Open Thread

ewok signal.jpg

Posted by: CBD at 01:00 PM




Comments

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1 Ace was the place.

Posted by: Red Red Meat at September 11, 2018 01:03 PM (EVdIi)

2 Heh. Funny meme.

Posted by: your neighbor at September 11, 2018 01:03 PM (UbWxe)

3 Somethingth.

Posted by: irright at September 11, 2018 01:03 PM (pMGkg)

4 So, to be stomped by the 100th comment?

Posted by: IC, now with extra super elite at September 11, 2018 01:04 PM (a0IVu)

5 Calling all curs

Posted by: Bertram Cabot, Jr. at September 11, 2018 01:05 PM (IqV8l)

6 slaps you guys out of room, be quiet the are still grooming and braiding the ewoks fur.

Posted by: willow at September 11, 2018 01:05 PM (dPd5y)

7 The Ewok sign! It means there goes the neighborhood. Filthy, stinkin' Ewoks. The should have stayed on the Moon of Endor where they belong.

Posted by: Anonymous White Male at September 11, 2018 01:05 PM (9BLnV)

8 over/under is 30

Posted by: wrg500 Manatee bounty hunter at September 11, 2018 01:05 PM (Bdeb0)

9 Wet down here

Posted by: DanMan at September 11, 2018 01:06 PM (fGeLW)

10 ...and the clock is running.

Posted by: tu3031 at September 11, 2018 01:06 PM (jDF8P)

11 Ewok this way

Posted by: josephistan at September 11, 2018 01:06 PM (7HtZB)

12 Inb4 stomped.

Posted by: steevy at September 11, 2018 01:06 PM (mCMQ5)

13 The Lamp!

Posted by: garrett at September 11, 2018 01:06 PM (Q5lAo)

14 Placeholder thread. Placeholder comment.

Posted by: rickl at September 11, 2018 01:06 PM (xjiRE)

15 oh and women fart

Posted by: wrg500 Manatee bounty hunter at September 11, 2018 01:06 PM (Bdeb0)

16 As usual, calling Stompin' Tom Connors.

Posted by: Hikaru at September 11, 2018 01:06 PM (UnA8+)

17 he's going to break away from their touching and gentle ministrations now any moment now, really.

Posted by: willow at September 11, 2018 01:06 PM (dPd5y)

18 do I smell pancakes?

Posted by: willow at September 11, 2018 01:07 PM (dPd5y)

19 Monsanto could make Round-Up ready poppies, then we design poppy picking
robots ... corner the market ... drive the Afghans (and CIA) out of the
global drug business. Safer drugs for everyone ... made in America, and
they could pay taxes instead of feeding the black market cabals.
/s (partial sarc)

Posted by: illiniwek at September 11, 2018 01:07 PM (Cus5s)

20 How 'bout that Joe Shitborough?

Posted by: Central Scrutinizer at September 11, 2018 01:07 PM (vI+F1)

21 Nearly 40 million Social Security numbers have been stolen and used by illegal immigrants and others to get work, according to agency records obtained by an immigration reform group.

Fuck you!
Obama
Bush
Clinton
Koch Suk Bros
FOAD!

Posted by: rhennigantx at September 11, 2018 01:07 PM (JFO2v)

22 call him on the Ewok phone.

Posted by: USMC 8541 at September 11, 2018 01:07 PM (xGZ+b)

23 wrg, kick in shins. and only your women! us others do so privately!

Posted by: willow at September 11, 2018 01:07 PM (dPd5y)

24 Ace is always up at the crack of noon. Right now, he's doing naked yoga.

Posted by: Wyatt Earp at September 11, 2018 01:08 PM (UUheN)

25 18 do I smell pancakes?
Posted by: willow

no ~as I lock the car windows~

Posted by: wrg500 Manatee bounty hunter at September 11, 2018 01:08 PM (Bdeb0)

26
♫I bless the rains snows down in Africa♫

Posted by: Toto at September 11, 2018 01:08 PM (LOgQ4)

27 There's a disturbance in the farce.

Posted by: Martini Farmer at September 11, 2018 01:08 PM (DaDYr)

28 Ha!

Posted by: Wolfus Aurelius at September 11, 2018 01:08 PM (/ZWeB)

29
oh and women fart
Posted by: wrg500 Manatee bounty hunter


Wasn't that an Alice Cooper song?

Posted by: Bertram Cabot, Jr. at September 11, 2018 01:08 PM (IqV8l)

30 >15
The hell you say!

Posted by: wth at September 11, 2018 01:08 PM (HgMAr)

31 Open? No way. That means.....FREE SHIT!!!!!

Posted by: Sponge at September 11, 2018 01:09 PM (F4u7C)

32 Good thing we don't have a signal to summon CBD...


Would be a bit... provocative..

Posted by: Don Q at September 11, 2018 01:09 PM (NgKpN)

33 willowed:

Miss America pageant viewership plummets 36%.

Interesting number. Not 50% which would indicate males stopped watching because no hint of boob or camel toe. I think we've now discovered the percentage of 'woke guys' in the country -- 14%.

Posted by: Forgot My Nic at September 11, 2018 01:09 PM (LOgQ4)

34 Well my daughter is an almost famous person! Local news ran her facebook post yesterday. She said Taylor Swift put on an awesome performance Saturday night, the Chiefs kicked butt yesterday and I'm bring back the mullet! Happy Monday!

lol.. that kid.

Posted by: Jewells45 at September 11, 2018 01:10 PM (kG5hP)

35 did he drown in his bulletproof coffee? Can't swim with all that butter in there

Posted by: Sphynx at September 11, 2018 01:10 PM (rXie1)

36 We really should have hit mecca on 9/12/01. Now maybe 20MT of righteous fusion would have been overkill. But several MOABs on the stupid villages around their stupid fucking rock would have helped them remember why they shouldn't mess with us. FWIW, 20 megatons works for me too, but would open a can of worms.

Posted by: Chris M at September 11, 2018 01:10 PM (eAZVt)

37 >15
The hell you say!
Posted by: wth at September 11, 2018 01:08 PM (HgMAr)


I'm married to a woman. She farts. A lot.

Posted by: Sponge at September 11, 2018 01:10 PM (F4u7C)

38 Ewoks > Jawas

Posted by: Sahib Mikey's Safari Adventure & Clubbing Extravaganza is now stocked and open! at September 11, 2018 01:10 PM (hLRSq)

39 I hope your insane friend is having a flash of
sanity - of all the possible near term futures for the UK, I would rate
that one in the top 10%. PM May has been a disaster, she needs to go.



Posted by: Tom Servo at September 11, 2018 01:03 PM (k1TUh)

Yeah, me too. And, yeah, Boris is the guy.

Posted by: Deplorable Ian Galt at September 11, 2018 01:11 PM (8iiMU)

40 I see you put up a sacrificial thread to be stomped.

Posted by: Picric at September 11, 2018 01:11 PM (nonGu)

41
Three more reps, then you can go post

Posted by: Sphynx at September 11, 2018 01:11 PM (rXie1)

42 so close, but storm tracking has me distracted. top 50 at least...

Posted by: SturmToddler at September 11, 2018 01:12 PM (8D42x)

43 Interesting number. Not 50% which would indicate males stopped watching because no hint of boob or camel toe. I think we've now discovered the percentage of 'woke guys' in the country -- 14%.
Posted by: Forgot My Nic at September 11, 2018 01:09 PM (LOgQ4)


Nah, 14% have lost control of their remote to the Woman in their life...

In other words... case study of who is P Whipped.

Posted by: Don Q at September 11, 2018 01:12 PM (NgKpN)

44 And, Mr. Ed thinks he is a jackass:
https://tinyurl.com/y9ula6yu
(entire Ed the Donkey episode.)



Posted by: Deplorable Ian Galt at September 11, 2018 01:12 PM (8iiMU)

45 When will the enstompening occur?

Posted by: SteveOReno , I proudly self-identify as a Moron at September 11, 2018 01:13 PM (2sCft)

46 I'm so old I remember when sports and weather weren't political issues.

Posted by: josephistan at September 11, 2018 01:13 PM (7HtZB)

47 Thirst!

Posted by: redc1c4 at September 11, 2018 01:13 PM (rjbMC)

48 Hey, some illegal stuffing more money into my SoSec account and me getting more money at retirement is winning!
Right?

Posted by: Short Sighted Idiot at September 11, 2018 01:13 PM (e1mEI)

49 That is too cute.

Posted by: SMH - Future proprietress of Bartertown at September 11, 2018 01:13 PM (z3nSX)

50 Fascinating story out about enrollment numbers at Evergreen U., stating that only 300 freshmen enrolled this fall, half the size of the freshmen class of 2 years ago. They also stated that while Evergreen is currently set up for 4200 students, they only have 2800 currently enrolled.

We can make some assumptions, play with some math, and see that Evergreen is in a WHOLE lot of trouble, more then they let on.

They told us class of 2022 (this years) contains 300 students. Class of 2020 (2 years ago) was twice that size, so that's 600. Give them a break, class of 2021 is going to be between those numbers, say 500, and lets call class of 2019 (set before enrollment started dropping) 800.

Class of 2019 - 800 students
Class of 2020 - 600 students
Class of 2021 - 500 students
Class of 2022 - 300 students

that's a total of 2200, which means there are 600 students that are 5th or 6th year seniors, or some other classification that is outside those numbers.

It's obvious - with an enrollment profile like that, they are now locked into facing massive drops in their student body each year for the next 3 years, which necessarily means budget cuts and faculty layoffs. And it's already too late for them to avoid that outcome.

Posted by: Tom Servo at September 11, 2018 01:13 PM (k1TUh)

51 Sunday night football ratings were down 9% from 2017.
Still not enough

Posted by: TheQuietMan at September 11, 2018 01:13 PM (OLCnA)

52 Posted by: Jewells45 at September 11, 2018 01:10 PM (kG5hP)
-----------------

You're advocating something should return that should never have seen the light of day?

That and the rat tail?

Posted by: Blake - used bridge salesman at September 11, 2018 01:13 PM (qC1Sy)

53 TLDR

Posted by: Vashta Nerada at September 11, 2018 01:13 PM (7ZVPa)

54 Good luck to all in the path of this storm.

I pray that I won't have another Katrina to deal with before I can manage to flee this pesthole for some place where HURRICANES DON'T HAPPEN.

And where the locals pave their streets and allow left turns at major intersections.

Posted by: Wolfus Aurelius at September 11, 2018 01:13 PM (/ZWeB)

55 Hey, some illegal stuffing more money into my SoSec account and me getting more money at retirement is winning!
Right?
Posted by: Short Sighted Idiot at September 11, 2018 01:13 PM (e1mEI)


If they don't claim it first........

Posted by: Sponge at September 11, 2018 01:13 PM (F4u7C)

56 Do.Not.Make.Me.StopThis.Car.

Posted by: willow at September 11, 2018 01:13 PM (dPd5y)

57 Joe Scarborough < Horse Excrement

Posted by: Lady in Black - Death to the Man Bun and Rolled Up Man Pants at September 11, 2018 01:14 PM (mQ0Mc)

58 If I had a spare Genie wish, I might wish that the lady who just won the US Open would win the next 4 Grand Slam events...all over Serena in the finals...in straight sets.



Posted by: JB1000 at September 11, 2018 01:08 PM (16OL0)


Seconded. I feel about Serena as I did about Nancy Kerrigan - an entitled, spoiled brat who needs to be curb-stomped in her next competition.

Posted by: Mary Poppins' Practically Perfect Piercing at September 11, 2018 01:14 PM (kqsXK)

59 46 I'm so old I remember when sports and weather weren't political issues.
Posted by: josephistan at September 11, 2018 01:13 PM (7HtZB)


Yes, weather is controlled by the Gods, not politics...


But for a substantial donation we will intercede on your behalf...

Posted by: Evors at September 11, 2018 01:14 PM (NgKpN)

60 Oh Oh SMH, keese , hug, how is your bod doing?

Posted by: willow at September 11, 2018 01:14 PM (dPd5y)

61
The EwokSignal. Welcome, old friend.

Posted by: IllTemperedCur at September 11, 2018 01:15 PM (eXA4G)

62 55 Hey, some illegal stuffing more money into my SoSec account and me getting more money at retirement is winning!
Right?
Posted by: Short Sighted Idiot at September 11, 2018 01:13 PM (e1mEI)

If they don't claim it first........
Posted by: Sponge at September 11, 2018 01:13 PM (F4u7C)

Or they could be taking 9 child deductions and leaving you with a tax bill!

Posted by: rhennigantx at September 11, 2018 01:15 PM (JFO2v)

63 Good thing we don't have a signal to summon CBD...


Would be a bit... provocative..

Posted by: Don Q at September 11, 2018 01:09 PM (NgKpN)


you rang...

Posted by: naked ottoman fucker at September 11, 2018 01:15 PM (8D42x)

64 I'm married to a woman. She farts. A lot.

Posted by: Sponge at September 11, 2018 01:10 PM (F4u7C)


Don't I know it.

Posted by: Sponge's Dog at September 11, 2018 01:15 PM (kqsXK)

65 Posted by: Tom Servo at September 11, 2018 01:13 PM (k1TUh)

(1) Get woke.
(2) Bathe in the respect of a loud, unappealing group.
(3) Really wake up and find yourself all alone as the woke go to try on their next skin-suit.

Posted by: Sahib Mikey's Safari Adventure & Clubbing Extravaganza is now stocked and open! at September 11, 2018 01:16 PM (hLRSq)

66 You're advocating something should return that should never have seen the light of day?

That and the rat tail?

I'm not advocating it, she is. You just have to know my kid. Different drummer etc. She is NOT one to follow the crowd. And one of the sweetest kindest people you will ever meet.

Posted by: Jewells45 at September 11, 2018 01:16 PM (kG5hP)

67 It's funny that someone on mSNBC said Trump is a bigger threat than 9-11, since their network was trying to pin that on Buuuuuush.

Posted by: Mr. Peebles at September 11, 2018 01:16 PM (oVJmc)

68 Or they could be taking 9 child deductions and leaving you with a tax bill!
Posted by: rhennigantx at September 11, 2018 01:15 PM (JFO2v)
-----------

Don't forget the mortgage that was defaulted on.

Posted by: Blake - used bridge salesman at September 11, 2018 01:16 PM (qC1Sy)

69 Here in Chicago, these g0ddamn hotel worker protestors are annoying as hell. I keep hoping they all get fired. How classless and un-America to have a stupid ass union strike and protest on 9/11. Someone should have had the decency to make the protestors take a day off from the hollering.


Posted by: Eli Cash at September 11, 2018 01:16 PM (a+WIL)

70 33 willowed:

Miss America pageant viewership plummets 36%.

Interesting number. Not 50% which would indicate males stopped watching because no hint of boob or camel toe. I think we've now discovered the percentage of 'woke guys' in the country -- 14%.
Posted by: Forgot My Nic at September 11, 2018 01:09 PM (LOgQ4)

I don't watch television. But if I did, I doubt I'd watch the Miss America pageant, but if I did I would be watching to see some pretty girls, looking pretty and for no other reason.

Posted by: Northernlurker, but call me Teem at September 11, 2018 01:16 PM (nBr1j)

71 jeseph, I remember when weather meant if one could have a neighborhood barbeque, or Go to a football game and you next seat mate was as excited as you to see what.happened. next!

shame on them!

we divide people?

my ass
They are!

Posted by: willow at September 11, 2018 01:16 PM (dPd5y)

72
Ace is the place with the helpful hardware Ewok.

Unless you need shelves.

Posted by: Hadrian the Seventh at September 11, 2018 01:16 PM (BWL+E)

73 Has the Enstompening happened yet?

Posted by: someone random at September 11, 2018 01:16 PM (6FY0P)

74 It's obvious - with an enrollment profile like that, they are now locked into facing massive drops in their student body each year for the next 3 years, which necessarily means budget cuts and faculty layoffs. And it's already too late for them to avoid that outcome.
Posted by: Tom Servo at September 11, 2018 01:13 PM (k1TUh)


And the BEST part? You probably STILL can't get the classes you need!

Posted by: Don Quixote at September 11, 2018 01:16 PM (NgKpN)

75 funny: when *I* poasted the Miss America story last thread, no one said a thing...

was it the zerohedge link?

Posted by: redc1c4 at September 11, 2018 01:16 PM (rjbMC)

76 I see a shadow of a post hovering over this post.

Posted by: Roy at September 11, 2018 01:17 PM (s0mEx)

77 My water glass is shaking. It must be the approaching enstompening.

Hey, as long as it eats the lawyer first, we are all good, right? I suggest Insomniac start running now, if he's anywhere around.

Posted by: Vanceone at September 11, 2018 01:17 PM (zzW7w)

78 I imagine the Men that are saying their wives are farting indiscriminate of where they are , are listening to the same Dog they blame for Their gaseous moments.

Posted by: willow at September 11, 2018 01:17 PM (dPd5y)

79 56 Do.Not.Make.Me.StopThis.Car.
Posted by: willow

Pull my finger

Posted by: wrg500 Manatee bounty hunter at September 11, 2018 01:17 PM (Bdeb0)

80 How 'bout that patriot Joe Scarborough? Amirite?


G'day, hordlings.

Posted by: Jane D'oh at September 11, 2018 01:18 PM (ptqGC)

81 50- Evergreen's appeal has become more selective

Posted by: josephistan at September 11, 2018 01:18 PM (7HtZB)

82 58 If I had a spare Genie wish, I might wish that the lady who just won the US Open would win the next 4 Grand Slam events...all over Serena in the finals...in straight sets.



Posted by: JB1000 at September 11, 2018 01:08 PM (16OL0)

Seconded. I feel about Serena as I did about Nancy Kerrigan - an entitled, spoiled brat who needs to be curb-stomped in her next competition.
Posted by: Mary Poppins' Practically Perfect Piercing at September 11, 2018 01:14 PM (kqsXK)

The people who spent the entire post-tournament conference worshipping Serena Williams are excrement. They should be banned from the sport.

