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The Money Trap [Warden]
Tonight, my wife and I ran into some old friends from our neighborhood. They're middle aged, like us, with two kids--a boy and a girl, age 9 and 10. We have two boys, 4 and 10. The husband has a lucrative job. They moved our of our upper middle class neighborhood two years ago into a $500,000 home.
The husband travels overseas three weeks out of a month for his job. Some weeks he returns home Saturday night and flies out again on Monday morning. When I asked the wife how they were handling the schedule, she sighed and replied, "I don't know how much longer we can hang on. But if he were to find a job in his industry where he didn't have to travel, he'd have to take a pretty big pay cut." Some part of me wanted to scream, "Take the pay cut! You look miserable just talking about it, and you could move right back into our neighborhood and still be better off than most people!" But it's not that simple, is it? New money doesn't stay liquid for long. It always finds a way to fund new obligations--the bigger home with the upscale patio and fire pit, the luxury SUV, the vacations, the dreams of early retirement. We all want to feel like we're advancing in life, both in status and wealth. Stepping back feels like failure. My friends are trapped. I see it a lot as people hit middle age. I'll be honest/ Although I'm good at it, I pretty much hate my job. I work in a poisonous work culture. I dislike my industry and most of my coworkers. I am bored, resentful, and simply phoning it in for a paycheck. I am capable of achieving and earning much, much more. And when I see someone in a personally rewarding, high achievement career I feel envious. But I have a job that allows me to be my kids' primary caregiver while they're young. And it pays well enough to allow us to live within one of the top school systems in the state. I do not travel for work, rarely put in more than 45 hours a week and never bring work home. I know beyond a shadow of a doubt what it is that I value. I am a family man foremost and always. My relationship with my kids means more to me than anything else in the world, and I know that you can never get back this time with them when they're young and precious and treasure my attention. A sober accounting would say I have no good reason to be dissatisfied. My health is good, I have a happy marriage, I get to spend a great deal of time with my kids, and I don't have a lot of material wants. And yet there's still that nagging sense of underachievement and wasted potential. I'd be lying if I said I didn't feel insecure and slightly embarrassed of my own middling accomplishments when socializing with high career achievers. This, despite knowing that my choices have been deliberate and well considered. The money trap for me isn't even about money. It's about what it represents. So, how do you balance work and family life? Are you happy with your choices? And if not, what is stopping you from taking a different path? If you could do things over, would you do them differently? What will you tell your kids about work, family and how to define success?Comments
(Jump to bottom of comments)1
first?
Posted by: Katie Ledecky at September 23, 2016 12:13 PM (fgOnp)
2
Yes.
Posted by: iforgot says God bless Fleegle at September 23, 2016 12:14 PM (5o5ek)
3
Golden Handcuffs.
We're not even upper middle class, we cling to middle middle class, but I feel it already. Every hit to my paycheck (and there are many at this stage in my career to the extent I have a career) hits hard. We're constantly striving towards more even as I want to yell "STAHP" and..well stop.
Alas we have the obligations now and who wants to move back into a tiny apartment with a kid just to stockpile more liquid cash.
We're not even upper middle class, we cling to middle middle class, but I feel it already. Every hit to my paycheck (and there are many at this stage in my career to the extent I have a career) hits hard. We're constantly striving towards more even as I want to yell "STAHP" and..well stop.
Alas we have the obligations now and who wants to move back into a tiny apartment with a kid just to stockpile more liquid cash.
Posted by: tsrlbke PhD(c), rogue bioethicist at September 23, 2016 12:15 PM (dzmBR)
4
Is this the thread where everyone shares their existential angst?
Yeah, no. I'll stay in the boobie thread.
Yeah, no. I'll stay in the boobie thread.
Posted by: Bandersnatch at September 23, 2016 12:17 PM (mgbwf)
5
"They moved our of our upper middle class neighborhood two years ago into a $500,000 home."
LMAO. Where I come from $500k gets you a two bedroom house next door to an illegal alien clown house.
LMAO. Where I come from $500k gets you a two bedroom house next door to an illegal alien clown house.
Posted by: Mark1971 at September 23, 2016 12:18 PM (gdnq1)
6
The first paragraph was confusing because I interpreted moving into a $500K house as a downgrade from an upper middle class neighborhood.
I assume this is somewhere other than SoCal or a similar housing market.
I assume this is somewhere other than SoCal or a similar housing market.
Posted by: Epobirs at September 23, 2016 12:18 PM (IdCqF)
7
One thing we can do to have happier lives- ignore the advice of real estate agents who tell you to buy as much house as you can afford. Being house poor means losing many other opportunities for an enriching family life.
Posted by: But You Can Refinance! at September 23, 2016 12:18 PM (aqvG3)
8
They can't go back. I'd be willing to bet this year's 401k that their money is already spent,because people will find a way to spend every dime they earn. Worse, I suspect a thrifty family making $60k/year with little debt and investing since their early 20s probably has more in savings/retirement than them, too.
Posted by: 16 paranoia filled days later at September 23, 2016 12:19 PM (x4zgf)
9
To me? Its not about how much money I make... its not about how big of a house I have...
Its about how much money I have left to just blow... how much I have left AFTER all the bills are paid.
Its about being able to just pay for that dinner, or hotel room... just... because...
Its about being able to just buy that new Saber I want.... or go to that show...
But that only comes from NOT being in debt... as of next month... I will have ZERO debt... on anything, after I make my last car payment (and the only reason I have a car payment is for Credit rating reasons)...
Its about how much money I have left to just blow... how much I have left AFTER all the bills are paid.
Its about being able to just pay for that dinner, or hotel room... just... because...
Its about being able to just buy that new Saber I want.... or go to that show...
But that only comes from NOT being in debt... as of next month... I will have ZERO debt... on anything, after I make my last car payment (and the only reason I have a car payment is for Credit rating reasons)...
Posted by: Don Deplorable at September 23, 2016 12:19 PM (qf6WZ)
10
Done something similar. Stuck with a job for 16 years. Now, 56 yo. Took the job because it was very short drive from home and the travel was almost nil.
Kids are now all adults. Recent RIF's have led to more travel requirements to third world s---houses. Unfun and unsafe.
But, now I am looking at the $$$ for 401k, paying off mortgage in 2 years. So, it's now a money trap afterall.
Kids are now all adults. Recent RIF's have led to more travel requirements to third world s---houses. Unfun and unsafe.
But, now I am looking at the $$$ for 401k, paying off mortgage in 2 years. So, it's now a money trap afterall.
Posted by: havildar-major at September 23, 2016 12:19 PM (jpW6t)
11
I have an awesome and demanding job and 100s of millions of people actually see my handywork.
That's a very rare thing and for that I'm greatful.
That's a very rare thing and for that I'm greatful.
Posted by: Kreplach at September 23, 2016 12:20 PM (WxiG/)
12
LMAO. Where I come from $500k gets you a two bedroom house next door to an illegal alien clown house.
Posted by: Mark1971 at September 23, 2016 12:18 PM (gdnq1)
Move.
$500K here varies depending on where you go, but in various quite nice parts of the suburbs it gets you at least 5 bedrooms, 4 baths, and probably north of 3500 sqft.
Yards very quite a bit, people trying to cram houses into the inner-ring of the suburbs have shitty yards (but then my house is 50 years old and my yard lacks privacy but is a very nice flat large yard, tradeoffs.)
If you want to move to the exurbs 500k will get you a custom built house and anywhere from 3-10 acres.
Posted by: Mark1971 at September 23, 2016 12:18 PM (gdnq1)
Move.
$500K here varies depending on where you go, but in various quite nice parts of the suburbs it gets you at least 5 bedrooms, 4 baths, and probably north of 3500 sqft.
Yards very quite a bit, people trying to cram houses into the inner-ring of the suburbs have shitty yards (but then my house is 50 years old and my yard lacks privacy but is a very nice flat large yard, tradeoffs.)
If you want to move to the exurbs 500k will get you a custom built house and anywhere from 3-10 acres.
Posted by: tsrlbke PhD(c), rogue bioethicist at September 23, 2016 12:20 PM (dzmBR)
Posted by: CharlieBrown'sDildo at September 23, 2016 12:21 PM (Zu3d9)
14
My mate and I purchased a house (an old church actually) that was less than half what we could have spent according to the 2 1/2 times your income rule. We're trying to slowly renovate the house so as not to take on debt. We cut our own hair. We both drive 10 year old cars that are paid off.
The B-I-L came to visit last month. He works hard (three jobs) but has no sense with money. He took two week-long vacations this summer. (we took one 4-day weekend). He's constantly borrowing money from my mate and mother-in-law to stay afloat. Just this morning, he asked for $300 to pay for his daughter's day care.
When he was visiting, one of the things he said was, "I don't understand you guys. If I had your income, I wouldn't be driving around in some old car; I'd have a brand new Escalade."
It's a mindset.
The B-I-L came to visit last month. He works hard (three jobs) but has no sense with money. He took two week-long vacations this summer. (we took one 4-day weekend). He's constantly borrowing money from my mate and mother-in-law to stay afloat. Just this morning, he asked for $300 to pay for his daughter's day care.
When he was visiting, one of the things he said was, "I don't understand you guys. If I had your income, I wouldn't be driving around in some old car; I'd have a brand new Escalade."
It's a mindset.
Posted by: V the K at September 23, 2016 12:21 PM (O7MnT)
15
We wouldn't be nearly as "trapped" chasing money if we didn't have to move to where "better schools" exist, i.e. where minorities don't.
Posted by: The Spelling Police at September 23, 2016 12:22 PM (6NIyO)
16
Hmmmm
I'm pretty much the same as warden
But I envy no one, I'm actually content after all these years
Now to get rid of the insane spawn and I'm golden
I'm pretty much the same as warden
But I envy no one, I'm actually content after all these years
Now to get rid of the insane spawn and I'm golden
Posted by: Ncj has an Ipad at September 23, 2016 12:22 PM (uSS4V)
Posted by: garrett at September 23, 2016 12:23 PM (q6nsK)
18
I would agree completely with taking a pay cut if you're gone 3 out of 4 weeks a month and you have children with the current job.
That is time you will never have back.
I don't know what kind of money we're talking about here, but I think most people could comfortably downsize from say a $500k house to a $350k and maybe a slightly older car, pretty easily.
That is time you will never have back.
I don't know what kind of money we're talking about here, but I think most people could comfortably downsize from say a $500k house to a $350k and maybe a slightly older car, pretty easily.
Posted by: Maritime at September 23, 2016 12:23 PM (fgAYu)
19
What an interesting day for this post. I work in the Pharma/device field. I took the most recent job with a small company that had just been acquired by an overseas company. I am the national director of my department and I live remotely from the office. The understanding was that we would continue to operate independently while they built up the new US entity. I had a very high profile position. Now, 2 years in, a few weeks after I get a letter promoting me to Senior Director with a raise, they fold my company under the new branded company. I get demoted now to Regional Manager but keep the same pay and actually have a bigger bonus by a few hundred dollars. There are people much less qualified than me who are directors and senior directors. My job is only 3 states and is an absolute cakewalk but I hate it.
A German company has approval for a direct competitor to our therapy and the COO called me from Germany to offer me the national Director position with a pay bump of about 10% and stock options which my current company doesn't offer. I don't know what to do. Go to the competitor and stick it to these clowns with more cash and stock options. Or keep the cake job that will probably stagnate and I will never move up because the company is filled with Cronies.
Help me Horde, you're my only hope...
A German company has approval for a direct competitor to our therapy and the COO called me from Germany to offer me the national Director position with a pay bump of about 10% and stock options which my current company doesn't offer. I don't know what to do. Go to the competitor and stick it to these clowns with more cash and stock options. Or keep the cake job that will probably stagnate and I will never move up because the company is filled with Cronies.
Help me Horde, you're my only hope...
Posted by: Timon at September 23, 2016 12:24 PM (396pH)
20
Are you happy with your choices? And if not, what is stopping you from taking a different path?
In answer to your question, I would say, I am content with my choices. I think happiness is an unrealistic ideal. Be content and occasionally happy. It's enough.
The most financially-setting-back thing I did was adopt three kids out of foster care. It impacted my savings and earnings as I passed up more lucrative opportunities to give my kids some stability. But I don't regret it.
In answer to your question, I would say, I am content with my choices. I think happiness is an unrealistic ideal. Be content and occasionally happy. It's enough.
The most financially-setting-back thing I did was adopt three kids out of foster care. It impacted my savings and earnings as I passed up more lucrative opportunities to give my kids some stability. But I don't regret it.
Posted by: V the K at September 23, 2016 12:24 PM (O7MnT)
Posted by: Kreplach at September 23, 2016 12:24 PM (WxiG/)
22
If you want to move to the exurbs 500k will get you a custom built house and anywhere from 3-10 acres.
Posted by: tsrlbke PhD(c), rogue bioethicist
And a 2 hour commute, each way. At least in DC.
Posted by: tsrlbke PhD(c), rogue bioethicist
And a 2 hour commute, each way. At least in DC.
Posted by: pep at September 23, 2016 12:25 PM (3e8zv)
23
The PAolo can help this woman and her marriage.
Posted by: Paolo at September 23, 2016 12:25 PM (q6nsK)
24
I had one of those very high paying jobs that required near total devotion to work (to the detriment of your family, and everything else). Yes, the pay was quite high.
Thankfully, I was able to convince my wife of the wisdom in buying a house well under what we could afford. When our first child came, I knew that I would not be able to maintain my position and have any chance at all of being there for my family.
Now, I'm looking for the next thing. It really comes down to where you place your priorities. Too many people value money too highly, I think. Your most precious commodity on this earth is time.
Thankfully, I was able to convince my wife of the wisdom in buying a house well under what we could afford. When our first child came, I knew that I would not be able to maintain my position and have any chance at all of being there for my family.
Now, I'm looking for the next thing. It really comes down to where you place your priorities. Too many people value money too highly, I think. Your most precious commodity on this earth is time.
Posted by: Revenant at September 23, 2016 12:25 PM (3DSAh)
25
I pretty much hate my job. I work in a poisonous work culture. I dislike my industry and most of my coworkers. I am bored, resentful, and simply phoning it in for a paycheck.
So, that "Hang in There, Baby!" cat poster in your cubicle is mostly ironic?
I pretty much hate my job. I work in a poisonous work culture. I dislike my industry and most of my coworkers. I am bored, resentful, and simply phoning it in for a paycheck.
So, that "Hang in There, Baby!" cat poster in your cubicle is mostly ironic?
Posted by: Laurie David's Cervix at September 23, 2016 12:26 PM (kdS6q)
26
Code Red -
I have passed up nice opportunities in big cities. Sure, I could have led to running a good sized IT organization, with a nice paycheck bonus.
I chose to be home every evening and be there for my child. I always read stories to her at bedtime. We did the Harry Potters, the Eragon series, and many others. Many times she would be out cold in dreamland and I found myself still reading pages (chapters) ahead. But I was always there.
You can't put a price on that. No paycheck is worth missing that. And I look forward to reading to grandchildren.
I have passed up nice opportunities in big cities. Sure, I could have led to running a good sized IT organization, with a nice paycheck bonus.
I chose to be home every evening and be there for my child. I always read stories to her at bedtime. We did the Harry Potters, the Eragon series, and many others. Many times she would be out cold in dreamland and I found myself still reading pages (chapters) ahead. But I was always there.
You can't put a price on that. No paycheck is worth missing that. And I look forward to reading to grandchildren.
Posted by: Our Country is Screwed at September 23, 2016 12:27 PM (jxbfJ)
27
And a 2 hour commute, each way. At least in DC.
Posted by: pep at September 23, 2016 12:25 PM (3e8zv)
Well we could do wonders reducing the cost ot live in DC by reducing the relevance of DC.
Posted by: pep at September 23, 2016 12:25 PM (3e8zv)
Well we could do wonders reducing the cost ot live in DC by reducing the relevance of DC.
Posted by: tsrlbke PhD(c), rogue bioethicist at September 23, 2016 12:27 PM (dzmBR)
28
And yet there's still that nagging sense of underachievement and wasted potential. I'd be lying if I said I didn't feel insecure and slightly embarrassed of my own middling accomplishments when socializing with high career achievers. This, despite knowing that my choices have been deliberate and well considered.
--------------
I know the feeling, but, resist, don't walk into that swamp.
I made the comment in the last thread, regarding that couple in the first painting, true contentment really isn't very dependent on material possession.
Consider: Brad Pitt, Angelina Jolie, or almost any celebrity couple.
Every night I marvel at and am thankful that we have a roof over our heads, we are dry, comfortable, and decently fed. Try as I might, I really do not think that my meager endeavors in life have justified such a good existence.
--------------
I know the feeling, but, resist, don't walk into that swamp.
I made the comment in the last thread, regarding that couple in the first painting, true contentment really isn't very dependent on material possession.
Consider: Brad Pitt, Angelina Jolie, or almost any celebrity couple.
Every night I marvel at and am thankful that we have a roof over our heads, we are dry, comfortable, and decently fed. Try as I might, I really do not think that my meager endeavors in life have justified such a good existence.
Posted by: Mike Hammer, etc., etc. at September 23, 2016 12:27 PM (9mTYi)
29
I'm a generation older, so maybe I can give a view from the other end of the telescope. My husband and I both assumed I'd go back to work when our youngest was nursery school age. I went back to a great job, nice money. We had a French nanny who rode a motorcycle. I only lasted two years.
Observations:
1. People say time is money. Not true. Time is much more fun than money.
2. An amazing percentage of the money I made went to supporting my job. Clothes, commuting, nanny, fast food. My coming home wasn't the financial haircut we had dreaded.
3. I assumed my kids were better off with me at home. I doubt they always were. I wasn't a world-class mother, I'm not sure I was even up to average.
4. Without realizing it, I assumed my kids would be so grateful to have me home, they'd be problem-free. Ha, ha. They didn't sign that contract.
But they are nice adults. Seriously nice. And each has chosen either to work from home or to work in ways that sacrifice career for time raising their kids.
Hope that helps.
Observations:
1. People say time is money. Not true. Time is much more fun than money.
2. An amazing percentage of the money I made went to supporting my job. Clothes, commuting, nanny, fast food. My coming home wasn't the financial haircut we had dreaded.
3. I assumed my kids were better off with me at home. I doubt they always were. I wasn't a world-class mother, I'm not sure I was even up to average.
4. Without realizing it, I assumed my kids would be so grateful to have me home, they'd be problem-free. Ha, ha. They didn't sign that contract.
But they are nice adults. Seriously nice. And each has chosen either to work from home or to work in ways that sacrifice career for time raising their kids.
Hope that helps.
Posted by: Wenda (sic) at September 23, 2016 12:27 PM (pZEKq)
30
@Timon: If you hate it, take the new one. Not being challenged is horrible long-term, and you could easily keep climbing the ladder at the new place (or get a similar opportunity later to leave them, too).
Posted by: 16 paranoia filled days later at September 23, 2016 12:27 PM (x4zgf)
31
There is enough similarity that yours could have been my position 14 Yeats ago. One option is to have your second career (post 50, kids in college) be the one that fully engages your skills and creativity. Use the first (now) to raise your kids and save enough for a cushion that makes a dramatic career shift at 50 seems possible without risking too much of what you have worked for. It is very energizing at a point in life where you need a jolt of energy to break out of the comfort zone.
Posted by: ZBBMcFate at September 23, 2016 12:27 PM (U+eGy)
Posted by: V the K at September 23, 2016 12:27 PM (O7MnT)
33
If families were to look at every (relatively major) purchase they make from the perspective of..."what did I have growing up"...they would spend half of what they do now.
Homes are bigger. Everyone (including teens) has a relatively new car, their own personal phone and plan, computers and tvs for everyone.
Going on multithousand dollar family vacations is seen as normal. Birthday parties for toddlers cost hundreds of dollars.
Appliances and power equipment are replaced rather than repaired.
Furniture is changed out like a pair of shoes.
The list is endless. I'm not saying people need to live in the stone age. But the constant reaching without recognizing how functional you were without all that crap destroys people and families.
Homes are bigger. Everyone (including teens) has a relatively new car, their own personal phone and plan, computers and tvs for everyone.
Going on multithousand dollar family vacations is seen as normal. Birthday parties for toddlers cost hundreds of dollars.
Appliances and power equipment are replaced rather than repaired.
Furniture is changed out like a pair of shoes.
The list is endless. I'm not saying people need to live in the stone age. But the constant reaching without recognizing how functional you were without all that crap destroys people and families.
Posted by: ajmojo at September 23, 2016 12:28 PM (1H9ox)
34
Never chase money. Not worth it.
Posted by: God at September 23, 2016 12:28 PM (lSxUE)
35
LMAO. Where I come from $500k gets you a two bedroom house next door to an illegal alien clown house.
Posted by: Mark1971
I had a friend that lived in SoCal and basically had the same dynamic.
He moved, and he's much happier.
I just don't think the math works in places like that unless you have a crazy, high paying job.
Most of the time, it's like you make like 30% more than other locations, but your mortgage or rent is 300% more with a crazy high cost of living on everything else as well.
Posted by: Mark1971
I had a friend that lived in SoCal and basically had the same dynamic.
He moved, and he's much happier.
I just don't think the math works in places like that unless you have a crazy, high paying job.
Most of the time, it's like you make like 30% more than other locations, but your mortgage or rent is 300% more with a crazy high cost of living on everything else as well.
Posted by: Maritime at September 23, 2016 12:28 PM (fgAYu)
36
The real trap is a wife who refuses to leave NYC even though the cost of living is insane.
For what we paid for our 2 bedroom 2 bath coop, could've gotten a fricking house with a yard and pool within commuting distance.
For what we paid for our 2 bedroom 2 bath coop, could've gotten a fricking house with a yard and pool within commuting distance.
Posted by: Tradd at September 23, 2016 12:28 PM (GSJcT)
37
I tried to 10 year old crappy car thing I got tired of wasting every single weekend doing work on those said crappy cars
Posted by: Soliloquy at September 23, 2016 12:28 PM (o+zlJ)
38
And yet there's still that nagging sense of underachievement and wasted potential. I'd be lying if I said I didn't feel insecure and slightly embarrassed of my own middling accomplishments when socializing with high career achievers. This, despite knowing that my choices have been deliberate and well considered.
I am retired now, but I was underemployed most of my professional career. Most of that is on me, for the choices I made, the biggest one being to remain in a state where the economy has been struggling for decades.
But on the other hand, I have had a great marriage and family, so I don't feel *too* bad about lost professional opportunities. But sometimes when I can't sleep at night, I think about things I could've done differently, what might have been.
I am retired now, but I was underemployed most of my professional career. Most of that is on me, for the choices I made, the biggest one being to remain in a state where the economy has been struggling for decades.
But on the other hand, I have had a great marriage and family, so I don't feel *too* bad about lost professional opportunities. But sometimes when I can't sleep at night, I think about things I could've done differently, what might have been.
Posted by: OregonMuse at September 23, 2016 12:28 PM (HRgiw)
39
The more you make the more you spend.
Life is short. I've decided not to pursue a bigger home in a tonier neighborhood and instead pay-off my current mortgage asap and keep the debt manageable. Why re-up a mortgage for 30 years if I've got 15 years already paid off?? To move into a town with higher property taxes?? To me this is basic economics and most sensible.
Life is short. I've decided not to pursue a bigger home in a tonier neighborhood and instead pay-off my current mortgage asap and keep the debt manageable. Why re-up a mortgage for 30 years if I've got 15 years already paid off?? To move into a town with higher property taxes?? To me this is basic economics and most sensible.
Posted by: dananjcon at September 23, 2016 12:28 PM (NpXoL)
40
Thanks for writing this. I'm with you. I pretty much could have written the same piece, but probably not as well.
This hit me at a good time in life and I really appreciate you posting it.
This hit me at a good time in life and I really appreciate you posting it.
Posted by: Morris at September 23, 2016 12:29 PM (oEq2J)
41
Volunteer work in a field you love. In my case, I love working with children, but difficult to support the household as a single-income in that field. So I teach Sunday School, and do volunteer tutoring at a local elementary school one day a week.
Posted by: exhelodrvr at September 23, 2016 12:29 PM (johcW)
Posted by: Joey 'two Trans Ams' Biden at September 23, 2016 12:29 PM (qZX9X)
43
Far too many still confuse wants and needs.
Case in point the iPhone7. It is a virtue signaling want versus the need for a simple mobile phone.
I keep telling the Millennials I work with who have to have the latest gadget that all it does is keep your bank account empty.
Case in point the iPhone7. It is a virtue signaling want versus the need for a simple mobile phone.
I keep telling the Millennials I work with who have to have the latest gadget that all it does is keep your bank account empty.
Posted by: Anna Puma at September 23, 2016 12:29 PM (QflKB)
44
I never understood how housing in S. Calif. could be so expensive, $1 million for a 3BR home with a lawn.
WTF?
How much f#cking money are y'all pulling down out there in L.A. ?????
I never understood how housing in S. Calif. could be so expensive, $1 million for a 3BR home with a lawn.
WTF?
How much f#cking money are y'all pulling down out there in L.A. ?????
Posted by: Sphynx at September 23, 2016 12:29 PM (OZmbA)
45
Help me Horde, you're my only hope...
Posted by: Timon at September 23, 2016 12:24 PM (396pH)
-------------------
Timon, unless I'm missing something, why on earth wouldn't you take this new job? Would it entail a move that you don't want, or something? Otherwise, better company, better job, better pay, better stock options - I don't see the downside.
I may have missed something though.
Posted by: Timon at September 23, 2016 12:24 PM (396pH)
-------------------
Timon, unless I'm missing something, why on earth wouldn't you take this new job? Would it entail a move that you don't want, or something? Otherwise, better company, better job, better pay, better stock options - I don't see the downside.
I may have missed something though.
Posted by: bluebell at September 23, 2016 12:29 PM (xpSCc)
46
And your friends should definitely get out of that house. Downsize to something more reasonable. Do that first before a career change. Then evaluate options.
Their kids honestly don't care how big their bedroom is. They want (and need) their father there.
Their kids honestly don't care how big their bedroom is. They want (and need) their father there.
Posted by: Our Country is Screwed at September 23, 2016 12:29 PM (jxbfJ)
47
Well we could do wonders reducing the cost ot live in DC by reducing the relevance of DC.
The worst part about living in DC is the exaggerated sense of self-importance of the people who live in DC.
Well we could do wonders reducing the cost ot live in DC by reducing the relevance of DC.
The worst part about living in DC is the exaggerated sense of self-importance of the people who live in DC.
Posted by: V the K at September 23, 2016 12:29 PM (O7MnT)
48
I haven't had a raise in 8 years and this has really hurt us. My husband, a retired fed employee hasn't had a raise in 3 out of the last 5 years and now has to pay for Medicare. And.... NO, he's not one of those lucky fed guys that made 200,000 a year. When he retired he was making 80,000. Our BC/BS continues to rise. We are now paying close to $700 per month for insurance, our utility bills continue to rise. We are making it but there is no money left for a vacation or anything like that.
Posted by: deplorablejewells45 at September 23, 2016 12:30 PM (zRZaJ)
49
I commute for three and a half hours a day and have been in a job I dislike for 15 years. It sucks, but there's one big reason for it: I can afford a house with a big yard. We can put relatives, dogs, and stepchildren in it. It's private, I can putter around on it, the dogs can run around and my wife knows that if her 87-year-old dad finally decides to get some help we can put him up. I wish I had more time but I made a choice. It's a matter of priorities and providing for my family is mine.
Posted by: joncelli, Longbow Afficianado and Phalangist at September 23, 2016 12:30 PM (RD7QR)
50
Timon, from your post it sounds like you hate the cake job.
Posted by: Deplorable @votermom at September 23, 2016 12:31 PM (Om16U)
51
I never understood how housing in S. Calif. could be so expensive, $1 million for a 3BR home with a lawn.
Arabs and Chinese with lots of cash are part of it. Restrictive zoning is another.
At the same time I moved to Ohio, I was offered a chance to pursue my dream job in San Diego. I looked at the housing market there and said, "Nope, not worth it."
Arabs and Chinese with lots of cash are part of it. Restrictive zoning is another.
At the same time I moved to Ohio, I was offered a chance to pursue my dream job in San Diego. I looked at the housing market there and said, "Nope, not worth it."
Posted by: V the K at September 23, 2016 12:31 PM (O7MnT)
52
Yo!
Posted by: Yo! at September 23, 2016 12:31 PM (GUS5p)
53
I got in an elevator the other day and I guy gets in with his 4 year old son and pulls the "You want to push the button, buddy?" "Go ahead, it the 11 button, buddy." Kid is not retarded but whatever he can't seem to muscle the intelligence to hit the right button. I think he hit the 4 and then the 6 button and was going to press all of them. "Don't hit them all buddy, just hit the 11. You know which one is 11, don't you buddy." The dad looks at me with that "isn't he great, and aren't I great for being such a great dad and teaching him in public" look. Like I should be appreciative of him wasting my time. I reached over hit the 11 button, followed by the door close button. And said "retard." I hate these new age fucking dads who display-parent as a show for everyone. Your kid may be special to you, but he's not to me.
Posted by: scofflaw_x at September 23, 2016 12:31 PM (fKBKZ)
54
So, how do you balance work and family life?
You sack up and pick one or the other.
You can't have both.
BTDT.
You sack up and pick one or the other.
You can't have both.
BTDT.
Posted by: rickb223 at September 23, 2016 12:32 PM (2El4P)
55
Posted by: ajmojo at September 23, 2016 12:28 PM (1H9ox)
I dunno, I'm right about what I had when I grew up. The housing crisis let us skip the starter home more or less, but we don't plan on moving in the near, or medium future (We don't think into "far" future when it comes to things like moving because it's too unpredictable.)
I have one new car, and one car with 80k miles on it. We plan on trading out that one when the new one is paid off in 4 more years similar to what my parents did.
As for the "Repair not replace." the nature of appliances has changed enough that I'm not sure that's practical anymore.
I dunno, I'm right about what I had when I grew up. The housing crisis let us skip the starter home more or less, but we don't plan on moving in the near, or medium future (We don't think into "far" future when it comes to things like moving because it's too unpredictable.)
I have one new car, and one car with 80k miles on it. We plan on trading out that one when the new one is paid off in 4 more years similar to what my parents did.
As for the "Repair not replace." the nature of appliances has changed enough that I'm not sure that's practical anymore.
Posted by: tsrlbke PhD(c), rogue bioethicist at September 23, 2016 12:32 PM (dzmBR)
56
I tried to 10 year old crappy car thing I got tired of wasting every single weekend doing work on those said crappy cars
Posted by: Soliloquy
Maybe this already true for you, but buy Japanese brands like Lexus/Toyota or Honda/Acura.
My wife and I both have Lexus that average about 150k miles and rarely have had issues. Maybe once a year it needs a repair.
I've had 3 Lexus in a row and my brother also has one with well over 100k miles and they have been crazy reliable.
Posted by: Soliloquy
Maybe this already true for you, but buy Japanese brands like Lexus/Toyota or Honda/Acura.
My wife and I both have Lexus that average about 150k miles and rarely have had issues. Maybe once a year it needs a repair.
I've had 3 Lexus in a row and my brother also has one with well over 100k miles and they have been crazy reliable.
Posted by: Maritime at September 23, 2016 12:33 PM (fgAYu)
57
I told each of my six, you spend a quarter of your young life working, try as hard as you can to find something you love, prepare for it, and stick with it. That's what I did and I found it rewarding. They all are more than AARP-eligible now, pretty much followed that course, and seem satisfied with their lives. That's all I can ask for.
Posted by: BillH at September 23, 2016 12:33 PM (84O26)
58
My kids hear "we can't afford that" a lot. But we've always shown them where the money goes (mortgage, private school) and they've been very aware of household finances cause we share those things with them and don't hide our conversations about money. They know when we have extra, they finally get consideration for their wants. It's all very transparent, cause they are not going to learn anywhere else. Also "less is more" and "be grateful for *everything" has been drilled in from the beginning.
Posted by: sfshutin at September 23, 2016 12:33 PM (096W9)
59
I think the fundamental question is: do you have enough money to live comfortably?
Not extravagantly, but comfortably. That does not mean regularly getting new cars, or expensive vacations, or expensive dinners out, or other luxuries, but rather eating reasonably well (at home), having the money to deal with emergencies and routine maintenance, not having the latest and greatest of everything, but not wanting for anything either.
If you have enough to live with reasonable comfort, don't have to scrimp to cover contingencies, and can regularly put money away, then ... you've got enough. Enjoy. Job choices thereafter should be made with money as a secondary consideration.
The key: not giving a rat's ass what anyone else thinks.
Not extravagantly, but comfortably. That does not mean regularly getting new cars, or expensive vacations, or expensive dinners out, or other luxuries, but rather eating reasonably well (at home), having the money to deal with emergencies and routine maintenance, not having the latest and greatest of everything, but not wanting for anything either.
If you have enough to live with reasonable comfort, don't have to scrimp to cover contingencies, and can regularly put money away, then ... you've got enough. Enjoy. Job choices thereafter should be made with money as a secondary consideration.
The key: not giving a rat's ass what anyone else thinks.
Posted by: Deplorable Jay Guevara at September 23, 2016 12:33 PM (SRKgf)
60
That guy with the half-million dollar house who travels all the time?
Can't really relate. Either I'm doing amazingly well financially or I'm on the verge of bankruptcy, struggling from paycheck to paycheck or project to project, boom or bust. You could say I've followed an unconventional career path.
I do know that 'follow your bliss' stuff is bullshit if you're a parent. Growing up, my kids didn't care if I was the Great American Artist. They cared very much, however, if they ate regularly and wellor got to wear decent clothes or go to the dentist or the doctor. Needs drive and you do what you must.
Can't really relate. Either I'm doing amazingly well financially or I'm on the verge of bankruptcy, struggling from paycheck to paycheck or project to project, boom or bust. You could say I've followed an unconventional career path.
I do know that 'follow your bliss' stuff is bullshit if you're a parent. Growing up, my kids didn't care if I was the Great American Artist. They cared very much, however, if they ate regularly and wellor got to wear decent clothes or go to the dentist or the doctor. Needs drive and you do what you must.
Posted by: troyriser at September 23, 2016 12:33 PM (OGbEB)
61
The worst part about living in DC is the exaggerated sense of self-importance of the people who live in DC.
Posted by: V the K at September 23, 2016 12:29 PM (O7MnT)
Were you sitting next to me at the wedding this past Saturday where I said EXACTLY THIS.
Wife and I are fighting off a DC move, but sadly it'll probably become necessary at some point for her.
Posted by: V the K at September 23, 2016 12:29 PM (O7MnT)
Were you sitting next to me at the wedding this past Saturday where I said EXACTLY THIS.
Wife and I are fighting off a DC move, but sadly it'll probably become necessary at some point for her.
Posted by: tsrlbke PhD(c), rogue bioethicist at September 23, 2016 12:33 PM (dzmBR)
62
We have always been frugal, something necessary when the kids were at home, but it became second nature, and now that the kids are out, we have built a really tidy nest egg. Our one extravagance was new cars, with warranties and whatnot. Early in our marriage we would spend ridiculous amounts of money keeping beaters running for one more month. It's been worth the car payments to have some peace of mind. But we always found good deals on economy cars with proven dependability.
Posted by: Pug Mahon at September 23, 2016 12:33 PM (RwwCT)
63
My marriage was deliberately blown up by my now-ex, and I've been unemployed for quite a while now. The only thing keeping me from saying if I could do it all over again I never would have married that woman, is my kids.
As far as material success, that was sabotaged along the way by a spending addicted wife. I didn't make YUUUGE money, but decent money, and she took it upon herself to spend every dime and then some.
I don't know how I would define success to anyone, as I've never experienced it.
As far as material success, that was sabotaged along the way by a spending addicted wife. I didn't make YUUUGE money, but decent money, and she took it upon herself to spend every dime and then some.
I don't know how I would define success to anyone, as I've never experienced it.
Posted by: Insomniac - Irredeemably Deplorable at September 23, 2016 12:34 PM (0mRoj)
64
Scofflaw-x
Relax pal. Kid hit the wrong button. IT HAPPENS.
You pulled that with some of my friends, the kid would've gotten a lesson in how daddy decks someone. Not worth making daddy look bad in front of sonny boy- daddy tends to not take it well
Relax pal. Kid hit the wrong button. IT HAPPENS.
You pulled that with some of my friends, the kid would've gotten a lesson in how daddy decks someone. Not worth making daddy look bad in front of sonny boy- daddy tends to not take it well
Posted by: Tradd at September 23, 2016 12:34 PM (GSJcT)
65
I'm a SAHM who homeschooles so we have a lot of togetherness.
My husband is an executive at an education startup. He travels a lot for work. Basically he works from home one week then goes into the office the next.
His company actually rented us a house so we could be together more, but it was destroyed in the Baton Rouge flood.
