Woman Suffers Stroke Due to Orgasm Brought on By Sexually-Skilled Lover

The woman was identified as "Not Jonah Goldberg's Wife."

This is actually an old sidebar post, but a friend brought it up to me, and I'd forgotten about it. It's a pretty good one, so I'm putting it back up.

If Jonah Goldberg can re-use my material why can't I?

Posted by: Ace of Spades at 03:38 PM




Comments

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1 Still, I love my work.

Posted by: Mr. Peebles at July 18, 2019 03:38 PM (oVJmc)

2 tsriF

Posted by: Victor Tango Kilo at July 18, 2019 03:38 PM (O7MnT)

3 *sighs wistfully*

Posted by: Bethany Mandel at July 18, 2019 03:38 PM (datdl)

4 Re-run?

Posted by: Xipe Totec at July 18, 2019 03:39 PM (UE8f6)

5 But was it good for him?

Posted by: johnd01 at July 18, 2019 03:39 PM (ukNFU)

6 Is this really about Omar and her brother? It could explain the lisp and the semi-retardation...

Posted by: shibumi, future dental floss tycoon at July 18, 2019 03:39 PM (AkkRZ)

7 Damn. Mindblowing takes on a whole new meaning.

Posted by: Aetius451AD at July 18, 2019 03:39 PM (ycWCI)

8 It's self-plagiarism all the way down ...

Posted by: ShainS -- There are but two Parties now: Traitors and Patriots at July 18, 2019 03:39 PM (Jqvra)

9

Billy Squier's royalties payments hardest hit!!!!

Posted by: J.J. Sefton at July 18, 2019 03:39 PM (zBaqJ)

10 I actually did pass out once while performing coitus. It was a hot summer afternoon, and stimulants may have been involved. Apparently, though I was out of it, I didn't miss a stroke.

Posted by: Victor Tango Kilo at July 18, 2019 03:39 PM (O7MnT)

11 And now the Paolo will make many, many of the, how you say, lewd comments.

Posted by: joncelli and the angry crowd around him at July 18, 2019 03:40 PM (RD7QR)

12 I'm thinking she's a fatty.

Posted by: sniffybigtoe at July 18, 2019 03:40 PM (1ISKN)

13 How bout them Cowboys!

Posted by: Xipe Totec at July 18, 2019 03:40 PM (UE8f6)

14 SCREAM AND LEAP!

That's probably what the man and the woman both did at some point.

Posted by: Wolfus Aurelius at July 18, 2019 03:40 PM (ClOmq)

15 Misogyny! No one would think twice if a man had a heart attack during sex! Haters!

Posted by: nerdygirl at July 18, 2019 03:40 PM (+lVUW)

16 March? That's a stretch....or a tongue...or something.

Posted by: JEM at July 18, 2019 03:40 PM (8erNz)

17 Sidebar sidenote:

Popehat has become an amusing in-joke among the NeverTrumpTwitterati.

They constantly snark about how Trump has driven him insane and now he blocks people he disagrees with to reinforce his echo-chamber bubble.

Cuckholds, pleasure thine own wives!

Posted by: El Kabong at July 18, 2019 03:40 PM (datdl)

18 And that girl....was me.

Posted by: Mrs. Peebles at July 18, 2019 03:40 PM (oVJmc)

19

Stroke Me.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=69fPof-ZTnU

Posted by: J.J. Sefton at July 18, 2019 03:41 PM (zBaqJ)

20 You makes your bets, you takes your chances.

Posted by: Aetius451AD at July 18, 2019 03:41 PM (ycWCI)

21 I've passed out during sex before myself.

Posted by: Zombie David Carridine at July 18, 2019 03:41 PM (46kCj)

22 Le Petit Mort, it's a thing.

Posted by: Mark Andrew Edwards, Angry, Radical, Anti-Liberal, and Dangerous Lion: buy ammo at July 18, 2019 03:41 PM (bcbK8)

23 Guess he really blew her mind

Posted by: Deep State is in DEEP SHIT at July 18, 2019 03:41 PM (BqBId)

24 Woman Suffers Stroke Due to Orgasm Brought on By Sexually-Skilled Lover

He fucked her silly.

Posted by: ThePrimordialOrderedPair at July 18, 2019 03:41 PM (6fsOH)

25 By the way, didn't Nelson Rockefeller have a heart attack and die during sex with someone not his wife?

Posted by: nerdygirl at July 18, 2019 03:41 PM (+lVUW)

26 15 Misogyny! No one would think twice if a man had a heart attack during sex! Haters!

You got that right.

Posted by: Zombie Nelson Rockefeller at July 18, 2019 03:41 PM (8erNz)

27 Damn.. I wasn't expecting to have to clean the Mt Dew off of my laptop.. Nice

Posted by: NALNAMSAM - not as lean, not as mean, still a Marine at July 18, 2019 03:41 PM (9B/d8)

28 5 But was it good for him?
Posted by: johnd01 at July 18, 2019 03:39 PM (ukNFU)

it's like pizza, for guys.

Even when it's not that good...it's still pretty good.

Posted by: Mark Andrew Edwards, Angry, Radical, Anti-Liberal, and Dangerous Lion: buy ammo at July 18, 2019 03:41 PM (bcbK8)

29 Of course, I'm extremely skilled, er was extremely skilled.

Posted by: Zombie David Carridine at July 18, 2019 03:41 PM (Pabj7)

30 What's an orgasm?

Posted by: Ilhan "Sultana of the Squad" Omar at July 18, 2019 03:41 PM (v0R5T)

31 I once defended brought by the wife of a guy who had a stroke and died while having sex. Discovery was...awkward.

Posted by: LASue at July 18, 2019 03:41 PM (wMHPW)

32 He loved her half to death, or something, I guess.



Posted by: rhomboid at July 18, 2019 03:41 PM (QDnY+)

33 26 15 Misogyny! No one would think twice if a man had a heart attack during sex! Haters!

You got that right.
Posted by: Zombie Nelson Rockefeller at July 18, 2019 03:41 PM (8erNz)



Me So Gyny!! Me Stroke You Long Time!

Posted by: J.J. Sefton at July 18, 2019 03:42 PM (zBaqJ)

34 Wow! Chickonauts this morning and now orgasmastrokes. Great day here.

Posted by: Cannibal Bob 'I better learn to code' at July 18, 2019 03:42 PM (hi6cA)

35
...article said she had a "sub arachnoid hemorrhage"


Dude did her so hard she was bleeding spiders in her brain....

Posted by: fixerupper at July 18, 2019 03:42 PM (8XRCm)

36 So, Bill Krystal's wife on the SS Cucky McCuckface?

Posted by: DamnedYankee at July 18, 2019 03:42 PM (37IEG)

37 FIRST!!!!!

Posted by: Sponge at July 18, 2019 03:42 PM (Zz0t1)

38 25
By the way, didn't Nelson Rockefeller have a heart attack and die during sex with someone not his wife?

Posted by: nerdygirl at July 18, 2019 03:41 PM (+lVUW)

26
15 Misogyny! No one would think twice if a man had a heart attack during sex! Haters!



You got that right.

Posted by: Zombie Nelson Rockefeller at July 18, 2019 03:41 PM (8erNz)


The HQ hive mind going strong.

Posted by: MWR, The Public Intellectual (aka Beth) at July 18, 2019 03:42 PM (rP4OC)

39 He's about to be one in demand mo fo.

Posted by: Sponge at July 18, 2019 03:42 PM (Zz0t1)

40 I've never had a stroke after an orgasm.

Just the usual mix of shame, guilt and physical pain.

Posted by: Mark Andrew Edwards, Angry, Radical, Anti-Liberal, and Dangerous Lion: buy ammo at July 18, 2019 03:42 PM (bcbK8)

41 25 By the way, didn't Nelson Rockefeller have a heart attack and die during sex with someone not his wife?

Yep, and she was worth every second of it...well, right up until the last few.

Posted by: Zombie Nelson Rockefeller at July 18, 2019 03:42 PM (8erNz)

42 25 By the way, didn't Nelson Rockefeller have a heart attack and die during sex with someone not his wife?
Posted by: nerdygirl at July 18, 2019 03:41 PM (+lVUW)

Yep. And millions of red-blooded males said they wanted to go like that.

Posted by: joncelli and the angry crowd around him at July 18, 2019 03:42 PM (RD7QR)

43 25 By the way, didn't Nelson Rockefeller have a heart attack and die during sex with someone not his wife?
Posted by: nerdygirl at July 18, 2019 03:41 PM (+lVUW)


Happy was not Happy...

Posted by: J.J. Sefton at July 18, 2019 03:42 PM (zBaqJ)

44 Update:

Man uses child as shield while shooting at Ft Worth SWAT.

Man is mort.

Thank heavens, assume child is not?
Posted by: JEM


No one else was harmed.
SWAT fired one shot.

Posted by: rickb223 at July 18, 2019 03:42 PM (ql3m8)

45 A poke and a stroke we always called it.

Posted by: eleven at July 18, 2019 03:42 PM (tH5fk)

46 rticle said she had a "sub arachnoid hemorrhage"


Dude did her so hard she was bleeding spiders in her brain....
Posted by: fixerupper at July 18, 2019 03:42 PM (8XRCm)

same type of stroke (but no spiders)

Posted by: LASue at July 18, 2019 03:42 PM (wMHPW)

47 Personally, I prefer screamers to stroke outs. But everybody has their own thing.

Posted by: Guy Mohawk at July 18, 2019 03:42 PM (r+sAi)

48 http://bit.ly/2GkndJ8
*******
The Delfonics - Didn't I (Blow Your Mind This Time) - 1970 - YouTube

Posted by: Deep State is in DEEP SHIT at July 18, 2019 03:43 PM (BqBId)

49 not first

Posted by: TheJamesMadison, Destroyer of Worlds at July 18, 2019 03:43 PM (VyAV0)

50
"Another recent story involves a woman who suffered anaphylactic shock after ingesting her boyfriend's semen right after he had taken penicillin."

Any Horde writers taking notes? That's a great plot twist for a murder mystery.

Posted by: Blonde Morticia at July 18, 2019 03:43 PM (M9ntN)

51
Isn't this really the story of the recently arrested Peter North...

Posted by: J.J. Sefton at July 18, 2019 03:43 PM (zBaqJ)

52 37 FIRST!!!!!
Posted by: Sponge at July 18, 2019 03:42 PM (Zz0t1)

*adjusts elevation by 36*

Posted by: Mark Andrew Edwards, Angry, Radical, Anti-Liberal, and Dangerous Lion: buy ammo at July 18, 2019 03:43 PM (bcbK8)

53 So, Ace is dating?

Posted by: LASue at July 18, 2019 03:43 PM (wMHPW)

54 Woman Suffers Stroke Due to Orgasm Brought on By Sexually-Skilled Lover


She came and went.

Posted by: Archer at July 18, 2019 03:43 PM (gmo/4)

55 28
5 But was it good for him?

Posted by: johnd01 at July 18, 2019 03:39 PM (ukNFU)



it's like pizza, for guys.



Even when it's not that good...it's still pretty good.

Posted by: Mark Andrew Edwards, Angry, Radical, Anti-Liberal, and Dangerous Lion: buy ammo at July 18, 2019 03:41 PM (bcbK


Though the article says the woman passed out while her partner was performing ORAL sex. So what does the guy do after that? Takes her to the hospital, gets her checked out to make sure she's not going to die, then ask for a handy or something? That's got to be rough.

Posted by: MWR, The Public Intellectual (aka Beth) at July 18, 2019 03:43 PM (rP4OC)

56 30: What did they do with your lady parts, Omar? Do they feed them to animals after infibulation, or burn them? No this culture isn't equally valid.

Posted by: CN at July 18, 2019 03:43 PM (U7k5w)

57 45 A poke and a stroke we always called it.
Posted by: eleven at July 18, 2019 03:42 PM (tH5fk)


Liquor In Front, Poker In the Rear...

Posted by: J.J. Sefton at July 18, 2019 03:43 PM (zBaqJ)

58 I bet he went for the backdoor when she was out.

"I only passed out for 3 mins."

"And that was all I needed."

Posted by: sniffybigtoe at July 18, 2019 03:43 PM (1ISKN)

59 Billy Squier's royalties payments hardest hit!!!!
Posted by: J.J. Sefton at July 18, 2019 03:39 PM (zBaqJ)

It took me a second to get that

Posted by: Vanya at July 18, 2019 03:43 PM (zpOyj)

60 I've never had a stroke after an orgasm.

Just the usual mix of shame, guilt and physical pain.
======
you're doing it wrong.

Posted by: Your Parents at July 18, 2019 03:43 PM (Cejn6)

61 Maybe it would have occurred if she was watching TV or eating a sandwich, but she happened to be having sex.

I doubt the guy is that "skilled"

Posted by: JoeF. at July 18, 2019 03:43 PM (NFEMn)

62 Takes care of the cuddling part.

Posted by: JackStraw at July 18, 2019 03:43 PM (K/2j/)

63 So, no sandwich afterwards?

Posted by: wth at July 18, 2019 03:43 PM (v0R5T)

64 >>>40 I've never had a stroke after an orgasm.


i have a stroke before, sometimes nine or ten strokes, depending on how long it's been.

Posted by: ace at July 18, 2019 03:44 PM (PbpT7)

65 By the way, didn't Nelson Rockefeller have a heart attack and die during sex with someone not his wife?
Posted by: nerdygirl at July 18, 2019 03:41 PM (+lVUW)

Yep. And millions of red-blooded males said they wanted to go like that.
Posted by: joncelli


Cowboy style. In the saddle. So to speak.

Posted by: rickb223 at July 18, 2019 03:44 PM (ql3m8)

66 21 I've passed out during sex before myself.
Posted by: Zombie David Carridine at July 18, 2019 03:41 PM (46kCj)

Damn.

Yes. Yes you did.

Posted by: Aetius451AD at July 18, 2019 03:44 PM (ycWCI)

67
No one else was harmed.

SWAT fired one shot.





Posted by: rickb223 at July 18, 2019 03:42 PM (ql3m
And this is why God Blesses Texas.

Posted by: DamnedYankee at July 18, 2019 03:44 PM (37IEG)

68 40 I've never had a stroke after an orgasm.

Just the usual mix of shame, guilt and physical pain.

Posted by: Mark Andrew Edwards, Angry, Radical, Anti-Liberal, and Dangerous Lion: buy ammo at July 18, 2019 03:42 PM (bcbK

Have you tried becoming a monk?

Posted by: Someguy at July 18, 2019 03:44 PM (p997d)

69 54 Woman Suffers Stroke Due to Orgasm Brought on By Sexually-Skilled Lover

She came and went.

Posted by: Archer at July 18, 2019 03:43 PM (gmo/4)


In-out, then out-out...

Posted by: J.J. Sefton at July 18, 2019 03:44 PM (zBaqJ)

70 I can't tell you the number of times this has happened to me. I'm a rather cunning linguist.

Colonel Angus, Confederate Army, Retired

Posted by: WarEagle82 at July 18, 2019 03:44 PM (+Kpte)

71 No one else was harmed.
SWAT fired one shot.


We can crowdsource a keg of beer for the shooter.

Posted by: Zombie Nelson Rockefeller at July 18, 2019 03:44 PM (8erNz)

72 68 40 I've never had a stroke after an orgasm.

Just the usual mix of shame, guilt and physical pain.

