Support




Contact
Ace:
aceofspadeshq at gee mail.com
CBD:
cbd.aoshq at gee mail.com
Buck:
buck.throckmorton at protonmail.com
joe mannix:
mannix2024 at proton.me
MisHum:
petmorons at gee mail.com
J.J. Sefton:
sefton at cutjibnewsletter.com
Powered by
Movable Type





OMG: CNN Discovers, A Bit Late, That Women Usually Need Clitoral Stimulation to Climax; Then Writes Propaganda Piece Against Conventional Heterosexual Sex

Instapundit rightly goofs on this, but I wonder if I read on through or just decided this was silly trash and stopped reading.

It gets a bit worse.

Many of us equate "sex" with "intercourse" and use those words interchangeably. Yet highly satisfying sex doesn't have to be limited to penetration -- and doesn't even have to include it at all.

According to a recent study, many women report that they require clitoral stimulation to have an orgasm.

I can only repeat Instapundit's joke here: "Breaking news from 1973."

Now, as I read this, I began to wonder: "Who is this written for?"

It doesn't seem to be written for adult women or even sexually experienced teenaged girls, who I'm pretty sure know that the clitoris is a very important thing in female climaxes. Given that it's now fashionable to talk about vibrators all day long, I think the word is out -- among adult women and even sexually experienced teenagers -- that hitting the Bozo Button (as a friend called it) can really light a gal up.

So who's the audience here?

There's only one group I can think of who is likely to be ignorant that clitoral stimulation is a good and nice thing: pre-teens.

Teen Vogue -- Teen Vogue, which is almost certainly aiming for readers younger than teens or just early teens, because kids tend to read "up" in age level, not at their own recommended level -- is giving advice about how to do prostate stimulation and have anal sex.

And now CNN, hunting for clicks and revenues, seems to be following that model of publishing pieces that couldn't interest more than a percentage or two of adults, but which would be interesting to a sexually-inexperienced tween or early teenager.

And so this reads to me as propaganda. It seems to be saying "Little girls, you can have so much better sex with other girls."

But read it and let me know what you think. Note the following is the "reporter" editorializing in her "news article:

In reading [her] results, I'm struck by the idea that the majority of women report that they often don't reach orgasm through intercourse alone.

Really? I do not believe you find this surprising. Adults do not find this surprising. It's a pretty common thing that if penetrative sex fails to do the job, a man will attempt, or a woman will suggest, hitting the Bozo Button for a bit.

I don't know if this writer is sexually-inexperienced person herself or just pretending to be one to relate to a target audience.

This flies in the face of the stereotype of intercourse as the be-all and end-all of sexual activity -- and suggests that couples should explore the whole range of pleasurable options for achieving climax.

Remember, this is a "news article." She doesn't know where this Patriarchal Idea that actual (procreative) sex is the "be-all-end-all" of sexual activity.

Though maybe it has something to do with that whole "procreative" part, and how bodies are kinda wired for this specific type of sex.

It then goes on to exalt the virtues of non-P-in-V sex or kinda-sex, like kissing, erotic massage, and sex toys.

You know -- things you don't need the dreaded Penis People for:

This term "outercourse" refers to sex that isn't intercourse and doesn't involve penetration. It can include kissing, touching, erotic massage and using sex toys, just to name a few options.

"When we equate intercourse and sex and call everything that comes before intercourse 'foreplay,' we are buying into the cultural script that sex should proceed as follows: foreplay (just enough to get her ready for intercourse), intercourse (during which both women and men orgasm), and game over," Mintz said. But sex doesn't have to involve intercourse at all. Even when it does, other forms of stimulation can add to the experience and may improve the odds of reaching orgasm.

All fine things -- but she seems pretty intent on proving that a woman needs a man like a fish needs a bicycle with a Magic Rabbit on the seat.

Again, I'm just baffled. I am not sure who exactly doesn't know that alternate methods of sex, like oral sex, or manual sex (trying to keep this clean), can be pleasurable.

At least, I don't know any adults or sexually-inexperienced teenagers who don't know this.

I don't get the whole pose (if it is a pose) of an adult writer pretending to be dumbfounded to learn what most adults learned around, oh, say the time they were 17 or 18.

More Cowbell: I accidentally misgendered the writer. I assumed that you wouldn't have a guy writing about female sexuality. You know -- sexual appropriation.

I also assumed that only a woman would be assigned to this sort of Female Clickbait topic.

Turns out, the writer is (nominally) a man, and a rather older man, who... well, if he's missed the plot on the clitoris all his life, I have to assume he hasn't explored that particular studio space very often.

Posted by: Ace at 08:40 PM




Comments

(Jump to bottom of comments)

1
"Interesting piece."

- - Achmed the clit clipper

Posted by: J.J. Sefton at August 28, 2017 08:43 PM (mbhDw)

2 A little NSFW mood music:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=muMZ5zYrTgc

Posted by: The Motör Hat at August 28, 2017 08:44 PM (vBeA5)

3 We'll I'll be darned. You learn something new every day.

Posted by: Bosk at August 28, 2017 08:44 PM (n2K+4)

4 Some more NSFW mood music:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p2Mi995ggFU

Posted by: The Musical Hat at August 28, 2017 08:44 PM (vBeA5)

5 i bet you all my starwars CNN fake news propaganda slut Don Lemon's tittering behind his hand at the successful perpetration of this clitoris hoax

Posted by: happyfeet at August 28, 2017 08:44 PM (mLfQi)

6 No wonder Jim Acosta's wife is divorcing him.

Posted by: Jane D'oh at August 28, 2017 08:45 PM (PY9jH)

7
"We used to rub 'em out all the time, right?"

- - Tommy Di Simone

Posted by: J.J. Sefton at August 28, 2017 08:45 PM (mbhDw)

8 Vimin come? Who knew

Now excuse me while I roll over and go to sleep

Posted by: Nevergiveup at August 28, 2017 08:45 PM (SjImc)

9 Can someone ask the Imam his opinion on this?

Bet it will make CNN change their tune.


Posted by: shibumi at August 28, 2017 08:45 PM (aT+Bx)

10 It then goes on to exalt the virtues of non-P-in-V sex or kinda-sex, like kissing, erotic massage, and sex toys.

No "accidental" lesbian pron link with that statement?! Sigh, it's like I don't even know you anymore.

Posted by: bebe's boobs destroy at August 28, 2017 08:46 PM (hscyr)

11 Ewwwwww.....

Posted by: Shep at August 28, 2017 08:46 PM (n2K+4)

12 CNN's science division has degraded so much, the South Park Movie is now considered a "study."

Posted by: JSchuler at August 28, 2017 08:46 PM (YsGL+)

13 *blank look* *blinks*

-- Chris Cuomo

Posted by: Jane D'oh at August 28, 2017 08:46 PM (PY9jH)

14 6 No wonder Jim Acosta's wife is divorcing him.
Posted by: Jane D'oh at August 28, 2017 08:45 PM (PY9jH)


It's boring watching a preening, chubby narcissist rotate on a fireplug.

Posted by: J.J. Sefton at August 28, 2017 08:46 PM (mbhDw)

15 I'm not going to bother crediting Ekdahl anymore. This should be a part of the National lexicon by now:

What a stupid fucking time to be alive.

Posted by: The mass media can EABOD. at August 28, 2017 08:46 PM (CEU4j)

16 I got nothing to contribute.

Posted by: josephistan at August 28, 2017 08:46 PM (ANIFC)

17 this is like saying a guy will have better orgasms when his partner says 'you're the best I've ever had, Reggie."

Posted by: mallfly the expert at August 28, 2017 08:47 PM (ILitO)

18 9 Can someone ask the Imam his opinion on this?

Bet it will make CNN change their tune.

Posted by: shibumi at August 28, 2017 08:45 PM (aT+Bx)


"Me so ronery."

- - Comment #1

Posted by: J.J. Sefton at August 28, 2017 08:47 PM (mbhDw)

19 Women get off just looking at me. It's a gift.

Posted by: Jim "Jim" Acosta at August 28, 2017 08:47 PM (PY9jH)

20 *pours vodka, claps hands together, and rubs them.*

This should be good.

Posted by: Your Decidedly Devious Uncle Palpatine. All Honor & Glory to Kekistan! at August 28, 2017 08:47 PM (fA1SL)

21 " kids who don't know anything."

So, Progressives of all ages, then.

Posted by: West at August 28, 2017 08:48 PM (K7+Sk)

22 Women Usually Need Clitoral Stimulation
===

Again with the mythical "clitoris"?

Posted by: Mortimer - Finish Her! at August 28, 2017 08:48 PM (2wRtc)

23 So, how many kohns does this rate on the stupidity scale?

Posted by: Aunt Luna at August 28, 2017 08:48 PM (Zd2ZF)

24 The "bozo button". Let me write that down...

Posted by: tu3031 at August 28, 2017 08:48 PM (O5Q3r)

25 Federal investigators working for Special Counsel Robert Mueller are keenly focused on President Donald Trumps role in crafting a response to a published article about a meeting between Russians and his son Donald Jr., three sources familiar with the matter told NBC News.

LOL...So now it is illegal for a father to talk to his son if he is a Republican? What a crock of shit...Next thing ya gonna tell me is that women have orgasms..( see how I connected this?)

Posted by: Nevergiveup at August 28, 2017 08:48 PM (SjImc)

26 22 Women Usually Need Clitoral Stimulation
===

Again with the mythical "clitoris"?

Posted by: Mortimer - Finish Her! at August 28, 2017 08:48 PM (2wRtc)


Shep still doing that "G-Block" shit?

Posted by: J.J. Sefton at August 28, 2017 08:49 PM (mbhDw)

27 blah blah ...

And Sasquatch. And UFOs...

Posted by: Mortimer - Finish Her! at August 28, 2017 08:49 PM (2wRtc)

28 There is no such thing as a clitoris in Islam- Imam Dri Humper

Posted by: Ben Had at August 28, 2017 08:49 PM (mP9iy)

29 I didn't know Acosta had divorced a couple of months ago (or separated prior to divorce):

http://pagesix.com/2017/07/24/recently-separated-jim-acosta-of-cnn-is-loving-the-single-life/

it all makes sense now-- all the peacocking he does. He's trying to make himself attractive to younger, stupider members of #TheResistance.

Posted by: ace at August 28, 2017 08:49 PM (8rNrN)

30 Fox had a story about a kindergarten class in CA teaching five year olds about transgenderism.

So at least the left has its priorities in order.

Posted by: Jane D'oh at August 28, 2017 08:49 PM (PY9jH)

31 Betsy Rothstein is also remarking on Jim Acosta's suddenly not-gray hair:

http://dailycaller.com/2017/08/28/fake-hues-cnns-jim-acosta-washes-the-gray-right-out-of-his-hair/

Posted by: ace at August 28, 2017 08:49 PM (8rNrN)

32 Bozo button - good.
Krusty the Clown button - strange, but whatever floats your boat.
John Wayne Gary in a clown suit button - not good at all.

Posted by: PabloD at August 28, 2017 08:49 PM (yAX7n)

33 I just....WT?


Seriously people, HISTORY DID NOT BEGIN THE DAY YOU WERE BORN!

Posted by: Tami at August 28, 2017 08:50 PM (Enq6K)

34

a bicycle with a Magic Rabbit on the seat.

http://tinyurl.com/yapdm3dp

Posted by: Bertram Cabot, Jr. at August 28, 2017 08:50 PM (IqV8l)

35 Ill mark this as another data point for normalization of pedophilia.

Posted by: Widespread Pepe at August 28, 2017 08:50 PM (XFue2)

36 32. They all float down there.

Posted by: Your Decidedly Devious Uncle Palpatine. All Honor & Glory to Kekistan! at August 28, 2017 08:50 PM (fA1SL)

37 Again with the mythical "clitoris"?
Posted by: Mortimer - Finish Her! at August 28, 2017 08:48 PM (

Hey, if Stan could find it, the 'rons should be able to too.

Posted by: bebe's boobs destroy at August 28, 2017 08:50 PM (hscyr)

38 so if she's a feminist that suggests men aren't needed to have fun, which can also be true. why isn'y she and her friends, responding to all the muslims girls being declitted, and they will never experience the 'fun' ever that they so much want explored by women?

Posted by: willow at August 28, 2017 08:50 PM (FKrah)

39 has anyone asked goto girl Lena Dunham about this?

Posted by: mallfly the expert at August 28, 2017 08:50 PM (ILitO)

40 >>>Again with the mythical "clitoris"?


no the clitoris is real. It's the G-Spot that is a mythological place, a part of the map where they just say "Here there be dragons (but no G-Spot)"

Posted by: ace at August 28, 2017 08:50 PM (8rNrN)

41
Moist Betty Crocker! Yum!

Posted by: J.J. Sefton at August 28, 2017 08:50 PM (mbhDw)

42 38. Shut up. That's why.

Posted by: Your Decidedly Devious Uncle Palpatine. All Honor & Glory to Kekistan! at August 28, 2017 08:51 PM (fA1SL)

43 it all makes sense now-- all the peacocking he does. He's trying to make himself attractive to younger, stupider members of #TheResistance.

Posted by: ace at August 28, 2017 08:49 PM (8rNrN)


Jim...don't try so hard. They're, ya know, stupid. You be you.

Posted by: Tami at August 28, 2017 08:51 PM (Enq6K)

44 >>>a bicycle with a Magic Rabbit on the seat.

http://tinyurl.com/yapdm3dp

...

I don't even want to know.

Posted by: ace at August 28, 2017 08:51 PM (8rNrN)

45 the jokes, they write themselves...


the Pervertocracy in full bloom

Posted by: SantaRosaStan at August 28, 2017 08:51 PM (xBOLn)

46 People that think like this are robbing themselves of the joys of the opposite sex. People that encourage it in their children don't deserve to be parents, but then a lot of people shouldn't be parents.

Posted by: freaked at August 28, 2017 08:51 PM (BO/km)

47 Well ... this is fascinating. Mind blowing, really.

So - are you telling me - there's a sure-fire way to stimulate a woman ? Like ... for lack of a better word ... an "Easy Button" ?

Well - fuck me. If only I'd ever went Face to Vag and seen something that looked something like a button. That would have been handy.

Or - just randomly licking around - bumped over a bump, heard a sigh, and connected the dots. That would have been some damn fine info.

I blame the Ette's. It would have been a hell of thing if you shits would have talked about a "girl dick" or a "hard-on". That would have been a nice clue.

*sigh*

Posted by: ScoggDog at August 28, 2017 08:51 PM (cM6fa)

48 40 >>>Again with the mythical "clitoris"?


no the clitoris is real. It's the G-Spot that is a mythological place, a part of the map where they just say "Here there be dragons (but no G-Spot)"
Posted by: ace at August 28, 2017 08:50 PM (8rNrN)


Ironically, two keys above Middle C on the piano.

Posted by: J.J. Sefton at August 28, 2017 08:51 PM (mbhDw)

49 Mortimer- I have attributed you in my T-Shirt

Liberalism makes Syphilis look healthy
Mortimer 20:17

Posted by: Ben Had at August 28, 2017 08:51 PM (mP9iy)

50 it all makes sense now-- all the peacocking he does. He's trying to make himself attractive to younger, stupider members of #TheResistance.

Posted by: ace at August 28, 2017 08:49 PM (8rNrN) ,

in fairness there are a plethora of them.

Posted by: willow at August 28, 2017 08:52 PM (FKrah)

51 ace, according to Page Six, Jim's got the ladies lining up at his door.

Posted by: Jane D'oh at August 28, 2017 08:52 PM (PY9jH)

52 has anyone asked goto girl Lena Dunham about this?

I call it my bozo doorknob...

Posted by: Lena Dunham at August 28, 2017 08:52 PM (O5Q3r)

53 Tomorrow's big breaking news: "Men Give Better Handies Than Women, Fellows. Just Saying."

Posted by: spongeworthy at August 28, 2017 08:53 PM (K/9da)

54 >>>19 Women get off just looking at me. It's a gift.
Posted by: Jim "Jim" Acosta

Sometimes all it takes is my reciting a poem off a phone to arouse them into a tornado of secret pleasures.

Posted by: Jim "The Clit Whisperer" Acosta and His Iron Dark Hair at August 28, 2017 08:53 PM (8rNrN)

55 I blame the Ette's. It would have been a hell of
thing if you shits would have talked about a "girl dick" or a "hard-on".
That would have been a nice clue.



*sigh*

Posted by: ScoggDog at August 28, 2017 08:51 PM (cM6fa)


Where the hell have you been?

Posted by: Jane D'oh at August 28, 2017 08:53 PM (PY9jH)

56 51 ace, according to Page Six, Jim's got the ladies lining up at his door.

Posted by: Jane D'oh at August 28, 2017 08:52 PM (PY9jH)


*cues up Lou Reed "Take a Walk On the Wild Side"*

Posted by: J.J. Sefton at August 28, 2017 08:53 PM (mbhDw)

57 I dunno. The author is a) a dude, and b) a couples therapist. Maybe he's used to talking to clitorally-oblivious adults.

Posted by: G. Stilton at August 28, 2017 08:53 PM (4bKiB)

58 scogg Oo

Posted by: willow at August 28, 2017 08:53 PM (FKrah)

59 "It's a pretty common thing that if penetrative sex fails to do the job, a
man will attempt, or a woman will suggest, hitting the Bozo Button for a
bit."

Tongue speed bag warmups on the bozo button is a way to guarantee more dates.

Posted by: X-ray at August 28, 2017 08:53 PM (ZKWca)

60 Geez, what drivel.

Posted by: Anna Puma at August 28, 2017 08:54 PM (HWLn9)

61 I'm going back to YouTube to watch videos about Heisenberg.

Posted by: FireHorse at August 28, 2017 08:54 PM (zkGZ8)

62 G-spot is real.

Posted by: Widespread Pepe at August 28, 2017 08:54 PM (XFue2)

63
All glitz, no clitz.

Posted by: J.J. Sefton at August 28, 2017 08:54 PM (mbhDw)

64
>>>a bicycle with a Magic Rabbit on the seat.

http://tinyurl.com/yapdm3dp
...
I don't even want to know.
Posted by: ace at August 28, 2017 08:51 PM


https://youtu.be/_rLORMOCrPE

Posted by: Bertram Cabot, Jr. at August 28, 2017 08:54 PM (IqV8l)

65 Years ago James Jones was fascinated about this in his book "Whistle". One of the soldiers who returns to his old lady finds she has a boyfriend who licks the happy spot and she wants nothing to do with her old soldier who won't.

