"She Hit Me First:" Defender of Women Everywhere, Michael Avenatti, Arrested for Felony Domestic Violence; <s>Wife</s> Female Victim Reportedly Seen "Swollen and Bruised"

"She Hit Me First:" Defender of Women Everywhere, Michael Avenatti, Arrested for Felony Domestic Violence; Wife Female Victim Reportedly Seen "Swollen and Bruised"

We probably should have seen this coming.

I'm pretty embarrassed I didn't call it.

He looks "hitty." Assuming a woman is smaller than he is, which is sort of a narrow window, because I hear he's not a very large fellow.

Michael ["Slappy"] Avenatti, who became famous for representing Stormy Daniels in her battle with President Trump, has been arrested for felony domestic violence ... law enforcement sources tell TMZ.
Our law enforcement sources say ["Pimp-Hand"] Avenatti was arrested Wednesday after his estranged wife filed a felony DV report. We're told her face was "swollen and bruised."
Our sources say the alleged incident occurred Tuesday, but there was a confrontation Wednesday between the two at an exclusive apartment building in the Century City area of L.A.
We're told during today's confrontation the woman ran out of the apartment building and was on the sidewalk on her cellphone with sunglasses covering her eyes, screaming on the phone, "I can't believe you did this to me."
We're told security brought her inside the building and Michael showed up 5 minutes later, ran into the building, chasing after her. He screamed repeatedly, "She hit me first."

Update: Slappy Avenatti's estranged wife says it wasn't her involved in this punch-up. TMZ has now corrected that they "now know" the woman who filed the complaint was not Slappy's wife.

...

"She hit me first."

What a fighter.

Now, I know the Democrats are willing to excuse a stray bit of rape or depraved-heart murder against women, but I don't think Michael 'Ave-a-KnuckleSandwich's presidential hopes are going to survive this.

TMZ says 'Ave-a-KnuckleSandwich is "currently in custody."

Coming Soon: The debut of the Austin Powers "She's a mannnn, baby!" defense.

Hey, Remember When 'Ave-A-KnuckleSandwich Challenged Donald Trump Jr. to Some Kind of MMA Match?

I wonder if he was just sparring with his wife, without telling her beforehand.

From a Mark Edward Andrews, Exclusive Fake Footage of Creepy Porn Lawyer's Defense:

Posted by: Ace of Spades at 06:08 PM

Comments

(Jump to bottom of comments)

1 Indeed.

Posted by: steevy at November 14, 2018 06:06 PM (BXMxN)

2 Status: turgid.

Posted by: Creepy Porn Lawyer at November 14, 2018 06:07 PM (NWiLs)

3 she kicked my shin, I had to teach her a lesson

Posted by: willow at November 14, 2018 06:07 PM (aSpXp)

4 Just exercising his pimp hand.

Posted by: Jane D'oh at November 14, 2018 06:07 PM (ptqGC)

5 Total sock fail. But I'm still turgid.

Posted by: Insomniac at November 14, 2018 06:07 PM (NWiLs)

6 Sucks to be him.

Let Family Court weigh in on this.

Posted by: NaCly Dog at November 14, 2018 06:07 PM (hyuyC)

7 avanetti, no woman ever touches me without payin .

Posted by: willow at November 14, 2018 06:07 PM (aSpXp)

8 He is obviously unhinged

Posted by: Tinfoilbaby at November 14, 2018 06:08 PM (bQtop)

9 I'm going to miss him, to tell you the truth.

Posted by: Mark1971 at November 14, 2018 06:08 PM (xPl2J)

10 Another fucking hateful hypocrite leftist pig exposed.
Good work, TMZ.

At first I hated that TMZ was going political, and they've done hit pieces on Repubs I believe, but at the same time they seem to have broken wide open numerous stories now on asshole leftist harassers in Hollywood and elsewhere.

I believe TMZ was one of the first to break the story on Harvey Weinstein.

Posted by: qdpsteve at November 14, 2018 06:08 PM (miE9U)

11 No one mocks my cannoli. NO ONE!

Posted by: Michael Avenatti at November 14, 2018 06:08 PM (4e+hS)

12 Color me shocked that he's married.

Posted by: Jane D'oh at November 14, 2018 06:08 PM (ptqGC)

13 This will be rationalized by the left.

Posted by: Nick in Tallahassee at November 14, 2018 06:08 PM (fYi9j)

14 Someone's about to convert to Islam...

Posted by: Colonel Smith at November 14, 2018 06:08 PM (zyMxZ)

15 anyway smashed in face doesn't see like an appropriate response .

did she punch him?

is he bruised?

Posted by: willow at November 14, 2018 06:08 PM (aSpXp)

16 Well...there goes that presidential bid.

Posted by: Reformed NeverTrumper at November 14, 2018 06:09 PM (ITvKk)

17 A smile on Tucker's face

Posted by: Bertram Cabot, Jr. at November 14, 2018 06:09 PM (aKsyK)

18 He's a man of the Left, which means that treating women like shot is perfectly acceptable and even celebrated. If anything, this probably boosts his primary chances. They'd like Beto to hit a woman, but he'd break his nails.

Posted by: Citizen Cake at November 14, 2018 06:09 PM (R85nB)

19 The way things are going, this turd ought to be put on suicide watch.

Seriously.

I would watch the shit outta that.

Posted by: Warai-otoko at November 14, 2018 06:09 PM (BRvh1)

20 He's just a passionate emotional guy.... and she burned the marinara....

Posted by: kraken at November 14, 2018 06:09 PM (ffWPP)

21 Jane she looks like an avanetti wife.

Posted by: willow at November 14, 2018 06:09 PM (aSpXp)

22 Well there goes his presidential aspirations. Come to think of it maybe not. Dems love them some abusers, Keith Ellison for example.

Posted by: Tuna at November 14, 2018 06:09 PM (jm1YL)

23
This will be rationalized by the left.

Posted by: Nick in Tallahassee at November 14, 2018 06:08 PM (fYi9j)

He's been quite the hero on MSLSD and CNN. I wonder how Mika and Joe will spin this? Or Alisyn Camerota?

Posted by: Jane D'oh at November 14, 2018 06:09 PM (ptqGC)

24 Of course Trump caused the wife to snap.

Posted by: Central Scrutinizer at November 14, 2018 06:09 PM (vI+F1)

25 well, I hope you guys are all sitting down

Posted by: billionaires! At the bottom of it all! at November 14, 2018 06:09 PM (7J5t2)

26 CPL will probably announce he's devoting his time to fighting the NRA.

Posted by: Weasel at November 14, 2018 06:09 PM (MVjcR)

27 I too noticed that the bitch hit me first!

Posted by: Keith Ellison at November 14, 2018 06:10 PM (aqpW6)

28 I was surprised that he was married to a woman

Posted by: Tinfoilbaby at November 14, 2018 06:10 PM (bQtop)

29 Whaddaya think... tweaker?? 'Roids???

Posted by: kraken at November 14, 2018 06:10 PM (ffWPP)

30 Bet Donny has more than two scoops to celebrate this one.

Posted by: Ever at November 14, 2018 06:10 PM (QPeHQ)

31 We had to reset Trump's "Days Without Winning" counter after election day, but this brings to 00

Posted by: josephistan at November 14, 2018 06:10 PM (Izzlo)

32 I think she's a fashion designer , but I don't keep up with fashion so.

Posted by: willow at November 14, 2018 06:10 PM (aSpXp)

33 Did he tell her once or twice?

Posted by: Burnt Toast at November 14, 2018 06:10 PM (1g7ch)

34 Michael Ave a Knuckle Sandwich.

Keyboard cleaning required as soon as I stop laughing.

Posted by: Jen the original at November 14, 2018 06:10 PM (jCCZJ)

35 CPL is a battered husband, guys!

Posted by: votermom pimping NEW Moron-authored books! at November 14, 2018 06:10 PM (XZ3Gp)

36 >>>12 Color me shocked that he's married.
Posted by: Jane D'oh

estranged. and the rumor is that leftwing DC women have been lining up to jump on his dick.

Because they're not insane.

Posted by: ace at November 14, 2018 06:10 PM (PbpT7)

37 Is there a GoFundMe yet?

Posted by: Mark1971 at November 14, 2018 06:11 PM (xPl2J)

38 He looks like a guy with a short fuse. Shep gives me the same vibe.

Posted by: Jane D'oh at November 14, 2018 06:11 PM (ptqGC)

39 I'm not even mad. This is amazing.

If anything, I'm worried Trump might be a Dark Lord. No one gets this lucky without mind control.

Posted by: trev006 at November 14, 2018 06:11 PM (3/Acz)

40 End of Avenatti's Presidential hopes or resume enhancer?

Posted by: Kreplach at November 14, 2018 06:11 PM (qxq6t)

41 Does CNN disavow his wife beating?

Posted by: MAGA at November 14, 2018 06:11 PM (aEyXC)

42 What do you tell a woman with two black eyes?

You don't tell her nothing! Her husband done telled her twice!

Posted by: Creepy Porn Lawyer at November 14, 2018 06:11 PM (p6e8W)

43 Someone's about to convert to Islam...
Posted by: Colonel Smith

Hey! I got this!

Posted by: Keith Ellison at November 14, 2018 06:11 PM (vcOmj)

44 anyway there are women that actually abuse their husbands, but avanetti doesn't seem the forgiving type

Posted by: willow at November 14, 2018 06:11 PM (aSpXp)

45 36 Easily believable.

Posted by: steevy at November 14, 2018 06:12 PM (BXMxN)

46 estranged. and the rumor is that leftwing DC women have been lining up to jump on his dick.

Because they're not insane.

Posted by: ace at November 14, 2018 06:10 PM (PbpT7)

Aren't women salivating over Drama Jimmy Acosta? I don't get it.

Posted by: Jane D'oh at November 14, 2018 06:12 PM (ptqGC)

47 CPL will probably announce he's devoting his time to fighting the NRA.
Posted by: Weasel at November 14, 2018 06:09 PM (MVjcR)

I lol'd.

Posted by: hogmartin at November 14, 2018 06:12 PM (t+qrx)

48 Is anyone surprised? If he were an actor he'd always get the wife-beater role. He just looks like one.

Posted by: Eeyore, fomerly George LeS at November 14, 2018 06:12 PM (59GGI)

49 Avenatti is going after the Muslim vote......

Posted by: kraken at November 14, 2018 06:12 PM (ffWPP)

50 End of Avenatti's Presidential hopes or resume enhancer?
Posted by: Kreplach

Ice cubes are good.

Posted by: Billy Jeff Clinton at November 14, 2018 06:12 PM (vcOmj)

51 Did anybody see the video of PDT glaring at a snoozing King of Morocco during the Armistice Day ceremonies. Absolutely priceless.

Posted by: Tuna at November 14, 2018 06:12 PM (jm1YL)

52 2020.

Posted by: Ha at November 14, 2018 06:12 PM (SLXtE)

53 Avenetti for Presdient!

what was his twiiter nic for a moment?

Posted by: willow at November 14, 2018 06:12 PM (aSpXp)

54 #ibelieveher !!!

Posted by: peacelovewoodstock at November 14, 2018 06:13 PM (nzTIz)

55 Women also throw themselves at incarcerted serial killers.

Posted by: steevy at November 14, 2018 06:13 PM (BXMxN)

56 left fems#don'tbelievethiswoman

Posted by: willow at November 14, 2018 06:13 PM (aSpXp)

57 A. She was a whore
B. She hit me
C. It's not my kid

Posted by: billionaires! At the bottom of it all! at November 14, 2018 06:13 PM (7J5t2)

58 Is he still going to run for President in 2020?

Posted by: The Great White Scotsman at November 14, 2018 06:13 PM (JUOKG)

59 53

what was his twiiter nic for a moment?
Posted by: willow at November 14, 2018 06:12 PM (aSpXp)

" Carlos Danger", I think....

Posted by: kraken at November 14, 2018 06:13 PM (ffWPP)

60 <<estranged. and the rumor is that leftwing DC women have been lining up to jump on his dick.

Because they're not insane.>>
More rumors indicate he has a meeting with Doug Stamper in the coming weeks...

Posted by: Reformed NeverTrumper at November 14, 2018 06:13 PM (ITvKk)

61 Avenatti is going after the Muslim vote......

====

got to also marry his sister too if I am reading my notes correctly.

Posted by: billionaires! At the bottom of it all! at November 14, 2018 06:14 PM (7J5t2)

62 The chasing after her part in front of witnesses is not exactly a smart lawyer move.

Posted by: William Eaton at November 14, 2018 06:14 PM (MuTTO)

63 ''estranged. and the rumor is that leftwing DC women have been lining up to jump on his dick.

Because they're not insane. ''

CNN lines up experts to defend him in 10, 9, 8, 7....

Posted by: Tuna at November 14, 2018 06:14 PM (jm1YL)

64 She better put some ice on that.

Posted by: Mr Aspirin Factory at November 14, 2018 06:14 PM (fJ5wU)

65 Does CNN disavow his wife beating?
Posted by: MAGA

I blame the climate of fear and hate fostered by the Trump Administration!

Posted by: Jim Acosta, cub reporter at November 14, 2018 06:14 PM (vcOmj)

66 SHUT UP AND DANCE WITH ME!

Posted by: nurse ratched at November 14, 2018 06:14 PM (d7Ww2)

67 Women also throw themselves at incarcerted serial killers.
Posted by: steevy at November 14, 2018 06:13 PM (BXMxN)

Yes, didn't Charles Manson get married the year before he died, in prison?

Posted by: Jen the original at November 14, 2018 06:14 PM (jCCZJ)

68 Probably bath salts....

Posted by: kraken at November 14, 2018 06:14 PM (ffWPP)

69 48 Is anyone surprised? If he were an actor he'd always get the wife-beater role. He just looks like one.

I can see the campaign posters now with him wearing white stained sleeveless t-shirt.

Posted by: Blue Bird of F'ing Joy at November 14, 2018 06:14 PM (lD3vL)

70 estranged. and the rumor is that leftwing DC women have been lining up to jump on his dick.

Because they're not insane.

Posted by: ace at November 14, 2018 06:10 PM (PbpT7)

He'd better watch out. Loopy looks as if you're lucky if she only bites off your fist.

Posted by: Eeyore, fomerly George LeS at November 14, 2018 06:14 PM (59GGI)

71 He's been quite the hero on MSLSD and CNN. I wonder how Mika and Joe will spin this? Or Alisyn Camerota?

Posted by: Jane D'oh at November 14, 2018 06:09 PM (ptqGC)

---
It will never get reported. They'll just disappear him.

Posted by: K.N. McBride at November 14, 2018 06:15 PM (cfSRQ)

72 I try not to judge by looks, but also slimy attitudes.

Posted by: willow at November 14, 2018 06:15 PM (aSpXp)

73 46 estranged. and the rumor is that leftwing DC women have been lining up to jump on his dick.

Because they're not insane.

Posted by: ace at November 14, 2018 06:10 PM (PbpT7)

Aren't women salivating over Drama Jimmy Acosta? I don't get it.

