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The Legend of Donald Trump (MJ)

1. His apartment in Manhattan is decorated in solid platinum but he had it coated in gold to appear humble.

2. He patented the words 'tremendous', 'beautiful', and 'disaster' just so he could make a little pocket change while giving speeches.

3. Trump tower was originally developed as the tester for Trump Brand Condoms™ but then he discovered the market size was one.

4. He has exactly four items hanging in his closet: blue suit, red tie, white shirt, and Joe Biden's ridiculous fucking grin.

5. On November 9th he sent a cheap plastic button to Russia that said, 'Thanks Bitch.' In English.

6. When he started using the nickname Little Marco, Rubio shrunk an inch.

7. Chuck Norris is afraid of Trump's shadow.

8. He doesn't give a rat's ass which bathroom Lindsey Graham uses.

9. He whispered to Meghan McCain that he was going to grab her by the pussy, then shook her father's hand.

10. He organized a photo shoot with a bald eagle just so it could know what it was like to be so close to a symbol of pure freedom.

Add your silliness in the comments...

b0b2b5ae0bae4a852bb221c230b123b5.jpg

Posted by: Open Blogger at 08:01 PM




Comments

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1 Yuge!

Posted by: Flyboy at February 20, 2017 06:58 PM (bUjWk)

2 ń

Posted by: Walter Freeman at February 20, 2017 07:12 PM (3Vlkn)

3 Is this really here this time???

Posted by: Chi-Town Jerry at February 20, 2017 08:17 PM (UpGcq)

4 Cuz I commented on this earlier and it went kafloooey!

Posted by: Chi-Town Jerry at February 20, 2017 08:17 PM (UpGcq)

5 Ok, I gotta know....is Michael Jordan a cob?

Posted by: Tami at February 20, 2017 08:18 PM (Enq6K)

6 There's still nothing like the Reagan riding a velociraptor..

Posted by: Chi-Town Jerry at February 20, 2017 08:18 PM (UpGcq)

7 Trump's original title for Art of the Deal was Don't Fuck With Me Because You're Going To Lose. He killed the editor that changed it.

Posted by: Sebastian Melmoth at February 20, 2017 08:19 PM (IDPbH)

8 Keith Olbermann is a twat.

Posted by: mallfly of the Jungle at February 20, 2017 08:22 PM (b7fwp)

9 When emotional, Donald Trump has been known to shed tears in the shape of tiny diamond encrusted bald eagles.

Posted by: Han Yolo at February 20, 2017 08:23 PM (NcVHh)

10 Trump did hire Russian prostitutes. Strictly to practice dealing with Democrats .

Posted by: Sebastian Melmoth at February 20, 2017 08:24 PM (IDPbH)

11 in honor of Trump, the Mexican national football championship will be called the Taco Bowl.

Posted by: mallfly of the Jungle at February 20, 2017 08:25 PM (b7fwp)

12 is everyone on strike?

Posted by: mallfly of the Jungle at February 20, 2017 08:26 PM (b7fwp)

13 I know this is more apropos of the last thread *I had to run Mrs. Old Blue somewhere* but it appears that rioting has broken out in Sweden. The usual peaceful religion suspects.

And Nanzi Pelousi checks under her bed every night to make sure the PDT isn't under there. Prolly the closet too.

Posted by: Old Blue release the KrakenTrump at February 20, 2017 08:27 PM (9iR5/)

14 Bbbut he said there a terrorist attack in Sweden.

posted by: idiot media everywhere

Posted by: Farmer at February 20, 2017 08:28 PM (o/90i)

15 re 13: she wishes he were there, botox ain't free.

Posted by: mallfly of the Jungle at February 20, 2017 08:28 PM (b7fwp)

16 rioting has broken out in Sweden. The usual peaceful religion suspects

Dey ver goot boyz.

Posted by: Their Swedish Moms at February 20, 2017 08:29 PM (Tyii7)

17 Trump could have prevented the Holocaust by saying "cut it out"

Posted by: mallfly of the Jungle at February 20, 2017 08:29 PM (b7fwp)

18 The older he gets, the hotter his wives get

Posted by: Iblis at February 20, 2017 08:29 PM (3gBCr)

19 OregonMuse needs to change his (or is it her?) handle to Bambi ...

Posted by: ShainS at February 20, 2017 08:30 PM (mt8X9)

20 Trump was going to combine the USFL with the Miss Universe Pageant and call it America , Fuck Yeah.

Posted by: Sebastian Melmoth at February 20, 2017 08:31 PM (IDPbH)

21 Trumps pussy grabbing once got so outta hand a tiger in Tasmania went extinct.

Also the reason you no longer see a real lion on the MGM logo.

Posted by: Han Yolo at February 20, 2017 08:31 PM (NcVHh)

22 From now on, for all Presidential Press conferences "Hail to the Chief" will be replaced with "Now You're Messin' With a Son of a Bitch". Also, the press will be required to address PDT as "Daddy".

Posted by: Bilwis, Devourer of Gluten Free Souls at February 20, 2017 08:32 PM (a3sfz)

23 OregonMuse needs to change his (or is it her?) handle to Bambi ...


Posted by: ShainS at February 20, 2017 08:30 PM (mt8X9)

Her. Make sure to call her Miss OregonMuse. She likes it a lot.

Posted by: runner at February 20, 2017 08:32 PM (c6/9Q)

24 HR McMaster. I might get tired of all the winning.

Posted by: LTC O at February 20, 2017 08:32 PM (ZkztE)

25 The Trump family crest includes Godzilla fucking the Space Shuttle, rampant

Posted by: josephistan at February 20, 2017 08:33 PM (ANIFC)

26 Old NYC joke about Trump:

Donald is in the lobby of Trump Tower, getting into the elevator, when a hot Hungarian blond jumps in with him.

Door closes and they're alone. The blond says: I'm going to give you the greatest blow job ever.

Trump thinks for a beat and replies: OK, what's in it for me?

Posted by: Ignoramus at February 20, 2017 08:33 PM (bQxkN)

27 11. Donald Trump kills men by the hundreds. And if HE were there, he'd consume the Islamofascists with fireballs from his eyes, and bolts of lightning from his arse.

Posted by: ShainS at February 20, 2017 08:33 PM (mt8X9)

28 WHO.IS.MJ?


Imma cut a bitch if I don't get an answer.

Posted by: Tami at February 20, 2017 08:33 PM (Enq6K)

29 re 24: the name 'McMaster' reminds me of the name of a guy who did bondage porn years ago.

Posted by: mallfly of the Jungle at February 20, 2017 08:34 PM (b7fwp)

30 19. Meh. When I was growing up, muse was in general taken to indicate female. Goddesses, ya know.

Posted by: EdmundBurkesShade at February 20, 2017 08:34 PM (ptQdD)

31 Trump was the Sixth Beatle

Posted by: josephistan at February 20, 2017 08:34 PM (ANIFC)

32 Trump put in an offer to change the Hollywood sign to TRUMP. Would only charge the city half of his going price.

Posted by: Sebastian Melmoth at February 20, 2017 08:35 PM (IDPbH)

33 Superman wears Donald Trump underwear.

Posted by: Jaqen H'ghar at February 20, 2017 08:35 PM (5fSr7)

34 young Donald Trump was the inpiration for "Jumpin Jack Flash"

Posted by: mallfly of the Jungle at February 20, 2017 08:36 PM (b7fwp)

35 the name 'McMaster'...

We demand that this name be changed.

Posted by: Concerned Students of Silliman Hall at February 20, 2017 08:36 PM (OVUYQ)

36 I need a picture of Trump riding a RINO farting lightening bolts

Posted by: Regular joe at February 20, 2017 08:36 PM (ROIz5)

37 Is this new?

Posted by: eleven at February 20, 2017 08:36 PM (qUNWi)

38 General Mattis's rug peed itself when PTD visited.

Posted by: Mike Hammer, etc., etc. at February 20, 2017 08:37 PM (/ZEVC)

39 As has been said, I wasn't a fan of Trump at the beginning, but I'll be damned if the hysterical reaction to him isn't making me a super-fan.

Posted by: RoyalOil at February 20, 2017 08:37 PM (AmMfi)

40 Trump always bowls a perfect 300 score. One look from him and the pins all fall down.

Posted by: Old Blue release the KrakenTrump at February 20, 2017 08:37 PM (9iR5/)

41 Donald Trump once told an Aristocrats joke that made Bob Saget cry.

Posted by: Han Yolo at February 20, 2017 08:37 PM (NcVHh)

42 11. At birth, President Trump was circumcised and his dick actually grew two inches.

Posted by: Hairyback Guy at February 20, 2017 08:37 PM (5VlCp)

43 Sharks have a week to celebrate him.

Posted by: josephistan at February 20, 2017 08:37 PM (ANIFC)

44 WHO.IS.MJ?

Imma cut a bitch if I don't get an answer.
Posted by: Tami

Mary Jane.

Posted by: Cob Loggers Union at February 20, 2017 08:38 PM (PjWy4)

45 George Patton (believer in reincarnation) dies in 1945. Donald Trump is born in 1946.

Coincidence? I think not!

Posted by: Kodos the Executioner at February 20, 2017 08:38 PM (J8/9G)

46 9. He whispered to Meghan McCain that he was going to grab her by the pussy, then shook her father's hand.

Okay, I don't care who you are, that's funny.

Posted by: Grump928(C) at February 20, 2017 08:38 PM (LTHVh)

47 Donald Trump once told an Aristocrats joke that made Bob Saget cry.

I never got that joke, but this is plausible.

Posted by: eleven at February 20, 2017 08:38 PM (qUNWi)

48 Rachael Maddow fantasizes about watching Trump grab Mika's pussy

Posted by: buzzsaw90 at February 20, 2017 08:38 PM (PqqkK)

49 Donald Trump plays Monopoly with real properties.

Posted by: Jaqen H'ghar at February 20, 2017 08:38 PM (5fSr7)

50 the name 'McMaster' reminds me of the name of a guy who did bondage porn years ago.

Interesting. I always think McMaster-Carr, which says something about me, too.

Posted by: t-bird at February 20, 2017 08:38 PM (eeTCA)

51 Trump doesn't need to read any books. He just looks at one and it gives up all its information.

Posted by: Old Blue release the KrakenTrump at February 20, 2017 08:39 PM (9iR5/)

52 The consistency of Trump's hair is a state secret.

Posted by: logprof at February 20, 2017 08:39 PM (GsAUU)

53 31 Trump was the Sixth Beatle

Posted by: josephistan at February 20, 2017 08:34 PM (ANIFC)

=======================

Who is generally considered the Fifth Beatle -- is it Yoko, George Martin, Neil Aspinall, or another?

Posted by: ShainS at February 20, 2017 08:39 PM (mt8X9)

54 Three-letter-network journalists have all requested asbestos long underwear.

Posted by: Mike Hammer, etc., etc. at February 20, 2017 08:39 PM (/ZEVC)

55 Trump claims prima nocta on the wives of all new employees, and sends them videotapes of the deed afterwards. Many a man has cried at how beautiful it is.

Posted by: josephistan at February 20, 2017 08:40 PM (ANIFC)

56 Acts of Trump 4:7-10

7. He spake, and hIs Head TrIbble dId rear up on the crown of hIs head,
8. And utter an un-Earthly shrIek (whIch observers InItIally thought mIght be Cthulhu hImself, but our sanIty was spared),
9. After whIch the TrIbble laId waste to my carefully organIzed communIty wIth a hue, a cry, and an odor of pork frIed rIce that had over-stayed Its welcome In the refrIdgerator.
10. And wIth another cry dId the TrIbble brIng forth a new golf course upon the face of the Earth.
11. And the people dId make merry upon the course and enjoy life.
12. Then dId Trump turn hIs baleful eye upon me and say: "ThIs Is how you organIze a communIty."

