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Thursday's ONT is a Jungle!

Dave, Dave,
Dave of the Weirdos,
Strong as he can be.
(Ahhhhhhhh)
Watch out ONT!
Dave, Dave,
Dave of the Weirdos,
Lives a life that's free.
(Ahhhhhhhh)
Watch out ONT!


4 words.jpg

Hmmmm. I'm gonna go with “You should calm down”.

Thoughts?

The Difference Between Girls and Boys

Has rarely been so readily apparent as in this clip:


Florida Man is Back!

Florida man strips naked at airport, makes bomb threat Bonus! With video!

Florida Man Has Competition!

Model turns her labia into a necklace after they were cut off in 'designer vagina' surgery Warning! With pictures!

No...There is Another



Not All Heroes Wear Capes

He donated blood every week for 60 years and saved the lives of 2.4 million babies

Seems like a lot of fuss for worthless clumps of cells, no?


Someone Missed the Memo


Is the United States Too Big to Govern?

No, no, no, no, no! It's when a DEMOCRAT is president that you're supposed to run “Unruly Americans refuse to be proper serfs” stories. When a REPUBLICAN is president, you're supposed to run “Homelessness on the rise” stories. Sheesh. Get with the program, Neil.

In any event, I have a suggestion for the author of this article. Why don't we break up the US into autonomous administrative districts, say 50 or so, and, except for in a few, specifically enumerated cases where these districts need to be represented as a whole to the rest of the world, let each of them be sovereign over the people and lands they encompass? I think there's something to this idea, we should explore it further.


Through a Glass, Darkly

If the death is an undiscovered country (Look ma! I'm mixing my metaphors, Shakespeare AND the Bible!), then so too might the future be classified. Many like to say that Europe portends the future of the US, just 30 years ahead. If that's true, I'm glad 30 years will take me to just about my life expectancy.



Kurt Eichenwald Hardest Hit

Octopuses came to Earth from space as frozen eggs millions of years ago

But only for research purposes. Sure.


Tonight's ONT brought to you by off-brand crayons:

Crayons.jpg

Posted by: WeirdDave at 09:46 PM




Comments

(Jump to bottom of comments)

1 Early!

Posted by: lin-duh at May 17, 2018 09:37 PM (kufk0)

2 hi

Posted by: ALH at May 17, 2018 09:39 PM (kXxLC)

3 Is this a thing? Awkward Album Covers

It's new to me.

http://bit.ly/2IRch8v

Posted by: Grump928(C) at May 17, 2018 09:39 PM (yQpMk)

4 ONT?

Time for a Sundowner.

Posted by: Miklos, multicultural mixologist at May 17, 2018 09:39 PM (zCyNd)

5 The Crayola color is red rocket.

Posted by: Mr Aspirin Factory at May 17, 2018 09:40 PM (89T5c)

6 Well, then.

Dog Weiner crayons.

This. Is. ONT.

Posted by: filbert at May 17, 2018 09:40 PM (953wK)

7 Four words?

I nailed your sister.

Posted by: flounder, rebel, vulgarian, deplorable, winner at May 17, 2018 09:40 PM (Dp6qK)

8 The four words every woman wants to hear:

The dishes are done.

That's because there is nothing more attractive than a man with dishpan hands.

Posted by: ALH at May 17, 2018 09:40 PM (kXxLC)

9 Top 10?

Posted by: Zettai Roshia-no Botto at May 17, 2018 09:40 PM (e9G8E)

10 Four words?

"Hello, Im extremely wealthy."

Posted by: Tonypete at May 17, 2018 09:41 PM (9rIkM)

11 Is this a thing? Awkward Album Covers

It's new to me.

http://bit.ly/2IRch8v
Posted by: Grump928(C) at May 17, 2018 09:39 PM (yQpMk)


Somebody get the "Songs For Gay Dogs" album cover to Ace ASAP.

Posted by: filbert at May 17, 2018 09:42 PM (953wK)

12 The video of the boy shooting down the slide made me laugh out loud. I needed that.

Posted by: Laura at May 17, 2018 09:42 PM (StqGT)

13 Four more:

"Nevermind, I found it!"

Posted by: Tonypete at May 17, 2018 09:42 PM (9rIkM)

14 The Four Words every girl wants?

"I'll Exterminate The Muslims".

Posted by: Hikaru at May 17, 2018 09:43 PM (9De+S)

15 Cute shoes on clearance!

Posted by: Mr. Peebles at May 17, 2018 09:43 PM (oVJmc)

16 YOU LIKE BUTT STUFF?

Posted by: Muad'dib at May 17, 2018 09:43 PM (BJYIf)

17 th!

Posted by: Krebs v Carnot: Epic Battle of the Cycling Stars (TM) at May 17, 2018 09:43 PM (pNxlR)

18 "Are You Post Op?"

Posted by: Hikaru at May 17, 2018 09:44 PM (9De+S)

19 Muad'dib,
Wait, whut?? You like butt stuff???

Posted by: lin-duh at May 17, 2018 09:44 PM (kufk0)

20 The Four Words Every Girl Wants Whispered...
....

I will fuck anything.

Posted by: Pando Calrissian at May 17, 2018 09:44 PM (2wOtx)

21 Four words?

Where's my sammich?

Posted by: flounder, rebel, vulgarian, deplorable, winner at May 17, 2018 09:44 PM (Dp6qK)

22 What not to say to the wife:
You Need To Chill
That will get me the death stare and a nasty comment.

Posted by: Max Power at May 17, 2018 09:45 PM (QCc6B)

23 "I AM the Paulo."

Posted by: filbert at May 17, 2018 09:45 PM (953wK)

24 "Make America Great Again"

Posted by: Hikaru at May 17, 2018 09:45 PM (9De+S)

25 Buy whatever you want.

Posted by: ALH at May 17, 2018 09:45 PM (kXxLC)

26 Mitchell, one word:

Tzampotli

Posted by: Miklos, home improver at May 17, 2018 09:45 PM (zCyNd)

27 Evening ONTers.
On another note I went on gab.ai. Come for the free speech, stay for the racism.

Posted by: thathalfrican - OG LoG - Broke Minds Think Alike at May 17, 2018 09:45 PM (IYHxL)

28 Your plumbing is wrong.

Posted by: Shep! at May 17, 2018 09:46 PM (89T5c)

29
We took our 2-1/2 y/o grandson for a short round trip train ride today. He avidly watched out the windows for trucks going by on streets and highways. Trucks of the week are those equiped with cherry pickers. Yeah, he's a guy.

Posted by: Krebs v Carnot: Epic Battle of the Cycling Stars (TM) at May 17, 2018 09:46 PM (pNxlR)

30 You misspelled Pando CalriSOYan

Posted by: Max Power at May 17, 2018 09:46 PM (QCc6B)

31 Sure, here's my card.

Posted by: Miklos, a dreamboat at May 17, 2018 09:46 PM (zCyNd)

32 "Here's my credit card."

Posted by: filbert at May 17, 2018 09:46 PM (953wK)

33


MITCHELL!!!

Posted by: Bertram Cabot, Jr. at May 17, 2018 09:47 PM (IqV8l)

34 THIS IS WAR MITCHELL

Posted by: thathalfrican - OG LoG - Broke Minds Think Alike at May 17, 2018 09:47 PM (IYHxL)

35
Four words: "I'm going commando today."

Posted by: Krebs v Carnot: Epic Battle of the Cycling Stars (TM) at May 17, 2018 09:47 PM (pNxlR)

36 It is real gold.

Posted by: Grump928(C) at May 17, 2018 09:47 PM (yQpMk)

37 You like my sari?

Posted by: Justin Castro at May 17, 2018 09:47 PM (89T5c)

38 *whispers*

Unlimited Black Amex Card

Posted by: NC Ref at May 17, 2018 09:47 PM (pAx+1)

39 Four words?

How do you feel?

Posted by: flounder, rebel, vulgarian, deplorable, winner at May 17, 2018 09:47 PM (Dp6qK)

40 "Hillary's not President, darling."

Posted by: filbert at May 17, 2018 09:47 PM (953wK)

41 Happy Friday Eve! I am looking forward to the weekend. I'm planning on getting a pedicure on Sunday afternoon.

1%er fer sure.

Posted by: ALH at May 17, 2018 09:48 PM (kXxLC)

42 Four words. 'What's your hourly rate?'

Posted by: Your Decidedly Devious Uncle Palpatine, Slavic Customer Service Rep. at May 17, 2018 09:48 PM (fA1SL)

43 From last thread:

Apropos of nothing, is 38spl +P semi-jacketed HP a rare thing? My local Wally World guy looked like I'd grown a 2nd head when I ask after it.
Posted by: Grump928(C) at May 17, 2018 09:37 PM (yQpMk)
---
No way dude. I would only buy .38s that chamber +p and I'm pretty sure my little sister has semi-jackets for her S&W featherweight. Definitely hollow - point. I'd try a dedicated arms dealer or the Internet if wally world's dry.

Hell, I had a guy at Big R look at me like I had horns and a barbed tail when I asked him for 7.62x39: "We don't sell that kind of ammo here," in a pretty condescending tone, too. I was tempted to tell him to f-ck off.

Posted by: Yudhishthira's Dice at May 17, 2018 09:48 PM (UiRxW)

44 It came back negative

Posted by: Miklos, a real dreamboat at May 17, 2018 09:48 PM (zCyNd)

45 Four words?

What's your pronoun?

Posted by: flounder, rebel, vulgarian, deplorable, winner at May 17, 2018 09:48 PM (Dp6qK)

46 Haha...eating bugles like nabisco wanted their bags back...*snort*

Posted by: lin-duh at May 17, 2018 09:48 PM (kufk0)

47 "Once You Go Black..."

Posted by: Hikaru at May 17, 2018 09:49 PM (9De+S)

48 Dog weiner is my favorite color.

Posted by: JC at May 17, 2018 09:49 PM (mJXUS)

49 "Just like your mother."

Posted by: Colorado Alex in Exile at May 17, 2018 09:49 PM (FFDnl)

50
Come for the free speech, stay for the racism.
Posted by: thathalfrican - OG LoG - Broke Minds Think Alike at May 17, 2018 09:45 PM (IYHxL)


Yeah, there's more than an insignificant amount of that there. Not keen on that aspect of the site.

Posted by: Krebs v Carnot: Epic Battle of the Cycling Stars (TM) at May 17, 2018 09:49 PM (pNxlR)

51 32 "Here's my credit card."
Posted by: filbert at May 17, 2018 09:46 PM (953wK)

Mr H hates shopping so he actually does this.

Posted by: ALH at May 17, 2018 09:49 PM (kXxLC)

52 So, all of a sudden the tablet goes on the fritz.

Tablet imitates life.

Posted by: tbodie at May 17, 2018 09:49 PM (Fjr+q)

53 I see the IG report is coming out in 3 to . . . what a bunch of bullshit. We've been hearing about this report coming out since fucking February. Bet me that it won't be out by the election. That's what this has been about since day one. Make sure nothing is found out prior to the midterm elections so the good party gets back in control and suppress all the illegal crap that's been going on within the FBI/DOJ.
Let's face it-the Deep State always wins.

Posted by: Concerned People's Front at May 17, 2018 09:50 PM (rdl6o)

54 SHUT UP RANDY!!

Posted by: SMOD Keeper at May 17, 2018 09:50 PM (TvRUZ)

55 I've finally settled on a reliable field kit of watercolor pencils, pocket brushes filled with various inks and water an HB and 2B pencil a technical pen, water color box and a field sketchbook.

All of this jazz fits into small pack attache to my daily carry backpack

Did a quick sketch at the car delaership waiting for my car to come out of service.



Result was not too shabby.

Posted by: Kreplach at May 17, 2018 09:50 PM (UfMVm)

56 How can a naked man possibly make a bomb threat? Where was the bomb

Answer to the question: Go ahead, buy it

Posted by: Northernlurker but call me Teem. at May 17, 2018 09:50 PM (nBr1j)

57 Pooky's the romantic, not me. I come up with stupid stuff like:
Please pass the pudding
Free clinic said negative!
Your shoe is untied
That's not a sausage

Posted by: pookysgirl HAS A HOUSE at May 17, 2018 09:50 PM (RWNc6)

58 27 Evening ONTers.
On another note I went on gab.ai. Come for the free speech, stay for the racism.
Posted by: thathalfrican - OG LoG - Broke Minds Think Alike at May 17, 2018 09:45 PM (IYHxL)

Gab? Or Takimag?

Posted by: Hikaru at May 17, 2018 09:50 PM (9De+S)

59 I'm taking half a day off tomorrow and taking Chani and some friends out on the pontoon boat. First excursion this year. Wine, summer sausage, cheese. Good tunes. Basically heaven.

Posted by: Muad'dib at May 17, 2018 09:50 PM (BJYIf)

60 we're watching John Mullaney on Netflix
cracking up here

Posted by: votermom pimping NEW Moron-authored books! at May 17, 2018 09:50 PM (hMwEB)

61 Stop talking that crazy talk.

Oops, that's 5 words. I was sure that was it.

Posted by: Anon Y. Mous at May 17, 2018 09:50 PM (pvjTE)

62 Rolling tomorrow for my assignment in the New River Gorge. Will be there until after the Full Moon, on the 29th.
Here's hoping for clear skies and calm weather.

Posted by: Your Decidedly Devious Uncle Palpatine, Slavic Customer Service Rep. at May 17, 2018 09:50 PM (fA1SL)

63 Space octopuses are pansexual.

Posted by: Walter Freeman at May 17, 2018 09:51 PM (I/iGu)

64 It's a Mad Mad Mad Mad World is coming on ThisTV right this minute.

Posted by: Mr. Peebles at May 17, 2018 09:52 PM (oVJmc)

65 You are beautiful, Sweetheart.

Posted by: ALH at May 17, 2018 09:52 PM (kXxLC)

66
Four words: "Disease-free for six weeks!"

Posted by: Krebs v Carnot: Epic Battle of the Cycling Stars (TM) at May 17, 2018 09:52 PM (pNxlR)

67 The White House has weighed in on Yanny vs. Laurel.


Trump proceeds to be funnier than anything SNL could ever think of.

https://youtu.be/1qsRU7C_Gp0

Posted by: buzzion at May 17, 2018 09:52 PM (lKs2v)

68 27 & 58.
We've been over this. They're just dyslexic motorsport enthusiasts. What they mean to type is 'Gas the bikes,' and 'Race car now.'

Posted by: Your Decidedly Devious Uncle Palpatine, Slavic Customer Service Rep. at May 17, 2018 09:52 PM (fA1SL)

69 63 Space octopuses are pansexual.
Posted by: Walter Freeman at May 17, 2018 09:51 PM (I/iGu)

And they're spectacular!

Posted by: Kurt Buchenwald at May 17, 2018 09:52 PM (Dp6qK)

70 On another note I went on gab.ai. Come for the free speech, stay for the racism.

I dunno, it doesn't seem really any worse than anywhere else online. Plenty of $tromfront assholes on Twitter too, and almost every comments section across the web. Maybe it's just more noticeable because the left has worked so hard to paint Gab with the racist brush that when you see one (royal you), you go "Oh, of course." Just block and move on.

Posted by: Weirddave at May 17, 2018 09:53 PM (vFKpB)

71 64 It's a Mad Mad Mad Mad World is coming on ThisTV right this minute.
Posted by: Mr. Peebles at May 17, 2018 09:52 PM (oVJmc)

So is the local news. Want to check the weather.

Posted by: ALH at May 17, 2018 09:53 PM (kXxLC)

72 Awkward album covers, indeed!

Also, things that can never be unseen...

Posted by: Zettai Roshia-no Botto at May 17, 2018 09:53 PM (e9G8E)

73 Picture Caption: "Wanna drive my Ferrari?"
Generally speaking, though: "I like big butts"



Posted by: Born Free at May 17, 2018 09:53 PM (ooJUc)

74 Your sister is smmmokin.

Posted by: eleven at May 17, 2018 09:53 PM (+lOpA)

75 Congrats on the House, Pookysgirl!

Since it's spring and the ice is gone, I can think of a few beautiful four-word statements I want to hear:

"I have a boat."
"I'll get the net."
"I'll clean your catch."

Posted by: NaughtyPine - off kilter but still centered at May 17, 2018 09:53 PM (/+bwe)

76
Four words: "Vasectomy? Sure, why not?"

Posted by: Krebs v Carnot: Epic Battle of the Cycling Stars (TM) at May 17, 2018 09:53 PM (pNxlR)

77
"she was eating bugles like Nabisco needed their bags back."



That's too damn funny

Posted by: TheQuietMan at May 17, 2018 09:54 PM (SiINZ)

78 I am gravely disappointed.

Posted by: Lord Humungus at May 17, 2018 09:55 PM (Dp6qK)

79 Oh look, our GOPe Cory Gardner voted against reducing spending:
https://preview.tinyurl.com/ycwba8yp
*shocked face*

Posted by: Helena Handbotsket at May 17, 2018 09:55 PM (0ReGO)

80 > "I like big butts"



Find a guy who likes big butts because he cannot lie.

Posted by: Muad'dib at May 17, 2018 09:55 PM (BJYIf)

81 English Beat were awesome.

Posted by: Cosmic Charlie at May 17, 2018 09:56 PM (PUmDY)

82 Hey everybody.

Post the four words ever girl wants whispered in her ear

"I won the lotto!"

Posted by: qdpsteve at May 17, 2018 09:56 PM (eMKNe)

83
Four words: "You over Hillary yet?"

Posted by: Krebs v Carnot: Epic Battle of the Cycling Stars (TM) at May 17, 2018 09:57 PM (pNxlR)

84 Your butt's not big

Posted by: DR.WTF? at May 17, 2018 09:57 PM (T71PA)

85 "Wanna see my pit?"

Posted by: Buffalo Bob at May 17, 2018 09:57 PM (lKs2v)

86 "You don't sweat too much for a fat lass!"

"You can't count, either!"

Posted by: filbert at May 17, 2018 09:57 PM (953wK)

87 That's not my finger.

Posted by: ALH at May 17, 2018 09:57 PM (kXxLC)

88 "I've got fudge."

Posted by: Dice at May 17, 2018 09:57 PM (t9Wky)

89
"Your ficus or mine?"

Posted by: publius, Rascally Rapscallion of a Poperin Pear at May 17, 2018 09:58 PM (8O3HH)

90 I'm rich and famous.

Posted by: Joe Mannix (Not a cop!) at May 17, 2018 09:58 PM (hYcqw)

91 Helena,
You coming to Texas in October?

Posted by: lin-duh at May 17, 2018 09:59 PM (kufk0)

92 And they're spectacular!
Posted by: Kurt Buchenwald at May 17, 2018 09:52 PM (Dp6qK)
+++++++++
I think you mean "tentacular"

Posted by: Joe Mannix (Not a cop!) at May 17, 2018 09:59 PM (hYcqw)

93 Ni za sto godina.

https://youtu.be/ignq296onLs

(Only turbo-folk tune my angel digs.)

Posted by: Your Decidedly Devious Uncle Palpatine, Slavic Customer Service Rep. at May 17, 2018 09:59 PM (fA1SL)

94
"I jizzed my pants."

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4pXfHLUlZf4

Posted by: publius, Rascally Rapscallion of a Poperin Pear at May 17, 2018 09:59 PM (8O3HH)

95
Holy Carp!

This many so soon?

Posted by: Spun and Murky at May 17, 2018 09:59 PM (4DCSq)

96
"I'm not infected ... really!"

Posted by: Krebs v Carnot: Epic Battle of the Cycling Stars (TM) at May 17, 2018 09:59 PM (pNxlR)

97 "But first you will..."

Posted by: Mel at May 17, 2018 10:00 PM (t9Wky)

98 "Bet you're sister would"

Posted by: Miklos, a real dreamboat at May 17, 2018 10:00 PM (zCyNd)

99 The rabbit done died.

Posted by: teej at May 17, 2018 10:00 PM (Ixqnq)

100 four words:

I'm Barack Hussein Obama

Wheeee.

Posted by: mallfly suPreme at May 17, 2018 10:00 PM (KxbBq)

101 and I got 100

wheeee

Posted by: mallfly suPreme at May 17, 2018 10:01 PM (KxbBq)

102 "I'll show you mine"

Posted by: Miklos, a real dreamboat at May 17, 2018 10:01 PM (zCyNd)

103 ALH

Congrats, sounds like a fun weekend. Can't find anyone here in the sticks that knows what a pedicure is. We have Farriers..

Posted by: DB Cooper at May 17, 2018 10:02 PM (LU8fy)

104 I don't know anything about 4 words.

The three words my wife loves to hear from me is "It's my fault".

Without the apostrophe it technically would be 4 words, but ... nah.

Posted by: NaCly Dog at May 17, 2018 10:02 PM (hyuyC)

105 Like my new face?

Posted by: Aetius451AD's work phone at May 17, 2018 10:02 PM (sDsee)

106 Shelves won't hang themselves.

Posted by: Walter Freeman at May 17, 2018 10:02 PM (I/iGu)

107 "not blisters, they're freckles"

Posted by: Miklos, a real dreamboat at May 17, 2018 10:02 PM (zCyNd)

108 Get me a sammich

Posted by: LASue at May 17, 2018 10:03 PM (BZA5F)

109 What is a NDA?

Posted by: Cosmic Charlie at May 17, 2018 10:03 PM (PUmDY)

110 "They won't press charges."

Posted by: filbert at May 17, 2018 10:03 PM (953wK)

111 The Four Words every girl wants?
"I killed the spider."

Posted by: tu3031 at May 17, 2018 10:03 PM (O5Q3r)

112 Labia jewelry or gristle

Posted by: Quilter's Irish Death at May 17, 2018 10:03 PM (uB9t9)

113 Charlton Heston's four word secret to a long and happy marriage:

"Honey, you were right"

Posted by: Miklos, a real dreamboat at May 17, 2018 10:03 PM (zCyNd)

114 Non-Disclosure Agreement

Posted by: Mr Aspirin Factory at May 17, 2018 10:04 PM (89T5c)

115 The Four Words every girl wants?
"The test was negative."

Posted by: tu3031 at May 17, 2018 10:04 PM (O5Q3r)

116 Posted by: Weirddave at May 17, 2018 09:53 PM (vFKpB)

You're probably right and this is only anecdotal evidence but one of the leading posts on gab was some dude running for some office in Cali. And was pretty anti-Jew and from what I could gather seems to believe the Holocaust never happened.

Posted by: thathalfrican - OG LoG - Broke Minds Think Alike at May 17, 2018 10:04 PM (IYHxL)

117 Y'all know, don't you, that Donnie Baker is a character from a syndicated morning radio show: "The Bob and Tom Show."

Started in Indianapolis. I have heard Donnie more times than I can count.

Posted by: LadyTheo, Let's not have any shenanigans tonight at May 17, 2018 10:04 PM (X+6iw)

118 10 Four words?

"Hello, Im extremely wealthy."
Posted by: Tonypete


And women who fall for that line are dumb enough to get laid by the men who use it.

Posted by: nerdygirl at May 17, 2018 10:05 PM (+lVUW)

119 And what the hell is Takimag?

Posted by: thathalfrican - OG LoG - Broke Minds Think Alike at May 17, 2018 10:05 PM (IYHxL)

120 I know, I was trying to make 4 words.

Posted by: Cosmic Charlie at May 17, 2018 10:05 PM (PUmDY)

121 Brian Kemp is rising in the polls here in the Georgia governor race.

The lead guy is at 31%, Kemp at 20%.