So I would say about 1944 even Rosie the Riveter knew about this.

Posted by: Hairyback Guy at August 28, 2017 08:54 PM (5VlCp)

66 Posted by: Jane D'oh at August 28, 2017 08:52 PM (PY9jH)

Well, he's not an unattractive man-but a woman would have to be a leftist to want to have any kind of "relationship' with him.

Posted by: FenelonSpoke at August 28, 2017 08:54 PM (iVOAv)

67 Lesbianism is a myth.

Posted by: Grump928(C) Person of Penis at August 28, 2017 08:54 PM (LTHVh)

68 perhaps the writer just found herself.

Posted by: willow at August 28, 2017 08:54 PM (FKrah)

69 Outercourse. Heh.

Man and I glad I am closer to the end than the beginning. Being young today would suck.

Posted by: JackStraw at August 28, 2017 08:55 PM (/tuJf)

70 >>>Tomorrow's big breaking news: "Men Give Better Handies Than Women, Fellows. Just Saying."

hey kids just do with this information what you will

Signed,

The Children's Coitus Network

Posted by: ace at August 28, 2017 08:55 PM (8rNrN)

71 65
So I would say about 1944 even Rosie the Riveter knew about this.
Posted by: Hairyback Guy at August 28, 2017 08:54 PM (5VlCp


It was primarily the rivet gun, but sure.

Posted by: J.J. Sefton at August 28, 2017 08:55 PM (mbhDw)

72 So - are you telling me - there's a sure-fire way to stimulate a woman ? Like ... for lack of a better word ... an "Easy Button" ?

Well - fuck me. If only I'd ever went Face to Vag and seen something that looked something like a button. That would have been handy.

Or - just randomly licking around - bumped over a bump, heard a sigh, and connected the dots. That would have been some damn fine info.

I blame the Ette's. It would have been a hell of thing if you shits would have talked about a "girl dick" or a "hard-on". That would have been a nice clue.

*sigh*
Posted by: ScoggDog at August 28, 2017 08:51 PM (cM6fa)

======

Doing this would relieve the of their opportunity to bitch to their girlfriends about how you are doing it wrong and how insensitive you are to their needs.

Posted by: GOULD at August 28, 2017 08:55 PM (OT5I1)

73 bozo button.. why oh why?

Posted by: willow at August 28, 2017 08:55 PM (FKrah)

74 Well ace ,the title of the article should have tipped you off:Women Don't Need The Dick!"

Posted by: steevy at August 28, 2017 08:55 PM (rmVvL)

75 Mrs. Jim Acosta
Mrs. Kate Acosta
Mrs. Kate Upton-Acosta
Mrs. Kate Acosta-Upton
SIGH...

Posted by: Kate Upton at August 28, 2017 08:56 PM (O5Q3r)

76 I saw that on instapundit. Read the article and read the instapundit comments.

What struck me is that this "woman" appears to never have had much "intercourse." Here's the thing, if she had she'd know the "bonzo button" (yikes) but I guess better than "little man in the canoe" does indeed lead to orgasm, which is essential, however, misses entirely that the "intercourse" is really the main show. One without the other is .............lacking.


So the idea that the orgasm--just the orgasm is the point, is sorta comic book. A good boinking is the best culminating or interspersed with orgasms is ideal.

It's like these crypto-lesbians think they're going to reprogram nature.

Idiots. Sad idiots.

Posted by: dagny at August 28, 2017 08:56 PM (wZuWv)

77
Ace:

Any comments from Ooti the Uterus?

Posted by: J.J. Sefton at August 28, 2017 08:56 PM (mbhDw)

78 So glad I'm and old married hag.

I can't even imagine being a young woman and having to wade through the pajama boys, antifa thugs, and other sundry douchebags.

Posted by: Jane D'oh at August 28, 2017 08:56 PM (PY9jH)

79 I feel like Ace missed an opportunity to include an illustrative link to busty lesbo porn here.

Posted by: Curmudgeonly Ex-Clerk at August 28, 2017 08:56 PM (H5knJ)

80 The female orgasm is a myth in the same vein as the "moon landing."

Posted by: Duke Lowell at August 28, 2017 08:56 PM (gC2IV)

81 So - are you telling me - there's a sure-fire way to stimulate a woman ? Like ... for lack of a better word ... an "Easy Button" ?

===

Master Card

Posted by: Mortimer - Finish Her! at August 28, 2017 08:56 PM (2wRtc)

82 OMG: CNN Discovers, A Bit Late, That Women Usually Need Clitoral Stimulation to Climax

Tomorrow CNN will discover that the earth is round.

Posted by: FenelonSpoke at August 28, 2017 08:56 PM (iVOAv)

83 Where the hell have you been?

Posted by: Jane D'oh at August 28, 2017 08:53 PM (PY9jH)


Sarcasm ... again ... not my strong suit. Not really "in my wheelhouse".

Three fuckin' paragraphs - not enough.

Posted by: ScoggDog at August 28, 2017 08:56 PM (cM6fa)

84 47 I blame the Ette's. *sigh*
Posted by: ScoggDog at August 28, 2017 08:51 PM (cM6fa)

All that & you didn't ask for volunteers you could search & destroy missions on? Geez. Pick it up people, uncle palp is waiting.

Posted by: bebe's boobs destroy at August 28, 2017 08:57 PM (hscyr)

85 This Clitoris thing sounds like something from "Twin Peaks: The Return".

I'm pretty sure the Fireman was talking about the Clitoris last week....maybe the Guy with the Green Glove...



Posted by: naturalfake at August 28, 2017 08:57 PM (9q7Dl)

86 More #FakeNews from Ace. Everybody knows that the prostrate gland is the Bozo Button.

Sheesh ...

Posted by: Shep Smith at August 28, 2017 08:57 PM (BiLU+)

87 73 bozo button.. why oh why?
Posted by: willow at August 28, 2017 08:55 PM (FKrah)


New version of the game Operation where another part of the anatomy makes the nose light up.

Send note to Milton Bradley.

PROFIT!

Posted by: J.J. Sefton at August 28, 2017 08:57 PM (mbhDw)

88 Another possibility is that she's suggesting that, if a woman MUST have sex with a man, she should leave him with blue balls.

But I'm inclined to think that people who work at CNN have as much knowledge of sex as the average 5 year old. Look at them. Who would want to do them (except Erin)?

Posted by: George LeS at August 28, 2017 08:57 PM (+TcCF)

89 42
38. Shut up. That's why.
---

Also... racist. And Nazi. Just because.

Posted by: shibumi at August 28, 2017 08:57 PM (aT+Bx)

90 Three fuckin' paragraphs - not enough.

Posted by: ScoggDog at August 28, 2017 08:56 PM (cM6fa)


lol

Posted by: Jane D'oh at August 28, 2017 08:57 PM (PY9jH)

91 In other breaking health news, CNN is first to report that miasma, or "bad air" does not cause disease.

Posted by: Insomniac at August 28, 2017 08:57 PM (0mRoj)

92 I posted this in response on the Instapundit link comments, so I'm shamelessly repeating myself:

I saw Clitoral Stimulation open for the Tubes in 78. They were pretty good, but they finished too quickly.

Posted by: Joseph Dickerson at August 28, 2017 08:57 PM (LDV7V)

93 This stupid Starbucks commercial touting their hiring veterans is THE Most offensive and ridiculous commercial I've ever seen.

It completely undermines whatever 'goodwill' starbucks was hoping to achieve by their 'outreach' program.


Horrible. Horrible.

Posted by: LASue at August 28, 2017 08:57 PM (hZ+us)

94
Master Card
Posted by: Mortimer - Finish Her! at August 28, 2017 08:56 PM (2wRtc

well it lasts longer..

Posted by: willow at August 28, 2017 08:58 PM (FKrah)

95
I've got a spot that gets me hot
But you ain't been to it.

Posted by: Dinah Moe Humm at August 28, 2017 08:58 PM (BO/km)

96 Love me smoking some bush, been claiming for decades Im a lesbian trapped in a pasty white boy body, way ahead ( and I mean that) of my time you bastards

Posted by: BILLY CLIT LICKER at August 28, 2017 08:58 PM (E0wMr)

97 The author: http://www.iankerner.com/

Posted by: G. Stilton at August 28, 2017 08:58 PM (4bKiB)

98 I'm waiting for a sexual tell-all from Queef.

"Tales From My Tub"

Posted by: Jane D'oh at August 28, 2017 08:58 PM (PY9jH)

99
Outercourse, or as it's been known for decades, "petting".

Posted by: IllTemperedCur at August 28, 2017 08:58 PM (iFZVz)

100 93 What do they say in the ad"We hire these wingnuts despite them being ticking time bombs of potential mass murder,aren't we great!"

Posted by: steevy at August 28, 2017 08:59 PM (rmVvL)

101 I blame the Ette's. It would have been a hell of thing if you shits would have talked about a "girl dick" or a "hard-on". That would have been a nice clue.
*sigh*
Posted by: ScoggDog at August 28, 2017 08:51 PM (cM6fa)

Lady Boner.

Posted by: Hairyback Guy at August 28, 2017 08:59 PM (5VlCp)

102 ..... since 1973
---------------------------------


Yeah, to me this just reads like a women's magazine article. They have about 25 articles - they just recycle them from magazine to magazine. You can read something in May of '84 and you'll see the same dang article, slightly updated, in September of '91.


This is not a new thing. They just recycle the same crap over and over. If you read 3 years of womens magazines, you'll have read everything they ever intend to write.

Posted by: grammie winger, Who'll stop the rain? at August 28, 2017 08:59 PM (lwiT4)

103 >>> Outercourse. Heh.

Man and I glad I am closer to the end than the beginning. Being young today would suck.

...

again, who is this for? HOW young?

Yeah, when we all started, we didn't know what we were doing. So, you know, you experiment. Sometimes you just ask, "Hey, am I doin' this even vaguely right?"

That system seemed to have worked.

That's why I just don't get these "how-to's" about insanely obvious things. Who's the target audience?

Seriously.

Posted by: ace at August 28, 2017 08:59 PM (8rNrN)

104 We would like to know more about this "clitoris".

Posted by: Sasquatch, Nessie and UFOs at August 28, 2017 09:00 PM (2wRtc)

105 Next on CNN Science Report: Phlogiston. Not a thing. Details after this commercial break.

Posted by: Insomniac at August 28, 2017 09:00 PM (0mRoj)

106 83 Where the hell have you been?

Posted by: Jane D'oh at August 28, 2017 08:53 PM (PY9jH)

----------------

Looks like I'll be guest hosting the ScoggDogg Factor for the foreseeable future.

Posted by: Duke Lowell at August 28, 2017 09:00 PM (gC2IV)

107 Bozo Button?

LMAO. Never heard that one.

Posted by: Country Boy - official AmbASSador to the CenTexMoMee at August 28, 2017 09:00 PM (8yzWS)

108 ace maybe the girl she has her eye on.

Posted by: willow at August 28, 2017 09:00 PM (FKrah)

109 Jesus. The world and the history of the world begins anew every morning when these people "wake" up.

I can't wait for the renewed debate on circumcision.

Posted by: Fritz at August 28, 2017 09:00 PM (eLttb)

110
I did not mind being a "cunning linguist" so long as the area was impeccably clean. Unfortunately the late 70s/early 80s was a time of hirsute pubic areas. Not the best textural sensation.

Posted by: J.J. Sefton at August 28, 2017 09:01 PM (mbhDw)

111
The Empire State Building has "gone dark" in solidarity with Texas.

Posted by: Bertram Cabot, Jr. at August 28, 2017 09:01 PM (IqV8l)

112 Women get off just looking at me. It's a gift.

So close, Jim. We run off.

Posted by: no good deed at August 28, 2017 09:01 PM (RozsV)

113 Many of us equate "sex" with "intercourse" and use those words
interchangeably. Yet highly satisfying sex doesn't have to be limited to
penetration -- and doesn't even have to include it at all.



Wait, in the 90's I was told by the President of the United States, explicitly, that oral sex was not "sex" and thus didn't qualify as sex. Now some "scientist" is reversing their decision?

Goddamn it libs. get your shit together man.

Posted by: Dr.Mr.Badman at August 28, 2017 09:01 PM (al2Cf)

114 next up, How to wash your hair in 3 easy steps

Posted by: willow at August 28, 2017 09:01 PM (FKrah)

115 98 I'm waiting for a sexual tell-all from Queef.

"Tales From My Tub"
Posted by: Jane D'oh at August 28, 2017 08:58 PM (PY9jH)

Does he prefer Kohler over Delta?

Posted by: J.J. Sefton at August 28, 2017 09:02 PM (mbhDw)

116 Spreading fear, uncertainty, and doubt about "normal" sex is the goal.

Posted by: San Franpsycho at August 28, 2017 09:02 PM (EZebt)

117 Seems like back in the dark ages, the boy would beg, "no, no, I won't touch there just right here on top."


So if bungling backseat boy knew these penis haters, must be jealous.

Posted by: dagny at August 28, 2017 09:02 PM (wZuWv)

118 Who's the target audience?

Probably, the target audience is those who never bothered to ask?

Posted by: CrotchetyOldJarhead at August 28, 2017 09:02 PM (iLJUQ)

119 94
Master Card
Posted by: Mortimer - Finish Her! at August 28, 2017 08:56 PM (2wRtc

well it lasts longer..
Posted by: willow at August 28, 2017 08:58 PM (FKrah)

Then once the credit limit's hit you're out the door.

Posted by: Insomniac at August 28, 2017 09:02 PM (0mRoj)

120 next up, How to wash your hair in 3 easy steps

Posted by: willow at August 28, 2017 09:01 PM (FKrah)
===============================

followed by: Which prom dress for your body type?

Posted by: grammie winger, Who'll stop the rain? at August 28, 2017 09:02 PM (lwiT4)

121 One weird trick.

Posted by: Bertram Cabot, Jr. at August 28, 2017 09:02 PM (IqV8l)

122 I did not mind being a "cunning linguist" so long as the area was impeccably clean. Unfortunately the late 70s/early 80s was a time of hirsute pubic areas. Not the best textural sensation.
Posted by: J.J. Sefton at August 28, 2017 09:01 PM (mbhDw)

=======

*Fist bump* Brother. All I ask for is a clean and well maintained workspace.

Posted by: GOULD at August 28, 2017 09:03 PM (OT5I1)

123
81 So - are you telling me - there's a sure-fire way to stimulate a woman ? Like ... for lack of a better word ... an "Easy Button" ?

===

Master Card

Posted by: Mortimer - Finish Her! at August 28, 2017 08:56 PM (2wRtc)







A Mercedes E-Class seems to work as well.

Posted by: IllTemperedCur at August 28, 2017 09:03 PM (iFZVz)

124 insomniac, mebbe.. punches you in the arm.

Posted by: willow at August 28, 2017 09:03 PM (FKrah)

125 Metacourse for intersectional non-cisgendered hominids!

Posted by: Very Undude at August 28, 2017 09:03 PM (2X7pN)

126 Four hours of begging!

Posted by: Just the Punchline at August 28, 2017 09:03 PM (LTHVh)

127 grammie, uh hmm, and the 3 pairs of shoes you will need next week.

Posted by: willow at August 28, 2017 09:04 PM (FKrah)

128 110 On the plus side,you got your flossing done.....

Posted by: steevy at August 28, 2017 09:04 PM (rmVvL)

129 So who's the audience here?

The 25% of Americans who are transgender? I'm going to assume the 25% who are gay know it, as do the 25% who are black.

Posted by: An Avid TV Viewer at August 28, 2017 09:04 PM (pszv/)

130 Did Zombie Helen Gurley Brown get a job at CNN?

Posted by: Minuteman at August 28, 2017 09:04 PM (uQ9oA)

131 Cosmo: "2,784, 113 Sex Moves Guaranteed to Light His Fire"

The Definitive 37 Volume Compendium

Posted by: Mortimer - Finish Her! at August 28, 2017 09:04 PM (2wRtc)

132 Well, lesbians 'groom' too.

Posted by: Mark Andrew Edwards at August 28, 2017 09:04 PM (xJa6I)

133 122
*Fist bump* Brother. All I ask for is a clean and well maintained workspace.
Posted by: GOULD at August 28, 2017 09:03 PM (OT5I1


My tongue got more of a workout than Martha Mitchell doing a guest shot on Dinah Shore.

Posted by: J.J. Sefton at August 28, 2017 09:05 PM (mbhDw)

134 A Mercedes E-Class seems to work as well.


S-class

Posted by: dagny at August 28, 2017 09:05 PM (wZuWv)

135 The target audience is the 6 year old moving beyond his popsicle.

Posted by: Ben Had at August 28, 2017 09:05 PM (mP9iy)

136 >>Yeah, when we all started, we didn't know what we were doing. So, you know, you experiment. Sometimes you just ask, "Hey, am I doin' this even vaguely right?"

When I was young, get this we didn't even have the internet! I could learn to build a nuclear reactor with a few google searches, I think there just might have been some information out there about the whole sex thing before these insightful piece.

I think they are just running out of crazy. Way too many monkeys with keyboards with way too little to say.

Posted by: JackStraw at August 28, 2017 09:05 PM (/tuJf)

137 25 Federal investigators working for Special Counsel Robert Mueller are keenly focused on President Donald Trumps role in crafting a response to a published article about a meeting between Russians and his son Donald Jr., three sources familiar with the matter told NBC News.

LOL...So now it is illegal for a father to talk to his son if he is a Republican? What a crock of shit...Next thing ya gonna tell me is that women have orgasms..( see how I connected this?)
Posted by: Nevergiveup at August 28, 2017 08:48 PM (SjImc)

------

Close the sh*t down!