Posted by: Jane D'oh at November 14, 2018 06:12 PM (ptqGC)

Is that all it takes to meet women? I'm really doing it wrong.

Posted by: josephistan at November 14, 2018 06:15 PM (Izzlo)

74 I've hired Michael Cohen to defend me against the salacious accusations brought against by my wife, an avid Trump supporter.

Posted by: Michael Avenatti at November 14, 2018 06:15 PM (4e+hS)

75 I am going to wait until I hear what Capn. Kristol and his minions like Goldberg have to say to form my opinion you fucking McCarthyites!

Posted by: Minnfidel at November 14, 2018 06:15 PM (Sz3zs)

76

President Michael Avenatti.

(caption to "The Scream" by E.Munch)

Posted by: J.J. Sefton at November 14, 2018 06:15 PM (/9p9e)

77 He was auditioning for a Lifetime channel movie role....

Posted by: kraken at November 14, 2018 06:15 PM (ffWPP)

78 Let's see:

According to insane lib women, Tucker's son throwing a glass of wine in the face of the ass who called his sister a whore and a c*nt was uncalled for.

Let's see what they call this.

Posted by: Jane D'oh at November 14, 2018 06:16 PM (ptqGC)

79 kraken, no, lol

but something the left named him. dang it. I never remember anything anymore.

Posted by: willow at November 14, 2018 06:16 PM (aSpXp)

80 He'd never have been in trouble for beating a woman if he hadn't embarrassed the Party with the with the Swetnick thing and his ill-considered campaign for President.

But I'll take a win where I can find one.

Posted by: Yudhishthira's Dice at November 14, 2018 06:16 PM (5aX2M)

81

Can he still be President?

Posted by: E buzz at November 14, 2018 06:16 PM (nkLIP)

82 Seriously... what kinda dickbag do you have to be to use "she hit me first" as an excuse?

I'd get it if she had a split lip, or one black eye, or a knocked out tooth, fine, use force against force and then walk away. Or if you're both all lumped up, it was at least not a one sided ass whuppin'.

But by the report in the sidebar link, she was apparently all lumped up, meaning repeated shots were taken.

So even if she DID swing first, he was definitely taking some shit out on her. So fuck this CWL guy. In general and in particular.

Posted by: Warai-otoko at November 14, 2018 06:16 PM (BRvh1)

83
Is he still going to run for President in 2020?
Posted by: The Great White Scotsman

Who isn't?

Posted by: Bertram Cabot, Jr. at November 14, 2018 06:16 PM (aKsyK)

84 12 Color me shocked that he's married.

Posted by: Jane D'oh at November 14, 2018 06:08 PM (ptqGC)

Separated. And iirc, he's court ordered to pay her $25k or $50k spousal support...

With all the judgements against him lately, he's probably near broke and not making his payments, like his multiple former business partners have to their dismay discovered about him.

He's a peach alright.

Posted by: GunBreed at November 14, 2018 06:16 PM (Z4rgH)

85 36 >>>12 Color me shocked that he's married.
Posted by: Jane D'oh

estranged. and the rumor is that leftwing DC women have been lining up to jump on his dick.

Because they're not insane.

Posted by: ace at November 14, 2018 06:10 PM (PbpT7)

That figures.

Posted by: Insomniac at November 14, 2018 06:16 PM (NWiLs)

86 well, in his defense, she was trying to grab his phone of karoke microphone or something.

Posted by: yankeefifth at November 14, 2018 06:16 PM (MTjB1)

87 I bet Tucker is enjoying this even more than Trump, because he can do an entire segment on this tonight, whereas Trump is still waiting for the court to decide how much his lawyers should be reimbursed by horseface and aveaknucklesandwich and probably can't say much.

Posted by: Jen the original at November 14, 2018 06:16 PM (jCCZJ)

88 I dunno, guys, I got a hunch those crazy kids are gonna make it work in the end. I'm a romantic that way.

Posted by: hogmartin at November 14, 2018 06:17 PM (t+qrx)

89
We used to call the tough kids in junior high "the hitters" or as was pronounced in old Flatbush "da hit-iz."

I'll bet even Pajama Boy could kick his ass.

Posted by: J.J. Sefton at November 14, 2018 06:17 PM (/9p9e)

90 Rumor has it a leftwing fox contributor I'll call "Gizmo" had a thing for Michael "Beat 'em and Cheat 'em" Avenatti.

Posted by: ace at November 14, 2018 06:17 PM (PbpT7)

91 estranged. and the rumor is that leftwing DC women have been lining up to jump on his dick.

Because they're not insane.

Posted by: ace at November 14, 2018 06:10 PM (PbpT7)

---------------------

Any bets Stormy "worked off" some of her fees with CPL?

Posted by: Blake - used bridge salesman at November 14, 2018 06:17 PM (qC1Sy)

92 I am still shocked that Avenatti agreed to be on Tucker's show.

I'd love to see how things went between them when cameras were off...

Posted by: qdpsteve at November 14, 2018 06:17 PM (miE9U)

93 And some of you were saying there is no good news.

Posted by: JackStraw at November 14, 2018 06:17 PM (/tuJf)

94 Please let Trump tweet about this...

Posted by: William Eaton at November 14, 2018 06:18 PM (MuTTO)

95 estranged, what is that anonymous sex on the internets?

Posted by: yankeefifth at November 14, 2018 06:18 PM (MTjB1)

96 This is not disqualifying behavior for a Presidential Candidate.

But being a cracker is.

Posted by: Keith "to the moon" Ellison at November 14, 2018 06:18 PM (SN4NF)

97 According to insane lib women, Tucker's son throwing a glass of wine in the face of the ass who called his sister a whore and a c*nt was uncalled for.

Let's see what they call this.
Posted by: Jane D'oh at November 14, 2018 06:16 PM (ptqGC)

That IS uncalled for. Wasting good wine.

The proper play in that situation is to down the wine in a gulp or two, then smash the empty glass against the pric's face.

Further beating is optional.

Posted by: Warai-otoko at November 14, 2018 06:18 PM (BRvh1)

98 Play stupid games, win stupid prizes.

This human colostomy bag may be the slimiest public figure I've ever seen.

Posted by: UGAdawg at November 14, 2018 06:18 PM (tRd71)

99 Blake, now that's a pairing that would make sense

Posted by: willow at November 14, 2018 06:18 PM (aSpXp)

100
I suppose with all the money he's being sued for and his world caving in on him, a target of opportunity presented itself.

Posted by: J.J. Sefton at November 14, 2018 06:18 PM (/9p9e)

101 Rumor has it a leftwing fox contributor I'll call "Gizmo" had a thing for Michael "Beat 'em and Cheat 'em" Avenatti.

Posted by: ace at November 14, 2018 06:17 PM (PbpT7)
Marie Harf?

Posted by: Jane D'oh at November 14, 2018 06:18 PM (ptqGC)

102 I just saw a big article about Stormy and Avenatti in the current issue of Vogue. Didn't read it but I'm sure the writer showered him with compliments for challenging the bad president. LOL

Posted by: Tuna at November 14, 2018 06:18 PM (jm1YL)

103 Also, it actually wouldn't surprise me if the DNC dropped the dime on Avenatti about this story. I've read that privately, Dems in DC are horribly embarrassed with him.

Posted by: qdpsteve at November 14, 2018 06:18 PM (miE9U)

104 78
Let's see:

According to insane lib women, Tucker's son throwing a
glass of wine in the face of the ass who called his sister a whore and a
c*nt was uncalled for.

Let's see what they call this.

Posted by: Jane D'oh at November 14, 2018 06:16 PM (ptqGC)

---
And another plinth is added the the Great Hall of Male Feminists.

Posted by: K.N. McBride at November 14, 2018 06:18 PM (cfSRQ)

105 Did anyone not see this coming?

Posted by: Dr Spank at November 14, 2018 06:18 PM (4e+hS)

106 My 2020 Campaign pitch:

"You looking for a Democrat that can beat Hillary?"

Posted by: Creepy Porn Lawyer at November 14, 2018 06:19 PM (p6e8W)

107

Was the woman Anderson Cooper?

Posted by: E buzz at November 14, 2018 06:19 PM (nkLIP)

108 They should leave 50 feet of rope in his cell to do macrame while he waits for his hearing.

Posted by: Burnt Toast at November 14, 2018 06:19 PM (1g7ch)

109 Oh, and willowed:---

192
at some point, trump and co has to take a stand, show your cards, mueller or be done with it.

Posted by: billionaires! At the bottom of it all! at November 14, 2018 06:02 PM (7J5t2)

---
Here's the deal.

Trump didn't declassify all the documents because the UK and Australia begged him not to.

For
those not paying attention, nominally conservative governments in both
of those countries are hanging on by their fingernails. The Aussie
Liberals (their conservatives, don't ask) have a single vote majority in
parliament.

While Theresa May is a total squish, she's also the last line of defense against outright communism embodied by Labour.

So Trump held it close, waiting on events. It cost him nothing and was an easy play.

Now
things are different. His own survival is at stake but it's also clear
that May's government is going to collapse no matter what he does. She's
botched Brexit and the Ulstermen are going to leave the Tories if the
deal is as bad as they say.

The Aussies also made their own bed.

My
prediction is that either right before or immediately after Mueller
tries to do his big move, Trump will dump the incriminating documents
without warning and blow up the whole damn thing. Alternatively, he
might go ahead and dump on the heels of May's government falling from
power.

Either way, he was never held in check by Rosenstein. What
kept him back was the international pressure and the fact that right
when he was about to do it, the Dems gave us the gift of the Kavanaugh
fiasco.

Trump didn't need the boost after that.

Posted by: K.N. McBride at November 14, 2018 06:19 PM (cfSRQ)

110 He's running a close race with Alan Grayson for despicable hominid....

Posted by: kraken at November 14, 2018 06:19 PM (ffWPP)

111 yes avanetti could still be President, they always forget the bad details of their fresh left crush

Posted by: willow at November 14, 2018 06:20 PM (aSpXp)

112
Avenatti and Accoster ought to have some kind of cable event.

Like those turn of the (last) century contests where rat terriers compete to see which one can kill the most rats in a certain amount of time.

Only Avenatti and Accoster could see how many 98 lb libtard women they can slap around in five minutes.

The winner gets-

The Congressional Medal of Democrat Wymyn Beating

and the opportunity to star in the new "Andy Capp" movie.

Posted by: naturalfake at November 14, 2018 06:20 PM (9X624)

113 The comments are funny over at the TMZ website. Dems. getting trashed.

Posted by: redridinghood at November 14, 2018 06:20 PM (hECVl)

114 That baby took my candy first!

Posted by: wooga at November 14, 2018 06:20 PM (3I7wr)

115
My 2020 Campaign pitch:

"You looking for a Democrat that can beat Hillary?"

Posted by: Creepy Porn Lawyer at November 14, 2018 06:19 PM (p6e8W)

And there went a perfectly good mouthful of Pinotage.

Posted by: Jane D'oh at November 14, 2018 06:20 PM (ptqGC)

116 Can he still be President?

Unless Hillary has him killed first.

Otherwise, given how modern elections go, we will have Creepy Pr0n President.

Posted by: Blue Bird of F'ing Joy at November 14, 2018 06:20 PM (lD3vL)

117 And another plinth is added the the Great Hall of Male Feminists.
Posted by: K.N. McBride at November 14, 2018 06:18 PM (cfSRQ)

---------------

Bonus points for using the word "plinth."

Posted by: Blake - used bridge salesman at November 14, 2018 06:20 PM (qC1Sy)

118 "estranged. and the rumor is that leftwing DC women have been lining up to jump on his dick.

Because they're not insane. "

So this is the reverse of the old adage don't put your dick in crazy?

Posted by: Boswell at November 14, 2018 06:20 PM (OjnQU)

119 Avenetti Campaign headline, I will personally see to it that I give each and every woman the abortion of their dreams.

Posted by: willow at November 14, 2018 06:21 PM (aSpXp)

120 The intern also touched me first.

Posted by: Jim Acosta at November 14, 2018 06:21 PM (PbpT7)

121 I'm waiting for the Women of the View's take on this.....

Posted by: kraken at November 14, 2018 06:21 PM (ffWPP)

122 Can he still be President?

Posted by: E buzz at November 14, 2018 06:16 PM

Hell yes, praise Allah.

Posted by: Keef Ellison at November 14, 2018 06:21 PM (Sz3zs)

123 ''According to insane lib women, Tucker's son throwing a glass of wine in the face of the ass who called his sister a whore and a c*nt was uncalled for. ''

I would say Mr. Carlson raised his son right. I think it was just wonderful he stood up for his sister. We could use more young gentlemen like him today. Instead, we have a generation of soiboys.

Posted by: Tuna at November 14, 2018 06:21 PM (jm1YL)

124 How Trumpist of you all!!

Avenatti was simply exercising his freedom of speech!!!

Posted by: WaterCow at November 14, 2018 06:21 PM (aaDlx)

125 Only Avenatti and Accoster could see how many 98 lb libtard women they can slap around in five minutes.

The winner gets-

The Congressional Medal of Democrat Wymyn Beating

and the opportunity to star in the new "Andy Capp" movie.

Posted by: naturalfake at November 14, 2018 06:20 PM (9X624)

I'd rather they beat each other to death, but whatever man. I'm flexible.

Posted by: Dack Thrombosis at November 14, 2018 06:21 PM (4ErVI)

126 Off, Creepy Porn Lawyer sock! (eeew)

Posted by: Hawkpilot at November 14, 2018 06:21 PM (p6e8W)

127 You looking for a Democrat that can beat Hillary?"

Posted by: Creepy Porn Lawyer at November 14, 2018 06:19 PM (p6e8W

ah

ah, omgoodness I still laughed.

Posted by: willow at November 14, 2018 06:21 PM (aSpXp)

128 I'm waiting for the Women of the View's take on this.....

Posted by: kraken at November 14, 2018 06:21 PM (ffWPP)

This. I saw a clip of them slobbering over him recently.

Posted by: Jane D'oh at November 14, 2018 06:22 PM (ptqGC)

129 In fairness, Mrs. Aviantay did burn the steak. And we all know that defeats the purpose.

Posted by: kallisto at November 14, 2018 06:22 PM (Whlww)

130 105 Did anyone not see this coming?
Posted by: Dr Spank at November 14, 2018 06:18 PM (4e+hS)
------------------

I didn't, but, certainly not surprised.

Posted by: Blake - used bridge salesman at November 14, 2018 06:22 PM (qC1Sy)

131 I'm waiting for the Women of the View's take on this.....
Posted by: kraken at November 14, 2018 06:21 PM

You mean the staff at TWS? They are awaiting orders.

Posted by: Minnfidel at November 14, 2018 06:22 PM (Sz3zs)

132 110 He's running a close race with Alan Grayson for despicable hominid....
Posted by: kraken at November 14, 2018 06:19 PM (ffWPP)

Whatever happened to him? Is he back in a diorama at the National History museum?

