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Avenatti Accused by Grand Jury of Lying to Another Client, Claiming a $2 Million Settlement Hadn't Been Paid, and Using That $2 Million for Himself to Go Sharsies on a... Private Jet

You may have heard of this jet; the feds seized it.

The scheme described here by John Sexton is similar to the con Avenatti ran on the paraplegic client: After having gotten a settlement, supposedly for the client, Avenatti took the money for himself. Most of the settlement was paid up-front, but Avenatti told the client, falsely, that it would all be paid monthly over eight years.

Avenatti then made some of those payments out of the settlement money he already had his greedy little paws on.

But he only made some of the "monthly scheduled payments." From the LA Times:

Avenatti wound up making 11 payments to Gardner, misrepresenting them as Whiteside's monthly installments, according to the U.S. attorney's office in Los Angeles. By the time the payments stopped in June 2018, Avenatti had given her about $194,000, prosecutors say.

For the next nine months, they allege, Avenatti deceived Gardner, telling her that Whiteside was breaching the settlement by skipping payments.

$194,000 out of a $3 million settlement.

Meanwhile, Avenatti was the co-owner of a private jet.

Posted by: Ace of Spades at 01:54 PM




Comments

(Jump to bottom of comments)

1 So presidential!!

Posted by: Lizzy at April 22, 2019 01:55 PM (W+vEI)

2 >>$194,000 out of a $3 million settlement.

what is that, maybe 6%?

Posted by: Lizzy at April 22, 2019 01:55 PM (W+vEI)

3 He better do some hard time, like forever

Posted by: fish...thelowercaseone at April 22, 2019 01:56 PM (TwwPG)

4 top 10

Posted by: fox at April 22, 2019 01:56 PM (UuVBv)

5 What a stand up guy.

Posted by: Aetius451AD at April 22, 2019 01:56 PM (ycWCI)

6 Twitch little man, twitch

Posted by: Mark Andrew Edwards, Angry, Radical, Anti-Liberal, and Dangerous: buy ammo at April 22, 2019 01:57 PM (bcbK8)

7 I'm definitely hiring him the next time I try to bilk a major corporation.

Posted by: TheJamesMadison, Read Some Movie Thoughts at April 22, 2019 01:57 PM (q8oeS)

8 Got a cool nickname tho; CPL

Posted by: zeera at April 22, 2019 01:57 PM (3Bzg7)

9 Did we ever hear who paid Avenatti to represent Stormy Daniels?

Posted by: Lizzy at April 22, 2019 01:57 PM (W+vEI)

10 1 So presidential!!
Posted by: Lizzy at April 22, 2019 01:55 PM (W+vEI)

=========

The pundits who pushed him all still have jobs.

Posted by: TheJamesMadison, Read Some Movie Thoughts at April 22, 2019 01:57 PM (q8oeS)

11 This guy gives lawyers a bad name.

Posted by: ALH at April 22, 2019 01:57 PM (uLuPn)

12
This fellow is going to give the legal profession a bad name.

Posted by: Hadrian the Seventh at April 22, 2019 01:57 PM (BWL+E)

13 *Then* - Avenatti is going to take down Drumpf, both in court and at the ballot box!

*Now* - Avenatti? Never heard of him.

Posted by: CNN at April 22, 2019 01:58 PM (nGsFZ)

14
so....... about average for lawyer types .....

Posted by: fixerupper at April 22, 2019 01:58 PM (8XRCm)

15 10 1 So presidential!!
Posted by: Lizzy at April 22, 2019 01:55 PM (W+vEI)

=========

The pundits who pushed him all still have jobs.
Posted by: TheJamesMadison, Read Some Movie Thoughts at April 22, 2019 01:57 PM (q8oeS)

Oh we can't have nice things

Posted by: Mark Andrew Edwards, Angry, Radical, Anti-Liberal, and Dangerous: buy ammo at April 22, 2019 01:58 PM (bcbK8)

16 11 This guy gives lawyers a bad name.
Posted by: ALH at April 22, 2019 01:57 PM (uLuPn)

===========

"You're telling me!"
-Jimmy McGill

Posted by: TheJamesMadison, Read Some Movie Thoughts at April 22, 2019 01:58 PM (q8oeS)

17 The scheme described here by John Sexton is similar to the con Avenatti ran on the paraplegic client:

Self-inflicted paraplegic.

The crime was that the guy got any sort of settlement, at all. He should have had to pay the state.

Avenatti and everyone around him are nothing but the lowest forms of pond scum.

Posted by: ThePrimordialOrderedPair at April 22, 2019 01:58 PM (k2fed)

18 no, seriously, does this guy have some kind of major mental issue?

How in the fuck did he think he would get away with this?

Posted by: Harry Paratestes at April 22, 2019 01:58 PM (GBteo)

19 This guy gives creepy pron lawyers a bad name

Posted by: josephistan at April 22, 2019 01:58 PM (7HtZB)

20 Sharsies? Is this more cult stuff?

Posted by: Grump928(C) at April 22, 2019 01:58 PM (yQpMk)

21 He is front runner material

Posted by: Cat Ass Trophy at April 22, 2019 01:58 PM (dNzKv)

22 11 This guy gives lawyers a bad name.

Posted by: ALH at April 22, 2019 01:57 PM (uLuPn)

12
This fellow is going to give the legal profession a bad name.


Posted by: Hadrian the Seventh at April 22, 2019 01:57 PM (BWL+E)


JINX!

Posted by: ALH at April 22, 2019 01:58 PM (uLuPn)

23
The pundits who pushed him all still have jobs.

-----

Looking at you Stelter.


In disgust, mostly.

Posted by: fixerupper at April 22, 2019 01:59 PM (8XRCm)

24 This guy...

Posted by: steevy at April 22, 2019 01:59 PM (AjVAj)

25 9 Did we ever hear who paid Avenatti to represent Stormy Daniels?

Posted by: Lizzy at April 22, 2019 01:57 PM (W+vEI)

Maybe a bit out of field here, but I'm going to guess Cohen both paid Avenatti and leaked him the Stormy details because he was angry with Trump for not making him Chief of Staff, and not pardoning him for the tax stuff.

Posted by: The Institute at April 22, 2019 01:59 PM (nGsFZ)

26 We decided that after much deliberation, hiring CPL might damage our brand...And that hurts. Trust us on that.

Posted by: NXIVM marketing dept. at April 22, 2019 01:59 PM (NeSSd)

27 Salt of the fucking earth this guy

Posted by: Brian "Tater" Setzer at April 22, 2019 01:59 PM (fdTrp)

28
Avenatti and everyone around him are nothing but the lowest forms of pond scum.

Posted by: ThePrimordialOrderedPair at April 22, 2019 01:58 PM (k2fed)


No, they're the lowest form of fungus that grows on the lowest form of pond scum.

Posted by: Hadrian the Seventh at April 22, 2019 01:59 PM (BWL+E)

29 Definitely Democrat presidential timber!
*shakes head sadly*
What we have missed...

Posted by: Mikey NTH - The Outrage Outlet Calls for Making Nature Beg for Mercy on Earth Day! at April 22, 2019 01:59 PM (hLRSq)

30 You know, I gotta say, I'm not really a fan of this Avenatti guy.

Posted by: BuckIV at April 22, 2019 01:59 PM (PZ2ib)

31 Frankly... I'm amazed he lasted as long as he did. I think the Stormy Daniels thing was his last desperate gasp to get enough money to pay some of this stuff back or at least be so politically connected he was safe. Seriously every new story about him he dug himself deeper into a hole, and not with a shove. More like a truck full of cratering charges.

Posted by: Christopher R Taylor at April 22, 2019 01:59 PM (39g3+)

32 No wonder he's the Democrat frontrunner.

Posted by: Mr. Peebles at April 22, 2019 01:59 PM (oVJmc)

33 9 Did we ever hear who paid Avenatti to represent Stormy Daniels?

Posted by: Lizzy at April 22, 2019 01:57 PM (W+vEI)

I assumed he was working pro boner

Posted by: josephistan at April 22, 2019 02:00 PM (7HtZB)

34 This may be petty, but the few times I saw Avenatti, his suits always had a kind of sheen to them.

Polyester?

High quality material I am not familiar with?

Sprayed down with Pam?

Posted by: Aetius451AD at April 22, 2019 02:00 PM (ycWCI)

35 FIRST!!!!!

Posted by: Sponge at April 22, 2019 02:00 PM (VLp1b)

36 I got a feeling Nike is gonna gut this guy.

Posted by: BignJames at April 22, 2019 02:00 PM (ykq7q)

37
The settlement money came from an NBA player

Posted by: Flawless Male Logic at April 22, 2019 02:00 PM (TAmPV)

38 Imagine if he'd been able to stave this off long enough and somehow got the Dem nomination. He could have gotten away with it, because there's zero chance he'd be prosecuted or even sued at that point.

Posted by: Christopher R Taylor at April 22, 2019 02:00 PM (39g3+)

39 14
so....... about average for lawyer types .....
Posted by: fixerupper at April 22, 2019 01:58 PM (8XRCm)

The fastest way to get disbarred in every state -- and one thing the ethics committees take incredibly seriously -- is mismanaging client funds.

Pretty much every case I ever read in ethics class was people just being sloppy with paperwork, or co-mingling client funds or settlements with their own money. You know, not stealing anything, just being negligent ... I don't think I ever read a case with this kind of blatant outright theft and fraud.

It's unbelievable to me.

Posted by: Harry Paratestes at April 22, 2019 02:00 PM (GBteo)

40

Attorneys go to jail even less often than politicians.

Not a dime will be recovered and paid onto those owed it.

He'll walk and get an advisory job with some scum group paid for by a political machine buying his silence.

And the obligatory 'book deal' payment.

Posted by: In Vino Veritits at April 22, 2019 02:00 PM (UFLLM)

41
JINX!

Posted by: ALH at April 22, 2019 01:58 PM (uLuPn)


Fine! Just go crow on your little pile of... whatever.

Posted by: Hadrian the Seventh at April 22, 2019 02:00 PM (BWL+E)

42 He sounds like an average, run of the mill Democrat.

Posted by: Chris M at April 22, 2019 02:00 PM (eAZVt)

43 This may be petty, but the few times I saw Avenatti, his suits always had a kind of sheen to them.

something oozing out of his pores like a slug

Posted by: Christopher R Taylor at April 22, 2019 02:00 PM (39g3+)

44 Hey, this guy IS Democrat Presidential timber!

My advice to his ethics advisor: start drinking heavily.

Posted by: Deplorable Jay Guevara at April 22, 2019 02:00 PM (9OkQ7)

45 $194,000 out of a $3 million settlement.

I'm willing to bet that that's not nearly as insane as it sounds - compared to what your average lawyer takes out of a settlement (starting with 1/3 to 1/2 off the top and adding in all the imaginary expenses and stuff).

Avenatti probably got some sort of bar award for this. That's how the law profession is.

Posted by: ThePrimordialOrderedPair at April 22, 2019 02:01 PM (k2fed)

46 It's always funny to me when people steal, they spend it in such flagrant ways that make it obvious.

I'd like to think if I stole $2 million, I'd have it buried somewhere and drive around a crappy car and hope no one noticed.

Posted by: Blago at April 22, 2019 02:01 PM (UfkIY)

47 Hey, it's just some guy that did something.

Thoughts and prayers.

Posted by: Les Kinetic at April 22, 2019 02:01 PM (+fPHo)

48 You know, I gotta say, I'm not really a fan of this Avenatti guy.


He's starting to grow on me, like a fungus. He's got some balls I must say.

Posted by: Grump928(C) at April 22, 2019 02:01 PM (yQpMk)

49 46 It's always funny to me when people steal, they spend it in such flagrant ways that make it obvious.

I'd like to think if I stole $2 million, I'd have it buried somewhere and drive around a crappy car and hope no one noticed.
Posted by: Blago at April 22, 2019 02:01 PM (UfkIY)

===========

Frank Lucas agrees.

Posted by: TheJamesMadison, Read Some Movie Thoughts at April 22, 2019 02:01 PM (q8oeS)

50
Fine! Just go crow on your little pile of... whatever.



Posted by: Hadrian the Seventh at April 22, 2019 02:00 PM (BWL+E)


I like Hugs
And I like Kisses
But mostly I like
Help with the Dishes!

Posted by: ALH at April 22, 2019 02:01 PM (uLuPn)

51 The fact that shat asshole never thought anyone would find out a bout this shows just how deep seeded the left wing bias is. He was going to run for president. CNN thought he was a serious candidate.

Posted by: Sponge at April 22, 2019 02:01 PM (VLp1b)

52
-- and one thing the ethics committees take incredibly seriously -- is mismanaging client funds.



-------

Yes. That is the one thing.......

Posted by: fixerupper at April 22, 2019 02:01 PM (8XRCm)

53 Avenatti is going for the title of "Worst Human in American History".

Posted by: AnonyBotymousDrivel at April 22, 2019 02:01 PM (6eEQ+)

54 The fastest way to get disbarred in every state -- and one thing the ethics committees take incredibly seriously -- is mismanaging client funds.

Yeah because while being unethical makes them look bad, ripping off clients hurts everyone's bottom line.

Posted by: Christopher R Taylor at April 22, 2019 02:01 PM (39g3+)

55
It's unbelievable to me.

Posted by: Harry Paratestes at April 22, 2019 02:00 PM (GBteo)


Your naivete is quaint.

Posted by: Hadrian the Seventh at April 22, 2019 02:02 PM (BWL+E)

56 I'm sure Mitt Romney approves of this Avenatti guy.

Posted by: BeckoningChasm at April 22, 2019 02:02 PM (AB9tT)

57 31 Frankly... I'm amazed he lasted as long as he did. I think the Stormy Daniels thing was his last desperate gasp to get enough money to pay some of this stuff back or at least be so politically connected he was safe. Seriously every new story about him he dug himself deeper into a hole, and not with a shove. More like a truck full of cratering charges.
Posted by: Christopher R Taylor at April 22, 2019 01:59 PM (39g3+)

I think so too. He owed taxes to the state, he was in arrears on everything, and he was probably panicking because he realized that if he didn't get very liquid very quickly, he was probably going to jail.

But even if he did cash out... he was still almost definitely going to lose his bar card and probably still go to jail, because there are clear papertrails of him stealing clients funds.

Posted by: Harry Paratestes at April 22, 2019 02:02 PM (GBteo)

58 no, seriously, does this guy have some kind of major mental issue?

How in the fuck did he think he would get away with this?
Posted by: Harry Paratestes


Ask Bernie Madoff. Ponzi scheme gonna ponzi.

Posted by: rickb223 at April 22, 2019 02:02 PM (DKgtk)

59 So who here has a sister?

------

me me me me me me me me me me me me !!!!!!!

Posted by: Ben Shapiro at April 22, 2019 02:02 PM (8XRCm)

60 Posted by: Blago at April 22, 2019 02:01 PM (UfkIY)

I drive around a c***** car and I don't even have two million dollars.

Posted by: FenelonSpoke at April 22, 2019 02:02 PM (FSPNP)

61 I believe the correct term is "CNN Legal Analyst Michael Avvenetti"

Posted by: RoyalOil, Vicroy Canadian Territories at April 22, 2019 02:02 PM (TN1P5)

62 57 I'm sure Mitt Romney approves of this Avenatti guy.

Posted by: BeckoningChasm at April 22, 2019 02:02 PM (AB9tT)


They were college roommates.

Posted by: ALH at April 22, 2019 02:02 PM (uLuPn)

63 True MUMR sightings?

Posted by: Aetius451AD at April 22, 2019 02:03 PM (ycWCI)

64 CNN nor myself have never in any way promoted Michael Avennatti as presidential.

Posted by: Brian "Castrati" Stelter at April 22, 2019 02:03 PM (BDZWU)

65 And remember, this doesn't include any of the Nike bribery scandal. That's an entirely different grand jury.

I have to admit, when I first saw Avenatti, I thought he was your typical sleazeball. I was way off. He's a tremendous, off the charts sleazeball.

Posted by: Broseidon - New Work Computer, Same Work Ethic at April 22, 2019 02:03 PM (oZ6kz)

66 Your naivete is quaint.

Posted by: Hadrian the Seventh at April 22, 2019 02:02 PM (BWL+E)

Have you ever heard of a case of this kind of blatant outright theft of client funds?

He just straight up stole the money.

Posted by: Harry Paratestes at April 22, 2019 02:03 PM (GBteo)

67 I thought all those lawyer stories were jokes?

Posted by: blaster at April 22, 2019 02:03 PM (9VeU0)

68 I think so too. He owed taxes to the state, he was in arrears on everything, and he was probably panicking because he realized that if he didn't get very liquid very quickly, he was probably going to jail.

But even if he did cash out... he was still almost definitely going to lose his bar card and probably still go to jail, because there are clear papertrails of him stealing clients funds.
Posted by: Harry Paratestes


He was looking to score enough cash to ghost.

Posted by: rickb223 at April 22, 2019 02:03 PM (DKgtk)

69 Raiding the trust account is a very common way to get the State Bar to revoke your license forever.
That guy is just a creep.

Posted by: pj at April 22, 2019 02:03 PM (qlTN9)

70 MUMR!

Now this party is started!

Posted by: Mark Andrew Edwards, Angry, Radical, Anti-Liberal, and Dangerous: buy ammo at April 22, 2019 02:03 PM (bcbK8)

71 Flipping guy! Single-handedly ruining the reputations of lawyers everywhere.

Posted by: jd at April 22, 2019 02:03 PM (+evAm)

72 "The fastest way to get disbarred in every state -- and one thing the ethics committees take incredibly seriously -- is mismanaging client funds."

Darn straight - your malpractice insurance and your IOLTA account better be squared away properly or else.

Posted by: Mikey NTH - The Outrage Outlet Calls for Making Nature Beg for Mercy on Earth Day! at April 22, 2019 02:04 PM (hLRSq)

73 MUMR has gone cookoo!

Posted by: Chris M at April 22, 2019 02:04 PM (eAZVt)

74 no, seriously, does this guy have some kind of major mental issue?

How in the fuck did he think he would get away with this?
======

These people are sociopaths/psychopaths. Getting caught doesn't even factor in. They think they are so much smarter than everyone else.

Posted by: bicentennialguy at April 22, 2019 02:04 PM (vg8iE)

75 It's always funny to me when people steal, they spend it in such flagrant ways that make it obvious.

Like Gentleman Jimmy in Goodfellas dealing with the knuckleheads coming in with mink coats and new Cadillacs after the Lufthansa heist. Lay low a while.

Of course in his case it was just "I don't want to pay anyone any of it and keep all the money" but still the principle of hiding your theft at least a year or two stands.

