Fat-Positive Comedienne Amy Schumer Shames Paying Customers Who Didn't Think She Was Funny

By the way, when I say she's "Fat-Positive," I mean, of course, that she got her tests back from the lab, and they show her positive for being fat.

Heavyset, unfunny serial joke plagiarist Amy Schumer alienated a crowd in Tampa, Florida, by telling a series of jokes about Trump that she in all likelihood stole from last night's Full Frontal With Samantha Bee.

Yeah, the jokes were that lame. She called Trump something like a "orange, sexual-assaulting, fake-college-starting monster."

"She's the funniest person on the planet in all of the history of physical reality! She's like the Female Ghostbusters, only with a Tumblr account and a Subway Sandwich Saver Card!"
-- idiots at Vox, probably

But it wasn't just jokes about Trump. This Anger Eater, who is often a Sadness Eater, a Happy Eater, or a Not Feeling Any Particular Emotion But Just Kind of Chill in a Meh Sort of Way Eater, invited a Trump supporter on stage and ranked out on him personally.

Anyway, people booed and 200 people walked on on her.

I don't know what those people were doing in the crowd. Don't they know this plus-sized plagiarist's schtick? I can only imagine that something like this happened: The show didn't sell out, so they got desperate and began promoting the show through venues where they'd reach people outside the Amy Schumer Demographic, maybe offering discounted tickets.

So anyway, I imagine a part of the crowd wasn't familiar with the jowly joke-thief's overweight oevure.

The funny thing is, this husky harridan of a Social Justice Warrior is now playing the free speech card on those who failed to find her adorable.

She wrote this open letter to Tampa:

"Dearest Tampa, I'm sorry you didn't want me, a comedian who talks about what she believes in, to mention the biggest thing going on in our country right now," she said. "How could I think it was OK to spend five minutes having a peaceful conversation with someone with different views?"

Oh I get it -- it's funny because sarcasm.

Again, this thick-waisted thief, this polychinned plagiarist is constantly patrolling other people for Speechcrimes -- in fact, during the show, she attempted to group-shame her critics by instructing her minions to point at the people booing her, to shame them.

Now she's claiming that she's all into free speech -- but only when it's speech emanating, like a Taco Bell fart, from her own poorly-shaped mouth.

The balls on this one.

The big, pendulous, fat-man-with-drooping-spunkeggs balls.

Posted by: Ace at 03:10 PM




Comments

(Jump to bottom of page)

1 Oh do I need my eyes checked. I read that first line as "...she got her teats back from the lab..."

Gives that first paragraph a whole different meaning.

Posted by: moon over vermont at October 19, 2016 03:10 PM (kUmUV)

2 "having a peaceful conversation"

Something tells me her fatness was the only one with a microphone. That how she sees a "conversation".

Posted by: Dang at October 19, 2016 03:10 PM (8b+oT)

3 son of a gun

Posted by: Vertov at October 19, 2016 03:10 PM (GMeOm)

4 "How could I think it was OK to spend five minutes having a peaceful conversation with someone with different views?"

Conversations typically involve both parties talking, Amy. What you were doing was lecturing.

Posted by: joe, living dangerously at October 19, 2016 03:11 PM (34w2E)

5 You know what nobody in our useless media tells us? How big was the crowd. 200 people walking out is a sizable number, but it is more significant if the total size of the audience was 600 people as opposed to 20,000 people.

BTW, it boggles the mind that there are even 200 people who would pay money to go watch this untalented hack.

Posted by: Anon Y. Mous at October 19, 2016 03:11 PM (R+30W)

6 Never heard of a comedian kicking People out for booing and heckling UNLESS it is somebody completely intoxicated.

Unbelievable that comedians have become so soft that they have to kick people out that find them unfunny.

Posted by: Pepe, The Irredeemable at October 19, 2016 03:12 PM (Zvj7s)

7 Dear Amy,
The amateurish, 13 year-old country bumpkin style makeup isn't making your beady little eyes look bigger. Losing about a third of you body mass would maybe keep the fat from encroaching around your eye sockets. MAYBE.

Posted by: Dang at October 19, 2016 03:13 PM (8b+oT)

8 5 You know what nobody in our useless media tells us? How big was the crowd. 200 people walking out is a sizable number, but it is more significant if the total size of the audience was 600 people as opposed to 20,000 people.

BTW, it boggles the mind that there are even 200 people who would pay money to go watch this untalented hack.

Posted by: Anon Y. Mous at October 19, 2016 03:11 PM (R+30W)

The size of the crowd doesn't mean anything when judging popular opinion!

Posted by: Poll Troll Idiot at October 19, 2016 03:13 PM (34w2E)

9 I don't know what those people were doing in the crowd. Don't they know this plus-sized plagiarist's schtick?

Exactly. As another moron said earlier today, we need to stop giving money to people who hate us.

Posted by: OregonMuse at October 19, 2016 03:14 PM (rWDXX)

10 I thought the first line the funniest.

Overall, well done Ace.

Posted by: Dack Thrombosis at October 19, 2016 03:14 PM (4ErVI)

11 "Again, this thick-waisted thief, this polychinned plagiarist"

Ace, this is truly beautiful.

Posted by: JPS at October 19, 2016 03:15 PM (k06u+)

12 Why are Jim Norton and Opie always white knighting for this back. Anthony wouldn't do it.

This is disappointing. I fear Jim and Opie have sold their souls.

Posted by: Pepe, The Irredeemable at October 19, 2016 03:15 PM (Zvj7s)

13
when I say she's "Fat-Positive," I mean, of course, that she got her tests back from the lab, and they show her positive for being fat.




Amy Schumer was so angry she was practically lipid with rage....

Posted by: Laurie David's Cervix at October 19, 2016 03:15 PM (kdS6q)

14 This is what I'm talking about

Posted by: Phone of kari which, deplorably, features a headphone jack at October 19, 2016 03:15 PM (IdP+K)

15 I don't know what those people were doing in the crowd. Don't they know this plus-sized plagiarist's schtick?


Why go see several comedians when you can just see Amy Schumer do a bunch of different comedians acts. Save some money, you know?

Posted by: Dang at October 19, 2016 03:15 PM (8b+oT)

16 "lipid with rage"

Laurie David's Cervix, I really hate puns, but for yours I'll make an exception.

Posted by: JPS at October 19, 2016 03:16 PM (k06u+)

17 Amy works really hard at keeping her skin taut. Never a wrinkle.

Posted by: Fritz at October 19, 2016 03:16 PM (2Mnv1)

18 Shouldn't the introduction read "Dear America", Tampa seems a little too localized for an entire nation who has more or less ignored her big money flop...Ghostbitches...

Posted by: The Mouse that Roared at October 19, 2016 03:16 PM (7N6ox)

19 Whiny little self- pitying bitch, isn't she?

Posted by: tubal at October 19, 2016 03:16 PM (d6TTt)

20 I see Amy's career as one of the casualties in the coming shitstorm.

Posted by: tu3031 at October 19, 2016 03:16 PM (qJhUV)

21 >> Gives that first paragraph a whole different
>> meaning.

I was working in the lab, late one night...

Posted by: JEM at October 19, 2016 03:17 PM (TppKb)

22 this husky harridan of a Social Justice Warrior

----------

Holy body-mass index! You sound like the narrator in the old Batman show, describing one of the Caped Crusader's foes.

Posted by: josephistan at October 19, 2016 03:17 PM (7HtZB)

23 Following Monmouth's lead, latest Quinnipiac poll (with +7 for Clinton) asks 3 questions about Trump's "groping".

3 out of 11, with the first of three giving a detailed description the purported behaviour.

That's beyond polling malpractice. That's the mother of all push polls.

Posted by: Charles at October 19, 2016 03:17 PM (Ts44+)

24 I wish I had a dollar for every time I didn't laugh at Amy Schumer.

Posted by: Dang at October 19, 2016 03:17 PM (8b+oT)

25 I'm picking up a hint of "I don't particularly care for Amy Schumer" from Ace in this post.

It's subtle but if you read between the lines you just can detect it.

Posted by: Suppressed Flasher at October 19, 2016 03:17 PM (X+nFp)

26 Its not a 'Conversation' when you have a microphone, and others do not...

Its a LECTURE.

Why should a paying customer, sit through an abusive LECTURE?

And how can this be about Free Speech, when she is getting PAID to do it?

Posted by: Don Deplorable at October 19, 2016 03:17 PM (qf6WZ)

27 OMG ace! The whole post....pure poetry.

Posted by: Tami...Powering through being a depolorable at October 19, 2016 03:18 PM (Enq6K)

28 Try the veal! (Because she ate all the chicken wings.)

Posted by: Boulder terlit hobo at October 19, 2016 03:18 PM (eXcte)

29 17 Amy works really hard at keeping her skin taut. Never a wrinkle.
Posted by: Fritz at October 19, 2016 03:16 PM (2Mnv1)

Big girl? Roomy in the hips?

Posted by: Dr. Hannibal Lecter at October 19, 2016 03:18 PM (7HtZB)

30 The beer goggles...
They do NOTHING!!

Posted by: Roland THTG at October 19, 2016 03:18 PM (QM5S2)

31
Ace, you had me at "ovoid" for Ruth Chris Cilizza.

Wow!

Posted by: J.J. Sefton at October 19, 2016 03:18 PM (UBQ2A)

32 Has she left town yet??????????

Posted by: Everybody Down At The Golden Corral On Hillsborough Street at October 19, 2016 03:18 PM (nd1zx)

33 this husky harridan of a Social Justice Warrior

See, this is why I keep coming back to the HQ.

Posted by: joncelli, Longbow Afficianado and Phalangist at October 19, 2016 03:18 PM (RD7QR)

34 Nothing says "daring" and "transgressive" quite like a Hollyweird liberal publicly mocking a Trump supporter.

I mean, wow, that's *never* been done. She's blazing new trails into entirely uncharted comedic territory here. We were privileged to witness as History was happening.

Posted by: torquewrench at October 19, 2016 03:19 PM (noWW6)

35 Jeesuz, thank God this bitch came along. Looks like I'm off the fucking hook.

Posted by: Margaret Cho at October 19, 2016 03:19 PM (qJhUV)

36 23 Following Monmouth's lead, latest Quinnipiac poll (with +7 for Clinton) asks 3 questions about Trump's "groping".

3 out of 11, with the first of three giving a detailed description the purported behaviour.

That's beyond polling malpractice. That's the mother of all push polls.

Posted by: Charles at October 19, 2016 03:17 PM (Ts44+)

They should be renamed "grope polls"

Posted by: josephistan at October 19, 2016 03:19 PM (7HtZB)

37 Meanwhile the most accurate pollster of last three elections shows Trump gaining and now in the lead.

That's a pack of three now. With Rass and LAT.

The pack will get larger as the accountability period approaches.

Trump landslide.

Charles with a "C"

Posted by: Charles at October 19, 2016 03:19 PM (Ts44+)

38 She thanked the 8400 people that stayed, FWIW.
I have despised her since I rirst saw her "comedy" bit a couple years back.

I suspect a good bit of the crowd was just guys going with their GFs or dates, looking to score later that evening. Apparently, 200 of them decided jerking off was better than sitting through 90 minutes of that pile of bile.

Posted by: Chi at October 19, 2016 03:19 PM (WutqB)

39
Amy Schumer in "Day of the Lipids."

Posted by: J.J. Sefton at October 19, 2016 03:19 PM (UBQ2A)

40 There's a push poll, and then there's rubbing the poll up and down the seat of your pants when you're stuck in an elevator with the pollster

Posted by: Boulder terlit hobo at October 19, 2016 03:19 PM (eXcte)

41 This is very similar to Lena Dunham saying to someone who had in all honesty questioned Dunham's public persona, by saying to her own fan:

"If you don't think I'm attractive, then something is wrong with you."

The person (and the nation) was taken aback, because we had thought up until that point that of course Lena Dunham was self-aware that she was an ugly fat girl, and that her "act" was about someone who still entertains notions that she was passable. And her own self-ignorance is what made her funny.

But no. It turns out that it WASN'T an act, that Lena Dunham actually thinks she's attractive -- so much so, that she will SHAME HER OWN FANS for not joining in her delusion.

And now Amy Shumer is doing the same thing -- shaming her own fans for not laughing at/with her in the correct manner.

Posted by: zombie at October 19, 2016 03:20 PM (jBuUi)

42 The big, pendulous, fat-man-with-drooping-spunkeggs balls.


-------------

*wipes away tear*

Posted by: Soona at October 19, 2016 03:20 PM (Fmupd)

43 As to why people would go to see her.... not knowing what she is really like?

They know her much cleaner TV persona.... most comedians are WAY different live, than on TV.

Posted by: Don Deplorable at October 19, 2016 03:20 PM (qf6WZ)

44 She should have offered them BJ's to laugh at her anti-Trump jokes.

Posted by: Ripley at October 19, 2016 03:20 PM (1BQGO)

45 I'd hunch it.

Posted by: Bill Clinton at October 19, 2016 03:20 PM (XoldI)

46 Again, this thick-waisted thief,

Whoa, whoa. Thievery is an ancient and noble art. What this wench does is not thievery but plagiarism and IP fraud.

If I have something-- a stapler, say, or a wad of cash, or a nice watch-- I don't claim I invented it or designed it or built it or anything. I just say it's mine, and people accept that, and it's true.

But the words and thoughts (such as they are) emanating from her pie-hole? She's passing them off as her original mindthoughts, and they're not.

"Thick-waisted" is okay, though.

Big difference. Yuge.

Posted by: Lance McCormick at October 19, 2016 03:21 PM (u0s1P)

47 Better to be shamed by her, ( I doubt she could shame me ) than to see her nude

Posted by: Skip at October 19, 2016 03:21 PM (sWbjH)

48 I am holding out until she offers a blow job and a Bud Light...

Posted by: The Mouse that Roared at October 19, 2016 03:21 PM (7N6ox)

49 12 - Opie left Norton a few weeks ago for his own show. The day or so after Norton went viral by having Nancy Grace walk out on his show.

Posted by: Brian in New Orleans at October 19, 2016 03:21 PM (UBzPO)

50 Roomy in the hips? My kinda gal.

Posted by: Buffalo Bill at October 19, 2016 03:21 PM (JO9+V)

51 And now Amy Shumer is doing the same thing -- shaming her own fans for not laughing at/with her in the correct manner.



Sorry sugartits. I'm paying to laugh. If'n it's not funny, I'm not laughing.

Posted by: rickb223 at October 19, 2016 03:21 PM (CJOtA)

52 "Heavyset, unfunny serial joke plagiarist Amy Schumer"
..........

you forgot fugly

Posted by: Igor - the Hunchmaster at October 19, 2016 03:22 PM (HgMAr)

53 Following Monmouth's lead, latest Quinnipiac poll (with +7 for Clinton) asks 3 questions about Trump's "groping".



3 out of 11, with the first of three giving a detailed description the purported behaviour.



That's beyond polling malpractice. That's the mother of all push polls.





Posted by: Charles at October 19, 2016 03:17 PM (Ts44+)

That's a hunching poll.

Posted by: Tami...Powering through being a depolorable at October 19, 2016 03:22 PM (Enq6K)

54 Read Ace's word pictures in a Robin Leach voice. Perfect!

Posted by: Zombie Robbo the Llamabutcher at October 19, 2016 03:22 PM (i6uld)

55 Is this the event where Madonna was offering knobbers for Clinton votes?


Posted by: Village Idiot's Apprentice at October 19, 2016 03:22 PM (J+eG2)

56 42 The big, pendulous, fat-man-with-drooping-spunkeggs balls.

-------------
*wipes away tear*
Posted by: Soona at October 19, 2016 03:20 PM (Fmupd)


Reminds me of a Don Logan (Ben Kingsley) Cockney insult in "Sexy Beast."

"You great 'onkin, jam-rag spunk-bubble!"


Posted by: J.J. Sefton at October 19, 2016 03:22 PM (UBQ2A)

57 Don't blame Amy - none of her act is original material.

Posted by: SMOD Keeper at October 19, 2016 03:22 PM (onq2p)

58 Give me some money so we can have a conversation. Give me the microphone. Now SHUT UP!!!

Posted by: Amy Schumer at October 19, 2016 03:22 PM (8b+oT)

59

Remind me to never piss you off. Ace!!


I'm kinda wondering if the 200 who left weren't all that fervent in their support for Trump, maybe even only leaning Trump or still a bit Trump-curious, and dearest, sweetest Amy pushed them over the edge.

The masks have slipped --- and a lot more people are seeing the Left's ugliness that have ever before.

Trump = "They Live" Sunglasses!!!

Posted by: Lizzy at October 19, 2016 03:23 PM (NOIQH)

60
Stump in a skirt... with stumpy legs.

Body-positive -- yo!

Posted by: Krebs v Carnot: Epic Battle of the Cycling Stars (TM) at October 19, 2016 03:23 PM (BK3ZS)

61 This is very similar to Lena Dunham saying to someone who had in all
honesty questioned Dunham's public persona, by saying to her own fan:



"If you don't think I'm attractive, then something is wrong with you."

But it's definitely not my eyesight...

Posted by: tu3031 at October 19, 2016 03:23 PM (qJhUV)

62 *Golf clap*

Posted by: Nigel West Dickens at October 19, 2016 03:23 PM (FqgrG)

63 They know her much cleaner TV persona.... most comedians are WAY different live, than on TV.



Redd Foxx.

Posted by: rickb223 at October 19, 2016 03:23 PM (CJOtA)

64
Also, shares DNA with Chuck Schumer.

'nuff said.

Posted by: J.J. Sefton at October 19, 2016 03:23 PM (UBQ2A)

65 32 Has she left town yet??????????

And when she leaves town, she really leaves town!

Posted by: John P. Squibob at October 19, 2016 03:23 PM (rJOC2)

66 You couldn't pay me to go see live comedy right now. It's all clapter, from the floor up.

"Republicans are so dumb. I hate Republicans; 'cus they're dumb."

Posted by: Chupacabra at October 19, 2016 03:23 PM (CYqDc)

67 "Dearest Tampa, I'm sorry you didn't want me, a comedian who talks about what she believes in, to mention the biggest thing going on in our country right now,"

What if what you talk about, that you believe in, is stupid and pernicious, and you are unwilling to accept correction or even have an honest discussion about that?

"How could I think it was OK to spend five minutes having a peaceful conversation with someone with different views?"

If you are just mocking them, if you take advantage of their good manners because they are conservative, does that really count as "peaceful conversation"? You were trying to shut down the conversation, because you are an assclown and a buffoon, like Sotomayor. You can't respond in an intelligent, principled way.

Posted by: Steve and Cold Bear at October 19, 2016 03:23 PM (iFgwk)

68 I tried to watch her movie, "Trainwreck". The movie was unwatchable. Why does Hollywood think unlikable, unsympathetic characters are watchable? It was terrible.

Posted by: Me at October 19, 2016 03:24 PM (tuyQX)

69 57 Don't blame Amy - none of her act is original material.
Posted by: SMOD Keeper at October 19, 2016 03:22 PM (onq2p)


She also coordinated ahead of time with Robert Creamer.

Posted by: J.J. Sefton at October 19, 2016 03:24 PM (UBQ2A)

70 This was a big-boned performance, for sure, by the Fat One.

Posted by: MTF at October 19, 2016 03:24 PM (/m8T6)

71 The only time people ever paid a comedian to insult them was when going to see Don Rickles and everyone in there knew it was schtick.

Posted by: alexthechick - Herr Doctress Darth Fagette at October 19, 2016 03:24 PM (mf5HN)

72 Today has been a veritable treasure trove of exemplars of progressive values:

Madonna soliciting prostitution by offering blowjobs to those who vote for Hillary; Michael Moore applauding murder when it's committed by Hillary 'Badass' Clinton, Podesta and everyone he's been conspiring with to commit election fraud, all of the Hillary operatives bragging about having actually committed election fraud and conspired to commit violence and intimidation, the media fawning all over all of these criminal fucks, and now Funky Amy.

We literally do. not. deserve. these people in our midst.

Posted by: Mr Macca Bean (Make deplorable adorable again!) at October 19, 2016 03:25 PM (4ng05)

73 Her mouth just kind of floats in the middle of her face, not held up by anything. Like Mr. Incredible.

Posted by: BourbonChicken at October 19, 2016 03:25 PM (VdICR)

74 "The masks have slipped --- and a lot more people are seeing the Left's ugliness that have ever before. "

several of them were interviewed upon leaving early.

And some of them said that they were not Trump supporters, but were so put off by her aggressive politics during what was to be a comedy routine that they just preferred to leave.

