Football Toys Of Yore

Pro football used to be something I took interest in (before NFL football fields became a showcase for anti-American tantrums), especially when I was a kid. My buddies and I had all the games and toys. Thanksgiving weekend was always the apex of the season, with NFL games on TV all day on Thanksgiving, followed by the Texas-Texas A&M game that night. There were more college “rivalry games” on Friday and Saturday, followed by another full day of NFL on Sunday, wrapping up with a Monday Night Football game.

And we had football toys to tide us over during the other days of the week.

Watching kids of my day play with this toy looked very much like people of today furiously typing on their phones. Thumbs were flying.

Did any of y’all have electric football sets?

Electric Football always looked so fun on the commercials. It was also very exciting setting up all the pieces for the first play…which always ended in a big scrum moving in a slow-motion circle. Then we’d spend a lot of time putting all the players back in place for the 2nd play, with the same result. The average game lasted about 4 plays as I recall.

Electric Football - Riggins at the 50.JPG

Here’s a vintage commercial for NFL Electric Football.

How about NFL Strategy? Did any of y’all ever play this? We had it. As I recall, one player was on offense and one on defense. You’d each pick a card with a play, slide the two cards into the slot, which then revealed a couple possible outcomes, then you’d pull the ball against the spring. Wherever it landed was the outcome of that play and you’d advance the ball accordingly. It was clever for an analog era. I’m pretty sure I called for the Flea Flicker on most plays…I didn’t believe in “three yards and a cloud of dust.”

How about Super Toe? I wanted this game, but Santa never came through for me.

I can verify that even though Nerf footballs are soft and made of foam, they can still break lamps just as effectively as real footballs when throwing passes in the Living Room.

Finally, I haven’t seen Monday Night Football in so long that I couldn’t tell you what the theme song is now, or who the hosts are. But when I was very young, there was nothing more magical than the Monday Night Football intro firing up on a Monday night in Fall. (The video below says “Video Unavailable” but you can watch it if you click on the link.)

Have a great weekend.

[buck.throckmorton at protonmail dot com]

Posted by: Buck Throckmorton at 08:30 PM

Comments

(Jump to bottom of comments)

1 Good evening, horde!

Yeah, that Mattel football game--we were wrapped up in that thing like kids are now with real video games.

Posted by: April -- dash my lace wigs! at November 26, 2021 08:33 PM (OX9vb)

2 Mattel Electronic Football. Its noises used in Supertramp's "Logical Song".

Posted by: Captain Ned at November 26, 2021 08:34 PM (XIfux)

3 And then... Madden computer game... hundreds of hours on that thing.

Posted by: Romeo13 at November 26, 2021 08:34 PM (oHd/0)

4 The best football toy I had was a football. But we sure played the heck out of that Mattel game in college!

Posted by: t-bird at November 26, 2021 08:35 PM (ELgVT)

5 Last video is unavailable

Posted by: Anna Puma at November 26, 2021 08:36 PM (BCnx7)

6 3 And then... Madden computer game... hundreds of hours on that thing.
Posted by: Romeo13 at November 26, 2021 08:34 PM (oHd/0)

But I will admit, you could create a Team of your own, with players of your own...

So I made an entire Team of WHITE GUYS to see if we could win the Superbowl....

Could not without including historic players.

Posted by: Romeo13 at November 26, 2021 08:36 PM (oHd/0)

7 The first one an addiction. We all played it. basically it is typing one button very fast.

I never understood the second one. Some guys had it but like you say, the players just wander around.

I had a game I don't recall the name of. It was football but you used little record disks. The offense picked their play and the defense picked theirs. Then the record told you what happened. It was that way and we liked it, at least for a little while. To be honest, the one thing that lasted until high school was paper football.

Posted by: Quint at November 26, 2021 08:36 PM (NXntH)

8 Electric Football, now 100% more exciting than the real game because no knee taking allowed.

Why? Because the plastic players can't kneel.

Posted by: Anna Puma at November 26, 2021 08:37 PM (BCnx7)

9

lol @ the NFL blocking their content on AoS!

Posted by: Soothsayer -- at November 26, 2021 08:37 PM (jDEAS)

10 I had one of those vibrating football game things. I remember it was good for endless minutes of action-packed fun.

Posted by: Cicero (@cicero43) at November 26, 2021 08:38 PM (VxC1e)

11
AoS is like 'fuck you NFL!'

The NFL is like 'fuck me? no, fuck you!"

Posted by: Soothsayer -- at November 26, 2021 08:38 PM (jDEAS)

12 Had the electric football field. The trick to get the guys to run straight was you had to tweek the little plastic nubs that the base sat on. By bending them, you could change the way the player moved.

My older brother came in drunk one night and stepped on it and broke it though.

Posted by: AshevilleRobert at November 26, 2021 08:38 PM (HBlzO)

13 The videos are only showing up if you click "Comments" and read the post that way. Not sure why. Trying to figure it out.

Posted by: Buck Throckmorton at November 26, 2021 08:38 PM (d9Cw3)

14 I had a couple of electric vibrating football games in my life. They never did go where they were supposed to

Posted by: Skip at November 26, 2021 08:39 PM (2JoB8)

15 I still have my Coleco Electronic Quarterback game.

Posted by: Mark1971 at November 26, 2021 08:39 PM (xPl2J)

16 I never understood the second one. Some guys had it but like you say, the players just wander around.

Posted by: Quint

Reminded me of Python's Philosopher Football.

Posted by: Tonypete at November 26, 2021 08:39 PM (mD/uy)

17 Why is that Stormtrooper looking up at Super Toe?

Posted by: Anna Puma at November 26, 2021 08:39 PM (BCnx7)

18 4 The best football toy I had was a football. But we sure played the heck out of that Mattel game in college!
Posted by: t-bird at November 26, 2021 08:35 PM (ELgVT)

Sunday afternoon Tackle Football games were a staple of my youth.

Started doing it in 7th grade with a bunch of friends... my Senior Year of Highschool, 4 or 5 of us was on the Football team... most of the others did other sports.

Went to the High School to do our normal game and ran into most of the Varsity Football team... and it became a game.... where we kicked their ass. They then asked why we had not played football?

Simple... you all made fun of this little Nerd with braces and glasses... who ran track and was a Pole Vaulter.

Posted by: Romeo13 at November 26, 2021 08:39 PM (oHd/0)

19 MNF isn't MNF without Hank jr.

Posted by: Prince Ludwig the Deplorable at November 26, 2021 08:40 PM (PTevG)

20 I have the handheld game up top and the super toe. All I have is the kicker. No ball or goal post.

Posted by: 2Dogs at November 26, 2021 08:40 PM (Dad7I)

21 We did have many games in yard with Nerf footballs

Posted by: Skip at November 26, 2021 08:40 PM (2JoB8)

22 14 I had a couple of electric vibrating football games in my life. They never did go where they were supposed to
Posted by: Skip at November 26, 2021 08:39 PM (2JoB

Is that what she said about the NFL Brand Vibrator?

Posted by: Romeo13 at November 26, 2021 08:40 PM (oHd/0)

23 Hockey, by it's nature, was much more amenable to being made into a tabletop game than football.

Posted by: Alberta Oil Peon at November 26, 2021 08:41 PM (P3gRi)

24
Y'all still eating that awful Mayonnaise crap?
Miracle Whip? That's the Margarine of mayonnaises!

Avocado Mayonnaise is the good stuff, if you must.
Stop eating that SOY mayo!

Posted by: Soothsayer -- at November 26, 2021 08:41 PM (jDEAS)

25 I liked the electric football game where each opponent had play cards for both defense and offense. Both players would select and put their card in the slot and slide the arrow to their selected play . The arrows were each connected to a bar under the field and where they intersected determined the outcome of the play. The written outcome would be lighted up from under the field to read when you pushed the lever.

Posted by: Just a side note at November 26, 2021 08:41 PM (xIkNd)

26
Tabletop football >>>> Electric football.

Especially when you put the extra point kick into your opponent's eye.

Posted by: Hadrian the Seventh at November 26, 2021 08:41 PM (/U27+)

27 Strat-O-Matic Football (and Baseball)

The '70 49er's: the dice loved them...and I say that as a (at the time) Browns fan.

Posted by: browndog Official Mascot of Team Gizzard at November 26, 2021 08:41 PM (BgMrQ)

28 19 MNF isn't MNF without Hank jr.
Posted by: Prince Ludwig the Deplorable at November 26, 2021 08:40 PM (PTevG)

/Fistbump

And Howard Coselle.

