Hospitalized Hero Cop Gets Visit From K9 Friend;<br>Plus: Childhood Memories and Nostalgia Open Thread

Hospitalized Hero Cop Gets Visit From K9 Friend;
Plus: Childhood Memories and Nostalgia Open Thread

By the way, this is the sort of post I put up at the close of business, but because nurse ratchet keeps asking for a fun thread, I'll put this up earlier than usual.

Don't worry, I'll put up more real posts after this.*

Dogs are best people.

One of the Auburn police officers wounded in a Sunday-night shooting that claimed the life of a fellow officer was visited in the hospital Wednesday by his K9 partner Leon.
Officer Webb Sistrunk remains hospitalized at Piedmont Columbus Regional Medical Center, three days after he took a bullet to the right shoulder. Police officials said Sistrunk’s health is improving and he had been upgraded from the Intensive Care Unit to critical care.

Video of the visit below, plus a couple of my own childhood memories.

So, for childhood memories and nostalgia, I'll start:

I think I've mentioned this before, but I had a fantastic idea when I was little. I found this old shitty piece of rope about 20' long and thought that if I tied a noose around my belly and threw the other side over the big limb of the neighbor's tree, I could pull myself up the rope, pulling down one side so that other side of the rope would pull me up by the belly, like an elevator.

So to give myself a leg up, I got up into the crook of the tree's two trunks, about five feet off the ground, cinched the rope around my waist, and threw the other side of the rope over the big limb projecting over the ground.

And jumped.

So: a few problems with this plan. If it were to have any chance of working, I would have needed to hook a pulley wheel up to the limb. Instead, I had rough, old rope rubbing against the rough bark of an old tree. The force of friction was high. There was no chance that I could pull the rope down over that branch, not with 80 or whatever pounds weighing it down.

Also, I was way too weak to even have a shot, pulley or no pulley.

But that would just be a failure. I could have just failed to maintain a hold on the rope and fallen five feet to the ground.

But it was worse than that, because the rope actually snagged on the stump of a secondary branch and locked on to the limb. And the noose-like loop of rope around my waist did what noose-like loops hanging from trees are supposed to do: It started throttling me. It cut into my diaphragm and restricted my breathing to a shallow rasping.

And I just dangled five feet off the ground, held by a noose around my waist, spinning around slowly like a fly webbed up by a spider, unable to pull my way up the rope and also unable to get any slack in the noose and let myself fall through it to the ground.

So I just hanged there for about half an hour, calling out for help with the reduced amount of breath I had.

Eventually the neighbor heard and charged out with a knife, cutting the rope and freeing me.

I immediately began turning red, not from embarrassment, but from oxygen getting back into my skin.

And then the neighbor made a great show of cutting the rope up with the knife like he was chopping up a venomous snake. I don't know if that was meant to be a teachable moment for me or he just really hated rope.

So I had another really stupid moment like that one winter when a heavy snow had fallen and then strong winds had blown the snow up into tall banks, maybe five feet high.

There was this nice big snowbank, about eight feet long at the base, and maybe almost six feet tall at the peak. I had another fantastic idea that I would just burrow through one side of the bank, down near the bottom, out through the other side.

I wasn't completely stupid so I did partly dig out the other side, where I expected to exit from.

Then I got to digging on the entry side, and began to worm my way through the hole.

Well, so: If you dig a hole that is barely larger than your personal circumference, you actually have no ability to move your legs or arms, and you just get completely trapped. In snow. In a six foot tall, eight-foot wide snowbank.

As I was an intelligent boy, I figured this out. Unfortunately, I figured this out when I was pretty much exactly halfway through the hole. My giant brain then figured out, "Ah, a hole must be large enough to allow free movement of legs and arms, and tall enough to allow all-fours movement...!"

But of course I had time to think about all that as I was now hopelessly stuck in the hole, my arms pinned to my side, and my legs only able to kick at the lower extremity, doing nothing at all.

Oh, and the ice was melting around me and dripping on me as thirty-three degree water.

So I was stuck there for another half hour, again crying helplessly and pathetically like a Cuck at The Bulwark asking his Stallion to please stop making sex with his wife so hard.

I yelled as loud as I could for help. But there was no one around to help, because these snow-drifts were actually on the beach, and no one was on the beach, because it was winter after a snowstorm.

I don't know how, but somehow my mom heard me from blocks away and came out to pull me out of the snow.

Hey, did I ever mention I was never good at sports?

Anyway, for the nostalgia part, here are some songs I thought were totally awesome when I was little:

I'm not proud of that, but I'm not really apologizing either.

Did I mention I'm kind of a huge nerd?

I really only ever learned what the cool things were when bigger boys explained it to me with punches and headlocks.

* In between serious spring cleaning -- excavating, really -- I've been banging out a sick number of posts so that I can take tomorrow and Monday off but still have posts to put up.

One thing about fasting: It really does up your energy after it gets going. My energy level is nearly manic.

Posted by: Ace of Spades at 05:10 PM

Comments

(Jump to bottom of comments)

1 1

Posted by: Gref at May 23, 2019 05:11 PM (AMIL/)

2 BNL NEWS @BreakingNLive
BREAKING NEWS: U.S. charges WikiLeaks founder Assange for publishing classified information. First such charge in U.S. history

Posted by: Deep State is In DEEP SHIT at May 23, 2019 05:11 PM (BqBId)

3 Doggy thread is always welcome

Posted by: Mark Andrew Edwards, Angry, Radical, Anti-Liberal, and Dangerous: buy ammo at May 23, 2019 05:13 PM (bcbK8)

4 Cool story.

Posted by: Someguy at May 23, 2019 05:13 PM (xYwhN)

5 So the shelves weren't a one off event

Posted by: Joe, no that other one at May 23, 2019 05:14 PM (7pOq5)

6
Camden County, off of Rte. 54.... got all that, NSA Bob??
Posted by: kraken at May 23, 2019 05:13 PM (nNM7d)

------

Tell me sumpin I dont ALREADY know.

Posted by: Bob from the NSA at May 23, 2019 05:15 PM (8XRCm)

7 That is quite an achomlishment.

Posted by: Fuvkstick McGriddle at May 23, 2019 05:15 PM (WJAwg)

8 Dany burning Kings Landing set to Metallica For Whom the Bell Tolls.

https://preview.tinyurl.com/y52td3z3

Posted by: WR at May 23, 2019 05:15 PM (O9JR8)

9 2 BNL NEWS @BreakingNLive
BREAKING NEWS: U.S. charges WikiLeaks founder Assange for publishing classified information. First such charge in U.S. history

So, when may we expect Hillary's arrest?

Posted by: It's me donna at May 23, 2019 05:15 PM (O2RFr)

10 And glad you're feeling good, Ace.

Hmm...stories...let's see...

Posted by: Mark Andrew Edwards, Angry, Radical, Anti-Liberal, and Dangerous: buy ammo at May 23, 2019 05:16 PM (bcbK8)

11 I dont know whether to be awed or horrified.

Posted by: WR at May 23, 2019 05:16 PM (O9JR8)

12 Ace, Why do I get the feeling that your mother and dad-although you didn't mention him-spent a whole lot of time rolling their eyes at you and saying under their breath "There Ace goes again"

Glad you survived.

Posted by: FenelonSpoke at May 23, 2019 05:16 PM (ahS0B)

13 Woof. Woof! Woof....Woof, Woof!

Posted by: Hillary at May 23, 2019 05:16 PM (KQ/Al)

14 As I was an intelligent boy

-----

Ummmmmm..... okay.

Posted by: Bob from the NSA at May 23, 2019 05:16 PM (8XRCm)

15 I prefer dogs to most people... present company excepted

Posted by: It's me donna at May 23, 2019 05:17 PM (O2RFr)

16 2 BNL NEWS @BreakingNLive
BREAKING NEWS: U.S. charges WikiLeaks founder Assange for publishing classified information. First such charge in U.S. history
Posted by: Deep State is In DEEP SHIT at May 23, 2019 05:11 PM (BqBId)
----------------

Brennan, Comey, & McCabe: "Wait, what?!"

Posted by: WisRich at May 23, 2019 05:17 PM (G0vdT)

17 16 2 BNL NEWS @BreakingNLive
BREAKING NEWS: U.S. charges WikiLeaks founder Assange for publishing classified information. First such charge in U.S. history
Posted by: Deep State is In DEEP SHIT at May 23, 2019 05:11 PM (BqBId)

And Schiff... How about leaking classified information?
----------------

Posted by: It's me donna at May 23, 2019 05:18 PM (O2RFr)

18 250 Dany burning Kings Landing set to Metallica For Whom the Bell Tolls.

https://preview.tinyurl.com/y52td3z3
Posted by: WR at May 23, 2019 05:11 PM (O9JR

strange how the right music makes conflagration feel glorious

Posted by: vmom superior, order of sweet merciless ninjas at May 23, 2019 05:18 PM (dm05u)

19 We adopted our English Cocker Spaniel four years ago today. (She's about eight now.)

She's a neurotic idiot, but we love her dearly.

Posted by: Zombie Robbo the Llama-Butcher at May 23, 2019 05:18 PM (WI9RL)

20 Funkytown always reminds me of this bit of arcade nostalgia:

https://youtu.be/YVnCNVnz690?t=316

Posted by: Cave Johnson at May 23, 2019 05:19 PM (96G06)

21 Geez, ace, you must be a cat with all those lives. Don't use up your last few on these long-term fasts.

And where did you grow up, if you don't mind saying? Sounds like a nice place with a lot of weather and nature.

Posted by: bluebell at May 23, 2019 05:19 PM (aXucN)

22 So, for childhood memories and nostalgia, I'll start:

Bob's Big Boy or Shoney's Pizza with the player piano in it, then to the drive in for a movie.

Posted by: rickb223 at May 23, 2019 05:19 PM (rGtm/)

23 One thing about fasting: It really does up your energy after it gets going. My energy level is nearly manic.

.....................

Maybe you can help out a cuck or two over at the cuckshed!

Posted by: Chi-Town Jerry at May 23, 2019 05:19 PM (so+oy)

24 what I got from ace's snow tunnel story is that his mom has super hearing

Posted by: vmom superior, order of sweet merciless ninjas at May 23, 2019 05:20 PM (dm05u)

25 I dove into some soft snow once, thinking I could swim in it. And yes, you kind of can but the problem is... you're blind. And the snow sort of suspends you in zero gravity so there's no real sense of what is up or down or where exactly you are. And guess what: you can drown in snow, because its WATER and if there's no air to breathe...

That sucked.

Posted by: Christopher R Taylor at May 23, 2019 05:20 PM (39g3+)

26 Growing up in Northern Iowa in the 70's/80's was a lot like growing up in the 50's/60's elsewhere in the world.

We got everything later than the rest of the country, I swear. We had 'Little Black Sambo' pancake restaurants when I was growing up, nobody locked their doors. Like, nobody. I walked into random neighbor's houses more than once.

But one of my favorite memories comes to mind with your snow tunnel story, Ace.

We had a wicked snow season in Northern Iowa. Big drifts, huge piles of plowed snow heaped up everywhere. So I started digging a snow fort. Not a normal little hobbit hole, either. I made multiple rooms, with connecting passageways. These spanned two adjoining property lines. And it was weirdly and comfortably warm inside these tunnels and chambers. In later years, we made eskimo igloos for Cub Scouts and damned if they weren't livable.

Best Winter ever, I still remember that tunnel complex...

Posted by: Mark Andrew Edwards, Angry, Radical, Anti-Liberal, and Dangerous: buy ammo at May 23, 2019 05:20 PM (bcbK8)

27 My twenty-something metal guitarist son loves Funkytown. Loves it.

Posted by: bluebell at May 23, 2019 05:20 PM (aXucN)

28 How does a 29 year old remember those songs?

Posted by: Quidam at May 23, 2019 05:20 PM (EWtSD)

29 Ace is creating a fantasy of happy childhood events to suppress his Kaboom! memories. Yes, those are the good memories when you were raised on Kaboom!

Posted by: andycanuck at May 23, 2019 05:20 PM (Dh1wo)

30 Building snow forts was lots of fun. One year we found a big drift in the corner of a six-foot high chain link fence that was packed hard enough for us to dig a two-level fort with multiple rooms, and lots of firing ports.

Posted by: Gref at May 23, 2019 05:20 PM (AMIL/)

31 Belgian malinois I believe.

Posted by: Xipe Totec at May 23, 2019 05:20 PM (hgso/)

32 Childhood memories...before we get into that, does anyone have a list of Statue of Limitations handy?

Posted by: Diogenes at May 23, 2019 05:20 PM (0tfLf)

33 Reading Ace's personal anecdotes is unsettlingly similar to looking into a mirror.

(looks around, slightly panicked, for something vaguely athletic to do)

Posted by: filbert at May 23, 2019 05:20 PM (Lz9fr)

34 My doggie would love to visit me if hospitalized with an injury. She would probably leap on the injury in her eagerness to tell me how much she loves me.

Posted by: Northernlurker at May 23, 2019 05:21 PM (JgA4k)

35 but because nurse ratchet keeps asking for a fun thread

I thought she wanted to talk about sex.

Posted by: Jewells45 at May 23, 2019 05:21 PM (dUJdY)

36 Oh, my acts of outrageous stupidity frequently involved snow. Like the time I thought I could catapult off a sled by going down a hill and then striking a tree with a glancing blow. Long story short: No, you can't. But it was the first time I ever got the breathe knocked out of me, so at least I can tick that off my list.

Posted by: joncelli, because somebody had to at May 23, 2019 05:21 PM (RD7QR)

37 And dogs make life better. They really, really do.

There are downsides, I won't lie, but the upsides are so good.

Posted by: Mark Andrew Edwards, Angry, Radical, Anti-Liberal, and Dangerous: buy ammo at May 23, 2019 05:21 PM (bcbK8)

38 How does a 29 year old remember those songs?
Posted by: Quidam at May 23, 2019 05:20 PM (EWtSD)

His parents had the classic rock station playing 24/7.

That would explain a LOT.

Posted by: filbert at May 23, 2019 05:21 PM (Lz9fr)

39 35 but because nurse ratchet keeps asking for a fun thread

I thought she wanted to talk about sex.
Posted by: Jewells45 at May 23, 2019 05:21 PM (dUJdY)

Sex is fun

Posted by: Mark Andrew Edwards, Angry, Radical, Anti-Liberal, and Dangerous: buy ammo at May 23, 2019 05:21 PM (bcbK8)

40 24 what I got from ace's snow tunnel story is that his mom has super hearing
Posted by: vmom superior, order of sweet merciless ninjas at May 23, 2019 05:20 PM (dm05u)
------
And that Ace is really bad at trying to kill himself.

Posted by: Weasel at May 23, 2019 05:21 PM (MVjcR)

41 MM was hot

Posted by: Quilter's Irish Death at May 23, 2019 05:22 PM (5l6gb)

42 I will no longer connect the dots for you people, Assange being arrested & May Resigning is all part of bigger plan

Posted by: Deep State is In DEEP SHIT at May 23, 2019 05:22 PM (BqBId)

43 YIKES, ace!! That first one is frightening.

Reminds me of the time I was 5 and my brother was 3, and we were so excited to get to a hotel in Aspen with an outdoor pool that we decided to jump in while the rest of the family were unpacking the car.

Yeah, except. . . neither of us knew how to swim. And we jumped into the deep end. Womp womp! Fortunately mom heard us splashing and flailing.

Posted by: Lizzy at May 23, 2019 05:22 PM (W+vEI)

44 lucky to be alive, kid.

Posted by: literally serious at May 23, 2019 05:22 PM (KQ/Al)

45 >>>28 How does a 29 year old remember those songs?

time machine.

Posted by: ace at May 23, 2019 05:22 PM (PbpT7)

46 I admire your ability to practically kill yourself, Ace.

Generally it takes at least a couple of males working together for a serious attempt at death or injury.

Posted by: Lily, formerly of Hot Air now of AoSHQ, Assassin in the Night, not an NPC at May 23, 2019 05:22 PM (KwDrg)

47 22
So, for childhood memories and nostalgia, I'll start:

Bob's Big Boy or Shoney's Pizza with the player piano in it, then to the drive in for a movie.

Posted by: rickb223 at May 23, 2019 05:19 PM (rGtm/)

------------
We had Shakey's Pizza and Ferrell's Ice Cream parlor.
Very relieved that you made it to 29, Ace, despite your youthful misadventures.

Posted by: Hoplite Housewife at May 23, 2019 05:22 PM (XXNQ+)

48
I was in my 20's for those childhood memories.

Posted by: Flawless Male Logic at May 23, 2019 05:22 PM (TAmPV)

49 We had 'Little Black Sambo' pancake restaurants when I was growing up

----

Had them in SoCal too in the 70s. I believe there was one in Buena Park, because I remember my grandparents taking me there for breakfast before we went to Knott's Berry Farm.

Posted by: Cave Johnson at May 23, 2019 05:23 PM (96G06)

50 42 I will no longer connect the dots for you people, Assange being arrested & May Resigning is all part of bigger plan
Posted by: Deep State is In DEEP SHIT at May 23, 2019 05:22 PM (BqBId)

Aw, come on...please?

This is the FUN thread.

Posted by: Mark Andrew Edwards, Angry, Radical, Anti-Liberal, and Dangerous: buy ammo at May 23, 2019 05:23 PM (bcbK8)

51 I'd discuss my childhood, but I'm unclear on the statute of limitations regarding certain things, so yknow, mum's the word.

Posted by: Broseidon - New Work Computer, Same Work Ethic at May 23, 2019 05:23 PM (oZ6kz)

52 >>>Oh, my acts of outrageous stupidity frequently involved snow. Like the time I thought I could catapult off a sled by going down a hill and then striking a tree with a glancing blow. Long story short: No, you can't.

man, even I wasn't that dumb.

Posted by: ace at May 23, 2019 05:23 PM (PbpT7)

53 Hoplite Housewife, I loved Farrell's too. Did you grow up here? There was one at Tyson's.

Posted by: bluebell at May 23, 2019 05:24 PM (aXucN)

54 I mostly remember lots of screaming and berating and shaming and hitting and crying. And classmates, teachers and administrators being nasty, stupid shits.

Childhood was, well, not.

Posted by: Insomniac at May 23, 2019 05:24 PM (NWiLs)

55 Hmm. K-9's are not always so friendly around strangers.

Posted by: Mike Hammer, etc., etc. at May 23, 2019 05:24 PM (CDGwz)

56 Builder toys, what is best?
Lincoln logs
Erector set
Tinker toys
Lego

Posted by: Brave Sir Robin at May 23, 2019 05:24 PM (kYeLp)

57 Ace, Why do I get the feeling that your mother and dad-although you didn't mention him-spent a whole lot of time rolling their eyes at you and saying under their breath "There Ace goes again"

Glad you survived.
Posted by: FenelonSpoke at May 23, 2019 05:16 PM (ahS0B)

It's basically a miracle that any male child lives long enough to procreate . . . or even long enough to be able to procreate.

Posted by: filbert at May 23, 2019 05:24 PM (Lz9fr)

58 I was about 10 years old, the catcher in a Little League game. The innings lasted forever, as may pitchers could not throw a strike to save their life. I really had to pee, so in order to not interrupt the game, I reasoned that my athletic cup would hold in the pee.
Not so much.
The umpire started dancing around like there were snakes at his feet, the manager ran on and dragged me off the field. I kept my catcher's mask on in the hopes that no one would know it was me.
They knew. They all knew.

Posted by: motionview at May 23, 2019 05:24 PM (pYQR/)

59 49 We had 'Little Black Sambo' pancake restaurants when I was growing up

----

Had them in SoCal too in the 70s. I believe there was one in Buena Park, because I remember my grandparents taking me there for breakfast before we went to Knott's Berry Farm.
Posted by: Cave Johnson at May 23, 2019 05:23 PM (96G06)

Props for the Portal 2 name.

I THINK there's still one around. Probably in Oregon

But it was a big chain once upon a time. I think IHOP bought them out or something.

Posted by: Mark Andrew Edwards, Angry, Radical, Anti-Liberal, and Dangerous: buy ammo at May 23, 2019 05:24 PM (bcbK8)

60 As a kid I often fell, usually on my butt, one time I was running on the paved school courtyard, ran right into rope that separated the parking area which was neck level to me, ended up flat on my back seeing stars.

Posted by: vmom superior, order of sweet merciless ninjas at May 23, 2019 05:24 PM (dm05u)

61 Thanks for the K9 video. I work with these dogs and it is good to show people that they are by and large sociable and love life. Their training involves working at increasing intensities of play. They're athletes who love what they do.

Posted by: Dan Smoot's Apprentice at May 23, 2019 05:25 PM (H8QX8)

62 I don't have very many stories involving threat to life and limb because I was always really careful and gamed out "how could this go wrong" in my head. Kind of a boring life, but fewer broken bones and close calls.

Posted by: Christopher R Taylor at May 23, 2019 05:25 PM (39g3+)

63 >>>58 I was about 10 years old, the catcher in a Little League game. The innings lasted forever, as may pitchers could not throw a strike to save their life. I really had to pee, so in order to not interrupt the game, I reasoned that my athletic cup would hold in the pee.
Not so much.

LOL

Posted by: ace at May 23, 2019 05:25 PM (PbpT7)

64 >>>As I was an intelligent boy, I figured this out. Unfortunately, I figured this out when I was pretty much exactly halfway through the hole.

lol...you take the cake for being funny, ace.

Posted by: trapper's girl at May 23, 2019 05:25 PM (DGS6j)

65 With those videos you missed

Laura Brannigan: Gloria -

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=355Fk8drgZE

Posted by: ThePrimordialOrderedPair at May 23, 2019 05:25 PM (ennNc)

66 Posted by: Mark Andrew Edwards, Angry, Radical, Anti-Liberal, and Dangerous: buy ammo at May 23, 2019 05:23 PM (bcbK

*******
Wait till JackStraw gets here, Until then do some research on Assange & what he did

Posted by: Deep State is In DEEP SHIT at May 23, 2019 05:25 PM (BqBId)

67 Well I do remember saving the world from an evil scientist who wanted to turn all the animals into robots. That was a good time.

Posted by: Broseidon - New Work Computer, Same Work Ethic at May 23, 2019 05:25 PM (oZ6kz)

68 And where did you grow up, if you don't mind saying? Sounds like a nice place with a lot of weather and nature.

Posted by: bluebell at May 23, 2019 05:19 PM (aXucN)

Endor.

