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Hillary Will Offer Personal, Candid Rehash of All Her Scripted Robotic Excuses in New Book "What Happened"

How 'bout that title, huh?

Hillary has a real gift for catchy pith, doesn't she? "I'm with her." "Stronger together."

"What happened."

She's a poet made of nothing but heart and laser-light.

So this gin-soaked nutter continues spiraling downward.

David Harsanyi explains:

[T]he reasons Why It Happened are pretty clear.

First of all, no one really likes you. I donít say this out of political or personal malice. I assume few people like me, either. But being inherently unlikeable is an awkward attribute to have when you have designs on public office...

Now, granted, this might have something to do with your long history of corruption, mendacity and malleable political principles. Or maybe itís just something about your personality. Whatever the case, no amount of whataboutism regarding Donald Trump can erase living history.

Itís also probably difficult for voters to be stirred by someone who wants to be president as badly as you do. The ambition, it oozes from you. And because youíll say anything polls tell you to say, you are extraordinarily uninspiring. Your politics are a sort of a lagging indicator. By the time you embrace them, the moment has passed us by.

...

Some politicians can get over their shadiness and disagreeable nature by excelling at retail politics and/or strategic thinking. Youíre not that person.

The Federalist's Bre Peyton collects some funny parodies and reactions to Hillary's "What Happened."

Here are a couple:





Posted by: Ace at 01:17 PM




Comments

(Jump to bottom of page)

1 This is what I had been saying for a long time. Scankles is one of the most hated women in America. She won the hard core blue States because they would vote for a yellow dog if it had a (D) after its name.

Posted by: Vic We Have No Party at July 27, 2017 01:19 PM (mpXpK)

2 Watch that video again, of them shoving her carcass around. Hillory doesn't DO anything. Hillory is made to do things. Including "write" books.

It's silly to think anything like this is in any way originating from that pickled head of hers.

Posted by: BurtTC at July 27, 2017 01:19 PM (TOk1P)

3 First? Probably not, dammit.

Posted by: JTB at July 27, 2017 01:20 PM (V+03K)

4 Top 10?

Posted by: rickl at July 27, 2017 01:20 PM (xjiRE)

5 They were going to title it "What Befell Hillary?" but thought it might be misconstrued.

Posted by: Muldoon at July 27, 2017 01:20 PM (mvenn)

6 First? Probably not, dammit.
Posted by: JTB at July 27, 2017 01:20 PM (V+03K)

What Happened?

Posted by: Duke of Righteous WTF? at July 27, 2017 01:21 PM (T71PA)

7 What Happened?
=======

Well, to borrow a line...

We came, we voted, you lost.

Posted by: bicentennialguy at July 27, 2017 01:21 PM (vg8iE)

8 She needs to press the Reset button on her self-awareness meter.

Posted by: Muldoon at July 27, 2017 01:22 PM (mvenn)

9 Just wait. About 18 months from now she'll be telling us that she wanted to stay out of the limelight but due to the huge outcry for her to run again she just has to.

That was the endgame for "The Russians!" narrative all along. The DNC is still full of Clinton Machine people and those who aren't fear that Machine.

Posted by: Brian in New Orleans at July 27, 2017 01:22 PM (UBzPO)

10 Ozzin nowees tard.

Posted by: Gunslinger at July 27, 2017 01:22 PM (4S7hN)

11 Hillary! screeches, "What happened to my fifty points!"

Posted by: Anna Puma (HQCaR) at July 27, 2017 01:22 PM (8faxC)

12 What sane person, left or right, would invest a dime in this barbaric slaughter of innocent tree citizen5?

Posted by: Northernlurker at July 27, 2017 01:22 PM (fMlsJ)

13 I make boom in my pants.

Posted by: Hillary! at July 27, 2017 01:22 PM (/tuJf)

14 the working title was "Da Fvck?!"

Posted by: Pug Mahon at July 27, 2017 01:23 PM (RwwCT)

15 I hope she never leaves...The FAB is the gift that keeps on giving

Posted by: Nevergiveup at July 27, 2017 01:23 PM (5y11N)

16 Hillary! is political kudzu.

She got edged out of being President by Al Gore, Gaylord Merkin Focker the Wurst, and Donald Trump. But she is still around...

Posted by: Anna Puma (HQCaR) at July 27, 2017 01:24 PM (8faxC)

17 even the title is unoriginal. Scott McClellan, a spokesweasel for Dubya, also wrote a "What Happened" memoir. which was likewise full of ass covering squid ink.

Posted by: Boulder terlit hobo at July 27, 2017 01:24 PM (K7Pxq)

18 Why doesn't somebody who loves her talk her into retiring to a life of gin soaked bliss,

Posted by: Northernlurker at July 27, 2017 01:24 PM (fMlsJ)

19 The book cover is just crying out for a picture of an empty Grey Goose bottle or two.

Posted by: Barack Obama is a bad, bad man at July 27, 2017 01:25 PM (LISuA)

20 Using a hospital sign as your logo when you're 70 years old isn't smart. Spending a year and tens of millions of dollars to get that logo is just downright dumb.

Posted by: Caesar North of the Rubicon at July 27, 2017 01:25 PM (jK8Z7)

21 The book should have been called:

Wait ... What?

Posted by: Jack Sock at July 27, 2017 01:25 PM (KtcMg)

22 Shoulda been honest and called it "What the Fvck Happened?"

Posted by: Deplorable Jay Guevara at July 27, 2017 01:25 PM (SRKgf)

23 I've been sick of Hillary and her unbearable smug mendacity since 1992.

That's it. I can't take it no more! The bitch is literally intolerable!

Posted by: zombie at July 27, 2017 01:25 PM (DQ4Fv)

24 Personally I think "what happened" is a perfect title for Hillary. I imagine she says that a lot, as she wakes up from a drunken bender or her latest collapse.

Posted by: Christopher R Taylor at July 27, 2017 01:25 PM (39g3+)

25 >>Why doesn't somebody who loves her talk her into retiring to a life of gin soaked bliss,


You have the answer right there in the question

Posted by: Lizzy at July 27, 2017 01:25 PM (NOIQH)

26 I suggested "Why Didn't I Win by Fifty Points?' but this was ignored.

Posted by: Vashta Nerada at July 27, 2017 01:25 PM (7ZVPa)

27 The original title was "Fuck You, I Deserved This."

Posted by: shibumi at July 27, 2017 01:25 PM (aT+Bx)

28 Not yet widely known, but her ghost writer on this new memoir is Jeb Bush.

Posted by: Barack Obama is a bad, bad man at July 27, 2017 01:25 PM (LISuA)

29 Hillary channeling Socrates... "Wait! I drank what? *hic*"

Posted by: Anna Puma (HQCaR) at July 27, 2017 01:25 PM (8faxC)

30 Alternative title: "Downfall."

Others?

Posted by: Deplorable Jay Guevara at July 27, 2017 01:26 PM (SRKgf)

31 Holy shit!! The Nationals hit back to back to back to back home runs in the bottom of the third inning. Four back to back homers ties the MLB record. They added more in the inning. Then in the 4th, Zimmerman hit another one to tie Frank Howard's record for a DC team. What a game!

This is one of many times I bless being retired to be able to hear a day game in the middle of the week. Ha Ha!

Posted by: JTB at July 27, 2017 01:26 PM (V+03K)

32 Using a hospital sign as your logo when you're 70 years old isn't smart. Spending a year and tens of millions of dollars to get that logo is just downright dumb.

Then using "I'm with her" as a slogan is just the pinnacle of being out of touch with America.

Posted by: Christopher R Taylor at July 27, 2017 01:26 PM (39g3+)

33 I think I already did my good jokes on this in the morning. Acey needs to start putting in a full day at the HQ.

Posted by: Banana Splits Guy at July 27, 2017 01:26 PM (4ayRW)

34 Youv'e been thunderstruck!

Posted by: GT 5.0 at July 27, 2017 01:26 PM (beQoZ)

35 Using a hospital sign as your logo when you're 70 years old isn't smart.
Spending a year and tens of millions of dollars to get that logo is
just downright dumb
---

My graphic design team is from Pockeystahn.

Posted by: HILLARY! at July 27, 2017 01:26 PM (aT+Bx)

36 Look. Anyone who says I'm a miserable cunt who could be the most despicable woman who ever lived really doesn't know me.

Posted by: Hillary! at July 27, 2017 01:26 PM (qJhUV)

37 Wasn't there an Abbot N Costello bit called "What Happened" ?


Couldn't have been funnier than this cluster fuck.


Posted by: dananjcon at July 27, 2017 01:26 PM (WLK0w)

38 I can't wait for the sequel:

Why My Diaper Is Full

Posted by: Dack Thrombosis at July 27, 2017 01:26 PM (4ErVI)

39 >>Using a hospital sign as your logo when you're 70 years old isn't smart.
Spending a year and tens of millions of dollars to get that logo is
just downright dumb.

Particularly when you travel via an ambulance tricked out to look like a regular black SUV VIP transport.

Posted by: Lizzy at July 27, 2017 01:27 PM (NOIQH)

40 There are few people more credulous than those who believe politicians write their own books. I'm looking at you, Buckley.

Posted by: Christopher R Taylor at July 27, 2017 01:27 PM (39g3+)

41 18 Why doesn't somebody who loves her talk her into retiring to a life of gin soaked bliss,
Posted by: Northernlurker at July 27, 2017 01:24 PM (fMlsJ)



You see the problem there, right?

Posted by: Deplorable Jay Guevara at July 27, 2017 01:27 PM (SRKgf)

42 Look. Anyone who says I'm a miserable cunt who could be the most despicable woman who ever lived really doesn't know me.
=======

I know. You're a lot worse.

Posted by: Chelsea at July 27, 2017 01:27 PM (vg8iE)

43 This will be a book not written by Clinton, not read by anybody, and yet it will somehow hit #1 on the NYT list.

Posted by: Witchdoktor, AKA VA GOP Sucks at July 27, 2017 01:27 PM (PFy0L)

44 31 ... Sorry. Should have said O/T. Oops.

Posted by: JTB at July 27, 2017 01:27 PM (V+03K)

45 bint should have stayed in the woods and talked to the trees. at least the neighborhood dogs would have had a place to relieve themselves.

Posted by: chavez the hugo at July 27, 2017 01:27 PM (KP5rU)

46 the Phillies pantsed the Astros last night 0-9. pity noone saw it because they'd lost the first two games

Posted by: Boulder terlit hobo at July 27, 2017 01:27 PM (K7Pxq)

47
She definitely needs a ? at the end of the title.

Posted by: Guy Mohawk at July 27, 2017 01:27 PM (r+sAi)

48 Paging Fred Willard from 'A Mighty Wind'...

Posted by: Mark Andrew Edwards at July 27, 2017 01:27 PM (3OIiX)

49 Hillary Will Offer Personal, Candid Rehash of All Her Scripted Robotic Excuses in New Book "What Happened"

LOL.

All I can 't think of is that ad from years ago for some medical alert system:

" I've fallen and I can't get up"

What happened??!!

Posted by: FenelonSpoke at July 27, 2017 01:28 PM (iVOAv)

50 Chelsea and her fraudster sperm donor need to keep their swank NYC apartment, so Hillary has to keep campaigning.

Posted by: Anna Puma (HQCaR) at July 27, 2017 01:28 PM (8faxC)

51 Rumor has it that Hill drank so much cheap vodka that you could say the Russians yacked the election.

Posted by: Muldoon at July 27, 2017 01:28 PM (mvenn)

52 Heh. Sec of the Interior Zinke called Murkowski to express WH displeasure with her position on Obamacare repeal.

Nice oil state you got there Lisa, be a shame if something happened to it.

Posted by: JackStraw at July 27, 2017 01:28 PM (/tuJf)

53 Stolen from someone in an earlier thread:

What Happened?

What Difference Does it Make?

Posted by: Lizzy at July 27, 2017 01:28 PM (NOIQH)

54 Nats need some solid relief and they'd be amazing this year.

Posted by: Christopher R Taylor at July 27, 2017 01:29 PM (39g3+)

55 Personally I think "what happened" is a perfect title for Hillary. I imagine she says that a lot, as she wakes up from a drunken bender or her latest collapse.

"What Happened" has a better ring to it than "Where The Hell Am I And What Is This Kewpie Doll Doing In The Alley With Me? HUMA!!!!!"

Posted by: Witchdoktor, AKA VA GOP Sucks at July 27, 2017 01:29 PM (PFy0L)

56 I'm with Herb.

Posted by: Les Nessman at July 27, 2017 01:29 PM (IqV8l)

57 She really should have called it 'My Struggle'. Just get it out there, pull the sheet off....so to speak.

Posted by: Mark Andrew Edwards at July 27, 2017 01:29 PM (3OIiX)

58 The real reason Hillary lost is she took two Blue States for granted and did no real leg work campaigning there.

Thank God for her arrogance.

Posted by: Jack Sock at July 27, 2017 01:29 PM (KtcMg)

59
Where Did All This Water Come From

By Capt Edward Smith

Posted by: Deplorable Male Logic at July 27, 2017 01:29 PM (lKyWE)

60 And recall that this stupid, failed, criminal, sociopathic train-wreck won the "popular vote". Yeah yeah yeah CA NY ILL etc.

Still.


Posted by: rhomboid at July 27, 2017 01:29 PM (QDnY+)

61 She's a power-mad drunk.

And she gots the kuru.

That's what happened.

Posted by: Your Decidedly Devious Uncle Palpatine. All Honor & Glory to Kekistan! at July 27, 2017 01:29 PM (fA1SL)

62 Heh. Sec of the Interior Zinke called Murkowski to express WH displeasure with her position on Obamacare repeal.

Nice oil state you got there Lisa, be a shame if something happened to it.
Posted by: JackStraw at July 27, 2017 01:28 PM (/tuJf)

Heh.
Go, Trump

Posted by: Mark Andrew Edwards at July 27, 2017 01:29 PM (3OIiX)

63 Its worth buying a bunch of stick-on question marks and going to book stores, modifying the covers

Posted by: Christopher R Taylor at July 27, 2017 01:29 PM (39g3+)

64 Chapter 3 is entitled "Living With Parkinson's".

Posted by: Barack Obama is a bad, bad man at July 27, 2017 01:29 PM (LISuA)

65 Last second of Seth Rich's life: "What happened?"

Posted by: Jane D'oh at July 27, 2017 01:29 PM (PY9jH)

66 Alternative title: "I'd Hit That- A Conversation with Myself in the Mirror"

Posted by: SSBN 656 (G) at July 27, 2017 01:30 PM (jjaLl)

67 the Hillary logo was shit, too. it was pointed out by the Morons that it looks like 'thisaway to the hospital'. I still sometimes see it on cars. and then I laugh and flip them off when I pass them.

