Horrifying! A Gang of Marauding Reindeer Threaten Local Family Demanding Treats!

I know this tweet says they're not reindeer, but gazelles, but you know: #FakeNews.

Your corporate media masters always try to hide the unspeakable truth.

A Gazelle entered a shop in the state of Colorado. The owner decided to give him some chocolate and biscuits. He left and half an hour later he came back bringing his entire family. pic.twitter.com/fisp1w9Tkq
— Mr. Drinks On Me (@Mr_DrinksOnMe) December 20, 2017

Happy Weekend-Before-Christmas!!!

And a big thank you to the cobloggers who basically run this place all day long except for the few hours after the crack of noon when I post a few stories.

Posted by: Ace at 08:00 PM

Comments

(Jump to bottom of comments)

1 Merry Christmas, Ace!

Posted by: rickl at December 22, 2017 07:58 PM (sdi6R)

2

YAY Aos Tradition!

Posted by: Soothsayer at December 22, 2017 07:58 PM (gZhuP)

3 Christmas Wrapping is the greatest Christmas song of all time. I'll fight each and every one who denies it!

Posted by: Wyatt Earp at December 22, 2017 07:58 PM (zB8Dq)

4

reminds me of that I'm A Gnu song

Posted by: Soothsayer at December 22, 2017 07:58 PM (gZhuP)

5 is the loneliest number

Posted by: Rudolph the Red knows rain, dear. at December 22, 2017 07:58 PM (fSf/G)

6 Mule deer.

Close enough to reindeer!

Posted by: pogomip at December 22, 2017 07:59 PM (5i/Zh)

7 Ace stomped. But for how long. For how long.

Posted by: BurtTC at December 22, 2017 07:59 PM (Pz4pT)

8

Should you give a reindeer chocolate?

Reindeers are kinda like dogs, no?

Posted by: Soothsayer at December 22, 2017 08:00 PM (gZhuP)

9 Close enough to ready to go for tomorrow. Now for the weather to cooperate...oh who am I kidding, it could be wall to wall lightning and tornadoes, I'm going tomorrow.

After last year, I owe it to myself.

Posted by: Brother Cavil, this space for rent! Call 1-800-MORON-AD for details! at December 22, 2017 08:00 PM (lLeln)

10 What am I saying? 5 isn't the loneliest number. This raffle is fixed.

Posted by: Phinehas Fogg at December 22, 2017 08:00 PM (fSf/G)

11 I do hate that video, but I'm like that.

Posted by: BurtTC at December 22, 2017 08:01 PM (Pz4pT)

12
Gazelles? Reindeer?

WTF, have none of these dimwits heard of on-line nature guides?

Posted by: Krebs v Carnot: Epic Battle of the Cycling Stars (TM) at December 22, 2017 08:04 PM (pNxlR)

13 OT. I was going to post this in the last thread.

Due to an odd quirk of timing, a Japanese rocket and a SpaceX rocket will launch about 1 minute apart tonight, and 8:26 and 8:27 pm EST respectively.

I think this is the Japanese webcast, but I'm not certain, since it's in Japanese:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oTScolqEcr8

Here is the SpaceX webcast, which has already started:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wtdjCwo6d3Q

Posted by: rickl at December 22, 2017 08:05 PM (sdi6R)

14 People be confused, I suppose. Not sure which thread to comment on.

Posted by: BurtTC at December 22, 2017 08:05 PM (Pz4pT)

15 Chain Migration!!

Actually, I love the story. So sweet. I'd run out for reindeer food. Those are not gazelles.

Posted by: Professor Christmas Chaos aka gg at December 22, 2017 08:08 PM (XUnia)

16 Yes, it would be nice to know which thread to comment on. I guess I can give copy and paste a workout.

Posted by: rickl at December 22, 2017 08:10 PM (sdi6R)

17 If you give a gazelle a cookie...

Posted by: Insomniac - Bah humbug! at December 22, 2017 08:12 PM (NWiLs)

18 There was a thing on BBC today about reindeer where they interviews a bunch of Lapplanders about reindeer.

Girl reindeer keep their antlers until January, boy reindeer she theirs in November, unless they've been castrated.

So, if Rudolph had antlers and was flying at Christmas he was either a girl or a castrato.

Posted by: Bandersnatch at December 22, 2017 08:14 PM (fuK7c)

19 Those are Mule Deer.

Posted by: garrett at December 22, 2017 08:16 PM (zWJgd)

20 Great Gazoos

Posted by: Bertram Cabot, Jr. at December 22, 2017 08:18 PM (IqV8l)

21 Chocolate for Reindeer = Apples for Bigfoot

Posted by: Todd Standing, Discovering Bigfoot at December 22, 2017 08:25 PM (yyMsG)

22 Merry Christmas Ace!

Posted by: Delayna at December 22, 2017 08:28 PM (KNFU5)

23 See: You Give a Mouse a Cookie.

Posted by: Pete in Texas at December 22, 2017 08:29 PM (ofRrX)

24 17

Insomniac beat me to the picture book reference.

Bah, humbug, indded!

