The Snowflake Test

A Connecticut-based marketing company has created a “snowflake” test to weed out entitled liberal Millennials.

The Silent Partner Marketing company has come up with a unique way to vet potential employees. The firm developed a survey for applicants asking a number of questions about themselves. Questions include “What does America mean to you?” and “How do you feel about guns?”

Kyle Reyes, CEO of Silent Partner Marketing appeared on Fox & Friends on Wednesdney, saying “I needed a filter to sort through all of that.”

What a h8r. Why whould he do such a thing?

Reyes said he’s looking for employees who don’t feel entitled or expect things to be handed to them. He insists, however, that emotional people are welcomed to apply—as long as they don’t need a safe space at the office.

“I want people who have a sense of community, who have a sense of heart, who aren’t afraid to wear their hearts on their sleeves.” He explained. Then added, “But who are able to make an argument and stand by it.”

The CEO said that “Someone who’s not proud to be an American” would be automatically disqualified from a job at the firm.

And it gets even better:

Following the media interest, Reyes said, many other companies have approached him, offering “significant” amounts of money to design a similar test for them.

Unfortunately, I think this is a lawsuit waiting to happen. I've on hiring and vetting committees at some of the places I've worked at. Finding good people who will fit in is dang hard. It's amazing what you can't ask in interviews and it's amazing what you can't ask the candidate's previous employers. Like, pretty much everything. All they can do is confirm dates of employment. Questions about whether the guy was a good worker, did he show up on time, did he get along with people, all of those types of questions cannot be asked. By law.

So how does the employer weed out the slackers, the surly, and the psychos?

This is why they have to do things like look for you on social media and that is why they devise snowflake tests. Pretty much all of the conventional means for assessing employee fitness have been made illegal. It's almost getting to the point where you have to make your hiring decisions by using a dartboard.

Posted by: OregonMuse at 11:30 AM

Comments

(Jump to bottom of comments)

1 Not gay. Considered it but came to the conclusion it wouldn't be as challenging as a hetero relationship.

Posted by: Preezy 44 at April 27, 2017 11:30 AM (bc2Lc)

2 >>Unfortunately, I think this is a lawsuit waiting to happen.

Yup.

Shoulda kept his mouth shut, skipped the Fox News interview...

Posted by: Lizzy at April 27, 2017 11:30 AM (NOIQH)

3 Nice post, OregonMuse. I even read it all before commenting.

Posted by: Vanceone at April 27, 2017 11:30 AM (HcgJZ)

4 Too bad this is necessary, but that's life.

Posted by: *Mikey NTH - Join the Conspiracy of the Month Club at the Outrage Outlet! Flavored Tinfoil in May! at April 27, 2017 11:30 AM (hLRSq)

5 It's a shame that this is necessary.

When the lawsuits and public media shaming come, I hope he stands his ground.

Posted by: What's a Seawolf? at April 27, 2017 11:31 AM (72PAC)

6 You can still reject job applicants because of their political views. Even in California.

Posted by: Cicero (@cicero) at April 27, 2017 11:31 AM (JZdsf)

7 The whole hiring tests and regulations is another area Donnie has to have the staff hit touts suites

Posted by: phreshone at April 27, 2017 11:31 AM (DpOmP)

8 >>It's almost getting to the point where you have to make your hiring decisions by using a dartboard.

My employer is really big on employee referrals. When we were smaller, there were a lot of spouses who worked here, too.

Posted by: Lizzy at April 27, 2017 11:31 AM (NOIQH)

9 It's almost getting to the point where you have to make your hiring decisions by using a dartboard.

--

A new test: use the candidates as the dartboard, and hire those that don't flinch.

Posted by: Vashta Nerada at April 27, 2017 11:32 AM (7ZVPa)

10 I called the Corgis again, even though OregonMuse did it himself.

Posted by: Vanceone at April 27, 2017 11:32 AM (HcgJZ)

11 It is difficult to determine if an employee will be a good fit, due to the restrictions on the interviewer. But that's what makes the workplace so exciting! That extraordinarily random mix of personalities and viewpoints that require one to become tolerant AF of any and everything coming down the pike.

Posted by: kallisto at April 27, 2017 11:33 AM (kD8Fh)

12 Yeah, I've talked informally to HR people about confirming previous employment. Apparently honesty is a bad idea in that context. Thus the tests, which are sometimes facially ridiculous. So, more and more emphasis is placed on the interview. Then the interviewers don't know which questions to ask. (Hint: "What is your greatest flaw?" is a stupid, stupid question.) Which just makes for some spectacularly bad probationary periods.

Posted by: joncelli, Longbow Afficianado and Phalangist at April 27, 2017 11:33 AM (RD7QR)

13 So how does the employer weed out the slackers, the surly, and the psychos?

-
I'm pretty sure that's racist.

Posted by: Anonosaurus Wrecks, Doctor of Thinkology at April 27, 2017 11:33 AM (Nwg0u)

14 I thought testing for employment was a big SCOTUS no-no?

Posted by: Chupacabra at April 27, 2017 11:33 AM (qFpa2)

15 Wait, What? Exactly how did your initial interview with Ace go again?

Posted by: Hopped Up On Something at April 27, 2017 11:33 AM (Oz6ib)

16
Unfortunately, I think this is a lawsuit waiting to happen.

Surprised there isn't a suit already.

Posted by: Bertram Cabot, Jr. at April 27, 2017 11:33 AM (IqV8l)

17 The key right here:

The CEO said that someone who's not proud to be an American would be automatically disqualified from a job at the firm.

My original job interview had on a lot of stuff like that but I would lay dollars to doughnuts it no longer is.

Posted by: Vic We Have No Party at April 27, 2017 11:34 AM (mpXpK)

18 And the Howdy Doody Freckled Mish Award goes to......

Posted by: Mr Aspirin Factory at April 27, 2017 11:34 AM (fAZRN)

19 So one can't ask the "wrong" questions, but all the preferred classes must still be "preferred".

I guess asking "are whites a privileged race" would be a no-no question, unless used to require the affirmative response.

Posted by: illiniwek at April 27, 2017 11:34 AM (TmCOq)

20 It's almost getting to the point where you have to make your hiring decisions by using a dartboard.>>>

At my company the method used as a filter is to hire everybody through a temp agency for the first 6 months. Then HR goes on to ignore all feedback from the people that new hire worked with and officially hires them full time.

Posted by: Buzzsaw at April 27, 2017 11:34 AM (VHt7K)

21 When I'm hiring women I like to have them speaking into a microphone. I don't even have it turned on or anything. I just want to see what sort of technique they seem comfortable with.

But I generally end up hiring the ones with the biggest tits, anyway.

Posted by: Jesse Waters at April 27, 2017 11:35 AM (zc3Db)

22 college became a hiring requirement when applicant testing was basically outlawed... college has failed as filter, in fact it is training "value-detracting" individuals... the guy is now catch-22 unless the algorythm of the program works around specific topics to which there are hiring testing prohibitions

Posted by: phreshone at April 27, 2017 11:35 AM (DpOmP)

23 This has become such at issue at the company my brother works for that they have been holding seminars to teach managers about how to relate to the different generations.

He was laughing about a slide show they did where the reviewed what each generation (in general) wanted out of their job, out of life. This one wants work-life balance, this one wants achievement, fancy title, big salary, etc. Then they did the Milennial generation, and guess what? They want it all - and now, not after putting in years, working their way up. Yeah, that's a recipe for failure.

Posted by: Lizzy at April 27, 2017 11:35 AM (NOIQH)

24 Holden: They're just questions, Leon. In answer to your query, they're written down for me. It's a test designed to provoke an emotional response.

Holden: Shall we continue?

Holden: Describe in single words. Only the good things that come to your mind. About your mother.

Leon: My mother... I'll tell you about my mother.

Posted by: Ignoramus at April 27, 2017 11:36 AM (SIY7D)

25 Does employment law prevent the use of Magic 8-Ball?

Posted by: Headless Body of Agnew at April 27, 2017 11:36 AM (e1mEI)

26 Love the idea, but then the hiring manager misses out on a great opportunity to mock the snowflakes.

Generally they aren't hard to find:
They want to come to work in basketball shorts and t-shirt (we did have someone like that)

Have a douche-knot (hair bun). Additional points deducted if they use a douche-flute.

Drive a Prius

Haven't bathed in some time

Come to the interview without a tie (guys)

Posted by: Our Country is Screwed at April 27, 2017 11:36 AM (jxbfJ)

27 Where do you see yourself in ten years?
What is your greatest weakness?
What is your best attribute?

If you could nail those stupid questions in the old days you had a good chance at the job.

Posted by: Jack Sock at April 27, 2017 11:36 AM (osuON)

28 20 It's almost getting to the point where you have to make your hiring decisions by using a dartboard.>>>

At my company the method used as a filter is to hire everybody through a temp agency for the first 6 months. Then HR goes on to ignore all feedback from the people that new hire worked with and officially hires them full time.
Posted by: Buzzsaw at April 27, 2017 11:34 AM (VHt7K)

Yes, I saw that at a previous employer:

ME: Okay, we're short-handed, but this guy you want to hire said that his cat told him to kill Donald Duck.

HR DRONE: But was there an actual THREAT to kill Mr. Duck?

ME: [Face palm]

Posted by: joncelli, Longbow Afficianado and Phalangist at April 27, 2017 11:37 AM (RD7QR)

29 It's almost getting to the point where you have to make your hiring decisions by using a dartboard.

Or you don't hire folks you don't know. Someone mentioned referrals, yeah, that's already a big thing.

"Doesn't fit our organization" has always been a convenient catch-all.

Posted by: Brother Cavil, keeper of the Deplorable Unicode Character at April 27, 2017 11:37 AM (9krrF)

30 But I generally end up hiring the ones with the biggest tits, anyway.
Posted by: Jesse Waters at April 27, 2017 11:35 AM (zc3Db)

Yes, that's always the safest.

Posted by: Cicero (@cicero) at April 27, 2017 11:37 AM (JZdsf)

31 When hiring in the past I always included a, "Don't hire anyone you would never have in your living room at 2:30 am drunk" rule.
Of course you can't wonder about that out loud.

Posted by: Hopped Up On Something at April 27, 2017 11:37 AM (Oz6ib)

32 I heard this guy on Adam Corolla's podcast and he said when he mentions to the job applicants that they'll have to take a test, a lot of them just opt out. He said it was one of the best things to come out of coming up with the test.

Posted by: Dang at April 27, 2017 11:37 AM (8b+oT)

33 Posted by: Jesse Waters at April 27, 2017 11:35 AM (zc3Db)

Ha!

I got hired at my last job without presenting a resume. Years later I asked my boss why the documented work experience didn't matter...he said he was too distracted by what I was wearing.

Posted by: kallisto at April 27, 2017 11:37 AM (kD8Fh)

34 We want employees loaded with feck and shift.

Posted by: Grump928(C) at April 27, 2017 11:37 AM (LTHVh)

35 All kidding aside, any new hire -especially in the typical snowflake age range -should be hired as a contractor/temp for six months first. Even if they have prior job experience. Much easier to terminate their employment.

Posted by: Our Country is Screwed at April 27, 2017 11:38 AM (jxbfJ)

36 I know a guy who just asks applicants to add 11+17.

In their heads.

Posted by: Meremortal at April 27, 2017 11:38 AM (3myMJ)

37 Actually, we have something similar though it's more informal than this guy's 'test' - but someone scours social media postings of any potential new hire, a few of us have the specific task of reading nuances behind what they say during the interview, how they present themselves etc. We have weeded out more than a few snowflakes - the 'I spent a year bumming around unambitiously', 'I totally identify as a tree hugger', 'I expect to be a project manager in five years', etc. And we are an engineering group - so there are SJW types even in the technical field these days.

Posted by: IC at April 27, 2017 11:38 AM (a0IVu)

38 Wait, What? Exactly how did your initial interview with Ace go again?
Posted by: Hopped Up On Something at April 27, 2017 11:33 AM (Oz6ib)

Heh. What interview? I just kind of elbowed my way in.

Posted by: OregonMuse, deplorable since 2004 at April 27, 2017 11:39 AM (ieXn8)

39 The Duke Power SCOTUS decision was well-intentioned but has had momentous adverse consequences for the USA. In effect this ruling makes it quite difficult for employers to use aptitude tests.

You know who can use aptitude tests to sort incoming "employees." The US military, and it works well form what I've heard

Posted by: Ignoramus at April 27, 2017 11:39 AM (SIY7D)

40 I recently overheard someone at work asking if they could reject their top, most qualified candidate because she found out (maybe facebook?) that he was a conservative and she felt he wouldn't "fit in" with the company culture.

There was a lot of hemming and hawing around that. The angry lesbians and a little-too-out gays don't seem to encounter the same questions about their ability to fit in.

Posted by: sunny-dee at April 27, 2017 11:39 AM (QAOZh)

41 I use basic and ocs as my snowflake test, doesn't solve other problems - but it cuts down on the whiners. Especially when I ask to speak to there last boss.

Posted by: Jean at April 27, 2017 11:39 AM (zZb/S)

42 But I generally end up hiring the ones with the biggest tits, anyway.
Posted by: Jesse Waters

put your hands behind your head with your elbows pointing forward.

move toward the wall

If your elbows touch the wall 1st, sorry you aren't what we are looking for

Posted by: Rick in SK at April 27, 2017 11:39 AM (FZYNt)

43 I use a team-panel approach for my interviews. One person focuses on the candidate's technical skills, one person focuses on the candidate's interpersonal skills, and one concentrates on the candidate's history and likelihood of achieving development goals.

So for instance, we may ask the candidate about plans to get a Masters. The candidate will say he's planning on doing it, but one person can key in there and ask what actions he's taken to achieve that goal. Same with the technical skills...the candidate may say he can do xyz, but having someone who has ACTUALLY done xyz and can spot any BS is invaluable.

