Jussie Smollet's Woke Lawyer Demands a Mistrial, Claiming Judge "Snarled" and "Lunged" At Her, Then Runs from Courtroom Crying When He Refuses Her Motion

This nation is... we're not sending us our best, are we?

What do you do when you are losing as a defendant? You start doing desperate things, and Smollett’s lawyers did just that yesterday, requesting a mistrial and personally attacking the judge. So what was the request for? Originally, a sidebar was called so Tamara Walker, a lawyer for Smollett, could request a mistrial based on the judge shutting down a line of questioning which he found irrelevant (it was). Things went downhill from there.
Apparently, she is now accusing the judge of physically “lunging” at her during the sidebar in his chamber. Smollett’s lawyers also accused the judge of visibly “snarling” when he sustained objections.

...

That’s when Walker went to the judge to make the request for a mistrial, after which she claimed the judge physically lunged at her. She then started to cry and left the courtroom with her mother (who was there for some reason). Admittedly, I wasn’t aware this was a high-school mock trial. The rest of Smollett’s legal team then made other claims that the judge was snarling at them, again trying to paint him as biased.

Apparently the objections were over the Smollett team's questions about whether one of the gay black weightlifter dudes that Smollett had paid for a gay-beat-up had ever used the term "fruity ass."

I guess they're trying to prove these two gay brothers are homophobic, and therefore really did hate Smollett for being gay, and beat him up for being gay.

And also, they beat him up because he paid them to beat him up and paid him to call him gay and paid him to call him racial slurs and to do this all in front of cameras so he could get it on the media. (Alas, the cameras were pointed in the wrong direction so we have no record of the fake hate crime performance, alas!)

The judge sustained objections that this fruity-ass line of questioning was irrelevant. To be honest, I guess I'd say it was relevant, given Smollett's insane defense that two gay men he paid to stage an anti-gay fake hate crime suddenly spontaneously decided to execute a real gay hate crime.

I know it's a stupid, stupid insane defense, but this claim that the gay brothers are actual homophobes is actually relevant to the stupid, stupid insane defense.

Update: RFR says the brothers are straight. Okay, I don't know them. I'll take his word for it.

Anyway, when he sustained the prosecution's objections over the fruity-ass questions, that's when the defense started literally crying and running out of the courtroom with their mommies.

While there is no video of the fake hate crime, there is apparently video of the dress rehearsal of the fake hate crime, in which Smollett directs his two actors to hit him but not hurt him. He didn't want any actual bruises.

That video is being shown at trial but has never been made public. Darn it all!

Unrelated, but:

Seth Rogan and Sarah Silverman -- who, as Critical Drinker pointed out, have been unfunny for so long that it's officially a difficult question as to when they actually were funny (can you remember?) -- have combined their dubious and aged talents into a redo of the much-despised "Sausage Party," which was just a parody of a kids' animated movie with f-bombs, pot references, and queef jokes.

Except now the target is Christmastime Santa stop motion entertainment.

With lots of f-bombs, feminist messaging, and small-dick jokes.

It's not really that it's offensive -- it's not; Santa Claus (in the popular imagination) is a myth, not really a true religious figure -- it's that this is all eye-rollingly cringey desperate boomer edgelord unfunny bullshit.

And of course, it's all woke preaching, which they wrongly think they're slipping by us by "hiding" the self-righteous morality play under an avalanche of sub-seventh-grade fart jokes.

The clip is widely despised and while HBO has turned off comments and hid the likes/dislikes, Critical Drinker used software to see it, and it was something like 2.5K likes to 84K dislikes.

Update:

Santa Inc.
Currently at:
3.1K Likes
114K Dislikes
Posted by: Soothsayer

If you're not a geek, you don't know what comes next. If you are a geek, you know exactly what comes next.

For five years -- ever since Ghostbusters 2016 -- Hollywood has been putting out one woke piece of crap after another, usually defiling beloved franchises or, in this case, lampooning innocent Christmas entertainments like Santa Claus is Coming to Town.

And every time they do this, and every time the audience dislikes their offerings, and every time their movies or tv shows fail to make money or draw viewers, they use the same nasty, toxic, corporate-approved crisis messaging play:

They claim that everyone who dislikes their shit is a white supremacist (or a racist, or a woman-hater, or various combinations of this list) and that all non-white-supremacists actually love their new awful bomb.

Kevin Smith just did exactly that for his awful Masters of the Universe abortion, and now Seth Rogan consults the same page of the same playbook and does the same here: Everyone who fails to find this funny is a white supremacist.

You only get to make so many bombs before even your Hollywood political protectors stop giving you charity assignments.

Enjoy your last few moments of "fame."

I can see your future, Seth and Sarah.

And your future is: Alyssa Milano.

Posted by: Ace at 06:35 PM

Comments

(Jump to bottom of comments)

1 could not care less

Posted by: rhennigantx at December 03, 2021 06:35 PM (yrol0)

2 But did the judge pounce at all?

Posted by: Curly Shuffle at December 03, 2021 06:36 PM (TNyrE)

3 Isn't heathens doing Christmas shows cultural appropriation?

Posted by: Regular joe at December 03, 2021 06:36 PM (L9P9s)

4 wait I thot Republicans pounce!

Posted by: rhennigantx at December 03, 2021 06:37 PM (yrol0)

5 Snowflake lawyers. Who could have seen this coming?

Posted by: Socratease at December 03, 2021 06:38 PM (oqnjT)

6 >>>3 Isn't heathens doing Christmas shows cultural appropriation?

one might think

Posted by: ace at December 03, 2021 06:38 PM (0G13K)

7 Can the State charge Juicey's loose ass for the cost of this fiasco?

The gal has no shame...

Posted by: Hairyback Guy at December 03, 2021 06:39 PM (R/m4+)

8 Good old Bee. Swimming upstream, but not complaining.

Posted by: clutch cargo - processed in a facility that may contain lead at December 03, 2021 06:40 PM (wAnMi)

9 Youtube turned off the dislike counter for all videos.

ALL. OF. THEM.

Posted by: weft cut-loop at December 03, 2021 06:41 PM (1t5dY)

10 It is a parody at this point.

Posted by: SOMEASSHOLESTOLEMYPEN at December 03, 2021 06:41 PM (ytSiK)

11 And your future is: Alyssa Milano.

Baring your fake tits in a bad vampire movie?

Posted by: Guy Smiley at December 03, 2021 06:41 PM (Bmy3R)

12 And I would rather watch ten, sappy Hallmark-style Christmas romance movies IN A ROW than watch any of that Rogen/Silverman dreck.

And for the record, Seth, I identify as white Hispanic.

I appreciated that the Critical Drinker limited his "review" of that dreck to less than five minutes.

Posted by: Curly Shuffle at December 03, 2021 06:41 PM (TNyrE)

13 Snowflake lawyers. Who could have seen this coming?
Posted by: Socratease at December 03, 2021 06:38 PM (oqnjT)

Nothing says "professional" like running crying out of the room when a motion is denied.

Posted by: Jordan61 at December 03, 2021 06:42 PM (OSx+N)

14 Santa Inc.
Currently at:
3.1K Likes
114K Dislikes

Posted by: Soothsayer at December 03, 2021 06:42 PM (P1T3x)

15 Juicy fruit.

Posted by: Ben Had at December 03, 2021 06:42 PM (K/KxD)

16 "had ever used the term "fruity ass."

I really did LOL.

Posted by: Pete Bootygig at December 03, 2021 06:42 PM (Tnijr)

17 Think Silverman was doable at one point, but never remember her being funny (and also obviously incredibly stupid). Rogen is unknown to me except from crap like this, and something idiotic involving North Korea, details of which elude me.

Posted by: rhomboid at December 03, 2021 06:42 PM (OTzUX)

18 Oh geez off fruity ass sock.

Posted by: f'd at December 03, 2021 06:43 PM (Tnijr)

19 Can't spell #SantaInc without #Satanic.

Posted by: flounder at December 03, 2021 06:44 PM (SH2Zi)

20 I did like the job Susan Silverman did in Wreck-It Ralph. That was fun. But ... she's at heart and soul a horrible person.

Seriously, though, would they like a couple of protestants making a movie about how lousy and Jewy Hanukkah is??

Posted by: Christopher R Taylor at December 03, 2021 06:44 PM (KZzsI)

21 >>> And your future is: Alyssa Milano.

lol

Posted by: flounder at December 03, 2021 06:44 PM (SH2Zi)

22
Someone on youtube just asked "who are they making [Santa Inc.] for?" Who is their audience?

Someone else answered: Hollywood is making this shit for....themselves.

Hollywood is now their own targeted audience.

Posted by: Soothsayer at December 03, 2021 06:44 PM (P1T3x)

23 Can't spell #SantaInc without #Satanic.
Posted by: f

Thought about that but it is an unnecessary reach

Posted by: confederatefifth at December 03, 2021 06:44 PM (K3ZCc)

24 Evergreen:

https://youtu.be/9w6UUkkOmgo

(NSFW, to put it mildly)

Posted by: Christopher R Taylor at December 03, 2021 06:45 PM (KZzsI)

25 Fucking trash.

Posted by: Mr Aspirin Factory at December 03, 2021 06:45 PM (1Lrz1)

26 I hope Michael Obama is subpoenaed. She was involved in this up to her poorly shaven Adam's apple.

Posted by: Betsy DeVos at December 03, 2021 06:45 PM (GYllL)

27 Thought about that but it is an unnecessary reach

Posted by: confederatefifth at December 03, 2021 06:44 PM (K3ZCc)

Someone has to snag the low-hangers.

Posted by: flounder at December 03, 2021 06:46 PM (SH2Zi)

28 Off useless and lazy sock

Posted by: Capital Eff at December 03, 2021 06:46 PM (GYllL)

29 To shamelessly rip off a Twitter reply about the Juicy Smoilette trial:

The judge shouted "This is MAGA Court!" before he lunged at me!

Posted by: Dworkin Barimen - anarcho-tyranny? you're soaking in it! at December 03, 2021 06:46 PM (cSs/W)

30 I find it hilarious that "Juicy" had a camera filming him during the rehearsal when he wasn't trying to get filmed, but did have one filming him during the actual "attack" when he was trying to get filmed.

What an idiot.

Posted by: junior at December 03, 2021 06:46 PM (S/NFr)

31 14 Santa Inc.
Currently at:
3.1K Likes
114K Dislikes
Posted by: Soothsayer at December 03, 2021 06:42 PM (P1T3x)

This is looking like one of those Trafalgar polls measuring Biden's popularity. The only question that one has from reading it is 'who the [REDACTED] is actually liking this trailer?'

Posted by: Darrell Harris at December 03, 2021 06:46 PM (M1I8I)

32 What's funny is that you can hella tell that smollet thought he was playing scriptwriter, directer, and publicist all at once. It was his own private production. F-ing genius. He should apply for a job at the FBI.

Posted by: Gentlemen, this is junta manifest at December 03, 2021 06:47 PM (YMBi3)

33
Alternate post title:

Judge Gets #MeToo'd In Real-Time During A Hoax Trial; The Streams Have Been Crossed

Posted by: Soothsayer at December 03, 2021 06:47 PM (P1T3x)

34 Someone has to snag the low-hangers.
Posted by: f

not for you, for hollywood

Posted by: confederatefifth at December 03, 2021 06:47 PM (K3ZCc)

35 >She then started to cry and left the courtroom with her mother (who was there for some reason).

Wait, this is talking about Junior Lawyerette? I can't wait to see AtC rip this bitch apart.

