Thanksgivingmanship, Reposted

Reposted Yet Again. This is once again a thing, as progressives talk up how they're going to inflict their lunacies on the rest of their families on a day that is dedicated to gratitude, not grievance.

Chuck Schumer: Bring a chart to Thanksgiving dinner to bash GOP tax plan https://t.co/mAo9dDPfC7 pic.twitter.com/sA7HoAprOF
— Washington Examiner (@dcexaminer) November 22, 2017

Dear White People:

Make sure you fight with your family, on Thanksgiving, to appease BLM. pic.twitter.com/83DkL58pSd
— Based Monitored🎄🇺🇸 (@BasedMonitored) November 22, 2017

How to Talk to Your Family About Planned Parenthood This #Thanksgiving https://t.co/SPmJHlGxiW pic.twitter.com/qQNryn15Mv
— Planned Parenthood (@ppmn) November 23, 2016

Some other people just turned it into Thanksgrivance Day, like Joy Reid:

Gotta say these traditions -- the turkey pardon, and other cutesy things presidents do -- are lost to the ether for me when Trump performs them. The legal, ethical and moral clouds over his presidency are like a film on the camera lens.
— Joy Reid (@JoyAnnReid) November 21, 2017

Frequent James Comey marionette Ben Wittes is also in the mood for pills and razor blades:

A frank confession: I’m not thankful this year and I’m not going to pretend to be. I’m defiant. If the Pilgrims had come all this way to find on our shores America’s current domestic politics, they would have vomited all the food at the first Thanksgiving dinner. #sorrynotsorry
— Benjamin Wittes (@benjaminwittes) November 22, 2017

He's one X chromosome and 30 years away from chopping off one side of his hair and dying the rest of it blue.

Below, the repost on how to deal with these deeply damaged bits of once-human debris:

Thanksgivingship: How To Survive Your Dull-Witted Progressive Adultchildren Relatives Who've Been Reading Vox and Buzzfeed Articles About How to Survive You

Oxford Don Stephen Potter introduced the world to the principles of Gamesmanship [don't comment on old posts, the system will ban you] the way to win at games by resort to cheap ploys which were very close to cheating without being technically cheating. He later expanded his inquiries into the general field of "Lifemanship," the discipline of embracing life in a dickish and hostile spirit, sabotaging social rivals without quite breaching social etiquette.

Given that the progressive elder-children-yet-not-quite-adults you'll be encountering this Thanksgiving (who I will henceforth refer to as "grownchildren") will be armed to the teeth with Vox explainers and Obamacare propaganda, I herewith humbly submit these first sketches of a new branch of Lifemanship I call "Thankgivingmanship," which I define as the gentle art of insulting the stupid without alerting them to the fact that they've been insulted at all.

It is the goal of the dedicated Thanksgivingman, then, to achieve the sublime art of giving offense without offense being taken.

My basic strategy is thus: It would be as rude of you as it is rude of your cretinous grownchildren kin to allow a Thanksgiving dinner into a stupid game of Rachel Maddow Talking Points and their rebuttals.

So, rather than confront the unemployed idiots who will be assailing you, I propose instead to superficially avoid conflict and engagement on their dummy mouthflappings, and appear instead to agree with them.

But -- and here is the point -- a skilled Thanksgivingman will only appear to agree with the grownchildren to feeble intellects, such as those possessed by the grownchildren themselves. Instead of disagreeing with them -- which will cause argument and anger -- you will instead claim to agree with them, while in fact contradicting them, subverting them, of baffling them with statements that nearly, but do not quite, make sense.

Our definitions and mission now established, we turn to the first of our three primary Thanksgivingmanship gambits:

The Neutral or Nonsensical Statement Disguised as Agreement.Progressives do not process language the same way human beings do; they chiefly adduce meaning from tone and body language, like dogs.

This means that you can say many things which are either irrelevant, nonsensical, or otherwise not in agreement with the progressive subcreatures you're temporarily amidst so long as you deliver your words with a warm smile and a lot of nodding.

You may also use uptalk to express an insincere solidarity. As with dogs and babies, progressives find artificially high-pitched vocal tones to be soothing and possibly a prelude to Walkies and Snackies.

Whenever a progressive grownchild says something stupid and ignorant, which will be always, do not engage on the merits. Progressive grownchildren will become highly emotional and agitated at the slightest show of disagreement, and may wet the floor or claw at the furniture.

Instead, say something which is either neutral or nonsensical (which successfully communicates your true beliefs to other real human beings capable of deciphering obvious meaning) while deploying smiling, nodding, and uptalk to falsely convey agreement with to the more-stunted intellect of the grownchild.

For example, if a progressive grownchild says, "Rachel Maddow is just so amazing," you can respond by nodding and saying "Absolutely, Rachel Maddow is without doubt a mammal." (Or: "A mammal...?")

Possible responses to common grownchild mouthchatter include:

"Well I see that the 'Faux Noise Machice' has gotten everyone riled up about so-called 'terrorism' again."

"Doubtless! Terrorists only win when allow them to make us afraid, or dead." (Or: "Afraid, or dead...?")

"Can't people see that stupid cons are doing Just What ISIS Wants us to do?"

"It's so obvious-- the attacks in Paris weren't just an attack on human lives. They were an attack on our shared human capacity to be alive." ("To be alive, and stuff...?")

This is a very simple one, which can be deployed in a variety of contexts:

"None of this is Obama's fault -- he's doing the best he can to keep America out of another War of Choice."

"Boy that Obama-- he is really something, isn't he?"

As the evening wears on, and you are preparing to depart, you may become somewhat more blatant in your stealth insults, like so:

"I just read an explainer about this on Vox."

"Today's world is so remarkable! When I was young, we had to read books and derive our own thinking for ourselves. What a time to be alive, when sounding vaguely informed is no longer a luxury of the intellectual, but a cheaply assembled ware available to those of more common intellect!"

Fake Statistics. It was my old friend Boston Irish who alerted me to this ticklish little trope, when he observed that no matter how absurd the statistic you proposed to a progressive, if that statistic seemed to call attention to whatever bugaboos xhe was excited about, xhe would respond with a gushing "I know, right?!"

He demonstrated this to me at a party by interrupting a couple of liberals talking, and announcing to them:

"You know, based on current statistics, in ten years, the entire state of California will be homeless."

"Right! I know!" came the response.

By the way, that is not schtick. That is not a joke written for this blogpost. I was really there, he really said that, that really happened.

After having secured the agreement to his obviously-crank "statistics," he turned to me with a slightly arched eyebrow and sipped his beer in quiet triumph.

This propensity of grownchildren to agree to whatever fantastical "studies" and "statistics" you propose to them can be exploited for much private merriment at the holidays.

Other gambits include:

* "You know, the average family of four pays more in ATM fees to the Big Banksters than they spend on rent."

* "By the year 2030, global warming predicts that the entire North American landmass will be flooded by seawater and wolves."

* "99.4% of the world's wealth is controlled by six-tenths of a single person."

* "More people are killed every year by shooting accidentally shooting themselves than who died in all the wars in the world combined, except for the Korean War."

You need to throw that "Except for the Korean War" in at the end because the claim, on its face, is too preposterous, so you deduct out Korean War deaths to bring it into the real of the plausible. (Plausible, that is, for progressive grownchildren.) It makes like you've done the math and just have to make this one little adjustment to get the numbers to work.

You may follow Boston Irish's trope of the obviously-crank "liberal study" claim, or you can try your hand at claims which are simply baffling nonsense:

* "Studies have proven that if you have a gun in your house, you are more in danger of being struck by lightning than being bitten by a rattlesnake. Think about it."

A minor variation of the Fake Statistic ploy is the Fake Profundity gambit, in which you propose some ludicrous "deep thought" which derives not from social science, but from your own personal philosophical inquiry.

For example, this one is best delivered with chin uplifted, Obama-style, and a metaphysical glaze of the eye:

* "For what is it that gives the terrorists power -- their weapons, or our primitive, irrational fear that they will kill us with their weapons?"

It is generally a useful practice to prefix such bits of nonsense with faux-biblical language, such as "For what..." or "Lo" and "Thus and so."

Fake Quotes. Progressives love fake quotes -- they just love dressing up whatever passes for this week's SJW Conventional Wisdom and attributing it to some historic figure.

Generally, these historic figures are very well known, because progressives don't know any historic figures except the very well known. Thomas Jefferson is always a popular choice. For "bad sounding quotes," Hitler is preferred. Napoleon and Marcus Aurelius may be deployed as well, but be prepared for some confused looks as to who it is you're talking about.

Offering a ridiculous quote can bring you and any other lively minds at the table great amusement. Your target will probably not notice the quote is fake, because he is an imbecile, and also because you'll have a serene, self-satisfied smile on your face as you say it, which he will read as "A Fellow Progressive in Discursive Mode."

This minor camouflage will permit you to smuggle huge amounts of nonsense in the guise of Wisdom of the Ancients.

Feel free to subvert your noddingsmiles with messages that are blatantly mottos of the NRA, if only the grownchild could understand simple words, which they cannot.

For example:

"Wasn't it Mahatma Gandhi who said, 'It is not necessarily the first man to shoot who wins the battle, but it is always the last man shooting who wins the day'?"

"As Gertrude Stein said" -- and I should say here that this gambit works best when you pronounce this name, for no particular reason, in an outrageous German accent, as Gaertruude Schteinn.

So, let's begin again: "As Gaertruude Schteinn observed, 'The man who is slowest to arm himself is quickest to savor the bounties of Heaven.'"

Another gambit is to offer up the following quotes, which are applicable in a wide range of situations.

"I forget which scientist said it, maybe Neil DeGrasse Tyson, but it's worth repeating: 'Wars of religion always make me laugh because basically you're fighting over who has the best imaginary friend.'"

Or:

"A great philosopher, Gaertruud Von Schteinn, once said, 'Fear causes hesitation, and hesitation will cause your worst fears to come true'?"

You will get big nods for these Aphorisms of the Sages. You yourself can take pleasure in the knowledge that both quotes are from the movie Point Break, delivered by Johnny Utah (Keanu Reaves) and Bodhi (Patrick Swayze), respectively.

If you get any verbal expressions of agreement, a "hear-hear" or an "amen," you can extend the joke by saying, "In the words of the spiritual master Boddhisatva, 'You can do what you want, and make up your own rules. Why be a servant to the law, when you can be its master...?" or "Six seconds and we're going to be meat waffles.'"

Make this trope your own. Have fun with it. If you want to claim that it was Niccolo Machiavelli who first advised, "Sweep the leg, Johnny," go with it, but try to get your more subtle Fake Quotes in before "going big" like that.

A Final Word. At some point, even an experienced Thanksgivingman will go too far, and give his game away. At that point, there will be sulks and silences, and the Thanksgivingman will have actually failed at his goal, which is to give offense without offense being taken.

In such straits, the Thanksgivingman, in order to be the polite person he wishes to be, will have to apologize -- it is the verminous grownchildren who have come to bicker and strife, after all, not the well-mannered Thankgivingman.

However, for the zealous Thanksgivingman, even an apology can be exploited for further Thanksgivingmanship points.

For example, if the childanimal you are speaking with declares:

"You're micro-aggressing me."

...then be sure to respond,

"Ah, then please sincerely accept my most micro apologies."

Posted by: Ace at 03:37 PM

Comments

(Jump to bottom of comments)

1 Wow!

Posted by: Slapweasel, (Cold1), (T) at November 22, 2017 03:34 PM (Ckg4U)

2 The first person I hear up-talking this holiday gets a throat punch. No warning.

Posted by: Under Fire at November 22, 2017 03:36 PM (r9UYA)

3 My God! It's full of words!

Posted by: Your Decidedly Devious Uncle Palpatine, Booking Agent, Aero Pinochet at November 22, 2017 03:37 PM (onwtH)

4 OMGeeeeeeee - Planned Parenthood wants you to talk abortion on Thanksgiving?!?

Posted by: Lizzy at November 22, 2017 03:37 PM (W+vEI)

5 Dammit, Ace . . . you cooking your turkey overnight or waiting until the morning to pop it into the oven? And, okay, very close to the top of my list of "shit I'm thankful for" is this right here, Ace's place. And, of course, the incomparable Ace himself.

Posted by: Peaches at November 22, 2017 03:37 PM (14URa)

6 (nearly willowed) OT tech question:

I'm planning on getting a ps4 this weekend
(gamestop is running the same deal as everyone else knocking the price
down to $199 which is frankly where consoles ought to be, but also
giving out $50 gift cards according to the ad I got Monday). Does anyone
have an opinion on the $10 stand so you can set it on it's side?

It
obviously takes less shelf space that way, and I'm hoping that puts the
vents far enough from the supporting surface to discourage dust
accumulation, but I wonder about the physics/engineering of rotating the
disc at that angle, i.e. if I'm taking a risk of added wear and tear
from the position?

