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Moaning and Complaining Thread

I forgot how much I liked complaining about minor things that are barely worth mentioning, let alone having an emotional reaction to.

I know the last post is about this, but it's kind of specific to WhiteWalkers, so how about a thread about anything -- the more minor the better -- that annoys you?

Oh, as I need some content (I guess) here's an article about the sin of Mansplaining.

One thing I say nowadays is "Don't explain it to me -- mansplain it to me."

[Update] (OregonMuse):

GorillaPundit has a complaint:

talking ape.jpg
"Want to know what chaps my hairy ass? Fine, I'll tell you: I hate those stupid dorm room philosophers who prattle on and on about how knowledge is impossible, existence is impossible and in fact, they're not even sure they exist themselves. Yes, some of those boneheads actually say that. They read some French guy and they think they're all deep and sh*. Morons. Anyway, you can easily show everybody how full of sh* they are by just telling them 'Dude, your zipper's down'. If they really think they can't know anything, why do they always look?"


Posted by: Ace at 06:12 PM




Comments

(Jump to bottom of comments)

1 First?!

I hate when posters claim first.

Posted by: Tami, Public Ineffectual at July 21, 2017 06:13 PM (Enq6K)

2 Being first?

Posted by: RoyalOil at July 21, 2017 06:13 PM (W1XyZ)

3 Rd

Posted by: Mike G. at July 21, 2017 06:13 PM (R5lpX)

4 I hate getting shot.

Posted by: Dr Spank at July 21, 2017 06:14 PM (4e+hS)

5 Top 5 then?

Posted by: Skip at July 21, 2017 06:15 PM (9g/6M)

6 I'm really tired of the humidity here, what is this? Florida?

Posted by: Tinfoilbaby at July 21, 2017 06:15 PM (6Ll1u)

7 >>>1 First?!

I hate when posters claim first.

...

it used to bother me. Now I just don't even read the first ten comments.

I don't get it, but some of you don't get Busty Lesbian Porn either.

Posted by: ace at July 21, 2017 06:15 PM (8rNrN)

8 What's irritating to me is those idiots driving 79 in the fast lane and won't get the hell out of my way when I'm doing 85. I don't let any moss grow under my wheels.

Posted by: Mike G. at July 21, 2017 06:15 PM (R5lpX)

9 Drivers who do not pull up to the stop line and thus fail to activate the sensor which results in the stoplight never changing.

Posted by: Chuck C at July 21, 2017 06:16 PM (Ww8aT)

10 Drivers two thumbing their devices. As soon as I see a erratic driver I almost have to see if they have a device that they are using right then and there.

Posted by: Skip at July 21, 2017 06:17 PM (9g/6M)

11 Damn hangnail.

Posted by: Tushar at July 21, 2017 06:17 PM (lO7DP)

12 People saying "hot water heater"

Posted by: weirdflunky at July 21, 2017 06:17 PM (JQ/mK)

13 What about busty lesbian porn?

Posted by: Mike G. at July 21, 2017 06:17 PM (R5lpX)

14 People in general

Posted by: RobG at July 21, 2017 06:17 PM (VIvNl)

15 Barack makes me sleep in the wet spot

Posted by: Reggie at July 21, 2017 06:17 PM (8ikIW)

16 I don't know if it's a minor thing, but I hate it when people don't wipe down gym equipment after they finish sweating all over it.

Posted by: no good deed at July 21, 2017 06:17 PM (hsb2w)

17 How about if you only download busty lesbian porn to prove that it exists?

Posted by: boulder terlit hobo at July 21, 2017 06:17 PM (6FqZa)

18
I get annoyed at other people on the road. Don't they know I own it exclusively, and it's all about my destinations and priorities, needs and wants, and theirs don't matter at all.

Posted by: publius, the Persistent Poperin Pear at July 21, 2017 06:17 PM (8O3HH)

19 People that spit out their chewing gum....for me to step on.

Posted by: BignJames at July 21, 2017 06:17 PM (x9c8r)

20 Here's a thing I hate that happens. Sometimes it happens to me, sometimes I see it happen to other people.

So like you're telling some story. It doesn't grab anyone. Most people stop making eye contact with you and start looking at other people, hoping someone will say something more interesting.

But you're kind of now committed to this story. You don't want to finish it, but you'd feel pretty stupid if you just trailed off and stopped speaking mid-sentence.

So you kind of just mumble out a few random bits from the end and say something (which no one is listening to) in summary like "So anyway it was a real situation," to pretend as if you'd finished and it had all gone well.

Sometimes I see this happen to other people and I do try to look into their eyes and pretend I've been listening. Just because I know, it kind of sucks.

Posted by: ace at July 21, 2017 06:18 PM (8rNrN)

21 I have another city one. Women spit all the time in the city. It's mostly a minority thing, but rules have exceptions. This is a particularly prevalent in Chinatown... I'm not squeamish, but it's disgusting. You are already dodging piles of dog shit on any Manhattan street...add to that the odd hock.

Yes...yes...someone is going to make a sophomoric reference to spitting and swallowing. Which, honestly, I look forward to...

Posted by: Orson at July 21, 2017 06:19 PM (ziyUi)

22 Drivers in front of me who drive slowly until right before they get to the stoplight and then they stomp the accelerator to drive through the yellow light.

Posted by: Furious George at July 21, 2017 06:19 PM (j+dfT)

23 People that spit out their chewing gum...

Ugh, or fling a big fat wad of chewing tobacco down in front of a door.

Posted by: no good deed at July 21, 2017 06:19 PM (hsb2w)

24 Rain seems to come at the worst time. I mean, why can't it rain the day BEFORE I gotta dig a shallow grave? Always, always, it's either as I'm getting started, or like the next day.

Posted by: Your Decidedly Devious Uncle Palpatine. All Honor & Glory to Kekistan! at July 21, 2017 06:19 PM (fA1SL)

25 FIRST!!!

Okay, I believe commenter #1 should yield to my whiteness and maleness.

Posted by: Cicero (@cicero) at July 21, 2017 06:20 PM (Mouru)

26 >>>Drivers who do not pull up to the stop line and thus fail to activate the sensor which results in the stoplight never changing.

hah. I hate these people. There's not really much you can do, either. Ultimately you have to illegally pass them and then illegally run the red light.

You can't get out of the car to explain it to them because this tends to happen at night and nothing good can come from getting out of your car to approach a stranger's car at midnight.

Posted by: ace at July 21, 2017 06:20 PM (8rNrN)

27 Lindsey Graham says if you don't believe in "Dreamers", don't vote for him. That works for me.

Posted by: Mike G. at July 21, 2017 06:20 PM (R5lpX)

28 Yay! Pet peeve thread.

Posted by: Barack Obama at July 21, 2017 06:20 PM (xAvrH)

29 >>>So like you're telling some story. It doesn't grab anyone. Most people stop making eye contact with you and start looking at other people, hoping someone will say something more interesting

Confucius say, easy way to make long story short is stop listening

Posted by: Banana Splits Guy at July 21, 2017 06:21 PM (bp4C8)

30 I hate people who steal trash can lids...

Posted by: William Eaton at July 21, 2017 06:21 PM (MuTTO)

31 I hate it when the babe gets pissed at me for the tone of voice I used to give her advice. Especially when it's good advice, which it always is.

Posted by: phone of kari - certified sidebar at July 21, 2017 06:21 PM (rOiBy)

32 I hate people who don't pick up their dog shit. Where do they think it magically goes?

Posted by: NCKate at July 21, 2017 06:21 PM (2R5JV)

33 People who constantly clear their throats

Posted by: Tuna at July 21, 2017 06:21 PM (g7Suk)

34 Whenever my Lesbian friends ask me for help with anything I warn them,' Brace yourselves for some Mansplainin'!'.

Posted by: garrett at July 21, 2017 06:21 PM (beJsD)

35 People who have not mastered the complexities of the fast food drive-through. No special orders, dammit. Keep it to a "Number 1 with diet Coke" and get on with it.

Posted by: RS at July 21, 2017 06:21 PM (CNQqJ)

36 Drivers on a one-lane street who slow down to a near dead stop to negotiate a right-hand turn without first moving into the curb lane.

They should all DIAF.

Posted by: Cicero (@cicero) at July 21, 2017 06:21 PM (Mouru)

37 People who drive with their faces buried in their goddamn iPhones.

Posted by: Insomniac, Professional Nobody at July 21, 2017 06:22 PM (0mRoj)

38 I hate buying ONE thing at the store and getting a 4-ft receipt.

Posted by: Bear Grylls at July 21, 2017 06:22 PM (t+r9v)

39 Gonorrhae. I hate that stuff. The peoole who keep giving it to me are such drips.

Posted by: Alcoholic Asshole Shut In at July 21, 2017 06:22 PM (fMBcz)

40 drivers who don't use directionals, or only put on the directional as they're braking into the turn.

Nicely done. I mean, your blinker is just an ornament. It's not like it's there to give another driver a head's up to expect you'll be braking.

Posted by: ace at July 21, 2017 06:22 PM (8rNrN)

41 I hate hate Middle Eastern body odor. There should be laws.

Posted by: Under Fire at July 21, 2017 06:22 PM (mcI77)

42 People who drive 15 miles an hour below the speed limit in the passing lane.

Posted by: Insomniac, Professional Nobody at July 21, 2017 06:22 PM (0mRoj)

43 Pooping.
I hate pooping. I hate everything about it. The smell, the texture, the sounds and especially the cleanup.

I mean, toilet paper so rough that using it causes anal fissures and you have to go home and use the adjustable shower head to feel completely clean and the hot water actually stings and you look down and see blood in the water...

Ok, um, I'll stop there.

But I hate pooping.

Posted by: Mark Andrew Edwards at July 21, 2017 06:22 PM (3OIiX)

44 First?!

I hate when posters claim first.


Posted by: Tami, Public Ineffectual at July 21, 2017 06:13 PM (Enq6K)

Harmless fun.

Posted by: Country Boy at July 21, 2017 06:22 PM (Jcg9Q)

45 When you can't quite get around a slow walker but there's enough of a gap that it's like "so close!"

Posted by: Max Power at July 21, 2017 06:22 PM (q177U)

46 I hate it when people pull into the merge lane to pass the traffic that is stalled because everyone is trying to merge.

Posted by: no good deed at July 21, 2017 06:22 PM (hsb2w)

47 I hate people who steal trash can lids...

Posted by: William Eaton at July 21, 2017 06:21 PM (MuTTO)



You rich guys with your trash can lids.

Posted by: Cicero (@cicero) at July 21, 2017 06:23 PM (Mouru)

48 Lindsey Graham and John McCain are 2 pet peeves of mine, soon to be 1 pet peeve.

Posted by: Dr Spank at July 21, 2017 06:23 PM (4e+hS)

49 I tire of the shopworn practice of embedding a rap from a featured artist two-thirds of the way through an otherwise catchy pop song.

Posted by: Syme at July 21, 2017 06:23 PM (Q/7nh)

50 Drivers that pull in front of you in traffic....then have to make a left turn into oncoming traffic.

Posted by: BignJames at July 21, 2017 06:23 PM (x9c8r)

51 Fire alarms. Now, I know we need fire alarms, but do they have to be so fucking loud my ears bleed? I mean, seriously, every time we have a false alarm or a drill at work I feel like that's a year earlier for hearing aids when I'm old.

Posted by: Ace's liver at July 21, 2017 06:23 PM (Xuv2G)

52 Just read the previous post
LOL
Awesome

Posted by: @votermom's phone at July 21, 2017 06:23 PM (81zOS)

53 My roommate is great but, he doesn't' shower every day. He works 3-4 nights devlivering Italian food and has to clean up in the kitchen. Hair absorbs smells and he stinks when he comes home.

Luckily he usually goes up to his room because its usually after midnight and I only see him for a few minutes. I slept on second floor & he's on third.
I've tried for three years to explain the difference between work clothes, home clothes and going out clothes. I wear only garden clothes out in the garden and put then directly in the washer as soon as I come in the house. I would never go out seen in public in them. I think I am in the minority in this regard because i see people looking worse in public places that what I would wear in my garden.
I'm little and I can't stand when really fat people expose all the layers of fat. My mother was very heavy most of her life and would only wear clothes that hid how heavy she was.
Now they wear clothes so tight it kills my fragile appetite.

Posted by: Carol at July 21, 2017 06:23 PM (NKOy9)

54 Cyclefags who ride three or four abreast in the street.

Posted by: Insomniac, Professional Nobody at July 21, 2017 06:23 PM (0mRoj)

55 >>I don't get it, but some of you don't get Busty Lesbian Porn either.


I hate that Ace doesn't link Busty Lesbian Porn for us, anymore.

Posted by: garrett at July 21, 2017 06:23 PM (beJsD)

56 You know how you always seem to get stopped by some random stranger who's bleeding from a head wound, and they want you to give them directions?

I've gotten to the point I just ignore them.

Posted by: Furious George at July 21, 2017 06:23 PM (j+dfT)

57 Feet

Posted by: Chrissy Cizilla at July 21, 2017 06:23 PM (mtGE/)

58 people who see a red light and rather than just tkae their foot off the accelerator and coast to slow stop, insist on staying on the acceleartor almost to the light and then braking hard.

I see this with cabbies. I call these cabbies Chicken Dodgers. They drive like they're running an obstacle course of chickens running through a dirt road.

Posted by: ace at July 21, 2017 06:23 PM (8rNrN)

59 1 First?!

I hate when posters claim first.

...

it used to bother me. Now I just don't even read the first ten comments.

I don't get it, but some of you don't get Busty Lesbian Porn either.



Posted by: ace at July 21, 2017 06:15 PM (8rNrN)

When one's accomplishments in life are few and far between, you take what you can get.

You should be happy to know that peeps like your blog so much they keep hitting F5 like they're fapping to Christina Hendricks waiting for new content. I would.

Posted by: Country Boy at July 21, 2017 06:24 PM (Jcg9Q)

60 I hate people who walk in the road. Just don't. There are sidewalks and crosswalks. Take your slow ass to either of those.

Posted by: NCKate at July 21, 2017 06:24 PM (2R5JV)

61 Reddit, and all of you, and the Freepers

Posted by: CNN at July 21, 2017 06:24 PM (mtGE/)

62 I get apoplectic when my dog drops the tennis ball halfway back after I've thrown it for him. That's not fetch you goddamn mutt.

Posted by: phone of kari - certified sidebar at July 21, 2017 06:24 PM (rOiBy)

63 Dallas Texas- summer lasts forever -
winter lasts about 5-6 weeks
Summer 2011 killed my truck battery (70+days over 100degr.
but 2011 was one of the hottest summers ever
along with 1980, 1998, 1999, 2000 etc.


Posted by: Glenn John at July 21, 2017 06:24 PM (LilNs)

64 When you keep telling people it's going to be an early night and it isn't.

Posted by: Will Bynn at July 21, 2017 06:24 PM (4A5fG)

65 Drivers on cell phones who merge into my lane when I'm on the scooter. Then act all surprised when I ride next to them.

Posted by: CrotchetyOldJarhead at July 21, 2017 06:24 PM (pDZCs)

66 First is silly too. What is the great reward for claiming first? None.

Posted by: Carol at July 21, 2017 06:24 PM (NKOy9)

67 Tinfoil, yeah, right? I mean the climate is about 93% of the reason to live in SoCal (and rising). So if we're just going to have stupid humidity like the east/south/midwest, what's the point?

Of course there's also the ocean. I note the fishies with teeth are getting very sporting. One kayak and one stand-up paddle board in Santa Barbara munched by sharks (neither person munched).

Posted by: rhomboid at July 21, 2017 06:24 PM (iynDC)

68 I hate that Ace doesn't link Busty Lesbian Porn for us, anymore.
Posted by: garrett at July 21, 2017 06:23 PM (beJsD)




This is America where you're supposed to be self-reliant. Find your own Busty Lesbian Porn.

Posted by: Cicero (@cicero) at July 21, 2017 06:24 PM (Mouru)

69 "hate buying ONE thing at the store and getting a 4-ft receipt."

CVS and Sears. That's why Sears is going broke. They're wasting their money on mile long sales receipts

Posted by: Tuna at July 21, 2017 06:25 PM (g7Suk)

70 Paul McCartney

Posted by: Yoko at July 21, 2017 06:25 PM (mtGE/)

71 Drivers who do not pull up to the stop line and thus fail to activate the sensor which results in the stoplight never changing.

Posted by: Chuck C at July 21, 2017 06:16 PM (Ww8aT)


This. Another variant on this theme is the idiot waiting to turn left who doesn't even pull into the intersection...just sits there behind the line and then makes his turn when the light changes to yellow (or red), leaving everyone else behind him stranded.

Posted by: HTL at July 21, 2017 06:25 PM (KmJDX)

72 I have to admit I get a bit fidgety when people start getting all pompous and uppity about their preferred brand of vodka. I am a Pinnacle man myself but I don`t demean anyone else`s choice...you asked Ace, thank you for allowing me to respond.

Posted by: Tentotwo at July 21, 2017 06:25 PM (yhf6w)

73 Other people's pet peeves annoy me. They are always so petty and dumb. They should find things of great importance to complain about.

Posted by: Lily (formerly fom HotAir now from AoSHQ) at July 21, 2017 06:25 PM (vfC/C)

74 12 People saying "hot water heater"

Posted by: weirdflunky at July 21, 2017 06:17 PM (JQ/mK)

++++

Hey, wait a minute.

Posted by: Anon Y. Mous at July 21, 2017 06:25 PM (pvjTE)

75 I've actually pulled up beside them, got their attention and told them if they don't pull up a little, they will be sitting there for ever.

Posted by: Mike G. at July 21, 2017 06:25 PM (R5lpX)

76 I like to post first, but in my own defense I usually try to say something relevant.

Posted by: Cicero (@cicero) at July 21, 2017 06:25 PM (Mouru)

77 Obese women who wear yoga pants or other revealing or form-fitting attire.

Posted by: Insomniac, Professional Nobody at July 21, 2017 06:26 PM (0mRoj)

78 PEOPLE WHO THINK I'M A CRAZED FUCKING LUNATIC WHO'S REALLY FUCKING STUPID!!!

Posted by: The Hysterical Sally Kohn at July 21, 2017 06:26 PM (qJhUV)

79 I hate it when a line of cars is moving much slower than the regular traffic and won't move out of the way when you honk, but they're driving too close to each other and you try to weave in and out to get around them and they all give you dirty looks and have their headlights on which makes it harder to see from the glare and then you get to the front of the line and see the hearse.

Posted by: Muldoon at July 21, 2017 06:26 PM (wPiJc)

80 Yeah, I was stuck behind those a-holes all the way to the Forest Lawn exit.

Posted by: Muldoon at July 21, 2017 06:26 PM (wPiJc)

81 Other people's pet peeves annoy me. They are always so petty and dumb. They should find things of great importance to complain about.

Posted by: Lily (formerly fom HotAir now from AoSHQ) at July 21, 2017 06:25 PM (vfC/C)



This is the kind of comment that really annoys me.

Posted by: Cicero (@cicero) at July 21, 2017 06:26 PM (Mouru)

82 Men in wife beater t-shirts.

And speedos. No, I don't want to look at your junk.

Posted by: JackStraw at July 21, 2017 06:27 PM (/tuJf)

83 Getting raped by gorillas. They have these really small penises, but they are covered with this rough skin. Plus the damn males weigh a half ton and stink. I hate that.

Posted by: Alcoholic Asshole Shut In at July 21, 2017 06:27 PM (fMBcz)

84 Watermelon seeds.

Posted by: Mark Andrew Edwards at July 21, 2017 06:27 PM (3OIiX)

85 My cousin has three kids who rarely go outside unless they are expressly told to do so. They don't run around and yell and act like kids. They play games on their smartphones. I hate that.

Posted by: huerfano at July 21, 2017 06:27 PM (TO4Og)

86 12 People saying "hot water heater"

Posted by: weirdflunky at July 21, 2017 06:17 PM (JQ/mK)


Hahaha. A device like that shouldn't use much energy at all.

Posted by: Ace's liver at July 21, 2017 06:27 PM (Xuv2G)

87 I hate those cans.

Posted by: The Sniper at July 21, 2017 06:27 PM (Mouru)

88 People who take up the WHOLE FUCKING AISLE w/their grocery carts.

Posted by: BignJames at July 21, 2017 06:27 PM (x9c8r)

89 Puns
...and myself for laughing at them.

Posted by: Mark Andrew Edwards at July 21, 2017 06:27 PM (3OIiX)

90 White Women who buy up all the chicken biscuits and chicken minis at 10:30 when Chic Filet breakfast ends. There is a line of poor souls waiting for their breakfast fix, and some selfish and entitled Soccer Mom decides to horde them all.

Fuck I can't stand those people and it's never men. It's always a white woman.

Posted by: Widespread Pepe at July 21, 2017 06:28 PM (2qHjF)

91 I hate that I always seem to set that damn alarm clock.

Posted by: wth at July 21, 2017 06:28 PM (HgMAr)

92 Wtf just happened?

Posted by: Your Decidedly Devious Uncle Palpatine. All Honor & Glory to Kekistan! at July 21, 2017 06:28 PM (fA1SL)

93 The phrase is "You COULDN'T care less", morons!

Posted by: goodluckduck at July 21, 2017 06:28 PM (yqvys)

94 20 Here's a thing I hate that happens. Sometimes it happens to me, sometimes I see it happen to other people.

So like you're telling some story. It doesn't grab anyone. Most people stop making eye contact with you and start looking at other people, hoping someone will say something more interesting.

But you're kind of now committed to this story. You don't want to finish it, but you'd feel pretty stupid if you just trailed off and stopped speaking mid-sentence.

So you kind of just mumble out a few random bits from the end and say something (which no one is listening to) in summary like "So anyway it was a real situation," to pretend as if you'd finished and it had all gone well.

Sometimes I see this happen to other people and I do try to look into their eyes and pretend I've been listening. Just because I know, it kind of sucks.

Posted by: ace at July 21, 2017 06:18 PM (8rNrN)



I started looking away at the second paragraph...

Posted by: buzzion at July 21, 2017 06:28 PM (z/Ubi)

95 I just get so mad when I get denied cigs by the well cigarette-supplied who won't let me bum smokes off them.

Selfish and Mean

Posted by: L, Elle at July 21, 2017 06:28 PM (8mOxN)

96 I hate when a checkout person doesn't look me in the eye during the entire process of ringing me up.

Posted by: no good deed at July 21, 2017 06:28 PM (hsb2w)

97 I get annoyed when I have to shave my balls.

Posted by: Sally Kohn's Taint at July 21, 2017 06:28 PM (FSWIP)

98 People who don't love Gorillapundit.

Posted by: Mark Andrew Edwards at July 21, 2017 06:28 PM (3OIiX)

99 Uptalkers and people who say "like" every other word.

Posted by: Insomniac, Professional Nobody at July 21, 2017 06:28 PM (0mRoj)

100 OregonMuse fucked it all up.

She's gonna be so embarassed.

Posted by: garrett at July 21, 2017 06:28 PM (beJsD)

101 facebook

women fishing for likes on facebook with the ol' high angle pic or fishmouth pose and even worse all the other high angle pic women egging them on. such a fucking beatdown. it's about a third of the content closely followed by vacation pics like people don't even remember that forcing your friends to sit through your slideshow was a long running joke/complaint.

Posted by: The Original REAL Galactic Lord Sir Covfefe at July 21, 2017 06:29 PM (nFwvY)

102 Six vacant urinals and the guy comes in and uses the one right next to me.

Hate it.

Posted by: Cicero (@cicero) at July 21, 2017 06:29 PM (Mouru)

103 Pedestrians who are crossing parking lot aisles when they know you are waiting in your car. They can't cross in a straight line perpendicular to the flow of traffic. No. They walk diagonally across the aisle in order to consume as much of your time as possible.

Posted by: fly gal at July 21, 2017 06:29 PM (8TdcF)

104 Listening to people telling stories, haveing a relevant, funny story of my own but forgetting what it is before I can get a word in edge wise.

Posted by: Javems at July 21, 2017 06:29 PM (yOqwj)

105 99. 'So.....'

Posted by: Your Decidedly Devious Uncle Palpatine. All Honor & Glory to Kekistan! at July 21, 2017 06:29 PM (fA1SL)

106 *Puts Mark Andrew Edwards' resume to the side*

Posted by: the EPA at July 21, 2017 06:29 PM (6FqZa)

107 79 I hate it when a line of cars is moving much slower than the regular traffic and won't move out of the way when you honk, but they're driving too close to each other and you try to weave in and out to get around them and they all give you dirty looks and have their headlights on which makes it harder to see from the glare and then you get to the front of the line and see the hearse.

Posted by: Muldoon
________

Now that there is some humor, folks.

Posted by: Furious George at July 21, 2017 06:29 PM (j+dfT)

108 I don't like when I get something at a Boston Market or something and they give me this coupon at the end of the receipt and then they circle it with a yellow highlighter and say "That coupon is good all day Saturday" and I think "Oh perfect, I'll re-arrange my Saturday plans so I can get $1 off a side of mac and cheese."

I also hate that I don't really have any saturday plans in particular to change.

Posted by: ace at July 21, 2017 06:29 PM (8rNrN)

109 I get annoyed with walkers that don't pass to the right. It should be no different than driving. Instead, I have to decide if I give in and pass to the left or run into them. If I want to make the point without controversy I'll just stop. Then they have to pass to the right or there's a standoff. This may seem a bit trivial but, dammit, the rules of the road should apply.

Posted by: PurityOfEssence at July 21, 2017 06:29 PM (8ByYz)

110 I hate being verbally interrupted. Interrupt me once and, okay, a second time--I will withhold judgement but a third and I've had it.
My tendency is to just shut down at that point.

Posted by: Northernlurker, Phillips screwdriver of the gods at July 21, 2017 06:29 PM (hJrjt)

111 People who take forever at ATM's.

They pull up, THEN they get around to looking for their card in their purse, then have to read every fucking sentence on every page before clicking something, then when they're done they have to put everything away in it's proper place before they drive off.

I typically knock it off in around 45 seconds.

Plus deposits at ATM's should not be allowed.

Posted by: Country Boy at July 21, 2017 06:30 PM (Jcg9Q)

112 I hate when a checkout person doesn't look me in the eye during the entire process of ringing me up.
Posted by: no good deed at July 21, 2017 06:28 PM (hsb2w)



"Ringing me up." Is that what the kids are calling it these days?

Posted by: Cicero (@cicero) at July 21, 2017 06:30 PM (Mouru)

113 Gypsies and Belgians.

Posted by: Your Decidedly Devious Uncle Palpatine. All Honor & Glory to Kekistan! at July 21, 2017 06:30 PM (fA1SL)

114 My own worthless existence.

Posted by: Insomniac, Professional Nobody at July 21, 2017 06:30 PM (0mRoj)

115 Had to tell a bunch of construction guys today to put their GD hard hats on! A foreman took exception and tossed 2 pieces of drywall from 2nd floor onto my head. I was wearing a hard hat. Looked up and that SOB was smirking at me...."Eff you, Ms. Quality Inspector!"

I reported it up through the chain. It was Friday, after a long week and I had alredy had all I could take. I retaliated and he may get his a$$ chewed.

At the end of it all, did not make me feel good; in fact, I feel like crap

Posted by: Russkilitlover at July 21, 2017 06:30 PM (EgnZl)

116 What's this post about?

Manboots? What?

Posted by: L, Elle at July 21, 2017 06:30 PM (8mOxN)

117 99 Uptalkers and people who say "like" every other word.
Posted by: Insomniac, Professional Nobody at July 21, 2017 06:28 PM (0mRoj)


This. Can we please make it legal to slap uptalkers?

Posted by: Ace's liver at July 21, 2017 06:30 PM (Xuv2G)

118 I hate it when I open the frig and there's everything except beer.

Posted by: wth at July 21, 2017 06:30 PM (HgMAr)

119 >>So like you're telling some story. It doesn't grab anyone. Most people stop making eye contact with you and start looking at other people, hoping someone will say something more interesting.

Brietbart didn't read the posts either.

Posted by: JackStraw at July 21, 2017 06:30 PM (/tuJf)

120 Having to use a public shitter and finding the only open one filled with....stuff

Posted by: CrotchetyOldJarhead at July 21, 2017 06:30 PM (pDZCs)

121 Prescription medication commercials

Posted by: Batterup at July 21, 2017 06:31 PM (mtGE/)

122 My pet peeve is when I am at the rifle range and working on zeroing this or that rifle and some old bastard wants to tell me all about his new purchase or that he had this or that rifle back in blah blah blah but had to sell it or what he is "building" at home like I give a crap.

When you have to shoot, shoot. Don't talk.

Posted by: Hairyback Guy at July 21, 2017 06:31 PM (5VlCp)

123 *Puts Mark Andrew Edwards' resume to the side*
Posted by: the EPA at July 21, 2017 06:29 PM (6FqZa)

Is that a good thing or a bad thing?

Or will I find out...eventually?

Posted by: Mark Andrew Edwards at July 21, 2017 06:31 PM (3OIiX)

124 People who hold a door open while you're still a good 10 paces or more to the door. Then you have to speed up or else you look like a dick for making the person holding the door wait for you.

Posted by: The Black Knight at July 21, 2017 06:31 PM (ANIFC)

125 The social contract say's that we should use our turn signals. Civil society first started to collapse when that covenant was broken.

Another thing that really bothers me a lot is running out of bourbon. Someone should do something about that.

Posted by: goon at July 21, 2017 06:31 PM (EaQ6/)

126 "People who don't love Gorillapundit."

It's GorillaPundit. Show some respect for your better.

Posted by: Tuna at July 21, 2017 06:31 PM (g7Suk)

127 lazy people who do not take the grocery cart to the collection corral and leave it in the middle of a parking slot, or worse yet, leave it in the drive lane after loading groceries in their trunk.

If I ever run for President one of my campaign promises will be to make the above actions Capital Offenses!

Posted by: Gref at July 21, 2017 06:31 PM (jjHdf)

128 I hate people who stop walking right in the middle of a damn doorway or some other choke point, instead of having the common courtesy to get the hell out of everyone else's way and THEN stop to do whatever it is they are doing.

Posted by: JT at July 21, 2017 06:31 PM (i2Dd+)

129 Feminine hygiene product commercials.

Posted by: Insomniac, Professional Nobody at July 21, 2017 06:31 PM (0mRoj)

130 I hate it when I have a big dried booger lodged up high and in back of my nose, and I can just touch it with a finger, but can't snag it out. Drives me crazy.

Posted by: Alcoholic Asshole Shut In at July 21, 2017 06:31 PM (fMBcz)

131 When writers use the word "snuck" in what is an otherwise fairly well-written book. It pisses me off, although, supposably it's a word now.

Posted by: huerfano at July 21, 2017 06:31 PM (TO4Og)

132 People who don't take their shopping carts to the buggy corral.

Posted by: RokShox at July 21, 2017 06:32 PM (yehh7)

133 Sometimes I see this happen to other people and I do try to look into their eyes and pretend I've been listening. Just because I know, it kind of sucks.

Posted by: ace at July 21, 2017 06:18 PM (8rNrN)

...

Not that I ever lose the attention of a group of people when telling a story, but when I do, I just change the story to be wildly inappropriate to test if anyone is still listening.

Posted by: TexasDan at July 21, 2017 06:32 PM (yL25O)

134 Someone stealing my stolen stuff.

Posted by: Winston at July 21, 2017 06:32 PM (mgpkf)

135 It's GorillaPundit. Show some respect for your better.

Does this mean we have to move to the side and doff our caps ?

Posted by: boulder terlit hobo at July 21, 2017 06:32 PM (6FqZa)

136 Sharks have been a problem this year, going out on the half day boat tomorrow morning with the neighbors.

Posted by: Tinfoilbaby at July 21, 2017 06:32 PM (6Ll1u)

137 125 The social contract say's that we should use our turn signals. Civil society first started to collapse when that covenant was broken.

Another thing that really bothers me a lot is running out of bourbon. Someone should do something about that.
Posted by: goon at July 21, 2017 06:31 PM (EaQ6

Go see Vic. He'll hook you up.

Posted by: Insomniac, Professional Nobody at July 21, 2017 06:32 PM (0mRoj)

138 I remember sitting in church with my granddaughters. A woman came up and asked them if they were in church with grandma. That bugged me.
Then one of them said "we're here with Oba."
That made me happy.

Posted by: Northernlurker, Phillips screwdriver of the gods at July 21, 2017 06:32 PM (hJrjt)

139 My minor complaint is that GorillaPundit doesn't have his own blog. Happy?

Posted by: CPT11A at July 21, 2017 06:32 PM (hxUdS)

140 Men that drink soy milk and almond milk. WTF?!?! Soy milk is bad, but almond milk is literally nothing. 1 gram of protein and 25 calories a serving.

Are they even trying to be men at this point?

Posted by: Widespread Pepe at July 21, 2017 06:32 PM (2qHjF)

141 When people call me Ma'am

Posted by: Barbara Boxer at July 21, 2017 06:32 PM (z/Ubi)

142
"... people who walk in the road. Just don't. There are sidewalks and crosswalks."


And groups of people who walk in waves, side-by-side, blocking the way ... happens a lot in malls.

Posted by: Arbalest at July 21, 2017 06:32 PM (FlRtG)

143 I don't even understand why one goes to an ATM anymore.

Posted by: dagny at July 21, 2017 06:32 PM (wZuWv)

144 People who hold a door open while you're still a good 10 paces or more to the door. Then you have to speed up or else you look like a dick for making the person holding the door wait for you.


That's actually a micro-aggression.

Posted by: Cicero (@cicero) at July 21, 2017 06:32 PM (Mouru)

145 The first comment was always a place to be awesome. It was like a guest speaker position. The internet ruins everything.

Posted by: Mega at July 21, 2017 06:32 PM (rv0Fo)

146 I get annoyed when I have to shave my balls.
........

I hate that I can never seem to finish before I'm done.

Posted by: wth at July 21, 2017 06:32 PM (HgMAr)

147 My own worthless existence.
Posted by: Insomniac, Professional Nobody at July 21, 2017 06:30 PM (0mRoj)

You're not worthless. You entertain and amuse.

Sally Kohn has a worthless existence.

Posted by: Mark Andrew Edwards at July 21, 2017 06:32 PM (3OIiX)

148 People who stop at the top of an escalator.

Posted by: RokShox at July 21, 2017 06:32 PM (yehh7)

149 I hate cedar trees in Texas most of all.

Posted by: TexasDan at July 21, 2017 06:33 PM (yL25O)

150 130 I hate it when I have a big dried booger lodged up high and in back of my nose, and I can just touch it with a finger, but can't snag it out. Drives me crazy.
Posted by: Alcoholic Asshole Shut In at July 21, 2017 06:31 PM (fMBcz)

Close the opposite nostril and blow sharply through your nose a few times.