Last week the lead guy was 41%. Those campaign commercials Kemp has been running have been effective.

Posted by: ALH at May 17, 2018 10:05 PM (kXxLC)

122 "yes, I dumped Megan"

Posted by: Miklos, a real dreamboat at May 17, 2018 10:05 PM (zCyNd)

123 The four words that got me were, "May I court you?"

Posted by: MathMom at May 17, 2018 10:05 PM (YzFYD)

124 Heh. And you did.

Posted by: Mr Aspirin Factory at May 17, 2018 10:06 PM (89T5c)

125 My friend sends me Donny Baker all the time. Either this guy is real or one hell of an actor.. I love me some Donny Boy!!

Posted by: sOME mORON at May 17, 2018 10:06 PM (ICWiF)

126 John McCain is mort.

Posted by: flounderbot, rebel, vulgarian, deplorabot, winner at May 17, 2018 10:06 PM (Dp6qK)

127 @116: "You're probably right and this is only anecdotal evidence ..."

My guess is Gab racism splits three ways: actual racists, Twitter financed sabotage bots, and bored sociology graduate students.

Posted by: Walter Freeman at May 17, 2018 10:07 PM (I/iGu)

128 I deleted those pictures.

Posted by: Aetius451AD's work phone at May 17, 2018 10:07 PM (sDsee)

129 126 John McCain is mort.

@126 - Don't tease a girl!

Posted by: MathMom at May 17, 2018 10:07 PM (YzFYD)

130 You are very disagreeable.

Posted by: Joe Mannix (Not a cop!) at May 17, 2018 10:07 PM (hYcqw)

131 126 John McCain is mort.


Welp.

Posted by: eleven at May 17, 2018 10:07 PM (+lOpA)

132 Result was not too shabby.
Posted by: Kreplach
------------

Car or sketch?

Posted by: Mike Hammer, etc, etc. at May 17, 2018 10:07 PM (5OO3x)

133 Husband was reading the ONT over my shoulder and whispered in my ear...

"I did the dishes."

He's getting laid tonight.

Posted by: moki at May 17, 2018 10:07 PM (V+V48)

134 My mother sent me

Posted by: David Hoggswarts on my cock at May 17, 2018 10:08 PM (ICWiF)

135 no, he isn't... damnit.

i hate being teased.

Posted by: redc1c4 at May 17, 2018 10:08 PM (ogGku)

136 135 no, he isn't... damnit.

i hate being teased.

Posted by: redc1c4 at May 17, 2018 10:08 PM (ogGku)

It was four words.

Posted by: flounderbot, rebel, vulgarian, deplorabot, winner at May 17, 2018 10:08 PM (Dp6qK)

137 On another note I went on gab.ai. Come for the free speech, stay for the racism.

Posted by: thathalfrican - OG LoG - Broke Minds Think Alike at May 17, 2018 09:45 PM (IYHxL)

The first week+ involves a *lot* of using the block button. With more of the Horde there it should be easier to find reasonable voices to listen to.

Posted by: Polliwog the 'Ette at May 17, 2018 10:08 PM (rp9xB)

138 Everyone, gonna need some advice tonight. It's a work issue.

I'll ask in a bit after more people are here.

Posted by: qdpsteve at May 17, 2018 10:09 PM (eMKNe)

139 i hate being teased.


Are those the four words?

Posted by: eleven at May 17, 2018 10:09 PM (+lOpA)

140 Why is the ONT linking to CNN? Archive.is that shit bruhhhh

Posted by: ghost of kari - certified sidebar at May 17, 2018 10:09 PM (eY/ez)

141 125 My friend sends me Donny Baker all the time. Either this guy is real or one hell of an actor.. I love me some Donny Boy!!
Posted by: sOME mORON at May 17, 2018 10:06 PM (ICWiF)



"Actor." Guy from a radio show doing a character. He's not one of the on air personalities but he would do a bunch of the comedic call in voices. His first time calling in as "Donnie Baker" he was using a slightly different voice.

Posted by: buzzion at May 17, 2018 10:09 PM (lKs2v)

142 No one's said

"Make me a sammich"

Who are you people?

Posted by: What's a Seawolf? at May 17, 2018 10:09 PM (4Meh6)

143 I'm looking to the 'ettes to answer that 4 word question...

Posted by: Roy at May 17, 2018 10:09 PM (ABjxW)

144 Lady Theo
Bob and Tom in the morning
The Q Zoo
Q95

Better show back then, The Electric Brunch with Steve Cooper on Sunday mornings.
Moved to Indy in 79. There almost 10 years.
It was the best of times. It was the worst of times.

Posted by: teej at May 17, 2018 10:09 PM (Ixqnq)

145 We have Farriers..
Posted by: DB Cooper at May 17, 2018 10:02 PM (LU8fy)

Like blacksmiths? for horses?

Posted by: ALH at May 17, 2018 10:09 PM (kXxLC)

146 I finally heard something today that let me know there is definitely some funny business going on with the now infamous "laurel - yanny" clip. It had bugged me since I have a very good ear for pitch and tone, and couldn't see how there could be any confusion.

There are two different voices, the fainter one about 1/2 second after the first. The trick is that only one of them plays on any given run through, and that's what I don't know how they figured. The first voice is clearly male, and distinctly says "ore-eh". Consonants are missing, but that's what people hear as "laurel". But sometimes, that does not play, and instead a rather gravelly whispery voice (female, maybe) about 1/2 second after where the "ore-eh" voice should be says quietly "aah-eee". And that's what people hear as yanny.

What I cannot figure is how it is rigged so people can hear one or the other, but never both on the same run through. that's the trick of the thing.

Posted by: Tom Servo at May 17, 2018 10:09 PM (V2Yro)

147 4 words: you're my only heir.

(it only w*rks if you are "well off" or better.)

Posted by: redc1c4 at May 17, 2018 10:10 PM (ogGku)

148 Who are you people?

Posted by: What's a Seawolf? at May 17, 2018 10:09 PM (4Meh6)

People who made the sammich joke at least twice.

Posted by: flounderbot, rebel, vulgarian, deplorabot, winner at May 17, 2018 10:10 PM (Dp6qK)

149 42 No one's said

"Make me a sammich"

Who are you people?
Posted by: What's a Seawolf? at May 17, 2018 10:09 PM (4Meh6

Ahem,, 108

Posted by: LASue at May 17, 2018 10:10 PM (BZA5F)

150 Moki, I did the dishes, too.

Posted by: RI Red at May 17, 2018 10:10 PM (l3msd)

151 143 I'm looking to the 'ettes to answer that 4 word question...
Posted by: Roy at May 17, 2018 10:09 PM (ABjxW)

Will you marry me?

Posted by: ALH at May 17, 2018 10:10 PM (kXxLC)

152 "I'm a diamond importer."

Posted by: buzzion at May 17, 2018 10:10 PM (lKs2v)

153 137. She's right, you know. Place is crawling with Micks, Eyeties, tulip-peddling canal rats, gypsies, and Methodists.

Posted by: Your Decidedly Devious Uncle Palpatine, Slavic Customer Service Rep. at May 17, 2018 10:10 PM (fA1SL)

154 "Put on the handcuffs"

Posted by: Colorado Alex in Exile at May 17, 2018 10:10 PM (FFDnl)

155 on the dance floor I always used

I'm sporting a woodie..

Posted by: sOME mORON at May 17, 2018 10:11 PM (ICWiF)

156 151 143 I'm looking to the 'ettes to answer that 4 word question...
Posted by: Roy at May 17, 2018 10:09 PM (ABjxW)

Will you marry me?
Posted by: ALH at May 17, 2018 10:10 PM (kXxLC)

Well. I guess that explains a lot then.

Posted by: Roy at May 17, 2018 10:11 PM (ABjxW)

157 John McCain is mort.

He just has to scratch his nose.

Posted by: t-bird at May 17, 2018 10:11 PM (cp1if)

158 Four words: "Your sister swallows baby."

Posted by: NALNAMSAM - not as lean, not as mean, still a Marine at May 17, 2018 10:11 PM (+ldAm)

159 What I cannot figure is how it is rigged so people can hear one or the other, but never both on the same run through. that's the trick of the thing.

Posted by: Tom Servo at May 17, 2018 10:09 PM (V2Yro)

I am guessing it is designed to sound differently depending on people's natural variation in sensitivity to different frequencies. And as the audio environment changes, much like for a tuned loudspeaker, that will cause different frequencies to resonate more loudly.

Posted by: flounderbot, rebel, vulgarian, deplorabot, winner at May 17, 2018 10:12 PM (Dp6qK)

160 150 Moki, I did the dishes, too.
Posted by: RI Red at May 17, 2018 10:10 PM (l3msd)

Nice try, Red.

Unless you happen to be my husband commenting...

Posted by: moki at May 17, 2018 10:13 PM (V+V48)

161 Everyone, gonna need some advice tonight. It's a work issue.
I'll ask in a bit after more people are here.
Posted by: qdpsteve at May 17, 2018 10:09 PM


First, let's get to the foot of the issue.

Posted by: Quentin T. at May 17, 2018 10:13 PM (DMUuz)

162 In my defense, when I checked it was pre- year 1700 LIRR tunnels, and it had not been.

Damn government transportation.

Posted by: What's a Seawolf? at May 17, 2018 10:13 PM (4Meh6)

163 To help avoid the racism on gab, go to the newly created Ace of Spades group

Posted by: LMD Outer Banker at May 17, 2018 10:13 PM (Vuaet)

164 Yes, that's the pedicure you can get in the sticks here. I have a house that overlooks the Phoenican and Royal Palms but can't ever bring myself to hang with the Beautiiful People up there.

Posted by: DB Cooper at May 17, 2018 10:13 PM (LU8fy)

165 OK drop your laundry

was an old timey classic in the late 50's

Posted by: sOME mORON at May 17, 2018 10:13 PM (ICWiF)

166 Keep 'er movin'.

Posted by: Manny Towauk at May 17, 2018 10:13 PM (t9Wky)

167 Four words: "My name is Paolo"

Posted by: Mike Hammer, etc, etc. at May 17, 2018 10:13 PM (w1zJX)

168 146 I finally heard something today that let me know there is definitely some funny business going on with the now infamous "laurel - yanny" clip. It had bugged me since I have a very good ear for pitch and tone, and couldn't see how there could be any confusion.

There are two different voices, the fainter one about 1/2 second after the first. The trick is that only one of them plays on any given run through, and that's what I don't know how they figured. The first voice is clearly male, and distinctly says "ore-eh". Consonants are missing, but that's what people hear as "laurel". But sometimes, that does not play, and instead a rather gravelly whispery voice (female, maybe) about 1/2 second after where the "ore-eh" voice should be says quietly "aah-eee". And that's what people hear as yanny.

What I cannot figure is how it is rigged so people can hear one or the other, but never both on the same run through. that's the trick of the thing.
Posted by: Tom Servo at May 17, 2018 10:09 PM (V2Yro)



Except I played it for someone when I was hearing Laurel, and to him it sounded like "Yarry." How can you explain two people listening at the same time and hearing a different word?

Besides Trump gave the definitive answer.

https://youtu.be/1qsRU7C_Gp0

Posted by: buzzion at May 17, 2018 10:13 PM (lKs2v)

169 You gonna eat that?

Posted by: LadyTheo, Let's not have any shenanigans tonight at May 17, 2018 10:13 PM (X+6iw)

170 "The four words every girl wants whispered in her ear"
I saved with Geico?

Posted by: jim at May 17, 2018 10:13 PM (gjGvH)

171 He's getting laid tonight.

Posted by: moki at May 17, 2018 10:07 PM (V+V4
---
must be nice: i do the dishes, cook AND grocery shop, but it's still been at least 12 years. hell, i don't even get hugs or kisses.

at this point in time, i'd settle for a new sofa to sleep on. this one is hell on my back.

Posted by: redc1c4 at May 17, 2018 10:14 PM (ogGku)

172 Labia jewelry or gristle

Posted by: Quilter's Irish Death at May 17, 2018 10:03 PM (uB9t9)
***********************
I don't care if it's all glittery, wearing body parts is just plain creepy.
Some people just have to have a conversation piece.
I love your necklace. Thanks, its my labia.

Posted by: redridinghood at May 17, 2018 10:14 PM (PvFoN)

173 >>>Through a Glass, Darkly

Duh, duh, duh. 99% of the morons here could have made that video.

Posted by: Steve and Cold Bear at May 17, 2018 10:15 PM (/qEW2)

174 Take your pants off

Easy peasy hippy 60's

Posted by: sOME mORON at May 17, 2018 10:15 PM (ICWiF)

175 but can't ever bring myself to hang with the Beautiiful People up there.
Posted by: DB Cooper at May 17, 2018 10:13 PM (LU8fy)

Put on a pair of cheap sunglasses and you'll be fine.

They'll never notice you.

Posted by: ALH at May 17, 2018 10:15 PM (kXxLC)

176 Four words every girl wants to hear

"They bought your story."

Posted by: Skandia Recluse - Alt-Ctrl at May 17, 2018 10:15 PM (roQNm)

177 Thanks, its my labia.

Posted by: redridinghood at May 17, 2018 10:14 PM (PvFoN)

For the girl that used to have everything.

Posted by: flounderbot, rebel, vulgarian, deplorabot, winner at May 17, 2018 10:15 PM (Dp6qK)

178 I'm thinking; "make me a sammich"?

Posted by: jakee308 at May 17, 2018 10:15 PM (3YVDU)

179 "I have exact change"

Posted by: Joe Mannix (Not a cop!) at May 17, 2018 10:16 PM (hYcqw)

180

Hi, I'm Laurel. This is my brother Yanny and my other brother Yanny.

Posted by: Bertram Cabot, Jr. at May 17, 2018 10:16 PM (IqV8l)

181 If ya don't ask, ya don't get.
Just like buying lottery tickets, mokie.

You have yourself a wonderful evening.

Posted by: RI Red at May 17, 2018 10:16 PM (l3msd)

182 must be nice: i do the dishes, cook AND grocery shop, but it's still been at least 12 years. hell, i don't even get hugs or kisses.

at this point in time, i'd settle for a new sofa to sleep on. this one is hell on my back.
Posted by: redc1c4 at May 17, 2018 10:14 PM (ogGku)

red, I'm so sorry. I sincerely hope that things change between you and your wife, and she returns the love you shower on her.

I know I am blessed with my beloved. I thank God for him every day. I pray that happens for you soon.

Posted by: moki at May 17, 2018 10:16 PM (V+V48)

183 The four words every girl wants whispered in her ear:

Fourth Floor, Women's Lingerie

Posted by: No One of Consequence at May 17, 2018 10:16 PM (+F0Wk)

184 171 He's getting laid tonight.

Posted by: moki at May 17, 2018 10:07 PM (V+V4
---
must be nice: i do the dishes, cook AND grocery shop, but it's still been at least 12 years. hell, i don't even get hugs or kisses.

at this point in time, i'd settle for a new sofa to sleep on. this one is hell on my back.

****

Someone needs a trade-in.

Posted by: LadyTheo, Let's not have any shenanigans tonight at May 17, 2018 10:16 PM (X+6iw)

185 You want the hose?

Posted by: Jame at May 17, 2018 10:16 PM (t9Wky)

186 Just spotted:


Intelligence Analyst, Russia
CrowdStrike - Remote
Additional languages from Eastern Europe a plus (Ukrainian, Georgian, Hungarian, Polish, Estonian, Latvian, Lithuanian, Albanian, Macedonian etc.), however,...
May 16

Posted by: Miklos, analytical as all get out at May 17, 2018 10:16 PM (zCyNd)

187 "What I cannot figure is how it is rigged so people can hear one or the other, but never both on the same run through. "

Mrs VIA and I sat here with the laptop, both of us listening at the same time.
I heard one thing she heard the other.

Posted by: Village Idiot's Apprentice at May 17, 2018 10:17 PM (EyPfd)

188 Four words: "I've got serious girth."

Posted by: JoeF. at May 17, 2018 10:17 PM (mc8++)

189 He's a millennial, "What's a lug wrench?"

Posted by: Mike Hammer, etc, etc. at May 17, 2018 10:17 PM (w1zJX)

190 Pudding pops or Quaaludes?

Posted by: Bill Cosby at May 17, 2018 10:17 PM (Dp6qK)

191 "I made the doughnuts."

Posted by: LadyTheo, Let's not have any shenanigans tonight at May 17, 2018 10:17 PM (X+6iw)

192 so...any predictions for tomorrow?

Criminal referrals? A nothing burger? Somewhere in between?

Posted by: 18-1 at May 17, 2018 10:17 PM (Z8FFX)

193
If ya don't ask, ya don't get.
Just like buying lottery tickets, mokie.


I asked but she never gave me any tickets.

Posted by: Bertram Cabot, Jr. at May 17, 2018 10:18 PM (IqV8l)

194 And a nice chianti.

Posted by: Walter Freeman at May 17, 2018 10:18 PM (I/iGu)

195 I suppose not. Just never the people I wanted to hang with.

Posted by: DB Cooper at May 17, 2018 10:18 PM (LU8fy)

196 Four words: "I've got serious girth."
Posted by: JoeF.
----------

The most recent edition of The Handbook specifies, 'Girthsome'. Just saying.

Posted by: Mike Hammer, etc, etc. at May 17, 2018 10:18 PM (w1zJX)

197 But your sister won't.

Posted by: Cosmic Charlie at May 17, 2018 10:18 PM (PUmDY)

198 Your alibi fooled them?

Your ass looks great! (in response to a ??)

The meeting is adjourned.

Sock it to me!

Sake to me, hic.

Posted by: NaCly Dog at May 17, 2018 10:18 PM (hyuyC)

199 @132

Both.

The waiting room had several people in it with large windows into the service department.

So I quick sketched another guy waiting in watercolor pencils, then softened it up with a waterbrush, then alternated between watercolor pencil and inks to finish it up.

Took about 20 minutes.

Then I did some rough sketches of cars in the service department.

Posted by: Kreplach at May 17, 2018 10:18 PM (UfMVm)

200 ' I have a Corolla.'

Posted by: Your Decidedly Devious Uncle Palpatine, Slavic Customer Service Rep. at May 17, 2018 10:18 PM (fA1SL)

201 "your Mom is hawt!"

Posted by: redc1c4 at May 17, 2018 10:18 PM (ogGku)

202 CrowdStrike Intelligence, a core component of CrowdStrike, is seeking an Intelligence Analyst with Russian language skills, and knowledge in Russia’s current political and transnational issues, to focus on analysis of targeted intrusion cyber actors and adversaries linked to Russia. This position serves as an important role dedicated to analyzing and producing finished intelligence reports on actors, adversaries, geopolitical developments, and transitional issues in Russia. It also serves as an important role providing geopolitical context supporting the technical analysis of campaigns and threat data.

Posted by: Hillary is hiring! at May 17, 2018 10:18 PM (zCyNd)

203 Welcome to the jungle!

https://youtu.be/kjt-aYQO5zA

Posted by: Prothonotary Warbler... now with 23% more Dragon Energy! at May 17, 2018 10:19 PM (wSC8T)

204 Get down on it

Disco 70's

Posted by: sOME mORON at May 17, 2018 10:19 PM (ICWiF)

205
The NYT put up a filter things about the Laurel-Yanny clip. The "Yanny" is in the higher frequencies and "Laurel" is in the lower frequencies.

The trick of this is that which one your brain picks to hear depends on very subtle factors.

https://preview.tinyurl.com/y8so56cg

Move the slider and you can hear either one. Now, the funny thing is, I first heard Laurel, but with these computer speakers, I hear Yanny. I had to move that slider 3/4 of the way to the left to hear "Laurel".

But when my brain seized on "Laurel", I could move it well back to the right before I heard Yanny again. This demonstrates how it's your own brain picking one or the other.

You can get that slider where you can hear both at the same time.

Posted by: publius, Rascally Rapscallion of a Poperin Pear at May 17, 2018 10:19 PM (8O3HH)

206 On another note I went on gab.ai. Come for the free speech, stay for the racism.
***
Serious question...why is racism more offensive then socialism?

What has killed more people in the last 100 years?

Posted by: 18-1 at May 17, 2018 10:19 PM (Z8FFX)

207 It also serves as an important role providing geopolitical context supporting the technical analysis of campaigns and threat data.

Posted by: Hillary is hiring! at May 17, 2018 10:18 PM (zCyNd)

What happened to the last guy?

Posted by: flounderbot, rebel, vulgarian, deplorabot, winner at May 17, 2018 10:19 PM (Dp6qK)

208 Lets do some lines

Crazy 80's

Posted by: sOME mORON at May 17, 2018 10:19 PM (ICWiF)

209 Most work questions can be answered with "arson and a good alibi."

Posted by: Walter Freeman at May 17, 2018 10:20 PM (I/iGu)

210 "are those things real?"

Posted by: t-bird at May 17, 2018 10:20 PM (w1zJX)

211 If it's pajama boy

"Let's talk about Obamacare"

Posted by: No One of Consequence at May 17, 2018 10:20 PM (+F0Wk)

212 Hey man, Donnie Baker rules! I swear to G-d he does.

Great ONT, WeirdDave!

And Thank You SO MUCH for the sidebar item about Joyce.

I miss her.

Posted by: ibguy at May 17, 2018 10:20 PM (vUcdz)

213 So, I should haved socked "The rabbit done died" with

Steven Tyler?

It's like...

Posted by: teej at May 17, 2018 10:20 PM (Ixqnq)

214 Kreplach, are your paintings online?

Posted by: Cosmic Charlie at May 17, 2018 10:20 PM (PUmDY)

215 209. This is true of business and home improvement as well.

Posted by: Your Decidedly Devious Uncle Palpatine, Slavic Customer Service Rep. at May 17, 2018 10:20 PM (fA1SL)

216 You can get that slider where you can hear both at the same time.

Posted by: publius, Rascally Rapscallion of a Poperin Pear at May 17, 2018 10:19 PM (8O3HH)

I guessed right. What did I win?

Posted by: flounderbot, rebel, vulgarian, deplorabot, winner at May 17, 2018 10:20 PM (Dp6qK)

217 My husband and son heard laurel but I heard yammy while listening at the same time.

Posted by: lin-duh at May 17, 2018 10:21 PM (kufk0)

218 I need bail money

Nasty 90's

Posted by: sOME mORON at May 17, 2018 10:21 PM (ICWiF)

219 Bob Dole is ready.

Posted by: Bob Dole at May 17, 2018 10:21 PM (t9Wky)

220 Funny start. I am old enough to remember that cartoon. Back to content. Started early

Posted by: Lurking Cheshirecat at May 17, 2018 10:21 PM (sPDfB)

221 Moki, have a great night bragging, not complaining.

And with that, time to turn in.

And good luck with simply four words.

Naval aviators used to tell me foreplay for us Surface Warfare type was 6 hours of begging.

Posted by: NaCly Dog at May 17, 2018 10:21 PM (hyuyC)

222 What happened to the last guy?

Posted by: flounderbot, rebel, vulgarian, deplorabot, winner at May 17, 2018 10:19 PM (Dp6qK)

Horizontally transferred.