If we moved to BR permanently we'd be together more in theory, but in practice I'm not sure. Since he's able to work from home half the month when he's in town he's home.
My husband is an executive at an education startup. He travels a lot for work. Basically he works from home one week then goes into the office the next.
His company actually rented us a house so we could be together more, but it was destroyed in the Baton Rouge flood.
If we moved to BR permanently we'd be together more in theory, but in practice I'm not sure. Since he's able to work from home half the month when he's in town he's home.
Posted by: Lauren at September 23, 2016 12:34 PM (9iBwb)
66
Sounds like someone in his 30s. When you are in your 20s, you think you are going to do all kinds of great things, have a fantastic job, be living the high life or traveling the world, etc.
Then, you get to your 30s with a mortgage payment, car payment, young kids...and those dreams seem shattered. You come to realize that either your dreams in your 20s were never going to happen, or you are unable to make it happen due to other commitments and bills.
Don't despair! When you get into your 40s, the kids grow up, you start to figure out what you really are good at/like to do, you take bigger risks because you feel freer to do so (kids about to leave the house, you got that promotion with more pay, etc.).
Right now. I have a pretty awesome life. Sure I would love to make more money, but I can pay my bills, buy some stuff that I want, and can travel occasionally. I feel accomplished. I feel like some of my dreams have been achieved, except in a different, unanticipated way.
In my 30s, I felt financially behind, stressed, and never seemed to have any time. Not anymore.
When your kid start to go off to college, you really see the reward of that life you lived. The best part about parenting is seeing your child grow up and become his own person with his own interests and dreams.
I'm assuming my 50s will only be better...
Then, you get to your 30s with a mortgage payment, car payment, young kids...and those dreams seem shattered. You come to realize that either your dreams in your 20s were never going to happen, or you are unable to make it happen due to other commitments and bills.
Don't despair! When you get into your 40s, the kids grow up, you start to figure out what you really are good at/like to do, you take bigger risks because you feel freer to do so (kids about to leave the house, you got that promotion with more pay, etc.).
Right now. I have a pretty awesome life. Sure I would love to make more money, but I can pay my bills, buy some stuff that I want, and can travel occasionally. I feel accomplished. I feel like some of my dreams have been achieved, except in a different, unanticipated way.
In my 30s, I felt financially behind, stressed, and never seemed to have any time. Not anymore.
When your kid start to go off to college, you really see the reward of that life you lived. The best part about parenting is seeing your child grow up and become his own person with his own interests and dreams.
I'm assuming my 50s will only be better...
Posted by: K-E at September 23, 2016 12:34 PM (J23oQ)
67
I keep getting raises, I keep not spending the added money. Then people wonder why I'm not worried about money.
Money doesn't seem like it should be hard, and yet people make it so complicated.
Money doesn't seem like it should be hard, and yet people make it so complicated.
Posted by: Locarno at September 23, 2016 12:35 PM (gf9W3)
68
This one hits home for me. My wife filed for divorce after 30 years of marriage - our anniversary was 3 days ago. She spent it on Maui, the place we got married.
Money (too much) was the root of the problem. She became very successful in real estate. We got the house, and I allowed her to go overboard on the back yard. A pool I never wanted, hardscaping - looked like a magazine. The burn rate was incredible.
But then she started to feel she needed more and more. And suddenly I wasn't contributing enough. She kept saying that I was the one who wanted the money and nothing could be further from the truth. She felt she needed to move offices to raise her price point, a move I was against but it was her decision. It was a very bad move. She came back, but felt somehow it was a failure on her part. She couldn't stop spending. Then, she started the vacations. I didn't know (or want to) she was going with an old high school flame, who was also successful (inheritance helped).
In the end, I blame myself for not confronting the issue sooner and letting her go on this course. Of course, I'm the bad guy in all this. So, I move in with my mother at nearly 60 (I own the house, but still) and the wife lives in my house, with all my stuff and the divorce drags on and on.
I'd have been happy selling t-shirts on the beach as long as I was with her, and now I've not only lost my job but my family. Taking care of my mother who's in stage 3 dementia, and can't afford care for her. I love my in-laws and they're devastated. I've got to create a new life right at the time I thought we'd be wrapping it up. I've spent more money on lawyers than most people earn in a year - and I'm in debt for the same.
All this because of success. Screw the big house, screw the nice cars. We moved apart because of it - and it became a drive in my wife. She's greedy, and twisted - no longer the same person. Of course to be that deceptive for over a year, and taking advantage of my complete trust. Go fig.
When the time comes, discuss all the potential downsides to leaving your humble status and rising in the ranks. You can set that money aside, because at some point you will downsize and wonder what it was all about.
Money (too much) was the root of the problem. She became very successful in real estate. We got the house, and I allowed her to go overboard on the back yard. A pool I never wanted, hardscaping - looked like a magazine. The burn rate was incredible.
But then she started to feel she needed more and more. And suddenly I wasn't contributing enough. She kept saying that I was the one who wanted the money and nothing could be further from the truth. She felt she needed to move offices to raise her price point, a move I was against but it was her decision. It was a very bad move. She came back, but felt somehow it was a failure on her part. She couldn't stop spending. Then, she started the vacations. I didn't know (or want to) she was going with an old high school flame, who was also successful (inheritance helped).
In the end, I blame myself for not confronting the issue sooner and letting her go on this course. Of course, I'm the bad guy in all this. So, I move in with my mother at nearly 60 (I own the house, but still) and the wife lives in my house, with all my stuff and the divorce drags on and on.
I'd have been happy selling t-shirts on the beach as long as I was with her, and now I've not only lost my job but my family. Taking care of my mother who's in stage 3 dementia, and can't afford care for her. I love my in-laws and they're devastated. I've got to create a new life right at the time I thought we'd be wrapping it up. I've spent more money on lawyers than most people earn in a year - and I'm in debt for the same.
All this because of success. Screw the big house, screw the nice cars. We moved apart because of it - and it became a drive in my wife. She's greedy, and twisted - no longer the same person. Of course to be that deceptive for over a year, and taking advantage of my complete trust. Go fig.
When the time comes, discuss all the potential downsides to leaving your humble status and rising in the ranks. You can set that money aside, because at some point you will downsize and wonder what it was all about.
Posted by: clutch cargo at September 23, 2016 12:36 PM (RHEDC)
69
I am a stay at home Mom but my younger spawn is in 5th grade. About the time I started thinking about crawling back into the job grinder, the economy shit the bed, jobs disappeared and Papamayhem started having health problems that required someone to be available during the day. I am his legally authorized medical second so that's my job to be around if there's trouble. Now he is better and doing quite well for a dude going on 75 but getting a job would be tricky for me. Hubby mayhem is a truck driver who is out on the road 4 nights a week and an occasional Sat. Most of the jobs I'm qualified for require nights or weekend. So we tighten the budget and do without certain things to keep the bills paid. That's how it works for us. Regret? Nope. Wish the fuckers in D.C. would stop trying to kill the trucking industry and the coal industry? Yes. Very much.
Posted by: madamemayhem at September 23, 2016 12:36 PM (yTnCT)
70
Don't get me started.
Posted by: Tinkerstoevestochance at September 23, 2016 12:36 PM (WVZVH)
71
To me this is basic economics and most sensible.
Posted by: dananjcon at September 23, 2016 12:28 PM (NpXoL)
And of course you save money by not coming to the NY/NJ Moron Meet-ups.
[snooty Northeastern prick....]
Posted by: dananjcon at September 23, 2016 12:28 PM (NpXoL)
And of course you save money by not coming to the NY/NJ Moron Meet-ups.
[snooty Northeastern prick....]
Posted by: CharlieBrown'sDildo at September 23, 2016 12:36 PM (Zu3d9)
72
Spending for status is stupid. Why bother to impress people who don't care about you, and in many cases, don't even know you?
For example, buying a fancy car to impress total strangers on the freeway is madness.
During the housing crisis my family and I drove past a house that had two new cars, four ATVs, and a boat out front. I told my boys they had a lot of stuff we don't have. Including a foreclosure notice, which was affixed to the gate.
For example, buying a fancy car to impress total strangers on the freeway is madness.
During the housing crisis my family and I drove past a house that had two new cars, four ATVs, and a boat out front. I told my boys they had a lot of stuff we don't have. Including a foreclosure notice, which was affixed to the gate.
Posted by: Deplorable Jay Guevara at September 23, 2016 12:36 PM (SRKgf)
73
A few years ago I had my mid-life crisis at 45. I had a pretty good job doing property owner-side land use law (if anyone has heard of California's Ellis Act -- that's my specialty), owned a 1,000 sq ft condo in S.F. paying $932/mo mortgage (30 year fixed at 3.25%, yeah, biches!), and you'd think life was groovy. It wasn't. All my artistic-side dreams (band/music, books to write, etc.) were falling apart, I had no love life, I was approaching 50, etc. So I took a couple of years off full-time work (did some part-time legal briefing which I could afford with a low mortgage), ate a lot of pot brownies, learned to play keyboards, wrote music, started working on a novel, won an arbitration, won a tenant-side housing discrimination trial, met a special girl, and then decided that I had things pretty good and was ready to go back to defending property rights full time. I'm generally pretty happy back at the law job I started in 1997 and I've even knocked out a San Francisco anti-eviction law + have a bunch of important Ellis Act-related appeals (which I love) coming up. No band on the horizon though (booo, but if any morons play flute, piano, violin, cello, or sing, LMK) but I am working on the books and have a movie idea percolating. So all things considered, I'm pretty happy in my job and life.
Posted by: SFGoth at September 23, 2016 12:36 PM (dZ756)
74
Wife and I are fighting off a DC move, but sadly it'll probably become necessary at some point for her.
Posted by: tsrlbke PhD(c), rogue bioethicist
Let me know when you make the move. I want to watch the self-importance creep into your demeanor.
Posted by: tsrlbke PhD(c), rogue bioethicist
Let me know when you make the move. I want to watch the self-importance creep into your demeanor.
Posted by: pep at September 23, 2016 12:36 PM (3e8zv)
75
You think you have it bad? We were broke!!!
Posted by: Mr and Mrs Rodham at September 23, 2016 12:36 PM (1H9ox)
76
early this year i started rotating to Kurdistan to work as a drilling foreman for the company I work for. This involved a substantial pay raise (my take home pay went up 150%) but it also meant working a 28 on/28 off schedule where my travel days counted against my days off so I was only really home for 24 days and gone for 32. It was hell on my marriage. My wife hates living in Dallas. The one thing she likes about living here is that we are together (we have had to do 2 stints of long distance in our relationship) so with that gone she was absolutely miserable.
After my 2nd hitch overseas the boss asked if I could come back to work in the office. It was *really* hard to give up that money but I had chose what was best for my marriage so I said I could.
Fortunately, I make good money even working in the office and we never really had a chance to get accustomed to the extra money of the overseas work. So it didn't feel like we were trapped.
After my 2nd hitch overseas the boss asked if I could come back to work in the office. It was *really* hard to give up that money but I had chose what was best for my marriage so I said I could.
Fortunately, I make good money even working in the office and we never really had a chance to get accustomed to the extra money of the overseas work. So it didn't feel like we were trapped.
Posted by: the real ch3 at September 23, 2016 12:36 PM (IG5KL)
77
Far too many still confuse wants and needs.
Posted by: Anna Puma at September 23, 2016 12:29 PM (QflKB)
---------------
^^This^^
My husband works hard, is a wonderful husband and father, and provides for us mighty well. Of course, there are many around us who make a lot more, and many more who do way way better because the wife continued working by choice (not necessity) after having children. We went the old-fashioned route of me, very happily, staying home to raise our children. It wasn't easy, but it was worth it. Not everyone has that choice, I know that well.
So lots of others here have way more than us, but I tell our kids that we are rich. Why? Because we have everything we need, and a little bit of what we want.
That is success and richness to me. I don't want any more than we have - too much to worry about.
You want to be working to live, not living to work. Make those choices that bring happiness to your family, to the extent that you can.
Posted by: Anna Puma at September 23, 2016 12:29 PM (QflKB)
---------------
^^This^^
My husband works hard, is a wonderful husband and father, and provides for us mighty well. Of course, there are many around us who make a lot more, and many more who do way way better because the wife continued working by choice (not necessity) after having children. We went the old-fashioned route of me, very happily, staying home to raise our children. It wasn't easy, but it was worth it. Not everyone has that choice, I know that well.
So lots of others here have way more than us, but I tell our kids that we are rich. Why? Because we have everything we need, and a little bit of what we want.
That is success and richness to me. I don't want any more than we have - too much to worry about.
You want to be working to live, not living to work. Make those choices that bring happiness to your family, to the extent that you can.
Posted by: bluebell at September 23, 2016 12:37 PM (xpSCc)
78
Money matters, though I don't buy the "trapped" argument. One can downsize. Drive old cars. Get a smaller house. Rent. Use old phones. Learn to cook.
I've done it. It hurts at first, but you adapt and eventually it's normal. The place my family lives now is the smallest we've ever lived since having kids, and we now have three (who share a bedroom). But we also have surplus money every month. It's nice not having to worry about money and see your reserves grow. And once it's "normal," it doesn't even feel like a sacrifice.
After I move off to begin my new job I've already accepted in 18 months or so, we'll have quite a savings accumulated, three paid-off cars, a kick-ass laptop usable for both play and work, and my wife won't have to work anymore.
In the new place, we will continue the trend; smaller place than we could otherwise afford to save money, though one with a yard. Will homeschool children to avoid entanglement with the idiocy of public school.
We don't care about luxuries, etc. But we do care about accumulating a fortune meaningful enough to live on in our final days and pass on to our kids.
I've done it. It hurts at first, but you adapt and eventually it's normal. The place my family lives now is the smallest we've ever lived since having kids, and we now have three (who share a bedroom). But we also have surplus money every month. It's nice not having to worry about money and see your reserves grow. And once it's "normal," it doesn't even feel like a sacrifice.
After I move off to begin my new job I've already accepted in 18 months or so, we'll have quite a savings accumulated, three paid-off cars, a kick-ass laptop usable for both play and work, and my wife won't have to work anymore.
In the new place, we will continue the trend; smaller place than we could otherwise afford to save money, though one with a yard. Will homeschool children to avoid entanglement with the idiocy of public school.
We don't care about luxuries, etc. But we do care about accumulating a fortune meaningful enough to live on in our final days and pass on to our kids.
Posted by: Apostate at September 23, 2016 12:37 PM (8hqz+)
79
What they should do is what people in SF do... quit the corporate job so they can no longer afford to live in the city. Get a job as a yoga teacher and start a blog about how everyone working in a corporate job (i.e. tech) is driving up the costs and ruining the city. "It's no longer a place where artists and yoga teachers can afford to live."
Which simply means in a capitalist society: the people in your community don't find the value you provide to be worth much.
Which simply means in a capitalist society: the people in your community don't find the value you provide to be worth much.
Posted by: scofflaw_x at September 23, 2016 12:37 PM (fKBKZ)
80
50 Timon, from your post it sounds like you hate the cake job.
Posted by: Deplorable @votermom at September 23, 2016 12:31 PM (Om16U)
I hate it. I report to a guy who isn't fit to shine my shoes and he is micro-managing the hell out of me. He went to grad school with the idiot that he reports to and that clown has his nose so far up the VP's ass that he followed from another company. It is fucking crony-ville
Posted by: Deplorable @votermom at September 23, 2016 12:31 PM (Om16U)
I hate it. I report to a guy who isn't fit to shine my shoes and he is micro-managing the hell out of me. He went to grad school with the idiot that he reports to and that clown has his nose so far up the VP's ass that he followed from another company. It is fucking crony-ville
Posted by: Timon at September 23, 2016 12:37 PM (396pH)
81
I never understood how housing in S. Calif. could be so expensive, $1 million for a 3BR home with a lawn.
______________
The Prop 13 that freezes your property tax at the time of purchase is a big part of it. It was passed 40 or so years ago.
People sit on their property forever and never sell, it creates a scarcity and new construction is difficult.
If Prop 13 is ever repealed and property tax "floats" like basically every other state, it will destroy California real estate. It's probably only a matter of time though because the locusts always need more revenue.
So many people rent as well, it wouldn't be a tough sale to voters to go after the 1%.
______________
The Prop 13 that freezes your property tax at the time of purchase is a big part of it. It was passed 40 or so years ago.
People sit on their property forever and never sell, it creates a scarcity and new construction is difficult.
If Prop 13 is ever repealed and property tax "floats" like basically every other state, it will destroy California real estate. It's probably only a matter of time though because the locusts always need more revenue.
So many people rent as well, it wouldn't be a tough sale to voters to go after the 1%.
Posted by: Maritime at September 23, 2016 12:37 PM (fgAYu)
82
I took just over a 60% paycut when I moved from PA to NC. You know what else I did?
I stopped making lists of the pros and cons of becoming an alcoholic and I stopped sobbing in the car in the parking lot at work in the morning because the thought of walking in there was so awful.
There is no amount of money that would get me to go back to my former job. None. In fact, my former employers thought that they would be able to get me to come back and I cut off the conversation about two sentences in with "You have nothing that I want." They did not know how to deal with that because, obviously, I was just grief stricken when I quit and I would want to come back and they were magnanimously offering me that chance, though there would be changes to the compensation structure. Nope. They had nothing that I wanted and I said that four or five times and the message finally went through.
Is this where I would most want to end up? No. But I only have one set of parents and I am the one in the position to help them and that's what matters. The rest is just stuff.
The above being said, there is another part to that story. I quit about two years before I finally left and the firm made me an absolutely ridiculous counteroffer that was enough money to get me to come back. Because of that, I was in the financial position to walk in, say "I quit" and walk out when circumstances arose that made that necessary.
I stopped making lists of the pros and cons of becoming an alcoholic and I stopped sobbing in the car in the parking lot at work in the morning because the thought of walking in there was so awful.
There is no amount of money that would get me to go back to my former job. None. In fact, my former employers thought that they would be able to get me to come back and I cut off the conversation about two sentences in with "You have nothing that I want." They did not know how to deal with that because, obviously, I was just grief stricken when I quit and I would want to come back and they were magnanimously offering me that chance, though there would be changes to the compensation structure. Nope. They had nothing that I wanted and I said that four or five times and the message finally went through.
Is this where I would most want to end up? No. But I only have one set of parents and I am the one in the position to help them and that's what matters. The rest is just stuff.
The above being said, there is another part to that story. I quit about two years before I finally left and the firm made me an absolutely ridiculous counteroffer that was enough money to get me to come back. Because of that, I was in the financial position to walk in, say "I quit" and walk out when circumstances arose that made that necessary.
Posted by: alexthechick - unskewed at September 23, 2016 12:38 PM (mf5HN)
83
Hardly, I build things that a great many people see.
Posted by: Kreplach at September 23, 2016 12:24 PM (WxiG/)
And I tell jokes that very few people find funny....
Posted by: Kreplach at September 23, 2016 12:24 PM (WxiG/)
And I tell jokes that very few people find funny....
Posted by: CharlieBrown'sDildo at September 23, 2016 12:38 PM (Zu3d9)
84
I was a cop before med school, so I've had two "exciting" careers. Police work was great, the first year. Everyday something different. the second year, not so much. There are only so many ways to write a burglary report, and nothing happens with them anyway. There is NO way to help anyone on a domestic dispute call. You just hope to hold down the violence, and it always seemed that we were trying to come up with workable solutions to insoluble problems. So after awhile, just a job.
Medicine much the same. At first, really exciting and interesting. I did ER work early on, and after awhile, like police work, you end up seeing the same things over and over. I moved on family practice, and at least had long term relationships and made a difference in some lives. But in fact, most of your day is coughs, colds and sore throats, and trying to get people to make lifestyle changes that will never happen, so, just a job..
Fortunately, my very wise missus grew up poor, and managed our money. We lived pretty simply, especially compared to my peers, who were always trying to find more ways to squeeze more money out of medicine, and were pretty miserable in their own lives, and frequently in the lives of people who had to deal with them..Many times my kids begged us to get a boat. We live on a lake, but only have 21/2 months of summer. We realized that the only way to justify the cost of a boat was to be out on it every weekend and many weeknights, and we had lots of other things to do with sports and music, and church. So, no boat. and the kids aged out and away, and we would have still had a boat.. Now in retirement, my kids are great and really good parents. they mostly make solid decisions about time and money, and due to my missus, I retired at 56.. I was lucky in who I married..
Medicine much the same. At first, really exciting and interesting. I did ER work early on, and after awhile, like police work, you end up seeing the same things over and over. I moved on family practice, and at least had long term relationships and made a difference in some lives. But in fact, most of your day is coughs, colds and sore throats, and trying to get people to make lifestyle changes that will never happen, so, just a job..
Fortunately, my very wise missus grew up poor, and managed our money. We lived pretty simply, especially compared to my peers, who were always trying to find more ways to squeeze more money out of medicine, and were pretty miserable in their own lives, and frequently in the lives of people who had to deal with them..Many times my kids begged us to get a boat. We live on a lake, but only have 21/2 months of summer. We realized that the only way to justify the cost of a boat was to be out on it every weekend and many weeknights, and we had lots of other things to do with sports and music, and church. So, no boat. and the kids aged out and away, and we would have still had a boat.. Now in retirement, my kids are great and really good parents. they mostly make solid decisions about time and money, and due to my missus, I retired at 56.. I was lucky in who I married..
Posted by: macleod at September 23, 2016 12:38 PM (5NEuS)
85
I can relate to this so much. I work in an office and I feel slightly embarrassed that I'm one of only a handful of males that are hourly and have to use a time clock because the rest of them are all salaried. I know I shouldn't feel this way because there are lots of people who probably have it much worse but I still can't help feeling like I'm behind everyone else. But luckily I'm not even 30 yet and unmarried with no children so I still have lots of time to catch up.
Posted by: Independent George (or the commenter formerly known as Serenity Now!) at September 23, 2016 12:38 PM (BDZWU)
86
I don't post in the comments too often here, but I have been having some internal conflict/restlessness with this type of thing.
The wife and are 36/35 y/o DINKs. We just closed our small business that we started 4 years ago as a side gig. Didn't lose money, didn't make much money, it was really a passion project that didn't turn into a full-time career for the wife. We have a mortgage, some substantial student loan debt, and are now in the process of trying to have kids and grow our family.
I've been feeling lately as though we've "missed the boat". That while I feel ok with our financial situation, we don't really have the freedom to take a vacation whenever we want, and the thought of one of us needing to buy a new (used) car soon is really stressful. I've been feeling like I've managed my career and our financial situation wrong so that now we're in a bad spot and it's going to be tough to have that comfortable living for our future family.
Maybe it's not the best thing to say but t's comforting to know that everyone has their own similar struggles.
The wife and are 36/35 y/o DINKs. We just closed our small business that we started 4 years ago as a side gig. Didn't lose money, didn't make much money, it was really a passion project that didn't turn into a full-time career for the wife. We have a mortgage, some substantial student loan debt, and are now in the process of trying to have kids and grow our family.
I've been feeling lately as though we've "missed the boat". That while I feel ok with our financial situation, we don't really have the freedom to take a vacation whenever we want, and the thought of one of us needing to buy a new (used) car soon is really stressful. I've been feeling like I've managed my career and our financial situation wrong so that now we're in a bad spot and it's going to be tough to have that comfortable living for our future family.
Maybe it's not the best thing to say but t's comforting to know that everyone has their own similar struggles.
Posted by: jreffy at September 23, 2016 12:39 PM (wX0ke)
87
Posted by: clutch cargo at September 23, 2016 12:36 PM (RHEDC)
I'm so sorry to hear your story. You sound like a good guy who deserves a lot better, and I hope things look up for you.
I'm so sorry to hear your story. You sound like a good guy who deserves a lot better, and I hope things look up for you.
Posted by: Deplorable Jay Guevara at September 23, 2016 12:39 PM (SRKgf)
88
Let me know when you make the move. I want to watch the self-importance creep into your demeanor.
Posted by: pep at September 23, 2016 12:36 PM (3e8zv)
I'm a high IQ arrogant prick already, there's no creeping at all on that front.
Posted by: pep at September 23, 2016 12:36 PM (3e8zv)
I'm a high IQ arrogant prick already, there's no creeping at all on that front.
Posted by: tsrlbke PhD(c), rogue bioethicist at September 23, 2016 12:39 PM (dzmBR)
Posted by: Seamus Muldoon at September 23, 2016 12:39 PM (wPiJc)
90
Very interesting stories... keep them coming.
One thing I would mention is spousal compatibility in three very key areas and in no order.
Sex, Spending, child rearing.
It really is critical to be sympatico in all three or it's gonna be a fail.
One thing I would mention is spousal compatibility in three very key areas and in no order.
Sex, Spending, child rearing.
It really is critical to be sympatico in all three or it's gonna be a fail.
Posted by: havildar-major at September 23, 2016 12:40 PM (jpW6t)
91
I fell into my job of doing software development in the bay area. I work from home and have been around for my kids as they have grown.
I could find a job paying 30-50%+ more, but then I would be out of the house at 7 am and not home until after 7pm.
It's not worth it.
I could find a job paying 30-50%+ more, but then I would be out of the house at 7 am and not home until after 7pm.
It's not worth it.
Posted by: redchief at September 23, 2016 12:40 PM (Kab4E)
92
Wow, now this is how you sneak a buddy into the Federal work force.
Temporary job with an announcement period of only three days.
https://www.usajobs.gov/GetJob/ViewDetails/451129000/
Temporary job with an announcement period of only three days.
https://www.usajobs.gov/GetJob/ViewDetails/451129000/
Posted by: Anna Puma at September 23, 2016 12:40 PM (QflKB)
93
I tried to 10 year old crappy car thing I got tired of wasting every single weekend doing work on those said crappy cars
Posted by: Soliloquy at September 23, 2016 12:28 PM (o+zlJ)
You are picking the wrong age of used cars. Either get year-old or two year old ones that still have some newness and warranty left in them, or go straight to the 20 year and older, stuff that's old enough that the tech for working on them has become commonplace.
Posted by: Soliloquy at September 23, 2016 12:28 PM (o+zlJ)
You are picking the wrong age of used cars. Either get year-old or two year old ones that still have some newness and warranty left in them, or go straight to the 20 year and older, stuff that's old enough that the tech for working on them has become commonplace.
Posted by: Alberta Oil Peon at September 23, 2016 12:41 PM (Bvr/A)
94
I'm glad I worked some pretty rowdy jobs as a kid (trash truck, concrete plant, etc). A summer or two spent among rough men with a gritty job to do and scant patience is a pretty worthwhile education on several levels.
Posted by: General Zod at September 23, 2016 12:41 PM (Bdeb0)
95
Wow... I could've written that.
I'm a software and database developer, up until recently a full-stack web developer, but I'm getting fed up with it. The only way to make good money is to be a contractor, but that for me means working through staffing agencies who charge the clients 2-3x what I get paid. That's more than a little frustrating, especially when I get nothing from them for the money I'm earning, except a free lunch every few months. I've tried full-time work but that means you're a slave in terms of working hours. Database crashed at 3am on a Sunday? Get up and fix it, you have no choice, but as a contractor? If it's a contractual responsibility, I'm on it, if not, we'll talk first.
Web development has its own frustrations when looking for a job. Hiring managers are generally idiots. "We need someone with 5 yrs of experience with this obscure Javascript library that's only been around for 2 years", and similar nonsense. My current assignment is very database-intensive, and it's gotten me interested in going down that path.
My plan is to start a blog (actually it's already running, just offline until I get a few articles together for it) and use that to market myself as a database developer/DBA resource, and hopefully pick up some clients independently of the greedy staffing firms.
I'm a software and database developer, up until recently a full-stack web developer, but I'm getting fed up with it. The only way to make good money is to be a contractor, but that for me means working through staffing agencies who charge the clients 2-3x what I get paid. That's more than a little frustrating, especially when I get nothing from them for the money I'm earning, except a free lunch every few months. I've tried full-time work but that means you're a slave in terms of working hours. Database crashed at 3am on a Sunday? Get up and fix it, you have no choice, but as a contractor? If it's a contractual responsibility, I'm on it, if not, we'll talk first.
Web development has its own frustrations when looking for a job. Hiring managers are generally idiots. "We need someone with 5 yrs of experience with this obscure Javascript library that's only been around for 2 years", and similar nonsense. My current assignment is very database-intensive, and it's gotten me interested in going down that path.
My plan is to start a blog (actually it's already running, just offline until I get a few articles together for it) and use that to market myself as a database developer/DBA resource, and hopefully pick up some clients independently of the greedy staffing firms.
Posted by: Gran of the Deplorables at September 23, 2016 12:42 PM (XIXhw)
96
Most people would say your old friends are morons - and not in the flattering sense. Looking at your friends unnecessary expenditures, most people would say, if I had that kind of money, I could get the new roof I need, the new furnace, the muffler for the car. Your friends don't have that perspective, it is utterly foreign to them. But no wonder they would be resented for it. That you have some sense should be applauded. I'm not saying your friends are bad people as most people would follow the same trail, getting caught up in lifestyles and expectations and desires. Even people who live paycheck to paycheck spend frivolously if they get extra money, knowing they shouldn't. Appreciating what you've got is the hardest thing to do.
Posted by: Crispian at September 23, 2016 12:42 PM (n9Zp5)
97
I never understood how housing in S. Calif. could be so expensive, $1 million for a 3BR home with a lawn.
WTF?
How much f#cking money are y'all pulling down out there in L.A. ?????
Posted by: Sphynx at September 23, 2016 12:29 PM (OZmbA)
Its all about debt....
If the Feds Raise interest rates at all... the entire Housing industry in Big City California fails.
WTF?
How much f#cking money are y'all pulling down out there in L.A. ?????
Posted by: Sphynx at September 23, 2016 12:29 PM (OZmbA)
Its all about debt....
If the Feds Raise interest rates at all... the entire Housing industry in Big City California fails.
Posted by: Don Deplorable at September 23, 2016 12:42 PM (qf6WZ)
98
You are picking the wrong age of used cars. Either get year-old or two year old ones that still have some newness and warranty left in them, or go straight to the 20 year and older, stuff that's old enough that the tech for working on them has become commonplace.
Posted by: Alberta Oil Peon at September 23, 2016 12:41 PM (Bvr/A)
We looked at 2 year old minivans. Most had north of 40k miles and it only saved about $3k. And when you factored in the interest rate differences the savings were more or less nil.
Posted by: Alberta Oil Peon at September 23, 2016 12:41 PM (Bvr/A)
We looked at 2 year old minivans. Most had north of 40k miles and it only saved about $3k. And when you factored in the interest rate differences the savings were more or less nil.
Posted by: tsrlbke PhD(c), rogue bioethicist at September 23, 2016 12:42 PM (dzmBR)
99
There's a name for it that I saw many years ago: LIMES - Less Income More Emotional Satisfaction.
Posted by: Auntie Doodles at September 23, 2016 12:42 PM (VnNi7)
100
@Tradd: "You pulled that with some of my friends, the kid would've gotten a lesson in how daddy decks someone."
1) kid hits wrong buttons
2) dad doesn't correct, so elevator is being progressively screwed up
3) passenger hits the right button before problem gets worse, mutters mean thing
4) dad hits passenger
Good parenting, right there.
1) kid hits wrong buttons
2) dad doesn't correct, so elevator is being progressively screwed up
3) passenger hits the right button before problem gets worse, mutters mean thing
4) dad hits passenger
Good parenting, right there.
Posted by: Apostate at September 23, 2016 12:43 PM (8hqz+)
101
I used to like to work (career Navy). Now I work to live. It's not particularly difficult, rewarding, or even upwardly mobile, but the pay is very good in relation to the effort I have to put in. It works for me, and life is good.
Posted by: Jeff Weimer at September 23, 2016 12:43 PM (0Y6mc)
102
We don't care about luxuries, etc. But we do care about accumulating a fortune meaningful enough to live on in our final days and pass on to our kids.
Posted by: Apostate at September 23, 2016 12:37 PM (8hqz+)
This.
Posted by: Apostate at September 23, 2016 12:37 PM (8hqz+)
This.
Posted by: Deplorable Jay Guevara at September 23, 2016 12:43 PM (SRKgf)
103
Family first-- It leads to GREAT things. Looking at one of my 11y ear old's book covers they made, I noticed a phrase hand written at the bottom front. It said:
"A lot of people don't believe in superheros.
They've never met my Dad."
I was STUNNED!
"A lot of people don't believe in superheros.
They've never met my Dad."
I was STUNNED!
Posted by: rld77 WAY down south at September 23, 2016 12:43 PM (zwpYr)
104
Posted by: clutch cargo at September 23, 2016 12:36 PM (RHEDC)
Sorry man. I really do feel for you.
Sorry man. I really do feel for you.
Posted by: Insomniac - Irredeemably Deplorable at September 23, 2016 12:43 PM (0mRoj)
105
These days a man (more so than a woman) is one major medical or health issue from being destroyed.
On a side note I like this Warden guy. Spending time with your Children, the bonds, and the memories with them are the most important things you will ever give them and they. Oils give you. We have been fed lies/brainwashed about the importance of keeping up with the Jones, and people (I speak as a man and from men I know age 45 and younger) are waking up and are very pissed off.
On a side note I like this Warden guy. Spending time with your Children, the bonds, and the memories with them are the most important things you will ever give them and they. Oils give you. We have been fed lies/brainwashed about the importance of keeping up with the Jones, and people (I speak as a man and from men I know age 45 and younger) are waking up and are very pissed off.
Posted by: Pepe, The Irredeemable at September 23, 2016 12:43 PM (Y9g6h)
106
When I bought a house 9 years ago I borrowed much less than than the loan officer offered and stayed well within my means. I had a house picked that has served my family of four well and stayed out of all debt-cars, credit card etc.... Last few years I have started to make significantly better money but instead of buying more stuff, bigger house, vacations I have put every penny toward the mortgage.. Payments should be done in November. I will then be debt free, without the mortgage asterisk Painful writing those huge monthly checks past 3 years but the relief I feel at not having a mortgage in two more months is incredible
I intend to stay out of debt and may start to spend some money on travel or toys as long as I can pay cash. I may even move up in house but only with whatever cash I can get from sale of existing home and I can save. No more debt for me, ever. You could not pay me to borrow moneyagain. Screw that.
I intend to stay out of debt and may start to spend some money on travel or toys as long as I can pay cash. I may even move up in house but only with whatever cash I can get from sale of existing home and I can save. No more debt for me, ever. You could not pay me to borrow moneyagain. Screw that.
Posted by: Ripley at September 23, 2016 12:43 PM (1BQGO)
107
So take the new job, Timon.
And buy a buttload of stuff from my blog with your 10% raise!
Link in nic.
You're welcome!
And buy a buttload of stuff from my blog with your 10% raise!
Link in nic.
You're welcome!
Posted by: Deplorable @votermom at September 23, 2016 12:43 PM (Om16U)
108
I'm retired (comfortably, thank God.)
This is one of the saddest post I have ever read. I wish I had words of wisdom, or solace, or whatever. But I am not a politician. Perhaps silence is best.
This is one of the saddest post I have ever read. I wish I had words of wisdom, or solace, or whatever. But I am not a politician. Perhaps silence is best.
Posted by: Coarsehair at September 23, 2016 12:44 PM (nQnBl)
Posted by: OCBill at September 23, 2016 12:44 PM (df+Zi)
110
Is this where I would most want to end up? No. But I only have one set of parents and I am the one in the position to help them and that's what matters. The rest is just stuff.
And you might not have strippers for clients otherwise.
And you might not have strippers for clients otherwise.
Posted by: buzzion at September 23, 2016 12:44 PM (bMG0w)
111
If you are blessed with a happy and healthy family, you have EVERYTHING and if the life choices you make maintain the health and happiness of your family, then you are making all the right moves.
Posted by: RondinellaMamma at September 23, 2016 12:44 PM (2Eu3v)
112
"A lot of people don't believe in superheros.
They've never met my Dad."
I was STUNNED!
Posted by: rld77 WAY down south at September 23, 2016 12:43 PM (zwpYr)
--------
wow....
damn allergies flared up
They've never met my Dad."
I was STUNNED!
Posted by: rld77 WAY down south at September 23, 2016 12:43 PM (zwpYr)
--------
wow....
damn allergies flared up
Posted by: fixerupper at September 23, 2016 12:44 PM (8XRCm)
113
98 You are picking the wrong age of used cars. Either get year-old or two year old ones that still have some newness and warranty left in them, or go straight to the 20 year and older, stuff that's old enough that the tech for working on them has become commonplace.
Posted by: Alberta Oil Peon at September 23, 2016 12:41 PM (Bvr/A)
2-year old used cars or expensive enough to just bite down and buy new, the value proposition with interest rates (for one) just isn't there.
Posted by: Alberta Oil Peon at September 23, 2016 12:41 PM (Bvr/A)
2-year old used cars or expensive enough to just bite down and buy new, the value proposition with interest rates (for one) just isn't there.
