When Your Business Is Everyone's Business [Warden]

Last Sunday was a perfectly gorgeous evening with temperatures in the high 60's. My 11 year old son started football last week and had a 6pm practice scheduled, so I decided to stick around, enjoy the weather and watch him play.

On Friday I'd bought a cigar, my first one of the year. I used to smoke them fairly regularly, but high taxes combines with spotty quality have made them a once-in-a-great-while type of thing for me. This one was an Arturo Fuente. A mid-range cigar that ran me a little less than nine bucks.

Cigars don't do well outside of a humidor, so I decided that Sunday was the perfect time and place to fire that thing up. So I positioned myself about 40 yards from the football team and lit my smoke.

I was about 5 minutes into this rare treat when an obese woman approaches me with a smile and says, "Excuse me. Do you mind not smoking that in front of the kids?"

I pause. Did I hear that right?

In front of the kids? What the hell does that mean? I'm 40 yards away and they're busy practicing. How can this possibly be an issue for anyone?

"What's the problem?" I ask, "You worried that the smoke is going to drift all the way down there and somehow get into someone's lungs?"

"Well, I can smell it all the way from my car, and I just don't think kids should have to smell that while they're trying to practice."

I'm a pretty low drama guy. I don't enjoy conflict just for the sake of it, but I also have the kind of temper that can send me from zero to WAR in seconds. I don't want a scene. It's not worth a scene. But I'm also pissed off that this woman is using kids as a shield to deflect from the fact that it's her who has a problem with the cigar, not anyone else.

I smile--no way am I starting a drama--and then slowly, with an edge of contempt say, "I'll move down a little."

I move off another 30 yards, finish my cigar 40 minutes later and then ask the coaches if they need any help. They do and then, just to fuck with her, I start working one-on-one with her kid.

Did I mention he's obese like his mom? He is. The coaches are working with the line and a couple of kids keep jumping the snap count. When this happens, they punish everyone with grass drills. Except this poor kid can't do them any longer. He's too out of shape.

So now he's sobbing.

I feel bad for him. True, I was messing with his mom's head, but I was also legitimately trying to help him because 1) I love football. 2) I like an underdog. 3) Kids don't get to pick their parents.

His mom? She's a progressive. I'd lay my last dollar on it. My wife and I often play spot the leftie and she's definitely got the look--that sloppy, ratty haired, no makeup, I-demand-you-think-I'm-beautiful-even-thought-I leave-the-house-wearing-grey-sweatpants-why-should-I-have-to-even-try look of the modern day, middle class, feminist asshole. Add the self righteous, busy-body behavior and it's a lock.

And now I want to wring her cow-like neck.

This useless waste of space has an 11 year old son who is so unhealthy that physical exertion makes him wheeze and cry and she's taking MY INVENTORY on smoking a cigar?

She's trying to shame me? A grown ass man enjoying a perfectly legal product and minding his own damn business? And then she's so goddamned gutless that she pretends it's about the kids? (I asked my son later if he could smell it and he said no.)

Here's what's going on. It's the same thing that's going on with all of these leftists. This woman's house isn't in order and she knows it. But she's too gutless and dishonest to face the fact that she's got some shortcomings that need to be addressed, so she busies herself with trying to fix someone else's perceived shortcomings.

She has a pre-diabetic kid who's a few years away from blood pressure meds and a couple of bad knees and she's responsible for it. He doesn't do the grocery shopping, prepare the meals and set the lifestyle example; she does.

The coaches are calling the boy "Big Nick." Being overweight is already his identity. On this course, he will literally never know what it's like to be healthy.

Oh, but the cigar and how I'm harming those kids. Let's put a stop to that.

So she got her big victory for today, the deflection that lifts all the guilt from her shoulders. Meanwhile her kid is standing there sobbing while everyone around him hits the dirt.

Mine certainly isn't. I worked out with him all summer to get him in shape for the season and the coaches are praising him.

Not that this makes me the perfect parent. But here's what I do right: I mind my own store instead of spending all my time snooping in the stores of others looking for health code violations that I can report to the authorities.

Because that's how you improve. That's how you make the world better, by being better yourself. You don't do it by spending all your time criticizing others.

Mote, eye, beam, eye... you get the idea.

And this, I think, is at the very heart of the social dysfunction we're seeing today. If people threw a fraction of the energy they spend on "correcting" others into improving themselves, the world would look very different indeed.

Eric Hoffer, author of The True Believer, bitingly observed that "A man is likely to mind his own business when it is worth minding. When it is not, he takes his mind off his own meaningless affairs by minding other people's business."

It's as true today as ever. Maybe more so because it's encouraged from and rewarded by a virtue signaling Cult of Self that has made I'm Good and You're Bad the very glue that holds its adherents together and binds them as one.

Posted by: Open Blogger at 08:47 PM

Comments

(Jump to bottom of comments)

1 but I also have the kind of temper that can send me from zero to WAR in seconds
==

Preach, brother.

Posted by: Mortimer - Finish Her! at August 09, 2017 08:36 PM (2wRtc)

2 Here's what's going on. It's the same thing that's going on with all of these leftists. This woman's house isn't in order and she knows it.
But she's too gutless and dishonest to face the fact that she's got
some shortcomings that need to be addressed, so she busies herself with
trying to fix someone else's perceived shortcomings.
==

That is one stunningly effective summary of these totalitarian fcuks.

Warden , bringing the KILL.

Posted by: Mortimer - Finish Her! at August 09, 2017 08:38 PM (2wRtc)

3 What a thoughtful and well-written piece. I feel sorry for that woman's son. Poor guy.

Posted by: GuyfromNH at August 09, 2017 08:39 PM (Gs5TH)

4 I'm surprised she lets her son play football.

Posted by: Insomniac at August 09, 2017 08:40 PM (0mRoj)

5 Warden, I mean this 100% as a compliment- no one can do a rant like you can. Great piece.

Posted by: bluebell at August 09, 2017 08:41 PM (UoSKV)

6 Good post, Warden.

And any thread that's not talking about Game of Thrones is a good thread.

Posted by: rickl at August 09, 2017 08:41 PM (sdi6R)

7 it's lose/lose with this trash.

play the drama game, simply by telling them to "fuck off", and they milk the martyrdom

let them have their way and they keep doing it.

as long as you have the energy for it, I'd say go with a simple "fuck off" and then ignore them from there.

Posted by: Grad School Fool at August 09, 2017 08:41 PM (swEzU)

8 You're a better man than me. BTW, $9? AF 'Short Story' or 'Best Seller'?

Posted by: CrotchetyOldJarhead at August 09, 2017 08:42 PM (iIma1)

9 6; this. thanks.

Posted by: chavez the hugo at August 09, 2017 08:42 PM (KP5rU)

10 This is a great illustration of the progressive mindset.

Perpetual concern about what YOU are doing.

Posted by: San Franpsycho at August 09, 2017 08:43 PM (EZebt)

11 I've always liked the way cigars smelled and so do a lot of other people. I would have told her to mind her own business and enjoyed the rest of the day.

Posted by: freaked at August 09, 2017 08:44 PM (BO/km)

12 About 15 years ago I was enjoying a baseball game at Candlestick Park with a group of friends (some conservatives, some libertarians, and some leftists).

I cracked-up those belonging to the first two groups when -- upon spying an extremely obese 10-year-old (1) following his extremely obese mother walking up the aisle, (2) holding an inverted plastic baseball full of hot fudge sundae, and (3) whining and crying about something -- I shouted "There goes a future Democrat."

Posted by: ShainS at August 09, 2017 08:45 PM (ZcAbN)

13 handled it better than i would have warden. i'll leave it at that.

Posted by: chavez the hugo at August 09, 2017 08:45 PM (KP5rU)

14 You could have told her to go fast herself.

Posted by: freaked at August 09, 2017 08:46 PM (BO/km)

15 Warden - outstanding.

Posted by: rhomboid at August 09, 2017 08:46 PM (QDnY+)

16 My BIL told me this story. He goes to have his scheduled teeth cleaning. On the way there, he smokes a cigarette. He goes in and waits 15 minutes . When it's time, the dental assistant , smelling smoke on him says, " Did you just smoke?" He says yes and is then told that the girl who will be cleaning his teeth is pregnant and doesn't want her baby to be exposed to "smoke."
He basically said Fuck You and left.

Posted by: JoeF. at August 09, 2017 08:48 PM (89VjS)

17 As a smoker, I totally relate to this and have experienced it first hand.

I once worked an election precinct at a school and got that "on school grounds" lecture from some busybody. Mind you the school was out and there were no kids there, but I managed to choke back the instinctual "What is this, hallowed f*cking ground?" comment that immediately came to mind.

Instead, I walked down to he entrance of the parking lot where everybody was coming and going and puffed it up. The lady drove out and gave me a nasty look so I gave her the biggest sh*t-eating grin I could muster and waved my Trump/Pence sign at her with cigarette in my lips and a big thumbs up.

There is more than one way to say f*ck off.

Posted by: Malcolm Tent at August 09, 2017 08:48 PM (GiRFl)

18 "Excuse me ma'am, your child is practicing and you really should be watching him. Kindly piss off."

Posted by: CrotchetyOldJarhead at August 09, 2017 08:49 PM (iIma1)

19 10 This is a great illustration of the progressive mindset.

Blue laws, dry counties, locking someone up for smoking weed...

There's a whole lotta folks out there worried that someone might be having more fun than you.

Posted by: GnuBreed at August 09, 2017 08:49 PM (6jaju)

20 Obese youngsters is one of the most depressing things I see in today's Amurika.

Many wheels turning here, yes. But still.

As for authoritarians, fortunately I can't recall the last time I had a direct conflict with one.

But the authoritarian/submissive mindset - pretty much the theoretical opposite of what was the American mindset of individual freedom and responsibility - seems now dominant in "the ramparts" of the civic culture.

Which is infinitely more disturbing, and consequential, than child obesity.

Posted by: rhomboid at August 09, 2017 08:50 PM (QDnY+)

21 Spot on analysis, Warden. I suspect this will not be your last drama that she plays a star role in this season.

Posted by: RM at August 09, 2017 08:50 PM (eP+dt)

22 My son was asked to mentor a boy (4 years younger -18 vs 14) by the kids gramma because dad was absent and mom was not getting it done. Kid was big (really hadn't yet grown into his size, only 14), but gotta love gramma's focus.

Gramma paid my son so he spent time with the kid and tried to do physical stuff with him, work out, bike, walk, etc. kid wasn't that ready, wanted to do video games, sloth stuff.

My son did it for a summer. Hated it. Gramma wanted him to do it the next summer and my son said "sorry too busy". To me he said "no way... moms a mess, no dad to kick him in the ass figuratively and be an example, and I wish gramma well but he needs more...