Posted by: MAGA at August 28, 2017 09:05 PM (Tyk2V)

138 110 Not the best textural sensation.
Posted by: J.J. Sefton at August 28, 2017 09:01 PM (

Mmm hmm, come talk to us not directly after the full Brazilian, but after it starts to grow back in.

Posted by: bebe's boobs destroy at August 28, 2017 09:05 PM (hscyr)

139 OK watch the starbucks add...insulting and stupid..MY G-D they have no fuckin idea

Posted by: Nevergiveup at August 28, 2017 09:05 PM (SjImc)

140 122>>> gaaak! Gotta have landscape. Well maintained landscape.

Posted by: CrotchetyOldJarhead at August 28, 2017 09:06 PM (iLJUQ)

141 The Empire State Building has "gone dark" in solidarity with Texas.

Wow. How moving.

Posted by: t-bird at August 28, 2017 09:06 PM (pszv/)

142 I really didn't realize it was a "guy" writing this article -- the pose of childlike innocence about sexual matters seemed to be the mask more likely of a cynical female writer.

But this seems to be a 40-ish year old man claiming to not know about the Bozo Button.

amazeballs.

http://www.iankerner.com/

Posted by: ace at August 28, 2017 09:06 PM (8rNrN)

143 grammie, uh hmm, and the 3 pairs of shoes you will need next week.

Posted by: willow at August 28, 2017 09:04 PM (FKrah)
===================================

"Find the fragrance that matches your personality?" turn the page

Posted by: grammie winger, Who'll stop the rain? at August 28, 2017 09:06 PM (lwiT4)

144 135 The target audience is the 6 year old moving beyond his popsicle.
Posted by: Ben Had at August 28, 2017 09:05 PM (mP9iy)


"I wrote the book of love...."

- - H Reid.

Posted by: J.J. Sefton at August 28, 2017 09:06 PM (mbhDw)

145 One weird trick.



Posted by: Bertram Cabot, Jr. at August 28, 2017 09:02 PM (IqV8l)


Possible thread winner.

Posted by: Jane D'oh at August 28, 2017 09:06 PM (PY9jH)

146
Mmm hmm, come talk to us not directly after the full Brazilian, but after it starts to grow back in.
Posted by: bebe's boobs destroy at August 28, 2017 09:05 PM (hscyr)

^5

Posted by: willow at August 28, 2017 09:06 PM (FKrah)

147 I wonder if articles like this get filtered out by Internet parental controls? Probably not, which is the point.

Posted by: Widespread Pepe at August 28, 2017 09:07 PM (XFue2)

148 grammie how you should paint your home to flatter your eyes.

Posted by: willow at August 28, 2017 09:07 PM (FKrah)

149 138 110 Not the best textural sensation.
Posted by: J.J. Sefton at August 28, 2017 09:01 PM (

Mmm hmm, come talk to us not directly after the full Brazilian, but after it starts to grow back in.
Posted by: bebe's boobs destroy at August 28, 2017 09:05 PM (hscyr)


I'll take abrasive over swallowing a hair. I still have some from my college girlfriend that have not cleared my esophagus.

Posted by: J.J. Sefton at August 28, 2017 09:07 PM (mbhDw)

150 I'm guessing the author is a homo and finds girl parts "icky".

Posted by: steevy at August 28, 2017 09:08 PM (rmVvL)

151 But this seems to be a 40-ish year old man claiming to not know about the Bozo Button.

With decades of disappointed ladies in his wake.

Posted by: Grump928(C) Person of Penis at August 28, 2017 09:08 PM (LTHVh)

152 Well, he's not an unattractive man-but a woman would have to be a leftist to want to have any kind of "relationship' with him.
Posted by: FenelonSpoke at August 28, 2017 08:54 PM (iVOAv)

How YOU doin'?

Posted by: Jim "Preacherman" Acosta at August 28, 2017 09:08 PM (8yzWS)

153 That's why I just don't get these "how-to's" about insanely obvious things. Who's the target audience?

------

Do children watch CNN. Could this have possibly been in some CNN school room set up?

Posted by: MAGA at August 28, 2017 09:08 PM (Tyk2V)

154 Double Penetration dies in the dark.

Posted by: the national laughingstock at August 28, 2017 09:08 PM (mJ8mX)

155 But this seems to be a 40-ish year old man claiming to not know about the Bozo Button.



Ah, so gay either closeted or not.

Posted by: dagny at August 28, 2017 09:09 PM (wZuWv)

156 Wow, so foreplay and heavy petting are "outercourse" now, are they? Well I'll be fucked upside-down six ways from Sunday (but non-penetratively).

Posted by: David Gillies at August 28, 2017 09:09 PM (tjHrt)

157 grammie how you should paint your home to flatter your eyes.

Posted by: willow at August 28, 2017 09:07 PM (FKrah)
==================================

White - the NEW color of the season!

Posted by: grammie winger, Who'll stop the rain? at August 28, 2017 09:09 PM (lwiT4)

158 29:it all makes sense now-- all the peacocking he does. He's trying to make himself attractive to younger, stupider members of #TheResistance.

Posted by: ace



The Joss Wheedon gambit! Brilliant!

Posted by: Puddleglum at August 28, 2017 09:09 PM (pY+s4)

159 if the clitoris were so important, wouldn't Amy Schumer have done a special about it?

"I think that I will never see
my g-spot looking back at me..."

Posted by: mallfly the expert at August 28, 2017 09:09 PM (ILitO)

160 Don't they have lasers to nip pubs in the bud for good?

Posted by: Widespread Pepe at August 28, 2017 09:09 PM (XFue2)

161 154 Double Penetration dies in the dark.
Posted by: the national laughingstock at August 28, 2017 09:08 PM (mJ8mX)


Double Penetration OCCURS in the dark. In the end.

Posted by: J.J. Sefton at August 28, 2017 09:09 PM (mbhDw)

162 Dear Penthouse....


Posted by: Jim "Jim" Acosta at August 28, 2017 09:09 PM (PY9jH)

163 Many of us equate "sex" with "intercourse" and use those words interchangeably. Yet highly satisfying sex doesn't have to be limited to penetration -- and doesn't even have to include it at all.


Now, as I read this, I began to wonder: "Who is this written for?"


Bill Clinton.

I don't know if this writer is sexually-inexperienced person herself or just pretending to be one to relate to a target audience.

She's frigid.

Posted by: ThePrimordialOrderedPair at August 28, 2017 09:09 PM (rZ+mb)

164 Sharpton Leads Ministers March to Protest Trump: This Nation Is in Moral Trouble

Weasel Zippers

A) He is no Minister
B) Talk about the pot calling the kettle black
C) Sharpton is to morals, like Antifa is to non violent
D) Tawana Brawley

Posted by: Nevergiveup at August 28, 2017 09:09 PM (SjImc)

165 It's like these guys never had a sister or a cousin.

Wait ... did I say that out loud?

Posted by: Grump928(C) Person of Penis at August 28, 2017 09:09 PM (LTHVh)

166
Winona had a big brown beaver
She stroked it all the time
She pricked her finger
It occurred to her
She might have a porcupine

Posted by: Ottercourse love at August 28, 2017 09:09 PM (/zwDg)

167 widespread pete, well as some schools find it necessary to expose kinder kids to transgenderism ..

like a small child knows anything.

guess we need to keep them on track fo rthe brave new world

Posted by: willow at August 28, 2017 09:09 PM (FKrah)

168 If one of these magazines ever figures out how to tell these kids to get a six-pack of beer, rent a cheap motel room for the night, and shower up with soap as foreplay ...

... damn, there'll be no end to the damage.

Posted by: ScoggDog at August 28, 2017 09:10 PM (cM6fa)

169 Double Penetration OCCURS in the dark. In the end.


ISWYDT

Posted by: Grump928(C) Person of Penis at August 28, 2017 09:10 PM (LTHVh)

170 >>.150 I'm guessing the author is a homo and finds girl parts "icky".
Posted by: steevy

I didn't say that. You said that.

I just thought it.

Posted by: ace at August 28, 2017 09:10 PM (8rNrN)

171
134 A Mercedes E-Class seems to work as well.


S-class

Posted by: dagny at August 28, 2017 09:05 PM (wZuWv)







I stand corrected.

Personally, I'm partial to the 600. Or as Larry Correia referred to it in one of his books, the "ultimate dictator dope ride".

Posted by: IllTemperedCur at August 28, 2017 09:10 PM (iFZVz)

172 "CNN Discovers, A Bit Late, That Women Usually Need Clitoral Stimulation to Climax"

In fairness, there are probably CNN contributors who have any firsthand (?) experience in this connection.

Except for the female ones, of course.

Posted by: Deplorable Jay Guevara at August 28, 2017 09:10 PM (SRKgf)

173 165 It's like these guys never had a sister or a cousin.

Wait ... did I say that out loud?
Posted by: Grump928(C) Person of Penis at August 28, 2017 09:09 PM (LTHVh)


"Walk this way!"

Posted by: J.J. Sefton at August 28, 2017 09:10 PM (mbhDw)

174 My tongue got more of a workout than Martha Mitchell doing a guest shot on Dinah Shore.
Posted by: J.J. Sefton at August 28, 2017 09:05 PM (mbhDw)

=======

I had a High School girlfriend who was not shy about telling me how to do what she wanted and liked. Catholic school girl too.

God bless her, that knowledge has served me well in my adult life. I was even able to get her to trim the hedge when this was in no way fashionable in the very early 80s.

Posted by: GOULD at August 28, 2017 09:11 PM (OT5I1)

175 J.J. That's what Drano is for.

Posted by: Ben Had at August 28, 2017 09:11 PM (mP9iy)

176 171. Oh, hell yeah! Ya want to ride to and from your armoured train in one of those!

Posted by: Your Decidedly Devious Uncle Palpatine. All Honor & Glory to Kekistan! at August 28, 2017 09:11 PM (fA1SL)

177 This flies in the face of the stereotype of intercourse as the be-all and end-all of sexual activity

For closers, it is. The rest are just practice sparring partners.

Posted by: ThePrimordialOrderedPair at August 28, 2017 09:11 PM (rZ+mb)

178

trump
trump
trump

deport
deport
deport

Posted by: original jake at August 28, 2017 09:11 PM (Xi8iX)

179 I'm not bragging or anything but I'm great in the sack and can satisfy my wife without hitting the button.

Posted by: MAGA at August 28, 2017 09:11 PM (Tyk2V)

180 This flies in the face of the stereotype of intercourse as the be-all and end-all of sexual activity -- and suggests that couples should explore the whole range of pleasurable options for achieving climax.

Remember, this is a "news article." She doesn't know where this Patriarchal Idea that actual (procreative) sex is the "be-all-end-all" of sexual activity.


She's advocating blow jobs. God love her.

Posted by: Deplorable Jay Guevara at August 28, 2017 09:11 PM (SRKgf)

181 A) He is no Minister
====================


Many years ago I listened to a sermon given by Sharpton. Much to my amazement, he did not suck. I was shocked. I guess sometimes he can pull himself together when he has to.

Posted by: grammie winger, Who'll stop the rain? at August 28, 2017 09:12 PM (lwiT4)

182 I challenge any guy here to get a Brazilian. ONE TIME. And enjoy the new growth.

Posted by: Jim at August 28, 2017 09:12 PM (PY9jH)

183 >>>152 Well, he's not an unattractive man-but a woman would have to be a leftist to want to have any kind of "relationship' with him.
Posted by: FenelonSpoke at August 28, 2017 08:54 PM (iVOAv)

How YOU doin'?
Posted by: Jim "Preacherman" Acosta

This is the finger I write my snarky chyrons with.

Posted by: Jim "I Learned it All From Keith Olbermann" Acosta at August 28, 2017 09:12 PM (8rNrN)

184 Lol. Jim Acosta sock fail.

Posted by: Jane D'oh at August 28, 2017 09:12 PM (PY9jH)

185 149 I'll take abrasive over swallowing a hair. I still have some from my college girlfriend that have not cleared my esophagus.
Posted by: J.J. Sefton at August 28, 2017 09:07 PM (

No, no. You misunderstand. YOU go get the Brazilian. Then get back to us about a week after it starts growing back. I bet you'll "enjoy" that even more than having the hair ripped off the underside of your dangly bits with hot wax.

I'm all for grooming, but let's be reasonable here,

Posted by: bebe's boobs destroy at August 28, 2017 09:12 PM (hscyr)

186 My favorite line is "sex is not a natural act." Okay, then.

Posted by: no good deed at August 28, 2017 09:12 PM (RozsV)

187 Mulva?

Posted by: Mortimer - Finish Her! at August 28, 2017 09:13 PM (2wRtc)

188 In Ian's defense: he's a sex therapist. Maybe he always acts as though the clit had just been discovered, in order to relate to sexually-inexperienced readers/clients.

Posted by: G. Stilton at August 28, 2017 09:13 PM (4bKiB)

189
Just get me wasted
An' you're half-way there
'Cause if my mind's tore up,
Then my body don't care

Posted by: Grump928(C) Person of Penis at August 28, 2017 09:13 PM (LTHVh)

190
No, no. You misunderstand. YOU go get the
Brazilian. Then get back to us about a week after it starts growing
back. I bet you'll "enjoy" that even more than having the hair ripped
off the underside of your dangly bits with hot wax.



I'm all for grooming, but let's be reasonable here,

Posted by: bebe's boobs destroy at August 28, 2017 09:12 PM (hscyr)


A million times this.

Posted by: Jane D'oh at August 28, 2017 09:13 PM (PY9jH)

191 Brooke Baldwin looks like a wildcat who enjoys the outer course and intercouse with the penis.

Posted by: Widespread Pepe at August 28, 2017 09:13 PM (XFue2)

192 has anyone asked goto girl Lena Dunham about this?

I call it my bozo doorknob...
Posted by: Lena Dunham at August 28, 2017 08:52 PM (O5Q3r)

It's triggered by ding-dongs, but not in a good way.

Posted by: JuJuBee at August 28, 2017 09:13 PM (2NqXo)

193 Was taught at 14 by a 16 yr old girl.

Posted by: Eromero at August 28, 2017 09:13 PM (zLDYs)

194 162 Dear Penthouse....


Posted by: Jim "Jim" Acosta at August 28, 2017 09:09 PM (PY9jH)


.... I am writing because this ALWAYS happens to me, since I am a sexual dynamo with the physique of a Greek g-d. Anyway, it all started when I was admiring myself in the mirror. At first I was scared to ask reflection out on a date but thought, hey, with my gorgeous good looks, charm and macho vibe, I can't lose. So, I sidled up to the glass, and then....

Posted by: J.J. Sefton at August 28, 2017 09:13 PM (mbhDw)

195 171. Guess those old G4's are reserved for parades.

Posted by: Your Decidedly Devious Uncle Palpatine. All Honor & Glory to Kekistan! at August 28, 2017 09:14 PM (fA1SL)

196 Does riding on a pig increase clitoral stimulation?

Asking for a friend.

Posted by: Adirondack Patriot at August 28, 2017 09:14 PM (arhmY)

197 hahahaha


"Clitoris"


hahahahahaha

Posted by: Mortimer - Finish Her! at August 28, 2017 09:14 PM (2wRtc)

198 http://www.iankerner.com/

He's a "sex counselor."

http://thechart.blogs.cnn.com/category/ian-kerner-ph-d-sex-counselor/

Posted by: shibumi at August 28, 2017 09:15 PM (aT+Bx)

199 I actually see this as all a part of the great de-sexualization of America campaign by the left. They don't even want us to have genders anymore. And what is this basic reason for having two, and there are only two, genders? Procreation through sex.

But if society becomes as androgynous as the left wants it to be how do people have sex? By realizing that sex doesn't mean intercourse, it means anything but by anyone or anyones who want to get some without intercourse.

It's a really strange and barren world the left craves. I really have no idea what they see in it.

Posted by: JackStraw at August 28, 2017 09:15 PM (/tuJf)

200 I'm all for grooming, but let's be reasonable here,
Posted by: bebe's boobs destroy at August 28, 2017 09:12 PM (hscyr)


As a married personal groomer ...

... a small set of scissors is all that's needed. Honestly, nothing larger than a set of nose-hair clippers.

And patience. And time. And trust. And a towel.

Posted by: ScoggDog at August 28, 2017 09:15 PM (cM6fa)

201 My favorite line is "sex is not a natural act." Okay, then.

So, only parazoa count as natural in the animal kingdom. The Cambrian Explosion was a mistake

Posted by: boulder terlit hobo at August 28, 2017 09:15 PM (6FqZa)

202
Q: What's the useless stuff inside a TV called"

A: CNN

Posted by: J.J. Sefton at August 28, 2017 09:15 PM (mbhDw)

203 This term "outercourse" refers to sex that isn't intercourse and doesn't involve penetration.

Actually, the term is "off-course".

Posted by: ThePrimordialOrderedPair at August 28, 2017 09:15 PM (rZ+mb)

204 This one time at 4-H camp....

Posted by: Keith Olbermann at August 28, 2017 09:15 PM (PY9jH)

205 Seriously, it's a bit pedo to want a woman with completely bare nethers, Trimmed sure, but seriously.

Posted by: dagny at August 28, 2017 09:15 PM (wZuWv)

206
Sharpton Leads Ministers March to Protest Trump: This Nation Is in Moral Trouble

Weasel Zippers

A) He is no Minister
B) Talk about the pot calling the kettle black
C) Sharpton is to morals, like Antifa is to non violent
D) Tawana Brawley
Posted by: Nevergiveup at August 28, 2017 09:09 PM


E) Freddy's Fashion Mart

Posted by: Bertram Cabot, Jr. at August 28, 2017 09:16 PM (IqV8l)

207 interesting sex intrigue distractions .. as Mueller deep dives on Trump to make sure the global mafia continues unabated.

How will history write the destruction of US/global adventures in liberty? (real history on some other planet I mean, because the Orwellian mafia history will make the Rosenstein/Mueller mob conquest of our IC community look saintly)

I just need another 20 years and will be fine ... but if you don't fight, your own fault that today's kids suffer under the global cabal destruction of any semblance of a free society, where there is any chance of hope.