Posted by: Methos at November 22, 2017 03:38 PM (XQvuQ)

7 Lot less grievance mongering and butt hurt this year.

The rage and the absolute shock are less.

The lefties are still mad, but not psychotic.

Posted by: rd at November 22, 2017 03:38 PM (4dz1m)

8 Wasn't it Mahatma Gandhi who said, 'It is not necessarily the first man to shoot who wins the battle, but it is always the last man shooting who wins the day'?

I'm going to use this on SIL.

Posted by: Under Fire at November 22, 2017 03:38 PM (r9UYA)

9 Informed the reprobates. My duty is done.

Posted by: Your Decidedly Devious Uncle Palpatine, Booking Agent, Aero Pinochet at November 22, 2017 03:38 PM (onwtH)

10 Reposting because this is funny dammit:

Random The Twats thingy:

From the Wyoming (MN) Police:

Tonight is one of the biggest drinking nights of the year so we'll have extra patrols out looking for drunk drivers. We'll be blaring 'Don't stop believing' out of our squad PA system. Anyone who runs up to us singing the chorus gets PBT'd. It's a foolproof plan. Drive sober.

https://twitter.com/wyomingpd/status/933429989931962369

Posted by: alexthechick - Ragebunny. Hopping all around. at November 22, 2017 03:38 PM (mf5HN)

11 Benjamin Wittes clearly has no idea who the Pilgrims were or what they believed.

They'd appalled, that's true, but not at all for the reasons he imagines.

Posted by: WhatWhatWhat? at November 22, 2017 03:39 PM (ul9CR)

12 It
obviously takes less shelf space that way
Posted by: Methos at November 22, 2017 03:38 PM (XQvuQ)
Please don't taunt Ace about shelves. Not on Thanksgiving, which is obviously a sacred holiday to him.

Posted by: Peaches at November 22, 2017 03:39 PM (14URa)

13 Chuck Schumer: Bring a chart to Thanksgiving dinner to bash GOP tax plan

Nothing says Thanksgiving fun like bashing a tax plan

Posted by: TheQuietMan at November 22, 2017 03:40 PM (SiINZ)

14 The Pilgrims came to this country for freedom of religion. They also desired a theocracy, at least in their midst, and their religion was very strict. I'm sure that's what Benjamin Wittes wants. Either that, or he didn't study history at all. Either/or.

Posted by: Barb the Evil Genius at November 22, 2017 03:40 PM (FQKBL)

15 Oh, and all this "Dear White People" stuff is rayciss.

Posted by: WhatWhatWhat? at November 22, 2017 03:40 PM (ul9CR)

16 Bwahahahahahaha

Yes, b/c ruining a holiday by yelling at people and giving them indigestion is the way to win people to your side.

Now to read the wall of words...or at least try.

Posted by: Gumdrop Gorilla is fan of Professor Chaos at November 22, 2017 03:40 PM (St5qb)

17 I am lucky. All of my leftist shit relatives are no longer considered relatives. If any start that crap, I plan to show them the door and take their plate off the table.

Posted by: Inspector Cussword at November 22, 2017 03:41 PM (c1VpD)

18 Announce before the drinking starts that anyone who mentions politics will be poisoned and fed to the hogs.

Posted by: Meremortal, no prosecutions, no peace! at November 22, 2017 03:41 PM (3myMJ)

19 GQ has an article about being an asshole at Thanksgiving.
Sounds about right for these immature, ungrateful pajama boys and girls.

Posted by: ALH at November 22, 2017 03:41 PM (myWJh)

20 I swear I'm going to read the whole thing, ace, but right now I have to make the sweet potatoes. What do these people think I am? Some kind of machine??

By these people, I mean my family, who are either to the political right of me, maybe a little centrist, or don't utterly give two hoots about politics and would just like to watch Tom and Jerry.

So - no Thanksgiving arguments here. I am grateful for that.

Posted by: grammie winger - thankful at November 22, 2017 03:41 PM (lwiT4)

21 >>> I'm not thankful this year and I'm not going to pretend to be. I'm defiant. If the Pilgrims had come all this way to find on our shores America's current domestic politics, they would have vomited all the food at the first Thanksgiving dinner.

Hmmm, I thought that the Pilgrims came here because the European elites kept dictating to them how to live their lives, and they got fed up. Seems like we are keeping the tradition of proper defiance alive and well just fine!

We MAGA together to ask the Lord's blessing...

Posted by: LizLem at November 22, 2017 03:42 PM (hvf9s)

22 It really is best not to talk politics with family, Chucky Schumer shows up with a chart on Thanksgiving shove it up his ass.

Posted by: Skip at November 22, 2017 03:42 PM (aC6Sd)

23 I'm gonna go way out on a limb and suggest Mr. Wittes doesn't know dick about the pilgrims. Weren't a lot of government handout programs happening in the Plymouth settlement.

Posted by: JackStraw at November 22, 2017 03:43 PM (/tuJf)

24 Who the hell is Ben Witless?

Posted by: josephistan at November 22, 2017 03:43 PM (ANIFC)

25 What would the Pilgrim Fathers say when they started meeting SJWs?

Posted by: Northernlurker, the lurkingest lurker of the north. Still proudly lurking. at November 22, 2017 03:43 PM (nBr1j)

26 WKRP in Cincinnati - Turkey Drop on YouTube.

Posted by: rickb223 at November 22, 2017 03:43 PM (f/e+k)

27 Leave the chart bring a pie.

Posted by: Vinnie at November 22, 2017 03:44 PM (VDQek)

28 Oh for the days before Twitter when the only people these assholes bothered were their own families and/or their fellow inmates/patients.

Posted by: tu3031 at November 22, 2017 03:44 PM (O5Q3r)

29 That's a lot of words.

Posted by: Insomniac - Nobody in Particular at November 22, 2017 03:44 PM (NWiLs)

30 To Leftists everything is politics, I hate them for bringing it into football

Posted by: Skip at November 22, 2017 03:44 PM (aC6Sd)

31 We have a name for progressives in my family on Thanksgiving. Alone.

Posted by: Marcus T, Whitey at November 22, 2017 03:44 PM (2P0Ao)

32 The Neutral or Nonsensical Statement Disguised as Agreement.Progressives
do not process language the same way human beings do; they chiefly
adduce meaning from tone and body language, like dogs.
=====

Still laughing.

Posted by: mustbequantum at November 22, 2017 03:44 PM (MIKMs)

33 >>If the Pilgrims had come all this way to find on our shores America's
current domestic politics, they would have vomited all the food at the
first Thanksgiving dinner.

It's true, my colonial relative Hannah Dustin would be aghast at our treatment of illegal aliens and gun laws. But then, she didn't need a gun to kill and scalp the Abanaki indians who kidnapped her and murdered her newborn baby....

Posted by: Lizzy at November 22, 2017 03:44 PM (W+vEI)

34 23 I'm gonna go way out on a limb and suggest Mr. Wittes doesn't know dick about the pilgrims. Weren't a lot of government handout programs happening in the Plymouth settlement.
Posted by: JackStraw at November 22, 2017 03:43 PM (/tuJf)

Actually... isn't the story that they tried to do everything as a community... basic collectivism... and they almost starved?

Then went individualist, and began to prosper.... and THEN had Thanksgiving?

Posted by: Don Q. at November 22, 2017 03:44 PM (NgKpN)

35 25 What would the Pilgrim Fathers say when they started meeting SJWs?

Thy "safe space?" What witchcraftery thou speaketh! And why doth thee wear thy hair in a bun when thou appearest to be a man?

Posted by: WhatWhatWhat? at November 22, 2017 03:44 PM (ul9CR)

36 somebody, quick, gimme a two sentence summary

Posted by: runner at November 22, 2017 03:45 PM (QC/4S)

37 Is this that "Light open thread blogging the next few days" that Ace refers to on the main sidebar?

If so...the next real thread is gonna be a doozy.

Posted by: Village Idiot's Apprentice at November 22, 2017 03:45 PM (EyPfd)

38 Miserable people want everyone to be miserable.

Tell them that and laugh. Then tell them they only get beets for dinner.

Posted by: Meremortal, no prosecutions, no peace! at November 22, 2017 03:45 PM (3myMJ)

39 One thing I never understood - the Pilgrims were fleeing British persecution, they sailed from Holland, so why & how did they found a British colony at Plymouth?

Posted by: josephistan at November 22, 2017 03:46 PM (ANIFC)

40 26
WKRP in Cincinnati - Turkey Drop on YouTube.

Posted by: rickb223 at November 22, 2017 03:43 PM (f/e+k)One of my all-time favorite tv moments of all time. We are so blessed that the whole thing is on Youtube.

Posted by: Peaches at November 22, 2017 03:46 PM (14URa)

41 The mere existence, much less usage, of 'Thanksgivingman' is an imperialist white supremacist capitalist cisheteropatriarchal affront to the LGGBDTTTIQQAAPPE* Community, and all of us here at the Brattleboro Womyn's Health Cooperative are triggered!

* Lesbian, Gay, Genderqueer, Bisexual, Demisexual, Transgender, Transsexual, Twospirit, Intersex, Queer, Questioning, Asexual, Allies, Pansexual, Polyamorous, Ewok

Posted by: Mary Cloggenstein of Brattleboro, VT at November 22, 2017 03:46 PM (ctuyM)

42 Just once, I want a POTUS to bring out a hatchet, a wood stump, and a chickenplucker and show urban America whats what.
Also a handful of farm kids, who would not be traumatized, to chase down the 2nd turkey when he sees whats going down.

Posted by: Downcast at November 22, 2017 03:46 PM (2p/I6)

43 >>somebody, quick, gimme a two sentence summary

Read it - it's funny

Posted by: Lizzy at November 22, 2017 03:46 PM (W+vEI)

44 ' somebody, quick, gimme a two sentence summary'

Asshole's gotta asshole, even at the Thanksgiving table.

Throa-tpunch them when they do.

Posted by: Village Idiot's Apprentice at November 22, 2017 03:46 PM (EyPfd)

45 More than anything liberals crave division and fighting. That's is so you won't see the fallacy of their arguments.

Why engage someone like that? Answer you don't. It's not worth it. You might as well argue with the turkey. You get the same results.

Posted by: Marcus T, Whitey at November 22, 2017 03:47 PM (2P0Ao)

46 Let's all hope Imani "I Smell Sex and" Gandy celebtrates the holiday by getting caught in a gang crossfire and catching a stray round.

Posted by: tu3031 at November 22, 2017 03:47 PM (O5Q3r)

47 Informed the reprobates. My duty is done.
Posted by: Your Decidedly Devious Uncle Palpatine, Booking Agent, Aero Pinochet at November 22, 2017 03:38 PM

You told the Aunts?

Posted by: Duncanthrax at November 22, 2017 03:48 PM (ctuyM)

48 Just once, I want a POTUS to bring out a hatchet, a wood stump, and a chickenplucker and show urban America whats what.

Also a handful of farm kids, who would not be traumatized, to chase down the 2nd turkey when he sees whats going down.

Posted by: Downcast at November 22, 2017 03:46 PM (2p/I6)
Didn't Palin actually do that? And was excoriated? I actually contacted the WH when I got their "vote for the turkey to pardon" and said, isn't that like voting for death to the other one? But, they were very careful on the pressers to say the other turkey would NOT be led to the slaughter. Probably because of my email . . .

Posted by: Peaches at November 22, 2017 03:48 PM (14URa)

49 "Dear White People..."

I shall refrain from composing tweets that begin with, "Dear Black People" because once I got started, hilarity, and likely bannination, would ensue.

Posted by: Cicero (@cicero) at November 22, 2017 03:48 PM (+0jcH)

50 If the Pilgrims had come all this way to find on our shores America's current domestic politics, they would have vomited all the food at the first Thanksgiving dinner. #sorrynotsorry

Since they came her to practice their religion in homogenous theocratic enclaves I'm sure they wouldn't be happy. Just not for the reason he's thinking of.

Posted by: Grump928(C) at November 22, 2017 03:49 PM (60v4h)

51 My family is full of commies and socialists and hard right wingers. When we come together for Thanksgiving it's good food, football, movies, books and your new baby is so wonderful.

And we all go home full and alive.

Posted by: gNewt at November 22, 2017 03:49 PM (bwBxJ)

52 >>> We'll be blaring 'Don't stop believing' out of our squad PA system. Anyone who runs up to us singing the chorus gets PBT'd.

Hilarious!

Just found out that a trailer full of cows tipped over on an overpass near Ogden, shut down I-15. On one of the busiest travel days of the year. Travel is going to SUCK today. Stay safe! RIP tasty meat.

http://kutv.com/news/local/crash-on-i-84-bridge-in-riverdale

Posted by: LizLem at November 22, 2017 03:49 PM (hvf9s)

53 thanks VIA !

