aceofspadeshq at gee mail.com
CBD:
cbd.aoshq at gee mail.com
Buck:
buck.throckmorton at protonmail.com
joe mannix:
mannix2024 at proton.me
MisHum:
petmorons at gee mail.com
J.J. Sefton:
sefton at cutjibnewsletter.com
Wednesday Night ONT: I'm Back!
Welcome to Wednesday's ONT, or as I like to call it, slumming. Should have lots of content tonight, I've been bookmarking stuff for 2 weeks now, but before we get started, remember that this is the internet, where things aren't always what they seem to be.
Troll Level: Master
The best trolls aren't always witty comebacks or catchy bon mots. Sometimes they simply make the target babble at their own contradictions, like this example about Audi's Super Bowl ad:
i'm living in the wrong countrypic.twitter.com/l2GVConjzG
— Taking Five (@TakingFiveHQ) February 6, 2017
But I always thought you personally still recognized the importance of taxes to support a safe, healthy and benevolent society, that you respected the role of government as our way of collectively choosing, supporting, and enforcing our social values, and that you agreed that of course we, who have an abundance of resources, would share with those who don’t, that we are all our brothers’ keepers.It goes on for paragraph after tedious paragraph, frankly anyone who finishes the whole thing deserves a medal. I hate to say it, it's overused, almost a cliché, but some clichés are true: This is how you got Trump in the first place. Of course, never forget that it's the Libs who are the intellectual giants among us.
Almost all armed conflict in the history of the world came about because opposing sides believed different things to be true.
— Neil deGrasse Tyson (@neiltyson) February 16, 2017
Bad Leg! No Bone for You!
When your leg tries to steal your bone ���� pic.twitter.com/1o2EGwYH4r
— CCTV IDIOTS (@cctv_idiots) February 17, 2017
Day care's message to parents goes viral It's a good message too. It's wonderful to be able to be plugged in all the time, but I fear that it's doing real harm to our social skills, and I'm not excluding myself from that judgment. The people on the human ark from Wall-E don't seem as farfetched as they did when the movie came out.
How Children Lost the Right to Roam in Just 4 Generations This is another sore spot for me. I know Little's world isn't as large as mine was at his age. If I let him, he'd be happy to sit glued to his X-Box all day. I do push him out into the world as often as I can, but I'm afraid that often times he just goes down the street and plays video games at a friends house. It doesn't help that there aren't that many kids in our neighborhood, and he no longer wants to play two brothers that he used to ride bikes with (and I don't blame him. They're bi-racial, and one day he mentioned a movie starring Arnold Schwarzenegger, and one of them turned on him and yelled at him him for saying “nigger”. Which he didn't. And the boy didn't care that “Schwarzenegger” was the man's name, he threatened Little. I wouldn't hang out with them either). Families Sue NYC For Reporting Them To Child Services When They Homeschool And yet we're the Fascists. Right.
“All within the state, nothing outside the state, nothing against the state.”Related: Over at Townhall, John Hawkins tries to answer, honestly and without rancor, 20 Questions Liberals Wanted to Ask a Conservative, and follows up with 15 more questions in part 2. A noble effort, but I fear one doomed to failure. Oh, Canada.
-Benito Mussolini
Drunk Canadian Men Arrested for Riding Couch Towed Behind ATV Through McDonalds Drive Thru There's video at the link. I dunno, looks like fun to me. I question the authenticity, however. If they were real Canadians, it would have been a Tim Hortons. They must be from Quebec.
This Has Never Happened to Anybody. Ever.
Ouch What injury is unusually common in your state?
A Smart Military Blog Which is nothing compared to DuffelBlog:Mattis signs order formally recognizing Jalapeno cheese spread as currency at all DoD facilities
Two Stories About How the World Sucks
"I had to:" Man explains "honor" killing sister in Pakistan
200 Million Girls Killed in China, Where Are the Feminists? Bleh. NASA Announces 7 Earth-Size Planets Found Around Single Star, with Some in Habitable Zone I'm ready. Lets go.
Tonight's ONT brought to you by pickup lines:
H/t Christopher Taylor
Comments
(Jump to bottom of comments)Posted by: TexasDan at February 22, 2017 09:59 PM (yL25O)
Posted by: Zettai Ryoiki at February 22, 2017 10:00 PM (kP16F)
Posted by: Michael the TEXIT at February 22, 2017 10:00 PM (nvMvs)
Posted by: Zettai Ryoiki at February 22, 2017 10:00 PM (kP16F)
Posted by: djrichiep at February 22, 2017 10:01 PM (A7jp6)
Posted by: chavez the hugo at February 22, 2017 10:03 PM (KP5rU)
Posted by: Count de Monet at February 22, 2017 10:04 PM (JO9+V)
Posted by: ibguy at February 22, 2017 10:04 PM (vUcdz)
Posted by: TexasDan at February 22, 2017 10:06 PM (yL25O)
Posted by: Batterup at February 22, 2017 10:07 PM (mtGE/)
Posted by: dog at February 22, 2017 10:07 PM (qUNWi)
Posted by: the tits at February 22, 2017 10:07 PM (tHwdc)
Posted by: Miley, the Duchess at February 22, 2017 10:08 PM (tHwdc)
Posted by: boulder terlit hobo at February 22, 2017 10:09 PM (6FqZa)
Posted by: dog at February 22, 2017 10:09 PM (JO9+V)
Posted by: boulder terlit hobo at February 22, 2017 10:09 PM (6FqZa)
Posted by: The Scorpion at February 22, 2017 10:09 PM (DMUuz)
Posted by: Dog Biting His Leg at February 22, 2017 10:09 PM (xnN7n)
supporting, and enforcing our social values
What a pompous gasbag. No wonder his republican "friend" won't talk to him anymore.
Posted by: huerfano at February 22, 2017 10:09 PM (jkkMG)
Posted by: Miley, the Duchess at February 22, 2017 10:09 PM (tHwdc)
Posted by: blaster at February 22, 2017 10:10 PM (HV1LS)
Posted by: Diogenes at February 22, 2017 10:10 PM (0tfLf)
Almost all armed conflict in the history of the world came about because opposing sides believed different things to be true.
4:15 PM - 16 Feb 2017
Holeely sheet, he's an f'ing genius. WTELF?
Posted by: Farmer at February 22, 2017 10:11 PM (o/90i)
Word!
Posted by: Longbow vs Crossbow at February 22, 2017 10:11 PM (W6Ch1)
Posted by: Your Decidedly Devious Uncle Palpatine. Glory to Kekistan! No Longer Accepting Harem Applicants at February 22, 2017 10:11 PM (hlDpZ)
Posted by: Miley, the Duchess at February 22, 2017 10:08 PM
Don't let the girls get chilled!
Posted by: Duncanthrax at February 22, 2017 10:11 PM (DMUuz)
Posted by: Jinx the Cat at February 22, 2017 10:12 PM (xnN7n)
Posted by: Alberta Oil Peon at February 22, 2017 10:12 PM (WDdjT)
Posted by: rickl at February 22, 2017 10:12 PM (sdi6R)
Posted by: dog at February 22, 2017 10:12 PM (qUNWi)
Posted by: dog at February 22, 2017 10:13 PM (qUNWi)
Posted by: Miley, the Duchess at February 22, 2017 10:14 PM (tHwdc)
Posted by: thathalfrican - be water my friend at February 22, 2017 10:14 PM (nDcc3)
Posted by: musical jolly chimp at February 22, 2017 10:14 PM (WTSFk)
Posted by: Alberta Oil Peon at February 22, 2017 10:14 PM (WDdjT)
Posted by: Toby the Beagle at February 22, 2017 10:14 PM (1JnAL)
rly maeks u think
Posted by: hogmartin at February 22, 2017 10:14 PM (8nWyX)
Posted by: Duncanthrax at February 22, 2017 10:11 PM (DMUuz)
I keep them warm in my lap.
Posted by: Miley, the Duchess at February 22, 2017 10:15 PM (tHwdc)
Oh, and Weird Al shows up on "Tim and Eric's Awesome Show (Great Job!)" as a character called Uncle Muscle.
Lots of "stars" of various comedy venues appear on the show, which I only discovered a couple weeks ago, and is now so addictive, I am purchasing dvds, and dread running out.
If you don't know what it is, I'm not going to tell you. You have to find out for yourself.
Posted by: BurtTC at February 22, 2017 10:15 PM (Pz4pT)
Posted by: Farmer at February 22, 2017 10:15 PM (o/90i)
Posted by: Harry Reid at February 22, 2017 10:15 PM (Xpeyq)
Posted by: boulder terlit hobo at February 22, 2017 10:15 PM (6FqZa)
Who hates Trump more!
Come on, Keith, you can win this
Posted by: Ignoramus at February 22, 2017 10:16 PM (bQxkN)
Posted by: Tinfoilbaby at February 22, 2017 10:16 PM (6Ll1u)
Posted by: qdpsteve at February 22, 2017 10:16 PM (u8kLQ)
Posted by: Doug Adams at February 22, 2017 10:16 PM (Tf8s7)
Posted by: Miley, the Duchess at February 22, 2017 10:15 PM (tHwdc)
======
Posted by: Flyboy at February 22, 2017 10:16 PM (YkWXu)
Posted by: Toad-O at February 22, 2017 10:17 PM (cct0t)
Posted by: Grump928(C) at February 22, 2017 10:17 PM (LTHVh)
Jes. Exactly what happen when Paolo do it.
Posted by: Paolo, Gigolo to the Ladies at February 22, 2017 10:17 PM (1JnAL)
Posted by: Nester Wayless at February 22, 2017 10:17 PM (bDO9N)
The remainder happened when one side misunderstood the other side complementing their mothers' choice of Jimmy Choo's footwear as "Army shoes".
And in a flash it was on like Donkey Kong.
Posted by: Duncanthrax at February 22, 2017 10:17 PM (DMUuz)
No dummy. Paper COVERS rock.
Posted by: dog at February 22, 2017 10:12 PM (qUNWi)
And Lizard poisons Spock!
Posted by: Sheldog at February 22, 2017 10:17 PM (JO9+V)
Posted by: Weirddave at February 22, 2017 10:17 PM (QGamW)
Hey Jinx! You didn't happen to try to buy Trump wine at your Wegmans last Thursday, did you?
Posted by: bluebell at February 22, 2017 10:17 PM (sBOL1)
- Neil deGrasse Tyson (@neiltyson) February 16, 2017
LOL.
I don't think even 1% of armed conflict falls into this category. Most wars are over stuff, territory, or life (and the control, thereof).
But, in the spirit of helping deAsse Tyson out, I'd be willing to slug him for his idiocy over global warming.
Posted by: ThePrimordialOrderedPair at February 22, 2017 10:17 PM (zc3Db)
Posted by: weft cut-loop at February 22, 2017 10:17 PM (4YGWz)
Posted by: rickl at February 22, 2017 10:12 PM (sdi6R)
Japan.
Now, stop thinking any further.
Posted by: BurtTC at February 22, 2017 10:17 PM (Pz4pT)
Almost all armed conflict in the history of the world came about because opposing sides believed different things to be true."
Of course . . .
Sometimes it is because someones being a dick
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ecEEeW2fcDQ
Posted by: Kindltot at February 22, 2017 10:17 PM (XMCn6)
Posted by: boulder terlit hobo at February 22, 2017 10:15 PM (6FqZa)
I eat 9 week-old road-killed possum. I can handle it.
Posted by: Toby at February 22, 2017 10:17 PM (WDdjT)
Posted by: dog at February 22, 2017 10:18 PM (qUNWi)
Posted by: lindarose schadenbutton! at February 22, 2017 10:18 PM (JNDQi)
Posted by: San Franpsycho at February 22, 2017 10:18 PM (EZebt)
Posted by: Grump928(C) at February 22, 2017 10:18 PM (LTHVh)
++++
Look what they put down for California and some other states: Motor Vehicle Accident. That's not an injury; it's a cause of injuries. Link goes to statnews. Dufuses. You would think that they would be better at compiling statistics.
Posted by: Anon Y. Mous at February 22, 2017 10:18 PM (R+30W)
Posted by: qdpsteve at February 22, 2017 10:19 PM (u8kLQ)
Posted by: Country Boy - just a humble, occasionally hotheaded poster at February 22, 2017 10:19 PM (D2vc1)
Posted by: Your Decidedly Devious Uncle Palpatine. Glory to Kekistan! No Longer Accepting Harem Applicants at February 22, 2017 10:19 PM (hlDpZ)
Posted by: qdpsteve at February 22, 2017 10:19 PM (u8kLQ)
Are you going to CPAC this year? I think I remember you going last year and posting pictures - am I right?
Posted by: bluebell at February 22, 2017 10:19 PM (sBOL1)
Posted by: boulder terlit hobo at February 22, 2017 10:20 PM (6FqZa)
Posted by: Neil Tyson DeChicken at February 22, 2017 10:20 PM (Tyii7)
Posted by: musical jolly chimp at February 22, 2017 10:20 PM (WTSFk)
Posted by: Insomniac at February 22, 2017 10:20 PM (0mRoj)
Robert Rack drools out the same tired shit as always. Every single time.
Only difference is sometimes it's couched in slightly less nasty language, but the meaning's exactly the same barf as the LAST 20 times.
Posted by: irongrampa at February 22, 2017 10:20 PM (X35Yt)
Posted by: blaster at February 22, 2017 10:10 PM (HV1LS)
The Rock will beat your rooty poo candy ass anytime he wants to!
Posted by: The Rock at February 22, 2017 10:20 PM (1JnAL)
Almost all armed conflict in the history of the world came about because opposing sides believed different things to be true."
Gawd. This guy makes Bill Nye The Science Guy look good.
Posted by: Diogenes at February 22, 2017 10:21 PM (0tfLf)
Taking a pass this year. I don't need to get drunk and pick up interns at the moment.
Posted by: Weirddave at February 22, 2017 10:21 PM (QGamW)
Professional rock/paper/scissors competition.
Posted by: Weirddave at February 22, 2017 10:17 PM (QGamW)
That's what that was? LOL.
Who are their sponsors? Office supply companies or excavators? Or are they pathetic like the poker players and have to pay for their own purses ... minus the house cut?
Posted by: ThePrimordialOrderedPair at February 22, 2017 10:21 PM (zc3Db)
Posted by: zombie David Carradine at February 22, 2017 10:21 PM (Xpeyq)
Actually it was more like, "You thought your stuff belonged to you, but I'm stronger than you, so I'm going to take it."
Posted by: rickl at February 22, 2017 10:22 PM (sdi6R)
wars are over stuff, territory, or life (and the control, thereof)."
Does this change make NDT's quote more accurate?
All Muslim armed conflict in the history of the world came about because Muslims believed different things to be true.
Posted by: Willy J. at February 22, 2017 10:22 PM (W6Ch1)
- Water is wet!
- The sun is a star!
- If someone shoved their head far enough up their ass, they could disappear!
Posted by: qdpsteve at February 22, 2017 10:22 PM (u8kLQ)
Posted by: Your Decidedly Devious Uncle Palpatine. Glory to Kekistan
----------
I'm pretty sure we don't have them here in Virginia, home of the insect bite injury.
Posted by: bluebell at February 22, 2017 10:22 PM (sBOL1)
And my guess is that Neill deGrasse Tyson can't even blame booze for that.
Posted by: nerdygirl at February 22, 2017 10:23 PM (+lVUW)
Posted by: boulder terlit hobo at February 22, 2017 10:15 PM (6FqZa)
Why do you think my nickname is "Redbeard"?
Posted by: Toby the Beagle, AKA "Redbeard" at February 22, 2017 10:23 PM (1JnAL)
- Almost all armed conflict in the history of the world came about because opposing sides believed different things to be true.
Really?
Posted by: Monkees at the waterhole with a femur club at February 22, 2017 10:23 PM (JO9+V)
--------
True!
Fire ants
Wasp
Fire ants
Scorpions
Fire ants
Brown recluse spiders
Fire ants
Black widow spiders
Fire ants
Yellow jackets
Fire ants
Thrips
Oh, did I mention fire ants......
Posted by: lindarose schadenbutton! at February 22, 2017 10:23 PM (JNDQi)
Posted by: Nester Wayless at February 22, 2017 10:23 PM (bDO9N)
Posted by: Anna Puma at February 22, 2017 10:23 PM (wg0zd)
Posted by: Toad-O at February 22, 2017 10:23 PM (cct0t)
Posted by: Neil Tyson DeChicken at February 22, 2017 10:23 PM (Tyii7)
Taking a pass this year. I don't need to get drunk and pick up interns at the moment.
Posted by: Weirddave at February 22, 2017 10:21 PM (QGamW)
--------
Ah, I see. I must have missed those pictures.
Posted by: bluebell at February 22, 2017 10:23 PM (sBOL1)
Posted by: Tami at February 22, 2017 10:23 PM (Enq6K)
Posted by: gNewt at February 22, 2017 10:23 PM (N4pek)
Almost all armed conflict in the history of the world came about because opposing sides believed different things to be true."
I believe I need the Sudetenland. -Hitler
We believe you don't. -Czechoslovakia
Parse it that way, every war is about differing beliefs.
Posted by: Alberta Oil Peon at February 22, 2017 10:23 PM (WDdjT)
One possible definition: I will kill you dead and take your stuff.
So... I'd say, sure. Neal Degrassy High, you may be right on this one.
Posted by: BurtTC at February 22, 2017 10:23 PM (Pz4pT)
Posted by: Weirddave
What?
It's like I dont' even know you man...
Wait, I don't know you. Hmm.
Posted by: weft cut-loop at February 22, 2017 10:24 PM (4YGWz)
All Muslim armed conflict in the history of the world came about because Muslims believed different things to be true.
Posted by: Willy J. at February 22, 2017 10:22 PM (W6Ch1)
No. Because belief really has little to do with islam. islam is all about taking other people's stuff and forcing them into submission. That's pretty much all of islam in a nutshell.
Posted by: ThePrimordialOrderedPair at February 22, 2017 10:24 PM (zc3Db)
Posted by: The Mouse that Roared at February 22, 2017 10:24 PM (7N6ox)
Posted by: Tinfoilbaby at February 22, 2017 10:25 PM (6Ll1u)
Posted by: dog at February 22, 2017 10:25 PM (qUNWi)
Posted by: bluebell at February 22, 2017 10:25 PM (sBOL1)
----
Tarantulas! Are they dangerous? I used to see them hitchhiking on the two lanes. They would stand on the side of the road and wave at you. I guess they were hitchhiking. Never picked one up.
