Trump Issues Executive Order to Review and Reorganize Federal Government, Eliminating "Unecessary" Agencies, Offices, and Programs

Putin is a real bear for government efficiency, I guess.

By the authority vested in me as President by the Constitution and the laws of the United States of America, it is hereby ordered as follows:
Section 1. Purpose. This order is intended to improve the efficiency, effectiveness, and accountability of the executive branch by directing the Director of the Office of Management and Budget (Director) to propose a plan to reorganize governmental functions and eliminate unnecessary agencies (as defined in section 551(1) of title 5, United States Code), components of agencies, and agency programs.
Sec. 2. Proposed Plan to Improve the Efficiency, Effectiveness, and Accountability of Federal Agencies, Including, as Appropriate, to Eliminate or Reorganize Unnecessary or Redundant Federal Agencies. (a) Within 180 days of the date of this order, the head of each agency shall submit to the Director a proposed plan to reorganize the agency, if appropriate, in order to improve the efficiency, effectiveness, and accountability of that agency.
(b) The Director shall publish a notice in the Federal Register inviting the public to suggest improvements in the organization and functioning of the executive branch and shall consider the suggestions when formulating the proposed plan described in subsection (c) of this section.
(c) Within 180 days after the closing date for the submission of suggestions pursuant to subsection (b) of this section, the Director shall submit to the President a proposed plan to reorganize the executive branch in order to improve the efficiency, effectiveness, and accountability of agencies. The proposed plan shall include, as appropriate, recommendations to eliminate unnecessary agencies, components of agencies, and agency programs, and to merge functions. The proposed plan shall include recommendations for any legislation or administrative measures necessary to achieve the proposed reorganization.
(d) In developing the proposed plan described in subsection (c) of this section, the Director shall consider, in addition to any other relevant factors:
(i) whether some or all of the functions of an agency, a component, or a program are appropriate for the Federal Government or would be better left to State or local governments or to the private sector through free enterprise;
(ii) whether some or all of the functions of an agency, a component, or a program are redundant, including with those of another agency, component, or program;
(iii) whether certain administrative capabilities necessary for operating an agency, a component, or a program are redundant with those of another agency, component, or program;
(iv) whether the costs of continuing to operate an agency, a component, or a program are justified by the public benefits it provides; and
(v) the costs of shutting down or merging agencies, components, or programs, including the costs of addressing the equities of affected agency staff.

Winning Tiredness Status:

[ ] Tired
[X] Not Yet Tired

Apologies: The insomnia struck again and I had to take a nyquil-type OTC sleep aid late last night. I'm zombified. So it's just gonna be crap like this until I call it an early night.

Update: Trump Administration hints it might cut UN funding by 50%.

Posted by: Ace at 05:25 PM

Comments

(Jump to bottom of comments)

1 Good.

Posted by: Sherry McEvil, Stiletto Corsettes, who is now luxuriating in vast pools of winning! at March 14, 2017 05:20 PM (kXoT0)

2 I think I just came.

Posted by: free tibet with purchase of equal or great value tibet at March 14, 2017 05:20 PM (U4PcL)

3 So what happens to all the affirmative action hires?

Posted by: Eromero at March 14, 2017 05:21 PM (zLDYs)

4 Don't worry, I'm sure republicans will fight him tooth an nail on this.

Posted by: Dr. Mr. Badman at March 14, 2017 05:21 PM (cfjq1)

5 Proposed Plan to Improve the Efficiency, Effectiveness, and Accountability of Federal Agencies

Have those words ever been used in the same sentence before?

Posted by: TheQuietMan at March 14, 2017 05:22 PM (493sH)

6 @2 - There had better have been a vagina involved, Bucko, or you're gonna pony up 100 smackeroos.

Posted by: Scrunt from Texas at March 14, 2017 05:22 PM (nILVB)

7 Hope they don't have to create another department to carry out this EO.

Posted by: Jack Sock at March 14, 2017 05:23 PM (3q554)

8 This is like that business practice where you have to reapply for your own job by justifying what you do*.

This is what happens when you have a results-driven businessman at the helm.

*No, thank God I have never had to do this.

Posted by: All Hail Eris, She-Wolf of the 'Ettes 'Ettes at March 14, 2017 05:23 PM (EnKk6)

9 This just proves that Bannon is a Leninist!

Posted by: Glen Beck at March 14, 2017 05:23 PM (OwdyX)

10 I'm having trouble sleeping too with the stupid time change...

Posted by: It's me donna at March 14, 2017 05:23 PM (O2RFr)

11 "Uh oh, someone's gunning for us!"

-- Guy with phoney-baloney, good time rock 'n roll banana government job

Posted by: Lizzy at March 14, 2017 05:23 PM (NOIQH)

12 He should have put at the end of it,

And don't try to snowball me ya slimey prick$. I already know what can be done. I just want to see if you're smart enough to keep on the job.

Posted by: Bruce at March 14, 2017 05:23 PM (8ikIW)

13 (i) whether some or all of the functions of an agency, a
component, or a program are appropriate for the Federal Government or
would be better left to State or local governments or to the private
sector through free enterprise;
---
I'm not sure how to square this with the Ryan plan to provide health care for everyone.

Posted by: Methos, back to Let It Burn at March 14, 2017 05:24 PM (3Liv/)

14 So it's just gonna be crap like this until I call it an early night.

[ ] Whatever will we do?
[X] We'll find something to amuse ourselves

Posted by: E Depluribus Unum at March 14, 2017 05:24 PM (ZFUt7)

15 I am rolling around in a big pile of winning over here like a cat rolling in catnip.

Should he pull this off and get rid of several tens of thousands of useless wads of human debris disguised as federal employees, then, lo, the demographics of the states surrounding DC will change BIGLY.

Posted by: Sherry McEvil, Stiletto Corsettes, who is now luxuriating in vast pools of winning! at March 14, 2017 05:24 PM (kXoT0)

16 >> The insomnia struck again and I had to take a nyquil-type OTC sleep aid late last night. I'm zombified

Have some Beet Juice!

Posted by: Dana Loesch at March 14, 2017 05:25 PM (Gbk/a)

17 Schadenboner status: turgid

Posted by: WhatWhatWhat? at March 14, 2017 05:25 PM (ul9CR)

18 I'm doing my best Mr. Burns voice: "Excellent."

*rubs hands

Posted by: Max Power at March 14, 2017 05:25 PM (q177U)

19 Let the evisceration begin.

Posted by: Anna Puma at March 14, 2017 05:25 PM (n7MM7)

20 Just give me the keys and take the rest of the night off. What could go wrong?

Posted by: JackStraw at March 14, 2017 05:25 PM (/tuJf)

21 Should he pull this off and get rid of several tens
of thousands of useless wads of human debris disguised as federal
employees, then, lo, the demographics of the states surrounding DC will
change BIGLY.

Posted by: Sherry McEvil

Does that count against him on the jobs report though?

Posted by: Bruce at March 14, 2017 05:25 PM (8ikIW)

22 >>Hope they don't have to create another department to carry out this EO.

Maybe it will be like that White Privilege Checklist where Step #10 = "Oh, and you are now redundant, too, so fire yo selves!"

Posted by: Lizzy at March 14, 2017 05:25 PM (NOIQH)

23 Some people get worn out by something and simply quit, while others get worn out by something and then blows the whole thing up.

Trump's temperament seems like the kind that would simply take a wrecking ball to the whole thing and build something new.

Posted by: William Eaton at March 14, 2017 05:25 PM (MuTTO)

24 50% reduction is no problem.

Posted by: Oilfield Workers at March 14, 2017 05:26 PM (xkaSw)

25 My schadenboner just became self aware.

Posted by: Duke Lowell at March 14, 2017 05:26 PM (kTF2Z)

26 And the Horde is going to owe Jessica Farrar plenty of Benjamins over this

Posted by: Anna Puma at March 14, 2017 05:26 PM (n7MM7)

27 It's the Full Moon, Ace.

Posted by: garrett at March 14, 2017 05:26 PM (Gbk/a)

28 Donald Trump could be our first Black Knight POTUS in a 100 years. Pretty damn funny as well IMO.

Posted by: Widespread Pepe at March 14, 2017 05:26 PM (2qHjF)

29 Does that count against him on the jobs report though?
Posted by: Bruce at March 14, 2017 05:25 PM (8ikIW)

W-H-O C-A-R-E-S?

Posted by: Sherry McEvil, Stiletto Corsettes, who is now luxuriating in vast pools of winning! at March 14, 2017 05:26 PM (kXoT0)

30 HARRUMPH! WE HAVE TO SAVE OUR PHONY BALONEY JOBS!!!

Posted by: Deep State at March 14, 2017 05:26 PM (0i9eW)

31 If you notice a big chunk missing out of the moon. It was me. My schandenboner.

Posted by: CSMBigBird at March 14, 2017 05:26 PM (xInes)

32 You know who else reorganized his govt? Hitler

Posted by: Tinfoilbaby at March 14, 2017 05:26 PM (6Ll1u)

33 Putin is a real bear for government efficiency, I guess.

---

I LOLed

Posted by: @votermom @vm at March 14, 2017 05:27 PM (Om16U)

34 So it's just gonna be crap like this until I call it an early night.

Bill Wynn sent you the latest polling numbers?

Posted by: TheQuietMan at March 14, 2017 05:27 PM (493sH)

35 Get yourself some Michael Jackson juice to go to sleep. Normally called propofol . You can get yourself a colonoscopy at the same time.

Posted by: Jack Sock at March 14, 2017 05:27 PM (3q554)

36 Russians? Hitler? Killing Grandma and Shabba-doo? Government shutdown? OK that's all the statist talking points.

Posted by: Strobe at March 14, 2017 05:27 PM (gbWkA)

37 I love the order. My inner cynic says very very little will come of it but at least it puts out to the public the fact that there is a lot of redundancy in the feral government. Case in point. handing out money for "climate studies" by the USDA, DoE(nergy), DoD, etc. etc.

Posted by: PaleRider at March 14, 2017 05:27 PM (eASYU)

38 I hope this goes somewhere, but this is the real battle. Yes I get immigration and terrorism and bathrooms and all that, but we cannot fight those battles unless the government is cleaned up.

I am certain America was lost in 2012, and we're just watching its death throes but...

but...

If Donald Trump can succeed in cleaning up, shrinking, and reorganizing the federal government...

maybe we'll get that scene in which everyone is turning away sadly from the hospital, only to hear a *beep*

Posted by: Christopher R Taylor at March 14, 2017 05:27 PM (39g3+)

39 ace> So it's just gonna be crap like this until I call it an early night.

Winning crap.

This is what we voted for.

This is why it won't work in 3.2.1.

Posted by: Golfman at March 14, 2017 05:27 PM (pEayp)

40 Trump is also banishing all un-necessary "n's", stating there are just too many of them.

Couldn't sleep last night either.

Posted by: washrivergal at March 14, 2017 05:27 PM (Ivjge)

41 Oh, boy. I'm pretty sure Hitler did the same thing, or else nothing close EVER, however, the wailing and gnashing of teeth by the lefties will not leave out the unvarnished truth about Hitler, and his long lost son ... PDT.

/sarc

Posted by: Mephitis at March 14, 2017 05:27 PM (DHsoc)

42 Just give me the keys and take the rest of the night off. What could go wrong?

Posted by: JackStraw

Ace hears the giggling in the background. He ain't fooled.

Posted by: Bruce at March 14, 2017 05:27 PM (8ikIW)

43 My schadenboner stuck itself in Lena Dunham's mouth and told me it counts as anal.

Sure, I chuckled at the scamp's impudent bon mot, but he's still standing in the corner and going to bed without any supper.

Posted by: WhatWhatWhat? at March 14, 2017 05:28 PM (ul9CR)

44 How are cowboys going to write poetry?

Posted by: Departmet of Repetitive Redundency Department, Useless Bullshit Branch at March 14, 2017 05:28 PM (0i9eW)

45 We've noticed you been missing work lately.

I wouldn't say I'm missing it, Bob.

Posted by: Duke Lowell at March 14, 2017 05:28 PM (kTF2Z)

46 Masturbation before sleep is a good sleep aid.

At $100 a shot, it's on par with heroin.

Posted by: Big Fat Meanie at March 14, 2017 05:29 PM (hqZPQ)

47 I, for one, welcome our winning.

Posted by: Strobe at March 14, 2017 05:29 PM (gbWkA)

48 Ace, don't take the liquid NyQuil. 93 calories per serving mostly High fructose corn syrup. Take the NyQuil Gel tablets.

Posted by: Widespread Pepe at March 14, 2017 05:29 PM (2qHjF)

49 If the deep state was merely concerned before, they're gonna be in full war mode now. I wonder if any of that chatter about a Pence-led coup might be true after all.

Posted by: Rusty Nail at March 14, 2017 05:29 PM (S2VsH)

50
The Beauty part of this order is that none of those useless federal employees need to lose their jobs --

they can ALL become border patrol agents and bricklayers for The Wall!

Posted by: iSoothsayer iPro iLX at March 14, 2017 05:29 PM (BJR66)

51 " the costs of shutting down or merging agencies, components, or programs, including the costs of addressing the equities of affected agency staff."
-------------

"Equities"

Heh. The Left are psychologically incapable of arguing against any statement that includes that word, which is meaningless in the social context.

Posted by: Mike Hammer, etc., etc. at March 14, 2017 05:29 PM (ZO497)

52 This is magnificent.

Posted by: willow at March 14, 2017 05:30 PM (R7cwD)

53 Think about all of the jobs if we don't exist.

Posted by: Commerce Department Tobacco Promotion Office at March 14, 2017 05:30 PM (0i9eW)

54 Time to go to Whitehouse.gov and give PT some support.

Posted by: Ladylibertarian at March 14, 2017 05:30 PM (TdMsT)

55 AND I HOPE IT IS YUGE

Posted by: willow at March 14, 2017 05:30 PM (R7cwD)

56 Slicing like a fucking hammer!

Posted by: Chi-Town Jerry at March 14, 2017 05:30 PM (so+oy)

57 Schadenboner status: turgid
Posted by: WhatWhatWhat? at March 14, 2017 05:25 PM (ul9CR)

Max turgidity.