Posted by: Northernlurker, but call me Teem at September 11, 2018 01:18 PM (nBr1j)

83 oh and women fart
Posted by: wrg500 Manatee bounty hunter at September 11, 2018 01:06 PM (Bdeb0)


All animals have bacteria in their colons that create gas so they all do it. I hate bacteria.

Posted by: Steve and Cold Bear at September 11, 2018 01:18 PM (/qEW2)

84 74
It's obvious - with an enrollment profile like that, they are now locked
into facing massive drops in their student body each year for the next 3
years, which necessarily means budget cuts and faculty layoffs. And
it's already too late for them to avoid that outcome.

Posted by: Tom Servo at September 11, 2018 01:13 PM (k1TUh)





And the BEST part? You probably STILL can't get the classes you need!

Posted by: Don Quixote at September 11, 2018

*
*
From everything I've read, I'm of the opinion it couldn't happen to a nicer college.

Posted by: Wolfus Aurelius at September 11, 2018 01:18 PM (/ZWeB)

85 Hey willow,

Going to the bathroom is still somewhat of a pain, but healing.

Sitting outside right now enjoying the gorgeous south Illinois weather.

Once the g-babies pick up their toys, Gammy will read to them.

So I have some time still to myself.

Posted by: SMH - Future proprietress of Bartertown at September 11, 2018 01:18 PM (z3nSX)

86 Happy 9/11, everyone!

Posted by: Barack Hussein Obama at September 11, 2018 01:19 PM (bYk1t)

87 80 How 'bout that patriot Joe Scarborough? Amirite?

That bag he ate was full of 911 dicks.

Posted by: Roy at September 11, 2018 01:19 PM (s0mEx)

88
It's obvious - with an enrollment profile like that, they are now locked into facing massive drops in their student body each year for the next 3 years, which necessarily means budget cuts and faculty layoffs. And it's already too late for them to avoid that outcome.

Posted by: Tom Servo at September 11, 2018 01:13 PM (k1TUh)


That's sad. I am now sad. Can't you see the tears rolling down my face. That's sadness.

Posted by: Hadrian the Seventh at September 11, 2018 01:19 PM (BWL+E)

89
It's obvious - with an enrollment profile like that, they are now locked into facing massive drops in their student body each year for the next 3 years, which necessarily means budget cuts and faculty layoffs. And it's already too late for them to avoid that outcome.
Posted by: Tom Servo at September 11, 2018 01:13 PM (k1TUh)

Free weekly pot ration. Pot is commie hippie catnip.

Posted by: Headless Body of Agnew at September 11, 2018 01:19 PM (e1mEI)

90 (1) Get woke.
(2) Bathe in the respect of a loud, unappealing group.
(3) Really wake up and find yourself all alone as the woke go to try on their next skin-suit.
Posted by: Sahib Mikey's Safari Adventure & Clubbing Extravaganza is now stocked and open! at September 11, 2018 01:16 PM (hLRSq)

Woke up
Got out of bed
Dragged a comb across my head

Posted by: The Beatles at September 11, 2018 01:19 PM (NFEMn)

91 82
The people who spent the entire post-tournament conference worshipping Serena Williams are excrement. They should be banned from the sport.
Posted by: Northernlurker, but call me Teem at September 11, 2018 01:18 PM (nBr1j)


Especially the official who said "we didn't get the result we wanted" or something like that. What the hell?

Posted by: rickl at September 11, 2018 01:19 PM (xjiRE)

92

I'm married to a woman. She farts. A lot.


At the beginning of courtship, a fun game to play with your now-Significant Other is "Who Will Fart In Bed First."

Posted by: BackwardsBoy at September 11, 2018 01:20 PM (HaL55)

93 I don't watch television. But if I did, I doubt I'd watch the Miss America pageant, but if I did I would be watching to see some pretty girls, looking pretty and for no other reason.
Posted by: Northernlurker


I don't think I ever have watched the pageant. At least, not since Bert Parks retired.

For those unfamiliar with Bert Parks, off my lawn!

Posted by: rickb223 at September 11, 2018 01:20 PM (rIQuo)

94 Women don't dart. We ...toot, delicately and elegantly.

Posted by: IC, now with extra super elite at September 11, 2018 01:20 PM (a0IVu)

95 Interesting number. Not 50% which would indicate males stopped watching because no hint of boob or camel toe. I think we've now discovered the percentage of 'woke guys' in the country -- 14%.
Posted by: Forgot My Nic at September 11, 2018 01:09 PM (LOgQ4)


You're assuming 50% of the viewership was male. Is it? I don't know. I've never had an interest in watching it. If I want pr0n I'll watch pr0n. I don't want to look at women who aren't necessarily my type prattle on about their plans for world peace.

Posted by: Steve and Cold Bear at September 11, 2018 01:20 PM (/qEW2)

96 How 'bout that patriot Joe Scarborough? Amirite?


G'day, hordlings.


Posted by: Jane D'oh at September 11, 2018 01:18 PM (ptqGC)


Strap him to a JDAM and drop him over a 'stan.

Posted by: Sahib Mikey's Safari Adventure & Clubbing Extravaganza is now stocked and open! at September 11, 2018 01:20 PM (hLRSq)

97 64 I'm married to a woman. She farts. A lot.

Posted by: Sponge at September 11, 2018 01:10 PM (F4u7C)

Don't I know it.
Posted by: Sponge's Dog at September 11, 2018 01:15 PM (kqsXK)

My late wife was the gassiest person I knew. Everything she ate gave her gas. I miss the sound of her farting. :0 and, yes, I'm smiling.

Posted by: Northernlurker, but call me Teem at September 11, 2018 01:20 PM (nBr1j)

98 Thank you for entertaining me while I am on this horrendous conference call for work!

Posted by: Hillary4Prison at September 11, 2018 01:20 PM (3aBcq)

99 SMH, may the grandbabes be lazy for a spell and you have rest. Im so glad you are well, I know recovery is a btch but you'll feel fit as new in a mth or so.

then I will welcome your help in fighting these miscreants stating we have gaseous thrills in public as They do!

Posted by: willow at September 11, 2018 01:20 PM (dPd5y)

100 94, damnit...fart..that was what I meant to type

Posted by: IC, now with extra super elite at September 11, 2018 01:20 PM (a0IVu)

101 80 How 'bout that patriot Joe Scarborough? Amirite?

That bag he ate was full of 911 dicks.
Posted by: Roy at September 11, 2018 01:19 PM (s0mEx)

Scarborough should be fired.

Posted by: JoeF. at September 11, 2018 01:20 PM (NFEMn)

102 Joe Scarborough is an actual Rectum.

Posted by: ro-man at September 11, 2018 01:21 PM (RuIsu)

103 If I had a spare Genie wish, I might wish that the lady who just won the US Open would win the next 4 Grand Slam events...all over Serena in the finals...in straight sets.



Posted by: JB1000 at September 11, 2018 01:08 PM (16OL0)

Seconded. I feel about Serena as I did about Nancy Kerrigan - an entitled, spoiled brat who needs to be curb-stomped in her next competition.
Posted by: Mary Poppins' Practically Perfect Piercing at September 11, 2018 01:14 PM (kqsXK)

The people who spent the entire post-tournament conference worshipping Serena Williams are excrement. They should be banned from the sport.

Posted by: Northernlurker, but call me Teem at September 11, 2018 01:18 PM (nBr1j)

for me, the most aggravating part was after the post match media circus, the bloody reporters APPLAUDED serena, like she had taken some amazing stand or something.

Posted by: SturmToddler at September 11, 2018 01:21 PM (8D42x)

104 94
Women don't dart. We ...toot, delicately and elegantly.


Posted by: IC, now with extra super elite at September 11, 2018

*
*
"Beans, beans, the musical fruit!
The more you eat, the more you toot!"

Posted by: Bart Simpson at September 11, 2018 01:21 PM (/ZWeB)

105 91 Only the president of the USTA..black of course.

Posted by: steevy at September 11, 2018 01:21 PM (mCMQ5)

106 I'm married to a woman. She farts. A lot.


At the beginning of courtship, a fun game to play with your now-Significant Other is "Who Will Fart In Bed First."
Posted by: BackwardsBoy


Who can dutch oven whom?

Posted by: rickb223 at September 11, 2018 01:21 PM (rIQuo)

107 BTW, I saw a headline in my globohomo cuck media feed that TRUMP OMG CAUSED OUTRAGE TODAY.

what the fuck, media, stop it.

Posted by: Krystal Slider Enthusiast at September 11, 2018 01:21 PM (yMqYP)

108 10 years I was with my ex...

Never. Not once.

Posted by: garrett at September 11, 2018 01:22 PM (Q5lAo)

109 Dragged a comb across my head
Posted by: The Beatles


... on the way downstairs, I vaped a fag ...

Posted by: Adriane the Historical Music Critic ... at September 11, 2018 01:22 PM (AoK0a)

110 Pretty girls farting is about the hottest thing I can imagine.

Posted by: Chris M at September 11, 2018 01:22 PM (eAZVt)

111 It's obvious - with an enrollment profile like that, they are now locked into facing massive drops in their student body each year for the next 3 years, which necessarily means budget cuts and faculty layoffs. And it's already too late for them to avoid that outcome.
Posted by: Tom Servo

More unemployed Antifa foot soldiers

Posted by: Jean at September 11, 2018 01:22 PM (j0Mw7)

112
funny: when *I* poasted the Miss America story last thread, no one said a thing...

was it the zerohedge link?

Posted by: redc1c4 at September 11, 2018 01:16 PM


That's because you didn't post an opinion that others would either agree with or tear apart. If you want to make the 'big bucks' as a Commenter here, you have to know how to play the game.

* lights cigar with $100 bill *

Posted by: Forgot My Nic at September 11, 2018 01:22 PM (LOgQ4)

113 How 'bout that patriot Joe Scarborough? Amirite?

He's trying to walk it back. Says it's our fault for misreading him.

If only we'd let him be clear!

Posted by: Sponge's Dog at September 11, 2018 01:22 PM (kqsXK)

114 srsly do other women have gas so much? I have Had gas , but certainly have been in control of it almost always.

(not including after surgery tho)

Posted by: willow at September 11, 2018 01:22 PM (dPd5y)

115 garret uh oh, are You my ex?

Posted by: willow at September 11, 2018 01:23 PM (dPd5y)

116 @46
I remember when the NRA was non-political.

Posted by: Xipe Totec at September 11, 2018 01:23 PM (xP7rZ)

117
At the beginning of courtship, a fun game to play with your now-Significant Other is "Who Will Fart In Bed First."
Posted by: BackwardsBoy at September 11, 2018 01:20 PM (HaL55)


Where it's a sign of complete comfort, the first time is ALWAYS an accident. Laughing. A surprise tickle. Bending over to tie a shoe or pick something up.

After that, it's a free for all.

Posted by: Sponge at September 11, 2018 01:23 PM (F4u7C)

118 At the beginning of courtship, a fun game to play with your now-Significant Other is "Who Will Fart In Bed First."

And then a rousing game of "Find The Upper Decker."

Posted by: Mary Poppins' Practically Perfect Piercing at September 11, 2018 01:23 PM (kqsXK)

119 Ace has a great topic for a thread:

"PDT is just like 9/11 or something---by Joe Scarborough"

Posted by: Jane D'oh at September 11, 2018 01:23 PM (ptqGC)

120 You're assuming 50% of the viewership was male. Is it? I don't know. I've never had an interest in watching it. If I want pr0n I'll watch pr0n. I don't want to look at women who aren't necessarily my type prattle on about their plans for world peace.
Posted by: Steve and Cold Bear at September 11, 2018 01:20 PM (/qEW2)

"I think, like, we all need to do our part to, like, help the environment, and stuff. It's like super important that we, like, have enough elephants and giraffes, and like zebras, for our children to like be able to see them too. Thank you."

Posted by: joe, living dangerously at September 11, 2018 01:23 PM (KUaJL)

121 He's trying to walk it back. Says it's our fault for misreading him.

If only we'd let him be clear!
Posted by: Sponge's Dog at September 11, 2018 01:22 PM (kqsXK)


That's enough outta you. Go lay down.....

Posted by: Sponge at September 11, 2018 01:23 PM (F4u7C)

122 114
srsly do other women have gas so much? I have Had gas , but certainly have been in control of it almost always.



(not including after surgery tho)

Posted by: willow at September 11, 2018 01:22 PM (dPd5y)
Yup. me too. I guess some women IBS type symptoms and gas a lot. With age comes wisdom and I kind of know what food does not agree with my digestive system and just avoid it.

Posted by: IC, now with extra super elite at September 11, 2018 01:24 PM (a0IVu)

123 I love you willow, but I fart.

Not toot.

Not poot.

Fart.

And when one stays futless for a week, you lose any concern about farting in public.

So when you do finally break wind, you're happy because you realize your colon works after all.

Posted by: SMH - Future proprietress of Bartertown at September 11, 2018 01:24 PM (z3nSX)

124 everyone farts, girlfriend material just does it on the other side of the house.

Posted by: Krystal Slider Enthusiast at September 11, 2018 01:24 PM (yMqYP)

125 114 srsly do other women have gas so much?

==

probably all the salads and kale

Posted by: votermom pimping NEW Moron-authored books! at September 11, 2018 01:24 PM (CE6iV)

126 She also called Serena "fierce mama" or some such drivel.See,Serena recently had a baby so they were counting on her triumphing so they could trumpet that too.

Posted by: steevy at September 11, 2018 01:24 PM (mCMQ5)

127 Evergreen State needs a turnaround artist and financial whiz, like Bernie's wife Jane.

Posted by: Miklos, problem solver at September 11, 2018 01:24 PM (zCyNd)

128 Especially the official who said "we didn't get the result we wanted" or something like that. What the hell?

Posted by: rickl at September 11, 2018 01:19 PM (xjiRE)

that "lady" was the chairman of the US open.

it's no wonder the poor gir lwho won, actually apologized for winning after that remark....

Posted by: SturmToddler at September 11, 2018 01:24 PM (8D42x)

129 And then a rousing game of "Find The Upper Decker."
Posted by: Mary Poppins' Practically Perfect Piercing at September 11, 2018 01:23 PM (kqsXK)

If you have to unscrew the showerhead to find it, everyone loses.

Posted by: Warai-otoko at September 11, 2018 01:24 PM (BRvh1)

130 Wolfus Aurelius

Try us!

Kansas


No hurricanes, for sure.

⚓ Please disregard any tornadoes, squall fronts, straight-line winds, lightning, earthquakes, biblical flooding in the river bottoms, chiggers and authors writing "What's the Matter with Kansas?" ⚓

Posted by: NaCly Dog at September 11, 2018 01:24 PM (hyuyC)

131 You're assuming 50% of the viewership was male. Is it? I don't know. I've never had an interest in watching it. If I want pr0n I'll watch pr0n. I don't want to look at women who aren't necessarily my type prattle on about their plans for world peace.
Posted by: Steve and Cold Bear at September 11, 2018 01:20 PM (/qEW2)

You nailed it even if you don't know it. There's no need to hang around watching a commercial-laden bullshit TV special hoping for a hint of a glance of cleavage or camel toe when millions of pictures of scantily-clad or nude young women are a few clicks away----let alone actual pron for every depraved sexual compulsion....

Posted by: JoeF. at September 11, 2018 01:24 PM (NFEMn)

132 Again with the women farting!

Posted by: steevy at September 11, 2018 01:24 PM (mCMQ5)

133
for me, the most aggravating part was after the post match media circus, the bloody reporters APPLAUDED serena, like she had taken some amazing stand or something.

Posted by: SturmToddler at September 11, 2018 01:21 PM (8D42x)


All probably Yankees fans too. Or people like Cris Collinsworth, blubbering about poor Tom Brady losing the Super Bowl.

Posted by: Hadrian the Seventh at September 11, 2018 01:25 PM (BWL+E)

134 IC, exactly I know what food will damage my pristine natural order.

high 5

Posted by: willow at September 11, 2018 01:25 PM (dPd5y)

135 Especially the official who said "we didn't get the result we wanted" or something like that. What the hell? Posted by: rickl at September 11, 2018 01:19 PM (xjiRE)
=====

Sounds like a Hillary supporter.

Elderly people over young, vibrant, and competent people.

Posted by: mustbequantum at September 11, 2018 01:25 PM (MIKMs)

136 119 Ace has a great topic for a thread:

"PDT is just like 9/11 or something---by Joe Scarborough"

-------------

Joe really knows how to read the room. fuck that guy.

everyday, I think we've reached the bottom of the barrel for behavior norms for the cuck globohomo news media and every day, they say worse things.

Posted by: Krystal Slider Enthusiast at September 11, 2018 01:25 PM (yMqYP)

137 Women don't dart. We ...toot, delicately and elegantly.
Posted by: IC, now with extra super elite at September 11, 2018 01:20 PM (a0IVu)


I made my wife watch a dart tournament the other day. She wasn't impressed.

Posted by: Sponge at September 11, 2018 01:25 PM (F4u7C)

138 I don't watch television. But if I did, I doubt I'd
watch the Miss America pageant, but if I did I would be watching to see
some pretty girls, looking pretty and for no other reason.

Posted by: Northernlurker, but call me Teem at September 11, 2018 01:16 PM (nBr1j)

Mrs. DIG had the pageant on for a little while (there was nothing else worth watching! Yikes!). It was a creepy SJW-fest.
When they did their introductions, our Miss Michigan blathered about pure drinking water, and didn't even say she was from Michigan!
And the final ten consisted of three African-Americans, one hispanic, and one asian, I think.


Posted by: Deplorable Ian Galt at September 11, 2018 01:25 PM (8iiMU)

139 >>Again with the women farting!


They're incorrigible!