Posted by: CharlieBrown'sDildo at May 23, 2019 05:25 PM (wYseH)

69 52 >>>Oh, my acts of outrageous stupidity frequently involved snow. Like the time I thought I could catapult off a sled by going down a hill and then striking a tree with a glancing blow. Long story short: No, you can't.

man, even I wasn't that dumb.
Posted by: ace at May 23, 2019 05:23 PM (PbpT7)

Right. And that's why I'm the moron I am today.

Posted by: joncelli, because somebody had to at May 23, 2019 05:25 PM (RD7QR)

70 Kraken, is that by the Lake?
I have a close friend who lives in Montreal MO.

Posted by: Brave Sir Robin at May 23, 2019 05:25 PM (kYeLp)

71 One time when I was about 10, we were staying with some family friends at the lake and they had 3 cute daughters. When I woke up one day, I saw that my underwear had noticeable skidmarks and I didn't want the girls to know. SO I stuffed them in my shortts and we left for a boat tour.

While both families were enjoying a leisurely cruise, my mother looked over and said, "What's this falling out your pant leg?" and gave the errant u-trou a tug. Out they fall, brown streak and everything. I quickly snatched them up before the girls got a good look, but my parents wouldn't let it go.

So I told them I was afraid the boat would sink and the underwear would add some bouyancy. Don't judge me--10-year-olds don't think well on the fly and wtf was I supposed to have thought of?

They ribbed me about this for decades and I only recently told the truth, and I am glad I came clean because my parents would have taken the wrong shame to the grave. This way, they took the accurate shame and my conscience is clear!

Posted by: spongeworthy at May 23, 2019 05:26 PM (35Slc)

72 *looks at missing finger tip*

Yeah, remember reel mowers?

Don't flip one on its back, spin the wheel to get the blade reel going, and try to use it as a small wood chipper.

Posted by: Bert G at May 23, 2019 05:26 PM (OMsf+)

73 The idea of being stuck in a snow tunnel, unable to go forward or back, and knowing it could collapse, buried till spring (shudder)

Posted by: A dude in MI at May 23, 2019 05:26 PM (OOH1c)

74 68 And where did you grow up, if you don't mind saying? Sounds like a nice place with a lot of weather and nature.

Posted by: bluebell at May 23, 2019 05:19 PM (aXucN)

Endor.
Posted by: CharlieBrown'sDildo at May 23, 2019 05:25 PM (wYseH)
-------
I thought he lived under a bridge.

Posted by: Weasel at May 23, 2019 05:26 PM (MVjcR)

75 LOL, Trump had a honey of a press conference.. Put SanFranNan in her place... Told the press he was a very stable genius

Posted by: It's me donna at May 23, 2019 05:26 PM (O2RFr)

76 We had 'Little Black Sambo' pancake restaurants when I was growing up

One left in Lincoln City, its just called Sambo's now though and doesn't have the lil' black kid logo. I always thought that story showed Sambo as being kinda cool myself. He outwitted a tiger and magically turned it into butter, how is that bad?

Posted by: Christopher R Taylor at May 23, 2019 05:26 PM (39g3+)

77 I remember going to the roller rink and that was the first time I heard 'Funky Town'.

In fact, for a roller rink in a very white town, they played a LOT of funk and Disco and Motown. Good stuff.

Posted by: Mark Andrew Edwards, Angry, Radical, Anti-Liberal, and Dangerous: buy ammo at May 23, 2019 05:26 PM (bcbK8)

78
Builder toys, what is best? Lincoln logs Erector set Tinker toys Lego
Posted by: Brave Sir Robin at May 23, 2019 05:24 PM (kYeLp)

Woodburning sets

Posted by: Flawless Male Logic at May 23, 2019 05:26 PM (TAmPV)

79 Once three of us jumped feet first off a garage roof into 4 feet of snow and got stuck from the waist down in the snow pack for about 10 minutes. Writhing around like idiots trying to get enough purchase to pull ourselves out.

Rope - tree. Another time I looped a stout rope around a high branch and tied it (uh huh) off up about 15 feet high so I could do rope climbs on the tree.
I started up the rope and got about 8 feet up when suddenly I was flying up the rope! For about a tenth of a second I was amazed I could climb a rope so fast!

Yeah, not so much. Looking back I wish they'd had personal phone cameras back then, because me whirling my arms pulling the rope through as I fast as I could as the rope and I fell from 8 feet up must have looked hilarious.

The best was using an old rubber/plastic hose as a zip line about 12 feet up between a couple old apple trees and we couldn't figure out why every time we went down the line it seemed we were closer to the ground,
until the plastic finely stretched to the breaking point.

I'm sure our parents would be visited by CPS now and we'd be placed in foster care.

Posted by: DamnedYankee at May 23, 2019 05:27 PM (37IEG)

80 One left in Lincoln City, its just called Sambo's now though and doesn't have the lil' black kid logo. I always thought that story showed Sambo as being kinda cool myself. He outwitted a tiger and magically turned it into butter, how is that bad?
Posted by: Christopher R Taylor at May 23, 2019 05:26 PM (39g3+)

Because some people are hypersensitive retards.

Posted by: Insomniac at May 23, 2019 05:27 PM (NWiLs)

81 I remember pitting pennies on the railroad track to get them flattened and picking black berries from around the tracks. Great fun as a kid.

Posted by: Dr Spank at May 23, 2019 05:27 PM (4e+hS)

82 anyone remember Nilsson's "The Point"

the story of Oblio and his dog Arrow?
being banished to the Pointless Forrest?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hHgj1uQ5FH8

Posted by: nurse ratched at May 23, 2019 05:27 PM (d7Ww2)

83 @56
Daisy BB gun. Until mom took it away for murdering song birds. Heh. Got it back in a couple of weeks after learning me lesson (dont fukkin get caught).

Posted by: Xipe Totec at May 23, 2019 05:27 PM (hgso/)

84 YIKES, ace!! That first one is frightening.

Reminds me of the time I was 5 and my brother was 3, and we were so
excited to get to a hotel in Aspen with an outdoor pool that we decided
to jump in while the rest of the family were unpacking the car.

Yeah, except. . . neither of us knew how to swim. And we jumped into
the deep end. Womp womp! Fortunately mom heard us splashing and
flailing.

Posted by: Lizzy at May 23, 2019 05:22 PM---

Got you all beat. I was arrested when I was 2. My brother (4) convinced me that it would be a good idea to throw rocks at a Cop car parked outside our fence.

Got cuffed and stuffed and the Cops drug both of us to the front door and made my Mom tell us to quit throwing rocks at their car.

Posted by: The Great White Scotsman at May 23, 2019 05:27 PM (JUOKG)

85 "Putting"

Posted by: Dr Spank at May 23, 2019 05:27 PM (4e+hS)

86 We had 'Little Black Sambo' pancake restaurants when I was growing up

I remember it well... Had pancakes with "tiger butter."

Posted by: It's me donna at May 23, 2019 05:27 PM (O2RFr)

87 Ace's story reminds me of two brothers who built a cave in a sand pile in the next town over when I was growing up.

They used to play in the piles of a a very large sand pit, and one day could not be found. After a search they found the collapsed cave.

It was a tragedy my father used to tell me about whenever we drove past the place. Turns out the brothers were the same ages as my older brothers (is pride and joy) and I guess it left an impression on him.

Posted by: Gentlemen, this is democracy manifest at May 23, 2019 05:28 PM (LWu6U)

88 I don't have any childhood stories, but I do have one from when I was 24. I had been invited to a sorority party. I never really thought this could happen to me but...

Wait, that's a story for a different thread.

Posted by: Duke Lowell at May 23, 2019 05:28 PM (gC2IV)

89 and, thank you, Ace

Posted by: nurse ratched at May 23, 2019 05:28 PM (d7Ww2)

90 A snow fort I was making caved in on me once.

Got out on my own but it scared the bejeezus out of me.

Posted by: filbert at May 23, 2019 05:28 PM (Lz9fr)

91 Those are some great mental pictures lol, nowadays someone would call the cops if they see a little kid playing alone.

Posted by: brak at May 23, 2019 05:28 PM (CNmwk)

92 Being a boomer, my neighborhood had a bunch of kids. We ran around like a pack of wild Indians. We seemed to have no difficulty entertaining ourselves, and having fun just doing kid stuff.

Barefoot all summer, wading in creeks, riding bikes, playing this self-organized game or that.

Mostly, we hated breaking it off in time to be home for dinner.

Posted by: Mike Hammer, etc., etc. at May 23, 2019 05:28 PM (CDGwz)

93 Jewells45

Hi there! The keychain arrived yesterday, a day ahead of schedule!
Thank you so much. It's terrific and my new pride and joy to go along with my Ace of Spades Zippo.
Anyone who doesn't buy jewelry from Jewell's is due for a week in the barrel.

Posted by: Winston a dreg of society at May 23, 2019 05:28 PM (34+G7)

94 When I was 11 or 12 my buddy and I started digging a tunnel after watching The Great Escape. This was in Louisiana. Our tunnel project was going pretty good until it rained.

On another topic, how many purchase x-ray vision glasses?

Posted by: Can't resist temptation at May 23, 2019 05:28 PM (iXJM1)

95 Got you all beat. I was arrested when I was 2. My brother (4) convinced me that it would be a good idea to throw rocks at a Cop car parked outside our fence.

Got cuffed and stuffed and the Cops drug both of us to the front door and made my Mom tell us to quit throwing rocks at their car.
Posted by: The Great White Scotsman at May 23, 2019 05:27 PM (JUOKG)

You're lucky they didn't shoot your brother and put a drop piece in his hand.

Posted by: Insomniac at May 23, 2019 05:28 PM (NWiLs)

96 53 Hoplite Housewife, I loved Farrell's too. Did you grow up here? There was one at Tyson's.

Posted by: bluebell at May 23, 2019 05:24 PM (aXucN)

----------------
I grew up across the river, but defected to Virginia many years ago. We used to go the the Ferrell's at Wheaton Plaza.

I remember Tysons when there was an aviary in the center of it!

Posted by: Hoplite Housewife at May 23, 2019 05:29 PM (XXNQ+)

97 this thread is going to be good.

Posted by: trapper's girl at May 23, 2019 05:29 PM (DGS6j)

98 LOL, Trump had a honey of a press conference.. Put SanFranNan in her place... Told the press he was a very stable genius
Posted by: It's me donna at May 23, 2019 05:26 PM (O2RFr)

It was great. I just wish one of the witnesses he called had challenged the press to report the democrats' lie.

Posted by: Dan Smoot's Apprentice at May 23, 2019 05:29 PM (H8QX8)

99 I once built this huge dirt ramp at the bottom of a hill to jump my stingray bike from. Got a huge amount of speed up, hit the ramp just right and flew into the air. While airborne, the front wheel of my stingray bike flew completely off. When I hit the ground forks first, they dug into the dirt and catapulted me right over the handlebars. I lived to try something stupid on another day.

Posted by: Archer at May 23, 2019 05:29 PM (gmo/4)

100 ended up flat on my back seeing stars.

Posted by: vmom superior, order of sweet merciless ninjas at May 23, 2019 05:24 PM (dm05u)
---------

votermom, I saw stars once too. Up until then I just thought it was something only in cartoons.

I can't remember if it was when I slipped on the top stair and fell all the way down, breaking my ankle, or when I opened the freezer door and a chicken fell out and broke my toe. I rather think it was the ankle.

Sadly, neither of those happened in my childhood.

Posted by: bluebell at May 23, 2019 05:29 PM (aXucN)

101 "So I was stuck there for another half hour, again crying helplessly and pathetically like a Cuck at The Bulwark asking his Stallion to please stop making sex with his wife so hard."

I'm pretty sure I peed a little laughing at this!

Posted by: Tami at May 23, 2019 05:29 PM (cF8AT)

102 Ace, glad you survived.

And Amii Stewart. Wow!! She can enliven many a boyhood nap.

Posted by: NaCly Dog at May 23, 2019 05:29 PM (u82oZ)

103 We had 'Little Black Sambo' pancake restaurants when I was growing up
============
Did they run tigers around and around trees to make their butter?

Posted by: Brave Sir Robin at May 23, 2019 05:29 PM (kYeLp)

104 Brave Sir Robin to answer your question in the previous thread I live in Lee's Summit, a suburb of Kansas City.

Posted by: Jewells45 at May 23, 2019 05:29 PM (dUJdY)

105 Zod Chesapeake.

Carry on.

Posted by: Zod at May 23, 2019 05:30 PM (cKKn4)

106 Speaking of Fasting, can you drink beer while fasting?

How about Ale?

Posted by: Pete Seria at May 23, 2019 05:30 PM (7ZQe3)

107 Childhood memories. My favorite was when I was 10-13 yrs old. Navy family, the last 3 years before my dad retired we were stationed on Adak, Alaska. For a kid it was the best damn place to be. Every day was an adventure.

Posted by: Bosk at May 23, 2019 05:30 PM (9m9TT)

108 >>>>72 *looks at missing finger tip*

Yeah, remember reel mowers?

Don't flip one on its back, spin the wheel to get the blade reel going, and try to use it as a small wood chipper.

...

sorry to hear it.

The other day I was doing some weed-eating and getting ALL KINDS OF SLOPPY handling that thing. I had to put it down and take a breath and remind myself to pay attention to shit and not "take a look at how long the blade-line is up by my face" with the power on and my finger on the trigger (and pretty much HOLDING it by the trigger).

Posted by: ace at May 23, 2019 05:30 PM (PbpT7)

109
They used to play in the piles of a a very large sand pit, and one day could not be found. After a search they found the collapsed cave.
---------

This happened to a 12 year-old friend. A 'cave' in a river bluff. His twin brother was there with him when it happened.

Posted by: Mike Hammer, etc., etc. at May 23, 2019 05:30 PM (CDGwz)

110
Sex is fun
Posted by: Mark Andrew Edwards, Angry, Radical, Anti-Liberal, and Dangerous: buy ammo at May 23, 2019 05:21 PM (bcbK

Sex is best when its one on one.

Posted by: Sponge at May 23, 2019 05:30 PM (Zz0t1)

111 Ace, you were doing some weed-eating? Did you at least have the decency to invite JackStraw over?

Posted by: Broseidon - New Work Computer, Same Work Ethic at May 23, 2019 05:30 PM (oZ6kz)

112 Also, when playing war and you have an old surplus helmet, wear the damn thing. Being KO's by a grenade, aka a brick, is not an optimal outcome.

Posted by: Bert G at May 23, 2019 05:31 PM (OMsf+)

113 Yo!

Posted by: Yo! at May 23, 2019 05:31 PM (1XAal)

114 YUB-NUB!
YUB-NUB!

YUB!!!
NUB!!!!

Posted by: garrett at May 23, 2019 05:31 PM (VzI4f)

115 82 anyone remember Nilsson's "The Point"

the story of Oblio and his dog Arrow?
being banished to the Pointless Forrest?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hHgj1uQ5FH8
Posted by: nurse ratched at May 23, 2019 05:27 PM (d7Ww2)
-------

Why yes I do.

Posted by: WisRich at May 23, 2019 05:31 PM (G0vdT)

116 I was told there'd be no physics.

Posted by: ShainS -- Adversity Score = -1600 (full Self-Reliance penalty) at May 23, 2019 05:31 PM (RBhj5)

117 oh, I am laughing at The Adventures of 'Lil Ace so hard I am crying.

Posted by: garrett at May 23, 2019 05:31 PM (VzI4f)

118 I really only ever learned what the cool things were when bigger boys explained it to me with punches and headlocks.

that brother of mine with the shitty Harley assured me when I was about 10 or so that dirt daubers don't sting, they just look like wasps. So I push my bike under the side of the barn near a nest and commenced to get stung about 15 times as I wrestled my stingray out

"Pain builds character" he said.

Posted by: DanMan at May 23, 2019 05:32 PM (XTiHL)

119 I was FASCINATED by fire growing up. I wasn't a firebug, not exactly, but I'd light candles in my room and watch the flame for hours, digging channels in the candle for the wax to flow into, coating matches with wax and lighting them again.

I grew out of it, I guess.

My parents helped. You see, our neighbor across the street was building a new house. And they had a huge pile of dirt. (We used to use dirt clods as hand grenades when we played War) And I went onto the dirt mound and lit some scrap lumber ends on fire. Then smothered the fire with dirt. Then started a new fire, put it out. On and on.

And I went home, bragging about the fires I put out...seeking praise like the beta bitch I was for most of my life. And my dad beat the HELL out of me. Maybe one of the worst beatings in a lifetime of them.

Cured me of my fire fascination though.

Posted by: Mark Andrew Edwards, Angry, Radical, Anti-Liberal, and Dangerous: buy ammo at May 23, 2019 05:32 PM (bcbK8)

120 LOL, I'm picturing Ace stuck like Winnie the Pooh. Oh bother!.

Don't feel jealous, but I have the LP of MECO's "Star Wars and Other Galactic Funk", and it's glorious:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uJ3kV3Icm28

Thank you, hipster record store.

Posted by: All Hail Eris, Literate Savage at May 23, 2019 05:32 PM (kQs4Y)

121 I had my first happy ending in 1978. Good times.

Posted by: Robert Kraft at May 23, 2019 05:32 PM (Jj+59)

122 I had a student (at an engineering university) who as a freshman jumped off a high balcony into a pile of leaves. Quadriplegic. School had to become wheelchair accessible and he had an assistant to help him get around in class and take notes.

I kind of thought anyone that stupid should not be eligible for an engineering degree, though.

Posted by: Gentlemen, this is democracy manifest at May 23, 2019 05:32 PM (LWu6U)

123 >>> once built this huge dirt ramp at the bottom of a hill to jump my stingray bike from. Got a huge amount of speed up, hit the ramp just right and flew into the air. While airborne, the front wheel of my stingray bike flew completely off. When I hit the ground forks first, they dug into the dirt and catapulted me right over the handlebars. I lived to try something stupid on another day.

wow. I don't have quite that story, but I took a ramp that was just a rotten ratty plank leaned on a cinderblock, steeply, and hit the ramp at a fast speed and promptly collapsed the plank and hit the cinderblock and the bike rotated upwards like a bucking bronco and sent me flying over the handlebars.

Posted by: ace at May 23, 2019 05:32 PM (PbpT7)

124 We also tied a rope from one tree to another about 30 feet away and made a zip line ( I assume decadesbefore they were called zip lines? At least to my kid brain) . We used our belts as the intended transport mechanism. That's when I learned a hard lesson about heat friction .

Posted by: Can't resist temptation at May 23, 2019 05:33 PM (iXJM1)

125 Good thing you're not claustrophobic.

Posted by: Braenyard at May 23, 2019 05:33 PM (pz2C4)

126 Can we stomp this idea of cultural appropriation??

Posted by: Yo! at May 23, 2019 05:33 PM (1XAal)

127 One memory that really sticks for me is when my Mom, Grandmother and two Aunts (along with a bunch of their teenage friends) took me to see The Beatles in 1964 in Milwaukee. Something I'll never forget. Incredible.

And yeah, I saw Jackie DeShannon open for the Beatles.

Posted by: Pete Seria at May 23, 2019 05:33 PM (7ZQe3)

128 Got cuffed and stuffed and the Cops drug both of us to the front door and made my Mom tell us to quit throwing rocks at their car.
Posted by: The Great White Scotsman at May 23, 2019 05:27 PM (JUOKG)

We got busted shooting at birds in a marked bird sanctuary with BB guns.

Posted by: Sponge at May 23, 2019 05:33 PM (Zz0t1)

129 >>We had Shakey's Pizza and Ferrell's Ice Cream parlor.

Ha! Yes!
Was it at Shakey's where the clown sang the b-day song like, "Happy birth-a-day to you" *honk honk*

And Farrell's had the fire alarm horn sound when you ordered the mega sundae?

Posted by: Lizzy at May 23, 2019 05:33 PM (W+vEI)

130 110
Sex is fun
Posted by: Mark Andrew Edwards, Angry, Radical, Anti-Liberal, and Dangerous: buy ammo at May 23, 2019 05:21 PM (bcbK

Sex is best when its one on one.
Posted by: Sponge at May 23, 2019 05:30 PM (Zz0t1)

Mostly true.

I did have ONE great threesome. (And a couple not good ones)

Posted by: Mark Andrew Edwards, Angry, Radical, Anti-Liberal, and Dangerous: buy ammo at May 23, 2019 05:33 PM (bcbK8)

131 The only stupid thing I can recall doing as a kid was running away from home. I was living in Wichita Falls. They issued a tornado warning and I was scared shitless. And lost. Some cop pulled up and asked my name. I started crying. He took me home.

Posted by: Jewells45 at May 23, 2019 05:33 PM (dUJdY)

132 I was really hoping that the same neighbor saved you from the snow fort, Ace. Then chopped it up with a snow shovel. I have a vision of the same neighbor following you around and destroying things that you endanger yourself with.

Posted by: annem at May 23, 2019 05:33 PM (Fm81C)

133 103
We had 'Little Black Sambo' pancake restaurants when I was growing up

============

Did they run tigers around and around trees to make their butter?

Posted by: Brave Sir Robin at May 23, 2019 05:29 PM (kYeLp)
When I was in college in western Mass at Fitchburg State they had a Sambo's in Leominster, and because that was about the time in our country that was determined to be 'wrong' they changed the name - to Lambo's.
I don't think they were fooling anyone.

Posted by: DamnedYankee at May 23, 2019 05:33 PM (37IEG)

134 I remember pitting pennies on the railroad track to get them flattened and picking black berries from around the tracks. Great fun as a kid.
Posted by: Dr Spank at May 23, 2019 05:27 PM (4e+hS)

Did the penny thing once.

Turns out it was in front of a train carrying nuclear waste complete with State Trooper supervision including helicopter.

Posted by: golfman at May 23, 2019 05:33 PM (OE84+)

135
Childhood memories. My favorite was when I was 10-13 yrs old. Navy family, the last 3 years before my dad retired we were stationed on Adak, Alaska. For a kid it was the best damn place to be. Every day was an adventure.

Posted by: Bosk at May 23, 2019 05:30 PM (9m9TT)

I was station station there at the Marine Barracks

Posted by: Flawless Male Logic at May 23, 2019 05:34 PM (TAmPV)

136 >>We got busted shooting at birds in a marked bird sanctuary with BB guns.

This is why you didn't get into sniper school.

Posted by: garrett at May 23, 2019 05:34 PM (VzI4f)

137 My very first summer job, I was maybe fifteen, was unloading sacks of something or another (some kind of grain, I think) from a railroad car.

