So #Woke It's Stupid: New York Times and Entertainment Weekly Contributor and Film Reviewer Blasts "Murder on the Orient Express" Remake For Not Featuring Any... Asians

Yup.


In case you're one of the few people who haven't seen any of the many high-profile movies, or read any of the popular books, about the Orient Express (Murder on the Orient Express, From Russia with Love being two major ones), you should know that "Orient" in "Orient Express" refers to what we'd now call the very near Near East, specifically Turkey. The line ran from Calais, France, through Paris and Vienna and Budapest and Zagreb to end at Constantinople.

And that's as "Asian" as it got: Turkey bordering right on the Balkan states.

In fact, someone on Twitter pointed out the train never even reached Asia, broadly defined to include "Asia Minor:" The train never crossed the Bosphorus Strait to reach actual sorta-Asia, but instead ended on the European side of the Bosphorus. If you wanted to travel on to Asia, you'd need to buy a ticket for a water-crossing.

But that wouldn't be on the train.

The Federalist's Robert Traczinsky reminded me of something else: None of the story actually even takes place anywhere in Turkey. The story starts at Calais, then they pick up some more passengers in Paris, and then they are blocked in by snow somewhere in Croatia. That is when the murder happens, and that is when all the detection happens, too. The story ends as the train is just breaking through the snow to move on to Constantinople, but they are never shown making it there or disembarking anywhere remotely "Asian."

But apparently this film critic -- whose name on twitter, "FilmFatale_NYC," is a reference to the dic-fic trope of a femme fatale, so you'd think she'd have at least head of the most famous story penned by the most famous detective writer of all time (well, tied for first place) -- thinks the Orient Express actually travels to Hong Kong or wherever so she's expecting to see a train filled with Asian faces.

I don't want to spoil this for anyone, but this story requires more than most a very specific set of characters (think: secret relationships), and you can't just cast a Chinese actress as the crown princess of Russia or a Latinx transsexual as a Hungarian countess.

This idiot, who is obviously pig-ignorant about the basics of her own alleged craft, quickly pretended to know all these things, but then began postulating that the film should be "race-bent" to include a racial makeover.

Again she demonstrates her incredible ignorance: A British soldier played in the Oscar-winning 1974 spectacle by Sean Connery is now played by a black actor, and a Swedish humanitarian relief worker played by Igrid Bergman (who nabbed an Oscar) is now played by Penelope Cruz.

Two cases where the film blackwashed or olivewashed a Historically White Role precisely to pre-empt complaints from the Society of Pig-Ignorant Racial Beancounters and Grievance-Mongers Pretending to Care About Art.

But -- no Asians on a train moving entirely through Europe in the 1930s.

I'm not complaining about the "race-bending" -- the Connery role is one of the few parts where you can have a black actor step in and not look completely anachronistic (though, still you know, pretty anachronistic), and there's no reason the Swedish woman must be Swedish.

But for most of the other parts -- yes, given that a lot characters have familial and/or romantic relationships, or are actual European nobility, it would be a bit too anachronistic to just say "Oh, the Hungarian countess is married to this Japanese guy. Because that's a thing that happens in the 1930s European nobility."

It is obvious that this "film reviewer" is absolutely ignorant of one of the most famous movies of the 1970s, and the most famous Agatha Christie movie ever, or else she'd know that Sean Connery and Ingrid Bergman played those White Roles in the original.

And she'd know that the Orient Express, one of the most filmed and re-filmed trains in Hollywood history, does not even cross into somewhere you could even kinda-sorta say is "Asia."

But that's the way the world works now -- you do not have to know actual facts, you just have to know the three or four Angles of Social Justice Attack and repeat those forever.

I remember reading an essay about Graham Greene's The Power and the Glory. I never read the Power and the Glory, but that didn't matter, because the post-modern "critiquer" never did either, or at least never gave evidence of having done so. Completely ignoring the characters, the setting, and the plot, the po-mo critiquer (a forerunner of today's SJW critics) just pointed out stupid shit like when one character hands an object to another character, that's a sign of a "power relationship" between them, with the giver showing Power over the givee, and shit like that.

And now "film critics" haven't seen any movies, or apparently haven't even heard of one of the most famous titles in history (so that maybe it would jog a memory and suggest a quick Wikipedia look-up), but they do know they're supposed to deploy one of their five treasured simpleton lines of racial attack against it, and that's enough for the New York Times.

But go on believing them about everything else they say -- after all, they're Experts.

They told you so, didn't they?


By the way: The porter for the Calais Coach (where all the action is) was played by a white French guy in the original (true to the novel), but now seems to be played by a guy named Marwan Kenzari, who is plainly Algerian or something. (I was wrong: I looked it up, and he's Dutch-Tunisian.) I figured "Algerian" so they could at least have a French-speaking guy play the part of a French-speaking porter.

But nah, get a Dutch guy. Eh, whatever. They're trying to "race-bend" the cast to the extent the plot will allow. (And it won't allow too much.)

So again, if this fucking idiot even bothered to familiarize herself with any news about this thing she was criticizing, she would have seen that yes, the producers had gone to some fair lengths to appease the SJW bean-counters.

By the way, Sean Davis that the first guy who responded to this pig-ignorant, never-read-anything-except-on-the-internet tweet, adding his own "funny" joke that the "[Asians] must be the ones taking the picture [of the white cast]" (how racist!) is, get this, a writer for the super-funny Samantha Bee program.

Posted by: Ace at 05:30 PM




Comments

(Jump to bottom of page)

1 This is easy.

I love ultra-fast internet and a good Compy.

*Plants Flag*

Posted by: Slapweasel, (Cold1) (T) at May 03, 2017 05:21 PM (6gk0M)

2 First

Posted by: tu3031 at May 03, 2017 05:22 PM (qJhUV)

3 My Close-Tags saved the rest of you.

I'm not saying I'm Jesus, but I'll take the foul.

Posted by: Slapweasel, (Cold1) (T) at May 03, 2017 05:22 PM (6gk0M)

4 I don't recognize any members of the cast. At best there of couple of "oh, that's that guy...."

Posted by: Northernlurker, Phillips screwdriver of the gods at May 03, 2017 05:24 PM (hJrjt)

5 I'm also furious that "2001: A Space Odyssey" had not a single Greek.

Posted by: pep at May 03, 2017 05:24 PM (LAe3v)

6 Flakes on a Train

Posted by: Insomniac at May 03, 2017 05:24 PM (0mRoj)

7 Been to Panda Express several times. Never seen a single fucking panda.

This shit's gotta stop.

Posted by: Dang at May 03, 2017 05:25 PM (8b+oT)

8 I've been disoriented once or twice and the experience had nothing to do with my race.

Posted by: Northernlurker, Phillips screwdriver of the gods at May 03, 2017 05:25 PM (hJrjt)

9 The stupidity, may it burn then with the heat of a thousand suns.

And now Foamy the Squirrel on 'Woke' - language warning.
https://youtu.be/f5ZO7RcVPGE

Posted by: Anna Puma at May 03, 2017 05:25 PM (Qonp0)

10 THERE ARE NO EGGS IN "THE DIRTY DOZEN"!!!

Posted by: Rebecca Theodore at May 03, 2017 05:25 PM (qJhUV)

11 And if the cast was all Asian, it would be racist, too.

Posted by: josephistan at May 03, 2017 05:25 PM (7HtZB)

12 7 Been to Panda Express several times. Never seen a single fucking panda.

This shit's gotta stop.
Posted by: Dang at May 03, 2017 05:25 PM (8b+oT)

That's because they're processed off-site.

Posted by: Insomniac at May 03, 2017 05:25 PM (0mRoj)

13 We had all the orientals beaten and dragged off by their ankles.

Posted by: United Airlines at May 03, 2017 05:25 PM (hv9Rf)

14 And when was the last time they had any actual fruit in the Apple Store, huh?

Posted by: pep at May 03, 2017 05:26 PM (LAe3v)

15 The X-Men didn't have any trannies.

Posted by: Northernlurker, Phillips screwdriver of the gods at May 03, 2017 05:26 PM (hJrjt)

16 Just checked in the living room. Our rug is a fraud...an exclusionary, racist fraud.

Posted by: Mike Hammer, etc., etc. at May 03, 2017 05:26 PM (OdK9v)

17 Please excuse my contradiction, but Robert Traczinsky is wrong. The story DOES start in Turkey. The opening scenes are in Constantinople, and the Orient Express heads westward, and the crime occurs in the former Yugoslavia. The train car is supposed to reach Calais, but it never gets there by the end of the book.

Posted by: GKCfan at May 03, 2017 05:26 PM (Op4lL)

18 13
We had all the orientals beaten and dragged off by their ankles.

Posted by: United Airlines


Ah, yes. Asian takeout.

Posted by: pep at May 03, 2017 05:26 PM (LAe3v)

19 And when was the last time they had any actual fruit in the Apple Store, huh?
Posted by: pep at May 03, 2017 05:26 PM (LAe3v)
-------

I see you haven't been to my Apple store.

Posted by: bluebell at May 03, 2017 05:27 PM (sBOL1)

20 There's no grapes or nuts in Grape Nuts.

Posted by: Northernlurker, Phillips screwdriver of the gods at May 03, 2017 05:27 PM (hJrjt)

21 The Mongorians couldn't get over the Great Wall of Trump.

Posted by: Boss Moss at May 03, 2017 05:27 PM (hv9Rf)

22
Dood, I'm so confused. Teh Ewok writes a movie review about a movie review about a movie? That's so meta it hurts my brainbucket.

Posted by: IllTemperedCur at May 03, 2017 05:27 PM (quw2O)

23 Full disclosure - I've not yet read or watched "Murder on the Orient Express", but just based on my knowledge of the times, I assumed it referred to the Ottoman Empire, and not kung fu Asia.

Posted by: josephistan at May 03, 2017 05:27 PM (7HtZB)

24 I tried parking on a parkway and got a ticket.

Posted by: WitchDoktor, AKA VA GOP Sucks at May 03, 2017 05:27 PM (2VN2E)

25 that film on Nat Geo channel about Einstein has young Einstein played by someone named Johnny Flynn. No Jewish actors available? I am offended bigly

Posted by: mallfly suPreme at May 03, 2017 05:27 PM (b7fwp)

26 "Violent Conversation on the Asian-American HIGH. SPEED. RAIL."

Posted by: Deplorable Jay Guevara at May 03, 2017 05:27 PM (SRKgf)

27 ah ha ha
ah ha ha ha ha ha
ah ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha

Posted by: If I didn't laugh I'd cry at May 03, 2017 05:28 PM (cfjq1)

28 16 Just checked in the living room. Our rug is a fraud...an exclusionary, racist fraud.
Posted by: Mike Hammer, etc., etc. at May 03, 2017 05:26 PM (OdK9v)

But it really ties the room together

Posted by: Insomniac at May 03, 2017 05:28 PM (0mRoj)

29 I believe Orient derives from the Latin word for East. As in East Europe.

Posted by: Jack Sock at May 03, 2017 05:28 PM (V+jJS)

30 oh well, another movie marketed on lies that i'll never see.

Posted by: chavez the hugo at May 03, 2017 05:28 PM (KP5rU)

31 19
And when was the last time they had any actual fruit in the Apple Store, huh?

Posted by: pep at May 03, 2017 05:26 PM (LAe3v)

-------



I see you haven't been to my Apple store.



Posted by: bluebell


I've never been in ANY Apple store. I don't let that stand in the way of a perfectly weak joke.

Posted by: pep at May 03, 2017 05:28 PM (LAe3v)

32 MST3K classic "Future War" doesn't take place in the future, and there is no war.

Posted by: josephistan at May 03, 2017 05:28 PM (7HtZB)

33 I can't remember but were there any dogs in Reservoir Dogs?

Posted by: Northernlurker, Phillips screwdriver of the gods at May 03, 2017 05:28 PM (hJrjt)

34 I tried parking on a parkway and got a ticket.
Posted by: WitchDoktor, AKA VA GOP Sucks at May 03, 2017 05:27 PM (2VN2E)
--------

You'll get a ticket if you get high on the highway, too.

Maybe not in Colorado.

Posted by: bluebell at May 03, 2017 05:29 PM (sBOL1)

35 How does she know there are no Asians in the cast? Perhaps each and every one of them identifies as Asian. Who is she to say?

Posted by: kathysaysso at May 03, 2017 05:29 PM (43OZ6)

36 Orient and Occident in Latin.

Posted by: Boss Moss at May 03, 2017 05:29 PM (hv9Rf)

37 Oh, that whole Adventureland thing at Disneyland? Bunch of bullshit.

Posted by: WitchDoktor, AKA VA GOP Sucks at May 03, 2017 05:29 PM (2VN2E)

38 25 that film on Nat Geo channel about Einstein has young Einstein played by someone named Johnny Flynn. No Jewish actors available? I am offended bigly
Posted by: mallfly suPreme at May 03, 2017 05:27 PM (b7fwp)

I think he shortened his name from Flynnstein.

Posted by: Jack Sock at May 03, 2017 05:29 PM (V+jJS)

39
So, "The World of Henry Orient" is racist because no George Tacky-eye?

Posted by: J.J. Sefton at May 03, 2017 05:29 PM (mbhDw)

40 I've never been in ANY Apple store. I don't let that stand in the way of a perfectly weak joke.
Posted by: pep at May 03, 2017 05:28 PM (LAe3v)
------

Spoken like a true moron.

Posted by: bluebell at May 03, 2017 05:29 PM (sBOL1)

41 The China Syndrome! WHERE ARE THE ASIANS!!!

Posted by: Rebecca Theodore at May 03, 2017 05:29 PM (qJhUV)

42 Where does the film fatale person work and live? I bet it doesn't quite look like America as they like to say.

Posted by: CaliGirl at May 03, 2017 05:30 PM (Ri/rl)

43 Throw Rebecca from the train

Posted by: Tinfoilbaby at May 03, 2017 05:30 PM (6Ll1u)

44 I think we're all losing sight of the fact that someone lost their life on that train, you guys.

Posted by: Christopher Naron at May 03, 2017 05:30 PM (7Zp4G)

45 We tried to film 'Hell in a Very Small Place' but we couldn't find enough Asians and Africans to play the French Army.

Posted by: JEM at May 03, 2017 05:30 PM (TppKb)

46 41 The China Syndrome! WHERE ARE THE ASIANS!!!
Posted by: Rebecca Theodore at May 03, 2017 05:29 PM (qJhUV)


And all those films by Norman Jewison? Don't get me started!