Posted by: Christopher R Taylor at April 22, 2019 02:04 PM (39g3+)

76 Clown college roommates.

Posted by: BeckoningChasm at April 22, 2019 02:04 PM (AB9tT)

77 Have you ever heard of a case of this kind of blatant outright theft of client funds?

He just straight up stole the money.
Posted by: Harry Paratestes at April 22, 2019 02:03 PM (GBteo)

The sad part is most of us non-lawyers assume lawyers do this kind of crap all the time.

Posted by: Aetius451AD at April 22, 2019 02:04 PM (ycWCI)

78
Posted by: Aetius451AD at April 22, 2019 02:03 PM (ycWCI)

-----

Nope. MUMRS stuff is here then gone. POOF

This is BSG trying to get his own dick in his mouth gain...

Posted by: Ben Shapiro at April 22, 2019 02:04 PM (8XRCm)

79 Dershowitz was black listed from CNN in preference to Avenatti.

Fox clip on the Tube.

Posted by: Braenyard - US should impose 12 mile extra-territorial jurisdiction at the Mexican border at April 22, 2019 02:04 PM (nhBb/)

80 74 MUMR!

Now this party is started!

Posted by: Mark Andrew Edwards, Angry, Radical, Anti-Liberal, and Dangerous: buy ammo at April 22, 2019 02:03 PM (bcbK8


All right, who cut the cheese?

Posted by: ALH at April 22, 2019 02:04 PM (uLuPn)

81 gone?

Posted by: Grump928(C) at April 22, 2019 02:04 PM (yQpMk)

82 79 It's always funny to me when people steal, they spend it in such flagrant ways that make it obvious.

Like Gentleman Jimmy in Goodfellas dealing with the knuckleheads coming in with mink coats and new Cadillacs after the Lufthansa heist. Lay low a while.

Of course in his case it was just "I don't want to pay anyone any of it and keep all the money" but still the principle of hiding your theft at least a year or two stands.
Posted by: Christopher R Taylor at April 22, 2019 02:04 PM (39g3+)

============

That's exactly where my mind went first.

Thought I settled on an American Gangster reference instead.

Posted by: TheJamesMadison, Read Some Movie Thoughts at April 22, 2019 02:04 PM (q8oeS)

83 Sharsies? And I thought it was Avenotti

I can't even with this spelling

Posted by: Total Control Racist at April 22, 2019 02:04 PM (2+nRx)

84 46 It's always funny to me when people steal, they spend it in such flagrant ways that make it obvious.

I'd like to think if I stole $2 million, I'd have it buried somewhere and drive around a crappy car and hope no one noticed.
Posted by: Blago at April 22, 2019 02:01 PM (UfkIY)


That bespeaks intelligence.

Posted by: Deplorable Jay Guevara at April 22, 2019 02:04 PM (9OkQ7)

85 I used to think Avenatti was running for President to pay off his debts.

But now I don't think he had any intention of that. I think he honestly wanted to be President to keep himself out of jail.

Posted by: Broseidon - New Work Computer, Same Work Ethic at April 22, 2019 02:05 PM (oZ6kz)

86 88 46 It's always funny to me when people steal, they spend it in such flagrant ways that make it obvious.

I'd like to think if I stole $2 million, I'd have it buried somewhere and drive around a crappy car and hope no one noticed.
Posted by: Blago at April 22, 2019 02:01 PM (UfkIY)

That bespeaks intelligence.
Posted by: Deplorable Jay Guevara at April 22, 2019 02:04 PM (9OkQ7)

============

Keep your job. Filter the money to a bank account in small doses.

Posted by: TheJamesMadison, Read Some Movie Thoughts at April 22, 2019 02:05 PM (q8oeS)

87 he was still almost definitely going to lose his bar card and probably still go to jail, because there are clear papertrails of him stealing clients funds.

Yeah... unless he really won the DNC nomination. Then he walks.

Posted by: Christopher R Taylor at April 22, 2019 02:05 PM (39g3+)

88
I bet he could've kept on getting away with it, if happened jumped into the limelight with both of his feet in the Stormy thing.

Fame makes people crazy.

Posted by: Yudhishthira's Dice at April 22, 2019 02:05 PM (AzW6q)

89
Have you ever heard of a case of this kind of blatant outright theft of client funds?

He just straight up stole the money.

Posted by: Harry Paratestes at April 22, 2019 02:03 PM (GBteo)


James Gould Cozzens's By Love Possessed basically has this same thing. An revered elderly lawyer is found by his partners to have misappropriated a huge sum of money.

Posted by: Hadrian the Seventh at April 22, 2019 02:05 PM (BWL+E)

90 Trump is unfit to be Presdent , so let's bring back Presdent Obama so the world will love us again !! The econermy was grate under Obama and we did not have any teroriist attacks or wars either. We loved are Presdent of Coler... Did you ???

Posted by: Mary Clogginstien from Brattleboro (aka: Obamaboro), VT at April 22, 2019 02:06 PM (qM84C)

91 77 MUMR has gone cookoo!
Posted by: Chris M at April 22, 2019 02:04 PM (eAZVt)

MUMR left cuckoo in the rear view mirror several exits ago.

Posted by: josephistan at April 22, 2019 02:06 PM (7HtZB)

92 Was he going to eventually kill his clients when he couldn't pay them? Because they weren't going away.

Posted by: Can't resist temptation at April 22, 2019 02:06 PM (j8uQ3)

93 94 Trump is unfit to be Presdent , so let's bring back Presdent Obama so the world will love us again !! The econermy was grate under Obama and we did not have any teroriist attacks or wars either. We loved are Presdent of Coler... Did you ???
Posted by: Mary Clogginstien from Brattleboro (aka: Obamaboro), VT at April 22, 2019 02:06 PM (qM84C)

============

I know that's you David French.

Posted by: TheJamesMadison, Read Some Movie Thoughts at April 22, 2019 02:06 PM (q8oeS)

94 Someone I know, who shall remain nameless, stole $300k from one of my senile relatives and blew it all on cruises and the like. At the end, they had nothing.

I was mindboggling.

Posted by: Grump928(C) at April 22, 2019 02:06 PM (yQpMk)

95 Keep your job. Filter the money to a bank account in small doses.
Posted by: TheJamesMadison, Read Some Movie Thoughts at A




you never ever let that money into your bank account.

Posted by: yankeefifth at April 22, 2019 02:06 PM (MTjB1)

96 Frankly... I'm amazed he lasted as long as he did.

One-man Ponzi scheme.

Posted by: Lance McCormick, too busy working at work at April 22, 2019 02:06 PM (84QUd)

97 I'm thinking soap on a rope for this guy...and the guards take the rope.

Posted by: Diogenes at April 22, 2019 02:06 PM (0tfLf)

98 The victims, in this case, were Miami Heat basketball player Hassan Whiteside and his ex-girlfriend Alexis Gardner. Gardner was apparently threatening to bring legal action against Whiteside.

Legal action? Criminal?

It's not even legal to reach a civil settlement in compensation for a criminal act - if that's what happened, here.

NBA player. NBA girlfriend. Scumbag lawyer. I can't say that I care about any of them.

Posted by: ThePrimordialOrderedPair at April 22, 2019 02:06 PM (k2fed)

99 Hm.

That all sounds highly illegal.

Posted by: WitchDoktor, as if anyone gives a shit at April 22, 2019 02:06 PM (tVWQB)

100 Filter the money to a bank account in small doses.


Declare it as gambling winnings and pay tax on it.

Posted by: Grump928(C) at April 22, 2019 02:07 PM (yQpMk)

101 The problem with stealing a lot of money then not spending it is... why steal the money at all then??

Posted by: Christopher R Taylor at April 22, 2019 02:07 PM (39g3+)

102 99 Keep your job. Filter the money to a bank account in small doses.
Posted by: TheJamesMadison, Read Some Movie Thoughts at A




you never ever let that money into your bank account.
Posted by: yankeefifth at April 22, 2019 02:06 PM (MTjB1)

=========

Swiss bank account!

Posted by: TheJamesMadison, Read Some Movie Thoughts at April 22, 2019 02:07 PM (q8oeS)

103 I'm sure Mitt Romney approves of this Avenatti guy.

Posted by: BeckoningChasm at April 22, 2019 02:02 PM (AB9tT)


They were college roommates.

+++

Mitt combed his hair in boarding school. So traumatic Avenotti shaved it all off

Posted by: Total Control Racist at April 22, 2019 02:07 PM (2+nRx)

104 this guy is giving scummy lawyers a bad name

Posted by: Rick in SK at April 22, 2019 02:07 PM (FZYNt)

105 lol, he does make you miss the days of real men like madoff, men who knew how to steal.

Posted by: yankeefifth at April 22, 2019 02:07 PM (MTjB1)

106 88 46 It's always funny to me when people steal, they spend it in such flagrant ways that make it obvious.

I'd like to think if I stole $2 million, I'd have it buried somewhere and drive around a crappy car and hope no one noticed.
Posted by: Blago at April 22, 2019 02:01 PM (UfkIY)

That bespeaks intelligence.
Posted by: Deplorable Jay Guevara at April 22, 2019 02:04 PM (9OkQ7)

Don't buy anything!

https://tinyurl.com/yyuz52l4

Posted by: James Conway at April 22, 2019 02:07 PM (nGsFZ)

107 104 Filter the money to a bank account in small doses.


Declare it as gambling winnings and pay tax on it.
Posted by: Grump928(C) at April 22, 2019 02:07 PM (yQpMk)

==========

Then, reinvest it in your meth empire.

Posted by: TheJamesMadison, Read Some Movie Thoughts at April 22, 2019 02:07 PM (q8oeS)

108
Trump is unfit to be Presdent , so let's bring back Presdent Obama so the world will love us again !!

No point wasting Christian kisses on a heathen idol's foot.

Posted by: Hadrian the Seventh at April 22, 2019 02:07 PM (BWL+E)

109 So, you tell the client they just stopped sending the money, and you think you'll get away with that?


He's gotta be full-on, verified, cracker-box crazy.

Posted by: Mr. Peebles at April 22, 2019 02:07 PM (oVJmc)

110 104 Filter the money to a bank account in small doses.


Declare it as gambling winnings and pay tax on it.

Posted by: Grump928(C) at April 22, 2019 02:07 PM (yQpMk)


Start a church. The IRS doesn't screw with God.

Posted by: ALH at April 22, 2019 02:08 PM (uLuPn)

111 The sad part is most of us non-lawyers assume lawyers do this kind of crap all the time.
Posted by: Aetius451AD at April 22, 2019 02:04 PM (ycWCI)

Haha. No, I've never heard of anything this blatant before. Inflating bills, paying fake "experts," etc... sure, maybe. Those are like the horror stories in legal ethics.

Just straight up spending money out of a client fund?

There are a lot of safeguards in place against it, first off, and second off -- if the client says anything to the ethics committee, they will 100% take it seriously and look in to it, and how do you even pretend to hide the fact that you just transferred the money from a client trust to a bank account of an LLC that you control?

There's absolutely no plausible deniability there. No way to defend that conduct.

Posted by: Harry Paratestes at April 22, 2019 02:08 PM (GBteo)

112 54 Avenatti is going for the title of "Worst Human in American History".
Posted by: AnonyBotymousDrivel at April 22, 2019 02:01 PM (6eEQ+)


Pfffft.

Posted by: George Soros at April 22, 2019 02:08 PM (9OkQ7)

113 >>It's always funny to me when people steal, they spend it in such flagrant ways that make it obvious.

And sometimes they would end up with Jimmy Burke's ice pick in their ear.

Posted by: JackStraw at April 22, 2019 02:08 PM (/tuJf)

114 The fact that shat asshole never thought anyone would find out a bout this shows just how deep seeded the left wing bias is. He was going to run for president. CNN thought he was a serious candidate.

He was just trying to outrun the coverage, so to speak. He wanted a big time paying gig to pay off his debts.

Posted by: Concerned People's Front, Boofing Chapter at April 22, 2019 02:08 PM (NjJUT)

115 You can't write fiction too far out there for it to be scoffed at these days.

I mean the Mayor of New York City, just said he wants to ban skyscrapers. (In best James Gregory voice...the damn Mayor of New York...did you hear what I said?)

Someone might want to tell him that there are three choices...up, down, or side to side.

Posted by: Circa (Insert Year Here) at April 22, 2019 02:08 PM (zRiIZ)

116 Start a church. The IRS doesn't screw with God.
Posted by: ALH at April 22, 2019 02:08 PM (uLuPn)

----

Or a car wash.

Posted by: fixerupper at April 22, 2019 02:08 PM (8XRCm)

117 115
There's absolutely no plausible deniability there. No way to defend that conduct.
Posted by: Harry Paratestes at April 22, 2019 02:08 PM (GBteo)

===========

"I'm leading a crusade against Trump!"
-Avenatti

"Sounds good to me!"
-Hawaiian judge

Posted by: TheJamesMadison, Read Some Movie Thoughts at April 22, 2019 02:08 PM (q8oeS)

118 Sri Lanka will be out of the headlines by tomorrow. ROP group involved. So some people did something to some other people. We will never know the motive. Local crime story.

Posted by: Cat Ass Trophy at April 22, 2019 02:08 PM (dNzKv)

119 "Gillibrand's father and stepmother, who are second cousins"



You were saying from your highly cultured NYC country club about the Dirty South?

Something about cousin-f*cking as I recall....

Posted by: Bitter Clinger at April 22, 2019 02:08 PM (ZJ/74)

120 so, you know, somewhere in all of this was a lot of cocaine. when he started, in the middle or all the way through.


you do have to give him credit. he nearly got away with it.

the stormy move was close to genius, though not close enough.

Posted by: yankeefifth at April 22, 2019 02:09 PM (MTjB1)

121 wait. every lawyer doesn't do this shit?

Posted by: x at April 22, 2019 02:09 PM (nFwvY)

122 Every damn CNNMSNBC talking clown head slobbed this criminal's knob. Especially Lawrence 'The Hammer' O'Donnell.

Posted by: kallisto at April 22, 2019 02:09 PM (dyaak)

123 Has he posted his innocence in Twitter yet?

Posted by: Sponge at April 22, 2019 02:09 PM (VLp1b)

124 119 You can't write fiction too far out there for it to be scoffed at these days.

I mean the Mayor of New York City, just said he wants to ban skyscrapers. (In best James Gregory voice...the damn Mayor of New York...did you hear what I said?)

Someone might want to tell him that there are three choices...up, down, or side to side.
Posted by: Circa (Insert Year Here) at April 22, 2019 02:08 PM (zRiIZ)

=========

He really does feel like a rejected character from Atlas Shrugged, doesn't he?

Posted by: TheJamesMadison, Read Some Movie Thoughts at April 22, 2019 02:09 PM (q8oeS)

125 sex cult thread only up for an hour?

sex cultists these days, no stamina

Posted by: vmom superior, order of sweet merciless ninjas at April 22, 2019 02:09 PM (dm05u)

126 Declare it as gambling winnings and pay tax on it.

Posted by: Grump928(C) at April 22, 2019 02:07 PM (yQpMk)



That's the deal, isn't it?
The govt wants its cut.

Posted by: Braenyard - US should impose 12 mile extra-territorial jurisdiction at the Mexican border at April 22, 2019 02:09 PM (nhBb/)

127 At his level, he is dealing with a lot of people just as morally bankrupt as he is. I would not be surprised if he gets whacked one day...especially if he gets off.

Posted by: trainer at April 22, 2019 02:09 PM (7EbAY)

128 He could have gotten away with it, because there's zero chance he'd be prosecuted or even sued at that point.
Posted by: Christopher R Taylor


And I would have gotten away with it, if it hadn't been for those pesky....everyone on planet Earth.

Posted by: Old man CPL at April 22, 2019 02:09 PM (NeSSd)

129 Guys, like, you're missing the, like, point here. Avenatti didn't, like, occlude or construct justice with the, like, Rushans.

Posted by: AOC, sooper jeanyus at April 22, 2019 02:09 PM (fq72/)

130 Or a car wash.


Arcade. Or an arcade in a car wash!

Posted by: Grump928(C) at April 22, 2019 02:09 PM (yQpMk)

131 The other film I keep thinking of with this guy is Fargo, which all went so horribly wrong with a guy just trying to pay back his embezzlement before it got found out.

Posted by: Christopher R Taylor at April 22, 2019 02:09 PM (39g3+)

132 Avenatti really should kill himself.

Posted by: Sharkman at April 22, 2019 02:09 PM (hUPKb)

133 In 2003, George Washington University Law School established the Michael J. Avenatti Award for Excellence in Pre-Trial and Trial Advocacy

I'm sure they must be very proud...

Posted by: Timon at April 22, 2019 02:09 PM (dKm4U)

134 It's always funny to me when people steal, they spend it in such flagrant ways that make it obvious.

I'd like to think if I stole $2 million, I'd have it buried somewhere and drive around a crappy car and hope no one noticed.
Posted by: Blago at April 22, 2019 02:01 PM (UfkIY)


Criminals are generally stupid/impulsive because if they were smart/self-disciplined then they wouldn't need to commit crimes. When you're smart, you can generally see the likely outcomes of bad decisions, and you can make plans to accomplish your goals without breaking the law.

Posted by: Colorado Alex In Exile at April 22, 2019 02:09 PM (wCmLp)

135 54 Avenatti is going for the title of "Worst Human in American History".
Posted by: AnonyBotymousDrivel at April 22, 2019 02:01 PM (6eEQ+)

Eh. Plenty of competition there. Let's open the bidding with Michael Jackson.

Posted by: Circa (Insert Year Here) at April 22, 2019 02:10 PM (zRiIZ)

136 Every Avenatti story needs to link to CNN taking him seriously as a 2020 dem candidate. In fact, we should create an entire faux campaign as if he is running. Considering the Klown Kar the dems have now, he would fit right in.

Posted by: IanDeal at April 22, 2019 02:10 PM (XH/wc)

137 That settlement probably wiped Whiteside out financially. Sort of karmic tragedy for all parties including the other jet partner.

Posted by: Ever at April 22, 2019 02:10 PM (Pn0FW)

138 Reminder: Avenatti worked for the Clintons in the 90's before going to law school. Reported to Rahm Emanuel.

I doubt he magically came out of nowhere to become a thorn in Trump's side.

https://preview.tinyurl.com/y9eknjqs

Posted by: Lizzy at April 22, 2019 02:10 PM (W+vEI)

139 "Gillibrand's father and stepmother, who are second cousins"


Probably just for financial purposes, and no more a marriage than the Clintons'.

