THE MORNING RANT: “Software as a Service” - a.k.a. Software That Prevents Employees From Getting Work Done

How was Twitter able to let go of 80% of its workforce without a negative impact to its customers? The answer, of course, is that few employees at Twitter were doing anything productive.

Were they busy? Quite possibly. I have observed in other workplaces (perhaps including some where I have worked) that employees are extremely busy just trying to keep up with all the SaaS (“Software as a Service” programs that must be constantly engaged, at the expense of doing actual work.

Just staying logged in and keeping passwords updated is a burden. In a typical workplace, you may need 5 to 10 of these SaaS programs open at all times, but the IT department is hell-bent on logging you out if you neglect to use any of these programs for more than 10 or 15 minutes. Getting logged out means that you will have to waste 5 minutes or so logging back in, while each pop-up and radio button during the log-in process prevents you from doing any other work during this time.

Dilbert’s “Preventer of Information Services” smiles whenever you are kicked out of a program.

It’s an especially critical problem when there are fewer software licenses than employees for a particular SaaS. Once you are successfully logged in, you operate with a hoarder’s mindset, obsessing above all else about staying logged in, since you may not get access again that day.

So, a typical employee nowadays may find that his primary daily task is constantly clicking on the various SaaS programs to avoid being logged out.

If I were a fan of inefficiency, I’d applaud the fact that infrequently-used SaaS programs require password updates more frequently than the software actually needs to be used, resulting in an obsolete password every time a user tries to log in.

Isaac Simpson had a piece at The American Mind last week that captured in words how bad the situation is. The thesis of his piece was actually about marketing agencies and the Bud Light debacle, but in talking about workplace culture at marketing agencies, he brilliantly described how SaaS is strangling productivity out of corporate American workplaces.

We Must Seize the Means of Propaganda [American Mind – 4/25/2023]

Several years ago, I joined a mainstream marketing agency in a creative direction role. This is the list of SaaS, or Software as a service, programs I was required to use to do the job.

He then lists 31 programs, which I presume many of you are ~~tormented by~~ familiar with.

Most of my time was spent logging in and out of these programs with our SSO software, which rarely worked, needed to be constantly updated, and broke links to the programs it was supposed to be securing, all of which required two-factor authentication lest our top-secret brand fonts and colors be leaked to the public.

Heh.

The most pernicious software, however, is that which has the user constantly giving updates about what he is doing, which takes the employee away from actually doing any real work.

By far the evilest SaaS was Adobe’s project-management software, aptly-named Workfront; advancing the front of work without producing anything. It allowed my…management team to assign and re-assign tasks, edit calendars, send reminders, click “in-progress” and “complete” checkboxes, update various statuses from red to yellow to green, and track billable hours down to the minute, all while demanding that we do the same.

Red / Yellow / Green software is so embarrassingly childish. Even worse is when “task status” software requires daily essays on what is keeping you from getting tasks done, what you’ve learned from overcoming obstacles on this task, etc. I’ve never used Workfront, but it sounds like other productivity-sapping SaaS I’ve had to use.

We spent the majority of our days on Workfront managing the work we were supposed to be doing without ever actually doing any of it: levers floating in space, connected to nothing, switching back and forth forever into eternity. We tracked hours in the tracking software, tagged team members in the calendar software, had four to six hours of meetings in the meeting software, then signed off at 3 p.m. and called it a day. My role writing ideas, concepts, and content for large brands in reality required only one program—Google Docs. But the amount of time doing actual conceiving and writing was maybe—and I mean this seriously—three to four hours a week.

The corporate workplace would be so much more efficient if corporate executives could start learning to say “No” to the software industrial complex.

[buck.throckmorton at protonmail dot com]

Posted by: Buck Throckmorton at 11:00 AM

Comments
(Jump to bottom of comments)

1 first

Posted by: SturmToddler at May 01, 2023 11:00 AM (Mkvkw)

2 Good morning everyone.

Posted by: Tonypete at May 01, 2023 11:00 AM (qoGsy)

3 boldly he claimed SPONGE!!!

Posted by: SturmToddler at May 01, 2023 11:00 AM (Mkvkw)

4 corgis called

Posted by: SturmToddler at May 01, 2023 11:01 AM (Mkvkw)

5 For designers, Adobe Creative Cloud is the biggest piece of shit out there.

Posted by: Quilter's Irish Death at May 01, 2023 11:02 AM (OgrpQ)

6 What is it, exactly, you would say you do here?

Posted by: Adirondack Patriot at May 01, 2023 11:02 AM (lf83v)

7 "So, a typical employee nowadays may find that his primary daily task is constantly clicking on the various SaaS programs to avoid being logged out."

You need a guy to write a script to do that.

Posted by: gp's Prophecies Of Mood at May 01, 2023 11:02 AM (MvF+J)

8 How was Twitter able to let go of 80% of its workforce without a negative impact to its customers? The answer, of course, is that few employees at Twitter were doing anything productive.

----------

Hey, those worthless meetings scheduled all day by worthless mid-managers aren't going to attend themselves, you know?

Posted by: ShainS -- The Abolition of The West is from Men Without Chests at May 01, 2023 11:02 AM (PHnoB)

9 Dang!
Bold!

Posted by: Diogenes at May 01, 2023 11:03 AM (anj39)

10 Are you happy making things bold?

Posted by: The Two Bobs at May 01, 2023 11:03 AM (lf83v)

11 Weiner on the rise
Friends urging disgraced Dem to run for NYC mayor

Also, Windows 11 is shit.

Posted by: Maj. Healey at May 01, 2023 11:03 AM (N5C4b)

12 Oh sure. Fix it for mine!

*stamps foot*

Posted by: Diogenes at May 01, 2023 11:03 AM (anj39)

13 What is it, exactly, you would say you do here?
Posted by: Adirondack Patriot

"I HAVE PEOPLE SKILLS!!!!!!"

Posted by: Tonypete at May 01, 2023 11:03 AM (qoGsy)

14 Looks like the SaaS for bold fonts was active!

Posted by: Sasquatch, the Original Trans-Wookie at May 01, 2023 11:04 AM (xxG/v)

15 Almost lunch time

Posted by: Skip at May 01, 2023 11:04 AM (LFvGS)

16 I rate this as mostly true.

Posted by: Pudinhead at May 01, 2023 11:04 AM (bGkHK)

17 Shoot!

Now we all have to log back into the Bold Fonts SaaS again.

*sigh*

Posted by: Sasquatch, the Original Trans-Wookie at May 01, 2023 11:05 AM (xxG/v)

18 and yes, SaaS is a horrible thing. and thank god i don't have too many of these programs. we just have random SSO issues with europe now. but vpn seems to keep the trouble to a minimum

Posted by: SturmToddler at May 01, 2023 11:05 AM (Mkvkw)

19 My company uses password-less authentication. When you want to use an asset a dialog pops up with a number on it and you have to use your phone to enter that number.

From time to time, the authenticator on the phone wants to renew its authentication. It uses the same mechanism. So it sends a message to the phone you're using asking if it's allowed to use that phone for authentication.

So many people in decision making positions are functionally retarded.

Posted by: I used to have a different nic at May 01, 2023 11:05 AM (1Z8zZ)

20 "P20"

Posted by: CZ=FNG, Free Republic of Florida at May 01, 2023 11:05 AM (MkuC5)

21 2 Factor Authentication = IT VP's justifying their jobs.

Posted by: tbodie..Lurker. Unless you are reading this. at May 01, 2023 11:05 AM (PUkDu)

22 I retired at a good time - entered the IT workforce just as computers started to be networked in-office, saw the rise of the internet, and have observed as usable functionality reached a plateau - but complexity did not...

Posted by: Parker at May 01, 2023 11:05 AM (hJWil)

23 It's not SaaS as a software deployment paradigm that's the problem here. The problem is an employer who forces employees to do unproductive crap. Good old-fashioned timewaster 'meetings' probably still top that sorry list.

Posted by: gp's Prophecies Of Mood at May 01, 2023 11:05 AM (MvF+J)

24 "The corporate workplace would be so much more efficient if corporate executives could start learning to say “No” to the software industrial complex."

What? Then the executives wouldn't be getting free Super Bowl tickets and party invites and travel and kickbacks and drugs and whores as perks from the software companies. Can't have that.

Posted by: Elric Blade at May 01, 2023 11:06 AM (iFTx/)

25 At my job, off the top of my head these are all the saas apps I use. slack, teams, salesforce, jira, workday, Monday.

Posted by: Montec at May 01, 2023 11:06 AM (YAnsW)

26 Windows 11 does that sh#t. If I pick up my keyboard it logs me out and I have to log back in with a fricking pass word.

Posted by: vic at May 01, 2023 11:06 AM (mMi2k)

27 Automatic log outs and two factor authentications are the bane of human existence.

Posted by: Archer at May 01, 2023 11:06 AM (gmo/4)

28 "The corporate workplace would be so much more efficient if corporate executives could start learning to say “No” to the software industrial complex." Buck

Wait, are you suggesting that someone, somewhere has the right or the audacity to tell the tech tyrants to go pound sand?

How dare you.

Posted by: Madamemayhem (uppity wench) at May 01, 2023 11:06 AM (Wy1BU)

29 Windows and all of its bastard children become more intolerable with every iteration.

Has anybody else noticed that you have to click thru 5 confirmation prompts to get anything done, and also, when you get to where you want to be, a fucking pop-up appears to tell you that if you upgrade soon you'll be the cock of the office?!

Too many useless geeks have learned to code.

Posted by: Dr. Bone at May 01, 2023 11:07 AM (KVGVf)

30 The most pernicious software, however, is that which has the user constantly giving updates about what he is doing, which takes the employee away from actually doing any real work.

My daughter works for big law, and has to account for her time in 7 minute increments. Seven. Minutes.

Posted by: Archimedes at May 01, 2023 11:07 AM (eOEVl)

31 Don’t like SaaS? Don’t drive one.

Posted by: Bulgaroctonus at May 01, 2023 11:07 AM (ARisI)

32 i will say, the ONE thing i find most hysterical is, our IT group has enabled 2 factor authentication on our laptops, that requires me to use a second device at times to say i'm who i say i am.

but i have to use my cell phone for the alternate number. now, this isn't an issue for the corporate people with a company phone.

however, i'm not allowed to do anything company related on my PRIVATE cell, so how exactly am i supposed to authenticate using said device?

Posted by: SturmToddler at May 01, 2023 11:07 AM (Mkvkw)

33 Software As A Straitjacket

Posted by: Warai-otoko at May 01, 2023 11:08 AM (/EuRN)

34 One IT worker to another:

"I wonder who it was that made this look good in a conference room, to people who will never have to use it.

I have something in the parking lot that I'd like to show them..."

Posted by: Parker at May 01, 2023 11:08 AM (hJWil)

35 New Age Peter Gibbons: I have to login 25 times a day on 15 different platforms, and I have 6 regional managers, 4 territorial managers and 9 division managers to answer to Bob.

Posted by: Thomas Bender at May 01, 2023 11:08 AM (up/3i)

36 Me at a Trump vs DeSantis thread...

Nature is Amazing ☘️ @AMAZlNGNATURE · 12h
Having doubts between being good guy and bad guy

https://tinyurl.com/3a2ys9sv

Posted by: andycanuck (Vwz3I) at May 01, 2023 11:08 AM (Vwz3I)

37 Automatic log outs and two factor authentications are the bane of human existence.

Posted by: Archer

Add to that changing of your phone number and you've arrived at the 5th level of Hell.

Posted by: Tonypete at May 01, 2023 11:09 AM (qoGsy)

38 "Incorrect Password. Please change your password"

*changes password*

"Password cannot be the same as the last password"

WTF?

Posted by: rickb223 at May 01, 2023 11:09 AM (GIBR7)

39 If the company bought an excavator, and they don't need an excavator, and no one knows how to run an excavator, but everyone is required to sit in the excavator the times a day, that's not the excavator's fault.