Posted by: J.J. Sefton at May 03, 2017 05:30 PM (mbhDw)

47 Me go fix dinner now.

Posted by: Hop Sing at May 03, 2017 05:30 PM (DMUuz)

48
Oh, and isn't "Oriental" now considered to be a racial slur by the SJWs? So in other words, this scrunt is pissed off that there aren't any Asians in the film so she can insult them.

Posted by: IllTemperedCur at May 03, 2017 05:30 PM (quw2O)

49 I just saw "Witness for the Prosecution", another amazingly famous Agatha Christie movie/play.

Not a single person of color to be found in this tale of a society woman who is murdered, and the lead suspect (Tyrone Power) is an eccentric American inventor and/or his German wife (Marlene Dietrich). Charles Laughton plays a cranky barrister and his (real-life) wife Elsa Lanchester plays the barrister's nurse. (Both won Oscar noms.)

Given that The System disproportionately persecutes blacks, however, I think this film is problematically unwoke.

Posted by: moviegique at May 03, 2017 05:31 PM (7zeA4)

50 Nothing but loundeyes.

Posted by: Wi Tu Low at May 03, 2017 05:31 PM (hv9Rf)

51 The mind gobbling body stealing alien in the Hammer horror movie Horror Express would starve to death if these Soviet Justice Wankers were the passengers.

Posted by: Anna Puma at May 03, 2017 05:31 PM (Qonp0)

52 that film on Nat Geo channel about Einstein has young Einstein played by someone named Johnny Flynn. No Jewish actors available? I am offended bigly
Posted by: mallfly suPreme at May 03, 2017 05:27 PM (b7fwp)

I think he shortened his name from Flynnstein.
Posted by: Jack Sock




Flynnberg.

Posted by: rickb223 at May 03, 2017 05:31 PM (Njtx4)

53 Again she demonstrates her incredible ignorance: A British soldier played in the Oscar-winning 1974 spectacle by Sean Connery is now played by a black actor, and a Swedish humanitarian relief worker played by Igrid Bergman (who nabbed an Oscar) is now played by Penelope Cruz.


This is why I always hate remakes of past famous films. They get PCized for the modern movies and they suck.

Posted by: Vic We Have No Party at May 03, 2017 05:31 PM (mpXpK)

54 That's nothing. Have you seen all the KKK supporters at baseball games?

Posted by: Juniper Napoleon at May 03, 2017 05:31 PM (fD1ST)

55 Rebecca Theodore outs herself as an ignoramous, and will suffer no consequence, except some accolades for her virtue signalling from an equally ignorant audience.
Fashionable Society has become decadent and banal, only interested in preening for each other.
They should be ignored, and/or mocked, as the mood dictates.

Posted by: kraken at May 03, 2017 05:31 PM (zSVEm)

56 47 Me go fix dinner now.
Posted by: Hop Sing at May 03, 2017 05:30 PM (DMUuz)


Ancient Chinese Secret.

Strong enough for a man, but made for a ladyboy.

Posted by: J.J. Sefton at May 03, 2017 05:31 PM (mbhDw)

57 Baby Ruth is neither a baby or Ruth

Posted by: Chelsea wanting mom to stay out of her spotlight.. at May 03, 2017 05:32 PM (O2RFr)

58 If it's not Scottish, it's CRAP!

Posted by: 3M Corp at May 03, 2017 05:32 PM (OdK9v)

59
So, second looks at Al Jolson and Eddie Cantor?

Posted by: J.J. Sefton at May 03, 2017 05:32 PM (mbhDw)

60 >>> I just saw "Witness for the Prosecution", another amazingly famous Agatha Christie movie/play.

i saw a made-for-tv-movie remake of that, I think from the 80s. They changed the ending to make it brighter or whatever.

Posted by: ace at May 03, 2017 05:32 PM (8rNrN)

61 As for this "film critic" I wouldn't expect no better. Most film critics are dumber than a creosote post.

Posted by: Vic We Have No Party at May 03, 2017 05:32 PM (mpXpK)

62 The Sand Pebbles! Plenty of Asians, BUT WHERE ARE THE PEBBLES?? AND THE SAND???

Posted by: Rebecca Theodore at May 03, 2017 05:32 PM (qJhUV)

63 I'd be pissed though if I was a movie reviewer and saw John Wayne playing Ghengis Khan. Wait what?

Posted by: Jack Sock at May 03, 2017 05:32 PM (V+jJS)

64 Fashionable Society has become decadent and banal, only interested in preening for each other.

Nicely put.

Posted by: pep at May 03, 2017 05:33 PM (LAe3v)

65

Bolling and Timpf? @5?

Posted by: artisanal 'ette at May 03, 2017 05:33 PM (fceHP)

66 I tried parking on a parkway and got a ticket.
Posted by: WitchDoktor, AKA VA GOP Sucks at May 03, 2017 05:27 PM (2VN2E)
--------

You'll get a ticket if you get high on the highway, too.

Maybe not in Colorado.

Posted by: bluebell



I drove on the driveway. Short trip.

Posted by: rickb223 at May 03, 2017 05:33 PM (Njtx4)

67 47 Me go fix dinner now.
Posted by: Hop Sing at May 03, 2017 05:30 PM (DMUuz)



Oh no, not dog again. I just had a puppy for lunch!

Posted by: Barry Soetoro at May 03, 2017 05:33 PM (SRKgf)

68 If I was that black fella, I'd be seriously worried about some white privilege.

Posted by: Fritz at May 03, 2017 05:33 PM (TNQMS)

69
Listen, if Miyoshi Umeki can play a character named Mrs. Livingston, it's all good.

Posted by: J.J. Sefton at May 03, 2017 05:33 PM (mbhDw)

70 Two things about this sub-genius

1) She responded to someone telling her about black history that she "didn't need whitey telling her about history, that's what books are for"
2) She also writes for the New York Times on occasion.

She's a really dumb, angry person who is doubling and tripling down on the stupid the more she's called on this nonsense.

Posted by: Christopher R Taylor at May 03, 2017 05:33 PM (39g3+)

71 I think I'll go with my memories of the 1974 film directed by Sidney Lumet which had some fine actors in it.

Posted by: FenelonSpoke at May 03, 2017 05:33 PM (fDdVG)

72 23 Full disclosure - I've not yet read or watched "Murder on the Orient Express", but just based on my knowledge of the times, I assumed it referred to the Naked Man on the Ottoman Empire, and not kung fu Asia.
Posted by: josephistan at May 03, 2017 05:27 PM


FIFY.

Posted by: Duncanthrax at May 03, 2017 05:34 PM (DMUuz)

73 Did The Neverending Story actually end?

Posted by: Bertram Cabot, Jr. at May 03, 2017 05:34 PM (IqV8l)

74 The Longest Day was only 24 hours. FRAUD!

Posted by: Deplorable Jay Guevara at May 03, 2017 05:34 PM (SRKgf)

75 Isn't calling an individual "Oriental" racist, according to the Left? That was reserved for objects.

I thought the new term was "Slant-Eyed Jewel".

...or something of the like.

Posted by: Slapweasel, (Cold1) (T) at May 03, 2017 05:34 PM (6gk0M)

76 Its been a long time and will have to go Google it but the Orient Express didn't go all the way to the orient.
And I was correct it only went from Paris to Constantinople.

Posted by: Skip at May 03, 2017 05:34 PM (Ot7+c)

77 The Sand Pebbles! Plenty of Asians, BUT WHERE ARE THE PEBBLES??



DON'T LOOK IN THE MISH!
Posted by: Lena Dunham

Posted by: rickb223 at May 03, 2017 05:34 PM (Njtx4)

78 i saw a made-for-tv-movie remake of that, I think from the 80s. They changed the ending to make it brighter or whatever.

Posted by: ace at May 03, 2017 05:32 PM (8rNrN)
-------

Seriously? I'm trying to think how they could change the ending without changing the whole thing.

Or do the main characters just walk off hand-in-hand in the sunset, holding hands and laughing, so we know it's really okay?

Posted by: bluebell at May 03, 2017 05:34 PM (sBOL1)

79 How about a remake of "Evil Under the Sun" with all the cast members get sunburned.

Posted by: dantesed at May 03, 2017 05:34 PM (88xKn)

80 Don't interrupt her. She's affirmative actioning.

Posted by: Lord Sir x at May 03, 2017 05:34 PM (nFwvY)

81 Mars Attacks had no Martian actors.

Posted by: Boss Moss at May 03, 2017 05:35 PM (hv9Rf)

82 Nothing but loundeyes.
Posted by: Wi Tu Low


My Chinese relatives can never get enough of Ho Lee Fuk.

https://goo.gl/EtnkY

Posted by: JEM at May 03, 2017 05:35 PM (TppKb)

83 >>>15 The X-Men didn't have any trannies.

Yet.

Posted by: Marvel Comics' Division of Thinking Up New Ways to Alienate The Public at May 03, 2017 05:35 PM (8rNrN)

84 63 I'd be pissed though if I was a movie reviewer and saw John Wayne playing Ghengis Khan. Wait what?
Posted by: Jack Sock at May 03, 2017 05:32 PM (V+jJS)

They wanted to get Red Buttons to play Genghis Cohen but he was unavailable.

Posted by: J.J. Sefton at May 03, 2017 05:35 PM (mbhDw)

85 Ant Turks in it?

Posted by: Skip at May 03, 2017 05:35 PM (Ot7+c)

86 Things really weren't All Quiet on the Western Front...

Posted by: It's me donna at May 03, 2017 05:35 PM (O2RFr)

87 Was she complaining about a lack of Pakistanis?

Posted by: Bertram Cabot, Jr. at May 03, 2017 05:35 PM (IqV8l)

88 Isn't calling an individual "Oriental" racist, according to the Left? That was reserved for objects.

I thought the new term was "Slant-Eyed Jewel".

...or something of the like.



They're all Roof Koreans.

Posted by: rickb223 at May 03, 2017 05:35 PM (Njtx4)

89 Wow, I work for The New York Fucking Times! Can you believe it?

Posted by: Rebecca Theodore at May 03, 2017 05:35 PM (qJhUV)

90 I sat and watched Roots.

Not one damned tree was pulled up.

Posted by: WitchDoktor, AKA VA GOP Sucks at May 03, 2017 05:35 PM (2VN2E)

91 Everything east of Rome is the Orient.

Posted by: Boss Moss at May 03, 2017 05:35 PM (hv9Rf)

92 >>>Seriously? I'm trying to think how they could change the ending without changing the whole thing.

well no, they played the bulk of the story as it was in the book, but then added on events at the end to Bring Great Justice or whatever to the perps.

Posted by: ace at May 03, 2017 05:35 PM (8rNrN)

93 Fenelon, is that the one with Peter Ustinov or Albert Finney?

Posted by: dantesed at May 03, 2017 05:36 PM (88xKn)

94 63 I'd be pissed though if I was a movie reviewer and saw John Wayne playing Ghengis Khan. Wait what?
Posted by: Jack Sock at May 03, 2017 05:32 PM (V+jJS)

That's like someone casting me to play a Mexican.

Posted by: Zombie Charlton Heston at May 03, 2017 05:36 PM (7HtZB)

95 Movie called "Orient Express" - and I don't see any Asian people
..........

It's High Speed Rail, the wind blew their eyelids open.

Posted by: wth at May 03, 2017 05:36 PM (HgMAr)

96 Posted by: Duncanthrax at May 03, 2017 05:34 PM (DMUuz)
------

You.

Posted by: bluebell at May 03, 2017 05:36 PM (sBOL1)

97
Quick, name the Celestial character-sidekick on Have Gun Will Travel!

Posted by: Soothsayer -- That's class! at May 03, 2017 05:36 PM (5FR1m)

98 Just let the left keep it up with the identity politics. It is out of control and will not end well in the long run. Talk about divide and conquer.

Posted by: Ladylibertarian at May 03, 2017 05:36 PM (TdMsT)

99 OT: Katherine Timpf has the potential to be cute in a Dana Perino way, but she's one of those who thinks skinny is attractive, and forgot to stop before she got to skeletal.

Posted by: pep at May 03, 2017 05:36 PM (LAe3v)

100 I only have so much outrage to spend.

Dumb movie reviewers? Don't make the cut.

Posted by: mnw at May 03, 2017 05:36 PM (6kzAH)

101 There's no grapes or nuts in Grape Nuts.

Thankfully there are no jacks in Apple Jacks either

Posted by: Christopher R Taylor at May 03, 2017 05:36 PM (39g3+)

102 81 Mars Attacks had no Martian actors.
Posted by: Boss Moss at May 03, 2017 05:35 PM (hv9Rf)


Sheila Jackson-Lee played a flag.

Posted by: J.J. Sefton at May 03, 2017 05:37 PM (mbhDw)

103 Just read this morning that Johnny Depp has to have his lines fed to him through an ear piece. Now I will not be able to watch any of his movies without thinking about this.

Posted by: washrivergal at May 03, 2017 05:37 PM (/xKV7)

104 Iowahawk's tweet response was my favorite:

Have you read the book?
Let me rephrase that... have you read a book?

Posted by: Dan Smoot's apprentice at May 03, 2017 05:37 PM (s/yC1)

105 >>>87 Was she complaining about a lack of Pakistanis?


she began claiming that when it was pointed out to her the Orient Express did not in fact travel to the Orient.

She began playing it off that she just meant "Asian" actors as in "Indian and Pakistani actors who are British citizens."

PS, the train also did not go to India or Pakistan.

It didn't go many places, in fact. It was entirely a European train.

Posted by: ace at May 03, 2017 05:37 PM (8rNrN)

106 That show Bonanza?

Not a single buffet to be seen.

Posted by: WitchDoktor, AKA VA GOP Sucks at May 03, 2017 05:37 PM (2VN2E)

107 Dog Day Afternoon has no dogs. What the hell?

Posted by: dantesed at May 03, 2017 05:37 PM (88xKn)

108 Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon didn't have any animals in it.

Posted by: Northernlurker, Phillips screwdriver of the gods at May 03, 2017 05:37 PM (hJrjt)

109 Movie called "Orient Express" - and I don't see any Asian people
............

They're all outside working on the tracks.

Posted by: wth at May 03, 2017 05:38 PM (HgMAr)

110 This just in: Due to public pressure " Murder on the Orient Express" renamed "Murder on the White Guy Express".

Posted by: tu3031 at May 03, 2017 05:38 PM (qJhUV)

111 well no, they played the bulk of the story as it was in the book, but then added on events at the end to Bring Great Justice or whatever to the perps.