We haven't needed special or off the wall questions - just having a team look at the candidate for different things is very helpful. It weeds out about 95% of the riff raff.

Posted by: Witchdoktor, AKA VA GOP Sucks at April 27, 2017 11:39 AM (PFy0L)

44 "Doesn't fit our organization" has always been a convenient catch-all.
Posted by: Brother Cavil, keeper of the Deplorable Unicode Character at April 27, 2017 11:37 AM (9krrF)

This guy was probably hiring from the college he was an alumni of (the way of the Northeast) but finally figured out his alma mater turned to shit

Posted by: phreshone at April 27, 2017 11:39 AM (DpOmP)

45 It doesn't matter what questions you ask here, if you don't hire minimum of a certain number of blacks you will be sued. And when you have people like Obama in office the DOJ will be the suing body.

Posted by: Vic We Have No Party at April 27, 2017 11:39 AM (mpXpK)

46 The EEOC is going to have fun with him.

"What do you mean you won't hire people who hate America?"

Posted by: Bicentennialguy at April 27, 2017 11:39 AM (eBea1)

47 If you're a business owner, the way to do it is have a snowflake test but don't tell anyone. Do it but don't call attention to it.

Posted by: rickl at April 27, 2017 11:39 AM (xjiRE)

48 Then the interviewers don't know which questions to ask. (Hint: "What is your greatest flaw?" is a stupid, stupid question.)
Posted by: joncelli, Longbow Afficianado and Phalangist at April 27, 2017 11:33 AM (RD7QR)

I used to interview prospects for specialty retail sales.
I always wanted to ask the stupid "what kind of tree would you be?"

I would've hired anyone that answered "whatever kind of tree that fell on you for asking such a stupid question." Or -
"What is your biggest weakness?"
"Kryptonite."

Posted by: Fried Baloney Sandwich at April 27, 2017 11:39 AM (lalCH)

49 I have occasionally gotten a phone call saying that someone has listed me as a reference.

Sometimes my only answer to every question is that I can confirm that they were employed by us during the period in question.

And if someone is too stupid to connect the dots that the answer to every question is exactly the same?

Well, that's on them, and I hope they enjoy our former employee.

Posted by: Village Idiot's Apprentice at April 27, 2017 11:40 AM (J+eG2)

50 Here, have a corndog.

Posted by: Grump928(C) at April 27, 2017 11:40 AM (LTHVh)

51 36 I know a guy who just asks applicants to add 11+17.

In their heads.
Posted by: Meremortal

My answer would be: " You cant add two prime numbers in your head, everyone knows that!"

Posted by: Jean at April 27, 2017 11:40 AM (zZb/S)

52 I was aware of one firm that identified certain things about the candidate that were not allowed to be included on the application via colored paper clips. This is where the applications were advanced up the line for review.

Posted by: Jack Sock at April 27, 2017 11:40 AM (osuON)

53 I guess it beats looking for your clues in dress, deportment, grooming, speech/vocabulary. Those are signals also.

How about "What was your favorite elective course?"

Posted by: *Mikey NTH - Join the Conspiracy of the Month Club at the Outrage Outlet! Flavored Tinfoil in May! at April 27, 2017 11:40 AM (hLRSq)

54 We want employees loaded with feck and shift.
Posted by: Grump928(C) at April 27, 2017 11:37 AM (LTHVh)

"Feck and Shift" sounds like a law firm in a Dickens novel.

Posted by: OregonMuse, deplorable since 2004 at April 27, 2017 11:40 AM (ieXn8)

55 The last place I worked before I went on disability had an out sized number of veterans I worked on a team of about 15 people and 10 were veterans from Vietnam era to post 9-11.

Posted by: USNtakim at April 27, 2017 11:40 AM (hMqvx)

56 This is why they have to do things like look for you on social media and that is why they devise snowflake tests. Pretty much all of the conventional means for assessing employee fitness have been made illegal. It's almost getting to the point where you have to make your hiring decisions by using a dartboard.

Yup.

It's the usual problem that bad facts make bad law. There were cases where former employers made actually libelous statements about prior employees and now it's person x worked from date y to date z. Hell, I've seen recommendations that you don't even do that in case the dates are off slightly for whatever reason. Just, yes or no, this person worked there.

The thing about using social media? That exposes a whole bunch of information that you can't ask in interviews so even using that is problematic.

I'm not defending the stupid system of complete stupidity, I'm merely noting that it's stupid, stupid, stupid.

I think the future is rapidly approaching for everyone doing only contract work because having actual employees is too fraught with problems.

Posted by: alexthechick - rrraaawwwrrr at April 27, 2017 11:41 AM (mf5HN)

57 Forgot - one very interesting set of questions I use goes like this.

1) OK, so we hire you. One year from now you go home and think to yourself you just had the best day ever in your entire career. What happened to make you think that?

2) Now jump forward a year and a day. You get a job offer from our competitor. What would they need to offer you to make you consider moving?

Posted by: Witchdoktor, AKA VA GOP Sucks at April 27, 2017 11:41 AM (PFy0L)

58 36 I know a guy who just asks applicants to add 11+17.

In their heads.
Posted by: Meremortal

or "Please derive a fourier transform on the white board, and explain the steps in English - not Urdu or Chinese."

Posted by: Jean at April 27, 2017 11:41 AM (zZb/S)

59 And I'm in a tech company, for crying out loud. Then again, Mozilla ran off Brendan Eich, so there you go.

Posted by: sunny-dee at April 27, 2017 11:41 AM (QAOZh)

60 I am so glad I am secure in my slot and am counting down days to retirement and I have a moonlighting self-employment I can do in semi-retirement.

The more nonsense the Left comes up with, the more likely people will have to work for themselves.

Posted by: Curmudgeon at April 27, 2017 11:41 AM (ujg0T)

61 Here's the Adam Corolla show with the guy being interviewed. I was surprised what a huge a pussy Bald Brian sounds like. (He was determined to be the biggest snowflake in Adam's company for being defiant in answering questions.) He's definitely a California guy who thinks employers should be very regulated concerning who they do and don't hire.

http://adamcarolla.com/kyle-reyes/

Posted by: Dang at April 27, 2017 11:42 AM (8b+oT)

62 And we have them take a Microsoft excel spreadsheet test - simple routines, formulas, spot the mistakes; every year the engineering graduates come out dumber and dumber. Its amazing.

Posted by: IC at April 27, 2017 11:42 AM (a0IVu)

63 39
The Duke Power SCOTUS decision was well-intentioned but has had
momentous adverse consequences for the USA. In effect this ruling makes
it quite difficult for employers to use aptitude tests.

You know who can use aptitude tests to sort incoming "employees." The US military, and it works well form what I've heard

Posted by: Ignoramus at April 27, 2017 11:39 AM (SIY7D)

You can use all manner of tests, especially for highly skilled jobs. But you better be able to justify them. We still gave specialized tests when we were hiring people who went into the operator program.

Posted by: Vic We Have No Party at April 27, 2017 11:43 AM (mpXpK)

64 "My answer would be: " You cant add two prime numbers in your head, everyone knows that!"

So...a trick question?

Good catch.

Posted by: Village Idiot's Apprentice at April 27, 2017 11:43 AM (J+eG2)

65 The guy who ran Neiman Marcus wrote a book called something like: In Pursuit of Excellence. I think he wrote it in the early 70's. He talked about always telling applicants at the end of their interviews to ask him whatever question they desired.

He hired one young man on the spot for this question (paraphrased):

"Is there any reason outside my own performance why I can't be the CEO of Neiman Marcus in 15 years?"

Posted by: Meremortal at April 27, 2017 11:43 AM (3myMJ)

66 And we have them take a Microsoft excel spreadsheet test

Excel95? Or one of the newer abominations?

Posted by: Grump928(C) at April 27, 2017 11:44 AM (LTHVh)

67 "What is your greatest weakness?"

My sister was asked this question by the first woman partner at one of the major accounting firms. This fat overweight nerd made it clear form the start of the interview that there'd be no place for my sister, who answered "What is your greatest weakness? with

Italian food

Posted by: Ignoramus at April 27, 2017 11:44 AM (SIY7D)

68 I love America. And guns.

Posted by: Insomniac at April 27, 2017 11:44 AM (0mRoj)

69 66, Excel95? Or one of the newer abominations?

Posted by: Grump928(C) at April 27, 2017 11:44 AM (LTHVh)
Sadly, the newer abominations.

Posted by: IC at April 27, 2017 11:44 AM (a0IVu)

70 A previous employer CAN answer this question:

Would you rehire this person again?

Posted by: Chi-Town Jerry at April 27, 2017 11:44 AM (so+oy)

71 put your hands behind your head with your elbows pointing forward.

move toward the wall

If your elbows touch the wall 1st, sorry you aren't what we are looking for
Posted by: Rick in SK

Ahhhhh. Hospitality market. +1

Posted by: rickb223 at April 27, 2017 11:45 AM (gJBE5)

72 I think someone is about to take a test.

http://www.weaselzippers.us/?p=336142

Posted by: Village Idiot's Apprentice at April 27, 2017 11:45 AM (J+eG2)

73 Have applicants sit in a waiting room.
Show them a film demonstrating what you are looking for, describing your company's values.
Film their response. Tell them cameras are recording.
Scrutinize the footage for telltale signs of melting.
Conduct interview accordingly.

Posted by: Jingo Unchained! at April 27, 2017 11:45 AM (VFhMt)

74 The only improvement I would make on this test is adding the big monty pythons foot to stomp them when they fail.

Posted by: Berserker- Dragonheads Division at April 27, 2017 11:45 AM (aMlLZ)

75 I got hired at my last job without presenting a
resume. Years later I asked my boss why the documented work experience
didn't matter...he said he was too distracted by what I was wearing.

Posted by: kallisto
-----
My kid was filling out some job applications the other day and I suddenly realized that I have never, ever, filled out a job application.

Posted by: Dang at April 27, 2017 11:45 AM (8b+oT)

76 70 A previous employer CAN answer this question:

Would you rehire this person again?
Posted by: Chi-Town Jerry at April 27, 2017 11:44 AM (so+oy)

I assume responding with derisive laughter gives all the information necessary.

Posted by: joncelli, Longbow Afficianado and Phalangist at April 27, 2017 11:46 AM (RD7QR)

77 or "Please derive a fourier transform on the white board, and explain the steps in English - not Urdu or Chinese."
Posted by: Jean at April 27, 2017 11:41 AM (zZb/S)

One interview, I was asked to calculate the volume of the Washington Monument on the white board.

Posted by: OregonMuse, deplorable since 2004 at April 27, 2017 11:46 AM (ieXn8)

78
I used to interview prospects for specialty retail sales.
I always wanted to ask the stupid "what kind of tree would you be?"

I would've hired anyone that answered "whatever kind of tree that fell on you for asking such a stupid question." Or -
"What is your biggest weakness?"
"Kryptonite."

Posted by: Fried Baloney Sandwich at April 27, 2017 11:39 AM (lalCH)

This is probably irrelevant to the topic, but I once knew a real estate investor who wouldn't rent to "certain people" and flat out tell them that.

For example, he never rented his houses to lawyers. They could be white, black, female, gay, whatever, but he'd tell them "I'm not renting to you because you're a lawyer" and knew he could get away with it because lawyers aren't a protected class. Nobody ever challenged him far as I know.

I'm off to bed. Later.

Posted by: Country Boy at April 27, 2017 11:46 AM (Jcg9Q)

79 OT, but Jesse Watters is taking a 'vacation'...Poor dude. Fox is really out to purge anyone who isn't completely a lefty it seems.

Posted by: IC at April 27, 2017 11:46 AM (a0IVu)

80 Posted by: Jingo Unchained! at April 27, 2017 11:45 AM (VFhMt)

And give them an electric shock if they cringe at the wrong things!

Posted by: Meremortal at April 27, 2017 11:46 AM (3myMJ)

81 "Can you make it to the blue part on the rocket popsicle in your hand?"

Posted by: Mr Aspirin Factory at April 27, 2017 11:46 AM (fAZRN)

82 "What is your greatest weakness?"

My sister was asked this question by the first woman partner at one of the major accounting firms. This fat overweight nerd made it clear form the start of the interview that there'd be no place for my sister, who answered "What is your greatest weakness? with

Italian food

Steak. I'll cut a bitch for a great steak.

Posted by: rickb223 at April 27, 2017 11:46 AM (gJBE5)

83 How do you feel about goats?

Posted by: Survey at April 27, 2017 11:46 AM (vtcmf)

84 What if you like being an American but can't say you're really proud of it because it was an accident of birth?

"What is your greatest flaw?"

FLAW? What do you mean, flaw?

Posted by: Pogonip at April 27, 2017 11:46 AM (qmOf1)

85 The key is to get the interviewee to talk about himself/herself. If you aren't willing to read between the lines or pay attention to how they answer questions, then you are out of luck.

Also, another commenter was right, if you aren't getting anything other than 'he was employed here' when you call a reference, I think you can surmise that he might have a troubled work background.

You have to take everything into account when hiring and review the resume and ask questions about it. Like, "So tell me about your time at XYZ firm." If it look dicey, such as less than 1 year of employment, and they don't give an answer that makes sense...etc.

Sure, you can't ask certain things directly, but you can do your homework before interviewing someone!

Posted by: K-E at April 27, 2017 11:47 AM (s3vlQ)

86 I assume responding with derisive laughter gives all the information necessary.
Posted by: joncelli, Longbow Afficianado and Phalangist at April 27, 2017 11:46 AM (RD7QR)

You could always say "You would be lucky to get our former employee to work for you" and let THEM figure it out.