Posted by: Dworkin Barimen - anarcho-tyranny? you're soaking in it! at December 03, 2021 06:47 PM (cSs/W)

36 I wouldn't watch Seth Rogen unless he was on fire in front of my house.

Posted by: Shooter McGavin at December 03, 2021 06:47 PM (ErX2Q)

37 That is one of the dumbest, unfunniest things I've had the displeasure of watching in a long time.

Posted by: Insomniac - Outlaw. Sexual Racist. at December 03, 2021 06:47 PM (bWyp6)

38 "...Then Runs from Courtroom Crying When He Refuses Her Motion"

Ace, I thought you were fictioning the headline there for effect.

Holy Crap, you weren't.

If I'm a juror, I'm convicting Smollett for "Punking the Court in the First Degree". Then I'm sending him to jail for the rest of his fraud.

Posted by: AnonyBotymousDrivel at December 03, 2021 06:48 PM (aXxgO)

39 >I guess they're trying to prove these two gay brothers are homophobic, and therefore really did hate Smollett for being gay, and beat him up for being gay.

It's internalized homophobia, ace

Posted by: Dworkin Barimen - anarcho-tyranny? you're soaking in it! at December 03, 2021 06:48 PM (cSs/W)

40 Seth Rogan was responsible for Green Hornet. That's enough to go to Hollywood jail for life

Posted by: Christopher R Taylor at December 03, 2021 06:48 PM (KZzsI)

41 24 Evergreen:

https://youtu.be/9w6UUkkOmgo

(NSFW, to put it mildly)
Posted by: Christopher R Taylor

Video unavailable.
What does youtube have against trees

Posted by: Gentlemen, this is junta manifest at December 03, 2021 06:48 PM (YMBi3)

42
Question: Was the jury in the room for this particular sidebar?

Posted by: Soothsayer at December 03, 2021 06:49 PM (P1T3x)

43 Oh, look. Jews trying to get money from christians by slandering Christmas, then getting pissed when it doesn't fly.

Posted by: Cat Ass Trophy at December 03, 2021 06:49 PM (Pw26M)

44 The Romney-McDaniel family just ordered their 60lb Christmas ham. Ronna was observed sharpening her fang teeth.

Posted by: Capital Eff at December 03, 2021 06:49 PM (GYllL)

45 >If you're not a geek, you don't know what comes next. If you are a geek, you know exactly what comes next.

Yeah, Gamergate was the beta test of this strat, and it worked spectacularly.

Posted by: Dworkin Barimen - anarcho-tyranny? you're soaking in it! at December 03, 2021 06:49 PM (cSs/W)

46
Hoaxes Within Hoaxes Within Hoaxes...

Posted by: Soothsayer at December 03, 2021 06:49 PM (P1T3x)

47 Question: Was the jury in the room for this particular sidebar?
Posted by: Soothsayer

"I'm out of order!?"

"You're out of order!!"

Posted by: Tonypete at December 03, 2021 06:49 PM (mD/uy)

48 Video unavailable.

Might need to change permissions, there is some... well, a lot of foul language in it.

Its the beginning of Way of the Gun where Sarah Silverman gets pasted.

Posted by: Christopher R Taylor at December 03, 2021 06:50 PM (KZzsI)

49 39 >I guess they're trying to prove these two gay brothers are homophobic, and therefore really did hate Smollett for being gay, and beat him up for being gay.

It's internalized homophobia, ace
Posted by: Dworkin Barimen

The Mathew Shepard defense.

Posted by: Gentlemen, this is junta manifest at December 03, 2021 06:50 PM (YMBi3)

50 I'm hoping the post Title came from the Bee.

Posted by: Javems at December 03, 2021 06:50 PM (AmoqO)

51 And every time they do this, and every time the audience dislikes their offerings, and every time their movies or tv shows fail to make money or draw viewers, they use the same nasty, toxic, corporate-approved crisis messaging play:

They claim that everyone who dislikes their shit is a white supremacist (or a racist, or a woman-hater, or various combinations of this list) and that all non-white-supremacists actually love their new awful bomb.

What's funny is the backfire. The shows they lampoon will all of a sudden have higher viewership and bigger ratings than this shit show these idiots are peddling and they won't connect the dots.

Posted by: Puddleglum at December 03, 2021 06:50 PM (sAmhv)

52 I blame Judd Apatow and Paul Feig for inflicting all kinds of horrible people like Rogan on us. How a crappy show like Freaks and Geeks could spawn the careers of so many untalented idiots boggles the mind.

Posted by: lowandslow at December 03, 2021 06:51 PM (4thlk)

53 I hope Michael Obama is subpoenaed. She was involved in this up to her poorly shaven Adam's apple.
Posted by: Betsy DeVos at December 03, 2021 06:45 PM (GYllL)

Have you forgotten your scripture, the thirteenth scroll? "And Proteus brought the upright beast into the garden and chained him to a tree and the children did make sport of him."

Posted by: Dr. Zaius at December 03, 2021 06:51 PM (R/m4+)

54

I think she was a bit player on SNL...which is what, a couple hundred to run on stage? She was never funny.

Nice tits, but the most annoying voice and personality.

Jan Hooks, the only SNL babe who was legit funny on par with the guys.

Posted by: Dr.Rev. Senator Your Highness E Buzz Miller, Esq PhD MA MS at December 03, 2021 06:51 PM (XnbJC)

55 I'd give Juicy 30 years for sheer dumbassery in the first degree.

Posted by: Ben Had at December 03, 2021 06:52 PM (K/KxD)

56 it is funny that juicy never thought that a bunch of racist, gay hating white guys might not watch his show.

Posted by: confederatefifth at December 03, 2021 06:52 PM (K3ZCc)

57 ..Then Runs from Courtroom Crying When He Refuses Her Motion"

Ace, I thought you were fictioning the headline there for effect.

Holy Crap, you weren't.

If I'm a juror, I'm convicting Smollett for "Punking the Court in the First Degree". Then I'm sending him to jail for the rest of his fraud.
Posted by: AnonyBotymousDrivel at December 03, 2021 06:48 PM (aXxgO)
***

So can a juror get in trouble for laughing out loud?

Posted by: Diogenes at December 03, 2021 06:52 PM (axyOa)

58 >>>Its the beginning of Way of the Gun where Sarah Silverman gets pasted.

she was good in that role

She made me really believe she was the sort of woman who really needed a good slugging

Posted by: ace at December 03, 2021 06:52 PM (0G13K)

59
remember when "comedians" were introduced as "funny man _____?"

Like, "...and starring "funny man" Louie Anderson!"

Posted by: Soothsayer at December 03, 2021 06:53 PM (P1T3x)

60 I blame Judd Apatow and Paul Feig for inflicting all kinds of horrible people like Rogan on us.

A few months ago I bemoaned how we're in a lull where no great young directors are coming up to replace the ones who got us through the pre-2000s decades. There are lulls like that in hollywood history like the 1960s.

But... damn this is their new wave of directors, this furry stoner loser and Sasha Cohen and their ilk. I mean we don't have to have crappy overwrought nihilst French crap to have good cinema but these people are terrible.

Posted by: Christopher R Taylor at December 03, 2021 06:53 PM (KZzsI)

61 katy hill

sarah silverman

aoc

the new power throupl

Posted by: confederatefifth at December 03, 2021 06:53 PM (K3ZCc)

62 Posted by: Christopher R Taylor

Probably because I am not in USA.

Posted by: Gentlemen, this is junta manifest at December 03, 2021 06:53 PM (YMBi3)

63 Nice. ASU has apparently told the student protestors to go take a long walk off a short pier. The administration has announced that it will be happy to consider an application from Kyle Rittenhouse if he chooses to submit one in the future.

Waiting for the inevitable announcement by the protestors that they scored a moral victory in 5... 4... 3...

Posted by: junior at December 03, 2021 06:53 PM (S/NFr)

64
Silverman looks like a doberman pinscher.

Posted by: Soothsayer at December 03, 2021 06:54 PM (P1T3x)

65 Silverman looks like a doberman pinscher.
Posted by: S

she is kind of hot, from behind, in the dark, with a bag over her head

Posted by: confederatefifth at December 03, 2021 06:54 PM (K3ZCc)

66 Silverman looks like a doberman pinscher.
Posted by: Soothsayer at December 03, 2021 06:54 PM (P1T3x)
------------
Hey, Dobies without the clipped ears are cute.

Posted by: Captain Obvious, Laird o' the Sea at December 03, 2021 06:55 PM (AlkyK)

67
Put up a side-by-side of Silverman and ALF.

Posted by: Soothsayer at December 03, 2021 06:55 PM (P1T3x)

68 The two Nigerians are shirt-lifters? I didn't know that.

The lawyer runs from the courtroom, blubbing. Srsly?

The judge should've said: "Stay in the kitchen next time, toots!"

Posted by: Deplorable Jay Guevara at December 03, 2021 06:55 PM (2Padd)

69 Judge converts lawyer into 4 year old girl. Film at 11.

Posted by: klaftern at December 03, 2021 06:55 PM (taPSh)

70 I wonder if Silverman still thinks that the gas company spray paints swastikas on the street?

Posted by: Shooter McGavin at December 03, 2021 06:55 PM (ErX2Q)

71 This is the perfect trial for any self-respecting Hordian to *want* to be on the Jury.

I'd write the verdict as follows: "This Court finds you GUILTY, you mutherfuckinhamsterfucker*. Now, how do you plead?"

*shamelessly stolen

Jim
Sunk New Dawn
Galveston, TX

Posted by: Jim at December 03, 2021 06:55 PM (QzJWU)

72 From DailyMail:

A fugitive warrant has been issued for James and Jennifer Crumbley, the parents of Michigan school shooter.

Posted by: Darrell Harris at December 03, 2021 06:55 PM (M1I8I)

73 61 katy hill

sarah silverman

aoc

the new power throupl

Posted by: confederatefifth at December 03, 2021 06:53 PM (K3ZCc)

I'm not saying I'd watch that, it's just that...
OK, I'm saying I'd watch that.

Posted by: Pennsyltucky at December 03, 2021 06:56 PM (lNHqD)

74 Norm MacDonald said it best:

"That Silver Silverman. Who's funnier than her? I mean, apart from every other dude."

Posted by: ace at December 03, 2021 06:56 PM (0G13K)

75 Nice. ASU has apparently told the student protestors to go take a long walk off a short pier. The administration has announced that it will be happy to consider an application from Kyle Rittenhouse if he chooses to submit one in the future.
-----------------
I've never understood why university administrators cave when a dozen maladjusted wankers protest something.

"Don't you have homework to do? Don't let us keep you, then."

Posted by: Deplorable Jay Guevara at December 03, 2021 06:57 PM (2Padd)

76 The lawyer isn't helping this whole 'wahman empowahmint' thing.

Woof.

Posted by: weft cut-loop at December 03, 2021 06:57 PM (1t5dY)

77 I'm not saying I'd watch that, it's just that...
OK, I'm saying I'd watch that.

hq stream, if for no other reasn than to get some answers about tits

Posted by: confederatefifth at December 03, 2021 06:57 PM (K3ZCc)

78 katy hill

sarah silverman

aoc

the new power throupl

Posted by: confederatefifth at December 03, 2021 06:53 PM (K3ZCc)

yeah you wouldn't want to be the meat in that sandwich.

Posted by: Berserker-Dragonheads Division at December 03, 2021 06:57 PM (VwHCD)

79 Its the beginning of Way of the Gun where Sarah Silverman gets pasted.

Posted by: Christopher R Taylor at December 03, 2021 06:50 PM (KZzsI)

Did include her tits?