Posted by: Village Idiot's Apprentice at October 19, 2016 03:25 PM (J+eG2)

75 I'll tell ya, no respect! No respect at all!!

Posted by: Amy Schumer at October 19, 2016 03:25 PM (qJhUV)

76 Anyone else catch the thing that happened about a month ago, where some guy on some website did an interview with Schumer, then tweeted a link to it saying something like "Spent the night with Amy Schumer (not the first guy to say that!)".

And of course, Schumer - despite the fact that half her act is talking about how she has sex with lots of guys - got offended that he was calling her a slut and sicced a twitter mob on him and he was forced to apologize.

Posted by: Cave Johnson at October 19, 2016 03:25 PM (6diJh)

77 71 The only time people ever paid a comedian to insult them was when going to see Don Rickles and everyone in there knew it was schtick.

Posted by: alexthechick - Herr Doctress Darth Fagette at October 19, 2016 03:24 PM (mf5HN)


Rickles was also funny and great at spontaneous improv. They call it "talent."

Posted by: J.J. Sefton at October 19, 2016 03:25 PM (UBQ2A)

78 Following Monmouth's lead, latest Quinnipiac poll (with +7 for Clinton) asks 3 questions about Trump's "groping".



3 out of 11, with the first of three giving a detailed description the purported behaviour.



And that only gave Clinton a +7?!? Wow.

Posted by: Amy Schumer at October 19, 2016 03:25 PM (8b+oT)

79

I've got to imagine a significant number of voters are having this internal conversation right now...

Wow, that Trump guy is an asshole. I mean, a major league asshole. He's done a bunch of bad stuff even if the media is making up most of it.

But who is he running against? Oh yeah the woman who made a career out of selling out her country. And she's got the whole political establishment lining up behind her like she is a queen or something...and she isn't even president yet!!!

I don't want to vote for Trump...but I can't vote for Hillary. And that Johnson guy is an idiot. I can't believe I have to do this, but I'm gonna go pull the lever for the one who isn't a crook, because worst case scenario the next 4 years are gridlock if he does win, and the alternative is unthinkable.

Posted by: 18-1 at October 19, 2016 03:26 PM (X7E8f)

80 "Dearest Tampa, I'm sorry you didn't want me, a comedian who talks about
what she believes in, to mention the biggest thing going on in our
country right now."

If I go to a comedy show, it's for jokes, not a lecture.

Posted by: davidt at October 19, 2016 03:26 PM (XoldI)

81 Maybe if she just called those people "Tampons" it would have really been funny while still adhering to the progressive cause for women.

Posted by: Deplorable Adirondack Patriot at October 19, 2016 03:26 PM (4AVeu)

82 Also, shares DNA with Chuck Schumer.
.............

Gee, I wonder how she got her first gig. It sure wasn't on the casting couch.

Posted by: wth at October 19, 2016 03:26 PM (HgMAr)

83 I don't like to speak ill of people, but if Shep Smith was T-boned in a intersection it wouldn't bother me much.

Posted by: Hank at October 19, 2016 03:26 PM (dYuuC)

84 The Aristocrats!

Posted by: Herr Morgenholz at October 19, 2016 03:26 PM (EUMr7)

85 Amy Schumer is the Carlos Mencina of Female Comics.

Posted by: Pepe, The Irredeemable at October 19, 2016 03:27 PM (Zvj7s)

86 This was a big-boned performance, for sure, by the Fat One.

And AWAY SHE GOES!

Posted by: John P. Squibob at October 19, 2016 03:27 PM (rJOC2)

87 And at the end Rickles wins you back with something about patriotism or the troops. To show everyone that it was an act.

He doesn't bring you up to insult you, then write letters to your mother the next day about what a failure she was.

Posted by: Chupacabra at October 19, 2016 03:27 PM (CYqDc)

88 >>And now Amy Shumer is doing the same thing -- shaming her own fans for not laughing at/with her in the correct manner.


Amy is all about the shame.
She shames fans for wanting to take selfies with her. Ooh, scary!!
She shames a young fan for making a joke like she does about her own promiscuity. Ooh, slut-shamey!
She shames Glamour mag for putting her on the cover of their plus-sized issue.

She's a feminist comedian --- it's what she does,

Posted by: Lizzy at October 19, 2016 03:27 PM (NOIQH)

89 we need to stop giving money to people who hate us.

Now, now, let's not do anything rash!

Posted by: The IRS at October 19, 2016 03:27 PM (2z74n)

90 I tried to watch her movie, "Trainwreck". The movie was unwatchable.

That sounds like the most aptly named movie since "Paycheck".

Posted by: BourbonChicken at October 19, 2016 03:27 PM (VdICR)

91 Maybe if she just called those people "Tampons" it would have really been funny while still adhering to the progressive cause for women.

Posted by: Deplorable Adirondack Patriot at October 19, 2016 03:26 PM (4AVeu)
..........

*scribble scribble on a napkin*

Posted by: Amy Schumer at October 19, 2016 03:27 PM (HgMAr)

92 Why does Hollywood think unlikable, unsympathetic characters are watchable?
Posted by: Me

Because vagina.

Posted by: Dang at October 19, 2016 03:27 PM (8b+oT)

93
In a later statement to People, the Inside Amy Schumer star expanded "I loved the crowd and my show in Tampa last night! I want to thank the 8,400 people who stayed. We had a great time!" she said, more sincerely this time. "We have always depended on comedians to make us laugh and tell the truth. I am proud to continue that tradition."




I never met a ham that I didn't like.

- Amy "Will Rogers" Schumer


Posted by: Laurie David's Cervix at October 19, 2016 03:28 PM (kdS6q)

94 Who is Amy Schumer and how has she become a famous commedienne?

I"m serious. I do not recall having ever seen anyone named Amy on television or online doing some comedy routine. I know you guys talk about her, but I haven't a clue who she is, what she looks like, what she jokes about, why she is famous, etc.

I guess I'm like a lot of deplorables in that most of pop culture doesn't interest me because it's vacant of any intelligent humor, or art. So I don't expose myself to it.

Posted by: Jen the original at October 19, 2016 03:28 PM (ntZAP)

95 I watched some guy on youtube commenting on this. First she brought a guy up on stage that was a Trump supporter and asked him why, and it was "because he's not hillary." After that is when she went into her stupid statement. And people booed and she said "I'm going to be talking about this for 5 minutes so you can go to the bathroom or leave."

So she admitted it was going to be a 5 minute political rant and that's why she left.

Oh and she is an admitted rapist by her own standards. Apparently in college she got a booty call from a guy and when she got there he was completely shit faced. And she banged him anyways. Even though he was obviously too drunk to properly give consent. So its Amy Schumer, unfunny sexual assaulter.

Posted by: buzzion at October 19, 2016 03:28 PM (z/Ubi)

96 Miss me yet?

Posted by: Margaret Cho at October 19, 2016 03:28 PM (15j7g)

97 For a fat girl, I don't sweat much!
HIIIIIIIIIIIYOOOOOOOO!!!!

Posted by: Amy Schumer at October 19, 2016 03:28 PM (qJhUV)

98 She's fat

Posted by: Scott Steiner at October 19, 2016 03:28 PM (SyKbw)

99 I think AtC mentioned seeing an Amy Schumer when she went on her alaskan cruise, and that probably wasn't terrible. I bet those people in the club thought they signed up for the same thing.

Posted by: joe, living dangerously at October 19, 2016 03:29 PM (34w2E)

100 Another comic trying to educate the masses with her brilliant political observations instead of telling jokes.
Janeane Garafalo tried the same crap years ago shilling for Obama and she got booed off the stage.

Posted by: Hamilton at October 19, 2016 03:29 PM (sCjDS)

101 Who is Amy Schumer and how has she become a famous commedienne?

Posted by: Jen the original at October 19, 2016 03:28 PM (ntZAP)




Chuck Schumer's niece. Which explains it all.

Posted by: Country Singer at October 19, 2016 03:29 PM (uiwCw)

102 Rickles was also funny and great at spontaneous improv. They call it "talent."

Posted by: J.J. Sefton


For some values of 'funny' and 'talent.'

Posted by: weft cut-loop, Sei-i Taishogun at October 19, 2016 03:29 PM (V3IFq)

103 wish someone could film Scott Steiner shooting on this fat fuck

Posted by: the dude at October 19, 2016 03:29 PM (SyKbw)

104 If it was convenient, I'd buy a ticket and go to her show just to walk out.

Not convenient.

Posted by: Meremortal at October 19, 2016 03:29 PM (3myMJ)

105 Amy's 15 mins of fame were over 10 mins ago.

Posted by: dantesed at October 19, 2016 03:29 PM (88xKn)

106 But they left before she made a joke about vagina!

Posted by: josephistan at October 19, 2016 03:29 PM (7HtZB)

107 Classic passive-aggressive failed-comedian flop-sweat ploy:

"...hahahaha, yes that was a great joke I just told, but now I'm going to get serious -- just joking! -- no, really, this is serious: I want to line up all Christians against a brick wall and execute them, shoot them dead with a machine gun. Hahahaha! Pretty funny, eh? No, but really, I actually want to do that. What a great joke! (Someone boos.) You don't like what I said? C'mon, it was a joke! You must be a Christian! I guess we'll line you up agains the wall too! Hahahaha...man, I'm funny. And I'd be even funnier if all the Christians were dead. (Silence. Boos.) Gee, can't you guys take a joke? It's a joke! Lighten up! You Christians just can't lighten up. That's why we need to kill you all...." Etc.

Posted by: zombie at October 19, 2016 03:29 PM (jBuUi)

108 That was more funny then anything that ever emanated from her flabby plagiarist mouth.

How the hell does someone that lame attract that many people in the first place? Did they offer a free buffet with the ticket?

Posted by: Marcus T at October 19, 2016 03:30 PM (9vY6F)

109 Trying to think of something on topic about this schumer person. Can't think of much except if I didn't read Ace, I would never know who she is.

Now to try to figure out the if knowing who she is has any real practical benefit?

Nah.

Posted by: Tim in Illinois at October 19, 2016 03:30 PM (d76uN)

110 >>Anyone else catch the thing that happened about a month ago, where some
guy on some website did an interview with Schumer, then tweeted a link
to it saying something like "Spent the night with Amy Schumer (not the
first guy to say that!)".


It was a teen fan, a guy who was so thrilled about meeting Amy on the red carpet, doing an homage to her act. And she got everyone on twitter to treat him like he was a rapist or something.

Posted by: Lizzy at October 19, 2016 03:30 PM (NOIQH)

111 Because of her and that fat guy, I'm boycotting Bud Light.

Posted by: Golfman at October 19, 2016 03:30 PM (48QDY)

112 Who is Amy Schumer and how has she become a famous commedienne?

I"m serious. I do not recall having ever seen anyone named Amy on television or online doing some comedy routine. I know you guys talk about her, but I haven't a clue who she is, what she looks like, what she jokes about, why she is famous, etc.




Chucky Schumer's niece.

Posted by: rickb223 at October 19, 2016 03:30 PM (CJOtA)

113 Amy Schumer is just angry that her family has been hunted to near extinction because their blubber is valuable.

Posted by: joe, living dangerously at October 19, 2016 03:30 PM (34w2E)

114 The guys get shirts!

Posted by: Amy Fuckin' Schumer at October 19, 2016 03:31 PM (97XyN)

115 Ace that was poetry... Sheer poetry!

Posted by: deplorable donna at October 19, 2016 03:31 PM (O2RFr)

116 But things like this make me wish I was a billionaire. I'd buy all the tickets to one of her shows and not give them to anyone so the hall would be empty.

Bet I could get a discount too.

Posted by: Meremortal at October 19, 2016 03:31 PM (3myMJ)

117 Trump = "They Live" Sunglasses!!!
Posted by: Lizzy at October 19, 2016 03:23 PM


I'm here to kick ass and chew bubble gum. And I'm all out of bubble gum, so I'll move on to the roast pig and mashed potatoes. -Amy Schumer

Posted by: Flyguy at October 19, 2016 03:31 PM (3sOO0)

118 She told security to remove people who booed.

Because, y'know, Trump is a fascist.

Posted by: Mr. Peebles at October 19, 2016 03:31 PM (iLoHX)

119 Don't sell us out, ace. I fear if she reads this and seduces you, you'll be writing puff pieces about her, and then going off together with her, laughing and engaging in perverse acts.

Posted by: Steve and Cold Bear at October 19, 2016 03:31 PM (iFgwk)

120 How the hell does someone that lame attract that many people in the first place? Did they offer a free buffet with the ticket?
Posted by: Marcus T at October 19, 2016 03:30 PM (9vY6F)

Do you think she'd be stopping to tell jokes if there were?

Posted by: josephistan at October 19, 2016 03:31 PM (7HtZB)

121 It was a teen fan, a guy who was so thrilled about
meeting Amy on the red carpet, doing an homage to her act. And she got
everyone on twitter to treat him like he was a rapist or something.


Posted by: Lizzy at October 19, 2016 03:30 PM (NOIQH)

or when she twitter attacked a dude who wanted a pic with her as she called on her millions of followers to tweet that dude

Posted by: the dude at October 19, 2016 03:31 PM (SyKbw)

122 Following Monmouth's lead, latest Quinnipiac poll (with +7 for Clinton) asks 3 questions about Trump's "groping".

3 out of 11, with the first of three giving a detailed description the purported behaviour.

That's beyond polling malpractice. That's the mother of all push polls.

Posted by: Charles at October 19, 2016 03:17 PM (Ts44+)



Should respond to those questions, f*ck you I don't care. When are you going to ask about Wikileaks?

Posted by: TheQuietMan at October 19, 2016 03:31 PM (493sH)

123 hey shes 'weight challenged' and only needs to lose oohhhh
10 or 100 pounds so a coupla years of just bulletproof cawfee oughta do it.

It won't make her funnier though.

Posted by: Cannibal Bob, 'Hobo, the other white meat' at October 19, 2016 03:31 PM (Pby3z)

124 Yes. I'd say Amy Schumer is fat.

Posted by: That guy who can't see his own dick because... fat at October 19, 2016 03:32 PM (8b+oT)

125 Rickles was also funny and great at spontaneous improv. They call it "talent."

Posted by: J.J. Sefton at October 19, 2016 03:25 PM (UBQ2A)



Yup.

Here is where I state a non-Horde compliant view. Tiny Furniture is actually pretty good and, from that, it seemed like Lena Dunham did have an interesting voice and a self-deprecating view of her generation and, particularly, of single urban women. She did have some interesting things to say.

And then she started believing her own bullshit and that all went flying out of the window.

Posted by: alexthechick - Herr Doctress Darth Fagette at October 19, 2016 03:32 PM (mf5HN)

126

Wow

That is a beat down

Bwhahahahhaaha

Posted by: ThunderB at October 19, 2016 03:32 PM (+GOlG)

127 Janeane Garafalo tried the same crap years ago shilling for Obama and she got booed off the stage.

But I stood up for my principles! Now...you want fries with that?

Posted by: Janeane Garafalo at October 19, 2016 03:32 PM (qJhUV)

128 Amy Schumer was great in that Star Trek movie where they had to go back to the past and bring her back to the future.

Posted by: joe, living dangerously at October 19, 2016 03:32 PM (34w2E)

129 102 Rickles was also funny and great at spontaneous improv. They call it "talent."

Posted by: J.J. Sefton

For some values of 'funny' and 'talent.'
Posted by: weft cut-loop, Sei-i Taishogun at October 19, 2016 03:29 PM (V3IFq)

Listen ya Hockey Puck....

Posted by: Don Q... getting his Rickles on... at October 19, 2016 03:32 PM (qf6WZ)

130 Free speech means you don't have to pay for other people's jokes right?

Posted by: SH at October 19, 2016 03:32 PM (gmeXX)

131 I'd hit it!

Posted by: Guy with a bag of flour.....you know what it's for at October 19, 2016 03:32 PM (cVvbj)

132 103 wish someone could film Scott Steiner shooting on this fat fuck
Posted by: the dude at October 19, 2016 03:29 PM (SyKbw)

Scott Steiner is still alive!?!?

Posted by: Pepe, The Irredeemable at October 19, 2016 03:32 PM (Zvj7s)

133 Rickles is one of the last guys around who can say FU to PC and they can't do shit to him.

Posted by: Mr. Peebles at October 19, 2016 03:32 PM (iLoHX)

134 I wonder if this wasn't a set up, to create a viral demand for her.

Free publicity for being anti-Trump.

Posted by: Harun at October 19, 2016 03:33 PM (UBBWX)

135
I tried to watch her movie, "Trainwreck". The movie was unwatchable.
Posted by: Me



An unfunny Judd Apatow "comedy"?

Tres suprise.

Posted by: Laurie David's Cervix at October 19, 2016 03:33 PM (kdS6q)

136 Scott Steiner is still alive!?!?

Posted by: Pepe, The Irredeemable at October 19, 2016 03:32 PM (Zvj7s)

he's on the PTA and owns a Shoney's

Posted by: the dude at October 19, 2016 03:33 PM (SyKbw)

137 Several hundred men can agree about Amy Schumer:

If she sits on your face, you can't hear the stereo.

Posted by: Herr Morgenholz at October 19, 2016 03:33 PM (EUMr7)

138 128 Amy Schumer was great in that Star Trek movie where they had to go back to the past and bring her back to the future.
Posted by: joe, living dangerously at October 19, 2016 03:32 PM (34w2E)

Captain! There be whales here!

Posted by: Montgomery Scott at October 19, 2016 03:33 PM (7HtZB)

139 You can't speak ill of Amy or uncle chuck will disappear you.

Posted by: Cat Ass Trophy at October 19, 2016 03:33 PM (dnWSK)

140 Amy Schumer is not fat. She's just three feet too short.

Posted by: Dang at October 19, 2016 03:33 PM (8b+oT)

141 We literally do. not. deserve. these people in our midst.

Posted by: Mr Macca Bean (Make deplorable adorable again!) at October 19, 2016 03:25 PM (4ng05)


Oh, I think we do, sad to say. Know why? Because we keep

a) giving them money

and/or

b) electing them

...so we're just getting what we've asked for.

Posted by: OregonMuse at October 19, 2016 03:33 PM (rWDXX)

142 Amy - 35 years old.


Fertility levels dropping off a cliff. Her old lady spinster routine is just writing itself...

Posted by: Stateless Infidel at October 19, 2016 03:33 PM (8GN8w)

143 WTF, 200 people paid to watch her? Just stream Tres Amigos if you need some chuckles.

Posted by: Jean at October 19, 2016 03:33 PM (ngn8T)

144 She's a few fries short of a happy meal.

Posted by: Infidel at October 19, 2016 03:33 PM (lU39g)

145 She told security to remove them

What BS

Posted by: ThunderB at October 19, 2016 03:34 PM (+GOlG)

146 I'm not fat! I'm just three feet too short!

Posted by: Amy Schumer at October 19, 2016 03:34 PM (8b+oT)

147 103 wish someone could film Scott Steiner shooting on this fat fuck
Posted by: the dude at October 19, 2016 03:29 PM (SyKbw)


Steiner is coming

Posted by: Zombie Hitler at October 19, 2016 03:34 PM (7HtZB)

148 I just came here to mention that if CO2 can really be converted into ethanol, it won't be long before that process is either outlawed, because it will remove the biggest driver of climate change and hence remove the beautiful cudgel for change that represents for progressives, or they'll just outlaw the use of ethanol itself.

Posted by: El Skippito Friskito at October 19, 2016 03:34 PM (CGjum)

149 And another thing! Who's the guy always looking for traps, and usually finding them? Me, the thief. Those cool arrows the ranger has? Did we buy those at Target? (snerk) Nnnno. That fancy shield? That... Okay, that we looted from a Dark Elf, and then the white mage and the monk cleaned it up. Oh! I know! That scroll of Magic Missile that the black mage really likes? I didn't get that from Amazon.

So Mr. Fancy Pants Paladin-Knight-Whatever-- we can't all go round being the tank. Some of us have support roles.

Posted by: Lance McCormick at October 19, 2016 03:34 PM (u0s1P)

150 Amy Schumer may not be funny, but the audio of her family singing is oddly mesmerizing.

Posted by: joe, living dangerously at October 19, 2016 03:34 PM (34w2E)

151 "Following Monmouth's lead, latest Quinnipiac poll (with +7 for Clinton) asks 3 questions about Trump's 'groping'. 3 out of 11, with the first of three giving a detailed description the purported behaviour. That's beyond polling malpractice. That's the mother of all push polls."

Number of polls containing a "detailed description of the purported behavior" alleged by Juanita Broaddrick: zero.