Posted by: #OccupyResoluteDeskLivesMatter at February 20, 2017 08:40 PM (16mmj)

57 Mick Jagger wishes he had Trump's dick.

Posted by: WaitingForMartel at February 20, 2017 08:40 PM (cq/qc)

58 Hell, as good a time as any for one more victory lap.

https://youtu.be/Kn9Xsmj942E

For great justice!

Posted by: logprof at February 20, 2017 08:40 PM (GsAUU)

59 All you need is love.

Posted by: George RRRRR Martin at February 20, 2017 08:40 PM (Tyii7)

60 President Trump's animatronic figure at Disney World's Hall of Presidents will fire laser beams from its eyes at any audience member that boos when Trump's name is announced.

Posted by: Hamilton at February 20, 2017 08:40 PM (sCjDS)

61 From now on, for all Presidential Press conferences "Hail to the Chief" will be replaced with "Now You're Messin' With a Son of a Bitch". Also, the press will be required to address PDT as "Daddy".
Posted by: Bilwis, Devourer of Gluten Free Souls at February 20, 2017 08:32

LOL, thanks for the chortle.

Posted by: Farmer at February 20, 2017 08:41 PM (o/90i)

62 In the presence of Trump, all snowflakes become the same.

Posted by: logprof at February 20, 2017 08:41 PM (GsAUU)

63 Trump's hair is kinda Tribble-ish.

Posted by: eleven at February 20, 2017 08:41 PM (qUNWi)

64 Trump built the Wall in Westeros and got the Wildings to pay for it.

Posted by: buzzsaw90 at February 20, 2017 08:41 PM (PqqkK)

65 Trump claims prima nocta on the wives of all new employees, and sends them videotapes of the deed afterwards. Many a man has cried at how beautiful it is.
Posted by: josephistan at February 20, 2017 08:40 PM (ANIFC)

Now that's funny!......President Trump is living the dream!

Posted by: Hairyback Guy at February 20, 2017 08:41 PM (5VlCp)

66 Trump is actually two of the Four Horsemen.

Posted by: Tilikum Killer Assault Whale at February 20, 2017 08:43 PM (hVdx9)

67 When Genghis Khan met Trump, he turned around and fled west.

Posted by: Old Blue release the KrakenTrump at February 20, 2017 08:43 PM (9iR5/)

68 Trump called Angela Merkel low energy, and Germany suffered a brownout.

Posted by: logprof at February 20, 2017 08:43 PM (GsAUU)

69 Real men read the McMaster-Carr catalog as though it were an entertaining novel.

Posted by: Mike Hammer, etc., etc. at February 20, 2017 08:43 PM (/ZEVC)

70 >>Mick Jagger wishes he had Trump's dick.

I'm busy!

Posted by: Steve Bannon at February 20, 2017 08:43 PM (/Nite)

71 60 President Trump's animatronic figure at Disney World's Hall of Presidents will fire laser beams from its eyes at any audience member that boos when Trump's name is announced.
Posted by: Hamilton at February 20, 2017 08:40 PM (sCjDS)

Every President's Day, it will rip the sax out of animatronic Clinton's hands & shove it up obama's animatronic coal chute.

Posted by: josephistan at February 20, 2017 08:44 PM (ANIFC)

72 I bet if they look hard enough, they will find the word Trump on all the Egyptian pyramids.

Posted by: Old Blue release the KrakenTrump at February 20, 2017 08:44 PM (9iR5/)

73 Trump parted his hands and the Red Sea said "How high, Sir?"

Posted by: WaitingForMartel at February 20, 2017 08:44 PM (cq/qc)

74 10. And wIth another cry dId the TrIbble brIng forth a new golf course upon the face of the Earth.
11. And the people dId make merry upon the course and enjoy life.
12. Then dId Trump turn hIs baleful eye upon me and say: "ThIs Is how you organIze a communIty."

Posted by: #OccupyResoluteDeskLivesMatter at February 20, 2017 08:40 PM (16mmj)

================

Okay, #10 got my attention ...

Posted by: Barry Soetoro at February 20, 2017 08:44 PM (mt8X9)

75
9. He whispered to Meghan McCain that he was going to grab her by the pussy, then shook her father's hand.

10. He organized a photo shoot with a bald eagle just so it could know what it was like to be so close to a symbol of pure freedom.







Okay, the rest are kind of silly, but THESE two I believe.

Posted by: IllTemperedCur at February 20, 2017 08:44 PM (cuZZW)

76 I like how the tank treads are made of gold bars.

Posted by: rickl at February 20, 2017 08:45 PM (sdi6R)

77 Some people dispute Babe Ruth calling his shot. This is true - in actuality, Donald Trump called Babe Ruth's shot, grabbed Charlie Root in his man pussy, and called Lou Gehrig a "sad crybaby" for ending his consecutive games streak because of a measly thing like ALS

Posted by: broseidon on even newer magic glowy rectangle at February 20, 2017 08:46 PM (TneZq)

78 If you look closely, you can see the word Trump on the Roman Colosseum.

Posted by: Old Blue release the KrakenTrump at February 20, 2017 08:46 PM (9iR5/)

79 In following tradition, President Trump has gotten a new dog since moving into the White House. It has three heads. Since the Gates of Hell will now be unguarded, PDT has decided to build a wall to block off the Underworld. Satan will be paying for it.

Posted by: Bilwis, Devourer of Gluten Free Souls at February 20, 2017 08:47 PM (a3sfz)

80 Trump called Nieto a loser, and the Mexican national football team has been winless since.

Posted by: logprof at February 20, 2017 08:47 PM (GsAUU)

81 Donald Trump....because even Captain Kirk needed a hero.

Posted by: Diogenes at February 20, 2017 08:47 PM (0tfLf)

82
The last guy that tried to screw Trump on a business deal got his head lopped off when Trump tossed his hair at the miscreant, Oddjob-style.

Posted by: IllTemperedCur at February 20, 2017 08:47 PM (cuZZW)

83 the st00pid apparently never ends...

bearingarms.com/jenn-j/2017/02/20/ no-black-targets-movement/

Posted by: redc1c4 at February 20, 2017 08:47 PM (JROHO)

84 Stonehenge won't be complete until Trump passes one last kidney stone so they can finally stick a roof on it.

Posted by: broseidon on even newer magic glowy rectangle at February 20, 2017 08:48 PM (TneZq)

85 To top Mick Jagger's feat of eating a Mars bar out of a woman's pussy , Donald Trump called Mick Mars a pussy and then ate him.

Posted by: Han Yolo at February 20, 2017 08:48 PM (NcVHh)

86 Ballistic missiles will return to their silos at Trump's command.

Posted by: Kodos the Executioner at February 20, 2017 08:48 PM (J8/9G)

87
Donald Trump will require WH Press Corps members to obrain and wear diamond-studded chokers, with each one bearing an engraved nameplate that reads "I Am Donald's Bitch".

Posted by: Krebs v Carnot: Epic Battle of the Cycling Stars (TM) at February 20, 2017 08:49 PM (v1g1+)

88 Who is generally considered the Fifth Beatle -- is it Yoko, George Martin, Neil Aspinall, or another?
Posted by: ShainS at February 20, 2017 08:39

I'd call it the guy who died in Germany of an aneurism, Stu Sutcliffe? Who is Neal Aspinall?

Posted by: Farmer at February 20, 2017 08:49 PM (o/90i)

89 My friends, we have nothing to fear with Barack Hussein Obama in the White House...

Now that Trump guy on the other hand...

Posted by: John McCain at February 20, 2017 08:49 PM (DpOmP)

90 Trump has no desire to be carved onto Mt Rushmore but would agree to rebrand it as Mt Trump.

Posted by: Sebastian Melmoth at February 20, 2017 08:49 PM (IDPbH)

91 In Russia, pussy grabs you!

(If you've been there, you know that is true.)

Posted by: Tonypete at February 20, 2017 08:50 PM (tr2D7)

92 Donald Trump once mentiioned to his golfing buddies that he could make his dick 12 inches long.
When his buddies asked him how he could reach the 12 inch length, DJT answered, immodestly, 'I just fold it in half'.....

Posted by: 'Cold Civil War'. That seems apt. at February 20, 2017 08:50 PM (oBuXO)

93 When Trump is small blind in Oval Office games of Texas Hold Em, Ft. Knox is his ante.

Posted by: broseidon on even newer magic glowy rectangle at February 20, 2017 08:50 PM (TneZq)

94 Who is Neal Aspinall?

Posted by: Farmer at February 20, 2017 08:49 PM (o/90i)

======================

I think he was the Beatles' financial manager or something for like 40 years ...

Posted by: ShainS at February 20, 2017 08:51 PM (mt8X9)

95 Pete Best, drummer before Ringo

Posted by: Ignoramus at February 20, 2017 08:51 PM (bQxkN)

96 Danger took Donald Trump's middle name.

Posted by: Dirty Mike at February 20, 2017 08:51 PM (D5vF0)

97 Wasn't Brian Epstein called the fifth Beatle?

Posted by: Old Blue release the KrakenTrump at February 20, 2017 08:51 PM (9iR5/)

98 Donald Trump laughs with mocking disdain at chili without carrots.

Posted by: George RRRRR Martin at February 20, 2017 08:51 PM (Tyii7)

99 Trump claims prima nocta on the wives of all new employees, and sends them videotapes of the deed afterwards. Many a man has cried at how beautiful it is.
Posted by: josephistan at February 20, 2017 08:40 PM (ANIFC)


---

Then wives then ask for Secunda nocta

Posted by: buzzsaw90 at February 20, 2017 08:52 PM (PqqkK)

100 98 Donald Trump laughs with mocking disdain at chili without carrots.
Posted by: George RRRRR Martin at February 20, 2017 08:51 PM (Tyii7)

Trump makes chili with karats.

Posted by: josephistan at February 20, 2017 08:52 PM (ANIFC)

101 76 I like how the tank treads are made of gold bars.
Posted by: rickl at February 20, 2017 08:45 PM (sdi6R)

---

Nice-looking, but impractical.

Plus, I'd hate to be the mechanic to have to change those out.

Posted by: SMFH at February 20, 2017 08:52 PM (CRotO)

102 Your promised submissive Russian bride? How do you think they got that way?

Posted by: Kodos the Executioner at February 20, 2017 08:52 PM (J8/9G)

103 98
Donald Trump laughs with mocking disdain at chili without carrots.


Posted by: George RRRRR Martin at February 20, 2017 08:51 PM (Tyii7)
I declare this to be Fake News!

Posted by: Old Blue release the KrakenTrump at February 20, 2017 08:52 PM (9iR5/)

104
Donald Trump will bring the NFL to heel by insisting that all 32 teams immediately adopt the name "Redskins".

Posted by: Krebs v Carnot: Epic Battle of the Cycling Stars (TM) at February 20, 2017 08:52 PM (v1g1+)

105 95 Pete Best, drummer before Ringo
Posted by: Ignoramus at February 20, 2017 08:51 PM (bQxkN)


If Best was the drummer first, wouldn't that make Ringo the fifth Beatle?