Posted by: garrett at September 11, 2018 01:26 PM (Q5lAo)

140 SMH, I will refuse to believe this! No you don't!

looks away, lol

Posted by: willow at September 11, 2018 01:26 PM (dPd5y)

141 She also called Serena "fierce mama" or some such drivel.See,Serena recently had a baby so they were counting on her triumphing so they could trumpet that too.
Posted by: steevy at September 11, 2018 01:24 PM (mCMQ5)

They tried to turn Beyonce into "supermom" a few years ago too.
Why is it newsworthy when a black woman has a kid nowadays?

Posted by: JoeF. at September 11, 2018 01:26 PM (NFEMn)

142 I don't get the Serena drama. If you want to be a bad-girl acting out like John Mcenroe (I assume) then you get some backlash.

As americans, we should learn to love backlash. mmmm...backlashalicious.

Posted by: Krystal Slider Enthusiast at September 11, 2018 01:26 PM (yMqYP)

143 Heh. I had a girlfriend who said she would leave me if I farted in bed. She is gone of course.

Posted by: Xipe Totec at September 11, 2018 01:26 PM (xP7rZ)

144 it's no wonder the poor gir lwho won, actually apologized for winning after that remark....
Posted by: SturmToddler at September 11, 2018 01:24 PM (8D42x)


They made her apologize for winning and she was CRYING.

Way to ruin the best and biggest moment of her life.

I hate the left. I hate NY for booing her.

I hate what they're doing to my world.

Posted by: Sponge at September 11, 2018 01:26 PM (F4u7C)

145 The Hillary parallels are pretty clear,the reactions so similar.Soon they will investigate the winner and find some reason to strip the title from her and award it to Serena.

Posted by: steevy at September 11, 2018 01:26 PM (mCMQ5)

146 How 'bout that Joe Shitborough?


Posted by: Central Scrutinizer

Didn't Shitborough come out and say that Trump was more dangerous than 9/11?

Beyond insane. These people must be raking in big bucks to spew this shit

Posted by: Cheri at September 11, 2018 01:27 PM (oiNtH)

147 oh oh oh, looks at garret and thought bubbles..

just wait.

Posted by: willow at September 11, 2018 01:27 PM (dPd5y)

148 After that, it's a free for all.
Posted by: Sponge

A fart in the wind
All we are is A fart in the wind
A fart in the wind
All we are is A fart in the wind

Posted by: wrg500 Manatee bounty hunter at September 11, 2018 01:27 PM (Bdeb0)

149 Pageants are stupid ideas whose time has passed.

Posted by: Tom Servo at September 11, 2018 01:27 PM (k1TUh)

150 142
I don't get the Serena drama. If you want to be a bad-girl acting out
like John Mcenroe (I assume) then you get some backlash.



As americans, we should learn to love backlash. mmmm...backlashalicious.

Posted by: Krystal Slider Enthusiast at September 11, 2018 01:26 PM (yMqYP)
I don't think she is bothered as much as other people are. She was fined 17k which she paid and now it is vacay time till the Australian Open.

Posted by: IC, now with extra super elite at September 11, 2018 01:27 PM (a0IVu)

151 I'm killing it on Twitter. Just like I killed that intern.

Posted by: Murderin' Joe Scarborough at September 11, 2018 01:27 PM (iys0/)

152 Morning Douche: Trump more damaging to America than 9-11.

Hey Joe. Fuck your mother in her filthy whore mouth.

Posted by: Marcus T at September 11, 2018 01:28 PM (k4Tuv)

153 >>She also called Serena "fierce mama"


'Mama's got a tube steak
underneath her dress
and when daddy come home
he never get no rest'

Posted by: The Who at September 11, 2018 01:28 PM (Q5lAo)

154 And the girls is half Haitian,half Japanese.Normally they would celebrate such a "diverse" athlete winning the first title in tennis for a Japanese person.

Posted by: steevy at September 11, 2018 01:28 PM (mCMQ5)

155 The silly thing about the Serena sexism claim is that women are being held to standards of conduct that men aren't.

1) If *both* players are being held to a certain standard of conduct, then *neither* is being treated unfairly, even if it's a different standard than the men are being held to. Hence any attempt to claim some sort of unequal treatment here is silly, since Osaka is not a man.

2) The argument here is not that men should be held accountable to the rules not to abuse the umpire. It's that women should be brought down to the lowest common denominator. That rules should be overlooked when it's convenient for the institutions favorite to win. Maybe they ought to start replacing their Hispanic umpires with Hawaiian ones.

Posted by: Steve and Cold Bear at September 11, 2018 01:28 PM (/qEW2)

156 Hating on Ewoks will get you banned from Twitter.

Posted by: xnycpeasant at September 11, 2018 01:28 PM (koNhm)

157 Hey Joe. Fuck your mother in her filthy whore mouth.
Posted by: Marcus T at September 11, 2018 01:28 PM (k4Tuv)

Hey, that's no way to talk about Mika!

Posted by: Warai-otoko at September 11, 2018 01:28 PM (BRvh1)

158 dust in the wind. that song meant something at one time.

or maybe It still does .

Posted by: willow at September 11, 2018 01:28 PM (dPd5y)

159 A Day Without Ace?

Posted by: Soothi at September 11, 2018 01:28 PM (16wrz)

160 oh well, these are the days of transposed rage. Let's all virtue signal over serena. The internet is a sewer of insanity.

Posted by: Krystal Slider Enthusiast at September 11, 2018 01:28 PM (yMqYP)

161 "93 I don't watch television. But if I did, I doubt I'd watch the Miss America pageant, but if I did I would be watching to see some pretty girls, looking pretty and for no other reason.
Posted by: Northernlurker "

You can replace "Miss America" with "women's sports" and it still works.

Posted by: goodluckduck at September 11, 2018 01:29 PM (rwaEp)

162 my parrot still "farts" like my ex did at bedtime 20 years later. hilarious.

Posted by: adobe juan kenobe at September 11, 2018 01:29 PM (s88c4)

163
And the final ten consisted of three African-Americans, one hispanic, and one asian, I think.


Posted by: Deplorable Ian Galt at September 11, 2018 01:25 PM


And the winner was, almost predictably, an African-American. *That's* why I would never again waste a minute watching it. The best aren't gonna win, it's totally fixed.

Posted by: Forgot My Nic at September 11, 2018 01:29 PM (LOgQ4)

164 >>A Day Without Ace?

Patience.
It's barely afternoon.

Posted by: garrett at September 11, 2018 01:29 PM (Q5lAo)

165 18 do I smell pancakes?

Posted by: willow at September 11, 2018 01:07 PM (dPd5y)


Is willow smelling pancakes over at ace's?

Posted by: blaster at September 11, 2018 01:29 PM (Z5y53)

166 Leonard Maltin has come to the Defense of a company that was stiffed by Micheal Moore, of over 150,000. He said that Moore is slandering the company that was forced to sue him because he refused to pay

Posted by: Patrick From Ohio at September 11, 2018 01:30 PM (6AWNk)

167 for me, the most aggravating part was after the post match media circus, the bloody reporters APPLAUDED serena, like she had taken some amazing stand or something.

Posted by: SturmToddler at September 11, 2018 01:21 PM (8D42x)

All probably Yankees fans too. Or people like Cris Collinsworth, blubbering about poor Tom Brady losing the Super Bowl.


Posted by: Hadrian the Seventh at September 11, 2018 01:25 PM (BWL+E)

Well it was new York and all...

Posted by: SturmToddler at September 11, 2018 01:30 PM (8D42x)

168 I hate the left. I hate NY for booing her.

I hate what they're doing to my world.
Posted by: Sponge


I don't. They just better pray that they never need help. Of any kind.

Posted by: rickb223 at September 11, 2018 01:30 PM (rIQuo)

169 [Then delivered he himself of such a godless and rock-shivering blast
that all were fain to stop their ears, and following it did come so dense
and foul a stink that that which went before did seem a poor and trifling
thing beside it. Then saith he, feigning that he blushed and was
confused, I perceive that I am weak to-day, and cannot justice do unto my
powers; and sat him down as who should say, There, it is not much yet he
that hath an arse to spare, let him fellow that, an' he think he can. By
God, an' I were ye queene, I would e'en tip this swaggering braggart out
o' the court, and let him air his grandeurs and break his intolerable
wind before ye deaf and such as suffocation pleaseth.]

Posted by: Miklos, team player at September 11, 2018 01:30 PM (zCyNd)

170 161 - You will be made to care.

--poop

Posted by: Nincompoop at September 11, 2018 01:30 PM (zn7R9)

171 Even liberals don't believe the over-the-top shit that Joe Scarborough says.

Posted by: Adirondack Patriot at September 11, 2018 01:30 PM (vbJig)

172

What did Pal Joey say this time?

Posted by: BackwardsBoy at September 11, 2018 01:30 PM (HaL55)

173 Let's not forget Michael Moore's 9-11 rant as he instantly turned his thoughts to why didn't the terrorists go after W. Fucking insane leftists.

you guys remember his little rant? The worst part about 9-11 is it gave W some popularity, and that Clinton wanted it.

Also, remember that fucking richard geeeere at the concert for 9-11 soon thereafter said we should also hold pity or honor or sads or prayers for the terrorists who died in the attack.

Posted by: Krystal Slider Enthusiast at September 11, 2018 01:30 PM (yMqYP)

174 They tried to turn Beyonce into "supermom" a few years ago too.
Why is it newsworthy when a black woman has a kid nowadays?

Posted by: JoeF. at September 11, 2018 01:26 PM (NFEMn)

maybe it's because those two are still married to the baby daddy?

I denounce myself...

Posted by: SturmToddler at September 11, 2018 01:31 PM (8D42x)

175 Fuck your mother

damn Marcus! thats serious

Posted by: rhennigantx at September 11, 2018 01:31 PM (JFO2v)

176 I think Yankee Candles makes a candle that smells like pancakes.

Posted by: Adirondack Patriot at September 11, 2018 01:31 PM (vbJig)

177 I've followed weather underground's forecasts, and they've been pretty true to eventual climate conditions. This tracking map shows Flo weakening to Cat 3 before hitting landfall, then quickly diminishing to TS status.
I recall one year here in SE PA workplace was prepping us for Armageddon. The WU tracking maps did not comport with what our emergency prep managers were telling us. Of course I took precautions, but the hurricane ended up being a lot tamer, per WU model, than the dire predictions senior mgmt was delivering.

https://tinyurl.com/y7prkcjt

Posted by: kallisto at September 11, 2018 01:31 PM (DJFLF)

178 139 >>Again with the women farting!


They're incorrigible!
Posted by: garrett

Hey, the grown ups left us alone

Posted by: wrg500 Manatee bounty hunter at September 11, 2018 01:31 PM (Bdeb0)

179 - You will be made to care.

--poop
Posted by: Nincompoop at September 11, 2018 01:30 PM (zn7R9)


Poo is a funny word.

Posted by: Sponge at September 11, 2018 01:31 PM (F4u7C)

180 The assholes at the tennis center don't represent all of NY.

Posted by: steevy at September 11, 2018 01:31 PM (mCMQ5)

181 Pageants without skin will die out quickly. They have little entertainment value.

Posted by: Xipe Totec at September 11, 2018 01:31 PM (xP7rZ)

182
It's obvious - with an enrollment profile like that, they are now locked into facing massive drops in their student body each year for the next 3 years, which necessarily means budget cuts and faculty layoffs. And it's already too late for them to avoid that outcome.
Posted by: Tom Servo at September 11, 2018 01:13 PM (k1TUh)






If Evergreen goes under I swear to you I will get VERY choked up. Honestly, there could be tears.

Posted by: IllTemperedCur at September 11, 2018 01:31 PM (eXA4G)

183 maybe it's because those two are still married to the baby daddy?

I denounce myself...

Posted by: SturmToddler

OMG, I was just going to post that. I denounce the both of us

Posted by: Cheri at September 11, 2018 01:32 PM (oiNtH)

184
Pageants are stupid ideas whose time has passed.

Posted by: Tom Servo at September 11, 2018 01:27 PM


But how else are we going to find out innovative ideas from 18 year old girls on how to bring about world peace?

Posted by: Forgot My Nic at September 11, 2018 01:32 PM (LOgQ4)

185 Does this dress meke me look like a gorilla?

Posted by: Serena Williams at September 11, 2018 01:32 PM (s2LSa)

186 181 Pageants without skin will die out quickly. They have little entertainment value.
Posted by: Xipe Totec at September 11, 2018 01:31 PM (xP7rZ)

Eeeeewww....

oh wait, you mean...

ok, nevermind.

Posted by: Warai-otoko at September 11, 2018 01:32 PM (BRvh1)

187 I look at outgassing as my contribution to combating the coming Ice Age.

ME-thane Rules!

Posted by: Headless Body of Agnew at September 11, 2018 01:32 PM (e1mEI)

188 Pageants without skin will die out quickly. They have little entertainment value.

-------------

what is the point of these things? It's crack for women. They expect certain things. I don't know if swimsuits matter that much but it can't hurt.

Posted by: Krystal Slider Enthusiast at September 11, 2018 01:32 PM (yMqYP)

189 >>The assholes at the tennis center don't represent all of NY.


No. They don't.

In fact, most of them live in Greenwich.

(I used to work there)

Posted by: garrett at September 11, 2018 01:33 PM (Q5lAo)

190 Soon to be "The Evergreen Share Circle and Pottery Class."

Posted by: Adirondack Patriot at September 11, 2018 01:33 PM (vbJig)

191 That's because you didn't post an opinion that
others would either agree with or tear apart. If you want to make the
'big bucks' as a Commenter here, you have to know how to play the game.



* lights cigar with $100 bill *

Posted by: Forgot My Nic at September 11, 2018 01:22 PM (LOgQ4)
---
Moo-Moo, is that you?

Posted by: redc1c4 at September 11, 2018 01:33 PM (rjbMC)

192 We should all take a moment to listen to John Fugelsong (or whomever the fuck he is) about how not one of the 9/11 terrorists were Afghan, Iraqi or Iranian.......

Or some shit, because "I'M SMAHT!!!!"

Posted by: Sponge at September 11, 2018 01:33 PM (F4u7C)

193 I'm tired of making intellectual argument in response to liberals lies and fallacies. It's time to up the ante and just get down and dirty. Then fists and after that dueling. With m249's fuckers.

Posted by: Marcus T at September 11, 2018 01:33 PM (k4Tuv)

194 @180 " The assholes at the tennis center don't represent all of NY."

Certainly not Upstate NY, my beloved (though unfortunately en-Purpling home). Even for NYC the Tennis Center crowd skews heavily to the limousine-liberal, virtue-signalers-without-personal-consequence. The type who vote for Kasich, or wear designer $500 jackets from Barneys with "Anarchy" written on them for street cred.

Posted by: xnycpeasant at September 11, 2018 01:34 PM (koNhm)

195 Let's hope Ace is not in a hospital.

{{{Ace!}}} HYDRATE.

Posted by: NaCly Dog at September 11, 2018 01:34 PM (hyuyC)

196 I pray that I won't have another Katrina to deal
with before I can manage to flee this pesthole for some place where
HURRICANES DON'T HAPPEN.



Posted by: Wolfus Aurelius at September 11, 2018 01:13 PM


Try 'artford, 'ereford and 'ampshire.

Posted by: E. Doolittle at September 11, 2018 01:34 PM (p+Wdc)

197 Evergreen State needs a turnaround artist and financial whiz, like Bernie's wife Jane.

Posted by: Miklos, problem solver at September 11, 2018 01:24 PM (zCyNd)


Unless the school has been pretty rigorous about keeping administrative bloat and costs down there is going to a shaking out in higher ed that will be a cannibal's feast. The small schools and the mid-sized ones are going to go down hard.

Posted by: Sahib Mikey's Safari Adventure & Clubbing Extravaganza is now stocked and open! at September 11, 2018 01:34 PM (hLRSq)

198 177 I've followed weather underground's forecasts, and they've been pretty true to eventual climate conditions. This tracking map shows Flo weakening to Cat 3 before hitting landfall, then quickly diminishing to TS status.
I recall one year here in SE PA workplace was prepping us for Armageddon. The WU tracking maps did not comport with what our emergency prep managers were telling us. Of course I took precautions, but the hurricane ended up being a lot tamer, per WU model, than the dire predictions senior mgmt was delivering.

https://tinyurl.com/y7prkcjt
Posted by: kallisto at September 11, 2018 01:31 PM (DJFLF)


Yeah, but if it slows down and stalls out, even a tropical depression can cause catastrophic flooding. Remember Irene in Vermont, and the one that caused the Houston flooding a couple of years ago. Neither were hurricanes when they caused the most damage.

Posted by: rickl at September 11, 2018 01:34 PM (xjiRE)

199 Last night, after his bath, my two-year-old ripped ass loudly and then laughed so hard his little face turned red.

I blame my husband. His stupid chromosome is why we don't have a sweet little girl (or two of them).

Posted by: Mrs. Peel at September 11, 2018 01:35 PM (breGG)

200 195 Or buried under a pile of books due to poorly constructed shelves collapsing on him....

Posted by: steevy at September 11, 2018 01:35 PM (mCMQ5)

201 Don't forget Cockscuker Obama succeeded in renamong today Community Day or whatever the fuck. Something to do with community organizing.

This day.

Jizzmopper.

Posted by: Mega at September 11, 2018 01:35 PM (PHQT7)

202 Also, remember that fucking richard geeeere at the concert for 9-11 soon thereafter said we should also hold pity or honor or sads or prayers for the terrorists who died in the attack.

* * *

Two preliminary observations:

I don't agree with Gere.

And I laughed like a hyena when he got booed.

But I'll give him this: he ain't entirely gutless for a Hollywooder; he had to know that the crowd reaction was going to be against him, and he said it anyway. Most Hollywooders are hopeless virtue signalers: they only say "brave" things in front of friendly audiences to applause. Gere's totally wrongheaded, but Ol' Cap'n Gerbil is willing to take a punch.