Posted by: runner at November 22, 2017 03:49 PM (QC/4S)

54 When someone begins to talk politics, use this famous line:

"I wish to be excused from this narrative."

I refuse to be engaged in a political argument on Thanksgiving. I may have to bite my tongue, but I will not be baited into it. And if tempted, I'll leave the table and put myself in a time out in the kitchen or somewhere.

You can always argue the next day, hungover and eating turkey sammiches, if you require politics.

Posted by: Gumdrop Gorilla is fan of Professor Chaos at November 22, 2017 03:50 PM (St5qb)

55 If you kick a liberal's ass discussing taxes, they'll simply move on to global warming. If you kick their ass on that they'll move on to racism, and so on.

Best to just shut up and kick their ass out of the house.

Posted by: Meremortal, no prosecutions, no peace! at November 22, 2017 03:50 PM (3myMJ)

56 Thanksgrievance Day is really good, btw.

Posted by: Grump928(C) at November 22, 2017 03:50 PM (60v4h)

57 4 OMGeeeeeeee - Planned Parenthood wants you to talk abortion on Thanksgiving?!?
Posted by: Lizzy at November 22, 2017 03:37 PM (W+vEI)

Please, Lord, no "demonstrations" with the stuffing this year....

Posted by: Warai-otoko at November 22, 2017 03:50 PM (hcyUh)

58 Posted by: Grump928(C) at November 22, 2017 03:50 PM (60v4h)

Stealing...

Posted by: Meremortal, no prosecutions, no peace! at November 22, 2017 03:51 PM (3myMJ)

59 Great pre Thanksgiving post, Ace.

Many guffaws.

My favorite: "By the year 2030, global warming predicts that the entire North American landmass will be flooded by seawater and wolves."

Microagressions: "Having no large aggressions available, Patty went looking for aggressions so small she had to magnify them."

Posted by: Seems Legit at November 22, 2017 03:51 PM (U+nHb)

60 "By the year 2030, global warming predicts that the entire North American landmass will be flooded by seawater and wolves."

In local wildlife news the low spot in the backyard that ponds up had a 3 legged coyote sitting in it today.

Posted by: DaveA at November 22, 2017 03:51 PM (FhXTo)

61
I refuse to be engaged in a political argument on Thanksgiving. I
may have to bite my tongue, but I will not be baited into it. And if
tempted, I'll leave the table and put myself in a time out in the
kitchen or somewhere.
=====

Smoking is always a good excuse.

Posted by: mustbequantum at November 22, 2017 03:51 PM (MIKMs)

62 47. Heh....don't think I haven't called them far, far worse.

'A conspiracy of aunts' - it'd make a good novel title.

Posted by: Your Decidedly Devious Uncle Palpatine, Booking Agent, Aero Pinochet at November 22, 2017 03:51 PM (onwtH)

63 Please, Lord, no "demonstrations" with the stuffing this year....

Posted by: Warai-otoko at November 22, 2017 03:50 PM (hcyUh)
You're killin' me, Larry, you are killin' me here!

Posted by: Peaches at November 22, 2017 03:51 PM (14URa)

64 Liberals are like a plague. Everything they touch is destroyed by them.

What people crave is joy and happiness. But you go ahead and keep trying to make people miserable. See how that works out.

Posted by: Marcus T, Whitey at November 22, 2017 03:51 PM (2P0Ao)

65 Please be advised that our Parts Department will be closed on both Thursday, Nov. 23 and Friday, Nov. 24. We will reopen for business on Monday, Nov. 27. We regret any inconvenience.

Posted by: Planned Parenthood: Parts Department at November 22, 2017 03:52 PM (O5Q3r)

66 This will be the first thanksgiving that I can remember that will be sans football. We may just have to perform more drunken feats of hold-my-beerism.

Posted by: Grump928(C) at November 22, 2017 03:52 PM (60v4h)

67
What you need to say is, "Because you can't keep your mouth shut about politics at a time we come together, you can't be with us. And you will never be allowed to come until you can, unlikely a prospect as it is."

Posted by: Hadrian the Seventh at November 22, 2017 03:52 PM (nmcaG)

68 Its sort of surprising to me that they haven't quite figured out yet that this is how we got Trump. This continual, obnoxious, arrogant, and disruptive "get in their faces" hostility is not convincing, winsome, or productive. It makes enemies.

Posted by: Christopher R Taylor at November 22, 2017 03:52 PM (39g3+)

69 You know, Nietzsche says, "There is more wisdom in that second slice of pie and whipped cream than in your deepest philosophy."

Posted by: Fritz at November 22, 2017 03:52 PM (2Mnv1)

70 Uh oh, looks like the PP link is no good - pulled the post because it's so dang tasteless, I imagine....

Posted by: Lizzy at November 22, 2017 03:52 PM (W+vEI)

71 That bear came thisclose to getting me. But now the other 'yotes call me "Limpy."

Posted by: The Three-Legged Coyote at November 22, 2017 03:52 PM (ul9CR)

72 More than anything liberals crave division and fighting. That's is so you won't see the fallacy of their arguments.

Why engage someone like that? Answer you don't. It's not worth it. You might as well argue with the turkey. You get the same results.
Posted by: Marcus T, Whitey at November 22, 2017 03:47 PM (2P0Ao)

If you find yourself in an argument with them on Thanksgiving, you have already lost. And they won.

Nip it in the bud right there!! Barney Fife had some good advice.

Posted by: Gumdrop Gorilla is fan of Professor Chaos at November 22, 2017 03:52 PM (St5qb)

73 Well, they have their marching orders.

You can never go wrong when you're left!
YOU'RE LEFT!
You'll always be wrong when you're right!
YOU'RE RIGHT!
Sound off!
COM-MIE!
Sound off!
BAS-TARDS!
WE ARE COMMIE BASTARDS, THAT'S RIGHT!

Posted by: Headless Body of Agnew at November 22, 2017 03:52 PM (e1mEI)

74 Do they have 'how to stop your male feminist relatives from raping you' advice

Posted by: jihadi at November 22, 2017 03:52 PM (I64i9)

75 see, it's when people talk about advantage of cranberry sauce over cranberry jelly ..and then all of a sudden drop something ugly about Trump. They catch you off guard like that. Gotta be ready for this kind of ambush.

Posted by: runner at November 22, 2017 03:52 PM (QC/4S)

76 >>Actually... isn't the story that they tried to do everything as a community... basic collectivism... and they almost starved?

>>Then went individualist, and began to prosper.... and THEN had Thanksgiving?

Actually, a good many of them died the first year because of disease and the rest of them likely would have starved had some of the local Indians not shown them how to plant corn and fish.

The first Thanksgiving was really more of a traditional European thanks for the bounty of the crops. Some of the local Indians who had helped them were invited and the story was born.

The colony broke down because many of the Pilgrims chaffed at the collectivist rules and lack of the same religious freedom that caused them to leave England in the first place.

Lots of myths about the pilgrims and Thanksgiving including Plymouth Rock which was not the first place the pilgrims came ashore.

Posted by: JackStraw at November 22, 2017 03:53 PM (/tuJf)

77 upChuck and his gang are attempting to sow the seeds of dissension in your homes, he's doing to devil's work, don't buy into it.

Posted by: gNewt at November 22, 2017 03:53 PM (bwBxJ)

78 see, it's when people talk about advantage of cranberry sauce over cranberry jelly ..and then all of a sudden drop something ugly about Trump. They catch you off guard like that. Gotta be ready for this kind of ambush.

That's when you punch them in the junk.

Posted by: rickb223 at November 22, 2017 03:54 PM (f/e+k)

79 Incorporate firearms, esp black powder smoke poles, intonupur Thanksgiving traditions and the amount of SJW whining decreases dramatically. A "turkey shoot" is easy to arrange.

Posted by: Jean at November 22, 2017 03:54 PM (UhyWI)

80 Who was the fake philosopher a Moron made up a couple of years ago?

Testicles ("TEST-uh-cleez")?

That's funny shit.

Posted by: logprof at November 22, 2017 03:54 PM (GsAUU)

81 Do they have 'how to stop your male feminist relatives from raping you' advice

Posted by: jihadi at November 22, 2017 03:52 PM (I64i9)

Of course not, they're doing it for the common good

Posted by: TheQuietMan at November 22, 2017 03:54 PM (SiINZ)

82 The opposite of gratitude is anger.

Posted by: Seems Legit at November 22, 2017 03:55 PM (U+nHb)

83 Actually, a good many of them died the first year because of disease and the rest of them likely would have starved had some of the local Indians not shown them how to plant corn and fish.

I honestly have never tried to plant fish.

Posted by: rickb223 at November 22, 2017 03:55 PM (f/e+k)

84 I appreciate the post Ace, however I have neither the willingness or patience anymore to engage in gamesmanship. Any snide political talk will result in me walking away (with the wine) and refusal to engage. I'll take a nap, walk the doggies, or paint my nails.

Thanks to my Irish/German ancestors, I can give a pretty mean look without saying a word.

Posted by: Cheri at November 22, 2017 03:55 PM (oiNtH)

85 This year, more than anything else, I am thankful that these people have lost their grip on our culture.

Oh, and I am also thankful that Hillary Clinton will NEVER be president.

These thoughts will sustain me as I dine with some lefty relatives tomorrow.

Posted by: RondinellaMamma at November 22, 2017 03:56 PM (oQQwD)

86 51 My family is full of commies and socialists and hard right wingers. When we come together for Thanksgiving it's good food, football, movies, books and your new baby is so wonderful.

And we all go home full and alive.
Posted by: gNewt at November 22, 2017 03:49 PM (bwBxJ)

This is how it used to be! This was the true America. I feel sorry for those who have not experienced it that way. I think technology has a lot to do with it. 24 hours of outrage.

Posted by: Gumdrop Gorilla is fan of Professor Chaos at November 22, 2017 03:56 PM (St5qb)

87 I suggest some flourishes to show how down you are.

"As the Mahatma Ghandi said, Mahatma being an honorifiic of course, his name was Mohandes, anyway the Mahatma said that insight is more profound, deeper, the younger the girl you're putting it in".

Posted by: Bander's phone in the car shop waiting room at November 22, 2017 03:56 PM (3ZDQu)

88 >>I honestly have never tried to plant fish.

You should give it a whirl. They make good hash pipes too, or so I'm told.

Posted by: JackStraw at November 22, 2017 03:56 PM (/tuJf)

89 see, it's when people talk about advantage of cranberry sauce over cranberry jelly ..and then all of a sudden drop something ugly about Trump. They catch you off guard like that. Gotta be ready for this kind of ambush.

That's when you punch them in the junk.
Posted by: rickb223 at November 22, 2017 03:54 PM (f/e+k)

it depends..it may be buffet style gathering and you may be holding a plate of turkey, 'taters, stuffing, corn and what not in one hand and a drink in another. so....practice your kicks I say...

Posted by: runner at November 22, 2017 03:57 PM (QC/4S)

90 Thanks to my Irish/German ancestors, I can give a pretty mean look without saying a word.
Posted by: Cheri

Thanks to them you should whoop some ass.

Posted by: rickb223 at November 22, 2017 03:57 PM (f/e+k)

91 Consider this:

Asshole SJWs have already tried to fuck up the dinner part of Thanksgiving.

Now BLM has fucked up the football part of the holiday.

Posted by: logprof at November 22, 2017 03:57 PM (GsAUU)

92 You are all gonna get banned for posting on an old Thread.

Posted by: garrett at November 22, 2017 03:57 PM (6qwyH)

93 Does anyone actually have relatives that try pushing this idiocy at Thanksgiving or Christmas?

Posted by: buzzion - guess my sign at November 22, 2017 03:58 PM (z/Ubi)

94 But now the other 'yotes call me "Limpy."

He's pretty pathetic but my sympathy is limited by my disappeared outside kitteh from a few years back.

Posted by: DaveA at November 22, 2017 03:58 PM (FhXTo)

95 Weird I was thinking about the gamesmanship post the other day. If I recall Ace got mad at people poking fun at it?

As far as Thanksgiving I'm thankful I won't be eating it with any retards.

Posted by: Dack Thrombosis at November 22, 2017 03:58 PM (4ErVI)

96 Just respond with the truth. Both parties are filled with liars and criminals who only look after their own personal self interest.

This shuts down any and all political talk when Ive used it the past.

Posted by: Monk at November 22, 2017 03:58 PM (g4lFK)

97
The best refresher course on an injust life is the liberal human experience.

I just made that one up to use. Unfortunately, no libs will be at our Thanksgiving that I know of. So steal it.

Posted by: Guy Mohawk at November 22, 2017 03:58 PM (r+sAi)

98 Talk about the tranny dragon you just purchased as a pet. A pet tranny dragon really has a way of throwing a monkey wrench into a progressive talking point lecture.

"I named him Wilbur!"