Posted by: Mark Andrew Edwards, Angry, Radical, Anti-Liberal, and Dangerous Lion: buy ammo at July 18, 2019 03:42 PM (bcbK

Have you tried becoming a monk?
Posted by: Someguy at July 18, 2019 03:44 PM (p997d)

Better, I became a married man!

Posted by: Mark Andrew Edwards, Angry, Radical, Anti-Liberal, and Dangerous Lion: buy ammo at July 18, 2019 03:44 PM (bcbK8)

73 50 : Sort of a kinky Miss Marple

Posted by: CN at July 18, 2019 03:44 PM (U7k5w)

74 Does she ever have oral sex performed on her again? Got to weigh the risks.

And can her husband be arrested for attempted murder if she dies?

Also, mentioned up thread, I wonder what kind of shape this woman was in?

Posted by: Seems Legit at July 18, 2019 03:44 PM (jUVms)

75 The Paolo, he does use the disclaimer, but sadly, the ladies they do not always take him seriously.

Posted by: Paolo at July 18, 2019 03:44 PM (ejd/p)

76 A child is not much shield against a sniper with a scoped 308. He can hit a shirt button at 100 yards.

Posted by: Xipe Totec at July 18, 2019 03:45 PM (UE8f6)

77 >she was sent to the neurosurgical unit for testing, where she was found to have had a subarachnoid hemorrhage,

Spiders?

Posted by: flounder, rebel, vulgarian, deplorable, winner at July 18, 2019 03:45 PM (t6MX/)

78 Takes her to the hospital, gets her checked out to make sure she's not going to die, then ask for a handy or something? That's got to be rough.
Posted by: MWR, The Public Intellectual (aka Beth) at July 18, 2019 03:43 PM (rP4OC)

So, since you're feeling better, you think....?

Posted by: Vanya at July 18, 2019 03:45 PM (zpOyj)

79
I once defended brought by the wife of a guy who had a stroke and died while having sex. Discovery was...awkward.
Posted by: LASue

======

Whoa, really? That's the plot of some horrid Madonna movie. Body of Evidence.

Posted by: Blonde Morticia at July 18, 2019 03:45 PM (M9ntN)

80 22
Le Petit Mort, it's a thing.

Posted by: Mark Andrew Edwards, Angry, Radical, Anti-Liberal, and Dangerous Lion: buy ammo at July 18, 2019

*
*
. . .
I read somewhere that the Elizabethans believed that each orgasm shortened your life by one day, which led to some pretty weird conceits in their poetry.

Posted by: Wolfus Aurelius at July 18, 2019 03:45 PM (ClOmq)

81 44 Update:

Man uses child as shield while shooting at Ft Worth SWAT.

Man is mort.

Thank heavens, assume child is not?
Posted by: JEM


No one else was harmed.
SWAT fired one shot.

Posted by: rickb223 at July 18, 2019 03:42 PM (ql3m

[Raises drink to SWAT sniper]

Posted by: joncelli and the angry crowd around him at July 18, 2019 03:45 PM (RD7QR)

82 I'm good, but my wife hasn't been hospitalized yet, so I guess I've got work to do.

Posted by: Sponge at July 18, 2019 03:45 PM (Zz0t1)

83 where is Clarence Carter when you need him?

Posted by: Deep State is in DEEP SHIT at July 18, 2019 03:45 PM (BqBId)

84 64 >>>40 I've never had a stroke after an orgasm.


i have a stroke before, sometimes nine or ten strokes, depending on how long it's been.
Posted by: ace at July 18, 2019 03:44 PM (PbpT7)

Billy Squier and Devo approve

Posted by: Mark Andrew Edwards, Angry, Radical, Anti-Liberal, and Dangerous Lion: buy ammo at July 18, 2019 03:45 PM (bcbK8)

85 71
No one else was harmed.

SWAT fired one shot.



We can crowdsource a keg of beer for the shooter.

Posted by: Zombie Nelson Rockefeller at July 18, 2019 03:44 PM (8erNz)
Hell, if someone will tell me where they are, I'll buy ALL of em beer.

Posted by: DamnedYankee at July 18, 2019 03:45 PM (37IEG)

86 So what does the guy do after that?

-----

Rubs one out.... THEN goes to the hospital.

Posted by: fixerupper at July 18, 2019 03:46 PM (8XRCm)

87 Was Colonel Angus and old SNL skit?

I've got a hint I'm remembering something.

Posted by: sniffybigtoe at July 18, 2019 03:46 PM (1ISKN)

88 I doubt the guy is that "skilled"
Posted by: JoeF. at July 18, 2019 03:43 PM (NFEMn)

--------

Sounds a bit envious.

Posted by: Seems Legit at July 18, 2019 03:46 PM (jUVms)

89 What was Peter North arrested for, vandalizing makeup?

Posted by: wth at July 18, 2019 03:46 PM (v0R5T)

90 Non sequitur. All we know is that the "Sexually-Skilled Lover" wasn't Jonah Goldberg.

Posted by: Eeyore at July 18, 2019 03:46 PM (VaN/j)

91 a friend of mine used to draw really crude cartoons. I don't just mean vulgar, I mean the drawing skill was extremely crude and child-like, which actually added to the funniness of one cartoon.

The cartoon was a guy bending over a girl and having sex with her. The guy's penis was... large. The head of the penis, about the size of a football, had broken out of the top of her skull after having transfixed her entire body.

There was a crude little word-balloon with the guy saying, "Did you feel that?"

Posted by: ace at July 18, 2019 03:46 PM (PbpT7)

92 Popehat has become an amusing in-joke among the NeverTrumpTwitterati.

They constantly snark about how Trump has driven him insane and now he blocks people he disagrees with to reinforce his echo-chamber bubble.

------

??? They all do that, every last one of them.

Why would they be bagging on Popehat for that? Weird.

Posted by: Yudhishthira's Dice at July 18, 2019 03:46 PM (AzW6q)

93 What's an orgasm?

Posted by: Ilhan "Sultana of the Squad" Omar at July 18, 2019 03:41 PM (v0R5T)

What's a woman?

Posted by: Bill Kristol at July 18, 2019 03:46 PM (oVJmc)

94 Willowed:

Local talk radio said earlier there was a gunman in an apartment complex. Then they said there were hostages.

Then, they reported that the gunman was in custody.

Suddenly, he was reported as dead.

The 24 hour rule is ALWAYS in effect.
Posted by: Sponge at July 18, 2019 03:41 PM (Zz0t1)

Posted by: Sponge at July 18, 2019 03:46 PM (Zz0t1)

95 Posted by: Archer at July 18, 2019 03:43 PM <<<<
It's over folks, a winner is declared. Time for a new thread.

Posted by: Guy Mohawk at July 18, 2019 03:46 PM (r+sAi)

96 Oh, sure. Tease the married guys.

Posted by: Moron Robbie - New AIDS cases in '99 = 40K/yr. New HIV cases each year since? Take a guess at July 18, 2019 03:46 PM (mJzdQ)

97 I want PDT to go after BroFo full steam ahead.

Posted by: Jmel at July 18, 2019 03:46 PM (uYg4z)

98 75 The Paolo, he does use the disclaimer, but sadly, the ladies they do not always take him seriously.
Posted by: Paolo at July 18, 2019 03:44 PM (ejd/p)

Make them sign a waiver.

Wait, what the hell am I doing?

Posted by: Aetius451AD at July 18, 2019 03:46 PM (ycWCI)

99 Momma's got a squeezebox,
Dad put her to sleep last night!

Posted by: The Who at July 18, 2019 03:46 PM (zpOyj)

100 http://bit.ly/2Gfhbtd
*******
Clarence Carter- Strokin' - YouTube

Posted by: Deep State is in DEEP SHIT at July 18, 2019 03:46 PM (BqBId)

101 she was sent to the neurosurgical unit for testing, where she was found to have had a subarachnoid hemorrhage,

Spiders?
=====
submissive spiders.

Posted by: typical MORE ON at July 18, 2019 03:47 PM (46kCj)

102 83 where is Clarence Carter when you need him?
Posted by: Deep State is in DEEP SHIT at July 18, 2019 03:45 PM (BqBId)


We don't need no steenkeeng "Patches!"

Posted by: J.J. Sefton at July 18, 2019 03:47 PM (zBaqJ)

103 Woman Suffers Stroke Due to Orgasm Brought on By Sexually-Skilled Lover

Actually, it wasn't that interesting. He knew she was epileptic and induced a seizure by blinking his eyes while he was screwing her. He did it just to make himself feel good and for a story to tell his friends.

Posted by: ThePrimordialOrderedPair at July 18, 2019 03:47 PM (6fsOH)

104 77: Dura Mater, Arachnoid Mater, Pia Mater

Posted by: CN at July 18, 2019 03:47 PM (U7k5w)

105 >>>I read somewhere that the Elizabethans believed that each orgasm shortened your life by one day, which led to some pretty weird conceits in their poetry.

that's what I tell my lady-friends, I want them to know I am just thinking of their health

Posted by: Jonah Goldberg, Health-Conscious Lover at July 18, 2019 03:47 PM (PbpT7)

106 A child is not much shield against a sniper with a scoped 308. He can hit a shirt button at 100 yards.
Posted by: Xipe Totec


Kicked in the front door.
Dumbass was still taking potshots at the cops from the windows. They went in because of multiple hostages.

Posted by: rickb223 at July 18, 2019 03:47 PM (ql3m8)

107 So *that's* what Billy Squire was singing about.

Posted by: Broseidon - New Work Computer, Same Work Ethic at July 18, 2019 03:47 PM (oZ6kz)

108 Yeah, I don't see this thread getting out of hand. Nope. No way.

Posted by: Duke Lowell at July 18, 2019 03:47 PM (gC2IV)

109 89 What was Peter North arrested for, vandalizing makeup?
Posted by: wth at July 18, 2019 03:46 PM (v0R5T)

His wife is accusing him of choking her.

Posted by: Mark Andrew Edwards, Angry, Radical, Anti-Liberal, and Dangerous Lion: buy ammo at July 18, 2019 03:47 PM (bcbK8)

110 I hate it when that happens.

Posted by: Muad'dib at July 18, 2019 03:48 PM (sjdRT)

111 Skilled tonguesmanship.

Posted by: eleven at July 18, 2019 03:48 PM (tH5fk)

112 So what does the guy do after that? Takes her to the
hospital, gets her checked out to make sure she's not going to die,
then ask for a handy or something? That's got to be rough.


Posted by: MWR, The Public Intellectual (aka Beth) at July 18, 2019 03:43 PM (rP4OC)

Finish, first. It's only fair.

Posted by: flounder, rebel, vulgarian, deplorable, winner at July 18, 2019 03:48 PM (t6MX/)

113 108 Yeah, I don't see this thread getting out of hand. Nope. No way.
Posted by: Duke Lowell at July 18, 2019 03:47 PM (gC2IV)


ISWYDT...

Posted by: J.J. Sefton at July 18, 2019 03:48 PM (zBaqJ)

114 What was Peter North arrested for, vandalizing makeup?
Posted by: wth at July 18, 2019 03:46 PM (v0R5T)

His wife is accusing him of choking her.
Posted by: Mark Andrew Edwards, Angry, Radical, Anti-Liberal, and Dangerous Lion: buy ammo at July 18, 2019 03:47 PM (bcbK8


I figured she was just tired of getting smacked around with 10 inches of limp dick.

Posted by: Sponge at July 18, 2019 03:48 PM (Zz0t1)

115 Asking for a friend:

Can you use one of those SodaStream things with vodka?

Posted by: Warai-otoko at July 18, 2019 03:48 PM (AURKQ)

116 One day for each orgasm, huh?

According to my new projected lifespan, I need to start collecting Social Security ASAP.

Posted by: Broseidon - New Work Computer, Same Work Ethic at July 18, 2019 03:49 PM (oZ6kz)

117 So, since you're feeling better, you think....?

Posted by: Vanya at July 18, 2019 03:45 PM (zpOyj)


"I mean yes, OKAY, I know you just had a teeny tiny stroke, but you're doing fine now, right?"

Posted by: MWR, The Public Intellectual (aka Beth) at July 18, 2019 03:49 PM (rP4OC)

118 >>>92 Popehat has become an amusing in-joke among the NeverTrumpTwitterati.

They constantly snark about how Trump has driven him insane and now he blocks people he disagrees with to reinforce his echo-chamber bubble.

------

??? They all do that, every last one of them.

Why would they be bagging on Popehat for that? Weird.

...

Yup! It's a bunch of lunatics calling each other "crazy."

It's only a matter of degree and timing.

Posted by: ace at July 18, 2019 03:49 PM (PbpT7)

119 Matthew Mconaughey tells the story of his father having a heart attack and died while having sex with his wife , Matthew's mom. He said his mom insisted they not cover up his dad when they put him in the ambulance so the neighbors could see what a big man he was. That's Texas .

Posted by: Can't resist temptation at July 18, 2019 03:49 PM (zFzxj)

120 115 Asking for a friend:

Can you use one of those SodaStream things with vodka?
Posted by: Warai-otoko at July 18, 2019 03:48 PM (AURKQ)


I guess you can.

Posted by: J.J. Sefton at July 18, 2019 03:49 PM (zBaqJ)

121 His wife is accusing him of choking her.
Posted by: Mark Andrew Edwards, Angry, Radical, Anti-Liberal, and Dangerous Lion: buy ammo at July 18, 2019 03:47 PM (bcbK

So, do I make the joke by asking whether the choking was external or internal, or is that over the line?

Posted by: The Who at July 18, 2019 03:49 PM (zpOyj)

122 a friend of mine used to draw really crude cartoons. I don't just mean vulgar, I mean the drawing skill was extremely crude and child-like, which actually added to the funniness of one cartoon.

--

If you've never watched 12 Oz Mouse you probably should.

https://hooktube.com/watch?v=tjvwQKhcidw

Posted by: Moron Robbie - New AIDS cases in '99 = 40K/yr. New HIV cases each year since? Take a guess at July 18, 2019 03:49 PM (mJzdQ)

123 Asking for a friend:

Can you use one of those SodaStream things with vodka?
========

The directions explicitly state nothing but water.

Posted by: bicentennialguy at July 18, 2019 03:49 PM (vg8iE)

124 Huh - they're reporting it was not a scoped shot - they busted down the door and took him out the hard way.

Posted by: DamnedYankee at July 18, 2019 03:49 PM (37IEG)

125 Here's my story of how I got blocked by Jonah Goldberg...

To his credit, he didn't block me after I bagged on him relentlessly for being a total cuck.

After the revelations about Kristol being on the take from Omidyar, I asked him whether any big-shot leftists were bankrolling his own fat, lazy butt.

That did it.

Posted by: Yudhishthira's Dice at July 18, 2019 03:49 PM (AzW6q)

126 121 His wife is accusing him of choking her.
Posted by: Mark Andrew Edwards, Angry, Radical, Anti-Liberal, and Dangerous Lion: buy ammo at July 18, 2019 03:47 PM (bcbK

So, do I make the joke by asking whether the choking was external or internal, or is that over the line?
Posted by: The Who at July 18, 2019 03:49 PM (zpOyj)

There IS a line. But I think that joke is safe.

Posted by: Mark Andrew Edwards, Angry, Radical, Anti-Liberal, and Dangerous Lion: buy ammo at July 18, 2019 03:50 PM (bcbK8)

127 116 One day for each orgasm, huh?

According to my new projected lifespan, I need to start collecting Social Security ASAP.
Posted by: Broseidon - New Work Computer, Same Work Ethic at July 18, 2019 03:49 PM (oZ6kz)

That would be a horrible thing to say to a kid:

*through a door*

Billy, what would you like on your tombstone?