Posted by: Javems at December 03, 2021 06:57 PM (AmoqO)

80 Desperate stupid drama queen shit by the attorney. Terrible that courts of appeal don't takr testimony and only work from the transcript and other filed documents before asking fir oral argument on briefs.

Posted by: Mikey NTH - Outrage Outlet Summer Biden Special! Sunblock 10,000 SPF 20% Off! at December 03, 2021 06:57 PM (HfND3)

81 Sarah Silverman's name has come up a few times lately on account of not being entirely onboard the woke train. I think she's having a bit of a meltdown inasmuch as "edgy feminist Jewish woman" is no longer at or even near the top of the special-snowflake totem pole like it was in the late 90s.

Posted by: CppThis at December 03, 2021 06:57 PM (UewuT)

82 Jussie Smollet's Woke Lawyer Demands a Mistrial, Claiming Judge "Snarled" and "Lunged" At Her, Then Runs from Courtroom Crying When He Refuses Her Motion

I finally read this. Saw this earlier.

It's...something wonderful

https://youtu.be/yM25-lz1Yms

Posted by: Puddleglum at December 03, 2021 06:57 PM (sAmhv)

83 >>A fugitive warrant has been issued for James and Jennifer Crumbley, the parents of Michigan school shooter.

Starting to have a bit of insight into how this kid got so screwed up.

Posted by: JackStraw at December 03, 2021 06:57 PM (ZLI7S)

84 yeah you wouldn't want to be the meat in that sandwich.
Posted by: B

Agreed

Posted by: confederatefifth at December 03, 2021 06:58 PM (K3ZCc)

85 Hey! Kamala says there are more jobs than ever. I am not kidding. She can hardly keep up. That's a joke, son.

Posted by: Joe Biteum at December 03, 2021 06:58 PM (Tnijr)

86 65 Silverman looks like a doberman pinscher.
Posted by: S

she is kind of hot, from behind, in the dark, with a bag over her head
Posted by: confederatefifth at December 03, 2021 06:54 PM (K3ZCc)
------------------
And most importantly, a gag in her mouth.

Posted by: Deplorable Jay Guevara at December 03, 2021 06:58 PM (2Padd)

87 11 And your future is: Alyssa Milano.

Baring your fake tits in a bad vampire movie?
Posted by: Guy Smiley at December 03, 2021 06:41 PM (Bmy3R)

hey hey- embrace of the vampire was pure romance and clearly the inspiration for the pox that was twilight!

Posted by: Jack Burton, not a member of the Ram Ranch at December 03, 2021 06:58 PM (6bIQL)

88 She made me really believe she was the sort of woman who really needed a good slugging

Some might say it was a role she was born to play

Posted by: Christopher R Taylor at December 03, 2021 06:58 PM (KZzsI)

89 This is oddly one of the times they actually have a point about the reaction to their awful show. The comments on YouTube were "thinly veiled" (blatantly obvious) Anti-Semitic talking points. This is all of the comments I took the time to read through before YouTube shut them down. How many of them meant what they said, how many were trolling, and how many were just firing back at a level they thought was equal (it wasn't, the comments were much funnier than the trailer) I don't know. What I do know, is this is the first time I have ever seen the blowback for their BS actually give a solid reason for arguing White Supremacists are behind it.

Posted by: randomdude at December 03, 2021 06:58 PM (y/A91)

90 And most importantly, a gag in her mouth.
Posted by: D

Indeed!

Posted by: confederatefifth at December 03, 2021 06:58 PM (K3ZCc)

91 Also, it's really terrible that Jussie Smollett's lawyer has physically abused during the trial. At least the evil judge responsible for her ordeal left the sandwich intact.

Posted by: CppThis at December 03, 2021 06:59 PM (UewuT)

92 You only get to make so many bombs before even your Hollywood political protectors stop giving you charity assignments.

Making money no long appears to be an objective for Hollywood.

Speed the day when CGI and AI makes human actors entirely superfluous.

Posted by: G'rump928(c) at December 03, 2021 06:59 PM (yQpMk)

93 Maybe 85th-90th?

What pun opportunities have I missed?

Posted by: Bulgaroctonus at December 03, 2021 06:59 PM (14ukD)

94 Did include her tits?

I don't think she showed off the girls until she was well past her sell by date. At least, not on screen.

Posted by: Christopher R Taylor at December 03, 2021 06:59 PM (KZzsI)

95 Its the beginning of Way of the Gun where Sarah Silverman gets pasted.

Posted by: Christopher R Taylor at December 03, 2021 06:50 PM (KZzsI)

One of the great moments in film history

https://tinyurl.com/yfd872c4

Posted by: Shooter McGavin at December 03, 2021 06:59 PM (ErX2Q)

96 If nothing else we are seeing what the law degrees are going to get you from the Marxist Theological Law schools.

Posted by: Skip at December 03, 2021 07:00 PM (2JoB8)

97 I got double willowed!:

Who knew Pierre Omidyar's Semen was so full of calories?

It's like Ensure for Woke Elderly Senile Men.

Quick, get Senile Joe a gallon or two. He's looking mighty scrawny these days.

Posted by: naturalfake at December 03, 2021 07:00 PM (5NkmN)

98 I wouldn't watch Seth Rogen unless he was on fire in front of my house.
Posted by: Shooter McGavin at December 03, 2021 06:47 PM (ErX2Q)

Drink a lot of beer, and then amble over and piss on the ground about two yards from him as he screams through the flames.

Posted by: Alberta Oil Peon at December 03, 2021 07:00 PM (P3gRi)

99 "And your future is: Alyssa Milano."
Sorry, Ace, but there ain't NO WAY. Neither one of them is as cute as Milano, nor have they ever made a scene for a bad movie good by appearing nude. Alyssa Milano may be a batshit crazy old woman nowadays, but I can actually remember when she was hot. Same can't be said for Rogen or Silverman. Period.

(BTW, wasn't "Rogen" a big hair regrowth thing back in the day?)

Posted by: GWB at December 03, 2021 07:00 PM (Gcsm/)

100 For some reason I just find the idiot school killer kid's parents going fugitive funny. WTF is their strategery here?

They think there's some kind of market out there for sheltering stupid felon parents of a school shooter? Also, just a beautiful thing for their eventual defense in court.

Posted by: rhomboid at December 03, 2021 07:00 PM (OTzUX)

101 Sorry, 95th-100th?

Never post when you're inebriated.

Again, what is the pun topic du nor?

Posted by: Bulgaroctonus at December 03, 2021 07:01 PM (14ukD)

102 There are plenty of very mature and professional female lawyers. There are also plenty of female lawyers who are perpetually 13 years old.

Posted by: Insomniac - Outlaw. Sexual Racist. at December 03, 2021 07:01 PM (bWyp6)

103 "A few months ago I bemoaned how we're in a lull where no great young directors are coming up to replace the ones who got us through the pre-2000s decades. There are lulls like that in hollywood history like the 1960s."

It's pretty sad when Deadpool is the high mark of comedies, and that's just 90 minutes of Ryan Reynolds being snarky. I can't remember the last comedy that was really original and funny. Maybe "Something about Mary"?

Posted by: lowandslow at December 03, 2021 07:01 PM (4thlk)

104 I think this trial needs an audience like one one of the Maury Povich TV shows where the audience can laugh at the antics of the people on the stage.

Posted by: Colin at December 03, 2021 07:01 PM (pxOB6)

105 Nice rack. (Her, not him)

Posted by: SFGoth at December 03, 2021 07:01 PM (KAi1n)

106 Again, I really tried to watch Pineapple Express which was supposedly Rogen's big breakout movie and it was.... awful. not funny, aimless, pointless. It was like one of Cheech and Chong's later movies, without any of the jokes, crossed with Reservoir Dogs without any of the snappy dialog.

Posted by: Christopher R Taylor at December 03, 2021 07:01 PM (KZzsI)

107 It's pretty sad when Deadpool is the high mark of comedies, and that's just 90 minutes of Ryan Reynolds being snarky. I can't remember the last comedy that was really original and funny. Maybe "Something about Mary"?
Posted by: lowandslow at December 03, 2021 07:01 PM (4thlk)

farrelly brothers had a lot of good comedies. and though joel and ethan cohen are libs, they make good flicks.

Posted by: Jack Burton, not a member of the Ram Ranch at December 03, 2021 07:02 PM (6bIQL)

108 In fairness seth rogan downed more dick than silverman to get to where he is

Posted by: confederatefifth at December 03, 2021 07:02 PM (K3ZCc)

109 89 This is oddly one of the times they actually have a point about the reaction to their awful show. The comments on YouTube were "thinly veiled" (blatantly obvious) Anti-Semitic talking points. This is all of the comments I took the time to read through before YouTube shut them down. How many of them meant what they said, how many were trolling, and how many were just firing back at a level they thought was equal (it wasn't, the comments were much funnier than the trailer) I don't know. What I do know, is this is the first time I have ever seen the blowback for their BS actually give a solid reason for arguing White Supremacists are behind it.

Posted by: randomdude at December 03, 2021 06:58 PM (y/A91)

-----------------

Religion =/= Race. Maybe they'd have an argument if they said anti-semites were angry, but what does it have to do with white supremacists? I mean, aside from the knee-jerk-OMG-its-raaaaaacists reaction that leftist culture has to everything?

Posted by: Pennsyltucky at December 03, 2021 07:02 PM (lNHqD)

110 Juicy's lawyer ain't ever gonna pay back that $300,000 in student debt at this rate.

Posted by: Ben Had at December 03, 2021 07:02 PM (K/KxD)

111 >>>This is oddly one of the times they actually have a point about the reaction to their awful show. The comments on YouTube were "thinly veiled" (blatantly obvious) Anti-Semitic talking points.

I didn't see them but I've seen this tactic before with The Last Jedi, Ghostbusters, etc.: You find some "bad comment" -- and this is the internet, there WILL be bad comments, of course -- and then you claim these are the only people finding fault with your piece of shit.

It's been done over and over and over and over.

Yeah, there were a couple of people who made racialized remarks about Leslie Jones in Ghostbusters. No, this was not anything like the main thrust of criticism.

Yeah, there were some people who just said dumb things like "Girls can't be jedis" or whatever for Last Jedi. No, that was not the main point of criticism.

Posted by: ace at December 03, 2021 07:02 PM (0G13K)

112 56 it is funny that juicy never thought that a bunch of racist, gay hating white guys might not watch his show.
Posted by: confederatefifth at December 03, 2021 06:52 PM (K3ZCc)
---------------
The height of solipsism.

"Don't you know who I am??"
"No."
Shocked face, followed by sobs.

For my part, I'd never even heard of this poxy show OR Juicy. I guess my luck was bound to run out sometime.

Posted by: Deplorable Jay Guevara at December 03, 2021 07:02 PM (2Padd)

113 Nice rack. (Her, not him)
Posted by: S

his is bigger

Posted by: confederatefifth at December 03, 2021 07:02 PM (K3ZCc)

114 >>> Nice. ASU has apparently told the student protestors to go take a long walk off a short pier. The administration has announced that it will be happy to consider an application from Kyle Rittenhouse if he chooses to submit one in the future.

Waiting for the inevitable announcement by the protestors that they scored a moral victory in 5... 4... 3...
Posted by: junior at December 03, 2021 06:53 PM (S/NFr)

So which University caved? I thought one did already. Is this a different one.

Posted by: banana Dream at December 03, 2021 07:03 PM (XXeDg)

115 "And your future is: Alyssa Milano."

So many "celebrities" careers are now basically their Twitter accounts.