Two sacks into the job, I fell out of the railroad car, flat onto my back. The floor of a railroad car is like five feet off the ground.

Landing flat on your back after falling five feet or so kinda hurts. At least the 50 or 100 pound bags of whatever it was didn't land on top of me.

But that was the end of my first summer job.

Posted by: filbert at May 23, 2019 05:34 PM (Lz9fr)

138 I used to fall down a lot and bash my head. I don't recall this but my mom says that when the doctor asked why I didn't put out my hands to stop my fall, I said that it tears them up bad and hurts. Apparently the head blow didn't hurt as bad, or something. And yeah gravel in your hands really does sting

Posted by: Christopher R Taylor at May 23, 2019 05:34 PM (39g3+)

139 My mom didn't like me playing outside by myself

Said it was "dangerous"

Dunno if it was because of that one time I was playing at climbing a pile of gravel and managed to step on a big nail

or maybe it was because of that time when I was around 3 and I was playing hop sideways up and down steps and I saw a big snake on the step next to me

so I yelled hey mom look a snake

and she was busy and yelled back it's probably a worm honey

so I look closer and tell her indignantly its a SNAKE

so she comes over, SHRIEKS, grabs me by the arm and hustles me away then grabs a 2x4 and starts doing battle

later she tells dad it's the biggest damn snake she's ever seen

Posted by: vmom superior, order of sweet merciless ninjas at May 23, 2019 05:34 PM (dm05u)

140 I am amazed I haven't killed myself at the farm yet. Every single tool there is designed to maim. I shit you not. Since it's kind of a remote location , I came to the conclusion early on that if anything happened I was going to have to deal with it on my own, so I bought an enormous duffel bag and stuffed it with all sorts of trauma shit.

Posted by: Weasel at May 23, 2019 05:34 PM (MVjcR)

141 I rode a taxi to my pre-school. Some doltish boy sitting next to pulled open the door and I tumbled out while the taxi was going (No seatbealts) Fortunately, it must have been going slowly because I didn't break any bones but I bit part of my tongue off and they had to put it back with some purplish goo.

Posted by: FenelonSpoke at May 23, 2019 05:34 PM (ahS0B)

142 I'll never forget the summer when all my friends got killed by an alien clown spider, but not until after we gangbanged.

Posted by: Broseidon - New Work Computer, Same Work Ethic at May 23, 2019 05:34 PM (oZ6kz)

143 I remember, quite some years ago, when two strapping young lads named Nick and Estavan went YARD on my wife for two hours while I masturbated my tiny sad cocktail weiner in the closet.

Posted by: Bill Kristol at May 23, 2019 05:34 PM (PbpT7)

144 FIRST!!!!!

Posted by: Sponge at May 23, 2019 05:34 PM (Zz0t1)

145 So, the first time I competed a double back flip I under rotated, landed on my face, and my braces got stuck in the carpet of the floor exercise mat.

My coach ran out onto the floor to see if I was ok, because I wasn't getting up. He then collapsed into hysterics and found some toenail clippers to free my teeth.

The entire gym was howling, and the judges fell out of their chairs.

Posted by: nurse ratched at May 23, 2019 05:34 PM (d7Ww2)

146 127 One memory that really sticks for me is when my Mom, Grandmother and two Aunts (along with a bunch of their teenage friends) took me to see The Beatles in 1964 in Milwaukee. Something I'll never forget. Incredible.

I saw the Beatles in San Francisco in 64'... Once they started you couldn't hear a word they sang because of the screaming

Posted by: It's me donna at May 23, 2019 05:34 PM (O2RFr)

147 Almost forgot.

Posted by: Sponge at May 23, 2019 05:34 PM (Zz0t1)

148 I was FASCINATED by fire growing up.
------

Many kids go through the 'playing with matches' stage. Matches are not really a household thing anymore. Perhaps better that way.

Posted by: Mike Hammer, etc., etc. at May 23, 2019 05:35 PM (CDGwz)

149 the front wheel of my stingray bike flew completely off. When I hit the
ground forks first, they dug into the dirt and catapulted me right over
the handlebars. I lived to try something stupid on another day.

A childhood friend of mine had the same thing happen. He broke his arm on the handlebars on impact.

Posted by: Bert G at May 23, 2019 05:35 PM (OMsf+)

150 I remember Tysons when there was an aviary in the center of it!

Posted by: Hoplite Housewife at May 23, 2019 05:29 PM (XXNQ+)
-----------

When was that? And where? I'm trying to think if I saw that but it might have been during a time when I didn't live here.

Posted by: bluebell at May 23, 2019 05:35 PM (aXucN)

151

Trump talking about Nanzi today:

"She's not the same person. She's lost it."

Trump just declared war. Nanzi had her chance.

Next week or two, the secret testimony will begin to be released, and the Democrats and their democrat Press critters will be shitting full bricks.

And I just got a big container of Orville Redenbacher's from Costco!

Posted by: LeftCoast Dawg at May 23, 2019 05:35 PM (sy5kK)

152 103 We had 'Little Black Sambo' pancake restaurants when I was growing up
============
Did they run tigers around and around trees to make their butter?
Posted by: Brave Sir Robin at May 23, 2019 05:29 PM (kYeLp)

If you can believe the cartoons printed on the walls and menus, yes.

Posted by: Mark Andrew Edwards, Angry, Radical, Anti-Liberal, and Dangerous: buy ammo at May 23, 2019 05:35 PM (bcbK8)

153 Summers as a kid. Hop on the bike and wouldn't return til dinner time. A favorite was fishing for crawdads down at the creek. Just some kite string and bologna. Little buggers wouldn't let go even when you pull them out of the water.

Posted by: Duke Lowell at May 23, 2019 05:35 PM (gC2IV)

154 Those are some fucked up memories, ace.

Posted by: Max Power at May 23, 2019 05:35 PM (q177U)

155 Riding my bike down Killer Hill. A U-shapped clay dirt area. Great fun.

When I got back to it as an adult, not so high as I remembered.

Posted by: NaCly Dog at May 23, 2019 05:36 PM (u82oZ)

156 My best times as a kid was riding the lawn mower motor powered mini bikes. I upgraded to a Honda 70 when I was 12.

Posted by: Can't resist temptation at May 23, 2019 05:36 PM (iXJM1)

157 As youths, we used to climb good sized trees, then jump from them, grabbing near the top of a nearby sapling and 'riding' the sapling down to the ground like an elevator.

Pro tip: in early spring, dead, non-flexible saplings often resemble living, flexible saplings.

Posted by: Vashta Nerada at May 23, 2019 05:36 PM (YslsA)

158 Mostly true.

I did have ONE great threesome. (And a couple not good ones)
Posted by: Mark Andrew Edwards, Angry, Radical, Anti-Liberal, and Dangerous: buy ammo at May 23, 2019 05:33 PM (bcbK

I thought you were quoting song lyrics.......

Posted by: Sponge at May 23, 2019 05:36 PM (Zz0t1)

159 The shit we did as kids would require jail time now.

Posted by: Mr Aspirin Factory at May 23, 2019 05:36 PM (nDe2U)

160 Cured me of my fire fascination though.

HA! That just jarred my memory. I was playing with matches in my closet and started a fire. I ran out of the house. Thankfully not a lot of damage. My poor mom. She was a single mom. I did NOT make life easy for her. I resented her leaving my dad.

Posted by: Jewells45 at May 23, 2019 05:36 PM (dUJdY)

161 I saw the Beatles in San Francisco in 64'... Once they started you couldn't hear a word they sang because of the screaming

---

Exactly, That's why I say "I saw the Beatles". I never heard them but I saw them plain as day.

I think that was the start of my Tinnitus.

Posted by: Pete Seria at May 23, 2019 05:36 PM (7ZQe3)

162 We had Shakey's Pizza and Ferrell's Ice Cream parlor.

Us too. Shakey's even had the player piano.

Posted by: golfman at May 23, 2019 05:36 PM (OE84+)

163 109

They used to play in the piles of a a very large sand pit, and one
day could not be found. After a search they found the collapsed cave.

---------

This happened to a 12 year-old friend. A 'cave' in a river bluff. His twin brother was there with him when it happened.

Posted by: Mike Hammer, etc., etc. at May 23, 2019 05:30 PM (CDGwz)
We used to play on the sand mounds at a concrete block company, our parents always used to warn us about getting buried in the sand like that. Didn't stop us of course, because parents are stupid and every kid knows you don't just get buried by sand, sheesh.

Posted by: DamnedYankee at May 23, 2019 05:36 PM (37IEG)

164 We did jump off of house roofs with trash bags in a parachute test......

Posted by: Sponge at May 23, 2019 05:36 PM (Zz0t1)

165 >> anyone remember Nilsson's "The Point"

Ted Cruz looks like a blue meanie.
I haven't binged it to verify, but that was my first thought when I saw him.

Posted by: Lizzy at May 23, 2019 05:36 PM (W+vEI)

166 Some cop pulled up and asked my name. I started crying. He took me home.

Aw

poor lil' Jewells

Posted by: Christopher R Taylor at May 23, 2019 05:36 PM (39g3+)

167 >>So, the first time I competed a double back flip I under rotated, landed on my face, and my braces got stuck in the carpet of the floor exercise mat.

Rug Munching Gymnasts 3 was a great movie!

Posted by: garrett at May 23, 2019 05:36 PM (VzI4f)

168 Solid Gold for people who didn't have MTV.

Posted by: Patrick from Ohio at May 23, 2019 05:37 PM (dKiJG)

169 the bike rotated upwards like a bucking bronco and sent me flying over the handlebars.

Posted by: ace at May 23, 2019 05:32 PM (PbpT7)

I think every man of a certain age has done that, or something like it!

Joey Dunston and I actually got over the ramp. He watched me take the tumble, and promptly did the exact same thing.

No, neither of us were rocket surgeons.

Posted by: CharlieBrown'sDildo at May 23, 2019 05:37 PM (wYseH)

170 Bob's Big Boy or Shoney's Pizza with the player piano in it

Shoney's or Shakeys?

Posted by: Grump928(C) at May 23, 2019 05:37 PM (QCwhW)

171 I do remember biking to the video store and trying to see the VHS box covers in the "18+" section that was behind a pair of saloon doors.

Posted by: Broseidon - New Work Computer, Same Work Ethic at May 23, 2019 05:37 PM (oZ6kz)

172 Another moron, could be qdpsteve, reports a Sambo's still open in Santa Barbara, I think. Dunno, have barely stopped there for years, just cruise on through.

Lucky, so many good childhood memories it's impossible to pick. Hockey practice in the morning, beach/body-surfing all day, minor league hockey game at night - that was a good Saturday in October.

Many many dangerous dumb things, fortunately no success in terms of crippling injuries. Tree forts, messing around with rattlers, heading out even when surf was just 6-ft walled out storm crap.

Posted by: rhomboid at May 23, 2019 05:37 PM (QDnY+)

173 pinata ace

You were lucky there weren't any kids around with sticks.

Posted by: bananadream at May 23, 2019 05:38 PM (YR7aL)

174 I do remember being absolutely bullet proof. One of our games was hurling ourselves off a friends roof. I guess when you weigh 70 pounds you land pretty lightly.

Posted by: Max Power at May 23, 2019 05:38 PM (q177U)

175 Can we stomp this idea of cultural appropriation??
Posted by: Yo!
----------

Stomping is a tool of white supremacy.

Posted by: Mike Hammer, etc., etc. at May 23, 2019 05:38 PM (CDGwz)

176 As a boy, i made a snow drift into an igloo. Hollowed out one side to a cave, cut blocks for hard packed snow for blocks and then dug a tunnel out. It was great, but my plans to move there for the winter were foiled when someone stomped it flat overnight. Turns out my dad watched through the kitchen window while my friends and I build it and played there. As soon as we came in for supper, he ran out and destroyed it so we couldn't kill ourselves with it. That parental sense that detects when a kid about to entertain himself to death is amazing.

Posted by: Downcast at May 23, 2019 05:38 PM (VGRNU)

177 138 I used to fall down a lot and bash my head. I don't recall this but my mom says that when the doctor asked why I didn't put out my hands to stop my fall, I said that it tears them up bad and hurts. Apparently the head blow didn't hurt as bad, or something. And yeah gravel in your hands really does sting
Posted by: Christopher R Taylor at May 23, 2019 05:34 PM (39g3+)

I was literally dropped on my head as a child. My parents didn't tell me until I was in my 20's.

That explains their expressions whenever someone asked me that in front of them.

It might explain a few things.

Posted by: Mark Andrew Edwards, Angry, Radical, Anti-Liberal, and Dangerous: buy ammo at May 23, 2019 05:38 PM (bcbK8)

178 Many kids go through the 'playing with matches' stage. Matches are not really a household thing anymore. Perhaps better that way.
Posted by: Mike Hammer, etc., etc. at May 23, 2019 05:35 PM (CDGwz)

We almost lit a neighbor's house on fire. They had rope hangers for potted plants outside on the eaves. The rope burned REALLY fast......

Posted by: Sponge at May 23, 2019 05:38 PM (Zz0t1)

179 Flawless Male Logic...What year? I'd say we were there 70-73 but then you all would figure I'm not 29.

Posted by: Bosk at May 23, 2019 05:38 PM (9m9TT)

180 One memory I have is my dad driving me to away soccer games in the middle of fucking nowhere pre-google using hand-drawn maps that were complete ass. We got lost frequently, to the extent of completely missing more than one. This was in central Mass.

Posted by: phone of kari at May 23, 2019 05:38 PM (7AWYc)

181 Matches are not really a household thing anymore. Perhaps better that way.

Posted by: Mike Hammer, etc., etc. at May 23, 2019 05:35 PM (CDGwz)

But then how would you light the turpentine you poured across your dad's work bench to see whether it burned?

Posted by: CharlieBrown'sDildo at May 23, 2019 05:38 PM (wYseH)

182 omg nurse! How embarassing!

Posted by: Jewells45 at May 23, 2019 05:38 PM (dUJdY)

183 I was really hoping that the same neighbor saved you from the snow fort, Ace. Then chopped it up with a snow shovel. I have a vision of the same neighbor following you around and destroying things that you endanger yourself with.
Posted by: annem at May 23, 2019 05:33 PM (Fm81C)
----------

I was hoping that too - how awesome would it be to have your guardian angel live next door?!

Posted by: bluebell at May 23, 2019 05:38 PM (aXucN)

184 >> I do remember being absolutely bullet proof.

I remember the smell and the sting of bactine.

Posted by: garrett at May 23, 2019 05:39 PM (VzI4f)

185 I've seen a few (Facebook or YouTube) stories of parents showing their kids in some snow cave they dug .. some pretty big. I always think "are you watching these kids, in case of collapse?"

probably not many kids die from that ... it is not like an avalanche where snow basically freezes like ice, but still, even the parents seem a little careless about their kid potentially getting buried under a couple hundred pounds of snow. While they are proudly posting pics of their little kid's incredible snow cave, the kid might be screaming and kicking ...

Posted by: illiniwek at May 23, 2019 05:39 PM (Cus5s)

186 I think we are the generation between "life is cheap," when you expected half your kids to die of a flue or plague or something, and "every child must be protected from everything" where you follow the kid around with a bandaid in case they hurt a finger.

I think that explained the change in attitude toward war. In WWI countries sent all their kids to die in trenches, as it always had been, and then 50 years later no one would tolerate it anymore.

Posted by: Gentlemen, this is democracy manifest at May 23, 2019 05:39 PM (LWu6U)

187 So this is THE REALLY STUPID SHIT I DID AS A KID thread?

Excellent.

and this:
"crying helplessly and pathetically like a Cuck at The Bulwark asking his
Stallion to please stop making sex with his wife so hard."

.....will me make through the weekend so take the rest of the week of ace!

Posted by: Cannibal Bob at May 23, 2019 05:39 PM (7CM5W)

188 I was literally dropped on my head as a child. My parents didn't tell me until I was in my 20's.

That explains their expressions whenever someone asked me that in front of them.

It might explain a few things.
Posted by: Mark Andrew Edwards, Angry, Radical, Anti-Liberal, and Dangerous: buy ammo at May 23, 2019 05:38 PM (bcbK

My mom hit me on top of the head with a 2x4 once.

I blacked out for a few seconds....

Posted by: Sponge at May 23, 2019 05:39 PM (Zz0t1)

189 remember pitting pennies on the railroad track to get them flattened and picking black berries from around the tracks. Great fun as a kid.
Posted by: Dr Spank at May 23, 2019 05:27 PM (4e+hS)

Picking blackberries was the best. We called them dewberries. It was like free candy.

Posted by: Can't resist temptation at May 23, 2019 05:39 PM (iXJM1)

190 DailySignal - Electoral college opponents attempt to have it both ways
http://tinyurl.com/y42rpg9m
Short read as per yesterday explaining the end around of the Electorate college.

Posted by: Skip at May 23, 2019 05:39 PM (BbGew)

191 When I was little I had this awesome old guy for a neighbor who was always nice and let me hang around pestering him while he did all kinds of cool projects.

But one day, he was cutting apart a Cadillac with an acetylene torch, which is dangerous business for a little kid to meddle around. He told me three or four times to watch from a distance, and this was too far... my little kid meddlesomeness ABSOLUTELY WOULD NOT permit me to keep away from something so badass.

So, eventually, he hooked a comealong through my belt, strung me up from the bottom of his deck, finished cutting up the Caddy, and then called my mom to get me.

So she left me hanging there awhile longer while they had coffee.

Posted by: Yudhishthira's Dice at May 23, 2019 05:39 PM (lalCH)

192 157
As youths, we used to climb good sized trees, then jump from them,
grabbing near the top of a nearby sapling and 'riding' the sapling down
to the ground like an elevator.

Pro tip: in early spring, dead, non-flexible saplings often resemble living, flexible saplings.

Posted by: Vashta Nerada at May 23, 2019 05:36 PM (YslsA)
We did that with some douglas firs that went all the way from the ground up with the bows - jumping out of a maple tree onto the fir tree and riding down on the boughs.
Next pro tip: This works great when you weigh under 90 pounds - you might want to rethink it if you weigh 190.

Posted by: DamnedYankee at May 23, 2019 05:39 PM (37IEG)

193 My best memories were playing "army" with friends at the local flood
control basin we all called "The Sump" using bb-guns and tennis ball
cannons fashioned into bazookas.

Castor bean plants grew wild there and one of my friends ate half a bean on a dare. He was pretty sick for a couple of weeks.

Posted by: Eisenhorn at May 23, 2019 05:39 PM (uGHnY)

194
What year? I'd say we were there 70-73 but then you all would figure I'm not 29.

Posted by: Bosk at May 23, 2019 05:38 PM (9m9TT)

1978-79

Posted by: Flawless Male Logic at May 23, 2019 05:39 PM (TAmPV)

195 I'm surprised you lived through your childhood, Ace!

(And I liked most of those songs, too.)

Posted by: Jeanie Summers at May 23, 2019 05:39 PM (kPk9Q)

196 I tell stories to my school kids sometimes. Like when you pick up a green snake, hide it behind your back, and pull it out saying "Surprise, Mom."

Do. Not. Do. That.

Posted by: NaCly Dog at May 23, 2019 05:39 PM (u82oZ)

197 Methialade. The red shit. It burns like hell.

Posted by: Mr Aspirin Factory at May 23, 2019 05:40 PM (nDe2U)

198 129 >>We had Shakey's Pizza and Ferrell's Ice Cream parlor.

Ha! Yes!
Was it at Shakey's where the clown sang the b-day song like, "Happy birth-a-day to you" *honk honk*

And Farrell's had the fire alarm horn sound when you ordered the mega sundae?
Posted by: Lizzy at May 23, 2019 05:33 PM (W+vEI)

Shakey's was cool but in retrospect the pizza was bloody awful. We also went to a place called the Red Barn but that could have just been a Maryland thing.

Posted by: joncelli, because somebody had to at May 23, 2019 05:40 PM (RD7QR)

199 Because I know someone here will appreciate it, here's a vid of baby manatees being fed:

https://is.gd/CWV1rn

Posted by: Brother Cavil at May 23, 2019 05:40 PM (AM1GF)

200 Both times I did really potentially harmful screw-ups, my grandmother was visiting and bailed me out.

I was firing bottle rockets off the back porch in the dead of July and of course started a fire in the little pasture out back. I ran in bellowing and my grandma came running out, snatched a blanket of the line and smothers the fire in about 30 seconds.

Next time, my buddy and I left the gate open and the neighbor's cattle got out. We tried herding them back, but they ignored us. SO I ran to get my grandma, who hooted them back in the pasture in 5 minutes.

Always hold out for a farm grandma, is the lesson here. Accept no substitutes.

Posted by: spongeworthy at May 23, 2019 05:40 PM (35Slc)

201 Not me (thankfully ) brother had one of the Honda 50 fat tires (70s) He crashed and burned on a gravl road that had the liquid tar applied.

Posted by: A dude in MI at May 23, 2019 05:41 PM (OOH1c)

202 But then how would you light the turpentine you poured across your dad's work bench to see whether it burned?

Posted by: CharlieBrown'sDildo
----------

Dammit. You just triggered a memory.

Posted by: Mike Hammer, etc., etc. at May 23, 2019 05:41 PM (CDGwz)

203 181
Matches are not really a household thing anymore. Perhaps better that way.

Posted by: Mike Hammer, etc., etc. at May 23, 2019 05:35 PM (CDGwz)

But then how would you light the turpentine you poured across your dad's work bench to see whether it burned?

Posted by: CharlieBrown'sDildo at May 23, 2019 05:38 PM (wYseH)
And how would you have match fights on the pavement?

Posted by: DamnedYankee at May 23, 2019 05:41 PM (37IEG)

204 My mom hit me on top of the head with a 2x4 once.

I blacked out for a few seconds....

Posted by: Sponge at May 23, 2019 05:39 PM (Zz0t1)

Frying pan. Oh and once she turned from the sink with knife and said "so help I'll stab you!"I was going to try to hug her to make up for pissing her off. Good times.

Posted by: Cannibal Bob at May 23, 2019 05:41 PM (7CM5W)

205
I can't remember if it was when I slipped on the top stair and fell all the way down, breaking my ankle, or when I opened the freezer door and a chicken fell out and broke my toe. I rather think it was the ankle.

==

my mom told when we moved to the house I grew up in, I fell down the stairs so many times my dad rebuilt to be a curving staircase

Posted by: vmom superior, order of sweet merciless ninjas at May 23, 2019 05:41 PM (dm05u)

206 160 Cured me of my fire fascination though.