Posted by: josephistan at November 14, 2018 06:22 PM (Izzlo)

133 Can't wait for the mugshot memes

Posted by: wooga at November 14, 2018 06:22 PM (3I7wr)

134 Are there any openings on the Women's Initiative Board of Directors? Asking for a CPL friend ...

Posted by: ShainS -- Kavanaugh Shitshow Survivor at November 14, 2018 06:22 PM (DQ+ge)

135 Willowed below:

It's mobys and cucks all the way down.

Welp.

I have to congratulate the leftists for creating a Fake Conservative Movement and Leadership-

they've pretty much led us around by the nose for 30 years.

That pretty much demands a medal or something-

The Congressional Medal of Cuckery.

Make it so!

**************

Ima gonna try to make "The Congressional Medal of..." a thing.

Fair warning.

Posted by: naturalfake at November 14, 2018 06:22 PM (9X624)

136 You looking for a Democrat that can beat Hillary?"

Posted by: Creepy Porn Lawyer at November 14, 2018 06:19 PM (p6e8W

ah

ah, omgoodness I still laughed.
Posted by: willow at November 14, 2018 06:21

Fantastic. LOL.

Posted by: Minnfidel at November 14, 2018 06:22 PM (Sz3zs)

137 This man is a menace. His wife is well rid of him. I hope she wasn't badly injured.

Posted by: grammie winger at November 14, 2018 06:23 PM (lwiT4)

138 Bitches be trippin'.
Ellison/Avenatti 2020 : The one two punch America Needs.

Posted by: Keith Ellison at November 14, 2018 06:23 PM (4e+hS)

139 Yes, but was it an NFL caliber wire beating?

Posted by: Regular joe at November 14, 2018 06:23 PM (7PllL)

140 just another sign of trump coarsening our discourse. Let's not forget all the woman who came out and said he groped her at Mar a Lago when he was in NYC at the time.

Posted by: billionaires! At the bottom of it all! at November 14, 2018 06:23 PM (7J5t2)

141 The Trump Curse is a real thing.

You go against Trump and it's just a matter of time before an ACME anvil falls out of the sky on your head.

Posted by: JackStraw at November 14, 2018 06:23 PM (/tuJf)

142 You looking for a Democrat that can beat Hillary?"

Posted by: Creepy Porn Lawyer

==

Posted by: billionaires! At the bottom of it all! at November 14, 2018 06:23 PM (7J5t2)

143 Bitch set me up!

Posted by: Minnfidel at November 14, 2018 06:24 PM (Sz3zs)

144 Whatever happened to him? Is he back in a diorama at the National History museum?
Posted by: josephistan at November 14, 2018 06:22 PM (Izzlo)

Got beaten.

http://tinyurl.com/ybkwnwra

Posted by: hogmartin at November 14, 2018 06:24 PM (t+qrx)

145 saw a leftwing comment board and some dude was relating that his wife called Avenatti - Heavenatti

just let that sink in, not only the woman thought Avenatti was - heavenly - but the cuck of a husband thought it was ok to let the world know about it

Posted by: Retard Strength Trumps Smart Power at November 14, 2018 06:24 PM (RKQ/v)

146 Without hypocrisy molecules, leftists would have no molecules at all.

Posted by: zombie at November 14, 2018 06:24 PM (c+2jX)

147 137 This man is a menace. His wife is well rid of him. I hope she wasn't badly injured.
Posted by: grammie winger at November 14, 2018 06:23 PM (lwiT4)

Why am I envisioning the scene from "The Godfather" where Gianni Russo beats up Talia Shire with belt?

Posted by: J.J. Sefton at November 14, 2018 06:24 PM (/9p9e)

148

Scumbags gonna scumbag...

Posted by: In Vino Veritits at November 14, 2018 06:24 PM (/W6k1)

149 The one two punch meme I saw on the Twitter.

Posted by: Dr Spank at November 14, 2018 06:24 PM (4e+hS)

150 This man is a menace. His wife is well rid of him. I hope she wasn't badly injured.
Posted by: grammie winger at November 14, 2018 06:23 PM (lwiT4)

Waiting to hear that the ex wife led the life of Nicole Simpson. That wouldn't surprise me at all.

Posted by: Jen the original at November 14, 2018 06:24 PM (jCCZJ)

151 138 Bitches be trippin'.
Ellison/Avenatti 2020 : The one two punch America Needs.
Posted by: Keith Ellison at November 14, 2018 06:23 PM (4e+hS)
--------------

I am glad I was not sipping any fine liquor when I read this.

Posted by: Blake - used bridge salesman at November 14, 2018 06:24 PM (qC1Sy)

152 ''Ellison/Avenatti 2020 : The one two punch America Needs.''

That is so worthy of a bumper sticker!

Posted by: Tuna at November 14, 2018 06:24 PM (jm1YL)

153 He looks like he was born with fetal alcohol syndrome.

Posted by: Max Power at November 14, 2018 06:25 PM (q177U)

154 146 Without hypocrisy molecules, leftists would have no molecules at all.
Posted by: zombie at November 14, 2018 06:24 PM (c+2jX)

Molecules mean little lumps, from the Greek. I'll bet Mrs. Avenatti has a few molecules on her face.

Posted by: J.J. Sefton at November 14, 2018 06:25 PM (/9p9e)

155 Well, I made Jane D'oh, Willow and Minnfidel all laugh, I'm calling it a night.

Don't forget to tip your waitress, and try the veal!

Posted by: Hawkpilot at November 14, 2018 06:25 PM (p6e8W)

156 Words would diminish how much I'm looking forward to Tucker's show tonight.

Posted by: Mister Christopher (in Atlanta!) at November 14, 2018 06:25 PM (XOi3t)

157 152 ''Ellison/Avenatti 2020 : The one two punch America Needs.''

That is so worthy of a bumper sticker!
Posted by: Tuna at November 14, 2018 06:24 PM (jm1YL)

They have to pose like David Sirota - BAM!

Posted by: J.J. Sefton at November 14, 2018 06:25 PM (/9p9e)

158 >>>So this is the reverse of the old adage don't put your dick in crazy?

Allowing crazy onto your dick is probably a way worse idea than putting your dick into crazy.

Posted by: wooga at November 14, 2018 06:25 PM (3I7wr)

159 to be fair, CPL probably freaked out when he heard it may snow tomorrow in DC.

Posted by: billionaires! At the bottom of it all! at November 14, 2018 06:25 PM (7J5t2)

160 "According to insane lib women, Tucker's son throwing a glass of wine in the face of the ass who called his sister a whore and a c*nt was uncalled for."

I have two daughters. Let someone talk to them like that and "uncalled for" will be replaced by "oh sweet God what happened to that guy, was he mauled by mountain lions?"

Posted by: UGAdawg at November 14, 2018 06:25 PM (tRd71)

161 Wife?

Objection. Assumes preferences not in evidence.

Posted by: Joe Mama at November 14, 2018 06:26 PM (IKtL/)

162 Everyone tighten your pussy hats. I am going in.

Posted by: Bill Kristol, Tottally independent. at November 14, 2018 06:26 PM (Sz3zs)

163 I believe the AoS style guide requires he be referred to as "Current, Declared, Democrat Party Presidential Candidate and frequent Official CNN Contributor" Michael Avenatti.
Ace, please update the post accordingly.
Thanks!

Posted by: Publius Redux at November 14, 2018 06:26 PM (Ro8/D)

164 so ted william has the hots for michael avenatti?

Posted by: yankeefifth at November 14, 2018 06:26 PM (MTjB1)

165 Hawkpilot, It was an Awful!
ly good joke

but bad bad

Posted by: willow at November 14, 2018 06:26 PM (aSpXp)

166 You go against Trump and it's just a matter of time before an ACME anvil falls out of the sky on your head.
Posted by: JackStraw at November 14, 2018 06:23 PM (/tuJf)

Trump's anvils are made of 24k gold.

luxurious. The best. Really.

Shitty for blacksmithing and farrier work, indeed, but well suited for their primary purpose of humorously dispatching enemies.

Posted by: Warai-otoko at November 14, 2018 06:26 PM (BRvh1)

167 When the loving penis doesn't work, the angry hand is used instead.

Posted by: -- motto of the Failed Man Society at November 14, 2018 06:26 PM (c+2jX)

168 145
saw a leftwing comment board and some dude was relating that his wife called Avenatti - Heavenatti

just let that sink in, not only the woman thought Avenatti was -
heavenly - but the cuck of a husband thought it was ok to let the world
know about it

Posted by: Retard Strength Trumps Smart Power at November 14, 2018 06:24 PM (RKQ/v)

---
Betas gotta beta.

It's probably the closest the guy's ever been to an aggressive screw in his life.

His own encounters were likely furtive and unsatisfying.

Posted by: K.N. McBride at November 14, 2018 06:26 PM (cfSRQ)

169 TMZ has many red pilled comenters.

Posted by: Max Power at November 14, 2018 06:26 PM (q177U)

170 He looks like he was born with fetal alcohol syndrome.

Posted by: Max Power at November 14, 2018 06:25 PM (q177U)

Strangely, no. He was one of those rare cases who acquired Fetal Alcohol Syndrome at age 30.

Posted by: naturalfake at November 14, 2018 06:26 PM (9X624)

171 No matter how hard I try, I can't get the grin off my face.

Posted by: Steve_in_SoCal at November 14, 2018 06:26 PM (q1VoB)

172 152 ''Ellison/Avenatti 2020 : The one two punch America Needs.''

That is so worthy of a bumper sticker!
Posted by: Tuna at November 14, 2018 06:24 PM (jm1YL)

Yeah, but how many Democrats will even know what it means? Especially those who get their news from the media.

Posted by: rickl at November 14, 2018 06:26 PM (sdi6R)

173 Karma Bitch

Posted by: Robert W Smith at November 14, 2018 06:27 PM (00YH/)

174 164 so ted william has the hots for michael avenatti?
Posted by: yankeefifth at November 14, 2018 06:26 PM (MTjB1)

"Huh?!"

- - Cloud William

Posted by: J.J. Sefton at November 14, 2018 06:27 PM (/9p9e)

175 I know how fast them bitches can get out of line...tune up time has to be swift and sudden...{POW}!

Posted by: Cory hands-on Booker at November 14, 2018 06:27 PM (yhf6w)

176 120
The intern also touched me first.

Posted by: Jim Acosta

Also, women are always bruising our rocks. Allah be praised.

Posted by: The Ayatollahs at November 14, 2018 06:27 PM (T6t7i)

177 170 He looks like he was born with fetal alcohol syndrome.

Posted by: Max Power at November 14, 2018 06:25 PM (q177U)

Strangely, no. He was one of those rare cases who acquired Fetal Alcohol Syndrome at age 30.

Posted by: naturalfake at November 14, 2018 06:26 PM (9X624)

He stuck his head in Stormy's hoo-hoo whilst she was douching with Everclear?

Posted by: J.J. Sefton at November 14, 2018 06:27 PM (/9p9e)

178 Yeah, but how many Democrats will even know what it means? Especially those who get their news from the media.
Posted by: rickl at November 14, 2018 06:26 PM (sdi6R)
-----------------

Democrats, by their very nature, have no sense of humor, so, it would escape them anyway.

Red America, however, is a whole 'nother story.

Posted by: Blake - used bridge salesman at November 14, 2018 06:28 PM (qC1Sy)

179 157 152 ''Ellison/Avenatti 2020 : The one two punch America Needs.''

That is so worthy of a bumper sticker!
Posted by: Tuna at November 14, 2018 06:24 PM (jm1YL)

They have to pose like David Sirota - BAM!
Posted by: J.J. Sefton at November 14, 2018 06:25 PM (/9p9e)

Wiener/Avenatti 2020:

"Well ain't that a punch in the dick..."

Posted by: Warai-otoko at November 14, 2018 06:28 PM (BRvh1)

180 Ya know, with a little practice at saying Praise Allah, he could be a future contender for AG of Minnesota.

Posted by: GunBreed at November 14, 2018 06:28 PM (Z4rgH)

181 I have two daughters. Let someone talk to them like that and "uncalled for" will be replaced by "oh sweet God what happened to that guy, was he mauled by mountain lions?"
Posted by: UGAdawg at November 14, 2018 06:25

Same here. If someone ever said that about my gals, wine would be the least of their problems. In fact I would make sure, liquids would be the only thing they were ever able to eat again.

Posted by: Minnfidel at November 14, 2018 06:28 PM (Sz3zs)

182 "You looking for a Democrat that can beat Hillary?"

Posted by: Creepy Porn Lawyer

I'd take her two out of three falls - unless, of course, she's schnockered, then all bets off.

Posted by: Boswell at November 14, 2018 06:28 PM (OjnQU)

183 179
"Well ain't that a punch in the dick..."
Posted by: Warai-otoko at November 14, 2018 06:28 PM (BRvh1)

Zombie Dean Martin is not amused...

Posted by: J.J. Sefton at November 14, 2018 06:29 PM (/9p9e)

184 Ike Turner unavailable for comment.

Posted by: Mallamutt at November 14, 2018 06:29 PM (/HC6x)

185 Ace,
Remember that Rick Wilson met with Avenatti recently, and crowed about his big clanking titanium balls (or something like that)!

Posted by: CharlieBrown'sDildo at November 14, 2018 06:29 PM (wYseH)

186 Pudding cups for all!

Posted by: Minnfidel at November 14, 2018 06:29 PM (Sz3zs)

187

Some day I'm gonna pretend Jimmy Kimmel is my wife and I'm gonna violate him domestically.

Posted by: Soothsayer SLX Pro Series II Platinum Turbo, Digitally Remastered at November 14, 2018 06:29 PM (LLkDq)

188 It's an old joke, but it fits:

Calling CPL scum is an insult... to actual scum.

Posted by: qdpsteve at November 14, 2018 06:30 PM (miE9U)

189 184 Ike Turner unavailable for comment.
Posted by: Mallamutt at November 14, 2018 06:29 PM (/HC6x)

"Ike Beats Tina To Death."

Greatest NY Post headline, evah!

Posted by: J.J. Sefton at November 14, 2018 06:30 PM (/9p9e)

190 62 The chasing after her part in front of witnesses is not exactly a smart lawyer move.

*honk* *honk*

Posted by: Harpo Marx at November 14, 2018 06:30 PM (NmR1a)

191 I'll have A VENTI barista (barister!) but hit with an extra shot on my ugly side (both?).

Posted by: saf at November 14, 2018 06:30 PM (5IHGB)

192 Well, well, well, the great depender of wymyn is a punchy, cheating, louse.

To quote the wise Gomer, surprise, surprise, surprise.

To quote me, nope, figured that Michael Avanatti Balboa was just a bum.

Posted by: The Mouse that Roared, Americans don't Serf at November 14, 2018 06:30 PM (Hn6S7)

193 I am warning all of my daughters to NEVER date "male feminists."

They are sociopaths, all of them. Any time a man starts acting like he believes all the wimmens, you can bet that he smacks 'em silly when they piss him off.

Posted by: K.N. McBride at November 14, 2018 06:30 PM (cfSRQ)

194 Didn't the latest poll of Democrats have him at 1%?

Joe B. and Bernard S. are the top two, and the only two above 20%.