Posted by: Max Power at November 22, 2017 03:59 PM (q177U)

99
The Girl Scouts are warning their members not to hug relatives on the Holiday. So they must be advocating for dope.

Posted by: Drugs Not Hugs at November 22, 2017 03:59 PM (/zwDg)

100 If Leftists are so sure of global warming see if they own any beach property they want to unload

Posted by: Skip at November 22, 2017 03:59 PM (aC6Sd)

101 Thanks to my Irish/German ancestors, I can give a pretty mean look without saying a word.
Posted by: Cheri

Thanks to them you should whoop some ass.

Posted by: rickb223 at November 22, 2017 03:57 PM (f/e+k)

And drink a lot of beer

Posted by: TheQuietMan at November 22, 2017 03:59 PM (SiINZ)

102 Actually, a good many of them died the first year because of disease and
the rest of them likely would have starved had some of the local
Indians not shown them how to plant corn and fish.
---
I've always been curious how that worked.

I mean, they did plant things and know how to fish in Europe, right?

Posted by: Methos at November 22, 2017 03:59 PM (XQvuQ)

103 Where does the line form to shove that document up Chuck Schumer's ass?

Posted by: Northernlurker, the lurkingest lurker of the north. Still proudly lurking. at November 22, 2017 04:00 PM (nBr1j)

104 Howard Johnson: Y'know, Nietzsche says: "Out of chaos comes order."

Posted by: Ignoramus at November 22, 2017 04:00 PM (cAXIk)

105 Top 100?

Posted by: NALNAMSAM - Not as lean, not as mean, still a Marine at November 22, 2017 04:00 PM (lRKXz)

106 03 Where does the line form to shove that document up Chuck Schumer's ass?
Posted by: Northernlurker, the lurkingest lurker of the north. Still proudly lurking. at November 22, 2017 04:00 PM (nBr1j)

------

Right over here, I'm first.

Posted by: Seems Legit at November 22, 2017 04:00 PM (U+nHb)

107 Now that I've read most of the comments I see that the pilgrims were low hanging fruit for the Horde.

Posted by: Grump928(C) at November 22, 2017 04:00 PM (60v4h)

108
fish as fertilizer would be quite expensive today.

Posted by: Guy Mohawk at November 22, 2017 04:01 PM (r+sAi)

109 The only answer needed for any progtard relative you may encounter is "Hillary will never be President".

Repeat until they turn violent then stomp a mudhole in their ass.

Posted by: Hairyback Guy at November 22, 2017 04:01 PM (255Pj)

110
If it's your kids pulling this, say, "Yes, we desperately need change in this country. I think I'll start with my will."

Posted by: Hadrian the Seventh at November 22, 2017 04:01 PM (nmcaG)

111 One thing I never understood - the Pilgrims were fleeing British persecution, they sailed from Holland, so why & how did they found a British colony at Plymouth?
Posted by: josephistan

They had a charter from an English baron or something like that

Posted by: Jean at November 22, 2017 04:01 PM (UhyWI)

112 10 alexthechick - Ragebunny. Hopping all around.

That was so funny! Thanks.

You are the fluffiest bunniest, and have a great Thanksgiving.

Posted by: NaCly Dog at November 22, 2017 04:02 PM (hyuyC)

113 Actually, a good many of them died the first year because of disease and
the rest of them likely would have starved had some of the local
Indians not shown them how to plant corn and fish.
---
I've always been curious how that worked.

I mean, they did plant things and know how to fish in Europe, right?

The planting of fish was a New World practice.

Posted by: Grump928(C) at November 22, 2017 04:02 PM (60v4h)

114 I mean, they did plant things and know how to fish in Europe, right?
Posted by: Methos at November 22, 2017 03:59 PM (XQvuQ)

Nope. White Europeans were all cannibals back then before they met the Native Americans.

It's Science, bruh. Look it up.

Posted by: Warai-otoko at November 22, 2017 04:02 PM (hcyUh)

115 Wittes childish tweet is beyond pathetic. I would guess that he doesn't know what being thankful is beyond his own butt hurt and delusions of grandeur.

Many if not most of us in the horde have had many difficulties and loss this year. Despite all, we hold on to what we have and cherish those that we've lost. We are thankful for life even with all of the difficult paths we have to take.

Posted by: Cheri at November 22, 2017 04:02 PM (oiNtH)

116 Just bring up the Rapocratic Party and they'll pipe down pretty quickly. They might try the Moore Gambit, but just pointing out all the rapers and gropers who are all in with the Dems will shut it down quickly.

Posted by: Dack Thrombosis at November 22, 2017 04:02 PM (4ErVI)

117 Now BLM has fucked up the football part of the holiday.
Posted by: logprof at November 22, 2017 03:57 PM (GsAUU)

Yep

Posted by: MAC SOG at November 22, 2017 04:02 PM (czkHE)

118 Thankfully its just the 3 of us..I can't imagine having to deal with idiotic lefty comments at TG. It irritates me enough to have to deal with it at work...

Posted by: IC at November 22, 2017 04:02 PM (a0IVu)

119 >>> Lots of myths about the pilgrims and Thanksgiving including Plymouth Rock which was not the first place the pilgrims came ashore.
Posted by: JackStraw at November 22, 2017 03:53 PM (/tuJf)

A good candidate for the First Thanksgiving is in VA, not MA. Amazing what a little PR can do!

https://preview.tinyurl.com/y8vwqd4l

Posted by: LizLem at November 22, 2017 04:03 PM (hvf9s)

120
How's about I just ignore all y'all who want to turn this into Grievancegiving? My White Privilege is perfectly fine with that. Buh-bye!

Posted by: Krebs v Carnot: Epic Battle of the Cycling Stars (TM) at November 22, 2017 04:03 PM (nAzq8)

121 My people taught the Pilgrims to plant fish to make their corn grow heap big. But we call it maize.

Posted by: Fauxcahontas at November 22, 2017 04:03 PM (ul9CR)

122 Chuck Schumer proves once again that, yes, he CAN be an even bigger asshole that you think he is.

Posted by: tu3031 at November 22, 2017 04:03 PM (O5Q3r)

123 My, how you've grown, Jenny!

Posted by: Uncle Joe Biden at November 22, 2017 04:04 PM (GsAUU)

124 Thanks to them you should whoop some ass.
Posted by: rickb223 at November 22, 2017 03:57 PM (f/e+k)

And drink a lot of beer
Posted by: TheQuietMan

Ahem, well now that you mention it .....

Posted by: Cheri at November 22, 2017 04:04 PM (oiNtH)

125 Talk about the tranny dragon you just purchased as a pet. A pet tranny dragon really has a way of throwing a monkey wrench into a progressive talking point lecture.

"I named him Wilbur!"
Posted by: Max Power at November 22, 2017 03:59 PM (q177U)

I have not been talking about transgender dragon a lot lately. It's mad b/c I refuse to adopt vampire penquin.

However, I do believe I posted about doing this very thing when my brother started in on the sensitivity training in his company and all the SJW stuff & nothing would deter him.

Telling him I had a transgender dragon as a pet...he didn't know what to do with that. The subject changed.

Posted by: Gumdrop Gorilla is fan of Professor Chaos at November 22, 2017 04:04 PM (St5qb)

126 >>>Weird I was thinking about the gamesmanship post the other day. If I recall Ace got mad at people poking fun at it?

I didn't get mad, it's just that people kept saying stuff Like "If someone did this to me I'd punch him in the mouth." I kept explaining that the Lifesmanship/Gamesmanship books were *jokes*. They're comedy books. They're written in this Fake Advice For Young Gentlemen style, which was popular at the time, but filled with all sorts of terrible advice about cheating and sabotage.

I was just frustrated that people were taking it literally.

Posted by: ace at November 22, 2017 04:04 PM (8rNrN)

127 The planting of fish was a New World practice.

Posted by: Grump928(C) at November 22, 2017 04:02 PM (60v4h)

Liz Warren: We teachum pale faces how to do that

Posted by: TheQuietMan at November 22, 2017 04:04 PM (SiINZ)

128 Remember when Obama was president and liberals were so happy all the time?

Anybody?

*taps mic*

Is this on?

Posted by: Meremortal, no prosecutions, no peace! at November 22, 2017 04:04 PM (3myMJ)

129 I bet the Pilgrims would have given anything for just one AR-15.

Posted by: Mahatma Gandhi at November 22, 2017 04:04 PM (398bZ)

130 >>If it's your kids pulling this, say, "Yes, we desperately need change in this country. I think I'll start with my will."

Zing! I like it!!

Posted by: Lizzy at November 22, 2017 04:05 PM (W+vEI)

131 I plan on my annual tradition: talk about my work when people annoy me.

"Yeah, Trump is really something, isn't he. You know, that reminds me: I saw the most incredible case last week. So this pathologist sends us a case in referral: it was a post mortem on a stillbirth. Anyhow, the obstetrician is blaming the cord wrapped around the baby's neck, but you know, they ALWAYS blame the cord, but when you felt the scalp (etc. etc. etc.)....."

Shuts down political talk pretty well.

Posted by: Alcoholic Asshole Shut In at November 22, 2017 04:05 PM (CPk08)

132 >>I've always been curious how that worked.

>>I mean, they did plant things and know how to fish in Europe, right?

I guess there weren't a lot of fishermen or farmers in the group. Lots of preachers and merchants.

Posted by: JackStraw at November 22, 2017 04:05 PM (/tuJf)

133 You'rewelcomesgiving is a better holiday anyway.

Posted by: Warai-otoko at November 22, 2017 04:05 PM (hcyUh)

134 117 Now BLM has fucked up the football part of the holiday.
Posted by: logprof at November 22, 2017 03:57 PM (GsAUU)

Yep
Posted by: MAC SOG at November 22, 2017 04:02 PM (czkHE)

--At least it's Rivalry Weekend in college.

Posted by: logprof at November 22, 2017 04:05 PM (GsAUU)

135 Many if not most of us in the horde have had many difficulties and loss this year.

Despite all, we hold on to what we have and cherish those that we've lost.

We are thankful for life even with all of the difficult paths we have to take.

Posted by: Cheri

Amen.

Posted by: rickb223 at November 22, 2017 04:05 PM (f/e+k)

136 though i did try a kind of dick move in real life after reading lifesmanship.

I asked someone a specific question about himself, and when he began answering about himself (as I'd asked), I cut him off after five words to say "Oh, we're back on YOU again, huh?"

But I was drunk, and I was doing it for the Lulz. Also, I immediately apologized and explained it was just a goof I got from a book.

altho the books never suggested that level of aggression. it's a british book so it was more passive aggression.

Posted by: ace at November 22, 2017 04:06 PM (8rNrN)

137 Geez Louise--I look at all this junk starting with Chuck You Schumer at the top and realize there are a lot of silly gobblers out there.

Posted by: Comanche Voter at November 22, 2017 04:06 PM (Sda6L)

138 A few years ago, some gun grabber group provided a colorful "fact" chart that you were supposed to print up and, no shit, use as your Thanksgiving placemats. Charming.

We do our Thanksgiving out in the country and usually do some shooting, so I brought some of those placemats for targets and posted a pic of a perforated one with my Sig on twitter. Of course I've only ever had about 6 followers, so I was just doing it for my own jollies.

Posted by: stace at November 22, 2017 04:06 PM (6HFDU)

139 If Leftists are so sure of global warming see if they own any beach property they want to unload
Posted by: Skip at November

I could be convinced the whole global warming bullshit was paid for by as canal of beachfront real estate investors led by Soros.

Posted by: Jean at November 22, 2017 04:06 PM (UhyWI)

140 99
The Girl Scouts are warning their members not to hug relatives on the Holiday. So they must be advocating for dope.
Posted by: Drugs Not Hugs at November 22, 2017 03:59 PM (/zwDg)

How about a kiss for your cousin Dupree?

Posted by: Steely Dan at November 22, 2017 04:06 PM (ANIFC)

141 The Pilgrims would probably have been massacred, or at least repulsed, had not small pox killed most of the inhabitants of their the area where they made their colony.

Posted by: Grump928(C) at November 22, 2017 04:06 PM (60v4h)

142 I guess there weren't a lot of fishermen or farmers in the group. Lots of preachers and merchants.

----------

Also belt buckle makers.

Posted by: Cicero (@cicero) at November 22, 2017 04:07 PM (+0jcH)

143
It was Golda Meir who said, 'We can forgive the Arabs for killing our children. We cannot forgive them for forcing us to kill their children.'

I'm not sure I can agree with the entire premise as I could never forgive anyone for killing my children, but I respect the point she was making.

In that same framework: I can forgive the left for being idiots, but I cannot forgive them for forcing their idiocy on family events. To openly call for the injection of politics to drive a wedge between families?

To hell with them. The sooner the better.

Posted by: Ace Tractor Seat Supply at November 22, 2017 04:07 PM (ajiE5)

144 "Oh, we're back on YOU again, huh?"