Posted by: torquewrench at October 19, 2016 03:34 PM (noWW6)

152 She's it what qualifies as sloppy fat. And she's intellectually lazy as well. Which makes her a complete sloth.

Posted by: Marcus T at October 19, 2016 03:34 PM (9vY6F)

153 I tried to watch a bit of video of the thievish, rotund and unfunny one and the fan booing/walkout but her shrillness reminded me of that certain prefidious, incompetent, nap needing, flabby, apparent carpet munching and inimitably corrupt harridan and democrat preznet candidate, Hillary, such that I could not do it.

Posted by: oddknot is pissed now at October 19, 2016 03:34 PM (g1MTt)

154 132 103 wish someone could film Scott Steiner shooting on this fat fuck
Posted by: the dude at October 19, 2016 03:29 PM (SyKbw)

Scott Steiner is still alive!?!?
Posted by: Pepe, The Irredeemable at October 19, 2016 03:32 PM (Zvj7s)



And he runs a Schoney's in Atlanta.

Posted by: buzzion at October 19, 2016 03:35 PM (z/Ubi)

155

Old flabby drunks who sleep around

Less funny as they age

Posted by: ThunderB at October 19, 2016 03:35 PM (+GOlG)

156
One look at her and I long for the days of Gallagher, Carrot Top and Judy Tenuta.

Posted by: J.J. Sefton at October 19, 2016 03:35 PM (UBQ2A)

157 >>>invited a Trump supporter on stage and ranked out on him personally.

He allowed a walrus to verbally humiliate him? He needs to turn in his human card.

Posted by: Steve and Cold Bear at October 19, 2016 03:35 PM (iFgwk)

158 Didn't Amy promise to leave the country if Trump was elected?

If The Donald wins, I will personally offer to pack her mumus, Tastykake boxes, and Valtrex to wherever the hell she wants to go, because I'm up for anything!

Posted by: SMOD Keeper at October 19, 2016 03:35 PM (onq2p)

159 How the hell does someone that lame attract that many people in the first place? Did they offer a free buffet with the ticket?

Posted by: Marcus T at October 19, 2016 03:30 PM (9vY6F)
............
Also, you can purchase your ticket with EBT!

Posted by: Amy Schumer at October 19, 2016 03:35 PM (HgMAr)

160 http://tinyurl.com/jghwvzm

Interesting early voting information from Conservative Treehouse.

Another thought occurred to me this afternoon. Trump, much more so than any other candidate that I can recall (D or R), really pushed positive poll numbers in his public appearances through the primary.

The media is, without question, fully behind the Haggard Queen. If you were going to gaslight Trump people, preventing him from flogging poll numbers might have been pushed harder this time simply because they think it will hurt Trump specifically.

LA Times can't do this really because they have a set group of people that they are polling again and again -- makes it tougher to manipulate the numbers. Don't really know the methodology of the Rasmussen poll.

Just a thought.

Posted by: Revenant at October 19, 2016 03:35 PM (3DSAh)

161 The Blue Shumer is the largest animal to have ever lived -- even bigger than the Brontoshumer.

Posted by: zombie at October 19, 2016 03:35 PM (jBuUi)

162 My one iron law of comedy: I don't care who you are or what your politics are, just make me laugh. You can be a Zoroastrian communist for all I care so long as your act entertains me. If you fail at that then I don't care about anything else.

Posted by: joncelli, Longbow Afficianado and Phalangist at October 19, 2016 03:36 PM (RD7QR)

163
If you want tubby comediennes, I suggest searching for Totie Fields clips.

Posted by: J.J. Sefton at October 19, 2016 03:36 PM (UBQ2A)

164 I wonder if the 200 knew, and decided to pull a stunt on the SJW scrunt?

Posted by: Iblis at October 19, 2016 03:36 PM (9221z)

165 How the hell does someone that lame attract that many people in the first place? Did they offer a free buffet with the ticket?
Posted by: Marcus T at October 19, 2016 03:30 PM (9vY6F)

Most humor is dead because it has to be PC. So you are left with clapter humor or just vulgarity in an attempt at "humor."

Posted by: WOPR - Nationalist at October 19, 2016 03:36 PM (J70i0)

166
"I think AtC mentioned seeing an Amy Schumer when she went on her alaskan cruise,"

Was Amy the Orca jumping out of the water?

Posted by: Roland THTG at October 19, 2016 03:36 PM (QM5S2)

167
Posted by: sven10077 at October 19, 2016 03:34 PM (SzZnW)

nope, Scott Steinerhttp://tinyurl.com/hmhl4oz

Rick Steiner is chairman on the school board

Posted by: the dude at October 19, 2016 03:36 PM (SyKbw)

168 161 The Blue Shumer is the largest animal to have ever lived -- even bigger than the Brontoshumer.
Posted by: zombie at October 19, 2016 03:35 PM (jBuUi)


So, the Sperm Schumer is a mythical beast?

Posted by: J.J. Sefton at October 19, 2016 03:36 PM (UBQ2A)

169 "How could I think it was OK to spend five minutes having a peaceful conversation with someone with different views?"


Sounds like a laugh-riot of a comedy show, there, toots. I'm sure that's why people paid $!00; not to hear , y'know, comedy -- even stolen comedy, that you somehow manipulate to make your ladyparts the punch line -- but to hear a "conversation."

Posted by: red speck at October 19, 2016 03:36 PM (RcEOo)

170 Amy Schumer went to Sea World.

It took her three months to escape from the manatee exhibit.

Posted by: *Mikey NTH - Outrage Outlet Exclusive! AoSHQ Barrel Survival and Escape Kits by Acme! at October 19, 2016 03:37 PM (hLRSq)

171 IT'S FUNNY BE CAUSE SHE'S REALLY FAT.

Posted by: BEN ROETHLISBERGER at October 19, 2016 03:37 PM (QQ+il)

172
Conversations typically involve both parties talking, Amy. What you were doing was lecturing.
Posted by: joe, living dangerously at October 19, 2016 03:11 PM


Kind of like the infamous "dialogue on race" which always turns out to be a haranguing monologue.

Posted by: Bertram Cabot, Jr. at October 19, 2016 03:37 PM (IqV8l)

173 >>I tried to watch her movie, "Trainwreck". The movie was unwatchable.

It was so, so depressing. It illustrated how so many feminists are nuking their personal lives and then blaming everyone else for it. Felt so bad for Bill Hader's character - he was definitely going to be mind-f'ed a few years down the road by that self-loathing, slutty harridan.

Posted by: Lizzy at October 19, 2016 03:37 PM (NOIQH)

174 If she sits on your face, you can't hear the stereo.

WINNER!!!

Posted by: tu3031 at October 19, 2016 03:37 PM (qJhUV)

175 Hmm. I sense that Ace doesn't think much of this Schumer fellow.

Posted by: Mike Hammer, etc., etc. at October 19, 2016 03:37 PM (eMnol)

176 Pretty sure that walking out on something you find either unfunny or offensive is also free speech.

Posted by: huerfano at October 19, 2016 03:37 PM (jkkMG)

177
Another comic trying to educate the masses with her brilliant political observations instead of telling jokes.


They all want to be the next Lenny Bruce.

Posted by: Deplorable Male Logic at October 19, 2016 03:38 PM (lKyWE)

178 These SJWs, including this roly poly Ghost Buster Sta-Puft marshmallow woman forget is this:

The first amendment protects your right to free speech.

It DOESN'T protect you from the consequences of said speech.

For example: this bitch is free to stand in front of a U.S. Navy Seal and berate him, call him all sorts of names and insult his mother.

The only thing free after that is the punches the soldier will throw, the popcorn I'm eating (and perhaps throwing at her during said beat-down) while I enjoy the show, and the medical care she'll need afterwards.

Posted by: Our Country is Screwed at October 19, 2016 03:38 PM (jxbfJ)

179 Posted by: sven10077 at October 19, 2016 03:34 PM (SzZnW)

nope, Scott Steinerhttp://tinyurl.com/hmhl4oz

Rick Steiner is chairman on the school board


Posted by: the dude at October 19, 2016 03:36 PM (SyKbw)


Steiner is not coming here.

Posted by: *Mikey NTH - Outrage Outlet Exclusive! AoSHQ Barrel Survival and Escape Kits by Acme! at October 19, 2016 03:38 PM (hLRSq)

180 So, the Sperm Schumer is a mythical beast?

Nonsense. It's the only source of Hambergeris.

Posted by: Grump928(c) at October 19, 2016 03:38 PM (QQ+il)

181 Watching 'Thomas the Tank Engine' with 2yo. Trying to remember anything I have ever seen by the Amy person.

I really miss George Carlin (who played the conductor for a while).

Posted by: mustbequantum at October 19, 2016 03:38 PM (MIKMs)

182 Amy Schumer went to Sea World.

It took her three months to escape from the manatee exhibit.
Posted by: *Mikey NTH - Outrage Outlet Exclusive! AoSHQ Barrel Survival and Escape Kits by Acme! at October 19, 2016 03:37 PM (hLRSq)


HOW DARE YOU SLUR THE NOBLE NOBLE MANATEE BY THAT COMPARISON!

HOW. DARE. YOU!

Posted by: alexthechick - at least four feet too short at October 19, 2016 03:39 PM (mf5HN)

183 We have established a perimeter around Amy Schumer! Step back!

Posted by: Fat at October 19, 2016 03:39 PM (8b+oT)

184 Totie Fields clips.

Posted by: J.J. Sefton
----------

Only those of a certain age...

Posted by: Mike Hammer, etc., etc. at October 19, 2016 03:40 PM (eMnol)

185 Trainwreck was an anti-sexual-revolution cautionary tale with jokes. I liked it at the time because i didnt know what a turd Schumer was. I should have paid attention to her last name.

Posted by: Boulder terlit hobo at October 19, 2016 03:40 PM (eXcte)

186 These SJWs, including this roly poly Ghost Buster Sta-Puft marshmallow woman forget is this:

The first amendment protects your right to free speech.

It DOESN'T protect you from the consequences of said speech.





It also ONLY protects you from the government shutting you down.

Posted by: rickb223 at October 19, 2016 03:40 PM (CJOtA)

187 Lately, I've been watching Jim Gaffigan on Netflix, funny and no swearing, so I can watch with the grandkids.

Posted by: wth at October 19, 2016 03:40 PM (HgMAr)

188 Now for an Official Monmouth Poll: Who's funnier?

[ ] Amy Schumer
[ ] Chuck Schumer
[ ] Hitler

Posted by: Cicero -- Profoundly Deplorable But Pretty Dependable at October 19, 2016 03:40 PM (8ZskC)

189 She's just another one of those self loathing liberals angry at the world for her own personal sloth and failure.

Posted by: Marcus T at October 19, 2016 03:40 PM (9vY6F)

190 New poll has interesting results:

1) "After more than a week of blistering attacks from Democrats, celebrities and the press, Donald Trump has managed to pull ahead of Hillary Clinton by 1 percentage point -- 41.3% to 40% -- in a four-way matchup, according to the new IBD/TIPP poll released today."

2) "What's more, Trump scores higher on voter intensity, with 67% of his backers saying they strongly support him, compared with 58% of Clinton supporters who say they strongly back their candidate."

3) "However, half of those polled think Clinton will end up winning the election, compared with 20% who say Trump will."

Poll shouldn't have the bias inherent in many MSM polls.

Poll is of registered voters, so #2 suggests better turnout for Trump, subject to #3, which is a creation of MSM,

Posted by: Ignoramus at October 19, 2016 03:40 PM (r1fLd)

191 OT: Here's a good Halloween laugh to lighten the mood.




https://twitter.com /shutupmikeginn/status /788517274642546688

Posted by: Country Singer at October 19, 2016 03:41 PM (uiwCw)

192 Scott Steiner is still alive!?!?

He will come.

Posted by: Hitler at October 19, 2016 03:41 PM (iLoHX)

193 They all want to be the next Lenny Bruce.

Posted by: Deplorable Male Logic


Who was also, wait for it... unfunny.

Posted by: Dang at October 19, 2016 03:41 PM (8b+oT)

194 She's so fat, the back of her neck looks like a pack of franks.

Posted by: Marcus T at October 19, 2016 03:41 PM (9vY6F)

195 @173 Lizzy

Right, and her character's judgmental loathing of everything male about Hader's character was just awful. The irony was, her character was supposed to be funny because of her more masculine habits. But it just didn't work, and it was depressing, and so I bailed.

Posted by: Me at October 19, 2016 03:41 PM (tuyQX)

196 You know who I think is hysterical and semi Conservative is Jeff Dunham.....No relation to Barkys Mother.... He's done some really funny things regarding Hillary... He's taken shots at Trump, but at least he is "fair." That's all I really ask...

Posted by: deplorable donna at October 19, 2016 03:41 PM (O2RFr)

197 "Polychinned Plagerist"

In my best Christoph Waltz voice - That's a LOL

Posted by: Soulpatchtony at October 19, 2016 03:41 PM (m40v5)

198 Now for an Official Monmouth Poll: Who's funnier?

[ ] Amy Schumer
[ ] Chuck Schumer
[ ] Hitler


Hitler's got some killer jokes about his vagina.

Posted by: Hitler at October 19, 2016 03:42 PM (iLoHX)

199 She wears underwear with dickholes in 'em

Posted by: RWC - Team BOHICA at October 19, 2016 03:42 PM (/D5Lf)

200 She's so fat, she has a backup beeper.

Posted by: Marcus T at October 19, 2016 03:42 PM (9vY6F)

201 Ha. Sock recursion.

Posted by: Mr. Peebles at October 19, 2016 03:42 PM (iLoHX)

202 HOW DARE YOU SLUR THE NOBLE NOBLE MANATEE BY THAT COMPARISON!

HOW. DARE. YOU!

Posted by: alexthechick - at least four feet too short at October 19, 2016 03:39 PM (mf5HN)

It wasn't the manatees that kept pushing her back into the tank.

Posted by: *Mikey NTH - Outrage Outlet Exclusive! AoSHQ Barrel Survival and Escape Kits by Acme! at October 19, 2016 03:42 PM (hLRSq)

203 Lenny Bruce hated lawyers. He may have been disgustingly vulgar, but some of his instincts were good.

Posted by: Mike Hammer, etc., etc. at October 19, 2016 03:42 PM (eMnol)

204 Amy, watcha gonna do?
Amy, we don't laugh with you
For a while, maybe longer
If you tell jokes too

Do you?

Amy, watcha gonna do?
Amy, we're all so sick of you
For quite a while, maybe longer
fatso bitch

Wait, that last line doesn't rhyme. Does it?

Posted by: Bossy Conservative....outlaw in America at October 19, 2016 03:42 PM (RFeQD)

205 She's so fat, the back of her neck looks like a pack of franks.


I'm choking to death here.

Posted by: Grump928(c) at October 19, 2016 03:42 PM (QQ+il)

206 That 200 count is from leftists at the concert who love her, probably should double it.

When hundreds walk out on your act, that's not a good sign.

Posted by: Christopher R Taylor at October 19, 2016 03:43 PM (39g3+)

207 @9: "As another moron said earlier today, we need to stop giving money to people who hate us."

So that basically rules out all entertainment, most large businesses, etc. Losing the culture wars has some pretty rough consequences.


Posted by: FaCubeItches at October 19, 2016 03:43 PM (rznWS)

208 182 Amy Schumer went to Sea World.

It took her three months to escape from the manatee exhibit.
Posted by: *Mikey NTH - Outrage Outlet Exclusive! AoSHQ Barrel Survival and Escape Kits by Acme! at October 19, 2016 03:37 PM (hLRSq)

HOW DARE YOU SLUR THE NOBLE NOBLE MANATEE BY THAT COMPARISON!

HOW. DARE. YOU!
Posted by: alexthechick - at least four feet too short at October 19, 2016 03:39 PM (mf5HN)


I'm with AtC on this. What on earth did manatees do to you, that you would compare them to Amy Schumer?

Posted by: Moki at October 19, 2016 03:43 PM (VnCI9)

209 I agree with Ace.

Posted by: Big Bad Booty Daddy at October 19, 2016 03:43 PM (Zvj7s)

210 >>>The big, pendulous, fat-man-with-drooping-spunkeggs balls


A top 10 line!!!

Well done Maestro.

Posted by: Misanthropic Humanitarian at October 19, 2016 03:43 PM (voOPb)

211 187 Lately, I've been watching Jim Gaffigan on Netflix, funny and no swearing, so I can watch with the grandkids.
Posted by: wth at October 19, 2016 03:40 PM (HgMAr)



I'm trying to think if I've ever heard Gaffigan swear in his act ever? And I don't think he is.

Its possible that Jim Gaffigan could be the comedian for you if you think Jeff Foxworthy gets a little too risque.

Posted by: buzzion at October 19, 2016 03:43 PM (z/Ubi)

212 It wasn't the manatees that kept pushing her back into the tank.
Posted by: *Mikey NTH - Outrage Outlet Exclusive! AoSHQ Barrel Survival and Escape Kits by Acme! at October 19, 2016 03:42 PM (hLRSq)



*ponders*

Fine. You only get cattle prodded in the knee then.

*does so*

Posted by: alexthechick - at least four feet too short at October 19, 2016 03:43 PM (mf5HN)

213 @9: "As another moron said earlier today, we need to stop giving money to people who hate us."

So that basically rules out all entertainment, most large businesses, etc. Losing the culture wars has some pretty rough consequences.


-------------

Look at the bright side. No more Bud Light.

Posted by: SH at October 19, 2016 03:43 PM (gmeXX)

214 >>Trainwreck was an anti-sexual-revolution cautionary tale with jokes.

And did you notice every normal white guy was viciously mocked, even including her nerdy (step) nephew?
It was supposed to be cute. It was repellent.

Posted by: Lizzy at October 19, 2016 03:44 PM (NOIQH)

215 Look at the bright side. No more Bud Light.

It's swill anyway...

Posted by: deplorable donna at October 19, 2016 03:44 PM (O2RFr)

216 She's so fat, the back of her neck looks like a pack of franks.


I'm choking to death here.



She's so fat she's actually on BOTH sides of the family.

Posted by: rickb223 at October 19, 2016 03:44 PM (CJOtA)

217 I was channel surfing the TV and I came across "Trainwreck" with a brief description of the movie. It had 4 stars as part of the description. Yes, I fell out of my chair at that point.

Posted by: dantesed at October 19, 2016 03:44 PM (88xKn)

218 Amy Schumer is the National Liposuction Depository.

Posted by: *Mikey NTH - Outrage Outlet Exclusive! AoSHQ Barrel Survival and Escape Kits by Acme! at October 19, 2016 03:44 PM (hLRSq)

219 She's a womanatee.

Posted by: Mr. Peebles at October 19, 2016 03:44 PM (iLoHX)

220
When hundreds walk out on your act, that's not a good sign.
Posted by: Christopher R Taylor at October 19, 2016 03:43 PM (39g3+)


The venue was half empty to begin with.

Posted by: Deplorable Male Logic at October 19, 2016 03:44 PM (lKyWE)

221 Brian Regan's very funny, and he never swears.

Posted by: BeckoningChasm at October 19, 2016 03:44 PM (AroJD)

222 One look at her and I long for the days of Gallagher, Carrot Top and Judy Tenuta.

Posted by: J.J. Sefton at October 19, 2016 03:35 PM (UBQ2A)


Don't forget me!

Posted by: Margaret Cho at October 19, 2016 03:44 PM (rWDXX)

223 She's so fat, the back of her neck looks like a pack of franks.


She's so fat not even Dora can explore 'er.

Posted by: rickb223 at October 19, 2016 03:45 PM (CJOtA)

224 188 Now for an Official Monmouth Poll: Who's funnier?

[ ] Amy Schumer
[ ] Chuck Schumer
[ ] Hitler
Posted by: Cicero -- Profoundly Deplorable But Pretty Dependable at October 19, 2016 03:40 PM (8ZskC)

Well... Hitler was pretty funny on the movie 'Look who's Back'

Posted by: Don Q... getting his Rickles on... at October 19, 2016 03:45 PM (qf6WZ)

225 She's so fat, she sued Xbox 360 for guessing her weight.

Posted by: Marcus T at October 19, 2016 03:45 PM (9vY6F)

226
Never heard of a comedian kicking People out for booing and heckling UNLESS it is somebody completely intoxicated.

Unbelievable that comedians have become so soft that they have to kick people out that find them unfunny.

Posted by: Pepe, The Irredeemable at October 19, 2016 03:12 PM (Zvj7s)








The classic, funny-as-hell standup comics like Rickles, or the iconic "brave" yet not-so-funny avant-garde standups like Bruce......they fucking LIVED for hecklers.