Posted by: Golfman at March 14, 2017 05:30 PM (pEayp)

58

the CBO just called and said the cost of shutting down these federal departments is Ten Zillion Dollars over the next 5 years.

Posted by: iSoothsayer iPro iLX at March 14, 2017 05:30 PM (BJR66)

59 >>Does that count against him on the jobs report though?

Ah, but that's the potential beauty of this: with far fewer federal regulators and overseers + fewer regulations = serious potential for private sector growth (thanks to fewer dollars/hours spent on compliance, red tape, etc.).

Posted by: Lizzy at March 14, 2017 05:30 PM (NOIQH)

60 50
The Beauty part of this order is that none of those useless federal employees need to lose their jobs --

they can ALL become border patrol agents and bricklayers for The Wall!
Posted by: iSoothsayer iPro iLX at March 14, 2017 05:29 PM (BJR66)

An elegant solution.

Posted by: Ladylibertarian at March 14, 2017 05:31 PM (TdMsT)

61 Ah, but that's the potential beauty of this: with
far fewer federal regulators and overseers + fewer regulations = serious
potential for private sector growth (thanks to fewer dollars/hours
spent on compliance, red tape, etc.).

Posted by: Lizzy

Mind

Blown

Posted by: Bruce at March 14, 2017 05:31 PM (8ikIW)

62 If the Tobacco Promotion Office goes undernpeople may stop smoking on their own and we won't have a purpose.

Posted by: HHS Smoking Cessation at March 14, 2017 05:31 PM (0i9eW)

63 But how will I get my grant money to study transsexual gophers in a homogeneous solutions a carp puke and, and ...climate change?

Posted by: Government tit-sucking scientists at March 14, 2017 05:32 PM (gbWkA)

64 Libs whining about how Trump ran on adding jobs and he's cutting them in 5... 4... 3... 2...

Posted by: Christopher R Taylor at March 14, 2017 05:32 PM (39g3+)

65
When Obama wrote all those EO's who was it here who mentioned something called a 'pendulum'?

/ Or was it 'speculum' - because Obama?

Posted by: E Depluribus Unum at March 14, 2017 05:32 PM (ZFUt7)

66 This doesn't sound good for the Department of Departments Department.

Posted by: eleven at March 14, 2017 05:32 PM (qUNWi)

67 This is exactly what the R party should be about. Any who resist need to be primaried out of existence, no matter who they are.
First action step should be elimination of all federal employee unions.

Posted by: Leonard Pinth-Garnell at March 14, 2017 05:32 PM (7A6l6)

68 Winning doesn't get old. If PT can get a 10% reduction in the federal government, he'll be the most effective president in over a century. IMO.

Posted by: iwuzhere at March 14, 2017 05:32 PM (jiGGU)

69 Just wait until the Trump administration cuts off free pron on the computers.

Posted by: Tinfoilbaby at March 14, 2017 05:32 PM (6Ll1u)

70 why not simply hold the pay of everyone in every federal agency, save maybe the pentagon, unchanged for the next five years. no increases, no bonuses.

Posted by: yankeefifth at March 14, 2017 05:32 PM (cPsPa)

71 It's crap like this that will guarantee Hillary wins in a landslide.
Should have nominated Jeb!

Posted by: wooga, please clap. at March 14, 2017 05:32 PM (jwxZQ)

72 Schadenboner status: turgid
Posted by: WhatWhatWhat?
--------
I am reminded of the patent medicine that claimed to help those suffering from 'Torpid Liver'. I've never investigated the symptoms associated with a 'torpid liver', and I shan't now.

Posted by: Mike Hammer, etc., etc. at March 14, 2017 05:32 PM (NBHj5)

73 Trump was able to win the Presidency spending just 1/5 of Hillary. Just sayin'

Posted by: MAGA at March 14, 2017 05:33 PM (A4HOq)

74 Schadenbutton status: Real

Posted by: Jane D'oh at March 14, 2017 05:33 PM (PY9jH)

75 Let's be honest, are't these kinds of EOs pretty meaningless and just meant for PR purposes?

Like Obama making an EO for agencies to try and find ways to make their carbon footprint smaller. Just some sort of feel good headline.

Posted by: Maritime at March 14, 2017 05:33 PM (1WzUn)

76 This is literally what Hitler did. Learn some history.

Posted by: mugiwara at March 14, 2017 05:34 PM (PCFYt)

77 This is exactly what the R party should be about. Any who resist need to be primaried out of existence, no matter who they are.
First action step should be elimination of all federal employee unions.
Posted by: Leonard Pinth-Garnell at March 14, 2017 05:32 PM (7A6l6)

The Hell you say.

Posted by: Thom Tillis at March 14, 2017 05:34 PM (pEayp)

78 Followed by leftists whining about racism since federal jobs are almost double the National percentage of black workers.

Posted by: Christopher R Taylor at March 14, 2017 05:34 PM (39g3+)

79 My son's father in law, retired Lt gen, West Point, blah blah, said this weekend, he may be course, but by God he is doing God's work.

He isn't political, most career guys aren't, he has a hard one about Trump.

Simply amazing. Do you think anyone else would have done this?

Only a non elected guy knows to DRAIN THE SWAMP.

Posted by: Sam at March 14, 2017 05:34 PM (YPJrZ)

80 Media: Oh, the humanity! Thousands of dedicated civil servants who spend their lives toiling ceaselessly to make our lives better, forced onto the breadlines! No more clean water or air! No housing or food for the poor! Wall Street running amok! Corporations polluting and scheming! Citizens defenseless! Putin wants our government weakened by these cuts! It plays right into our enemies' hands!

Posted by: JuJuBee at March 14, 2017 05:34 PM (dargh)

81 Think this one will finally give Chucky Schumer and Nancy Pelosi the coronaries they so richly deserve?

Posted by: Strobe at March 14, 2017 05:34 PM (gbWkA)

82 The Ratchet just tightened a nut on The Pendulum which swung the Overton Window into a new and unfamiliar position.

Posted by: Mortimer-Finish Her! at March 14, 2017 05:34 PM (WAb1j)

83 >>But how will I get my grant money to study transsexual gophers in a
homogeneous solutions a carp puke and, and ...climate change?

https://www.patreon.com/

Posted by: Lizzy at March 14, 2017 05:34 PM (NOIQH)

84 Just wait until the Trump administration cuts off free pron on the computers.

Posted by: Tinfoilbaby

EPA has already suggested crapping in the halls to save on plumbing.

Posted by: Bruce at March 14, 2017 05:34 PM (8ikIW)

85 This doesn't sound good for the Department of Departments Department.
Posted by: eleven
-------------

Equity, dammnit! We demand equity!

Posted by: Dept. of Depts. Dept. employees at March 14, 2017 05:35 PM (NBHj5)

86 Just wait until the Trump administration cuts off free pron on the computers.
Posted by: Tinfoilbaby at March 14, 2017 05:32 PM (6Ll1u)

Heck, just turn off the elevators and do away with parking spots close to the building, a lot of those employees are beyond morbidly obese who drag into work toting a cooler and bags of food on their scooters.

Posted by: Sherry McEvil, Stiletto Corsettes, who is now luxuriating in vast pools of winning! at March 14, 2017 05:35 PM (kXoT0)

87 The cowbell is due for a return.

Posted by: blaster at March 14, 2017 05:35 PM (HV1LS)

88
The Fake News and Democrats are repeating a new fake estimate all day today on the cost of "Trumpcare."

According to the Fake News, a report shows that a 64 yr old making $26K/yr in 10 years will pay only $1700/yr for obamacare, but will pay $14K/yr for Ryan's new plan.

And now we have shithead Republican after shithead Republican stuttering and stammering on live TV when they hear this fake bullshit estimate.

Posted by: iSoothsayer iPro iLX at March 14, 2017 05:35 PM (BJR66)

89 75 Let's be honest, are't these kinds of EOs pretty meaningless and just meant for PR purposes?

Like Obama making an EO for agencies to try and find ways to make their carbon footprint smaller. Just some sort of feel good headline.
Posted by: Maritime at March 14, 2017 05:33 PM (1WzUn)

+++

You think he should run it by Congress, 'cause you know he'll get all kinds of support there. Streamlined, in fact.

Posted by: washrivergal at March 14, 2017 05:35 PM (Ivjge)

90 31 If you notice a big chunk missing out of the moon. It was me. My schandenboner.
Posted by: CSMBigBird at March 14, 2017 05:26 PM (xInes)

Morons: keep your boners under control! The moon? Now you know why we can't have nice things.

Posted by: Ladylibertarian at March 14, 2017 05:35 PM (TdMsT)

91 I've never investigated the symptoms associated with a 'torpid liver', and I shan't now.
Posted by: Mike Hammer, etc., etc. at March 14, 2017 05:32 PM (NBHj5)

I think it was a Tom Waits song.

Posted by: hogmartin at March 14, 2017 05:35 PM (8nWyX)

92 WaPo has gotten the message. Doom! Housing prices to go down, DC in panic mode, everyone is going to get fired!

MOAR POPCORN

Posted by: Sam at March 14, 2017 05:36 PM (YPJrZ)

93 Holy smeg! Hope he can trust his Secret Service detail. Because most of the government didnt like him when they had a job. Now? Oh boy.

Posted by: Darth Randall at March 14, 2017 05:36 PM (6n332)

94 the CBO just called and said the cost of shutting down these federal departments is Ten Zillion Dollars over the next 5 years.
====

Plus you have to remember that every dollar of government spending generates an extra buck ninety of magical "recirculation" or something. So it's more like Twenty Zillion, you guys.

Posted by: Crazy Aunt Nancy at March 14, 2017 05:36 PM (PXbkt)

95 Let's be honest, are't these kinds of EOs pretty meaningless and just meant for PR purposes?

Possibly; it may also unleash the heavily-restrained and penalized Inspectors General. Obama got nailed over and over by them for his first few years and he went after them until they shut up. This may be a signal to cut loose.

Posted by: Christopher R Taylor at March 14, 2017 05:36 PM (39g3+)

96 hide the slush funds, stat !

Posted by: runner at March 14, 2017 05:36 PM (c6/9Q)

97 Posted by: Christopher R Taylor at March 14, 2017 05:34 PM

It's always been an unofficial unacknowledged form of reparations. Just try being a BART station agent if you are any other color than black (Pro tip: You can't).

Posted by: Rusty Nail at March 14, 2017 05:36 PM (S2VsH)

98 >>>75 Let's be honest, are't these kinds of EOs pretty meaningless and just meant for PR purposes?

Sure it's just a tease and won't go anywhere.
But even if I know I'm not getting laid, I'd still rather have my balls tickled than punched.

Posted by: wooga at March 14, 2017 05:36 PM (jwxZQ)

99 Shit! Now we'll never figure out why most lesbians are overweight.

Posted by: The National Institutes of Health at March 14, 2017 05:36 PM (ZO497)

100
I just shorted PornHub stock.

Status:
[ ] not winning
[X] winning while making money

Posted by: E Depluribus Unum at March 14, 2017 05:36 PM (ZFUt7)

101 ohgodohgodohgod I just recovered from my last extended schadenboner my blood flow isssssssss

/keels over

Posted by: Brother Cavil, keeper of the Deplorable Unicode Character at March 14, 2017 05:36 PM (9krrF)

102 You know who else reorganized his govt? Hitler

Posted by: Tinfoilbaby at March 14, 2017 05:26 PM (6Ll1u)

Poseurs.

All of you.

Posted by: Josef Stalin at March 14, 2017 05:37 PM (rUIbB)

103 Jogging jumbo shrimp studies hardest hit.

Posted by: Jane D'oh at March 14, 2017 05:37 PM (PY9jH)

104 I remember hearing some years ago that there were something like 42 federal agencies that offered consumers financial advice. And I was like WTF? 42?

Posted by: Old Blue release the KrakenTrump at March 14, 2017 05:37 PM (9iR5/)

105 Hey, Hammer, you still got snow up there?

Posted by: Sam at March 14, 2017 05:38 PM (YPJrZ)

106 I just shorted PornHub stock.

Status:
[ ] not winning
[X] winning while making money
Posted by: E Depluribus Unum at March

why? everything is going to get better under Trump, even porn.

Posted by: yankeefifth at March 14, 2017 05:38 PM (cPsPa)

107 No matter what Republicans do with Obamacare, they will be trotting out sob stories, so you might as well actually destroy the thing.

The media is not going to give it a fair hearing, might as well do what you've been promising to supporters over the last 7 years.

I want to see Democrats run on bringing ObamaCare back.

Posted by: Maritime at March 14, 2017 05:38 PM (1WzUn)

108 @92. Well, on the plus side you're going to see a real increase in blood and plasma supply from DC. It would be supremely ironic.

Posted by: Big Fat Meanie at March 14, 2017 05:38 PM (hqZPQ)

109 Trump should issue a affirmative action hiring plan:

50% of all government workers in non-military agencies must be veterans.

Each agency will have one year to accomplish this.

That should scare off the progressives.

Posted by: William Eaton at March 14, 2017 05:38 PM (MuTTO)

110 Cut the Office of Obama Pho

Posted by: JackStraw at March 14, 2017 05:38 PM (/tuJf)

111 Hope you get over the insomnia. The worst is when you can't sleep because you are anxious, then get more and more anxious because you can't sleep.
I find more exercise and less internet helps me sleep better. Melatonin and ZMA seem to help. I just got a $7sleeping mask to shut out the light and so far so good.

Posted by: DM at March 14, 2017 05:38 PM (garNZ)

112 The Ratchet just tightened a nut on The Pendulum which swung the Overton Window into a new and unfamiliar position.

Posted by: Mortimer-Finish Her!