Posted by: OregonMuse, deplorable since 2004 at April 27, 2017 11:47 AM (ieXn8)

87 "You can use all manner of tests, especially for highly skilled jobs. But you better be able to justify them. "

Smaller companies don't have the deep pockets that plaintiff lawyers covet. Bigger companies and government do. If they're hiring is out of line with favored group demographics, they're a target.

FFS, NY just threw out a test of English literacy for elementary school teachers.

Posted by: Ignoramus at April 27, 2017 11:47 AM (SIY7D)

88 Would you rehire this person again?
Posted by: Chi-Town Jerry at April 27, 2017 11:44 AM (so+oy)

I assume responding with derisive laughter gives all the information necessary.
Posted by: joncelli

Length and volume of the snort.

Posted by: rickb223 at April 27, 2017 11:48 AM (gJBE5)

89 I had to take a test to be hired as a car salesman. Kind of like a mini SAT.

Posted by: josephistan at April 27, 2017 11:48 AM (7HtZB)

90 If we were to walk outside to your car, what kind of bumper stickers would we see?

Posted by: Survey at April 27, 2017 11:48 AM (vtcmf)

91 My original job interview had on a lot of stuff like that but I would lay dollars to doughnuts it no longer is.
Posted by: Vic We Have No Party

Adm Rickover would not have been kind to millenials

Posted by: Jean at April 27, 2017 11:49 AM (zZb/S)

92 You could always say "You would be lucky to get our former employee to work for you" and let THEM figure it out.
Posted by: OregonMuse

ISWYDT. Golf Clap.

Posted by: rickb223 at April 27, 2017 11:49 AM (gJBE5)

93 Yeah. I get around this by not asking questions.

But I tell them certain things about myself and gage the reaction.

So, I don't ask about guns, but I may talk about them. I talk about having done missions work when I talk about myself. I let it be known I homeschool my kids.

The snowflakes are not going at hiding reactions. They think they are hiding them. But it's really obvious.

It's okay if you figure out you don't like me in the interview.

Posted by: TexasDan at April 27, 2017 11:49 AM (yL25O)

94 The "you can't ask these questions" protects only bad employees, ie the democrat base.

Posted by: BeckoningChasm at April 27, 2017 11:49 AM (GlR3I)

95 Of course you can just kick out the uptalkers. That would save a lot of time and is a great indicator of being useless.

Posted by: Meremortal at April 27, 2017 11:49 AM (3myMJ)

96 Some potential responses

http://navyfitrep.com/bullets-poor.html

Posted by: Village Idiot's Apprentice at April 27, 2017 11:50 AM (J+eG2)

97 I'm going to have to start looking again, soon. Considering whether to volunteer the info that I am a Trump supporter right up front. That would save both parties a lot of angst.

Posted by: kallisto at April 27, 2017 11:50 AM (kD8Fh)

98 Banana Splits Corp Hiring Interview:
Is your name Winona? (If yes, end here)
Do you know Winona?
Have you heard of Winona?
Any thoughts about Winona?
Do you like big tits?
Do you have big tits?
Do you enjoy big tit reading material?
How are the nipples?
What are you drinking?
Do you like camping?
How many rubber bands do you think you can wrap around your ballsack/boob?
Can you smell that?
How about now?
Do you have any pancakes?

Thank you for your interest!!

Posted by: Banana Splits Guy at April 27, 2017 11:50 AM (jHFYS)

99 I used to interview prospects for specialty retail sales.
I always wanted to ask the stupid "what kind of tree would you be?"

I would've hired anyone that answered "whatever kind of tree that fell on you for asking such a stupid question." Or -
"What is your biggest weakness?"
"Kryptonite."
Posted by: Fried Baloney Sandwich at April 27, 2017 11:39 AM (lalCH)

I wished I had interviewed with you back in the day!

I remember one interview where they gave me the standard touchy feely questions.

They asked me about wage and salary expectations, and I initially begged it off because I figured the first interview was NOT the time to bring that up, and I was just desperate for a job back then.

But they persisted, so I replied "Whaddaya got?" in my best imitation of a young Marlon Brando in "The Wild One".

Posted by: Curmudgeon at April 27, 2017 11:50 AM (ujg0T)

100 "Carpet or hardwood?"

Posted by: Mr Aspirin Factory at April 27, 2017 11:51 AM (fAZRN)

101 Another interview, I was asked how to get exactly 4 cups of water if all I had was a 5-cup container and a 3-cup container (and all the water I needed from some other source).

Providentially, I had seen this problem before, so I was able to reproduce it from memory.

Didn't get the job, though.

Posted by: OregonMuse, deplorable since 2004 at April 27, 2017 11:52 AM (ieXn8)

102 Was just commenting to Mrs. Redux, who had minor foot surgery yesterday, that HR has somehow taken wholesale control of companies and how they are managed even though most of the people who work in HR have the combined IQ equal to a broken parking meter - in addition - employment laws make it almost impossible to "weed out" anyone.

I think you will get sued over this - particularly the "do you love your country" question or whatever it is. Trying to weed out people who have an ultra high sense of entitlement or will be "triggered" by anything is an admirable goal - but it has to be done very, very carefully.

Posted by: Publius Redux at April 27, 2017 11:52 AM (Fb9aZ)

103 95 Of course you can just kick out the uptalkers. That would save a lot of time and is a great indicator of being useless.
Posted by: Meremortal at April 27, 2017 11:49 AM (3myMJ)

Excellent.

Posted by: josephistan at April 27, 2017 11:52 AM (7HtZB)

104 My friend's favorites are the ones who bring a list of their upcoming already planned vacations to the first interview. Saves time.

Posted by: Meremortal at April 27, 2017 11:52 AM (3myMJ)

105 If they drive to the interview, let the air out of a driver side tire.
If they change it themselves, hire. (and air it up before they leave)
If they cry or blame Trump ... nope.

Posted by: illiniwek at April 27, 2017 11:52 AM (TmCOq)

106 I managed a bar and restaurant once. One day I looked through recent bartender applications and on the top of one the bar manager had written, "Danger Danger Will Robinson!"
The book keeper politely told us that you really can't write stuff like that. Told me not to ever give any details at all on a reference call too.

Posted by: Hopped Up On Something at April 27, 2017 11:53 AM (gyL6Y)

107 On the upside, I'm making virtually the same argument to have an opening at my company filled by me instead of an outsider, because they have no clue who they'd be getting and can only pray an outside hire won't be a disaster and a devil, whereas it's better to deal with the ruggedly handsome devil they DO know.

Posted by: Gaylord Farkemall at April 27, 2017 11:53 AM (bLY78)

108 A friend of mine won a job over dozens of candidates. Her winning strategy: sheer black hose and high heeled pumps. And bewbs. She did boast quite the rack.

this was in creative, though. That method may not work in more serious disciplines.

Posted by: kallisto at April 27, 2017 11:54 AM (kD8Fh)

109 Tattoo test - ideally no tats. But if an applicant does have them, and look like they got them in the service, they should be OK. If they look like the standard hipster fare, no dice.

Posted by: josephistan at April 27, 2017 11:54 AM (7HtZB)

110 I think we could have a thread on answers to the "what is your greatest weakness" question.

Smartass or suckup. The only two ways to confront that one.

Posted by: TexasDan at April 27, 2017 11:54 AM (yL25O)

111 or "Please derive a fourier transform on the white board, and explain the steps in English - not Urdu or Chinese."
Posted by: Jean at April 27, 2017 11:41 AM (zZb/S)

One interview, I was asked to calculate the volume of the Washington Monument on the white board.
Posted by: OregonMuse

tough, I know how tall it is off-hand, but don't know the sides and taper. I could probably est it as a rectangle or cylinder.

Posted by: Jean at April 27, 2017 11:54 AM (zZb/S)

112 Companies hire for social reasons now. Use to they hired to meet some goal. Usually making money.

At some point it will switch again or we go back to food shortages.

Most in US don't want to work crap jobs because they don't have too. Get rid of all the trust funds and tax the crap out of so-called non-profits and everyone starts doing a days work for a days pay. Don't get me started pn ETB and SNAP. Or LBJ either. (commonly know as EL B. J. similar to B.J Clinton).

Posted by: OK at April 27, 2017 11:54 AM (OE5e7)

113 ***They want it all - and now, not after putting in years, working their way up. Yeah, that's a recipe for failure.
Posted by: Lizzy at April 27, 2017 11:35 AM (NOIQH)

The same is true about real estate, cars, everything. They want everything their parents have after a lifetime of work.

Lord, grant me patience and I want it Right Now!

Posted by: Dave at Buffalo Roam at April 27, 2017 11:55 AM (Eyx+b)

114 OT, but Jesse Watters is taking a 'vacation'...Poor dude. Fox is really out to purge anyone who isn't completely a lefty it seems.
Posted by: IC
...............
Yeah.. but did you see what he did/said?
They couldn't let that pass..

Posted by: Chi-Town Jerry at April 27, 2017 11:55 AM (so+oy)

115 103 95 Of course you can just kick out the uptalkers. That would save a lot of time and is a great indicator of being useless.
Posted by: Meremortal at April 27, 2017 11:49 AM (3myMJ)

Excellent.
Posted by: josephistan at April 27, 2017 11:52 AM (7HtZB)

My greatest weakness? Is, like, working too hard? And corn dogs?

Posted by: joncelli, Longbow Afficianado and Phalangist at April 27, 2017 11:55 AM (RD7QR)

116 "A friend of mine won a job over dozens of candidates. Her winning strategy: sheer black hose and high heeled pumps. And bewbs. She did boast quite the rack. "

You know AlextheChick?

Posted by: Village Idiot's Apprentice at April 27, 2017 11:56 AM (J+eG2)

117 Co2 is a deadly, poisonous gas? True or false?

Posted by: Survey at April 27, 2017 11:57 AM (vtcmf)

118 OT, but Jesse Watters is taking a 'vacation'...Poor dude. Fox is really out to purge anyone who isn't completely a lefty it seems.
Posted by: IC at April 27, 2017 11:46 AM (a0IVu)

I've been watching OAN for news in the morning thanks to the Horde making it known there is a good alternative to Fox News.

I did check in a few times this AM on Fox. Good lord, F&F has turned into a self congratulatory awards show. Today, both Brian's kids were featured as was Doocy's kid that is now an employee reporter. And Ainsley Airhead sat giggling and repeating "god bless you , and your family Brian".

And every male guest that shows up, Ainsley walks over and hugs and kisses.

I'm beginning to think Murdoch's kids are right. Some serious revamping of the news department and it's deliverers is in order. FBN is much , much better, hope they leave that alone.

Posted by: Jen at April 27, 2017 11:57 AM (YZ5sm)

119 OT, but Jesse Watters is taking a 'vacation'...Poor dude. Fox is really out to purge anyone who isn't completely a lefty it seems.
Posted by: IC

yeah, been nice knowing you Jesse.

See you on BOR's podcast

Posted by: Rick in SK at April 27, 2017 11:58 AM (FZYNt)

120
My greatest weakness? Is, like, working too hard? And corn dogs?

But mostly corn dogs.

Posted by: Bertram Cabot, Jr. at April 27, 2017 11:58 AM (IqV8l)

121 113 ***They want it all - and now, not after putting in years, working their way up. Yeah, that's a recipe for failure.
Posted by: Lizzy at April 27, 2017 11:35 AM (NOIQH)

The same is true about real estate, cars, everything. They want everything their parents have after a lifetime of work.

Lord, grant me patience and I want it Right Now!
Posted by: Dave at Buffalo Roam at April 27, 2017 11:55 AM (Eyx+b)

In fairness, 25 or more years ago they were saying all the same about us Generation X grads, right?

Although I will say we were certainly not so indoctrinated. Not that the leftists were not trying back then too, but perhaps remembering Boat People, the Ayatollah and the Soviet Empire had a lot to do with that.

Posted by: Curmudgeon at April 27, 2017 11:58 AM (ujg0T)

122 Whatever's going on with hiring these days, it's keeping me in the cold.

Posted by: Insomniac at April 27, 2017 11:58 AM (0mRoj)

123 I know plenty of managers who look at Millennials and say: why risk bringing cancer into my business?

A real shame as there are plenty of committed, focused young people with a ton on student debt on their backs who can run circles around aging, indolent, entitled Baby Boomers.

Posted by: regular joe at April 27, 2017 11:59 AM (O50yS)

124 tough, I know how tall it is off-hand, but don't know the sides and taper. I could probably est it as a rectangle or cylinder.
Posted by: Jean at April 27, 2017 11:54 AM (zZb/S)

They told me how tall it was, so that wasn't a problem, the problem, as you noted, was the taper. My method was to assume a perfect rectangular solid and then subtract some for the taper, based on a SWAG. One of the guys interviewing me absolutely did not like this, but I didn't know how else to do it.

Posted by: OregonMuse, deplorable since 2004 at April 27, 2017 11:59 AM (ieXn8)

125 A friend of mine won a job over dozens of candidates. Her winning strategy: sheer black hose and high heeled pumps. And bewbs. She did boast quite the rack.

this was in creative, though. That method may not work in more serious disciplines.
Posted by: kallisto

works in every discipline, even tip-o-spear stuff, can always find a desk job that needs doing for the right rack.

Posted by: Jean at April 27, 2017 11:59 AM (zZb/S)

126 Back in the 90s, I recall an interview with a Boeing plant HR guy, who said one of his rules for hiring was 'if their shoes are untied at the interview, they aren't capable of building airplanes'. Something about attention to detail being key when you're building a product designed to hurtle through the air at 600 mph with people aboard.

Go figure.