A standup who can't handle hecklers isn't worthy of the name.

Posted by: IllTemperedCur at October 19, 2016 03:45 PM (XWkhW)

227 But no. It turns out that it WASN'T an act, that Lena Dunham actually thinks she's attractive -- so much so, that she will SHAME HER OWN FANS for not joining in her delusion.

And now Amy Shumer is doing the same thing -- shaming her own fans for not laughing at/with her in the correct manner.

Posted by: zombie at October 19, 2016 03:20 PM (jBuUi)

I've been in the arts a long time. I can't count the number of instances where I'm convinced someone championing a particularly awful piece of art is being playfully ironic when they are, in fact, being earnest and sincere. It's comes as a mild shock when you realize they really believe these things they are saying. They're delusional, you think. They might even be crazy.

Movie stereotypes aside, there's nothing charming or funny about genuinely crazy, delusional people.

Posted by: troyriser at October 19, 2016 03:45 PM (OGbEB)

228 I am so tired of the left spewing their hate- then calling it a conversation

I am so tired of the left attacking me and mine in the most vile (and illegal) ways- then calling us the hate filled monsters deserving of imprisionment/death.

Posted by: Tilikum KAW at October 19, 2016 03:45 PM (0x/TW)

229 George Carlin and Bill Hicks.

Posted by: Pepe, The Irredeemable at October 19, 2016 03:45 PM (Zvj7s)

230 She's so fat, she's on both sides of he family.

Posted by: Marcus T at October 19, 2016 03:45 PM (9vY6F)

231 222 One look at her and I long for the days of Gallagher, Carrot Top and Judy Tenuta.

In Her earlier days Rosanne Barr was funny.... She's not so great now, but She does hate Hillary....

Posted by: deplorable donna at October 19, 2016 03:46 PM (O2RFr)

232 Just STOP talking about her weight, okay? It's trite and its out of line.

You're forgetting she's stupid, too.

Posted by: Mr. Peebles at October 19, 2016 03:46 PM (iLoHX)

233
They all want to be the next Lenny Bruce

+++

I read some of Lenny's stuff and he didn't seem all that funny either.

Posted by: Bigbys other phone at October 19, 2016 03:46 PM (z5KQf)

234 Amy Schumer is so fat, she sweats Velveeta.

Posted by: Dang at October 19, 2016 03:46 PM (8b+oT)

235 Jim Gaffigan is a pretty devout Catholic I've heard. Not a fake one like Pelosi or Kaine.

Posted by: Independent George at October 19, 2016 03:46 PM (BDZWU)

236 She's so fat, when she went to Mcdonalds they had to call Burger King for backup.

Posted by: Marcus T at October 19, 2016 03:46 PM (9vY6F)

237 People also booed Adolph's standup routine in Vienna.

Just saying.

Posted by: Grump928(c) at October 19, 2016 03:46 PM (QQ+il)

238 So, will Allah announce his new position at the Clinton Foundation before or after the election?

Posted by: Agent Cooper at October 19, 2016 03:46 PM (1zARK)

239 Movie stereotypes aside, there's nothing charming or funny about genuinely crazy, delusional people.
Posted by: troyriser at October 19, 2016 03:45 PM (OGbEB)

THIS IS ABOUT ME, ISN'T IT?

Posted by: MUMR at October 19, 2016 03:46 PM (7HtZB)

240 jowly joke-thief'? - Pulitzer prize time.

Posted by: OK, Thanks, Bye at October 19, 2016 03:46 PM (ucB75)

241 A top 10 line!!!

Well done Maestro.
Posted by: Misanthropic Humanitarian
-------------

The entire thing is poetry.

I could not have done better myself.

Posted by: Dr. Johnson at October 19, 2016 03:46 PM (eMnol)

242 LOL

Posted by: steevy at October 19, 2016 03:47 PM (fA75F)

243 Her Safe Space is Cinnabon.

Posted by: Mr. Peebles at October 19, 2016 03:47 PM (iLoHX)

244 I find Amy Schumer's vagina to be rather fusty.

Posted by: George Will at October 19, 2016 03:47 PM (BDZWU)

245 With all due respect to ace, I think the ultimate Amy Schumer put down was by some moron here, who said something like, "She looks like Ralphie went full on Caitlyn Jenner".

Posted by: Steve and Cold Bear at October 19, 2016 03:47 PM (iFgwk)

246 I like Gaffigan and its nice that he doesn't swear. That being said, I loved Eddie Murphy's comedy and he swore quite a bit. As was said, I don't care if you swear or don't swear - just be funny.

Posted by: SH at October 19, 2016 03:47 PM (gmeXX)

247 She's so fat, all she wanted for Christmas was to see her feet.

Posted by: Marcus T at October 19, 2016 03:47 PM (9vY6F)

248 Amy Schumer is a National Jizz Depository.
A Cumdumpster if you will.

Posted by: Mr Aspirin Factory at October 19, 2016 03:47 PM (+WXeq)

249 She's so fat, the back of her neck looks like a pack of franks.
.............

and wears her bra backwards

Posted by: wth at October 19, 2016 03:47 PM (HgMAr)

250 She had security throw the unimpressed out?

I can see her, with her band teacher wings screeching out..."we need some muscle over here"...

I can't unsee that...

Posted by: The Mouse that Roared at October 19, 2016 03:47 PM (7N6ox)

251 I'm so fat, I'm on both sides of the family.

Posted by: Amy Schumer at October 19, 2016 03:47 PM (JO9+V)

252 "Avoirdupois Amy", stolen from P.J. O'Rourke.

Posted by: furious_a at October 19, 2016 03:47 PM (nU8lz)

253 Ever since John Stewart and Stephen Colbert made millions being unfunny--but merely affirming the beliefs and views and prejudices of their core audience, the floodgates opened and in rushed scores of unfunny, humorless hacks attempting to do the same thing--Schumer, Chelsea Handler, etc.

I'm sure George Carlin and Richard Pryor were big lefties, but they were brilliant, biting and funny as hell. And they got off on making everybody including/especially their audience squirm.

Comedy --like rock music--is dead.

Posted by: JoeF. at October 19, 2016 03:48 PM (pGIv1)

254 The Earth doesn't rotate on its own -- it just spins backwards whenever Amy Shumer scootches naked across the carpet the relieve the itch from her yeast infection.

Posted by: zombie at October 19, 2016 03:48 PM (jBuUi)

255 Movie stereotypes aside, there's nothing charming or funny about genuinely crazy, delusional people.
Posted by: troyriser
--------------

Which is why the Left side of the aisle is dangerous.

Posted by: Mike Hammer, etc., etc. at October 19, 2016 03:48 PM (eMnol)

256 The classic, funny-as-hell standup comics like Rickles, or the iconic "brave" yet not-so-funny avant-garde standups like Bruce......they fucking LIVED for hecklers.

A standup who can't handle hecklers isn't worthy of the name.
Posted by: IllTemperedCur at October 19, 2016 03:45 PM (XWkhW)

It is part of the job. If you are not funny or having a bad night, the paying crowd has a right to heckle and boo you.

This a totalitarian thinking that one must think a comedian is funny and be forced to laugh.

It is insane.

Posted by: Pepe, The Irredeemable at October 19, 2016 03:48 PM (Zvj7s)

257 I require brainbleach just for the mental imagery in this post.

And I haven't gotten to the comments yet.

Posted by: Brother Cavil, deplorably down with Eph 6:12-13 at October 19, 2016 03:48 PM (9krrF)

258 Amy Schumer was driving to Disney World. Once in Orlando she saw a sign that read "Disney - Left" so she turned around and went home.

Posted by: *Mikey NTH - Outrage Outlet Exclusive! AoSHQ Barrel Survival and Escape Kits by Acme! at October 19, 2016 03:48 PM (hLRSq)

259 We don't hate Amy Schumer because she's fat. She's fat because we hate her.

Posted by: Dang at October 19, 2016 03:48 PM (8b+oT)

260
In other media news, a new teaser trailer for Guardians of the Galaxy 2 is out:

www.youtube.com/watch?v=sD9NVxYRrZs

Posted by: Laurie David's Cervix at October 19, 2016 03:48 PM (kdS6q)

261 Amy so fat when she goes swimming, whales start singing, "We are family!"

Posted by: rickb223 at October 19, 2016 03:48 PM (CJOtA)

262 She's so fat, she needed Google earth to take a selfie.

Posted by: Marcus T at October 19, 2016 03:49 PM (9vY6F)

263 but merely affirming the beliefs and views and prejudices of their core audience, the floodgates opened and in rushed scores of unfunny, humorless hacks attempting to do the same thing

----------

That I can at least respect.

Posted by: SH at October 19, 2016 03:49 PM (gmeXX)

264 Amy so fat, when she sits around the house SHE SITS AROUND THE HOUSE.

Posted by: furious_a at October 19, 2016 03:49 PM (nU8lz)

265 >>>What on earth did manatees do to you, that you would compare them to Amy Schumer?

It was an honest mistake. The stretchmarks on her back did kind of look like propeller marks.

Posted by: Herr Morgenholz at October 19, 2016 03:49 PM (EUMr7)

266 In other media news, a new teaser trailer for Guardians of the Galaxy 2 is out:



Yay!
I am Groot!

Posted by: rickb223 at October 19, 2016 03:49 PM (CJOtA)

267 Posted by: zombie at October 19, 2016 03:48 PM (jBuUi)

Damn.

Just damn.

Posted by: Golfman at October 19, 2016 03:49 PM (48QDY)

268 It was an honest mistake. The stretchmarks on her back did kind of look like propeller marks.

You owe Me a computer screen....

Posted by: deplorable donna at October 19, 2016 03:49 PM (O2RFr)

269 "they fucking LIVED for hecklers."

I saw Ron White a few years ago at a second late show that got added, so Ron was already into his second onstage bottle of Johnnie Walker Blue, when some woman in the crowd started heckling him.

Ron's response was epic and crude. She was singed to a crisp before she voluntarily slunk off into the night.

Posted by: Ignoramus at October 19, 2016 03:50 PM (r1fLd)

270 She's a very nasty and vulgar leftist. How nice she revealed herself in such a way that she ticked off paying customers grinding her politics into their face. Let the marketplace settle her hash.

Posted by: Jill v2 at October 19, 2016 03:50 PM (azSf5)

271 And just like that, she's back in the Lefts' good graces, after their falling out over Lena and Amy whining over bodies and black men got her in trouble with the though police.

It's almost like it was calculated.

Posted by: Ktgreat at October 19, 2016 03:50 PM (Bl4dy)

272 All would be forgiven if she was even just a bit funny. I'm seeing Brian Regan Sunday. He's funny and just as Left as Schumer, Gaffigan, Black, Madigan etc. etc. etc. Only they are funny. And she isn't in the least. Who did she "darken the doorway of", as Bill Clinton would say, to get where she is?

Posted by: dfbaskwill at October 19, 2016 03:50 PM (zllbf)

273 238 So, will Allah announce his new position at the Clinton Foundation before or after the election?
Posted by: Agent Cooper at October 19, 2016 03:46 PM (1zARK)

Getting paid in Salem Communications stock options.

Posted by: Pepe, The Irredeemable at October 19, 2016 03:50 PM (Zvj7s)

274 Gaffigan also has five kids. Think what a madhouse it would be if they picked up swearing from him.

Posted by: wth at October 19, 2016 03:50 PM (HgMAr)

275 "drooping spunkeggs"

poetry

Posted by: MWR, Proud Tea(rrorist) Party Assault Hobbit & Vaginassassin, aka Beth at October 19, 2016 03:50 PM (4df7R)

276 Amy so fat, when she waits for the light at crosswalks cops tell her to "break it up".

Posted by: furious_a at October 19, 2016 03:50 PM (nU8lz)

277 As an interesting aside, I saw Louis CK, he was not political at all and even did a bit on abortion where he said abortion was baby murder and kind of understood how people could protest outside of clinics in a sly way.

He also had three comedians open for him and they were for the most part not political.

And one of the female comedians pretty much said Hillary was a horror with a shrill voice and who want to fucking listen to that for four years. She was going to vote for the beast but clearly was to thrilled about it.

Posted by: Kreplach at October 19, 2016 03:50 PM (SfCCp)

278 Michael Medved orally pleasures well endowed farm animals.

Posted by: Mr Aspirin Factory at October 19, 2016 03:50 PM (+WXeq)

279 She's so fat, when she wears orange and stands on a hill people think the sun is going down.

Posted by: Marcus T at October 19, 2016 03:50 PM (9vY6F)

280 I really miss George Carlin (who played the conductor for a while).
Posted by: mustbequantum

Ringo Starr was the best Conductor.

Alec Baldwin was the worst (he scared the children!)

George was somewhere in between.


I think they should get Eddie Murphy to play the conductor. That would be funny.

Posted by: Bossy Conservative....outlaw in America at October 19, 2016 03:50 PM (RFeQD)

281 Ace, have you already, as threatened, turned Democrat lackey? Where's the reference to her cousin Chucky Schumer?
I keed, I keed out of love.

Posted by: Rickles, the other Donald at October 19, 2016 03:50 PM (vI+F1)

282 Amy Schumer is so fat Obi Wan Kenobi said that's no moon, that's Amy Schumer!

And I didn't steal that from Robot Chicken the gringos stole it from me!

Posted by: Carlos Mencia at October 19, 2016 03:51 PM (BDZWU)

283 She's so fat, she needed Google earth to take a selfie.



I took a picture of her last Christmas.

It's still printing.

Posted by: rickb223 at October 19, 2016 03:51 PM (CJOtA)

284 She so fat, her blood type is gravy

Posted by: josephistan at October 19, 2016 03:51 PM (7HtZB)

285 265 >>>What on earth did manatees do to you, that you would compare them to Amy Schumer?

It was an honest mistake. The stretchmarks on her back did kind of look like propeller marks.
Posted by: Herr Morgenholz at October 19, 2016 03:49 PM (EUMr7)


You win. You so win. I've got coke zero all over my monitor because you win.

Posted by: Moki at October 19, 2016 03:51 PM (VnCI9)

286 The weird thing is, there currently is an ongoing movie comedienne character called "Fat Amy," played by Australian actress Rebel Wilson. And she's actually funny, especially as the "Fat Amy" character.

It's very odd how there is another fat comedienne really named Amy who isn't even funny. Confusing. But I think Amy Shumer is literally coasting on the coattails of Rebel Wilson.

Posted by: zombie at October 19, 2016 03:51 PM (jBuUi)

287 I'm so fat I'm on both sides of the family. Hey, wait a minute!

Posted by: Amy Schumer at October 19, 2016 03:51 PM (kTF2Z)

288 OK. I feel better. Im done.

Posted by: Marcus T at October 19, 2016 03:51 PM (9vY6F)

289 Funnyman Bobby Bitman got heckled by a studio audience member. He got a tomato splattered on his shirt.

Sammy and William B were very upset.

Posted by: BeckoningChasm at October 19, 2016 03:51 PM (AroJD)

290 Lenny Bruce got arrested, a Martyr for Standing Up to the Man.

Every prog performer's dream.

Posted by: davidt at October 19, 2016 03:52 PM (XoldI)

291 Is it just me, or are all today's comediennes morally and physically repulsive leftist hacks?

Posted by: Smokestack at October 19, 2016 03:52 PM (3e/Uq)

292 Amy Schumer is so fat that when she asked her last lover for something that goes from 0 to 280 and can park in the driveway, he/she got her a scale.

Posted by: Our Country is Screwed at October 19, 2016 03:52 PM (jxbfJ)

293 Joan Rivers would have eviscerated the hecklers.

Posted by: JoeF. at October 19, 2016 03:52 PM (pGIv1)

294 Amy Schumer is so fat, her petronus is an Arby's.

Posted by: Harry Potter at October 19, 2016 03:52 PM (8b+oT)

295 If Sam Kinison came back, how long would it take before he got crucified?

Posted by: Ignoramus at October 19, 2016 03:52 PM (r1fLd)

296
After college, Amy Schumer studied at the William Esper Studio for two years and worked as a waitress.



"Waitress -- excuse me, but half of my sandwich seems to be missing."

"Mffmph?"

Posted by: Laurie David's Cervix at October 19, 2016 03:53 PM (kdS6q)

297 Now she's claiming that she's all into free speech


The stupid bitch doesn't understand that "free speech" only pertains to the relationship between the government and the peasantry citizenry, viz., that you can't generally be prosecuted for something you said. (I know, I know, but that's how it's supposed to work.)

Free speech and First Amendment do not preclude citizens from calling another citizen a dumb fat twat.

Posted by: Deplorable Jay Guevara at October 19, 2016 03:53 PM (SRKgf)

298 Ooops

Posted by: Deplorable Jay Guevara at October 19, 2016 03:53 PM (SRKgf)

299 Amy Schumer has her own sterling silver knife, spoon, and forklift.

Posted by: *Mikey NTH - Outrage Outlet Exclusive! AoSHQ Barrel Survival and Escape Kits by Acme! at October 19, 2016 03:54 PM (hLRSq)

300 Has any prominent comedian ever made a joke at the expense of Obama since he's been president?

Posted by: JoeF. at October 19, 2016 03:54 PM (pGIv1)

301
Posted by: zombie at October 19, 2016 03:48 PM (jBuUi)


So life as we know it ends if her yeast infection goes away?

Posted by: Deplorable Male Logic at October 19, 2016 03:54 PM (lKyWE)

302 Swearing in context I can handle. But too often it is swearing just to swear.

OT: Saw The Accountant. It is actually a good movie and the trailers don't give away the guts of the film.

Posted by: WOPR - Nationalist at October 19, 2016 03:54 PM (J70i0)

303

Amy Schumer is so fat the........ hey..... wait a minute.

Posted by: Amy Schumer at October 19, 2016 03:54 PM (8XRCm)

304 295 If Sam Kinison came back, how long would it take before he got crucified?
Posted by: Ignoramus at October 19, 2016 03:52 PM (r1fLd)


Two of his specials are available on Netflix. He would be branded a homophobe definitely. Also he doesn't like rap music so he would be declared racist.

Posted by: buzzion at October 19, 2016 03:54 PM (z/Ubi)

305 If Sam Kinison came back, how long would it take before he got crucified?
Posted by: Ignoramus

I mean, Jesus Christ, he's not Jesus Christ!

Posted by: Bossy Conservative....outlaw in America at October 19, 2016 03:54 PM (RFeQD)

306 Keep it up Ace and you are going to make Amy Schumer get naked for free speech.

Posted by: SH at October 19, 2016 03:54 PM (gmeXX)

307 Sorry AtC, but I'm still laughing about the Manatee joke...

Posted by: deplorable donna at October 19, 2016 03:54 PM (O2RFr)

308 "Rebel" is a great name.

Posted by: Lance McCormick at October 19, 2016 03:55 PM (u0s1P)

309 Anybody know of a Mother Goose rhyme that had an Amy?

Posted by: Andrew Dice Clay at October 19, 2016 03:55 PM (JO9+V)

310 "Dearest Tampa, I'm sorry you didn't want me, a comedian who talks about what she believes in, to mention the biggest thing going on in our country right now," she said. "How could I think it was OK to spend five minutes having a peaceful conversation with someone with different views?"


Dearest Amy,

Fuck off.

Love,

America

Posted by: Deplorable Jay Guevara at October 19, 2016 03:55 PM (SRKgf)

311 If Sam Kinison came back, how long would it take before he got crucified?

Posted by: Ignoramus at October 19, 2016 03:52 PM (r1fLd)

I'm surprised time travelers haven't John Connor'd him in the nursery by now. Oh wait. Crap. Time paradox.

Posted by: Smokestack at October 19, 2016 03:55 PM (3e/Uq)

312 Be nice, assholes, or I'll do another one of those semi-nude photo shoots.
I KNOW how much everybody loves those!!

Posted by: Amy Schumer at October 19, 2016 03:55 PM (qJhUV)

313 Ooops

Posted by: Deplorable Jay Guevara at October 19, 2016 03:53 PM (SRKgf)


If you by an official AoSHQ Barrel Survival and Escape Kit from the Outrage Outlet we'll throw in a packet of Donkey Brand Ethics Eraser free.

Posted by: *Mikey NTH - Outrage Outlet Exclusive! AoSHQ Barrel Survival and Escape Kits by Acme! at October 19, 2016 03:55 PM (hLRSq)

314 Here Amy, how about a breath mint? It's wafer thin.

Posted by: Roy at October 19, 2016 03:55 PM (VndSC)

315 Amy Shumer is so fat, she leaves pot holes in the sidewalk when she jogs.

Posted by: Bossy Conservative....outlaw in America at October 19, 2016 03:55 PM (RFeQD)

316 The Amy Schumer sock is blocked for me. I kid you not.

If my Hope Solo sock gets banned, I might as well pack up and leave.