Kevin Williamson is vomiting into Charles CCCCP Cookes asshole.

Posted by: weft cut-loop at March 14, 2017 05:38 PM (4YGWz)

113 68 Winning doesn't get old. If PT can get a 10% reduction in the federal government, he'll be the most effective president in over a century. IMO.
Posted by: iwuzhere at March 14, 2017 05:32 PM (jiGGU)

Ahem.

Posted by: Calvin the Great at March 14, 2017 05:38 PM (0i9eW)

114 Winning Tiredness Status:

[ ] Tired
[X] Not Yet Tired

Apologies: The insomnia struck again and I had to take a nyquil-type OTC sleep aid late last night. I'm zombified. So it's just gonna be crap like this until I call it an early night.

So you're not tired of winning, but the rest of you is all tired.

Posted by: buzzion at March 14, 2017 05:38 PM (z/Ubi)

115 I'll believe it when I see pics of the the weeping and gnashing of laid off fed gov workers.

til then. meh.

Posted by: havildar-major at March 14, 2017 05:39 PM (jpW6t)

116 Maybe congress can address earmarks again.

Posted by: Jack Sock at March 14, 2017 05:39 PM (3q554)

117 Let's be honest, are't these kinds of EOs pretty meaningless and just meant for PR purposes?
------------

Perhaps, but it will promote more Chicken Little behavior on the part of the institutions of the Left.

I enjoy watching them make fools of themselves.

Posted by: Mike Hammer, etc., etc. at March 14, 2017 05:39 PM (ZO497)

118 I gotz ta admire the Morons for making cogent posts with few misspellings while having only survival levels of blood circulation above the waist.

Posted by: Sherry McEvil, Stiletto Corsettes, who is now luxuriating in vast pools of winning! at March 14, 2017 05:39 PM (kXoT0)

119 Left hand: Russian! Trump lied about wiretapping! Deep State Pence Presidency! ELEVENTY!!!

Right hand: quietly cutting government like an abattoir.

Posted by: shibumi at March 14, 2017 05:39 PM (FkAXz)

120 Send in the Bobs!

Posted by: Duke Lowell at March 14, 2017 05:39 PM (kTF2Z)

121 Shutdown the EPA!

Protect America's waterways and hallways!

Posted by: buzzion at March 14, 2017 05:39 PM (z/Ubi)

122 Sure it's just a tease and won't go anywhere.
But even if I know I'm not getting laid, I'd still rather have my balls tickled than punched.

By Samantha Bee ?

Posted by: ScoggDog at March 14, 2017 05:40 PM (Mo4sx)

123 I'm reminded of a tale I once heard about the Tribe of Golgafrichans.

Posted by: eleven at March 14, 2017 05:40 PM (qUNWi)

124 I gotz ta admire the Morons for making cogent posts with few misspellings while having only survival levels of blood circulation above the waist.
Posted by: Sherry McEvil, Stiletto Corsettes, who is now luxuriating in vast pools of winning! at March 14, 2017 05:39 PM (kXoT0)

have been wearing my g-suit nearly non-stop since Trump was elected.

Posted by: yankeefifth at March 14, 2017 05:40 PM (cPsPa)

125 >>Let's be honest, are't these kinds of EOs pretty meaningless and just meant for PR purposes?

You mean like following through on campaign promises, how they're just made to get elected not acted upon once in office?
I suppose it depends on whether Trump follows up on these EOs, eh? WHat do think the chances of that are

Posted by: Lizzy at March 14, 2017 05:40 PM (NOIQH)

126 Send in the Bobs!

Posted by: Duke Lowell at March 14, 2017 05:39 PM (kTF2Z)

Don't forget "Pam." She was nice.

Posted by: Jane D'oh at March 14, 2017 05:40 PM (PY9jH)

127 Key the stories about how this will mean dirty water, dirty air planes falling out of the sky and no more wild animals, in 3, 2, 1.

Posted by: Strobe at March 14, 2017 05:40 PM (gbWkA)

128
So you're not tired of winning, but the rest of you is all tired.

Posted by: buzzion at March 14, 2017 05:38 PM (z/Ubi)

Like being dead?

Posted by: Sam at March 14, 2017 05:40 PM (YPJrZ)

129
First action step should be elimination of all federal employee unions.
Posted by: Leonard Pinth-Garnell at March 14, 2017 05:32 PM (7A6l6)

The Hell you say.
Posted by: Thom Tillis at March 14, 2017 05:34 PM (pEayp)

Oh friggin absolutely.

Posted by: Ladylibertarian at March 14, 2017 05:41 PM (TdMsT)

130 96 hide the slush funds, stat !

Posted by: runner at March 14, 2017 05:36 PM (c6/9Q)

On it!

Posted by: William Jefferson at March 14, 2017 05:41 PM (V4Qfo)

131 Let's be honest, are't these kinds of EOs pretty meaningless and just meant for PR purposes?
Posted by: Maritime at March 14, 2017 05:33 PM (1WzUn)

It gives the new Secretaries cover. If you don't think guys like Scott Pruitt, etc. can't run with then, I don't know what else to say.

Posted by: Sherry McEvil, Stiletto Corsettes, who is now luxuriating in vast pools of winning! at March 14, 2017 05:41 PM (kXoT0)

132 Jeebus. Getting down to below freezing here the next two nights.

Buh-bye, azaleas, dogwoods, and other pretty things.

Posted by: Jane D'oh at March 14, 2017 05:41 PM (PY9jH)

133 Eliminating "Unecessary" Agencies, Offices, and Programs
.............

Welcome to your Funenjoyment, now it's time to get a real job.

Posted by: Jefe El Donaldo at March 14, 2017 05:41 PM (HgMAr)

134 Wow. A new sundial...

Posted by: Anon a mouse... at March 14, 2017 05:42 PM (E/Lwd)

135 Man this guys making me look like a limp noodle.

Posted by: Barbed Cock of Satan at March 14, 2017 05:42 PM (L7t0A)

136 Outrageous! This marginalizes peoples of color.

Posted by: Les Kinetic at March 14, 2017 05:42 PM (U6f54)

137 123 I'm reminded of a tale I once heard about the Tribe of Golgafrichans.

Hairstylists and telephone sanitizers?

Posted by: Ladylibertarian at March 14, 2017 05:42 PM (TdMsT)

138 How will we hold cowboy poetry festivals? Do it for the CHILDREN!

Posted by: Hairy Reid at March 14, 2017 05:42 PM (27k1O)

139 It looks like half the Navy's been indicted in this Fat Francis scheme. That can't be fun.

Posted by: Big Fat Meanie at March 14, 2017 05:42 PM (hqZPQ)

140 127 Key the stories about how this will mean dirty water, dirty air planes falling out of the sky and no more wild animals, in 3, 2, 1.

I'll hold out for the stories about planes falling in to wild animals who had been weakened by the dirty water and air.

in 3, 2, 1.

Posted by: havildar-major at March 14, 2017 05:42 PM (jpW6t)

141 Glen Beck @ 9- proves Bannon is a Leninist.
I first read that as a Lannister.

Posted by: Eromero at March 14, 2017 05:43 PM (zLDYs)

142 All you "Czars"? You're fired, too.

Posted by: Jefe El Donaldo at March 14, 2017 05:43 PM (HgMAr)

143 Hey, Hammer, you still got snow up there?
Posted by: Sam
----

Do you mean from last weekend? No. It snowed Sat. night, but was gone by noon on Sunday. I mean *gone*, not a trace.

If you mean now, yes it is snowing. Light flurries since this morning. But it is light, and the roads are too warm for it to mean anything.

Temp at my location is 30 deg. currently, but it's dropping, and wind picking up a *lot*. Gonna be a cold night. I expect wind chills possibly into the negatives.

Posted by: Mike Hammer, etc., etc. at March 14, 2017 05:43 PM (ZO497)

144 How about the funding for Abortions R Us?

And the funding for NPR? 'Cause if we are funding NPR, we might as well fund Breitbart, and we ain't.

Posted by: Les Kinetic at March 14, 2017 05:43 PM (U6f54)

145
Anatomy of a Fake News TV Interview

1. Invite a stupid Republican
2. Bombard stupid Republican with fake facts and data that s/he cannot refute or defend
3. Force Republican to admit Wrong

Posted by: iSoothsayer iPro iLX at March 14, 2017 05:43 PM (BJR66)

146 I thought PDT was stalled and impotent.

Posted by: freaked at March 14, 2017 05:43 PM (BO/km)

147 And your health insurance premiums will be $14,000 per year!

Posted by: CNN at March 14, 2017 05:44 PM (HgMAr)

148 the update , THE UPDATE !

Posted by: runner at March 14, 2017 05:44 PM (c6/9Q)

149 Let's be honest, are't these kinds of EOs pretty meaningless and just meant for PR purposes?
Posted by: Maritime at March 14, 2017 05:33 PM (1WzUn)

It gives the new Secretaries cover. If you don't think guys like Scott Pruitt, etc. can't run with then, I don't know what else to say.
Posted by: Sherry McEvil
_________

If it's setting the stage for mass layoffs, I'm all for it, but I hear some of the EOs and wonder if its just a form of lip service without really doing anything.

I mean EVERY government agency will swear up and down they are vital to the public, efficient and need every penny and employee.

Posted by: Maritime at March 14, 2017 05:44 PM (1WzUn)

150 All you "Czars"? You're fired, too.
Posted by: Jefe El Donaldo at March 14, 2017 05:43 PM (HgMAr)

All you "Specials" that are not Special Agents or Special Prosecutors are gone too.

Posted by: Sherry McEvil, Stiletto Corsettes, who is now luxuriating in vast pools of winning! at March 14, 2017 05:44 PM (kXoT0)

151 Without all the dicks at the department of energy, we can have atomic powered cowbell!

Posted by: Strobe at March 14, 2017 05:44 PM (gbWkA)

152 Send in the Bobs!

Posted by: Duke Lowell

So, if you would, would you walk us through a typical day, for you?

Posted by: weft cut-loop at March 14, 2017 05:44 PM (4YGWz)

153 The folks at all the numerous Department of Redundancy Departments best be tidying up their resumes.

Posted by: Flyboy at March 14, 2017 05:44 PM (0NeDf)

154 All you "Blue Ribbon" panels, bye bye!

Posted by: Sherry McEvil, Stiletto Corsettes, who is now luxuriating in vast pools of winning! at March 14, 2017 05:45 PM (kXoT0)

155 yeah, anyone complaining about obscene insurance premiums has no knowledge of what happened under obamacare.

Posted by: yankeefifth at March 14, 2017 05:45 PM (cPsPa)

156 119 Left hand: Russian! Trump lied about wiretapping! Deep State Pence Presidency! ELEVENTY!!!

Right hand: quietly cutting government like an abattoir.

Posted by: shibumi at March 14, 2017 05:39 PM (FkAXz)

Great visual!

Posted by: Ladylibertarian at March 14, 2017 05:45 PM (TdMsT)

157 I'm keeping only one Czar. The Czar of Getting Rid of Useless Assholes.

Posted by: Jefe El Donaldo at March 14, 2017 05:45 PM (HgMAr)

158 Zucker, get Catfood Hunter and Sickfromzika up and throwing, and tell Risingseas to start stretching.

Posted by: Manager Yogi Soros on the dugout phone at March 14, 2017 05:45 PM (W2Pxx)

159 @143

Same here. Sounds like this global warming shit is over rated?

Posted by: Sam at March 14, 2017 05:45 PM (YPJrZ)

160 All I can say is I hope that insipid Ad Council goes away. Everything else will be bonus.

Posted by: freaked at March 14, 2017 05:45 PM (BO/km)

161 Whew...Good thing we're always right.

Posted by: CBO at March 14, 2017 05:45 PM (L7t0A)

162 144 How about the funding for Abortions R Us?

Thems what you calls the third rail for the progs.

Ft Sumter 2017 anyone?

Posted by: havildar-major at March 14, 2017 05:45 PM (jpW6t)

163 >>Trump Administration hints it might cut UN funding by 50%.

squirt

Posted by: JackStraw at March 14, 2017 05:46 PM (/tuJf)

164 Why hasn't Trump fired the IRS asshole yet? I mean come on, drain the swamp.

Posted by: Tinfoilbaby at March 14, 2017 05:46 PM (6Ll1u)

165 Key the stories about how this will mean dirty water, dirty air planes falling out of the sky and no more wild animals, in 3, 2, 1.
----------

Also, plans to kill children, old people, ~~colored people~~ people of color, and muslims. They will be fed to the rich.

Posted by: Mike Hammer, etc., etc. at March 14, 2017 05:46 PM (ZO497)

166 My boner just kicked in the door at the UN and strapped on a blue helmet.

Posted by: Fritz at March 14, 2017 05:46 PM (YAPkP)

167 Winning. I'm not tired of it yet. Moar please. Thank you President Trump!

Posted by: USNtakim at March 14, 2017 05:46 PM (hMqvx)

168 164
Why hasn't Trump fired the IRS asshole yet? I mean come on, drain the swamp.

Posted by: Tinfoilbaby at March 14, 2017 05:46 PM (6Ll1u)

THIS!!!

Posted by: Sam at March 14, 2017 05:46 PM (YPJrZ)

169 Cut UN funding by 50%!?!?!?!??!

So, roughly a 12.5% cut to UN's overall dues, right?

Posted by: Lizzy at March 14, 2017 05:47 PM (NOIQH)

170
Send in the Bobs!

Bob's yer Aunt!

Posted by: Tranny Aussie at March 14, 2017 05:47 PM (IqV8l)

171 the size of fed govt probably quadrupled under whatshisname, so by cutting it we just get to maybe bush-era level

Posted by: runner at March 14, 2017 05:47 PM (c6/9Q)

172 Yeah brace yourself for nothing but endless stories about how unless we have 8000 people working in the Department of Trout Minnows in Mill Creek (section a1200-a1350) then we're all going to die.