Posted by: Aetius451AD at July 18, 2019 03:50 PM (ycWCI)

128 115: Carbonated Vodka? I would never have thought of that, but Fortune magazine says "Yes!"

Posted by: CN at July 18, 2019 03:50 PM (U7k5w)

129 108 Yeah, I don't see this thread getting out of hand. Nope. No way.
Posted by: Duke Lowell at July 18, 2019 03:47 PM (gC2IV)

That's what got us into this mess in the first place!

Nobody's getting neurological trauma from giving a handjo!

#Diff'rentStrokes

Posted by: Warai-otoko at July 18, 2019 03:50 PM (AURKQ)

130 I killed a woman by orgasm once. She was Canadian.

You wouldn't know her.

Posted by: eleven at July 18, 2019 03:50 PM (tH5fk)

131 So what does the guy do after that? Takes her to the
hospital, gets her checked out to make sure she's not going to die,
then ask for a handy or something? That's got to be rough.


Posted by: MWR, The Public Intellectual (aka Beth) at July 18, 2019 03:43 PM


This is one thing that always puzzled me about the Starr report and BJ Clunton.

It said that Monica used to blow him all the time, but he'd stop her before he finished.

Except for the one time, which got him impeached.

My experience is, getting close and not completing SUCKS REALLY BAD......

Posted by: Sponge at July 18, 2019 03:50 PM (Zz0t1)

132 >>>After the revelations about Kristol being on the take from Omidyar, I asked him whether any big-shot leftists were bankrolling his own fat, lazy butt.


well look up hedge-fund tycoon Clifford Asness, who funds his "Asness Chair of Liberty."

Posted by: ace at July 18, 2019 03:50 PM (PbpT7)

133 118 Yup! It's a bunch of lunatics calling each other "crazy."

It's only a matter of degree and timing.
Posted by: ace at July 18, 2019 03:49 PM (PbpT7)

==========

They're just sitting back, waiting for us to run back to them with the leadership of the Republican Party in our hands as an offering to them.

I recommend that they hold their breaths for it.

Posted by: TheJamesMadison, Destroyer of Worlds at July 18, 2019 03:51 PM (VyAV0)

134 The directions explicitly state nothing but water.

Posted by: bicentennialguy at July 18, 2019 03:49 PM (vg8iE)


It's just a CO2 cartridge. You can stick it in anything you want.

Posted by: ThePrimordialOrderedPair at July 18, 2019 03:51 PM (6fsOH)

135 104
77: Dura Mater, Arachnoid Mater, Pia Mater

Posted by: CN at July 18, 2019

*
*
. . .
"Hard mother," "spider mother," "Ingrid Bergman"

Posted by: Wolfus Aurelius at July 18, 2019 03:51 PM (ClOmq)

136 Billy, what would you like on your tombstone?
Posted by: Aetius451AD at July 18, 2019 03:50 PM (ycWCI)


Pepperoni, sausage and extra cheese, please!

Posted by: Billy at July 18, 2019 03:51 PM (Zz0t1)

137 Asking for a friend:

Can you use one of those SodaStream things with vodka?
Posted by: Warai-otoko at July 18, 2019 03:48 PM


Umm...why not just have a vodka and soda? Or three.

Posted by: RedMindBlueState at July 18, 2019 03:51 PM (ejd/p)

138 >>>134 The directions explicitly state nothing but water.

Posted by: bicentennialguy at July 18, 2019 03:49 PM (vg8iE)

It's just a CO2 cartridge. You can stick it in anything you want.

...

i've tried other things and it's usually a mess.

Posted by: ace at July 18, 2019 03:51 PM (PbpT7)

139 "Have you tried becoming a monk?
Posted by: Someguy at July 18, 2019 03:44 PM (p997d)"

Since monks get more proficient with their unarmed weapons, it seems like it would just shorten the experience.

Posted by: Broseidon - New Work Computer, Same Work Ethic at July 18, 2019 03:51 PM (oZ6kz)

140 117 So, since you're feeling better, you think....?

Posted by: Vanya at July 18, 2019 03:45 PM (zpOyj)

"I mean yes, OKAY, I know you just had a teeny tiny stroke, but you're doing fine now, right?"
Posted by: MWR, The Public Intellectual (aka Beth) at July 18, 2019 03:49 PM (rP4OC)

It would be a shame to waste this semi-private room, sweet-pea.*

*stolen from Jeff Foxworthy

Posted by: Aetius451AD at July 18, 2019 03:51 PM (ycWCI)

141
well look up hedge-fund tycoon Clifford Asness, who funds his "Asness Chair of Liberty."

Posted by: ace at July 18, 2019 03:50 PM (PbpT7)


Intriguing fellow, this Asness chap...

Posted by: J.J. Sefton at July 18, 2019 03:51 PM (zBaqJ)

142 It's just a CO2 cartridge. You can stick it in anything you want.
=========

Oh, really.....

Posted by: Mayor Buttplug at July 18, 2019 03:51 PM (vg8iE)

143 44 Update:

Man uses child as shield while shooting at Ft Worth SWAT.

Man is mort.

Thank heavens, assume child is not?
Posted by: JEM


No one else was harmed.
SWAT fired one shot.

Posted by: rickb223


The only good cowardly motherf**ker is a dead cowardly motherf**ker.

Posted by: nerdygirl at July 18, 2019 03:52 PM (+lVUW)

144 It's just a CO2 cartridge. You can stick it in anything you want.
Posted by: ThePrimordialOrderedPair at July 18, 2019 03:51 PM (6fsOH)


Go on......

Posted by: SHEP!!! at July 18, 2019 03:52 PM (Zz0t1)

145 You need to get a nitrous cartridge, then forget the alcohol and huff the nitrous.

Posted by: sniffybigtoe at July 18, 2019 03:52 PM (1ISKN)

146 123 Asking for a friend:

Can you use one of those SodaStream things with vodka?
========

The directions explicitly state nothing but water.
Posted by: bicentennialguy at July 18, 2019 03:49 PM (vg8iE)

I wasn't askin' what the directions say, poindexter.

Posted by: Warai-otoko at July 18, 2019 03:52 PM (AURKQ)

147 Happens all the time.

Posted by: Puddin Head at July 18, 2019 03:52 PM (2LelM)

148 >>>130 I killed a woman by orgasm once. She was Canadian.

You wouldn't know her.

...

I did too, back when I was in Vietnam.

Posted by: ace at July 18, 2019 03:52 PM (PbpT7)

149 144 It's just a CO2 cartridge. You can stick it in anything you want.
Posted by: ThePrimordialOrderedPair at July 18, 2019 03:51 PM (6fsOH)

Go on......
Posted by: SHEP!!! at July 18, 2019 03:52 PM (Zz0t1)

I laughed

Posted by: Mark Andrew Edwards, Angry, Radical, Anti-Liberal, and Dangerous Lion: buy ammo at July 18, 2019 03:52 PM (bcbK8)

150 "Not Jonah Goldberg's wife"

Truly just laughed beer out of my nose. That ain't fun but that was funny as get out.

Posted by: Jukin the Deplorable and Profoundly Unserious at July 18, 2019 03:52 PM (pw+jk)

151 It's just a CO2 cartridge. You can stick it in anything you want.
Posted by: ThePrimordialOrderedPair at July 18, 2019 03:51 PM


Are we not doing phrasing anymore?

Posted by: RedMindBlueState at July 18, 2019 03:52 PM (ejd/p)

152 Yup! It's a bunch of lunatics calling each other "crazy."

A NeverTrump Marat/Sade.

Posted by: Bill Kristol at July 18, 2019 03:52 PM (oVJmc)

153 I gave a girl an orgasm, just to watch her die.

Posted by: Johnny Cash at July 18, 2019 03:52 PM (r+sAi)

154 Heh...the Dr. that authored the report was Johnathan Holmes.


Posted by: dananjcon at July 18, 2019 03:52 PM (xqfqx)

155 I dunno Mark, if I ever ate a pizza and it tasted like, well, you know...I'd have some serious reservations about ever ordering from them again.

Posted by: Broseidon - New Work Computer, Same Work Ethic at July 18, 2019 03:52 PM (oZ6kz)

156 I had a woman fake a stroke once.

Posted by: Can't resist temptation at July 18, 2019 03:52 PM (zFzxj)

157 I've thrown up after sex.

Posted by: Puddin Head at July 18, 2019 03:53 PM (2LelM)

158 You can stick it in anything you want.
Posted by: ThePrimordialOrderedPair at July 18, 2019 03:51 PM (6fsOH)

Today's hanging curveball is brought to you by...

Posted by: Vanya at July 18, 2019 03:53 PM (zpOyj)

159 He wasn't skilled. He had a grand mal seizure and his tongue convulsed.

Posted by: Archer at July 18, 2019 03:53 PM (gmo/4)

160
That did it.

-----

So...... YES is the correct answer.

Posted by: fixerupper at July 18, 2019 03:53 PM (8XRCm)

161 148 >>>130 I killed a woman by orgasm once. She was Canadian.

You wouldn't know her.

...

I did too, back when I was in Vietnam.
Posted by: ace at July 18, 2019 03:52 PM (PbpT7)


"Fucking plagiarist!"

- - Kerry & Blumenthal, VC (literally)

Posted by: J.J. Sefton at July 18, 2019 03:53 PM (zBaqJ)

162 148 >>>130 I killed a woman by orgasm once. She was Canadian.

You wouldn't know her.

...

I did too, back when I was in Vietnam.

Posted by: ace at July 18, 2019 03:52 PM (PbpT7)

You think you know a guy. Then you learn he destroyed a village by orgasm in order to save it.

Posted by: Someguy at July 18, 2019 03:53 PM (p997d)

163 I killed a woman by orgasm once. She was Canadian.

You wouldn't know her.
=======
ku loo ku coo coo loo ku choooo!

Take off, eh.

Hoser.

Posted by: Doug and Bob McKenzie at July 18, 2019 03:53 PM (46kCj)

164 I guess the good thing is you don't have to call her the next day.

Posted by: Guy Mohawk at July 18, 2019 03:53 PM (r+sAi)

165 Coital subarachnoid hemorrhage is a known thing. It's not like this has never happened before.

Posted by: Aviator at July 18, 2019 03:53 PM (daAqw)

166 "ve tried other things and it's usually a mess.
Posted by: ace at July 18, 2019 03:51 PM (PbpT7)"

And we're right back to David Carradine.

Posted by: Broseidon - New Work Computer, Same Work Ethic at July 18, 2019 03:53 PM (oZ6kz)

167 i've tried other things and it's usually a mess.

Posted by: ace at July 18, 2019 03:51 PM (PbpT7)


You still have to put the liquid in the special sodastream bottles so that it's sealed in the machine. And you do have to pay attention to stuff that's going to bubble out.

Posted by: ThePrimordialOrderedPair at July 18, 2019 03:53 PM (6fsOH)

168 157 I've thrown up after sex.
Posted by: Puddin Head at July 18, 2019 03:53 PM (2LelM)

Geez. You are just gonna loft that over the plate, are ya?

Posted by: Aetius451AD at July 18, 2019 03:53 PM (ycWCI)

169 157 I've thrown up after sex.
Posted by: Puddin Head at July 18, 2019 03:53 PM (2LelM)


I farted during sex. Emmes truth, sadly, although she was not that hot.

Posted by: J.J. Sefton at July 18, 2019 03:53 PM (zBaqJ)

170 BRB

Trailer for new Top Gun movie...

Posted by: TheJamesMadison, Destroyer of Worlds at July 18, 2019 03:53 PM (VyAV0)

171 This may get me a trip to the barrel.

A man is dead after using a child as a shield while shooting at police from a Fort Worth apartment Thursday.

Fort Worth police said a woman called 911 and whispered to dispatchers that there was a man with a gun inside a residence at the 2900 Broadmoor apartments and that there were people inside being held hostage, including children.

As officers arrived they took fire from a third-floor apartment. Wearing body armor, helmets and shields, officers went to the third floor and confronted the man who was using a child as a shield.

The man, whose name has not yet been released,
then raised a weapon and fired at police, hitting an officer's shield.

"Because the suspect was using a child as a shield officers could not return fire at that time and they backed away," said interim Chief of Police Ed Kraus.

As dozens of officers, including SWAT, surrounded the building, the man continued to fire on officers from the third floor, police said.

SWAT officers then went upstairs, heard more gunfire and decided to forcefully enter the residence.

"They breached the door and encountered the suspect still holding a weapon in close proximity to the children - at least one shot was fired by our SWAT officers and the suspect was hit," Kraus said.

The man was then carried downstairs by police and placed on a gurney where he was transported to an area hospital where he later died.

None of the hostages or police were injured, police said in a tweet.

Posted by: rickb223 at July 18, 2019 03:54 PM (ql3m8)

172 seems this didn't go out of hand so much as out of tongue

Posted by: Boulder t'hobo at July 18, 2019 03:54 PM (lQHj1)

173 If I have a stroke during sex, who's going to call 911?

Posted by: wth at July 18, 2019 03:54 PM (v0R5T)

174 I've thrown up after sex.
Posted by: Puddin Head at July 18, 2019 03:53 PM (2LelM)

-------

*types*
*deletes*


*types again*
*deletes*


Posted by: fixerupper at July 18, 2019 03:54 PM (8XRCm)

175 Brian Cates @drawandstrike
17s
PP had to admit IN COURT already that they were lying their asses off about their selling of human organs for profit.

Now the hammer is about to fall.

Brian Cates @drawandstrike
3m
PP switched to a PR President 8 months ago to try to keep fooling the public. I think they knew this was coming, and they are about to become even more exposed due to new undercover videos, and are shifting to a war footing. Which meant Wen had to go.



Brian Cates @drawandstrike
7m
SPREAD THE AWESOME NEWS EVER'BODY!

SPREAD IT HITHER AND YON!

SPREAD IT ACROSS THE FRUITED PLAINS FROM SEA TO SHINING SEA

LifeNews.com @LifeNewsHQ
BREAKING NEWS:

Judge Upholds David Daleiden's 1st Amendment Right to Expose Planned Parenthood Aborted Baby Part Sales

HUGE VICTORY as a liberal judge eviscerates Planned Parenthood's bogus request for $20 million in damages!

bit.ly/2JEuRQL

Posted by: Deep State is in DEEP SHIT at July 18, 2019 03:54 PM (BqBId)

176 153 I gave a girl an orgasm, just to watch her die.
Posted by: Johnny Cash at July 18, 2019 03:52 PM (r+sAi)

-------

LOL

Posted by: Seems Legit at July 18, 2019 03:54 PM (jUVms)

177 The Paolo, he look for, how you say, non-extradition country?

Posted by: Paolo at July 18, 2019 03:54 PM (NWiLs)

178 155 I dunno Mark, if I ever ate a pizza and it tasted like, well, you know...I'd have some serious reservations about ever ordering from them again.
Posted by: Broseidon - New Work Computer, Same Work Ethic at July 18, 2019 03:52 PM (oZ6kz)

They'd probably charge too much for it, anyway.

Posted by: Mark Andrew Edwards, Angry, Radical, Anti-Liberal, and Dangerous Lion: buy ammo at July 18, 2019 03:55 PM (bcbK8)

179 "The directions explicitly state nothing but water."

Doesn't mean it won't work.

Vodka should absorb CO2 gas, just like water does.

I think they put the warning there so that some idiot doesn't try to make fizzy gasoline.

Or some other really stupid shit.