Posted by: ScoggDog at October 19, 2016 03:56 PM (m3RIE)

317 306 Keep it up Ace and you are going to make Amy Schumer get naked for free speech.
Posted by: SH at October 19, 2016 03:54 PM (gmeXX)



Now there's a terroristic threat.

Posted by: Deplorable Jay Guevara at October 19, 2016 03:56 PM (SRKgf)

318 291 Is it just me, or are all today's comediennes morally and physically repulsive leftist hacks?
Posted by: Smokestack at October 19, 2016 03:52 PM (3e/Uq)

You've never heard of Tammy Pescatelli.

Posted by: josephistan at October 19, 2016 03:56 PM (7HtZB)

319 You know, not only is she fat, but she's stupid.


She tried to trade in her menstrual cycle for a Honda.

Posted by: Bossy Conservative....outlaw in America at October 19, 2016 03:56 PM (RFeQD)

320 She tasks me! That whale, she tasks me!

Posted by: Captain Ahab trying to relax at a comedy show in Tampa at October 19, 2016 03:56 PM (c4UQW)

321 Amy is so fat Michael Moore asked her out.

Posted by: wth at October 19, 2016 03:56 PM (HgMAr)

322 If you by an official AoSHQ Barrel Survival and Escape Kit from the Outrage Outlet we'll throw in a packet of Donkey Brand Ethics Eraser free.

Posted by: *Mikey NTH - Outrage Outlet Exclusive! AoSHQ Barrel Survival and Escape Kits by Acme! at October 19, 2016 03:55 PM (hLRSq)



Nah. I practice safe quacking on the HQ.

Posted by: Deplorable Jay Guevara at October 19, 2016 03:56 PM (SRKgf)

323 Amy: Does this dress make me look fat?

America: No, the fact you are fat, makes you look fat.

Posted by: The Mouse that Roared at October 19, 2016 03:57 PM (7N6ox)

324 Please Ace, no more references to Ms Schumer.

She has no talent, and is unpleasant to the ears.

Thank you.

Posted by: Yoko at October 19, 2016 03:57 PM (J+eG2)

325
Jabba the Slut

Posted by: Deplorable Male Logic at October 19, 2016 03:57 PM (lKyWE)

326 She's so fat she sweats butter.

Posted by: Mr. Peebles at October 19, 2016 03:57 PM (iLoHX)

327 I'm not saying Amy Schumer is fat or anything, but the last time she went to the beach Greenpeace sent out an alert and rushed to push her back into the water.

She stopped going in Oregon though. Last time she tried the Highway Division came up to her with dynamite...

Posted by: Brother Cavil, deplorably down with Eph 6:12-13 at October 19, 2016 03:57 PM (9krrF)

328 Amy Shumer weighed herself three years ago, but the scale hasn't yet summoned the courage to tell her the results.

Posted by: zombie at October 19, 2016 03:57 PM (jBuUi)

329 Amy Schumer has more Chins than a Chinese telephone directory and more rolls than an Italian bakery...

(snare drum)

Posted by: JoeF. at October 19, 2016 03:58 PM (K6Hw6)

330 Amy Shumer is so fat, she leaves pot holes in the sidewalk when she jogs.
Posted by: Bossy Conservative....outlaw in America at October 19, 2016 03:55 PM (RFeQD)

-----

**looks at Amy Schumer**

**looks at Bossy**

**looks at Amy Schumer**

**looks at Bossy**


Dude.

I dont think she jogs.

Posted by: fixerupper at October 19, 2016 03:58 PM (8XRCm)

331 Amy Shumer weighed herself three years ago, but the scale hasn't yet summoned the courage to tell her the results.

She put on three pounds while standing on the scale.

Posted by: Mr. Peebles at October 19, 2016 03:58 PM (iLoHX)

332 Amy is so fat they won't let her visit Guam.

Posted by: wth at October 19, 2016 03:59 PM (HgMAr)

333 Death once had a near-Amy-Shumer experience.

Posted by: zombie at October 19, 2016 03:59 PM (jBuUi)

334 The WashPoo is covering O'Keefe' s latest on that Dem boasting "about disrupting Trump rallies". The new meme is that the video is SELECTIVELY edited.

Posted by: Boulder terlit hobo at October 19, 2016 03:59 PM (neHHG)

335 She has a lucrative endorsement contract with Michelin.

Posted by: Mr. Peebles at October 19, 2016 03:59 PM (iLoHX)

336 How do I keep getting these sockpuppet nics? I blame Trump.

Posted by: OregonMuse at October 19, 2016 03:59 PM (rWDXX)

337 I suspect one reason people like Amy Schumer are pro-big-government is that they think the taxpayers should do more to support talented people like her, whether or not the taxpayers want to.

Posted by: mallfly version 1.00205c at October 19, 2016 03:59 PM (2JQBv)

338 Amy Schumer better not move to the UK if Trump gets elected. The NIH will deny her medical care.

Posted by: joe, living dangerously at October 19, 2016 03:59 PM (34w2E)

339 Amy: Does this dress make me look fat?


No. It's the photon scattering off your ass that make you look fat.

Posted by: Deplorable Jay Guevara at October 19, 2016 03:59 PM (SRKgf)

340 ...she's basically all the "cute" girls, "fat friend". Beloved as "funny, sweet,really pretty face". You think you're "Eric Straton-rush chairman". Big party ; beer, your friend Jose Cuervo is there. Next morning, you wish you could just die; but no...You talk to your friends; "dude you were so messed up"- and realize, you're Pinto-and were making out w/Flounder...

Posted by: pahound at October 19, 2016 04:00 PM (dWlrW)

341 Amy is so fat Michael Moore asked her out.
Posted by: wth at October 19, 2016 03:56 PM (HgMAr)

------

WOOT!!!!

JOB OPPORTUNITY!!!

Posted by: Consolidated Freight at October 19, 2016 04:00 PM (8XRCm)

342 When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night, he checks his closet for Amy Shumer.

Posted by: zombie at October 19, 2016 04:00 PM (jBuUi)

343 She has a lucrative endorsement contract with Michelin.

Posted by: Mr. Peebles at October 19, 2016 03:59 PM (iLoHX)


Also Sta-Puft.

Posted by: OregonMuse at October 19, 2016 04:00 PM (rWDXX)

344 Omg, I'm dying here. Blew out my ears stifling laughs in the quiet office.

Posted by: Pug Mahon of the Clan Deplorable at October 19, 2016 04:00 PM (RwwCT)

345 330
Dude.



I dont think she jogs.

Posted by: fixerupper at October 19, 2016 03:58 PM (8XRCm)

You dangle a taco bell meal deal in front of her and just watch how fast she can move.

Posted by: Our Country is Screwed at October 19, 2016 04:01 PM (jxbfJ)

346 I haven't seen a movie in the theater since The Avengers Ultron movie, that I didn't want to see. There are plenty of places on the internet to watch movies or a tv show if I just gotta. They won't get a dime.

Posted by: Abby Coffey at October 19, 2016 04:01 PM (HBU7W)

347 Dude.

I dont think she jogs.

Posted by: fixerupper at October 19, 2016 03:58 PM (8XRCm)
..........

last time was the Northridge event

Posted by: wth at October 19, 2016 04:01 PM (HgMAr)

348 She's her own airbag.

Posted by: Mr. Peebles at October 19, 2016 04:01 PM (iLoHX)

349 Her poor knees......

Posted by: Herr Morgenholz at October 19, 2016 04:01 PM (EUMr7)

350 I wash myself with a rag on a stick.

Posted by: Amy Schumer at October 19, 2016 04:01 PM (QQ+il)

351 As a child, Amy Shumer once sat on her Barbies, and accidentally invented Colorforms.

Posted by: zombie at October 19, 2016 04:01 PM (jBuUi)

352 Amy Schumer can't wait to vote for Hillary. She hopes the specially-designed custom voting booth she ordered is finished by Election Day....

Posted by: JoeF. at October 19, 2016 04:01 PM (K6Hw6)

353 285 265 >>>What on earth did manatees do to you, that you would compare them to Amy Schumer?

It was an honest mistake. The stretchmarks on her back did kind of look like propeller marks.
Posted by: Herr Morgenholz



Close it down! We have a winner!!

Posted by: rickb223 at October 19, 2016 04:01 PM (CJOtA)

354 Gaffigan also has five kids. Think what a madhouse it would be if they picked up swearing from him.
Posted by: wth at October 19, 2016 03:50 PM (HgMAr)



Denis Leary has a great bit about getting called in before the nun at his kid's Catholic School because his kid was singing a song with bad lyrics and he asks her which one and she writes out
"Because I'm an asshole" and slides it across the table. She then asks "Where could he have heard this" and Leary was all ummmmmmmmm I have no idea!

Posted by: alexthechick - at least four feet too short at October 19, 2016 04:01 PM (mf5HN)

355 Amy Schumer has her own gravitational pull.

When she walks around the edge of the pool, the water follows her.

Posted by: Village Idiot's Apprentice at October 19, 2016 04:02 PM (J+eG2)

356 There is no theory of evolution. Just a list of animals Amy Shumer hasn't yet eaten.

Posted by: zombie at October 19, 2016 04:02 PM (jBuUi)

357 Yeah......no.

Posted by: Sir Mix-A-Lot at October 19, 2016 04:02 PM (iLoHX)

358
Dear Amy,

Please peruse the comment section of our friendly neighborhood blog.

This is what "funny" looks like.

Regards

Fixer

Posted by: fixerupper at October 19, 2016 04:02 PM (8XRCm)

359 Fat , drunk and stupid is no way to go through life, girl.

I award Schumer no points. Zero point Zero.

Those are my words by the way and not quotes from movies.

Posted by: Sebastian Melmoth at October 19, 2016 04:02 PM (BNXbq)

360 Amy Schumer better not move to the UK if Trump gets elected.

Posted by: joe, living dangerously at October 19, 2016 03:59 PM (34w2E)

I know, right? She'd tip over the whole island.

Posted by: OregonMuse at October 19, 2016 04:03 PM (rWDXX)

361 Time paradox.

Posted by: Smokestack at October 19, 2016 03:55 PM (3e/Uq)

There are no "time" paradoxes, old boy. I assure you, "reality" moves along quite nicely without this bargle fargle hoop faloot. Quazoom glub, spetang?

Posted by: That Dude From Late Night B-Movie Who Turns Into A Giant Ameoba Thingie Because Paradox at October 19, 2016 04:03 PM (OGbEB)

362 Amy Shumer once got bitten by a rattlesnake. After three days of pain and agony, the snake finally died.

Posted by: zombie at October 19, 2016 04:03 PM (jBuUi)

363 >>She has a lucrative endorsement contract with Michelin.


Uh...have you seen her in this year's Pirelli (Tires) calendar?

Posted by: Lizzy at October 19, 2016 04:03 PM (NOIQH)

364 She needs to do some exercises. The first one: pushing away from the dinner table.

Posted by: Deplorable Jay Guevara at October 19, 2016 04:03 PM (SRKgf)

365 When Amy Shumer does a pushup, she isn't lifting himself up, she's pushing the Earth down.

Posted by: zombie at October 19, 2016 04:04 PM (jBuUi)

366 351: thread winner.

Posted by: mallfly version 1.00205c at October 19, 2016 04:04 PM (2JQBv)

367 UNCLE CHUCKY IS GONNA SEND YOU FUCKING JESUSLAND WINGNUT RETARDS AWAY IN FUCKING RAIL CARS. YOU'LL SEE

Posted by: Pollychinned Princess Amy Schumer at October 19, 2016 04:04 PM (+WXeq)

368 I'm just gonna leave this here:

https://twitter.com/HistoryInPix/status/788832973764325380

Posted by: alexthechick - at least four feet too short at October 19, 2016 04:04 PM (mf5HN)

369 358
Dear Amy,

Please peruse the comment section of our friendly neighborhood blog.

This is what "funny" looks like.

Regards

Fixer
Posted by: fixerupper at October 19, 2016 04:02 PM (8XRCm)

Amen and Amen. I haven't laughed at anything Hollywood has put out as much as I have laughed in the last 15 minutes reading this blog.


On a more serious note, why the hell would she pull a "conservative" out of the audience to harass him? Why did she think that was a good idea? I will presume he wasn't heckling her beforehand, so this was her idea of "funny." Bless her heart.

Posted by: Moki at October 19, 2016 04:04 PM (VnCI9)

370 348 She's her own airbag.
Posted by: Mr. Peebles at October 19, 2016 04:01 PM (iLoHX)


...with her own zip code.

Posted by: OregonMuse at October 19, 2016 04:05 PM (rWDXX)

371 >>She has a lucrative endorsement contract with Michelin.

And a lubrative contract with Trojan.

Posted by: davidt at October 19, 2016 04:05 PM (XoldI)

372 YOU GO NOW

YOU BEEN HEAH FO HOWAH!!!

Posted by: Chinese restaurant owner yelling at Amy Schumer and Michael Moore at October 19, 2016 04:05 PM (kTF2Z)

373 I love how she thinks lectur___ people about Trump/her views is "having a conversation".

They are so smug and self unaware it is mind boggling.

Posted by: Tilikum KAW at October 19, 2016 04:05 PM (0x/TW)

374 One of her ancestors went diving off the beach in Mexico once. At Chicxulub.

Posted by: Boulder terlit hobo at October 19, 2016 04:05 PM (K7Pxq)

375 Fat , drunk and stupid is no way to go through life, girl.



I award Schumer no points. Zero point Zero.



Those are my words by the way and not quotes from movies.

Posted by: Sebastian Melmoth at October 19, 2016 04:02 PM (BNXbq)

May God have mercy on your soul.

Posted by: Smokestack at October 19, 2016 04:06 PM (3e/Uq)

376 One of my favorite quotes from the Hitchiker's Guide to the Galaxy is about Amy Schumer:

"Another thing that was forgotten was the fact that against all probability Amy Schumer had suddenly been called into existence several miles above the surface of an alien planet.

And since this is not a naturally tenable position for Amy Schumer, this poor innocent creature had very little time to come to terms wit her identity as Amy Schumer before she then had to come to terms with not being Amy Schumer any more..."

Posted by: joe, living dangerously at October 19, 2016 04:06 PM (34w2E)

377
But no. It turns out that it WASN'T an act, that Lena Dunham actually thinks she's attractive -- so much so, that she will SHAME HER OWN FANS for not joining in her delusion.

And now Amy Shumer is doing the same thing -- shaming her own fans for not laughing at/with her in the correct manner.

Posted by: zombie at October 19, 2016 03:20 PM (jBuUi)

I've been in the arts a long time. I can't count the number of instances where I'm convinced someone championing a particularly awful piece of art is being playfully ironic when they are, in fact, being earnest and sincere. It's comes as a mild shock when you realize they really believe these things they are saying. They're delusional, you think. They might even be crazy.

Movie stereotypes aside, there's nothing charming or funny about genuinely crazy, delusional people.

Posted by: troyriser at October 19, 2016 03:45 PM (OGbEB)







I've spent a lot of time around musicians, and regardless of the musical genre almost every last one of them is a fucking flake. Same deal, for the most part.

Posted by: IllTemperedCur at October 19, 2016 04:06 PM (XWkhW)

378 I'm just gonna leave this here:

https://twitter.com/HistoryInPix/status/788832973764325380
Posted by: alexthechick - at least four feet too short at October 19, 2016 04:04 PM (mf5HN)

----

.....might I petition the Empress for a monitor replacement.

Posted by: fixerupper at October 19, 2016 04:06 PM (8XRCm)

379 Let me see if I've got this right. Standing on a stage, holding a mike, while people have to sit in their seats and listen, that is " having a peaceful conversation"?

???

Posted by: George LeS at October 19, 2016 04:06 PM (+TcCF)

380 368 I'm just gonna leave this here:

https://twitter.com/HistoryInPix/status/788832973764325380
Posted by: alexthechick - at least four feet too short at October 19, 2016 04:04 PM (mf5HN)


I guess you gotta start young if you're going to stick it out.

Posted by: OregonMuse at October 19, 2016 04:06 PM (rWDXX)

381 Amy is so fat that the flour doesn't work.

Posted by: wth at October 19, 2016 04:06 PM (HgMAr)

382 https://twitter.com/HistoryInPix/status/788832973764325380
Posted by: alexthechick - at least four feet too short at October 19, 2016 04:04 PM (mf5HN)
And you just know that "inspector" was getting off on that.

Best job in Nazi Germany

Posted by: JoeF. at October 19, 2016 04:07 PM (K6Hw6)

383 190 New poll has interesting results

NOTE the IBD/TIPP poll was most accurate in the last three elections. This race is a dead heat tie and the winner is going to be the one who has enthusiasm on their side.

Posted by: james at October 19, 2016 04:07 PM (jxw6R)

384 What's wrong with you people ? Amy Schumer is a fine lookin' piece of ass.

Posted by: Brian Dennehey at October 19, 2016 04:07 PM (m3RIE)

385 Let me see if I've got this right. Standing on a stage, holding a mike, while people have to sit in their seats and listen, that is " having a peaceful conversation"?

Yes, the left defines free speech as the obligation to listen to a zoftig feminist lecture you on her opinions.

Posted by: V the K at October 19, 2016 04:07 PM (O7MnT)

386 Wow, this stuff is great! Somebody get me another notebook!

Posted by: Amy Schumer at October 19, 2016 04:07 PM (qJhUV)

387 Weight Watchers hired Schumer to be their stock before photo.

Posted by: Sebastian Melmoth at October 19, 2016 04:07 PM (BNXbq)

388 UNCLE CHUCKY IS GONNA SEND YOU FUCKING JESUSLAND WINGNUT RETARDS AWAY IN FUCKING RAIL CARS. YOU'LL SEE

+++

See now that is funny

Posted by: Bigbys other phone at October 19, 2016 04:07 PM (z5KQf)

389 .....might I petition the Empress for a monitor replacement.
Posted by: fixerupper at October 19, 2016 04:06 PM (8XRCm)



*taps chin*

Approved.

Posted by: alexthechick - at least four feet too short at October 19, 2016 04:07 PM (mf5HN)

390 If Schumer's comedy was a spice it would be flour.

Posted by: Sebastian Melmoth at October 19, 2016 04:09 PM (BNXbq)

391 Let me see if I've got this right. Standing on a stage, holding a mike, while people have to sit in their seats and listen, that is " having a peaceful conversation"?

To the left, "conversation" is "shut up and listen" much like many angry women define it.

Posted by: Christopher R Taylor at October 19, 2016 04:09 PM (39g3+)

392 Here is where I state a non-Horde compliant view. Tiny Furniture is actually pretty good and, from that, it seemed like Lena Dunham did have an interesting voice and a self-deprecating view of her generation and, particularly, of single urban women. She did have some interesting things to say.

And then she started believing her own bullshit and that all went flying out of the window.
Posted by: alexthechick - Herr Doctress Darth Fagette at October 19, 2016 03:32 PM (mf5HN)


I watched an episode of Girls once. I'm still trying to figure out how you could make a parody of urban millennials that didn't look exactly like Girls.

Posted by: Colorado Alex In Exile at October 19, 2016 04:09 PM (FYrz1)

393 Amy Schumer has committed the one unforgivable sin that all comediennes and comedians must never, EVER commit: she is f*cking NOT FUNNY.

All other comedic sins can, to a certain degree, be forgiven. But that one? Not now, not ever.

She reminds me a a blond Roseanne another ugly, fat comedienne who was, simply, not funny and was, in fact, abhorrently annoying. How she got her own show I will never know. Then again, the propensity of stupid idiot execs in Hollywood to pick losers never seems to surprise me. Just the other day I heard that the unmitigated moron Paul Feig, director of Vagina Ghostbusters was laying the "blame" for the failure of that piece of excrement on the "the original movie" ( i.e. if the original had not been so successful; we could have made our ridiculous va-jay-jay version and had it be a hit, but we were too "reverential"). Ahem- douchebag: #1 if the original had not been successful there would not have been a sequel; and #2 taking a steaming dump all over our classic movie with your SJW crapola is NOT being reverential.

Anyway I digress.

Amy Schumer = unfunny fat pig.

That is all

Pax ex.

Posted by: Publius Redux at October 19, 2016 04:09 PM (Fb9aZ)

394 Will anyone send a link to this post to her Facebook page?

Posted by: davidt at October 19, 2016 04:09 PM (XoldI)

395 Great post. Great thread.
Laughter and ridicule.
Great weapon.
Can't be abided by the Narcissist Left.

Posted by: tubal at October 19, 2016 04:09 PM (d6TTt)

396 " If Sam Kinison came back, how long would it take before he got crucified?"