Posted by: Jeff Weimer at September 23, 2016 12:45 PM (0Y6mc)
114
I was lucky in that I didn't have to take a pay cut to move from DC to Ohio; the cost of living is about 25% lower here.
It's amazing how many of the people we left behind thought we were moving to the Third World.
It's amazing how many of the people we left behind thought we were moving to the Third World.
Posted by: V the K at September 23, 2016 12:45 PM (O7MnT)
115
How much f#cking money are y'all pulling down out there in L.A. ?????
Posted by: Sphynx at September 23, 2016 12:29 PM (OZmbA)
The mortgage rule of thumb used to be 3X gross income. In California, lenders use 4X, IIRC. So there's a partial answer.
Posted by: Sphynx at September 23, 2016 12:29 PM (OZmbA)
The mortgage rule of thumb used to be 3X gross income. In California, lenders use 4X, IIRC. So there's a partial answer.
Posted by: Deplorable Jay Guevara at September 23, 2016 12:45 PM (SRKgf)
116
My wife and I don't love our jobs but they pay the bills and we're happy with life outside of work. The only nagging thing for me is that I feel like I've stumbled back-assward into every good thing in my life. Without planning to I put myself in positions that worked out pretty well.
I'm still bothered that I never tried to plan it all out. Not guilty feeling, just confused.
I'm still bothered that I never tried to plan it all out. Not guilty feeling, just confused.
Posted by: Drewbicle at September 23, 2016 12:46 PM (Jdl4q)
117
A German company has approval for a direct competitor to our therapy and the COO called me from Germany to offer me the national Director position with a pay bump of about 10% and stock options which my current company doesn't offer. I don't know what to do. Go to the competitor and stick it to these clowns with more cash and stock options. Or keep the cake job that will probably stagnate and I will never move up because the company is filled with Cronies.
Help me Horde, you're my only hope...
Posted by: Timon at September 23, 2016 12:24 PM (396pH)
Timon, my best guess is that the German company is going to buy out your current employer within, at best, 2 to 2 1/2 years. Get out while the getting is good.
Help me Horde, you're my only hope...
Posted by: Timon at September 23, 2016 12:24 PM (396pH)
Timon, my best guess is that the German company is going to buy out your current employer within, at best, 2 to 2 1/2 years. Get out while the getting is good.
Posted by: alexthechick - unskewed at September 23, 2016 12:46 PM (mf5HN)
118
I'm a high IQ arrogant prick already, there's no creeping at all on that front.
Posted by: tsrlbke PhD(c), rogue bioethicist at September 23, 2016 12:39 PM (dzmBR)
I can vouch for this.
Posted by: tsrlbke PhD(c), rogue bioethicist at September 23, 2016 12:39 PM (dzmBR)
I can vouch for this.
Posted by: CharlieBrown'sDildo at September 23, 2016 12:46 PM (Zu3d9)
119
The mortgage rule of thumb used to be 3X gross income. In California, lenders use 4X, IIRC. So there's a partial answer.
Posted by: Deplorable Jay Guevara at September 23, 2016 12:45 PM (SRKgf)
Heh I think we were approved for about 2.5ish gross income.
Granted we didn't even want to spend that so maybe that's what they didn't stretch it.
I can't complain to much, we got the house for a hair over 200k and the market got warm again so it's worth a lot more should we ever need to unload it.
Posted by: Deplorable Jay Guevara at September 23, 2016 12:45 PM (SRKgf)
Heh I think we were approved for about 2.5ish gross income.
Granted we didn't even want to spend that so maybe that's what they didn't stretch it.
I can't complain to much, we got the house for a hair over 200k and the market got warm again so it's worth a lot more should we ever need to unload it.
Posted by: tsrlbke PhD(c), rogue bioethicist at September 23, 2016 12:47 PM (dzmBR)
Posted by: dananjcon at September 23, 2016 12:47 PM (NpXoL)
121
We looked at 2 year old minivans. Most had north of 40k miles and it only saved about $3k. And when you factored in the interest rate differences the savings were more or less nil.
Posted by: tsrlbke PhD(c), rogue bioethicist
I have a relative that owns a large used a car dealership, and there is definitely a sub prime bubble similar to housing.
Everyone is chasing yield which means everyone gets a loan. he was telling me how shocked he was at what respectable loan institutions were chasing.
So prices for used cars that can get loans (under 100k miles) go for way higher then they should.
I honestly think for many models that are under 3 years old, it's worth the extra money to just buy new as it's just not that much more and you'll get a lot more when it comes time to sell plus the warranty.
We looked at 2 year old minivans. Most had north of 40k miles and it only saved about $3k. And when you factored in the interest rate differences the savings were more or less nil.
Posted by: tsrlbke PhD(c), rogue bioethicist
I have a relative that owns a large used a car dealership, and there is definitely a sub prime bubble similar to housing.
Everyone is chasing yield which means everyone gets a loan. he was telling me how shocked he was at what respectable loan institutions were chasing.
So prices for used cars that can get loans (under 100k miles) go for way higher then they should.
I honestly think for many models that are under 3 years old, it's worth the extra money to just buy new as it's just not that much more and you'll get a lot more when it comes time to sell plus the warranty.
Posted by: Maritime at September 23, 2016 12:47 PM (fgAYu)
122
Proposition 13 isn't going anywhere. It may be tweaked on the commercial side, but if it were eliminated, the state would be gentrified overnight and nearly every rental rate would skyrocket with taxes passed through. The problem with CA real estate prices mirrors the idiocy that passes for macroeconomic policy in this country: super low interest rates + Monopoly money-style printing (to prevent inflation) + mostly great weather (ok, that's just something we have) = high demand.
Posted by: SFGoth at September 23, 2016 12:47 PM (dZ756)
123
I intend to stay out of debt and may start to spend some money on travel or toys as long as I can pay cash
Amen. I have wanted to visit Alaska for years. I have been putting money aside and have budgeted $10K to go next year; with enough seed money left in the account to pay for visiting Ireland in 2018.
Amen. I have wanted to visit Alaska for years. I have been putting money aside and have budgeted $10K to go next year; with enough seed money left in the account to pay for visiting Ireland in 2018.
Posted by: V the K at September 23, 2016 12:47 PM (O7MnT)
124
We just bought a 9 year old can this weekend. Our other (paid off) van was totaled in the aforementioned flood.
We looked at some that were 2-3 years old but they were all fairly high mileage (40k or so) and all the lower trim levels.
We ended up going older and got all the features we wanted and kept the payment low.
They did quote me the payments for a brand new model though. $560/month. Nope.
We looked at some that were 2-3 years old but they were all fairly high mileage (40k or so) and all the lower trim levels.
We ended up going older and got all the features we wanted and kept the payment low.
They did quote me the payments for a brand new model though. $560/month. Nope.
Posted by: Lauren at September 23, 2016 12:48 PM (9iBwb)
125
I earn approximately three times what I earned 15 years ago, but I drive a similar car, and own the same sized house. Living well below your means not only means less stress, but much more in savings. Think about it, do you want to spend your money on possessions now, or when you have the time to enjoy them?
Posted by: Vashta Nerada at September 23, 2016 12:48 PM (7ZVPa)
126
I was blessed with a career that I loved (and still do), never felt trapped plus the money, while not extravagant, was always enough.
We--my beloved ginger and I--worked to provide ourselves with a comfortable retirement. Accomplished that plus we raised 2 splendid kids along the way.
All in all, it's been a good life with no regrets on my part.
I was blessed with a career that I loved (and still do), never felt trapped plus the money, while not extravagant, was always enough.
We--my beloved ginger and I--worked to provide ourselves with a comfortable retirement. Accomplished that plus we raised 2 splendid kids along the way.
All in all, it's been a good life with no regrets on my part.
Posted by: irongrampa at September 23, 2016 12:48 PM (X35Yt)
127
I have a great, albeit low paying, job. I'm like a kid in a candy store. I work with books and I love to read....
AND I AM SO FUCKING BORED
Once I hit "29" I really started to take stock of my life?
Is this it? Just standing in front of a machine grinding out widgets all day?
AND I AM SO FUCKING BORED
Once I hit "29" I really started to take stock of my life?
Is this it? Just standing in front of a machine grinding out widgets all day?
Posted by: Max Power at September 23, 2016 12:48 PM (q177U)
128
I am very lucky. Fell into my "dream job" a couple years ago, it's something I could do forever, never retire. Before this job, I did all sorts of things, but never really "clicked" onto a particular career path.
Posted by: Lincolntf at September 23, 2016 12:48 PM (2cS/G)
129
Can = van.
Posted by: Lauren at September 23, 2016 12:48 PM (9iBwb)
130
I can vouch for this.
Posted by: CharlieBrown'sDildo at September 23, 2016 12:46 PM (Zu3d9)
Forever cursed by my inability to spell!
I'm also the record holder for highest MCAT score to NOT get accepted into medical school, so there's that. (If my math based on the MSAR book is accurate.)
Posted by: CharlieBrown'sDildo at September 23, 2016 12:46 PM (Zu3d9)
Forever cursed by my inability to spell!
I'm also the record holder for highest MCAT score to NOT get accepted into medical school, so there's that. (If my math based on the MSAR book is accurate.)
Posted by: tsrlbke PhD(c), rogue bioethicist at September 23, 2016 12:48 PM (dzmBR)
131
How much f#cking money are y'all pulling down out there in L.A. ?????
Posted by: Sphynx at September 23, 2016 12:29 PM (OZmbA)
I started at $22 an hour doing basic clerical support at one of the world's largest aerospace companies. (I had years of experience, but still... I was only supporting mid-level managers) In three years, I was making almost $30 an hour, having been promoted to support Directors and the lesser VPs.
Then they trained me for Export Compliance, and started me at $32 an hour with no experience whatsoever, although I had absorbed a lot by working in the department.
Of course, our rent was $2000 a month for a (admittedly large) two bedroom apartment in the slums. (truly slummy, but in a swanky coastal community)
Posted by: Sphynx at September 23, 2016 12:29 PM (OZmbA)
I started at $22 an hour doing basic clerical support at one of the world's largest aerospace companies. (I had years of experience, but still... I was only supporting mid-level managers) In three years, I was making almost $30 an hour, having been promoted to support Directors and the lesser VPs.
Then they trained me for Export Compliance, and started me at $32 an hour with no experience whatsoever, although I had absorbed a lot by working in the department.
Of course, our rent was $2000 a month for a (admittedly large) two bedroom apartment in the slums. (truly slummy, but in a swanky coastal community)
Posted by: Tammy al-Thor at September 23, 2016 12:48 PM (GcpvU)
132
Posted by: Gran of the Deplorables at September 23, 2016 12:42 PM (XIXhw)
Gran, would you consider sending me a link to your blog discreetly?
Trying to get into the same kind of thing, it would be nice to know of a Moron subject matter expert?
My email is votermom at gmail
Gran, would you consider sending me a link to your blog discreetly?
Trying to get into the same kind of thing, it would be nice to know of a Moron subject matter expert?
My email is votermom at gmail
Posted by: Deplorable @votermom at September 23, 2016 12:49 PM (Om16U)
133
Mainly it comes down to advertising aimed 24/7 mainly at women and children. The husband/father is left feeling nothing more like a ATM.
When I was married, friends of my ex wife would brag and st they were happy that the husband was gone weeks at a time only to spend a couple of days at home.
The feminist mind set is that children don't need fathers, they only need ATM's.
They women that do not think this way are in the minority.
When I was married, friends of my ex wife would brag and st they were happy that the husband was gone weeks at a time only to spend a couple of days at home.
The feminist mind set is that children don't need fathers, they only need ATM's.
They women that do not think this way are in the minority.
Posted by: Pepe, The Irredeemable at September 23, 2016 12:49 PM (Y9g6h)
134
Open a foundation, name it after yourself and skim from the proceeds as you provide sub-standard drugs to the sick and dying in third-world countries. When that's not enough, run for office.
Posted by: Chicago Vota at September 23, 2016 12:49 PM (3T0tP)
135
Time with the kids is more than any amount of money. I leave work at three to pick my kids up at the school at the end of the day everyday, and it's totally worth it. I took a big paycut for better hours and more security. At the same time, my wife moved jobs to get out of a craphole, and took a big paycut as well.
After a year or so of feeling broke all the time, we adjusted. Buying stuff just doesn't matter as much.
I want my kids to have the same memories that I have of my childhood. I don't remember stuff (ok, that's a lie), but the best memories are of just being along with my dad when he went somewhere.
OMG, I sound like Dr Laura. Don't ban me for that!
After a year or so of feeling broke all the time, we adjusted. Buying stuff just doesn't matter as much.
I want my kids to have the same memories that I have of my childhood. I don't remember stuff (ok, that's a lie), but the best memories are of just being along with my dad when he went somewhere.
OMG, I sound like Dr Laura. Don't ban me for that!
Posted by: Asko at September 23, 2016 12:49 PM (hkwnD)
136
I've thought this in regard to "poverty." Liberals bleat about minorities living in "poverty," by which they mean having less than other people.
But I've traveled extensively in the Third World, and they have no shit poverty there. We have essentially no poverty in the US. By that I mean we have essentially no one who goes hungry (liberal posturing on this notwithstanding), no one who doesn't have a roof over his head (homeless druggies and lunatics live rough largely by choice), and no one who goes unclothed (except on the ONT).
Conversely, I would say that anyone who has a cell phone, a color TV, and a microwave is NOT POOR. Those are all discretionary items, and owning them tells me that the owner has discretionary income (and/or makes lousy decisions, but that's his fault).
But I've traveled extensively in the Third World, and they have no shit poverty there. We have essentially no poverty in the US. By that I mean we have essentially no one who goes hungry (liberal posturing on this notwithstanding), no one who doesn't have a roof over his head (homeless druggies and lunatics live rough largely by choice), and no one who goes unclothed (except on the ONT).
Conversely, I would say that anyone who has a cell phone, a color TV, and a microwave is NOT POOR. Those are all discretionary items, and owning them tells me that the owner has discretionary income (and/or makes lousy decisions, but that's his fault).
Posted by: Deplorable Jay Guevara at September 23, 2016 12:49 PM (SRKgf)
137
It's all about managing expectations.
If you expect your grown children to stab you in the back and bury your carcass in the back yard, for the contents of your petty cash drawer, you'll be pleasantly surprised when all they do is forget your birthday.
If you expect your grown children to stab you in the back and bury your carcass in the back yard, for the contents of your petty cash drawer, you'll be pleasantly surprised when all they do is forget your birthday.
Posted by: Seamus Muldoon at September 23, 2016 12:49 PM (wPiJc)
138
I have a neighbor who played in the NFL for 11 seasons. I live in a nice neighborhood that has houses in 5 sections at different price points, but they are all middle to upper middle class homes. Everyone is shocked to hear this guy lives in my section of the hood. They want to know why he doesn't have a huge house on the lake or something. Well, guy is smart. He knew he wouldn't be playing in the NFL forever, he bought a nice house in a nice neighborhood with good schools. And it's paid for so now he doesn't have a house he can't afford since he's not playing anymore. Now, the cars he drive are a whole other story, very flashy. For a guy who made 10's of millions over his career, he made smart choices and now he can be involved in his kids upbringing and not be worried about money.
Posted by: lindafell- deplorable, racist, sexist, homophobic, xenophobic, Islamaphobic redneck at September 23, 2016 12:50 PM (JNDQi)
139
The thing is to actually make the choice, the conscious choice, rather than getting unconsciously railroaded through cultural or societal norms, peer pressure, into a life which is not congruent with your values and priorities. It sounds like you've accomplished this.
Of course, we all have competing values. We all love our kids and we all love our money. The trick is to prioritize the values and then to design a life that reflects those priorities in real life. Not only can that be a trick do design and implement in real-life, but those values keep competing with one another and they shift and move as the kids get older and circumstances change. It is not a static situation, but very dynamic. I think it is important to regularly evaluate one's values, priorities and options to make sure that things are aligning. They will never perfectly align, and there will always be some discontentment -- thank God, or there would never be progress personally or in society.
I am an attorney with two daughters, 14 and 10. I am a single dad with sole custody of my daughters. When people ask me how I balance work and family life I chuckle. I'm not sure "balancing" is the right term, because it suggests clear lines of demarcation in my life. My daughters have often sat in my office while I finish up work and they have even had to come to court with me. I really only have One Life, not several that I balance.
My litmus test for "success" if pretty simple at the moment: Are my daughters healthy, happy, well-adjusted, good Christian girls with a bright future and good heads on their shoulders. In other words, my test in for success is Their Success.
I have a very rich ex-father-in-law; millionaire, always with a hot young woman, BMWs, McManson's, great clothes, great food every night, wine, Hawaii, etc. Party!
It is all blood-money, blood-success, because it was earned via a life-style that did horrible emotional and psychological damage to his children. When I was a young man (married to his daughter) I looked up to him. Thought he was the greatest guy ever and wanted to be him and to be that "successful". For almost 15 years he was my idol. Now I see him and I see failure -- True Life Failure...with a bank account. What a meaningless life.
One of my favorite rock songs ever in Lynard Skynyrd "Simple Man" -- that is the man aspire to be now. Life is not easy but it is simple. Fathers should put their children and their families first in all the decisions that they make. To my shame, I have not always done this and, to a certain extent, it ended my marriage. But regret is truly a useless thing. All you can do is learn from your past and move forward being thankful that we have a merciful God.
(And as evidence of our Merciful God....it's Friday!)
Of course, we all have competing values. We all love our kids and we all love our money. The trick is to prioritize the values and then to design a life that reflects those priorities in real life. Not only can that be a trick do design and implement in real-life, but those values keep competing with one another and they shift and move as the kids get older and circumstances change. It is not a static situation, but very dynamic. I think it is important to regularly evaluate one's values, priorities and options to make sure that things are aligning. They will never perfectly align, and there will always be some discontentment -- thank God, or there would never be progress personally or in society.
I am an attorney with two daughters, 14 and 10. I am a single dad with sole custody of my daughters. When people ask me how I balance work and family life I chuckle. I'm not sure "balancing" is the right term, because it suggests clear lines of demarcation in my life. My daughters have often sat in my office while I finish up work and they have even had to come to court with me. I really only have One Life, not several that I balance.
My litmus test for "success" if pretty simple at the moment: Are my daughters healthy, happy, well-adjusted, good Christian girls with a bright future and good heads on their shoulders. In other words, my test in for success is Their Success.
I have a very rich ex-father-in-law; millionaire, always with a hot young woman, BMWs, McManson's, great clothes, great food every night, wine, Hawaii, etc. Party!
It is all blood-money, blood-success, because it was earned via a life-style that did horrible emotional and psychological damage to his children. When I was a young man (married to his daughter) I looked up to him. Thought he was the greatest guy ever and wanted to be him and to be that "successful". For almost 15 years he was my idol. Now I see him and I see failure -- True Life Failure...with a bank account. What a meaningless life.
One of my favorite rock songs ever in Lynard Skynyrd "Simple Man" -- that is the man aspire to be now. Life is not easy but it is simple. Fathers should put their children and their families first in all the decisions that they make. To my shame, I have not always done this and, to a certain extent, it ended my marriage. But regret is truly a useless thing. All you can do is learn from your past and move forward being thankful that we have a merciful God.
(And as evidence of our Merciful God....it's Friday!)
Posted by: JBrother at September 23, 2016 12:50 PM (vhwYr)
140
Posted by: clutch cargo at September 23, 2016 12:36 PM (RHEDC)
I am so sorry to read your story; life really sucks at times and it seems to happen to the nicest of people.
I am so sorry to read your story; life really sucks at times and it seems to happen to the nicest of people.
Posted by: IC at September 23, 2016 12:50 PM (a0IVu)
141
There is this book called The Millionaire Next Door. . .
http://astore.amazon.com/aoshq-20/detail/1589795474
http://astore.amazon.com/aoshq-20/detail/1589795474
Posted by: Kindltot at September 23, 2016 12:51 PM (KOBAq)
142
They women that do not think this way are in the minority.
Posted by: Pepe, The Irredeemable
I honestly do think despite the fact that women are much more open to Leftists candidates in voting preference, are far more materialistic than men.
Posted by: Pepe, The Irredeemable
I honestly do think despite the fact that women are much more open to Leftists candidates in voting preference, are far more materialistic than men.
Posted by: Maritime at September 23, 2016 12:52 PM (fgAYu)
143
I do not balance it well. My children have to come first, because I am a single parent. No, I can't travel for work, so I don't get the visibility the travelers do. I bought a modest but nice house, and we are comfortable. But, frankly, pulling down a big salary for being a high achiever may not be the best thing anymore. Last week I watched a degreed licensed woman get laid off, who had more experience in the field than myself, and I suspect the only reason she got laid off was because she made more than the rest of the office and laying her off had the biggest budgetary impact. Better to make 80% of her former salary than nothing.
Posted by: Nancy at 7000 feet CO at September 23, 2016 12:52 PM (JreH3)
144
Don't forget about who you marry. By time you learn it was the wrong person, it's often too late.
Posted by: ejo at September 23, 2016 12:52 PM (il4FI)
145
All this because of success.
No, all this because your ex is a jerk.
I've seen the same scenario play out where once a partner feels s/he is somehow better situated than the significant other, it's the end of the road. Usually a third party is involved. It's not the success that causes the rupture, it's the lack of core values that the material success exposed.
I truly am sorry for your situation. It can't be easy to have your life story suddenly upended. But 60 is the new 40, that's what they tell me. You'll be able to move on, hopefully this time with a woman who is more stable.
No, all this because your ex is a jerk.
I've seen the same scenario play out where once a partner feels s/he is somehow better situated than the significant other, it's the end of the road. Usually a third party is involved. It's not the success that causes the rupture, it's the lack of core values that the material success exposed.
I truly am sorry for your situation. It can't be easy to have your life story suddenly upended. But 60 is the new 40, that's what they tell me. You'll be able to move on, hopefully this time with a woman who is more stable.
Posted by: kallisto at September 23, 2016 12:52 PM (nNdYv)
146
And you might not have strippers for clients otherwise.
Posted by: buzzion at September 23, 2016 12:44 PM (bMG0w)
We had more strippers for clients at the former firm.
Though, oddly enough, the girl whom I had to take to the mall to buy underwear before going to court was not a stripper.
Posted by: buzzion at September 23, 2016 12:44 PM (bMG0w)
We had more strippers for clients at the former firm.
Though, oddly enough, the girl whom I had to take to the mall to buy underwear before going to court was not a stripper.
Posted by: alexthechick - unskewed at September 23, 2016 12:52 PM (mf5HN)
147
Posted by: Deplorable @votermom at September 23, 2016 12:49 PM (Om16U)
My blog's not online yet, but here is an article from another blog that I've following as a guide for setting up mine. I think a lot of it applies to fields other than IT:
http://tinyurl.com/j2k267j
My blog's not online yet, but here is an article from another blog that I've following as a guide for setting up mine. I think a lot of it applies to fields other than IT:
http://tinyurl.com/j2k267j
Posted by: Gran of the Deplorables at September 23, 2016 12:53 PM (XIXhw)
148
"One of my favorite rock songs ever in Lynard Skynyrd "Simple Man" -- that is the man aspire to be now. "
Yes! This is basically a litmus test for how you view life. If you meet a person who turns their nose up to this song, run! Definitely don't marry them.
Yes! This is basically a litmus test for how you view life. If you meet a person who turns their nose up to this song, run! Definitely don't marry them.
Posted by: Lauren at September 23, 2016 12:53 PM (9iBwb)
149
Posted by: rld77 WAY down south at September 23, 2016 12:43 PM (zwpYr)
That reminds me. When I drop the kid off at school, I sometimes see this big pickup truck. Dad is fairly young, always in t-shirt & baseball cap, pretty sure blue-collar.
When he lets his two little kids out he always gives each of them a big hug & a kiss.
It's really sweet.
That reminds me. When I drop the kid off at school, I sometimes see this big pickup truck. Dad is fairly young, always in t-shirt & baseball cap, pretty sure blue-collar.
When he lets his two little kids out he always gives each of them a big hug & a kiss.
It's really sweet.
Posted by: Deplorable @votermom at September 23, 2016 12:53 PM (Om16U)
150
Thanks Gran!
Posted by: Deplorable @votermom at September 23, 2016 12:54 PM (Om16U)
151
The pressures of The Money Trap are raised by a factor of 100 thanks to social media (I'm looking at you Facebook).
Posted by: Pepe, The Irredeemable at September 23, 2016 12:54 PM (Y9g6h)
152
For what it's worth:
Thirty years ago, I had a good job in a college with a teacher's union and great income. But freshman comp was becoming a drag, always the same papers, never any improvement. I looked at my situation and asked myself: Could I do this for a few years more, 5 or 10 maybe? Sure. Could I do this for another 30? No way, I would be dead of cancer before that.
So I quit my fancy job without any idea where I was going or what. I eventually ended up back where I grew up, near my parents, and helped take care of my dad until he died. I am now more than 20 years in on a job that uses my skills but I don't have to give people grades (yea!) and only now getting a salary comparable to what I would have made in the university job.
However, I have more free time and am kind of underneath the radar, so to speak. I'm respected for my skills and what I bring to the project, not some title. It hurt me financially, but was the right decision for my life.
Thirty years ago, I had a good job in a college with a teacher's union and great income. But freshman comp was becoming a drag, always the same papers, never any improvement. I looked at my situation and asked myself: Could I do this for a few years more, 5 or 10 maybe? Sure. Could I do this for another 30? No way, I would be dead of cancer before that.
So I quit my fancy job without any idea where I was going or what. I eventually ended up back where I grew up, near my parents, and helped take care of my dad until he died. I am now more than 20 years in on a job that uses my skills but I don't have to give people grades (yea!) and only now getting a salary comparable to what I would have made in the university job.
However, I have more free time and am kind of underneath the radar, so to speak. I'm respected for my skills and what I bring to the project, not some title. It hurt me financially, but was the right decision for my life.
Posted by: Lurkette at September 23, 2016 12:54 PM (jVlNS)
153
My friends are trapped. I see it a lot as people hit middle age.
I'm too young to retire, too old to know anything else and the benefits of being a Cob have me in golden handcuffs
I'm too young to retire, too old to know anything else and the benefits of being a Cob have me in golden handcuffs
Posted by: Misanthropic Humanitarian at September 23, 2016 12:54 PM (voOPb)
154
Hey Lauren! You going to the Tex-mor-meet-up at Ben Hads?
Posted by: lindafell- deplorable, racist, sexist, homophobic, xenophobic, Islamaphobic redneck at September 23, 2016 12:54 PM (JNDQi)
155
Conversely, I would say that anyone who has a cell phone, a color TV, and a microwave is NOT POOR. Those are all discretionary items, and owning them tells me that the owner has discretionary income (and/or makes lousy decisions, but that's his fault).
Posted by: Deplorable Jay Guevara
Which is why the focus is now on the "gap" not the actual needs that aren't being met.
I think there's a famous exchange with Margaret Thatcher and some Labour politicians where the Labour person concedes the poor are doing better under her, but the gap is larger.
She effectively ripped him that the Left would rather have the poor, poorer so long as it meant the rich had less and the gap was smaller.
Posted by: Deplorable Jay Guevara
Which is why the focus is now on the "gap" not the actual needs that aren't being met.
I think there's a famous exchange with Margaret Thatcher and some Labour politicians where the Labour person concedes the poor are doing better under her, but the gap is larger.
She effectively ripped him that the Left would rather have the poor, poorer so long as it meant the rich had less and the gap was smaller.
Posted by: Maritime at September 23, 2016 12:55 PM (fgAYu)
156
My prior comment was in reply to:
Posted by: clutch cargo at September 23, 2016 12:36 PM (RHEDC)
I haven't been on this board in a long time. The tags used to work. How are you guys italicizing these jawnies?
Posted by: clutch cargo at September 23, 2016 12:36 PM (RHEDC)
I haven't been on this board in a long time. The tags used to work. How are you guys italicizing these jawnies?
Posted by: kallisto at September 23, 2016 12:55 PM (nNdYv)
157
You're just a bunch of cry baby slackers.
Why Anna Wintour (the real life Devil who wears Prada) just said:
"Chelsea started raising her own daughter while leading a global foundation, writing a book, and teaching. Some people still ask whether a woman can be both a visionary leader and a first-rate mother. Chelsea affirms the one-word answer for my daughter's generation: Yes."
So suck it up.
Why Anna Wintour (the real life Devil who wears Prada) just said:
"Chelsea started raising her own daughter while leading a global foundation, writing a book, and teaching. Some people still ask whether a woman can be both a visionary leader and a first-rate mother. Chelsea affirms the one-word answer for my daughter's generation: Yes."
So suck it up.
Posted by: Ignoramus at September 23, 2016 12:55 PM (r1fLd)
158
I kinda remember that case of yours with Lil Miss No Underwear.
Posted by: Anna Puma at September 23, 2016 12:55 PM (QflKB)
159
Re So Cal property prices, it is expensive. We bought a 1650 sq foot home in a very nice neighborhood for $650,000; recent appraisal put it over $720,000. Fairly ridiculous prices. And we made the deliberate decision to move here for the school - it has a great autism program and my daughter is thriving there. But we have plans to move out of state when we are ready for the next chapter in our lives; some place that shares our values.
Posted by: IC at September 23, 2016 12:56 PM (a0IVu)
Posted by: Tammy al-Thor at September 23, 2016 12:56 PM (GcpvU)
161
Successful job is working at home 3 or 4 days a week
Posted by: undocumented analysis at September 23, 2016 12:56 PM (e8kgV)
162
"Hey Lauren! You going to the Tex-mor-meet-up at Ben Hads?"
I really hope so! It depends on if Mr Lauren is in town. *fingers crossed*
Are you bringing your crew?
I really hope so! It depends on if Mr Lauren is in town. *fingers crossed*
Are you bringing your crew?
Posted by: Lauren at September 23, 2016 12:57 PM (9iBwb)
163
I'm in my sixties.
Here's my Words of Wisdom.
There is no Master Plan. There is no "secret" to a happy life.
Life is a trip down an unknown river in a raft, and you've got a paddle. You're going downstream whether you like it or not, so you try to steer for calm water and you try to steer away from the rocks.
Sometimes the river is slow and quiet, and you can enjoy the ride and the scenery.
Other times there are rapids, when paddling away from the rocks is all you have time for. Sometimes you hit a rock, and the raft takes damage.
If the river forks, you can take one direction or the other, but all you can do is make an educated guess on the direction, and then the river is still unknown around the next bend.
If you don't like the river you're on, sometimes you get a chance to portage to another one--like a major career change--but you won't really know how that's going to work out either.
It would be interesting to poll a bunch of people in late life and ask, "is this where you thought you'd be when you started out?"
"Life is what happens to you when you're making other plans." I think John Lennon said that.
Here's my Words of Wisdom.
There is no Master Plan. There is no "secret" to a happy life.
Life is a trip down an unknown river in a raft, and you've got a paddle. You're going downstream whether you like it or not, so you try to steer for calm water and you try to steer away from the rocks.
Sometimes the river is slow and quiet, and you can enjoy the ride and the scenery.
Other times there are rapids, when paddling away from the rocks is all you have time for. Sometimes you hit a rock, and the raft takes damage.
If the river forks, you can take one direction or the other, but all you can do is make an educated guess on the direction, and then the river is still unknown around the next bend.
If you don't like the river you're on, sometimes you get a chance to portage to another one--like a major career change--but you won't really know how that's going to work out either.
It would be interesting to poll a bunch of people in late life and ask, "is this where you thought you'd be when you started out?"
"Life is what happens to you when you're making other plans." I think John Lennon said that.
Posted by: TB at September 23, 2016 12:57 PM (UXEYz)
164
clutch cargo at September 23, 2016 12:36 PM (RHEDC)
Prayers for Strength & Wisdom to steer through some bad days ahead...
Prayers for Strength & Wisdom to steer through some bad days ahead...
Posted by: Adriane the Cynical Political Critic ... at September 23, 2016 12:57 PM (AoK0a)
165
I'm assuming my 50s will only be better...
Posted by: K-E
Yep. It is for me. So it will be for you.
I had a job I hated but it paid well and had medical insurance (I'm kind of sickly) and deferred comp. My colleagues and I would share info on what to invest in. I didn't know what I wanted to be when I grew up, so I did that. I don't think a lot of people have jobs they plan for and love. If so, they are lucky.
So I saved money and stayed in a small house and a small car and left at 50 to work part-time jobs I cared about. It's been great. Like Scott Adams said, having a flexible schedule is everything!
Each kid does not need their own bedroom and car, each kid does not need a free ride to Yale.
So, Code Red, use your job for a purpose: freedom at an early age.
Posted by: K-E
Yep. It is for me. So it will be for you.
I had a job I hated but it paid well and had medical insurance (I'm kind of sickly) and deferred comp. My colleagues and I would share info on what to invest in. I didn't know what I wanted to be when I grew up, so I did that. I don't think a lot of people have jobs they plan for and love. If so, they are lucky.
So I saved money and stayed in a small house and a small car and left at 50 to work part-time jobs I cared about. It's been great. Like Scott Adams said, having a flexible schedule is everything!
Each kid does not need their own bedroom and car, each kid does not need a free ride to Yale.
So, Code Red, use your job for a purpose: freedom at an early age.
Posted by: PJ at September 23, 2016 12:57 PM (cHuNI)
166
I've been playing around with the idea of retiring early and getting a part time job....
Posted by: Max Power at September 23, 2016 12:57 PM (q177U)
167
Great post - thought provoking. Great comments.
Posted by: jacke at September 23, 2016 12:57 PM (Ax7fJ)
168
No family. Had offer for job in smaller city in Midwest where I would have lived well, but dating would have sucked. Live in Metro area for numbers (single, Winona-age). Have years of mortgage payments saved and bought something that will hold value. Brother who is married with kids in small town has better quality of life but married ten years ago. Is what it is.
Posted by: Banana Splits Guy at September 23, 2016 12:57 PM (bqa+Z)
169
As one of those guys caught in the trap, good on you Code Red. Well done for you, and especially your family.
Posted by: Lurker primus at September 23, 2016 12:58 PM (B3qs7)
170
I was once asked would I'd do if I suddenly came into $10 million?
I had no idea. I'd never thought about it. There's nothing I particularly want that I don't have now. I thought a bit, and said, "Probably invest it."
I had no idea. I'd never thought about it. There's nothing I particularly want that I don't have now. I thought a bit, and said, "Probably invest it."
Posted by: Deplorable Jay Guevara at September 23, 2016 12:58 PM (SRKgf)
171
The Money Trap (tm) helped make the Republican nominee for president the man he is. YMMV
Posted by: ajmojo at September 23, 2016 12:58 PM (1H9ox)
172
157 You're just a bunch of cry baby slackers.
Why Anna Wintour (the real life Devil who wears Prada) just said:
"Chelsea started raising her own daughter while leading a global foundation, writing a book, and teaching. Some people still ask whether a woman can be both a visionary leader and a first-rate mother. Chelsea affirms the one-word answer for my daughter's generation: Yes."
So suck it up.
Posted by: Ignoramus at September 23, 2016 12:55 PM (r1fLd)
Why are there photos of a nanny pushing her spawn about?
157 You're just a bunch of cry baby slackers.
Why Anna Wintour (the real life Devil who wears Prada) just said:
"Chelsea started raising her own daughter while leading a global foundation, writing a book, and teaching. Some people still ask whether a woman can be both a visionary leader and a first-rate mother. Chelsea affirms the one-word answer for my daughter's generation: Yes."
So suck it up.
Posted by: Ignoramus at September 23, 2016 12:55 PM (r1fLd)
Why are there photos of a nanny pushing her spawn about?
Posted by: Misanthropic Humanitarian at September 23, 2016 12:58 PM (voOPb)
173
Good advice TB!
I think of time though, as a path upstream....once you can't paddle anymore you are washed away downstream into the past.
I think of time though, as a path upstream....once you can't paddle anymore you are washed away downstream into the past.
Posted by: Max Power at September 23, 2016 12:59 PM (q177U)
174
"21 @13
Hardly, I build things that a great many people see.
Posted by: Kreplach at September 23, 2016 12:24 PM (WxiG/)"
-----
You design the Candy Crush games? If so I love you work.
Hardly, I build things that a great many people see.
Posted by: Kreplach at September 23, 2016 12:24 PM (WxiG/)"
-----
You design the Candy Crush games? If so I love you work.
Posted by: Decaf at September 23, 2016 12:59 PM (phgXC)
175
I'm just happy that I'm about to finally get a full time job, with bennies, after nearly 5 years of temp/part-time/UE. I'd rather own a home than rent an apartment & I'd rather have a new car with a warranty than taking my chances on an older car with a lot of miles, but I'd want these things because they offer me more security, not because I'm trying to impress anyone.
Posted by: josephistan at September 23, 2016 01:00 PM (7HtZB)
176
Bought our first home, kept out first home no matter if we could afford better. Prepay a bit on the mortgage from the onset. With interest at 11% it had a huge effect.