Posted by: Village Idiot's Apprentice at July 18, 2019 03:55 PM (cqNba)

180 Old and Busted; I fucked the shit out of her.

New Hotness: I fucked the life out of her.

Posted by: Jukin the Deplorable and Profoundly Unserious at July 18, 2019 03:55 PM (pw+jk)

181 well look up hedge-fund tycoon Clifford Asness, who funds his "Asness Chair of Liberty."

Posted by: ace at July 18, 2019 03:50 PM (PbpT7)

--------

Well from his donor profile, he seems to love Mitt Romney sexually, so there's that.

Posted by: Yudhishthira's Dice at July 18, 2019 03:55 PM (AzW6q)

182 176 153 I gave a girl an orgasm, just to watch her die.
Posted by: Johnny Cash at July 18, 2019 03:52 PM (r+sAi)

-------

LOL
Posted by: Seems Legit at July 18, 2019 03:54 PM (jUVms)



Good thing the lyric wasn't, "I ass-banged Janet Reno, just to watch her die..."

Posted by: J.J. Sefton at July 18, 2019 03:55 PM (zBaqJ)

183 Vodka is half water anyway.

Posted by: sniffybigtoe at July 18, 2019 03:56 PM (1ISKN)

184 "I had a woman fake a stroke once.
Posted by: Can't resist temptation at July 18, 2019 03:52 PM (zFzxj)"

You faked?

Uh-huh.

With me? The whole production? The drooping, the loss of sensation in half your body, the slurred speech?

Fake, fake, fake.

Posted by: Jerry and Elaine at July 18, 2019 03:56 PM (oZ6kz)

185 Asking for a friend:

Can you use one of those SodaStream things with vodka?
========

The directions explicitly state nothing but water.
Posted by: bicentennialguy


I wasn't askin' what the directions say, poindexter.
Posted by: Warai-otoko


*snort

Posted by: rickb223 at July 18, 2019 03:56 PM (ql3m8)

186 This may get me a trip to the barrel.

Posted by: rickb223 at July 18, 2019 03:54 PM


I give it a pass, because great story, bro.

Posted by: The Barrel at July 18, 2019 03:56 PM (ejd/p)

187 Whether you are a man or woman, having sex or not, get your blood pressure checked. You might have dangerously high blood pressure without knowing it.

There, I did it. Wrote a non-racist, non-misogynist comment, of redeeming value. And funny too!

Posted by: gp, All Wrapped Up In His Own Private Idaho at July 18, 2019 03:56 PM (mk9aG)

188 If you've never watched 12 Oz Mouse you probably should.

https://hooktube.com/watch?v=tjvwQKhcidw
Posted by: Moron Robbie - New AIDS cases in '99 = 40K/yr. New HIV cases each year since? Take a guess at July 18, 2019 03:49 PM (mJzdQ)


That's 2 minutes I'll never get back.......

Posted by: Sponge at July 18, 2019 03:56 PM (Zz0t1)

189 142
It's just a CO2 cartridge. You can stick it in anything you want.

=========



Oh, really.....

Posted by: Mayor Buttplug at July 18, 2019 03:51 PM (vg8iE)

Very funny Mr. Bond.

Posted by: Bits of Zombie Dr Kananga at July 18, 2019 03:56 PM (37IEG)

190 175
Brian Cates @drawandstrike

17s

PP had to admit IN COURT already that they were lying their asses off about their selling of human organs for profit.


Hot damn, motherfuckers. Let Trump drop ONE TWEET about this, just one.

Posted by: Bill Kristol at July 18, 2019 03:56 PM (oVJmc)

191 Late to the thread but I don't care...


Her: Honey, I think I'm having a stroke.


Him: So am I.

Her: Can you stop?

Him: No. Can you?

Posted by: BurtTC at July 18, 2019 03:56 PM (a2xio)

192 Tom Cruise in a jet.

Expensive looking.

Just as I expected.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qSqVVswa420

Posted by: TheJamesMadison, Destroyer of Worlds at July 18, 2019 03:56 PM (VyAV0)

193 So when guys finish first, we're just protecting you from strokes ladies. Or WORSE.

Posted by: TexasDan at July 18, 2019 03:56 PM (yL25O)

194 138
>>>134 The directions explicitly state nothing but water.



Posted by: bicentennialguy at July 18, 2019 03:49 PM (vg8iE)



It's just a CO2 cartridge. You can stick it in anything you want.



...



i've tried other things and it's usually a mess.

Posted by: ace at July 18, 2019 03:51 PM (PbpT7)


O____O
*types**deletes**types**deletes*

Posted by: MWR, The Public Intellectual (aka Beth) at July 18, 2019 03:56 PM (rP4OC)

195 Nice!

Posted by: huge hampster news at July 18, 2019 03:57 PM (ym5eo)

196 http://bit.ly/2Gi0620
*******
Syrian Refugee Indicted In Alleged Pittsburgh Church Bombing Plot

Posted by: Deep State is in DEEP SHIT at July 18, 2019 03:57 PM (BqBId)

197 OT: My friend Miss Linda braved the nasty heat to go to the zoo today and see the lions. Only the male lion was out in the open space; the lionesses weren't. I said, "You just know the girls are back in the cave part of the enclosure, going, 'Oh, girlfriend, that male is just too, too aggressively patriarchal!' "

She mentioned she'd read some Twatter thing where SJWs were saying, "We shouldn't have zoos; it's wrong to keep animals caged up," etc. I said, "Why don't we fill the zoos with leftists, then?"

Her response: "The animals are better looking."

Posted by: Wolfus Aurelius at July 18, 2019 03:57 PM (ClOmq)

198
It's All a Myth - a limerick

With a sigh. And a moan. And a spasm.
She had a tremendous orgasm.
But for goodness sake
This story Is fake.
Female climaxes? Nobody has 'em!

Posted by: Muldoon at July 18, 2019 03:57 PM (mvenn)

199 man is dead after using a child as a shield while shooting at police from a Fort Worth apartment Thursday.

what a lowlife

Posted by: pond scum at July 18, 2019 03:57 PM (lQHj1)

200 If I have a stroke during sex, who's going to call 911?<<<<
Your other hand.

Posted by: Guy Mohawk at July 18, 2019 03:57 PM (r+sAi)

201 168 157 I've thrown up after sex.
Posted by: Puddin Head at July 18, 2019 03:53 PM (2LelM)

Geez. You are just gonna loft that over the plate, are ya?

Posted by: Aetius451AD at July 18, 2019 03:53 PM (ycWCI)

That only happens in zero-G

Posted by: Insomniac at July 18, 2019 03:57 PM (NWiLs)

202 Asking for a friend:

Can you use one of those SodaStream things with vodka?
Posted by: Warai-otoko at July 18, 2019 03:48 PM (AURKQ)
+++++++++++++
Probably at least once!

Posted by: Joe Mannix (Not a cop!) at July 18, 2019 03:57 PM (I2dne)

203 195 Nice!
Posted by: huge hampster news at July 18, 2019 03:57 PM (ym5eo)

A Richard Gere Turducken like experiment to try to get the magic back.

Posted by: Aetius451AD at July 18, 2019 03:57 PM (ycWCI)

204 I farted during sex. Emmes truth, sadly, although she was not that hot.
Posted by: J.J. Sefton at July 18, 2019 03:53 PM (zBaqJ)


One girl I dated that would queef after being done from behind.

She hated that. I would laugh.

Posted by: Sponge at July 18, 2019 03:57 PM (Zz0t1)

205 >>Happy was not Happy...
Posted by: J.J. Sefton at July 18, 2019 03:42 PM (zBaqJ)

That's funny. I still remember the front-page Times story with her walking down some steps, talking about her being "twisted with grief" or some such thing. She looked like she wanted to kill somebody. (But he was already dead.)

Posted by: Caliban at July 18, 2019 03:57 PM (qEujL)

206 Well from his donor profile, he seems to love Mitt Romney sexually, so there's that.
Posted by: Yudhishthira's Dice at July 18, 2019 03:55 PM (AzW6q)

Well, hopefully neither has a stroke while giving each other oral sex.

Posted by: FenelonSpoke at July 18, 2019 03:59 PM (+0VWg)

207 SPREAD THE AWESOME NEWS EVER'BODY!

SPREAD IT HITHER AND YON!

SPREAD IT ACROSS THE FRUITED PLAINS FROM SEA TO SHINING SEA

LifeNews.com @LifeNewsHQ
BREAKING NEWS:

Judge Upholds David Daleiden's 1st Amendment Right to Expose Planned Parenthood Aborted Baby Part Sales

HUGE VICTORY as a liberal judge eviscerates Planned Parenthood's bogus request for $20 million in damages
======
Great!

Thanks be to G-D.

Posted by: simplemind at July 18, 2019 03:59 PM (46kCj)

208 Oh boy. I forgot how disgusting vaginas are.

Posted by: sniffybigtoe at July 18, 2019 03:59 PM (1ISKN)

209 We are going to have to chip-in to buy Prissy Ben Shapiro a cone of shame to break him from sniffing Jonah`s rubber ass.

Posted by: Tentotwo at July 18, 2019 03:59 PM (yhf6w)

210
If I have a stroke during sex, who's going to call 911?
Your other hand.
Posted by: Guy Mohawk

======

lolol

Posted by: Blonde Morticia at July 18, 2019 03:59 PM (M9ntN)

211 If this happens to your significant other be sure to rub dirt on it and make her drink water. Or slap hot iron. Either will work.

Posted by: Puddin Head at July 18, 2019 03:59 PM (2LelM)

212 None of the hostages or police were injured, police said in a tweet.
Posted by: rickb223 at July 18, 2019 03:54 PM (ql3m
---
Sounds like a great job by the police. It has to take giant titanium balls to force entry in the face of gunfire.

Posted by: Meade Lux Lewis at July 18, 2019 04:00 PM (hjaPQ)

213 I do my nails during sex.

Posted by: Ann Navarro at July 18, 2019 04:00 PM (zFzxj)

214 Vodka should absorb CO2 gas, just like water does.



I think they put the warning there so that some idiot doesn't try to make fizzy gasoline.



Or some other really stupid shit.

Posted by: Village Idiot's Apprentice at July 18, 2019 03:55 PM (cqNba)


Which reminds me of something totally unrelated.
So, I was looking at some Clorox toilet cleaner thingamajigs the other day - the kind you stick in the tank to clean your toilet after every flush - and it had a big ole warning on the package that it was a federal crime to use them for any purpose other than the use for which they were intended. I assume this is so people don't use them in bombs or other weapons.

But it made me wonder if idiot YouTubers who eat Tide Pods and the like could be committing a federal crime by eating a Clorox toilet cleaner, and if so, how can we use this to our advantage to send the truly stupid among us to federal PMITA prison.

Posted by: MWR, The Public Intellectual (aka Beth) at July 18, 2019 04:00 PM (rP4OC)

215 It's never good when a girl's O-face is "Dick Clark."

Posted by: Broseidon - New Work Computer, Same Work Ethic at July 18, 2019 04:00 PM (oZ6kz)

216 179
"The directions explicitly state nothing but water."



Doesn't mean it won't work.



Vodka should absorb CO2 gas, just like water does.



I think they put the warning there so that some idiot doesn't try to make fizzy gasoline.



Or some other really stupid shit.

Posted by: Village Idiot's Apprentice at July 18, 2019 03:55 PM (cqNba)

Flame thrower idea.

Posted by: flounder, rebel, vulgarian, deplorable, winner at July 18, 2019 04:00 PM (t6MX/)

217 I mean, since you lose sensation in one side of your body, it's kind of like "The Stranger," right?

Posted by: Broseidon - New Work Computer, Same Work Ethic at July 18, 2019 04:00 PM (oZ6kz)

218 I farted during sex. Emmes truth, sadly, although she was not that hot.
Posted by: J.J. Sefton at July 18, 2019 03:53 PM (zBaqJ)


Please! Do not summon Peaches!

Posted by: DR.WTF at July 18, 2019 04:01 PM (aS1PU)

219 211
If this happens to your significant other be sure to rub dirt on it and
make her drink water. Or slap hot iron. Either will work.

Posted by: Puddin Head at July 18, 2019

*
*
. . .

Or ice. Or tell her to walk it off. Or . . .

Posted by: Wolfus Aurelius at July 18, 2019 04:01 PM (ClOmq)

220 >213
I do my nails during sex.

Posted by: Ann Navarro at July 18, 2019 04:00 PM (zFzxj)


Ain't no bedroom dark enough, ain't no standards low enough, ain't no daring strong enough, to get me to have sex with you babe.

Posted by: Muad'dib at July 18, 2019 04:01 PM (sjdRT)

221 But it made me wonder if idiot YouTubers who eat Tide Pods and the like could be committing a federal crime by eating a Clorox toilet cleaner, and if so, how can we use this to our advantage to send the truly stupid among us to federal PMITA prison.
Posted by: MWR, The Public Intellectual (aka Beth) at July 18, 2019 04:00 PM


They're on The List.

Posted by: The Federal Mattress Tag Police at July 18, 2019 04:01 PM (ejd/p)

222 I think they put the warning there so that some idiot doesn't try to make fizzy gasoline.

------

*scribbles in notebook*

Posted by: fixerupper at July 18, 2019 04:01 PM (8XRCm)

223 Is this the plot of the new James Bond film ?

Posted by: jsg at July 18, 2019 04:01 PM (4lQ2k)

224 (Sorry grandma)

Posted by: Muldoon at July 18, 2019 04:01 PM (mvenn)

225 My substandard lovemaking is, therefore, a public service.

Posted by: Bill Kristol at July 18, 2019 04:01 PM (oVJmc)

226 http://bit.ly/2Gj07mb
********
Tough Guy Jon Testes says don't run from Trump Punch him in the mouth

Posted by: Deep State is in DEEP SHIT at July 18, 2019 04:02 PM (BqBId)

227 this is just vile pro-cunnilingus propaganda. Or maybe it's helpful anti-cunnilingus news.

Posted by: Keto not Beto at July 18, 2019 04:02 PM (JziUy)

228 Ain't no bedroom dark enough, ain't no standards low enough, ain't no daring strong enough, to get me to have sex with you babe.
Posted by: Muad'dib at July 18, 2019 04:01 PM (sjdRT)


Say, that's kinda catchy....

Posted by: Marvin Gaye at July 18, 2019 04:02 PM (Zz0t1)

229 Tough Guy Jon Testes says don't run from Trump Punch him in the mouth
Posted by: Deep State is in DEEP SHIT at July 18, 2019 04:02 PM


The balls on that guy...

Posted by: RedMindBlueState at July 18, 2019 04:02 PM (ejd/p)

230 Also, new IT: Chapter 2 trailer.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HCLT_iQQ_38

I didn't like the first movie. I like Chapter 2's teaser trailer.

Oh well, I'll just go right back to not caring about this. The final trailer looks as manufactured and unscary as the first movie.

Hell, one of the "scary" moments made me laugh. Pennywise, big CGI tongue pressed up against glass.

Posted by: TheJamesMadison, Destroyer of Worlds at July 18, 2019 04:02 PM (VyAV0)

231 215
It's never good when a girl's O-face is "Dick Clark."

Posted by: Broseidon - New Work Computer, Same Work Ethic at July 18, 2019 04:00 PM (oZ6kz)

I'm going to Hell for laughing at this.