Posted by: Mr. Peebles at April 22, 2019 02:10 PM (oVJmc)

140 Avenatti makes Saul Goodman cringe

Posted by: vmom superior, order of sweet merciless ninjas at April 22, 2019 02:10 PM (dm05u)

141 138
Criminals are generally stupid/impulsive because if they were smart/self-disciplined then they wouldn't need to commit crimes. When you're smart, you can generally see the likely outcomes of bad decisions, and you can make plans to accomplish your goals without breaking the law.
Posted by: Colorado Alex In Exile at April 22, 2019 02:09 PM (wCmLp)

============

My fifth book is about a gang in 1874 Missouri. After their successful train heist, one of them goes to a brothel and doesn't come out until he's broke.

Posted by: TheJamesMadison, Read Some Movie Thoughts at April 22, 2019 02:10 PM (q8oeS)

142 In 2003, George Washington University Law School established the Michael J. Avenatti Award for Excellence in Pre-Trial and Trial Advocacy

HAHAHAHAHAHAHA

Posted by: Circa (Insert Year Here) at April 22, 2019 02:11 PM (zRiIZ)

143 It's solid granite if you go down.

Posted by: Braenyard - US should impose 12 mile extra-territorial jurisdiction at the Mexican border at April 22, 2019 02:11 PM (nhBb/)

144 Fuck this shitsack sideways with a flaming, barbed-wire-wrapped pineapple, rammed home with a red hot poker. This scumfuck embodies the worst possible stereotype of lawyers and I hope he spends life in federal PMITA prison.

Posted by: Insomniac - Founder, Farmer Liberation Front at April 22, 2019 02:11 PM (NWiLs)

145 He's like the lawyer in Carlito's Way. We can only hope he ends up the same way.

Posted by: Can't resist temptation at April 22, 2019 02:11 PM (j8uQ3)

146 Avenatti really should kill himself.


I wouldn't bet against it. He doesn't look like the type to do well in prison.

Posted by: Grump928(C) at April 22, 2019 02:11 PM (yQpMk)

147 144 Avenatti makes Saul Goodman cringe
Posted by: vmom superior, order of sweet merciless ninjas at April 22, 2019 02:10 PM (dm05u)

==========

Slippin' Jimmy's fine with him, though.

Posted by: TheJamesMadison, Read Some Movie Thoughts at April 22, 2019 02:11 PM (q8oeS)

148
Arcade???

When was the last time anybody seen an arcade??

Posted by: fixerupper at April 22, 2019 02:11 PM (8XRCm)

149 Have you ever heard of a case of this kind of blatant outright theft of client funds?

He just straight up stole the money.

Posted by: Harry Paratestes at April 22, 2019 02:03 PM (GBteo)


Bastard!

Posted by: Morris Dees at April 22, 2019 02:11 PM (9OkQ7)

150 He's fucked, Jim.

Posted by: Bones at April 22, 2019 02:11 PM (hjaPQ)

151 Looking at you Stelter.


In disgust, mostly.
Posted by: fixerupper at April 22, 2019 01:59 PM (8XRCm)
===

Fat shamer!

Posted by: Brian "I don't gaslight" Stelter at April 22, 2019 02:11 PM (BDZWU)

152 In 2003, George Washington University Law School established the Michael J. Avenatti Award for Excellence in Pre-Trial and Trial Advocacy

I'm sure they must be very proud...
Posted by: Timon at April 22, 2019 02:09 PM (dKm4U)

Well, I guess if your plan is to keep the entire settlement for yourself anyways, then it's easier to be a zealous advocate for your client.

Posted by: Harry Paratestes at April 22, 2019 02:11 PM (GBteo)

153 He really does feel like a rejected character from Atlas Shrugged, doesn't he?
Posted by: TheJamesMadison, Read Some Movie Thoughts at April 22, 2019 02:09 PM (q8oeS)

"Nah. Nobody would believe anything this stupid." - Ayn Rand, sending a half-writren page to the garbage can.

Posted by: Cato, Media Delenda Est at April 22, 2019 02:12 PM (J+mig)

154 Gentleman, we have our Treasury Secretary!

Posted by: Bernie Sanders at April 22, 2019 02:12 PM (16OL0)

155 No matter what course in life you choose, choose to be the best you can be. In prison this fellow will be able to hold "how to" seminars for the desert off his fellow inmates food tray.

Posted by: Anchovy at April 22, 2019 02:12 PM (B3kya)

156 Another Omar tweet uncovered from 2017.



https://tinyurl.com/y5xebqwp

Posted by: Ha at April 22, 2019 02:12 PM (MAstk)

157 When was the last time anybody seen an arcade??


I've got friends who own one, and just opened a second.

Posted by: Mr. Peebles at April 22, 2019 02:12 PM (oVJmc)

158
Funfact!!!

Sterotypes are based on truth.

Posted by: fixerupper at April 22, 2019 02:12 PM (8XRCm)

159 Rather than taking his fee of about $1 million, plus expenses,

That's what lawyers call "fair".

LOL. What a joke.

Posted by: ThePrimordialOrderedPair at April 22, 2019 02:12 PM (k2fed)

160 This guy should chair the House Intelligence Committee. It would be an improvement.

Posted by: Puddin Head - CNN at April 22, 2019 02:12 PM (2LelM)

161 Fuck this shitsack sideways with a flaming, barbed-wire-wrapped pineapple, rammed home with a red hot poker. This scumfuck embodies the worst possible stereotype of lawyers and I hope he spends life in federal PMITA prison.
Posted by: Insomniac


Soooooo, no establishing awards from you?

Posted by: No Bars held at April 22, 2019 02:12 PM (NeSSd)

162 157 He really does feel like a rejected character from Atlas Shrugged, doesn't he?
Posted by: TheJamesMadison, Read Some Movie Thoughts at April 22, 2019 02:09 PM (q8oeS)

"Nah. Nobody would believe anything this stupid." - Ayn Rand, sending a half-writren page to the garbage can.
Posted by: Cato, Media Delenda Est at April 22, 2019 02:12 PM (J+mig)

=========

Instead, she went with female protagonists who have a thing for just a little bit of rapiness in their sexual partners.

Posted by: TheJamesMadison, Read Some Movie Thoughts at April 22, 2019 02:12 PM (q8oeS)

163 152
Arcade???

When was the last time anybody seen an arcade??
Posted by: fixerupper

dude come to my mom's basement

Posted by: 14yo with a PS4 and Xbox at April 22, 2019 02:12 PM (FZYNt)

164 "Nah. Nobody would believe anything this stupid." - Ayn Rand, sending a half-writren page to the garbage can.
Posted by: Cato, Media Delenda Est at April 22, 2019 02:12 PM (J+mig)

Ah ha! I see the joke: Ayn Rand 'self editing'!

Posted by: Aetius451AD at April 22, 2019 02:12 PM (ycWCI)

165 152
Arcade???

When was the last time anybody seen an arcade??
Posted by: fixerupper at April 22, 2019 02:11 PM (8XRCm)

There's a few. One good one in Portland.

Then there's the bigger 'entertainment hubs' like Gameworks or Mac and Buster...not the same thing, though.

Posted by: Mark Andrew Edwards, Angry, Radical, Anti-Liberal, and Dangerous: buy ammo at April 22, 2019 02:13 PM (bcbK8)

166 I would have thought the last thing you want to do when engaging in these shenanigans is to draw national attention to yourself.

Posted by: Eisenhorn at April 22, 2019 02:13 PM (uGHnY)

167 When was the last time anybody seen an arcade??


No one has to actually use it. It just explains the all-cash business income.

Posted by: Grump928(C) at April 22, 2019 02:13 PM (yQpMk)

168 Favorite guest host on that bastion of morality, that Oliver Cromwell of the airwaves, CNN.

Posted by: joncelli the prophet, now accepting donations at April 22, 2019 02:13 PM (RD7QR)

169 When was the last time anybody seen an arcade??

Well we have upgraded just a bit,

Posted by: Dave and Busters at April 22, 2019 02:13 PM (j8uQ3)

170 George Washington University about to announce their new Lori Loughlin Award for Academic Testing Excellence.

Posted by: Broseidon - New Work Computer, Same Work Ethic at April 22, 2019 02:13 PM (oZ6kz)

171
Criminals are generally stupid/impulsive because if they were smart/self-disciplined then they wouldn't need to commit crimes. When you're smart, you can generally see the likely outcomes of bad decisions, and you can make plans to accomplish your goals without breaking the law.

Posted by: Colorado Alex In Exile at April 22, 2019 02:09 PM (wCmLp)


Criminals can be crafty but they're not smart.

Posted by: Flawless Male Logic at April 22, 2019 02:13 PM (TAmPV)

172 Someone I know, who shall remain nameless, stole $300k from one of my senile relatives and blew it all on cruises and the like. At the end, they had nothing.

I was mindboggling.
Posted by: Grump928(C) at April 22, 2019 02:06 PM (yQpMk)


My grandparents spend probably six figures supporting my aunt and uncle by paying their mortgage, buying school stuff for my cousins, buying trucks for my cousins, and paying the costs of year-round baseball. It's basically torn the family apart because mom was not happy and told Grandpa a few years ago that he needed to take steps to protect his assets before grandma had to go into a nursing home or else Medicaid would be all over that shit.

Posted by: Colorado Alex In Exile at April 22, 2019 02:13 PM (wCmLp)

173 Chrissie 'Tingles' Matthews couldn't contain his spittle spew bragging on how CPL was Trump's worst nightmare.

Posted by: kallisto at April 22, 2019 02:13 PM (dyaak)

174 Sounds to me like Avenatti had Peter Angelos hero-worship.

But not the expertise in bilking money out of the system.

"Hey, why bother negotiating contingency fees....I'll just steal the money and repay it when I can. No biggie."

Posted by: WitchDoktor, as if anyone gives a shit at April 22, 2019 02:13 PM (tVWQB)

175
I wouldn't bet against it. He doesn't look like the type to do well in prison

+++

Because he's an asshole basically.

Posted by: Total Control Racist at April 22, 2019 02:13 PM (zPKGP)

176 Fuck this shitsack sideways with a flaming, barbed-wire-wrapped pineapple, rammed home with a red hot poker. This scumfuck embodies the worst possible stereotype of lawyers and I hope he spends life in federal PMITA prison.
=====

This statement is also applicable to 90+% of Congress and the federal government.

Posted by: bicentennialguy at April 22, 2019 02:13 PM (vg8iE)

177 Avenatti really should kill himself.
Posted by: Sharkman at April 22, 2019 02:09 PM (hUPKb)

--------

Oh, I have that at about 5-1 odds.

As I mentioned before, I was acquainted with a mobbed up lawyer who was so similar to Avenatti that they could be brothers.

He ended up eating a bullet after the DPD finally caught onto him and his hijinks.

Posted by: Yudhishthira's Dice at April 22, 2019 02:13 PM (AzW6q)

178 171 When was the last time anybody seen an arcade??


No one has to actually use it. It just explains the all-cash business income.
Posted by: Grump928(C) at April 22, 2019 02:13 PM (yQpMk)

==========

You just need a Danny to run it for you.

Posted by: TheJamesMadison, Read Some Movie Thoughts at April 22, 2019 02:13 PM (q8oeS)

179 Criminals can be crafty but they're not smart.
Posted by: Flawless Male Logic at April 22, 2019 02:13 PM (TAmPV)


Clever, but not smart. Like beagles... or grad students.

Posted by: Colorado Alex In Exile at April 22, 2019 02:13 PM (wCmLp)

180 Reminder: Avenatti worked for the Clintons in the 90's before going to law school. Reported to Rahm Emanuel.

I doubt he magically came out of nowhere to become a thorn in Trump's side.

https://preview.tinyurl.com/y9eknjqs

Posted by: Lizzy at April 22, 2019 02:10 PM (W+vEI)


Someone should alert David French so he can get his deploring up-to-date.

Posted by: Mikey NTH - The Outrage Outlet Calls for Making Nature Beg for Mercy on Earth Day! at April 22, 2019 02:13 PM (hLRSq)

181 I've got friends who own one, and just opened a second.


Perhaps they are laundering money.


And business is good.

Posted by: Grump928(C) at April 22, 2019 02:14 PM (yQpMk)

182 "In 2003, George Washington University Law School established the Michael J. Avenatti Award for Excellence in Pre-Trial and Trial Advocacy"

How would you like to have that Award on the wall of your office?

Posted by: Mikey NTH - The Outrage Outlet Calls for Making Nature Beg for Mercy on Earth Day! at April 22, 2019 02:14 PM (hLRSq)

183 185 I've got friends who own one, and just opened a second.


Perhaps they are laundering money.


And business is good.
Posted by: Grump928(C) at April 22, 2019 02:14 PM (yQpMk)

===========

It's what mattress stores are for.

Posted by: TheJamesMadison, Read Some Movie Thoughts at April 22, 2019 02:14 PM (q8oeS)

184 138 Criminals are generally stupid/impulsive because if they were smart/self-disciplined then they wouldn't need to commit crimes. When you're smart, you can generally see the likely outcomes of bad decisions, and you can make plans to accomplish your goals without breaking the law.
Posted by: Colorado Alex In Exile at April 22, 2019 02:09 PM (wCmLp)


That's my take as well. Some idiot knocks over a liquor store, scores $200 plus five years in the jug, which comes to about $0.11 a day. Great plan.

And further to your point, I've previously told the story of the guy who burgled houses and used to call the victim and offer to sell him back his own stuff, not having grasped the small but noticeable flaw in his plan.

And when he got out of prison, he did the exact same thing again. Definitely a candidate for the National Academy.

Posted by: Morris Dees at April 22, 2019 02:14 PM (9OkQ7)

185 Saturday on MSNBC's 'AM Joy,' Georgetown Law School professor Paul Butler complimented his former student and Stormy Daniels attorney Michael Avenatti for trying to "save democracy" from Trump.

**scratches Georgetown off the list too**

Posted by: Timon at April 22, 2019 02:14 PM (dKm4U)

186 Instead, she went with female protagonists who have a thing for just a little bit of rapiness in their sexual partners.

"And being slapped around!"
--Chick from Fountainhead

Posted by: Christopher R Taylor at April 22, 2019 02:15 PM (39g3+)

187 If this is the so-called "Saviour of American Democracy", I say we just bin the whole project and go back to feudalism.

Posted by: Warai-otoko at April 22, 2019 02:15 PM (AURKQ)

188 Instead, she went with female protagonists who have a thing for just a little bit of rapiness in their sexual partners.
Posted by: TheJamesMadison, Read Some Movie Thoughts at April 22, 2019 02:12 PM (q8oeS)


Now now, it's not rape if he's a dominant, superior Objectivist man.

Posted by: Colorado Alex In Exile at April 22, 2019 02:15 PM (wCmLp)

189 191 If this is the so-called "Saviour of American Democracy", I say we just bin the whole project and go back to feudalism.
Posted by: Warai-otoko at April 22, 2019 02:15 PM (AURKQ)

===========

How about federalism?

Can we try that one again?

Posted by: TheJamesMadison, Read Some Movie Thoughts at April 22, 2019 02:15 PM (q8oeS)

190 he's corrupt enough to be the Dem nominee, but lacking the guile to pay or threaten all the right people, so as to get away with it. Avenatti should have watched The Godfather several times, or studied Billary's syndicate more.

Posted by: illiniwek at April 22, 2019 02:15 PM (Cus5s)

191 That's what lawyers call "fair".

LOL. What a joke.
Posted by: ThePrimordialOrderedPair at April 22, 2019 02:12 PM (k2fed)

Well, to be fair -- lawyers are taking all the risk.

They spent a lot of time and money taking on and preparing cases, and if they lose and/or only get a small settlement, well.. too bad.

Depending on the size and complexity of the case, they could lose millions of dollars if a jury goes the other way.

So... yeah, it kind of seems expensive to pay the lawyer 1/3 of the settlement, but usually those settlements are small, or they lose in court, or whatever.

It's kind of like investors investing in start up companies. They demand a ridiculous amount of equity and control for the amount of contribution they put in, but when you realize that only a small percentage of their investments are actually really successful, it makes more sense.

Posted by: Harry Paratestes at April 22, 2019 02:16 PM (GBteo)

192 George Washington University about to announce their new RMS Titanic Award for buoyancy Excellence.


Lookit! Lookit!!

Posted by: zombie RMS Titanic at April 22, 2019 02:16 PM (NeSSd)

193 In 2003, George Washington University Law School established the Michael J. Avenatti Award for Excellence in Pre-Trial and Trial Advocacy

HAHAHAHAHAHAHA

Posted by: Circa (Insert Year Here) at April 22, 2019 02:11 PM (zRiIZ)


And Georgetown Law graduated Stephen Glass - AFTER he had already been thrown out of the New Repubic for being a lying sack of shit (who was found out ... otherwise the New Repubic would hav kept him on indefinitely. THey loved his lies.)

Posted by: ThePrimordialOrderedPair at April 22, 2019 02:16 PM (k2fed)

194 Gambling is still the best way to explain lots of cash, as long as it isn't preposterous amounts.

Posted by: Grump928(C) at April 22, 2019 02:16 PM (yQpMk)

195 Combo car wash, laundromat and arcade. Quarters are our business.

Posted by: Can't resist temptation at April 22, 2019 02:16 PM (j8uQ3)

196 186 "In 2003, George Washington University Law School established the Michael J. Avenatti Award for Excellence in Pre-Trial and Trial Advocacy"

How would you like to have that Award on the wall of your office?
Posted by: Mikey NTH - The Outrage Outlet Calls for Making Nature Beg for Mercy on Earth Day! at April 22, 2019 02:14 PM (hLRSq)

People in the Industry refer to it as the "Stiffy".

Posted by: Warai-otoko at April 22, 2019 02:16 PM (AURKQ)

197
How about federalism?

Can we try that one again?

Posted by: TheJamesMadison, Read Some Movie Thoughts at April 22, 2019 02:15 PM (q8oeS)


What are you, some kind of radical extremist?

Posted by: Hadrian the Seventh at April 22, 2019 02:16 PM (BWL+E)

198 Criminals can be crafty but they're not smart.
Posted by: Flawless Male Logic at April 22, 2019 02:13 PM (TAmPV)


I'd characterize it more as a ratlike cunning.

Posted by: Morris Dees at April 22, 2019 02:16 PM (9OkQ7)

199
[character witness] CNN, MSNBC et al.

Posted by: 13times at April 22, 2019 02:16 PM (K3B2k)

200 198 Gambling is still the best way to explain lots of cash, as long as it isn't preposterous amounts.
Posted by: Grump928(C) at April 22, 2019 02:16 PM (yQpMk)

===========

What if I have a mountain of meth money?

Asking for a friend.

Posted by: TheJamesMadison, Read Some Movie Thoughts at April 22, 2019 02:16 PM (q8oeS)

201 201
How about federalism?

Can we try that one again?

Posted by: TheJamesMadison, Read Some Movie Thoughts at April 22, 2019 02:15 PM (q8oeS)

What are you, some kind of radical extremist?