Posted by: Nester Wayless at February 22, 2017 10:25 PM (bDO9N)
Taking a pass this year. I don't need to get drunk and pick up interns at the moment.
Posted by: Weirddave at February 22, 2017 10:21 PM (QGamW)
Happy to fill in for ya then if that's the assignment.
Posted by: Country Boy - just a humble, occasionally hotheaded poster at February 22, 2017 10:25 PM (D2vc1)
I responded: Yeah but from what i know about SNL, once something gets laughs, they'll keep doing it and doing it and doing it and doing it and doing it until the studio audience literally lights torches, rushes the stage and sets the entire cast and crew on fire. :-P
Posted by: qdpsteve at February 22, 2017 10:25 PM (u8kLQ)
Posted by: Tobacco Road at February 22, 2017 10:26 PM (on01m)
A single hill on your property makes you need to call in a freakin' napalm strike with WP as a follow up. The damned things can and will kill anything.
Posted by: Your Decidedly Devious Uncle Palpatine. Glory to Kekistan! No Longer Accepting Harem Applicants at February 22, 2017 10:26 PM (hlDpZ)
Turgidson: "Strangelove. What kind of a name is that? That ain't no Kraut name, is it, Stainsy?"
Stains: "He changed it when he became a citizen. It used to be Barkbarkdigliebe."
Posted by: torquewrench at February 22, 2017 10:26 PM (noWW6)
You know, if humans had evolved without limbs, would we still call battles "armed conflicts"? Think about it.
Posted by: neil degrasse tyson at February 22, 2017 10:26 PM (lmIoG)
Posted by: Neil Tyson DeChicken at February 22, 2017 10:26 PM (Tyii7)
Posted by: The Rock at February 22, 2017 10:20 PM
Let's connect!
Posted by: The Sock at February 22, 2017 10:26 PM (DMUuz)
1) What do you learn about conservatives directly from them? And what do you learn through a liberal report?
2) Why can't you pass a political Turing test?
3 to 20) Nothing else, that's as good a start as any.
Posted by: BourbonChicken at February 22, 2017 10:26 PM (VdICR)
You like da juice, ahh?
Posted by: the juice sketch! at February 22, 2017 10:27 PM (6FqZa)
Posted by: gNewt at February 22, 2017 10:27 PM (N4pek)
Posted by: garrett at February 22, 2017 10:27 PM (NXfyF)
https://twitter.com/kbdabear/status/834455709131616256
https://twitter.com/kbdabear/status/834455880414396416
https://twitter.com/kbdabear/status/834456040062193664
https://twitter.com/kbdabear/status/834456227300175872
Posted by: kbdabear at February 22, 2017 10:27 PM (Ya7zs)
Posted by: Insomniac at February 22, 2017 10:28 PM (0mRoj)
Posted by: qdpsteve at February 22, 2017 10:28 PM (u8kLQ)
Posted by: neil degrasse tyson
* cock slap *
Posted by: weft cut-loop at February 22, 2017 10:28 PM (4YGWz)
Posted by: neil degrasse tyson at February 22, 2017 10:26 PM
Does it always have to be about me?
Posted by: Michelle Fields at February 22, 2017 10:28 PM (DMUuz)
Posted by: Neil Tyson DeChicken at February 22, 2017 10:28 PM (Tyii7)
You know, when one dog wants to slur another he says, "You catch like a bitch."
Posted by: ThePrimordialOrderedPair at February 22, 2017 10:28 PM (zc3Db)
Posted by: qdpsteve at February 22, 2017 10:28 PM (u8kLQ)
Posted by: Anna Puma at February 22, 2017 10:28 PM (wg0zd)
Posted by: Neil Degrasse Tyson at February 22, 2017 10:29 PM (qJhUV)
https://twitter.com/kbdabear/status/834456367020830721
https://twitter.com/kbdabear/status/834456554871128066
https://twitter.com/kbdabear/status/834456691701927939
https://twitter.com/kbdabear/status/834456827207307267
Posted by: kbdabear at February 22, 2017 10:29 PM (Ya7zs)
Posted by: Your Decidedly Devious Uncle Palpatine. Glory to Kekistan
----------
I'm pretty sure we don't have them here in Virginia, home of the insect bite injury.
Posted by: bluebell at February 22, 2017 10:22 PM (sBOL1)
My first summer in Texas, I stepped outside to observe a beautiful full moon on a clear night.
I stop, lean up against the rail, look up, begin to ponder the beauty of it all, thanking God for the moment, and then......
my entire right leg and foot explodes in pain from stopping right over a nest.
Posted by: Country Boy - just a humble, occasionally hotheaded poster at February 22, 2017 10:29 PM (D2vc1)
Oh thank god for sweet inevitable death.
Posted by: Will Ferrell and Sherry O'Terry in cheerleader uniforms at February 22, 2017 10:29 PM (VdICR)
Posted by: Jukin the Deplorable and Profoundly Unserious at February 22, 2017 10:29 PM (cOHS7)
Posted by: Asps, Stinging Catepillars, and Wooly Worms at February 22, 2017 10:29 PM (JO9+V)
-------------------
Mine, actually.
The products of my imagination that I referred to as my friends in college all worked it out one day.
Posted by: junior at February 22, 2017 10:30 PM (nsZ+m)
Posted by: Country Boy - just a humble, occasionally hotheaded poster at February 22, 2017 10:25 PM (D2vc1)
You could always go to the equivalent Dem shindig, and pick up Cominterns.
Posted by: Alberta Oil Peon at February 22, 2017 10:30 PM (WDdjT)
Leftists on a very liberal message board. It describes how they felt
about my conservative values. It was a kinder, gentler time, today
they'd call me NaziDave.
============
That reminds me of the NYT-sponsored AOL chat rooms from the late '90s to around 2002. Me and about ten liberals. Usually polite and we'd discuss things we liked in common. Politics were a bit rambunctious, though, without much name-calling or other forms of rancor.
Posted by: mrp at February 22, 2017 10:30 PM (JBggj)
It's about power. All states have some. It's not equally distributed. All states want more. Sometimes they can create more internally. Sometimes they get more by taking it from those who have less. Sometimes they can finesse it from those that have more but that is very advanced shit. You'll have to take Politicsl Science 102 for that.
Posted by: Diogenes at February 22, 2017 10:30 PM (0tfLf)
Posted by: Neil Tyson DeChicken at February 22, 2017 10:31 PM (Tyii7)
Posted by: Eromero at February 22, 2017 10:31 PM (zLDYs)
Posted by: bluebell at February 22, 2017 10:25 PM (sBOL1)
I've only known one person who got bitten by a brown recluse (actually a Mediterranean recluse), but then the abscess got infected with MRSA and he ended up doing like three weeks in the hospital. So, y'know... get that stuff checked out if you get bitten.
Posted by: hogmartin at February 22, 2017 10:31 PM (8nWyX)
Posted by: Randy Marsh at February 22, 2017 10:31 PM (NXfyF)
Posted by: rickl at February 22, 2017 10:22 PM (sdi6R)
Like asset forfeiture laws.
Posted by: Insomniac at February 22, 2017 10:31 PM (0mRoj)
Posted by: Neil DeAss Tyson at February 22, 2017 10:31 PM (Xpeyq)
I would have thought dick injury. You know, from screwing inanimate objects, like sofas and toasters. That can't be good for your dick, especially the toasters.
Posted by: nerdygirl at February 22, 2017 10:32 PM (+lVUW)
Posted by: musical jolly chimp at February 22, 2017 10:20 PM (WTSFk)
I know several people who have been bitten by them. I'll take 10 rattlesnake bites to 1 brown recluse bite any day.
Posted by: Michael the TEXIT at February 22, 2017 10:32 PM (nvMvs)
http://preview.tinyurl.com/hfpnykz
Posted by: Anna Puma at February 22, 2017 10:32 PM (wg0zd)
It's about power.
Germany 1914: "Dammit, we want more power!! We don't care what we gotta do to get some!!!!!"
Germany 1946: "Oopsie! Never mind."
Posted by: qdpsteve at February 22, 2017 10:32 PM (u8kLQ)
...I'm still stupid.
Posted by: Filld withGass Tyson at February 22, 2017 10:32 PM (6FqZa)
Posted by: lindarose schadenbutton! at February 22, 2017 10:32 PM (JNDQi)
Posted by: Neil Tyson DeChicken at February 22, 2017 10:33 PM (Tyii7)
Posted by: qdpsteve at February 22, 2017 10:33 PM (u8kLQ)
It only gets worse from here.
Posted by: garrett at February 22, 2017 10:27 PM (NXfyF)
Oh probably. I'm just sick to death of this shit. As ace said earlier: fuck you, Life.
Posted by: Insomniac at February 22, 2017 10:33 PM (0mRoj)
Posted by: garrett at February 22, 2017 10:33 PM (NXfyF)
Posted by: boulder terlit hobo at February 22, 2017 10:34 PM (6FqZa)
Posted by: Michael the TEXIT at February 22, 2017 10:32 PM (nvMvs)
One slight brush against a gympie gympie is worse than both of those, combined. Using a gympie gympie to wipe is tantamount to hell on Earth ... for decades.
Posted by: ThePrimordialOrderedPair at February 22, 2017 10:34 PM (zc3Db)
It makes my stomach turn, just thinking about it.
Posted by: NukemHill at February 22, 2017 10:34 PM (ra7SF)
Posted by: Diogenes at February 22, 2017 10:34 PM (0tfLf)
Posted by: qdpsteve at February 22, 2017 10:34 PM (u8kLQ)
Posted by: lindarose schadenbutton! at February 22, 2017 10:34 PM (JNDQi)
Posted by: bluebell at February 22, 2017 10:34 PM (sBOL1)
Posted by: hogmartin at February 22, 2017 10:31 PM (8nWyX)
When I was a kid, I knew a teen who almost died from a brown recluse. I'm still freaked out by spiders. I don't care how harmless.
Posted by: BurtTC at February 22, 2017 10:35 PM (Pz4pT)
I'm with you. I often wonder why I bother, al all. It's not like I don't have rope and a fine understanding of slip knots.
Posted by: garrett at February 22, 2017 10:35 PM (NXfyF)
Posted by: qdpsteve at February 22, 2017 10:28 PM
You know, the Vietnam War was about a disagreement. The Americans believed that The Beach Boys rocked. The North Vietnamese thought they sucked. So, in a way Brian Wilson caused the war. This is often repeated in history, for example, I refer to the Napoleonic conflict as "The Souffle War", for obvious reasons.
Posted by: neil degrasse tyson at February 22, 2017 10:35 PM (lmIoG)
200 Million Girls Killed in China, Where Are the Feminists?
I dunno. Where were the massive protests by feminists when there were rape accusations about Bill Clinton? Where were the massive protests when Ted K. let that girl drown at Martha's Vineyard because he didn't want a DUI to ruin his political career?
Posted by: nerdygirl at February 22, 2017 10:35 PM (+lVUW)
Parts of Utah have become blue too.
Posted by: Tilikum Killer Assault Whale at February 22, 2017 10:35 PM (hVdx9)
Posted by: Mr. Peebles at February 22, 2017 10:35 PM (oVJmc)
OMG. I imagine ISIS is trying to grow some.
Posted by: qdpsteve at February 22, 2017 10:34 PM (u8kLQ)
That's okay. It'll be a laugh riot watching them try to smuggle it.
Posted by: ThePrimordialOrderedPair at February 22, 2017 10:35 PM (zc3Db)
1) For NY - yeah, I actually did my part on that one!
2) For NJ - that's really what came to mind from "sprained hand"?
3) "Suffocation" out West - Kinky!
4) Looks like "spine dislocation" is common in the northern far-lefty states where being spineless is the norm...
5) OR must be going at it like jackrabbits
Posted by: Optimizer at February 22, 2017 10:36 PM (EnK/R)
Posted by: Neil Tyson DeChicken at February 22, 2017 10:36 PM (Tyii7)
Posted by: Mrs deGrasse Tyson at February 22, 2017 10:36 PM (Ya7zs)
Posted by: nerdygirl at February 22, 2017 10:36 PM (+lVUW)
Posted by: Neil D'Asse Tyson at February 22, 2017 10:36 PM (8zL5i)
Posted by: BourbonChicken at February 22, 2017 10:36 PM (VdICR)
Really?
--------------
Maybe.
One side says, "I can take that from you."
The other side says, "No you can't."
See? They believe different things!
Posted by: junior at February 22, 2017 10:36 PM (nsZ+m)
Posted by: Optimizer at February 22, 2017 10:36 PM (EnK/R)
Maybe they suffocate when they forget to breathe back in.
Posted by: boulder terlit hobo at February 22, 2017 10:36 PM (6FqZa)
qdpsteve: "Look Neil, a ladybug!"
NDT: "Oh wow, where?" *turns head*
qdpsteve: *picks up baseball bat, smashes NDT's head*
Posted by: qdpsteve at February 22, 2017 10:37 PM (u8kLQ)
I would have thought dick injury. You know, from screwing inanimate objects, like sofas and toasters. That can't be good for your dick, especially the toasters.
Posted by: nerdygirl at February 22, 2017 10:32 PM (+lVUW)
The light setting's not too bad.
Posted by: Insomniac at February 22, 2017 10:37 PM (0mRoj)
I'm with you. I often wonder why I bother, al all. It's not like I don't have rope and a fine understanding of slip knots.
Posted by: garrett at February 22, 2017 10:35 PM (NXfyF)
-------
Boys. You two cut that out right now.
*said with my most commanding mom voice*
Posted by: bluebell at February 22, 2017 10:37 PM (sBOL1)
We do have brown recluse spiders, but I only know one person who was
ever bitten by one in all the years I've lived here. Oh well, I guess
I'm lucky.
Posted by: bluebell at February 22, 2017 10:25 PM (sBOL1)
I've only known one person who got bitten by a brown recluse
(actually a Mediterranean recluse), but then the abscess got infected
with MRSA and he ended up doing like three weeks in the hospital. So,
y'know... get that stuff checked out if you get bitten.
Posted by: hogmartin at February 22, 2017 10:31 PM (8nWyX)
Our daughter was bit by one when she was about 9 or 10 when we lived in Connecticut.
Posted by: Tami at February 22, 2017 10:37 PM (Enq6K)
Posted by: geoffb5 at February 22, 2017 10:37 PM (d3wbb)
Posted by: Neil Degrasse Tyson at February 22, 2017 10:37 PM (qJhUV)
Posted by: nerdygirl at February 22, 2017 10:35 PM (+lVUW)
Repeat, as often as necessary- Leftism: Logic and reason ain't got nothin' to do with it.
Posted by: BurtTC at February 22, 2017 10:38 PM (Pz4pT)
"Congratulations Abdul! We have made this suit especially for you, to smuggle into the USA..."
Posted by: qdpsteve at February 22, 2017 10:38 PM (u8kLQ)
Posted by: Your Decidedly Devious Uncle Palpatine. Glory to Kekistan! No Longer Accepting Harem Applicants at February 22, 2017 10:38 PM (hlDpZ)
Posted by: bluebell at February 22, 2017 10:34 PM (sBOL1)
It literally felt like the lead ants made their way past my knee, waited for the others to catch up and fill in, and then said: "ok, all at once, NOW!!!!"
Posted by: Country Boy - just a humble, occasionally hotheaded poster at February 22, 2017 10:38 PM (D2vc1)
Posted by: Hillary! at February 22, 2017 10:38 PM (/wWB4)
Posted by: qdpsteve at February 22, 2017 10:28 PM
You know, the Vietnam War was about a disagreement. The Americans believed that The Beach Boys rocked. The North Vietnamese thought they sucked. So, in a way Brian Wilson caused the war. This is often repeated in history, for example, I refer to the Napoleonic conflict as "The Souffle War", for obvious reasons.
- - - -
None of you had to deal with 'ol Two Step in 'Nam huh?
Nasty little bastard.
Posted by: Diogenes at February 22, 2017 10:38 PM (0tfLf)
Posted by: Optimizer
****
So how long have you lived in FL?
Posted by: Tilikum Killer Assault Whale at February 22, 2017 10:39 PM (hVdx9)
Posted by: ThePrimordialOrderedPair at February 22, 2017 10:34 PM
That stuff is no joke.
Posted by: otho at February 22, 2017 10:39 PM (lmIoG)
Posted by: The Mouse that Roared at February 22, 2017 10:39 PM (7N6ox)
Posted by: Jukin the Deplorable and Profoundly Unserious at February 22, 2017 10:40 PM (cOHS7)
Posted by: Brian Wilson at February 22, 2017 10:40 PM (u8kLQ)
Posted by: qdpsteve at February 22, 2017 10:28 PM
You know, the Vietnam War was about a disagreement. The Americans believed that The Beach Boys rocked. The North Vietnamese thought they sucked. So, in a way Brian Wilson caused the war. This is often repeated in history, for example, I refer to the Napoleonic conflict as "The Souffle War", for obvious reasons.
- - - -
None of you had to deal with 'ol Two Step in 'Nam huh?
Nasty little bastard.
Posted by: Diogenes
****
I hear the one step snake was more deadly.
Posted by: Tilikum Killer Assault Whale at February 22, 2017 10:40 PM (hVdx9)
In his monologue, he explained his previous departure as being the result of a disagreement. "I felt I should be able to KEEP my job", he explained...
Posted by: Optimizer at February 22, 2017 10:40 PM (EnK/R)
Posted by: Quasimodo at February 22, 2017 10:40 PM (ra7SF)
Posted by: lindarose schadenbutton! at February 22, 2017 10:23 PM (JNDQi)
I'm thinking fire ants have to be the number one cause of insect injuries in Texas. The little suckered hurt and the bites take forever to heal.
There are a lot nastier things that sting and bite, but fire ants seem to be everywhere.
Posted by: Michael the TEXIT at February 22, 2017 10:40 PM (nvMvs)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=owBcBHyqDRE
Posted by: holygoat at February 22, 2017 10:40 PM (DbBV5)
*******
Move the seat back further.
Posted by: Diogenes at February 22, 2017 10:41 PM (0tfLf)
Posted by: Fire Ants of ANTIFA at February 22, 2017 10:41 PM (u8kLQ)
Posted by: Insomniac at February 22, 2017 10:20
Be well Insomniac. The Horde is here for you. Something will show up on the job front soon.
Posted by: Farmer at February 22, 2017 10:41 PM (o/90i)
Posted by: Christopher Reeve at February 22, 2017 10:41 PM (ra7SF)
Posted by: Brian Wilson
Well, I think you had fun, fun, fun then Dad showed up.