Posted by: Shooter McGavin at December 03, 2021 07:03 PM (ErX2Q)

116 And your future is: Alyssa Milano.

Baring your fake tits in a bad vampire movie?
Posted by: Guy Smiley at December 03, 2021 06:41 PM (Bmy3R)

Well to be fair, they are really nice. lol

Posted by: Berserker-Dragonheads Division at December 03, 2021 07:03 PM (VwHCD)

117 There are plenty of very mature and professional female lawyers. There are also plenty of female lawyers who are perpetually 13 years old.
Posted by: Insomniac - Outlaw. Sexual Racist. at December 03, 2021 07:01 PM (bWyp6)

Concur. Some of the most vicious gold digging whores I have ever met were attorneys.

The Vjay jay is a powerful weapon.

Posted by: Hairyback Guy at December 03, 2021 07:03 PM (R/m4+)

118 I'll beat that Silverman is all Disco Bush. Like a naked piggy back ride on 1980s Gabe Kaplan's shoulders.

Posted by: G'rump928(c) at December 03, 2021 07:03 PM (yQpMk)

119 >>>
It's pretty sad when Deadpool is the high mark of comedies, and that's just 90 minutes of Ryan Reynolds being snarky. I can't remember the last comedy that was really original and funny. Maybe "Something about Mary"?

I bought Free Guy on sale for $10. It's good. I've watched it twice already. Funny movie, as smart as it needs to be.

Posted by: ace at December 03, 2021 07:03 PM (0G13K)

120 ace: "Norm MacDonald said it best..."

In retrospect, I underappreciated MacDonald's subtlety.

Posted by: AnonyBotymousDrivel at December 03, 2021 07:04 PM (aXxgO)

121 The judge was breathing at me mean!!

Posted by: Tamara Walker, Hard-Bitten and Indomitable Defense Attorney at December 03, 2021 07:04 PM (4I/2K)

122 #43: and Mel Torme was one of the writers for the Christmas Song.

Posted by: Mikey NTH - Outrage Outlet Summer Biden Special! Sunblock 10,000 SPF 20% Off! at December 03, 2021 07:04 PM (HfND3)

123 @TheBabylonBee; 4h
To Prevent Unnecessary Deaths, Nation Demands Common-Sense Alec Baldwin Control

Posted by: andycanuck (UHVv4) at December 03, 2021 07:04 PM (UHVv4)

124 (BTW, wasn't "Rogen" a big hair regrowth thing back in the day?)
Posted by: GWB

Rogaine, unfortunately. Not quite close enough to be funny.

Posted by: mikeski at December 03, 2021 07:04 PM (P1f+c)

125 The height of solipsism.

"Don't you know who I am??"
"No."
Shocked face, followed by sobs.

For my part, I'd never even heard of this poxy show OR Juicy. I guess my luck was bound to run out sometime.
Posted by: D

I was aware of it because the cobs were always going off about how excited they were to see what was going to happen in the next show.

Posted by: confederatefifth at December 03, 2021 07:05 PM (K3ZCc)

126 And your future is: Alyssa Milano.

Baring your fake tits in a bad vampire movie?

nobody wants to see her tits

Posted by: confederatefifth at December 03, 2021 07:06 PM (K3ZCc)

127 Ass of Nature. All the fruity and vegetably you need.

Posted by: Bertram Cabot, Jr. at December 03, 2021 07:06 PM (63Dwl)

128 I bought Free Guy on sale for $10. It's good. I've watched it twice already. Funny movie, as smart as it needs to be.
Posted by: ace at December 03, 2021 07:03 PM (0G13K)

It's a love story, oddly enough.

Posted by: G'rump928(c) at December 03, 2021 07:06 PM (yQpMk)

129 #72 Yes, DH.

Michigan School Shooting: Authorities Have Issued A Fugitive Warrant For The Parents Of Ethan Crumbley
Prosecutors have charged the parents of a suspect in a deadly Michigan school shooting with involuntary manslaughter.

Authorities have issued a fugitive warrant for James and Jennifer Crumbley, who are accused of ignoring warning signs before the gun rampage.

Ethan Crumbley, 15, is accused of using his father's gun to shoot classmates in Oxford, about 35 miles (60 km) north of Detroit, this week.

He has pleaded not guilty on multiple charges including terrorism.

James and Jennifer Crumbley are facing four counts each.

Posted by: andycanuck (UHVv4) at December 03, 2021 07:06 PM (UHVv4)

130 >>>Sorry, Ace, but there ain't NO WAY. Neither one of them is as cute as Milano

I don't think she's cute, but what I meant was: Their "careers" will be posting selfie videos on Twitter.

Posted by: ace at December 03, 2021 07:06 PM (0G13K)

131 >>>It's a love story, oddly enough.

yes. cute stuff.

Posted by: ace at December 03, 2021 07:07 PM (0G13K)

132 When I first read the defense team's complaints about the trial I flashed back to the attempt to have a debate in middle school Spartans vs Athenians in the social studies classes as a fresh way to get kids to research.

It ended about exactly how you'd expect.

Posted by: Christopher R Taylor at December 03, 2021 07:07 PM (KZzsI)

133 122 #43: and Mel Torme was one of the writers for the Christmas Song.
Posted by: Mikey NTH - Outrage Outlet Summer Biden Special! Sunblock 10,000 SPF 20% Off! at December 03, 2021 07:04 PM (HfND3)

Irving Berlin wrote White Christmas. Awesome song.

Posted by: Darrell Harris at December 03, 2021 07:07 PM (M1I8I)

134 The Vjay jay is a powerful weapon.
Posted by: Hairyback Guy

waaaaay too powerful for most women to handle properly.

Posted by: Gentlemen, this is junta manifest at December 03, 2021 07:07 PM (YMBi3)

135 Oh my, if my attorney cried in front of me I would be getting a new attorney.

Crazy conspiracy theory because I have seen some crazy attorneys. What if attorney did this on purpose for appeal? I don't know, I'm not an attorney.

But seriously? WTF?

Posted by: CaliGirl at December 03, 2021 07:08 PM (9mPbX)

136 There is, how is it you say? Dick sucking in this dystopic future, you will be in.

Not me... for you. The Paleo is... sad, but not surprised.

Posted by: The Paleo at December 03, 2021 07:08 PM (BFigT)

137 @114

No university caved over Rittenhouse. He voluntarily withdrew from his online classes after the protest started.

Posted by: junior at December 03, 2021 07:08 PM (S/NFr)

138 Also, just a beautiful thing for their eventual defense in court.
Posted by: rhomboid at December 03, 2021 07:00 PM (OTzUX)
----------------
"Ah, you're wondering why we ran. Well ... uh ... you're gonna laugh when you hear this, but ..."

Judge and jury stone-faced.

Posted by: Deplorable Jay Guevara at December 03, 2021 07:08 PM (2Padd)

139 yes. cute stuff.
Posted by: ace at December 03, 2021 07:07 PM (0G13K)

and right in Reynolds' wheelhouse.

"He's so sleepy."

Posted by: G'rump928(c) at December 03, 2021 07:08 PM (yQpMk)

140 A fugitive warrant has been issued for James and Jennifer Crumbley, the parents of Michigan school shooter.

Starting to have a bit of insight into how this kid got so screwed up.
Posted by: JackStraw at December 03, 2021 06:57 PM (ZLI7S)

If they have a wreck in their motorhome, and get burned alive in the ensuing fire, we can say, "that's the way the Crumbleys cookle".

Posted by: Alberta Oil Peon at December 03, 2021 07:08 PM (P3gRi)

141 This Jewish guy doesn't like Santa Inc. either.

https://tinyurl.com/2p92yhmy

He also points out the minor little thing that makes these producers problematic.

Posted by: rd at December 03, 2021 07:08 PM (Z32m1)

142 HPD confirms bags of hidden money and checks found at Joel Osteen's Lakewood Church behind a wall were from the 2014 heist. It never left the building.

Great detective work there, fellas. Take the weekend off.

Posted by: Count de Monet, Unvaccinated Meatbag at December 03, 2021 07:08 PM (4I/2K)

143 Didn't "White Christmas" premier in "Holiday Inn", and not in the movie of the same name (White Christmas)?

One movie during the war, the other just after, both with Bing.

(this about exhausts my movie knowledge, and is probably wrong to boot)

Posted by: rhomboid at December 03, 2021 07:09 PM (OTzUX)

144 143 Didn't "White Christmas" premier in "Holiday Inn", and not in the movie of the same name (White Christmas)?

One movie during the war, the other just after, both with Bing.

(this about exhausts my movie knowledge, and is probably wrong to boot)
Posted by: rhomboid at December 03, 2021 07:09 PM (OTzUX)

You are correct, sir!

Posted by: Darrell Harris at December 03, 2021 07:09 PM (M1I8I)

145 i recommended Free Guy to women and they don't believe me that it's not an action movie but really a light sci-fi drama/romantic comedy.

Posted by: ace at December 03, 2021 07:09 PM (0G13K)

146 If the facts are with you, argue the facts.
If the law is with you, argue the law.
If neither one is with you, ~~pound the table~~ run blubbing from the courtroom.

Posted by: Deplorable Jay Guevara at December 03, 2021 07:09 PM (2Padd)

147 the only foolong jussy ate on that fateful night didn't come from subway.

Posted by: Jack Burton, not a member of the Ram Ranch at December 03, 2021 07:09 PM (6bIQL)

148 Smollett's attorney, surprising no one: https://defendchicago.com/about/

Posted by: Xander Crews at December 03, 2021 07:10 PM (MpOGS)

149 So, who steals bags of checks and save the checks?

Posted by: confederatefifth at December 03, 2021 07:10 PM (K3ZCc)

150 Didn't "White Christmas" premier in "Holiday Inn", and not in the movie of the same name (White Christmas)?
----------
Correct.

Posted by: Captain Obvious, Laird o' the Sea at December 03, 2021 07:11 PM (AlkyK)

151 i recommended Free Guy to women and they don't believe me that it's not an action movie but really a light sci-fi drama/romantic comedy.
Posted by: ace at December 03, 2021 07:09 PM (0G13K)

Just the opening sequence is worth watching the movie for.

Posted by: G'rump928(c) at December 03, 2021 07:11 PM (yQpMk)

152 THE JUDGE THREW BLEACH ON JUSSIE'S LAWYER AND HUNG A NOOSE ON HER!!!!!!

Posted by: vmom - link to Red's fundraiser at December 03, 2021 07:11 PM (FcPY7)

153 The weightlifter brothers are straight. The defense has some theory involving homophobia, but it seems weak.

Posted by: RFR at December 03, 2021 07:11 PM (bsHHO)

154 To say I don't like Santa Claus is putting it mildly, anything that takes attention and focus away from my Savior is the enemy.

But this looks like unmitigated woke crap and boring on top with weak animation. With a message that attacks exactly who Seth Rogan proved himself to be in his previous film.

Isn't there some formula to how many bombs you can make before producers stop giving you money?

Posted by: Christopher R Taylor at December 03, 2021 07:12 PM (KZzsI)

155 97 I got double willowed!:

Who knew Pierre Omidyar's Semen was so full of calories?

Posted by: naturalfake at December 03, 2021 07:00 PM (5NkmN)

I once had a secretary who would sometimes come in Monday morning bragging about how much "Protein" she had ingested that weekend. She was actually very good at her job (work job). Very overqualified.

Posted by: Javems at December 03, 2021 07:12 PM (AmoqO)

156 Smollett's attorney, surprising no one: https://defendchicago.com/about/
Posted by: Xander Crews at December 03, 2021 07:10 PM (MpOGS)

Fake everything.

Posted by: Count de Monet, Unvaccinated Meatbag at December 03, 2021 07:12 PM (4I/2K)

157 AND HUNG A NOOSE ON HER!!!!!!

I saw it!