Posted by: Romeo13 at November 26, 2021 08:42 PM (oHd/0)

29 Especially when you put the extra point kick into your opponent's eye.

"Careful kid, you'll put your eye out."

Posted by: Anna Puma at November 26, 2021 08:42 PM (BCnx7)

30 Howard Coselle and The Count from Sesame Street

Separated at birth?

Posted by: Anna Puma at November 26, 2021 08:43 PM (BCnx7)

31 We still have the Mattel thng somewhere. Funny story about the nerf football. Kind of blue so i will save it for later.

Posted by: Javems at November 26, 2021 08:43 PM (AmoqO)

32 The Nerf football knocked over many a lamp in our house.

They rarely survived for long; too toothsome to the dog.

Posted by: All Hail Eris, Sans-Culottes (except for the Book Thread) at November 26, 2021 08:43 PM (Dc2NZ)

33
Hellman's "real mayonnaise" is real, alright. Real trash.

It's real Soy.

Terrible oil. Terrible.
Soy is the communism of oils.

Posted by: Soothsayer -- at November 26, 2021 08:43 PM (jDEAS)

34 I had a couple of electric vibrating football games in my life. They never did go where they were supposed to
Posted by: Skip at November 26, 2021 08:39 PM (2JoB

Gee, now I want an electric vibrating football!

Posted by: Pete Bootygig at November 26, 2021 08:43 PM (P3gRi)

35 I believe my dad still has foto electric football and baseball somewhere upstairs

Posted by: A dude in MI at November 26, 2021 08:43 PM (/6GbT)

36 In 1978 I used the TRS-80 my high school had to write a program that played football. You had various plays to choose from on offense, and different defensive setups (4-3, nickel, LB blitz, corner blitz, man or zone, etc. ) You would get random penalties of various kinds as well.

I wasn't allowed to actually take the programming course, as you needed to have passed a certain advanced math class before you could take it. But the teacher let me use the machine after school. All the kids taking the actual class were amazed that I was writing that program without any formal training.

Posted by: AshevilleRobert at November 26, 2021 08:44 PM (HBlzO)

37 35 I believe my dad still has foto electric football and baseball somewhere upstairs
Posted by: A dude in MI at November 26, 2021 08:43 PM (/6GbT)

Well damn! Go get them out and PLAY!

Memories like that should not be left on the shelf.

Posted by: Romeo13 at November 26, 2021 08:44 PM (oHd/0)

38 32 The Nerf football knocked over many a lamp in our house.

---------

Mom always said, don't play ball in the house.

Posted by: Bobby Brady at November 26, 2021 08:44 PM (VxC1e)

39 I played NFL Strategy with my brother. It was fun for about an hour. Then it dragged.

Posted by: NaCly Dog (u82oZ) at November 26, 2021 08:45 PM (u82oZ)

40 Now days I find the drama surrounding the nfl more interesting than the game itself.

For example, Aaron Rodgers. From the drafting of Jordan Love to A-Rod's toe, it's one big clusterfuck of a train wreck I can't stop watching.

Posted by: davidt at November 26, 2021 08:45 PM (0hbQ6)

41 32 The Nerf football knocked over many a lamp in our house.

---------

Ow! My nose!

Posted by: Marcia Brady at November 26, 2021 08:46 PM (VxC1e)

42 Mom always said, don't play ball in the house.
Posted by: Bobby Brady

Dad always said "just play ball anywhere, so I know you're not... odd."

Posted by: Bobby Hill at November 26, 2021 08:46 PM (PTevG)

43 Strat-O-Matic Football (and Baseball)

The '70 49er's: the dice loved them...and I say that as a (at the time) Browns fan.
Posted by: browndog Official Mascot of Team Gizzard at November 26, 2021 08:41 PM (BgMrQ)

Not in my paper football game. The Dolphins were really good and had some long TDs and inteception results.

I could always read my little brother when he was blitzing and screens went all the way. I beat him in one game 204-20 or some such.

Posted by: Oldcat at November 26, 2021 08:47 PM (eoQWY)

44 Plastic baseball bat and ball game > Nerf Football

Posted by: Just a side note at November 26, 2021 08:47 PM (xIkNd)

45 For you model builders out there.

Jeff V is having a one day only Black Friday 30% off sale - https://jefvcornerstore.com

Sprue Brothers until the 28th is having a Black Friday Sale on model kits only - https://spruebrothers.com/

Posted by: Anna Puma at November 26, 2021 08:48 PM (BCnx7)

46 44 Plastic baseball bat and ball game > Nerf Football
Posted by: Just a side note at November 26, 2021 08:47 PM (xIkNd)

Plastic? /eyeroll.

The neighborhood parents were actually OK with us playing ball in the street... and as they ALL had kids? a broken window was not that big of a deal.

But that was a long damn time ago.

Posted by: Romeo13 at November 26, 2021 08:49 PM (oHd/0)

47 Remember the triangle footballs that you made out of paper? I think I played that game in school over many more years than all those flash-in-the-pan commercial games.

Posted by: t-bird at November 26, 2021 08:49 PM (1vynn)

48 Street hockey played with a whiffle ball is the best saturday afternoon game. Ever.

Posted by: CrotchetyOldJarhead at November 26, 2021 08:50 PM (fLri9)

49 Had Battlestar Galactica Space Alert game back in the 70s. Stupid mindless fun.

Posted by: Darth Randall at November 26, 2021 08:50 PM (3TihK)

50 Plastic baseball bat and ball game > Nerf Football
Posted by: Just a side note at November 26, 2021 08:47 PM (xIkNd)

Plastic? /eyeroll.

The neighborhood parents were actually OK with us playing ball in the street... and as they ALL had kids? a broken window was not that big of a deal.

But that was a long damn time ago.

Posted by: Romeo13 at November 26, 2021 08:49 PM (oHd/0)

i broke one with a basketball once.

Posted by: Quint at November 26, 2021 08:50 PM (NXntH)

51 Oh, and had a Basketball hoop on the garage roof...

Problem was that our driveway was not level... so it really screwed us up for normal basketball.

Posted by: Romeo13 at November 26, 2021 08:50 PM (oHd/0)

52 I was a member of a card and dice football league. The cards had your player's stat. For example, Joe Montana was my quarterback. The offense would call a play and select the players involved. Dice would determine the outcome with reference to the stats on the cards. That's right. I was cool.

Posted by: Anonosaurus Wrecks Now With Pumpkin Spice! at November 26, 2021 08:51 PM (FVME7)

53 I had the best electronic football game in the 80s. Bambino. It was awesome. Kids at school loved it.

https://tinyurl.com/yc3f9eb6

Posted by: Taqiyyologist, Rickrolled by Jesus at November 26, 2021 08:51 PM (OssQ4)

54 47 Remember the triangle footballs that you made out of paper? I think I played that game in school over many more years than all those flash-in-the-pan commercial games.
Posted by: t-bird at November 26, 2021 08:49 PM (1vynn)

Yup, many, many High School Lunches.

Posted by: Romeo13 at November 26, 2021 08:51 PM (oHd/0)

55 I had one of first Madden Computer games, made up schedule and played season out, did it a few years.

Posted by: Skip at November 26, 2021 08:51 PM (2JoB8)

56 Remember the triangle footballs that you made out of paper? I think I played that game in school over many more years than all those flash-in-the-pan commercial games.

Posted by: t-bird at November 26, 2021 08:49 PM (1vynn)

same. the only thing more popular was pencil fighting.

Posted by: Quint at November 26, 2021 08:51 PM (NXntH)

57 I could play--and beat!--anyone on that Mattell electronic football game using only my nose.

Posted by: moviegique at November 26, 2021 08:52 PM (asXVI)

58 52 I was a member of a card and dice football league. The cards had your player's stat. For example, Joe Montana was my quarterback. The offense would call a play and select the players involved. Dice would determine the outcome with reference to the stats on the cards. That's right. I was cool.

Posted by: Anonosaurus Wrecks Now With Pumpkin Spice! at November 26, 2021 08:51 PM (FVME7)

Sports Nerd Status, confirmed.

We are not worthy!

/bows

Posted by: Romeo13 at November 26, 2021 08:52 PM (oHd/0)

59 >>Street hockey played with a whiffle ball is the best saturday afternoon game. Ever.

In junior and high school I lived on street that was loaded with kids around my age and this was during the time when hockey was king in the Boston area.

In the winter we played hockey on the pond at the end of the street but when there was no ice we were playing street hockey. Constantly.