Posted by: Warai-otoko at May 01, 2023 11:09 AM (/EuRN)

40 Just staying logged in and keeping passwords updated is a burden. In a typical workplace, you may need 5 to 10 of these SaaS programs open at all times, but the IT department is hell-bent on logging you out if you neglect to use any of these programs for more than 10 or 15 minutes. Getting logged out means that you will have to waste 5 minutes or so logging back in, while each pop-up and radio button during the log-in process prevents you from doing any other work during this time.
++++
This is a problem with no need to exist. Any business using a lot of web-based applications should implement single sign-on (SSO). There are tons of SSO providers out there. They're also SaaS, of course (usually).

When SSO works well, it's incredibly useful. When it doesn't work well, it's the ultimate in frustrating productivity destruction. But man, a good SSO system is worth its weight in gold.

Posted by: Joe Mannix (Not a cop!) at May 01, 2023 11:10 AM (t0OGg)

41 Add to that changing of your phone number and you've arrived at the 5th level of Hell.
Posted by: Tonypete at May 01, 2023 11:09 AM

Tonypete wins.

Posted by: tbodie..Lurker. Unless you are reading this. at May 01, 2023 11:10 AM (PUkDu)

42 I have been retired for two years and I still am on the company's Outlook calendar so I am still invited to all the pointless Zoomish meetings.

One day I might log in and be obnoxious so they will take me off the list.

Posted by: G'rump928(c) at May 01, 2023 11:10 AM (aD39U)

43 Automatic log outs and two factor authentications are the bane of human existence.

Posted by: Archer

Especially when using facial recognition. WTF? You already know it's me.

Posted by: rickb223 at May 01, 2023 11:10 AM (GIBR7)

44 My daughter works for big law, and has to account for her time in 7 minute increments. Seven. Minutes.
Posted by: Archimedes at May 01, 2023 11:07 AM (eOEVl)

how does that even work? i worked at a shipyard on govt contracts and we had to keep track in 6 minute blocks. but that makes sense, it's tenths of an hour.

what fucking genius came up with 7 minutes?...

Posted by: SturmToddler at May 01, 2023 11:10 AM (Mkvkw)

45 *three

Posted by: Warai-otoko at May 01, 2023 11:10 AM (/EuRN)

46 This morning, Adobe Creative Cloud helpfully notified me that I have four pending updates available. The first time I tried to update the software, I had to open the Task Manager to close the CC Desktop because it was non-responsive.

Let's try it again...

Posted by: "Perfessor" Squirrel at May 01, 2023 11:10 AM (YIVH2)

47 Do they still use the fobs with the rolling authentication codes? I thought those worked pretty well.

Posted by: Maj. Healey at May 01, 2023 11:11 AM (N5C4b)

48 35 New Age Peter Gibbons: I have to login 25 times a day on 15 different platforms, and I have 6 regional managers, 4 territorial managers and 9 division managers to answer to Bob.

Posted by: Thomas Bender at May 01, 2023 11:08 AM (up/3i)
----
Me being pedantic but consistent:
'... 6 regional managers, 4 territorial managers and 9 DIVISiONAL managers to answer to Bob.'

Posted by: Ciampino - mostest, bestest of all at May 01, 2023 11:11 AM (qfLjt)

49 A bought a laptop recently with W11 on it. It insists on mapping my Documents folder to OneDrive.

Posted by: Halfhand at May 01, 2023 11:11 AM (oma9r)

50 I hate Software as a Service. I'd rather use old, outdated software to do what I need to do. For my work, Adobe CS6 works just fine.

Posted by: BeckoningChasm at May 01, 2023 11:11 AM (p+1gI)

51 Just staying logged in and keeping passwords updated is a burden. In a typical workplace, you may need 5 to 10 of these SaaS programs open at all times, but the IT department is hell-bent on logging you out if you neglect to use any of these programs for more than 10 or 15 minutes. Getting logged out means that you will have to waste 5 minutes or so logging back in, while each pop-up and radio button during the log-in process prevents you from doing any other work during this time.

$14.95 undetectable mouse jiggler from amazon.

Makes the mouse move slightly enough it doesn't log you out.

Posted by: rickb223 at May 01, 2023 11:12 AM (GIBR7)

52 How dare you.

Posted by: Madamemayhem (uppity wench) at May 01, 2023 11:06 AM (Wy1BU)

Greta called and said you owe her a carbon-free quarter.

Posted by: I used to have a different nic at May 01, 2023 11:12 AM (1Z8zZ)

53 Note that if the company is billing its own clients for time, then the magic of all this time-wasting should become apparent.

Same thing when I was back at the big law firm billing by the hour. The firm rewarded you for billing big hours. Not for being very efficient with your time. You get more of what you're rewarded for.

Then when I went in-house and was responsible in part for managing outside lawyers, I saw first hand how much money was being wasted. Tasks that using hourly rates would take 100 hours could suddenly get done for 50 hours -- when the lawyers were getting paid a flat fee for the task instead of per-hour billing. Funny how that works.

Posted by: Elric Blade at May 01, 2023 11:12 AM (iFTx/)

54 Damn near everything is SaaS now which is all part of the "you will own nothing and like it" mandate being shoved down our throats.

Posted by: Give me a one-time fee and a DVD-ROM with the program on it at May 01, 2023 11:12 AM (pLSJi)

55 One IT worker to another:

"I wonder who it was that made this look good in a conference room, to people who will never have to use it.

I have something in the parking lot that I'd like to show them..."
Posted by: Parker

I tried mightily for years to require the most senior person in the division use the apps once or twice. Similarly, have them call into the help desk anonymously to attempt to get something done.

If they found it impossible, it wasn't production ready. Wanna guess how that request went over the years?

Posted by: Tonypete at May 01, 2023 11:12 AM (qoGsy)

56 what fucking genius came up with 7 minutes?...

You know who would make a great president? Joe Biden, that's who.

Posted by: Archimedes at May 01, 2023 11:12 AM (eOEVl)

57 Passwords. Authentications. Standards. Man, I don't miss any of that after I retired from IT work a decade back and things weren't half as crazy then as they are now. We thought we had it bad when this sort of dialogue went on:
1st programmer: It’s extremely difficult to get a standard passed.
2nd programmer: That’s because you wouldn’t want us to ignore just any old thing.

Posted by: tankascribe at May 01, 2023 11:12 AM (sKhRH)

58 47 Do they still use the fobs with the rolling authentication codes? I thought those worked pretty well.
Posted by: Maj. Healey at May 01, 2023 11:11 AM (N5C4b)

... until some jackleg from IT rolls in and disables all your parallel port drivers for no reason after fifteen years and bricks your sentinel service and disables the security system for an entire building....

Posted by: Warai-otoko at May 01, 2023 11:13 AM (/EuRN)

59 By far the evilest SaaS was Adobe’s project-management software, aptly-named Workfront; advancing the front of work without producing anything. It allowed my…management team to assign and re-assign tasks, edit calendars, send reminders, click “in-progress” and “complete” checkboxes, update various statuses from red to yellow to green, and track billable hours down to the minute, all while demanding that we do the same.
++++
I've never used Workfront. I've used various others. It all comes down to this, and it always does:
Project management software can never be good enough to eliminate the need for effective and competent project managers.

If you have *good* project management, the tool being used doesn't really matter. It can make the project manager's life a bit easier, and make it easier for those on the project. it will not make or break the project. I've had brilliant project managers who track everything in Excel and deliver the goods on time. I've had lousy project managers using whiz-bang software and get nothing done.

Competence cannot be wrapped in a pretty front-end and automated away.

Posted by: Joe Mannix (Not a cop!) at May 01, 2023 11:13 AM (t0OGg)

60 Let's try it again...

Posted by: "Perfessor" Squirrel at May 01, 2023 11:10 AM (YIVH2)

Creative Cloud is the biggest piece of shit. I have to reinstall it almost monthly.

Posted by: Quilter's Irish Death at May 01, 2023 11:13 AM (OgrpQ)

61 If bad software foisted off on employees, most likely, it was inflicted on the employees by management, not IT.

Even worse, once the bad software becomes part of the corporate culture, getting rid of it becomes extremely difficult.

*disclaimer: currently working for a company who's IT manager is working hard to get rid of crappy software. He's not only fighting management, he's also fighting employee inertia.

Posted by: blake - semi lurker in marginal standing(2YtOq) at May 01, 2023 11:13 AM (2YtOq)

62 The Biden economy by quarter since Jan. 2021:

https://tinyurl.com/2s49cpz9

50 seconds

Posted by: andycanuck (Vwz3I) at May 01, 2023 11:13 AM (Vwz3I)

63 But man, a good SSO system is worth its weight in gold.
Posted by: Joe Mannix (Not a cop!) at May 01, 2023 11:10 AM (t0OGg)

But software doesn't weigh anything ...

Posted by: spindrift at May 01, 2023 11:14 AM (ivvNA)

64 D365 and PowerBI are the devil.

Posted by: Thomas Bender at May 01, 2023 11:14 AM (up/3i)

65 2 Factor Authentication = IT VP's justifying their jobs.
Posted by: tbodie..Lurker. Unless you are reading this. at May 01, 2023 11:05 AM (PUkDu)
---
Worse.

Justifying federal contracts that will be lost if they *don't* comply with this nonsense.

Posted by: "Perfessor" Squirrel at May 01, 2023 11:14 AM (YIVH2)

66 61 If bad software foisted off on employees, most likely, it was inflicted on the employees by management, not IT.

Even worse, once the bad software becomes part of the corporate culture, getting rid of it becomes extremely difficult.

But the icon came in the loveliest color of cornflower blue!

Posted by: Sound technological decisions at May 01, 2023 11:14 AM (pLSJi)

67 *uncloaks*

*appears silhouetted amidst the forest against a moonlit backdrop*

*pulls out phone*

*logs back in to cloaking service*

*fades to darkness*

Posted by: Fettersquatch at May 01, 2023 11:14 AM (Vu7A1)

68 Worse.

Justifying federal contracts that will be lost if they *don't* comply with this nonsense.

What?

Posted by: DEI at May 01, 2023 11:15 AM (eOEVl)

69 Greta called and said you owe her a carbon-free quarter.
Posted by: I used to have a different nic
Put her on hold with Burning Down the House playing for an hour, then tell her to suck my muffler.

Posted by: Madamemayhem (uppity wench) at May 01, 2023 11:15 AM (Wy1BU)

70 The corporate workplace would be so much more efficient if corporate executives could start learning to say “No” to the software industrial complex.

----------

Heh. Even back in the early 90s, I was astonished that our IT Department spent a small fortune on software that we didn't need.

Subsequently learned just through the grapevine that the VP who made the purchasing decision was a BFF of the software's salesperson -- and had just returned from a two weeks all-expenses paid ski resort vacation courtesy of that salesperson. (don't recall if it was personally paid or through their company).

It's a big Racket Club (SWIDT?), and most of us aren't in it ...

Posted by: ShainS -- The Abolition of The West is from Men Without Chests at May 01, 2023 11:15 AM (kVQ9o)

71 Most software, of any kind, went to shit when someone suggested "new features" that had nothing to do with the core functionality.

Posted by: Martini Farmer at May 01, 2023 11:15 AM (Q4IgG)

72 Back in 2005 or thereabouts I hired a software form to work on a project for my startup. They convinced me to join their software management system so I could keep up to date on their progress.

The absolutely uninterrupted sequence of alerts, pings, messages, and whatnot completely destroyed any ability to FOCUS. I quit the software within a day and fired the development team after the first month.