HA! That just jarred my memory. I was playing with matches in my closet and started a fire. I ran out of the house. Thankfully not a lot of damage. My poor mom. She was a single mom. I did NOT make life easy for her. I resented her leaving my dad.
Posted by: Jewells45 at May 23, 2019 05:36 PM (dUJdY)

That's a close one!

Posted by: Mark Andrew Edwards, Angry, Radical, Anti-Liberal, and Dangerous: buy ammo at May 23, 2019 05:41 PM (bcbK8)

207 You don't go to Shakey's for the pizza. You go for the mojos.

Posted by: Mark1971 at May 23, 2019 05:41 PM (xPl2J)

208 190 DailySignal - Electoral college opponents attempt to have it both ways
http://tinyurl.com/y42rpg9m
Short read as per yesterday explaining the end around of the Electorate college.

This can't possibly hold up in court can it?

Posted by: It's me donna at May 23, 2019 05:41 PM (O2RFr)

209 Some of my fondest memories are of winter: swordfights with huge icicles, sledding, snowball fights, snow forts, and skating on partially frozen ponds.

Posted by: All Hail Eris, Literate Savage at May 23, 2019 05:41 PM (kQs4Y)

210 Man, lots of different ways to maybe die out there. Snow drift tunnels, old ropes.

Was it here or somewhere else where I saw the story about a guy that fell into a one of those fold-up laundry racks, got trapped and died as a result of the struggle to free himself? Corner said something like, "Getting killed by a laundry rack is probably rarer than getting killed by lightning strike." Have to agree.

Posted by: Frankovich's Monster at May 23, 2019 05:41 PM (hdzef)

211 I was a pretty cautious child, though my younger brother was a charmed idiot when it came to doing stupid things that should've ended in broken bones or blood-gushing wounds.

I saved all the stupid stuff until later in life .. 18-30. Surfing and enduro/trials motorcycling.

Posted by: 13times at May 23, 2019 05:42 PM (K3B2k)

212 Bottle rocket and BB gun wars ftw.

No head shots.

Posted by: Mr Aspirin Factory at May 23, 2019 05:42 PM (nDe2U)

213 >>Got you all beat. I was arrested when I was 2.

Yup, you win.

Posted by: Lizzy at May 23, 2019 05:42 PM (W+vEI)

214 204 My mom hit me on top of the head with a 2x4 once.

I blacked out for a few seconds....

Posted by: Sponge at May 23, 2019 05:39 PM (Zz0t1)

Frying pan. Oh and once she turned from the sink with knife and said "so help I'll stab you!"I was going to try to hug her to make up for pissing her off. Good times.
Posted by: Cannibal Bob at May 23, 2019 05:41 PM (7CM5W)

Sounds lovely.

Posted by: Insomniac at May 23, 2019 05:42 PM (NWiLs)

215 >>We had Shakey's Pizza and Ferrell's Ice Cream parlor.

Ha! Yes!
Was it at Shakey's where the clown sang the b-day song like, "Happy birth-a-day to you" *honk honk*

And Farrell's had the fire alarm horn sound when you ordered the mega sundae?
Posted by: Lizzy at May 23, 2019 05:33 PM

The Lalapalooza! Hey all.

Posted by: Minnfidel at May 23, 2019 05:42 PM (L3YlV)

216 Bottle rocket and BB gun wars ftw.

No head shots.
Posted by: Mr Aspirin Factory at May 23, 2019 05:42 PM (nDe2U)

We had roman candle and wrist rocket fights.

Posted by: Sponge at May 23, 2019 05:42 PM (Zz0t1)

217 Twice I hid in a to tight holes and had to be pulled out as I couldn't get myself out, a exterior chimney fireplace and a laundry shute.

Posted by: Skip at May 23, 2019 05:43 PM (BbGew)

218 "Rope's gotta be higher, Kid."

"You'll never get off with it down around your diaphragm."

Posted by: Ace's Neighbor at May 23, 2019 05:43 PM (VzI4f)

219 199 Because I know someone here will appreciate it, here's a vid of baby manatees being fed:

https://is.gd/CWV1rn
Posted by: Brother Cavil at May 23, 2019 05:40 PM (AM1GF)
----
WeaselWoman will love it!

Posted by: Weasel at May 23, 2019 05:43 PM (MVjcR)

220 So she left me hanging there awhile longer while they had coffee.
Posted by: Yudhishthira's Dice at May 23, 2019 05:39 PM (lalCH)
-------------

You sound like Dennis the Menace, and your neighbor was Mr. Wilson. And I would like to meet your mom.

Posted by: bluebell at May 23, 2019 05:43 PM (aXucN)

221 I remember the smell and the sting of bactine.

---

Or Unguentine (sp?)

Posted by: Pete Seria at May 23, 2019 05:43 PM (7ZQe3)

222 Sounds lovely.
Posted by: Insomniac at May 23, 2019 05:42 PM (NWiLs)

Did I mention she did it on purpose?

Posted by: Sponge at May 23, 2019 05:43 PM (Zz0t1)

223 When I was in kindergarten in Pacific Grove, I fell out of a tree and landed on my face. Thick bloody gunk started oozing from one nostril just like toothpaste from a tube.
Everybody was like: "Ooh, it's brains!"

Posted by: wth at May 23, 2019 05:44 PM (v0R5T)

224 "Some cop pulled up and asked my name. I started crying. He took me home. "

Had a friend - cop pulled up and asked him his ABC's - he sang them - it was the only way he could remember them - the cop cried - and then he took him to jail.

Cops are a lot different with college kids than elementary kids.

Posted by: Boswell at May 23, 2019 05:44 PM (32YRo)

225 I spent years with bush burns on both elbows and both knees from laying down my '50s standard sized Schwinn. Take a corner too fast and spin out. No knee pads, no elbow pads, no helmet. Wow!!! How did I survive?

Posted by: Captain Josepha Sabin at May 23, 2019 05:44 PM (tbEeC)

226 >>Bottle rocket and BB gun wars ftw.

Roman Candle Wars!

And, we had a game called 'Dart Tag'.

Man, those things hurt.

Posted by: garrett at May 23, 2019 05:44 PM (VzI4f)

227 Picking blackberries was the best. We called them dewberries. It was like free candy.

Posted by: Can't resist temptation

I remember that! Me and neighborhood kids/friends would go out into the wetlands/woods nearby (it's all long since developed into suburban housing now), explore around. Tadpoles! Blackberries destined for a cobbler! Trees and mud! All out all afternoon, just us, no adults. Cell phones were not An Thing. Just get home by dark, which we always did.

I miss those days, sometimes.

Posted by: Brother Cavil at May 23, 2019 05:44 PM (AM1GF)

228 196
I tell stories to my school kids sometimes. Like when you pick up a
green snake, hide it behind your back, and pull it out saying
"Surprise, Mom."

Do. Not. Do. That.

Posted by: NaCly Dog at May 23, 2019 05:39 PM (u82oZ)

yeah cousin and me stored a few snakes in my aunts washer.Don't do that either.

Posted by: Cannibal Bob at May 23, 2019 05:44 PM (7CM5W)

229 I was never in my home before dark as a kid. We rode bikes, played sports or hung out around the hill/train-tracks/pond by my home. And this was about 4 miles from downtown Houston.

Posted by: Dr Spank at May 23, 2019 05:44 PM (4e+hS)

230 150 When was that? And where? I'm trying to think if I saw that but it might have been during a time when I didn't live here.

Posted by: bluebell at May 23, 2019 05:35 PM (aXucN)

--------------------

It would have been the early 70's. When the mall opened, they had a number of large cages with birds in the section now called "Aviary Court". I don't think they were there more than 3 or 4 years.

Posted by: Hoplite Housewife at May 23, 2019 05:44 PM (XXNQ+)

231 Who needs friends when you have a dog?

Posted by: Marcus T at May 23, 2019 05:44 PM (mbcRt)

232 Two words: Sea Monkeys.

Posted by: Grump928(C) at May 23, 2019 05:44 PM (QCwhW)

233 I crashed on my Spree, major road rash on lower leg, hurt like a mofo. Showing mom poolside and my smart-ass brother says pool water will clean it up, and splashes me...I think I saw stars

Posted by: A dude in MI at May 23, 2019 05:44 PM (OOH1c)

234 I'm a member of the tribe, as a kid I went to a tribe private school. There was some incident and the school put up cameras everywhere. They didn't really mention it to us kids.

I had a habit of getting in trouble, and when I would have to go to principles office I would always make my way there like I was a spy. Sneaking around, crawling, hugging the walls, full on metal gear solid spy craft. I guess someone in the main office saw me one time, and they decided to set me up.

One day shortly after the cameras are put up, I'm called to the office. I proceed to go james bond as I make my way there. All is normal. The office is on one side of the school and the class I was in was on the other, so I have lots of real estate to cover.

The layout to get to the office involved going down corridors, finally at the last corridor you turned a corner and there was the office. The monitors to the cameras were in the front of the office, which meant everyone could see them.

Ok, so I go sneaking my way to the office. I get there, turn the corner, and what do I see? All the people had been watching me do the spy games. I was a star.

Posted by: DJ3WAY at May 23, 2019 05:45 PM (bhPL1)

235 Then there was the time we had a couple of beers and decided we could use aluminum snow saucers as Hoplite shields to block roman candle shots on the 4th of July.

You people are beginning to make me think I was way more reckless as a child than I thought I was.

Posted by: DamnedYankee at May 23, 2019 05:45 PM (37IEG)

236 Roman candle wars. Had one of those. And then the field sorta caught fire......

Posted by: Mr Aspirin Factory at May 23, 2019 05:45 PM (nDe2U)

237 >>Got you all beat. I was arrested when I was 2.

In his Defense - you can't prove that Hobo wasn't already on fire!

Posted by: garrett at May 23, 2019 05:45 PM (VzI4f)

238
remember pitting pennies on the railroad track to get them flattened and picking black berries from around the tracks. Great fun as a kid.
Posted by: Dr Spank
--

Speaking of trains, my grandparents lived a few miles away, both of us near the railroad tracks. The tracks were essentially a coupling area, where trains moved relatively slowly, and often empty boxcars were left open.

I think you know where this is going, and no, my parents never did find out how five year old me got to grandma's so fast.

Posted by: Vashta Nerada at May 23, 2019 05:45 PM (YslsA)

239 Was it here or somewhere else where I saw the story about a guy that fell into a one of those fold-up laundry racks, got trapped and died as a result of the struggle to free himself? Corner said something like, "Getting killed by a laundry rack is probably rarer than getting killed by lightning strike." Have to agree.
Posted by: Frankovich's Monster at May 23, 2019 05:41 PM (hdzef)

A kid in my school a few classes ahead got home one day and the house was locked. He tried to crawl into a window in the attached garage and it slammed shut on his neck and he eventually asphyxiated there after a while.

Posted by: hogmartin invites you to the Summer MIMoMe (link: nick) at May 23, 2019 05:45 PM (t+qrx)

240 Mud crater, about five feet deep, 15 feet wide. Fresh mud, really fine. Lobbed bricks into it for moonscape craters that held their shape. Zod shot puts a brick, friend decides to dash down and through it. Caught him right on the crown.

There was blood.

Posted by: Zod at May 23, 2019 05:45 PM (cKKn4)

241 i used to get so mad at my mom when she'd spank me, i came up with a brilliant plan. i was in my bathroom and poured a bunch of lavoris mouthwash into the sink, went and got her, showed her, and said, look what you did to me!

(i figured the lavoris would look like blood.)

she took one look and spanked me again.

Posted by: trapper's girl at May 23, 2019 05:45 PM (DGS6j)

242 I also had a friend who was a terrible influence on me and one day we went to the five and dime and shoplifted all kinds of stuff. I come home and start showing the babysitter all this stuff I "found". Damn I was stupid. Again my poor mom. She knew I was acting out over the divorce. She made me take it all back and tell them I stole it. Old guy was a sweetheart. He just said young lady I hope you never do this again. I was 9 years old I think.

Posted by: Jewells45 at May 23, 2019 05:45 PM (dUJdY)

243 I lived next to a bowling alley / bar growing up. These were the days of steel beer cans. The parking lot was always full of smashed beer cans that to a kid were perfect Chinese throwing stars. I still sport a couple of battle scars.

Posted by: Can't resist temptation at May 23, 2019 05:45 PM (iXJM1)

244 Snow forts were the best thing in winter and there were enough kids in our neighborhood to form teams. That's another word for opposing armies. We had tunnels, battlements, sniper holes and several armories to store snowball ammunition. And once the snow was packed down we didn't have to stand up to move. We could just slither around the fortifications on our bellies. These snowball wars could go on for hours. World War I trench warfare had nothing as good.

We had just two rules: no rocks in the snowballs and the snowballs had to be snow, not ice. That was after one kid caught one in the face. His bloody nose was 'memorable'. I won't say who threw it.

Posted by: JTB at May 23, 2019 05:46 PM (bmdz3)

245 I kid you not we had neighbor rock fights, and it wasn't for fun.

Posted by: Skip at May 23, 2019 05:46 PM (BbGew)

246 Methialade. The red shit. It burns like hell.
Posted by: Mr Aspirin Factory
--------

Mercurochrome, methiolate, iodine...they were all the badges of the wounded. And, all stung like hell.

I was always fascinated by the neon-like color of mercurochrome.

Posted by: Mike Hammer, etc., etc. at May 23, 2019 05:46 PM (CDGwz)

247

When I was in the second grade we were learning to tell time. We made clock faces with paper plates and paper hands attached to the clock face with a paper fastener - https://tinyurl.com/y2prrath

I took my clock home to practice and taped a six foot piece of string to the back of it. I took the other end of the string and tied it to another paper fastener. I spread the fastener's tines apart and plugged it into a 120 volt AC outlet in a failed attempt to make it an electric clock. ZAP

Posted by: Bertram Cabot, Jr. at May 23, 2019 05:46 PM (aKsyK)

248 Oh Ace...

I've had to rearrange all my ideas about you.

But this: "So I was stuck there for another half hour, again crying helplessly and pathetically like a Cuck at The Bulwark asking his Stallion to please stop making sex with his wife so hard."

This is pure poetry.

Posted by: Ladyl at May 23, 2019 05:46 PM (TdMsT)

249 I did the snow cave in a drift thing when I was a kid. I remember making all sorts of forts and tunnels that my dog and I would travel through. Some of the most fun I had as a kid. I loved snow. I hate it now but I live in a place where I shouldn't ever have to worry about it.

Posted by: bananadream at May 23, 2019 05:46 PM (YR7aL)

250 Hey, as a kid you probably saw those huge piles of leaves and thought "I bet those would totally break my fall if I dropped out of a tree on them!"

Fun fact - they don't, especially if you land flat on your back. First time I got the wind knocked out of me.

Posted by: Ostar at May 23, 2019 05:46 PM (gc83Y)

251 >>Bottle rocket and BB gun wars ftw.

>>No head shots.

At least someone remembered the rules.

Posted by: JackStraw at May 23, 2019 05:46 PM (/tuJf)

252 We had ore than one friend sporting a fake tooth or two from the Spetember/October Acorn Wars, too.

Posted by: garrett at May 23, 2019 05:46 PM (VzI4f)

253 my mom told when we moved to the house I grew up in, I fell down the stairs so many times my dad rebuilt to be a curving staircase
Posted by: vmom superior, order of sweet merciless ninjas at May 23, 2019 05:41 PM (dm05u)
---------

We have one of those (I fell down the other one) and I'm always cautious on it because the stairs are so narrow on the inside. When I'm walking down with a heavy load I'll actually lean on the wall by the wider side so I don't topple over.

I guess maybe I'm a Weeble.

Posted by: bluebell at May 23, 2019 05:47 PM (aXucN)

254 "Dogs are best people."

and also delicious.

Posted by: Barack Obama at May 23, 2019 05:47 PM (df+Zi)

255 Sounds lovely.

Posted by: Insomniac at May 23, 2019 05:42 PM (NWiLs)

Well its not like she stabbed me or anything. That was how much she cared man!*weeps*

Posted by: Cannibal Bob at May 23, 2019 05:48 PM (7CM5W)

256 I had a bike with monkey bars and a banana seat I rode it all over the city. My friend and I often rode to a wooded area, where it was always a fascination to find some type of dead animal being eaten by animals.

I also didn't live far from a private school. Occasionally we would sneak onto the grounds looking for stuff around the school's incinerator.

Posted by: N.L. Urker, champion of Urkers everywhere at May 23, 2019 05:48 PM (JgA4k)

257 TLDR version: Ace might - might be competent enough to hang himself, but not shelves.

Posted by: bear with asymmetrical balls at May 23, 2019 05:48 PM (8JE5H)

258 Yeah, WWII Army gear, we had all the basics my dad took with him. Helmet, backpack, canteen and carrier, web belt, entrenching tool, and some binoculars the family used for decades. One friend had a very cool WWII item, though, that would figure in our war-gaming: the swastika emblem from the rudder of an Me-1O9 his father had helped shoot down. Edges were quite dangerous, it had been cut out with bayonets, jagged and sharp.

Posted by: rhomboid at May 23, 2019 05:48 PM (QDnY+)

259 Again, Pacific Grove. I had two hamsters named Hamlet and Egglet. Took them to show and tell at school and they had babies in the classroom. Bunch of little pink babies.

Posted by: wth at May 23, 2019 05:48 PM (v0R5T)

260 96 53 Hoplite Housewife, I loved Farrell's too.

Posted by: bluebell at May 23, 2019 05:24 PM F

My brother would go to a different Farrell's with his friends once a season and say it was his birthday. But as a late teenager. Still, a tad embarrassing. He was the E in the family, the rest fo were the Is.

Farrell's put on a Big birthday show.

Posted by: NaCly Dog at May 23, 2019 05:48 PM (u82oZ)

261 On the snowbank thing....
At the Air Force Academy, the dorms are built in squares around a central open space* - and are 5 stories above ground in that space (though only 2 above the terrazzo, in between all the buildings, where all official stuff took place).
Well, in the winter of 1985, there was a big enough snowfall it closed the Academy for the second time in 30 years (at that point). Cadets went and worked in the chow hall so the rest could have food. Nobody went anywhere.

Well, that meant ~drifts~ in those central squares. And a bunch of college age people with possibly higher testosterone than normal (even the women), with NOTHING TO DO.

So, jump into the drifts they did. From the 3rd story and above.

Until one of them found the fire hydrant in one of the drifts.

(* Multiple squares per building, like window panes when seen from above. There are 2 dorms, on opposite sides of the terrazzo.)

Posted by: GWB at May 23, 2019 05:48 PM (PpL0X)

262 Got you all beat. I was arrested when I was 2. My brother (4) convinced me that it would be a good idea to throw rocks at a Cop car parked outside our fence."

Now that reminds me of my rock throwing episode. When I was and my brother was about 4, and our family and Grampa took a camping trip through Southern California - one night we were camped on the edge of the Mojave Desert, which is a really boring place for kids. We we were bugging Grampa who was trying to read in the shade, and finally he just said "Oh go throw rocks at each other!" (typical Grampa)

And we thought wow, that sounds like a Great Idea! There was an old dry wash nearby, and being the oldest, naturally I got to stand on the top of the wash and little bro had to stand down at the bottom, and we threw rocks at each other. I found some shiny big piece of quartz, and popped it right off the top of his noggin - boy, did he bleed! Like the proverbial stuck pig. So he goes running, screaming to mom and dad, blood streaming down his face (it was bad) shrieking "he hit me in the head with a rock!!!" and I was all set to be destroyed by Parental Wrath, but I blurted out "Well Grampa Told us to Do it!!!!" And my mom whirled towards her father and said "What the Heck did you say to them?"

and he just kind of sheepishly said "Well I didn't think they were really gonna do it." Bad Grampa got me off the hook, at least. But he was in the doghouse for a bit. (brother recovered quickly, btw, it was just a scalp thing the bled wildly for a bit)

Posted by: Tom Servo at May 23, 2019 05:48 PM (Kpl3J)

263 >>>236 Roman candle wars. Had one of those. And then the field sorta caught fire......

Yup! We didn't start a fire but we did have a roman candle fight. IT WAS GLORIOUS.

Summer, sun going down, sky glowing pale blue, zipping off rockets at each other...

Posted by: ace at May 23, 2019 05:48 PM (PbpT7)

264 >>>257 TLDR version: Ace might - might be competent enough to hang himself, but not shelves.
Posted by: bear with asymmetrical ball

The shelves are stocked with heavy books now AND YET THEY STAND!!!

Posted by: ace at May 23, 2019 05:49 PM (PbpT7)

265

Me, my brothers and our friends used to jump out of second story windows of houses being built, onto the pile of excavated dirt.

Posted by: Ladyl at May 23, 2019 05:49 PM (TdMsT)

266 I have zero nostalgia about childhood. Except the roller rinks. They had highly polished wood flooring so you could go really fast. Otherwise I'd just as soon cut out the entire portion of my brain responsible for storing those memories and set it on fire.

Posted by: Insomniac at May 23, 2019 05:49 PM (NWiLs)

267 You sound like Dennis the Menace, and your neighbor was Mr. Wilson. And I would like to meet your mom.

-------

She's pretty awesome. We're on a road trip right now

Posted by: Yudhishthira's Dice at May 23, 2019 05:49 PM (lalCH)

268 for all of the shelves, I had added an L-bracket near the middle, right on the stud. I didn't really trust those drywall anchors.

Posted by: ace at May 23, 2019 05:49 PM (PbpT7)

269 244 Snow forts were the best thing in winter and there were enough kids in our neighborhood to form teams. That's another word for opposing armies. We had tunnels, battlements, sniper holes and several armories to store snowball ammunition. And once the snow was packed down we didn't have to stand up to move. We could just slither around the fortifications on our bellies. These snowball wars could go on for hours. World War I trench warfare had nothing as good.

We had just two rules: no rocks in the snowballs and the snowballs had to be snow, not ice. That was after one kid caught one in the face. His bloody nose was 'memorable'. I won't say who threw it.
Posted by: JTB at May 23, 2019 05:46 PM (bmdz3)

There was a bunch of chestnut trees in my neighbourhood, so we had chestnut wars.

Posted by: N.L. Urker, champion of Urkers everywhere at May 23, 2019 05:49 PM (JgA4k)

270
The shelves are stocked with heavy books now AND YET THEY STAND!!!
Posted by: ace at May 23, 2019 05:49 PM (PbpT7)

The mind boggles.

Posted by: Ladyl at May 23, 2019 05:50 PM (TdMsT)

271 Fall, when a boys thoughts would turn to....
apple fights.

Posted by: DamnedYankee at May 23, 2019 05:50 PM (37IEG)

272 255 Sounds lovely.