Posted by: Hadrian the Seventh at April 22, 2019 02:16 PM (BWL+E)

==========

Kinda.

Wanna read my newsletter?

Posted by: TheJamesMadison, Read Some Movie Thoughts at April 22, 2019 02:17 PM (q8oeS)

202 So, is this having a significant effect on his Presidential run in 2020?

Posted by: DamnedYankee at April 22, 2019 02:17 PM (37IEG)

203 Inventory counsel. 35K missing from COLTAF. Peanuts compared to CPL.

Posted by: Infidel at April 22, 2019 02:17 PM (lwX7s)

204 Well, to be fair -- lawyers are taking all the risk.

They spent a lot of time and money taking on and preparing cases, and if they lose and/or only get a small settlement, well.. too bad.




In fairness, it's not like they have anything else to do with their time.

Posted by: Grump928(C) at April 22, 2019 02:17 PM (yQpMk)

205
Gambling is still the best way to explain lots of cash, as long as it isn't preposterous amounts.

Posted by: Grump928(C) at April 22, 2019 02:16 PM (yQpMk)


He could identify as a (feather) Indian.

Posted by: Hadrian the Seventh at April 22, 2019 02:17 PM (BWL+E)

206 Eugene Debs was able to still run from prison, I'm sure Avenatti can do the same.

Posted by: Broseidon - New Work Computer, Same Work Ethic at April 22, 2019 02:17 PM (oZ6kz)

207 How about federalism?

Can we try that one again?
Posted by: TheJamesMadison, Read Some Movie Thoughts at April 22, 2019 02:15 PM (q8oeS)

Shut up, Jim.

Posted by: TheJohnAdams at April 22, 2019 02:17 PM (AURKQ)

208 That's my take as well. Some idiot knocks over a liquor store, scores $200 plus five years in the jug, which comes to about $0.11 a day. Great plan.

And further to your point, I've previously told the story of the guy who burgled houses and used to call the victim and offer to sell him back his own stuff, not having grasped the small but noticeable flaw in his plan.

And when he got out of prison, he did the exact same thing again. Definitely a candidate for the National Academy.
Posted by: Morris Dees at April 22, 2019 02:14 PM (9OkQ7)


When my cousin got released from prison, I joked to dad that he'd be arrested for stealing presents right before Christmas. I was wrong.

He was arrested the following week for burglerizing a house. He had felt bad because he didn't have any money to provide his son with presents that Christmas, so he decided to steal from some houses in order to make some quick cash.

Posted by: Colorado Alex In Exile at April 22, 2019 02:17 PM (wCmLp)

209 196 George Washington University about to announce their new RMS Titanic Award for buoyancy Excellence.

Lookit! Lookit!!
Posted by: zombie RMS Titanic at April 22, 2019 02:16 PM (NeSSd)


The Hindenburg award for fire safety.

Posted by: Deplorable Jay Guevara at April 22, 2019 02:17 PM (9OkQ7)

210 211 How about federalism?

Can we try that one again?
Posted by: TheJamesMadison, Read Some Movie Thoughts at April 22, 2019 02:15 PM (q8oeS)

Shut up, Jim.
Posted by: TheJohnAdams at April 22, 2019 02:17 PM (AURKQ)

===========

Fuck off, Your Rotundity.

Posted by: TheJamesMadison, Read Some Movie Thoughts at April 22, 2019 02:18 PM (q8oeS)

211 Reminder: Avenatti worked for the Clintons in the 90's before going to law school. Reported to Rahm Emanuel.

Pretty sure he was in Oppo research.

Posted by: Timon at April 22, 2019 02:18 PM (dKm4U)

212 And CNN said "fuck you" to Dershowitz and had this POS on TV instead. Any reason they're in the toilet?

Posted by: CN at April 22, 2019 02:18 PM (U7k5w)

213 216 And CNN said "fuck you" to Dershowitz and had this POS on TV instead. Any reason they're in the toilet?
Posted by: CN at April 22, 2019 02:18 PM (U7k5w)

===========

"Jake Tapper is so dreamy!"
-Allahpundit

Posted by: TheJamesMadison, Read Some Movie Thoughts at April 22, 2019 02:18 PM (q8oeS)

214 186 "In 2003, George Washington University Law School established the Michael J. Avenatti Award for Excellence in Pre-Trial and Trial Advocacy"

How would you like to have that Award on the wall of your office?
Posted by: Mikey NTH - The Outrage Outlet Calls for Making Nature Beg for Mercy on Earth Day! at April 22, 2019 02:14 PM (hLRSq)


It'd be a good conversation piece, at least.

Might make potential clients nervous though.

Posted by: Harry Paratestes at April 22, 2019 02:18 PM (GBteo)

215 Combo car wash, laundromat and arcade. Quarters are our business.
Posted by: Can't resist temptation


Don't laugh.
We have a ranch near Dallas called Nickels & Dimes.

Yes. They ran the arcades in the malls for years.

Posted by: rickb223 at April 22, 2019 02:18 PM (DKgtk)

216 When my cousin got released from prison, I joked to dad that he'd be arrested for stealing presents right before Christmas. I was wrong.

He was arrested the following week for burglerizing a house. He had felt bad because he didn't have any money to provide his son with presents that Christmas, so he decided to steal from some houses in order to make some quick cash.
Posted by: Colorado Alex In Exile at April 22, 2019 02:17 PM (wCmLp)


"I'll be home for Chrisssssstmassssss ... in about five years."

Posted by: Deplorable Jay Guevara at April 22, 2019 02:19 PM (9OkQ7)

217 Avenatti really should kill himself.


I wouldn't bet against it. He doesn't look like the type to do well in prison.
--------
That's what people said about me, but I managed pretty well.

Posted by: Zombie Richard Speck at April 22, 2019 02:19 PM (jQIZZ)

218 So, is this having a significant effect on his Presidential run in 2020?
Posted by: DamnedYankee
------------

More importantly, is it affecting his professional race-car driver career? This could impact the entire world of racing.

Posted by: Mike Hammer, etc., etc. at April 22, 2019 02:19 PM (CDGwz)

219 Gambling is still the best way to explain lots of cash, as long as it isn't preposterous amounts.

What? I won $20,000,000 at the Bahamian casino!

Posted by: Christopher R Taylor at April 22, 2019 02:19 PM (39g3+)

220 The Tiger Woods Marital Fidelity Prize.

Posted by: Broseidon - New Work Computer, Same Work Ethic at April 22, 2019 02:19 PM (oZ6kz)

221 Fuck off, Your Rotundity.
Posted by: TheJamesMadison, Read Some Movie Thoughts at April 22, 2019 02:18 PM (q8oeS)

I LOLed.

Posted by: TheWaraiOtoko at April 22, 2019 02:19 PM (AURKQ)

222 192 Instead, she went with female protagonists who have a thing for just a little bit of rapiness in their sexual partners.
Posted by: TheJamesMadison, Read Some Movie Thoughts at April 22, 2019 02:12 PM (q8oeS)

Now now, it's not rape if he's a dominant, superior Objectivist man.
Posted by: Colorado Alex In Exile at April 22, 2019 02:15 PM (wCmLp)

Or if he says 'surprise' first.

Posted by: Mark Andrew Edwards, Angry, Radical, Anti-Liberal, and Dangerous: buy ammo at April 22, 2019 02:19 PM (bcbK8)

223 191 If this is the so-called "Saviour of American Democracy", I say we just bin the whole project and go back to feudalism.
Posted by: Warai-otoko at April 22, 2019 02:15 PM (AURKQ)

Things are headed that way anyway. Both the Dems and the GOP-E want a return to the bad old days of aristocracy. The only thing they disagree on is who gets to be the upper nobility and who gets to be the lower half.

Posted by: Cato, Media Delenda Est at April 22, 2019 02:19 PM (J+mig)

224 221 Avenatti really should kill himself.


I wouldn't bet against it. He doesn't look like the type to do well in prison.
--------
That's what people said about me, but I managed pretty well.
Posted by: Zombie Richard Speck

nothing is impossible if you put your mind to it

Posted by: Zombie Vince Foster at April 22, 2019 02:19 PM (FZYNt)

225 6 And CNN said "fuck you" to Dershowitz and had this POS on TV instead.

That deserves an award!

Posted by: George University we got our dicks stuck in this flaming dumpster at April 22, 2019 02:19 PM (NeSSd)

226 206 So, is this having a significant effect on his Presidential run in 2020?
Posted by: DamnedYankee at April 22, 2019 02:17 PM (37IEG)


He's making his move up in the Democrat polls!

Posted by: Deplorable Jay Guevara at April 22, 2019 02:20 PM (9OkQ7)

227 Hey, Avenatti! It's MY money and I want it NOW!!!

Posted by: Roy at April 22, 2019 02:21 PM (fG1QA)

228 The Thurmun Munson Pilot of the Year Award.

Posted by: Broseidon - New Work Computer, Same Work Ethic at April 22, 2019 02:21 PM (oZ6kz)

229 191 If this is the so-called "Saviour of American Democracy", I say we just bin the whole project and go back to feudalism.
Posted by: Warai-otoko at April 22, 2019 02:15 PM (AURKQ)


Hold my beer.

Posted by: California at April 22, 2019 02:21 PM (9OkQ7)

230 Gah!

Just saw a piece over at WeaselZippers. Do not go look!

Posted by: Aetius451AD at April 22, 2019 02:21 PM (ycWCI)

231 The Sonny Bono Alpine award

Posted by: Rick in SK at April 22, 2019 02:21 PM (FZYNt)

232 I would have thought the last thing you want to do when engaging in these shenanigans is to draw national attention to yourself.
Posted by: Eisenhorn at April 22, 2019 02:13 PM (uGHnY)


He made the play with Stelter's help to cast himself as a democrat political hopeful.

Democrat politicians get a pass by default.

Posted by: sunflower at April 22, 2019 02:22 PM (I54dk)

233 Posted by: Harry Paratestes at April 22, 2019 02:16 PM (GBteo)

I've heard that argument many times. It makes no sense, at all. Expenses come out of the settlement SEPARATELY!

Charging 1/3 (or even 1/2, which is not unusual) is nothing short of highway robbery, especially for the gigantic cases where the amount of money is so large that no work by any team of 100,000,000 lawyers could ever justify it.

There is no justification for the insane percentage charges lawyers routinely attach to civil settlements. None. In any other profession they would be recognized as unethical and, likely, tossed in jail.

Posted by: ThePrimordialOrderedPair at April 22, 2019 02:22 PM (k2fed)

234 In fact, I would suggest quarantining that entire site for a good 24 hours.

Posted by: Aetius451AD at April 22, 2019 02:22 PM (ycWCI)

235 "And CNN said "fuck you" to Dershowitz and had this POS on TV instead."


Clown Nose Network really knows how to pick them.

Posted by: Mikey NTH - The Outrage Outlet Calls for Making Nature Beg for Mercy on Earth Day! at April 22, 2019 02:22 PM (hLRSq)

236 The Hillary Clinton Humanity Award

Posted by: Warai-otoko at April 22, 2019 02:22 PM (AURKQ)

237 232 The Thurmun Munson Pilot of the Year Award.
Posted by: Broseidon - New Work Computer, Same Work Ethic at April 22, 2019 02:21 PM (oZ6kz)


Other winners: John F. Kennedy Jr., John Denver (ultralight division)

Posted by: Deplorable Jay Guevara at April 22, 2019 02:22 PM (9OkQ7)

238 The Thurmun Munson Pilot of the Year Award.
Posted by: Broseidon - New Work Computer


Piece of crap.

Posted by: Bob Denver Pilot of the Year award at April 22, 2019 02:22 PM (NeSSd)

239 >>Pretty sure he was in Oppo research.

Yup:

But Michael Avenatti, the TV-ready lawyer representing Stormy Daniels in her legal battle with Donald Trump, began his political career as a trainee in what is now one of the least sympathetic places in Democratic politics: as an opposition researcher for the Clinton machine. . .

Posted by: Lizzy at April 22, 2019 02:23 PM (W+vEI)

240 240 The Hillary Clinton Humanity Award
Posted by: Warai-otoko at April 22, 2019 02:22 PM (AURKQ)


Didn't she get the "Miss Personality" award?

Posted by: Deplorable Jay Guevara at April 22, 2019 02:23 PM (9OkQ7)

241 The court filings in Orange County, Calif., as reported by TMZ, indicate a judge has ordered Avenatti to pay his wife Lisa Storie-Avenatti $162,295 per month in child and spousal support ...

I'm thinking she won't see much of this money. As part of the settlement, she got the jet too (oops!), a Ferrari and some other stuff.

They have a 3 year old son. Sad.

Posted by: GnuBreed at April 22, 2019 02:23 PM (Z4rgH)

242

Avenatti ate Mirror Universe Mitt Romney's dingo's baby...

Posted by: In Vino Veritits at April 22, 2019 02:23 PM (UFLLM)

243 242 The Thurmun Munson Pilot of the Year Award.
Posted by: Broseidon - New Work Computer

Piece of crap.
Posted by: Bob Denver Pilot of the Year award at April 22, 2019 02:22 PM (NeSSd)

I think you mean John Denver, lil' buddy.

Posted by: The Skipper at April 22, 2019 02:23 PM (AURKQ)

244 The Saturday Night Live Comedy Writers' award.

Posted by: Roy at April 22, 2019 02:24 PM (fG1QA)

245 But, he was suppose to "save our democracy" according to the MSM and Bill Maher said he was "Trump's worse nightmare."Ana Navarro equated him to "The Holy Spirit."

How I wish he would have been the Dems nominee pushing Socialism and the Green New Deal.

It would have been glorious.

Posted by: redridinghood at April 22, 2019 02:24 PM (RBOtF)

246 "Nah. Nobody would believe anything this stupid." - Ayn Rand, sending a half-writren page to the garbage can.

Posted by: Cato, Media Delenda Est at April 22, 2019 02:12 PM (J+mig)

"A homosexual named Peter Butty-gag? I am so high right now. It's nothing to maintain a political party on, but hey."
- From the wastepaper basket of Ayn Rand

Posted by: trev006 at April 22, 2019 02:24 PM (pZ+Vo)

247 For those of you who are fans of City of Heroes like me, there's some small shred of hope: a private server has been running since nearly when it shut down. One of the programmers for COH has been working with it, updating and adding new content that the next expansion was supposed to have.

And now they've released the code and thousands of servers are starting up. By summer, unless the soulless bastards at NCSoft stop it, there should be lots of options for people to play.

From the video I saw, it looks like the graphics have been updated as well.

Posted by: Christopher R Taylor at April 22, 2019 02:24 PM (39g3+)

248 Piece of crap.
Posted by: Bob Denver Pilot of the Year award at April 22, 2019 02:22 PM (NeSSd)


No, that's the Bob Denver Navigation Safety Award.

Three hour tour? Possibly not.

Posted by: Deplorable Jay Guevara at April 22, 2019 02:24 PM (9OkQ7)

249 Piece of crap.
Posted by: Bob Denver Pilot of the Year award at April 22, 2019 02:22 PM (NeSSd)

I think you mean John Denver, lil' buddy.
Posted by: The Skipper


Then why am I flying a coconut?

Posted by: Bob Denver Pilot of the Year award at April 22, 2019 02:24 PM (NeSSd)

250 "In 2003, George Washington University Law School established the Michael J. Avenatti Award for Excellence in Pre-Trial and Trial Advocacy"

How would you like to have that Award on the wall of your office?
Posted by: Mikey NTH - The Outrage Outlet Calls for Making Nature Beg for Mercy on Earth Day! at April 22, 2019 02:14 PM (hLRSq)


It'd be a good conversation piece, at least.

Might make potential clients nervous though.
Posted by: Harry Paratestes
--------

I have an uber-liberal lawyer acquaintance who held, at his home a reception/fundraiser for John Edwards.

I was disgusted, but the guy and I have worked together on a couple of community projects, so we are on good terms.

I still have to bite my tongue when he offers any political thoughts. Lingering in the back of my mind is that J. Edwards event, I'm waiting to hear of his 2020 preference before I haul that out and drop it on the table.

Posted by: Mike Hammer, etc., etc. at April 22, 2019 02:25 PM (xSo9G)

251 I bet Hillary is eyeing this Avenatti fellow, and thinking "Hmmm, this kid has potential!"

Posted by: Marmo, not an NPC at April 22, 2019 02:25 PM (fq72/)

252 Michael Avenatti/Jeffrey Epstein 2020!!! We'll relocate the Western White House of Leavenworth to Pedo Island and build a new Air F*ck 2 for the price of 1 ...

Posted by: ShainS -- PhD candidate in Angry Orange Male studies at April 22, 2019 02:25 PM (t7Bfv)

253 Charging 1/3 (or even 1/2, which is not unusual) is nothing short of highway robbery, especially for the gigantic cases where the amount of money is so large that no work by any team of 100,000,000 lawyers could ever justify it.

There is no justification for the insane percentage charges lawyers routinely attach to civil settlements. None. In any other profession they would be recognized as unethical and, likely, tossed in jail.
=======
Its seems like a holdover from the days of privateering. It'd make sense if they were at risk of death or dismemberment themselves, or of swinging from the yard arm. Say, wait a minute . . .

Posted by: simplemind at April 22, 2019 02:25 PM (Fq/pJ)

254 The Ted Kennedy safe driving award

alternately,

The Mary Jo Kopechne Aquatic award

Posted by: Rick in SK at April 22, 2019 02:25 PM (FZYNt)

255 213 196 George Washington University about to announce their new RMS Titanic Award for buoyancy Excellence.

Lookit! Lookit!!
Posted by: zombie RMS Titanic at April 22, 2019 02:16 PM (NeSSd)

The Hindenburg award for fire safety.
Posted by: Deplorable Jay Guevara at April 22, 2019 02:17 PM (9OkQ7)

The Cleveland Browns award for achievement in pro football

Posted by: josephistan at April 22, 2019 02:25 PM (7HtZB)

256 Didn't she get the "Miss Personality" award?

That's Mispersonality Award.

Posted by: Circa (Insert Year Here) at April 22, 2019 02:25 PM (zRiIZ)

257 Gah!

Just saw a piece over at WeaselZippers. Do not go look!
Posted by: Aetius451AD
-----
I'm no where near that large and I would never take a photo like that!!!

Posted by: lin-duh in keto @ werk at April 22, 2019 02:25 PM (9iLHi)

258 I really do think that everyone should shove CNN's nose in the "Avanetti for president" push they did. I mean he was everywhere and treated like royalty but CNN was the most sycophantic and excessive.

Posted by: Christopher R Taylor at April 22, 2019 02:26 PM (39g3+)

259

Yo Mikey! You like salads?