Even superhero Matt Damon seems to think so.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dhTZF-F7oG4

Posted by: illiniwek at August 28, 2017 09:16 PM (veVl1)

208 I think we're turning Japanese.

Posted by: Grump928(C) Person of Penis at August 28, 2017 09:16 PM (LTHVh)

209 196 Does riding on a pig increase clitoral stimulation?

Asking for a friend.
Posted by: Adirondack Patriot at August 28, 2017 09:14 PM (arhmY)


The spin cycle on the washing machine, or so I'm told, is rather effective in that regard.

Posted by: J.J. Sefton at August 28, 2017 09:16 PM (mbhDw)

210 Seems like back in the day adults referred to this as "heavy petting" but we boys just called it "third base."

Posted by: Farmer Bob at August 28, 2017 09:16 PM (sqpGi)

211 Isn't this pretty obvious?

Consider corresponding structures. Penis ~ clitoris. Vulva ~ scrotum. How many guys could get off solely from someone rubbing their scrotes?

(I obviously don't know about the internal sensitivity of the vagina per se, but if the structural homology holds, it'd be like the male urethra ... not a promising prospect. Also, if the vagina were highly sensitive, childbirth would be ... problematic.)

Posted by: Deplorable Jay Guevara at August 28, 2017 09:17 PM (SRKgf)

212

so is this now about pubes?

Posted by: original jake at August 28, 2017 09:17 PM (Xi8iX)

213 206
Sharpton Leads Ministers March to Protest Trump: This Nation Is in Moral Trouble

Weasel Zippers

A) He is no Minister
B) Talk about the pot calling the kettle black
C) Sharpton is to morals, like Antifa is to non violent
D) Tawana Brawley
Posted by: Nevergiveup at August 28, 2017 09:09 PM

E) Freddy's Fashion Mart
Posted by: Bertram Cabot, Jr. at August 28, 2017 09:16 PM (IqV8l)


F) Crown Heights, Yankel Rosenbaum.

Posted by: J.J. Sefton at August 28, 2017 09:17 PM (mbhDw)

214 There is no clitoris.


There is only Zuul.

Posted by: Mortimer - Finish Her! at August 28, 2017 09:17 PM (2wRtc)

215 203: I thought it was called dry humping.

Posted by: LASue at August 28, 2017 09:17 PM (hZ+us)

216 Wish I had something pithy et tres drole mais ... Methinks CNN believes there are Republicans and/or Trump supporters who drop by and read crap on CNN and the CNN types honestly believe these people don't know about the clitoris and good sex. The guy prob'ly believes they will read it, try it, and say, "Yee-haw! I'm a lee-burl now!"

Posted by: Pedro at August 28, 2017 09:17 PM (otGLV)

217 The Clitoral News Network.

Posted by: geoffb5 at August 28, 2017 09:17 PM (zOpu5)

218 200 I'm all for grooming, but let's be reasonable here,
Posted by: bebe's boobs destroy at August 28, 2017 09:12 PM (hscyr)

As a married personal groomer ...

... a small set of scissors is all that's needed. Honestly, nothing larger than a set of nose-hair clippers.

And patience. And time. And trust. And a towel.
Posted by: ScoggDog at August 28, 2017 09:15 PM (cM6fa)

Straight razor and a steady hand.

Posted by: Burnt Toast at August 28, 2017 09:17 PM (IWbvi)

219 The spin cycle on the washing machine, or so I'm told, is rather effective in that regard.

Misalign the sneakers.

Posted by: Grump928(C) Person of Penis at August 28, 2017 09:17 PM (LTHVh)

220 The spin cycle on the washing machine, or so I'm told, is rather effective in that regard.
Posted by: J.J. Sefton at August 28, 2017 09:16 PM (mbhDw)


I've heard motorcycles are ... effective.

Posted by: Deplorable Jay Guevara at August 28, 2017 09:17 PM (SRKgf)

221 "Home Alone" the only way to not get a bad review.

Posted by: Ben Had at August 28, 2017 09:18 PM (mP9iy)

222 Now that white women banging 13-17 year old boys is normalized, now teh Marxists move on to sexualizing little girls for white women to have outercourse with.

Posted by: Widespread Pepe at August 28, 2017 09:18 PM (XFue2)

223 219 The spin cycle on the washing machine, or so I'm told, is rather effective in that regard.

Misalign the sneakers.
Posted by: Grump928(C) Person of Penis at August 28, 2017 09:17 PM (LTHVh)


The old phase shifter trick.

Posted by: J.J. Sefton at August 28, 2017 09:19 PM (mbhDw)

224 I really think so.

Posted by: Grump928(C) Person of Penis at August 28, 2017 09:19 PM (LTHVh)

225 To my last breath, I will always call a woman's pubic hair in my nose a "good day ".

Posted by: Country Boy - official AmbASSador to the CenTexMoMee at August 28, 2017 09:19 PM (D2vc1)

226 It's a pretty common thing that if penetrative sex fails to do the job, a man will attempt, or a woman will suggest, hitting the Bozo Button for a bit.

But, I'm done. Go make me a sammich. That'll do it.

Posted by: ThePrimordialOrderedPair at August 28, 2017 09:19 PM (rZ+mb)

227 How can they be such pussies and still not know this?

Posted by: Moron Robbie - SJWs Destroyed My Garden Because I Grew Heritage Tomatoes at August 28, 2017 09:19 PM (q6r6w)

228 Straight razor and a steady hand.
Posted by: Burnt Toast at August 28, 2017 09:17 PM (IWbvi)


No damn way. Not me.

You do what you do ... but those snippy scissors are enough for me. Which - I think - is part of the deal.

Posted by: ScoggDog at August 28, 2017 09:19 PM (cM6fa)

229 My favorite line is "sex is not a natural act." Okay, then.


Apart from buttsechs, of course. Which is perfectly natural, normal, and healthy, as any AIDS clinic can tell you.

Posted by: Deplorable Jay Guevara at August 28, 2017 09:19 PM (SRKgf)

230 His bio says that he has a wife and two sons, Ace.

Posted by: FenelonSpoke at August 28, 2017 09:20 PM (iVOAv)

231 179 I'm not bragging or anything but I'm great in the sack and can satisfy my wife without hitting the button.

Posted by: MAGA at August 28, 2017 09:11 PM (Tyk2V)

Mute, volume or channel up/down?

Posted by: Tami at August 28, 2017 09:20 PM (Enq6K)

232
It's a really strange and barren world the left craves. I really have no idea what they see in it.Posted by: JackStraw at August 28, 2017 09:15 PM (/tuJf)


To be serious for a moment, I think they are trying for androgyny. It's part of cultural marxism because it aids in destroying the family.
The soviet puppets in post-war poland purposefully scheduled husband and wife in opposite shifts to help break down the family. It's imperative for the marxists to destroy normal mother/father/children family relationships since that is the building block of society. They want to "build" society from the ground up on there terms.

Posted by: dagny at August 28, 2017 09:20 PM (wZuWv)

233 The Paolo, he only needs to be in the same room.

Posted by: Bruce at August 28, 2017 09:20 PM (8ikIW)

234 So I guess this means that Bill Clinton DID have sexual relations with that woman, Monica Lewinski?

Posted by: Spec at August 28, 2017 09:20 PM (EC3r0)

235 His bio says that he has a wife and two sons, Ace.

Do they look like him?

Posted by: Grump928(C) Person of Penis at August 28, 2017 09:20 PM (LTHVh)

236 200 ... a small set of scissors is all that's needed. Honestly, nothing larger than a set of nose-hair clippers.
Posted by: ScoggDog at August 28, 2017 09:15 PM (cM6fa)

Nah, wax or lasers are needed to completely clean up the bikini line. And since the lasers don't work on us gingers, we're stuck with waxing. Ow ow ow

Posted by: bebe's boobs destroy at August 28, 2017 09:20 PM (hscyr)

237 Does riding on a pig increase clitoral stimulation?

I've been told riding the pillion seat on the hog does.

Posted by: CrotchetyOldJarhead at August 28, 2017 09:20 PM (iLJUQ)

238 HOW DARE YOU, SIR!! BOZO BUTTON IS MY CATS NAME!!!
GOOD DAY, SIR!!

Posted by: Keith Olberman at August 28, 2017 09:21 PM (O5Q3r)

239 His bio says that he has a wife and two sons, Ace.

Posted by: FenelonSpoke at August 28, 2017 09:20 PM (iVOAv)


10:1 one of the sons will be "transitioning" within 5 years.

Posted by: ThePrimordialOrderedPair at August 28, 2017 09:21 PM (rZ+mb)

240 231 179 I'm not bragging or anything but I'm great in the sack and can satisfy my wife without hitting the button.

Posted by: MAGA at August 28, 2017 09:11 PM (Tyk2V)

Mute, volume or channel up/down?
Posted by: Tami at August 28, 2017 09:20 PM (Enq6K)

----

Fast forward

Posted by: MAGA at August 28, 2017 09:21 PM (Tyk2V)

241 reads like a women's studies text synopsis. this journalist went from women's studies to cnn and is revealing her knowledge of the world.

same is true of political reporters who go from jurno school to covering a political campaign, their entire knowledge and experience of the world from a b.a. degree and then last presidential campaign.

and these people are defining the world to us.

Posted by: musical jolly chimp at August 28, 2017 09:21 PM (AxFdW)

242 The Bozo button is for closers.

Posted by: Alec "Brazilian" Baldwin at August 28, 2017 09:21 PM (S6Pax)

243 and these people are defining the world to us.

only if we are stuck at the airport.

Posted by: Grump928(C) Person of Penis at August 28, 2017 09:22 PM (LTHVh)

244 This is one of Biden's better op-eds.

Posted by: The Gipper Lives at August 28, 2017 09:22 PM (Ndje9)

245 "It doesn't seem to be written for adult women or even sexually experienced teenaged girls, who I'm pretty sure know that the clitoris is a very important thing in female climaxes. "

So, the whole piece is islamophobic, then.

Posted by: BeckoningChasm at August 28, 2017 09:22 PM (l9m7l)

246 if penetrative sex fails to do the job

--

BTW, I initially saw that as "pejorative." I'm an old man, so at first I just assumed it was some modern japanese/pajama boy thing that I would laugh at.

Posted by: Moron Robbie - SJWs Destroyed My Garden Because I Grew Heritage Tomatoes at August 28, 2017 09:22 PM (q6r6w)

247 OT: one movie that hasn't got anybody, male or female, moist in the knickers: Adam Wingard's "Death Note" live-action.

So Whinegard is on Twitter now telling us that we've all pre-judged his bullshit movie because we're "weebs" and "butt hurt fan boys". Because demanding that a remake of a pre-existent property be, somehow, an improvement on what someone else has already done - that's, like, white privilege or some shit.

Posted by: boulder terlit hobo at August 28, 2017 09:22 PM (6FqZa)

248

Art Bell had a whole show on the "clitoris".


Good stuff , ace.

Posted by: Mortimer - Finish Her! at August 28, 2017 09:22 PM (2wRtc)

249 I'm not bragging or anything but I'm great in the sack and can satisfy my wife without hitting the button.

Yeah, I don't even have to be in the sack...Just hand my wife a C-note and she's satisfied

Posted by: Nevergiveup at August 28, 2017 09:22 PM (SjImc)

250 225 To my last breath, I will always call a woman's pubic hair in my nose a "good day ".
Posted by: Country Boy - official AmbASSador to the CenTexMoMee at August 28, 2017 09:19 PM (D2vc1)

Hey there big boy.

Posted by: Lena Dunham at August 28, 2017 09:22 PM (0mRoj)

251
Reminds me of a joke:

90-year-old Jewish woman is being readied for a hysterectomy, but she refuses to let the nurse shave her hoo-hoo before the operation.

"No, no! Only mein Morris can touch me there!"

They're begging with her to let the nurse, but she insists.

"No, no! Only mein Morris can touch me there!"

So, out of desperation, they call the husband, 93-year old Morris in and hand him the razor. He lifts the gown, looks left, looks right, trying to get an angle and then, moving lips all the way over to one side of his face, mutters,

"Sadie! Make like this!"

Posted by: J.J. Sefton at August 28, 2017 09:23 PM (mbhDw)

252 C'mon, no mention yet of "rosebud?"

It's like I hardly know you people any more.

Posted by: Deplorable Jay Guevara at August 28, 2017 09:23 PM (SRKgf)

253 His bio says that he has a wife and two sons, Ace.

Well, his wife has the two sons...

Posted by: boulder terlit hobo at August 28, 2017 09:23 PM (6FqZa)

254 Ya know, obnoxious '80s comic Andrew Dice Clay solved this problem for all of us.


Lick. The. Alphabet.

I had great success in my younger days following this advice.

Posted by: The mass media can EABOD. at August 28, 2017 09:23 PM (CEU4j)

255 I'm not bragging or anything but I'm great in the sack and can satisfy my wife without hitting the button.

Posted by: MAGA at August 28, 2017 09:11 PM (Tyk2V)

--

Do y'all have big plans for your first wedding anniversary?

Posted by: Moron Robbie - SJWs Destroyed My Garden Because I Grew Heritage Tomatoes at August 28, 2017 09:23 PM (q6r6w)

256 Look, I'm not going to insinuate that the author of that column was gay, but it wouldn't surprise me one bit if he had seen a few up close, if you get my drift."Smoked, but did not inhale." if you will.

Posted by: _Jaybee_ at August 28, 2017 09:23 PM (aCjo+)

257 This all reminds me of an old joke -

How do you tell if a woman is orgasming?

... .... ...

Who gives a shit.



Besides, the fem-nazis have already declared that a guy giving a woman an orgasm is the worst sort of sexist abuse.

Posted by: ThePrimordialOrderedPair at August 28, 2017 09:23 PM (rZ+mb)

258 I actually see this as all a part of the great de-sexualization of
America campaign by the left. They don't even want us to have genders
anymore. And what is this basic reason for having two, and there are
only two, genders? Procreation through sex.

--

Yeah, I see something a bit different.

It seems to me that this is all about the complete normalization of deviant behavior-- in this case, making sex with other girls OK. Deviant behavior means fewer white kids and fewer stable families.

Also... I do agree that this targeted to children. Why? The next agenda on the list is normalizing pedophilia. "Sex is natural for kids, look, the girls and boys play with each other all the time. So really, it's not a problem if adults do it with them. It's natural and adults can make sure they don't hurt themselves when they're experimenting."

Posted by: shibumi at August 28, 2017 09:24 PM (aT+Bx)

259 >>Art Bell had a whole show on the "clitoris".

Big deal. I've got decades of research and field study.

Posted by: JackStraw at August 28, 2017 09:24 PM (/tuJf)

260 Wasn't there an article a while back lambasting men for enjoying it when they give their ladies orgasms? It's like these people on the left have no flipping clue what sex is like. And they're often promiscuous, too, so you'd think they would get it. I waited for marriage and I don't have these ridiculous ideas.

Posted by: Mrs. Peel at August 28, 2017 09:24 PM (JPRju)

261 I have some vague recollections of this "sex" thing...

Posted by: Insomniac at August 28, 2017 09:24 PM (0mRoj)

262 Clinton, "I did not have sexual relations with that woman ..."

Need I say more ?

Posted by: Islamic Rage Boy at August 28, 2017 09:24 PM (0+WqX)

263 I've been told riding the pillion seat on the hog does.
Posted by: CrotchetyOldJarhead at August 28, 2017 09:20 PM (iLJUQ)

========

Yeah, my Ex told me that a one hour cruise on a Fat Boy usually resulted in multiples. Early in the marriage, we went at it in some interesting places.

Posted by: GOULD at August 28, 2017 09:24 PM (OT5I1)

264 Ironically, two keys above Middle C on the piano.

Wouldn't that be the D-Spot? Or the E-Spot if you're only counting white keys. Which would make you a racisty racist.

Posted by: Bob the Bilderberg at August 28, 2017 09:24 PM (7oUUT)

265 Condom News Network

Posted by: Islamic Rage Boy at August 28, 2017 09:25 PM (0+WqX)

266 Wasn't there an article a while back lambasting men for enjoying it when they give their ladies orgasms?


Giving your woman an orgasm is just more win for the Patriarchy.

Posted by: Grump928(C) PoC at August 28, 2017 09:25 PM (LTHVh)

267 my good looking dumb friend that married a very obese very smart woman explained it all.

you just need something to rub against.

status: TRUE

so why all the culture and religious rules about family, commitments, adultery, raising a brood ... and so on?

Well gee, compare all cultures, compare and contrast ... decide if family matters, or if only good drugs and good sex matters ... "if it feels good do it". Such incredible spiritual insight.

Is there any more to life/society/spirituality -- than "just need something to rub against"? The left says no, other than -- something good to eat, some Trump supporter to beat.

Posted by: illiniwek at August 28, 2017 09:25 PM (veVl1)

268 Hey there big boy.
Posted by: Lena Dunham at August 28, 2017 09:22 PM (0mRoj)


If you'd just try a bit ... you could be cute.

Posted by: ScoggDog at August 28, 2017 09:26 PM (cM6fa)

269 253 His bio says that he has a wife and two sons, Ace.

Well, his wife has the two sons...
Posted by: boulder terlit hobo at August 28, 2017 09:23 PM (6FqZa)



A friend of mine had DNA analysis performed on himself, his wife, and ... their two kids.

When he told me this, I nodded, but thought "Hmmm?"

Posted by: Deplorable Jay Guevara at August 28, 2017 09:26 PM (SRKgf)

270 260 Wasn't there an article a while back lambasting men for enjoying it when they give their ladies orgasms? It's like these people on the left have no flipping clue what sex is like. And they're often promiscuous, too, so you'd think they would get it. I waited for marriage and I don't have these ridiculous ideas.
Posted by: Mrs. Peel at August 28, 2017 09:24 PM (JPRju)


A purely clinical observation, but women in Japanese porn seem to be making sounds and expressions that appear as if they are in agony.

And let's face it; the typical Yamamoto ain't exactly John C. Holmes, IYKWIM, so I don't get the "geschrei."