Posted by: JackStraw at November 26, 2021 08:52 PM (ZLI7S)

60
Do kids today even know how to make a Paper Plane?

Posted by: Soothsayer -- at November 26, 2021 08:52 PM (jDEAS)

61 I guess it's now considered in bad form to announce a nood? You people...

Posted by: Notorious BFD at November 26, 2021 08:53 PM (Xrfse)

62 If I remember right there was a tiny felt white color football for the electric football as a ball.

Posted by: Skip at November 26, 2021 08:54 PM (2JoB8)

63 55 I had one of first Madden Computer games, made up schedule and played season out, did it a few years.
Posted by: Skip at November 26, 2021 08:51 PM (2JoB

Yeah, lets just say that if Madden were reality, I would be a top ranked QB.... LOL.

Posted by: Romeo13 at November 26, 2021 08:54 PM (oHd/0)

64 Do kids today even know how to make a Paper Plane?
Posted by: Soothsayer -- at November 26, 2021 08:52 PM (jDEAS)

Well, duh! Of course. You use a plane paper copier.

Posted by: A Millennial at November 26, 2021 08:55 PM (P3gRi)

65 Hey thanks for the thread Buck!

My fave toy of all time, I think, was the HO-scale racing sets. I had a Tyco set from 1972 I believe.

They took forever to set up and didn't work so well, but when I could get those two cars to stay on the track and really race, I had fun.

Posted by: qdpsteve at November 26, 2021 08:55 PM (L2ZTs)

66 62 If I remember right there was a tiny felt white color football for the electric football as a ball.
Posted by: Skip at November 26, 2021 08:54 PM (2JoB

Yup. but we used to put a half peanut in ... and whoever scored got to eat the peanut.

Posted by: Romeo13 at November 26, 2021 08:56 PM (oHd/0)

67 Posted by: JackStraw at November 26, 2021 08:52 PM (ZLI7S)

Pond hockey! Frozen feet, runny noses and bruises, and hot cider. For the win!

Posted by: CrotchetyOldJarhead at November 26, 2021 08:56 PM (fLri9)

68 Do kids today even know how to make a Paper Plane?

Well, duh, you lay it flat.

Posted by: That Guy On Big Bang Theory at November 26, 2021 08:56 PM (1vynn)

69 Notorious BFD

248 by April. Do keep up.

Posted by: NaCly Dog (u82oZ) at November 26, 2021 08:57 PM (u82oZ)

70 Had a slot car set, probably 72'

Posted by: Skip at November 26, 2021 08:57 PM (2JoB8)

71 65 Hey thanks for the thread Buck!

My fave toy of all time, I think, was the HO-scale racing sets. I had a Tyco set from 1972 I believe.

They took forever to set up and didn't work so well, but when I could get those two cars to stay on the track and really race, I had fun.
Posted by: qdpsteve at November 26, 2021 08:55 PM (L2ZTs)

/fistbump

Had the Triple Level HO set I got for Christmas when I was ... 6? Mom hated it, so after that we went to Hot Wheels...

Posted by: Romeo13 at November 26, 2021 08:57 PM (oHd/0)

72
Pond hockey! Frozen feet, runny noses and bruises, and hot cider. For the win!
Posted by: CrotchetyOldJarhead at November 26, 2021 08:56 PM (fLri9)

_______

My brother hit me in the leg with a slap shot. 50 years later it still hurts in cold weather.

Posted by: Hadrian the Seventh at November 26, 2021 08:58 PM (/U27+)

73 Do keep up.

I'm...I'm so ashamed.

Posted by: Notorious BFD at November 26, 2021 08:59 PM (Xrfse)

74 I'm...I'm so ashamed.
Posted by: Notorious BFD

No worries. The shame is part of the kink.

Posted by: Tonypete at November 26, 2021 08:59 PM (mD/uy)

75 My brother hit me in the leg with a slap shot. 50 years later it still hurts in cold weather.
Posted by: Hadrian the Seventh at November 26, 2021 08:58 PM (/U27+)

Well... Bamboo Spears. 13 year Olds. Scars.... some assembly required...

Posted by: Romeo13 at November 26, 2021 08:59 PM (oHd/0)

76 I could cry remembering all the Hot Wheels and Matchbox cars I had, all gone

Posted by: Skip at November 26, 2021 08:59 PM (2JoB8)

77 >>Pond hockey! Frozen feet, runny noses and bruises, and hot cider. For the win!

It was the best. I had as much fun playing pond hockey as playing organized hockey. And we never had to ask if there was going to be a game. There was always a game.

Posted by: JackStraw at November 26, 2021 08:59 PM (ZLI7S)

78 We ran around in NY traffic playing Ringolevio and played Skully games in the street. Just about everyone of us was hit by a car at one time or another. A miracle we all survived.

Posted by: IrishEi at November 26, 2021 08:59 PM (7b2L9)

79 Getting tired. Had a nephew that was an emergency room nurse at Mercy Hospital in New Orleans, now closed. There were many cases of people comming in with things stuck up their butt.

One of those things was a nerf football one night. The emergency room Doc would, when passing by the guy's room wold yell, "hut, hut....hut!".

Posted by: Javems at November 26, 2021 09:00 PM (AmoqO)

80 "Foto-electric Football" had a light bulb under the football field. The offensive play you picked showed the runner's path from the light and your defensive play showed the defense.

Played for hours in the early 60s.

Posted by: JM in Florida at November 26, 2021 09:01 PM (HCeRP)

81 IrishEi

Impressive!

Posted by: NaCly Dog (u82oZ) at November 26, 2021 09:01 PM (u82oZ)

82 The rotating running back in vibrator football was a feature, not a bug.

This was a game not anything like the original. Letting the play run until it hit the side or stopped. Victory formation was the most effective offensive formation, zone the best defense.

Posted by: Auspex at November 26, 2021 09:01 PM (Xo3T0)

83 78 We ran around in NY traffic playing Ringolevio and played Skully games in the street. Just about everyone of us was hit by a car at one time or another. A miracle we all survived.
Posted by: IrishEi at November 26, 2021 08:59 PM (7b2L9)

My block was mostly Military Kids. 35 Kids on our block, all within 5 years of age (including us 4).

The Hide and go Seek Games? Epic.

Posted by: Romeo13 at November 26, 2021 09:01 PM (oHd/0)

84 Slot cars!
Got one in '70?
Anyway, still functional for my kids to play with it in the early '90's.
Had to sandpaper the rails, but the cars still reacted to silicon lube... Fly off the track fast!

Posted by: MkY at November 26, 2021 09:02 PM (Foq6I)

85 Javems

LOL! Million to one chance.

Posted by: NaCly Dog (u82oZ) at November 26, 2021 09:02 PM (u82oZ)

86 I'm so old, I remember (and played) the ancient football card game (light bulb illuminated) "Gridiron". Offense and defense each had a deck of play cards with popular plays printed on them and the scrimmage would start with both cards on the "field" and illuminated by the light bulb. A lot more fun than the vibrator game.

Posted by: mrp at November 26, 2021 09:03 PM (6eRlp)

87 Posted by: Auspex at November 26, 2021 09:01 PM (Xo3T0)

Most kids did not understand that you could, to a small extent, control your players actions by moving the little 'feelers' on their base.

Making them move straight, or in one specific direction by carefully bending them.

Posted by: Romeo13 at November 26, 2021 09:03 PM (oHd/0)

88 Romeo13

Oh, we knew. We were not careful.

Posted by: NaCly Dog (u82oZ) at November 26, 2021 09:04 PM (u82oZ)

89 Could not without including historic players.
Posted by: Romeo13

You know, it's funny but a lot of the older "famous players" were not THAT big. The players now are just a lot bigger.
If you watch old highlight films of long runs by Jim Brown, it was not unusual for one of his linemen to be running along with him, throwing blocks.
Gene Hickerson, Dick Schafrath, those guys were 250-260 lb and were good athletes that made down field blocks. Dick was my Republican State Senator years ago.

Posted by: Bozo Conservative...Living on the Prison Planet at November 26, 2021 09:07 PM (tjZg/)

90 I went on a shopping trip, and a car show broke out. So I parked the Studebaker in the show (there were 3 others!), and chatted with nice folks for 3 hours. And I got a Let's Go Brandon! T shirt for ten dollars.

Posted by: Alberta Oil Peon at November 26, 2021 09:08 PM (P3gRi)

91 A lot more fun than the vibrator game.
Posted by: mrp at November 26, 2021 09:03 PM (6eRlp)

---------

Maybe you weren't doing the vibrator game right.