Posted by: rickl at February 20, 2017 08:53 PM (sdi6R)

106 John Galt wonders "who is Donald Trump?".

Posted by: The Mouse that Roared at February 20, 2017 08:53 PM (7N6ox)

107 Donald Trump drinks coffee.

Posted by: eleven at February 20, 2017 08:53 PM (qUNWi)

108 Donald Trump? Never heard of him...

Posted by: Charlie Gibson at February 20, 2017 08:53 PM (DpOmP)

109 At Trump Towers, shelves install themselves.

Posted by: Diogenes at February 20, 2017 08:53 PM (0tfLf)

110 Best fifth Beatle is producer George Martin. Had a huge influence on their sound from the beginning of their golden years until their end

Posted by: Ignoramus at February 20, 2017 08:53 PM (bQxkN)

111 Oh, I want to so bad.
But while I think The Big Guy would get a kick out of it, yep, heard Him laughing knowing what I was thinking, not so sure about others.


Posted by: teej at February 20, 2017 08:53 PM (mzTVj)

112 Trump doesn't drink alcohol because It would be the end of the world if Trump got beer muscles.

Posted by: Sebastian Melmoth at February 20, 2017 08:53 PM (IDPbH)

113 Donald Trump's grandson is being raised Orthodox Jewish. At the bris, the mohel waived his fee. That mohel's name? Paul Bunyanstein.

Posted by: Bilwis, Devourer of Gluten Free Souls at February 20, 2017 08:54 PM (a3sfz)

114 Hydrox cookies crumble at the sound of Trump's approach.

Posted by: Kodos the Executioner at February 20, 2017 08:54 PM (J8/9G)

115
Gutzon Borglum declined the offer to sculpt a monument to Donald Trump's hair because he insisted that only Mt Everest would do the Magic Scalp Weasel justice.

Posted by: IllTemperedCur at February 20, 2017 08:54 PM (cuZZW)

116 Donald Trump knows where Jimmy Hoffa is.

He also personally knows DB Cooper.

Posted by: Tilikum Killer Assault Whale at February 20, 2017 08:54 PM (hVdx9)

117 Trump was born to a drunk absentee father and a mother so virulently communist that she left his Indonesian stepfather when he was promoted to a stable and profitable job. Then his mother died, and he lived with his grandparents and was tutored by a communist buddy while doing f*ck-all in school, skated through college, and got shuffled up from do-nothing cake job in Chicago to the US Senate and then the presidency.

Wait, I may be thinking of someone else.

Posted by: hogmartin at February 20, 2017 08:55 PM (8nWyX)

118 Donald Trump will bring the NFL to heel by insisting that all 32 teams immediately adopt the name "Redskins".
Posted by: Krebs v Carnot: Epic Battle of the Cycling Stars (TM) at February 20, 2017 08:52 PM (v1g1+)

---

Yeah, not happening.

Posted by: Raider Nation - Vegas Bound at February 20, 2017 08:55 PM (CRotO)

119 Trump can eat only one Lay's potato chip.

Posted by: Old Blue release the KrakenTrump at February 20, 2017 08:55 PM (9iR5/)

120 Who is generally considered the Fifth Beatle -- is it Yoko, George Martin, Neil Aspinall, or another?

Apu Nahasapeemapetilon.

Posted by: Grump928(C) at February 20, 2017 08:55 PM (LTHVh)

121 When Donald Trump declares "the guys get shirts", a million sheep disappear.

Posted by: George RRRRR Martin at February 20, 2017 08:55 PM (Tyii7)

122 President Trump doesn't know the price of arugula - but he has proclaimed those who do are pussies.

Posted by: Tonypete at February 20, 2017 08:55 PM (tr2D7)

123 Donald Trump is Bigfoot AND Wildboy.

Posted by: eleven at February 20, 2017 08:55 PM (qUNWi)

124 Trumps drill works even better in reverse.

Posted by: Tilikum Killer Assault Whale at February 20, 2017 08:55 PM (hVdx9)

125 116 Donald Trump knows where Jimmy Hoffa is.

He also personally knows DB Cooper.
Posted by: Tilikum Killer Assault Whale at February 20, 2017 08:54 PM (hVdx9)

He keeps them in a private zoo, along with Judge Crater & Amelia Earhart.

I watched Night Gallery last night

Posted by: josephistan at February 20, 2017 08:56 PM (ANIFC)

126 To summon extra strength while arm-wrestling, Donald Trump has been know to turn his toupee backwards.

Posted by: Han Yolo at February 20, 2017 08:56 PM (NcVHh)

127 Donald Trump has a one man Supertramp tribute band called Supertrump. After a stirring rendition of "The Logical Song" over the phone, Gorbachev started glasnost.

Posted by: broseidon on even newer magic glowy rectangle at February 20, 2017 08:57 PM (TneZq)

128 The White House Press Corps wear Depends to his pressers to hide the embarrassment of their bodily response when he speaks to them.

Posted by: oddnot enjoying #winning still with schadenboner to prove it at February 20, 2017 08:57 PM (g1MTt)

129 ShainS: Neil Aspinall was, along with Mal Evans, a Beatles roadie and assistant. He became head of Apple by the 1980s by virtue of being not aligned explicitly with any of the four post-breakup.

NYC Top 40 jock Murray The K, when the Fabs came to America, used to style himself the Fifth Beatle.

Posted by: Squints at February 20, 2017 08:57 PM (uxyrp)

130 Amelia Earhart got lost over the Trump Sea.

Posted by: eleven at February 20, 2017 08:57 PM (qUNWi)

131 Trump believes it's not butter.

Posted by: josephistan at February 20, 2017 08:58 PM (ANIFC)

132 The Donald Trump Action Figure will be anatomically fully functional ... like me.

Posted by: Commander Data at February 20, 2017 08:58 PM (mt8X9)

133 Trump fools with Mother Nature.

Posted by: Tonypete at February 20, 2017 08:58 PM (tr2D7)

134 Amelia Earhart's last words were "I gotta see this".

Posted by: eleven at February 20, 2017 08:58 PM (qUNWi)

135 Trump has already gone where no man has gone before.

Posted by: Old Blue release the KrakenTrump at February 20, 2017 08:59 PM (9iR5/)

136 Trump *was* DB Cooper. He survived having a faulty chute by landing on the golden scalp weasel. He bet the heist money on the Lions winning the Super Bowl, because it was more fun than burning it.

Posted by: broseidon on even newer magic glowy rectangle at February 20, 2017 08:59 PM (TneZq)

137 Trump thinks the most interesting man in the world is kind of boring.

Posted by: Sebastian Melmoth at February 20, 2017 08:59 PM (IDPbH)

138 The colossus of Rhodes. Yep, it's Trump.

Posted by: Beartooth at February 20, 2017 08:59 PM (qIhPN)

139 Trump believes it's not butter.
Posted by: josephistan
----------

Trump doesn't give a shit about fooling Mother Nature.

Posted by: Mike Hammer, etc., etc. at February 20, 2017 08:59 PM (/ZEVC)

140 Trump squeezed the Charmin (twice)

Posted by: The Mouse that Roared at February 20, 2017 08:59 PM (7N6ox)

141 Donald Trump is Bigfoot AND Wildboy.
====

Wait, wait, weren't those the Secret Service call signs for Mooch and Barry?

Posted by: That's Racist at February 20, 2017 09:00 PM (OVUYQ)

142
Donald Trump has had sharks with laser beams mounted in their heads since he was twelve years old.

Posted by: Krebs v Carnot: Epic Battle of the Cycling Stars (TM) at February 20, 2017 09:00 PM (v1g1+)

143 137
Trump thinks the most interesting man in the world is kind of boring.

Posted by: Sebastian Melmoth at February 20, 2017 08:59 PM (IDPbH)

Trump has the previous most interesting man in the world mowing his lawn.

Posted by: Deplorable Jay Guevara at February 20, 2017 09:00 PM (SRKgf)

144 In the remake of Revenant, Trumps screws the bear

Posted by: Old Blue release the KrakenTrump at February 20, 2017 09:00 PM (9iR5/)

145 If you're frightened of dying and... and you're holding on, you'll see devils tearing your life away. But if you've made your peace, then the devils are really Donald J. Trump, freeing you from the earth.

Posted by: hogmartin at February 20, 2017 09:01 PM (8nWyX)

146
Trump gets royalty payments every time the phrases alt-right and alt-left are used in social media.

Posted by: Krebs v Carnot: Epic Battle of the Cycling Stars (TM) at February 20, 2017 09:01 PM (v1g1+)

147 Trump made the unions build him a wall around Mara Lago, and they paid him for the experience.

Posted by: Boone at February 20, 2017 09:01 PM (8yCZZ)

148 After watching Trump's press conference, Wade Wilson took the MSM in his Deadpool

Posted by: buzzsaw90 at February 20, 2017 09:01 PM (PqqkK)

149 Donald Trump visited the Virgin Islands a couple of years ago.

Now they're just known as "The Islands".

Richard Branson won't let him fly on Virgin Airlines.

Posted by: Tom Servo at February 20, 2017 09:01 PM (V2Yro)

150 Trump was the inspiration for the Death Star, even though his exhaust port is bigger than two meters.

Posted by: josephistan at February 20, 2017 09:02 PM (ANIFC)

151 And the one that blows Democrats away:

President Trump can speak without using the word "Umm".

Posted by: t-bird at February 20, 2017 09:02 PM (eeTCA)

152 Trump pulled on Superman's cape, and Trump messed around with Jim.

Posted by: logprof at February 20, 2017 09:02 PM (GsAUU)

153 144 In the remake of Revenant, Trumps screws the bear
Posted by: Old Blue release the KrakenTrump at February 20, 2017 09:00 PM (9iR5/)

When Trump crosses path with a bear , the bear plays dead.

Posted by: Sebastian Melmoth at February 20, 2017 09:02 PM (IDPbH)

154
MEDIA ALERT - Milo Yiannopoulos Press Conference In New York City
Tuesday, February 21 2017 at 3pm

Milo Yiannopoulos will be making his first on-camera comments to press
regarding the recent controversy over statements Milo made during Joe
Rogan and Drunken Peasants podcasts. Questions will be taken following a
statement.

Posted by: Tami at February 20, 2017 09:02 PM (Enq6K)

155 Donald Trump thinks Red Dawn is the best documentary ever.

Posted by: Han Yolo at February 20, 2017 09:02 PM (NcVHh)

156 Trump has Grendel's arm hanging on the wall.

Posted by: Mike Hammer, etc., etc. at February 20, 2017 09:03 PM (/ZEVC)

157 MSM hasn't figured it out yet, but Trump has grabbed them by the pussy, and he's not letting go.

Posted by: Old Blue release the KrakenTrump at February 20, 2017 09:03 PM (9iR5/)

158 Swedish blonde lady on Tucker.

Posted by: Bertram Cabot, Jr. at February 20, 2017 09:03 PM (IqV8l)

159 The First Lady used to be gay.

Posted by: whatmeworry? at February 20, 2017 09:03 PM (dZGNV)

160 Trump poked the bear, and the bear said "Sorry."

Posted by: logprof at February 20, 2017 09:03 PM (GsAUU)

161 When Trump moves the Overton Window, he gets a 40% discount

Posted by: buzzsaw90 at February 20, 2017 09:03 PM (PqqkK)

162 8. He doesn't give a rat's ass which bathroom Lindsey Graham uses.

9. He whispered to Meghan McCain that he was going to grab her by the pussy, then shook her father's hand.


Burns. Sick they are.

Posted by: Master Yoda at February 20, 2017 09:03 PM (HV1LS)

163 137 Trump thinks the most interesting man in the world is kind of boring.
Posted by: Sebastian Melmoth at February 20, 2017 08:59 PM (IDPbH)



Well the new one is.


I wouldn't be shocked if there is some sort of push to either end the campaign for Dos Equis completely or to have the original return.