Posted by: Miklos, not cynical, just...experienced at May 17, 2018 10:22 PM (zCyNd)

223 "my girlfriend is away"

Posted by: t-bird at May 17, 2018 10:22 PM (7ThJ3)

224 Something I want to share, perhaps in light of ibguy's loss of his beloved sister, combined with the loss of my wife four months ago now.
We were talking in my Grief Share group about forgiveness, particularly in regard to insensitivity or stupidity in response to grief. Apparently it happens a lot but it doesn't seem to have happened to me in any hugely painful way, perhaps because of God's grace, perhaps because I've been blessed with having good people in my life, including the horde.

But what I told the group was I deal with that kind of stuff in advance by having low expectations of people. It's not that I'm cynical, or negative or don't like people. Actually I like people, really I do.
But it's that I view people as broken and flawed and in need of grace, just like me. Plus I realize half the people I meet are below average in intelligence. Half are below average in sensitivity. And have are below average in decency.
There you have it.

Posted by: Northernlurker but call me Teem. at May 17, 2018 10:22 PM (nBr1j)

225 Hey ibguy, we haven't met but I wanted to extend my sympathies on the loss of your sister.

Posted by: Muad'dib at May 17, 2018 10:22 PM (BJYIf)

226 219
Bob Dole is ready.


Posted by: Bob Dole at May 17, 2018 10:21 PM (t9Wky)

I assume 30 minutes after his special pill.

Posted by: jim at May 17, 2018 10:23 PM (gjGvH)

227 Or maybe the cephalopods were the first race of the animal kingdom, but were locked into their dark temple of R'lyeh until their priest-king died. Today's calamari are the degenerate spawn of Cthulhu.

Posted by: boulder t'hobo at May 17, 2018 10:23 PM (6FqZa)

228 Publius, about that Yanny-Laurel thing... what does it mean you don't hear either of those things? I hear "yirry", myself.

Posted by: Prothonotary Warbler... now with 23% more Dragon Energy! at May 17, 2018 10:23 PM (wSC8T)

229 Four words:

"I'll get the plunger"

Posted by: Muldoon at May 17, 2018 10:23 PM (m45I2)

230 224. As my grandfather told me, 'There are no bad dogs or good men.'

Posted by: Your Decidedly Devious Uncle Palpatine, Slavic Customer Service Rep. at May 17, 2018 10:23 PM (fA1SL)

231 You like tentacle porn?

Posted by: Kurt Buchenwald at May 17, 2018 10:23 PM (Dp6qK)

232 Ok, gonna try this Gab shit. Where is the AOS thing and what do I do?

Posted by: RI Red at May 17, 2018 10:23 PM (l3msd)

233 This is true of business and home improvement as well.
Posted by: Your Decidedly Devious Uncle Palpatine
------------

A guy I knew who worked at JPL claimed that a proper application of explosives could take care of any problem, personal or professional.

Posted by: Mike Hammer, etc, etc. at May 17, 2018 10:24 PM (nBBdT)

234 Found my car keys.

Posted by: Punchline at May 17, 2018 10:24 PM (t9Wky)

235 Washington Capitals always choke.

Posted by: Walter Freeman at May 17, 2018 10:24 PM (I/iGu)

236 "Whatever you say, dear."

Posted by: Brother Cavil, Penitent Cylon at May 17, 2018 10:24 PM (lLeln)

237 Just saw the WH take on the Laurel and Yanny thing and Trump's answer at end has me laughing so hard. Omg. That man is priceless.

Posted by: IC at May 17, 2018 10:25 PM (gcme+)

238 My deepest sympathies for your loss, ibguy.

Posted by: ALH at May 17, 2018 10:25 PM (kXxLC)

239 @214

No they are not.

I am just picking up art again after a 30 year layoff.

In the last few years I've started playing piano again which I did in my teens as well.

I started all of this when I stopped using all of my free time watching television, roughly four years ago.

I also don't have a place online to display any art.

Posted by: Kreplach at May 17, 2018 10:25 PM (UfMVm)

240 "Yes, it's quite girthy"

"I inherited millions today"

"I own many diamonds"

(Or is that too cynical?)

And good evening, Horde. If one of the Weather Control Jews could turn off the rain setting for Pennsylvania I'd be greatly appreciative.

Posted by: joncelli, nominal Lutheran at May 17, 2018 10:25 PM (1FhAQ)

241 BTW ibguy I've been praying for you today.

Posted by: Northernlurker but call me Teem. at May 17, 2018 10:26 PM (nBr1j)

242 233. Also true, especially in his line of work. But sprengstoff invites unnecessary attention from our friends in the fedgov, who really needn't be bothered with our problems.

Posted by: Your Decidedly Devious Uncle Palpatine, Slavic Customer Service Rep. at May 17, 2018 10:26 PM (fA1SL)

243 Night you old sea dog.
I gotta get, too.

Posted by: teej at May 17, 2018 10:26 PM (Ixqnq)

244 Your ass is Great!

Posted by: Vincent Hannah at May 17, 2018 10:26 PM (t9Wky)

245 229 Four words:

"I'll get the plunger"
Posted by: Muldoon at May 17, 2018 10:23 PM (m45I2)

My Hero!

Posted by: ALH at May 17, 2018 10:26 PM (kXxLC)

246 'What's your name again?'

Posted by: Your Decidedly Devious Uncle Palpatine, Slavic Customer Service Rep. at May 17, 2018 10:26 PM (fA1SL)

247
228: Listen to the NYT thing and move the slider back and forth from one end to the other. how does that change what you hear?

This thing is basically a "mess", a mixture of all kinds of things that makes your brain have to decide what it wants to seize on. If you've had some hearing loss, or you speakers/sudio doesn't give the full range, you may hear something different.

I guess you can say that most people will hear Laurel or Yanny, but some will hear something else.

Posted by: publius, Rascally Rapscallion of a Poperin Pear at May 17, 2018 10:26 PM (8O3HH)

248 "my boner needs attention"

Posted by: ghost of hallelujah at May 17, 2018 10:27 PM (oAY8z)

249 Four words

A trust fund Baby!

Posted by: Diogenes at May 17, 2018 10:27 PM (0tfLf)

250 Do you like sausage?

Posted by: dantesed at May 17, 2018 10:27 PM (88xKn)

251 Kreplach, I took a painting class this last semester. Hopefully soon I can take a figure drawing class, and continue to work in the forge again.

I really need to start up with the violin lessons again as well.

Posted by: Colorado Alex in Exile at May 17, 2018 10:28 PM (FFDnl)

252 I hear Blow Job.

Posted by: Laural Yanny at May 17, 2018 10:28 PM (t9Wky)

253 "No, I'm not gay."

Posted by: LadyTheo, Let's not have any shenanigans tonight at May 17, 2018 10:28 PM (X+6iw)

254 For words
Hey I'm in prison

Posted by: Anthony Weiner at May 17, 2018 10:28 PM (ICWiF)

255 RI Red
when you sign up on gab, they ask your full name. If you actually use your real name it will publish with your posts, so put in a fake one. I put in Beach Girl and my posts publish as Beach girl@beachgirl. Once you have signed up, go to groups on the menu and look for Ace of Spades

Posted by: LMD Outer Banker at May 17, 2018 10:28 PM (Vuaet)

256 Hey! This is labiary!


/Chinese student in pre-op.

Posted by: Muldoon at May 17, 2018 10:28 PM (m45I2)

257 No soup for you!

Posted by: Soup Nazi at May 17, 2018 10:29 PM (t9Wky)

258 "You drew my keys"

Posted by: Joe Mannix (Not a cop!) at May 17, 2018 10:29 PM (hYcqw)

259 Pop goes the weasel

Posted by: Anthony Weiner at May 17, 2018 10:29 PM (ICWiF)

260 I've noted that people from the south refer to it as a 'plumber's friend', whereas the northerners call it 'a plunger'.

'Plunger' sounds to me like a jumper.

Posted by: Mike Hammer, etc, etc. at May 17, 2018 10:29 PM (c/EDo)

261 "take your teeth out"

Posted by: Miklos, de la Rue Bourbon at May 17, 2018 10:30 PM (zCyNd)

262 ibguy : just wanted you to know that your stories about Joyce and her friends have lifted my heart. She was blessed.

Posted by: Gouverneur Morris at May 17, 2018 10:30 PM (PHxng)

263 Come to Joe Biden. *eyebrow waggle*

Posted by: flounderbot, rebel, vulgarian, deplorabot, winner at May 17, 2018 10:30 PM (Dp6qK)

264 Ibguy--good to see you here.

Posted by: Ladyl at May 17, 2018 10:30 PM (TdMsT)

265 K. Lol!

Posted by: Cosmic Charlie at May 17, 2018 10:31 PM (PUmDY)

266 Four words?
"I am gainfully employed."

Posted by: Inspector Cussword at May 17, 2018 10:31 PM (c1VpD)

267 Palpatine, does this count as an SMR solution?

A landlord is leasing space to a Russian opening a retail store in California. The contract has a provision that if the store does more business than expected, the rent will increase beyond the initially agreed upon price. After hearing this explained, he waits two minutes in dead silence. He then asks the landlord, "Why you want me keep two sets of books?"

Posted by: Joe Mannix (Not a cop!) at May 17, 2018 10:31 PM (hYcqw)

268 4 words?


Let's do anal tonight

Posted by: Ashley Judd's Puffy Scamper, formerly known as MrCaniac at May 17, 2018 10:31 PM (fdTrp)

269 Bring out the gimp!

Posted by: Walter Freeman at May 17, 2018 10:31 PM (I/iGu)

270 Four words?

Make me a sammich

Posted by: Jaqen H'ghar at May 17, 2018 10:31 PM (5fSr7)

271 Do you like lobster


Posted by: Veto Vaselino at May 17, 2018 10:32 PM (ICWiF)

272 Thanks for the ONT.

Posted by: Aetius451AD Work Laptop at May 17, 2018 10:32 PM (sDsee)

273 the bone roller coaster

Posted by: Quilter's Irish Death at May 17, 2018 10:32 PM (uB9t9)

274 President Trump's administration will announce its plans to cut funding to Planned Parenthood on Friday.

Love that guy.

Posted by: flounderbot, rebel, vulgarian, deplorabot, winner at May 17, 2018 10:33 PM (Dp6qK)

275 @251

I started back up with pencil drawings and got into Urban Sketching as I work in NYC, quickly started to add watercolors as quick way to punch up the sketches.

I carry a sketchbook with me everywhere I go, everyday.

So instead of being on my phone when I'm traveling, I'm sketching people and things.

The hard part is trying to find someone who is doing something other than looking at their damned phones.

Posted by: Kreplach at May 17, 2018 10:33 PM (UfMVm)

276 Seriously guys the four words every girl wants to hear are: Will you marry me?

Posted by: Tuna at May 17, 2018 10:33 PM (jm1YL)

277 Your hair smells great.

Posted by: Uncle Joe Biden at May 17, 2018 10:33 PM (eLZcY)

278
Rolling tomorrow for my assignment in the New River Gorge.


Don't bother with pics of the bridge. It's been done!

Posted by: Spun and Murky at May 17, 2018 10:33 PM (4DCSq)

279 @274

I hear the guys not conservative though.

Posted by: Kreplach at May 17, 2018 10:33 PM (UfMVm)

280 I played with that slider, Publius; it never quite sounds like "yanny" to me. Moving it closer to that end of the scale makes it sound more like "yarry" than "yirry", but I start hearing "laurel" pretty quickly moving the other way.

Intersting little eartical illusion, there!

Posted by: Prothonotary Warbler... now with 23% more Dragon Energy! at May 17, 2018 10:33 PM (wSC8T)

281 Thx, LMD. I'm off to explore.

Posted by: RI Red at May 17, 2018 10:34 PM (l3msd)

282 274. Oh man. They are going to make this a thing.....

Posted by: JoeF. at May 17, 2018 10:34 PM (mc8++)

283 Donnie Baker is single.

This is war Mitchell!

Posted by: Larsen E. Whipsnade at May 17, 2018 10:34 PM (bML9A)

284 What is Urban Sketching?

Posted by: Cosmic Charlie at May 17, 2018 10:34 PM (PUmDY)

285 Forgot the classic. Your place or mine?

Posted by: flounderbot, rebel, vulgarian, deplorabot, winner at May 17, 2018 10:34 PM (Dp6qK)

286 @280: "yirry"

Yuri? Seems we've spotted another Russian bot!

Posted by: Walter Freeman at May 17, 2018 10:34 PM (I/iGu)

287 >276 Seriously guys the four words every girl wants to hear are: Will you marry me?
Posted by: Tuna at May 17, 2018 10:33 PM (jm1YL)



The hell you say.

Posted by: Muad'dib at May 17, 2018 10:34 PM (BJYIf)

288 158 NALNAMSAM

Phrasing!

Also: Why punctuation is, important.

Posted by: ibguy at May 17, 2018 10:35 PM (vUcdz)

289 We were talking in my Grief Share group about forgiveness, particularly in regard to insensitivity or stupidity in response to grief."

Good observations, and it seems to even worse for those who suffer from a chronic illness. People are uncomfortable around them, or act like it's their fault, or wonder why they just won't work harder and get better - on and on, it hurts the one who's already suffering even more. But most people just don't know any better.

Posted by: Tom Servo at May 17, 2018 10:35 PM (V2Yro)

290 The spice must flow.

Posted by: Guild Navigator at May 17, 2018 10:35 PM (t9Wky)

291 276 Seriously guys the four words every girl wants to hear are: Will you marry me?
Posted by: Tuna at May 17, 2018 10:33 PM (jm1YL)



You don't whisper that into her ear.

Posted by: buzzion at May 17, 2018 10:36 PM (lKs2v)

292 4 words
My mother has laryngitis

Posted by: LMD Outer Banker at May 17, 2018 10:36 PM (Vuaet)

293 Alors, ma petite choucroute!

Posted by: Miklos, de la Rue Bourbon at May 17, 2018 10:36 PM (zCyNd)

294 @284

Urban Sketiching is a branch of Plein Air drawing that focuses on drawing in City type Settings primarily.


Posted by: Kreplach at May 17, 2018 10:36 PM (UfMVm)

295 It's fake but accurate.

Posted by: Dan Rather at May 17, 2018 10:37 PM (t9Wky)

296 Okay, now for my work rant/situation...

In my office, we've had some legal documents disappear that my boss needs (or, claims she needs; it's funny how so many items she 'desperately needs' end up sitting on her desk forever, once she gets them).

Yesterday was a bad day at work, because she basically accused me of losing a document, and just openly said, "you don't want to be responsible on your job." She seems to think there are no mistakes, that everything I do is deliberate, and that if I can't help her, it's because I'm too lazy and stupid and careless to really do my job. Getting sick of it.

Anyway, today she was sick and spent a lot of the day with her door closed, so I didn't approach her. I just shut up and did my work. However, when it came time to scan in some new documents, I decided to create a scan log, which lists everything I touch basically. (My job is largely to help manage their online cloud system, and I have the scan inbox on my desk.)

So later on she was searching for yet ANOTHER document that was hopelessly lost, and putting a new coworker of mine through this same ringer, although interestingly my boss wasn't as confrontational with her as she was with me. (This is another problem I've always had, I really feel I've never been treated with a lot of respect at work.)

Finally, even though I knew it could blow up in my face, because my boss HATES for me to have any independent ideas... I showed her the scan log I created, and explained how I believe it could be useful.

Interestingly, she didn't hate it... but she then wanted to know, what were WE going to do to make sure no document *ever again* disappears?

Well, I gave her the obvious answers. I told her I'd be more careful, that I would make sure every document I handle, I handle with integrity (that is, I make sure that no extraneous documents from other cases are mistakenly attached, and I go slow to check this with EVERY document).

Unfortunately that doesn't appear to be good enough. She still basically wants a GUARANTEE that no document will ever be lost in the office, again. How is that even possible?

Anyway, thanks for letting me rant. My belief is that her demands don't really mesh with reality, no matter how much she insists they do and/or can and/or should. And, I want to know how to deal with this and her demands, because I don't want to make the same mistakes on this job I have with others, and end up out of a job. Hope this makes sense.

I am seriously thinking of quitting this job, although I'd love to find another one to replace it beforehand.

Posted by: qdpsteve at May 17, 2018 10:37 PM (eMKNe)

297 Octopuses came to Earth from space as frozen eggs millions of years ago

Pure horseshit. Octopuses are mollusks, like snails, slugs, oysters, scallops, mussels, nudibranchs, conchs and clams. Are THOSE superintelligent alien life forms as well? There is of course zero empirical evidence to support this shite. It is all improvised conjecture meant to save a hypothesis. But that's not science.

Posted by: Steve and Cold Bear at May 17, 2018 10:38 PM (/qEW2)

298 Wow, wall of text. Sorry.

TL;DR: My boss has impossible expectations and I need to know how to handle her moods about it.

Posted by: qdpsteve at May 17, 2018 10:38 PM (eMKNe)

299 Husband was reading the ONT over my shoulder and whispered in my ear...



"I did the dishes."



He's getting laid tonight.



Posted by: moki at May 17, 2018 10:07 PM (V+V4


---

Do y'all have big plans for your one-year wedding anniversary?

Posted by: Moron Robbie - I choose to live my life as a black woman at May 17, 2018 10:38 PM (VgKNm)

300 Walter, maybe I'm actually a Japanese bot. Yuri happens to be the Japanese word for "lily", and this word has also come to stand for lesbo overtones in popular fiction.

I'm not of Japanese descent, but I do have a lot of AmerInd blood and they're also classified as Mongoloids. For all I know, that could be a factor.

Posted by: Prothonotary Warbler... now with 23% more Dragon Energy! at May 17, 2018 10:39 PM (wSC8T)

301 Angel is my kinda girl!

Posted by: The Horse at May 17, 2018 10:39 PM (ZW/qR)

302 Four words

I have a gulfstream.

Posted by: CaliGirl at May 17, 2018 10:39 PM (2DYau)

303 bravo, k.

Posted by: Cosmic Charlie at May 17, 2018 10:40 PM (PUmDY)

304 "Great Sandwich, Sugar Tits"

Posted by: Mr. Peebles at May 17, 2018 10:40 PM (oVJmc)

305 Moving it closer to that end of the scale makes it sound more like "yarry" than "yirry", but I start hearing "laurel" pretty quickly moving the other way."

I think in either version the consonant sounds are mostly imagined. Easy to do, your mind is good at filling in blanks. I've listened carefully, and what most people are calling "laurel" is really just the sounds "ore-eh". L is a very soft consonant when compared to the aspirated consonants, and so is n, which makes them ideal "fill in the blank" letters.

Posted by: Tom Servo at May 17, 2018 10:40 PM (V2Yro)

306 More four-wordies:

"I have a yacht"

"Hope your vagina's real"

"I'm not Bill Cosby"

Posted by: qdpsteve at May 17, 2018 10:40 PM (eMKNe)

307 Posted by: qdpsteve at May 17, 2018 10:37 PM (eMKNe)

You could send Donnie Baker to have a word with her...

Posted by: Miklos, de la Rue Bourbon at May 17, 2018 10:41 PM (zCyNd)

308 225 Muad'dib

Thank you.

Her friends and family on have been leaving incredibly loving tributes on her Caring Bridge.

He,so a lot.

Posted by: ibguy at May 17, 2018 10:41 PM (vUcdz)

309 Posted by: qdpsteve at May 17, 2018 10:38 PM (eMKNe)

Four words. Yo, bitch be buggin'.

Posted by: flounderbot, rebel, vulgarian, deplorabot, winner at May 17, 2018 10:41 PM (Dp6qK)

310 Find another job and tell her to fuck off. Sounds like she has a god complex.

But, that's just me.

Posted by: Infidel at May 17, 2018 10:41 PM (a3OL0)

311 flounderbot, yup.

Posted by: qdpsteve at May 17, 2018 10:41 PM (eMKNe)

312 Who bitch you is?

Posted by: Gamer at May 17, 2018 10:42 PM (t9Wky)

313 Octopuses came to Earth from space as frozen eggs millions of years ago

...But that's not science.
Posted by: Steve and Cold Bear at May 17, 2018 10:38 PM (/qEW2)


No shit?

Posted by: DR.WTF? at May 17, 2018 10:42 PM (T71PA)

314 241 Northernlurker

Thank you.

I'm actually doing better than I'd have thought.

Posted by: ibguy at May 17, 2018 10:42 PM (vUcdz)

315 I've noted that people from the south refer to it as a 'plumber's friend', whereas the northerners call it 'a plunger'.


******


That's curious. I grew up in Colorado, Virginia, Oklahoma, New Mexico and then Colorado. Maybe I have some type of mutt hybrid multiregional dialect, but I sure don't think of myself as a Northener.

Posted by: Muldoon at May 17, 2018 10:42 PM (m45I2)

316 People are uncomfortable around them, or act like it's their fault, or wonder why they just won't work harder and get better - on and on
-----------

AKA 'Comforters of Job'.

Posted by: Mike Hammer, etc, etc. at May 17, 2018 10:43 PM (5OO3x)

317 Infidel, I think you know, but I've mentioned before how liberal she is.

But yes, she is a control freak's control freak. As far as she's concerned it's her office and the only rules are her rules, even if they break all the laws of physics and common sense.

Posted by: qdpsteve at May 17, 2018 10:43 PM (eMKNe)

318 Time for butt stuff!

Posted by: Concerned People's Front at May 17, 2018 10:43 PM (rdl6o)

319
I have a gulfstream.

Every time I hear "gulfstream" I think of a silver trailer.

Posted by: Bertram Cabot, Jr. at May 17, 2018 10:43 PM (IqV8l)

320 Four words: "I can't be indicted."

Posted by: President Donald John Trump at May 17, 2018 10:43 PM (UiRxW)

321 qdpsteve. I knew a female lawyer like that. Thank goodness she was not my boss.
What she is looking for is an insurance policy so that she can always blame someone else. There is no winning here.
Cover your ass or get out of there.

Posted by: RI Red at May 17, 2018 10:43 PM (l3msd)

322 @276: "Will you marry me?"

Sign the damn prenup!

Posted by: Walter Freeman at May 17, 2018 10:43 PM (I/iGu)

323
Here is a visual version of the Laurel Yanny thing, the famous Einstein or Marilyn Monroe picture:

https://preview.tinyurl.com/67nbzx

Looking up close, you see Uncle Al. Now, slowly step back from the image, and you will see it become Marilyn.

Posted by: publius, Rascally Rapscallion of a Poperin Pear at May 17, 2018 10:44 PM (8O3HH)

324 RI Red, thanks. I think that's what I'm going to have to do.

Posted by: qdpsteve at May 17, 2018 10:44 PM (eMKNe)

325 i suppose the "fungi calamari from yuggoth" thesis is testable. Blast Kurt on a rocket to Europa and ask him to take some readings.

Posted by: boulder t'hobo at May 17, 2018 10:44 PM (6FqZa)

326 Four words:

"The antibiotics aren't working."

Posted by: Muldoon at May 17, 2018 10:44 PM (m45I2)

327 The other headache you get sketching in the wilds is a person, not your subject, that is so fucking curious about what your doing that he just has to see what the hell it is that your doing that his actions alert your subject and everything get weird and turns to shit real quick.

I've found that people don't necessarily mind you drawing them if you don't make it too obvious your sketching them.

Posted by: Kreplach at May 17, 2018 10:44 PM (UfMVm)

328 Posted by: qdpsteve at May 17, 2018 10:37 PM (eMKNe)
++++++++++++
I hate to say it, but start looking. A demand for an impossible guarantee is, in my experience, usually a set-up of some kind. Maybe not for now, but something to hold in the back pocket if you're ever "not a team player" or somesuch.