Posted by: ace at May 03, 2017 05:35 PM (8rNrN)
------

Ah. I see. Thanks.

Posted by: bluebell at May 03, 2017 05:38 PM (sBOL1)

112 I don't think anyone was really murdered on the Orient Express ever. This whole picture is a sham.

Posted by: Soona at May 03, 2017 05:38 PM (sGd9N)

113

and then there is Poirot's version

Posted by: artisanal 'ette at May 03, 2017 05:38 PM (fceHP)

114
So will there be mass protests over "Alien Covenant" for not being "Undocumented Covenant?"

Asking for a fiend.

Posted by: J.J. Sefton at May 03, 2017 05:38 PM (mbhDw)

115 I also don't see any Peruvians in the movie. Shame, shame.

Posted by: Rebecca Dumbass at May 03, 2017 05:38 PM (Tyii7)

116 84 63 I'd be pissed though if I was a movie reviewer and saw John Wayne playing Ghengis Khan. Wait what?
Posted by: Jack Sock at May 03, 2017 05:32 PM (V+jJS)

They wanted to get Red Buttons to play Genghis Cohen but he was unavailable.
Posted by: J.J. Sefton at May 03, 2017 05:35 PM (mbhDw)

Heh. I can see Jackie Mason playing that part.

Before I kill you. Have you eaten yet? Do you want a piece of cake? Let's have a piece of cake.

Posted by: Jack Sock at May 03, 2017 05:39 PM (V+jJS)

117 i saw a made-for-tv-movie remake of that, I think from the 80s. They changed the ending to make it brighter or whatever.

Posted by: ace at May 03, 2017 05:32 PM (8rNrN)


Next they'll remake Sophie's Choice with some snappy show tunes and an upbeat ending. And a diverse cast, of course.

Posted by: Deplorable Jay Guevara at May 03, 2017 05:39 PM (SRKgf)

118 >>>They're all outside working on the tracks.


One of her SJW White Knights did in fact make that argument when it was demonstrated the train did not run to "The Orient." He said, "Asians built the train, sweetie," apparently imagining the Orient Express was built out in the American west near San Francisco.

Posted by: ace at May 03, 2017 05:39 PM (8rNrN)

119 Catch you guys tonight on the ONT!

*Drives Golden Spike*

*static*

Posted by: Slapweasel, (Cold1) (T) at May 03, 2017 05:39 PM (6gk0M)

120 I also like the idea of a desert planet with nothing but sand and sun and the Star Wars creators thought they needed to import the only black man from f*cking outer space.

Posted by: Moron Robbie at May 03, 2017 05:39 PM (fD1ST)

121
uick, name the Celestial character-sidekick on Have Gun Will Travel!

Posted by: Soothsayer -- That's class! at May 03, 2017 05:36 PM


Hey Boy

Posted by: Bertram Cabot, Jr. at May 03, 2017 05:39 PM (IqV8l)

122 Memphis Belle had nothing to do with Graceland or Elvis.

Posted by: rd at May 03, 2017 05:39 PM (iT57s)

123 For the record, I do not want to see any of these people naked.

Posted by: Weasel at May 03, 2017 05:39 PM (Sfs6o)

124 Movie called "Orient Express" - and I don't see any Asian people
..............

They just rang the doorbell with the food delivery.

Posted by: wth at May 03, 2017 05:39 PM (HgMAr)

125 103 Just read this morning that Johnny Depp has to have his lines fed to him through an ear piece. Now I will not be able to watch any of his movies without thinking about this.
Posted by: washrivergal at May 03, 2017 05:37 PM (/xKV7)


You do know how Brando did his lines in "The Godfather?"

Posted by: J.J. Sefton at May 03, 2017 05:40 PM (mbhDw)

126 I liked Footloose, but was thinking it would show at least SOME dismemberment.

Posted by: WitchDoktor, AKA VA GOP Sucks at May 03, 2017 05:40 PM (2VN2E)

127 Movie called "Orient Express" - and I don't see any Asian people
............

They're all outside working on the tracks.
Posted by: wth


Sweargin cocksuckas!
Posted by: Mr. Wu

Posted by: rickb223 at May 03, 2017 05:40 PM (Njtx4)

128 Japanese Bullet Trains discovered to not actually be bullets. Scandal revealed by NYT.

Posted by: Mike Hammer, etc., etc. at May 03, 2017 05:40 PM (OdK9v)

129 Bill Murray's "Meatballs" had nothing to do with spagetti or ground beef items

Posted by: Charles Manson at May 03, 2017 05:41 PM (DpOmP)

130 There's no grapes or nuts in Grape Nuts.

Hey! What's the deal with Ovaltine??

Posted by: tu3031 at May 03, 2017 05:41 PM (qJhUV)

131 This movie last two houah. You go now.

Posted by: Bertram Cabot, Jr. at May 03, 2017 05:41 PM (IqV8l)

132 And my cereal never went Kaboom! when I added milk.

Posted by: Mr Aspirin Factory at May 03, 2017 05:41 PM (89T5c)

133 Sheila Jackson-Lee played a flag.

Or James Brown, or something.

Posted by: JEM at May 03, 2017 05:41 PM (TppKb)

134
isn't there a mystery movie set on a train called the Vanishing Lady, or something?

Posted by: Soothsayer -- That's class! at May 03, 2017 05:41 PM (5FR1m)

135 And the movie Caddyshack had nothing to do with shacking the caddy.

Posted by: Anna Puma at May 03, 2017 05:41 PM (Qonp0)

136 There's no Dick in "Moby Dick!"

Posted by: Sandra Fluke at May 03, 2017 05:41 PM (7uYFy)

137 In "Fiesta," Esther Williams played a... bullfighter.

So that was casting with a social justice touch, way ahead of its time.

And I had just thought it was btreathtakingly idiotic.

Posted by: mnw at May 03, 2017 05:42 PM (6kzAH)

138 OT
Now they're digging into his past. Biography of Obama says he used cocaine, gay relationship and cheated on Michelle.

I still want to see his college transcripts.


http://preview.tinyurl.com/le3c2ya

Posted by: CaliGirl at May 03, 2017 05:42 PM (Ri/rl)

139 She began playing it off that she just meant "Asian" actors as in "Indian and Pakistani actors who are British citizens."



PS, the train also did not go to India or Pakistan.


Ya know, after I'd made a national fool of myself over geography, I might be inclined to pull out a map. Maybe that's just me.

Posted by: pep at May 03, 2017 05:42 PM (LAe3v)

140
"Dragnet" had no ladyboys in fishnets.

Posted by: J.J. Sefton at May 03, 2017 05:42 PM (mbhDw)

141 I listened over and over to The Doobie Brothers classic "China Grove" and there were no Asians in those lyrics either

Posted by: kbdabear at May 03, 2017 05:42 PM (AOrEZ)

142
Hey Boy

hey racist

Posted by: Soothsayer -- That's class! at May 03, 2017 05:42 PM (5FR1m)

143 I would go for bringing back the whole "Oriental" thing. Just because someone used to say it with a "tone" to their voice doesn't mean it's always a slur. It's better than lumping way too many peoples together with the term, "Asian." Or maybe go way back and start calling folks from China "Celestials" again.

Posted by: Dang at May 03, 2017 05:42 PM (8b+oT)

144 isn't there a mystery movie set on a train called the Vanishing Lady, or something?
Posted by: Soothsayer -- That's class! at May 03, 2017 05:41 PM (5FR1m)
-------

The Lady Vanishes. It's an old Alfred Hitchcock movie. And it's good.

Posted by: bluebell at May 03, 2017 05:42 PM (sBOL1)

145 One of her SJW White Knights did in fact make that argument when it was demonstrated the train did not run to "The Orient." He said, "Asians built the train, sweetie," apparently imagining the Orient Express was built out in the American west near San Francisco.

Posted by: ace at May 03, 2017 05:39 PM (8rNrN)


She's mixing up Hell on Wheels.

Posted by: artisanal 'ette at May 03, 2017 05:42 PM (fceHP)

146 >>>isn't there a mystery movie set on a train called the Vanishing Lady, or something?

The Lady Vanishes, by Alfred Hitchcock, which might have been based on an Agatha Christie story.

Supposedly it's good. Was remade at least once.

Posted by: ace at May 03, 2017 05:42 PM (8rNrN)

147
The Lady Who Vanished??

Posted by: Soothsayer -- That's class! at May 03, 2017 05:42 PM (5FR1m)

148 Never interrupt a fool making a fool of herself.

Posted by: Strobe at May 03, 2017 05:42 PM (gbWkA)

149 Sooth, you are thinking of the 1938 movie The Lady Vanishes

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0030341/?ref_=nv_sr_2

Posted by: Anna Puma at May 03, 2017 05:42 PM (Qonp0)

150 Penelope Cruz is SWEDISH?

I had no idea...

Posted by: Rosasharn at May 03, 2017 05:43 PM (PzBTm)

151 I won't rest until Jackie Chan is cast in the Marlon Brando role from Apocalypse Now. Brando doesn't even look Vietnamese! That's racist!

Posted by: wooga at May 03, 2017 05:43 PM (k/szL)

152 Movie called "Orient Express" - and I don't see any Asian people
.............

I see an Asian/Black, an Asian/Ginger, and an Asian/Pirate.

Posted by: wth at May 03, 2017 05:43 PM (HgMAr)

153
You do know how Brando did his lines in "The Godfather?"

Posted by: J.J. Sefton at May 03, 2017 05:40 PM (mbhDw)

+++

Is it dirty, cuz you make it sound like it's dirty. Don't keep me in suspense .

Posted by: washrivergal at May 03, 2017 05:43 PM (/xKV7)

154 bluebell/ace:

Allegedly Billy Wilder added the ending to the movie version "Witness". I assume this refers to Dietrich's ultimate solution to the Powers problem, which seems sort of un-Christie to me.

Posted by: moviegique at May 03, 2017 05:43 PM (7zeA4)

155 Its been a long time and will have to go Google it but the Orient Express didn't go all the way to the orient.
And I was correct it only went from Paris to Constantinople.
Posted by: Skip


The 'orient' in the original phraseology only meant places east of Greece.

Posted by: weft cut-loop at May 03, 2017 05:43 PM (GgzGa)

156 136
There's no Dick in "Moby Dick!"

Posted by: Sandra Fluke


Free My Willy, however, was very aptly named.

Posted by: pep at May 03, 2017 05:43 PM (LAe3v)

157 Some of the problem is that the only books Millenial have ever read for pleasure (non school assigned) are the books of the Harry Potter series. As I believe Ace has said many times.

Posted by: PBJ1515 at May 03, 2017 05:43 PM (0aepE)

158 Just googled 'Rebecca Theodore'.

Just so.

Posted by: JEM at May 03, 2017 05:43 PM (TppKb)

159
isn't there a mystery movie set on a train called the Vanishing Lady, or something?
Posted by: Soothsayer -- That's class! at May 03, 2017 05:41 PM


The Lady Vanishes

Posted by: Bertram Cabot, Jr. at May 03, 2017 05:43 PM (IqV8l)

160 Was she complaining about a lack of Pakistanis?
Posted by: Bertram Cabot




Who has EVER done that?

Posted by: rickb223 at May 03, 2017 05:44 PM (Njtx4)

161 Groundhog Day?

Filmed over the course of many weeks.

You're welcome.

Posted by: Neil Degrasse Tyson at May 03, 2017 05:44 PM (fD1ST)

162 OT
Now they're digging into his past. Biography of Obama says he used cocaine, gay relationship and cheated on Michelle.

I still want to see his college transcripts.


http://preview.tinyurl.com/le3c2ya
Posted by: CaliGirl at May 03, 2017 05:42 PM (Ri/rl)


everything they stand for and applaud

Posted by: artisanal 'ette at May 03, 2017 05:44 PM (fceHP)

163 Every alien space movie doesn't have any aliens

Posted by: Skip at May 03, 2017 05:44 PM (Ot7+c)

164
Sooth, you are thinking of the 1938 movie The Lady Vanishes

1938?
So the one I'm thinking of is from the 70's I think, which must be the remake Ace mentioned.

Posted by: Soothsayer -- That's class! at May 03, 2017 05:44 PM (5FR1m)

165 153
Is it dirty, cuz you make it sound like it's dirty. Don't keep me in suspense .
Posted by: washrivergal at May 03, 2017 05:43 PM (/xKV7)


He had the actors he was in the scene with hold cue cards in front of him, or write their lines on their shirts.

Posted by: J.J. Sefton at May 03, 2017 05:44 PM (mbhDw)

166 The Holy Roman Empire was neither Holy, nor Roman and it wasn't an Empire!

Posted by: Befuddled History Prof. at May 03, 2017 05:44 PM (7uYFy)

167 Sefton... lady-boys and fishnets.

That should have been in the movie with Tom Hanks and Dan Ackroyd and PAGAN.

Posted by: Anna Puma at May 03, 2017 05:44 PM (Qonp0)

168 There is no history before the very special millennial were born. No novels, wars, HISTORY. Well maybe slavery in the US but no where else. EVER! Not only are too many of them totally ignorant, but incurious and dumb too. These fools didn't even Google it.

Posted by: Lester at May 03, 2017 05:44 PM (LfJIn)

169 Yeah, and I didn't see any science guy in Bill Nye The Science Guy.

Posted by: WitchDoktor, AKA VA GOP Sucks at May 03, 2017 05:44 PM (2VN2E)

170 when one character hands an object to another character, that's a sign of a "power relationship" between them, with the giver showing Power over the givee

I want someone to demonstrate their power over me by giving me tribute.

Posted by: Grump928(C) at May 03, 2017 05:45 PM (LTHVh)

171 Sooth, you are thinking of the 1938 movie The Lady Vanishes

1938?



They're remaking it as "The Lady Transitions."

Posted by: Deplorable Jay Guevara at May 03, 2017 05:45 PM (SRKgf)

172 Debbie Does Dallas?

Not hardly.

Posted by: Neil Degrasse Tyson at May 03, 2017 05:45 PM (fD1ST)

173 I think what this movie really needs is someone doing an impression of Mickey Rooney doing an impression of a Japanese neighbor, just like the one Rooney so memorably portrayed in 'Breakfast at Tiffanys'.

Yup, that'd do it.

Posted by: troyriser at May 03, 2017 05:45 PM (Fw5cQ)

174 The Lady from Shanghai wasn't Chinese. She a blonde white woman...rayciss.

Posted by: SJW at May 03, 2017 05:46 PM (7uYFy)

175 Movie called "Orient Express" - and I don't see any Asian people
...........

Who the hell do you think pressed their suits?