Posted by: Candidus at May 01, 2023 11:15 AM (Zc7Fe)

73 And you ain't even talked about timewasters like mandatory DIE training and updates blahblahblah....

Posted by: Eromero at May 01, 2023 11:16 AM (Uv0D2)

74 A bought a laptop recently with W11 on it. It insists on mapping my Documents folder to OneDrive.
Posted by: Halfhand at May 01, 2023 11:11 AM (oma9r)

---------------

OneDrive is a killer. And, from what I've seen, if one installs a new anti virus software package, the antivirus program now needs to scan all the crap in OneDrive, which impacts system performance.

Posted by: blake - semi lurker in marginal standing(2YtOq) at May 01, 2023 11:16 AM (2YtOq)

75 27 Automatic log outs and two factor authentications are the bane of human existence.

Posted by: Archer at May 01, 2023 11:06 AM (gmo/4)

Having worked in IT for 40+ years, I am chuckling at all of the observations and complaints. (then I'm locking your accounts because I can

)

Posted by: Our Country is Screwed at May 01, 2023 11:16 AM (N39Ws)

76 A bought a laptop recently with W11 on it. It insists on mapping my Documents folder to OneDrive.

Anyone know how to stop this?

Posted by: Diesel Jones, Biologist at May 01, 2023 11:16 AM (Vu7A1)

77 Just staying logged in and keeping passwords updated is a burden.

The fact we are still using these, and endlessly increasing the complexity of them is stupid.

Passwords are hard for humans to remember and easy to hack...ESPECIALLY...if you "increase the complexity"

Honestly the real answer is get real about punishing hackers - yes the death penalty and yes on live TV.

Posted by: 18-1 at May 01, 2023 11:16 AM (lc5cP)

78 But man, a good SSO system is worth its weight in gold.
Posted by: Joe Mannix (Not a cop!) at May 01, 2023 11:10 AM (t0OGg)

But software doesn't weigh anything ...
Posted by: spindrift at May 01, 2023 11:14 AM (ivvNA)
***

Damn it. They are catching on!

Posted by: Bob at NSA at May 01, 2023 11:17 AM (anj39)

79 Anyone know how to stop this?
Posted by: Diesel Jones, Biologist at May 01, 2023 11:16 AM (Vu7A1)

Ubuntu

Posted by: Warai-otoko at May 01, 2023 11:17 AM (/EuRN)

80 The corporate workplace would be so much more efficient if corporate executives could start learning to say “No” to the software industrial complex.

[buck.throckmorton at protonmail dot com]

Posted by: Buck Throckmorton at 11:00 AM

I guess it's not just government that is full of phony-baloney jobs what need protecting.
This software is job security.

Posted by: OneEyedJack at May 01, 2023 11:17 AM (FCbAQ)

81 Oh sure. Fix it for mine!

*stamps foot*

Posted by: Diogenes at May 01, 2023 11:03 AM (anj39)

----------

Heh. Close tags in the nic FTW!

Posted by: ShainS -- The Abolition of The West is from Men Without Chests at May 01, 2023 11:17 AM (kVQ9o)

82 Two factor authentication, complex passwords and automatic logouts are an annoyance. This is the solution put in place because people like to use passwords with their initials followed by "123". Or use the password "password".

Posted by: Our Country is Screwed at May 01, 2023 11:18 AM (N39Ws)

83 Anyone know how to stop this?

Buy an Apple?

Posted by: Archimedes at May 01, 2023 11:18 AM (eOEVl)

84 From what I've observed, all Adobe software is mostly shit.

Posted by: Angzarr the Cromulent at May 01, 2023 11:18 AM (XMwZJ)

85 The corporate workplace would be so much more efficient if corporate executives could start learning to say “No” to the software industrial complex.
++++
Not a chance, and there are a couple of reasons for that. First, there's the *real* purpose of SaaS: rent extraction. There's a reason so much enterprise software is shifting to SaaS rather than on-premise and - G-d forbid - on-premise perpetual licensing.

And the sales pitch is, of course, "savings." The pitch goes something like, "Sure, it's expensive per-seat but your TCO of the on-premise solution is higher unless you're operating at cloud scale because you have to maintain the equipment and a big IT department. Switch to SaaS and get our expert management of the system and award-winning support and then get rid of 85% of your servers and 80% of your IT workforce, bank the savings, claim your bonus and enjoy your new yacht."

It never works out that way, but the pitch is alluring. I think cloud/SaaS can often make sense for small and midsize enterprises. It's rarely actually a good value or change in larger businesses in my experience.

Posted by: Joe Mannix (Not a cop!) at May 01, 2023 11:18 AM (t0OGg)

86 Automatic log outs and two factor authentications are the bane of human existence.

I once worked with an OS that wouldn't let you choose your own password. It would generate a list of "secure" passwords that were all like the famous XKCD "Tr0ub@dor" example and you picked one. Furthermore, they were only good for like two weeks. So what do you do with a password like that? Obviously, you write it down on a yellow sticky and stick it to your screen or under your keyboard. Yay, security achieved!

Posted by: Oddbob at May 01, 2023 11:18 AM (nfrXX)

87 @79

>>Ubuntu

Linux Mint which is a fork of Ubuntu would ease a Windows user into the Linux World.

Posted by: Thomas Bender at May 01, 2023 11:18 AM (up/3i)

88 Ubuntu
-----------
Only with my wife.

Posted by: andycanuck (Vwz3I) at May 01, 2023 11:18 AM (Vwz3I)

89 I hate Software as a Service. I'd rather use old, outdated software to do what I need to do. For my work, Adobe CS6 works just fine.
Posted by: BeckoningChasm at May 01, 2023

***
There are times I miss MS Word for DOS.

Posted by: Wolfus Aurelius, Dreaming of Elsewhere at May 01, 2023 11:18 AM (J2vNu)

90 Mid-to-upper level management dipshits are stupid and gullible, and have to be seen to be busy changing shit for the sake of changing shit, so they get sucked in by asshole, smooth talking consultants to sign up for the latest corporate fad du jour.

Then the lower level drones are subjected to the nonsense, and meekly comply because they know that this, too will pass when the next bullshit program is eagerly unveiled.

Posted by: Deplorable Ian Galt at May 01, 2023 11:18 AM (ufFY8)

91 PowerBI are the devil.
Posted by: Thomas Bender at May 01, 2023 11:14 AM (up/3i)

the best part is when you IT doesn't tell you where the power bi is, just the individual report, so you have to trace the breadcrumb trail to find the origin

Posted by: SturmToddler at May 01, 2023 11:18 AM (Mkvkw)

92
Anyone know how to stop this?
Posted by: Diesel Jones, Biologist at May 01, 2023 11:16 AM (Vu7A1)
--------------

Uninstall OneDrive.

Posted by: blake - semi lurker in marginal standing(2YtOq) at May 01, 2023 11:19 AM (2YtOq)

93 Most software, of any kind, went to shit when someone suggested "new features" that had nothing to do with the core functionality.

Sometimes software is done - looking at you excel.

But if you just stop developing it you lay off/repurpose the people working on it. And people don't want to do that.

The natural answer is eventually the company runs out of money if they don't address this, but with big businesses tied at the hip to big government that doesn't seem to be happening.

Posted by: 18-1 at May 01, 2023 11:19 AM (lc5cP)

94 We just got onboarded to a new workflow tool that was supposed to improve efficiency across all internal departments and generate useful statistics for work. It takes forever to load initially, logs you out after 5 minutes, doesn't capture all of our work (we then have to use teams or Outlook), and doesn't capture the reporting like our old tool used. Managers and VPs are having to use excel to make sure our metrics are met. Completely ridiculous. We've been told that we have a 3 year contract, and a replacement won't begin development until NEXT September.

Posted by: Mishdog at May 01, 2023 11:19 AM (LZL30)

95 @84

>>From what I've observed, all Adobe software is mostly shit.

Yes, it is all sh*t but it's defacto standard sh*t.

Posted by: Thomas Bender at May 01, 2023 11:19 AM (up/3i)

96 79 Anyone know how to stop this?
Posted by: Diesel Jones, Biologist at May 01, 2023 11:16 AM (Vu7A1)

Ubuntu
Posted by: Warai-otoko at May 01, 2023 11:17 AM (/EuRN)

I'm primarily a Microsoft platform person. We have one Ubuntu server that runs our system monitoring application. Love it. Absolutely love Ubuntu. If I could find the tools in Ubuntu to do my SQL development, integration and reporting - I'd reformat my laptop today.

Posted by: Our Country is Screwed at May 01, 2023 11:19 AM (N39Ws)

97 Speaking of computer stuff...
I want to reprogram my Garmin navigation system with the voice of the Mandalorian. Then every time I make the proper turn while following directions, it says "This is the way."

Posted by: Bob at NSA at May 01, 2023 11:19 AM (anj39)

98 Anyone know how to stop this?

Registry hack it seems. I'm looking into it. My biggest peeve is that it wants to put all the Outlook .pst files there as well. I have years worth of emails, so those files are quite large.

Posted by: Halfhand at May 01, 2023 11:20 AM (oma9r)

99 One does not just... "uninstall OneDrive"

Posted by: Boromir at May 01, 2023 11:20 AM (/EuRN)

100 Yet, the MIC gets hacked all the time. I guess their passwords are all "guest".

Posted by: Archer at May 01, 2023 11:21 AM (gmo/4)

101 Regarding Adobe: Once Adobe became the industry standard, the company stopped caring about their software.

Posted by: blake - semi lurker in marginal standing(2YtOq) at May 01, 2023 11:21 AM (2YtOq)

102 24 "The corporate workplace would be so much more efficient if corporate executives could start learning to say “No” to the software industrial complex."

What? Then the executives wouldn't be getting free Super Bowl tickets and party invites and travel and kickbacks and drugs and whores as perks from the software companies. Can't have that.
Posted by: Elric Blade at May 01, 2023 11:06 AM (iFTx/)
==========

Make the C suite asshole use this crap for a week and it will get fixed quickly. If they actually knew how shitty it was, and how counter productive it is, they would not allow it.

Posted by: Bonecrusher at May 01, 2023 11:21 AM (JNTt1)

103 The problem is that software is written by "software engineers," who, apparently, are mostly composed of the same worthless idiots that get "doctorate" degrees in "education."

Posted by: Angzarr the Cromulent at May 01, 2023 11:21 AM (XMwZJ)

104 Anyone know how to stop this?
Posted by: Diesel Jones, Biologist at May 01, 2023 11:16 AM (Vu7A1)
--------------

Uninstall OneDrive.
Posted by: blake - semi lurker in marginal standing(2YtOq) at May 01, 2023 11:19 AM (2YtOq)
---
That's the first thing I do when I get a new computer before I start transferring files.

Posted by: "Perfessor" Squirrel at May 01, 2023 11:21 AM (YIVH2)

105 When I was working for the US Treasury we had to use tokens to access certain systems. This was back in the early days of multi-factor authentication. 1990's. The tokens resynched every 5 minutes, meaning if didn't get your shit done in 5 minutes you had to log back in.

Management could have set the timeout for anything, but being assholes and not knowing a thing about multi-factor authentication and system timeouts they opted for what they thought was "secure."

Secure enough that not a fucking thing got done until it was changed.

Posted by: Martini Farmer at May 01, 2023 11:22 AM (Q4IgG)

106 Ubuntu

Posted by: Warai-otoko at May 01, 2023 11:17 AM (/EuRN)

--------

Heh. +1

Posted by: ShainS -- The Abolition of The West is from Men Without Chests at May 01, 2023 11:22 AM (kVQ9o)

107 I once worked with an OS that wouldn't let you choose your own password. It would generate a list of "secure" passwords that were all like the famous XKCD "Tr0ub@dor" example and you picked one. Furthermore, they were only good for like two weeks. So what do you do with a password like that? Obviously, you write it down on a yellow sticky and stick it to your screen or under your keyboard. Yay, security achieved!
Posted by: Oddbob at May 01, 2023 11:18 AM (nfrXX)
++++
The worst example of this I ever encountered was when I worked on a government system. The rules were bonkers: exactly eight characters, at least on capital so long as it was not the first or last character, at least two numerals, the numerals could not be next to each-other, no character could be used more than once. The password expired every six weeks and the new password could not match any of the previous 18 passwords, nor could any character appear in the same position as in the previous 18 passwords.