Posted by: Insomniac, Professional Nobody at July 21, 2017 06:33 PM (0mRoj)

151 I don't even understand why one goes to an ATM anymore.
Posted by: dagny at July 21, 2017 06:32 PM (wZuWv)



Or pr0n shops.

Posted by: Cicero (@cicero) at July 21, 2017 06:33 PM (Mouru)

152 125 The social contract say's that we should use our turn signals. Civil society first started to collapse when that covenant was broken.

Another thing that really bothers me a lot is running out of bourbon. Someone should do something about that.
Posted by: goon at July 21, 2017 06:31 PM (EaQ6/)


That's the one reason I would consider matrimony.

Posted by: Ace's liver at July 21, 2017 06:33 PM (Xuv2G)

153 I hate the penny tray that says Take One Give One.

I don't deal with pennies. Who does that? Who's that for?

Posted by: L, Elle at July 21, 2017 06:33 PM (8mOxN)

154 I hate being verbally interrupted. Interrupt me once and, okay, a second time--I will withhold judgment but a third and I've ...
...
Posted by: Northernlurker, Phillips screwdriver of the gods at July 21, 2017 06:29 PM (hJrjt)

I know. right?

Posted by: Batterup at July 21, 2017 06:33 PM (mtGE/)

155 I'm annoyed by people e-communicating with me using apps rather than email or text. In the past 3 days I've had messages sent via Words With Friends, Linked In, and Facebook twice. I even had an attachment sent to me via Facebook messenger. I could not open it.Facebook Messenger is most annoying because I refuse to put the app on my phone.

Posted by: Cumberland Astro at July 21, 2017 06:33 PM (CRJOc)

156 I hate people who look at the menu board in a fast food restaurant.

Posted by: Jack Sock at July 21, 2017 06:33 PM (IDPbH)

157 19 People that spit out their chewing gum....for me to step on.
Posted by: BignJames at July 21, 2017 06:17 PM (x9c8r)



People who spit out seeds on the astroturf field we practice on.

Hey, do you spit out seeds on your living room carpet? Then don't do it here.

Posted by: Deplorable Jay Guevara at July 21, 2017 06:34 PM (SRKgf)

158 If you're going to wear the skinny jeans, people, you have to actually be, you know, *skinny*. Come on, people, have some pride. I'll be so glad when those dang things go out of style.

Posted by: sinalco at July 21, 2017 06:34 PM (yODqO)

159 >>So like you're telling some story. It doesn't grab anyone. Most people stop making eye contact with you and start looking at other people, hoping someone will say something more interesting.

That seemed to happen to me so much when I was younger, I just figured I must be boring as fuck. So I don't talk much in groups anymore or approach women. Never got past it.

Posted by: Country Boy at July 21, 2017 06:34 PM (Jcg9Q)

160 Getting raped by gorillas. They have these really small penises, but they are covered with this rough skin. Plus the damn males weigh a half ton and stink. I hate that.

******


You left out the most annoying part.

He doesn't write. He doesn't call...

Posted by: Muldoon at July 21, 2017 06:34 PM (wPiJc)

161
Standing behind a full grown adult at McDonald's who must examine the menu board and ask the questiions about the items like they never eaten there before.

Posted by: Deplorable Male Logic at July 21, 2017 06:34 PM (lKyWE)

162 Sharks have been a problem this year, going out on the half day boat tomorrow morning with the neighbors.

Posted by: Tinfoilbaby at July 21, 2017 06:32 PM (6Ll1u)
..............

Can you take my neighbor too, and maybe throw them over the side?

Posted by: wth at July 21, 2017 06:34 PM (HgMAr)

163 People who put their bare feet up on the dashboard. Gross.

Posted by: Shoveljerk at July 21, 2017 06:34 PM (oCVZH)

164 People who don't love Gorillapundit."

It's GorillaPundit. Show some respect for your better.
Posted by: Tuna at July 21, 2017 06:31 PM (g7Suk)

*Steps aside*

Posted by: Mark Andrew Edwards at July 21, 2017 06:34 PM (3OIiX)

165 Passive-aggressive women who fuck with you until you get pissed off, then play the victim.

Posted by: Insomniac, Professional Nobody at July 21, 2017 06:34 PM (0mRoj)

166 facebook

women fishing for likes on facebook with the ol' high angle pic or fishmouth pose and even worse all the other high angle pic women egging them on. such a fucking beatdown. it's about a third of the content closely followed by vacation pics like people don't even remember that forcing your friends to sit through your slideshow was a long running joke/complaint.
Posted by: The Original REAL Galactic Lord Sir Covfefe at July 21, 2017 06:29 PM (nFwvY)

Our society may have a fighting chance if we nuked Faceberg from orbit.

Posted by: Widespread Pepe at July 21, 2017 06:34 PM (2qHjF)

167 94 20 Here's a thing I hate that happens. Sometimes it happens to me, sometimes I see it happen to other people.

So like you're telling some story. I.....



remember the old jack in the box antennae balls? I had a friend who had taken the tiny yellow pointed hat off one. whenever your story got boring or he was ready for you to leave, he would slowly reach over and calmly place the tiny little hat on top of his head.

Posted by: The Original REAL Galactic Lord Sir Covfefe at July 21, 2017 06:34 PM (nFwvY)

168 I hate going into the convenience store for a bag of chips and ending up behind the dipshit who plays sixteen different types of lotteries, with a very specific strategy for playing each one. Five bucks on this, three on that, eight on this, select this scratch-off, oh, I got an instant win.

There should be a separate kiosk for these fucking retards and their foolproof winning plans.

Posted by: fucking lottery geniuses at July 21, 2017 06:34 PM (56mx9)

169 CABLE "NEWS" -they repeat the same 4-5 stories over and over and over (my wife likes cable news-FOX BUSINESS and
OAM lately). I live in a small house so it is hard to get away
from it.

Posted by: Glenn John at July 21, 2017 06:35 PM (LilNs)

170 People who pass me on the interstate using cruise control.

Posted by: RokShox at July 21, 2017 06:35 PM (yehh7)

171 People at the gym who do mini circuits when the place is busy. Chicks in the gym who have no idea what they're doing, except getting the way. Old farts at the gym who get in the way, and do it-- slowly.....

Posted by: macleod at July 21, 2017 06:35 PM (I7blG)

172 Ice that melts....I mean really, if I'd wanted melted ice I would've got water.

Posted by: BignJames at July 21, 2017 06:35 PM (x9c8r)

173 Assholes riding bikes into oncoming traffic rather than with it.

Assholes who ride motorcycles between lanes of cars on the road/freeway.

Assholes who, instead of waiting in the line of traffic, have to get into the lane to the right that is moving, then stop dead until someone lets them in.

Cops sitting along the side the road during rush hour where no one is going over 20 mph, causing it to slow even further or come to a dead stop.

Driving

Posted by: Bicentennialguy at July 21, 2017 06:35 PM (nILVB)

174
Posted by: Jack Sock at July 21, 2017 06:33 PM (IDPbH)


I thought I was the only one who gets annoyed by that

Posted by: Deplorable Male Logic at July 21, 2017 06:35 PM (lKyWE)

175 I hate when you are out with a group of people and everyone is looking at their damn phones and texting away.

Posted by: JackStraw at July 21, 2017 06:35 PM (/tuJf)

176 I hate the penny tray that says Take One Give One.

I don't deal with pennies. Who does that? Who's that for?


Posted by: L, Elle at July 21, 2017 06:33 PM (8mOxN)

I take the nickels, dimes and occasional quarter. It's like getting paid 20, 30, 40 bucks an hour.

Yeah, I've done the math.

Posted by: Country Boy at July 21, 2017 06:35 PM (Jcg9Q)

177 156 I hate people who look at the menu board in a fast food restaurant.
Posted by: Jack Sock at July 21, 2017 06:33 PM (IDPbH)



I hate the people who don't look at it until the counter person wants to take their order.

WTF were you doing while you standing in line?

Close relative of acting surprised at a checkout counter when you find you have to pay, and start fumbling with your wallet. Where do you normally shop that you don't have to pay?

Posted by: Deplorable Jay Guevara at July 21, 2017 06:35 PM (SRKgf)

178 People who don't put their grocery carts back into the Corral or whatever you call them. I have seen people who leave their carts right next to it. You that damn lazy, and don't get me started on People who leave their carts in the Handicapped spaces.

Posted by: Patrick From Ohio at July 21, 2017 06:35 PM (dKiJG)

179 I hate it when women don't hit on me just because I'm gay and they assume I'm not interested. I mean, I'm not. But I'd feel flaatered if they at least made an attempt.

Posted by: Shep Smith at July 21, 2017 06:35 PM (xAvrH)

180 Passive-aggressive women who fuck with you until you get pissed off, then play the victim.
Posted by: Insomniac, Professional Nobody at July 21, 2017 06:34 PM (0mRoj)

A lot of mothers do this to their sons. Ask me how I know

Posted by: Widespread Pepe at July 21, 2017 06:35 PM (2qHjF)

181 Someone stealing my stolen stuff.

Speaking of which, HBO is seriously-you-guys going to send some harsh letters to the people piratin' their shows. By way of their ISPs.

At least, according to Business Insider.

Posted by: boulder terlit hobo at July 21, 2017 06:35 PM (6FqZa)

182 OK, here's my complaint:

You go to church, grab an order of service in the vestibule, and try to go into the sanctuary. Except you can't, because THREE OR FOUR INCONSIDERATE CLODS ARE HAVING A CONVERSATION RIGHT AT THE DOOR SO NO ONE CAN GET INSIDE.

Inspires some not very heavenly thoughts, let me tell you.

Posted by: OregonMuse, AoSHQ Thought Leader at July 21, 2017 06:35 PM (OiLIO)

183 I hate it when people stop listening to me rant, just because they have to take a phone call! What nerve!

Posted by: goon at July 21, 2017 06:35 PM (EaQ6/)

184 I hate that every building during the summer in the south is chilled to about 60 degrees. People are walking around the office wearing sweaters and windbreakers! Then you go into a meeting room and it's 50-60 degrees supposedly in case some upper muckety muck director guy in a suit and tie is there to give a presentation and wants any possible flop sweat flash frozen off his body. Screw your suit and tie! You could store meat in these rooms! People are running space heaters under their desks in July in Savannah!

At the end of the day I walk out to my car, climb in and just sit there for a while, absorbing the heat to get my core temperature back.

Posted by: bananaDream at July 21, 2017 06:35 PM (BHl6T)

185 A good way to end a story that nobody is interested is "...and then I found $20."

Posted by: goodluckduck at July 21, 2017 06:36 PM (yqvys)

186 You wanna know what really blarts my gobusin?

Bloggers who post short, inane posts about things barely worth mentioning, because, they got nothin.'

And so do I!

Posted by: mindful webworker - inanely animated at July 21, 2017 06:36 PM (hGZJP)

187 Posted by: Deplorable Male Logic at July 21, 2017 06:34 PM (lKyWE)

I wasn't the one who was a minute behind this time.

Posted by: Jack Sock at July 21, 2017 06:36 PM (IDPbH)

188 Pineapple upside down cake.

Posted by: Muldoon at July 21, 2017 06:36 PM (wPiJc)

189 Spicy Indian food.

Posted by: Mark Andrew Edwards at July 21, 2017 06:36 PM (3OIiX)

190 People who leave their car at the fuel pump and dick around inside the convenience store for ten minutes.

Posted by: Insomniac, Professional Nobody at July 21, 2017 06:36 PM (0mRoj)

191 i hate being around people who have their dumb phones set to give them an audio alert for EVERYTHING, including stupid shit like emails or twitter notifications.

"staying connected to the internet" = "staying disconnected from real life."

sorry, major pet peeve. I really don't like it.

Posted by: ace at July 21, 2017 06:36 PM (8rNrN)

192 People who write paper checks.

Posted by: RokShox at July 21, 2017 06:36 PM (yehh7)

193 Plus deposits at ATM's should not be allowed.
Posted by: Country Boy at July 21, 2017 06:30 PM (Jcg9Q)

---

Not an option for USAA customers.

Posted by: SMFH at July 21, 2017 06:36 PM (s5Kql)

194 161
Standing behind a full grown adult at McDonald's who must examine the menu board and ask the questiions about the items like they never eaten there before.
Posted by: Deplorable Male Logic at July 21, 2017 06:34 PM (lKyWE)


What about people who wait in a long-ass line at a restaurant, get up to the front and then look up at the menu board and say "Hmmmm, what do I want?"

Posted by: Ace's liver at July 21, 2017 06:36 PM (Xuv2G)

195 Chicks in the gym who have no idea what they're doing, except getting the way.

Women on the treadmill next to you who spend thirty minutes talking loudly on their phone.

Posted by: Cicero (@cicero) at July 21, 2017 06:36 PM (Mouru)

196 The pens with flowers attached to sign credit card receipts and deter pen thieves.
I hate those.

Posted by: L, Elle at July 21, 2017 06:36 PM (8mOxN)

197 171 People at the gym who do mini circuits when the place is busy. Chicks in the gym who have no idea what they're doing, except getting the way. Old farts at the gym who get in the way, and do it-- slowly.....
Posted by: macleod at July 21, 2017 06:35 PM (I7blG)



People at the gym who use a laughably small weight, do a couple of desultory reps, then sit on the gear dicking with their phones for the next 10 minutes.

Posted by: Deplorable Jay Guevara at July 21, 2017 06:36 PM (SRKgf)

198 Cat farts. Whoa: those are gross.

Posted by: Alcoholic Asshole Shut In at July 21, 2017 06:37 PM (fMBcz)

199 Reminds me of the time I stapled baloney to my face. I hate when that happens.

Posted by: JuJuBee at July 21, 2017 06:37 PM (2NqXo)

200 "People who take forever at ATM's."

That one makes me fvcking homicidal. Some jerk with a g-ddamn long-form tax accounting procedure with 6 checks to deposit, waiting for their notarized pdf document to print out.

Posted by: fly gal at July 21, 2017 06:37 PM (8TdcF)

201 >>>A good way to end a story that nobody is interested is "...and then I found $20."

"And that's how I wound up in the Dali Lama's lap."

Posted by: ace at July 21, 2017 06:37 PM (8rNrN)

202
Ummmm.....

Can we have a What Is Your Bane? thread?

My "bane" is hard-boiled eggs that are a pain in the ass to peel.

Posted by: Soothsayer -- Fake Commenter at July 17, 2017 07:54 PM






So, is my Bane Thread??

Posted by: Soothsayer --Digitally Remastered at July 21, 2017 06:37 PM (qbQhu)

203 "Does this mean we have to move to the side and doff our caps ?"

Indeed...and back away reverently

Posted by: Tuna at July 21, 2017 06:37 PM (g7Suk)

204 Kinda bugs me when I look in the mirror every morning and see how 29 years has taken it's toll.

Posted by: wth at July 21, 2017 06:37 PM (HgMAr)

205 I hate people who honk at other cars in traffic. Chill out pal.

But there is one piece of road here inside the Boston beltway where I honk at least twice a week. There's a totally effed up intersection where a two lane split/carriageway style road is just beginning, and two other roads are joining it. EVERY road at that intersection but one has a stop sign, and the one that doesn't is coming down a short, steep hill.

Some stupid liberal woman is always, ALWAYS stopping on that hill. There's no light, no stop sign, and no yield sign, but they see traffic piled up, waiting, at the two stop signs on either side and assume they're in the wrong, because that's what liberalism does to you.

And I look like the asshole for honking at them.

Posted by: phone of kari - certified sidebar at July 21, 2017 06:37 PM (rOiBy)

206 Bananas that went just a LITTLE bit too bad.
I mean, you think it still might be ok but when you open it up....fuzzy and soft as soup.

Posted by: Mark Andrew Edwards at July 21, 2017 06:37 PM (3OIiX)

207 A lot of mothers do this to their sons. Ask me how I know
Posted by: Widespread Pepe at July 21, 2017 06:35 PM (2qHjF)

Been there done that as well.

Posted by: Insomniac, Professional Nobody at July 21, 2017 06:37 PM (0mRoj)

208 People in the grocery aisle that have their stuff on the conveyor and there is plenty of room behind it so you can stick the divider there and start unloading your own groceries, but you can't because the dumbass is hanging back and standing right in the way of the empty conveyor space.

Posted by: buzzion at July 21, 2017 06:37 PM (z/Ubi)

209 163 People who put their bare feet up on the dashboard. Gross.
Posted by: Shoveljerk at July 21, 2017 06:34 PM (oCVZH)


Husbands who put their cold feet on their wives' stomachs in bed.

I never do this myself. I've only heard about it.

Posted by: OregonMuse, AoSHQ Thought Leader at July 21, 2017 06:37 PM (OiLIO)

210 44
First?!



I hate when posters claim first.





Posted by: Tami, Public Ineffectual at July 21, 2017 06:13 PM (Enq6K)



Harmless fun.

Posted by: Country Boy at July 21, 2017 06:22 PM (Jcg9Q)

I was a jokin'.
I hate people that don't go the speed limit. Especially if that speed limit is 30 mph. What? You've decided that's waaaaay too fast...you're gonna go 23 mph?

Posted by: Tami, Public Ineffectual at July 21, 2017 06:37 PM (Enq6K)

211 The guy in the truck who blasts past three cars, including mine, on the highway only to wind up right beside me at the next stop.

Posted by: Northernlurker, Phillips screwdriver of the gods at July 21, 2017 06:38 PM (hJrjt)

212 The post 9/11 security kabuki show has lots of downsides, but one absolutely gigantic benefit....no one without a ticket past security. I don't know how many time I got stuck behind someone doing a Walton family reunion 1 pace from the jetway exit, followed by another and another and another. GTFO of the way. There are connecting flights to be made and you, granny, all the new cousins and nieces are in the GD way.
In this one area only, I applaud the TSA.

Posted by: Bite the hand that feeds me at July 21, 2017 06:38 PM (mBm+4)

213 You write good. I like how you told the 'BOOM' story.

Posted by: LASue at July 21, 2017 06:38 PM (DlXP/)

214 My #2 pet peeve is people dicking around with their fucking phones at stop lights.

#1 is everyone in front of me on the highway. JUST MOOOOVE OUT OF MY WAY!

But #2 is trending upward.

#3 The fucknuts that leave a 1.5 car gap between their car and the car in front of them at stop lights. Some, but not all, are DICKING AROUND WITH THEIR FUCKING PHONES. The others are clearly signalling that they are completely unaware of their surroundings and should be dragged out of their cocoons and shot. Or maybe, they should hear my horn for the entire time I am behind them, which is what always happens.

Posted by: Skunky Choom at July 21, 2017 06:38 PM (aNGAc)

215 I hate when these gay guys keep sucking my cock.

Posted by: Bruce Heffernan at July 21, 2017 06:38 PM (4A5fG)

216 "I have to admit I get a bit fidgety when people start getting all pompous and uppity about their preferred brand of vodka. "

I never understood that, all vodka tasted like crap (medicinal) to me. Until my wife bought Tito's...

Posted by: JT at July 21, 2017 06:38 PM (i2Dd+)

217 195 Chicks in the gym who have no idea what they're doing, except getting the way.

Women on the treadmill next to you who spend thirty minutes talking loudly on their phone.
Posted by: Cicero (@cicero) at July 21, 2017 06:36 PM (Mouru)


I can forgive if she's hot.

Posted by: Ace's liver at July 21, 2017 06:38 PM (Xuv2G)

218 Yeah, you say "Dalai Lama" and people start to listen.

Posted by: Cicero (@cicero) at July 21, 2017 06:38 PM (Mouru)

219 People who order food at Starbucks (and what seems like four meals) when I'm in a rush to get to work and only want a cup of coffee. AND people who tell me I should use their APP and order in advance.

Posted by: Winston at July 21, 2017 06:38 PM (mgpkf)

220 Lottery players. Bam. The worst.

Posted by: dagny at July 21, 2017 06:38 PM (wZuWv)

221 Chicks in the gym who have no idea what they're doing, except getting the way.


Then you'll like this one. Two stations for a given exercise, two chicks. Each one gets on one station, they do a little half-assed set, then sit and chat for 10 minutes while they rest up for the next brutal set, ignoring people waiting for the equipment.

Hey, girls, how about ONE of you does your little set, while the OTHER rests, freeing up the other station?

Just a thought.

Posted by: Deplorable Jay Guevara at July 21, 2017 06:38 PM (SRKgf)

222 Saw "Dunkirk" today. (Very, very good. Go see it.) My spouse and I were first in the theater for an early morning show. Just the two of us. Five minutes before the show, two more people come in and proceed directly in front of us one row ahead blocking our view. With an entire theater filled with empty seats. And we weren't even in the center. Unbelievable.

Posted by: RS at July 21, 2017 06:39 PM (CNQqJ)

223 >>"staying connected to the internet" = "staying disconnected from real life."

Had my niece and nephew down last summer and took them out on the boat. It was an absolutely gorgeous day with boats everywhere and all kinds of interesting things.

They are all in the cabin texting their friends. I told them to go out and enjoy the day. They said they were telling their friends how much fun they were having.

Fortunately, I had beer.

Posted by: JackStraw at July 21, 2017 06:39 PM (/tuJf)

224 168 I hate going into the convenience store for a bag of chips and ending up behind the dipshit who plays sixteen different types of lotteries, with a very specific strategy for playing each one. Five bucks on this, three on that, eight on this, select this scratch-off, oh, I got an instant win.

There should be a separate kiosk for these fucking retards and their foolproof winning plans.
Posted by: fucking lottery geniuses at July 21, 2017 06:34 PM (56mx9)

---

this

Posted by: SMFH at July 21, 2017 06:39 PM (s5Kql)

225 I hate... everything about you.

Posted by: Ugly Kid Joe at July 21, 2017 06:39 PM (jZgTE)

226 And the kids! They call that music? Bah!

Posted by: josephistan at July 21, 2017 06:39 PM (ANIFC)

227 Texas Dan -those are probably juniper trees -I have three in my yard.

Another pet peeve -why do I have to waste so much of my property with a front yard that has to be mowed and watered
and where the neighborhood chihuahuas can take a crap.
Chihuahuas are promiscuous in my area and are always roaming around screwing and crapping.

Posted by: Glenn John at July 21, 2017 06:39 PM (LilNs)

228 The advertising and entertainment industry cramming ghey shit into everything, including children's shows.

Posted by: Insomniac, Professional Nobody at July 21, 2017 06:40 PM (0mRoj)

229 Gorilla Pundit always cuts to the bare bones of an issue.
He'll lead the uprising. I hope he remembers us.

Posted by: Monkfish at July 21, 2017 06:40 PM (7ciu+)

230 I could make a shorter list about things that don't annoy me.


Hiya Hordesters!

Posted by: @DangerGirl (gab.ai) and her 1.21 Gigawatt SanityProd (tm) at July 21, 2017 06:40 PM (/o9Qk)

231 Girls Scout abortion cookies. I hate those stands and those little girls being led astray selling them.

Posted by: L, Elle at July 21, 2017 06:40 PM (8mOxN)

232 Cigarette butts on my lawn bother me.

Posted by: Northernlurker, Phillips screwdriver of the gods at July 21, 2017 06:40 PM (hJrjt)

233 Getting an email from your coworker who is literally 20 feet across the room.

Posted by: CrotchetyOldJarhead at July 21, 2017 06:40 PM (pDZCs)

234 When the new guy kills all my accomplishments.

Posted by: Barry O, Private Citizen at July 21, 2017 06:40 PM (2NqXo)

235 163 People who put their bare feet up on the dashboard. Gross.
Posted by: Shoveljerk at July 21, 2017 06:34 PM (oCVZH)



Airbag. 5 mph bump on front bumper. End of problem.

Posted by: Deplorable Jay Guevara at July 21, 2017 06:41 PM (SRKgf)

236 When the light turns green and nobody. Fucking. Moves.

Posted by: Insomniac, Professional Nobody at July 21, 2017 06:41 PM (0mRoj)

237 Cops who pull somebody over for speeding and, because they're now taking up a lane, have made the drive more dangerous.

Posted by: Northernlurker, Phillips screwdriver of the gods at July 21, 2017 06:41 PM (hJrjt)

238 I hate fat people who park their carts in the middle of the aisle and stand next to it looking at the donuts, like: "Yum. Donuts. Wut kind shood I get? hmmm."

Posted by: wth at July 21, 2017 06:41 PM (HgMAr)

239 That I boiled 36 eggs this morning, then found they were way too soft and had to go get more. It's 100 plus degrees so now I have 36 soft eggs plus the shells of 48 more in my basement freezer waiting for trash day.

Posted by: dagny at July 21, 2017 06:41 PM (wZuWv)

240 Drivers doing a "Michigan stop" at a 4-way.

Posted by: geoffb5 at July 21, 2017 06:41 PM (d3wbb)

241 Fit and healthy parents who spend a shit ton on their alvocados and toast points but by sodas, sugar, and pure garbage for their children. Fuck these assholes. I'm close to exchanging words with the next parent I see pulling this shit.

Posted by: Widespread Pepe at July 21, 2017 06:42 PM (2qHjF)

242 Plus deposits at ATM's should not be allowed.
Posted by: Country Boy at July 21, 2017 06:30 PM (Jcg9Q)

---

Not an option for USAA customers.

Posted by: SMFH at July 21, 2017 06:36 PM (s5Kql)

That's what tellers are for.

Posted by: Country Boy at July 21, 2017 06:42 PM (Jcg9Q)

243 #222 Yes! Someone stood next to me once on an empty Metro-North platform and I asked them if they NEEDED to stand so close.

Also, people who choose not to care about history.

Posted by: Winston at July 21, 2017 06:42 PM (mgpkf)

244 The "affected R" that people use when they speak. Like the doctor lady on the TV show Bones which I stopped watching for that very reason. I don't know where it came from, but I wish people would stop doing it.

Posted by: sinalco at July 21, 2017 06:42 PM (yODqO)

245 Fortunately, I had beer.
Posted by: JackStraw at July 21, 2017 06:39 PM (/tuJf)


So man of life's little annoyances can be fixed this way.

Posted by: Ace's liver at July 21, 2017 06:42 PM (Xuv2G)

246 Ace,
You read all the comments? How is that possible? I can read about half & keep up.


If drives me crazy when I'm in a lazy mood. I have been for the past few days because it's 90 degrees out and very humid and grass pollen is high. I went outside twice for a few minutes and came in crying. It's part allergies and part that it's simply too hot. I have to wear neck collar and at least one hand brace and they must add at least 10 degrees to the temperature & my roses look like hell.

Posted by: Carol at July 21, 2017 06:42 PM (NKOy9)

247 Cigarette butts on my lawn bother me.
Posted by: Northernlurker, Phillips screwdriver of the gods at July 21, 2017 06:40 PM
*****
Leave out an ashtray and I'll stop

Posted by: L, Elle at July 21, 2017 06:42 PM (8mOxN)

248 There are too many damn people in Colorado. Go smoke your weed somewhere else!

Posted by: norrin radd, wielder of the power cosmic at July 21, 2017 06:42 PM (3Lyjl)

249 Midgets.

Posted by: Cicero (@cicero) at July 21, 2017 06:42 PM (Mouru)

250 I passed a guy stocking shelves at the grocery store yesterday. I think he was going for a man bun, but his hair was only long enough that he was able to pull about an inch and a half into a lame-O sort of pony tail. And to top it off, it wasn't on the back of his head, it was on the top. Sort of a lame-O, top of the head Bronytail wannabe man bun.

Posted by: Muldoon at July 21, 2017 06:42 PM (wPiJc)

251 #242 What's a teller?

Posted by: Winston at July 21, 2017 06:42 PM (mgpkf)

252 People who race to pass me on an on-ramp. Which, putting me behind them, gives me the first chance to pass. I rake them off like dog shit off my shoe.

Posted by: RokShox at July 21, 2017 06:42 PM (yehh7)

253 I get quite irritable when there is a lane closing and traffic has to merge and that one asshole keeps driving all the way down the closing lane and attempts to merge at the last f*cking second.

If that fellow attempts to merge in front of me, I keep on the bumper of the car in front of me. If the douche attempts to wedge in, I am willing to wreck.

Up to this point, these douches have surrendered in this game of chicken. But the day someone dings me, I'm gonna ding their face.

Posted by: Malcolm Tent at July 21, 2017 06:43 PM (Kd2ow)

254 People who are not 20 feet across the room but four miles away who can't send a response to your e-mail when you need specific information, and you don't have their cell phone number. (I guess this is not a minor complaint; Sorry!)

Posted by: FenelonSpoke at July 21, 2017 06:43 PM (iVOAv)

255 The Overton Window.

Posted by: Mark Andrew Edwards at July 21, 2017 06:43 PM (3OIiX)

256 When the light turns green and nobody. Fucking. Moves.
-----

Should be justifiable homicide.

Posted by: Bicentennialguy at July 21, 2017 06:43 PM (nILVB)

257 Men who roll up the end of their skinny jeans.

Posted by: Winston at July 21, 2017 06:43 PM (mgpkf)

258 247 Cigarette butts on my lawn bother me.
Posted by: Northernlurker, Phillips screwdriver of the gods at July 21, 2017 06:40 PM
*****
Leave out an ashtray and I'll stop
Posted by: L, Elle at July 21, 2017 06:42 PM (8mOxN)

Ring the doorbell and I'll bring out an ashtray and we can visit a bit.

Posted by: Northernlurker, Phillips screwdriver of the gods at July 21, 2017 06:43 PM (hJrjt)

259 I hate how companies have used the green movement as an excuse to squeeze cost with light-weight or crap plastic bags, boxes, and bottles that barely get the job done.

Posted by: goodluckduck at July 21, 2017 06:43 PM (yqvys)

260 Cigarette butts on my lawn bother me.

Posted by: Northernlurker, Phillips screwdriver of the gods at July 21, 2017 06:40 PM (hJrjt)

Neighbor's dog turds on my lawn bother me.
Neighbor's dog on my lawn bothers me.
Neighbor bothers me.

Posted by: wth at July 21, 2017 06:43 PM (HgMAr)

261 @209 I also live in Oregon. I could prolly post 200 comments per hour in this thread.

Posted by: Shoveljerk at July 21, 2017 06:43 PM (oCVZH)

262 Posted by: SMFH at July 21, 2017 06:36 PM (s5Kql)

That's what tellers are for.
Posted by: Country Boy at July 21, 2017 06:42 PM (Jcg9Q)

---

Gotta have buildings for the tellers, hmm?

Posted by: SMFH at July 21, 2017 06:43 PM (s5Kql)

263 Getting stuck behind a school bus. It's not bad enough that they now stop like every 20 feet but now they have to have a second person go do a 360 around the bus at every stop to make sure ... I don't even know why.

When did the friggin school bus become such a dangerous thing?

Posted by: JackStraw at July 21, 2017 06:43 PM (/tuJf)

264 Men who self-identify as feminists.

Posted by: Winston at July 21, 2017 06:43 PM (mgpkf)

265
Yoga people

Posted by: Deplorable Male Logic at July 21, 2017 06:43 PM (lKyWE)

266 People who tell me I have to watch some television show or series.

Posted by: Winston at July 21, 2017 06:44 PM (mgpkf)

267 People who leave their car at the fuel pump and dick around inside the convenience store for ten minutes.
Posted by: Insomni

Lottery Tickets don't buy themselves.

Posted by: Patrick From Ohio at July 21, 2017 06:44 PM (dKiJG)

268 For people wondering what you do when you beat the bum to the punch and ask him for the dollar/cigarette first and he actually gives you one :

You take it and then ask him if he needed something. When he asks for a dollar or cigarette, give him your new one back.

More fun is to tell him that you don't have any, though.

Posted by: Hate Has No Homo at July 21, 2017 06:44 PM (psH+N)

269 Celibacy.

Posted by: Mark Andrew Edwards at July 21, 2017 06:44 PM (3OIiX)

270 People who use corporate jargon or say "the only constant is change" unironically.

Posted by: Insomniac, Professional Nobody at July 21, 2017 06:44 PM (0mRoj)

271 256 When the light turns green and nobody. Fucking. Moves.
-----

Should be justifiable homicide.
Posted by: Bicentennialguy at July 21, 2017 06:43 PM (nILVB)

---

As if they're waiting for the light to get greener.

Posted by: SMFH at July 21, 2017 06:44 PM (s5Kql)

272 Related to the prior thread, the young 'uns who are so engrossed in their phone they walk right into me. I'm 6' 5" tall and 230 and I'm ready for them. They bounce right off.

Posted by: Dave at Buffalo Roam at July 21, 2017 06:44 PM (HKM9P)

273 I don't really care for Rush, the band.

Posted by: Dr Spank at July 21, 2017 06:44 PM (4e+hS)

274 Having some stupid 12-year-old girl scream and run away when she sees me washing my dick in the sink in a Target bathroom.

Posted by: Jake Tapper at July 21, 2017 06:44 PM (2NqXo)

275 People who use a hashtag in a sentence...

Posted by: Winston at July 21, 2017 06:44 PM (mgpkf)

276 Harmless fun.

Posted by: Country Boy at July 21, 2017 06:22 PM (Jcg9Q)

I was a jokin'.
I hate people that don't go the speed limit. Especially if that speed limit is 30 mph. What? You've decided that's waaaaay too fast...you're gonna go 23 mph?


Posted by: Tami, Public Ineffectual at July 21, 2017 06:37 PM (Enq6K)

No problemo. There are people on here who whine about that.

I got the first 17 posts one night on an ONT.

*pats self on back*

Posted by: Country Boy at July 21, 2017 06:44 PM (Jcg9Q)

277 The reverse:

I like when I see a car getting pushed out of a busy intersection or someone helping fix a flat on the shoulder.

That's nice

Posted by: L, Elle at July 21, 2017 06:45 PM (8mOxN)

278 Getting stuck in slow moving traffic waiting for a passing lane. Then everybody speeds up when they get to the passing lane.

Posted by: Northernlurker, Phillips screwdriver of the gods at July 21, 2017 06:45 PM (hJrjt)

279 I hate blackjack people on the cheap tables (which is where I can play).

Motherfuckers, I KNOW the strategy. It's fucking listed on the back of playing cards and takes ten minutes to master.

But it's rote and mechanical. If I have a 13 and dealer shows a 5 I KNOW I'm supposed to stand, motherfuckers. But if I'm not occasionally Using the Force, then what the hell is the point of robotically playing the exact algorithm? Might as well play the slot machines.

So here's the problem: If you draw a card, and you get a 10, you bust, which is fine, but then these low-rent motherfuckers go "He took my 10" as if you've ruined everything for these gambling addict robots.

Motherfucker, what if the card I'd "taken" from you had been a useless SIX?

They pretend that the cards are all ordained. It's random chance until the card is drawn, assholes.