Posted by: J.J. Sefton at August 28, 2017 09:26 PM (mbhDw)

271 Early in the marriage, we went at it in some interesting places.

I generally went for the vagina place.

Posted by: Grump928(C) PoC at August 28, 2017 09:26 PM (LTHVh)

272 "Clitoris"

The thing the pupa lives in before it becomes a butterfly.

Posted by: Mortimer - Finish Her! at August 28, 2017 09:26 PM (2wRtc)

273 I've heard motorcycles are ... effective.
Posted by: Deplorable Jay Guevara at August 28, 2017 09:17 PM (SRKgf)


...dad?

Posted by: Colorado Alex In Exile at August 28, 2017 09:26 PM (Tnhbr)

274 So is outer course rape?

Teh Marxists may have boxed themselves in.

Posted by: Widespread Pepe at August 28, 2017 09:27 PM (XFue2)

275 Posted by: Moron Robbie - SJWs Destroyed My Garden Because I Grew Heritage Tomatoes at August 28, 2017 09:22 PM (q6r6w)

Pejorative sex sounds like some whiny woman saying in a nasally tone, "You're not doing it right. What's wrong with you??!! and a man who constantly says "I've had better"

Posted by: FenelonSpoke at August 28, 2017 09:27 PM (iVOAv)

276 I thought at first it was another Game of Thrones, fantasy thread.

Posted by: Village Idiot's Apprentice at August 28, 2017 09:27 PM (J+eG2)

277 Teh Marxists may have boxed themselves in.


Phrasing!

Posted by: Grump928(C) PoC at August 28, 2017 09:27 PM (LTHVh)

278 A friend of mine had DNA analysis performed on himself, his wife, and ... their two kids.

When he told me this, I nodded, but thought "Hmmm?"
Posted by: Deplorable Jay Guevara at August 28, 2017 09:26 PM (SRKgf)

There are estimates that up to 30% of married men are raising children that aren't theirs. And no, I don't mean adoption.

Posted by: Insomniac at August 28, 2017 09:28 PM (0mRoj)

279 274 So is outer course rape?

Teh Marxists may have boxed themselves in.
Posted by: Widespread Pepe at August 28, 2017 09:27 PM (XFue2)


Or boxed out.

Posted by: J.J. Sefton at August 28, 2017 09:28 PM (mbhDw)

280 Actually I believe this article speaks to its core audience, liberals. I'm 100% certain those people are so sexually frustrated that is why they act the way they do. I mean just look at their "normal" behavior: violent attacks, can't tell men from women, excessive piercings and body "art".

Completely dysfunctional.

Posted by: MAGA at August 28, 2017 09:28 PM (Tyk2V)

281 it's like these people on the left have no flipping clue what sex is like. And they're often promiscuous, too, so you'd think they would get it.




I think they are promiscuous, but not that experienced. There is only so much you can learn with one night stands. Also who gives a shit about some stranger you're shagging's orgasm?

Posted by: dagny at August 28, 2017 09:28 PM (wZuWv)

282 Ya know, obnoxious '80s comic Andrew Dice Clay solved this problem for all of us.


Lick. The. Alphabet.

I had great success in my younger days following this advice.
Posted by: The mass media can EABOD. at August 28, 2017 09:23 PM (CEU4j)

======

That was Sam Kinnison, may he RIP.

Posted by: GOULD at August 28, 2017 09:28 PM (OT5I1)

283 >>I've heard motorcycles are ... effective.

I grew on a horse farm.

Yea.

Posted by: JackStraw at August 28, 2017 09:28 PM (/tuJf)

284 >>>There's only one group I can think of who is likely to be ignorant that clitoral stimulation is a good and nice thing: Children.



And Muslims. Lots of Muslims.

Posted by: Misanthropic Humanitarian at August 28, 2017 09:28 PM (ZTRlp)

285 Vagina Dandruff, the incumbent, is 26 points behind his primary opponent.

Posted by: Anonosaurus Wrecks, Doppelganger To the Stars! at August 28, 2017 09:28 PM (Nwg0u)

286 Well, I'm not in the KKK, but I'm a real wizard under the sheets!!

Posted by: Billy Jeff Clinton at August 28, 2017 09:29 PM (S6Pax)

287 278
There are estimates that up to 30% of married men are raising children that aren't theirs. And no, I don't mean adoption.
Posted by: Insomniac at August 28, 2017 09:28 PM (0mRoj)


That fucking stork is too damn busy imitating Groucho and doing Vlasic Pickle commercials. Does Trumka handle that union?

Posted by: J.J. Sefton at August 28, 2017 09:29 PM (mbhDw)

288 Milwaukee Vibrator.

Posted by: Infidel at August 28, 2017 09:29 PM (mxS7w)

289 If you'd just try a bit ... you could be cute.
Posted by: ScoggDog at August 28, 2017 09:26 PM (cM6fa)



Lena Dunham would have try a lot more than "a bit."

Posted by: Deplorable Jay Guevara at August 28, 2017 09:29 PM (SRKgf)

290 Little dick beta mansplains why he's been doing it wrong?

Posted by: flounder, rebel, vulgarian, deplorable, winner at August 28, 2017 09:29 PM (tbOMB)

291 South Park: Bigger, Longer, Uncut was sort of all over this.

Posted by: mputtre at August 28, 2017 09:29 PM (isGHK)

292 5 i bet you all my starwars CNN fake news propaganda slut Don Lemon's tittering behind his hand at the successful perpetration of this clitoris hoax
Posted by: happyfeet at August 28, 2017 08:44 PM (mLfQi)

i thought he was a penis slurpper.

Notice how I didn't call him a cocksucker.

Posted by: Misanthropic Humanitarian at August 28, 2017 09:29 PM (ZTRlp)

293 ok, perhaps the guy is telling the guys that don't actually do anything but intercourse, you know the w bam ty mam

Posted by: willow at August 28, 2017 09:30 PM (FKrah)

294 >>>230 His bio says that he has a wife and two sons, Ace.

Then his wife must be one frustrated customer.

Or maybe she just can't speak. Maybe she's like Captain Pike on Star Trek and can only make a button blink once or twice so she can't really get into specific instructions.

Posted by: Jim at August 28, 2017 09:30 PM (8rNrN)

295 Or boxed out.

I was great at that too.

Posted by: Wilt Chamberlain at August 28, 2017 09:30 PM (RozsV)

296 >>>but which would be interesting to a sexually-inexperienced tween or early teenager.

Can't be. Teens have to much sense to be reading CNN.

Posted by: Steve and Cold Bear at August 28, 2017 09:30 PM (/qEW2)

297 Realistically, this sort of thing makes sense.
1- They need content, the more titillating, the better
2- Yeah, probably some pervy grooming thing here, too
3 - The Anti-Sex League have made normal behavior more or less taboo and kinky (see 1, above).

Posted by: Your Decidedly Devious Uncle Palpatine. All Honor & Glory to Kekistan! at August 28, 2017 09:30 PM (fA1SL)

298 osted by: Insomniac at August 28, 2017 09:28 PM (0mRoj)

An estimate from whom, IS, in what publications?

Posted by: FenelonSpoke at August 28, 2017 09:30 PM (iVOAv)

299 292 5 i bet you all my starwars CNN fake news propaganda slut Don Lemon's tittering behind his hand at the successful perpetration of this clitoris hoax
Posted by: happyfeet at August 28, 2017 08:44 PM (mLfQi)

i thought he was a penis slurpper.

Notice how I didn't call him a cocksucker.
Posted by: Misanthropic Humanitarian at August 28, 2017 09:29 PM (ZTRlp)

He is indeed a peter puffer.

Posted by: Insomniac at August 28, 2017 09:30 PM (0mRoj)

300 Do y'all have big plans for your first wedding anniversary?

-------

It's the kind of love from years of exploring one another.

Posted by: MAGA at August 28, 2017 09:30 PM (Tyk2V)

301 If you haven't done it before, throw in a jalapeno, it'll be hot!

Posted by: tunakermit at August 28, 2017 09:30 PM (TzYyc)

302 Also, I have always said that the dystopia we should fear isn't 1984 but Brave New World. Lots of casual, meaningless sex starting very young, lock kids into a set caste, keep the populace drugged, no historical education...

Posted by: Mrs. Peel at August 28, 2017 09:31 PM (JPRju)

303 There is actually some evidence that women experience two different kinds of orgasm, or that they need both vaginal penetration as well as ringing the button to pop in some ladies.

The link is to Daily Mail, so you know it is sound science, the kind I love sexually:

http://tinyurl.com/m82laja

Posted by: GnuBreed, still deplorable after all these months at August 28, 2017 09:31 PM (0ogQG)

304 -
--
209
196 Does riding on a pig increase clitoral stimulation?



Asking for a friend.

Posted by: Adirondack Patriot at August 28, 2017 09:14 PM (arhmY)





The spin cycle on the washing machine, or so I'm told, is rather effective in that regard.

Posted by: J.J. Sefton at August 28, 2017 09:16 PM
-------------------------------------------
-----------

Apropo of nothing, does anyone have recommendations for a commercial-grade paint-shaker?



Posted by: Sandra Fluke at August 28, 2017 09:31 PM (85f6P)

305 Posted by: GOULD at August 28, 2017 09:24 PM (OT5I1)

2300 rpm for 30 minutes on the Dynaglide on a mountain road in the sun. Reports say it's pretty reliable.

Posted by: CrotchetyOldJarhead at August 28, 2017 09:31 PM (iLJUQ)

306
Yay, verily. I existeth not.

Posted by: Clitoris of York at August 28, 2017 09:31 PM (2wRtc)

307 There is only so much you can learn with one night stands. Also who gives a shit about some stranger you're shagging's orgasm?
Posted by: dagny at August 28, 2017 09:28 PM (wZuWv)

this.

Posted by: willow at August 28, 2017 09:31 PM (FKrah)

308 278 There are estimates that up to 30% of married men are raising children that aren't theirs. And no, I don't mean adoption.
Posted by: Insomniac at August 28, 2017 09:28 PM (0mRoj)



OK, but why would you tell other people - especially me - that you had the whole family genetically characterized? The guy is a fellow scientist, who knows me very well, and it was the first thing that crossed my mind.

Posted by: Deplorable Jay Guevara at August 28, 2017 09:31 PM (SRKgf)

309 Lena Dunham would have try a lot more than "a bit."
Posted by: Deplorable Jay Guevara


That girl has black and blue marks all over her, from guys poking her with ten foot poles.

Posted by: Billy Jeff Clinton at August 28, 2017 09:31 PM (S6Pax)

310 There are estimates that up to 30% of married men are raising children that aren't theirs. And no, I don't mean adoption.
Posted by: Insomniac



I have a friend who has 3 step sons and 3 foster kids (mid teens). Two of the step sons live elsewhere but the rest live with him and his wife. He looks a little haggard.

Posted by: Puddleglum at August 28, 2017 09:32 PM (pY+s4)

311 I can't believe publius isn't on this thread. Man ... is he going to be pissed.

Posted by: ThePrimordialOrderedPair at August 28, 2017 09:32 PM (rZ+mb)

312 "breaking news from 1973"...

that's when that essay on the female orgasm in her women's studies textbook was written.

Posted by: musical jolly chimp at August 28, 2017 09:32 PM (AxFdW)

313 Think for a moment of being a curious, inexperienced teenager, with the sum of all the of sexual knowledge of all of the ages of the entire world literally in the palm of your hand, and you go to cnn dot com.

Posted by: Moron Robbie - SJWs Destroyed My Garden Because I Grew Heritage Tomatoes at August 28, 2017 09:32 PM (q6r6w)

314 As for the 70s and 80s, I've always observed that even the hairiest mound always had a neat part. Right down the middle, below that mystery bump.

Posted by: Tom22ndState at August 28, 2017 09:32 PM (dKwTd)

315 OT "Masked militia" sidebar link redirects back here to the HQ.

Posted by: josephistan at August 28, 2017 09:32 PM (ANIFC)

316
The clitoris of X = Y^ squared.

Posted by: Mortimer - Finish Her! at August 28, 2017 09:32 PM (2wRtc)

317 311 I can't believe publius isn't on this thread. Man ... is he going to be pissed.
Posted by: ThePrimordialOrderedPair at August 28, 2017 09:32 PM (rZ+mb)


Socking as Pubius, no doubt.

Posted by: J.J. Sefton at August 28, 2017 09:32 PM (mbhDw)

318 There is only so much you can learn with one night stands. Also who gives a shit about some stranger you're shagging's orgasm?
Posted by: dagny at August 28, 2017 09:28 PM (wZuWv)



Ah, the demographic that considers Greyhound to be a contraceptive measure.

Posted by: Deplorable Jay Guevara at August 28, 2017 09:33 PM (SRKgf)

319 Apropos of nothing, Win a M14 https://wn.nr/3Tgkx2

Posted by: Grump928(C) PoC at August 28, 2017 09:33 PM (LTHVh)

320 2300 rpm for 30 minutes on the Dynaglide on a mountain road in the sun. Reports say it's pretty reliable.
Posted by: CrotchetyOldJarhead at August 28, 2017 09:31 PM (iLJUQ)

=====#=

Yep. It was like a Sybian.

Posted by: GOULD at August 28, 2017 09:33 PM (OT5I1)

321 Hey there big boy.
Posted by: Lena Dunham at August 28, 2017 09:22 PM (0mRoj)

*vomits up dinner*

Posted by: Country Boy - official AmbASSador to the CenTexMoMee at August 28, 2017 09:33 PM (D2vc1)

322


One word...

NAMBLA.

Howard Stern warned us about these creeps...

The gay mafia has been going after kids for a while now, with tacit approval from Obamanoids everywhere...

They understand that you have to get at them young, the younger the better.

That creepy weird shit is percolating up to the mainstream...perhaps because of Trump and the reflex to go further left by moronprogs.

But I tell you, you will see worse and worse behavior.

Go back to 1970. Would anyone then have imagined a magazine aimed at teens telling them how to have anal sex?

That doesn't strike that bizarre mirror-gazing ho Lauren Duca or whatever as weird.

Where did that slut pick up on all this? Does she stop for a second and ask if it's a good thing?

The universities have done such damage.


Posted by: Rev Dr E Buzz Alt-Rightie Esq at August 28, 2017 09:33 PM (AASEZ)

323 314 As for the 70s and 80s, I've always observed that even the hairiest mound always had a neat part. Right down the middle, below that mystery bump.
Posted by: Tom22ndState at August 28, 2017 09:32 PM (dKwTd)

Mystery bump. Suddenly the five notes from "Close Encounters" entered my mind.

Posted by: J.J. Sefton at August 28, 2017 09:33 PM (mbhDw)

324 302 Also, I have always said that the dystopia we should fear isn't 1984 but Brave New World. Lots of casual, meaningless sex starting very young, lock kids into a set caste, keep the populace drugged, no historical education...
Posted by: Mrs. Peel



THIS^^^^

Posted by: Puddleglum at August 28, 2017 09:34 PM (pY+s4)

325
I only believe in things that I can touch.


Sorry "clitoris".

Posted by: Mortimer - Finish Her! at August 28, 2017 09:34 PM (2wRtc)

326 278 There are estimates that up to 30% of married men are raising children that aren't theirs. And no, I don't mean adoption.
Posted by: Insomniac at August 28, 2017 09:28 PM (0mRoj)


Does that include step-fathers?

Posted by: tunakermit at August 28, 2017 09:34 PM (TzYyc)

327 ...destroy the family, no literary education, religious services are pure emotion/feel-good with no exegesis...

Posted by: Mrs. Peel at August 28, 2017 09:34 PM (JPRju)

328 So is outer course rape?

-
There is nothing wrong with your dick. Do not attempt to adjust the angle. We are controlling emission. If we wish to make it louder, we will bring up the volume. If we wish to make it softer, we will tune it to a whisper. We can reduce the erdction to a soft blur, or sharpen it to crystal clarity. We will control the horizontal. We will control the vertical. For the next hour, sit quietly and we will control all that you see and hear. You are about to experience the awe and mystery which reaches from the inner mind to... The Outer Course.

Posted by: Anonosaurus Wrecks, Doppelganger To the Stars! at August 28, 2017 09:34 PM (Nwg0u)

329 The spin cycle on the washing machine, or so I'm told, is rather effective in that regard.
Posted by: J.J. Sefton at August 28, 2017 09:16 PM (mbhDw)

I've heard motorcycles are ... effective.
Posted by: Deplorable Jay Guevara at August 28, 2017 09:17 PM (SRKgf)

Riding on a train. Once I took care of things right there, my coat over my lap. I thought I was being very discreet, but I got a few interesting looks when I exited the train.

Posted by: JuJuBee at August 28, 2017 09:34 PM (2NqXo)

330 Can't deny my two kids.

Smart, stubborn, sarcastic ... square-heads and round faces.

Posted by: ScoggDog at August 28, 2017 09:34 PM (cM6fa)

331 Also, I have always said that the dystopia we should fear isn't 1984 but Brave New World. Lots of casual, meaningless sex starting very young, lock kids into a set caste, keep the populace drugged, no historical education...
Posted by: Mrs. Peel at August 28, 2017 09:31 PM (JPRju)


IIRC, 1984 also had elements of this. The proles were encouraged to drink and fuck and act like hedonists because it kept them distracted. The smart proles were raised up to the outer party, preventing any leadership from arising.

Posted by: Colorado Alex In Exile at August 28, 2017 09:34 PM (Tnhbr)

332 Mystery bump. Suddenly the five notes from "Close Encounters" entered my mind.

HR Giger also had some ideas

Posted by: boulder terlit hobo at August 28, 2017 09:34 PM (6FqZa)

333 I'm counting out time
got the whole thing down by numbers

Posted by: TexasDan at August 28, 2017 09:34 PM (yL25O)

334 >>>ok, perhaps the guy is telling the guys that don't actually do anything but intercourse, you know the w bam ty mam

eh, possible. I just don't think that that sort of guy would be reading CNN for sex tips.

especially with the whole explosion of pornography. Parents have to be absolute HAWKS to keep kids (little ones) from seeing everything at very early ages.