Posted by: Christopher R Taylor at March 14, 2017 05:47 PM (39g3+)

173 And the hallways better be spotless or it's coming out of your last paycheck.

Posted by: Jefe El Donaldo at March 14, 2017 05:47 PM (HgMAr)

174 158 Zucker, get Catfood Hunter and Sickfromzika up and throwing, and tell Risingseas to start stretching.
Posted by: Manager Yogi Soros on the dugout phone at March 14, 2017 05:45 PM (W2Pxx)
----
Whaaaa...?

Posted by: All Hail Eris, She-Wolf of the 'Ettes 'Ettes at March 14, 2017 05:47 PM (EnKk6)

175 Ft Sumter 2017 anyone?
Posted by: havildar-major
-------------

We're ready when you are.

Posted by: Citadel Cadet, at The Battery, casually tamping home a charge at March 14, 2017 05:47 PM (ZO497)

176 well, this is good for motivating rinos to get the repealing and get tax cuts and reform passed too. delaying those means Trump has find new ways to make his base happy.

Posted by: yankeefifth at March 14, 2017 05:47 PM (cPsPa)

177 (d)(vii) justify the existence of this agency and its authority to enforce regulations within the framework of the enumerated powers stated in the Constitution.

Posted by: TexasDan at March 14, 2017 05:47 PM (yL25O)

178 All you "Czars"? You're fired, too.

Posted by: Jefe El Donaldo at March 14, 2017 05:43 PM (HgMAr)

All you "Specials" that are not Special Agents or Special Prosecutors are gone too.

Posted by: Sherry McEvil

Also fired, anyone whose job has "under" in it.

Posted by: Bruce at March 14, 2017 05:47 PM (8ikIW)

179 Ok, time to barricade the memorials. Get out there and shut down all the national parks. Someone needs to get a big ass tarp to put over Mt Rushmore! We've got to protect our phony baloney jobs, people!

Posted by: US Park Service at March 14, 2017 05:48 PM (kTF2Z)

180 Whaaaa...?
Posted by: All Hail Eris
--------

Yeah, my Meme-unpacker just stripped a gear.

Posted by: Mike Hammer, etc., etc. at March 14, 2017 05:48 PM (ZO497)

181 Also fired, anyone whose job has "under" in it.

Posted by: Bruce at March 14, 2017 05:47 PM (8ikIW)

Underdog: Shit!

Posted by: TheQuietMan at March 14, 2017 05:48 PM (493sH)

182 Meanwhile Tillerson told the UN to straighten up their act in the UN Human Rights council or the US is outta here.

(Totally unrelated, Memorandum ran a story about Germany pulling out of the League of Nations in 193

Posted by: Christopher R Taylor at March 14, 2017 05:48 PM (39g3+)

183 163 >>Trump Administration hints it might cut UN funding by 50%.

squirt
Posted by: JackStraw at March 14, 2017 05:46 PM (/tuJf)

Predictably about this from MSM already today. Children in poor countries wont get their vaccines, the current peace all over the earth (lol) will break out in war....yadda yadda...seriously this was said.

Posted by: Shit-Weasels Local 504 at March 14, 2017 05:49 PM (L7t0A)

184 Schumer and Pelosi are already threatening to shut down the government if the funding for Abortions R Us is pulled.

Posted by: Old Blue release the KrakenTrump at March 14, 2017 05:49 PM (9iR5/)

185 175 Ft Sumter 2017 anyone?
Posted by: havildar-major
-------------

We're ready when you are.
Posted by: Citadel Cadet, at The Battery, casually tamping home a charge at March 14, 2017 05:47 PM (ZO497)

Pickens or Haynesworth?

Posted by: Minuteman at March 14, 2017 05:49 PM (0i9eW)

186 193-smiley face ?

Posted by: runner at March 14, 2017 05:49 PM (c6/9Q)

187 When I say spotless I mean not one speck of feces or TP, and you will lick the floors on your way out.

Posted by: Jefe El Donaldo at March 14, 2017 05:49 PM (HgMAr)

188 One true loss will be all the nice people over at the Federal Department of we don't give a flying crap.

Posted by: Strobe at March 14, 2017 05:49 PM (gbWkA)

189 not a purge or elimination of agencies, but a step in the right direction. pretty v ague and arbitrary, though.

Posted by: musical jolly chimp at March 14, 2017 05:49 PM (WTSFk)

190 I mean EVERY government agency will swear up and down they are vital to the public, efficient and need every penny and employee.
====

Yeah... But the EO gives Mulvaney plenty of authority to make his own determinations about that. (What kind of a guy is he, by the way?)

Posted by: Geronimo Stilton at March 14, 2017 05:49 PM (PXbkt)

191 "In developing the proposed plan described in subsection (c) of this
section, the Director shall consider, in addition to any other relevant
factors:"

THE TENTH AMENDMENT.

Posted by: torquewrench at March 14, 2017 05:49 PM (noWW6)

192 Also fired, anyone whose job has "under" in it.

Posted by: Bruce
--------

Oh, oh.

Posted by: Mike Hammer's BVD's at March 14, 2017 05:50 PM (ZO497)

193 1938 ?

Posted by: runner at March 14, 2017 05:50 PM (c6/9Q)

194 Schumer and Pelosi are already threatening to shut down the government if the funding for Abortions R Us is pulled.

Posted by: Old Blue release the KrakenTrump at March 14, 2017 05:49 PM (9iR5/)

So will poor people, the elderly, and the chirren all die because of a government shut down or does that only happen if the Republicans do it?

Posted by: TheQuietMan at March 14, 2017 05:50 PM (493sH)

195 177 (d)(vii) justify the existence of this agency and its authority to enforce regulations within the framework of the enumerated powers stated in the Constitution.

Posted by: TexasDan at March 14, 2017 05:47 PM (yL25O)

yes yes f*ck yes.

Posted by: Shit-Weasels Local 504 at March 14, 2017 05:50 PM (L7t0A)

196 109 Trump should issue a affirmative action hiring plan:

50% of all government workers in non-military agencies must be veterans.

Each agency will have one year to accomplish this.

That should scare off the progressives.

Posted by: William Eaton at March 14, 2017 05:38 PM (MuTTO)

THIS.

Posted by: Ladylibertarian at March 14, 2017 05:50 PM (TdMsT)

197 small change but lets get rid of the adcouncil money, especially whatever goes to the quit wasting food commercials.

Posted by: yankeefifth at March 14, 2017 05:50 PM (cPsPa)

198 One thing that Trump knows is that a lot of those absolutely necessary federal jobs are just patronage--you vote for my bill and I will get your useless idiot deadbeat daughter/son/cousin/aunt/uncle/grandparent/mom/dad/etc a job at such and such an agency and I will put it in their file that they can never be filed because they are a key employee.

Posted by: Sherry McEvil, Stiletto Corsettes, who is now luxuriating in vast pools of winning! at March 14, 2017 05:51 PM (kXoT0)

199 Over 73 today and 75 expected tomorrow along the Colorado front range. The Indian Peaks due west, rising up over the Flatirons, look like a big jagged row of white teeth.

Meanwhile, on the ground, it is progressive leftist smug and rage, 24/7. We have to live here because family, but have never hated where we live, like we do now.

H got over 70 percent of the vote in Boulder, and down in Denver, she got almost 75 percent. Since a bunch of dopes voted Johnson and Bernie, Trump got about one in five votes.

The neighborhoods all around, while not permitting campaign signs any longer, allow other signage, and the blue and white signs are everywhere proclaiming "no room for hate here" or some bullshit. Virtue signals.

Posted by: Les Kinetic at March 14, 2017 05:51 PM (U6f54)

200 This type of directive never ever works. It generally results in departments needing to expand in order to have resources to study how to increase efficiency.

There are two systems that work. 1, you have then rank every dollar spent and then cut the bottom. Or, 2, you just cut the budget and then tell them to figure out how.

I am not saying Trump is not serious, but I think anyone with a business background, (as opposed to a finance, marketing, real estate and "deals" background) would know that asking if it is OK to cut is never viable.

I have worked in companies that had 200 people departments doing the job of 10. If you asked the manager how to cut, maybe he would offer up a couple interns but he was incapable of cutting 95% of his empire. And this is in the private market.

Posted by: Gentlemen, this is democracy manifest at March 14, 2017 05:51 PM (LWu6U)

201 An easy way to cut down the government is to make everyone write out the Constitutional justification for their job followed by a fiscal justification for their job,

Posted by: Minuteman at March 14, 2017 05:51 PM (0i9eW)

202 Meanwhile at the rate McConnel is getting Trumps appointments through the Senate they should be finished in 6-8 years.

Also they plan to take most of April off.

The GOP is an illigitimate political party mainly composed of free agents and cuntrags with a smattering of useful actors.

Posted by: Kreplach at March 14, 2017 05:51 PM (+lv+r)

203 Underdog: Shit!

Posted by: TheQuietMan

New EO.
Underdog shall heretofore be known as TOPdog!

Posted by: Bruce at March 14, 2017 05:51 PM (8ikIW)

204 In Calli we truck our fish to the breeding grounds, don't you?

Posted by: Tinfoilbaby at March 14, 2017 05:51 PM (6Ll1u)

205 let's get rid of government advertising all together, except military recruiting commercials that are cool.

Posted by: yankeefifth at March 14, 2017 05:52 PM (cPsPa)

206 Pickens or Haynesworth?
Posted by: Minuteman
-------------

*yanks lanyard*

Posted by: Haynesworth at March 14, 2017 05:52 PM (NBHj5)

207 Schumer and Pelosi are already threatening to shut down the government if the funding for Abortions R Us is pulled.

Posted by: Old Blue release the KrakenTrump at March 14, 2017 05:49 PM (9iR5/)

So we should be cheering this on then, right? Because shutting down the government is the worst thing ever for a party to be doing?

Posted by: blaster at March 14, 2017 05:52 PM (HV1LS)

208 ... but i'vr been listening to a lot of cream recently and not vague or arbitrary, but brilliant and precise. amazing how they play with time within standard rock and blues signatures. great stuff. highly recommended!

Posted by: musical jolly chimp at March 14, 2017 05:52 PM (WTSFk)

209 While I applaud this EO, I'd feel better about it if there were more of PDT's people in the driver seats... and less Obamites.

I can pretty much figure what the remaining hold-overs will do with this EO, and 'implementation' isn't one of the choices.

On the plus side, refusal (& foot-dragging) to comply with EO *will* be just cause for... "You're fired!"

So there is that.

Posted by: CPT. Charles at March 14, 2017 05:52 PM (ry4ab)

210 Momma' s little babies love shorten' bread.

Posted by: Strobe at March 14, 2017 05:52 PM (gbWkA)

211 you know, if the Dems introduce a resolution in the House to impeach Trump and it gets most of the Dems to vote for it and no Repubs, the Dems will still take this as proof that Trump must resign.

Posted by: mallflu suPreme at March 14, 2017 05:52 PM (b7fwp)

212
I remember not so fondly, during the Reagan administration, running afoul of OSHA. So I swamped them in paper, requesting 'clarification' -- of basically any and everything.

So, weeks later, some OSHA dude appears at my door, helmet in hand. 'Listen', he said. 'We don't have secretaries, we don't have computers, we don't even have paper. Would you please stop?'

/ Reaganomics ftw

Posted by: E Depluribus Unum at March 14, 2017 05:52 PM (ZFUt7)

213 184; shut it down for sixty days, minimum. nobody will miss any of it. stupid commie fucks. government shutdowns hurt noone of substance.

Posted by: chavez the hugo at March 14, 2017 05:53 PM (KP5rU)

214 Eliminating "Unnecessary" Agencies, Offices, and Programs

It appears that last shot to implement my plan to reduce government by firing all the "nonessential personnel" who didn't show up due to the blizzard is probably done for this winter.

Posted by: tu3031 at March 14, 2017 05:53 PM (qJhUV)

215 Also fired, anyone whose job has "under" in it.

Posted by: Bruce
--------

Oh, oh.

Posted by: Mike Hammer's BVD's at March 14, 2017 05:50 PM (ZO497)
............

Well, there's on job we may have to keep. For the public safety.

Posted by: Jefe El Donaldo at March 14, 2017 05:53 PM (HgMAr)

216 Cutting UN funding by 50% would make me very happy.

Posted by: Tuna at March 14, 2017 05:53 PM (jm1YL)

217 Underdog will become Mad dog.

Posted by: Bertram Cabot, Jr. at March 14, 2017 05:53 PM (IqV8l)

218 PDT should tell the Left to help or to fuck off.

Posted by: Nevergiveup at March 14, 2017 05:53 PM (SjImc)

219
The Trump Years: Help! I've Got A Schadenboner That Won't Go Away!

Posted by: Krebs v Carnot: Epic Battle of the Cycling Stars (TM) at March 14, 2017 05:53 PM (v1g1+)

220 Yes.

Ad Council. Get up against the wall.

Posted by: garrett at March 14, 2017 05:53 PM (Gbk/a)

221 small change but lets get rid of the adcouncil money, especially whatever goes to the quit wasting food commercials

Agreed. Virtue signaling polluting our airwaves.

Posted by: Notorious BFD at March 14, 2017 05:53 PM (Tyii7)

222 Cutting UN funding by 50% would make me very happy.
Posted by: Tuna at March 14, 2017 05:53 PM (jm1YL)

Do I hear 51%?

Posted by: Nevergiveup at March 14, 2017 05:53 PM (SjImc)

223 fucking. loving. fucking. it.

#winning.

Posted by: oddnot enjoying #winning still with schadenboner to prove it at March 14, 2017 05:54 PM (g1MTt)

224 I'm a lifelong conservative, but Mr. Trump's chaotic, reckless assault on our federal government will disproportionally harm the poor and immigrant communities.

Now is the time for fiscally sensible Republicans to oppose any extremist actions that do not have bi-partisan support.