Posted by: wth at May 03, 2017 05:46 PM (HgMAr)

176 Hey Boy was no HeySoos

Posted by: Mr Favor at May 03, 2017 05:46 PM (nFwvY)

177 In The Gunslinger movie they have also switched the race of the main character from a white guy to a black guy, even though he was based on Clint Eastwood's man-with-no-name. If they go on to make the other books, will they switch the prominent black woman character to a latino I wonder? Or change Eddie to be from Minnesota instead of Brooklyn?

Anyways, I will probably avoid it even though McConaughey is the perfect Flagg.

Posted by: goodluckduck at May 03, 2017 05:46 PM (yqvys)

178 Years ago, co-worker of mine lived in China Grove, TX. It is a sleepy little town east of San Antone.

Posted by: Mr Aspirin Factory at May 03, 2017 05:46 PM (89T5c)

179 166
The Holy Roman Empire was neither Holy, nor Roman and it wasn't an Empire!

Posted by: Befuddled History Prof.


I know, right?

Posted by: Democratic People's Republic of Korea at May 03, 2017 05:46 PM (LAe3v)

180 Incidentally, don't bother watching this film. Pull up Poirot on Netflix and watch the David Suchet version. Its really, really good. That man was born to play Poirot.

Posted by: Christopher R Taylor at May 03, 2017 05:46 PM (39g3+)

181 Madam Butterfly was a tranny?

Posted by: Jack Sock at May 03, 2017 05:46 PM (V+jJS)

182 Movie called "Orient Express" - and I don't see any Asian people

............



They're all outside working on the tracks.

Posted by: wth

-----
I think some idiot actually tweeted that to Ace, thinking the Orient Express was part of the America railway built by the Chinese or something.

Posted by: Dang at May 03, 2017 05:46 PM (8b+oT)

183 Dock that man a day's pay for laying down on the job!

But he's dead!

Posted by: Fritz at May 03, 2017 05:46 PM (TNQMS)

184 Then we had Brando playing an Okinawan jack-of-all-trades in "Teahouse of the August Moon."

Angry riots would result if they did that today.

Posted by: mnw at May 03, 2017 05:46 PM (6kzAH)

185 All the action in Fargo happens in Minnesota?

Posted by: rd at May 03, 2017 05:47 PM (iT57s)

186 Wait until she finds out the Manchurian Candidate was totally played by a Jew, both times.

I think Rebecca must identify as "trans-educated".

Posted by: The Editorial Board of National Geographic (Classic Edition) at May 03, 2017 05:47 PM (j0ch/)

187 After all the misrepresentations, it's refreshing to see a movie title that's accurate.

I'm talking about "Beauty and the Beast," which I assume was about the two First Ladies at Trump's Inauguration.

Posted by: Deplorable Jay Guevara at May 03, 2017 05:47 PM (SRKgf)

188 One of her SJW White Knights did in fact make that argument when it
was demonstrated the train did not run to "The Orient." He said, "Asians
built the train, sweetie," apparently imagining the Orient Express was
built out in the American west near San Francisco.

I think she confused it with the Intercontinental Railway which, of course, succeeded in connecting the 57 states.

Posted by: Former President Prom Queen at May 03, 2017 05:47 PM (qJhUV)

189 I think some idiot actually tweeted that to Ace, thinking the Orient Express was part of the America railway built by the Chinese or something.
Posted by: Dang at May 03, 2017 05:46 PM (8b+oT)



Thanks, teachers' unions!

Posted by: Deplorable Jay Guevara at May 03, 2017 05:48 PM (SRKgf)

190 Well, avada kedavra at you, Ace.

*smugly smugs at her own literary reference*

Posted by: FilmFatale_NYC at May 03, 2017 05:48 PM (wwL6Q)

191 She protected her account.

heh.

Posted by: @ThePoliticalHat at May 03, 2017 05:48 PM (rUIbB)

192 Heh....Hollywood had a Hungarian jew playing the role of a Japanese-American detective. Can't recall the name of the characters.

Posted by: Your Decidedly Devious Uncle Palpatine. Glory to Kekistan! No Longer Accepting Harem Applicants at May 03, 2017 05:48 PM (UR6kz)

193 Can you say "affirmative action hire" ? Sure you can. Bet she went to an Ivy as an AA admit too.

Posted by: TwoDogs at May 03, 2017 05:48 PM (1HNby)

194 I just saw the Matrix and am very disappointed that there was no math involved.

Posted by: wooga at May 03, 2017 05:48 PM (k/szL)

195 He had the actors he was in the scene with hold cue cards in front of him, or write their lines on their shirts.

Posted by: J.J. Sefton at May 03, 2017 05:44 PM (mbhDw)

+++

Ah. I wonder if it is distracting to people who know this bit of trivia. Now I want to re-watch the film just to see how they pulled it off. Many times when you know something like this is going on, it becomes plainly obvious.

Posted by: washrivergal at May 03, 2017 05:48 PM (/xKV7)

196

She took the tweet down?

Posted by: artisanal 'ette at May 03, 2017 05:48 PM (fceHP)

197 192 Charlie Chan

Posted by: steevy at May 03, 2017 05:49 PM (r/0kC)

198 I saw that tweet earlier.
#headdesk

Posted by: @votermom @vm at May 03, 2017 05:49 PM (hMwEB)

199 Joe Butterfly wasn't an insect. He was Mick.

Posted by: Mr Favor at May 03, 2017 05:49 PM (nFwvY)

200 This is why I always hate remakes of past famous films. They get PCized for the modern movies and they suck.

They ruined the big screen version of "Wild Wild West" by casting Will Smith in the lead role.

Posted by: Crusader at May 03, 2017 05:49 PM (ewSN2)

201 Wings of Desire?

Not real angels.

Posted by: Neil Degrasse Tyson at May 03, 2017 05:49 PM (fD1ST)

202 Movie called "A Clockwork Orange" and I don't see any oranges anywhere. Or clocks.

Posted by: wooga at May 03, 2017 05:49 PM (k/szL)

203
Charlie Chan was played by two fake asians. Werner Klemperer and some other guy.

Posted by: Soothsayer -- That's class! at May 03, 2017 05:50 PM (5FR1m)

204 Trump will never win a second term without these people.

Posted by: redenzo at May 03, 2017 05:50 PM (5wSNN)

205 And what about "Baywatch?" Shoulda been called "Boobwatch." Nobody was watching the fucking bay.

Posted by: Deplorable Jay Guevara at May 03, 2017 05:50 PM (SRKgf)

206 Why is Doctor Who's companion now always a black woman?

Posted by: steevy at May 03, 2017 05:50 PM (r/0kC)

207 ITS FUNNY BECAUSE THE LONGEST YARD IS STILL ONLY 36 INCHES!

Posted by: BEN ROETHLESSBURGER at May 03, 2017 05:50 PM (kTF2Z)

208 "Bill Nye The Science Guy"

He really should start calling himself "Bill Nye, the Guy Who Played a Scientist on a Children's TV Show Twenty Years Ago".

He's no more a "scientist" than the guy who played the Professor on Gilligan's Island.

Posted by: The Editorial Board of National Geographic (Classic Edition) at May 03, 2017 05:50 PM (j0ch/)

209 I make racists jokes about Asian women drivers all the time, but they can't really go all SJW on me because I am an Asian woman who drives decently enough but cannot park to save her life.

Posted by: IC at May 03, 2017 05:50 PM (a0IVu)

210 She protected her account.

heh.
Posted by: @ThePoliticalHat at May 03, 2017 05:48 PM (rUIbB)


hiding

Posted by: artisanal 'ette at May 03, 2017 05:50 PM (fceHP)

211
Werner Klemperer was of course Col Klink, so that wasn't him.

Posted by: Soothsayer -- That's class! at May 03, 2017 05:51 PM (5FR1m)

212 Hel three blain cerrs must be so ronery

Posted by: Kim Jong Il at May 03, 2017 05:51 PM (DpOmP)

213 200 They ruined the big screen version of "Wild Wild West" by casting Will Smith in the lead role.

Posted by: Crusader at May 03, 2017 05:49 PM (ewSN2)

I looked at the previews for that and immediately decided I would avoid it. And I like Will Smith.

Posted by: Vic We Have No Party at May 03, 2017 05:51 PM (mpXpK)

214
You do know how Brando did his lines in "The Godfather?"

Posted by: J.J. Sefton at May 03, 2017 05:40 PM (mbhDw)







They stapled the cue cards to the cat.

Posted by: IllTemperedCur at May 03, 2017 05:51 PM (quw2O)

215 Hey Boy

hey racist




Hey fuckers.
Oh wait, that's Oklahomans.

Posted by: rickb223 at May 03, 2017 05:51 PM (Njtx4)

216 ITS FUNNY BECAUSE THE LONGEST YARD IS STILL ONLY 36 INCHES!
Posted by: BEN ROETHLESSBURGER at May 03, 2017 05:50 PM (kTF2Z)

Uhm, do you have his number??

Posted by: Sandra Fluke at May 03, 2017 05:51 PM (7uYFy)

217 211 Warner Oland

Posted by: steevy at May 03, 2017 05:51 PM (r/0kC)

218 Sweargin cocksuckas!
Posted by: Mr. Wu

Posted by: rickb223 at May 03, 2017 05:40 PM (Njtx4)

Now that was funny.

Posted by: wth at May 03, 2017 05:52 PM (HgMAr)

219 Olivier played the Mahdi in "Khartoum."

I think that kind of casting is a felony today.

Posted by: mnw at May 03, 2017 05:52 PM (6kzAH)

220 IC, all done?

Posted by: bluebell at May 03, 2017 05:52 PM (sBOL1)

221 IC....you are such a racist!! But really, Asian women drivers are terrible, I too can say that.

Posted by: lindarose at May 03, 2017 05:52 PM (fagTl)

222
Warner Oland

the other one??

Posted by: Soothsayer -- That's class! at May 03, 2017 05:52 PM (5FR1m)

223 I think the other actor was Sidney Toler

Posted by: steevy at May 03, 2017 05:52 PM (r/0kC)

224 I make racists jokes about Asian women drivers all the time, but they can't really go all SJW on me because I am an Asian woman who drives decently enough but cannot park to save her life.

Posted by: IC at May 03, 2017 05:50 PM (a0IVu)

Wait, what? You do realize parking is...oh, okay. Never mind. There's a rabbit hole up ahead. I'm not jumping in.

Posted by: troyriser at May 03, 2017 05:52 PM (Fw5cQ)

225 Again she demonstrates her incredible ignorance: A British soldier played in the Oscar-winning 1974 spectacle by Sean Connery is now played by a black actor, and a Swedish humanitarian relief worker played by Igrid Bergman (who nabbed an Oscar) is now played by Penelope Cruz.


This is why I always hate remakes of past famous films. They get PCized for the modern movies and they suck.


Posted by: Vic We Have No Party at May 03, 2017 05:31 PM (mpXpK)



---

Straight up brownwashing yo!

Posted by: Darth Randall at May 03, 2017 05:52 PM (6n332)

226 Or Myrna Loy playing Fah Lo See to Boris Karloff's Fu Manchu in the 1932 movie The Mask of Fu Manchu.

All these round-eyes taking Asian jobs.

Posted by: Anna Puma at May 03, 2017 05:52 PM (QF8oJ)

227 209 I make racists jokes about Asian women drivers all the time, but they can't really go all SJW on me because I am an Asian woman who drives decently enough but cannot park to save her life.
Posted by: IC at May 03, 2017 05:50 PM (a0IVu)



Parallel parking is encoded on the Y chromosome.

It's science.

Posted by: Deplorable Jay Guevara at May 03, 2017 05:52 PM (SRKgf)

228 Canary Islands? Actually known for, and populated with wild dogs. They are even on their flag http://tinyurl.com/k8hywhx

Posted by: Mike Hammer, etc., etc. at May 03, 2017 05:53 PM (OdK9v)

229 He's no more a "scientist" than the guy who played the Professor on Gilligan's Island.
Posted by: The Editorial Board of National Geographic (Classic Edition) at May 03, 2017 05:50 PM (j0ch/)


Actually, far less.

Posted by: Deplorable Flyover 98ZJUSMC at May 03, 2017 05:53 PM (EjfPg)

230 Werner Klemperer was of course Col Klink, so that wasn't him.

Can you imagine the hack-job they'd do in casting a remake of "Hogan's Heroes"?

Posted by: Crusader at May 03, 2017 05:53 PM (ewSN2)

231 First change the film name to Asian Express because Orient is fucking offensive.

Or so I'm told.

But now the film name sounds like some fast-casual noodle joint.

Posted by: Les Kinetic at May 03, 2017 05:53 PM (U6f54)

232 I didn't expect a casino, but I assumed Die Hard would contain at least one game of dice.

Posted by: Captain Oblivious at May 03, 2017 05:53 PM (Astxw)

233 I know this because my dad loved Charlie Chan movies.

Posted by: steevy at May 03, 2017 05:53 PM (r/0kC)

234
yeah Sidney Toler. That sounds right

Posted by: Soothsayer -- That's class! at May 03, 2017 05:53 PM (5FR1m)

235
In 'One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest' there are neither nests or any type of avian creatures. I would have demanded my money back, but then I got high.

Posted by: AfroMan at May 03, 2017 05:53 PM (HTdUD)

236
Madam Butterfly was a tranny?
Posted by: Jack Sock


Was she in Cocoon?

Posted by: Bertram Cabot, Jr. at May 03, 2017 05:53 PM (IqV8l)

237 221
IC....you are such a racist!! But really, Asian women drivers are terrible, I too can say that


Well, as long as we're in "True Confessions" mode, Skandis really do like jello salad.

Posted by: pep at May 03, 2017 05:53 PM (LAe3v)

238 IC....you are such a racist!! But really, Asian women drivers are terrible, I too can say that.
Posted by: lindarose at May 03, 2017 05:52 PM (fagTl)

+++

Asian male drivers are no picnic either.

Posted by: washrivergal at May 03, 2017 05:54 PM (/xKV7)

239 She protected her account.

heh.

Posted by: @ThePoliticalHat at May 03, 2017 05:48 PM (rUIbB)


Grrl power.