Posted by: Duncanthrax at November 14, 2018 06:30 PM (ctuyM)

195 #BASTArd

Posted by: MSM is the Deep States Mentally Ill Girlffriend at November 14, 2018 06:30 PM (BqBId)

196 I missed the last thread but can someone explain the voting numbers on judicial appointments given freaky Flake's pronouncement?

This is what made me curious: "Remember that Cindy Hyde-Smith isn't around as much because of her runoff campaign. So we're at 49 without Flake, even assuming Collins and Murkowski stay on board.

Just hold the vote and let them vote yes, I doubt it gets to 60.
Posted by: Mike at November 14, 2018 06:22 PM (SFreT)"

Posted by: LASue at November 14, 2018 06:30 PM (XROPS)

197 Avenatti reached for comment. "It's just this war and that lyin' sonofabitch Trump."

Posted by: Minnfidel at November 14, 2018 06:30 PM (Sz3zs)

198 so are the left going to destroy this woman for pissing off their man?

Posted by: willow at November 14, 2018 06:30 PM (aSpXp)

199 Bitch set him up.

Posted by: Zombie Marion Barry at November 14, 2018 06:31 PM (IKtL/)

200 154 146 Without hypocrisy molecules, leftists would have no molecules at all.
Posted by: zombie at November 14, 2018 06:24 PM (c+2jX)

Molecules mean little lumps, from the Greek. I'll bet Mrs. Avenatti has a few molecules on her face.
Posted by: J.J. Sefton

Whenever I mention, in casual conversation with science geeks I meet, that "atom" in ancient Greek literally means "can't be cut" -- i.e. a particle of matter so small that it can;'t be divided any further, thus solving Zeno's Paradox -- from "a-" meaning "not" "can't" "no" (i.e. "atypical," etc.) and "-tom," to cut, and therefore an "atom" is literally defined as the smallest possible chunk of any element -- which in fact, it is -- that blows their blows.

Then I slap them for being so stupid.

Posted by: zombie at November 14, 2018 06:31 PM (c+2jX)

201 I think they got that spell of binding wrong...

Posted by: Max Power at November 14, 2018 06:31 PM (q177U)

202 After I told her twice, - she betrayed me!

Posted by: Michael Avenatti at November 14, 2018 06:31 PM (Z9C5C)

203
Sounds like Putin's handiwork, to me.

Posted by: Soothsayer SLX Pro Series II Platinum Turbo, Digitally Remastered at November 14, 2018 06:31 PM (LLkDq)

204 Help this clown go away.

Posted by: John Kasich at November 14, 2018 06:31 PM (bjDf4)

205 Ellison/Avenatti 2020 : Bitches Will, In All Likelihood, Need Stitches.

Posted by: Dr Spank at November 14, 2018 06:31 PM (4e+hS)

206 193 I am warning all of my daughters to NEVER date "male feminists."

They are sociopaths, all of them. Any time a man starts acting like he believes all the wimmens, you can bet that he smacks 'em silly when they piss him off.
Posted by: K.N. McBride at November 14, 2018 06:30 PM (cfSRQ)

Dyslexic for men-i-fists..

Posted by: J.J. Sefton at November 14, 2018 06:31 PM (/9p9e)

207 that blows their blows = that blows their minds.

Sheesh!

Posted by: zombie at November 14, 2018 06:31 PM (c+2jX)

208 where's Gloria Alred, of course she will take this case on , right?

Posted by: willow at November 14, 2018 06:32 PM (aSpXp)

209 ''Same here. If someone ever said that about my gals, wine would be the least of their problems. In fact I would make sure, liquids would be the only thing they were ever able to eat again. ''

The only thing left undone by Tucker's son was to slap the creep across the face with his gloves and advise demand satisfaction. 'Pistols or swords?''

Posted by: Tuna at November 14, 2018 06:32 PM (jm1YL)

210 She gave me five across the lips first!

Posted by: Fred G. Sanford, the "G" is for Guess what's in this hand, honey? at November 14, 2018 06:32 PM (aaDlx)

211 198 so are the left going to destroy this woman for pissing off their man?
Posted by: willow at November 14, 2018 06:30 PM (aSpXp)

--------------------------

SOP for the left when one of their favored ones is in trouble.

Posted by: Blake - used bridge salesman at November 14, 2018 06:32 PM (qC1Sy)

212 #MeatToo...

Because you better put a raw steak on that eye, bitch. You got work tomorrow.

Posted by: It ain't easy bein' greasy at November 14, 2018 06:32 PM (BRvh1)

213 We Wops are a slappy race. Not denying it.

Posted by: All Hail Eris, Literate Savage at November 14, 2018 06:32 PM (kQs4Y)

214 If the phrase "douche canoe" hadn't already been invented, it would have been necessary that someone do so to describe Avanatti.

Posted by: pep at November 14, 2018 06:32 PM (T6t7i)

215 200
Then I slap them for being so stupid.
Posted by: zombie at November 14, 2018 06:31 PM (c+2jX)

"Really? Maybe that's an alibi."

- - Michael Avenatti

Posted by: J.J. Sefton at November 14, 2018 06:32 PM (/9p9e)

216 NBC even reported it. Makes sense because I'm pretty sure he's outlived his usefulness for the Dems. They just want him to sink back into the septic tank, especially after the Kavanaugh fiasco.

Posted by: Dack Thrombosis at November 14, 2018 06:32 PM (4ErVI)

217 He may have hit her....but at leat he didn't put her resume in s binder for future employment consideration cause that is super sexist or something.

Posted by: Mallamutt at November 14, 2018 06:32 PM (/HC6x)

218 Old sock double.

Posted by: golfman at November 14, 2018 06:33 PM (bjDf4)

219 213 We Wops are a slappy race. Not denying it.
Posted by: All Hail Eris, Literate Savage at November 14, 2018 06:32 PM (kQs4Y)

Wee Wops. Sounds like a knock off of my favorite Chinatown restaurant or a small Italian.

Posted by: J.J. Sefton at November 14, 2018 06:33 PM (/9p9e)

220 I think we should all just wait to voice our opinions until Bill Soros Kristol tells us what to think.

Posted by: Minnfidel at November 14, 2018 06:33 PM (Sz3zs)

221 He may have hit her....but at leat he didn't put her resume in s binder for future employment consideration cause that is super sexist or something.
Posted by: Mallamutt

She was seen on his rooftop carrier, however.

Posted by: Joe Mama at November 14, 2018 06:34 PM (IKtL/)

222 To be fair, it sounds plausible that she may have started it. He just decided to finish it. She was SHOCKED that he actually laid a hand on her after she hit him.

I'm not condoning his behavior, but we can all imagine what kind of high maintenance ornament Avenatti must have had, and we all probably assume that at some point, he just got tired of taking her shit.

Again, not condoning what he did, but it is possible that what he said was true - that she started it.

Posted by: Teresa in Fort Worth, Texas at November 14, 2018 06:34 PM (uDcBt)

223 Am I missing something by not being an Avenatti-grade asshole?

Posted by: Weasel at November 14, 2018 06:34 PM (MVjcR)

224 I might just leave early to see what TuCa has to say about this.

Posted by: Steve_in_SoCal at November 14, 2018 06:34 PM (q1VoB)

225 Bill Soros Kristol
Posted by: Minnfidel

Bill Krisorostol.

Tell Ace that one -- I think it might stick.

Posted by: zombie at November 14, 2018 06:34 PM (c+2jX)

226 so, do we know for sure this was not some surprise anal / donkey punch combo with a counter clockwise swirl gone wrong?

why did you turn around?

Posted by: yankeefifth at November 14, 2018 06:35 PM (MTjB1)

227 I think my Schadenboner Dysfunction Syndrome is cured.

Thank you Creepy Porn Lawyer!

Posted by: JackStraw at November 14, 2018 06:35 PM (/tuJf)

228 Well, that makes the first campaign ad a little tricky eh Mike?

Posted by: Minnfidel at November 14, 2018 06:35 PM (Sz3zs)

229 223
Am I missing something by not being an Avenatti-grade asshole?

Posted by: Weasel at November 14, 2018 06:34 PM (MVjcR)

Hours of broadcast time on CNN, but only if you find value in that.

Posted by: The Mouse that Roared, Americans don't Serf at November 14, 2018 06:35 PM (Hn6S7)

230 Bad shit happening to the Bad Lawyer and his Ol' Lady ?

This is my Sit Back, Laugh, and Not Waste a Fucking Ounce of Effort to Help Face.

Posted by: The Midnight Rider at November 14, 2018 06:35 PM (VarTq)

231 Bill Soros Kristol
Posted by: Minnfidel

Bill Krisorostol.

Tell Ace that one -- I think it might stick.
Posted by: zombie at November 14, 2018 06:34 PM

I like it!

Posted by: Minnfidel at November 14, 2018 06:35 PM (Sz3zs)

232 Hmmm; I can't decide if I like Slappy or Pimp Hand better.

Is DeNiro Slappy or Punchy?

Posted by: LASue at November 14, 2018 06:36 PM (XROPS)

233 Must've gone to the Keith Ellison Charm School and Relationship Counseling Center

Posted by: Concerned People's Front, Boofing Chapter at November 14, 2018 06:36 PM (hSQF+)

234 Avenatti: Son, in this world there are bitch ex-wives, whose going to beat them, you Joe Biden? I have a responsibility you can't possibly imagine! I use words like round house and upper cut, you use them as a punchline!

Posted by: Boswell at November 14, 2018 06:36 PM (OjnQU)

235 there should be something, legally, to the she hit me first defense.

the never hit a woman standard, which I do agree with, should not be codified.

Posted by: yankeefifth at November 14, 2018 06:36 PM (MTjB1)

236 228
Well, that makes the first campaign ad a little tricky eh Mike?

Posted by: Minnfidel at November 14, 2018 06:35 PM (Sz3zs)

Michael Avenatti. He'll fight for you. And you.

Posted by: Steve_in_SoCal at November 14, 2018 06:36 PM (q1VoB)

237 and therefore an "atom" is literally defined as the smallest possible chunk of any element -- which in fact, it is -- that blows their blows.
Posted by: zombie at November 14, 2018 06:31 PM

Ah, grasshopper, the Universe consists of protons, electrons, neutrons, and morons.

Posted by: Master Po at November 14, 2018 06:37 PM (ctuyM)

238 bitch, don't talk about stormy like that!

Posted by: yankeefifth at November 14, 2018 06:37 PM (MTjB1)

239 I plead not guilty by reason of democrat.

Posted by: CPL at November 14, 2018 06:37 PM (5jVnA)

240 Bill Kristolsoros? Sounds a bit like Kristallnacht.

Posted by: LASue at November 14, 2018 06:37 PM (XROPS)

241 guess she should have known calling him creepy porn lawyer was a bridge too far.

Posted by: yankeefifth at November 14, 2018 06:37 PM (MTjB1)

242 I'm not condoning his behavior, but we can all imagine what kind of high maintenance ornament Avenatti must have had, and we all probably assume that at some point, he just got tired of taking her shit.

Again, not condoning what he did, but it is possible that what he said was true - that she started it.
Posted by: Teresa in Fort Worth, Texas at November 14, 2018 06:34 PM (uDcBt)

------------

Or, wife could have confronted CPL about serial adultery and he told her to deal with it and she then slapped him.

Posted by: Blake - used bridge salesman at November 14, 2018 06:38 PM (qC1Sy)

243 Nothing. He already told her twice..

Posted by: Just the Punchline at November 14, 2018 06:38 PM (yQpMk)

244 Right? How did Stormy pay her legal bill?

Posted by: Tinfoilbaby at November 14, 2018 06:38 PM (bQtop)

245 Some people here may remember me telling about marrying young many years ago, a handsome, successful man.

He was a monster. Abused me physically and emotionally. I was too ashamed to let anyone know. My parents and friends had begged me not to marry him. Thankfully, I got out alive less than three years later. The bastard continued to stalk me, even when I moved to Atlanta.

Let me put it this way. I will KILL ANYONE who ever lays a hand on me again.

Posted by: Jane D'oh at November 14, 2018 06:39 PM (ptqGC)

246 This guy is a train wreck in human form. Seriously, he's Charlie Sheen with a law degree.

Posted by: Mr. Peebles at November 14, 2018 06:39 PM (oVJmc)

247 So this happened in Century City, CA...his excuse is going to be 'I was so traumatized by the wild fires which was totally caused by Trump being a climate denier'

Posted by: IC at November 14, 2018 06:39 PM (a0IVu)

248 The Holy Qu'ran approves:

Surah 14:27:
"If thine member is shriveled and limp, and shame fills thy soul, Strike thy concubine with fists and rods; but he who strikes his concubine with rods thicker than a camel's ankle shall surely taste hellfire."

See? Allah is merciful.

Posted by: zombie at November 14, 2018 06:39 PM (c+2jX)

249 Wait...Avenatti has a place he rents that he hasn't been evicted from.....that is the real news here.

Posted by: Mallamutt at November 14, 2018 06:40 PM (/HC6x)

250 Jane, we would ALL kill the emeffer.

Posted by: All Hail Eris, Literate Savage at November 14, 2018 06:40 PM (kQs4Y)

251
A gentleman always takes his hat off before hitting a woman.

Posted by: Hadrian the Seventh at November 14, 2018 06:40 PM (LsBY9)

252 Jane, we would ALL kill the emeffer.

Posted by: All Hail Eris, Literate Savage at November 14, 2018 06:40 PM (kQs4Y)

Probably more than once!

Posted by: Comrade Hrothgar at November 14, 2018 06:41 PM (n9EOP)

253
Let me put it this way. I will KILL ANYONE who ever lays a hand on me again.

Posted by: Jane D'oh at November 14, 2018 06:39 PM (ptqGC)

Put out a call to the ettes...we will come help you. And then go shopping and drink margaritas.

Posted by: IC at November 14, 2018 06:41 PM (a0IVu)

254 David Hogg must be heartbroken as are the women of The View.

Posted by: redridinghood at November 14, 2018 06:41 PM (hECVl)

255 And Avenatti is the new "star" that the Democrats have hitched themselves to?

Yeah, good luck with that.

Posted by: OregonMuse. AoSHQ Thought Leader & Pants Monitor at November 14, 2018 06:41 PM (6fsOH)

256 A gentleman always takes his hat off before hitting a woman.

Posted by: Hadrian the Seventh at November 14, 2018 06:40 PM (LsBY9)

NOW, you tell me...

Posted by: CPL at November 14, 2018 06:42 PM (n9EOP)

257 90 Rumor has it a leftwing fox contributor I'll call "Gizmo" had a thing for Michael "Beat 'em and Cheat 'em" Avenatti.
Posted by: ace at November 14, 2018 06:17 PM (PbpT7)

So you're saying that there are actually a bunch of women out there that would let this douchebag grab them by the pussy just because of his "status?"

Who could have predicted that.

Posted by: Buzzion at November 14, 2018 06:42 PM (WaxcS)

258 reaking911 @breaking9111
BREAKING After rebuke from the First Lady's office, Deputy National Security Adviser Mira Ricardel has departed the White House NBC News

Posted by: MSM is the Deep States Mentally Ill Girlffriend at November 14, 2018 06:42 PM (BqBId)

259 I did a Google search and yeah, his wife looks very Jersey. But I also saw pics of Pimp Hand squiring Christie Brinkley. Whaaaa?