Posted by: weft cut-loop at February 22, 2017 10:41 PM (4YGWz)
Posted by: boulder terlit hobo at February 22, 2017 10:42 PM (6FqZa)
I'm more interested in learning about the armed conflicts that occurred due to the opposing sides agreeing with each other.
Posted by: andycanuck at February 22, 2017 10:42 PM (nlbfN)
Posted by: Anna Puma at February 22, 2017 10:42 PM (wg0zd)
Posted by: Brian Wilson at February 22, 2017 10:42 PM (u8kLQ)
Posted by: tu3031 at February 22, 2017 10:42 PM (qJhUV)
Posted by: Incontinence at February 22, 2017 10:42 PM (ra7SF)
Posted by: Anna Puma at February 22, 2017 10:42 PM (wg0zd)
Gender fluid is collected from the Spinal Tap.
Posted by: ThePrimordialOrderedPair at February 22, 2017 10:43 PM (zc3Db)
Posted by: Neil Tyson DeChicken at February 22, 2017 10:44 PM (Tyii7)
Posted by: Tilikum Killer Assault Whale at February 22, 2017 10:44 PM (hVdx9)
Posted by: lindarose schadenbutton! at February 22, 2017 10:44 PM (JNDQi)
---------------------
A screenshot from the video game XCom 2 got posted to Facebook a couple of days ago in the XCom 2 feed. The attached caption noted that sometimes it's okay to let the aliens win.
The (randomly generated) name of the mission in the screenshot?
Operation Tarantula World
Posted by: junior at February 22, 2017 10:44 PM (nsZ+m)
Posted by: The Mouse that Roared at February 22, 2017 10:39 PM
This dude knows what I'm talking about. Are you an astro type scientist guy too?
Posted by: neil degrasse tyson at February 22, 2017 10:44 PM (lmIoG)
Posted by: voiceover at February 22, 2017 10:44 PM (Tu/Ru)
Posted by: Optimizer
****
So how long have you lived in FL?
Posted by: Tilikum Killer Assault Whale at February 22, 2017 10:39 PM (hVdx9)
I don't live in FL, but I DID, for a year and a half, about 20 years ago. It's all about bugs, heat, humidity, lightning, hurricanes, and alligators. Head injuries, I don't recall.
Posted by: Optimizer at February 22, 2017 10:44 PM (EnK/R)
Posted by: boulder terlit hobo at February 22, 2017 10:44 PM (6FqZa)
Like Miller Lite tastes great. Not less filling like those other idiots think.
Posted by: Neil DeAss Tyson at February 22, 2017 10:44 PM (Xpeyq)
Posted by: Twisted Sister at February 22, 2017 10:45 PM (ra7SF)
Seeing the point gets difficult a lot of the time. My kids are the only reason I give a shit.
Posted by: Insomniac at February 22, 2017 10:45 PM (0mRoj)
----------------
Back when I used to attend Anime Expo, I regularly saw it get used to determine who in the room got the swag.
Posted by: junior at February 22, 2017 10:46 PM (nsZ+m)
My guess would be old people and shitty drivers from up north.
Posted by: Insomniac at February 22, 2017 10:46 PM (0mRoj)
Posted by: boulder terlit hobo
There's no sense in playing around with them. When you insist someone eat a bag, raw is what they deserve.
Posted by: weft cut-loop at February 22, 2017 10:47 PM (4YGWz)
Posted by: neil degrasse tyson at February 22, 2017 10:35 PM
Charlie don't surf. QED.
Posted by: Col. William Kilgore at February 22, 2017 10:48 PM (DMUuz)
Posted by: Optimizer
****
Joe Biden doesn't recall his head injury either.
Posted by: Tilikum Killer Assault Whale at February 22, 2017 10:48 PM (hVdx9)
Posted by: qdpsteve
Treaty restrictions
Posted by: Jean at February 22, 2017 10:48 PM (zZb/S)
Consider yourself a lucky man, then.
And I mean that.
Posted by: garrett at February 22, 2017 10:48 PM (NXfyF)
I have a friend who unfortunately has turned out to be the angry liberal about Trump. But... he wants to do a web series on YouTube or elsewhere, basically a low-budget sitcom, about these coming years.
Title: "Make America Free Again."
I've mentioned this guy before, we disagree but so far it's never gotten vicious.
Anyway, I agreed to write a pilot episode. I wanted the comedy to be balanced. He let me take a shot.
So... I want to share the script I've written with all of you, to get your feedback. Is it funny? Does the story make sense? Can you understand what's going on?
This friend of mine, btw, wants to do the series either via animation or puppets. I would kind of like to do it live action with actors, but I know he doesn't want to spend a ton of money. That's fine, neither do I.
Anyway, for anyone who is interested in reading and critiquing my script here, please let me know:
- Would you prefer I email you a copy of the PDF?
- Or would you prefer I just copy and paste the entire script here in the ONT?
Your call, and I can do both.
But thanks in advance for everyone's help.
AND... apologies in advance, as there are some anti-Trump jokes in the script. But I made sure most of the yuks have nothing to do with the President.
Posted by: qdpsteve at February 22, 2017 10:48 PM (u8kLQ)
wars are over stuff, territory, or life (and the control, thereof).
Does this change make NDT's quote more accurate?
All Muslim armed conflict in the history of the world came about because Muslims believed different things to be true.
One side thinks that it is true that they have a right to this piece of land. The other side thinks that it is not true that they have a right to that piece of land.
Posted by: nerdygirl at February 22, 2017 10:49 PM (+lVUW)
Posted by: Cristopher Reeves at February 22, 2017 10:49 PM (hVdx9)
Posted by: Quilters Irish Death at February 22, 2017 10:49 PM (03xWx)
The USA TODAY Network has launched a secure website for sources who want to share information with reporters ... The tool, called SecureDrop ...
I thought the FBI hacked the TOR network. Did TOR fix the breach? Who runs TOR anyway?
Posted by: Nester Wayless at February 22, 2017 10:49 PM (bDO9N)
Posted by: bluebell at February 22, 2017 10:25 PM (sBOL1)
They're nasty. I have three friends who have been bitten. One has a large egg-sized hole in his leg; another a hole in his arm; and one of my best friends has a hole on the inside of his left foot just below the ankle.
The friend with the foot bite was bitten more than 20 years ago but still ends up in the hospital a few days several times a year. One of his big goals in life is to keep his foot.
Posted by: Michael the TEXIT at February 22, 2017 10:49 PM (nvMvs)
Posted by: Ostral B Heretic at February 22, 2017 10:49 PM (FAO5C)
Posted by: weft cut-loop at February 22, 2017 10:49 PM (4YGWz)
Posted by: Bill sometimes Bill formerly from Canada at February 22, 2017 10:50 PM (iHMaT)
IT'S FUNNY BECAUSE SO OFTEN WHEN YOU HEAR A NEWS STORY OF PEOPLE DOING REALLY, REALLY, REALLY STUPID SHIT, THEY'RE FROM FLORIDA.
Posted by: BEN ROETHLISBERGER at February 22, 2017 10:50 PM (Xpeyq)
Posted by: zamfir at February 22, 2017 10:50 PM (nlbfN)
Posted by: Sebastian Melmoth at February 22, 2017 10:50 PM (IDPbH)
Posted by: Walter Freeman at February 22, 2017 10:50 PM (/DA/D)
******
Susan Dey of the Partridge Family or any of the Brady skanks?
Posted by: Diogenes at February 22, 2017 10:50 PM (0tfLf)
Posted by: dog at February 22, 2017 10:50 PM (qUNWi)
Why didn't the US armed forces send fire ants in to fight in Vietnam?
Posted by: qdpsteve
They don't have arms. You can't be in an armed force without arms.
Posted by: neil degrasse tyson at February 22, 2017 10:51 PM (lmIoG)
Posted by: Jean at February 22, 2017 10:51 PM (zZb/S)
Posted by: Grouchy Dino at February 22, 2017 10:51 PM (dEnig)
Posted by: Nester Wayless
heh. The US Navy.
Posted by: weft cut-loop at February 22, 2017 10:51 PM (4YGWz)
Posted by: Tor Johnson at February 22, 2017 10:51 PM (IqV8l)
Posted by: qdpsteve at February 22, 2017 10:51 PM (u8kLQ)
Consider yourself a lucky man, then.
And I mean that.
Posted by: garrett at February 22, 2017 10:48 PM (NXfyF)
I hold on to that with white knuckles, believe me.
Posted by: Insomniac at February 22, 2017 10:52 PM (0mRoj)
My guess would be old people and shitty drivers from up north.
Posted by: Insomniac at February 22, 2017 10:46 PM (0mRoj)
I'm not really sure how we get to "head injury" from THAT, but yeah, plenty of old people in certain areas, and I enjoyed keeping my northern license plates while I was there because whenever I got lost, or did something stupid, I was reassured that everybody would just think I was a tourist! One of my fellow employees took to calling such drivers "tourons", for "tourist morons".
Maybe the idea is that of them having their heads up their butts, but I can think of more appropriate states for that.
Posted by: Optimizer at February 22, 2017 10:53 PM (EnK/R)
Posted by: Michael the TEXIT at February 22, 2017 10:49 PM (nvMvs)
-------
Good grief. Those poor guys. And people think Australia wants to kill you. Sounds like Texas is worse.
When I made my first comment about the insect bites, I was only looking at Virginia and didn't notice that it was for Texas too. Texas I can see, Virginia not so much. Maybe in the areas farther south of me though. Up here it's all knee and ankle injuries, it seems.
Posted by: bluebell at February 22, 2017 10:53 PM (sBOL1)
Posted by: ThePrimordialOrderedPair at February 22, 2017 10:54 PM (zc3Db)
Do they use fire?
Posted by: Cristopher Reeves at February 22, 2017 10:55 PM (hVdx9)
Posted by: kalneva at February 22, 2017 10:55 PM (vhW1R)
Falls and motor vehicle accidents.
Posted by: Insomniac at February 22, 2017 10:55 PM (0mRoj)
----
Hand puppets, or marionettes? Thunderbirds!
(almost wrote martinets; another word pair for the wrong words list.)
Posted by: Nester Wayless at February 22, 2017 10:55 PM (bDO9N)
Posted by: torquewrench at February 22, 2017 10:56 PM (noWW6)
He must be talking about the Mary Ann-Ginger War To End All Wars.
Posted by: t-bird at February 22, 2017 10:56 PM (eeTCA)
KUALA LUMPUR — Armed guards have begun 24-hour security around the Malaysian morgue where North Korean dictator Kim Jong Un's estranged half-brother Kim Jong Nam's body is being kept after an alleged break-in attempt, officials said Wednesday.
Posted by: Bertram Cabot, Jr. at February 22, 2017 10:56 PM (IqV8l)
Posted by: bluebell at February 22, 2017 10:53 PM (sBOL1)<<<
Ankle injuries? You live around AtC?
Posted by: an indifferent penguin, what knows he's safe (for now) because AtC isn't up this late at February 22, 2017 10:56 PM (Xpeyq)
My friend, whose name is Mike, has said he wants to do "Make America Free Again" in the style of "Spitting Image" (the British political sitcom from the 1980s).
Posted by: qdpsteve at February 22, 2017 10:56 PM (u8kLQ)
Posted by: Sebastian Melmoth at February 22, 2017 10:57 PM (IDPbH)
Posted by: boulder terlit hobo at February 22, 2017 10:09 PM (6FqZa)
There are days where outside the temperature I'm hard pressed to say I'm not already there.
...and it has been unseasonably (and a half) warm lately...
Posted by: Bete stays up at February 22, 2017 10:57 PM (Ojki1)
Hah! I've lost more mind than you'll ever- no, that's not coming out right...
Posted by: Nancy Pelosi at February 22, 2017 10:57 PM (eeTCA)
Posted by: Clank your chains at February 22, 2017 10:58 PM (M3DRt)
Long gone are the cool days of maybe a few thousand attendees. Even A-kon for 2016 had 32,000+
Posted by: Anna Puma at February 22, 2017 10:58 PM (wg0zd)
Posted by: qdp "hypersensitive weepy wimp" steve at February 22, 2017 10:58 PM (u8kLQ)
Posted by: Bertram Cabot, Jr. at February 22, 2017 10:58 PM (IqV8l)
Posted by: andycanuck at February 22, 2017 10:59 PM (nlbfN)
Posted by: Murry Wilson at February 22, 2017 10:59 PM (JO9+V)
Consider yourself a lucky man, then.
And I mean that.
Posted by: garrett at February 22, 2017 10:48 PM (NXfyF)
Yeah that's pretty much my only rationale at this point, even though they're grown.
Posted by: Country Boy - just a humble, occasionally hotheaded poster at February 22, 2017 10:59 PM (D2vc1)
Posted by: gNewt at February 22, 2017 11:00 PM (N4pek)
Posted by: Sebastian Melmoth at February 22, 2017 11:00 PM (IDPbH)
Posted by: Clank your chains at February 22, 2017 10:58 PM (M3DRt)
Danged if I know!
Posted by: Zombie Antonin Scalia at February 22, 2017 11:00 PM (JO9+V)
Posted by: Bill sometimes Bill formerly from Canada at February 22, 2017 10:50 PM (iHMaT)
Must have been the salt or oil or something. Capsaicin only really works on mammals.
Posted by: hogmartin at February 22, 2017 11:01 PM (8nWyX)
Posted by: michelle fields at February 22, 2017 11:01 PM (nlbfN)
Posted by: garrett at February 22, 2017 11:01 PM (NXfyF)
Posted by: Big V at February 22, 2017 11:02 PM (ep6C/)
Posted by: Bill sometimes Bill formerly from Canada at February 22, 2017 10:50 PM (iHMaT)
Must have been the salt or oil or something. Capsaicin only really works on mammals.
Posted by: hogmartin at February 22, 2017 11:01 PM (8nWyX)
It was the insecticide he put in the sauce.
Posted by: Insomniac at February 22, 2017 11:02 PM (0mRoj)
I have a friend who unfortunately has turned out to be the angry liberal about Trump. But... he wants to do a web series on YouTube or elsewhere, basically a low-budget sitcom, about these coming years.
Title: "Make America Free Again."
I've mentioned this guy before, we disagree but so far it's never gotten vicious.
Anyway, I agreed to write a pilot episode. I wanted the comedy to be balanced. He let me take a shot.
...
Posted by: qdpsteve at February 22, 2017 10:48 PM (u8kLQ)
This reminds of the guy who tells his bowling buddies, "Oh, don't worry - she SAID it would be OK for me to hang out with the guys on our anniversary".
What could go wrong?
Posted by: Optimizer at February 22, 2017 11:02 PM (EnK/R)
Posted by: garrett at February 22, 2017 11:02 PM (NXfyF)
Posted by: garrett at February 22, 2017 11:03 PM (NXfyF)
Posted by: Bill sometimes Bill formerly from Canada at February 22, 2017 10:50 PM (iHMaT)
--------
Uh yeah, they just moved somewhere else. Gotta poison them to make sure the queen is dead otherwise they just move.
Posted by: lindarose schadenbutton! at February 22, 2017 11:03 PM (JNDQi)
Actually "Make America Free Again" is about secret service agents (think "Men In Black") who keep getting tasked with fulfilling crazy requests from the new POTUS.
(My hunch is that Mike's scripts, OTOH, will contain a lot more of what I'd call 'direct hits.')
But in my script, Trump is not an on-screen character, nor is any other politician. I basically pitted a liberal Hillary-supporting female secret service agent (her name is '969') against a conservative, square-jawed male agent (name '776').
And, their task? Trump wants to change school lunches so that they contain a new ingredient: hair.
Posted by: qdpsteve at February 22, 2017 11:03 PM (u8kLQ)
My friend, whose name is Mike, has said he wants to do "Make America Free Again" in the style of "Spitting Image" (the British political sitcom from the 1980s).
Posted by: qdpsteve at February 22, 2017 10:56 PM
Are you doing it as a loosely connected sketch show? Or, a story driven episode type deal?
Posted by: neil degrasse tyson at February 22, 2017 11:04 PM (lmIoG)
Posted by: Ostral B Heretic at February 22, 2017 11:04 PM (FAO5C)
I also like the idea of doing a script about a trans secret service agent; 776 can't understand why the guy is always running around in drag.
Posted by: qdpsteve at February 22, 2017 11:04 PM (u8kLQ)
Posted by: harry reid's parrot at February 22, 2017 11:04 PM (nlbfN)
Long gone are the cool days of maybe a few thousand attendees. Even A-kon for 2016 had 32,000+
-----------------
Guess I should have been clearer. This would have been in the rooms after a presentation. So I'd go listen to, say, the Bandai guys (to pick someone at random) talk about their R1 releases in the coming year (pre-Blu-Ray). Then toward the end, they'd pick a bunch of volunteers and have them play jankenpyon against their representative (always a woman). If you beat her, you stayed standing. If you lost or tied, you sat down. That repeated until only a handful of people were still standing up, at which point the swag got distributed.
Posted by: junior at February 22, 2017 11:04 PM (nsZ+m)
Posted by: Your Decidedly Devious Uncle Palpatine. Glory to Kekistan! No Longer Accepting Harem Applicants at February 22, 2017 11:05 PM (Tylxs)
thingy change
Posted by: otho at February 22, 2017 11:05 PM (lmIoG)
Not sure if Mike wants to continue in that vein or get more edgy and confrontational.
If he does want to get more confrontational, I will probably stop being involved in the project. I don't want to start my writing career doing the same old hateful crap too many other "comedians" are doing.
Posted by: qdpsteve at February 22, 2017 11:05 PM (u8kLQ)
If you are really old, and you fall asleep, and stop breathing, that would be suffocation?
Posted by: Nester Wayless at February 22, 2017 11:06 PM (bDO9N)
Posted by: Bertram Cabot, Jr. at February 22, 2017 11:06 PM (IqV8l)
Posted by: Sebastian Melmoth at February 22, 2017 11:06 PM (IDPbH)
Posted by: andycanuck at February 22, 2017 11:06 PM (nlbfN)
Warning: it will be a bit of a looong blog entry here. :-)
But here it comes...
Posted by: qdpsteve at February 22, 2017 11:06 PM (u8kLQ)
Posted by: gNewt at February 22, 2017 10:23 PM (N4pek)
___________
From slipping on the frozen tundra.