Posted by: bear with assymetrcial balls at September 11, 2018 01:35 PM (iys0/)

203 Posted by: Marcus T at September 11, 2018 01:33 PM (k4Tuv)

They know they're performing the verbal equivalent of shitposting, but they are also aware that their braindead audience slurps it up like a PSL with whipped cream on top.

Posted by: kallisto at September 11, 2018 01:35 PM (DJFLF)

204 maybe it's because those two are still married to the baby daddy?

I denounce myself...

Posted by: SturmToddler

OMG, I was just going to post that. I denounce the both of us

Posted by: Cheri at September 11, 2018 01:32 PM (oiNtH)

Sweet, I have company. since we're going to hell, I've exchanged the standard handbasket for a stretch limo with wet bar. now we just need a driver...

Posted by: SturmToddler at September 11, 2018 01:35 PM (8D42x)

205 Uh-oh.

Posted by: deep moron #367 at September 11, 2018 01:35 PM (/3ElJ)

206 Ace really is starting to get up at the crack of 2PM again.

Posted by: Grump928(c) at September 11, 2018 01:36 PM (yQpMk)

207 Let's hope Ace is not in a hospital.

{{{Ace!}}} HYDRATE.
Posted by: NaCly Dog at September 11, 2018 01:34 PM (hyuyC)


I mean, just because the guy fails to hydrate to the point of hospitalization, has shelving fall on his head, causes himself various number of maladies......why must we jump to such dire conclusions?!??

Posted by: Sponge at September 11, 2018 01:36 PM (F4u7C)

208 >>I blame my husband. His stupid chromosome is why we don't have a sweet little girl (or two of them).


He forgot to leave a sock on?

Posted by: garrett at September 11, 2018 01:36 PM (Q5lAo)

209 steevy

Books? Unlikely. Val-u-Right is more probable.

Posted by: NaCly Dog at September 11, 2018 01:36 PM (hyuyC)

210 Nyah?

Posted by: Anna Puma (HQCaR) at September 11, 2018 01:36 PM (gPuuk)

211 Pageants without skin will die out quickly. They have little entertainment value.

--

Just. You. Wait. until the tranny community gets a representative up there. 'Cause you know it's coming.

Posted by: Lady in Black - Death to the Man Bun and Rolled Up Man Pants at September 11, 2018 01:36 PM (mQ0Mc)

212 nice post, s2LSa

Posted by: moby! at September 11, 2018 01:36 PM (FpZvm)

213 Who wants to see a bunch of liberal bobble heads trying to out "world peace" each other in a pageant.

Oh yeah I know, they're all very "smart" nowadays.

*makes OK sign with hand*

How about making an intellectual argument as part of the competition, followed by the swimsuit.

Posted by: Marcus T at September 11, 2018 01:36 PM (k4Tuv)

214 I blame my husband. His stupid chromosome is why we don't have a sweet little girl (or two of them).

Posted by: Mrs. Peel at September 11, 2018 01:35 PM (breGG)
My daughter learned to lift her bum off her seat and rip one out from her dad..much to my chagrin.

Posted by: IC, now with extra super elite at September 11, 2018 01:36 PM (a0IVu)

215 Not long ago, Evergreen credits didn't transfer. They were worthless then. Not much better now.

Posted by: PhilDirt at September 11, 2018 01:36 PM (QeH6w)

216 Sweet, I have company. since we're going to hell, I've exchanged the standard handbasket for a stretch limo with wet bar. now we just need a driver...
Posted by: SturmToddler at September 11, 2018 01:35 PM (8D42x)


I got this......

Posted by: Tony Stewart at September 11, 2018 01:36 PM (F4u7C)

217 And Bill Maher who insisted the terrorists were "brave" for attacking unarmed civilians.

Posted by: Mega at September 11, 2018 01:36 PM (PHQT7)

218 I blame my husband. His stupid chromosome is why we don't have a sweet little girl (or two of them).

Posted by: Mrs. Peel at September 11, 2018 01:35 PM (breGG)

I think certain positions are conducive to baby girls happening, no?

Posted by: kallisto at September 11, 2018 01:37 PM (DJFLF)

219 steevy

Come to think of it, Ace may have a new girlfriend, and is sleeping the sleep of the just ... after.

Posted by: NaCly Dog at September 11, 2018 01:37 PM (hyuyC)

220 I would love for Evergreen to close.
I have neighbors (incorrigible libs) who sent their lovely young daughter there.
I advised them against it, but may as well have been spitting in to the wind.
She came back wanting to be a man.
And she is well on her way.
Parents are understandably heartbroken.

Posted by: navybrat, in a grim mood today at September 11, 2018 01:37 PM (w7KSn)

221 199 Last night, after his bath, my two-year-old ripped ass loudly and then laughed so hard his little face turned red.

I blame my husband. His stupid chromosome is why we don't have a sweet little girl (or two of them).
Posted by: Mrs. Peel at September 11, 2018 01:35 PM (breGG)


No, no, no. Do it in the bath then watch the bubbles.

Posted by: moon_over_vermont at September 11, 2018 01:37 PM (kUmUV)

222 candles that smell like the forest are the best.

Posted by: concrete girl at September 11, 2018 01:37 PM (Tm+wy)

223 Just. You. Wait. until the tranny community gets a representative up there. 'Cause you know it's coming.

Posted by: Lady in Black - Death to the Man Bun and Rolled Up Man Pants at September 11, 2018 01:36 PM (mQ0Mc)

I would watch that.

Posted by: kallisto at September 11, 2018 01:37 PM (DJFLF)

224 >>Or buried under a pile of books due to poorly constructed shelves collapsing on him....


Fasteners.

It all comes down to choosing the right fasteners.

That and having the Drill in 'FWD'.

But mostly, having the Drill in 'FWD'.

Posted by: garrett at September 11, 2018 01:38 PM (Q5lAo)

225 A horse is a horse, of course, of course,

And no one can talk to a horse of course

That is, of course, unless the horse is the famous Mr. Ed.



Go right to the source and ask the horse

He'll give you the answer that you'll endorse.

He's always on a steady course.

Talk to Mr. Ed.


Mr. Ed doesn't fart.



Posted by: Wilbur Post at September 11, 2018 01:38 PM (8iiMU)

226
Pennsylvania is traditionally the location where hurricanes come to die, dumping their final load on us for a day or two. If NC and VA get the honor this time, I won't feel sad.

We're already drenched. The entire summer was a washout.

Posted by: Forgot My Nic at September 11, 2018 01:38 PM (LOgQ4)

227 Ru Paul for Xir Trans U Queen

Posted by: Anna Puma (HQCaR) at September 11, 2018 01:38 PM (gPuuk)

228 199 Last night, after his bath, my two-year-old ripped ass loudly and then laughed so hard his little face turned red.

I blame my husband. His stupid chromosome is why we don't have a sweet little girl (or two of them).
Posted by: Mrs. Peel at September 11, 2018 01:35 PM (breGG)

---

My youngest g-baby, who is two also, prides herself on her stinky farts.

Me: *eyes C suspiciously* Did you do that?

C: Was that stinky?

Me: Yes, phew!

C: Did you like it?

Posted by: SMH - Future proprietress of Bartertown at September 11, 2018 01:38 PM (z3nSX)

229 I think certain positions are conducive to baby girls happening, no?

Yes, but on the flip side, my ex wife was convinced she was going to have a puppy.

Posted by: WitchDoktor, AKA VA GOP Sucks at September 11, 2018 01:38 PM (PFy0L)

230
Come to think of it, Ace may have a new girlfriend, and is sleeping the sleep of the just ... after.
Posted by: NaCly Dog at September 11, 2018 01:37 PM (hyuyC)


He's CHEATING ON US???!!??

Posted by: Tony Stewart at September 11, 2018 01:39 PM (F4u7C)

231 "How about making an intellectual argument as part of the competition, followed by the swimsuit."

Correction: bikini-on-trampoline competition.

Posted by: Miss America as Designed by and for heterosexual men at September 11, 2018 01:39 PM (koNhm)

232 How about making an intellectual argument as part of the competition, followed by the swimsuit.
Posted by: Marcus T at September 11, 2018 01:36 PM (k4Tuv)

Might as well just go full Westminster Kennel Club, and have the bitches fully nude, in a rigid pose after trotting around the stage on a leash, and some judge walks up and gets all touchy feely with her haunches and suchlike.

(if you can't already tell, I have zero respect for the whole "beauty pageant" concept.)

Posted by: Warai-otoko at September 11, 2018 01:39 PM (BRvh1)

233 I tell my granddaughters girls don't toot. And they tell me "yes we do."

Posted by: Northernlurker, but call me Teem at September 11, 2018 01:39 PM (nBr1j)

234 Just. You. Wait. until the tranny community gets a representative up there. 'Cause you know it's coming.
Posted by: Lady in Black - Death to the Man Bun and Rolled Up Man Pants

Too late Angela Ponce beat out 22 other contestants and took home the title of Miss Universe Spain...a trans

Posted by: wrg500 Manatee bounty hunter at September 11, 2018 01:39 PM (Bdeb0)

235
Ace really is starting to get up at the crack of 2PM again.

Posted by: Grump928(c) at September 11, 2018 01:36 PM (yQpMk)


Know who else started the day late?

Posted by: Hadrian the Seventh at September 11, 2018 01:39 PM (BWL+E)

236 damn sock.....

Posted by: Sponge at September 11, 2018 01:39 PM (F4u7C)

237 We need to be wedding planner for Ace, like in the good ol' days.

Posted by: NaCly Dog at September 11, 2018 01:39 PM (hyuyC)

238 John Boltons Top 10 rules of Statecraft
From Gates of Vienna http://tinyurl.com/y9czuz5n


1. “My philosophy is not a bean-counting, accounting ‘look at this.’ It is a philosophy that smaller government is better government, and government that is closer to the people is best of all.”
2. “Our biggest national security crisis is Barack Obama.”
3. “People say you favor assassination, what do you think war is? Except that it’s assassination on a much larger scale—a much more horrific scale.”
4. “Diplomacy is not an end in itself if it does not advance U.S. interests.”
5. “Negotiation is not a policy. It’s a technique. It’s something you use when it’s to your advantage, and something that you don’t use when it’s not to your advantage.”
6. “My priority is to give the United States the kind of influence it should have.”
7. “Everybody pursues their national interests. The only one who gets blamed for it is the United States.”
8. “You could take several stories off the buildings of most U.S. government agencies and we’d all probably be better for it too.”
9. “As somebody who writes op-eds and appears on the television, I appreciate as well as anybody that… there is a limit to what that accomplishes.”
And the pièce de résistance:
10. “There is no United Nations.”

Posted by: McCool at September 11, 2018 01:39 PM (WXSv6)

239 Ace should consider a move to CA.

Because they're eliminating the whole bail thing he won't have to wait for the tip jar to fill up.

Posted by: clutch cargo at September 11, 2018 01:39 PM (TUU1F)

240 Sweet, I have company. since we're going to hell, I've exchanged the standard handbasket for a stretch limo with wet bar. now we just need a driver...

Posted by: SturmToddler

Awesome! Bander.....Marcus T.....where are you??

Posted by: Cheri at September 11, 2018 01:40 PM (oiNtH)

241 WitchDoktor, was ex-gf a blond also?

Posted by: Anna Puma (HQCaR) at September 11, 2018 01:40 PM (gPuuk)

242 smells like pancakes.
Posted by: Adirondack Patriot at September 11, 2018 01:31 PM (vbJig)

what about girl pancake farts?

Posted by: rhennigantx at September 11, 2018 01:40 PM (JFO2v)

243 SMH, I will refuse to believe this! No you don't!



looks away, lol

Posted by: willow at September 11, 2018 01:26 PM (dPd5y)

---
she hung out with Tankers for years...

you can believe it.

Posted by: redc1c4, Old Skool Track Rat at September 11, 2018 01:40 PM (rjbMC)

244 "about how not one of the 9/11 terrorists were Afghan, Iraqi or Iranian....... "

Correct. They were all moslems.

Posted by: Chris M at September 11, 2018 01:40 PM (eAZVt)

245 No bud, Ewok's in LA.

Posted by: Roland THTG at September 11, 2018 01:40 PM (xBSm0)

246 137 Women don't dart. We ...toot, delicately and elegantly.
Posted by: IC, now with extra super elite at September 11, 2018 01:20 PM (a0IVu)

I made my wife watch a dart tournament the other day. She wasn't impressed.
Posted by: Sponge at September 11, 2018 01:25 PM (F4u7C)

Women wait until they go outside for that. They lawn dart.

Posted by: josephistan at September 11, 2018 01:40 PM (7HtZB)

247 Come to think of it, Ace may have a new girlfriend, and is sleeping the sleep of the just ... after.
Posted by: NaCly Dog

So with Ace is it a nooner or early morning sex?

Posted by: wrg500 Manatee bounty hunter at September 11, 2018 01:41 PM (Bdeb0)

248 casually lit a fart while around a camp fire. my lawyerette student date was astounded. had never even heard of such a thing.

hey, y'know who else was famous for being windy?

Posted by: adobe juan kenobe at September 11, 2018 01:41 PM (s88c4)

249 she hung out with Tankers for years...

you can believe it.
Posted by: redc1c4, Old Skool Track Rat at September 11, 2018 01:40 PM (rjbMC)

---

lol

Posted by: SMH - Future proprietress of Bartertown at September 11, 2018 01:41 PM (z3nSX)

250 199 Last night, after his bath, my two-year-old ripped ass loudly and then laughed so hard his little face turned red.

I blame my husband. His stupid chromosome is why we don't have a sweet little girl (or two of them).
Posted by: Mrs. Peel at September 11, 2018 01:35 PM (breGG)

Piffle. Two year old girls can be hell on wheels. And rip fart with the best of them.

Posted by: Insomniac at September 11, 2018 01:41 PM (NWiLs)

251 >>So with Ace is it a nooner or early morning sex?


Afternoon Delight

Posted by: garrett at September 11, 2018 01:41 PM (Q5lAo)

252 Too late Angela Ponce beat out 22 other contestants and took home the title of Miss Universe Spain...a trans

--

Well, I'll be...

And "she" is pretty, too.

Posted by: Lady in Black - Death to the Man Bun and Rolled Up Man Pants at September 11, 2018 01:41 PM (mQ0Mc)

253 why we don't have a sweet little girl
=====

'Sweet' little girl? ROFLMAO (did I write that the right way?)

Don't know on what planet little girls are sweet, but with my crew including grandkids, that is silliness.

Posted by: mustbequantum at September 11, 2018 01:42 PM (MIKMs)

254 Worry when the fart smells like burnt diesel.

Posted by: Anna Puma (HQCaR) at September 11, 2018 01:42 PM (gPuuk)

255 If my post at 237 does not wake up Ace in a cold sweat, nothing will.

Posted by: NaCly Dog at September 11, 2018 01:42 PM (hyuyC)

256 Oh, I forgot. He usually does not read the comments.

Posted by: NaCly Dog at September 11, 2018 01:43 PM (hyuyC)

257 My dad on beauty contests: "They're just like showing cattle at the county fair, except the cows don't know who won or lost."

Posted by: Meade Lux Lewis at September 11, 2018 01:43 PM (HiLJ1)

258 Don't know on what planet little girls are sweet, but with my crew including grandkids, that is silliness.

Posted by: mustbequantum at September 11, 2018 01:42 PM (MIKMs)

Yeah, that whole "sugar and spice and everything nice" was wishful thinking at best.

Posted by: Insomniac at September 11, 2018 01:43 PM (NWiLs)

259 >>"They're just like showing cattle at the county fair, except the cows don't know who won or lost."


Neither do the blondes.

Posted by: garrett at September 11, 2018 01:44 PM (Q5lAo)

260 And the girls is half Haitian,half Japanese.Normally they would celebrate such a "diverse" athlete winning the first title in tennis for a Japanese person.
Posted by: steevy


NO, they're too busy trying to shame Japan for being Japanese.

@pritheworld 22h
Today on The World, host @MarcoWerman speaks to Motoko Rich (@MotokoRich), Tokyo Bureau Chief for The New York Times about the reaction to Naomi Osaka's US Open win. Could Osaka change notions about people of mixed race in Japan?

Etc, etc. It gets worse from there. A lot worse. To

Posted by: weft cut-loop at September 11, 2018 01:44 PM (c07y/)

261 And the girls is half Haitian,half Japanese.Normally they would celebrate such a "diverse" athlete winning the first title in tennis for a Japanese person.

Posted by: steevy at September 11, 2018 01:28 PM (mCMQ5)


If she beat a white woman, yes.

But she didn't, and therefore must be punished.

Posted by: Mary Poppins' Practically Perfect Piercing at September 11, 2018 01:44 PM (kqsXK)

262 Anna Puma (HQCaR)

Did you really want that Department Head job?

Posted by: NaCly Dog at September 11, 2018 01:44 PM (hyuyC)

263 Yeah, that whole "sugar and spice and everything nice" was wishful thinking at best.
Posted by: Insomniac at September 11, 2018 01:43 PM (NWiLs)

---

No sh*t.

Posted by: SMH - Future proprietress of Bartertown at September 11, 2018 01:45 PM (z3nSX)

264 My dad was killed trying to invent a candle that smelled like napalm.

Posted by: Adirondack Patriot at September 11, 2018 01:45 PM (vbJig)

265 Sen. Angus King compares Sept. 11 attacks to Russian hackers while speaking at a 9/11 Remembrance event in Lewiston, Maine.

I hate them all......

Posted by: Sponge at September 11, 2018 01:45 PM (F4u7C)

266 (if you can't already tell, I have zero respect for the whole "beauty pageant" concept.)