Posted by: All Hail Eris, Literate Savage at November 14, 2018 06:42 PM (kQs4Y)

260 💩venatti reminds me of Steve Martin's dentist character in Little Shop of Horrors.

Posted by: Concerned People's Front, Boofing Chapter at November 14, 2018 06:42 PM (hSQF+)

261 *BAM* *POW* *BLAM*

Posted by: Caped Crusader Av at November 14, 2018 06:42 PM (r9UYA)

262 Jane D'oh: right on! Same here.

I dealt will bullying all through school and even into college a bit. I will never put up with it again. I will go apeshit.

Posted by: qdpsteve at November 14, 2018 06:42 PM (miE9U)

263 Or, wife could have confronted CPL about serial adultery and he told her to deal with it and she then slapped him.
Posted by: Blake - used bridge salesman at November 14, 2018 06:38 PM

Ladies, take it from me, you want a golf club. The trick, of course, is club selection.

The sand wedge is the club for bad lies.

Posted by: (The former) Mrs. T. Woods at November 14, 2018 06:43 PM (ctuyM)

264
Alternate Post Title:

Michael Avenatti Just Became A "Republican" As Far As Fake News Is Concerned

Posted by: Soothsayer SLX Pro Series II Platinum Turbo, Digitally Remastered at November 14, 2018 06:43 PM (LLkDq)

265 So, this means he's the Dem front-runner for 2020, right?

Posted by: Mr. Peebles at November 14, 2018 06:43 PM (oVJmc)

266 Netflix has a contract waiting......(

...........the crazy fuck is so deep in debt he'd sign a deal to appear on the kids comic section......where he belongs....damn passing the BAR must be so low even a limbo dancer couldn't get under it.

Posted by: saf at November 14, 2018 06:43 PM (5IHGB)

267 He screamed repeatedly, "She hit me first."

Is that because you missed, or did she block you before drilling you?

Posted by: t-bird at November 14, 2018 06:43 PM (98WNR)

268 237 and therefore an "atom" is literally defined as the smallest possible chunk of any element -- which in fact, it is -- that blows their blows.
Posted by: zombie at November 14, 2018 06:31 PM

Ah, grasshopper, the Universe consists of protons, electrons, neutrons, and morons.
Posted by: Master Po

Yeah, quantum physics messed up the Greek's vision of things -- HOWEVER, once you divide up an atom into its constituent subatomic parts, it loses its characteristics of whatever type of atom it was.. A proton from a gold atom is exactly like a proton from a helium atom - -they're interchangeable. But once they're assembled into stable atom forms, they acquire unique attributes. So, the Greeks were sorta right after all.

Posted by: zombie at November 14, 2018 06:43 PM (c+2jX)

269 CWL is now officially more Indian than Elizabeth Warren.

Member in full standing of the Slapaho tribe.

Posted by: Warai-otoko at November 14, 2018 06:43 PM (BRvh1)

270 I have to congratulate the leftists for creating a Fake Conservative Movement and Leadership-

they've pretty much led us around by the nose for 30 years.

That pretty much demands a medal or something-

The Congressional Medal of Cuckery.

Make it so!

Fake conservatives
Fake elections with fake voting
Fake 3rd party candidates
Fake investigations
Fake Racial divides

But the murders are real. Ask Seth Rich

Posted by: Max Power at November 14, 2018 06:44 PM (q177U)

271
Jane, we would ALL kill the emeffer.

Posted by: All Hail Eris, Literate Savage at November 14, 2018 06:40 PM (kQs4Y)

He lived in SC, and I came out of my Atlanta apartment one morning (and had an unlisted number), and his business card was on my windshield, with the note: "I banged on your door last night and you didn't answer." Jeebus. I had come home late from work and literally passed out exhausted. Gave me chills.

He used to tell me he knew former ATL cops who "for a price" would kill me. All I did was leave him, and took absolutely nothing from him.

Posted by: Jane D'oh at November 14, 2018 06:44 PM (ptqGC)

272 The sand wedge is the club for bad lies.
Posted by: (The former) Mrs. T. Woods at November 14, 2018 06:43 PM (ctuyM)
---
Ha! I like the mashie.

Posted by: All Hail Eris, Literate Savage at November 14, 2018 06:44 PM (kQs4Y)

273 In a case like this,

#BelieveAllWomen

Posted by: GunBreed at November 14, 2018 06:44 PM (Z4rgH)

274 Does #BelieveAllWomen apply here?

Posted by: LASue at November 14, 2018 06:44 PM (XROPS)

275 Is that because you missed, or did she block you before drilling you?
Posted by: t-bird at November 14, 2018 06:43 PM (98WNR)
---------------------

Just had this vision of CPL winding up and she quickly got him in the seeds....

Posted by: Blake - used bridge salesman at November 14, 2018 06:45 PM (qC1Sy)

276 Let me put it this way. I will KILL ANYONE who ever lays a hand on me again.
Posted by: Jane D'oh

Can women have newsletters? Because I want to subscribe to your newsletter.

Posted by: zombie at November 14, 2018 06:45 PM (c+2jX)

277

Anyone remember the old phrase "Hard working Indian?"

As in, "Boy, that old refrigerator is a hard working indian."

Posted by: Soothsayer SLX Pro Series II Platinum Turbo, Digitally Remastered at November 14, 2018 06:45 PM (LLkDq)

278 Knuckle Sandwich.

Now I'm hungry.

Posted by: LASue at November 14, 2018 06:45 PM (XROPS)

279 The Holy Qu'ran approves:

Surah 14:27:
"If thine member is shriveled and limp, and shame fills thy soul, Strike thy concubine with fists and rods; but he who strikes his concubine with rods thicker than a camel's ankle shall surely taste hellfire."

See? Allah is merciful.
Posted by: zombie at November 14, 2018 06:39 PM (c+2jX)

8:30:

"And remember, when those who disbelieved plotted against The Golden Scalp Weasel, to restrain him or kill him or evict him. But they plan, and The Golden Scalp Weasel plans. And The Golden Scalp Weasel is the best of planners."

Posted by: hogmartin at November 14, 2018 06:45 PM (t+qrx)

280 #BelieveTheSurvivors

Posted by: Concerned People's Front, Boofing Chapter at November 14, 2018 06:45 PM (hSQF+)

281 "...but I don't think Michael 'Ave-a-KnuckleSandwich's presidential delusions are going to survive this."
---
FTFY, Boss!

Posted by: redc1c4 at November 14, 2018 06:45 PM (Dagiw)

282 David Hogg must be heartbroken

I'm a survivor! Domestic abuse gets added to the list. *pedals away*

Posted by: "Camera" Hogg at November 14, 2018 06:46 PM (nIvDu)

283 Posted by: GunBreed at November 14, 2018 06:44 PM (Z4rgH)

Ha!

Posted by: LASue at November 14, 2018 06:46 PM (XROPS)

284 Dang, Jane, so sorry.

Posted by: All Hail Eris, Literate Savage at November 14, 2018 06:46 PM (kQs4Y)

285 It's not like he threw wine on somebody or drunkenly tried to get to 2nd base over two layers of clothing.

THAT'S assault-assault, idiots.

Posted by: Moron Robbie - Thoughts and prayers for RBG 🐘 at November 14, 2018 06:46 PM (LX21o)

286 Someone please ask Mr. Avenatti if we still 'must believe the womens.'

Posted by: Mr. Peebles at November 14, 2018 06:47 PM (oVJmc)

287 249 Wait...Avenatti has a place he rents that he hasn't been evicted from.....that is the real news here.

is it in dc?

Posted by: Homess-Cortex at November 14, 2018 06:47 PM (NmR1a)

288 If he used an open hand, that just showed how much he loved her.

Posted by: K.N. McBride at November 14, 2018 06:47 PM (cfSRQ)

289 I'm very sorry for his wife, first and foremost.

But his getting caught couldn't happen to a more deserving guy.

Posted by: bluebell at November 14, 2018 06:47 PM (U5tDi)

290 but he who strikes his concubine with rods thicker than a camel's ankle shall surely taste hellfire.

---

Holy crap. That's baseball bat size, isn't it?

Posted by: Moron Robbie - Thoughts and prayers for RBG 🐘 at November 14, 2018 06:48 PM (LX21o)

291 288 If he used an open hand, that just showed how much he loved her.
Posted by: K.N. McBride

Mixed Martial Love.

Posted by: zombie at November 14, 2018 06:48 PM (c+2jX)

292 Jane,

I'm good with my .357
and I can mix a mean mojito!!

ooooo, shoes!

can we dance now?

Posted by: nurse ratched at November 14, 2018 06:48 PM (d7Ww2)

293 A gentleman always takes his hat off before hitting a woman.
Posted by: Hadrian the Seventh at November 14, 2018 06:40 PM (LsBY9)

and if it happens on the street?

He makes sure he is nearer the curb when he bashes the crap out of her.

Posted by: Don Q at November 14, 2018 06:48 PM (NgKpN)

294 is it in dc?

Posted by: Homess-Cortex at November 14, 2018 06:47 PM (NmR1a)

Century City, Los Angeles

Posted by: IC at November 14, 2018 06:48 PM (a0IVu)

295 He's been quite the hero on MSLSD and CNN. I wonder how Mika and Joe will spin this? Or Alisyn Camerota?

Posted by: Jane D'oh at November 14, 2018 06:09 PM (ptqGC)

Estranged, huh?

After he gets out on bail, maybe I can buy him dinner!

Posted by: Alisyn Camerota at November 14, 2018 06:49 PM (UsCnO)

296 Mixed Martial Love.
Posted by: zombie at November 14, 2018 06:48 PM (c+2jX)

His rear naked choke really is.

Posted by: Colorado Alex In Exile at November 14, 2018 06:49 PM (SgjGX)

297 Too bad for Ol' CPL" Slappy Pimp Hand" Avenatti, his arrest will not save him from owing Pres. Trump the mandatory attorneys' fee and sanctions award he is about to be slapped with (hehe!) for his TCPL-dismissed claim.

Posted by: LASue at November 14, 2018 06:49 PM (XROPS)

298
I wonder how Mika and Joe will spin this? Or Alisyn Camerota?

As if he doesn't exist.

Posted by: Soothsayer SLX Pro Series II Platinum Turbo, Digitally Remastered at November 14, 2018 06:50 PM (LLkDq)

299 290 but he who strikes his concubine with rods thicker than a camel's ankle shall surely taste hellfire.

---

Holy crap. That's baseball bat size, isn't it?
Posted by: Moron Robbie

Yeah, approximately.

(You do realize, I hope, that I made that quote up out of thin air. There are actual passages from Mohammed allowing wife-beating with rods thinner than a certain diameter, but I was too lazy to look them up for an exact quote. So it was "Fake, but accurate.")

Posted by: zombie at November 14, 2018 06:50 PM (c+2jX)

300 291
288 If he used an open hand, that just showed how much he loved her.

Posted by: K.N. McBride

Mixed Martial Love.

Posted by: zombie at November 14, 2018 06:48 PM (c+2jX)

---
Actually, I don't think he's into the loving slap. I'm pretty sure a world-class dick like him was throwing haymakers.

Posted by: K.N. McBride at November 14, 2018 06:50 PM (cfSRQ)

301 http://bit.ly/2OGfmHm
=====
Dedicated to CPL ! #BASTArd

Posted by: MSM is the Deep States Mentally Ill Girlffriend at November 14, 2018 06:50 PM (BqBId)

302 I'd let him beat me!

He said Orange Man Bad!

Posted by: Mika at November 14, 2018 06:50 PM (//voU)

303 He seemed so nice!

Posted by: USNtakim profoundly deplorable. at November 14, 2018 06:50 PM (0OmEj)

304 He looks "hitty."
..........

Looks like a biter to me.

Posted by: wth at November 14, 2018 06:50 PM (HgMAr)

305 Maybe he CAN take on Hillary.

Posted by: Mr. Peebles at November 14, 2018 06:50 PM (oVJmc)

306 I did a Google search and yeah, his wife looks very Jersey. But I also saw pics of Pimp Hand squiring Christie Brinkley. Whaaaa?
Posted by: All Hail Eris, Literate Savage at November 14, 2018 06:42 PM (kQs4Y)

What does "looks very Jersey" mean? Like the made up "Jersey shore" women?

Posted by: FenelonSpoke at November 14, 2018 06:50 PM (AllCR)

307 Dang, Jane, so sorry.

Posted by: All Hail Eris, Literate Savage at November 14, 2018 06:46 PM (kQs4Y)

I survived the evil SOB and became stronger for it. He harassed me for years until one night he called me really late, and I, who he'd never, ever heard swear said: "You cock-sucking SOB. Grow some balls to replace those tiny ones you have and get a life, you bastard. You want to kill me? Come at me!" And I hung up and thought "Whoops." Never heard from him again.

Now I'm very happily married to a gem.

Posted by: Jane D'oh at November 14, 2018 06:51 PM (ptqGC)

308 It'll never go to trial. She'll recant and say she loves him and it was just a terrible misunderstanding and yes she'll go back on the pole.

Posted by: Jaimo at November 14, 2018 06:51 PM (EVJ0V)

309 245 Some people here may remember me telling about marrying young many years ago, a handsome, successful man.

He was a monster. Abused me physically and emotionally. I was too ashamed to let anyone know. My parents and friends had begged me not to marry him. Thankfully, I got out alive less than three years later. The bastard continued to stalk me, even when I moved to Atlanta.

Let me put it this way. I will KILL ANYONE who ever lays a hand on me again.

Posted by: Jane D'oh at November 14, 2018 06:39 PM (ptqGC)

Jane, I have the same story - handsome, charismatic, owned a couple of businesses . . .

Beat me up when I was pregnant too, the bastard - among other incidents.

The catalyst was the night he said, "one of us has to get out of this house or one of us is going to end up dead."

It's what motivated me to go to a judge to have him removed from our house, buy a handgun and learn how to use it.

I had two children with him. Thank God we got out of the situation and that my children are NOTHING like him.

Posted by: Marybeth at November 14, 2018 06:51 PM (MEgUr)

310 NOT GUILTY!

Posted by: Ike Turner, Attorney at Law at November 14, 2018 06:51 PM (oVJmc)

311 I never understood guys who would hit women.

Wrestling with them, sure, but never hitting.

Posted by: K.N. McBride at November 14, 2018 06:51 PM (cfSRQ)

312 Awwww, just tell her to put some ice on it.

Posted by: Bill Clinton at November 14, 2018 06:52 PM (xSo9G)

313 Saint Michael was just defending my honor!

Posted by: Horseface at November 14, 2018 06:52 PM (Ta69/)

314 It's the wife's fault. What kind of person would marry a sleazy porn lawyer?

Posted by: Kate Winslet's boobs at November 14, 2018 06:52 PM (ok0Y5)

315 (You do realize, I hope, that I made that quote up out of thin air. There are actual passages from Mohammed allowing wife-beating with rods thinner than a certain diameter, but I was too lazy to look them up for an exact quote. So it was "Fake, but accurate.")
Posted by: zombie at November 14, 2018 06:50 PM (c+2jX)
-------------

Think, "rule of thumb" in that the rod of correction should be no larger in diameter than the thumb.