Same kind of situation. I just felt bad for the kid. Not really his fault. Hoping the good influences in his life ultimately break thru and impact him more than the bad influences/ lack of good influences.

Posted by: Kids can't pick their parents at August 09, 2017 08:51 PM (NvR8r)

23 You could tell her that she needs to exercise and lose some weight.

Posted by: dantesed at August 09, 2017 08:51 PM (88xKn)

24 My spouse and I have been lamenting the state of civilized social discourse/conduct daily as of late. It is very hot and we live a lake lifestyle year round.

Within the last 8 years or so, boat manufacturers have brought the bar scene to the lake, with amplified sound blaring out of loudspeakers pointed away from the inhabitants of the boat and toward the shore. You can hear the thump of the base and the lyrics from a mile away. Additionally, the music is in many cases, rap and quite obscene. The setting of a pristine lake and the overlay of obnoxiousness is beyond the pale.

We have taken it to be our business and are attempting to pass a county wide ordinance to lay some hefty fines on noise violation. In absence of law, we have taken it on as our mission to hound and humiliate serious offenders.

Are we busybodies not minding our own house? or are we trying to preserve what we grew up with and prevent yet one more rape of what was once beautiful and peaceful?

I hate this conflict culture. Why can't people discern what is obnoxious, infringement, and down right bullying in order to impose their shallow culture, versus preservation of the good and beautiful?

What is none of my business? I have no opinion on the cigar smoke, fwiw, my response would be to remove myself from the area if I were bothered. You can't do that in some cases, and someone must yield, or the other prevail.

Its hot, I'm pissed and I'm sick and tired of boorish behavior.

Posted by: derak at August 09, 2017 08:52 PM (pHdfe)

25 We've come a long way from being exposed to smoking virtually everywhere to people worrying about a wafting of exhaled smoke that might pass beneath the precious nostrils of some little precious.

Posted by: JoeF. at August 09, 2017 08:52 PM (89VjS)

26 I would have said blow it out your ass, you're lucky I'm not smoking a joint.

Posted by: Berserker- Dragonheads Division at August 09, 2017 08:53 PM (aMlLZ)

27 I liked your essay, but there is one big problem. I'm perfect, so there are no more improvements to be made in my own life. It's a burden, but I will endeavor to persevere.

Posted by: pep at August 09, 2017 08:53 PM (LAe3v)

28 LOL the Panthers threw a touchdown pass...

... to the Texans.

Posted by: boulder terlit hobo at August 09, 2017 08:53 PM (OESm1)

29
Without straining too much, the tale of Lena "Stasi" Dunham fits into this same mold.

Posted by: Krebs v Carnot: Epic Battle of the Cycling Stars (TM) at August 09, 2017 08:54 PM (pNxlR)

30 Sorry Ma'am, sometimes a cigar is just a cigar. Please get your mind out of the gutter.

Posted by: Burnt Toast at August 09, 2017 08:54 PM (P/kVC)

31 Warden - great piece. Should have told her the cigar was non-gmo.

Posted by: Quilter's Irish Death at August 09, 2017 08:54 PM (ZRytP)

32 There's a whole lotta folks out there worried that someone might be having more fun than you.
Posted by: GnuBreed at August 09, 2017 08:49 PM (6jaju)

===

I can guarantee most everyone is having more fun than me.

Posted by: San Franpsycho at August 09, 2017 08:54 PM (EZebt)

33 I'd blame it on Bill Clinton.

Posted by: Northernlurker, who sometimes skulks. at August 09, 2017 08:55 PM (hJrjt)

34 You're all haters. And I overheard you say you hated all black people, and I'm gonna tell the coach on you.

Posted by: Lena Dunham at August 09, 2017 08:55 PM (mvyKt)

35 Next time she won't talk to you. She'll go straight to summoning men with guns

Posted by: Moron Robbie, Not Quite as Low-IQ as Michael Obama, But Not as Smart as Some Birds at August 09, 2017 08:55 PM (psH+N)

36 You should've asked Ms. Busy Body to go be fat somewhere else since she's normalizing obesity and setting a bad example for all the kids within eyeshot.

Do it for the children!

Posted by: ChicagoRefugee at August 09, 2017 08:55 PM (yXHpa)

37 I liked your essay, but there is one big problem. I'm perfect, so there
are no more improvements to be made in my own life. It's a burden, but
I will endeavor to persevere.

Posted by: pep at August 09, 2017 08:56 PM (LAe3v)

38 Speaking of smoking, where the H is the massive public education campaign informing the public about the health risks of weed? Complete with 1930s Germany-worthy demonization of pot businesses?

Posted by: rhomboid at August 09, 2017 08:56 PM (QDnY+)

39 The topic tonight at Bible study was Anger. One of the points that he made was that it's okay to get angry, as long as you don't sin. Even God had wrath at times.
So, it sounds to me like you handled your anger well. You channeled it into something positive - helping the child, even if you didn't realize that's what you were doing.
We don't have to attend every argument to which we are invited.
I struggle with this myself on a daily basis sometimes. Thank you for sharing this. I found it very helpful.

Posted by: ALH at August 09, 2017 08:56 PM (f73RN)

40 You could tell her that she needs to exercise and lose some weight.

Or, "Have another doughnut, you fat pig."

Posted by: tu3031 at August 09, 2017 08:56 PM (qJhUV)

41 I work across the street from a softball field and a Hispanic league plays there every night during the summer months. Now there's basically two sets of bleachers there so the place doesn't seat too many spectators. but these wannabes have to have their own theme music when they come to bat like it's Yankee Stadium. It's loud and obnoxious in the way that only Spanish music is....

Posted by: JoeF. at August 09, 2017 08:57 PM (89VjS)

42 The only time it's appropriate to stick one's nose into another's business is if the other is unknowingly doing something likely to injure or kill him. Other than that, minding one's own bees' wax is the way to go.

Posted by: RS at August 09, 2017 08:57 PM (CNQqJ)

43 You want to smoke? Go for it.

I just want to be able to walk outside once in a while without smelling it.

Posted by: Blanco Basura at August 09, 2017 08:57 PM (MPtck)

44 Dude. The only response this woman deserved was an audible fart. And maybe a puff exhaled in her direction.

Posted by: Fritz at August 09, 2017 08:58 PM (eLttb)

45 41 besbal been beddy beddy good to me

Posted by: Quilter's Irish Death at August 09, 2017 09:00 PM (ZRytP)

46 This reminds me of an incident about twenty-some years ago.

I went to a John Prine concert with a friend. It was at an open-air amphitheater under a roof. During the show I lit a cigarette.

The guy to the left of me got in my face and said, "I didn't pay for this ticket and drive all this way to smell your cigarette!" I grumbled a bit but put it out.

Keep in mind that at the time there was *no* prohibition against smoking at that venue. It was open-air, not an enclosed room. Some people were smoking cigarettes and some were smoking pot.

So about 10 minutes later, between songs, John Prine himself lit up a cigarette on stage. He was also talking but I don't remember what he said. I leaned over to my friend on the right and said, loudly, "I'm so glad he said that. IT REALLY CALMED ME DOWN."

A few minutes later the jerk to my left leaned over and apologized for his outburst.

Posted by: rickl at August 09, 2017 09:01 PM (sdi6R)

47 35 Next time she won't talk to you. She'll go straight to summoning men with guns
Posted by: Moron Robbie, Not Quite as Low-IQ as Michael Obama, But Not as Smart as Some Birds at August 09, 2017 08:55 PM (psH+N)

She does seem the type.

Posted by: Insomniac at August 09, 2017 09:01 PM (0mRoj)

48
Moby? Moby, is that you?

Posted by: Krebs v Carnot: Epic Battle of the Cycling Stars (TM) at August 09, 2017 09:01 PM (pNxlR)

49 Maybe the obese woman was a single mom and she was trying to pick you up?

Posted by: JoeF. at August 09, 2017 09:01 PM (89VjS)

50
I dealt with the opposite of that woman this morning. In the folk's back yard, a big ol' pine tree had started leaning. In the past few weeks. Roots had given up the ghost one side. It was leaning at about 30 degrees off the vertical.

That was not a job I could handle. It was too close to a lot of stuff. So time to call a tree guy. I got one. He was a an ex-Marine, turned out. Well, I don't think they ever call themselves exes.

That dude came over here at 7:30 this morning. He was all muscle, short and stocky. He had two flunkies with him

That son of a gun shinnied up that tree like a monkey, using a some spike boots and some straps and ropes, carrying a damn saw with him using ropes. He started lopping of limbs like a wild mild, with the two flunkies dragging the off. Once he got the limbs, he topped it. Then shinned down and felled it, then chopped that up in lengths.

He was gone by 8:30AM. Made me feel worthless watching someone who could do that.

It took me and a flunky of mine nearly all day to clean up the pile they made.

Posted by: publius, the Persistent Poperin Pear at August 09, 2017 09:02 PM (8O3HH)

51 She'll go straight to summoning men with guns

"I don't feel safe..."

Posted by: boulder terlit hobo at August 09, 2017 09:02 PM (OESm1)

52 My mama is so fat, Mt. Everest tried to climb her!

Posted by: San Franpsycho at August 09, 2017 09:02 PM (EZebt)

53 BF Barry is a smokin' hot smoker!

Posted by: Reggie Love at August 09, 2017 09:04 PM (bc2Lc)

54 Maybe a box of donuts in the end zone would motivate him.

Posted by: Mr. Peebles at August 09, 2017 09:04 PM (oVJmc)

55 51 She'll go straight to summoning men with guns

"I don't feel safe..."
Posted by: boulder terlit hobo at August 09, 2017 09:02 PM (OESm1)

"There's a man with an incendiary device out here!"

Posted by: Insomniac at August 09, 2017 09:05 PM (0mRoj)

56 23 You could tell her that she needs to exercise and lose some weight.
Posted by: dantesed at August 09, 2017 08:51 PM (88xKn)

++
Especially since you are on talking terms and she opened the door for passing around judgments.

Posted by: washrivergal at August 09, 2017 09:05 PM (2+gSO)

57
Marie Harf is on The Five, I see. Talking dingbat stuff, of course. Hurricane through a screen door. Tornado through a trailer park.

Posted by: publius, the Persistent Poperin Pear at August 09, 2017 09:05 PM (8O3HH)

58 Moby? Moby, is that you?

Should've told her to call you Ishmael.