Not very long, but at least he could watch an eclipse.

Posted by: Robert Crawford at October 19, 2016 04:09 PM (y7WG7)

397 She's been in a long-term lesbian relationship with Little Debbie.

Posted by: Mr. Peebles at October 19, 2016 04:10 PM (iLoHX)

398 >>>Best job in Nazi Germany

I'd have happily been tried at Nuremberg to have that posting.

Posted by: Herr Morgenholz at October 19, 2016 04:10 PM (EUMr7)

399
Fat
Stupid
and Drunk.

Some people NEVER take Dean Wormers advice.

Posted by: fixerupper at October 19, 2016 04:10 PM (8XRCm)

400 Why did the dumb fcks buy a ticket to her show? LIVs

Posted by: Nip Sip at October 19, 2016 04:11 PM (NbJXF)

401 Will anyone send a link to this post to her Facebook page?

Fuck that, it'd be her new act.

Posted by: Mr. Peebles at October 19, 2016 04:11 PM (iLoHX)

402 Amy is so fat that it takes her a few minutes to put on makeup.

Posted by: weft cut-loop, Sei-i Taishogun at October 19, 2016 04:11 PM (V3IFq)

403 "How could I think it was OK to spend five minutes having a peaceful conversation with someone with different views?"

Yeah, that's not how it went down. What is it about liberal fucks that CAN'T TELL THE TRUTH?

Posted by: Sponge at October 19, 2016 04:11 PM (xttKs)

404 397 She's been in a long-term lesbian relationship with Little Debbie.

That no good two timing bitch told ME that I was the only one !!!

Posted by: Betty Crocker at October 19, 2016 04:12 PM (m3RIE)

405 If Schumer's comedy was a spice it would be flour.
Posted by: Sebastian Melmoth at October 19, 2016 04:09 PM (BNXbq)

-----

If Schumer's comedy was chile, it'd have carrots in it.

Posted by: fixerupper at October 19, 2016 04:12 PM (8XRCm)

406 Her butt so big it takes a fart an hour to get to the surface.

Posted by: Mr. Peebles at October 19, 2016 04:12 PM (iLoHX)

407 Schumer sent dick pics to Weiner.

Posted by: Sebastian Melmoth at October 19, 2016 04:12 PM (BNXbq)

408 Yes, the left defines free speech as the obligation to listen to a zoftig feminist lecture you on her opinions.
Posted by: V the K at October 19, 2016 04:07 PM (O7MnT)


Exactly. So when the left says it wants a "national conversation" on race, guns, crime, or whatever the progressive issue du jour is at the moment, what they mean is, shut up and listen.

Posted by: OregonMuse at October 19, 2016 04:12 PM (rWDXX)

409 68 I tried to watch her movie, "Trainwreck". The movie was unwatchable. Why does Hollywood think unlikable, unsympathetic characters are watchable? It was terrible.

They can be. Hudson Hawk was a pretty poor excuse for a movie but the scene where Sandra Bernhard (SP?) gets covered with molten lead...that was pretty watchable. One of my top ten favorite movie deaths.

Posted by: Department of FOAD at October 19, 2016 04:13 PM (16OL0)

410 Amy Schumer is so fat that she looks better in a dress than in slacks.

Wait ... I don't think I'm doing this right.

Posted by: Grump928(c) at October 19, 2016 04:13 PM (QQ+il)

411 This thread is the most laughs Amy's ever gotten....

Posted by: deplorable donna at October 19, 2016 04:13 PM (O2RFr)

412 If Schumer's comedy was chile, it'd have carrots in it.
Posted by: fixerupper


DANG! Now that's just harsh...

Posted by: Adriane the Ethnic Cuisine Critic ... at October 19, 2016 04:13 PM (AoK0a)

413 Speaking of the election, my barber and his crew think Trump will win.



Why? They say people that never voted before are going to.



I've heard that story before. Now if Hillary will just stumble over and faint tonight, we'll be OK

Posted by: Nip Sip at October 19, 2016 04:13 PM (NbJXF)

414 Indians jump out early 1-0

Posted by: tu3031 at October 19, 2016 04:14 PM (qJhUV)

415
Golden Corral has an Amy Schumer clause

Posted by: Deplorable Male Logic at October 19, 2016 04:14 PM (lKyWE)

416 These push polls sound like the internet ads where you have to click Yes or No to get where you're going, and No is like, "No, I do not want to save a ton of money on a great product."

Press 1 because you are an intelligent, compassionate voter who wants Hillary Clinton as president so she can make everything wonderful for all of us.

Press 2 if you're a miserable, bitter, racist fuck who wants Donald Trump in a position to destroy our country and start a global nuclear war which will kill everyone on the planet.

Posted by: Michael at October 19, 2016 04:14 PM (KClXw)

417
I've heard that story before. Now if Hillary will just stumble over and faint tonight, we'll be OK

Maybe instead of one fly there will be a swarm of them...

Posted by: deplorable donna at October 19, 2016 04:14 PM (O2RFr)

418 I wouldn't hunch her with Bea Arthur's dick.

Posted by: SMOD Keeper at October 19, 2016 04:14 PM (onq2p)

419 Guys, Amy is not fat - she's a size 6. No really, that's what she said when she b#itched about being included in Galmour's plus-size issue.

Posted by: Lizzy at October 19, 2016 04:14 PM (NOIQH)

420 405
If Schumer's comedy was chile, it'd have carrots in it.
Posted by: fixerupper at October 19, 2016 04:12 PM (8XRCm)
---------------------------
Okay, look, cheap fat jokes are one thing but you're going too far.

Posted by: Margarita DeVille at October 19, 2016 04:14 PM (Nox3c)

421 Amy is so fat when she strips you can't tell which side is front.

Posted by: wth at October 19, 2016 04:15 PM (HgMAr)

422 6-ish.

Posted by: Grump928(c) at October 19, 2016 04:15 PM (QQ+il)

423 I can feel it coming in the air tonight

Posted by: Hillary's brewing 10pm shart at October 19, 2016 04:15 PM (K7Pxq)

424 I see Jeff B is gloating on Twitter that Hillary will win Georgia and Arizona. Is that possible?

Posted by: Benji Carver at October 19, 2016 04:15 PM (OD2ni)

425 >>>Now if Hillary will just stumble over and faint tonight, we'll be OK

Looks like meat's back on the menu, boys!

Posted by: Amy Schumer at October 19, 2016 04:15 PM (EUMr7)

426 Oh Betty ... I hate to tell you - but Little Debbie wasn't the only bitch Amy was whoring around with.

Posted by: Sara Lee at October 19, 2016 04:15 PM (m3RIE)

427 Amy is so fat she has difficulty fitting into a dress.

Posted by: weft cut-loop, Sei-i Taishogun at October 19, 2016 04:16 PM (V3IFq)

428 Amy Schumer is the lesbian love child of Veruca Salt and Violet Beauregarde

Posted by: The Mouse that Roared at October 19, 2016 04:16 PM (7N6ox)

429 She is not funny. Why must we be forced to believe that she is funny?

Posted by: Pepe, The Irredeemable at October 19, 2016 04:16 PM (Zvj7s)

430 Amy has the figure of a model. A Model home.

Posted by: Sebastian Melmoth at October 19, 2016 04:16 PM (BNXbq)

431 "Guys, Amy is not fat - she's a size 6."

That's the scale used for tents.

Posted by: Robert Crawford at October 19, 2016 04:16 PM (y7WG7)

432 >>>Guys, Amy is not fat - she's a size 6.'

6? That's a lot of teepees.

Posted by: Herr Morgenholz at October 19, 2016 04:16 PM (EUMr7)

433 She's so big she has her clothes made for her by the Army Corps of Engineers - Or, as O-BAHM-uh says, "The Army Corpse of Engineers"

Posted by: Publius Redux at October 19, 2016 04:16 PM (Fb9aZ)

434 397 She's been in a long-term lesbian relationship with Little Debbie.

That no good two timing bitch told ME that I was the only one !!!

Posted by: Betty Crocker at October 19, 2016 04:12 PM (m3RIE)
.............

Maybe we could make it a foursome?

Posted by: Aunt Jemima at October 19, 2016 04:16 PM (HgMAr)

435 It's only a matter of time before she gets speared by a bunch of angry Japanese guys yelling "FUCK YOU, WHARE!"

Posted by: Insomniac - Irredeemably Deplorable at October 19, 2016 04:16 PM (0mRoj)

436 Sidebar CO2->ethanol

No energy budget, how much to establish system and maintain?

If successful, Iowa corn farmers hardest hit.

Sure bet? Econuts warn about Big Ethanol!1!!111!!

Posted by: Headless Body of Agnew at October 19, 2016 04:16 PM (FtrY1)

437 I see Jeff B is gloating on Twitter that Hillary will win Georgia and Arizona. Is that possible?
Posted by: Benji Carver


Yes, it is possible JeffBee will eat his own head.

Posted by: weft cut-loop, Sei-i Taishogun at October 19, 2016 04:17 PM (V3IFq)

438 Oh Betty ... I hate to tell you - but Little Debbie wasn't the only bitch Amy was whoring around with.

Posted by: Sara Lee at October 19, 2016 04:15 PM (m3RIE)


You got that right.

Posted by: Aunt Jemimah at October 19, 2016 04:17 PM (rWDXX)

439 Buffalo Bill was going to kidnap Amy and make a whole wardrobe.

But she wouldn't fit in the hole.

Posted by: Mr. Peebles at October 19, 2016 04:17 PM (iLoHX)

440 Uncle Miltie ain't got shit on me!

Posted by: Bea Arthur at October 19, 2016 04:17 PM (+WXeq)

441 Ace, why you hold back? Let it all out!

ROFLMAO. That was classic! Needs to go onto the sidebar!

Posted by: Dave G at October 19, 2016 04:17 PM (dUE05)

442 As a size 6 woman, I'm just personally offended she claims to be a size 6. Bitch, please.

Posted by: Lauren at October 19, 2016 04:17 PM (HNNLk)

443 Fat, angry and stupid is no way to go through life.

Posted by: Insomniac - Irredeemably Deplorable at October 19, 2016 04:18 PM (0mRoj)

444 Oh Betty ... I hate to tell you - but Little Debbie wasn't the only bitch Amy was whoring around with.

Posted by: Sara Lee at October 19, 2016 04:15 PM (m3RIE)




Ahem. As the "parent" here, I can tell you when she really needs a pick-me-up, she comes home to mama.


https://www.bimbobakeriesusa.com/brands

Posted by: Bimbo at October 19, 2016 04:18 PM (uiwCw)

445 Her Target commercial.
Yeah, not very talented.
Flo the Progressive girl, much funnier.

But I prefer the Jennifer Garner points commercial.
Oh yes, I prefer that one.

Posted by: tubal at October 19, 2016 04:18 PM (d6TTt)

446
Oh Betty ... I hate to tell you - but Little Debbie wasn't the only bitch Amy was whoring around with.

Posted by: Sara Lee at October 19, 2016 04:15 PM (m3RIE)
=====
But I was the first!Signed, Dolley Madison

Posted by: mustbequantum at October 19, 2016 04:19 PM (MIKMs)

447 "442 As a size 6 woman, I'm just personally offended she claims to be a size 6. Bitch, please.

Posted by: Lauren"


Amy's a size 6 in dog years.

Posted by: Benji Carver at October 19, 2016 04:19 PM (OD2ni)

448 Maybe we could make it a foursome?

Posted by: Aunt Jemima at October 19, 2016 04:16 PM (HgMAr)


I'm in.

Posted by: Pilsbury Doughboy at October 19, 2016 04:19 PM (rWDXX)

449 Uppity White Cvnt never gave me the time of day.

Posted by: Uncle Ben at October 19, 2016 04:19 PM (m3RIE)

450 She's a size 6 on the cetacean scale.

Posted by: Insomniac - Irredeemably Deplorable at October 19, 2016 04:19 PM (0mRoj)

451
Amy Schumer hasnt been a size six since fourth grade.

Posted by: fixerupper at October 19, 2016 04:19 PM (8XRCm)

452 Each thigh is a size six.

Posted by: Mr. Peebles at October 19, 2016 04:19 PM (iLoHX)

453 >>Maybe we could make it a foursome?


Posted by: Aunt Jemima


WTF about me?

*stomps off and pouts in the fridge*

Posted by: Pillsbury cookie dough at October 19, 2016 04:19 PM (NOIQH)

454 442 As a size 6 woman, I'm just personally offended she claims to be a size 6. Bitch, please.

Well the camera does add 10 pounds, or in Her case 10 stone..

Posted by: deplorable donna at October 19, 2016 04:20 PM (O2RFr)

455 spunkeggs balls.

??

Posted by: FenelonSpoke at October 19, 2016 04:20 PM (EnGQE)

456 438
Aunt Jemimah

Oh Betty ... I hate to tell you - but Little Debbie wasn't the only bitch Amy was whoring around with.

Posted by: Sara Lee at October 19, 2016 04:15 PM (m3RIE)

You got that right.

____________________________________

Not only that - she is bi and into the "group" scene - we know it for a fact! The little trollop.

Posted by: Ben & Jerry at October 19, 2016 04:20 PM (Fb9aZ)

457
That's the scale used for tents.
Posted by: Robert Crawford at October 19, 2016 04:16 PM (y7WG7)


No its the reading on the Richter scale when she walks by

Posted by: Deplorable Male Logic at October 19, 2016 04:20 PM (lKyWE)

458 Amy? More cushion for the pushin' !

Posted by: Bubba Clintoon at October 19, 2016 04:20 PM (HgMAr)

459 Seems anyone who pays to see this idiot deserves what they get, incl. lame/lazy/stupid anti-Trump "humor".


Like walking into a Klan rally or Dem party caucus or NAACP event and being "offended" by racism.


Posted by: rhomboid at October 19, 2016 04:20 PM (QDnY+)

460
Butta..... she a said-a we'da be together for ever-a.

Posted by: Chef Boyardee at October 19, 2016 04:21 PM (8XRCm)

461 458 Amy? More cushion for the pushin' !
Posted by: Bubba Clintoon at October 19, 2016 04:20 PM (HgMAr)

Not even I could get through all the cushion, IYKWIM.

Posted by: Milton Berle at October 19, 2016 04:21 PM (0mRoj)

462 >>>Why does Hollywood think unlikable, unsympathetic characters are watchable?

Raging Bull
American History X
There Will Be Blood
Goodfellas
King of Comedy
Taxi Driver

Posted by: Banana Splits Guy at October 19, 2016 04:21 PM (36nDi)

463 Amy Schumer does raunchy butt stuff

Posted by: Sara Lee at October 19, 2016 04:21 PM (+WXeq)

464 Sad for Amy that Samantha Bee is far funnier.

Posted by: tubal at October 19, 2016 04:21 PM (d6TTt)

465 spunkeggs balls.

??

Posted by: FenelonSpoke at October 19, 2016 04:20 PM (EnGQE)
...........

I think they're used for hunching.

Posted by: wth at October 19, 2016 04:21 PM (HgMAr)

466 The only thing that can defeat Chuck Norris is a funny bit by Amy Schumer thus Chuck Norris is considered invincible.

Posted by: Sebastian Melmoth at October 19, 2016 04:22 PM (BNXbq)

467 419 Guys, Amy is not fat - she's a size 6. No really, that's what she said when she b#itched about being included in Galmour's plus-size issue.

Posted by: Lizzy at October 19, 2016 04:14 PM (NOIQH)
------------------------------
Well, yeah, she MIGHT be an ultra-expensive brand 6, which is equivalent to a normal 12 or 14.
That's not fat really, but since SHE is the one always yapping about her body and slim-shaming others, too bad. She INVITES the jokes.

Posted by: Margarita DeVille at October 19, 2016 04:22 PM (Nox3c)

468 Don't get down on yourself Uncle Ben. The fvcking skank would never give me a second look either.

Posted by: Green Giant at October 19, 2016 04:22 PM (m3RIE)

469 Hillary, a sociopathically mendacious, stupid, corrupt, bloated, screeching bore with Hitlerian temper and judgment.


I'll be here all thread.


(but at least there's something to that line)

Posted by: rhomboid at October 19, 2016 04:22 PM (QDnY+)

470 Wanna tell you story

About woman I know

When it comes to lovin'

She steals the show

She ain't exactly pretty

Ain't exactly small

Fourt'two thirt'ninefiftysix

You could say she's got it all

Whole Lotta Amy...

Posted by: The Mouse that Roared at October 19, 2016 04:22 PM (7N6ox)

471 Press 2 if you're a miserable, bitter, racist fuck who wants Donald Trump in a position to destroy our country and start a global nuclear war which will kill everyone on the planet.

Posted by: Michael at October 19, 2016 04:14 PM (KClXw)



(Pressing 2 frantically.)

Posted by: Deplorable Jay Guevara at October 19, 2016 04:22 PM (SRKgf)

472 "I see Jeff B is gloating on Twitter that Hillary will win Georgia and Arizona. Is that possible?"

On the AZ side, Trump screwed up by endorsing McInsane in the primary, instead of backing Kelli Ward (who was *that* close).

Old Man Yells At Clouds then, once he'd won his primary, thanked Trump by withdrawing his own endorsement and calling Trump unfit for the Presidency.

Whereas Trump could have had a loyal ally in Dr. Ward.

Unforced errors, take two, aaaaaannnnnnd scene!

Posted by: torquewrench at October 19, 2016 04:23 PM (noWW6)

473 Sad for Amy that Samantha Bee is far funnier.

My cat is funnier then both of them.

Posted by: tu3031 at October 19, 2016 04:23 PM (qJhUV)

474 463 Amy Schumer does raunchy butt stuff

Posted by: Sara Lee at October 19, 2016 04:21 PM (+WXeq)


Hey!

Posted by: Megan at October 19, 2016 04:23 PM (rWDXX)

475 442 As a size 6 woman, I'm just personally offended she claims to be a size 6. Bitch, please.
Posted by: Lauren at October 19, 2016 04:17 PM (HNNLk)



She was referring to the logarithm of her size.

Posted by: Deplorable Jay Guevara at October 19, 2016 04:23 PM (SRKgf)

476 It's not a Schumer.

Posted by: Arnold Schwarzenegger at October 19, 2016 04:24 PM (iFgwk)

477 "I see Jeff B is gloating on Twitter that Hillary will win Georgia and Arizona. Is that possible?"



Georgia? No.

Posted by: Country Singer at October 19, 2016 04:24 PM (uiwCw)

478 Oh this is gonna be a good thread!!
+hurries to the top to start reading+

Posted by: simplemind at October 19, 2016 04:24 PM (xVRrG)

479 I'll take the global nuclear war please. Of course, with my luck, Amy Schumer and I would be the only survivors.

Posted by: Insomniac - Irredeemably Deplorable at October 19, 2016 04:24 PM (0mRoj)

480 I am so sick of this garbage about speech. We either live in America or we don't. Either we are free to speak and associate, or we are not.

Let these leftist assholes present their fake bullshit ideas out in the open about the rights of free speech and freedom of assembly and let's see whose argument wins. Hopefully, this happens tonight on the debate stage. But I doubt it.

Instead, we have to rely on a super double-secret video where these clowns let their guard down and speak freely of their anti-American ideals and actions.

Burn in hell to anyone who does not understand or care that these people are full-blown fascists, and an especially large fcuk you go die in a fire to any womyn out there who JUST CANT EVEN vote for Trump / won't be swayed away from the vag vote. Let's see how much women care to live under the anarchy that is sure to come from this Haggard Queen and her fascist rule.

Posted by: Eli Cash at October 19, 2016 04:24 PM (a+WIL)

481 No Amy, not even Bon Scott would "hit it"

Posted by: The Mouse that Roared at October 19, 2016 04:24 PM (7N6ox)

482 IBD poll has Trump up by 1. I thought they had quite polling this cycle as they haven't done a poll in almost two months They were the most accurate poll in 2012.

I wonder if they quite polling on purpose?

Posted by: The Great White Scotsman at October 19, 2016 04:24 PM (iONHu)

483 473
tu3031

Sad for Amy that Samantha Bee is far funnier.

My cat is funnier then both of them.

____________________________________

Stop bringing pussy into this. The Trump "pussy" story was last week.

Posted by: Publius Redux at October 19, 2016 04:25 PM (Fb9aZ)

484
Amy Schumer does raunchy butt stuff
Posted by: Sara Lee at October 19, 2016 04:21 PM (+WXeq)

Posted by: Bimbo Bear at October 19, 2016 04:25 PM (lKyWE)

485 424 I see Jeff B is gloating on Twitter that Hillary will win Georgia and Arizona. Is that possible?
Posted by: Benji Carver at October 19, 2016 04:15 PM
----------------------------
Si, se puede!
I'd say it's possible but not likely, as of today.