Posted by: Marcia Brady at November 26, 2021 09:09 PM (VxC1e)

92 Anybody else play Hot Peas & Butter? Person who is "It" hides a belt, rest of the players search for it. Whoever finds it screams, "Hot peas and butter!!!" and chases the rest of the players, and whacks with the belt any player who hasn't made it back to base. In traffic. Again.

Posted by: IrishEi at November 26, 2021 09:09 PM (7b2L9)

93 "Most kids did not understand that you could, to a small extent, control your players actions by moving the little 'feelers' on their base.

Making them move straight, or in one specific direction by carefully bending them.

Posted by: Romeo13 "

As I mentioned above. You could also keep track of which numbers acted which way, and line up 2 blockers side by side, the one on the left wanted to pull right, and the one on the right side vise-versa. Together they'd go straight.

Posted by: AshevilleRobert at November 26, 2021 09:09 PM (HBlzO)

94 70 Had a slot car set, probably 72'
Posted by: Skip at November 26, 2021 08:57 PM (2JoB

I had a slot car set '65ish I think...

I remember the Jimmy Clark Lotus. I loved those open cockpit racers.

Posted by: browndog Official Mascot of Team Gizzard at November 26, 2021 09:09 PM (BgMrQ)

95 That walk home after a long day of pond hockey...sweaty, tired and cold and coming into the warm kitchen...

Posted by: CrotchetyOldJarhead at November 26, 2021 09:10 PM (fLri9)

96 Average NFL team value increase about 15% last year
Football has the oldest age fans their fans are dying off
It is really just something now to bet on
No one cares about who wins, just who beats the spread

Posted by: Kurt at November 26, 2021 09:11 PM (S5D3g)

97 I remember the Jimmy Clark Lotus. I loved those open cockpit racers.
Posted by: browndog Official Mascot of Team Gizzard at November 26, 2021 09:09 PM (BgMrQ)

I had an Eldon slot car set. Pretty basic, but it was fun.

Posted by: Alberta Oil Peon at November 26, 2021 09:11 PM (P3gRi)

98 One good thing about pond hockey was when you got hit in the face with a frozen puck you could stop the bleeding with a snowball and not have to go home.

Posted by: dartist at November 26, 2021 09:11 PM (+ya+t)

99 >>Anybody else play Hot Peas & Butter? Person who is "It" hides a belt, rest of the players search for it. Whoever finds it screams, "Hot peas and butter!!!" and chases the rest of the players, and whacks with the belt any player who hasn't made it back to base. In traffic. Again.

I've never even heard of the games you played.

Did you play any normal American games?

Posted by: JackStraw at November 26, 2021 09:11 PM (ZLI7S)

100
Speaking of today's damned kids..
the "parenting column" feature on the leftist webzine "Salon" gets worse and worse.

Grievance after grievance. Salon's "In The Know" is what their parenting advice column is unironically called.

Salon's "In The Know" is like a Tik-Tok video in text.

Posted by: Soothsayer -- at November 26, 2021 09:12 PM (jDEAS)

101 I knew a guy who played offensive guard for the Bills who was not as tall as I am, but he did outweigh me by about 50 pounds. I weighed 188 at 6'2" at the time.

Posted by: Eromero at November 26, 2021 09:12 PM (0OP+5)

102 "Foto-electric Football" had a light bulb under the football field. The offensive play you picked showed the runner's path from the light and your defensive play showed the defense.

Played for hours in the early 60s.

Posted by: JM in Florida at November 26, 2021 09:01 PM (HCeRP)

That's the one. The light bulb made the set very hot.

Posted by: mrp at November 26, 2021 09:12 PM (6eRlp)

103 My kids had a hockey game, along the lines of a tabletop foosball in that the players were on sliding rods but these could go back and forth. The goalie was on a slide that moved sideways.

Posted by: Lirio100 at November 26, 2021 09:12 PM (uFOGo)

104 Have a great night, everyone. With or without tackling.

Posted by: NaCly Dog (u82oZ) at November 26, 2021 09:12 PM (u82oZ)

105 Average NFL team value increase about 15% last year
Football has the oldest age fans their fans are dying off
It is really just something now to bet on
No one cares about who wins, just who beats the spread
Posted by: Kurt at November 26, 2021 09:11 PM (S5D3g)

OK, who are you, and what have you done with the incoherent Kurt we all know and love? You are making sense. Must be an impostor.

Posted by: Alberta Oil Peon at November 26, 2021 09:12 PM (P3gRi)

106 92 Anybody else play Hot Peas & Butter? Person who is "It" hides a belt, rest of the players search for it. Whoever finds it screams, "Hot peas and butter!!!" and chases the rest of the players, and whacks with the belt any player who hasn't made it back to base. In traffic. Again.

Posted by: IrishEi at November 26, 2021 09:09 PM (7b2L9)

--------------------------------

Suddenly, Calvinball seems sensible and well-ordered.

Posted by: Pennsyltucky at November 26, 2021 09:13 PM (lNHqD)

107 Meant to say he played for the Bills when Simpson went to the team.

Posted by: Eromero at November 26, 2021 09:13 PM (0OP+5)

108 You know, it's funny but a lot of the older "famous players" were not THAT big. The players now are just a lot bigger.
If you watch old highlight films of long runs by Jim Brown, it was not unusual for one of his linemen to be running along with him, throwing blocks.
Gene Hickerson, Dick Schafrath, those guys were 250-260 lb and were good athletes that made down field blocks. Dick was my Republican State Senator years ago.
Posted by: Bozo Conservative...Living on the Prison Planet at November 26, 2021 09:07 PM (tjZg/)

Ahhh, back in the good ol' days.

Bill Glass, Jim Houston, Dick Modzelewski...

***sigh***

Posted by: browndog Official Mascot of Team Gizzard at November 26, 2021 09:13 PM (BgMrQ)

109 The Hide and go Seek Games? Epic.
Posted by: Romeo13 at November 26, 2021 09:01 PM (oHd/0)
~~~~~

Like Manhunt?

Posted by: IrishEi at November 26, 2021 09:13 PM (7b2L9)

110 Bill Bates.

Posted by: Quint at November 26, 2021 09:14 PM (NXntH)

111
A sample from Salon:

"Weaponized Incompetence"

These people must spend 12 hours a day inventing new phrases.

"Weaponized Incompetence" is husbands who "pretend" not to know how to perform household chores such as laundry and cooking, thus enslaving their wives.

Posted by: Soothsayer -- at November 26, 2021 09:15 PM (jDEAS)

112 Meant to say he played for the Bills when Simpson went to the team.
Posted by: Eromero

Yeah, they used to call his offensive line "The Electric Company" because they moved "the Juice".

Talking about O.J. Simpson, well, that's a stab from the past.

Posted by: Bozo Conservative...Living on the Prison Planet at November 26, 2021 09:15 PM (tjZg/)

113 Everyone, you might find this interesting.

Shooting (almost) captured on video, from Lubbock TX. Looks like another case of a woman not letting her ex see their son.

I learned about it at Patterico but here's a link to a source that isn't him. The link is to Lubbock Online. Patterico is asking if this hot mess counts as self-defense or not. The shooter (who is apparently the woman's boyfriend) yells "leave!" and then shoots the super-macho challenging father.

https://tinyurl.com/2p8j24w4

Posted by: qdpsteve at November 26, 2021 09:15 PM (L2ZTs)

114 I don't remember any of those games - just an old foosball table we had in the basement. My brothers played foosball a lot.

I was much better at pinball. When I was a young 'un I'd inevitably end up playing pinball in bars if they had a pinball machine.

Posted by: Donnav&&&&&&&V at November 26, 2021 09:15 PM (HabA/)

115 "Weaponized Incompetence" is husbands who "pretend" not to know how to perform household chores such as laundry and cooking, thus enslaving their wives.
Posted by: Soothsayer -- at November 26, 2021 09:15 PM (jDEAS)

also accurately describes Obama and Bidens process for filling Cabinet positions.

Posted by: Alberta Oil Peon at November 26, 2021 09:16 PM (P3gRi)

116 Anyone else play that game where you lured someone to your remote island and "let them go", and then hunted them down?

Posted by: moviegique at November 26, 2021 09:16 PM (asXVI)

117 Did you play any normal American games?
Posted by: JackStraw at November 26, 2021 09:11 PM (ZLI7S)
~~~~~

We didn't play any namby-pamby games like all you privileged people.