Posted by: tu3031 at August 09, 2017 09:05 PM (qJhUV)

59 Hey, if we're perfecting SOMEBODY, we get credit, right?

Posted by: Lena Dunham at August 09, 2017 09:06 PM (oVJmc)

60 Don't puff your stuff near my muff!

Posted by: Trigglypuff at August 09, 2017 09:07 PM (bc2Lc)

61 Maybe Ace is tired, tense, and irritable because he didn't eat for an entire fucking business week, goddamn.

Posted by: most deplorable Ghost of kari - certified sidebar at August 09, 2017 09:07 PM (nXCp4)

62 Ma'am, I find smoking helps me keep my weight down, perhaps you should try it for a year or two!

Posted by: Hrothgar at August 09, 2017 09:07 PM (gwPgz)

63 What's an acoustic attack? Is that something Yoko does?

Posted by: freaked at August 09, 2017 09:07 PM (BO/km)

64 Derak, I'm convinced the Left engineered this decline in civility so the State has to step in with rules and ordinances to ba the things they don't like. you can't go over and ask in a neighborly way, excuse me, can you turndown the music? Nope, there have to be noise ordinances to enforce rules.

Posted by: Donna and V. at August 09, 2017 09:08 PM (P8951)

65 rhomboid @38 -

Remember what Podesta said in one of those DNC emails:

"For decades we have conspired to ... create an unaware and compliant citizenry ... but compliance is obviously fading."

I hope this sufficiently answers your question

Posted by: ChicagoRefugee at August 09, 2017 09:08 PM (yXHpa)

66 38 Speaking of smoking, where the H is the massive public education campaign informing the public about the health risks of weed? Complete with 1930s Germany-worthy demonization of pot businesses?

Posted by: rhomboid at August 09, 2017 08:56 PM (QDnY+)

Man, it's big tobacco killing everyone man. My kush is organic and locally sourced man. Man, big tobacco makes you addicted to cigarettes man. Man, my sweet stinky weed is addiction free man.

Posted by: Two Bags at August 09, 2017 09:08 PM (1JnAL)

67 Go on, ask me how well cram-fasting works in middle age.

Posted by: carrie fisher at August 09, 2017 09:08 PM (OESm1)

68 Good Sir, you have inspired me to once again smoke a cigar! I may in fact smoke one next week under the stars whilst watching the meteor shower in Arkansas. Hey Honey,will you get my passport out of the safe?

Posted by: Eromero at August 09, 2017 09:08 PM (zLDYs)

69 Dr. Jordan Peterson would love this place. Just Sayin.....

Posted by: Widespread Pepe at August 09, 2017 09:08 PM (XFue2)

70 63 What's an acoustic attack? Is that something Yoko does?
Posted by: freaked at August 09, 2017 09:07 PM (BO/km)

Using an LRAD.

Posted by: Insomniac at August 09, 2017 09:08 PM (0mRoj)

71 Tell the obese mom that the cigar had been ... uh ... marinated, shall we say? ... under the supervision of a certain Democrat President, and how dare she come out of the closet as a Republican hater?

Posted by: Deplorable Jay Guevara at August 09, 2017 09:09 PM (SRKgf)

72 Well said!! I think this can also go along with something I posted a few weeks ago. People being recorded and then if they do something even remotely bad the whole damn world gets to see it and judge them and I am NOT okay with that shit. Hell I have had very bad days and yeah.. I took it out on the lady waiting on me at the grocery store or Kohl's or whatever.. and felt bad about it later. But it happens and the fact that someone may have recorded that shit then decided to put it on FB is bullshit. I hate this public shaming that people seem to enjoy.

Posted by: DeplorableJewells45 at August 09, 2017 09:09 PM (CNHr1)

73 I smoke like one cigar every four years. I might be due.

Posted by: boulder terlit hobo at August 09, 2017 09:09 PM (OESm1)

74 Maybe Ace is tired, tense, and irritable because he didn't eat for an entire fucking business week

What kinda crackpot theory is that?

Next you'll tell me not sleeping for 72 hours makes you loopy.

Posted by: Malcolm Tent at August 09, 2017 09:09 PM (GiRFl)

75 Alternatively, tell the fat bitch to fuck off.

Posted by: Deplorable Jay Guevara at August 09, 2017 09:09 PM (SRKgf)

76 67 Go on, ask me how well cram-fasting works in middle age.
Posted by: carrie fisher at August 09, 2017 09:08 PM (OESm1)

All that nose candy didnt exactly help you either.

Posted by: Insomniac at August 09, 2017 09:09 PM (0mRoj)

77 the cigar had been ... uh ... marinated, shall we say? ... under the supervision of a certain Democrat President

Hey, it's kosher! What is she, an anti-semite?

Posted by: boulder terlit hobo at August 09, 2017 09:10 PM (OESm1)

78 The fatties ruin sweatpants for everyone.

Posted by: NCKate at August 09, 2017 09:10 PM (s4tzN)

79

football season already

Toom Brady is 40!

Posted by: Soothsayer -- bolded because it's a good'un at August 09, 2017 09:11 PM (J0tQ5)

80 Well said!! I think this can also go along with something I posted a few weeks ago. People being recorded and then if they do something even remotely bad the whole damn world gets to see it and judge them

The "non-judgmental" liberals being the very worst at judging people. They just do it on things that aren't a big deal, and fail to do it on the things that are.

Posted by: Deplorable Jay Guevara at August 09, 2017 09:11 PM (SRKgf)

81 Speaking of nose candy, why do creative types - actors, musicians, artists - do so many fucking drugs?

Posted by: Insomniac at August 09, 2017 09:11 PM (0mRoj)

82 Not a fan of smoking. Been away from smokers for 2 decades now and so when I am around them now, the smell is very noticeable. That said, out in public, its a legal product, I certainly wouldn't walk up and say "Would you mind not smoking?" If it bothers me, I leave.

Posted by: Darth Randall at August 09, 2017 09:12 PM (v3DL/)

83 I'm gonna go on a limb here and predict the Texans will not be winning the Super Bowl this year.

Posted by: boulder terlit hobo at August 09, 2017 09:12 PM (OESm1)

84 Should've looked the fat bitch up and down appraisingly, and then said, "What do you weigh? 125, right? Per leg?

Posted by: Deplorable Jay Guevara at August 09, 2017 09:12 PM (SRKgf)

85 Posted by: DeplorableJewells45 at August 09, 2017 09:09 PM (CNHr1)

+++

It really is out of control and it all has a Gestapo feel to it.

Posted by: washrivergal at August 09, 2017 09:12 PM (2+gSO)

86
Texans are a perpetual 7-9, 8-8, or 9-7 team.

Posted by: Soothsayer -- bolded because it's a good'un at August 09, 2017 09:13 PM (J0tQ5)

87 Randall: yeah, I was never a fan of smoking either. But I got no problem with others doing it.

I guess I am more worried about second hand SJW than about second hand smoke.

Posted by: boulder terlit hobo at August 09, 2017 09:13 PM (OESm1)

88 Obesity will kill you faster than smoking the occasional stogie.

Posted by: Insomniac at August 09, 2017 09:13 PM (0mRoj)

89 Speaking of smoking, where the H is the massive public education campaign informing the public about the health risks of weed? Complete with 1930s Germany-worthy demonization of pot businesses?

What do you wanna bet the high school health class discussions of homosexuality aren't centered on rectal prolapse, rectal cancer, HPV, autoimmune disorders, and esophageal cancer?

Posted by: Malcolm Tent at August 09, 2017 09:13 PM (GiRFl)

90 84 Should've looked the fat bitch up and down appraisingly, and then said, "What do you weigh? 125, right? Per leg?
Posted by: Deplorable Jay Guevara at August 09, 2017 09:12 PM (SRKgf)

125? Kilograms, slugs... stone?

Posted by: Burnt Toast at August 09, 2017 09:13 PM (P/kVC)

91 75 Alternatively, tell the fat bitch to fuck off.

Posted by: Deplorable Jay Guevara
********

It's an option, of course. But consider that my kid is there.

Also, she has some overweight husband (my wife says) who might take issue with that. So now, what? We're gonna brawl? Pretty sure I'd win, but at what price?

I once mildly scolded a 6'8" friend for not handling an assholish drunk at a baseball game. He said, "Whenever I see that behavior, I think about how much I have to lose. And how little they do."

That said, we all have our limits and I'm no stranger to brawling.

Posted by: Warden at August 09, 2017 09:14 PM (MZ8Zz)

92 82 Not a fan of smoking. Been away from smokers for 2 decades now and so when I am around them now, the smell is very noticeable. That said, out in public, its a legal product, I certainly wouldn't walk up and say "Would you mind not smoking?" If it bothers me, I leave.
Posted by: Darth Randall at August 09, 2017 09:12 PM (v3DL/)

I don't like smoking either. I distinguish two canonical cases: 1) in an elevator, or other enclosed space, and 2) out in the open air.

#1 calls for the death penalty for the smoker. #2 calls for moving upwind by those who don't like smoke.

Posted by: Deplorable Jay Guevara at August 09, 2017 09:14 PM (SRKgf)

93 Excellent post--good insights!

Posted by: Sharon W at August 09, 2017 09:15 PM (Sw2bY)

94 It's an option, of course. But consider that my kid is there.

Also, she has some overweight husband (my wife says) who might take issue with that. So now, what? We're gonna brawl? Pretty sure I'd win, but at what price?

I once mildly scolded a 6'8" friend for not handling an assholish drunk at a baseball game. He said, "Whenever I see that behavior, I think about how much I have to lose. And how little they do."

That said, we all have our limits and I'm no stranger to brawling.

Posted by: Warden at August 09, 2017 09:14 PM (MZ8Zz)

Good point(s).

How about "I'll be sure to give your concerns all the attention they merit" and go back to smoking your cigar?

Posted by: Deplorable Jay Guevara at August 09, 2017 09:15 PM (SRKgf)

95 This is so spot on, and when you said you and your wife play 'spot the lib' it made me LOL. The boyfriend and I do that - the short haired driver of the Lesbaru? The man with the poorly groomed white beard and mustache and balding pate? Check!

I don't know how you resisted the urge to pull her aside and tell her that 'Big Nick' was in more danger from his poor diet than 40 yard cigar smoke. I don't know if I could have resisted!

Posted by: atomicplaygirl (Gab: atomicplaygirl) at August 09, 2017 09:16 PM (Gim9y)

96 I once mildly scolded a 6'8" friend for not handling an assholish drunk at a baseball game. He said, "Whenever I see that behavior, I think about how much I have to lose. And how little they do."

That said, we all have our limits and I'm no stranger to brawling.

Posted by: Warden at August 09, 2017 09:14 PM (MZ8Zz)

Break the wrist, walk away.

Posted by: Insomniac at August 09, 2017 09:16 PM (0mRoj)

97 Those type of women (people) should and need to be treated and regarded as the children that they are.

Posted by: Widespread Pepe at August 09, 2017 09:16 PM (XFue2)

98 I'm going to give you today's happy news: the Democrat/Progressive/Communists are well and truly fucked, electorally speaking.