AND HOW THE HELL YOU DON'T KNOW I'M NOT COUNTING AND AM ADJUSTING STRATEGY ON MARGINAL HANDS ACCORDING TO THE COUNT?!

Which I have done before, btw. (Not to any success -- you need a team to do that right.)

SHUT THE FUCK UP AND LET ME TAKE AN OCCASIONAL AGAINST-THE-ALGORITHM MOVE, ASSHOLES>

ANyway, I can't play blackjack because of these assholes.

They really think they're Mr. Vegas for knowing a series of 20 rules that can be memorized and mastered (and played like a robot, thoughtlessly) and just make it no damn fun.

Posted by: ace at July 21, 2017 06:45 PM (8rNrN)

280 People who think they know everything.

Really annoy the crap out of those of us that do.

Posted by: random lurker commenter at July 21, 2017 06:45 PM (/ocGl)

281 Midgets.

Posted by: Cicero (@cicero) at July 21, 2017 06:42 PM (Mouru)
.......

Hopefully you make exceptions for the Mexican Wrestling kind.

Posted by: wth at July 21, 2017 06:45 PM (HgMAr)

282 Drivers doing a "Michigan stop" at a 4-way.


******

I've never heard this term. Is that when a car stops 30' short of the intersection in order to be the first to go through?

Posted by: Muldoon at July 21, 2017 06:45 PM (wPiJc)

283 269 Celibacy.
Posted by: Mark Andrew Edwards at July 21, 2017 06:44 PM (3OIiX)

*cough cough* years and counting.

Posted by: Insomniac, Professional Nobody at July 21, 2017 06:45 PM (0mRoj)

284 And Chastity, as we're at it.

Not the Chastity down at the Gentleman's Club, though. She's all right. Upsells her lap dances, but who doesn't there?

Posted by: Mark Andrew Edwards at July 21, 2017 06:45 PM (3OIiX)

285 When the light turns green and nobody. Fucking. Moves

*koff* dude... just... chill, man...

Posted by: colorado drivers at July 21, 2017 06:45 PM (6FqZa)

286 I hate it when these skinny asian women with huge tits and dressed in kinky latex mob me and make me have sex with them.

Decorum, ladies. Please!!

Posted by: Alcoholic Asshole Shut In at July 21, 2017 06:45 PM (fMBcz)

287 All people who eat peppermint and puff it in your face.

Posted by: Caliban at July 21, 2017 06:45 PM (oCeX7)

288 Re: Malcolm Tent at July 21, 2017 06:43 PM (Kd2ow)

Yes, it's annoying but it's more efficient for both lanes to proceed to the point of merge.

I just wish they'd put up signs telling drivers to proceed in both lanes to point of merge.

Posted by: RokShox at July 21, 2017 06:45 PM (yehh7)

289 How come some Harley bikes that are so loud don't get pulled over?

Posted by: Tinfoilbaby at July 21, 2017 06:45 PM (6Ll1u)

290 When you're at some social function and a friend says loudly that you have the funniest story about {x}. Now you have to perform and it better be funny because everyone's expectations have been raised.

Posted by: Cicero (@cicero) at July 21, 2017 06:45 PM (Mouru)

291 269 Celibacy.
Posted by: Mark Andrew Edwards at July 21, 2017 06:44 PM (3OIiX)

*cough cough* years and counting.
Posted by: Insomniac, Professional Nobody at July 21, 2017 06:45 PM (0mRoj)

I hear ya. Stupid marriage.

Posted by: Mark Andrew Edwards at July 21, 2017 06:46 PM (3OIiX)

292 The reverse:
...
That's nice
Posted by: L, Elle


Yeah, positivity is nice.

Posted by: colorado drivers at July 21, 2017 06:46 PM (6FqZa)

293 274
lol

Posted by: wth at July 21, 2017 06:46 PM (HgMAr)

294 Oh right, Marriage

Posted by: Mark Andrew Edwards at July 21, 2017 06:46 PM (3OIiX)

295 I hate when people go slow in the left lane.
I hate when people don't use a signal before they turn.
I hate people that apply makeup or text on the freeway.

Whew! Feel better already.

Posted by: keena at July 21, 2017 06:46 PM (RiTnx)

296 220 Lottery players. Bam. The worst.
Posted by: dagny at July 21, 2017 06:38 PM (wZuWv)

Waste of space.

Posted by: Widespread Pepe at July 21, 2017 06:46 PM (2qHjF)

297 But we were aiming for minor complaints so...

Blackberry vines.

Posted by: Mark Andrew Edwards at July 21, 2017 06:46 PM (3OIiX)

298 um, off sock.

Although maybe some primo cheeba wouldn't be amiss in this thread...

Posted by: boulder terlit hobo at July 21, 2017 06:46 PM (6FqZa)

299 People who form a blockade around the cocktail station at parties. MAKE A HOLE!

Posted by: Shoveljerk at July 21, 2017 06:46 PM (oCVZH)

300 271 256 When the light turns green and nobody. Fucking. Moves.
-----

Should be justifiable homicide.
Posted by: Bicentennialguy at July 21, 2017 06:43 PM (nILVB)

---

As if they're waiting for the light to get greener.
------

When I'm particularly worked up, I will yell "are you waiting for it to fucking bloom?"

Posted by: Bicentennialguy at July 21, 2017 06:46 PM (nILVB)

301 The road you're driving on goes from 2 lanes to 1, and then some guy from way, way back decides it's the Daytona 500, speeds up to 132 mph, and tries to get though the bottleneck ahead of you. So you basically have to slow down and pull to one side so dale earnhardt can get to where he's going 3 minutes earlier.

Posted by: OregonMuse, AoSHQ Thought Leader at July 21, 2017 06:46 PM (OiLIO)

302 Six emergency response vehicles blocking all but one lane of traffic for a minor fender bender.

Posted by: Insomniac, Professional Nobody at July 21, 2017 06:46 PM (0mRoj)

303 Gotta have buildings for the tellers, hmm?

Posted by: SMFH at July 21, 2017 06:43 PM (s5Kql)

Yeah, and those silly people who don't have direct deposit.

/s

Posted by: Country Boy at July 21, 2017 06:46 PM (Jcg9Q)

304 265
Yoga people
Posted by: Deplorable Male Logic at July 21, 2017 06:43 PM (lKyWE)


FTFM

Posted by: buzzion at July 21, 2017 06:46 PM (z/Ubi)

305 Insomniac,
It drives me crazy when I drive into Boston and they're on their bikes and disregard traffic lights. I was almost in an accident once, but it was the car hitting the man on bike that ran the red light & the impatient ass behind me beeping his horn because I didn't immediately turn right because I saw that one on his bike speeding up to keep going. I had my blinker on and he just went straight through.

Posted by: Carol at July 21, 2017 06:46 PM (NKOy9)

306 Some of these don't sound like minor complaints.

Posted by: FenelonSpoke at July 21, 2017 06:46 PM (iVOAv)

307 Toothpicks and people that use them publicly

Posted by: L, Elle at July 21, 2017 06:46 PM (8mOxN)

308 Oh, yeah, and people who keep one car length between them and the car in front of them IN THE DRIVE THRU. Come on, people, pull up! Other people are hungry and would like to order, too.

Posted by: sinalco at July 21, 2017 06:47 PM (yODqO)

309 Vocal fry and uptalk.

Posted by: josephistan at July 21, 2017 06:47 PM (ANIFC)

310 Getting an email from your coworker who is literally 20 feet across the room.

What? I'm ready to stab the old farts in my office who wander up to my desk, warm up to their question with some chit-chat, take three minutes to think how to ask their question, spill it out half-assedly, backtrack because they asked it wrong, wait; I need to go look at my computer because this next part refers to this specific line of code, GAH!!!

Go back to your desk, think through your question, write it succinctly with references to the line of code, and give me space so I can get to all that when I'm at a good stopping point.

IOW an email is perfect, sit your happy ass down and don't interrupt me when I'm working on things that require me to keep buttloads of information in my head all at once.

Posted by: bonhomme at July 21, 2017 06:47 PM (jhqr1)

311 270
We need to workshop that peeve, really get organization-wide buy-in from all constituencies, before we can drill down to the synergies and innovate.

Posted by: Your Decidedly Devious Uncle Palpatine. All Honor & Glory to Kekistan! at July 21, 2017 06:47 PM (fA1SL)

312 264 Men who self-identify as feminists.
Posted by: Winston at July 21, 2017 06:43 PM (mgpkf)


Hahaha. I think that bothers women more than men.

Posted by: Ace's liver at July 21, 2017 06:47 PM (Xuv2G)

313 >>>Getting stuck behind a school bus. It's not bad enough that they now stop like every 20 feet but now they have to have a second person go do a 360 around the bus at every stop to make sure ... I don't even know why.


sometimes it takes like 20 minutes for these kids to de-bus, too. I don't know if they each have to have their parent present now or what, but it's insane how long you have to wait.

Just get the fuck off the bus. It's not hard.

Posted by: ace at July 21, 2017 06:47 PM (8rNrN)

314 Being told in a "duh" voice by the 17 year old latina girl behind the counter that McDonald's doesn't have a dollar menu.

Posted by: phone of kari - certified sidebar at July 21, 2017 06:47 PM (rOiBy)

315 Oh yes and I hate men who don't think they have to shower before they go to the gym. Oh yes you do, stinky! Otherwise get off the stairclimber next to me!

Posted by: keena at July 21, 2017 06:47 PM (RiTnx)

316 I hear ya. Stupid marriage.

Posted by: Mark Andrew Edwards at July 21, 2017 06:46 PM (3OIiX)


Am I the only guy on this blog with a good marriage?

Posted by: OregonMuse, AoSHQ Thought Leader at July 21, 2017 06:47 PM (OiLIO)

317 291 269 Celibacy.
Posted by: Mark Andrew Edwards at July 21, 2017 06:44 PM (3OIiX)

*cough cough* years and counting.
Posted by: Insomniac, Professional Nobody at July 21, 2017 06:45 PM (0mRoj)

I hear ya. Stupid marriage.
Posted by: Mark Andrew Edwards at July 21, 2017 06:46 PM (3OIiX)

I'm divorced but it started well before that.

Posted by: Insomniac, Professional Nobody at July 21, 2017 06:47 PM (0mRoj)

318 I hate it when a show is supposed to start at 7:00 but they make it start at 7:10 and then it runs until 8:10 and my DVR doesn't record the last 10 minutes. WTF is up with that?

Posted by: Jason at July 21, 2017 06:47 PM (uYpPl)

319 "Your device contains sixty-two moving parts, which should require,
if we assume standardized fabrication process, a probable optimax of five thousand two hundred and eleven operation in manufacture assuming
null-therblig automation."

chop chop sister

Posted by: R A Heinlein mansplaining at July 21, 2017 06:47 PM (7ciu+)

320 150
130 I hate it when I have a big dried booger lodged up high and in back
of my nose, and I can just touch it with a finger, but can't snag it
out. Drives me crazy.

------------------------------------


That is what little finger nails are for.

Posted by: Javems at July 21, 2017 06:48 PM (yOqwj)

321 I hate it when these skinny asian women with huge tits and dressed in kinky latex mob me and make me have sex with them.

For a long time this was a prominent ad in the comments' sidebar. Because the "geek girls" (iirc) had bought the advertising space and then a Japanese porn site snagged the domain.

Posted by: boulder terlit hobo at July 21, 2017 06:48 PM (6FqZa)

322 When I rule the world, it will be illegal to drive somewhere during the rush hours.
Also, if you do not work, you will not be allowed to shop or drive between noon and 2:00 pm. I have wasted too many lunch hours on a checkout line behind people who have nowhere else to be.

Posted by: Toni at July 21, 2017 06:48 PM (S37Lc)

323 When the lane goes from 2 lanes to 1 and everybody gets in the 1 lane 5 freakin' miles back.

Yeah, I'm the one that waits til the lane ends. And proud of it.

Posted by: Country Boy at July 21, 2017 06:48 PM (Jcg9Q)

324 Go back to your desk, think through your question, write it succinctly with references to the line of code, and give me space so I can get to all that when I'm at a good stopping point.


Completely agree with this. Email FTW!!!

Posted by: Cicero (@cicero) at July 21, 2017 06:48 PM (Mouru)

325 The Fucking Red Sox.

Posted by: garrett at July 21, 2017 06:48 PM (beJsD)

326 Being called "sweetheart" and "Honey" by girls younger than me

Posted by: L, Elle at July 21, 2017 06:48 PM (8mOxN)

327 I hate the jukebox apps. You wanna play the jukebox, grow some stones and get up there and stick yer stinkin' money in the slot. I really hate not being able to be judgmental about whomever played "In-A-Gadda-Da-Vida" again!

Posted by: goon at July 21, 2017 06:48 PM (EaQ6/)

328 I hate people that apply makeup or text on the freeway.


My daughter yelled, "Holy crap, that guy is playing the guitar!" And he was, while driving I-95 during the morning commute.

Posted by: no good deed at July 21, 2017 06:49 PM (hsb2w)

329 People who crowd the conveyor belt in baggage claim.

Posted by: RokShox at July 21, 2017 06:49 PM (yehh7)

330 220
Lottery players. Bam. The worst.


Posted by: dagny at July 21, 2017 06:38 PM (wZuWv)

And it's like they're speaking a different language? I don't understand a thing they're saying.

Posted by: Tami, Public Ineffectual at July 21, 2017 06:49 PM (Enq6K)

331
Constant breaking news banners

Posted by: Deplorable Male Logic at July 21, 2017 06:49 PM (lKyWE)

332 So here's the problem: If you draw a card, and you get a 10, you bust, which is fine, but then these low-rent motherfuckers go "He took my 10" as if you've ruined everything for these gambling addict robots.

Hahahahahaha! I've had people seriously pissed off at me over that: "If you took a card/didn't take a card like you were supposed to, I would have won."

Posted by: Ace's liver at July 21, 2017 06:49 PM (Xuv2G)

333 Having some stupid 12-year-old girl scream and run away when she sees me washing my dick in the sink in a Target bathroom.
-----

Little prude bigot should just get used to seeing grown men's cocks.

Posted by: Chris Cuomo at July 21, 2017 06:49 PM (nILVB)

334 These problem are related a host of similar annoyances, outright dangers, disasters and disembowelments known as city life.

They are curable, but may require significant lifestyle changes.

Posted by: Meremortal at July 21, 2017 06:49 PM (3myMJ)

335 Truckers who attempt to pass another truck, going uphill and with a speed differential of .0002MPH.

They should be shot on sight.

FTS

Posted by: Deplorable Redneck Bitter Clinger at July 21, 2017 06:49 PM (MCEs2)

336 Posted by: Your Decidedly Devious Uncle Palpatine. All Honor & Glory to Kekistan! at July 21, 2017 06:47 PM (fA1SL)

You know this means I'm going to have to hurt you.

Posted by: Insomniac, Professional Nobody at July 21, 2017 06:49 PM (0mRoj)

337 There is a right and wrong way to load a dishwasher. No one in my house cares to learn how to load a dishwasher but they'll complain if the dishes remain dirty following a wash cycle.

Posted by: BuckIV at July 21, 2017 06:49 PM (CLfqv)

338 Am I the only guy on this blog with a good marriage?


Posted by: OregonMuse, AoSHQ Thought Leader at July 21, 2017 06:47 PM (OiLIO)

You and colfax mingo.

Posted by: Country Boy at July 21, 2017 06:49 PM (Jcg9Q)

339 I hate when people stop in the narrowest, most constricted point of an area used for throughput, for a fucking conversation.

If I am inconvenienced one more time by two women stopped in the doorway of the stairwell in a high traffic hospital area from whom I hear something like, "I know, she's taking another break! It's so not fair!" I'm gonna lose my shit, take a piss on both of 'em and ask, "Does that take your mind off the unfairness of Eloise's break?"

Posted by: Fair enough at July 21, 2017 06:49 PM (QCyzD)

340 Food Stampers and WiC Mothers.

They shouldn't be allowed to checkout until there are no Tax Payers behind them.

Posted by: garrett at July 21, 2017 06:49 PM (beJsD)

341 I hate when I don't know what time zone I'm in. I"m suppused to be at a restaurant at seven. But I don't know if that's regular seven or sombody eleses seven.

Posted by: grammie winger at July 21, 2017 06:50 PM (1fvpz)

342 I hate it when the can of Toppik runs out 5 minutes before the show.

Posted by: Don Lemon with masking tape on his forehead at July 21, 2017 06:50 PM (HgMAr)

343 Jock itch

Posted by: Michelle Obama at July 21, 2017 06:50 PM (nILVB)

344 " I hate those stupid dorm room philosophers who prattle on and on about how knowledge is impossible, existence is impossible and in fact, they're not even sure they exist themselves. "


Johnson and Boswell:

"After we came out of the church, we stood talking for some time together of Bishop Berkeley's ingenious sophistry to prove the nonexistence of matter, and that every thing in the universe is merely ideal. I observed, that though we are satisfied his doctrine is not true, it is impossible to refute it. I never shall forget the alacrity with which Johnson answered, striking his foot with mighty force against a large stone, till he rebounded from it -- "I refute it thus."
Boswell: Life of Boswell

Posted by: Mike Hammer, etc., etc. at July 21, 2017 06:50 PM (OdK9v)

345 I hate when people say they hate firsters. For some of us, it's the only highlight to our lonely, pathetic lives. Sniff, sniff.

Posted by: RI Red - retired AND on vacation. at July 21, 2017 06:50 PM (PZ+aV)

346 I send the emails, but then the recipient doesn't read them, so I have to go over there to ask the question, but then the recipient asks for the quick version. Which I can't remember because that information was in the email.

Posted by: boulder terlit hobo at July 21, 2017 06:50 PM (6FqZa)

347 Asshole decides to be fucking Hemingway texting people, sits at green light and slowly starts to inch forward despite the line of cars behind him/her/it. Him/her/ it's text is so much more important than everyone else getting to fucking work.

Fucking assholes.

Posted by: Mr Aspirin Factory at July 21, 2017 06:50 PM (89T5c)

348 Scratch-off lottery players that make my cigarette transaction take 15 minutes at the convenience store.

Posted by: Malcolm Tent at July 21, 2017 06:50 PM (Kd2ow)

349 I hear ya. Stupid marriage.

Posted by: Mark Andrew Edwards at July 21, 2017 06:46 PM (3OIiX)

Am I the only guy on this blog with a good marriage?
Posted by: OregonMuse, AoSHQ Thought Leader at July 21, 2017 06:47 PM (OiLIO)

You're not the only one. A lucky one, maybe.

Sorry, was aiming for little complaints. A big one snuck in. I'll try not to complain so much about real stuff.

Posted by: Mark Andrew Edwards at July 21, 2017 06:50 PM (3OIiX)

350 People who race to pass me on an on-ramp.

Hopefully you're not one of those people who attempt to merge into 60 mph traffic doing 35. It's a near death sentence for the poor bastid them.

Posted by: Notorious BFD at July 21, 2017 06:50 PM (Tyii7)

351 I like how you can reload normal threads and not see any new comments, but ask about people's pet peeves and it's too fast to read.

Posted by: Ace's liver at July 21, 2017 06:50 PM (Xuv2G)

352 Stale cereal.

Posted by: Winston at July 21, 2017 06:50 PM (mgpkf)

353
"He took my 10" as if you've ruined everything for these gambling addict robots.

There's a similar mentality among NASCAR drivers. Sometimes they don't let another car pass, so they end up crashing. But the lead driver will blame the passing driver even though the lead driver was really to blame. Idiots.

Posted by: Soothsayer --Digitally Remastered at July 21, 2017 06:50 PM (qbQhu)

354 We go to a catholic church and I always feel like giving 6 people the finger or the horn on the way out in the car, there's a double wide exit but no lines so everyone drives right down the middle. After all some people remember when there were horses and no stoplights and city hall was a tent. Times change. And some phone always rings during the service. And these people don't know how to sing.

Posted by: Bill sometimes Bill formerly from Canada at July 21, 2017 06:50 PM (JQ5d4)

355 Men who roll up the end of their skinny jeans.
Posted by: Winston at July 21, 2017 06:43 PM (mgpkf)


*Looks up from smartphone*

What if they're, like, really long though?

*Takes pull on Starbucks iced macchiato without breaking eye contact*
*Scratches inside of 2-inch ear gauge hole*
*Makes floppy gay hand gesture*

Posted by: phone of kari - certified sidebar at July 21, 2017 06:50 PM (rOiBy)

356 People who dunk themselves in a vat of perfume or cologne before leaving the house.

Posted by: no good deed at July 21, 2017 06:51 PM (hsb2w)

357
btw, you know who made up those blackjack rules?

The CASINOS.

Fuck the Rules in Blackjack.

Posted by: Soothsayer --Digitally Remastered at July 21, 2017 06:51 PM (qbQhu)

358 BlackJack players should be counted as 0/5ths of a person.

Posted by: Widespread Pepe at July 21, 2017 06:51 PM (2qHjF)

359 I hate FB messenger with a searing white hot passion. I hate FB just a little less.

Really greasy turds are a real pain in the ass to clean up after.

Posted by: Bonecrusher at July 21, 2017 06:51 PM (r+mGZ)

360 309
Vocal fry and uptalk.

Posted by: josephistan at July 21, 2017 06:47 PM (ANIFC)
I was just going to say this. Millennial women are the worst. I tried listening to a few fictional podcasts recently and I just couldn't get past the vocal affectations of the narrators.

Posted by: mark1971 at July 21, 2017 06:52 PM (xPl2J)

361 Being willowed with a long comment.

Posted by: geoffb5 at July 21, 2017 06:52 PM (d3wbb)

362 Glenn Beck and his Holier than thou attitude, I can't believe I use to listen to him.

Posted by: Patrick From Ohio at July 21, 2017 06:52 PM (dKiJG)

363 CNN in airports

Posted by: Mark Andrew Edwards at July 21, 2017 06:52 PM (3OIiX)

364 Oh yes and I hate men who don't think they have to shower before they go to the gym. Oh yes you do, stinky! Otherwise get off the stairclimber next to me!

Posted by: keena at July 21, 2017 06:47 PM (RiTnx)

Take a shower and then get all sweaty again? What's the point?

I've never done that.

*must be a chick*

Posted by: Country Boy at July 21, 2017 06:52 PM (Jcg9Q)

365 to steal a comedian's joke:

I hate that you walk into starbucks for a fucking coffee and are confronted with the new Diana Krall album, like you know who that is or could possibly want that with your coffee.

Okay that joke is a little old, I don't think they sell albums any more, but God, that was so pretentious.

Posted by: ace at July 21, 2017 06:52 PM (8rNrN)

366 Hi Elle!

Posted by: Carol at July 21, 2017 06:52 PM (NKOy9)

367 People who dawdle when the left turn arrow turns green. We'd all like to get through the light.

Posted by: RokShox at July 21, 2017 06:52 PM (yehh7)

368 People who get into the passing lane then pace the car on their right.

Posted by: Insomniac, Professional Nobody at July 21, 2017 06:52 PM (0mRoj)

369 335 Truckers who attempt to pass another truck, going uphill and with a speed differential of .0002MPH.

36 wheel drag race

Posted by: random lurker commenter at July 21, 2017 06:53 PM (/ocGl)

370 I hate it when I have to poop after getting out of the shower.

Posted by: Banana Splits Guy at July 21, 2017 06:53 PM (RrhD2)

371 Some of these don't sound like minor complaints.

Posted by: FenelonSpoke at July 21, 2017 06:46 PM (iVOAv)
..........

Hoo boy, let's not get started on MAJOR complaints!

Posted by: wth at July 21, 2017 06:53 PM (HgMAr)

372 False advertising. I'm looking at you, Amazon Prime.

Posted by: Deplorable Redneck Bitter Clinger at July 21, 2017 06:53 PM (MCEs2)

373

Another idiotic thing is batters rushing the pitcher's mound when a pitch comes too close to them.

Shithead, your JOB is stand there and let baseballs come whizzing at you at 90 mph.

Posted by: Soothsayer --Digitally Remastered at July 21, 2017 06:53 PM (qbQhu)

374 I like Diana Krall.

Posted by: garrett at July 21, 2017 06:53 PM (beJsD)

375 I send the emails, but then the recipient doesn't read them

Or just reads the first sentence until shiny object syndrome kicks in. I've learned to cram the gist of my message into the first sentence.

Posted by: Notorious BFD at July 21, 2017 06:53 PM (Tyii7)

376 The QuickQuestion was the bane of my office life for a long time. They were hardly ever quick in themselves, and they are ALWAYS a context-switching distraction, which meant derailing my train of thought and forcing me to look up another codebase.

The real motive behind a QuickQuestion, or its cousin "could you do me a favour real quick", is to get me to stop what I'm doing and to do your job instead.

I made it a rule, personally, never to ask a QuickQuestion and also, to tell off anyone who came to me for a QuickQuestion.

It's... a question. And sometimes it's a long question. Don't start the question off with a probable lie.

Posted by: boulder terlit hobo at July 21, 2017 06:53 PM (6FqZa)

377 The 318 pound black woman in front of me at the grocery store with 4 cases of Mountain Dew, a shopping cart full of groceries including the family pack of ribeye steaks who whips out the EBT card and then pays cash for her carton of Newports, pack of Swisher Sweets and 2 bottles of malt liquor.

Posted by: Malcolm Tent at July 21, 2017 06:54 PM (Kd2ow)

378 I never shall forget the alacrity with which Johnson answered, striking his foot with mighty force against a large stone, till he rebounded from it -- "I refute it thus."

Boswell: Life of Boswell
Posted by: Mike Hammer, etc., etc. at July 21, 2017 06:50 PM (OdK9v)


GorillaPundit like.

Posted by: OregonMuse, AoSHQ Thought Leader at July 21, 2017 06:54 PM (OiLIO)

379 I hate that I don't know when to use "alright" and when to use "all right".

Posted by: I'm Anonosaurus Wrecks and I approved this message at July 21, 2017 06:54 PM (Nwg0u)

380 I hate it when the kittens get out of the crab trap before I can get it back in the water.

Posted by: CSMBigBird at July 21, 2017 06:54 PM (xInes)

381 363 CNN in airports
Posted by: Mark Andrew Edwards at July 21, 2017 06:52 PM (3OIiX)


Fixed.

Posted by: OregonMuse, AoSHQ Thought Leader at July 21, 2017 06:55 PM (OiLIO)

382 condoms

Posted by: Widespread Pepe at July 21, 2017 06:55 PM (2qHjF)

383 People who speed up to pass me when they are *exiting* at a cloverleaf and I am *entering*. You've got to slow down anyway! Get behind me. I have to speed up to merge with traffic.

Posted by: RokShox at July 21, 2017 06:55 PM (yehh7)

384 I Play BlackJack. And play it well.
Blackjack earned me my doggie
I'm about to get mad,

Posted by: L, Elle at July 21, 2017 06:55 PM (8mOxN)

385 Being willowed with a long comment.


Yep. After ten minutes of thoughtful editing and wicked thesaurus-fu you drop a shining masterpiece of wit and insight onto the thread. Then you see the NOOD that hit 20 comments earlier.

Posted by: Cicero (@cicero) at July 21, 2017 06:55 PM (Mouru)

386 No toilet paper in the stall. Or a "short roll." That sucks bigly.

Negative points for no supplies available.

Double negative points for having had Mexican for lunch.

Posted by: Deplorable Redneck Bitter Clinger at July 21, 2017 06:55 PM (MCEs2)

387 I hate whomever puts the toilet paper on the roller the wrong way! Idiots!

Posted by: goon at July 21, 2017 06:56 PM (EaQ6/)

388 #363 Yes! It's like the telescreen in 1984!

Posted by: Winston at July 21, 2017 06:56 PM (mgpkf)

389 The 318 pound black woman in front of me at the grocery store with 4 cases of Mountain Dew, a shopping cart full of groceries including the family pack of ribeye steaks who whips out the EBT card and then pays cash for her carton of Newports, pack of Swisher Sweets and 2 bottles of malt liquor.

Posted by: Malcolm Tent at July 21, 2017 06:54 PM (Kd2ow)

There's my cue. Off to Walmart.

Posted by: Country Boy at July 21, 2017 06:56 PM (Jcg9Q)

390 375 I send the emails, but then the recipient doesn't read them

Or just reads the first sentence until shiny object syndrome kicks in. I've learned to cram the gist of my message into the first sentence.
Posted by: Notorious BFD at July 21, 2017 06:53 PM (Tyii7)


You have to do the same thing at the doctor's office.

Posted by: Ace's liver at July 21, 2017 06:56 PM (Xuv2G)

391 I get all these infections on my eyebrow peiecings, and when its hot the sweat mixes with the slightly purulent fuid oozing out, and it kind of runs down my face and drips off the angle of my jaw and nakes this stain on my shirt. I mean, I'm fine with that but people who are always staring at it? Its rude, guys! My pus, my problem!!!

Posted by: Alcoholic Asshole Shut In at July 21, 2017 06:56 PM (fMBcz)

392 318 Don't have a visitor's chair.

Posted by: Bill sometimes Bill formerly from Canada at July 21, 2017 06:56 PM (JQ5d4)

393 Traffic Circles

Posted by: garrett at July 21, 2017 06:56 PM (beJsD)

394 370 I hate it when I have to poop after getting out of the shower.

Posted by: Banana Splits Guy at July 21, 2017 06:53 PM (RrhD2)


Then maybe you should poop *in* the shower.

Posted by: OregonMuse, AoSHQ Thought Leader at July 21, 2017 06:56 PM (OiLIO)

395 oversold Twitchy headlines

Posted by: The Original REAL Galactic Lord Sir Covfefe at July 21, 2017 06:56 PM (nFwvY)

396 Hi Carol.

How are those roses growing?

Posted by: L, Elle at July 21, 2017 06:57 PM (8mOxN)

397 I hate it that when I was in college school all the chicks had hairy armpits and well, you know...

Posted by: wth at July 21, 2017 06:57 PM (HgMAr)

398 Bill Nye.

Posted by: OregonMuse, AoSHQ Thought Leader at July 21, 2017 06:57 PM (OiLIO)

399 Not that I ever lose the attention of a group of people when telling a story, but when I do, I just change the story to be wildly inappropriate to test if anyone is still listening.
Posted by: TexasDan at July 21, 2017 06:32 PM (yL25O)

I hate when my husband tunes me out and I weave you're a big homo into the story to see if he's listening.

Posted by: CaliGirl at July 21, 2017 06:57 PM (Ri/rl)

400 Not to stomp on the shenanigans, but the chief of police in Minneapolis resigned.

Something is going on behind the scenes. They'll probably make one of the other Somali cops the new chief.

Posted by: Dack Thrombosis at July 21, 2017 06:57 PM (4ErVI)

401 Tourists. They descend on your town and try to take it over like they own the place.

Go home.

Posted by: JackStraw at July 21, 2017 06:57 PM (/tuJf)

402 Buying an ice cream cone and they hand you the fucking cone before you have a chance to use both of your free hands to open your wallet and pay. Put it down you sucker of satan's barbed cock.

Posted by: Citation X Driver at July 21, 2017 06:57 PM (ABJy3)

403 People who poop in the shower.

Posted by: Deplorable Redneck Bitter Clinger at July 21, 2017 06:57 PM (MCEs2)

404 368 People who get into the passing lane then pace the car on their right.
-----

I feel like we are of one mind.

Posted by: Bicentennialguy at July 21, 2017 06:57 PM (nILVB)

405 People who don't read e-mails thoroughly and reply something like, "Yes, I can meet on Tuesday morning"
Uhh-"Did you not read the e-mail. I sent? Tuesday morning is the only morning I said I could NOT meet."

Posted by: FenelonSpoke at July 21, 2017 06:58 PM (iVOAv)

406 Woman spit in the street? That's disgusting. If you must, and sometimes if you're sick, you may have to, use a tissue and put in your pocket,.

I have tissues in one jacket pocket and the other pocket is for trash, etc from used tissues. I empty at any trash can I find.

Posted by: Carol at July 21, 2017 06:58 PM (NKOy9)

407 Am I the only guy on this blog with a good marriage?

Posted by: OregonMuse, AoSHQ Thought Leader at July 21, 2017 06:47 PM (OiLIO

---

Marriage is fun, but I had just always figured the penny jar thing was a joke. Then it's like the dude offering Neo the blue and red Nyquils.

Posted by: Hate Has No Homo at July 21, 2017 06:58 PM (psH+N)

408 I hate people that apply makeup or text on the freeway.


Friend's mom hit a bump backing out of her driveway...jammed her lipstick up her nostril.

Posted by: BignJames at July 21, 2017 06:58 PM (x9c8r)

409 I lerned a lott in college school

Posted by: wth at July 21, 2017 06:58 PM (HgMAr)

410 I hate when I'm ramming a Senator's wife with my comically large penis and it breaks through her pelvis and then through the top of her skull and then I have to call the Secret Service and say "It's happened again."

Posted by: Dick Cheney, Destroyer of Mish at July 21, 2017 06:58 PM (8rNrN)

411 People that say 'standing ON line.' Shouldn't it be 'standing IN line?' I tend to think the former is a NY thing.

Posted by: Citation X Driver at July 21, 2017 06:58 PM (ABJy3)

412 I hate that I will never be President of the United States.

**hic**

Posted by: Hillary! at July 21, 2017 06:58 PM (jZgTE)

413 I hate having to poop while taking a shower and it won't wait. A terrible way to start off the day.

Posted by: Widespread Pepe at July 21, 2017 06:58 PM (2qHjF)

414 Left-turning drivers who sit at a traffic intersection without entering the intersection while the light is green, waiting on oncoming traffic to clear...just sit there until the light turns red. Rinse, repeat

Posted by: Mike Hammer, etc., etc. at July 21, 2017 06:58 PM (OdK9v)

415 I hate people that apply makeup or text on the freeway.

Text is a poor substitute for makeup.

Posted by: Cicero (@cicero) at July 21, 2017 06:59 PM (Mouru)

416 Barnes and Noble doing away with the "New Releases" section in the Science Fiction & Fantasy section.

Posted by: motionview at July 21, 2017 06:59 PM (pYQR/)

417 394 370 I hate it when I have to poop after getting out of the shower.

Posted by: Banana Splits Guy at July 21, 2017 06:53 PM (RrhD2)


Never heard of waffle stomping?

Posted by: CSMBigBird at July 21, 2017 06:59 PM (xInes)

418
Friend's mom hit a bump backing out of her driveway...jammed her lipstick up her nostril.

And the "bump" turned out to be your friend.