Posted by: Black P Stone, BLM Preident Cell Block C at April 22, 2019 02:26 PM (UFLLM)

260 "I'll be home for Chrisssssstmassssss ... in about five years."
Posted by: Deplorable Jay Guevara at April 22, 2019 02:19 PM (9OkQ7)


Yeah, it was his third strike. He's going to be in there for a long time. Meanwhile, my aunt is now raising her grandson, because my cousin had to knock up a drug addict who couldn't take care of her kids.

Posted by: Colorado Alex In Exile at April 22, 2019 02:26 PM (wCmLp)

261 253 Piece of crap.
Posted by: Bob Denver Pilot of the Year award at April 22, 2019 02:22 PM (NeSSd)

I think you mean John Denver, lil' buddy.
Posted by: The Skipper

Then why am I flying a coconut?
Posted by: Bob Denver Pilot of the Year award at April 22, 2019 02:24 PM (NeSSd)

I'm pretty sure it's got something to do with Robert Goulet.

Posted by: The Professor at April 22, 2019 02:26 PM (AURKQ)

262 253 Piece of crap.
Posted by: Bob Denver Pilot of the Year award at April 22, 2019 02:22 PM (NeSSd)

I think you mean John Denver, lil' buddy.
Posted by: The Skipper


Then why am I flying a coconut?
Posted by: Bob Denver Pilot of the Year award at April 22, 2019 02:24 PM (NeSSd)

Coconuts are non-migratory.

Posted by: josephistan at April 22, 2019 02:26 PM (7HtZB)

263
But Michael Avenatti, the TV-ready lawyer representing Stormy Daniels in her legal battle with Donald Trump, began his political career as a trainee in what is now one of the least sympathetic places in Democratic politics: as an opposition researcher for the Clinton machine...

Sins that cry to Heaven for vengeance:

1) The Blood of Abel
2) The Sin of the Sodomites
3) The Cry of the People Oppressed
4) The Injustice to the Wage Earner
5) Working for the Clintons

Posted by: Hadrian the Seventh at April 22, 2019 02:27 PM (BWL+E)

264  This guy gives lawyers a bad name.

Posted by: ALH at April 22, 2019 01:57 PM (uLuPn)

I just choked on my diet coke.

Posted by: Kate Winslet's boobs at April 22, 2019 02:27 PM (hmQna)

265 266 Then why am I flying a coconut?
Posted by: Bob Denver Pilot of the Year award at April 22, 2019 02:24 PM (NeSSd)

Coconuts are non-migratory.
Posted by: josephistan at April 22, 2019 02:26 PM (7HtZB)

===========

I believe you're thinking of the African swallow.

Posted by: TheJamesMadison, Read Some Movie Thoughts at April 22, 2019 02:27 PM (q8oeS)

266

Allahpundit hardest hit. He went straight up gay for CPL. Every other tweet for months.

Posted by: Yudhishthira's Dice at April 22, 2019 02:27 PM (AzW6q)

267 "Tater" Steltzer's favorite Democrat Party candidate.

Posted by: TANSTAAFL at April 22, 2019 02:27 PM (T09ml)

268 250 "Nah. Nobody would believe anything this stupid." - Ayn Rand, sending a half-writren page to the garbage can.

Posted by: Cato, Media Delenda Est at April 22, 2019 02:12 PM (J+mig)

"A homosexual named Peter Butty-gag? I am so high right now. It's nothing to maintain a political party on, but hey."
- From the wastepaper basket of Ayn Rand
Posted by: trev006 at April 22, 2019 02:24 PM (pZ+Vo)


Right next to a crumpled piece of paper reading " ... and so a gay mulatto named 'Hussein,' a Red diaper baby with obscure background and no discernible achievements, became President ..."

"Nah. No one will ever believe that."

Posted by: Deplorable Jay Guevara at April 22, 2019 02:27 PM (9OkQ7)

269 Compared to the Democrats all of Donald Trump's sins are minor and almost charming in their simplicity.

Posted by: Mikey NTH - The Outrage Outlet Calls for Making Nature Beg for Mercy on Earth Day! at April 22, 2019 02:27 PM (hLRSq)

270 "You know, I lived with a guy for years. A real genius. He could take a couple of these pineapples or a couple of coconuts with some strings and wire and make a nuclear reactor. But he couldn't fix a two-foot hole in a boat. Wanna hear the rest?"
--Gilligan

Posted by: Christopher R Taylor at April 22, 2019 02:27 PM (39g3+)

271

But what he did, is it wrong, if you look at it from the perspective of a Communist, Democrat, or lawyer?

I mean, he is the crystallized form of all these backstabbing, career climbing little sacks of shit like Toothy and the rest.




Posted by: Rev Dr E Joe Biden at April 22, 2019 02:28 PM (U/Tvs)

272 I believe you're thinking of the African swallow.
Posted by: TheJamesMadison, Read Some Movie Thoughts at April 22, 2019 02:27 PM (q8oeS)


Any relation to Eric?

Posted by: Deplorable Jay Guevara at April 22, 2019 02:28 PM (9OkQ7)

273 The fastest way to get disbarred in every state --
and one thing the ethics committees take incredibly seriously -- is
mismanaging client funds.



Pretty much every case I ever read in ethics class was people just
being sloppy with paperwork, or co-mingling client funds or settlements
with their own money. You know, not stealing anything, just being
negligent ... I don't think I ever read a case with this kind of blatant
outright theft and fraud.



It's unbelievable to me.

Posted by: Harry Paratestes at April 22, 2019 02:00 PM (GBteo)


The government regulators really frown on this in any profession. As a real estate broker, we spend what seems like 8 hours on continuing education going over co-mingling of funds, and it and equal housing violations are the only reasons brokers lose their licenses.

As for lawyers doing what Avenatti did, yeah, I know a couple that did. One I worked with, and one I went to elementary school with. One represented clients with Social Security claims and was depositing the checks of the settlements in her personal account, and then using the money for herself. In total, about $750K, which she paid in restitution to the firm. She was well connected politically, as was her husband, but the law firm was much more politically connected, so she is spending some time behind bars.


The other? Swindled the life insurance proceeds from the widow and children of his best friend. As best as could be determined, he stole between $7-8 million in about 10 years. He lived high on the hog, buying antique boats and restoring them, traveling the world, sending his kids to the finest private schools while bilking all that money. He was politically connected, but she was much more politically connected, so he has reservations at the Greybar Hotel for the next 5-7 years.

It's funny whenever someone brings up how Michelle Obama just gave up her law license like it was something everyone does when they decide not to practice any longer. Bullshit. She got caught dipping into client funds somehow, and the involved parties decided not to make a stink about it. In exchange for her giving up her license, she would make full restitution, and the aggrieved party wouldn't pursue the matter with the Illinois Bar. Some connected pol got her the job at the hospital that would pay her enough to make the restitution, and then when that was done, she leaves the job. End of story.

Posted by: Ashley Judds Puffy Scamper at April 22, 2019 02:28 PM (fdTrp)

274 Another Omar tweet uncovered from 2017.



https://tinyurl.com/y5xebqwp

Posted by: Ha at April 22, 2019 02:12 PM (MAstk)

Fuck her. We send soldiers to end a warlord's famine on the Somalian people and this c*nt calls the US soldiers the terrorists.I got a picture taken with Durant where he was a speaker and I said "why didn't you mention that Clinton wouldn't send in the AC-130 gunships because it looked too 'offensive'"He replied "I try to keep it non-political but we should have sent in fucking tanks"

Posted by: Timon at April 22, 2019 02:28 PM (dKm4U)

275 Kennedy swimming award.

Posted by: Infidel at April 22, 2019 02:28 PM (lwX7s)

276 273 Compared to the Democrats all of Donald Trump's sins are minor and almost charming in their simplicity.
Posted by: Mikey NTH - The Outrage Outlet Calls for Making Nature Beg for Mercy on Earth Day! at April 22, 2019 02:27 PM (hLRSq)

============

"But Donald Trump had sex with someone who wasn't his wife!!!!"
-David French

"I know, right?!"
-Charlie Sykes

Posted by: TheJamesMadison, Read Some Movie Thoughts at April 22, 2019 02:28 PM (q8oeS)

277 The Thurmun Munson Pilot of the Year Award.
Posted by: Broseidon - New Work Computer, Same Work Ethic at April 22, 2019 02:21 PM (oZ6kz)

Other winners: John F. Kennedy Jr., John Denver (ultralight division)

Posted by: Deplorable Jay Guevara at April 22, 2019 02:22 PM (9OkQ7)

Davy Allison

Posted by: BignJames at April 22, 2019 02:28 PM (ykq7q)

278 CPL should ask Bernie Madoff to share Club Fed survival tips.

Posted by: mr tmz at April 22, 2019 02:29 PM (m/Gc2)

279 So you're stranded on a desert island with two mincing dimwits, an old couple, and two screaming hot babes...

Would *you* fix the freakin' boat?

Posted by: The Professor at April 22, 2019 02:29 PM (AURKQ)

280 Coconuts are non-migratory.

Posted by: josephistan at April 22, 2019 02:26 PM (7HtZB)


Unless a swallow is involved.

Posted by: Mikey NTH - The Outrage Outlet Calls for Making Nature Beg for Mercy on Earth Day! at April 22, 2019 02:29 PM (hLRSq)

281 His play at a political campaign was actually a pretty shrewd move - if he had gotten it going and started raking in contributions from rich dems, he could have kicked a lot of it into paying off his past victims, and being a dem he could count on no one ever investigating where his campaign money was going. I believe that's what he was angling for, and that's what drove him into the desperation extortion of Nike right at the end.

The problem with living a Fast and Furious life style like this is that when it goes bad, it's like a race car blowing out a front tire at 200 mph. Now we get to watch him tumble end over end for a ridiculous amount of time.

He really should kill himself, it's the only way out he has left. I don't think he can do life in prison, which is where he's headed.

Posted by: Tom Servo at April 22, 2019 02:29 PM (Kpl3J)

282 This guy gives lawyers a bad name.
Posted by: ALH at April 22, 2019 01:57 PM

++++

95% of lawyers give the rest a bad name.

Posted by: TANSTAAFL at April 22, 2019 02:29 PM (T09ml)

283 Aaaaand there we go.

Posted by: Insomniac - Founder, Farmer Liberation Front at April 22, 2019 02:30 PM (NWiLs)

284 It's funny whenever someone brings up how Michelle Obama just gave up her law license like it was something everyone does when they decide not to practice any longer. Bullshit. She got caught dipping into client funds somehow, and the involved parties decided not to make a stink about it. In exchange for her giving up her license, she would make full restitution, and the aggrieved party wouldn't pursue the matter with the Illinois Bar. Some connected pol got her the job at the hospital that would pay her enough to make the restitution, and then when that was done, she leaves the job. End of story.
Posted by: Ashley Judds Puffy Scamper at April 22, 2019 02:28 PM (fdTrp)

Teach me the ways of your people

Posted by: Mark Andrew Edwards, Angry, Radical, Anti-Liberal, and Dangerous: buy ammo at April 22, 2019 02:30 PM (bcbK8)

285 259 213 196 George Washington University about to announce their new RMS Titanic Award for buoyancy Excellence.

Lookit! Lookit!!
Posted by: zombie RMS Titanic at April 22, 2019 02:16 PM (NeSSd)

The Hindenburg award for fire safety.
Posted by: Deplorable Jay Guevara at April 22, 2019 02:17 PM (9OkQ7)

The Cleveland Browns award for achievement in pro football
Posted by: josephistan at April 22, 2019 02:25 PM (7HtZB)


The Colin Kaepernick Award for most completions in a season.

Some of them even to his own teammates.

Posted by: Deplorable Jay Guevara at April 22, 2019 02:30 PM (9OkQ7)

286 The award for Safety and Persistence

- Muslham IED makers

Posted by: Sponge at April 22, 2019 02:30 PM (VLp1b)

287 Some connected pol got her the job at the hospital that would pay her enough to make the restitution, and then when that was done, she leaves the job. End of story.

Sounds plausible, I mean they invented a no-work position for her to get paid big bucks for then shut it down.

Posted by: Christopher R Taylor at April 22, 2019 02:30 PM (39g3+)

288 The Simpsons award for quitting while you're ahead

Posted by: josephistan at April 22, 2019 02:30 PM (7HtZB)

289 She was well connected politically, as was her husband, but the law firm was much more politically connected, so she is spending some time behind bars.

So make with the 'Chained and in heat' stories already

Posted by: The Horde at April 22, 2019 02:31 PM (NeSSd)

290 >>Some connected pol got her the job at the hospital that would pay her enough to make the restitution, and then when that was done, she leaves the job. End of story.



Valerie Jarrett got her the job at the hospital.

Posted by: Lizzy at April 22, 2019 02:31 PM (W+vEI)

291 2 >>$194,000 out of a $3 million settlement.

what is that, maybe 6%?
_______________

It's 6.46666%

I would never steal a whole 94% of a client's settlement! I have principles!

I only stole 93.533%!

Posted by: CPL Avenatti, Esq. at April 22, 2019 02:32 PM (k4dH2)

292 290 >>Some connected pol got her the job at the hospital that would pay her enough to make the restitution, and then when that was done, she leaves the job. End of story.



Valerie Jarrett got her the job at the hospital.
Posted by: Lizzy at April 22, 2019 02:31 PM (W+vEI)

=========

John McCain assured me that these people were on the up and up.

Posted by: TheJamesMadison, Read Some Movie Thoughts at April 22, 2019 02:32 PM (q8oeS)

293 CPL was stealing his clients' multi-million dollar settlements. I'd like to know how bad the opposing lawyers were to lose to CPL.

Posted by: Downcast at April 22, 2019 02:32 PM (h8o92)

294 "Every child entering school at the age of five is insane because he comes to school with certain allegiances to our founding fathers, toward our elected officials, toward his parents, toward a belief in a supernatural being, and toward the sovereignty of this nation as a separate entity. It's up to you as teachers to make all these sick children well - by creating the international child of the future."
--Psychiatrist Chester M. Pierce, Addressing 1973 Childhood International Education Seminar

HOME
FREAKING
SCHOOL

Posted by: Christopher R Taylor at April 22, 2019 02:32 PM (39g3+)

295 MUMR is our best commenter* (no offense).


More MUMR!


* I assume ace writes the substitute comments inserted for MUMR's/BSG's idiocies

Posted by: rhomboid at April 22, 2019 02:32 PM (QDnY+)

296 Saturday Night Live Award for excellence in political humor

Posted by: Christopher R Taylor at April 22, 2019 02:33 PM (39g3+)

297 293 CPL was stealing his clients' multi-million dollar settlements. I'd like to know how bad the opposing lawyers were to lose to CPL.
Posted by: Downcast at April 22, 2019 02:32 PM (h8o92)

Or, possibly, how much of that 94% they were getting a cut of?

Posted by: Warai-otoko at April 22, 2019 02:33 PM (AURKQ)

298

White lawyer ass is the best...

Posted by: Black P Stone, BLM Preident Cell Block C at April 22, 2019 02:33 PM (UFLLM)

299 294 "Every child entering school at the age of five is insane because he comes to school with certain allegiances to our founding fathers, toward our elected officials, toward his parents, toward a belief in a supernatural being, and toward the sovereignty of this nation as a separate entity. It's up to you as teachers to make all these sick children well - by creating the international child of the future."
--Psychiatrist Chester M. Pierce, Addressing 1973 Childhood International Education Seminar

HOME
FREAKING
SCHOOL
Posted by: Christopher R Taylor at April 22, 2019 02:32 PM (39g3+)

==========

He seems nice.

I bet he's a blast at dinner parties.

Posted by: TheJamesMadison, Read Some Movie Thoughts at April 22, 2019 02:33 PM (q8oeS)

300 The Conservative Case for Embezzling Client Accounts to buy a Lear 30

by David French

Posted by: James OBrien at April 22, 2019 02:33 PM (ZevyZ)

301

I'd like to know how bad the opposing lawyers were to lose to CPL.
Posted by: Downcast at April 22, 2019 02:32 PM (h8o92)

---------

Good point. These guys must have gotten their JDs from boxes of Cracker Jacks. In El Salvador.

Posted by: Yudhishthira's Dice at April 22, 2019 02:33 PM (AzW6q)

302 Valerie Jarrett was the Vice-Chair of the Board of Trustees at the University of Chicago and Chair of the Board of Trustees at the University of Chicago Medical Center, so she was in a position to create a $300k+ job for Michelle.

Posted by: Lizzy at April 22, 2019 02:33 PM (W+vEI)

303 300 The Conservative Case for Embezzling Client Accounts to buy a Lear 30

by David French
Posted by: James OBrien at April 22, 2019 02:33 PM (ZevyZ)

==========

Abstract:

Donald Trump's manliness makes me uncomfortable.

Posted by: TheJamesMadison, Read Some Movie Thoughts at April 22, 2019 02:34 PM (q8oeS)

304 The Harry Reid Child Care award

Posted by: Rick in SK at April 22, 2019 02:34 PM (FZYNt)

305 302 Valerie Jarrett was the Vice-Chair of the Board of Trustees at the University of Chicago and Chair of the Board of Trustees at the University of Chicago Medical Center, so she was in a position to create a $300k+ job for Michelle.
Posted by: Lizzy at April 22, 2019 02:33 PM (W+vEI)

==========

Imagine 2008 with a real press.

Posted by: TheJamesMadison, Read Some Movie Thoughts at April 22, 2019 02:34 PM (q8oeS)

306 I'd like to know how bad the opposing lawyers were to lose to CPL.
Posted by: Downcast at April 22, 2019 02:32 PM (h8o92)

Greater than 95% of cases are not tried.

Posted by: Can't resist temptation at April 22, 2019 02:34 PM (j8uQ3)

307 --Psychiatrist Chester M. Pierce, Addressing 1973 Childhood International Education Seminar

HOME
FREAKING
SCHOOL
Posted by: Christopher R Taylor at April 22, 2019 02:32 PM (39g3+)

==========

He seems nice.

I bet he's a blast at dinner parties.
Posted by: TheJamesMadison, Read Some Movie Thoughts at April 22, 2019 02:33 PM (q8oeS)

Well he's no Bill Ayer...

Posted by: Mark Andrew Edwards, Angry, Radical, Anti-Liberal, and Dangerous: buy ammo at April 22, 2019 02:35 PM (bcbK8)

308 Imagine 2008 with a real press.
Posted by: TheJamesMadison, Read Some Movie Thoughts

too bad Fake News wasn't invented until 2016

/sarc

Posted by: Rick in SK at April 22, 2019 02:35 PM (FZYNt)

309 So you're saying CNN's star analyst is a fraud just like them?

Posted by: Marcus T at April 22, 2019 02:35 PM (VkWRL)

310 He really should kill himself, it's the only way out he has left. I don't think he can do life in prison, which is where he's headed.
Posted by: Tom Servo at April 22, 2019 02:29 PM (Kpl3J)

Guys like him never kill themselves

Posted by: JoeF. at April 22, 2019 02:35 PM (NFEMn)

311 OK, this is not me being "that guy." Let's stop short of prescribing suicide for CPL, huh?

A sincere request.