Maybe this "you know, you should do some petting" advice was needed for older generations, but I can't see current generations not knowing this.

It just seems to be written in such a childishly innocent way that it's intended for young people, not old codgers who would probably 1, not care, because it's not like they have many more sexual hills to climb, and 2, would probably appreciate a more authoritative and knowledgable tone (that is, not writing from a pose of ignorance) as a younger person might like.

Posted by: ace at August 28, 2017 09:35 PM (8rNrN)

335 296 >>>but which would be interesting to a sexually-inexperienced tween or early teenager.

Can't be. Teens have to much sense to be reading CNN.
Posted by: Steve and Cold Bear at August 28, 2017 09:30 PM (/qEW2)



Also, let's face it, they've got better things to do.

Such as teenaged chicks.

Posted by: Deplorable Jay Guevara at August 28, 2017 09:35 PM (SRKgf)

336 This whole article was written so the writer could humble brag having invented the term outer-course.

Posted by: TexasDan at August 28, 2017 09:35 PM (yL25O)

337 324. Embrace the healing power of 'and.' Soma and empty sex if you're 'good.' Room 101 before you un-exist.

Posted by: Your Decidedly Devious Uncle Palpatine. All Honor & Glory to Kekistan! at August 28, 2017 09:35 PM (fA1SL)

338 Everything You Ever Wanted to Know About Sex had a mad scientist who claimed to be able to produce clitoral orgasms in men.

Posted by: Steve and Cold Bear at August 28, 2017 09:36 PM (/qEW2)

339 Bozo Button...rofl

That term is definitely going to pop into my head at the most inopportune moments. Which I will then have to explain, as I lose focus and start laughing. I can't even...

Posted by: Gorilla Gumdrop at August 28, 2017 09:36 PM (lsZMj)

340 329
Riding on a train. Once I took care of things right there, my coat over my lap. I thought I was being very discreet, but I got a few interesting looks when I exited the train.
Posted by: JuJuBee at August 28, 2017 09:34 PM (2NqXo)


Hey, baby. What are you wearing?

*Barry White voice*

Posted by: J.J. Sefton at August 28, 2017 09:37 PM (mbhDw)

341 Greatest line in porn: 'He strummed her box like a Mariachi with the palsy'.

Posted by: Grump928(C) PoC at August 28, 2017 09:37 PM (LTHVh)

342 ---
--
Riding on a train. Once I took care of things right
there, my coat over my lap. I thought I was being very discreet, but I
got a few interesting looks when I exited the train.

Posted by: JuJuBee at August 28, 2017 09:34 PM

------------------------------

I was right!!

Posted by: Bob Sweet at August 28, 2017 09:37 PM (85f6P)

343 Posted by: Puddleglum at August 28, 2017 09:32 PM (pY+s4)

Insomnia was suggesting, I believe. 30% of men were cuckholds raising children that their wives passed off as their own-which sounds like some number from overwrought men at mens' rights sites. And yes, I quite understand that men often get screwed in the divorce process, and that is too bad, I find that figure ridiculous

Posted by: FenelonSpoke at August 28, 2017 09:37 PM (iVOAv)

344 I guess I won't hold my breath for a sexual harassment scandal from CNN.

Posted by: Bill R. at August 28, 2017 09:37 PM (IuYIh)

345 338 Everything You Ever Wanted to Know About Sex had a mad scientist who claimed to be able to produce clitoral orgasms in men.
Posted by: Steve and Cold Bear at August 28, 2017 09:36 PM (/qEW2)


Prof. Irwin Corey?

Posted by: J.J. Sefton at August 28, 2017 09:37 PM (mbhDw)

346 Nina Hartley is apparently the go-to-expert on the female orgasm. Or so I've been told.
Really, I've been told that by Timothy Ferris.

Posted by: Northernlurker, Phillips screwdriver of the gods at August 28, 2017 09:37 PM (nBr1j)

347 >>>307 There is only so much you can learn with one night stands. Also who gives a shit about some stranger you're shagging's orgasm?
Posted by: dagny at August 28, 2017 09:28 PM (wZuWv)

this.
Posted by: willow

...

you can learn a lot about your ability to adapt, improvise, and overcome in unknown terrain.

Posted by: ace at August 28, 2017 09:37 PM (8rNrN)

348 but I got a few interesting looks when I exited the train.
Posted by: JuJuBee at August 28, 2017 09:34 PM (2NqXo)

....

I first read that as "exited the train"

Posted by: TexasDan at August 28, 2017 09:38 PM (yL25O)

349 347
you can learn a lot about your ability to adapt, improvise, and overcome in unknown terrain.

Posted by: ace at August 28, 2017 09:37 PM (8rNrN)


I'll rise to that challenge.

Posted by: J.J. Sefton at August 28, 2017 09:38 PM (mbhDw)

350 Posted by: FenelonSpoke at August 28, 2017 09:30 PM (iVOAv)

There have been multiple publications on paternity testing results and about 30% come back with the putative father not being the father. There is some degree of self-selection involved, so the range across the broader population can vary a good deal. A little Internet research should turn up some articles for you.

Posted by: Insomniac at August 28, 2017 09:39 PM (0mRoj)

351 This guy is the Rip Van Winkle of sex know-it-alls. Slip him an Ambien and see what he comes up with next time he wakes up

Posted by: Pussy Galore at August 28, 2017 09:39 PM (GdgAM)

352 Sleeper car on an Amtrak. Amazing.

Posted by: Your Decidedly Devious Uncle Palpatine. All Honor & Glory to Kekistan! at August 28, 2017 09:39 PM (fA1SL)

353 This thread is rapidly turning into ONT territory.

Posted by: Jane D'oh at August 28, 2017 09:39 PM (PY9jH)

354 " Et tu, frute?"

Julius Clitoris

Posted by: Mortimer - Finish Her! at August 28, 2017 09:39 PM (2wRtc)

355 So when does Cosmo turn to Joe Biden for sex tips? I mean creepy sex tips.

Posted by: Northernlurker, Phillips screwdriver of the gods at August 28, 2017 09:40 PM (nBr1j)

356 >>There is only so much you can learn with one night stands. Also who gives a shit about some stranger you're shagging's orgasm?

You have to think of it like spring training. If you don't but in the work, you won't be able to perform when you get to The Show.

Posted by: JackStraw at August 28, 2017 09:40 PM (/tuJf)

357 353. Hang-ups are for telephones, baby! Get with the groovy guys and gals.

Posted by: Your Decidedly Devious Uncle Palpatine. All Honor & Glory to Kekistan! at August 28, 2017 09:40 PM (fA1SL)

358 Does that include step-fathers?
Posted by: tunakermit at August 28, 2017 09:34 PM (TzYyc)

Nope. It's from aggregated paternity test results. In step-family situations they already know they're not the father.

Posted by: Insomniac at August 28, 2017 09:40 PM (0mRoj)

359
It's the kind of love from years of exploring one another.

Posted by: MAGA at August 28, 2017 09:30 PM (Tyk2V)

---

Yeah, I've realized that's sort of where I stand on premarital sex these days, too. Could you imagine saving yourself for marriage, getting married, having sex five or six times before the wedding cake kicks in, and then never, ever getting laid again?

Posted by: Moron Robbie - SJWs Destroyed My Garden Because I Grew Heritage Tomatoes at August 28, 2017 09:41 PM (q6r6w)

360 Everything boils down to sex or blood.

Since liberals tend to faint easily, sex it is.

Next.

Posted by: Meremortal at August 28, 2017 09:41 PM (3myMJ)

361 Posted by: Insomniac at August 28, 2017 09:39 PM (0mRoj)

Yes, I would imagine the broader population-whatever it is- does not reflect that. 30% of all married men?-bs.

Posted by: FenelonSpoke at August 28, 2017 09:41 PM (iVOAv)

362
Old and busted - Plato's Retreat
New hotness - Play Dough's Retreat

Posted by: J.J. Sefton at August 28, 2017 09:41 PM (mbhDw)

363 There was solid reasoning to why the children have historically been the property of their father's.

Posted by: Widespread Pepe at August 28, 2017 09:42 PM (XFue2)

364 I'm intrigued by the Sidebar item: Democrats endorse "Masked Militia" or Democrat's pieholes are shut.

Unfortunately clicking it is less satisfying than outercourse.

Posted by: Grump928(C) PoC at August 28, 2017 09:42 PM (LTHVh)

365 358 Does that include step-fathers?
Posted by: tunakermit at August 28, 2017 09:34 PM (TzYyc)

Nope. It's from aggregated paternity test results. In step-family situations they already know they're not the father.
Posted by: Insomniac at August 28, 2017 09:40 PM (0mRoj)


I read that as aggravated paternity tests.

Posted by: J.J. Sefton at August 28, 2017 09:42 PM (mbhDw)

366 Years ago James Jones was fascinated about this in his book "Whistle". One of the soldiers who returns to his old lady finds she has a boyfriend who licks the happy spot and she wants nothing to do with her old soldier who won't.

So I would say about 1944 even Rosie the Riveter knew about this.


According to Medieval medical thought, women couldn't conceive unless they orgasmed during intercourse. So I suspect that they had figured out how to accomplish that feat some time before Rosie....

Posted by: Grey Fox at August 28, 2017 09:42 PM (bZ7mE)

367 A one night stand is a like a dirty, dirty Escape Room.

Posted by: ace at August 28, 2017 09:42 PM (8rNrN)

368 360. Heh....that was the working title of a mythical work on Wagnerian opera - Blood and Sex, a brief history of operatic spectacle. Used to 'cite' that in discussions all the time.

Posted by: Your Decidedly Devious Uncle Palpatine. All Honor & Glory to Kekistan! at August 28, 2017 09:43 PM (fA1SL)

369 you can learn a lot about your ability to adapt, improvise, and overcome in unknown terrain.
Posted by: ace at August 28, 2017 09:37 PM (8rNrN)

I'll rise to that challenge.
Posted by: J.J. Sefton at August 28, 2017 09:38 PM (mbhDw)


That's pretty much it, right there.

Posted by: ScoggDog at August 28, 2017 09:43 PM (cM6fa)

370 366 So I suspect that they had figured out how to accomplish that feat some time before Rosie....
Posted by: Grey Fox at August 28, 2017 09:42 PM (bZ7mE)


Ye Olde Reach Arounde.

Posted by: J.J. Sefton at August 28, 2017 09:43 PM (mbhDw)

371 Insomniac dropping red pills walking the razor's edge. I love it!

Posted by: Widespread Pepe at August 28, 2017 09:43 PM (XFue2)

372 Here's something no man gets (okay, I don't) : Why don't women have more fun riding bicycles? Seems to us (okay, me) that that should work pretty well.

Posted by: spongeworthy at August 28, 2017 09:43 PM (K/9da)

373 People are sick. Over at WZ, looters shooting at the Cajun Navy.

Posted by: Infidel at August 28, 2017 09:43 PM (mxS7w)

374 ace, i'm trying to not imagine it might be catering to the very young and /or uninitiated .
which is where it would be too much info.

so preteen might be right on.

perhaps so they don't get pregnant?

have fun all you want!

just don't use the bad thing.

Posted by: willow at August 28, 2017 09:43 PM (FKrah)

375 Seriously?

"clitoris" ?

Really? It doesn't even sound real.

Why not Contrails? Or Yeti?

Posted by: Mortimer - Finish Her! at August 28, 2017 09:44 PM (2wRtc)

376 According to Medieval medical thought, women couldn't conceive unless they orgasmed during intercourse. So I suspect that they had figured out how to accomplish that feat some time before Rosie....
Posted by: Grey Fox at August 28, 2017 09:42 PM (bZ7mE)

...

Medieval men had incredible game. None of this just the tip nonsense.

Posted by: TexasDan at August 28, 2017 09:44 PM (yL25O)

377 367. Hydrated Ace is best Ace

Posted by: Your Decidedly Devious Uncle Palpatine. All Honor & Glory to Kekistan! at August 28, 2017 09:44 PM (fA1SL)

378 Victoria's Secret dressing room. Sorry.

Posted by: flounder, rebel, vulgarian, deplorable, winner at August 28, 2017 09:44 PM (tbOMB)

379 read that as aggravated paternity tests.
Posted by: J.J. Sefton at August 28, 2017 09:42 PM (mbhDw)

All paternity tests are aggravated.

Posted by: Widespread Pepe at August 28, 2017 09:44 PM (XFue2)

380 So I would say about 1944 even Rosie the Riveter knew about this.

-
Damn rivet guns!

Posted by: Anonosaurus Wrecks, Doppelganger To the Stars! at August 28, 2017 09:44 PM (Nwg0u)

381 So who's the audience here?

It's not Pajama Boy, who just went screaming to his room, nor is it the males of Japan.

I'm going to guess it's for third-grade sex ed. class.

Posted by: t-bird at August 28, 2017 09:44 PM (OBJWS)

382 Hey, baby. What are you wearing?

*Barry White voice*
Posted by: J.J. Sefton at August 28, 2017 09:37 PM (mbhDw)

Jim Acosta's "Wednesday" panties.

Posted by: JuJuBee at August 28, 2017 09:44 PM (2NqXo)

383 Nope. It's from aggregated paternity test results. In step-family situations they already know they're not the father.
Posted by: Insomniac at August 28, 2017 09:40 PM (0mRoj)


Watching what's going on lately, I don't think I can agree with this statement.

Posted by: tunakermit at August 28, 2017 09:44 PM (TzYyc)

384 I guy used to work with told me used to take women home on his motorcycle. Hiding a golf ball under the passenger portion of the seat had them ready to go by the time he got home.

Posted by: Northernlurker, Phillips screwdriver of the gods at August 28, 2017 09:45 PM (nBr1j)

385 371. Insomniac: Shitlord Rising

Posted by: Your Decidedly Devious Uncle Palpatine. All Honor & Glory to Kekistan! at August 28, 2017 09:45 PM (fA1SL)

386 You know, I'm thinking it might not be a bad thing if lib women stop having P in V sex. Fewer abortions and fewer libtards raising future antifas.

Besides, who wouldn't prefer a sex toy to a libtard male?

Posted by: Donna&&&&&&V : The Brewers beat the Dodgers Yay! at August 28, 2017 09:45 PM (P8951)

387 It's easy to think there is this vast left wing conspiracy of behind the scenes string pullers coming up with a constant barrage of this stuff.
Or...
Perhaps some of these guys are just stupid.

Posted by: Diogenes at August 28, 2017 09:45 PM (0tfLf)

388 367 A one night stand is a like a dirty, dirty Escape Room.
Posted by: ace at August 28, 2017 09:42 PM (8rNrN)


Hey, I'm no Jim Acosta, but even at the ripe old age of 57 I've gotten looks from women in bars and restaurants. Definitely an ego boost. And were I not otherwise attached....

Posted by: J.J. Sefton at August 28, 2017 09:45 PM (mbhDw)

389 Posted by: Widespread Pepe at August 28, 2017 09:43 PM (XFue2)

I can see this is going to turn into another "women are are horrible" thread. I'm gone

Posted by: FenelonSpoke at August 28, 2017 09:45 PM (iVOAv)

390 343 Insomnia was suggesting, I believe. 30% of men were cuckholds raising children that their wives passed off as their own-which sounds like some number from overwrought men at mens' rights sites. And yes, I quite understand that men often get screwed in the divorce process, and that is too bad, I find that figure ridiculous
Posted by: FenelonSpoke at August 28, 2017 09:37 PM (

Thanks for saying what I was thinking. Can't be silly for a second without the bitter bringing it all to a slamming halt.

Posted by: bebe's boobs destroy at August 28, 2017 09:45 PM (hscyr)

391 Over at WZ, looters shooting at the Cajun Navy.

Do they understand how poorly that could turn out?

Posted by: t-bird at August 28, 2017 09:45 PM (OBJWS)

392 Prof. Irwin Corey?

Posted by: J.J. Sefton


According to wikipedia, the part of the scientist (Dr. Bernardo) was played by John Carradine.

Posted by: Steve and Cold Bear at August 28, 2017 09:45 PM (/qEW2)

393 Hydrated Ace is best Ace
Posted by: Your Decidedly Devious Uncle Palpatine. All Honor & Glory to Kekistan! at August 28, 2017 09:44 PM (fA1SL)


Probably just high off the Fish Jism.

Posted by: ScoggDog at August 28, 2017 09:45 PM (cM6fa)

394
Shit. I'm cleaning out the coffee maker (which I use for tea, mostly), drying my underwear, and doing other shit and I miss the start of this.

The gods, they conspire agin' me.

We all need to become more cliterate. The majority of the "Bozo Button" is internal. It has "legs".

Google "3D model of clitoris".

Posted by: publius, the Persistent Poperin Pear at August 28, 2017 09:46 PM (8O3HH)

395 anyway..
i'm going to wash dishes. bl

Posted by: willow at August 28, 2017 09:46 PM (FKrah)

396 Medieval men had incredible game. None of this just the tip nonsense.

-
I've heard that they were good with a lance.

Posted by: Anonosaurus Wrecks, Doppelganger To the Stars! at August 28, 2017 09:46 PM (Nwg0u)

397 352>> Nice. Side of the road in the midst of the bluebonnets under the stars during a break on a cross country ride.

Posted by: CrotchetyOldJarhead at August 28, 2017 09:46 PM (iLJUQ)

398 What about the women who ghve their "bozo buttons" removed with a dull, rusty razor blade? What are they supposed to do??? Oh, that's right, it's culturally insensitive to talk about it since it pretty much only involves one "culture/religion".///

Posted by: lin-duh fell at August 28, 2017 09:46 PM (kufk0)

399 359
It's the kind of love from years of exploring one another.

Posted by: MAGA at August 28, 2017 09:30 PM (Tyk2V)

---

Yeah, I've realized that's sort of where I stand on premarital sex these days, too. Could you imagine saving yourself for marriage, getting married, having sex five or six times before the wedding cake kicks in, and then never, ever getting laid again?
Posted by: Moron Robbie - SJWs Destroyed My Garden Because I Grew Heritage Tomatoes at August 28, 2017 09:41 PM (q6r6w)

-----

Ah, no!