-------

Well, I think it's funny.

Posted by: Seems Legit at November 22, 2017 04:07 PM (U+nHb)

145 A cabal

Posted by: Jean at November 22, 2017 04:07 PM (UhyWI)

146 We're serving rooster for Thanksgiving ... just so we can call this "Cocksmanship".

Posted by: ThePrimordialOrderedPair at November 22, 2017 04:07 PM (8gDQu)

147 After Thanksgiving, Christmas wrap some empty boxes and put them under the tree. Every time one of the kids screws up, throw a box into the burning fireplace.

Loads of laughs.

Posted by: Meremortal, no prosecutions, no peace! at November 22, 2017 04:07 PM (3myMJ)

148 136 though i did try a kind of dick move in real life after reading lifesmanship.

I asked someone a specific question about himself, and when he began answering about himself (as I'd asked), I cut him off after five words to say "Oh, we're back on YOU again, huh?"

But I was drunk, and I was doing it for the Lulz. Also, I immediately apologized and explained it was just a goof I got from a book.

altho the books never suggested that level of aggression. it's a british book so it was more passive aggression.

Posted by: ace at November 22, 2017 04:06 PM (8rNrN)

Sure, you're always talking about the stuff you do.

Posted by: buzzion - guess my sign at November 22, 2017 04:07 PM (z/Ubi)

149 I must live in a really sheltered reality with my family (extended included) for Thanksgiving. No one ever pulls that with us and if they did have the temerity to pull a "crap on your host's rug" commentary, they would be instantly 86'd with a comment to the effect you can have gratitude or a grievance, and if you continue engaging the latter you can take it with you out the door.

Posted by: SkinnerVic at November 22, 2017 04:07 PM (nbwH3)

150 I could be convinced the whole global warming bullshit was paid for by as canal of beachfront real estate investors led by Soros.
Posted by: Jean at November 22, 2017 04:06 PM (UhyWI)

It isn't generally polite to refer to people as ass canals, but in the case of Soros, I think we can forgive you.

Posted by: Alcoholic Asshole Shut In at November 22, 2017 04:07 PM (CPk08)

151 As Thomas Jefferson once said, "Man, some people are really fucking nuts!"

Posted by: Stuff Thomas Jefferson Maybe Said at November 22, 2017 04:07 PM (O5Q3r)

152 Heap Big Pro Gardening Tip : If you are growing corn, the fish goes in head first.

Posted by: garrett at November 22, 2017 04:08 PM (6qwyH)

153
The good thing I would imagine as more liberals don't celebrate due to the #racism, is that the conservatives can celebrate in peace.

Posted by: Guy Mohawk at November 22, 2017 04:08 PM (r+sAi)

154 >>The planting of fish was a New World practice.

In a way, it kind of was. These heretics used lobster, which they considered a garbage fish, as fertilizer for their crops.

Had they been a wiser group we would celebrating Thanksgiving the way it was intended with stuffed Lobster.

Posted by: JackStraw at November 22, 2017 04:08 PM (/tuJf)

155 thank you so much for reprinting this--I really needed the laugh!

It will make me snork into my beer at the most inopportune moments during the holiday, which I will enjoy immensely.

One of the things I am thankful for is this place, and all here.

Happy Thanksgiving, everyone!

Posted by: barbarausa at November 22, 2017 04:08 PM (ru28e)

156 How to Talk to Your Family About Planned Parenthood This #Thanksgiving https://t.co/SPmJHlGxiW pic.twitter.com/qQNryn15Mv
-- Planned Parenthood (@ppmn) November 23, 2016

========

"You know, this turkey is just a clump of cells ... kind of like a fetus".

Posted by: Steve and Cold Bear at November 22, 2017 04:08 PM (/qEW2)

157 Did someone say gobbler?

Posted by: Kevin Spacey at November 22, 2017 04:08 PM (GsAUU)

158 141 The Pilgrims would probably have been massacred, or at least repulsed, had not small pox killed most of the inhabitants of their the area where they made their colony.

----------

The French trappers did the spadework for the European invasion, handing out smallpox blankets to anyone who wanted one.

Posted by: Cicero (@cicero) at November 22, 2017 04:08 PM (+0jcH)

159 How many lifesmanship points do you earn if you pull it off on a 7 year old ace?

Posted by: buzzion - guess my sign at November 22, 2017 04:08 PM (z/Ubi)

160 I asked someone a specific question about himself,
and when he began answering about himself (as I'd asked), I cut him off
after five words to say "Oh, we're back on YOU again, huh?"

Posted by: ace at November 22, 2017 04:06 PM (8rNrN)
I am SO stealing that move.

Posted by: Peaches at November 22, 2017 04:08 PM (14URa)

161 >>>Well, I think it's funny.

it's an asshole move though and one i wouldn't endorse.

but I was drunk and couldn't think of a subtle sort of Lifemanship sabotage so just got aggressive and obvious.

Posted by: ace at November 22, 2017 04:09 PM (8rNrN)

162 I kept explaining that the Lifesmanship/Gamesmanship books were *jokes*. They're comedy books. They're written in this Fake Advice For Young Gentlemen style, which was popular at the time, but filled with all sorts of terrible advice about cheating and sabotage.

Ahhhh. Similar to "add antifreeze to the oil in your car so it doesn't freeze this winter!"
And "Boiling water will thaw your frozen, iced over windshield real quick!"

Posted by: rickb223 at November 22, 2017 04:09 PM (f/e+k)

163 She took the midnight train
Goin anywheeeeerrrrrrrre

Posted by: Banana Splits Guy - Nostrildamus (No Smoothies) at November 22, 2017 04:09 PM (4RH1F)

164 >>How many lifesmanship points do you earn if you pull it off on a 7 year old ace?

20-25 Years.

Posted by: garrett at November 22, 2017 04:11 PM (6qwyH)

165 There is a learning curve, I'm counting on you to master it this year, Ace.

"You know, based on current statistics, in ten years, the entire state of California will be homeless."

And your friend who pulled that off? Bravo. I would have been laughing the rest of the night. He's a keeper.

Posted by: Seems Legit at November 22, 2017 04:11 PM (U+nHb)

166 i had thought this thanksgiving if Broought up..planned parenthood supporters should be told They charge the woman for the abortion and than sell off the baby parts for very important such as lamborghini's and the buyers of these baby parts are Likely using them in their mascara and foundation.

Posted by: willow at November 22, 2017 04:11 PM (UbFuA)

167 I am SO old that I was taught table manners that included the rule politics and religion were never to be discussed during a meal. The idea was to have pleasant conversation with pleasant companions. Good times.
Happy Thanksgiving one and all.

Posted by: itsacookbook at November 22, 2017 04:12 PM (yPxXc)

168 I'm grateful that I enjoyed an early Thanksgiving with Mom and am now free to spend tomorrow in blissful solitude.

Posted by: All Hail Eris, She-Wolf of the 'Ettes 'Ettes at November 22, 2017 04:12 PM (qJtVm)

169 164 >>How many lifesmanship points do you earn if you pull it off on a 7 year old ace?

20-25 Years.
Posted by: garrett at November 22, 2017 04:11 PM (6qwyH)

I said "pull it off." Not "pull it out"

Posted by: buzzion - guess my sign at November 22, 2017 04:13 PM (z/Ubi)

170 I am SO old that I was taught table manners that included the rule politics and religion were never to be discussed during a meal. The idea was to have pleasant conversation with pleasant companions. Good times.

Then why do they let some assholes sit at the adult table?

Posted by: rickb223 at November 22, 2017 04:13 PM (f/e+k)

171 Hegel? According to Marx, Hegel had his head up his ass.

Posted by: Cicero (@cicero) at November 22, 2017 04:13 PM (+0jcH)

172 Eris, nice!

Posted by: willow at November 22, 2017 04:13 PM (UbFuA)

173 I've always been curious how that worked.

I mean, they did plant things and know how to fish in Europe, right?

Well it was a combination of several things.
1) Many of them were not farmers, they were merchants, clerks, etc. So farming wasn't exactly well known to them
2) Moving to a new area you will not necessarily know what will grow or what the growing season is, etc.
3) they brought seeds and so forth, but a lot spoiled on the way, and they didn't know what was edible and what was not in the new world.

Posted by: Christopher R Taylor at November 22, 2017 04:13 PM (39g3+)

174 An Ace instaclassic. Thankfulness to Ace, the cobs, and the horde.

Posted by: flounder, rebel, vulgarian, deplorable, winner at November 22, 2017 04:14 PM (tbOMB)

175 What's the worst thing a host can hear during a Thanksgiving gathering?

Posted by: Under Fire at November 22, 2017 04:14 PM (r9UYA)

176 Liberals are Grinches who want to spoil Thanksgiving.

Posted by: Steve and Cold Bear at November 22, 2017 04:14 PM (/qEW2)

177 171 Hegel? According to Marx, Hegel had his head up his ass.
Posted by: Cicero (@cicero) at November 22, 2017 04:13 PM (+0jcH)

Must have been too dark to read up there.

Posted by: Warai-otoko at November 22, 2017 04:14 PM (hcyUh)

178 175 What's the worst thing a host can hear during a Thanksgiving gathering?

--------

Automatic gunfire?

Posted by: Cicero (@cicero) at November 22, 2017 04:14 PM (+0jcH)

179
If it's your kids pulling this, say, "Yes, we desperately need change in this country. I think I'll start with my will."

Posted by: Hadrian the Seventh at November 22, 2017 04:01 PM (nmcaG)

I'm ahead of you. Already done. Son married poorly to leftist shill. Within weeks daughter was in the drivers seat, so to speak. The leftist shill will get zero. Daughter can decide to be generous... or not. Considering daughter is conservative, I'll trust her judgment.

I fight back.

Posted by: Ace Tractor Seat Supply at November 22, 2017 04:15 PM (ajiE5)

180 It looks just like the Pope's Nose.

Now. I need you to touch it.

Posted by: John Conyers (D) at November 22, 2017 04:15 PM (6qwyH)

181 171 Hegel? According to Marx, Hegel had his head up his ass.
Posted by: Cicero (@cicero) at November 22, 2017 04:13 PM (+0jcH)

Well, David Hume could out-consume Wilhelm Freidrich Hegel.

Posted by: Alcoholic Asshole Shut In at November 22, 2017 04:15 PM (CPk08)

182 >>Automatic gunfire?

Well yes, that would be bad.

"Do you own a plunger?"

Posted by: Under Fire at November 22, 2017 04:15 PM (r9UYA)

183 Chicago Jesus is not President this Thanksgiving .

Nor is his lying,consumptive SOS President .

Can't say that Trump is a man of God but he is man From God.

Posted by: Redgrains at November 22, 2017 04:16 PM (55AeY)

184 I have never had the pleasure to have had a contentious Thanksgiving dinner. Sounds like fun though.

Posted by: Alabaster Jones at November 22, 2017 04:17 PM (2DOZq)

185 "Do you own a plunger?"
Posted by: Under Fire at November 22, 2017 04:15 PM (r9UYA)

"This is my new boyfriend, Barack!"

Posted by: Warai-otoko at November 22, 2017 04:17 PM (hcyUh)

186 140
99

The Girl Scouts are warning their members not to hug relatives on the Holiday. So they must be advocating for dope.

Posted by: Drugs Not Hugs at November 22, 2017 03:59 PM (/zwDg)

How about a kiss for your cousin Dupree?

Posted by: Steely Dan at November 22, 2017 04:06 PM (ANIFC)

But certainly pull up a chair and listen to your aunt (I mean uncle) Kaz tell you of his FTM transition and how all you cis-genders are evil, repressive, homophobic haters.

Posted by: Our Country is Screwed at November 22, 2017 04:17 PM (jxbfJ)

187 I wonder if the reason they want to spoil Thanksgiving is that they think that if religious conservatives are thankful to God, it means that they think God is somehow merciful or favorably disposed towards them. But liberals want them to be in a state of continual guilt ("irredeemable deplorable") so that they will be willing to go along with the liberal's plan for penance.

Posted by: Steve and Cold Bear at November 22, 2017 04:17 PM (/qEW2)

188 175 What's the worst thing a host can hear during a Thanksgiving gathering?

"What do you mean, it's not vegan?"

Posted by: Peaches at November 22, 2017 04:17 PM (14URa)

189 172 Eris, nice!
Posted by: willow at November 22, 2017 04:13 PM (UbFuA)
---
My only contentious debate is with myself -- Manhattans or Gin and Tonics?

Posted by: All Hail Eris, She-Wolf of the 'Ettes 'Ettes at November 22, 2017 04:17 PM (qJtVm)

190
Thy "safe space?" What witchcraftery thou speaketh! And why doth thee wear thy hair in a bun when thou appearest to be a man?

Posted by: WhatWhatWhat? at November 22, 2017 03:44 PM (ul9CR)

Heh.