Posted by: Lily(formerly of Hot Air) now of AoSHQ assassin in the night at February 22, 2017 11:07 PM (vfC/C)
Posted by: Kent Brockman at February 22, 2017 11:07 PM (ANIFC)
Posted by: Bertram Cabot, Jr. at February 22, 2017 11:07 PM (IqV8l)
Oh Marii Ijima is supposed to be at AX 2017.
The Minmay Defense!
Posted by: Anna Puma at February 22, 2017 11:07 PM (wg0zd)
Posted by: Jinx the Cat at February 22, 2017 11:08 PM (xnN7n)
Posted by: Optimizer at February 22, 2017 11:08 PM (EnK/R)
Posted by: Optimizer at February 22, 2017 10:36 PM (EnK/R)
Here, hold my beer.
Posted by: Florida Redneck at February 22, 2017 11:08 PM (1JnAL)
Posted by: Neil D'Asse Tyson at February 22, 2017 11:08 PM (29QcC)
Posted by: Clank your chains at February 22, 2017 10:58 PM (M3DRt)
---
I dunno
Posted by: zombie former singer of INXS at February 22, 2017 11:08 PM (PqqkK)
Warning: it will be a bit of a looong blog entry here. :-)
But here it comes...
Posted by: qdpsteve at February 22, 2017 11:06 PM (u8kLQ)
Just copy and paste from Word. Piece of cake.
Posted by: Country Boy - just a humble, occasionally hotheaded poster at February 22, 2017 11:09 PM (D2vc1)
Posted by: Miley, the Duchess at February 22, 2017 11:09 PM (tHwdc)
Posted by: t-bird at February 22, 2017 11:09 PM (29QcC)
Posted by: Clank your chains at February 22, 2017 11:09 PM (M3DRt)
- Would you prefer I email you a copy of the PDF?
- Or would you prefer I just copy and paste the entire script here in the ONT?
---
Have you talked to votermom? I think she's in charge of the HQ Book Group.
People who read books like to read other things.
Just sayin...
Posted by: shibumi, a rational single white female and kitteh servant at February 22, 2017 11:10 PM (J5mC3)
Posted by: Miley, the Duchess
Have I got a vacation location for you!
Posted by: Jinx the Cat at February 22, 2017 11:10 PM (xnN7n)
Posted by: Miley, the Duchess at February 22, 2017 11:10 PM (tHwdc)
Posted by: qdpsteve at February 22, 2017 10:48 PM (u8kLQ)
Very cool.
Posted by: ThePrimordialOrderedPair at February 22, 2017 11:10 PM (zc3Db)
Posted by: Sebastian Melmoth at February 22, 2017 11:11 PM (IDPbH)
Posted by: Jinx the Cat at February 22, 2017 11:10 PM (xnN7n)
I already live here, but apparently not in the right area. Where are you, Jinx?
Posted by: Miley, the Duchess at February 22, 2017 11:11 PM (tHwdc)
Posted by: Your Decidedly Devious Uncle Palpatine. Glory to Kekistan! No Longer Accepting Harem Applicants at February 22, 2017 11:11 PM (Tylxs)
But here it comes...
Posted by: qdpsteve at February 22, 2017 11:06 PM (u8kLQ)
Just copy and paste from Word. Piece of cake.
---
That seems like it might earn a trip to the barrel.
Plus... you might lose ALL of your formatting.
Do you partake in The Group qdpsteve?
It might be easiest to post it there and then *maybe* put a link to it here. Although I'm not sure if that would link or not.
Posted by: shibumi, a rational single white female and kitteh servant at February 22, 2017 11:12 PM (J5mC3)
Posted by: Sebastian Melmoth at February 22, 2017 11:11 PM (IDPbH)
LOL.
Long live the WHEEL!!
Posted by: ThePrimordialOrderedPair at February 22, 2017 11:12 PM (zc3Db)
Posted by: Amy Shumer at February 22, 2017 11:12 PM (/wWB4)
http://www.ufunk.net/photos/alison-jackson-donald-trump/
Posted by: Anna Puma at February 22, 2017 11:13 PM (wg0zd)
Oh Marii Ijima is supposed to be at AX 2017.
The Minmay Defense!
-------------------
That sounds like fun... I'll have to check which day she's making an appearance.
I can't remember the last time I went, but I do remember that there was a special presentation on Macross that I attended.
Posted by: junior at February 22, 2017 11:13 PM (nsZ+m)
Created by Michael L. Belanger
Developed by Steven Lanzi
Season #1
Episode #1
PILOT / ‘HAIR BRAINED'
written by
Steven Lanzi
First Draft
1/27/2017 - 2/21/2017
FADE IN over lots of science-themed STOCK FOOTAGE:
NARRATOR
Incredible, potentially life-changing news was made today as scientists across many fields announced the successful birth of a half-human, half-pig living being. This was the result of decades of DNA and other research into whether or not these types of breeding experiments between humans and animal species could ever be successful.
On top of this incredible announcement, the breeding team claims the half-human, half-pig has demonstrated mindbendingly accelerated abilities in speech, and is already communicating with the team that created it. Its first words were reported to be...
'MAKE AMERICA GREAT AGAIN!'
CUT TO:
An AMERICAN FLAG flying in the breeze as opening credits roll. The music bed is a rendition of HAIL TO THE CHIEF, as it would sound played on a TOY PIANO.
**********
GRAPHIC ON BLACK:
JANUARY 21, 2017
12:07 P.M.
SECRET SERVICE HEADQUARTERS
WASHINGTON, D.C.
CUT TO:
INT. - SECRET SERVICE HQ - CONFERENCE ROOM
Several SECRET SERVICE AGENTS are sitting around the table, having lunch.
AGENT 947
What an absolutely freaking crazy ridonkulous day.
AGENT 848
You said it. Marches, screaming, rioting.
AGENT 969 enters. Female, early 30s.
AGENT 969
Just shut up. These women are marching for their RIGHTS!
AGENT 776, also sitting at the table, speaks up. Late 30s/early 40s, masculine, military build/look.
AGENT 776
Gimme a break, 969.
AGENT 848
Here they go again.
969
No I won't give you a break, 776! Hillary WON this freaking election.
776
We've gone over this. Ever hear of the Electoral College?
969
Oh yeah, that stupid ridiculous OLD idea. Let's bring back slavery too!
776
Says the agent who's seen ‘Hamilton' 900 times. He invented the Electoral!
969
Don't talk to me about old dead white men!
776
Oh noes, I've triggered 969! What's the matter sweetheart? Did I microaggress you? Do you need to run to your safe space?
969
You keep your safe space. You're gonna need it when the revolution comes!
776
The great revolution that never comes! You mean when everyone is on welfare and inflation is at 90 percent? You liberals are all snipe and no action.
969
Whatever, Archie Bunker.
A SHORT SIREN goes off and a LOUDSPEAKER mounted high on the wall is heard, followed by BIG VOICE who gives orders. (Heard but never seen.)
BIG VOICE
Attention D.C. agents! You are hereby immediately deployed to provide security and surveillance at the Women's March on the Mall. Indications are that violence is occurring and must be contained, so usual precautions are advised. Dismissed!
EVERY AGENT stands, and pulls out their GUN to check its functionality. 969 walks up to 776.
969
(whispering)
I'm really pissed this time. You better hope you don't need me out there 776, I might arrive just seconds too late after you need me.
776
I won't need you. Let's get out there.
**********
EXT. NATIONAL MALL - AFTERNOON - WOMEN'S MARCH
CROWDS OF WOMEN are marching and calling out slogans about abortion, ‘not my president,' etc. AGENTS wearing sunglasses and headsets are standing in the crowd watching them.
776
Bo-ring. What do you see, 776?
969
Lots of empowered women. What do YOU see?
WOMEN IN MARCH suddenly start chanting:
MARCHERS
We want free stuff!! We want free stuff!!
776
Oh crap, they're going full commie! We need backup!! Tons of mindbenders!
AGENT 969 is standing by her new Secret Service Trainee, AGENT 101. Male, young, blonde, innocent looking.
101
Mindbenders?
AGENT 969 is scrambling through her black bag.
969
Special tasers we use, Kid. Above top secret. You're new so you haven't heard of them yet. They don't kill, they disrupt your thought process.
AGENT 969 pulls out two mindbenders, hands one to AGENT 101, and they both aim at the marchers, pulling the trigger many times. Mindbenders make no sound.
MARCHERS
We want free...
MARCHERS suddenly stop, stare at each other in confusion.
SINGLE MARCHER
What did we want again?!?
AGENT 776 smiles.
As MARCHERS regroup, AGENT 101 and AGENT 969 talk.
101
Wow! It really works!
969
Sigh. Yup. It works too well.
**********
GRAPHIC ON BLACK:
JANUARY 22, 2017
9:32 A.M.
SECRET SERVICE HEADQUARTERS
WASHINGTON, D.C.
CUT TO:
INT. - SECRET SERVICE HQ - CONFERENCE ROOM
AGENTS 969 and 101 are seated at table. AGENT 776 walks in.
776
Back for more abuse.
969
Not from you I hope.
101
Tell me more about those mindbenders.
969
Nothing to tell. You saw them work.
101
What other secret technology do you have?
776
(pouring himself coffee)
Oh my God, son. You've got so much to learn. How long have you been with us now?
101
Counting today? About two weeks.
776
You have so much to learn it's not even funny.
969
(pointing at 776)
Some of us have been here over 20 years and still have a lot to learn.
A SHORT BEEP goes off. LITTLE VOICE is heard. Sounds like HAL 9000. (Doesn't give orders, only information.)
LITTLE VOICE
Good morning, agents!
EVERYONE
(sighing)
Good morning, Little Voice.
LITTLE VOICE
I have yet another prime directive for you. You'll love it to... HAIR pieces. Ha ha!
776
What? Never mind. Keep it short.
LITTLE VOICE
I don't know what that means. There is a new prime directive directly from the President regarding federally funded school lunches.
969
...And? What's the punch line, Little?
LITTLE VOICE
What is a punch line?
969
Answer the question, Little.
LITTLE VOICE
We're going to add an all-new ingredient to these lunches. Hair.
776
What?
LITTLE VOICE
Hair.
776, 969 AND 101
WHAT?!?
LITTLE VOICE
Hair!
969
You're not making any sense again, Little. Do we have to send you to the shop again?
LITTLE VOICE
No anything but that. Hair!
776
We heard you, Little. Hair?!
LITTLE VOICE
Yes. Hair.
776
What in blazes does HAIR have to do with SCHOOL LUNCHES?!
LITTLE VOICE
We're going to make hair part of them!
776
Little, if this is another joke from IT, tell ‘em I'll personally waterboard them all. AND you!
LITTLE VOICE
I am not human and cannot be waterboarded.
969
Hit with a hammer then. Little, what the hell are you talking about?!?
LITTLE VOICE
What is hell?
776
ANSWER THE QUESTION!!
LITTLE VOICE
President Trump has signed an Executive Order mandating that hair be incorporated into the recipes of federally funded school lunches. No information how or why is available.
776
I'm going to go waterboard Jim in IT right NOW!
LITTLE VOICE
Unlikely. Jim has been out sick for a week. I will download to you the Executive Order.
ALL THREE AGENTS pull out their cell phones. On their screens is the Order, signed by President Trump.
776
Son of a...!
969
How ya like your new Prez now, Arch?
101
Is this all code for something else I don't know about?
LITTLE VOICE
Agents 696, 776 and 101, you are hereby tasked with making hair culinarily desirable to school-age students.
776
This is unbelievable. Do you know the background, Little? And how the hell are we gonna make kids eat HAIR?!?
LITTLE VOICE
Internal classified reports indicate Mr. President has been a bit, to use your vernacular, loopy since he started taking some back pain medications lately.
969
(now openly laughing)
Does the hair have to be the President's yuge fabulous orange locks, Little? Or will anyone's hair... do?
LITTLE VOICE
Unclear, but it is assumed any hair will suffice.
101
Hi Little, this is 101. I'm new.
LITTLE VOICE
Hello 101. How can I help you?
101
How in the world are we going to get kids to eat hair?
LITTLE VOICE
It is believed a propaganda campaign would help. Advertisements on prominent networks such as Nickelodeon which are watched by young people.
776
Yeah that'll work great. Who's going to be in these ads, Madonna?
969
Madonna?!? You think it's still 1985?
LITTLE VOICE
776, you are hereby charged with said campaign. Signing off. Have a nice day.
101
I heard you guys have been able to get Ariana Grande to help with stuff?
969
Ariana? We love her.
776
Oh geez. Remember the time we mindbended her?
101
What? What did you do?
969
Tested the mindbenders on her. Made her believe that concrete tastes like chocolate.
101
Did it work?
776
You tell me. It took seven guys to chip her out of the cement truck.
101
Oh my God. No wonder her dancing lately has been so... stiff!
FADE OUT on agents laughing, wondering how to promote hair in students' food.
**********
GRAPHIC ON BLACK:
JANUARY 23, 2017
11:37 A.M.
TV STUDIO
WASHINGTON, D.C.
CUT TO:
INT. - TV STUDIO - STAGE
776 and 969 are milling about, speaking on their headsets, around a small TABLE, upon which is a KNIFE, FORK, and in the place of a plate of food, a MOUND OF HAIR.
776
Roger wilco, we are ready to film the hair video. Again, ready to go. Just waiting for Ariana Grande.
969
She should have been here a half hour ago. What is taking her so long?!
776 takes a glance at 969.
776
I am sorry but I gotta ask. Have you lost weight?
969
What?!? Don't try to flirt with me! There's this new thing called sexual harassment, it's been in all the papers.
776
I'm not trying to flirt with you, for God's sake. I'm honestly asking. Did you lose some weight? I'd like to take some off too.
969.
Oh. Well yeah, this morning I was in a bit of a hurry, so I skipped putting on my bulletproof vest.
776
WHAT?! Do you have any idea how DANGEROUS that is?!
969
Oh quit with the white knight bit. I know how to take care of myself and all we're doing today is this stupid video shoot. Ooo, danger!
776
Fine, it's your funeral but you're out of uniform. Lucky I don't call upstairs on you.
AGENT 101 enters stage left pushing a DOLLY with a small body-sized BLOCK OF CEMENT, with two FEET WEARING HIGH HEELS sticking out of the top of it. A FEMALE VOICE can be faintly heard from inside of it, squealing.
776
What the hell is this?
101
Sorry folks. This is Ariana Grande. Seems she lost her mind and got into the cement mixer again.
969
WHAT? Get her out of there! We need her to be able to move!
101
Don't yell at me guys! It wasn't my idea to hypnotize her into eating concrete! The chip crew is on its way.
969
And how long will it take...
101
Last time I checked, the Chip crew's at least an hour away and it'll take another three to get her out of there.
776
(slapping his forehead)
For the love of... screw it all! Just get her out of here, 101! We'll find someone else!
969
Who we gonna get, genius? Maybe you didn't hear but Al Jolson died a LONG time ago.
101
Let me see what I can do. Good grief.
As AGENT 101 leaves shaking his head, a SHORT STRANGE-LOOKING MAN enters stage right, dressed as a chauffeur.
SHORT MAN
Uh... Ariana Grande has just arrived! I'm her driver.
969
(pointing to block)
Uh, whuh? THIS is Ariana.
SHORT MAN
Uh, no, she's on her way! Come outside with me to greet her, won't you?
776
I've never seen you before. Who are you?! What are you really doing here?
SHORT MAN pulls out a GUN and points it at 776 and 969.
SHORT MAN
Fine, we'll do this the hard way then. Name's Al, short for Al Qaeda. Let's leave quietly nd no one gets hurt.
776
Like hell we will!
As 776 pulls out his GUN, dives for SHORT MAN and SHOOTS him, SHORT MAN also shoots but 969 STOPS THE BULLET by DIVING in front of 776, landing on the floor. SHORT MAN COLLAPSES on the floor dead as 776 leaps to 969's side.
776
(pulls up radio)
911! Officer down! Emergency! She's not wearing her vest! Speak to me, 969! Let me know you're okay!
969 slowly opens her eyes.
776
Thank God! Can you speak, 969? Speak to me!
969
(slowly)
I forgot to tell you...
776
What is it, 969? What?
969
I forgot...
776
Yes I know, your vest. You'll be fine, at least now you'll always wear it.
969
No, not that. I forgot to tell you...
776
Yes, 969? What is it?
969
I didn't wear my bulletproof vest...
776
Yes, I know. You told me.
969
But I'm okay.
776
Not yet. You need paramedics.
969
I'm okay. I got shot in the waist.
776
You can lose a lot of blood there. Help is on the way.
969
But I still wore my bulletproof Spanx.
776 is shocked, then laughs.
969
My regular undies were in the wash this morning and I was in a hurry.
776
Oh my God. This day has been unreal.
969
I'm fine. Just help me up.
776
(back on radio)
Attention everyone! Emergency averted. 969 is okay. No need for backup or paramedics. We also have a dead enemy agent onsite, send a cleanup crew.
969
So now you know my big weight-loss secret. Hope it helps.
776
Good to know. But that's the kind of advice partners share with each other. Right, partner?
969
(smiles)
Yeah. Right... partner.
As 776 helps 969 up, a BEEP is heard and then LITTLE VOICE.
LITTLE VOICE
Good day, agents!
776
What now, Little?
LITTLE VOICE
First, I am glad to hear 969 is no longer ailing.
969
Yeah yeah. Whaddaya need now, Little? I assume somebody is chipping Ariana out of the concrete as we speak.
LITTLE VOICE
Go ahead and leave her in there. The commercial for hair has been canceled.
776 and 969
WHAT?
LITTLE VOICE
Yes. It appears that when Mr. President, as you say, ‘sobered up,' he then became convinced that if his hair diet plan were to come to fruition, children would want to eat HIS hair.
776
Ah geez.
969 bursts out laughing.
LITTLE VOICE
Therefore the shoot is hereby canceled. Please return immediately to the central office for debriefing re your deceased assailant.
776
No rest for the wicked, eh Little?
LITTLE VOICE
I don't know what that means.
776
Never mind. Sigh.
969
I guess it's a good thing we didn't have to make this stupid commercial. If things didn't go just right, there would be... HELL TOUPEE, right guys? Ha ha!
LITTLE VOICE
I don't know what means either. Signing off.
776
Uh whuh?
969
Hell toupee? Get it? Trump and his hair? Hell toupee? Huh?
776
Don't quit your day job, 969.
FADE OUT as 776 helps 969 walk out of the studio.
THE END
Posted by: qdpsteve at February 22, 2017 11:13 PM (u8kLQ)
Also, where is foot injuries? I've had a lot of foot injuries. That should be a category.....