Posted by: WitchDoktor, as if anyone gives a shit at April 22, 2019 02:35 PM (tVWQB)

312 Guys in Prison gonna love him like a woman

Posted by: Deep State is in DEEP SHIT at April 22, 2019 02:35 PM (BqBId)

313 301

I'd like to know how bad the opposing lawyers were to lose to CPL.
Posted by: Downcast at April 22, 2019 02:32 PM (h8o92)

---------

Good point. These guys must have gotten their JDs from boxes of Cracker Jacks. In El Salvador.
Posted by: Yudhishthira's Dice at April 22, 2019 02:33 PM (AzW6q)

How many cases did he ever actually take to trial and win? I keep reading about settlements but can't recall any discussions of any jury awards he's won.

Posted by: Insomniac - Founder, Farmer Liberation Front at April 22, 2019 02:35 PM (NWiLs)

314 306 I'd like to know how bad the opposing lawyers were to lose to CPL.
Posted by: Downcast at April 22, 2019 02:32 PM (h8o92)

Greater than 95% of cases are not tried.
Posted by: Can't resist temptation at April 22, 2019 02:34 PM (j8uQ3)

Which says something about the legal system.

Posted by: Aetius451AD at April 22, 2019 02:35 PM (ycWCI)

315 Well he's no Bill Ayer

Now there's a man who knew about a blast at parties. Just add nails.

Posted by: Christopher R Taylor at April 22, 2019 02:36 PM (39g3+)

316 Guys like him never kill themselves
Posted by: JoeF. at April 22, 2019 02:35 PM (NFEMn)

-------

See me @ 177.

Posted by: Yudhishthira's Dice at April 22, 2019 02:36 PM (AzW6q)

317 So you're saying CNN's star analyst is a fraud just like them?

Posted by: Marcus T at April 22, 2019 02:35 PM (VkWRL


Of course not - they aren't under indictment.

Posted by: Mikey NTH - The Outrage Outlet Calls for Making Nature Beg for Mercy on Earth Day! at April 22, 2019 02:36 PM (hLRSq)

318 The Chelsea Clinto Award for Wealth through hard work.

Posted by: Sponge at April 22, 2019 02:36 PM (VLp1b)

319 From 'God Bless You, Mr. Rosewater'

"In every big transaction, there is a magic moment during which a man has surrendered a treasure, and during which the man who is due to receive it has not yet done so. An alert lawyer will make that moment his own, possessing the treasure for a magic microsecond, taking a little of it, passing it on. If the man who is to receive the treasure is unused to wealth, has an inferiority complex and shapeless feelings of guilt, as most people do, the lawyer can often take as much as half the bundle, and still receive the recipient’s blubbering thanks. – - Leech"

Posted by: Mike Hammer, etc., etc. at April 22, 2019 02:36 PM (CDGwz)

320 The Milli Vanilli Excellence in Singing Award

Posted by: JoeF. at April 22, 2019 02:36 PM (NFEMn)

321 So you're saying CNN's star analyst is a fraud just like them?

Posted by: Marcus T at April 22, 2019 02:35 PM (VkWRL


Of course not - they aren't under indictment.
===========
Yet.

Posted by: Q at April 22, 2019 02:36 PM (Fq/pJ)

322 Guys like him never kill themselves

Yeah I think he's so arrogant and driven he'll figure he can get out of this somehow and come out on top. He'll do okay in prison though, sorta famous, legal advice, old enough to not really be bothered.

Posted by: Christopher R Taylor at April 22, 2019 02:37 PM (39g3+)

323 312 Guys in Prison gonna love him like a woman
Posted by: Deep State is in DEEP SHIT at April 22, 2019 02:35 PM (BqBId)

He's a manipulative bully, I think he'll actually do well in prison.

Posted by: josephistan at April 22, 2019 02:37 PM (7HtZB)

324 Chester M Pierce is dead, so while his influence may live on in some ways he won't be addressing any teachers groups anytime soon.

Posted by: FenelonSpoke at April 22, 2019 02:37 PM (FSPNP)

325 I'm going to take aguess tha Aventti has made a lot of noise abou the dnager of glabalwarming.
*does quick search"
Why yes, he has made multiple statement warning about the grave danger to our world from fossil fuels., including his pompous August 27, 2018 platform "What I Believe" Maybe he is spending time on DiCaprios yacht to make up for the jet.

Can't blame Avenatti really, he was just taking advantage of the brain dead liberal lemming gullibility for personal advancement like any good politician. Still, it always astounds me that the liberals lemmings fall for this obvious BS from their leaders

Posted by: Ripley at April 22, 2019 02:37 PM (MxEKc)

326 Achmed the dead terrorist Excellence in explosives Handling award

Posted by: The Horde at April 22, 2019 02:37 PM (NeSSd)

327 Ever heard Al Stewart's take on lawyers?

It's a song called "License to Steal."

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=clmfdmSAcNE

Posted by: RKae at April 22, 2019 02:37 PM (vP0jg)

328

He will hire me and the boys to keep him unraped.

Posted by: Black P Stone, BLM Preident Cell Block C at April 22, 2019 02:37 PM (UFLLM)

329 The Chelsea Clinton Award for Wealth through hard work.

Paired with the Chelsea Clinton Award for earning awards

Posted by: Christopher R Taylor at April 22, 2019 02:37 PM (39g3+)

330 A sincere request.

Posted by: WitchDoktor, as if anyone gives a shit at April 22, 2019 02:35 PM (tVWQB)

Seconded.

Posted by: Circa (Insert Year Here) at April 22, 2019 02:38 PM (zRiIZ)

331 This means war!

Pete Buttigieg Compares Bernie Sanders Supporters To Trump Fans

Posted by: Anonosaurus Wrecks, Tyrannosaur Wrangler at April 22, 2019 02:38 PM (+y/Ru)

332 The Keith Richards Award for Sobriety

Posted by: JoeF. at April 22, 2019 02:38 PM (NFEMn)

333 Which says something about the legal system.
Posted by: Aetius451AD at April 22, 2019 02:35 PM (ycWCI)

Yes. It's cheaper to settle in many cases than to go to trial. And then the ridiculous awards given by juries has made insurance carries gun shy. Especially if the my decide not to pay out the policy limits and you get hit by one of these ridiculous awards. The insurance company is then sued by the policyholder.

Posted by: Can't resist temptation at April 22, 2019 02:38 PM (j8uQ3)

334 329 The Chelsea Clinton Award for Wealth through hard work.

Paired with the Chelsea Clinton Award for earning awards
Posted by: Christopher R Taylor at April 22, 2019 02:37 PM (39g3+)

===========

Don't forget the Chelsea Clinton Award for Excellence in Journalism.

Posted by: TheJamesMadison, Read Some Movie Thoughts at April 22, 2019 02:38 PM (q8oeS)

335 http://bit.ly/2VX3y7Z
*******
Long Distance Dedication to Michael Avenatti

Posted by: Deep State is in DEEP SHIT at April 22, 2019 02:38 PM (BqBId)

336 Guys in Prison gonna love him like a woman
========
Worked for me!

Posted by: Zombie Richard Speck at April 22, 2019 02:38 PM (M6Olk)

337 How many cases did he ever actually take to trial and win? I keep reading about settlements but can't recall any discussions of any jury awards he's won.
Posted by: Insomniac - Founder, Farmer Liberation Front at April 22, 2019 02:35 PM (NWiL

--------

I know, and people must hate trying cases, which I get.

But if I were a qualified attorney (even minimally) and was confronted with Avenatti as opposing counsel, I'd be thinking "There's no way we lose to this maniac greaseball, right guys?"

Posted by: Yudhishthira's Dice at April 22, 2019 02:38 PM (AzW6q)

338 The Chelsea Clinto Award for Wealth through hard work.
Posted by: Sponge
-------

More to the point:

Bill Clinton - 'Father of the Year Award'

Hillary Clinton - 'Liberty Medal'

Posted by: Mike Hammer, etc., etc. at April 22, 2019 02:38 PM (CDGwz)

339 331 This means war!

Pete Buttigieg Compares Bernie Sanders Supporters To Trump Fans
Posted by: Anonosaurus Wrecks, Tyrannosaur Wrangler at April 22, 2019 02:38 PM (+y/Ru)

==========

"There's no better way to win an election than to insult your opponents voters...*hic*"
-Hillary Clinton

Posted by: TheJamesMadison, Read Some Movie Thoughts at April 22, 2019 02:38 PM (q8oeS)

340 293 CPL was stealing his clients' multi-million dollar settlements. I'd like to know how bad the opposing lawyers were to lose to CPL.

Posted by: Downcast at April 22, 2019 02:32 PM (h8o92)

Recognize that a Settlement meant that the case did not get to a final decision at trial - the parties worked out a solution agreeable to them both. Avenatti obviously has some personal charm and knows how to induce people to trust him - that's a basic requirement for *all* successful grifters, that's the most important tool they have. For instance, with the Miami Heat player, Avenatti's skill didn't lie in working out the settlement, but in getting both the player and his ex to believe what he was telling them about the money without question - and he was able to manipulate their unwillingness to talk to each other to his own advantage.

Think on that - one phone call between the ball player and his ex would have blown Avenatti's scheme sky high right at the start - but they wouldn't do it, and obviously he knew they wouldn't. Predators have got a real talent for sniffing out these situations.

Posted by: Tom Servo at April 22, 2019 02:38 PM (Kpl3J)

341
The Vinko Bogataj Award for Excellence in Ski Jumping

Posted by: Hadrian the Seventh at April 22, 2019 02:39 PM (BWL+E)

342 He's a manipulative bully, I think he'll actually do well in prison.
Posted by: josephistan

----

Damn, I can actually see him getting other guys to fight and rape while he sits back and stacks up cartons of cigarettes.

Posted by: RKae at April 22, 2019 02:39 PM (vP0jg)

343 Are there sex cults in prison?

Posted by: Michael Avenatti at April 22, 2019 02:39 PM (hjaPQ)

344 The Brian Stetler Award for Good Looks and Sex Appeal.

Posted by: JoeF. at April 22, 2019 02:39 PM (NFEMn)

345 300 The Conservative Case for Embezzling Client Accounts to buy a Lear 30

by David French
____________________

Let's be fair here. I didn't just buy a jet with my client's stolen settlement money.

I also bought hookers and blow.

Posted by: CPL Avenatti, Esq. at April 22, 2019 02:39 PM (k4dH2)

346 315 Well he's no Bill Ayers

Now there's a man who knew about a blast at parties. Just add nails.
Posted by: Christopher R Taylor at April 22, 2019 02:36 PM (39g3+)


"Oh, honey, would you mind connecting the last wire on this bomb? It goes either on this terminal, or possibly that one, I forget. I'll just run some errands while you do that."

Posted by: Deplorable Jay Guevara at April 22, 2019 02:39 PM (9OkQ7)

347 CPL reminds me of Murr form Impractical Jokers

Posted by: josephistan at April 22, 2019 02:39 PM (7HtZB)

348 Posted by: josephistan at April 22, 2019 02:37 PM (7HtZB)
++++
Nope when they hear he stole a Mentally Challenged Paraplegic

Posted by: Deep State is in DEEP SHIT at April 22, 2019 02:39 PM (BqBId)

349 I really don't have any negative stereotypes of lawyers as a group.....except for lawyers who become politicians.

Posted by: FenelonSpoke at April 22, 2019 02:40 PM (FSPNP)

350 331 This means war!

Pete Buttigieg Compares Bernie Sanders Supporters To Trump Fans
Posted by: Anonosaurus Wrecks, Tyrannosaur Wrangler at April 22, 2019 02:38 PM (+y/Ru)

Buttgig is feeling his oats! Among other things.

Posted by: joncelli the prophet, now accepting donations at April 22, 2019 02:40 PM (RD7QR)

351 Chester M Pierce is dead, so while his influence may live on in some ways he won't be addressing any teachers groups anytime soon.

Yeah its pretty obvious his philosophy has been wholly and eagerly embraced by the education community.

Posted by: Christopher R Taylor at April 22, 2019 02:40 PM (39g3+)

352 326 Achmed the dead terrorist Excellence in explosives Handling award
Posted by: The Horde at April 22, 2019 02:37 PM (NeSSd)

Endorsed

Because he makes me laugh

Posted by: Mark Andrew Edwards, Angry, Radical, Anti-Liberal, and Dangerous: buy ammo at April 22, 2019 02:40 PM (bcbK8)

353 CPL we knew from the get go was a warped, lying, weasel. Mitt Romney however, surprised me. I can't believe that I voted for this man. Mike Huckabee unloaded on him after his "0p-Ed".

Posted by: Cheri at April 22, 2019 02:40 PM (oiNtH)

354

Hillary Clinton Respect and Support of Our Military award!

Posted by: In Vino Veritits at April 22, 2019 02:40 PM (UFLLM)

355 343 Are there sex cults in prison?
_______________

Absolutely, dude!

And ours is one of the best!

Posted by: Aryan Nation at April 22, 2019 02:40 PM (k4dH2)

356 I'll take "Why so quiet there, Mooch? For $200, Alex.

Posted by: Burger Chef at April 22, 2019 02:40 PM (RuIsu)

357
Pete Buttigieg Compares Bernie Sanders Supporters To Trump Fans
Posted by: Anonosaurus Wrecks, Tyrannosaur Wrangler at April 22, 2019 02:38 PM (+y/Ru)

And with that, you can pull the plug on Buttplug.

Posted by: JoeF. at April 22, 2019 02:40 PM (NFEMn)

358 and this is the avvenati that nadler is using as a ruse to sieze PDT's financials?

LOL

Fat fuck

Posted by: Nevergiveup at April 22, 2019 02:41 PM (bim/x)

359 343 Are there sex cults in prison?
Posted by: Michael Avenatti at April 22, 2019 02:39 PM (hjaPQ)

Well, maybe if you count the Aryan Brotherhood as a cult.

Posted by: joncelli the prophet, now accepting donations at April 22, 2019 02:41 PM (RD7QR)

360 Hillary Clinton Courage under snipe fire Medal

Posted by: Rick in SK at April 22, 2019 02:41 PM (FZYNt)

361 Posted by: Tom Servo at April 22, 2019 02:38 PM (Kpl3J)

Isn't it illegal (or unethical, maybe) for a lawyer to contact directly an adverse party who is represented by counsel?

Posted by: Deplorable Jay Guevara at April 22, 2019 02:41 PM (9OkQ7)

362 What ever happened to all those noble teachers who got into the profession for the right reason - not to indoctrinate, not to pressgang into political allegiance, but simply to sleep with high school girls?

I weep for our future.

Posted by: Broseidon - New Work Computer, Same Work Ethic at April 22, 2019 02:41 PM (oZ6kz)

363 The Jake Tapper Award for Making Serious Journalist Faces

Posted by: JoeF. at April 22, 2019 02:42 PM (NFEMn)

364 Let's be fair here. I didn't just buy a jet with my client's stolen settlement money.

I also bought hookers and blow.
Posted by: CPL Avenatti, Esq. at April 22, 2019 02:39 PM (k4dH2)

And I wasted the rest of it - Avenatti

Posted by: Can't resist temptation at April 22, 2019 02:42 PM (j8uQ3)

365 The Richard Blumenthal Award for Valor in Combat

Posted by: Deplorable Jay Guevara at April 22, 2019 02:42 PM (9OkQ7)

366

We would like to offer Michael a position in our campaign, Director of Research perhaps. Call us, baby!

Posted by: E. Swallowswell/Peter Buttplug 2020 at April 22, 2019 02:42 PM (UFLLM)

367 I really don't have any negative stereotypes of lawyers as a group.....except for lawyers who become politicians.
Posted by: FenelonSpoke
-----------
A little time spent involved in liability litigation might alter that perspective.

Posted by: Mike Hammer, etc., etc. at April 22, 2019 02:42 PM (CDGwz)

368 362 What ever happened to all those noble teachers who got into the profession for the right reason - not to indoctrinate, not to pressgang into political allegiance, but simply to sleep with high school girls?

I weep for our future.
Posted by: Broseidon - New Work Computer, Same Work Ethic at April 22, 2019 02:41 PM (oZ6kz)

LOL

Posted by: Mark Andrew Edwards, Angry, Radical, Anti-Liberal, and Dangerous: buy ammo at April 22, 2019 02:42 PM (bcbK8)

369 What ever happened to all those noble teachers who got into the profession for the right reason - not to indoctrinate, not to pressgang into political allegiance, but simply to sleep with high school girls?

I weep for our future.
Posted by: Broseidon


Especially the female teachers. It causes....feelings.

Posted by: The Horde at April 22, 2019 02:42 PM (NeSSd)

370
The Chelsea Clinto Award for Wealth through hard work.

Posted by: Sponge

-------



More to the point:



Bill Clinton - 'Father of the Year Award'



Hillary Clinton - 'Liberty Medal'
Posted by: Mike Hammer


Those are nothing compared to the Noble prize in Economics Science to be awarded to AOC

Posted by: Ripley at April 22, 2019 02:42 PM (MxEKc)

371 Pete Buttigieg Compares Bernie Sanders Supporters To Trump Fans
Posted by: Anonosaurus Wrecks, Tyrannosaur Wrangler at April 22, 2019 02:38 PM (+y/Ru)


Awesome - let the fabulous slaughter begin!

Posted by: Mikey NTH - The Outrage Outlet Calls for Making Nature Beg for Mercy on Earth Day! at April 22, 2019 02:42 PM (hLRSq)

372 and this is the avvenati that nadler is using as a ruse to sieze PDT's financials?

That will go all the way to SCOTUS. Trump's lawyers will invent new ways to tell Nadler to FO.

Posted by: Circa (Insert Year Here) at April 22, 2019 02:43 PM (zRiIZ)

373 Posted by: Mike Hammer, etc., etc. at April 22, 2019 02:42 PM (CDGwz)

Posted by: FenelonSpoke at April 22, 2019 02:43 PM (FSPNP)

374
And with that, you can pull the plug on Buttplug.
Posted by: JoeF. at April 22, 2019 02:40 PM (NFEMn)

--------

I dunno. The DNC hates Sanders. A lot. His only distinguishing characteristic in '16 was being an open Socialist - that's now everyone but Buttigeig and Biden, who are still in the closet. Sanders isn't special anymore, he's got a lot of bad blood with the Party, and he's only older, sweatier, and more senile.