You're welcome.

http://preview.tinyurl.com/y7zk72oh

Posted by: Barack Obama is a bad, bad man at August 09, 2017 09:16 PM (ylUqT)

99 What is none of my business?

Posted by: derak at August 09, 2017 08:52 PM (pHdfe)

====================

We had a couple of neighbors like that in an otherwise nice neighborhood who literally drove us out of there -- because the alternative was that somebody was going to end up very hurt or dead.

I think you're doing the right thing. One of the most disrespectful things one can do (ultimately owing to their own lack of self-respect as is common in narcissists) is pollute the environment of others -- be it littering or, especially today, intentionally outrageous noise. I first read about this phenomenon of incivility 30 years ago in a book by M. Scott Peck called "A World Waiting to Be Born: Civility Rediscovered".

Posted by: ShainS at August 09, 2017 09:17 PM (ZcAbN)

100 What do you wanna bet the high school health class discussions of homosexuality aren't centered on rectal prolapse, rectal cancer, HPV, autoimmune disorders, and esophageal cancer?
Posted by: Malcolm Tent at August 09, 2017 09:13 PM (GiRFl)

Never mind those. What about STDs generally? Homosexuals are the major reservoirs of STDs, and not just HIV, but syphilis, gonorrhea, and (to the extent it is an STD) MRSA.

Posted by: Deplorable Jay Guevara at August 09, 2017 09:17 PM (SRKgf)

101 Watch the movie "Eight Men Out". It was about the 1919 World Series. Practically every man in the stadium (and the crowd was mostly men) was smoking cigars.

I used to like to go to an occasional ballgame. Banning smoking in open-air venues is utter bullshit.

Posted by: rickl at August 09, 2017 09:17 PM (sdi6R)

102 "I'll be sure to give your concerns all the attention they merit"

I love that. Like 'with all due respect'.

'With all due respect, you should rent out your brain to a nanotech lab'

Posted by: boulder terlit hobo at August 09, 2017 09:17 PM (OESm1)

103 82 Not a fan of smoking. Been away from smokers for 2 decades now and so when I am around them now, the smell is very noticeable. That said, out in public, its a legal product, I certainly wouldn't walk up and say "Would you mind not smoking?" If it bothers me, I leave.
Posted by: Darth Randall at August 09, 2017 09:12 PM (v3DL/)

I, too, am an ex-smoker. The smell is pretty rank, especially when a co-worker comes in to my office directly after taking a smoke break.

For those occasions, I keep a can of Lysol, and spray generously after they leave.

P-U

Posted by: ALH at August 09, 2017 09:18 PM (f73RN)

104
Here's a thought -- do you have your own business? Then I suggest that you mind it.

Posted by: Krebs v Carnot: Epic Battle of the Cycling Stars (TM) at August 09, 2017 09:18 PM (pNxlR)

105 Warden, I have to say, I admire your restraint.

Don't know how I would've reacted in the same circumstance, but I doubt I'd have moved any further downfield, just to satisfy the fat cow.

Things, from there, might've gotten interesting. And according to your description, the situation had already gone all "pear-shaped", by her mere presence.

Jim
Sunk New Dawn
Galveston, TX

Posted by: Jim at August 09, 2017 09:19 PM (v5iqM)

106 Using an LRAD.
Posted by: Insomniac at August 09, 2017 09:08 PM (0mRoj)

---

Yep.

Long-Range Acoustic Device

Posted by: SMFH at August 09, 2017 09:19 PM (sB1y1)

107 You want to smoke? Go for it.

I just want to be able to walk outside once in a while without smelling it.
Posted by: Blanco Basura at August 09, 2017 08:57 PM (MPtck)

Well, I'd suggest if you walk outside and see someone smoking a cigarette, stay up wind of them.

Posted by: LefrySqueezeMachine at August 09, 2017 09:19 PM (952c0)

108 Warden you are my hero.

Posted by: Billie Smith at August 09, 2017 09:20 PM (SmDtT)

109 90 84 Should've looked the fat bitch up and down appraisingly, and then said, "What do you weigh? 125, right? Per leg?
Posted by: Deplorable Jay Guevara at August 09, 2017 09:12 PM (SRKgf)

125? Kilograms, slugs... stone?

Posted by: Burnt Toast at August 09, 2017 09:13 PM (P/kVC)

Yep. I'd have gone for the psychic jugular: for fat women, it's that they're fat. No matter how gnarly they may be outwardly, fat jokes are the psychic equivalent of a kick in the balls.

They'll probably go home and polish off another quart of Chunky Monkey in solace.

Posted by: Deplorable Jay Guevara at August 09, 2017 09:21 PM (SRKgf)

110 sounds like the whiner was more watermelon shaped

Posted by: boulder terlit hobo at August 09, 2017 09:21 PM (OESm1)

111 Doesn't smoking on film these days mean an R rating? Something horrifying for the kiddies to see I guess

Posted by: NCKate at August 09, 2017 09:21 PM (s4tzN)

112 , I keep a can of Lysol, "

Febreeze.

Posted by: Anon a mouse... at August 09, 2017 09:21 PM (MINbv)

113 Warden, you probably knew what she was coming to say to you. You should have run a wide receiver pattern....make her catch you.

Posted by: Tami at August 09, 2017 09:21 PM (Enq6K)

114 'Long-Range Acoustic Device'

So, like a YOKO?

Posted by: freaked at August 09, 2017 09:21 PM (BO/km)

115

Seems like a lot of people are just sittin' around waiting to get pissed off about something.

And somebody's gotta pay....

Posted by: 60cyclebum at August 09, 2017 09:21 PM (JoQAu)

116 "Liberals - we hate you for your own good"(c)(r)

Posted by: BeckoningChasm at August 09, 2017 09:22 PM (MZcWR)

117 Could have told Whoa Fat that she should worry more about Big Nick getting a concussion than smelling a cigar.

Posted by: Roy at August 09, 2017 09:22 PM (ABjxW)

118 114 'Long-Range Acoustic Device'

So, like a YOKO?
Posted by: freaked at August 09, 2017 09:21 PM (BO/km)

---

LRADs are more merciful.

Posted by: SMFH at August 09, 2017 09:22 PM (sB1y1)

119 Aleve will kill your liver abd Motrin causes high blood pressure.

Posted by: votermom pimping great books! at August 09, 2017 09:22 PM (hMwEB)

120 Once you get to the level of treating and regarding these people as the children that they are, life becomes much easier to manage, has less drama, and becomes healthier and happier.

Act like a child, get treated like a child.

Posted by: Widespread Pepe at August 09, 2017 09:23 PM (XFue2)

121 And you could always drop the nukes: "What does your husband think about your obesity problem?"

This works whether or not hubby is still in the picture.

Posted by: Deplorable Jay Guevara at August 09, 2017 09:23 PM (SRKgf)

122 Didn't the also-ran pro tennis player who beat the Superhuman Venus Sisters Ultimate Ladies Tennis Phenomenons and Maybe Best Female Athletes in the Entire World in back to back matches a few years ago take smoke (and maybe a beer) breaks?

Posted by: Moron Robbie, Not Quite as Low-IQ as Michael Obama, But Not as Smart as Some Birds at August 09, 2017 09:26 PM (psH+N)

123 Aren't LRADs, um, sort of noticeable? Like extremely loud? Or am I thinking of the other kind? Saw one demonstrated once - the kind pitched as non-lethal defense for ships against pirates, for example - and it was impressive.

If this is the type in question, then there'd be no doubt about what happened.

Posted by: rhomboid at August 09, 2017 09:26 PM (QDnY+)

124 Cigar?
M'am would you mind not rubbing your thighs together like that IN FRONT OF THE CHILDREN.
There's a code Orange forest fire alert and the friction is setting a bad example.

Posted by: Would you like extra loathing with that? at August 09, 2017 09:26 PM (Yrwhs)

125 The best way to enjoy a cigar is in front of a roaring fire puffing on your stoagie whilst you sip from a glass of fine scotch.

Posted by: Kreplach at August 09, 2017 09:26 PM (9A6UB)

126 I just want to be able to walk outside once in a while without smelling it.
Posted by: Blanco Basura at August 09, 2017 08:57 PM (MPtck)

Where exactly do you live that you constantly have to walk outside and smell cigar/cigarette smoke?

Posted by: very undude at August 09, 2017 09:27 PM (2X7pN)

127 "Well, I could smell the pork chops when you got out of the car all the way from here. Would you mind not smelling like pork chops?"

Posted by: freaked at August 09, 2017 09:27 PM (BO/km)

128 Working hard to sort one's life out is a daily war in of itself. Everything else becomes noise and meaningless.... Like obese adult-children nagging you about smoking a cigar outside. Pretty soon you just feel sorry and pity the child.... Because they are literally worthless when you ignore them.

Posted by: Widespread Pepe at August 09, 2017 09:28 PM (XFue2)

129 Nothing to me smells good.

So, anybody complaining about the smell of anything, I find them repugnant. I don't even like to hear about it when people think something smells good.

That said, if I were smoking a cigar and somebody complained I would bluntly tell them it's all good, it covers up the smell of you.

Posted by: Burnt Toast at August 09, 2017 09:28 PM (P/kVC)

130 As Jordan Peterson would say, she needs to clean her room

Posted by: Whitney at August 09, 2017 09:28 PM (aYQo3)

131 125 The best way to enjoy a cigar is in front of a roaring fire puffing on your stoagie whilst you sip from a glass of fine scotch.
Posted by: Kreplach

Never heard a young girl intern called a "roaring fire".

Posted by: Roy at August 09, 2017 09:29 PM (ABjxW)

132 Should have told her

' yeah that's what I thought before I bought these health cigars. They have 21 grams of protein and vitamins b and c. The smoke acts as a natural inhaler to increase oxygen flow.
They're awesome . '

Posted by: Jack Sock at August 09, 2017 09:29 PM (IDPbH)

133 I guess I'm just an old softie but I just can't go the fat or ugly route even with people who deserve it. They could be miserable people who hate themselves--so why add to that? Unless someone threatens me or mine physically, I just take the high road.
That obese woman is a pathetic creature. She knows it.

Posted by: JoeF. at August 09, 2017 09:30 PM (89VjS)

134 I go to a Catholic men's fellowship bonfire & cookout once a month (tonight, actually, but I couldn't make it) where most of us will enjoy a good cigar.

Posted by: josephistan at August 09, 2017 09:30 PM (ANIFC)

135 "Keeps the skeeters and assholes off"

Posted by: freaked at August 09, 2017 09:30 PM (BO/km)

136 Posted by: publius, the Persistent Poperin Pear at August 09, 2017 09:02 PM (8O3HH)

Had a river birch go bad and it had to go. Pretty big tree. The guys came out and I looked outside less than an hour later and THEY WERE ALREADY DONE. Tree gone, everything picked up, stump ground out and cleaned up, and a nice layer of dirt on the spot.