Posted by: Blake - used bridge salesman at November 14, 2018 06:52 PM (qC1Sy)

316 Shoot him.

Posted by: Unclefacts, yeah, that one. at November 14, 2018 06:52 PM (Ayk4B)

317 Wrestling with them, sure, but never hitting.
Posted by: K.N. McBride at N

you just tickle them until they pee.

Posted by: yankeefifth at November 14, 2018 06:52 PM (MTjB1)

318 This will get out of control. This will get out of control, and we'll be lucky to live through Iowa.

Posted by: Adm. CPL's 2020 Campaign at November 14, 2018 06:52 PM (ctuyM)

319
Someone please ask Mr. Avenatti if we still 'must believe the womens.'

Posted by: Mr. Peebles at November 14, 2018 06:47 PM (oVJmc)
............

Guilty until proven innocent. New Rules.

Posted by: wth at November 14, 2018 06:52 PM (HgMAr)

320 311 I never understood guys who would hit women.

Wrestling with them, sure, but never hitting.
Posted by: K.N. McBride at November 14, 2018 06:51 PM (cfSRQ)

You have to wonder though about the fuses on Mr. Maxine Waters and Mr. Hillary Clinton...

Posted by: J.J. Sefton at November 14, 2018 06:52 PM (/9p9e)

321 g'early evenin', 'rons

Posted by: AltonJackson at November 14, 2018 06:53 PM (KCxzN)

322 (You do realize, I hope, that I made that quote up out of thin air. There are actual passages from Mohammed allowing wife-beating with rods thinner than a certain diameter, but I was too lazy to look them up for an exact quote. So it was "Fake, but accurate.")

Posted by: zombie at November 14, 2018 06:50 PM (c+2jX)

---

Ha. No, I didn't. Honestly I figured that was some new testament kinder/gentler Koran since it didn't demand child rape or outright murder for someone slightly disagreeing with you.

Posted by: Moron Robbie - Thoughts and prayers for RBG 🐘 at November 14, 2018 06:53 PM (LX21o)

323 I look at fat ass Mr. Kellyanne Conway and he gives me an abuser vibe.

Posted by: Jane D'oh at November 14, 2018 06:54 PM (ptqGC)

324 I hope his Twitter feed is nothing but #BelieveAllWomen from now until the cows come home.

These cows are coming from India, by the way.

Posted by: bluebell at November 14, 2018 06:54 PM (U5tDi)

325 "You have to wonder though about the fuses on Mr. Maxine Waters and Mr. Hillary Clinton..."

Naw - those two have surely been beaten literally into submission by now.

Posted by: Boswell at November 14, 2018 06:54 PM (OjnQU)

326 I'd hit her.
*hic*

Posted by: hILLRY o O at November 14, 2018 06:54 PM (HgMAr)

327 306
I did a Google search and yeah, his wife looks very Jersey. But I also
saw pics of Pimp Hand squiring Christie Brinkley. Whaaaa?

Posted by: All Hail Eris, Literate Savage at November 14, 2018 06:42 PM (kQs4Y)

---
Brinkley has a history of ending up with less than upstanding men.

True fact: Often stunningly beautiful women have absolutely terrible self-esteem. For those Morons still in the market, a show of reckless confidence towards such damsels can often pay handsome rewards since cads are often the only guys who are willing to take a chance on them.

Posted by: K.N. McBride at November 14, 2018 06:55 PM (cfSRQ)

328 Hello, AltonJackson.

Posted by: hogmartin at November 14, 2018 06:55 PM (t+qrx)

329 "She hit me first!"

Had he married Michelle, he would still be unconscious.

Posted by: t-bird at November 14, 2018 06:55 PM (CE5C/)

330 hey, hogmartin

Posted by: AltonJackson at November 14, 2018 06:56 PM (KCxzN)

331 Actually, this will probably work to his advantage among Dems. Battered Wife Syndrome is inherent to their psychology.

Posted by: Mike Hammer, etc., etc. at November 14, 2018 06:56 PM (xSo9G)

332 I hope his Twitter feed is nothing but #BelieveAllWomen from now until the cows come home.
Posted by: bluebell at November 14, 2018 06:54 PM (U5tDi)

Bet you anything he deletes his account. Or has his lawyer delete it, since he's still in jail.

Posted by: hogmartin at November 14, 2018 06:56 PM (t+qrx)

333 Brinkley has a history of ending up with less than upstanding men.

True fact: Often stunningly beautiful women have absolutely terrible self-esteem. For those Morons still in the market, a show of reckless confidence towards such damsels can often pay handsome rewards since cads are often the only guys who are willing to take a chance on them.
Posted by: K.N. McBride at N

well, how many marriages has she been through? after the second failed marriage you should at least entertain the thought that the problem might be you.

Posted by: yankeefifth at November 14, 2018 06:57 PM (MTjB1)

334 I'm really curious to see what Mrs Creepy Porn Lawyer is all about. Never mind the hitting, he just oozes slime.

I bet she is a beaut.

Posted by: JackStraw at November 14, 2018 06:57 PM (/tuJf)

335 317
Wrestling with them, sure, but never hitting.

Posted by: K.N. McBride at N

you just tickle them until they pee.

Posted by: yankeefifth at November 14, 2018 06:52 PM (MTjB1)

---
I THOUGHT YOU WERE KIDDING!

Posted by: K.N. McBride at November 14, 2018 06:57 PM (cfSRQ)

336 Or has his lawyer delete it, since he's still in jail.

OMG. There is a Creepy Porn Lawyer Lawyer.

Posted by: Mr. Peebles at November 14, 2018 06:57 PM (oVJmc)

337 Probably a set-up by the vast right wing conspiracy.

Posted by: Hillary at November 14, 2018 06:57 PM (CDGwz)

338 I anticipate the Marion Berry defense:

"Bytch set me up!"

Posted by: Nom de Blog at November 14, 2018 06:57 PM (wFDuq)

339 A gentleman only strikes his lady fair with an open hand.

Posted by: Sean Connery at November 14, 2018 06:57 PM (H5knJ)

340 OMG. There is a Creepy Porn Lawyer Lawyer.
Posted by: Mr. Peebles at November 14, 2018 06:57 PM (oVJmc)

Truly, it is Creepy Porn Lawyers all the way down.

Posted by: hogmartin at November 14, 2018 06:58 PM (t+qrx)

341 She hit me first! Told me she was pregnant with my baby!

Posted by: Zombie Ted Kennedy at November 14, 2018 06:58 PM (UGKMd)

342 People here may be criticizing Creepy Porn Lawyer, but this didn't stop Keith "X" Ellison elected as Minnesota AG.

The AG is the "top cop" of the entire state.

Think about that for a while, specifically the mindset of those that voted for him.

Posted by: LeftCoast Dawg at November 14, 2018 06:58 PM (UsCnO)

343 This is horrible but lets face it: it's nearly as bad as making a boastful, sarcastic comment in private about grabbing pussy. Which no doubt caused the atmosphere of misogyny that enabled this.

Posted by: Ripley at November 14, 2018 06:58 PM (NbRJx)

344 OMG. There is a Creepy Porn Lawyer Lawyer.
Posted by: Mr. Peebles
-----------

The Democrat party is full of Lawyer Lawyers.

Posted by: Hillary at November 14, 2018 06:58 PM (CDGwz)

345 A Creepy Porn Lawyerboros.

Posted by: hogmartin at November 14, 2018 06:58 PM (t+qrx)

346 Dear Suburban Mom Voters Who "Just Couldn't" two weeks ago,
Behold one of your f'n White Knights.

Posted by: 2009Refugee at November 14, 2018 06:58 PM (2xR5z)

347 339
A gentleman only strikes his lady fair with an open hand.

Posted by: Sean Connery at November 14, 2018 06:57 PM (H5knJ)

---
And only if she won't let it go. If you tell her, firmly, to let it go, and she doesn't, she's asking for a slap.

Posted by: K.N. McBride at November 14, 2018 06:59 PM (cfSRQ)

348 311 I never understood guys who would hit women.

Wrestling with them, sure, but never hitting.
Posted by: K.N. McBride at November 14, 2018 06:51 PM (cfSRQ)

Meh ... Men hitting Women ... Women hitting Men ...

... I stay out of all of it. Got a sister that loves to get shit-faced and throw a slap at her ol' man. He tolerates it. If he ever gets tired of it - I'll pull him off before he kills her ... but she's got a lick or three coming.

Posted by: The Midnight Rider at November 14, 2018 06:59 PM (VarTq)

349 : Keith "to the moon" Ellison

there sure are a lot of amateur space exploration enthusiasts in the D base. if NASA or Musk could dress up a rocket like some unhappy woman in an apron we'll have our lunar base up on a week

Posted by: Boulder terlit hobo at November 14, 2018 06:59 PM (62ucv)

350 Creepy porn lawyer lawyer is the worst kind of lawyer.

Posted by: USNtakim profoundly deplorable. at November 14, 2018 06:59 PM (0OmEj)

351 That video!

OHAI, AoS!

Posted by: josephistan at November 14, 2018 06:59 PM (Izzlo)

352
To be fair, it sounds plausible that she may have started it. He just
decided to finish it. She was SHOCKED that he actually laid a hand on
her after she hit him.

I'm not condoning his behavior, but we can all imagine what kind of
high maintenance ornament Avenatti must have had, and we all probably
assume that at some point, he just got tired of taking her shit.

Again, not condoning what he did, but it is possible that what he said was true - that she started it.

Posted by: Teresa in Fort Worth, Texas at November 14, 2018 06:34 PM (uDcBt)

Maybe... I won't be shedding any tears over his wrongful pillorying if that is the case. He certainly was fine with lying about the behavior of other innocent men.

Posted by: redbanzai the Southerner at November 14, 2018 06:59 PM (F/KeJ)

353 "16 Well...there goes that presidential bid."

Nonsense, front runner material.

Posted by: A Damp Oldsmobile at November 14, 2018 06:59 PM (Ry8mf)

354 Wait, is that Michael "Slappy" Avenatti, or "Slaphead?" Slappy Slaphead?

Anyway, I'm not religious, but sometimes the overwhelming irony of events really makes me wonder... it's like a higher power is trying to cut through the static and tell us something.

I expect he'll claim that none of this changes anything, and his phony baloney legal actions will continue until judges get around to throwing them out of court.

He could have been a good Sopranos character. One that ends up in a landfill.

Posted by: Semi-Literate Thug at November 14, 2018 07:00 PM (uxE61)

355 Q: What do you tell Avenatti's wife when she has two black eyes?

A: Nothing. She's already been told twice.

Posted by: Concerned People's Front, Boofing Chapter at November 14, 2018 07:00 PM (hSQF+)

356 God Bless Tucker Carlson for tagging him with the "Creepy Porn Lawyer" during their interview.

Posted by: Calm Mentor at November 14, 2018 07:00 PM (ffYR/)

357 335 317
Wrestling with them, sure, but never hitting.

Posted by: K.N. McBride at N

you just tickle them until they pee.

Posted by: yankeefifth at November 14, 2018 06:52 PM (MTjB1)

---
I THOUGHT YOU WERE KIDDING!
Posted by: K.N. McBride at November 14, 2018 06:57 PM (cfS

Tickle I think means inserting finger to contact prostate...

Posted by: J.J. Sefton at November 14, 2018 07:00 PM (/9p9e)

358 342
People here may be criticizing Creepy Porn Lawyer, but this didn't stop Keith "X" Ellison elected as Minnesota AG.

The AG is the "top cop" of the entire state.

Think about that for a while, specifically the mindset of those that voted for him.
Posted by: LeftCoast Dawg at November 14, 2018 06:58 PM (UsCnO)

---That was a feature, not a bug. It allowed people who voted for him to feel all warm and good about how tolerant they are.

Minnesota. An entire state of beer-drinking cucks.

Posted by: K.N. McBride at November 14, 2018 07:00 PM (cfSRQ)

359 "She hit me first!"
...........

Too bad it wasn't with an iron skillet.

Posted by: wth at November 14, 2018 07:01 PM (HgMAr)

360 People here may be criticizing Creepy Porn Lawyer, but this didn't stop Keith "X" Ellison elected as Minnesota AG.

The AG is the "top cop" of the entire state.

Think about that for a while, specifically the mindset of those that voted for him.

Posted by: LeftCoast Dawg at November 14, 2018 06:58 PM (UsCnO)

---

Hold my beer.

Posted by: Maxine Waters, Finants Comidey Cher at November 14, 2018 07:01 PM (LX21o)

361 #MeToo #BelieveAllWomen #Presidential #WhinyBoy #DidIJustF*ckUp

Posted by: harleycowboy at November 14, 2018 07:01 PM (+9AX9)

362 Candace Owens @RealCandaceO
35m
Replying to @ARmastrangelo
Edit: @MichaelAvenatti just became qualified to become the attorney general of Minnesota.

Posted by: MSM is the Deep States Mentally Ill Girlffriend at November 14, 2018 07:01 PM (BqBId)

363 True fact: Often stunningly beautiful women have absolutely terrible self-esteem. For those Morons still in the market, a show of reckless confidence towards such damsels can often pay handsome rewards since cads are often the only guys who are willing to take a chance on them.
Posted by: K.N. McBride
----------

This is about me, isn't it?

Posted by: Mike Hammer, etc., etc. at November 14, 2018 07:01 PM (CDGwz)

364 Nonsense, front runner material.

I'm A Survivor!

Posted by: Avenatti 2020 at November 14, 2018 07:01 PM (g0Lfb)

365 Anyway, I'm not religious, but sometimes the overwhelming irony of events really makes me wonder... it's like a higher power is trying to cut through the static and tell us something.
Posted by: Semi-Literate Thug at November 14, 2018 07:00 PM (uxE61)

JackStraw had it at #141. Nobody knows how, just that it happens.

Posted by: hogmartin at November 14, 2018 07:02 PM (t+qrx)

366 MAGA - Michael Avenatti's Getting Arrested.

Turnabout's fair play if Avenatti's supporters used MAGA for "My Attorney's Getting Arrested" after Michael Cohen.

Posted by: Thrawn at November 14, 2018 07:02 PM (Ta69/)

367 355 Q: What do you tell Avenatti's wife when she has two black eyes?

A: Nothing. She's already been told twice.
Posted by: Concerned People's Front, Boofing Chapter at November 14, 2018 07:00 PM (hSQF+)

Horrible.

What's black and white and black and white black and white and black and white black and white and black and white and blue?

Avenatti's wife dressed as a nun being hurled down the stairs.

Posted by: J.J. Sefton at November 14, 2018 07:02 PM (/9p9e)

368 The early caliphates may have rode roughshod over most of civilization, a whoopin' and a whompin'.

But they reserved their greatest hatred and depravity for each other. The only reason the entire known world didn't fall to the green flag was that they were too busy hacking away at each other.