Missing documents or other mistakes are never *good* of course, but mistakes are a fact of life. Someone unwilling to accept that isn't someone who is good to work for. Proposing a solution to the problem that is effective (if flawed) should be embraced - at least until a better solution is found. If you have a general respect problem on top of it, then the signs point to "GTFO."

From my experience, though, I can't agree with you enough - get the next job *before* you quit. For me, starting my job hunt was liberating and actually made my experience at the prior employer a lot more bearable while I was sorting out options.

Just my $0.02. I ain't no pro at this.

Posted by: Joe Mannix (Not a cop!) at May 17, 2018 10:45 PM (hYcqw)

329 ok, the OIG report is #2 in a series of at least 3.

It deals with hillary's crooked emails.

There's plenty of fun that can be had there. But everyone's gonna be really waiting for #3, the FISA warrant review.

Posted by: anon proxy server needs women at May 17, 2018 10:45 PM (sB8d1)

330 4 words: your sister is hot.

Posted by: anon proxy server needs women at May 17, 2018 10:45 PM (sB8d1)

331 L is a very soft consonant when compared to the aspirated consonants, and so is n, which makes them ideal "fill in the blank" letters.

Posted by: Tom Servo at May 17, 2018 10:40 PM (V2Yro)

I have another one for yas.

Go to the line in Pink Floyd's Another Brick in the Wall Part 2, and what do you hear.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YzEvoES6Pao

You, yes, you, stand still laddy. -or-

In, get, in, then, get away, then.


It's really weird on the audio CD with headphones.


Posted by: flounderbot, rebel, vulgarian, deplorabot, winner at May 17, 2018 10:45 PM (Dp6qK)

332 What's funny is, this boss is a *lot* like most of my family members, who *never* admit anything is their fault. It's always either someone else's fault, and/or *they* were misunderstood by stupid ol' me.

My mom, whom I love dearly, is way too much like that. She can tell me "you can't save money!" in one minute, and then when I get upset, claim she never said it, only another minute later.

Posted by: qdpsteve at May 17, 2018 10:45 PM (eMKNe)

333 TL;DR: My boss has impossible expectations and I need to know how to handle her moods about it."

You already answered your question. Start looking for a new job and get the hell out of that one. Nothing you do will ever make her happy, and it sounds like she's already picked you as the scapegoat for anything that goes wrong.

Or maybe you can outlast her, but I have no idea of your work situation and don't need to. I'll just say that one time I worked at a badly managed place, where I frequently clashed with the managers - but 5 of those managers ended up getting themselves fired over 7 years.

(they were idiots, mostly, and they pissed off the people they were reporting to just as much as they were pissing me off)

Posted by: Tom Servo at May 17, 2018 10:45 PM (V2Yro)

334 Yes, I forgive you.

Posted by: SMH in wonder at May 17, 2018 10:46 PM (UiGQV)

335 *lights go dim in the arena*

*Copperhead Road starts playing over the PA*

*spotlight hits the heel's curtain*

*ScoggDog - World's Heavyweight Sarcasm Champion - starts walkin' down the aisle*

Posted by: ScoggDog at May 17, 2018 10:46 PM (fiGNd)

336 Joe Mannix, thanks. I agree with everything you wrote.

Posted by: qdpsteve at May 17, 2018 10:46 PM (eMKNe)

337 I think you are talking about liquid plunger.

Posted by: Cosmic Charlie at May 17, 2018 10:46 PM (PUmDY)

338 "How about those Rockies?"

Posted by: Emmie at May 17, 2018 10:46 PM (/A+Cl)

339 A brief and disturbing vid on East Bloc justice.

https://youtu.be/g2QiUWsU4UI

The Warsaw Pact didn't have gulags. The whole fucking thing was a gulag.

Posted by: Your Decidedly Devious Uncle Palpatine, Slavic Customer Service Rep. at May 17, 2018 10:47 PM (fA1SL)

340 Tom Servo, thanks and I agree.

I don't think this woman is ever going to leave, or be given the heave-ho. She's way too chummy with the owner of the firm.

Posted by: qdpsteve at May 17, 2018 10:47 PM (eMKNe)

341 The guy is clearly saying Yanny. BUT I rewound it once to relisten and I heard Laurel and it freaks me out.

My feeling is that there's some sort of negative brain space thing going on here...like the verbal brain equivalent of looking at a bright image and seeing the obverse residually when you look away.

So, the opposite of Yanny is Laurel, who knew?

But serious though...I heard Yanny. I listed to it repeated about 12-20 times, I heard Laurel 3 times. and it haunts me bc it's clearly fucking a guy saying yanny.

Posted by: anon proxy server needs women at May 17, 2018 10:47 PM (sB8d1)

342 I'm packed and ready to leave for my heart ablation on Friday morning. Have to be at the hospital by 7:30 a.m. for a procedure lasting around 3 to 4 hours "or so."

Had some leftover decaf coffee beans, small amounts of a few varieties. Made a "house blend" of Frangelica and Costa Rican. Also some Uruguayan chicharon bread, a slightly salty bread with lots of little pieces of crispy and chewy fried pig. It's not a 'sliced with butter' bread nor is it made for sammiches. It's a 'tear a piece off and eat it' bread, naked as is. Great with coffee. So that's my last meal before The Pumpkin Bewitching Hour, when I have to fast. Then a shower.

An overnight stay after the procedure, for which I'm thankful. I hadn't realized I'd be under anesthesia for that long a period of time. For most people, it's an outpatient procedure. But my heart is far from 'normal'.

So don't get drunk and trash the place Friday. But if you do get drunk, don't trash the place. If you do get drunk and trash the place, remember: Hire illegals for the clean-up that Americans won't do because Americans know -- The Barrel, especially the bottom of one. That message brought to you by Dems, RINOs and the CofC. The EU votes 'yea', as well.

A P.S.A.: You're only helping the globalists when you get drunk and trash this place. So be nice to the hamsters. We know what happens when the hamsters go on strike: Massive withdrawal, that is, hitting the refresh key like a monkey on crack.

Posted by: RickZ at May 17, 2018 10:48 PM (zRegE)

343 'sup Scogg?

Posted by: SMH at May 17, 2018 10:48 PM (UiGQV)

344 "Hillary's going to prison."

Posted by: Emmie at May 17, 2018 10:48 PM (/A+Cl)

345
Take us to your beaver!

Posted by: The Octopuses at May 17, 2018 10:48 PM (9q7Dl)

346 "From my experience, though, I can't agree with you enough - get the next job *before* you quit. For me, starting my job hunt was liberating and actually made my experience at the prior employer a lot more bearable while I was sorting out options.

Just my $0.02. I ain't no pro at this."

I'm precarious at my job and this seems like good advice.

Posted by: anon proxy server needs women at May 17, 2018 10:48 PM (sB8d1)

347 Four words: "Test came back negative".

Posted by: Prothonotary Warbler... now with 23% more Dragon Energy! at May 17, 2018 10:48 PM (wSC8T)

348 Just my $0.02. I ain't no pro at this.

Posted by: Joe Mannix (Not a cop!) at May 17, 2018 10:45 PM (hYcqw)

This. Even if it is not a set up, some people just get off making other people miserable with impossible demands, because they are miserable people. I would start looking.

Posted by: flounderbot, rebel, vulgarian, deplorabot, winner at May 17, 2018 10:48 PM (Dp6qK)

349 Skogg, you are enfuego today.

Posted by: Infidel at May 17, 2018 10:49 PM (a3OL0)

350 Scogg is in the House!

Posted by: RI Red at May 17, 2018 10:49 PM (l3msd)

351 From Iowahawk ten days ago, the four words are "your friends are fat."

Posted by: RTW at May 17, 2018 10:49 PM (jJlJu)

352 All I hear is 'Kill Your Parents.'

Posted by: Mr. Peebles at May 17, 2018 10:49 PM (oVJmc)

353 Okay, I hate to go all psycho-analyst on you, but something you just wrote made me go BINGO!!!! Now I understand the dynamic!!!

"My mom, whom I love dearly, is way too much like that. She can tell me "you can't save money!" in one minute, and then when I get upset, claim she never said it, only another minute later."

You just told all of us that this woman boss is treating you the way your mother treats you, and undoubtedly you're putting up with it because you've been conditioned for years and years to put up with that kind of treatment.

Most anyone would have told that office hag to piss off and walked away from that job already.

Posted by: Tom Servo at May 17, 2018 10:49 PM (V2Yro)

354 4 words. I'm cooking dinner tonight.

Posted by: PaleRider is simply irredeemable at May 17, 2018 10:49 PM (eASYU)

355 anon and flounderbot, agreed and thanks.

Posted by: qdpsteve at May 17, 2018 10:49 PM (eMKNe)

356 RickZ, best wishes for your procedure.

Posted by: Emmie at May 17, 2018 10:49 PM (/A+Cl)

357 "I caught the mouse."

Posted by: bluebell at May 17, 2018 10:50 PM (oMtOd)

358 Maybe I have some type of mutt hybrid multiregional dialect, but I sure don't think of myself as a Northener.
Posted by: Muldoon
-------------

Here's the rule: If you're from north of Beaufort County, SC, then, yer Yankee.

The 'plunger' vs. 'plumber's friend' thing, is just something I've noticed in it's rare discussion.

Posted by: Mike Hammer, etc, etc. at May 17, 2018 10:50 PM (y3sT9)

359 Posted by: RickZ at May 17, 2018 10:48 PM (zRegE)

I don't know what a heart ablation is, but best wishes for you. We will take care of trashing the place while you are away.

Posted by: flounderbot, rebel, vulgarian, deplorabot, winner at May 17, 2018 10:50 PM (Dp6qK)

360 Oops.

Sorry. Sorry. It's hard to talk with these mollusky beaks.

One more time....


Take us to Ward Cleaver!

Posted by: The Octopuses at May 17, 2018 10:50 PM (9q7Dl)

361 "The spider is dead."

Posted by: Prothonotary Warbler... now with 23% more Dragon Energy! at May 17, 2018 10:50 PM (wSC8T)

362 http://bit.ly/2KxNrYo
+++++
NTERCEPTED DEEP STATE PRIVATE CHAT: Rosenstein Was Blackmailed Into Appointing Mueller - Big League Politics

Posted by: Schneidermans Brown Slave at May 17, 2018 10:51 PM (y3aQB)

363 "I am not rich"

Posted by: anon proxy server needs women at May 17, 2018 10:51 PM (sB8d1)

364 'I caught the mouse'

That never works with women when I say it

Posted by: richard gere at May 17, 2018 10:51 PM (6FqZa)

365 "Pickle jar is open."

Posted by: Prothonotary Warbler... now with 23% more Dragon Energy! at May 17, 2018 10:51 PM (wSC8T)

366 Prayers up, RickZ.

Posted by: SMH at May 17, 2018 10:51 PM (UiGQV)

367 "The rabbit didn't die"

Posted by: Joe Mannix (Not a cop!) at May 17, 2018 10:52 PM (hYcqw)

368 314 241 Northernlurker

Thank you.

I'm actually doing better than I'd have thought.
Posted by: ibguy at May 17, 2018 10:42 PM (vUcdz)

You're welcome brother.

Posted by: Northernlurker but call me Teem. at May 17, 2018 10:52 PM (nBr1j)

369 four words:

"do you wanna dance?"

Posted by: booknlass at May 17, 2018 10:52 PM (uJ09Y)

370 "The rash cleared up."

Posted by: Prothonotary Warbler... now with 23% more Dragon Energy! at May 17, 2018 10:52 PM (wSC8T)

371 'plumber's friend' certainly sounds more amiable.

Posted by: Muldoon at May 17, 2018 10:52 PM (m45I2)

372 Documents go missing. That's what they do. Sandy Berger made some disappear from a freaking classified reading room at the National Archives. You'll ever figure out better security and verification at your workplace than they had.

Bottom line, if your boss goes mental someday, then more of her documents will go missing, she'll blame whomever for whatever reason she wants, and there's really nothing you or anyone else can do about it.

*shrugs*

Posted by: Walter Freeman at May 17, 2018 10:52 PM (I/iGu)

373 {{{ibguy}}}

Posted by: SMH at May 17, 2018 10:52 PM (UiGQV)

374 Ginger Thursday ONT Compliance Pics

https://twitter.com/kbdabear/status/997170574995673088

https://twitter.com/kbdabear/status/997170674509770752

https://twitter.com/kbdabear/status/997170764666343425

https://twitter.com/kbdabear/status/997170855879864320

Posted by: kbdabear at May 17, 2018 10:53 PM (eh0Va)

375 Ibguy, you and Joyce and your families have been in my prayers.

Posted by: Emmie at May 17, 2018 10:53 PM (/A+Cl)

376 http://bit.ly/2KBKTbZ
+++++
Scoop: Gina Haspel Knows About Brennan and Comey's Russia/Trump Setup - Big League Politics

Posted by: Schneidermans Brown Slave at May 17, 2018 10:53 PM (y3aQB)

377 More four-wordies from qdpsteve:

"How 'bout some pizza?"

"I'm directing a movie"

"Are you wearing pantyhose?"

Posted by: qdpsteve at May 17, 2018 10:53 PM (eMKNe)

378 "can your friend watch?"

Posted by: t-bird at May 17, 2018 10:53 PM (5OO3x)

379
All I hear is 'Kill Your Parents.'

That's what my dog says.

Posted by: David Berkowitz at May 17, 2018 10:53 PM (IqV8l)

380 Love the news about Gina Haspel.

Eat shit and die, Kamala Harris!

Posted by: qdpsteve at May 17, 2018 10:53 PM (eMKNe)

381 373 SMH

Thank you, dear lady.

Posted by: ibguy at May 17, 2018 10:53 PM (vUcdz)

382 I'm hitting the shower.

Both a true statement, and four words women like to hear.

Especially if you need one, and you're close enough to be whispering in her ear.

Posted by: Yudhishthira's Dice at May 17, 2018 10:53 PM (UiRxW)

383 "that's never happened before"

Posted by: t-bird at May 17, 2018 10:53 PM (5OO3x)

384 More Ginger Thursday ONT Compliance Pics

https://twitter.com/kbdabear/status/997170950142595073

https://twitter.com/kbdabear/status/997171043822456833

https://twitter.com/kbdabear/status/997171143013470208

https://twitter.com/kbdabear/status/997171244947689478

Posted by: kbdabear at May 17, 2018 10:54 PM (eh0Va)

385

"Peg My Butt Tonight"

Posted by: Pando Calrission at May 17, 2018 10:54 PM (AyGZp)

386 Pando, that's a great song by Eddie Money

Posted by: qdpsteve at May 17, 2018 10:54 PM (eMKNe)

387 you didn't spill any!

Posted by: yankeefifth at May 17, 2018 10:54 PM (MTjB1)

388 swallow it all baby!

Posted by: yankeefifth at May 17, 2018 10:55 PM (MTjB1)

389 Posted by: RickZ at May 17, 2018 10:48 PM (zRegE)

Prayers sent.

My mother has had cardiac ablation twice. It is really a miracle. A-fib.?

Posted by: CaliGirl at May 17, 2018 10:55 PM (2DYau)

390 "Hola, Seniorita! Fiesta! Fiesta!"

Posted by: Joe Mannix (Not a cop!) at May 17, 2018 10:55 PM (hYcqw)

391 Here, hold my beer

Posted by: Miklos, romantic at heart at May 17, 2018 10:55 PM (zCyNd)

392 Hmm. Four words, eh?

"My wallet barely folds"

Posted by: Mark Andrew Edwards We Didn't Start the Beaver at May 17, 2018 10:55 PM (xJa6I)

393 Bottom line, if your boss goes mental someday, then more of her documents will go missing, she'll blame whomever for whatever reason she wants, and there's really nothing you or anyone else can do about it. "

Acually, now I'm thinking with that log-in system and tracking system Steve came up with, he can cover his ass pretty well. Make sure that *everything* he ever touches is all documented and nailed down.

And once that is accomplished, the icing on the cake will be looking for opportunities to make other people's docs "disapear", while of course making sure not to be seen doing it. Icing on the cake would be if one could get some of the Boss's docs to disapear, things only SHE had touched. That should bring on real Captain Queeg moment! But it's hard to do, gotta be careful.

Posted by: Tom Servo at May 17, 2018 10:56 PM (V2Yro)

394 Ibguy, I add my condolences to those of the others. We have all been blessed by being invited on this journey with Joyce. May she rest in peace, and may God bring peace and comfort to you and the rest of the family.

Posted by: bluebell at May 17, 2018 10:56 PM (oMtOd)

395 Just like Ronnie said. Big fan

Posted by: Cosmic Charlie at May 17, 2018 10:56 PM (PUmDY)

396 And ibguy, I'm so sorry. I hope she passed peacefully and without too much discomfort or pain.

Posted by: Mark Andrew Edwards We Didn't Start the Beaver at May 17, 2018 10:57 PM (xJa6I)

397 Plumber's helper is the way I heard it.

Posted by: RI Red at May 17, 2018 10:57 PM (l3msd)

398

"Reggie, Go Faster, Harder"

Posted by: Pando Calrission at May 17, 2018 10:57 PM (AyGZp)

399 Tom Servo, LOL.

I wouldn't put it past her at this point, to just accuse me of lying if another situation comes up. "Just because your log lists it doesn't mean you knew what you were doing!"

Hopefully by that time I won't need the job as badly. :-) (Seriously, after this summer, I'll have more flexibility with my budget...)

Posted by: qdpsteve at May 17, 2018 10:58 PM (eMKNe)

400 ONT-"I won the Powerball."

Posted by: ChupaMe at May 17, 2018 10:58 PM (qE3QB)

401 Hey SMH ... good to see you back. Glad the move is suiting you.

Howdy peeps. Red. Infidel. All the Legion of Gloom-A-Maniacs out there.

Woo.

ScoggDog, the RedNeck Boy, THE World's Heavyweight Sarcasm Champion, is heading out this weekend to defend The Ten Pounds of Shit in The House of the Rising Sun, the Den of the Yellow Menace, Japan. I'll be taking my $10 Wranglers, my $15 Hi-Viz Tee, these work boots ... You see these work boots, sweat hog - these cost more than you'll spend at McDonald's before you buy desert - Off the Rack from Head to Toe. And ALL the little Asian Ladies will be saying "Konichiwa, Gloom Mountain".

Because when you ride Gloom Mountain ... it's a Ten Minute Ride.

So like it ... or hate it ... but learn to love it ... because it's the White Trashiest Thing Goin' Today.

Wooooo.

Posted by: ScoggDog at May 17, 2018 10:58 PM (fiGNd)

402 What does Christopher Plummer's personal assistant have to do with anything?

Posted by: Mr. Peebles at May 17, 2018 10:58 PM (oVJmc)

403 ibguy, I am so sorry for your loss

thank you for sharing her with us

Posted by: votermom pimping NEW Moron-authored books! at May 17, 2018 10:58 PM (hMwEB)

404 BREAKING

Mueller team determines that cabin boys did not eat strawberries

Posted by: Cub Reporter Miklos at May 17, 2018 10:58 PM (zCyNd)

405 But seriously Tom, I appreciate that you like my system. I don't know what else I can do.

I guess she can install security cameras and spy on us all day long.

Posted by: qdpsteve at May 17, 2018 10:58 PM (eMKNe)

406 LOL Scogg!

Posted by: SMH at May 17, 2018 10:59 PM (UiGQV)

407 But on the other hand, a plunging neckline sounds much more appealing than a plumber's crack.

Posted by: Muldoon at May 17, 2018 11:00 PM (m45I2)

408 Walter Freeman, I agree. Thanks.

Posted by: qdpsteve at May 17, 2018 11:01 PM (eMKNe)

409 qdpsteve-

Is your boss named Mitchell?

Posted by: Donnie Baker, Esq. at May 17, 2018 11:01 PM (zCyNd)

410 "Hola, Seniorita! Fiesta! Fiesta!"
---
"Si, si... Mas tequila!"

Posted by: La Mentirosa at May 17, 2018 11:01 PM (UiRxW)

411 .....Money on the dresser!(four words)

Posted by: TN VOLUNTEER at May 17, 2018 11:02 PM (NDRcc)

412 I know Helena! WTF......he is royally GOPe!

Posted by: westminsterdogshow at May 17, 2018 11:02 PM (mMeIQ)

413 In any event, I have a suggestion for the author of this article. Why don't we break up the US into autonomous administrative districts, say 50 or so, and, except for in a few, specifically enumerated cases where these districts need to be represented as a whole to the rest of the world, let each of them be sovereign over the people and lands they encompass? I think there's something to this idea, we should explore it further.

LOL. WeirdDave ... for the win!

Posted by: ThePrimordialOrderedPair at May 17, 2018 11:03 PM (gyfiU)

414 Documents go missing. That's what they do. Sandy Berger made some disappear from a freaking classified reading room at the National Archives. You'll ever figure out better security and verification at your workplace than they had.
-----------

A very close friend of mine once gave me a sealed box of documents. The instructions were simple. "Secure these for me. I may ask you to destroy them."

In the end, that is what happened. I have no idea what they were, and I've never asked.

Posted by: Mike Hammer, etc, etc. at May 17, 2018 11:03 PM (nBBdT)

415 BREAKING

Mueller team determines that cabin boys did not eat strawberries
Posted by: Cub Reporter Miklos at May 17, 2018 10:58 PM (zCyNd)
---
Curses. I thought I had the culprits cold!

Posted by: Bill Kristol at May 17, 2018 11:03 PM (UiRxW)

416 Sang. Be My Little Baby, Take .Me Home Tonight

Posted by: Cosmic Charlie at May 17, 2018 11:03 PM (PUmDY)

417 "Nice shoes, wanna fuck?"

Posted by: Octopussy at May 17, 2018 11:03 PM (Z/SH6)

418 413 In any event, I have a suggestion for the author of this article. Why don't we break up the US into autonomous administrative districts, say 50 or so, and, except for in a few, specifically enumerated cases where these districts need to be represented as a whole to the rest of the world, let each of them be sovereign over the people and lands they encompass? I think there's something to this idea, we should explore it further.

LOL. WeirdDave ... for the win!
Posted by: ThePrimordialOrderedPair at May 17, 2018 11:03 PM (gyfiU)

I would also support WD's recommendation, say at a convention or other gathering.

Posted by: Mark Andrew Edwards We Didn't Start the Beaver at May 17, 2018 11:04 PM (xJa6I)

419 Four words ?

"This car ? Paid cash."

Posted by: ScoggDog at May 17, 2018 11:04 PM (fiGNd)

420 Donny, nope. :-)
Not Mueller either. (Thank God, I have yet to ever hear her say "It's Mueller time!")

I will also say, I lost a lot of respect for the main attorney, the big boss. She came in a few days ago... in a CHE GUEVARA SHIRT. It wasn't an ironic one either.

I was staring at it, wishing I had more balls. I would have liked to say to her, "hey, that's a great shirt. Do you have any others with Hitler or Stalin on them?"

Good fucking grief. People can be such idjits it drives me absolutely insane.

Posted by: qdpsteve at May 17, 2018 11:04 PM (eMKNe)

421 I has thunk and thunk and thunk some more. I know the bestest four words:

'I brought the tequila."

Posted by: LadyTheo, everyone looks better through a bottle of the good stuff at May 17, 2018 11:04 PM (X+6iw)

422 Thanks, everyone.

I don't know what a heart ablation is, but best wishes for you. We will take care of trashing the place while you are away.