Also, it was a secure facility that was regularly (every day) audited, so sticky notes were not an option.

I eventually figured out how to deal with it.

Posted by: Joe Mannix (Not a cop!) at May 01, 2023 11:22 AM (t0OGg)

108 Bet a lot of the Twitter work force never stepped into the building once a week.And then maybe to play a ping-pong game while they were there.

Posted by: Skip at May 01, 2023 11:23 AM (LFvGS)

109 The safest system is one that cannot be used.

And in many companies the security people will NOT be dinged for slowing down the workforce but WILL be dinged if they get hacked.

So...of course they are always doing to come down on "making things more secure" no matter the cost.

Posted by: 18-1 at May 01, 2023 11:23 AM (lc5cP)

110 Two factor authentication, complex passwords and automatic logouts are an annoyance. This is the solution put in place because people like to use passwords with their initials followed by "123". Or use the password "password".
Posted by: Our Country is Screwed at May 01, 2023

***
My solution for all the passwords required on 'Net sites: a capitalized made-up word from obscure science fiction; a digit repeated twice; an "at" sign; and a 2-3 letter abbreviation for the site in question. It usually solves all the character requirements and has a mnemonic for me. But it's different for each site.

Posted by: Wolfus Aurelius, Dreaming of Elsewhere at May 01, 2023 11:24 AM (J2vNu)

111 We are looking at replacing the proctoring SaaS product we've been using for the past few years.

Of course the real solution is to DESIGN BETTER ASSESSMENTS.

But faculty are often not willing to do that...They seem to believe ALL students are cheating, when only a tiny minority may be doing so.

Posted by: "Perfessor" Squirrel at May 01, 2023 11:24 AM (YIVH2)

112 What? Then the executives wouldn't be getting free Super Bowl tickets and party invites and travel and kickbacks and drugs and whores as perks from the software companies. Can't have that.
Posted by: Elric Blade at May 01, 2023 11:06 AM (iFTx/)

^^^^
This.

Worked at a place years ago where we were working with a big software vendor. Our CIO went to the SuperBowl 2-3 times. Never offered to take any of the staff who were working on the crap he was enslaving with this vendor. I can only imagine the other kickbacks, etc. he got. To make matters worse, he was the absolute worst manager I ever worked for. It was a celebration day when he was canned.

Posted by: Our Country is Screwed at May 01, 2023 11:24 AM (N39Ws)

113 Soon-to-be-Former Chicago Mayor Lightfoot Begs Texas to Stop Sending Them Illegals

-
Poor baby!

Posted by: Anonosaurus Wrecks, Is this the real life? Is this just fantasy? at May 01, 2023 11:24 AM (FVME7)

114 I got an email from Google, telling me I had 'Web Activity' turned on. Thinking this meant Google was tracking my every keystroke, I turned it off. That was when Amazon stopped working for me. I could log in to Amazon but couldn't access my account details. Couldn't even receive emails from Amazon. Numerous calls to Bangladesh later, I finally got it straightened out.

Posted by: DB - smashing with hammer at May 01, 2023 11:24 AM (geLO8)

115 I eventually figured out how to deal with it.
Posted by: Joe Mannix (Not a cop!) at May 01, 2023 11:22 AM (t0OGg)
---
Wrote a script?

Posted by: "Perfessor" Squirrel at May 01, 2023 11:25 AM (YIVH2)

116 84 From what I've observed, all Adobe software is mostly shit.
Posted by: Angzarr the Cromulent at May 01, 2023 11:18 AM (XMwZJ)

I usually loathe subscription services but have never had major problems with Adobe's, even after 30 years.

Posted by: Dr. Varno at May 01, 2023 11:25 AM (X+Ku8)

117 These endless, random security checks and identity verification for logging onto sites has become a mostly worthless drag, especially considering the sheer number of site between work, personal and family. Impossible to keep up with all the passwords, which I'm always changing. It has become like a digital TSA right on my computer every time I want to use it.

Posted by: Ripley at May 01, 2023 11:25 AM (cUYo/)

118 I love a good punchline. From a article in JJs report this morning:

-----------
The liberatory promises of the 1990s, the high point of the Californian Ideology, have led over the past decade and a half to mass epistemic fragmentation and social-cognitive degeneration: ever-shorter attention spans; a tribalized and post-rational society; citizens who are far less literate, creative, or capable of critical and abstract thinking than their forebears; human beings who are lonelier, more atomized, and prone to mental illness; a public discourse mired in the shallow and ephemeral; a nation stuck in a never-ending present—unable to remember its past or to imagine its future. All this was the result of outsourcing the processes of human thought and socialization to the algorithm.
-----------

Oh yeah it couldn't possibly be our intentionally deficient education system l, filled to the brim with Marxist agitators with the lone goal of indoctrination from K all the way to PhD, and media chock full of said same. Blame technology.

Posted by: ... at May 01, 2023 11:26 AM (uYMKY)

119 ||On Friday, General Mills announced a voluntary recall of Gold Medal flour due to potential salmonella contamination.

The recall applies to 2, 5, and 10-pound bags of Gold Medal unbleached and bleached all-purpose flour with “better if used by” dates of March 27, 2024, and March 28, 2024. The U.S. Food and Drug Administration confirmed the presence of salmonella infantis in a five-pound bag of flour during testing, leading to the recall. Other types of Gold Medal flour are not affected by this recall.

General Mills advised consumers to dispose of any flour that falls under the recall guidelines. Customers who had to discard flour covered by the recall can contact General Mills Consumer Relations at 1-800-230-8103. The following code dates, which are currently in stores or consumers’ pantries, are included in this voluntary recall: 000-16000-10710 for bleached 2-pound bags, 000-16000-19610 for unbleached 5-pound bags, 000-16000-10610 for bleached 5-pound bags, and 000-16000-19580 for unbleached 10-pound bags.

Salmonella infantis infection can cause abdominal pains, diarrhea, fever, and nausea, according to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention.||

Posted by: andycanuck (Vwz3I) at May 01, 2023 11:26 AM (Vwz3I)

120 Speaking of computer stuff...
I want to reprogram my Garmin navigation system with the voice of the Mandalorian. Then every time I make the proper turn while following directions, it says "This is the way."
Posted by: Bob at NSA at May 01, 2023

***
I'd like my phone ringtone to say in Nicole Kidman's Aussie accent, "You were so great last night, Wolfus."

Posted by: Wolfus Aurelius, Dreaming of Elsewhere at May 01, 2023 11:26 AM (J2vNu)

121 @91

>>the best part is when you IT doesn't tell you where the power bi is, just the individual report, so you have to trace the breadcrumb trail to find the origin

The annoying part is that these yabos think MOAR graphs , MOAR dashboards and MOAR DATAAAAA!!!! is better than three or four concise relevant data points.

Knowing the warehouse reserve and backlog literally does nothing to help me, I do not care about those dimensions and yet it appears on every report.

Posted by: Thomas Bender at May 01, 2023 11:27 AM (up/3i)

122 Well, time to get out the door. Pooch has a vet visit.

Later!

Posted by: blake - semi lurker in marginal standing(2YtOq) at May 01, 2023 11:27 AM (2YtOq)

123 107
'The password expired every six weeks'

Where I work, you need to get a new password every single day for access to anything beyond your own laptop.

Posted by: Dr. Claw at May 01, 2023 11:27 AM (qVln6)

124 Off damn soc.

Posted by: Diogenes at May 01, 2023 11:28 AM (anj39)

125 So I'm kinda sorta going to have to disagree on this.

I have been in the SaaS space for (cough)some number of years(cough) back when we called it application hosting. Software is always kind of broken. Always has been. SaaSifying didn't make it unproductive it CAN be way more productive.

What is described here is that people are being required to work in unproductive ways. Managers who want red yellow green are going to have processes that require you to submit red yellow green updates.

Posted by: blaster at May 01, 2023 11:28 AM (pwExq)

126 Dude, Adobe managed to screw up their PDF reader program. Searching a PDF is now an utter nightmare...

Posted by: Angzarr the Cromulent at May 01, 2023 11:28 AM (XMwZJ)

127 Regarding Adobe: Once Adobe became the industry standard, the company stopped caring about their software.

Posted by: blake - semi lurker in marginal standing(2YtOq) at May 01, 2023 11:21 AM (2YtOq)

Exactly, Photoshop was nice 20+ years ago, now its shit. Aldus made a run at breaking into the industry in the mid 90's with Freehand competing against Illustrator. Adobe just bought them out.

Posted by: Quilter's Irish Death at May 01, 2023 11:28 AM (OgrpQ)

128 I'm one of those troglodytes who doesn't carry his cell everywhere, like a freaking oxygen tank. Inevitably, some site will send the two factor verification to the cell, requiring me to haul my ass to where my phone is.

FWP.

Posted by: Archimedes at May 01, 2023 11:28 AM (eOEVl)

129 Ubuntu
-----------
Only with my wife.

Posted by: andycanuck (Vwz3I) at May 01, 2023 11:18 AM (Vwz3I)

What the fuck is goony goohoo

Posted by: ... at May 01, 2023 11:28 AM (uYMKY)

130 Mine is a first world problem but I can't seem to grasp the editing system of the Squarespace website I originally set up. I need that SNL IT character to roll his eyes at me and tell me to move over so he can handle it. I would do the old trial and error method but this just makes it worse as you go down that error rabbit hole. I'd like to talk live to a Squarespace help desk but they just have a live chat system that has been down temporarily.
Aggravating.

Posted by: polynikes at May 01, 2023 11:29 AM (MyyMo)

131 113 'Soon-to-be-Former Chicago Mayor Lightfoot Begs Texas to Stop Sending Them Illegals

-
Poor baby!'

Stop being a sanctuary city and we'll consider it.

Posted by: Texas at May 01, 2023 11:29 AM (qVln6)

132 Anyone know how to stop this?
Posted by: Diesel Jones, Biologist at May 01, 2023 11:16 AM (Vu7A1)

Hit F13

Posted by: Diogenes at May 01, 2023 11:29 AM (anj39)

133 Wrote a script?
Posted by: "Perfessor" Squirrel at May 01, 2023 11:25 AM (YIVH2)
++++
Nope, not an option. I used a keyboard pattern. I worked from "Z" up to "1" and then repeated the process the next column over. I applied the shift at the bottom of the second column. Then I shifted one column right until I ran out of keyboard, then shifted left until I got back to the other end. For example, the first password was "zaq1Xsw2" and the second was "xsw2Cde3" and so on.

Not very secure, but I also never actually knew what my password was. I'd have to think really hard about it to be able to tell anyone the password, and maybe look at a keyboard for reference.

That's a security policy so hostile to the end user than it is long past the point of becoming counterproductive.

Posted by: Joe Mannix (Not a cop!) at May 01, 2023 11:29 AM (t0OGg)

134
Worse.

Justifying federal contracts that will be lost if they *don't* comply with this nonsense.

What?
Posted by: DEI

I've spent the last two weeks struggling with the fucking vendor questionnaires for a new customer who happens to be a Fed defense contractor. Most of it is DIE bullshit, but also ITAR and other stuff. Half of the questionnaires are onscreen fillable forms, the rest (including the largest form) don't have fillable boxes for your answers, so you have to print out the whole form, fill it in manually, then scan it. And since nothing on the form is explained well, you can be sure that you'll make a mistake, which prompts the upload system to reject the whole form and requires you to start over.

Best part is, all of the pdfs are save-protected. You CAN'T fill them in and save them, even under a different name. They all have to be printed out and scanned so that they can be submitted. FML

Posted by: IllTemperedCur at May 01, 2023 11:29 AM (n+4am)

135 Numerous calls to Bangladesh later, I finally got it straightened out.
Posted by: DB - smashing with hammer

'Steve' or 'Betty' clearly were able to do the needful for you.