Posted by: Soothsayer --Digitally Remastered at July 21, 2017 06:59 PM (qbQhu)

419 Traffic Circles


Posted by: garrett at July 21, 2017 06:56 PM (beJsD)

Crop circles

Posted by: wth at July 21, 2017 06:59 PM (HgMAr)

420 The fact that Yoko isn't appreciated more deeply around here.

Posted by: Transgalactic Yoko Ono Appreciation Society, AoSHQ Colony at July 21, 2017 06:59 PM (DMUuz)

421 The shrinking of clothing sizes.
Seriously, found some 20 something y.o. t-shirts in the back of a closet. Size L, same size or bigger than current XLs

Posted by: random lurker commenter at July 21, 2017 07:00 PM (/ocGl)

422 Drum circles

Posted by: Cicero (@cicero) at July 21, 2017 07:00 PM (Mouru)

423
Truckers who attempt to pass another truck, going uphill and with a speed differential of .0002MPH. They should be shot on sight.


As a retired truck driver who is guilty of that henious offense I will tell you if you're running with a heavy load uphill you can't afford to lose the speed coming up behind the slower moving truck.Live with it, it's your crappy merchindise we're haulin.

Posted by: Deplorable Male Logic at July 21, 2017 07:00 PM (lKyWE)

424 Overweight young people on bicycle machines at the fitness center who desultorily pedal...pedal...pedal...pedal...away at about 5 pounds of resistance while staring slack-jawed and glassy-eyed into their iPhones.
You ain't foolin' anybody but yourself, tubby.

Posted by: jbspry at July 21, 2017 07:00 PM (YNPwP)

425 I hate it when I'm in Australia and all these assholes are driving on the wrong side of the road.

Posted by: wth at July 21, 2017 07:00 PM (HgMAr)

426 Folks who don't understand that traffic should work like a zipper.

Posted by: Hate Has No Homo at July 21, 2017 07:00 PM (psH+N)

427 I hate that you walk into starbucks for a fucking coffee and are confronted with the new Diana Krall album, like you know who that is or could possibly want that with your coffee.

You just brought up a memory that made me cringe. I was dating this nice Catholic woman and her birthday was coming up. She already had everything I could think of to buy her. I was in Starbucks and I bought her a couple of CDs. She seemed to accept them happily, but then a couple of weeks later she confronts me by noting the two CDs are on sale at Starbucks and she doesn't know how to interpret what seems like a thoughtless gift.

I didn't come out of that conversation well because she was right. It was a thoughtless gift, although I did eliminate a lot of other more thoughtful gifts because, again, she already had those.

Posted by: bonhomme at July 21, 2017 07:00 PM (jhqr1)

428 I hate when you go to the ER with a bottle stuck in your rectum, and even though they say they believe your story about slipping and falling on it, you know they don't.

Posted by: Ace's liver at July 21, 2017 07:01 PM (Xuv2G)

429 Men who drink only light and ultra light beer. Pathetic.

Posted by: Widespread Pepe at July 21, 2017 07:01 PM (2qHjF)

430 Blog quirks I like:

The person that says thank you incorrectly by wrong attribution.

Example: Thanks for the quality ONT, CD-R M
When it was Mis Hum that wrote it

I
Like

Posted by: L, Elle at July 21, 2017 07:01 PM (Rsi2C)

431 Why can't the Hoboken Trader Joe's keep the store stocked? I get that they might be out of 1-2 items on my list, but 6-8? The freezer aisle frequently looks like a Soviet grocery store, circa 1977. On top of not stocking their shelves, they like to get random customers trapped in the glass elevator, like that poor lady with a toddler, the other day.

Seriously, they need to get their shit together there.

Posted by: JuJuBee at July 21, 2017 07:01 PM (2NqXo)

432 Something that's about to be a major annoyance: RAGBRAI. Our town is the jumping-off point Sunday morning, and they've already blocked off the downtown streets close to our house. Thank goodness our house is actually on a blacktop, so they can't close it down or the farmers and livestock drivers would riot in the streets. I still can't believe they're bringing in tubs of Missouri River water so the cyclists can dip their back tires (front wheel goes in the Mississippi).

Posted by: pookysgirl is battening down the hatches at July 21, 2017 07:01 PM (XKZwp)

433 The 318 pound black woman in front of me at the grocery store with 4
cases of Mountain Dew, a shopping cart full of groceries including the
family pack of ribeye steaks who whips out the EBT card and then pays
cash for her carton of Newports, pack of Swisher Sweets and 2 bottles of
malt liquor.



Posted by: Malcolm Tent at July 21, 2017 06:54 PM (Kd2ow)

And then wheels it out to the parking lot and loads up the Escalade.

Posted by: tu3031 at July 21, 2017 07:01 PM (qJhUV)

434
My biggest "bane" is PEOPLE ON TV & MOVIES EATING CHINESE FOOD WITH CHOPSTICKS.


NOBODY does this in real life, Hollywood Jerkoffs.

Posted by: Soothsayer --Digitally Remastered at July 21, 2017 07:01 PM (qbQhu)

435 Barnes and Noble doing away with the "New Releases" section in the Science Fiction & Fantasy section

Barnes and Noble virtue signalling by showcasing SJW crap on a "close the book on hate" shelf. This was done in Houston when I was there btw, not Boulder.

Posted by: boulder terlit hobo at July 21, 2017 07:02 PM (6FqZa)

436 People who misuse apostrophe's.

Posted by: WitchDoktor, AKA VA GOP Sucks at July 21, 2017 07:02 PM (2VN2E)

437 The continual onslaught of KY jelly and Viagra commercials on during the ballgame I'm trying to watch with my 10 year old daughter.

Posted by: Malcolm Tent at July 21, 2017 07:02 PM (Kd2ow)

438 People who instead of saying for instance, "Ive been going there since I was 12," say "I've been going there since I'm 12."

Posted by: Bicentennialguy at July 21, 2017 07:02 PM (nILVB)

439 Fat people who order diet cokes.
Who the fu*k do you think your fooling???

Posted by: Diogenes at July 21, 2017 07:02 PM (0tfLf)

440 People on line in front who start digging for money and coupons after they are rung up as though they're surprised they have to pay for their shit.

Posted by: Biggie Rat at July 21, 2017 07:02 PM (ulnsz)

441 Am I the only guy on this blog with a good marriage?

Posted by: OregonMuse, AoSHQ Thought Leader
________

Had you asked that question a year ago, I'd have said No, OM, my marriage is good, too!

That would have been my honest answer, and I'd have been wrong.

Posted by: FireHorse at July 21, 2017 07:02 PM (zkGZ8)

442 402 Buying an ice cream cone and they hand you the fucking cone before you have a chance to use both of your free hands to open your wallet and pay. Put it down you sucker of satan's barbed cock.
Posted by: Citation X Driver at July 21, 2017 06:57 PM (ABJy3)

I hate that I can't afford a fancy jet.

Posted by: CaliGirl at July 21, 2017 07:02 PM (Ri/rl)

443 Stupid corporate catch-lines that always start with 'verbing' but are themselves meaningless sentence fragments.

And bizarre corporate names ending in -ent.

Posted by: Your Decidedly Devious Uncle Palpatine. All Honor & Glory to Kekistan! at July 21, 2017 07:02 PM (fA1SL)

444 People who have to think they are the smartest person in the room. or that they know as much as the smartest person in the room, or are a friend to the smartest person in the room.

(Sorry; Irritation at narrcissism is not a minor complaint)

Posted by: FenelonSpoke at July 21, 2017 07:02 PM (iVOAv)

445
Simian cobs.

Posted by: Hadrian the Seventh at July 21, 2017 07:02 PM (RZXSp)

446 Am I the only guy on this blog with a good marriage?

Posted by: OregonMuse, AoSHQ Thought Leader at July 21, 2017 06:47 PM (OiLIO
............

You're the only one who paid attention to all our marriage advice.

Posted by: wth at July 21, 2017 07:02 PM (HgMAr)

447 Penguin have released Reed's communist slobberfest "Ten Days That Shook The World" as one of their works of classic literature. Ugh.

Posted by: boulder terlit hobo at July 21, 2017 07:02 PM (6FqZa)

448 Store Clerks who say - "We don't have it but we can order it."

Posted by: garrett at July 21, 2017 07:02 PM (beJsD)

449 And as we discussed yesterday, that food stamp recipients can give $10 and get faster internet service than the majority of rural Americans paying $40+ each month.

Posted by: Hate Has No Homo at July 21, 2017 07:03 PM (psH+N)

450 438 People who instead of saying for instance, "Ive been going there since I was 12," say "I've been going there since I'm 12."
Posted by: Bicentennialguy at July 21, 2017 07:02 PM (nILVB)

I hate when people say I seen him, instead of I saw him. Drives me crazy.

Posted by: CaliGirl at July 21, 2017 07:03 PM (Ri/rl)

451 Canned laughter.

Sometimes it's so canned I start recognizing some of the people.

Posted by: AnonymousDrivel at July 21, 2017 07:03 PM (H8S+R)

452 444 People who have to think they are the smartest person in the room. or that they know as much as the smartest person in the room, or are a friend to the smartest person in the room.

(Sorry; Irritation at narrcissism is not a minor complaint)

Posted by: FenelonSpoke at July 21, 2017 07:02 PM (iVOAv)

Yeah... those people are really annoying to those of us who ARE the smartest person in the room...

/smile

Posted by: Don Quixote, Historic Fencer... at July 21, 2017 07:03 PM (NgKpN)

453 407 Am I the only guy on this blog with a good marriage?

Posted by: OregonMuse, AoSHQ Thought Leader at July 21, 2017 06:47 PM (OiLIO

Must be a generational thing.

Posted by: Insomniac, Professional Nobody at July 21, 2017 07:03 PM (0mRoj)

454 Whiskey dick.

Posted by: flyover at July 21, 2017 07:04 PM (aUHJk)

455 People

Posted by: garrett at July 21, 2017 07:04 PM (beJsD)

456 I hate when the grocery store checker comments on your purchases. Spaghetti tonight?

Posted by: CaliGirl at July 21, 2017 07:04 PM (Ri/rl)

457 Johnson answered, striking his foot with mighty force against a large stone, till he rebounded from it -- "I refute it thus."

-
And "Get me to a doctor! I need leeches! Lots of leeches!!"

Posted by: I'm Anonosaurus Wrecks and I approved this message at July 21, 2017 07:04 PM (Nwg0u)

458 >>The shrinking of clothing sizes.

That and the fact that sizes appear to be totally random now. Bought a couple pairs of shorts this spring, exactly the same. Tried on one pair and it fit and bought both. When I put the second pair on at home it was like a size smaller.

Are they just making clothes randomly now?

Posted by: JackStraw at July 21, 2017 07:04 PM (/tuJf)

459 People that use "seen" after "I" rather than "saw." I have a coworker that does it. That is truly a minor complaint though.

Posted by: buzzion at July 21, 2017 07:04 PM (z/Ubi)

460 Almost every single thing has a safety cap. Why? I can't open even with two separate openers I have to help. Eye drops? What parent is going to let their kid play with eyedrops or leave them so that kid can reach them? Listerine is another one. I used to like Crest but used too much. I switched to Listerine diluted and I use much less and it saves me money.

Posted by: Carol at July 21, 2017 07:04 PM (NKOy9)

461 Another idiotic thing is batters rushing the pitcher's mound when a pitch comes too close to them.

Shithead, your JOB is stand there and let baseballs come whizzing at you at 90 mph.
Posted by: Soothsayer --Digitally Remastered at July 21, 2017 06:53 PM (qbQhu)



OK, how about this one: MLB players who cannot !@#$%^^& bunt? What's the problem, couldn't get time off from your day job to practice this?

Hell, Stephen Hawking can bunt!

Posted by: Deplorable Jay Guevara at July 21, 2017 07:04 PM (SRKgf)

462 That HPV vaccine commercial that has children blaming their parents for getting cancer because they were vaccinated against an STD when they were 11.

Posted by: motionview at July 21, 2017 07:04 PM (pYQR/)

463 , it's your crappy merchandise we're haulin.
Posted by: Deplorable Male Logic
------------

Crappy merchandise.

Posted by: Mike Hammer, etc., etc. at July 21, 2017 07:05 PM (OdK9v)

464 453 407 Am I the only guy on this blog with a good marriage?

Posted by: OregonMuse, AoSHQ Thought Leader at July 21, 2017 06:47 PM (OiLIO

I'm happily married but I'm a chick, so maybe that doesn't answer your question.

Posted by: CaliGirl at July 21, 2017 07:05 PM (Ri/rl)

465

My Bane is when people don't acknowledge my Bane Thread idea.

Posted by: Soothsayer --Digitally Remastered at July 21, 2017 07:05 PM (qbQhu)

466
No one abuses handicapped parking. It's like voter fraud: nonexistent.

Posted by: Hadrian the Seventh at July 21, 2017 07:05 PM (RZXSp)

467 Watching a movie from India and the screen freezes up
half way through the film. DVDS from India are not the highest quality.* Also the packaging says English subtitles-
and there are no subtitles.



* I know -RACIST!

Posted by: Glenn John at July 21, 2017 07:05 PM (LilNs)

468 Parents who allow their underage daughters to dress like street walkers and pornstars.... The parents who allow this while with their daughters in public belong behind razor wire.

Posted by: Widespread Pepe at July 21, 2017 07:05 PM (2qHjF)

469 We need a post / thread now about things that offset man buns, virtue signaling, distracted drivers, bee stings, Somalian pirates (and police chiefs...

Posted by: Winston at July 21, 2017 07:05 PM (mgpkf)

470 Google recaptcha makes me want to uppercut somebody.

Posted by: goodluckduck at July 21, 2017 07:05 PM (rwaEp)

471 Those yammering baboons the networks hire for the good morning news shows

Posted by: Cicero (@cicero) at July 21, 2017 07:05 PM (Mouru)

472
Want to know what chaps my hairy ass?

Assless pants!

Posted by: Bertram Cabot, Jr. at July 21, 2017 07:05 PM (IqV8l)

473 When the rubber comes off then adheres to your intestinal wall, causing a blockage.

Posted by: Shep! at July 21, 2017 07:05 PM (nILVB)

474 The annoying "fans" at sporting events who have to loudly and constantly proclaim their opinions as to what's happening on the field/ice/playing surface because everyone around them deserves to hear their profound thoughts. And quite often they've never actually played the sport themselves.

Posted by: Vendette at July 21, 2017 07:06 PM (ZZo2I)

475 >>>448 Store Clerks who say - "We don't have it but we can order it."

Cool -- like the Old West. Order me up some henscratch and sasparilla while you're at the telegraph office, if you woild.

Posted by: ace at July 21, 2017 07:06 PM (8rNrN)

476 434


"My biggest "bane" is PEOPLE ON TV MOVIES EATING CHINESE FOOD WITH CHOPSTICKS.





NOBODY does this in real life, Hollywood Jerkoffs."

Posted by: Soothsayer --Digitally Remastered

I had a Japanese gf who made me eat with chop sticks so I dumped her.

I miss her a lot when I'm horny.

Posted by: Skunky Choom at July 21, 2017 07:06 PM (aNGAc)

477 People who say "whenever" instead of "when". Southern thing.

Posted by: RokShox at July 21, 2017 07:06 PM (yehh7)

478 People who don't use Oxford Commas.

Posted by: Jeff Weimer at July 21, 2017 07:06 PM (17QyB)

479 Ahh=safety caps that you can't push and turn at the same time and someone has to help you open the darn bottle. I hate those. I am NOT going to OD on Aleve PM and i am not a toddler.

Posted by: FenelonSpoke at July 21, 2017 07:06 PM (iVOAv)

480 448 Store Clerks who say - "We don't have it but we can order it."

Posted by: garrett at July 21, 2017 07:02 PM (beJsD)


Argh! This! If I wanted to order it I never woulda showed up at your stupid store!

Posted by: Ace's liver at July 21, 2017 07:06 PM (Xuv2G)

481 Whiskey dick.

Posted by: flyover at July 21, 2017 07:04 PM (aUHJk)
..........

Coke weenie.

Posted by: wth at July 21, 2017 07:06 PM (HgMAr)

482 459 People that use "seen" after "I" rather than "saw." I have a coworker that does it. That is truly a minor complaint though.
Posted by: buzzion at July 21, 2017 07:04 PM (z/Ubi)

It drives me insane. But it would be rude to correct an adult, though I'm tempted.

Posted by: CaliGirl at July 21, 2017 07:06 PM (Ri/rl)

483 Strangers that are either unattractive or dumb and feel they have a license to touch you without an invitation.

Example: Huggers and hand holders who feel a need to

Posted by: L, Elle at July 21, 2017 07:06 PM (Rsi2C)

484 People who believe they can and should have deep religious discussions about The Gay on a website populated by Morons named dildo and masturbatin', and then get angry and insulting when the Morons are immediately bored.

Posted by: Hate Has No Homo at July 21, 2017 07:06 PM (psH+N)

485 That and the fact that sizes appear to be totally
random now. Bought a couple pairs of shorts this spring, exactly the
same. Tried on one pair and it fit and bought both. When I put the
second pair on at home it was like a size smaller.



Are they just making clothes randomly now?

Posted by: JackStraw at July 21, 2017 07:04 PM (/tuJf)

A sales clerk a some store I was in told me that the reason that two of the same piece clothing or the same size don't fit the same is because when they're cutting the pattern at the factory, the material slips a bit, thereby making one the 'correct size' and others well, not.

Posted by: Tami, Public Ineffectual at July 21, 2017 07:06 PM (Enq6K)

486 #470 In the FACE....

Posted by: Winston at July 21, 2017 07:06 PM (mgpkf)

487 460 Almost every single thing has a safety cap. Why? I can't open even with two separate openers I have to help. Eye drops? What parent is going to let their kid play with eyedrops or leave them so that kid can reach them? Listerine is another one. I used to like Crest but used too much. I switched to Listerine diluted and I use much less and it saves me money.
Posted by: Carol at July 21, 2017 07:04 PM (NKOy9)



Oooh, those new "safety" gas cans!

WTF? It takes half an hour to open them, then you have to channel a "Transformers" movie to get the goddamned thing to pour gasoline, then you have to undo all of this. By the time you finish, the lawn REALLY needs mowing.

Posted by: Deplorable Jay Guevara at July 21, 2017 07:06 PM (SRKgf)

488 That would have been my honest answer, and I'd have been wrong.
Posted by: FireHorse at July 21, 2017 07:02 PM (zkGZ


I'm sorry to hear this.

Posted by: OregonMuse, AoSHQ Thought Leader at July 21, 2017 07:06 PM (OiLIO)

489 Yoko!

Posted by: Paul McCartney at July 21, 2017 07:07 PM (NKOy9)

490 Beer snobs.

Yeah yeah, bavarian barley boy. We get it. You've got extra virgin toasted hops stuck up your ass and you piss lemon zest.

It's beer. Fuck off.

Posted by: weirdflunky at July 21, 2017 07:07 PM (dh85b)

491 ace: "You don't want to finish it, but you'd feel pretty stupid if you just trailed off and stopped speaking mid-sentence."

I think the proper etiquette here is to say "POTATO SALAD" and shift your feet a bit.

Posted by: AnonymousDrivel at July 21, 2017 07:07 PM (H8S+R)

492 I think it's funny that they have condoms and KY behind bulletproof clear plastic at drug stores. I guess they get pilfered by shy people or whatever, but it's so weird to see $12 items under lock and key like they're diamonds.

Same with some of the Benadryl type stuff.

Posted by: ace at July 21, 2017 07:07 PM (8rNrN)

493 My biggest "bane" is PEOPLE ON TV MOVIES EATING CHINESE FOOD WITH CHOPSTICKS.


NOBODY does this in real life, Hollywood Jerkoffs.

Posted by: Soothsayer --Digitally Remastered at July 21, 2017 07:01 PM (qbQhu)


We eat with chopsticks, but that's mainly because we've spent a lot of time in Japan, and it really can be quite efficient.

Posted by: pookysgirl is battening down the hatches at July 21, 2017 07:07 PM (XKZwp)

494 How come some Harley bikes that are so loud don't get pulled over?

Loud pipes save lives. Can't let the dead sleep.

Posted by: CrotchetyOldJarhead at July 21, 2017 07:07 PM (pDZCs)

495 Cars with a COEXIST bumper sticker. What's that even mean?

Posted by: Winston at July 21, 2017 07:07 PM (mgpkf)

496 Schrodinger's Dong: you have to accept that your fly is both open and closed at the same time until you check.

Posted by: andycanuck #CNNisISIS at July 21, 2017 07:07 PM (nlbfN)

497 Zipper? I hardly *know* her!

Posted by: Corndog at July 21, 2017 07:07 PM (p3eEq)

498 "I could care less" means you do care.

"I couldn't care less" means you don't care.



Posted by: JuJuBee at July 21, 2017 07:07 PM (2NqXo)

499 I'm happily married but I'm a chick, so maybe that doesn't answer your question.
Posted by: CaliGirl at July 21, 2017 07:05 PM (Ri/rl)


Good.

I know a lot of the 'ettes are happily married. The 'rons, apparently not so much.

Posted by: OregonMuse, AoSHQ Thought Leader at July 21, 2017 07:07 PM (OiLIO)

500 456. "....and then the clerk said, 'No, it's because you're fvcking ugly.'"

Posted by: Your Decidedly Devious Uncle Palpatine. All Honor & Glory to Kekistan! at July 21, 2017 07:07 PM (fA1SL)

501 Blackberry vines minor? They're trying to cover the shed and fence again. I need Crossbox before they make it illegal.

Posted by: Notsothoreau at July 21, 2017 07:07 PM (Lqy/e)

502 Hmm, so an anonymous somebody in the Navy is saying that the crew of the Fitzgerald was probably at fault:

http://preview.tinyurl.com/yby7ft9n

Posted by: Skookumchuk at July 21, 2017 07:07 PM (8NWHh)

503 Recipes calling for a 1/3rd or 2/3rds of a cup.

Stick to 1/4s, 1/2s or cups.

Posted by: Malcolm Tent at July 21, 2017 07:08 PM (Kd2ow)

504 As I like to say, marriage is so your shitty day doesn't have to end at work.

Posted by: WitchDoktor, AKA VA GOP Sucks at July 21, 2017 07:08 PM (2VN2E)

505 I can't stand when I get myself all revved up for a good porno, then finish before the end. If I wanted prematurity, I'd have sex in real life!

Posted by: Wyatt Earp at July 21, 2017 07:08 PM (bkUtD)

506 People who don't close their HTML tags.

Posted by: Insomniac, Professional Nobody at July 21, 2017 07:08 PM (0mRoj)

507 And luckily, my hashtag saves the day; although doesn't save CO Jarhead a trip to the barrel.

Posted by: andycanuck #CNNisISIS at July 21, 2017 07:08 PM (nlbfN)

508 Plastic packaging that needs a chainsaw to open.

Posted by: Hadrian the Seventh at July 21, 2017 07:08 PM (RZXSp)

509 Umm, what's with you people?

I eat Chinese and Japanese food with chopsticks. I use them incorrectly and proudly

Posted by: L, Elle at July 21, 2017 07:08 PM (Rsi2C)

510
I had a dog pee on a bag of groceries I had set down once

Posted by: Deplorable Male Logic at July 21, 2017 07:08 PM (lKyWE)

511 Classic rock radio that has to cleanse the lyrics of the songs they play. "That little ... is a millionaire."

Posted by: FireHorse at July 21, 2017 07:08 PM (zkGZ8)

512 493. Seconded.

Posted by: Your Decidedly Devious Uncle Palpatine. All Honor & Glory to Kekistan! at July 21, 2017 07:08 PM (fA1SL)

513 FML

Posted by: CrotchetyOldJarhead at July 21, 2017 07:08 PM (pDZCs)

514 Ace,
They lock up women's razor blade refills, but not the razors? It makes no sense.

Posted by: Carol at July 21, 2017 07:08 PM (NKOy9)

515 People that pepper their speech with "smart" words, but are using them wrong.

No, that sentence didn't need a "per se", at all.

Posted by: bonhomme at July 21, 2017 07:08 PM (jhqr1)

516 You just brought up a memory that made me cringe. I was dating this nice Catholic woman and her birthday was coming up. She already had everything I could think of to buy her. I was in Starbucks and I bought her a couple of CDs. She seemed to accept them happily, but then a couple of weeks later she confronts me by noting the two CDs are on sale at Starbucks and she doesn't know how to interpret what seems like a thoughtless gift.

I didn't come out of that conversation well because she was right. It was a thoughtless gift, although I did eliminate a lot of other more thoughtful gifts because, again, she already had those.
Posted by: bonhomme at July 21, 2017 07:00 PM (jhqr1)

No it wasn't, you saw it and thought of her. Nobody should put a price on gifts.

Posted by: Patrick From Ohio at July 21, 2017 07:09 PM (dKiJG)

517 I hate hating haters that hate haters of haters that hate hate. The fucking fucks.

Posted by: Corndog at July 21, 2017 07:09 PM (p3eEq)

518 470 Google recaptcha makes me want to uppercut somebody.

Posted by: goodluckduck at July 21, 2017 07:05 PM (rwaEp)

---

No joke, it's apparently monitoring the cursor movement. If you're an experienced computer user you'll get caught every time. Act like someone who is just learning to use the mouse and you won't have to choose the correct photos nearly as often.

Posted by: Hate Has No Homo at July 21, 2017 07:09 PM (psH+N)

519 I hate when the grocery store checker comments on your purchases. Spaghetti tonight?

Posted by: CaliGirl at July 21, 2017 07:04 PM (Ri/rl)
...............

I always say: "No, that's tomorrow. Tonight is Drano soup and Irish Spring sandwiches."

Posted by: wth at July 21, 2017 07:09 PM (HgMAr)

520 >>> Yeah yeah, bavarian barley boy. We get it. You've got extra virgin toasted hops stuck up your ass and you piss lemon zest.

It's beer. Fuck off.

Posted by: fluffy at July 21, 2017 07:09 PM (jw2Xw)

521
"My biggest "bane" is PEOPLE ON TV MOVIES EATING CHINESE FOOD WITH CHOPSTICKS.





NOBODY does this in real life, Hollywood Jerkoffs."

Posted by: Soothsayer --Digitally Remastered

I had a Japanese gf who made me eat with chop sticks so I dumped her.

I miss her a lot when I'm horny.
Posted by: Skunky Choom at July 21, 2017 07:06 PM (aNGAc)

I learned to eat with Chopsticks over seas... because Chinese Waiters thought it was FUNNY to only bring you Sticks... so they could laugh at you as your tried to eat...

Posted by: Don Quixote, Retired Sailor... at July 21, 2017 07:09 PM (NgKpN)

522 >>Almost every single thing has a safety cap.

My favorite is the safety cap on aspirin. Yes, this is exactly what every person in pain wants, to try and solve the puzzle of your new "safety" cap.

I'm convinced they are laughing their asses off at Big Aspirin over this.

Posted by: JackStraw at July 21, 2017 07:09 PM (/tuJf)

523 499 I'm happily married but I'm a chick, so maybe that doesn't answer your question.
Posted by: CaliGirl at July 21, 2017 07:05 PM (Ri/rl)

Good.

I know a lot of the 'ettes are happily married. The 'rons, apparently not so much.
Posted by: OregonMuse, AoSHQ Thought Leader at July 21, 2017 07:07 PM (OiLIO)

*****

42 years with Mrs Diogenes.

And I still get annoyed when she asks "you're not wearing that are you?"

Posted by: Diogenes at July 21, 2017 07:09 PM (0tfLf)

524
Plastic packaging that needs a chainsaw to open.

Thank shoplifters for that. Assholes.

Posted by: andycanuck #CNNisISIS at July 21, 2017 07:10 PM (nlbfN)

525 People who put ketchup on a hot dog.

Posted by: Wyatt Earp at July 21, 2017 07:10 PM (bkUtD)

526 This used to annoy me until I came to love it. It's a southern thing.

Ordering a soda.

"What'll you have to drink?"

"Coke"

"What kind?"

"Orange drink."

Posted by: WitchDoktor, AKA VA GOP Sucks at July 21, 2017 07:10 PM (2VN2E)

527 I eat Chinese and Japanese food with chopsticks. I use them incorrectly and proudly
Posted by: L, Elle at July 21, 2017 07:08 PM (Rsi2C)


I find that some food actually works better with chopsticks. You know, a little messy for finger food but not quite substantial enough for a fork. A lot of that happens to be Asian food.

It's a hell of a coincidence, I think.

Posted by: Cicero (@cicero) at July 21, 2017 07:10 PM (Mouru)

528 482 459 People that use "seen" after "I" rather than "saw." I have a coworker that does it. That is truly a minor complaint though.
Posted by: buzzion at July 21, 2017 07:04 PM (z/Ubi)

It drives me insane. But it would be rude to correct an adult, though I'm tempted.
Posted by: CaliGirl at July 21, 2017 07:06 PM (Ri/rl)


Someone who worked for me did both the "whenever" and "I seen" thing, as in "Whenever I went to the store yesterday I seen my neighbor."

I eventually fired her (for something else, though).

Posted by: Ace's liver at July 21, 2017 07:10 PM (Xuv2G)

529 Here's a shout out to everyone looking to better their employment situation:

"We've decided to hire from within"

or

"We've decided not to fill that position"

or

resumes into the dark void.


Posted by: shibumi at July 21, 2017 07:10 PM (aT+Bx)

530 People - generally airhead millennials - ending sentences with 'right?'

Bitch, if you're not sure of what you're saying, why should I be?

(Kasparian and Sarkeesian are guilty of this, among many other affronts to sanity and decency.)

Posted by: Your Decidedly Devious Uncle Palpatine. All Honor & Glory to Kekistan! at July 21, 2017 07:10 PM (fA1SL)

531 Guys who put ketchup on their penis.

Posted by: Wyatt Earp at July 21, 2017 07:11 PM (bkUtD)

532 484
"People who believe they can and should have deep religious discussions
about The Gay on a website populated by Morons named dildo and
masturbatin', and then get angry and insulting when the Morons are
immediately bored."

Posted by: Hate Has No Homo

Which brings up another pet peeve of mine - the faggot whose entire accomplishment is that he's a faggot. He's not a doctor who happens to be gay. He has to be The GAY Doctor or at the very least let everyone know that he's gay and that is the most interesting thing about him.

Posted by: Skunky Choom at July 21, 2017 07:11 PM (aNGAc)

533 I can't begin to count how many ambulances I've seen with the sirens directed behind them.

Posted by: Hate Has No Homo at July 21, 2017 07:11 PM (psH+N)

534 425 I hate it when I'm in Australia and all these assholes are driving on the wrong side of the road.

Posted by: wth at July 21, 2017 07:00 PM (HgMAr)

Ireland sucks too.

Posted by: Matthew Broderick at July 21, 2017 07:11 PM (4ErVI)

535 Cars with a COEXIST bumper sticker. What's that even mean?

Posted by: Winston at July 21, 2017 07:07 PM (mgpkf)
.........

I think it means they want to get rear ended, like both cars can occupy the same space?

Posted by: wth at July 21, 2017 07:11 PM (HgMAr)

536 530 People - generally airhead millennials - ending sentences with 'right?'

I know, right?

Posted by: Wyatt Earp at July 21, 2017 07:11 PM (bkUtD)

537 Superfluous "at"s.

As in, "Where did you get that at?"

Or "Where is the dog at?"

Posted by: Malcolm Tent at July 21, 2017 07:11 PM (Kd2ow)

538 202,
"Ummmm.....



Can we have a What Is Your Bane? thread?



My "bane" is hard-boiled eggs that are a pain in the ass to peel.



Posted by: Soothsayer -- Fake Commenter at July 17, 2017 07:54 PM
"


Easy peel hard boiled eggs.

http://tinyurl.com/mljapo9

Posted by: geoffb5 at July 21, 2017 07:11 PM (d3wbb)

539 We eat with chopsticks, but that's mainly because we've spent a lot of time in Japan, and it really can be quite efficient.

I should buy some chopsticks for my salad. When you get to the bottom and the last several leaves are right against the plate, you end up stabbing them several times with your fork. *stab* drop *stab* drop

Chopsticks just grab the lettuce.

Posted by: bonhomme at July 21, 2017 07:11 PM (jhqr1)

540 Behind someone at the track who doesn't now how to bet with less than a minute before post time. Agita.

Posted by: Winston at July 21, 2017 07:11 PM (mgpkf)

541 You're all so troubled. So many grievances and pent up frustrations.
Glad I'm not like that.

Posted by: L, Elle at July 21, 2017 07:12 PM (Rsi2C)

542 Plastic packaging that needs a chainsaw to open.
Thank shoplifters for that. Assholes.


Posted by: andycanuck #CNNisISIS at July 21, 2017 07:10 PM (nlbfN)

OMG! Yes! It's getting worse too.

Posted by: Tami, Public Ineffectual at July 21, 2017 07:12 PM (Enq6K)

543 485 That and the fact that sizes appear to be totally
random now. Bought a couple pairs of shorts this spring, exactly the
same. Tried on one pair and it fit and bought both. When I put the
second pair on at home it was like a size smaller.



Are they just making clothes randomly now?

Posted by: JackStraw at July 21, 2017 07:04 PM (/tuJf)

A sales clerk a some store I was in told me that the reason that two of the same piece clothing or the same size don't fit the same is because when they're cutting the pattern at the factory, the material slips a bit, thereby making one the 'correct size' and others well, not.
Posted by: Tami, Public Ineffectual at July 21, 2017 07:06 PM (Enq6K)


I hate being lied to by the sales clerk.

Posted by: Ace's liver at July 21, 2017 07:12 PM (Xuv2G)

544 People that order expensive drinks and appetizers that they would never order on their own dime when they know someone else is picking up the check.

Posted by: CaliGirl at July 21, 2017 07:12 PM (Ri/rl)

545 >>>Plastic packaging that needs a chainsaw to open.

I hate this and have no idea why they do it.

Posted by: ace at July 21, 2017 07:12 PM (8rNrN)

546 Whenever I am asked to create a password that must include at least 8 characters, a minimum amount of numbers, an uppercase, and a symbol.

Posted by: mark1971 at July 21, 2017 07:12 PM (xPl2J)

547 If my wife stops moving she falls asleep.

Posted by: RokShox at July 21, 2017 07:12 PM (yehh7)

548 "My biggest "bane" is PEOPLE ON TV MOVIES EATING CHINESE FOOD WITH CHOPSTICKS.

NOBODY does this in real life, Hollywood Jerkoffs."

Posted by: Soothsayer --Digitally Remastered


I use chopsticks whenever I eat Chinese or Japanese food. Even the cheap ramen packets from the store.