Posted by: buzzion at February 20, 2017 09:03 PM (z/Ubi)

164 Donald Trump knew who Keyser Sozé was all along.

Posted by: Unsure if deplorable, officially styled moron at February 20, 2017 09:04 PM (Eynls)

165 Posted by: Squints at February 20, 2017 08:57 PM (uxyrp)

===========

Thanks for the info. Remember seeing something about his funeral at the time ...

Posted by: ShainS at February 20, 2017 09:04 PM (mt8X9)

166 just finished setting up the wife's new computer.

Yuuuge Monitor. Really Classy.

The best. Ever.

Posted by: simplemind at February 20, 2017 09:04 PM (ZuGkg)

167
Donald Trump is about to force the Mexican government to buy the Great Wall of China, then disassemble it using deported illegal aliens from this country, transport it to our border with Mexico and rebuild it there.

Posted by: Krebs v Carnot: Epic Battle of the Cycling Stars (TM) at February 20, 2017 09:04 PM (v1g1+)

168 Nice looking broads they got there. Shame what's gonna happen to them all.

Posted by: josephistan at February 20, 2017 09:04 PM (ANIFC)

169 When President Trump flys, the Aircraft is called

Air Force Won

Posted by: buzzsaw90 at February 20, 2017 09:04 PM (PqqkK)

170 MJ is a friend and an old timey AoS commenter. I gave him openblogger keys last week.
He's kind of a dick, you should probably rough him up a little.

Posted by: lauraw at February 20, 2017 09:05 PM (D+nQH)

171
Donald Trump sees nothing but dead people in the WH Press Room.

Posted by: Krebs v Carnot: Epic Battle of the Cycling Stars (TM) at February 20, 2017 09:05 PM (v1g1+)

172
Swedish blonde lady on Tucker.

Posted by: Bertram Cabot, Jr. at February 20, 2017 09:03 PM (IqV8l)









Is this on PornHub?

Posted by: IllTemperedCur at February 20, 2017 09:05 PM (cuZZW)

173 PDT: "TelePrompTers are for pussies!"

Posted by: Diogenes at February 20, 2017 09:05 PM (0tfLf)

174 Donald Trump is Darth Vader's father

Posted by: buzzsaw90 at February 20, 2017 09:06 PM (PqqkK)

175 Trump watched "Old Yeller" and didn't cry.

Posted by: Tonypete at February 20, 2017 09:06 PM (tr2D7)

176 Brian Williams thinks he's lead a sheltered life compared to Trump.

Posted by: Blutarski-esque 0.0 at February 20, 2017 09:06 PM (xJxz7)

177 Trump made billions of dollars, and built stuff no one else could get built. Early, and under budget. He's married to a model, and has well turned out kids. He's written a number of best-sellers, had a huge hit TV show, and the first time he decided to get into politics, he won the Presidency of the United States.

Am I doing this right?

Posted by: blaster at February 20, 2017 09:06 PM (HV1LS)

178 Trump thinks Galactus is a pussy.

Posted by: josephistan at February 20, 2017 09:06 PM (ANIFC)

179 At the start of each news conference Trump demands the press chant, "Those of us who are about to die salute you."

Posted by: Beartooth at February 20, 2017 09:06 PM (qIhPN)

180 I wouldn't be shocked if there is some sort of push to either end the campaign for Dos Equis completely or to have the original return.
Posted by: buzzion
-----------

Ugly dude...and needs some serious cosmetic dentistry.

Posted by: Mike Hammer, etc., etc. at February 20, 2017 09:06 PM (/ZEVC)

181 Donald Trump's first order as Commander in Chief was the torpedoing of Olbermann's duck.

Posted by: George RRRRR Martin at February 20, 2017 09:06 PM (Tyii7)

182 Plus, I'd hate to be the mechanic to have to change those out.
---
i thought that was crew maintenance?

true story: i was in a DS maintenance company once, for a couple of years.

they enlisted some SYT to be a mechanic: she was so petite she couldn't lift her tool box, or break loose lug nuts on a Deuce.

however, she was young, nubile, black and, apparently "friendly" so she was headed to E-5 when i left those idiots and went to the 1/18th Cav instead.

Posted by: redc1c4 at February 20, 2017 09:06 PM (JROHO)

183 PDT's name is a killing word.

Posted by: Old Blue release the KrakenTrump at February 20, 2017 09:06 PM (9iR5/)

184 Trump puts his pants on two legs at a time.

Posted by: Tonypete at February 20, 2017 09:07 PM (tr2D7)

185 Swedish lady on Tucker. This wouldn't be hard if government put out full numbers. Increase in crime is likely mostly attributable to refugees. Decrease in rape in last year can be because Swedish women are taking more care

Posted by: Ignoramus at February 20, 2017 09:07 PM (bQxkN)

186 If Trump had built it, Pink wouldn't have been able to tear down the Wall

Posted by: buzzsaw90 at February 20, 2017 09:07 PM (PqqkK)

187 179 At the start of each news conference Trump demands the press chant, "Those of us who are about to die salute you."
Posted by: Beartooth at February 20, 2017 09:06 PM (qIhPN)

I LOL'd

Posted by: josephistan at February 20, 2017 09:07 PM (ANIFC)

188 If you review the original documents, FDR said:

"We have nothing to fear but fear itself"

"And that fucking Trump guy"

Posted by: Blutarski-esque 0.0 at February 20, 2017 09:07 PM (xJxz7)

189 Trump called Iron Eyes Cody a pussy and made him pick up all the litter on the highway.

Posted by: broseidon on even newer magic glowy rectangle at February 20, 2017 09:08 PM (TneZq)

190 Donald Trump knows the water is both cold and deep.

Posted by: Bacon Jeff at February 20, 2017 09:08 PM (VSenK)

191 >>134 Amelia Earhart's last words were "I gotta see this".

Not "Hold my beer?"

Posted by: Squints at February 20, 2017 09:08 PM (uxyrp)

192 When Trump drops his jellied toast, it lands jelly side up.

Posted by: Tonypete at February 20, 2017 09:09 PM (tr2D7)

193 146
Trump gets royalty payments every time the phrases alt-right and alt-left are used in social media.

Posted by: Krebs v Carnot: Epic Battle of the Cycling Stars (TM) at February 20, 2017 09:01 PM (v1g1+)

=========================

Got a chuckle out of moron "filbert" in the Milo thread refer to them as the ctrl-left ...

Posted by: ShainS at February 20, 2017 09:09 PM (mt8X9)

194 On the day he was born, the nurses all gathered around, they gazed with wide wonder at the huge, luxurious, best ever, joy they had found.

Posted by: Batterup at February 20, 2017 09:09 PM (mtGE/)

195 After January 20, the White House became

Donald J. Trump

presents:

The White House

Posted by: logprof at February 20, 2017 09:09 PM (GsAUU)

196 When Ah-ha sang "take on me" Trump already had

Posted by: Batterup at February 20, 2017 09:09 PM (mtGE/)

197 Can you imagine if Dick Cheney and Donald Trump occupied the same space?

Posted by: mpfs in PA at February 20, 2017 09:09 PM (79p/O)

198 MJ is a friend and an old timey AoS commenter

Never heard of him.

Posted by: Charlie Gibson at February 20, 2017 09:09 PM (Tyii7)

199 MJ is a friend and an old timey AoS commenter. I gave him openblogger keys last week.

He's kind of a dick, you should probably rough him up a little.
Posted by: lauraw at February 20, 2017 09:05 PM (D+nQH)


Please have MJ e-mail me. I would like a word with him.

Posted by: OregonMuse, deplorable since 2004 at February 20, 2017 09:10 PM (KW1qk)

200 America has been thirsty for an American hero.

Trump slaked that thirst. He is our Davy Crockett.

Posted by: cicero Kaboom! kid at February 20, 2017 09:10 PM (uB+td)

201 Donald Trump knows the water is both cold and deep.
Posted by: Bacon Jeff at February 20, 2017

That right there. That right there is funny

Posted by: Blutarski-esque 0.0 at February 20, 2017 09:10 PM (xJxz7)

202 That punk Billy Joel knows Trump started the fire.

Posted by: Mr. Peebles at February 20, 2017 09:10 PM (oVJmc)

203 125 I used to lead Tours for UJA.
Posted by: Nevergiveup at February 20, 2017 07:42 PM (SjImc)



Trump can install shelves in seconds flat--using his teeth.

Posted by: Ladylibertarian at February 20, 2017 09:11 PM (nQ10o)

204 183 PDT's name is a killing word.
Posted by: Old Blue release the KrakenTrump at February 20, 2017 09:06 PM (9iR5/)

PDT put his hand in the box and the box cried

Posted by: Batterup at February 20, 2017 09:11 PM (mtGE/)

205
Thus far Donald Trump has spared the Earth from the ravages of global warming by refusing to light one of his farts.

Posted by: Krebs v Carnot: Epic Battle of the Cycling Stars (TM) at February 20, 2017 09:11 PM (v1g1+)

206 195: The Trump International Hotel and White House, Washington, D.C.

Posted by: Geronimo Stilton at February 20, 2017 09:11 PM (OVUYQ)

207 Trump always covers his mouth when he sneezes so as not to impregnate any women in the room.

Posted by: Sebastian Melmoth at February 20, 2017 09:11 PM (IDPbH)

208 re 141: well, Big something, I'm sure

Posted by: mallfly of the Jungle at February 20, 2017 09:11 PM (b7fwp)

209 170
MJ is a friend and an old timey AoS commenter. I gave him openblogger keys last week.
He's kind of a dick, you should probably rough him up a little.


Posted by: lauraw at February 20, 2017 09:05 PM (D+nQH)

Oh sorry lauraw....I had no idea you'd be the bitch I'd have to cut.

Wait...that didn't come out right.....um, thanks?

Posted by: Tami at February 20, 2017 09:11 PM (Enq6K)

210 Donald Trump made over half of Hollywood admit that they were traitorous scum. They wear it like a badge of honor.

Posted by: Fritz at February 20, 2017 09:12 PM (wmcUK)

211 They did meet once. Trump and Cheney had a bet to see who could hurl a large rock further into space.

Some scientists call the result of this bet THE FUCKING MOON.

Posted by: broseidon on even newer magic glowy rectangle at February 20, 2017 09:12 PM (TneZq)

212 OT:

That clueless bint was Ambassador to Sweden?

Posted by: logprof at February 20, 2017 09:12 PM (GsAUU)

213 Donald Trump recently told Xi Jinping a Great Wall like his wasn't a sound engineering idea....because "there are hundreds of millions of chinks behind it, so obviously it doesn't work."

Posted by: Han Yolo at February 20, 2017 09:12 PM (NcVHh)

214 175 Trump watched "Old Yeller" and didn't cry.

Posted by: Tonypete at February 20, 2017 09:06 PM (tr2D7)

======================

If he didn't cry while watching the original Brian's Song ... I'm done with him!

Posted by: ShainS at February 20, 2017 09:12 PM (mt8X9)

215 You know, not to re-thrash the last thread or anything, but, Tucker Carlson...

Did somebody see the previews of this one, or is it live right now?

Obama's ambassador to Sweden has a...is it not Iranian...name?
"I could get into the weeds with you over these numbers..."
"I don't want to get into numbers..."

Posted by: Stringer Davis at February 20, 2017 09:13 PM (H5rtT)

216 Trump took a pee off the side of his yacht and a shark jumped up and bit his dick.

Trump kegeled until its head exploded.