Posted by: Boulder terlit hobo at July 27, 2017 01:30 PM (K7Pxq)

68 "Why am I not 50 points ahead, you might ask?"

Posted by: Hikaru at July 27, 2017 01:30 PM (XMDuf)

69 Rejected Hillary memoir title:

One Flu Over the Cuckoo's Nest

Posted by: Banana Splits Guy at July 27, 2017 01:30 PM (4ayRW)

70 Sec of the Interior Zinke called Murkowski to express WH displeasure with her position on Obamacare repeal.

Well if the senate leadership won't do its job, he has to.

Posted by: Christopher R Taylor at July 27, 2017 01:30 PM (39g3+)

71 A better title would be to simply drop off the "...d Happened" part:

Wha...???

Posted by: zombie at July 27, 2017 01:30 PM (DQ4Fv)

72 As I said on another thread, this "book" will consist in the main of three chapters:

1. You Flag-Humping Inbreds Had Your Chance
2. You Fucked Me Over
3. Now You're Going To Pay

. . .with variations ad infinitum.

Posted by: Mary Poppins' Practically Perfect Piercing at July 27, 2017 01:30 PM (X6fMO)

73 Its worth buying a bunch of stick-on question marks and going to book stores, modifying the covers

Posted by: Christopher R Taylor at July 27, 2017 01:29 PM (39g3+)


LOL! or MAGA stickers.

Posted by: Jane D'oh at July 27, 2017 01:30 PM (PY9jH)

74 Alternative title: "I'd Hit That- A Conversation with Myself in the Mirror"

Caitlyn Jenner convinced her not to.

Posted by: Boulder terlit hobo at July 27, 2017 01:30 PM (K7Pxq)

75 Working title: Lose Shit

Posted by: JackStraw at July 27, 2017 01:31 PM (/tuJf)

76 Most people who are assholes, don't realize that they are assholes.

Posted by: Mike Hammer, etc., etc. at July 27, 2017 01:31 PM (OdK9v)

77 and then I laugh and flip them off when I pass them.

Posted by: Boulder terlit hobo at July 27, 2017 01:30 PM (K7Pxq)

=======

That gives me a warm fuzzy.

Posted by: bicentennialguy at July 27, 2017 01:31 PM (vg8iE)

78 >>And recall that this stupid, failed, criminal, sociopathic train-wreck won the "popular vote". Yeah yeah yeah CA NY ILL etc.



Coincidentally, two states who are refusing to cooperate with Trump's vote fraud commission's investigation.

Posted by: Lizzy at July 27, 2017 01:31 PM (NOIQH)

79 I'll wait for deep thinkers Steve Doocey and Brian Kilmeade to review the book.

Posted by: Under Fire at July 27, 2017 01:31 PM (mcI77)

80 Loose, dammit

Talk about your loose shit.

Posted by: JackStraw at July 27, 2017 01:31 PM (/tuJf)

81 "I Coulda Been a Contender"

Posted by: Deplorable Jay Guevara at July 27, 2017 01:31 PM (SRKgf)

82 68 "Why am I not 50 points ahead, you might ask?"
Posted by: Hikaru


Even better:

50 Points Ahead, by Hillary Rodham Clinton

Posted by: zombie at July 27, 2017 01:31 PM (DQ4Fv)

83 Is it "What Happened?" or "What Happened."

I keep reading it as the first...

Posted by: LASue at July 27, 2017 01:31 PM (hZ+us)

84 *taps chin and ponders*

Via the strange and diabolical melding of science and magic, it is the year 2052 and Mummy Dearest Hillary Clinton is running again for President.

Posted by: Anna Puma (HQCaR) at July 27, 2017 01:32 PM (8faxC)

85 Her next book, written in prison, will be "My Struggle."

Posted by: geoffb5 at July 27, 2017 01:32 PM (d3wbb)

86 worth buying a bunch of stick-on question marks and going to book stores, modifying the covers

I still need to stick Pedobear Seal Of Approval on the Marion Zimmer Bradley books in our library

Posted by: Boulder terlit hobo at July 27, 2017 01:32 PM (K7Pxq)

87 Memo to The FAB and The Left:

Keep calling 50% of Americans Deplorables and Racists...Best publicity money can buy

Posted by: Nevergiveup at July 27, 2017 01:32 PM (5y11N)

88 What happened?

Posted by: Monica Lewinsky at July 27, 2017 01:32 PM (tbOMB)

89 She'll have a sequel out in 2019:

"I Tried it Your Way, with Elections, Last Time"

Posted by: Vashta Nerada at July 27, 2017 01:32 PM (7ZVPa)

90 Stolen from someone in an earlier thread:

What Happened?

What Difference Does it Make?
Posted by: Lizzy
---------------

They deserve a blue ribbon.

Posted by: Mike Hammer, etc., etc. at July 27, 2017 01:32 PM (OdK9v)

91 Rejected Hillary memoir title:

A Heart of Darkness

Posted by: Banana Splits Guy at July 27, 2017 01:32 PM (4ayRW)

92 Using a hospital sign as your logo when you're 70 years old isn't smart. Spending a year and tens of millions of dollars to get that logo is just downright dumb.
Posted by: Caesar North of the Rubicon at July 27, 2017 01:25 PM (jK8Z7)

Should have been her campaign theme song:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QGRb6btilMI

Posted by: BurtTC at July 27, 2017 01:32 PM (TOk1P)

93 She's a power-mad drunk.


And she gots the kuru.


That's what happened.Posted by: Your Decidedly Devious Uncle Palpatine. All Honor Glory to Kekistan! at July 27, 2017 01:29 PM--We do not want to be associated with That Woman.Please contact "alcohol related dementia" for any further information.

Posted by: Kuru, a by product of Soylent Brain at July 27, 2017 01:32 PM (aT+Bx)

94 "What happened??"

Posted by: Vince Foster and Seth Rich at July 27, 2017 01:33 PM (PY9jH)

95 I wonder how much it would cost to bribe the printer into putting a question mark after the book title for the first printing.

Posted by: filbert at July 27, 2017 01:33 PM (s5o+q)

96 54 ... "Nats need some solid relief and they'd be amazing this year."

Ain't that the truth. I figure the bullpen has cost them at least 10 games.

Oh shit, again. The second string catcher just hit a homer. I love this game!

Posted by: JTB at July 27, 2017 01:33 PM (V+03K)

97 "So far ahead she doesn't even think about Trump" - and yet they want us to believe that Jon Podesta's leaked emails had that much of an impact within a week to swing the election.

Posted by: josephistan at July 27, 2017 01:33 PM (7HtZB)

98
What's Happening?

Posted by: Raj and ReRun at July 27, 2017 01:33 PM (r+sAi)

99 I Fell and I Couldn't Get Up, by Hillary Rodham Clinton

Posted by: zombie at July 27, 2017 01:33 PM (DQ4Fv)

100 (wakes up with lamp shade on head snuggling empty gin bottle)

What happened?

Posted by: Brain-damaged drunk at July 27, 2017 01:33 PM (yKB8T)

101 19
The book cover is just crying out for a picture of an empty Grey Goose bottle or two.

Posted by: Barack Obama is a bad, bad man at July 27, 2017 01:25 PM (LISuA)

And broken ashtrays, freshly smashed on hotel room walls.

Posted by: The Mouse that Roared, Americans don't Serf at July 27, 2017 01:33 PM (DxWUs)

102 This is my "candid" face!

Posted by: Hillary! at July 27, 2017 01:33 PM (qJhUV)

103 Last chapter: Casting Off These Orthopedic Shoes

Posted by: Under Fire at July 27, 2017 01:33 PM (mcI77)

104 She has a new book? Pfff. At this point, what difference does it make?

Posted by: Lance McCormick at July 27, 2017 01:33 PM (u0s1P)

105 What's Happening?
Posted by: Raj and ReRun at July 27, 2017 01:33 PM (r+sAi)

And cue Bill Corbett...

Posted by: Mark Andrew Edwards at July 27, 2017 01:33 PM (3OIiX)

106 68 "Why am I not 50 points ahead, you might ask?"

Posted by: Hikaru at July 27, 2017 01:30 PM (XMDuf)

That meltdown looked so bad.

Like your alcoholic grandma on a rant about These Goddamn Girls And Their Ass Hugging Pants.

Posted by: Dack Thrombosis at July 27, 2017 01:33 PM (4ErVI)

107 "Where's My Whisky, Huma"

Posted by: filbert at July 27, 2017 01:33 PM (s5o+q)

108 What's Happenin'?

Posted by: Fred "Rerun" Berry at July 27, 2017 01:34 PM (7HtZB)

109 The woman is almost the very definition of tone deaf. I don't think she's so much in a bubble as she is a bubble, so arrogant, unwilling to listen or learn, and totally certain in her righteousness she doesn't even comprehend other people. Sociopathic.

Posted by: Christopher R Taylor at July 27, 2017 01:34 PM (39g3+)

110 What Happened?

Hillary's messaging was so angry and Anti-America, I didn't know if she wanted to be president or burn the fucking White House down.

Posted by: Fritz at July 27, 2017 01:34 PM (eLttb)

111 Princess Chelsea's next book:

"Leave Mommy Alone!"

Posted by: Jane D'oh at July 27, 2017 01:34 PM (PY9jH)

112 I saw Hillary and Her Unbearable Smug Mendacity open for Blind Ambition at a half empty high school auditorium in Schenectady in the run up to the '08 primaries.

They did a passable cover of Fleetwood Mac's Sweet Little Lies.

Posted by: Muldoon at July 27, 2017 01:34 PM (mvenn)

113 Rejected Hillary memoir title:

A Heart of Darkness
Posted by: Banana Splits Guy at July 27, 2017 01:32 PM (4ayRW)

Good one

Posted by: Mark Andrew Edwards at July 27, 2017 01:34 PM (3OIiX)

114 WTF HAPPENED!?

Posted by: Dem Donors at July 27, 2017 01:34 PM (tbOMB)

115 What Happened?

Russia happened... of course...

Posted by: This, is CNN at July 27, 2017 01:34 PM (NgKpN)

116

What happened?

Posted by: Hiroshima at July 27, 2017 01:34 PM (IqV8l)

117 The Woman with One Black Orthopedic Shoe

Posted by: Vashta Nerada at July 27, 2017 01:35 PM (7ZVPa)

118 BACK COVER BLURBS


"I've never been prouder to be Hillary's daughter than I am now that this book is out.... it's honest and poignant and...oh, I love you Mother!

Was that ok? Wait, you don't have to throw the glass at me again, I'll bring you another one right now!"


---Chelsea

Posted by: SSBN 656 (G) at July 27, 2017 01:35 PM (jjaLl)

119 "Clap On, Clap Off"

Posted by: Deplorable Jay Guevara at July 27, 2017 01:35 PM (SRKgf)

120 Ass Hugging Pants.
Posted by: Dack Thrombosis at July 27, 2017 01:33 PM (4ErVI)

I saw Ass Hugging Pants open for the Loving Soonfuls.

Posted by: Mark Andrew Edwards at July 27, 2017 01:35 PM (3OIiX)

121 Chapter 7: A stroke feels a lot like tripping acid

Posted by: Dack Thrombosis at July 27, 2017 01:35 PM (4ErVI)

122 "Somebody Cancelled the Fireworks"

Posted by: tu3031 at July 27, 2017 01:35 PM (qJhUV)

123 Alternate title:

"How To Lose At Everything."

Posted by: LASue at July 27, 2017 01:35 PM (hZ+us)

124 113 Rejected Hillary memoir title:

A Heart of Darkness
Posted by: Banana Splits Guy at July 27, 2017 01:32 PM (4ayRW)

Good one
Posted by: Mark Andrew Edwards at July 27, 2017 01:34 PM (3OIiX)

Election 2016....

the Good, the Bad and the UGLY....

Posted by: This, is CNN at July 27, 2017 01:36 PM (NgKpN)

125 Alternate title: I got shclonged!

Posted by: Ignoramus at July 27, 2017 01:36 PM (+7/1f)

126
Hot sauce! My secret talisman to authenticity!

Posted by: Krebs v Carnot: Epic Battle of the Cycling Stars (TM) at July 27, 2017 01:36 PM (ttcnd)

127 "Where's My Walker?"

Posted by: filbert at July 27, 2017 01:36 PM (s5o+q)

128 "Four Pints Ahead".

Posted by: Alternate title at July 27, 2017 01:36 PM (yKB8T)

129 and yet they want us to believe that Jon Podesta's leaked emails had that much of an impact within a week to swing the election.
--

Yes, this is EXACTLY what happened.

Plus "Russian Hacking" that is so complex and so criminally devious, that there is NO PROOF of it and there will never be proof of it. They make it seem like it never happened!

Those russkis are geniuses, I tell you, geniuses!!

Posted by: The MSM at July 27, 2017 01:36 PM (aT+Bx)

130 What Happened?


Hillary got drunk with Rog, Dwayne and Rerun.

Posted by: Benji Carver at July 27, 2017 01:36 PM (OD2ni)

131 Rejected Hillary memoir title:


"Yeah, Guido Two Fingers can't take out all of you fuckers. But, I figure he can kill at least tent thousand of you in Wisconsin before the next election."

Posted by: naturalfake at July 27, 2017 01:36 PM (NyJwR)

132 "How to Lose Friends and Piss People Off, Guaranteed"

Posted by: Deplorable Jay Guevara at July 27, 2017 01:36 PM (SRKgf)

133 I was partial to the working title: Faceplant

Posted by: Vashta Nerada at July 27, 2017 01:36 PM (7ZVPa)

134 Ain't that the truth. I figure the bullpen has cost them at least 10 games.

Ten? I'd say half their losses, at least. How many times has the starting pitcher been pulled with a win, and the team loses? Its ridiculous.

One of these days, the team is gonna pull dusty baker off a reliever with a bat in each hand, covered in spattered blood and teeth. I think he's a lousy manager, but I feel sorry for him. Leave the starter in to lose and tire out, possibly get injured, or pull him and lose to a relief staff that can't get outs to save their lives?

Posted by: Christopher R Taylor at July 27, 2017 01:36 PM (39g3+)

135 Alternate title:

"Ah Ain't No Ways Tahred"

Posted by: Jane D'oh at July 27, 2017 01:36 PM (PY9jH)

136 117: LOL.

Posted by: LASue at July 27, 2017 01:37 PM (hZ+us)

137 Funny.

Bill Clinton saved Barack Obama's Presidency.

... but he couldn't help Hillary.

Posted by: garrett at July 27, 2017 01:37 PM (0moEN)

138 What Happened?

I sucked!

That's what happened.