Posted by: Insomniac at May 23, 2019 05:42 PM (NWiLs)

Well its not like she stabbed me or anything. That was how much she cared man!*weeps*
Posted by: Cannibal Bob at May 23, 2019 05:48 PM (7CM5W)

Sounds like Hallmark Movie material right there.

Posted by: Insomniac at May 23, 2019 05:50 PM (NWiLs)

273 My brother would go to a different Farrell's with his friends once a season and say it was his birthday. But as a late teenager. Still, a tad embarrassing. He was the E in the family, the rest fo were the Is.

Farrell's put on a Big birthday show. "

My Farrell's was at the intersection of Scottsdale Road and Indian School in downtown Scottsdale - lots of birthdays there! There's some big office building on that site now.

Pretty sure Farrell's is what's being parodied in Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventure, although they don't use the name. They take Napoleon there.

Posted by: Tom Servo at May 23, 2019 05:50 PM (Kpl3J)

274 225 I spent years with bush burns on both elbows and both knees from laying down my '50s standard sized Schwinn. Take a corner too fast and spin out. No knee pads, no elbow pads, no helmet. Wow!!! How did I survive?
Posted by: Captain Josepha Sabin at May 23, 2019 05:44 PM (tbEeC)

My biggest scrapes were from the time I climbed a pine tree, the kind with the sharp nubbles on it, and tried to hang from a branch with one hand. But, too big for that so down the tree, scraping my back the whole way. Or at least it seemed like the whole way.

Posted by: joncelli, because somebody had to at May 23, 2019 05:50 PM (RD7QR)

275 Had a friend - cop pulled up and asked him his ABC's - he sang them - it was the only way he could remember them - the cop cried - and then he took him to jail.
--------

My BIL was a town judge. He told me that the cops reported that inebriants often had to sing their ABC's.

Posted by: Mike Hammer, etc., etc. at May 23, 2019 05:50 PM (CDGwz)

276 >>Yup! We didn't start a fire but we did have a roman candle fight. IT WAS GLORIOUS.

We did that a lot. Good fun.

Then we burned a hillside down and there was fun no more.

Posted by: garrett at May 23, 2019 05:50 PM (VzI4f)

277 Roman candle wars were amazing.

Posted by: Dr Spank at May 23, 2019 05:50 PM (4e+hS)

278 236 Roman candle wars. Had one of those. And then the field sorta caught fire......

Owing to multiple incidents of pyrotechnics following unexpected and unfortunate trajectories, my friends do not allow me to handle fireworks any longer. This is for the best.

Posted by: Brother Cavil at May 23, 2019 05:50 PM (AM1GF)

279 Ace: "So, for childhood memories and nostalgia, I'll start..."

I knew I should've vetted my bloglist more thoroughly. I've been learning about the world from this guy?! Yikes. The only thing to do know is hang around for shelving advice.

Posted by: AnonyBotymousDrivel at May 23, 2019 05:51 PM (6eEQ+)

280 It would have been the early 70's. When the mall opened, they had a number of large cages with birds in the section now called "Aviary Court". I don't think they were there more than 3 or 4 years.
Posted by: Hoplite Housewife at May 23, 2019 05:44 PM (XXNQ+)
----------

Ah, we were living in California then. I do remember Aviary Court though, although I had no idea why it was called that. My first job was at Tyson's in high school.

Posted by: bluebell at May 23, 2019 05:51 PM (aXucN)

281 Otherwise I'd just as soon cut out the entire portion of my brain responsible for storing those memories and set it on fire.

Posted by: Insomniac at May 23, 2019 05:49 PM (NWiLs)

Match fight!

Posted by: Cannibal Bob at May 23, 2019 05:51 PM (7CM5W)

282 184 >> I do remember being absolutely bullet proof.

I remember the smell and the sting of bactine.
Posted by: garrett at May 23, 2019 05:39 PM (VzI4f)

Ditto! That stuff was like black magic.

We had real iodine for cuts too.

Posted by: Mark Andrew Edwards, Angry, Radical, Anti-Liberal, and Dangerous: buy ammo at May 23, 2019 05:52 PM (bcbK8)

283 My late wife had a horse, they called him Big Red. He was the biggest, meanest horse in their small farm town. Nobody would go near him, other than Faye and she rode him all over town.

I picture her riding a big horse all over heaven.

Posted by: N.L. Urker, champion of Urkers everywhere at May 23, 2019 05:52 PM (JgA4k)

284 281 Otherwise I'd just as soon cut out the entire portion of my brain responsible for storing those memories and set it on fire.

Posted by: Insomniac at May 23, 2019 05:49 PM (NWiLs)

Match fight!
Posted by: Cannibal Bob at May 23, 2019 05:51 PM (7CM5W)

What's a match fight?

Posted by: Insomniac at May 23, 2019 05:52 PM (NWiLs)

285 >> Fall, when a boys thoughts would turn to....
apple fights.

Early morning. Apple half eaten and filled with sluggish yellowjackets. An unsuspecting friend.

Good Times.

Posted by: garrett at May 23, 2019 05:52 PM (VzI4f)

286 @8 Dany burning Kings Landing

--------------------------
King's Landing was an inside job! Dragonfire can't burn stone!

(I saw this in a meme online, so it must be true)

Posted by: junior at May 23, 2019 05:52 PM (7nsa4)

287 Actually I had an awesome childhood but thinking about it is just going to make me miss my parents, and also realize how little I enjoy life now compared to that bright kid with a genuine zest for existence.

Posted by: Broseidon Czar of the Brocean at May 23, 2019 05:52 PM (V2hGB)

288 This is an odd thing:

One, I was in the middle of a thundersnow -- a snowfall with lightning. Which is pretty rare.

We were enjoying the weird weather.

But then the stakes go up: A huge stroke of lightning hit a manhole cover not 20 feet from us, just in the street we were on, and sent it flying ten feet into the air.

Posted by: ace at May 23, 2019 05:52 PM (PbpT7)

289 for all of the shelves, I had added an L-bracket near the middle, right on the stud. I didn't really trust those drywall anchors.

Posted by: ace
-------

It's not the anchors, it's the pull-out resistance of the drywall. I mean, it's just paper-faced gypsum.

Posted by: Mike Hammer, etc., etc. at May 23, 2019 05:52 PM (CDGwz)

290 When I was in 4th grade, my sister had to get braces. My mother dragged me to the appointment after school the day she was to get them rigged and I was giving her crap non-stop.

After the appointment orthodontist walked her out to the waiting room, took one look at me and bam, braces. Self owned.

I got my revenge a few years later when I decided my teeth were straight enough and took them off with a pair of vice grips. The response was swift.

Posted by: JackStraw at May 23, 2019 05:52 PM (/tuJf)

291 Ace, I could never figure out why you fast. For days on end! But after reading the rope-elevator-tree story, I think I'm starting to understand.

Posted by: NavyMom at May 23, 2019 05:53 PM (HGZyc)

292 Conneaut Lake Park. Used to go there as a kid. The Blue Steak (one of the last wooden roller coasters still operational), an awesome arcade room, the Ultimate Trip (a spinny ride in a big dark room with flashing lights and loud rock music), ancient bumper cars, and other rides. Good times!

A few years ago, I wanted to see if it still existed. It does, barely. It looks like it's stuck in 1983, which is a good thing. They have had to sell some property to survive but they have survived. It's an old school amusement park in NW PA. Some of the old rides are still there and operational. Nice memories there.

Posted by: Puddleglum at May 23, 2019 05:53 PM (y0y19)

293 Mercurochrome. Monkey blood. Administered with a glass rod. No thanks, I'll just let it bleed for a while.

Posted by: Duke Lowell at May 23, 2019 05:53 PM (gC2IV)

294 The best part is we're reminding each other of all the fun loving kid shit we did that we've forgotten

And not a safe space in sight.

Posted by: DamnedYankee at May 23, 2019 05:53 PM (37IEG)

295 260 My brother would go to a different Farrell's with his friends once a
season and say it was his birthday. But as a late teenager. Still, a
tad embarrassing. He was the E in the family, the rest fo were the Is.

Farrell's put on a Big birthday show.

Posted by: NaCly Dog at May 23, 2019 05:48 PM (u82oZ)

----------
Oh, yes! That was the big joke the kids would play on one another. Tell the staff it was an unsuspecting friend's birthday. I can't imagine how sick the workers were of those antics.

Posted by: Hoplite Housewife at May 23, 2019 05:53 PM (XXNQ+)

296 We lived on the top of a hill that led up to Sunshine Canyon. The street was divided w/islands of grass and two rows of giant maple trees - 6 blocks of this divided street. We liked to go to higher end of this street on our 10-speed biked, peddle as hard as we could down the first block and then shift position so that we balanced on our stomachs on the bicycle seat, legs stretched out horizontally behind us so that it felt like flying, superman style. Somehow none of us ever crashed or got hurt.

Posted by: Lizzy at May 23, 2019 05:53 PM (W+vEI)

297 There was blood.

Posted by: Zod at May 23, 2019 05:45 PM (cKKn4)
........

Zod lobbing bricks into a mud crater. OK.
Question is: what made the crater? Artillery fire?

Posted by: wth at May 23, 2019 05:53 PM (v0R5T)

298 266 I have zero nostalgia about childhood. Except the roller rinks. They had highly polished wood flooring so you could go really fast. Otherwise I'd just as soon cut out the entire portion of my brain responsible for storing those memories and set it on fire.

Posted by: Insomniac at May 23, 2019 05:49 PM (NWiLs)

Your childhood memories would have been so much better and more satisfying if you could have made your siblings bleed several times. I know mine are.

Posted by: Tom Servo at May 23, 2019 05:54 PM (Kpl3J)

299 I picture her riding a big horse all over heaven.

I'm sure she is doing all the things she loved to do.

Posted by: Jewells45 at May 23, 2019 05:54 PM (dUJdY)

300 Because some people are hypersensitive retards.

Posted by: Insomniac at May 23, 2019 05:27 PM (NWiLs)

Egad, the motto for our age.
(And I love the use of the last word. A little elbow in the kidney as you walk by.)

Posted by: GWB at May 23, 2019 05:54 PM (PpL0X)

301 Stevie Greenberg is STILL making a living off of Funkytown. Funny thing is he is the least talented musician of Lipps Inc.

Posted by: Truck Monkey at May 23, 2019 05:55 PM (flINI)

302 I grew up as the only white kid in a black neighborhood. We would play hide and seek only they called it Hidenbebo. You would hide and the seeker would yell out Hidenbebo are you ready.

Anyway fast forward 20 years later and my black coworker / good friend and I are talking about growing up black and I ask him if he played Hidenbebo as a kid . He looked at me and said ' are you trying to say 'hiding people' ?

I swear I never realized that's what was being said. We had a pretty good laugh about it.

Posted by: Can't resist temptation at May 23, 2019 05:55 PM (iXJM1)

303 Its posts like this that make me love Ace and this blog! Lol

Posted by: Lee (lurker) at May 23, 2019 05:55 PM (yNghn)

304 I remember the smell and the sting of bactine.
Posted by: garrett
--------

Bactine?!

Heck, the beauty of that was that it didn't sting at all, now tincture of iodine, that's the stuff of the boy-to-man transition.

Posted by: Mike Hammer, etc., etc. at May 23, 2019 05:55 PM (CDGwz)

305 But then the stakes go up: A huge stroke of lightning hit a manhole cover not 20 feet from us, just in the street we were on, and sent it flying ten feet into the air.

---

Coooooool!

Posted by: All Hail Eris, Literate Savage at May 23, 2019 05:55 PM (kQs4Y)

306 I got my revenge a few years later when I decided my teeth were straight enough and took them off with a pair of vice grips. The response was swift.
Posted by: JackStraw at May 23, 2019 05:52 PM (/tuJf)
------------

And Draconian, I hope.

Posted by: bluebell at May 23, 2019 05:55 PM (aXucN)

307 Thank you Rageaholic

https://tinyurl.com/yyf3x6gw

Posted by: MAGA at May 23, 2019 05:56 PM (I5LRE)

308 287 Actually I had an awesome childhood but thinking about it is just going to make me miss my parents, and also realize how little I enjoy life now compared to that bright kid with a genuine zest for existence.
Posted by: Broseidon Czar of the Brocean at May 23, 2019 05:52 PM (V2hGB)

I'm glad for the first part. I pretty much didn't want to be alive when I was a kid. I am sorry about the second part. Nobody ever teaches us how to be happy.

Posted by: Insomniac at May 23, 2019 05:56 PM (NWiLs)

309 297 There was blood.

Posted by: Zod at May 23, 2019 05:45 PM (cKKn4)
........

Zod lobbing bricks into a mud crater. OK.
Question is: what made the crater? Artillery fire?
Posted by: wth at May 23, 2019 05:53 PM (v0R5T)

Zod's arrival on earth happened at high velocity.

Posted by: Mark Andrew Edwards, Angry, Radical, Anti-Liberal, and Dangerous: buy ammo at May 23, 2019 05:56 PM (bcbK8)

310 >>Heck, the beauty of that was that it didn't sting at all, now tincture of iodine, that's the stuff of the boy-to-man transition.

Grandfather once 'Cured' my Poison Ivy by shaving the blisters with a knife and pouring bleach on it.

That stung a bit.

Posted by: garrett at May 23, 2019 05:56 PM (VzI4f)

311 Fell down a spillway from the lake into the creek. It had two levels so I kinda leveled out but couldn't stop myself before the second drop. Heard my cousin and friends laughing like crazy the whole time. The lifeguard rubbed my scrapes with iodine ....like really hard.

Posted by: Cannibal Bob at May 23, 2019 05:56 PM (7CM5W)

312 72 *looks at missing finger tip*

Yeah, remember reel mowers?

Don't flip one on its back, spin the wheel to get the blade reel going, and try to use it as a small wood chipper.
Posted by: Bert G at May 23, 2019

*also looking at missing fingertips*

Don't attempt to ride the garage door down like an elevator, because the joints between the panels that you are using as a hand-hold close with a lot of force as the door becomes vertical.

Posted by: Dick Poulin at May 23, 2019 05:56 PM (Cozcj)

313 W7VOA's avatar
Steve Herman
@W7VOA
Comey, McCabe "and probably people higher than that," @POTUS specifies in response to reporter asking him to specify who committed treason.

Posted by: Deep State is In DEEP SHIT at May 23, 2019 05:56 PM (BqBId)

314 I once Mary Poppinsed myself out of a tree. Knocked the wind right out of me. Never trusted the bitch after that.

Posted by: flounder, rebel, vulgarian, deplorable, winner at May 23, 2019 05:56 PM (t6MX/)

315 306
I got my revenge a few years later when I decided my teeth were straight
enough and took them off with a pair of vice grips. The response was
swift.

Posted by: JackStraw at May 23, 2019 05:52 PM (/tuJf)

------------

And Draconian, I hope.

Posted by: bluebell at May 23, 2019 05:55 PM (aXucN)
My youngest pried his out with a table fork. All we could do was laugh.

Posted by: DamnedYankee at May 23, 2019 05:57 PM (37IEG)

316 NYU Graduation Speaker Calls Trump "Fascist," Goes On Anti-Israel Tirade

-
I think this is a good time to remind you that these increasing attacks on Jews are Trump's fault because he hates Jews.

Posted by: Anonosaurus Wrecks, Tyrannosaur Wrangler at May 23, 2019 05:57 PM (+y/Ru)

317 Mercurochrome. Monkey blood. Administered with a glass rod. No thanks, I'll just let it bleed for a while.
Posted by: Duke Lowell at May 23, 2019 05:53 PM (gC2IV)
----------

And that brick red color would last for days and days.

Posted by: bluebell at May 23, 2019 05:57 PM (aXucN)

318 I used to have roman candle wars with my boy cousins and my brother on the beach in the summertime.

epic.

we used to catch dogfish in the Sound, stuff M80s in their mouths, light em up and throw the fish back in the water.

we were awful children

Posted by: nurse ratched at May 23, 2019 05:57 PM (d7Ww2)

319 307 Thank you Rageaholic

https://tinyurl.com/yyf3x6gw
Posted by: MAGA at May 23, 2019 05:56 PM (I5LRE)

That is also a happy memory

Posted by: Mark Andrew Edwards, Angry, Radical, Anti-Liberal, and Dangerous: buy ammo at May 23, 2019 05:57 PM (bcbK8)

320 Mercurochrome. Monkey blood. Administered with a glass rod. No thanks, I'll just let it bleed for a while.
Posted by: Duke Lowell
--------

My mother was an RN. All wounds received maximum attention, with attendant 'Ow!, Ow!, Ow!' Ow!' from me.

Posted by: Mike Hammer, etc., etc. at May 23, 2019 05:58 PM (CDGwz)

321 Childhood memories. My favorite was when I was 10-13
yrs old. Navy family, the last 3 years before my dad retired we were
stationed on Adak, Alaska. For a kid it was the best damn place to be.
Every day was an adventure.

Posted by: Bosk at May 23, 2019 05:30 PM (9m9TT)

I was station station there at the Marine Barracks

Posted by: Flawless Male Logic at May 23, 2019 05:34 PM

---

I spent almost 4 years there. 81-84.

Posted by: The Great White Scotsman at May 23, 2019 05:58 PM (JUOKG)

322 Your childhood memories would have been so much better and more satisfying if you could have made your siblings bleed several times. I know mine are.
Posted by: Tom Servo at May 23, 2019 05:54 PM (Kpl3J)

Probably. Many was the time when I should've punched my asshole younger brother in the face. However, he was a one-man protected class growing up, and I didn't want to get the inevitable beating from my parents.

Posted by: Insomniac at May 23, 2019 05:58 PM (NWiLs)

323 I've take out my own stiches but teeth braces?

Posted by: Skip at May 23, 2019 05:58 PM (BbGew)

324 Did a lot of War with dirt clod fights. But what I remember was taking my Revell ship models to the dump, and sinking them in their pond. When BBs were too slow, well there was a lot of junk around. KaBoom!

Maybe why I was a Damage Control Assistant for a while. Penance.

Posted by: NaCly Dog at May 23, 2019 05:59 PM (u82oZ)

325 merthiolate or iodine, that's the choice my mom made when we had cuts and abrasions

Posted by: vmom superior, order of sweet merciless ninjas at May 23, 2019 05:59 PM (dm05u)

326 >>I've take out my own stiches but teeth braces?

I disassembled and removed my braces, too.

Fucking things hurt.

Posted by: garrett at May 23, 2019 05:59 PM (VzI4f)

327 of course first had to be cleaned with rubbing alcohol

Posted by: vmom superior, order of sweet merciless ninjas at May 23, 2019 06:00 PM (dm05u)

328 MUMR threadwinner @320?

Posted by: flounder, rebel, vulgarian, deplorable, winner at May 23, 2019 06:00 PM (t6MX/)

329 I remember riding my Schwinn stingray with the ape hanger handlebar down the road, and I saw some girl across the street and was watching her, and was watching her so much I rode full speed into the back of a parked car. Ooh, that handlebar with the iron pipe in the middle - I think that was the first time I totally pulverized my nads. I crawled over into the nearest yard and must have laid there 15 minutes before I even tried to stand up.

Posted by: Tom Servo at May 23, 2019 06:00 PM (Kpl3J)

330 Pro tip: Dirt bombs (clods) are best when dry - 'smoke'.

Posted by: DamnedYankee at May 23, 2019 06:00 PM (37IEG)

331 "or all of the shelves, I had added an L-bracket near the middle, right
on the stud. I didn't really trust those drywall anchors"

thank God, now I can sleep more peacefully ... I was so worried about you depending on those drywall anchors. (/semi-sarc)

Posted by: illiniwek at May 23, 2019 06:00 PM (Cus5s)

332 The smells of childhood:

Plasti-Goop
Bactine
Crayons
Bug spray
Rubber cement (I was a crafty kid)
Caps from cap pistols
Coppertone

Posted by: All Hail Eris, Literate Savage at May 23, 2019 06:00 PM (kQs4Y)

333
Grandfather once 'Cured' my Poison Ivy by shaving the blisters with a knife and pouring bleach on it.

That stung a bit.
Posted by: garrett
----------

Folk remedies are always the best...well, sometimes.

Posted by: Mike Hammer, etc., etc. at May 23, 2019 06:00 PM (CDGwz)

334 Oh I tore my own braces off too.

Posted by: Broseidon Czar of the Brocean at May 23, 2019 06:01 PM (V2hGB)

335 we used to catch dogfish in the Sound, stuff M80s in their mouths, light em up and throw the fish back in the water.

we were awful children

Posted by: nurse ratched at May 23, 2019 05:57 PM (d7Ww2)
........

My younger brother used to sneak into peoples yards in the middle of the night, tape an M80 onto their sliding glass door, light and RUN.
Sheer destruction and chaos all for a chuckle.

Posted by: wth at May 23, 2019 06:01 PM (v0R5T)

336 What's a match fight?

Posted by: Insomniac at May 23, 2019 05:52 PM (NWiLs)

Get a book of matches and as you light it you throw towards someone. They did the same thing. Big fun on bare torso. .

Posted by: Cannibal Bob at May 23, 2019 06:01 PM (7CM5W)

337 82
anyone remember Nilsson's "The Point"

the story of Oblio and his dog Arrow?

being banished to the Pointless Forrest?

yes nurse. i dojust bought the dvd for the grandkids(narrated by ringo starr)

Posted by: kactus at May 23, 2019 06:01 PM (HIasT)

338 What's a match fight?

Posted by: Insomniac at May 23, 2019 05:52 PM (NWiLs)

There are two kinds...one with wooden matches, in which you simply flick them across the lighting strip at your adversary, and the second with cardboard matches in which you flick it across the lighting strip with the pad of your finger, risking a burn if it sticks.

You win if you get the match down somebody;s shirt.

Posted by: CharlieBrown'sDildo at May 23, 2019 06:01 PM (wYseH)

339 I envy people who had siblings gowing up. My brother didn't come along til I was 13. Mom had a built in babysitter.

Posted by: Jewells45 at May 23, 2019 06:01 PM (dUJdY)

340
NYU Graduation Speaker Calls Trump "Fascist," Goes On Anti-Israel Tirade

I read today that the great grandaughter of the man who founded NYU's music school refused their letter of acceptance because of the rabid ant-semitism at the school

Posted by: Flawless Male Logic at May 23, 2019 06:01 PM (TAmPV)

341 337 What's a match fight?