Posted by: pat at September 23, 2016 01:00 PM (4MSOz)
177
I haven't been on this board in a long time. The tags used to work. How are you guys italicizing these jawnies?
Posted by: kallisto at September 23, 2016 12:55 PM (nNdYv)
bbcode.
brackets [] put the i and the /i in between them. Works for b with bold, too.
I haven't been on this board in a long time. The tags used to work. How are you guys italicizing these jawnies?
Posted by: kallisto at September 23, 2016 12:55 PM (nNdYv)
bbcode.
brackets [] put the i and the /i in between them. Works for b with bold, too.
Posted by: Jeff Weimer at September 23, 2016 01:00 PM (0Y6mc)
178
Wait, I thought his name is Warden.
Code Red is a blog thingabob
Code Red is a blog thingabob
Posted by: Deplorable @votermom at September 23, 2016 01:00 PM (Om16U)
179
172,
But wait a sec - aren't we supposed to be impressed with Bill's management of the foundation along with Hillary's work?
Which is it?
But wait a sec - aren't we supposed to be impressed with Bill's management of the foundation along with Hillary's work?
Which is it?
Posted by: Anon a mouse... at September 23, 2016 01:00 PM (C9pBZ)
180
"Why Anna Wintour (the real life Devil who wears Prada) just said:
"Chelsea started raising her own daughter while leading a global
foundation, writing a book, and teaching. Some people still ask whether
a woman can be both a visionary leader and a first-rate mother. Chelsea
affirms the one-word answer for my daughter's generation: Yes."
Posted by: Ignoramus"
I though that had to be sarcasm or a joke but turns out she actually did say that. Liberals are becoming impossible to parody.
"Chelsea started raising her own daughter while leading a global
foundation, writing a book, and teaching. Some people still ask whether
a woman can be both a visionary leader and a first-rate mother. Chelsea
affirms the one-word answer for my daughter's generation: Yes."
Posted by: Ignoramus"
I though that had to be sarcasm or a joke but turns out she actually did say that. Liberals are becoming impossible to parody.
Posted by: Ripley at September 23, 2016 01:00 PM (1BQGO)
181
Because Chelsea considers the servants to be furniture, she learned that from her momma.
Posted by: Anna Puma at September 23, 2016 01:00 PM (QflKB)
182
Congrats josephistan!
Posted by: Deplorable @votermom at September 23, 2016 01:01 PM (Om16U)
183
Why Anna Wintour (the real life Devil who wears Prada) just said:
"Chelsea started raising her own daughter while leading a global foundation, writing a book, and teaching.
Always easy for those who don't have to worry about where the electric bill money is coming from.
"Chelsea started raising her own daughter while leading a global foundation, writing a book, and teaching.
Always easy for those who don't have to worry about where the electric bill money is coming from.
Posted by: rickb223 at September 23, 2016 01:01 PM (2El4P)
184
"Chelsea started raising her own daughter while leading a global
foundation, writing a book, and teaching. Some people still ask whether
a woman can be both a visionary leader and a first-rate mother. Chelsea
affirms the one-word answer for my daughter's generation: Yes."
Please... We've all seen a Nanny... I bet she doesn't even change diapers... And teaching ? WTH is she teaching?
"Chelsea started raising her own daughter while leading a global
foundation, writing a book, and teaching. Some people still ask whether
a woman can be both a visionary leader and a first-rate mother. Chelsea
affirms the one-word answer for my daughter's generation: Yes."
Please... We've all seen a Nanny... I bet she doesn't even change diapers... And teaching ? WTH is she teaching?
Posted by: deplorable donna at September 23, 2016 01:02 PM (O2RFr)
185
I'm just past 40, and somewhere between 12-24 months I'll be a retired USAF E-7.
I'm thinking eastern Tennessee, but haven't ruled out other places. I want to try to get as much of the mandatory stuff -- roof overhead, food, heat, lights, etc -- as close to the retirement check as possible.
Yes, I'll look at contracting gigs and maybe I'll take one. That would be temporary. I can't see myself living in the MD/DC/NoVA area for very long.
I'm thinking eastern Tennessee, but haven't ruled out other places. I want to try to get as much of the mandatory stuff -- roof overhead, food, heat, lights, etc -- as close to the retirement check as possible.
Yes, I'll look at contracting gigs and maybe I'll take one. That would be temporary. I can't see myself living in the MD/DC/NoVA area for very long.
Posted by: Arch Stanton at September 23, 2016 01:02 PM (4Boke)
Posted by: Lurker primus at September 23, 2016 01:02 PM (B3qs7)
187
144 Don't forget about who you marry. By time you learn it was the wrong person, it's often too late.
Posted by: ejo at September 23, 2016 12:52 PM (il4FI)
Been there, done that, have the T-shirt and ruined life.
Posted by: ejo at September 23, 2016 12:52 PM (il4FI)
Been there, done that, have the T-shirt and ruined life.
Posted by: Insomniac - Irredeemably Deplorable at September 23, 2016 01:02 PM (0mRoj)
Posted by: Anon a mouse... at September 23, 2016 01:02 PM (C9pBZ)
189
I am a stay at home Dad, for extra money I Sell Disney Vacation Points, it's the Disney timeshare. I bought extra points during the great recession of 2008 and I "rent my points" to people that want to vacation in DisneyWorld and I can save people 40% of what they would spent if they went thru Disney travel. The DVC rooms are much bigger, you can get a one bedroom that's like an apartment, with a kitchen washer dryer and even a dishwasher. We save even more money by cooking in the room. I enjoy doing it and helping people plan thier vacations. I use the extra money to for our vacations so in essence someone else is paying for it.
Posted by: Patrick from Ohio at September 23, 2016 01:02 PM (dKiJG)
190
Gotta say, this post has been a breath of fresh air. Gracias.
Posted by: Pug Mahon at September 23, 2016 01:03 PM (RwwCT)
191
test
Posted by: brdavis9 at September 23, 2016 01:03 PM (xk+SM)
192
Hell the situation I am in, I will probably wind up homeless trying and fighting to be in my children's' lives.
And I owned a house and some land free and clear a couple of years ago.
Like homeless begging for change living in a cardboard box.
I had to sell my car to fight to be in my children's' lives.
Appearently it is more important to have a car and a career and be the ATM for the mother and children than it is to be an active involved father in your own childrens lives.
And I owned a house and some land free and clear a couple of years ago.
Like homeless begging for change living in a cardboard box.
I had to sell my car to fight to be in my children's' lives.
Appearently it is more important to have a car and a career and be the ATM for the mother and children than it is to be an active involved father in your own childrens lives.
Posted by: Pepe, The Irredeemable at September 23, 2016 01:03 PM (Y9g6h)
193
Please... We've all seen a Nanny... I bet she doesn't even change diapers... And teaching ? WTH is she teaching?
"How to scam for fun and profit!"
"How to scam for fun and profit!"
Posted by: rickb223 at September 23, 2016 01:03 PM (2El4P)
194
Hang in there Code Red. Your post was extremely familiar to my own situation. I'm an attorney, who started off in big, corporate law firms, but after an injury to my child in daycare, I chose to scale down the corporate ladder instead of up. Twenty years later, my son just started his dream job and I'm starting to achieve the type of success I missed out on in my thirties. But oh, was it worth it!!! The little ones will be gone soon enough, and you'll have ample opportunity to fulfill that inner desire to climb your own achievement ladder.
Posted by: Wordygirl at September 23, 2016 01:03 PM (wFvI6)
195
Patrick, I'll have to look you up when we do our next vacation. Our family will be too big for any of the Disney resorts once the baby hits 3.
Posted by: Lauren at September 23, 2016 01:04 PM (9iBwb)
196
Wow CodeRed. You just described my life to a tee.
Let me know when you come up with the answers.
Let me know when you come up with the answers.
Posted by: SH at September 23, 2016 01:04 PM (gmeXX)
197
2-year old used cars or expensive enough to just bite down and buy new, the value proposition with interest rates (for one) just isn't there.
Posted by: Jeff Weimer at September 23, 2016 12:45 PM (0Y6mc)
But the 20-year old ones are liberating. No debt. No effing debt. And you insurance is cheaper, too, because you need not buy collision coverage.
Auto loan debt is just another component of the money trap.
Posted by: Jeff Weimer at September 23, 2016 12:45 PM (0Y6mc)
But the 20-year old ones are liberating. No debt. No effing debt. And you insurance is cheaper, too, because you need not buy collision coverage.
Auto loan debt is just another component of the money trap.
Posted by: Alberta Oil Peon at September 23, 2016 01:04 PM (Bvr/A)
198
"Chelsea started raising her own daughter while leading a global foundation, writing a book, and teaching. Some people still ask whether a woman can be both a visionary leader and a first-rate mother. Chelsea affirms the one-word answer for my daughter's generation: Yes."
----------------------
Didn't Sarah Palin do something like this?
"Chelsea started raising her own daughter while leading a global foundation, writing a book, and teaching. Some people still ask whether a woman can be both a visionary leader and a first-rate mother. Chelsea affirms the one-word answer for my daughter's generation: Yes."
----------------------
Didn't Sarah Palin do something like this?
Posted by: iforgot says God bless Fleegle at September 23, 2016 01:04 PM (5o5ek)
199
And if anyone has a few spare bucks and likes to read - http://astore.amazon.com/aoshq-20/detail/B014BTSEYO
Posted by: Anna Puma at September 23, 2016 01:04 PM (QflKB)
200
170 I was once asked would I'd do if I suddenly came into $10 million?
I had no idea. I'd never thought about it. There's nothing I particularly want that I don't have now. I thought a bit, and said, "Probably invest it."
Posted by: Deplorable Jay Guevara at September 23, 2016 12:58 PM (SRKgf)
Two chicks at the same time.
Duh.
170 I was once asked would I'd do if I suddenly came into $10 million?
I had no idea. I'd never thought about it. There's nothing I particularly want that I don't have now. I thought a bit, and said, "Probably invest it."
Posted by: Deplorable Jay Guevara at September 23, 2016 12:58 PM (SRKgf)
Two chicks at the same time.
Duh.
Posted by: Buzzion at September 23, 2016 01:05 PM (pY2MT)
201
"Chelsea started raising her own daughter while leading a global foundation, writing a book, and teaching. Some people still ask whether a woman can be both a visionary leader and a first-rate mother. Chelsea affirms the one-word answer for my daughter's generation: Yes."
So suck it up.
Posted by: Ignoramus at September 23, 2016 12:55 PM (r1fLd)
I love fairy tales. Which is what that is. Chelsea is none of those things. None.
Leading a global foundation? Please. Cashing checks from those buying influence is not leading.
"Writing" a book? You mean like Hillary ("It Takes A Vibrator") or Obongo ("Dreams From An Irresponsible Asshole Who Couldn't Figure Out How to Put On A Condom")? Ghost-writing doesn't count.
Teaching? Teaching what, and to whom?
Visionary leader? Chelsea couldn't lead sailors to a whore house. WTF is she talking about?
First-rate mother? Who leaves her kids with her pervert husband, who in turn leaves one in a bathtub unattended while he sends dick pics to an underage girl?
So suck it up.
Posted by: Ignoramus at September 23, 2016 12:55 PM (r1fLd)
I love fairy tales. Which is what that is. Chelsea is none of those things. None.
Leading a global foundation? Please. Cashing checks from those buying influence is not leading.
"Writing" a book? You mean like Hillary ("It Takes A Vibrator") or Obongo ("Dreams From An Irresponsible Asshole Who Couldn't Figure Out How to Put On A Condom")? Ghost-writing doesn't count.
Teaching? Teaching what, and to whom?
Visionary leader? Chelsea couldn't lead sailors to a whore house. WTF is she talking about?
First-rate mother? Who leaves her kids with her pervert husband, who in turn leaves one in a bathtub unattended while he sends dick pics to an underage girl?
Posted by: Deplorable Jay Guevara at September 23, 2016 01:05 PM (SRKgf)
202
My wife and I together make about 145k per year. We bought our 1550 SF house six years ago for 82k and are happy with it. Allows us to put kids through college and travel quite a bit without acquiring debt. There are benefits to living in Bumfuck, Texas.
Posted by: Pendejo at September 23, 2016 01:05 PM (pJgMQ)
203
It got taken care of for me. When I was 39, I was a highly paid network engineer, worked 60-80 hours a week (my wife & I used to fight abt it regularly), and flew all over the world.
Then I got sick. Details unimportant, except that it stayed undiagnosed for 18 years, and I worked for the first 12 of those until I got 'laid off'. So no disability - undiagnosed.
Nearly lost the house, but we struggled through, and I now work in a job that pays about 40% of what I used to make, in a different industry.
As I phrase it "It's kind of nice to be at the bottom of the totem pole", I don't put in more than 45-50 hours a week, and I can forget about the place on evenings and weekends.
I don't really like what I am doing, most of it could be done by any well trained monkey, but the company I work for is great, nice place to work, so there's that.
Work/Life balance reset by life.
Then I got sick. Details unimportant, except that it stayed undiagnosed for 18 years, and I worked for the first 12 of those until I got 'laid off'. So no disability - undiagnosed.
Nearly lost the house, but we struggled through, and I now work in a job that pays about 40% of what I used to make, in a different industry.
As I phrase it "It's kind of nice to be at the bottom of the totem pole", I don't put in more than 45-50 hours a week, and I can forget about the place on evenings and weekends.
I don't really like what I am doing, most of it could be done by any well trained monkey, but the company I work for is great, nice place to work, so there's that.
Work/Life balance reset by life.
Posted by: West at September 23, 2016 01:06 PM (1Rgee)
204
"when we do our next vacation."
We've never taken a vacation... We visited my wife's family in Florida when I was on terminal leave from the Army. Does that count?
We've never taken a vacation... We visited my wife's family in Florida when I was on terminal leave from the Army. Does that count?
Posted by: Apostate at September 23, 2016 01:06 PM (8hqz+)
Posted by: deplorable donna at September 23, 2016 01:06 PM (O2RFr)
206
I once walked past Anna Wintour in lobby of the Conde Nast building in Times Square. As I did I said, "Love your suit" She didn't get the joke.
Posted by: Ignoramus at September 23, 2016 01:06 PM (r1fLd)
207
First-rate mother? Who leaves her kids with her pervert husband, who in turn leaves one in a bathtub unattended while he sends dick pics to an underage girl?
Posted by: Deplorable Jay Guevara at September 23, 2016 01:05 PM (SRKgf)
----------------------
You're confusing Chelsea with Huma, but I have the feeling many people do.
First-rate mother? Who leaves her kids with her pervert husband, who in turn leaves one in a bathtub unattended while he sends dick pics to an underage girl?
Posted by: Deplorable Jay Guevara at September 23, 2016 01:05 PM (SRKgf)
----------------------
You're confusing Chelsea with Huma, but I have the feeling many people do.
Posted by: iforgot says God bless Fleegle at September 23, 2016 01:07 PM (5o5ek)
208
185 I'm just past 40, and somewhere between 12-24 months I'll be a retired USAF E-7.
I'm thinking eastern Tennessee, but haven't ruled out other places. I want to try to get as much of the mandatory stuff -- roof overhead, food, heat, lights, etc -- as close to the retirement check as possible.
Yes, I'll look at contracting gigs and maybe I'll take one. That would be temporary. I can't see myself living in the MD/DC/NoVA area for very long.
Posted by: Arch Stanton at September 23, 2016 01:02 PM (4Boke)
Retired Navy. Did the DC contractor thing for a year and a half - needed the money. Family lived in the Norfolk area and I stayed in an apartment in NoVA (Maryland/DC was out of the question due to residency difficulties). Traveled back and forth to home on weekends. It was tough, but I eventually found a job in Norfolk and am home every day. Except for the times like now where I am in Rota, Spain on the Navy's dime.
It's a tough life.
I'm thinking eastern Tennessee, but haven't ruled out other places. I want to try to get as much of the mandatory stuff -- roof overhead, food, heat, lights, etc -- as close to the retirement check as possible.
Yes, I'll look at contracting gigs and maybe I'll take one. That would be temporary. I can't see myself living in the MD/DC/NoVA area for very long.
Posted by: Arch Stanton at September 23, 2016 01:02 PM (4Boke)
Retired Navy. Did the DC contractor thing for a year and a half - needed the money. Family lived in the Norfolk area and I stayed in an apartment in NoVA (Maryland/DC was out of the question due to residency difficulties). Traveled back and forth to home on weekends. It was tough, but I eventually found a job in Norfolk and am home every day. Except for the times like now where I am in Rota, Spain on the Navy's dime.
It's a tough life.
Posted by: Jeff Weimer at September 23, 2016 01:07 PM (0Y6mc)
209
"Chelsea started raising her own daughter while leading a global foundation, writing a book, and teaching. Some people still ask whether a woman can be both a visionary leader and a first-rate mother. Chelsea affirms the one-word answer for my daughter's generation: Yes."
*****
And in her spare time discovered Zika virus and saved dozens, nay hundreds, of lives as a dedicated Pediatric Cardiologist!
*****
And in her spare time discovered Zika virus and saved dozens, nay hundreds, of lives as a dedicated Pediatric Cardiologist!
Posted by: Seamus Muldoon at September 23, 2016 01:07 PM (wPiJc)
210
I'm very lucky to have a job that I love doing for which I get very nicely compensated. There are people I work with making a lot more than I do-the best make half a mil a year or more-and truthfully I have the skill to make that if I chose.
I chose not to because I don't want to work 80 hours a week or more. I work less and make enough to support the family AND to have time for them. I have my little sailboat for weekends, we get away on vacation a couple of times a year. Most of my debts have been paid, and the rest will be shortly, and I have some money in the bank. I'm happy.
Actually, I'm blessed.
I chose not to because I don't want to work 80 hours a week or more. I work less and make enough to support the family AND to have time for them. I have my little sailboat for weekends, we get away on vacation a couple of times a year. Most of my debts have been paid, and the rest will be shortly, and I have some money in the bank. I'm happy.
Actually, I'm blessed.
Posted by: Weirddave at September 23, 2016 01:07 PM (Ga9pP)
211
I was once asked would I'd do if I suddenly came into $10 million?
I had no idea. I'd never thought about it. There's nothing I particularly want that I don't have now. I thought a bit, and said, "Probably invest it."
Posted by: Deplorable Jay Guevara at September 23, 2016 12:58 PM (SRKgf)
I love JJ Watt and one of the many reasons why is that when he signed his enormous deal he went online and looked up "what do rich people buy" because he had no clue.
IIRC, the rest of that story is that he didn't like the answers so he let his money guys handle it. He did, however, buy his Momma a truck because he's a good son.
I had no idea. I'd never thought about it. There's nothing I particularly want that I don't have now. I thought a bit, and said, "Probably invest it."
Posted by: Deplorable Jay Guevara at September 23, 2016 12:58 PM (SRKgf)
I love JJ Watt and one of the many reasons why is that when he signed his enormous deal he went online and looked up "what do rich people buy" because he had no clue.
IIRC, the rest of that story is that he didn't like the answers so he let his money guys handle it. He did, however, buy his Momma a truck because he's a good son.
Posted by: alexthechick - unskewed at September 23, 2016 01:07 PM (mf5HN)
212
I have friends in CA (I live in MI) and I see them similarly. They are a bit younger but just bought a house for almost 900 grand that needs thousands more in improvements. All this while the husband is on thin ice at work. Lots of upheaval and a demotion. I see myself making good money yet living beneath my means but I wouldn't trade places with my friends even though CA is wonderful. It isn't worth the stress and in the new economy nothing is secure. Live UNDER your means if you are smart.
Posted by: Chris Vaughn at September 23, 2016 01:07 PM (ufoE3)
213
"First-rate mother? Who leaves her kids with her pervert husband, who in turn leaves one in a bathtub unattended while he sends dick pics to an underage girl?"
You're confused. Chelsea's husband is the one who pissed away millions of other people's dollars betting on a Greek rebound.
You're confused. Chelsea's husband is the one who pissed away millions of other people's dollars betting on a Greek rebound.
Posted by: Apostate at September 23, 2016 01:07 PM (8hqz+)
214
bbcode: brackets [] put the i and the /i in between them. Works for b with bold, too.
Posted by: Jeff Weimer at September 23, 2016 01:00 PM (0Y6mc)
Thanks so much, Jeff. If you're ever in Spokane, I'll buy you a craft beer. (I'd tried using "" a few times over the years ...which never worked, obviously. Didn't think about trying brackets, sigh.)
Posted by: Jeff Weimer at September 23, 2016 01:00 PM (0Y6mc)
Thanks so much, Jeff. If you're ever in Spokane, I'll buy you a craft beer. (I'd tried using "" a few times over the years ...which never worked, obviously. Didn't think about trying brackets, sigh.)
Posted by: brdavis9 at September 23, 2016 01:07 PM (xk+SM)
215
Jay I know it's understandable because of the connections, but aren't you conflating Chelsea's husband who shut his hedge fund down because he lost 90% of his investors' money with Huma's husband Carlos Danger?
Posted by: Anna Puma at September 23, 2016 01:07 PM (QflKB)
216
500K house? You can't get a tuff-shed for that in the Bay Area. I chose a stable job that will take me to retirement, and a good environment for my kids over the monetary niceties that go with less expensive housing. Sold our 400K house out in the Central Valley and bought one that was nearly twice the price. There will be no expensive vacations, new cars, expensive hobbies or early retirement. Funny thing about Bay Area, the peninsula in particular - it's actually CHEAPER to live near the ocean than to live on the peninsula proper, or, god help you, the silicon valley proper. We live a 10 minute walk from the Pacific ocean, and a lively harbor, and I have a 25 mile commute to a University that will keep me employed until I'm ready to drop, and I'm OK with that. The wife telecommutes, the kids play in the ocean all summer instead of being mall-rats in 100 degree heat, and I'm happy with the old motorcycle I've owned since 1987 as my hobby / diversion. It's all good. Having been a contractor for 30 years prior to this, having a guaranteed income with great benefits makes up for a LOT.
Posted by: gromulin at September 23, 2016 01:08 PM (uOmcB)
217
Two chicks at the same time.
Duh.
Posted by: Buzzion at September 23, 2016 01:05 PM (pY2MT)
-----
That'll kill you.
Oh.
Wait.
Duh.
Posted by: Buzzion at September 23, 2016 01:05 PM (pY2MT)
-----
That'll kill you.
Oh.
Wait.
Posted by: fixerupper at September 23, 2016 01:08 PM (8XRCm)
218
I need a damn job...got laid off a few years ago, coasted for awhile, now my $ is running out and my credit is shot. Picked up part time work when I could, thought about a career change which is still available (becoming a plumber!), but feel like things are already out of control. I have a nice house I bought when I was employed, and have to take on roomies to pay the mortgage.
Posted by: model_1066 at September 23, 2016 01:08 PM (sCRlX)
219
213 "First-rate mother? Who leaves her kids with her pervert husband, who in turn leaves one in a bathtub unattended while he sends dick pics to an underage girl?"
You're confused. Chelsea's husband is the one who pissed away millions of other people's dollars betting on a Greek rebound.
And who's Father In Law is a convicted criminal...
You're confused. Chelsea's husband is the one who pissed away millions of other people's dollars betting on a Greek rebound.
And who's Father In Law is a convicted criminal...
Posted by: deplorable donna at September 23, 2016 01:08 PM (O2RFr)
220
My husband and I retired this year and we are in our 50s. Early on we decided that we would live off of his salary and bank mone. We had a tiny mortgage but three kids so it wasn't eady, but our kids are grown now and we have paid everything off except our tiNY mortgage which will be paid off in 2 years. We are completely comfortable and can travel and afford anything we want. But we planned for this and it was hard at times, but we knew what the payoff would be. I don't think people plan anymore.
Posted by: Abby at September 23, 2016 01:09 PM (HBU7W)
221
Auto loan debt is just another component of the money trap.
Posted by: Alberta Oil Peon at September 23, 2016 01:04 PM (Bvr/A)
Yep. I taught my boys to look HARD at recurring expenses. One offs, even if hefty, are usually not a big deal. It's the few hundred bucks a month for this, that and the other that add up.
Cell phone plans leap to mind in this connection. When you had a land line, would you pay $1-3 K a year for it? Of course not. But people do that all the time for cell phones. And what OF VALUE can you do with a cell phone that you couldn't do with a land line? Note: updating FB and playing "Angry Birds" flunk the "of value" criterion.
Posted by: Alberta Oil Peon at September 23, 2016 01:04 PM (Bvr/A)
Yep. I taught my boys to look HARD at recurring expenses. One offs, even if hefty, are usually not a big deal. It's the few hundred bucks a month for this, that and the other that add up.
Cell phone plans leap to mind in this connection. When you had a land line, would you pay $1-3 K a year for it? Of course not. But people do that all the time for cell phones. And what OF VALUE can you do with a cell phone that you couldn't do with a land line? Note: updating FB and playing "Angry Birds" flunk the "of value" criterion.
Posted by: Deplorable Jay Guevara at September 23, 2016 01:09 PM (SRKgf)
222
Ok how about moving to the country?
I'm a teacher, I make $49k thanks to a 8% pay it thanks to Obama's war on coal killing $5 million out of my county's school budget. My wife is a counselor making about $40 k a year.
Yet, we bought a 3 bedroom, 2 bath, 2 family room house (plus a 1200 ft semi-finished basement) on three acres for a whopping $116k. Utilities are cheap, we spend about $3,000 a year on vacations and we can even afford it.
Safe neighborhood (1 person has been killed in this county in two years and that was a domestic violence situation). The schools are supposedly just middle of the road but in fact something like 75% of high school graduates with B averages get fantastic scholarships because our county's scholarship funds are way over-funded due to a rich Guy's donation and fewer people eligible for that B average.
So in other words, life is pretty dang great. If I had to improve it I would say that I would like more people around to do stuff with, most of my friends got jobs that led to then moving out of the area. Would be nice to have some more morons around here.
I'm a teacher, I make $49k thanks to a 8% pay it thanks to Obama's war on coal killing $5 million out of my county's school budget. My wife is a counselor making about $40 k a year.
Yet, we bought a 3 bedroom, 2 bath, 2 family room house (plus a 1200 ft semi-finished basement) on three acres for a whopping $116k. Utilities are cheap, we spend about $3,000 a year on vacations and we can even afford it.
Safe neighborhood (1 person has been killed in this county in two years and that was a domestic violence situation). The schools are supposedly just middle of the road but in fact something like 75% of high school graduates with B averages get fantastic scholarships because our county's scholarship funds are way over-funded due to a rich Guy's donation and fewer people eligible for that B average.
So in other words, life is pretty dang great. If I had to improve it I would say that I would like more people around to do stuff with, most of my friends got jobs that led to then moving out of the area. Would be nice to have some more morons around here.
Posted by: Rory at September 23, 2016 01:10 PM (rkCLP)
223
219 213 "First-rate mother? Who leaves her kids with her pervert husband, who in turn leaves one in a bathtub unattended while he sends dick pics to an underage girl?"
You're confused. Chelsea's husband is the one who pissed away millions of other people's dollars betting on a Greek rebound.
And who's Father In Law is a convicted criminal...
Posted by: deplorable donna at September 23, 2016 01:08 PM (O2RFr)
Oops. You're right. Can't keep the scum straight.
You're confused. Chelsea's husband is the one who pissed away millions of other people's dollars betting on a Greek rebound.
And who's Father In Law is a convicted criminal...
Posted by: deplorable donna at September 23, 2016 01:08 PM (O2RFr)
Oops. You're right. Can't keep the scum straight.
Posted by: Deplorable Jay Guevara at September 23, 2016 01:10 PM (SRKgf)
224
LOL ...between the quotes, the > and the
Posted by: brdavis9 at September 23, 2016 01:10 PM (xk+SM)
225
170 I was once asked would I'd do if I suddenly came into $10 million?
I had no idea. I'd never thought about it. There's nothing I particularly want that I don't have now. I thought a bit, and said, "Probably invest it."
Posted by: Deplorable Jay Guevara at September 23, 2016 12:58 PM (SRKgf)
I don't want that much, mostly because I have some family members that would come calling with their hands out. And be horrible about it.
I'd take $1 million. That's enough to pay everything off, send the kids through college, and not have enough to feel guilty about saying "no you can't have some".
I had no idea. I'd never thought about it. There's nothing I particularly want that I don't have now. I thought a bit, and said, "Probably invest it."
Posted by: Deplorable Jay Guevara at September 23, 2016 12:58 PM (SRKgf)
I don't want that much, mostly because I have some family members that would come calling with their hands out. And be horrible about it.
I'd take $1 million. That's enough to pay everything off, send the kids through college, and not have enough to feel guilty about saying "no you can't have some".
Posted by: Jeff Weimer at September 23, 2016 01:11 PM (0Y6mc)
226
[187 Insomniac irredeemably deplorable] and [192 Pepe the Irredeemable] - I know this isn't in Ace's wheelhouse, but maybe someday it may be a cathartic thing to have a "how divorce financially ruins you" thread, as well as the side benefit of the wrecked relationships with your kids (courtesy of your ex-spouse)
Posted by: Lurker primus at September 23, 2016 01:11 PM (B3qs7)
227
No kids so that changes priorities. But same trap. I was pretty high up in the Medical Device/surgical field for oh. 15 years. Worked my ass off. On call 24/7 for surgeries. Lived in hospitals. Wife worked her way into nice but very stressful full of assholes Stock Brokerage job. Everyone wanted you to fail (or stroke) in that business so they could divide up your book of business. House on water and boat on Tierra Verde Island in FL. We bought anything we wanted, kayaks, boat blah blah. The little time off we had we enjoyed. Did my pager go off on the boat? Yeppers. Ugh. Did I crawl out of bed at 3 in the morning to drive 3 hours for a surgery? Yep.
One day talked to a nurse who talked about how she brought small houses, stayed in them for a couple of years to avoid cap gains, fixed them up a bit. Sweat equity. didn't roll profits into a bigger house but same, and less mortgage, made the extra payment each year, went to a 15 instead of 30 till she had no mortgage. My wife and I are thrifty at heart and so we looked at each other and thought we were idiots. So began a forced march. Had a program that showed how much we spent on lattes etc. in 10 years. Silly maybe but for us, powerful Cheese sandwiches for lunch, paying down mortgage with any extra. Even took a hit on getting rid of a lease car to buy a good used. Sold hostage on water bought fixer upper and spent weekends tearing off wallpaper. Sucked. Wasn't always upward. Real estate, stocks, unpredictable but the mindset was sound.
Long story short. No mortgage or car payments. When my co. Got sold to competitor we quit, rented the house and lived and worked in Yellowstone park for a year, while we were young enough to enjoy. I was getting too old for that 14/7 shit.
I taught Special Ed. Teachers are batshit crazy Libs and minority schools so oppression is the curriculum. I hated it, but time off with my wife. the only thing I car about. Do I miss the level of success I had? You bet. the money? You bet. now I write and draw and convince myself that these will may become something. Maybe a little business. Can't give up reaching if you get the drift. Now I just sub, wife Ok with finance job but we will retire her in a few years. I now work on our fixer upper (nicer than others we've had though) and substitute teach.
I have about 15 years left on this earth so I'm OK with what's happening. Still want to do things with wife while I can so this works. Again, no kids and I understand trying to give kids he best or more than you have. that's changes everything. My parents wanted better for me. Now I'm trying to get cats in harnesses so we can take them on road trips. Well, thanks for getting me to write today. Do I have to go to the barrel for this ode?
One day talked to a nurse who talked about how she brought small houses, stayed in them for a couple of years to avoid cap gains, fixed them up a bit. Sweat equity. didn't roll profits into a bigger house but same, and less mortgage, made the extra payment each year, went to a 15 instead of 30 till she had no mortgage. My wife and I are thrifty at heart and so we looked at each other and thought we were idiots. So began a forced march. Had a program that showed how much we spent on lattes etc. in 10 years. Silly maybe but for us, powerful Cheese sandwiches for lunch, paying down mortgage with any extra. Even took a hit on getting rid of a lease car to buy a good used. Sold hostage on water bought fixer upper and spent weekends tearing off wallpaper. Sucked. Wasn't always upward. Real estate, stocks, unpredictable but the mindset was sound.
Long story short. No mortgage or car payments. When my co. Got sold to competitor we quit, rented the house and lived and worked in Yellowstone park for a year, while we were young enough to enjoy. I was getting too old for that 14/7 shit.
I taught Special Ed. Teachers are batshit crazy Libs and minority schools so oppression is the curriculum. I hated it, but time off with my wife. the only thing I car about. Do I miss the level of success I had? You bet. the money? You bet. now I write and draw and convince myself that these will may become something. Maybe a little business. Can't give up reaching if you get the drift. Now I just sub, wife Ok with finance job but we will retire her in a few years. I now work on our fixer upper (nicer than others we've had though) and substitute teach.
I have about 15 years left on this earth so I'm OK with what's happening. Still want to do things with wife while I can so this works. Again, no kids and I understand trying to give kids he best or more than you have. that's changes everything. My parents wanted better for me. Now I'm trying to get cats in harnesses so we can take them on road trips. Well, thanks for getting me to write today. Do I have to go to the barrel for this ode?
Posted by: Cannibal Bob 'it all tastes like chicken' at September 23, 2016 01:11 PM (pERRc)
228
My husband has been the primary breadwinner in our family. I worked part time when the kids were in school so I could be at home watching them myself after school hours and during the summers. The hubby was able to work really hard during the early years, and we ended up rather wealthy, much to our surprise. He/We just retired a few months ago at 63/58....Now we are trying to figure what to do with the rest of our lives. In the last 10 years or so we were able to live really well. Paid off upscale home, vacation home, etc. The *things*are nice, but they do not make me "happier". Our kids and family and friends are what make me happy. The best part of the whole money thing has been that it allowed our kids to attend college/grad school with no stress of debt. Life passes by really quickly. Anything you do to cement the relationships/friendships in your life is priceless. "Things" in your life don't love you back.
Posted by: LA ette, lakeside lurker at September 23, 2016 01:11 PM (TIp9V)
229
Great subject, Warden. My spouse and I have made decisions that have left us poorer for retirement, but our children had great educations, spent plenty of time with both of us and we are a close and loving family.
The trade off was well worth it. Very well worth it. But sometimes I have to hold back a bit of envy at some of our friends who have "achieved" a lot outside of their family life.
Lots of divorces though, so we get perspective when we talk about the whole picture.
The trade off was well worth it. Very well worth it. But sometimes I have to hold back a bit of envy at some of our friends who have "achieved" a lot outside of their family life.
Lots of divorces though, so we get perspective when we talk about the whole picture.
Posted by: Seems Legit at September 23, 2016 01:11 PM (U+nHb)
230
I left a very good paying job ( Mech Eng) which I was very good at to work at a Ski Area. I have absolutely no regrets.
The pay here may suck,but you won't find me dead at a desk from the stress. Today finds me mowing the slopes ( hours of boredom, moments of terror) but I've seen a hawk take a mouse right in front of the machine and 3 deer
Money does not buy happiness, it does make misery that much more enjoyable. What money can't buy, it will rent.
Being debt free ( because we're cheap bastards) gives a feeling of freedom the indebted will never know.
The pay here may suck,but you won't find me dead at a desk from the stress. Today finds me mowing the slopes ( hours of boredom, moments of terror) but I've seen a hawk take a mouse right in front of the machine and 3 deer
Money does not buy happiness, it does make misery that much more enjoyable. What money can't buy, it will rent.
Being debt free ( because we're cheap bastards) gives a feeling of freedom the indebted will never know.
Posted by: NativeNH at September 23, 2016 01:12 PM (oP43Y)
231
Sir (sounds like you're a dude):
You are not living. It will not be forever. It will probably be over before you're ready.
Start living.
You are not living. It will not be forever. It will probably be over before you're ready.
Start living.
Posted by: DAVID at September 23, 2016 01:12 PM (eVfZR)
232
Ok, all of you who don't know what to do with $10Million, don't worry! For a very reasonable fee I can provide an excellent list of suggestions!
Posted by: Deplorable @votermom at September 23, 2016 01:12 PM (Om16U)
233
Hey AlextheChick, has anyone truly explained why games for the PS4 and XBOXONE start out at $59.88?
Posted by: Anna Puma at September 23, 2016 01:13 PM (QflKB)
234
"Chelsea started raising her own daughter while leading a global
foundation, writing a book, and teaching. Some people still ask whether
a woman can be both a visionary leader and a first-rate mother. Chelsea
affirms the one-word answer for my daughter's generation: Yes."
Wow! How could she possibly raise one child on that measly $600,000.00 a year from NBC? What a woman!
"Chelsea started raising her own daughter while leading a global
foundation, writing a book, and teaching. Some people still ask whether
a woman can be both a visionary leader and a first-rate mother. Chelsea
affirms the one-word answer for my daughter's generation: Yes."
Wow! How could she possibly raise one child on that measly $600,000.00 a year from NBC? What a woman!