Posted by: Hilliary at July 27, 2017 01:37 PM (gNgc6)

139 For a Few Dollars More...

The story of the Clinton Foundation...

Posted by: Don Q. at July 27, 2017 01:37 PM (NgKpN)

140 Imagine what kind of awful person will eagerly buy and read this book.

<Sideshow Bob shudder>

Posted by: RoyalOil at July 27, 2017 01:37 PM (W1XyZ)

141 "Hot Sauce for Abuela"

Posted by: tu3031 at July 27, 2017 01:37 PM (qJhUV)

142 Chapter 7: A stroke feels a lot like tripping acid
Posted by: Dack Thrombosis at July 27, 2017 01:35 PM (4ErVI)

LOL

Oh...this is going to be a great thread!

Posted by: Mark Andrew Edwards at July 27, 2017 01:37 PM (3OIiX)

143 . . . from the author that brought you, "What Difference Does It Make?" and What? Like With A Cloth?"

Posted by: flounder, rebel, vulgarian, deplorable, winner at July 27, 2017 01:37 PM (tbOMB)

144 Princess Chelsea's next book:

"Leave Mommy Alone!"
Posted by: Jane D'oh
-------

Heh.

How about "Leave Mommy Dearest Alone!"

Posted by: Mike Hammer, etc., etc. at July 27, 2017 01:37 PM (OdK9v)

145 Somebody Cancelled the Fireworks"
----

Hahahaha.

A few years ago, I worked for the company that was supposed to do the fireworks.

/cue "It's a Small World."

Posted by: shibumi at July 27, 2017 01:37 PM (aT+Bx)

146
"What happened


Ironically the title of her new book also happens to be the most common question asked by drunks upon awakening from a blackout

Posted by: Deplorable Male Logic at July 27, 2017 01:38 PM (lKyWE)

147 "No More Wire Hangers... EVER!" by Hillary Rodham Clinton.

Posted by: Hikaru at July 27, 2017 01:38 PM (XMDuf)

148 "Four Pints Ahead".

WHY AM I NOT UP BY 50 PINTS YOU MAY ASK?

Well, I am. at least fifty. *collapses in a pile of bottles and half-empty shot glasses*

Posted by: H Rodham Clinton, named after Sir Edmund at July 27, 2017 01:38 PM (39g3+)

149 "Two Years Before the Mast Three Sheets to the Wind"

Posted by: Deplorable Jay Guevara at July 27, 2017 01:38 PM (SRKgf)

150 She is running again in 2020. This book is her test for the next campaign.

Also anyone think it is extremely odd that obama is keeping his mouth shut?

Posted by: The Great White Scotsman at July 27, 2017 01:38 PM (WmIOi)

151 147 "No More Wire Hangers... EVER!" by Hillary Rodham Clinton.

Posted by: Hikaru at July 27, 2017 01:38 PM (XMDuf)

Nice...and quick. Already up in a refresh.

Posted by: Dack Thrombosis at July 27, 2017 01:38 PM (4ErVI)

152 Is my paranoia getting completely out of hand, or are you mongoloids really talking about me?

Posted by: Ignatius J. Hillary at July 27, 2017 01:39 PM (eXSOZ)

153 ill Clinton saved Barack Obama's Presidency.

... but he couldn't help Hillary.
______________________

That's 'cuz I didn't want to help that bitch.

She's been making my life miserable for decades. It was time for some payback, if you know what I mean and I think you do.

Posted by: Bill Clinton, Energizer Bunny fan at July 27, 2017 01:39 PM (gNgc6)

154 What happened? She (it) lost. HRCWNBPOTUS?

Posted by: USNtakim at July 27, 2017 01:39 PM (zZWkn)

155 "Hang 'Em High" - the aftermath

Posted by: Deplorable Jay Guevara at July 27, 2017 01:39 PM (SRKgf)

156 What Happened - by Hillary R. Clinton. Foreword by Norma Desmond.

Posted by: Your Decidedly Devious Uncle Palpatine. All Honor & Glory to Kekistan! at July 27, 2017 01:39 PM (fA1SL)

157 Rejected Hillary memoir title:

Citizen Kunt

Posted by: Banana Splits Guy at July 27, 2017 01:39 PM (4ayRW)

158 Bleached Bitch

Posted by: JackStraw at July 27, 2017 01:39 PM (/tuJf)

159 Chelsea is the same brand of clueless arrogance and total self assurance, without even the years or accomplishments to justify it. She is absolutely certain of her rightness and wisdom.

Posted by: Christopher R Taylor at July 27, 2017 01:39 PM (39g3+)

160 . from the author that brought you, "What Difference Does It Make?" and What? Like With A Cloth?"
---

And don't forget the memorable "It Was A Video" and "I Remember Landing Under Sniper Fire."

Posted by: shibumi at July 27, 2017 01:39 PM (aT+Bx)

161 What happened? Don't know, I blacked out again last night. Hic.

Posted by: Hillary at July 27, 2017 01:39 PM (OD2ni)

162 The Flight of Hillcarus.

Posted by: The Mouse that Roared, Americans don't Serf at July 27, 2017 01:39 PM (DxWUs)

163 What happened?

Posted by: Rancid decaying side of beef at July 27, 2017 01:40 PM (A3b6q)

164 Did anyone ever figure out the fireworks?

That was cancelled a few days before or the day before I think?

They knew. Has it ever been admitted?

Posted by: Dack Thrombosis at July 27, 2017 01:40 PM (4ErVI)

165 Hillary is interesting psychology, no?

She's a misanthrope -- hates people, but wants to be worshiped.

She hates her father especially. Hence the Projection about being the victim of misogyny.

She's incredibly self-centered, and hence amoral.

She not intuitive or decisive (Bill is good on this score). Everything must be studied to death by her minions, in part so that she can blame them when things go wrong.
She's not as smart as she thinks she is. Often a problem with lawyers.

There's only one place for this kind of Leader -- a government bureaucracy. Which is where she'd be, but for Bill.

Posted by: Ignoramus at July 27, 2017 01:40 PM (+7/1f)

166 The Church of "What's Happening Now."

http://tinyurl.com/ydax5obx

Posted by: geoffb5 at July 27, 2017 01:40 PM (d3wbb)

167 Hillary wouldn't LET Bill help her campaign. Bill warned her that she was struggling in MI and WI. but no,she was focused on those nice white suburbanites in Denver and didnt give a shit about deplorables

Posted by: Boulder terlit hobo at July 27, 2017 01:40 PM (K7Pxq)

168 Also anyone think it is extremely odd that obama is keeping his mouth shut?
Posted by: The Great White Scotsman at July 27, 2017 01:38 PM (WmIOi)



Well, I dunno about that. But he's certainly not talking, that's for sure.

Posted by: Deplorable Jay Guevara at July 27, 2017 01:40 PM (SRKgf)

169 Who Moved My Graft?

Posted by: Alternate Titles at July 27, 2017 01:40 PM (tbOMB)

170 Chapter 5: it was Pneumonia dammit!

Posted by: Christopher R Taylor at July 27, 2017 01:40 PM (39g3+)

171 76 Most people who are assholes, don't realize that they are assholes.
Posted by: Mike Hammer, etc., etc. at July 27, 2017 01:31 PM (OdK9v)


OK !!! I get it. Sheesh.

Posted by: ScoggDog at July 27, 2017 01:40 PM (Niu5G)

172 Hillary won't bake cookies, nor play with grand kids.
She's got nothing else.
She won't quit.
I'm actually glad she's hanging around.
She divides the Ds.

Posted by: Ignoramus at July 27, 2017 01:41 PM (+7/1f)

173 "Where Turkeys Dare"

Posted by: Deplorable Jay Guevara at July 27, 2017 01:41 PM (SRKgf)

174 Living With The Epi Pen

Posted by: Under Fire at July 27, 2017 01:41 PM (mcI77)

175 HILLARY CLINTON WILL NEVER BE PRESIDENT

It took this long to be said?????????

Posted by: mr wolf at July 27, 2017 01:41 PM (YkEgi)

176 Rejected Hillary book title:


Catch Her in the Rye


*hic*

Posted by: Muldoon at July 27, 2017 01:41 PM (mvenn)

177 176. Nice.

Posted by: Your Decidedly Devious Uncle Palpatine. All Honor & Glory to Kekistan! at July 27, 2017 01:42 PM (fA1SL)

178 Chapter 8: That big black guy with the epi pen was totally not an emergency physician to help when I have another collapse

Posted by: Christopher R Taylor at July 27, 2017 01:42 PM (39g3+)

179 "Grifters Guide to the Galaxy"

Posted by: Deplorable Jay Guevara at July 27, 2017 01:42 PM (SRKgf)

180 Rejected Hillary book title:


The Liar, The Witch and The Bollard

Posted by: Muldoon at July 27, 2017 01:42 PM (mvenn)

181 "FARRRRRRRRRRRRT!" by Hillary Rodham Clinton.

Posted by: Hikaru at July 27, 2017 01:42 PM (XMDuf)

182 Something Wicked This Way Comes.

Posted by: Alternate Titles at July 27, 2017 01:42 PM (tbOMB)

183
Also anyone think it is extremely odd that obama is keeping his mouth shut?

His mama told him not to talk with his mouth full.

Posted by: Bertram Cabot, Jr. at July 27, 2017 01:42 PM (IqV8l)

184 Too long have I confined myself in Miltonic isolation and meditation. It is clearly time for me to step boldly into our society, not in the boring, passive manner of the Myrna Minkoff school of social action, but with great style and zest.

Posted by: Ignatius J. Hillary at July 27, 2017 01:42 PM (eXSOZ)

185 even after all this, the drunken, coughing, heaving, pimple on this countrys' ass will be on a stamp and coin someday. bank it.

Posted by: chavez the hugo at July 27, 2017 01:42 PM (KP5rU)

186 "There's only one place for this kind of Leader -- a government bureaucracy. Which is where she'd be, but for Bill. "

ym she would be working as a paralegal in a nonprofit going nowhere. she had got fired from the Watergate commission on account of being too much of an unethical cheat even for Democrats.

Posted by: Boulder terlit hobo at July 27, 2017 01:42 PM (K7Pxq)

187 >>HILLARY CLINTON WILL NEVER BE PRESIDENT


Did we ever do the Forensics to see who was the first Moron to post this?

Posted by: garrett at July 27, 2017 01:43 PM (0moEN)

188 Everyone's A Mark

Posted by: Under Fire at July 27, 2017 01:43 PM (mcI77)

189 The full title is: "What Happened You Fucking DEPLORABLE IN-BRED HICKS!!! - A Tirade and A Love Story, but Mostly a Tirade

Posted by: Granny Felonious Pantsuit at July 27, 2017 01:43 PM (A3b6q)

190 Zen and the art of shallow grave maintenance.

Posted by: Your Decidedly Devious Uncle Palpatine. All Honor & Glory to Kekistan! at July 27, 2017 01:43 PM (fA1SL)

191 I cant get enough of her being thrown into the van like a big sack of shit.

Posted by: Cannibal Bob at July 27, 2017 01:43 PM (Rndb7)

192 "You Bastards Will Pay!" a political memoir by Hillary Rodham Clinton

Posted by: tu3031 at July 27, 2017 01:43 PM (qJhUV)

193 Rejected Hillary book title:


"On The Road"


(with a foreword by Jack Kerouac)

Posted by: Muldoon at July 27, 2017 01:44 PM (mvenn)

194 The only evidence that the Russians hacked the DNC and gave to WikiLeaks is the word of Brennan, Clapper, Comey and one other Dem pol (the 4th agency head) and their analysis of who did it and why is based on evidence provided by Crowdstrike, the Dem IT security consultants. On the other side is WikiLeaks itself who said it wasn't the Russians, and hinted strongly that it was Seth Rich. Now this sleazebag is confirmed to have had access to all of it.

Yet, it's treated like settled science that the Russians did it. Seriously, WTF?

Posted by: Dirks Strewn at July 27, 2017 01:44 PM (kfcYC)

195 "Don't think that what happened to Vince Foster won't happen to you too!" by Hillary Rodham Clinton

Posted by: Hikaru at July 27, 2017 01:44 PM (XMDuf)

196 "The Dummies Guide To E-Mail Server Installation and Operation"

Posted by: filbert at July 27, 2017 01:44 PM (s5o+q)

197 Chapter 9...Those hot Huma night's
Chapter 10...Anthony Weiner could really bring it.

Posted by: Tentotwo at July 27, 2017 01:44 PM (yhf6w)

198 I'm just going to sip my cup of covfefe and enjoy Hillary's near-comical lack of self-awareness.

Posted by: Insomniac - Not Disappointed, Just Angry at July 27, 2017 01:44 PM (0mRoj)

199 Chapter 13: "That Misogynist Glass Ceiling Hurt My Campaign- and My Head"

Posted by: SSBN 656 (G) at July 27, 2017 01:44 PM (jjaLl)

200 The sequel:

The Tell-Tale Heart, An Ode to:

Shawn Lucas
Victor Thorn
Joe Montano
Seth Rich
John Ashe
Gareth Williams
Charles Ruff
Carlos Ghigliotti
Charles Wilbourne Miller
Daniel Dutko
Lt. Gen. David J. McCloud
Johnny Lawhorn Jr
James McDougal
Eric Butera
Ron Miller
Mary Caitrin Mahoney
John Hillyer
Barbara Wise
Ron Brown
Charles Meissner
Stanley Huggins
Bill Shelton
Kathy Ferguson
James Bunch
Gandy Baugh
Ed Willey
Jerry Luther Parks
Dr. Stanley Heard
Jon Parnell Walker
Vince Foster
Jim Wilhite
Victor Raiser II and Montgomery Raiser
Susan Coleman

Posted by: dananjcon at July 27, 2017 01:44 PM (WLK0w)

201 Health note: My stomach is getting out of bounds; the seams of my vendor's smock are creaking ominously

Posted by: Ignatius J. Hillary at July 27, 2017 01:45 PM (eXSOZ)

202 37 Wasn't there an Abbot N Costello bit called "What Happened" ?

third base.

Posted by: Anachronda at July 27, 2017 01:45 PM (sGtp+)

203 "If I Did It", an accounting of how I would have killed that bastard Berniebro if I'd wanted to, by Hillary Rodham Clinton

Posted by: Hikaru at July 27, 2017 01:45 PM (XMDuf)

204 Cancelling the fireworks wasn't a tell. Likely explanation is the FDNY wouldn't let them go off after 9pm or so, which was too early.

Hillaryland thought she'd win right up until the moment she didn't. It's detailed in Shattered and other sources. MSM too.