Posted by: Insomniac at May 23, 2019 05:52 PM (NWiLs)

Get a book of matches and as you light it you throw towards someone. They did the same thing. Big fun on bare torso. .
Posted by: Cannibal Bob at May 23, 2019 06:01 PM (7CM5W)

OK then.

Posted by: Insomniac at May 23, 2019 06:01 PM (NWiLs)

342 >>>I remember riding my Schwinn stingray with the ape hanger handlebar down the road, and I saw some girl across the street and was watching her, and was watching her so much I rode full speed into the back of a parked car.

I did this too. I flipped over the trunk and rolled on to the ground.

The detail I remember from this is this older teenager who saw me do this. He just said, "Wow, what a zonk."

That just sticks out in my mind. "Wow, what a zonk."

Posted by: ace at May 23, 2019 06:01 PM (PbpT7)

343 Apple fights.

We had mulberry fights. Neighbors had mulberry trees, which us kids treated like community property (which I'm sure the neighbors just loved). Good thing we didn't own expensive clothes.

Posted by: bear with asymmetrical balls at May 23, 2019 06:02 PM (8JE5H)

344 I don't even know what "zonk" meant there -- was "zonk" the collision, or was *I* the zonk?

What's a zonk?

Posted by: ace at May 23, 2019 06:02 PM (PbpT7)

345 The smells of childhood:

Plasti-Goop
Bactine
Crayons
Bug spray
Rubber cement (I was a crafty kid)
Caps from cap pistols
Coppertone

Posted by: All Hail Eris, Literate Savage at May 23, 2019 06:00 PM (kQs4Y)
........

Vomit

Posted by: wth at May 23, 2019 06:02 PM (v0R5T)

346 I was always fascinated by the neon-like color of mercurochrome.

In my Boy Scout troop everyone's first year at summer camp was denoted by having their earlobes painted with mercurochrome.

Posted by: Bert G at May 23, 2019 06:02 PM (OMsf+)

347 >>And Draconian, I hope.

The punishment fit the crime although I think a big part of my dad was ok with not writing anymore checks.

Posted by: JackStraw at May 23, 2019 06:02 PM (/tuJf)

348 Brave Sir Robin: "Builder toys, what is best?
Lincoln logs
Erector set
Tinker toys
Lego"

Never had erector set, so no opinion there.

Lincoln logs tried a couple times. Boring, too limited unless you had enough material and space to build, well, a genuine house.

Tinker toys were OK. Built a good number of modern art pieces that took up too much space.

Lego was the best. Could build and modify just about anything and that was even before the customized molds of unique, single-purpose parts. Played with those for years and they were just about indestructible. Great "toy".

Posted by: AnonyBotymousDrivel at May 23, 2019 06:02 PM (6eEQ+)

349 Get a book of matches and as you light it you throw towards someone. They did the same thing. Big fun on bare torso. .
Posted by: Cannibal Bob at May 23, 2019 06:01 PM (7CM5W)

oh
we used to have contests of who could hold a burning match longest

also the game where you pass your finger through a candle flame

Posted by: vmom superior, order of sweet merciless ninjas at May 23, 2019 06:02 PM (dm05u)

350 I had an Schwin 10 speed growing up that was fairly tough considering I was treating as an off road dirt bike and It most certainly wasn't.

Posted by: Puddleglum at May 23, 2019 06:02 PM (y0y19)

351 All you guys who took off your braces yourselves - you're lucky you weren't my kids. I'd have throttled you. Or sent you over to Ace's to play.

Posted by: bluebell at May 23, 2019 06:03 PM (aXucN)

352 >>Folk remedies are always the best...well, sometimes.

He made a point of pointing out the Milk Weed but assured me that it was for 'Injuns and Pussies'.

Posted by: garrett at May 23, 2019 06:03 PM (VzI4f)

353 339
What's a match fight?

Posted by: Insomniac at May 23, 2019 05:52 PM (NWiLs)

There
are two kinds...one with wooden matches, in which you simply flick them
across the lighting strip at your adversary, and the second with
cardboard matches in which you flick it across the lighting strip with
the pad of your finger, risking a burn if it sticks.

You win if you get the match down somebody;s shirt.

Posted by: CharlieBrown'sDildo at May 23, 2019 06:01 PM (wYseH)
There's a third way - but can't do it nowadays because, you know matches that set things on fire are bad!
Get old strike anywhere matches and flick em at an angle across the pavement. Takes some practice but hell, there's a lot in a box and we didn't pay for em!

Posted by: DamnedYankee at May 23, 2019 06:03 PM (37IEG)

354 It is a miracle that any human beings live long enough to procreate.

Proof that a loving G-d, Who also happens to have a pretty good sense of humor, exists.

Posted by: Sharkman at May 23, 2019 06:03 PM (fdxBF)

355 I used to throw butcher knives in the garage. Fir some reason, I was very good at it. Nearly all the jknives went in, and at the right spot.

Eventually, my mother (who worked) found out I was doing this, totally freaked out, and put an end to it.

To this day, I don't understand what was wrong with it.

Posted by: Jeanie Summers at May 23, 2019 06:03 PM (kPk9Q)

356 Posted by: All Hail Eris, Literate Savage at May 23, 2019 06:00 PM (kQs4Y)

Burning plastic from setting plastic soldiers on fire and dripping the hot liquid on bugs.

Posted by: Cannibal Bob at May 23, 2019 06:03 PM (7CM5W)

357 Grandfather once 'Cured' my Poison Ivy by shaving the blisters with a knife and pouring bleach on it.

Oh. My. God.

Posted by: Jewells45 at May 23, 2019 06:04 PM (dUJdY)

358 This is my name. Signed in wrong.

Posted by: Alana at May 23, 2019 06:04 PM (kPk9Q)

359 My favorite childhood smell is baking Creepy Crawlers.

Posted by: Broseidon Czar of the Brocean at May 23, 2019 06:04 PM (V2hGB)

360 Rehashing yesterday's Oval Office meeting, Trump refers to Schumer as "Cryin' Chuck." Calls Pelosi "Crazy Nancy." Adds "I've been watching her for long time. She's not the same person. She's lost it."

-
Cryin' Chuck and Crazy Nancy. I think I saw that movie. Two violent bank robbers in the '30s?

Posted by: Anonosaurus Wrecks, Tyrannosaur Wrangler at May 23, 2019 06:04 PM (+y/Ru)

361 At least someone remembered the rules.

Posted by: JackStraw

We used to use the PVC piping from the house construction next door for the bottle rocket wars - roman candles were forbidden after some wimpy kid got burned

Posted by: Boswell at May 23, 2019 06:05 PM (32YRo)

362 zonk

INFORMAL
verb
1.
hit or strike.
"Charley really zonked me"

i've never heard it used as the noun what A zonk.

Either before or since.

Posted by: ace at May 23, 2019 06:05 PM (PbpT7)

363 There's a gender thing going on here...

Most of the 'ette stories are of the accident kind, i.e. I kept falling down the stairs.

While the morons stories are the, 'I took a running leap and thought I could....' or the 'We jumped of the roof thinking...'.

Posted by: Tami at May 23, 2019 06:05 PM (cF8AT)

364 284 281 Otherwise I'd just as soon cut out the entire portion of my brain responsible for storing those memories and set it on fire.

Posted by: Insomniac at May 23, 2019 05:49 PM (NWiLs)

Match fight!
Posted by: Cannibal Bob at May 23, 2019 05:51 PM (7CM5W)

What's a match fight?
Posted by: Insomniac at May 23, 2019 05:52 PM (NWiLs)

Basically it's throwing lit matches at each other.

I had cousins that would do it.

Posted by: Mark Andrew Edwards, Angry, Radical, Anti-Liberal, and Dangerous: buy ammo at May 23, 2019 06:05 PM (bcbK8)

365 Burning plastic from setting plastic soldiers on fire and dripping the hot liquid on bugs.
Posted by: Cannibal Bob at May 23, 2019 06:03 PM (7CM5W)

The smell of newly-opened plastic toys in the first place. It's probably carcinogenic.

Posted by: hogmartin invites you to the Summer MIMoMe (link: nick) at May 23, 2019 06:05 PM (t+qrx)

366 352
All you guys who took off your braces yourselves - you're lucky you
weren't my kids. I'd have throttled you. Or sent you over to Ace's to
play.

Posted by: bluebell at May 23, 2019 06:03 PM (aXucN)

..and starve.

Posted by: Cannibal Bob at May 23, 2019 06:05 PM (7CM5W)

367 I can't be the first one to think that Assange's indictment is a precurser similar charges being filed against some of our "venerable" "news" outlets and their treasonous sources who just spent 3 years publishing classified info to try to get Trump.

Posted by: Sharkman at May 23, 2019 06:05 PM (fdxBF)

368 To this day, I don't understand what was wrong with it.
Posted by: Jeanie Summers at May 23, 2019 06:03 PM (kPk9Q)
-----------

Either she thought you were training for a career in the circus or you were damaging her good knives.

Posted by: bluebell at May 23, 2019 06:05 PM (aXucN)

369 Grandfather once 'Cured' my Poison Ivy by shaving the blisters with a knife and pouring bleach on it.

Then he added Leaches?

Posted by: Puddleglum at May 23, 2019 06:06 PM (y0y19)

370 Oh I tore my own braces off too.

Posted by: Broseidon Czar of the Brocean at May 23, 2019 06:01 PM (V2hGB)

I swear I thought I was the only person who did that!

Posted by: CharlieBrown'sDildo at May 23, 2019 06:06 PM (wYseH)

371 Bosk, Flawless Male Logic, The Great White Scotsman

Adak. I was never there, but that was my Dad's first real duty station. In 1947-1949. He told us kids a lot of stories.

Like the Woman behind every tree in the National Forest.
Lugging a Bar and ammo on the self-defense drills.
Knocking cockroaches onto each other in the Quonset huts.
Replacing a pillow with a rock for someone who threw himself asleep.
When dogs were outlawed on the main road of the Station. And the MAA sent out to shoot a dog. Only one was not kept indoors, looked pathetic, and the crusty MAA adopted it.

My favorite was the time the command wanted to raise low morale, so they imported a lot of fireworks for the Fourth. But given the cloud ceiling, not such a good idea. The fireworks went into the clouds, turning the cloud underbelly with tints of color. Morale sank more.

Posted by: NaCly Dog at May 23, 2019 06:06 PM (u82oZ)

372 While the morons stories are the, 'I took a running leap and thought I could....' or the 'We jumped of the roof thinking...'.

Posted by: Tami at May 23, 2019 06:05 PM (cF8AT)

Now its "hold my beer."

Posted by: Cannibal Bob at May 23, 2019 06:06 PM (7CM5W)

373 349
Brave Sir Robin: "Builder toys, what is best?

Lincoln logs

Erector set

Tinker toys

Lego"

Never had erector set, so no opinion there.

Lincoln logs tried a couple times. Boring, too limited unless you had enough material and space to build, well, a genuine house.

Tinker toys were OK. Built a good number of modern art pieces that took up too much space.

Lego was the best. Could build and modify just about anything and
that was even before the customized molds of unique, single-purpose
parts. Played with those for years and they were just about
indestructible. Great "toy".

Posted by: AnonyBotymousDrivel at May 23, 2019 06:02 PM (6eEQ+)
I think it's good practice for kids to understand building things.
Do they even make wooden blocks any more? The ones that were color coded - blues were the shortest, red was double that length, I think yellow equaled 2 reds, and there were arches, and little eyelid pieces that fit in the arch. Anyone else?

Posted by: DamnedYankee at May 23, 2019 06:06 PM (37IEG)

374 anyone remember Nilsson's "The Point"?
---

I love this little movie so much!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z5y6L6He8Bo

I miss the tripadelic animation of yesteryear.

Posted by: All Hail Eris, Literate Savage at May 23, 2019 06:06 PM (kQs4Y)

375 No fart lighting yet?
Fart lighting.

Posted by: navybrat, sometime commentater at May 23, 2019 06:07 PM (w7KSn)

376 Sitting on a curb with a hammer and rolls of caps. You could either hit the caps one at a time or stand a single roll up and try to explode all of them with one swing.

Yeah, we all had cap guns those days. We also had candy cigarettes. And metal roller skates you fitted to your shoes using a skate key. And then you skated up and down the street without knee pads, elbow pads, or helmets.

Posted by: Captain Josepha Sabin at May 23, 2019 06:07 PM (tbEeC)

377 360 My favorite childhood smell is baking Creepy Crawlers.

Posted by: Broseidon Czar of the Brocean at May 23, 2019 06:04 PM (V2hGB)

Ok, who among us didn't just have the exact olfactory sense of this?

Posted by: Tami at May 23, 2019 06:07 PM (cF8AT)

378 It is a miracle that any human beings live long enough to procreate.

-
That's why we bubblewrap our kids these days.

Posted by: Anonosaurus Wrecks, Tyrannosaur Wrangler at May 23, 2019 06:07 PM (+y/Ru)

379 We had a Korean kid in our class whose mom must have washed his clothes in Diesel or some shit. Everything he wore would take to flame pretty readily.

That poor kid was always having matches shot at him. If you hit him square, he'd light up like a StuntMan!

Posted by: garrett at May 23, 2019 06:07 PM (VzI4f)

380 Oh, did I mention wooden blocks make great projectiles when your parents have gone out for the evening?

Posted by: DamnedYankee at May 23, 2019 06:07 PM (37IEG)

381 When I was eleven or so my best friend and I were walking home from school. We used to go to this little store called Murrish Market to get atomic fire bombs, licorice and soda. It had a little single gas pump out front. On the ground in front of it was this particular day was a little black leather pouch. We were thinking cash and I remember yelling "I saw it first!"

Not wanting to be seen going through it we took it off to a field. Inside were these little packets of white powder. At first we were puzzled (and disappointed with no cash). Then afraid we'd be caught with it and taken to jail. So we took it home and my mom called the police. We were scared whoever lost it would seek us out and take revenge so the sheriff assured us we had done the right thing and that nobody would know. Of course we were worried someone might have seen us pick it up.

Anyway it turned out to be about $2500 worth of crank and us turning it in ended with a little blurb in the local paper about two civic minded youths and their good deed.

Think I still have that clipping somewhere.

Posted by: Wonkish Rogue at May 23, 2019 06:07 PM (BRpqW)

382 At age 6 I was bugging my brother to teach me to swim

He picked me up and threw me in the deep end of the pool and said SWIM!

I learned to doggy paddle real fast.

Posted by: Ben Had at May 23, 2019 06:07 PM (G8B4j)

383 I always liked Cliff Richard even if he is a pederast.....

Posted by: Hairyback Guy at May 23, 2019 06:08 PM (e+rs5)

384 Two words: Dirt clod fights.

Posted by: BackwardsBoy says #PurgeProgressivismBAMN at May 23, 2019 06:08 PM (HaL55)

385 All the fill dirt from the neighborhood used to get dumped across the street down a hillside. After lot of rain this became a mudslide. Brother walked across. Irish Setter walked across. I got stuck. Sinking up to my knees with both feet. You know you're really stuck when your dog won't let you climb out on him because you're pushing him in. Brother got neighbor with a rope. I helped him paver his driveway later.

Posted by: DaveA at May 23, 2019 06:08 PM (FhXTo)

386 You'd think an ewok would be better at trees and vines and stuff....

Posted by: Warai-otoko at May 23, 2019 06:08 PM (SQnMp)

387 Brave Sir Robin: "Builder toys, what is best?
Lincoln logs
Erector set
Tinker toys
Lego"

Never had erector set, so no opinion there.
----------

Erector, hands down. Even as we speak, there are some Erector parts on the kitchen counter. I'm pondering (for fun) an O-gauge model of the Florida East Coast bascule bridge at Jacksonville.

Over the years, I must have modeled or made a dozen mechanical devices using Erector parts.

Posted by: Mike Hammer, etc., etc. at May 23, 2019 06:08 PM (xSo9G)

388 359 This is my name. Signed in wrong.
Posted by: Alana at May 23, 2019 06:04 PM (kPk9Q)

These things happen

Posted by: Mark Andrew Edwards, Angry, Radical, Anti-Liberal, and Dangerous: buy ammo at May 23, 2019 06:08 PM (bcbK8)

389 >>He picked me up and threw me in the deep end of the pool and said SWIM!

Heh -

Dad. Dock. Lake.

Posted by: garrett at May 23, 2019 06:08 PM (VzI4f)

390 Add to the smells of childhood - mimeograph ink

Posted by: Hoplite Housewife at May 23, 2019 06:08 PM (XXNQ+)

391 And metal roller skates you fitted to your shoes using a skate key. And then you skated up and down the street without knee pads, elbow pads, or helmets.
Posted by: Captain Josepha Sabin at May 23, 2019 06:07 PM (tbEeC)

I had skis and poles that we got at a garage sale, but the boots were long gone. I had to get really creative with the bindings.

Posted by: hogmartin invites you to the Summer MIMoMe (link: nick) at May 23, 2019 06:09 PM (t+qrx)

392 Get a book of matches and as you light it you throw towards someone. They did the same thing. Big fun on bare torso. .

Posted by: Cannibal Bob at May 23, 2019 06:01 PM (7CM5W)
...........

YOU'RE GOING TO PUT SOMEONE'S EYE OUT

Posted by: Bob's Mom at May 23, 2019 06:09 PM (v0R5T)

393 I had a similar trapped experience as a child with snow, and am very lucky to be here

Visiting friends with my grandparents, we arrived one late December day at the home of acquaintances they'd known for decades at their ranch-style home. Being there were no other children present, and the expansive backyard was covered in over a foot of snow, level and clean in every direction, they offered to let me run and play in the fresh powder.

Within a few minutes my attention was drawn by a pair of looped metal bars sticking out of the snow, perhaps fifteen yards from my current position in the yard. So I thought I'd run over and take a look.

At about halfway, I heard the muffled snap, soon to be for me the sound of nightmares. A split second later, and I was drenched, up to my shoulders in freezing water. The only reason I'd not gone under was their tarp, which I could feel my foot was stuck through.

It took what felt like an eternity, but likely only took a minute or so to extract myself. Moving delicately to keep my head above water, I was able to gently extricate and leave the boot that had punched through the tarp in the in-ground pool, and get to what I now realized was the ladder.

Seconds after I returned inside and my safety had been assured by the grownups, my grandfather punched through the emotional rev limiter and went straight into fifth gear- I don't think I ever saw him angrier in the eight years we were both alive. I had no idea there was a pool, as I'd never been to their residence, and I hadn't been told.

After a few moments, cooler heads prevailed, if only to get me bundled up in towels and blankets, and get my street clothes and snowsuit in the dryer. We left as soon as the load was done, and it wasn't until the middle of the next year before the adults were talking again.

I figure most kids wind up doing something accidental to themselves, or others, that teaches them about their own mortality, and how one must fight in those moments. Those who fail are the tragedies of our youth, and who don't have that opportunity are the sheep who are most likely to stand around dumbfounded when the moment arises later.

Posted by: Fringe at May 23, 2019 06:09 PM (YNYza)

394 Our rock fights had no rules, luckily only bloody occasionally.

Going to go pick up my dad to see Cold Blue, my sister is going as well. Report later on it.

Posted by: Skip at May 23, 2019 06:10 PM (BbGew)

395 >>>384 I always liked Cliff Richard even if he is a pederast.....

he is? Are you sure you're not thinking of Gary Glitter?

Posted by: ace at May 23, 2019 06:10 PM (PbpT7)

396 Wish me luck, y'all, I'm off on a first date. Catch y'all later.

Posted by: Bert G at May 23, 2019 06:10 PM (OMsf+)

397 At age 6 I was bugging my brother to teach me to swim

He picked me up and threw me in the deep end of the pool and said SWIM!

I learned to doggy paddle real fast.
Posted by: Ben Had
---------

Yup, except it was my dad, from a dock.

Hey, wait a minute...

Posted by: Mike Hammer, etc., etc. at May 23, 2019 06:10 PM (xSo9G)

398 Hey horde!

My favorite childhood memory was watching Zoom on PBS (back then, when I was younger than 29, PBS was the only station with kids shows. There is only so much HeeHaw a child should have to stomach)

On one episode, they showed how to make a camp stove with an old coffee can, so you could fry bologna. I presume you could cook other stuff on it, but I was entranced at the thought of cooking something OUTSIDE. Did I mention I was five?

So, off to outside with a coffee can, punched with holes, my dad's lighter, some lighter fluid, and a package of bologna. It was the best meal I ever ate. It was also the worst whupping I ever got, for setting the yard on fire.

Good times.

Posted by: moki at May 23, 2019 06:10 PM (mFoNl)

399 So I know most of you 29 year oldd only had the ball attached to a cup, but you know the whole stereotype of oh, kids these days and their video games, they never play outside?

Video games are the reason I played outside so much. They made me love adventures and want to have my own. Making my own little puzzles to solve and exploring. I miss that. I'm so tech addled now.

Posted by: Broseidon Czar of the Brocean at May 23, 2019 06:10 PM (V2hGB)

400 No fart lighting yet?
Fart lighting.

Does throwing sodium swiped from the high school chemistry lab into a toilet in the boys' bathroom count?

Posted by: Basement Cat at May 23, 2019 06:10 PM (pPNCa)

401 garrett: "Grandfather once 'Cured' my Poison Ivy by shaving the blisters with a knife and pouring bleach on it.

That stung a bit."

What the heck was he thinking? Hadn't he heard of amputation? No, but seriously, WTH? That's just stupid. Rubbing a bit of dirt on it would be, literally, a much better solution.

Posted by: AnonyBotymousDrivel at May 23, 2019 06:10 PM (6eEQ+)

402 Wish me luck, y'all, I'm off on a first date. Catch y'all later.
Posted by: Bert G
------

At age 29?

Well, what the heck. Better late than never.

Posted by: Mike Hammer, etc., etc. at May 23, 2019 06:11 PM (xSo9G)

403 Tennis Ball Cannons! Back when beer cans were still steel. Get a couple of tall beer cans, cut the top and bottom off the fist two with a can opener, Punch holes in a third can across the top. Punch a single hole in the bottom as a touch hole. Stick em all together with black electrical tape at the joins.

Squirt some lighter fluid at the touch hole - vaporize it by whirling it around for a second - drop in a tennis ball (new ones could be used a flaming tennis balls if you soaked em with fluid first) and touch a lighter to the touch hole.

Posted by: DamnedYankee at May 23, 2019 06:11 PM (37IEG)

404 360 My favorite childhood smell is baking Creepy Crawlers.
Posted by: Broseidon Czar of the Brocean at May 23, 2019 06:04 PM (V2hGB)
---
Yes! The Thingmaker rocked. I loved making tarantulas and centipedes and putting them on Mom's pillow.