Posted by: Jeff Weimer at July 21, 2017 07:12 PM (17QyB)

549 Winston: use TVG. :-)

Posted by: qdpsteve at July 21, 2017 07:12 PM (eMKNe)

550 People who eat horse meat with chopsticks.

Posted by: Winston at July 21, 2017 07:12 PM (mgpkf)

551 Uptalkers.

Posted by: JackStraw at July 21, 2017 07:12 PM (/tuJf)

552 I hate when I get stuck doing contract work next to the firehose used to spray the blood out of the gut tubs at the slaughterhouse and the workers hose me down with blood for 8 hours and since I don't have any clean clothes, I just strip down, toss my clothes in the back of the pickup truck and drive home naked and bloody, and all the traffic on the interstate stays way way back. 1996, Omaha. Not my best day.

Posted by: Bite the hand that feeds me at July 21, 2017 07:12 PM (mBm+4)

553 It's TV people eating the Chinese food directly out of the box that's annoying. You get a plate, put some rice down, add your General Tso's chicken, then lap it up like it a dog.

It's just good manners yo.

Posted by: motionview at July 21, 2017 07:12 PM (pYQR/)

554 Native speakers of French -- you know, people who come out of the womb and are instantly immersed in a French-language environment -- getting all huffy when a non-native speaker says a word or two in French. The complain because not enough people will accommodate them by speaking their language, but when you do, they gripe about how you did it wrong.

Posted by: FireHorse at July 21, 2017 07:12 PM (zkGZ8)

555 Warm beer gives me the sadz.

Posted by: Deplorable Redneck Bitter Clinger at July 21, 2017 07:12 PM (MCEs2)

556 Guys who put ketchup on their penis.

Posted by: Wyatt Earp at July 21, 2017 07:11 PM (bkUtD)
...

I know. Much prefer mayo with a splash of tabasco.

Posted by: Barry at July 21, 2017 07:13 PM (HgMAr)

557 if i'm playing hostess at a dinner party while everyone is outside partying DO NOT send your kid in to have me get them something.

i've actually told the kids, "tell your mother i said they can get it for you"

Posted by: concrete girl at July 21, 2017 07:13 PM (CAbep)

558 522 >>Almost every single thing has a safety cap.

My favorite is the safety cap on aspirin. Yes, this is exactly what every person in pain wants, to try and solve the puzzle of your new "safety" cap.

I'm convinced they are laughing their asses off at Big Aspirin over this.
Posted by: JackStraw at July 21, 2017 07:09 PM (/tuJf)



My Kroger brand generic ibuprofen bottle is a non safety cap design. No silly lining up the arrows, or press down and then unscrew. Just unscrew the cap like a normal bottle.

Posted by: buzzion at July 21, 2017 07:13 PM (z/Ubi)

559 I hate people who buy a new LARGER television every six months and insist that I see it.

Posted by: Lester at July 21, 2017 07:13 PM (LfJIn)

560 People who turn their wife into a Pez dispenser then get paroled because Nevada sucks.

Posted by: Wyatt Earp at July 21, 2017 07:13 PM (bkUtD)

561 Can someone explain "uptalk"? I have no idea what that means so don't know if I hate it.

Posted by: Big V at July 21, 2017 07:13 PM (qnAGA)

562 Plastic packaging that needs a chainsaw to open.


About half the time you can get the product out without destroying it.

Posted by: Cicero (@cicero) at July 21, 2017 07:13 PM (Mouru)

563 Tami,

Thats BS. I worked in sewing factories. It's a big stack of fabric, over a foot thick. They use a electric blade like a knife that cuts through all the layers.
The person doing the sewing on the small one screwed up. Sergers cut off excess fabric as they sew. When they redo it, it's smaller.

Posted by: Notsothoreau at July 21, 2017 07:13 PM (Lqy/e)

564 What is it with taking selfies that people can't even go into the water without taking a selfie even when they're up to their waists in surf?

Lifeguards tell me they always find iPhones washed up onto the beach

Posted by: kbdabear at July 21, 2017 07:14 PM (3i2nH)

565
People - generally airhead millennials - ending sentences with 'right?'

It assumes you agree with what they said and everyone must think like them

Posted by: Deplorable Male Logic at July 21, 2017 07:14 PM (lKyWE)

566 Plastic packaging that needs a chainsaw to open.
Thank shoplifters for that. Assholes.


Posted by: andycanuck #CNNisISIS at July 21, 2017 07:10 PM (nlbfN)



Now, now, don't engage in hyperbole. You don't need a chainsaw.

A reciprocating saw works perfectly well.

Posted by: Deplorable Jay Guevara at July 21, 2017 07:14 PM (SRKgf)

567 I hate the fact that every Ancient Aliens episode sounds just like that last Ancient Aliens episode.

[something vaguely unexplanable?] Ancient aliens!

or

[inspired genius?] nope. Contacted by ancient aliens!

or

[any mythology ever?] not a myth. Ancient aliens!

In the above, I believe I have encapsulated the entire Ancient Aliens series.

Posted by: shibumi at July 21, 2017 07:14 PM (aT+Bx)

568 You're all so troubled. So many grievances and pent up frustrations.
Glad I'm not like that.

Posted by: L, Elle at July 21, 2017 07:12 PM (Rsi2C)
............

Yep, this one's going to hit 1000 for sure.

Posted by: wth at July 21, 2017 07:14 PM (HgMAr)

569 People who only copy the 'Posted by:...." line to reply to the comment.

Posted by: Tami, Public Ineffectual at July 21, 2017 07:14 PM (Enq6K)

570
484 People who believe they can and should have deep religious discussions about The Gay on a website populated by Morons named dildo and masturbatin', and then get angry and insulting when the Morons are immediately bored.
Posted by: Hate Has No Homo at July 21, 2017 07:06 PM (psH+N)

This right here is why I come here.

Posted by: Patrick From Ohio at July 21, 2017 07:14 PM (dKiJG)

571 "Fair trade" coffee signs on the drive through window. Like I give a fuck where it comes from.

Posted by: tu3031 at July 21, 2017 07:14 PM (qJhUV)

572 People that order expensive drinks and appetizers that they would never order on their own dime when they know someone else is picking up the check.
Posted by: CaliGirl at July 21, 2017 07:12 PM
***
Next time just tell me upfront that we're splitting the check and it won't happen again. Promise

Posted by: L, Elle at July 21, 2017 07:15 PM (Rsi2C)

573 Posted by: Tami, Public Ineffectual at July 21, 2017 07:14 PM (Enq6K)


I know, right?

Posted by: Cicero (@cicero) at July 21, 2017 07:15 PM (Mouru)

574 Mark Andrew Edwards,

I solved your problem- Seedless Watermelon!

Posted by: Carol at July 21, 2017 07:15 PM (NKOy9)

575 My biggest "bane" is PEOPLE ON TV MOVIES EATING CHINESE FOOD WITH CHOPSTICKS.


NOBODY does this in real life, Hollywood Jerkoffs.

Posted by: Soothsayer --Digitally Remastered at July 21, 2017 07:01 PM (qbQhu)


Related: They're always eating directly out of the white food carton. Apparently nobody on TV shares the Chinese food or has access to paper plates.


Unrelated: Whenever anyone on TV or in a movie is holding a piece of luggage, it's always clear that the luggage is empty by the way it sways and moves around. For some reason this bugs me. It's so glaring that they're actors with a prop, not a person with a full suitcase.

Posted by: JuJuBee at July 21, 2017 07:15 PM (2NqXo)

576 I eventually fired her (for something else, though).
Posted by: Ace's liver at July 21, 2017 07:10 PM (Xuv2G)

I really want to correct them although I will correct children if I hear them say it.

Posted by: CaliGirl at July 21, 2017 07:15 PM (Ri/rl)

577 >>>Plastic packaging that needs a chainsaw to open.
I hate this and have no idea why they do it.
Posted by: ace


I have a drawer full of *empty* bluray, DVD and CD boxes I've bought over the years, just for this purpose. It's frustrating how many come from the store, or Amazon, shattered up... or re blu-rays and DVDs, the clear plastic is literally wrinkled horribly.

Also, sometimes the packaging is too overboard. I recently got a copy of Connie and Carla that was so plastered with SECURITY DEVICE ENABLED stickers that is was impossible to open. I finally just tore it apart, then put the disc and outer info sleeve (it's that sheet of paper with the film cover/info) into a fresh clear DVD box.

Yeah I know, I'm OCD.

Posted by: qdpsteve at July 21, 2017 07:15 PM (eMKNe)

578 People who take pictures of their food and post it to Instagram or Twitter.

Posted by: Winston at July 21, 2017 07:15 PM (mgpkf)

579
When you get to the bottom and the last several leaves are right against the plate, you end up stabbing them several times with your fork. *stab* drop *stab* drop


Try going in perpendicular and lifting a corner of the leaf, then use a scooping motion. The fork does more than just STAB your food/

Posted by: Soothsayer --Digitally Remastered at July 21, 2017 07:16 PM (qbQhu)

580 Since I mentioned them earlier, let me add a friendly PSA: 'Armenians! Put down your brandy and coffee and pay attention! Ana Kasparian, Anita Sarkeesian, and that entire menagerie of the Kardashians are making people think maybe the Turks jad a point.'

Posted by: Your Decidedly Devious Uncle Palpatine. All Honor & Glory to Kekistan! at July 21, 2017 07:16 PM (fA1SL)

581 People who say "God has a plan for you" or "it's all part of God's plan" when something really fucking terrible has just happened to you.

Posted by: Insomniac, Professional Nobody at July 21, 2017 07:16 PM (0mRoj)

582 Silky pony.

Posted by: Winston at July 21, 2017 07:16 PM (mgpkf)

583 562 Plastic packaging that needs a chainsaw to open.

About half the time you can get the product out without destroying it.
Posted by: Cicero (@cicero) at July 21, 2017 07:13 PM (Mouru)

*****
This! Only it's the packaging that is supposed to be resealable but the shit never fits back in it.
I actually met the HR guy from a firm who makes that stuff at a job fair. Told him the designed sucked.

Oh, and not getting a job offer.

Posted by: Diogenes at July 21, 2017 07:16 PM (0tfLf)

584 Superfluous "at"s.

As in, "Where did you get that at?"

Or "Where is the dog at?"

Posted by: Malcolm Tent at July 21, 2017 07:11 PM (Kd2ow)
............

Don't forget the white women.

Posted by: wth at July 21, 2017 07:16 PM (HgMAr)

585 Having people tell me "Stop hitting yourself" when it is really them hitting me.

Posted by: Sean Spicer at July 21, 2017 07:16 PM (pYQR/)

586 Posted by: Tami, Public Ineffectual at July 21, 2017 07:14 PM (Enq6K)

Yeah, I do that sometimes.

Posted by: OregonMuse, AoSHQ Thought Leader at July 21, 2017 07:16 PM (OiLIO)

587 Southerners and both kids say coke. If it's Coca-Cola specifically that they want, it's co-cola. And I love it for the same reason Vienna sausages are vye-yeenah.

For the longest time "plain-ol" was an adjective, too.
"Want some Pringles?"
"yes, please."
"Which ones? "
" Plain-ol. "

Posted by: Hate Has No Homo at July 21, 2017 07:16 PM (psH+N)

588 Thats BS. I worked in sewing factories. It's a big
stack of fabric, over a foot thick. They use a electric blade like a
knife that cuts through all the layers.

The person doing the sewing on the small one screwed up. Sergers cut
off excess fabric as they sew. When they redo it, it's smaller.

Posted by: Notsothoreau at July 21, 2017 07:13 PM (Lqy/e)

Wait...I was lied to!?
I hate it when people lie to me.

Posted by: Tami, Public Ineffectual at July 21, 2017 07:16 PM (Enq6K)

589 21 I have another city one. Women spit all the time in the city. It's mostly a minority thing, but rules have exceptions. This is a particularly prevalent in Chinatown... I'm not squeamish, but it's disgusting. You are already dodging piles of dog shit on any Manhattan street...add to that the odd hock.

Posted by: Orson at July 21, 2017 06:19 PM (ziyUi)

That's strange. In Van Nuys and Chatsworth they usually swallow

Posted by: kbdabear at July 21, 2017 07:16 PM (3i2nH)

590 if i'm playing hostess at a dinner party while everyone is outside partying DO NOT send your kid in to have me get them something.
i've actually told the kids, "tell your mother i said they can get it for you"
Posted by: concrete girl at July 21, 2017 07:13 PM
****
Thanks for letting me know. I won't send my daughter in to do my bidding. That's a helpful hint. Thank you

Posted by: L, Elle at July 21, 2017 07:16 PM (Rsi2C)

591 561 Can someone explain "uptalk"? I have no idea what that means so don't know if I hate it.
Posted by: Big V at July 21, 2017 07:13 PM (qnAGA)


It's when your voice goes up (as if you were asking a question) at the end of a declarative sentence. People do it because they feel like it "softens" the assertion and makes them look less boorish.

Posted by: Ace's liver at July 21, 2017 07:17 PM (Xuv2G)

592
Whenever I am asked to create a password that must include at least 8 characters, a minimum amount of numbers, an uppercase, and a symbol.
Posted by: mark1971 at July 21, 2017 07:12 PM (xPl2J)


And when they always ask you to change your password

Posted by: John Podesta at July 21, 2017 07:17 PM (lKyWE)

593 554: I worked with a bunch of French engineers posted here in US. On elevator with several of them, American gets on and says some innocuous thing in French like "bon jour" or whatever. He gets off, and Frenchies all laugh "Americans speak French like cows".

Resolved then and there I would never even try to speak their dead language.

Posted by: RokShox at July 21, 2017 07:17 PM (yehh7)

594 Silky pony.

Posted by: Winston at July 21, 2017 07:16 PM (mgpkf)

Futa pony.

Posted by: wth at July 21, 2017 07:17 PM (HgMAr)

595 569 People who only copy the 'Posted by:...." line to reply to the comment.
Posted by: Tami, Public Ineffectual at July 21, 2017 07:14 PM (Enq6K)



At least you know who they are responding to.

Its the people that only give the comment number that are really annoying.

Posted by: buzzion at July 21, 2017 07:17 PM (z/Ubi)

596 546 Whenever I am asked to create a password that must include at least 8 characters, a minimum amount of numbers, an uppercase, and a symbol.
Posted by: mark1971 at July 21, 2017 07:12 PM (xPl2J)



LastPass, FTW.

The one that kills me is when the library or something else totally innocuous wants you to change password every two weeks for your security.

WTF? They probably don't change nuclear codes THAT frequently.

Posted by: Deplorable Jay Guevara at July 21, 2017 07:17 PM (SRKgf)

597 Next time just tell me upfront that we're splitting the check and it won't happen again. Promise
Posted by: L, Elle at July 21, 2017 07:15 PM (

This pet peeve is from my waitress days. It was always the rich people that were the worst offenders.

Maybe that's why they were rich.

Posted by: CaliGirl at July 21, 2017 07:17 PM (Ri/rl)

598 Hi Fluffy!

I haven't been here or on any website lately. I miss you guys/ladies.
I refuse to call people by the idiotic pronoun I have seen here. Screw them if they don't like it.

Posted by: Carol at July 21, 2017 07:17 PM (NKOy9)

599

People who like Shark Week.

Posted by: Soothsayer --Digitally Remastered at July 21, 2017 07:17 PM (qbQhu)

600 I hate it when I think it's June and it's almost the end of July. Seriously - I've been thinking its June this whole time. Crap. I missed a month.

Posted by: grammie winger at July 21, 2017 07:17 PM (1fvpz)

601 I hate this and have no idea why they do it.
Shoplifters were popping out or cutting out the items in the old, regular plastic packaging too easily so they upped the grade of plastic and all the rest of it that's the standard now. And I guess the shoplifters began the cutting out when the barcodes stopped taking the entire package, cardboard and all, out of the store possible without detetction.

Posted by: andycanuck #CNNisISIS at July 21, 2017 07:18 PM (nlbfN)

602 Having 3 cops work me over with their rubber truncheons while chanting "I'm afraid for my life...I'm afraid for my life."

Posted by: OregonMuse, AoSHQ Thought Leader at July 21, 2017 07:18 PM (OiLIO)

603 to approach a stranger's car at midnight.

Especially un-armed white women.

Posted by: Minnesota Jihadi Police Ltd. at July 21, 2017 07:18 PM (FhXTo)

604
How many Shark Weeks does one need to see in their lives?

It's 95% the same video footage as before. Plus, who cares.

Posted by: Soothsayer --Digitally Remastered at July 21, 2017 07:18 PM (qbQhu)

605 The automated sales calls that try to sound like a real person.

Well, sales calls in general, but those are particularly loathsome.

Posted by: Jeff Weimer at July 21, 2017 07:18 PM (17QyB)

606 554: I worked with a bunch of French engineers posted here in US. On elevator with several of them, American gets on and says some innocuous thing in French like "bon jour" or whatever. He gets off, and Frenchies all laugh "Americans speak French like cows".


Shoulda told them they fight like rabbits.

Posted by: Deplorable Jay Guevara at July 21, 2017 07:18 PM (SRKgf)

607 People who say "God has a plan for you" or "it's all part of God's plan" when something really fucking terrible has just happened to you.
---

Oh, that's good. It's especially annoying when it's coming from someone who has had an effing magical life with no major issues, and their only stress is figuring out what brand of organic, pre-boiled egss to buy.

Posted by: shibumi at July 21, 2017 07:18 PM (aT+Bx)

608 Guys who elbow me in the boob

Posted by: Girl in the same crowded bar as kbdabear at July 21, 2017 07:18 PM (3i2nH)

609 When you're eating dinner while reading a blog and you come across something funny in a comment and you know you're going to LOL, so you position the mouthful of food just so in order to neither spit it out nor choke to death, and then you go to swallow but you find that the comment was funnier than you originally anticipated and there's more LOL coming just as you're trying to swallow your food.

Posted by: FireHorse at July 21, 2017 07:18 PM (zkGZ8)

610
It's a big
stack of fabric, over a foot thick.


Aren't these things called BOLTS??

Posted by: Soothsayer --Digitally Remastered at July 21, 2017 07:19 PM (qbQhu)

611 This:

193 155 & 143 see 112

Posted by: Hate Has No Homo at July 21, 2017 07:19 PM (psH+N)

612 600 I hate it when I think it's June and it's almost the end of July. Seriously - I've been thinking its June this whole time. Crap. I missed a month.

Posted by: grammie winger at July 21, 2017 07:17 PM (1fvp


Ever thought about easing up on the gin a bit?

Just a thought.

Posted by: OregonMuse, AoSHQ Thought Leader at July 21, 2017 07:19 PM (OiLIO)

613 593 554: I worked with a bunch of French engineers posted here in US. On elevator with several of them, American gets on and says some innocuous thing in French like "bon jour" or whatever. He gets off, and Frenchies all laugh "Americans speak French like cows".

Resolved then and there I would never even try to speak their dead language.
Posted by: RokShox at July 21, 2017 07:17 PM (yehh7)


Unless you were dating or trying to date a French speaking chic. Not that we know anybody like that.

Posted by: Ace's liver at July 21, 2017 07:19 PM (Xuv2G)

614 The one that kills me is when the library or something else totally
innocuous wants you to change password every two weeks for your
security.



WTF? They probably don't change nuclear codes THAT frequently.

Posted by: Deplorable Jay Guevara at July 21, 2017 07:17 PM (SRKgf)


And while you need to show ID to get a library card to require ID to vote is a terrible hardship.

Posted by: Vendette at July 21, 2017 07:19 PM (ZZo2I)

615 Side boob.

Posted by: Winston at July 21, 2017 07:19 PM (mgpkf)

616 t's not like it's there to give another driver a head's up to expect you'll be braking.

Ha, I've lived in DC and NJ - the blinker isn't a warning it's a threat.

Posted by: Minnesota Jihadi Police Ltd. at July 21, 2017 07:19 PM (FhXTo)

617 How many Shark Weeks does one need to see in their lives?



It's 95% the same video footage as before. Plus, who cares.
---

See my earlier comment on "Ancient Aliens."

Only three actual episodes.

Posted by: shibumi at July 21, 2017 07:20 PM (aT+Bx)

618 I hate how, on social media, the most idiotic and trivial and non-accomplished posts are greeted with a chorus of approbation, whereas posts by less sociable achievers are greeted with silence.

Example:

Facebook/Instagram/whatever:

"Today I did the laundry and took the dog for a walk around the block."

Replies:

"You go girl!"
"Awright! Love ya!"
"ALL THE WAY around the block? Damn! You're fit!"
"KISSES!!! YOU"RE THE BEST!"
"Glad to hear you had a great day!"
"I wish I could be more like you!"
...
[three hours and 400 comments later]
...
"My goddess! Go go go!"
"HUGZZ! xxxxx"
"I'm so glad I know ya!"

Meanwhile, someone else with fewer "friends" posts this:

"My book came out today. Spent three years researching it. Going to be on NPR tonight."

Replies:

[crickets

The next day:

"Can you send me a free copy?"

[End of comments.]

Posted by: zombie at July 21, 2017 07:20 PM (DQ4Fv)

619 This habit among Millennials of using "literally" in just about every sentence, especially when there's no figurative

Posted by: kbdabear at July 21, 2017 07:20 PM (3i2nH)

620 Young people who say "like" every other word. They could be brilliantly explaining calculus with imaginary numbers and they'd still sound stupid.

Posted by: JuJuBee at July 21, 2017 07:21 PM (2NqXo)

621
This: 193 155 143 see 112
Posted by: Hate Has No Homo at July 21, 2017 07:19 PM (psH+N)


okay that's funny

Posted by: John Podesta at July 21, 2017 07:21 PM (lKyWE)

622 "Organic" anything.

Posted by: sinalco at July 21, 2017 07:21 PM (yODqO)

623 Ruh Roh.... Sessions it toast...

Washington Post says leaked intercepts show he talked to the Russian Ambassador about Trump stuff before the election....

And seeing as how Sessions has recused himself, he can't even adequately go after the leakers...

Posted by: Don Quixote, Retired Sailor... at July 21, 2017 07:21 PM (NgKpN)

624 Okay. Have to go but thanks for making me laugh...this place is like an institution (word interpretation up to the reader). On a positive note, Saratoga opened today (too bad it's hot as b*** here in the northeast).

Posted by: Winston at July 21, 2017 07:21 PM (mgpkf)

625 Prescription medication ads that have happy, smiling users in the background doing life while they describe how many different ways the drug can maim or kill you.

Posted by: AnonymousDrivel at July 21, 2017 07:21 PM (H8S+R)

626

A 'ment just got zapped. It was about muffins.

Posted by: Soothsayer --Digitally Remastered at July 21, 2017 07:21 PM (qbQhu)

627 Ah then my standard reply would be "Are you asking me or telling me"? to the up talker. Tho I don't think anyone over the age of ten has done that to me.

Posted by: Big V at July 21, 2017 07:21 PM (qnAGA)

628 Back boobs.

Posted by: wth at July 21, 2017 07:21 PM (HgMAr)

629 Conniving bullshit artists who get handed whatever they want despite being incompetent fuckweasels. Also the people who lap up their bullshit like it's ice cream.

Posted by: Insomniac, Professional Nobody at July 21, 2017 07:22 PM (0mRoj)

630 Try going in perpendicular and lifting a corner of the leaf, then use a scooping motion. The fork does more than just STAB your food/

Seriously? Who eats that last leaf?

Posted by: CrotchetyOldJarhead at July 21, 2017 07:22 PM (pDZCs)

631 You know what annoys me? how few tortillas you get when you order fajitas. You can make those things for pennies, and buy them for a few pennies more, but they go cheap on the tortillas every time. "Here's a pound of fixings and... oh 3 tortillas the size of a pringles can lid. Good luck with that, loser. What's that? You want more? two bits for another couple of tiny discs. Eat it."

Posted by: Christopher R Taylor at July 21, 2017 07:22 PM (39g3+)

632 581
"People who say "God has a plan for you" or "it's all part of God's plan"
when something really fucking terrible has just happened to you."

Posted by: Insomniac, Professional Nobody

A few months back some guy was driving erratically, loaded up on 2 or 3 drugs and alcohol, killed 13 elderly people on their way back from a church retreat.

Posted by: Skunky Choom at July 21, 2017 07:22 PM (aNGAc)

633 Customers who don't know what they want to drink.

Something fruity? No.
Something creamy? No.
Something with vodka? No.
Whiskey? No.
Wine? No.
Beer? What kind do you have? Um, no.

Ma'am I have 18 customers behind you!

Posted by: Malcolm Tent at July 21, 2017 07:22 PM (Kd2ow)

634 596 546 Whenever I am asked to create a password that must include at least 8 characters, a minimum amount of numbers, an uppercase, and a symbol.
Posted by: mark1971 at July 21, 2017 07:12 PM (xPl2J)


LastPass, FTW.

The one that kills me is when the library or something else totally innocuous wants you to change password every two weeks for your security.

WTF? They probably don't change nuclear codes THAT frequently.
Posted by: Deplorable Jay Guevara at July 21, 2017 07:17 PM (SRKgf)


Nah, they just set em to 00000000

http://gizmodo.com/for-20-years-the-nuclear-launch-code-at-us-minuteman-si-1473483587

Posted by: Ace's liver at July 21, 2017 07:23 PM (Xuv2G)

635 LastPass, FTW.

---

Isn't that cloud based? I've heard good things but never used it.

KeePass is local/password protected and I set it up to be accessible via my own cloud service.

Posted by: Hate Has No Homo at July 21, 2017 07:23 PM (psH+N)

636 Guys who elbow me in the boob
Posted by: Girl in the same crowded bar as kbdabear at July 21, 2017 07:18 PM (3i2nH)



Hmm. Is there any way it could be still be done but in a less-annoying way?

Asking for a friend.

Posted by: Cicero (@cicero) at July 21, 2017 07:23 PM (Mouru)

637 Pet Peeve... the stupid Instagram crap that you can put on pictures... funny hats and stupid shit...

and the women who think its 'cute' to put them on their dating website profile...

No Sugar Tits, we want to see what the hell you Look like.... full damn unencumbered Body Shot...

Posted by: Don Quixote, Retired Sailor... at July 21, 2017 07:23 PM (NgKpN)

638 If you follow baseball like I do, the bitching every time the lineup is tweeted, as if they think if the manager just read their tweets they'd win 150 games

Posted by: kbdabear at July 21, 2017 07:23 PM (3i2nH)

639 Guys who elbow me in the boob

Posted by: Girl in the same crowded bar as kbdabear at July 21, 2017 07:18 PM (3i2nH)
...........

if they weren't on your back you could protect them better

Posted by: wth at July 21, 2017 07:23 PM (HgMAr)

640 Annoying little undergrad shits who start a sentence with "I've got a problem with..."
Like I give a damn what gives you problems.

Posted by: Diogenes at July 21, 2017 07:23 PM (0tfLf)

641 shibumi and insomniac, yup.

I believe in God. I believe in Jesus. But some people just have to make it into a competition. In 1991 (before all the harassment rules went into place), I had to deal with some women at my first full-time job (GTE) who were just ridiculously holier-than-thou. It was like working with 3 Dana Carvey Church Ladies.

One time they were giggling at me for no discernible reason. I finally said to them, "what do you know that I don't?

They yelled back: "Jesus!"
Oy vey. I never spoke to them again.

I've shared this before, but I also had to unfriend a woman I knew who was constantly convinced that Jesus was coming back next week, every single time Obama so much as coughed. But of course if you confronted her-- "really? JESUS HIMSELF said in the Bible He doesn't know when His Dad is coming back. But YOU do?!?" she became slippier than one of the Clintons in front of a prosecutor. "Oh that's not what I said!" Lady, that's EXACTLY what you said. You're just an immature person using your faith as a weapon against other people.

And then there's those at FB who *insist* that you share EVERYTHING they post about proving just how much you luv God, Jesus and America, or "keep scrolling if you don't love them!" I've had to mute and/or block a few of those too.

Posted by: qdpsteve at July 21, 2017 07:24 PM (eMKNe)

642 This: 193 155 143 see 112
Posted by: Hate Has No Homo at July 21, 2017 07:19 PM (psH+N)

LOL/

Posted by: FenelonSpoke at July 21, 2017 07:24 PM (iVOAv)

643 And while you need to show ID to get a library card to require ID to vote is a terrible hardship.
Posted by: Vendette at July 21, 2017 07:19 PM (ZZo2I)


That's because the people they're thinking of don't get library cards.

Posted by: Deplorable Jay Guevara at July 21, 2017 07:24 PM (SRKgf)

644 Being a man as you age gives you bizarre stuff to complain about. God hates men. Why else would he make the hair on top of your head fade away but sprout from the end of your nose, inside your ears and everywhere else? Is that some kind of sick joke? "This'll show you"

Posted by: Christopher R Taylor at July 21, 2017 07:24 PM (39g3+)

645 When people try and donate books that have been flagged for being in the bathroom.

Posted by: Rebecca DeMornay at July 21, 2017 07:24 PM (beJsD)

646 He gets off, and Frenchies all laugh "Americans speak French like cows".
If it was John Kerry who got on the elevator, they actually had a point.

Posted by: andycanuck #CNNisISIS at July 21, 2017 07:24 PM (nlbfN)

647 I hate when obviously guilty Democrats plead the 5th and it's not a big deal to our treasonous media.

Posted by: Mega at July 21, 2017 07:24 PM (rv0Fo)

648 I hate it when they turn off the cameras at press conferences.

Posted by: Jim Acosta at July 21, 2017 07:25 PM (xAvrH)

649 Chicks with Man Hands.

Posted by: Jerry Seinfeld at July 21, 2017 07:25 PM (beJsD)

650 #595 is right on, right!

Posted by: andycanuck #CNNisISIS at July 21, 2017 07:25 PM (nlbfN)

651 606 554: I worked with a bunch of French engineers posted here in US. On elevator with several of them, American gets on and says some innocuous thing in French like "bon jour" or whatever. He gets off, and Frenchies all laugh "Americans speak French like cows".


Shoulda told them they fight like rabbits.
Posted by: Deplorable Jay Guevara at July 21, 2017 07:18 PM (SRKgf)


Be pretty embarrassing to get your ass kicked by a bunch of French guys.

Posted by: Ace's liver at July 21, 2017 07:25 PM (Xuv2G)

652 2017 07:17 PM (1fvp

Ever thought about easing up on the gin a bit?

Just a thought..

----------


Heck no it's all inclusive.

Posted by: grammie winger at July 21, 2017 07:25 PM (1fvpz)

653 630 Try going in perpendicular and lifting a corner of the leaf, then use a scooping motion. The fork does more than just STAB your food/

Seriously? Who eats that last leaf?
Posted by: CrotchetyOldJarhead at July 21, 2017 07:22 PM (pDZCs)

Seriously.... who eats salads?

Posted by: Don Quixote, Retired Sailor... at July 21, 2017 07:25 PM (NgKpN)

654
I hate everything that costs $19.99.

Posted by: Guy Mohawk at July 21, 2017 07:25 PM (r+sAi)

655 People who think there's such a creature as a Burmese mountain dog.

Posted by: JuJuBee at July 21, 2017 07:25 PM (2NqXo)

656 Captain Douche that takes his pill to have sex with his wife and ends up in matching bathtubs in the middle of nowhere.

How the hell did they get the water in the tubs? Why are there tubs in the woods? Did you walk your nekkid sex dripping bodies out of the house to go bathe outside? Did you put on shoes or did you get a splinter in your foot?

Posted by: weirdflunky at July 21, 2017 07:26 PM (dh85b)

657 When I'm waiting in a long line at a restaurant and the guy in front of me waits until he gets to the register to finally look up at the menu to figure out what he wants.

Posted by: Mark1971 at July 21, 2017 07:26 PM (xPl2J)

658 Superman. Fuck that guy.

Posted by: Widespread Pepe at July 21, 2017 07:26 PM (2qHjF)

659 Fat people who don't think they are, wearing tight clothes, sleeveless clothes, and/or slutty clothes.

Posted by: Bicentennialguy at July 21, 2017 07:26 PM (nILVB)

660 All I can say is this post and it's Update is why I come here every day........ What a perfect blog...... never change!



Remember the end of Bloom County?

Milo: "I feel a sense of...permanence."

Binkley: "Dabbling in a bit of ironic foreshadowing, are we?"

Milo: "No, why?"




Posted by: SSBN 656 (G) at July 21, 2017 07:26 PM (br2jI)

661 Isn't that cloud based? I've heard good things but never used it.

KeePass is local/password protected and I set it up to be accessible via my own cloud service.
Posted by: Hate Has No Homo at July 21, 2017 07:23 PM (psH+N)



Yeah, it is. I'm a little hinky about a cloud-based service, but it works great, generates and keeps passwords locally (I think), and keeps them encrypted in the cloud.

I might be wrong about this, but I think that that's right. Makes it easy to generate and use strong passwords.

Posted by: Deplorable Jay Guevara at July 21, 2017 07:26 PM (SRKgf)

662 And the number of the Beast shall be six hundreds, three score and six.

Posted by: zombie at July 21, 2017 07:27 PM (DQ4Fv)

663 Drat!

Posted by: zombie at July 21, 2017 07:27 PM (DQ4Fv)

664 People that wait for the good parking spaces.

Learn to walk, lazies

Posted by: L, Elle at July 21, 2017 07:27 PM (Rsi2C)

665 Fake little kids' voices on Ad Council commercials. Also the Ad Council.

Posted by: freaked at July 21, 2017 07:27 PM (BO/km)

666 Not enough videos of Hillary supporters crying.

Posted by: Patrick From Ohio at July 21, 2017 07:27 PM (dKiJG)

667 Fat people who don't think they are, wearing tight clothes, sleeveless clothes, and/or slutty clothes.
Posted by: Bicentennialguy


*qdpsteve discreetly changes out of his workout leotards* :-P

Posted by: qdpsteve at July 21, 2017 07:27 PM (eMKNe)

668 Posted by: Insomniac, Professional Nobody at July 21, 2017 07:22 PM (0mRoj)

Seconded

Posted by: Mega at July 21, 2017 07:27 PM (rv0Fo)

669 Who gets it?

Posted by: L, Elle at July 21, 2017 07:27 PM (Rsi2C)

670 Show talkers. I don't mean those who say "that was great" or whatever after or even during a song. I mean the people who go over their day or whatever since the last time they saw each other. Save it for set break or another time.

Posted by: Cosmic Charlie at July 21, 2017 07:27 PM (PUmDY)

671 Chicks with Man Hands.
........

Chicks with big Adam's apples... oh WAIT

Posted by: wth at July 21, 2017 07:28 PM (HgMAr)

672 Posted by: JuJuBee at July 21, 2017 07:25 PM (2NqXo)

It's when a Bernese was mated with a Python from Burma./ ;^) Do you have a Bernese Mountain Dog?. My sister has two of them

Posted by: FenelonSpoke at July 21, 2017 07:28 PM (iVOAv)

673 How the hell did they get the water in the tubs? Why are there tubs in the woods? Did you walk your nekkid sex dripping bodies out of the house to go bathe outside? Did you put on shoes or did you get a splinter in your foot?
Posted by: weirdflunky at July 21, 2017 07:26 PM (dh85b)


And how do you have sex when you're in different tubs? Or does that shit give you a diamond-studded chubby that'll bore right through porcelain?

