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Neil DeGrasse Tyson Is Here For Two Things, To Smoke Pot and Blow Your Minds With Science, and He's All Out of Pot
Wait, Found a Nice Bud Under the Cushion

So Professor Dipshit is here to entertain his low-IQ disciples with crap that most intelligent people learned in their first visit to the planetarium in first grade:


I tweeted some #JackedScienceFacts (if I'm gettin' jacked, I want my science to be jacked, too) at him:

FACT: Some are confused about the meaning of "lightspeed." In layman's terms, it means the speed at which light travels

FACT: the earth is 70% covered with water, and our bodies are 70% water. Or 60%. Or something. More than half, anyway.

For years, philosophers have pondered if God could make a shoe so large that even He would say, "Shit, big shoe"

FACT: All stars were named by Arabs. Except for the Dog Star. That was named by Dogs. Now who's the racist, Racist?

FACT: the earth orbits the Sun in exactly one solar year. Astronomers have long pondered this cosmic coincidence

A student who exclusively uses the Metric System when speaking to peers will find his asskickings multiplied precisely by ten

The bong, a tubular instrument most often used for inhaling vaporous herbs, was invented by 15th C Italian chemist Guiseppe Bong

FACT: The element Wulfram is so named because it is found only in wolves' tongues. That's why it is also called Tungsten

The Dyson Sphere is a speculative engineering concept of a shell completely enclosing a star to power a giant vacuum

the ancient greeks believed all matter was made up of five elemental substances: earth, air, water, fire, and atoms

FACT: Socrates thought women were inferior because they had 30 teeth instead of 32. We now know this to be false, of course. The inferiority is due to their brains, which are small and dumb. Like those of mollusks.


Posted by: Ace at 05:35 PM




Comments

(Jump to bottom of comments)

1 Bold statement there...

Posted by: HH at September 07, 2016 05:26 PM (DrCtv)

2 Crap!

Posted by: rickb223 at September 07, 2016 05:26 PM (RRfF8)

3
Fact: Bold is the new black

Posted by: Krebs v Carnot: Epic Battle of the Cycling Stars (TM) at September 07, 2016 05:26 PM (fOgSR)

4 Don't actual real scientists that actually do work on this stuff and aren't dumbass celebrities with a degree now figure that the earth won't be vaporized when the sun expands? Sure it will be engulfed but once the sun begins to shrink there will still be something left afterwards.

Posted by: buzzion at September 07, 2016 05:28 PM (z/Ubi)

5 A student who exclusively uses the Metric System when speaking to peers will find his asskickings multiplied precisely by ten



IOW, a metric shit ton.

Posted by: rickb223 at September 07, 2016 05:28 PM (RRfF8)

6
Fact: the sun is a globe of glowing gas.

Fact: NdGT is a globe of glowing stupidity.

Posted by: Krebs v Carnot: Epic Battle of the Cycling Stars (TM) at September 07, 2016 05:28 PM (fOgSR)

7
#dicksoutforscience

Posted by: Mister Magoo's at September 07, 2016 05:29 PM (UEf0W)

8 Puttin' the ass some bold knowledge.

Posted by: Jane D'oh at September 07, 2016 05:29 PM (1ZOkK)

9 Only 5 billion years?!!!??? PANIC!!!!!!

Posted by: DangerGirl and her 1.21 gigawatt Sanity Prod at September 07, 2016 05:29 PM (+eR2D)

10 FACT: Ace set the Delorean's time coordinates for 5 minutes in the futire

Posted by: Shep Smith at September 07, 2016 05:29 PM (OD2ni)

11 This hasn't been postedyet, thats science

Posted by: Skip at September 07, 2016 05:29 PM (0G2eQ)

12
Wait, what?

Women have only 30 teeth??

Posted by: Mister Magoo's at September 07, 2016 05:29 PM (UEf0W)

13 Wow he really is a super genius on the level of Marvin the Maritain at least. At least Marvin had a cool helmet and nice shoes.

Posted by: The Great White Scotsman at September 07, 2016 05:29 PM (iONHu)

14 {i]In 5-billion yrs the Sun will expand engulf our orbit as the charred ember that was once Earth vaporizes. Have a nice day.


He learned that from that highly scientific movie "Knowing".

Posted by: Vic We Have No Party at September 07, 2016 05:29 PM (mpXpK)

15 A nice hefty Sun Explosion Tax will take care of that little problem.

Posted by: Stateless Infidel at September 07, 2016 05:29 PM (rMWDw)

16 Hey ace, you going to live blog the "Commander in Chef" town hall tonight?

Posted by: Nip Sip at September 07, 2016 05:30 PM (NbJXF)

17 118 tops

Posted by: x at September 07, 2016 05:30 PM (nFwvY)

18 I think it's, like, so cool that he's so cool with, like, the whole earth getting all, like, burned up and stuff.

Posted by: Typical Tyson fan at September 07, 2016 05:30 PM (k0G44)

19 In less than 100 years the earth will have decomposed NDTs body. And 98% of humans will likely not even know he existed.