Posted by: GnuBreed at April 27, 2017 11:59 AM (wTwJ2)

127 FBN is much , much better, hope they leave that alone.
Posted by: Jen at April 27, 2017 11:57 AM (YZ5sm)

Defnitely. And I always wondered where Lisa "Kennedy" Montgomery ended up.

Posted by: Curmudgeon at April 27, 2017 11:59 AM (ujg0T)

128 One interview, I was asked to calculate the volume of the Washington Monument on the white board.
Posted by: OregonMuse

I was unaware the monument made noise.

Posted by: TexasDan at April 27, 2017 11:59 AM (yL25O)

129 "Hiring" is such a bourgeois concept.

Posted by: V. I. Lenin, HR at April 27, 2017 11:59 AM (fbgDX)

130 I've done more than my share of hiring interviews too. And I'll admit I've been fooled into hiring folks who have been substandard (I tend to err on the side of hiring vets and not all vets are created or made equal). But you can get a pretty good feel for someone based on not just what they answer, but how they answer.

People who assert answers and can defend them make pretty decent employees, people who really want THIS job (instead of just A job) are also usually worth a try.

Posted by: Mark Andrew Edwards at April 27, 2017 12:00 PM (6KsvZ)

131 Whatever's going on with hiring these days, it's keeping me in the cold.
Posted by: Insomniac at April 27, 2017 11:58 AM (0mRoj)

How old are you?

Posted by: OregonMuse, deplorable since 2004 at April 27, 2017 12:00 PM (ieXn8)

132 128 One interview, I was asked to calculate the volume of the Washington Monument on the white board.
Posted by: OregonMuse

I was unaware the monument made noise.
Posted by: TexasDan at April 27, 2017 11:59 AM (yL25O)

Better yet, you could point out that on the white board, it's a two-dimensional figure, so no volume.

Posted by: TexasDan at April 27, 2017 12:00 PM (yL25O)

133 Oh - and the reason why I mentioned Mrs. Redux's foot surgery is that Mrs. Redux's HR folks told her she would "have to" file for short term disability despite the fact that she has a desk job, and remote access, and often can and does work from home ( and was approved to work form home for the few days that she will be off her feet for this surgery, by her boss). I told her to call back HR and say "Umm, f*ck no, I am not filing for short term disability because I am not, in fact, disabled sh*thead. I took a half day off for my surgery. Tomorrow and Friday I will be at my desk working remotely from home and Monday I will be back at my desk at work - so why the f*ck do you think I am disabled?"

I believe she called and struck a more conciliatory tone. Heh.

Posted by: Publius Redux at April 27, 2017 12:00 PM (Fb9aZ)

134 Back in the 90s, I recall an interview with a Boeing plant HR guy, who said one of his rules for hiring was 'if their shoes are untied at the interview, they aren't capable of building airplanes'.

What if you're wearing penny loafers?

Posted by: Mary Poppins' Practically Perfect Piercing at April 27, 2017 12:01 PM (X6fMO)

135 One interview, I was asked to calculate the volume of the Washington Monument on the white board.
Posted by: OregonMuse

I was unaware the monument made noise.
Posted by: TexasDan at April 27, 2017 11:59 AM (yL25O)

Oh, it can get quite loud, particularly on cold mornings.

Posted by: OregonMuse, deplorable since 2004 at April 27, 2017 12:01 PM (ieXn8)

136 "volume of the Washington Monument"

well, with a big enough tub of water....

Posted by: Boulder terlit hobo at April 27, 2017 12:01 PM (Su6wb)

137 I know its 555ft tall and I think its 50ft/side on the base. But, its got a visible taper you'd have to measure. Maybe that was the right answer, get me a drawing or put me on a plane with tools.

Posted by: Jean at April 27, 2017 12:01 PM (zZb/S)

138 ***They want it all - and now, not after putting in years, working their way up. Yeah, that's a recipe for failure.
Posted by: Lizzy at April 27, 2017 11:35 AM (NOIQH)

The same is true about real estate, cars, everything. They want everything their parents have after a lifetime of work.

Lord, grant me patience and I want it Right Now!
Posted by: Dave at Buffalo Roam at April 27, 2017 11:55 AM (Eyx+b)

Mr. Jen works in an industry that requires 24/7 coverage for customers.

Newly minted college grads have straight up told him they will not work weekends or late. Despite having a degree that they knew was for an industry that runs 24/7. Also want several weeks of vacation to start and will not answer phone for work.

The snowflake generation, coddled by parents, teachers, soccer coaches and college.

We reap what we sow.

Posted by: Jen at April 27, 2017 12:01 PM (YZ5sm)

139 So one of my duties while unemployed is to scour the internets for the people-finding websites and edit my age.

Because I don't look my chronological age and fuck it.

Posted by: kallisto at April 27, 2017 12:02 PM (kD8Fh)

140 131 Whatever's going on with hiring these days, it's keeping me in the cold.
Posted by: Insomniac at April 27, 2017 11:58 AM (0mRoj)

How old are you?
Posted by: OregonMuse, deplorable since 2004 at April 27, 2017 12:00 PM (ieXn

Early 40s

Posted by: Insomniac at April 27, 2017 12:02 PM (0mRoj)

141 128 One interview, I was asked to calculate the volume of the Washington Monument on the white board.
Posted by: OregonMuse

I was unaware the monument made noise.
Posted by: TexasDan at April 27, 2017 11:59 AM (yL25O)

The answer had to be.... 11...

Posted by: Don Q. at April 27, 2017 12:02 PM (NgKpN)

142 I know plenty of managers who look at Millennials and say: why risk bringing cancer into my business?

*****************

My boss is a Millennial and a Trump Man, so far every one of his hires have worked out well. I can just imagine the questions he asks in his interviews:

"What are some examples you can provide on how you would make our company great again?"

Posted by: Gaylord Farkemall at April 27, 2017 12:02 PM (bLY78)

143 The whole hiring tests and regulations is another area Donnie has to have the staff hit touts suites

Posted by: phreshone at April 27, 2017 11:31 AM (DpOmP)

He needs to start by getting rid of the Obama people and putting his own in. Start with firing the scum at the IRS and work from there

Posted by: TheQuietMan at April 27, 2017 12:03 PM (493sH)

144 I went on a job interview for a IT programming position in the 90s down south. The IT manager was a woman and repeatedly asked me if I had a problem working for a woman. I kept replying that I just wanted to be treated fairly. Yet I bet I was asked that question 5 times during the interview.

Posted by: Our Country is Screwed at April 27, 2017 12:03 PM (jxbfJ)

145 134 Back in the 90s, I recall an interview with a Boeing plant HR guy, who said one of his rules for hiring was 'if their shoes are untied at the interview, they aren't capable of building airplanes'.

What if you're wearing penny loafers?
Posted by: Mary Poppins' Practically Perfect Piercing at April 27, 2017 12:01 PM (X6fMO)

Then you're gay and they have to hire you.

Posted by: Insomniac at April 27, 2017 12:03 PM (0mRoj)

146 Early 40s

Posted by: Insomniac at April 27, 2017 12:02 PM (0mRoj)

Are you hot?

Posted by: kallisto at April 27, 2017 12:04 PM (kD8Fh)

147 Unfortunately, I think this is a lawsuit waiting to happen.

....

I don't think so.

Especially in "Right to Work" states like Tennessee, you can pretty much hire and fire at will because no notice of separation or cause are necessary to fire someone.

Obviously you couldn't overtly advertise "We don't hire Democrats" and you can't expect work in a hostile work pace, but as of yet the courts haven't ruled saying the word "gun" or using gender specific pronouns constitutes a hostile work environment.

Posted by: Malcolm Tent at April 27, 2017 12:04 PM (GQn43)

148
Do you like Don Draper?

Posted by: Soothsayer -- That's class! at April 27, 2017 12:04 PM (HjTzR)

149 146 Early 40s

Posted by: Insomniac at April 27, 2017 12:02 PM (0mRoj)

Are you hot?
Posted by: kallisto at April 27, 2017 12:04 PM (kD8Fh)

No, but not hideous either.

Posted by: Insomniac at April 27, 2017 12:04 PM (0mRoj)

150 I know a guy who just asks applicants to add 11+17.

In their heads.
Posted by: Jean

Common core solution:

11+17 = (10+1) + (10+7)
= (10+10-9) + (10 + 10-3)
= 10+10+10+10-3-9
= 40 - (3+9)
= 40 -12
= 40 -(10+2)
= 40 -10-2
= 30-2
= 28

If they do it like this, do not hire them

Posted by: Ripley at April 27, 2017 12:05 PM (1BQGO)

151

er, look like Don Draper, I mean

Posted by: Soothsayer -- That's class! at April 27, 2017 12:05 PM (HjTzR)

152 I went on a job interview for a IT programming position in the 90s down south. The IT manager was a woman and repeatedly asked me if I had a problem working for a woman. I kept replying that I just wanted to be treated fairly. Yet I bet I was asked that question 5 times during the interview.

Posted by: Our Country is Screwed

I guess an answer like: "most of the month, no problem" wouldn't have worked

Posted by: Jean at April 27, 2017 12:05 PM (zZb/S)

153 They told me how tall it was, so that wasn't a problem, the problem, as you noted, was the taper. My method was to assume a perfect rectangular solid and then subtract some for the taper, based on a SWAG. One of the guys interviewing me absolutely did not like this, but I didn't know how else to do it.
Posted by: OregonMuse

Add in the sine wave, divide by the decoupler, multiply the umlates, and you should come very close to the WAG.

Posted by: rickb223 at April 27, 2017 12:05 PM (gJBE5)

154 http://adamcarolla.com/kyle-reyes/

Posted by: Dang

yep.

What was funny was Carolla's butt-monkey, Brian, throwing a shit-fit when he was told he failed. He just turns into the perfect self-justifying dick that the test was designed to identify.

Posted by: weft cut-loop at April 27, 2017 12:05 PM (GgzGa)

155 148
Do you like Don Draper?

Posted by: Soothsayer -- That's class!

or Dom DeLuise?

Posted by: Rick in SK at April 27, 2017 12:05 PM (FZYNt)

156 Please define in ten words or less each:

Bang switch

Booger Hook

Giggle Switch.

Please translate:

Shit the bed

Posted by: Village Idiot's Apprentice at April 27, 2017 12:05 PM (J+eG2)

157 Yes I am a hated Baby Boomer who saved money for motorcycles and a truck, framed houses and did trim to make money for school, worked my ass off in the oilfield and have been debt free for thirty years. I'm eligible for SS and won't take it because I love my work and I'm not planning on stopping. So bite me.

Posted by: Dave at Buffalo Roam at April 27, 2017 12:05 PM (Eyx+b)

158 Certainly in my field (IT), the "working six months as contract" is pretty much the standard procedure nowadays. That way, if the candidate turns out to be a flake, they are easily disposed of. Last time I was hired outright on a job was back in the mid 1990s.

While what Oregon Muse says about the "rules" regarding what a former employer can give out about an ex-employee is true, these rules are easily circumvented and usually are. I got close to a number of my managers over the years, and heard all about it.

Thing is, when you apply for a job, most everyone requires your previous employment information, whether on the job application or your resume, including the names of your previous bosses. So what your prospective new boss will do is call your old boss, and get into a little conversation with him/her. Basically they get into a chat with your old boss, ask about you (the candidate) and it is not difficult at all to get the lowdown on the prospective hire.

To be sure, this is done discreetly, but it is not difficult. The rule of thumb is generally, if all you can get from the old boss is a stiff confirmation of his/her employment and hire dates, then most likely the candidate is bad news. On the other hand, if he/she would make a good hand, it is not difficult to find that out either.

Now is all this "against the rules"? Bet your ass. Does it still happen? All the time...

Posted by: The Oort Cloud - No-Longer-Deplorable Source of all SMODs at April 27, 2017 12:05 PM (T1H5V)

159 What if you're wearing penny loafers?
Posted by: Mary Poppins' Practically Perfect Piercing

Must have pennies in them and a pocket protector I'll wager.

Posted by: Hopped Up On Something at April 27, 2017 12:05 PM (gyL6Y)

160 I've always bypassed all that shit by offering answers to all of those questions without the prospective employer asking them. No, I am not disabled in any way. No, I have never filed a lawsuit against an employer. yes, I feel an employer should be able to hire or fire as they wish (I retain that right, as well). No, I am not regularly ill and usually take one sick day about every 2-3 years.

It makes an employer feel confident when you offer information that they know they can't ask about. If it comes down to a choice between me and someone who seems about equal to me, skill- and experience-wise, these answers will give me the edge.

Posted by: Jeffersonian at April 27, 2017 12:05 PM (+ttLq)

161 Posted by: Insomniac at April 27, 2017 11:58 AM (0mRoj)

You're an attorney, right?

Why not hang a shingle?

Posted by: Meremortal at April 27, 2017 12:06 PM (3myMJ)

162 If they do it like this, do not hire them
Posted by: Ripley

The fact you knew how to do that scares me

Posted by: Jean at April 27, 2017 12:06 PM (zZb/S)

163 144 I went on a job interview for a IT programming position in the 90s down south. The IT manager was a woman and repeatedly asked me if I had a problem working for a woman. I kept replying that I just wanted to be treated fairly. Yet I bet I was asked that question 5 times during the interview.
=========

A good reply would have been, "No, do you?"

Posted by: bicentennialguy at April 27, 2017 12:06 PM (vg8iE)

164 Early 40s
Posted by: Insomniac at April 27, 2017 12:02 PM (0mRoj)

I think you may getting to the point where age discrimination is starting to kick in.

An unfortunate fact of life is that employers typically prefer to higher younger people. And there's nothing you can do about it.