Posted by: Warai-otoko at September 11, 2018 01:39 PM (BRvh1)


I judged a toddler beauty pageant once. It was an eye-opening experience.Of course the entire spectacle was mom-driven, how many 4 year olds beg their parents to strut them down a runway with the announcer saying:"Little Dana's dream in life is to be a neurosurgeon and supermodel!"At one point I woke up and realized what I was doing.wtf, I'm sitting here scoring little children on their poise and outfits and hairdos, and alleged dreams for the future?? This is craziness.
So I switched to awarding points if the kid's name was the same as my mom's, or s/he looked like some child in my personal network. Then I went subversive and started highly grading the children who looked less groomed and put together due to not having disposable income.
The result was entirely predictable. At the end of the contest, a mom came over to our table and accused us of racism because her immaculately groomed and outfitted little son had not won, not even placed. She said we were racist!
lol, it's because my subversion skewed all the scoring.

Posted by: kallisto at September 11, 2018 01:45 PM (DJFLF)

267 Worry when the fart smells like burnt diesel.

Nah, I'm more concerned about leaking oil.

Posted by: clutch cargo at September 11, 2018 01:45 PM (TUU1F)

268 >>Just. You. Wait. until the tranny community gets a representative up there. 'Cause you know it's coming.




And it will look like Conchita Wurst.


*If you don't know about Wurst from Eurovison (IIRC?), he looks like a typical pageant contestant except for the - get this - full, black beard.

Posted by: Lizzy at September 11, 2018 01:45 PM (W+vEI)

269 Maybe Ace is creeping over to Scarborough's pad and unloading a box full of army ants in his sheets. In which case, I'll gladly keep reading about farts for a while longer.

Posted by: Lady in Black - Death to the Man Bun and Rolled Up Man Pants at September 11, 2018 01:45 PM (mQ0Mc)

270 she hung out with Tankers for years...
you can believe it.
Posted by: redc1c4, Old Skool Track Rat at September 11, 2018 01:40 PM


Does that mean she disdains crunchies?

Posted by: Duncanthrax at September 11, 2018 01:46 PM (ctuyM)

271 262. Forgot to add:

Per the Movie Thread Kind Hearts and Coronets.

Posted by: NaCly Dog at September 11, 2018 01:46 PM (hyuyC)

272 We have defeated Ace. He will never post again.

Posted by: The Shelves at September 11, 2018 01:46 PM (ZGrMX)

273

Last night, after his bath, my two-year-old ripped ass loudly and then laughed so hard his little face turned red.


I bet you laughed too, dincha? After about 20 seconds you can't help it.

Posted by: BackwardsBoy at September 11, 2018 01:46 PM (HaL55)

274 I'm not a big fan of farting/fart jokes, but it's neat to consider that it's probably the one form of humor that spans every age group. From one year olds to 100 year olds, an inopportune or well-planned toot can make people laugh.

Posted by: Moron Robbie - I say monkey, you think black person, and I'm the racist? at September 11, 2018 01:46 PM (oNuis)

275 Ponce?

How about some Power Station?
https://youtu.be/Hw1t7OCESUw

Posted by: Anna Puma (HQCaR) at September 11, 2018 01:46 PM (gPuuk)

276 As I sit here ... first daydrink on the bar ... Tom T Hall on the speakers ...

... I am ready to retire. My checkbook ain't - but I am.

Posted by: ScoggDog at September 11, 2018 01:47 PM (Y2VBD)

277 because my subversion skewed all the scoring.
Posted by: kallisto at September 11, 2018 01:45 PM (DJFLF)

"I'm not racist, I just thought your kid's an asshole. And now I know for a fact that so are you."

Posted by: Warai-otoko at September 11, 2018 01:47 PM (BRvh1)

278 Eurovision winner?

Posted by: Tinfoilbaby at September 11, 2018 01:47 PM (6Ll1u)

279 Is this the fart thread?

Posted by: Le Petomaine at September 11, 2018 01:48 PM (HiLJ1)

280 Farts are funny.

Simple as that.

Posted by: SMH - Future proprietress of Bartertown at September 11, 2018 01:48 PM (z3nSX)

281 And the 1973 War Powers Act is unconstitutional.

Posted by: Archer at September 11, 2018 01:48 PM (gmo/4)

282 Posted by: kallisto at September 11, 2018 01:45 PM (DJFLF)

So, how does one go about becoming a judge for a toddler beauty pageant?Asking for some friends.

Posted by: John Podesta at September 11, 2018 01:48 PM (TUU1F)

283 >>Sen. Angus King compares Sept. 11 attacks to Russian hackers while speaking at a 9/11 Remembrance event in Lewiston, Maine.




Gah! These people love their Hitler and 9/11 comparisons. How about we let those be singular things to fully appreciate how bad they were?

Posted by: Lizzy at September 11, 2018 01:48 PM (W+vEI)

284 I blame my husband. His stupid chromosome is why we don't have a sweet little girl (or two of them).

Posted by: Mrs. Peel


I think certain positions are conducive to baby girls happening, no?
Posted by: kallisto


And puppies!
Posted by: Just The Punchline

Posted by: rickb223 at September 11, 2018 01:48 PM (rIQuo)

285 This way to the Ewok.

Posted by: P.T. Barnum at September 11, 2018 01:49 PM (7Fa8Y)

286 That's a great picture.
mac :]

Posted by: macbrooks at September 11, 2018 01:49 PM (g4/WY)

287 >>Farts are funny.


It's never not funny to light a fart.

Posted by: garrett at September 11, 2018 01:49 PM (Q5lAo)

288 Ahoy!

After we wrap up the alfresco luncheon, we'll be having cuck tryouts on the Libido Deck, - to be followed by shuffleboard on the Poop Deck, until tea time.

See you there!

Posted by: William Kristol, Editor-At-Large at September 11, 2018 01:49 PM (ANJe6)

289 And then when I went to get my check from the kiddie beauty pageant operator, I noticed she smelled and had dirty fingernails. I mean black shit embedded dirty.


I couldn't get out of there fast enough.

Posted by: kallisto at September 11, 2018 01:49 PM (DJFLF)

290 I think Naomi Osaka is a brilliant athlete with a bright future in tennis, barring injury but other than the fact that her mom is Japanese, she is no more Japenene than me. Dual citizenship (Japenese and American), lived here since 3, does not speak Japenese, trains in Fl. Her dad manages her career, much like the Williams dad. She is one tough cookie, not a wilting Asian miss.

Posted by: IC, now with extra super elite at September 11, 2018 01:49 PM (a0IVu)

291 *If you don't know about Wurst from Eurovison (IIRC?), he looks like a typical pageant contestant except for the - get this - full, black beard.
Posted by: Lizzy at September 11, 2018 01:45 PM (W+vEI)

Those pikers in the 19th c. freak shows all had "the bearded lady", having to wait for that one rare mutation to occur.

Little did they know, that "the titted dude" was a much easier and more reliable approach once the surgical techniques were sufficiently advanced.

Posted by: Warai-otoko at September 11, 2018 01:50 PM (BRvh1)

292 From one year olds to 100 year olds, an inopportune or well-planned toot can make people laugh.

(hic) almost makes me human. (shart)

Posted by: Hillary! at September 11, 2018 01:50 PM (s88c4)

293 As I sit here ... first daydrink on the bar ... Tom T Hall on the speakers ...

... I am ready to retire. My checkbook ain't - but I am.
Posted by: ScoggDog


I could make it for the first 11





minutes.

Posted by: rickb223 at September 11, 2018 01:50 PM (rIQuo)

294 Lizzy

Making those comparisons self-identify themselves as barbarians.

Posted by: NaCly Dog at September 11, 2018 01:50 PM (hyuyC)

295 Just so we're clear, science has proven that everyone is farting all the time. Only when there is a gaseous surge and we attempt to prevent it from escaping does it become a fart.

Posted by: Cliff Clavin at September 11, 2018 01:50 PM (vbJig)

296 Try us!



Kansas




No hurricanes, for sure.



Please disregard any tornadoes, squall fronts, straight-line
winds, lightning, earthquakes, biblical flooding in the river bottoms,
chiggers and authors writing "What's the Matter with Kansas?"

Posted by: NaCly Dog at September 11, 2018

*
*
I'd love a place where people actually admit to flaws in the location, instead of the unrelieved boosterism (" . . .the music . . . the food . . .") prevalent here in Swampland.

Posted by: Bart Simpson at September 11, 2018 01:50 PM (/ZWeB)

297 outfitted little son had not won, not even placed. She said we were racist!
lol, it's because my subversion skewed all the scoring.


Posted by: kallisto at September 11, 2018 01:45 PM (DJFLF)

Son?
Yeah, that sounds all messed up.
I applaud your subversion.



Posted by: Deplorable Ian Galt at September 11, 2018 01:50 PM (8iiMU)

298 So, how does one go about becoming a judge for a toddler beauty pageant?Asking for some friends.


Posted by: John Podesta at September 11, 2018 01:48 PM (TUU1F)

I could tell you but then I'd have to kill you.
*thinks*
ok, call me, I'll tell you how.

Posted by: kallisto at September 11, 2018 01:50 PM (DJFLF)

299 The Ewok is tangled in his utility belt.

Posted by: Under Fire at September 11, 2018 01:51 PM (r9UYA)

300 Stop ruining my dream that two precious little girls would be picking up all their toys, never fighting, eating everything I served them, and of course handling any and all bodily emissions with grace and aplomb. Why, I daresay I'd hardly have had to change a diaper.

(there's an episode of Dirty Jobs where Mike Rowe is at a cloth diaper cleaning facility. He looks at one particular diaper and says, "A BABY did THAT?!?" If he only knew...)

Posted by: Mrs. Peel at September 11, 2018 01:51 PM (breGG)

301 "She is one tough cookie, not a wilting Asian miss."

Wait, she cried and apologized for winning, no?
I hope what you wrote is true.
Way to set your reputation on fire, Serena.

Posted by: navybrat, in a grim mood today at September 11, 2018 01:51 PM (w7KSn)

302 I'd love a place where people actually admit to flaws in the location, instead of the unrelieved boosterism

My we send you a brochure?

Posted by: Myrtle Beach Tourist Board at September 11, 2018 01:52 PM (zCyNd)

303 Ladies, you need my latest product, Furz Oil.

While the name may seem eerily familiar, you need to look up a German to English translation of furz.

Posted by: Gwenyth P., Lifestylin' the Lifestyle at September 11, 2018 01:52 PM (ctuyM)

304 Son?
Yeah, that sounds all messed up.
I applaud your subversion.





Posted by: Deplorable Ian Galt at September 11, 2018 01:50 PM (8iiMU)

Yes, it was for both sexes. The mad mom's kid did look delightful in his little tux. But because I turned the scoring upside down, a little disheveled boy got a prize. His momma was so proud and surprised and happy!

Posted by: kallisto at September 11, 2018 01:52 PM (DJFLF)

305 Last night, after his bath, my two-year-old ripped ass loudly and then laughed so hard his little face turned red.


I bet you laughed too, dincha? After about 20 seconds you can't help it.
Posted by: BackwardsBoy



Especially the harder you try not to.

Posted by: rickb223 at September 11, 2018 01:52 PM (rIQuo)

306 Salty Dawg,

It is probably well that I do not go up the store ladder. 14 hours later I still want to walk up to the store manager and tell him "Actions speak louder than words, by your actions you have no honor. I can't trust you. You are worthless."

Or. "So how much is this store of your's worth? Oh the Air Force trusted me with an $11 million radar and troops. When I was an E-5."

"I have tried to be loyal, but loyalty is a two way street. And you have never shown anyone except certain protected/special individuals any loyalty."

Those kinds of things have been running through my mind.

Posted by: Anna Puma (HQCaR) at September 11, 2018 01:53 PM (gPuuk)

307 Farts are funny.

Simple as that.
Posted by: SMH - Future proprietress of Bartertown at September 11, 2018 01:48 PM (z3nSX)


Farts are shit without the mess!!! What's not to love?

Posted by: Sponge at September 11, 2018 01:53 PM (F4u7C)

308 Beauty contests for young kids? Skeevy. As. F***.

Jon-Benet Ramsey always comes to mind.

Posted by: Brother Cavil at September 11, 2018 01:54 PM (AM1GF)

309 And yes, of course I laughed. *After* making a cartoonishly grossed-out face that just made my 2yo laugh harder. I love my little boys :-)

Posted by: Mrs. Peel at September 11, 2018 01:54 PM (breGG)

310 -
--
Farts are funny.

It's never not funny to light a fart.



Posted by: garrett at September 11, 2018 01:49 PM

---------------------------

We're going to have to agree to disagree.


Posted by: Passengers and Crew of the Hindenburg at September 11, 2018 01:54 PM (pMGkg)

311 So I switched to awarding points if the kid's name
was the same as my mom's, or s/he looked like some child in my personal
network. Then I went subversive and started highly grading the children
who looked less groomed and put together due to not having disposable
income....
lol, it's because my subversion skewed all the scoring.


Posted by: kallisto at September 11, 2018 01:45 PM (DJFLF)


---

The bad part is when you realize that more than half of all serious events are judged this way, too.

That multi-state high school debate meet that determined who received scholarships? Yeah, those college kids judging the thing were just stoner buddies of the one student who pulled down the flier requesting judges, and the organization doesn't even bother to check at that level.

Posted by: Moron Robbie - I say monkey, you think black person, and I'm the racist? at September 11, 2018 01:55 PM (oNuis)

312 Farts are funny.
Simple as that.
Posted by: SMH

They always bring out my inner twelve-year old. Find the episode of the Drew Carey show where his friends add in fart noises to the safety film that Drew made for his company. I almost ruptured something laughing at that.

Posted by: hobbitopoly at September 11, 2018 01:55 PM (MX7xj)

313 Or. "So how much is this store of your's worth? Oh the Air Force trusted me with an $11 million radar and troops. When I was an E-5."

Should we now refer to you as "Sarge"?

Posted by: Insomniac at September 11, 2018 01:55 PM (NWiLs)

314 Stop ruining my dream that two precious little girls would be picking up all their toys, never fighting, eating everything I served them, and of course handling any and all bodily emissions with grace and aplomb. Why, I daresay I'd hardly have had to change a diaper.

---

*glances at granddaughters, who are playing that they're hunting something*

Yeah, real sweet.

Posted by: SMH - Future proprietress of Bartertown at September 11, 2018 01:55 PM (z3nSX)

315 The dance my brother did after burning his butthole was a lot funnier than actually lighting a fart.

Posted by: Meade Lux Lewis at September 11, 2018 01:55 PM (HiLJ1)

316 do farts have chunks? if not, i'm in trouble.

Posted by: Hillary! at September 11, 2018 01:55 PM (s88c4)

317 do farts have chunks? if not, i'm in trouble.

Posted by: Hillary! at September 11, 2018 01:55 PM (s88c4)
========

Me too.

Posted by: Shep! at September 11, 2018 01:56 PM (vg8iE)

318 We're going to have to agree to disagree.
Posted by: Passengers and Crew of the Hindenburg at September 11, 2018 01:54 PM (pMGkg)

I can't stop laughing. I'm an awful person.

Posted by: hobbitopoly at September 11, 2018 01:57 PM (MX7xj)

319 Piffle on that rank junk, but someone who has graduated all the USAF NCO schools and I get passed over for a Dept Manager's job at a podunk Wally World.

Posted by: Anna Puma (HQCaR) at September 11, 2018 01:57 PM (gPuuk)

320 Anna Puma (HQCaR)

Hugs and prayers. I kinda knew what you were thinking. And I KNOW you are leaving out thoughts of katanas and other blades protruding from torsos or over severed body parts. Because that mystical weapon you link to does not exist ... yet.

Just Dent, Deny, Deny. And a forklift can do a lot of damage.

May your worth get it's own recognition, as a gift of grace.

Posted by: NaCly Dog at September 11, 2018 01:57 PM (hyuyC)

321 318 We're going to have to agree to disagree.
Posted by: Passengers and Crew of the Hindenburg at September 11, 2018 01:54 PM (pMGkg)

I can't stop laughing. I'm an awful person.
Posted by: hobbitopoly at September 11, 2018 01:57 PM (MX7xj)


---

Join the club.

Posted by: SMH - Future proprietress of Bartertown at September 11, 2018 01:57 PM (z3nSX)

322 54 Good luck to all in the path of this storm.

I pray that I won't have another Katrina to deal with before I can manage to flee this pesthole for some place where HURRICANES DON'T HAPPEN.

And where the locals pave their streets and allow left turns at major intersections.
Posted by: Wolfus Aurelius at September 11, 2018 01:13 PM (/ZWeB)

You could move to California. No hurricanes. Droughts, mudslides, forest fires, earthquakes and Jerry Brown, but no hurricanes. Come on down (or over)!

Posted by: P.T. Barnum at September 11, 2018 01:57 PM (7Fa8Y)

323 319 Piffle on that rank junk, but someone who has graduated all the USAF NCO schools and I get passed over for a Dept Manager's job at a podunk Wally World.
Posted by: Anna Puma (HQCaR) at September 11, 2018 01:57 PM (gPuuk)

Yeah, that's got to stick in your craw.

Posted by: Insomniac at September 11, 2018 01:58 PM (NWiLs)

324 Posted by: Brother Cavil at September 11, 2018 01:54 PM (AM1GF)
Yes, my foray into that weird world was before the JonBenet episode. The contestants were nowhere as tarted up as that poor child and her peers.

Posted by: kallisto at September 11, 2018 01:58 PM (DJFLF)

325

Can you imagine all the fun that was had by the team who worked on early versions of high-resolution infrared imaging?


Posted by: BackwardsBoy at September 11, 2018 01:58 PM (HaL55)

326 Piffle on that rank junk, but someone who has graduated all the USAF NCO schools and I get passed over for a Dept Manager's job at a podunk Wally World.

Posted by: Anna Puma (HQCaR)


I can think of a thousand reasons that happens, none good, all teeth-grindingly common.

Posted by: Brother Cavil at September 11, 2018 01:58 PM (AM1GF)

327
Oh, I forgot. He usually does not read the comments.
Posted by: NaCly Dog at September 11, 2018 01:43 PM (hyuyC)






Hell, he doesn't even read his own blog.