Posted by: Tonypete at May 01, 2023 11:29 AM (qoGsy)

136 Ubuntu

My personal favorite but I need to keep one up to date Windows computer around.

I have deleted OneDrive but it made off with 5 gig worth of data (enough to fill the available free cloud storage) and I haven't been able to figure out where to delete it.

Posted by: Diesel Jones, Biologist at May 01, 2023 11:29 AM (Vu7A1)

137 The show must go on!

Bloody Alec Baldwin Seen on Set of Embattled “Rust” Film

Posted by: Anonosaurus Wrecks, Is this the real life? Is this just fantasy? at May 01, 2023 11:29 AM (FVME7)

138 The safest system is one that cannot be used.

Yes. The way I've always stated it is "Security is the reciprocal of usability."

Posted by: Oddbob at May 01, 2023 11:30 AM (nfrXX)

139 What the fuck is goony goohoo
Posted by: ... at May 01, 2023

***
Probably a new social influencer on Twatter who dresses like Gilligan

Posted by: Wolfus Aurelius, Dreaming of Elsewhere at May 01, 2023 11:30 AM (J2vNu)

140 When I worked for a large well-known high tech company (that will remain nameless), they had a pool of licenses for MatLab.

If you were going to need one sometime during the day, you had to start it up as soon as you got in (most especially before the West coast came online) or you were shutout for most of the day.

Posted by: SMOD at May 01, 2023 11:30 AM (RHGPo)

141 Get ready for President Low Energy to make another lying claim this afternoon, about he and Islam while growing up.

He will host a reception at the White House to celebrate Eid al-Fitr, the end of Ramadan.

"Folks, I was made an honorary Muslim while in high school, by the head Ayatollah for all US Muslims, who lived next door. No joke!"

Posted by: Gref at May 01, 2023 11:30 AM (AMIL/)

142 A lot of goldfinches outside my office window today.

Posted by: Bulgaroctonus at May 01, 2023 11:30 AM (ARisI)

143 Use Latin disease etc. names with numbers for your password/s!

Posted by: andycanuck (Vwz3I) at May 01, 2023 11:31 AM (Vwz3I)

144 138 The safest system is one that cannot be used.

You have been logged out for your protection.
YOU ARE NOW PROTECTED.

Posted by: SMOD at May 01, 2023 11:31 AM (RHGPo)

145 Salmonella infantis infection can cause abdominal pains, diarrhea, fever, and nausea, according to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention.
Posted by: andycanuck

Taco Bell has entered the digestive tract.

Posted by: Tonypete at May 01, 2023 11:31 AM (qoGsy)

146 I'd like my phone ringtone to say in Nicole Kidman's Aussie accent, "You were so great last night, Wolfus."
Posted by: Wolfus Aurelius, Dreaming of Elsewhere at May 01, 2023 11:26 AM (J2vNu)

You can change Siri to have an Australian accent which I've done.

Posted by: polynikes at May 01, 2023 11:31 AM (MyyMo)

147 >>the best part is when you IT doesn't tell you where the power bi is, just the individual report, so you have to trace the breadcrumb trail to find the origin

The annoying part is that these yabos think MOAR graphs , MOAR dashboards and MOAR DATAAAAA!!!! is better than three or four concise relevant data points.

Knowing the warehouse reserve and backlog literally does nothing to help me, I do not care about those dimensions and yet it appears on every report.
Posted by: Thomas Bender at May 01, 2023 11:27 AM (up/3i)

yeah, considering they STILL haven't figured out how to get the machine to recognize WHAT is installed on it, and when, and how many hours, trying to tell me it's performance doesn't do me a lot of good, since i have to spend days to months trying to validate the data they used for the chart... -_-

Posted by: SturmToddler at May 01, 2023 11:32 AM (Mkvkw)

148 Bloody Alec Baldwin Seen on Set of Embattled “Rust” Film
-------------
Yeah. Manslaughterer just moved it to a different state.

Posted by: andycanuck (Vwz3I) at May 01, 2023 11:32 AM (Vwz3I)

149 I've spent the last two weeks struggling with the fucking vendor questionnaires for a new customer who happens to be a Fed defense contractor. Most of it is DIE bullshit, but also ITAR and other stuff. Half of the questionnaires are onscreen fillable forms, the rest (including the largest form) don't have fillable boxes for your answers, so you have to print out the whole form, fill it in manually, then scan it. And since nothing on the form is explained well, you can be sure that you'll make a mistake, which prompts the upload system to reject the whole form and requires you to start over.

Best part is, all of the pdfs are save-protected. You CAN'T fill them in and save them, even under a different name. They all have to be printed out and scanned so that they can be submitted. FML

Wow, that brings back memories. The government never changes, they don't have to.

Posted by: Archimedes at May 01, 2023 11:32 AM (eOEVl)

150 Speaking of computer stuff...
I want to reprogram my Garmin navigation system with the voice of the Mandalorian. Then every time I make the proper turn while following directions, it says "This is the way."
Posted by: Bob at NSA at May 01, 2023

***
I'd like my phone ringtone to say in Nicole Kidman's Aussie accent, "You were so great last night, Wolfus."
Posted by: Wolfus Aurelius, Dreaming of Elsewhere at May 01, 2023 11:26 AM (J2vNu)
***

SNL, clever fellow that he is, had the Wicker Witch of the West as his MNL's ringtone.
Until the MNL heard it.

Posted by: Diogenes at May 01, 2023 11:32 AM (anj39)

151 Use Latin disease etc. names with numbers for your password/s!
Posted by: andycanuck

Biggus Dickus Trickle2?

Posted by: Tonypete at May 01, 2023 11:32 AM (qoGsy)

152 A lot of goldfinches outside my office window today.
-------------
But the robins are rather late this season.

Posted by: andycanuck (Vwz3I) at May 01, 2023 11:33 AM (Vwz3I)

153 You can change Siri to have an Australian accent which I've done.
Posted by: polynikes at May 01, 2023

***
Yeah, but I've got an Android phone.

That's okay. My imagination works just fine.

Posted by: Wolfus Aurelius, Dreaming of Elsewhere at May 01, 2023 11:33 AM (J2vNu)

154 "Folks, I was made an honorary Muslim while in high school, by the head Ayatollah for all US Muslims, who lived next door. No joke!"
Posted by: Gref at May 01, 2023 11:30 AM (AMIL/)

"And they gave me a towel for my head"

Posted by: JoeF. at May 01, 2023 11:33 AM (mR6Gs)

155 I always picture the person answering the IT helpline looks like this.

https://tinyurl.com/s99bpmhc

Posted by: Maj. Healey at May 01, 2023 11:33 AM (N5C4b)

156 Posted by: Archimedes at May 01, 2023 11:28 AM

If I didn't how would I know what the new thread is about,?

Posted by: Skip at May 01, 2023 11:33 AM (LFvGS)

157 President Biden has announced he will run for a second term in 2024. Peter Schiff recently appeared on the Ingraham Angle on Fox News to talk about what will happen if we keep going down the Biden road. In a nutshell, Peter said we can’t afford to let Biden “finish the job.”

Posted by: SMOD at May 01, 2023 11:35 AM (RHGPo)

158 I've spent the last two weeks struggling with the fucking vendor questionnaires for a new customer who happens to be a Fed defense contractor. Most of it is DIE bullshit, but also ITAR and other stuff. Half of the questionnaires are onscreen fillable forms, the rest (including the largest form) don't have fillable boxes for your answers, so you have to print out the whole form, fill it in manually, then scan it. And since nothing on the form is explained well, you can be sure that you'll make a mistake, which prompts the upload system to reject the whole form and requires you to start over.

Best part is, all of the pdfs are save-protected. You CAN'T fill them in and save them, even under a different name. They all have to be printed out and scanned so that they can be submitted. FML ...
Posted by: Archimedes at May 01, 2023 11:32 AM (eOEVl)
++++
See? I designed a perfect system!

Posted by: Sociopath at May 01, 2023 11:35 AM (t0OGg)

159 The bane of websites are the IT hires who keep changing the layouts and categories. They have to justify their salaries by messing with perfectly good sites.

Posted by: Margaret at May 01, 2023 11:35 AM (l8gHZ)

160 I used a keyboard pattern. I worked from "Z" up to "1" and then repeated the process the next column over.

Hah. That's almost exactly what I do except that I hold the shift down for half the pattern so that I get a special char. When I run out of columns, I go to squares starting on the top row of letters so I get two letters shifted an unshifted, two digits, and two specials.

Posted by: Oddbob at May 01, 2023 11:36 AM (nfrXX)

161 >Windows 11 does that sh#t. If I pick up my keyboard it logs me out and I have to log back in with a fricking pass word.
Posted by: vic at May 01, 2023 11:06 AM (mMi2k)

You can shorten it down to a pin number.

I have one home pin and one work pin. Every password, long and unique to the app, are tied to those pins, for better or worse.

Posted by: BourbonChicken at May 01, 2023 11:36 AM (44ww/)

162 141 Get ready for President Low Energy to make another lying claim this afternoon, about he and Islam while growing up.

He will host a reception at the White House to celebrate Eid al-Fitr, the end of Ramadan.

"Folks, I was made an honorary Muslim while in high school, by the head Ayatollah for all US Muslims, who lived next door. No joke!"
Posted by: Gref at May 01, 2023 11:30 AM
Not authentic. Not like ubama.

Posted by: Eromero at May 01, 2023 11:36 AM (Uv0D2)

163 The corporate workplace would be so much more efficient if corporate executives could start learning to say “No” to the software industrial complex.
________

It goes deeper than that, and further back than the rise of software. Anyone else ever read the book Rules of the Game by Andrew Gordon (about the battle of Jutland, but also much more.)

When I started to mention, to my father, the appalling effect upper management seems always to have, he said it was always thus. Is there any office where the worker bees don't groan when they hear something is coming "from corporate"? There is something about the managerial mind that causes it to fall for every con that comes down the pike.

Posted by: Eeyore at May 01, 2023 11:36 AM (TgBWG)

164 I always picture the person answering the IT helpline looks like this.

https://tinyurl.com/s99bpmhc
Posted by: Maj. Healey at May 01, 2023

***
Looks something like my fifth-grade teacher. She wasn't mean, but she was one of the homeliest women I've ever run across.

Posted by: Wolfus Aurelius, Dreaming of Elsewhere at May 01, 2023 11:36 AM (J2vNu)

165 "Even worse is when “task status” software requires daily essays on what is keeping you from getting tasks done, what you’ve learned from overcoming obstacles on this task, etc"

That's when you write a boilerplate answer in a text document and just copy and paste it into whatever field requires the essay.

You start the essay with "I was unable to do any productive work today because I had to write an essay about why I wasn't getting any productive work done and post it here." You continue with an indictment of the useless time wasting that the use SaaS programs causes.

And you can do that, and post it, secure in the knowledge that you will never get fired for it, ~because no one will ever read it~.

Posted by: FeatherBlade at May 01, 2023 11:36 AM (ou9hh)

166 Curse 2fa all you want until your shit gets hacked, deleted and/or destroyed because you used an email and pw that were on a release list.

Posted by: ... at May 01, 2023 11:37 AM (8KAQe)

167 I once had the combination to the company vault back in the day when mainframes had removable disk packs, which I used like once or twice a year. I wrote it on the bottom of my desk after pulling out the center drawer so you had to lay on the floor to see it.

Posted by: G'rump928(c) at May 01, 2023 11:37 AM (aD39U)

168 Our development process in the early 00s was the Rational Unified Process, which was basically a documentation-heavy, anti-Agile process. I was getting dinged by the reporting because my document farm wasn't fully populated, so I asked one of the fast-track managers how he managed to stay on top of things.