Posted by: OregonMuse, deplorable since 2004 at April 27, 2017 12:06 PM (ieXn8)

165 Can you ask if the employee would rather be considered, hot, funny or whatever the third one was? Hairy?

Posted by: TexasDan at April 27, 2017 12:06 PM (yL25O)

166 My boss is a Millennial and a Trump Man, so far every one of his hires have worked out well. I can just imagine the questions he asks in his interviews:

"What are some examples you can provide on how you would make our company great again?"
Posted by: Gaylord Farkemall at April 27, 2017 12:02 PM (bLY7

I've seen a few job postings that were obviously written by millennials trying to sound cool.

"Do you want to work for a place that has a chill atmosphere and yet a drive to dominate our industry?"

"Do you love equally pushing yourself non-stop to solve the toughest problems and pizza Fridays?"

Posted by: Colorado Alex In Exile at April 27, 2017 12:06 PM (Tnhbr)

167 A real shame as there are plenty of committed, focused young people with
a ton on student debt on their backs who can run circles around aging,
indolent, entitled Baby Boomers.

Where?

Posted by: Survey at April 27, 2017 12:07 PM (vtcmf)

168 164 Early 40s
Posted by: Insomniac at April 27, 2017 12:02 PM (0mRoj)

I think you may getting to the point where age discrimination is starting to kick in.

An unfortunate fact of life is that employers typically prefer to higher younger people. And there's nothing you can do about it.
Posted by: OregonMuse, deplorable since 2004 at April 27, 2017 12:06 PM (ieXn

Probably so. I'm also male, which is another strike.

Posted by: Insomniac at April 27, 2017 12:07 PM (0mRoj)

169 101 Another interview, I was asked how to get exactly 4 cups of water if all I had was a 5-cup container and a 3-cup container (and all the water I needed from some other source).

Providentially, I had seen this problem before, so I was able to reproduce it from memory.

Didn't get the job, though.
Posted by: OregonMuse, deplorable since 2004 at April 27, 2017 11:52 AM (ieXn

Just fill up both and tell him you just doubled the company's production.

Posted by: Jack Sock at April 27, 2017 12:07 PM (osuON)

170 "What is your greatest weakness?"

"Giving snarky answers to stupid questions asked by idiots."

--Excerpt from "Satisfying Yet Inappropriate Answers"

Posted by: Brother Cavil, keeper of the Deplorable Unicode Character at April 27, 2017 12:07 PM (9krrF)

171 No, but not hideous either.

Posted by: Insomniac at April 27, 2017 12:04 PM (0mRoj)

Good. You'll be perfect for my new start-up, it's a combo Uber type cab service with male escort capability.

My people will call your people, this will be a win-win!

Posted by: kallisto at April 27, 2017 12:07 PM (kD8Fh)

172 A favourite interview question of mine:

Have you ever sucked a cock you didn't like?

Posted by: B.Obama at April 27, 2017 12:07 PM (FZYNt)

173 161 Posted by: Insomniac at April 27, 2017 11:58 AM (0mRoj)

You're an attorney, right?

Why not hang a shingle?
Posted by: Meremortal at April 27, 2017 12:06 PM (3myMJ)

Because I'm a shit marketer and salesman.

Posted by: Insomniac at April 27, 2017 12:07 PM (0mRoj)

174 My dad worked for JCPenney and he said one the old codgers would take a prospective employee to lunch and if the person put salt or pepper on their food before they tasted it, he wouldn't hire them. It was because they showed they did things out of habit.

Posted by: Dang at April 27, 2017 12:08 PM (8b+oT)

175 Stupid maybe but it works for me:

Weak handshakes - typically a weak mind
Wont look you in the eye when speaking - weak character
Cannot speak coherently - Er ah uhm are their favorite words.

Former military - Love em - mental toughness and a penchant to not bitch all the time.

None verbal queues, foe me, are a good way of telling basic personality.

Posted by: fox at April 27, 2017 12:08 PM (kENHD)

176 An unfortunate fact of life is that employers typically prefer to higher younger people.

I don't mind higher older people, either. A nice 6' 5" Christina Hendricks-type would be just fine with me.

The altitude's good for my asthma.

Posted by: Mary Poppins' Practically Perfect Piercing at April 27, 2017 12:08 PM (X6fMO)

177 171 No, but not hideous either.

Posted by: Insomniac at April 27, 2017 12:04 PM (0mRoj)

Good. You'll be perfect for my new start-up, it's a combo Uber type cab service with male escort capability.

My people will call your people, this will be a win-win!
Posted by: kallisto at April 27, 2017 12:07 PM (kD8Fh)

Hmmm. I'll have to get back in shape. Throw in gym and training expenses and I'll think about it.

Posted by: Insomniac at April 27, 2017 12:09 PM (0mRoj)

178 164 Early 40s
Posted by: Insomniac at April 27, 2017 12:02 PM (0mRoj)

I got laid off on my 40th birthday.

Totally different world interviewing on the plus side of 40 than before.

Some say you should downplay (remove) dates in your resume that indicate your age. I find that hard to do but that advice is out there.

Posted by: TexasDan at April 27, 2017 12:09 PM (yL25O)

179 "Probably so. I'm also male, which is another strike."

Time to break out some of that White Privilege.

Assuming that you self identify as white.

Posted by: Village Idiot's Apprentice at April 27, 2017 12:09 PM (J+eG2)

180 152 I went on a job interview for a IT programming position in the 90s down south. The IT manager was a woman and repeatedly asked me if I had a problem working for a woman. I kept replying that I just wanted to be treated fairly. Yet I bet I was asked that question 5 times during the interview.

Posted by: Our Country is Screwed

I got that question in an interview once. I told them it would bother me if the woman didn't know what she was doing. Later on, after I was hired, she told me she liked my answer.

Posted by: OregonMuse, deplorable since 2004 at April 27, 2017 12:09 PM (ieXn8)

181 Whatever's going on with hiring these days, it's keeping me in the cold.
Posted by: Insomniac at April 27, 2017 11:58 AM

--

Did you try the black hose and pumps trick posted above?

Posted by: Vashta Nerada at April 27, 2017 12:10 PM (7ZVPa)

182 I have several openings.

Posted by: Harry Reid's three dollar day care and spa at April 27, 2017 12:10 PM (Rduxz)

183 http://adamcarolla.com/kyle-reyes/

Posted by: Dang

yep.

What was funny was Carolla's butt-monkey, Brian, throwing a shit-fit
when he was told he failed. He just turns into the perfect
self-justifying dick that the test was designed to identify.

Posted by: weft cut-loop
-----
He just kept digging that hole deeper and deeper.

Posted by: Dang at April 27, 2017 12:10 PM (8b+oT)

184 You can still ask about how someone would handle a situation in an interview.

Just ask what a person would do if Ann Coulter and Rush Limbaugh showed up together at the office and asked for a donation. That should trigger out the chaff from the wheat.

Posted by: Roy at April 27, 2017 12:10 PM (7n4KQ)

185 Newly minted college grads have straight up told him
they will not work weekends or late. Despite having a degree that they
knew was for an industry that runs 24/7. Also want several weeks of
vacation to start and will not answer phone for work.

The snowflake generation, coddled by parents, teachers, soccer coaches and college.

We reap what we sow.

Posted by: Jen at April 27, 2017 12:01 PM (YZ5sm)

My little brother said the same thing. 40 hour work weeks, day shift only, no travel, and they want to start at $100K/year.

Posted by: Vic We Have No Party at April 27, 2017 12:10 PM (mpXpK)

186 167 A real shame as there are plenty of committed, focused young people with a ton on student debt on their backs who can run circles around aging, indolent, entitled Baby Boomers.

Just a quick clarification for 2017, but aren't the Boomers retiring now? And the Generation Xers in midlife?

Posted by: Curmudgeon at April 27, 2017 12:10 PM (ujg0T)

187 A real shame as there are plenty of committed, focused young people with
a ton on student debt on their backs who can run circles around aging,
indolent, entitled Baby Boomers.

Well, I haven't met one yet, and I've been around for awhile.

Posted by: Witchdoktor, AKA VA GOP Sucks at April 27, 2017 12:10 PM (PFy0L)

188 Another interview, I was asked how to get exactly 4 cups of water if all I had was a 5-cup container and a 3-cup container (and all the water I needed from some other source).

1. Fill the five cup container.
2. Fill the three cup container from the fiver.
3. Dump out the three, pour remaining water from fiver to three.
4. Fill fiver, then use it to completely fill the three. The fiver how contains four cups.
5. Hunt down and beat the stupid f*** who couldn't be bothered to make sure you had the right tools for the job.

Posted by: Brother Cavil, keeper of the Deplorable Unicode Character at April 27, 2017 12:10 PM (9krrF)

189 181 Whatever's going on with hiring these days, it's keeping me in the cold.
Posted by: Insomniac at April 27, 2017 11:58 AM

--

Did you try the black hose and pumps trick posted above?
Posted by: Vashta Nerada

pop a Viagra and see what touches the wall first

Posted by: Rick in SK at April 27, 2017 12:10 PM (FZYNt)

190
I wished I had interviewed with you back in the day!

I remember one interview where they gave me the standard touchy feely questions.

They asked me about wage and salary expectations...
Posted by: Curmudgeon at April 27, 2017 11:50 AM (ujg0T)

I used to sit quiet and analyze while the owner/my mentor interviewed, then he would say "Baloney, do you have any questions?"

I would only ask "how much do you want to make?"
One of my favorite and most successful hires was the girl that replied "I want to make $100,000 per year. I want your job. I want you to have his job."

I said. "I'm done here boss. You know my answer" and walked out. She started the next day.

*remember, I was hiring for sales. And potential new managers.

Posted by: Fried Baloney Sandwich at April 27, 2017 12:11 PM (lalCH)

191 Please define in ten words or less each:

Bang switch

Booger Hook

Giggle Switch.

Please translate:

Shit the bed

Posted by: Village Idiot's Apprentice

Explain, without a diagram, how a sear works.

Posted by: Jean at April 27, 2017 12:11 PM (zZb/S)

192 152
I went on a job interview for a IT programming position in the 90s down
south. The IT manager was a woman and repeatedly asked me if I had a
problem working for a woman. I kept replying that I just wanted to be
treated fairly. Yet I bet I was asked that question 5 times during the
interview.

Posted by: Our Country is Screwed

I guess an answer like: "most of the month, no problem" wouldn't have worked

Posted by: Jean at April 27, 2017 12:05 PM (zZb/S)

Oh, I could have SO used that line. I knew I wasn't going to get (or even take) the job 5 minutes in anyways.

Golf clap.

Posted by: Our Country is Screwed at April 27, 2017 12:11 PM (jxbfJ)

193 Another interview, I was asked how to get exactly 4 cups of water if all I had was a 5-cup container and a 3-cup container (and all the water I needed from some other source).

Providentially, I had seen this problem before, so I was able to reproduce it from memory.

Didn't get the job, though.

Posted by: OregonMuse, deplorable since 2004 at April 27, 2017 11:52 AM (ieXn

I was once asked some very complicated question about convertible bonds if this then this so what about this scenario. That was after he spent a considerable amount of time telling me about his time playing football at Northwestern. What a shitty waste of time interview that was

Posted by: TheQuietMan at April 27, 2017 12:11 PM (493sH)

194 My parents are pretty active in their parish and a few years ago were looking for a new youth minister and my mother was on the panel that was doing the interviews. She had never done anything like that before and was having trouble coming up with questions to ask the person. I told her to ask the question "if the zombie apocolypse happens right now, what's your survival plan?" Since the kind of person you want as the church youth minister is quick enough on their heels to at least come up with a good answer to a silly question like that.

Posted by: joe, living dangerously at April 27, 2017 12:11 PM (KUaJL)

195 Because I'm a shit marketer and salesman.
Posted by: Insomniac at April 27, 2017 12:07 PM (0mRoj)

I can't agree with the poor salesman part, given your comment record. We all sell ourselves day in and day out, in fact that's most of we do in life. And you've done that quite well around here.

As for marketing, that's just a learned skill. You passed the bar, marketing is kindergarten compared to that.

Posted by: Meremortal at April 27, 2017 12:11 PM (3myMJ)

196 181 Whatever's going on with hiring these days, it's keeping me in the cold.
Posted by: Insomniac at April 27, 2017 11:58 AM

--

Did you try the black hose and pumps trick posted above?
Posted by: Vashta Nerada at April 27, 2017 12:10 PM (7ZVPa)

Something tells me that wouldn't have the desired effect. Imagine an extra from Braveheart in black hose and pumps.

Posted by: Insomniac at April 27, 2017 12:12 PM (0mRoj)

197 I'm not defending the stupid system of complete stupidity, I'm merely noting that it's stupid, stupid, stupid.

Stulta lex, sed lex.

Posted by: Marcus Tullius Cicero at April 27, 2017 12:13 PM (QS5Nz)

198 Anyone ever been asked in an interview if they can lick their eyebrows?

Posted by: Roy at April 27, 2017 12:13 PM (7n4KQ)

199 1. Fill the five cup container.
2. Fill the three cup container from the fiver.
3. Dump out the three, pour remaining water from fiver to three.
4. Fill fiver, then use it to completely fill the three. The fiver how contains four cups.
5. Hunt down and beat the stupid f*** who couldn't be bothered to make sure you had the right tools for the job.
Posted by: Brother Cavil, keeper of the Deplorable Unicode Character at April 27, 2017 12:10 PM (9krrF)

I think the right answer has to do with filling them alternately with beer and drinking them until you forget what the question was.

Posted by: TexasDan at April 27, 2017 12:13 PM (yL25O)

200 I'm hiring

Posted by: The Barrel at April 27, 2017 12:13 PM (FZYNt)

201 Interviews in the Barrel in 5 minutes

Posted by: Roy at April 27, 2017 12:13 PM (7n4KQ)

202 Semper ubi sub ubi.

Posted by: Marcus Tullius Cicero at April 27, 2017 12:14 PM (QS5Nz)

203 Sort of weird, Teh Donald's Twitter today is all about bashing the Dems for threatening to "endanger our troops" and even shutting down Nat. Parks right before summer vacation season.