I don't think anyone will take umbrage on Bernie's behalf.

Posted by: Yudhishthira's Dice at April 22, 2019 02:43 PM (AzW6q)

375 The Kutr Cobain Outliving Your Parents Award

Posted by: Sponge at April 22, 2019 02:43 PM (VLp1b)

376 Posted by: Mike Hammer, etc., etc. at April 22, 2019 02:42 PM (CDGwz)

Posted by: FenelonSpoke at April 22, 2019 02:43 PM (FSPNP)

377 The Brie Larson Award for Facial Expressions in a Major Motion Picture

Posted by: josephistan at April 22, 2019 02:43 PM (7HtZB)

378 The reason most sane participants in any civil suit choose to try for a settlement is that it's the best way to make sure that you have a hand in the resolution of the problem. Taking a civil case through to a final conclusion, with judges and juries today, is always going to be (and this is NO MATTER how good a case you think you have) like spinning a Wheel of Fortune, where at least 1/2 of the slots on the board read BANKRUPT!

Posted by: Tom Servo at April 22, 2019 02:43 PM (Kpl3J)

379 Not everyone can say they snorted coke off of Stormy Daniels cesarean scar

Posted by: Michael Avenatti at April 22, 2019 02:43 PM (FZYNt)

380 Sorry; The computer isn't cooperating.

Posted by: FenelonSpoke at April 22, 2019 02:43 PM (FSPNP)

381 357
Pete Buttigieg Compares Bernie Sanders Supporters To Trump Fans
Posted by: Anonosaurus Wrecks, Tyrannosaur Wrangler at April 22, 2019 02:38 PM (+y/Ru)

And with that, you can pull the plug on Buttplug.
Posted by: JoeF. at April 22, 2019 02:40 PM (NFEMn)


Them's fightin' words to Sanders's supporters.

You just stepped in the dog's business, Buttplug.

Posted by: Deplorable Jay Guevara at April 22, 2019 02:43 PM (9OkQ7)

382 Can you run for President from prison?

Asking for a friend at CNN.

Posted by: Marcus T at April 22, 2019 02:43 PM (VkWRL)

383 It seems telling that a leftist would brazenly commit these crimes and yet assume he would make a good candidate for president...almost like Avanatti was patterning himself after what the Democrats THINK Trumps is.

Posted by: Reformed NeverTrumper at April 22, 2019 02:44 PM (0jZvB)

384 Anyone watch the SyFy Channel show "Happy!"?

There's a segment at the end called, "What the F@#! did I just watch!", where they go over the making of the episode.

The daily news needs that segment.

Posted by: sniffybigtoe at April 22, 2019 02:44 PM (xfb67)

385 381
Them's fightin' words to Sanders's supporters.

You just stepped in the dog's business, Buttplug.
Posted by: Deplorable Jay Guevara at April 22, 2019 02:43 PM (9OkQ7)

===========

"Y'all are stupid for supporting that other candidate," is a bad long term electoral strategy.

Posted by: TheJamesMadison, Read Some Movie Thoughts at April 22, 2019 02:44 PM (q8oeS)

386 382 Can you run for President from prison?

Asking for a friend at CNN.
Posted by: Marcus T at April 22, 2019 02:43 PM (VkWRL)

Yes

Posted by: Zombie Eugene Debs at April 22, 2019 02:44 PM (7HtZB)

387 Sabaton is coming out with a concept album about WW1.

Going to be Metal AF.

Posted by: Mark Andrew Edwards, Angry, Radical, Anti-Liberal, and Dangerous: buy ammo at April 22, 2019 02:44 PM (bcbK8)

388 You just stepped in the dog's business, Buttplug.
=====

No, just some of my anal leakage.

Posted by: Mayor Buttplug at April 22, 2019 02:44 PM (UMSmA)

389 That is REALLY stupid-for Mayor Buttigieg to compare Sanders' supporters to Trump supporters.

Posted by: FenelonSpoke at April 22, 2019 02:44 PM (FSPNP)

390 Can you run for President from prison?

Asking for a friend at CNN.
Posted by: Marcus T

---

Sort of.

Posted by: Lyndon LaRouche at April 22, 2019 02:45 PM (vP0jg)

391 " The Brie Larson Award for Facial Expressions in a Major Motion Picture
Posted by: josephistan at April 22, 2019 02:43 PM (7HtZB)"

The Brie Larson Bootylicious Award for Most Curvaceous Butt.

Posted by: Broseidon - New Work Computer, Same Work Ethic at April 22, 2019 02:45 PM (oZ6kz)

392 bottom line: he didn't think he'd ever get busted.

Posted by: trapper's girl at April 22, 2019 02:45 PM (kwbNb)

393 first time I saw CPL on tv, my gut said scammer.
How can anyone actually trust this giy with their money?

Posted by: vmom superior, order of sweet merciless ninjas at April 22, 2019 02:45 PM (dm05u)

394 Well, maybe if you count the Aryan Brotherhood as a cult.
Posted by: joncelli the prophet, now accepting donations at April 22, 2019 02:41 PM (RD7QR)

Just because they're a bunch of fucks doesn't actually make them a "sex cult".

Posted by: Warai-otoko at April 22, 2019 02:45 PM (AURKQ)

395 Can you run for President from prison?

Asking for a friend at CNN.
Posted by: Marcus T


MAGA = Make A grandjury absolve?

Posted by: CPL at April 22, 2019 02:45 PM (NeSSd)

396 A little time spent involved in liability litigation might alter that perspective.
Posted by: Mike Hammer, etc., etc. at April 22, 2019 02:42 PM (CDGwz)

Preaching to the choir. And as expected, though anecdotal, I find insurance defense counsel to be mostly conservative and plaintiff attorneys liberal.

Posted by: Can't resist temptation at April 22, 2019 02:45 PM (j8uQ3)

397 I have a theory. "Women's Lib" killed education. When I was coming up, particularly in HS, the women teachers were old and smart. They had come of age when being a teacher, along with nursing, was a "respectable" job for a smart woman. Hell, some of them could have been CEOs today.

I had a woman chemistry teacher in HS that was scary smart, though not smart enough to get me understand electron valence.

Posted by: Grump928(C) at April 22, 2019 02:45 PM (iqX2J)

398 You know I'm beginning to think that this creepy porn lawyer may not be on the up and up. Who'd a thunk it?

Posted by: Kenny The G from AZ at April 22, 2019 02:45 PM (Gbx3O)

399 Karl "Egg Shaped Head, Potato Shaped Body" Rove says not only can Bernie win, but he can beat Trump. But it sounded a lot like a wish.

Posted by: Marcus T at April 22, 2019 02:46 PM (VkWRL)

400 I really don't have any negative stereotypes of lawyers as a group.....except for lawyers who become politicians.
Posted by: FenelonSpoke
-----------
A little time spent involved in liability litigation might alter that perspective.
=====
Experience is the best teacher, unless you are a progressive. In that case then one is impervious to experience but can absorb talking points like a sponge.

Posted by: Orange Man Bad News Network at April 22, 2019 02:46 PM (QW3rY)

401 Isn't it illegal (or unethical, maybe) for a lawyer to contact directly an adverse party who is represented by counsel?
_____________

A lawyer can speak with another lawyer's client if the other lawyer consents to the communication. Otherwise, it is unethical.

Posted by: TrivialPursuer at April 22, 2019 02:46 PM (k4dH2)

402 Serious question: Do you think Brie Larson has any friends?

I mean, does anyone like her, socially?

She comes off as a huge Cee U Next Tuesday.

Posted by: Mark Andrew Edwards, Angry, Radical, Anti-Liberal, and Dangerous: buy ammo at April 22, 2019 02:46 PM (bcbK8)

403 399 Karl "Egg Shaped Head, Potato Shaped Body" Rove says not only can Bernie win, but he can beat Trump. But it sounded a lot like a wish.
Posted by: Marcus T

TURN THOSE VOTING MACHINES BACK ON!!!!

Posted by: Karl Rove at April 22, 2019 02:46 PM (FZYNt)

404 " The Brie Larson Award for Facial Expressions in a Major Motion Picture
Posted by: josephistan at April 22, 2019 02:43 PM (7HtZB)"

Bitch will hear from my lawyers (not CPL)

Posted by: Kristen Stewart award Facial Expressions in a Major Motion Picture at April 22, 2019 02:47 PM (NeSSd)

405 I'm leaving on a jail plane, don't know when I'll be back again.

Posted by: Peter, Paul and Creepy Pron Lawyer at April 22, 2019 02:47 PM (vtcmf)

406 Not everyone can say they snorted coke off of Stormy Daniels cesarean scar

Posted by: Michael Avenatti at April 22, 2019 02:43 PM (FZYNt)
ewwwwwww!
I still don't believe that Trump the germ hater banged that skank.

Posted by: Timon at April 22, 2019 02:47 PM (dKm4U)

407 399 Karl "Egg Shaped Head, Potato Shaped Body" Rove says not only can Bernie win, but he can beat Trump. But it sounded a lot like a wish.
Posted by: Marcus T at April 22, 2019 02:46 PM (VkWRL)

Yeah and my dick and dent steel.

Bernie will never beat Trump.

Posted by: Mark Andrew Edwards, Angry, Radical, Anti-Liberal, and Dangerous: buy ammo at April 22, 2019 02:47 PM (bcbK8)

408 Sabaton is coming out with a concept album about WW1.

Going to be Metal AF.
Posted by: Mark Andrew Edwards

----

IQ did a cool 14-minute song called "The Seventh House" about a WWI battle.

Very spiffy.

...if you like super-clean-sounding prog-rock. (Kind of like Genesis meets Alan Parsons Project.)

Posted by: Lyndon LaRouche at April 22, 2019 02:47 PM (vP0jg)

409 The Claudine Longet award for marksmanship.

Posted by: Duke Lowell at April 22, 2019 02:47 PM (gC2IV)

410 Have you ever heard of a case of this kind of blatant outright theft of client funds?

I bet he didn't invent the technique.

Posted by: t-bird at April 22, 2019 02:47 PM (cfSLd)

411 Not even a really nice private jet, IIRC, but a low rent Honda jet. Dems know how to pick them some grifters.

Posted by: flounder, rebel, vulgarian, deplorable, winner at April 22, 2019 02:47 PM (t6MX/)

412 361 Posted by: Tom Servo at April 22, 2019 02:38 PM (Kpl3J)

Isn't it illegal (or unethical, maybe) for a lawyer to contact directly an adverse party who is represented by counsel?

Posted by: Deplorable Jay Guevara at April 22, 2019 02:41 PM (9OkQ7)

Yes, it's unethical. (meaning it's State Bar rules, not criminal rules) BUT the Parties can always talk to each other directly if they want. Thing is, after a break up especially, they usually hate each other too much to even speak. That's what Avenatti took advantage of. If the ex-girlfriend could have asked the ballplayer, "hey did you give yo' lawyer dat money?" and he had said "I sho did!" then the game would have been up right there.

Posted by: Tom Servo at April 22, 2019 02:47 PM (Kpl3J)

413 My question is: How many Sanders supporters are there still out there?

His young fans have a whole gang of younger, more woke, more female, more racially diverse candidates to get behind. What good is Sanders to anyone, anymore?

Posted by: Yudhishthira's Dice at April 22, 2019 02:47 PM (AzW6q)

414 By the way, I'm not Lyndon LaRouche.

Posted by: RKae at April 22, 2019 02:48 PM (vP0jg)

415 "Y'all are stupid for supporting that other candidate," is a bad long term electoral strategy.
Posted by: TheJamesMadison, Read Some Movie Thoughts at April 22, 2019 02:44 PM (q8oeS)


Yep. But could've been worse. He could have characterized them as "deplorable."

In any case, the odds on him getting a VP nod - from anybody - just dropped precipitously. Loose cannons running their yaps are not in the VP job description, Joe Biden notwithstanding.

Posted by: Deplorable Jay Guevara at April 22, 2019 02:48 PM (9OkQ7)

416 By the way, has Joe Biden touched anyone this week?

Posted by: Marcus T at April 22, 2019 02:48 PM (VkWRL)

417 Rove says not only can Bernie win, but he can beat Trump.

Sure, it could happen. After the last two presidents all bets are off.

BUt its a serious uphill battle. Black voters don't like Bernie. Its hard to beat an incumbent. A good economy almost always reelects a president. But with the media and pop culture in the tank helping [insert name here] for Democrat president, anyone can win.

Posted by: Christopher R Taylor at April 22, 2019 02:48 PM (39g3+)

418 I'm not Lyndon LaRouche.

That name sounds familiar.

Posted by: ALH at April 22, 2019 02:48 PM (uLuPn)

419 414 By the way, I'm not Lyndon LaRouche.
Posted by: RKae at April 22, 2019 02:48 PM (vP0jg)

Well of course not.

He's dead.

Posted by: Mark Andrew Edwards, Angry, Radical, Anti-Liberal, and Dangerous: buy ammo at April 22, 2019 02:49 PM (bcbK8)

420 DICKS CAN'T DENT STEEL!

Posted by: Rosie O'Donnell at April 22, 2019 02:49 PM (hjaPQ)

421 237
Posted by: Harry Paratestes at April 22, 2019 02:16 PM (GBteo)



I've heard that argument many times. It makes no sense, at all. Expenses come out of the settlement SEPARATELY!



Charging 1/3 (or even 1/2, which is not unusual) is nothing short of
highway robbery, especially for the gigantic cases where the amount of
money is so large that no work by any team of 100,000,000 lawyers could
ever justify it.



There is no justification for the insane percentage charges lawyers
routinely attach to civil settlements. None. In any other profession
they would be recognized as unethical and, likely, tossed in jail.

Posted by: ThePrimordialOrderedPair at April 22, 2019 02:22 PM (k2fed)



As someone who can't stand lawyers, I will disagree with the part about the lawyers' fees being separate from the settlement, not always. 15 years ago, I and my business partners were sued by a former employee for $150,000. We went on for several years of discovery and all the filings. The plaintiff's lawyer kept dragging her feet, and changing law firms. Finally after about 5 years, she left the firm she was with to start her own firm and did not take the case with her. A year later, the managing partner of her old firm offered us a settlement of $4500 to get it off their books. We sent a check for $4500 that afternoon. I doubt the client got much of that since she had 5 different depositions, filing fees, postage, etc. Our fees totaled about $23,000 for the case. I'm sure her fees weren't that high, but I'm sure she wore herself out every night thinking she was going to get $50,000 from us.

Posted by: Ashley Judds Puffy Scamper at April 22, 2019 02:49 PM (fdTrp)

422 Bernie will never beat Trump.
Posted by: Mark Andrew Edwards, Angry, Radical, Anti-Liberal, and Dangerous: buy ammo at April 22, 2019 02:47 PM (bcbK

-------

The only way he "beats" Trump is if one of his femurs splinters in Trump's stomach and gives him peritonitis.

Posted by: Yudhishthira's Dice at April 22, 2019 02:49 PM (AzW6q)

423 Not even a really nice private jet, IIRC, but a low rent Honda jet. Dems know how to pick them some grifters.
Posted by: flounder, rebel, vulgarian, deplorable, winner

---

Does Kia make a private jet?

Or does their philosophy of "Let's make the doors sort of close but not really tight" make for a less-than-successful aircraft?

Posted by: RKae at April 22, 2019 02:49 PM (vP0jg)

424 Sanders is a pimp. He could never have outfought Santino.

Posted by: Grump928(C) at April 22, 2019 02:49 PM (iqX2J)

425 408 Sabaton is coming out with a concept album about WW1.

Going to be Metal AF.
Posted by: Mark Andrew Edwards

----

IQ did a cool 14-minute song called "The Seventh House" about a WWI battle.

Very spiffy.

...if you like super-clean-sounding prog-rock. (Kind of like Genesis meets Alan Parsons Project.)

---

Maiden has their WWI song, Passchendaele

Posted by: josphistan at April 22, 2019 02:49 PM (7HtZB)

426 What good is Sanders to anyone, anymore?
======
Whoa slow down, way down pal.

That's one hell of a Halloween costume brewing right there.

Posted by: simplemind at April 22, 2019 02:50 PM (jQIZZ)

427 Serious question: Do you think Brie Larson has any friends?

My guess is there are lot of grrls who are in her clique but talk crap behind her back. But nobody who works with her seems to like her.

Posted by: Christopher R Taylor at April 22, 2019 02:50 PM (39g3+)

428 410 Have you ever heard of a case of this kind of blatant outright theft of client funds?

I bet he didn't invent the technique."

I was gonna say - if you read the back of the State Bar journals, where they print disciplinary actions, I would say about 20 or 30 times a month. So you could say it happens every day, and you wouldn't be wrong.

Posted by: Tom Servo at April 22, 2019 02:50 PM (Kpl3J)

429 410 Have you ever heard of a case of this kind of blatant outright theft of client funds?

I bet he didn't invent the technique.
_____________

He didn't. Sleazy lawyers have been stealing from clients for probably as long as there have been lawyers. It's why most state bars have set up client recovery funds.

Posted by: TrivialPursuer at April 22, 2019 02:51 PM (k4dH2)

430 413 My question is: How many Sanders supporters are there still out there?

His young fans have a whole gang of younger, more woke, more female, more racially diverse candidates to get behind. What good is Sanders to anyone, anymore?
Posted by: Yudhishthira's Dice at April 22, 2019 02:47 PM (AzW6q)


Did you see the town hall he held in Bethelem, PA? Packed with enthusiastic supporters.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p4ozAACcc8I

Posted by: Deplorable Jay Guevara at April 22, 2019 02:51 PM (9OkQ7)

431 420 DICKS CAN'T DENT STEEL!
Posted by: Rosie O'Donnell at April 22, 2019 02:49 PM (hjaPQ)

You didn't see mine on Election Night.

Posted by: josphistan at April 22, 2019 02:51 PM (7HtZB)

432 This is the guy that mincing imbecile Tom Arnold buddied up to and was going to provide him tapes of PDT being a racist misogynist. Tapes still haven't appeared. Now the mincing imbecile is buddied up with Michael Cohen. They are going to take Trump down any day. Any. Day. Now.

Posted by: Cheri at April 22, 2019 02:51 PM (oiNtH)

433 410
Have you ever heard of a case of this kind of blatant outright theft of client funds?



I bet he didn't invent the technique.

Posted by: t-bird at April 22, 2019 02:47 PM (cfSLd)

Happens all the time. This and sleeping with a client is the bulk of Bar discipline cases.

Posted by: flounder, rebel, vulgarian, deplorable, winner at April 22, 2019 02:51 PM (t6MX/)

434 All of my friends are fish.

Posted by: Brie Larson at April 22, 2019 02:52 PM (vtcmf)

435 Maiden has their WWI song, Passchendaele
Posted by: josphistan

----

Fish (the ex-Marillion guy) has a fantastic half-hour WWI epic called "The High Wood."