Posted by: IrishEi at November 26, 2021 09:16 PM (7b2L9)

118 Joe Biden has weaponized incontinence.

Posted by: qdpsteve at November 26, 2021 09:17 PM (L2ZTs)

119 Never played any electronic football games as a kid. But played the paper triangle football for hours.

Posted by: FriscoYoda at November 26, 2021 09:17 PM (+56GQ)

120
Posted by: Kunt at November 26, 2021 09:11 PM (S5D3g)

No, dunce. Wrong again.
That doesn't explain the millions in sales for NFL merch.

Posted by: Soothsayer -- at November 26, 2021 09:17 PM (jDEAS)

121 I had an Eldon slot car set. Pretty basic, but it was fun.
Posted by: Alberta Oil Peon at November 26, 2021 09:11 PM (P3gRi)

If I recollect correctly, my track was a figure eight, with a chicane...

These were "big' models. Later on I graduated to the smaller versions, and started to trick the cars out with slicks, re-wired the armatures to try and gain a little speed.

I can smell the hot, acrid, electric essence in the air even now...

Posted by: browndog Official Mascot of Team Gizzard at November 26, 2021 09:19 PM (BgMrQ)

122 "Weaponized Incompetence" is husbands who "pretend" not to know how to perform household chores such as laundry and cooking, thus enslaving their wives.
Posted by: Soothsayer

I thought that was called "winning at life".
"Sorry I fucked up the laundry honey, but as the media has spent decades telling you, I'm an incompetent boob who can't do anything right. I guess you'll just have to do it. Now be a cupcake & bring me a beer."

Posted by: Prince Ludwig the Deplorable at November 26, 2021 09:19 PM (PTevG)

123 I had all three games! Electric football was fun in theory, and in the setting up, but yeah, that tweet about riggins going in circles had me in howls of laughter. NFL Strategy was cool. It really got me into understanding the game better. Some aspects of the game are a bit contrived, devoid of non-football issues, American football is a great spectator sport.

Posted by: SFGoth at November 26, 2021 09:21 PM (KAi1n)

124 BB gun fights. I had a Sheridan and was our team's designated sniper. Had to keep it at 5 pumps.

Posted by: bill in arkansas, not gonna comply with nuttin, waiting for the 0300 knock on the door at November 26, 2021 09:21 PM (C1Lsn)

125 114 I don't remember any of those games - just an old foosball table we had in the basement. My brothers played foosball a lot.
I was much better at pinball. When I was a young 'un I'd inevitably end up playing pinball in bars if they had a pinball machine.
Posted by: Donnav&&&&&&&V at November 26, 2021 09:15 PM (HabA/)

Ahh Foos...I got hooked on that game second semester of freshman year. My grades...not so good...

Posted by: browndog Official Mascot of Team Gizzard at November 26, 2021 09:21 PM (BgMrQ)

126 115 "Weaponized Incompetence" is husbands who "pretend" not to know how to perform household chores such as laundry and cooking, thus enslaving their wives.
Posted by: Soothsayer -- at November 26, 2021 09:15 PM (jDEAS)

My dad didn't know how to do any of that stuff (well, except for making chili and goulash and cooking stuff on the grill.)

He did know how to mow the lawn, shovel the sidewalk, do simple household and car repairs and chores. He also killed a bunch of spiders for my mom. Did my mom have "weaponized incompetence" because she didn't know how to change the oil or use a hammer?

Posted by: Donnav&&&&&&&V at November 26, 2021 09:21 PM (HabA/)

127
Show of hands:

How many here have turned their laundry "pink?"

How many here have put their wife's sweater in the dryer?

Posted by: Soothsayer -- at November 26, 2021 09:21 PM (jDEAS)

128 My 3 brothers and I turned everything into a game especially when we were stuck indoors. We tied string across a bed and tried copying the Fosbury Flop high jump and broke the bed twice. The ol man wasn't even that mad until the 2nd one.

Posted by: dartist at November 26, 2021 09:21 PM (+ya+t)

129 In the winter we played hockey on the pond at the end of the street but when there was no ice we were playing street hockey. Constantly.
Posted by: JackStraw at November 26, 2021 08:52 PM (ZLI7S)

We had a small rink near the Little League field. Most of the year it was a grassy oval with a berm about 1 foot high as the rink sides. About mid December the parks department would flood the oval and the freezing weather would create the rink. That was it. Some kids had hockey gear but most of us just skated or at least tried to. There was a nice warming hut next to the rink.

By mid March the warming hut was closed and the rink melted away.

Posted by: Beartooth at November 26, 2021 09:22 PM (KTaZ8)

130 127
Show of hands:
How many here have turned their laundry "pink?"
How many here have put their wife's sweater in the dryer?
Posted by: Soothsayer -- at November 26, 2021 09:21 PM (jDEAS)

No to the first

Yes to the second....it was a long couple of days after that, let me tell you!

Posted by: browndog Official Mascot of Team Gizzard at November 26, 2021 09:23 PM (BgMrQ)

131 Passing in electric vibrating football was weird. There was a special passing QB. I can't recall exactly how the "throwing" arm was configured, but it mostly worked. The big frustration was that jamming the felt football with a split to fit onto the passing QB's arm gave you an unusable felt blob after a half-dozen throws. And only a few of those footballs came in the set. Oh, well, I passed many hours in the winters with those things, mostly tinkering with the brushes in the base to make them go mostly straight.

Posted by: Gref at November 26, 2021 09:23 PM (AMIL/)

132 "Anybody else play Hot Peas & Butter?"

Yes. Go on.

Posted by: Shep at November 26, 2021 09:23 PM (0hbQ6)

133 >>Ahh Foos...I got hooked on that game second semester of freshman year. My grades...not so good...

We had a Foosball table in my frat. Also a keg system.

We played way too much Foos.

Posted by: JackStraw at November 26, 2021 09:23 PM (ZLI7S)

134 How many here have put their wife's sweater in the dryer?
Posted by: Soothsayer -- at November 26, 2021 09:21 PM (jDEAS)

---------

*raises hand*

*giggles*

Posted by: Lactatin' Pete at November 26, 2021 09:24 PM (VxC1e)

135 Joe Biden has weaponized incontinence.
Posted by: qdpsteve

Incontinence, incompetence, incoherence, intolerance, insanity, iniquity, ineptitude...

Posted by: Mortimer Duke at November 26, 2021 09:24 PM (V5yAF)

136
Ladies, you gotta admit, the tiny sweaters are so cute!

Posted by: Soothsayer -- at November 26, 2021 09:25 PM (jDEAS)

137 OK, maybe someone can help me with this.

I saw a game advertised on TV in the '70s. Players were football team owners, working to build their teams.

In one scene, someone apparently traded for a player, then drew a card that said the player would need knee surgery.

If anybody recognizes this description, what was the name of the game?

Posted by: Weak Geek at November 26, 2021 09:25 PM (Om/di)

138 The second version of Mattel football in the green case had an odd quirk - if Team A ran the ball backward far enough to get tackled in the end zone for a safety, Team B would kick off back to Team A! Easy hack to run out the clock in a competitive situation, if the game survived the Team B player throwing it in rage once he figured out he'd been screwed over.

Posted by: Schnorflepuppy at November 26, 2021 09:25 PM (Agr8U)

139 Ladies, you gotta admit, the tiny sweaters are so cute!

Posted by: Soothsayer -- at November 26, 2021 09:25 PM (jDEAS)

And tight!

Posted by: mrp at November 26, 2021 09:25 PM (6eRlp)

140 I had the Mattel Football, my brother had the Baseball. Both were amazingly fun for just a few blinking led's.

Posted by: irright at November 26, 2021 09:25 PM (BB7pQ)

141 BB gun fights. I had a Sheridan and was our team's designated sniper. Had to keep it at 5 pumps.
--------
We did that as kids. Red rider BB guns only. No pumps. I had a nice Sheridan pellet gun that could kill rabbits and squirrels. And grasshoppers. I don't remember putting more than 5 pumps in it. I'm not sure I was able. It was very stiff by 5.

Posted by: Drc at November 26, 2021 09:25 PM (llGBY)

142 133 >>Ahh Foos...I got hooked on that game second semester of freshman year. My grades...not so good...
We had a Foosball table in my frat. Also a keg system.
We played way too much Foos.
Posted by: JackStraw at November 26, 2021 09:23 PM (ZLI7S)

OMG yes...

There was always someone available to play. The damn guys in my frat from Nova Scotia were savants at Foos. Well damn near any bar game truth be told.