Posted by: Dack Thrombosis at August 09, 2017 09:30 PM (4ErVI)

137 Posted by: Kreplach at August 09, 2017 09:26 PM (9A6UB)

Good scotch is made from dew drops that fall from the nipples of ginger angels.

Posted by: CrotchetyOldJarhead at August 09, 2017 09:31 PM (iIma1)

138 yeah that's what I thought before I bought these
health cigars. They have 21 grams of protein and vitamins b and c. The
smoke acts as a natural inhaler to increase oxygen flow.

They're awesome . '

Posted by: Jack Sock at August 09, 2017 09:29 PM (IDPbH)

LOL

Posted by: JoeF. at August 09, 2017 09:31 PM (89VjS)

139 123 Aren't LRADs, um, sort of noticeable? Like extremely loud? Or am I thinking of the other kind? Saw one demonstrated once - the kind pitched as non-lethal defense for ships against pirates, for example - and it was impressive.

---

https://www.lradx.com/

The ones we used on our humvees were bulky, but it seems that they've slimmed down somewhat...

Used to hook our iPods to them.

Fun times.

Posted by: SMFH at August 09, 2017 09:31 PM (sB1y1)

140 My husband is fond of saying "If that's you're biggest problem you can pack it in now and call yourself a winner"

His statement fits this situation.

How you kept your cool is beyond me.

Posted by: CaliGirl at August 09, 2017 09:31 PM (Ri/rl)

141 At the range, when I'm a range officer, I always tell smokers to ignore the no-smoking policy at the firing line - when we're on one of the smaller ranges, and it's just the smokers and me and my buddy. I tell them it's my daily futile gesture of defiance towards all the idiocy our society now visits upon its victims, er, members.

Plus, when life is good and there are no customers/shooters towards the end of the day, my buddy and I light good cigars ourselves as we empty brass.

Posted by: rhomboid at August 09, 2017 09:31 PM (QDnY+)

142 Would you mind not smoking that here? I can smell it in Houston

Posted by: Cat Ass Trophy at August 09, 2017 09:32 PM (QcJgJ)

143 Adult children ,whose only value comes from stirring shit up and getting a reaction from an actual adult, should be ignored at all costs. Why give value to something so worthless?

Posted by: Widespread Pepe at August 09, 2017 09:32 PM (XFue2)

144 Skip Bayless: If Black NFL Players Sat Out Week One To Protest Colin Kaepernick's Treatment, It Would Really Have An Impact

-
Yeah, Skipper, a lot of those black patriots could probably find work at the car wash making upwards of $10 an hour.

Posted by: I'm Anonosaurus Wrecks and I approved this message at August 09, 2017 09:32 PM (Nwg0u)

145 freakrf, why insult pork chops?

Posted by: votermom pimping great books! at August 09, 2017 09:32 PM (hMwEB)

146 I guess I am more worried about second hand SJW than about second hand smoke.

Posted by: boulder terlit hobo at August 09, 2017 09:13 PM (OESm1)

---
Amen brother.

Posted by: Darth Randall at August 09, 2017 09:33 PM (v3DL/)

147 Good scotch is made from dew drops that fall from the nipples of ginger angels.
Posted by: CrotchetyOldJarhead

God darnit Mr. Jarhead, you use your tongue purttier than a twenty dollar whore.

Posted by: Taggart at August 09, 2017 09:33 PM (ABjxW)

148 To play "spot the lib" all I have to do is go outside. dude with man bun? chick with pink hair?. Old lady with gray ponytail? or is it an old man?

The challenge here would be playing "spot the conservative."

Posted by: Donna and V. at August 09, 2017 09:33 PM (P8951)

149 Just as with the other senses, some people have a hypersensitive sense of smell, and notice everything.

I once knew a woman like that. I began to realize that she was constantly talking about how bad something or other smelled, things that I barely noticed.

Posted by: rickl at August 09, 2017 09:33 PM (sdi6R)

150 Last year Mr. H had all the pine trees around the house taken down.

Money well spent. You don't want to deal with a tree falling on your house during an ice storm in the middle of winter.

Posted by: ALH at August 09, 2017 09:34 PM (f73RN)

151
And any thread that's not talking about Game of Thrones is a good thread.

Posted by: rickl at August 09, 2017 08:41 PM (sdi6R)

I'm seriously thinking about copying over my comment in the last thread about DragonSlut's strategic fuckups since landing in Westeros......just to be a dick.

Posted by: IllTemperedCur at August 09, 2017 09:34 PM (iFZVz)

152 I think I am going to continue not watching the NFL this year.

Posted by: Cat Ass Trophy at August 09, 2017 09:34 PM (QcJgJ)

153 lol Cali Girl.. I like that!

Posted by: DeplorableJewells45 at August 09, 2017 09:34 PM (CNHr1)

154 Oh yeah the cigar.
I'm HIV positive and its the only thing helps me hold my food down.
You don't seem to have a problem though.

Posted by: Would you like extra loathing with that? at August 09, 2017 09:35 PM (Yrwhs)

155 133 I guess I'm just an old softie but I just can't go the fat or ugly route even with people who deserve it. They could be miserable people who hate themselves--so why add to that? Unless someone threatens me or mine physically, I just take the high road.
That obese woman is a pathetic creature. She knows it.
Posted by: JoeF. at August 09, 2017 09:30 PM (89VjS)

Fair enough. IRL I probably wouldn't do it either. It's a fantasy on my part. Only in extemis would I seriously contemplate going there.

Otherwise, at most, I'd look her up and down appraisingly, and then ignore her.

Posted by: Deplorable Jay Guevara at August 09, 2017 09:35 PM (SRKgf)

156 Posted by: Dack Thrombosis at August 09, 2017 09:30 PM (4ErVI)

An arborist that knows what he's doing is fascinating to watch. I had several dangerous trees and a one man operation cleared them all without any damage to any adjacent trees or to a shed in the middle of the damaged trees!

Posted by: Hrothgar at August 09, 2017 09:35 PM (gwPgz)

157
Skip Bayless: If Black NFL Players Sat Out Week One To Protest Colin Kaepernick's Treatment, It Would Really Have An Impact

PLEASE do it! Make it two weeks. Or maybe three.

Posted by: Bertram Cabot, Jr. at August 09, 2017 09:35 PM (IqV8l)

158 150 Last year Mr. H had all the pine trees around the house taken down.

That and the fucking needles and sap

Posted by: Cat Ass Trophy at August 09, 2017 09:35 PM (QcJgJ)

159 once knew a woman like that. I began to realize that she was constantly talking about how bad something or other smelled, things that I barely noticed.

Posted by: rickl at August 09, 2017 09:33 PM (sdi6R)

---

Pregnancy or menopause.

Posted by: Moron Robbie, Not Quite as Low-IQ as Michael Obama, But Not as Smart as Some Birds at August 09, 2017 09:35 PM (psH+N)

160 Yep, I'm thinking of some other system. Acoustic pain, if you will - focused sound that disables people in the open. Probably just a version of the hailing systems I have found so far at LRAD (thanks SMFH). Saw it demonstrated on a dock. Application was for non-lethal disabling of short-range threats (pirates in boats near a ship).

Posted by: rhomboid at August 09, 2017 09:35 PM (QDnY+)

161 "Liberals" have managed to outlaw the Easter bunny, and smoking - in bars. Not just some of them, all of them. And light bulbs. Shower heads that work, etc. There's is definitely a one size fits all mentality.

The pro-dope anti-tobacco thing goes way back, someone once pointed out we were a lot better country when ciggies could advertise and lawyers couldn't.

Posted by: Common Tater at August 09, 2017 09:36 PM (NqaQ9)

162 Its not really about the health issues.

The same people will tell you that they find dipping and chewing repulsive and that they should outlaw it. It's about exerting control, plain and simple.

Posted by: Malcolm Tent at August 09, 2017 09:37 PM (GiRFl)

163 A bit OT... many years ago I made a run to the liquor store to get reinforcements for a party. So I come out just in time to see this asshole pull into the slot next to the entrance marked "HANDICAPPED PARKING ONLY". He jumps out of his Camaro and starts in, so over my shoulder I sez "Oh, you must be confused... that sign means PHYSICALLY handicapped."

Posted by: Ray Van Dune at August 09, 2017 09:37 PM (4hIeD)

164 144 Skip Bayless: If Black NFL Players Sat Out Week One To Protest Colin Kaepernick's Treatment, It Would Really Have An Impact

-
Yeah, Skipper, a lot of those black patriots could probably find work at the car wash making upwards of $10 an hour.
Posted by: I'm Anonosaurus Wrecks and I approved this message at August 09, 2017 09:32 PM (Nwg0u)

Memo to Skip Braynless: Great idea. Just think about how it would dispel all those stories about criminals in the NFL.

At least for a week.

Posted by: Deplorable Jay Guevara at August 09, 2017 09:37 PM (SRKgf)

165 144 Skip Bayless: If Black NFL Players Sat Out Week One To Protest Colin Kaepernick's Treatment, It Would Really Have An Impact

-
Yeah, Skipper, a lot of those black patriots could probably find work at the car wash making upwards of $10 an hour.
Posted by: I'm Anonosaurus Wrecks and I approved this message at August 09, 2017 09:32 PM (Nwg0u)

Black Americans have never had it as good as they do now, and Black NFL players have it better than 99.9% of the population of the world, and they're still pissed. Nothing can ever change that.

Posted by: josephistan at August 09, 2017 09:37 PM (ANIFC)

166 162 Its not really about the health issues.

The same people will tell you that they find dipping and chewing repulsive and that they should outlaw it. It's about exerting control, plain and simple.
Posted by: Malcolm Tent at August 09, 2017 09:37 PM (GiRFl)

It's the ctrl-left.

Posted by: Burnt Toast at August 09, 2017 09:38 PM (P/kVC)

167 Great post. As usual.

Posted by: Mr Aspirin Factory at August 09, 2017 09:38 PM (89T5c)

168 Ha! Speaking of cutting down trees.. we have this new backyard neighbor who wanted to cut down one of the pines in his yard..so he gets dad and a few others over to cut it down and then.. get this.. proceeds to slowly over several days burn the debris in his fire pit. So.. the neighbors next to him (Mormons) are having an outdoor birthday party one day and this jerk decides to burn some more debris in the pit. The smoke was wafting over to the party. Bless their hearts, they didn't say a word. I'm sure it's a city ordinance that you can do that.