Posted by: Bubba Karen-Wallace at December 03, 2021 07:12 PM (Xrfse)

158 You don't expect people named "Crumbley" to be guilty of murder, manslaughter, and terrorism.

That's more of an embezzlement and peeping-tom name.

Posted by: mikeski at December 03, 2021 07:12 PM (P1f+c)

159 >I didn't see them but I've seen this tactic before with The Last Jedi, Ghostbusters, etc.: You find some "bad comment" -- and this is the internet, there WILL be bad comments, of course -- and then you claim these are the only people finding fault with your piece of shit.

Posted by: ace at December 03, 2021 07:02 PM (0G13K)

Remember that YouTube video owners can selectively delete comments on their videos, so it's trivial for the studios to remove any thoughtful critique from the comments and leave all of the "hurr durr tha Juice" comments, then claim that all detractors are bigots. This is not a new strat.

Posted by: Dworkin Barimen - anarcho-tyranny? you're soaking in it! at December 03, 2021 07:12 PM (cSs/W)

160 If neither one is with you, pound the table run blubbing from the courtroom.
Posted by: Deplorable Jay Guevara at December 03, 2021 07:09 PM (2Padd)

If you needed no other event to solidify the notion that our judicial system is populated by third graders - behold our justice system in all its 8 year old glory!

Posted by: Boswell at December 03, 2021 07:13 PM (5iUNf)

161 @154

Ask Uwe Boll.

Posted by: junior at December 03, 2021 07:13 PM (S/NFr)

162 I think Ryan Remolds understands the concept of "sell by date" better than most in Hollywood. Right now like he's behaving as if he's on a deadline to cash in as fast as he can. He's in and into everything.

Posted by: lowandslow at December 03, 2021 07:13 PM (4thlk)

163 The opening scene

https://ytube.io/3NzU

Posted by: G'rump928(c) at December 03, 2021 07:13 PM (yQpMk)

164 Hey, what does a guy have to do to get noticed around here? Do I have to post as Kurt? Please don't make me post as Kurt.

Posted by: Bulgaroctonus at December 03, 2021 07:13 PM (14ukD)

165 "With 20 years' experience, Attorney Walker is a litigation expert with hundreds of satisfied clients: Attorney Tamara A. Walker is a highly skilled litigator and gifted attorney who was hired by the late Johnnie Cochran while she was still in law school. Attorney Walker continues to model her law practice in Mr. Cochran's honor ..."

Good lord. Modeling her practice on Johnny Cochran?

At least she's modest ("highly skilled," "gifted").

Posted by: Deplorable Jay Guevara at December 03, 2021 07:13 PM (2Padd)

166

are they? I could swear that we heard at the time that they were gay or on the down-low as they say.

Posted by: ace at December 03, 2021 07:13 PM (0G13K)

167 If they have a wreck in their motorhome, and get burned alive in the ensuing fire, we can say, "that's the way the Crumbleys cookle".
Posted by: Alberta Oil Peon at December 03, 2021 07:08 PM (P3gRi)

{rimshot}

Posted by: Schnorflepuppy at December 03, 2021 07:13 PM (Agr8U)

168 i recommended Free Guy to women and they don't believe me that it's not an action movie but really a light sci-fi drama/romantic comedy.
Posted by: ace at December 03, 2021 07:09 PM (0G13K)

It has Jodi Cormer in it. That is enough for me.

Posted by: Javems at December 03, 2021 07:14 PM (AmoqO)

169 CaliGirl: "Crazy conspiracy theory because I have seen some crazy attorneys. What if attorney did this on purpose for appeal? I don't know, I'm not an attorney."

She couldn't pound the facts. She couldn't pound the law. She couldn't pound the table. Running away was the best option. I actually think they are trying to force a mistrial in any desperate manner possible because it's all they have. Can't say I saw crying and fleeing as the option.

Posted by: AnonyBotymousDrivel at December 03, 2021 07:14 PM (aXxgO)

170 "highly skilled" and "gifted" - at running blubbing from the courtroom. Now THAT'S highly skilled and gifted right there.

Posted by: Deplorable Jay Guevara at December 03, 2021 07:15 PM (2Padd)

171 Smollett's attorney, surprising no one: https://defendchicago.com/about/
Posted by: Xander Crews at December 03, 2021 07:10 PM (MpOGS)
Fake everything.
Posted by: Count de Monet, Unvaccinated Meatbag at December 03, 2021 07:12 PM (4I/2K)

Affirmative action grifter.

You go girl!

Posted by: Hairyback Guy at December 03, 2021 07:15 PM (R/m4+)

172 I once had a secretary who would sometimes come in Monday morning bragging about how much "Protein" she had ingested that weekend. She was actually very good at her job (work job). Very overqualified.

Posted by: Javems

People like that are auditioning for a new partner.

Posted by: whig at December 03, 2021 07:15 PM (9hXN1)

173 161 @154

Ask Uwe Boll.
Posted by: junior at December 03, 2021 07:13 PM (S/NFr)

Ah, the many virtues of German socialism. One great success after another!

Posted by: CppThis at December 03, 2021 07:16 PM (UewuT)

174 She couldn't pound the facts. She couldn't pound the law. She couldn't pound the table. Running away was the best option. I actually think they are trying to force a mistrial in any desperate manner possible because it's all they have. Can't say I saw crying and fleeing as the option.
Posted by: AnonyBotymousDrivel at December 03, 2021 07:14 PM (aXxgO)
---------------------
Here's the fun part: all of the dramatis personae are black, so playing the race card is going to be tough, even for a highly skilled and gifted litigator in the Johnny Cochran mold.

Posted by: Deplorable Jay Guevara at December 03, 2021 07:16 PM (2Padd)

175 I once had a secretary who would sometimes come in Monday morning bragging about how much "Protein" she had ingested that weekend. She was actually very good at her job (work job). Very overqualified.

Posted by: J

It is a thing, it is a weird thing to be sure but it is a thing

Posted by: confederatefifth at December 03, 2021 07:16 PM (K3ZCc)

176 I've read rumors that Crumbly's dad purchased the pistol used in that shooting just days before the shooting. If those rumors are not false, dad probably is an accomplice. When your kid is nuts and making death threats and you buy a pistol and leave it where he can get to it you are an accomplice to his murders. Especially if this is your first gun purchase.

Posted by: PaleRider at December 03, 2021 07:17 PM (3cGpq)

177 frankly, i expect jussy the meatgazer to walk scot free. as will arec barwin, the world's greatest actor.
this way i am not le shocked when they do go free.

i am puzzled though that so many rubes can fall for such obvious bullshit, but hey, whatevs. america circling the drain and all that.

baldwin saying he didn't fire it. brass balls on him for that one. he was putting on his old self from glengarry glen ross on that interview.

Posted by: Jack Burton, not a member of the Ram Ranch at December 03, 2021 07:18 PM (6bIQL)

178 A previous thread question. Is Jim Swift really only in his 30s? I mean to my frumpy middle age eyes he looks my age (50s).

Posted by: Puddleglum at December 03, 2021 07:18 PM (sAmhv)

179 Ruh-roh: The parents of Michigan school shooter Ethan Crumley are apparently on the lam. They were charged with four counts of involuntary manslaughter and were supposed to be arrested today at 2PM, but nobody can find them.

http://bitly.ws/jRdy

Posted by: Meade Lux Lewis, Domestic Terrorist at December 03, 2021 07:18 PM (sWM8x)

180 the only foolong jussy ate on that fateful night didn't come from subway.

Posted by: Jack Burton, not a member of the Ram Ranch at December 03, 2021 07:09 PM (6bIQL)

It might have if he goes ass to mouth.

Posted by: Berserker-Dragonheads Division at December 03, 2021 07:18 PM (VwHCD)

181 Good lord. Modeling her practice on Johnny Cochran?

If they said "fruity ass" you must give Jussie a pass!

Posted by: Eisenhorn at December 03, 2021 07:18 PM (79FgF)

182 168 i recommended Free Guy to women and they don't believe me that it's not an action movie but really a light sci-fi drama/romantic comedy.
Posted by: ace at December 03, 2021 07:09 PM (0G13K)

It has Jodie Comer in it. That is enough for me.
Posted by: Javems at December 03, 2021 07:14 PM (AmoqO)

She plays a cute girl gamer. That's the big giveaway that the movie is fiction.

Posted by: Schnorflepuppy at December 03, 2021 07:18 PM (Agr8U)

183 "Apparently the objections were over ... the term "fruity ass.""

If they didn't get sustained for relevance, they could also have objected on grounds of hearsay. It's common knowledge that Jussie's ass smells like jackfruit. He probably puts 10 different lotions on it before breakfast.

Posted by: gp Attempts To Gain Function, And Fails at December 03, 2021 07:18 PM (qpX6U)

184 remember when she was hot. Same can't be said for Rogen or Silverman. Period.

To be fair, Sarah Silverman was quite cute in that movie where she got punched in the face.

"Way of the Gun", maybe?

Anywho, cute and then she wasn't. Kinda like magic.

Posted by: naturalfake at December 03, 2021 07:18 PM (5NkmN)

185 I still don't know who Jim Swift is. And I am at peace with that.

Posted by: Christopher R Taylor at December 03, 2021 07:19 PM (KZzsI)

186 So the original supposed crime of white supremacists has turned into maybe the African weight lifters had a secret Ghey h8er so the crime is real now.

Posted by: Skip at December 03, 2021 07:19 PM (2JoB8)

187 May I assume that "fruity ass" is not a reference to my actual bouquet?

Posted by: Don Lemon at December 03, 2021 07:19 PM (a3Q+t)

188 It might have if he goes ass to mouth.
Posted by: B

It is the internet's fault that my mom cannot search for cash machines with her iphone

Posted by: confederatefifth at December 03, 2021 07:19 PM (K3ZCc)

189 If they didn't get sustained for relevance, they could also have objected on grounds of hearsay. It's common knowledge that Jussie's ass smells like jackfruit. He probably puts 10 different lotions on it before breakfast.
Posted by: gp Attempts To Gain Function, And Fails at December 03, 2021 07:18 PM (qpX6U)
-----------------
The defense could bring in Don LeMon as an expert witness.

We might as well go all the way to opera bouffe.

Posted by: Deplorable Jay Guevara at December 03, 2021 07:20 PM (2Padd)

190 "Hey, what does a guy have to do to get noticed around here? "

You could call First. It helps if you actually are first.

Pro tip. Wait until ace is on a roll and then drunkenly poke holes in his posts. You might get all kinds of notice.

Posted by: Joe Biteum at December 03, 2021 07:20 PM (Tnijr)

191 Or should I say, "opera poof?"

Posted by: Deplorable Jay Guevara at December 03, 2021 07:20 PM (2Padd)

192 Seth Roegan wasn't necessarily funny in it but he played his role really well in Funny People. Probably both Seth Roegan's and Adam Sandler's best movie.

Posted by: Just a side note at December 03, 2021 07:20 PM (QqY+m)

193 the only foolong jussy ate on that fateful night didn't come from subway.

they were chinese, I thought they were nigerin

Posted by: confederatefifth at December 03, 2021 07:20 PM (K3ZCc)

194 176 I've read rumors that Crumbly's dad purchased the pistol used in that shooting just days before the shooting. If those rumors are not false, dad probably is an accomplice. When your kid is nuts and making death threats and you buy a pistol and leave it where he can get to it you are an accomplice to his murders. Especially if this is your first gun purchase.

Posted by: PaleRider

Always be suspicious of any rumors or news coverage that meshes with the MSM narrative for at least a week. Especially if Whitmer is involved--remember the plot against her that is now falling apart in court.