Posted by: Susan Olivia Cuthbertson-Klein at March 14, 2017 05:54 PM (ismre)

225 173 And the hallways better be spotless or it's coming out of your last paycheck.
Posted by: Jefe El Donaldo at March 14, 2017 05:47 PM (HgMAr)

Bwahahahaha!!!

Posted by: Ladylibertarian at March 14, 2017 05:54 PM (TdMsT)

226 Also. Anyone caught taking a shit in the hall. You're Fired! What is wrong with you? Really? Sad!

Posted by: Donald Trump's Presidential Forhead Merkin at March 14, 2017 05:55 PM (Gbk/a)

227 Cutting UN funding by 50% would make me very happy.
Posted by: Tuna at March 14, 2017 05:53 PM (jm1YL)

Do I hear 51%?
Posted by: Nevergiveup
-------------

But, but...that will destroy your chance of ever getting to wear a blue helmet.

Posted by: Mike Hammer, etc., etc. at March 14, 2017 05:55 PM (ZO497)

228
216 Cutting UN funding by 50% would make me very happy.
Posted by: Tuna at March 14, 2017 05:53 PM (jm1YL)

Telling them to hie their worthless asses to Brussels by 2018 would be the perfect second step.

Posted by: Krebs v Carnot: Epic Battle of the Cycling Stars (TM) at March 14, 2017 05:55 PM (v1g1+)

229 But without us, who will poop in your hallways? Who will destroy your rivers? Who will game lawsuits into changing policy and paying off radical allies? WHO WILL SAVE THE CHILDREN???

Posted by: EPA workers at March 14, 2017 05:55 PM (39g3+)

230 In Calli we truck our fish to the breeding grounds, don't you?

They're too stupid to swim?

Posted by: Blanco Basura at March 14, 2017 05:56 PM (4WhSY)

231 But, but...that will destroy your chance of ever getting to wear a blue helmet.
Posted by: Mike Hammer, etc., etc. at March 14, 2017 05:55 PM (ZO497)

If one's life long desire is to wear a POWDER blue helmet, go to any Tiffany's and I am sure they can accommodate one.

Posted by: Sherry McEvil, Stiletto Corsettes, who is now luxuriating in vast pools of winning! at March 14, 2017 05:56 PM (kXoT0)

232 well, Rick Perry and Scott Pruitt may have lots of ideas about the necessity of their agencies.

Posted by: yankeefifth at March 14, 2017 05:56 PM (cPsPa)

233
Ad Council. Get up against the wall.
Posted by: garrett

Send it to the forest.

Posted by: Bertram Cabot, Jr. at March 14, 2017 05:56 PM (IqV8l)

234 This is literally what Hitler did. Learn some history.
Posted by: mugiwara at March 14, 2017 05:34 PM (PCFYt)

1. fix the economy and get economic engines running
2. profit
3. put your opponents in genocide camps and steal whole countries
4 moar profit!

No wonder Hitler screwed up, he deviated from the underpants gnomes list of success! Dumkopf.

Posted by: LizLem at March 14, 2017 05:56 PM (hvf9s)

235 Just doin' my job.

Posted by: Hallway Pooper at March 14, 2017 05:57 PM (Tyii7)

236 But, but...that will destroy your chance of ever getting to wear a blue helmet.
Posted by: Mike Hammer, etc., etc. at March 14, 2017 05:55 PM (ZO497)

Well it's not Caroline Blue

Posted by: Nevergiveup at March 14, 2017 05:57 PM (SjImc)

237 This is so weird.

Government can never be slashed. "There is nothing so permanent as a temporary government program".

How can it fucking be that someone who we elected to fucking eliminate wastNOe in government can simply "eliminate waste"???

NOOOO!1!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Posted by: Steve and Cold Bear at March 14, 2017 05:57 PM (vRcUp)

238 "small change but lets get rid of the adcouncil money"

The Ad Council spots which endlessly drone about how "one in five children in America experiences hunger" never fail to annoy.

So with record expenditures for food stamps, plus additional substantial expenditures in non-food-stamp welfare benefits which may be used to purchase food or offset food purchasing, plus free school lunches, plus now free school breakfasts and dinners, plus now schools opening their cafeterias to serve free breakfasts, lunches and dinners at times of the year when school isn't in session -- how in the world is it even physically possible for this assertion to be true?

Oh! It's not true. It's only true with a wildly expansive and unselective and ridiculous definition of "experiencing hunger". Which doesn't stop the Ad Council from repeating this nonsensical canard ad infinitum.

Posted by: torquewrench at March 14, 2017 05:57 PM (noWW6)

239 The answer to your question, number 29, is Chuckie Schumer and San Fran Nan and Lyin' Ryan and Post Turtle and Songbird McShame and Grahamnesty and Little Marco and ABCNNBCBS and every one of their dead-tree fellow travelers.

Posted by: Mark Matis at March 14, 2017 05:57 PM (LzG0h)

240 I wonder how much the FDA spends on those stupid TV ads about smoking.

Posted by: mallflu suPreme at March 14, 2017 05:57 PM (b7fwp)

241 So we should be cheering this on then, right? Because shutting down the government is the worst thing ever for a party to be doing

Posted by: blaster at March 14, 2017 05:52 PM (HV1LS)

So they only fund the 'essential services right. So then all the others should stay home forever.

Posted by: GOP Local 504 at March 14, 2017 05:57 PM (L7t0A)

242 Dude, where's my car?

Posted by: Calli-fish at March 14, 2017 05:57 PM (gbWkA)

243 If anyone's interested, the play-in games for the tournament are on TruTV.

Posted by: tu3031 at March 14, 2017 05:58 PM (qJhUV)

244 Telling them to hie their worthless asses to Brussels by 2018 would be the perfect second step.
Posted by: Krebs v Carnot: Epic Battle of the Cycling Stars (TM) at March 14, 2017 05:55 PM (v1g1+)

Oh my, yes, the NYPD would weep for joy at not having to deal with 3rd world warlords committing crimes willy nilly because diplomatic immunity.

Posted by: Sherry McEvil, Stiletto Corsettes, who is now luxuriating in vast pools of winning! at March 14, 2017 05:58 PM (kXoT0)

245 Bad news, Mary Cloggenstein's Global Warming Resistance! seminar has been postponed.

Posted by: Mike Hammer, etc., etc. at March 14, 2017 05:58 PM (ZO497)

246 So so many. NEA should be eliminated. DOJ Civil Rights dept...

Posted by: Under Fire at March 14, 2017 05:59 PM (ymRuQ)

247 I agree with Susan. I, too, am a life long conservative, but I find that this time, the president has gone too far.

Posted by: Prescott Richardson Ian Cuthebertson-Klein at March 14, 2017 05:59 PM (kTF2Z)

248 243 If anyone's interested, the play-in games for the tournament are on TruTV.

Posted by: tu3031 at March 14, 2017 05:58 PM (qJhUV)

--

Go Deacs!

Posted by: Susan Olivia Cuthbertson-Klein at March 14, 2017 05:59 PM (ismre)

249 This type of directive never ever works. It
generally results in departments needing to expand in order to have
resources to study how to increase efficiency.
.....

osted by: Gentlemen, this is democracy manifest at March 14, 2017 05:51 PM (LWu6U)

it may work this time, simply because they probably have an idea what they want to cut; Mulvaney is a budget hawk who was all about cutting waste when in Congress

Posted by: runner at March 14, 2017 05:59 PM (c6/9Q)

250 But, but...that will destroy your chance of ever getting to wear a blue helmet.
Posted by: Mike Hammer, etc., etc. at March 14, 2017 05:55 PM (ZO497)

yeah... about that... we're good.

Posted by: zombie beirut marines at March 14, 2017 05:59 PM (jpW6t)

251 Bad news, Mary Cloggenstein's Global Warming Resistance! seminar has been postponed.

Was it replaced by her Fart Tubing Consortium?

Posted by: Hallway Pooper at March 14, 2017 06:00 PM (Tyii7)

252 Why do you think he's the king? Well, he isn't covered in shit.

Posted by: Strobe at March 14, 2017 06:00 PM (gbWkA)

253 Come on you guys who's going to tell you to buckle your seatbelt and make sure you have good batteries in your flashlight? What about the children.? Who's going to tell you about them??

Posted by: The Sad Council at March 14, 2017 06:00 PM (BO/km)

254
In Calli we truck our fish to the breeding grounds, don't you?

They're too stupid to swim?

Too lazy.

Posted by: tu3031 at March 14, 2017 06:01 PM (qJhUV)

255 240 I wonder how much the FDA spends on those stupid TV ads about smoking.
Posted by: mallflu suPreme at March 14, 2017 05:57 PM (b7fwp)

not nearly enough, apparently.

Posted by: guy with hole in throat at March 14, 2017 06:01 PM (jpW6t)

256 >>> et's get rid of government advertising all together, except military recruiting commercials that are cool. Posted by: yankeefifth at March 14, 2017 05:52 PM (cPsPa)

Yipes!

Posted by: The Ad Council at March 14, 2017 06:01 PM (hvf9s)

257 Hardest hit: PornHub

Posted by: wth at March 14, 2017 06:01 PM (HgMAr)

258 PERSIST WE MUCH!

Posted by: Al Sharpton at March 14, 2017 06:01 PM (IqV8l)

259
Also they plan to take most of April off.

Aren't they supposed to be busy getting Gorsuch confirmed in April?

Posted by: Deplorable Male Logic at March 14, 2017 06:01 PM (lKyWE)

260 Was it replaced by her Fart Tubing Consortium?
Posted by: Hallway Pooper
----------------

Well, they are ass-deep in snow, so I'm uncertain.

Posted by: Mike Hammer, etc., etc. at March 14, 2017 06:02 PM (ZO497)

261 So with record expenditures for food stamps, plus additional substantial expenditures in non-food-stamp welfare benefits which may be used to purchase food or offset food purchasing, plus free school lunches, plus now free school breakfasts and dinners, plus now schools opening their cafeterias to serve free breakfasts, lunches and dinners at times of the year when school isn't in session -- how in the world is it even physically possible for this assertion to be true?

Posted by: torquewrench at March 14, 2017 05:57 PM (noWW6)

Parents too high on drugs or just too lazy or the obese who eat an entire grocery cart of food just themselves can result in hungry children. Here in Tulsa, those children get a backpack of food that they can eat over weekends, etc. The problem is what it always is with kids--BAD neglectful parents--not the lack of available free nutritious food.

Posted by: Sherry McEvil, Stiletto Corsettes, who is now luxuriating in vast pools of winning! at March 14, 2017 06:02 PM (kXoT0)

262 254
In Calli we truck our fish to the breeding grounds, don't you?

They're too stupid to swim?

Too lazy.

Are these, by any chance, Japanese fish?

Posted by: havildar-major at March 14, 2017 06:02 PM (jpW6t)

263 177 (d)(vii) justify the existence of this agency and its authority to enforce regulations within the framework of the enumerated powers stated in the Constitution.
Posted by: TexasDan at March 14, 2017 05:47 PM (yL25O)

Hey! stop it with all the sexy-talk. I'm trying to concentrate.

Posted by: moronhorde minion at March 14, 2017 06:02 PM (88jeI)

264 Several departments could easily be wiped off the face of the earth with no negative consequences at all but that's far too much to ask.

Posted by: Christopher R Taylor at March 14, 2017 06:02 PM (39g3+)

265 Yay !

#NotTiredOfWinningYet!

*notices that it's after 5, goes to investigate status of Strategic Cheap Beer Reserve*

Posted by: sock_rat_Eitel_McCullough at March 14, 2017 06:02 PM (sZhE2)

266 247 I agree with Susan. I, too, am a life long conservative, but I find that this time, the president has gone too far.

Posted by: Prescott Richardson Ian Cuthebertson-Klein at March 14, 2017 05:59 PM (kTF2Z)

Well I just joined the Republican party today so i can change it from the inside.

But but....now I cant get out of bed because...Nazis and shit.

*weeps*

Posted by: Libtard Local 504 at March 14, 2017 06:02 PM (L7t0A)

267 well, Rick Perry and Scott Pruitt may have lots of ideas about the necessity of their agencies.
Posted by: yankeefifth
________

Rick Perry went from campaigning on eliminating the Dept of Energy, but jumped at the job offer to head the agency and later said he regretted wanting to eliminate the agency and that's actually vital to the country.

See how that works? Once it's their fiefdom, it's super important. That's why I'm skeptical about the ability of these agencies to really trim themselves.

But I hope I'm wrong and it's setting the stage for massive downsizing.

Posted by: Maritime at March 14, 2017 06:02 PM (1WzUn)

268 US out of UN
UN out of US

Posted by: Uncle Jefe at March 14, 2017 06:03 PM (qOaog)

269 My dick just yelled, "OK, OK! I'LL GET YOU THE MONEY!"

Posted by: Colorado Alex In Exile at March 14, 2017 06:03 PM (Tnhbr)

270 When you see tumbleweeds rolling down K Street, then you'll know I'm tired of winning.

Posted by: mrp at March 14, 2017 06:03 PM (Pqytn)

271 Well, they are ass-deep in snow, so I'm uncertain.

A tube extension should fix that.

Posted by: Hallway Pooper at March 14, 2017 06:03 PM (Tyii7)

272 I hate to break this to you, number 211, but there would be no shortage of Republican votes for that as well. Most likely including the Speaker as well as the rest of the Rove Republicans. And they could probably easily get 60 votes in the Senate as well, from the same "players".

Posted by: Mark Matis at March 14, 2017 06:03 PM (LzG0h)

273 238 "small change but lets get rid of the adcouncil money"

The Ad Council spots which endlessly drone about how "one in five children in America experiences hunger" never fail to annoy.

So with record expenditures for food stamps, plus additional substantial expenditures in non-food-stamp welfare benefits which may be used to purchase food or offset food purchasing, plus free school lunches, plus now free school breakfasts and dinners, plus now schools opening their cafeterias to serve free breakfasts, lunches and dinners at times of the year when school isn't in session -- how in the world is it even physically possible for this assertion to be true?