Posted by: West at September 23, 2016 01:13 PM (1Rgee)
235
Thanks so much, Jeff. If you're ever in Spokane, I'll buy you a craft beer. (I'd tried using "" a few times over the years ...which never worked, obviously. Didn't think about trying brackets, sigh.)
Posted by: brdavis9 at September 23, 2016 01:07 PM (xk+SM)
No worries. I had to ask, too, when the buttons broke. That's also when we (temporarily) lost ampersands.
Thanks so much, Jeff. If you're ever in Spokane, I'll buy you a craft beer. (I'd tried using "" a few times over the years ...which never worked, obviously. Didn't think about trying brackets, sigh.)
Posted by: brdavis9 at September 23, 2016 01:07 PM (xk+SM)
No worries. I had to ask, too, when the buttons broke. That's also when we (temporarily) lost ampersands.
Posted by: Jeff Weimer at September 23, 2016 01:13 PM (0Y6mc)
236
My wife filed for divorce after 30 years of marriage - our anniversary was 3 days ago. She spent it on Maui, the place we got married.
===
clutch cargo at September 23, 2016 12:36 PM (RHEDC)
Clutch: Not to sound like Bill Clinton or anything, but brother, I feel your pain. My ex made the process as painful and drawn out as possible. And expensive. I won't even talk about how he tried to sabotage our daughter's life.
Praying for you.
===
clutch cargo at September 23, 2016 12:36 PM (RHEDC)
Clutch: Not to sound like Bill Clinton or anything, but brother, I feel your pain. My ex made the process as painful and drawn out as possible. And expensive. I won't even talk about how he tried to sabotage our daughter's life.
Praying for you.
Posted by: Lurkette at September 23, 2016 01:14 PM (jVlNS)
237
When he was younger I was in a toy store with the elder of the Guevara spawn, and he was lovingly handling a toy. I offered to buy it for him, but he thought for a moment then put it back. "No thanks. I don't really need it."
He's going to be fine.
He's going to be fine.
Posted by: Deplorable Jay Guevara at September 23, 2016 01:14 PM (SRKgf)
238
What will you tell your kids about work, family and how to define success?
+++
Make the damned money. They don't pay you to stay home and play
+++
Make the damned money. They don't pay you to stay home and play
Posted by: Bigbys Olive Fingers at September 23, 2016 01:14 PM (3wzsT)
239
#81
Prop. 13 was very necessary at the time. My mother, newly widowed and with three children still minors, was expecting to be force to sell the family home because the property taxes were skyrocketing. The only way we'd be able to still live in a comparable home, which was no palace, was to leave the state entirely with no idea of where to go.
The state legislature had no interest in reining in the tax rates in acknowledgement of changing values. They cared solely for the deluge of money they saw coming in to throw at their pet projects. The people whose opinions they really cared about could afford the taxes.
Something had to change. What amazes me is that the same Governor who made this necessary is now Governor again.
Prop. 13 was very necessary at the time. My mother, newly widowed and with three children still minors, was expecting to be force to sell the family home because the property taxes were skyrocketing. The only way we'd be able to still live in a comparable home, which was no palace, was to leave the state entirely with no idea of where to go.
The state legislature had no interest in reining in the tax rates in acknowledgement of changing values. They cared solely for the deluge of money they saw coming in to throw at their pet projects. The people whose opinions they really cared about could afford the taxes.
Something had to change. What amazes me is that the same Governor who made this necessary is now Governor again.
Posted by: Epobirs at September 23, 2016 01:14 PM (IdCqF)
240
229 Great subject, Warden. My spouse and I have made decisions that have left us poorer for retirement, but our children had great educations, spent plenty of time with both of us and we are a close and loving family.
The trade off was well worth it. Very well worth it. But sometimes I have to hold back a bit of envy at some of our friends who have "achieved" a lot outside of their family life.
My stories pretty much like yours...Been married 43 years.... My husband likes to say you get less time for murder... Things are pretty good though.. great kids and grand kids and Friends.... I don't worry for Myself but I do worry for them about what the future might look like... That's why I think this election is so important...
The trade off was well worth it. Very well worth it. But sometimes I have to hold back a bit of envy at some of our friends who have "achieved" a lot outside of their family life.
My stories pretty much like yours...Been married 43 years.... My husband likes to say you get less time for murder... Things are pretty good though.. great kids and grand kids and Friends.... I don't worry for Myself but I do worry for them about what the future might look like... That's why I think this election is so important...
Posted by: deplorable donna at September 23, 2016 01:15 PM (O2RFr)
241
Wow. One of those threads I am sorry to have essentially missed, as I'm sure another thread is about to come along.
All of us are on the same journey, whatever point on it we are. I know we make choices, at times, that are not pleasant, but good grief, if the word "trapped" is coming into play, it's time to get out of the trap.
We don't get do-overs. If you're 25 years old right now, you'll never be 25 again. If you are 65, you get 365(6) days of it. Don't live as if you'll get another shot at it, because of course you won't.
I sincerely wish all of you Morons the peace of a good life, well lived. Even the lawyers and perfessers amongst us!
All of us are on the same journey, whatever point on it we are. I know we make choices, at times, that are not pleasant, but good grief, if the word "trapped" is coming into play, it's time to get out of the trap.
We don't get do-overs. If you're 25 years old right now, you'll never be 25 again. If you are 65, you get 365(6) days of it. Don't live as if you'll get another shot at it, because of course you won't.
I sincerely wish all of you Morons the peace of a good life, well lived. Even the lawyers and perfessers amongst us!
Posted by: BurtTC at September 23, 2016 01:15 PM (TOk1P)
242
True story. The year I graduated from law school in 2001 the job offers that I was getting were ridiculous (like half of what I was making before) and since I had a background in business (I had an MBA as well) I took a job with a big five accounting firm in their state tax consulting group. Great firm, great benefits, good salary. But my boss was an ass that expected us to stay as late as necessary and since my wife and I had two young boys at the time and she was a FT veterinarian, I had to scoot out regularly at 5 to get my boys by 6 from daycare. That didn't sit well with my boss and after a few months I knew how that story was going to end.
Then my youngest got sick (he stopped putting on weight) and while the tests were inconclusive we knew that daycare was no longer in the cards. Since my wife made about 2x what I was at the time, I decided to quit my job and take care of him FT. When I took over he started to improve but progress was slow so what I thought might be a ST hiatus began to look like a LT gig.
About a year after I quit (2003) my wife and I decided to open up our own veterinary clinic together and its been an awesome ride ever since. Moral of the story: follow your gut and don't let others (esp. your in-laws!) dissuade you from what you know in your heart is the right path. My wife and I now have five sons and a better life than we ever would have had if I'd stayed on that slave ship with my nose up someones rump clawing to make partner. We all have a just so many ticks on on the clock so make them count.
Then my youngest got sick (he stopped putting on weight) and while the tests were inconclusive we knew that daycare was no longer in the cards. Since my wife made about 2x what I was at the time, I decided to quit my job and take care of him FT. When I took over he started to improve but progress was slow so what I thought might be a ST hiatus began to look like a LT gig.
About a year after I quit (2003) my wife and I decided to open up our own veterinary clinic together and its been an awesome ride ever since. Moral of the story: follow your gut and don't let others (esp. your in-laws!) dissuade you from what you know in your heart is the right path. My wife and I now have five sons and a better life than we ever would have had if I'd stayed on that slave ship with my nose up someones rump clawing to make partner. We all have a just so many ticks on on the clock so make them count.
Posted by: volfan at September 23, 2016 01:16 PM (i0LP9)
243
Wow! How could she possibly raise one child on that measly $600,000.00 a year from NBC? What a woman!
Posted by: West at September 23, 2016 01:13 PM (1Rgee)
----
How you ask??
Caused Bill and Hillary just ponied up 1.2 mil for a house for them....... right next to theirs in Chappequa.
Its ALOT easier to make that measly $600k stretch without a mortgage payment.
Posted by: West at September 23, 2016 01:13 PM (1Rgee)
----
How you ask??
Caused Bill and Hillary just ponied up 1.2 mil for a house for them....... right next to theirs in Chappequa.
Its ALOT easier to make that measly $600k stretch without a mortgage payment.
Posted by: fixerupper at September 23, 2016 01:17 PM (8XRCm)
244
195 Patrick, I'll have to look you up when we do our next vacation. Our family will be too big for any of the Disney resorts once the baby hits 3.
Posted by: Lauren at September 23, 2016 01:04 PM (9iBwb)
FYI kids are free until age three, with park tickets and food.
DVC are Disney resorts, you get the same benefits as a Resort guest, extra magic hours, magic express. If you plan it right I might be able to get you on the monorail resort, they have a Studio, one bedroom, two bedroom and even a 2,500 three bedroom grand villa.
I am on Twitter at patricksp71
Posted by: Lauren at September 23, 2016 01:04 PM (9iBwb)
FYI kids are free until age three, with park tickets and food.
DVC are Disney resorts, you get the same benefits as a Resort guest, extra magic hours, magic express. If you plan it right I might be able to get you on the monorail resort, they have a Studio, one bedroom, two bedroom and even a 2,500 three bedroom grand villa.
I am on Twitter at patricksp71
Posted by: Patrick from Ohio at September 23, 2016 01:17 PM (dKiJG)
245
Instead of looking back - look forward. What is the saying? No one on their deathbed ever wished that they had a bigger house, expensive car, etc. They wished that they had spent more time with the ones they loved.
Posted by: Cheri at September 23, 2016 01:17 PM (oiNtH)
246
Re: these divorce stories...
My wife and I are happy together. We don't even fight. But I've said before when I hear some of the awful, awful shit women do to their husbands during divorce like harming or stealing the kids, or deliberately wrecking finances, and destroying property, that such things are grounds for murder.
Destroy my life and make me suffer for years and fuck up my children? I'll literally destroy yours. I'm very Old Testament "Vengeance is Mine" in that way.
Most people don't agree, but if divorce-vengeance murder were more common, I bet such disgusting tactics would be rarer.
My wife and I are happy together. We don't even fight. But I've said before when I hear some of the awful, awful shit women do to their husbands during divorce like harming or stealing the kids, or deliberately wrecking finances, and destroying property, that such things are grounds for murder.
Destroy my life and make me suffer for years and fuck up my children? I'll literally destroy yours. I'm very Old Testament "Vengeance is Mine" in that way.
Most people don't agree, but if divorce-vengeance murder were more common, I bet such disgusting tactics would be rarer.
Posted by: Apostate at September 23, 2016 01:18 PM (8hqz+)
247
I feel extremely blessed. After retiring from the military (no, you can't live on that retirement) I eventually landed in a position where I do IT work from home. I've had plenty of offers to work doing the same thing at local businesses, and when looking at the commute time, dress requirements, food costs, etc I would need an extra $15K to break even. I get to work my own schedule (mostly) and with a disabled wife with tons of Dr. appointments that is marvelous. I generally enjoy my job and hope like heck I can stretch this out another 4-5 years.
Posted by: Dave at September 23, 2016 01:18 PM (kH/If)
248
Its ALOT easier to make that measly $600k stretch without a mortgage payment
So are they gonna sell Hillary's emergency room in NY? The 10 million dollar one?
So are they gonna sell Hillary's emergency room in NY? The 10 million dollar one?
Posted by: deplorable donna at September 23, 2016 01:18 PM (O2RFr)
249
Lauren,
It will just be me and my husband unless he backs out, then it would just be me.
It will just be me and my husband unless he backs out, then it would just be me.
Posted by: lindafell- deplorable, racist, sexist, homophobic, xenophobic, Islamaphobic redneck at September 23, 2016 01:18 PM (JNDQi)
250
Yeah, don't mistake my intention.
I don't regret my choices. I made them. We are financially comfortable. We have a nice portfolio of retirement investments and we take 1-2 vacations every year (mostly through my relentless credit card points churning).
I've been preaching about living below your means to my wife for our whole marriage. She used to get so pissed off at all the things our neighbors had that we didn't. And then she started working in personal finance and saw the debt side of the ledger for most families.
And she said, "Damn. You were so right. Those people are broke."
And that's why we buy all our cars 1-2 years used and pay cash for them.
I don't regret my choices. I made them. We are financially comfortable. We have a nice portfolio of retirement investments and we take 1-2 vacations every year (mostly through my relentless credit card points churning).
I've been preaching about living below your means to my wife for our whole marriage. She used to get so pissed off at all the things our neighbors had that we didn't. And then she started working in personal finance and saw the debt side of the ledger for most families.
And she said, "Damn. You were so right. Those people are broke."
And that's why we buy all our cars 1-2 years used and pay cash for them.
Posted by: Warden at September 23, 2016 01:18 PM (MZ8Zz)
251
Hey, how you feel about your job and life choices is totally up to you and, to the extent you want, important others in your life like a spouse, life partner, whomever. Comparing yourself to higher earning or higher living others is self-defeating.
Sounds to me like you are perfectly happy with the choices you've made and the trade-offs. Let yourself be.
Sounds to me like you are perfectly happy with the choices you've made and the trade-offs. Let yourself be.
Posted by: steve walsh at September 23, 2016 01:18 PM (SPxQP)
252
This is like one big group hug. Me likey.
Posted by: Lurker primus at September 23, 2016 01:18 PM (B3qs7)
253
But the 20-year old ones are liberating. No debt. No
effing debt. And you insurance is cheaper, too, because you need not
buy collision coverage.
Auto loan debt is just another component of the money trap.
Posted by: Alberta Oil Peon at September 23, 2016 01:04 PM (Bvr/A)
Amen. All debt is a money trap, but look at the interest you pay for an auto-loan, and if it goes TU (transmission up) at any time, you still have to pay off the loan and get a better one.
I bought a 20 year old Honda, in cash, after my previous 20 year old Honda had a critical failure, and I am now putting money aside to buy a newer car in a year.
It is a game, yes, but one that pays better than Lotto.
effing debt. And you insurance is cheaper, too, because you need not
buy collision coverage.
Auto loan debt is just another component of the money trap.
Posted by: Alberta Oil Peon at September 23, 2016 01:04 PM (Bvr/A)
Amen. All debt is a money trap, but look at the interest you pay for an auto-loan, and if it goes TU (transmission up) at any time, you still have to pay off the loan and get a better one.
I bought a 20 year old Honda, in cash, after my previous 20 year old Honda had a critical failure, and I am now putting money aside to buy a newer car in a year.
It is a game, yes, but one that pays better than Lotto.
Posted by: Kindltot at September 23, 2016 01:18 PM (KOBAq)
254
Code Red
I totally get the feeling of under-accomplishment, despite having made all the choices that guarantee I'll have, "here lies a man who got all he ever wanted," on my stone. The moment we started having kids, I kept my hours down, jobs close and travel limited. Lost money and opportunities galore. Got kids ranging from 12 to 20 who love me and are an absolute joy to have around. My sweetheart sweeps the stress off my shoulders every time I enter the home. I could not ask for a better life.
Had a lot of tough years taking care of declining parents and in-laws, even to the point of spending money on them that we could not spare. A toxic work environment that has me counting the days to retirement. But my wife and my kids put all they could into helping me and still do today. I am beyond lucky.
But the newest car I have in my drive was built in 1998 and just overheated this morning on the way to work. My house needs a roof, new front door, driveway and, well, the interior is no better. All my neighbors cars are less than 6 years old, many take spring break vacations in addition to summer vacations. They go to plays, concerts and ballgames. I try to find opportunities like those for my family, but they're not in the budget. I make very good money, but I have very high costs and things are always breaking.
So, I admit to a bit of envy when I see my peers doing so much better materially. I don't thing a person can help but make those comparisons and they can hurt, especially if you're the breadwinner. But, at the end of the day, I'll remember something like the Cub Scout camping trips with my son, where he would insist on staying awake for a couple hours in the tent after lights out to hear me tell stories about our family and my own youth.
After that, the neighbor's car loses it shine and doesn't look so new.
I totally get the feeling of under-accomplishment, despite having made all the choices that guarantee I'll have, "here lies a man who got all he ever wanted," on my stone. The moment we started having kids, I kept my hours down, jobs close and travel limited. Lost money and opportunities galore. Got kids ranging from 12 to 20 who love me and are an absolute joy to have around. My sweetheart sweeps the stress off my shoulders every time I enter the home. I could not ask for a better life.
Had a lot of tough years taking care of declining parents and in-laws, even to the point of spending money on them that we could not spare. A toxic work environment that has me counting the days to retirement. But my wife and my kids put all they could into helping me and still do today. I am beyond lucky.
But the newest car I have in my drive was built in 1998 and just overheated this morning on the way to work. My house needs a roof, new front door, driveway and, well, the interior is no better. All my neighbors cars are less than 6 years old, many take spring break vacations in addition to summer vacations. They go to plays, concerts and ballgames. I try to find opportunities like those for my family, but they're not in the budget. I make very good money, but I have very high costs and things are always breaking.
So, I admit to a bit of envy when I see my peers doing so much better materially. I don't thing a person can help but make those comparisons and they can hurt, especially if you're the breadwinner. But, at the end of the day, I'll remember something like the Cub Scout camping trips with my son, where he would insist on staying awake for a couple hours in the tent after lights out to hear me tell stories about our family and my own youth.
After that, the neighbor's car loses it shine and doesn't look so new.
Posted by: Cricket624 at September 23, 2016 01:18 PM (or0NX)
255
Anna Wintour does a great disservice to women Chelsea's age to basically say to them, "You can have it all!" since Chelsea is an extremely privileged position that they will never see. Never.
Posted by: FenelonSpoke, redeemed and redeemable at September 23, 2016 01:19 PM (EnGQE)
256
It's funny, I was just saying how incredibly boring my job has become.
But today we are terribly short staffed today. I haven't enjoyed work this much in a long time.
I think we are horribly overstaffed.
But today we are terribly short staffed today. I haven't enjoyed work this much in a long time.
I think we are horribly overstaffed.
Posted by: Max Power at September 23, 2016 01:19 PM (q177U)
257
♫♫
Chelsea can bring home the bacon!
Fry it up in a pan!
And never, never, never let you forget you're a man!
'Cause she's a Clinton!!
Chelsea can bring home the bacon!
Fry it up in a pan!
And never, never, never let you forget you're a man!
'Cause she's a Clinton!!
Posted by: Seamus Muldoon at September 23, 2016 01:20 PM (wPiJc)
258
I've been retired (disabled) now for five years. I'm 47. So yes i'm poor. thankfully i purchased long term disability insurance when i was still able to work. In the whole picture of life family and health and faith are more important than work and money. Although I miss work and money.
Posted by: USNtakim at September 23, 2016 01:20 PM (hMqvx)
Posted by: West at September 23, 2016 01:20 PM (1Rgee)
260
I haven't heard anyone cite this simple truism, but here it is: You're better off making $100K per year and living like you're making $50K, than making $50K per year and living like you're making $100K.
Not something that seems to be well-understood in some circles.
Not something that seems to be well-understood in some circles.
Posted by: V the K at September 23, 2016 01:20 PM (O7MnT)
261
7 One thing we can do to have happier lives- ignore the advice of real estate agents who tell you to buy as much house as you can afford. Being house poor means losing many other opportunities for an enriching family life. posted by: But You Can Refinance! at September 23, 2016 12:18 PM (aqvG3)
I second this one. I have been in my career 29 years. Still living in the house we bought 22 years ago. We could have "afforded" a bigger and better house, but our house is plenty large enough, in a good neighborhood. Has allow us to travel extensively and afford lots more.
I second this one. I have been in my career 29 years. Still living in the house we bought 22 years ago. We could have "afforded" a bigger and better house, but our house is plenty large enough, in a good neighborhood. Has allow us to travel extensively and afford lots more.
Posted by: duke at September 23, 2016 01:21 PM (EQNFN)
262
The thread mill gets old. SAVE money NOW while you are young. As it grows your freedom will grow.
Trust me, I am old.
Trust me, I am old.
Posted by: Nip Sip at September 23, 2016 01:21 PM (NbJXF)
263
Second Law of Moneydynamics:
What was once a want will become a need.
Third Law of Moneydynamics:
Your needs will grow in direct proportion to your income.
What was once a want will become a need.
Third Law of Moneydynamics:
Your needs will grow in direct proportion to your income.
Posted by: Anchovy at September 23, 2016 01:21 PM (a42oI)
264
My "sage advice" at age 65 and retired:
-Only you can be the best parent for your kids. So be it!
-Work does not have to fulfill all of your dreams. Outside activities, family, etc. is much more rewarding and you control the demands. Sometimes people even say thank you!
-If you are unhappy with your job, do something about it! Blaming being trapped is just an excuse to do nothing.
-Only you can be the best parent for your kids. So be it!
-Work does not have to fulfill all of your dreams. Outside activities, family, etc. is much more rewarding and you control the demands. Sometimes people even say thank you!
-If you are unhappy with your job, do something about it! Blaming being trapped is just an excuse to do nothing.
Posted by: Zogger at September 23, 2016 01:21 PM (SKahJ)
265
So many in my family have gone through divorces, (I never married) (one example) It's really sad to see a 50 year old with a good job, but with nothing (really, nothing) who poured money into a new home, and lots of wants not needs, loosing it all through bankruptcy. (his second) I'd guess my family experiences are not unusual with the divorce rate around 50%.
Posted by: Hillary for the future, Free!! at September 23, 2016 01:21 PM (du8ty)
266
Been there, done that, have the T-shirt and ruined life.
Posted by: Insomniac - Irredeemably Deplorable at September 23, 2016 01:02 PM (0mRoj)
Don't let her ruin your life, honey.
She ruined your past. Don't allow her to ruin your future, too. That's on you. Don' let her have that power over you.
Posted by: Insomniac - Irredeemably Deplorable at September 23, 2016 01:02 PM (0mRoj)
Don't let her ruin your life, honey.
She ruined your past. Don't allow her to ruin your future, too. That's on you. Don' let her have that power over you.
Posted by: Tammy al-Thor at September 23, 2016 01:21 PM (GcpvU)
Posted by: Independent George (or the commenter formerly known as Serenity Now!) at September 23, 2016 01:21 PM (BDZWU)
268
We drive a 14 year old car, has a really bluetooth nice radio (Crutchfield) and the Goodyears are worth more than the car at this point. Drive the sucker over to the marina and stay on our 30 year old sailboat one block from the beach. How can we afford a yacht, well it cost less per month than a new car would, can't sail an BWM to the Bahamas either....
Posted by: That Garbone at September 23, 2016 01:22 PM (BntUA)
269
Auto loan debt is just another component of the money trap.
1. Pay off your car.
2. Put an amount equal to your car payment into a savings account every month.
3. By the time you're ready to get another car, you'll have enough saved to pay cash... and then some.
1. Pay off your car.
2. Put an amount equal to your car payment into a savings account every month.
3. By the time you're ready to get another car, you'll have enough saved to pay cash... and then some.
Posted by: V the K at September 23, 2016 01:22 PM (O7MnT)
270
"and my husband unless he backs out, then it would just be me"
Cool. I was wondering if there would be other kiddos there or if I should ditch mine. Haha. (Hey, like I said I homeschool ok. I am with them All. The. Time.)
Cool. I was wondering if there would be other kiddos there or if I should ditch mine. Haha. (Hey, like I said I homeschool ok. I am with them All. The. Time.)
Posted by: Lauren at September 23, 2016 01:22 PM (9iBwb)
271
god damn, I'm 35 years old (married) and what I wouldn't give to get some of you "seasoned" commenters in one room so I can ask about all kinds of life-decision problems RE: having kids, raising a family, managing finances, etc. etc.
Some of you have GREAT successes, some of you recognize the mistakes you made in the past and are doing what you can rectify things and right the ship.
I just always get psyched up for this type of thing because I recognize the value of experience and want to capture as much of it as I can.
Some of you have GREAT successes, some of you recognize the mistakes you made in the past and are doing what you can rectify things and right the ship.
I just always get psyched up for this type of thing because I recognize the value of experience and want to capture as much of it as I can.
Posted by: jreffy at September 23, 2016 01:23 PM (wX0ke)
272
262 The thread mill gets old. SAVE money NOW while you are young. As it grows your freedom will grow.
And don't tie yourself to someone who makes that impossible.
And don't tie yourself to someone who makes that impossible.
Posted by: Insomniac - Irredeemably Deplorable at September 23, 2016 01:23 PM (0mRoj)
273
Why Anna Wintour (the real life Devil who wears Prada) just said:
"Chelsea started raising her own daughter while leading a global foundation, writing a book, and teaching. Some people still ask whether a woman can be both a visionary leader and a first-rate mother. Chelsea affirms the one-word answer for my daughter's generation: Yes."
So suck it up.
Posted by: Ignoramus at September 23, 2016 12:55 PM (r1fLd)
And the little princess does it all on her own with out a single bit of help from anyone all while healing the sick with just a smooch from her Web Hubell lips
"Chelsea started raising her own daughter while leading a global foundation, writing a book, and teaching. Some people still ask whether a woman can be both a visionary leader and a first-rate mother. Chelsea affirms the one-word answer for my daughter's generation: Yes."
So suck it up.
Posted by: Ignoramus at September 23, 2016 12:55 PM (r1fLd)
And the little princess does it all on her own with out a single bit of help from anyone all while healing the sick with just a smooch from her Web Hubell lips
Posted by: TheQuietMan at September 23, 2016 01:23 PM (auHtY)
Posted by: Hillary Clinton at September 23, 2016 01:23 PM (iLoHX)
275
Posted by: clutch cargo at September 23, 2016 12:36 PM (RHEDC)
ugh...sorry....hits very close to home.....
ugh...sorry....hits very close to home.....
Posted by: phoenixgirl, deplorable is better than despicable at September 23, 2016 01:23 PM (0O7c5)
276
I haven't heard anyone cite this simple truism, but here it is: You're better off making $100K per year and living like you're making $50K, than making $50K per year and living like you're making $100K.
--
Yes, I was tought to live on half of your income. 20 percent will go to taxes, put 20 percent to savings, give 10 percent to church/charity, and live on the rest.
--
Yes, I was tought to live on half of your income. 20 percent will go to taxes, put 20 percent to savings, give 10 percent to church/charity, and live on the rest.
Posted by: Vashta Nerada at September 23, 2016 01:23 PM (7ZVPa)
277
One of my favorite rock songs ever in Lynard Skynyrd "Simple Man" -- that is the man aspire to be now.
***************
I feel you, brother.
One financial piece of advice I'll give my sons is never marry a woman who loves to spend money. She will ruin your life.
Mine is relatively frugal, thank God.
***************
I feel you, brother.
One financial piece of advice I'll give my sons is never marry a woman who loves to spend money. She will ruin your life.
Mine is relatively frugal, thank God.
Posted by: Warden at September 23, 2016 01:24 PM (MZ8Zz)
278
"LMAO. Where I come from $500k gets you a two bedroom house next door to an illegal alien clown house."
Hi neighbor!
Hi neighbor!
Posted by: DCPensFAn at September 23, 2016 01:24 PM (xNplS)
Posted by: Mama AJ at September 23, 2016 01:25 PM (gTQoY)
280
278 "LMAO. Where I come from $500k gets you a two bedroom house next door to an illegal alien clown house."
Same here...
Same here...
Posted by: deplorable donna at September 23, 2016 01:25 PM (O2RFr)
281
A true story. The former head of the county commission here, a democrat lawyer who was in my club, told me he is broke.
This guy was a liberal spend and spend, member of a CC, big talker and he admitted to me that he was STILL working at 75. Said he was broke.
I asked him how could that be? He said he spent everything he ever made.
Democrats just don't get it.
SAVE MONEY, idiots or you will always be just "help"
This guy was a liberal spend and spend, member of a CC, big talker and he admitted to me that he was STILL working at 75. Said he was broke.
I asked him how could that be? He said he spent everything he ever made.
Democrats just don't get it.
SAVE MONEY, idiots or you will always be just "help"
Posted by: Nip Sip at September 23, 2016 01:25 PM (NbJXF)
282
Clutch: My ex made the process as painful and drawn out as possible. And expensive. I won't even talk about how he tried to sabotage our daughter's life.
Praying for you.
Posted by: Lurkette
During my divorce my ex wanted to fight over anything of value down to the china. He wanted to drag it out in court and make it painful. I decided to not fight and let him have everything. I moved into a very small house with sparse furnishings and decided to buy my own 'valuables' a piece at a time. It was well worth cutting him off and the aggravation and stress that a prolonged court fight would have cost me and the kids mentally. My kids are loving and very intelligent and understood the games he was playing.
Praying for you.
Posted by: Lurkette
During my divorce my ex wanted to fight over anything of value down to the china. He wanted to drag it out in court and make it painful. I decided to not fight and let him have everything. I moved into a very small house with sparse furnishings and decided to buy my own 'valuables' a piece at a time. It was well worth cutting him off and the aggravation and stress that a prolonged court fight would have cost me and the kids mentally. My kids are loving and very intelligent and understood the games he was playing.
Posted by: Cheri at September 23, 2016 01:26 PM (oiNtH)
283
Of course living on half your income would be a lot easier if the government kept its hands out of your pockets.
My husband's salary is structured so 1/5 of his pay comes in the form of a yearly bonus.
The taxes on that are so ridiculous it makes me want to puke.
My husband's salary is structured so 1/5 of his pay comes in the form of a yearly bonus.
The taxes on that are so ridiculous it makes me want to puke.
Posted by: Lauren at September 23, 2016 01:26 PM (9iBwb)
284
266 Been there, done that, have the T-shirt and ruined life.
Posted by: Insomniac - Irredeemably Deplorable at September 23, 2016 01:02 PM (0mRoj)
Don't let her ruin your life, honey.
She ruined your past. Don't allow her to ruin your future, too. That's on you. Don' let her have that power over you.
Posted by: Tammy al-Thor at September 23, 2016 01:21 PM (GcpvU)
Here's the thing, Tammy. All I wanted out of life was having a wife and kids - a family - that lasted. That's gone now. There is no future.
Posted by: Insomniac - Irredeemably Deplorable at September 23, 2016 01:02 PM (0mRoj)
Don't let her ruin your life, honey.
She ruined your past. Don't allow her to ruin your future, too. That's on you. Don' let her have that power over you.
Posted by: Tammy al-Thor at September 23, 2016 01:21 PM (GcpvU)
Here's the thing, Tammy. All I wanted out of life was having a wife and kids - a family - that lasted. That's gone now. There is no future.
Posted by: Insomniac - Irredeemably Deplorable at September 23, 2016 01:26 PM (0mRoj)
285
What would Moo Moo do?
Posted by: Bertram Cabot Jr. at September 23, 2016 01:26 PM (IqV8l)
286
I have at least 1-2 friends who are in similar situations - their travel schedule is relentless, they're never home, their spouses and kids never see them in person (Skype is a piss-poor substitute). They're exhausted and pretty miserable; their $60K plus cars and $750K plus houses and country club memberships notwithstanding.
I don't envy them for a moment from my beneath-my-means 1000-square-foot condo, dependable $20K car and 45-50 hour never-bring-work-home rarely-on-the-road workweek. I also have managed after almost 30-years as a professional engineer to work myself into a job where I genuinely like my boss and colleagues, am well paid with good benefits and even like what I do at least half the time.
In other words, I'm truly blessed.
I've always had the philosophy that I should live beneath my means, buy quality over quantity, and family-first - not that I've always lived that philosophy anything close to perfectly. To me, work is what I need to do to earn the money I need to provide a reasonably lifestyle for myself and my family and be able to afford to do some stuff I actually want to do. Work is life and life is work - I cannot separate one from another but neither do I allow my work to become my life.
I have no idea if that makes any sense to anyone other than me.
I also have to say, as I alluded above, it's taken me almost 30-years to get to this point and there were a whole lots of twists and turns along the way - including a lay-off, 2 trips to grad school and at least one fundamental shift in my career direction. Messy though the path was at times, I wouldn't change a thing.
(steps down from corner soapbox)
I don't envy them for a moment from my beneath-my-means 1000-square-foot condo, dependable $20K car and 45-50 hour never-bring-work-home rarely-on-the-road workweek. I also have managed after almost 30-years as a professional engineer to work myself into a job where I genuinely like my boss and colleagues, am well paid with good benefits and even like what I do at least half the time.
In other words, I'm truly blessed.
I've always had the philosophy that I should live beneath my means, buy quality over quantity, and family-first - not that I've always lived that philosophy anything close to perfectly. To me, work is what I need to do to earn the money I need to provide a reasonably lifestyle for myself and my family and be able to afford to do some stuff I actually want to do. Work is life and life is work - I cannot separate one from another but neither do I allow my work to become my life.
I have no idea if that makes any sense to anyone other than me.
I also have to say, as I alluded above, it's taken me almost 30-years to get to this point and there were a whole lots of twists and turns along the way - including a lay-off, 2 trips to grad school and at least one fundamental shift in my career direction. Messy though the path was at times, I wouldn't change a thing.
(steps down from corner soapbox)
Posted by: DocJ at September 23, 2016 01:27 PM (NYS7S)
287
Ah yes cars. I'm 64 and have owned 7 cars to date. Last 5 all used and driven into the ground. $800 once a year beats $300 a month.
Now motorcycles are another matter.
Now motorcycles are another matter.
Posted by: NativeNH at September 23, 2016 01:27 PM (oP43Y)
288
277 One of my favorite rock songs ever in Lynard Skynyrd "Simple Man" -- that is the man aspire to be now.
***************
I feel you, brother.
One financial piece of advice I'll give my sons is never marry a woman who loves to spend money. She will ruin your life.
Mine is relatively frugal, thank God.
Posted by: Warden at September 23, 2016 01:24 PM (MZ8Zz)
Solid advice. There's more to the formula, I think, but that's essential.
***************
I feel you, brother.
One financial piece of advice I'll give my sons is never marry a woman who loves to spend money. She will ruin your life.
Mine is relatively frugal, thank God.
Posted by: Warden at September 23, 2016 01:24 PM (MZ8Zz)
Solid advice. There's more to the formula, I think, but that's essential.
Posted by: Insomniac - Irredeemably Deplorable at September 23, 2016 01:27 PM (0mRoj)
Posted by: Lauren at September 23, 2016 01:28 PM (9iBwb)
290
Here's the thing, Tammy. All I wanted out of life
was having a wife and kids - a family - that lasted. That's gone now.
There is no future.
Posted by: Insomniac - Irredeemably Deplorable at September 23, 2016 01:26 PM (0mRoj)
True, there is ONLY today.
Live it as if it were your last one, and you will be OK.
was having a wife and kids - a family - that lasted. That's gone now.
There is no future.
Posted by: Insomniac - Irredeemably Deplorable at September 23, 2016 01:26 PM (0mRoj)
True, there is ONLY today.
Live it as if it were your last one, and you will be OK.
Posted by: Nip Sip at September 23, 2016 01:28 PM (NbJXF)
291
The taxes on that are so ridiculous it makes me want to puke.
Posted by: Lauren at September 23, 2016 01:26 PM (9iBwb)
----
Same here.... cept my % is alot higher.
That tax bite hurts a fucking lot. For one paycheck, I am taxed at the highest effective rate.
Thanks Obama.
Posted by: Lauren at September 23, 2016 01:26 PM (9iBwb)
----
Same here.... cept my % is alot higher.
That tax bite hurts a fucking lot. For one paycheck, I am taxed at the highest effective rate.
Thanks Obama.
Posted by: fixerupper at September 23, 2016 01:28 PM (8XRCm)
292
Yup.
I've got a job that more than pays my bills. I'm not advancing in my skill set and the job frequently involves dealing with idiots.
But it's work, not fun. It's there in the title. I've had worse jobs, most of which paid much worse. And really, the money IS a trap.
But having been on both sides of the line, it's better to have money than not.
I've got a job that more than pays my bills. I'm not advancing in my skill set and the job frequently involves dealing with idiots.
But it's work, not fun. It's there in the title. I've had worse jobs, most of which paid much worse. And really, the money IS a trap.
But having been on both sides of the line, it's better to have money than not.
Posted by: Mark Andrew Edwards at September 23, 2016 01:28 PM (dGW8H)
293
I have a good corporate job that I hate but it pays well enough. I've decided to invest in some real estate to create new income so I can go part time in my day job (maybe even quit) but the transition sucks. My wife is getting resentful that I'm spending 7 days a week either at work or at the apartments. What keeps me going is knowing it has an end goal that I'll be home more and have a more flexible schedule, I also try to keep in mind the old stories of the guys who spent years on voyages and on campaigns before coming home to their family with their kids half grown up. That would suck, seeing my kid just an hour or two a day is a pittance to pay in comparison since I know it'll end and I'll be able to spend more days at the zoo and libraries teaching her about how awesome Jefferson and Washington were and how crooked FDR and JFK were.
Posted by: allenlou at September 23, 2016 01:28 PM (m3iiU)
Posted by: Insomniac - Irredeemably Deplorable at September 23, 2016 01:29 PM (0mRoj)
295
My husband's salary is structured so 1/5 of his pay comes in the form of a yearly bonus.