Remember that the MSM had Rittenhouse fleeing across state lines to avoid prosecution at this point.

Posted by: whig at December 03, 2021 07:20 PM (9hXN1)

195 184 "Way of the Gun", maybe?

Anywho, cute and then she wasn't. Kinda like magic.
Posted by: naturalfake at December 03, 2021 07:18 PM (5NkmN)

Posted at 24
Evergreen: https://youtu.be/9w6UUkkOmgo (NSFW, to put it mildly)
Posted by: Christopher R Taylor at December 03, 2021 06:45 PM (KZzsI)

Posted by: Schnorflepuppy at December 03, 2021 07:20 PM (Agr8U)

196 She plays a cute girl gamer. That's the big giveaway that the movie is fiction.

No, I've known a few. Most are there as girlfriends or are um, unique personalities, but they exist.

Back when she started, Silverman was the only comedienne doing the "I look sweet and cute and do babytalk and say outrageously shocking foul stuff to get a laugh" schtick. Now they all are, of course.

Posted by: Christopher R Taylor at December 03, 2021 07:21 PM (KZzsI)

197 I didn't see them but I've seen this tactic before with The Last Jedi, Ghostbusters, etc.: You find some "bad comment" -- and this is the internet, there WILL be bad comments, of course -- and then you claim these are the only people finding fault with your piece of shit.

*

The weird thing right now is to go and watch any of the pro-virus videos. Msm interviews with Pfizer CEO, videos about kids getting the (completely and 100% untested) covid shot, etc.

They disabled the dislike option because there would be tens of thousands of downvotes for every video. So they just made it where you could only support it.

Posted by: Moron Robbie - no significant difference in ability to spread or catch regardless of vax status at December 03, 2021 07:21 PM (+4JuD)

198 "are they? I could swear that we heard at the time that they were gay or on the down-low as they say."

One of them testified he was straight, and denied a sexual relationship with Smollet. https://tinyurl.com/nryhh4wb

Posted by: RFR at December 03, 2021 07:21 PM (bsHHO)

199 they were chinese, I thought they were nigerin
Posted by: confederatefifth at December 03, 2021 07:20 PM (K3ZCc)

Clearly, they did not cover all modalities.

Posted by: Alberta Oil Peon at December 03, 2021 07:22 PM (P3gRi)

200 "are they? I could swear that we heard at the time that they were gay or on the down-low as they say."

One of them testified he was straight, and denied a sexual relationship with Smollet. https://tinyurl.com/nryhh4wb
Posted by: R

I believe he is just hornier than a three peckrd billy goat

Posted by: confederatefifth at December 03, 2021 07:22 PM (K3ZCc)

201 Jim Swift's age seems to be rather difficult to find. Almost as if he's hiding it.

No Wiki page. I did find a link to one of his latest stellar journalismic forays:

Trump Tried To Kill Biden With COVID at the Debate
By Jim Swift The Bulwark

Posted by: Guy Smiley at December 03, 2021 07:22 PM (Bmy3R)

202 ack when she started, Silverman was the only comedienne doing the "I look sweet and cute and do babytalk and say outrageously shocking foul stuff to get a laugh" schtick. Now they all are, of course.
Posted by: Christopher R Taylor at December 03, 2021 07:21 PM (KZzsI)

i recall those early days on comedy central, when shows there were funny. hell even kimmel on the man show was funny. but alas, gone, like tears in teh rain.
but i'd still give sarah the hot beef injection. just for you all.

Posted by: Jack Burton, not a member of the Ram Ranch at December 03, 2021 07:22 PM (6bIQL)

203 I think if your a pitcher and not a catcher in Nigeria, your not "gay".

Kinda like prison.

Posted by: Hairyback Guy at December 03, 2021 07:22 PM (R/m4+)

204 Clearly, they did not cover all modalities.
Posted by: Alberta

Posted by: confederatefifth at December 03, 2021 07:23 PM (K3ZCc)

205 I thought that Jussie Smolett went with Squire Trelawney and Long John Silver to Treasure Island.

Posted by: Robert Louis Stevenson at December 03, 2021 07:23 PM (14ukD)

206 Oh goody, trolls have returned from last night's drubbing.

Posted by: whig at December 03, 2021 07:23 PM (9hXN1)

207 I honestly don't know a whole lot about Silverman but a former host on a morning radio program I listen to, who is also a stand-up comedian, said that she regularly committed the capital offense of comedy: stealing material from other comics. Suffice to say he was not a fan.

Posted by: CppThis at December 03, 2021 07:23 PM (UewuT)

208 Deplorable Jay Guevara: "Here's the fun part: all of the dramatis personae are black, so playing the race card is going to be tough, even for a highly skilled and gifted litigator in the Johnny Cochran mold."

Oh, they'll find a way. Or the MFM semi-sorta covering it will. They'll produce swatches and say, "Well, see, that's not Black. Not really. I mean, look at the color wheel here!" And then there's the "Ideological 'Black'" wherein skin tone doesn't matter. The intent of one's skin is what matters. It's a rabbit hole waiting to be plumbed by MFM and gifted litigators alike.

Posted by: AnonyBotymousDrivel at December 03, 2021 07:23 PM (aXxgO)

209 100 For some reason I just find the idiot school killer kid's parents going fugitive funny. WTF is their strategery here?

Posted by: rhomboid at December 03, 2021 07:00 PM

Escaping the 15 years or so they'll do. And they'll certainly be found guilty.

Posted by: NaughtyPine - now with extra holiday naughtiness! at December 03, 2021 07:23 PM (/+bwe)

210 so Governor John Balls Edwards have a sermon on Omnicron or whatever the fuck sniffles is called now....

I am wondering if we go back to nasal condoms this week?>

Posted by: sven at December 03, 2021 07:24 PM (Lzpvj)

211 but i'd still give sarah the hot beef injection. just for you all.

Posted by: Jack Burton

Jimmy Kimmel has already been there dude.

Posted by: whig at December 03, 2021 07:24 PM (9hXN1)

212 You know who else is a "highly skilled" law professional?

Posted by: Kamala! 2022! 2024! 2028! David Hogg 2032! at December 03, 2021 07:24 PM (a3Q+t)

213 I was 2nd chairing the defense of the only retaliatory Ellis Act eviction in the state of California (for those in the know, this was between the Court of Appeal's decision in Drouet and the Supreme Court's superseding decision). Plaintiffs' counsel actually sobbed to herself during a break in the trial. We eventually lost (i mentioned my client, Creola Love, last week or so). Anyways, the jury hated the *Plaintiffs'* attorney so much that they awarded 1/3 more in damages to *compensate* for the anticipated 1/3 contingency fee. I interviewed one of the jurors afterwards and got all the poop on this. Oy vey. (Ending has good news though.)

Posted by: SFGoth at December 03, 2021 07:24 PM (KAi1n)

214 They disabled the dislike option because there would be tens of thousands of downvotes for every video. So they just made it where you could only support it.
Posted by: Moron Robbie -

They want us to think we are alone.

Posted by: Gentlemen, this is junta manifest at December 03, 2021 07:24 PM (YMBi3)

215 Posted by: fringe at December 03, 2021 07:21 PM (FPur3

Run on sentence much?

Posted by: Just a side note at December 03, 2021 07:24 PM (QqY+m)

216 I dunno if the Nigerian brothers are homosexual or not. But there are two kinds of bodybuilders, and these do not strike me as the kind who do it to pick up chicks and feel more raw masculine.

Posted by: Christopher R Taylor at December 03, 2021 07:25 PM (KZzsI)

217 Michigan shooter parents on the lam!

Bonnie and Clod...

Posted by: Boswell at December 03, 2021 07:25 PM (5iUNf)

218 208 Posted by: CppThis at December 03, 2021 07:23 PM (UewuT)

Sarah is as funny as a dead baby...

Posted by: sven at December 03, 2021 07:25 PM (Lzpvj)

219 Jimmy Kimmel has already been there dude.
Posted by: whig at December 03, 2021 07:24 PM (9hXN1)

yeah but i figure he's hung like a field mouse, so yeah, win for the team.

Posted by: Jack Burton, not a member of the Ram Ranch at December 03, 2021 07:25 PM (6bIQL)

220 What are they charging the fleeing parents with? Being accessories before the fact? Conspiracy?

Posted by: G'rump928(c) at December 03, 2021 07:25 PM (yQpMk)

221 a former host on a morning radio program I listen to, who is also a stand-up comedian, said that she regularly committed the capital offense of comedy: stealing material from other comics.
---
She's a low-down bitch, man.

Posted by: Amy Schumer at December 03, 2021 07:26 PM (sWM8x)

222 I actually think they are trying to force a mistrial in any desperate manner possible because it's all they have.
----------------------
The only Denny Crane Boston Legal scene I ever saw was Crane insulting the judge, opposition counsel, and maybe even the jury, creating pandemonium in the court, to get a mistrial for a losing case to gain more time and have it fobbed off on another lawyer!

Posted by: andycanuck (UHVv4) at December 03, 2021 07:26 PM (UHVv4)

223 The thing is, the Dislike button is still on Youtube. Its just muted, you can't see the results. I guess its just there for demographic and metadata collection purposes?

Posted by: Christopher R Taylor at December 03, 2021 07:26 PM (KZzsI)

224 We made a bunch of post-trial motions and then noticed an appeal. The Plaintiffs, who had won something like $100,000 + a pending motion for attorney's fees, settled for their out-of-pocket trial court expenses. Before the appeal would've been heard, the Supreme Court issued its decision in Drouet which would've mandated a complete reversal and payment to us of our attorney's fees. : - >

Posted by: SFGoth at December 03, 2021 07:26 PM (KAi1n)

225 Run on sentence much?

Shh. Xhe's rolling.

Posted by: G'rump928(c) at December 03, 2021 07:26 PM (yQpMk)

226 yeah but i figure he's hung like a field mouse, so yeah, win for the team.

Posted by: Jack Burton

It is more the Mongolian Dick Rot that you might catch. Hollyweird is the place to catch diseases from all over the globe.

Posted by: whig at December 03, 2021 07:26 PM (9hXN1)

227
Good lord. Modeling her practice on Johnny Cochran?

At least she's modest ("highly skilled," "gifted").
Posted by: Deplorable Jay Guevara

I she has a fit you must acquit.

Posted by: Bertram Cabot, Jr. at December 03, 2021 07:26 PM (63Dwl)

228 She's a low-down bitch, man.
Posted by: Amy Schumer

"I heard she was a low-down bitch!"
--George Lopez

Posted by: Christopher R Taylor at December 03, 2021 07:27 PM (KZzsI)

229 She's a low-down bitch, man.
Posted by: Amy Schumer at December 03, 2021 07:26 PM (sWM8x)

Damn right.

Posted by: Carlos Mencia at December 03, 2021 07:27 PM (yQpMk)

230 The upside of Ghostbusters 2016 is that its crashing and burning actually inspired them to make a sequel that respects the original material.

Posted by: Cato, Post-Apocalyptic Scourge of the Seas at December 03, 2021 07:27 PM (Msrhc)

231 The thing is, the Dislike button is still on Youtube. Its just muted, you can't see the results. I guess its just there for demographic and metadata collection purposes?

*

It would be interesting to hear an explanation of how an algorithm programmed itself to only perform that action on the covid videos.

Posted by: Moron Robbie - no significant difference in ability to spread or catch regardless of vax status at December 03, 2021 07:27 PM (+4JuD)

232 I once had a secretary who would sometimes come in Monday morning bragging about how much "Protein" she had ingested that weekend. She was actually very good at her job (work job). Very overqualified.