Posted by: MAGA at August 28, 2017 09:46 PM (Tyk2V)

400 I did not mind being a "cunning linguist" so long as the area was impeccably clean. Unfortunately the late 70s/early 80s was a time of hirsute pubic areas. Not the best textural sensation.

Posted by: J.J. Sefton at August 28, 2017 09:01 PM (mbhDw)




What? Fiber in your diet, and dental floss too. All in the same tasty treat!



Jim
Sunk New Dawn
Galveston, TX

Posted by: Jim at August 28, 2017 09:46 PM (MGCfm)

401 373 People are sick. Over at WZ, looters shooting at the Cajun Navy.

Posted by: Infidel at August 28, 2017 09:43 PM (mxS7w)

---

I've known some Cajuns. What-the-hell-did-he-say? and what-the-hell-is-he-eating? Cajuns. I love, admire, and respect Texans, but I'd shoot at a Texan before I shot at a Cajun.

Even an unarmed Cajun.

Posted by: Moron Robbie - SJWs Destroyed My Garden Because I Grew Heritage Tomatoes at August 28, 2017 09:46 PM (q6r6w)

402 >>According to Medieval medical thought, women couldn't conceive unless they orgasmed during intercourse. So I suspect that they had figured out how to accomplish that feat some time before Rosie....

Kama Sutra was written a bit before that. A billion Indians can't be all wrong.

Posted by: JackStraw at August 28, 2017 09:46 PM (/tuJf)

403 So, what do you power your vibrator with, double-A's?

Posted by: Rosie O'Donnell, gapping the plugs on a 426 Hemi at August 28, 2017 09:47 PM (85f6P)

404 I think we're all bozos on this bus.

Posted by: JuJuBee at August 28, 2017 09:47 PM (2NqXo)

405 >>>377 367. Hydrated Ace is best Ace

thanks but I think I'm dehydrated. Nothing to do with fasting (I'm not fasting). But I've worked out and I guess, despite trying to drink All the Water, I'm fatigued and foggy.

Posted by: ace at August 28, 2017 09:47 PM (8rNrN)

406 Could you imagine saving yourself for marriage, getting married, having sex five or six times before the wedding cake kicks in, and then never, ever getting laid again?
===

Five or six times?

Posted by: Mortimer - Finish Her! at August 28, 2017 09:47 PM (2wRtc)

407
Okay, bozo buttons. Off to bed.

Catch you in the AM.

Posted by: J.J. Sefton at August 28, 2017 09:47 PM (mbhDw)

408 Posted by: Insomniac at August 28, 2017 09:39 PM (0mRoj)

Yes, I would imagine the broader population-whatever it is- does not reflect that. 30% of all married men?-bs.
Posted by: FenelonSpoke at August 28, 2017 09:41 PM (iVOAv)

The number I've typically seen is 10 percent.

Posted by: Country Boy - official AmbASSador to the CenTexMoMee at August 28, 2017 09:47 PM (D2vc1)

409 I've always wondered by those ancient kings with 100 wives and a thousand concubines.
What with all the warring and killing and sex they must have busy.

Posted by: Northernlurker, Phillips screwdriver of the gods at August 28, 2017 09:47 PM (nBr1j)

410 i'm sure a one night stand can get you to the finish line
but there is something to be said about a lengthy relationship that has all the time in the world to explore eachother, the whole package

Posted by: willow at August 28, 2017 09:47 PM (FKrah)

411 Insomniac is off by an order of magnitude. It's more like 3%.
http://tinyurl.com/y8utxg8k

Keywords would be misattributed paternity, extra-pair copulations.

It's a common meme from the darker corners of the Mens' Rights internet that it's as high as 30%, but I suspect that statistic is skewed by the sort of guy who ends up in that side of the internet.

Kind of like how Kinsley thought 10% of the population was teh ghey, because he himself was teh ghey, and hung around lots of homosexuals.

So here's another keyword: confirmation bias . . .

Posted by: boulder terlit hobo at August 28, 2017 09:48 PM (6FqZa)

412 You know how a real man knows if a woman has an orgasm?






Real men don't care.

Posted by: Muthaucker at August 28, 2017 09:48 PM (FCp5W)

413
Prof. Irwin Corey?

Posted by: J.J. Sefton at August 28, 2017 09:37 PM (mbhDw)


Bill Nye.

Posted by: Mimzey at August 28, 2017 09:48 PM (n3hky)

414 Kama Sutra was written a bit before that. A billion Indians can't be all wrong.
Posted by: JackStraw at August 28, 2017 09:46 PM (/tuJf)


They can sure as hell put out a musical full of song, dance, and elephants !!!

Posted by: ScoggDog at August 28, 2017 09:48 PM (cM6fa)

415 I think we're all bozos on this bus.
Posted by: JuJuBee at August 28, 2017 09:47 PM (2NqXo)

LOL. Thanks for the laugh.

Posted by: FenelonSpoke at August 28, 2017 09:48 PM (iVOAv)

416 are we complaining about men Having to raise the divorced mens children?
I do not think the children came out as a surprise to the new spouse?

Posted by: willow at August 28, 2017 09:49 PM (FKrah)

417 Shep Smith was once married to an actual woman (for six years), named Virginia Donald.

Just throwing that out there for no particular reason.

Posted by: Jane D'oh at August 28, 2017 09:49 PM (PY9jH)

418 Now that I think about I now know why kings were also called potentates.

Posted by: Northernlurker, Phillips screwdriver of the gods at August 28, 2017 09:49 PM (nBr1j)

419 nevermind, dishes.

Posted by: willow at August 28, 2017 09:49 PM (FKrah)

420 >>Shep Smith was once married to an actual woman
>> (for six years),

She divorced him because she was sick of having to be a top all the time.

Posted by: publius, the Persistent Poperin Pear at August 28, 2017 09:50 PM (8O3HH)

421 And the grooming--just keep it short. Think wall-to-wall Berber. You don't want to look like Epstein from Kotter is down on you. Beyond that, overkill.

And one-night stands: Playing your best game makes it your option if you should decide you want to make it two nights.

Posted by: spongeworthy at August 28, 2017 09:50 PM (K/9da)

422 389 I can see this is going to turn into another "women are are horrible" thread. I'm gone
Posted by: FenelonSpoke at August 28, 2017 09:45 PM (

Moi aussi

Posted by: bebe's boobs destroy at August 28, 2017 09:50 PM (hscyr)

423 Five or six times?

Posted by: Mortimer - Finish Her! at August 28, 2017 09:47 PM (2wRtc)


The first night - high five!

Posted by: tunakermit at August 28, 2017 09:51 PM (TzYyc)

424 "clitoris"

"female orgasms"

lol

Posted by: Mortimer - Finish Her! at August 28, 2017 09:51 PM (2wRtc)

425 We Bozos have a saying: 'When you put on the nose, it grows.'

Posted by: JuJuBee at August 28, 2017 09:51 PM (2NqXo)

426 Think wall-to-wall Berber.

So... dying your pubes blue?

Posted by: boulder terlit hobo, straight outta algeria at August 28, 2017 09:52 PM (6FqZa)

427 417 Shep Smith was once married to an actual woman (for six years), named Virginia Donald.

Just throwing that out there for no particular reason.
Posted by: Jane D'oh at August 28, 2017 09:49 PM (PY9jH)

I know a guy who was married--to a woman. In fact we knew both of them. He ultimately left her a man.
When he left the closet he went uber gay. He didn't just slip out of the closet he went roaring out of the closet and the door and around the block.

Posted by: Northernlurker, Phillips screwdriver of the gods at August 28, 2017 09:52 PM (nBr1j)

428 409. My favorite warlord of the Chinese civil wars:

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Zhang_Zongchang

Posted by: Your Decidedly Devious Uncle Palpatine. All Honor & Glory to Kekistan! at August 28, 2017 09:52 PM (fA1SL)

429 Virginia Donald.

Just throwing that out there for no particular reason.
Posted by: Jane D'oh at August 28, 2017 09:49 PM (PY9jH)

Yes, Virginia there really are real men out there.


Bet poor Ginnie didn't get her bozo button punched at all - because girls! yucky! icky!

Posted by: Donna&&&&&&V : The Brewers beat the Dodgers Yay! at August 28, 2017 09:52 PM (P8951)

430 Like women ever want sex.

Posted by: garrett at August 28, 2017 09:53 PM (fRMHz)

431 I like bozo buttons! And kittens! And fluffy bunnies!

Posted by: Nancy Pelosi at August 28, 2017 09:54 PM (O5Q3r)

432 I'd shoot at a Texan before I shot at a Cajun.

Here I am, trapped by water. I think I'll shoot at the guys who have outboard motors and may be communicating with each other.

Posted by: t-bird at August 28, 2017 09:54 PM (OBJWS)

433 Five or six times?

Posted by: Mortimer - Finish Her! at August 28, 2017 09:47 PM (2wRtc)

---

That's my point. It's a roll of the dice every time. Do you teach your son to enjoy the company of women before then, or do you teach him to love, honor, etc. his future wife that may have no interest in what he's been wanting to do his entire life?

Posted by: Moron Robbie - SJWs Destroyed My Garden Because I Grew Heritage Tomatoes at August 28, 2017 09:54 PM (q6r6w)

434 Imagine this guy's surprise when he finds out what women do with those hand-held showerheads.

Posted by: garrett at August 28, 2017 09:54 PM (fRMHz)

435
My favorite warlord

Is that one of those wacky Chinese sitcoms?

Posted by: Bertram Cabot, Jr. at August 28, 2017 09:54 PM (IqV8l)

436 "I've always wondered by those ancient kings with 100 wives and a thousand concubines."

A good number of those were on the practice squad or injured reserve.

Posted by: Meremortal at August 28, 2017 09:54 PM (3myMJ)

437 Get the poison out

Posted by: Jack Sock at August 28, 2017 09:54 PM (LuKE7)

438 433. Both.

Posted by: Your Decidedly Devious Uncle Palpatine. All Honor & Glory to Kekistan! at August 28, 2017 09:54 PM (fA1SL)

439 his future wife that may have no interest in what he's been wanting to do his entire life?
===

may?

Posted by: Mortimer - Finish Her! at August 28, 2017 09:55 PM (2wRtc)

440 435. The ones outta ROC are pretty odd, I grant you.....

Posted by: Your Decidedly Devious Uncle Palpatine. All Honor & Glory to Kekistan! at August 28, 2017 09:55 PM (fA1SL)

441 I was searching for the Sam Kinison stand up act where he explained how to excite the Bozo Button. Didn't find the one I was looking for but this one is great. NSFW by any stretch but completely not PC (he even complains about protesters to his shows).

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bphufa1A_Oc

Posted by: X-ray at August 28, 2017 09:56 PM (ZKWca)

442 Just grab um by the pussy. they'll thank you for it.

Posted by: Donald John Trump at August 28, 2017 09:56 PM (vChNs)

443 are we complaining about men Having to raise the divorced mens children?
I do not think the children came out as a surprise to the new spouse?
Posted by: willow at August 28, 2017 09:49 PM (FKrah)

=====

A friend of mine had a son who he knew by DNA was not his. He shut up and hunkered down and supported him anyway, as the son thought of him as Dad.

He is a good man, better than I am.

Posted by: GOULD at August 28, 2017 09:56 PM (OT5I1)

444 So here's another keyword: confirmation bias . . .
Posted by: boulder terlit hobo at August 28, 2017 09:48 PM (6FqZa)

Physician heal thyself. There are various papers and studies that go anywhere from 1% which seems absurdly low, up to - which I said at the outset - 30%. I also explained the potential effects of self-selection in certain cases. So it's a range and a rather broad one. It's unfortunate so many are taking this so personally.

Posted by: Insomniac at August 28, 2017 09:57 PM (0mRoj)

445 The words "female" and "orgasm" confuse and frighten me.

Posted by: OregonMuse, AoSHQ Thought Leader at August 28, 2017 09:57 PM (bjWNl)

446 308 278 There are estimates that up to 30% of married men are raising children that aren't theirs. And no, I don't mean adoption.
Posted by: Insomniac at August 28, 2017 09:28 PM (0mRoj)


OK, but why would you tell other people - especially me - that you had the whole family genetically characterized? The guy is a fellow scientist, who knows me very well, and it was the first thing that crossed my mind.
Posted by: Deplorable Jay Guevara at August 28, 2017 09:31 PM (SRKgf)



Well as you say he is a scientist. He's probably not thinking "hey maybe my wife was banging other dudes." He was probably thinking along the lines of "I wonder how accurate these DNA tests are and how my two kids wind up comparing to me and my wife."

Posted by: buzzion at August 28, 2017 09:57 PM (z/Ubi)

447 I'm going to wait on Bill Nye to weigh in on the clitoral stuff before I form an opinion.

Posted by: Mike Hammer, etc., etc. at August 28, 2017 09:57 PM (/ZEVC)

448 >>Posted by: Jack Sock

How you doing down there?

Posted by: JackStraw at August 28, 2017 09:57 PM (/tuJf)

449 438 433. Both.

Posted by: Your Decidedly Devious Uncle Palpatine. All Honor & Glory to Kekistan! at August 28, 2017 09:54 PM (fA1SL)

---

That's where I'm leaning these days. I know the moral and righteous (and religious) answer, of course.

I suspect most everyone who was a bit of a whore when they were younger slightly regrets not being more chaste, and most everyone who was very chaste slightly regrets not being a bit more... inquisitive.

Posted by: Moron Robbie - SJWs Destroyed My Garden Because I Grew Heritage Tomatoes at August 28, 2017 09:58 PM (q6r6w)

450 GOPe heartthrob Bruce Rauner joyfully signs bill making Illinois a sanctuary state.

I thankfully do not have a vote for him on my conscience

http://preview.tinyurl.com/yaf8unj6

Posted by: Methos at August 28, 2017 09:59 PM (XQvuQ)

451 According to wikipedia, the part of the scientist (Dr. Bernardo) was played by John Carradine.
Posted by: Steve and Cold Bear at August 28, 2017 09:45 PM (/qEW2)



I thought Jeff Goldblum had that franchise sewn up.

Posted by: Deplorable Jay Guevara at August 28, 2017 09:59 PM (SRKgf)

452 the Sam Kinison stand up act

Oh, geez, Alex Freaking Bennett. On with the show...

Posted by: t-bird at August 28, 2017 10:00 PM (zEjuG)

453 441 I was searching for the Sam Kinison stand up act where he explained how to excite the Bozo Button. Didn't find the one I was looking for but this one is great. NSFW by any stretch but completely not PC (he even complains about protesters to his shows).

You want the "Lick the Alphabet" in your key word. If you can't find it on youtube it is on one of the specials available on Netflix.

Posted by: buzzion at August 28, 2017 10:00 PM (z/Ubi)

454 420 >>Shep Smith was once married to an actual woman
>> (for six years),

She divorced him because she was sick of having to be a top all the time.
Posted by: publius, the Persistent Poperin Pear at August 28, 2017 09:50 PM (8O3HH)

Ewww.

Posted by: Insomniac at August 28, 2017 10:00 PM (0mRoj)

455 A friend of mine had a son who he knew by DNA was not his. He shut up and hunkered down and supported him anyway, as the son thought of him as Dad.

He is a good man, better than I am.

Posted by: GOULD at August 28, 2017 09:56 PM (OT5I1)

---

Didn't I read that the courts these days will assign you "dad" if you're a decent guy and take care of the kid even if the actual father is known and you're not married to the mother?

Pretty spooky to think of how easily you can blow half your paycheck just by being a decent guy.

Posted by: Moron Robbie - SJWs Destroyed My Garden Because I Grew Heritage Tomatoes at August 28, 2017 10:01 PM (q6r6w)

456


The author must be an honorary member of The Cliterati...

Posted by: In Vino Veritits at August 28, 2017 10:02 PM (qul7b)

457 Here's a 3D printed model of the whole clitoris. Most of it is internal.

http://www.zmescience.com/science/news-science/3d-
printing-clitoris-16092016/

Remove the line feed.

It's not the ONT, so's I'd better not elaborate. But there is as much erectile tissue in the thing as Mr. Happy, it's just all internal mostly.

Posted by: publius, the Persistent Poperin Pear at August 28, 2017 10:02 PM (8O3HH)

458 I once banged a waitress named Goldie. Let's just say she was bout it bout it.

Just puttin' that out there.

Posted by: Jim "The Satisfier" Acosta at August 28, 2017 10:02 PM (8rNrN)

459 Maybe this "you know, you should do some petting" advice was needed for older generations, but I can't see current generations not knowing this.

Yeah, no. We ALL knew what we wanted to do.

Posted by: free tibet, with purchase of equal or greater value tibet at August 28, 2017 10:03 PM (CL76w)

460 385 371. Insomniac: Shitlord Rising
Posted by: Your Decidedly Devious Uncle Palpatine. All Honor & Glory to Kekistan! at August 28, 2017 09:45 PM (fA1SL)

Hah! Love it!

Posted by: Insomniac at August 28, 2017 10:03 PM (0mRoj)

461 Prediction: Many late model used cars on the market, about 2 months from now.

Posted by: Mike Hammer, etc., etc. at August 28, 2017 10:03 PM (/ZEVC)

462 My favorite warlord of the Chinese civil wars:

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Zhang_Zongchang

-
"He kept some 30 to 50 concubines of different nationalities, including Koreans, Japanese, White Russians, French and Americans, who were given numbers since he could not remember their names nor speak their language."

Posted by: Anonosaurus Wrecks, Doppelganger To the Stars! at August 28, 2017 10:03 PM (Nwg0u)

463 Blazing Saddles just starting on TCM

Posted by: steevy at August 28, 2017 10:03 PM (rmVvL)

464 Well as you say he is a scientist. He's probably not thinking "hey maybe my wife was banging other dudes." He was probably thinking along the lines of "I wonder how accurate these DNA tests are and how my two kids wind up comparing to me and my wife."
Posted by: buzzion at August 28, 2017 09:57 PM (z/Ubi)


Yeah, I'd like to think that, but I don't think he thought it through that far.