Posted by: browndog Official Mascot of Team Gizzard at November 26, 2021 09:26 PM (BgMrQ)

143 In one scene, someone apparently traded for a player, then drew a card that said the player would need knee surgery.

If anybody recognizes this description, what was the name of the game?

Posted by: Weak Geek

Stratego.

Posted by: davidt at November 26, 2021 09:26 PM (0hbQ6)

144 My 3 brothers and I turned everything into a game especially when we were stuck indoors. We tied string across a bed and tried copying the Fosbury Flop high jump and broke the bed twice. The ol man wasn't even that mad until the 2nd one.
Posted by: dartist at November 26, 2021 09:21 PM (+ya+t)
Fosbury ruined our grade school track team. Nobody wanted to go over the traditional way, and nobody could do the flop.

Posted by: MkY at November 26, 2021 09:27 PM (Foq6I)

145 . It was very stiff by 5.
Posted by: Drc at November 26, 2021 09:25 PM (llGBY)

You don't say...

Posted by: Shep Smith at November 26, 2021 09:27 PM (BgMrQ)

146 You don't do the laundry right. Stop doing it.

Oh, no. Seriously? Well, if you say so...

Posted by: Cat Ass Trophy at November 26, 2021 09:28 PM (q91FV)

147 Off topic - I am in the book of Mark now, and amazed all over again at what Jesus was telling these people. "I am the good shepherd. I am the gate. I am the living water. I am the bread of life." Do you guys realize how blasphemous that sounded to the Pharisees? He actually said he was the living water. It's no wonder they put Him to death.

Anyone who says Jesus was just a great moral thinker has a lot to explain. (I do notice those are the people who understand the Old Testament the least. I remember running across one idiot who said he'd left Christianity because all that animal sacrifice in the OT was just barbaric. I facepalmed so hard I about gave myself a black eye.) (For those who are not aware - THAT'S THE POINT. We don't call Christ the Lamb of God because he was so meek and mild and shook his tail in little circles when he fed. He was the Passover lamb, the ultimate substitionary sacrifice for the sins of Israel.)

Anyway...um...yes, football. The ball is certainly very oblong.

Posted by: Mrs. Peel at November 26, 2021 09:29 PM (8548M)

148 Pond hockey puck was usually a can of Starkist.

Posted by: bill in arkansas, not gonna comply with nuttin, waiting for the 0300 knock on the door at November 26, 2021 09:29 PM (C1Lsn)

149 We played so much baseball in the street the covers would come off the balls. My dad taught us the stitch to re-stitch them. Soft as marshmallows but no way we were getting a new one.

Posted by: dartist at November 26, 2021 09:29 PM (+ya+t)

150 Fosbury ruined our grade school track team. Nobody wanted to go over the traditional way, and nobody could do the flop.
Posted by: MkY at November 26, 2021 09:27 PM (Foq6I)

Give me the old Western Roll any day. Into a pile of wet sawdust. None of this lazy baby foam padding.

#realmen

Posted by: Shep Smith at November 26, 2021 09:30 PM (BgMrQ)

151 /off CNN sock

Posted by: browndog Official Mascot of Team Gizzard at November 26, 2021 09:30 PM (BgMrQ)

152 California allowed professional sports players to file Workers Comp claims over 30 years from the alleged date of injury. The statute of limitations in most states are 1 to 2 years. Politicians hands were greased and they came up with asinine logic for example that a Green Bay Packer player wasn't made aware that he could file a claim in California ( if he played a game in or was hired out of CA) the statue was tolled. Biggest scam I dealt with in my 35 years of insurance claims.

Posted by: Just a side note at November 26, 2021 09:31 PM (xIkNd)

153 When I was about 5, I tried to "help" my mom with laundry. So I stuffed a hamper of dirty clothes in the dryer, dumped in a half a container of bleach, and turned it on. Mom didn't know quite how to react.

Posted by: Prince Ludwig the Deplorable at November 26, 2021 09:31 PM (PTevG)

154 Joe Biden has weaponized incontinence.

===

My grandfather was gassed by the Kaiser in WWI, but what I had to endure was much worse !

Posted by: Camilla, Duchess of Cornwall at November 26, 2021 09:31 PM (V13WU)

155 Weird how the most innocuous threads can become a "things found up the butt" thread.

Posted by: All Hail Eris, Sans-Culottes (except for the Book Thread) at November 26, 2021 09:32 PM (Dc2NZ)

156 Interesting thing for me seeing the NFL, NBA and MLB player contracts from the 80's and 90's.

Posted by: Just a side note at November 26, 2021 09:32 PM (xIkNd)

157 We did that as kids. Red rider BB guns only. No pumps. I had a nice Sheridan pellet gun that could kill rabbits and squirrels. And grasshoppers. I don't remember putting more than 5 pumps in it. I'm not sure I was able. It was very stiff by 5.
Posted by: Drc at November 26, 2021 09:25 PM (llGBY)
~~~~~

We had pea shooters.

Posted by: IrishEi at November 26, 2021 09:32 PM (7b2L9)

158 Posted by: Mrs. Peel at November 26, 2021 09:29 PM (8548M)

Ah yes, mysteries within mysteries!

Posted by: Commissar Hrothgar (hOUT3) ~ If only Comrade Fauci knew... ~ at November 26, 2021 09:33 PM (hOUT3)

159 I still have the Mattel electronic football stored away somewhere.

Posted by: Eric at November 26, 2021 09:33 PM (CMb31)

160 I can hear every noise that Mattel football game can make in my head. And I know the meaning of every different beep.

Posted by: Rusty Nail at November 26, 2021 09:33 PM (G6DU0)

161 We had a Foosball table in my frat. Also a keg system.

We played way too much Foos.
Posted by: JackStraw

Yeah, one of the brothers in my fraternity bought a pinball machine. It was set up for nickels, and the money went to the house treasury.
We played to all hours of the night.

We also had a ping-pong table in the dining room one winter, and some of the guys were amazingly good. Those games were really fast. That was just after the "ping-pong" tournament diplomacy with the Chinese, and Ping-pong was pretty popular.
I was lousy by those standards, but when I played normal people at ping - pong, I slayed them.

Posted by: Bozo Conservative...Living on the Prison Planet at November 26, 2021 09:33 PM (tjZg/)

162 Why would you even want to avoid doing laundry? It's the easiest, by far, of all household chores. It's not like we're using washboards anymore.

Posted by: FriscoYoda at November 26, 2021 09:35 PM (+56GQ)

163 Weird how the most innocuous threads can become a "things found up the butt" thread.
Posted by: All Hail Eris

Block that kick!

Posted by: Pete "Strap-On Milkers" Buttrig, with the punchline at November 26, 2021 09:35 PM (V5yAF)

164 156 Interesting thing for me seeing the NFL, NBA and MLB player contracts from the 80's and 90's.
Posted by: Just a side note at November 26, 2021 09:32 PM (xIkNd)

Hell I remember when Wayne Garland got his payday through the Tribe: 2.3 million over 10 years.

I thought the world was going to end. I was just 45 years early.

Posted by: browndog Official Mascot of Team Gizzard at November 26, 2021 09:35 PM (BgMrQ)

165 I still have my Mattell Baseball, Football, and Basketball games and they still work.

Posted by: Truck Monkey at November 26, 2021 09:35 PM (flINI)

166 >>We had pea shooters.

We made blow darts. Roll a small strip of paper into a cone shape, scotch tape the cone and then stick a straight pin through the cone. Use a plastic straw to launch the dart.

Posted by: JackStraw at November 26, 2021 09:36 PM (ZLI7S)

167 I was lousy by those standards, but when I played normal people at ping - pong, I slayed them.
Posted by: Bozo Conservative...Living on the Prison Planet at November 26, 2021 09:33 PM (tjZg/)

Yeah, don't ever play a college kid straight up at a "bar" game, they're one step below pro.

#holidaybraggingrights

Posted by: browndog Official Mascot of Team Gizzard at November 26, 2021 09:37 PM (BgMrQ)

168 We had pea shooters.

Posted by: IrishEi at November 26, 2021 09:32 PM (7b2L9)

Back in my grade school days, we'd make spitball shooters from straws. The more ambitious would find a three-sided ruler and tape three straws to it, one straw on each side. And then mount a cross-hair "scope" made from a section of a TP cardboard sleeve with string forming cross-hair.

Posted by: mrp at November 26, 2021 09:37 PM (6eRlp)

169 Weird how the most innocuous threads can become a "things found up the butt" thread.
Posted by: All Hail Eris, Sans-Culottes (except for the Book Thread)

I bet the chief medical officer onboard the USS Harvey Milk has some stories...

Posted by: Prince Ludwig the Deplorable at November 26, 2021 09:37 PM (PTevG)

170 162 Yep. When the kids were little, and we had a lot of laundry, I'd give Mom a break. No problem. Lawn chair and beer fridge in the basement.

Posted by: bill in arkansas, not gonna comply with nuttin, waiting for the 0300 knock on the door at November 26, 2021 09:37 PM (C1Lsn)

171 Grade school recess football.

"Everybody go out for a pass."

The guy who said that became our star high school quarterback.

He had a brain, too. Probably the most successful guy (that I know of) in our class.

Posted by: Weak Geek at November 26, 2021 09:38 PM (Om/di)

172 We made blow darts. Roll a small strip of paper into a cone shape, scotch tape the cone and then stick a straight pin through the cone. Use a plastic straw to launch the dart.

Posted by: JackStraw at November 26, 2021 09:36 PM (ZLI7S)

Small paper airplanes with an insect pin along the bottom line. Those were as close to real darts as one could get. Great fun pinging some guy from across the science lab in Middle School.

Heh...

Posted by: browndog Official Mascot of Team Gizzard at November 26, 2021 09:39 PM (BgMrQ)

173 The more ambitious would find a three-sided ruler and tape three straws to it, one straw on each side. And then mount a cross-hair "scope" made from a section of a TP cardboard sleeve with string forming cross-hair.
Posted by: mrp at November 26, 2021 09:37 PM (6eRlp)
~~~~~