Posted by: Mr. Peebles at February 20, 2017 09:13 PM (oVJmc)

217 Trump's hair is a known cure for lycanthropy.

Posted by: Boone at February 20, 2017 09:13 PM (8yCZZ)

218
Trump got rid of the IRS, EPA, Dept. of Education, Dept of Energy and all funding to "public" broadcasting.

Posted by: TheQuietMan at February 20, 2017 09:13 PM (auHtY)

219
Obama's ambassador to Sweden has a...is it not Iranian...name?
"I could get into the weeds with you over these numbers..."


She should go into the BOG!!

Posted by: Bertram Cabot, Jr. at February 20, 2017 09:14 PM (IqV8l)

220 Y'all, I sometimes think AOS is the finest thing in life.

Posted by: Alana at February 20, 2017 09:14 PM (XZS4L)

221 Trump, he is the
Kwisatz Haderach

Posted by: publius (not Breitbart publius) at February 20, 2017 09:14 PM (DW+jj)

222 Love that image! Also, google "glorious Trump tank gif" to retrieve the action version of the same, it's hilarious. I'll try to post it here, but it probably won't work.

Posted by: Beverly at February 20, 2017 09:15 PM (CLufM)

223 181 Donald Trump's first order as Commander in Chief was the torpedoing of Olbermann's duck.

Posted by: George RRRRR Martin at February 20, 2017 09:06 PM (Tyii7)

===================

I first read that as "Olbermann's dick" and wondered if we have technology that precise ...

Posted by: ShainS at February 20, 2017 09:15 PM (mt8X9)

224 PDT and Dick Cheney shook hands and the space time continuum was never the same again

Posted by: Blutarski-esque 0.0 at February 20, 2017 09:15 PM (xJxz7)

225 MJ is a friend and an old timey AoS commenter

Never heard of him.

Posted by: Amy Schumer at February 20, 2017 09:15 PM (wB8Tg)

226
Donald Trump is going to bankrupt that putz Zuckerberg by launching InYourFacebook.

Posted by: Krebs v Carnot: Epic Battle of the Cycling Stars (TM) at February 20, 2017 09:15 PM (v1g1+)

227 Only Trump understands the lyrics to Beck songs.

Posted by: josephistan at February 20, 2017 09:15 PM (ANIFC)

228 PDT had a cameo on Red Dawn. Patrick Swayze didn't come out of his trailer for three days.

Posted by: Diogenes at February 20, 2017 09:15 PM (0tfLf)

229 http://___ur.com/gallery/d5Z4tEh

Posted by: Beverly at February 20, 2017 09:15 PM (CLufM)

230 The Black-Eyed Peas will gain relevance again with their new single, "My Trump."

Posted by: Boone at February 20, 2017 09:15 PM (8yCZZ)

231 197 Can you imagine if Dick Cheney and Donald Trump occupied the same space?

They'd go Quayle hunting.

Posted by: Squints at February 20, 2017 09:15 PM (uxyrp)

232 Trump was going to fight the Law, but the Law forfeited and Trump won by default.

Posted by: logprof at February 20, 2017 09:15 PM (GsAUU)

233 Godot waits for TRump

Posted by: runner at February 20, 2017 09:16 PM (c6/9Q)

234 Voldemort is afraid to speak Trump's name

Posted by: WaitingForMartel at February 20, 2017 09:16 PM (cq/qc)

235 Trump got the Ad Council to run commercials about shutting down the Ad Council.

Posted by: freaked at February 20, 2017 09:16 PM (BO/km)

236 See #229, and instead of the underscore, substitute ___ to make it ___ur.

Posted by: Beverly at February 20, 2017 09:16 PM (CLufM)

237 When Trump is on board - you don't need a bigger boat

Posted by: Batterup at February 20, 2017 09:16 PM (mtGE/)

238 Trump has Schrödinger's cat chasing mice in the WH basement.

Posted by: Mike Hammer, etc., etc. at February 20, 2017 09:16 PM (/ZEVC)

239 Explanation for Bermuda Triangle: Trump needs boats

Posted by: Blutarski-esque 0.0 at February 20, 2017 09:16 PM (xJxz7)

240 Donald's Trumpsters got the last laugh.

Posted by: teej at February 20, 2017 09:17 PM (mzTVj)

241 Soylent Green is made of Trump's enemies, and he approves.

Posted by: WaitingForMartel at February 20, 2017 09:17 PM (cq/qc)

242 When an establishment hangs a sign that reads "Trump Slept Here," birth rates increase 20%.

Posted by: logprof at February 20, 2017 09:17 PM (GsAUU)

243

Posted by: Beverly at February 20, 2017 09:15 PM (CLufM)

http://tinyurl.com/zayxa6a

Posted by: Bertram Cabot, Jr. at February 20, 2017 09:17 PM (IqV8l)

244 I first read that as "Olbermann's dick" and wondered if we have technology that precise ...

Posted by: ShainS at February 20, 2017 09:15 PM (mt8X9)


Well, nanotechnology is getting pretty amazing these days.

Posted by: OregonMuse, deplorable since 2004 at February 20, 2017 09:17 PM (KW1qk)

245 220 Y'all, I sometimes think AOS is the finest thing in life.

- - - -

Yeah. I've burned thru 35% of my battery sitting here. It's friggin great to win!

Posted by: Diogenes at February 20, 2017 09:17 PM (0tfLf)

246 Please have MJ e-mail me. I would like a word with him.

Posted by: OregonMuse, deplorable since 2004 at February 20, 2017 09:10 PM (KW1qk)

===================

Threadwinner!

Posted by: ShainS at February 20, 2017 09:17 PM (mt8X9)

247 Trump has signed an executive order repealing SMOD.

Posted by: Kodos the Executioner at February 20, 2017 09:17 PM (J8/9G)

248 If Donald Trump shakes hands with a woman, every woman in her family becomes pregnant.

Posted by: Mr. Peebles at February 20, 2017 09:18 PM (oVJmc)

249 182 Plus, I'd hate to be the mechanic to have to change those out.
---
i thought that was crew maintenance?

true story: i was in a DS maintenance company once, for a couple of years.

---

We learned the hard way tankers should never be left to their own devices.

Yes, it's operator-level maintenance, but how many of those gold bars would be left?

As far as the chick-story, wtf does that have to do with anything?

Posted by: Raider Nation - Vegas Bound at February 20, 2017 09:18 PM (CRotO)

250 That woman actually claimed that Swedes don't yell.

Posted by: josephistan at February 20, 2017 09:18 PM (ANIFC)

251 236 See #229, and instead of the underscore, substitute ___ to make it ___ur.
Posted by: Beverly at February 20, 2017 09:16 PM (CLufM)

Thus proving when you just have a thread about Trump, it breaks the internet

Posted by: Batterup at February 20, 2017 09:18 PM (mtGE/)

252 Trump cheated death.
Death was actually ok with it.

Posted by: Tilikum Killer Assault Whale at February 20, 2017 09:18 PM (hVdx9)

253 Trump suspended entropy.

Posted by: Mr. Peebles at February 20, 2017 09:18 PM (oVJmc)

254 It was Trump who decreed that the words DON'T PANIC appear on the cover of "Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy."

Posted by: Ladylibertarian at February 20, 2017 09:18 PM (nQ10o)

255 OMG. I had to turn off Tucker Carlson and Female Skelator.

Sweden is in "It's all Skittles and Unicorns" mode.

BTW, there is a blogger by the name of Fjordsman. He's now at Gates of Vienna. He's been blogging about Muslim violence in Sweden for at least 15 years.

Or go to Jihad Watch and search Sweden.

They have problems. Serious problems.

But obviously, the only answer is to let their women be raped and killed, while protesting their crime rate is going down.

Posted by: Louis Farrakahn and the Hair Guy fron Ancient Aliens at February 20, 2017 09:18 PM (J5mC3)

256 On meeting PDT, John Wick said, "Fuck it, I'm out"

Posted by: Blutarski-esque 0.0 at February 20, 2017 09:19 PM (xJxz7)

257 The most interesting Man in the World, says Trump is more interesting...

Stay thirsty my Friends...

Posted by: Don Q. at February 20, 2017 09:19 PM (qf6WZ)

258 238. That's genius, right there.

Posted by: Your Decidedly Devious Uncle Palpatine. Glory to Kekistan! No Longer Accepting Harem Applicants at February 20, 2017 09:20 PM (Ni8Pt)

259 236 See #229, and instead of the underscore
--

If you could kindly repair to The Barrel...

Posted by: Geronimo Stilton at February 20, 2017 09:20 PM (OVUYQ)

260 The inuit have 50 words for snow, and 100 words for Trump.

Posted by: broseidon on even newer magic glowy rectangle at February 20, 2017 09:20 PM (TneZq)

261 Donald Trump carves custom shelving from Redwood trees utilizing his little hands and an Russian oyster knife.

Posted by: Fritz at February 20, 2017 09:21 PM (wmcUK)

262 222 Love that image! Also, google "glorious Trump tank gif" to retrieve the action version of the same, it's hilarious. I'll try to post it here, but it probably won't work.
Posted by: Beverly at February 20, 2017 09:15 PM (CLufM)

--It's also at the end of All Your Base Are Belong to Us.

Posted by: logprof at February 20, 2017 09:21 PM (GsAUU)

263 9. He whispered to Meghan McCain that he was going to grab her by the pussy, then shook her father's hand.

Okay, I don't care who you are, that's funny.

---

MINE

Posted by: Amy Schumer at February 20, 2017 09:21 PM (PqqkK)

264 In two billion years, our sun will burn out. Then Trump will work in the dark

Posted by: Blutarski-esque 0.0 at February 20, 2017 09:21 PM (xJxz7)

265
Donald Trump has had all of Obama's skittle-shitting unicorns hunted down, killed, dressed out, butchered and frozen. They'll be served at all WH State Dinners.

Posted by: Krebs v Carnot: Epic Battle of the Cycling Stars (TM) at February 20, 2017 09:22 PM (v1g1+)

266 King Kong peels bananas for Trump.

Posted by: Kodos the Executioner at February 20, 2017 09:22 PM (J8/9G)

267 Trump is raping and murdering Judd Aptow with his mere presence



When Trump was elected, Apatow said, he felt like "a person about to get raped, but I didn't know how bad it would be." Now that Trump is president, he added, "I feel like I've just been raped and I just don't know if I'm going to get murdered."

Posted by: TheQuietMan at February 20, 2017 09:22 PM (auHtY)

268 When Genghis Khan met Trump, he turned around and fled west.

That's Jenjhis Khan- John F. Kerry D- Vietnam

Posted by: EVLINC! at February 20, 2017 09:22 PM (y3aQB)

269 President Trump's new limo?
Optimus Prime in disguise.

Posted by: Hamilton at February 20, 2017 09:22 PM (sCjDS)

270 Millions died fighting in wars over the doctrine of Trumpocentrism - does Trump orbit the sun, or does the sun orbit Trump? To this day science is only on the fringes of this fascinating question.

Posted by: broseidon on even newer magic glowy rectangle at February 20, 2017 09:22 PM (TneZq)

271 Well, nanotechnology is getting pretty amazing these days.

Posted by: OregonMuse, deplorable since 2004 at February 20, 2017 09:17 PM (KW1qk)

======================

Zing!

Posted by: ShainS at February 20, 2017 09:22 PM (mt8X9)

272 Exactly who do you think the Blondie song "call me" was about. Friggin desperate plea

Posted by: Batterup at February 20, 2017 09:23 PM (mtGE/)

273 Sequoia seeds dream of growing up to be Trump's schlong

Posted by: Amy Schumer at February 20, 2017 09:23 PM (PqqkK)

274 His Legend lives on,
From Trump Tower on down
To the yuge place they call Mar-A-Lago...
The Media, they said,
Damn near shitted the bed
When the gales of November came early.