Weird because I thought the (ill-advised, risky) cave on border barrier funding had removed the "shut-down" theater "threat"?

But also because it indicates no awareness of how a "shut-down", run by Trump, could be a spectacular weapon to use against the Dems and the govt-obsessed media themselves.

It's too much to hope that the Dems, in their desperation and delusion, will do a "shut-down" regardless of the underlying issues, as a stunt, thereby giving the WH a second chance to realize that politics are what is needed, not what is to be avoided.

Posted by: rhomboid at April 27, 2017 12:14 PM (+wjl1)

204 Not interview related but I always liked the statement used by some motivational speaker named Brown about his hated job at Sears and being in a rut.

'They paid me just enough to keep me from quitting and I was working just hard enough to keep from being fired. '

Posted by: Jack Sock at April 27, 2017 12:14 PM (osuON)

205 The Barrel knocks.

Posted by: TexasDan at April 27, 2017 12:14 PM (yL25O)

206 "define: shit the bed"

Indiana Pacers

Posted by: Boulder terlit hobo at April 27, 2017 12:14 PM (Su6wb)

207 My little brother said the same thing. 40 hour work weeks, day shift only, no travel, and they want to start at $100K/year.
Posted by: Vic We Have No Party

Took me 28 years to get there and I'm not close to the $100k.

Posted by: rickb223 at April 27, 2017 12:14 PM (gJBE5)

208 Just a quick clarification for 2017, but aren't the Boomers retiring now? And the Generation Xers in midlife?

Posted by: Curmudgeon at April 27, 2017 12:10 PM (ujg0T)

Yes.

Posted by: Insomniac at April 27, 2017 12:14 PM (0mRoj)

209 I find the quality of the average resume we get to be absolute garbage. It seems like there is an inordinately high number of people who apply for any job ad, regardless of field or qualifications.

Advertised once for an Assistant Project Manager; one of the resumes we received was from someone who worked as a hostess at a Red Lobster and was a wedding consultant. They had in large font at the top of their resume "Entrepreneur" as their job title; except they misspelled Entrepreneur. Ugh.

We had asked HR to send us all resumes they received, because we were skeptical as to how they were screening them, since initially we were getting so few. After that one, I went and apologized!

Posted by: Pete at April 27, 2017 12:14 PM (t0Pqn)

210
hahahaha,

the latest "if Chevy real life people commercials were real" vid:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rZKUbzAdb7E

Posted by: Soothsayer -- That's class! at April 27, 2017 12:14 PM (HjTzR)

211 Huh. A college friend of mine opened up a consultancy back when, and on the Employment page of the website, applicants were advised that "potential employees who are considering work with us should understand that we employ very assertive personality types, and must be comfortable working in an environment where candor is encouraged."

I remember thinking, yep, he was a pretty assertive, tough, smart guy in college. He'll likely do well with his firm.

Posted by: General Zod at April 27, 2017 12:14 PM (Bdeb0)

212 Well, I haven't met one yet, and I've been around for awhile.

Yep. Just finished one week of interviewing young candidates for a nice entry-level tech position. The result? Big goose egg, so far.

Posted by: Survey at April 27, 2017 12:14 PM (vtcmf)

213 Anyone ever been asked in an interview if they can lick their eyebrows?
-----
Yes. I let her lick my eyebrows. Kinda weird.

Posted by: Dang at April 27, 2017 12:14 PM (8b+oT)

214 Does the Barrel offer a 401-k program?

Posted by: Meremortal at April 27, 2017 12:14 PM (3myMJ)

215 "define: shit the bed"

Indiana Pacers

Cleveland Indians.

Posted by: rickb223 at April 27, 2017 12:15 PM (gJBE5)

216 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rZKUbzAdb7E

Posted by: Soothsayer
-----
Just watched that! Love those!

Posted by: Dang at April 27, 2017 12:15 PM (8b+oT)

217 "What is your greatest weakness?"

"Giving snarky answers to stupid questions asked by idiots."

--Excerpt from "Satisfying Yet Inappropriate Answers"
Posted by: Brother Cavil, keeper of the Deplorable Unicode Character

"Low tolerance for hackneyed questions from last century, ma'am."

Posted by: weft cut-loop at April 27, 2017 12:15 PM (GgzGa)

218 Looks like someone nailed Cicero' s hands and tongue to the Barrel

Posted by: Boulder terlit hobo at April 27, 2017 12:15 PM (Su6wb)

219 >>I heard this guy on Adam Corolla's podcast and he said when he mentions to the job applicants that they'll have to take a test, a lot of them just opt out.

My plumber told me that whenever they had someone call them looking for work, they would say "drug test" and not one of them would be interested.

Posted by: Mama AJ at April 27, 2017 12:15 PM (wwL6Q)

220 And, as I predicted... Jessie Waters on 'vacation' after the Ivanka comment and outrage...

Bill O prot�g�.... he's gone... he just does not know it yet...

Posted by: Don Q. at April 27, 2017 12:15 PM (NgKpN)

221
"2015 Award for the Most Made Up Awards"

Posted by: Soothsayer -- That's class! at April 27, 2017 12:16 PM (HjTzR)

222 Posted by: rhomboid at April 27, 2017 12:14 PM (+wjl1)

He's pulling their chain, his favorite pastime.

Posted by: Meremortal at April 27, 2017 12:16 PM (3myMJ)

223 As for marketing, that's just a learned skill. You passed the bar, marketing is kindergarten compared to that.
Posted by: Meremortal at April 27, 2017 12:11 PM (3myMJ)

Probably, but it's one I've never learned.

Posted by: Insomniac at April 27, 2017 12:16 PM (0mRoj)

224 >>215
"define: shit the bed"

Buccaneers, creamsicle era.

Posted by: General Zod at April 27, 2017 12:16 PM (Bdeb0)

225
"It's Amazing Your Marketing Team Hasn't Been Fired Yet Award"

Posted by: Soothsayer -- That's class! at April 27, 2017 12:16 PM (HjTzR)

226 Just a quick clarification for 2017, but aren't the Boomers retiring now? And the Generation Xers in midlife?

Posted by: Curmudgeon

10.5 years until I hit 65.

Posted by: rickb223 at April 27, 2017 12:16 PM (gJBE5)

227 We really shit the bed.

Posted by: Atlanta Falcons at April 27, 2017 12:17 PM (fAZRN)

228 217 "What is your greatest weakness?"

"Giving snarky answers to stupid questions asked by idiots."

--Excerpt from "Satisfying Yet Inappropriate Answers"
Posted by: Brother Cavil, keeper of the Deplorable Unicode Character

"Low tolerance for hackneyed questions from last century, ma'am."
Posted by: weft cut-loop at April 27, 2017 12:15 PM (GgzGa)

"I have none.... oh... wait... can I change that? I guess its my humility'....

Posted by: Don Q. at April 27, 2017 12:17 PM (NgKpN)

229 I use a team-panel approach for my interviews. One person focuses on the candidate's technical skills, one person focuses on the candidate's interpersonal skills, and one concentrates on the candidate's history and likelihood of achieving development goals.

I've done something like that, except in a series of one-on-one interviews with me not present. I've had candidates ask subordinates whether I made them work hard, or other questions that implied that they were slackers. One-on-one - outside of the boss's presence - candidates will oftentimes relate to a subordinate as a peer and try to get the lowdown on how to game the boss.

Posted by: Deplorable Jay Guevara at April 27, 2017 12:17 PM (SRKgf)

230 I didn't make it to the bed.

Posted by: Al Roker at April 27, 2017 12:18 PM (8b+oT)

231 >>In fairness, 25 or more years ago they were saying all the same about us Generation X grads, right?

There's a difference, though - and maybe this is because I'm Gen X.
Gen X wanted the yuppie lifestyle, for sure, but there was still an awareness that to get that corner office, title and beemer you had to work, work, work.

The problem my bro is reporting is that they want all these perks, but they also throw in that they want to only work 40 hours, they want to "make a difference" in the world (i.e. the job must have meaning beyond making the co. successful), they want enough vacation time so that they do that 3 week eco-tour through South America, etc.

Posted by: Lizzy at April 27, 2017 12:18 PM (NOIQH)

232 We have excellent inter-views! Stop by and see for yourself.

Posted by: Harry Reid's three dollar day care and spa at April 27, 2017 12:18 PM (Rduxz)

233
I love those spoofs on those Chevy ads because they are right on the mark.

Corporate Greed, Fascism, and Stupid People = TV ads today

Posted by: Soothsayer -- That's class! at April 27, 2017 12:19 PM (HjTzR)

234 We really shit the bed.
Posted by: Atlanta Falcons

You? 13 & 3.
Posted by: Dallas Cowboys

Posted by: rickb223 at April 27, 2017 12:19 PM (gJBE5)

235 The correct question will determine the correct candidate, regardless of the answer. For example, a question about the disassembly for cleaning procedure, or better yet -a demonstration - of one of your common Earth small arms systems. An AR would suffice.

Posted by: Master Bra'tak of Chulak at April 27, 2017 12:19 PM (RKCC1)

236 Another interview, I was asked how to get exactly 4 cups of water if all
I had was a 5-cup container and a 3-cup container (and all the water I
needed from some other source).

Providentially, I had seen this problem before, so I was able to reproduce it from memory.
>>>

I solved that one in Die Hard With a Vengeance.

Posted by: Samuel L. Jackson at April 27, 2017 12:19 PM (tf9Ne)

237 Related:

http://tinyurl.com/mc62rm4

Typo, complete lack of awareness of the significance of the name of the person to whom she spoke, and just general snowflakiness.

Which is a word.

Or should be.

Posted by: Mama AJ at April 27, 2017 12:19 PM (wwL6Q)

238 101 Another interview, I was asked how to get exactly 4 cups of water if all I had was a 5-cup container and a 3-cup container (and all the water I needed from some other source).

Providentially, I had seen this problem before, so I was able to reproduce it from memory.

Didn't get the job, though.
Posted by: OregonMuse, deplorable since 2004 at April 27, 2017 11:52 AM (ieXn

Didn't Bruce Willis and Sam Jackson solve this problem in one of the Die Hard movies?

Posted by: Fried Baloney Sandwich at April 27, 2017 12:20 PM (lalCH)

239
Isn't that what CBS is like with their promos telling us about their "#1 Comedy"?

Or the media and hollywood giving each other fake awards.

Posted by: Soothsayer -- That's class! at April 27, 2017 12:20 PM (HjTzR)

240 The problem my bro is reporting is that they want all these perks, but they also throw in that they want to only work 40 hours, they want to "make a difference" in the world (i.e. the job must have meaning beyond making the co. successful), they want enough vacation time so that they do that 3 week eco-tour through South America, etc.
Posted by: Lizzy

From day 1.

Posted by: rickb223 at April 27, 2017 12:20 PM (gJBE5)

241 On one of my job interviews, we had a written test (for a QA position, not sure if that matters) and one of the last questions was to tell the interviewee to write their name in an unlabeled box on the page.

That was there to weed out people who don't actually read all the directions.

Strange how many people failed that one.

We also had one question on the test asking you to write out the number 500 in binary.

Posted by: Mark Andrew Edwards at April 27, 2017 12:21 PM (6KsvZ)

242 Heh....I used to weed out the bad apples without too much trouble.

'He's/she's a Westerner.'

That usually did the trick.

Posted by: Your Decidedly Devious Uncle Palpatine. Glory to Kekistan! No Longer Accepting Harem Applicants at April 27, 2017 12:21 PM (TwwWO)

243 I always shit the bed.

Posted by: Jason Garrett at April 27, 2017 12:21 PM (fAZRN)

244 190
I would only ask "how much do you want to make?"

One of my favorite and most successful hires was the girl that
replied "I want to make $100,000 per year. I want your job. I want you
to have his job."

I said. "I'm done here boss. You know my answer" and walked out. She started the next day.

*remember, I was hiring for sales. And potential new managers.

Posted by: Fried Baloney Sandwich at April 27, 2017 12:11 PM (lalCH)

Related: the CFO where I once worked took my boss and I out for dinner. He asked me where I saw myself in 5 years. I told him I wanted my boss' job.
The CFO complimented me on my answer. My boss however wasn't impressed which led to a long discussion between the CFO and him lasting the rest of the night. CFO said he didn't want people working for him that didn't want his job.

Posted by: Our Country is Screwed at April 27, 2017 12:21 PM (jxbfJ)

245 They can comes to Brattleboro because we are a city of love and loves everyone of all coolers except those who voted for Trump. Trump lied and persons of cooler have diesd !!!!

Posted by: Mary Clogginstien from Brattleboro, VT at April 27, 2017 12:22 PM (WmgTn)

246 Someone mentioned the eye contact being important. Seems like it's gone the way of the dodo.

Posted by: Survey at April 27, 2017 12:22 PM (vtcmf)

247 For that last question, I wrote "The number 500 in binary".

I didn't make the cut in that interview but they called me back and hired me for the next opening they had.

It was the 'wrong' answer but I at least could follow directions.

Posted by: Mark Andrew Edwards at April 27, 2017 12:22 PM (6KsvZ)

248 I've even tried to get in at lower-level positions, and no dice. Really? You don't want a guy at my level of experience at a steep discount? What the fuck is so wrong about me?

Posted by: Insomniac at April 27, 2017 12:22 PM (0mRoj)

249 It's all about race. Certain races do poorly on certain tests/prequalifications.

Posted by: Taco Shack at April 27, 2017 12:22 PM (C+qQ0)

250 10.5 years until I hit 65.
Posted by: rickb223 at April 27, 2017 12:16 PM (gJBE5)

Born late '62?