Posted by: flounderbot, rebel, vulgarian, deplorabot, winner at May 17, 2018 10:50 PM (Dp6qK)

An ablation is where they stick a laser up through your thigh to the heart. Once there, they burn off dead tissue and try to get rid of some of the scarring. My heart is at 50% power, so I'm aided by a pacemaker with defibrillator paddles included, an ICD. So this procedure is a very good thing and a marvel of modern medical technology. Simply amazing what they can do today -- pretty much in all fields of medicine.

Posted by: RickZ at May 17, 2018 11:04 PM (zRegE)

423

"It Touches The Water"

Posted by: Pando Calrission at May 17, 2018 11:05 PM (AyGZp)

424 But on the other hand, a plunging neckline sounds much more appealing than a plumber's crack.
Posted by: Muldoon
-------------

Sez you.

Posted by: Shep at May 17, 2018 11:05 PM (58eZn)

425 There is no real mystery to the Laurel or Yanni thing. If you have ever been to an audiologist, part of the hearing test involves someone you can't see reading a list of words to you, and you tell them what words you hear. Depending on what frequencies your hearing has degraded in, certain words are misinterpreted in different ways.

The sounds that make up words run the gamut of different frequencies. My wife and I are both hard of hearing, and sometimes we completely misinterpreted each other (At least that's my excuse.).

It's a wonder hillary, comey, et al haven't thought of that excuse yet!

Posted by: No Longer Suberranean JT at May 17, 2018 11:05 PM (S23KT)

426 Scogg, I know you'll be the champion shit kicker this weekend.

Good luck, not that you'll need it.

Posted by: Mark Andrew Edwards We Didn't Start the Beaver at May 17, 2018 11:05 PM (xJa6I)

427 "It Touches The Water"

Posted by: Pando Calrission at May 17, 2018 11:05 PM (AyGZp)


"And It Deep, Too"

Posted by: ThePrimordialOrderedPair at May 17, 2018 11:06 PM (gyfiU)

428 296 Okay, now for my work rant/situation..

Highly recommend the book, "Never split the difference: negotiating as if your life depended on it"

When people ask for unreasonable things, let them know what it would cost to provide them in very simple terms. To never lose a document would require triple redundancy, etc.

Posted by: IanDeal at May 17, 2018 11:06 PM (5mrLG)

429 In the end, that is what happened. I have no idea what they were, and I've never asked.

Posted by: Mike Hammer, etc, etc. at May 17, 2018 11:03 PM (nBBdT)


Here ... have a beer. With my compliments.

That's a friend move. That's why a small circle of friends is the best.

Posted by: ScoggDog at May 17, 2018 11:07 PM (fiGNd)

430 IanDeal, yup. Thanks.

Posted by: qdpsteve at May 17, 2018 11:07 PM (eMKNe)

431 Shit ... thanks Mark.

I hate that fucking island. All of it. It's no Thailand ... but gawd, I hate it.

Posted by: ScoggDog at May 17, 2018 11:09 PM (fiGNd)

432 Hey wds!!

Stupid Cory G.... *mutters*


Hi lin-duh, my [very slow in threads lately] self will be in TX in October, barring any SMOD-level distractions.

Posted by: Helena Handbotsket at May 17, 2018 11:09 PM (0ReGO)

433 OT, but why not? It's the OONT; thank you, Wierd One.
2013 sucked for me. My mother died. My secretary died. My best friend died.
Among best friend's effects was a bottle of Hennessy V.S. Cognac. It's been sitting on my desk for five years.
Cleaning house today, Mrs. Red asked what it was.
I brought it downstairs to the liquor locker today and I'm sipping it tonight.
A lot has passed in five years. Some bad, but a lot of good.
AoS is one of the goods. I'm toasting you all tonight.

Posted by: RI Red at May 17, 2018 11:09 PM (l3msd)

434 "It's me, Tonto Goldstein!"

Posted by: Octopussy at May 17, 2018 11:09 PM (Z/SH6)

435 Four words ?
"This car ? Paid cash."
Posted by: ScoggDog


That works great if you're referring to a red 2018 Ferrari.

If you're pointing to the 1974 LTD with most of the paint flaked off and a caved-in roof, OTOH...

Posted by: qdpsteve at May 17, 2018 11:09 PM (eMKNe)

436 In the end, that is what happened. I have no idea what they were, and I've never asked.

Posted by: Mike Hammer, etc, etc. at May 17, 2018 11:03 PM (nBBdT)

So how is Hill these days? I mean really?

Posted by: Miklos fights for YOU!!! at May 17, 2018 11:10 PM (zCyNd)

437 I really hope "I own this condo" works.

Posted by: Prothonotary Warbler... now with 23% more Dragon Energy! at May 17, 2018 11:10 PM (wSC8T)

438 I'll raise a glass back at ya, Red.

Posted by: Joe Mannix (Not a cop!) at May 17, 2018 11:10 PM (hYcqw)

439 "The hump? What hump?"

Posted by: Eyegore at May 17, 2018 11:11 PM (zCyNd)

440 @428: "To never lose a document would require triple redundancy, etc."

Indeed, and I suspect telling her to "duplicate your own fucking documents before passing them off to me for scanning so you always have a backup copy" wouldn't bode well for qdpsteve's job in the long run.

Posted by: Walter Freeman at May 17, 2018 11:11 PM (I/iGu)

441 I've got a hump. In my pants.

Posted by: qdpsteve at May 17, 2018 11:11 PM (eMKNe)

442 I'm sorry for your loss, ibguy.

Posted by: Prothonotary Warbler... now with 23% more Dragon Energy! at May 17, 2018 11:11 PM (wSC8T)

443 "I'm the HOA President"

Posted by: Eyegore at May 17, 2018 11:12 PM (zCyNd)

444 4 words

'That's no cue ball'

Posted by: A dude in MI at May 17, 2018 11:12 PM (SxBH1)

445 If you're pointing to the 1974 LTD with most of the paint flaked off and a caved-in roof, OTOH...

Posted by: qdpsteve at May 17, 2018 11:09 PM (eMKNe)


Oh shit ... that is so friggin' funny.

My first car was a '78 LTD. Red w/ white rag top.

In '89.

Posted by: ScoggDog at May 17, 2018 11:12 PM (fiGNd)

446 If you're pointing to the 1974 LTD with most of the paint flaked off and a caved-in roof, OTOH...
Posted by: qdpsteve at May 17, 2018 11:09 PM (eMKNe)
+++++++
Make it an '86 LTD and I'll consider it. Those mid-eighties Vics are getting hard to find.

Posted by: Joe Mannix (Not a cop!) at May 17, 2018 11:12 PM (hYcqw)

447 Walter Freeman, exactly.
She wants the security without the work or the cost. This is a problem I've had with a ton of bosses. They want everything both ways.

Posted by: qdpsteve at May 17, 2018 11:12 PM (eMKNe)

448 What's your sisters number?

Posted by: buzzsaw90 at May 17, 2018 11:13 PM (vChNs)

449 She wants the security without the work or the cost. This is a problem I've had with a ton of bosses. They want everything both ways.
Posted by: qdpsteve at May 17, 2018 11:12 PM (eMKNe)
+++++++
Ah, yes. Right up there with "These are your 40 top priorities" syndrome.

Posted by: Joe Mannix (Not a cop!) at May 17, 2018 11:14 PM (hYcqw)

450 "Is your friend single?"

Posted by: Prothonotary Warbler... now with 23% more Dragon Energy! at May 17, 2018 11:14 PM (wSC8T)

451 Scogg, thanks. Joe, had no idea those were worth something.

Posted by: qdpsteve at May 17, 2018 11:14 PM (eMKNe)

452 Simply amazing what they can do today -- pretty much in all fields of medicine.
Posted by: RickZ at May 17, 2018 11:04 PM (zRegE)

Wow! So more machine than human, now. God speed.

Posted by: flounder, rebel, vulgarian, deplorable, winner at May 17, 2018 11:14 PM (Dp6qK)

453 'I brought the tequila."
Posted by: LadyTheo, everyone looks better through a bottle of the good stuff at May 17, 2018 11:04 PM (X+6iw)

Hang on... are you that mentirosa at 410?

Posted by: Mellow Man Ace at May 17, 2018 11:15 PM (UiRxW)

454 "Bigger'n a baby's arm."

Posted by: Prothonotary Warbler... now with 23% more Dragon Energy! at May 17, 2018 11:15 PM (wSC8T)

455 Joe, had no idea those were worth something.
Posted by: qdpsteve at May 17, 2018 11:14 PM (eMKNe)
++++++++
They aren't worth squat and they were mostly scrapped. Thus their newfound rarity. Most of them are junk. I bought a Town Car instead - built on the same platform, the world is lousy with them and most of them were owned by cautious old folks or fleets, so maintenance has usually been performed.

Posted by: Joe Mannix (Not a cop!) at May 17, 2018 11:16 PM (hYcqw)

456 431 Shit ... thanks Mark.

I hate that fucking island. All of it. It's no Thailand ... but gawd, I hate it.
Posted by: ScoggDog at May 17, 2018 11:09 PM (fiGNd)

Japan is weird, all right.

Try to see some of the sights outside Tokyo if you have time. Scare the hell out of 'em

Posted by: Mark Andrew Edwards We Didn't Start the Beaver at May 17, 2018 11:16 PM (xJa6I)

457
I blame Mitchell.

Sefton's finally off the hook.

Posted by: IllTemperedCur at May 17, 2018 11:17 PM (eXA4G)

458 The additional federal crimes the conspirators committed in attacking the Jawbreakers comic book publication:

1. Conspiracy in restraint of trade (a felony) violation of 15 U.S. Code 1. $1,000,000 fine for each individual involved plus a 10 year all expenses paid stay at Club Fed.

2. Conspiracy to oppress (1st amendment freedom of the press) rights - a felony violation of 18 U.S. Code 241 which carries another 10 year stay at Club Fed - plus unspecified fines.

In addition 42 U.S. Code 1985 (3) says the conspirators are financially liable for their actions to deny him his publication rights.



Posted by: An Observation at May 17, 2018 11:17 PM (pam24)

459 Joe, no one ever accused me of knowing anything about cars :-)

Posted by: qdpsteve at May 17, 2018 11:18 PM (eMKNe)

460 "Make America great again."

Posted by: Prothonotary Warbler... now with 23% more Dragon Energy! at May 17, 2018 11:18 PM (wSC8T)

461 "door's closed-light's off"

Posted by: Miklos recalling classic blonde jokes at May 17, 2018 11:19 PM (zCyNd)

462 Ibguy, my condolences, again.

Posted by: flounder, rebel, vulgarian, deplorable, winner at May 17, 2018 11:19 PM (Dp6qK)

463 qdpsteve, the way the office never loses a document - after you scan, it goes into a vault and nobody ever touches it again! They just use the electronic copy.

I'll just send the consultation fee to your boss.

Posted by: votermom pimping NEW Moron-authored books! at May 17, 2018 11:19 PM (hMwEB)

464
4 words every girl wants to hear?

No Pre Nuptual Agreement

Fuck you. If I say it's four words, it's four words.

Posted by: IllTemperedCur at May 17, 2018 11:20 PM (eXA4G)

465 Joe, no one ever accused me of knowing anything about cars :-)
Posted by: qdpsteve at May 17, 2018 11:18 PM (eMKNe)
++++++++++
I got an ad-hoc education. I was hit by the brick wall of reality when I found out how hard it is to get a mid-eighties Vic in acceptable condition. I started hunting for alternatives and ended up finding out that I love the Lincoln Town Car. Buying it was a big mistake, though, because I never want to be without one. They're out of production now and the thought of buying a spare crossed my mind - before I realized how batshit insane that would be. I don't even own a garage...

Posted by: Joe Mannix (Not a cop!) at May 17, 2018 11:20 PM (hYcqw)

466 votermom, I'm sure they'll love getting it ;-)

I would think that's what they'd do, but no. Both my bosses have a fetish for handling originals.

Posted by: qdpsteve at May 17, 2018 11:20 PM (eMKNe)

467 good evening horde. How is everyone?

Posted by: TickledPink at May 17, 2018 11:20 PM (TL2pK)

468 I'll just send the consultation fee to your boss.

==

send the bill for

Posted by: votermom pimping NEW Moron-authored books! at May 17, 2018 11:20 PM (hMwEB)

469 Mike Connors, starring in Mannix!

A Qunn-Martin Production.



Ellen DeGeneris, starring in Mannish!


A Quim Mewling Production.




Jim
Sunk New Dawn
Galveston, TX

Posted by: Jim at May 17, 2018 11:21 PM (QzJWU)

470 I have a female relative who constantly accuses people of taking her things. (btw she is a very disorganized person most of the time) When its something important, she REALLY starts to freak out about it. Not long ago she called me because she was having a panic attack because someone had stolen her keys from her house, and she whoever it was was going to come back and do Terrible Things when she was by herself or something. Wanted me to help her track down who it was and rekey the whole house or something.

Me: Now you're sure you didn't just misplace them? Did you look around?
Her: Of COURSE I looked around! I knew EXACTLY where I put them! And then some people were over and they were gone!!!! I know they did it!!
Me: You looked in the obvious places like under the sofa cushions, right?
Her: Stop saying that! You're not taking me seriously! I don't know if I can even stay here, I feel threatened and unsafe now!!!"
Me: Okay, I'll come over, let me see what I can do.
(30 minutes later)
Her: You took so long, you couldn't get her sooner??
Me. Sigh. (I put my hand under the sofa cushion, feel something metal.) Here's your keys. They were under the sofa cushion. Can I go now?
Her: (imitates a goldfish)

Posted by: Tom Servo at May 17, 2018 11:21 PM (V2Yro)

471 Japan is weird, all right.

Posted by: Mark Andrew Edwards We Didn't Start the Beaver at May 17, 2018 11:16 PM (xJa6I)


I hate ... HATE ... going anywhere in that place.

Nah ... I'm just going to hit the job, the hotel gym, and whatever 7/11 (they seem to have plenty) that I can get beer at.

Posted by: ScoggDog at May 17, 2018 11:21 PM (fiGNd)

472 Joe, fair enough.

They don't make 'em like they did in the 70s anymore. (Which makes me both sigh *and* say, thank God.)

Posted by: qdpsteve at May 17, 2018 11:21 PM (eMKNe)

473 Posted by: Jim at May 17, 2018 11:21 PM (QzJWU)
++++++
I need to clean my screen and keyboard now. At least it was cheap booze. I hate it when the spit take involves the good stuff :-D

Posted by: Joe Mannix (Not a cop!) at May 17, 2018 11:22 PM (hYcqw)

474 Steve-

If your boss ever says a doc is missing, tell her Mueller subpoena'd it.

Then explain to her about the gag order.

Posted by: Miklos from HR at May 17, 2018 11:22 PM (zCyNd)

475 But even as I toast y'all, my other self says, "Tomorrow is another day, and it comes early."
F'ing A, I'm retired. But still got a list of things to do.
Hasta lumbago, Horde.

Posted by: RI Red at May 17, 2018 11:23 PM (l3msd)

476 "I'm a Jawbreakers backer."

Posted by: Prothonotary Warbler... now with 23% more Dragon Energy! at May 17, 2018 11:23 PM (wSC8T)

477 Tom Servo, that's ANOTHER thing that really drives me crazy about this whole thing:

My boss I told you about? I forgot to mention, she has easily the messiest office I have EVER seen in my career. Her personal org system is "throw it on the desk and I'll find it later."

But she can NEVER believe she's ever lost anything. Oh no. It's always MY fault.

Posted by: qdpsteve at May 17, 2018 11:23 PM (eMKNe)

478 4 words to whisper:

Ribbed for her pleasure.

Posted by: Joe "Raw Dog" Biden at May 17, 2018 11:23 PM (o9UFo)

479 Miklos, LOL.
Then I'll ask if she needs a nice reassuring squeeze of my Trumpy Bear. ;-)

Posted by: qdpsteve at May 17, 2018 11:24 PM (eMKNe)

480 Later Red.

The trick to Hard Drinkin' is Plenty Sleepin'.

Posted by: ScoggDog at May 17, 2018 11:24 PM (fiGNd)

481 Do you take checks?

Posted by: Walter Freeman at May 17, 2018 11:24 PM (I/iGu)

482 But she can NEVER believe she's ever lost anything. Oh no. It's always MY fault.
Posted by: qdpsteve at May 17, 2018 11:23 PM (eMKNe)
+++++++
Reprogram her spell-check to auto-correct the word "file" with the word "pile." Maybe she'll take the hint.

Posted by: Joe Mannix (Not a cop!) at May 17, 2018 11:24 PM (hYcqw)

483 "Girth. And it Vibrates"

Posted by: garrett at May 17, 2018 11:24 PM (b7v4e)

484 Ill-Tempered Cur, just add "needed" at the end. Then it is four words, by any standard!

Posted by: Prothonotary Warbler... now with 23% more Dragon Energy! at May 17, 2018 11:24 PM (wSC8T)

485 My Whole World Ended are 4 great words.

Posted by: Cosmic Charlie at May 17, 2018 11:24 PM (PUmDY)

486 I actually used to have an FB friend whose last name was Martin, and he married a woman whose maiden name was Quinn.

I once joked to him, "hey, your kids are a Quinn Martin production!"

He didn't like the joke.

Posted by: qdpsteve at May 17, 2018 11:25 PM (eMKNe)

487 (Check joke being an obvious Jerry Springer reference.)

Posted by: Walter Freeman at May 17, 2018 11:25 PM (I/iGu)

488 Joe, no one ever accused me of knowing anything about cars :-)
Posted by: qdpsteve at May 17, 2018 11:18 PM (eMKNe)
---
qdpsteve, trust me... Joe can squeeze blood from a turnip. I've watched it. It's beautiful. Ask his advice if you want to #WIN on a car deal.

Posted by: Yudhishthira's Dice at May 17, 2018 11:25 PM (UiRxW)

489 Wanna see my ficus?

Posted by: Pervy Harvey Weinstein at May 17, 2018 11:25 PM (eLZcY)

490 "Hillary's not the President."

Posted by: Prothonotary Warbler... now with 23% more Dragon Energy! at May 17, 2018 11:26 PM (wSC8T)

491 Honestly ... best four words I ever used ... and I used 'em plenty ...

"Nobody will ever know".

Posted by: ScoggDog at May 17, 2018 11:26 PM (fiGNd)

492 Among best friend's effects was a bottle of Hennessy V.S. Cognac. It's been sitting on my desk for five years.
Cleaning house today, Mrs. Red asked what it was.
I brought it downstairs to the liquor locker today and I'm sipping it tonight.
A lot has passed in five years. Some bad, but a lot of good.
AoS is one of the goods. I'm toasting you all tonight.
Posted by: RI Red at May 17, 2018 11:09 PM (






Awww Thats beautiful


Posted by: LASue at May 17, 2018 11:26 PM (BZA5F)

493 "Make America great again."

That's racyss.

Posted by: Maxine Waters at May 17, 2018 11:26 PM (58eZn)

494 "Mira! Mira esta Chinga!

Posted by: Miklos, a Dreamer at May 17, 2018 11:27 PM (zCyNd)

495 Me. Sigh. (I put my hand under the sofa cushion, feel something metal.) Here's your keys. They were under the sofa cushion. Can I go now?
Her: (imitates a goldfish)

Posted by: Tom Servo at May 17, 2018 11:21 PM (V2Yro)


An older female relative?

My mother in law is like this. She started being like this about 7 years ago. Two years ago she was diagnosed with dementia, the doctor said the paranoia was part of the dementia.

We realized then she had been affected for a lot longer than we thought.

Posted by: blaster at May 17, 2018 11:27 PM (jHrzU)

496 Twitter rots your brain.

Posted by: Walter Freeman at May 17, 2018 11:27 PM (I/iGu)

497 Joe, LOL.

Also I'd have it replace every instance of "subrogation," "conference" and "settlement" with "turdbucket," "headfuck" and "bullshit." ;-)

Posted by: qdpsteve at May 17, 2018 11:27 PM (eMKNe)

498 Yudhishthira, thanks. :-)

Posted by: qdpsteve at May 17, 2018 11:28 PM (eMKNe)

499

"Chinga Tu Madre, Pendejo"

Posted by: Pando Calrission at May 17, 2018 11:29 PM (AyGZp)

500 How about 4 syllables?

Vascectomy.

Posted by: Cannibal Bob at May 17, 2018 11:29 PM (aljs9)

501 Posted by: qdpsteve at May 17, 2018 11:27 PM (eMKNe)

Every third word should be "estoppel".

Posted by: Miklos, just Miklos at May 17, 2018 11:29 PM (zCyNd)

502 394 bluebell

Thank you

It's been MY privilege to share her journey with The Horde.

Seriously.

Posted by: ibguy at May 17, 2018 11:30 PM (vUcdz)

503 Shut the fuck up

Posted by: Rick in SK at May 17, 2018 11:30 PM (K2T58)

504 501. Meh. 'Collateral estoppel' - now that's a panty-dropper.

Posted by: Your Decidedly Devious Uncle Palpatine, Slavic Customer Service Rep. at May 17, 2018 11:31 PM (fA1SL)

505 Make it an '86 LTD and I'll consider it. Those mid-eighties Vics are getting hard to find."

Those LTD/Crown Vics were great! Back when I had a job with a company car (drove 3-4 hours every day) that's what we had, and I wore 3 or 4 of those out. I always like the big sedans.

I used to have a list of things that made Company Cars better than all other cars. Forgot most of it, but a couple were "Company Cars have the ability to travel at extremely high rates of speed in reverse" and "All bothersome engine noises can be easily cured by the radio volume control knob"

Posted by: Tom Servo at May 17, 2018 11:31 PM (V2Yro)

506 >> Wanna see my ficus?

Back away from my ficus, buddy. Nobody fouls my ficus but me.

Posted by: publius, Rascally Rapscallion of a Poperin Pear at May 17, 2018 11:31 PM (8O3HH)

507 "Me Tarzan; you Jane."

Posted by: Prothonotary Warbler... now with 23% more Dragon Energy! at May 17, 2018 11:31 PM (wSC8T)

508 Already used?



Make me a sammich.

Posted by: Cannibal Bob at May 17, 2018 11:32 PM (aljs9)

509

"Ever Fucked An Octopus"

Posted by: Pando Calrission at May 17, 2018 11:32 PM (AyGZp)

510 >>> Depending on what frequencies your hearing has degraded in, certain words are misinterpreted in different ways.

Generally, younger people hear higher frequencies than old people. My two little kids heard "Yanny" without seeing any text or being prompted, and laughed because it is said in a cartoonish voice. I heard it too, because I have always had better hearing at the higher end than most people. But my wife heard Laurel. I later heard the mannish "Laurel" too when it was played on my car Sirius, because that is all tweaked to the low end.

It has nothing to do with visual cues or psychological issues. It's a pure high/low frequency issue, so if two people listening to the same speaker setup hear different things, it is only due to the effective age of their ears.

Posted by: wooga at May 17, 2018 11:32 PM (o9UFo)

511 396. Mark

Thank you.

She was blessed in that she apparently experiment no physical pain.

Kinda funny: so talking with Hubby Sunday afternoon, he tells me Hospice dropped off a box of pain killers, were in their Frig, never needed them.

Says has no idea what to do with them.