Posted by: Donna di deplorable ampersands&&&&and so there at February 20, 2017 09:23 PM (P8951)

275 >>When Trump was elected, Apatow said, he felt like "a person about to get
raped, but I didn't know how bad it would be." Now that Trump is
president, he added, "I feel like I've just been raped and I just don't
know if I'm going to get murdered."

Shut up and take it like a man.

Posted by: Steve Bannon at February 20, 2017 09:23 PM (/Nite)

276 When Obama said Trump didn't build that, the press wrote, "That Bitch Is Lyin'"

Posted by: t-bird at February 20, 2017 09:24 PM (NBHj5)

277 267 Trump is raping and murdering Judd Aptow with his mere presence



When Trump was elected, Apatow said, he felt like "a person about to get raped, but I didn't know how bad it would be." Now that Trump is president, he added, "I feel like I've just been raped and I just don't know if I'm going to get murdered."
Posted by: TheQuietMan at February 20, 2017 09:22 PM (auHtY)




Take it to the bank, Apatow.

Posted by: Ladylibertarian at February 20, 2017 09:24 PM (nQ10o)

278 Trump doesn't fear The Walking Dead.

Posted by: logprof at February 20, 2017 09:24 PM (GsAUU)

279 When Trump was elected, Apatow said, he felt like "a person about to get raped, but I didn't know how bad it would be." Now that Trump is president, he added, "I feel like I've just been raped and I just don't know if I'm going to get murdered."

---

The pussy is going to feel real stupid when he realizes that he's still vertical four years from now.

Posted by: SMFH at February 20, 2017 09:24 PM (CRotO)

280
Donald Trump - in before the Big Bang

Posted by: Krebs v Carnot: Epic Battle of the Cycling Stars (TM) at February 20, 2017 09:25 PM (v1g1+)

281 When Trump made a deal with Satan, Satan agreed that in the next life Trump could be in charge there, too. The lake of fire will be yuuge.

Posted by: mallfly of the Jungle at February 20, 2017 09:25 PM (b7fwp)

282 242 When an establishment hangs a sign that reads "Trump Slept Here," birth rates increase 20%.

Posted by: logprof at February 20, 2017 09:17 PM (GsAUU)

========================

Remember the "Do It For Denmark" ad campaign?

A similar "Do It For Trump" ad campaign would reverse Europe's declining birth rates ...

Posted by: ShainS at February 20, 2017 09:25 PM (mt8X9)

283 When Trump was elected, Apatow said, he felt like "a person about to get raped, but I didn't know how bad it would be." Now that Trump is president, he added, "I feel like I've just been raped and I just don't know if I'm going to get murdered."

Posted by: TheQuietMan at February 20, 2017 09:22 PM (auHtY) fnord (auHtY)


I know some of you are enjoying this, but I simply cannot enjoy a bunch of emotionally crippled eight-year-olds screaming like a stuck pig that they are *literally starving to death* because dinner is an hour late.

Posted by: Merovign, Dark Lord of the Sith at February 20, 2017 09:25 PM (wB8Tg)

284 This feller's gay? No way!

Posted by: josephistan at February 20, 2017 09:25 PM (ANIFC)

285 Ian Fleming once wrote a super-villain based on Trump named "Pussy Grab-more" but decided to change it to a sympathetic woman character due to the burgeoning feminism taking rise in the U.K. at that time.

Posted by: Han Yolo at February 20, 2017 09:26 PM (NcVHh)

286 And when Trump beheld the naked beauty of Melania he wept, for there were no more pussies to grab

Posted by: Alexander at February 20, 2017 09:26 PM (JO9+V)

287 Trump called Kim Jong-Un and asshole and his brother died.

Posted by: Hepcat at February 20, 2017 09:26 PM (5b+Sr)

288 IMGur w*rks... ___ur doesn't

it's a Pixy thing, which is why it makes no sense.

Posted by: redc1c4 at February 20, 2017 09:26 PM (JROHO)

289 Trump is who wrote the Book of Love.

Posted by: logprof at February 20, 2017 09:26 PM (GsAUU)

290 Where are the feminist cries against Apatow comparing a presidential election to rape?

Posted by: Sebastian Melmoth at February 20, 2017 09:26 PM (IDPbH)

291 Once lightning struck Donald Trump, lightning knew it was his bitch.

Posted by: Mr. Peebles at February 20, 2017 09:27 PM (oVJmc)

292 re 268: that's it! Kerry needs to run again in 2020.

Posted by: mallfly of the Jungle at February 20, 2017 09:27 PM (b7fwp)

293

Posted by: TheQuietMan at February 20, 2017 09:22 PM (auHtY) fnord (auHtY)

I know some of you are enjoying this, but I simply cannot enjoy a bunch of emotionally crippled eight-year-olds screaming like a stuck pig that they are *literally starving to death* because dinner is an hour late.
Posted by: Merovign, Dark Lord of the Sith at February 20, 2017 09:25 PM (wB8Tg)





Sit back and enjoy the unbearable deliciousness. There are new servings every day.

Posted by: Ladylibertarian at February 20, 2017 09:27 PM (nQ10o)

294 Trump beat HRC, the mass media, academia, Hollywood, and the entire cultural and political left, and did it on-time and under budget.

And he chugs the Water of Life because he likes the taste.

Posted by: Your Decidedly Devious Uncle Palpatine. Glory to Kekistan! No Longer Accepting Harem Applicants at February 20, 2017 09:27 PM (lutOX)

295 Trump made Lionel Richie stop saying "Parti', karamu', fiesta, forever"

Posted by: Batterup at February 20, 2017 09:27 PM (mtGE/)

296 Donald Trump painted the Mona Lisa - he describes doing so in Art of the Deal.

On the painting's mistaken attribution, he writes "Lyin Leo couldn't even paint by numbers. Had to write his diary using a mirror because he had no friends. Sad!"

Posted by: broseidon on even newer magic glowy rectangle at February 20, 2017 09:27 PM (TneZq)

297 Donald Trump catches a thousand Muskies with one cast.

Posted by: teej at February 20, 2017 09:27 PM (mzTVj)

298 289 Trump is who wrote the Book of Love.
Posted by: logprof at February 20, 2017 09:26 PM (GsAUU)

He put the ram in the tam-a-lam-a-ding-dong. And the ram-a-lam-a-ding-dong thanked him.

Posted by: josephistan at February 20, 2017 09:27 PM (ANIFC)

299 Apatow wanks to Twilight fanfic.

Posted by: Mr. Peebles at February 20, 2017 09:28 PM (oVJmc)

300 So this guy thinks Pence is the evil gay hater, yet he wants Trump impeached. Uh-huh.

Posted by: josephistan at February 20, 2017 09:28 PM (ANIFC)

301 When Trump's yacht requests that a light house yield right-of-way, it does.

Posted by: Bacon Jeff at February 20, 2017 09:28 PM (VSenK)

302 Judd Apatow buys the Vaseline.

Posted by: Kodos the Executioner at February 20, 2017 09:28 PM (J8/9G)

303 A similar "Do It For Trump" ad campaign would reverse Europe's declining birth rates ...

On second thought, let Donald do it.

Posted by: t-bird at February 20, 2017 09:28 PM (/cksx)

304 Someone told Trump "You can't get there from here."

Trump bought There anyway.

Posted by: logprof at February 20, 2017 09:29 PM (GsAUU)

305 199 MJ is a friend and an old timey AoS commenter. I gave him openblogger keys last week.

He's kind of a dick, you should probably rough him up a little.
Posted by: lauraw at February 20, 2017 09:05 PM (D+nQH)

Please have MJ e-mail me. I would like a word with him.
Posted by: OregonMuse, deplorable since 2004 at February 20, 2017 09:10 PM (KW1qk)



Oregon(NotA)Muse(d) by thread stomping.

Posted by: buzzion at February 20, 2017 09:29 PM (z/Ubi)

306 Since Trump was elected Bob Dole says "Bob Dole doesn't need viagra anymore"

Posted by: Batterup at February 20, 2017 09:29 PM (mtGE/)

307 Where are the feminist cries against Apatow comparing a presidential election to rape?

Posted by: Sebastian Melmoth at February 20, 2017 09:26 PM (IDPbH) fnord (IDPbH)


1996.

Posted by: Merovign, Dark Lord of the Sith at February 20, 2017 09:29 PM (wB8Tg)

308 Trump defeated an entire division of North Koreans armed with a rock and a scowl. He never used the rock.

Posted by: Lemmiwinks and his flaming boner of winning at February 20, 2017 09:29 PM (18h+i)

309 Trump won it for me. And I recovered!

Posted by: The Gipper at February 20, 2017 09:29 PM (JO9+V)

310 Apatow sleeps in the wet spot. Like the bitch he is.

Posted by: Mr. Peebles at February 20, 2017 09:29 PM (oVJmc)

311
Trump has his cake and ate it too

Posted by: TheQuietMan at February 20, 2017 09:29 PM (auHtY)

312 Babe the Blue Ox left Paul Bunyan for Trump.

Posted by: Beartooth at February 20, 2017 09:30 PM (qIhPN)

313 Donald Trump heard about the earthquake that just wiped out 1 million in Mexico City!

He's sending 5 million replacements.

Posted by: The Onion at February 20, 2017 09:30 PM (PjWy4)

314 Trump refused the Godfather's offer. Then slapped him with his dick.

Posted by: WaitingForMartel at February 20, 2017 09:30 PM (cq/qc)

315 That guy talked like a fag and his shit was all retarded.

Posted by: Nigel West Dickens at February 20, 2017 09:30 PM (FqgrG)

316 do you think the idiots at Daily Kos would be having this much fun if Hillery won? Or would they still be barking for W Bush and Cheney to be tried for war crimes?

Posted by: mallfly of the Jungle at February 20, 2017 09:30 PM (b7fwp)

317 290 Where are the feminist cries against Apatow comparing a presidential election to rape?

Posted by: Sebastian Melmoth at February 20, 2017 09:26 PM (IDPbH)

===================

They've been wearing the "Bill Clinton gag appliance" since 1992 ..

Posted by: ShainS at February 20, 2017 09:31 PM (mt8X9)

318 Putin's mistresses lie back and pretend it's Trump.

Posted by: Your Decidedly Devious Uncle Palpatine. Glory to Kekistan! No Longer Accepting Harem Applicants at February 20, 2017 09:31 PM (Ni8Pt)

319 Trump penned the song, "You can't Hide Your Lyin' Eyes," to play while the press asks questions at briefings.

Posted by: Ladylibertarian at February 20, 2017 09:31 PM (nQ10o)

320 That Global Warming thing we used to have? Yeah, it was disturbing Donald's orchids.

Posted by: t-bird at February 20, 2017 09:31 PM (/cksx)

321 311
Trump has his cake and ate it too
Posted by: TheQuietMan at February 20, 2017 09:29 PM (auHtY)

Trump had his Kate and Edith too.

Posted by: Sebastian Melmoth at February 20, 2017 09:32 PM (IDPbH)

322 Trump made the Kessel Run in 6 parsecs!

Posted by: Count de Monet at February 20, 2017 09:32 PM (JO9+V)

323 Trump DID shoot first....

Posted by: Don Q. at February 20, 2017 09:32 PM (qf6WZ)

324 On second thought, let Donald do it.

Posted by: t-bird at February 20, 2017 09:28 PM (/cksx)

==================

LOL

Posted by: ShainS at February 20, 2017 09:32 PM (mt8X9)

325 313 Donald Trump heard about the earthquake that just wiped out 1 million in Mexico City!