Went out with my cow-orkers for lunch today to McAllisters for sammiches. Observed normal folks getting lunch.

Except for the fat 20-something guy with the scraggly beard, man-bun, skinny jeans and t-shirt.....and most damningly, a great big puffy knit scarf. It was about 55 degrees out, brisk but not arctic-oh-my-sweet-lord-my-dick-just-froze-and-fell-off cold.

Shit. This is rural Texas. We're not supposed to have people like this here. It took every ounce of discipline not to give him a wedgie and steal his lunch money, just for being a fashion douche.

Posted by: IllTemperedCur at November 22, 2017 04:17 PM (veoSD)

191 What's the worst thing a host can hear during a Thanksgiving gathering?

Posted by: Under Fire at November 22, 2017 04:14 PM (r9UYA)

Cover the ficus!

Posted by: Harvey's Mom at November 22, 2017 04:17 PM (VDQek)

192 188
175 What's the worst thing a host can hear during a Thanksgiving gathering?

"What do you mean, it's not vegan?"

Posted by: Peaches at November 22, 2017 04:17 PM (14URa)

Harvey Weinstein stuffed the turkey?

Posted by: Our Country is Screwed at November 22, 2017 04:18 PM (jxbfJ)

193 I just don't understand how leftists can go through life so miserable and so angry at things they have no control over that they just don't kill themselves.

I know I would.

Posted by: Bea Arthur's Dick at November 22, 2017 04:18 PM (jWe5r)

194 What's the worst thing a host can hear during a Thanksgiving gathering?
Posted by: Under Fire

Mom, you forgot to turn the oven on!

Posted by: Cheri at November 22, 2017 04:19 PM (oiNtH)

195 My only contentious debate is with myself -- Manhattans or Gin and Tonics?
Posted by: All Hail Eris, She-Wolf of the 'Ettes 'Ettes at November 22, 2017 04:17 PM (qJtVm)

Ummmmmmm......Manhattans.

Posted by: Hairyback Guy at November 22, 2017 04:19 PM (255Pj)

196 What's the worst thing a host can hear during a Thanksgiving gathering?

The Mississippi leg hound is licking the turkey!

Posted by: rickb223 at November 22, 2017 04:19 PM (f/e+k)

197 All liquor stores are now closed!

Posted by: Cheri at November 22, 2017 04:19 PM (oiNtH)

198 Shit. This is rural Texas. We're not supposed to have people like this here. It took every ounce of discipline not to give him a wedgie and steal his lunch money, just for being a fashion douche.
Posted by: IllTemperedCur at November 22, 2017 04:17 PM (veoSD)

I thought doing so was actually mandatory in most Texas counties...

pour encourager, et cetera

Posted by: Warai-otoko at November 22, 2017 04:20 PM (hcyUh)

199 So will progressives be pleased or disappointed that fewer people will be watching football this Thanksgiving Day?

Posted by: Guam tipper at November 22, 2017 04:20 PM (/DvFd)

200 My only contentious debate is with myself -- Manhattans or Gin and Tonics?

Posted by: All Hail Eris, She-Wolf of the 'Ettes 'Ettes at November 22, 2017 04:17 PM (qJtVm)
Manhattans.

Posted by: IC at November 22, 2017 04:20 PM (a0IVu)

201 Some aged Texas Republican congressman posted a photo of is withered, old junk on social media by accident recently. Then removed it with an apology. Nasty and I can't work out why any man his age thinks anyone wants to see him nude but... not exactly gropaquiddick level.

Now some guy in Pixar has been suspended from his job because he was too huggy?

Its sexual harassment to hug now???

Posted by: Christopher R Taylor at November 22, 2017 04:20 PM (39g3+)

202 Well, David Hume could out-consume Wilhelm Freidrich Hegel.
Posted by: Alcoholic Asshole Shut In at November 22, 2017 04:15 PM (CPk0

----
And Wittgenstein was a beery swine
who was just as sloshed as Schlegel!

Posted by: All Hail Eris, She-Wolf of the 'Ettes 'Ettes at November 22, 2017 04:21 PM (qJtVm)

203 Eris i personally favor manhattans over anything gin. but i personally favor sex on the beach, but that limits one to two drinks or hanging out with the porcelain queen.

Posted by: willow at November 22, 2017 04:21 PM (UbFuA)

204 Okay, still laughing. Son told me I have his puppy this weekend. Makes no nevermind to me, but it is funny. After all, I have 2 or 3 grandkids all the time, so the 4th can go to the other grandparents. Consolation prize is bordercollie/lab puppy. Still can't imagine that people (including my son) would pay for an endlessly busy sweet pain in the neck.

Posted by: mustbequantum at November 22, 2017 04:21 PM (MIKMs)

205 I plan to start my Thanksgiving morning with mimosas and slowly work my way to eliminating the OJ...

Posted by: IC at November 22, 2017 04:21 PM (a0IVu)

206 Posted by: All Hail Eris, She-Wolf of the 'Ettes 'Ettes at November 22, 2017 04:21 PM (qJtVm)

That goes past "golf clap" territory into full-blown applause.

Posted by: Warai-otoko at November 22, 2017 04:22 PM (hcyUh)

207 "The lefties are still mad, but not psychotic"

That's news to me.

Posted by: Rand Paul at November 22, 2017 04:22 PM (jWe5r)

208
What's the worst thing a host can hear during a Thanksgiving gathering?

==

"you MIL is here !"

Posted by: runner at November 22, 2017 04:22 PM (QC/4S)

209 Hey Joy Ried .. F**k you too

Posted by: It's me donna at November 22, 2017 04:22 PM (O2RFr)

210 The thing that will get Leftist's to explode with anger is to tell them that you will pray for them.

Posted by: Alabaster Jones at November 22, 2017 04:22 PM (2DOZq)

211 Posted by: All Hail Eris, She-Wolf of the 'Ettes 'Ettes at November 22, 2017 04:21 PM (qJtVm)

A solid grounding in the classics is the greatest gift an education can bestow.

Posted by: Alcoholic Asshole Shut In at November 22, 2017 04:22 PM (CPk08)

212 Had they been a wiser group we would celebrating Thanksgiving the way it was intended with stuffed Lobster.

Missed it by one summer stumble with melted butter.

Posted by: DaveA at November 22, 2017 04:22 PM (FhXTo)

213 Time to settle in for the Terrence and Phillip Thanksgiving Special:

http://tinyurl.com/y83dn4os

Posted by: logprof at November 22, 2017 04:22 PM (GsAUU)

214 Some aged Texas Republican congressman posted a
photo of is withered, old junk on social media by accident recently.

Posted by: Christopher R Taylor at November 22, 2017 04:20 PM (39g3+)
Show of hands for whoever's "accidentally" posted a pic of their junk on the internet. Because, no, that does NOT happen by accident.

Posted by: Peaches at November 22, 2017 04:22 PM (14URa)

215 Reid not Ried but f**k her anyway

Posted by: It's me donna at November 22, 2017 04:23 PM (O2RFr)

216 The Gin & Tonic.

1. Take the nastiest tasting distilled spirit there is, a throw in the mixer that is undrinkable straight.

2. ???

3. Profit!

Posted by: Cicero (@cicero) at November 22, 2017 04:23 PM (+0jcH)

217 How about If you interrupt my nap because of political bullshit I'll beat you to death with a plastic colander

Posted by: jsg at November 22, 2017 04:23 PM (ecP/9)

218
198 Shit. This is rural Texas. We're not supposed to have people like this here. It took every ounce of discipline not to give him a wedgie and steal his lunch money, just for being a fashion douche.
Posted by: IllTemperedCur at November 22, 2017 04:17 PM (veoSD)

I thought doing so was actually mandatory in most Texas counties...

pour encourager, et cetera

Posted by: Warai-otoko at November 22, 2017 04:20 PM (hcyUh)

We're a polite bunch down here in Ellis County.

Posted by: IllTemperedCur at November 22, 2017 04:23 PM (veoSD)

219 Eris i personally favor manhattans over anything gin. but i personally favor sex on the beach,

Slow Screw Up Against The Wall -

Sloe Gin Fizz + Harvey Wallbanger.

Posted by: rickb223 at November 22, 2017 04:23 PM (f/e+k)

220
fish as fertilizer would be quite expensive today.
Posted by: Guy Mohawk at November 22, 2017 04:01 PM (r+sAi)

Yeah. Organic gardeners use fish emulsion but I guess that's all small scale stuff. Which reminds me of an old article about Rand Paul, which I saw after he was attacked. Awhile back he and his wife had done a interview about how they like to compost, and use fish emulsion on their vegetables. Lefties were making fun of them in the comments, I guess because organic gardening is good, but only if done by people with communist leanings. I'll never get this way of "thinking".

Posted by: stace at November 22, 2017 04:24 PM (6HFDU)

221
Mom, you forgot to turn the oven on!

Poor Grandma. After living in the same house for almost 50 yrs, she moved out here to a new place. She was hell bent on having Thanksgiving at her place. After a few hours we were wondering how come we couldn't smell anything. Her new oven had 2 controls for baking in the oven. She was devastated. Needless to say, dinner was fun, if a little drunk. Including Grandma.

Posted by: Infidel at November 22, 2017 04:24 PM (Ix4M6)

222 Its almost 90 degrees here in So Cal, its a bloody heatwave...not really looking forward to the hot kitchen tomorrow. It sucks.

Posted by: IC at November 22, 2017 04:24 PM (a0IVu)

223
Joy Reid was certainly given the wrong name at birth.

Posted by: Guy Mohawk at November 22, 2017 04:24 PM (r+sAi)

224 201
Some aged Texas Republican congressman posted a photo of is withered,
old junk on social media by accident recently. Then removed it with an
apology. Nasty and I can't work out why any man his age thinks anyone
wants to see him nude but... not exactly gropaquiddick level.

Now some guy in Pixar has been suspended from his job because he was too huggy?

Its sexual harassment to hug now???

Posted by: Christopher R Taylor at November 22, 2017 04:20 PM (39g3+)

You should sit in on some of the harassment training classes I do. Because it is. Even looking can be construed as harassment if it offends someone.

Posted by: Our Country is Screwed at November 22, 2017 04:24 PM (jxbfJ)

225 Its sexual harassment to hug now???
Posted by: Christopher R Taylor at November 22, 2017 04:20 PM (39g3+)

If it's not, you're doing it wrong.

Posted by: flounder, rebel, vulgarian, deplorable, winner at November 22, 2017 04:25 PM (tbOMB)

226 Posted by: JackStraw at November 22, 2017 04:05 PM (/tuJf)

According to Of Plymouth Plantation they were mainly farmers. It sounds like the soil quality was very different from what they were used to though, Bradford described it as "exhausted" which seems odd unless it was very nutrient poor to begin with. They also weren't accustomed to maize as a food crop and kept trying the grains they were used to. Bradford said that after they allowed people to work their own plots, and trade any excess, they never starved again.

Posted by: Polliwog the 'Ette at November 22, 2017 04:25 PM (rp9xB)

227 222 Its almost 90 degrees here in So Cal, its a bloody heatwave...not really looking forward to the hot kitchen tomorrow. It sucks.

Deep fry your turkey... We do it every year and it's great

Posted by: It's me donna at November 22, 2017 04:25 PM (O2RFr)

228 219 Eris i personally favor manhattans over anything gin. but i personally favor sex on the beach,

Slow Screw Up Against The Wall -

Sloe Gin Fizz + Harvey Wallbanger.
Posted by: rickb223 at November 22, 2017 04:23 PM (f/e+k)

Not to be confused with creme de cacao+Everclear +meth thrown over mint-The Harvey Weinstein.

Posted by: Alcoholic Asshole Shut In at November 22, 2017 04:25 PM (CPk08)

229 Do not sneer at the G&T, it is redolent of WASPy summers playing lawn tennis and sailing the Narragansett.

I would imagine.

Manhattans it is!

Posted by: All Hail Eris, She-Wolf of the 'Ettes 'Ettes at November 22, 2017 04:25 PM (qJtVm)

230 Show of hands for whoever's "accidentally" posted a pic of their junk on the internet. Because, no, that does NOT happen by accident.

My guess is that it was posted intentionally, but to the wrong place. Thought it was to snap chat, or mistook the name or something. Nasty though.

Like the people who accidentally click the "share" button on a porn site. They clicked it, but didn't think about what it was going to do. Dude I like this nun-on-nun action, I'll like it! Oops that went to Twitter...

Posted by: Christopher R Taylor at November 22, 2017 04:26 PM (39g3+)

231 Deep fry your turkey... We do it every year and it's great

Posted by: It's me donna at November 22, 2017 04:25 PM (O2RFr)
I've been meaning to try that for a few years now..but first, I need to buy a fryer.