Me: Dude, pay off the mortgage

Posted by: ibguy at May 17, 2018 11:32 PM (vUcdz)

512 I used to have a list of things that made Company Cars better than all other cars. Forgot most of it, but a couple were "Company Cars have the ability to travel at extremely high rates of speed in reverse" and "All bothersome engine noises can be easily cured by the radio volume control knob"
Posted by: Tom Servo at May 17, 2018 11:31 PM (V2Yro)
++++++++
I was once in a RWD pickup truck with my uncle and we had to go up a tough, slick slope. I asked him, "does this truck have four wheel drive?" He replied, "Technically, no. But it's a company truck, so why not?"

Posted by: Joe Mannix (Not a cop!) at May 17, 2018 11:33 PM (hYcqw)

513 403 votermom

Thank you!

BTW: did you get my email on the Horde Goodreads thingie?

Posted by: ibguy at May 17, 2018 11:34 PM (vUcdz)

514 505. Heh. When I worked at making ECM's, I bought a decommissioned interceptor from the county. Our company reflashed the ECM on such cars to civvy specs prior to sale. I reflashed my ECM back to interceptor specs, and got the tickets to prove it, too.

Posted by: Your Decidedly Devious Uncle Palpatine, Slavic Customer Service Rep. at May 17, 2018 11:34 PM (fA1SL)

515 ibguy:

So very sorry to hear about your sister Jane. Although the journey through cancer is horrific for everyone involved, I do believe that it does make you a better, more compassionate and more understanding person.

Posted by: shibumi at May 17, 2018 11:35 PM (0s3bJ)

516 You into tentacle porn?

Posted by: Cannibal Bob at May 17, 2018 11:35 PM (aljs9)

517 "Is your friend busy?"

Posted by: t-bird at May 17, 2018 11:36 PM (ZpfqO)

518 This is what mind control looks like:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6MmB7_e7ftY

Posted by: SMH at May 17, 2018 11:36 PM (UiGQV)

519 Kinda funny: so talking with Hubby Sunday afternoon, he tells me Hospice
dropped off a box of pain killers, were in their Frig, never needed
them.



Says has no idea what to do with them.
--

He should call hospice and return them. Those things are pricey, and they will be happy they were returned.

Posted by: shibumi at May 17, 2018 11:36 PM (0s3bJ)

520 4 words?

"Do you like ballgags? "

Aside: I was listening to TDN's "Joy to the World" while watching Florida guy in the airport. It wuz beautiful. I cried.




Posted by: Alcoholic Asshole Shut In at May 17, 2018 11:36 PM (CPk08)

521 "You do butt stuff?"

Posted by: Prothonotary Warbler... now with 23% more Dragon Energy! at May 17, 2018 11:37 PM (wSC8T)

522 I will also say, I lost a lot of respect for the main attorney, the big
boss. She came in a few days ago... in a CHE GUEVARA SHIRT. It wasn't an
ironic one either.


Anonymously send her the picture of Che murdering some teen aged girls, with a note asking her why he's her hero.

Posted by: An Observation at May 17, 2018 11:37 PM (pam24)

523
484 Ill-Tempered Cur, just add "needed" at the end. Then it is four words, by any standard!
Posted by: Prothonotary Warbler... now with 23% more Dragon Energy! at May 17, 2018 11:24 PM (wSC8T)








Oh, screw that. Takes the fun out of it.

Posted by: IllTemperedCur at May 17, 2018 11:37 PM (eXA4G)

524 A shame that the Lincoln LSC was never made with V8 and manual transmission.

Detroit has had a lot of near-misses.

Posted by: Mike Hammer, etc, etc. at May 17, 2018 11:37 PM (5OO3x)

525 "My mom is asleep"

Posted by: t-bird at May 17, 2018 11:38 PM (Zdm89)

526 Shit. I'm so far behind. Frequently, after I post the ONT, I go out to the local and have a few beers while following along. Tonight I had just gotten there when a guy I know comes in and sits down next to me. He's the father of one of my son's friends, he's not a bad guy, if not a "friend" I hang out with.

Well, he starts chatting away a million miles an hour. I was reading the ONT, but now I have to at least smile, nod and interject the occasional comment. Can't really be rude, but good Lord, I'm not here to talk, leave me alone.

No avail. I finish my wings and beer and leave. Ruined my night.

Posted by: Weirddave at May 17, 2018 11:38 PM (RO8oH)

527 You into tentacle porn?
Posted by: Cannibal Bob at May 17, 2018 11:35 PM (aljs9)


The Kurt Eichenwald Gambit.

Posted by: ScoggDog at May 17, 2018 11:38 PM (fiGNd)

528 Collateral estoppel? They opened for res judicata.

Posted by: Cosmic Charlie at May 17, 2018 11:39 PM (PUmDY)

529 Blurry girl is gone.

Posted by: Walter Freeman at May 17, 2018 11:39 PM (I/iGu)

530 I'm listening to Andy McCarthy on the John Batchelor Show. I think he is a good weathervane and indicator of emerging received understanding among the Big City people.

He is saying that Hill was clearly a lawbreaker, and the FBI failed to pursue that.

Also that the FBI/DOJ have consistently broken their own rules and relevant laws.

The Overton Window in this case is getting bigger and is on the move.

Some people should maybe start a GoFundMe to pre-pay JackStraw's upcoming stay at the Betty Ford Center.

Posted by: Miklos, just Miklos at May 17, 2018 11:40 PM (zCyNd)

531 "don't tell my wife"

Posted by: t-bird at May 17, 2018 11:40 PM (7ThJ3)

532 "You're my favorite teacher"

Posted by: 8th grade Miklos at May 17, 2018 11:41 PM (zCyNd)

533 "I'll be named Caitlyn"

Posted by: t-bird at May 17, 2018 11:42 PM (7ThJ3)

534 437 I really hope "I own this condo" works.

PW! I almost typed that in as my first go at the magic four words...

Posted by: LadyTheo, everyone looks better through a bottle of the good stuff at May 17, 2018 11:42 PM (X+6iw)

535 "Put your hair in Pigtails."

Posted by: Alcoholic Asshole Shut In at May 17, 2018 11:42 PM (CPk08)

536
510 >>> Depending on what frequencies your hearing has degraded in, certain words are misinterpreted in different ways.

Generally, younger people hear higher frequencies than old people. My two little kids heard "Yanny" without seeing any text or being prompted, and laughed because it is said in a cartoonish voice. I heard it too, because I have always had better hearing at the higher end than most people. But my wife heard Laurel. I later heard the mannish "Laurel" too when it was played on my car Sirius, because that is all tweaked to the low end.

It has nothing to do with visual cues or psychological issues. It's a pure high/low frequency issue, so if two people listening to the same speaker setup hear different things, it is only due to the effective age of their ears.
Posted by: wooga at May 17, 2018 11:32 PM (o9UFo)







A tech I had working for me a few years back had bad high frequency hearing. Mostly from being a dumbshit shooting guns without ear protection. He was testing a power supply and the fan was squealing like a sonovabitch because the bearings were shot. I watched him pull the unit from the test bed and walk it over to the tested shelf for shipment back to the customer.

"Dood, you need to replace that fan. Didn't you hear that squealing?"

"What squealing?"

Amazing.

Posted by: IllTemperedCur at May 17, 2018 11:43 PM (eXA4G)

537 4 words.

Are you a man?

Posted by: Monk at May 17, 2018 11:43 PM (2yfcr)

538 qdpsteve, the way the office never loses a document - after you scan, it goes into a vault and nobody ever touches it again! They just use the electronic copy.

I'll just send the consultation fee to your boss.
Posted by: votermom pimping


Yeah, pretty much. Just have to make sure the scanner has a network'd RAID so that if any one harddrive crashes, the others have a copy.

Buy two of these (one for use, one for backup ), a network RAID, and locking file cabinets.

shop.usa.canon.com/shop/en/catalog/imageformula-dr-m1060

Posted by: weft cut-loop at May 17, 2018 11:43 PM (LNPd9)

539 515 shibumi

Thank you, ma'am.

Not sure it makes me a better person, but it sure taught me a LOT about humility.

Posted by: ibguy at May 17, 2018 11:43 PM (vUcdz)

540 Ruined my night.

Posted by: Weirddave at May 17, 2018 11:38 PM (RO8oH)

Hey! We're working this corner!

Posted by: Stormy Miklos at May 17, 2018 11:43 PM (zCyNd)

541 "you're my favorite babysitter"

Posted by: t-bird at May 17, 2018 11:43 PM (7ThJ3)

542 Damn that's 5. Maybe:

" I like wearing diapers."

Posted by: Alcoholic Asshole Shut In at May 17, 2018 11:43 PM (CPk08)

543

"I'm No Longer Infected"

Posted by: Pando Calrission at May 17, 2018 11:46 PM (AyGZp)

544 Anonymously send her the picture of Che murdering some teen aged girls, with a note asking her why he's her hero.

Posted by: An Observation
-------------

When I discover a Che admirer, I make a note of it, then at some later convenient time work into the conversation "Mexicans are ignorant Indian rabble". That generally produces a shocked gasp, and self righteous indignation.

That's the time to say, "Yes, a repugnant thing to say, but those are not my words, they are Che Guevera's."

Posted by: Mike Hammer, etc, etc. at May 17, 2018 11:47 PM (ZpfqO)

545 "third wife, third life"

Posted by: Miklos, who bailed out his own lawyer at May 17, 2018 11:48 PM (zCyNd)

546 "restraining order, schmestraining order..."

Posted by: t-bird at May 17, 2018 11:50 PM (7ThJ3)

547
"I have good wood!"

Posted by: Krebs v Carnot: Epic Battle of the Cycling Stars (TM) at May 17, 2018 11:50 PM (pNxlR)

548 No avail. I finish my wings and beer and leave. Ruined my night.
Posted by: Weirddave at May 17, 2018 11:38 PM"

Dave, you're Weird.

Posted by: Tom Servo at May 17, 2018 11:50 PM (V2Yro)

549 "just a flesh wound"

Posted by: Amorous Black Knight at May 17, 2018 11:51 PM (zCyNd)

550
"Just the tip ... swearsies"

Posted by: Krebs v Carnot: Epic Battle of the Cycling Stars (TM) at May 17, 2018 11:51 PM (pNxlR)

551 "Doc says I'm clean"

Posted by: Chi-Town Jerry at May 17, 2018 11:51 PM (5tSKk)

552

"Smells Like Hillary's Panties"

Posted by: Pando Calrission at May 17, 2018 11:52 PM (AyGZp)

553 No, it has to be 5 words. If you just say "I want to f***" she'll point you to a hole in the ground. Gotta have the "you" on there. Then you're golden.

Posted by: Alec Rawls at May 17, 2018 11:53 PM (wh9C3)

554 It is a nice little place, LadyTheo! Could use a bit of work, but I'll get around to it with a HELOC or something like that.

Posted by: Prothonotary Warbler... now with 23% more Dragon Energy! at May 17, 2018 11:53 PM (wSC8T)

555 "I killed your watchdog"

Posted by: t-bird at May 17, 2018 11:53 PM (7ThJ3)

556 this deal keeps getting worse. Pansexual Lando is very disappointing

Posted by: Cosmic Charlie at May 17, 2018 11:53 PM (PUmDY)

557 "Have you come yet?"

Posted by: NukemHill at May 17, 2018 11:54 PM (ZtoQY)

558
556 this deal keeps getting worse. Pansexual Lando is very disappointing
Posted by: Cosmic Charlie at May 17, 2018 11:53 PM (PUmDY)






Did anyone else read that as Pandasexual Lando?

Posted by: IllTemperedCur at May 17, 2018 11:55 PM (eXA4G)

559 @530: "The Overton Window in this case is getting bigger and is on the move."

There's always been a mutually assured destruction aspect to the Mueller investigation. Both sides in the last election knew the other was dirty as hell, but Hillary's people were way more cocky about their chances, and acted accordingly; recklessly.

It's kinda funny, looking back, how all those "lock her up" chants started around the same time the FBI supposedly found or planted a mole in the Trump campaign.

Coincidence, I'm sure, but I think it shows a difference in that Trump never took the chants seriously, while the other side wasn't screwing around.

Seems like Trump thought they'd back off after they lost, if only for their own good.

Posted by: Walter Freeman at May 17, 2018 11:55 PM (I/iGu)

560 "5 bucks' worth, please"

Posted by: t-bird at May 17, 2018 11:55 PM (7ThJ3)

561 Need I say more?

Posted by: The Paolo at May 17, 2018 11:56 PM (eLZcY)

562 Yeah Charlie; I don't remember Lando ever hitting on Han or Chewbacca, and he totally didn't care about what had happened to C-3PO.

He clearly wanted to get Leia in the sack, though.

Posted by: Prothonotary Warbler... now with 23% more Dragon Energy! at May 17, 2018 11:57 PM (wSC8T)

563 "Can you make change?"

Posted by: Prothonotary Warbler... now with 23% more Dragon Energy! at May 17, 2018 11:58 PM (wSC8T)

564

"Until You Say Stop"

Posted by: Pando Calrission at May 17, 2018 11:58 PM (AyGZp)

565 Minnesota Vikings sponsoring 'LGBTQ inclusion in sports' initiative

The Minnesota Vikings will become the first NFL team to host a summit on LGBTQ inclusion in sports.

The Vikings announced Wednesday the summit will be held at the team's headquarters in Eagan on June 21. A reception will be held afterward to raise money for local and national LGBTQ organizations.

---

stuck on stoopid indeed...

Posted by: SMH at May 17, 2018 11:58 PM (UiGQV)

566 Someone needs to take the old Colt 45 print ad with the girl on Billy Dee's shoulder and replace her with an old photo of Harrison Ford.

Works every time!

Posted by: Walter Freeman at May 17, 2018 11:58 PM (I/iGu)

567 I killed your watchdog"

Rebutted by: "I boiled your bunny."

Posted by: LadyTheo, everyone looks better through a bottle of the good stuff at May 17, 2018 11:58 PM (X+6iw)

568 Buckwheat in a headlock

Posted by: Quilter's Irish Death at May 17, 2018 11:58 PM (uB9t9)

569 "What's the safe word?"

Posted by: a wistful Miklos at May 17, 2018 11:59 PM (zCyNd)

570 Paint my house, slut.


Old prostitute joke punchline.

Posted by: NZFrank withanM2 at May 17, 2018 11:59 PM (bgJ0E)

571 @565: "The Minnesota Vikings will become the first NFL team to host a summit on LGBTQ inclusion in sports."

As if having one of the few successful WNBA franchises wasn't good enough.

Posted by: Walter Freeman at May 17, 2018 11:59 PM (I/iGu)

572 "I drink your milkshake!"

Posted by: Prothonotary Warbler... now with 23% more Dragon Energy! at May 18, 2018 12:00 AM (wSC8T)

573 "I am the Paolo"

Posted by: Joe Mannix (Not a cop!) at May 18, 2018 12:01 AM (hYcqw)

574 Thank you, ma'am.



Not sure it makes me a better person, but it sure taught me a LOT about humility.


Posted by: ibguy at May 17, 2018 11:43 PM
---

{{{hugs}}}

I know what it's like. Lung cancer took my Mom.

Posted by: shibumi at May 18, 2018 12:01 AM (0s3bJ)

575 It's a trap

Posted by: Cosmic Charlie at May 18, 2018 12:01 AM (PUmDY)

576 "Do you take checks?"

Posted by: Prothonotary Warbler... now with 23% more Dragon Energy! at May 18, 2018 12:01 AM (wSC8T)

577 Wow, wall of text. Sorry.

TL;DR: My boss has impossible expectations and I need to know how to handle her moods about it.
Posted by: qdpsteve at May 17, 2018 10:38 PM (eMKNe)

Your right hand not working?

Posted by: NZFrank withanM2 at May 18, 2018 12:01 AM (bgJ0E)

578 554 It is a nice little place, LadyTheo! Could use a bit of work, but I'll get around to it with a HELOC or something like that.
***

Do as much as you can yourself. Dave Ramsey says, "Don't borrow money!"

I can hang drywall. And paint. And I replaced a toilet once.

Surely there are handy-dandy hordelings in Denver who would barter their mad skillz for some nice whiskey. Or tequila!

Posted by: LadyTheo, everyone looks better through a bottle of the good stuff at May 18, 2018 12:02 AM (X+6iw)

579 "Crackers in bed? Sure!"

Posted by: Miklos, snacking at May 18, 2018 12:03 AM (zCyNd)

580 565--- A reception will be held afterward to raise money for local and national LGBTQ organizations.

Posted by: SMH at May 17, 2018 11:58 PM (UiGQV)
----------------------------------
Heh.

Posted by: Margarita DeVille at May 18, 2018 12:04 AM (0jtPF)

581 >> Crackers in bed? Sure!"

I don't want no crackas in my bed!

Posted by: Kerosene Maxine Waters at May 18, 2018 12:05 AM (8O3HH)

582 I'm broke and broken.

Posted by: Monk at May 18, 2018 12:05 AM (2yfcr)

583 the great thing about being married is that, no matter what you do, she'll find something to bitch about instead of being happy.

Posted by: redc1c4 at May 18, 2018 12:06 AM (ogGku)

584 "You are so beautiful." Then quietly walk away.

Posted by: An Observation at May 18, 2018 12:06 AM (pam24)

585 Well, 'rons and 'ettes, tomorrow begins a mad weekend of hashing--drinkers with a running problem.

Tomorrow night's theme is Boot Camp: got myself a nice camo camisole, some short khaki shorts, and silk stockings that look like combat lace-ups.

Saturday is Summer Camp: I am going as a bear. The barely-dressed bear that eats all the little campers...

Sunday is Bay to Breakers. We just terrorize the civilians.

Posted by: LadyTheo, everyone looks better through a bottle of the good stuff at May 18, 2018 12:06 AM (X+6iw)

586 @583: "... she'll find something to bitch about instead of being happy."

More precisely, it's the bitching that makes her happiest.

Posted by: Walter Freeman at May 18, 2018 12:07 AM (I/iGu)

587 " I gots prpl drank"

Posted by: St. Trayvon at May 18, 2018 12:07 AM (zCyNd)

588 Lando was just a pos for most of Empire.

Posted by: Cosmic Charlie at May 18, 2018 12:08 AM (PUmDY)

589 583 the great thing about being married is that, no matter what you do, she'll find something to bitch about instead of being happy.

redc1c4, I am really sorry.

If you are ever up NoCal way, a strictly platonic drink is on me.

Posted by: LadyTheo, everyone looks better through a bottle of the good stuff at May 18, 2018 12:09 AM (X+6iw)

590 Best ever version of "This deals getting worse all the time!"

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WpE_xMRiCLE

Posted by: Tom Servo at May 18, 2018 12:10 AM (V2Yro)

591 Thanks for the advice, LadyTheo! I'm only really considering a HELOC because of a trick I recently heard about; apparently, it's somehow possible to make a HELOC your primary bank account, and have your paychecks deposited there, where they'll immediately be counted against your principal and you end up paying the place off in, like, five to seven years.

I need to do some more research on exactly how that works.

Posted by: Prothonotary Warbler... now with 23% more Dragon Energy! at May 18, 2018 12:10 AM (wSC8T)

592 My boss has impossible expectations and I need to know how to handle her moods about it.

Posted by: qdpsteve at May 17, 2018 10:38 PM (eMKNe)

Have you done any research into the Myers Briggs personality theory?

Basically it categories people, and if you're close enough to someone, you can figure out what type you are, what type they are, and what you have to do to get along with them.

It might help you to understand yourself, your boss and your reaction to your boss.

Or... "bitchez be crazy."

LOL.

Posted by: shibumi at May 18, 2018 12:11 AM (0s3bJ)

593 The 'plunger' vs. 'plumber's friend' thing, is just something I've noticed in it's rare discussion.
Posted by: Mike Hammer, etc, etc. at May 17, 2018 10:50 PM (y3sT9)

I know by both names, and use both. "Plunger" is the semi-official name for "force cup", and "plumber's friend" is the colloquial name.

Posted by: Alberta Oil Peon at May 18, 2018 12:11 AM (WFV7d)

594 Hey, anyone seen Ashley Judd's Puffy Scamper lately?*

I want to ask him about Goodlatte's retirement and possible replacement. That's his district and he knows a lot about the politicos there.

(*Yes, I know that sentence sounds funny!)

Posted by: Margarita DeVille at May 18, 2018 12:13 AM (0jtPF)

595 Good night, everyone!

Posted by: Prothonotary Warbler... now with 23% more Dragon Energy! at May 18, 2018 12:13 AM (wSC8T)

596 So the same people now actively silencing conservatives in every corner they may lurk also want to control our healthcare and insist there would NEVER be any such thing as a "death panel".

I trust them. Don't you?

Posted by: Mega at May 18, 2018 12:14 AM (rv0Fo)

597 PW, my advice is free! That's what makes it so good!

Posted by: LadyTheo, Ann Landers is my pen name at May 18, 2018 12:14 AM (X+6iw)

598 @ RedC..... you get to sleep on a sofa!?


*looks down at blankets arrayed atop the Persian rug in the living room*


Yeah, it's like that, but 50/50 by choice.

* back relief from the gaijin "tatami" mat sleeping system.

* I don't have to sleep in the same room as a snore of fog-horn volume and amplitude.


But, I do miss the old sofa. It fit like an old glove.



Jim
Sunk New Dawn
Galveston, TX

Posted by: Jim at May 18, 2018 12:15 AM (QzJWU)

599 Sleep tight, PW.

Posted by: LadyTheo, Ann Landers is my pen name at May 18, 2018 12:15 AM (X+6iw)

600 Jim and redc1c4,

WTF?

Posted by: LadyTheo, Ann Landers is my pen name at May 18, 2018 12:16 AM (X+6iw)

601 Tomorrow night's theme is Boot Camp: got myself a nice camo camisole, some short khaki shorts, and silk stockings that look like combat lace-ups.

---

o_O

Posted by: SMH at May 18, 2018 12:18 AM (UiGQV)

602 Wow, wall of text. Sorry.

TL;DR: My boss has impossible expectations and I need to know how to handle her moods about it.
Posted by: qdpsteve at May 17, 2018 10:38 PM (eMKNe)

Sounds like your boss gets off on and/or takes out her shit by dominating and controlling you. The dynamics seem effed up. You won't ever do right in her eyes and if you are trying to, and she knows it, then she will continue to target you.

I'd seek other employment asap.

Posted by: Monk at May 18, 2018 12:18 AM (2yfcr)

603 Thank you Servo. Great.

Posted by: Cosmic Charlie at May 18, 2018 12:21 AM (PUmDY)

604 Some of the biggest mistakes a leader makes:

1) Not sharing credit or owning failure. You should always share credit "WE succeeded." and own failure "This failure is MY responsibility."

2) Credit is a fine line. On the one hand, you do not want to turn it into a participation sweepstakes, on the other, you need to actually praise when people do a good job. The thing is, if you pick and choose right, it is worth more.

3) Some people respond well to setting impossible goals (I am like that.) Some people shut down if it seems too daunting. Once size does not fit all and it is up to the leader to understand people well enough to be able to see who does better with what.

Just my two cents.

It sounds like your boss is an insecure leader who feels the need to bull her way through. Is she new to the spot?

Posted by: Aetius451AD Work Laptop at May 18, 2018 12:26 AM (sDsee)

605 SMH:

The funny thing is I am the most uptight person on the planet, so I will hang about watching everyone else act like monkeys. And probably help out with the bar tending. Still, I need the practice being social.