Posted by: DeplorableJewells45 at August 09, 2017 09:38 PM (CNHr1)

169 *can't

Posted by: DeplorableJewells45 at August 09, 2017 09:39 PM (CNHr1)

170 157; skip is an idiot. always. obnoxious little prick. hell, they can sit out all year for all i give a fuck.

Posted by: chavez the hugo at August 09, 2017 09:39 PM (KP5rU)

171 I'm seriously thinking about copying over my comment in the last thread about DragonSlut's strategic fuckups since landing in Westeros......just to be a dick.
Posted by: IllTemperedCur at August 09, 2017 09:34 PM (iFZVz)

I responded in the previous thread.

Posted by: Colorado Alex In Exile at August 09, 2017 09:39 PM (Tnhbr)

172 Posted by: Ray Van Dune at August 09, 2017 09:37 PM (4hIeD)

I only think of great things to say 5 minutes too late.

The jerk store called.

Posted by: CaliGirl at August 09, 2017 09:39 PM (Ri/rl)

173 >>>The same people will tell you that they find dipping and chewing repulsive

The ones who give dipping and chewing a bad name are the schmucks who either spit everywhere or leave their spit cups everywhere.

Posted by: Banana Splits Guy at August 09, 2017 09:40 PM (RrhD2)

174 Black NFL players have it better than 99.9% of the population of the world, and they're still pissed. Nothing can ever change that.
Posted by: josephistan at August 09, 2017 09:37 PM (ANIFC)

NFL owners can.

Posted by: Deplorable Jay Guevara at August 09, 2017 09:40 PM (SRKgf)

175 Cigars are a recent thing for me (like, five months recent). AF Chateau Fuente King has so far been the best stick I've tried. Not been asked to move or stop, but that's because I've got my bar that allows smokers. Pretty good tap selection and they've started getting some good scotches in too.

Idea for AoSHQ column/post: Favorite "sins". Talk about the old school hedonisms and which brands are preferred/best.

Posted by: Captain Comic at August 09, 2017 09:40 PM (DXWEp)

176 I'd love to see how many black players laughing because they know they wouldn't have gotten out of the hell holes they grew up in without football. Free college degrees and now millions of dollars?

Yes, let's have that conversation. Who's that one who won the Heisman a couple of years ago that lived with his coach in 7th grade because his family situation was so horrible? Let's see if he wants to start us off.

Posted by: Moron Robbie, Not Quite as Low-IQ as Michael Obama, But Not as Smart as Some Birds at August 09, 2017 09:40 PM (psH+N)

177 Some pretty epic suggested responses here from the Horde.

As to the NFL, a pre-existing low level of interest has been given a tremendous boost, so to speak, by the Chargers departure. So now interest is boosted into the non-existent, needle-doesn't-move-when-you-tap-the-gauge zone.

Would be amusing to see the bonfire of idiotic anti-American racist "identity politics" and race-baiting consume a bit more of the pop culture, though.

Posted by: rhomboid at August 09, 2017 09:40 PM (QDnY+)

178 170 157; skip is an idiot. always. obnoxious little prick. hell, they can sit out all year for all i give a fuck.
Posted by: chavez the hugo at August 09, 2017 09:39 PM (KP5rU)

Yep. They've got important business (bidness?) to do in the ghetto. That EBT isn't going to spend itself.

Posted by: Deplorable Jay Guevara at August 09, 2017 09:41 PM (SRKgf)

179 Could you put out that cigar? I can smell it over the internet.

Posted by: Dave (in MA) at August 09, 2017 09:41 PM (/JyEh)

180 Idea for AoSHQ column/post: Favorite "sins".
-------------

Hoo boy. What could possibly go wrong?

Posted by: bluebell at August 09, 2017 09:43 PM (UoSKV)

181 179 Could you put out that cigar? I can smell it over the internet.
Posted by: Dave (in MA) at August 09, 2017 09:41 PM (/JyEh)

I love when people start coughing when they see me vaping. It is funny.

Posted by: Aetius451AD Work Laptop at August 09, 2017 09:43 PM (Nk0mq)

182 I do feel sorry for the kid. He is already in tears over his failing football practice and then to have a battle-ax mother barking out orders to perfect strangers - well, I don't imagine home life is too good either.

Posted by: washrivergal at August 09, 2017 09:43 PM (2+gSO)

183 Leftism is the new Puritanism. It's a form of religious worship.

Posted by: mrp at August 09, 2017 09:43 PM (Pqytn)

184 Aleve will kill your liver abd Motrin causes high blood pressure.

Posted by: votermom pimping great books! at August 09, 2017 09:22 PM (hMwEB)

Good to know. I thought it was Tylenol (acetaminophen) that killed your liver. Now I'm off to do some research on Aleve (naproxen) and Motrin (ibuprofen). Don't take a lot of any of them (and zero on the acetaminophen), but it pays to stay up-to-date on matters of this type. If you want to stay on the right side of the dirt, that is. Which I do.

Posted by: HTL at August 09, 2017 09:43 PM (0l8E+)

185 179 Could you put out that cigar? I can smell it over the internet.
Posted by: Dave (in MA) at August 09, 2017 09:41 PM (/JyEh)

Sorry.

Posted by: Monica Lewinsky at August 09, 2017 09:43 PM (SRKgf)

186 Skip Bayless: Intelligent as a peatmoss bog.

1. Kaepernick is WILDLY unpopular with NFL fans.
2. Protest on behalf of Kaepernick.
3. Profit!!!

Posted by: Circa (Insert Year Here) at August 09, 2017 09:43 PM (ClGV9)

187 This is the truest thing I've read all year.

Posted by: LASue at August 09, 2017 09:44 PM (hZ+us)

188 The ones who give dipping and chewing a bad name are the schmucks who either spit everywhere or leave their spit cups everywhere.
Posted by: Banana Splits Guy at August 09, 2017 09:40 PM (RrhD2)

My husband uses Copenhagen and watching him spit outside makes me gag. I caught him spitting in the flower bed. He promised me he would stop spitting there. I use gloves at all times now.

Posted by: CaliGirl at August 09, 2017 09:44 PM (Ri/rl)

189 180 Idea for AoSHQ column/post: Favorite "sins".
-------------

Hoo boy. What could possibly go wrong?
Posted by: bluebell at August 09, 2017 09:43 PM (UoSKV)

Hairy Thai tranny midget has been sold out for years.

Posted by: Burnt Toast at August 09, 2017 09:44 PM (P/kVC)

190 162 Its not really about the health issues.

The same people will tell you that they find dipping and chewing repulsive and that they should outlaw it. It's about exerting control, plain and simple.
Posted by: Malcolm Tent at August 09, 2017 09:37 PM (GiRFl)

At one time in my life I would been all in on dipping ban. In college I was playing a video game at our pizza hangout and put my cup of soda on top of the machine. I eventually reached up and grabbed it to take a drink while still playing and was about to take a big drink when I noticed it was someone's dip cup. Disaster barely averted. I would have been scarred for life.

Posted by: Jack Sock at August 09, 2017 09:44 PM (IDPbH)

191 It would be nice if we could put the people complaining about cigar and cigarette smoke in a time machine and transport them back to a typical 19th Century city. See how they like horse manure everywhere, and people emptying chamber pots out of windows.*

*I had an uncle who actually saw that in France in the 1950s.

Posted by: rickl at August 09, 2017 09:44 PM (sdi6R)

192 And yes, Warden, you're a better man than me.

"Piss off" would have been my reply.

Posted by: Circa (Insert Year Here) at August 09, 2017 09:45 PM (ClGV9)

193 I love when people start coughing when they see me vaping. It is funny.
Posted by: Aetius451AD Work Laptop at August 09, 2017 09:43 PM (Nk0mq)

I cannot stand when people do that. They also use the heavy sigh tactic.

Posted by: CaliGirl at August 09, 2017 09:45 PM (Ri/rl)

194 At the range, when I'm a range officer, I always tell smokers to ignore the no-smoking policy at the firing line - when we're on one of the smaller ranges, and it's just the smokers and me and my buddy. I tell them it's my daily futile gesture of defiance towards all the idiocy our society now visits upon its victims, er, members.

Plus, when life is good and there are no customers/shooters towards the end of the day, my buddy and I light good cigars ourselves as we empty brass.

Posted by: rhomboid at August 09, 2017 09:31 PM (QDnY+)
=================

No smoking during a muzzleloading match

Posted by: mrp at August 09, 2017 09:46 PM (Pqytn)

195 My husband uses Copenhagen and watching him spit outside makes me gag. I caught him spitting in the flower bed. He promised me he would stop spitting there. I use gloves at all times now.
Posted by: CaliGirl at August 09, 2017 09:44 PM (Ri/rl)

Intrinsically I hate smoking, and dipping and spitting, and hell, even assholes who spit seeds all over baseball fields. But to each his own, and if I don't have to put up with it, go for it is my attitude.

Posted by: Monica Lewinsky at August 09, 2017 09:46 PM (SRKgf)

196 Posted by: Jack Sock at August 09, 2017 09:44 PM (IDPbH)

I'm scarred from thinking about it.

Posted by: CaliGirl at August 09, 2017 09:46 PM (Ri/rl)

197 NFL owners can.

Posted by: Deplorable Jay Guevara at August 09, 2017 09:40 PM (SRKgf)

I used to think that they follow the winds of the fans, but the NBA is an example of a successful professional sports league that makes money in spite of its fans. The corporate money that enriches the leagues and its players has a "0" correlation with the individual fan.

The league does not have to follow the desires of its fan base. All it has to do is please its corporate masters.

Posted by: CharlieBrown'sDildo at August 09, 2017 09:47 PM (wYseH)

198 It would be nice if we could put the people complaining about cigar and cigarette smoke in a time machine and transport them back to a typical 19th Century city. See how they like horse manure everywhere, and people emptying chamber pots out of windows.*

*I had an uncle who actually saw that in France in the 1950s.

-
There's the right wazy, the wrong way, and the Zimbabwe.

Posted by: I'm Anonosaurus Wrecks and I approved this message at August 09, 2017 09:47 PM (Nwg0u)

199 It would be nice if we could put the people complaining about cigar and cigarette smoke in a time machine and transport them back to a typical 19th Century city.

No need. Transport them to Japan or China today.

Posted by: Monica Lewinsky at August 09, 2017 09:47 PM (SRKgf)

200 sock off

Posted by: Deplorable Jay Guevara at August 09, 2017 09:47 PM (SRKgf)

201 I had the absolute nadir of busybody liberal interactions just last week. I swear to God this old bag actually said this shit.

I live in the Boston metro area. I'm walking my dog around an old folks home across the street from my house. They've got a couple acres worth of grass on the grounds so I can run him and the staff likes me and my animal so I can let him off leash and it's never any trouble. Although it's right on the street on three sides I can trust him not to bolt because he does what I say. There are homes that run along the fourth side of the property with just a 4 foot chainlink fence between them, and that's where the biggest yard is.