Posted by: Moron Robbie at May 03, 2017 05:54 PM (fD1ST)

240 209 I make racists jokes about Asian women drivers all the time, but they can't really go all SJW on me because I am an Asian woman who drives decently enough but cannot park to save her life.
Posted by: IC at May 03, 2017 05:50 PM (a0IVu)



So that third of Koreans named "Park" are just bullshitting us? At least the "Kims" and the "Lees" are honest.

Posted by: Deplorable Jay Guevara at May 03, 2017 05:54 PM (SRKgf)

241 Saw some WWII a couple years ago that had some black actor as the tough, grizzled sergeant leading a group of otherwise all white soldiers on a mission. Ruined what might have been an OK movie but that totally ruined it as that was stretching it too far. The military was still segregated, most black units were in support roles and no way was a black sergeant going to be leading a white platoon. But diversity and PC are more important than any historical accuracy, even if it ruins a movie. Soon Hollywood will be casting former presidents as black because, well, that is the way it should have been.

Posted by: Ripley at May 03, 2017 05:54 PM (1BQGO)

242 I was gonna say that no Hobbits were cast in any role in Lord of the Rings, but then I remembered...

Elijah Wood.

Posted by: Pug Mahon of the Clan Deplorable at May 03, 2017 05:54 PM (RwwCT)

243 That's like someone casting me to play a Mexican.

Posted by: Zombie Charlton Heston at May 03, 2017 05:36 PM (7HtZB)


There are actual Mexicans who are Whiter than Charlton Heston.

Heston playing a well-off upper class Mexican is, on racial grounds at least, quite reasonable and logical

Posted by: The Political Hat at May 03, 2017 05:54 PM (rUIbB)

244 226 Mmm,she kind of has an orgasm when the dude gets whipped....

Posted by: steevy at May 03, 2017 05:54 PM (r/0kC)

245 My nic is deteriorating every time I post not from home.

Posted by: lindarose at May 03, 2017 05:54 PM (fagTl)

246 Wild Wild West has Salma Hayek, but they used a butt double for the brief glimpse you see of her rear - so not worth sitting through the rest of the terrible movie. Which was total bullshit because you got to see much more in Desperado. And then more in Frida if you don't mind the unibrow.

Posted by: wooga at May 03, 2017 05:54 PM (k/szL)

247 When Kamala Harris and the congressional dems win in a 2020
landslide, movie diversity will become law.

Posted by: Under Fire at May 03, 2017 05:55 PM (fqERy)

248 243 Yep,people don't realize this.

Posted by: steevy at May 03, 2017 05:55 PM (r/0kC)

249 I looked at the previews for that and immediately decided I would avoid it. And I like Will Smith.
Posted by: Vic We Have No Party

only 1 reason to watch that movie

Posted by: Selma Hayek's Ass at May 03, 2017 05:55 PM (FZYNt)

250 My nic is deteriorating every time I post not from home.
Posted by: lindarose at May 03, 2017 05:54 PM (fagTl)
--------

Your nic is okay; your hash, not so much.

Posted by: bluebell at May 03, 2017 05:55 PM (sBOL1)

251 Wait, how does a NYT film reviewer protect her account? Wouldn't that sort of throw a kink in things?

Posted by: Moron Robbie at May 03, 2017 05:55 PM (fD1ST)

252 "Werner Klemperer was of course Col Klink, so that wasn't him."

Right. But since he's been mentioned... all of the Nazi parts in Hogan's Heroes were played by Jewish actors. Cultural appropriation much?


Posted by: The Editorial Board of National Geographic (Classic Edition) at May 03, 2017 05:55 PM (j0ch/)

253 Parallel parking is encoded on the Y chromosome.

It's science.
Posted by: Deplorable Jay Guevara
-------------

And, what about the missing Map Reading gene in the XX chromosomes??

Posted by: Mike Hammer, etc., etc. at May 03, 2017 05:56 PM (OdK9v)

254 220
IC, all done?



Posted by: bluebell at May 03, 2017 05:52 PM (sBOL1)
Yes! And thanks to multiple prayers, she actually complied with the EEG. Praise the Lord.

Posted by: IC at May 03, 2017 05:56 PM (a0IVu)

255 Joe Smith as Chin Ho

Posted by: wth at May 03, 2017 05:56 PM (HgMAr)

256 I can only take so much stupid in one day. I'm off to do something productive. No reflection on Ace... just can't take the the dumbness that is permeating the planet right now. Later...

Posted by: DeplorableJewells45 at May 03, 2017 05:56 PM (CNHr1)

257 I want to insist on being called European-American.

Since our hyphenated depictions go for continental heritage now, it's only proper, right?

Posted by: Les Kinetic at May 03, 2017 05:56 PM (U6f54)

258 245
Tell me about it.

Posted by: Under Fire at May 03, 2017 05:56 PM (fqERy)

259 only 1 reason to watch that movie

Posted by: Selma Hayek's Ass


Oooooh, someone's going to be butt-hurt.

Posted by: pep at May 03, 2017 05:56 PM (LAe3v)

260 re 192: Peter Lorre played Mr Moto

Posted by: mallfly suPreme at May 03, 2017 05:56 PM (b7fwp)

261 And, what about the missing Map Reading gene in the XX chromosomes??
Posted by: Mike Hammer, etc., etc. at May 03, 2017 05:56 PM (OdK9v)



Same thing. The Y chromosome is the shiznit!

Posted by: Deplorable Jay Guevara at May 03, 2017 05:56 PM (SRKgf)

262 And, what about the missing Map Reading gene in the XX chromosomes??
Posted by: Mike Hammer, etc., etc. at May 03, 2017 05:56 PM (OdK9v)
------

Hey, I can read maps and park just fine, thankyouverymuch!

But let's have a little chat about the "Hell if I'm going to ask for directions" gene encoded on the Y chromosome.

Posted by: bluebell at May 03, 2017 05:57 PM (sBOL1)

263 240 209 I make racists jokes about Asian women drivers all the time, but they can't really go all SJW on me because I am an Asian woman who drives decently enough but cannot park to save her life.
Posted by: IC at May 03, 2017 05:50 PM (a0IVu)


So that third of Koreans named "Park" are just bullshitting us? At least the "Kims" and the "Lees" are honest.
Posted by: Deplorable Jay Guevara at May 03, 2017 05:54 PM (SRKgf)

I only make fun of old men in hats and how slowly they drive. But I probably shouldn't because I don't wear a hat.

Posted by: Northernlurker, Phillips screwdriver of the gods at May 03, 2017 05:57 PM (hJrjt)

264 Yes! And thanks to multiple prayers, she actually complied with the EEG. Praise the Lord.
Posted by: IC at May 03, 2017 05:56 PM (a0IVu)
--------

Good to hear. Hoping for more good news after they read it.

Posted by: bluebell at May 03, 2017 05:58 PM (sBOL1)

265 I cannot parallel park - not for the lack of trying or practicing mind you. I've come to the conclusion I am just deficient in that ability. But hey, I freely admit it and at least I can laugh at my pitiful attempts.

Posted by: IC at May 03, 2017 05:58 PM (a0IVu)

266 Wait, how does a NYT film reviewer protect her account? Wouldn't that sort of throw a kink in things?

Posted by: Moron Robbie
-----
Her next move will be to say she was joking.

But if she says she was joking, it then looks like she was making a racist joke.

What a fucking idiot affirmative action hire.

Posted by: Dang at May 03, 2017 05:58 PM (8b+oT)

267 Well need to feed the cats, feed myself, and get back to projects.

Posted by: Anna Puma at May 03, 2017 05:58 PM (QF8oJ)

268 245 My nic is deteriorating every time I post not from home.
Posted by: lindarose at May 03, 2017 05:54 PM (fagTl)

That's hilarious.

Posted by: CaliGirl at May 03, 2017 05:58 PM (Ri/rl)

269 Northernlurker, Phillips screwdriver of the gods

Me likey.

Posted by: pep at May 03, 2017 05:58 PM (LAe3v)

270 Fred as Kono

Posted by: wth at May 03, 2017 05:59 PM (HgMAr)

271 But let's have a little chat about the "Hell if I'm going to ask for directions" gene encoded on the Y chromosome.

Posted by: bluebell
-------------

It is the natural nature of men to protect the fairer sex from strangers.

Posted by: Mike Hammer, etc., etc. at May 03, 2017 05:59 PM (OdK9v)

272 Why is Doctor Who's companion now always a black woman?

Posted by: steevy at May 03, 2017 05:50 PM (r/0kC)


With a masculine name. And an obsession with how racisty racist everyone in history was.

In the last episode, the villain is a rich, racist, upper class privileged oppressor who has unearned money and literally turns poor people into fuel (which adds "carbon" to the atmosphere). Of the four poor and oppressed kids, only one was a White male. The villain is killed and his money redistributed to the oppressed children who are lead by a smart girl of color, of course.

Shouldn't come to a surprise as the BBC has openly declared they will go out of their way not to hire a straight White cis-gendered male, and are celebrating "diversity" for the sake of diversity.

The BBC was at least tolerable when they spent all their time diddling kids in private and kept it private.

Posted by: Time and Relative Hats in Space at May 03, 2017 05:59 PM (rUIbB)

273 Apparently the Le Pen / Macron debate is just done and they called each other names.
Waiting for a translated summary.

Posted by: @votermom @vm at May 03, 2017 05:59 PM (hMwEB)

274 And, what about the missing Map Reading gene in the XX chromosomes??
Posted by: Mike Hammer, etc., etc. at May 03, 2017 05:56 PM (OdK9v)



Once while I was driving my wife was reading a map and told me to turn right to go to a place that was west of us.

No, I replied, that's wrong. She objected that that's what the map said.

"No, sweetheart. We're driving north, because the sun is at our backs, we're in the Northern Hemisphere, and the Pacific Ocean is visible on our left. So unless some prankster moved the sun AND the Pacific Ocean, west is left."

Posted by: Deplorable Jay Guevara at May 03, 2017 05:59 PM (SRKgf)

275 Dude... Can anyone imagine anything more hilariously racist than doing a remake of Orient Express with all Asian actors? It sounds like something Dave Chapelle would do....

Posted by: Waraiotoko at May 03, 2017 05:59 PM (ADbLd)

276 Soon Hollywood will be casting former presidents as black because, well, that is the way it should have been.

Yeah. Soon.

Posted by: Zombie Alexander Hamilton at May 03, 2017 06:00 PM (qJhUV)

277 It is the natural nature of men to protect the fairer sex from strangers.

Also, if you ask for directions, it's a pretty good indicator that you're gay.

Posted by: pep at May 03, 2017 06:00 PM (LAe3v)

278 But let's have a little chat about the "Hell if I'm going to ask for directions" gene encoded on the Y chromosome.

Posted by: bluebell


Testosterone is a helluva drug.

Posted by: Rick James at May 03, 2017 06:00 PM (HTdUD)

279 265 I cannot parallel park - not for the lack of trying or practicing mind you. I've come to the conclusion I am just deficient in that ability. But hey, I freely admit it and at least I can laugh at my pitiful attempts.
Posted by: IC at May 03, 2017 05:58 PM (a0IVu)

I can't either. I'm not ashamed.

Posted by: CaliGirl at May 03, 2017 06:00 PM (Ri/rl)

280 265 I cannot parallel park - not for the lack of trying or practicing mind you. I've come to the conclusion I am just deficient in that ability. But hey, I freely admit it and at least I can laugh at my pitiful attempts.
Posted by: IC at May 03, 2017 05:58 PM (a0IVu)

+++

I can parallel park. I can and do get lost, though.

Posted by: washrivergal at May 03, 2017 06:00 PM (/xKV7)

281 The bug/spider killing encoding offsets the hell if I am asking directions encoding.

Posted by: Mr Aspirin Factory at May 03, 2017 06:00 PM (89T5c)

282 It used to be that the young had some humility... they understood they didn't know everything...

Now, we are lectured about History, by those who know no history...

By Experts who are anything but...

By Pundits, whose only real qualification is looking good in a skirt...

And by College students, who instead of being in College to learn, are hell bent to TEACH their elders things which are patently untrue...

I tire of the Hubris of the Young, they need to be bitch slapped down, with alacrity....

Posted by: Don Q. at May 03, 2017 06:01 PM (NgKpN)

283 But let's have a little chat about the "Hell if I'm going to ask for directions" gene encoded on the Y chromosome.

Posted by: bluebell -------------



"But ... we're making good time!"

Posted by: Deplorable Jay Guevara at May 03, 2017 06:01 PM (SRKgf)

284 Has anyone told this idiot that "orient" means East? To orient yourself literally means to face East. It is derived from a word meaning "rise" (as in the sun rises in the East). Orient with a capital letter means that place B is East of place A. The Orient Express, which originated in Paris, means "express train going East from Paris"

Posted by: Sisqui at May 03, 2017 06:01 PM (ienGK)

285 29 I believe Orient derives from the Latin word for East. As in East Europe.
Posted by: Jack Sock at May 03, 2017 05:28 PM (V+jJS)

Derived from the Latin "oriens", the word for east

Posted by: kbdabear at May 03, 2017 06:01 PM (AOrEZ)

286 265 I cannot parallel park - not for the lack of trying or practicing mind you. I've come to the conclusion I am just deficient in that ability. But hey, I freely admit it and at least I can laugh at my pitiful attempts.
Posted by: IC



Move to Texas. We have so much land we don't have to parallel park. I haven't parallel parked once in 20 years.

Posted by: rickb223 at May 03, 2017 06:01 PM (o+pgY)

287 Come to think of it, there wasn't a single club sandwich in "Fight Club" and do NOT get me started on "Ten Little Indians"!

Posted by: Publius Redux at May 03, 2017 06:01 PM (hWa/j)

288 So,does a guy who gets a sex change now ask for directions and have trouble parallel parking?

Posted by: steevy at May 03, 2017 06:02 PM (r/0kC)

289 I liked Wild, Wild West. Stupid, yes. Ridiculous, yes. Will Smith - like him in anything. Kevin Branagh (spelling? Too lazy to look it up.) scenery chewed, yes.

Posted by: Rosasharn at May 03, 2017 06:02 PM (PzBTm)

290 I can parallel park like a boss.

Posted by: bluebell at May 03, 2017 06:02 PM (sBOL1)

291
Wild Wild West has Salma Hayek, but they used a butt double for the brief glimpse you see of her rear

Do they run help wanted ads for butt double?

Posted by: Bertram Cabot, Jr. at May 03, 2017 06:02 PM (IqV8l)

292
Alec Guinness as Prince Faisal in Lawrence of Arabia.

And of course, the fact that the real TE Lawrence wasn't from Arabia.