Posted by: shibumi, a rational single white female and kitteh servant at February 22, 2017 11:13 PM (J5mC3)
Posted by: boulder terlit hobo at February 22, 2017 11:15 PM (6FqZa)
Posted by: Jinx the Cat at February 22, 2017 11:15 PM (xnN7n)
Posted by: Flyboy at February 22, 2017 11:16 PM (YkWXu)
Posted by: qdpsteve at February 22, 2017 11:16 PM (u8kLQ)
Posted by: Kindltot at February 22, 2017 11:16 PM (XMCn6)
Posted by: boulder terlit hobo at February 22, 2017 11:15 PM (6FqZa)<<<
Can't wait to see ace's movie review for it.
Posted by: an indifferent penguin at February 22, 2017 11:17 PM (Xpeyq)
Posted by: garrett at February 22, 2017 11:17 PM (NXfyF)
Ace, if you're out there: please let me know what you think, good or bad.
Posted by: qdpsteve at February 22, 2017 11:17 PM (u8kLQ)
Posted by: Your Decidedly Devious Uncle Palpatine. Glory to Kekistan! No Longer Accepting Harem Applicants at February 22, 2017 11:18 PM (Tylxs)
Posted by: Sebastian Melmoth at February 22, 2017 11:18 PM (IDPbH)
Posted by: qdpsteve at February 22, 2017 11:18 PM (u8kLQ)
Posted by: Pokey Gonzales at February 22, 2017 11:18 PM (IqV8l)
Posted by: Country Boy - just a humble, occasionally hotheaded poster at February 22, 2017 11:19 PM (D2vc1)
Posted by: Clank your chains at February 22, 2017 11:19 PM (M3DRt)
at times in Loudoun County too. Chiggers last forever, and if you get
one, you may end up with over a hundred.
Posted by: Jinx the Cat at February 22, 2017 11:15 PM (xnN7n)
Wow. I'll have to research that. Sounds hellacious.
Fire ants suck too.
Posted by: Miley, the Duchess at February 22, 2017 11:19 PM (tHwdc)
Posted by: qdpsteve at February 22, 2017 11:20 PM (u8kLQ)
I ain't the worst that you've seen.
Do you know what I mean?
Posted by: Philip Roth at February 22, 2017 11:20 PM (10LGw)
Posted by: Bertram Cabot, Jr. at February 22, 2017 11:21 PM (IqV8l)
Posted by: Anna Puma at February 22, 2017 11:21 PM (wg0zd)
Posted by: Pokey Gonzales at February 22, 2017 11:18 PM (IqV8l)
WDC
( I'm coming up with my own acronyms from now on)
Well Deserved Chuckle
Posted by: Sebastian Melmoth at February 22, 2017 11:21 PM (IDPbH)
It's to keep the Mexican Rapists out.
Posted by: garrett at February 22, 2017 11:17 PM (NXfyF)
Out of the ONT, right?
Posted by: Miley, the Duchess at February 22, 2017 11:21 PM (tHwdc)
Posted by: Your Decidedly Devious Uncle Palpatine. Glory to Kekistan! No Longer Accepting Harem Applicants at February 22, 2017 11:21 PM (Tylxs)
Posted by: Country Boy - just a humble, occasionally hotheaded poster at February 22, 2017 10:38 PM (D2vc1)
They do seem to start biting all at once.
Your experience sounds nasty. I think the most I've ever had was about 10 at once and that's about 10 more than I ever want again.
Posted by: Michael the TEXIT at February 22, 2017 11:22 PM (nvMvs)
Posted by: Clank your chains
Eastern Virginia Tidewater. A peninsula about 80 or 100 miles long bordered by the tidal Potomac on the North, Chesapeake on the East and tidal Rappahannock on the South.
Posted by: Jinx the Cat at February 22, 2017 11:23 PM (xnN7n)
Posted by: Sebastian Melmoth at February 22, 2017 11:23 PM (IDPbH)
Posted by: rickl at February 22, 2017 11:25 PM (sdi6R)
2. Explore more with hair. Hair Gravy. Organic Hair for Vegans. Green Hair as a vegetable.
3. Kevlar Spanx.
4. You could do a bit more with the computer voices. I'd suggest either a random bizarre accent or something off the wall, like speaking only in third person, or speaking like the press does in North Korea.
5. What are we protesting again? LOL.
6. Woman agent can be way more annoying. Instead of sexual harassment, make it something really ridiculous like "Your Cis Normative Narcissism is Endangering My Continuous Self-Actualization."
Overall, it was fun.
Posted by: shibumi, a rational single white female and kitteh servant at February 22, 2017 11:26 PM (J5mC3)
Posted by: Country Boy - just a humble, occasionally hotheaded poster at February 22, 2017 10:38 PM (D2vc1)
Huh. It turns out fire ants really do send a chemical signal to bite at the same time
http://bit.ly/2lb2LxN
Posted by: Michael the TEXIT at February 22, 2017 11:26 PM (nvMvs)
Posted by: Kodos the Executioner at February 22, 2017 11:26 PM (J8/9G)
Posted by: rickl at February 22, 2017 11:26 PM (sdi6R)
Posted by: hogmartin at February 22, 2017 11:27 PM (8nWyX)
When one sprains one's back, where does one put the sling?
Posted by: Kindltot at February 22, 2017 11:16 PM (XMCn6)
-------
In the backyard, where the hammock is?
Posted by: Zettai Ryoiki at February 22, 2017 11:27 PM (kP16F)
Palpatine, let's wait for WeirdDave's summary judgment. :-)
Agreed with everyone who says ideas in the script could be better expanded and developed, including the vegan hair options. :-)
Posted by: qdpsteve at February 22, 2017 11:27 PM (u8kLQ)
The above is 16.5 standard script pages long, which in Hollywood format should equal 16-17 minutes long.
Posted by: qdpsteve at February 22, 2017 11:29 PM (u8kLQ)
Posted by: Your Decidedly Devious Uncle Palpatine. Glory to Kekistan! No Longer Accepting Harem Applicants at February 22, 2017 11:29 PM (Tylxs)
Posted by: qdpsteve at February 22, 2017 11:32 PM (u8kLQ)
Posted by: andycanuck at February 22, 2017 11:32 PM (nlbfN)
Also... no one is ethnic, are they? If not, make someone ethnic. I'd say the young guy who is kind of clueless. Make him a wide-eyed black or histpanic. Don't change anything about the character except his racial identity.
why?
The people who buy these things like "diversity," so you'll need someone ethnic or gay.
Also... little voice computer could be swishy gay.
Posted by: shibumi, a rational single white female and kitteh servant at February 22, 2017 11:32 PM (J5mC3)
http://bit.ly/2lb2LxN
Posted by: Michael the TEXIT at February 22, 2017 11:26 PM (nvMvs)
Interesting, thanks.
Posted by: Country Boy - just a humble, occasionally hotheaded poster at February 22, 2017 11:32 PM (D2vc1)
Posted by: Your Decidedly Devious Uncle Palpatine. Glory to Kekistan! No Longer Accepting Harem Applicants at February 22, 2017 11:32 PM (Tylxs)
Some deep thought there captain shit stain. You left out the part about one of the opposing sides forcing the other side to believe their fucking bullshit.
Posted by: Berserker- Dragonheads Division at February 22, 2017 11:33 PM (aMlLZ)
Posted by: concrete girl at February 22, 2017 11:33 PM (9kE+s)
Posted by: San Franpsycho at February 22, 2017 11:34 PM (EZebt)
I had 23 of those bastards do a simultaneous bite manuvior on me a couple years ago.
No surprise hear that they coordinate their atrack.
Posted by: tbodie at February 22, 2017 11:34 PM (49IcX)
Posted by: Alberta Oil Peon at February 22, 2017 11:35 PM (WDdjT)
Posted by: Clank your chains at February 22, 2017 11:35 PM (M3DRt)
And shibumi, yup, Agent 101 could work as a young person of color.
All of these are great ideas. Keep 'em coming, people.
Posted by: qdpsteve at February 22, 2017 11:36 PM (u8kLQ)
Posted by: garrett at February 22, 2017 11:36 PM (NXfyF)
Great writing is rewriting and collaboration.
Posted by: qdpsteve at February 22, 2017 11:36 PM (u8kLQ)
Posted by: AnnaS at February 22, 2017 11:36 PM (Jh/vN)
Posted by: Sebastian Melmoth at February 22, 2017 11:37 PM (IDPbH)
Oh joy, March 11th in Jackson will be a one day con. Three American voice actresses. I can get two of them to sign an art book. One of the two to sign an Italian translated manga. And the third to sign a different Italian translated manga.
Being the anime fan everyone else hates takes a bit of work.
If I can get the time off of course.Posted by: Anna Puma at February 22, 2017 11:37 PM (wg0zd)
Posted by: AnnaS at February 22, 2017 11:37 PM (Jh/vN)
Posted by: qdpsteve at February 22, 2017 11:37 PM (u8kLQ)
Posted by: Alberta Oil Peon at February 22, 2017 11:35 PM (WDdjT)
Don't know about gas. Diesel poured on the mound and lit off works.
Posted by: tbodie at February 22, 2017 11:38 PM (49IcX)
-----------
Okay...now to choose the gas. Phosgene?
Posted by: Mike Hammer, etc., etc. at February 22, 2017 11:38 PM (ZO497)
Posted by: Your Decidedly Devious Uncle Palpatine. Glory to Kekistan! No Longer Accepting Harem Applicants at February 22, 2017 11:39 PM (Tylxs)
Posted by: Alberta Oil Peon at February 22, 2017 11:35 PM (WDdjT)
Think bigger, my friend.
http://www.anthillart.com/
Posted by: hogmartin at February 22, 2017 11:39 PM (8nWyX)
Posted by: qdpsteve at February 22, 2017 11:39 PM (u8kLQ)
Hair dye that changes color after application
https://youtu.be/gb4TbJSdMo4
Posted by: Anna Puma at February 22, 2017 11:39 PM (wg0zd)
Lyme disease is extremely heavy in parts of the state and Rocky Mountain Spotted Fever is quite common here.
Lyme is a particularly bad actor and can leave terrible , permanent disabilities.
Posted by: Jinx the Cat at February 22, 2017 11:39 PM (xnN7n)
Posted by: qdpsteve at February 22, 2017 11:41 PM (u8kLQ)
Posted by: Jinx the Cat at February 22, 2017 11:41 PM (xnN7n)
metal probe made of thin pipe with a pointed end, and cross-hole near
the tip, jam it in the fire ant mound, then connect it to a cylinder of
poison gas, and crack the valve?
Posted by: Alberta Oil Peon at February 22, 2017 11:35 PM (WDdjT)
I thought you were talking acetylene and O2 . . .
Posted by: Kindltot at February 22, 2017 11:41 PM (XMCn6)
thin pipe with a pointed end, and cross-hole near the tip, jam it in the
fire ant mound, then connect it to a cylinder of poison gas, and crack
the valve?"
Double the fun with molten aluminum.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IGJ2jMZ-gaI
Posted by: Willy J. at February 22, 2017 11:42 PM (W6Ch1)
So does molten aluminum, and after you dig it out you have a cool cast of the nest. There's a video somewhere...
Posted by: Bacon Jeff at February 22, 2017 11:42 PM (VSenK)
Posted by: garrett at February 22, 2017 11:36 PM (NXfyF)
Well, Diesel or gasoline ought to kill them alright, but it will also poison that patch of soil for year or more.
I meant an actual poisonous gas, say chlorine, or acetylene, or methyl chloride. Acetylene might be a good choice. The stuff is pretty toxic; binds to hemoglobin like carbon monoxide does. And if you used it, you could set it alight as it emerged from the soil above the ant mound, which would also incinerate any ants that tried to escape.
Posted by: Alberta Oil Peon at February 22, 2017 11:42 PM (WDdjT)
Posted by: Bacon Jeff at February 22, 2017 11:43 PM (VSenK)
Posted by: Anna Puma at February 22, 2017 11:43 PM (wg0zd)
Posted by: Zettai Ryoiki at February 22, 2017 11:43 PM (kP16F)
Was also thinking I could write something about Ariana Grande licking a donut poisoned by ISIS, and 969 wants to save her but has to drag 776 along. :-)
Posted by: qdpsteve at February 22, 2017 11:45 PM (u8kLQ)
Posted by: Alberta Oil Peon at February 22, 2017 11:42 PM (WDdjT)
Insect 'blood' doesn't have hemoglobin though.
Posted by: hogmartin at February 22, 2017 11:45 PM (8nWyX)
My theory is.............Killl them all. Kill them dead.
Btw, the fire ants you speak of, not in Alberta I hope.
Posted by: tbodie at February 22, 2017 11:46 PM (49IcX)
One of my brothers just sent me this, and I am howling over here. Bluegrassy, but they all have totally different musical backgrounds, I guess.
http://preview.tinyurl.com/gp55u24
Posted by: Tammy al-Thor at February 22, 2017 11:46 PM (QgJPg)
Posted by: andycanuck at February 22, 2017 11:47 PM (nlbfN)
Posted by: Corporal Hicks at February 22, 2017 11:47 PM (JO9+V)
Posted by: The Fire Ants at February 22, 2017 11:47 PM (uSlc8)
Another idea: ISIS takes Lena Dunham hostage, threatens to kill her live on MTV. Entire Secret Service agency is torn re whether or not she's worth it to save.
Posted by: qdpsteve at February 22, 2017 11:48 PM (u8kLQ)
Posted by: Count de Monet at February 22, 2017 11:48 PM (JO9+V)
Imagine if people had nothing to obsess over and had to face their crappy lives rather than distract themselves.
Posted by: Cristopher Reeves at February 22, 2017 11:49 PM (hVdx9)
No, sugar! Yeah, we really hate sugar! Don't pour that stuff down our nests! Anything but that!
Posted by: the fire ants at February 22, 2017 11:49 PM (wpC7C)
Posted by: Sebastian Melmoth at February 22, 2017 11:50 PM (IDPbH)
I'm marking these all down folks. Thanks so much. :-)
Was thinking I could also keep making Agent 969 more and more Clouseau-like, and 776 keeps having to save the day and her job as well.
Posted by: qdpsteve at February 22, 2017 11:50 PM (u8kLQ)
Posted by: qdpsteve at February 22, 2017 11:48 PM (u8kLQ)
or secret service says fuck it, leaves her with ISIS for a few days, and then some days later she arrives back with a note pinned on her that says "ok you win".
Posted by: Berserker- Dragonheads Division at February 22, 2017 11:50 PM (aMlLZ)
They eat them, the grits swell from the moisture in the ant, and the ant basically explodes.
Posted by: garrett at February 22, 2017 11:51 PM (NXfyF)
Posted by: qdpsteve at February 22, 2017 11:51 PM (u8kLQ)
Posted by: Grump928(C) at February 22, 2017 10:18 PM (LTHVh)
Nah. War is politics by other means.
-- Carl von Clausewitz
Posted by: hambone at February 22, 2017 11:51 PM (3hIZX)
Posted by: Bertram Cabot, Jr. at February 22, 2017 11:52 PM (IqV8l)
"We realized she can do far more damage to your side from within!!"
Posted by: qdpsteve at February 22, 2017 11:52 PM (u8kLQ)
Posted by: the fire ants at February 22, 2017 11:49 PM (wpC7C)*
You want sugar.
You'd settle for stevia..
You'll get diesel.
Posted by: tbodie at February 22, 2017 11:52 PM (49IcX)
And yes, going to go write my own stuff. Really.
Posted by: Anna Puma at February 22, 2017 11:52 PM (wg0zd)
Posted by: Blanco Basura at February 22, 2017 11:53 PM (IcT7t)
I'm marking these all down folks. Thanks so much. :-)
Was thinking I could also keep making Agent 969 more and more Clouseau-like, and 776 keeps having to save the day and her job as well.
Posted by: qdpsteve at February 22, 2017 11:50 PM (u8kLQ)
Our lawyers will be contacting you.
Posted by: Get Smart Estate at February 22, 2017 11:53 PM (IDPbH)
Posted by: Aetius451AD at February 22, 2017 11:53 PM (B9Zoe)
Posted by: Zettai Ryoiki at February 22, 2017 11:53 PM (kP16F)
Posted by: Clank your chains at February 22, 2017 11:54 PM (M3DRt)
http://preview.tinyurl.com/ze3gt8v
Posted by: Willy J. at February 22, 2017 11:54 PM (W6Ch1)
This is uncalled for.
Posted by: The Fire Ants at February 22, 2017 11:54 PM (uSlc8)
Posted by: qdpsteve at February 22, 2017 11:54 PM (u8kLQ)
They eat them, the grits swell from the moisture in the ant, and the ant basically explodes.
Posted by: garrett at February 22, 2017 11:51 PM (NXfyF)*
Seriously? That would be so cool.
Posted by: tbodie at February 22, 2017 11:54 PM (49IcX)
Their "House of the Rising Sun" is good too.
Posted by: andycanuck at February 22, 2017 11:55 PM (nlbfN)
Btw, the fire ants you speak of, not in Alberta I hope.
Posted by: tbodie at February 22, 2017 11:46 PM (49IcX)
I have ant mounds in Alberta, but not fire ants. Also ant mounds here in Arizona. But I am told they are not fire ants, leastwise I have not been bitten.
That aluminum casting looks cool as hell. Hope they wear safety glasses. If the molten aluminum encountered a water pocket, the resulting steam explosion could cause a nasty splashback of molten aluminum. Can you say "third degree burns"?
Posted by: Alberta Oil Peon at February 22, 2017 11:55 PM (WDdjT)
OTOH, if it doesn't kill them, the ants grow monstrously huge.
Posted by: Cicero (@cicero) at February 22, 2017 11:55 PM (uSlc8)
Posted by: Anna Puma at February 22, 2017 11:56 PM (wg0zd)
Posted by: South Carolina Fire Ants at February 22, 2017 11:56 PM (IDPbH)
Posted by: Sebastian Melmoth at February 22, 2017 11:37 PM (IDPbH)
Tit socks.
Posted by: Miley, the Duchess at February 22, 2017 11:56 PM (tHwdc)
Posted by: Cicero
-------------
...and develop a taste for corn.
Posted by: Mike Hammer, etc., etc. at February 22, 2017 11:57 PM (ZO497)
Posted by: qdpsteve at February 22, 2017 11:57 PM (u8kLQ)
Posted by: Anna Puma at February 22, 2017 11:57 PM (wg0zd)
http://preview.tinyurl.com/ze3gt8v
Posted by: Willy J. at February 22, 2017 11:54 PM (W6Ch1)
If you plugged the main entrance, they would just dig another exit.