Posted by: Ignoramus at July 27, 2017 01:45 PM (+7/1f)

205 she's the past tense of

What's Happening

Posted by: Buzzsaw90 at July 27, 2017 01:45 PM (PNcou)

206 ♪ ♫ hillaroni ♬ the drunken dee cee treat! ♭ ♮

Posted by: the guy across the street at July 27, 2017 01:45 PM (sf2BM)

207 199 Chapter 13: "That Misogynist Glass Ceiling Hurt My Campaign- and My Head"
Posted by: SSBN 656 (G) at July 27, 2017 01:44 PM (jjaLl)

Sorry dearie, but that was the floor of your van.

Posted by: Insomniac - Not Disappointed, Just Angry at July 27, 2017 01:45 PM (0mRoj)

208 Chapter 5: That Damned Alt-Right Frog

Posted by: Your Decidedly Devious Uncle Palpatine. All Honor & Glory to Kekistan! at July 27, 2017 01:45 PM (fA1SL)

209
Also anyone think it is extremely odd that obama is keeping his mouth shut? Posted by: The Great White Scotsman at July 27, 2017 01:38 PM (WmIOi)

Eh as long as this isn't touching him what does he care?

Posted by: Deplorable Male Logic at July 27, 2017 01:45 PM (lKyWE)

210 The real question is:
Slab of meat or sack of potatoes?

Posted by: wth at July 27, 2017 01:45 PM (HgMAr)

211 Chapter 11: Those were totally normal glasses you can get at the Dollar Store, honest

Posted by: Christopher R Taylor at July 27, 2017 01:45 PM (39g3+)

212 "The Decline and Fall of the Clinton Empire"

Posted by: Deplorable Jay Guevara at July 27, 2017 01:46 PM (SRKgf)

213 I recommend slipping off the cover for "What Happened" and slipping it onto "Clinton Cash".

Posted by: Boulder terlit hobo at July 27, 2017 01:46 PM (K7Pxq)

214 15 I hope she never leaves...The FAB is the gift that keeps on giving
Posted by: Nevergiveup

She'll never leave, but I'm hoping that when Trump and Sessions are through with the investigations, she'll be one of many who are dragged away.

Posted by: Dirks Strewn at July 27, 2017 01:46 PM (kfcYC)

215 Alternate title:

"Bill and Hillary: The Aristocrats!"

Posted by: Jane D'oh at July 27, 2017 01:46 PM (PY9jH)

216 Alternate Book Title ...

Great Intoxications

Posted by: ScoggDog at July 27, 2017 01:46 PM (Niu5G)

217 Mrs Clinton will be spending the remaining years of her miserable life wandering the halls of Chappaqua Manor in a dirty chenille robe and fuzzy slippers muttering "Wha hoppen?".

In lucid moments she'll call up her ghost writer to come up with another book her donors will buy by the box load and "donate" to libraries for a tax write off.

Posted by: I'm Tucker Carlson and I will destroy you at July 27, 2017 01:46 PM (C7iuw)

218 Chapter Six: Macedonian Content Farmers

Posted by: Your Decidedly Devious Uncle Palpatine. All Honor & Glory to Kekistan! at July 27, 2017 01:46 PM (fA1SL)

219 Now we need a book about 4Chan's place in the election...

we can call it...

The Great White Snark Hunt!

Posted by: Ghost of Hunter S. Thompson at July 27, 2017 01:47 PM (NgKpN)

220 328 Rejected Hillary memoir title:



Great Expectations
Posted by: Banana Splits Guy at July 27, 2017 10:57 AM (4ayRW)

----------------

A better title to the book:

Huh? Wha....??

Posted by: Soona at July 27, 2017 01:47 PM (Fmupd)

221 Rejected Hillary memoir title:

Stranger in a Strange Van

Posted by: Banana Splits Guy at July 27, 2017 01:47 PM (4ayRW)

222 This reminds me of that book I wrote after I went through a two week drunk blackout.

Posted by: Abraham Lincoln at July 27, 2017 01:47 PM (A3b6q)

223 Proper etiquette while keeping your keep-a-live pump from offending.

Posted by: Under Fire at July 27, 2017 01:47 PM (mcI77)

224 "Protocols of the Elders of the DNC"

Posted by: Deplorable Jay Guevara at July 27, 2017 01:47 PM (SRKgf)

225 Chapter 11: THOSE FUCKING JEW BASTARDS!

Posted by: Insomniac - Not Disappointed, Just Angry at July 27, 2017 01:47 PM (0mRoj)

226 Chapter 2: It was brave to not go out and do a concession speech

Posted by: Christopher R Taylor at July 27, 2017 01:47 PM (39g3+)

227 Alternate title:

"What Happened? It Depends"

Posted by: Jane D'oh at July 27, 2017 01:47 PM (PY9jH)

228 18 Why doesn't somebody who loves her talk her into retiring to a life of gin soaked bliss,
Posted by: Northernlurker

That question is based on a whopper of an assumption.

Posted by: Dirks Strewn at July 27, 2017 01:47 PM (kfcYC)

229 Rejected Hillary book title:


"Olive...or twist?"


*hic*

Posted by: Muldoon at July 27, 2017 01:47 PM (mvenn)

230 Also anyone think it is extremely odd that obama is keeping his mouth shut?

Posted by: The Great White Scotsman at July 27, 2017 01:38 PM (WmIOi)


As Shep Smith can tell you, speaking with a cock in your mouth would be a test to stump Demosthenes.

Posted by: Mary Poppins' Practically Perfect Piercing at July 27, 2017 01:47 PM (X6fMO)

231 Great Expectorations

Posted by: Insomniac - Not Disappointed, Just Angry at July 27, 2017 01:47 PM (0mRoj)

232
18 Why doesn't somebody who loves her talk her into retiring to a life of gin soaked bliss,
Posted by: Northernlurker at July 27, 2017 01:24 PM (fMlsJ)


Asked and answered...

Posted by: Krebs v Carnot: Epic Battle of the Cycling Stars (TM) at July 27, 2017 01:47 PM (ttcnd)

233 "You mean hating and demonizing 2/3's of America WASN'T a good idea?"

Posted by: Sponge at July 27, 2017 01:48 PM (xttKs)

234 I can just imagine what her "State Funeral" will be like.






Actually I am looking forward to it.

Posted by: Paladin at July 27, 2017 01:48 PM (DPvCq)

235 Hillary's mysterious doctor's new book:

"Wiping Miss Hillary"

Posted by: Jane D'oh at July 27, 2017 01:48 PM (PY9jH)

236 Falling Balloons Are Evil

Posted by: Under Fire at July 27, 2017 01:48 PM (mcI77)

237 th

Posted by: Sponge at July 27, 2017 01:48 PM (xttKs)

238 Chapter 3: Oh the things you can hide under a mao suit

Posted by: Christopher R Taylor at July 27, 2017 01:48 PM (39g3+)

239 Oh Coleman, I had the most horrible dream. I lost the election and nobody liked me. And it was all because of the horrible Russians. Hic.

Posted by: Hillary at July 27, 2017 01:48 PM (OD2ni)

240 Off topic - reposted from below; If you haven't read it and have high blood pressure, risk of stroke, or tenuous hold on your sanity DO NOT READ.
++++++++++++++
Here's the 4chan slant, safe for work, only one page of text:

http://i.4cdn.org/pol/1501169362044.jpg
====

Posted by: simplemind at July 27, 2017 01:49 PM (C6xeQ)

241 Rejected Hillary book title:


"Dewars Defeats Trump-Man"


*hic*

Posted by: Muldoon at July 27, 2017 01:49 PM (mvenn)

242 "The Dark is Rising", an autobiography by Hillary Rodham Clinton.

Posted by: Hikaru at July 27, 2017 01:49 PM (XMDuf)

243 Rejected Hillary memoir title:

Brave New Floor

Posted by: Banana Splits Guy at July 27, 2017 01:49 PM (4ayRW)

244 Someone's got to bring home the bacon now that the foundation has nothing to sell......

Posted by: Sponge at July 27, 2017 01:49 PM (xttKs)

245 The Audacity of Hope, Arkansas

Posted by: The Mouse that Roared, Americans don't Serf at July 27, 2017 01:49 PM (DxWUs)

246 "Who Moved My Cheese Vodka?"

Posted by: Deplorable Jay Guevara at July 27, 2017 01:49 PM (SRKgf)

247 Chapter 4: Falling Balloons can cause any normal person to stroke out a little

Posted by: Christopher R Taylor at July 27, 2017 01:49 PM (39g3+)

248 "The Seven Habits of Highly Ineffective People"

Posted by: Deplorable Jay Guevara at July 27, 2017 01:49 PM (SRKgf)

249 219 Now we need a book about 4Chan's place in the election...
we can call it...
The Great White Snark Hunt!
Posted by: Ghost of Hunter S. Thompson at July 27, 2017 01:47 PM (NgKpN)


Hillary: "And I would've been elected, too, if it hadn't been for those meddling trolls."

Posted by: OregonMuse, AoSHQ Thought Leader at July 27, 2017 01:49 PM (Dx/9N)

250 So, that title tells me everything: she really believes that there's an entire audience out there wanting to listen to her endless excuses.

I'm betting there won't be a single, solitary instance in which she finds fault in herself--unless it's for being "too awesome" or something.

Posted by: BeckoningChasm at July 27, 2017 01:49 PM (MZcWR)

251 Chapter Nine: Catarrh and Qatar - Know the difference

Posted by: Your Decidedly Devious Uncle Palpatine. All Honor & Glory to Kekistan! at July 27, 2017 01:49 PM (fA1SL)

252 Forward: It's my turn dammit!

Posted by: USNtakim at July 27, 2017 01:49 PM (zZWkn)

253 Rejected Hillary memoir title:

Pantsuit Poopers

Posted by: Banana Splits Guy at July 27, 2017 01:49 PM (4ayRW)

254 The Oldessey

Posted by: Buzzsaw90 at July 27, 2017 01:49 PM (PNcou)

255 Hillary's mysterious doctor's new book:

"Wiping Miss Hillary"


******


Catch #22

Posted by: Muldoon at July 27, 2017 01:50 PM (mvenn)

256 222 This reminds me of that book I wrote after I went through a two week drunk blackout.
Posted by: Abraham Lincoln at July 27, 2017 01:47 PM (A3b6q)


*Lincoln looks at morning paper*

"....Oh my gawd! I freed the WHAT?!"

(Firesign Theatre routine)

Posted by: J.J. Sefton at July 27, 2017 01:50 PM (mbhDw)

257 Blue October, Red November

Posted by: Vashta Nerada at July 27, 2017 01:50 PM (7ZVPa)

258 Chapter 12: Keeping the Superpredators on the Plantation

Posted by: flounder, rebel, vulgarian, deplorable, winner at July 27, 2017 01:50 PM (tbOMB)

259 YOU ARE ALL DISRUPTING MY VALVE

Posted by: Ignatius J. Hillary at July 27, 2017 01:50 PM (eXSOZ)

260 she's a Clinton. creatures like that don't get Last Rites; they get the Rite Of Exorcism

Posted by: Boulder terlit hobo at July 27, 2017 01:50 PM (K7Pxq)

261 33 I think I already did my good jokes on this in the morning. Acey needs to start putting in a full day at the HQ.
Posted by: Banana Splits Guy at July 27, 2017 01:26 PM (4ayRW)

Your jokes can't even put in a good night, much less a good morning.

Posted by: Wynona Ryder at July 27, 2017 01:50 PM (A3b6q)

262
210 The real question is:
Slab of meat or sack of potatoes?
Posted by: wth at July 27, 2017 01:45 PM (HgMAr)


Ahem... "side of beef" was the published phrase.

Posted by: Krebs v Carnot: Epic Battle of the Cycling Stars (TM) at July 27, 2017 01:50 PM (ttcnd)

263 BACK COVER BLURBS


"Mmmmph mmmppphhhhh mmmppfffffff.... can I stop.... . mmpppphhhhhh..... it's been hours.......mmmmmmmpppphhhh..MMMMppphhhhhh the smell....mmmmmpppppfffffhhhhhh "


--- Huma Abedin

Posted by: SSBN 656 (G) at July 27, 2017 01:50 PM (jjaLl)

264 i have to go. got a rack of ribs in the smoker. they are yuge and luxurious. much more important than a weeble at this point.

Posted by: chavez the hugo at July 27, 2017 01:51 PM (KP5rU)

265 And Yet, She Pantsharted.

Posted by: Rejected Titles at July 27, 2017 01:51 PM (tbOMB)

266
"Breaking the Glass Ashtray"

Posted by: J.J. Sefton at July 27, 2017 01:51 PM (mbhDw)

267 So which lefty money man is going to be on the hook for buying 50,000 of these and stashing them in a basement somewhere?

Posted by: broseidon, semi-official komodo dragon shifter at July 27, 2017 01:51 PM (oZ6kz)

268 Rejected Hillary memoir title:

Double Indignity

Posted by: Banana Splits Guy at July 27, 2017 01:51 PM (4ayRW)

269 Appexdix: Things you can do while spending a day in Wisconsin

Posted by: Buzzsaw90 at July 27, 2017 01:51 PM (PNcou)

270 Rejected title:

"Fucking Assholes!"

Posted by: Jane D'oh at July 27, 2017 01:52 PM (PY9jH)

271
"How the Hell Did Webb Get In There?"

Posted by: J.J. Sefton at July 27, 2017 01:52 PM (mbhDw)

272 One had a photoshop new cover with one word

'Schlonged'

Posted by: illiniwek at July 27, 2017 01:52 PM (HQuBO)

273 To be fair, "Campaigning For Dummies", "How To Insult Potential Voters With Two Easy Insults", and "Collapsing Like A Side Of Beef" were already trademarked!

Posted by: Hrothgar at July 27, 2017 01:52 PM (gwPgz)

274 What happened?

What difference at this point does it make?


You lost. Go away now.

Posted by: joe, living dangerously at July 27, 2017 01:52 PM (KUaJL)

275 Robby Mook has tell-all coming out about election night. It will be tiled: "Dodging plates and lamps makes you stronger."

Posted by: Benji Carver at July 27, 2017 01:52 PM (OD2ni)

276 268. Okay, that's PERFECT.

Captures it all - the corruption and criminality, the utter darkness, of it all.

Posted by: Your Decidedly Devious Uncle Palpatine. All Honor & Glory to Kekistan! at July 27, 2017 01:52 PM (fA1SL)

277 Chapter 40: You Little Brat, Look What You've Done
Chapter 41: I'm Melting
Chapter 42: What a World

Posted by: goodluckduck at July 27, 2017 01:52 PM (yqvys)

278 "Shartered"

Posted by: Deplorable Jay Guevara at July 27, 2017 01:53 PM (SRKgf)

279 Another Title:

"Veni, Vino, and Whatever the fuckin' Latin word for "I Shat My Pantsuit"

Posted by: Hillicus Griftus at July 27, 2017 01:53 PM (A3b6q)

280 Nasty Woman

Posted by: JackStraw at July 27, 2017 01:53 PM (/tuJf)

281 275.