Posted by: Margarita DeVille at October 19, 2016 04:25 PM (Nox3c)

486 Some one said there's an AZ poll that has Hillary up by 3.
But it sampled D+34

Posted by: @votermom's phone at October 19, 2016 04:25 PM (SKSx/)

487 475
442 As a size 6 woman, I'm just personally offended she claims to be a size 6. Bitch, please.

Posted by: Lauren at October 19, 2016 04:17 PM (HNNLk)





She was referring to the logarithm of her size.

Posted by: Deplorable Jay Guevara at October 19, 2016 04:23 PM (SRKgf)

Images of Amy looking like sausage links if she tries to squeeze into a size 6.

Posted by: Our Country is Screwed at October 19, 2016 04:25 PM (jxbfJ)

488 Unforced errors, take two, aaaaaannnnnnd scene!
Posted by: torquewrench at October 19, 2016 04:23 PM (noWW6)


Uh, who exactly is JeffB, other than an occasional poster here, that gets wedgied and his lunch money stolen whenever he shows up?
Why should I care about his delusional thinking?

Posted by: tubal at October 19, 2016 04:26 PM (d6TTt)

489 I'll take the global nuclear war please. Of course, with my luck, Amy Schumer and I would be the only survivors.

Posted by: Insomniac - Irredeemably Deplorable at October 19, 2016 04:24 PM (0mRoj)
.............

Oh well, we knew mankind wouldn't last forever.

Posted by: wth at October 19, 2016 04:26 PM (HgMAr)

490 GreatWhiteScotsman, was wondering the same about IBD/TIPP.


Vague recollection is that they only did polling for a short period prior to election, cuz their methodology is expensive (and good), and cuz - close to election, more meaningful.

Posted by: rhomboid at October 19, 2016 04:26 PM (QDnY+)

491 Burn in hell to anyone who does not understand or care that these people are full-blown fascists, and an especially large fcuk you go die in a fire to any womyn out there who JUST CANT EVEN vote for Trump / won't be swayed away from the vag vote. Let's see how much women care to live under the anarchy that is sure to come from this Haggard Queen and her fascist rule.

Posted by: Eli Cash at October 19, 2016 04:24 PM (a+WIL)



The amazing thing: so many women want government health care (or birth control, or whatever), apparently being too stupid to figure out that whoever pays calls the shots. So if they don't want anyone else to have a say regarding "their bodies," as they always say, they should be resisting government involvement in health care.

Posted by: Deplorable Jay Guevara at October 19, 2016 04:27 PM (SRKgf)

492 Why does Hollywood think unlikable, unsympathetic characters are watchable?

Posted by: Me at October 19, 2016 03:24 PM (tuyQX)


Because we pay Hollywood money to watch them.

Posted by: OregonMuse, deplorable since 2004 at October 19, 2016 04:27 PM (rWDXX)

493 *Posted by: tubal at October 19, 2016 04:26 PM (d6TTt)*

I think he used to be a cob.

Posted by: kallisto at October 19, 2016 04:27 PM (nNdYv)

494 But it sampled D+34

PLUS 34????

A pollster who would do that should be shot.

Posted by: Mr. Peebles at October 19, 2016 04:27 PM (iLoHX)

495 489 I'll take the global nuclear war please. Of course, with my luck, Amy Schumer and I would be the only survivors.

Posted by: Insomniac - Irredeemably Deplorable at October 19, 2016 04:24 PM (0mRoj)
.............

Oh well, we knew mankind wouldn't last forever.
Posted by: wth at October 19, 2016 04:26 PM (HgMAr)

True. On the bright side I'd have enough food for a while.

Posted by: Insomniac - Irredeemably Deplorable at October 19, 2016 04:28 PM (0mRoj)

496 Images of Amy looking like sausage links if she tries to squeeze into a size 6.

I can see her limbs slowly turning black as the circulation is cut off.

Posted by: tu3031 at October 19, 2016 04:28 PM (qJhUV)

497 Others have said this, but those people who left deserved it.

What actor, comedian (real or self imagined), or singer is NOT a dyed in the wool leftist who flatly despises anybody of a differing world view?

Were they surprised somehow by this?

Short version: Why pay people who hate you?

Posted by: Agent Cooper at October 19, 2016 04:28 PM (1zARK)

498 Wow. Sometimes it's fun to be away from here for a while and look to see what's going on when you get back.

This is one of those times.

Posted by: bluebell at October 19, 2016 04:28 PM (uHcnA)

499 No,JeffB. was never a coblogger.

Posted by: steevy at October 19, 2016 04:28 PM (fA75F)

500 New, short and to the point O'Keefe vid up:


https://youtu.be/b24Yq1Ndnjo


Posted by: Country Singer at October 19, 2016 04:29 PM (uiwCw)

501 439
Buffalo Bill was going to kidnap Amy and make a whole wardrobe.



But she wouldn't fit in the hole.

Posted by: Mr. Peebles at October 19, 2016 04:17 PM (iLoHX)

Plus he didn't have a large enough basket for all the lotion.

Posted by: Our Country is Screwed at October 19, 2016 04:29 PM (jxbfJ)

502 Ace's post put words to my feelings and impressions of Amy Schumer.

Well done!

Posted by: Fuq the media at October 19, 2016 04:29 PM (eRsdt)

503 I stayed up late warching my Spanish drama so I'll probably be too sleepy to watch the debate.

I'm learning some interesting swear words.
Por ejemplo, the subtitles say "go to hell" but I hear do ething like va a hoda
Anyone know what the phrase is?

Posted by: @votermom's phone at October 19, 2016 04:29 PM (SKSx/)

504 Amy thinks she is Reubenesque, no Amy you are Monte Christoesque...

Posted by: The Mouse that Roared at October 19, 2016 04:29 PM (7N6ox)

505 If Hillary faints or has a seizure on the stage tonight, it will give her a boost as she's "killing herself for America" 'n shit and the dumbass American voter will fall hook, line and stinker.

Posted by: Sponge at October 19, 2016 04:30 PM (xttKs)

506 501 439
Buffalo Bill was going to kidnap Amy and make a whole wardrobe.



But she wouldn't fit in the hole.

Posted by: Mr. Peebles at October 19, 2016 04:17 PM (iLoHX)

Plus he didn't have a large enough basket for all the lotion.
Posted by: Our Country is Screwed at October 19, 2016 04:29 PM (jxbfJ)

The tanker truck in front of the house is what finally gave him away to the FBI.

Posted by: Insomniac - Irredeemably Deplorable at October 19, 2016 04:30 PM (0mRoj)

507 >>>>But it sampled D+34



PLUS 34????



A pollster who would do that should be shot.
.
.
.
,Well I am gong to the range tomorrow.

Posted by: The Great White Scotsman at October 19, 2016 04:30 PM (iONHu)

508 No,JeffB. was never a coblogger.
Posted by: steevy at October 19, 2016 04:28 PM (fA75F)

----

Just to clarify...... JeefB was never a co-blogger.

He WAS however a cob-logger..... which has something to do with picking corn out of your own poop.

Posted by: fixerupper at October 19, 2016 04:30 PM (8XRCm)

509 486 Some one said there's an AZ poll that has Hillary up by 3.
But it sampled D+34

-------

So this looks like cr@p then. /s

Posted by: ah ha at October 19, 2016 04:30 PM (bsDXW)

510 504 Amy thinks she is Reubenesque, no Amy you are Monte Christoesque...
Posted by: The Mouse that Roared at October 19, 2016 04:29 PM (7N6ox)



She's Shamu-esque.

Posted by: Deplorable Jay Guevara at October 19, 2016 04:30 PM (SRKgf)

511 Ok, now in the den of the beast

Posted by: Make America Great Again at October 19, 2016 04:31 PM (VS4CN)

512 >>>Why does Hollywood think unlikable, unsympathetic characters are watchable?

Raging Bull
American History X
There Will Be Blood
Goodfellas
King of Comedy
Taxi Driver


And how could I forget Aguirre:Wrath of God?

Posted by: Banana Splits Guy at October 19, 2016 04:31 PM (36nDi)

513 Now she's claiming that she's all into free speech -- but only when it's speech emanating, like a Taco Bell fart, from her own poorly-shaped mouth.

Ace, you use yer tongue prettier than a $2 whore

Posted by: Taggart at October 19, 2016 04:32 PM (AGJqR)

514 504 Amy thinks she is Reubenesque, no Amy you are Monte Christoesque...
Posted by: The Mouse that Roared at October 19, 2016 04:29 PM (7N6ox)


Chris Christie-esque.

Posted by: OregonMuse, deplorable since 2004 at October 19, 2016 04:32 PM (rWDXX)

515 Bunch of older white women and college students

Posted by: Make America Great Again at October 19, 2016 04:32 PM (VS4CN)

516 Do you have any idea how many strippers it's going to take to burn those mental pictures of Amy Schumer from my brain?

Lots. It's going to take lots. And they are not working for free. And I have to say, some of you in the horde are way behind on delivering your bags of ill-gotten lucre to the vaults of the realm.

You wouldn't to find out what happens if I become the ex-exchequer.

Posted by: moronhorde minion at October 19, 2016 04:32 PM (hKDRi)

517 "drooping-spunkeggs balls"

If you tickle them, they tighten right up. Just sayin'

Posted by: Miley, Duchess of the Deplorable Standard Rednecks at October 19, 2016 04:32 PM (BcNLK)

518 Wasn't this the same chick who was bitching a few months ago because some women's magazine or something had labelled her as a "plus" size -- and she was saying she's not "plus" size, she's a size 6?

Looking at that video of her from the event, she has legs like a piano.

Do they make clothes for size 6 pianos?

Posted by: TrivialPursuer at October 19, 2016 04:32 PM (4rh2D)

519 I don't know what those people were doing in the crowd.

My guess is that they really didn't know much about her at all. Most people that I know aren't aware of her existence.

Posted by: nerdygirl at October 19, 2016 04:33 PM (+lVUW)

520 The tanker truck in front of the house is what finally gave him away to the FBI.
Posted by: Insomniac - Irredeemably Deplorable at October 19, 2016 04:30 PM (0mRoj)

I'm trying to remember what skit it was where Buffalo Bill was prancing around in ladies clothes, and he hears the cops pull up outside.

" He goes, uh-oh----"
Cannot remember what it was.
Damn. Was really funny.

Posted by: tubal at October 19, 2016 04:33 PM (d6TTt)

521 Is it just me or have we given Amy Schumer way too much attention.

Posted by: SH at October 19, 2016 04:33 PM (gmeXX)

522 Chris Christie-esque.


Posted by: OregonMuse, deplorable since 2004 at October 19, 2016 04:32 PM (rWDXX)
I bow to the amazing here!

Posted by: The Mouse that Roared at October 19, 2016 04:33 PM (7N6ox)

523

I bet she has a smell between those sweaty and dimpled friction-inducing thighs like a full dumpster on a hot day at a tuna cannery.


Posted by: Rev Dr E Buzzy at October 19, 2016 04:33 PM (dZdb+)

524 If Hillary faints or has a seizure on the stage tonight, it will give her a boost as she's "killing herself for America" 'n shit and the dumbass American voter will fall hook, line and stinker.

Posted by: Sponge at October 19, 2016 04:30 PM (xttKs)


This is not going to happen. I think Dr. Feelgood is going to take extra precautions to insure that Hillary is well-medicated before stepping out on stage.

Posted by: OregonMuse, deplorable since 2004 at October 19, 2016 04:34 PM (rWDXX)

525 Rubenesque...as in stuffed full of many many Reuben sandwiches

Posted by: wth at October 19, 2016 04:35 PM (HgMAr)

526 Holy shit-snacks!

Amy, honey, when you can stuff 3 pool balls in your mouth, then we'll talk.

Actually, we'll have to pass those pool balls first, then we'll talk.

Posted by: Pam Poovey at October 19, 2016 04:35 PM (hqZPQ)

527 >>My guess is that they really didn't know much about her at all.

I can't imagine 200 hard-core Trump fans would go to her concert - which leads me to believe she was so repellent she alienate 200 people who may well have been LIVs. Good job!!

Posted by: Lizzy at October 19, 2016 04:35 PM (NOIQH)

528 This is not going to happen. I think Dr. Feelgood is going to take extra precautions to insure that Hillary is well-medicated before stepping out on stage.
Posted by: OregonMuse, deplorable since 2004 at October 19, 2016 04:34 PM (rWDXX)
------------------

For her own sake, I hope she has the embalmer who made her up for the first debate do it for this one. The embalmer for the second debate didn't do a very good job.

Posted by: bluebell at October 19, 2016 04:36 PM (uHcnA)

529 Some one said there's an AZ poll that has Hillary up by 3. But it sampled D+34
*******************************

That has to be a typo.

Posted by: #NeverHillary at October 19, 2016 04:36 PM (bH+An)

530 She's Shamu-esque.
Posted by: Deplorable Jay Guevara at October 19, 2016 04:30 PM (SRKgf)

-----

Amieeeeeee.... whatcha you gonna do-ooo.
I... thiiiiink..... you look like Shamu.....
For a while, youve been drinking fondu..

Drinking staight fondu-u--u-u-u-u-u

Posted by: fixerupper at October 19, 2016 04:36 PM (8XRCm)

531

Some women have a thin moustache, I get it, it's nature's way of saying your old.

But she looks like she's got some Magnum PI going on there.

Posted by: Rev Dr E Buzzy at October 19, 2016 04:36 PM (dZdb+)

532 Did someone say +34?!


Posted by: Amy Shamoomer at October 19, 2016 04:36 PM (hqZPQ)

533 Amy is so fat, when she wears high heels she strikes oil.

Amy is so fat, she stepped on a penny and snott came out of Lincoln's nose.

Posted by: Tilikum KAW at October 19, 2016 04:36 PM (0x/TW)

534 That has to be a typo.
Posted by: #NeverHillary at October 19, 2016 04:36 PM (bH+An)

Well it could have been a Border Poll.

Posted by: tubal at October 19, 2016 04:37 PM (d6TTt)

535 >>>Why does Hollywood think unlikable, unsympathetic characters are watchable?

Way of the Gun
Usual Suspects

Posted by: Banana Splits Guy at October 19, 2016 04:37 PM (36nDi)

536 Nobody buying Clinton swag

Posted by: Make America Great Again at October 19, 2016 04:37 PM (VS4CN)

537 522
The Mouse that Roared

Chris Christie-esque.
Posted by: OregonMuse, deplorable since 2004 at October 19, 2016 04:32 PM (rWDXX)

I bow to the amazing here!

______________________________________________

Yep - thread winner right there - with Monte-cristo-esque as a close second

Shall we delve into the zaftig jokes?

such as :

Zaftig? I thought she was a `stuck pig'!"

Posted by: Publius Redux at October 19, 2016 04:37 PM (Fb9aZ)

538 4 "How could I think it was OK to spend five minutes having a peaceful conversation with someone with different views?"

Yeah, cause that's a totally fair exchange - a semi-famous "entertainer" with a mic vs. some poor dude who is up there to be ridiculed.

She basically wanted him to be put in the stocks so the audience could throw rotten veggies at him.

(If you have banana crème pies, don't throw them, give them to Amy so she can have a light snack after the show.)

Posted by: Donna and V. (sans ampersands at the present time) at October 19, 2016 04:37 PM (u0lmX)

539 She's free to be an obnoxious, unfunny asshole. People who don't like her "jokes" are free to boo and walk out.

I've mentioned this before. There's an old O'Reilly interview with Joan Jett. She said that she was a liberal, but doesn't bring anything political up in her concerts because her fans don't buy tickets to her concerts to listen to her political views.

Posted by: nerdygirl at October 19, 2016 04:37 PM (+lVUW)

540 508 Almost choked on what I was drinking...

Posted by: steevy at October 19, 2016 04:38 PM (fA75F)

541 Just overheard in the office, coworkers discussing Madonna's bj offer:



"A vote is for one election cycle, but herpes lasts a lifetime!"

Posted by: Country Singer at October 19, 2016 04:38 PM (uiwCw)

542 >>>Why does Hollywood think unlikable, unsympathetic characters are watchable?

All the President's Men

Posted by: Big Fat Meanie at October 19, 2016 04:38 PM (hqZPQ)

543 Amy is sooo fat, when she goes to the zoo elephants throw HER peanuts.

Posted by: Tilikum KAW at October 19, 2016 04:38 PM (0x/TW)

544 535 >>>Why does Hollywood think unlikable, unsympathetic characters are watchable?

Because they've lived in Hollywood so long they think unlikable, unsympathetic characters are the norm. That's everyone they know.

Posted by: Donna and V. (sans ampersands at the present time) at October 19, 2016 04:38 PM (u0lmX)

545

We have to remember that she, as a woman, is a woman and all the bad talks about her appearance, like her FUPA and dragging ass, and those smallish tits for her body...well, we shouldn't be judgmental, because patriarchy.

Men should be judging women like that, at all. No matter how much she weighs, we should accept her for all her fat rolls.

Posted by: Rev Dr E Buzzy at October 19, 2016 04:39 PM (dZdb+)

546
Why does Hollywood think unlikable, unsympathetic characters are watchable?

Fargo

Posted by: Bimbo Bear at October 19, 2016 04:39 PM (lKyWE)

547 Hillary at the debates reminds me of the campy Flash Gordon movie where Ming asks his spymaster "Are you sure your men are on the right pills?"

Posted by: steevy at October 19, 2016 04:39 PM (fA75F)

548 I was at a loss for words to describe Amy (and Lena D.) because they are like fat, beige wallpaper paste.

How do you describe something so boring, doughy, and more importantly, so unoriginal and so inconsequential?

Posted by: Fuq the media at October 19, 2016 04:39 PM (eRsdt)

549 Amy so fat, when she haul ass she gotta make 2 trips.

Posted by: Miley, Duchess of the Deplorable Standard Rednecks at October 19, 2016 04:40 PM (BcNLK)

550 She defines hilaripity.

Posted by: Big Fat Meanie at October 19, 2016 04:40 PM (hqZPQ)

551 Zaftig? I thought she was a `stuck pig'!"


Posted by: Publius Redux at October 19, 2016 04:37 PM (Fb9aZ)
I was watching a Bud Light commercial thinking she was zaftig, when I realized I was looking at Seth Rogen?

Posted by: The Mouse that Roared at October 19, 2016 04:40 PM (7N6ox)

552 I hate how society has to play this game that Amy Schumer is somehow sexy, it's like a dare to try and out people and bully them on something.

It's all done to see who they can flush out and destroy.

Posted by: Maritime at October 19, 2016 04:41 PM (UW0g+)

553

US Supreme Court Justice Sonia Sotomayor made a plea for public civility during a speech in Minnesota — then admitted that she often wanted to bash her late conservative colleague, Antonin Scalia, over the head with a baseball bat.

“There are things he’s said on the bench where if I had a baseball bat, I might have used it,” she told a crowd at the University of Minnesota on Monday, according to The Pioneer Press.

Posted by: Bertram Cabot, Jr. at October 19, 2016 04:41 PM (IqV8l)

554 2 "having a peaceful conversation"

Something tells me her fatness was the only one with a microphone. That how she sees a "conversation".


Milo Yiannopoulos offers to let people have discussions with him. But then, he isn't a close minded coward.

Posted by: nerdygirl at October 19, 2016 04:41 PM (+lVUW)

555 Why does Hollywood think unlikable, unsympathetic characters are watchable?
All the President's Men
Posted by: Big Fat Meanie at October 19, 2016 04:38 PM (hqZPQ)


Heh. Ghostbusters 2016.

Posted by: OregonMuse, deplorable since 2004 at October 19, 2016 04:41 PM (rWDXX)

556 >>Chris Christie-esque.

She's not like a sandwich, she's like a Sandwich Island.

Posted by: Lizzy at October 19, 2016 04:42 PM (NOIQH)

557 505 If Hillary faints or has a seizure on the stage tonight, it will give her a boost as she's "killing herself for America" 'n shit and the dumbass American voter will fall hook, line and stinker.

Posted by: Sponge at October 19, 2016 04:30 PM (xttKs)

No, I don't think even dumbasses want a president who will croak on them any minute.

Posted by: Donna and V. (sans ampersands at the present time) at October 19, 2016 04:42 PM (u0lmX)

558 535 >>>Why does Hollywood think unlikable, unsympathetic characters are watchable?