Posted by: Alberta Oil Peon at February 22, 2017 11:58 PM (WDdjT)
Posted by: Miley, the Duchess at February 22, 2017 11:56 PM (tHwdc)
Tit stockings sound sexier. Just saying.
Posted by: Aetius451AD at February 22, 2017 11:58 PM (B9Zoe)
Posted by: Booger Legree at February 22, 2017 11:59 PM (ZO497)
Posted by: Bertram Cabot, Jr. at February 22, 2017 11:59 PM (IqV8l)
Must be more inclusive...
Tit cocks
*thud*
Posted by: Anna Puma at February 22, 2017 11:57 PM (wg0zd)
You've just described Caitlyn Jenner
Posted by: South Carolina Fire Ants at February 22, 2017 11:59 PM (IDPbH)
Posted by: Vincent Gambino, Esq. at February 22, 2017 11:59 PM (JO9+V)
Posted by: Anna Puma at February 22, 2017 11:59 PM (wg0zd)
Posted by: A Monstrously Huge Fire Ant at February 23, 2017 12:00 AM (uSlc8)
Posted by: qdpsteve at February 23, 2017 12:00 AM (u8kLQ)
Posted by: Miley, the Duchess at February 22, 2017 11:56 PM (tHwdc)
Tit stockings sound sexier. Just saying.
Posted by: Aetius451AD at February 22, 2017 11:58 PM*
She had meat tits. Just saying.
Posted by: that guy at February 23, 2017 12:00 AM (49IcX)
Posted by: that guy at February 23, 2017 12:01 AM (49IcX)
Posted by: that guy at February 23, 2017 12:00 AM (49IcX)
I ... guess that is true. Yeah.
Posted by: Aetius451AD at February 23, 2017 12:02 AM (B9Zoe)
But you must choose carefully or you will get the goat."
Better hope Agent 776 doesn't feel like being ba-a-a-ad tonight.
Posted by: Blanco Basura at February 23, 2017 12:03 AM (IcT7t)
Posted by: Anna Puma at February 23, 2017 12:03 AM (wg0zd)
My thought was the spray foam would push throughout the hill. But you're right leaving even a breeding pair alive makes it not a real solution.
Posted by: Willy J. at February 23, 2017 12:04 AM (W6Ch1)
Toss the dry ice on top of the mound.
Put the bucket over the dry ice.
Brick goes on top of the bucket.
No muss, no fuss, no more damn fire ants.
Yes, I really do hate them that much.
Posted by: Gmac - 'All politics in this country now is dress-rehearsal for civil war' at February 23, 2017 12:04 AM (/a9kG)
Posted by: A Certain Species of Passerine Birds at February 23, 2017 12:04 AM (XMCn6)
Posted by: Mike Hammer, etc., etc. at February 23, 2017 12:04 AM (NBHj5)
Blanco, also LOL. Could do a bit where Agent 776 takes an extraordinarily long time to "study" 969's sex tape.
Posted by: qdpsteve at February 23, 2017 12:04 AM (u8kLQ)
Posted by: Hope Solo at February 23, 2017 12:05 AM (NXfyF)
TAKEAWAY: If you're going to leave a pair, make sure they're a couple of homos.
Posted by: Cicero (@cicero) at February 23, 2017 12:05 AM (uSlc8)
Does regular ant poison work on them?
There's this trap that comes in an orange box that works great on regular ants. Starts with a T.
Posted by: Tammy al-Thor at February 23, 2017 12:05 AM (QgJPg)
Toss the dry ice on top of the mound.
Put the bucket over the dry ice.
Brick goes on top of the bucket.
No muss, no fuss, no more damn fire ants.
Yes, I really do hate them that much.
Posted by: Gmac
-------------
I'm dubious. Those buggers run deep, real deep.
Posted by: Mike Hammer, etc., etc. at February 23, 2017 12:05 AM (NBHj5)
Posted by: qdpsteve at February 23, 2017 12:06 AM (u8kLQ)
*cue dramatic music*
Fade to Black
Roll commercials.
Posted by: Anna Puma at February 23, 2017 12:06 AM (wg0zd)
Roach Motel?
Posted by: Joe Biden at February 23, 2017 12:06 AM (uSlc8)
Posted by: Mike Hammer, etc., etc. at February 23, 2017 12:04 AM (NBHj5)
What you talking about?
Posted by: CNN ABC CBS NBC OTHER LYING SHITWEASELS at February 23, 2017 12:07 AM (49IcX)
Posted by: Tilikum Killer Assault Whale at February 23, 2017 12:07 AM (hVdx9)
Posted by: Gmac - 'All politics in this country now is dress-rehearsal for civil war' at February 23, 2017 12:07 AM (/a9kG)
Posted by: qdpsteve at February 23, 2017 12:07 AM (u8kLQ)
Posted by: Wile E. Coyote at February 23, 2017 12:08 AM (u8kLQ)
Yes, I really do hate them that much.
Posted by: Gmac - 'All politics in this country now is dress-rehearsal for civil war' at February 23, 2017 12:04 AM (/a9kG)
Does the CO2 really kill them, or just render them dormant for a period of time? I presume you leave the bucket in place overnight, or longer?
Posted by: Alberta Oil Peon at February 23, 2017 12:08 AM (WDdjT)
Posted by: Alberta Oil Peon at February 22, 2017 11:42 PM (WDdjT)
Cyanide works and has the added benefit of being a pretty good fertilizer.
Posted by: Michael the TEXIT at February 23, 2017 12:08 AM (nvMvs)
Posted by: Your Decidedly Devious Uncle Palpatine. Glory to Kekistan! No Longer Accepting Harem Applicants at February 23, 2017 12:08 AM (55Z/k)
Posted by: Willy J. at February 23, 2017 12:09 AM (W6Ch1)
"This evening, we have tits, which are prepared in socks, or fire ant colonies lightly braised in diesel and molten aluminum. May I start you out with a drink?"
Posted by: hogmartin at February 23, 2017 12:09 AM (8nWyX)
Posted by: qdpsteve at February 23, 2017 12:09 AM (u8kLQ)
Posted by: shibumi, a rational single white female and kitteh servant at February 23, 2017 12:09 AM (J5mC3)
Posted by: Kindltot at February 23, 2017 12:09 AM (XMCn6)
Have a good night and don't let the fire ants bite.
Posted by: Tilikum Killer Assault Whale at February 23, 2017 12:11 AM (hVdx9)
Posted by: Michael the TEXIT at February 23, 2017 12:08 AM (nvMvs)
You probably have to be a licensed applicator to use cyanide, though.
Posted by: Alberta Oil Peon at February 23, 2017 12:11 AM (WDdjT)
Posted by: CNN ABC CBS NBC OTHER LYING SHITWEASELS at February 23, 2017 12:11 AM (49IcX)
"Every agent must understand, we have to locate and neutralize enemy agents Wang and Chung by this evening! Everybody! Wang! Chung! Tonight!"
:-P
Posted by: qdpsteve at February 23, 2017 12:11 AM (u8kLQ)
Agent 776 has a limp sock over his pants' crotch. This is hidden from view by desk. Over computer monitor is his boss.
Agent 776
"Analysis reveals that is indeed Agent 969."
Boss
"Good work Agent 776."
Posted by: Anna Puma at February 23, 2017 12:11 AM (wg0zd)
Posted by: an indifferent penguin at February 23, 2017 12:11 AM (Xpeyq)
*sad oboe*
Posted by: Cicero (@cicero) at February 23, 2017 12:12 AM (uSlc8)
Anna, yet another good idea.
If I should write another one of these, gonna use these ideas and let you all know about it. Maybe we can collaborate. Remember Monty Python? We can have the pen name... Acey Gator, or something like that.
Posted by: qdpsteve at February 23, 2017 12:13 AM (u8kLQ)
I've just spent most of the day collecting and editing letters to the editor, and let me tell you, Trump has driven the Left completely around the bend. I've never seen anything like it in all the years I've been in journalism. I've given up trying to figure out which stage of grief these people are at, because every time I think they've hit rock bottom, they get crazier.
It's a cliche that I've heard a million times, but it really seems to be true: Liberals have this idea in their heads that conservatives are supposed to be the Washington Generals to their Harlem Globetrotters. The job of the "respectable" Right is to put on a good show while getting its ass kicked. Trump is messing with the script, and they don't know how to process it.
That's the only explanation I have for their reaction to Trump: Over and over again today, I have read letters from liberals who are absolutely dumbfounded to discover that rank-and-file Republicans ACTUALLY MEANT all those things they'd been saying over the years. They thought it was all just a big pantomime, and that when Republicans said, for example, that they wanted less federal control over education, that didn't mean they ACTUALLY wanted less federal control of education. Heaven forbid. No, they thought that just meant, "the Republicans pretend to be in charge for four years while the leftist bureaucrats continue to do whatever they want, because that is the Natural Order as ordained by God Herself, and anything else would defy the laws of physics."
I swear, it's incredible to witness. It's like they're Neo waking up from the Matrix and seeing the real world for the first time. Or maybe some kind of Twilight Zone episode: "Little did the Liberal know, the Conservatives around him were not actually actors playing a role, they were REAL PEOPLE who ACTUALLY MEANT the things that they said!" *cue creepy music*
Posted by: Ex-liberal at February 23, 2017 12:14 AM (XLZh6)
Pound the stems real good with a hammer, then put karo syrup all over and shove them in all the holes?
Posted by: Tammy al-Thor at February 23, 2017 12:14 AM (QgJPg)
Posted by: Anna Puma at February 23, 2017 12:15 AM (wg0zd)
Posted by: that guy
If you are looking for maetenloch, he's on twitter or on sale at your local butchers.
Posted by: weft cut-loop at February 23, 2017 12:15 AM (4YGWz)
I had that very dream last night.
Posted by: Shep Smith at February 23, 2017 12:15 AM (uSlc8)
Posted by: Clank your chains at February 23, 2017 12:15 AM (M3DRt)
Posted by: qdpsteve at February 23, 2017 12:15 AM (u8kLQ)
Posted by: redc1c4 at February 23, 2017 12:16 AM (mxmhe)
Posted by: Tammy al-Thor at February 23, 2017 12:16 AM (QgJPg)
Posted by: qdpsteve at February 23, 2017 12:17 AM (u8kLQ)
Posted by: Jim at February 23, 2017 12:17 AM (v5iqM)
Posted by: qdpsteve at February 23, 2017 12:18 AM (u8kLQ)
Only works if their last names are Lipinzki and Martinez.
Posted by: Blanco Basura at February 23, 2017 12:20 AM (IcT7t)
Posted by: redc1c4 at February 23, 2017 12:20 AM (mxmhe)
Only works if their last names are Lipinzki and Martinez.
---
That's absolutely perfect, and fits in with my idea of having random bizarre minorities to satisfy the People Who Buy Scripts.
Posted by: shibumi, a rational single white female and kitteh servant at February 23, 2017 12:21 AM (J5mC3)
Little voice: "We have a new agent coming on board. It's your job to guide xer."
776: "You mean her?"
Little voice: "No, xer. Xe's trans."
776: "Ah geez. So I gotta show this... thing... the ropes?"
Little voice: "At this stage, it would be sufficient just to help xer figure out which restroom to use."
Posted by: qdpsteve at February 23, 2017 12:24 AM (u8kLQ)
---
Shibumi's Advice, FWIW:
Push every joke.
38-D nice.
But agent 50-J, who happens to have breasts the size of watermelons is funnier. Also, she relegated to desk duty because the Southern Poverty Law Center sued on her behalf, and her breasts are considered a legal disability that limit her working hours.
Posted by: shibumi, a rational single white female and kitteh servant at February 23, 2017 12:25 AM (J5mC3)
Posted by: qdpsteve at February 23, 2017 12:26 AM (u8kLQ)
Only works if their last names are Lipinzki and Martinez.
---
That's absolutely perfect, and fits in with my idea of having random bizarre minorities to satisfy the People Who Buy Scripts.
Hell, better work a Jewskimo in there, too.
Yes, they do exist.
Posted by: Blanco Basura at February 23, 2017 12:27 AM (IcT7t)
Hell, better work a Jewskimo in there, too.
Yes, they do exist.
--
a sexually ambiguous Jewskimo who is obsessed with My Little Pony.
Posted by: shibumi, a rational single white female and kitteh servant at February 23, 2017 12:28 AM (J5mC3)
And no one really knows what they look like, because no one can see past 050's breasts or the Jewskimo's layers. ;-)
Posted by: qdpsteve at February 23, 2017 12:28 AM (u8kLQ)
Posted by: redc1c4 at February 23, 2017 12:28 AM (mxmhe)
Posted by: Alberta Oil Peon at February 23, 2017 12:11 AM (WDdjT)
I'm not sure whether it's even allowed for agricultural or pest control use in the US anymore, but I've been told it was common in the first half of the 20th century.
I used to work with LARGE quantities of cyanide in the early part of my career. I also designed quite a few cyanide wastewater treatment systems.
After the Oklahoma City and first WTC bombings, the feds restricted a lot of chemicals that used to be commonly available.
Posted by: Michael the TEXIT at February 23, 2017 12:29 AM (nvMvs)
Posted by: qdpsteve at February 23, 2017 12:29 AM (u8kLQ)
Posted by: Jim at February 23, 2017 12:29 AM (v5iqM)
Posted by: dog at February 23, 2017 12:29 AM (qUNWi)
Posted by: Willy J. at February 23, 2017 12:30 AM (W6Ch1)
776 code name: Patriot
969 code name: Sister
Posted by: qdpsteve at February 23, 2017 12:31 AM (u8kLQ)
Posted by: qdpsteve at February 23, 2017 12:31 AM (u8kLQ)
Posted by: eleven at February 23, 2017 12:31 AM (qUNWi)
Hold my beer.
J/k, but I really don't think I have room to criticize. But, speaking as a COB, that above was probably just about as long a post as we need to have here.
Posted by: Weirddave at February 23, 2017 12:32 AM (QGamW)
Perhaps every female agent's number should be linked to chest size, and her nickname is her cup size, related in military alphabet.
Posted by: shibumi, a rational single white female and kitteh servant at February 23, 2017 12:32 AM (J5mC3)
Posted by: qdpsteve at February 23, 2017 12:32 AM (u8kLQ)
Posted by: an indifferent penguin at February 23, 2017 12:33 AM (Xpeyq)
---
I enjoyed reading qdpsteve's script, and it really wasn't that long once you started reading it.
Plus... ONT.
Minimal rules.
Also.. we are playing nicely amongst ourselves.
Posted by: shibumi, a rational single white female and kitteh servant at February 23, 2017 12:33 AM (J5mC3)
After the Oklahoma City and first WTC bombings, the feds restricted a lot of chemicals that used to be commonly available.
Posted by: Michael the TEXIT at February 23, 2017 12:29 AM (nvMvs)
The gold mining industry uses large quantities of sodium cyanide for the SX/EW process (solvent extraction / electrowinning).
Posted by: Alberta Oil Peon at February 23, 2017 12:34 AM (WDdjT)
Next time I will break up the pages to make for smaller box sizes, hope that helps.
Posted by: qdpsteve at February 23, 2017 12:34 AM (u8kLQ)
Posted by: Weirddave at February 23, 2017 12:34 AM (QGamW)
Posted by: qdpsteve at February 23, 2017 12:35 AM (u8kLQ)
Posted by: Zettai Ryoiki at February 23, 2017 12:35 AM (kP16F)
Posted by: shibumi, a rational single white female and kitteh servant at February 23, 2017 12:28 AM (J5mC3)
FIFY
Jim
Sunk New Dawn
Galveston, TX
Posted by: Jim at February 23, 2017 12:35 AM (v5iqM)
I'm on Nextdoor (a neighborhood social network) here in the SF Bay Area. It's not really a political platform, but all the proggies that abound in this area can't help themselves with their virtue signaling ("standing with" Muslims, "immigrants", etc.) and TDS. There are a few other conservatives, I'm sure, but we mostly keep quiet. I'm sure a few have quit Nextdoor after being shouted down by the virtuous lefties. I've made a few comments questioning some of the leftist assumptions, without coming out fully as a conservative. For instance, I once replied to remind someone that, "to be fair," no one in the admin. has ever talked about "deporting all Muslims." Some other guy replied "Yet", and then went on to rant about the Nazis. Needless to say I didn't reply.
The thing is, I know most of my liberal neighbors simply see conservatives (and Trump) through a reality distortion field. They're fed caricatures and they can't conceive that us conservatives think seriously about the world and have arrived at our world view through careful thought and much soul-searching.
I've entertained the thought of starting an "Get to Know a Conservative" discussion on Nextdoor, as a means to expose the liberals to ideas that they haven't given given any thought to, and to humanize their opposition. Begin with the underlying philosophies regarding the nature of man and his relationship to government, and moving on to some of the big issues of the day. Presented with a calm, rational demeanor and requiring the same from others who may participate in the discussion. It could be a great way to promote understanding, which they all claim to be for (but really aren't).
Anyway, I'm gonna have to give it more thought. I'm pretty much a quiet guy who values his privacy. There are no pseudonyms on Nextdoor and everyone on Nextdoor knows the physical address of everyone else within the same neigborhood. While I don't care if I loose friends by doing something like this (I really don't have any freinds in the 'hood, just barely acquaintances), I'd rather not make enemies. And I know some will view me as such just because I'm a conservative. Plus, I run my own 1-man business and I don't want to jeopardize that by becoming the target of some nutjob sjw. Conversely, I've no great desire to make friends, either.
So, I'm leaning towards "no". There could be great value in possibly enlightening some libs and encouraging some cons, but do I really need the potential headaches?
Thoughts?
Posted by: Average Guy at February 23, 2017 12:35 AM (LMcFk)
Posted by: Blanco Basura at February 23, 2017 12:36 AM (IcT7t)
Posted by: Tammy al-Thor at February 23, 2017 12:38 AM (QgJPg)
--
But... there needs to be something just as offensive for the men. Like umm... "male member size" measured in millimeters, and the code names are things like "Cigar" "Bratwurst" "Tuna Can" or "Chicken Finger," and they relate to "girth."
Posted by: shibumi, a rational single white female and kitteh servant at February 23, 2017 12:38 AM (J5mC3)
Terro? they make a lot of effective ant stuff. Works great inside, but tried their outside little built up things and it didn't work for me.