Posted by: IC at November 22, 2017 04:26 PM (a0IVu)

232 She was devastated. Needless to say, dinner was fun, if a little drunk. Including Grandma.

Posted by: Infidel

LOL!

Posted by: Cheri at November 22, 2017 04:26 PM (oiNtH)

233 Best strategy: No proglodytes at the table

Posted by: cn at November 22, 2017 04:26 PM (5gaNQ)

234 So how many families will be discussing sexual harassment this Thanksgiving? How many wives will be questioning their husbands about affairs with other women at the office? How many men will be questioning their wives about what sexual favors the wife had to perform to get her promotion?

It's going to make America Grate Again.

Posted by: Skandia Recluse at November 22, 2017 04:26 PM (4XCge)

235
216 The Gin & Tonic.

1. Take the nastiest tasting distilled spirit there is, a throw in the mixer that is undrinkable straight.

2. ???

3. Profit!

Posted by: Cicero (@cicero) at November 22, 2017 04:23 PM (+0jcH)

G and Ts are mandatory in tropical regions.

The quinine in tonic water wards off malaria

The gin wards off reality

Posted by: IllTemperedCur at November 22, 2017 04:26 PM (veoSD)

236 I have some libs in my family, but since the Walker recall (when they came close to beating me to death), we have avoided politics. I did not gloat after Walker won (although I really, really wanted to) and they didn't gloat after Obama was reelected.

Last year, they were too shell-shocked to say anything.

Posted by: Donna and V. (sans ampersands at the present time) at November 22, 2017 04:26 PM (ZM2xo)

237 222 Its almost 90 degrees here in So Cal, its a bloody heatwave...not really looking forward to the hot kitchen tomorrow. It sucks.
Posted by: IC at November 22, 2017 04:24 PM (a0IVu)

-------

Yep. Got the AC running in the house. NOT conducive to holiday cheer.

Posted by: Cicero (@cicero) at November 22, 2017 04:26 PM (+0jcH)

238 Is it wrong that it makes me feel good that people like Reid and Wittes seem to be absolutely fucking miserable since Trump was elected.

Posted by: tu3031 at November 22, 2017 04:27 PM (O5Q3r)

239 I've been meaning to try that for a few years now..but first, I need to buy a fryer.
Posted by: IC a

Decent garage sale find

Posted by: Jean at November 22, 2017 04:27 PM (UhyWI)

240 The Gin & Tonic.
1. Take the nastiest tasting distilled spirit there is, a throw in the mixer that is undrinkable straight.
2. ???
3. Profit!
Posted by: Cicero (@cicero) at November 22, 2017 04:23 PM (+0jcH)

Must add lemon or lime juice...then very tasty.

Posted by: Hairyback Guy at November 22, 2017 04:27 PM (255Pj)

241 Had they been a wiser group we would celebrating Thanksgiving the way it was intended with stuffed Lobster.

Posted by: JackStraw at November 22, 2017 04:08 PM (/tuJf)

Your situation may be different, being closer to the coast. But all they sell in my area is 'chix' lobsters. Which are like six ounces of meat.

I refuse to support the sale of tiny little lobster. It almost seems criminal. Throw 'em back and give 'em a couple years to put some meat on.

Posted by: Ace Tractor Seat Supply at November 22, 2017 04:27 PM (ajiE5)

242 222 Its almost 90 degrees here in So Cal, its a bloody heatwave...not really looking forward to the hot kitchen tomorrow. It sucks.

Posted by: IC at November 22, 2017 04:24 PM (a0IVu)

Eating a Thanksgiving Day meal in 90 degree heat does not sound appealing at all - but I'll be jealous of you 2 months from now!

Posted by: Donna and V. (sans ampersands at the present time) at November 22, 2017 04:28 PM (ZM2xo)

243 You should sit in on some of the harassment training classes I do. Because it is. Even looking can be construed as harassment if it offends someone.

It just seems... excessively picky. Yeah I don't want to be hugged necessarily at work but that doesn't rise to the same level of awful as groping or wanking in front of someone, much less worse crimes.

I worked at a convenience store once and the manager who I knew from school kept giving me shoulder rubs while I was at the cash register. It wasn't some come-on, I think it was meant to be chummy, etc (trust me, she didn't like me that way at all). But I didn't like it, not because it was creepy but keep your hands off me while we're at work for crying out loud.

But what I didn't consider it to be was sexual harassment. Not worth reporting to the company, not anything to get upset about.

Posted by: Christopher R Taylor at November 22, 2017 04:28 PM (39g3+)

244 Don't expect much "fireworks" tomorrow.... Daughter is having it... We will be deep frying two turkeys and 90% of the Family members are Conservative....The other 10% don't bring up politics.... Will be nice cause Daughter will be left with the mess... It pays to get "old" sometime...

Posted by: It's me donna at November 22, 2017 04:29 PM (O2RFr)

245 I refuse to support the sale of tiny little lobster. It almost seems criminal. Throw 'em back and give 'em a couple years to put some meat on.

---------

I like to get em while they're young.

Posted by: Don Henley at November 22, 2017 04:29 PM (+0jcH)

246 Her new oven had 2 controls for baking in the oven.
=====

12 years since I bought this sucker and still can't work it without supervision.

Whatever happened to regular old dials?

Posted by: mustbequantum at November 22, 2017 04:29 PM (MIKMs)

247 Your situation may be different, being closer to the coast. But all they sell in my area is 'chix' lobsters. Which are like six ounces of meat.

I refuse to support the sale of tiny little lobster. It almost seems criminal. Throw 'em back and give 'em a couple years to put some meat on.
Posted by: Ace Tractor Seat Supply

Was at Pappadeaux's Seafood Restaurant last night for my birthday dinner.
King of the tank - 9 lb lobster $180.00. Yeah. He stayed.

Posted by: rickb223 at November 22, 2017 04:29 PM (f/e+k)

248 203 Eris i personally favor manhattans over anything gin. but i personally favor sex on the beach, but that limits one to two drinks or hanging out with the porcelain queen.
Posted by: willow at November 22, 2017 04:21 PM (UbFuA)

So willow gets high and then goes down to the ocean and gets sand everywhere.

Posted by: buzzion - guess my sign at November 22, 2017 04:29 PM (z/Ubi)

249 Dear angry people, you are not welcome at my home. Getting your freak on at a family gathering free glass of shut the fuck up and a quick ticket to get the fuck out.

Had some hippy chick ranting about Trump on 2016 4th of July. After letting her dig her stupid hole of "unaware and compliant" progressive points for a while, I let her have it and then walked off.

Posted by: flounder, rebel, vulgarian, deplorable, winner at November 22, 2017 04:29 PM (tbOMB)

250 Anybody doing the Flamin' Hot Cheetohs Turkey?

http://www.reynoldskitchens.com/tips/flavor-blasted-turkeys/

A few bong rips into the evening and that looks mighty tasty, I bet.

Posted by: All Hail Eris, She-Wolf of the 'Ettes 'Ettes at November 22, 2017 04:30 PM (qJtVm)

251
The thing with gin is, there's really no such thing as "premium" gin. One of the best gins around is the old standby (and Winston Churchill's favorite), Boodles.

Which can be had for about the same price as off-brand well whiskey.

Posted by: IllTemperedCur at November 22, 2017 04:30 PM (veoSD)

252 246 Her new oven had 2 controls for baking in the oven.
=====

12 years since I bought this sucker and still can't work it without supervision.

Whatever happened to regular old dials?
Posted by: mustbequantum at November 22, 2017 04:29 PM (MIKMs)

To easy to replace if they break.

Posted by: buzzion - guess my sign at November 22, 2017 04:31 PM (z/Ubi)

253 Bradford said that after they allowed people to work their own plots, and trade any excess, they never starved again.

Bullshit, that was before Adam Smith invented capitalism

Posted by: Jean at November 22, 2017 04:31 PM (UhyWI)

254 How to talk to your family at TG about Planned Parenthood.

"Yes; This is great stuffing, Mom. I've always enjoyed your stuffing. Aren't you glad you're past menopause, and don't have to worry about being stuffed with a baby you don't want against your will?. Aren't you thrilled that people like Doug Jones who is running for the Senate in Alabama supports Panned parenthood and believes in sucking out a baby from a woman's uterus at anytime the mother wants up till birth?"

Pass the gravy please.

Posted by: Leftist child at November 22, 2017 04:31 PM (8+Ozj)

255 I wonder how many Black Friday incidents we will have at Wal-Mart this year.

Now there's a betting pool to replace football. Except, I don't like the mean, serious injury ones.

I'm talking where there is some wig pulling over a toaster.

Posted by: Gumdrop Gorilla is fan of Professor Chaos at November 22, 2017 04:32 PM (St5qb)

256 This #MeToo hysteria is going to lead to women treating men like Islam teaches their men to treat their women.

Posted by: Monk at November 22, 2017 04:32 PM (g4lFK)

257 I am so glad everyone that will be at the Thanksgiving table is a Trumpian voter. So many other things to talk about.

Posted by: Infidel at November 22, 2017 04:32 PM (Ix4M6)

258
So willow gets high and then goes down to the ocean and gets sand everywhere.
Posted by: buzzion - guess my sign at November 22, 2017 04:29 PM

Sand in the Schlitz?

Posted by: Bertram Cabot, Jr. at November 22, 2017 04:32 PM (IqV8l)

259 I've always been curious how that worked.

I mean, they did plant things and know how to fish in Europe, right?

Posted by: Methos at November 22, 2017 03:59 PM (XQvuQ)

Well, when you consider that the wilderness came right up to the sea in those days and so they had to clear that out to make fields and farms - and England and Holland's climate is more temperate, with a longer growing season than New England's, different soil - it could be that the plants, seeds they had brought with them didn't grow that well here.

Posted by: Donna and V. (sans ampersands at the present time) at November 22, 2017 04:32 PM (ZM2xo)

260
239 I've been meaning to try that for a few years now..but first, I need to buy a fryer.
Posted by: IC a

Decent garage sale find

Posted by: Jean at November 22, 2017 04:27 PM (UhyWI)

Try a fire sale.

Posted by: IllTemperedCur at November 22, 2017 04:32 PM (veoSD)

261
I just can't imagine saying dear black people to somebody. weird, not only because I am not a collectivist.

Posted by: Guy Mohawk at November 22, 2017 04:33 PM (r+sAi)

262 Yep. Got the AC running in the house. NOT conducive to holiday cheer.
Posted by: Cicero (@cicero) at November 22, 2017 04:26 PM (+0jcH)

My house is still cool,it will be hot in the kitchen tomorrow though.

Posted by: CaliGirl at November 22, 2017 04:33 PM (Ri/rl)

263 249 Dear angry people, you are not welcome at my home. Getting your freak on at a family gathering free glass of shut the fuck up and a quick ticket to get the fuck out.

Had some hippy chick ranting about Trump on 2016 4th of July. After letting her dig her stupid hole of "unaware and compliant" progressive points for a while, I let her have it and then walked off.
Posted by: flounder, rebel, vulgarian, deplorable, winner at November 22, 2017 04:29 PM (tbOMB)

So you fucked her proper.

Posted by: Monk at November 22, 2017 04:33 PM (g4lFK)

264 Was at Pappadeaux's Seafood Restaurant last night for my birthday dinner.
King of the tank - 9 lb lobster $180.00. Yeah. He stayed.

----------

Do you have any idea how hard it is to commit suicide with rubber bands on your claws? FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, JUST PICK ME AND GET IT OVER WITH!!!!

Posted by: A Nine Pound Lobster at November 22, 2017 04:33 PM (+0jcH)

265 I'd like to see a man on the street poll to see how many people know which President declared the last Thursday in November to be a national holiday of Thanksgiving?

I'd bet only 10% would know and only because it's one that could be guessed.

Posted by: Alabaster Jones at November 22, 2017 04:34 PM (2DOZq)

266 I prefer little rock lobsters.

Posted by: Jean at November 22, 2017 04:35 PM (UhyWI)

267 Has anybody had Thanksgiving sex after eating?

Posted by: Monk at November 22, 2017 04:35 PM (g4lFK)

268 Matthew Dowd thinks we need to talk to you troglodytes over Thanksgiving Dinner for the Common Good.

Posted by: Mr. Peebles at November 22, 2017 04:35 PM (oVJmc)

269 Great to see you, Dad. Thanks for carving the turkey, but did you ever realize have racistly racist you are every day of your life simply by -being a white person and all?. I hope that you will consider a donation to BLM so that you can atone for your racism over the past 50 years,

is there any more of the pumpkin pie?

Posted by: Leftist child at November 22, 2017 04:35 PM (8+Ozj)

270 . Aren't you thrilled that people like Doug Jones who is running for the Senate in Alabama supports Panned parenthood and believes in sucking out a baby from a woman's uterus at anytime the mother wants up till birth?"

Pass the gravy please.

--------

The best part is analogizing the unborn baby to the useless turkey giblets.