Posted by: IllTemperedCur at September 11, 2018 01:59 PM (eXA4G)

328 "Actions speak louder than words, by your actions you have no honor. I can't trust you. I should kill you where you stand!
Posted by: Anna Puma (HQCaR) at September 11, 2018 01:53 PM


Suggested edit.

Posted by: Worf, son of Mogh-en David at September 11, 2018 01:59 PM (ctuyM)

329 Why should I damage anything, two of the special guys are already safety accidents waiting to happen because they like to play around while on the power equipment.

Posted by: Anna Puma (HQCaR) at September 11, 2018 01:59 PM (gPuuk)

330 Yes, my foray into that weird world was before the JonBenet episode. The contestants were nowhere as tarted up as that poor child and her peers.
Posted by: kallisto at September 11, 2018 01:58 PM (DJFLF)

I think the whole thing is seriously fucked up. Even before they started making 5-year-old girls look like painted whores.

Posted by: Insomniac at September 11, 2018 01:59 PM (NWiLs)

331 Oh, I forgot. He usually does not read the comments.
Posted by: NaCly Dog

Hell, he doesn't even read his own blog.
Posted by: IllTemperedCur


Dude banned himself.

And he runs the joint.

Banned. Himself.

Posted by: Brother Cavil at September 11, 2018 02:00 PM (AM1GF)

332 326 Piffle on that rank junk, but someone who has graduated all the USAF NCO schools and I get passed over for a Dept Manager's job at a podunk Wally World.

Posted by: Anna Puma (HQCaR)

I can think of a thousand reasons that happens, none good, all teeth-grindingly common.
Posted by: Brother Cavil at September 11, 2018 01:58 PM (AM1GF)

Yep.

Posted by: Insomniac at September 11, 2018 02:00 PM (NWiLs)

333 Dude banned himself.



And he runs the joint.



Banned. Himself.

Posted by: Brother Cavil at September 11, 2018 02:00 PM (AM1GF)

A man's got to know his limitations.

Posted by: Harry, Dirty at September 11, 2018 02:00 PM (8iiMU)

334 323 319 Piffle on that rank junk, but someone who has graduated all the USAF NCO schools and I get passed over for a Dept Manager's job at a podunk Wally World.
Posted by: Anna Puma (HQCaR)

It happens. More than you think. I don't have time to tell you how I know.

Personnel is Policy. Too many Leftists will not hire more qualified people, because we are the evil ones. **Spits**

Posted by: NaCly Dog at September 11, 2018 02:01 PM (hyuyC)

335 323 319 Piffle on that rank junk, but someone who has graduated all the USAF NCO schools and I get passed over for a Dept Manager's job at a podunk Wally World.
Posted by: Anna Puma (HQCaR) at September 11, 2018 01:57 PM (gPuuk)

Yeah, that's got to stick in your craw.
Posted by: Insomniac at September 11, 2018 01:58 PM (NWiLs)


Been there.

Ran the entire Electronics Section for a Destroyer... 30 Men working for me..

And ran it successfully for years.


But to sillyvilians, that doesn't mean anything because they cannot even comprehend what that entails... so it can actually end up being a NEGATIVE thing on your resume.

Posted by: Don Quixote at September 11, 2018 02:01 PM (NgKpN)

336 14 hours later I still want to walk up to the store manager and tell him "Actions speak louder than words, by your actions you have no honor. I can't trust you. You are worthless."

And now my image of you has changed from neko-girl to Klingon warrioress.

Posted by: Mary Poppins' Practically Perfect Piercing at September 11, 2018 02:02 PM (kqsXK)

337
Oh, I forgot. He usually does not read the comments.

Posted by: NaCly Dog



Hell, he doesn't even read his own blog.

Posted by: IllTemperedCur



Dude banned himself.



And he runs the joint.



Banned. Himself.

Posted by: Brother Cavil at September 11, 2018 02:00 PM (AM1GF)


All part of the AoSHQ experience and lifestyle. Quite charming!

Posted by: Count de Monet at September 11, 2018 02:02 PM (QLvwG)

338 Anna Puma there forgets the Borgia method wrt advancement. Sad.

Posted by: Your Decidedly Devious Uncle Palpatine, GECSPLAN, SMR and Ancient Slavonaut Newsletters at September 11, 2018 02:02 PM (fA1SL)

339 If I brought in some of my deployment photos, the owner would probably have the vapors.

"Yeah, that's me holding the front end of a 22ft long anaconda. The locals were busy throwing live chickens into the pond just to watch the crocodiles eat."

Posted by: Anna Puma (HQCaR) at September 11, 2018 02:02 PM (gPuuk)

340 Piffle on that rank junk, but someone who has graduated all the USAF NCO schools and I get passed over for a Dept Manager's job at a podunk Wally World.

Posted by: Anna Puma (HQCaR) at September 11, 2018 01:57 PM


If only you knew someone handy with a shiv with time on their hands while not homeschooling.

Posted by: Forgot My Nic at September 11, 2018 02:02 PM (LOgQ4)

341 In the style of the Downfall parodies, there is a Hitler Rage parody channel on YouTube, where one at a time, everyone in the room interrupts Hitler with their farts.

Posted by: fly gal at September 11, 2018 02:02 PM (8TdcF)

342 Had a 9+ year job where the "buddy system" was the bane of my existence. Joint was corrupt top to bottom. Tried to fight it in my own way, but honestly, I should have bailed years before I did and gone back to school, instead of waiting until the joint imploded. I'd be much better off today.

Guess I'm just a glutton for punishment. And frustration. And...

Posted by: Brother Cavil at September 11, 2018 02:03 PM (AM1GF)

343 339.
'But enough about my time in Florida'

Posted by: Your Decidedly Devious Uncle Palpatine, GECSPLAN, SMR and Ancient Slavonaut Newsletters at September 11, 2018 02:03 PM (fA1SL)

344 >>Dude banned himself.



>And he runs the joint.



>Banned. Himself.


You can't say he didn't deserve it, though.

Posted by: garrett at September 11, 2018 02:03 PM (Q5lAo)

345 It happens. More than you think. I don't have time to tell you how I know.

Personnel is Policy. Too many Leftists will not hire more qualified people, because we are the evil ones. **Spits**
Posted by: NaCly Dog at September 11, 2018 02:01 PM (hyuyC)


Its also true that they do not want to promote you to the point where you might be competing for THEIR job.


Been there... did that too... was turned down for a job because I had TOO much management experience.... and those already in management felt threatened.

Posted by: Don Quixote at September 11, 2018 02:03 PM (NgKpN)

346 332 326 Piffle on that rank junk, but someone who has graduated all the USAF NCO schools and I get passed over for a Dept Manager's job at a podunk Wally World.

Posted by: Anna Puma (HQCaR)

I can think of a thousand reasons that happens, none good, all teeth-grindingly common.
Posted by: Brother Cavil at September 11, 2018 01:58 PM (AM1GF)

Yep.
Posted by: Insomniac at September 11, 2018 02:00 PM (NWiLs)


I'm in that club as well.

Posted by: WitchDoktor, AKA VA GOP Sucks at September 11, 2018 02:04 PM (PFy0L)

347 In the style of the Downfall parodies, there is a Hitler Rage parody channel on YouTube, where one at a time, everyone in the room interrupts Hitler with their farts.
Posted by: fly gal at September 11, 2018 02:02 PM (8TdcF)


Saw one the other day where Hitler found out that Michael Jackson was dead and he was pissed off because he had invited Michael to his birthday party and was looking forward to it.

Posted by: Sponge at September 11, 2018 02:04 PM (F4u7C)

348 Forgot My Nic

Ssshh. NSA Bob is listening.

Posted by: NaCly Dog at September 11, 2018 02:04 PM (hyuyC)

349 Piffle on that rank junk, but someone who has graduated all the USAF NCO schools and I get passed over for a Dept Manager's job at a podunk Wally World.


Posted by: Anna Puma (HQCaR) at September 11, 2018 01:57 PM (gPuuk)


**hugs Anna**

**pushes bottle of Veuve Cliquot through USB port**

Posted by: Mary Poppins' Practically Perfect Piercing at September 11, 2018 02:04 PM (kqsXK)

350 You know who else was always funny?

Posted by: garrett at September 11, 2018 02:04 PM (Q5lAo)

351 Have you looked at a Atlantic satellite map? There are 2 more hurricanes behind Florence. One is huge. And also 2 in the Pacific

Posted by: Big swingin Al at September 11, 2018 02:04 PM (vqmF1)

352 Beauty contests for young kids? Skeevy. As. F***.

Jon-Benet Ramsey always comes to mind.
Posted by: Brother Cavil



Honey Boo Boo.

Posted by: rickb223 at September 11, 2018 02:05 PM (rIQuo)

353 Anna, have you considered a kinder, gentler approach?

Uncle Palpatine has a Brony or two he might lend you for a consultation.

Posted by: Duncanthrax at September 11, 2018 02:05 PM (ctuyM)

354

I'm in that club as well.


We are legion.

Posted by: BackwardsBoy at September 11, 2018 02:05 PM (HaL55)

355 169 [Then delivered he himself of such a godless and rock-shivering blast
that all were fain to stop their ears, and following it did come so dense
and foul a stink that that which went before did seem a poor and trifling
thing beside it. Then saith he, feigning that he blushed and was
confused, I perceive that I am weak to-day, and cannot justice do unto my
powers; and sat him down as who should say, There, it is not much yet he
that hath an arse to spare, let him fellow that, an' he think he can. By
God, an' I were ye queene, I would e'en tip this swaggering braggart out
o' the court, and let him air his grandeurs and break his intolerable
wind before ye deaf and such as suffocation pleaseth.]
Posted by: Miklos, team player at September 11, 2018 01:30 PM (zCyNd)

That is fcukin poetry! My hat is off to your eloquence and good taste.

Posted by: Bonecrusher at September 11, 2018 02:05 PM (JNTt1)

356 Have you looked at a Atlantic satellite map? There are 2 more hurricanes behind Florence. One is huge. And also 2 in the Pacific

Posted by: Big swingin Al


Eh. Isaac doesn't look like it will amount to much, and Helene's due to turn north and fuck off in the middle of the Atlantic.

That disturbance in the Gulf, that I'm watching closely.

Posted by: Brother Cavil at September 11, 2018 02:06 PM (AM1GF)

357 Unless the school has been pretty rigorous about keeping administrative bloat and costs down there is going to a shaking out in higher ed that will be a cannibal's feast. The small schools and the mid-sized ones are going to go down hard.
Posted by: Sahib Mikey's Safari

There is no way that group of libs kept the admin bloat under control.

Posted by: Jean at September 11, 2018 02:06 PM (j0Mw7)

358 2
Heh. Funny meme.
4
So, to be stomped by the 100th comment?


Apparently not.

Posted by: Off the reservation at September 11, 2018 02:06 PM (vWMNq)

359 Down here in Houston someone choked the monkey

Posted by: rhennigantx at September 11, 2018 02:06 PM (JFO2v)

360 I always enjoyed the one where I'm good enough to act in the extended absence of my boss or in the interim three months after he retires, but I'm not hired after applying for his spot because then my current position would suffer since none of the other employees at my level gave a crap about their jobs or accomplished half of what I did.

Yeah, I moved on soon after.

Posted by: Moron Robbie - I say monkey, you think black person, and I'm the racist? at September 11, 2018 02:06 PM (oNuis)

361 https://tinyurl.com/y8prjtuy

Posted by: Xipe Totec at September 11, 2018 02:06 PM (xP7rZ)

362 353. If nothing else, it's immensely satisfying to just beat the shit outta them.

Posted by: Your Decidedly Devious Uncle Palpatine, GECSPLAN, SMR and Ancient Slavonaut Newsletters at September 11, 2018 02:06 PM (fA1SL)

363 354

I'm in that club as well.


We are legion.
Posted by: BackwardsBoy at September 11, 2018 02:05 PM (HaL55)


We are... SPARTACUS!!!!! wait... Sparticuses? Spartici???

shit...

Posted by: Don Quixote at September 11, 2018 02:06 PM (NgKpN)

364 "319 Piffle on that rank junk, but someone who has graduated all the USAF NCO schools and I get passed over for a Dept Manager's job at a podunk Wally World.
Posted by: Anna Puma (HQCaR) "

Zoomie prejudice. Seen it before.

Posted by: Marcus T at September 11, 2018 02:06 PM (k4Tuv)

365 Yesterday we discussed fried chicken. Today it's farts.

I love this smart military blog.

(Seriously, I do.)

Posted by: moki at September 11, 2018 02:07 PM (mFoNl)

366 Anna Puma there forgets the Borgia method wrt advancement. Sad.
Posted by: Your Decidedly Devious Uncle Palpatine


Gut cow orkers and stuff their bodies into the trash compactor?

Posted by: rickb223 at September 11, 2018 02:07 PM (rIQuo)

367
You could move to California. No hurricanes. Droughts, mudslides, forest fires, earthquakes and Jerry Brown, but no hurricanes. Come on down (or over)!
Posted by: P.T. Barnum at September 11, 2018 01:57 PM (7Fa8Y)







Funny thing is, Gov Moonbeam is the more horrific of those disasters.

Posted by: IllTemperedCur at September 11, 2018 02:07 PM (eXA4G)

368 Now that Ace is 29, maybe we should get him a 'Life Alert'?

Posted by: garrett at September 11, 2018 02:07 PM (Q5lAo)

369 For straight "manage people" positions ... US Military NCO is about as good as it gets. At least it was in my day.

I was only enlisted. Our Officers were suspect. Our NCOs were usually pretty good.

The ones I liked always acknowledged the shit-sandwich of which we would partake ... and made it fun with that sarcastic humor shit.

Posted by: ScoggDog at September 11, 2018 02:07 PM (Y2VBD)

370
Have you looked at a Atlantic satellite map? There are 2 more hurricanes behind Florence. One is huge. And also 2 in the Pacific

Posted by: Big swingin Al at September 11, 2018 02:04 PM


If I remember correctly 'hurricane season' runs until the end of October. We're only approaching half-time.

Posted by: Forgot My Nic at September 11, 2018 02:07 PM (LOgQ4)

371 362 353. If nothing else, it's immensely satisfying to just beat the shit outta them.

Posted by: Your Decidedly Devious Uncle Palpatine, GECSPLAN, SMR and Ancient Slavonaut Newsletters


What, nobody does divination using the entrails of bronies any more?

Posted by: Brother Cavil at September 11, 2018 02:07 PM (AM1GF)

372 'Help!'

'I've fasted for 5 Days and can't get up!!'

Posted by: garrett at September 11, 2018 02:08 PM (Q5lAo)

373 We are... SPARTACUS!!!!! wait... Sparticuses? Spartici???



shit...

Posted by: Don Quixote at September 11, 2018 02:06 PM (NgKpN)

Spartacae for the 'ettes.

Posted by: Deplorable Ian Galt at September 11, 2018 02:08 PM (8iiMU)

374 If you're not a veteran, you're resume shouldn't darken my door.

Posted by: Marcus T at September 11, 2018 02:08 PM (k4Tuv)

375 Yesterday we discussed fried chicken. Today it's farts.

I love this smart military blog.

(Seriously, I do.)
Posted by: moki


And I just finished last night's leftover Popeyes fried chicken and now am farting red beans & rice.

Posted by: rickb223 at September 11, 2018 02:08 PM (rIQuo)

376 Illegals have stolen/used 39 million SS numbers

http://tinyurl.com/yd5fwbzd

Posted by: McCool at September 11, 2018 02:08 PM (WXSv6)

377 199 Last night, after his bath, my two-year-old ripped ass loudly and then laughed so hard his little face turned red.



I blame my husband. His stupid chromosome is why we don't have a sweet little girl (or two of them).

Posted by: Mrs. Peel at September 11, 2018 01:35 PM (breGG)
They are hilarious when they figure out their farts are funny. Then it is game on with them trying to fart on you, drop ass anonymously and disclaim responsibility, etc. Kids are awesome.

Posted by: flounderbot, rebel, vulgarian, deplorabot, winner at September 11, 2018 02:08 PM (5jVnA)

378 Yesterday we discussed fried chicken. Today it's farts.
Posted by: moki at September 11, 2018 02:07 PM


If you've ever eaten one of those Air Force 'in-flight' box lunches, you understand the connection.

Posted by: Duncanthrax at September 11, 2018 02:08 PM (ctuyM)

379 Don Quixote

Happened to me recently. I was the best qualified candidate, by far. Relevant experience, track record. Etc.

You should have seen those school administrators's jaws tightened when I mentioned we could save money. That and being Chairman of the Constitution Bee efforts, lost me that job.

Oh, and not being their Leftist mole candidate that allowed and encouraged corruption. She did have watermelon-sized boobs from plastic surgery, so she had that over me.


I talked to FenelonSpoke about it. I was doing a little better afterwards.

Posted by: NaCly Dog at September 11, 2018 02:09 PM (hyuyC)

380 What really irks me is not who got the job since I figure she'll pull it off. But it is going to be a steep learning curve for her since she has only been on the job less than a year.

It is who she is related to. Her aunt has the personality of a belt sander with hiccups. She belittles everyone, tries to micromanage things, and is frankly incompetent. But she is black, female, and has already gone over the owner's head to corporate HR to land and keep her current job.

So the niece probably got the job just so the owner can avoid any accusations of indirect reprisal.

Posted by: Anna Puma (HQCaR) at September 11, 2018 02:09 PM (gPuuk)

381 335 323 319 Piffle on that rank junk, but someone who has graduated all the USAF NCO schools and I get passed over for a Dept Manager's job at a podunk Wally World.
Posted by: Anna Puma (HQCaR) at September 11, 2018 01:57 PM (gPuuk)

Yeah, that's got to stick in your craw.
Posted by: Insomniac at September 11, 2018 01:58 PM (NWiLs)


Been there.