That's impressive!

Posted by: IrishEi at November 26, 2021 09:40 PM (7b2L9)

174
I have a wacky theory that says women don't like doing laundry mostly because of lugging the heavy hamper up and down stairs.

Posted by: Soothsayer -- at November 26, 2021 09:40 PM (jDEAS)

175 We made deadly rubber band rifles. Trigger was a clothes pin that held a clothes pin spring that was attached to thick rubber bands that was stretched to the end of the wood 'barrel' . It would take out a bird and occasional squirrel.

Posted by: Just a side note at November 26, 2021 09:41 PM (xIkNd)

176 >>> We made blow darts.
~~~~~

Well, see, WE weren't trying to kill people!

Posted by: IrishEi at November 26, 2021 09:42 PM (7b2L9)

177
I'm just hearing this now...

a new "gender" has been ~~discovered~~ invented: "ampu-codo."

An "ampu-codo" is a "trans-abled" identity in which one internally feels an amputated child 2-12 years old.

Posted by: Soothsayer -- at November 26, 2021 09:44 PM (jDEAS)

178 >>Well, see, WE weren't trying to kill people!

Don't be hysterical. Nobody died. That I know of.

It was a ton of fun. Every time the teacher turned his/her back the air was thick with darts. If you screamed you faced an uncertain future.

Posted by: JackStraw at November 26, 2021 09:46 PM (ZLI7S)

179 My brother got a tennis racket for his bday and we thought tennis was for sissies until we discovered how it helped us pick up apples in the yard. That one got us in trouble.

Posted by: dartist at November 26, 2021 09:46 PM (+ya+t)

180 176 >>> We made blow darts.

--------

I'm sure Cannibal Bob would have much to contribute to this thread.

Posted by: Cicero (@cicero43) at November 26, 2021 09:47 PM (VxC1e)

181 We made blow darts. Roll a small strip of paper into a cone shape, scotch tape the cone and then stick a straight pin through the cone. Use a plastic straw to launch the dart.
Posted by: JackStraw

That was one of my favorite scenes in one of the many 70s Charles Bronson movies.

Posted by: Drink Like Vikings at November 26, 2021 09:48 PM (V5yAF)

182 An "ampu-codo" is a "trans-abled" identity in which one internally feels an amputated child 2-12 years old.
Posted by: Soothsayer -- at November 26, 2021 09:44 PM (jDEAS)
~~~~~

That's insane.

I'm a dyslexic, agnostic insomniac so I lie awake at night wondering if there really is a dog.

Posted by: IrishEi at November 26, 2021 09:48 PM (7b2L9)

183 An "ampu-codo" is a "trans-abled" identity in which one internally feels an amputated child 2-12 years old.

Posted by: Soothsayer -- at November 26, 2021 09:44 PM (jDEAS)

---------

And they say America doesn't produce anything anymore.

Posted by: Cicero (@cicero43) at November 26, 2021 09:48 PM (VxC1e)

184 There was a racing game similar to the football one. You moved your "car" from lane to lane as it creeped up the track, IIRC.

But, as others have mentioned, there was at the time nothing better than a massive Hot Wheels track or an AFX slot car track at the time. Regarding the Hot Wheels... my buddy and I would combine our collection of track to go from his house, to mine through two neighbor's back yards. Keeping cars on the track was an exercise in physics we knew nothing about.

Posted by: Martini Farmer at November 26, 2021 09:49 PM (BFigT)

185 No mention of Broomball, the sport of kings?

Posted by: All Hail Eris, Sans-Culottes (except for the Book Thread) at November 26, 2021 09:51 PM (Dc2NZ)

186 An "ampu-codo" is a "trans-abled" identity in which one internally feels an amputated child 2-12 years old.

Posted by: Soothsayer

Do they want Deus Vult?
Cuz this is how you get Deus Vult.

Posted by: Prince Ludwig the Deplorable at November 26, 2021 09:51 PM (PTevG)

187 I used to say that the old electronic football game was very much like leading sailors in the Navy...tell them to do something, rub their feet in the right direction, come back an hour later and find them locked arms and just circling around going nowhere.

Posted by: Boswell at November 26, 2021 09:52 PM (5iUNf)

188 @143 --

I know a "wargame" by that name.

Are you serious?

Posted by: Weak Geek at November 26, 2021 09:52 PM (Om/di)

189 Trimmed conical dixie cup, welding rods, electrical conduit blow pipe. Will penetrate .5 plywood. We used to hunt squirrels with them, maybe just a deep south thing.

Posted by: EdmundBurkesShade at November 26, 2021 09:53 PM (rI0Tt)

190 "trans-abled" identity in which one internally feels an amputated child 2-12 years old.

That sounds like it gets you jail time.

Posted by: Cat Ass Trophy at November 26, 2021 09:53 PM (q91FV)