Oh! It's not true. It's only true with a wildly expansive and unselective and ridiculous definition of "experiencing hunger". Which doesn't stop the Ad Council from repeating this nonsensical canard ad infinitum.
Posted by: torquewrench at March 14, 2017 05:57 PM (noWW6)

It is inherently wrong to be propagandized and have to pay for it with tax money.

Posted by: Minuteman at March 14, 2017 06:03 PM (0i9eW)

274 Bad news, Mary Cloggenstein's Global Warming Resistance! seminar has been postponed.

Was it replaced by her Fart Tubing Consortium?

The Foundation for Cat Reproductive Rights.

Posted by: tu3031 at March 14, 2017 06:03 PM (qJhUV)

275
8 This is like that business practice where you have to reapply for your own job by justifying what you do*.

This is what happens when you have a results-driven businessman at the helm.

*No, thank God I have never had to do this.
Posted by: All Hail Eris, She-Wolf of the 'Ettes 'Ettes at March 14, 2017 05:23 PM (EnKk6)

I had to do that once, around 1991 or so. So did every salaried worker in the department of about 9,000 people (~ 1,000 people). It was humbling, but I felt comfortable that my skills and experience matched up well with the anticipated direction in which we were headed.

We also had to take one week off without pay in 2009 or 2010.

Government workers at the federal level are long overdue for this exercise. Pull everyone into an auditorium. "Look to your left. Now look to your right. One of the three of you no longer has a future here."

Posted by: Krebs v Carnot: Epic Battle of the Cycling Stars (TM) at March 14, 2017 06:03 PM (v1g1+)

276 I hope this stuff is killing #Nevers

Posted by: Skip at March 14, 2017 06:03 PM (HDU3V)

277 here's another EO the Boss might consider: if two or more Federal Agencies issue contradicting rules, none of them can be enforced until they come to the same result.

Did I say that badly?

I recall hearing a tale some years ago about a company that made salami, or something like that. Meat and other stuff gets fed into an enclosed processing thingy, salami comes out the other end.

Agriculture Dept inspector says he needs little doors here and here and here so he can take samples for proper temperature, bacteria levels, etc. Company says ok and complies.

OSHA inspector comes in, says the little doors are a hazard and orders them closed off. Company says ok and complies.

When the Ag guy shows up, he wants the doors. When the OSHA guy shows up, he again orders them closed.

Company finds it's facing fines from whichever gov't agency doesn't get what it wants. Your government in action, for your own good.

Posted by: mallflu suPreme at March 14, 2017 06:04 PM (b7fwp)

278 In the future Jerry Brown invisions salmon and trout being delivered by High Speed Rail .

Posted by: Tinfoilbaby at March 14, 2017 06:05 PM (6Ll1u)

279 When you see tumbleweeds rolling down K Street, then you'll know I'm tired of winning.
Posted by: mrp
----------

SEE! SEE! We told you, dammit. Those tumbleweeds are from Russia.*

*Weirdly, this is true.

Posted by: The media at March 14, 2017 06:05 PM (ZO497)

280 In the future Jerry Brown invisions salmon and trout being delivered by High Speed Rail .
Posted by: Tinfoilbaby at March 14, 2017 06:05 PM (6Ll1u)

Will they have a stop in the guaranteed income laboratory to temporarily raise the IQ of said lab?

Posted by: Sherry McEvil, Stiletto Corsettes, who is now luxuriating in vast pools of winning! at March 14, 2017 06:06 PM (kXoT0)

281
Does that count against him on the jobs report though?
Posted by: Bruce at March 14, 2017 05:25 PM (8ikIW)

Sure, but so what? I am sure with their mad skillz rach and every one of those released will find gainful employment setving lattes, parking cars or flipping burgers.

Posted by: Krebs v Carnot: Epic Battle of the Cycling Stars (TM) at March 14, 2017 06:06 PM (v1g1+)

282 I'm baaa-uuuuk. Unh. Ooooo. Yes! God yes! Uhhhhhhh! Ooooooohhhhhhh! Daaamn. Uhhh.

Posted by: Guy Who Cannot Stop Splooging at March 14, 2017 06:06 PM (uhftQ)

283 SEE! SEE! We told you, dammit. Those tumbleweeds are from Russia.*

*Weirdly, this is true.
Posted by: The media at March 14, 2017 06:05 PM (ZO497)

Russian thistles, tis true.

Posted by: Sherry McEvil, Stiletto Corsettes, who is now luxuriating in vast pools of winning! at March 14, 2017 06:06 PM (kXoT0)

284 Even though I am a life long republican, I now find myself agreeing with Chuck Schumer and Nancy Pelosi.

Posted by: Prescott Richardson Ian Cuthebertson-Klein at March 14, 2017 06:07 PM (kTF2Z)

285 Did you know that salt is a vital part of our everyday lives?

*** sobs quietly ***

Brought to you by:

Posted by: The Sad Council at March 14, 2017 06:07 PM (BO/km)

286 Hardest hit: PornHub

Posted by: wth

PornHub -- top 40 in Internet traffic. They probably have a 'server farm' which uses enough electricity to power a small city.

You know who passed them in traffic a few short weeks ago? A website that bears the name of Andrew Breitbart.

Paradigm shifts are shifting.

Posted by: E Depluribus Unum at March 14, 2017 06:07 PM (ZFUt7)

287 With all of this winning, now would be a good time to stock up on cabbage, potatoes, and whiskey.

Posted by: Fritz at March 14, 2017 06:08 PM (YAPkP)

288 264 Several departments could easily be wiped off the face of the earth with no negative consequences at all but that's far too much to ask.
Posted by: Christopher R Taylor at March 14, 2017 06:02 PM (39g3+)

Some could be wiped out with POSITIVE consequences, but that's too much to ask.

Posted by: Minuteman at March 14, 2017 06:08 PM (0i9eW)

289 In the future Jerry Brown is a salmon.

Posted by: Killerdog at March 14, 2017 06:08 PM (AReXo)

290
In other news, the Texas Legislature is considering a bill to outlaw fapping while zombiefied.

Posted by: Sphynx at March 14, 2017 06:08 PM (OZmbA)

291 >>> In the future Jerry Brown invisions salmon and trout being delivered by High Speed Rail .

My favorite Captain Beefheart album.

Posted by: fluffy at March 14, 2017 06:09 PM (jw2Xw)

292 Heh. Temp has dropped 5 deg in the last hour, now 25.

Posted by: The media at March 14, 2017 06:09 PM (ZO497)

293 Ad Council. Get up against the wall.
Posted by: garrett

Isn't it true that the press is always first against the wall in the revolution?

Posted by: Ladylibertarian at March 14, 2017 06:10 PM (TdMsT)

294 In the future Jerry Brown is a salmon.
========

A schnook salmon, I'm sure.

Posted by: mrp at March 14, 2017 06:10 PM (Pqytn)

295 we should get rid of some agencies but we should charter an agency of bacon.

Posted by: yankeefifth at March 14, 2017 06:10 PM (cPsPa)

296 When are we going to get Smart Sock technology?

Posted by: Mike Hammer, etc., etc. at March 14, 2017 06:10 PM (ZO497)

297 >>well, Rick Perry and Scott Pruitt may have lots of ideas about the necessity of their agencies.

IT'S FUNNY BECAUSE THE LEFT COULDN'T UNDERSTAND WHY TRUMP WOULD HIRE PEOPLE TO HEAD AGENCIES THEY DISLIKED.

Posted by: BEN ROETHLISBERGER at March 14, 2017 06:11 PM (NOIQH)

298 >>> Isn't it true that the press is always first against the wall in the revolution?

Let's do lampposts this time.

Posted by: fluffy at March 14, 2017 06:11 PM (jw2Xw)

299 Meanwhile CNN tweets with amazement that statue of little girl near the Wall Street Bull has not moved despite the stone storm...

Posted by: Christopher R Taylor at March 14, 2017 06:11 PM (39g3+)

300 Hardest hit: PornHub

Posted by: wth

PornHub -- top 40 in Internet traffic. They probably have a 'server farm' which uses enough electricity to power a small city.

You know who passed them in traffic a few short weeks ago? A website that bears the name of Andrew Breitbart.

Paradigm shifts are shifting.
Posted by: E Depluribus Unum at March

well straight porn is going to go way down but gay pajama boy porn is going to go straight up.

Posted by: yankeefifth at March 14, 2017 06:11 PM (cPsPa)

301 296
When are we going to get Smart Sock technology?

#twoweeks

Posted by: Old Blue release the KrakenTrump at March 14, 2017 06:11 PM (9iR5/)

302 President Trump is doing what he said he would do.

Reduce the spending of the fat cats in Washington DC and put his boot up in the crack of Hillary's ass.

So far, so good.

Posted by: Hairyback Guy at March 14, 2017 06:11 PM (5VlCp)

303 In the future Jerry Brown is a salmon.

Posted by: Killerdog at March 14, 2017 06:08 PM (AReXo)
.............

In the present Shep Smith is a guppy.

Posted by: wth at March 14, 2017 06:12 PM (HgMAr)

304 In the future Jerry Brown invisions salmon, trout, and a octopus in a polyethylene bag being delivered by fast and bulbous High Speed Rail .

"My favorite Captain Beefheart album."

Fixed it for YOU!

Posted by: freaked at March 14, 2017 06:12 PM (BO/km)

305 I think we should get "low rider" on a infinite loop and pipe it into every federal alphabet agency. Then maybe some cowbell.

Posted by: Strobe at March 14, 2017 06:12 PM (gbWkA)

306 you want more evidence that Jerry Brown is a Jerk? In 1992 when he was running against Bill C for the Dem nomination, he was in NYC and turned down a chance for an interview with Howard Stern because it would have interfered with his scheduled morning jog.

Posted by: mallflu suPreme at March 14, 2017 06:12 PM (b7fwp)

307
#295

we should get rid of some agencies but we should charter an agency of bacon.
======================

I propose "The US Agency For Cured Meats And Barbecue"

Posted by: mrp at March 14, 2017 06:12 PM (Pqytn)

308
Why won't Trump do what I want him to do?

Posted by: Mortimer - FINISH HER ! at March 14, 2017 06:12 PM (/hasf)

309 >>> we should get rid of some agencies but we should charter an agency of bacon.

Very bad idea.

Posted by: Zombie Milton Friedman at March 14, 2017 06:12 PM (jw2Xw)

310 Reminder -- today is National Save A Spider Day. If you haven't already, please save one. Do it for the spiderlings.

Posted by: Duncanthrax at March 14, 2017 06:13 PM (DMUuz)

311 >>Some could be wiped out with POSITIVE consequences, but that's too much to ask.

*ahem*

Didn't Trump just do that by eliminating all EPA programs related to climate change?

Posted by: Lizzy at March 14, 2017 06:13 PM (NOIQH)

312 I'm two threads behind.......

content.....

can't.....

keep up.

Posted by: Deplorable Flyover 98ZJUSMC at March 14, 2017 06:13 PM (qoAfa)

313 So, how sad were you that Arnold decided not to run for the Senate? He's a fucking Nazi anyway.

Posted by: Tinfoilbaby at March 14, 2017 06:13 PM (6Ll1u)

314 >>>Let's do lampposts this time.<<<

Stockades, horse whips, and fart-rape.

Posted by: Fritz at March 14, 2017 06:13 PM (YAPkP)

315 Don't think it ever got above 26 ° but what parts I cleared off of drive are melted clean.

Posted by: Skip at March 14, 2017 06:13 PM (HDU3V)

316 Speaking of fish, what happens when some one who self identifies as cat meets a different person who self identifies as a goldfish?

Posted by: Old Blue release the KrakenTrump at March 14, 2017 06:14 PM (9iR5/)

317 When are we going to get Smart Sock technology?

---------------------

I am not a sock! I, sir, am a prick!

Posted by: Prescott Richardson Ian Cuthebertson-Klein at March 14, 2017 06:14 PM (kTF2Z)

318
310 Reminder -- today is National Save A Spider Day. If you haven't already, please save one. Do it for the spiderlings.

I thought it was Pie Day (3.14)?

Posted by: Malcolm Tent at March 14, 2017 06:14 PM (gtQ/3)

319 re 294: ha. reminds me of the cartoon where dawg tells the chicken hawk that foghorn leghorn is a "loudmouthed shnook"

Posted by: mallflu suPreme at March 14, 2017 06:14 PM (b7fwp)

320 Whatever department is responsible for organizing "National (insert pet project here) Day" should be the first to go.

Posted by: Strobe at March 14, 2017 06:15 PM (gbWkA)

321 Never relized until the John Adams mini series tar and fether means hot tar and feathers. Never thought how to get cold tar to stick.

Posted by: Skip at March 14, 2017 06:15 PM (HDU3V)

322 >>Don't think it ever got above 26 � but what parts I cleared off of drive are melted clean.

Global Warming.

Posted by: Bill Nye at March 14, 2017 06:15 PM (Gbk/a)

323 Lovely-scarlet-glow-of-electrons-at-work sock off ....

Posted by: sock_rat_eez, they are gaslighting us 24/7 at March 14, 2017 06:15 PM (sZhE2)

324 It's Pi. Not pie. Pi R Squared. Pie are round.
Thus endeth the lesson.

Posted by: Old Blue release the KrakenTrump at March 14, 2017 06:16 PM (9iR5/)

325 >>Never relized until the John Adams mini series tar and fether means hot tar and feathers. Never thought how to get cold tar to stick.

That's just the appetizer. The meal is when they ride you out of town on a rail.

Posted by: garrett at March 14, 2017 06:16 PM (Gbk/a)

326 What about the Selective Service Commisssion?

Posted by: pawn at March 14, 2017 06:16 PM (CQzD3)

327 So are we having a Tannerite party when the BATF gets eliminated?

Posted by: Country Singer at March 14, 2017 06:16 PM (GUBah)

328
Can you imagine OSHA telling auto mechanics that they can't work on an automobile engine unless the hood is down? That's basically the problem I had with them.