"It's easy - I upload the templates. Nobody ever checks, the reports show 100%, and we complete them when (and if) it makes sense!"

Which is why I wasn't a fast-tracker...

Posted by: Obelisktoucher at May 01, 2023 11:38 AM (iYtLd)

169 Hiya

Posted by: JT at May 01, 2023 11:39 AM (T4tVD)

170 Mitt Romney
45s

On behalf of the wonderful people of the Most Beautiful State in the Union, I would like to extend to our Mohammedan friends a Happy and Joyous Eid al-Fitr and warm wishes for the new year.
Many people of the Mohammedan faith have made their homes in Utah and i just want to say that they have served their country well and they are the salt of the earth,
Now excise me while I take my leave to chair a committee.

Posted by: JoeF. at May 01, 2023 11:39 AM (mR6Gs)

171 Best part is, all of the pdfs are save-protected. You CAN'T fill them in and save them, even under a different name. They all have to be printed out and scanned so that they can be submitted. FML ...
Posted by: Archimedes

For a time, JPMorgan had a system to enter system access trouble tickets into that could only be accessed by logging into an online application.

Annnnnd, it was a violation of privacy rules to have another employee log your ticket in for you.

Genius Motherf**kers! Pretty tight little circle you've defined there Sport.

Posted by: Tonypete at May 01, 2023 11:39 AM (qoGsy)

172 Lightfoot shows they mean the illegal invasion is for you to suffer not them who want illegals into the country.

Posted by: Skip at May 01, 2023 11:40 AM (LFvGS)

173 So there's a recognized, actual phenomenon and it's not just my imagination?

My most recent job required very little computer involvement to do excellent work. I used physical textbooks and a paper grade book, graded student work myself, and wrote my own tests. But over the 14 years I worked there, more and more of the instructors' energy and time was commandeered by these "helpful" technologies. One of the most helpful things among colleagues was teaching each other (and our students!) workarounds for glitches in the system.

Anyway, nearly 100% of the impact of the technology on student learning was negative.

Posted by: Emmie at May 01, 2023 11:40 AM (Emce2)

174 I hate the current software environment but we spent a lot of time doing things like hand written transcripts of every phone call back in the before times.

Not totally unproductive but mostly.

Posted by: TexasDan at May 01, 2023 11:40 AM (z9npv)

175 Mmmmm…Nichole Kidman…mmmmmmm…

Posted by: Bulgaroctonus at May 01, 2023 11:40 AM (ARisI)

176 I always enjoy when the computer makes a noise and I have no idea what it means. Then I have to toggle through all the shit that is open to see what the computer wants. And then I can't figure out what made the noise.

Posted by: Pudinhead at May 01, 2023 11:40 AM (bGkHK)

177 Look Idk v much about computers. I quit the law because of billing requirements years ago. Hard to believe this stuff is worse now (not really).

But isn't this all just overuse of the internet?

How many employees need a connected computer? To things outside the physical plant?

Posted by: Thesokorus at May 01, 2023 11:41 AM (zGM/v)

178 "Folks, I was made an honorary Muslim while in high school, by the head Ayatollah for all US Muslims, who lived next door. No joke!"
Posted by: Gref at May 01, 2023 11:30 AM
Not authentic. Not like ubama.
Posted by: Eromero at May 01, 2023 11:36 AM (Uv0D2)

"Now Obama, he was a true Mohammedan, the real deal. No joke, my word as a Biden."

Posted by: JoeF. at May 01, 2023 11:41 AM (mR6Gs)

179 I always enjoy when the computer makes a noise and I have no idea what it means. Then I have to toggle through all the shit that is open to see what the computer wants. And then I can't figure out what made the noise.

Posted by: Pudinhead at May 01, 2023 11:40 AM (bGkHK)

Marriage prepares you for this

Posted by: ... at May 01, 2023 11:41 AM (PZnH4)

180 pulling out the center drawer so you had to lay on the floor to see it.
-------------------
So... an Agile process.

Posted by: Obelisktoucher at May 01, 2023 11:41 AM (iYtLd)

181 She wasn't mean, but she was one of the homeliest women I've ever run across.
Posted by: Wolfus Aurelius

Oddly enough, she frequented the bars right before closing time.

*Oh, I wouldn't call it a 'date' date."

Posted by: Tonypete at May 01, 2023 11:42 AM (qoGsy)

182 @71 Most software, of any kind, went to shit when someone suggested "new features" that had nothing to do with the core functionality. "

I submit software went to crap when object-oriented programming combined with software generation tools came about. Dragging and dropping little icons that represented functions and processing replaced a person actually writing a program. A function that could be written in a few lines of code was instead generated from some development tool that produced 300 lines to accomplish the same thing, and often included multiple unnecessary file and/or database reads or updates, making it run like a slug.

I guess I'm supposed to now say "Change my mind."

Posted by: George V at May 01, 2023 11:42 AM (ugbqN)

183 I have an O/T question:

I was reading the daily mail article about Hunter Biden going to court for child support. The article talked about him showing up to court with a 5 car motorcade. My question is who pays for his 5 car motorcade? It's so weird and ostentatious.

Posted by: Chillin the most at May 01, 2023 11:43 AM (0uQp2)

184 Subscription software was just beginning to appear in my little niche of the oil patch when retirement overtook me. Glad to have never had a part of it. And how much is data security compromised, if at all has to work though the cloud?

Posted by: Alberta Oil Peon at May 01, 2023 11:43 AM (tkR6S)

185 pulling out the center drawer so you had to lay on the floor to see it.

I thought that is what hot secretaries were for.

Posted by: Maj. Healey at May 01, 2023 11:43 AM (N5C4b)

186 182 @71 Most software, of any kind, went to shit when someone suggested "new features" that had nothing to do with the core functionality. "

I submit software went to crap when object-oriented programming combined with software generation tools came about. Dragging and dropping little icons that represented functions and processing replaced a person actually writing a program. A function that could be written in a few lines of code was instead generated from some development tool that produced 300 lines to accomplish the same thing, and often included multiple unnecessary file and/or database reads or updates, making it run like a slug.

I guess I'm supposed to now say "Change my mind."
Posted by: George V at May 01, 2023 11:42 AM (ugbqN)

As a consequence most stuff is terribly optimized, but how is it that this inefficiency is scaling faster than processing power?

Posted by: Red Turban Someguy - The Republic is already dead! at May 01, 2023 11:43 AM (eYoxG)

187 This leggy blonde got so fed up with software-related dysfunction that she quit her job:
https://is.gd/bbGDMX

Posted by: Joe Mannix (Not a cop!) at May 01, 2023 11:44 AM (t0OGg)

188 https://tinyurl.com/s99bpmhc
Posted by: Maj. Healey at May 01, 2023

Ah the "Navy Chief" lesbian. Very large ankles.

Posted by: Thesokorus at May 01, 2023 11:44 AM (zGM/v)

189 By contrast my fifth grade teacher was reasonably hawt

Posted by: No 6 at May 01, 2023 11:44 AM (YmfYR)

190 You can change Siri to have an Australian accent which I've done.
Posted by: polynikes at May 01, 2023 11:31 AM (MyyMo)

Yup...

Posted by: browndog Official Mascot of Team Gizzard at May 01, 2023 11:44 AM (CCSxw)

191 The safest system is one that cannot be used.

You have been logged out for your protection.
YOU ARE NOW PROTECTED.
Posted by: SMOD at May 01, 2023 11:31 AM (RHGPo)

Now you're talking

Posted by: Boeing 737 MAX software team at May 01, 2023 11:45 AM (z9npv)

192 Windy out thar.....

Posted by: JT at May 01, 2023 11:45 AM (T4tVD)

193 The people I don't get are the ones who refuse to eat seaweed unless it's sodium-free. It defeats its own purpose.

Posted by: gp's Rapid Unscheduled Disassembly at May 01, 2023 11:45 AM (MvF+J)

194 I have deleted OneDrive but it made off with 5 gig worth of data (enough to fill the available free cloud storage) and I haven't been able to figure out where to delete it.

You should be able to find it all at onedrive.live.com. You'll need to sign in with your MS account.

Posted by: Halfhand at May 01, 2023 11:45 AM (oma9r)

195 When I started out as an insurance claims adjuster almost everything was still manually tracked. Corresponding was done by physical mail or phone calls. Even fax correspondence was minimal. You were out on the road 80% of the time investigating and doing face to face meetings. You could prioritize your tasks and responses and do it on your time schedule . The profession was completely turned on its head when everything became electronically tracked and communication was instantaneous. It became a clerks job that sat in a cubicle contracting out all the outside work an adjuster used to do and making impersonal decisions like a drone. If went from a male dominated profession to female.

Posted by: polynikes at May 01, 2023 11:46 AM (MyyMo)

196 Subscription software was just beginning to appear in my little niche of the oil patch when retirement overtook me. Glad to have never had a part of it. And how much is data security compromised, if at all has to work though the cloud?
Posted by: Alberta Oil Peon at May 01, 2023 11:43 AM (tkR6S)
++++
It's all good. Trust me. We're fully compliance with all industry standards and work tirelessly to exceed them in all dimensions. We take customer data security extremely seriously and as a result we've found that in most situations, we're a more-secure option than doing it yourself because of our deep expertise and operations capability.

Posted by: SaaS Vendor at May 01, 2023 11:46 AM (t0OGg)

197 Our SSO stuff works great, but then we can afford to pay enough people enough money to make it great, considering that we haul in a couple hundred million a year.

On the opposite end of the spectrum, doing defense contractor work was fucking horrible in basically every way. Instead, now I do unimportant (but profitable) bullshit for 5x the pay, and have 20x the productivity.

Most the the productivity and time sapping nonsense is an attempt to reduce work for executives that don't actually have real skillsets.

Posted by: somedood at May 01, 2023 11:46 AM (QBv/U)

198 >The show must go on!

Bloody Alec Baldwin Seen on Set of Embattled “Rust” Film

Posted by: Anonosaurus Wrecks

well, he's ready to shoot again

Posted by: DB - smashing with hammer at May 01, 2023 11:46 AM (geLO8)

199 As a consequence most stuff is terribly optimized, but how is it that this inefficiency is scaling faster than processing power?
Posted by: Red Turban Someguy - The Republic is already dead! at May 01, 2023 11:43 AM (eYoxG)

It's a death match between Moore's Law and SomeMore's Law...

Posted by: Obelisktoucher at May 01, 2023 11:47 AM (iYtLd)

200 Joe Biden still has a year and a half left to transition to a transwoman, therefore becoming the first woman POTUS.

Posted by: SMOD at May 01, 2023 11:47 AM (RHGPo)

201 My question is who pays for his 5 car motorcade? It's so weird and ostentatious.
Posted by: Chillin the most at May 01, 2023 11:43 AM

Got a mirror?

Posted by: RedMindBlueState at May 01, 2023 11:49 AM (KkFZv)

202 This has nothing to do with SaaS or passwords, but I did experience computer problems while working for Walden books back in th '80s and '90s. First off, we all figured that Wardens computer system was built on Trash 80s, which was bad enough. But I frequently got stuck training kids fresh out of high school or working part time to earn college money. Practically the first thing I told them was to never, never believe any data generated by the computer. It usually took five or six failures before these kids believed me. They were used to computers that functioned properly, and would simply go to Wardens computer for information. It's really sad when you have to train new employees not to use the company's computer.

Posted by: Captain Josepha Sabin -- I wasn't particularly fond of the '70s the first time around at May 01, 2023 11:49 AM (7w8So)

203 End Wokeness @EndWokeness · Apr 29
Things have gotten so bad that even the chocolates and candy are locked up

Walgreens in Brooklyn via @ViralNewsNYC

Posted by: andycanuck (Vwz3I) at May 01, 2023 11:49 AM (Vwz3I)

204 As a random note, with the mention of people using Google Docs for work;

Never ever ever ever use Google Docs for anything work related. Ever. Well, don't use it for personal shit either, but ESPECIALLY do not use it for anything work related that requires confidentiality.