When he was telling us about the DNA tests, my wife and I exchanged looks. Afterwards, she voiced the obvious first thought: how do you know the company actually tested your DNA, as opposed to generated a 21st century version of a horoscope?

I nodded, and then pointed out my second thought: why would you test yourself and your wife, AND your kids? And if you suspected that they weren't necessarily yours, why would you tell anyone else that?

Posted by: Deplorable Jay Guevara at August 28, 2017 10:03 PM (SRKgf)

465 "Get the poison out"

Bubba puts down the phone, turns to his friend, shakes his head sadly, and says, "Sorry. Doctor says you're gonna die."

Posted by: Just The Punchline at August 28, 2017 10:03 PM (ujwCG)

466 Prediction: Many flim-flam 'contractors' to arrive in Texas.

Posted by: Mike Hammer, etc., etc. at August 28, 2017 10:04 PM (/ZEVC)

467 that hitting the Bozo Button (as a friend called it) can really light a gal up.

---

So I amuse you like I'm a CLOWN?

Posted by: Tommy DeVigino at August 28, 2017 10:04 PM (vChNs)

468 457 Here's a 3D printed model of the whole clitoris. Most of it is internal.

http://www.zmescience.com/science/news-science/3d-
printing-clitoris-16092016/

Remove the line feed.

It's not the ONT, so's I'd better not elaborate. But there is as much erectile tissue in the thing as Mr. Happy, it's just all internal mostly.

Posted by: publius, the Persistent Poperin Pear at August 28, 2017 10:02 PM (8O3HH)

Hmmm. Do you have the source code for that? Asking for a friend n

Posted by: Insomniac at August 28, 2017 10:04 PM (0mRoj)

469 459. I confess - it was a piece of good fortune for me that my first lover was an older woman. A young man could do far worse.

Posted by: Your Decidedly Devious Uncle Palpatine. All Honor & Glory to Kekistan! at August 28, 2017 10:04 PM (fA1SL)

470 467 that hitting the Bozo Button (as a friend called it) can really light a gal up.

---

So I amuse you like I'm a CLOWN?
Posted by: Tommy DeVigino at August 28, 2017 10:04 PM (vChNs)



You're clearly a little man in a boat.

Posted by: buzzion at August 28, 2017 10:05 PM (z/Ubi)

471 "Require" is misleading. "Fastest" or "most direct" might be more appropriate.

Some (not all) women can orgasm from breast and nipple attention.

Posted by: Alec Leamas at August 28, 2017 10:05 PM (g8OaB)

472 469 459. I confess - it was a piece of good fortune for me that my first lover was an older woman. A young man could do far worse.
Posted by: Your Decidedly Devious Uncle Palpatine. All Honor & Glory to Kekistan! at August 28, 2017 10:04 PM (fA1SL)



Atta boy.

Posted by: Ben Franklin at August 28, 2017 10:05 PM (z/Ubi)

473 Well as you say he is a scientist. He's probably not thinking "hey maybe my wife was banging other dudes." He was probably thinking along the lines of "I wonder how accurate these DNA tests are and how my two kids wind up comparing to me and my wife."
Posted by: buzzion at August 28, 2017 09:57 PM (z/Ubi)


Now here's a scientist's thought: submit the same samples several times in a blind test and see how reproducible they are. A much better experiment, no?

Posted by: Deplorable Jay Guevara at August 28, 2017 10:05 PM (SRKgf)

474 469 459. I confess - it was a piece of good fortune for me that my first lover was an older woman. A young man could do far worse.
Posted by: Your Decidedly Devious Uncle Palpatine. All Honor & Glory to Kekistan! at August 28, 2017 10:04 PM (fA1SL)

So she was 17?

Posted by: Northernlurker, Phillips screwdriver of the gods at August 28, 2017 10:06 PM (nBr1j)

475
Didn't I read that the courts these days will assign you "dad" if you're a decent guy and take care of the kid even if the actual father is known and you're not married to the mother?

Pretty spooky to think of how easily you can blow half your paycheck just by being a decent guy.
Posted by: Moron Robbie - SJWs Destroyed My Garden Because I Grew Heritage Tomatoes at August 28, 2017 10:01 PM (q6r6w)


Those cases involved men who wer more than just "decent guys" they were often playing dad for years, often when the children were very young and so imprinted on the man.

Posted by: Colorado Alex In Exile at August 28, 2017 10:06 PM (Tnhbr)

476 I nodded, and then pointed out my second thought: why would you test yourself and your wife, AND your kids? And if you suspected that they weren't necessarily yours, why would you tell anyone else that?
Posted by: Deplorable Jay Guevara at August 28, 2017 10:03 PM (SRKgf)

There is a lot of naivete and "it could never happen to me" thinking out there. I'm not saying it applies to your friend as I have no idea, but it's not uncommon.

Posted by: Insomniac at August 28, 2017 10:06 PM (0mRoj)

477 It's not the ONT, so's I'd better not elaborate. But there is as much erectile tissue in the thing as Mr. Happy, it's just all internal mostly.

Posted by: publius, the Persistent Poperin Pear


Captain Janeway's Enterprise.

Posted by: Steve and Cold Bear at August 28, 2017 10:06 PM (/qEW2)

478 448 >>Posted by: Jack Sock

How you doing down there?
Posted by: JackStraw at August 28, 2017 09:57 PM (/tuJf)

Like I'm on death row waiting for the governor's call.

Of course not that bad because it's just a house and stuff that can be replaced but watching the water get closer and closer and living and dying by listening how light or hard the rain is falling is mentally tiring. I realize there are thousands that wished they had that problem. Thanks for asking.

Posted by: Jack Sock at August 28, 2017 10:06 PM (LuKE7)

479 Now here's a scientist's thought: submit the same samples several times in a blind test and see how reproducible they are. A much better experiment, no?
Posted by: Deplorable Jay Guevara at August 28, 2017 10:05 PM (SRKgf)



Well yeah, but then again he was also dumb enough to tell you all what he was doing.

Posted by: buzzion at August 28, 2017 10:07 PM (z/Ubi)

480 474 469 459. I confess - it was a piece of good fortune for me that my first lover was an older woman. A young man could do far worse.
Posted by: Your Decidedly Devious Uncle Palpatine. All Honor & Glory to Kekistan! at August 28, 2017 10:04 PM (fA1SL)

So she was 17?
Posted by: Northernlurker, Phillips screwdriver of the gods at August 28, 2017 10:06 PM (nBr1j)

Yeeeeaahhh!!!

Posted by: Winger at August 28, 2017 10:07 PM (0mRoj)

481 >> Captain Janeway's Enterprise.

Captain Janeway, Kate Mulgrew, "Mrs. Columbo" has a most unfortunate voice.

The effect of that voice on me is to reverse any engorgement of erectile tissue. Boom, Mr. Happy is trying to shrink up and hide.

Posted by: publius, the Persistent Poperin Pear at August 28, 2017 10:08 PM (8O3HH)

482 "Clitoris"

"Atlantis"

" DIonysius"

Posted by: Mortimer - Finish Her! at August 28, 2017 10:08 PM (2wRtc)

483 Bubba puts down the phone, turns to his friend, shakes his head sadly, and says, "Sorry. Doctor says you're gonna die."
Posted by: Just The Punchline
-------

Heh. Saw 'Father Goose' on TCM the other day. Cary Grant at one point cuts Leslie Caron's leg and sucks out 'venom'. Immediately after, he seeks aid via radio. Trevor Howard tells him, "Whatever you do, don't try to suck the venom out."

Posted by: Mike Hammer, etc., etc. at August 28, 2017 10:09 PM (/ZEVC)

484 We did a google search for "clitoris" and got some interesting responses. Especially in Google Images.

More after this commercial message.

Posted by: CNN Looking to up their ratings at August 28, 2017 10:09 PM (uQ9oA)

485 >> Hmmm. Do you have the source code for that?

Some gal, who promotes "cliteracy" makes jewelry of it. You can get an internal clit shaped ring.

Need to make a "clit hat" to go along with pussy hats or something.

Posted by: publius, the Persistent Poperin Pear at August 28, 2017 10:10 PM (8O3HH)

486 Has anyone ever asked Obama if a man can have an orgasm by taking it up the chute?

Posted by: Toad-O at August 28, 2017 10:10 PM (cct0t)

487 My favorite warlord of the Chinese civil wars:

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Zhang_Zongchang

-
he was thrown into the spotlight again when he "accidentally" shot Prince Xiankai, a cousin of the deposed emperor Puyi. According to Zhang the gun he was holding while standing at his hotel window happened to go off and shoot the young prince in the back, killing him instantly, though it was more likely he killed the playboy prince for dallying with one of Zhang's many concubines. He was charged, found guilty by a Japanese court and given the choice between 15 days' imprisonment or a $150 (US) fine. He chose the fine.[5]

Posted by: Anonosaurus Wrecks, Doppelganger To the Stars! at August 28, 2017 10:10 PM (Nwg0u)

488

Hey, how come this little man man in the boat has 'Tidy Bowl' on his shirt?

Posted by: In Vino Veritits at August 28, 2017 10:11 PM (qul7b)

489 Jack Sock - Prayers. I wish that there was something I could do.

Posted by: Mike Hammer, etc., etc. at August 28, 2017 10:11 PM (/ZEVC)

490 Why would anyone bother looking for a "clitoris"?

Better to spend your time figuring out where they store all the angry. And crazy.

Posted by: Mortimer - Finish Her! at August 28, 2017 10:12 PM (2wRtc)

491
Remember that ONT story one night about the poor dude in Germany. His neighbor *paid him* to bang his wife to get her pregnant, because his little tadpoles weren't up to the job.

The dude banged her 60 times with no effect. So's he goes to the doc. Turned out he was infertile as well. Then he found his own children weren't his, cause it was impossible and his wife had to 'fess up.

Posted by: publius, the Persistent Poperin Pear at August 28, 2017 10:12 PM (8O3HH)

492 Better to spend your time figuring out where they store all the angry. And crazy.

Same place we do, I suspect.

Posted by: Grey Fox at August 28, 2017 10:13 PM (bZ7mE)

493 >>Like I'm on death row waiting for the governor's call.

I can imagine. Wish I could say something more profound than good luck.

Stay safe.

Posted by: JackStraw at August 28, 2017 10:13 PM (/tuJf)

494 Well yeah, but then again he was also dumb enough to tell you all what he was doing.
Posted by: buzzion at August 28, 2017 10:07 PM (z/Ubi)


Yeah, I was surprised by that, frankly. There were only two possibilities: either he thought his kids might not all be his, or he hadn't thought this through at all.

My wife guessed my first reaction - how does he know the tests aren't bullshit? - but not the second: why would you test your kids as well, AND tell others that you'd done so?

In fairness, he's a very close friend, and has been for many, many years. Still, I can't imagine he'd tell me he suspected one or more of his kids wasn't his.

The simple solution, if he thought that: just talk the results for himself and his wife. End of story.

Posted by: Deplorable Jay Guevara at August 28, 2017 10:13 PM (SRKgf)

495 Remember that ONT story one night about the poor dude in Germany. His neighbor *paid him* to bang his wife to get her pregnant, because his little tadpoles weren't up to the job.

The dude banged her 60 times with no effect. So's he goes to the doc. Turned out he was infertile as well. Then he found his own children weren't his, cause it was impossible and his wife had to 'fess up.


Wasn't that proven to be an urban legend?

Posted by: Grey Fox at August 28, 2017 10:14 PM (bZ7mE)

496 Remember that ONT story one night about the poor dude in Germany. His neighbor *paid him* to bang his wife to get her pregnant, because his little tadpoles weren't up to the job.

The dude banged her 60 times with no effect. So's he goes to the doc. Turned out he was infertile as well. Then he found his own children weren't his, cause it was impossible and his wife had to 'fess up.
Posted by: publius, the Persistent Poperin Pear at August 28, 2017 10:12 PM (8O3HH)



This explains so much about contemporary Germany.

Posted by: Deplorable Jay Guevara at August 28, 2017 10:14 PM (SRKgf)

497 Captain Janeway, Kate Mulgrew, "Mrs. Columbo" has a most unfortunate voice.

Posted by: publius, the Persistent Poperin Pear at August 28, 2017 10:08 PM (8O3HH)


Like a chipmunk on steroids.

Posted by: OregonMuse, AoSHQ Thought Leader at August 28, 2017 10:17 PM (bjWNl)

498 As always, thanks for the positive thoughts and prayers.

Posted by: Jack Sock at August 28, 2017 10:19 PM (LuKE7)

499 450 GOPe heartthrob Bruce Rauner joyfully signs bill making Illinois a sanctuary state.

I thankfully do not have a vote for him on my conscience

http://preview.tinyurl.com/yaf8unj6
Posted by: Methos at August 28, 2017 09:59 PM (XQvuQ)

in the meantime, middle class taxpayers are fleeing the state as fast as they can.

Yeah, this will work out real well for the flatlanders.

Posted by: Donna&&&&&&V : The Brewers beat the Dodgers Yay! at August 28, 2017 10:20 PM (P8951)

500 Turns out, the writer is (nominally) a man, and a rather older man,
who... well, if he's missed the plot on the clitoris all his life, I
have to assume he hasn't explored that particular studio space very often.



Oh, Man. I come here for the lulz.

Posted by: redclay at August 28, 2017 10:23 PM (nVN5G)

501 Well my link of Sam Kinison at 441 was pretty funny in the first 5 minutes (the part I watched before posting) and pretty depressing after that. I apologize if anyone else watched it.

Posted by: X-ray at August 28, 2017 10:47 PM (ZKWca)

502 Most of these post millennial types and Wallies couldn't find a ClIt with a road map. Article is CLITBAIT.

Posted by: Clitbait at August 28, 2017 10:51 PM (x+NLL)

503 Nailed it on the pre-teen sexualization. But, it's not meant for pre-teen on pre-teen sex, at least not primarily. It's meant to aid in laying the foundation for "inter-generational intimacy" (legalized and "cultural normed pedophilia and pederasty).

It's also part of the growing feminazi program to agitprop for all PIV (Penis In Vagina) sex to be legally classified as rape regardless of consent given.

Posted by: Grimmy at August 28, 2017 10:56 PM (ovxwt)

504 There's a lot of young men that spend all their time playing computer games. Not only do they not know where the clitoris is they don't know how to say hi to a girl.

Posted by: Porter at August 28, 2017 10:58 PM (ZuGkg)

505 the Bozo Button

the Palpatine Emperor

The Bos'n in the Boat

Treyvon in a Hoodie

The Pepto Bismol Button (coz it's pink and glistening)

Posted by: Denouncing Myself since 1968 at August 28, 2017 11:14 PM (611Lm)

506 Not surprising Anderson Cooper and Don Lemon are ignorant of female sexual needs -- and Shep Smith over at Fox too.

Posted by: Kebas at August 28, 2017 11:25 PM (3DtPx)

Posted by: Vic We Have No Party at August 29, 2017 03:57 AM (mpXpK)

508 I've said all my life that there is no reason for sex to result in pregnancy. That there were ways to have loads of great sex and not make a baby.

Posted by: deepred at August 29, 2017 08:36 AM (8oULY)

509 Reminds me of an old joke:

Q: What does it take to satisfy a woman?

A: Who cares?

Posted by: sniffybigtoe at August 29, 2017 09:19 AM (xfb67)

510 "What do you mean, it's on the front? You can't have sex with that side. I wouldn't insult your intelligence to even suggest it."

- Don Lemon

Posted by: George LeS at August 29, 2017 11:31 AM (+TcCF)

511 Finger lickin' good Filet-O-Fish....waiter there is a hair in my sammich CLIT Eastwood from the good the bad and the UGLY.

Posted by: saf at August 29, 2017 02:42 PM (cS/ge)

(Jump to top of page)






Processing 0.05, elapsed 0.0664 seconds.
15 queries taking 0.0292 seconds, 520 records returned.
Page size 239 kb.
Powered by Minx 0.8 beta.



MuNuvians
MeeNuvians
Polls! Polls! Polls!

Real Clear Politics
Gallup
Frequently Asked Questions
The (Almost) Complete Paul Anka Integrity Kick
Top Top Tens
Greatest Hitjobs

The Ace of Spades HQ Sex-for-Money Skankathon
A D&D Guide to the Democratic Candidates
Margaret Cho: Just Not Funny
More Margaret Cho Abuse
Margaret Cho: Still Not Funny
Iraqi Prisoner Claims He Was Raped... By Woman
Wonkette Announces "Morning Zoo" Format
John Kerry's "Plan" Causes Surrender of Moqtada al-Sadr's Militia
World Muslim Leaders Apologize for Nick Berg's Beheading
Michael Moore Goes on Lunchtime Manhattan Death-Spree
Milestone: Oliver Willis Posts 400th "Fake News Article" Referencing Britney Spears
Liberal Economists Rue a "New Decade of Greed"
Artificial Insouciance: Maureen Dowd's Word Processor Revolts Against Her Numbing Imbecility
Intelligence Officials Eye Blogs for Tips
They Done Found Us Out, Cletus: Intrepid Internet Detective Figures Out Our Master Plan
Shock: Josh Marshall Almost Mentions Sarin Discovery in Iraq
Leather-Clad Biker Freaks Terrorize Australian Town
When Clinton Was President, Torture Was Cool
What Wonkette Means When She Explains What Tina Brown Means
Wonkette's Stand-Up Act
Wankette HQ Gay-Rumors Du Jour
Here's What's Bugging Me: Goose and Slider
My Own Micah Wright Style Confession of Dishonesty
Outraged "Conservatives" React to the FMA
An On-Line Impression of Dennis Miller Having Sex with a Kodiak Bear
The Story the Rightwing Media Refuses to Report!
Our Lunch with David "Glengarry Glen Ross" Mamet
The House of Love: Paul Krugman
A Michael Moore Mystery (TM)
The Dowd-O-Matic!
Liberal Consistency and Other Myths
Kepler's Laws of Liberal Media Bias
John Kerry-- The Splunge! Candidate
"Divisive" Politics & "Attacks on Patriotism" (very long)
The Donkey ("The Raven" parody)
News/Chat