Posted by: All Hail Eris, Literate Savage at May 23, 2019 06:11 PM (kQs4Y)

405 >>We used to use the PVC piping from the house construction next door for the bottle rocket wars - roman candles were forbidden after some wimpy kid got burned

Don't you hate the whiners? We used to make little zip guns with popsicle sticks and rubber bands. Surreptitious rubber band fights were a big part of my scholastic career.

As soon as the teacher's back was turned it was fight time. It was all good until some whiner got accidentally hit.

Posted by: JackStraw at May 23, 2019 06:11 PM (/tuJf)

406 Magnifying glass + ants = ant flambe.

Posted by: BackwardsBoy says #PurgeProgressivismBAMN at May 23, 2019 06:12 PM (HaL55)

407 I used to ride down the laundry chute from the 2nd floor to the basement when I was around 3 or 4 pretty often.

And stick forks in outlets to watch the sparks.

And there was a McDonald's being built so I crawled through the concrete sewer line a few times, by myself, when I was around 8 or 9. This was one that went from the rear to the street and took a long while to do.

Those were all pretty dumb

Posted by: Total Control Racist at May 23, 2019 06:12 PM (z2W2E)

408 385 Two words: Dirt clod fights.
Posted by: BackwardsBoy says #PurgeProgressivismBAMN at May 23, 2019 06:08 PM (HaL55)

Posted by: Mark Andrew Edwards, Angry, Radical, Anti-Liberal, and Dangerous: buy ammo at May 23, 2019 06:12 PM (bcbK8)

409 Dirt-clod fights. With the German kids.

The ruthless, cunning, older, resentful German kids.

Posted by: Zod at May 23, 2019 06:12 PM (cKKn4)

410 364
There's a gender thing going on here...

Most of the 'ette stories are of the accident kind, i.e. I kept falling down the stairs.

While the morons stories are the, 'I took a running leap and thought I could....' or the 'We jumped of the roof thinking...'.

Posted by: Tami at May 23, 2019 06:05 PM (cF8AT)
So you're asking the ettes to be equally stupid for gender equality purposes?

Posted by: DamnedYankee at May 23, 2019 06:12 PM (37IEG)

411 Another smell of childhood: singed flesh from the burning hot Thingmaker.

Posted by: All Hail Eris, Literate Savage at May 23, 2019 06:12 PM (kQs4Y)

412 We used to play cowboys and Indians or cops and robbers but you can't today because one is rayciss and the other ignores the structural root causes of crime.

Posted by: Anonosaurus Wrecks, Tyrannosaur Wrangler at May 23, 2019 06:12 PM (+y/Ru)

413 Have a nice time, Bert G. Tell her all the Morons said hi.

Posted by: hogmartin invites you to the Summer MIMoMe (link: nick) at May 23, 2019 06:12 PM (t+qrx)

414 356 I used to throw butcher knives in the garage. Fir some reason, I was very good at it. Nearly all the jknives went in, and at the right spot.

Eventually, my mother (who worked) found out I was doing this, totally freaked out, and put an end to it.

To this day, I don't understand what was wrong with it.

Posted by: Jeanie Summers at May 23, 2019 06:03 PM (kPk9Q)

I remember playing with jackknives at a boy scout camp one summer, and we were in some dining room or rec room that had wood chairs (a cabin type layout) and we'd have two guys sit in chairs facing each other and try to see how close they could stick the knife to the other guys foot. (hey that's typical real boy scout games) So the game ended when one wild pitch went a little high and embedded in the wood about an inch in front of the targets happy sack.

nobody wanted to play after that.

Posted by: Tom Servo at May 23, 2019 06:12 PM (Kpl3J)

415 I gotta get off this thread. It's putting in a really fucked up place where I don't want to be. Later.

Posted by: Insomniac at May 23, 2019 06:13 PM (NWiLs)

416 So you're asking the ettes to be equally stupid for gender equality purposes?

Posted by: DamnedYankee at May 23, 2019 06:12 PM (37IEG)

Unpossible!

Posted by: Tami at May 23, 2019 06:13 PM (cF8AT)

417 318 I used to have roman candle wars with my boy cousins and my brother on the beach in the summertime.

epic.

we used to catch dogfish in the Sound, stuff M80s in their mouths, light em up and throw the fish back in the water.

we were awful children
Posted by: nurse ratched at May 23, 2019 05:57 PM (d7Ww2)

When we caught dogfish, if mom wasn't on the boat that day, dad let us use his .22 pistol to shoot them. He had the .22 on board, in case we caught a 100 pound halibut. Riiigghhttt.

Often, the blood would draw other dogfish who followed the hooked one off the bottom, and they would attack it as it slowly sunk. It was cool.

You know, I think I just figured out what to do to those commies in the WA state supreme court.

Posted by: LeftCoast Dawg at May 23, 2019 06:13 PM (sy5kK)

418 Two words: Dirt clod fights.
Posted by: BackwardsBoy
-------
Many, many, of them.

Posted by: Mike Hammer, etc., etc. at May 23, 2019 06:13 PM (xSo9G)

419 >>No, but seriously, WTH? That's just stupid.

I kept scratching it.

When I clearly should have been gathering more stones from the Ivy Infested field stone wall we were cannibalizing to build a fireplace.

After the stinging wore off it scabbed right up and went away.

Posted by: garrett at May 23, 2019 06:13 PM (VzI4f)

420 YUB-NUB!

YUB-NUB!

YUB!!!

NUB!!!!

Posted by: garrett

Today on Mutual of Morons Wildlife show we learn the Ewok panic yell unfortunately does not carry well.

Posted by: DaveA at May 23, 2019 06:13 PM (FhXTo)

421 Carbide cannon.

Posted by: BackwardsBoy says #PurgeProgressivismBAMN at May 23, 2019 06:13 PM (HaL55)

422 oh garrett

Posted by: vmom superior, order of sweet merciless ninjas at May 23, 2019 06:14 PM (dm05u)

423 Thank you Rageaholic

https://tinyurl.com/yyf3x6gw
Posted by: MAGA at May 23, 2019 05:56 PM (I5LRE)
*************
Nice & Mis Hum gets a screenshot too.

Posted by: redridinghood at May 23, 2019 06:14 PM (RBOtF)

424 When I got back to it as an adult, not so high as I remembered.

Posted by: NaCly Dog

Went back to my old house in SC from when I was young - the house, hell, the whole neighbor seemed so tiny now - but I remembered it as if it had been the entire world - large and vast. Childhood is a wonder, I'm glad I saw things the way I did - not tiny and shriveled like an adult...

Posted by: Boswell at May 23, 2019 06:14 PM (32YRo)

425 I do love the idea of Creepy Crawlers.

"Boys wanna use the Easy Bake Oven? That'll turn them into homos. Let's give them this acrid probably poison goop and let them make fake centipedes."

Posted by: Broseidon Czar of the Brocean at May 23, 2019 06:14 PM (V2hGB)

426 >>Tennis Ball Cannons! Back when beer cans were still steel. Get a couple of tall beer cans, cut the top and bottom off the fist two with a can opener, Punch holes in a third can across the top. Punch a single hole in the bottom as a touch hole. Stick em all together with black electrical tape at the joins.

>>Squirt some lighter fluid at the touch hole - vaporize it by whirling it around for a second - drop in a tennis ball (new ones could be used a flaming tennis balls if you soaked em with fluid first) and touch a lighter to the touch hole.

I'm sooo nostalgic now I wish my dad was still around so I good raid his liquor cabinet to make it complete.

Posted by: JackStraw at May 23, 2019 06:14 PM (/tuJf)

427
When I was 10 or 11 a friend of mine had great balance and could walk on top of a six ft. tall fence that was very narrow (2-1/2" maybe). I tried to copy him -took one step and the next thing I know I fell off and landed on my back -actually neck first impact. Not sure my parents even knew.
Did not go to Dr.

Posted by: Glenn John at May 23, 2019 06:15 PM (LilNs)

428 I had a sibling that was 5 years older then me and he used to torture me and my little brother every time he got the chance. Once, while sitting in one of my dads cars my brother pushed the cigarette lighter in. It came out re d hot. He told me to touch it because that would be cool... so I did. Helluva burn. He told my parents that I shut my finger in the car door.

Posted by: Truck Monkey at May 23, 2019 06:15 PM (flINI)

429 399 Hey horde!

My favorite childhood memory was watching Zoom on PBS (back then, when I was younger than 29, PBS was the only station with kids shows. There is only so much HeeHaw a child should have to stomach)

On one episode, they showed how to make a camp stove with an old coffee can, so you could fry bologna. I presume you could cook other stuff on it, but I was entranced at the thought of cooking something OUTSIDE. Did I mention I was five?

So, off to outside with a coffee can, punched with holes, my dad's lighter, some lighter fluid, and a package of bologna. It was the best meal I ever ate. It was also the worst whupping I ever got, for setting the yard on fire.

Good times.
Posted by: moki at May 23, 2019 06:10 PM (mFoNl)

"We're gonna zoom, zoom, zoooma zoom..."

Posted by: Mark Andrew Edwards, Angry, Radical, Anti-Liberal, and Dangerous: buy ammo at May 23, 2019 06:15 PM (bcbK8)

430 At the end of a 3 day water fast I suddenly had mad energy and went on a housecleaning spree. I don,t think I could fast more than 24 hrs. now.

Posted by: kallisto at May 23, 2019 06:15 PM (3KcdH)

431 nobody wanted to play after that.

Posted by: Tom Servo at May 23, 2019 06:12 PM (Kpl3J)

we played that! and 'stretch'. you stand with legs together and the other guy throw the knife away from your foot. has to be in line and stick straight up. then you have to stretch to that spot. repeat till you fall.

Posted by: Cannibal Bob at May 23, 2019 06:15 PM (7CM5W)

432 Grandfather once 'Cured' my Poison Ivy by shaving the blisters with a knife and pouring bleach on it.
........

Hey. No hot iron? Is he still around? Love to have him join in for the Health Tips threads.

Posted by: wth at May 23, 2019 06:15 PM (v0R5T)

433 Dogs teach us love, loyalty and compassion.
They make us better.

Posted by: redridinghood at May 23, 2019 06:15 PM (RBOtF)

434 Two words: Dirt clod fights.
Posted by: BackwardsBoy says #PurgeProgressivismBAMN at May 23, 2019 06:08 PM (HaL55)

You can't buy that kind of fun.

Posted by: DR.WTF at May 23, 2019 06:16 PM (aS1PU)

435 Eris: Yeah my mom was horribly afraid of spiders, so of course I hide those in her bed.

Posted by: Broseidon Czar of the Brocean at May 23, 2019 06:17 PM (V2hGB)

436 And yes, Jerry Nadler is boosting his seat so he's not dwarfish as he is in real life while sitting in his chair. Kind of like how DeNiro wears 3" lifts so he's not a gnome compared to normal human actors.

http://tinyurl.com/y5kmju9x

Posted by: Christopher R Taylor at May 23, 2019 06:17 PM (39g3+)

437 410 Dirt-clod fights. With the German kids.

The ruthless, cunning, older, resentful German kids.
Posted by: Zod at May 23, 2019 06:12 PM (cKKn4)

We were on a vacation in Sharm El Sheikh with a couple of families, and the hotel had an indoor jungle gym. I think it was supposed to be a garden, but our (American) kids began a capture the flag game every evening with a bunch of Russian kids. The parents all sat in the coffee area outside and cheered on our kids. It was awesome. Particularly when my daughter (the only girl in both groups) walloped the hell out of a bigger Russian boy.

Posted by: moki at May 23, 2019 06:17 PM (mFoNl)

438 "Don't tell your Mother"

Posted by: garrett at May 23, 2019 06:18 PM (VzI4f)

439 Ever know you were going to crash long enough for "Ride of the Valkyries" to start in your head?

Posted by: DaveA at May 23, 2019 06:18 PM (FhXTo)

440 When I was little I wanted a Strawberry Shortcake Shortbake Oven. To make late night snacks for myself when I was supposed to be sleeping. But both parents were opposed, as near as I could tell on the grounds that it was a very gay thing for a boy to want.

Posted by: bear with asymmetrical balls at May 23, 2019 06:18 PM (8JE5H)

441 Indian wrestling.

Posted by: BackwardsBoy says #PurgeProgressivismBAMN at May 23, 2019 06:18 PM (HaL55)

442 so my spider story is short:

I'm in bed, reading. I look up, and I'm not sure what I see. It's a little gray wiggly blur. I can't really focus on it and I don't have a mental inventory of what this thing is to allow me to quickly identify it.

After a second I realize "Shit that's a spider coming down a thread" but before I can react it falls right into my open mouth.

Obviously I spat it out and brushed my teeth and etc. but still, spider in your mouth. Not great!

Posted by: ace at May 23, 2019 06:19 PM (PbpT7)

443 DamnedYankee: "Do they even make wooden blocks any more?"

Good question. I remember building blocks when I was very young. Played with those a good bit, too. I don't remember them in quite as much detail as to coloring and sizing, just that they could be used for just about anything in a young, malleable mind. And the square ones made a great curve ball.

Posted by: AnonyBotymousDrivel at May 23, 2019 06:19 PM (6eEQ+)

444 There's a gender thing going on here

Yes. Boys are more adventurous and willing to take risks, experiment, and try things to see how they work at their own cost. Girls are more inclined to consider dangers, see the risks, and restrain themselves. Generally speaking.

This aggression and experimentation allows guys to achieve things women won't try out of sense and caution. It also contributes to a shorter life span and more damage sustained.

Posted by: Christopher R Taylor at May 23, 2019 06:19 PM (39g3+)

445 >>When I was little I wanted a Strawberry Shortcake Shortbake Oven. To make late night snacks for myself when I was supposed to be sleeping. But both parents were opposed, as near as I could tell on the grounds that it was a very gay thing for a boy to want.

"It was those damn coulottes!"

Posted by: Morty Seinfeld at May 23, 2019 06:19 PM (VzI4f)

446
"We're gonna zoom, zoom, zoooma zoom..."
Posted by: Mark Andrew Edwards, Angry, Radical, Anti-Liberal, and Dangerous: buy ammo at May 23, 2019 06:15 PM (bcbK

I love that you know that!!

Posted by: moki at May 23, 2019 06:20 PM (mFoNl)

447 After a second I realize "Shit that's a spider coming down a thread" but before I can react it falls right into my open mouth.

"Imagine how I felt"
--The spider

Posted by: Christopher R Taylor at May 23, 2019 06:20 PM (39g3+)

448 difference between boys and girls - my wife talks about how she loved summer camp, they would make things, and they would sit around the campfire and sing songs - I tell we mainly threw knives at each other and set things on fire in various interesting ways.

Posted by: Tom Servo at May 23, 2019 06:20 PM (Kpl3J)

449 After a second I realize "Shit that's a spider coming down a thread" but before I can react it falls right into my open mouth.

Obviously I spat it out and brushed my teeth and etc. but still, spider in your mouth. Not great!

Posted by: ace at May 23, 2019 06:19 PM (PbpT7)

I soooo hope alexthechick is lurking.....we'll know soon enough.

Posted by: Tami at May 23, 2019 06:20 PM (cF8AT)

450 >After a second I realize "Shit that's a spider coming down a thread" but before I can react it falls right into my open mouth.

Hahaha

You missed your calling Ace. You should have been a regular on America's Funniest Home Videos.

Posted by: garrett at May 23, 2019 06:21 PM (VzI4f)

451 When I was around 12 my parents took us down to Ensenada for the weekend. They let me go exploring so I went and bought a load of fireworks. I decided to walk down by the harbor which was surrounded by large sand flats. Met up with some other kids with fireworks. We played war. It was great!

Posted by: DR.WTF at May 23, 2019 06:21 PM (aS1PU)

452 Wish me luck, y'all, I'm off on a first date. Catch y'all later.

Posted by: Bert G at May 23, 2019 06:10 PM (OMsf+)
........

WAIT WAIT WAIT. You really should stick around for a while so we can give you some advice.

Posted by: wth at May 23, 2019 06:21 PM (v0R5T)

453 moki, How is Abner?

Posted by: Ben Had at May 23, 2019 06:21 PM (G8B4j)

454 I'm trying to decide if I'd have let my kids do all this shit - but now grown they tell me over drinks about riding down the street towing a mattress behind my Suburban when I was out of town on business.

So they obviously have the basic idea down pat.

Posted by: DamnedYankee at May 23, 2019 06:21 PM (37IEG)

455 Obviously I spat it out and brushed my teeth and etc. but still, spider in your mouth. Not great!

Posted by: ace at May 23, 2019 06:19 PM (PbpT7)
Ewwww...!!

Yeah you know there is this stupid thing that floated around for awhile that the average person eats like 12 spiders or some shit in their lifetime. How do they know that?

Posted by: Jewells45 at May 23, 2019 06:22 PM (dUJdY)

456 Most of my childhood stories involve my pony and various miscalculations about what's reasonable. Reasonable speed, reasonable distance and reasonable height of fences
And often trying to pony's patience. Many of the stories ensd with me walking home, nursing various injuries.

The stories involving my cow horses involve saving my ass. End with me having to assuage their hurt dignity...

....except for picking fruit. I was a horrible fruit thief. They would let me stand on the saddle and just stand under me like statues. Occasionally I would pass fruit down to them. Everyone in town still remembers that if trees are close to fences...THAT FRUIT IS MINE.

Posted by: Gushka can has kitties what plays fetch at May 23, 2019 06:22 PM (F2Gk+)

457 Particularly when my daughter (the only girl in both groups) walloped the hell out of a bigger Russian boy.

Until puberty, girls often have a serious advantage over boys their age in terms of strength and size. Poor little guys can get the crap beat out of them. Plus there's the "dont hit girls" and "she's cute I want her to like me so I oughtn't punch her" factor.

Posted by: Christopher R Taylor at May 23, 2019 06:22 PM (39g3+)

458 Ace, very nice coda for the day.

We were given freedom because we were a high trust society back then. Now, not so much.

But we lived the life.

Hey, everyone. Consider hitting the tip jar. Ace will need to break that fast sometime.

Posted by: NaCly Dog at May 23, 2019 06:22 PM (u82oZ)

459 wow

https://twitter.com/stillgray/status/1130901917477904384

Posted by: rhennigantx at May 23, 2019 06:23 PM (JFO2v)

460 Grew up (ages 5-13) in a small GA city where dad managed a couple of textile mills. We lived on "managers' row" on the road leading up from one of the mills.

The house was incredible and the rent dirt cheap (I learned later). But what stood out then to me and even more so now was the landscaping. Land was cheap, so each of the houses had big back and front yards. And whoever built the places had imagination to spare.

Every house had major landscaping features. Ours had plants and trees from all over the world. One side of the house looked out onto a magnolia tree taller than the two-story, raised, gabled house. A concrete walkway ending at an arbor into the neighbor's yard went past the tree, bordered on the other side by a formal rose garden with irises. The back door opened out onto a smaller yard dominated by an enormous maple. That yard was bordered in back by huge smoky quartz boulders (big enough for me to sit on comfortably), with a bigger yard on the other side that was dominated in turn by an enormous pin oak, and with a large quartz barbecue pit and concrete benches. More boulders, then a mature bamboo grove. Behind the grove was a swale that ran all the way behind our house and the neighbor's (on the other side). The driveway ran along that side, ending at a garage built onto a steep downslope. Take the steps down the side to the swale, and you'd find a greenhouse built onto the lower level of the garage, and a gardening shed. Go beyond the swale to a hedge, then a meadow (blackberries!), then a creek, then a small white clay hill and a huge red clay hill.

And every fricking house up and down the block had this stuff! Full-size free-standing greenhouse, koi ponds, a grape arbor, stone walls and terraces, outbuildings of every description. Geez, I still can't believe it.

Posted by: Rocky Raccoon at May 23, 2019 06:23 PM (hu22E)

461 Another fun fact - When you are riding on the back of a dirtbike, don't act all cool and stand up on the road while it's still moving. Because so are you, and then it's 'face, meet pavement'.
Fortunately I had a helmet with a plastic face protector on.

Posted by: Ostar at May 23, 2019 06:23 PM (gc83Y)

462 I once almost ate a bee though. It was just sitting there on my burger and I wasn't paying any attention. Saw it just in time. It fell over dead. True story.

Posted by: Jewells45 at May 23, 2019 06:24 PM (dUJdY)

463 454 moki, How is Abner?
Posted by: Ben Had at May 23, 2019 06:21 PM (G8B4j)

{{Ben Had}}

He's a hoss. He's 13 weeks and weighs forty pounds, and has severe separation anxiety from me. Everyone else can leave the house, but he loses it if I am gone. I had the shingles and was confined to the house for two weeks, so that might have been part of it. We lost our German Shepherd on Sunday, and he was devoted to her, so I think he's feeling a bit vulnerable. But he is an awesome dog.

How are you doing, sweet lady?

Posted by: moki at May 23, 2019 06:24 PM (mFoNl)

464 Retro... pancakes!

https://tinyurl.com/yy55chwy

Posted by: shibumi at May 23, 2019 06:24 PM (sktRI)

465 458 Particularly when my daughter (the only girl in both groups) walloped the hell out of a bigger Russian boy.

Until puberty, girls often have a serious advantage over boys their age in terms of strength and size. Poor little guys can get the crap beat out of them. Plus there's the "dont hit girls" and "she's cute I want her to like me so I oughtn't punch her" factor.
Posted by: Christopher R Taylor at May 23, 2019 06:22 PM (39g3+)

She was six, he was 13 and had been tripping her. She had enough.

Posted by: moki at May 23, 2019 06:25 PM (mFoNl)

466 Yeah you know there is this stupid thing that floated around for awhile that the average person eats like 12 spiders or some shit in their lifetime. How do they know that?
Posted by: Jewells45 at May 23, 2019 06:22 PM (dUJdY)

I got mine out of the way all at once. It's easier that way. Never have to wonder, "is today the day I eat the next one?"

Posted by: hogmartin invites you to the Summer MIMoMe (link: nick) at May 23, 2019 06:25 PM (t+qrx)

467 I remember playing war with daisy BB guns.

I must've been around 8 or 9 and I was riding my brothers bike through a field with jumps. I went off the jump and I let go of the bike mid air. I never did that again.