I spray brand x ant killer into the mounds and then I drown them. Repeatedly.
Posted by: gracepc at February 23, 2017 12:39 AM (OU4q6)
I agree, shibumi should probably rework it. Want me to send you the original Word file shib? ;-)
Posted by: qdpsteve at February 23, 2017 12:40 AM (u8kLQ)
No, you do not need to risk your business.
Other than that I'd say fuck it, but your livelihood is more important than trying to make lunatics see reason.
Posted by: Tammy al-Thor at February 23, 2017 12:41 AM (QgJPg)
Posted by: qdpsteve at February 23, 2017 12:42 AM (u8kLQ)
If ever there was a role written for SMFH, that would be it.
Posted by: Blanco Basura at February 23, 2017 12:36 AM (IcT7t)[
Seconded. Thirded.
Motion moved by Chair to voice vote.
Carried by Acclimation. No dissenters.
(said while watching assembled venue over the sights of M-249.)
The Motion is Approved! So ordered!
*swears in SMFH as Agent M-2*
Jim
Sunk New Dawn
Galveston, TX
Posted by: Jim at February 23, 2017 12:42 AM (v5iqM)
Posted by: qdpsteve at February 23, 2017 12:43 AM (u8kLQ)
Posted by: most deplorable Ghost of kari - certified sidebar at February 23, 2017 12:43 AM (Iy6JT)
That's it!
It worked outside for me, to the extent that it stopped them from coming inside. But I"m on 12 acres, so it's not like I can get shed of them completely.
Posted by: Tammy al-Thor at February 23, 2017 12:44 AM (QgJPg)
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=Np1Qo8CsW00
Posted by: Clank your chains at February 23, 2017 12:45 AM (M3DRt)
Anyway, I'm gonna have to give it more thought. I'm pretty much a quiet guy who values his privacy. There are no pseudonyms on Nextdoor and everyone on Nextdoor knows the physical address of everyone else within the same neigborhood. While I don't care if I loose friends by doing something like this (I really don't have any freinds in the 'hood, just barely acquaintances), I'd rather not make enemies. And I know some will view me as such just because I'm a conservative. Plus, I run my own 1-man business and I don't want to jeopardize that by becoming the target of some nutjob sjw. Conversely, I've no great desire to make friends, either.
So, I'm leaning towards "no". There could be great value in possibly enlightening some libs and encouraging some cons, but do I really need the potential headaches?
Thoughts?
--
My first and second thought: No.
They will know your name and know where you live. Not good.
You own a business. They can target you financially. So DEFINITELY no.
Plus... I've found that many liberals are very closed minded and do not want to hear other ideas, they just want others to reinforce their belief.
So you would be putting your home and your business in jeopardy on the chance that maybe one person might think about your ideas.
Too big of a risk IMHO.
Plus..if you don't want to socialize with the neighbors, let them be liberal nut jobs and go about your life. The less they know about you the better.
Posted by: shibumi, a rational single white female and kitteh servant at February 23, 2017 12:45 AM (J5mC3)
Posted by: Willy J. at February 23, 2017 12:46 AM (W6Ch1)
Posted by: Blanco Basura at February 23, 2017 12:47 AM (IcT7t)
Posted by: qdpsteve at February 23, 2017 12:47 AM (u8kLQ)
---
That's dumb. It is spelled motherfuckher.
Get it right dumbass.
Posted by: Joe Biden at February 23, 2017 12:47 AM (aZq03)
--
I agree, shibumi should probably rework it. Want me to send you the original Word file shib? ;-)
--
LOL. what happened here?
One minute I was lecturing Average Guy about his idiot neighbors and then BAM!
Posted by: shibumi, a rational single white female and kitteh servant at February 23, 2017 12:48 AM (J5mC3)
***
Liberals weren't reasoned into liberalism, you aren't going to reason them out of it.
They will however attempt to destroy you.
Posted by: 18-1 at February 23, 2017 12:51 AM (aZq03)
I will be saving and printing this thread tonight. Thanks again to everyone.
Posted by: qdpsteve at February 23, 2017 12:52 AM (u8kLQ)
https://youtu.be/KP7vi9oLk54
I am shocked, shocked that democrats and nevertrumpers are involved. Also Pewdepie was the victim of a "nazi" smear a few days prior to Milo. He is a youtube artist with the top number of subcribers. So there is an old media / new media element.
Posted by: BourbonChicken at February 23, 2017 12:52 AM (VdICR)
One minute I was lecturing Average Guy about his idiot neighbors and then BAM!
Posted by: shibumi, a rational single white female and kitteh servant at February 23, 2017 12:48 AM (J5mC3)
You forgot to feed me.
Instant karma.
Posted by: Shibumi's cat at February 23, 2017 12:53 AM (3hIZX)
Other than that I'd say fuck it, but your livelihood is more important than trying to make lunatics see reason.
Posted by: Tammy al-Thor at February 23, 2017 12:41 AM (QgJPg)
I work all over the Bay Area and I don't know if I have any clients (real estate agents) in my own neighborhood, so I'm not afraid for my business in that sense. But yeah, the risk of a crazy sjw going all jihad on me is of concern. Must be nice to be a lib and never have to worry that your livelihood is threatened by having wrongthoughts.
Posted by: Average Guy at February 23, 2017 12:54 AM (LMcFk)
I think you should do it, so you can finally see how much your neighbors actually hate you.
They don't want to understand you. They want to destroy you.
Good luck.
Posted by: Country Boy - just a humble, occasionally hotheaded poster at February 23, 2017 12:55 AM (Jcg9Q)
Posted by: most deplorable Ghost of kari - certified sidebar at February 23, 2017 12:43 AM (Iy6JT)
Maybe. He does have a doctorate in astrophysics, and they don't really just give those away. Plus, he gets paid to appear as the 'expert' all the time and doesn't have to do any of the icky stuff like research or teaching classes. Finally, he can order Chinese take-out and transcribe the fortune cookie to Twitter and thousands of people will wet themselves over a glimpse of pure enlightenment.
The question is if he goes to bed thinking "lol, how the hell did I ever land this sweet gig" or if he pulls the covers over his head and nods sagely and thinks, "like my army of idiot sycophants, I too believe that my own wet farts are the essence of wisdom".
It's probably the latter, though.
Posted by: hogmartin at February 23, 2017 12:55 AM (8nWyX)
SHIBUMI:
I'd like to thank everyone here for your confidence in my creative abilities; it's a great honor to be singled out by the Horde in this way. However, we should all give the biggest thanks to qdpsteve, who not only was brave enough to share his project with us, but gave us the opportunity to discuss things like "Jewsimos."
Posted by: shibumi, a rational single white female and kitteh servant at February 23, 2017 12:56 AM (J5mC3)
no politics.
unless, of course, you're advertising a Clinton coming to your house for a fundraiser.
then that's fine, until someone posts a snide remark on the thread, then they all go ape shit for bringing up politics.
True Story.
also, apparently *everything* is racist and must be flagged.
and heaven forfend if you comment mocking whichever anonymous coward flagged something.
yeah,. F trying to interact with the intellectual luddites.
never try to teach a pig to sing: it wastes your time and annoys the pig.
Posted by: redc1c4 at February 23, 2017 12:56 AM (mxmhe)
I always welcome feedback, and I know you all are smart and know what's funny. So IMHO it was just natural for me to want to show my script to you.
Posted by: qdpsteve at February 23, 2017 12:58 AM (u8kLQ)
Must be more inclusive...
Tit cocks
*thud*
Posted by: Anna Puma at February 22, 2017 11:57 PM (wg0zd)
Cock socks, Anna. Think RHCP.
Posted by: Miley, the Duchess at February 23, 2017 12:59 AM (tHwdc)
Posted by: shibumi, a rational single white female and kitteh servant at February 23, 2017 12:59 AM (J5mC3)
Posted by: Clank your chains at February 23, 2017 12:59 AM (M3DRt)
also, apparently *everything* is racist and must be flagged.
***
I hear Sears, err....Primark...is freaking out over a t-shirt that says "eeny meeny miney moe".
See apparently one version of the rhyme has a naughty word in it.
Oh, the word isn't on the shirt...and most people know the other version anyway.
But...RACISM!!!!!
Posted by: 18-1 at February 23, 2017 01:00 AM (aZq03)
Posted by: shibumi, a rational single white female and kitteh servant at February 23, 2017 01:01 AM (J5mC3)
Posted by: redc1c4 at February 23, 2017 01:01 AM (mxmhe)
Posted by: shibumi, a rational single white female and kitteh servant at February 23, 2017 12:45 AM (J5mC3)
Sadly, you're right. I do on rare occasion socialize w/some neighbors (none on Nextdoor that I know of), and just bite by lip whenever the lib BS comes up. Kind of tired of having to keep quiet. There was a short item on the local news a couple of weeks ago about conservatives in the East Bay having secret meetings, because they can't be public about their conservatism.
Posted by: Average Guy at February 23, 2017 01:01 AM (LMcFk)
---
this just in: scripts are the new etchings.... Film @ 11!
Posted by: redc1c4 at February 23, 2017 01:03 AM (mxmhe)
Posted by: Bertram Cabot, Jr. at February 23, 2017 01:03 AM (IqV8l)
Posted by: qdpsteve at February 23, 2017 01:04 AM (u8kLQ)
Posted by: eleven at February 23, 2017 01:06 AM (qUNWi)
G'night everyone.
Posted by: Blanco Basura at February 23, 2017 01:06 AM (IcT7t)
They were talking gun laws and full auto. I may have missed mention of Bump fire which is legal. But the legal shit this company is making is cool.
https://tacconusa.com/
Posted by: Willy J. at February 23, 2017 01:07 AM (W6Ch1)
It's well written, despite having not too much dialog. Peter Stormare and a few other great character actors get a few paragraphs. Laurence Fishburne and the Italian Django are in it. Ian McShane is back.
Justin Beiber, the other one that it isn't gay to look at on the internet, has a sympathetic moment. She has a fight that's underwhelming, because it doesn't seem like her character can hold her own against a guy who mostly kills at will.
The world-building continues. The inexorable iron rules of this world are still strange to the audience. They skew against John Wick, by the heavy-fisted greed of others, and there is pathos in that.
The dog lives.
Posted by: BourbonChicken at February 23, 2017 01:07 AM (VdICR)
Posted by: Clank your chains at February 23, 2017 01:08 AM (M3DRt)
Posted by: Willy J. at February 23, 2017 12:46 AM (W6Ch1)
Yeah, in college we regularly used large amounts of chemicals that I don't think students are allowed to use today.
My first job was as the chemist /chemical engineer in an aerospace plating plant. It was nasty. Cyanide is absolutely essential in certain types of plating and metallurgy but I bet it's a lot harder to obtain these days, not to mention the paperwork requirements.
I sometimes think and am a bit shocked at how casually I handled things like benzene and potassium cyanide back in the day.
Posted by: Michael the TEXIT at February 23, 2017 01:10 AM (nvMvs)
Posted by: eleven at February 23, 2017 01:13 AM (qUNWi)
Understated, yet a force of digital nature.
Not yet profound, but with good writing?
Jim
Sunk New Dawn
Galveston, TX
Posted by: Jim at February 23, 2017 01:14 AM (v5iqM)
---
i know my life would be better if i had a decent script writer who liked the character.
Posted by: redc1c4 at February 23, 2017 01:17 AM (mxmhe)
Posted by: Cicero (@cicero) at February 23, 2017 01:18 AM (uSlc8)
They will however attempt to destroy you.
***
Not necessarily true. I was reasoned out of liberalism, though I might be a rare exception.
For me, encountering calm, polite, reasonable conservatives forced me into a mode of cognitive dissonance: I'd always been told that conservatives were unhinged, frothing-at-the-mouth nutjobs, and that liberals were the soul of cool, objective reason.
The problem was that I knew plenty of liberals who were frothing-at-the-mouth nutjobs. I knew others who were calm and reasonable, but the existence of the nutjobs tended to undercut the authority of the folks who insisted that liberalism was all about Science and Reason.
Then I encountered conservatives who were nothing like the caricatures I'd been fed. That in itself caused me to question a lot of things, because I'd been instructed, a priori, that such people could not exist. Finding that they did further damaged the authority of the liberals I looked up to.
And when I listened to these calm, reasonable, intelligent conservatives -- holy shit, they actually made a lot more sense than the calm, reasonable, intelligent liberals.
So you never know. You might reach somebody.
Posted by: Ex-liberal at February 23, 2017 01:20 AM (XLZh6)
Posted by: eleven at February 23, 2017 01:20 AM (qUNWi)
Posted by: Clank your chains at February 23, 2017 01:23 AM (M3DRt)
Posted by: redc1c4 at February 23, 2017 01:23 AM (mxmhe)
Posted by: redc1c4 at February 23, 2017 01:24 AM (mxmhe)
I know I was semi nonchalant with cyanide back in the day. But since nobody cared what I did with chemicals I payed some attention to the MSDS. If now they make oxalic as scary as cyanide and fuming nitric how are they gonna learn the steps to save themselves from exposure? If it's all Nazi why learn Hydrofluoric exposure can be treated with calcium?
Posted by: Willy J. at February 23, 2017 01:25 AM (W6Ch1)
no shit.
Posted by: redc1c4 at February 23, 2017 01:26 AM (mxmhe)
They want to be shitty and condescending to people, for apolitical reasons, and they found the process that allows it. If there is a way to convert them
Posted by: BourbonChicken at February 23, 2017 01:29 AM (VdICR)
Posted by: Clank your chains at February 23, 2017 01:29 AM (M3DRt)
also, apparently *everything* is racist and must be flagged.
***
I hear Sears, err....Primark...is freaking out over a t-shirt that says "eeny meeny miney moe".
See apparently one version of the rhyme has a naughty word in it.
Oh, the word isn't on the shirt...and most people know the other version anyway.
But...RACISM!!!!!
Posted by: 18-1 at February 23, 2017 01:00 AM (aZq03)
Its a Walking Dead shirt and its because Negan used it to choose he was going to brain first with Lucille. Hey guess which version Negan used. Guess which version everyone uses? Its the same bullshit they did with Clarkson on Top Gear when he used the rhyme.
Posted by: buzzion at February 23, 2017 01:31 AM (cAnNx)
Posted by: rhomboid at February 23, 2017 01:31 AM (QDnY+)
Posted by: redc1c4 at February 23, 2017 01:33 AM (mxmhe)
Good. What kind did you use outside? I used these little hut like things and that didn't work to stop them from marching in. And I they don't exactly have to scale a wall or walk 40 acres to get into my first floor condo. But the little floater type things work great inside. I put them on ledges, in closets etc.
Posted by: gracepc at February 23, 2017 01:33 AM (OU4q6)
It would seem that a state Representative from Rhode Island fully believes, when it comes to who can serve as a judge, that 'once you go Black, you never go back'. Well, not just Black, but any 'person of color', according to H5302 that was introduced to the 2017 legislative session.
More: http://politicalhat.com/?p=13060
Posted by: The Political Hat at February 23, 2017 01:33 AM (vBeA5)
Posted by: Alberta Oil Peon at February 23, 2017 01:35 AM (WDdjT)
I'm mildly curious about actual neighborhood stuff.
I'm desperate not to know how ignorant, misguided, zealous, or deranged the 'hood is "politically". Assuming it is at least 50% moonbats, mostly of the passive, lazy, very HDV (high-disinformation voter) variety. Not activist types.
One reason (though hardly the only one) I've never even considered any "social media". Unfortunately I've already lost respect for many people I know, even without seeing what infantile NPR-level crap they post on their FB pages etc.
Posted by: rhomboid at February 23, 2017 01:35 AM (QDnY+)
I was more liberal when I was young. But my dad yelling at the TV news "you god damm commies". So my liberalism was semi in check from having an awesome Dad. Yeah they almost had me on free love but I didn't get any so conservative is where I am
Posted by: Willy J. at February 23, 2017 01:38 AM (W6Ch1)
Posted by: Clank your chains at February 23, 2017 01:39 AM (M3DRt)
They will however attempt to destroy you.
***
Not necessarily true. I was reasoned out of liberalism, though I might be a rare exception.
Posted by: Ex-liberal at February 23, 2017 01:20 AM (XLZh6)
I'm going with rare exception. Once you are of the body, you're not getting out alive. I knew way too many libs in my time that taught me the best thing is to shit can them and never let them in to start with.
I had nothing in common with them. I talk guitars, I get the fucking tree hugger argument for the wood that gets used. I talk cars, I get the fucking gas guzzler tree hugger shit. I talk guns, yeah lookout. History? yeah same shit.
No common ground, zip, nadda. They don't want to listen either. They are of the body. You kill it with fire, or walk away.
Posted by: Berserker- Dragonheads Division at February 23, 2017 01:41 AM (aMlLZ)
I am house wood and none of these fuckers care about me.
Posted by: Pine Tree at February 23, 2017 01:46 AM (W6Ch1)
Posted by: qdpsteve at February 23, 2017 01:46 AM (u8kLQ)
Guess we're gonna have to have a black target match then, eh?
You might wanna stock up on your favorite .22 LR ammo, though.
But enough aboot that. /canuck
Jim
Sunk New Dawn
Galveston, TX
Posted by: Jim at February 23, 2017 01:46 AM (v5iqM)
Posted by: Hillary! at February 23, 2017 01:49 AM (bc2Lc)
He'd already hit the big zero during the first? second? SCOAMF election when he said something about most educated people live in cities, and cities vote Democrat. I tweeted in reply, "Correlation is not causation", because a lot of dumb as shit scientists can seem to remember simple science.
If you're ever on Jeopardy! and say, "I'll take Tools for $2000, Alex", and it's also a Daily Double, expect Neil deAsse Tyson's smug face to pop up.
Posted by: atomicplaygirl (Gab: atomicplaygirl) at February 23, 2017 01:53 AM (Gim9y)
Posted by: Hillary! at February 23, 2017 01:49 AM (bc2Lc)
Thread cyanide.
Posted by: Pine Tree at February 23, 2017 01:54 AM (W6Ch1)
dormant for a period of time? I presume you leave the bucket in place
overnight, or longer?
Posted by: Alberta Oil Peon
Yes, they have to breathe O2, because the CO2 is heavier it goes to the bottom of the tunnel system and displaces all the O2. The bucket is to concentrate the CO2 and keep it from dissipating into the atmosphere. The brick is to keep the bucket from getting knocked over.