To this day, i'm fairly certain (can't remember links but fairly sure it's easily available info) that ISIS has killed far more Muslims than from any other religion. The only thing worse than a keffir is an apostate. The keffir can be cajoled, tricked, subjugated, converted even. You can take your time bringing infidels into the Ummah, no rush. And an "apostate" is basically any Muslim who doesn't join their cause.

This is not some kind of perverse apologia, but a universal damnation of their insane murder/suicide cult masquerading as a religion.

Posted by: Warai-otoko at November 14, 2018 07:02 PM (BRvh1)

369 Shockingly, a search for "Avenatti" on cnn.com turns up zero articles about the arrest. Shockingly.

Posted by: Xander Crews at November 14, 2018 07:02 PM (miXS6)

370 Tickle I think means inserting finger to contact prostate...

Posted by: J.J. Sefton at November 14, 2018 07:00 PM (/9p9e)

---
Huh. Not real up on that sort of thing.

I do know that you can tickle a girl into peeing on herself.

Some people are into that, I guess.

Me? Not so much. Having to perform an emergency bedding change really kills the mood.

Posted by: K.N. McBride at November 14, 2018 07:02 PM (cfSRQ)

371 Tickle I think means inserting finger to contact prostate...
Posted by: J.J. Sefton at November 14, 2018 07:00 PM (/9p9e)
------------------

Wrong gender, there, JJ.

Actually, just plain wrong.

Posted by: Blake - used bridge salesman at November 14, 2018 07:02 PM (qC1Sy)

372 Nonsense, front runner material.

I'm A Survivor!

Posted by: Avenatti 2020 at November 14, 2018 07:01 PM (g0Lfb)

CREDIBLE VICTIM

Posted by: wth at November 14, 2018 07:02 PM (HgMAr)

373 True fact: Often stunningly beautiful women have absolutely terrible self-esteem. For those Morons still in the market, a show of reckless confidence towards such damsels can often pay handsome rewards since cads are often the only guys who are willing to take a chance on them.
Posted by: K.N. McBride
----------

This is about me, isn't it?
~~Posted by: Mike Hammer, etc., etc.~~

Oooooops.

Posted by: Sandra Bullock at November 14, 2018 07:02 PM (xSo9G)

374 I'm A Survivor!

The neck brace is very becoming.

Posted by: A Damp Oldsmobile at November 14, 2018 07:02 PM (Ry8mf)

375 ... I stay out of all of it. Got a sister that loves to get shit-faced and throw a slap at her ol' man. He tolerates it. If he ever gets tired of it - I'll pull him off before he kills her ... but she's got a lick or three coming.
Posted by: The Midnight Rider at November 14, 2018 06:59 PM (VarTq)

Women are just as likely to abuse as men, and they can often get nasty, such as using objects.

Plus, I suspect that there is a small population of these abused women who want to be hit, because they want the drama.

Posted by: Colorado Alex In Exile at November 14, 2018 07:03 PM (SgjGX)

376
Creepy Porn Lawyer lawyer is sort of like Assistant Crack Whore.

Posted by: J.J. Sefton at November 14, 2018 07:03 PM (/9p9e)

377

That reminds me...

it's been ages since "Hope Solo" appeared in teh 'ments.

Posted by: Soothsayer SLX Pro Series II Platinum Turbo, Digitally Remastered at November 14, 2018 07:03 PM (LLkDq)

378 355 Q: What do you tell Avenatti's wife when she has two black eyes?

... "I know a good lawyer!"

Posted by: Warai-otoko at November 14, 2018 07:03 PM (BRvh1)

379 So you're saying that there are actually a bunch of women out there that would let this douchebag grab them by the pussy just because of his "status?"

Who could have predicted that.
Posted by: Buzzion at November 14, 2018 06:42 PM (WaxcS)

This shouldn't surprise anyone who's been paying attention.

Posted by: Insomniac at November 14, 2018 07:03 PM (NWiLs)

380 Me? Not so much. Having to perform an emergency bedding change really kills the mood.
Posted by: K.N. McBride at November 14, 2018 07:02 PM (cfSRQ)

That's why you only do it in a Russian hotel.

Posted by: Colorado Alex In Exile at November 14, 2018 07:03 PM (SgjGX)

381
#METOO

Posted by: CPL at November 14, 2018 07:03 PM (xSo9G)

382 371 Tickle I think means inserting finger to contact prostate...
Posted by: J.J. Sefton at November 14, 2018 07:00 PM (/9p9e)
------------------

Wrong gender, there, JJ.

Actually, just plain wrong.
Posted by: Blake - used bridge salesman at November 14, 2018 07:02 PM (qC1Sy)

Unless it identifies as urethra (franklin).

Posted by: J.J. Sefton at November 14, 2018 07:04 PM (/9p9e)

383 Well, either his financial problems sent him over the edge, he's always been an abuser or someone wants Avennati out of the picture-because he's an embarrassment to the Democrats.

Posted by: FenelonSpoke at November 14, 2018 07:04 PM (AllCR)

384 He must be believed!

Posted by: Mike Hammer, etc., etc. at November 14, 2018 07:04 PM (xSo9G)

385 It's going to take a BIg box of 'lost' ballots to push Avenatti into the winners column in the 2020 POTUS election.

Posted by: The people across the aisle want us silenced at best,dead at worst at November 14, 2018 07:04 PM (FUJZT)

386 "Maybe... I won't be shedding any tears over his
wrongful pillorying if that is the case. He certainly was fine with
lying about the behavior of other innocent men.

Posted by: redbanzai"
Doesn't matter to me who stared it or what the truth is. We must believe all women survivors. Always. He must go to prison for felony assault.

The new rules need to really suck for those making them.

Posted by: Ripley at November 14, 2018 07:04 PM (NbRJx)

387 "But the [muslim sectarians] reserved their greatest hatred and depravity for each other. "

some moron even wrote a couple books about that. :^)

Posted by: Boulder terlit hobo at November 14, 2018 07:04 PM (62ucv)

388 Ace, it is not Michael. it's Michelle. I identify as a woman.
- Michelle Avenatti.

Posted by: Darth Randall at November 14, 2018 07:04 PM (p0nVR)

389 380 Me? Not so much. Having to perform an emergency bedding change really kills the mood.
Posted by: K.N. McBride at November 14, 2018 07:02 PM (cfSRQ)

That's why you only do it in a Russian hotel.
Posted by: Colorado Alex In Exile at November 14, 2018 07:03 PM (SgjGX)

Did I mention my date long ago with Annie Sprinkle?

Posted by: J.J. Sefton at November 14, 2018 07:04 PM (/9p9e)

390 Avenatti identifies as a committed lesbian.

Posted by: Moron Robbie - Thoughts and prayers for RBG 🐘 at November 14, 2018 07:05 PM (LX21o)

391 Read on twitter it wasn't his wife, we'll see.

Posted by: Dr Spank at November 14, 2018 07:05 PM (4e+hS)

392 ugh

Posted by: willow at November 14, 2018 07:05 PM (aSpXp)

393 ... "I know a good lawyer!"
Posted by: Warai-otoko

Are you one of those Beach Friends?"

Posted by: Concerned People's Front, Boofing Chapter at November 14, 2018 07:05 PM (hSQF+)

394
Minnesota. An entire state of beer-drinking cucks.
Posted by: K.N. McBride at November 14, 2018 07:00 PM (cfSRQ)

With all the Somalis & other muslims in MN, you wonder about how long that beer-drinking will be allowed

Posted by: josephistan at November 14, 2018 07:05 PM (Izzlo)

395 I believe the correct term is a slick of Creepy Porn Lawyers.

Posted by: bluebell at November 14, 2018 07:05 PM (U5tDi)

396

#MeTooThreeFourFiveSixSevenEightNineTenYou'reOut!

/Rocky theme

Posted by: Soothsayer SLX Pro Series II Platinum Turbo, Digitally Remastered at November 14, 2018 07:05 PM (LLkDq)

397 That reminds me...

it's been ages since "Hope Solo" appeared in teh 'ments.
Posted by: Soothsayer SLX Pro Series II Platinum Turbo, Digitally Remastered

She's been up her own ass lately.
Not a figure of speech either.

Posted by: Prince Ludwig the Deplorable at November 14, 2018 07:05 PM (5RXy6)

398 >>>>Minnesota. An entire state of beer-drinking cucks.

FALSE.

CUCKS DRINK WINE.

Posted by: Max Power at November 14, 2018 07:05 PM (q177U)

399 Did I mention my date long ago with Annie Sprinkle?
Posted by: J.J. Sefton at November 14, 2018 07:04 PM (/9p9e)

STORY TIME!!!

*sits cross-legged on the floor*

Posted by: Colorado Alex In Exile at November 14, 2018 07:06 PM (SgjGX)

400 Creepy Porn Lawyer's lawyer better ask for a cash retainer.

Posted by: wth at November 14, 2018 07:06 PM (HgMAr)

401
This makes perfect sense. I didn't really think "wife beater" when I see him, but now it makes perfect sense and I can see it.

It goes right along with his personality type.

Posted by: publius, Rascally Rapscallion of a Poperin Pear at November 14, 2018 07:06 PM (f1Vqw)

402 Did I mention my date long ago with Annie Sprinkle?

Annie Sprinkle? How old are you?

Posted by: Concerned People's Front, Boofing Chapter at November 14, 2018 07:06 PM (hSQF+)

403 Did I mention my date long ago with Annie Sprinkle?

Posted by: J.J. Sefton at November 14, 2018 07:04 PM (/9p9e)

---
Well, we already know you're into butt stuff, so watersports isn't that much of a stretch...

Posted by: K.N. McBride at November 14, 2018 07:06 PM (cfSRQ)

404
That reminds me...
it's been ages since "Hope Solo" appeared in teh 'ments.

Posted by: Soothsayer SLX Pro Series II Platinum Turbo, Digitally Remastered at November 14, 2018 07:03

Only if by ages you mean yesterday.

Posted by: Flawless Male Logic at November 14, 2018 07:07 PM (TAmPV)

405 Well, either his financial problems sent him over the edge, he's always been an abuser or someone wants Avennati out of the picture-because he's an embarrassment to the Democrats.
Posted by: FenelonSpoke at November 14, 2018 07:04 PM (AllCR)

It's cliché to say so, but really, "and". He's a financial wreck and it's his fault, he's clearly a terrible person, and he's not useful any more to the only people who kept him around.

Posted by: hogmartin at November 14, 2018 07:07 PM (t+qrx)

406 Wife says it wasn't her he beat : https://is.gd/112ZQT

Posted by: Dr Spank at November 14, 2018 07:07 PM (4e+hS)

407 347 339
A gentleman only strikes his lady fair with an open hand.

Posted by: Sean Connery at November 14, 2018 06:57 PM (H5knJ)

---
And only if she won't let it go. If you tell her, firmly, to let it go, and she doesn't, she's asking for a slap.
Posted by: K.N. McBride at November 14, 2018 06:59 PM (cfSRQ)

Here's the thing. Most guys know there's a line you don't cross or you're going to be spitting teeth. Women have no such limitation due to the "never hit a woman" indoctrination.

Posted by: Insomniac at November 14, 2018 07:07 PM (NWiLs)

408 Well, if its been alleged that he hit a woman, then it's pretty likely that he's the Green River Killer.

Posted by: Logic After Kavanagh at November 14, 2018 07:07 PM (H5knJ)

409 Century City area of L.A.

Sounds like one of those places where the 'winner' in domestic violence gets charged whether or not the victim wants to press charges.

Posted by: Burnt Toast at November 14, 2018 07:07 PM (1g7ch)

410 >> it's been ages since "Hope Solo" appeared in teh
>> 'ments.

:wink:

Posted by: Hope Solo at November 14, 2018 07:07 PM (f1Vqw)

411 spank so a new chick he was shacking up with?
stormy maybe?

Posted by: willow at November 14, 2018 07:08 PM (aSpXp)

412

It's also been a while since a panda gave birth in China, making big world news...again.

Posted by: Soothsayer SLX Pro Series II Platinum Turbo, Digitally Remastered at November 14, 2018 07:08 PM (LLkDq)

413 hell maybe swetnik

Posted by: willow at November 14, 2018 07:08 PM (aSpXp)

414 402 Did I mention my date long ago with Annie Sprinkle?

Annie Sprinkle? How old are you?
Posted by: Concerned People's Front, Boofing Chapter at November 14, 2018 07:06 PM (hSQF+)

58. I was 23 at the time. And sad to say it was perfectly chaste. Actually I was rather relieved considering the number of guys who had, er, been there and done that especially in the early days of AIDS.

Posted by: J.J. Sefton at November 14, 2018 07:08 PM (/9p9e)

415 Did I mention my date long ago with Annie Sprinkle?

Posted by: J.J. Sefton at November 14, 2018 07:04 PM (/9p9e)

You want Hypatia Lee

You'd settle for Cara Lott

You got Annie Sprinkle

Posted by: josephistan at November 14, 2018 07:08 PM (Izzlo)

416
Daily Mail has pictures of the woman:

https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-6391099

Posted by: publius, Rascally Rapscallion of a Poperin Pear at November 14, 2018 07:08 PM (f1Vqw)

417 BREAKING NEWS : Michael Avenatti now beating strangers, I repeat strangers.

Posted by: Dr Spank at November 14, 2018 07:08 PM (4e+hS)

418 I will laugh my little white ass off if Maxine Waters does so laughably poorly as a committee chair that the committee more or less unanimously decides to remove her.

I don't mean just being obnoxious and rude and loud, and railroading through everything the Dems want. That's to be expected from any democrat.

I mean not adhering to any sort of rules or protocol. Screwing things up procedurally so bad that the Dems DON'T ever get what they want, just because she's so damnably stupid and arrogant.

Ahhh.... it'll be fun.

Posted by: Warai-otoko at November 14, 2018 07:08 PM (BRvh1)

419 Hell very well could be Swetnik.

Posted by: Moron Robbie - Thoughts and prayers for RBG 🐘 at November 14, 2018 07:08 PM (LX21o)

420 Posted by: LeftCoast Dawg at November 14, 2018 06:58 PM (UsCnO)

Mogadishu comes to Minnesota!

Posted by: Comrade Hrothgar at November 14, 2018 07:09 PM (n9EOP)

421 Well, if its been alleged that he hit a woman, then it's pretty likely that he's the Green River Killer.
Posted by: Logic After Kavanagh

Creepy Porn Lawyer and Credibly Accused Serial Killer Michael Avenatti.

Posted by: Prince Ludwig the Deplorable at November 14, 2018 07:09 PM (5RXy6)

422 sorry Jane hones, had that type of marriage also, glad I got the courage to leave.

Posted by: willow at November 14, 2018 07:09 PM (aSpXp)

423 409 Century City area of L.A.

Sounds like one of those places where the 'winner' in domestic violence gets charged whether or not the victim wants to press charges.
Posted by: Burnt Toast at November 14, 2018 07:07 PM (1g7ch)

Home of Nakatomi Plaza from "Die Hard." Ronald Reagan had an office there after his presidency. Buddy of mine shared an elevator ride and got an autograph.