Way of the Gun
Usual Suspects
Posted by: Banana Splits Guy at October 19, 2016 04:37 PM (36nDi)

Way of the Gun has one of the best scenes ever.

Posted by: Insomniac - Irredeemably Deplorable at October 19, 2016 04:42 PM (0mRoj)

559 We have to remember that she, as a woman, is a woman and all the bad talks about her appearance, like her FUPA and dragging ass, and those smallish tits for her body...well, we shouldn't be judgmental, because patriarchy.

Men should be judging women like that, at all. No matter how much she weighs, we should accept her for all her fat rolls.
____________________

And her piano legs.

When I saw that video, all I could think was why would somebody with legs like that wear a short skirt. Does this woman not own a mirror?

Posted by: TrivialPursuer at October 19, 2016 04:42 PM (4rh2D)

560 I can't wait for Trump to grab America's collective pussy on November 8th.

Posted by: Max Power at October 19, 2016 04:42 PM (q177U)

561 It was the Monnnsterrr Mish!

Posted by: Wah-ooo at October 19, 2016 04:42 PM (EVi2J)

562 She swallows a lot of aggression. Also, pizzas.

Posted by: Deplorable Jay Guevara at October 19, 2016 04:42 PM (SRKgf)

563 Sonia Sotomayor.
Talk about fat and unlikeable.

Posted by: tubal at October 19, 2016 04:43 PM (d6TTt)

564 >>>Why does Hollywood think unlikable, unsympathetic characters are watchable?

Heh. Ghostbusters 2016.
Posted by: OregonMuse, deplorable since 2004 at October 19, 2016 04:41 PM (rWDXX)

Key word: WATCHABLE
Reevaluate

Posted by: Banana Splits Guy at October 19, 2016 04:43 PM (36nDi)

565 https://tinyurl.com/j8qc9xh BREAKING: Video Exposes DNC's Plan To Use Women Against Trump Supporters

Posted by: Evilpens at October 19, 2016 04:44 PM (y3aQB)

566 >>>Way of the Gun has one of the best scenes ever.
Posted by: Insomniac - Irredeemably Deplorable at October 19, 2016 04:42 PM (0mRoj)

Does it involve Sarah Silverman?

Posted by: Banana Splits Guy at October 19, 2016 04:44 PM (36nDi)

567 Santana homers. Indians 2-0

Posted by: tu3031 at October 19, 2016 04:44 PM (qJhUV)

568 I think some students are get class credit for being hear

Posted by: Make America Great Again at October 19, 2016 04:44 PM (VS4CN)

569 566 >>>Way of the Gun has one of the best scenes ever.
Posted by: Insomniac - Irredeemably Deplorable at October 19, 2016 04:42 PM (0mRoj)

Does it involve Sarah Silverman?
Posted by: Banana Splits Guy at October 19, 2016 04:44 PM (36nDi)

Bingo.

Posted by: Insomniac - Irredeemably Deplorable at October 19, 2016 04:44 PM (0mRoj)

570 "US Supreme Court Justice Sonia Sotomayor made a plea for public civility
during a speech in Minnesota -- then admitted that she often wanted to
bash her late conservative colleague, Antonin Scalia, over the head with
a baseball bat."

SoSo also said that she has no tolerance for sloppy or lazy legal work. This, from someone who as an appellate court judge had one of her opinions be *unanimously* canned at the SCOTUS, it was so amateurish and awful.

Even the Court's liberal bloc were too embarrassed to save her.

Posted by: torquewrench at October 19, 2016 04:45 PM (noWW6)

571 "....her own poorly-shaped mouth."

Posted by Ace at 03:10 PM



Comments


This is blatantly unfair to Schumer. For all we know she has a perfectly shaped mouth.....for fellatio. And judging by the quality of her humor she might have to resort to that to pay the bills.

Until we have confirmation that she cannot in fact suck the chrome off a bumper we should reserve judgement.






Posted by: CharlieBrown'sDildo at October 19, 2016 04:45 PM (Zu3d9)

572 The gutter mouth scrunt get's punched but good.Too bad it is only a movie..

Posted by: steevy at October 19, 2016 04:45 PM (fA75F)

573 Does it involve Sarah Silverman?

If it's the one I'm thinking of, it's fuckin awesome

Posted by: tu3031 at October 19, 2016 04:46 PM (qJhUV)

574 Why is Jaguar putting Stephen Hawking in their ads?He is almost impossible to look at...

Posted by: steevy at October 19, 2016 04:46 PM (fA75F)

575 485 424 I see Jeff B is gloating on Twitter that Hillary will win Georgia and Arizona. Is that possible?
Posted by: Benji Carver at October 19, 2016 04:15 PM

*sigh* are there any form cobs that haven't gone full retard?

Lauraw maybe. I haven't heard anything about her.

Posted by: Donna and V. (sans ampersands at the present time) at October 19, 2016 04:46 PM (u0lmX)

576 563
Sonia Sotomayor.

Talk about fat and unlikeable.

Posted by: tubal at October 19, 2016 04:43 PM (d6TTt)

Sonia Sotomayor - she can almost make Amy Schumer look appealing.

Posted by: Our Country is Screwed at October 19, 2016 04:46 PM (jxbfJ)

577 Why is Jaguar putting Stephen Hawking in their ads?He is almost impossible to look at...
Posted by: steevy at October 19, 2016 04:46 PM (fA75F)


That is the most bizarre product pimping I've seen in a long, long, long long time.

Posted by: tubal at October 19, 2016 04:48 PM (d6TTt)

578 He is almost impossible to look at...

___________________________

By the same token, it's almost impossible to look away.

It's like seeing a horrific a car accident.

Posted by: Deplorable Adirondack Patriot at October 19, 2016 04:48 PM (4AVeu)

579 I still think there was something hinky about Scalia's death.

*removes tinfoil hat*

Posted by: Infidel at October 19, 2016 04:48 PM (lU39g)

580 This is not going to happen. I think Dr. Feelgood is going to take extra precautions to insure that Hillary is well-medicated before stepping out on stage.
Posted by: OregonMuse, deplorable since 2004 at October 19, 2016 04:34 PM (rWDXX)

My piece of shit Obama loving black coworker actually had the gall to say Hillary was "being real" in that last debate.

I need a different job before I get fired for shooting my mouth off or punching somebody.

Posted by: Country Boy - Deplorable and proud of it at October 19, 2016 04:48 PM (QTy02)

581 574 Why is Jaguar putting Stephen Hawking in their ads?He is almost impossible to look at...
Posted by: steevy at October 19, 2016 04:46 PM (fA75F)


I was wondering that too. I mute the commercial, but might not one time just to figure that out.

As for Hawking, we all think we have problems from time to time, but ...

Posted by: Deplorable Jay Guevara at October 19, 2016 04:48 PM (SRKgf)

582 Sonia Sotomayor. A wide Latino woman.

Posted by: davidt at October 19, 2016 04:48 PM (XoldI)

583 Our work is done here. NOOD

Posted by: tu3031 at October 19, 2016 04:48 PM (qJhUV)

584 I'm guessing whoever Sotomayor said that too had a good chuckle over it.

Posted by: steevy at October 19, 2016 04:48 PM (fA75F)

585 Broadcasting Schumer's comedy to POWs is outlawed in the Geneva Convention.

Posted by: Sebastian Melmoth at October 19, 2016 04:49 PM (BNXbq)

586 I hate how society has to play this game that Amy Schumer is somehow sexy, it's like a dare to try and out people and bully them on something.

Posted by: Maritime at October 19, 2016 04:41 PM (UW0g+)


That's because the progressive worldview is so unnatural, it has to be implemented by force:

--Lena Dunham is beautiful
--"Caitlyn" Jenner is a real woman
--Amy Schumer is sexy
--Ghostbusters 2016 is a good movie
--AGW is real
--homosexuality and transgenderism are perfectly normal
--America is evil
--Islam is all about peace and tolerance

...all of these have to be enforced with concerted social shaming, threats, lawsuits, etc. They'd be laughed out of public life otherwise

Posted by: OregonMuse, deplorable since 2004 at October 19, 2016 04:49 PM (rWDXX)

587 OK, this is where I rant about womens' "sizes".

Specifically: They are certifiably bullshit.

I have seen three different articles allegedly the same size and cut fit radically differently on the same woman within a ten minute space of time.

If guys had to put up with a scam like that there would be fashion design offices getting burned to the ground. But women put up with that?

I fear the day y'all snap from all that, really, I do.

Posted by: Brother Cavil, deplorably down with Eph 6:12-13 at October 19, 2016 04:50 PM (9krrF)

588 He is almost impossible to look at...

Posted by: steevy at October 19, 2016 04:46 PM (fA75F)

Pretty fvcking unpleasant. Maybe he should get braces or something.

Posted by: CharlieBrown'sDildo at October 19, 2016 04:50 PM (Zu3d9)

589 553

US Supreme Court Justice Sonia Sotomayor made a plea for public civility during a speech in Minnesota -- then admitted that she often wanted to bash her late conservative colleague, Antonin Scalia, over the head with a baseball bat.

"There are things he's said on the bench where if I had a baseball bat, I might have used it," she told a crowd at the University of Minnesota on Monday, according to The Pioneer Press.
Posted by: Bertram Cabot, Jr. at October 19, 2016 04:41 PM (IqV8l)


Behold the Leftist "judicial temperament".

Posted by: rickl the deplorable at October 19, 2016 04:50 PM (zoehZ)

590
567 Santana homers. Indians 2-0
______________

Wow. He plays guitar and baseball.

Who knew?

Posted by: Deplorable Adirondack Patriot at October 19, 2016 04:50 PM (4AVeu)

591 We will very soon see how many (at least the voters) leftists there are inthe country. Amy is a hard core leftist and assuming around 1/2 the country are leftists they follow her like lemmings. If leftists don't care how corrupt their politicians are they probably don't care how funny they are either.

Posted by: Skip at October 19, 2016 04:50 PM (sWbjH)

592 I have a confession. I drink Bud Light. But I'm transitioning to Miller Lite.

So, I saw Miller Lite commercial this past Sunday that said they don't do politics, they just make great beer.

It was a knock on the Amy Schumer/Seth Rogan Bud Light ads that are SJW'y. I approve Miller's message.

Posted by: olddog in mo at October 19, 2016 04:50 PM (Dhht7)

593 https://tinyurl.com/jbx35sp Katie McGinty Asked Podesta for Advice on Senate Run, May Have Violated State Law

Posted by: Evilpens at October 19, 2016 04:50 PM (y3aQB)

594 Sonia Sotomayor - she can almost make Amy Schumer look appealing.
Posted by: Our Country is Screwed at October 19, 2016 04:46 PM (jxbfJ)

Yup. Hugo Chavez in a wig.

Posted by: Pug Mahon of the Clan Deplorable at October 19, 2016 04:50 PM (RwwCT)

595 If Amy Schumer was actually funny once in a while, this story would have legs.

Instead, it is just another consumer protection story about stealing money.

She advertised she was funny and entertainer. That is false.

Posted by: Columbo's Cousin at October 19, 2016 04:50 PM (UsCnO)

596
>>>Why does Hollywood think unlikable, unsympathetic characters are watchable?

Raging Bull
American History X
There Will Be Blood
Goodfellas
King of Comedy
Taxi Driver


And how could I forget Aguirre:Wrath of God?

Posted by: Banana Splits Guy at October 19, 2016 04:31 PM (36nDi)






To be fair, that's not really a Hollywood film. And Herzog is a fucking badass. And batshit insane. The most awesomely awesome act ever on any film set is when Herzog pulled a gun on Klaus Kinski (the only man more insane than Herzog) and threatened to kill him if he didn't get back to work.

Personally, I'm all for scaring the living shit out of actors, just on general principles.

Posted by: IllTemperedCur at October 19, 2016 04:51 PM (XWkhW)

597 I was once - oh like 25 years ago - a size 6. I did not look like that when I was a size 6.

Posted by: Donna and V. (sans ampersands at the present time) at October 19, 2016 04:51 PM (u0lmX)

598 Kaine update

He's not here yet

They have double fences in front of the podium. Only the special people get close enough

Posted by: Make America Great Again at October 19, 2016 04:52 PM (VS4CN)

599 all of these have to be enforced with concerted social shaming, threats, lawsuits, etc. They'd be laughed out of public life otherwise
Posted by: OregonMuse,





It really is just about breaking people down till they feel they know nothing so the Vanguard Party can come in and tell them their new reality.

Posted by: Maritime at October 19, 2016 04:52 PM (UW0g+)

600 amy's so fat, when she goes to the beach she alters the tides.

Posted by: Vivi at October 19, 2016 04:53 PM (11H2y)

601 That's because the progressive worldview is so unnatural, it has to be implemented by force:

--Lena Dunham is beautiful
--"Caitlyn" Jenner is a real woman
--Amy Schumer is sexy
--Ghostbusters 2016 is a good movie
--AGW is real
--homosexuality and transgenderism are perfectly normal
--America is evil
--Islam is all about peace and tolerance

...all of these have to be enforced with concerted social shaming, threats, lawsuits, etc. They'd be laughed out of public life otherwise


Posted by: OregonMuse, deplorable since 2004 at October 19, 2016 04:49 PM (rWDXX)

Don't forget Michelle is a hottie with a terrific bod and best of all:

Hillary Clinton, style icon.

Posted by: Donna and V. (sans ampersands at the present time) at October 19, 2016 04:54 PM (u0lmX)

602 HRC is a style icon. For sofas.

Posted by: Vivi at October 19, 2016 04:56 PM (11H2y)

603 Ah yes, Baby Amy's inalienable free speech rights.

Prospective customers to a Baby Amy show should exercise another right so beloved by her, the sacred Right to Choose. Do I spend my hard-earned money to attend a lame 'comedy' show and get lectured on Lefty moral superiority, or do I choose another activity worthy of my time and money?

Posted by: JuJuBee at October 19, 2016 04:57 PM (kma8f)

604 I really enjoyed Sarah S. getting punched out. I will never get tired of seeing that.

Posted by: Vivi at October 19, 2016 05:00 PM (11H2y)

605 If only there was a way to buy a ticket to her show and then cancel at the last minute....

Posted by: Vivi at October 19, 2016 05:01 PM (11H2y)

606 OT-Just aggravated at the stupid leftist teens in my kid's high school who said to him today ."Trump is a Nazi" and "There should be no border controls/" Aaaaagh!

Posted by: FenelonSpoke at October 19, 2016 05:01 PM (EnGQE)

607 >>>To be fair, that's not really a Hollywood film. And Herzog is a fucking badass. And batshit insane. The most awesomely awesome act ever on any film set is when Herzog pulled a gun on Klaus Kinski (the only man more insane than Herzog) and threatened to kill him if he didn't get back to work.

Personally, I'm all for scaring the living shit out of actors, just on general principles.
Posted by: IllTemperedCur at October 19, 2016 04:51 PM (XWkhW)

It's not about what's a Hollywood film and what isn't. The point is that you can make a movie with an unlikable and unsympathetic character (e.g. Aguirre) and make it watchable if the character is interesting and the story is compelling. But you have to have those elements.

Posted by: Banana Splits Guy at October 19, 2016 05:02 PM (36nDi)

608 570
"US Supreme Court Justice Sonia Sotomayor made a plea for public civility

during a speech in Minnesota -- then admitted that she often wanted to

bash her late conservative colleague, Antonin Scalia, over the head with

a baseball bat."

SoSo also said that she has no tolerance
for sloppy or lazy legal work. This, from someone who as an appellate
court judge had one of her opinions be *unanimously* canned at the
SCOTUS, it was so amateurish and awful.

Even the Court's liberal bloc were too embarrassed to save her.

____________________________________________

In my prior life as a litigator (prior to hanging it up to go into another field entirely) I appeared a few times before Sotomayor. She was, and is, a complete and utter blithering idiot, lazy and without even a shred of common sense. When I read that a Judge Sotomayor was being nominated to the SC I had to quickly do some research because I just did not believe it was the same idiot. But, sure enough, it was. Completely f*cking stupid.

Mrs. Redux , also a prior litigator, and Colombian, naturalized US citizen ( no she came here legally and HATES every f*cking illegal alien, btw), hates her. She thinks she is an offense against educated Latinas as she clearly got her appointment through patronage and political graft - not talent.

Oh well - another day, another talent-less Dem hack gets elevated to the highest positions in the land.

Reaches, yet again, for bottle of bourbon. Closes door, turns off lights, pours glass, looks out window, sighs heavily.

Posted by: Publius Redux at October 19, 2016 05:02 PM (Fb9aZ)

609 Ace,

It's probably not worth the effort getting aggravated at Any Schumer. Just laugh at her-not because she's funny-but because she takes herself waaaay too seriously. I don't care if she's fat. She's just not funny.

Posted by: FenelonSpoke at October 19, 2016 05:04 PM (EnGQE)

610 590


567 Santana homers. Indians 2-0

______________



Wow. He plays guitar and baseball.



Who knew?

________________

Oye como va . . . it is high . . . it is far . . it is GONE!

Posted by: Publius Redux at October 19, 2016 05:05 PM (Fb9aZ)

611 I saw Fat-Man-With-Drooping-Spunkeggs Balls open for -

wait a minute, that was a bad LSD trip.

nevermind.

Posted by: Retard Strength Trumps Smart Power at October 19, 2016 05:05 PM (27KAF)

612 For the record. She's not fat. She's huskey.

Posted by: Drider at October 19, 2016 05:11 PM (6Xbsz)

613 These posts are what initially attracted me to Ace's site.

Excellent, Ace.

Posted by: Seems Legit at October 19, 2016 05:18 PM (U+nHb)

614 What I dislike the most about Amy Schumer is that she really got her start on Greg Gutfeld's Red Eye on FOX. She was a frequent guest, and she was funny, too. I assumed she was a liberal, but she knew her audience and generally kept her snark straight down the middle or picked on both sides equally. Now that she's made it big, she's all liberal all the time and she's a lot less funny.

Posted by: biancaneve at October 19, 2016 05:22 PM (IKOfL)

615 Poetry post, ace.

Kudos.

Posted by: Joe Mama at October 19, 2016 05:29 PM (jPoCB)

616 Remember this bitch said she was a conservative just to get some play and on TV (RedEye) then she got famous and she came out and said it was all an act in an interview. She lied to people that she was "friends" with then threw them under the bus or tossed them away when she used them.

Posted by: Patrick from Ohio at October 19, 2016 05:57 PM (dKiJG)

617 What's cool about this is that we know it hurt her feelings. If she didn't give a shit, she wouldn't have said anything. It stung her fat ass (twas fat before it got stung...and after), so that makes me happy. Seeing Amy Schumer unhappy makes me happy. People voted with their feet, told her to GFHS and hit the parking lot. Apparently, driving in traffic was more appealing than watching this whale spew her liberal shit-talk and her tough guy act ain't fooling anyone.

Oh, and Ace, this is a super awesome post. I think you used every favorite word I know.

Posted by: AlaBAMA at October 19, 2016 06:47 PM (pUDQf)

618 I am so with the commenters on this thread who have suggested we not give money to people who hate us. We war has college football on tv, but no NFL. I have cut date-night movies with my husband out of my life. We think of other things to do on date night. I don't call him "Tired Dad" for nothing

Posted by: Tired Mom at October 19, 2016 06:47 PM (kkfH9)

619 AlaBAMA, yah man, what you said!!!

Posted by: Tired Mom at October 19, 2016 06:48 PM (kkfH9)

620 Polychinned plagiarist ha! Mind if borrow that one?

Posted by: Dimpled Dumpster Dimwit at October 19, 2016 08:28 PM (ROIz5)

621 We used to enjoy her appearences on Red Eye, where she focused on being funny. We also saw her stand-up act about 4 years ago, which was hilarious - very dirty and very un-PC. I suspect that she has come out as another angry lieral so that the SJWs won't come after her.

Posted by: Darwin Akbar at October 19, 2016 09:14 PM (qcOWc)

622 Amy Schumer is proof that evolution made fat girls promiscuous so they could compete with pretty girls for men.

Posted by: Deplorably Rusty Nail at October 19, 2016 09:53 PM (S2VsH)

623 Savage AF! Brilliant, Ace.

Posted by: Walknot at October 19, 2016 11:31 PM (x2guM)

624 When Amy Schumer insisted she was cute and demanded the audience acknowledge that she was cute - Now THAT was Hilarious!!

Turns out she actually can be funny. Just not on purpose.

Posted by: Aarradin at October 20, 2016 05:24 AM (+7Wfv)

625 Reading between the lines, I get the feeling from the article that this woman is slightly portly.

Posted by: Kevin at October 20, 2016 02:17 PM (9ssjQ)

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