Posted by: J

It is a thing, it is a weird thing to be sure but it is a thing
Posted by: confederatefifth at December 03, 2021 07:16 PM (K3ZCc)

I don't want to know anything about cow-workers sex lives. Keep the focus on the work.

Unless you are inviting me to join in. Other than that though, work, work, work, work!

Posted by: Count de Monet, Unvaccinated Meatbag at December 03, 2021 07:27 PM (4I/2K)

233 223 Posted by: andycanuck (UHVv4) at December 03, 2021 07:26 PM (UHVv4)

Bosoton Legal was like "the Practice" for dummies...

God I hated those procedural litigator shows....

"Plan B!"

You mean make up shit as you go along and rely on the writers to bail you out barrister?

"yup"

Posted by: sven at December 03, 2021 07:27 PM (Lzpvj)

234 It's bad enough that Jussie will probably get hit only with probation. Worse than that is we'll never find out who put in the fix for him on getting the case dropped at first. Worse than that is we will also never find out why he wasn't charged for the terroristic act of mailing powder.

Posted by: gp Attempts To Gain Function, And Fails at December 03, 2021 07:28 PM (qpX6U)

235 I don't want to know anything about cow-workers sex lives. Keep the focus on the work.

Unless you are inviting me to join in. Other than that though, work, work, work, work!
Posted by: Count de

That was funny

Posted by: confederatefifth at December 03, 2021 07:28 PM (K3ZCc)

236 Link from Frontpage Mag early the guy who made straw purchases for the San Bernardino massacre killing 14 was just put on probation

Posted by: Skip at December 03, 2021 07:28 PM (2JoB8)

237
Michigan shooter parents on the lam!

Bonnie and Clod...
Posted by: Boswell

I just saw some lawyer on TV who said they were NOT on the lam. They just happened to leave town.

Posted by: Bertram Cabot, Jr. at December 03, 2021 07:28 PM (63Dwl)

238 Unless you are inviting me to join in. Other than that though, work, work, work, work!

Posted by: Count de Monet

The ones that dish are most often not the ones you want to touch.

Posted by: whig at December 03, 2021 07:29 PM (9hXN1)

239 PaleRider: "I've read rumors that..."

Yeah, as whig said, I'd hold off on the "reporting". I'm certain it'll be shown wrong, inaccurate, or incomplete.

See Gell-Mann Amnesia.

Posted by: AnonyBotymousDrivel at December 03, 2021 07:29 PM (aXxgO)

240 Why can't they just leave Christmas alone? Like me, it's not their holiday and they don't need to be smart asses or profane about it. Or be nice and secular respectful like Irving Berlin. Stupid Inc is more like it, Sarah and Seth.

Posted by: CN at December 03, 2021 07:29 PM (ONvIw)

241 I just saw some lawyer on TV who said they were NOT on the lam. They just happened to leave town.
Posted by: Bertram Cabot, Jr. at December 03, 2021 07:28 PM (63Dwl)

Greece is nice this time of year.

Posted by: Tom Hanks at December 03, 2021 07:30 PM (yQpMk)

242 I just saw some lawyer on TV who said they were NOT on the lam. They just happened to leave town.
Posted by: Bertram Cabot, Jr. at December 03, 2021 07:28 PM (63Dwl)

Town? or country?

Posted by: Boswell at December 03, 2021 07:30 PM (5iUNf)

243 but i'd still give sarah the hot beef injection. just for you all.

Posted by: Jack Burton, not a member of the Ram Ranch at December 03, 2021 07:22 PM (6bIQL)

Yeah, I can see that. She is way less repulsive than AOC.

Posted by: Berserker-Dragonheads Division at December 03, 2021 07:30 PM (VwHCD)

244 "Link from Frontpage Mag early the guy who made straw purchases for the San Bernardino massacre killing 14 was just put on probation"

No, it's one of the Arab women, not the Martinez kid. He's doing 20 years right now. I had to read that carefully to figure it out.

Posted by: gp Attempts To Gain Function, And Fails at December 03, 2021 07:30 PM (qpX6U)

245 Good lord. Modeling her practice on Johnny Cochran?

At least she's modest ("highly skilled," "gifted").
Posted by: Deplorable Jay Guevara

If the colon is split, you must acquit!

Posted by: flounder at December 03, 2021 07:30 PM (SH2Zi)

246 230 She's a low-down bitch, man.
Posted by: Amy Schumer at December 03, 2021 07:26 PM (sWM8x)

Damn right.
Posted by: Carlos Mencia at December 03, 2021 07:27 PM (yQpMk)

Piker.

Posted by: Milton Berle at December 03, 2021 07:30 PM (M1I8I)

247 I remember San Bernardino, that's the one they let a suspect flee the country, then opened up the suspect's house to the press 24 hours after the crime because the FBI claimed they were "done" with it.

FOR GREAT JUSTICE!

Posted by: Christopher R Taylor at December 03, 2021 07:30 PM (KZzsI)

248 They just happened to leave town.

*

With the omicron spreading like wildfire? They are killing even more people!

Posted by: Moron Robbie - no significant difference in ability to spread or catch regardless of vax status at December 03, 2021 07:31 PM (+4JuD)

249

The parents are charged with 4 counts of involuntary manslaughter. The morning of the shooting the parents, killer and school administrators had a meeting. School asked parents to take son out of school for the day and parents refused.

Posted by: four seasons at December 03, 2021 07:31 PM (PisyI)

250 OK, Swift graduated from St. Louis University with a B.A. in 2006

(does half-assed math in head)

Born around 1982? I don't think that counts as "Millennial."

Posted by: Guy Smiley at December 03, 2021 07:31 PM (Bmy3R)

251 I once had a secretary who would sometimes come in Monday morning bragging about how much "Protein" she had ingested that weekend. She was actually very good at her job (work job). Very overqualified.

Posted by: Javems

A girl's gotta eat.

Posted by: flounder at December 03, 2021 07:31 PM (SH2Zi)

252 Why does Crumley use the Oppenheimer quote? Grandiose or was it used un TV lately?

Posted by: CN at December 03, 2021 07:31 PM (ONvIw)

253 It started dawning on me towards the end of the Santa, Inc. trailer- this is real! This is actually a movie! What simple-minded garbage.

Posted by: t-bird at December 03, 2021 07:31 PM (pbStR)

254
Hornswoop me bungo pony, dogsled on ice
Make a dash for freedom baby, don't skate on polar ice

Posted by: I'm on the lam but I ain't no sheep. at December 03, 2021 07:31 PM (Tnijr)

255 FedEx says they are bringing me a package on Sunday. Is this normal now?

Posted by: G'rump928(c) at December 03, 2021 07:31 PM (yQpMk)

256 School asked parents to take son out of school for the day and parents refused.

*

Wait.

The school is admitting fault there.

Posted by: Moron Robbie - no significant difference in ability to spread or catch regardless of vax status at December 03, 2021 07:32 PM (+4JuD)

257 Something wonderful. Roy Scheider and Billy Corgan?

Posted by: klaftern at December 03, 2021 07:32 PM (taPSh)

258 In fairness, were Christmas not important they would not be going after it

Posted by: confederatefifth at December 03, 2021 07:32 PM (K3ZCc)

259 It's bad enough that Jussie will probably get hit only with probation.

Well its not like he drove a car into a parade of grannies and swerved around to get them all like a Grand Theft Auto mission.

Posted by: Christopher R Taylor at December 03, 2021 07:32 PM (KZzsI)

260 250 Posted by: four seasons at December 03, 2021 07:31 PM (PisyI)

so the parents are to blame for the school not protecting their campus?

Lovely case.

Posted by: sven at December 03, 2021 07:32 PM (Lzpvj)

261 256 Yes

Posted by: CN at December 03, 2021 07:32 PM (ONvIw)

262 You mean make up shit as you go along and rely on the writers to bail you out barrister?

"yup"
Posted by: sven
-------
You want to know how a law office really works, check out "the Secretary ".

Posted by: Drc at December 03, 2021 07:32 PM (llGBY)

263 Welp. Today was the last day of daycare for the youngest boy. No he did not age out, we cannot afford it anymore, thanks Biden. We are paying minimum 2-300$ more for the same fuel/groceries we were from a year ago.

Fuck these people.

Also, that trailer was unfunny. I mean hot damn it sucked.

Posted by: thathalfrican - The One at December 03, 2021 07:33 PM (YglAn)

264
FedEx says they are bringing me a package on Sunday. Is this normal now?
Posted by: G'rump928(c)

Joe and Pete fixed the supply chain.

Posted by: Bertram Cabot, Jr. at December 03, 2021 07:33 PM (63Dwl)

265 If it's bad enough that you ask the parents to take their kid out of school, you should be suspending or expelling him for the exact same reason.

Way to go, administration.

Posted by: Moron Robbie - no significant difference in ability to spread or catch regardless of vax status at December 03, 2021 07:33 PM (+4JuD)

266 259 It's extremely unbecoming

Posted by: CN at December 03, 2021 07:33 PM (ONvIw)

267 257 Posted by: Moron Robbie - no significant difference in ability to spread or catch regardless of vax status at December 03, 2021 07:32 PM (+4JuD)

Correct, in a sane world the school just admited their own incompetent malfeasance.

Posted by: sven at December 03, 2021 07:33 PM (Lzpvj)

268 Well its not like he drove a car into a parade of grannies and swerved around to get them all like a Grand Theft Auto mission.
Posted by: Christopher R Taylor at December 03, 2021 07:32 PM (KZzsI)

Was he wearing sunglasses?

Posted by: G'rump928(c) at December 03, 2021 07:33 PM (yQpMk)

269 Born around 1982? I don't think that counts as "Millennial."
Posted by: Guy Smiley at December 03, 2021 07:31 PM (Bmy3R)

It shouldn't. Anyone born in 1982 was an adult before the millenium rolled over. The millenial generation is typically defined as someone who was a child in the old millenium and didn't become an adult until the new, so the oldest millenials should be those born in 1983.

Anyone who says otherwise is full of it.

Posted by: Cato, Post-Apocalyptic Scourge of the Seas at December 03, 2021 07:33 PM (Msrhc)

270 237 Link from Frontpage Mag early the guy who made straw purchases for the San Bernardino massacre killing 14 was just put on probation

Posted by: Skip at December 03, 2021 07:28 PM (2JoB

------

White privilege.

Posted by: ShainS -- Let's Poop Brandon! (Non Compos Anus) at December 03, 2021 07:33 PM (mZ3xv)

271 "Link from Frontpage Mag early the guy who made straw purchases for the San Bernardino massacre killing 14 was just put on probation"

The probie is "Rafia Farook, mother of Syed, [who] claimed she knew nothing of his deadly plans, but she shredded a map her son had made for the attack." That is not the straw purchaser Martinez.

IMHO, the headline easily misleads.

Posted by: gp Attempts To Gain Function, And Fails at December 03, 2021 07:33 PM (qpX6U)

272 You want to know how a law office really works, check out "the Secretary ".
Posted by: Drc at December 03, 2021 07:32 PM (llGBY)

Not like The Firm?

Posted by: G'rump928(c) at December 03, 2021 07:34 PM (yQpMk)

273 Posted by: G'rump928(c) at December 03, 2021 07:33 PM (yQpMk)

No but he was wearing a fedora

Posted by: thathalfrican - The One at December 03, 2021 07:34 PM (YglAn)

274 The generations are not very precisely delineated, but most agree that Millennials started around 1981 and ended by 1996.

But its like comic book eras. When did the Bronze age end? When did the Silver age start? Was there a Copper age?