But Anthony Quinn as Auda abu Tayi is totes okay because Quinn was Mexican. Little Brown Brothers playing other types of Little Brown Brothers on-screen is permissible.

Posted by: IllTemperedCur at May 03, 2017 06:02 PM (quw2O)

293 278 But let's have a little chat about the "Hell if I'm going to ask for directions" gene encoded on the Y chromosome.

Posted by: bluebell

Testosterone is a helluva drug.

Posted by: Rick James at May 03, 2017 06:00 PM (HTdUD)

The first time I went to my future wife's house, which was on an acreage in the country, I was forced to ask directions after driving around the countryside for a while. I felt like I had violated the rules of my man card.

Posted by: Northernlurker, Phillips screwdriver of the gods at May 03, 2017 06:02 PM (hJrjt)

294 Also, if you ask for directions, it's a pretty good indicator that you're gay.
Posted by: pep at May 03, 2017 06:00 PM (LAe3v)



Yep. You're definitely on the turn. It's like being able to dance, being fashion conscious, or loving show tunes.

Posted by: Deplorable Jay Guevara at May 03, 2017 06:02 PM (SRKgf)

295 Derived from the Latin "oriens", the word for east
Posted by: kbdabear at May 03, 2017 06:01 PM (AOrEZ)

That's Latin, darlin'. Evidently kbdabear is an educated man. Now I REALLY hate him!

Posted by: Doc Holliday at May 03, 2017 06:02 PM (AOrEZ)

296 I can parallel park. I can and do get lost, though.

Posted by: washrivergal


Me too. What does that tell us?

Posted by: pep at May 03, 2017 06:02 PM (LAe3v)

297 Wait, what ?

You mean #Woke isn't a synonym for stupid ?

Huh.

Dayum.

Posted by: sock_rat_eez, they are gaslighting us 24/7 at May 03, 2017 06:02 PM (KGH7Z)

298 Don't tell her about The China Syndrome.

Posted by: gewa76 at May 03, 2017 06:03 PM (f4GSC)

299 I'm actually a good driver, I can back into a space, I know where my front end is, etc. But no go on the parallel and I do get turned around easily.

Posted by: lindarose at May 03, 2017 06:03 PM (fagTl)

300 274 And, what about the missing Map Reading gene in the XX chromosomes??
Posted by: Mike Hammer, etc., etc. at May 03, 2017 05:56 PM (OdK9v)


Once while I was driving my wife was reading a map and told me to turn right to go to a place that was west of us.

No, I replied, that's wrong. She objected that that's what the map said.

"No, sweetheart. We're driving north, because the sun is at our backs, we're in the Northern Hemisphere, and the Pacific Ocean is visible on our left. So unless some prankster moved the sun AND the Pacific Ocean, west is left."
Posted by: Deplorable Jay Guevara at May 03, 2017 05:59 PM (SRKgf)

I can read a map. I also describe locations as the north west corner etc. I think I learned this from living on a ranch.

Posted by: CaliGirl at May 03, 2017 06:03 PM (Ri/rl)

301 I saw an old man in an RV towing a Jeep that was pulling a boat.

Imagine backing that combination.

Posted by: Moron Robbie at May 03, 2017 06:03 PM (fD1ST)

302 Do they run help wanted ads for butt double?
Posted by: Bertram Cabot, Jr. at May 03, 2017 06:02 PM (IqV8l)



Imagine the auditions. If that's the right word.

Posted by: Deplorable Jay Guevara at May 03, 2017 06:03 PM (SRKgf)

303 The China Syndrome was one of the most harmful pieces of propaganda ever.

Posted by: steevy at May 03, 2017 06:04 PM (r/0kC)

304 279, I can't either. I'm not ashamed.

Posted by: CaliGirl at May 03, 2017 06:00 PM (Ri/rl)
CaliGirl - are you in the SB area? I had to parallel park in Goleta once, took me at least 15 minutes before I succeeded. I was sweating and cursing..lol

Posted by: IC at May 03, 2017 06:04 PM (a0IVu)

305 >>Move to Texas. We have so much land we don't have to parallel park. I haven't parallel parked once in 20 years.

Posted by: rickb223

Hey, I live there and I parallel parked a SUV just last Friday night.

Posted by: Aviator at May 03, 2017 06:04 PM (/Nite)

306 278 But let's have a little chat about the "Hell if I'm going to ask for directions" gene encoded on the Y chromosome.

Posted by: bluebell

Testosterone is a helluva drug.

Posted by: Rick James at May 03, 2017 06:00 PM (HTdUD)

Manly essence....

Posted by: Gen. Jack D. Ripper at May 03, 2017 06:04 PM (NgKpN)

307 "do NOT get me started on "Ten Little Indians"!"

Hope no one tells Rebecca what the original British title for Christie's "And Then There Were None" was.

Posted by: The Editorial Board of National Geographic (Classic Edition) at May 03, 2017 06:04 PM (j0ch/)

308 209 I make racists jokes about Asian women drivers all the time, but they can't really go all SJW on me because I am an Asian woman who drives decently enough but cannot park to save her life.
Posted by: IC at May 03, 2017 05:50 PM (a0IVu)

==

*hi-5!*

Posted by: @votermom @vm at May 03, 2017 06:05 PM (hMwEB)

309 302
Do they run help wanted ads for butt double?

Posted by: Bertram Cabot, Jr. at May 03, 2017 06:02 PM (IqV8l)



Imagine the auditions. If that's the right word.


What's my motivation?

Posted by: Butt double at May 03, 2017 06:05 PM (LAe3v)

310 "No, sweetheart. We're driving north, because the sun is at our backs, we're in the Northern Hemisphere, and the Pacific Ocean is visible on our left. So unless some prankster moved the sun AND the Pacific Ocean, west is left."
Posted by: Deplorable Jay Guevara at May 03, 2017 05:59 PM (SRKgf)


----------------

You patriarchal pig!

Posted by: Soona at May 03, 2017 06:05 PM (sGd9N)

311
Imagine the auditions. If that's the right word.

What's my motivation?
Posted by: Butt double

Don't be an ass

Posted by: Rick in SK at May 03, 2017 06:05 PM (FZYNt)

312 I tire of the Hubris of the Young, they need to be bitch slapped down, with alacrity....
Posted by: Don Q. at May 03, 2017 06:01 PM (NgKpN)


They need to be decimated. No matter whose they are.

Posted by: Deplorable Flyover 98ZJUSMC at May 03, 2017 06:05 PM (EjfPg)

313 I can read a map. I also describe locations as the north west corner etc. I think I learned this from living on a ranch.
Posted by: CaliGirl at May 03, 2017 06:03 PM (Ri/rl)



Interestingly, I've noticed that men tend to give directions in terms of cardinal directions (NSEW), whereas women tend to give them in terms of relative directions (left, right).

Posted by: Deplorable Jay Guevara at May 03, 2017 06:05 PM (SRKgf)

314 10 That was some top notch mansplaining he gave her.

Posted by: steevy at May 03, 2017 06:05 PM (r/0kC)

315 Umm 310

Posted by: steevy at May 03, 2017 06:06 PM (r/0kC)

316 Yes Orient derived from Oriens meaning east - the opposite is Occident meaning West.

Posted by: Publius Redux at May 03, 2017 06:06 PM (hWa/j)

317 296 I can parallel park. I can and do get lost, though.

Posted by: washrivergal

Me too. What does that tell us?
Posted by: pep at May 03, 2017 06:02 PM (LAe3v)

+++

I don't know. I'd rather not get lost than be able to parallel park. Every time I make a judgment call deciding to go right or left, when I don't know, I am wrong about 95% of the time.

Posted by: washrivergal at May 03, 2017 06:06 PM (/xKV7)

318 "because Quinn was Mexican. "

Half Irish

Posted by: Ignoramus at May 03, 2017 06:06 PM (SIY7D)

319 Posted by: CaliGirl at May 03, 2017 06:00 PM (Ri/rl)
CaliGirl - are you in the SB area? I had to parallel park in Goleta once, took me at least 15 minutes before I succeeded. I was sweating and cursing..lol
Posted by: IC at May 03, 2017 06:04 PM (a0IVu)

I'm about 40 minutes north. I park in the parking structures or walk.

Posted by: CaliGirl at May 03, 2017 06:06 PM (Ri/rl)

320 Imagine the auditions. If that's the right word.

What's my motivation?
Posted by: Butt double

Don't be an ass
Posted by: Rick in SK at May 03, 2017 06:05 PM (FZYNt)



IRS form 1040

Occupation: Butt double

Posted by: Deplorable Jay Guevara at May 03, 2017 06:06 PM (SRKgf)

321 SUPPLIES!!!

Posted by: Wi Tu Lo at May 03, 2017 06:07 PM (f4GSC)

322 Hey, Asian women aren't supposed to be conservative or something.....//

Posted by: lindarose at May 03, 2017 06:07 PM (fagTl)

323
"do NOT get me started on "Ten Little Indians"!"

Hope no one tells Rebecca what the original British title for Christie's "And Then There Were None" was.
Posted by: The Editorial Board of National Geographic (Classic Edition)


Or the dog on The Dam Busters.

Posted by: Bertram Cabot, Jr. at May 03, 2017 06:07 PM (IqV8l)

324 306 278 But let's have a little chat about the "Hell if I'm going to ask for directions" gene encoded on the Y chromosome.

Posted by: bluebell

Testosterone is a helluva drug.

Posted by: Rick James at May 03, 2017 06:00 PM (HTdUD)

Manly essence....
Posted by: Gen. Jack D. Ripper at May 03, 2017 06:04 PM (NgKpN)

According to the book What Doesn't Kill You..some people are, in fact, genetically coded to know where they're going. South Pacific islanders, for instance, could find their way back home over great distances with no landmarks at all.
GPS in cars and phones have worked to seriously affect that ability.
FWIW

Posted by: Northernlurker, Phillips screwdriver of the gods at May 03, 2017 06:07 PM (hJrjt)

325 Your nic is okay; your hash, not so much.



And her shits all retarded

Posted by: Mr Favor at May 03, 2017 06:07 PM (nFwvY)

326 That Kardashian woman is a double butt.

Posted by: Bertram Cabot, Jr. at May 03, 2017 06:08 PM (IqV8l)

327 I auditioned, but they said I was too short.

Posted by: Sum Ting Wong at May 03, 2017 06:08 PM (Tyii7)

328 309 Nat Geo

Amen brother!

Posted by: Publius Redux at May 03, 2017 06:08 PM (hWa/j)

329 Educated beyond their intelligence, as Miss Mega likes to say.

Posted by: Mega at May 03, 2017 06:08 PM (wzHH1)

330 Battlefield 1 is a bit ridiculous in attempting to portray half the allied forces in WWI as some kind of non-white. I mean, I get it, but come on man. Don't be farcical about it. It just demolished the point they were ostensibly trying to make.

Posted by: Waraiotoko at May 03, 2017 06:08 PM (ADbLd)

331 A casting call fora Kim Kardashan butt double!

Just the punchline

Posted by: steevy at May 03, 2017 06:09 PM (r/0kC)

332 322
Hey, Asian women aren't supposed to be conservative or something.....//

Posted by: lindarose at May 03, 2017 06:07 PM (fagTl)
Yeah. I get pretty horrified looks when folks find out I am conservative ...but, but you are an Asian, an immigrant, a woman living in Cali??????

Posted by: IC at May 03, 2017 06:09 PM (a0IVu)

333 I don't know. I'd rather not get lost than be able to parallel park. Every time I make a judgment call deciding to go right or left, when I don't know, I am wrong about 95% of the time.
Posted by: washrivergal at May 03, 2017 06:06 PM (/xKV7)


I tend to navigate by sense of direction. The only time I get hosed is when I choose a road that starts out in the direction I want to go, but then bends in another direction, particularly if I can't then turn off in the desired direction. Driving in Boston down a curving street with 15 streets being one-way the wrong way was a nightmare.

Posted by: Deplorable Jay Guevara at May 03, 2017 06:09 PM (SRKgf)

334
323
"do NOT get me started on "Ten Little Indians"!"

Hope no one tells Rebecca what the original British title for Christie's "And Then There Were None" was.
Posted by: The Editorial Board of National Geographic (Classic Edition)

Or the dog on The Dam Busters.

Posted by: Bertram Cabot, Jr. at May 03, 2017 06:07 PM (IqV8l)





Or the "eeny-meeny-miney-mo" rhyme in Kind Hearts and Coronets.

Posted by: IllTemperedCur at May 03, 2017 06:09 PM (quw2O)

335
I can read a map, and I understand the latest technology. Especially when the latest technology tells me at 3 a.m. on a foggy night, 'Turn right here' and all I see are deep draft boats in a canal for the next 100 feet.

Posted by: E Depluribus Unum at May 03, 2017 06:09 PM (HTdUD)

336 GPS in cars and phones have worked to seriously affect that ability.



Because GPS programs accuracy blows goats ass. How many times does gps tell you to turn left into a cornfield? I can name one. Repeatedly.

Posted by: rickb223 at May 03, 2017 06:09 PM (o+pgY)

337 330 And the woman who is in the Arabian campaign...

Posted by: steevy at May 03, 2017 06:09 PM (r/0kC)

338 South Pacific islanders, for instance, could find their way back home over great distances with no landmarks at all.
---------

They used their knowledge of constellations. I saw a presentation about this in a planetarium a few years back. It was really interesting.

Posted by: bluebell at May 03, 2017 06:10 PM (sBOL1)

339 I'm still confused about who in the Trump Administration is Russian.

Posted by: Fritz at May 03, 2017 06:10 PM (TNQMS)

340 Yeah. I get pretty horrified looks when folks find out I am conservative ...but, but you are an Asian, an immigrant, a woman living in Cali??????
Posted by: IC at May 03, 2017 06:09 PM (a0IVu)



I get that as an academic from California who attended Berkeley. People are astonished.

Posted by: Deplorable Jay Guevara at May 03, 2017 06:10 PM (SRKgf)

341 I'm actually fascinated that so many actors can play different ethnicities. There's a moral in this.

Jack Nicholson didn't think he could play Italian Michael Corleone, not knowing at the time that his "sister" was actually his mother and that he was actually half Italian.

Posted by: Ignoramus at May 03, 2017 06:10 PM (SIY7D)

342 "do NOT get me started on "Ten Little Indians"!"