Born late '67 myself.

Posted by: Curmudgeon at April 27, 2017 12:23 PM (ujg0T)

251 "What is your greatest weakness?"
-----
The fact that I'm still sitting here.

Posted by: Dang at April 27, 2017 12:23 PM (8b+oT)

252 I got my current job when the owner of the company I used to work for, who had early-retired, came out of retirement, bought a new company doing the same thing the old one did, and started calling his old employees to see if we were interested in coming back to work for him.

His timing couldn't have been better, as my asshole employer was about to eliminate my department and I was bound for either unemployment or a big step down.

No interview, no resume, no nothing but a phone call. After 10 years with him before, he knew what he was getting with me. That's why he called me.

Easiest job I ever got, and the timing was so serendipitous.

The lesson to be learned is: always do your best and never burn any bridges because you just never know.

Posted by: WhatWhatWhat? at April 27, 2017 12:23 PM (s/EUv)

253 Probably, but it's one I've never learned.

Posted by: Insomniac at April 27, 2017 12:16 PM (0mRoj)

Cool, cause it can be done on the fly, seriously.

I watched basic idiots become very successful just due to a little marketing and being relentless. They literally didn't know how crappy they were, so being crappy didn't stop them.

And you aren't crappy, I'll wager.

Posted by: Meremortal at April 27, 2017 12:24 PM (3myMJ)

254 and you can guarantee that everyone gets hired by the government. that is why we be where we are. because along with hiring everyone, they can not fire anyone. in time, the good workers get fed up and leave. guess who we got now.

Posted by: arbitrary turn back at April 27, 2017 12:24 PM (8RQER)

255 >>Born late '67 myself. Posted by: Curmudgeon at April 27, 2017 12:23 PM (ujg0T)

That was when The Best were born.

Posted by: General Zod at April 27, 2017 12:25 PM (Bdeb0)

256 76 70 A previous employer CAN answer this question:

Would you rehire this person again?
Posted by: Chi-Town Jerry at April 27, 2017 11:44 AM (so+oy)

I assume responding with derisive laughter gives all the information necessary.
Posted by: joncelli, Longbow Afficianado and Phalangist at April 27, 2017 11:46 AM (RD7QR)

The lawsuit-proof way to answer this and similar questions: long pauses before answering.

"Would you hire this person again?"

Longggggg pause. "Uh ... yes."

Any experienced manager will know to disregard whatever was said after the pause, which spoke volumes.

Posted by: Deplorable Jay Guevara at April 27, 2017 12:25 PM (SRKgf)

257 And you aren't crappy, I'll wager.
Posted by: Meremortal at April 27, 2017 12:24 PM (3myMJ)

I'm not, but apparently it doesn't matter.

Posted by: Insomniac at April 27, 2017 12:25 PM (0mRoj)

258 my greatest weakness?

not being modest about my skill base and w*rk ethic...

either that or always wanting to buy just *one* moar firearm.

when do i start?

Posted by: redc1c4 at April 27, 2017 12:25 PM (6nKtQ)

259 I've even tried to get in at lower-level positions, and no dice. Really?
You don't want a guy at my level of experience at a steep discount?
What the fuck is so wrong about me?

I have friends in the same boat. Several told me that they were told that they weren't a "good fit" with respect the company's "culture". I told them to be thankful.

Posted by: Survey at April 27, 2017 12:26 PM (vtcmf)

260 "I'm not into neckties." Yep, honestly.

"Thanks for coming in."

Posted by: General Zod at April 27, 2017 12:26 PM (Bdeb0)

261 The correct answer to the question regard the volume of the Washington Monument: 42...

Posted by: browndog at April 27, 2017 12:26 PM (bGMOs)

262 "What is your greatest weakness?"

------

I got that question once.

"Low tolerance for stupidity. I will call it out."

I got the job.

Posted by: fixerupper at April 27, 2017 12:26 PM (8XRCm)

263 Red Bull CEO attacks multi-culti PC nonsense:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0Hyc7ohFGrU

Posted by: kallisto at April 27, 2017 12:27 PM (kD8Fh)

264 My biggest weakness is crappy rubber bands, you could put someone's eye out!

Posted by: Harry Reid's three dollar day care and spa at April 27, 2017 12:27 PM (Rduxz)

265 There's a difference, though - and maybe this is because I'm Gen X.
Gen X wanted the yuppie lifestyle, for sure, but there was still an awareness that to get that corner office, title and beemer you had to work, work, work.

I am too, and I get that.

We were often woefully unprepared by our educations, and we often woefully underestimated the amount of guff we would have to take, but we didn't expect it handed to us.

But I do remember being told how unprepared, soft, not bright enough, etc., we allegedly were. And this criticism was coming from "Boomer" fucks who did all kinds of nonsense in the 1970's but somehow were never called on it.

Posted by: Curmudgeon at April 27, 2017 12:27 PM (ujg0T)

266 Cousin was shot by her POS husband. Critical but stable condition.

How's your day going

Posted by: RWC - Team BOHICA at April 27, 2017 12:27 PM (2x9LM)

267 227
We really shit the bed.

Posted by: Atlanta Falcons at April 27, 2017 12:17 PM (fAZRN)

And you choked more than Aaron Hernandez.

Posted by: Our Country is Screwed at April 27, 2017 12:27 PM (jxbfJ)

268 " It's all about race. Certain races do poorly on certain tests/prequalifications."

????

Posted by: The NBA at April 27, 2017 12:27 PM (J+eG2)

269 260. 'Well, you can always use your belt or shoelaces to hang yourself....'

Posted by: Your Decidedly Devious Uncle Palpatine. Glory to Kekistan! No Longer Accepting Harem Applicants at April 27, 2017 12:27 PM (TwwWO)

270 Yep. Just finished one week of interviewing young candidates for a nice entry-level tech position. The result? Big goose egg, so far.

Definitely and I've seen the same. There's been such a push to get students into tech degrees who really didn't belong there. It's this crappy mix of entitlement and ineptitude.

Posted by: Witchdoktor, AKA VA GOP Sucks at April 27, 2017 12:27 PM (PFy0L)

271 Born late '67 myself. Posted by: Curmudgeon at April 27, 2017 12:23 PM (ujg0T)

----

You.... Sonny.... can get offa my grass.

Posted by: fixerupper at April 27, 2017 12:28 PM (8XRCm)

272 I've even tried to get in at lower-level positions, and no dice.
Posted by: Insomniac at April 27, 2017 12:22 PM (0mRoj)

Yeah, I've heard about that problem. Bosses worry that there's something wrong with people who are after a job when they are over-qualified for it. They think you are looking for a place-holder job and will leave when something better comes along, or that you lack confidence.

Posted by: Meremortal at April 27, 2017 12:28 PM (3myMJ)

273 Late morning for me, even missed the pretty art. Dang.

I used to get the strength/weaknesses question all the time. My response was always 'my sense of humor' -- good in that I am tolerant and easygoing, bad in that I might be laughing out loud or rolling my eyes. One job I was interviewing for got to the third round and individuals. I had that job: then I got a gracious note saying they were 'going in another direction'. The division was moved waaaay out of my geographical area. One of the few times they were literally correct (at least I got a nice note).

Posted by: mustbequantum at April 27, 2017 12:29 PM (MIKMs)

274 260 "I'm not into neckties." Yep, honestly.

"Thanks for coming in."
Posted by: General Zod at April 27, 2017 12:26 PM (Bdeb0)

They are actually saying "I'm not into employment." (Assuming they're not IT. Different rules for them.)

Posted by: joncelli, Longbow Afficianado and Phalangist at April 27, 2017 12:29 PM (RD7QR)

275 isomniac.....do temp work...

Posted by: phoenixgirl... at April 27, 2017 12:29 PM (0O7c5)

276 The right clothes are very important for a job interview

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YnXPGF0pvJU

Posted by: josephistan at April 27, 2017 12:29 PM (7HtZB)

277 The most important attribute anyone can bring is personal integrity. Just doing the right thing every time, every situation. We can train you for everything else.

Posted by: Dave at Buffalo Roam at April 27, 2017 12:29 PM (Eyx+b)

278 "You.... Sonny.... can get offa my grass."

*fist bump*

Posted by: Village Idiot's Apprentice at April 27, 2017 12:29 PM (J+eG2)

279 More than half the time the SJWs out themselves on their resumes. That and Facebook.

"President of your Students for Palestine Chapter, really?"

Posted by: xnycpeasant at April 27, 2017 12:31 PM (m9wUQ)

280 Something tells me that wouldn't have the desired effect. Imagine an extra from Braveheart in black hose and pumps.
Posted by: Insomniac

so try blue paint and a kilt. I got hired as an intern in my kilt hanging around after parade as a freshman in college, wasn't even looking for work, just wanted to survive to spring break

Posted by: Jean at April 27, 2017 12:31 PM (zZb/S)

281 I've even tried to get in at lower-level positions, and no dice. Really? You don't want a guy at my level of experience at a steep discount? What the fuck is so wrong about me?

It isn't you. It's a bias on the employer. I had a very experienced person apply for an entry level spot on my team. He undoubtedly had a brain, but the concern from the others on the panel was that he would just park there for a year while he continued his job search, and we needed someone who would grow with the organization and have a future.

It sucks and it's unfair, I know. For experienced and skilled people the job market has really been damaged.

Posted by: Witchdoktor, AKA VA GOP Sucks at April 27, 2017 12:31 PM (PFy0L)

282 There must be something connecting us to Zip's place.

http://www.weaselzippers.us/?p=336088

Posted by: Village Idiot's Apprentice at April 27, 2017 12:32 PM (J+eG2)

283 You.... Sonny.... can get offa my grass.
Posted by: fixerupper at April 27, 2017 12:28 PM (8XRCm)

THANK YOU. I work with a bunch of 20ish whippersnappers who make me feel like and old man.

Posted by: Curmudgeon at April 27, 2017 12:32 PM (ujg0T)

284 You can wear your neck tie anywhere you like here at the spa, and for three dollars we will take care of you for the day.

Posted by: Harry Reid's three dollar day care and spa at April 27, 2017 12:32 PM (Rduxz)

285 255
>>Born late '67 myself. Posted by: Curmudgeon at April 27, 2017 12:23 PM (ujg0T)

That was when The Best were born.

Posted by: General Zod at April 27, 2017 12:25 PM (Bdeb0)

66 here. Could have been born in '67, but I went on the honeymoon with my father and came home with my mother.

Posted by: Our Country is Screwed at April 27, 2017 12:32 PM (jxbfJ)

286 Cousin was shot by her POS husband. Critical but stable condition.

!
?
WTF?

Prayers up.

Posted by: Mary Poppins' Practically Perfect Piercing at April 27, 2017 12:32 PM (X6fMO)

287 The right clothes are very important for a job interview

-------

I had a kid show up to an interview once wearing sandals and a Led Zeppelin shirt.

This was for a retail position. I said, "Son, lets not waste any time here. I dont think you're going to be a good fit here. Thanks for coming in tho."

He said "You dick!! I got dressed up for this!"

Posted by: fixerupper at April 27, 2017 12:33 PM (8XRCm)

288 The right clothes are very important for a job interview

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YnXPGF0pvJU

Posted by: josephistan at April 27, 2017 12:29 PM (7HtZB)

I had a recruiting firm tell me that had to physically see people before they sent them to a company for an interview. The reason? After they sent someone to an interview they called the company to ask how it went. They company said it would have been nice if he knew how to dress for an interview and a shower and shave would have helped too.

Posted by: TheQuietMan at April 27, 2017 12:33 PM (493sH)

289 66 here. Could have been born in '67, but I went on the honeymoon with my father and came home with my mother.
Posted by: Our Country is Screwed

better than getting spit in the sink

Posted by: Rick in SK at April 27, 2017 12:33 PM (FZYNt)

290 Right to work state + 90 day probation period + no air conditioning. Snowflakes usually don't survive the first day.

Posted by: Texas Meatball at April 27, 2017 12:33 PM (Re/7S)

291 The most important attribute anyone can bring is personal integrity. Just doing the right thing every time, every situation.
==========

I can't argue with that.

Posted by: Hillary Clinton at April 27, 2017 12:33 PM (vg8iE)

292 182 I have several openings.
Posted by: Harry Reid's three dollar day care and spa at April 27, 2017 12:10 PM (Rduxz)

Same here.

Posted by: Sandra Fluke at April 27, 2017 12:33 PM (SRKgf)

293 Posted by: Insomniac at April 27, 2017 12:25 PM (0mRoj)

I wasn't crappy either, but I was working in real estate sales and making a pittance. Then I started studying "ninja marketing". It was different from typical "I'm The Greatest" marketing and it worked for my personality type.

It's kinda like musicians used to tell me..."Most player's main problem is they haven't found "their" instrument yet."

Posted by: Meremortal at April 27, 2017 12:33 PM (3myMJ)

294 Tell me about yourself using three-syllable words without the letter "e" in them.
Where do you see yourself in five years? Please be explicit about what you're wearing.

Posted by: Banana Splits Guy at April 27, 2017 12:34 PM (jHFYS)

295 Oh, this is like when our intelligence services broadcast classified information to the media and then later cry about leaks.

Our core effectiveness just to a 45% hit. I wonder why.

Posted by: Fritz at April 27, 2017 12:34 PM (2Mnv1)

296 But I do remember being told how unprepared, soft, not bright enough, etc., we allegedly were. And this criticism was coming from "Boomer" fucks who did all kinds of nonsense in the 1970's but somehow were never called on it.

"Boomer fucks" in the 70's/80's got actual hazing/harassment on the job. And it was legal.

Posted by: rickb223 at April 27, 2017 12:34 PM (gJBE5)

297 282 There must be something connecting us to Zip's place.