Posted by: MWR, The Public Intellectual (aka Beth) at July 18, 2019 04:02 PM (rP4OC)

232 215 It's never good when a girl's O-face is "Dick Clark."
Posted by: Broseidon - New Work Computer, Same Work Ethic at July 18, 2019 04:00 PM (oZ6kz)

*stands*

*adjusts tails*

*folds and stores lorgnette*

*holds nose slightly up*

*commences polite applause*

Posted by: Warai-otoko at July 18, 2019 04:02 PM (AURKQ)

233 213

I do my nails during sex.



Posted by: Ann Navarro at July 18, 2019 04:00 PM (zFzxj)

=====
That's a lie. Anna Navarro doesn't have sex without using at least one hand.

Posted by: Jukin the Deplorable and Profoundly Unserious at July 18, 2019 04:03 PM (pw+jk)

234 Well, hopefully neither has a stroke while giving each other oral sex.
Posted by: FenelonSpoke at July 18, 2019 03:59 PM (+0VWg)

-------

WHOA! A dirty joke from Fen! Wonders never cease!

Posted by: Yudhishthira's Dice at July 18, 2019 04:03 PM (AzW6q)

235 "After the revelations about Kristol being on the take from Omidyar, I asked him whether any big-shot leftists were bankrolling his own fat, lazy butt. "

He wouldn't dignify that with a response. clearly.

Posted by: pond scum at July 18, 2019 04:03 PM (lQHj1)

236 231 215
It's never good when a girl's O-face is "Dick Clark."

Posted by: Broseidon - New Work Computer, Same Work Ethic at July 18, 2019 04:00 PM (oZ6kz)
I'm going to Hell for laughing at this.
Posted by: MWR, The Public Intellectual (aka Beth) at July 18, 2019 04:02 PM (rP4OC)

I thought the same thing. After thinking "Damn!"

Posted by: Roy at July 18, 2019 04:03 PM (cspJy)

237 Tough Guy Jon Testes says don't run from Trump Punch him in the mouth

---

How dare that bastard improve the economy, allow seniors' invested savings to last longer, and help black men get jobs so they can help their families!

Posted by: Moron Robbie - New AIDS cases in '99 = 40K/yr. New HIV cases each year since? Take a guess at July 18, 2019 04:03 PM (mJzdQ)

238 223
Is this the plot of the new James Bond film ?

Posted by: jsg at July 18, 2019 04:01 PM (4lQ2k)
right, the black bond lesbian one. That's how she kills the Asian villainess - Poly Tung.

Posted by: DamnedYankee at July 18, 2019 04:03 PM (37IEG)

239 lol, has to suck doing top gun in an f14 then getting an f18 for the sequel.

Posted by: yankeefifth at July 18, 2019 04:03 PM (HALdu)

240
You faked?


Uh-huh.


With me? The whole production? The drooping, the loss of sensation in half your body, the slurred speech?
Fake, fake, fake.
Posted by: Jerry and Elaine at July 18, 2019

*
*
. . .
Elaine likes talking during sex.

Talking dirty?

No, just talking.

Posted by: Jerry S. at July 18, 2019 04:03 PM (ClOmq)

241 We are going to have to chip-in to buy Prissy Ben Shapiro a cone of shame to break him from sniffing Jonah`s rubber ass.
Posted by: Tentotwo at July 18, 2019 03:59 PM (yhf6w)


Was this before or after his sister stopped fucking him in his?

Posted by: Marvin Gaye at July 18, 2019 04:03 PM (Zz0t1)

242 off slimy sock

Posted by: Boulder t'hobo at July 18, 2019 04:03 PM (lQHj1)

243 235 "After the revelations about Kristol being on the take from Omidyar, I asked him whether any big-shot leftists were bankrolling his own fat, lazy butt. "

He wouldn't dignify that with a response. clearly.
Posted by: pond scum at July 18, 2019 04:03 PM (lQHj1)

===========

Just like Omar and the idea that she's communist, huh?

Posted by: TheJamesMadison, Destroyer of Worlds at July 18, 2019 04:04 PM (VyAV0)

244
Oral sex.

Thats an old couple yelling "fuck you" at each other. Right?

Posted by: fixerupper at July 18, 2019 04:04 PM (8XRCm)

245 Coital subarachnoid hemorrhage is a known thing. It's not like this has never happened before.

Posted by: Aviator at July 18, 2019 03:53 PM (daAqw)


Brings up the old joke:

When I die, I want to go peacefully in my sleep.....


Not screaming in bloody terror, like grandma and the other passengers in the car.

Posted by: BurtTC at July 18, 2019 04:04 PM (a2xio)

246 OT, The USWNT has been incredibly silent for the supposed world influencing champions they claimed to be haven't they? I wonder if they got their equal pay yet. /s

Posted by: IP at July 18, 2019 04:04 PM (gPZ9i)

247 I read yesterday that the latest social media craze is nailing a piece of bread to a tree and posting a picture of it.

I don't get it.

Posted by: Meade Lux Lewis at July 18, 2019 04:04 PM (hjaPQ)

248 My substandard lovemaking is, therefore, a public service.


Posted by: Bill Kristol at July 18, 2019 04:01 PM (oVJmc)

====
But you still might go to jail as a n accomplice by getting a really hung bull for your wife.

Posted by: Jukin the Deplorable and Profoundly Unserious at July 18, 2019 04:05 PM (pw+jk)

249 247 I read yesterday that the latest social media craze is nailing a piece of bread to a tree and posting a picture of it.

I don't get it.
Posted by: Meade Lux Lewis at July 18, 2019 04:04 PM (hjaPQ)

===========

If you look for meaning or sense after the cinnamon challenge, then you have more patience for all this nonsense than I do.

Posted by: TheJamesMadison, Destroyer of Worlds at July 18, 2019 04:05 PM (VyAV0)

250 Did Jonah steal some more of Ace's work recently?

Posted by: JAS at July 18, 2019 04:05 PM (I5SAg)

251 Still plugging this.

Bill Whittle - What We Saw Part 1: We Choose To Go To The Moon

https://youtu.be/1L_11fggn0Q

Its four parts, four hours long and it's Bill fucking Whittle.

Posted by: Robert, plugging away at July 18, 2019 04:05 PM (1Yy3c)

252
247 I read yesterday that the latest social media craze is nailing a piece of bread to a tree and posting a picture of it.

I don't get it.
--------------------
Commentary on white bread?

Posted by: Puddin Head at July 18, 2019 04:05 PM (2LelM)

253 Damn singer sock....

Posted by: Sponge at July 18, 2019 04:05 PM (Zz0t1)

254 The ejaculations... ummm-interjections-are funnier than that actual comments on the topic. "Hey, can you tell me about soda stream?" or "I noticed this warning on a toilet bowl cleaner". I laughed. No thread ever stays on topic.

Posted by: FenelonSpoke at July 18, 2019 04:05 PM (+0VWg)

255 It's never good when a girl's O-face is "Dick Clark."

Posted by: Broseidon - New Work Computer, Same Work Ethic at July 18, 2019 04:00 PM (oZ6kz)
I'm going to Hell for laughing at this.
Posted by: MWR, The Public Intellectual (aka Beth) at July 18, 2019 04:02 PM (rP4OC)

I thought the same thing. After thinking "Damn!"
Posted by: Roy at July 18, 2019 04:03 PM (cspJy)

-----

yeah.... now all ya'all are going to be looking for Dick Clark "next time".... right?

Posted by: fixerupper at July 18, 2019 04:05 PM (8XRCm)

256 lol, you know,every guy should walk out in the middle of sex at least once, changes things in your favor.

Posted by: yankeefifth at July 18, 2019 04:06 PM (HALdu)

257 247 I read yesterday that the latest social media craze is nailing a piece of bread to a tree and posting a picture of it.

I don't get it.
Posted by: Meade Lux Lewis at July 18, 2019 04:04 PM (hjaPQ)

I thought it was giving the Russians a picture of your face to use for whatever they want, just so you can have a funny old face shopped back to you.

Posted by: Roy at July 18, 2019 04:06 PM (cspJy)

258 >>>230 Also, new IT: Chapter 2 trailer.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HCLT_iQQ_38

I didn't like the first movie. I like Chapter 2's teaser trailer.

Oh well, I'll just go right back to not caring about this. The final trailer looks as manufactured and unscary as the first movie.


...

I do not care at all.

That said, the Pitch Meeting for "It" is one of the best he's done.

Posted by: ace at July 18, 2019 04:06 PM (PbpT7)

259 I read yesterday that the latest social media craze is nailing a piece of bread to a tree and posting a picture of it.

I don't get it.
Posted by: Meade Lux Lewis at July 18, 2019 04:04 PM (hjaPQ)


People are getting dumber by the minute.

We're not 100 years left for this planet.

Posted by: Sponge at July 18, 2019 04:06 PM (Zz0t1)

260 Billy Squier's royalties payments hardest hit!!!!
Posted by: J.J. Sefton at July 18, 2019 03:39 PM (zBaqJ)

==========

BahahahahahahahahaHAHAHAHAHA!!!!

Posted by: Pinochet Air Tours Flt Attendant at July 18, 2019 04:06 PM (67aEn)

261 Pillow talk now has to be the SMILE test.

Posted by: TexasDan at July 18, 2019 04:06 PM (yL25O)

262 The BMJ case report on this incident was co-authored by, get this... Jonathan Holmes.

Posted by: wth at July 18, 2019 04:07 PM (v0R5T)

263 lol, or when the girls o-face makes you laugh

Posted by: yankeefifth at July 18, 2019 04:07 PM (HALdu)

264 Speaking of the US space program, did anybody else see the recent low-budget Challenger Disaster movie? I think it's made by the same folks who did Gosnell.

It's about the argument the night before the launch, where the engineers try to flail their way thru the typical Dilbert-Zone dysfunctional groupthink cover-your-ass management gauntlet. I think most engineers will sympathize with the story.

And it has Dean Cain!

Posted by: gp, Self-Censoring Racist at July 18, 2019 04:07 PM (mk9aG)

265 So I'm the only one who thinks it's weird Tom Cruise is doing a Top Gun sequel?

Posted by: eleven at July 18, 2019 04:07 PM (tH5fk)

266 This thread is getting a bit confusing. Was someone suggesting using alcohol during the act or using a SodaStream during the act?

The next ONT could be very "interesting."

Posted by: WarEagle82 at July 18, 2019 04:07 PM (+Kpte)

267 yeah.... now all ya'all are going to be looking for Dick Clark "next time".... right?

Posted by: fixerupper at July 18, 2019 04:05 PM (8XRCm)

I'd have to hold a mirror. I don't think my husband even knows who Dick Clark was.

Posted by: MWR, The Public Intellectual (aka Beth) at July 18, 2019 04:07 PM (rP4OC)

268 247 I read yesterday that the latest social media craze is nailing a piece of bread to a tree and posting a picture of it.


I don't get it.

Posted by: Meade Lux Lewis at July 18, 2019

*
*
. . .
"Anybody who ever said 'Anything is possible' never tried to nail Jello to a tree."
(I forget who said it, maybe Buffy the Vampire Slayer)

Posted by: Wolfus Aurelius at July 18, 2019 04:07 PM (ClOmq)

269 255
It's never good when a girl's O-face is "Dick Clark."



Posted by: Broseidon - New Work Computer, Same Work Ethic at July 18, 2019 04:00 PM (oZ6kz)

You young guys...don't know nuthin.

If you can see her face you definitely ain't doing it right.

I renounce myself again.

Posted by: DamnedYankee at July 18, 2019 04:07 PM (37IEG)

270 Dam, Ace is on to my gig... That means I'll have to get off the couch to get some more hummus and pita chips, and think of new ways to rip off Ace... Don't forget I am the managing partner/editor of a new "cool kids" (even though I am 50) webzine/listicle thingy coming soon! Tweet me with new ideas, so we can take back our "conservatism" (even though "conservatism" hasn't won crapola in any of the culture wars, since forever, we don't die on hills, unless we get cash, and even then we still won't die...to much work) from this less than desirable man from the detested borough of Queens, NY. I am still the "cool kid conservative" of 20 years ago, see how hot the "The Corner" still is at my old stomping grounds...?
Ahoy!

Posted by: Cap'n Joney "the fat cuck" Goldberg at July 18, 2019 04:07 PM (G+vPL)

271 TBH, the girl only had half of an o-face.

Posted by: Roy at July 18, 2019 04:07 PM (cspJy)

272 Sorry. FAST test

Posted by: TexasDan at July 18, 2019 04:07 PM (yL25O)

273 258
...

I do not care at all.

That said, the Pitch Meeting for "It" is one of the best he's done.
Posted by: ace at July 18, 2019 04:06 PM (PbpT7)

========

I liked the teaser trailer for 2, but that was it.

I found the first movie boring and very unscary.

Posted by: TheJamesMadison, Destroyer of Worlds at July 18, 2019 04:07 PM (VyAV0)

274 ********
Tough Guy Jon Testes says don't run from Trump Punch him in the mouth
Posted by: Deep State is in DEEP SHIT at July 18, 2019 04:02 PM (BqBId)


Trump should call him to The White House for a meeting.

Posted by: Sponge at July 18, 2019 04:08 PM (Zz0t1)

275 266
This thread is getting a bit confusing. Was someone suggesting using
alcohol during the act or using a SodaStream during the act?



The next ONT could be very "interesting."

Posted by: WarEagle82 at July 18, 2019 04:07 PM (+Kpte)

Why limit yourself? Use alcohol and a SodaStream AT THE SAME TIME during sex.

Posted by: MWR, The Public Intellectual (aka Beth) at July 18, 2019 04:08 PM (rP4OC)

276 So, what is their point in nailing a piece of white bread to a tree?

Posted by: FenelonSpoke at July 18, 2019 04:08 PM (+0VWg)

277
We're not 100 years left for this planet.

Posted by: Sponge at July 18, 2019 04:06 PM (Zz0t1)
Less than 12 you know!

Posted by: Oscazio Consquestidorio at July 18, 2019 04:08 PM (37IEG)

278 That's a lie. Anna Navarro doesn't have sex without using at least one hand.
Posted by: Jukin the Deplorable and Profoundly Unserious at July 18, 2019 04:03 PM (pw+jk)

How else is she gonna hold a cuban sandwich?

Posted by: Warai-otoko at July 18, 2019 04:08 PM (AURKQ)

279 lol, you know, very few women appreciate laughter during sex.

Posted by: yankeefifth at July 18, 2019 04:08 PM (HALdu)

280 I read yesterday that the latest social media craze is nailing a piece of bread to a tree and posting a picture of it.

I don't get it.
Posted by: Meade Lux Lewis at July 18, 2019 04:04 PM (hjaPQ)

===========

If you look for meaning or sense after the cinnamon challenge, then you have more patience for all this nonsense than I do.
Posted by: TheJamesMadison, Destroyer of Worlds at July 18, 2019 04:05 PM (VyAV0)

--------

I wonder if I could trick today's kids/millennials into nailing their dicks to stuff.

Like, get some really good movie special effects/makeup to make it really, really look like I nailed my dick to the door, and then just do the soyface grin and throw up my horns and stick out and tongue, and see if I can get it to go viral.

Call it the #DickNailChallenge.

Posted by: Yudhishthira's Dice at July 18, 2019 04:08 PM (AzW6q)

281 265 So I'm the only one who thinks it's weird Tom Cruise is doing a Top Gun sequel?
Posted by: eleven at July 18, 2019 04:07 PM (tH5fk)

Not weird. Just inevitable.

Posted by: Aetius451AD at July 18, 2019 04:08 PM (ycWCI)

282 Doctor: She needs rest.

Guy turns to nurse next to him: How you doin!