The taxes on that are so ridiculous it makes me want to puke.
Posted by: Lauren
--
Yes, they tax you like you make that paycheck every month.
The taxes on that are so ridiculous it makes me want to puke.
Posted by: Lauren
--
Yes, they tax you like you make that paycheck every month.
Posted by: Vashta Nerada at September 23, 2016 01:29 PM (7ZVPa)
296
Raised my two sons alone Now one owns his own business and the other is Special Forces. I wouldn't change a thing and I'm glad I did what I did. Could use about a million bucks tho :-)
Posted by: Rick554 at September 23, 2016 01:29 PM (bqml4)
297
Now motorcycles are another matter.
Posted by: NativeNH at September 23, 2016 01:27 PM (oP43Y)
-----
You misspelled "firearms".
Posted by: NativeNH at September 23, 2016 01:27 PM (oP43Y)
-----
You misspelled "firearms".
Posted by: fixerupper at September 23, 2016 01:29 PM (8XRCm)
298
>>>Why Anna Wintour (the real life Devil who wears Prada) just said:
This is the written equivalent of a Stalin propaganda poster. How such things manage to convince anyone is beyond me. They are crass and nauseating.
This is the written equivalent of a Stalin propaganda poster. How such things manage to convince anyone is beyond me. They are crass and nauseating.
Posted by: Yuimetal at September 23, 2016 01:30 PM (iLoHX)
299
I have a dingy-white color job with fine blue collar tastes.
Could not have worked out better if I tried. And I did not. I just got damn lucky by not being able to afford Rose Hulman.
Folks ... make no mistake. It is not allowable to move up the company ladder without accumulating the house/car/clothes equal to the position.
Nobody wants a CFO living in a modular. Even though it's really low overhead.
Could not have worked out better if I tried. And I did not. I just got damn lucky by not being able to afford Rose Hulman.
Folks ... make no mistake. It is not allowable to move up the company ladder without accumulating the house/car/clothes equal to the position.
Nobody wants a CFO living in a modular. Even though it's really low overhead.
Posted by: ScoggDog at September 23, 2016 01:30 PM (0kPjF)
300
"That tax bite hurts a fucking lot. For one paycheck, I am taxed at the highest effective rate.
"
Yep. And the well meaning tell you "well you'll get it back at tax time" as if that negates the fact that you've given the government a 6 month interest free loan. What a freaking scam.
"
Yep. And the well meaning tell you "well you'll get it back at tax time" as if that negates the fact that you've given the government a 6 month interest free loan. What a freaking scam.
Posted by: Lauren at September 23, 2016 01:30 PM (9iBwb)
301
"I also have to say, as I alluded above, it's taken me almost 30-years to get to this point and there were a whole lots of twists and turns along the way - including a lay-off, 2 trips to grad school and at least one fundamental shift in my career direction. "
OMG, are you future me?
Got laid off from law firm, went through bankruptcy. Used residual military benefits to go back to school for electrical engineering. Killing it, so far (3.83 GPA) and already got offer for when I graduate (like I mentioned before). New employer said it was likely to pay for M.S. degree if I stick around, which would be my second trip into grad school.
After all that, I can return to law via the patent route, or stick it out in engineering for good.
Happy to hear that a long winding, weird ass road like mine can still lead to a happy ending.
OMG, are you future me?
Got laid off from law firm, went through bankruptcy. Used residual military benefits to go back to school for electrical engineering. Killing it, so far (3.83 GPA) and already got offer for when I graduate (like I mentioned before). New employer said it was likely to pay for M.S. degree if I stick around, which would be my second trip into grad school.
After all that, I can return to law via the patent route, or stick it out in engineering for good.
Happy to hear that a long winding, weird ass road like mine can still lead to a happy ending.
Posted by: Apostate at September 23, 2016 01:31 PM (8hqz+)
302
My son worked in DC and NYC, major part of his income was bonus.
He quit his job and moved back to CLT. What he was paying NYC and DC taxes on his bonus, now pays his mortgage with money left over.
He quit his job and moved back to CLT. What he was paying NYC and DC taxes on his bonus, now pays his mortgage with money left over.
Posted by: Nip Sip at September 23, 2016 01:31 PM (NbJXF)
303
Hey AlextheChick, has anyone truly explained why games for the PS4 and XBOXONE start out at $59.88?
Posted by: Anna Puma at September 23, 2016 01:13 PM (QflKB)
Price fixing. There's a lot of blather about market points and stuff like that but, pretty much, price fixing. It's also why consoles cost the same at all vendors with minor variants on what is tossed into the bundle. I used to know what it's not a monopoly and price fixing violation but I forgot all that by now.
It's also psychological. Sixty bucks is well that's dinner and a movie for a couple of weeks and I can do that. The true price point for a AAA game is between $110-125. Why? Because to keep income flowing there will be multiple expansions. That's why it is more economical to buy the "Special Edition" that contains the Season Pass and get the various and sundry cosmetic and/or weapons extras than to buy regular or wait a couple months for used and then buy the DLC.
That's assuming it's a release you want Day One play. For example, I was in the For Honor closed alpha and it was insanely polished for an alpha release and it's a very strong game that I now know that I probably won't buy for Day One. Why? Because the control scheme is Dark Souls 3 difficult crossed up with Mortal Kombat X skills set ups and, frankly, I am not coordinated enough for that. I need a button masher for sword games. Hella good game. Ridiculously good and that's just from the alpha. But it's not worth $120 to me. $50-60 to screw around in a year from now? Yup. But full price now? Nope. We'll see what happens with the beta but that's my impression.
And before anyone starts on the video games are a stupid waste of time and money, I've gotten hundreds, probably pushing a thousand, hours of entertainment out of just the PS4 stuff. I've invested well under a grand between system and games and in return my ROI on entertainment is now under a dollar an hour and that will continue to drop. Not even Netflix is that good a deal.
(Obligatory: Remember, I game while watching a movie/sports/tv show on the other tv while listening to an Indians game on the radio while talking to Bander while reading a book. And screwing around online. No, I don't have ADD, I'm just hyper.)
Posted by: Anna Puma at September 23, 2016 01:13 PM (QflKB)
Price fixing. There's a lot of blather about market points and stuff like that but, pretty much, price fixing. It's also why consoles cost the same at all vendors with minor variants on what is tossed into the bundle. I used to know what it's not a monopoly and price fixing violation but I forgot all that by now.
It's also psychological. Sixty bucks is well that's dinner and a movie for a couple of weeks and I can do that. The true price point for a AAA game is between $110-125. Why? Because to keep income flowing there will be multiple expansions. That's why it is more economical to buy the "Special Edition" that contains the Season Pass and get the various and sundry cosmetic and/or weapons extras than to buy regular or wait a couple months for used and then buy the DLC.
That's assuming it's a release you want Day One play. For example, I was in the For Honor closed alpha and it was insanely polished for an alpha release and it's a very strong game that I now know that I probably won't buy for Day One. Why? Because the control scheme is Dark Souls 3 difficult crossed up with Mortal Kombat X skills set ups and, frankly, I am not coordinated enough for that. I need a button masher for sword games. Hella good game. Ridiculously good and that's just from the alpha. But it's not worth $120 to me. $50-60 to screw around in a year from now? Yup. But full price now? Nope. We'll see what happens with the beta but that's my impression.
And before anyone starts on the video games are a stupid waste of time and money, I've gotten hundreds, probably pushing a thousand, hours of entertainment out of just the PS4 stuff. I've invested well under a grand between system and games and in return my ROI on entertainment is now under a dollar an hour and that will continue to drop. Not even Netflix is that good a deal.
(Obligatory: Remember, I game while watching a movie/sports/tv show on the other tv while listening to an Indians game on the radio while talking to Bander while reading a book. And screwing around online. No, I don't have ADD, I'm just hyper.)
Posted by: alexthechick - unskewed at September 23, 2016 01:31 PM (mf5HN)
304
You've described a typical phenomenon here in SoCal. I recognized it early on and have owned/operated my own business for 10 years. Toil performed by one's own hands in sync with personal goals is the only way to complete a fulfilling life cycle.
Posted by: Jeff E. at September 23, 2016 01:31 PM (1yOGV)
Posted by: DCPensFAn at September 23, 2016 01:31 PM (xNplS)
306
Our investment portfolio is not bad but our cash flow is less than ideal right now. So that means working at a job that I enjoy at times but would really like to move on from.
I've been spend some time recently thinking about what I really want as a lifestyle--and examining ways of getting. Some things are important--travel being one. Somethings like a big house are not. The key issue is time--to be active in church, time with the grandkids, time for mission trips.
I do like a good car. I recently read The 4-hour workweek by Timothy Ferris, which has me pondering creative ways to get to the lifestyle my wife and I want.
I've been spend some time recently thinking about what I really want as a lifestyle--and examining ways of getting. Some things are important--travel being one. Somethings like a big house are not. The key issue is time--to be active in church, time with the grandkids, time for mission trips.
I do like a good car. I recently read The 4-hour workweek by Timothy Ferris, which has me pondering creative ways to get to the lifestyle my wife and I want.
Posted by: Northernlurker at September 23, 2016 01:32 PM (hJrjt)
307
New revelation: during its investigation, the FBI gave Cheryl Mills an immunity deal. You can't make this shit up.
Posted by: Ignoramus at September 23, 2016 01:32 PM (r1fLd)
308
One financial piece of advice I'll give my sons is never marry a woman who loves to spend money. She will ruin your life.
Mine is relatively frugal, thank God.
My girlfriend likes to shop, but she does so at Marshalls, Ross, etc. I'm ok with that.
Mine is relatively frugal, thank God.
My girlfriend likes to shop, but she does so at Marshalls, Ross, etc. I'm ok with that.
Posted by: SFGoth at September 23, 2016 01:32 PM (dZ756)
309
you've given the government a 6 month interest free loan. What a freaking scam.
Posted by: Lauren
--
I jack up my withholding allowances to the point I am within a few hundred of breakeven by the end of the year. Best you can do, and even then, you are upside down for most of the year.
Posted by: Lauren
--
I jack up my withholding allowances to the point I am within a few hundred of breakeven by the end of the year. Best you can do, and even then, you are upside down for most of the year.
Posted by: Vashta Nerada at September 23, 2016 01:33 PM (7ZVPa)
310
Happy to hear that a long winding, weird ass road like mine can still lead to a happy ending.
Posted by: Apostate at September 23, 2016 01:31 PM (8hqz+)
Haha - I'm not dead yet! But yeah, you're right.
Posted by: Apostate at September 23, 2016 01:31 PM (8hqz+)
Haha - I'm not dead yet! But yeah, you're right.
Posted by: DocJ at September 23, 2016 01:33 PM (NYS7S)
311
Shortly after my daughter was born I started working for an Oil & Gas major as a rig supervisor. In my relative youth, I thought it was the greatest thing ever. I worked a rotational schedule internationally, 4 weeks on & 4 off (which, when you subtract travel time is really a 5/3 schedule). It paid very well, challenged me, and sated my adventure/excitement jones. I did that for 8 years.
I used to rationalize the travel with the thought that I was making up for the separation by having all this free time to spend with the family. It wasn't until health issues forced me into an office job that I realized what I had missed.
There is so much that happens in those day to day interactions that can't be "made up". That time is gone and will never be yours again.
My son was born 2 years after I came into the office and further reinforced my regret over how much of my daughter's (and wife's) life I've missed.
I took a $40k pay cut in the job change, yes it hurts. Yes we live paycheck to paycheck now. But both children attend an exemplary private school, have all their needs (and most wants) met, and have their father there for them nearly every day.
My wife's friends used to marvel at our ability to handle the separation, and I swore that I would be a company man until I retired. I'm just thankful that the good Lord had a better plan.
I used to rationalize the travel with the thought that I was making up for the separation by having all this free time to spend with the family. It wasn't until health issues forced me into an office job that I realized what I had missed.
There is so much that happens in those day to day interactions that can't be "made up". That time is gone and will never be yours again.
My son was born 2 years after I came into the office and further reinforced my regret over how much of my daughter's (and wife's) life I've missed.
I took a $40k pay cut in the job change, yes it hurts. Yes we live paycheck to paycheck now. But both children attend an exemplary private school, have all their needs (and most wants) met, and have their father there for them nearly every day.
My wife's friends used to marvel at our ability to handle the separation, and I swore that I would be a company man until I retired. I'm just thankful that the good Lord had a better plan.
Posted by: Glen the Company Man at September 23, 2016 01:33 PM (Q0dwZ)
312
You peoples and your "white privilege" always whining about the taxes you pay.
You get off free on the backs of da poor Black peoples.
You get off free on the backs of da poor Black peoples.
Posted by: Rev Al at September 23, 2016 01:33 PM (NbJXF)
313
I drive a 1999 dodge caravan, still runs great but I know it's going to be time for a new car. If the transmission ever goes I can't justify fixing it instead of using the money for a down payment.
Posted by: Patrick from Ohio at September 23, 2016 01:33 PM (dKiJG)
314
After her description of her gaming/entertainment habits, I feel like alexthechick is some weird alter-universe female version of myself.
Posted by: jreffy at September 23, 2016 01:33 PM (wX0ke)
315
Want to become comfortable no matter what you make? Pay off your debts. Being debt-free is the most liberating thing one can do financially.
Posted by: Soona at September 23, 2016 01:34 PM (Fmupd)
316
New revelation: during its investigation, the FBI gave Cheryl Mills an immunity deal. You can't make this shit up.
Pretty soon we're going to find out they've given Hillary an immunity deal as well.
Pretty soon we're going to find out they've given Hillary an immunity deal as well.
Posted by: DocJ at September 23, 2016 01:34 PM (NYS7S)
317
Self-employed so I don't have to take anybody's bullshit, and we live way, way below our means. I don't overcomplicate it.
Posted by: jakeman at September 23, 2016 01:34 PM (yKkl0)
318
This is the written equivalent of a Stalin propaganda poster.
I anticipate a lot of those in the upcoming years.
This is the written equivalent of a Stalin propaganda poster.
I anticipate a lot of those in the upcoming years.
Posted by: Bertram Cabot Jr. at September 23, 2016 01:34 PM (IqV8l)
319
"You are picking the wrong age of used cars"
Nope, I'm responding to another poster.
As an aside, isn't it fun when Internet commenters who knows precisely nothong about you and your life tell you with absolute certainty what you're doing wrong.
"You are picking the wrong age of used cars"
Nope, I'm responding to another poster.
As an aside, isn't it fun when Internet commenters who knows precisely nothong about you and your life tell you with absolute certainty what you're doing wrong.
Posted by: Soliloquy at September 23, 2016 01:35 PM (rngc1)
320
Ridiculously good and that's just from the alpha. But it's not worth $120 to me. $50-60 to screw around in a year from now? Yup. But full price now? Nope. We'll see what happens with the beta but that's my impression.
Just bought HALO: ODST for $12.88 at Wal Mart.
Just bought HALO: ODST for $12.88 at Wal Mart.
Posted by: rickb223 at September 23, 2016 01:35 PM (2El4P)
321
THIS POST IS MY LIFE
Posted by: BacktoGA at September 23, 2016 01:35 PM (QUl0c)
322
My girlfriend likes to shop, but she does so at Marshalls, Ross, etc. I'm ok with that.
Posted by: SFGoth at September 23, 2016 01:32 PM (dZ756)
I admit that I wear Nordstrom shirts. I also admit that I shop at the Goodwill near the retirement community.
Posted by: SFGoth at September 23, 2016 01:32 PM (dZ756)
I admit that I wear Nordstrom shirts. I also admit that I shop at the Goodwill near the retirement community.
Posted by: Kindltot at September 23, 2016 01:35 PM (KOBAq)
323
You peoples and your "white privilege" always whining about the taxes you pay.
You get off free on the backs of da poor Black peoples.
Posted by: Rev Al at September 23, 2016 01:33 PM (NbJXF)
-------
Last time I looked motherfucker...... youre several million dollars ahead in taxes your black ass didnt pay.
You get off free on the backs of da poor Black peoples.
Posted by: Rev Al at September 23, 2016 01:33 PM (NbJXF)
-------
Last time I looked motherfucker...... youre several million dollars ahead in taxes your black ass didnt pay.
Posted by: fixerupper at September 23, 2016 01:36 PM (8XRCm)
324
I work at what used to be a white-collar job but we now work from home, so it's now a no-collar job. But I do wear pants. Usually.
It's a comfortable living in the import/export biz. Put up with a lot of shit but I have to deal with the gubmint so that goes without saying.
The guy I work for made mega-millions in the business and retired to Florida in his late 40s. After a few years he got bored and decided to get back in the business, and he started calling back his favorite former employees, like little old me to work for him at his new, smaller but prosperous venture.
I was wooed away from the cubicle farm I had been slaving in. Didn't take too much wooing. He was a great boss before and still is. And the working from home thing is a huge plus. Takes getting used to though. After more than a year I still kind of miss office culture.
I know I could probably be doing better as far as pay but I'm comfortable, I like my job, I like all of my co-workers, my bosses are cool and I get to work from home. All in all, I'm generally happy.
It's a comfortable living in the import/export biz. Put up with a lot of shit but I have to deal with the gubmint so that goes without saying.
The guy I work for made mega-millions in the business and retired to Florida in his late 40s. After a few years he got bored and decided to get back in the business, and he started calling back his favorite former employees, like little old me to work for him at his new, smaller but prosperous venture.
I was wooed away from the cubicle farm I had been slaving in. Didn't take too much wooing. He was a great boss before and still is. And the working from home thing is a huge plus. Takes getting used to though. After more than a year I still kind of miss office culture.
I know I could probably be doing better as far as pay but I'm comfortable, I like my job, I like all of my co-workers, my bosses are cool and I get to work from home. All in all, I'm generally happy.
Posted by: WhatWhatWhat? - I speak of the Pompatous of Love at September 23, 2016 01:36 PM (WlGX+)
325
Goal is to pay off house soon and save ~$65K in interest. In a low mortgage house, low taxes because land is undervalued. Drive old cars, no TV, no iPhones, only a computer, both work remotely. Still spend too much, but we're also saving. We're edging up onto 50 now, but we're happy, so we don't feel drained.
Posted by: Crowley at September 23, 2016 01:36 PM (qYSor)
326
But having been on both sides of the line, it's better to have money than not.
++++
Honestly! The thread topic comes across as a bunch of ingrates to me.
++++
Honestly! The thread topic comes across as a bunch of ingrates to me.
Posted by: Bigbys Olive Fingers at September 23, 2016 01:36 PM (3wzsT)
327
After her description of her gaming/entertainment habits, I feel like alexthechick is some weird alter-universe female version of myself.
Posted by: jreffy at September 23, 2016 01:33 PM (wX0ke)
-----
You're really short too???
Posted by: jreffy at September 23, 2016 01:33 PM (wX0ke)
-----
You're really short too???
Posted by: fixerupper at September 23, 2016 01:37 PM (8XRCm)
328
@Soona
I know this is the best advice, and I know it's true. This is where I'm trying to get my wife focused right now. The mortgage I'm not really worried about since the value of the house covers it (we bought when the market bottomed and just refinanced into a great mortgage), but our student loans and credit cards are a HUGE drag right now.
I'm still managing to put aside money in savings and an HSA, but we're talking less than $100/paycheck. I KNOW this will payoff in the long-run, but it's so hard to see sometimes.
I know this is the best advice, and I know it's true. This is where I'm trying to get my wife focused right now. The mortgage I'm not really worried about since the value of the house covers it (we bought when the market bottomed and just refinanced into a great mortgage), but our student loans and credit cards are a HUGE drag right now.
I'm still managing to put aside money in savings and an HSA, but we're talking less than $100/paycheck. I KNOW this will payoff in the long-run, but it's so hard to see sometimes.
Posted by: jreffy at September 23, 2016 01:37 PM (wX0ke)
329
Wow, you could be telling my story. 8 years ago I was on the precipice of going from 100k to 250 k job. 75% travel, etc. Instead, I took out my soul and examined it. I was miserable, overweight and on the verge of having no relationship with my wife or daughter. Instead, I moved to a smaller company, work less, travel for work less, have less cash than we did, and spend time with my wife and daughter. Sing in church and symphony and live a better life. I am about to turn 50, and so wonder if I gave up completely On my career. This post reinforces that I made a great choice. Thanks for sharing.
Posted by: RKinRoanoke at September 23, 2016 01:38 PM (d2pI8)
330
Here's the thing, Tammy. All I wanted out of life was having a wife and kids - a family - that lasted. That's gone now. There is no future.
Posted by: Insomniac - Irredeemably Deplorable at September 23, 2016 01:26 PM (0mRoj)
---------------------
Insomniac, you just made me cry. Do not say "there is no future." DO NOT SAY THAT.
Do you have kids that you love, and that love you? Yes, you do. Those kids are your family. That will last.
I know your wife was a horrible wife to you, but she's gone. GONE. Do not let her continue to make you miserable. I know you have to interact with her because of your kids, but be the good guy. Be polite. Grit your teeth and deal with her the best you can. Then let the bad memories go.
Only YOU can control how you feel. And yes, you can control it. You have to work at it, it's not easy, but it is in your power. No one else's. Yours.
You are very smart, very funny, and you have a lot of life left. Be the best dad you can be for your kids and never, ever give up.
Posted by: Insomniac - Irredeemably Deplorable at September 23, 2016 01:26 PM (0mRoj)
---------------------
Insomniac, you just made me cry. Do not say "there is no future." DO NOT SAY THAT.
Do you have kids that you love, and that love you? Yes, you do. Those kids are your family. That will last.
I know your wife was a horrible wife to you, but she's gone. GONE. Do not let her continue to make you miserable. I know you have to interact with her because of your kids, but be the good guy. Be polite. Grit your teeth and deal with her the best you can. Then let the bad memories go.
Only YOU can control how you feel. And yes, you can control it. You have to work at it, it's not easy, but it is in your power. No one else's. Yours.
You are very smart, very funny, and you have a lot of life left. Be the best dad you can be for your kids and never, ever give up.
Posted by: bluebell at September 23, 2016 01:38 PM (xpSCc)
331
I don't have a hell of a lot to contribute here (mid-twenties, college degree, no debt, single, and still living at home), but I have to say that starting adult life with a little bit of money in the bank is one of the best things you can do. I've been working a real job for three years, and I have enough for a down payment on a house. Student debt is a terrible thing and I'm so glad I was in a position to pay that off right quick. And that my dad thinks I'm good enough company to keep me around.
Posted by: right wing whippersnapper at September 23, 2016 01:38 PM (26lkV)
332
I've read, and believe, the most important financial decision anyone can make is in choice of spouse.
By God's grace my wife is a good 'un--more frugal than me honestly, and she's a workaholic, which does have some advantages.
If you've ever read Proverbs 31, she fits the definition of a noble wife. (And I can hear the SJW rage at that term from here.)
By God's grace my wife is a good 'un--more frugal than me honestly, and she's a workaholic, which does have some advantages.
If you've ever read Proverbs 31, she fits the definition of a noble wife. (And I can hear the SJW rage at that term from here.)
Posted by: Northernlurker at September 23, 2016 01:38 PM (hJrjt)
333
First off: Code Red deserves respect. It's hard doing something you dislike, but for the right reasons.
Are you happy with your choices? And if not, what is stopping you from taking a different path?
Yeah, guess so. Like some, I could actually make more money in another job, but I'm here for the flexibility, both in work and life. Great boss (upper management are fools, but by boss shields us from their worst decisions which is a sign of a good boss). Live in a high tax blue state and not seeing the services, so also have to pay for private school. I'm content to live frugally so like The Dude, I abide.
Are you happy with your choices? And if not, what is stopping you from taking a different path?
Yeah, guess so. Like some, I could actually make more money in another job, but I'm here for the flexibility, both in work and life. Great boss (upper management are fools, but by boss shields us from their worst decisions which is a sign of a good boss). Live in a high tax blue state and not seeing the services, so also have to pay for private school. I'm content to live frugally so like The Dude, I abide.
Posted by: syberpunk at September 23, 2016 01:38 PM (53DnI)
334
As an aside, isn't it fun when Internet commenters
who knows precisely nothong about you and your life tell you with
absolute certainty what you're doing wrong.
Posted by: Soliloquy at September 23, 2016 01:35 PM (rngc1)
Have you tried combing your hair to the other side?
who knows precisely nothong about you and your life tell you with
absolute certainty what you're doing wrong.
Posted by: Soliloquy at September 23, 2016 01:35 PM (rngc1)
Have you tried combing your hair to the other side?
Posted by: NSA "observer" at September 23, 2016 01:39 PM (KOBAq)
Posted by: jreffy at September 23, 2016 01:39 PM (wX0ke)
Posted by: Bertram Cabot Jr. at September 23, 2016 01:39 PM (IqV8l)
337
Here's the thing, Tammy. All I wanted out of life
was having a wife and kids - a family - that lasted. That's gone now.
There is no future.
Posted by: Insomniac - Irredeemably Deplorable at September 23, 2016 01:26 PM (0mRoj)
I say this with absolute sincerity: This one statement, I see the opportunity for change. It's as big as a skyscraper, and if you decided to start working on it, you could be happy.
If you decide not to work on it, you won't. It is, absolutely 100% within your control.
was having a wife and kids - a family - that lasted. That's gone now.
There is no future.
Posted by: Insomniac - Irredeemably Deplorable at September 23, 2016 01:26 PM (0mRoj)
I say this with absolute sincerity: This one statement, I see the opportunity for change. It's as big as a skyscraper, and if you decided to start working on it, you could be happy.
If you decide not to work on it, you won't. It is, absolutely 100% within your control.
Posted by: BurtTC at September 23, 2016 01:40 PM (TOk1P)
338
Ridiculously easy (and not very renumerative) job at a midwestern university library, living in a small house on 65 acres in the exurbs. I have exactly what I prioritize - my wife doesn't have to work and she has been home for our son. And btw I intend never to buy a new car.
Posted by: Surellin at September 23, 2016 01:40 PM (ZNGOG)
339
As a moron there's a whole world of ideas (or, in most cases, common sense) that simply can't be discussed at work or in broad social groups without causing damage. This is the subject that gets to me most. I can't stand it when people complain about how many hours they "have" to work. And the worst is when they tell me that I'm "lucky" that my wife makes so much money that I can stay home with our young children. I *am* lucky about the money part, but someone would be home no matter what.
Posted by: Darrel Harb at September 23, 2016 01:40 PM (T63I5)
340
After her description of her gaming/entertainment habits, I feel like alexthechick is some weird alter-universe female version of myself.
Posted by: jreffy at September 23, 2016 01:33 PM (wX0ke)
-----
You're really short too???
Posted by: fixerupper at September 23, 2016 01:37 PM (8XRCm)
Technically wouldn't that means he's really tall.
RE: Hillary getting immunity. That's what I think too and I'm not being funny. Would it surprise anyone?
Posted by: jreffy at September 23, 2016 01:33 PM (wX0ke)
-----
You're really short too???
Posted by: fixerupper at September 23, 2016 01:37 PM (8XRCm)
Technically wouldn't that means he's really tall.
RE: Hillary getting immunity. That's what I think too and I'm not being funny. Would it surprise anyone?
Posted by: alexthechick - unskewed at September 23, 2016 01:41 PM (mf5HN)
341
I've been working a real job for three years, and I have enough for a down payment on a house.
Great job !!!!
And if you out that down on a house, you need your ass kicked.
YOU need to stay liquid.
Great job !!!!
And if you out that down on a house, you need your ass kicked.
YOU need to stay liquid.
Posted by: ScoggDog at September 23, 2016 01:42 PM (0kPjF)
342
i think the problem with encouraging people to save money in a zero interest rate economy is nobody young can see the benefit in it. Folks aren't teaching kids to think long term, by their own actions, and so even if they preach prudence as they think good parents should, the kids dont SEE prudence or any benefit in it and so it goes in one ear and out the other.
my spouse is a shocking number of years younger than i am. It shows me what a lotr of us miss about the younger generations. even in the Marines, people who work hard, play by the rules and do everything as they should and not only as they are told are treated like SUCKERS and used like rented mules until they die or wear out. (this is the NCO corps, you mileage may vary)
Getting out there was no good options for a Vet with lots of com bat experience but not a lot of college. so he got a trade in welding. Out here we found out most of the entry level positions are I am not shitting you 13 bucks an hour and 6 day weeks and 12 hour days, with all spanish speaking crews who are SOOOO grateful to have the working conditions they got. Back to sucker, rented mule. Ok. Now we used nepotisim to get a job in an RD lab. this worked much better. Lead scientists were desperate for an ADULT to fill the position, and its a dream job for grim, making all kinds of stuff then destroying it, and taking notes on the process. But it pays the same as the welding job, is 5 days and 8 hours. No hard wear on the body. This is success. We will worry about raises later (i have been assure its coming but up to someone else)
Now i basically pay the bills and keep us going with my stuff that i do and run my little place and keep the cats and horses happy. I look at my sister and her husband with the prestigious job in the Bay area and the shitty rat infested rental they live in, saving up for their starter house in Alameda and i feel bad for them. they are on a treadmill, often borrow from dad despite the six figure pay, take fantastic vacations and he works 18 hour days and weekends more than sometimes. she has a job too. WTF.
i have the ultimate take your work home with you job. (running a horse farm however small is a 24/7 kind of deal) but i have a life i dont have to take vacations from. to me this is success. Yes i invest like a Mo Fo. Yeah i put up some investments very wisely 30 years ago which treat me well now. But if i was a kid in this economy, i would be lost. Its really hard to know what to do when all this new economic manipulation has made it not just hard to save, but impossible to get ahead unless you have a financial adviser who is astute and devoted to your family's cause.
my spouse is a shocking number of years younger than i am. It shows me what a lotr of us miss about the younger generations. even in the Marines, people who work hard, play by the rules and do everything as they should and not only as they are told are treated like SUCKERS and used like rented mules until they die or wear out. (this is the NCO corps, you mileage may vary)
Getting out there was no good options for a Vet with lots of com bat experience but not a lot of college. so he got a trade in welding. Out here we found out most of the entry level positions are I am not shitting you 13 bucks an hour and 6 day weeks and 12 hour days, with all spanish speaking crews who are SOOOO grateful to have the working conditions they got. Back to sucker, rented mule. Ok. Now we used nepotisim to get a job in an RD lab. this worked much better. Lead scientists were desperate for an ADULT to fill the position, and its a dream job for grim, making all kinds of stuff then destroying it, and taking notes on the process. But it pays the same as the welding job, is 5 days and 8 hours. No hard wear on the body. This is success. We will worry about raises later (i have been assure its coming but up to someone else)
Now i basically pay the bills and keep us going with my stuff that i do and run my little place and keep the cats and horses happy. I look at my sister and her husband with the prestigious job in the Bay area and the shitty rat infested rental they live in, saving up for their starter house in Alameda and i feel bad for them. they are on a treadmill, often borrow from dad despite the six figure pay, take fantastic vacations and he works 18 hour days and weekends more than sometimes. she has a job too. WTF.
i have the ultimate take your work home with you job. (running a horse farm however small is a 24/7 kind of deal) but i have a life i dont have to take vacations from. to me this is success. Yes i invest like a Mo Fo. Yeah i put up some investments very wisely 30 years ago which treat me well now. But if i was a kid in this economy, i would be lost. Its really hard to know what to do when all this new economic manipulation has made it not just hard to save, but impossible to get ahead unless you have a financial adviser who is astute and devoted to your family's cause.
Posted by: Gushka can haz kittys what plays fetch! at September 23, 2016 01:42 PM (YhV5r)
343
I will never forget when a girl I knew worked at a daycare and would talk about how these parents would just drop of thier very young kids (Babies) she vowed never to send her kids to daycare and so did I.
Posted by: Patrick from Ohio at September 23, 2016 01:42 PM (dKiJG)
344
Posted by: bluebell at September 23, 2016 01:38 PM (xpSCc)
Well said, and as he hopefully knows there are people on this board who care about him a lot. Insomniac, consider the advice of your nagging sister in spirit ;^) and get to know some morons who live in your area. They would enjoy your company (because you're bright and funny) and you would certainly have political views in common with them.
Well said, and as he hopefully knows there are people on this board who care about him a lot. Insomniac, consider the advice of your nagging sister in spirit ;^) and get to know some morons who live in your area. They would enjoy your company (because you're bright and funny) and you would certainly have political views in common with them.
Posted by: FenelonSpoke, redeemed and redeemable at September 23, 2016 01:43 PM (EnGQE)
345
I realized I was in a trap a while ago, and I resolved to get out.
Now have 11 payments to go and be free of all but mortgage debt.
I have a plan to purchase a building converted to a Bed and Breakfast setup and use it for another purpose. Think specialized group weekend rentals. No, no porn shoots on the property, ya bunch of pervs.
I'll work until that's paid off, and then the income from that should provide me with a living until I "retire" or croak.
Now have 11 payments to go and be free of all but mortgage debt.
I have a plan to purchase a building converted to a Bed and Breakfast setup and use it for another purpose. Think specialized group weekend rentals. No, no porn shoots on the property, ya bunch of pervs.
I'll work until that's paid off, and then the income from that should provide me with a living until I "retire" or croak.
Posted by: Blanco Basura at September 23, 2016 01:43 PM (4WhSY)
346
I said alter-universe, not parallel. I'm actually 6'4" and male.
Posted by: jreffy at September 23, 2016 01:39 PM (wX0ke)
*points wildly*
SEE SEE HOW I AM LESS WRONG THAN USUAL ABOUT THINGS!
Posted by: jreffy at September 23, 2016 01:39 PM (wX0ke)
*points wildly*
SEE SEE HOW I AM LESS WRONG THAN USUAL ABOUT THINGS!
Posted by: alexthechick - unskewed at September 23, 2016 01:44 PM (mf5HN)
347
Something to share, one of the key things in our marriage of 50 years revolves around money.
It has ALWAYS been OUR money--never yours and mine. Even today.
Also helps to have lived frugally on the way to winning our personal war on poverty. I find that is nearly an unbreakable habit now.
Something to share, one of the key things in our marriage of 50 years revolves around money.
It has ALWAYS been OUR money--never yours and mine. Even today.
Also helps to have lived frugally on the way to winning our personal war on poverty. I find that is nearly an unbreakable habit now.
Posted by: irongrampa at September 23, 2016 01:44 PM (X35Yt)
348
Posted by: jreffy at September 23, 2016 01:39 PM (wX0ke)
So if you ever have a debate with AtC she will have to have a specially made podium. ;^)
So if you ever have a debate with AtC she will have to have a specially made podium. ;^)
Posted by: FenelonSpoke, redeemed and redeemable at September 23, 2016 01:44 PM (EnGQE)
349
So Trump is drawing big crowds, and Clinton not so much, and her lackeys in the press are saying this is because she is deliberately going to smaller venues for more intimate meet-ups. And I can't find the clip from 'This is Spinal Tap' where they make that same excuse. Ace? Anyone?
Posted by: starboardhelm at September 23, 2016 01:45 PM (hOtJL)
350
326 But having been on both sides of the line, it's better to have money than not.
++++
Honestly! The thread topic comes across as a bunch of ingrates to me.
Posted by: Bigbys Olive Fingers at September 23, 2016 01:36 PM (3wzsT)
-------------
Like the old saying:
I've been rich and I've been poor.
Rich is better.
326 But having been on both sides of the line, it's better to have money than not.
++++
Honestly! The thread topic comes across as a bunch of ingrates to me.
Posted by: Bigbys Olive Fingers at September 23, 2016 01:36 PM (3wzsT)
-------------
Like the old saying:
I've been rich and I've been poor.
Rich is better.
Posted by: Soona at September 23, 2016 01:45 PM (Fmupd)
351
Posted by: jreffy at September 23, 2016 01:39 PM (wX0ke)
So if you ever have a debate with AtC she will have to have a specially made podium. ;^)
I'm only 35, but I've learned enough in my life that doing such a thing would be a terribly foolish decision.
So if you ever have a debate with AtC she will have to have a specially made podium. ;^)
I'm only 35, but I've learned enough in my life that doing such a thing would be a terribly foolish decision.
Posted by: jreffy at September 23, 2016 01:46 PM (wX0ke)
352
339 As a moron there's a whole world of ideas (or, in most cases, common sense) that simply can't be discussed at work or in broad social groups without causing damage. This is the subject that gets to me most. I can't stand it when people complain about how many hours they "have" to work. And the worst is when they tell me that I'm "lucky" that my wife makes so much money that I can stay home with our young children. I *am* lucky about the money part, but someone would be home no matter what.
Posted by: Darrel Harb at September 23, 2016 01:40 PM (T63I5)
Not so, sir. It *could* take BOTH of you working from can to can't to keep a roof over your head. Then, someone else would be caring for the kiddos. Someone who may or may not be as good to them as you are. I'll bet your kids love having you there instead of a babysitter or daycare.