In which case, sign me up!

Posted by: Deplorable Jay Guevara at July 21, 2017 07:28 PM (SRKgf)

674 Patrick from Ohio.

Posted by: L, Elle at July 21, 2017 07:28 PM (Rsi2C)

675 Shoulda told them they fight like rabbits.
Posted by: Deplorable Jay Guevara at July 21, 2017 07:18 PM (SRKgf)

Look, that rabbit's got a vicious streak a mile wide. It's a killer!

Posted by: JuJuBee at July 21, 2017 07:28 PM (2NqXo)

676 ads with audio at the gas station pump

Posted by: Chuck C at July 21, 2017 07:28 PM (Ww8aT)

677 Its
His
Hers
Theirs. (All possessives)

It's (contraction of it is)

It's not that hard, folks. SWIDT?

Posted by: RI Red - retired AND on vacation. at July 21, 2017 07:28 PM (PZ+aV)

678 The Kars for Kids jingle.

Posted by: Wyatt Earp at July 21, 2017 07:28 PM (bkUtD)

679 Whenever I am asked to create a password that must include at least 8 characters, a minimum amount of numbers, an uppercase, and a symbol.
Posted by: mark1971 at July 21, 2017 07:12 PM (xPl2J)


"Fcuky0u!" is easy to remember

Posted by: Hrothgar at July 21, 2017 07:29 PM (gwPgz)

680 Whenever I am asked to create a password that must include at least 8 characters, a minimum amount of numbers, an uppercase, and a symbol.


So, I have one for everything. They change over the years but I can remember the four generic passwords that I've used over the last ten years.

Then Apple wants me to change my password. I go to the latest greatest version.

Apple says, "that's too similar to all your other passwords".

WTF, Apple? You're welcome to naked pics of my ex-girlfriends, but this is a bridge too far!

Posted by: Bandersnatch at July 21, 2017 07:29 PM (gIRsn)

681 Fake little kids' voices on Ad Council commercials. Also the Ad Council.
Posted by: freaked


"If you down't bewieve in Gwobal Warming, youw're a BAD MAN!!1!" :-P

Posted by: qdpsteve at July 21, 2017 07:29 PM (eMKNe)

682 Baseball complaints?
-The Designated Hitter
-Pulling the pitcher in a perfect game because of pitch counts
-Relievers who give up the game over and over
-The fact that when a batter tips the ball into the mitt of the catcher its not just an out. Every other damned time someone hits the ball and a player catches it before it hits the ground: out. But not that time.
-Umpires who call a bigger strike zone for established aces. They don't need the help. This isn't basketball, its not star-driven.
-Umpires who won't call the high strike. You're fired, go back to A ball you moron.
-Players who have jewelry all over. Put that crap away when you're on the field, Superfly.
-Players with a flat bill on their cap. That's just a universal sign for "please kick my ass"

Posted by: Christopher R Taylor at July 21, 2017 07:29 PM (39g3+)

683 Fuck, I knew I should have saved an awesome Bloom County reference for a thread way under 600 comments.......

Meh.

Posted by: SSBN 656 (G) at July 21, 2017 07:29 PM (br2jI)

684 EV parking spaces next to the handicap ones.

Posted by: wth at July 21, 2017 07:29 PM (HgMAr)

685 Guys who push all of the buttons in the elevator as they're getting out.

Posted by: Cicero (@cicero) at July 21, 2017 07:29 PM (Mouru)

686 When I was a kid, being asked by some authority figure to explain some action I took and getting "That's no excuse". I didn't offer it as an excuse you fucking bitch.

Posted by: RokShox at July 21, 2017 07:29 PM (yehh7)

687 I HATE radio commercials where a supposedly adult female talks like a 12 year old Valley Girl, especially for an adult product. If I wanted to hear a 12 year old Valley Girl, I would adopt the little bitch.

Posted by: JTB at July 21, 2017 07:29 PM (V+03K)

688 People that think they are so cool that they wear sunglasses all the time, walking around with their pimp cane and their dog everywhere they go.

Posted by: Malcolm Tent at July 21, 2017 07:29 PM (Kd2ow)

689 The Kars for Kids jingle.

Posted by: Wyatt Earp at July 21, 2017 07:28 PM (bkUtD)


I normally turn the radio off when I hear the first notes, and usually don't bother to turn it back on!

Posted by: Hrothgar at July 21, 2017 07:29 PM (gwPgz)

690 TV coverage of live sporting events that either cuts to commercials at inopportune times or spends more time showing talking heads or fluff pieces than the live event itself.


And most of ESPN's programming these days.

Posted by: Vendette at July 21, 2017 07:29 PM (ZZo2I)

691 I hate hate hate Drs who won't listen. Then they make up in their mind what you said, and address you "well, for women your age...." Ok Cocksucker, I have three separate chronic conditions take a bunch of drugs and have a shitload of drug reactions, and it's hard to figure out what's causing what. Atypical presentation motherfucker, DO YOU SPEAK IT?


Maddening. Especially since I know a thing or two.

Posted by: Gushes hates hospitals and wants her kittehs at July 21, 2017 07:30 PM (KPYD5)

692 The people that talk out loud at the movies and talk to the screen or people in stores that seem to be purposely talking extra loud on their cellies to attract attention

Posted by: L, Elle at July 21, 2017 07:30 PM (Rsi2C)

693 >> And the number of the Beast shall be six hundred...


"I lived alone..."

Posted by: Up the Irons! at July 21, 2017 07:30 PM (beJsD)

694 I wonder if we could get almost 700 posts on a happiness thread or things you're happy about?

Posted by: FenelonSpoke at July 21, 2017 07:30 PM (iVOAv)

695 My Wife

Posted by: Jimmy Gee at July 21, 2017 07:30 PM (ld/f6)

696 It's when a Bernese was mated with a Python from Burma./ ;^) Do you have a Bernese Mountain Dog?. My sister has two of them
Posted by: FenelonSpoke at July 21, 2017 07:28 PM (iVOAv)

Yes, she's a 5-year-old little one at 77 lbs. They're the best dogs. I bet your sister is madly in love with them.

Posted by: JuJuBee at July 21, 2017 07:30 PM (2NqXo)

697 Plumbers with tramp stamps.

Posted by: wth at July 21, 2017 07:30 PM (HgMAr)

698 >>>PEOPLE ON TV MOVIES EATING CHINESE FOOD WITH CHOPSTICKS.

But it's FUN to eat with chopsticks. This is totally irrational but I feel like it actually tastes better with chopsticks. If you do that paper and rubber band trick then your kids can use them too.

I live in a totally snobby place and chop sticks to forks usage ratio is like 40-60.

Posted by: Max Power at July 21, 2017 07:30 PM (q177U)

699 685 Guys who push all of the buttons in the elevator as they're getting out.
Posted by: Cicero (@cicero) at July 21, 2017 07:29 PM
***
What's wrong with that exactly?

Posted by: L, Elle at July 21, 2017 07:31 PM (Rsi2C)

700 guys who grab you by the shoulders and scream "I HAVE ALL OF YOUR ALBUMS! YOU'RE A GOD TO ME!" when you're just takin' your leathers out for a stroll

Posted by: Ponytail Leather Daddy at July 21, 2017 07:31 PM (8rNrN)

701 I hate when obviously guilty Democrats plead the 5th and it's not a big deal to our treasonous media.

Posted by: Mega
________

The 5th amendment is part of the Founding Fathers' genius, guaranteeing rights for posterity the way they did. And then the media will exercise their 1st amendment right by saying something about Trump and Russian hookers and stuff. I'll give them a pass on this one.

Remember: ALL of the odd-numbered amendments are important.

Posted by: FireHorse at July 21, 2017 07:31 PM (zkGZ8)

702 Christopher R Taylor, thanks for that. Reminds me of what pisses me off the most about the Dodgers: their super-annoying habit of doing so well through most every season, then choking like crazy *every* *single* 7th thrugh 9th inning.

But then I realized: hey, most of these players probably don't care anyway. They're on contract and get paid the same whether they work hard or not.

Posted by: qdpsteve at July 21, 2017 07:31 PM (eMKNe)

703 690 TV coverage of live sporting events that either cuts to commercials at inopportune times or spends more time showing talking heads or fluff pieces than the live event itself.
Posted by: Vendette


"...and the Jets have a comfortable lead over the hapless Raiders. ... Heidi was a little girl who lived in the Swiss Alps...."

Posted by: zombie at July 21, 2017 07:31 PM (DQ4Fv)

704 Trannies that don't tuck.

Posted by: wth at July 21, 2017 07:32 PM (HgMAr)

705 The people that talk out loud at the movies and talk to the screen or people in stores that seem to be purposely talking extra loud on their cellies to attract attention
Posted by: L, Elle at July 21, 2017 07:30 PM (Rsi2C)

Who bring toddlers and babies with them. Why does a three-year-old need to see Silence of the Lambs?

Posted by: JuJuBee at July 21, 2017 07:32 PM (2NqXo)

706 School administrators.

Posted by: Insomniac, Professional Nobody at July 21, 2017 07:32 PM (0mRoj)

707 >>-The fact that when a batter tips the ball into the mitt of the catcher its not just an out. Every other damned time someone hits the ball and a player catches it before it hits the ground: out. But not that time.



It is if there are 2 strikes.

Otherwise, it has to go above shoulder height to be recorded as an out.

Reason : Ball is not in live play behind the batter's box.

Posted by: Up the Irons! at July 21, 2017 07:32 PM (beJsD)

708 Chopsticks are moronic. Do Chinese people plow a field with a big pool cue? do they dig ditches with a stick? They understand the concept of forks and spoons and knives but no, its two sticks to eat with? Even rice? Their big solution to rice isn't to use a better implement but to make stickier rice. That's just tradition for the sake of tradition.

Posted by: Christopher R Taylor at July 21, 2017 07:32 PM (39g3+)

709 There are some days I really hate Keith Hernandez.

Posted by: Kreplach at July 21, 2017 07:32 PM (tKBaZ)

710 Saw a bumper sticker just now--"Elizabeth Warren 2020."

Remember, just because we know the democrats are criminals doesn't mean they don't have a huge swath of voters who will follow them anywhere.

Posted by: BeckoningChasm at July 21, 2017 07:32 PM (MZcWR)

711 619 This habit among Millennials of using "literally" in just about every sentence, especially when there's no figurative
Posted by: kbdabear at July 21, 2017 07:20 PM (3i2nH)



Or "actually," as in "If you actually do this, you can actually make X happen. I actually couldn't believe how effective this actually is."

Posted by: Deplorable Jay Guevara at July 21, 2017 07:32 PM (SRKgf)

712 Well, I was hoping to go see Larry Correia in Austin on 8/2 at a book signing, but my boss changed my schedule.

Posted by: Darth Randall at July 21, 2017 07:33 PM (v3DL/)

713 I HATE radio commercials where a supposedly adult female talks like a 12 year old Valley Girl, especially for an adult product. If I wanted to hear a 12 year old Valley Girl, I would adopt the little bitch.
Posted by: JTB


Like omigod! I hate that tee-yooo!! It's super gross! ;-)

Posted by: qdpstephanie in leg warmers at July 21, 2017 07:33 PM (eMKNe)

714 >>>ut it's FUN to eat with chopsticks

i learned how to do it -- just took a couple of tries -- and I'm not going to stop just because some other people haven't spent the twenty minutes it takes to do it.

(I'm not very good at it though.)

Posted by: ace at July 21, 2017 07:33 PM (8rNrN)

715 People who don't know how to hold their smartphones when recording an incident.

Turn it sideways, like you do with your pistols!

Posted by: Your Decidedly Devious Uncle Palpatine. All Honor & Glory to Kekistan! at July 21, 2017 07:33 PM (d+xdS)

716 Jimmy Gee's wife.

Posted by: Wyatt Earp at July 21, 2017 07:33 PM (bkUtD)

717 Idiots who panicked and were terrified of radiation after Fukushima.

Really? You live in Ohio.

Posted by: Bicentennialguy at July 21, 2017 07:33 PM (nILVB)

718 It's not that hard, folks. SWIDT?

Posted by: RI Red - retired AND on vacation
________

Ha! I like what you did their.

Posted by: FireHorse at July 21, 2017 07:33 PM (zkGZ8)

719 689 ... "The Kars for Kids jingle.

Posted by: Wyatt Earp at July 21, 2017 07:28 PM (bkUtD)

I normally turn the radio off when I hear the first notes, and usually don't bother to turn it back on!
Posted by: Hrothgar at July 21, 2017 07:29 PM (gwPgz)"

Amen, Brother. Actually, the mute button may be the finest invention in history.

Posted by: JTB at July 21, 2017 07:33 PM (V+03K)

720 "He gets off, and Frenchies all laugh "Americans speak French like cows"."

And someone should add that cows have better manners than the French. They also smell better.

Posted by: Tuna at July 21, 2017 07:33 PM (jm1YL)

721 People who record incidents and shout "World Star" the whole time.

Posted by: Insomniac, Professional Nobody at July 21, 2017 07:34 PM (0mRoj)

722 I swear I'm not a grammar pedant and probably screw up on it up all the time myself, but it bugs me when college educated people use "I" or "myself" where "me" is correct. I think it annoys me because they're trying to be what they think is extra correct by avoiding "me" so it backfires on them.

Posted by: stace at July 21, 2017 07:34 PM (wH8rX)

723 Reason : Ball is not in live play behind the batter's box.

Yeah it is, the catcher catches a popup back there, its an out.

Real reason: it can be hard to tell when it was tipped and people do it a lot, so it lowers batting averages.

Posted by: Christopher R Taylor at July 21, 2017 07:34 PM (39g3+)

724 Expectant mothers parking spaces and mommy and kids parking spaces.

Posted by: CaliGirl at July 21, 2017 07:34 PM (Ri/rl)

725
We hate the Bermuda Triangle.

Posted by: The other triangles at July 21, 2017 07:34 PM (r+sAi)

726 Posted by: JuJuBee at July 21, 2017 07:30 PM (2NqXo)

Yes; They've had them for years. Their last one lasted 15 years which I gather is old for the breed. My sister weighs 110 ponds because she eats one meal a day and is fanatic about taking the dogs for walks. They seem very good tempered dogs when i have been with them.

Posted by: FenelonSpoke at July 21, 2017 07:34 PM (iVOAv)

727 711 619 This habit among Millennials of using "literally" in just about every sentence, especially when there's no figurative
Posted by: kbdabear at July 21, 2017 07:20 PM (3i2nH)


Or "actually," as in "If you actually do this, you can actually make X happen. I actually couldn't believe how effective this actually is."
Posted by: Deplorable Jay Guevara at July 21, 2017 07:32 PM (SRKgf)


Ugh! You literally hate that, right?

Posted by: Ace's liver at July 21, 2017 07:34 PM (Xuv2G)

728 Sports fans who get mad when their team had a season that would be considered record setting and talked about for decades in any other program but is a failure when the comically error prone offense is led by a high school quarterback and single-game offensive coordinator and still only loses the national championship by four points in the last ten seconds of season.

Posted by: Hate Has No Homo at July 21, 2017 07:34 PM (psH+N)

729 Traffic. I hate all traffic. Especially when you are driving down a highway and suddenly someone pulls RIGHT OUT IN FRONT OF YOU and you slam on the brakes and look behind you to see if you are about to get rear ended but there is NOBODY BEHIND YOU FOR A MILE.
I want to kill those people. Happens to me almost every day.
The other thing is in the city when a light changes to green but NOBODY MOVES because they are all on their fucking phones so you miss the fucking light again.
And finally I really really hate it when you are discussing something with someone and they go off somewhere that makes no sense and you realize they have no idea what they are talking about but you have been telling yourself that you need to listen to them because you are certainly not as smart as you think you are except this idiot has been steering you wrong forever. And of course he/she has fucked up your life now but it is really your own fault for not trusting your own judgement in the first place. Then you have to remember they are a friend---just not so smart as you thought and figure how to act appropriately.

Well, I feel better. Who wants a drink?

Posted by: Daybrother at July 21, 2017 07:34 PM (Qz0zw)

730 "Baby on Board" window hangers.

Posted by: Insomniac, Professional Nobody at July 21, 2017 07:34 PM (0mRoj)

731 My grandfather would go nuts when he saw people eating with chopstix.

Of course, he fought in the Pacific in WWII.

Posted by: garrett at July 21, 2017 07:34 PM (beJsD)

732 722 I swear I'm not a grammar pedant and probably screw up on it up all the time myself, but it bugs me when college educated people use "I" or "myself" where "me" is correct. I think it annoys me because they're trying to be what they think is extra correct by avoiding "me" so it backfires on them.

Posted by: stace at July 21, 2017 07:34 PM (wH8rX)


I hate the wrong use of the reflexive, too.

Posted by: Jeff Weimer at July 21, 2017 07:34 PM (17QyB)

733 Today a hospital case manager tried to kill my mom by sending discharging her to a hellhole care facility and too soon to boot. I told her surgeon who was PISSED. He put a fuckin stop to that. Told them he won't sign off on that plan. But I nearly had to cut a bitch today. As it was I let the surgeon do it for me. Thank God. Pray my mom starts getting better, dad and I had to have the saddest talk today.

Posted by: Gushes hates hospitals and wants her kittehs at July 21, 2017 07:35 PM (KPYD5)

734 **what it's like inside most of the Horde's cars while they're driving**

On speakers: "one eight hundred, cars for ki--"

*sound of sledge hammer violently crashing into radio console*

Posted by: qdpsteve at July 21, 2017 07:35 PM (eMKNe)

735 724 Expectant mothers parking spaces and mommy and kids parking spaces.
Posted by: CaliGirl at July 21, 2017 07:34 PM (Ri/rl)


Is this a real thing?

Posted by: Ace's liver at July 21, 2017 07:35 PM (Xuv2G)

736 690 TV coverage of live sporting events that either cuts to commercials at inopportune times or spends more time showing talking heads or fluff pieces than the live event itself.
Posted by: Vendette


Or looooonnnng interviews with some asshole you don't know or care about and who has nothing interesting to say. Worse of all are the virtue signaling interviews, where they feature some do-gooder rabbiting on for 15 minutes about funding research for foreskin transplants or something.

Posted by: Deplorable Jay Guevara at July 21, 2017 07:35 PM (SRKgf)

737
Reason : Ball is not in live play behind the batter's box.
Posted by: Up the Irons! at July 21, 2017 07:32 PM (beJsD)


So why can base runners advance on a pass ball?

Posted by: John Podesta at July 21, 2017 07:35 PM (lKyWE)

738 Women who don't fix their undies or clothing that's ride up.
Fix it and fix it privately

Posted by: L, Elle at July 21, 2017 07:35 PM (Rsi2C)

739 I really hate Peak Nerd.

I liked nerd stuff when it was fairly rare. Now everything is #Nerdshit, and nerds won't shut up about it, and nerds are not cool about their nerdshit. It's always Turned Up to 11.

Posted by: ace at July 21, 2017 07:35 PM (8rNrN)

740 Lottery ticket winners that turn in their $10 winning ticket for 7 more $1 tickets and $3 worth of gas then stand there for 10 minutes deciding which $1 tickets they want.

Posted by: freaked at July 21, 2017 07:35 PM (BO/km)

741
Eating rice with two sticks is just dumb.

Posted by: Soothsayer --Digitally Remastered at July 21, 2017 07:35 PM (qbQhu)

742 People who pick a name for their kids when they are 13 years old then stick with it when the poor bastard is born at age 23. Ooh, I always wanted to name my son Ridge Cumberbund! Don't. Just, don't.

Posted by: Christopher R Taylor at July 21, 2017 07:36 PM (39g3+)

743 >>Yeah it is, the catcher catches a popup back there, its an out.


Pop up is over shoulder height. A tipped ball is only live after the 2nd strike.

Posted by: garrett at July 21, 2017 07:36 PM (beJsD)

744 Those clickbait web ads that start with "People were shocked when" or "People couldn't believe it when" or "Do these three things to" or that type of crap.

Posted by: Vendette at July 21, 2017 07:36 PM (ZZo2I)

745 People who tell you hard work and doing a good job are the keys to success, knowing full well that's bullshit.

Posted by: Insomniac, Professional Nobody at July 21, 2017 07:36 PM (0mRoj)

746 If it's common, it isn't Nerd. It's pop culture.

Posted by: WitchDoktor, AKA VA GOP Sucks at July 21, 2017 07:37 PM (2VN2E)

747 >>So why can base runners advance on a pass ball?


That's still a live pitch. A tipped ball is only live after strike 2.

Posted by: garrett at July 21, 2017 07:37 PM (beJsD)

748 Insomniac, true.

It seems to only work anymore for people who are good looking, already wealthy and have all the correct friends.

Posted by: qdpsteve at July 21, 2017 07:37 PM (eMKNe)

749 Working at a different small university today, Bernie car supporter besides a half dozen other bumber stickers one had My Cat is a Democrat, my thought was no it isn't, it follows the rules of the jungle

Posted by: Skip at July 21, 2017 07:37 PM (9g/6M)

750 **SAVE THE FOOD**

Posted by: garrett at July 21, 2017 07:37 PM (beJsD)

751 738 Women who don't fix their undies or clothing that's ride up.
Fix it and fix it privately
Posted by: L, Elle at July 21, 2017 07:35 PM (Rsi2C)

Visible panty lines.

Posted by: CaliGirl at July 21, 2017 07:38 PM (Ri/rl)

752 739 I really hate Peak Nerd.

I liked nerd stuff when it was fairly rare. Now everything is #Nerdshit, and nerds won't shut up about it, and nerds are not cool about their nerdshit. It's always Turned Up to 11.

Posted by: ace


Oh, dude, I KNOW what you're sayin'! Half the stuff I was ever interested in was ruined by Peak Nerd. Japanese popular culture? Fugeddaboutit. Weird astronomy discoveries? Spoiled.

Posted by: zombie at July 21, 2017 07:38 PM (DQ4Fv)

753 "Expectant mothers parking spaces and mommy and kids parking spaces. "

My mother says that if anyone needs exercise it's expectant mothers as she gleefully slides her car into those spots.

Posted by: Tuna at July 21, 2017 07:38 PM (jm1YL)

754 Sports fans that dress up and wear body paint. Save that shit and spectacle for Halloween, freaks

Posted by: L, Elle at July 21, 2017 07:38 PM (Rsi2C)

755 Being #720, no one will ever read this.

Posted by: sniffybigtoe at July 21, 2017 07:38 PM (Ipdmm)

756 279 I hate blackjack people on the cheap tables (which is where I can play).

Motherfuckers, I KNOW the strategy. It's fucking listed on the back of playing cards and takes ten minutes to master.

******

I know, right?

"why do you surrender, you're just giving the dealer money."

DUDE, I'll surrender any card at any time if I think I'm going to lose. Look, I'm going to surrender my 14 against an 7 right now.

Boom

Posted by: andrew jarbacka at July 21, 2017 07:38 PM (AU4SY)

757 I hate when people say mom or dad without the 'my' before it.

It's like your mom isn't my mom and I'm not so interested in your life that I like having your mom forced upon me and supplanting my own mom's name, mom. In fact, it makes me think you are very self absorbed.

Ex.

Mom called today.
My mom called today.

Posted by: Honey Roasted at July 21, 2017 07:38 PM (dEAeW)

758 I really hate Peak Nerd.

Yeah they're taking a giant crap all over everything I enjoy in life by turning it hipster. Shut the hell up about how much you love Game of Thrones, you never even watch the show. You know how I can tell? The highest rated showing in its history was 5% of the US population. FIVE PERCENT.

Posted by: Christopher R Taylor at July 21, 2017 07:38 PM (39g3+)

759 751. Thongs, ftw!

Posted by: Your Decidedly Devious Uncle Palpatine. All Honor & Glory to Kekistan! at July 21, 2017 07:38 PM (fA1SL)

760 Expectant mothers parking spaces and mommy and kids parking spaces.
Posted by: CaliGirl at July 21, 2017 07:34 PM (Ri/rl)


Or "Hybrid Only"

I was confronted in a Fresh N Easy by the self-appointed hybrid policeman after parking my non-hybrid full-size land yacht with a twin turbo V8 in the hybrid space. I was on the way home from drinking with some friends.

The encounter didn't end well for ponytail guy.

Posted by: Cicero (@cicero) at July 21, 2017 07:38 PM (Mouru)

761 The other day I was on the highway and saw a red corvette with a handicap plate. And I don't mean the thing you hand from the rear view mirror....it was on the license plate. I said to my husband WTF? You're handicapped but driving a car one foot off the ground?


As we pass him it was a rather obese, fairly young, guy.


Posted by: Tami, Public Ineffectual at July 21, 2017 07:38 PM (Enq6K)

762 Well, there's. ..

*looks around. Parkland behind chez mouse, steaks cooking, and did I mention Texas? *

I'm good.

Posted by: Anon a mouse... at July 21, 2017 07:38 PM (MINbv)

763 ... when college educated people use "I" or "myself" where "me" is correct. I think it annoys me because they're trying to be what they think is extra correct by avoiding "me" so it backfires on them.

Posted by: stace
________

That goes triple (treble?) for people who use "whom" or "whomever" in the subjective case.

Posted by: FireHorse at July 21, 2017 07:39 PM (zkGZ8)

764 After all some people remember when there were
horses and no stoplights and city hall was a tent. Times change. And
some phone always rings during the service. And these people don't know
how to sing. Posted by: Bill sometimes Bill formerly from Canada at July 21, 2017 06:50 PM (JQ5d4)
=====

Thank you. Made me laugh on a steamy stormy night. Are you from my little parish/city? The singing is painful.

Posted by: mustbequantum at July 21, 2017 07:39 PM (MIKMs)

765 Yes; They've had them for years. Their last one lasted 15 years which I gather is old for the breed. My sister weighs 110 ponds because she eats one meal a day and is fanatic about taking the dogs for walks. They seem very good tempered dogs when i have been with them.
Posted by: FenelonSpoke at July 21, 2017 07:34 PM (iVOAv)

Wow, 15 years! The average lifespan is 8-9 years. That's amazing and I hope our poochie goes way past that.

Posted by: JuJuBee at July 21, 2017 07:39 PM (2NqXo)

766 It's been in the 90s all week. I hate this bloody heat and humidity.

Posted by: rickl at July 21, 2017 07:39 PM (sdi6R)

767 Soccer

Posted by: Skip at July 21, 2017 07:39 PM (9g/6M)

768 744 Those clickbait web ads that start with "People were shocked when" or "People couldn't believe it when" or "Do these three things to" or that type of crap.

Ace posted a blog asking Horde members what their minor annoyances were and you won't believe what happened next!

Posted by: Malcolm Tent at July 21, 2017 07:39 PM (Kd2ow)

769 It seems to only work anymore for people who are good looking, already wealthy and have all the correct friends.
Posted by: qdpsteve at July 21, 2017 07:37 PM (eMKNe)

That last part especially.

Posted by: Insomniac, Professional Nobody at July 21, 2017 07:39 PM (0mRoj)

770 I also hate posting to ace on dad's kindle fire. I'm waiting for Grimm to get here. There's this large Hispanic family with nine little kids in this hospital waiting room and I am skeeved out by the lack of hygiene. If course they touch all surfaces, everything.

Posted by: Gushka hates hospitals and wants her kittehs at July 21, 2017 07:39 PM (KPYD5)

771 724
Expectant mothers parking spaces and mommy and kids parking spaces.

Posted by: CaliGirl at July 21, 2017 07:34 PM (Ri/rl)

It's not a law but a courtesy so I say "Fuck 'em" and park there.

Posted by: Monkfish at July 21, 2017 07:39 PM (7ciu+)

772 >>Sports fans that dress up and wear body paint. Save that shit and spectacle for Halloween, freaks


Gotta Support the Team, Babe.

Posted by: David Putty at July 21, 2017 07:39 PM (beJsD)

773 Expectant mothers parking spaces and mommy and kids parking spaces.
Posted by: CaliGirl at July 21, 2017 07:34 PM (Ri/rl)

Is this a real thing?
Posted by: Ace's liver



Yes. Have one in my building at work.

Posted by: rickb223 at July 21, 2017 07:39 PM (W4LFA)

774 Bicyclist outfits. They're gay

Posted by: L, Elle at July 21, 2017 07:39 PM (Rsi2C)

775 I haven't read all the comments but wonder has anyone brought that up?

Posted by: Skip at July 21, 2017 07:40 PM (9g/6M)

776 752. Fvcking normies.

Posted by: Your Decidedly Devious Uncle Palpatine. All Honor & Glory to Kekistan! at July 21, 2017 07:40 PM (fA1SL)

777 C*rb*n.

Posted by: Al Gore at July 21, 2017 07:40 PM (xAvrH)

778 Dragging my ass down to a business. Standing there conducting, you know, business. Phone rings. Non ass-dragger gets waited on before my draggy ass. Pisses me off. If it's not vital, I haul my ass out and have a time or two let the business know how much it chaps my drag-ass ass.

Posted by: ObjectionSustained at July 21, 2017 07:40 PM (lpmwO)

779 A tipped ball is only live after the 2nd strike.

And why? Because they don't want a tipped ball to count. Because it would lower batting averages and be tougher to call. This isn't some grander rule scheme, they did it on purpose and it makes no sense. Its an exception to the entire rest of the rule book, just because.

Posted by: Christopher R Taylor at July 21, 2017 07:40 PM (39g3+)

780 Ooh, I always wanted to name my son Ridge Cumberbund! Don't. Just, don't.
--------------

Asshole.

Posted by: Ridge Ledarius Cumberbund III at July 21, 2017 07:40 PM (rv0Fo)

781 People who say, "I myself personally..." Triple redundancy.

Posted by: JuJuBee at July 21, 2017 07:40 PM (2NqXo)

782 To be fair about GoT, the recent episode had 90 million illegal downloads its estimated.

Via Drudge headline.

Posted by: Widespread Pepe at July 21, 2017 07:40 PM (2qHjF)

783 osted by: JuJuBee at July 21, 2017 07:39 PM (2NqXo)

Enjoy your pup! They are beautiful dogs too.

Posted by: FenelonSpoke at July 21, 2017 07:41 PM (iVOAv)

784 Air guitar

Posted by: L, Elle at July 21, 2017 07:41 PM (Rsi2C)

785 People that drive in the left lane slower than traffic drive menuts. If I'm in my truck with a trailer I will swerve like I am going to whack them with it after I have to pass them on the right.

Posted by: freaked at July 21, 2017 07:41 PM (BO/km)

786 Is this a real thing?
Posted by: Ace's liver

Shop Rite near me has them.

Posted by: JuJuBee at July 21, 2017 07:41 PM (2NqXo)

787 768. 'You wont believe what Comment 650 was!'

Posted by: Your Decidedly Devious Uncle Palpatine. All Honor & Glory to Kekistan! at July 21, 2017 07:41 PM (fA1SL)

788
Those super small sugar ants (because we had an invasion) and they are too good to eat just regular ant bait because of their thin waistlines and uppity elitism or something and so you have to bag and seal all your food until you can find every last one of those bastards with a microscope and send them to the fires of HELL !!

ok I'm better now.

Posted by: Guy Mohawk at July 21, 2017 07:41 PM (r+sAi)

789 744 Those clickbait web ads that start with
"People were shocked when" or "People couldn't believe it when" or "Do
these three things to" or that type of crap.



Ace posted a blog asking Horde members what their minor annoyances were and you won't believe what happened next!

Posted by: Malcolm Tent at July 21, 2017 07:39 PM (Kd2ow)


Posted by: Vendette at July 21, 2017 07:41 PM (ZZo2I)

790 Pray my mom starts getting better, dad and I had to have the saddest talk today.

Posted by: Gushes hates hospitals and wants her kittehs at July 21, 2017 07:35 PM (KPYD5)


Prayers up for you all, Gushka!

Posted by: Hrothgar at July 21, 2017 07:42 PM (gwPgz)

791 I really hate when people point out to me like I'm an idiot that there's something wrong with my Stalin's eye like I'm dumb and they know something. Yes, it's GONE been that way for 14 years. It's kinda obvious.

Posted by: Gushka hates hospitals and wants her kittehs at July 21, 2017 07:42 PM (KPYD5)

792 Marionettes and puppets

Posted by: L, Elle at July 21, 2017 07:42 PM (Rsi2C)

793 Laugh Tracks. I hate laugh tracks, with a passion. They are used as a sweetener, a signal: you are supposed to think this is funny. They aren't real entertainment, they are crap packaged to make it seem as if its actually entertaining.

Posted by: Christopher R Taylor at July 21, 2017 07:42 PM (39g3+)

794 The Washington Nationals bullpen. They would turn Mother Theresa into a homicidal maniac.

Posted by: JTB at July 21, 2017 07:42 PM (V+03K)

795 People who think Eddie Van Halen is a great guitar player.

Posted by: JuJuBee at July 21, 2017 07:42 PM (2NqXo)

796 Prayers up for you all, Gushka!
Posted by: Hrothgar at July 21, 2017 07:42 PM (gwPgz)


Thanks H

Posted by: Gushka hates hospitals and wants her kittehs at July 21, 2017 07:42 PM (KPYD5)

797 Ventriloquists

Posted by: L, Elle at July 21, 2017 07:43 PM (Rsi2C)

798
I hate when businesses think that it's appropriate to try to spend a shitload of time trying to up-sell me while I'm standing in front of the register. A polite question followed by my polite "no" is fine. But don't fucking berate me and try to talk me into it, especially when there's a line of 5 people behind me.

Vons was fucking awful with this if you didn't have a gorram Vons Card. It wasn't enough to say you didn't want a card, you practically had to grab them by the earlobe and smash their face into the scanner and scream "JUST RING UP MY GROCERIES, PLEASE. YOU ANNOYING LITTLE COCKSUCKER."

Posted by: IllTemperedCur at July 21, 2017 07:43 PM (iFZVz)

799 Indian guys with their disgusting feet shoved into sandals.

Posted by: Steve and Cold Bear at July 21, 2017 07:43 PM (xAvrH)

800 791 I really hate when people point out to me like I'm an idiot that there's something wrong with my Stalin's eye like I'm dumb and they know something. Yes, it's GONE been that way for 14 years. It's kinda obvious.
Posted by: Gushka hates hospitals and wants her kittehs at July 21, 2017 07:42 PM (KPYD5)

Does the Kremlin know you have Stalin's eye?