Ran the entire Electronics Section for a Destroyer... 30 Men working for me..

And ran it successfully for years.


But to sillyvilians, that doesn't mean anything because they cannot even comprehend what that entails... so it can actually end up being a NEGATIVE thing on your resume.
Posted by: Don Quixote at September 11, 2018 02:01 PM (NgKpN)

Tat's because every good progressive knows that military members spent all their time in the service killing babies and brown people. You can't escape that shit.


Posted by: West at September 11, 2018 02:09 PM (7Fa8Y)

382 Dude banned himself.

And he runs the joint.

Banned. Himself.

Posted by: Brother Cavil at September 11, 2018 02:00 PM (AM1GF)


Google, FaceBook and Twitter could learn a thing or two from ace.

Posted by: ThePrimordialOrderedPair at September 11, 2018 02:09 PM (w0IWw)

383 On this anniversary of 9/11, I think it would be appropriate to carpet bomb the middle east with photoshops of Alec Baldwin rubbing a Koran all over his ass. Next year, if I'm president, I will use special forces to airdrop a drugged Lena Dunham over Mecca, then post pics of her dry humping the Kabaa all over Facebook.

Posted by: Kate Winslet's boobs at September 11, 2018 02:09 PM (+K+vL)

384 Stop ruining my dream that two precious little girls would be picking up all their toys, never fighting, eating everything I served them, and of course handling any and all bodily emissions with grace and aplomb. Why, I daresay I'd hardly have had to change a diaper.

-------

You never had any little girl friends when you were growing up.

Posted by: Sahib Mikey's Safari Adventure & Clubbing Extravaganza is now stocked and open! at September 11, 2018 02:10 PM (hLRSq)

385 We are legion.
Posted by: BackwardsBoy at September 11, 2018 02:05 PM (HaL55)

---

*nods*

Posted by: SMH - Future proprietress of Bartertown at September 11, 2018 02:10 PM (z3nSX)

386 376 Illegals have stolen/used 39 million SS numbers

http://tinyurl.com/yd5fwbzd
Posted by: McCool at September 11, 2018 02:08 PM (WXSv6)


but really, theres only 11 million illegals here...


Trust us...

Posted by: Your Government betters. at September 11, 2018 02:10 PM (NgKpN)

387
And I just finished last night's leftover Popeyes fried chicken and now am farting red beans & rice.
Posted by: rickb223 at September 11, 2018 02:08 PM (rIQuo)

See? The melding of the two. This place is awesome!

Anna, my heart goes out to you. Competence/excellence is not always justly rewarded. Hugs, lemon bars and hope for a better position for you soon sent your way.

Posted by: moki at September 11, 2018 02:11 PM (mFoNl)

388 371. That kinda heresy is what makes for streets full of shambling undead and regular raids by werebears.
Bronys are to be clubbed with rifle butts,dragooned into canal-duty, and, when yhe work is over, and their minds are right, given the bullet.

Posted by: Your Decidedly Devious Uncle Palpatine, GECSPLAN, SMR and Ancient Slavonaut Newsletters at September 11, 2018 02:12 PM (fA1SL)

389 So the niece probably got the job just so the owner can avoid any accusations of indirect reprisal.

Posted by: Anna Puma (HQCaR) at September 11, 2018 02:09 PM


Sometimes it comes in handy to have a grandmother who places you squarely in the minority check box. Even if you aren't.

Posted by: Elizabeth Warren at September 11, 2018 02:12 PM (LOgQ4)

390 Watch the video on the Daily Caller from the rancher in Arizona. He hid some trails cams that show a bunch of illegals crossing the border illegally since 2016. Almost all are wearing camo, some have horses and some are carrying AK's and what looks like HK91's. It's the same ranch where a BPA was shot.

Posted by: Marcus T at September 11, 2018 02:14 PM (k4Tuv)

391 364 "319 Piffle on that rank junk, but someone who has graduated all the USAF NCO schools and I get passed over for a Dept Manager's job at a podunk Wally World.
Posted by: Anna Puma (HQCaR) "

Zoomie prejudice. Seen it before.
Posted by: Marcus T

Maybe if you had been in the military.

~hides under desk~

Posted by: wrg500 Manatee bounty hunter at September 11, 2018 02:15 PM (Bdeb0)

392 51 Sunday night football ratings were down 9% from 2017.
Still not enough
-----------------------
It was a spectacularly ugly game. When you make the Jets look great you are a horrible football team. So much for Belichek's protégé's

Posted by: Puddin Head at September 11, 2018 02:15 PM (2LelM)

393 Anna Puma, how locked in are you geographically? Because with your mad skills there are a lot of places you could shine.

This is a good time to peak out of the trenches and fly.

Posted by: NaCly Dog at September 11, 2018 02:16 PM (hyuyC)

394 2pm Weather Underground tracking map shows southern NC getting direct hit at Cat 3, but then taking a somewhat southern turn as the storm peters out.

https://tinyurl.com/y7prkcjt

Posted by: kallisto at September 11, 2018 02:16 PM (DJFLF)

395 Posted by: Anna Puma (HQCaR) at September 11, 2018 02:09 PM (gPuuk)

Your journey through the festering cesspool of modern retail sounds a lot like mine. I left a rare full-tine job at a grocery store about a decade ago after getting passed over for a flagrantly racist diversity hire.

Do what I did, stop selling yourself short and giving your best years to a job that only sees you as a renewable resource to be squeezed dry and cast aside.

Get out of there and do literally anything else. I may be close to the bottom of the IT totem pole, but my pay and quality of life are so much better it's unreal.

Posted by: Cato by Phone at September 11, 2018 02:16 PM (J+mig)

396 Are we back on farts?

Not complaining, just trying to keep up.

Posted by: Mark Andrew Edwards at September 11, 2018 02:16 PM (bcbK8)

397 I actually didn't. My sister is six years older than I am, and I was the kind of kid who preferred reading and playing quietly in my room. I never spent time around small children until I had my own - I had held a baby for a grand total of maybe 5 minutes across all babies held in the 28 years before I had my first.

I sometimes miss my bachelorette days, when I could go dancing if I felt like it or have a quiet, solitary evening at home if I felt like it, but if there's one thing kids do, it's make you grow.

Posted by: Mrs. Peel at September 11, 2018 02:16 PM (breGG)

398 Illegals have stolen/used 39 million SS numbers

---

Yep. If you don't count the actual crimes they commit, they're a very law-abiding bunch. *spit*

Let's disregard that it's been happening since the 11M days of the early 80s and just pretend it's only been one year.

Let's see, 39M for 365 days...

14,235,000,000

14 billion felonies, and that's just accounting for the one SS kind. That doesn't count falsifying green cards and what-not.

Posted by: Moron Robbie - I say monkey, you think black person, and I'm the racist? at September 11, 2018 02:17 PM (oNuis)

399 All right clowns. No picking on Air Force.

Posted by: Marcus T at September 11, 2018 02:17 PM (k4Tuv)

400 That is fcukin poetry! My hat is off to your eloquence and good taste.

Posted by: Bonecrusher at September 11, 2018 02:05 PM (JNTt1)

That is from "1601" by Samuel Langhorne Clemens.

Posted by: Miklos, with proper attribution at September 11, 2018 02:17 PM (zCyNd)

401 Tat's because every good progressive knows that military members spent all their time in the service killing babies and brown people. You can't escape that shit.


Posted by: West

Hell, that and Tri-Care were the reason we only hired vets

Posted by: Jean at September 11, 2018 02:17 PM (j0Mw7)

402 Posted by: Anna Puma (HQCaR) "

Zoomie prejudice. Seen it before.
Posted by: Marcus T

Maybe if you had been in the military.
Posted by: wrg500 Manatee bounty hunter at September 11, 2018 02:15 PM (Bdeb0)


Come on Dude ... Airmen will defend Steak Night at the Dining Facility to the death ... same as any soldier.

Posted by: ScoggDog at September 11, 2018 02:17 PM (Y2VBD)

403 396 We never seem too get off farts these days...

Posted by: steevy at September 11, 2018 02:17 PM (mCMQ5)

404 Watch the video on the Daily Caller from the rancher in Arizona. He hid some trails cams that show a bunch of illegals crossing the border illegally since 2016. Almost all are wearing camo, some have horses and some are carrying AK's and what looks like HK91's. It's the same ranch where a BPA was shot.
Posted by: Marcus T


Empty handed? Call BP.
They carry weapons? Shoot, shovel, shut up.

Posted by: rickb223 at September 11, 2018 02:18 PM (rIQuo)

405 Mark Andrew Edwards

We are trying to ship a gross of shivs to Anna Puma without NSA Bob noticing.

**Waves**

Posted by: NaCly Dog at September 11, 2018 02:18 PM (hyuyC)

406 Okay.

I want to tell you all today that contrary to the established rules of society, I went through the express lane at Trader Joe's with 24 items, even though the limit os 20.

Twenty-four items.

Who's a rebel?

Suck it, Donald Trump!

Posted by: Corey Booker at September 11, 2018 02:18 PM (vbJig)

407 Actually Marcus, my first unit was in ACC. A ground radar unit. We were supposed to live in the field, direct air strikes and intercepts, and protect ourselves far from any fixed facilities. Which is how I ended up in SouthCom in the rain forest with the anacondas and the drug lords. Step off the C-130, get handed an M-16 and flak-jacket, and be assigned to a fighting position.

Posted by: Anna Puma (HQCaR) at September 11, 2018 02:18 PM (gPuuk)

408 Remember, don't beat yourself up just because you fart. It's not your fault. If anyone lashes out at you, you can say, "It wasn't me, it was the bacteria".

Posted by: Steve and Cold Bear at September 11, 2018 02:18 PM (/qEW2)

409 Corey Booker

You learned to count in a public school, right?

Posted by: NaCly Dog at September 11, 2018 02:19 PM (hyuyC)

410 Let's see, 39M for 365 days...

14,235,000,000

14 billion felonies, and that's just accounting for the one SS kind. That doesn't count falsifying green cards and what-not.
Posted by: Moron Robbie

Paycheck every two weeks = mail fraud. 5yrs Federal Time for EACH offense

Posted by: Jean at September 11, 2018 02:19 PM (j0Mw7)

411 That kinda heresy is what makes for streets full of shambling undead and regular raids by werebears.

Speaking of:

Me to wife, it's very early: "And so it begins..."
Wife: "What begins?"
Me: "The zombie apocalypse."

There in front of us, crossing the street in what could only be described as a disorganized shuffle, is a guy with the tattered clothing, the long beard, his hands slightly in front of him.

My wife is not one to laugh at another's misfortune but she busted a gut laughing. Dude looked right out of central casting, zombie division.

Posted by: Forgot My Nic at September 11, 2018 02:19 PM (LOgQ4)

412
My cousin, the retired NWS meteorologist keeps up with all this stuff and provides us all with his forecasts all the time. He's getting a little worried about Florence for us here in the Upstate, SC.

The models now have it turning down when it hits the coast and coming more over us.

He still thinks it won't be too bad, but it's going to be worse than he first thought.

Like I said yesterday, I'm getting a Hugo feel about this bitch.

Posted by: publius, Rascally Rapscallion of a Poperin Pear at September 11, 2018 02:20 PM (8O3HH)

413 Sorry, and that's on the employer shipping the check/tax reports

Posted by: Jean at September 11, 2018 02:20 PM (j0Mw7)

414 Dork reporters are on the beach doing stories about Florence.

Posted by: Deplorable Ian Galt at September 11, 2018 02:20 PM (8iiMU)

415 405 Mark Andrew Edwards

We are trying to ship a gross of shivs to Anna Puma without NSA Bob noticing.

**Waves**
Posted by: NaCly Dog at September 11, 2018 02:18 PM (hyuyC)

I'm in.

I have enough spare metal around the place I can donate some to our favorite otaku.

Posted by: Mark Andrew Edwards at September 11, 2018 02:20 PM (bcbK8)

416 Posted by: Mrs. Peel at September 11, 2018 02:16 PM (breGG)


Wow. So seeing video of my nieces in action would probably crush what ever illusions you still have.

Posted by: Sahib Mikey's Safari Adventure & Clubbing Extravaganza is now stocked and open! at September 11, 2018 02:20 PM (hLRSq)

417 Well if Hurricane Progressive washes those reporters out to sea and the rip currents... should we mourn?

Posted by: Anna Puma (HQCaR) at September 11, 2018 02:21 PM (gPuuk)

418 Like I said yesterday, I'm getting a Hugo feel about this bitch.

Posted by: publius, Rascally Rapscallion of a Poperin Pear at September 11, 2018 02:20 PM (8O3HH)

Ditto from central SC.

Posted by: Miklos, laying in supplies at September 11, 2018 02:21 PM (zCyNd)

419 My cousin, the retired NWS meteorologist keeps up with all this stuff and provides us all with his forecasts all the time. He's getting a little worried about Florence for us here in the Upstate, SC.

--

We're in the upstate, too. As is BignJames. I've been trying to follow where this thing is headed, but I don't think we're gonna escape some hefty winds.

Posted by: Lady in Black - Death to the Man Bun and Rolled Up Man Pants at September 11, 2018 02:21 PM (mQ0Mc)

420 417. Nope. Just set the crab pots and call iy good.

Posted by: Your Decidedly Devious Uncle Palpatine, GECSPLAN, SMR and Ancient Slavonaut Newsletters at September 11, 2018 02:22 PM (fA1SL)

421 Batten down your hatches, all those who live in Lindsey's fiefdom....



Posted by: Deplorable Ian Galt at September 11, 2018 02:22 PM (8iiMU)

422 403 396 We never seem too get off farts these days...
Posted by: steevy at September 11, 2018 02:17 PM (mCMQ5)

You have to sniff 'em when they are fresh to get off on 'em.

Keep trying.

Posted by: West at September 11, 2018 02:23 PM (7Fa8Y)

423 You know what?

Screw you guys.

I'm feelin' it.

I'm going home right now and tearing off all the labels from my pillows.

"Do Not Remove Under Penalty of Law"?

Watch me.

Posted by: Corey Booker at September 11, 2018 02:23 PM (vbJig)

424 Okay, everyone in the Carolinas on the count of three fart in Hurricane Progressive's direction.

Posted by: Anna Puma (HQCaR) at September 11, 2018 02:24 PM (gPuuk)

425 Paycheck every two weeks = mail fraud. 5yrs Federal Time for EACH offense


--

Every day worked in the United States without authorization is a federal crime.

Other than those two to three trillion felonies and federal crimes since the 80s, the 11 million illegals are law abiding, though.

Posted by: Moron Robbie - I say monkey, you think black person, and I'm the racist? at September 11, 2018 02:24 PM (oNuis)

426 Hurricanes are Trump's fault because he refuses to fight climate change!
What we will hear from the media

Posted by: steevy at September 11, 2018 02:24 PM (mCMQ5)

427 Watch me.

Posted by: Corey Booker at September 11, 2018 02:23 PM (vbJig)

Yo, man, T-Bone got serious time for that, rite?

Posted by: Miklos, expressing concern at September 11, 2018 02:24 PM (zCyNd)

428 "Actually Marcus, my first unit was in ACC. A ground radar unit. We were supposed to live in the field, direct air strikes and intercepts, and protect ourselves far from any fixed facilities. Which is how I ended up in SouthCom in the rain forest with the anacondas and the drug lords. Step off the C-130, get handed an M-16 and flak-jacket, and be assigned to a fighting position."

57th FWw

Posted by: Marcus T at September 11, 2018 02:25 PM (k4Tuv)

429 403
396 We never seem too get off farts these days...

Posted by: steevy at September 11, 2018 02:17 PM (mCMQ5)

I don't think the lovely Trish Regan is capable of farting.
She's in her puritan outfit (black sweater with a frilly collar) today.

Posted by: anchorbabe fashion cop at September 11, 2018 02:25 PM (8iiMU)

430 Have fun storming the castle. Back to work.

Posted by: NaCly Dog at September 11, 2018 02:25 PM (hyuyC)

431 Watch the video on the Daily Caller from the rancher in Arizona. He hid some trails cams that show a bunch of illegals crossing the border illegally since 2016. Almost all are wearing camo, some have horses and some are carrying AK's and what looks like HK91's. It's the same ranch where a BPA was shot.
Posted by: Marcus T


Empty handed? Call BP.
They carry weapons? Shoot, shovel, shut up.
Posted by: rickb223

Hopefully those are JSOC teams coming back from forward disruption ops, but probably not

Posted by: Jean at September 11, 2018 02:25 PM (j0Mw7)

432 An ESPN headline that just popped up:
Lack of support for Serena ump irks officials

Huh! This is how you get Naomi!

Posted by: t-bird at September 11, 2018 02:25 PM (VP1E6)

433 How do they get the light to stop when there's no clouds? Huh? Huh?

Posted by: Dr_No at September 11, 2018 02:26 PM (imDUY)

434 We've got the 'Florence is Trump's Katrina"
stories ready to go !

Posted by: MSM at September 11, 2018 02:26 PM (WXSv6)

435 404 Watch the video on the Daily Caller from the rancher in Arizona. He hid some trails cams that show a bunch of illegals crossing the border illegally since 2016. Almost all are wearing camo, some have horses and some are carrying AK's and what looks like HK91's. It's the same ranch where a BPA was shot.
Posted by: Marcus T


Empty handed? Call BP.
They carry weapons? Shoot, shovel, shut up.
---------------
What you want to know is the one's traveling south across the border. They be carrying cash. Then shoot, loot, don't bother digging let the coyotes feast and get the fuck out of Dodge cuz nothing pissess off a Mex than losing his cash.

Posted by: Puddin Head at September 11, 2018 02:26 PM (2LelM)

436 We've got the 'Florence is Trump's Katrina"
stories ready to go !

Posted by: MSM at September 11, 2018 02:26 PM (WXSv6)

Damn! I could get koi in my alligator pond!