"The award was given to Clinton after she had spent several hours during a single day helping City Harvest put grapefruit in bags."

Wow. In a single day? This is how an entitled Princess "helps end hunger."

WT actual F, she can't write them a fcuking check, out of her millions in ill-gotten gains?

I've about had it with Princess Chelsea

Posted by: WhatWhatWhat? at April 27, 2017 12:35 PM (s/EUv)

298 Thanks MPPP.

WEST MIFFLIN (KDKA) - A man has been arrested after allegedly shooting his wife in the chest during a fight in West Mifflin.

According to police, the incident happened around 6:30 p.m. Wednesday inside a home in the 4000 block of Rossmoor Drive.

When emergency crews arrived at the scene, they found 52-year-old Karen Kadish suffering from a gunshot wound to the chest.
------

Stable at UPMC so I'm confident she'll be ok.

Posted by: RWC - Team BOHICA at April 27, 2017 12:35 PM (2x9LM)

299 Right to work state + 90 day probation period + no air conditioning.

Texas prison?

Posted by: rickb223 at April 27, 2017 12:35 PM (gJBE5)

300 The only job that I ever had to wear a tie for was bar tending. All my office based, "professional" work I rarely have had to wear a tie.

Posted by: josephistan at April 27, 2017 12:35 PM (7HtZB)

301 What is the appropriate dress for candidates now? It used to be that we were supposed to dress for the job we aspired to. But nowadays are people still dressing in suits for fields other than legal and finance?

Posted by: kallisto at April 27, 2017 12:35 PM (kD8Fh)

302 Where do you see yourself in five years?

-----

I always answered "Sitting in your chair"..... unless the interviewee was HR.

Then my answer was "Calling you to see how finding me employees is going".

Posted by: fixerupper at April 27, 2017 12:36 PM (8XRCm)

303 295 Oh, this is like when our intelligence services broadcast classified information to the media and then later cry about leaks.

Our core effectiveness just to a 45% hit. I wonder why.
============

Operating at two Sigma. That's an improvement!

Posted by: bicentennialguy at April 27, 2017 12:36 PM (vg8iE)

304 Yeah.. but did you see what he did/said?

They couldn't let that pass..

Posted by: Chi-Town Jerry

==

"I like the way she talked into the microphone."

The horror. The horror.

Posted by: Mortimer - Finish Her at April 27, 2017 12:37 PM (C52a9)

305 "Boomer fucks" in the 70's/80's got actual hazing/harassment on the job. And it was legal.
Posted by: rickb223 at April 27, 2017 12:34 PM (gJBE5)

As a kid in the 1970's, I saw the "parenting" many of them did on their kids. Granted it was Calif and they were leftists, but I gained a new appreciation for my own old folks.

Posted by: Curmudgeon at April 27, 2017 12:37 PM (ujg0T)

306 Probably, but it's one I've never learned.
Posted by: Insomniac

Nothing a week or two working a trade show couldn't fix

Posted by: Jean at April 27, 2017 12:37 PM (zZb/S)

307 279 More than half the time the SJWs out themselves on their resumes. That and Facebook.

"President of your Students for Palestine Chapter, really?"
Posted by: xnycpeasant at April 27, 2017 12:31 PM (m9wUQ)

Facebook truly is a pons asinorum to see if you're stupid enough to disclose damaging details about yourself for the world to see. People will disclose things that they'd never tell a stranger standing at their door with a clipboard.

Posted by: Sandra Fluke at April 27, 2017 12:37 PM (SRKgf)

308 Yeah, I've heard about that problem. Bosses worry that there's something wrong with people who are after a job when they are over-qualified for it. They think you are looking for a place-holder job and will leave when something better comes along, or that you lack confidence.

Posted by: Meremortal at April 27, 2017 12:28 PM (3myMJ)

I do have some confidence problems, but I don't think I project them.

Posted by: Insomniac at April 27, 2017 12:38 PM (0mRoj)

309 Posted by: Diogenes at April 27, 2017 12:35 PM (IfzXb)

It's early but Antifa is going to lose the public relations battle methinks.

Posted by: Meremortal at April 27, 2017 12:38 PM (3myMJ)

310 Snowflake Quotient = SQ = 1 / IQ.

Posted by: Steve and Cold Bear at April 27, 2017 12:38 PM (vRcUp)

311 El Nood.

Posted by: Witchdoktor, AKA VA GOP Sucks at April 27, 2017 12:39 PM (PFy0L)

312 Facebook truly is a pons asinorum to see if you're stupid enough to disclose damaging details about yourself for the world to see. People will disclose things that they'd never tell a stranger standing at their door with a clipboard.

Posted by: Sandra Fluke at April 27, 2017 12:37 PM (SRKgf)

This is actually a funny comment, when you consider the sock.

Posted by: Mary Poppins' Practically Perfect Piercing at April 27, 2017 12:40 PM (X6fMO)

313
I always wondered.

How stupid is a millennial that any prospective employer can see their FB posts?

Posted by: fixerupper at April 27, 2017 12:40 PM (8XRCm)

314 Here's another interview question I got:

"There is a pile of twelve coins, all of equal size. Eleven are of equal weight. One is of a different weight. In three weighings find the unequal coin and determine if it is heavier or lighter."

I don't think I got the answer to this one. Nor the job, for that matter.

Posted by: OregonMuse, deplorable since 2004 at April 27, 2017 12:40 PM (ieXn8)

315 Texas prison?

Sweating is noble. Snowflakes think of themselves as nobility, but don't understand this.

Posted by: Texas Meatball at April 27, 2017 12:40 PM (Re/7S)

316 I do have some confidence problems, but I don't think I project them.
Posted by: Insomniac at April 27, 2017 12:38 PM (0mRoj)

Impossible to say whether you do but as you can see from the commenters, being overqualified is a tough sell these days.

What kind of law do you like?

Posted by: Meremortal at April 27, 2017 12:40 PM (3myMJ)

317 Gonna take him a while to live this one down.

http://cbsloc.al/2p7PXfX

Posted by: Village Idiot's Apprentice at April 27, 2017 12:41 PM (J+eG2)

318 In high school, my son worked in grocery store as a bagger. When an opening became available in the produce department, a considerable step up and a little more money, he applied along with a number of other baggers. He got the job. The test? The produce manager had laid out the fruits and vegetables and one by one had the applicants identify them. Many applicants couldn't do that. Wouldn't be surprised if 10 years later, they were still baggers.

Posted by: chuckR at April 27, 2017 12:41 PM (qS1uX)

319 Impossible to say whether you do but as you can see from the commenters, being overqualified is a tough sell these days.

What kind of law do you like?
Posted by: Meremortal at April 27, 2017 12:40 PM (3myMJ)

I'm a health care lawyer.

Posted by: Insomniac at April 27, 2017 12:41 PM (0mRoj)

320 How stupid is a millennial that any prospective employer can see their FB posts?

I don't know about stupid, but maybe they just don't think about it. First thing I do is search on the candidate's email address in Facebook. It can be...enlightening.

Posted by: Witchdoktor, AKA VA GOP Sucks at April 27, 2017 12:41 PM (eytER)

321 Took a test that asked, "Have you ever come back late from lunch or from break?"
I says yes.
The HR guy was all beshitted by my answer.
I told him, "The test didn't ask have I ever worked thru lunch or stayed late into the night to fix what needed fixing." To which I would also have answered in the affirmative.

He and I never got along.

Posted by: Roland THTG at April 27, 2017 12:42 PM (QM5S2)

322 Unlike the redneck demographic, the snowflake demographic has never produced a self deprecating comedian like Jeff Foxworthy. They're incapable of it, that's part of the essence of snowflakism.

Posted by: Steve and Cold Bear at April 27, 2017 12:42 PM (vRcUp)

323 319 Impossible to say whether you do but as you can see from the commenters, being overqualified is a tough sell these days.

What kind of law do you like?
Posted by: Meremortal at April 27, 2017 12:40 PM (3myMJ)

I'm a health care lawyer.
Posted by: Insomniac at April 27, 2017 12:41 PM (0mRoj)

Look for Pharmaceutical Regulatory Affairs. It's what I do.

Posted by: josephistan at April 27, 2017 12:42 PM (7HtZB)

324 Hey Insomniac: what state are you licensed in? Or states?

I'm kind of in the same boat you are; I'm an attorney in a rural area who doesn't want to do divorces or criminal law. Slim pickens. What areas do you practice in?

Posted by: Vanceone at April 27, 2017 12:43 PM (HcgJZ)

325 Sylvia, here at the Clinton Foundation we place a high value on oral skills. How would you rate yours, and would you be prepared to demonstrate them?

Posted by: Hillary! at April 27, 2017 12:44 PM (qJhUV)

326 288
I had a recruiting firm tell me that had to
physically see people before they sent them to a company for an
interview. The reason? After they sent someone to an interview they
called the company to ask how it went. They company said it would have
been nice if he knew how to dress for an interview and a shower and
shave would have helped too.

Posted by: TheQuietMan at April 27, 2017 12:33 PM (493sH)

Working with a recruiter now. They insisted on a face-to-face meeting for just that.

Posted by: Our Country is Screwed at April 27, 2017 12:44 PM (jxbfJ)

327 "What is your greatest flaw?

A: "my sense of honesty"

Interviewer: " I don't consider that to be a flaw."

A: "I don't give a fuck what you think."

Posted by: What the heck at April 27, 2017 12:45 PM (326rv)

328 I'm a health care lawyer.
Posted by: Insomniac at April 27, 2017 12:41 PM (0mRoj)

Sounds like a good skill to have these days.

Posted by: Meremortal at April 27, 2017 12:50 PM (3myMJ)

329 324 Hey Insomniac: what state are you licensed in? Or states?

I'm kind of in the same boat you are; I'm an attorney in a rural area who doesn't want to do divorces or criminal law. Slim pickens. What areas do you practice in?
Posted by: Vanceone at April 27, 2017 12:43 PM (HcgJZ)

Health care. Florida.

Posted by: Insomniac at April 27, 2017 12:50 PM (0mRoj)

330 The HR guy was all beshitted by my answer.

I told him, "The test didn't ask have I ever worked thru lunch or stayed late into the night to fix what needed fixing." To which I would also have answered in the affirmative.

He and I never got along.
Posted by: Roland THTG at April 27, 2017 12:42 PM (QM5S2)

Heh. I'm surprised you got hired.

Posted by: OregonMuse, deplorable since 2004 at April 27, 2017 12:52 PM (ieXn8)

331 Ever thought of Worker's Comp, Insomniac? Part of my practice is actually Worker's comp appeals (from the injured worker's side).

Put bluntly, the other attorneys in this field suck. They don't know how to read a medical report or they just roll over to the insurance doctors. They don't know what they are doing.

Worker's Comp is contingency, and Florida is a tad screwy with Worker's Comp law, but they aren't any screwier than Utah, which is where I'm at.

Posted by: Vanceone at April 27, 2017 12:56 PM (HcgJZ)

332 Really? You don't want a guy at my level of experience at a steep discount? What the fuck is so wrong about me?

They're afraid you'll take the job, continue looking and jump ship two months later when something with a higher salary comes along.

Posted by: GMan at April 27, 2017 01:19 PM (sxq57)

333 I think a good question..one that would show both conscious values decisions and also provide insight into the feeling basis of a potential employee, would be to ask them what they think, how they feel, when they smell some nice crispy fried chicken.

Posted by: Colonel Sanders at April 27, 2017 01:41 PM (n3hky)

334 "Boomer fucks" in the 70's/80's got actual hazing/harassment on the job. And it was legal.
Posted by: rickb223 at April 27, 2017 12:34 PM (gJBE5)

----------

You got that right. Even lie-detector tests where they asked all sorts of, you know, interesting questions.

Also at the time, employers were grabbing as many ex-military as they could. And it was a plus if you went to Vietnam.

Posted by: Soona at April 27, 2017 01:42 PM (Fmupd)

335 323 319 Impossible to say whether you do but as you can see from the commenters, being overqualified is a tough sell these days.

What kind of law do you like?
Posted by: Meremortal at April 27, 2017 12:40 PM (3myMJ)

--------------

Have you ever thought of doing porn?

Posted by: Soona at April 27, 2017 01:46 PM (Fmupd)

336 Nordstrom, not Nordstrom's.

Posted by: todd at April 27, 2017 02:02 PM (t0Bff)

337 Have you ever thought of doing porn?
Posted by: Soona at April 27, 2017 01:46 PM (Fmupd)

---

waits to hear how many Morons are overqualified...

Posted by: Buzzsaw90 at April 27, 2017 02:05 PM (PNcou)

338 Ein Volk, ein Reich, ein F�hrer

Posted by: Leninism at April 27, 2017 03:49 PM (qDhbG)

339 When you bring them in for an interview, make it clear that the company subsidizes CCW classes and firearms purchases and encourages permitted carry around the office.

Posted by: Servius at April 27, 2017 03:54 PM (SXIn9)

340 Snowflake test is just another form of "Behavioral Interviewing", right out of the 90's.

Probes for situational responses, assuming they will be indicative of future behavior.

Posted by: lonetown at April 27, 2017 06:20 PM (B95QN)

341 There are ways for a former employer to convey the needed information:

"He's a good worker, we would rehire" is a straightforward recommendation with no legal exposure.

"We can't comment due to our policy" means meh.

"We can't comment based on the advice of our legal counsel" means run in the opposite direction.

Posted by: haithabu at April 27, 2017 06:34 PM (5+lWd)

342 Simple.
Hire an 'HR lady' with all the appropriate liberal arts degrees and never hire anyone she recommends.
Hire anyone she doesn't recommend.

Posted by: Stan at April 28, 2017 06:39 AM (n8g88)

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