Hope no one tells Rebecca what the original British title for Christie's "And Then There Were None" was.
Posted by: The Editorial Board of National Geographic (Classic Edition)

Or the dog on The Dam Busters.
Posted by: Bertram Cabot, Jr. at May 03, 2017 06:07 PM (IqV8l)


That was before racism was bad.

Posted by: David Brent at May 03, 2017 06:10 PM (f4GSC)

343 re 291: are you serious? film industry is full of would be actresses who'd jump at the chance to play some famous actress's boobs or butt. Years ago, some woman who did the nude double bits was on Donahue or Sally Raphael or some show like that and she mentioned after doing a nude double in some movie, she actually got hired to play a bit part and say a few lines.

you can only wonder how many women (and maybe guys) got into porn thinking they'd be able to cross over to regular acting. I only know of one who made it.

Posted by: mallfly suPreme at May 03, 2017 06:11 PM (b7fwp)

344 I'm actually fascinated that so many actors can play different ethnicities. There's a moral in this.



Italians & injuns.

Posted by: rickb223 at May 03, 2017 06:11 PM (o+pgY)

345 I don't imagine children in Sunday School sing that song about Jesus loving the little children..red and yellow black and white, they are precious in his sight.

Posted by: Northernlurker, Phillips screwdriver of the gods at May 03, 2017 06:11 PM (hJrjt)

346
I tend to navigate by sense of direction. The only time I get hosed is when I choose a road that starts out in the direction I want to go, but then bends in another direction, particularly if I can't then turn off in the desired direction. Driving in Boston down a curving street with 15 streets being one-way the wrong way was a nightmare.
Posted by: Deplorable Jay Guevara at May 03, 2017 06:09 PM (SRKgf)

I HATE driving in Washington DC... only place I've ever been where it is West on one Highway, same time as you are going EAST on a different number highway...

But... it is very.... DC.... I guess their roads reflect the way they think...

Posted by: Don Q. at May 03, 2017 06:12 PM (NgKpN)

347 That chick who played Tyrion Lannister's lover on GoTs had been a ardcore porn actress.

Posted by: steevy at May 03, 2017 06:12 PM (r/0kC)

348 I get pretty horrified looks when folks find out I am conservative ...but, but you are an Asian, an immigrant, a woman living in Cali??????

Conservative Asian woman.

hawt

Posted by: Christopher R Taylor at May 03, 2017 06:12 PM (39g3+)

349 I too can Dead Reckon to navigate by where I think I am on a map in my head.

It mostly works. But when I get lost I can get really lost

Posted by: Ignoramus at May 03, 2017 06:12 PM (SIY7D)

350 I'm actually fascinated that so many actors can play different ethnicities. There's a moral in this.

Italians & injuns.

Posted by: rickb223 at May 03, 2017 06:11 PM (o+pgY)


*sheds tear*

Posted by: Iron Eyes Cody at May 03, 2017 06:12 PM (rUIbB)

351 Did anyone catch Spicer explaining to us how a cheap Home Depot chain link fence will secure the border? It was Fvcking pathetic.

Posted by: Under Fire at May 03, 2017 06:13 PM (fqERy)

352 Yeah. I get pretty horrified looks when folks find out I am conservative ...but, but you are an Asian, an immigrant, a woman living in Cali??????



Yeah. Those that work as hard as a one armed paper hanger to build a business are going to willingly GIVE their shit away.
On what planet?

Posted by: rickb223 at May 03, 2017 06:13 PM (o+pgY)

353 I can read a map, and I understand the latest technology. Especially when the latest technology tells me at 3 a.m. on a foggy night, 'Turn right here' and all I see are deep draft boats in a canal for the next 100 feet.
Posted by: E Depluribus Unum at May 03, 2017 06:09 PM (HTdUD)



We were driving through LA (with which I'm not desperately familiar, I'm pleased to say). Navigating freeway interchanges, the GPS told us to get off I-5 and took us to MLK Blvd. (gulp) then drove us around in a circle in the ghetto before suggesting we get back on I-5.

I came within an RCH of rolling down the window and throwing the goddamned thing. Shoulda trusted my sense of direction instead of deferring to the damned thing.

Posted by: Deplorable Jay Guevara at May 03, 2017 06:13 PM (SRKgf)

354 You would not believe how many people I have caught on this ranch because they are taking a shortcut. They drive on a dirt road and I've caught them trying to open a locked gate.

Well GPS says this is a road they tell me. I explain when you're on a dirt road and a sign says private property you're doing it wrong.

I get mean. I think they're up to no good, looking for something to steal.

Posted by: CaliGirl at May 03, 2017 06:13 PM (Ri/rl)

355 Song of the South is going to blow her mind.

Posted by: Moron Robbie at May 03, 2017 06:14 PM (fD1ST)

356 TIL Al Pacino's not really Cuban.

Posted by: FilmFatale at May 03, 2017 06:14 PM (f4GSC)

357
The last honestly named movie I watched was 'Saving Ryan's Privates'. There's a lot to be said for the honesty inherent in that genre of films.

Posted by: E Depluribus Unum at May 03, 2017 06:14 PM (HTdUD)

358 I am an Asian woman who drives decently enough but cannot park to save her life.

You sound like a bunch of my family.

Posted by: JEM at May 03, 2017 06:15 PM (TppKb)

359 Also - wtf is with "Out of Africa"? Meryl Streep, Robert Redford and Kluas Maria Brandauer!? Dude seriously? And Meryl still gets to lecture "whitey" from whatever Crappy awards show she was on last night?! I for one am outraged!!! Where are the Africans?!

Posted by: Publius Redux at May 03, 2017 06:15 PM (hWa/j)

360 *sheds tear*
Posted by: Iron Eyes Cody



Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Posted by: Wild Eagle & Crazy Cat

Posted by: rickb223 at May 03, 2017 06:15 PM (o+pgY)

361 We were driving through LA (with which I'm not desperately familiar, I'm pleased to say). Navigating freeway interchanges, the GPS told us to get off I-5 and took us to MLK Blvd. (gulp) then drove us around in a circle in the ghetto before suggesting we get back on I-5.

I came within an RCH of rolling down the window and throwing the goddamned thing. Shoulda trusted my sense of direction instead of deferring to the damned thing.
Posted by: Deplorable Jay Guevara at May 03, 2017 06:13 PM (SRKgf)

========

I have had mine tell me the same kind of thing . I was on a 15 mile straight shot down a road. And it told me to take a right then a right, then a right then a right. No reason whatsoever.

Posted by: Uber Lyft Driver at May 03, 2017 06:15 PM (v+daR)

362 There are no Koreans in Jurassic Park.

Posted by: Northernlurker, Phillips screwdriver of the gods at May 03, 2017 06:15 PM (hJrjt)

363 Why do they call it ovaltine? The jar is round, shouldn't it be roundtine? That's gold.

Posted by: scofflaw_x at May 03, 2017 06:16 PM (y9ZJX)

364 Samantha Bee - who thought a woman screaming barely intelligible rants would ever be considered funny? I sure didn't.

Everyone is trying to be the new Daily show - problem is a) we are all sick of that shtick, and b) it was never very funny to begin with. It is just lazy and dreams of being edgy. Edgy like, I dunno, my Uncle Mike screaming racists rants over the thanksgiving turkey. Ah, Mike...

It is so easy. Find a clip of someone saying something dumb, especially someone you don't like. Cut the tape to make them look even dumber. Then mock that tape in the most sophomoric way possible complete with loud sighs, smirks, and eye rolling that would fit in a silent movie. Toss in a couple of "OH REALLY!!!??" Then pat yourself on the back because, brother, you are a sweet comedy genius.

Not one episode or word of Colbert, Bee, or the rest will ever be remembered, or watched again. You can quote me on that. or quote this:

"... And there was a time in this country, a long time ago, when reading wasn't just for fags and neither was writing. People wrote books and movies, movies that had stories so you cared whose ass it was and why it was farting, and I believe that time can come again!"

Posted by: GenX at May 03, 2017 06:16 PM (UgF8H)

365 Well GPS says this is a road they tell me. I explain when you're on a dirt road and a sign says private property you're doing it wrong.

I get mean. I think they're up to no good, looking for something to steal.
Posted by: CaliGirl



I don't blame you.

Posted by: rickb223 at May 03, 2017 06:16 PM (o+pgY)

366 Where are the Africans?!
Posted by: Publius Redux at May 03, 2017 06:15 PM (hWa/j)

The original title was "Out of Africans" but there was a mistake on the final edit.

Posted by: Waraiotoko at May 03, 2017 06:16 PM (ADbLd)

367 Twitter twat's tweets are pwotected.

Posted by: Alberta Oil Peon at May 03, 2017 06:17 PM (0deF2)

368 Why do they call it ovaltine? The jar is round, shouldn't it be roundtine? That's gold.

There's no damned tin in it, either.

Posted by: Christopher R Taylor at May 03, 2017 06:17 PM (39g3+)

369 25 that film on Nat Geo channel about Einstein has young Einstein played by someone named Johnny Flynn.

Yahoo Serious wasn't available?

Posted by: Toad-O at May 03, 2017 06:17 PM (cct0t)

370
349 I too can Dead Reckon to navigate by where I think I am on a map in my head.

It mostly works. But when I get lost I can get really lost
Posted by: Ignoramus at May 03, 2017 06:12 PM (SIY7D)


----------------

And here we go again. I bet you're really not dead when you're reckoning. That would be like totally impossible.

Posted by: Soona at May 03, 2017 06:17 PM (sGd9N)

371 I came within an RCH of rolling down the window and throwing the goddamned thing. Shoulda trusted my sense of direction instead of deferring to the damned thing.

( ) Avoid bridges
( ) Avoid toll routes
(x) Avoid MS13

You forgot to select the right button.

Posted by: JEM at May 03, 2017 06:18 PM (TppKb)

372 These fucking idiots are indoctrinated instead of educated.

Their supposed Higher Learning is designed to weaponize them in the cause of Leftism, arm them with Political Correctness, and send them out to brutalize society until it is ready to be remade in the pursuit of the New Communist Society.

Actual education would get in the way of that, so, instead of learning facts, they learn reactionary RightThink and WrongThink. They're every bit as stupid as they ever were, but are told they've received the New Wisdom and they act imperiously and self-righteously in the belief that they will reform the Sinners.

Posted by: Mr. Peebles at May 03, 2017 06:18 PM (oVJmc)

373 My pet peeve from my time in the Corps: "Orientate" is not a word. As in I'm gonna orientate this map. No, you're gonna orient the friggin map. Did you registrate for the draft, numbnuts?

Posted by: Duke Lowell at May 03, 2017 06:18 PM (kTF2Z)

374 And if the cast was all Asian, it would be racist, too.

Posted by: josephistan at May 03, 2017 05:25 PM (7HtZB)

Lacist, actuarry.

Posted by: Alberta Oil Peon at May 03, 2017 06:18 PM (0deF2)

375 Did anyone catch Spicer explaining to us how a cheap Home Depot chain link fence will secure the border? It was Fvcking pathetic.
Posted by: Under Fire



It will once you run 10,000 volts thru it.

Posted by: rickb223 at May 03, 2017 06:18 PM (o+pgY)

376 366 W

I like the cut of your Jib sir!

Posted by: Publius Redux at May 03, 2017 06:18 PM (hWa/j)

377 Did anyone catch Spicer explaining to us how a cheap Home Depot chain link fence will secure the border? It was Fvcking pathetic.

In fairness, a double strand of wire will do the job of telling you the point after which you will be shot.

Posted by: Grump928(C) at May 03, 2017 06:18 PM (LTHVh)

378 Film Fatale has made tweet unavailable.

Her feed is now available only to confirmed followers.

#staycourageous

Posted by: golfman at May 03, 2017 06:18 PM (48QDY)

379 Teh Twitter is the Superconducting Supercollider of Stupid.

It's like dark matter, we're finding out it's everywhere.

Posted by: dissent555 at May 03, 2017 06:18 PM (VFhMt)

380 >>We were driving through LA (with which I'm not
desperately familiar, I'm pleased to say). Navigating freeway
interchanges, the GPS told us to get off I-5 and took us to MLK Blvd.
(gulp) then drove us around in a circle in the ghetto before suggesting
we get back on I-5.



I came within an RCH of rolling down the window and throwing the
goddamned thing. Shoulda trusted my sense of direction instead of
deferring to the damned thing.

Posted by: Deplorable Jay Guevara

How you like that, round eye?

Posted by: Garmin GPS Engineer at May 03, 2017 06:18 PM (/Nite)

381 The X-Men didn't have any trannies.

Posted by: Northernlurker, Phillips screwdriver of the gods at May 03, 2017 05:26 PM (hJrjt)

Haz sad.

Posted by: Super T-10 at May 03, 2017 06:19 PM (0deF2)

382 It wasn't too tacky?

Posted by: Waraiotoko at May 03, 2017 06:20 PM (ADbLd)

383 Well OF COURSE this genius is a writer for the Samantha Bee program.

Posted by: The Cockroach at May 03, 2017 06:20 PM (VFhMt)

384 Driving in the LA area is very confusing - I rely extensively on my GPS and when that fails, driving around in circles until I see the signs for the highways.

Posted by: IC at May 03, 2017 06:20 PM (a0IVu)

385 Film Fatale has made tweet unavailable.

Her feed is now available only to confirmed followers.

#staycourageous
Posted by: golfman



#freespeech!

Posted by: rickb223 at May 03, 2017 06:20 PM (o+pgY)

386 This is one of the funniest things I've seen in a while. The Fox panel is talking about Colbert's cock holster comment, and they go round the table, and they ask everyone's opinion, and over on the left, the last panelist is BROADWAY JOE NAMATH! Maybe he's on there all the time, I dunno, it seemed like such a non-seqitor, like out of the Simpsons or something, here on the table we have JOE WILLY NAMATH! on cock holstering!
https://tinyurl.com/mjmlvue

Posted by: docweasel at May 03, 2017 06:20 PM (jiT66)

387 349 I too can Dead Reckon to navigate by where I think I am on a map in my head.

It mostly works. But when I get lost I can get really lost
Posted by: Ignoramus at May 03, 2017 06:12 PM (SIY7D)



I got REALLY lost one night in a strange city when I didn't have a map, but was driving to the intersection of A and B, where I'd been earlier in the day.

So I drive down A and then come to B ... but it looks NOTHING like the intersection I'd seen earlier. OK, things look different at night than during the day, but this was crazy.

Long story short: A curved and intersected B TWICE.

Took a while to figure that out. I thought I was losing my mind.