Posted by: LadyTheo, Ann Landers is my pen name at May 18, 2018 12:27 AM (X+6iw)

606 Jim and redc1c4,

WTF?

Posted by: LadyTheo, Ann Landers is my pen name at May 18, 2018 12:16 AM (X+6iw)



Long story, and I'm not one to gush and whine 'bout such out on the page, here.

Suffice to say, it's a more peaceable sleep for me, and due to some significant past and recent injuries, I can toss n' turn my way to sleep, uninterrupted.

VERY thick pile, 1,200 knots per inch Persian Rug. Tight-knit throw rug for top-sheet. One or two surplus wool military blankets atop.

Trivia. A wool blanket sleeps cooler than a cotton sheet, even in summer. Tight weave on those cotton sheets, are heat and sweat traps.

Wintertime? I'll put doubled up woolies up against a down comforter, any day of the week, and twice on Sundays.

Only competition is high-end flannel sheets, which rock.



Jim
Sunk New Dawn
Galveston, TX



Posted by: Jim at May 18, 2018 12:27 AM (QzJWU)

607 The Vikings announced Wednesday the summit will be held at the team's headquarters in Eagan on June 21. A reception will be held afterward to raise money for local and national LGBTQ organizations.

---

stuck on stoopid indeed...
Posted by: SMH at May 17, 2018 11:58 PM (UiGQV)

They must have taken that "Viqueens" taunt to heart.

Posted by: Alberta Oil Peon at May 18, 2018 12:28 AM (WFV7d)

608 Four words: "I've got a headache"

Posted by: civil truth at May 18, 2018 12:30 AM (t3LBb)

609 Jim,

Didn't mean to pry. Didn't know about the wool blankets-thanks for the tip. I often run in wool-blend socks--they are great insulators and wick sweat well.

Ever since menopause, I can't get cool enough at night. I am miserable until I can cool myself down to the point of almost shivering. Then I can sleep. Getting old sucks.

Posted by: LadyTheo, Ann Landers is my pen name at May 18, 2018 12:31 AM (X+6iw)

610 "I'm wearing a Buttplug."

Posted by: Alcoholic Asshole Shut In at May 18, 2018 12:32 AM (CPk08)

611 Reading it is worse. I kid.

Posted by: Cosmic Charlie at May 18, 2018 12:34 AM (PUmDY)

612 I wasn't here last night. My condolences, ibguy.

Posted by: rickl at May 18, 2018 12:34 AM (sdi6R)

613 Ok, rereading your comment, QDP- I think she is just a bitch.

Posted by: Aetius451AD Work Laptop at May 18, 2018 12:38 AM (sDsee)

614 "Hello, I'm the Doctor." Well at least those are the words I've been hoping for for decades. No luck yet.

Posted by: Nmissi at May 18, 2018 12:38 AM (zciy2)

615 I'm worth 1,000,000 dead

Posted by: Flatville Bill at May 18, 2018 12:39 AM (TiIoH)

616 565
The Minnesota Vikings will become the first NFL team to host a summit on LGBTQ inclusion in sports.
Posted by: SMH at May 17, 2018 11:58 PM (UiGQV)


I guess they aren't called the Viqueens for nothing.

Posted by: rickl at May 18, 2018 12:39 AM (sdi6R)

617 Is anyone else a big fan of Aerosmith late 80s early 90s stuff?

Posted by: Cosmic Charlie at May 18, 2018 12:40 AM (PUmDY)

618 299 Husband was reading the ONT over my shoulder and whispered in my ear...

"I did the dishes."

He's getting laid tonight.

Posted by: moki


On our frig, we had a motivational magnet which read

"No husband has ever been murdered by his wife while he was doing the dishes."

Gimme Shelter

Posted by: GnuBreed at May 18, 2018 12:42 AM (0ogQG)

619 Is anyone else a big fan of Aerosmith late 80s early 90s stuff?
They did something after "Night in the Ruts"?

Posted by: Blanco Basura - It's OK, I'm with the banned at May 18, 2018 12:43 AM (IcT7t)

620 >> Is anyone else a big fan of Aerosmith late 80s early 90s stuff?


Permanent Vacation?

Pump?









No.

Posted by: garrett at May 18, 2018 12:47 AM (10Fst)

621 Get Your Rocks?

It has a couple of really good tracks.

Posted by: GnuBreed at May 18, 2018 12:49 AM (0ogQG)

622 Toys in the Attic is all I need.

Posted by: garrett at May 18, 2018 12:49 AM (10Fst)

623 Let's smoke some crack.

Posted by: Monk at May 18, 2018 12:50 AM (2yfcr)

624 Get Your Wings is my fav album of theirs. Great for road trips.

Kiss that 1/2 hour goodbye.

Posted by: GnuBreed at May 18, 2018 12:51 AM (0ogQG)

625 I've got Peruvian Coke

Posted by: garrett at May 18, 2018 12:51 AM (10Fst)

626 Let's smoke some crack.

Posted by: Monk at May 18, 2018 12:50 AM (2yfcr)


*screech, fling poo*

Posted by: the ONT crack monkeys at May 18, 2018 12:52 AM (zCyNd)

627 626 I've got Peruvian Coke

Posted by: garrett


You've got a friend.

Posted by: James Taylor at May 18, 2018 12:56 AM (0ogQG)

628 Academic Feels: Emotion As Knowledge; Feminist Science; Feminist Geography

The focus this time: The Left Believe Women Can't Think

http://politicalhat.com/?p=14617

Posted by: The Political Hat at May 18, 2018 12:58 AM (itfg0)

629 Cofeve


Trump is awesome

Posted by: LASue at May 18, 2018 12:58 AM (BZA5F)

630 Trailer, Alien (1979)

https://youtu.be/LjLamj-b0I8

Today I was on my gretsch guitar, and I was bending the high e at the 15th fret. I was feeling out a sound that I remembered, for how frightening it was, but I couldn't remember where it was from. I thought it might have been a submarine movie.

Posted by: BourbonChicken at May 18, 2018 12:59 AM (rnAwa)

631 Not even this, Leif?

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=zkGfPrst29Y

Posted by: Cosmic Charlie at May 18, 2018 01:01 AM (PUmDY)

632 Anthony Weiner indictment was unsealed tonight.

Posted by: Monk at May 18, 2018 01:02 AM (2yfcr)

633 @ Lady Theo, re: wool blankets.

Thick, fluffy ones won't do. They'll cook you in the summer.

Buy ONLY genuine, U.S. Military Surplus "as new" wool blankets.

The U.S. Navy ones I inherited from my Dad, are as soft as can be, not "wool scratchy"...but breathe, keep ya warm in the winter, etc.

They're THIN. Don't let that fool you .

They work.



Jim
Sunk New Dawn
Galveston, TX

Posted by: Jim at May 18, 2018 01:02 AM (QzJWU)

634 Unsealed indictments is what started the whole trouble.

Posted by: BourbonChicken at May 18, 2018 01:03 AM (rnAwa)

635 There are over 25k federal sealed indictments as of 3/31/18.

Posted by: Monk at May 18, 2018 01:07 AM (2yfcr)

636 Well officer, that's when the indictments started...

Posted by: Miklos, sticking to his story at May 18, 2018 01:07 AM (zCyNd)

637 So watched a GOP primary debate for my Congressional District, involving Tarkanian, Mortensen, and Hammond. Some pros and cons.


Tarkanian

Con
Is a repeat loser who lost his last Congressional race in a district that Trump won.
He's a bit "thick as a brick" in his head.
He's the type of politician who'd happy bulls**t to your face.

Pro
None.

Mortensen

Con
Former local news talking head.
Smiles too much and has thick caked on make-up.
Comes as disingenuous with "rehearsed rage".

Pro
A lot of people like the politicians with "rehearsed rage" who smile too much while wearing way too much make up.
She correctly points out that Tarkanian is a repeat loser.

Hammond

Con
Did vote for the Commerce Tax.

Pro
Also got Education Savings Accounts (education money goes directly to the parents so that they can spend it however they wish).
Legislative vote history isn't on the whole crappy.
Comes across as the type of person you could have a normal conversation with rather than just use the chat as an excuse to sell themselves politically.

Posted by: The Political Hat at May 18, 2018 01:09 AM (itfg0)

638 4 words:
You remember Jennifer, right?

Posted by: Burger Chef at May 18, 2018 01:12 AM (RuIsu)

639 I'd have to vote Tarkanian, just for the C-Span clips of a US Representative chewing on a towel.


Which I would do, were I in the House.

Bet he could sell a few too, if Auntie Maxine stays on.

Posted by: Miklos, ACC fan at May 18, 2018 01:13 AM (zCyNd)

640 Thanks, Jim!

Night, Horde!

Posted by: LadyTheo, Ann Landers is my pen name at May 18, 2018 01:17 AM (X+6iw)

641 640 I'd have to vote Tarkanian, just for the C-Span clips of a US Representative chewing on a towel.


Which I would do, were I in the House.

Bet he could sell a few too, if Auntie Maxine stays on.

Posted by: Miklos, ACC fan at May 18, 2018 01:13 AM (zCyNd)


I'll likely vote for whoever I think has the best chance of stopping Loser McLoses-a-lot (i.e. Tarkanian).

Posted by: The Congressional Hat at May 18, 2018 01:17 AM (itfg0)

642 crayola color is magenta.

Posted by: enzo at May 18, 2018 01:18 AM (AY0BI)

643 We contacted Human Resources


Or

Get off. You're heavy

Posted by: Kindltot at May 18, 2018 01:18 AM (pGvPP)

644 I'll likely vote for whoever I think has the best chance of stopping Loser McLoses-a-lot (i.e. Tarkanian).

Posted by: The Congressional Hat at May 18, 2018 01:17 AM (itfg0)

Approved.

Posted by: Wm. F. Buckley at May 18, 2018 01:19 AM (zCyNd)

645 My bad, it was unsealed the night of the 16th. USA vs. Anthony Weiner. In southern district of New York.

Posted by: Monk at May 18, 2018 01:19 AM (2yfcr)

646 Hmm.... four words every girl wants to hear? How about "I'm not actually snipped"?

Posted by: Ace's liver at May 18, 2018 01:20 AM (h2Bdk)

647 Re: Yanny and Laurel... when I first heard it I heard both initially, smushed together (very technical !). Then I only heard Laurel after that.

My four words? "Oh God yes! Now!" =P

Posted by: atomicplaygirl - I survived GNAMM 2017 and all I got was this lousy nic at May 18, 2018 01:21 AM (Gim9y)

648 My bad, it was unsealed the night of the 16th. USA vs. Anthony Weiner. In southern district of New York.

Posted by: Monk at May 18, 2018 01:19 AM (2yfcr)

Bad for you, worse for me.

Posted by: A. Wiener at May 18, 2018 01:21 AM (zCyNd)

649 Four words: "Tell me about it."

Posted by: grayishpanther at May 18, 2018 01:22 AM (ty9Ew)

650 Your Sister looks hot.

Posted by: garrett at May 18, 2018 01:24 AM (10Fst)

651 Tomorrow's project: Mount an 18" 1907 bayonet to a toilet plunger, or maybe it's the other way 'round.

There's a right tool and a wrong tool for every job, this one might be it.

Like Donny sez: "We'll see how it goes"

Posted by: Burger Chef at May 18, 2018 01:25 AM (RuIsu)

652 The CIA and FBI need to be burnt to the ground. Good Lord it gets worse and worse everyday.

Posted by: Monk at May 18, 2018 01:26 AM (2yfcr)

653 Posted by: The Political Hat at May 18, 2018 01:09 AM (itfg0)

Hat, I don't care who you vote for as long as it's not Danny "Guaranteed Loser" Tarkanian.

Posted by: Surfperch at May 18, 2018 01:28 AM (b1bLJ)

654 Good evening everyone

I hear covfefe - funny

Wings for Justice is the name of the group that might be able to help out fathers with family problems.

Posted by: AmericanKestrel at May 18, 2018 01:30 AM (IDhUW)

655 Janie's Got a Gun didn't suck.

Posted by: Cosmic Charlie at May 18, 2018 01:30 AM (PUmDY)

656 Oh, and Dave, good impression of George.

I watched Blast from the Past based on a rec here. It was entertaining, but doubt I'll watch it again.

Posted by: AmericanKestrel at May 18, 2018 01:32 AM (IDhUW)

657 I think that the FBI should be dismantled. The Federal Government can't be trusted with that much power as recent events have shown.

Posted by: AmericanKestrel at May 18, 2018 01:35 AM (IDhUW)

658 Meanwhile... in "diverse" London...

https://twitter.com/DizzyCab/status/996988308147318785

Posted by: The Gin-soaked Hat at May 18, 2018 01:38 AM (itfg0)

659 Posted by: The Gin-soaked Hat at May 18, 2018 01:38 AM (itfg0)

If Tarkanian wins...I'll eat your hat! (with fresh lime)

Posted by: Miklos, a Molnar at May 18, 2018 01:46 AM (zCyNd)

660
Janie's Got a Gun didn't suck.

Posted by: Cosmic Charlie at May 18, 2018 01:30 AM (PUmDY)
---
there's TWO songs by that name?

who knew....

Posted by: redc1c4 at May 18, 2018 01:47 AM (ogGku)

661 Neither did Rag Doll.

Posted by: Cosmic Charlie at May 18, 2018 01:48 AM (PUmDY)

662 Proud to be Gay !!!!

Posted by: Mary Clogginstien from Brattleboro, VT at May 18, 2018 01:51 AM (qM84C)

663 659 Meanwhile... in "diverse" London...

https://twitter.com/DizzyCab/status/996988308147318785
Posted by: The Gin-soaked Hat at May 18, 2018 01:38 AM (itfg0)

It's just another, perfectly acceptable, lifestyle choice.

Because so many evil, racist xenophobes have been attacking beautiful, diverse Londoners by trying to enforce racist Western hygienic norms is just one more if the many reasons we should ban guns knives pointy vegetables and arrest people who tweet things like this.

Posted by: Sadiq Kahn, Mayor of Londonstan at May 18, 2018 01:51 AM (b1bLJ)

664 neither one is "Dark Star", so spare me...

Posted by: redc1c4 at May 18, 2018 01:51 AM (ogGku)

665 Well, I am sleepy, and off to bed. Night, Horde.

Posted by: Alberta Oil Peon at May 18, 2018 01:51 AM (WFV7d)

666 ping!

Posted by: redc1c4 at May 18, 2018 01:52 AM (ogGku)

667 fine, AOP: St Stephen will remain.

Posted by: redc1c4 at May 18, 2018 01:53 AM (ogGku)

668 Mary is so right!!!

Mary is proud... oh.

Proud Mary, keep on burning!

Posted by: Concerned Woman of Brattleboro at May 18, 2018 01:54 AM (zCyNd)

669 All he lost he shall regain
Seashore washed by the sudz and the foam,
been here so long, he's got to callin' it home.

Posted by: Burger Chef at May 18, 2018 01:55 AM (RuIsu)

670 now, if we could only roll away the dew...

Posted by: redc1c4 at May 18, 2018 01:57 AM (ogGku)

671 Hey, I was jivin with one of my homies, and we got to talking about Mueller, and state bureaucracies, and loser homo commies who talk like fags, and whose shit's all retarded.

Then, I remembered an awesome movie by this German aristocrat called some ridiculous aristocrat name like Marion Florian Henckels von Donnersmarck or somesuch nonsense.

Anyway, it's about this Staatssicherheit electronic surveillance spook who gets assigned to haunt the every move of an innocent playwright whose pretty actress girlfriend is coveted by a greasy, lecherous Party official.

It's absolutely disturbing, and every character, whether they live or die (most of them die), is debased and destroyed by the end.

But, in the denouement, this only Stasi agent with a conscience has the opportunity (after the wall came down) to confront his former Party boss at a fancy party, and you get to see the true, pathetic sadness of Communism.

It's a beautiful movie. It's called "The Lives of Others" in English (subtitles, I don't think it's dubbed anywhere), and "Das Leben Der Anderen) if you want to watch it in German.

Posted by: Yudhishthira's Dice at May 18, 2018 01:58 AM (UiRxW)

672 At least we have a six sided whisperin' halleluiah hat-rack.

Posted by: Burger Chef at May 18, 2018 01:58 AM (RuIsu)

673 662 Neither did Rag Doll.
Posted by: Cosmic Charlie at May 18, 2018 01:48 AM (PUmDY)

Old and Busted - Rag Doll

New Hotness - Roastie

Posted by: Monk at May 18, 2018 01:59 AM (2yfcr)

674 Mountain Dew and rum.

We call it a Mountain Mojito.

Posted by: Miklos suggests a fine Cuba Libre at May 18, 2018 02:00 AM (zCyNd)

675 I think D&C is going to bust out an 11 out of SS this tour.

Posted by: Cosmic Charlie at May 18, 2018 02:01 AM (PUmDY)

676 It's a beautiful movie. It's called "The Lives of Others" in English (subtitles, I don't think it's dubbed anywhere), and "Das Leben Der Anderen) if you want to watch it in German.
Posted by: Yudhishthira's Dice at May 18, 2018 01:58 AM (UiRxW)

Great film. More people should watch this. I''ll pull it from my library and watch it again. Thanks for the reminder

Posted by: Monk at May 18, 2018 02:01 AM (2yfcr)

677 Re the Viqueens: There's the old joke, the punchline of which is that the platoon sergeant says, "Sir, I was OK with it when they were in the closet, and I was OK with Don't Ask, Don't Tell, and I'm even OK with them being out in the open. But when they make it mandatory, that's when I have to retire."

Posted by: Caesar North of the Rubicon at May 18, 2018 02:01 AM (jK8Z7)

678 676 I think D&C is going to bust out an 11 out of SS this tour.
Posted by: Cosmic Charlie at May 18, 2018 02:01 AM (PUmDY)

I really miss going to shows.

Posted by: Monk at May 18, 2018 02:03 AM (2yfcr)

679 Is this the labia jewelry thread? Because I have a dick that would make a great bracelet.

Posted by: Bruce "Bruce" Jenner at May 18, 2018 02:03 AM (ga0eq)

680 Hey everybody.

Sorry I went away, my internet is giving me issues again.

Thanks to everyone who's responded to my posts, including the one about my issues with my boss. I especially agree with the person above who wrote that she has a power thing going on, I agree 100% with that.

I call it 'kick the dog syndrome.' She gets yelled at by her boss who owns the whole firm, and she can't yell back, so she takes things out on me. Frustrating.

Posted by: qdpsteve at May 18, 2018 02:05 AM (eMKNe)

681 That reminds me... Need to load up a thumb drive with Dead for my incipient/impending Road Trip.

Posted by: Burger Chef at May 18, 2018 02:05 AM (RuIsu)

682 "The Lives of Others" is rather accurate. People would drop a commie dime on people just to get them out of the way. For a girl or guy, a better apartment, a better job...


It was real life.

CC: Bernie Sanders

Posted by: Miklos Molnar can tell you stories at May 18, 2018 02:05 AM (zCyNd)

683 anyone else here have the complete Europe 72 box set?


Posted by: redc1c4 at May 18, 2018 02:05 AM (ogGku)

684 "Show me your Beaver!"

Posted by: Animal Smith at May 18, 2018 02:05 AM (roQNm)

685 I call it 'kick the dog syndrome.' She gets yelled at by her boss who owns the whole firm, and she can't yell back, so she takes things out on me. Frustrating.

---------

Women. Can't live em; can't kill em.

Posted by: Cicero (@cicero) at May 18, 2018 02:07 AM (ga0eq)

686 Frustrating.

Posted by: qdpsteve at May 18, 2018 02:05 AM (eMKNe)

Can you talk to the big boss?

Posted by: Miklos from the Dept. of Impending Litigation at May 18, 2018 02:08 AM (zCyNd)

687 I do. It is as great as you think it could be.

Posted by: Cosmic Charlie at May 18, 2018 02:11 AM (PUmDY)

688 These 12 hour nights are killing me. Still one more to go yet too.

Posted by: buzzion at May 18, 2018 02:12 AM (lKs2v)

689 These 12 hour nights are killing me. Still one more to go yet too.

Posted by: buzzion at May 18, 2018 02:12 AM (lKs2v)

Killing, or killing again?

Posted by: Miklos from the Dept. Fact Checking at May 18, 2018 02:13 AM (zCyNd)

690 My traditional Christmas present to ME is music. I looked at some of the plethora of boxed sets from a few bands. Could not decide which. I will look at Europe '72 again. Reminds me of my salad days in 6th grade.

Posted by: Burger Chef at May 18, 2018 02:13 AM (RuIsu)

691 Potato Potahto.

Posted by: buzzion at May 18, 2018 02:13 AM (lKs2v)

692 Miklos, I wish I could but the "big boss" and my boss are really close. it's a tiny law firm. I have a grand total of four other co-workers.

Besides me (file clerk), there's our new hire who's a junior paralegal, a young adult/college student in charge of our physical storage, my boss who's the main paralegal, and the owner/"big boss", whose name is on the door.

Posted by: qdpsteve at May 18, 2018 02:15 AM (eMKNe)

693 But again, thanks to everyone, including Miklos, for all the advice. I know it all comes from a good place... the Horde! :-)

Posted by: qdpsteve at May 18, 2018 02:16 AM (eMKNe)

694 Monk is the one who made the comments about my boss' power trip. Thanks, Monk.

Posted by: qdpsteve at May 18, 2018 02:18 AM (eMKNe)

695 "lives of Others" sounds sad.

Children in school used to be exhorted not to be tattletales, now in some environments they are being encouraged to be tattle tales.

I'm not sure how to counteract that in the school environment.

Posted by: AmericanKestrel at May 18, 2018 02:21 AM (IDhUW)

696 Miklos Molnar can tell you stories at May 18, 2018 02:05 AM (zCyNd)
---
I thank my lucky stars, dude. One story that sticks to my ribs is when Solzhenitsyn talks about a Red Army troop being sent to GULAG because a commissar fancied his map-case. If I were born a generation earlier that could have been me. I grew up in the Rockies, instead. There, but for the grace of G-d, go I, right?

Posted by: Yudhishthira's Dice at May 18, 2018 02:21 AM (UiRxW)

697 I call it 'kick the dog syndrome.' She gets yelled at by her boss who owns the whole firm, and she can't yell back, so she takes things out on me. Frustrating.
Posted by: qdpsteve at May 18, 2018 02:05 AM (eMKNe)

You deserve better. I'd seek other employment tomorrow and have it locked down before you tell your boss why you are leaving.

You should not be treated like a dog and a scapegoat.

Sorry you are going through this but you do have the power to put an end to it. And putting an end to it will help you out in the short run and long run with your mindset and psychological/physical health.

Good Luck.

Posted by: Monk at May 18, 2018 02:21 AM (2yfcr)

698 And now that my internet is working again, I gotta go :-)

Goodnight and thanks again to everyone. I really do count on you all for good advice as well as good humor.

Let you know how things work out at the job. Like I said, I think I might be able to give them the heave-ho around September, with or without a new job.

Posted by: qdpsteve at May 18, 2018 02:21 AM (eMKNe)

699 Dead and Co is bonus overtime Dead, imo.

Posted by: Cosmic Charlie at May 18, 2018 02:21 AM (PUmDY)

700 Monk, thanks. Yeah, I've spent way too much of my life getting kicked around. I'm sick of it beyond words at this point and nowadays would rather go back to working at home for half the pay, than deal with their attitudes.