It's not secure (even to the extent it's intended to be, seeing as how Google rummages in there a they please), it's buggy, and it's unreliable. Google itself had to stop using it internally.

Posted by: somedood at May 01, 2023 11:49 AM (QBv/U)

205 Can someone figure out how to make my 5 different emails and 8 different other notification streams come to a single point on my phone. Kind of like the opposite of a wuph

Posted by: Lemmiwinks at May 01, 2023 11:50 AM (DUjlK)

206
Are You A Robot?
1:23
https://tinyurl.com/576rnmup

have a chuckle

Posted by: DB - smashing with hammer at May 01, 2023 11:50 AM (geLO8)

207 198
'well, he's ready to shoot again'

Hahahaha!

Posted by: Dr. Claw at May 01, 2023 11:50 AM (qVln6)

208 You should be able to find it all at onedrive.live.com. You'll need to sign in with your MS account.

Thanks, I will check there.

Posted by: Diesel Jones, Biologist at May 01, 2023 11:51 AM (Vu7A1)

209 I was reading the daily mail article about Hunter Biden going to court for child support. The article talked about him showing up to court with a 5 car motorcade. My question is who pays for his 5 car motorcade? It's so weird and ostentatious.
Posted by: Chillin the most at May 01, 2023 11:43 AM (0uQp2)

I just walked down to the courthouse and it didn't look like a 5-car motorcade to me. A couple of your typical nondescript black vehicles, but the media folks and local onlookers had them pretty heavily outnumbered.

Posted by: Dr. T at May 01, 2023 11:51 AM (0EnJo)

210 "As a consequence most stuff is terribly optimized, but how is it that this inefficiency is scaling faster than processing power?
Posted by: Red Turban Someguy - The Republic is already dead! at May 01, 2023 11:43 AM (eYoxG)"

Optimization doesn't even fit into the picture. The Indian subcontinent is steadily destroying software all over the world and the only (highly suspect) ray of hope on that front is AI.

Of all of the sins of the British Emptire, the worst will end up to be teaching English over there.

Posted by: somedood at May 01, 2023 11:52 AM (QBv/U)

211 "Object-Oriented" programming is just made-up bullshit that some idiot software engineering student pulled out of his/her ass for their doctorate degree. It's just giving standard concepts a new nifty name, but much more convoluted, confusing, and opaque. A complete waste of time and energy. The worst possible example of this idiocy is UVM (universal verification methodology).

Posted by: Angzarr the Cromulent at May 01, 2023 11:52 AM (XMwZJ)

212 If you're not using SSO for SaaS, your IT department is doing it wrong.

Here's the appeal to authority - I'm a Microsoft Azure Identity Enginieer.

SaaS should be Modern Auth, and passwordless to the SaaS vendor.

Posted by: rudytbone at May 01, 2023 11:52 AM (aS3dr)

213 Kamala's writer must be moonlighting:

RNC Research @RNCResearch · 22h
A new definition of "secure border" just dropped:

"What's the definition of a secure border to you?"

Alejandro Mayorkas: "It is maximizing the resources that we have available to us to deliver the most effective results"

Posted by: andycanuck (Vwz3I) at May 01, 2023 11:52 AM (Vwz3I)

214 have a chuckle
Posted by: DB - smashing with hammer at May 01, 2023 11:50 AM (geLO

++++
Ah, yes. The joys of the Reverse Turing Tests we all have to undergo with regularity.

Posted by: Joe Mannix (Not a cop!) at May 01, 2023 11:52 AM (t0OGg)

215 https://is.gd/bbGDMX

She's only has four toes on her left foot. She must be rejected.

Posted by: polynikes at May 01, 2023 11:53 AM (MyyMo)

216 This leggy blonde got so fed up with software-related dysfunction that she quit her job:
https://is.gd/bbGDMX

Posted by: Joe Mannix (Not a cop!) at May 01, 2023 11:44 AM (t0OGg)

----------

She looks like she could have been in the "Steele Dossier."

"In Soviet America, hooker entrap YOU!"

Posted by: ShainS -- The Abolition of The West is from Men Without Chests at May 01, 2023 11:53 AM (Ocngb)

217 @186 182 I submit software went to crap when object-oriented programming combined with software generation tools came about. ... making it run like a slug...
Posted by: George V at May 01, 2023 11:42 AM

As a consequence most stuff is terribly optimized, but how is it that this inefficiency is scaling faster than processing power?

It's more than processing - it affects I/O and memory utilization. While it's possible to enhance the I/O subsystems (hey lets's replace all the disk with SSD!) and add memory (which can also add some processor load) why do that when the program can just be written better in the first place?

Posted by: George V at May 01, 2023 11:53 AM (ugbqN)

218 >The show must go on!

Bloody Alec Baldwin Seen on Set of Embattled “Rust” Film

Posted by: Anonosaurus Wrecks

well, he's ready to shoot again
Posted by: DB - smashing with hammer at May 01, 2023 11:46 AM (geLO

IT'S FUNNY BECAUSE IT'S A PLAY ON WORDS.

Posted by: BEN ROETHLISBERGER at May 01, 2023 11:53 AM (0EnJo)

219 I always liked Vista and Clippy!

Good times, good times...

Posted by: Hairyback Guy at May 01, 2023 11:53 AM (kJurx)

220 I also used to enjoy when the corporate IT dicks would come to me with their condescending little sneers and 'IT-splain' an enterprise-wide, corporate application that I and three other guys developed.

Dude, that name in the splash screen is mine so I'm aware how this shit works, it's your administration of the domain and security that is fucking everything up!

Posted by: Dr. Bone at May 01, 2023 11:53 AM (KVGVf)

221 Of all of the sins of the British Emptire, the worst will end up to be teaching English over there.
Posted by: somedood at May 01, 2023 11:52 AM (QBv/U)
++++
I put the blame where I think it actually lies: on American (and to a lesser degree British) executives.

Posted by: Joe Mannix (Not a cop!) at May 01, 2023 11:54 AM (t0OGg)

222 Anyone know how to stop this?
Posted by: Diesel Jones, Biologist at May 01, 2023 11:16 AM (Vu7A1)

Shitcan Windows, install Linux.

Posted by: Alberta Oil Peon at May 01, 2023 11:54 AM (tkR6S)

223 SAS is so obnoxious.

I need to have Adobe Acrobat for my personal work. Back in the Dark Ages, I purchased a copy of Adobe Acrobat, which worked perfectly fine.

Then Apple finally got around to making 32 bit programs unusable, and I found that the only option I had was to pay a monthly fee to get the 64 bit version of Adobe Acrobat.

Sucks.

Posted by: The ARC of History! at May 01, 2023 11:54 AM (2tUFv)

224 Bernie Sanders: Confiscate Wealth Above $1 Billion — ‘I Think People Can Make It on $999 Million’

Vermont’s richest man, says Forbes, is John Abele, who founded the medical device company Boston Scientific and has an estimated net worth of $640 million.

Posted by: SMOD at May 01, 2023 11:54 AM (RHGPo)

225 > My question is who pays for his 5 car motorcade?
Posted by: Chillin the most

Us.

Posted by: DB - smashing with hammer at May 01, 2023 11:54 AM (geLO8)

226 "It is maximizing the resources that we have available to us to deliver the most effective results"

____

We will use synergies derived from efficiency optimization to generate optimal results that will increase efficiency and production.

Posted by: Montec at May 01, 2023 11:54 AM (OalnH)

227 Disclaimer: I stole the 'ready to shoot again' line

but it's still good, I think

Posted by: DB - smashing with hammer at May 01, 2023 11:55 AM (geLO8)

228 It's more than processing - it affects I/O and memory utilization. While it's possible to enhance the I/O subsystems (hey lets's replace all the disk with SSD!) and add memory (which can also add some processor load) why do that when the program can just be written better in the first place?
Posted by: George V at May 01, 2023 11:53 AM (ugbqN)
++++
Writing highly-optimized software is expensive and difficult.
Buying faster computers and storage is cheap and easy (exomparatively).

Posted by: Joe Mannix (Not a cop!) at May 01, 2023 11:55 AM (t0OGg)

229 999 million? That doesn't even buy a pro sports team anymore. How can these people possibly survive on that?

Posted by: Montec at May 01, 2023 11:55 AM (OalnH)

230 188 https://tinyurl.com/s99bpmhc
Posted by: Maj. Healey at May 01, 2023

Ah the "Navy Chief" lesbian. Very large ankles.
Posted by: Thesokorus at May 01, 2023 11:44 AM
She didn't teach the first Sexual Harassment class I ever 'attended', that class was taught by a very fit and pretty YN1 who winked a lot, nudge nudge, you guys. But I swear every class afterward was 'taught' by Maj. Healey's ogre. I retired in 96 before it got so bad.

Posted by: Eromero at May 01, 2023 11:56 AM (Uv0D2)

231 The most efficient code ever written was DOOM.

It's been ported over to every platform imaginable. I think my toaster can run it.

Posted by: Martini Farmer at May 01, 2023 11:56 AM (Q4IgG)

232 "My solution for all the passwords required on 'Net sites: a capitalized made-up word from obscure science fiction; a digit repeated twice; an "at" sign; and a 2-3 letter abbreviation for the site in question"

I like taking a random phrase from a Greek or Latin text and replacing some of the vowels with numbers.

Posted by: FeatherBlade at May 01, 2023 11:56 AM (ou9hh)

233 "Writing highly-optimized software is expensive and difficult."

And software lifecycles are short. No sense gilding the lily if it's going to get ash-canned in a year.

I'm just grateful that software that works correctly. Optimization is way down the list of considerations.

Posted by: gp's Rapid Unscheduled Disassembly at May 01, 2023 11:57 AM (MvF+J)

234 Bernie Sanders: Confiscate Wealth Above $1 Billion — ‘I Think People Can Make It on $999 Million’ ...
Posted by: SMOD at May 01, 2023 11:54 AM (RHGPo)
++++
:: 'transfers {net wealth personally held} - 999,000,000' to a family trust masquerading as a 501(c)(3), cuts in a government agent for a hundred grand, moves along ::

Total taxes raised: $0

Posted by: Joe Mannix (Not a cop!) at May 01, 2023 11:57 AM (t0OGg)

235 Bernie Sanders: Confiscate Wealth Above $1 Billion — ‘I Think People Can Make It on $999 Million’

Bernie hasn't thought about the incentives this creates, has he?

How well did confiscatory death taxes work out?

Oh wait - Bernie doesn't believe in incentives.

Posted by: The ARC of History! at May 01, 2023 11:58 AM (2tUFv)

236 This leggy blonde got so fed up with software-related dysfunction that she quit her job:
https://is.gd/bbGDMX

Posted by: Joe Mannix (Not a cop!) at May 01, 2023 11:44 AM (t0OGg)

Just a guess, but I'm thinking more than $20.

Posted by: Diogenes at May 01, 2023 11:58 AM (anj39)

237 231 The most efficient code ever written was DOOM.

It's been ported over to every platform imaginable. I think my toaster can run it.
Posted by: Martini Farmer at May 01, 2023 11:56 AM (Q4IgG)

=======

New DOOM is less efficient, but the punching of demons in the face is more satisfying.

It's a tradeoff.

Posted by: TheJamesMadison, being witty and sophisticated with Ernst Lubitsch at May 01, 2023 11:58 AM (cD1dp)

238 I use addresses for my passwords. Random addresses from a childhood home or a place I worked or whatever. It's a good combo of letters/numbers and easy to remember.

Posted by: Montec at May 01, 2023 11:58 AM (OalnH)

239 "Alejandro Mayorkas: "It is maximizing the resources that we have available to us to deliver the most effective results"

He speaks like a corporate drone.