Posted by: Deplorable Jay Guevara at May 03, 2017 06:21 PM (SRKgf)

388 Protected tweets = I don't grok social media.

Posted by: Christopher R Taylor at May 03, 2017 06:22 PM (39g3+)

389 They're every bit as stupid as they ever were, but are told they've received the New Wisdom and they act imperiously and self-righteously in the belief that they will reform the Sinners.

Self-esteem Culture culminates.

Posted by: Mr. Peebles at May 03, 2017 06:22 PM (oVJmc)

390 Her feed is now available only to confirmed followers.

#staycourageous
Posted by: golfman

#freespeech!
Posted by: rickb223


#Resistance
*hides under bed*

Posted by: weft cut-loop at May 03, 2017 06:22 PM (GgzGa)

391 One time I went on leave and drove from Ft Hood to Canton OH nonstop with no map, when I got there I got off the interstate at what looked like a main street. I drove for a few minutes and then pulled over at a store with a phone booth to call for directions, when I told them where I was they told me to look across the street and there was a sign on a house that said Welcome Tinfoil. I always gave the map reading classes, but they were mostly for the girls.

Posted by: Tinfoilbaby at May 03, 2017 06:22 PM (6Ll1u)

392 I also would like to point out to the Horde that Midway does not have a single person from Chicago in it!! Shame sir, shame!

Posted by: Publius Redux at May 03, 2017 06:23 PM (e6/hI)

393 AND THE SAND???

Posted by: Rebecca Theodore at May 03, 2017 05:32 PM (qJhUV)

High, hanging curveball alert.

Posted by: Alberta Oil Peon at May 03, 2017 06:23 PM (0deF2)

394 Posted by: Deplorable Jay Guevara at May 03, 2017 06:21 PM (SRKgf)

Is it in Albequeerque where Route 66 crosses Route 66?

Posted by: Don Q. at May 03, 2017 06:23 PM (NgKpN)

395 384 Driving in the LA area is very confusing - I rely extensively on my GPS and when that fails, driving around in circles until I see the signs for the highways.
Posted by: IC at May 03, 2017 06:20 PM (a0IVu)



I'm glad you think so too. The highway system there is like an explosion in the spaghetti factory, and recovering from a mistake can take quite a while. And if you're really unlucky, can entail a delightful tour of Compton or Inglewood to boot.

Posted by: Deplorable Jay Guevara at May 03, 2017 06:23 PM (SRKgf)

396 Is it in Albequeerque where Route 66 crosses Route 66?
Posted by: Don Q. at May 03, 2017 06:23 PM (NgKpN)



Nope. Actually, it was in Hawaii.

Posted by: Deplorable Jay Guevara at May 03, 2017 06:23 PM (SRKgf)

397 My pet peeve from my time in the Corps: "Orientate"
is not a word. As in I'm gonna orientate this map. No, you're gonna
orient the friggin map. Did you registrate for the draft, numbnuts?

Posted by: Duke Lowell at May 03, 2017 06:18 PM (kTF2Z)



Could be worse. I'm half Asian and adopted. My Appalachian-raised adoptive mother tells people I'm "Oralentil".

Posted by: Country Singer at May 03, 2017 06:23 PM (GUBah)

398 392 I also would like to point out to the Horde that Midway does not have a single person from Chicago in it!! Shame sir, shame!
Posted by: Publius Redux at May 03, 2017 06:23 PM (e6/hI)



Yeah. And why did they name the island after the airport?

Posted by: Deplorable Jay Guevara at May 03, 2017 06:24 PM (SRKgf)

399 The X-Men didn't have any trannies.


Shouldn't it be "X-Myn?"

Posted by: Mr. Peebles at May 03, 2017 06:26 PM (oVJmc)

400 395, I'm glad you think so too. The highway system there
is like an explosion in the spaghetti factory, and recovering from a
mistake can take quite a while. And if you're really unlucky, can entail
a delightful tour of Compton or Inglewood to boot.

Posted by: Deplorable Jay Guevara at May 03, 2017 06:23 PM (SRKgf

I once missed the turn off onto the 405-N from Wilshire, and it took me almost 30 minutes to find some place to u-turn and try again.

Posted by: IC at May 03, 2017 06:26 PM (a0IVu)

401 Her feed is now available only to confirmed followers.

There is no laughing in the Echo Chamber!

Posted by: Mr. Peebles at May 03, 2017 06:26 PM (oVJmc)

402 I also note that not a single person farts in "Gone with the Wind"!! Outrage!!

Posted by: Publius Redux at May 03, 2017 06:27 PM (hWa/j)

403 Nood.

Posted by: Deplorable Jay Guevara at May 03, 2017 06:27 PM (SRKgf)

404 I may be an ignorant racist redneck but I've actually traveled on a version of the Orient Express, overnight from Paris to Venice on a beautiful old restored train. Back in the 80s it was.

No one got murdered, but I felt like the ugly American when the chewing gum I spit out the window got stuck to the high shine polished exterior of the sleeper car. Oops.

Posted by: stace, too much winning at May 03, 2017 06:27 PM (JfNy2)

405 My pet peeve from my time in the Corps: "Orientate" is not a word.

Fuckin-A.

Posted by: Mr. Peebles at May 03, 2017 06:27 PM (oVJmc)

406 >>Long story short: A curved and intersected B TWICE.

That ain't right.

Do all GPSs hate San Antonio or is it just me and at least 2 different ones that went bat-shit crazy there?

I have a very good sense of direction. If you tell me the 8 turns to get to the place off the main street, I have no trouble reversing them to get home.

Friend: okay, let's look at these directions because we'll need to do the reverse and...

Me, puzzled because I've already taken the first 2 turns: we just do the opposite of what we did coming here...

I don't quite understand when people say "over in Shreveport" and point north instead of east. It really doesn't move...

Posted by: Mama AJ at May 03, 2017 06:27 PM (wwL6Q)

407 I also would like to point out to the Horde that Midway does not have a single person from Chicago in it!! Shame sir, shame!
Posted by: Publius Redux at May 03, 2017 06:23 PM (e6/hI)

=======

Pretty sure they are going to take care of that by renaming it. Barack H. Obama International airport.

Posted by: Uber Lyft Driver at May 03, 2017 06:28 PM (v+daR)

408 Just saw a group pic of the Fox News Specialists.
That Harf sure is a Heifer.
Not that I wouldn't milk those udders.

Posted by: gewa76 at May 03, 2017 06:28 PM (f4GSC)

409 397 My pet peeve from my time in the Corps: "Orientate"
is not a word. As in I'm gonna orientate this map. No, you're gonna
orient the friggin map. Did you registrate for the draft, numbnuts?

Posted by: Duke Lowell at May 03, 2017 06:18 PM (kTF2Z)

Could be worse. I'm half Asian and adopted. My Appalachian-raised adoptive mother tells people I'm "Oralentil".
Posted by: Country Singer at May 03, 2017 06:23 PM (GUBah)

have a friend who is the daughter of half Mexican and half Chinese mother and full Mexican father; she refers to herself as 'Ornamental'

Posted by: the Butcher at May 03, 2017 06:30 PM (AGJqR)

410
Could be worse. I'm half Asian and adopted. My Appalachian-raised adoptive mother tells people I'm "Oralentil".
Posted by: Country Singer at May 03, 2017 06:23 PM (GUBah)

--------------

Heh. Had a friend who was adopted by a couple with an Italian surname. His joke was that if you mix English with Italian you get Korean.

Posted by: Duke Lowell at May 03, 2017 06:30 PM (kTF2Z)

411 But Anthony Quinn as Auda abu Tayi is totes okay because Quinn was Mexican. Little Brown Brothers playing other types of Little Brown Brothers on-screen is permissible.

Posted by: IllTemperedCur at May 03, 2017 06:02 PM (quw2O)

Well arabs are actually caucasian, anyway. They even have gingers. And not just fake ones like mohammed, who cheated with henna.

Posted by: Alberta Oil Peon at May 03, 2017 06:44 PM (0deF2)

412 We were driving through LA (with which I'm not desperately familiar, I'm pleased to say). Navigating freeway interchanges, the GPS told us to get off I-5 and took us to MLK Blvd. (gulp) then drove us around in a circle in the ghetto before suggesting we get back on I-5.

I came within an RCH of rolling down the window and throwing the goddamned thing. Shoulda trusted my sense of direction instead of deferring to the damned thing.

Posted by: Deplorable Jay Guevara at May 03, 2017 06:13 PM (SRKgf)

Heh. Brings back a memory. Was at the Gran National Roadster Show in Pomona one year. Loaded up the rentacar with 3 friends (all Americans) and drove to West L.A. with the intent of touring the Peterson Car Museum. It was closed. Alright, then, let's go back to Pomona. Whatever freeway we had to take was choked solid, so I bailed onto a surface street at the last possible opportunity. Navigator: "You can't do that!" "Watch me."

So I took a bunch a surface street through some of the seediest parts of downtown L.A., always moving north and east. Finally spotted a sign for I-10 eastbound, got on the ramp, and traffic was zipping right along.

Because I have a pretty good built-in sense of direction.

Posted by: Alberta Oil Peon at May 03, 2017 06:55 PM (0deF2)

413 Minor Agatha Christy trivia - the reason she wrote a plot about the Orient Express getting stuck in the snow and out of contact for 5 days is that, in 1929, she booked a ride on the Orient Express and the train, with her on it, got stuck in heavy snow in the Alps for 5 days.

Posted by: Tom Servo at May 03, 2017 07:05 PM (V2Yro)

414 It's not just her. "Art school" was the first beachhead for the postmodernism/deconstruction invasion. "Ways Of Seeing" has indoctrinated two generations of "arts" students. I was at Tisch during the late 80's and it was like The Cultural Revolution. I lasted a semester before I bailed and ran to the computer science department.

Posted by: gzulux at May 03, 2017 08:09 PM (euRPK)

415 In the U.S., the book was published as "Murder in the Calais Coach". Really. So the dummies in North America wouldn't go looking for Asians in the book. Possibly. But there are no people who coach in the book either. Crap.

Posted by: That one annoying guy at May 03, 2017 08:44 PM (yHzL8)

416 Get your facts right first. The 1934 book starts as Poirot boards the train in Aleppo, having completed a job for the French, the mandatory power in Syria between the wars. The murder occurs in the "Calais coach" after the Orient Express leaves Istanbul for the West. Poirot solves the mystery while the train is snowbound in the middle of Yugoslavia.

Posted by: Bill Befort at May 03, 2017 08:49 PM (hJFOo)

417 Oh hell yeah!

Posted by: KentAllard at May 03, 2017 08:58 PM (TQw9b)

418 Virginia Woolf doesn't have enough lines, Streetcars should not be named after emotions and its animal abuse to enrage a bull for a movie!

Posted by: Gene Shallnot, Woke Movie Reviewer at May 03, 2017 09:08 PM (Ndje9)

419 I was a conductor on the Pennsylvania R.R.in my younger years and I can tell you the "Scranton Comet" never went to Scranton and contained no astronomical inhabitants. I wonder if she thinks all USN aircraft carriers belong to the president's they are named for?

Posted by: MantuaBill at May 03, 2017 09:40 PM (S90LB)

420 "Chinatown" does not have one scene set in Chinatown. Not. One. Scene.

Posted by: Red_Right_Returning at May 03, 2017 09:53 PM (z07+C)

421 [strike]test[/strike]

test

Posted by: RickZ at May 04, 2017 04:56 AM (qzf/J)

422 Also, in Black Hawk Down, there's not a single Chicago hockey player anywhere in sight.

Posted by: Dave H at May 04, 2017 04:16 PM (QmKuB)

423 I can't be the only one to spot the Shih Tzu in the poster.

Posted by: William Befort at May 04, 2017 06:55 PM (hJFOo)

424
In the movie Polar Express, the ties supporting the tracks were polar bear corpses.

True cinematic fact!

Posted by: Krebs v Carnot: Epic Battle of the Cycling Stars (TM) at May 04, 2017 11:40 PM (pNxlR)

425 Oh heck just go watch Cockney's vs Zombies if you want stereotypes to complain about.
Abercrombie and fitch!

Posted by: obsidian at May 05, 2017 01:47 PM (ARK2U)

(Jump to top of page)






Processing 0.05, elapsed 0.055 seconds.
15 queries taking 0.0229 seconds, 434 records returned.
Page size 198 kb.
Powered by Minx 0.7 alpha.



MuNuvians
MeeNuvians
Polls! Polls! Polls!
Frequently Asked Questions
The (Almost) Complete Paul Anka Integrity Kick
Top Top Tens
Greatest Hitjobs

The Ace of Spades HQ Sex-for-Money Skankathon
A D&D Guide to the Democratic Candidates
Margaret Cho: Just Not Funny
More Margaret Cho Abuse
Margaret Cho: Still Not Funny
Iraqi Prisoner Claims He Was Raped... By Woman
Wonkette Announces "Morning Zoo" Format
John Kerry's "Plan" Causes Surrender of Moqtada al-Sadr's Militia
World Muslim Leaders Apologize for Nick Berg's Beheading
Michael Moore Goes on Lunchtime Manhattan Death-Spree
Milestone: Oliver Willis Posts 400th "Fake News Article" Referencing Britney Spears
Liberal Economists Rue a "New Decade of Greed"
Artificial Insouciance: Maureen Dowd's Word Processor Revolts Against Her Numbing Imbecility
Intelligence Officials Eye Blogs for Tips
They Done Found Us Out, Cletus: Intrepid Internet Detective Figures Out Our Master Plan
Shock: Josh Marshall Almost Mentions Sarin Discovery in Iraq
Leather-Clad Biker Freaks Terrorize Australian Town
When Clinton Was President, Torture Was Cool
What Wonkette Means When She Explains What Tina Brown Means
Wonkette's Stand-Up Act
Wankette HQ Gay-Rumors Du Jour
Here's What's Bugging Me: Goose and Slider
My Own Micah Wright Style Confession of Dishonesty
Outraged "Conservatives" React to the FMA
An On-Line Impression of Dennis Miller Having Sex with a Kodiak Bear
The Story the Rightwing Media Refuses to Report!
Our Lunch with David "Glengarry Glen Ross" Mamet
The House of Love: Paul Krugman
A Michael Moore Mystery (TM)
The Dowd-O-Matic!
Liberal Consistency and Other Myths
Kepler's Laws of Liberal Media Bias
John Kerry-- The Splunge! Candidate
"Divisive" Politics & "Attacks on Patriotism" (very long)
The Donkey ("The Raven" parody)
News/Chat