Some people are just born without any ability to exercise self-reflection, and it seems I've always had bosses exactly like that.

Posted by: qdpsteve at May 18, 2018 02:23 AM (eMKNe)

701 Posted by: qdpsteve at May 18, 2018 02:15 AM (eMKNe)

Ok, now much clearer.

The Problem Lady appears to be doing two things: acting crazy, and "putting things on the record" in some way. I.E., any mistake, Stevie done it.

My father had an accounting firm with 100+ staff, and documents never went missing, so I wonder about the work style of the Two Ladies.

As I'm sure you know, Cali is a land planted thick with laws, many about firing/not firing. Maybe you should put some things on the record too, through a free initial consultation with one of Cali's lawyer people.

But mostly, in such a small firm, the miracle of Trumponomics may allow you to quietly make other arrangements.

Posted by: Miklos, just Miklos at May 18, 2018 02:24 AM (zCyNd)

702 696 Monk is the one who made the comments about my boss' power trip. Thanks, Monk.
Posted by: qdpsteve at May 18, 2018 02:18 AM (eMKNe)

You're welcome. Don't let her get any response from you which gets her off and signals to your workplace that you are ok with being a scapegoat and a doormat. Don't be afraid to set boundaries but end the relationship on a positive note shoe you get new employennst so that sadist will stop treating men and ill assume other people like dogs.

Posted by: Monk at May 18, 2018 02:25 AM (2yfcr)

703 Well, well, Lordie my God,
What do we got here?
She's flashin' 'cross the floor,
Make it perfectly clear.
You're the bait, and you're the hook,
Someone 'bound to take a look.
I'm your man, child. Lord of the Thighs.


There's 4 words she might want to hear.

Posted by: James Taylor at May 18, 2018 02:25 AM (0ogQG)

704 Miklos and Monk, thanks yet again. Great advice.

Okay, really gotta go now. Bye! :-)

Posted by: qdpsteve at May 18, 2018 02:26 AM (eMKNe)

705 Monk, Branford is booked for Sunday lockn show.

Posted by: Cosmic Charlie at May 18, 2018 02:29 AM (PUmDY)

706 Very sorry to hear about your sister, ibguy. She has been in my prayers. I'm glad there was no need for the pain pills. You have been a very good brother.

Posted by: Alana at May 18, 2018 02:31 AM (aFgKt)

707 707 Monk, Branford is booked for Sunday lockn show.
Posted by: Cosmic Charlie at May 18, 2018 02:29 AM (PUmDY)

I couldn't go even if I could afford it because current situation. I do miss going to shows, the music, and the good people.

Posted by: Monk at May 18, 2018 02:36 AM (2yfcr)

708 Women. Can't live em; can't kill em.
Posted by: Cicero (@cicero) at May 18, 2018 02:07 AM (ga0eq)

---

live em?

Posted by: SMH at May 18, 2018 02:38 AM (UiGQV)

709 Nothing here...

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=ri7o3XwLUmo

Posted by: Cosmic Charlie at May 18, 2018 02:39 AM (PUmDY)

710 Where's my man Art Bell?

Posted by: Miklos, from East of the Rockies at May 18, 2018 03:04 AM (zCyNd)

711 701 Dead and Co is bonus overtime Dead, imo.
Posted by: Cosmic Charlie at May 18, 2018 02:21 AM (PUmDY)

It's a multiyear encore.

Posted by: Bilwis, Devourer of Low Glycemic Souls at May 18, 2018 03:22 AM (jp0Bv)

712 I watched the video the other day on Death of Europe, sad but no borders Leftists killed it as they are tring to do here with illegals.

Posted by: Skip at May 18, 2018 03:35 AM (aC6Sd)

713 Be back soon.

Posted by: Skip at May 18, 2018 03:43 AM (aC6Sd)

714 Be back soon.

Posted by: Skip at May 18, 2018 03:43


Well........? We're waiting !

Posted by: JT at May 18, 2018 04:48 AM (JZWvj)

715 Foggy out, coffee is on.Have Eggo waffles

Posted by: Skip at May 18, 2018 04:49 AM (aC6Sd)

716 Posted by: Skip at May 18, 2018 04:49 AM (aC6Sd)
=====
Could be me as I have just drank 4 Litres of the colonscopy prep shit BLEH !!!!

Posted by: Schneidermans Brown Slave at May 18, 2018 04:51 AM (y3aQB)

717 Hints of the IG report seem to be pointing to Flaming Skull threads someday, hope it is soon.

Posted by: Skip at May 18, 2018 04:51 AM (aC6Sd)

718 "She ate Bugles like Nabisco needed their bags back."

Posted by: fluffy at May 18, 2018 04:53 AM (cHbmY)

719 Actor Joseph Campanella has passed away at 93

Posted by: Schneidermans Brown Slave at May 18, 2018 05:02 AM (y3aQB)

720 Morning my friends.

Posted by: TickledPink at May 18, 2018 05:02 AM (TL2pK)

721 Stove perc coffee takes so long

Posted by: Skip at May 18, 2018 05:04 AM (aC6Sd)

722 4 words" "The condom didn't break"

Good, yes?

Posted by: TickledPink at May 18, 2018 05:09 AM (TL2pK)

723 "She ate Bugles like Nabisco needed their bags back."

Careful with that one, might cause people to spit out their much needed coffee.

Posted by: Miklos, not a Keurig fan at May 18, 2018 05:09 AM (zCyNd)

724 Good, yes?

Posted by: TickledPink at May 18, 2018 05:09 AM (TL2pK)

Not in Sweden.

Posted by: Juliaan Assange at May 18, 2018 05:10 AM (zCyNd)

725 Out of here, everyone have a great day.

Posted by: Skip at May 18, 2018 05:25 AM (aC6Sd)

726 Good morning everyone.

Hiya Pinkster !

Posted by: JT at May 18, 2018 05:28 AM (JZWvj)

727 'Reveille, reveille, all hands heave out and trice up, the smoking lamp is lighted on all weather decks. reveille.......breakfast for the crew.'

Ahhhh.....butter coffee!

Posted by: Eromero at May 18, 2018 05:41 AM (zLDYs)

728 Good morning hordelings.

The penny dropped yesterday.

Nixon did not get J. Edgar Hoover to break into the Watergate. But Obama got Comey to effectively do the same thing.

This is not the most startling revelation.

They (the deep state) have been doing it for decades. Wink wink nudge nudge.


Posted by: JAS at May 18, 2018 05:46 AM (ii30j)

729 It's a diamond ring.

Top o'the morning. Damn why do I get up so dang early when I'm on vacation. Reckon its habit.

Posted by: Traveling Man&&& at May 18, 2018 05:47 AM (R5lpX)

730 Did anyone get...You got nice tits.

I denounce myself for lack of coffee and being slightly uncouth.

Posted by: Traveling Man&&& at May 18, 2018 05:57 AM (R5lpX)

731 Foggy out, coffee is on.Have Eggo waffles
Posted by: Skip

Hey! Leggo that Eggo. And the coffee too.

Posted by: Bruce at May 18, 2018 06:00 AM (8ikIW)

732 Dang, Eggo with peanut butter sounds good about now.

Posted by: Traveling Man&&& at May 18, 2018 06:02 AM (R5lpX)

733 Wife is out of town. I can make coffee, but, being a man, and men being so stupid and lazy, I have no idea on how to prepare food. She is coming home tonite. I hope I can hold out until then.

Posted by: Bruce at May 18, 2018 06:05 AM (8ikIW)

734 I have a toaster and a microwave. There's also the snack and cookie aisle at the local super market. Plus let's not forget the beer.

Posted by: Traveling Man&&& at May 18, 2018 06:08 AM (R5lpX)

735 Baltimore Sun,
Now that's the way to run for governor! Sort of like Mad Maxine saying she will give all blacks reparations
Jealous wants to make Maryland the first state to adopt its own single-payer health care system. He wants to reduce the state's prison population by 30 percent. He wants tuition-free education at its public colleges and universities.

Posted by: Colin at May 18, 2018 06:09 AM (UVpqu)

736 I have a toaster and a microwave. There's also the snack and cookie aisle at the local super market. Plus let's not forget the beer.
Posted by: Traveling Man

What type of beer do you put on cereal? An IPA? A lager?

Posted by: Bruce at May 18, 2018 06:11 AM (8ikIW)

737 Good morning!

Let's smile and be happy and strike fear in the heart of killjoy leftists everywhere.

Posted by: NaCly Dog at May 18, 2018 06:12 AM (hyuyC)

738 Everyone knows you put light beer on cereal.

Posted by: Traveling Man&&& at May 18, 2018 06:12 AM (R5lpX)

739 First you'll blow me.

Posted by: guys everywhere at May 18, 2018 06:13 AM (cunSq)

740 Morning all

Posted by: rickb223 at May 18, 2018 06:14 AM (RkYsP)

741 Don't forget the part where the wymen get automatic good grades. To fight the patriarchy.

But also to let everyone know your female graduates suck.


Posted by: JAS at May 18, 2018 06:14 AM (ii30j)

742 Everyone knows you put light beer on cereal.

I think it would depend on the cereal. I can't imagine Cocoa Puffs with anything but a stout.

Kaboom, of course, requires you to dig into your vintage stash of Zima.

Posted by: mikeski at May 18, 2018 06:16 AM (JGBbg)

743 And on that note, the 4 words are obviously "want Kaboom for breakfast?"

Posted by: mikeski at May 18, 2018 06:17 AM (JGBbg)

744 Everyone knows you put light beer on cereal.

I think it would depend on the cereal. I can't imagine Cocoa Puffs with anything but a stout.

Kaboom, of course, requires you to dig into your vintage stash of Zima.
Posted by: mikeski

And even thought I'm not a big fan of the beer, a Blue Moon with an orange slice because, well orange. Makes it a breakfast beverage

Posted by: Bruce at May 18, 2018 06:19 AM (8ikIW)

745 For Oatmeal, I prefer a Double Bock.

Posted by: Traveling Man&&& at May 18, 2018 06:20 AM (R5lpX)

746 The four words every girl wants to hear?

Make me a sammich.
Your sister isn't better.

Posted by: rickb223 at May 18, 2018 06:20 AM (RkYsP)

747 Four words...Your mom is hot.

Posted by: Traveling Man&&& at May 18, 2018 06:22 AM (R5lpX)

748 For Oatmeal, I prefer a Double Bock.
Posted by: Traveling Man&&&

I'd go with a cream ale. It sounds more like a dairy product

Posted by: Bruce at May 18, 2018 06:22 AM (8ikIW)

749 Last Friday of the school year. Work preps commence.

Have a golden day, that will linger in memory, and bring a smile to you.

Posted by: NaCly Dog at May 18, 2018 06:32 AM (hyuyC)

750
Pretty much finished getting the car loaded for Her Majesty's four-day drive to Richland, Washington starting Saturday morning.

She kept asking me, "Have we forgotten anything?" Just hope she didn't see the thought bubble over my head, "When you pull out of the driveway it's not my problem."

Posted by: Hadrian the Seventh at May 18, 2018 06:34 AM (4J867)

751 Last Friday of school year? Lucky you. A lot of jurisdictions have school up into June.

Posted by: Traveling Man&&& at May 18, 2018 06:34 AM (R5lpX)

752 G'morning, all.

Posted by: Village Idiot's Apprentice at May 18, 2018 06:35 AM (EyPfd)

753 Four words- buy something for yourself.

Posted by: Beh Had at May 18, 2018 06:35 AM (C5yDT)

754 It will become your problem when after two days on the road, she calls you and says, You forgot to load "such and such" up. Can you send it to me please?

Posted by: Traveling Man&&& at May 18, 2018 06:37 AM (R5lpX)

755 Random early morning thoughts...

...Molly Hemmingway is ridiculously beautiful....

...and coffee...

..also...

...The GOP is a useless pile of dog shit.


Posted by: Kreplach at May 18, 2018 06:39 AM (UfMVm)

756
Once had to send Dutch's medicine to a National Specialty by FedEx, so I am familiar with the phenomenon.

Posted by: Hadrian the Seventh at May 18, 2018 06:39 AM (4J867)

757 I wonder who Trump will piss off today?

Posted by: Village Idiot's Apprentice at May 18, 2018 06:41 AM (EyPfd)

758 Four words women want to hear.


Donnie Baker is single.

"I'll say it right to his face in cursive."



Posted by: Larsen E. Whipsnade "This means war Mitchell" at May 18, 2018 06:42 AM (bML9A)

759 "I can't believe you didn't remind me to pack my..."

Posted by: Moron Robbie - I choose to live my life as a black woman at May 18, 2018 06:43 AM (VgKNm)

760
"I can't believe you didn't remind me to pack my..."

Are you spying on the Schloss Hadrian? If any item is missing around the house, I am always the last person who used it. Always.

But as a married man, I am accustomed to my role as universal blame recipient.

Posted by: Hadrian the Seventh at May 18, 2018 06:46 AM (4J867)

761 I guess after a while, I'll go up to the other property and see if my water line holds up with pressure on it. It was a muddy mess yesterday when I was hooking it up. Nothing like standing on your head in a mud hole gluing up PVC pipe and dodging the rain.

Posted by: Traveling Man&&& at May 18, 2018 06:46 AM (R5lpX)

762 Every man when he gets married, has that tattoo stamped on his forehead... Scapegoat.

Posted by: Traveling Man&&& at May 18, 2018 06:48 AM (R5lpX)

763 Are you spying on the Schloss Hadrian? If any item is missing around the house, I am always the last person who used it. Always.



But as a married man, I am accustomed to my role as universal blame recipient.



Posted by: Hadrian the Seventh at May 18, 2018 06:46 AM (4J867)


---

I've been married for a loooong time. I used to not catch how every single thing is eventually my fault.

Posted by: Moron Robbie - I choose to live my life as a black woman at May 18, 2018 06:49 AM (VgKNm)

764 "Every man when he gets married, has that tattoo stamped on his forehead... Scapegoat."

Does that carry over to same sex unions as well?

The accusations could be a hoot.

Posted by: Village Idiot's Apprentice at May 18, 2018 06:49 AM (EyPfd)

765 VIA, I got your email. Interesting stuff. I'm on a plane flying back from Dallas. I'll respond today. Are you in district 42B

Posted by: Timon at May 18, 2018 06:50 AM (Q4w6+)

766 721 Actor Joseph Campanella has passed away at 93
Posted by: Schneidermans Brown Slave at May 18, 2018 05:02 AM (y3aQB)

------

I remember him from the science show he did.

Posted by: MAGA at May 18, 2018 06:51 AM (LnOh3)

767 Every man when he gets married, has that tattoo stamped on his forehead... Scapegoat.

Posted by: Traveling Man at May 18, 2018 06:48 AM (R5lpX)

I have a nephew who is getting married for the third time. His first two wife's took him for everything he owned. We are talking two bankruptcies, so far.

Posted by: Colin at May 18, 2018 06:51 AM (UVpqu)

768 Does that carry over to same sex unions as well?

The accusations could be a hoot.
Posted by: Village Idiot's Apprentice

Not really. Everyone knows that same sex unions can only be FABuloussssss

Posted by: Bruce at May 18, 2018 06:51 AM (8ikIW)

769 I've been married for a loooong time. I used to not catch how every single thing is eventually my fault.

So the four words are, "It is my fault!"

Posted by: Concerned People's Front at May 18, 2018 06:52 AM (rdl6o)

770 Timon,

Have a safe flight back. Bring an umbrella.

I'll shoot an email with our location

Posted by: Village Idiot's Apprentice at May 18, 2018 06:54 AM (EyPfd)

771 My wife is a good one. If only I could learn her that a 50 foot extension cord does not and should not be wound up into the tightest neatest smallest coil.
Damn thing is a PITA to use after that

Posted by: Bruce at May 18, 2018 06:55 AM (8ikIW)

772 So the four words are, "It is my fault!"

"Sorry, it's my fault" is slightly better.

Posted by: mikeski at May 18, 2018 06:57 AM (JGBbg)

773 Are you spying on the Schloss Hadrian? If any item is missing around the house, I am always the last person who used it. Always.

But as a married man, I am accustomed to my role as universal blame recipient.
Posted by: Hadrian the Seventh


I broke the code. Don't ask your lady "where do you want to eat", but rather, ask her to guess where you are taking her to dinner.

When she answers with a guess, taker her to the first place she guesses.

Mind blown.

Posted by: rickb223 at May 18, 2018 06:57 AM (RkYsP)

774 Last time I was at DFW, I get to my gate and they announced that the gate had changed to another terminal. I screamed at the gate attendant that the better hold the plane. I'm lucky they didn't arrest me.

Posted by: Concerned People's Front at May 18, 2018 06:58 AM (rdl6o)

775 If only I could learn her that a 50 foot extension cord does not and should not be wound up into the tightest neatest smallest coil.
Damn thing is a PITA to use after that
Posted by: Bruce at May 18, 2018 06:55 AM (8ikIW)

Yeah and I especially hate when some idiot wraps one up on their arm and it ends up in a figure eight coil.

Posted by: Traveling Man&&& at May 18, 2018 06:59 AM (R5lpX)

776 Finally watched the girl totally not seeking attention turn her whole labia into a necklace. Spoiler: The labia, was gray.

Posted by: Monk at May 18, 2018 06:59 AM (2yfcr)

777 Sorry, it's my fault" is slightly better.

But that's five words! And btw, isn't the "sorry" understood?

Posted by: Concerned People's Front at May 18, 2018 07:00 AM (rdl6o)

778
To give Her Majesty credit, she's an excellent logistician.

Posted by: Hadrian the Seventh at May 18, 2018 07:01 AM (q237g)

779 More of that Right Wing violence, we keep hearing about?

https://fxn.ws/2GqpLTr

Posted by: Village Idiot's Apprentice at May 18, 2018 07:02 AM (EyPfd)

780 Does anyone here really care about the "royal wedding"??

Posted by: Colin at May 18, 2018 07:03 AM (UVpqu)

781 If you look at MS-13s motto, would that in and of itself qualify them for the official label as a terrorist organization?

Posted by: Village Idiot's Apprentice at May 18, 2018 07:04 AM (EyPfd)

782 "Does anyone here really care about the "royal wedding"??"

Only if Pippa's azz shows up in that dress again.

Posted by: Village Idiot's Apprentice at May 18, 2018 07:04 AM (EyPfd)

783 More of that Right Wing violence, we keep hearing about?

Posted by: Village Idiot's Apprentice at May 18, 2018 07:02 AM


Nut case for sure. Did you read this part, though?

The man also reportedly was yelling about Trump and placed an American flag over the lobby counter.

I think leftists spontaneously combust upon touching an American flag unless they've set it ablaze first.

Posted by: Forgot My Nic at May 18, 2018 07:06 AM (LOgQ4)

784 Has anybody mentioned Dave's opening words in this thread, and the cartoon TV show that it was ripped from?

Posted by: Village Idiot's Apprentice at May 18, 2018 07:06 AM (EyPfd)

785 If you look at MS-13s motto


If it were in Latin, it would sound real classy

Posted by: Bruce at May 18, 2018 07:06 AM (8ikIW)

786 More of that Right Wing violence, we keep hearing about?

https://fxn.ws/2GqpLTr
Posted by: Village Idiot's Apprentice at May 18, 2018 07:02 AM (EyPfd)

Sounds more like "Attempted suicide by cop" to me.

Posted by: Traveling Man&&& at May 18, 2018 07:07 AM (R5lpX)

787 Does anyone here really care about the "royal wedding"?

Zero interest. I'm having difficulty caring about the NBA playoffs, which have mostly sucked.

Posted by: Concerned People's Front at May 18, 2018 07:07 AM (rdl6o)

788 More of that Right Wing violence, we keep hearing about?


I wondered what Charlie Sheen was up to.

Posted by: Mr. Peebles at May 18, 2018 07:07 AM (oVJmc)

789 I have my first lady doctor appointment ever today.

I'm really, really nervous. At my age, I know it needs to happen but still...it's a bit scary. I actually feel nauseous.

Posted by: TickledPink at May 18, 2018 07:09 AM (TL2pK)

790 Has anybody mentioned Dave's opening words in this thread, and the cartoon TV show that it was ripped from?
Posted by: Village Idiot's Apprentice

Searching the posts, no one did.

No love for George...or his jungle

Posted by: Bruce at May 18, 2018 07:09 AM (8ikIW)

791 789 I have my first lady doctor appointment ever today.

I'm really, really nervous. At my age, I know it needs to happen but still...it's a bit scary. I actually feel nauseous.
Posted by: TickledPink at May 18, 2018 07:09 AM (TL2pK)

So are you seeing a female doctor or seeing a doctor for your female parts?

Posted by: rhennigantx at May 18, 2018 07:10 AM (JFO2v)

792 I have my first lady doctor appointment ever today.

I'm really, really nervous. At my age, I know it needs to happen but still...it's a bit scary. I actually feel nauseous.
Posted by: TickledPink

Not to worry, lady doctors are almost as good as men doctors.

/s

Posted by: Bruce at May 18, 2018 07:10 AM (8ikIW)

793 I actually feel nauseous.
Posted by: TickledPink at May 18, 2018 07:09 AM (TL2pK)

You're pregnant?

LOL just kidding. I'm sure it will be fine. Hugs.

Posted by: votermom pimping NEW Moron-authored books! at May 18, 2018 07:11 AM (hMwEB)

794 Does anyone here really care about the "royal wedding"?
==

only to snark at it

latest is that Prince Charles will walk Markle down the aisle

So gauche

Posted by: votermom pimping NEW Moron-authored books! at May 18, 2018 07:13 AM (hMwEB)

795 JJ is NOOD

Posted by: Bruce at May 18, 2018 07:14 AM (8ikIW)

796 Not to worry, lady doctors are almost as good as men doctors.



/s

Posted by: Bruce at May 18, 2018 07:10 AM (8ikIW)

Prostate check is better with a women doctor!

Posted by: Colin at May 18, 2018 07:15 AM (UVpqu)

797 TickledPink

I saw a tee shirt for sale in Ocean City.

'I'm not a gynecologist,
but I'll take a look at it.'


Probably not helpful.

Good luck.

Mrs VIA suffers from White Coat anxiety to an unbelievable degree, so I somewhat understand what you are feeling.

Posted by: Village Idiot's Apprentice at May 18, 2018 07:16 AM (EyPfd)

798 Last time I was at DFW, I get to my gate and they announced that the gate had changed to another terminal. I screamed at the gate attendant that the better hold the plane. I'm lucky they didn't arrest me.
Posted by: Concerned People's Front

If Trump wants the votes of business travellers he should shitcan the "on time departure metric' and go with an arrival metric.

Posted by: Jean at May 18, 2018 07:35 AM (MS0+a)

799 "I'll eat your pussy."

Wait. Is that out of bounds here.
I'm thinking no.

FIAF and all.

Posted by: Cluebat at May 18, 2018 03:25 PM (y67bA)

800 Works every time.

Posted by: Cluebat at May 18, 2018 03:29 PM (Mv/2X)

801 Four words:

Test came back negative.

That's not my dildo.

The burning goes away.

Your sister doesn't swallow.

.... That'll do pig, that'll do.

Posted by: Malaking Baboy at May 19, 2018 01:10 PM (0vgCj)

802 Four words "All taxation is theft."
... well, they're the words I want to hear.

Posted by: Sarah Hoyt at May 20, 2018 12:07 AM (zlzYb)

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