Posted by: Insomniac, Professional Nobody at July 21, 2017 07:43 PM (0mRoj)

801 That I really should get up st 0330hrs tomorrow

Posted by: Skip at July 21, 2017 07:43 PM (9g/6M)

802 Fake eyelashes and fake nails

Posted by: L, Elle at July 21, 2017 07:43 PM (Rsi2C)

803 Ghetto mothers who insert apostrophes into their newborns names, mostly because they don't know how to spell the real name. Examples I have seen in the last year:

D'metrius
Quan'trell
L'Nisha
M'layzia

Posted by: zombie at July 21, 2017 07:44 PM (DQ4Fv)

804
People who tell you hard work and doing a good job are the keys to success, knowing full well that's bullshit.
---

Oh, that's another good on Insomniac.

Posted by: shibumi at July 21, 2017 07:44 PM (aT+Bx)

805 Re: GorillaPundit's complaint: The problem with knowledge is that it's very difficult to explain how it's possible for anyone to know anything. But the problem with skepticism is that it is utterly unlivable, and completely parasitic on the veridicality of knowledge and reason.

Posted by: Jim S. at July 21, 2017 07:44 PM (ynUnH)

806 It's been in the 90s all week.


Really? I only saw one "things from the 90s" comment thread.

Posted by: Bandersnatch at July 21, 2017 07:44 PM (gIRsn)

807 ITC, LOL.

Remember the story years ago about the guy who wanted to cancel his AOL account?

Posted by: qdpsteve at July 21, 2017 07:44 PM (eMKNe)

808 Gushes @ 733 --

I hope things take a turn for the better.

(The Horde will be here all weekend. We sort of do this in shifts.)

Posted by: FireHorse at July 21, 2017 07:44 PM (zkGZ8)

809 >>And why? Because they don't want a tipped ball to count. Because it would lower batting averages and be tougher to call. This isn't some grander rule scheme, they did it on purpose and it makes no sense. Its an exception to the entire rest of the rule book, just because.


Not at all. That rule is ancient. At no point in baseball history has a 1st or 2nd strike tip been a live ball. Only when it goes past home plate is it considered live on the 1st 2 strikes.

If they were worried about avg. they wouldn't allow foul balls to be caught / fielded for outs.

Posted by: David Putty at July 21, 2017 07:44 PM (beJsD)

810 Abbreviated tween language.

I totes supes hate it.

Posted by: Malcolm Tent at July 21, 2017 07:44 PM (Kd2ow)

811 Happy Bday Gushka

Make a wish and blow out all 29 candles!

Posted by: L, Elle at July 21, 2017 07:45 PM (Rsi2C)

812 Tattoos

Posted by: garrett at July 21, 2017 07:45 PM (beJsD)

813 The Washington Nationals bullpen. They would turn Mother Theresa into a homicidal maniac.

Yeah that's exactly what I had in mind above. Good lord, how can you be that bad? And yet, pull that pitcher for them, at a certain count, no matter what! Matt Harvey can pitch that crappy too at 120 pitches, why yank him? Leave them in, they can't possibly be worse.

I swear Terry Collins is going to come out of that dugout with a bat in each hand some day. They're gonna pull him off a reliever covered in blood and teeth

Posted by: Christopher R Taylor at July 21, 2017 07:45 PM (39g3+)

814 I've noticed that people with the loudest stereos have the absolute worst taste in fucking music.

And somebody posted as Tushar up there, but that can't really be Tushar, because he hasn't posted a comment in at least ten years.

Posted by: Cloyd Freud, Unemployed at July 21, 2017 07:45 PM (398bZ)

815
People who jog in the street. I guess the sidewalks are too rough on their feet

Posted by: TheQuietMan at July 21, 2017 07:45 PM (auHtY)

816 After all some people remember when there were
horses and no stoplights and city hall was a tent.



When? Was?
Hell, the town my dad was born in, (1935), you had to go to the next town over to get your mail. Funny thing? In 2017, you still do.

Posted by: rickb223 at July 21, 2017 07:45 PM (W4LFA)

817 Jack Straw,
It's been happening the opposite in women's clothes for past 15-20 years. I used to be size 2, now they make Double 00 & they are bigger than 20 year old size 2's that still fit. Some things I'd take a size 4 or 6, but I have small hips and you can't make hips grow in size.

I used to wear shorts out in rose garden but my legs were a cut up mess and also filthy. Now I wear Hue light demon type leggings (only at end of season for the next year) & legs still cut are cut up but not as bad as when I wore shorts.

Posted by: Carol at July 21, 2017 07:45 PM (NKOy9)

818 Gushka, prayers for you and your momma.

Posted by: Colorado Alex In Exile at July 21, 2017 07:45 PM (Tnhbr)

819 Marionettes and puppets
Posted by: L, Elle at July 21, 2017 07:42 PM (Rsi2C)

Dunno if you read romance novels but there's a funny one where the hero is scared to death of puppets. Since the Surrender by Julie Ann Long.

Posted by: JuJuBee at July 21, 2017 07:45 PM (2NqXo)

820 Yes, Happy Birthday Gushka!

Hope you and the kittehs and the other animals have many more together!

Posted by: shibumi at July 21, 2017 07:46 PM (aT+Bx)

821 786 Is this a real thing?
Posted by: Ace's liver

Shop Rite near me has them.
Posted by: JuJuBee at July 21, 2017 07:41 PM (2NqXo)


I almost pulled into one at Wegman's tonight.

Posted by: rickl at July 21, 2017 07:46 PM (sdi6R)

822 Camouflage if you're not hunting, going hunting, or returning from hunting. The only thing worse is that "dress" camo has somehow become a thing.

Posted by: Hate Has No Homo at July 21, 2017 07:46 PM (psH+N)

823 I had to snap at a Barnes and Noble clerk. I was buying a $5 bible. Clerk asks me for my club number. I say I don't have one. He starts in on how much money I can save, and I stop him and say no thanks.

He then continues all the data entry that seems to be required at retail stores these days, then says "your email address...?" I say "I just want to buy the book." He looks miffed.

So that's an annoyance - people who get annoyed when you get annoyed by their BS.

Posted by: WitchDoktor, AKA VA GOP Sucks at July 21, 2017 07:46 PM (2VN2E)

824 797. I dunno. This is a pretty good act:

https://youtu.be/lxplpDKx_Qk

Posted by: Your Decidedly Devious Uncle Palpatine. All Honor & Glory to Kekistan! at July 21, 2017 07:46 PM (fA1SL)

825 Expensive water. Buy a filter and rink for the tap, dumbasses

Posted by: L, Elle at July 21, 2017 07:46 PM (Rsi2C)

826 Hating things about myself that I can't change.

Posted by: Insomniac, Professional Nobody at July 21, 2017 07:46 PM (0mRoj)

827 Gotta Support the Team, Babe.

Posted by: David Putty at July 21, 2017 07:39 PM (beJsD)

El Diablo! El Diablo!

Posted by: Tami, Public Ineffectual at July 21, 2017 07:46 PM (Enq6K)

828 (*** takes a quick break from kvetching ***)

I really like Gorilla Pundit.

(*** back to kvetching ***)

Posted by: FireHorse at July 21, 2017 07:46 PM (zkGZ8)

829 Laughing out loud in public over something you heard or read the night before. Annoying because you wind up looking like a lunatic or a batman villain.

I've been laughing all day over a /pol thread about a Tinder post where a 42 year old woman said she was interested in : open minded, a dog lover, and loves knotting.
Damnit! I'm laughing again.

Posted by: Widespread Pepe at July 21, 2017 07:46 PM (2qHjF)

830 If they were worried about avg. they wouldn't allow foul balls to be caught / fielded for outs.

Here's a homework assignment. Count how many tipped balls a catcher catches in a series, 3 games. Count how many foul balls are caught.

Get back to me when you realize the difference that would make in batting averages. The rule is there to help batters, period.

Posted by: Christopher R Taylor at July 21, 2017 07:46 PM (39g3+)

831 People who double park in an event parking lot when they're going to see a game or a concert. Not because they NEED to double park, or have a really nice car, but becuase they just feel they deserve two spaces.

Posted by: shibumi at July 21, 2017 07:47 PM (aT+Bx)

832 Happy Birthday, Gushka!

Posted by: rickl at July 21, 2017 07:47 PM (sdi6R)

833 I really hate it when glue sticks to my scissors.

I mean it's the god damn 21st century and I've got scissors with glue on them.

You'd think someone would get on that.

Posted by: Honey Roasted at July 21, 2017 07:48 PM (dEAeW)

834 Camouflage if you're not hunting, going hunting, or returning from hunting. The only thing worse is that "dress" camo has somehow become a thing.
Posted by: Hate Has No Homo at July 21, 2017 07:46 PM (psH+N)
-----------------------------------

I know. The forces just love their BDU's though.

Posted by: RioBravo at July 21, 2017 07:48 PM (OmhcY)

835 Whenever I am asked to create a password that must include at least 8
characters, a minimum amount of numbers, an uppercase, and a symbol.


May we suggest 'abc123'?

Posted by: The Rooskie Hackers at July 21, 2017 07:48 PM (Tyii7)

836 *drink from the tap.

I'm tired

Posted by: L, Elle at July 21, 2017 07:48 PM (Rsi2C)

837 Tattoos


Posted by: garrett


Fuck you, pal.

Posted by: Herve Villechaize at July 21, 2017 07:48 PM (56mx9)

838 WitchDoctor, LOL.

Here's your answer to the email question: "Yes, it's ijustwanttobuythisbook@fu.com."

Posted by: qdpsteve at July 21, 2017 07:48 PM (eMKNe)

839 812 - other day in grocery store saw a very cute young mom with maybe 2 year old in cart inked up all over and thought Why?

Posted by: Skip at July 21, 2017 07:48 PM (9g/6M)

840 Raindrops on roses and whiskers on kittens.

Posted by: Bizarro Julie Andrews at July 21, 2017 07:49 PM (xAvrH)

841 794
The Washington Nationals bullpen. They would turn Mother Theresa into a homicidal maniac.

Posted by: JTB at July 21, 2017 07:42 PM (V+03K)

Oh no, no, no, no.....I give you....Trevor Rosenthal. He's gotta have pics of Matheny in a compromising position or something.

Posted by: Tami, Public Ineffectual at July 21, 2017 07:49 PM (Enq6K)

842 >>Hating things about myself that I can't change.


You may not ever be able to get your dick in your mouth...but, sooner or later you will be able to suck on your own balls.

Posted by: Grandpa always said... at July 21, 2017 07:49 PM (beJsD)

843 839 812 - other day in grocery store saw a very cute young mom with maybe 2 year old in cart inked up all over and thought Why?
Posted by: Skip at July 21, 2017 07:48 PM (9g/6M)

Tattooing a toddler is barbaric.

Posted by: Insomniac, Professional Nobody at July 21, 2017 07:49 PM (0mRoj)

844 Fake doom.

I'm really tired of "global warming is going kill us," "SMOD is coming," "Fukishima will kill the Pacific," "RUSSIA!" NORKS!!!"

Posted by: shibumi at July 21, 2017 07:49 PM (aT+Bx)

845 Camouflage if you're not hunting, going hunting, or returning from hunting. The only thing worse is that "dress" camo has somehow become a thing.



After 35 years, I have no camo that fits. FML. And I'm out hunting every other weekend.

Posted by: rickb223 at July 21, 2017 07:49 PM (W4LFA)

846 Ragged old Hondas with fart cans mufflers.

Posted by: freaked at July 21, 2017 07:49 PM (BO/km)

847 826.
*pats Sleepless One on the shoulder*

That's all right, sport! We hate those things about you, too.

Posted by: Your Decidedly Devious Uncle Palpatine. All Honor & Glory to Kekistan! at July 21, 2017 07:49 PM (fA1SL)

848 a 42 year old woman said she was interested in : open minded, a dog lover, and loves knotting.

I surely hope she meant "knitting" although on tinder...

Posted by: Christopher R Taylor at July 21, 2017 07:49 PM (39g3+)

849 Whenever our society replaced fat with "curvy."

Curves require inward shapes. Spheres are curved but they are not curvy.

Posted by: Hate Has No Homo at July 21, 2017 07:50 PM (psH+N)

850 595 > 569 At least you know who they are responding to.

Its the people that only give the comment number that are really annoying.

----
Yep, they're the worst!

Posted by: fedup at July 21, 2017 07:50 PM (OkKDg)

851 The white American girl wearing a burka and carrying an infant
wearing camo baby clothes at the supermarket.

Posted by: Monkfish at July 21, 2017 07:50 PM (7ciu+)

852 That's all right, sport! We hate those things about you, too.
Posted by: Your Decidedly Devious Uncle Palpatine. All Honor & Glory to Kekistan! at July 21, 2017 07:49 PM (fA1SL)

I knew I could count on you.

Dick.

Posted by: Insomniac, Professional Nobody at July 21, 2017 07:50 PM (0mRoj)

853 one had My Cat is a Democrat, my thought was no it isn't, it follows the rules of the jungle
-----

Theres this bint I work with who has one that says "My dog is a Democrat."

I thought to myself, "Duh, of course it is. It lays on its ass all day, waiting for someone to take care of it."

Posted by: Bicentennialguy at July 21, 2017 07:50 PM (nILVB)

854 "Ghetto mothers who insert apostrophes into their newborns names, mostly because they don't know how to spell the real name. Examples I have seen in the last year: "

My sister used to work for a children's hospital. Those gals get all huffy if you ask them how their kids' n Ames are spelled. She finally said fcuk it and started spelling them any way she wanted.

Posted by: Tuna at July 21, 2017 07:50 PM (jm1YL)

855 Clothing for doggies and kitties. Stop that. They have built in fur coats! Nothing else is required and is just mean and makes them look stupid

Posted by: L, Elle at July 21, 2017 07:50 PM (Rsi2C)

856 other day in grocery store saw a very cute young mom with maybe 2 year old in cart inked up all over and thought Why?

Posted by: Skip at July 21, 2017 07:48 PM (9g/6M)



Saw that at the gas station tonight. She's got the kid in the car seat. Her arms are covered in tattoos and she's slathering make up all over her face. Classy

Posted by: TheQuietMan at July 21, 2017 07:51 PM (auHtY)

857 ATM machines that ask too many questions when I'm done with my transaction.

On and on it goes. Do you want print, email, or print and email receipt? Do you want the check image?

NO, and I don't want a large fries or a drink, either. Gimme my receipt so I can get on with my day!

Posted by: JuJuBee at July 21, 2017 07:51 PM (2NqXo)

858 The fat acceptance/glorification movement.

Posted by: Insomniac, Professional Nobody at July 21, 2017 07:51 PM (0mRoj)

859 Tattoos don't bother me, but do wonder why do you need them over 1/2 you skin showing or that Tramp stamp.
My grandfather had a couple so wasn't anything I didn't know about.

Posted by: Skip at July 21, 2017 07:51 PM (9g/6M)

860 So the Minneapolis Police Chief resigning.

And the Mayor losing confidence in her.


Gonna make an interesting movie.

Posted by: Village Idiot's Apprentice at July 21, 2017 07:51 PM (J+eG2)

861 Fat praising:

"OMG, isn't that morbidly obese woman in the bikini beautiful?"

liberal praising:

"OMG, aren't Michelle Obama and Hillary Clinton the most beautiful women that ever lived in the history of time immortal? "

Posted by: shibumi at July 21, 2017 07:51 PM (aT+Bx)

862 And when did the word 'imporTant' become the word 'imporDant'?

Because I didn't get a vote on the matter.

Posted by: Honey Roasted at July 21, 2017 07:51 PM (dEAeW)

863 I'm hoping this tat craze goes away soon. Please, God. Its so bad seeing a pretty girl, sunny and bright smile on her face, so sweet... with sleeves of crap all over her arms. Just... no. Its like stamping emojis all over the Mona Lisa. Why would you want to look like a heroin addict that works the pole nights to pay for her deadbeat boyfriend's habits?

Posted by: Christopher R Taylor at July 21, 2017 07:51 PM (39g3+)

864 852. Doing my part, my dude.

Posted by: Your Decidedly Devious Uncle Palpatine. All Honor & Glory to Kekistan! at July 21, 2017 07:52 PM (fA1SL)

865 So what are the Horde opinions on Valerian and Dunkirk?

Posted by: Anna Puma (HQCaR) at July 21, 2017 07:52 PM (An780)

866 Theres this bint I work with who has one that says "My dog is a Democrat."



I thought to myself, "Duh, of course it is. It lays on its ass all day, waiting for someone to take care of it."

Posted by: Bicentennialguy at July 21, 2017 07:50 PM (nILVB)

I saw a very green VW bug that had one that said: "Jesus was a Liberal".
I tried to run it into a ditch but my friend stopped me. We're no longer friends.

Posted by: Tami, Public Ineffectual at July 21, 2017 07:52 PM (Enq6K)

867 Deja vu annoys me

Posted by: Malcolm Tent at July 21, 2017 07:52 PM (Kd2ow)

868 Oh, man. You're trying to trick me into getting banned, aren't you?

Posted by: Adolf Hitler at July 21, 2017 07:52 PM (xAvrH)

869 Anna, everybody seems to love Dunkirk sexually.

Not kidding, it's getting raves everywhere I look.

Posted by: qdpsteve at July 21, 2017 07:52 PM (eMKNe)

870 >>The rule is there to help batters, period.


This guy. I hate this guy.

Posted by: Zombie Abner Doubleday at July 21, 2017 07:52 PM (beJsD)

871
I surely hope she meant "knitting" although on tinder...
Posted by: Christopher R Taylor at July 21, 2017 07:49 PM (39g3+)


I think the open minded part means she's not talking about knitting

Posted by: John Podesta at July 21, 2017 07:53 PM (lKyWE)

872 What annoys me is people who treat any appeal to authority as if it were a fallacy of appealing to authority. Some appeals to authority are appropriate and constitute valid, although extremely weak, arguments. Fallacious appeals to authority are when the authority is invalid in some way -- where the authority appealed to is not an authority on the subject in question for example. This is all under the rubric of inductive logic.

Posted by: Jim S. at July 21, 2017 07:53 PM (ynUnH)

873 "851 The white American girl wearing a burka and carrying an infant
wearing camo baby clothes at the supermarket."

I hate seeing white girls in burkas period.

Posted by: Tuna at July 21, 2017 07:53 PM (jm1YL)

874
Ghetto mothers who insert apostrophes into their newborns names, mostly
because they don't know how to spell the real name. Examples I have seen
in the last year:

=====

Dearest zombie: those moms are giving their kids a solid ongoing gift because most state-federal-city databases can't handle apostrophes. Of course, that also applies to the Irish using the O' or the Scots using the M'. A really cool name game is the hispanic mother's maiden name 'y' father's name. Makes anglocentric databases crazy and a hispanic name can go through many iterations before one of them sticks.

Posted by: mustbequantum at July 21, 2017 07:53 PM (MIKMs)

875
The automated sales calls that try to sound like a real person.

I get getting those that say they're calling because I've stayed at their resort. WRONG. I've never stayed at a resort.

Posted by: Bertram Cabot, Jr. at July 21, 2017 07:53 PM (IqV8l)

876 know. The forces just love their BDU's though.

Posted by: RioBravo at July 21, 2017 07:48 PM

---

People who know exactly what is being talked about but still decide they need to...

Posted by: Hate Has No Homo at July 21, 2017 07:53 PM (psH+N)

877 Spouse and son went to Dunkirk tonight. Enjoyed it a lot-said the action was non stop.

Posted by: FenelonSpoke at July 21, 2017 07:53 PM (iVOAv)

878 Dunkirk is supposed to be really good, genuinely so. Valerian I don't know and I wouldn't trust the reviews because I don't think reviewers liked Fifth Element and they just didn't grok it.

Posted by: Christopher R Taylor at July 21, 2017 07:54 PM (39g3+)

879 Working tomorrow but hopefully seeing Dunkirk next weekend

Posted by: Skip at July 21, 2017 07:54 PM (9g/6M)

880 858. You'll get a kick outta this, then.

https://youtu.be/X13TGElQ9Ic

Posted by: Your Decidedly Devious Uncle Palpatine. All Honor & Glory to Kekistan! at July 21, 2017 07:54 PM (fA1SL)

881 when someone uses the last of the coffee and I find out when i'm attempting to make a pot in the morning.

another? When I do a final cleanup of the kitchen Before I go to bed and wake up to dishes! and No One will admit they did it!

Posted by: willow at July 21, 2017 07:54 PM (v12G8)

882 The Fat Glorification movement is for women only. Men are all expected to be 6'2" and built like 2003 Wolverine. And the fatties believe they are entitled to those men while the other 95% of us work like slaves and pay taxes to support their offspring.

Posted by: Widespread Pepe at July 21, 2017 07:54 PM (2qHjF)

883 So the Minneapolis Police Chief resigning.



Why? She didn't shoot the lady.

Posted by: rickb223 at July 21, 2017 07:54 PM (W4LFA)

884 Prayers for you and your family Gushka. Kittehs what play fetch too of course.

Posted by: Daybrother at July 21, 2017 07:54 PM (Qz0zw)

885 I agree about the tat craze. I've tried to get past my own upbringing about it, since my parents were ardently anti-tat. But it stopped being counter culture some time ago. And then there are those fake Kanji tattoos that supposedly mean "hope" but actually say "Gaijin Dumbass."

Posted by: WitchDoktor, AKA VA GOP Sucks at July 21, 2017 07:54 PM (2VN2E)

886 Honey Roasted,
Try nail polish remover.

I have ink stain on my light leather car interior, car is 6 years old, but I don't want grey leather stained. I was told to try acetone - same as nail polish remover. I'm afraid to try on the seat. I wouldn't be afraid to use on scissors.

Posted by: Carol at July 21, 2017 07:54 PM (NKOy9)

887 678 The Kars for Kids jingle.
____________________

I have vowed to never donate to their charity, never. When I here the first note I immediately change the station.
Actually, I pretty much hate listening to kids sing, they're usually always awful.

Posted by: BuckIV at July 21, 2017 07:54 PM (CLfqv)

888
DVDs that don't allow you to skip past all the previews and advertisements.

Posted by: Krebs v Carnot: Epic Battle of the Cycling Stars (TM) at July 21, 2017 07:55 PM (pNxlR)

889 Someone here, dang! can't remember who -- found Dunkirk Meh, Anna. For good reasons. I'll try to go back and find the comment. On a couple threads back

Posted by: L, Elle at July 21, 2017 07:55 PM (Rsi2C)

890 Janee* Harteau who is the Minneapolis Police Chief is resigning?

*Put an accent over the last e.

Posted by: Anna Puma (HQCaR) at July 21, 2017 07:55 PM (An780)

891 and fgs don't Ever leave shoes in the living area.

Posted by: willow at July 21, 2017 07:55 PM (v12G8)

892 hmm, I guess I have a list of complaints...unsaid in reality

Posted by: willow at July 21, 2017 07:56 PM (v12G8)

893 It might be Rotten Tomatoes were Dunkirk is running off the charts

Posted by: Skip at July 21, 2017 07:56 PM (9g/6M)

894
Hmmm, I'm gonna put "knotting" into urban dictionary and pornhub and see what pops up....

Posted by: publius, the Persistent Poperin Pear at July 21, 2017 07:56 PM (8O3HH)

895 I've got a dad bod, but I don't let myself go completely. I try to eat low carb and IF, lift weights several times a week, and run several times a week. I don't mind if a girl has some curves, or a bit of extra poundage, if she takes care of herself, dresses appropriately, and tries to maintain her health.

That said, the fat acceptance movement has encouraged women to let themselves become morbidly obese. It's saddening.

Posted by: Colorado Alex In Exile at July 21, 2017 07:56 PM (Tnhbr)

896 When people use "begs the question" to mean "forces us to ask". Wrong wrong wrong wrong wrong wrong wrong.

Posted by: Jim S. at July 21, 2017 07:56 PM (ynUnH)

897 888


DVDs that don't allow you to skip past all the previews and advertisements.

Posted by: Krebs v Carnot: Epic Battle of the Cycling Stars (TM) at July 21, 2017 07:55 PM (pNxlR)

I got one like that from Netflix once. I was so pissed I took it out and didn't even watch the movie.

Posted by: Mark1971 at July 21, 2017 07:56 PM (xPl2J)

898 And then there are those fake Kanji tattoos that supposedly mean "hope" but actually say




"Soup"

Posted by: rickb223 at July 21, 2017 07:56 PM (W4LFA)

899 And when did the word 'imporTant' become the word 'imporDant'?

Posted by: Honey Roasted
________

Where I'm from, it's always been 'importnt'.

Posted by: FireHorse at July 21, 2017 07:56 PM (zkGZ8)

900 guys that see me in the yard that get out of their trucks and lean on my automatic gate.

Posted by: concrete girl at July 21, 2017 07:57 PM (CAbep)

901 Minneapolis Police Chief thread.

https://www.weaselzippers.us/?p=349921

Posted by: Village Idiot's Apprentice at July 21, 2017 07:57 PM (J+eG2)

902 The rule is there to help batters, period.

----------------------------------

http://preview.tinyurl.com/jxjlo8k

Posted by: RioBravo at July 21, 2017 07:57 PM (OmhcY)

903 Girls who bump my elbows with their boobs in a crowded bar

Posted by: kbdabear at July 21, 2017 07:57 PM (3i2nH)

904 891. Leave them on the mat by the entry.

Posted by: Your Decidedly Devious Uncle Palpatine. All Honor & Glory to Kekistan! at July 21, 2017 07:57 PM (fA1SL)

905 Laugh Tracks. I hate laugh tracks, with a passion. They are used as a sweetener, a signal: you are supposed to think this is funny. They aren't real entertainment, they are crap packaged to make it seem as if its actually entertaining.

Posted by: Christopher R Taylor at July 21, 2017 07:42 PM (39g3+)



I'd like Scream Tracks. So, I know when somethings scary.

Posted by: naturalfake at July 21, 2017 07:58 PM (NyJwR)

906 It really annoys me that we just can't have a Moaning thread ...

Posted by: ShainS at July 21, 2017 07:58 PM (ZcAbN)

907 Discover the forest

Posted by: Bertram Cabot, Jr. at July 21, 2017 07:58 PM (IqV8l)

908
Oh sweet Jesus, "knotting". She did say she was a dog lover.......

Look up knotting on urban dictionary.

Posted by: publius, the Persistent Poperin Pear at July 21, 2017 07:58 PM (8O3HH)

909 I saw a guy at the beach with a tramp stamp. Family man, 35 or so. Playing with his kids.

I've made some bad decisions in my life, but thank goodness I as a male never decided to get a tramp stamp.

Posted by: Hate Has No Homo at July 21, 2017 07:58 PM (psH+N)

910
First!

Posted by: naturalfake at July 21, 2017 07:58 PM (NyJwR)

911 I never expected men to be 6'2a nd I have no idea what Wolverine looks like. I only a dated couple of men who are really tall. My husband is 5'9 which is fine.

Posted by: FenelonSpoke at July 21, 2017 07:59 PM (iVOAv)

912 DVDs that don't allow you to skip past all the previews and advertisements.

Yeah, exactly. Despicable.

The fact that cable has any ads at all. Wait, so I'm paying you extra for what exactly? The same annoyance as regular TV, plus a bill every month?

People who say "wash" as if it has an R in it annoy me. People who say Strength as if it has no G in it annoy me even more. "He's got a lot of Shtrenth, bob. He'll warsh his hands of this fight"

Posted by: Christopher R Taylor at July 21, 2017 07:59 PM (39g3+)

913

Prediction: Seth "Peter Brady" McFarlane's new stupid comedy on Fox will be canceled in 9 episodes.

Posted by: Soothsayer --Digitally Remastered at July 21, 2017 07:59 PM (qbQhu)

914 Honey Roasted,
Try nail polish remover.
----------------------------

A smart military blog AND a Heloise Helpful Hints site too.

Posted by: Honey Roasted at July 21, 2017 07:59 PM (dEAeW)

915 "Girls who bump my elbows with their boobs in a crowded bar "

Yeh....I hate that.

Just like when they insist on pushing up against the back of your shirt with their bewbs when crossing a crowded room.

Posted by: Village Idiot's Apprentice at July 21, 2017 07:59 PM (J+eG2)

916 When people use "begs the question" to mean "forces us to ask". Wrong wrong wrong wrong wrong wrong wrong.
Posted by: Jim S.
-----------

"Carrot and stick", implying that the stick is supposed to be a threat. Wrong, wrong, wrong.

Posted by: Mike Hammer, etc., etc. at July 21, 2017 07:59 PM (OdK9v)

917 "Let a fresh set of leadership eyes see what more can be done for the MPD to be the very best it can be."

Or really lets see how the city can pay for this mess

Posted by: Skip at July 21, 2017 07:59 PM (9g/6M)

918 For people that like to assume they can tell who should have a disabled sticker:

http://bit.ly/2uRxEjl

(And Brandie died of the cancer.)

Posted by: notsothoreau at July 21, 2017 07:59 PM (JKNZq)

919 Valerian has the English bisexual model Cara Da whatever her last name is. She always looks like she needs a good bath in every picture I've seen of her. Ick.

Posted by: Tuna at July 21, 2017 07:59 PM (jm1YL)

920 Look up knotting on urban dictionary.

Don't. No really, don't.

Posted by: Christopher R Taylor at July 21, 2017 08:00 PM (39g3+)

921
Tire pressure sensors that don't work for shit and fail far too frequently. I am sick of the Low Pressure light always veing on.

Posted by: Krebs v Carnot: Epic Battle of the Cycling Stars (TM) at July 21, 2017 08:00 PM (pNxlR)

922 I hate that Susan Rice appeared before Congress in a closed door session on a Friday in the late Summer and no one is leaking or even reporting it.

Posted by: Daybrother at July 21, 2017 08:00 PM (Qz0zw)

923 I guess Harteau can go back to that vacation she was on when Noor popped a cap into Justine. Permanently because I bet she keeps the benefits package.

Posted by: Anna Puma (HQCaR) at July 21, 2017 08:00 PM (An780)

924
"Anxious", when they mean "eager".

Posted by: Mike Hammer, etc., etc. at July 21, 2017 08:00 PM (OdK9v)

925 >>Get back to me when you realize the difference that would make in batting averages. The rule is there to help batters, period.

What's your feeling on a ball bunted foul with two strikes being an out but not on strike one or two? Just a rule to help pitchers?

Posted by: JackStraw at July 21, 2017 08:00 PM (/tuJf)

926 Woman police chief I think was on vacation when this shooting occurred

Posted by: Skip at July 21, 2017 08:00 PM (9g/6M)

927 I saw a guy at the beach with a tramp stamp. Family man, 35 or so. Playing with his kids.

I've made some bad decisions in my life, but thank goodness I as a male never decided to get a tramp stamp.
Posted by: Hate Has No Homo at July 21, 2017 07:58 PM (psH+N)



Did he have a tongue stud?

Cuz that's would've pretty much sealed the deal that he had teh ghey.

Posted by: naturalfake at July 21, 2017 08:00 PM (NyJwR)

928 Minneapolis Police Chief thread.


--
"The recent incidents do not reflect the training and procedures we've developed as a department. "


And the somali cop goes under the bus.

Posted by: rickb223 at July 21, 2017 08:01 PM (W4LFA)

929 Oblivious shoppers incapable of making way for others.

People who are trying to sell something to the company I work for who don't state their name and the company they are calling from within five seconds. Stuff like "Yeah. Get me your manager." I want so bad to go all Roger Daltry and screaming "who the fuck are you" rather than patiently and politely (most of the time, at least) draw that super important secret information from them with my Jedi Mind Tricks. Seriously, not even a hello or how are you grime some of these fuckwads. Just "get me so-and-so".

Drivers who refuse to zipper merge at on ramps.

Drivers who try to merge onto highways at 45 miles an hour.

Drivers who pass while merging.

People who drive under the speed limit in residential neighborhoods as if they are the fucking Safety Patrol and end up with fourteen motherfucking cars behind them going fifteen miles an hour only to NOSIGNAL hard brake turn into their driveway or street.

People who think their food or beer opinions are facts and insist on making an issue out of a differing opinion on either.

Lemme start drinking. I'll be back with more.

Posted by: Denny Crane! at July 21, 2017 08:01 PM (4bjXi)

930 I hate two-piecers who destroy the forests as if their code name was Agent Orange.

Posted by: Sheryl Crow at July 21, 2017 08:01 PM (xAvrH)

931 1 First?!

I hate when posters claim first.


You read the post and made your comment fit. As far as I'm concerned, you have won. Everyone else, especially the simpering wussies squeaking out a meek "first?" and getting it freaking wrong should be banned from the rest of the thread.

Posted by: t-bird at July 21, 2017 08:01 PM (jCMs8)

932
823 I had to snap at a Barnes and Noble clerk. I was buying a $5 bible. Clerk asks me for my club number. I say I don't have one. He starts in on how much money I can save, and I stop him and say no thanks.

He then continues all the data entry that seems to be required at retail stores these days, then says "your email address...?" I say "I just want to buy the book." He looks miffed.

So that's an annoyance - people who get annoyed when you get annoyed by their BS.

Posted by: WitchDoktor, AKA VA GOP Sucks at July 21, 2017 07:46 PM (2VN2E)






See my comment above about Vons.

Wells Fargo used to do that shit too. I finally closed my account there about 15 years ago because of it. I went in to the cashier for a withdrawal and the branch manager casually walked up, looked over the cashier's shoulder at the computer screen with my personal financial info all over it, and tried to get me to open a savings account. Loudly, while reading my info off the screen so that everyone in the bank could hear it. And arguing with me when I declined.

I just amended my withdrawal slip so that I pulled virtually every penny, and after I had my cash in hand I looked at the manager and told her to close my account immediately. Yeah, that pissed her off to no end, especially because she couldn't hold my money hostage to keep me from moving.

Also, me telling her that I was closing the account because she had a big fucking mouth probably didn't do much for her mood either.

Posted by: IllTemperedCur at July 21, 2017 08:01 PM (iFZVz)

933 880 858. You'll get a kick outta this, then.

https://youtu.be/X13TGElQ9Ic
Posted by: Your Decidedly Devious Uncle Palpatine. All Honor & Glory to Kekistan! at July 21, 2017 07:54 PM (fA1SL)

Oh man.

Posted by: Insomniac, Professional Nobody at July 21, 2017 08:01 PM (0mRoj)

934 I really hate that thing your wife does with her tongue.

Posted by: buzzion at July 21, 2017 08:02 PM (z/Ubi)

935 919 Valerian has the English bisexual model Cara Da whatever her last name is. She always looks like she needs a good bath in every picture I've seen of her. Ick.
Posted by: Tuna


Her last name is an idiotic misspelling: Cara Delevingne

"ngn"??? I'm surprised she isn't barred from ever crossing the corder into France.

She has "monobrow syndrome," and dark hair all over her body -- is why she looks unbathed. I doubt that, as a supermodel, she never bathes.

Posted by: zombie at July 21, 2017 08:02 PM (DQ4Fv)

936 "I saw a guy at the beach with a tramp stamp. Family man, 35 or so. Playing with his kids."