191 No mention of Broomball, the sport of kings?
Posted by: All Hail Eris, Sans-Culottes (except for the Book Thread) at November 26, 2021 09:51 PM (Dc2NZ)
~~~~~

Is that like curling?

Or stickball?

Posted by: IrishEi at November 26, 2021 09:54 PM (7b2L9)

192 Are you serious?

Posted by: Weak Geek

Just being smart-alecky

Posted by: davidt at November 26, 2021 09:54 PM (0hbQ6)

193 183 An "ampu-codo" is a "trans-abled" identity in which one internally feels an amputated child 2-12 years old.
Posted by: Soothsayer -- at November 26, 2021 09:44 PM (jDEAS)
---------
And they say America doesn't produce anything anymore.
Posted by: Cicero (@cicero43) at November 26, 2021 09:48 PM (VxC1e)

I am so old that I am thankful my parents do not have to see this insane filth!

Posted by: Commissar Hrothgar (hOUT3) ~ If only Comrade Fauci knew... ~ at November 26, 2021 09:54 PM (hOUT3)

194 I have a wacky theory that says women don't like doing laundry mostly because of lugging the heavy hamper up and down stairs.

Posted by: Soothsayer

I moved the laundry room upstairs. She still doesn't like doing it.

Posted by: Cat Ass Trophy at November 26, 2021 09:55 PM (q91FV)

195 We played smear the queer and British Bulldog before school and during lunch.
After school all the kids in my neighborhood would play tag on horseback.
Those horses picked right up on the object of the game. It was brutal. Ever been t-boned by a racing quarter-horse?

Posted by: Idahonian at November 26, 2021 09:56 PM (hD2j4)

196 "trans-abled" identity in which one internally feels an amputated child 2-12 years old.

That sounds like it gets you jail time.
Posted by: Cat Ass Trophy at November 26, 2021 09:53 PM (q91FV)

Ironically, a sure-fire cure is the amputation of the subject's head.

Posted by: Alberta Oil Peon at November 26, 2021 09:56 PM (P3gRi)

197
I loved the fervent wishcasting of electric football that by monkeying with the little "legs" beneath the players you could direct their forward morion.

Never owned one in our family, but played on one with a friend and took scarcely any time to see that it was pointless.

Posted by: Krebs v Carnot: Epic Battle of the Cycling Stars (TM) at November 26, 2021 09:57 PM (pNxlR)

198 I had or played all of those except for super toe. The golden age of football.

Posted by: Guy Mohawk at November 26, 2021 09:57 PM (r5BVk)

199 Those horses picked right up on the object of the game. It was brutal. Ever been t-boned by a racing quarter-horse?
Posted by: Idahonian at November 26, 2021 09:56 PM (hD2j4)

I am laughing my ass off at that thought!

Posted by: Commissar Hrothgar (hOUT3) ~ If only Comrade Fauci knew... ~ at November 26, 2021 09:57 PM (hOUT3)

200 Ironically, a sure-fire cure is the amputation of the subject's head.
Posted by: Alberta Oil Peon at November 26, 2021 09:56 PM (P3gRi)

AOP, the old ways are best!

Posted by: Commissar Hrothgar (hOUT3) ~ If only Comrade Fauci knew... ~ at November 26, 2021 09:58 PM (hOUT3)

201 Is that like curling?

Or stickball?
Posted by: IrishEi at November 26, 2021 09:54 PM (7b2L9)
---

It's like hockey except with a broom and a ball. Slightly less blood on the ice.

Posted by: All Hail Eris, Sans-Culottes (except for the Book Thread) at November 26, 2021 09:58 PM (Dc2NZ)

202 We played smear the queer and British Bulldog before school and during lunch.
After school all the kids in my neighborhood would play tag on horseback.
Those horses picked right up on the object of the game. It was brutal. Ever been t-boned by a racing quarter-horse?
Posted by: Idahonian at November 26, 2021 09:56 PM (hD2j4)

That sounds great! Real fun.

Posted by: Napoleon XIV at November 26, 2021 09:59 PM (AiZBA)

203 ONT!

Posted by: All Hail Eris, Sans-Culottes (except for the Book Thread) at November 26, 2021 09:59 PM (Dc2NZ)

204 some of these stories bring me back to another time, a better time. Sure some of the games were risky, as is life. Looking back I recall people who were legit ninnies even in the 80s, they were just getting started.

I truly feel sorry for kids these days. They are inundated with garbage from the 'net. But they put stickers on their cars asking people to be patient. I don't get that. I worry about what is coming. I hope I am wrong and everyone trying to ruin the place will fail.

Posted by: Quint at November 26, 2021 10:02 PM (NXntH)

205 After school all the kids in my neighborhood would play tag on horseback. Those horses picked right up on the object of the game. It was brutal. Ever been t-boned by a racing quarter-horse?
~~~~~

Posted by: IrishEi at November 26, 2021 10:02 PM (7b2L9)

206
The only "board game" for my brothers, sister, father and me was hockey. Our first one had players in fixed positions on the rink (except the goalie, of course). Once we acquired one with players that could move over a limited path up and down the rink, it was on! These were pre-expansion NHL days, so the two teams were the Montreal Canadiens and the Toronto Maple Leafs. Great, great fun!

Posted by: Krebs v Carnot: Epic Battle of the Cycling Stars (TM) at November 26, 2021 10:03 PM (pNxlR)

207 "Smear the Queer" -- so that name wasn't confined to my region.

My grade school had an incredibly racist name for tag. I regret now that we used it, but the whole area was almost all white.

Posted by: Weak Geek at November 26, 2021 10:03 PM (Om/di)

208 Ever been t-boned by a racing quarter-horse?

That's hot. *hic*

Posted by: Suburban Wine Moms at November 26, 2021 10:04 PM (Xrfse)

209 Anybody else here have a carom board?

It was like a pool table, only square, and you hit plastic rings instead of balls.

Posted by: Weak Geek at November 26, 2021 10:06 PM (Om/di)

210 These were pre-expansion NHL days, so the two teams were the Montreal Canadiens and the Toronto Maple Leafs. Great, great fun!
Posted by: Krebs v Carnot: Epic Battle of the Cycling Stars (TM) at November 26, 2021 10:03 PM (pNxlR)

Ahhh yes, rod hockey. Not to be confused with Bubble Hockey.

There's serious money in the games with "original six" players:
Boston, Detroit, NY Rangers, Chicago, Toronto, Montreal

Posted by: browndog Official Mascot of Team Gizzard at November 26, 2021 10:08 PM (BgMrQ)

211 The mattel football was lots of fun. If you kept playing until the battery ran low you could score a touchdown every single play.
Playing with the AC adaptor - that's hard mode!

Posted by: ArthurK at November 26, 2021 10:13 PM (/P8Pv)

212 207 "Smear the Queer" -- so that name wasn't confined to my region.

My grade school had an incredibly racist name for tag. I regret now that we used it, but the whole area was almost all white.
Posted by: Weak Geek at November 26, 2021 10:03 PM (Om/di)

Smear the queer is definitely not regional. That's like one of those things I wonder if you could consider it pre-internet meme-ing how something like that spreads. I still think the best example of that though is what do you do with your nintendo games when they aren't working.

Posted by: buzzion at November 26, 2021 10:17 PM (vMCab)

213 An "ampu-codo" is a "trans-abled" identity in which one internally feels an amputated child 2-12 years old.
Posted by: Soothsayer -- at November 26, 2021 09:44 PM (jDEAS)
---------
And they say America doesn't produce anything anymore.
Posted by: Cicero (@cicero43) at November 26, 2021 09:48 PM (VxC1e)

I am so old that I am thankful my parents do not have to see this insane filth!

Posted by: Commissar Hrothgar

I long for the days when insane freaks that think up stupid shit like that were institutionalized, lobotomized, or ostracized, not employed to teach or develop public policy.

Posted by: Drink Like Vikings at November 26, 2021 10:30 PM (V5yAF)

214 We had the electric football game, which we tired of really quickly because it took about 10 times longer to line the players up than it did to run the olay. Plus the already-mentioned weakness in the implementation of the passing game.

We had the hockey game, which was more fun. It was a variation on foosball. came with the Montreal Canadians and the Toronto Maple Leafs, but you could buy other teams to install.

I was given the NFL Strategy game for Christmas when I was eleven or twelve, i think. My younger brothers and I played that game a lot over the succeeding years. Supposedly you could buy other sets of offensive and defensive cards to use in the game. I wanted to do that, but never had the money to do so when I thought of doing it.

A month or so ago I went looking for the game on the internet. I found a site that carried it, but they had sold out all the games they had in stock, and they wanted more than I was prepared to pay. I wonder that no one apparently thought of putting out a computer version...unless Madden was the computer version of NFL Strategy under a different name.

Posted by: Introverted Elephocentric Hypochondriac at November 26, 2021 11:55 PM (rw/ga)

215 Had all of these. Every one.

Posted by: Ted Torgerson at November 27, 2021 12:43 AM (MmpjX)

216 Great Monday Night Football intro! Complete with Marlboro ad.

Posted by: m at November 27, 2021 05:02 AM (nzEdf)

217 38.5 million watched the NFL Thanksgiving Day game
The most since 1990

Posted by: Kurt at November 27, 2021 07:23 AM (eBkjw)

218 217 38.5 million watched the NFL Thanksgiving Day game
The most since 1990
There are 80 Million (80,000,000) more people in the US now than there were in 1990.
There was/is no competition from the other Networks Thursday. Virtually -- Zero
And it was a seriously good game.

The NFL has lost its sheen. If they don't get it together, they'll go the way of LeSnitch and the NBA.

Too bad, really, but they brought it on themselves

Posted by: Uncle Rick at November 27, 2021 10:54 AM (48/MM)

219 I definitely had the old electric football game and we played that for hours and hours when it was too wet or cold to play football outside.

Posted by: Happy at November 27, 2021 01:41 PM (uOkeC)

220 I STILL have the Mattell game. Works great. Still fun.

As far as the NFL? Once I got past the first year in 2016, it's not even an issue anymore.

They hate me. I don't care about them.

Next.

Posted by: Bea Arthur's Dick at November 27, 2021 02:50 PM (TU8Tj)

221 28 19 MNF isn't MNF without Hank jr.
Posted by: Prince Ludwig the Deplorable

And Howard Coselle.
Posted by: Romeo13

That's Cosell, you ... you, ... infants.
I had completely forgotten that Keith Jackson was the play-by-play announcer for the 1st season of Monday Night Football. He was the best there ever was.

Posted by: LibertyDefender at November 28, 2021 12:09 AM (iU6m4)

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