Posted by: J.J. Sefton at November 14, 2018 07:09 PM (/9p9e)

424 Wrestling with them, sure, but never hitting.

Posted by: K.N. McBride

and spank and spank and SPANK!

Posted by: nurse ratched at November 14, 2018 07:09 PM (d7Ww2)

425 Here's the thing. Most guys know there's a line you
don't cross or you're going to be spitting teeth. Women have no such
limitation due to the "never hit a woman" indoctrination.

Posted by: Insomniac at November 14, 2018 07:07 PM (NWiLs)

---
I was quoting Connery there, but yeah, women are allowed to hit because they're physically less likely to do harm than when a male strikes back at full force.

It's also true that women are more violent towards men than vice-versa, but we don't talk about that because feminism.

Posted by: K.N. McBride at November 14, 2018 07:09 PM (cfSRQ)

426 I will laugh my little white ass off if Maxine Waters does so laughably poorly as a committee chair that the committee more or less unanimously decides to remove her.

---

I'm not joking when I say this:

Could you see her competently running the cash register at the local Dollar Tree?

Posted by: Moron Robbie - Thoughts and prayers for RBG 🐘 at November 14, 2018 07:10 PM (LX21o)

427 So it was some other whore?

Posted by: wth at November 14, 2018 07:10 PM (HgMAr)

428 http://bit.ly/2OKXlHZ
-----
A Casey Kasem Long Distance Dedication http://bit.ly/2OKXlHZ

Posted by: MSM is the Deep States Mentally Ill Girlffriend at November 14, 2018 07:10 PM (BqBId)

429 424
Wrestling with them, sure, but never hitting.

Posted by: K.N. McBride

and spank and spank and SPANK!

Posted by: nurse ratched at November 14, 2018 07:09 PM (d7Ww2)

---
I think we can all agree that spanking is an entirely different category.

Posted by: K.N. McBride at November 14, 2018 07:10 PM (cfSRQ)

430 Shit, I guess that presidential run is fucked, now. Maybe he could run for congress in Arizona. They love that shit out there.
Vote
Slappy

Posted by: chavez the hugo at November 14, 2018 07:11 PM (KP5rU)

431 I believe the correct term is a slick of Creepy Porn Lawyers.
Posted by: bluebell
-------------

A 'Nest'. Possibly a 'Brood'. But then, those terms apply to any assemblage of Left/Lib/Dem/Progs.

Posted by: Mike Hammer, etc., etc. at November 14, 2018 07:11 PM (xSo9G)

432 415 Posted by: josephistan at November 14, 2018 07:08 PM (Izzlo)

Actually you are not far off from the truth! I was set up with her by Veronica Hart who downgraded me from some Playboy centerfold she originally fixed me up with.

Posted by: J.J. Sefton at November 14, 2018 07:11 PM (/9p9e)

433 In a flow chart depicting HQ threads, they all, regardless of topic, end in [butt stuff/water sports].

Posted by: All Hail Eris, Literate Savage at November 14, 2018 07:11 PM (kQs4Y)

434 >>You got Annie Sprinkle

Not to mention Little Anal Annie.

Posted by: publius, Rascally Rapscallion of a Poperin Pear at November 14, 2018 07:11 PM (f1Vqw)

435

Wildfires and AIDS are like the same to me.

Both are nearly 99% PREVENTABLE.

Posted by: Soothsayer SLX Pro Series II Platinum Turbo, Digitally Remastered at November 14, 2018 07:11 PM (LLkDq)

436 at least arent discussing boli again

Posted by: Boulder terlit hobo at November 14, 2018 07:12 PM (62ucv)

437 276 Can women have newsletters?

next you'll want the vote

Posted by: Anachronda at November 14, 2018 07:12 PM (xGZ+b)

438 ofgs what b.s

Posted by: willow at November 14, 2018 07:12 PM (aSpXp)

439 I'm not joking when I say this:

Could you see her competently running the cash register at the local Dollar Tree?
Posted by: Moron Robbie
---------------

Could she possibly do worse than Nanzi running the entire House?

Posted by: Mike Hammer, etc., etc. at November 14, 2018 07:12 PM (xSo9G)

440 and spank and spank and SPANK!

Posted by: nurse ratched at N

more or less the responsibility of any good husband who wants a happy wife.

Posted by: yankeefifth at November 14, 2018 07:12 PM (MTjB1)

441 I was quoting Connery there, but yeah, women are allowed to hit because they're physically less likely to do harm than when a male strikes back at full force.

It's also true that women are more violent towards men than vice-versa, but we don't talk about that because feminism.
Posted by: K.N. McBride at November 14, 2018 07:09 PM (cfSRQ)

I recognized the Connery quote, but you are right of course. And it's not just the physical line, it's the verbal line.

Posted by: Insomniac at November 14, 2018 07:12 PM (NWiLs)

442 I haven't been to NRO in so long...even before they were cucks...they were cucks. NO fight in these SOBs.

Posted by: Winston at November 14, 2018 07:13 PM (mgpkf)

443 424 Wrestling with them, sure, but never hitting.

Posted by: K.N. McBride

and spank and spank and SPANK!
Posted by: nurse ratched at November 14, 2018 07:09 PM (d7Ww2)

Avenatti took the British expression "slap and tickle" literally.

Posted by: J.J. Sefton at November 14, 2018 07:13 PM (/9p9e)

444 Just leave this thread up all night.

To match the 65 million schadenboners that even now threaten the stability of the earth's orbit.

Posted by: Sharkman at November 14, 2018 07:13 PM (bsdd3)

445 Wildfires and AIDS are like the same to me.
Posted by: Soothsayer SLX Pro Series II Platinum Turbo, Digitally Remastered at November 14, 2018 07:11 PM (LLkDq)

wo⅃vEs?!?!

Posted by: nAnCy pElOsI at November 14, 2018 07:13 PM (t+qrx)

446 publius that one is his x I believe

Posted by: willow at November 14, 2018 07:13 PM (aSpXp)

447 From now on, I choose to live my life as a gay American.

Posted by: Michael Avenatti at November 14, 2018 07:13 PM (gC2IV)

448 432 415 Posted by: josephistan at November 14, 2018 07:08 PM (Izzlo)

Actually you are not far off from the truth! I was set up with her by Veronica Hart who downgraded me from some Playboy centerfold she originally fixed me up with.

Posted by: J.J. Sefton at November 14, 2018 07:11 PM (/9p9e)

You have had a colorful life indeed.

Posted by: Insomniac at November 14, 2018 07:13 PM (NWiLs)

449 Can women have newsletters? Because I want to subscribe to your newsletter.
Posted by: zombie at N

well they can but what is the point of mailing out blank pieces of paper?

Posted by: yankeefifth at November 14, 2018 07:14 PM (MTjB1)

450 rolls eyes.

Posted by: willow at November 14, 2018 07:14 PM (aSpXp)

451 448
You have had a colorful life indeed.
Posted by: Insomniac at November 14, 2018 07:13 PM (NWiLs)

Color is overrated. I'd rather have money.

Posted by: J.J. Sefton at November 14, 2018 07:14 PM (/9p9e)

452 406 Wife says it wasn't her he beat : https://is.gd/112ZQT
Posted by: Dr Spank at November 14, 2018 07:07 PM (4e+hS)

Oh my flippin' feck. how perfectly greasy.

- "Hey, that guy beats his wife!"

- "Back off, bub, that's not my wife!"

Posted by: Warai-otoko at November 14, 2018 07:14 PM (BRvh1)

453 yeah, avanatti is less slap and tickle and more punch and choke out.

Posted by: yankeefifth at November 14, 2018 07:15 PM (MTjB1)

454 I was quoting Connery there, but yeah, women are allowed to hit because they're physically less likely to do harm than when a male strikes back at full force.

---

It's funny to realize how much stronger adult males are. I had a physical recently and the 30ish cross-fit triathlete gorgeous doctor helping my regular doctor was doing some resistance tests to my arms and legs. She sort of playfully pushed back at one point and we had a friendly semi-competition, and I was fairly easily moving her arms outwards while I was seated and she was standing.

She was kind of serious after a moment, too. Not being angry or anything, but not smiling as much after the first couple of seconds.

Posted by: Moron Robbie - Thoughts and prayers for RBG 🐘 at November 14, 2018 07:15 PM (LX21o)

455 night all, be nice to eachother.

Posted by: willow at November 14, 2018 07:15 PM (aSpXp)

456 'night, willow.

Posted by: hogmartin at November 14, 2018 07:15 PM (t+qrx)

457 The wife looks hot in the Daily Mail article. Hot /
cra-cra mix, in all probability.

Posted by: NaCly Dog at November 14, 2018 07:16 PM (hyuyC)

458 276 Can women have newsletters?

next you'll want the vote

Posted by: Anachronda at November 14, 2018 07:12 PM (xGZ+b)

Worse yet, they'll want to own property!

Posted by: Comrade Hrothgar at November 14, 2018 07:16 PM (n9EOP)

459 FWIW, I'm an overweight middle aged guy who will be getting senior discounts at Denny's in a few years.

Posted by: Moron Robbie - Thoughts and prayers for RBG 🐘 at November 14, 2018 07:16 PM (LX21o)

460
The DM says it's Lisa Storie and calls her CPL's "estranged wife".

According to her, CPL has been saying they are divorced, but will not actually go through with it, or something. How that works, I don't know, but sleezebag lawyers can pull all sorts of technical legal shit.

Posted by: publius, Rascally Rapscallion of a Poperin Pear at November 14, 2018 07:16 PM (f1Vqw)

461 Could you see her competently running the cash register at the local Dollar Tree?
Posted by: Moron Robbie - Thoughts and prayers for RBG at November 14, 2018 07:10 PM (LX21o)

i could see her competently running AWAY with the cash register at the local Dollar Tree....

Posted by: Warai-otoko at November 14, 2018 07:17 PM (BRvh1)

462 Worse yet, they'll want to own property!
Posted by: Comrade Hrothgar at N

so long as it shuts them up about being property.

Posted by: yankeefifth at November 14, 2018 07:17 PM (MTjB1)

463 Posted by: NaCly Dog at November 14, 2018 07:16 PM (hyuyC)

Looked like a bona fide hot AND cray-cray "lady" to me!

Posted by: Comrade Hrothgar at November 14, 2018 07:17 PM (n9EOP)

464 Did I mention my date long ago with Annie Sprinkle?
Posted by: J.J. Sefton at November 14, 2018 07:04 PM (/9p9e)

You have. Little Secret ? I've been here a while.

I'd pay the tab to sit and listen to a few stories of your younger days chasing. You met some interesting folks.

Posted by: The Midnight Rider at November 14, 2018 07:17 PM (VarTq)

465 Nood college girls

Posted by: Moron Robbie - Thoughts and prayers for RBG 🐘 at November 14, 2018 07:17 PM (LX21o)

466 451 448
You have had a colorful life indeed.
Posted by: Insomniac at November 14, 2018 07:13 PM (NWiLs)

Color is overrated. I'd rather have money.
Posted by: J.J. Sefton at November 14, 2018 07:14 PM (/9p9e)

Me too, but at this point I would take either.

Posted by: Insomniac at November 14, 2018 07:18 PM (NWiLs)

467 58. I was 23 at the time. And sad to say it was perfectly chaste. Actually I was rather relieved considering the number of guys who had, er, been there and done that especially in the early days of AIDS.

In 1984, I worked in Boyle Heights, at a office supply distribution company. I sold to Century City Stationers. The Eighties was a pretty wild time to be in LA. I'm lucky I made it out alive, and with a functioning liver.

Posted by: Concerned People's Front, Boofing Chapter at November 14, 2018 07:18 PM (hSQF+)

468 Worse yet, they'll want to own property!
Posted by: Comrade Hrothgar

so long as it shuts them up about being property.
Posted by: yankeefifth at November 14, 2018 07:17 PM (MTjB1)

Yes, that would work!

Posted by: Comrade Hrothgar at November 14, 2018 07:19 PM (n9EOP)

469 459 FWIW, I'm an overweight middle aged guy who will be getting senior discounts at Denny's in a few years.

there are a couple of places around town that spontaneously give me the senior's discount for no reason whatsoever.

*sigh*

it's worse than that first time i got junk mail from aarp.

Posted by: Anachronda at November 14, 2018 07:19 PM (xGZ+b)

470 Trump needs to tweet the holy fucking shit out of this. For weeks.

Posted by: Sharkman at November 14, 2018 07:19 PM (bsdd3)

471 it's worse than that first time i got junk mail from aarp.
Posted by: Anachronda at November 14, 2018 07:19 PM (xGZ+b)

Well, i got junk mail from AARP when I was 5 years old.

No idea how that one happened, but hey, whatevs.

Posted by: Warai-otoko at November 14, 2018 07:20 PM (BRvh1)

472 "She hit me first."

Was that Andrew Jackson? John Wayne? Chesty Puller?

Posted by: Great Reagan's Deplorable Ghost at November 14, 2018 07:21 PM (AJ/mV)

473 worse than that first time i got junk mail from aarp.
Posted by: Anachronda at N

lol, even worse than your first issue of senior hustler?

Posted by: yankeefifth at November 14, 2018 07:21 PM (MTjB1)

474 lol, even worse than your first issue of senior hustler?

Posted by: yankeefifth at November 14, 2018 07:21 PM (MTjB1)

If you've never seen the "Get Off My Lawn" centerfold special edition...

Posted by: L Flynt at November 14, 2018 07:25 PM (n9EOP)

475 Think, "rule of thumb" in that the rod of correction should be no larger in diameter than the thumb.

I have yet to run across any actual law that says that, though.

I think that the real origin of the phrase is the use of the thumb as a impromptu way of measuring out an inch or something similar, and that the wife-beating story is a folk etymology from the 18th century.

Posted by: Grey Fox at November 14, 2018 07:34 PM (bZ7mE)

476 the wife-beating story is a folk etymology from the 18th century.

I have a vague recollection of Mark Steyn clarifying that the wife-beating "meaning" of rule-of-thumb was made up out of whole cloth by some demented feminist harridan.

Posted by: measure this at November 14, 2018 07:39 PM (jr1mC)

477 She hit me first.

Posted by: Ike Turner at November 14, 2018 07:46 PM (Z9C5C)

478 I don't see why this should disqualify him as a democrat for prez. Like Clenis would say, "better put some ice on that lip, Juanita".

Posted by: docweasel at November 14, 2018 07:52 PM (UmdVS)

479 "The debut of the Austin Powers "She's a mannnn, baby!" defense."

You joke but i see this novel legal defense taking hold soon.

" i identified her as a man. " it's all just a false construct of society isn't it?

Speaking of which how can there be a patriarchy when there's no such thing as man or woman

Posted by: MST3K at November 14, 2018 07:55 PM (bpz9a)

480 Building his Democrat street cred.

Posted by: Adirondack Patriot at November 14, 2018 07:55 PM (RU/ML)

481 Where is the "I Believe Her" crowd?

Posted by: Adirondack Patriot at November 14, 2018 07:58 PM (RU/ML)

482 That is such a resume enhancer that the dum 2020 primary is over.

Posted by: Beto at November 14, 2018 09:34 PM (fVGlW)

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