We don't pay mooks.

Posted by: Your Decidedly Devious Uncle Palpatine. All Honor & Glory to Kekistan! at July 27, 2017 01:53 PM (fA1SL)

282 "Hustler"

...on second thought, that might arouse too much interest.

Posted by: Mark Andrew Edwards at July 27, 2017 01:53 PM (3OIiX)

283
20 Using a hospital sign as your logo when you're 70 years old isn't smart. Spending a year and tens of millions of dollars to get that logo is just downright dumb.
Posted by: Caesar North of the Rubicon at July 27, 2017 01:25 PM (jK8Z7)


The self-congratulations in the article about the asshats who created that joke were priceless.

Posted by: Krebs v Carnot: Epic Battle of the Cycling Stars (TM) at July 27, 2017 01:53 PM (ttcnd)

284 "Can Your Eyes Do This?"

Posted by: tu3031 at July 27, 2017 01:53 PM (qJhUV)

285 Chapter 7: Even when you outspend your opponent 5 to 1, and have the press hiding your criminality, it pays not to be overconfident.

Posted by: Vashta Nerada at July 27, 2017 01:53 PM (7ZVPa)

286 "No More Mrs Nice Guy"

Posted by: Mary Poppins' Practically Perfect Piercing at July 27, 2017 01:54 PM (X6fMO)

287 276 268. Okay, that's PERFECT.

Captures it all - the corruption and criminality, the utter darkness, of it all.
Posted by: Your Decidedly Devious Uncle Palpatine. All Honor & Glory to Kekistan! at July 27, 2017 01:52 PM (fA1SL)


I thought it referred to 2008 and 2016.

Posted by: J.J. Sefton at July 27, 2017 01:54 PM (mbhDw)

288
Old and Busted Hustler

Posted by: Krebs v Carnot: Epic Battle of the Cycling Stars (TM) at July 27, 2017 01:54 PM (ttcnd)

289 So which lefty money man is going to be on the hook for buying 50,000 of these and stashing them in a basement somewhere?

Posted by: broseidon, semi-official komodo dragon shifter at July 27, 2017 01:51 PM (oZ6kz)


As a proud Virginian, my money is on my beloved Governor McAwfulle to step up and deliver for Hillary!

Posted by: Hrothgar at July 27, 2017 01:54 PM (gwPgz)

290 "I'm With Her - The Huma Abedin Story"

Posted by: Deplorable Jay Guevara at July 27, 2017 01:54 PM (SRKgf)

291 Chapter 1: Comey Baloney

Posted by: Under Fire at July 27, 2017 01:54 PM (mcI77)

292
"Master Strokes."

Posted by: J.J. Sefton at July 27, 2017 01:55 PM (mbhDw)

293 287. That, as well. BSG nailed it.

Posted by: Your Decidedly Devious Uncle Palpatine. All Honor & Glory to Kekistan! at July 27, 2017 01:55 PM (fA1SL)

294 102 This is my "candid" face!
Posted by: Hillary! at July 27, 2017 01:33 PM

*
*
I AM smiling.

Posted by: Hillary! at July 27, 2017 01:55 PM (zpYxD)

295 290 "I'm With Her - The Huma Abedin Story"
Posted by: Deplorable Jay Guevara at July 27, 2017 01:54 PM (SRKgf)


"I'm In Her."

Posted by: J.J. Sefton at July 27, 2017 01:55 PM (mbhDw)

296 I know one book we'll sure as hell never see from her ...

... From Here to Sobriety

Posted by: ScoggDog at July 27, 2017 01:55 PM (Niu5G)

297 275
Robby Mook has tell-all coming out about election night. It will be tiled: "Dodging plates and lamps makes you stronger."

Posted by: Benji Carver at July 27, 2017 01:52 PM (OD2ni)

I believe Podesta went out to tell the crowd to go home because she was too drunk at that point to get up on stage. But if she had, it would have been epic.

Posted by: Caesar North of the Rubicon at July 27, 2017 01:55 PM (jK8Z7)

298 Rejected Hillary book title:


"The Tippling Point"

Posted by: Muldoon at July 27, 2017 01:55 PM (mvenn)

299 "Bollards: My Loss in One Word"

Posted by: Jane D'oh at July 27, 2017 01:55 PM (PY9jH)

300
Mr. O'Spades !!!!

I really do not like your disrespectful tone when writing about the first woman president (almost). Mrs. Clinton is a fine role model and a healthy, vibrant woman for young people to look up to.

Posted by: Dreadlock Manbun in Austin, Texas at July 27, 2017 01:55 PM (OZmbA)

301 VAS DEFERENS CONSPIRACY : How The Patriarchy Stole the Presidency by Hillary Rodham Clinton (2017)

Posted by: garrett at July 27, 2017 01:56 PM (0moEN)

302 Chapter 14


Turn the page to see a candid photo of me without a wig on.

Posted by: SSBN 656 (G) at July 27, 2017 01:56 PM (jjaLl)

303 "Something's Fishy in Chappaqua"

Posted by: Deplorable Jay Guevara at July 27, 2017 01:56 PM (SRKgf)

304 BACK COVER BLURBS


"Mmmmph mmmppphhhhh mmmppfffffff.... can I stop.... . mmpppphhhhhh..... it's been hours.......mmmmmmmpppphhhh..MMMMppphhhhhh the smell....mmmmmpppppfffffhhhhhh "


--- Huma Abedin


Posted by: SSBN 656 (G) at July 27, 2017 01:50 PM (jjaLl)
..........

No "Bli blub you"?

Posted by: wth at July 27, 2017 01:56 PM (HgMAr)

305
I could be wrong, but I starting to think this thread is about me...

*hic*

Posted by: Hillary Clinton at July 27, 2017 01:56 PM (UMWic)

306 Chapter 15



And now for these pants!

Posted by: SSBN 656 (G) at July 27, 2017 01:56 PM (jjaLl)

307
275 Robby Mook has tell-all coming out about election night. It will be tiled: "Dodging plates and lamps makes you stronger."
Posted by: Benji Carver at July 27, 2017 01:52 PM (OD2ni)


Taking a line from Dodgeball -- "If you can dodge a lamp, you can manage a political campaign"

Posted by: Krebs v Carnot: Epic Battle of the Cycling Stars (TM) at July 27, 2017 01:57 PM (ttcnd)

308 I believe Podesta went out to tell the crowd to go home because she was too drunk at that point to get up on stage.


Posted by: Caesar North

--

He went instead of her, because screaming four letter words and throwing things at the crowd makes for bad live television.

Posted by: Vashta Nerada at July 27, 2017 01:57 PM (7ZVPa)

309
Da Drunkie Code

Posted by: Deplorable Male Logic at July 27, 2017 01:57 PM (lKyWE)

310 Failure: My Life's Work

Posted by: JackStraw at July 27, 2017 01:57 PM (/tuJf)

311 You see, what had happen was...

Posted by: Eli Cash at July 27, 2017 01:57 PM (iCGNr)

312 yo

Posted by: Ralph at July 27, 2017 01:57 PM (lEhiV)

313 Chapter 14: Discretion is the Better Part of Wrangling Your Husband's Hookers.

Posted by: flounder, rebel, vulgarian, deplorable, winner at July 27, 2017 01:58 PM (tbOMB)

314 He went instead of her, because screaming four letter words and throwing things at the crowd makes for bad live television.
Posted by: Vashta Nerada at July 27, 2017 01:57 PM (7ZVPa)



On the contrary, it would have made for EPIC live television.

Posted by: Deplorable Jay Guevara at July 27, 2017 01:58 PM (SRKgf)

315 "101 things to do with unused fireworks"

"Deplorable Imploded"

"Taking my eye off the ball"

"One shot, 2 shots, 3 shots, shart!"

Posted by: Our Country is Screwed at July 27, 2017 01:58 PM (jxbfJ)

316
He went instead of her, because screaming
four letter words and throwing things at the crowd makes for bad live
television.



Posted by: Vashta Nerada at July 27, 2017 01:57 PM (7ZVPa)

I'd have done pay per view to see that!

Posted by: Tami, Public Ineffectual at July 27, 2017 01:58 PM (Enq6K)

317
"The Thighs Have It."

Posted by: J.J. Sefton at July 27, 2017 01:58 PM (mbhDw)

318 POTUS Run 2: Electric Boogaloo

Posted by: The Original REAL Galactic Lord Sir Covfefe at July 27, 2017 01:58 PM (nFwvY)

319 "Thank You, Sir, May I Have Another?"

Posted by: Mary Poppins' Practically Perfect Piercing at July 27, 2017 01:58 PM (X6fMO)

320 My Tell All for the Campaign will be called:

"In the Presence of Greatness : Urine, Farts and Cabbage"

Posted by: John Podesta at July 27, 2017 01:58 PM (A3b6q)

321 O/T

So I guess there are some AoSHQ morons in Finland?


http://tinyurl.com/y72644au




Posted by: Ralph at July 27, 2017 01:58 PM (lEhiV)

322 I know why the crazed bint sings.

Posted by: The Mouse that Roared, Americans don't Serf at July 27, 2017 01:59 PM (DxWUs)

323
"The Huma Comedy."

Posted by: J.J. Sefton at July 27, 2017 01:59 PM (mbhDw)

324 Another alternate title could have been:


"I now know what a Bollard is" - by Hillary Clinton

Posted by: Tami, Public Ineffectual at July 27, 2017 01:59 PM (Enq6K)

325 Chapter 8:

This muff smells like weiner.


Posted by: dananjcon at July 27, 2017 01:59 PM (WLK0w)

326 Chapter 15: Cigars, humidors and dress stains"

Posted by: Our Country is Screwed at July 27, 2017 01:59 PM (jxbfJ)

327 Oops, forgot that one in Schenectady...

...Catch #23

Oh, yeah, the rally in Toledo...

...Catch #24


/EpiPen Guy

Posted by: Muldoon at July 27, 2017 01:59 PM (mvenn)

328 35
Using a hospital sign as your logo when you're 70 years old isn't smart.

ROFL .. .. ...... ..

Posted by: undocumented illegal SMOD at July 27, 2017 02:00 PM (e8kgV)

329 He went instead of her, because screaming

four letter words and throwing things at the crowd makes for bad live

television.

I would've watched that

Posted by: tu3031 at July 27, 2017 02:00 PM (qJhUV)

330 because screaming
four letter words and throwing things at the crowd makes for bad live
television.


Cenk Uygur proves otherwise.

Posted by: Boulder terlit hobo at July 27, 2017 02:00 PM (K7Pxq)

331
"Weak End of Bernie's."

Posted by: J.J. Sefton at July 27, 2017 02:00 PM (mbhDw)

332 This reminds me of MMA fighters who get knocked out, and when they come to, ask "Who won?". If you have to ask, you probably lost.

In this case, "What Happened?"is probably what Hillary said when she sobered up after passing out. At least she had a 50% chance of passing out from celebratory drinking in that case...

But there was 100% she was drinking that night, just like every night.

Posted by: Grimaldi at July 27, 2017 02:00 PM (V/f/L)

333
Posted by: goodluckduck at July 27, 2017 01:52 PM (yqvys)


LOL! Bravo!

Posted by: Krebs v Carnot: Epic Battle of the Cycling Stars (TM) at July 27, 2017 02:00 PM (ttcnd)

334 What Happened?


The US dodged a bulletfreaking nuclear missile aimed at our constitution

Posted by: Vashta Nerada at July 27, 2017 02:00 PM (7ZVPa)

335 Chapter 21: I Thought Obama Said 47, Not 57 States

Posted by: undocumented illegal SMOD at July 27, 2017 02:01 PM (e8kgV)

336 "I believe Podesta went out to tell the crowd to go home because she was too drunk at that point to get up on stage. But if she had, it would have been epic.
Posted by: Caesar North of the Rubicon"


Absolutely that was the case. It would have been like Dennis Hopper stumbling on to the basketball court mid-game in Hoosiers.

Posted by: Benji Carver at July 27, 2017 02:01 PM (OD2ni)

337 "The Ashtray Diaries"

Posted by: Deplorable Redneck Bitter Clinger at July 27, 2017 02:01 PM (jAZR9)

338 The Sisterhood of the Traveling Pantsuits.

Posted by: Boss Moss at July 27, 2017 02:01 PM (LjR2k)

339 Why just a book? Let's make this a movie. It'll be a great comedy. Here I'll start:

Outside, night. A wealthy estate in Chappaqua. The date "Feb 2, 2016" is displayed on the screen.

Vivaldi plays as the camera pans in on the house through a window. The Audience sees BILL CLINTON through the curtains.

BILL CLINTON DUCKS and a Tiffani Lamp hits the wall behind him.

Record Scratch - Music stops.

BILL CLINTON stands up. The video pauses.

BILL CLINTON, NARRATOR: That's me, Bill Clinton. You're probably wondering how we got here. Let's back up a bit. It all started about 8 years ago...

Posted by: joe, living dangerously at July 27, 2017 02:01 PM (KUaJL)

340 320 My Tell All for the Campaign will be called:

"In the Presence of Greatness : Urine, Farts and Cabbage"
Posted by: John Podesta at July 27, 2017 01:58 PM (A3b6q)

If Hillary had won my Campaign book was going to be titled:

"I Love the Smell of Victory in the Morning, It Smells Like Urine, Farts and Cabbage"

Posted by: John Podesta at July 27, 2017 02:01 PM (A3b6q)

341 Chapter 4: Makeup Tips To Make You Look Almost Human

Posted by: Under Fire at July 27, 2017 02:01 PM (mcI77)

342 Appendix 1: how is that rat bastard Podesta still alive?

Posted by: Christopher R Taylor at July 27, 2017 02:02 PM (39g3+)

343
"Spatton."

Posted by: J.J. Sefton at July 27, 2017 02:02 PM (mbhDw)

344 Chapter 8:

This muff smells like weiner.

===============

need new monitor

Posted by: simplemind at July 27, 2017 02:02 PM (oqcSx)

345 Rejected Hillary book title:


Robbed: I Had To Suck Bill's Cock To Get This Far

Posted by: Fritz at July 27, 2017 02:03 PM (2Mnv1)

346 Given the longstanding propensity of Her Nibs to be either drunkenly falling on her face or collapsing like a sack of potatoes,_Profiles in Floorage_ comes to mind.

Posted by: torquewrench at July 27, 2017 02:03 PM (ujwCG)

347 What Happened: "I hired a Millennial twink and a staff of Brooklyn hipsters who hated Middle America to run my campaign."