Sure it wasn't one of those 2 daddy families?

Posted by: Tuna at July 21, 2017 08:02 PM (jm1YL)

937 "The recent incidents do not reflect the training and procedures we've developed as a department. "


And the somali cop goes under the bus.
Posted by: rickb223 at July 21, 2017 08:01 PM (W4LFA)

---

Watch BLM come to this cop's rescue...lol.

Posted by: SMFH at July 21, 2017 08:02 PM (s5Kql)

938 Someone whose car sound systems have to let you know from 2 blocks away that their taste in music sucks.

If you can call that music.

And in L.A. at least, they'd spend $3000 on a sound system for a $2000 car

Posted by: kbdabear at July 21, 2017 08:02 PM (3i2nH)

939 Clamshell packaging.

Posted by: Mark1971 at July 21, 2017 08:02 PM (xPl2J)

940 That none of us aren't criminals, and probably felons, nearly every single day.

Posted by: Hate Has No Homo at July 21, 2017 08:02 PM (psH+N)

941 Woman police chief I think was on vacation when this shooting occurred


So if she'd been on station instead she could have said, "oh, hey, don't murder that pretty yoga lady this time"?

Posted by: Bandersnatch at July 21, 2017 08:02 PM (gIRsn)

942 People who say "six of one, half dozen of the other."

Hearing that more than eleven times is gross.

Posted by: FireHorse at July 21, 2017 08:02 PM (zkGZ8)

943 Clerk asks me for my club number. I say I don't have one. He starts in on how much money I can save, and I stop him and say no thanks.

The Radio Shack effect. They killed their own store by being so obnoxious they became infamous and people found every possible alternative so they wouldn't have to ever go in that place.

Posted by: Christopher R Taylor at July 21, 2017 08:03 PM (39g3+)

944 Valerian has the English bisexual model Cara Da whatever her last name is. She always looks like she needs a good bath in every picture I've seen of her. Ick.
Posted by: Tuna

I hate that I hate that girl but love everything Luc Besson does and will see his movie anyway.

Posted by: Daybrother at July 21, 2017 08:03 PM (Qz0zw)

945 Look up knotting on urban dictionary.
Posted by: publius, the Persistent Poperin Pear at July 21, 2017 07:58 PM (8O3HH)

--

Oh dear God, no.

Posted by: SMFH at July 21, 2017 08:03 PM (s5Kql)

946 Girls who bump my elbows with their boobs in a crowded bar

---------------------

How would do you feel about girls who bump their elbows into your boobs?

Posted by: Honey Roasted at July 21, 2017 08:04 PM (dEAeW)

947 Playing golf with people who think it is okay to hit into a foursome in order to speed them up.

Posted by: Denny Crane! at July 21, 2017 08:04 PM (4bjXi)

948 Radio Shack was the worst. Spend a $1.50 and they wanted your whole life story.

Posted by: Mark1971 at July 21, 2017 08:04 PM (xPl2J)

949 Yeah Hartneau in her news conference did toss Noor under the squad car. Which means Harrity better get right with the investigators or he'll be sharing axle space with Noor.

Posted by: Anna Puma (HQCaR) at July 21, 2017 08:04 PM (An780)

950 Tattoos to me are whatever you want to do, but the ear hoops that make big open areas in their ear lobes have to be very dangerous in construction zones, and enough have them.

Posted by: Skip at July 21, 2017 08:04 PM (9g/6M)

951 933. Glad you enjoyed.

KNN - they're my go-to news and information source, after the HQ, of course.

Posted by: Your Decidedly Devious Uncle Palpatine. All Honor & Glory to Kekistan! at July 21, 2017 08:04 PM (fA1SL)

952 People who say "wash" as if it has an R in it annoy me. People who say Strength as if it has no G in it annoy me even more. "He's got a lot of Shtrenth, bob. He'll warsh his hands of this fight"
Posted by: Christopher R Taylor
----------

The marginally competent guy who did 'New Yankee Workshop' constantly spoke of drawings as "drawerings". I noticed it when eventually he stopped.

Posted by: Mike Hammer, etc., etc. at July 21, 2017 08:04 PM (sQ1li)

953
Checkout kiosks that ask me whether I want a receipt emailed to me.

Hells to the NOs squared. How much more junk email are we supposed to endure?

Posted by: Krebs v Carnot: Epic Battle of the Cycling Stars (TM) at July 21, 2017 08:05 PM (pNxlR)

954 DINOSAURS!!

Posted by: GODSAIDMANSAID DOT COM! at July 21, 2017 08:05 PM (beJsD)

955 Sure it wasn't one of those 2 daddy families?

Posted by: Tuna at July 21, 2017 08:02 PM (jm1YL)

---

Pretty sure he was straight and just made a dumb decision (I can't talk much on the dumb decision bit without being hypocritical).

His wife was quite MILFy.

Posted by: Hate Has No Homo at July 21, 2017 08:05 PM (psH+N)

956 #97 Sally Kohn's Taint: Ho Lee Shiieeet. I stifled a stroke, I laughed so hard.

Posted by: Friendo at July 21, 2017 08:05 PM (eUnhA)

957 You know what grinds my gears? Girls who climb all over you when you are a bar, I mean the ones that get into your lap and start playing with your hair. So annoying. I mean, I just came in to get drunk, lady. Is it so hard to find your own stool?

/mocking humblegrumble

Posted by: Christopher R Taylor at July 21, 2017 08:05 PM (39g3+)

958 I think that is one of the interesting visual effects of Valerian, neither lead is that total pretty face thing Hollywood likes to use.

Posted by: Anna Puma (HQCaR) at July 21, 2017 08:05 PM (An780)

959 "She has "monobrow syndrome," and dark hair all over her body -- is why she looks unbathed. I doubt that, as a supermodel, she never bathes. "

I just find her incredibly unattractive.

Posted by: Tuna at July 21, 2017 08:06 PM (jm1YL)

960 I HATE pet peeve threads.
But since I have gone this far. . .
I hate old ladies. I mean they SEEM nice and all.
What's with all that " sweety" and "sonny" talk ??
And what good are they really ?

Posted by: builderD at July 21, 2017 08:06 PM (cmxEy)

961 How does one become a bar?

Posted by: SMFH at July 21, 2017 08:06 PM (s5Kql)

962 People who say "six of one, half dozen of the other."

I had a cross-country coach who was a good coach but otherwise not all of the smart who used to say "six of one, a dozen of another".

Posted by: Bandersnatch at July 21, 2017 08:06 PM (gIRsn)

963 Clamshell packaging.
Posted by: Mark1971
------------

*pulls, heaves, curses, damns the eyes of the designer*

Posted by: Mike Hammer, etc., etc. at July 21, 2017 08:07 PM (OdK9v)

964 I'm checking out at a store, paying with cash, and they want a phone number, email address, ask if I want a store membership card, and so on and on.

No, you fucking retard. I'm trying to make a purchase and leave, not establish a lasting relationship.

Posted by: JTB at July 21, 2017 08:07 PM (V+03K)

965 People who don't control their kids in public.

Posted by: Bicentennialguy at July 21, 2017 08:07 PM (nILVB)

966 This thing I noticed people seemed to just start one day-

So we were going to the store

So my PhD dissertation was

So I was in the drive thru

So I woke up with my bed on fire

Posted by: weirdflunky at July 21, 2017 08:07 PM (dh85b)

967 SMFH, I think Blondie talked about it in a song called Rapture as the Man from Mars is going around eating bars.

Posted by: Anna Puma (HQCaR) at July 21, 2017 08:07 PM (An780)

968 Video of a girl talking about her love of knotting and people should get over it. She is dead serious.

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=6BEtf-YhxAw

Posted by: Widespread Pepe at July 21, 2017 08:07 PM (2qHjF)

969 Look up knotting on urban dictionary.
Posted by: publius, the Persistent Poperin Pear at July 21, 2017 07:58 PM


Don't steal a cured, smoked rear quarter of a pig when doing this.

Knotting ham is not a robbing 'hood.

Posted by: The Sheriff at July 21, 2017 08:08 PM (DMUuz)

970 "And in L.A. at least, they'd spend $3000 on a sound system for a $2000 car."

Same in here in Ga. And another $3k on giant wheels. Or just rent them.

Posted by: freaked at July 21, 2017 08:08 PM (BO/km)

971 "supposebly"

Posted by: Mark1971 at July 21, 2017 08:08 PM (xPl2J)

972 I think that is one of the interesting visual effects of Valerian, neither lead is that total pretty face thing Hollywood likes to use.

I agree, its interesting to me. Neither one seems like a typical heroic figure. More like ghetto survivors that happened to be caught up in something.

How does one become a bar?

You know what I hate? Being able to type up to 120 words a minute and then when I sit down to comment, skipping words like "at" or reversing letters as if I'm suffering dyslexia.

Posted by: Christopher R Taylor at July 21, 2017 08:08 PM (39g3+)

973
What's funny is that we all know the Left has been praying/wishing for another cop shooting.

They got more than they bargained for!

Muslim shooter. White woman victim.

Posted by: Soothsayer --Digitally Remastered at July 21, 2017 08:08 PM (qbQhu)

974 People who don't control their kids in public.
Posted by: Bicentennialguy at July 21, 2017 08:07 PM (nILVB)

--------------------------

Yeah. They should use leashes.

Posted by: RioBravo at July 21, 2017 08:08 PM (OmhcY)

975 Six of one, seven of nine.

Posted by: Bertram Cabot, Jr. at July 21, 2017 08:08 PM (IqV8l)

976 Nood!

Posted by: Your Decidedly Devious Uncle Palpatine. All Honor & Glory to Kekistan! at July 21, 2017 08:08 PM (fA1SL)

977
897 888


DVDs that don't allow you to skip past all the previews and advertisements.

Posted by: Krebs v Carnot: Epic Battle of the Cycling Stars (TM) at July 21, 2017 07:55 PM (pNxlR)

I got one like that from Netflix once. I was so pissed I took it out and didn't even watch the movie.

Posted by: Mark1971 at July 21, 2017 07:56 PM (xPl2J)








Or like the DVD for Lynch's Mulholland Drive, which disabled the fast forward and reverse so you couldn't skip to the blonde chick furiously beating off.

Posted by: IllTemperedCur at July 21, 2017 08:09 PM (iFZVz)

978 Obnoxiously loud motorcycles not being ridden by a bonafide member of the 1% club.

And, to be honest, obnoxiously loud motorcycles but I'm not saying anything to the guy in the Mongols colors for some reason. No colors? Yeah. I'll call you something if I'm in the mood and scream it loud enough for you to hear it.

150db is fucking gay. Unless you're Sonny Motherfucking Barger or something.

Posted by: Denny Crane! at July 21, 2017 08:09 PM (4bjXi)

979 Dumbasses that get caught in my treads really annoy me.

Do they have any idea how difficult it is to remove human remains?

Posted by: SMFH at July 21, 2017 08:09 PM (s5Kql)

980
Facebook becoming the default login choice for innumerable other applications. Ain't happenin', Zoidberg.

Posted by: Krebs v Carnot: Epic Battle of the Cycling Stars (TM) at July 21, 2017 08:09 PM (pNxlR)

981 102 Agreed

Piss poor bathroom ettiquette infuriates me.

Posted by: Larry Craig at July 21, 2017 08:09 PM (H5knJ)

982 People who don't control their kids in public.

Posted by: Bicentennialguy at July 21, 2017 08:07 PM (nILVB)


Or their dogs.

Posted by: Mark1971 at July 21, 2017 08:09 PM (xPl2J)

983 People who don't post on the thread before the slow almost dead thread bc they're waiting for the ONT and then say First. Contribute to the slow almost dead thread and forget about First. First is fleeting. Slow threads are forever

Posted by: L, Elle at July 21, 2017 08:09 PM (Rsi2C)

984 865
So what are the Horde opinions on Valerian and Dunkirk?


Based on nothing more than the trailers, it looks like the first movie in a long, long time that could get me into a theater.

Posted by: pep at July 21, 2017 08:10 PM (LAe3v)

985 The term "marriage equality."

HATE IT.

Posted by: Bicentennialguy at July 21, 2017 08:10 PM (nILVB)

986 There is a civilian witness is this Noor shooting and Noor has yet to make a statement.

Posted by: Skip at July 21, 2017 08:10 PM (9g/6M)

987 osted by: builderD at July 21, 2017 08:06 PM (cmxEy)

What are you expected them to be good for?

How old is old.?

And if you're young enough to be their son perhaps that's why the call you sonny, although yes, it is rather personal..

Posted by: FenelonSpoke at July 21, 2017 08:10 PM (iVOAv)

988 Yeh....I hate that.

My very cute dentist resting hers on my head. Lady, do. I look like some sort of parking rack for racks?

Posted by: t-bird at July 21, 2017 08:11 PM (jCMs8)

989 >>I had a cross-country coach who was a good coach but otherwise not all of the smart who used to say "six of one, a dozen of another".

I had a friend who used to say "can't see the forest through the trees". I wanted to choke him on more than one occasion.

Posted by: JackStraw at July 21, 2017 08:11 PM (/tuJf)

990
974 People who don't control their kids in public.
Posted by: Bicentennialguy at July 21, 2017 08:07 PM (nILVB)

--------------------------

Yeah. They should use leashes.

Posted by: RioBravo at July 21, 2017 08:08 PM (OmhcY)







And duct tape.

Posted by: IllTemperedCur at July 21, 2017 08:11 PM (iFZVz)

991
Reminds me of the genie who's a real dick and grants *exactly* what you wish for, kinda.

Muslim cop shooter....white woman victim. The Left is adroit at politicizing literally everything. But this, this, has the Left in knots.

I love it!

Yeah too bad about the woman, tho. But this is what the Rotten Left has been praying for.

Posted by: Soothsayer --Digitally Remastered at July 21, 2017 08:11 PM (qbQhu)

992 944 Valerian has the English bisexual model Cara Da whatever her last name is. She always looks like she needs a good bath in every picture I've seen of her. Ick.
Posted by: Tuna

I hate that I hate that girl but love everything Luc Besson does and will see his movie anyway.

Posted by: Daybrother at July 21, 2017 08:03 PM (Qz0zw)


Howard Tayler (Schlock Mercenary) positively *hated* Valerian. I've never seen him snark like that review before.

Posted by: Jeff Weimer at July 21, 2017 08:11 PM (17QyB)

993 987-Sorry-typo-What are you expecting them to be good for?

Posted by: FenelonSpoke at July 21, 2017 08:11 PM (iVOAv)

994 This thing I noticed people seemed to just start one day-

So we were going to the store

So my PhD dissertation was ...



The opening word of Beowulf is "thweat", which Seamus Heany said had never been competently translated.

He chose "So" as a way to signal that a story was about to start and you should be hearing what it's about.

So I don't object to it.

(I do have a major peeve against language pedants, though) ;-)

Posted by: Bandersnatch at July 21, 2017 08:11 PM (gIRsn)

995 I'm gonna be 1000.

Posted by: freaked at July 21, 2017 08:11 PM (BO/km)

996 1000

Posted by: freaked at July 21, 2017 08:11 PM (BO/km)

997
Posted by: SMFH at July 21, 2017 08:09 PM (s5Kql)


I guess that you and Rachel Corrie never were destined to be besties.

Posted by: Krebs v Carnot: Epic Battle of the Cycling Stars (TM) at July 21, 2017 08:11 PM (pNxlR)

998 Nood?, but we're almost to 1K!

Posted by: Skip at July 21, 2017 08:12 PM (9g/6M)

999 1K

Posted by: Skip at July 21, 2017 08:12 PM (9g/6M)

1000 Now

Posted by: Skip at July 21, 2017 08:12 PM (9g/6M)

1001 Four digits!

Posted by: Krebs v Carnot: Epic Battle of the Cycling Stars (TM) at July 21, 2017 08:12 PM (pNxlR)

1002 1000

Posted by: freaked at July 21, 2017 08:12 PM (BO/km)

1003 Dunkirk, that is.

Posted by: pep at July 21, 2017 08:12 PM (LAe3v)

1004 745 People who tell you hard work and doing a good job are the keys to success, knowing full well that's bullshit.
Posted by: Insomniac, Professional Nobody at July 21, 2017 07:36 PM (0mRoj)



"Do what you love."

So ... who's going to pick up the trash?

What if what you love is drinking beer and watching sports?

Idiots.

Posted by: Deplorable Jay Guevara at July 21, 2017 08:12 PM (SRKgf)

1005 Whoo hoo!

Posted by: Skip at July 21, 2017 08:13 PM (9g/6M)

1006 Damninit!

Posted by: freaked at July 21, 2017 08:13 PM (BO/km)

1007 The fact that the douchenozzle Zuckerberg is regarded as some kind of expert in all things and that anyone gives a shit what he thinks about anything other than FB.

Posted by: Bicentennialguy at July 21, 2017 08:13 PM (nILVB)

1008 902
http://preview.tinyurl.com/jxjlo8k
Posted by: RioBravo at July 21, 2017 07:57 PM (OmhcY)


Nice link. Thanks.

Posted by: rickl at July 21, 2017 08:14 PM (sdi6R)

1009 763 ... when college educated people use "I" or "myself" where "me" is correct. I think it annoys me because they're trying to be what they think is extra correct by avoiding "me" so it backfires on them.

Posted by: stace
________

That goes triple (treble?) for people who use "whom" or "whomever" in the subjective case.
Posted by: FireHorse at July 21, 2017 07:39 PM (zkGZ


I don't get that one. It's easy. "She told her and I" --> "She told I?" No. "She told me."

Who - for the subject
Whose - for the possessive
Whom - for everything else. In particular, anything preceded by any preposition.

Of whom, to whom, by whom, about whom, etc.

It's not that difficult.

Posted by: Deplorable Jay Guevara at July 21, 2017 08:14 PM (SRKgf)

1010 1000???

Posted by: Sheryl Crow at July 21, 2017 08:15 PM (xAvrH)

1011 Yes, Mark Zuckerberg is irritating. I expect him to run for President within in the next 12 years and he'll think he's entitled to it because..... billionaire. Ugh

Posted by: FenelonSpoke at July 21, 2017 08:15 PM (iVOAv)

1012 Women on sidewalks.

Why are you so slow?

Why can't you walk in a straight line?

Posted by: Curmudgeonly Ex-Clerk at July 21, 2017 08:16 PM (H5knJ)

1013 L'Elle wants 1000.

Posted by: Duncanthrax at July 21, 2017 08:16 PM (DMUuz)

1014 Janee* Harteau who is the Minneapolis Police Chief is resigning?


This just in. Harteau is coming out of the closet as a heterosexual in Minnesota.

Nah. I'm just messin' with ya. She's as queer as a duck.

Posted by: Deplorable Jay Guevara at July 21, 2017 08:17 PM (SRKgf)

1015 Guess I should have refreshed. Thought I did.

Posted by: Duncanthrax at July 21, 2017 08:17 PM (DMUuz)

1016 The Blair Witch Project.

Posted by: Steve and Cold Bear at July 21, 2017 08:20 PM (xAvrH)

1017 One in six Americans struggles with hunger!

Posted by: The Ad Council at July 21, 2017 08:21 PM (Tyii7)

1018 A buddy of mine said when the Mayor of Jackson gave Walter Payton the key to Jackson, he said that just goes to prove little things come in small packages and it was televised.

Posted by: Cosmic Charlie at July 21, 2017 08:22 PM (PUmDY)

1019
983 People who don't post on the thread before the slow almost dead thread bc they're waiting for the ONT and then say First. Contribute to the slow almost dead thread and forget about First. First is fleeting. Slow threads are forever
Posted by: L, Elle at July 21, 2017 08:09 PM (Rsi2C)


'Rons, we live in a world that has threads, and those threads have to be posted to by folks with wit. Who's gonna do it? Just me? You, ace? I have a greater responsibility than you can possibly fathom. You weep over missing "First!", and you curse the slackers. You have that luxury. You have the luxury of not knowing what I know -- that threads' deaths, while tragic, probably saved witticisms; and my existence, while grotesque and incomprehensible to you, saves bonhomie.

Posted by: Krebs v Carnot: Epic Battle of the Cycling Stars (TM) at July 21, 2017 08:22 PM (pNxlR)

1020 So we were going to the store

So my PhD dissertation was ...

---------------------
Yeah, that was or is a fad that started a couple of years ago. It came out of Silcone Valley.

Posted by: Honey Roasted at July 21, 2017 08:23 PM (dEAeW)

1021 little things come in small packages

We may be small but we're slow.

Posted by: The Ad Council at July 21, 2017 08:24 PM (Tyii7)

1022 Windows 10.

Posted by: Steve Wozniak at July 21, 2017 08:25 PM (xAvrH)

1023 62 I get apoplectic when my dog drops the tennis ball halfway back after I've thrown it for him. That's not fetch you goddamn mutt.
Posted by: phone of kari - certified sidebar at July 21, 2017 06:24 PM (rOiBy)


Hilarious. Thanks for the laugh!

Posted by: Denny Crane! at July 21, 2017 08:25 PM (4bjXi)

1024
Really good souls who used to post here but have departed -- some banned, some disgusted, some just exhausted. It's still fun, but it is different and I miss a lot of them.

Posted by: Krebs v Carnot: Epic Battle of the Cycling Stars (TM) at July 21, 2017 08:26 PM (pNxlR)

1025 I'm still here Krebs

Posted by: The Chicken at July 21, 2017 08:28 PM (BO/km)

1026 So we were going to the store

So my PhD dissertation was ...

---------------------
Yeah, that was or is a fad that started a couple of years ago. It came out of Silcone Valley.
---------------------------------

I think it started with people trying to get money out of venture capital firms.

President: What are your sales?

Entreprenuer: So we've had a lot of interest.

President: What are your sales?

Entreprenuer: So we haven't gotten to the manufacturing stage yet.

President: Then you have no sales?

Entreprenuer: So we expect to have a product in three months.

It's a deflection technique.

Posted by: Honey Roasted at July 21, 2017 08:28 PM (dEAeW)

1027 DVDs that don't allow you to skip past all the previews and advertisements.

Posted by: Krebs v Carnot: Epic Battle of the Cycling Stars (TM) at July 21, 2017 07:55 PM



---

God, I hate that too.

Posted by: Darth Randall at July 21, 2017 08:32 PM (v3DL/)

1028 Oh yeah, drivers who ride my ass. It's not going to make me go any faster.

It's like I'm going slow for a reason moron, go around me.

Posted by: Honey Roasted at July 21, 2017 08:33 PM (dEAeW)

1029
'Rons, we live in a world that has threads, and those threads have
to be posted to by folks with wit. Who's gonna do it? Just me? You, ace?
I have a greater responsibility than you can possibly fathom. You weep
over missing "First!", and you curse the slackers. You have that luxury.
You have the luxury of not knowing what I know -- that threads' deaths,
while tragic, probably saved witticisms; and my existence, while
grotesque and incomprehensible to you, saves bonhomie.


Brilliant.

Posted by: pep at July 21, 2017 08:33 PM (LAe3v)

1030 1000!!!!

Posted by: Amy Schumer at July 21, 2017 08:34 PM (KCxzN)

1031 People who stand in a doorway or narrow hallway to have a conversation or something and seem completely unaware that they are inconveniencing the people behind them by making them wait.

Posted by: Jim S. at July 21, 2017 08:38 PM (ynUnH)

1032 20 Here's a thing I hate that happens. Sometimes it happens to me, sometimes I see it happen to other people.

So like you're telling some story. It doesn't grab anyone. Most people stop making eye contact with you and start looking at other people, hoping someone will say something more interesting.

But you're kind of now committed to this story. You don't want to finish it, but you'd feel pretty stupid if you just trailed off and stopped speaking mid-sentence.

So you kind of just mumble out a few random bits from the end and say something (which no one is listening to) in summary like "So anyway it was a real situation," to pretend as if you'd finished and it had all gone well.

Sometimes I see this happen to other people and I do try to look into their eyes and pretend I've been listening. Just because I know, it kind of sucks.

Posted by: ace at July 21, 2017 06:18 PM (8rNrN)

Happened to me a couple of weeks ago. I left the gathering after finishing almost exactly the way you worded it.
As if another discussion about American session beers vs craft beers was more interesting than my story about seeing two beautiful Mexican prostitutes fight in Tijuana was some sort of "been there, done that" story or just plain boring.

Took my eighteen pack of Natty Light home and saved the neighbors from having to hear boring stories about hot Mexican whores and and get back to criticizing the riff-raff for the beer they drink.

Posted by: Denny Crane! at July 21, 2017 08:38 PM (4bjXi)

1033 The n00d is already well over 100 comments, but I like it here. I feel a certain comfort in amid the complaining with sidetracks about lady chiefs of police (and the Sheriff of Knottingham on YouTube) and whores going at it in Tijuana.

Posted by: FireHorse at July 21, 2017 08:47 PM (zkGZ8)

1034 those fake Kanji tattoos that supposedly mean "hope" but actually say "Gaijin Dumbass."

Oh, LOL, no shit...

Guy I used to work with, had 5 Kanji symbols on his arm and *swore up and down* that it was His Name In Japanese! (Yes, his name was 5 letters long.)

Yeah, phonetic "spelling", katakana, hiragana, etc... all lost trying to explain to him that they Don't Do It That Way.

And not that I could 'read' his arm, because I really couldn't. Just, damn. But I still wonder what the symbols *really* said...

Baka gaijin, at least. Maybe even something something shakuhachi? Lol, again!

Posted by: JQ Flyover at July 21, 2017 08:51 PM (5muuD)

1035 This thread is so old, I'll probably get banned again just for commenting, but...

APOSTROPHES! I HATE TEH DAMN THINGS.

People in town having a yard/garage sale. Their name is Malvin and Diana Jones. Sign says sale will be at the Jone's House.

Someone else having a meeting to welcome people who have just moved here. Facebook post talks about welcoming the newcomer's.

Them 'stupid (or is it s'tupid?) people. Just make's me tired.



Posted by: Formerly banned john at July 21, 2017 08:51 PM (h3ovR)

1036 People who don't know what nood means.
What does nood mean?

Posted by: Shoveljerk at July 21, 2017 09:00 PM (TlEAd)

1037 People who leave a voicemail on my mobile phone telling me to call them back on some number OTHER THAN THE ONE THEY CALLED ME ON!!!!!!!!!! Are you really that thick?

You know who you are.

Posted by: Jack S. Phoggbound, Esq. at July 21, 2017 09:01 PM (9X60i)

1038 What does nood mean?

That we're all supposed to drop this thread like a dead hobo and scurry to the next one, or be considered 'Uncool' or some such?

Meh.

Posted by: JQ Flyover at July 21, 2017 09:02 PM (5muuD)

1039 Acronyms that are used without specifying first what the acronym means. I actually had to go halfway through a program report before I could determine if OESBR stood for, "original equipment steel belted radial" or, "oil exrended styrene-butadiene rubber.

Also have a problem with what I call "Redundant Acronyms". I once heard a news talker say "It is believed that the plane was shot down by a SAM surface-to-air missile." Or, "EIG group" for "EIG". IYKWIMAITYD.

Posted by: bergerbilder at July 21, 2017 09:09 PM (lIZQs)

1040 Voicemail that requests that the caller leave a detailed message. Response to "detailed message" nine times out of ten? "Oh, hey, yeah. I saw that you called, I don't listen to voicemail.

Then fucking say that in your goddamned greeting, fuckwipe. I left a detailed message, the one I called and all that shit, like YOU FUCKING ASKED, now I've gotta repeat myself?

Try this instead, please: "I don't listen to voicemail, so don't bother. I'll call back when I'm free".

Posted by: Denny Crane! at July 21, 2017 09:17 PM (4bjXi)

1041 Auto correct is another one

Posted by: Denny Crane! at July 21, 2017 09:18 PM (4bjXi)

1042 You know what really burns my ass!
A fire about this high.

Posted by: Don Johnson at July 21, 2017 09:24 PM (3LAYT)

1043 Denny Crane! @ 1040 --

Here's the sequel to your post. (Correct it if it's wrong in even the slightest way.)

Knowing this person checks CallerID but not voicemail, you make a point of not leaving a message -- in fact, in an attempt to save time for yourself and be CONSIDERATE OF THE OTHER PERSON you call the number, let it ring once, and hang up.

The other person never calls you back.

Some time goes by and you finally connect with the other person. You never returned my call, you say. He says, You never left a message.

Posted by: FireHorse at July 21, 2017 09:24 PM (zkGZ8)

1044 Texting someone and they reply "who is this?"

Means they never added me to their contacts, or they deleted me.

Ouch!

Posted by: Denny Crane! at July 21, 2017 09:26 PM (4bjXi)

1045 It's like I'm going slow for a reason moron, go around me.
Posted by: Honey Roasted at July 21, 2017 08:33 PM (dEAeW)


Oh yeah, and people who like to cruise in the passing lane. It's like I need to go faster because my wife just called and our kid is in the emergency room!

Posted by: bergerbilder at July 21, 2017 09:31 PM (lIZQs)

1046 537 Superfluous "at"s.

As in, "Where did you get that at?"

Or "Where is the dog at?"
Posted by: Malcolm Tent at July 21, 2017 07:11 PM

-------------------

When one of her students asked her a question phrased that way, my fifth-grade teacher would answer, "Behind the at."

I loved that woman.

Seriously, try it sometime. And try not to laugh at the befuddled look of the asker.

Posted by: EyeTest at July 21, 2017 09:34 PM (5x9My)

1047 >>974 People who don't control their kids in public.
Posted by: Bicentennialguy at July 21, 2017 08:07 PM (nILVB)

--------------------------

Yeah. They should use leashes.

When my kids were in lower single digits I used wrist leaches when we went to the zoo. They could run and play and act like little kids with reckless abandon - but there was a firm limit. When they were that age, all I had to do was get their attention and point to my belt and the bullshit stopped immediately.

Posted by: Bonecrusher at July 21, 2017 09:46 PM (r+mGZ)

1048 Speaking of acronyms, I've been trying to get people to use a couple that I am proud of, but they just don't seem to be catching on for some reason.

Think about the person who first used LOL. That personn has some great bragging rights. Hell, that life could be considered complete and actualized. Human language for who knows how long. Like Shakespeare.

So, dreaming of such a mark and family pride, I really put my nose to the grindstone.

IGJAG

Instant Genius, Just Add Google
We all know the type. Hell, it is me sometimes. Use and meaning could vary. From a rip on an egomaniac to advice, like "how in the fuck do you think I'd know the answer to THAT." I dreamt of selling the acronym in an advertising package to Google. T shirts with colored letters and the whole nine yards. But does Google need advertising?

The other one:

SWYADAMN

Stems from dealing with coworkers or intensely impatient and demanding customers over and over and over and over again. Stop What You're Doing And Help Me Now, whined like a four year old who still has a pacifier and begs mommy for an insignificant trinket in the grocery line.


Hell, I thought

Posted by: Denny Crane! at July 21, 2017 09:55 PM (4bjXi)

1049 BTW, does anyone wanna buy an IGJAG t-shirt?

Posted by: Denny Crane! at July 21, 2017 09:56 PM (4bjXi)

1050 I second that leash idea.

Posted by: Zombie Harambe at July 21, 2017 09:58 PM (4bjXi)

1051 1043 Fire Horse

Bingo

Posted by: Zombie Harambe at July 21, 2017 10:00 PM (4bjXi)

1052 Okay, here's another one that bugs me, but shouldn't: Homophones (get your mind out of the gutter.)

Words that are spelled alike but pronounced differently depending on the context. Like bass. Or read. Or lead. Polish. Etc., etc.

Posted by: bergerbilder at July 21, 2017 10:18 PM (lIZQs)

1053 Actually, I don't of really don't like bicyclists on the public streets.

My daughter (who bicycles on paths, in parks, etc.) was driving when we came upon a bicyclist. There was no way to get around him, so we slowed to his speed and continued to approach the stop sign. When we got to the stop sign, he turned around and gave my young, beautiful daughter the finger!

Now I'm a stickler about tailgating, and I didn't think she was driving too close to him. So I don't know what that was all about. But it didn't make me like bicyclists on the public streets better.

Posted by: Alana at July 21, 2017 10:24 PM (Fxtu/)

1054 1. When changing a spokesman is treated like Truman firing MacArthur, because it involves the Press, and the Press is so gosh-darned IMPORTANT. "Don't you know who I *am*?"

2. When those same News Molesters ask the new spokesman if he'll tell the truth, as if they were the moral arbiters of the universe and not #Professional Hack Liars that haven't told it straight since Trump came down the escalator.

3. People who don't pick up after their peeve.

Posted by: The Gipper Lives at July 21, 2017 10:49 PM (Ndje9)

1055 When my secretary touches my keys with her gross man hands.

Posted by: You Heard Me at July 22, 2017 12:19 AM (DMyvQ)

1056 I was leaving a campground one Sunday, at the exit got behind a cyclist on her morning ride. She's just, lalalala, taking up the whole road, and I'm following patiently behind, but then we get to the end of the campground and it's windy, hilly, no visibility county road,and still, she's just pedaling in the middle of the road, with my one ton breathing down her neck! Luckily I'm a good person. Not really. I had to get within 20 feet of her to get her to move over.

Posted by: kalneva at July 22, 2017 12:26 AM (vhW1R)

1057 I'm a consultant and my pet peeve is when I hear a client say "Can you just..." They're asking for extra and the 'just" is there to make it sound easy and minor. It almost never is. As Scott Adam's Pointy Headed Boss once observed, "if I don't know how to do it, it must be easy!"

Posted by: gorillapundit at July 22, 2017 12:51 AM (11H2y)

1058 Late to the gripe session. I once read that you're only as big a person as the things that annoy you. I laugh at myself at least once a week when I catch myself damning somebody to hell for 1) spitting their gum out in a hot asphalt parking lot 2) pissing all over the down the toilet seat down when I have to deuce of 3) driving 10 mph below the speed limit approaching a light and then suddenly waking up and gunning it through the yellow/red while I get stopped. Based on the myriad of things that can bend me out of shape on any given day, I'm pretty sure I'm in the running for the smallest person on the planet.

Posted by: Lawrence Larson at July 22, 2017 11:35 PM (8bt9o)

1059 43 Pooping.....
I mean, toilet paper so rough that using it causes anal fissures and you have to go home and use the adjustable shower head to feel completely clean and the hot water actually stings and you look down and see blood in the water...

Ok, um, I'll stop there.

But I hate pooping.
Posted by: Mark Andrew Edwards at July 21, 2017 06:22 PM (3OIiX)



Flushable baby wipes, dude. Get em in bulk and also in compact travel packs which fit into your breast or back pocket/bag/briefcase/glovebox.
I haven't used tp in years.

Posted by: BuddyPC at July 23, 2017 07:44 AM (ulnyA)

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