Posted by: Darrel Harb at September 23, 2016 01:40 PM (T63I5)
Not so, sir. It *could* take BOTH of you working from can to can't to keep a roof over your head. Then, someone else would be caring for the kiddos. Someone who may or may not be as good to them as you are. I'll bet your kids love having you there instead of a babysitter or daycare.
Posted by: LA ette, lakeside lurker at September 23, 2016 01:46 PM (TIp9V)
353
This sounds like everyone I know. But in my experience, my own life included, is that the wife is the envious one pushing the husband out to earn more. I make enough that my wife doesn't work. I coach little league, am home almost most nights for dinner and do my share of chores. When we argue about why we cannot afford more, I hate to point out that all of the time I'm home will likely go away with a higher paying job. For some reason that doesn't compute with her; as if my time is a limitless commodity. It's like throwing gas on a fire in the argument. All of my male friends have relatively the same story.
Posted by: Eli Cash at September 23, 2016 01:46 PM (a+WIL)
354
because she is deliberately going to smaller venues for more intimate meet-ups.
LOL. Because nobody much wants to see her!
LOL. Because nobody much wants to see her!
Posted by: FenelonSpoke, redeemed and redeemable at September 23, 2016 01:46 PM (EnGQE)
355
Well said, and as he hopefully knows there are people on this board who care about him a lot. Insomniac, consider the advice of your nagging sister in spirit ;^) and get to know some morons who live in your area. They would enjoy your company (because you're bright and funny) and you would certainly have political views in common with them.
Posted by: FenelonSpoke, redeemed and redeemable at September 23, 2016 01:43 PM (EnGQE)
-----------
Thanks, Fenelon. I know willow usually does the wifey talk to Insomniac, lol, but she doesn't seem to be here so someone had to do the nagging (I mean talking!), lol.
Posted by: FenelonSpoke, redeemed and redeemable at September 23, 2016 01:43 PM (EnGQE)
-----------
Thanks, Fenelon. I know willow usually does the wifey talk to Insomniac, lol, but she doesn't seem to be here so someone had to do the nagging (I mean talking!), lol.
Posted by: bluebell at September 23, 2016 01:47 PM (xpSCc)
356
Posted by: bluebell at September 23, 2016 01:38 PM (xpSCc)
Thank you for your kind words of encouragement. You really are a great person.
Thank you for your kind words of encouragement. You really are a great person.
Posted by: Insomniac - Irredeemably Deplorable at September 23, 2016 01:47 PM (0mRoj)
357
nood
Posted by: Deplorable @votermom at September 23, 2016 01:47 PM (Om16U)
358
#303
A lot of it is a hangover from the days of mask ROMs, when the cost of the cartridge was the primary factor and development costs were quite low by today's standards. Back in the 80s, the company I worked for had a precise breakdown of the costs that went into a $50 Amiga game and how many had to be sold before it was in profits. The sales numbers were tiny compared to current platforms. I remember the debate over whether they could justify a third floppy in an Atari ST game. Making it fit on two floppies would mean some sacrifices but that third floppy would increase the number of units needed for breakeven by something like 9000. A drop in the bucket for a modern console release.
I'm not into online multi-player, so what is currently popular doesn't matter much to me. Thus I have no problem waiting for the GOTY edition that includes all of the DLC for a lower price than the original release by itself. In some cases, while waiting for that to turn up cheap (it is extremely rare I pay over $20 for a console game and usually less) that a remake on a newer platform turns up that has all of the same content with improved imagery and/or frame rate.
Staying behind the curve has its benefits.
A lot of it is a hangover from the days of mask ROMs, when the cost of the cartridge was the primary factor and development costs were quite low by today's standards. Back in the 80s, the company I worked for had a precise breakdown of the costs that went into a $50 Amiga game and how many had to be sold before it was in profits. The sales numbers were tiny compared to current platforms. I remember the debate over whether they could justify a third floppy in an Atari ST game. Making it fit on two floppies would mean some sacrifices but that third floppy would increase the number of units needed for breakeven by something like 9000. A drop in the bucket for a modern console release.
I'm not into online multi-player, so what is currently popular doesn't matter much to me. Thus I have no problem waiting for the GOTY edition that includes all of the DLC for a lower price than the original release by itself. In some cases, while waiting for that to turn up cheap (it is extremely rare I pay over $20 for a console game and usually less) that a remake on a newer platform turns up that has all of the same content with improved imagery and/or frame rate.
Staying behind the curve has its benefits.
Posted by: Epobirs at September 23, 2016 01:47 PM (IdCqF)
359
128 I am very lucky. Fell into my "dream job" a couple years ago, it's something I could do forever, never retire. Before this job, I did all sorts of things, but never really "clicked" onto a particular career path.
Posted by: Lincolntf at September 23, 2016 12:48 PM (2cS/G)
What is your dream job? just curious
Posted by: Lincolntf at September 23, 2016 12:48 PM (2cS/G)
What is your dream job? just curious
Posted by: sunny at September 23, 2016 01:48 PM (XBatu)
360
So Trump is drawing big crowds, and Clinton not so much, and her lackeys in the press are saying this is because she is deliberately going to smaller venues for more intimate meet-ups. And I can't find the clip from 'This is Spinal Tap' where they make that same excuse. Ace? Anyone?
Posted by: starboardhelm at September 23, 2016 01:45 PM (hOtJL)
-------------
Her appeal is becoming more selective.
Posted by: starboardhelm at September 23, 2016 01:45 PM (hOtJL)
-------------
Her appeal is becoming more selective.
Posted by: bluebell at September 23, 2016 01:48 PM (xpSCc)
361
353 - Let me guess - her also getting a job never comes into the equation, right?
Posted by: Gaff at September 23, 2016 01:48 PM (jPS2y)
362
I have a plan to purchase a building converted to a Bed and Breakfast setup and use it for another purpose. Think specialized group weekend rentals. No, no porn shoots on the property, ya bunch of pervs.
Damn. There went my guess.
Damn. There went my guess.
Posted by: rickb223 at September 23, 2016 01:49 PM (2El4P)
363
Thank you for your kind words of encouragement. You really are a great person.
Posted by: Insomniac - Irredeemably Deplorable at September 23, 2016 01:47 PM (0mRoj)
-----------
Ha, go ahead and say it. I'm a nag.
But a nice nag, I hope
Posted by: Insomniac - Irredeemably Deplorable at September 23, 2016 01:47 PM (0mRoj)
-----------
Ha, go ahead and say it. I'm a nag.
But a nice nag, I hope
Posted by: bluebell at September 23, 2016 01:49 PM (xpSCc)
364
You peoples and your "white privilege" always whining about the taxes you pay.
You get off free on the backs of da poor Black peoples.
Posted by: Rev Al
I don't get it. Imagine a middle class individual. Next, add to the picture a bunch of people with EBT cards and OCare. How is that individual exploiting them? Rather isn't the reverse the case?
You get off free on the backs of da poor Black peoples.
Posted by: Rev Al
I don't get it. Imagine a middle class individual. Next, add to the picture a bunch of people with EBT cards and OCare. How is that individual exploiting them? Rather isn't the reverse the case?
Posted by: Yuimetal at September 23, 2016 01:49 PM (iLoHX)
Posted by: Blanco Basura at September 23, 2016 01:50 PM (4WhSY)
366
Almost halfway through Season 2 of the Star Trek series. Taking a break to binge-watch "Gotham" on Netflix.
Posted by: Lincolntf at September 23, 2016 01:50 PM (2cS/G)
367
337 Here's the thing, Tammy. All I wanted out of life
was having a wife and kids - a family - that lasted. That's gone now.
There is no future.
Posted by: Insomniac - Irredeemably Deplorable at September 23, 2016 01:26 PM (0mRoj)
I say this with absolute sincerity: This one statement, I see the opportunity for change. It's as big as a skyscraper, and if you decided to start working on it, you could be happy.
If you decide not to work on it, you won't. It is, absolutely 100% within your control.
Posted by: BurtTC at September 23, 2016 01:40 PM (TOk1P)
-------------
This is true. So if you want to fall in love with that stripper, then fall in love with that stripper.
was having a wife and kids - a family - that lasted. That's gone now.
There is no future.
Posted by: Insomniac - Irredeemably Deplorable at September 23, 2016 01:26 PM (0mRoj)
I say this with absolute sincerity: This one statement, I see the opportunity for change. It's as big as a skyscraper, and if you decided to start working on it, you could be happy.
If you decide not to work on it, you won't. It is, absolutely 100% within your control.
Posted by: BurtTC at September 23, 2016 01:40 PM (TOk1P)
-------------
This is true. So if you want to fall in love with that stripper, then fall in love with that stripper.
Posted by: Soona at September 23, 2016 01:50 PM (Fmupd)
368
Ha, go ahead and say it. I'm a nag.
But a nice nag, I hope
Posted by: bluebell at September 23, 2016 01:49[/]
This has been going around my family on social media today.
http://tinyurl.com/z5y4as9
But a nice nag, I hope
Posted by: bluebell at September 23, 2016 01:49[/]
This has been going around my family on social media today.
http://tinyurl.com/z5y4as9
Posted by: jreffy at September 23, 2016 01:51 PM (wX0ke)
369
"312 You peoples and your "white privilege" always whining about the taxes you pay.
You get off free on the backs of da poor Black peoples.
Posted by: Rev Al at September 23, 2016 01:33 PM (NbJXF)"
Rhetorical question, since you are not really Al:
How much taxes do them po' folk pay?
You get off free on the backs of da poor Black peoples.
Posted by: Rev Al at September 23, 2016 01:33 PM (NbJXF)"
Rhetorical question, since you are not really Al:
How much taxes do them po' folk pay?
Posted by: West at September 23, 2016 01:51 PM (1Rgee)
370
Like the old saying:
I've been rich and I've been poor.
Rich is better.
A former cow orker of mine summed it up fairly well.
"Without bucks, life sucks!"
I've been rich and I've been poor.
Rich is better.
A former cow orker of mine summed it up fairly well.
"Without bucks, life sucks!"
Posted by: Blanco Basura at September 23, 2016 01:51 PM (4WhSY)
371
Think specialized group weekend rentals. No, no porn shoots on the property, ya bunch of pervs.
I could make a killing setting up a sex dungeon in the church; you'd be surprised how many people have inquired.
I could make a killing setting up a sex dungeon in the church; you'd be surprised how many people have inquired.
Posted by: V the K at September 23, 2016 01:53 PM (O7MnT)
372
This has been going around my family on social media today.
http://tinyurl.com/z5y4as9
Posted by: jreffy at September 23, 2016 01:51 PM (wX0ke)
-----------------
Woo hoo! My three girls have got it made!
http://tinyurl.com/z5y4as9
Posted by: jreffy at September 23, 2016 01:51 PM (wX0ke)
-----------------
Woo hoo! My three girls have got it made!
Posted by: bluebell at September 23, 2016 01:53 PM (xpSCc)
373
I could make a killing setting up a sex dungeon in the church; you'd be surprised how many people have inquired.
Posted by: V the K at September 23, 2016 01:53 PM (O7MnT)
------------------
What the heck kind of church do you go to, if you don't mind my asking?
Posted by: V the K at September 23, 2016 01:53 PM (O7MnT)
------------------
What the heck kind of church do you go to, if you don't mind my asking?
Posted by: bluebell at September 23, 2016 01:54 PM (xpSCc)
374
I could make a killing setting up a sex dungeon in the church; you'd be surprised how many people have inquired.
You'd just end spending most of it on cleaning supplies. Especially bleach.
You'd just end spending most of it on cleaning supplies. Especially bleach.
Posted by: Blanco Basura at September 23, 2016 01:55 PM (4WhSY)
375
Sunny, I do streaming sportscasts for HS, College and semi-pro teams, a dozen or so different sports, from Cricket to Rugby to Soccer to Basketball, it's a blast.
Posted by: Lincolntf at September 23, 2016 01:56 PM (2cS/G)
376
330 Here's the thing, Tammy. All I wanted out of life was having a wife and kids - a family - that lasted. That's gone now. There is no future.
Posted by: Insomniac - Irredeemably Deplorable at September 23, 2016 01:26 PM (0mRoj)
---------------------
Insomniac, you just made me cry. Do not say "there is no future." DO NOT SAY THAT.
Do you have kids that you love, and that love you? Yes, you do. Those kids are your family. That will last.
I know your wife was a horrible wife to you, but she's gone. GONE. Do not let her continue to make you miserable. I know you have to interact with her because of your kids, but be the good guy. Be polite. Grit your teeth and deal with her the best you can. Then let the bad memories go.
Only YOU can control how you feel. And yes, you can control it. You have to work at it, it's not easy, but it is in your power. No one else's. Yours.
You are very smart, very funny, and you have a lot of life left. Be the best dad you can be for your kids and never, ever give up.
Posted by: bluebell at September 23, 2016 01:38 PM (
I agree with Insomniac. But what people are missing is the fact that feminism and even holding females up on a special pedestal where there are no consequences and the courts and society constantly rule in the best interests of the female/mother.
The saddest part about all of this is that men are responsible for the existence of the hatred of men and feminism.
Men and fathers are ATM's, objects, tools and nothing more in America today. We are expendable. When the ex spouse seeks to destroy us then the first reaction and the prevailing thought is that well we deserve it. There is no help offered to people in my position (everywhere I go seeking help, it is always my fault for the criminal and psychotic behaviors of the ex and how she is treating the children)
This country would turn around quickly if Americans valued the lives of men and boys as much as they do women and girls. But I don't see this happening as most men side with the feminist interests as a sexual strategy and because they have been brainwashed since birth. (This is on point with the topic because men become slaves to serving the needs and wants of women and their children and if you don't, the legalsystem and society will toss you aside and allow the mom to find a substitute dad who will)
I would suggest everybody watch the Documentary The Red Pill when it premieres October 7th.
Bottom line this country has zero empathy and compassion and sympathy for men and downright hates them as a whole. Collectively speaking.
Posted by: Insomniac - Irredeemably Deplorable at September 23, 2016 01:26 PM (0mRoj)
---------------------
Insomniac, you just made me cry. Do not say "there is no future." DO NOT SAY THAT.
Do you have kids that you love, and that love you? Yes, you do. Those kids are your family. That will last.
I know your wife was a horrible wife to you, but she's gone. GONE. Do not let her continue to make you miserable. I know you have to interact with her because of your kids, but be the good guy. Be polite. Grit your teeth and deal with her the best you can. Then let the bad memories go.
Only YOU can control how you feel. And yes, you can control it. You have to work at it, it's not easy, but it is in your power. No one else's. Yours.
You are very smart, very funny, and you have a lot of life left. Be the best dad you can be for your kids and never, ever give up.
Posted by: bluebell at September 23, 2016 01:38 PM (
I agree with Insomniac. But what people are missing is the fact that feminism and even holding females up on a special pedestal where there are no consequences and the courts and society constantly rule in the best interests of the female/mother.
The saddest part about all of this is that men are responsible for the existence of the hatred of men and feminism.
Men and fathers are ATM's, objects, tools and nothing more in America today. We are expendable. When the ex spouse seeks to destroy us then the first reaction and the prevailing thought is that well we deserve it. There is no help offered to people in my position (everywhere I go seeking help, it is always my fault for the criminal and psychotic behaviors of the ex and how she is treating the children)
This country would turn around quickly if Americans valued the lives of men and boys as much as they do women and girls. But I don't see this happening as most men side with the feminist interests as a sexual strategy and because they have been brainwashed since birth. (This is on point with the topic because men become slaves to serving the needs and wants of women and their children and if you don't, the legalsystem and society will toss you aside and allow the mom to find a substitute dad who will)
I would suggest everybody watch the Documentary The Red Pill when it premieres October 7th.
Bottom line this country has zero empathy and compassion and sympathy for men and downright hates them as a whole. Collectively speaking.
Posted by: Pepe, The Irredeemable at September 23, 2016 01:57 PM (Y9g6h)
377
What the heck kind of church do you go to, if you don't mind my asking?
I *go to* an LDS Church. I *live in* a church that has passed from Presbyterians to Baptists and Methodists. Also has a confessional that the previous owners brought in that were are thinking of turning into a liquor cabinet.
I *go to* an LDS Church. I *live in* a church that has passed from Presbyterians to Baptists and Methodists. Also has a confessional that the previous owners brought in that were are thinking of turning into a liquor cabinet.
Posted by: V the K at September 23, 2016 01:57 PM (O7MnT)
378
Gaff - She had a great career but happily gave it up to be a stay at home mom. It was what we always planned for. For some reason I thought it'd be temporary until the kids are older (they are currently 6 and 2), but she seems to think it's more permanent.
Yeah, not the best thing to talk about right before bed.
Yeah, not the best thing to talk about right before bed.
Posted by: Eli Cash at September 23, 2016 01:58 PM (a+WIL)
379
I *go to* an LDS Church. I *live in* a church that has passed from Presbyterians to Baptists and Methodists. Also has a confessional that the previous owners brought in that were are thinking of turning into a liquor cabinet.
Posted by: V the K at September 23, 2016 01:57 PM (O7MnT)
------------------
Ah, I get it now. Phew. You had me worried there for a bit.
Posted by: V the K at September 23, 2016 01:57 PM (O7MnT)
------------------
Ah, I get it now. Phew. You had me worried there for a bit.
Posted by: bluebell at September 23, 2016 01:59 PM (xpSCc)
Posted by: Gran of the Deplorables at September 23, 2016 02:00 PM (XIXhw)
381
364
You peoples and your "white privilege" always whining about the taxes you pay.
You get off free on the backs of da poor Black peoples.
Posted by: Rev Al
I don't get it. Imagine a middle class individual. Next, add to the
picture a bunch of people with EBT cards and OCare. How is that
individual exploiting them? Rather isn't the reverse the case?
Posted by: Yuimetal at September 23, 2016 01:49 PM (iLoHX)
we exploit them by EXISTING.
something i have noticed with my new Neighbors the FSA squatters next door. they are Liberian African Dad and mainland chinese Mom and they have three kids, who were harrying my horses with slingshots until i put up a huge solid fence... My grass offends them. The kids singled out my horse with fly allergies who needed two fan on her stall for the worst torment. It was like the whole idea of treating things well and having the place be nice and animals well cared for was AWFUL and worse--antagonizing, to them.
its been a very strange experience, but the lights, fence and OBVIOUS security cameras keep them on their side of the fence. Very strange that a high end boarding and breeding facility could be a triggering object (trying think what else to describe it as) but it really set these lowlifes off. Its like to them we are the very image of whiteness and must be harassed, because we must be devils. Bebe has been here and seen it. and these people do not have so much as a rental agreement to be there and yet the owner and the city can do nothing until they start committing property crimes i can catch them in. which i dont want because this place is my biggest investment of all.
they dearly want to shit in my bed though, because its NICE here.
You peoples and your "white privilege" always whining about the taxes you pay.
You get off free on the backs of da poor Black peoples.
Posted by: Rev Al
I don't get it. Imagine a middle class individual. Next, add to the
picture a bunch of people with EBT cards and OCare. How is that
individual exploiting them? Rather isn't the reverse the case?
Posted by: Yuimetal at September 23, 2016 01:49 PM (iLoHX)
we exploit them by EXISTING.
something i have noticed with my new Neighbors the FSA squatters next door. they are Liberian African Dad and mainland chinese Mom and they have three kids, who were harrying my horses with slingshots until i put up a huge solid fence... My grass offends them. The kids singled out my horse with fly allergies who needed two fan on her stall for the worst torment. It was like the whole idea of treating things well and having the place be nice and animals well cared for was AWFUL and worse--antagonizing, to them.
its been a very strange experience, but the lights, fence and OBVIOUS security cameras keep them on their side of the fence. Very strange that a high end boarding and breeding facility could be a triggering object (trying think what else to describe it as) but it really set these lowlifes off. Its like to them we are the very image of whiteness and must be harassed, because we must be devils. Bebe has been here and seen it. and these people do not have so much as a rental agreement to be there and yet the owner and the city can do nothing until they start committing property crimes i can catch them in. which i dont want because this place is my biggest investment of all.
they dearly want to shit in my bed though, because its NICE here.
Posted by: Gushka can haz kittys what plays fetch! at September 23, 2016 02:00 PM (YhV5r)
382
I'm encouraged by all the homeschoolers and stay at home parents on the
thread. Keep it up, you guys! My mom stayed home with my brother and me,
then worked in the local school district when we got to kindergarten,
and it was the best thing she could have done. I can't imagine how
messed up I'd be if I'd gone to day care- the public school system was
bad enough. I'm watching a co-worker's child go through that right now
and it's a crime what the lack of routine is doing to this kid. It's
solidified my decision to at least attempt homeschooling my future kids.
thread. Keep it up, you guys! My mom stayed home with my brother and me,
then worked in the local school district when we got to kindergarten,
and it was the best thing she could have done. I can't imagine how
messed up I'd be if I'd gone to day care- the public school system was
bad enough. I'm watching a co-worker's child go through that right now
and it's a crime what the lack of routine is doing to this kid. It's
solidified my decision to at least attempt homeschooling my future kids.
Posted by: right wing whippersnapper at September 23, 2016 02:04 PM (26lkV)
383
All of your stories about not being in debt are scaring the living begeezus out of your bettors who depend on your debt slavery for their employment.
To paraphrase a great cartoon thespian, "You're deplorable!"
To paraphrase a great cartoon thespian, "You're deplorable!"
Posted by: Headless Body of Agnew at September 23, 2016 02:04 PM (FtrY1)
384
Pepe, I know you were dealt a rough and horribly unfair hand with regard to your ex-wife. I am truly sorry - no one should have to go through what you have done and continue to go through.
Pllease, don't make the mistake of thinking that everyone hates men. I don't, for starters, and I would have to think that most if not all of the people who comment here don't either. I am forever grateful to my husband and to all men in fact who work hard to take care of their families. Be encouraged that there are people raising their daughters to value and seek out good men, and their sons to be good men to the women in their life.
This does nothing to relieve your pain, I know, but please know that all women aren't like your ex-wife. I know you know that. Please don't shut your heart to the good people of the world. They are out there.
Pllease, don't make the mistake of thinking that everyone hates men. I don't, for starters, and I would have to think that most if not all of the people who comment here don't either. I am forever grateful to my husband and to all men in fact who work hard to take care of their families. Be encouraged that there are people raising their daughters to value and seek out good men, and their sons to be good men to the women in their life.
This does nothing to relieve your pain, I know, but please know that all women aren't like your ex-wife. I know you know that. Please don't shut your heart to the good people of the world. They are out there.
Posted by: bluebell at September 23, 2016 02:05 PM (xpSCc)
385
336
No phone ,no lights, no motor car,
Not a single luxury
Posted by: Bertram Cabot Jr. at September 23, 2016 01:39 PM (IqV8l)
You gots the intertube, whitey
No phone ,no lights, no motor car,
Not a single luxury
Posted by: Bertram Cabot Jr. at September 23, 2016 01:39 PM (IqV8l)
You gots the intertube, whitey
Posted by: Rev Al at September 23, 2016 02:06 PM (NbJXF)
386
Our lives are parallel but out of sync by a few years. I quit a traveling job making good money to have more time with the family, at a pay cut, especially for the kids while we had them at home. Move forward a few years, they have families of their own. But I jumped back into a traveling job, something I love. Better bucks. And work for myself. I figured that part out too. Life is good. Hang in there.
Posted by: Robert17 at September 23, 2016 02:08 PM (19WHj)
387
It's
solidified my decision to at least attempt homeschooling my future kids.
Posted by: right wing whippersnapper at September 23, 2016 02:04 PM (26lkV)
--------------
Do it, if you can. You won't regret it. I've been at it for twenty years and I wouldn't change a thing.
solidified my decision to at least attempt homeschooling my future kids.
Posted by: right wing whippersnapper at September 23, 2016 02:04 PM (26lkV)
--------------
Do it, if you can. You won't regret it. I've been at it for twenty years and I wouldn't change a thing.
Posted by: bluebell at September 23, 2016 02:08 PM (xpSCc)
388
I never understood the desire to spend as much as (or more than) you make.
Posted by: Ron in Austin at September 23, 2016 02:09 PM (CZqym)
389
Posted by: Eli Cash at September 23, 2016 01:46 PM (a+WIL)
I have the opposite problem. My husband works all the time but we are very comfortable. He won't stop working now because we don't know how long we will live. I'm going to be 50. How much is enough? I don't know..
I don't want to be like my mother deciding between fixing your kitchen sink or tires because you can't afford both.
My MIL & her husband sold his ranch and retired in their late 40's. They made some bad investments and aren't as comfortable as they were. I don't want to be like that.
I have the opposite problem. My husband works all the time but we are very comfortable. He won't stop working now because we don't know how long we will live. I'm going to be 50. How much is enough? I don't know..
I don't want to be like my mother deciding between fixing your kitchen sink or tires because you can't afford both.
My MIL & her husband sold his ranch and retired in their late 40's. They made some bad investments and aren't as comfortable as they were. I don't want to be like that.
Posted by: CaliGirl at September 23, 2016 02:09 PM (Q5Ymk)
390
388 I never understood the desire to spend as much as (or more than) you make.
Posted by: Ron in Austin at September 23, 2016 02:09 PM (CZqym)
Depression.
Posted by: Ron in Austin at September 23, 2016 02:09 PM (CZqym)
Depression.
Posted by: Gran of the Deplorables at September 23, 2016 02:09 PM (XIXhw)
391
osted by: Insomniac - Irredeemably Deplorable at September 23, 2016 01:26 PM (0mRoj)
New life, new goals.
PLEASE do not let her destroy you like this.
Wish her well and move on.
You are too awesome a person to let anyone drag you down.
New life, new goals.
PLEASE do not let her destroy you like this.
Wish her well and move on.
You are too awesome a person to let anyone drag you down.
Posted by: Tammy al-Thor at September 23, 2016 02:09 PM (GcpvU)
392
Posted by: bluebell at September 23, 2016 02:05 PM (xpSCc)
Pepe, what she said.
Pepe, what she said.
Posted by: CaliGirl at September 23, 2016 02:11 PM (Q5Ymk)
393
Thanks, bluebell. I'm not a very motherly sort- too introverted- but I went through the public school system and it nearly turned me into a zombie, so I can't fathom knowingly doing that to my own children. And I was one of the smart ones; I can't imagine how bad it must be for average kids.
Posted by: right wing whippersnapper at September 23, 2016 02:12 PM (26lkV)
394
My wife and I bought less house than the real estate agents wanted to sell us, thank God. When she came down with an autoimmune disease and lost her career I could cover all the bills without her help. Thank God again we'd been working at getting out of debt using Dave Ramsey's strategies. If we'd still been carrying all that debt when she got sick it would've meant bankruptcy and probably divorce. As we are, all the bills are paid and she has the time she needs to recover her health. Lesson learned: spending choices make a bigger difference than income earned. Live in a smaller house, drive older cars and you can spend more time on what matters. If you choose to pursue the paycheck at the expense of your family, well... that reveals what really matters to you.
Posted by: Scott at September 23, 2016 02:13 PM (r5Xxu)
395
But the 20-year old ones are liberating. No debt. No effing debt. And you insurance is cheaper, too, because you need not buy collision coverage.
Auto loan debt is just another component of the money trap.
Posted by: Alberta Oil Peon at September 23, 2016 01:04 PM (Bvr/A)
But older used cars are in a very real sense, a luxury good. Before you guffaw, hear me out: You have to have the money in the bank to repair, or get repaired, your vehicle. You have to have the work flexibility, , extra vehicle, or money-independence to deal with the time it takes to repair. That's simply not a set of available options for a lot of people if they need reliable transporation.
I was the same way about older cars, but back then I had the flexibility to be able to deal with problems. Then I was in a situation that required driving 650 miles *per week*. I was driving a 13-year old '98 Audi A4 (car lust purchase mistake), and it was killing me in repair bills ($500 ignition switch, $800 wheel bearings) on a car I didn't have the time or special tools to repair. I was looking at upcoming clutch and timing belt replacements ($3000 together), plus unknown future repairs. I started looking at newer cars - better than 25 MPG (when gas was $4.50/gal) and 1-2 years old to save money (no depreciation hit).
The 1-2 year old cars were priced at new car prices, with higher used car loan rates. So looked at new.
I bought a 2012 Chevy Cruze Eco. It's 1st year payments equaled about what it would cost to keep the old car repaired, but it was predictable. Moving from premium to regular gas and getting 20 more MPG halved my fuel costs ($140 to $70 per week) and *that alone* nearly covered the monthly note. Plus reliable and under warranty so I could get home every weekend and not worry about (extremely unexpected) repair bills. And insurance was less too, because not sporty luxury car.
TL;DR: I came out ahead by dropping the paid-for car and buying new with a loan. YMMV.
But the 20-year old ones are liberating. No debt. No effing debt. And you insurance is cheaper, too, because you need not buy collision coverage.
Auto loan debt is just another component of the money trap.
Posted by: Alberta Oil Peon at September 23, 2016 01:04 PM (Bvr/A)
But older used cars are in a very real sense, a luxury good. Before you guffaw, hear me out: You have to have the money in the bank to repair, or get repaired, your vehicle. You have to have the work flexibility, , extra vehicle, or money-independence to deal with the time it takes to repair. That's simply not a set of available options for a lot of people if they need reliable transporation.
I was the same way about older cars, but back then I had the flexibility to be able to deal with problems. Then I was in a situation that required driving 650 miles *per week*. I was driving a 13-year old '98 Audi A4 (car lust purchase mistake), and it was killing me in repair bills ($500 ignition switch, $800 wheel bearings) on a car I didn't have the time or special tools to repair. I was looking at upcoming clutch and timing belt replacements ($3000 together), plus unknown future repairs. I started looking at newer cars - better than 25 MPG (when gas was $4.50/gal) and 1-2 years old to save money (no depreciation hit).
The 1-2 year old cars were priced at new car prices, with higher used car loan rates. So looked at new.
I bought a 2012 Chevy Cruze Eco. It's 1st year payments equaled about what it would cost to keep the old car repaired, but it was predictable. Moving from premium to regular gas and getting 20 more MPG halved my fuel costs ($140 to $70 per week) and *that alone* nearly covered the monthly note. Plus reliable and under warranty so I could get home every weekend and not worry about (extremely unexpected) repair bills. And insurance was less too, because not sporty luxury car.
TL;DR: I came out ahead by dropping the paid-for car and buying new with a loan. YMMV.
Posted by: Jeff Weimer at September 23, 2016 02:14 PM (0Y6mc)
396
384 Pepe, I know you were dealt a rough and horribly unfair hand with regard to your ex-wife. I am truly sorry - no one should have to go through what you have done and continue to go through.
Pllease, don't make the mistake of thinking that everyone hates men. I don't, for starters, and I would have to think that most if not all of the people who comment here don't either. I am forever grateful to my husband and to all men in fact who work hard to take care of their families. Be encouraged that there are people raising their daughters to value and seek out good men, and their sons to be good men to the women in their life.
This does nothing to relieve your pain, I know, but please know that all women aren't like your ex-wife. I know you know that. Please don't shut your heart to the good people of the world. They are out there.
Posted by: bluebell at September 23, 2016 02:05 PM (xpSCc)
The ettes here don't and your husbands are blessed. Y'all are in a tiny minority especially in the age 45 and below.
But as a country collectively but men and women hate men and boys. It is not even being hidden any longer. it is open season.
If men in this country grew some balls and began to stand up for men and boys to be treated as human beings and equally under the law then we would not have many of the problems that we face today in this country.
Instead men always fall back to what they were taught since birth and that is women are special than you and are to be placed on a pedestal and served. That is the man's sole function serving the best interests of women and the government.
If you refuse or because of health can't, you are cast out.
I blame men for this more than women.
Pllease, don't make the mistake of thinking that everyone hates men. I don't, for starters, and I would have to think that most if not all of the people who comment here don't either. I am forever grateful to my husband and to all men in fact who work hard to take care of their families. Be encouraged that there are people raising their daughters to value and seek out good men, and their sons to be good men to the women in their life.
This does nothing to relieve your pain, I know, but please know that all women aren't like your ex-wife. I know you know that. Please don't shut your heart to the good people of the world. They are out there.
Posted by: bluebell at September 23, 2016 02:05 PM (xpSCc)
The ettes here don't and your husbands are blessed. Y'all are in a tiny minority especially in the age 45 and below.
But as a country collectively but men and women hate men and boys. It is not even being hidden any longer. it is open season.
If men in this country grew some balls and began to stand up for men and boys to be treated as human beings and equally under the law then we would not have many of the problems that we face today in this country.
Instead men always fall back to what they were taught since birth and that is women are special than you and are to be placed on a pedestal and served. That is the man's sole function serving the best interests of women and the government.
If you refuse or because of health can't, you are cast out.
I blame men for this more than women.
Posted by: Pepe, The Irredeemable at September 23, 2016 02:15 PM (Y9g6h)
397
Life if hard, then you die. Deal with it.
Posted by: Stay Golden Ponyboy at September 23, 2016 02:16 PM (+KwFo)
398
If men in this country grew some balls and began to stand up for men and boys to be treated as human beings and equally under the law then we would not have many of the problems that we face today in this country.
------------
I agree, Pepe, and that's why we've got to get these liberals out of power and get real leaders back in. I am comforted by my thoughts that the liberals aren't bothering having children while the conservatives are (like my own five!) and someday, we will prevail again.
In an unrelated matter, do you think that I am under 45? Because if you do, you sweet thing you, I think I've found my new best friend.
------------
I agree, Pepe, and that's why we've got to get these liberals out of power and get real leaders back in. I am comforted by my thoughts that the liberals aren't bothering having children while the conservatives are (like my own five!) and someday, we will prevail again.
In an unrelated matter, do you think that I am under 45? Because if you do, you sweet thing you, I think I've found my new best friend.
Posted by: bluebell at September 23, 2016 02:21 PM (xpSCc)
399
This is a great thread. I'm sitting in my cube thinking about my job dissatisfaction but realizing that it's Friday. I'll get up tomorrow, go fishing, realize life's good and keep going.
Posted by: Drewbicle at September 23, 2016 02:22 PM (Jdl4q)
400
If you are 'phoning it in for a paycheck' you are stealing from your company. They have EVERY right to expect you to give a full effort for your pay.
Are Honor and Duty non-English words for you?
If you have ended up in a situation where Honor and Duty are ignored and you just milk 'the enemy' to get by you need to either find a new job, or go away.
I grieve for what you could have been and despise what you have become. it's not too late.
Walk away. Walk away and hang the mirrors back up n your house.
It's never too late...
If you are 'phoning it in for a paycheck' you are stealing from your company. They have EVERY right to expect you to give a full effort for your pay.
Are Honor and Duty non-English words for you?
If you have ended up in a situation where Honor and Duty are ignored and you just milk 'the enemy' to get by you need to either find a new job, or go away.
I grieve for what you could have been and despise what you have become. it's not too late.
Walk away. Walk away and hang the mirrors back up n your house.
It's never too late...
Posted by: In Vino Veritits at September 23, 2016 02:22 PM (WVCC6)
401
work is so 1990's
Posted by: Henry Hotlove at September 23, 2016 02:24 PM (u32s7)
Posted by: Gran of the Deplorables at September 23, 2016 02:24 PM (XIXhw)
Posted by: Duncanthrax at September 23, 2016 02:25 PM (MWX7h)
404
In an unrelated matter, do you think that I am under 45? Because if you
do, you sweet thing you, I think I've found my new best friend.
It's in the style guide. All 'ettes are assumed to be 29 or younger and drop dead gorgeous until proven otherwise.
do, you sweet thing you, I think I've found my new best friend.
It's in the style guide. All 'ettes are assumed to be 29 or younger and drop dead gorgeous until proven otherwise.
Posted by: Blanco Basura at September 23, 2016 02:27 PM (4WhSY)
Posted by: bluebell at September 23, 2016 02:27 PM (xpSCc)
Posted by: bluebell at September 23, 2016 02:28 PM (xpSCc)
407
Survey says 'personal honor.'
Or not. Most people have never heard of it...
Shame, that.
Oh well, asteroid 2009ES will make everyone feel better, no Thorazine needed!
Survey says 'personal honor.'
Or not. Most people have never heard of it...
Shame, that.
Oh well, asteroid 2009ES will make everyone feel better, no Thorazine needed!
Posted by: In Vino Veritits at September 23, 2016 02:29 PM (WVCC6)
Posted by: Duncanthrax at September 23, 2016 02:30 PM (MWX7h)
409
As is he. :-)
Posted by: Duncanthrax at September 23, 2016 02:30 PM (MWX7h)
-------------
Aw. Thank you. Now I have TWO new best friends on this thread! My life is AWESOME!
Posted by: Duncanthrax at September 23, 2016 02:30 PM (MWX7h)
-------------
Aw. Thank you. Now I have TWO new best friends on this thread! My life is AWESOME!
Posted by: bluebell at September 23, 2016 02:31 PM (xpSCc)
410
I've been poor and I've been comfortable. Comfortable is better. Money won't make your life perfect, it can't cure illness but it makes life easier.