They said the guard must be in place. I said my employee can't do the job I pay them to do if the guard is in place.

You can't reason with these people. But you can take a pairing knife to their budgets. So thanks, PDT. Too late for me, though.

Posted by: E Depluribus Unum at March 14, 2017 06:16 PM (ZFUt7)

329 I propose "The US Agency For Cured Meats And Barbecue"
Posted by: mrp at March 14, 2017 06:12 PM

I have no problem making barbecued brisket our National Dish.

However, despite the acknowledged supremacy of Texas barbecue, we must respect the feelings of other states, such as North Carolina, and even Kentucky, with that stuff they call burgoo.

Posted by: Duncanthrax at March 14, 2017 06:17 PM (DMUuz)

330 Unconstitutional!

Posted by: Some 9th Circuit Shitheel at March 14, 2017 06:17 PM (oVJmc)

331 That's just the appetizer. The meal is when they ride you out of town on a rail.
===========

"If it weren't for the honor of the thing, I'd much rather walk."

Posted by: The Snake Oil Salesman In Lincoln's Story at March 14, 2017 06:17 PM (Pqytn)

332 Damn. Just imagine what might happen once Trump decides he needs to do conservative stuff.

Posted by: Moron Robbie at March 14, 2017 06:18 PM (/f1mm)

333 One was to set a lit torch to the feathers as the finale.

Posted by: Strobe at March 14, 2017 06:18 PM (gbWkA)

334 who's going to fix the sheetrock on my ceiling!!!???!!! damn compass has a mind of its own!!!!

Posted by: DanMan at March 14, 2017 06:18 PM (XTiHL)

335
Government workers at the federal level are long overdue for this exercise. Pull everyone into an auditorium. "Look to your left. Now look to your right. One of the three of you no longer has a future here."
---
*discreetly shanks the govvies to my immediate left and right*

Posted by: All Hail Eris, She-Wolf of the 'Ettes 'Ettes at March 14, 2017 06:18 PM (EnKk6)

336 Y'know, Iran has not been in the headlines much lately.

I'm concerned.

Posted by: Colossus of Ben Rhodes at March 14, 2017 06:18 PM (jpzQ9)

337 Just glanced at the EO. I am sure he will get skewered for this too.

OT Just heard a snippet of The Schnitt trailing off to a commercial break Coming up next was Should Trump apologize .... I don't know what for.

Don't remember anybody ever asking, on practically a daily basis now, Should Obama apologize?

My contact with any media is becoming increasingly limited. Sick of it.

Posted by: gracepc at March 14, 2017 06:18 PM (OU4q6)

338 I thought it was Pie Day (3.14)?
Posted by: Malcolm Tent at March 14, 2017 06:14 PM

Embrace the power of and.

Posted by: Duncanthrax at March 14, 2017 06:18 PM (DMUuz)

339 Zyklon B? Sounds OK to me!

Posted by: Big Bird at March 14, 2017 06:18 PM (ismre)

340
Fixed it for YOU!
Posted by: freaked

High speed rail will go click clack click clack.

Posted by: Bertram Cabot, Jr. at March 14, 2017 06:19 PM (IqV8l)

341 310 Reminder -- today is National Save A Spider Day. If you haven't already, please save one. Do it for the spiderlings.

I thought it was Pie Day (3.14)?
Posted by: Malcolm Tent at March 14, 2017 06:14 PM (gtQ/3)

Its also National Steak and a BJ day!

Yes, a Holiday for Men, 1 month after Valentines Day... to thank them...

Posted by: Don Q. at March 14, 2017 06:20 PM (NgKpN)

342 Grand Funk Railroad is not the same as Grand Funk. Who's your Captain? It's not the locomotion.

Posted by: Tinfoilbaby at March 14, 2017 06:20 PM (6Ll1u)

343
Don't come looking to me for justification, you worthless mofos. I'm skeedaddling to Belize!

-- The Constitution's "Good and Plenty" Clause

Posted by: Krebs v Carnot: Epic Battle of the Cycling Stars (TM) at March 14, 2017 06:20 PM (v1g1+)

344 Don't think it ever got above 26 � but what parts I cleared off of drive are melted clean.
Posted by: Skip at March 14, 2017 06:13 PM

This sounds way more promising than that cloth my wife borrowed and brought home. Could you do me a solid and share your technique(s)?

Posted by: Carlos Danger at March 14, 2017 06:21 PM (DMUuz)

345 In Calli we truck our fish to the breeding grounds, don't you?
They're too stupid to swim?
Too lazy.

Ah no there's been a drought and the rivers and streams they use to get to breeding grounds have been too low or dry.

Posted by: Deplorable Male Logic at March 14, 2017 06:22 PM (lKyWE)

346 There seems to be a pause in the action. Shift change?

Posted by: Strobe at March 14, 2017 06:22 PM (gbWkA)

347
Never relized until the John Adams mini series tar and fether means hot tar and feathers. Never thought how to get cold tar to stick.

Yeah, that was an eye opener, wasn't it?

Posted by: Krebs v Carnot: Epic Battle of the Cycling Stars (TM) at March 14, 2017 06:23 PM (v1g1+)

348 If Trump could manage to squeeze out 7% from spending from now until October he could keep the government in fiscal balance until the next fiscal year.

Squeeze, Trump, squeeze!

Posted by: MAGA at March 14, 2017 06:23 PM (A4HOq)

349 Pie Day?

Uh, which---never mind.

Posted by: Lena Dunham, Naked at March 14, 2017 06:24 PM (j+dfT)

350 Never relized until the John Adams mini series tar and fether means hot tar and feathers. Never thought how to get cold tar to stick.

Yeah, that was an eye opener, wasn't it?
Posted by: Krebs v Carnot: Epic Battle of the

well, cold tar is sticky but it is hard to apply.

Posted by: yankeefifth at March 14, 2017 06:24 PM (cPsPa)

351 Bbbbbut, he's not a CONSERVATIVE!

Posted by: NeverTrumpers! at March 14, 2017 06:24 PM (GzDYP)

352 Hot tar, feathers and one is to set the feather alight.

Posted by: Strobe at March 14, 2017 06:24 PM (gbWkA)

353 Update: Trump Administration hints it might cut UN funding by 50%.

That's what's called "A good start".

Posted by: Nigel West Dickens at March 14, 2017 06:25 PM (OwdyX)

354 In the future Jerry Brown is a salmon.

I was betting on trout.

Posted by: Blanco Basura at March 14, 2017 06:25 PM (4WhSY)

355 Government shutdown = identification of "nonessential" services.

Trump: Cut those identified as nonessential during the shutdown.

Posted by: oddnot enjoying #winning still with schadenboner to prove it at March 14, 2017 06:25 PM (g1MTt)

356 In Soviet Russia, President protests you!

Posted by: Yakov Smirnoff at March 14, 2017 06:26 PM (gtQ/3)

357 Is Trump going to be the first person who actually gets more conservative after being elected? Because I don't think I can take all that winning.

Posted by: alexthechick at March 14, 2017 06:27 PM (dEQP3)

358 I had this dream a few years ago of someone with balls getting elected and firing all the Parks Dept. employees who closed off the monuments around the country during the shutdown.

They actually worked overtime setting up barriers on unmanned parks in order to make them off limits to the public.. because their budgets were being cut.

In the dream everyone who did that would be fired, and then their chain of command, and anyone who knew about it, and then anyone who saw it.

Posted by: Gentlemen, this is democracy manifest at March 14, 2017 06:27 PM (LWu6U)

359 353 Update: Trump Administration hints it might cut UN funding by 50%.

That's what's called "A good start".
Posted by: Nigel West Dickens at March 14, 2017 06:25 PM (OwdyX)

UN... you can't do that!!!

President Trump... OK.... lets go all in then.... cut it all...

Posted by: Don Q. at March 14, 2017 06:27 PM (NgKpN)

360 357 Is Trump going to be the first person who actually gets more conservative after being elected? Because I don't think I can take all that winning.
Posted by: alexthechick at March 14, 2017 06:27 PM (dEQP3)

That's just it.... he's not doing it because... Conservative...

He's doing it because he is a business Man...

You know... as I argued during the election, but most folks around here said it was immaterial?

Posted by: Don Q. at March 14, 2017 06:29 PM (NgKpN)

361 >>Update: Trump Administration hints it might cut UN funding by 50%.

UN: "Then who is going to pay for our yuuuge Climate Change conferences in Fiji?"

Posted by: Lizzy at March 14, 2017 06:31 PM (NOIQH)

362 354 In the future Jerry Brown is a salmon.
I was betting on trout.
Posted by: Blanco Basura at March 14, 2017 06:25 PM (4WhSY)

Delta smelt.

Posted by: Deplorable Jay Guevara at March 14, 2017 06:31 PM (SRKgf)

363 >> You know... as I argued during the election, but most folks around here said it was immaterial?

Well, I for one stand corrected. but in my defense, there is a lot of money to be made by going along with the leviathan.

A business man gets a knot in his stomach when he sees he is wasting his own money. It takes a conservative to get a knot in their stomach when wasting someone else's money.

Posted by: Gentlemen, this is democracy manifest at March 14, 2017 06:31 PM (LWu6U)

364 But there are cold driveway sealers that festhers will stick to just as well, so I'm all for trying it.

Posted by: Skip at March 14, 2017 06:31 PM (HDU3V)

365 And,
an environmentalist is someone who hates to see the environment spoiled, so they change their own behavior.

A progressive (= socialist = fascist) is someone who flys around in a private jet telling others not to produce CO2

Posted by: Gentlemen, this is democracy manifest at March 14, 2017 06:34 PM (LWu6U)

366
Grand Funk Railroad is not the same as Grand Funk. Who's your Captain? It's not the locomotion.
Posted by: Tinfoilbaby

Are you ready?

Posted by: Bertram Cabot, Jr. at March 14, 2017 06:35 PM (IqV8l)

367 CBO called, it will cost the taxpayers more to reduce govt employment and heres why

Posted by: VOX at March 14, 2017 06:35 PM (5Uq5D)

368 Remember many moons ago when the U.N. and various soft power colossi were complaining that the United States wasn't paying its bills, like we were slackers?

And then it turned out we just wanted some accountability for where the money was going, and lo there was the Oil-For-Food scandal, and others, plus the general difficulty in tallying up its actual budget?

Posted by: All Hail Eris, She-Wolf of the 'Ettes 'Ettes at March 14, 2017 06:36 PM (EnKk6)

369 Beware the Jypsies

Posted by: Tinfoilbaby at March 14, 2017 06:36 PM (6Ll1u)

370 354 In the future Jerry Brown is a salmon.
...........

In the past Jerry Brown hallucinated he was a salmon.

Posted by: wth at March 14, 2017 06:36 PM (HgMAr)

371 The Governor and Legislature and Citizens of each State of the United States of America, in view of the restoration of their rightful powers under the Constitution, shall henceforth amend all reference to the Chief Executive of the United States from "President" to:

"Great White Father"

... or other skin color and/or gender as appropriate.

Posted by: Ray Van Dune at March 14, 2017 06:37 PM (LeUrG)

372 In the past Jerry Brown hallucinated he was a salmon.
Posted by: wth at March 14, 2017 06:36 PM (HgMAr)

The past half hour, that is...

Posted by: Country Singer at March 14, 2017 06:37 PM (GUBah)

373 Does Jerry Brown wear a salmon mask or a trout mask?

Posted by: Bertram Cabot, Jr. at March 14, 2017 06:37 PM (IqV8l)

374 A while back, some gal with the UN IPCC basically stated that it wasn't about climate change at all. It was just a way to force the change from free market capitalism to socialism.

Posted by: Old Blue release the KrakenTrump at March 14, 2017 06:38 PM (9iR5/)

375 They announced a state of emergency in my county. Only emergency vehicles allowed on the roads. Even the Walmart in Honesdale is closed. Still snowing....well over two feet here.

Posted by: Sticky Wicket at March 14, 2017 06:38 PM (bQLQX)

376 Trout mask replica.

Posted by: navybrat at March 14, 2017 06:38 PM (w7KSn)

377 Need some help from a 'ron or 'ronette who speakez le Franch:

How do you say "Make France Great Again" in French?

Real French, not online translation French.

Posted by: WhatWhatWhat? at March 14, 2017 06:38 PM (ul9CR)

378 Today's word is "Gulag".

Posted by: Cookie Monster at March 14, 2017 06:38 PM (ismre)

379 Zappa!

Posted by: All Hail Eris, She-Wolf of the 'Ettes 'Ettes at March 14, 2017 06:39 PM (EnKk6)

380 >>A while back, some gal with the UN IPCC basically stated that it wasn't about climate change at all. It was just a way to force the change from free market capitalism to socialism.

So she's restating what the originators of this scam said 40 years ago when they first perpetrated this garbage?

Gee, no kidding.

Posted by: JackStraw at March 14, 2017 06:40 PM (/tuJf)

381 Does Jerry Brown wear a salmon mask or a trout mask?

Ever heard of brown salmon?

Posted by: Blanco Basura at March 14, 2017 06:40 PM (4WhSY)

382 SW, hope you laid in some food and beer. You're gonna be there for a while. You can live for a week without food. You can only live for about 24 hours without beer.

Posted by: Old Blue release the KrakenTrump at March 14, 2017 06:40 PM (9iR5/)

383 Jerry Brown has a Sears poncho

Posted by: Christopher R Taylor at March 14, 2017 06:41 PM (39g3+)

384 Cutting 50% from UN is a start, but kicking their asses out of the USA is a better start. I am all down with funding its removal to Harare.

Posted by: colfax mingo at March 14, 2017 06:42 PM (PX+kj)

385 Update: Trump Administration hints it might cut UN funding by 50%.

I agree with half of that plan.