Posted by: Miklos, expressing real concern at September 11, 2018 02:27 PM (zCyNd)

437
The problem with a stalled hurricane is the rain. Day one the ground absorbs some huge percentage of the total. Day two that does not happen and problems appear in a lot of places. Day three is a nightmare of epic proportions. No one can get anywhere unless it's in a truck with super high ground clearance.

Posted by: Forgot My Nic at September 11, 2018 02:27 PM (LOgQ4)

438 Actually Marcus, my first unit was in ACC. A ground radar unit. We were supposed to live in the field, direct air strikes and intercepts, and protect ourselves far from any fixed facilities. Which is how I ended up in SouthCom in the rain forest with the anacondas and the drug lords. Step off the C-130, get handed an M-16 and flak-jacket, and be assigned to a fighting position."

57th FWw
Posted by: Marcus

The combat controller community showed up big time at Chapman's ceremony.

Posted by: Jean at September 11, 2018 02:27 PM (j0Mw7)

439 Mitch is already practicing Surrender Theater for the Senate elections.

Says it very dicey they can hold on to majority

Posted by: McCool at September 11, 2018 02:28 PM (WXSv6)

440 426 Hurricanes are Trump's fault because he refuses to fight climate change!
What we will hear from the media
-----------------
The Hurricanes are made about Trump leaving the Paris Climate Accord. So are the Volcanos and they're not even weather.

Posted by: Puddin Head at September 11, 2018 02:28 PM (2LelM)

441 Oh a Red Flag baby, that's nice. Desert sux, just that one deployment for an exercise to White Sands convinced me of that. Heat, sand, wind, rattlesnakes, and cactus with 4in spines; not fun at all when in MOPP gear.

Posted by: Anna Puma (HQCaR) at September 11, 2018 02:28 PM (gPuuk)

442 What a rush! Pile of pillow labels and I'm all about the adrenaline!

What's next.

Oh, here we go. Chlorine bottle says "Do Not Mix With Other Cleaning Materials."

Blow me! I"M COREY BOOKER!

A little chlorine, ammonia, spray a little oven cleaner in. . . that. . . bad. . . boy. . .

*thud*

Posted by: Corey Booker at September 11, 2018 02:28 PM (vbJig)

443 The problem with a stalled hurricane is the rain. Day one the ground absorbs some huge percentage of the total. Day two that does not happen and problems appear in a lot of places. Day three is a nightmare of epic proportions. No one can get anywhere unless it's in a truck with super high ground clearance.
Posted by: Forgot My Nic

Then it all heads downstream

Posted by: Jean at September 11, 2018 02:28 PM (j0Mw7)

444 "The combat controller community showed up big time at Chapman's ceremony."

He was a god amongst men. Unparalleled bravery and giant balls.

Posted by: Marcus T at September 11, 2018 02:29 PM (k4Tuv)

445 What was the latest in the day for ace to make a first appearance?I seem to recall after 3...

Posted by: steevy at September 11, 2018 02:29 PM (mCMQ5)

446 Hopefully those are JSOC teams coming back from forward disruption ops, but probably not
Posted by: Jean at September 11, 2018 02:25 PM (j0Mw7)


President ScoggDog would be hard at work trying to create a pretext for military action in Mexico. Even a dumb-ass like me could fix a ton of shit there - and here - with that.

I am not saying that to be funny.

Posted by: ScoggDog at September 11, 2018 02:29 PM (Y2VBD)

447 441 Oh a Red Flag baby, that's nice. Desert sux, just that one deployment for an exercise to White Sands convinced me of that. Heat, sand, wind, rattlesnakes, and cactus with 4in spines; not fun at all when in MOPP gear.
Posted by: Anna Puma (HQCaR) at September 11, 2018 02:28 PM (gPuuk)

---

*snort*

Posted by: SMH - Future proprietress of Bartertown at September 11, 2018 02:30 PM (z3nSX)

448 Was Vic around in the AM thread?

Posted by: Miklos, now expressing real concern at September 11, 2018 02:30 PM (zCyNd)

449 What you want to know is the one's traveling south across the border. They be carrying cash. Then shoot, loot, don't bother digging let the coyotes feast and get the fuck out of Dodge cuz nothing pissess off a Mex than losing his cash.
Posted by: Puddin Head


That why you shovel & shut up. No evidence that they were robbed. Looks like mule took the cash and left.

Posted by: rickb223 at September 11, 2018 02:30 PM (rIQuo)

450 Mitch is already practicing Surrender Theater for the Senate elections.

Says it very dicey they can hold on to majority

--

Good ever-lovin' grief. smh

Posted by: Lady in Black - Death to the Man Bun and Rolled Up Man Pants at September 11, 2018 02:30 PM (mQ0Mc)

451 Yeah Combat Controllers are truly on the pointy end of any spear.

Posted by: Anna Puma (HQCaR) at September 11, 2018 02:30 PM (gPuuk)

452 What was the latest in the day for ace to make a first appearance?I seem to recall after 3...

Posted by: steevy at September 11, 2018 02:29 PM (mCMQ5)


There are some days when he's taken what appeared to be a walkabout, but he was actually dealing with the shenanigans of he-who-shall-not-be-named.

Posted by: BurtTC at September 11, 2018 02:30 PM (9chmE)

453 What you want to know is the one's traveling south across the border. They be carrying cash. Then shoot, loot, don't bother digging let the coyotes feast and get the fuck out of Dodge cuz nothing pissess off a Mex than losing his cash.
Posted by: Puddin Head

I have a suppressed sword .338, could we work out a business arrangement?

Posted by: Jean at September 11, 2018 02:31 PM (j0Mw7)

454 I think Ace is taking the day off.

Posted by: Surfperch at September 11, 2018 02:31 PM (zTtjJ)

455 "Oh a Red Flag baby, that's nice. Desert sux, just that one deployment for an exercise to White Sands convinced me of that. Heat, sand, wind, rattlesnakes, and cactus with 4in spines; not fun at all when in MOPP gear.
Posted by: Anna Puma (HQCaR) at September 11, 2018 02:28 PM (gPuuk)"

Yeah, but it's a "dry heat".

*rolls eyes*

Posted by: Marcus T at September 11, 2018 02:31 PM (k4Tuv)

456 437. Floods two years ago in Best Virginia were like that, and then some.

Here's a house on fire, being swept away by the floodwaters.

https://youtu.be/2d32zLCSjLE

Posted by: Your Decidedly Devious Uncle Palpatine, GECSPLAN, SMR and Ancient Slavonaut Newsletters at September 11, 2018 02:32 PM (fA1SL)

457 Surfperch

Just say No to health and welfare checks.

Posted by: NaCly Dog at September 11, 2018 02:32 PM (hyuyC)

458 452 Oh yeah,hopefully not that.

Posted by: steevy at September 11, 2018 02:32 PM (mCMQ5)

459 CBD needs to start a new thread and put up crossed Ewok Signals.

Posted by: rickb223 at September 11, 2018 02:32 PM (rIQuo)

460 I wish Elon Musk would figure out a way to generate electricity from a hurricane. Put it to good use.

Posted by: Steve and Cold Bear at September 11, 2018 02:32 PM (/qEW2)

461 I'm picturing a tragic shelving accident...

Posted by: Chi-Town Jerry at September 11, 2018 02:33 PM (so+oy)

462 Then it all heads downstream

Posted by: Jean at September 11, 2018 02:28 PM


Yeah, two NC locations I seriously checked out for retirement, one a couple miles inland but on a river, one coastal. Both are in the bullseye. One the storm surge is maybe gonna get, the other the flooding is sure to get.

Posted by: Forgot My Nic at September 11, 2018 02:34 PM (LOgQ4)

463 Yeah, but it's a "dry heat".



*rolls eyes*

Posted by: Marcus T at September 11, 2018 02:31 PM (k4Tuv)

LOL, reminds me of a Craig Ferguson bit when I saw him in Vegas.
He said, "Fire is dry heat too."

Posted by: Deplorable Ian Galt at September 11, 2018 02:34 PM (8iiMU)

464 SOMEBODY FARTED!!!!

Posted by: Bobby Jimmy at September 11, 2018 02:34 PM (F4u7C)

465 The problem with a stalled hurricane is the rain.
Day one the ground absorbs some huge percentage of the total. Day two
that does not happen and problems appear in a lot of places. Day three
is a nightmare of epic proportions. No one can get anywhere unless it's
in a truck with super high ground clearance.

Posted by: Forgot My Nic at September 11, 2018 02:27 PM (LOgQ4)


---

Don't forget day seven to ten when the ground has been saturated for so long that gravity makes weird stuff with rocks, roads, bridges, and trees start happening.

Posted by: Moron Robbie - I say monkey, you think black person, and I'm the racist? at September 11, 2018 02:34 PM (oNuis)

466 Floods two years ago in Best Virginia were like that, and then some.

Here's a house on fire, being swept away by the floodwaters.

https://youtu.be/2d32zLCSjLE
Posted by: Your Decidedly Devious Uncle Palpatine


Jake at State Farm:

"Let me get this straight. You're putting in TWO claims? One flooding and one fire?"

Posted by: rickb223 at September 11, 2018 02:34 PM (rIQuo)

467 President ScoggDog would be hard at work trying to create a pretext for military action in Mexico. Even a dumb-ass like me could fix a ton of shit there - and here - with that.

I am not saying that to be funny.
Posted by: ScoggDog

Just establish an occupied 20km buffer zone in Mexico under DoD control.

Posted by: Jean at September 11, 2018 02:35 PM (j0Mw7)

468 I wish Elon Musk would figure out a way to generate electricity from a hurricane. Put it to good use.
Posted by: Steve and Cold Bear at September 11, 2018 02:32 PM (/qEW2)


Why am I picturing Sean Penn in a boat in New Orleans......

Posted by: Sponge at September 11, 2018 02:35 PM (F4u7C)

469 Here's my cousin's latest update on Florence:

-----------------------------
The trend in the 11am advisory was not especially good for us locally, but not terrible yet. It has a track just a bit farther south, especially in the "out" periods when the storm has weakened to a depression. That's when the really devastating flooding normally happens. Although I think the main impact of that will be farther north in NC/VA/WV/PA/MD, etc., it's too close to us to suit me, even though we're still expected to be in the SW quad, which generally is the best and safest place to be in a tropical system's sphere of influence. I think we'll have flash flooding and damaging winds from the storm, on an intermittent basis. I'm still hoping we won't see the prolonged and devastating flooding. Some of us will likely have the extended power outages to deal with, however.
---------------

By locally, he means here in the Greenville, SC area.

Posted by: publius, Rascally Rapscallion of a Poperin Pear at September 11, 2018 02:35 PM (8O3HH)

470 Are Ewoks related to Wookies?

They favor each other.

Posted by: Andy at September 11, 2018 02:35 PM (1yMs2)

471 So no enstompening today, for sure. Maybe there's an internal power struggle going on.... MisHum is trying to wrestle Ace for control of the "publish" button, but since he only has practically one arm and that is mostly metal, it's hard going.

On the other hand, Ace is trying to fend him off with his trusty drill and shelving tools, but can't understand why the drill won't work very well since he put it in Rev, to get it to go faster. So a stalemate! And no one is tracking CBD, who is trying to sneak around the action.

Posted by: Vanceone at September 11, 2018 02:35 PM (zzW7w)

472 I used to say Nobody ever looked at a desert and said, "that, yeah I want to live there. It's perfect. "

Posted by: Marcus T at September 11, 2018 02:35 PM (k4Tuv)

473 Jake at State Farm:

"Let me get this straight. You're putting in TWO claims? One flooding and one fire?"

Posted by: rickb223 at September 11, 2018 02:34 PM (rIQuo)

"Your citation for lack of boat license/registration is not covered by the homeowner's policy."

Posted by: Miklos, applying Murphy's Law at September 11, 2018 02:36 PM (zCyNd)

474 There are like three hurricanes out there. It's contagious!

Posted by: Bart at September 11, 2018 02:36 PM (1yMs2)

475 Was Vic around in the AM thread?

Posted by: Miklos, now expressing real concern at September 11, 2018 02:30 PM (zCyNd)


Yes. He had to take Mrs Vic for a routine hospital appointment, but didn't know how long he'd be there.

Posted by: Mary Poppins' Practically Perfect Piercing at September 11, 2018 02:36 PM (kqsXK)

476 Hurricane Camille killed more with flash floods in Virginia than it did coming ashore in Mississippi.

If Hurricane Progressive does a Katrina, luckily no city is below sea level. But the city will be after a few days of slow movement.

Posted by: Anna Puma (HQCaR) at September 11, 2018 02:36 PM (gPuuk)

477 Nood Open.

Posted by: Cat Ass Trophy at September 11, 2018 02:36 PM (dNzKv)

478 472 I used to say Nobody ever looked at a desert and said, "that, yeah I want to live there. It's perfect. "
________________________________________

Ahem!

Posted by: A Dung Beetle at September 11, 2018 02:36 PM (vbJig)

479 Don't forget day seven to ten when the ground has been saturated for so long that gravity makes weird stuff with rocks, roads, bridges, and trees start happening.
Posted by: Moron Robbie

When Harvey flooded our neighborhood, one of my neighbors went back to his house in a boat at night to grab a few things. He said the trees were almost completely covered in cockroaches trying to escape the water. **shudder**

Posted by: hobbitopoly at September 11, 2018 02:37 PM (MX7xj)

480 Posted by: publius, Rascally Rapscallion of a Poperin Pear at September 11, 2018 02:35 PM (8O3HH)

--

Thanks for the info, publius. We're in the Duncan/Reidville/Moore area.

Posted by: Lady in Black - Death to the Man Bun and Rolled Up Man Pants at September 11, 2018 02:37 PM (mQ0Mc)

481 Posted by: Vanceone at September 11, 2018 02:35 PM (zzW7w)


Ace has the Power! He is He-Man

Posted by: Cindy at September 11, 2018 02:37 PM (1yMs2)

482 I wish Elon Musk would figure out a way to generate electricity from a hurricane. Put it to good use.
Posted by: Steve and Cold Bear




Windmills.

Posted by: rickb223 at September 11, 2018 02:37 PM (rIQuo)

483 I wish Elon Musk would figure out a way to generate electricity from a hurricane. Put it to good use.

Posted by: Steve and Cold Bear at September 11, 2018 02:32 PM (/qEW2)


I've spent most of my life not having to deal with anything related to Elon Musk, so I have no idea, but I have to believe his birth name was not Elon Musk.

With nothing else to go on, that to me marks him as a pretentious twit.

Sometimes in my head, Elan Musk and Pitt Bull are the same person.

Posted by: BurtTC at September 11, 2018 02:37 PM (9chmE)

484 I used to say Nobody ever looked at a desert and said, "that, yeah I want to live there. It's perfect. "
Posted by: Marcus T

I almost bought a nice property in Southern Utah, but the neighbors were the really weird Mormons. The climate I could have handled.

Posted by: Jean at September 11, 2018 02:38 PM (j0Mw7)

485 Working towards 500

Posted by: Dick at September 11, 2018 02:38 PM (1yMs2)

486 On a different note from the great wind....Here's a piss off--just looked at Drudge who reports that Nike has gained back "all of its losses in the market." That and the report far and wide that we will lose "yuge" in the November elections keep me out of the media information pile (except for here of course). Any of you have better reports on the above?

9/11 Never Forget

Posted by: AnnaS at September 11, 2018 02:39 PM (l4l/z)

487 Anyone on a well and potentially in the path of Florence, fill up a Rubbermaid with water today. Worst case you have to dump out a rubbermaid filled with water. Best case you've got a rubbermaid filled with water when your power goes out.

Posted by: Moron Robbie - I say monkey, you think black person, and I'm the racist? at September 11, 2018 02:39 PM (oNuis)

488
Yesterday we discussed fried chicken. Today it's farts.

Posted by: moki at September 11, 2018 02:07 PM



If you've ever eaten one of those Air Force 'in-flight' box lunches, you understand the connection.

Posted by: Duncanthrax at September 11, 2018 02:08 PM (ctuyM)

We had those in the Navy too.

Posted by: Archer at September 11, 2018 02:39 PM (gmo/4)

489 I am not saying that to be funny.
Posted by: ScoggDog

Just establish an occupied 20km buffer zone in Mexico under DoD control.
Posted by: Jean at September 11, 2018 02:35 PM (j0Mw7)


Well ... a like-minded spirit. I look forward to your newsletter.

I wouldn't "occupy" Mexico. But I would damn sure close that border - and establish a safe haven for those Nationals who want to take their country back.

And use an actual by-god Declaration of War to invoke a bunch of shit that elevates aiding and abetting to a hanging offense.

Don't want this country to fall apart ? Those kind of measures are what it will take.

Posted by: ScoggDog at September 11, 2018 02:41 PM (Y2VBD)

490 ""Let me get this straight. You're putting in TWO claims? One flooding and one fire?""

No...

When the claim is initially denied due to lack of flood insurance, you resubmit the claim as loss due to fire.

Posted by: Village Idiot's Apprentice at September 11, 2018 02:46 PM (wldC6)

491 Guess who just rolled out of the rack.



NOOD!!!!

Posted by: Village Idiot's Apprentice at September 11, 2018 02:49 PM (wldC6)

492
456 Here's a house on fire, being swept away by the floodwaters.

reminds me of a far side cartoon. does the house have a sign on it saying "crisis center"?

Posted by: Anachronda at September 11, 2018 02:49 PM (NmR1a)

493 You folks on the east coast had best scoot soon. I've run from many hurricanes and the traffic can be outrageous. We left too late for Ivan and it took 12 hours to get from New Orleans to Lafayette, normally a 2 1/2 hour trip. Took another 12 hours to get to Houston. You sure don't want to get stuck on the road in the expected rains.


Best of luck to all.

Posted by: Javems at September 11, 2018 07:04 PM (ei2Zk)

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