Posted by: The Man from Athens at July 18, 2019 04:09 PM (Ssh2k)

283 *scribbles in notebook*
Posted by: fixerupper at July 18, 2019 04:01 PM (8XRCm)

---------

hhahahahaha

Posted by: Seems Legit at July 18, 2019 04:09 PM (jUVms)

284 I read yesterday that the latest social media craze is nailing a piece of bread to a tree and posting a picture of it.



I don't get it.

Posted by: Meade Lux Lewis at July 18, 2019 04:04 PM (hjaPQ)




Someone needs to invert this meme by nailing a tree to a piece of bread.

Posted by: MWR, The Public Intellectual (aka Beth) at July 18, 2019 04:09 PM (rP4OC)

285 That's a lie. Anna Navarro doesn't have sex without using at least one hand.
Posted by: Jukin the Deplorable and Profoundly Unserious at July 18, 2019 04:03 PM (pw+jk)

How else is she gonna hold a cuban sandwich?
========
*golf clap*

Posted by: simplemind at July 18, 2019 04:09 PM (Pabj7)

286 247 I read yesterday that the latest social media craze is nailing a piece of bread to a tree and posting a picture of it.

===
You use your penis to drive in the nail.

Posted by: Jukin the Deplorable and Profoundly Unserious at July 18, 2019 04:09 PM (pw+jk)

287 The interwebz say that The Stroke is about the music biz.

Sort of the Billy Squier version of Pink Floyd's Have a Cigar.

Posted by: shibumi, future dental floss tycoon at July 18, 2019 04:09 PM (AkkRZ)

288 A poke and a stroke we always called it.
Posted by: eleven at July 18, 2019 03:42 PM

Get poke go stroke.

Posted by: JuJuBee, just generally being shamey at July 18, 2019 04:09 PM (COzlW)

289 All old movies will have sequels for fifteen minutes. - Andy Warhol.

Posted by: Guy Mohawk at July 18, 2019 04:09 PM (r+sAi)

290 264 Speaking of the US space program, did anybody else see the recent low-budget Challenger Disaster movie? I think it's made by the same folks who did Gosnell.

It's about the argument the night before the launch, where the engineers try to flail their way thru the typical Dilbert-Zone dysfunctional groupthink cover-your-ass management gauntlet. I think most engineers will sympathize with the story.
---
This touches a nerve--my dad was a chemical engineer with Thiokol. Yes, Thiokol engineers did everything short of murder to try to prevent the launch.

Posted by: Meade Lux Lewis at July 18, 2019 04:09 PM (hjaPQ)

291 So I'm the only one who thinks it's weird Tom Cruise is doing a Top Gun sequel?
Posted by: eleven at July 18, 2019 04:07 PM (tH5fk)

Not weird. Just inevitable.
Posted by: Aetius451AD at July 18, 2019 04:08 PM (ycWCI)


I'll admit, it doesn't look like utter shit.....Not sure I care enough to see it where I pay, however.

Posted by: Sponge at July 18, 2019 04:10 PM (Zz0t1)

292 I wonder if I could trick today's kids/millennials into nailing their dicks to stuff.

Like, get some really good movie special effects/makeup to make it really, really look like I nailed my dick to the door, and then just do the soyface grin and throw up my horns and stick out and tongue, and see if I can get it to go viral.

Call it the #DickNailChallenge.
=====
Please do not take this idea to the chans.

Posted by: simplemind at July 18, 2019 04:10 PM (nMWXM)

293 Why limit yourself? Use alcohol and a SodaStream AT THE SAME TIME during sex.
Posted by: MWR, The Public Intellectual (aka Beth) at July 18, 2019 04:08 PM


Drunken clown sex? Kinky....

Posted by: RedMindBlueState at July 18, 2019 04:10 PM (ejd/p)

294 So I'm the only one who thinks it's weird Tom Cruise is doing a Top Gun sequel?

Posted by: eleven at July 18, 2019 04:07 PM (tH5fk)
........

It won't be weird if John Travolta is in it.

Posted by: wth at July 18, 2019 04:10 PM (v0R5T)

295 I'm irritated Ace made me think of Jonah Goldberg naked. Yikes.

Posted by: Seems Legit at July 18, 2019 04:10 PM (jUVms)

296 On my afternoon run past the thrift store, I scored the board game for the Patrick McGoohan TV series 'Secret Agent.' Probably 1966. Happy dance for cool thing.

Posted by: Bill Kristol at July 18, 2019 04:10 PM (oVJmc)

297
lol, you know, very few women appreciate laughter during sex.

Posted by: yankeefifth at July 18, 2019 04:08 PM (HALdu)


When women laugh, it feels... funny.


Or so I've heard.

Posted by: BurtTC at July 18, 2019 04:10 PM (a2xio)

298 Tom will be the wing commander and will have a wildcat new pilot to brake in.

Posted by: Skip at July 18, 2019 04:10 PM (BbGew)

299 And another one:

Jay and Silent Bob Reboot

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rq3_FmNUHx0

Looks unfunny like the last 15 years or so of Kevin Smith films.

Huzzah. I'm so glad he can get funding, but my dreams of being a filmmaker will probably always go unfulfilled.

*settles down to write screenplay that will probably never get produced, but dammit, I'm writing it anyway*

Posted by: TheJamesMadison, Destroyer of Worlds at July 18, 2019 04:11 PM (VyAV0)

300 you know in some countries, and minneapolis, "who's your brother" is much more common than "who's your daddy."

Posted by: yankeefifth at July 18, 2019 04:11 PM (HALdu)

301 278 How else is she gonna hold a cuban sandwich?
Posted by: Warai-otoko at July 18, 2019 04:08 PM (AURKQ)

In the folds of her whale-like gunt.

Posted by: Hikaru at July 18, 2019 04:11 PM (UnA8+)

302 Well apparently Gen Z will do just about anything that has "Challenge" after it, so...

The Chemical Castration Challenge!

Posted by: Broseidon - New Work Computer, Same Work Ethic at July 18, 2019 04:11 PM (oZ6kz)

303 A poke and a stroke we always called it.

Posted by: eleven at July 18, 2019 03:42 PM



Get poke go stroke.

Posted by: JuJuBee, just generally being shamey at July 18, 2019 04:09 PM (COzlW)

===
A good poke will do that.

Posted by: Jukin the Deplorable and Profoundly Unserious at July 18, 2019 04:11 PM (pw+jk)

304 Off sock.

Posted by: Mr. Peebles at July 18, 2019 04:11 PM (oVJmc)

305 It's about the argument the night before the launch, where the engineers try to flail their way thru the typical Dilbert-Zone dysfunctional groupthink cover-your-ass management gauntlet. I think most engineers will sympathize with the story.

Posted by: gp, Self-Censoring Racist at July 18, 2019 04:07 PM (mk9aG)

--

I checked out a book recently that had a bunch of interesting letters from throughout history. One was from the engineer who (IIRC) wrote a media outlet or CC'd a media outlet in a letter to his higher ups regarding the knowledge of what would, and did, happen.

He was apparently blackballed and his life ruined for being right and trying to keep the shuttle from exploding.

Posted by: Moron Robbie - New AIDS cases in '99 = 40K/yr. New HIV cases each year since? Take a guess at July 18, 2019 04:11 PM (mJzdQ)

306 Yet another thread that's an Abigail Shapiro callback. Keep it up ace!

Posted by: Max Power at July 18, 2019 04:11 PM (q177U)

307 I don't get it.

Posted by: Meade Lux Lewis at July 18, 2019 04:04 PM (hjaPQ)

------

I don't either.

Posted by: Seems Legit at July 18, 2019 04:11 PM (jUVms)

308 Have they done the three film prequels for the matrix yet?

Posted by: Guy Mohawk at July 18, 2019 04:11 PM (r+sAi)

309
Looks unfunny like the last 15 years or so of Kevin Smith films.


Funny like a massive heart attack.

Posted by: Mr. Peebles at July 18, 2019 04:12 PM (oVJmc)

310 291 So I'm the only one who thinks it's weird Tom Cruise is doing a Top Gun sequel?
Posted by: eleven at July 18, 2019 04:07 PM (tH5fk)

Not weird. Just inevitable.
Posted by: Aetius451AD at July 18, 2019 04:08 PM (ycWCI)

I'll admit, it doesn't look like utter shit.....Not sure I care enough to see it where I pay, however.
Posted by: Sponge at July 18, 2019 04:10 PM (Zz0t1)

============

It looks expensively produced, which is about all you can get from a trailer at this point.

Maybe it'll deal with Maverick aging. Have an interesting theme that ties in with fighter pilots against drones.

Or, it'll just be an excuse for Tom Cruise to learn to fly a jet for real.

Could be fun.

Posted by: TheJamesMadison, Destroyer of Worlds at July 18, 2019 04:12 PM (VyAV0)

311 I wonder if I could trick today's kids/millennials into nailing their dicks to stuff.

Like, get some really good movie special effects/makeup to make it really, really look like I nailed my dick to the door, and then just do the soyface grin and throw up my horns and stick out and tongue, and see if I can get it to go viral.

Call it the #DickNailChallenge.
Posted by: Yudhishthira's Dice at July 18, 2019 04:08 PM (AzW6q)


Steve-O stapled his nutsack to his leg on The Howard Stern Show a decade ago.

Posted by: Sponge at July 18, 2019 04:12 PM (Zz0t1)

312 Did someone say stroke?

Posted by: Master Bates at July 18, 2019 04:12 PM (Zx6uT)

313 279
lol, you know, very few women appreciate laughter during sex.

Posted by: yankeefifth at July 18, 2019 04:08 PM (HALdu)
Yeah, I found that out the hard way one night.

Posted by: DamnedYankee at July 18, 2019 04:12 PM (37IEG)

314 So I'm the only one who thinks it's weird Tom Cruise is doing a Top Gun sequel?



Posted by: eleven at July 18, 2019 04:07 PM (tH5fk)


It was a 50/50 chance between getting a sequel or a reboot. There are no new ideas.

Posted by: MWR, The Public Intellectual (aka Beth) at July 18, 2019 04:12 PM (rP4OC)

315 229
Tough Guy Jon Testes says don't run from Trump Punch him in the mouth

Posted by: Deep State is in DEEP SHIT at July 18, 2019 04:02 PM



The balls on that guy...

Posted by: RedMindBlueState at July 18, 2019 04:02 PM (ejd/p)

I just got that.

Posted by: flounder, rebel, vulgarian, deplorable, winner at July 18, 2019 04:12 PM (t6MX/)

316 On man, I bet Jay and Silent Bob will have Jay talking about PUSSY and WEED and COMIC REFERENCES

Actors from the View Askewniverse playing themselves!

Reminders that Kevin Smith was actually funny 20 years ago!

Posted by: Broseidon - New Work Computer, Same Work Ethic at July 18, 2019 04:12 PM (oZ6kz)

317 You use your penis to drive in the nail.
Posted by: Jukin the Deplorable and Profoundly Unserious at July 18, 2019 04:09 PM


Susan: Can you hammer a six inch spike through a board with your penis?

Chris Knight: Not yet...

Susan: A girl's gotta have her standards.

Posted by: RedMindBlueState at July 18, 2019 04:12 PM (ejd/p)

318 "So, what is their point in nailing a piece of white bread to a tree?"

That would be a "Tree and Nail Open Sandwich."

Posted by: gp, Self-Censoring Racist at July 18, 2019 04:12 PM (mk9aG)

319 30 What's an orgasm?
Posted by: Ilhan "Sultana of the Squad" Omar
__________________

You'll have to dig your clit up out of the backyard (or where ever the islamo-butcher buried it after he hacked it off) and ask it.

Posted by: TrivialPursuer at July 18, 2019 04:12 PM (k4dH2)

320 301 278 How else is she gonna hold a cuban sandwich?
Posted by: Warai-otoko at July 18, 2019 04:08 PM (AURKQ)

In the folds of her whale-like gunt.
Posted by: Hikaru at July 18, 2019 04:11 PM (UnA8+)

She already stores the Twinkies and Ding-Dongs in there, in case she feels a bit peckish.

Posted by: Roy at July 18, 2019 04:12 PM (cspJy)

321 It was Jonah's wife. Just not Jonah. It was the gardener.

Posted by: Marcus T at July 18, 2019 04:13 PM (VpIIl)

322 Posted by: Meade Lux Lewis at July 18, 2019 04:04 PM (hjaPQ)



Someone needs to invert this meme by nailing a tree to a piece of bread.


Posted by: MWR, The Public Intellectual (aka Beth) at July 18, 2019 04:09 PM (rP4OC)


Probably already been done, but I wouldn't know. Pewdiepie has been playing Minecraft for the last few weeks, so I'm completely ignorant of current memes.

Posted by: BurtTC at July 18, 2019 04:13 PM (a2xio)

323 "Steve-O stapled his nutsack to his leg on The Howard Stern Show a decade ago.
Posted by: Sponge at July 18, 2019 04:12 PM (Zz0t1)"

I can't believe they let me on Jeopardy after that.

Posted by: Broseidon - New Work Computer, Same Work Ethic at July 18, 2019 04:13 PM (oZ6kz)

324 Tough Guy Jon Testes says don't run from Trump Punch him in the mouth
Posted by: Deep State is in DEEP SHIT at July 18, 2019 04:02 PM

When did this become a thing? I don't remember this ever happening with any other president.
You got DeNiro and some other guys OPENLY talking about punching or beating up the president. Or "kicking his ass"

It's not funny anymore and they should nip this in the bud before someone takes them up on it.

Posted by: JoeF. at July 18, 2019 04:13 PM (NFEMn)

325 I'm voting Yang!

Andrew Yang
@AndrewYang
This is what $1,000 looks like. Imagine getting it once a month. We can make the #FreedomDividend real for every American.

Posted by: Anonosaurus Wrecks, Tyrannosaur Wrangler at July 18, 2019 04:13 PM (+y/Ru)

326 Looks unfunny like the last 15 years or so of Kevin Smith films.

Huzzah. I'm so glad he can get funding, but my dreams of being a filmmaker will probably always go unfulfilled.

*settles down to write screenplay that will probably never get produced, but dammit, I'm writing it anyway*
Posted by: TheJamesMadison, Destroyer of Worlds at July 18, 2019 04:11 PM (VyAV0)


Put plenty of F-bombs and drug references.

Though these days you need a trans character, too. One who is more noble, intelligent, strong, and good hearted than any other character.

Posted by: blaster at July 18, 2019 04:13 PM (9VeU0)

327 I just got that.
Posted by: flounder, rebel, vulgarian, deplorable, winner at July 18, 2019 04:12 PM


I was getting worried about you guys.

Posted by: RedMindBlueState at July 18, 2019 04:13 PM (ejd/p)

328 314
It was a 50/50 chance between getting a sequel or a reboot. There are no new ideas.
Posted by: MWR, The Public Intellectual (aka Beth) at July 18, 2019 04:12 PM (rP4OC)

===========

There are plenty of new ideas, but the movie going public seems to have no interest in anything other than Marvel movies and Disney reboots of 90s animated films (specifically 90s...the rest seem to just bomb).

Posted by: TheJamesMadison, Destroyer of Worlds at July 18, 2019 04:14 PM (VyAV0)

329 Billy Squier comes to mind...

So to speak.