Posted by: Christopher R Taylor at December 03, 2021 07:34 PM (KZzsI)

275 If you are going to make a trailer for a christmas movie, do this instead,

The Night the Reindeer Died (from Scrooged)
https://tinyurl.com/yc5k3ajn

Posted by: whig at December 03, 2021 07:34 PM (9hXN1)

276

Do schools sill have school resource officers?

Posted by: four seasons at December 03, 2021 07:35 PM (PisyI)

277 259 It's extremely unbecoming

that is fine but I have no regard what they think about this or anything else

Posted by: confederatefifth at December 03, 2021 07:35 PM (K3ZCc)

278 I handled a sexual harassment claim filed by a female butcher's assistant in a small grocery store in the Catskills. My investigation determined she would come to work in her butchers coat and only a negligee under it. She would flash and tease the poor butcher until he started playing her game. She'd tell the butcher all of her sexcapades and banged every deer hunter that came into the store during deer season. Bitch still got a nuisance settlement.

Posted by: Just a side note at December 03, 2021 07:36 PM (QqY+m)

279 Last Saturday Amazon arrived after 8pm

Posted by: Skip at December 03, 2021 07:36 PM (2JoB8)

280 Santa Inc.
Currently at:
3.1K Likes
114K Dislikes
Posted by: Soothsayer at December 03, 2021 06:42 PM (P1T3x)

And here in a nutshell is why goolag/yootoob did away with visible dislikes.

[_] Protecting small content creators and minorities from having their feelings hurt.

[X] Protecting the Mega Corp & WH from allowing people to understand they're far from being a fringe minority.

Posted by: clutch cargo - processed in a facility that may contain lead at December 03, 2021 07:36 PM (wAnMi)

281 272 "Link from Frontpage Mag early the guy who made straw purchases for the San Bernardino massacre killing 14 was just put on probation"

The probie is "Rafia Farook, mother of Syed, [who] claimed she knew nothing of his deadly plans, but she shredded a map her son had made for the attack." That is not the straw purchaser Martinez.

IMHO, the headline easily misleads.
Posted by: gp Attempts To Gain Function, And Fails at December 03, 2021 07:33 PM (qpX6U)

For anybody that argues that it's ok for Fredo to do what he did for his brother, because family, needs to read the above post and think twice about their position.

Posted by: Darrell Harris at December 03, 2021 07:36 PM (M1I8I)

282 don't want to know anything about cow-workers sex lives. Keep the focus on the work.

Unless you are inviting me to join in. Other than that though, work, work, work, work!

Posted by: Count de Monet, Unvaccinated Meatbag at December 03, 2021 07:27 PM (4I/2K)

You know the old adage, "Never dip your pen in company ink"

Posted by: Javems at December 03, 2021 07:36 PM (AmoqO)

283 251 OK, Swift graduated from St. Louis University with a B.A. in 2006

(does half-assed math in head)

Born around 1982? I don't think that counts as "Millennial."

Posted by: Guy Smiley

No generation wants to claim him.

Posted by: whig at December 03, 2021 07:36 PM (9hXN1)

284 @256

FedEx delivers on Sunday now.

Or supposedly, at any rate. I had a parcel dropped off on a Monday recently, and the tracking page for it claimed that the driver tried and failed to deliver the day before. I was home at the time of the supposed delivery attempt.

Posted by: junior at December 03, 2021 07:36 PM (S/NFr)

285 277 Do schools sill have school resource officers?
---
The Michigan school had one, yes. He was reportedly involved in apprehending Crumbley.

Posted by: Meade Lux Lewis, Domestic Terrorist at December 03, 2021 07:37 PM (sWM8x)

286 >>> She plays a cute girl gamer. That's the big giveaway that the movie is fiction.
Posted by: Schnorflepuppy at December 03, 2021 07:18 PM (Agr8U)

Lots of girls game, cute or not. Younger women yes. They don't always play the same game guys do. But you don't think game makers haven't perfected the endorphin hit for girls like they have for guys?

Posted by: banana Dream at December 03, 2021 07:37 PM (XXeDg)

287 Bitch still got a nuisance settlement.

It was only sexual harassment because he didn't own the chain. Chance with the Rolex and corner office doesn't sexual harass, he flirts. Pete the janitor harasses.

Posted by: Christopher R Taylor at December 03, 2021 07:37 PM (KZzsI)

288

Seems the school should have forcibly removed the killer, after the parents refused.

Posted by: four seasons at December 03, 2021 07:38 PM (PisyI)

289 No generation wants to claim him.
Posted by: whig at December 03, 2021 07:36 PM (9hXN1)

He's Generation Blecch

(h/t Mad Magazine)

Posted by: Guy Smiley at December 03, 2021 07:38 PM (Bmy3R)

290 But you don't think game makers haven't perfected the endorphin hit for girls like they have for guys?
Posted by: banana Dream at December 03, 2021 07:37 PM (XXeDg)

I mean, on how many different levels can you make a sandwich?

Posted by: Schnorflepuppy at December 03, 2021 07:39 PM (Agr8U)

291 290 LOL.

Posted by: whig at December 03, 2021 07:39 PM (9hXN1)

292 But you don't think game makers haven't perfected the endorphin hit for girls like they have for guys?

Take it from a writer of gaming products: there's no formula or hard hitting case studies going on here. There's no think tank working up demographics. Its "this looks fun, I hope other people think so too!"

Posted by: Christopher R Taylor at December 03, 2021 07:40 PM (KZzsI)

293 It was only sexual harassment because he didn't own the chain. Chance with the Rolex and corner office doesn't sexual harass, he flirts. Pete the janitor harasses.
Posted by: Christopher R Taylor at December 03, 2021 07:37 PM (KZzsI)

That's a separate insurance policy for company officers.

Posted by: Just a side note at December 03, 2021 07:40 PM (QqY+m)

294 Paul Joseph Watson @PrisonPlanet; 12h
Newly obtained documents show that pedophile Jeffrey Epstein visited the Clinton White House 17 times, including twice in one day on three separate occasions.

Posted by: andycanuck (UHVv4) at December 03, 2021 07:40 PM (UHVv4)

295 "Seems the school should have forcibly removed the killer, after the parents refused."

The kid had the pistol in his bag at the parent/admin meeting. Nobody searched him. Parents presumably did not disclose that they had just bought him a pistol. Parents are wanted and at large at this moment.

Posted by: gp Attempts To Gain Function, And Fails at December 03, 2021 07:40 PM (qpX6U)

296 I picture the parents hiding out in a tent not very far away like the Kettlemans on Better Call Saul.

Posted by: Guy Smiley at December 03, 2021 07:41 PM (Bmy3R)

297 295 Posted by: andycanuck (UHVv4) at December 03, 2021 07:40 PM (UHVv4)

"How fortunate for everyone that he committed suicide."

//Grammy H and the Media

Posted by: sven at December 03, 2021 07:42 PM (Lzpvj)

298 Sarah Silverman is just not funny... there, I said it

Posted by: Amy Schumer at December 03, 2021 07:42 PM (flINI)

299 there are shitty parents everywhere

in fairness, rittenhouse's parents were not much better

Posted by: confederatefifth at December 03, 2021 07:42 PM (K3ZCc)

300 nood

tickles?

Posted by: banana Dream at December 03, 2021 07:43 PM (XXeDg)

301 Sarah Silverman is just not funny... there, I said it
Posted by: Amy S

does that need quotes?

Posted by: confederatefifth at December 03, 2021 07:43 PM (K3ZCc)

302 For whatever forehead-smacking stuff comes about the shooty MI family, go to the trouble of reviewing the factoids of the Parkland massacre.

Specifically the role of the county, and ed department, and federal DOJ in enabling the idiot to buy guns legally.

Not even talking about the unbelievably disgraceful sheriff's performance, or the FBI dropping the ball yet again.

Posted by: rhomboid at December 03, 2021 07:43 PM (OTzUX)

303 298 Posted by: Amy Schumer at December 03, 2021 07:42 PM (flINI)

Sarah Silverman is just not funny, there I said it.

//Kathy Griffin

Posted by: sven at December 03, 2021 07:45 PM (Lzpvj)

304 "Not even talking about the unbelievably disgraceful sheriff's performance, or the FBI dropping the ball yet again."

Yesterday, sheriff was emphatic that this a-hole's threats were unknown to them. He put it all on the school.

Posted by: gp Attempts To Gain Function, And Fails at December 03, 2021 07:45 PM (qpX6U)

305 Poorly as i am informed about either civil or criminal procedure, i don't think "that judge hurted my feewings" is a basis for a mistrial...

Posted by: Introverted Elephocentric Hypochondriac at December 03, 2021 07:52 PM (Ph9wf)

306 Sarah Silverman's best work was in the first five minutes of "The Way of the Gun."

Incidentally, very good pistolmanship by James Caan.

Posted by: butch at December 03, 2021 07:55 PM (cHvOo)

307 They want us to think we are alone.
Posted by: Gentlemen, this is junta manifest at December 03, 2021 07:24 PM (YMBi3)
-----------------

This is why the Reds always make a point of talking about "mass movements" and listing two dozen organizations supporting a given position or demonstration, when in fact it's the permutations and combinations of about two dozen hardcore Reds involved.

Posted by: Deplorable Jay Guevara at December 03, 2021 08:04 PM (2Padd)

308 303 298 Posted by: Amy Schumer at December 03, 2021 07:42 PM (flINI)

Sarah Silverman is just not funny, there I said it.

//Kathy Griffin
Posted by: sven at December 03, 2021 07:45 PM (Lzpvj)
--------------
Funny comediennes constitute a very small and exclusive club.

Posted by: Deplorable Jay Guevara at December 03, 2021 08:05 PM (2Padd)

309 Ok, I'm sure it's been asked already since there are over 300 comments, but why is Silverman wearing a cross?

Posted by: OrangeEnt at December 03, 2021 08:06 PM (7bRMQ)

310 Turned her into a newt.

Posted by: Paul Baker at December 03, 2021 08:08 PM (itzQE)

311 When I first read the defense team's complaints about the trial I flashed back to the attempt to have a debate in middle school Spartans vs Athenians in the social studies classes as a fresh way to get kids to research.

It ended about exactly how you'd expect.

Posted by: Christopher R Taylor at December 03, 2021 07:07 PM (KZzsI)

Thirty odd years of warfare with multiple atrocities leading to the exhaustion of both sides and their conquest by the Latin Club?

Posted by: Oldcat at December 03, 2021 08:33 PM (eoQWY)

312 The defense attorney ran out crying? Lol. I worked in court many years and never saw this.

You're going down, Jussie.

Posted by: pj at December 03, 2021 09:19 PM (G1dq6)

313 In defense of ONE thing about Seth Rogan. He was the creator and show runner for "FutureMan" which for the first two seasons was hillarious.

Posted by: Wickedpinto at December 03, 2021 09:59 PM (Qi8rI)

314 Their fate is more likely Jessie's. To pay for people to attack them so they can pretend they are being crucified. If they keep making this stuff even their dogs will attack them.

Posted by: Harry at December 03, 2021 10:44 PM (EcD5Y)

315 It is worth remembering that Juicy staged this Foot-Long Fiasco with the Obamas.

It was designed to install the Obamas' Mini-me's Harris & Booker in the White House after triumphantly passing the Jussie Smolett Anti-Lynching Act.

Retards.

Posted by: The Gipper Lives at December 04, 2021 07:55 AM (nfLT0)

316 I didn't click 'Dislike' because of white supremacy, I clicked it because there are only so many f-bombs I can put up with in such a short amount of time.

Posted by: aelfheld at December 04, 2021 09:10 AM (Zy9Yy)

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