Posted by: V the K at July 27, 2017 02:03 PM (O7MnT)

348
I can see it now. Hordes of sarcastic right-wingers in bookstores strategically placing post-it-notes on the cover.

The notes have a single character.

"?"

Posted by: IllTemperedCur at July 27, 2017 02:03 PM (iFZVz)

349 What Happened
...........

It's what she says every time we hoist her up off the concrete.

Posted by: Hillary!s Secret Service at July 27, 2017 02:03 PM (HgMAr)

350 "My Life As The Wife Of Bill"

Posted by: Deplorable Redneck Bitter Clinger at July 27, 2017 02:04 PM (jAZR9)

351 Rejected Hillary book title: "The Rum, Vodka, Phenobarbitol, and Diezepam Diaries" Or "Fear and Loathing of Middle America."

Posted by: V the K at July 27, 2017 02:04 PM (O7MnT)

352 Rejected Hillary book titles:


"The Fall of the House of Lushes"

Posted by: Muldoon at July 27, 2017 02:05 PM (mvenn)

353 Alternate title:

Poll Dancer

Posted by: Quilter's Irish Death at July 27, 2017 02:05 PM (DIN/1)

354 What happened: COVFEFE!

Posted by: simplemind at July 27, 2017 02:05 PM (3ZsWq)

355 This whole sorry chapter of our lives has been a terrible experience for everyone. Let us agree to never speak of Hillary Clinton again, except to note in passing that she will never be president.

Posted by: davedavedavearf at July 27, 2017 02:05 PM (BLayO)

356 How I Got Wienered - The Importance of IT Security

Posted by: Vashta Nerada at July 27, 2017 02:05 PM (7ZVPa)

357 330 because screaming
four letter words and throwing things at the crowd makes for bad live
television.

Cenk Uygur proves otherwise.
Posted by: Boulder terlit hobo at July 27, 2017 02:00 PM (K7Pxq)


Heh.

Posted by: rickl at July 27, 2017 02:05 PM (xjiRE)

358 Missed it by thatttt much.

Posted by: The Mouse that Roared, Americans don't Serf at July 27, 2017 02:05 PM (DxWUs)

359
"Angela's Ashtrays."

Posted by: J.J. Sefton at July 27, 2017 02:05 PM (mbhDw)

360 It's what she says every time we hoist her up off the concrete.


*****


Catch #25

Posted by: Muldoon at July 27, 2017 02:06 PM (mvenn)

361 Chapter 9 "Chelsea - what a tangled Webster we weave"

Posted by: Our Country is Screwed at July 27, 2017 02:06 PM (jxbfJ)

362 The Rise and Fall of the Drunk Shrike

Posted by: The Original REAL Galactic Lord Sir Covfefe at July 27, 2017 02:06 PM (nFwvY)

363 She should have released a sex tape.

Posted by: CSMBigBird at July 27, 2017 02:06 PM (jsWA8)

364 "Ask Not For Whom the Ashtray Was Thrown - It Was Thrown at Thee"

Posted by: Deplorable Jay Guevara at July 27, 2017 02:06 PM (SRKgf)

365 She seems nice.

Posted by: Cicero (@cicero) at July 27, 2017 02:06 PM (Mouru)

366 "IT WAS...MY TURN!"

Posted by: tu3031 at July 27, 2017 02:06 PM (qJhUV)

367 "The Deplorable Book of Being Me"

Posted by: Deplorable Redneck Bitter Clinger at July 27, 2017 02:06 PM (jAZR9)

368 "Damn The Bollards -- Full Speed Ahead!"

*hic*

Posted by: Hillary! 2016, Who Will Never Be President of the United States at July 27, 2017 02:07 PM (Mouru)

369 'Fuck you peasants! I'm rich.'

Posted by: Your Decidedly Devious Uncle Palpatine. All Honor & Glory to Kekistan! at July 27, 2017 02:07 PM (fA1SL)

370
Chapter 10: Git Along, Li'l Doggies -- How Hundreds of Feet of Cordage Helped Manage My Relations With The Press

Posted by: Krebs v Carnot: Epic Battle of the Cycling Stars (TM) at July 27, 2017 02:07 PM (ttcnd)

371 Follow up from everyone else:

"Who Cares?"

Posted by: Sponge at July 27, 2017 02:07 PM (xttKs)

372 Rejected Hillary book title: If You Like Your Blue Dress...

Posted by: dananjcon at July 27, 2017 02:08 PM (WLK0w)

373 Chapter 10: Why you should never get back in the campaign van after a visit to Chipotle

Posted by: wth at July 27, 2017 02:08 PM (HgMAr)

374 The Blaming from the Shrew

Posted by: The Original REAL Galactic Lord Sir Covfefe at July 27, 2017 02:08 PM (nFwvY)

375 Rejected Hillary memoir title:

The Old Man and the C

Posted by: Banana Splits Guy at July 27, 2017 02:08 PM (4ayRW)

376 Here's what happened, toots. You spent over a billion dollars - much of it Saudi money, three times as much as your opponent. You had the most overtly and complete news media cheerleading and free campaigning in American history. You had everyone in entertainment and celebrities by the score backing you up. You had the DNC cheating and playing tricks to make sure you were the nominee at all costs.

And you lost anyway.

Posted by: Christopher R Taylor at July 27, 2017 02:08 PM (39g3+)

377 Being Veruca Salt

Posted by: The Mouse that Roared, Americans don't Serf at July 27, 2017 02:08 PM (DxWUs)

378 How to Win Elections and Influence Peddle

Posted by: Buzzsaw90 at July 27, 2017 02:08 PM (PNcou)

379 Hilary got beat like a government mule. That's what happened.

Posted by: sinalco at July 27, 2017 02:08 PM (yODqO)

380 Thirty Seconds on the Pavement

Posted by: Vashta Nerada at July 27, 2017 02:08 PM (7ZVPa)

381 Lessons Learned: When you're bought, stay that way.

Posted by: Your Decidedly Devious Uncle Palpatine. All Honor & Glory to Kekistan! at July 27, 2017 02:08 PM (fA1SL)

382 I went on a gleeful Twitter spree this morning, coming up with all kinds of fun and exciting alternative titles.


Some of my personal favorites:

MY HUSBAND IS NOT A RAPIST
(And any woman who says otherwise is a cheap whore who was asking for it)



I STAND FOR ALL WOMEN
(Unless I represented the man who raped you as a child, in which case I laugh about getting him off the hook, you dumb hick)



I LIKE MY BLACKBERRY
FUCK DA POLICE



LIBYA!
(Or "How I Learned To Pretend I Didn't Botch an Unnecessary Regime Change and Get Four Americans Killed in Benghazi, Then Lied To Their Families)



MY DAUGHTER IS NOT A HORSE

Posted by: MWR, Public Intellectual, aka Beth at July 27, 2017 02:09 PM (4df7R)

383 "The Screwtape Letters" by Hillary Rodham Clinton

Posted by: Hikaru at July 27, 2017 02:09 PM (WDCYi)

384 If I Didn't

By
Hillary
Rodham
Clinton

Posted by: BourbonChicken at July 27, 2017 02:09 PM (rnAwa)

385 Her editors suggested "Shlonged" but after one was put into the hospital from an ashtray and another died in a robbery on the way home, they went with this title instead.

Posted by: Christopher R Taylor at July 27, 2017 02:09 PM (39g3+)

386 Foreword: Exploring the Losertania, with Robert Bollard

Posted by: Sporkatus at July 27, 2017 02:09 PM (eXSOZ)

387
Yeah,, I'm pretty sure now that this is about me...

*hic*

Posted by: Hillary Clinton at July 27, 2017 02:10 PM (UMWic)

388 Alternate title: Bubbemeisah.

Posted by: mercenary13 at July 27, 2017 02:10 PM (Hm+cj)

389 Perhaps just use stickers below the title to elaborate on it a bit.

_What Happened_
_Where Am I_
_What Time Is It_
_What DAY Is It_
_Where's My Fucking Shoe_
_BBBBIIIIILLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL!!!_

Posted by: torquewrench at July 27, 2017 02:10 PM (ujwCG)

390 Catch-270

Posted by: Buzzsaw90 at July 27, 2017 02:10 PM (PNcou)

391 "Chronicles of Never Being President of the United States"

A tome, by HRC

Posted by: Deplorable Redneck Bitter Clinger at July 27, 2017 02:10 PM (jAZR9)

392 "Charlotte's Web(b's Granddaughter)"

Posted by: Hikaru at July 27, 2017 02:11 PM (WDCYi)

393 And you lost anyway.

Posted by: Christopher R Taylor at July 27, 2017 02:08 PM (39g3+)

And you had obama's national security apparatus spying on your political opponents. That's key.

Posted by: flounder, rebel, vulgarian, deplorable, winner at July 27, 2017 02:11 PM (tbOMB)

394 I like Schlicter's term for her -- Felonia von Pantsuit

Now if Sessions could make this happen, I'd be willing to cut him some yuge luxurious breaks in the future. I might even try to forgive him for CAF Lite, speaking of which...

MS passed a bill for CAF reform, with the need for a warrant to seize anything and other requirements; back in March, the governor signed the new set of requirements. This made MS the 18th state to reform their CAF laws.

Baby steps.

Posted by: GnuBreed at July 27, 2017 02:11 PM (6jaju)

395 The cover needs pop, some color. I suggest a faded image of a single shoe on a sidwalk next to a bollard, as a background.

Posted by: Christopher R Taylor at July 27, 2017 02:11 PM (39g3+)

396 mmmmm. Dude from the AGs office is leading off todays WH presser to talk about MS13.

Posted by: JackStraw at July 27, 2017 02:11 PM (/tuJf)

397 Hilary's End

Posted by: Buzzsaw90 at July 27, 2017 02:12 PM (PNcou)

398 Chapter 9:

Protein gets out Protein


Posted by: dananjcon at July 27, 2017 02:12 PM (WLK0w)

399 @366 "IT WAS...MY TURN!"
---------------

"No... it was... not!"

Posted by: Bil Shatner at July 27, 2017 02:12 PM (Q6qiA)

400 Remember the fawning, hagiographic video documentary about Bill which the DNC produced in '92 to introduce him to unfamiliar voters, _The Man From Hope_?

To be bookended with Hillary's version, _The Woman From Choke_.

Posted by: torquewrench at July 27, 2017 02:12 PM (ujwCG)

401 All The Presidents Are Men

Posted by: The Original REAL Galactic Lord Sir Covfefe at July 27, 2017 02:12 PM (nFwvY)

402 Maybe a joint book with Hillary and Jeb!:

A tale of two shitties

Posted by: Grimaldi at July 27, 2017 02:12 PM (V/f/L)

403 Prologue: "I take full responsibility for the failures of our campaign."

Chapters 1 - 40: "How it was everybody else's fault."

Posted by: V the K at July 27, 2017 02:13 PM (O7MnT)

404 396
mmmmm. Dude from the AGs office is leading off todays WH presser to talk about MS13.

Posted by: JackStraw at July 27, 2017 02:11 PM (/tuJf)

He speaks Spanish well...yet he's Asian. I'm so confused.

Posted by: Tami, Public Ineffectual at July 27, 2017 02:13 PM (Enq6K)

405 394. It's a good monniker. Madame Maomu is also good. Abuela Borracha works, riffing on that stupid 'X ways Hillary is just like your abuela' thing her campaign put out.

Posted by: Your Decidedly Devious Uncle Palpatine. All Honor & Glory to Kekistan! at July 27, 2017 02:13 PM (fA1SL)

406 You should put some ice on that.

Posted by: PitBill Clinton at July 27, 2017 02:13 PM (qYCgM)

407 More titles! I apparently had nothing better to do this morning...


MY FOUNDATION IS NOT A SLUSH FUND, AND I DO NOT SELL FAVORS TO FOREIGN GOVERNMENTS
Have You Been To Sunny Saudi Arabia Lately? Why Not Book Your Trip Today!



$250,000/SPEECH
Private Jet, Presidential Suite, Meals and Incidentals for Self and Staff Are Extra and Non-Negotiable.

You're Welcome.




I AM A WARM HUMAN WITH MUCH SINCERITY
And I Will Focus Group My Personality Until Someone Believes Me



NO ONE TOLD ME THOSE IRREDEEMABLE DEPLORABLES COULD VOTE

Posted by: MWR, Public Intellectual, aka Beth at July 27, 2017 02:13 PM (4df7R)

408

Madame Bovinery

Posted by: Muldoon at July 27, 2017 02:13 PM (mvenn)

409 It never gets old:

HuffPost @HuffPost
Our @pollsterpolls model gives @HillaryClinton a 98.1% chance of winning the presidency

12:25 PM - Nov 7, 2016

Posted by: WhatWhatWhat? at July 27, 2017 02:13 PM (s/EUv)

410 "Cattle Futures!" Hillary Clinton's investment strategies for young investors!


Posted by: catman at July 27, 2017 02:14 PM (5H2BV)

411 Meine Korruption would be more fitting. Of course, she could just name all of her books that.

Posted by: kathysaysso at July 27, 2017 02:14 PM (vkS2Z)

412 Atlas Queefed.

Posted by: Boss Moss at July 27, 2017 02:14 PM (LjR2k)

413 Blue Muumuu

Posted by: wth at July 27, 2017 02:14 PM (HgMAr)

414 The Titanic, Part II

Posted by: Vashta Nerada at July 27, 2017 02:14 PM (7ZVPa)

415 Hotair linking an NYT article, citing more unnamed sources describing Trump advisors telling Trump not to fire Sessions, lest he risk 'conservative backlash'.



Yeah, the conservatives are going to nuke Trump for getting rid of a seemingly do-nothing AG at a time when there are just shy of a million different crooks, crimes, and conspiracies needing prosecuting.


Who even comes up with this crap, and where are the dummies that actually believe it?

Posted by: Kinley Ardal at July 27, 2017 02:14 PM (6JL3d)

416
"An Early Night."

Posted by: J.J. Sefton at July 27, 2017 02:14 PM (mbhDw)

417 Any of my friends bring this up on Facebook, and I'm going to repost the link to the group that did the gender-swapped presidential debates. Those people figured it out pretty quick.

Posted by: junior at July 27, 2017 02:14 PM (Q6qiA)

418 Phat on a Hot Tin . . . *collapses* *loses shoe*

Posted by: flounder, rebel, vulgarian, deplorable, winner at July 27, 2017 02:15 PM (tbOMB)

419

Huckleberry Finis

Posted by: Muldoon at July 27, 2017 02:15 PM (mvenn)

420 Dude is that Asst. to the Asst. AG.


Kinda like George Costanza.....