Posted by: Marcus T at July 18, 2019 04:14 PM (VpIIl)

330 How else is she gonna hold a cuban sandwich?
Posted by: Warai-otoko at July 18, 2019 04:08 PM (AURKQ)

In the folds of her whale-like gunt.
Posted by: Hikaru at July 18, 2019 04:11 PM (UnA8+)

She already stores the Twinkies and Ding-Dongs in there, in case she feels a bit peckish.
Posted by: Roy at July 18, 2019 04:12 PM (cspJy)


Why do I keep picturing that footage where the dead whale explodes on that guy........

Posted by: Sponge at July 18, 2019 04:14 PM (Zz0t1)

331 316 On man, I bet Jay and Silent Bob will have Jay talking about PUSSY and WEED and COMIC REFERENCES

Actors from the View Askewniverse playing themselves!

Reminders that Kevin Smith was actually funny 20 years ago!
Posted by: Broseidon - New Work Computer, Same Work Ethic at July 18, 2019 04:12 PM (oZ6kz)

=========

David Gordon Greene said years ago that Kevin Smith actually takes the art of film backwards.

He was right.

Posted by: TheJamesMadison, Destroyer of Worlds at July 18, 2019 04:14 PM (VyAV0)

332 264 Speaking of the US space program, did anybody else see the recent low-budget Challenger Disaster movie? I think it's made by the same folks who did Gosnell.

It's about the argument the night before the launch, where the engineers try to flail their way thru the typical Dilbert-Zone dysfunctional groupthink cover-your-ass management gauntlet. I think most engineers will sympathize with the story.

And it has Dean Cain!
Posted by: gp, Self-Censoring Racist at July 18, 2019 04:07 PM (mk9aG)




I'm pretty sure it was the Challenger launch, but I could be confusing it with another one.

I think a day or two before, a launch attempt was scrubbed due to a broken hatch bolt that had to be drilled out. The weather was warmer that day.

I clearly remember a network news anchor tsk-tsking about NASA's endless delays for such trivial matters. It might have been Dan Rather.

Was this in the movie? It might have influenced the managers' thinking.

Posted by: rickl at July 18, 2019 04:14 PM (xjiRE)

333 President Trump said Thursday that a U.S. warship had destroyed an Iranian drone in Strait of Hormuz amid heightened tensions between the two nations.

Posted by: SMOD at July 18, 2019 04:14 PM (QkjLD)

334 330 How else is she gonna hold a cuban sandwich?

--------

Is that a euphemism?

Posted by: Seems Legit at July 18, 2019 04:15 PM (jUVms)

335 ol, you know, very few women appreciate laughter during sex.

Posted by: yankeefifth at July 18, 2019 04:08 PM (HALdu)
Yeah, I found that out the hard way one night.
Posted by: DamnedYankee at J


yeah, you know, there is no good answer

her what are you laughing at

him nothing
was thinking of something funny
was remembering funny joke
something tickled me
your o face
your mom was licking my taint made me remember the way your sister did the same.

Posted by: yankeefifth at July 18, 2019 04:15 PM (HALdu)

336 There are plenty of new ideas, but the movie going public seems to have no interest in anything other than Marvel movies and Disney reboots of 90s animated films (specifically 90s...the rest seem to just bomb).
Posted by: TheJamesMadison, Destroyer of Worlds at July 18, 2019 04:14 PM (VyAV0)


Aren't they losing money mostly on movies nowadays?

Posted by: Sponge at July 18, 2019 04:15 PM (Zz0t1)

337 333 President Trump said Thursday that a U.S. warship had destroyed an Iranian drone in Strait of Hormuz amid heightened tensions between the two nations.
Posted by: SMOD at July 18, 2019 04:14 PM (QkjLD)

USS BOXER

Posted by: Nevergiveup at July 18, 2019 04:15 PM (yWXpx)

338 My girlfriend, she loves to talk during sex.


I get phone calls, day and night.


Posted by: commenter who loves that Dangerfield joke at July 18, 2019 04:16 PM (QDnY+)

339 So I'm the only one who thinks it's weird Tom Cruise is doing a Top Gun sequel?



Posted by: eleven at July 18, 2019 04:07 PM (tH5fk)

He could do a sequel to Edge of Tomorrow by just releasing it again.

Posted by: Can't resist temptation at July 18, 2019 04:16 PM (zFzxj)

340 Kevin Bacon in a remake of Tremors I would see.

Posted by: Puddin Head at July 18, 2019 04:16 PM (2LelM)

341 Andrew Yang
@AndrewYang
This is what $1,000 looks like. Imagine getting it once a month. We can make the #FreedomDividend real for every American.
Posted by: Anonosaurus Wrecks, Tyrannosaur Wrangler at July 18, 2019 04:13 PM (+y/Ru)

----------

Ummmmm.... I know this is against the rules, but...

350 million Americans x $1,000 X 12 months = $4.2 trillion annually.

Freedom has one hell of a dividend.

Posted by: Yudhishthira's Dice at July 18, 2019 04:16 PM (AzW6q)

342 I think the people who live in Jon Tester's state should consider e-mailing or calling him, because it's one thing to say, "Answer Trump back" and another to say "Punch him the mouth."

Posted by: FenelonSpoke at July 18, 2019 04:16 PM (+0VWg)

343 It is a weird era when streaming services make better movies than what goes to the cinema.

Posted by: Guy Mohawk at July 18, 2019 04:16 PM (r+sAi)

344 > By the way, didn't Nelson Rockefeller have a heart attack and die during sex with someone not his wife?

Yes, his "personal assistant". There's a well-known picture of her wearing what would today probably be a $15-20,000 fur coat, as personal assistants commonly do, and he also bought her a luxury condo in the same building as his office, another well-known standard perq of the personal assistant bidness.


O/T: The Navy just shot down an Iranian drone.

Posted by: Rodrigo Borgia at July 18, 2019 04:16 PM (GDooN)

345 Maybe it'll deal with Maverick aging. Have an interesting theme that ties in with fighter pilots against drones.

Or, it'll just be an excuse for Tom Cruise to learn to fly a jet for real.

Could be fun.
Posted by: TheJamesMadison, Destroyer of Worlds at July 18, 2019 04:12 PM (VyAV0)


I think he is commander of Top Gun school.

My guess is he has to deal with brash young pilots writing checks their bodies can't cash.

And banging hot astrophysicists.

Posted by: blaster at July 18, 2019 04:16 PM (9VeU0)

346 There is a green turd on FOX

Posted by: Nevergiveup at July 18, 2019 04:16 PM (yWXpx)

347 How else is she gonna hold a cuban sandwich?

--------

Is that a euphemism?
Posted by: Seems Legit at July 18, 2019 04:15 PM (jUVms)


My head immediately went to Bachelor Party and the Strip Club Hot Dog.

Posted by: Sponge at July 18, 2019 04:16 PM (Zz0t1)

348 336 There are plenty of new ideas, but the movie going public seems to have no interest in anything other than Marvel movies and Disney reboots of 90s animated films (specifically 90s...the rest seem to just bomb).
Posted by: TheJamesMadison, Destroyer of Worlds at July 18, 2019 04:14 PM (VyAV0)

Aren't they losing money mostly on movies nowadays?
Posted by: Sponge at July 18, 2019 04:15 PM (Zz0t1)

==========

Profits from Marvel movies fund a lot of other projects.

But yeah, Hollywood seems to be in some level of collapse right now. A bunch of expensive movies are bombing.

Still, Baby Driver came out a few years ago, and whether you liked it or not, it was an original film not based on any previous property. It did manage to make money.

These things do exist, but if all you do is pay attention to the loudest ads, it looks like there's nothing but Disney properties.

Posted by: TheJamesMadison, Destroyer of Worlds at July 18, 2019 04:17 PM (VyAV0)

349 There are plenty of new ideas, but the movie going public seems to
have no interest in anything other than Marvel movies and Disney reboots
of 90s animated films (specifically 90s...the rest seem to just bomb).

Posted by: TheJamesMadison, Destroyer of Worlds at July 18, 2019 04:14 PM (VyAV0)


True. Though I think it's less that the movie-going public has no interest in anything new, and more the studios are too scared to risk money on anything but a "sure thing," despite the fact most of their "sure things" absolutely suck balls lately.

Posted by: MWR, The Public Intellectual (aka Beth) at July 18, 2019 04:17 PM (rP4OC)

350 Tough Guy Jon Testes says don't run from Trump Punch him in the mouth

Posted by: Deep State is in DEEP SHIT at July 18, 2019 04:02 PM

*
Now thats beautiful man.


Posted by: J. Biden at July 18, 2019 04:17 PM (xqfqx)

351 293 Why limit yourself? Use alcohol and a SodaStream AT THE SAME TIME during sex.
Posted by: MWR, The Public Intellectual (aka Beth) at July 18, 2019 04:08 PM

Drunken clown sex? Kinky....
Posted by: RedMindBlueState at July 18, 2019 04:10 PM (ejd/p)

A little song
A little dance
A little seltzer down your pants and then smokin' hot clown sex

Posted by: joncelli and the angry crowd around him at July 18, 2019 04:17 PM (RD7QR)

352 Andrew Yang

@AndrewYang

This is what $1,000 looks like. Imagine getting it once a month. We can make the #FreedomDividend real for every American.

====
Yang might as well be a republican. Under my Freedom Payout plan you will receive $2500 every month, free healthcare, and college.

Posted by: Kamalatoe Harris at July 18, 2019 04:17 PM (pw+jk)

353 NGU, I think they used the new top-secret cryo weapon on the Iranian drone, the one that freezes the rubber bands, causing the drone to lose power and fall.

Posted by: rhomboid at July 18, 2019 04:17 PM (QDnY+)

354 I clearly remember a network news anchor tsk-tsking about NASA's endless delays for such trivial matters. It might have been Dan Rather."

We can confidently put 100% of the blame for the Challenger disaster of the media. They were the root cause.

Posted by: Chris M at July 18, 2019 04:17 PM (eAZVt)

355 resident Trump said Thursday that a U.S. warship had destroyed an Iranian drone in Strait of Hormuz amid heightened tensions between the two nations.
Posted by: SMOD at July 18, 2019 04:14 PM (QkjLD)

USS BOXER

Posted by: Nevergiveup at July 18, 2019 04:15 PM (yWXpx)

Barbara Boxer??

Posted by: JoeF. at July 18, 2019 04:17 PM (NFEMn)

356 339 So I'm the only one who thinks it's weird Tom Cruise is doing a Top Gun sequel?



Posted by: eleven at July 18, 2019 04:07 PM (tH5fk)

He could do a sequel to Edge of Tomorrow by just releasing it again.
Posted by: Can't resist temptation at July 18, 2019 04:16 PM (zFzxj)

=========

They're apparently going to do one.

The idea excites them, or something.

We'll see.

Posted by: TheJamesMadison, Destroyer of Worlds at July 18, 2019 04:17 PM (VyAV0)

357 They play the kippah on, kippah off game just like John Stewart loved to play Clown Nose on, Clown Nose off. It is a game, and they
will keep doing it until enough people laugh in their faces.

Posted by: John Morris at July 18, 2019 03:13 PM (sCRhB)

Yeah. If there's one constant about us Jews, it's ideological conformity.

Ya fucking rube.

Posted by: Al Crapton at July 18, 2019 04:17 PM (bMk7P)

358 Susan: Can you hammer a six inch spike through a board with your penis?

Chris Knight: Not yet...

Susan: A girl's gotta have her standards.

Posted by: RedMindBlueState at July 18, 2019 04:12 PM (ejd/p)


Great movie. Patti D'Arbanville was a major babe.

Posted by: ThePrimordialOrderedPair at July 18, 2019 04:17 PM (6fsOH)

359 yeah, you know, there is no good answer



her what are you laughing at



him nothing

was thinking of something funny

was remembering funny joke

something tickled me

your o face

your mom was licking my taint made me remember the way your sister did the same.



Posted by: yankeefifth at July 18, 2019 04:15 PM (HALdu)
I was just "in a really good mood".
And of course I made it worse when she asked why I was laughing by thinking she'd understand I was in a good mood so the words that came out of my mouth were..."If I can't laugh after that I'll never laugh again!"
oh.
shit.
I had the place to myself in the time it took her to get dressed.

Posted by: DamnedYankee at July 18, 2019 04:17 PM (37IEG)

360 Aren't they losing money mostly on movies nowadays?
Posted by: Sponge at July 18, 2019 04:15 PM (Zz0t1)

China is their safety net.

Posted by: Can't resist temptation at July 18, 2019 04:18 PM (zFzxj)

361 350 million Americans x $1,000 X 12 months = $4.2 trillion annually.

---

So only four times the Obama "stimulus" that we've repeatedly spent every year since it was passed?

Posted by: Moron Robbie - New AIDS cases in '99 = 40K/yr. New HIV cases each year since? Take a guess at July 18, 2019 04:18 PM (mJzdQ)

362


My guess is he has to deal with brash young pilots writing checks their bodies can't cash.


I hear his body is willing to take a deposit.

Posted by: Mr. Peebles at July 18, 2019 04:18 PM (oVJmc)

363 It looks expensively produced, which is about all you can get from a trailer at this point.

Maybe it'll deal with Maverick aging. Have an interesting theme that ties in with fighter pilots against drones.

Or, it'll just be an excuse for Tom Cruise to learn to fly a jet for real.

Could be fun.
========
Nope. It'll be super gay. Gayer than Driven.


Driven (review the filthy critic):

"Driven is very gay. It's a movie about sweaty gay men who are afraid to say "I love you," so instead walk around with their shirts off, scowling a lot and racing cars. It's as gay as Harvey Fierstein and gayer than hosting an Ally McBeal party.

It's about time that Hollywood made a gay mainstream movie. . ."

http://www.millbankusa.com/filthycritic/recent-shit/217-driven

Posted by: simplemind at July 18, 2019 04:18 PM (Pabj7)

364 Kevin Bacon in a remake of Tremors I would see.
Posted by: Puddin Head at July 18, 2019 04:16 PM (2LelM)


Wasn't he in the original Tremors?

Wouldn't that movie just be......Tremors?

Posted by: Sponge at July 18, 2019 04:18 PM (Zz0t1)

365 309
Looks unfunny like the last 15 years or so of Kevin Smith films.


Funny like a massive heart attack.

Posted by: Mr. Peebles at July 18, 2019 04:12 PM (oVJmc)

heheheheh.... did somebody say "angina"?

Posted by: Warai-otoko at July 18, 2019 04:18 PM (AURKQ)

366 Was this in the movie? It might have influenced the managers' thinking.
Posted by: rickl at July 18, 2019 04:14 PM (xjiRE)
---
There was tremendous political pressure to launch. My dad was shocked by it. He said, "They launched outside launch parameters. NASA wouldn't launch their cheapest weather balloon outside launch parameters, but they did it with the shuttle."

Posted by: Meade Lux Lewis at July 18, 2019 04:18 PM (hjaPQ)

367 Kevin Bacon in a remake of Tremors I would see.

Sounds more like a part for Michael J. Fox.

Posted by: Mr. Peebles at July 18, 2019 04:19 PM (oVJmc)

368 Yang no comprende efectos de inflacion.

Posted by: Guy Mohawk at July 18, 2019 04:19 PM (r+sAi)

369 Kevin Bacon in a remake of Tremors I would see.
Posted by: Puddin Head at July 18, 2019 04:16 PM (2LelM)

Wasn't he in the original Tremors?

Wouldn't that movie just be......Tremors?
Posted by: Sponge


Tremors 37.

Posted by: rickb223 at July 18, 2019 04:19 PM (ql3m8)

370 349 There are plenty of new ideas, but the movie going public seems to
have no interest in anything other than Marvel movies and Disney reboots
of 90s animated films (specifically 90s...the rest seem to just bomb).