Now I let me dog off-leash in Boston, which is, technically, in a legal sense, a no-no, so he needs to be letter perfect or I will get harassed by nosy liberals and given a ticket by fucking animal control. Long story short he was both NOT coming when called and ate a piece of shit on the ground which I, not knowing what it was, tried to pull out of his mouth. So I beat him. A smack on the nose and then a couple on the belly.

This is the point I realize a lady has just come out of her house. I just shouted "Don't eat shit!" so I make eye contact with her and say "pardon my French."

"I don't mind your French, what I mind is you bangin' on that dog."
At this point her husband comes out after her.
"I'm sorry?"
"You can't hit that dog, how dare you..." It's far less about what she said than the nagging, "gotcha" "fuck you" tone she took.
"He just ate crap off the ground, he's not allowed to do that." She responded to this as if I'd just told her I shoot children for fun. Then her husband chimes in.
"Do you always beat your dog?"
"I give him a positive stimulus when he's done something good, and a negative when he's done something bad. This is a cultural thing. We need more of " Then she jumps back in.
"Oh no, no, you're not going to justify violence."
"Ma'am, it's none of your business."
"I think it's disgraceful..." etc etc
The dog is sitting at my feet wagging his tail at this point. I point at him.
"Look, he's not hurt. I didn't hurt him. I was disciplining him."
At this point, no lie, her husband just leaves. Turns around and walks around the corner of the house. Poor bastard. She gives me another blast of bullshit. She's yelling, at this point.
"Look, it's none of your business."
"What happens in my home is my business."
We are standing on either side of a chainlink fence. I am literally a foot from the brick corner of a four story assisted living community with its own fleet of vans. I smack the brick wall.
"This is your home? What's this fence doing here? It's none of your business how I discipline my animal."
"Everything is my business."
That was when I walked away. I never cursed at her and I didn't, despite my extreme urge to do so, flip her the bird. She let the cat out of the bag all on her own.

Liberalism is ruining the country, but it's also fucking with my morning walk.

Posted by: most deplorable Ghost of kari - certified sidebar at August 09, 2017 09:47 PM (nXCp4)

202 181 179 Could you put out that cigar? I can smell it over the internet.
Posted by: Dave (in MA) at August 09, 2017 09:41 PM (/JyEh)

I love when people start coughing when they see me vaping. It is funny.
Posted by: Aetius451AD Work Laptop at August 09, 2017 09:43 PM (Nk0mq)

I do the fake caugh when I see people using athsma inhaler.

Posted by: Burnt Toast at August 09, 2017 09:48 PM (P/kVC)

203
You know what I like to do in the flower bed?

Posted by: Fido at August 09, 2017 09:48 PM (8O3HH)

204 I'm old and tired. Time to put the doggehs out. Be well all.

Farmer

Posted by: Farmer at August 09, 2017 09:48 PM (yJ1e6)

205 Please don't smoke while filling your vehicle's gas tank at the pump.

It bothers me to see all those cigarette butts next to the pumps.

Posted by: mrp at August 09, 2017 09:48 PM (Pqytn)

206 There's the right wazy, the wrong way, and the Zimbabwe.

Also the Venezue.

La.

Posted by: Circa (Insert Year Here) at August 09, 2017 09:48 PM (ClGV9)

207 Intrinsically I hate smoking, and dipping and spitting, and hell, even assholes who spit seeds all over baseball fields. But to each his own, and if I don't have to put up with it, go for it is my attitude.
Posted by: Monica Lewinsky at August 09, 2017 09:46 PM (SRKgf)

I hate spitting, smoking or cigars don't bother me.
When I hear somebody hacking up a lung and then spit it makes me nauseated. I think its foul.

Posted by: CaliGirl at August 09, 2017 09:49 PM (Ri/rl)

208 Read every word, and my review: Oh F yes.

Off to grab a cigar.

Posted by: Splunge at August 09, 2017 09:49 PM (iMxBJ)

209 Intrinsically I hate smoking, and dipping and
spitting

Posted by: Monica Lewinsky at August 09, 2017 09:46 PM (SRKgf)

I had a boss who spent a week with me. Literally one week sitting next to me as I worked. He did not know how to do my job and had no understanding of it, so he did the smart thing and sat in. But...he chewed. And spat into a Styrofoam cup about 6" from me.

All day.

It was vile beyond belief.

Posted by: CharlieBrown'sDildo at August 09, 2017 09:50 PM (wYseH)

210 I eventually reached up and grabbed it to take a drink while still playing and was about to take a big drink when I noticed it was someone's dip cup. Disaster barely averted. I would have been scarred for life.
Posted by: Jack Sock at August 09, 2017 09:44 PM (IDPbH)

Oh yeah, at the cow college bars I frequented, if you'd been up dancing or visiting, you learned early on to FEEL your beer can before taking another sip. Warm=DANGER.

The classrooms didnt have "no smoking signs". The signs said "no tobacco products" so dipping was off limits too.

Posted by: stace at August 09, 2017 09:50 PM (6iw++)

211 195 My husband uses Copenhagen and watching him spit outside makes me gag. I caught him spitting in the flower bed. He promised me he would stop spitting there. I use gloves at all times now.
Posted by: CaliGirl at August 09, 2017 09:44 PM (Ri/rl)

Intrinsically I hate smoking, and dipping and spitting, and hell, even assholes who spit seeds all over baseball fields. But to each his own, and if I don't have to put up with it, go for it is my attitude.
Posted by: Monica Lewinsky at August 09, 2017 09:46 PM (SRKgf)

You need to witness the Marchallese Snot Rocket.

Posted by: Burnt Toast at August 09, 2017 09:50 PM (P/kVC)

212 One of the Horde had a run-in with some liberal busybody who threatened to call the police on him because he was wearing an NRA cap.

Posted by: josephistan at August 09, 2017 09:50 PM (ANIFC)

213 I cannot stand when people do that. They also use the heavy sigh tactic.

Back when Garfield was good, which was in 1980 or so, Jim Davis had a cartoon where Jon Arbuckle had a date over. Date look at look at the cat and suddenly sneezed. "I'm allergic to cats! It does or I go."

Next panel: date literally falling on her butt on Jon's front doorstep.

Once upon a time, Garfield was good.

Posted by: boulder terlit hobo at August 09, 2017 09:51 PM (6FqZa)

214 1. Kaepernick is WILDLY unpopular with NFL fans.
2. Protest on behalf of Kaepernick.
3. Profit!!!
Posted by: Circa (Insert Year Here) at August 09, 2017 09:43 PM (ClGV9)

Here's the thing: for every clown in the NFL, there are probably 100 guys are roughly equally talented but who just didn't get the break they needed.

Sound extreme? Consider someone with an IQ of 140. Impressive, no? That guy is in the top 0.5% of the population. So ... one person in 200 is at least equally bright.

Puts things in perspective, doesn't it?

Posted by: Deplorable Jay Guevara at August 09, 2017 09:51 PM (SRKgf)

215 So, swatting Ace with a newspaper is violence?

Posted by: Circa (Insert Year Here) at August 09, 2017 09:51 PM (ClGV9)

216 195 Intrinsically I hate smoking
Posted by: Monica Lewinsky at August 09, 2017 09:46 PM (SRKgf)

Types
Deletes
Types
Deletes

Posted by: Splunge at August 09, 2017 09:51 PM (iMxBJ)

217 Intrinsically I hate smoking, and dipping and
spitting

Posted by: Monica Lewinsky at August 09, 2017 09:46 PM (SRKgf)

Starr Report says otherwise.

Posted by: josephistan at August 09, 2017 09:51 PM (ANIFC)

218 Date look at look at the cat and suddenly sneezed. "I'm allergic to cats! It does or I go."

TAKES a look at the cat... it GOES or I go.

my typing is for sh!t tonight.

Posted by: boulder terlit hobo at August 09, 2017 09:52 PM (6FqZa)

219 i smoke. the smell of used dip is enough to make me hurl. but, i would never say anything about it to anybody. their business as far as i'm cincerned.

Posted by: chavez the hugo at August 09, 2017 09:53 PM (KP5rU)

220 Kate Upton is smokin'.

Posted by: I'm Anonosaurus Wrecks and I approved this message at August 09, 2017 09:53 PM (Nwg0u)

221 Just got to sit and read this. It reminds me of nearly thirty years ago living in a small town and how I came to be an assistant little league coach because some fat woman pissed me off.
I'll think you got it exactly right, they try to good others because they don't know how to fix themselves.

Posted by: RKinRoanoke at August 09, 2017 09:53 PM (x9Z10)

222 Yeah, this frustrates me no end too, although I think it's just part of the human condition. We want to try to fix the world by changing other people instead of first changing ourselves. We're bypassing the one person we have direct control over in order to try to control people we don't have direct control over. They're want to make a better world without becoming the kind of people who could actually live in a better world. Like I say, it's part of the human condition: I have this drive in me too, it's just some people don't try to hide it as much.

Posted by: Jim S. at August 09, 2017 09:53 PM (ynUnH)

223 205 Please don't smoke while filling your vehicle's gas tank at the pump.

It bothers me to see all those cigarette butts next to the pumps.
Posted by: mrp at August 09, 2017 09:48 PM (Pqytn)

Really? I'm encouraged. Natural selection in action.

Just don't do it while I'm gassing up. After that, enjoy!

Posted by: Deplorable Jay Guevara at August 09, 2017 09:53 PM (SRKgf)

224
Monica has no room to complain about anybody doing anything, considering where she has stuck her tongue.

Posted by: publius, the Persistent Poperin Pear at August 09, 2017 09:53 PM (8O3HH)

225 219 their business as far as i'm concerned.
Posted by: chavez the hugo at August 09, 2017 09:53 PM (KP5rU)

Now there's a thought we could use a whole lot more of these days.

Posted by: Splunge at August 09, 2017 09:53 PM (iMxBJ)

226 Intrinsically I hate smoking, and dipping and spitting, and hell, even assholes who spit seeds all over baseball fields. But to each his own, and if I don't have to put up with it, go for it is my attitude.

Posted by: Monica Lewinsky

I seem to remember things differently.

Posted by: Bubba C at August 09, 2017 09:54 PM (5rdJ4)

227 My parents were heavy smokers, as were my older siblings.
The smell of cigarettes makes me nostalgic.

Posted by: votermom pimping great books! at August 09, 2017 09:54 PM (hMwEB)

228 I love when people start coughing when they see me vaping. It is funny.

I look right at 'em and query "Hairball?".