Posted by: Cicero (@cicero) at November 22, 2017 04:36 PM (+0jcH)

271 >>Your situation may be different, being closer to the coast. But all they sell in my area is 'chix' lobsters. Which are like six ounces of meat.

I'm a bit closer to the source I think.

Posted by: JackStraw at November 22, 2017 04:36 PM (/tuJf)

272 New England's climate is harsh to deal with even today with central heating, roads and snowplows and LL Bean for your terminal underwear needs. The Pilgrims arrived with no modern conveniences and no idea of just how cold it gets in NE. So I can see why they needed and welcomed Indian help.

Posted by: Donna and V. (sans ampersands at the present time) at November 22, 2017 04:36 PM (ZM2xo)

273 when people take me too seriously and don't get my jokes
I punch them in the throat. heh

and my Plymouth Rock-ed, those slant sixes in the 67 Valiants were awesome (and I was too a cool kid with my Valiant ... having any car was cool .. ha)

Posted by: illiniwek at November 22, 2017 04:36 PM (/aIFg)

274 What's Thanksgiving sex, Pepe? Eating your thanksgiving platter off the tummy of your current squeeze?

Posted by: fenelonSpoke at November 22, 2017 04:37 PM (8+Ozj)

275 I'd like to see a man on the street poll to see how many people know which President declared the last Thursday in November to be a national holiday of Thanksgiving?

I'd bet only 10% would know and only because it's one that could be guessed.
Posted by: Alabaster Jones at November 22, 2017 04:34 PM (2DOZq)

We changed that back.

Posted by: Retailers at November 22, 2017 04:37 PM (48QDY)

276 269 Great to see you, Dad. Thanks for carving the turkey, but did you ever realize have racistly racist you are every day of your life simply by -being a white person and all?. I hope that you will consider a donation to BLM so that you can atone for your racism over the past 50 years,

is there any more of the pumpkin pie?
Posted by: Leftist child at November 22, 2017 04:35 PM (8+Ozj)

You know, your palpebral fissures aren't in the same horizontal plane. I just noticed that. You can see that in aneuploidy, but its usually a non specific thing.

Posted by: Alcoholic Asshole Shut In to Leftist child at November 22, 2017 04:37 PM (CPk08)

277 This past weekend NPR news (or one of its syndicated shows) talked up the NewFact that conservative media outlets wanted their Hitlerite readership to ambush unsuspecting prog family members with Trump Jingoism at the Thanksgiving dinner table.

The shitshow never ends.

Posted by: 13times at November 22, 2017 04:37 PM (WHVu+)

278 So, I'm curious how many of you go over to these people's houses and tell them what bad people they are while eating their food?

Posted by: ryukyu at November 22, 2017 04:37 PM (12Vsr)

279 266 I prefer little rock lobsters.
Posted by: Jean at November 22, 2017 04:35 PM (UhyWI)

Us too

Posted by: B-52s at November 22, 2017 04:38 PM (2DOZq)

280 1. The tax cuts will never happen so Chuck has nothing to worry about.

2. I refuse to eat any meal with liberals. So sadly i wont get to use all these great tips.

Posted by: #neverskankles at November 22, 2017 04:39 PM (KnKxN)

281 267
Has anybody had Thanksgiving sex after eating?

Posted by: Monk at November 22, 2017 04:35 PM (g4lFK)
Sex is best while hungry. Otherwise, pie would never have been invented.

Posted by: Peaches at November 22, 2017 04:39 PM (14URa)

282 A treat! Just in time for wine thirty.

Happy thanksgiving sir ace.

Posted by: Simplemind at November 22, 2017 04:39 PM (ZuGkg)

283 There's nothing like TG dinner with the Italian in-laws where old vendettas are settled about important things like Jellied vs Whole Berry.

Posted by: Under Fire at November 22, 2017 04:40 PM (r9UYA)

284 NOOD Frankengrope

Posted by: Cicero (@cicero) at November 22, 2017 04:40 PM (+0jcH)

285 195 My only contentious debate is with myself -- Manhattans or Gin and Tonics?
Posted by: All Hail Eris, She-Wolf of the 'Ettes 'Ettes at November 22, 2017 04:17 PM (qJtVm)

Ummmmmmm......Manhattans.

Posted by: Hairyback Guy at November 22, 2017 04:19 PM (255Pj)

Manhattans! G and T's are more summery, IMO.

Posted by: Donna and V. (sans ampersands at the present time) at November 22, 2017 04:40 PM (ZM2xo)

286 If you want to drive these assholes crazy (and who doesn't) keep shifting the topic based, sort of, on what they said. Start with phrases like: "That reminds me of" or "You know, that brings to mind". Then launch into some esoteric minutiae about Lord of the Rings, Travels With Charley, or anything they are unlikely to have read. Make it something you care about and can expound on for hours. If they interrupt with another BS point, repeat the procedure with another outre matter.

The beauty of this is that there need be no actual connection between their words and your topic.

Of course, if they actually show up with Fucky Schumer's graphs and tables, you get to shove it up their ass after folding it so it is all sharp corners.

Posted by: JTB at November 22, 2017 04:41 PM (V+03K)

287 267 Has anybody had Thanksgiving sex after eating?
Posted by: Monk at November 22, 2017 04:35 PM (g4lFK)

Tried but fell asleep in the middle of it.

Posted by: Alabaster Jones at November 22, 2017 04:41 PM (2DOZq)

288 Show of hands for whoever's "accidentally" posted a pic of their junk on the internet. Because, no, that does NOT happen by accident.

Show of hand for anyone who actually has a pic of their junk.

Posted by: Grump928(C) at November 22, 2017 04:41 PM (60v4h)

289 "Sex is best while hungry. Otherwise, pie would never have been invented."
-Posted by: Peaches at November 22, 2017 04:39 PM (14URa)

When I first read that, I tilted my head like a puppy hearing a noise. But after a thorough Fisking, I could find no error in your ways.

Posted by: Slapweasel, (Cold1), (T) at November 22, 2017 04:41 PM (Ckg4U)

290 Yay! Off work. Now to go to Sam's. Ugh.

Posted by: rickb223 at November 22, 2017 04:41 PM (f/e+k)

291 Anyone else going lib-free?

Posted by: cn at November 22, 2017 04:42 PM (5gaNQ)

292 I'm talking where there is some wig pulling over a toaster.
Posted by: Gumdrop Gorilla is fan of Professor Chaos at November 22, 2017 04:32 PM

This is about me, isn't it?

Posted by: Maxine Waters at November 22, 2017 04:42 PM (ctuyM)

293 When I first read that, I tilted my head like a
puppy hearing a noise. But after a thorough Fisking, I could find no
error in your ways.

Posted by: Slapweasel, (Cold1), (T) at November 22, 2017 04:41 PM (Ckg4U)
I might be old but I wasn't always, Slap. Hey, so, you doing tomorrow with the folks? I know it's not a lot of fun right now but I do wish you and your family a very sweet day of it.

Posted by: Peaches at November 22, 2017 04:43 PM (14URa)

294 The worst of it is, they aren't talking to you to change your mind or enlighten you. They are reveling in letting you know what a bad person you are, and what superior persons they are.

Posted by: Meremortal, no prosecutions, no peace! at November 22, 2017 04:43 PM (3myMJ)

295 255 - You don't have to wait for Black Friday I tell ya. Just roll on down to your local Costco for a pumpkin pie right at opening bell. They had *1800* of them... Gone in 20+ minutes. I got two, wouldn't leave my cart unattended. Bedlam... pure bedlam.

Posted by: SkinnerVic at November 22, 2017 04:44 PM (nbwH3)

296 Sex is best while hungry. Otherwise, pie would never have been invented.
Posted by: Peaches at November 22, 2017 04:39 PM (14URa)
---
Skip right to the cherry pi-i-i-i-e-e-e-e!!

Posted by: All Hail Eris, She-Wolf of the 'Ettes 'Ettes at November 22, 2017 04:45 PM (qJtVm)

297 Store bought pumpkin pie?

Posted by: cn at November 22, 2017 04:45 PM (5gaNQ)

298 My siblings and family mostly need saving, from the Dem PC world of global warming and hate for deplorables ... I just don't have the energy, and they'd flip back in a week anyway, on any point I managed to make.

The main thing those reunions do is reveal how thoroughly the commie left has been in infiltrating the minds of the average American. Generally the blue collar have the better grip on reality, which is how we got Trump maybe.

But the eyes glaze over even for the best of them, if the debt bomb and fiat currency comes up ... or Uranium One and hard drives wiped like with a cloth. Blissful ignorance is more fun.

I'm glad we won the west (saw "How the West was Won" at the drive in decades back), All in all, Indians were not such advanced or polite peoples, except when they came for Thanksgiving Dinner.

Posted by: illiniwek at November 22, 2017 04:48 PM (/aIFg)

299 The talking to grownchildren is a great idea!

The past few years have, for me, been a race to the bottle of Jack and never letting go until the Turkey hits the table. Conversations? Nothing past the weather and football, and pro football is off limits this year, of course.

So it is just the "is Alabama really a true number one" conversations, and they get boring.

The only down side to this new strategy is that I have to cut back on the Jack, in order to complete my sentences.

I'll give it a year and see how it goes.

Posted by: LeftCoast Dawg at November 22, 2017 04:50 PM (UsCnO)

300 "I might be old but I wasn't always, Slap. Hey, so, you doing tomorrow with the folks? I know it's not a lot of fun right now but I do wish you and your family a very sweet day of it."
-Posted by: Peaches at November 22, 2017 04:43 PM (14URa)

Yup, it always goes very well. Thank You, you too!

Posted by: Slapweasel, (Cold1), (T) at November 22, 2017 04:51 PM (Ckg4U)

301 Nood, people..

Posted by: IC at November 22, 2017 04:55 PM (a0IVu)

302 My favorite is starting with "not a lot of people know this...." 60% of the time it works every time. Also add in the words "true fact" at the end. For example:

"Not a lot of people know this, but 86% of homeless people can't make their mortgage pavements. True fact."

"Not a lot of people know this, but Neal Degrasse Tyson once bit off a man's ear. True fact."

It really helps if you manage to slip in the word "stadistics".

"Stadistics say by the year 2050, over half the world's population will be pregnant if we don't supply some free birth control. True fact."

If they call you on mispronunciation, deny it vehemently. A really classy move is to accuse them of racism/sexism/classism.

"Hey, I may not always pronounce words correctly like people of your status, but at least I know what they MEAN. Unlike our presidents."

Posted by: Dean Wormer at November 22, 2017 05:02 PM (+Jknm)

303 I honestly have never tried to plant fish.

wait, Abe Vigoda's dead ??

Posted by: Cu'Chulainn at November 22, 2017 05:04 PM (vmsda)

304 Open dinner with "pie is for winners."

Posted by: Dean Wormer at November 22, 2017 05:06 PM (+Jknm)

305 Going to the in-laws for thanksgiving. My SIL is an ultra liberal / communist sympathizer. I'm debating acting like Paulie from Rocky if she starts with her liberal BS...

"You want the bird? Go in the alley and eat the bird."

Posted by: Strategic Corporal USMC at November 22, 2017 05:11 PM (5pTgP)

306 They really don't know what colossal douche bags they are, do they?

Posted by: steve walsh at November 22, 2017 05:48 PM (Y4Kqh)

307 ...How about I shove a live turkey up your ass, you moronic
castrati?

Posted by: TN VOLUNTEER at November 22, 2017 06:17 PM (y385q)

308 At least the Indians shut their yaps and ate the goddamn turkey! and ya know, if they were less Manichean in their thinking they might be running more than Connecticut's economy today.

Posted by: Joe Pilates at November 22, 2017 06:17 PM (XWfIj)

309 Okay Joy, how about a new White House Thanksgiving tradition.

Lets have a live turkey shoot. Cash prizes, offhand, standing, iron sights, muzzle loaders as used in 1776 at 200 yards. Turkeys to be cooked and donated to the Salvation Army for Thanksgiving dinners.

Posted by: geoffb at November 22, 2017 06:35 PM (zOpu5)

310 Post of the Week, Ace. Post. Of. The. Week.

That is some funny stuff. I only wish it kept going.

Posted by: AnonymousDrivel at November 22, 2017 11:37 PM (H8S+R)

311 Taking copious notes.......

Posted by: Dave at November 23, 2017 06:20 AM (sHvES)

312 Too much effort expended on people too dumb to remember how to breathe.

Just tell them that they lost, MAGA, and they are not invited to Thanksgiving dinner or Christmas until they disavow communism and liberal stupidity.

Posted by: Braden Lynch at November 23, 2017 12:59 PM (pRnlX)

313 "Dear White People"

Somehow, I'm not feeling the "Dear"-part.

Posted by: The Gipper Lives at November 27, 2017 09:08 AM (Ndje9)

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