He's sending 5 million replacements.
Posted by: The Onion at February 20, 2017 09:30 PM (PjWy4)



THREAD WINNER

Posted by: Ladylibertarian at February 20, 2017 09:32 PM (nQ10o)

326 Trump defeated an entire division of North Koreans armed with a rock and a scowl. He never used the rock.

Are you going to eat that?

Posted by: North Koreans at February 20, 2017 09:32 PM (/cksx)

327 Trump is Batman.

Posted by: mpfs in PA at February 20, 2017 09:33 PM (79p/O)

328 George Washington stuck his hand from the grave just to give Trump a thumbs-up.

Posted by: logprof at February 20, 2017 09:33 PM (GsAUU)

329 Chtulhu fondly refers to his friend Donald J. Trump as "That old bastard that doesn't like to give reach-arounds"

Posted by: Han Yolo at February 20, 2017 09:33 PM (NcVHh)

330 Trump beat up Clark Kent for his lunch money every damn day.

Posted by: Mr. Peebles at February 20, 2017 09:33 PM (oVJmc)

331 Donald Trump is the Pompatus of Love.

Posted by: OregonMuse, deplorable since 2004 at February 20, 2017 09:33 PM (KW1qk)

332
Donald Trump is goingvto buy up all copies of Stars Wars Episodes I, II and III and make George Lucas eat every one of them.

Posted by: Krebs v Carnot: Epic Battle of the Cycling Stars (TM) at February 20, 2017 09:34 PM (v1g1+)

333 in his second term, Trump will make the universe stop expanding. Or maybe Michael Moore, nearly the same thing.

Posted by: mallfly of the Jungle at February 20, 2017 09:34 PM (b7fwp)

334 Star Wars lore says there is ALWAYS a Sith Master, and an Apprentice...

Trump used a TV show to try to find an Apprentice...

Coincidence? I think not...

Posted by: Don Q. at February 20, 2017 09:34 PM (qf6WZ)

335 Trump did not even bother to dodge sniper fire in Bosnia.

Posted by: logprof at February 20, 2017 09:34 PM (GsAUU)

336 Trump carries a Galaxy Note 7 in his front pocket

Posted by: Batterup at February 20, 2017 09:34 PM (mtGE/)

337 As far as the chick-story, wtf does that have to do with anything?
---
just a random story from my time in a maintenance unit, nothing more. i thought you would have the background to appreciate it, and find as objectionable as many of the unit did.

here's another one: we were assigned as wheel vehicle support for a massive AT convoy from SoCal to Club Bob, in central CA.

our first truck died before we got to the Sepulveda Pass leading into The Valley... less than 15 miles from the Armory in Compton.

we then had them die all the way up the I-5 and Hwy 46...

most had clogged fuel filters, because the geniuses in that section never trained using both fuel tanks, preferring to just use the driver's side one, so that it would easier to refill at the end of drill.

thus the DF2 had sat in the tank for at least a year and, unexpectedly, grown algae. when they started drawing from that tank, it clogged the fuel filters.

it took us 3 days to get just our shit to Bob, before we could start getting everyone elses in.


Posted by: redc1c4 at February 20, 2017 09:34 PM (JROHO)

338 316 do you think the idiots at Daily Kos would be having this much fun if Hillery won? Or would they still be barking for W Bush and Cheney to be tried for war crimes?

Posted by: mallfly of the Jungle at February 20, 2017 09:30 PM (b7fwp)

==================

So true. The perpetually miserable who won't be perfectly miserable until we're all equal in misery ...

Posted by: ShainS at February 20, 2017 09:34 PM (mt8X9)

339 PDT visited the Lincoln Memorial. Abe got up and said "Sir, please, have a seat."

Posted by: Diogenes at February 20, 2017 09:35 PM (0tfLf)

340 For every five nuts squirrels find, they have to give Donald Trump one, just because he doesn't want those furry bastards to get complacent.

Posted by: Mr. Peebles at February 20, 2017 09:35 PM (oVJmc)

341 Trump wins the Amarillo Big Texan Steak Ranch's 72 oz Challenge everyday for lunch

Posted by: Count de Monet at February 20, 2017 09:35 PM (JO9+V)

342 294 Trump beat HRC, the mass media, academia, Hollywood, and the entire cultural and political left, and did it on-time and under budget.

And he chugs the Water of Life because he likes the taste.
Posted by: Your Decidedly Devious Uncle Palpatine. Glory to Kekistan! No Longer Accepting Harem Applicants at February 20, 2017 09:27 PM (lutOX)



THIS.

Posted by: Ladylibertarian at February 20, 2017 09:35 PM (nQ10o)

343 Trump bowled a 301 game.

Posted by: Tonypete at February 20, 2017 09:35 PM (tr2D7)

344 9. He whispered to Meghan McCain that he was going to grab her by the pussy, then shook her father's hand.




You owe me a new laptop, I swear!

Posted by: Miley, the Duchess at February 20, 2017 09:36 PM (tHwdc)

345 Donald Trump is going to buy up all copies of Stars Wars Episodes I, II and III and make George Lucas eat every one of them.

Oh, man, 2020 is a shoo-in if he does that!

Posted by: t-bird at February 20, 2017 09:36 PM (/cksx)

346 Trump has exactly enough cowbell

Posted by: Buzzsaw90 at February 20, 2017 09:36 PM (PqqkK)

347 PDT ate Scrooge McDuck for breakfast and had Daisy for lunch.

Posted by: freaked at February 20, 2017 09:37 PM (BO/km)

348 PDT plays Wack a Mole with Thor's hammer.

Posted by: Diogenes at February 20, 2017 09:37 PM (0tfLf)

349 318 Putin's mistresses lie back and pretend it's Trump.
Posted by: Your Decidedly Devious Uncle Palpatine. Glory to Kekistan! No Longer Accepting Harem Applicants at February 20, 2017 09:31 PM (Ni8Pt)

Putin in turn leans forward... and pretends it's Trump.

Posted by: Warai-otoko at February 20, 2017 09:37 PM (sK2fh)

350 Donald Trump WAS Richie Rich...

Posted by: Don Q. at February 20, 2017 09:37 PM (qf6WZ)

351 Just once I would love PDT to answer a press question with "I'm your huckleberry."

Posted by: mpfs in PA at February 20, 2017 09:38 PM (79p/O)

352 Trump is taller than Putin on horseback. All the presidential podiums used by the Barack the Odious were lengthened to accommodate Trump's stature. When the Dali Lama looses his poise, he reaches out to Trump for guidance.

Posted by: Locke Common at February 20, 2017 09:38 PM (XPkir)

353 Trump was looking at Travis Bickle.

Posted by: Tonypete at February 20, 2017 09:38 PM (tr2D7)

354 Trump took the red pill and the blue pill at the same time

Posted by: Batterup at February 20, 2017 09:38 PM (mtGE/)

355 When Donald Trump was a youngster, he once slapped his balls against a credenza in his father's home and 770 sq. miles of forest were laid to waste in Siberia along the Tunguska River.

Posted by: Fritz at February 20, 2017 09:39 PM (wmcUK)

356 318 Putin's mistresses lie back and pretend it's Trump.

---

fairs fair. I do too

Posted by: V Putin at February 20, 2017 09:39 PM (PqqkK)

357 Donald Trump does not know why the caged bird sings.

Posted by: Warai-otoko at February 20, 2017 09:39 PM (sK2fh)

358 Operation Overlord was named after Trump

Posted by: V Putin at February 20, 2017 09:40 PM (PqqkK)

359 351 Just once I would love PDT to answer a press question with "I'm your huckleberry."


THAT would be friggin' awesome!!!!

Posted by: Diogenes at February 20, 2017 09:40 PM (0tfLf)

360 351 Just once I would love PDT to answer a press question with "I'm your huckleberry."

Posted by: mpfs in PA at February 20, 2017 09:38 PM (79p/O)

====================

PDT issues an Executive Order mandating the 1993 Oscar for Best Supporting Actor be seized from Gene Hackman and given to Val Kilmer ...

Posted by: ShainS at February 20, 2017 09:40 PM (mt8X9)

361 On a business trip during the late 70's when the Rocky movies were popular, Donald Trump hired Burgess Meredith to accompany him to a European brothel during a marathon of sex just so he could say "CUT ME MICK"


You don't want to know where.

Posted by: Han Yolo at February 20, 2017 09:40 PM (NcVHh)

362 Interesting. I always think McMaster-Carr, which says something about me, too.
Posted by: t-bird at February 20, 2017 08:38 PM (eeTCA)


Hit someone with one of those books, they'll think they've been slapped down by Trump.

Posted by: Bill R. at February 20, 2017 09:41 PM (jKUeC)

363 Trump has a time machine.

How else did he know yesterday about the night before riots that didn't happen until the night after he made the remark.

He meant to say, "The riots that happen tomorrow night."

Posted by: Hap N. Stance at February 20, 2017 09:41 PM (Y+zKZ)

364
Trump always feels lucky, punk

Posted by: TheQuietMan at February 20, 2017 09:41 PM (auHtY)

365 Only Trump can build a bag big enough to hold his dick. And it could cure world hunger

Posted by: V Putin at February 20, 2017 09:41 PM (PqqkK)

366 The planet Venus quivers at the thought of Trump grabbing her by the mons.

Posted by: cicero Kaboom! kid at February 20, 2017 09:42 PM (uB+td)

367 What amazes me is the pure propaganda aspect of Breitbart these days. A few good writers over there but the spectrum of what's permitted on the front page is narrow. And so Milo is disappeared.

It's pure propaganda.

Posted by: JEM at February 20, 2017 09:42 PM (TppKb)

368 250 That woman actually claimed that Swedes don't yell.
Posted by: josephistan at February 20, 2017 09:18 PM (ANIFC)




I imagine the women might--while they're being raped.

Posted by: Ladylibertarian at February 20, 2017 09:42 PM (nQ10o)

369 Chuck Norris will not even mess with Trump's Staff...

Posted by: Don Q. at February 20, 2017 09:43 PM (qf6WZ)

370 Steiner doesn't come to Trump, Trump sends Steiner.

Posted by: Diogenes at February 20, 2017 09:43 PM (0tfLf)

371 Can someone do something about K-K-K-Ken in the Milo thread. Comment 581.

Posted by: buzzion at February 20, 2017 09:43 PM (z/Ubi)

372 When the SMOD came to kill the dinosuars, it saw Trump and said "I'll come back another time if that's ok with Mr. Trump"

Posted by: Brian at February 20, 2017 09:43 PM (Xni1r)

373 341 Trump wins the Amarillo Big Texan Steak Ranch's 72 oz Challenge everyday for lunch


Posted by: Count de Monet at February 20, 2017 09:35 PM (JO9+V)


Heh. My client actually won that and asked for another!

Posted by: cicero Kaboom! kid at February 20, 2017 09:43 PM (uB+td)

374 Trump knows what Seinfeld was about

Posted by: Batterup at February 20, 2017 09:44 PM (mtGE/)

375 Sorry red, trying to shake a cold I've had the past few days, and I'm just a wee bit cranky.

Fortunately, SYTs weren't an issue in my units (thank God).

Clogged filters...you poor bastards.

From what I heard, maintenance wasn't a very high priority in the 70s-early 80s.

Posted by: SMFH at February 20, 2017 09:44 PM (CRotO)

376 Donald Trump once punched a baby in the dick and that baby grew up to be Maddog Mattis.

Posted by: Fritz at February 20, 2017 09:44 PM (wmcUK)

377 Trump has a time machine.

How else did he know yesterday about the night before riots that didn't happen until the night after he made the remark.