Posted by: Notorious BFD at August 09, 2017 09:54 PM (Tyii7)

229 Nood ONT

Posted by: josephistan at August 09, 2017 09:55 PM (ANIFC)

230 >>>Back when Garfield was good, which was ~~in 1980 or so~~ NEVER

FIFY

Posted by: Banana Splits Guy at August 09, 2017 09:55 PM (RrhD2)

231 My oldest son had his wedding reception at the Berkeley City Club. Yes, he's a lefty. His one conservative friend and I are standing on the sidewalk outside the Club smoking cigars and talking to kids walking home from a Cal football game. An angry grey hired woman with a crew cut marches out of the club and says "You can't smoke that within 25 feet of the club. I asked her if she had a tape measure and she stomped off.

Posted by: Mike K at August 09, 2017 09:56 PM (s170V)

232 I had a boss who spent a week with me. Literally one week sitting next to me as I worked. He did not know how to do my job and had no understanding of it, so he did the smart thing and sat in. But...he chewed. And spat into a Styrofoam cup about 6" from me.

All day.

It was vile beyond belief.

Posted by: CharlieBrown'sDildo at August 09, 2017 09:50 PM (wYseH)
=======================

I once had lunch with a customer in a small-town diner. He dipped and spat into a Dixie cup during the entire meal. He did take a break from his routine to dump a half cup of sugar into his glass of tea. Yadkinville, NC, c. 1980

Posted by: mrp at August 09, 2017 09:58 PM (Pqytn)

233 Lady, your attitude is extra crispy like that bucket of chicken in your car.

Posted by: Cigar Deplorable at August 09, 2017 09:58 PM (bc2Lc)

234 I just remembered I wrote a blogpost on this, the desire to control the behavior of others when you haven't learned to control your own behavior first:

http://agentintellect.blogspot.com/2016/06/internal-vs-external-conditions.html

Posted by: Jim S. at August 09, 2017 10:01 PM (ynUnH)

235 I would've been a total smartass and said something like "Don't worry, I'll light a candle and air the place out when I'm done."

Alternatively "Cool story." Wander away and ignore her. Not worth the energy

Posted by: STB Applauding at August 09, 2017 10:02 PM (qby7P)

236 Here's a perfect example of how to handle noisy neighbors.

Back in my husband's bachelor days, he and five friends rented a house on a bay in Southampton (Long Island) next to a family with three small children. The first weekend they invited everyone they knew, dug a big hole in the sand, and put in a pig to roast. None of them knew how long that would take. Did I mention they were bachelors? They served it at midnight, by which time everyone was too drunk to know whether it was cooked or raw.

The neighbors didn't say a word.

The party went on and on. And on.

The next morning at about seven o'clock the neighbor and wife and three kids, each armed with pots and lids came over crashing pots and lids together. They walked up and down and around amongst all the passed-out drunks, then marched back home. All without saying a word.

Last big party. Beginning of a lifelong friendship.

And to show that there is justice in the world, years later we bought that house and rented it out, and one of our renters married the middle daughter from the house next door!

Posted by: Wenda (sic) at August 09, 2017 10:05 PM (Kr0FZ)

237 "I'll move down a little. Why don't you come with me? We don't want to be normalizing obesity in front of the kids, yes?"

Posted by: Fen at August 09, 2017 10:06 PM (1L+hm)

238 My own personal take-away from this is that it is not by any means the first time cobs and other Morons have made comments about lefty hags not wearing makeup.

I go years without makeup.

If you take lipstick out of the equation, it's entirely possible I have gone decades without wearing makeup.

I am now very, very paranoid about attending any Mo Mes.

Posted by: Tammy al-Thor at August 09, 2017 10:07 PM (34QwJ)

239 "Cigars don't do well outside of a humidor, so I decided that Sunday was the perfect time and place to fire that thing up."

Try the Slick Wily Express(R) humidor. Sometimes a Cigar is More Than Just a Cigar

Posted by: bergerbilder at August 09, 2017 10:08 PM (lIZQs)

240 I like women who don't wear much (or any) makeup. I like tanlines, too, so who knows when my tastes in fashion will be back in style.

Posted by: Moron Robbie, Not Quite as Low-IQ as Michael Obama, But Not as Smart as Some Birds at August 09, 2017 10:13 PM (psH+N)

241 Wow, Open Blogger (I'm gonna go ahead and assume your name is Warren), you've got Christian patience. If it were me I would've lunged at her and ripped her larynx out.

Posted by: American Werewolf at August 09, 2017 10:14 PM (9XEAs)

242 Common Tater @ 161- Easter Bunny and cigars outlawed from bars?
About 4 years ago I saw the Easter Bunny drinking at the bar in a little seafood place called Fiddlers in Savannah. He won't smoking a cigar though, just drinking.

Posted by: Eromero at August 09, 2017 10:15 PM (zLDYs)

243 Willowed yet again. Busy trimming my bunions.

"Cigars don't do well outside of a humidor, so I decided that Sunday was the perfect time and place to fire that thing up."

Try the Slick Wily Express(R) humidor. Sometimes a Cigar is More Than Just a Cigar

Posted by: bergerbilder at August 09, 2017 10:15 PM (lIZQs)

244 Who died and made you Queen?

Posted by: scrood at August 09, 2017 10:21 PM (OlbyV)

245 I'm pretty ambivalent. It's hard to muster sympathy for smokers, who are not generally the most courteous folks in my experience. Quite apart from the smoke, it's fairly unpleasant that smokers seem to regard city streets and sidewalks as their very own ashtray.

Posted by: Curmudgeonly Ex-Clerk at August 09, 2017 10:24 PM (H5knJ)

246 "Excuse me. Do you mind not smoking that in front of the kids?"

(responding with an up and down glance and barely concealed disgust)

"Excuse *me*. Do you mind not exposing *that* in front of the kids?"

Posted by: JTC at August 09, 2017 10:57 PM (A9pTN)

247 Similar story. At a brewers festival I volunteered for. During one of the bands that was playing decided to step back away from the crowd-a good 50+ yards-and lit up. Some guy comes hobbling toward me with a cane, finally he gets there and says "You mind putting that damn thing out, my wife is allergic.." I said, "yeah I mind--whose air is it anyway?" Turned my back on him and enjoyed the rest of my cigar.

Funny thing though: I enjoy a cigar in the park with a friend every Thursday. Lots of old ladies walk up and say how much they like the smell of the cigars--reminds them of their husbands.

Posted by: Ray at August 09, 2017 11:31 PM (zeMps)

248 Warden, you should have told her "no."

Politely.

Posted by: Taco Shack at August 10, 2017 01:07 AM (C+qQ0)

249 Warden, I don't know if you will ever see this but good on you for helping that kid. If you could, continue to encourage him to work hard at practices. That may help him get out of the sloth lifestyle way too many of us fat people are in.

Also, remind him even if he doesn't make the team this year, if he continues to work out, he can improve and try again next year. Getting in shape is step one.

Posted by: Deathknyte at August 10, 2017 04:23 AM (NU9Ff)

250 Year's ago my wife, her kids and I went to Stone Mountain, GA to sightsee and watch the LASER light show. Outside in a field, no prohibition against smoking so I lit up a cigar to relax. Right off this LIBTARD bee-atch starts complaining and TELLING me to put "....that f**king thing out!" I calmly looked at IT and told IT that if it bothered IT to "...unass the area as I started smoking before you even sat down here." Well, this set IT to cussing loudly and threatening me that IT was fixing to kick my ass! Only one problem, I was an Alabama law enforcement officer and was packing. I calmly told IT that if IT wanted to live past that day to shut the f**k up and get out of my face. This set IT off to screaming louder, but IT did move away. A park police officer came over to see what was going on so I showed him my badge and ID (making sure IT saw it), informed him I was armed (loud enough for IT to hear) and told him what the problem was. Of course IT denied everything but families around confirmed my story. The officer told IT to gather ITS stuff and brats and leave the park ASAP!!! And IT went off on him! Wrong move as IT was told to place ITS hands behind ITS back as IT was under arrest. Then IT resisted and I, being a fellow LEO assisted the officer in restraining and cuffing IT. Can you imagine how MUCH FUN that was!? :-)
As for those with severe Anal - Cranium Impaction blasting their music load enough to be heard miles away, I insert the CD with Scotland the Brave and crank it up! If that doesn't work the Bonnie Blue Flag or Dixie is next. They usually get the idea with that and turn it down or go elsewhere. Bagpipes, psychological warfare at its finest!

Posted by: Z-man51 at August 10, 2017 05:27 AM (CLf8n)

251 Smoking 40 yards away from people is a dick move. Not nearly far enough away.

Posted by: dustydog at August 10, 2017 05:41 AM (6BLvJ)

252 It takes a twisted, AoS Moron sense of "right" to respond as the author did(especially his followup of working with the boy.)

Such a "turning of the cheek" will never be recognized by Mother for the slap-in-the-face, "Wake Up! You Idiot" that it truly is.

Bravo! * Raising glass! *

Posted by: Someone who din't major in history at August 10, 2017 06:16 AM (rv12I)

253 You need to search the web and get him a pack of candy cigarettes.

Just sayin'...

Posted by: Mark Matis at August 10, 2017 07:14 AM (LzG0h)

254 In these instances I've found that the thousand yard stare over the assholes shoulder and you make a comment about a particular flaw of hers perhaps about her weight.

Like is ' Do you think Michael Moore weighs 400 pounds', then exhale some smoke the way. Oh and never make eye contact.

Posted by: redenzo at August 10, 2017 07:34 AM (5wSNN)

255 And the moral to this story is if you do not want to see an obese child struggling to grasp the rudimentary skills of any sport, you Gentlemen must remember to wear a condom should you feel the need to tap an overly inclined avoirdupois female. Better yet, date the five sisters. It is more cost effective, will keep you out of court and from having to explain to your buddies what drinking cheap tequila does to your perception of what makes a woman comely.

Posted by: Pamela at August 10, 2017 01:24 PM (nO7IA)

256 I admire your character in not telling her to fuck off.

Posted by: doug at August 10, 2017 01:52 PM (HlhEB)

257 I might have asked you to move a bit downwind of me if the smell was annoying. Assuming I couldn't just solve the problem myself.

Posted by: GWB at August 10, 2017 02:43 PM (k/WLo)

258 smokers, who are not generally the most courteous folks in my experience
Cigarette smokers, yes. Cigar smokers seem (outside of a certain subset) to be more courteous.

Posted by: GWB at August 10, 2017 03:02 PM (k/WLo)

259 "Excuse me. Do you mind not smoking that in front of the kids?"

Fuck you.

But, that wouldn't make a very good blog post, would it?

Spot on, btw.

Posted by: Bea Arthur's Dick at August 10, 2017 03:05 PM (jWe5r)

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