Also being able to buy anything you want doesn't equal happiness.
Also being able to buy anything you want doesn't equal happiness.
Posted by: CaliGirl at September 23, 2016 02:34 PM (Q5Ymk)
411
353: Tell her to get a gd job and see how the bonfire erupts.
Posted by: ejo at September 23, 2016 02:35 PM (il4FI)
412
Survey says 'personal honor.'
Or not. Most people have never heard of it...
Shame, that.
Or maybe he's working to live?
Ever consider that, Mr. High Horse?
Or not. Most people have never heard of it...
Shame, that.
Or maybe he's working to live?
Ever consider that, Mr. High Horse?
Posted by: Gran of the Deplorables at September 23, 2016 02:40 PM (XIXhw)
413
You know what eventually happens when those kids get a bit older? They stay mad that you're not pulling down even more money. They benefit from more dedicated parents and then don't appreciate that, but instead are bitter that you don't have even more to throw at them. After that stupid phase, they grow up and realize what you sacrificed for them or not.
Posted by: deplorable dagny at September 23, 2016 02:43 PM (09Ay7)
414
I spent all my free time with my family (wife and young son). Worked after midnight often so as never to miss the opportunity to be with him.
We paid the mortgage off early and have always been comfortable financially but have never bought into the whole huge house, mom with Lexus SUV/dad with new Bimmer thing. Time is the most precious commodity, far more valuable than perks, to me at least.
When he was about 4, my son gave me, apropos of nothing, a color drawing "To Dad" of two figures on a beach looking at the sun and holding hands. One is labeled, "Me". The other is labeled "You". It's signed, "Love, *insert son's name*"
It's framed where I see it everyday, and I would not trade it for anything, including an eight figure net worth.
We paid the mortgage off early and have always been comfortable financially but have never bought into the whole huge house, mom with Lexus SUV/dad with new Bimmer thing. Time is the most precious commodity, far more valuable than perks, to me at least.
When he was about 4, my son gave me, apropos of nothing, a color drawing "To Dad" of two figures on a beach looking at the sun and holding hands. One is labeled, "Me". The other is labeled "You". It's signed, "Love, *insert son's name*"
It's framed where I see it everyday, and I would not trade it for anything, including an eight figure net worth.
Posted by: RM at September 23, 2016 02:43 PM (U3LtS)
415
I adore men. I particularly adore Nigel Farage. I called my husband to ask why he couldn't say such wonderful things and in a british accent. He promised to practice. It'll save him some time.
Posted by: deplorable dagny at September 23, 2016 02:48 PM (09Ay7)
416
My husband and I are almost the exact same age (within 3 weeks). Really, it's never made sense to me that the proper pairing isn't a woman 10 years older than the guy.
Posted by: deplorable dagny at September 23, 2016 02:50 PM (09Ay7)
417
We moved a couple of years ago and found a less expensive, less demanding place to live. We do alright, salary-wise.
The one thing that cannot change immediately about our lives is my grad school debt. I'm hoping it gets paid off by the time the children start going to college, because the monthly note on that might just start to cover their college.
The one thing that cannot change immediately about our lives is my grad school debt. I'm hoping it gets paid off by the time the children start going to college, because the monthly note on that might just start to cover their college.
Posted by: El Skippito Friskito at September 23, 2016 02:51 PM (q/kmn)
418
I don't know where we got this idea that work had to be something more than, well,...work. Duh, that's why they call it "work."
Having said that, you don't want to be miserable 10 hours a day six days a week. Get a job that at least you don't mind doing.
But I don't practice what I preach. After getting laid off twice in 4 years and no prospects of stability in my industry, I changed the rules and got a job that I absolutely love.
I took a big pay cut, but I'm relatively layoff-proof for the next two years and advancement is a sure thing. So at this stage of my life, I'm pretty happy.
Having said that, you don't want to be miserable 10 hours a day six days a week. Get a job that at least you don't mind doing.
But I don't practice what I preach. After getting laid off twice in 4 years and no prospects of stability in my industry, I changed the rules and got a job that I absolutely love.
I took a big pay cut, but I'm relatively layoff-proof for the next two years and advancement is a sure thing. So at this stage of my life, I'm pretty happy.
Posted by: Hurricane LaFawnduh at September 23, 2016 02:52 PM (laMCB)
Posted by: bluebell at September 23, 2016 02:53 PM (xpSCc)
420
Your career has phases. You started with education, then establishing yourself. Now you are in maintenance while your attention is elsewhere.
Eventually, you will have more time for work, and you can embark on a new phase. When the kids grow up, don't stay stuck in a rut. Take that opportunity to strike out and advance.
You should be planning your breakout now. You have about ten more years until it will be time for you to make your move. Pay attention and get your ducks in a row. Don't get frustrated, because this phase will be over before you know it.
Since we will all be working until we are 75, the fourth phase (55-75) will become more and more important. Make your job something you like to do, because you will be doing it for a long while.
Eventually, you will have more time for work, and you can embark on a new phase. When the kids grow up, don't stay stuck in a rut. Take that opportunity to strike out and advance.
You should be planning your breakout now. You have about ten more years until it will be time for you to make your move. Pay attention and get your ducks in a row. Don't get frustrated, because this phase will be over before you know it.
Since we will all be working until we are 75, the fourth phase (55-75) will become more and more important. Make your job something you like to do, because you will be doing it for a long while.
Posted by: Gridlock at September 23, 2016 02:53 PM (hmj8n)
421
'Or maybe he's working to live?
Ever consider that, Mr. High Horse?'
That's not what he said. He said he's dialing it in for the paycheck... which is not surviving it's parasitism.
If he's cool with that, good for him. Drive on! If you're cool with it, good for you. Drive on!
I'll pass.
I've been homeless and eaten out of dumpsters; washed dishes for a plate of left overs; sewed carpet scraps into blankets; done jobs I hated to the best of may ability to survive. Made a lot of mistakes. A LOT.
But also learned to give my best for others and myself, and to try and do right and earn my pay. I've walked away from jobs where I couldn't give my best because I despised the boss' and the company. And still fed my family becuse I am willing to work to the BEST of my ability.
Pardon me now, my horses Honor and Duty need their stalls mucked out...
Ever consider that, Mr. High Horse?'
That's not what he said. He said he's dialing it in for the paycheck... which is not surviving it's parasitism.
If he's cool with that, good for him. Drive on! If you're cool with it, good for you. Drive on!
I'll pass.
I've been homeless and eaten out of dumpsters; washed dishes for a plate of left overs; sewed carpet scraps into blankets; done jobs I hated to the best of may ability to survive. Made a lot of mistakes. A LOT.
But also learned to give my best for others and myself, and to try and do right and earn my pay. I've walked away from jobs where I couldn't give my best because I despised the boss' and the company. And still fed my family becuse I am willing to work to the BEST of my ability.
Pardon me now, my horses Honor and Duty need their stalls mucked out...
Posted by: In Vino Veritits at September 23, 2016 02:55 PM (WVCC6)
422
Posted by: In Vino Veritits at September 23, 2016 02:55 PM (WVCC6)
Sanctimonious bullshit.
If he's doing the job (phoning it in or not), he's earning the paycheck. He doesn't have to like it and he doesn't have to smile doing it.
Nice chatting with you.
Sanctimonious bullshit.
If he's doing the job (phoning it in or not), he's earning the paycheck. He doesn't have to like it and he doesn't have to smile doing it.
Nice chatting with you.
Posted by: Gran of the Deplorables at September 23, 2016 03:00 PM (XIXhw)
423
When we first had our four children I purposefully took a job that was professionally interesting but also with very high stress because it allowed me to stay home with minimal travel. I was able to be a coach and friend to my kids and it was wonderful but exhausting.
As they grew older I was able to take on jobs that allowed for travel which I find enjoyable and that provided New challenges in disciplines I hadn't encountered previously.
I didn't plan it that way but I essentially had my career backwards in terms of the normal progression and I'm blessed that it worked that way. And I have to say I'm thankful to have a job I enjoy and pays the bills.
As they grew older I was able to take on jobs that allowed for travel which I find enjoyable and that provided New challenges in disciplines I hadn't encountered previously.
I didn't plan it that way but I essentially had my career backwards in terms of the normal progression and I'm blessed that it worked that way. And I have to say I'm thankful to have a job I enjoy and pays the bills.
Posted by: Tim at September 23, 2016 03:00 PM (u6I6l)
424
When I first retired from the Navy I worked every hour I could. After my wife got sick with cancer I realized that work is what you do to finance a living, and living is what you do when you aren't working.
After she died it didn't matter, I spent as much time at work as I used to. And then I met Mrs Hades. Now, when quitting time rolls around I roll out the door and the work place ceases to exist until the beginning of the work day.
I'm a lot happier these days. Of course part...most...of that is because of Mrs Hades, but she's the reason I don't spend a lot of time at work any more.
After she died it didn't matter, I spent as much time at work as I used to. And then I met Mrs Hades. Now, when quitting time rolls around I roll out the door and the work place ceases to exist until the beginning of the work day.
I'm a lot happier these days. Of course part...most...of that is because of Mrs Hades, but she's the reason I don't spend a lot of time at work any more.
Posted by: Deplorable GGE at September 23, 2016 03:09 PM (vbvxt)
425
Blanco, I didn't say I wasn't 29. I was, once.
Posted by: bluebell
I notice you're not denying the "drop dead gorgeous" part.
Posted by: bluebell
I notice you're not denying the "drop dead gorgeous" part.
Posted by: Blanco Basura at September 23, 2016 03:16 PM (4WhSY)
426
I notice you're not denying the "drop dead gorgeous" part.
Posted by: Blanco Basura at September 23, 2016 03:16 PM (4WhSY)
---------
Damn straight. I may not be 29 anymore but I'm not as dumb as I look, either.
Posted by: Blanco Basura at September 23, 2016 03:16 PM (4WhSY)
---------
Damn straight. I may not be 29 anymore but I'm not as dumb as I look, either.
Posted by: bluebell at September 23, 2016 03:18 PM (xpSCc)
427
Damn straight. I may not be 29 anymore but I'm not as dumb as I look, either.
Hope your hubby realizes how lucky he is.
BTW, my last comment on this thread. I don't want to still be commenting here when it becomes and "old" thread and everybody posting gets auto-banned.
Hope your hubby realizes how lucky he is.
BTW, my last comment on this thread. I don't want to still be commenting here when it becomes and "old" thread and everybody posting gets auto-banned.
Posted by: Blanco Basura at September 23, 2016 03:21 PM (4WhSY)
428
"I hate my job." I think the idea that you should find something you love to do is somewhat detrimental to society. I do work that esteemed presidents have labeled "jobs Americans won't do". They got away with calling them that because they are physically hard and dangerous. I don't do the work because I like it. I do it because it serves my family. Accepting that makes me happy and I think may help others. A job is just a means to an end. Get paid. Go home. Love your family.
Posted by: Typo dynamofo at September 23, 2016 03:42 PM (394Te)
429
Wow, Warden, you hit some raw nerves here. Good Job!
Best thread I've seen here in awhile, and I read the WHOLE thing...
Best thread I've seen here in awhile, and I read the WHOLE thing...
Posted by: Last at September 23, 2016 04:02 PM (8HiDF)
430
There is no "one size fits all" for this sort of thing. It depends wholly upon the couple involved. I work overseas and live in construction camps. "Family status" isn't even an option for most of this. I've been separated from my family for months at a time. Some contracts have been family status, and I've dragged my family to some $hitholes in my day.
They love it. It works for us. Meanwhile, most of my co-workers have been divorced - lots of 'em more than once. It is a tough life to be separated and alone, and most folks cannot do it, or cannot do it well.
As I said, though, it works for us. Each couple has to do their own thinking on this.
They love it. It works for us. Meanwhile, most of my co-workers have been divorced - lots of 'em more than once. It is a tough life to be separated and alone, and most folks cannot do it, or cannot do it well.
As I said, though, it works for us. Each couple has to do their own thinking on this.
Posted by: LCMS Rulz! at September 23, 2016 04:02 PM (o7l6R)
431
In Vino,
I couldn't disagree more strenuously that anyone owes their employer "full effort". Full effort is often a good choice for one's own morale and advancement, but it's your employers job to evaluate your output, and fire you if they don't like what they're paying for it.
As a former schoolteacher I didn't grade on effort, and I'm sure not paying for effort as an employer.
I couldn't disagree more strenuously that anyone owes their employer "full effort". Full effort is often a good choice for one's own morale and advancement, but it's your employers job to evaluate your output, and fire you if they don't like what they're paying for it.
As a former schoolteacher I didn't grade on effort, and I'm sure not paying for effort as an employer.
Posted by: Darrel Harb at September 23, 2016 04:04 PM (T63I5)
432
"I am bored, resentful, and simply phoning it in for a paycheck."
You don't spit in the customers' sandwiches, do you?
You don't spit in the customers' sandwiches, do you?
Posted by: furious at September 23, 2016 04:08 PM (wFwCH)
433
Posted by: LA ette, lakeside lurker at September 23, 2016 01:46 PM (TIp9V):
Not so, sir. It *could* take BOTH of you working from can to can't to keep a roof over your head.
Well, any circumstances can be imagined, but if your argument amounts to "there-but-for-the-grace-of-God-go-my-babies-in-to-full-time-day-care", then no. I'm curious what you think the minimum household income is for a SAHP to become an option.
Posted by: LA ette, lakeside lurker at September 23, 2016 01:46 PM (TIp9V):
Not so, sir. It *could* take BOTH of you working from can to can't to keep a roof over your head.
Well, any circumstances can be imagined, but if your argument amounts to "there-but-for-the-grace-of-God-go-my-babies-in-to-full-time-day-care", then no. I'm curious what you think the minimum household income is for a SAHP to become an option.
Posted by: Darrel Harb at September 23, 2016 04:14 PM (T63I5)
434
@darrel harb
Right on. Employers measure and manage effort, pay for performance. I've let go plenty of people that worked hard, put in solid effort, exemplary even, but didn't produce results.
Right on. Employers measure and manage effort, pay for performance. I've let go plenty of people that worked hard, put in solid effort, exemplary even, but didn't produce results.
Posted by: steve walsh at September 23, 2016 04:35 PM (SPxQP)
435
On the subject of older cars: If you don't have something special, there is one special characteristic of really old, beat up cars that I enjoy:
You can intimidate the hell out of the BMW and jaguar (etc.) owners 'cause YOU aren't afraid to get a scratch in your paint.
You can intimidate the hell out of the BMW and jaguar (etc.) owners 'cause YOU aren't afraid to get a scratch in your paint.
Posted by: West at September 23, 2016 04:47 PM (1Rgee)
436
I'm better than everyone around me.
There is no additional compensation for being better.
So, even phoning it in, I outperform. I see no moral imperative for "giving my best" without being paid for it.
Personal advancement/satisfaction, sure.
There is no additional compensation for being better.
So, even phoning it in, I outperform. I see no moral imperative for "giving my best" without being paid for it.
Personal advancement/satisfaction, sure.
Posted by: Warden at September 23, 2016 04:47 PM (MZ8Zz)
437
From a spiritual perspective, things of the world will never ultimately fulfill the longing for contentment that only God can provide. Many are the distractions in the world that prevent us from living fruitful and fulfilling lives. Money and careers are just one of them.
Posted by: H at September 23, 2016 04:50 PM (DE2lX)
438
Define "top school systems in the state." How do YOU know it is good? Is it something that you just believe because everyone says so?
Consider that schools today are government run. How many government run things do you know of that actually work well? Think about it. Then think about whether what you think you know about your school is really true.
We pulled our daughter out of these quasi-prisons last year and she is much happier and much better educated for it.
Consider that schools today are government run. How many government run things do you know of that actually work well? Think about it. Then think about whether what you think you know about your school is really true.
We pulled our daughter out of these quasi-prisons last year and she is much happier and much better educated for it.
Posted by: John J at September 23, 2016 04:53 PM (TZXEx)
439
Define "top school systems in the state." How do YOU know it is good?
*****************
Test scores.
Additionally, the elementary school we're in is phenomenal. Parent participation is through the roof, the teachers are happy and engaged and the principle is amazing.
You can feel the performance culture just stepping in the door.
*****************
Test scores.
Additionally, the elementary school we're in is phenomenal. Parent participation is through the roof, the teachers are happy and engaged and the principle is amazing.
You can feel the performance culture just stepping in the door.
Posted by: Warden at September 23, 2016 04:55 PM (MZ8Zz)
440
271, if you're still hanging around, here's a little of that advice you want from a geezer who is blissfully married at 25 years with three kids.
You want a happy marriage, there's only one way to do it: both spouses put themselves second to the one they love. You put her first in all things; she puts you first in all things. And you both make the effort to prove that to the other, especially when times get rough. There is no other way. You both do this and you will have trust, security, joy, love that does not fade - all of that Princess Bride True Love stuff. If just one of you decides to put something else ahead of the other, God help you.
You want a happy parenthood, never ever read a parental advice magazine. They're all crap. Follow your own instincts because they're likely pretty solid. And always demonstrate your love for your spouse in front of your kids. That, more than anything else, will make them feel secure and for kids, security is the foundation of a happy childhood.
Everything else will work itself out. Even that crappy job of yours that keeps your loved ones fed and sheltered.
Finally, don't use the G-D word - He doesn't like it, but He loves you all the same.
Godspeed, kid.
You want a happy marriage, there's only one way to do it: both spouses put themselves second to the one they love. You put her first in all things; she puts you first in all things. And you both make the effort to prove that to the other, especially when times get rough. There is no other way. You both do this and you will have trust, security, joy, love that does not fade - all of that Princess Bride True Love stuff. If just one of you decides to put something else ahead of the other, God help you.
You want a happy parenthood, never ever read a parental advice magazine. They're all crap. Follow your own instincts because they're likely pretty solid. And always demonstrate your love for your spouse in front of your kids. That, more than anything else, will make them feel secure and for kids, security is the foundation of a happy childhood.
Everything else will work itself out. Even that crappy job of yours that keeps your loved ones fed and sheltered.
Finally, don't use the G-D word - He doesn't like it, but He loves you all the same.
Godspeed, kid.
Posted by: Cricket624 at September 23, 2016 05:06 PM (or0NX)
441
Test scores are fine but they are not necessarily indicative of the quality of the education. In Loudoun County VA where I live the test scores are high because of the fact that parents are high achieving highly intelligent high earners and they produce intelligent and driven children themselves. The schools, despite being very expensive, are terrible at what they do and even worse for the psyches of the children attending them.
Posted by: John J at September 23, 2016 05:07 PM (TZXEx)
442
Back in 1998 my husband and I were looking to buy our first house -- in New Jersey, which even back then was a very expensive state for housing.
At that time we had a very nice income and the agents were showing us rather expensive houses in upscale communities.
But my husband, Hal, said some of the smartest, most important words he has ever uttered during our marriage:
"Let's buy less house than we can afford. "
I thought we could only get a hovel for the price range he was suggesting, but I was wrong. We found a house we really like in a beautiful, peaceful location.
Shortly thereafter, 9/11 happened. Like a lot of computer professionals in the NY-NJ area, Hal lost his job almost immediately after 9/11 and couldn't find another one in the same field. For a long time I had trouble finding work as well.
Now we earn a lot less money than before but are, thankfully, living in a house we can afford. And which has never gone under water in terms of value versus our mortgage. Hal's insight saved us from a terrible money trap.
Anyway, have a nice weekend all.
At that time we had a very nice income and the agents were showing us rather expensive houses in upscale communities.
But my husband, Hal, said some of the smartest, most important words he has ever uttered during our marriage:
"Let's buy less house than we can afford. "
I thought we could only get a hovel for the price range he was suggesting, but I was wrong. We found a house we really like in a beautiful, peaceful location.
Shortly thereafter, 9/11 happened. Like a lot of computer professionals in the NY-NJ area, Hal lost his job almost immediately after 9/11 and couldn't find another one in the same field. For a long time I had trouble finding work as well.
Now we earn a lot less money than before but are, thankfully, living in a house we can afford. And which has never gone under water in terms of value versus our mortgage. Hal's insight saved us from a terrible money trap.
Anyway, have a nice weekend all.
Posted by: Loretta Weiss-Morris at September 23, 2016 05:07 PM (ykmUB)
443
Gridlock, well said.
Also, I will say that I am more secure and happier now with my old Toyota and little house than all my siblings who bought big houses and BMWs in good times and then went BK in bad times. I bought my clothes at Target, before they went pervy, and lived and vacationed modestly.
I just saved my goal amount, which was sacred, and spent the rest.
Also, I will say that I am more secure and happier now with my old Toyota and little house than all my siblings who bought big houses and BMWs in good times and then went BK in bad times. I bought my clothes at Target, before they went pervy, and lived and vacationed modestly.
I just saved my goal amount, which was sacred, and spent the rest.
Posted by: PJ at September 23, 2016 05:14 PM (cHuNI)
444
Cricket624, I could have written what you did. Both my husband and I put the other first. And both think we've gotten the better deal out of the marriage.
And our kids know how much we love each other, and them. It's why they all still come to us with a hug and a kiss every night before bed, even though they are well past the ages a lot of kids would have stopped doing this. (My youngest is 16.)
And we are a faith-filled family, which is the glue that has cemented us together. I would not change one thing about my life, even the tough times.
And our kids know how much we love each other, and them. It's why they all still come to us with a hug and a kiss every night before bed, even though they are well past the ages a lot of kids would have stopped doing this. (My youngest is 16.)
And we are a faith-filled family, which is the glue that has cemented us together. I would not change one thing about my life, even the tough times.
Posted by: bluebell at September 23, 2016 05:32 PM (xpSCc)
445
And yet there's still that nagging sense of underachievement and wasted potential. I'd be lying if I said I didn't feel insecure and slightly embarrassed of my own middling accomplishments when socializing with high career achievers. This, despite knowing that my choices have been deliberate and well considered.
Ditto that. On the wrong side of 45 and basically doing the same job as when I started at 30 although with a much larger tool kit. I went to an excellent college, one level below the Ivy League/Stanford type schools, and graduate school at an elite institution. I keep to myself where I went to graduate school because I am embarrassed I am not more up the corporate greasy pole. Part of it is horrible choices on my part, very short term thinking to provide for the family week by week, and complete ineptness in corporate politics. I did not go to my college graduation because I was too embarrassed.
Ditto that. On the wrong side of 45 and basically doing the same job as when I started at 30 although with a much larger tool kit. I went to an excellent college, one level below the Ivy League/Stanford type schools, and graduate school at an elite institution. I keep to myself where I went to graduate school because I am embarrassed I am not more up the corporate greasy pole. Part of it is horrible choices on my part, very short term thinking to provide for the family week by week, and complete ineptness in corporate politics. I did not go to my college graduation because I was too embarrassed.
Posted by: Michael K at September 23, 2016 05:38 PM (vu9lK)
446
Meant reunion not graduation. DOH!
Posted by: Michael K at September 23, 2016 05:39 PM (vu9lK)
447
"Are you happy with your choices? And if not, what is stopping you from taking a different path?"
Yes, I am happy with my choices. We outgrew our old house thirty five years ago. Instead of buying a house we couldn't afford in trendy west Omaha, we bought a house we could afford in untrendy east Omaha. We also did the intelligent thing and took out a 15 year rather than a 20 year mortgage. in '93, I inherited a small chunk of mney -- enough to pay off the house and buy a new-to-us minivan, leaving me enough to start my own bookstore. The bookstore has eaten every last bit of my inheritance plus lots more, but it's something I would have hated myself for had I not done it. I am closing next Friday for several reasons. I'm sad, but not devastated.
I had a blast these past 21 years, but the publishing industry has imploded these past couple of years. Unlike most booksellers, I don't blame it on Amazon alone; the publishers actively participated in their own suicide.
Sure, I'd like to have more money and finish out my life in some quiet retirement community with no kids allowed, but then I'd never have had the bookstore or met all the lovely people I did over the past couple of decades.
Yes, I am happy with my choices. We outgrew our old house thirty five years ago. Instead of buying a house we couldn't afford in trendy west Omaha, we bought a house we could afford in untrendy east Omaha. We also did the intelligent thing and took out a 15 year rather than a 20 year mortgage. in '93, I inherited a small chunk of mney -- enough to pay off the house and buy a new-to-us minivan, leaving me enough to start my own bookstore. The bookstore has eaten every last bit of my inheritance plus lots more, but it's something I would have hated myself for had I not done it. I am closing next Friday for several reasons. I'm sad, but not devastated.
I had a blast these past 21 years, but the publishing industry has imploded these past couple of years. Unlike most booksellers, I don't blame it on Amazon alone; the publishers actively participated in their own suicide.
Sure, I'd like to have more money and finish out my life in some quiet retirement community with no kids allowed, but then I'd never have had the bookstore or met all the lovely people I did over the past couple of decades.
Posted by: Deplorable lady with a deplorable basket of deplorable cats at September 23, 2016 05:47 PM (aQ3UV)
448
I keep to myself where I went to graduate school because I am embarrassed I am not more up the corporate greasy pole. Part of it is horrible choices on my part, very short term thinking to provide for the family week by week, and complete ineptness in corporate politics. I did not go to my college graduation because I was too embarrassed.
Posted by: Michael K at September 23, 2016 05:38 PM (vu9lK)
----------------
Michael, if you have been providing for your family like a husband and father should, then you have nothing at all to be embarrassed about. Nothing. Don't let that fancy school be an albatross around your neck. Be proud of what you have accomplished and who you are. Who cares what the rest of your class is doing. I went to a school much like you describe (undergrad only) and some of the people I knew there are people whose names you would recognize; they've gone very far. And good for them. But I've got exactly what I want in my little corner of my world, so good for me! I win, at least I think so.
Posted by: Michael K at September 23, 2016 05:38 PM (vu9lK)
----------------
Michael, if you have been providing for your family like a husband and father should, then you have nothing at all to be embarrassed about. Nothing. Don't let that fancy school be an albatross around your neck. Be proud of what you have accomplished and who you are. Who cares what the rest of your class is doing. I went to a school much like you describe (undergrad only) and some of the people I knew there are people whose names you would recognize; they've gone very far. And good for them. But I've got exactly what I want in my little corner of my world, so good for me! I win, at least I think so.
Posted by: bluebell at September 23, 2016 05:56 PM (xpSCc)
449
Left white collar world to weld about 2 years ago.
Got into NDT from there. Ultrasonic, specifically.
Excellent pay. Union shop so I pay about $28 a month for medical, dental, and eyecare for wife two kids & I.
Wear what I want & forget about the job the instant I leave.
I. Am. In. Heaven.
Grab a skill & you'll make six figures a year with no stress.
Hell if you're punctual and show up sober the boss will kiss your ass.
Got into NDT from there. Ultrasonic, specifically.
Excellent pay. Union shop so I pay about $28 a month for medical, dental, and eyecare for wife two kids & I.
Wear what I want & forget about the job the instant I leave.
I. Am. In. Heaven.
Grab a skill & you'll make six figures a year with no stress.
Hell if you're punctual and show up sober the boss will kiss your ass.
Posted by: #1lurker at September 23, 2016 06:05 PM (/VASf)
450
I am capable of achieving and earning much, much more. And when I see someone in a personally rewarding, high achievement career I feel envious.
I agree the family is more important than the job, but you may be unnecessarily limiting your options. You need to have a job that doesn't require a lot of overtime and pays a certain amount (let's say, at least what you make now), and you need to have a short commute. But it doesn't have to be *this* job. I can be some other job you like more.
In terms of the money trap, I've seen some cases that just make you shake your head. A couple I know moved into a home they could just barely afford, and it made them miserable. They had to take extra work just to keep the bank account above zero, and they were always worried they would get hit with a big expense they couldn't cover.
What's the point of laying your head down in a really expensive house if you can't sleep for worries about money?
I agree the family is more important than the job, but you may be unnecessarily limiting your options. You need to have a job that doesn't require a lot of overtime and pays a certain amount (let's say, at least what you make now), and you need to have a short commute. But it doesn't have to be *this* job. I can be some other job you like more.
In terms of the money trap, I've seen some cases that just make you shake your head. A couple I know moved into a home they could just barely afford, and it made them miserable. They had to take extra work just to keep the bank account above zero, and they were always worried they would get hit with a big expense they couldn't cover.
What's the point of laying your head down in a really expensive house if you can't sleep for worries about money?
Posted by: Ace's deplorable liver, powering through at September 23, 2016 06:15 PM (Xuv2G)
451
As a professional I went from a glass tower job to a home based practice when our oldest child was in junior high. It took 5 years to build back up to what I was making downtown but during that time we home schooled the kids and though we had not much money, I had enough time for lots of table talks, teachable moments or just kicking the ball around with them. I've never regretted it.
After ten years, when our youngest was in her last year of high school, I sold the practice and went into a leveraged buyout of one of my clients and began to play catch up financially. So far that has worked out reasonably well though not without struggles and a few corporate near death experiences due to recession. But we are debt free, have some savings and decent equity in our house and business.
The day that I am able to sell out of the business and retire, the house goes on the market and our daughter's basement suite awaits. I look forward to it actually, because we will be able to live quite cheaply and have enough money left for travel.
After ten years, when our youngest was in her last year of high school, I sold the practice and went into a leveraged buyout of one of my clients and began to play catch up financially. So far that has worked out reasonably well though not without struggles and a few corporate near death experiences due to recession. But we are debt free, have some savings and decent equity in our house and business.
The day that I am able to sell out of the business and retire, the house goes on the market and our daughter's basement suite awaits. I look forward to it actually, because we will be able to live quite cheaply and have enough money left for travel.
Posted by: PhilG at September 23, 2016 06:29 PM (VxFo9)
452
I wish I had your opportunity when I was a young family man.
I worked my ass off, all the time. What time I wasn't working, I was trying to sleep or find some kind of solitary escape from the world.
My kids didn't know me except that I was a tired, grouchy asshole they tried to avoid. My entire identity was my job.
Now I have to live with regrets and attempts to repair relationships with my now grown kids.
Time building a good relationship with your kids while they're growing is more valuable than all the gold in the world. Your job should only be there to enable that.
I worked my ass off, all the time. What time I wasn't working, I was trying to sleep or find some kind of solitary escape from the world.
My kids didn't know me except that I was a tired, grouchy asshole they tried to avoid. My entire identity was my job.
Now I have to live with regrets and attempts to repair relationships with my now grown kids.
Time building a good relationship with your kids while they're growing is more valuable than all the gold in the world. Your job should only be there to enable that.
Posted by: JackO'Spades at September 23, 2016 06:46 PM (CL8im)
453
When a friend of mine finally got laid off, (he HATED his job,) from a crumbling high tech firm, his standard of living barely changed. Said friend uses newspaper coupons as they are intended -- as money. He once bought over forty-five dollars worth of stuff from an evil super market for the cost of a single dime out of pocket. He has always "dumpster dived" in recycling bins for his coupons; or, he has clipped them from the newspapers at the library. After his layoff, a girl at CVS or Walgreens once asked what he did for a living. He handed her his coupons and said, "This." He is my hero -- CouponMan.
Posted by: Marooned at September 23, 2016 06:46 PM (XhyuK)
454
Deplorable lady: everytime a bookstore closes it just kills me. The mom and pops, and the chains. My wife thinks this is odd, because I'm utterly wedded to my kindle, and like most people, she believes that is what killed bookstores. I ghost for several authors, and we talk a lot about the publishing world. Most have adapted well to the Amazons, Bookbubs and self publishing. Some are still hanging on, hoping the old industry will evolve. Me, I like writing the four requested pages, getting my small fee, and seeing how it fits in the finished product. I have farmer friends who no longer farm, but lease their circles and wheels to younger bucks. The young bucks have to make a crop. My friends just collect lease fees. It's a nice place to be.
Thank you for having a store, and for adjusting to the times without bitterness. I did the same in my solo medical practice. I loved my years of practice, saw that it was not going to continue to be viable, and have zero regrets. Enjoy retirement. I do...
Thank you for having a store, and for adjusting to the times without bitterness. I did the same in my solo medical practice. I loved my years of practice, saw that it was not going to continue to be viable, and have zero regrets. Enjoy retirement. I do...
Posted by: macleod at September 23, 2016 07:04 PM (5NEuS)
455
"And yet there's still that nagging sense of underachievement and wasted potential."
Kurt Vonnegut once quoted his sister, a virtuoso pianist who never played professionally, who when asked why she didn't pursue music as a career replied "having a talent does not obligate one to use it".
Your "potential" is your own property and you owe not one calorie of it to society. And I would add that exploiting your potential to be some high-wheeling tyro pulling down seven figures and having your hair mussed up by Jimmy Fallon would be to waste a much more precious potential: the potential to be good to your children.
Tell your snobby friends to shove a dry corncob in it.
Kurt Vonnegut once quoted his sister, a virtuoso pianist who never played professionally, who when asked why she didn't pursue music as a career replied "having a talent does not obligate one to use it".
Your "potential" is your own property and you owe not one calorie of it to society. And I would add that exploiting your potential to be some high-wheeling tyro pulling down seven figures and having your hair mussed up by Jimmy Fallon would be to waste a much more precious potential: the potential to be good to your children.
Tell your snobby friends to shove a dry corncob in it.
Posted by: jbspry at September 23, 2016 07:21 PM (YNPwP)
Posted by: LBascom at September 23, 2016 07:40 PM (Q8d2j)
457
I'm 39. Spent four years as an active duty Army officer then ended up in Federal law enforcement as a special agent. Been doing that for 12 years and sick of it. I make more than decent money (GS 13/7) but that comes at a price- I am forced to work 50+ hours per week, commute 3+ hours per day (can't afford to live in Seattle where the office is) and run the risk of getting killed or maimed- much like my uniformed local law enforcement brethren. Still not sure what I want to be when I grow up, but I have three kids and a wife and a mortgage and live in a nice neighborhood in the People's Republic of WA State. So I'm stuck. As much as I'd like, "following my passion" and chucking it all to go live in Spain and tour around like a bunch of gypsies ain't in the cards and my very sane wife would drop me like a bad habit. And she'd be right.
Recently was back on orders full time with the National Guard for 9 months and it was wonderful. I had forgotten what it was like to accomplish a mission and tell someone to get shit done- and they get it done (unlike the civilian side of the house where following orders seems optional). I head back to my Fed job in OCT. What I'd rather be doing (mastering the art of cooking paella or smoking meats or making my own whiskey) won't pay the bills or keep my kids fed and clothed. So I soldier on. Perhaps that is what it means to be a man and father- you do the things that you find distasteful because you have three kids and wife depending on you. It just really sucks to see so many hours of my life wasted in a job I don't like and all of the time and energy spent in support of said job away from my wife and kids. I can't get that time back.
About my only outlet is writing fiction. And whiskey.
Recently was back on orders full time with the National Guard for 9 months and it was wonderful. I had forgotten what it was like to accomplish a mission and tell someone to get shit done- and they get it done (unlike the civilian side of the house where following orders seems optional). I head back to my Fed job in OCT. What I'd rather be doing (mastering the art of cooking paella or smoking meats or making my own whiskey) won't pay the bills or keep my kids fed and clothed. So I soldier on. Perhaps that is what it means to be a man and father- you do the things that you find distasteful because you have three kids and wife depending on you. It just really sucks to see so many hours of my life wasted in a job I don't like and all of the time and energy spent in support of said job away from my wife and kids. I can't get that time back.
About my only outlet is writing fiction. And whiskey.
Posted by: Secret Squirrel at September 23, 2016 07:46 PM (+NedX)
458
My wife and I read this about 10 years ago. Completely changed our lives.
https://www.amazon.com/Your-Money-Life-Transforming-Relationship/dp/0143115766
Your Money or Your Life: 9 Steps to Transforming Your Relationship with Money and Achieving Financial Independence.
https://www.amazon.com/Your-Money-Life-Transforming-Relationship/dp/0143115766
Your Money or Your Life: 9 Steps to Transforming Your Relationship with Money and Achieving Financial Independence.
Posted by: Danny at September 23, 2016 08:26 PM (56GHY)
459
It's old, but true. No one ever said "I wish I had spent more time at work."
At almost 50 with five kids and working at beating cancer for a third time, family is most important. I've worked 100 hour weeks and built a business. So what. Missed six years of kids lives. Now I have a decent job with good benefits (a dang gummint worker - though I give good value) and time with my family. Training kids to love the Lord has more value than worldly goods. What good is a bunch of loot anyway, you just have to spend time making sure you don't get robbed.
At almost 50 with five kids and working at beating cancer for a third time, family is most important. I've worked 100 hour weeks and built a business. So what. Missed six years of kids lives. Now I have a decent job with good benefits (a dang gummint worker - though I give good value) and time with my family. Training kids to love the Lord has more value than worldly goods. What good is a bunch of loot anyway, you just have to spend time making sure you don't get robbed.
Posted by: Dudeman at September 23, 2016 09:45 PM (+dz8Z)
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