Posted by: Tami, Public Ineffectual at July 27, 2017 02:15 PM (Enq6K)

421 And you had obama's national security apparatus spying on your political opponents. That's key.


Posted by: flounder, rebel, vulgarian, deplorable, winner at July 27, 2017 02:11 PM (tbOMB)
*
The more you think about it the more you realize what an epic failure HRC was and what a TREMENDOUS job/victory PDT achieved.



Posted by: dananjcon at July 27, 2017 02:15 PM (WLK0w)

422 The snatcher drinking rye

Posted by: Quilter's Irish Death at July 27, 2017 02:15 PM (DIN/1)

423 Profiles In Vagina

Posted by: Cicero (@cicero) at July 27, 2017 02:15 PM (Mouru)

424 Failed Expectations

Posted by: flounder, rebel, vulgarian, deplorable, winner at July 27, 2017 02:15 PM (tbOMB)

425 NO REALLY.
IT'S JUST A COUGH.
IT WAS THE HEAT.
I WAS TIRED.
HONEST!


By HR Clinton

Posted by: MWR, Public Intellectual, aka Beth at July 27, 2017 02:16 PM (4df7R)

426 Seven Habits of High Functioning Sociopaths

Posted by: joe, living dangerously at July 27, 2017 02:16 PM (KUaJL)

427 "Revenge of the Coal Miners"

Posted by: tu3031 at July 27, 2017 02:16 PM (qJhUV)

428 This would have been better on the thread below but how deep does the rabbit hole go?

Debbie Wasserman Schultz's brother is running the Swan I mean case.

https://tinyurl.com/yak385rm

TRIGGER WARNING! Extremely unattractive portrait of Debbie Downer at the link.

And aforesaid brother is suspected of burying the Seth Rich murder.

https://tinyurl.com/yatevf8k

Posted by: I'm Anonosaurus Wrecks and I approved this message at July 27, 2017 02:16 PM (Nwg0u)

429 I STAND FOR ALL WOMEN
Posted by: MWR, Public Intellectual, aka Beth at July 27, 2017 02:09 PM (4df7R)


"I Stand, Albeit Unsteadily, For All Women"

Posted by: Deplorable Jay Guevara at July 27, 2017 02:16 PM (SRKgf)

430 "What happened"?

Ain't I a bitch.

Posted by: Karma at July 27, 2017 02:16 PM (suO/a)

431 "A Confederacy of Dunces"
Shit, that one's already taken...

Posted by: Grimaldi at July 27, 2017 02:16 PM (V/f/L)

432

The Great Gaffesby

Posted by: Muldoon at July 27, 2017 02:16 PM (mvenn)

433 "A Nightmare on K Street"

Posted by: Hikaru at July 27, 2017 02:16 PM (WDCYi)

434 "I believe Podesta went out to tell the crowd to go home because she was too drunk at that point to get up on stage. But if she had, it would have been epic."

Same here.

Cries out for a youtube video to be made.

Posted by: sock_rat_eez, they are gaslighting us 24/7 at July 27, 2017 02:16 PM (Mcvvl)

435 "Poor Little Rich Girl: The Long Chauffeured Drive to Nowhere"

Posted by: Ballantine Books -- Now on Tap! at July 27, 2017 02:16 PM (qYCgM)

436 The Epic of Vaginal Mesh

Posted by: Quilter's Irish Death at July 27, 2017 02:16 PM (DIN/1)

437 I AM A WARM HUMAN WITH MUCH SINCERITY
And I Will Focus Group My Personality Until Someone Believes Me


I don't have you on twitter, somehow. I follow a lot of people on here, even if they don't follow back.

Posted by: Christopher R Taylor at July 27, 2017 02:17 PM (39g3+)

438
404 396
mmmmm. Dude from the AGs office is leading off todays WH presser to talk about MS13.

Posted by: JackStraw at July 27, 2017 02:11 PM (/tuJf)

He speaks Spanish well...yet he's Asian. I'm so confused.

Posted by: Tami, Public Ineffectual at July 27, 2017 02:13 PM (Enq6K)







Quite possibly Filipino.

Posted by: IllTemperedCur at July 27, 2017 02:17 PM (iFZVz)

439 "416
"An Early Night."

Posted by: J.J. Sefton"


If that worthless asshole Bill Wynn had trolled better as he was paid to, I would have won. Hic.

Posted by: Hillary at July 27, 2017 02:17 PM (OD2ni)

440 The [Fermented] Grapes of Wrath

Posted by: joe, living dangerously at July 27, 2017 02:17 PM (KUaJL)

441 A Failed Campaign Grows in Brooklyn

Posted by: josephistan at July 27, 2017 02:17 PM (7HtZB)

442 In a sane world, there should be no publisher willing to invest in a book that's not even a good enough read to put on the floor by your toilet. It likely deserves nothing less than a binding that consists of a 3-hole punch secured by some yarn. She probably got a nice advance for it instead.

Posted by: Lady in Black - Death to the Man Bun at July 27, 2017 02:17 PM (mQ0Mc)

443 THAT'S THE LAST TIME I LET MY CONSIGLIERE MARRY A PEDOPHILE

A Memoir by Hillary Clinton

Posted by: MWR, Public Intellectual, aka Beth at July 27, 2017 02:17 PM (4df7R)

444 "I Ain't No Ways Sober"

Posted by: Deplorable Jay Guevara at July 27, 2017 02:17 PM (SRKgf)

445 >>Dude is that Asst. to the Asst. AG.


>>Kinda like George Costanza.....

Yea, accept this guy has a real job. He's in charge of the MS13 issue.

Posted by: JackStraw at July 27, 2017 02:17 PM (/tuJf)

446 "The Sorrow and the Self-pity".

Posted by: Steve and Cold Bear at July 27, 2017 02:17 PM (xAvrH)

447 Never Mind the Bollards
Rage, Envy, and Spite
Revenge - A Love Story
Fifty Shakes a Day

Posted by: Your Decidedly Devious Uncle Palpatine. All Honor & Glory to Kekistan! at July 27, 2017 02:17 PM (fA1SL)

448 Profiles of Slurrage...

Posted by: catman at July 27, 2017 02:18 PM (5H2BV)

449
"The Brible."

Posted by: J.J. Sefton at July 27, 2017 02:18 PM (mbhDw)

450 "You've Got Classified E-mail"

Posted by: Ballantine Books -- Now on Tap! at July 27, 2017 02:18 PM (qYCgM)

451 Kicking That Botox Monkey From Your Back

Posted by: Under Fire at July 27, 2017 02:18 PM (mcI77)

452 That nobody from the campaign made a video of her reaction and "greatest hits" of her collapses, rants, and incoherence on the trail is truly criminal.

Posted by: Christopher R Taylor at July 27, 2017 02:18 PM (39g3+)

453 I wanted Eat A Puss Rex but figured you cousin-fucking hicks wouldn't understand the reference.

Posted by: hillary (')(,) at July 27, 2017 02:18 PM (nlbfN)

454 Dreams From My Failure

Posted by: The Original REAL Galactic Lord Sir Covfefe at July 27, 2017 02:18 PM (nFwvY)

455 It Takes a Country To Raise My Ire

Posted by: I'm Anonosaurus Wrecks and I approved this message at July 27, 2017 02:18 PM (Nwg0u)

456 The more you think about it the more you realize what an epic failure HRC was and what a TREMENDOUS job/victory PDT achieved.

Posted by: dananjcon at July 27, 2017 02:15 PM (WLK0w)


And how having the dirty IRS, Brennan, Comey, Lynch, etc., all the spying on Trump, and all they can come up with is a failed bait and switch set up on Trump Jr., that, if it were to transpire as baited, would have been perfectly legal, leads one to believe that they have nothing on Trump and he is likely clean.

Here, the process is the punishment.

Posted by: flounder, rebel, vulgarian, deplorable, winner at July 27, 2017 02:19 PM (tbOMB)

457 In a surprise twist ending, it turns out Hillary was the deplorable all along.

Posted by: V the K at July 27, 2017 02:19 PM (O7MnT)

458 @438 He speaks Spanish well...yet he's Asian. I'm so confused.

Posted by: Tami, Public Ineffectual at July 27, 2017 02:13 PM (Enq6K)







Quite possibly Filipino.
-----------------

Or Peruvian. And I'm not referring to the long-running "Peruvia" joke. There's a bunch of Japanese living in Peru. One of them even got elected president a while back (and then got in trouble for various corruption issues after wiping out the Shining Path guerillas).

Posted by: junior at July 27, 2017 02:19 PM (Q6qiA)

459 Quite possibly Filipino.

Posted by: IllTemperedCur at July 27, 2017 02:17 PM (iFZVz)

Ah ok...yes, that might explain it.
New dude up....from ICE. This guy looks like he could take down all of MS-13 by.himself.

Posted by: Tami, Public Ineffectual at July 27, 2017 02:19 PM (Enq6K)

460 OK.

Atlas Queefed is my favorite.


Posted by: garrett at July 27, 2017 02:19 PM (0moEN)

461 454. Another gem.

Posted by: Your Decidedly Devious Uncle Palpatine. All Honor & Glory to Kekistan! at July 27, 2017 02:19 PM (fA1SL)

462 If it was a book on more effective day-drinking- I'd buy it.

Posted by: Marcus T at July 27, 2017 02:19 PM (zJ3L1)

463 Lord it's attracting flies

Posted by: Quilter's Irish Death at July 27, 2017 02:19 PM (DIN/1)

464 "AH'M NOT IN NO WAYS TAHRED"
Tips and Tricks for "Talking Ethnic" on the Campaign Trail

Posted by: MWR, Public Intellectual, aka Beth at July 27, 2017 02:20 PM (4df7R)

465 Maybe she means "What Happened?"

Posted by: Caliban at July 27, 2017 02:20 PM (DrC22)

466 Dude from the AGs office is leading off todays WH presser to talk about MS13.

Unpossible. I am assured daily on this blog by experts that the justice department is doing nothing at all but collect cobwebs.

Posted by: Christopher R Taylor at July 27, 2017 02:20 PM (39g3+)

467
156 What Happened - by Hillary R. Clinton. Foreword by Norma Desmond.
Posted by: Your Decidedly Devious Uncle Palpatine. All Honor & Glory to Kekistan! at July 27, 2017 01:39 PM (fA1SL)


I am big, it's the voters who got small.

Posted by: Krebs v Carnot: Epic Battle of the Cycling Stars (TM) at July 27, 2017 02:20 PM (ttcnd)

468 Rejected Hillary title:


"Floored! Oh The Lies!"

Posted by: Muldoon at July 27, 2017 02:20 PM (mvenn)

469 Ace linked to a He-Man cartoon syn'd up to "What's Goin' On".

Posted by: Steve and Cold Bear at July 27, 2017 02:20 PM (xAvrH)

470
Drools for Tragicals.

Posted by: J.J. Sefton at July 27, 2017 02:20 PM (mbhDw)

471 458. President Alberto Fujimori, a/k/a Chino. Tough sumbitch from the Pinochet school of anti-communist counter-insurgency.

Posted by: Your Decidedly Devious Uncle Palpatine. All Honor & Glory to Kekistan! at July 27, 2017 02:20 PM (fA1SL)

472 Forget "What Happened" most of her campaign was more like "Where Am I ?"

Posted by: It's me donna at July 27, 2017 02:21 PM (O2RFr)

473 The Chappaqua Witch Project

Posted by: Cicero (@cicero) at July 27, 2017 02:21 PM (Mouru)

474 "Sniper bullets and Trump -- Never saw either one coming"

Posted by: Our Country is Screwed at July 27, 2017 02:21 PM (jxbfJ)

475 "When I Go High, Huma Goes Low"

Posted by: Deplorable Jay Guevara at July 27, 2017 02:21 PM (SRKgf)

476 "What Happened?

And that's what I thought to myself as I felt my body glide through the air to land in the back seat of the limo. I think I felt the bracket that they use to bolt me to the floor, come free off my leg braces and I heard it clatter under the limo...."

Posted by: HIC (Hillary I. Clinton) at July 27, 2017 02:21 PM (2mC6G)

477 From Russia with Hack

Posted by: Buzzsaw90 at July 27, 2017 02:21 PM (PNcou)

478 Or Peruvian. And I'm not referring to the long-running "Peruvia" joke. There's a bunch of Japanese living in Peru. One of them even got elected president a while back (and then got in trouble for various corruption issues after wiping out the Shining Path guerillas).
Posted by: junior at July 27, 2017 02:19 PM (Q6qiA)

I wonder if he tried to play the race card? Can that be done in South America?

Posted by: josephistan at July 27, 2017 02:22 PM (7HtZB)

479 464 "AH'M NOT IN NO WAYS TAHRED"
Tips and Tricks for "Talking Ethnic" on the Campaign Trail
Posted by: MWR, Public Intellectual, aka Beth at July 27, 2017 02:20 PM (4df7R)



"Sincerity Is Everything. Learn To Fake That, And You've Got It Made"

Posted by: Deplorable Jay Guevara at July 27, 2017 02:22 PM (SRKgf)

480 @471 President Alberto Fujimori, a/k/a Chino. Tough sumbitch from the Pinochet school of anti-communist counter-insurgency.
-------------------

Yup. IIRC, his daughter made the news (in a positive way) a while back as well, though I can't remember what she was doing.

Posted by: junior at July 27, 2017 02:22 PM (Q6qiA)

481 Rejected Hillary memoir title:

The Legend of Don Won

Posted by: Banana Splits Guy at July 27, 2017 02:22 PM (4ayRW)

482 "17 Felonies You Too Can Get Away With"

A self help book from a multiple felony dodging expert.

Also available on smashed hard drive and broken Kindle.

Posted by: Deplorable Redneck Bitter Clinger at July 27, 2017 02:22 PM (jAZR9)

483 Rejected Hillary title:


100 Years of Dissolute-itude

Posted by: Muldoon at July 27, 2017 02:22 PM (mvenn)

484 No Country for Old Drunks

Posted by: Buzzsaw90 at July 27, 2017 02:22 PM (PNcou)

485 How to #&@% Up the Most Expensive Campaign Run in the History of Earth

Posted by: Vashta Nerada at July 27, 2017 02:23 PM (7ZVPa)

486 Heh. That Hillary is just the "gift that keeps on giving" I really do hope she uses her graft and blackmail and sleazy paid operatives to "engineer" (read steal) her nomination again in 2020 ~ just to watch her go down in flames again.

Oh and as to alternate titles to Hillary's retarded book how about:

"The Tell~tale Shart"

Posted by: Publius Redux at July 27, 2017 02:23 PM (FjOVH)

487
Doctor! No!

Posted by: J.J. Sefton at July 27, 2017 02:23 PM (mbhDw)

488 256 222 This reminds me of that book I wrote after I went through a two week drunk blackout.
Posted by: Abraham Lincoln at July 27, 2017 01:47 PM (A3b6q)


*Lincoln looks at morning paper*

"....Oh my gawd! I freed the WHAT?!"