Now for the other half...

Posted by: mikeski at March 14, 2017 06:42 PM (JmGsr)

386 Maybe Jerry Brown could be a Sockeye Salmon.

Posted by: davidt at March 14, 2017 06:42 PM (XoldI)

387 How can Jerry Brown wear a mask when his head is so far up his ass he can lick his shoulder blades?

Posted by: Old Blue release the KrakenTrump at March 14, 2017 06:42 PM (9iR5/)

388 Jerry Brown's shoes don't make it.

Posted by: freaked at March 14, 2017 06:44 PM (BO/km)

389 Jerry Brown is a shitstain

Posted by: Tinfoilbaby at March 14, 2017 06:44 PM (6Ll1u)

390 I am reminded of that scene from Patton {1970} where the General is directing traffic and screaming go! go! go! I could not find the scene on YT, but it is in the trailer without the dialogue. http://tinyurl.com/kmcfyyj

Posted by: Locke Common at March 14, 2017 06:44 PM (5Fa12)

391 Any man improving the efficiency of the Federal Government spends a night in the box.

Posted by: Clifton James at March 14, 2017 06:45 PM (LTHVh)

392 Has Ryan issued a statement yet?

Posted by: Moron Robbie at March 14, 2017 06:45 PM (/f1mm)

393 A large Kuiper Belt object just went into orbit around my schadenboner.

Posted by: rickl at March 14, 2017 06:46 PM (sdi6R)

394 Nood

Posted by: Prescott Richardson Ian Cuthebertson-Klein at March 14, 2017 06:46 PM (kTF2Z)

395 391
Any man improving the efficiency of the Federal Government spends a night in the box.

Posted by: Clifton James at March 14, 2017 06:45 PM (LTHVh)

Of course. Incentivize.

Posted by: Melania at March 14, 2017 06:47 PM (XoldI)

396 They announced a state of emergency in my county.
Only emergency vehicles allowed on the roads. Even the Walmart in
Honesdale is closed. Still snowing....well over two feet here.

Posted by: Sticky Wicket at March 14, 2017 06:38 PM (bQLQX)
=========================

I've just now escaped from my daughter's house where the blizzard was holding me hostage for two days. Craziest thing. 45 minutes to the west they barely had anything at all. We got the lake effect junk, 13 inches as of this afternoon. I think we're done now though. It was really a weird blizzard - dark fog, spinning snow - like a blizzard tornado.

Posted by: grammie winger at March 14, 2017 06:48 PM (dFi94)

397 Every dollar you spend on closing down a government program actually costs five additional dollars.

Posted by: Max Power at March 14, 2017 06:48 PM (q177U)

398 http://bit.ly/2mq51lk
----
Allen West: I think there's a BIG change coming in the Trump administration

Posted by: EVLINC! at March 14, 2017 06:49 PM (y3aQB)

399 It pleases me to know that lots of people who have been creating self-licking-lollipops for themselves and their departments are going to work tomorrow unsure about their future.

The social workers helping that illegal lady from a couple of weeks ago (protesters surrounded van) knew her status for years, right?

Posted by: Moron Robbie at March 14, 2017 06:49 PM (/f1mm)

400 You have Jerry all wrong, he is a trout-human cyborg. Aiiil be back and never dies. Skynet went active in 2008.

Posted by: colfax mingo at March 14, 2017 06:49 PM (PX+kj)

401 Pretty sure now, after a "snow day," that hubby can't retire unless I build him one of those tiny homes in the yard.

Posted by: dagny at March 14, 2017 06:50 PM (Mc+44)

402 Is there a better TV channel then Comet? Who doesn't like boob's in your movies? Who else plays the best worst movies?

Posted by: Tinfoilbaby at March 14, 2017 06:51 PM (6Ll1u)

403 I'm going to put this here because I need to vent a bit and this seems like a close enough topic. If these a-holes in government really want to do something about having more women in STEM careers, then they need to cut taxes. I have a Ph.D. in a STEM field (electrical computer engineering) and this year I went back to work after a 5-year hiatus to stay home with our young kids. We are just working through our taxes with the accountant and after taxes and child-care expenses 80% of my income is gone. This is mostly due to the hit in tax bracket we take from my added income (like many women in STEM fields, my husband is also in STEM and we were comfortable enough without my income). I'm stressing myself out, missing out on stuff with the kids, fitting in work travel into our family schedules, for what? It's even more annoying because this whole year I was working as an independent contractor, so I got hit with state business taxes and rigamarole I had to pay just for the privilege of employing myself. I'm seriously considering saying fuck-it and going back to being a stay-at-home mom.

Posted by: not the mama at March 14, 2017 06:52 PM (EpAnP)

404
http://bit.ly/2mq51lk

----

Allen West: I think there's a BIG change coming in the Trump administration

Posted by: at March 14, 2017 06:49 PM (y3aQB)

Muslim Brotherhood to be declared an islamic terrorist supporting organization?

Posted by: Burnt Toast at March 14, 2017 06:53 PM (P/kVC)

405 Is Trump going to be the first person who actually gets more
conservative after being elected? Because I don't think I the power grid can take all
that winning.

Fixed it.

Posted by: Colorado Alex In Exile at March 14, 2017 06:56 PM (Tnhbr)

406 If these a-holes in government really want to do something about having more women in STEM careers, then they need to cut taxes.

The entire point of the cultural idea that women HAVE to "have a career" and that they should work in STEM fields, etc. is so they can be taxed.

The taxes are the point.

They could give a rat's ass about "women" other than as "workers" who they can tax.

Posted by: dagny at March 14, 2017 06:56 PM (Mc+44)

407 381 Does Jerry Brown wear a salmon mask or a trout mask?
Ever heard of brown salmon?
Posted by: Blanco Basura at March 14, 2017 06:40 PM (4WhSY)

Sewer trout?

Posted by: Deplorable Jay Guevara at March 14, 2017 06:57 PM (SRKgf)

408 It's even more annoying because this whole year I was working as an independent contractor, so I got hit with state business taxes and rigamarole I had to pay just for the privilege of employing myself. I'm seriously considering saying fuck-it and going back to being a stay-at-home mom.
--

Yep. I'm being punished for being self-employed as well.

Welcome to the club.

/I know three women who married men for their health insurance plans. Two of the three marriages were happy and long lasting. I can understand their motivation....

Posted by: shibumi at March 14, 2017 06:57 PM (FkAXz)

409 >>>>This doesn't sound good for the Department of Departments Department.
.
.
.
.We have noted your concern.

Posted by: The department of Redundency Department at March 14, 2017 06:58 PM (le7jz)

410 If these a-holes in government really want to do something about having more women in STEM careers, then they need to cut taxes.

Why does anyone care about the number of women in STEM fields? The question is "are we short of workers in STEM fields?" If not, then no problem. Never mind the plumbing of the workers. That's irrelevant.

Posted by: Deplorable Jay Guevara at March 14, 2017 06:58 PM (SRKgf)

411 This doesn't sound good for the Department of Departments Department.

The Bureau of Redundancy Department is worried too.

("Yes Minister" featured the totally useless "Department of Administrative Affairs.")

Posted by: Deplorable Jay Guevara at March 14, 2017 07:00 PM (SRKgf)

412 I'm seriously considering saying fuck-it and going back to being a stay-at-home mom.

Posted by: not the mama at March 14, 2017 06:52 PM (EpAnP)

I've found that it's not worth my working. By the time I pay the taxes and transportation, and after school care, it's not worth it. It's not as bad when I freelance, which I do occasionally, but I still end up making so little and spending so much family capital in chaos, stress, etc., it's just not worth it. I'm one year away from not needing after school care, so we'll see.

Posted by: dagny at March 14, 2017 07:02 PM (Mc+44)

413 The taxes are the point.

They could give a rat's ass about "women" other than as "workers" who they can tax.

Posted by: dagny at March 14, 2017 06:56 PM (Mc+44)

I know they don't really care about women (that's a given) but I never thought of it that way. You are totally right. Married women who are high-earners typically have high-earner husbands, and therefore most of their income is going straight back to big brother.ugh, this is really depressing me right now. I want to keep my job to be prepared if something happened to my husband, but damn it's hard to put in so many hours and effort for nothing.

Posted by: not the mama at March 14, 2017 07:03 PM (EpAnP)

414 I've found that it's not worth my working. By the
time I pay the taxes and transportation, and after school care, it's not
worth it. It's not as bad when I freelance, which I do occasionally,
but I still end up making so little and spending so much family capital
in chaos, stress, etc., it's just not worth it. I'm one year away from
not needing after school care, so we'll see.

Posted by: dagny at March 14, 2017 07:02 PM (Mc+44)
Next year my child-care expenses will be less because both kids will be full-time at the same school, and I'm now a regular employee not on contract, but most of the hit for us will still be in taxes.

Posted by: not the mama at March 14, 2017 07:06 PM (EpAnP)

415 Brown Trout (as in turd)

Posted by: Hose A at March 14, 2017 07:07 PM (qC8kc)

416 I'm seriously considering saying fuck-it and going back to being a stay-at-home mom.

Posted by: not the mama at March 14, 2017 06:52 PM (EpAnP)
=========================

I think you should do it. Seriously. I did. Sometimes it just doesn't make financial sense to go back to work. I have advanced degrees in a specialized field. I chucked it. I wish my daughter would do the same. She's in an advanced position in the medical field, and her husband is in a skilled trade that lets them live on one income and pretty much bank the other. They have three children, 7 and younger. Her best investment ( or his, if he wanted to be the one to stay home) is putting in time with the kids. That would give them so much more flexibility and peace. Right now their house is crazy-scheduled.

Posted by: grammie winger at March 14, 2017 07:07 PM (dFi94)

417 As I said earlier... I am pretty sure I love this EO sexually.

Posted by: redbanzai at March 14, 2017 07:09 PM (FTXAT)

418 I want to keep my job to be prepared if something happened to my husband, but damn it's hard to put in so many hours and effort for nothing.

Just take out a bigger insurance policy on him. You know what else? It makes for a nicer life after you get past the "why aren't YOU (of all people) working? Yes, I have all these degrees and from elite schools, but I met a husband with the same thing! And I'm not falling for the left's "we want to tax you too" scheme at the cost of my family and sanity.

Husband is happier because you aren't competing about who does what, kids are FAR happier, etc.

Posted by: dagny at March 14, 2017 07:09 PM (Mc+44)

419 I'm waiting to see what the Daily Beast has to say about all this.

Posted by: jbspry at March 14, 2017 07:10 PM (bxc5w)

420 Will the left need new funny hats in order to protest this properly?

Posted by: Weasel at March 14, 2017 07:19 PM (Sfs6o)

421 Just take out a bigger insurance policy on him. You
know what else? It makes for a nicer life after you get past the "why
aren't YOU (of all people) working? Yes, I have all these degrees and
from elite schools, but I met a husband with the same thing! And I'm not
falling for the left's "we want to tax you too" scheme at the cost of
my family and sanity.

Husband is happier because you aren't competing about who does what, kids are FAR happier, etc.

Posted by: dagny at March 14, 2017 07:09 PM (Mc+44)

yeah, lately I have been regretting missing out on some school activities and have not had healthy habits this past year.
I got over the "why aren't you working" thing a while ago, though. I've pretty much reached the "out of fucks to give" phase of adulthood, at least when it comes to what everyone else is doing or what everyone else thinks about me.

Posted by: not the mama at March 14, 2017 07:19 PM (EpAnP)

422 I'm home from work, awaiting a good meal of baked spaghetti, leftovers w/ Moz cheese mixed in and on top. Busy day, I'm tarred.

So I didn't read comments, but Ace I read your post! Hope Trump actually does something w/ this. For starters WTF do we have 17 intelligence agencies? Can you say redundancies?

And hooray for cutting the UN $$$. Worthless POS that attacks us and Israel, F*** that bloated bureaucracy.

You know what I've noticed...there are some govt employees that post here and defend what they do, never seen anyone defending the huge waste that is the UN.

Posted by: Farmer at March 14, 2017 07:20 PM (o/90i)

423 My guess - every agency will find that every single thing that agency does is vitally critical.

Posted by: George Orwell's Ghost at March 14, 2017 07:25 PM (UgF8H)

424 If someone invented a Department of Mothers tomorrow and the day after tomorrow you cancelled the program, they'd claim you hate motherhood.

Posted by: xnycpeasant at March 14, 2017 07:38 PM (OhTOr)

425 My guess - every agency will find that every single thing that agency does is vitally critical.

Posted by: George Orwell's Ghost at March 14, 2017 07:25 PM (UgF8H)

That is why independent analysis is vital.

Posted by: redbanzai at March 14, 2017 07:42 PM (FTXAT)

426 I do hereby submit that my government job, taxpayer, is a unnecessary position and should be eliminated immediately.
As a show of good faith, I voluntarily resign my position immediately.
I await your confirmation of termination and instructions for applying for retirement.

Posted by: Headless Body of Agnew at March 14, 2017 08:34 PM (FtrY1)

427 Now cut congressional perks, starting with their free health care along with term limits with no retirement benefits till age 65.

Posted by: Greg at March 14, 2017 08:39 PM (ZKu/D)

428 ACE: I am not a Doctor. There are two OTC sleep-aid active ingredients - both are Antihistamines:
#1 is Benedryl� = yawn -
#2 is Doxylamine Succinate: it's in "Walgreens" "Wal-som"� and has more potent, negetive side-effect: Drowsiness, and shorter duration of action
(Winning!) than the #1 seller, for decades.
Bonus: the little blue pills look like Viarga - they don't work that way though at all! (stating that for a friend). Buy the generic #2 and save - read the labels and instructions, duh.

Posted by: MoJoTee at March 14, 2017 08:45 PM (vKbhP)

429 Wonderful article! We will be linking to this particularly great article on our site.
Keep up the great writing.

Posted by: poker chips various at March 16, 2017 11:29 AM (4M/1h)

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