Posted by: FeatherBlade at May 01, 2023 11:58 AM (ou9hh)

240 Humm. Whenever Joe & neocon supporters tag on to something that initially seems random together, it's not.

Not just Ukraine but maybe some currently vague idea of bringing the Turkish cleric out of exile in PA & giving the Kurds their homeland among Iraq, Turkey and Syria.

Posted by: Lola - ALL the 1/6 videotapes of Alexandra and Jade, too. at May 01, 2023 11:58 AM (GshMh)

241 157 President Biden has announced he will run for a second term in 2024. Peter Schiff recently appeared on the Ingraham Angle on Fox News to talk about what will happen if we keep going down the Biden road. In a nutshell, Peter said we can’t afford to let Biden “finish the job.”

Posted by: SMOD at May 01, 2023 11:35 AM (RHGPo)

During the campaign, Joe will sometimes sound like he is moving towards the center from his current ultra-left behavior. It will be a lie, of course, to keep traditional Democrats on the plantation and attract independents. If he is reelected, the day after the election he will announce new ultra-Leftist policies and edicts. Joe wants his legacy to be, "The Most Progressive President in History!" So he can outshine Obama and get Democrats to call FDR a piker by comparison.

If he wins in'24, he will also fully unleash the dogs of the FBI, DoJ, CIA, IRS, and the rest of the Deep State on his enemies. He will no longer have to worry about reelection. Ugh.

Posted by: Gref at May 01, 2023 11:58 AM (AMIL/)

242 Bernie Sanders: Confiscate Wealth Above $1 Billion — ‘I Think People Can Make It on $999 Million

Just like a useful idiot Commie . If you can't make as much money as possible what is the motivation for these free enterprise billionaires to continue to create. Musk doesn't do it just for fun. Yes capitalism creates some undeserving rich people but it's better than any alternative.

Posted by: polynikes at May 01, 2023 11:59 AM (MyyMo)

243 I'm just grateful that software that works correctly. Optimization is way down the list of considerations.
Posted by: gp's Rapid Unscheduled Disassembly at May 01, 2023 11:57 AM (MvF+J)
++++
It often doesn't work correctly. It can usually be made to work well enough to survive if there enough people with enough talent to keep the plates spinning up the little sticks suspending them.

Without those people, I suspect most online services - and probably the internet itself - would fail within a week or ten days.

Posted by: Joe Mannix (Not a cop!) at May 01, 2023 11:59 AM (t0OGg)

244 I say fine tax billionaires. I'm done fighting to preserve Zuckerberg's wealth. Have at it Bernie. It will never happen of course, but I don't give a fuck either way.

Posted by: Montec at May 01, 2023 11:59 AM (OalnH)

245 "Bernie Sanders: Confiscate Wealth Above $1 Billion — ‘I Think People Can Make It on $999 Million"

I think rich people can move out of the USA and tell Bernie to pound sand.

Posted by: gp's Rapid Unscheduled Disassembly at May 01, 2023 12:00 PM (MvF+J)

246 Full Frontal NOODITY!!

Posted by: Roland HTG at May 01, 2023 12:00 PM (j40lz)

247 have a chuckle
Posted by: DB - smashing with hammer at May 01, 2023 11:50 AM (geLO

I would like to convince both of them at the same time that I am not a robot.

Posted by: anchorbabe fashion cop at May 01, 2023 12:00 PM (ufFY8)

248 :: 'transfers {net wealth personally held} - 999,000,000' to a family trust masquerading as a 501(c)(3), cuts in a government agent for a hundred grand, moves along ::

Similar to the proposals that traffic tickets be scaled to people's income, so rich people pay far more for a moving violation.

A lot of teenage children are going to be owning the family cars if anyone is dumb enough to try this.

Posted by: The ARC of History! at May 01, 2023 12:00 PM (2tUFv)

249 "It often doesn't work correctly."

Tell me about it

Posted by: gp's Rapid Unscheduled Disassembly at May 01, 2023 12:01 PM (MvF+J)

250 Just like a useful idiot Commie . If you can't make as much money as possible what is the motivation for these free enterprise billionaires to continue to create. Musk doesn't do it just for fun. Yes capitalism creates some undeserving rich people but it's better than any alternative.
Posted by: polynikes at May 01, 2023 11:59 AM (MyyMo)

___

This is true up to a point. If nobody could make more than $50K a year, nobody would become a doctor. But at some point, it's no longer about the money. I'm pretty sure Musk would have done everything the same way had his cap of personal wealth been $1B.

Posted by: Montec at May 01, 2023 12:01 PM (OalnH)

251 It's been ported over to every platform imaginable.

Doom runs in Windows Notepad.

https://tinyurl.com/5v6bmm8h

Posted by: Diesel Jones, Biologist at May 01, 2023 12:01 PM (Vu7A1)

252 The whole fu*king administration is commie. I see they snuck in a mortgage redistribution plan so that people with good credit scores can play more on their mortgage to underwrite loans for those with shitty scores.
Fu*k that!!!

Posted by: Diogenes at May 01, 2023 12:01 PM (anj39)

253 Writing highly-optimized software is expensive and difficult.

It also requires much smaller teams and *gasp!* much smaller bureaucracy.

Posted by: t-bird at May 01, 2023 12:02 PM (CaJIi)

254 The software industry is like the automobile industry. You can't just make a good program and be done with it, you have to come out with new versions so people keep buying it over and over.

Posted by: BeckoningChasm at May 01, 2023 12:02 PM (p+1gI)

255 Pluses: your password becomes 'top of mind' by having to type it in all the time
Minuses: don't get to familiar with your password as you'll need to change it every month

Cure for part of it in a corporate windows environment:
MoveMouse

They make rope for corporate Admins with a death wish!

Posted by: micky at May 01, 2023 12:02 PM (3byMq)

256 Posted by: Montec at May 01, 2023 12:01 PM (OalnH)

He wouldn't have bought Twitter or started Space X.

Posted by: polynikes at May 01, 2023 12:02 PM (MyyMo)

257 *too (a degree)

Posted by: micky at May 01, 2023 12:03 PM (3byMq)

258 254 The software industry is like the automobile industry. You can't just make a good program and be done with it, you have to come out with new versions so people keep buying it over and over.
Posted by: BeckoningChasm at May 01, 2023 12:02 PM (p+1gI)

___

Shut up man. Shut the fuck up!!
- iPhone 14

Posted by: Montec at May 01, 2023 12:03 PM (OalnH)

259 nood

Posted by: gp's Rapid Unscheduled Disassembly at May 01, 2023 12:03 PM (MvF+J)

260 211 "Object-Oriented" programming is just made-up bullshit that some idiot software engineering student pulled out of his/her ass for their doctorate degree. It's just giving standard concepts a new nifty name, but much more convoluted, confusing, and opaque. A complete waste of time and energy. The worst possible example of this idiocy is UVM (universal verification methodology).
Posted by: Angzarr the Cromulent at May 01, 2023 11:52 AM (XMwZJ)

Yep, code reuse was actually a really silly idea.

Posted by: Coder Who Likes Ctrl-C Ctrl-V at May 01, 2023 12:04 PM (MkuC5)

261 Nearly two years ago, an errant spark inside a mill caused an explosion so big it destroyed all the building’s equipment and blew a corrugated fiberglass wall 100 feet.
It also shut down the sole domestic source of an explosive the Department of Defense relies on to produce bullets, mortar shells, artillery rounds and Tomahawk missiles.
The ramshackle facility makes the original form of gunpowder, known today as black powder, a highly combustible material with hundreds of military applications. The product, for which there is no substitute, is used in small quantities in munitions to ignite more powerful explosives.
No one was hurt in the June 2021 blast. But the factory remains offline, unable to deliver its single vital component to either commercial or Pentagon customers.

Posted by: SMOD at May 01, 2023 12:04 PM (RHGPo)

262 Thank God most of my software, although out of date, operates from my computer and not "The Cloud."

Old Adobe, old Microsoft office, etc. No subscriptions, no internet needed. Everything is in the box next to me, although it's becoming increasingly hard to reload it when I change to a newer computer. I lost non-Cloud AutoCAD last time I got a better desktop, although it still works on my older system.

Posted by: MartynWW at May 01, 2023 12:04 PM (Ur3df)

263 No Sock No Sock!!

Posted by: CZ=FNG, Free Republic of Florida at May 01, 2023 12:05 PM (MkuC5)

264 He wouldn't have bought Twitter or started Space X.
Posted by: polynikes at May 01, 2023 12:02 PM (MyyMo)

__

Maybe, maybe not. I just think for people like Elon, it's not about the money anymore. Once someone is past say $100M net worth, the next $100M is not going to affect their life. What can't you do with $100M net worth that you can do with $10B net worth? There are only so many houses you can buy or sports cars you can own. But they have the drive to build things. They can't stand still for more than 5 seconds.

Like I said, I don't really care either way because something like a wealth cap will never happen. I just don't buy into the 2004 arguments anymore that taxing rich people will blow up the economy.

Posted by: Montec at May 01, 2023 12:06 PM (OalnH)

265 232 -- I was a history major. I simply combine dates and names. If I really have to exert myself, I add a $.

Posted by: Captain Josepha Sabin -- I wasn't particularly fond of the '70s the first time around at May 01, 2023 12:07 PM (7w8So)

266 They pretend they can't get their act together to tax those making more than $400K as O & especially Joe promised. It's just talk, talk for decades with the rich getting richer. Remember, Mika B. etc. loved PDT before they didn't.

The non-gov billionaires + pals, are the ones scrampering in & out of the White House, doing the entertaining; proposing many crazy climate plans and businesses; grabbing whatever more they can "legally" and directing the government how to to operate. And the legislative branch loves them, too.

Posted by: Lola - ALL the 1/6 videotapes of Alexandra and Jade, too. at May 01, 2023 12:11 PM (GshMh)

267 I work at Honeywell for about six months. I stated looking for a job about two weeks after starting there.

All the engineers did was try and figure another way around the impossible to understand, even when they were working, ways around the enterprise project tracking interfaces, dozens of them, that didn't work and none of them interfaced with each other. The worst thing is all the managements uses is metrics from these to make decisions.

Terrible decisions.

I was hired in a very large salary. After two weeks I realized they had no work for me. I spent six months on training overhead charge numbers.

Fucked up. Honeywell is a dinosaur but it' transferring stuff to China.

Posted by: pawn at May 01, 2023 12:12 PM (wsHtO)

268 I interviewed at Honeywell many moons ago.
I used to use interviews to scout out what was going on in my area. Sometimes, you left with a bunch of good ideas.

Posted by: SMOD at May 01, 2023 12:20 PM (RHGPo)

269 People may think Hunter is stupid, but who is jetting all over the world soaking up graft and corruption while banging 2nd tier skanks all year every year?

Yeah, you'd do it too if you could.

Posted by: Itinerant Alley Butcher at May 01, 2023 12:35 PM (ifRuI)

270 Great article on marketing by Simpson. It explains why all ads look the same, and are really bad.

And when will White People be allowed back in?

Posted by: PJ at May 01, 2023 12:50 PM (G1dq6)

271 I've replaced all of my Windows machines with Linux. All with Libre Office. All capable of working offline.

And it was free to switch.

Posted by: Rusty Nail at May 01, 2023 12:58 PM (3AR13)

272 I once worked for a large bank where we where implementing a trading/portfolio management tool for all asset management ... of course it required a lot of integration with the accounting and custody platforms ... to make thing more efficient we decided to move data via messaging ... (a first for the organization) ... we were 9 months along in the integration work ... when it was "decided" (by "management") that we needed to use a different messaging platform ... probably set us back 3-4 months as we had to rebuild all the pipes ... nobody asked us what we were doing and we never heard of another division who used messaging ... a cluster ...

Posted by: The Dark Lord at May 01, 2023 03:26 PM (5cMUX)

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