Posted by: CaliGirl at May 23, 2019 06:25 PM (7bcfy)

468 You can't buy that kind of fun.

No. No, you can't. There was a fairly large (to a 6-yr-old) drainage ditch just down the road from the apartment that had the best collection of dirt clods ever. We did our best to excavate that ditch. I also had a plastic Army helmet. Made a helluva "whunck" sound when a dirt clod hit it, which happened a lot.

Posted by: BackwardsBoy says #PurgeProgressivismBAMN at May 23, 2019 06:25 PM (HaL55)

469 When my sister was 5 and I was 3, she decided she was the Mommy, I was the baby, and we were going shopping. She somehow got me into the car, a huge thing with fins (this being the early 60s) then she took her place behind the wheel. She was moving the steering wheel and playing around, somehow put the car in neutral, and we started sliding down the driveway. The car picked up speed and across the street we went, plowing into a neighbor's yard, our momentum stopped by a beech tree.
My brother was playing basketball down the street, one of his friends said, "Hey, isn't that your Dad's car?" He comes running, he told us years later all he could see were two mouths wide open, screaming. My parents and grandmother heard the commotion and came running out of the house. I remember my Dad yelling, he was really mad at my sister. The neighbor was cool about the tree, it didn't die but it did have a permanent scar in the trunk.

Posted by: JuJuBee, just generally being shamey at May 23, 2019 06:25 PM (COzlW)

470 LOL Hotair. Why the fuck do I even bother with these cucks? For the lulz I guess....

A story on the rulings to force Trump's financial records released:

"If you're scoring such things, Ramos was also appointed by Barack Obama to the court, as was Judge Amit Mehta, who ruled in a similar case on Monday. It doesn't seem to be terribly consequential to the rulings"

No, not consequential at all. After all judges are all super duper impartial and stuff, right? This is a "conservative" blog.

Posted by: Lurking Lurker at May 23, 2019 06:25 PM (FiUMj)

471 And yes, Jerry Nadler is boosting his seat so he's not dwarfish as he is in real life while sitting in his chair. Kind of like how DeNiro wears 3" lifts so he's not a gnome compared to normal human actors.

http://tinyurl.com/y5kmju9x

-
Don't worry, Bob. Nobody'll notice those retard shoes.

Posted by: Anonosaurus Wrecks, Tyrannosaur Wrangler at May 23, 2019 06:26 PM (+y/Ru)

472 Ace, thanks for sharing that Cliff Richard song, We Don't Talk Anymore. I was just about convinced I was the only person who remembered it. :-)

Posted by: qdpsteve at May 23, 2019 06:26 PM (miE9U)

473 >>> And that Ace is really bad at trying to kill himself.
Posted by: Weasel at May 23, 2019 05:21 PM (MVjcR)

It's like Better Off Dead but not intentional.

Ace, if you ever do something stupid enough to get yourself put into traction, I will happily come and play pretend waifu and take care of you. But no sex stuff. The Morons can put together a crowdfunding site for that particular service.

Posted by: LizLem at May 23, 2019 06:26 PM (hvf9s)

474 Hey. No hot iron? Is he still around? Love to have him join in for the Health Tips threads.

Posted by: wth

Actually - try a hot blow dryer - they say that the reason scratching gives relief is because of the heat it generates, releasing infectious cells' proteins to the nerve endings. But scratching allows any ivy oils to spread - so thus the blow dryer - it works, and gives hours of relief

Posted by: Boswell at May 23, 2019 06:26 PM (32YRo)

475 461

That sounds beautiful!

Posted by: moki at May 23, 2019 06:26 PM (mFoNl)

476 Tundra sliding on North Pac, clamming at clam bay. fishing lake Andy. Ptarmigan hunting around Mt. Moffet., shooting rats at the dump, playing war in the old WWII spider holes and bunkers. Picking up brass walking the seawall. We were rarely home.

Posted by: Bosk at May 23, 2019 06:26 PM (9m9TT)

477 I had a bee fly into my mouth when I was bike riding. 4 miles from home. I swallowed hard. No issues. Except to gross out my younger sisters.

Posted by: NaCly Dog at May 23, 2019 06:27 PM (u82oZ)

478 wow

Yeah the leftist responses to this guy are hilariously defensive
THAT'S NOT THE SAME!!!! as they desperately avoid his point

Posted by: Christopher R Taylor at May 23, 2019 06:27 PM (39g3+)

479 And every fricking house up and down the block had this stuff! Full-size free-standing greenhouse, koi ponds, a grape arbor, stone walls and terraces, outbuildings of every description. Geez, I still can't believe it.

Posted by: Rocky Raccoon at May 23, 2019 06:23 PM (hu22E)

You really should write novels. Excellent descriptive prose.

Posted by: Tami at May 23, 2019 06:27 PM (cF8AT)

480 Cliff Richard is NOT a pederast. I believe there was an attempt in Britain to give him the #MeToo treatment, but he fought it off successfully, from what I read.

In fact quite the opposite, he's been a born-again Christian since the 1960s.

Posted by: qdpsteve at May 23, 2019 06:27 PM (miE9U)

481 All you country bumpkins! Where's my fellow city kid, J.J. when I need him.

Grew up in Manhattan and when we would watch shows like Donna Reed or Leave It to Beaver, we thought that was just fake Hollywood stuff---nobody lived in houses like that! LOL

We used to sled in Riverside Drive. Always had to have a couple of spotters at the bottom of the hill or you'd end up on the West Side Highway.

Posted by: IrishEi at May 23, 2019 06:27 PM (NtglE)

482 I swallowed hard. No issues.

"Easy for you to say, pal"
--The bee

Posted by: Christopher R Taylor at May 23, 2019 06:28 PM (39g3+)

483 I did a lot of darting out into traffic, wandering away from my parents, and messing with electronics as a kid. I'm still not sure how I survived childhood.

Posted by: LizLem at May 23, 2019 06:28 PM (hvf9s)

484 he is? Are you sure you're not thinking of Gary Glitter?
Posted by: ace at May 23, 2019 06:10 PM (PbpT7)

Cliff got in a little trouble a few years back but I think he paid the kid off......

Posted by: Hairyback Guy at May 23, 2019 06:28 PM (e+rs5)

485 Wow! Gushka! And CaliGirl! How nice to see both of you!

Posted by: bluebell at May 23, 2019 06:28 PM (aXucN)

486 Did you know that poison oak can swell a 12 yr old's balls to the literal size of grapefruits?
Neither did I, until I was crawling around the forest and then really had to pee...

Posted by: Ostar at May 23, 2019 06:28 PM (gc83Y)

487 363 zonk

INFORMAL
verb
1.
hit or strike.
"Charley really zonked me"

i've never heard it used as the noun what A zonk.

Either before or since.

Posted by: ace at May 23, 2019 06:05 PM (PbpT7)

BAM!
BLAM!
CRASH!
POP!
POW!
KAPOW!
ZOK!

Posted by: TV Batman fight graphics generator at May 23, 2019 06:29 PM (sy5kK)

488 >>I swallowed hard. No issues.

Always a good plan.

Posted by: Shep Smith at May 23, 2019 06:29 PM (VzI4f)

489 Hydrate!!!

Posted by: Almost-Zombie RGB at May 23, 2019 06:29 PM (EgshT)

490 I've told of the BB gun fight in my neighbor's basement. It's fun until you almost shoot out an eye. Every parent's nightmare!

I still think it would be cool to rock an eyepatch as a kid.

Posted by: All Hail Eris, Literate Savage at May 23, 2019 06:29 PM (kQs4Y)

491 There, that's better.

Posted by: Almost-Zombie RBG at May 23, 2019 06:30 PM (EgshT)

492 So many scars. So many.
And chemical set experiments that got out of hand...were tossed out a window, and burned the white house paint black from my second floor window to the yard.

Posted by: trainer at May 23, 2019 06:30 PM (7EbAY)

493 I stole my moms 69 camera when I was about twelve with a friend. We learned how to power brake it. When we got back to our house the college kids across the street took the parking spot. My friend and I knocked on the door and asked them to move their car and if they would park the camero for us. They did.

Posted by: CaliGirl at May 23, 2019 06:30 PM (7bcfy)

494 >>. . .They would let me stand on the saddle and just stand under me like statues.

There's some trust!

Posted by: Lizzy at May 23, 2019 06:31 PM (W+vEI)

495 Oh and when the crab boats came in my dad and his buddies would fill up the back of the pickup. they'd spend the day boiling them up and drinking beer in the garage. Us kids would watch and try to help while the wives would pack the meat into clean milk containers for freezing.

Posted by: Bosk at May 23, 2019 06:31 PM (9m9TT)

496 Just got into Columbus, IN, home of VP Pence. It explains a lot about him. It's like a weird little American utopia.

Posted by: Yudhishthira's Dice at May 23, 2019 06:31 PM (lalCH)

497 After a second I realize "Shit that's a spider coming down a thread" but before I can react it falls right into my open mouth.

And now the shelves are held together with your own personal web that now shoot out from your wrists, right?

Posted by: BackwardsBoy says #PurgeProgressivismBAMN at May 23, 2019 06:31 PM (HaL55)

498 I remember building blocks when I was very young.

Am I the only moron who remembers the old all-wooden Tinkertoy sets? I also used to use dominoes together with building blocks to make little forts and castles, stuff like that.

Then there was the Gilbert chemistry set . . . no explosions, just a couple stains on the basement ceiling. My mother was convinced I was a budding Mad Scientist but at least she stopped with ranting rather than hauling me off to a shrink, which is probably what happens to nerdy kids today.

Posted by: Basement Cat at May 23, 2019 06:31 PM (pPNCa)

499 I've told of the BB gun fight in my neighbor's basement. It's fun until you almost shoot out an eye. Every parent's nightmare!

Posted by: All Hail Eris, Literate Savage at May 23, 2019 06:29 PM (kQs4Y)
--------

Unfortunately it actually happened to my friend's nephew.

Posted by: bluebell at May 23, 2019 06:31 PM (aXucN)

500 >>>My favorite childhood smell is

the omelene i'd feed my pony.

Posted by: trapper's girl at May 23, 2019 06:33 PM (DGS6j)

501 >>I stole my moms 69 camera when I was about twelve with a friend. We learned how to power brake it. When we got back to our house the college kids across the street took the parking spot. My friend and I knocked on the door and asked them to move their car and if they would park the camero for us. They did.

That ended differently than I thought it would.

Posted by: JackStraw at May 23, 2019 06:33 PM (/tuJf)

502 This has been such a fun thread! Thanks Ace!

Posted by: Jewells45 at May 23, 2019 06:33 PM (dUJdY)

503 What ever happened to Drano Bombs? They were so easy to make, and yet so incredibly dangerous. Nothing could be more fun!

I think what happened to them is that the rise of digital photography eliminated the need for film canisters anymore, so kids no longer had easy access to a near infinite supply of little aluminum cans. Since those comprise the body of a Drano Bomb, people forgot the skill of how to even make them.

For those unfamiliar with Drano Bombs:

Go to an old-timey photography store, or root around in your dad's photo box, and get a bunch of little film canisters - - the ones about three inches tall and about an inch in diameter. Important: It must be the ALUMINUM kind with a screw-on lid, not the plastic kind with a snap-on lid. The plastic kind of course would never work for this purpose.

Then get some Drano -- crystals or liquid are equally good.

Put about a tablespoon of Drano into the main body of the can. The, holding the lid in your other hand, fill it with water.

Once the target is identified and you have room to run away, QUICKLY slam the lid down on the can and AS FAST AS POSSIBLE screw it on tight and then IMMEDIATELY throw it as far as you can in the direction of the enemy and then RUN FOR DEAR LIFE. If timed correctly, the can will explode right about when it lands, with an extremely impressive explosion. Best of all, it sends aluminum shrapnel flying in every direction, causing blindness, puncture wounds, broken windows, and all sorts of mayhem.

Believe it or not, our main target in my counter-culture inner-city neighborhood were POLICE CARS driving by. You had to have a complete escape route tested out ahead of time for multiple blocks of top-spped running. Yell "Fuck the pigs!" throw the bomb and run as fast as humanly possible in the opposite direction. Keep running until you literally cannot run any more.

Posted by: zombie at May 23, 2019 06:33 PM (5tb4C)

504 Nood

Posted by: Yudhishthira's Dice at May 23, 2019 06:34 PM (lalCH)

505 That ended differently than I thought it would.
Posted by: JackStraw at May 23, 2019 06:33 PM (/tuJf)
------------

Not everyone is you.

Posted by: bluebell at May 23, 2019 06:34 PM (aXucN)

506 http://tinyurl.com/y5kmju9x

-
Don't worry, Bob. Nobody'll notice those retard shoes.

Posted by: Anonosaurus Wrecks, Tyrannosaur Wrangler at May 23, 2019 06:26 PM (+y/Ru)
........

Wow. What a goon.

Posted by: wth at May 23, 2019 06:34 PM (v0R5T)

507 Am I the only moron who remembers the old all-wooden Tinkertoy sets?

Our main toys growing up were matchbox cars, lincoln logs, tinker toys, blocks, clay, and lego. Mom and dad gave us the tools to build stuff ourselves and let us go crazy. We did a lot of crossover stuff, building long matchbox tracks using tinker toys as scaffolding and lincoln log bridges, building forts out of blocks and beseiging them with tinker toy catapults, etc. My older brothers would build cars out of lego and put clay crash test dummies inside then bash them into each other.

Posted by: Christopher R Taylor at May 23, 2019 06:34 PM (39g3+)

508 What ever happened to Drano Bombs? They were so easy to make, and yet so incredibly dangerous. Nothing could be more fun!
Posted by: zombie at May 23, 2019 06:33 PM (5tb4C)

You don't need an aluminum canister if you use an empty plastic bottle and aluminum foil.

Posted by: hogmartin invites you to the Summer MIMoMe (link: nick) at May 23, 2019 06:35 PM (t+qrx)

509 me and my little brother caught jumping off the roof AGAIN and mom had enough. "Get upstairs and stay there until you dad gets home!" so we're up applying extra underwear waiting for the beating that we knew was coming.

couple of hours later dad gets home and first thing she does is complain her clothes dryer being on the fritz so he tears right into it and he's getting pissed about it and we're up there thinking oh shit woe is we.

a couple of hours later he's done and here comes mom with "you need to know what those boys have been up to!"

We actually felt sorry for her when he lit into her for not disciplining us. We skated that one time.

Posted by: DanMan at May 23, 2019 06:35 PM (XTiHL)

510 Once the target is identified and you have room to run away, QUICKLY slam the lid down on the can and AS FAST AS POSSIBLE screw it on tight and then IMMEDIATELY throw it as far as you can in the direction of the enemy and then RUN FOR DEAR LIFE. If timed correctly, the can will explode right about when it lands, with an extremely impressive explosion. Best of all, it sends aluminum shrapnel flying in every direction, causing blindness, puncture wounds, broken windows, and all sorts of mayhem.

Believe it or not, our main target in my counter-culture inner-city neighborhood were POLICE CARS driving by. You had to have a complete escape route tested out ahead of time for multiple blocks of top-spped running. Yell "Fuck the pigs!" throw the bomb and run as fast as humanly possible in the opposite direction. Keep running until you literally cannot run any more.
Posted by: zombie at May 23, 2019 06:33 PM (5tb4C)

Nice!

Posted by: DR.WTF at May 23, 2019 06:35 PM (aS1PU)

511 504....Keep running until you literally cannot run any more.
Posted by: zombie at May 23, 2019 06:33 PM (5tb4C)

505 Nood

Posted by: Yudhishthira's Dice

All-time classic willowing!

Posted by: zombie at May 23, 2019 06:35 PM (5tb4C)

512 When I think of growing up in the big, bad city I think of punks playing stick ball in the street, throwing knives, scrounging for cigarette butts at the pool hall, and pitching pennies.

My image was informed by 50's movies about juvenile delinquents.

Posted by: All Hail Eris, Literate Savage at May 23, 2019 06:35 PM (kQs4Y)

513 >>And every fricking house up and down the block had this stuff! Full-size free-standing greenhouse, koi ponds, a grape arbor, stone walls and terraces, outbuildings of every description. Geez, I still can't believe it.

That sounds amazing - must have been heaven exploring!!

Posted by: Lizzy at May 23, 2019 06:36 PM (W+vEI)

514 Wow! Gushka! And CaliGirl! How nice to see both of you!
Posted by: bluebell at May 23, 2019 06:28 PM (aXucN)

Hey Blue I have missed you so damn much! I have had life, spinal surgery and sick parents, to deal with... hows life treating you?

Posted by: Gushka can has kitties what plays fetch at May 23, 2019 06:36 PM (F2Gk+)

515 Nanzi is literally out of her mind.

.@GlennThrush to Pelosi: "Can you explain the comment you made about staff making an intervention" on Trump?
Pelosi: "Statutory intervention? That would be good. Article 25. That's a good idea. I'll take it up with my caucus, not that they haven't been thinking about it."

Posted by: Anonosaurus Wrecks, Tyrannosaur Wrangler at May 23, 2019 06:37 PM (+y/Ru)

516 >>Not everyone is you.

Lucky you.

Posted by: JackStraw at May 23, 2019 06:37 PM (/tuJf)

517 504. And zombie wins again.

You are truly an amazing person.

Posted by: moki at May 23, 2019 06:37 PM (mFoNl)

518 Am I the only moron who remembers the old all-wooden Tinkertoy sets?

taking our sister's steel skates and nailing them to 2x4s for skateboards

Posted by: DanMan at May 23, 2019 06:37 PM (XTiHL)

519 scrounging for cigarette butts at the pool hall
Posted by: All Hail Eris, Literate Savage at May 23, 2019 06:35 PM (kQs4Y)

That sounds like trouble!

Posted by: hogmartin invites you to the Summer MIMoMe (link: nick) at May 23, 2019 06:38 PM (t+qrx)

520 476 461

That sounds beautiful!

Posted by: moki at May 23, 2019 06:26 PM (mFoNl)

It really was. I've often wondered, to the point of its being a research project that I haven't gotten around to, just who put all that stuff together. I kept the description short, too. There was a weeping cherry, sweetgum, two cedar trees, nandina, abelia, the screen porch on one side of the front covered by wisteria, honeysuckle (of course), other huge white oaks. Just on and on, all up and down the road on both sides.

Posted by: Rocky Raccoon at May 23, 2019 06:38 PM (hu22E)

521 All-time classic willowing!
Posted by: zombie at May 23, 2019 06:

------

Heh. And, yeah I remember those. Good times. I just threw them at stumps, though. You were keeping it real.

Posted by: Yudhishthira's Dice at May 23, 2019 06:38 PM (lalCH)

522 When I think of growing up in the big, bad city I think of punks playing stick ball in the street, throwing knives, scrounging for cigarette butts at the pool hall, and pitching pennies.
My image was informed by 50's movies about juvenile delinquents.
Posted by: All Hail Eris, Literate Savage at May 23, 2019 06:35 PM
~~~~~

It's all true. Even the JD stuff.

Plus picking parking meters, zapping rats with pea shooters.

Posted by: IrishEi at May 23, 2019 06:38 PM (NtglE)

523 My favorite childhood smell is

the omelene i'd feed my pony.
Posted by: trapper's girl at May 23, 2019 06:33 PM (DGS6j)

That really is a good smell. The smell of contentment

Posted by: Gushka can has kitties what plays fetch at May 23, 2019 06:40 PM (F2Gk+)

524 460 wow

https://twitter.com/stillgray/status/1130901917477904384

Posted by: rhennigantx at May 23, 2019 06:23 PM (JFO2v)

There is simply no reasoning with some people.

Posted by: rickl at May 23, 2019 06:41 PM (sdi6R)

525 :-)

Posted by: trapper's girl at May 23, 2019 06:42 PM (DGS6j)

526 From the article: "The woman told police Wilkes had grabbed her by the wrist and choked her."
That's pretty impressive - I've never heard of anyone being able to choke someone by grabbing their wrist.

Posted by: FaCubeItches at May 23, 2019 06:44 PM (HOXd0)

527 It's all true. Even the JD stuff.
---
Did you get into a drag race with Mamie van Doren?

Posted by: All Hail Eris, Literate Savage at May 23, 2019 06:45 PM (kQs4Y)

528 >>> Posted by: zombie at May 23, 2019 06:33 PM (5tb4C)

You have the best stories, seriously.

Posted by: LizLem at May 23, 2019 06:49 PM (hvf9s)

529 If that's a picture of the alleged shooter (and I think it is) it looks like the arresting officers did a Tennesse Mountain clog dance on his face and head. Not that there is anything wrong with that.

Posted by: Comanche Voter at May 23, 2019 07:25 PM (WRSbt)

530 Ace, you want to stay away from Boa Constrictors, buddy.

Posted by: Ray Van Dune at May 23, 2019 08:11 PM (CC97/)

531 I'm just picturing a little 7 yar old Ace dangling from a tree while his neighbor stands there thinking "Poor kid tries to kill himself but he's too stupid to do it properly"

Posted by: Rbastid at May 23, 2019 08:22 PM (9k4Yy)

532 56 Builder toys, what is best?

To destroy the constructions of your sibling,
And hear the lamentations of your sister!

Everybody knows that.

Posted by: Ray Van Dune at May 23, 2019 08:30 PM (CC97/)

533 Grew up next to the Stearn's & Foster's factory. Used to jump off of the top of the coal pile. Pretty big pile. Truck had a ramp up one side to make deliveries, and it was about a two story loose grade where we jumped at. They also had huge piles of cotton on the rail delivery docks that we played in when there was no production. One kid started a fire and got himself killed. Read about that in the paper. They also used to leave huge piles of sand in the lot next to our house, and I would dig caves in it.
I do believe in parallel realities, in in most others I am already dead.

Posted by: Cluebat at May 23, 2019 09:23 PM (S8ld5)

534 okay then

Posted by: lowandslow at May 23, 2019 09:29 PM (4thlk)

535 I like the intro to Knock on Wood but the video is kind of creepy. Melissa Manchester really has some lips...

I suppose you're sort of a child of Disco.

Posted by: Larry Geiger at May 24, 2019 08:00 AM (d3f0v)

536 Great post.

Posted by: gel nails at May 26, 2019 09:18 PM (MFLBZ)

537 Thanks designed for sharing such a fastidious thinking, article is good, thats why
i have read it fully

Posted by: Sexy Ass Cams at June 15, 2019 06:49 AM (FDKMv)

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Hospitalized Hero Cop Gets Visit From K9 Friend;Plus: Childhood Memories and Nostalgia Open Thread

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Hospitalized Hero Cop Gets Visit From K9 Friend;
Plus: Childhood Memories and Nostalgia Open Thread