Posted by: RKae at April 22, 2019 02:52 PM (vP0jg)

436 420 DICKS CAN'T DENT STEEL!
Posted by: Rosie O'Donnell at April 22, 2019 02:49 PM (hjaPQ)


What does Rosie O'Donnell know about dicks? She's never been near one in her entire life.

Posted by: ALH at April 22, 2019 02:52 PM (uLuPn)

437 414 By the way, I'm not Lyndon LaRouche.
Posted by: RKae at April 22, 2019 02:48 PM (vP0jg)

Pfft. People who deny being Lyndon LaRouche are often Lyndon LaRouche.

Posted by: josphistan at April 22, 2019 02:52 PM (7HtZB)

438 Honestly, if you read up on how Bernie did in key states last time, then realize how the DNC and Hillary cut his legs out, the guy could win this time.

Look at profiles of the average Dem voter who shows up for the primary. That's right in Bernie's sweet spot.

I don't like that Carb Sucking Machine, Rove, but he may be right on that part. Beating Trump will never happen. We're not that far gone. Yet.

Posted by: Marcus T at April 22, 2019 02:52 PM (VkWRL)

439 I'm assuming you guys discussed this earlier:

In the Sri Lankan church bombing, also killed were 3 of Anders Holch Povlsen's 4 children.
Povlsen is a billionaire, Denmark 's richest man.
Not sure why his kids were in Sri Lanka, on holiday maybe.

Posted by: vmom superior, order of sweet merciless ninjas at April 22, 2019 02:52 PM (dm05u)

440 Bernie will never beat Trump.
Posted by: Mark Andrew Edwards, Angry, Radical, Anti-Liberal, and Dangerous: buy ammo at April 22, 2019 02:47 PM (bcbK

-------

Even the NeverTrumpers would come home.

The problem for Dems is Sanders generates the most unbridled enthusiasm--especially among the young.

Posted by: JoeF. at April 22, 2019 02:53 PM (NFEMn)

441 This and sleeping with a client is the bulk of Bar discipline cases.

"Oh come on, half our plots are build around that!"
--Hollywood

Posted by: Christopher R Taylor at April 22, 2019 02:53 PM (39g3+)

442
What does Rosie O'Donnell know about dicks? She's never been near one in her entire life.
Posted by: ALH

and I would rather try fucking a frying pan than let mine get close to her snatch

Posted by: Rick in SK at April 22, 2019 02:53 PM (FZYNt)

443 Maiden has a WW2 song too.

Posted by: Ha at April 22, 2019 02:53 PM (MAstk)

444 This and sleeping with a client is the bulk of Bar discipline cases.
Posted by: flounder,


How would this result in discipline?

Posted by: Dear Penthouse and local Bar at April 22, 2019 02:53 PM (NeSSd)

445 435 Maiden has their WWI song, Passchendaele
Posted by: josphistan

----

Fish (the ex-Marillion guy) has a fantastic half-hour WWI epic called "The High Wood."
Posted by: RKae at April 22, 2019 02:52 PM (vP0jg)

The music video for Sabaton's 'Midway' made IT move.

I will check out The High Wood and Passendaele

Posted by: Mark Andrew Edwards, Angry, Radical, Anti-Liberal, and Dangerous: buy ammo at April 22, 2019 02:53 PM (bcbK8)

446 In the Sri Lankan church bombing, also killed were 3 of Anders Holch Povlsen's 4 children.
Povlsen is a billionaire, Denmark 's richest man.
Not sure why his kids were in Sri Lanka, on holiday maybe.
Posted by: vmom superior, order of sweet merciless ninjas at April 22, 2019 02:52 PM (dm05u)

Shame.

But this story is already disappearing down the memory hole.

Posted by: JoeF. at April 22, 2019 02:54 PM (NFEMn)

447 "Songs about WWI? We might have recorded One..."
--Metallica

Posted by: Christopher R Taylor at April 22, 2019 02:54 PM (39g3+)

448 415 "Y'all are stupid for supporting that other candidate," is a bad long term electoral strategy.
Posted by: TheJamesMadison, Read Some Movie Thoughts at April 22, 2019 02:44 PM (q8oeS)

Yep. But could've been worse. He could have characterized them as "deplorable."

In any case, the odds on him getting a VP nod - from anybody - just dropped precipitously. Loose cannons running their yaps are not in the VP job description, Joe Biden notwithstanding.
Posted by: Deplorable Jay Guevara at April 22, 2019 02:48 PM (9OkQ7)

============

VP picks don't matter, I don't think.

I did a back of the napkin series of statistics (really, it was in Minitab) comparing home states of VP nominees from one cycle to the next and found no statistically relevant movement.

I think it mattered more in the era when presidents really were picked in backrooms filled with smoke like the mid 19th century. But now? Nah, doesn't matter. But everyone acts like it does.

Posted by: TheJamesMadison, Read Some Movie Thoughts at April 22, 2019 02:54 PM (q8oeS)

449 417 Rove says not only can Bernie win, but he can beat Trump.

Sure, it could happen. After the last two presidents all bets are off.

BUt its a serious uphill battle. Black voters don't like Bernie. Its hard to beat an incumbent. A good economy almost always reelects a president.
Posted by: Christopher R Taylor at April 22, 2019 02:48 PM (39g3+)


Plus, Rove is a reliable anti-authority. He's politics' answer to Jamie Gorelick.

Posted by: Deplorable Jay Guevara at April 22, 2019 02:54 PM (9OkQ7)

450 >>In the Sri Lankan church bombing, also killed were 3 of Anders Holch Povlsen's 4 children.

Posted by: Lizzy at April 22, 2019 02:54 PM (W+vEI)

451 So make with the 'Chained and in heat' stories already

Posted by: The Horde at April 22, 2019 02:31 PM (NeSSd)



She was/is a f'n smoke show too.

Blond, nice firm C cups, killer ass that today would look dynamite in a pair of yoga pants. Had a shot at it a couple of months before I left my job, but had just started dating a chick that turned out to be a psycho.

Posted by: Ashley Judds Puffy Scamper at April 22, 2019 02:54 PM (fdTrp)

452 Povlsen is a billionaire, Denmark 's richest man.
Not sure why his kids were in Sri Lanka, on holiday maybe.
_______________

DM says the whole family was there, on holiday.

Very sad.

Posted by: TrivialPursuer at April 22, 2019 02:54 PM (k4dH2)

453 In the Sri Lankan church bombing, also killed were 3 of Anders Holch Povlsen's 4 children.
Povlsen is a billionaire, Denmark 's richest man.

Not sure why his kids were in Sri Lanka, on holiday maybe. . .
=========
The 4th child sprang for an all inclusive vacation at club moham Med.

Posted by: there can be only one at April 22, 2019 02:54 PM (Fq/pJ)

454 http://bit.ly/2DslmRj
*******
Ilhan Omar Slammed U.S. Soldiers Involved in 'Black Hawk Down' Incident - Sara A. Carter

Posted by: Deep State is in DEEP SHIT at April 22, 2019 02:55 PM (BqBId)

455 Isn't 1916 by Motorhead all about World War I?

Posted by: Christopher R Taylor at April 22, 2019 02:55 PM (39g3+)

456 Maiden has a WW2 song too.
Posted by: Ha

----

And, of course, we could make a whole list Al Stewart songs.

History is such a great topic for music!

Posted by: RKae at April 22, 2019 02:55 PM (vP0jg)

457 How would this result in discipline?

The Bar frowns on fucking a client twice.

Posted by: WitchDoktor, as if anyone gives a shit at April 22, 2019 02:55 PM (tVWQB)

458 There is no justification for the insane percentage charges lawyers routinely attach to civil settlements. None. In any other profession
they would be recognized as unethical and, likely, tossed in jail.

Posted by: ThePrimordialOrderedPair at April 22, 2019 02:22 PM (k2fed)

You're thinking of this in terms of big settlements - but since most settlements aren't that big, this actually limits the lawyers fees and makes sure that the plaintiff gets something out of his award. Otherwise it's be all Hollywood accounting and the net-net at the end would always be zero.

Posted by: Tom Servo at April 22, 2019 02:55 PM (Kpl3J)

459 437 414 By the way, I'm not Lyndon LaRouche.
Posted by: RKae at April 22, 2019 02:48 PM (vP0jg)

Pfft. People who deny being Lyndon LaRouche are often Lyndon LaRouche.
Posted by: josphistan at April 22, 2019 02:52 PM (7HtZB)

In that case, I am not Mel Torme

Posted by: Mark Andrew Edwards, Angry, Radical, Anti-Liberal, and Dangerous: buy ammo at April 22, 2019 02:55 PM (bcbK8)

460 Look at profiles of the average Dem voter who shows up for the primary. That's right in Bernie's sweet spot.

I don't like that Carb Sucking Machine, Rove, but he may be right on that part. Beating Trump will never happen. We're not that far gone. Yet.
Posted by: Marcus T at April 22, 2019 02:52 PM (VkWRL)

--------

I'm with ya - no way he beats Trump. Maybe in '16, not in '20, and Rove's an old fat fool.

But I'd be surprised if he did win the primary. Almost all the Dem candidates are running on his exact platform, and almost all of them are more attractive candidates. We'll see, but if any of them are remotely competent campaigners, they should be able to beat Bernie like a drum.

Posted by: Yudhishthira's Dice at April 22, 2019 02:55 PM (AzW6q)

461 Rove says not only can Bernie win, but he can beat Trump.

Sure, it could happen. After the last two presidents all bets are off.

BUt its a serious uphill battle. Black voters don't like Bernie. Its hard to beat an incumbent. A good economy almost always reelects a president.
Posted by: Christopher R Taylor at April 22, 2019 02:48 PM (39g3+)

Why does Rove hate Trump?
I mean, what's his stated reason?

Posted by: JoeF. at April 22, 2019 02:55 PM (NFEMn)

462 I'd know what I'd be spending my money on if I were that billionaire.

Posted by: Can't resist temptation at April 22, 2019 02:56 PM (j8uQ3)

463 Why does Rove hate Trump?
I mean, what's his stated reason?
Posted by: JoeF.

OrangeManBad

Posted by: Karl Rove at April 22, 2019 02:56 PM (FZYNt)

464 nude CNN

Posted by: nurse ratched at April 22, 2019 02:56 PM (d7Ww2)

465 I will check out The High Wood and Passendaele
Posted by: Mark Andrew Edwards

----

The High Wood is separated into bits.

Make sure you get all 28 minutes of it!

Posted by: RKae at April 22, 2019 02:56 PM (vP0jg)

466 Did you see the town hall he held in Bethelem, PA? Packed with enthusiastic supporters.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p4ozAACcc8I
Posted by: Deplorable Jay Guevara at April 22, 2019 02:51 PM (9OkQ7)

Yes, but Bethlehem is chock full of retards and college kids (and i'm not entirely repeating myself.)

Posted by: Warai-otoko at April 22, 2019 02:56 PM (AURKQ)

467 So make with the 'Chained and in heat' stories already

Posted by: The Horde at April 22, 2019 02:31 PM (NeSSd)



She was/is a f'n smoke show too.

Blond, nice firm C cups, killer ass that today would look dynamite in a pair of yoga pants. Had a shot at it a couple of months before I left my job, but had just started dating a chick that turned out to be a psycho.
Posted by: Ashley Judds Puffy Scamper


Sorry to hear about the psycho.

Is the blonde lawyer still in jail, or is she out now?

Posted by: Dear Penthouse and local Bar at April 22, 2019 02:57 PM (NeSSd)

468 "The problem for Dems is Sanders generates the most unbridled enthusiasm--especially among the young.


Posted by: JoeF"


Aside form the yearning for socialism this is what I find incomprehensible. It's like they all want their crazy uncle for president.

Posted by: Ripley at April 22, 2019 02:57 PM (MxEKc)

469 Pig Vomit Rove can go horsefuck.

Posted by: Mr Aspirin Factory at April 22, 2019 02:57 PM (hywM6)

470 If it's true that the Dems are looking for a sacrificial lamb for 2020, Bernie fits the bill. And it also all but gets rid of the socialism label--and probably kills AOC's career....

Posted by: JoeF. at April 22, 2019 02:57 PM (NFEMn)

471 Nood. In case it has not been called.

Posted by: Aetius451AD at April 22, 2019 02:57 PM (ycWCI)

472 Nood

Posted by: Ha at April 22, 2019 02:57 PM (MAstk)

473 Posted by: JoeF. at April 22, 2019 02:55 PM (NFE

Maybe it's the 3D chess everyone always talks about. He may think Bernie is the best opponent for Trump to win.

Posted by: Can't resist temptation at April 22, 2019 02:57 PM (j8uQ3)

474 So Greedy Porn Lawyer wasn't satisfied with his fee of $1 million + expenses out of a $3 million settlement. He just had to have the whole thing.

Excellent judgment, CNN and other fake news media! Great choice to run against Trump.

Posted by: chique d'afrique back in the great USA at April 22, 2019 02:58 PM (nUbIX)

475 Why does Rove hate Trump?
I mean, what's his stated reason?

Posted by: JoeF. at April 22, 2019 02:55 PM

I don't know if he stated it, but it's an easy answer.

JEB

Posted by: Tom Servo at April 22, 2019 02:58 PM (Kpl3J)

476 Sri Lanka is actually a beautiful country, with high end resorts. But it's never been very safe. There are persistent terrorist groups that live pretty openly on parts of the country. Not just Tamil's, who have stepped back a bit, but IS and AQ cells

This is no surprise. Read the USDOS warnings over the last month especially. Then read up on the country itself. That is not a place I would ever be vacationing with my family. Ever.

Posted by: Marcus T at April 22, 2019 02:58 PM (VkWRL)

477
Aside form the yearning for socialism this is what I find incomprehensible. It's like they all want their crazy uncle for president.
Posted by: Ripley at April 22, 2019 02:57 PM (MxEKc)

I'm not surprised. Think back to what Churchill said about 20 year-olds.
And unlike most Dems, Sanders is more authentic in that he embraces the label.

Posted by: JoeF. at April 22, 2019 02:58 PM (NFEMn)

478 But I'd be surprised if he did win the primary. Almost all the Dem candidates are running on his exact platform, and almost all of them are more attractive candidates. We'll see, but if any of them are remotely competent campaigners, they should be able to beat Bernie like a drum.
Posted by: Yudhishthira's Dice at April 22, 2019 02:55 PM (AzW6q)


Bernie is straight out of central casting to play an eminence grise to one of the younger Reds, a la Marlon Brando at the end of The Godfather.

Posted by: Deplorable Jay Guevara at April 22, 2019 02:59 PM (9OkQ7)

479 How would this result in discipline?

Posted by: Dear Penthouse and local Bar at April 22, 2019 02:53 PM (NeSSd)

Actual or potential conflict of interest and violation of an explicit ethical prohibition. I would expect that there would be other extenuating circumstances, with an attorney with such poor judgment. See CPL.

Posted by: flounder, rebel, vulgarian, deplorable, winner at April 22, 2019 02:59 PM (t6MX/)

480 One thing I find odd about the Sri Lankan bombings is that Muslims are not the majority population. In fact, they are about equal in numbers with the Christians.

Posted by: JoeF. at April 22, 2019 03:00 PM (NFEMn)

481 Why does Rove hate Trump?
I mean, what's his stated reason?

Posted by: JoeF. at April 22, 2019 02:55 PM

I don't know if he stated it, but it's an easy answer.

JEB
Posted by: Tom Servo at April 22, 2019 02:58 PM (Kpl3J)

I know that. But what would be the answer if anyone ever asked him?

Posted by: JoeF. at April 22, 2019 03:01 PM (NFEMn)

482 440 Bernie will never beat Trump.
Posted by: Mark Andrew Edwards, Angry, Radical, Anti-Liberal, and Dangerous: buy ammo at April 22, 2019 02:47 PM (bcbK

-------

Even the NeverTrumpers would come home.

The problem for Dems is Sanders generates the most unbridled enthusiasm--especially among the young.
Posted by: JoeF. at April 22, 2019 02:53 PM (NFEMn)

===========

David French wrote an article begging Democrats to not nominate Bernie.

French would still vote 3rd party, though.

Posted by: TheJamesMadison, Read Some Movie Thoughts at April 22, 2019 03:03 PM (oh/Sd)

483 In the Sri Lankan church bombing, also killed were 3 of Anders Holch Povlsen's 4 children.
Povlsen is a billionaire, Denmark 's richest man.



This is like the start of a revenge flick. He can afford to hire mercs to huntdown and kidnap the leaders of this gang for him to render justice, with extreme prejudice.

Posted by: Grump928(C) at April 22, 2019 03:04 PM (iqX2J)

484 "a cool 14 minute song.... about a WW1 battle."

pffft

Posted by: The Royal Guardsmen at April 22, 2019 03:04 PM (E9vLe)

485 The Brie Larson Award for Facial Expressions in a Major Motion Picture
Posted by: josephistan at April 22, 2019 02:43 PM (7HtZB)"

Watched Captain Marvel this past weekend. Marvel knew what they were doing when they moved it to open so close to Endgame. That's the only reason they passed $1 billion. In a just world, I *may* have watched it when it came out on Netflix.

It was extremely mediocre. It was late and I nodded off a few times. I don't know how that girl won an Oscar. Her acting was not great, to put it kindly. She was supposed to be a jovial smart aleck, but she could not pull it off. My mom was surprised when I told her that was how she was supposed to come across.

Posted by: chique d'afrique back in the great USA at April 22, 2019 03:07 PM (nUbIX)

486 Can you run for President from prison?

Asking for a friend at CNN.
Posted by: Marcus T

Socialist Party of America candidate Eugene V. Debs ran for president from a prison cell after he was convicted of violating the Sedition Act of 1918. No one disputed his right to run so yeah, sure, you can run for President from prison.

Posted by: troyriser at April 22, 2019 03:09 PM (1JpTT)

487 478 Bernie is straight out of central casting to play an eminence grise to one of the younger Reds, a la Marlon Brando at the end of The Godfather.

that's the whale snot stuff that's made into perfume, right?

Posted by: Anachronda at April 22, 2019 03:11 PM (sGtp+)

488 Wow, first we find out that this climate change stuff is all hype; now, the leading candidate for Democratic President turns out to not be a trustworthy soul. Pretty soon I will begin to wonder if all the Dems are liars...

Posted by: Futwick at April 22, 2019 04:03 PM (MelgH)

489 prom?

Posted by: Futwick at April 22, 2019 04:06 PM (MelgH)

490 The 737 Super Max 8 Design Award

Posted by: stumck at April 22, 2019 04:58 PM (w9Wax)

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