(Firesign Theatre routine)
Posted by: J.J. Sefton at July 27, 2017 01:50 PM (mbhDw)

Thank you for giving this comment closure

Posted by: Minuteman at July 27, 2017 02:23 PM (A3b6q)

489 She should be gazing at the back of her pantsuit stating that.

Posted by: Marcus T at July 27, 2017 02:23 PM (zJ3L1)

490 Rejected Hillary memoir title:

Blackheart Down

Posted by: Banana Splits Guy at July 27, 2017 02:23 PM (4ayRW)

491 @478 I wonder if he tried to play the race card? Can that be done in South America?
--------------------

Only if your opponent can be painted as a gringo.

Posted by: junior at July 27, 2017 02:23 PM (Q6qiA)

492
Actually, "Dr? NO!"

Posted by: J.J. Sefton at July 27, 2017 02:23 PM (mbhDw)

493 Notes From The Underworld

Posted by: flounder, rebel, vulgarian, deplorable, winner at July 27, 2017 02:23 PM (tbOMB)

494 "Why doesn't somebody who loves her talk her into retiring to a life of gin soaked bliss,"

Because to ask the question is to answer it?

Posted by: delayna at July 27, 2017 02:23 PM (KNFU5)

495 I am so happy to see the Horde has already compared this with the other Great Book Title.

"If I Did It"

This is why I come here. Also for the movie reviews.

Posted by: grognard at July 27, 2017 02:24 PM (/29Nl)

496 The MFM are truly evil bitches.

Posted by: Under Fire at July 27, 2017 02:24 PM (mcI77)

497 Referencing the unwittingly pivotal role of "Carlos Danger":

_Anthony and Crazybat-tra_

Posted by: torquewrench at July 27, 2017 02:24 PM (ujwCG)

498 480
Heh....alls I know is she is an alumna of my alma mater, which she attended incognito and with very heavy security presence. Everybody knew she had to be Somebody's daughter, but damned if we could figure out whose.

Posted by: Your Decidedly Devious Uncle Palpatine. All Honor & Glory to Kekistan! at July 27, 2017 02:24 PM (fA1SL)

499 The Press Treated Me As John Wilkes Booth Treated Lincoln

Posted by: I'm Anonosaurus Wrecks and I approved this message at July 27, 2017 02:24 PM (Nwg0u)

500
The Chronicles of Noonan.

Posted by: J.J. Sefton at July 27, 2017 02:24 PM (mbhDw)

501 The Japanese Embassy rescue mission was one of the classics in special operations history.

Posted by: josephistan at July 27, 2017 02:24 PM (7HtZB)

502 How to Fail at Almost Everything and Still Win Billions

Posted by: The Original REAL Galactic Lord Sir Covfefe at July 27, 2017 02:24 PM (nFwvY)

503 407 NO ONE TOLD ME THOSE IRREDEEMABLE DEPLORABLES COULD VOTE

Posted by: MWR, Public Intellectual,


I *like* this 'un.

Posted by: GnuBreed at July 27, 2017 02:24 PM (6jaju)

504 Or perhaps:

"How to Succeed at the Presidency without Really Trying"


Hmmm

"Gone with the Bint"

Posted by: Publius Redux at July 27, 2017 02:25 PM (FjOVH)

505 Hello darkness, my old friend.
I drank enough vodka to meet with you again.
Cause my ambition I was ruthlessly seeking.
Has left me drunkenly shrieking.
With a vision of me freshly elected.
Has been soundly rejected.
Within the sound of failure.

Posted by: The Mouse that Roared, Americans don't Serf at July 27, 2017 02:25 PM (DxWUs)

506 Bill's Secret Mistress

Posted by: Marcus T at July 27, 2017 02:25 PM (zJ3L1)

507 "$1B dollars and all I got is a "She persisted" t-shirt"

Posted by: Our Country is Screwed at July 27, 2017 02:25 PM (jxbfJ)

508 The Days of Wine and .... Gin and Vodka, and Scotch, and Bourbon,And Rum... and....

Posted by: It's me donna at July 27, 2017 02:25 PM (O2RFr)

509 _Chappaqua Schemin'_

Posted by: torquewrench at July 27, 2017 02:25 PM (ujwCG)

510
The (Global) Foundation Trilogy.

Posted by: J.J. Sefton at July 27, 2017 02:25 PM (mbhDw)

511 Nood. Get yer blood pressure meds.

Posted by: Jane D'oh at July 27, 2017 02:26 PM (PY9jH)

512 "The White Album"

Posted by: Canklemania! at July 27, 2017 02:26 PM (qYCgM)

513 How to make enemies and influence by buying people.

Posted by: USNtakim at July 27, 2017 02:26 PM (zZWkn)

514 How to dress like a winner

Posted by: Marcus T at July 27, 2017 02:26 PM (zJ3L1)

515 Harlot's web server

Posted by: Quilter's Irish Death at July 27, 2017 02:26 PM (DIN/1)

516 409 HuffPost @HuffPost

Our @pollsterpolls model gives @HillaryClinton a 98.1% chance of winning the presidency



12:25 PM - Nov 7, 2016


Yeah, you're gonna need to put some ice on that. Dry ice.

Posted by: GnuBreed at July 27, 2017 02:27 PM (6jaju)

517 Apocalypse How?

Chapter 1- "I love the smell of Gin in the morning. It smells like victory!"

Posted by: catman at July 27, 2017 02:27 PM (5jdSv)

518 Drinking Ms. Crazy

Posted by: Grimaldi at July 27, 2017 02:27 PM (V/f/L)

519 nood

Posted by: tu3031 at July 27, 2017 02:27 PM (qJhUV)

520 "506 Bill's Secret Mistress

Posted by: Marcus T"


Is Bill still tapping Belinda Stronach?

Posted by: Benji Carver at July 27, 2017 02:27 PM (OD2ni)

521 Nood, Losers.

Posted by: hillary (')(,) at July 27, 2017 02:28 PM (nlbfN)

522 I would have titled it "Dead, but Dreaming"

Posted by: Cthillary - dead but dreaming at July 27, 2017 02:28 PM (6mdX5)

523 That Finland swamp soccer says it all. "Many of the players were drunk". Too much fun!

Posted by: free tibet, with purchase of equal or greater value tibet at July 27, 2017 02:29 PM (CL76w)

524 When this tome tanks, the next iteration will be titled, Your Fault.

Posted by: AnonymousDrivel at July 27, 2017 02:30 PM (H8S+R)

525 Thank you, Ignatius !

Posted by: sock_rat_eez, they are gaslighting us 24/7 at July 27, 2017 02:33 PM (Mcvvl)

526 It isn't campaign or personality. Trump won because he's in it for America, and Hillary is in it for herself. It was even her slogan fahchristssakes.

Posted by: regular joe at July 27, 2017 02:33 PM (kb0cx)

527 "The Devil Drinks Vodka"

Posted by: Hikaru at July 27, 2017 02:35 PM (WDCYi)

528 The most amazing thing of the election was the debate where Trump confronts Bill Clinton. Never thought I'd see a Presidential candidate do that and I can't imagine any of the 16 contenders doing it.

Posted by: notsothoreau at July 27, 2017 02:47 PM (JKNZq)

529 Life of Pie

Posted by: wth at July 27, 2017 03:09 PM (HgMAr)

530 Rejected Hillary book title:

I Just Shit My Pants: Huma, Clean Up This Fucking Mess!

Posted by: Fritz at July 27, 2017 03:13 PM (2Mnv1)

531 This bitch is ALLLLL about "Pay for play". That's all this new book is about.

"Give me money to cozy up to my candid self."

...because that's all she knows how to do; perform.

Posted by: Getcha Pull at July 27, 2017 03:14 PM (pBbc6)

532 Another rejected title: A Thousand Points of Stupid.

Posted by: Sooze at July 27, 2017 03:15 PM (egbr+)

533 did she put in the book jacket bio how she was born in Kenya?

Posted by: wth at July 27, 2017 03:15 PM (HgMAr)

534 You know what I WOULD pay to see; the inside of that hotel suite after she no doubt went berserk.

Posted by: Getcha Pull at July 27, 2017 03:16 PM (pBbc6)

535 Who will buy this book before it is in the Dollar Store sale bin?

Dear Hag,

You lost before your sharted due to corruption, pay for play, er, Bill. You stood for nothing. Then! The bobble-headed done fall out wonky eye did not help.

Why were you not 50 yrs behind bars, one asks?

The End.

Posted by: ChristyBlinky, Infidel Queen, is tired of dis at July 27, 2017 04:10 PM (J5mzk)

536 Crooked Hillary's political failures come so often her book should be re-titled What Happens.

Posted by: Bully at July 27, 2017 04:15 PM (6NjvM)

537 Forward of this best selling book:

Dear Americans and Non-Deplorables,

Keep in mind, always, I won. I won against Sanders. I won against Trump. I won the popular illegal vote. Never forget this. I did not really lose nor bash hotel room in the drunken fury of a wild boar on meth.

I was up in the polls. All the polls were correct. The media and Hollywood adored me (now not so much as I do smell, as Molesta said, of pee and cabbage and ethanol fumes).

Always remember you were cheated. Always burn with fury. I know I will wake every single day with the memory seared on the functioning part of my brain of the golden ring just beyond my grasp. I wake every single day knowing I will never be President. I take to the woods after my Bloody Mary breakfast and three martini lunch. I have cried all the tars, I mean, tears. I seek comfort in my Humidor. I will someday lie in state in the Capitol for you to mourn with a JFK style funeral.

My hair is growing back from the patches I pulled. While I may never look the same as 8 long years ago, somewhat perky with fillers and botox and able to walk without my leg brace and Depends... I still possess the same black soul and frequent spirit cooking to boost my depleted energy. Never fear, I lurk in the shadows.

I remain, forevermore, your hero, the First Woman President of Broken Ceilings. I am not gone, I am in the woods.

All my love and disgust at your not electing me, the smartest woman in the entire world,
Hil

Posted by: ChristyBlinky, Infidel Queen, is tired of dis at July 27, 2017 04:25 PM (J5mzk)

538 Another book title option: I Want To Tell You

Posted by: grandmalcaesar at July 27, 2017 04:41 PM (yrohn)

539 That's some funny shit right there.

Posted by: bour3 at July 27, 2017 04:52 PM (KXQr+)

540 She lost because we don't have a parliamentary system.

(20 years ago she said that if we had such a system in place we'd have a woman in charge.)

I'm surprised she hasn't rolled out that excuse again.

Posted by: CatchThirtyThr33 at July 27, 2017 05:03 PM (TgBaq)

541 167 Hillary wouldn't LET Bill help her campaign. Bill warned her that she was struggling in MI and WI. but no,she was focused on those nice white suburbanites in Denver and didnt give a shit about deplorables
Posted by: Boulder terlit hobo at July 27, 2017 01:40 PM (K7Pxq)

One of the problems is (on the Right and the Left) is the idea that once a blue state, a blue state forever. WI, MI and PA were going to go for HRC, because. Republicans and Democrats both think this way.

Posted by: CatchThirtyThr33 at July 27, 2017 05:11 PM (TgBaq)

542 Crooked Hillary, you lost and all of the participation trophies in the world won't change that.

Posted by: Buffalobob at July 27, 2017 05:14 PM (Yp+Qr)

543 I just realized. The Trump vs Clinton election is the story of the Tortoise and the Hare in real life.

Posted by: hadsil at July 27, 2017 05:31 PM (h6Hse)

544 This is every bit as sophisticated as the title of OJ's bestseller, "What If I Did It?"

Posted by: Victoria at July 27, 2017 08:59 PM (AZQYp)

545 "What Happened" by Hillary Rodham Clinton

It was a dark and stormy-3 a.m. phone call from Libya-kind of night. Or would be, if I took 3 a.m. phone calls from Libya. The tension in the room was as thick as the bulge in Sandy Berger's underwear at the National Archives. The temperature inside the Russian Embassy reception was a blistering 70 degrees and I was beginning to feel faint, when suddenly, our eyes met from across the crowded room. Or would have, if I hadn't been wearing my coke-bottle Frensel Prism lenses to stop the double vision.

It was him; the Macedonian cyber-criminal mastermind Gucifer. The man who had cunningly tricked Podesta into setting his password as "password". The hairs on the back of my neck stood up. Or would have, if I weren't heavily sedated by the Diazepam/vodka cocktail I'd just swallowed in the bathroom.

I knew why the Macedonian was there; he had been sent by Putin, Cambridge Analytica, Netflix, Croatian content farms and rural voters--but mostly by Putin.

I knew what Gucifer wanted by the look in his eye and the list of demands. But I could have told him it was Mission: Impossible. And would have, if the Paxil, gin and L-dopa smoothie I guzzled in the van weren't making me slur my words.

Putin sent Gucifer to get his money back. Bill only gave a 12-minute speech in Moscow for the half-million, but Putin wanted the full hour of Bill's wise counsel and sage advice.

Here's some advice, Vladimir. We're the Clintons; We Never Give the Money Back.

Anyway, Gucifer is in prison now. Ya' know, it's funny; every time Bill or I get in trouble, it's always somebody else who ends up in jail or face-down, bleeding out on a D.C. sidewalk at 4 in the morning. I guess we're just lucky that way.

And to all those who think I should step aside, I've got news for them; I'm going to persist in leading the Resistance. After all, America still has 80% of it's uranium supplies up for sale!

Or would be, if I were your president.




Posted by: The Gipper Lives at July 27, 2017 11:28 PM (Ndje9)

546 If dislike her so,much I voted for someone I dislike even more, just to rub it in.


Via Norm McDonald, who saw into my soul.

Posted by: SarahW at July 27, 2017 11:39 PM (Sp1NT)

547 Was anyone clamoring for a book from Michael Dukakis explaining why he lost to Bush the Elder?

How about from Bob Dole on why he lost to Bubba Clinton?

Al Gore, on why he lost to Bush the Younger?

John Kerry, on the same topic?

Of course not. Real people don't care about such details. They just know you lost, and are no longer of any interest to them. And Hillary is no exception.

It would've been amusing, though, if John McCain or Mitt Romney had received such a book offer. Dr. Seuss famously wrote Green Eggs and Ham on a bet that he couldn't write a book with just fifty words, while McCain or Romney could've destroyed that record by writing a book with just four words: "I took a dive".

Posted by: Prothonotary Warbler at July 28, 2017 12:45 AM (3YxFh)

548 This is not a book to be tossed aside lightly. It should be thrown with great force.

Posted by: Not Dorothy Parker at July 28, 2017 01:17 AM (nYebQ)

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