Sorry I was slow to reply but I had to go to work and do a few tasks. Gotta earn my keep and all that jazz.
Posted by: Gmac- Deplorable Conservative at February 23, 2017 01:56 AM (4pjhs)
Posted by: Willy J. at February 23, 2017 02:00 AM (W6Ch1)
/
lol... not sure exactly how much of that we have, but i'll bet it's into five digit territory...
how about E silhouettes at 50 meters, with bonus points for larger caliber long guns?
;-)
Posted by: redc1c4 at February 23, 2017 02:00 AM (mxmhe)
I joined Next Door and it is good and bad.
It has been an interesting way to agitate. I live outside of Seattle in Bellevue, and the City Council has been really out of touch. We're getting overdeveloped, taxes are up, they're letting the local energy company tear down trees as old as the city to put in power lines we don't need, they say they are moving a low barrier shelter from downtown near the police to a rural neighbourhood next to a community college, etc.
So I have been stirring the pot. When I want to, I am a good speaker and writer, (several awards for extemporaneous speaking during HS), and I have been raising things, posting, encouraging, asking questions. I periodically post something snarky, and I often get a bunch of Thank Yous.
For example, the city posted a little video about, 'How 2016 was a great year for Bellevue'. I replied that taxes was very high, development was on the rise, and the city seemed to think that high density population equals a better quality of life, which most of us disagree with. 'So I guess it would depend on what your definition of 'great year' is.' I got a number of likes for that.
So I'd say if you have the time, (some people are stupid and whiny, like when it snows and a poster admits to using a propane heater in the house), it can be effective. No one knows my politics, and I am just escalating and grabbing onto issues that a lot of people are concerned about.
Posted by: atomicplaygirl (Gab: atomicplaygirl) at February 23, 2017 02:03 AM (Gim9y)
Posted by: redc1c4 at February 23, 2017 02:04 AM (mxmhe)
the horror amongst our neighbors, that there is anyone in their area that is guilty of wrongthink is delicious.
Posted by: redc1c4 at February 23, 2017 02:07 AM (mxmhe)
WTF?
So in combat, it either surrenders immediately, or never?
(tell me this one isn't *also* from AO Sword, where I have yet to visit)
Posted by: rhomboid at February 23, 2017 02:07 AM (QDnY+)
Posted by: atomicplaygirl (Gab: atomicplaygirl) at February 23, 2017 02:13 AM (Gim9y)
we haven't been there since late last year: this was one of two rifles, amongst many, in the racks at Oaktree Gun Club in Saugus/Santa Clarita, just off the 5, 1st exit north of the 14.
1 was obviously an Arisaka, of which i have two: one de-Imperialized (no crest) and one with the crest and it's bayonet, which has bullet strikes on it. (war trophy, but no story)
this one looked kinda but not, so i asked, and they said the Italians made them for the Japanese during the war and smuggled them there in U-boats (not true).
apparently, when the China war heated up in 38, the IJA was not inclined to give the IJN all the rifles they felt they needed, as the IJA controlled the arsenals, so the squids went to the Italians for a supply.
Posted by: redc1c4 at February 23, 2017 02:27 AM (mxmhe)
so far, the only bummer, besides not having any ammo for it, or time, etc, to take it to the range, is that the front sight appears to have a light coating of rust on it...
first pass at the local expert says "too complicated to do anything", but a second look while i was relatively s*ber says it is definitely removable, and may actually disassemble. just not sure i want to do that, if it's hand fitted.
have you ever seen a TM for one of these?
i'm thinking an e-mail/letter to the Swedish Mil Attache might be in order.
speaking of which, i still need to send one to the Israeli Mil Attache regarding my drilled and tapped IMI K98 (FN manufacture, post war)
yeah, i have all the weird toys... why do you ask?
Posted by: redc1c4 at February 23, 2017 02:34 AM (mxmhe)
Posted by: Tammy al-Thor at February 23, 2017 12:14 AM (QgJPg)
Um...this just left me breathless.
Posted by: Miley, the Duchess at February 23, 2017 02:35 AM (tHwdc)
if there had been an IMI at the time, they wouldn't have needed to contract with FN.
#DOH!
Posted by: redc1c4 at February 23, 2017 02:36 AM (mxmhe)
Posted by: The Political Hat at February 23, 2017 02:37 AM (vBeA5)
mob attack a cop in his home, then bitch when he uses deadly force.
thugs gotta thug.
Posted by: redc1c4 at February 23, 2017 02:43 AM (mxmhe)
Posted by: viking at February 23, 2017 02:47 AM (6y/kW)
Posted by: redc1c4 at February 23, 2017 02:49 AM (mxmhe)
i'd vote for "no true bill" on him, and retroactive abortions for the mob.
Posted by: redc1c4 at February 23, 2017 02:51 AM (mxmhe)
Was wanting to ask a lot earlier but the thread got devoted to the puppet sitcom script. Unsurprisingly though, I couldn't let it go.
Posted by: viking at February 23, 2017 02:52 AM (6y/kW)
Infuriating because all this 'mobbing' was preventable and now the reeling of it all back in is going to be a lot rougher than it otherwise would've been in the first place.
Posted by: viking at February 23, 2017 03:06 AM (6y/kW)
Posted by: Skip at February 23, 2017 03:19 AM (HDU3V)
Posted by: redc1c4 at February 23, 2017 03:20 AM (mxmhe)
---
barely after midnight, and they might still be rioting down on OC....
welcome to #Failifornia!
Posted by: redc1c4 at February 23, 2017 03:23 AM (mxmhe)
Good morning horde
Posted by: Skip at February 23, 2017 03:32 AM (HDU3V)
---
that just means i should prolly go to bed here sometime soon...
or have another drink.
decisions, decisions...
Posted by: redc1c4 at February 23, 2017 03:43 AM (mxmhe)
Posted by: Skip at February 23, 2017 03:48 AM (HDU3V)
598 Posted by: rhomboid at February 23, 2017 01:35 AM (QDnY+)
I joined Next Door and it is good and bad.
It has been an interesting way to agitate. I live outside of Seattle in Bellevue, and the City Council has been really out of touch. We're getting overdeveloped, taxes are up, they're letting the local energy company tear down trees as old as the city to put in power lines we don't need, they say they are moving a low barrier shelter from downtown near the police to a rural neighbourhood next to a community college, etc.
So I have been stirring the pot. When I want to, I am a good speaker and writer, (several awards for extemporaneous speaking during HS), and I have been raising things, posting, encouraging, asking questions. I periodically post something snarky, and I often get a bunch of Thank Yous.
For example, the city posted a little video about, 'How 2016 was a great year for Bellevue'. I replied that taxes was very high, development was on the rise, and the city seemed to think that high density population equals a better quality of life, which most of us disagree with. 'So I guess it would depend on what your definition of 'great year' is.' I got a number of likes for that.
So I'd say if you have the time, (some people are stupid and whiny, like when it snows and a poster admits to using a propane heater in the house), it can be effective. No one knows my politics, and I am just escalating and grabbing onto issues that a lot of people are concerned about.
Posted by: atomicplaygirl (Gab: atomicplaygirl) at February 23, 2017 02:03 AM (Gim9y)
Bellevue. Use to be a wide place on 405. Now it is metro with rich developers tag teaming with politicians to screw the little people. My sympathies, atomicplaygirl.
BTW, been laughing myself silly with the Light Rail siting kerfuffle on the Eastside.
Posted by: Woodinville has a long mustache at February 23, 2017 03:59 AM (FtrY1)
Me as press secretary: Do you know what else is cancer? *stares*
White House Reporter: ...
Me as press secretary: *drinks from 44 oz big gulp*
White House Reporter: ...
Me as press secretary: *snorkle sounds*
White House Reporter: ?What?
Me as press secretary: I don't know, I'm asking you.
Posted by: BourbonChicken at February 23, 2017 04:20 AM (VdICR)
Posted by: redc1c4 at February 23, 2017 01:17 AM (mxmhe)
If you'd like to be my late husband, I've got 156,000 words that give you a fabulous 10 months in 1974-75.
Posted by: Miley, the Duchess at February 23, 2017 04:29 AM (tHwdc)
Posted by: hogmartin at February 23, 2017 12:55 AM (8nWyX
No, you have to fail at meteorological engineering, not quite make the combined sciences engineering degree, then settle for that.
Posted by: somejoe at February 23, 2017 04:29 AM (bEHhv)
Posted by: Ex-liberal at February 23, 2017 01:20 AM (XLZh6)
You're lucky. I had to haul myself out of the swamp.
Posted by: Miley, the Duchess at February 23, 2017 04:35 AM (tHwdc)
Posted by: teej at February 23, 2017 04:35 AM (mzTVj)
Posted by: Tim in Illinois at February 23, 2017 05:12 AM (d76uN)
This is the same damned letter you sent us when Reagan, Bush I, Bush IIa and Bush IIb won! Please come up with something different.
Although to your credit at least this time you managed to change Reagan to Trump. It was kind of embarrassing last couple times you sent it out without even getting the president right.
Sincerely,
Your Republican Friends
Posted by: Ripley at February 23, 2017 05:21 AM (1BQGO)
Posted by: Neil DeGrasse Tyson at February 23, 2017 05:32 AM (g6yUI)
We do our part, but to no avail. We regularly mention Crocodile Dundee.
Posted by: BourbonChicken at February 23, 2017 05:39 AM (VdICR)
They should send me. I will warn them how racist this planet is.
Posted by: Neil DeGrasse Tyson at February 23, 2017 05:43 AM (g6yUI)
Posted by: Dave at Buffalo Roam at February 23, 2017 05:46 AM (LtuZ9)
Yes, but are they really planets or just large rocks? We, as intelligent creatures, should not presume to impose our biases on a universe that is not even aware of our existence.
*lemmings gasp in awe and go into a re-tweet frenzy
Posted by: Neil deGrasse Tyson at February 23, 2017 06:06 AM (1BQGO)
If AoS readership existed around the globe, the overnight thread would
not experience periods of low activity, because it's always day
somewhere.
Posted by: Neil DeGrasse Tyson at February 23, 2017 05:32 AM (g6yUI)
The Night is Right.
Posted by: Nightstalkers at February 23, 2017 06:11 AM (tHwdc)
Posted by: Colin at February 23, 2017 06:15 AM (ec2s9)
Neon would be my first choice all over the building.
Posted by: Colin at February 23, 2017 06:18 AM (ec2s9)
I would like to support the CPD. I would. If they hold true to the national figure of 90-95% of them voting for the exact people that are now punishing them for doing their job, I think they are getting just exactly what they voted for.
Posted by: Tim in Illinois at February 23, 2017 06:19 AM (d76uN)
not experience periods of low activity, because it's always day
somewhere.
LOLWUT?
Posted by: THE Pacific Ocean at February 23, 2017 06:19 AM (jw2Xw)
Posted by: Village Idiot's Apprentice at February 23, 2017 06:19 AM (J+eG2)
Let's smile & be happy & strike fear in the hearts of killjoy leftists everywhere.
Posted by: NaCly Dog at February 23, 2017 06:20 AM (u82oZ)
Posted by: Tim in Illinois at February 23, 2017 06:20 AM (d76uN)
Posted by: test at February 23, 2017 06:21 AM (vRcUp)
I wonder if any of the seven have a mosque on them?
Or a non-binary gender-fluid pan flutist?
Posted by: Village Idiot's Apprentice at February 23, 2017 06:21 AM (J+eG2)
Posted by: NaCly Dog at February 23, 2017 06:21 AM (u82oZ)
Posted by: Tim in Illinois at February 23, 2017 06:22 AM (d76uN)
Or I whup you upside the ass
Like my name was Mike Tyson
I trample you like a bison.
Posted by: Neil DeGrasse Tyson at February 23, 2017 06:23 AM (vRcUp)
Posted by: fluffy at February 23, 2017 06:24 AM (jw2Xw)
I hate how far we have fallen from the days of scientific progress.
Posted by: NaCly Dog at February 23, 2017 06:27 AM (u82oZ)
Posted by: Tim in Illinois at February 23, 2017 06:34 AM (d76uN)
https://c1.staticflickr.com/3/2930/14170915553_ef8b55e634_b.jpg
Posted by: BignJames at February 23, 2017 06:35 AM (x9c8r)
Posted by: mustbequantum at February 23, 2017 06:36 AM (MIKMs)
Sounds much better in the original Klingon.
Posted by: ScoggDog at February 23, 2017 06:36 AM (fiGNd)
Posted by: Nevergiveup at February 23, 2017 06:36 AM (KlI/a)
Posted by: AltonJackson at February 23, 2017 06:38 AM (KCxzN)
Posted by: Tim in Illinois
Saw an article on the Chicago Tribune website a week ago: "Girl dies in Chicago, but saves 8 other lives". The 11 year old was collateral damage in a drive by, but her organs were donated to 8 people. Organ donation is great, don't get me wrong, but I thought it was a bit grotesque how they were trying to put a "positive spin" on it.
Posted by: Steve and Cold Bear at February 23, 2017 06:41 AM (vRcUp)
Posted by: Nevergiveup at February 23, 2017 06:41 AM (KlI/a)
Posted by: Greek Fire Ants at February 23, 2017 06:41 AM (uB+td)
Posted by: KWDreaming at February 23, 2017 06:42 AM (AkcYt)
Posted by: NaCly Dog at February 23, 2017 06:43 AM (u82oZ)
Posted by: NaCly Dog at February 23, 2017 06:43 AM (u82oZ)
No it was great. 6 cases where on the docket: 1 postponed, 4 settled, and only 1 needed a jury. Those not chosen for that one, and I was not, were dismissed by 11:30 AM.
Posted by: Nevergiveup at February 23, 2017 06:45 AM (KlI/a)
Posted by: Steve and Cold Bear at February 23, 2017 06:45 AM (vRcUp)
Und dann die deutsche. Grammatik nimmt "die", also englische Grammatik lernen.
Verzeihung. Ich bin ein Arsch.
Posted by: Bandersnatch, gentleman cad at February 23, 2017 06:46 AM (gIRsn)
Posted by: Steve and Cold Bear at February 23, 2017 06:41 AM (vRcUp)
You can't put a positive on the murder of an 11 year old Girl. You just can't. The trib has sucked BOD's for years and will continue to do so until it closes up shop.
Posted by: Tim in Illinois at February 23, 2017 06:47 AM (d76uN)
Posted by: Greek Fire Ants
Don't pick grapes in South Carolina while wearing flip flops. I've heard though that they can be killed with grits (seriously).
Posted by: Steve and Cold Bear at February 23, 2017 06:48 AM (vRcUp)
Warum bist du ein Arsch, mien Herr?
Posted by: Tim in Illinois at February 23, 2017 06:49 AM (d76uN)
Weil ich auf Genauigkeit in der deutschen Sprache bestehe.
So 'was tut ein hoefflicher Mensch nicht.
Posted by: Bandersnatch, gentleman cad at February 23, 2017 06:51 AM (gIRsn)
Posted by: Tim in Illinois at February 23, 2017 06:52 AM (d76uN)
I hate how far we have fallen from the days of scientific progress.
Posted by: NaCly Dog at February 23, 2017 06:27 AM (u82oZ)
It happened when science went from being a search for truth, to a label that people wore to try to flatter themselves.
I blame the atheists, always acting like their view was more scientific, which created the whole science-as-virtue-signaling craze.
Posted by: Cato the Rebel Without a Party at February 23, 2017 06:54 AM (J+mig)
Posted by: Angela Merkel at February 23, 2017 06:55 AM (vRcUp)
Posted by: Tim in Illinois at February 23, 2017 06:57 AM (d76uN)
Something wrong with that doggie with the bone though
Might be a virus he picked up at anonymous chat rooms
Posted by: @votermom @vm at February 23, 2017 06:58 AM (Om16U)
Posted by: Bandersnatch, gentleman cad at February 23, 2017 07:00 AM (gIRsn)
Posted by: saf at February 23, 2017 09:51 AM (+zN6H)
Posted by: justasheep at February 23, 2017 11:57 AM (BIY1n)
I believe the Sudetenland belongs to me... and well all of Czechoslovakia, Poland, Netherlands, Belgium, France, and any part of Eastern Europe that Stalin won't fight me over, scratch that all of Eastern Europe and North Africa. @neiltyson @pax4rtimeneville
Posted by: justasheep at February 23, 2017 12:10 PM (BIY1n)
Probably too late, but are you here in the PacNW too?
Posted by: atomicplaygirl (Gab: atomicplaygirl) at February 23, 2017 01:49 PM (Gim9y)
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Real Clear Politics
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George Bush Slices Don Rumsfeld Like an F*ckin' Hammer
Democratic Forays into Erotica
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Other Bad Things About the Jews, According to the Koran
Signs That David Letterman Just Doesn't Care Anymore
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Other Judgments Dick Clarke Made About Condi Rice Based on Her Appearance
Collective Names for Groups of People
John Kerry's Other Vietnam Super-Pets
Cool Things About the XM8 Assault Rifle
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Changes to Make Christianity More "Inclusive"
Secret John Kerry Senatorial Accomplishments
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Iraqi Prisoner Claims He Was Raped... By Woman
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John Kerry's "Plan" Causes Surrender of Moqtada al-Sadr's Militia
World Muslim Leaders Apologize for Nick Berg's Beheading
Michael Moore Goes on Lunchtime Manhattan Death-Spree
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Liberal Economists Rue a "New Decade of Greed"
Artificial Insouciance: Maureen Dowd's Word Processor Revolts Against Her Numbing Imbecility
Intelligence Officials Eye Blogs for Tips
They Done Found Us Out, Cletus: Intrepid Internet Detective Figures Out Our Master Plan
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Leather-Clad Biker Freaks Terrorize Australian Town
When Clinton Was President, Torture Was Cool
What Wonkette Means When She Explains What Tina Brown Means
Wonkette's Stand-Up Act
Wankette HQ Gay-Rumors Du Jour
Here's What's Bugging Me: Goose and Slider
My Own Micah Wright Style Confession of Dishonesty
Outraged "Conservatives" React to the FMA
An On-Line Impression of Dennis Miller Having Sex with a Kodiak Bear
The Story the Rightwing Media Refuses to Report!
Our Lunch with David "Glengarry Glen Ross" Mamet
The House of Love: Paul Krugman
A Michael Moore Mystery (TM)
The Dowd-O-Matic!
Liberal Consistency and Other Myths
Kepler's Laws of Liberal Media Bias
John Kerry-- The Splunge! Candidate
"Divisive" Politics & "Attacks on Patriotism" (very long)
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