Posted by: TheJamesMadison, Destroyer of Worlds at July 18, 2019 04:14 PM (VyAV0)

True. Though I think it's less that the movie-going public has no interest in anything new, and more the studios are too scared to risk money on anything but a "sure thing," despite the fact most of their "sure things" absolutely suck balls lately.
Posted by: MWR, The Public Intellectual (aka Beth) at July 18, 2019 04:17 PM (rP4OC)

===========

The mid budget movie is largely dead.

The big budget movie has to have some level of safeguard to get funding (that means tie to another existing property).

Small films do still get released, but Netflix and other streaming services are definitely barging in on that market with stuff like Roma. At least Amazon's movies go to theaters.

Posted by: TheJamesMadison, Destroyer of Worlds at July 18, 2019 04:19 PM (VyAV0)

371 I was just "in a really good mood".
And of course I made it worse when she asked why I was laughing by thinking she'd understand I was in a good mood so the words that came out of my mouth were..."If I can't laugh after that I'll never laugh again!"
oh.
shit.
I had the place to myself in the time it took her to get dressed.

Posted by: DamnedYankee at J




lol

Posted by: yankeefifth at July 18, 2019 04:19 PM (HALdu)

372
Tom Cruise in a jet.

Expensive looking.

Just as I expected.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qSqVVswa420
Posted by: TheJamesMadison, Destroyer of Worlds

======

And a shot of a woman in a cockpit. Just as I expected.

I hope she dies.

Posted by: Blonde Morticia at July 18, 2019 04:19 PM (M9ntN)

373 Kevin Bacon in a remake of Tremors I would see.

Sounds more like a part for Michael J. Fox.
Posted by: Mr. Peebles


ISWYDT

Posted by: rickb223 at July 18, 2019 04:19 PM (ql3m8)

374 364 Kevin Bacon in a remake of Tremors I would see.
Posted by: Puddin Head at July 18, 2019 04:16 PM (2LelM)

Wasn't he in the original Tremors?

Wouldn't that movie just be......Tremors?
-------------------
No. In remake Tremors he would be older than Tremors. The worms would be the same.

Posted by: Puddin Head at July 18, 2019 04:19 PM (2LelM)

375 They're apparently going to do one.

The idea excites them, or something.

We'll see.
Posted by: TheJamesMadison, Destroyer of Worlds at July 18, 2019 04:17 PM (VyAV0)

I was repurposing my Groundhog Day snark but no shit?

Posted by: Can't resist temptation at July 18, 2019 04:20 PM (zFzxj)

376 In the spirit of the thread:

Kevin Bacon in a remake of Tremors I would see

--

Michael J. Fox

Posted by: Moron Robbie - New AIDS cases in '99 = 40K/yr. New HIV cases each year since? Take a guess at July 18, 2019 04:20 PM (mJzdQ)

377 The only actor needed for a new Tremors is Michael Gross.

Posted by: Roy at July 18, 2019 04:20 PM (cspJy)

378 Feynman wrote the definitive report (and book) about the Challenger disaster.

Posted by: ThePrimordialOrderedPair at July 18, 2019 04:20 PM (6fsOH)

379
My guess is he has to deal with brash young pilots writing checks their bodies can't cash.

-----

Gooses son is a fighter pilot now.

Posted by: fixerupper at July 18, 2019 04:20 PM (8XRCm)

380 Day late, dollar short.

Posted by: Moron Robbie - New AIDS cases in '99 = 40K/yr. New HIV cases each year since? Take a guess at July 18, 2019 04:20 PM (mJzdQ)

381 > 350 million Americans x $1,000 X 12 months = $4.2 trillion annually.



> Freedom has one hell of a dividend.

Doesn't work that way. I'm not saying it isn't a cockamamie idea, mind you, but the scheme relies on raising taxes enough that it becomes revenue neutral.

Make little enough that you don't pay any taxes? You keep the whole $12k. Make a little more? Some of it goes back to the government as taxes. Make a fuckton of money? You're taxed the full $12k, plus still more to cover the money paid out to the people who don't pay any taxes on their $12K.
If, and only if, this replaced a bunch of other social programs, it could be pretty close to a wash, or maybe even cost less. But I doubt that's how it would wind up.

Posted by: Rodrigo Borgia at July 18, 2019 04:20 PM (GDooN)

382 Great movie. Patti D'Arbanville was a major babe.
Posted by: ThePrimordialOrderedPair at July 18, 2019 04:17 PM


Chris Knight: Isn't he dead?

Sherri Nugil: He is now....

Posted by: RedMindBlueState at July 18, 2019 04:20 PM (ejd/p)

383 I'm imagining a Top Gun sequel with Tom Cruise will be gayer then a bag of dicks.

They should make a USAF version based on Red Flag and Nellis. I'll give them some content. I bet Anna Puma could too...

Posted by: Marcus T at July 18, 2019 04:20 PM (VpIIl)

384 Get poke go stroke.


Posted by: JuJuBee, just generally being shamey at July 18, 2019 04:09 PM (COzlW)

===
A good poke will do that.


Posted by: Jukin the Deplorable and Profoundly Unserious at July 18, 2019

*
*
. . .
You know, I've heard that. Woodrow, there, now, he'd be afraid of killin' the girl.

Posted by: Gus McRae, Texas Ranger at July 18, 2019 04:20 PM (ClOmq)

385
And a shot of a woman in a cockpit. Just as I expected.



I hope she dies.

Posted by: Blonde Morticia at July 18, 2019 04:19 PM (M9ntN)

*facepalm*
I wasn't going to see it anyway, but yeah, definitely won't see it now.

Posted by: MWR, The Public Intellectual (aka Beth) at July 18, 2019 04:20 PM (rP4OC)

386 Gooses son is a fighter pilot now.
Posted by: fixerupper at July 18, 2019 04:20 PM (8XRCm)

Played by Ryan Gosling?

Posted by: Warai-otoko at July 18, 2019 04:20 PM (AURKQ)

387 "Yes, Thiokol engineers did everything short of murder to try to prevent the launch."

The movie has to reconstruct most of the dialog of the various meetings, since it wasn't recorded or logged. They change everybody's name, and refer to Thiokol only as "The Company." Yeah, get the DVD from the library. Then go read the Challenger investigation documents, if you haven't already.

Mgmt and NASA blame the engineer: "It's your fault. You had the right facts, but you told them to us in an inappropriate tone of voice, so of course we did not listen to you."

In my career I had to butt heads with a lot of stupid managers, vendors and customers. Retired now, I have frequent dreams of running from office to office, cubicle to cubicle, imploring people to please listen to what I am telling them and do what I tell them to do, so we can finally fix the stupid obvious problem staring us in the face. That's the movie, in a nutshell.

Posted by: gp, Self-Censoring Racist at July 18, 2019 04:21 PM (mk9aG)

388
The perfect crime?


Subarachnoid berry aneurysms aren't all that uncommon.

Basically, it's like being born with a time bomb in your head.

So--o-o-o-o, maybe not exactly orgasm induced.

Treatment these days must have really improved.

That used to pretty much be a guaranteed death.

Posted by: naturalfake at July 18, 2019 04:21 PM (5ANJM)

389 375 They're apparently going to do one.

The idea excites them, or something.

We'll see.
Posted by: TheJamesMadison, Destroyer of Worlds at July 18, 2019 04:17 PM (VyAV0)

I was repurposing my Groundhog Day snark but no shit?
Posted by: Can't resist temptation at July 18, 2019 04:20 PM (zFzxj)

==========

Yeah.

https://tinyurl.com/y6j9hgqs

Posted by: TheJamesMadison, Destroyer of Worlds at July 18, 2019 04:21 PM (VyAV0)

390 376 Michael J. Fox
Posted by: Moron Robbie - New AIDS cases in '99 = 40K/yr. New HIV cases each year since? Take a guess at July 18, 2019 04:20 PM (mJzdQ)

What's Shakin'?

(A : "ME!")

Posted by: Hikaru at July 18, 2019 04:21 PM (UnA8+)

391 386
Gooses son is a fighter pilot now.

Posted by: fixerupper at July 18, 2019 04:20 PM (8XRCm)



Played by Ryan Gosling?

Posted by: Warai-otoko at July 18, 2019 04:20 PM (AURKQ)

Ba-dum-bum-tss!

Posted by: MWR, The Public Intellectual (aka Beth) at July 18, 2019 04:21 PM (rP4OC)

392 > Sounds more like a part for Michael J. Fox.

Cameo appearance by Angela Merkel.
I denounce myself for that one.

Posted by: Rodrigo Borgia at July 18, 2019 04:21 PM (GDooN)

393 Absolutely pouring and I need to go to the grocery store

Posted by: Skip at July 18, 2019 04:22 PM (BbGew)

394 386 Gooses son is a fighter pilot now.
Posted by: fixerupper at July 18, 2019 04:20 PM (8XRCm)

Played by Ryan Gosling?
Posted by: Warai-otoko at July 18, 2019 04:20 PM (AURKQ)


That right there is why I keep coming to this place.

Posted by: blaster at July 18, 2019 04:22 PM (9VeU0)

395 I'd like to see them combine both the Tremors and Sharknado franchises into one which includes a Godzilla cameo.

Posted by: Roy at July 18, 2019 04:22 PM (cspJy)

396 Gooses son is a fighter pilot now.

--

His handle is McCain.

Posted by: Moron Robbie - New AIDS cases in '99 = 40K/yr. New HIV cases each year since? Take a guess at July 18, 2019 04:22 PM (mJzdQ)

397 nood

Posted by: TheJamesMadison, Destroyer of Worlds at July 18, 2019 04:23 PM (VyAV0)

398 In remake Tremors Hillary is gobbled up by a worm while clutching a bollard. No one mourns the loss.

Posted by: Puddin Head at July 18, 2019 04:23 PM (2LelM)

399 I'd like to see them combine both the Tremors and Sharknado franchises into one which includes a Godzilla cameo.
Posted by: Roy


Godzilla fights the Dune Worms.

Posted by: rickb223 at July 18, 2019 04:23 PM (ql3m8)

400 I don't get it.

Posted by: Meade Lux Lewis at July 18, 2019 04:04 PM (hjaPQ)
------

I don't either.

Posted by: Seems Legit at July 18, 2019 04:11 PM (jUVms)
..........

Where is BEN anyway?

Posted by: wth at July 18, 2019 04:23 PM (v0R5T)

401 Driven (review the filthy critic):

"Driven is very gay. It's a movie about sweaty gay men who are afraid to say "I love you," so instead walk around with their shirts off, scowling a lot and racing cars. It's as gay as Harvey Fierstein and gayer than hosting an Ally McBeal party.

It's about time that Hollywood made a gay mainstream movie. . ."

http://www.millbankusa.com/filthycritic/recent-shit/217-driven

Posted by: simplemind at July 18, 2019 04:18 PM (Pabj7)


That's ridiculous and stupid. Driven was fine and there was nothing gay about it.

WTFFF is with this idiotic shit?

Posted by: ThePrimordialOrderedPair at July 18, 2019 04:24 PM (6fsOH)

402 Gooses son is a fighter pilot now.

---------------
Gander

Posted by: G at July 18, 2019 04:24 PM (5NMZN)

403 They play the kippah on, kippah off game just like John Stewart loved to play Clown Nose on, Clown Nose off. It is a game, and they
will keep doing it until enough people laugh in their faces.

Posted by: John Morris
=======
I think this is a Soros op thing. These types of posters showing up around the net at various sites in the last three or four days trolling.

Its always sort of weirdly concerned about something relating to the jews and how UNFAIR it is and always disconnected from topic/conversation. Its almost like its an AI routine its so dumb.

Posted by: simplemind at July 18, 2019 04:24 PM (Cejn6)

404 > Looks unfunny like the last 15 years or so of Kevin Smith films.


Smith needs to just take $50K, hire a bunch of randos from New Jersey, and go make another movie with no studio involvement whatsoever.

Put that shit on Amazon and/or iTunes.


Posted by: Rodrigo Borgia at July 18, 2019 04:25 PM (GDooN)

405 The trick is to use a counter-clockwise swirl at the end.

Posted by: George Costanza at July 18, 2019 04:25 PM (7A4qQ)

406 it's like pizza, for guys.

Even when it's not that good...it's still pretty good.
Posted by: Mark Andrew Edwards, Angry, Radical, Anti-Liberal, and Dangerous Lion: buy ammo at July 18, 2019 03:41 PM (bcbK


Hey, baby. You want some of this?

Posted by: Hillary at July 18, 2019 04:25 PM (Fs5vw)

407 Gooses son is a fighter pilot now.

Posted by: fixerupper at July 18, 2019 04:20 PM (8XRCm)



Played by Ryan Gosling?

Posted by: Warai-otoko at July 18, 2019 04:20 PM (AURKQ)
Ba-dum-bum-tss!
Posted by: MWR, The Public Intellectual (aka Beth) at July 18, 2019 04:21 PM (rP4OC)

--------

You shake my nerves and you rattle my brain!!!
Too much love drives a woman insane!!!!



The thread circle is NOW completed.

Posted by: fixerupper at July 18, 2019 04:26 PM (8XRCm)

408 "Pewdiepie has been playing Minecraft for the last few weeks, so I'm completely ignorant of current memes."

All the YouTubers have been the last few weeks. Honestly, it would be hilarious if Direwolf20 started a non-Minecraft series right now.

I think part of the motivation is there are fewer things that trips YouTube's demonetization.

Posted by: Rob Crawford at July 18, 2019 04:26 PM (cApiC)

409 I think he is commander of Top Gun school.

My guess is he has to deal with brash young pilots writing checks their bodies can't cash.

And banging hot astrophysicists.
_______________

On the weekends he bakes banana bread and takes it to his former GF, who is now a fat lesbian living with a bunch of cats.

Posted by: TrivialPursuer at July 18, 2019 04:29 PM (k4dH2)

410 "Was this in the movie? It might have influenced the managers' thinking."

Yes, there were a series of launch delays and some management and engineers were embarrassed by that.

IMHO, the Space Shuttle had flawed requirements from the start, and the engineers did the best they could to meet them. The requirement for re-usable SRBs led them to come up with the jointed assembly, which required reliable seals at every joint. They already knew the seals were being eroded and blown-by on prior missions, but they had to keep flying the thing anyway, or throw out the requirements and re-design, which would take years, which of course was never going to happen.

The engineers thought it was OK to burn up the inner ring, as long as the outer ring held. That seems pretty rickety to me, and I probably would have refused an engineering job working on it in the first place.

Posted by: gp, Self-Censoring Racist at July 18, 2019 04:30 PM (mk9aG)

411 Anybody who ever said 'Anything is possible' never tried to nail Jello to a tree."
(I forget who said it, maybe Buffy the Vampire Slayer)
Posted by: Wolfus Aurelius at July 18, 2019 04:07 PM (ClOmq)

Freeze it first, seems simple enough

Posted by: Oldcat at July 18, 2019 04:49 PM (FTPn0)

412 "The woman was identified as "Not Jonah Goldberg's Wife."" is the funniest shit I've read on the internet ever and I've been on the internet since you had to plug it in.

Posted by: Chan at July 18, 2019 07:38 PM (x8Ehw)

413 It could have been Jonah's wife, but that sure weren't Jonah going lickity-slit.

OTOH, I want to change my answer to the question, "What superpower do you wish you had?"

Posted by: Jaqen H'ghar at July 18, 2019 11:04 PM (5fSr7)

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