He meant to say, "The riots that happen tomorrow night."

Posted by: Hap N. Stance at February 20, 2017 09:41 PM (Y+zKZ)

===

CAIR here wants you to know they are very concerned about how this weeks terror attacks will affect Muslim backlash.

Posted by: Flyboy at February 20, 2017 09:45 PM (bUjWk)

378 250 That woman actually claimed that Swedes don't yell.

---

Donald Trump can makes Swedish women yell...his name

Posted by: buzzsaw90 at February 20, 2017 09:45 PM (PqqkK)

379 IT'S FUNNY BECAUSE HE REALLY DID THIS STUFF

Posted by: BEN ROETHLISBERGER at February 20, 2017 09:46 PM (/wWB4)

380 376 Donald Trump once punched a baby in the dick and that baby grew up to be Maddog Mattis.
Posted by: Fritz at February 20, 2017 09:44 PM (wmcUK)

---

Threadwinner.

Posted by: SMFH at February 20, 2017 09:46 PM (CRotO)

381 Trump rules!

Trump's rules of engagement: Just win, baby!

Posted by: Locke Common at February 20, 2017 09:47 PM (XPkir)

382 There's a lady who's sure
all that glitters is gold
and she can't buy a stairway to heaven

because trump already made a deal for it

Posted by: buzzsaw90 at February 20, 2017 09:47 PM (PqqkK)

383 The First rule of Trump Club... is he CAN talk about it,,,

Posted by: Don Q. at February 20, 2017 09:47 PM (qf6WZ)

384 Trump's rules of engagement: Just win, baby!

---

I concur.

Posted by: Zombie Al Davis at February 20, 2017 09:47 PM (CRotO)

385 Viagra, Cialis, and Trojan have all tried to license the Trump name.

Posted by: Mike Hammer, etc., etc. at February 20, 2017 09:48 PM (/ZEVC)

386 Lightning didn't send McFly back to 1985, Trump did.

Posted by: Brian at February 20, 2017 09:48 PM (Xni1r)

387 During Trump Staff meetings, all the women spontaneously lactate. Yes, and McCain too.

Posted by: buzzsaw90 at February 20, 2017 09:48 PM (PqqkK)

388 Donald Trump is the sole human being allowed back into Eden, and that's because he's management.

Posted by: Brother Cavil, at Provisional Basestar at February 20, 2017 09:49 PM (66CWr)

389 Trump can explain Twin Peaks.

Posted by: Your Decidedly Devious Uncle Palpatine. Glory to Kekistan! No Longer Accepting Harem Applicants at February 20, 2017 09:49 PM (Ni8Pt)

390 And he chugs the Water of Life because he likes the taste.
Posted by: Your Decidedly Devious Uncle Palpatine. Glory to Kekistan! No Longer Accepting Harem Applicants at February 20, 2017 09:27 PM (lutOX)

He bought the manufacturing and labeling rights. Now it's the Water of Trump

Posted by: Insomniac at February 20, 2017 09:49 PM (0mRoj)

391 387 During Trump Staff meetings, all the women spontaneously lactate. Yes, and McCain too.
Posted by: buzzsaw90 at February 20, 2017 09:48 PM (PqqkK)

---

Ewww.

McCain's moobs leaking...

Posted by: SMFH at February 20, 2017 09:50 PM (CRotO)

392 389 Trump can explain Twin Peaks.

---

OK, now we're reaching

Posted by: buzzsaw90 at February 20, 2017 09:50 PM (PqqkK)

Posted by: mallfly of the Jungle at February 20, 2017 09:50 PM (b7fwp)

394 Trump gave a little Burmese girl a ruby the size of a tangerine.

Posted by: Insomniac at February 20, 2017 09:51 PM (0mRoj)

395 That time they waterboarded Trump,

he just couldn't stop giggling. And his hair was Perfect

Posted by: buzzsaw90 at February 20, 2017 09:51 PM (PqqkK)

396 It's rumored that the Secret Service name for Trump is 'Dreadnaught'.

Posted by: Mike Hammer, etc., etc. at February 20, 2017 09:52 PM (/ZEVC)

397 The Reaper fears Trump.

Posted by: logprof at February 20, 2017 09:52 PM (GsAUU)

398 389 Trump can explain Twin Peaks.
Posted by: Your Decidedly Devious Uncle Palpatine. Glory to Kekistan! No Longer Accepting Harem Applicants at February 20, 2017 09:49 PM (Ni8Pt)

Trump ate all Bob's garmonbozia, then Bob asked if he wanted seconds.

Posted by: Insomniac at February 20, 2017 09:52 PM (0mRoj)

399 396 It's rumored that the Secret Service name for Trump is 'Dreadnaught'.
Posted by: Mike Hammer, etc., etc. at February 20, 2017 09:52 PM (/ZEVC)

---

That would be so cool if true.

Posted by: SMFH at February 20, 2017 09:52 PM (CRotO)

400 394. Noice!

Posted by: Your Decidedly Devious Uncle Palpatine. Glory to Kekistan! No Longer Accepting Harem Applicants at February 20, 2017 09:52 PM (Ni8Pt)

401 Trump's armpits smell like napalm in the morning

Posted by: buzzsaw90 at February 20, 2017 09:53 PM (PqqkK)

402 371 Can someone do something about K-K-K-Ken in the Milo thread. Comment 581.
Posted by: buzzion at February 20, 2017 09:43 PM (z/Ubi)



Disturbing. Is he a regular here?

Posted by: Ladylibertarian at February 20, 2017 09:53 PM (nQ10o)

403 When Trump was born they had to change the Plastibell to steel

Posted by: Batterup at February 20, 2017 09:53 PM (mtGE/)

404 We need to propagate this 2 min video of Bill Clinton's SOTU address where he describes Trump's immigration plan perfectly:
https://www.c-span.org/video/?c4351026/clinton-1995-immigration-sotu

Posted by: David at February 20, 2017 09:53 PM (Gq8qV)

405 nood presidents

Posted by: SMFH at February 20, 2017 09:53 PM (CRotO)

406 re 395: and they ran out of water

Posted by: mallfly of the Jungle at February 20, 2017 09:53 PM (b7fwp)

407 When Trump was born the doctor didn't cut the cord because Trump had already gnawed through it

Posted by: Batterup at February 20, 2017 09:54 PM (mtGE/)

408
Georgia Lass, on 'Dead Like Me', once tried to reap Trump's soul, and he wouldn't let her have it; said 'too much work to do. I am not leaving until America is Great Again.'

Posted by: Hap N. Stance at February 20, 2017 09:54 PM (Y+zKZ)

409 When Trump swims in the Amazon River, the Candiru go find some Piranha to annoy.

Posted by: Count de Monet at February 20, 2017 09:54 PM (JO9+V)

410 OTN is up. I guess we can continue the fun there.

Posted by: mallfly of the Jungle at February 20, 2017 09:55 PM (b7fwp)

411 398. Very nice.

Check out Trump Saltmining, Inc by Sargon of Akkad - it's glorious:

https://youtu.be/Ep-YbqfkuzM

Posted by: Your Decidedly Devious Uncle Palpatine. Glory to Kekistan! No Longer Accepting Harem Applicants at February 20, 2017 09:55 PM (Ni8Pt)

412 When Trumps grandson was born the Mohel said "oy, I am going to need a laser for that one"

Posted by: Batterup at February 20, 2017 09:55 PM (mtGE/)

413 For me personally, the jury's still out on 24: Legacy, but one point in its favor is that they're at least having Muslim bad guys again.

Posted by: logprof at February 20, 2017 09:55 PM (GsAUU)

414 Donald Trump has offered to stop the rain for John Fogerty.

Posted by: t-bird at February 20, 2017 09:57 PM (ZIFyZ)

415 and I'm just a wee bit cranky.

From what I heard, maintenance wasn't a very high priority in the 70s-early 80s.
---
so, same old you?

this was in the 90's. it wasn't so much a priority issue as it was people being lazy and leadershit letting them be.

many of the senior people were FFT's that w*rked at the bis shop in Long Beach (DS/GS) or for the local OMS (light repairs) and so they didn't want any w*rk done our fleet during drill, just to protect their daytime j*b.

the fuel thing was because they were too lazy to have to top off both tanks each month. OMG, i'd have to move the truck to fuel the other side if i used both tanks.

idiots

Posted by: redc1c4 at February 20, 2017 09:57 PM (JROHO)

416 Trump shot an 18 at Augusta

Posted by: Lemmiwinks and his flaming boner of winning at February 20, 2017 09:58 PM (18h+i)

417 " MJ is a friend and an old timey AoS commenter. I gave him openblogger keys last week.
He's kind of a dick, you should probably rough him up a little.
"

But, he's still BANNED, and you can't fix that, can you little missy?

Posted by: ChrisP at February 20, 2017 10:02 PM (83BgE)

418 When Donald Trump walked into the White House,, he said " What a dump."

He then boarded Air Force One and said " This to."

Posted by: WisRich at February 20, 2017 10:05 PM (5c3Fr)

419 Donald Trump is the irresistible force and the immovable object.

Posted by: 2009Refugee at February 20, 2017 10:06 PM (JyFLk)

420 Trump got the Ad Council to run commercials about shutting down the Ad Council.



Oh god, please let it be true

Posted by: Jeanne del Norte blanco grande at February 20, 2017 10:09 PM (B9dAp)

421 The Ark of the Covenant?
Trump has two.

Posted by: Hamilton at February 20, 2017 10:11 PM (sCjDS)

422 New IP test

Posted by: Flyboy at February 20, 2017 10:18 PM (JKGcx)

423 I like how this President makes his enemies eat themselves

Posted by: DeplorePaul at February 20, 2017 10:29 PM (5vn7I)

424 I love this site - #8

Posted by: matthewdean at February 20, 2017 10:37 PM (H+Beu)

425 Trump is also a rare Dungeons and Dragons character, but you need a 69-sided die to move him.

Posted by: braininahat at February 20, 2017 10:40 PM (7KoHa)

426 Trump bet Kim Jong-un that he could beat him in golf. Trump played using no golf clubs, just his dick. After losing the bet, Kim had to kill his half-brother.

Posted by: Jolo at February 20, 2017 11:50 PM (HoCMU)

427 Donald Trump can make F-35 fly!

Posted by: New York Sentry at February 21, 2017 03:25 AM (H+EnG)

428 Some people wear Superman pajamas. Superman wears Donald Trump pajamas.

When the boogeyman goes to sleep, he checks his closet for Donald Trump.

They once made a Donald Trunp toilet paper, but it wouldn't take shit from anybody.

http://www.chucknorrisjokes.net/

Posted by: MichaelT at February 21, 2017 08:32 AM (JeAp+)

429 Fifth Beatle; Neil Innes of Bonzo Dog Band and
The Rutles. He wrote better songs than any of those
others.

Posted by: Glenn John at February 21, 2017 12:42 PM (LilNs)

430 BTW Neil Innes was in Magical Mystery Tour, and
supposedly P McCartney helped with one of Bonzo
Dog B. songs "I'm the Urban Spaceman".

Posted by: Glenn John at February 21, 2017 12:44 PM (LilNs)

431 Trump knows exactly how many licks it takes to get to the center of a Tootsie Pop.

Posted by: julio at February 23, 2017 12:16 AM (vpHbu)

432 John Galt went Trump.

Posted by: GregMan at February 23, 2017 11:47 AM (xwbnS)

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