Posted by: Pete in Texas at December 22, 2017 08:32 PM (ofRrX)

25 Teach a mouse to bake cookies.

Posted by: Bertram Cabot, Jr. at December 22, 2017 08:33 PM (IqV8l)

26 Gazelles in Colorado? WTF? Must be a mistake.

Posted by: The Inexplicable Dr. Julius Strangepork at December 22, 2017 08:36 PM (biIsL)

27 Caribou, probably.

Posted by: The Inexplicable Dr. Julius Strangepork at December 22, 2017 08:36 PM (biIsL)

28 Caribou are delicious. So are deer.

Posted by: The Inexplicable Dr. Julius Strangepork at December 22, 2017 08:37 PM (biIsL)

29 ...or a castrato.

Posted by: Bandersnatch at December 22, 2017 08:14 PM...

"castrato" sound like an Italian made electric guitar

Posted by: AltonJackson at December 22, 2017 08:38 PM (KCxzN)

30 Baby mooses!

Posted by: pogomip at December 22, 2017 08:38 PM (5i/Zh)

31 Would not want to live next to that house.

Posted by: Hepcat at December 22, 2017 08:41 PM (5b+Sr)

32 Pogomip and garrett are right. Mule deer. Also, female, not male.

Posted by: stace at December 22, 2017 08:42 PM (6HFDU)

33 Chocolate mooses...

Posted by: pogomip at December 22, 2017 08:43 PM (5i/Zh)

34 HOW TO ROAST VENISON

You will want to do this only with a young deer or antelope, preferably a doe or yearling. For non-hunters, a leg of lamb or goat also works well. But you may get lucky and have a deer come to your door begging for treats.

Don't try this recipe with larger, older animals, which will be too large and too tough. Kick those tough bastards to the curb.

A good gauge is weight: The leg should never weigh more than 8 pounds.

Serves: 6 people

Ingredients
1 hind leg of venison, shank removed
Salt
6 to 8 garlic cloves, peeled and cut into thick slivers
1/4 cup squash seed oil or other flavorful oil
About 1 cup of red wine, stock or water
2 tablespoons minced sage
2 tablespoons freshly ground black pepper

Instructions
Take the venison leg out of the fridge and salt it well on all sides. Let it sit on a cutting board for 30 minutes before proceeding. After 30 minutes have elapsed, preheat the oven to 450�F. Take a sharp knife with a narrow point and jab holes all over the leg of venison, tucking a sliver of garlic into each hole. You can use more or less garlic, depending on your taste.

Pat the venison dry, then massage the oil all over it. Set the leg of venison on a rack in a roasting pan and pour enough wine, stock or water into the bottom of the roasting pan to just moisten the bottom -- don't cover the bottom or the meat will steam. You just want to limit the amount of smoke you will be producing. Put the venison in the oven and roast until it is nicely browned, but no more than 20 to 25 minutes.
Take the venison out of the oven and drop the temperature to 350�F. Carefully sprinkle the minced sage and black pepper all over the roast; use tongs to pick it up if it is too hot. If you want, drizzle a little more oil over the top of the roast. Adding the spices at this point prevents them from burning.

Set the venison back into the oven and roast until the deepest part of the meat reaches the temperature you want: If you pull the venison at 125�F, it will be rare once it has rested. I pull mine at 130�F, which is closer to medium. Do not let the venison cook past 145�F under any circumstances, or it will get tough and gray. How long will this take? At least 25 more minutes, and up to another hour. Check the temperature after 25 minutes, then every 10 minutes after that. A general rule is about 20 minutes per pound at 350�F.
When the venison has hit the temperature you want, move it to a cutting board and tent it loosely with foil. Don't carve it for at least 10 minutes; I wait a full 20 minutes.

Carve and serve.

Posted by: Hepcat at December 22, 2017 08:48 PM (5b+Sr)

35 Deer. Dinner. Venison sausage.

Posted by: NaCly Dog at December 22, 2017 09:00 PM (hyuyC)

36 Huzzah! to our skilled and wonderful Co-bloggers.

Ace brings the sharp analysis and the funny, with works that slice and dice like a Cuisinart.

The co-bloggers grow that start into a sorta well-rounded community. Well as much as us Morons can take.

Posted by: NaCly Dog at December 22, 2017 09:04 PM (hyuyC)

37 If you do not start a thread before the 25th: Merry Christmas Ace!

Posted by: NaCly Dog at December 22, 2017 09:06 PM (hyuyC)

38 Happy Christmas, Ace of Spades!

Posted by: booknlass at December 22, 2017 09:17 PM (CXrpl)

39 i found a new favorite Christmas song, Ace, and want to share it with you. The Band's "Christmas Must Be Tonight"

https://youtu.be/Y5bKtRU0Q6c

Posted by: booknlass at December 22, 2017 09:33 PM (CXrpl)

40 Those are Southern Mountain Gazelles. Found only in Colorado and northern New Mexico, their range varies widely depending on local rates of alcohol consumption.

Posted by: gebrauchshund at December 22, 2017 10:06 PM (fYnUU)

41 "Money can't buy happiness, but I can park my yacht right next to it and just walk over."
(or something to that effect)
1980's philosopher David Lee Roth.

Posted by: Burger Chef at December 23, 2017 08:11 AM (RuIsu)

42 Merry Christmas Ace.

This is a genuine tradition for me. (That is the Christmas Wrapping video.)

Thank you, man. - For doing it every year.

God bless you.

Posted by: Cold Civil War at December 25, 2017 11:56 PM (Z2PYk)

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