Posted by: Buzzsaw at September 07, 2016 05:30 PM (wrS2o)

20 > Don't actual real scientists that actually do work on this stuff and aren't dumbass celebrities with a degree now figure that the earth won't be vaporized when the sun expands? Sure it will be engulfed but once the sun begins to shrink there will still be something left afterwards.

Nope. Friction will slow it down, drawing it further and further into the sun. Plus, once the surface is hot enough to vaporize, it'll be blasted away from the Earth - like steam from coffee.

Posted by: ArthurK at September 07, 2016 05:30 PM (h53OH)

21
#jackingofftoscienceiscool

Posted by: Mister Magoo's at September 07, 2016 05:30 PM (UEf0W)

22 FACT; I am terrified of being sent to the Barrel if I tried to do bold. And Tyson is a pompous d-bag.

Posted by: Benji Carver at September 07, 2016 05:30 PM (OD2ni)

23 FACT: The element Wulfram is so named because it is found only in wolves' tongues. That's why it is also called Tungsten

So ridiculous. Wolfram is named for Mozart. Cause he was a stud.

Also, the symbol for gold, Au, was named for a James Bond villain. True fact.

Posted by: NDT, who is REALLY not as smart as he thinks, and should just STFU before he embarrasses himself fur at September 07, 2016 05:31 PM (LAe3v)

24 In 5 billion years, humans will have found a way to drag the earth somewhere else, so we won't be affected by this at all. Suck it, Tyson!

Posted by: DangerGirl and her 1.21 gigawatt Sanity Prod at September 07, 2016 05:31 PM (+eR2D)

25 >>the ancient greeks believed all matter was made up of five elemental substances: earth, air, water, fire, and atoms

And then the fire nation attacked...

...and burnt up all the atoms, I guess...

Posted by: Mama AJ at September 07, 2016 05:31 PM (gTQoY)

26
Fact: a metric wedgie is exactly 2.54 times more painful than an English wedgie. Don't even dare ask how much more painful an atomic wedgie is...

Posted by: Krebs v Carnot: Epic Battle of the Cycling Stars (TM) at September 07, 2016 05:31 PM (fOgSR)

27 I wish something would expand and engulf Tyson. Maybe get Bill Nye the Fake Science Guy, too.

Posted by: chiefjaybob, who hates everyone at September 07, 2016 05:31 PM (G2Sc9)

28 That Tyson fellow's pic looks a tad smug.

Posted by: Jane D'oh at September 07, 2016 05:31 PM (1ZOkK)

29 I wonder if I will still be able to get it up in 5 billion years?

Posted by: Nevergiveup at September 07, 2016 05:31 PM (Ozsfq)

30 Fact: Today is Beer Appreciation Day.

Posted by: HH at September 07, 2016 05:31 PM (DrCtv)

31
FACT: Women can't have orgasms.

Posted by: Mister Magoo's at September 07, 2016 05:31 PM (UEf0W)

32 That's some weapons grade bullshit there, Ace. Applause. Did you think that stuff up? Sad that the Idiot Generation, you know, the ones that will sit on OUR death panel review boards, would let this pass without a blink of the eye. We are fucked.

Posted by: tubal at September 07, 2016 05:32 PM (mHL0c)

33 That man is dumber than and a rotten creosote post. But he is a clean and articulate negro so they put him on TV. I wonder why they didn't make him President?

Posted by: Vic We Have No Party at September 07, 2016 05:32 PM (mpXpK)

34 In 5-billion yrs the Sun will expand engulf our orbit as the charred ember that was once Earth vaporizes. Have a nice day.

Not to worry. Hillary will expand and engulf the earth long before then.

Posted by: pep at September 07, 2016 05:32 PM (LAe3v)

35
"Don't actual real scientists that actually do work on this stuff ....
Posted by: buzzion at September 07, 2016 05:28 PM (z/Ubi)

More money is spouting bullshit theories and using emotion rather than facts.

Posted by: Bill Nye at September 07, 2016 05:32 PM (yfObW)

36 I'm honestly stunned TFG hasn't made him Science Czar or some shit.

Posted by: Jane D'oh at September 07, 2016 05:33 PM (1ZOkK)

37 FACT: Carl Sagan's Cosmos was way better.

Posted by: Brother Cavil, down with Eph 6:12-13 at September 07, 2016 05:33 PM (9krrF)

38 ace isn't the only one who loves science sexually.

Posted by: chiefjaybob, who hates everyone at September 07, 2016 05:33 PM (G2Sc9)

39 Fact: if I was half as smart as you, you'd still be twice as smart as me.

Posted by: Farmer Bob at September 07, 2016 05:33 PM (sqpGi)

40 All I'm going to say is I'm on team dark matter and dark energy can suck a bag of dicks.

Paul Ryan is an asshole.

Posted by: Kreplach at September 07, 2016 05:33 PM (x7u1x)

41 FACT: Socrates thought women were inferior because they had 30 teeth
instead of 32. We now know this to be false, of course. The inferiority
is due to their brains, which are small and dumb. Like those of
mollusks.


Plus, they're slow runners and cry like little boys when you sodomize them.


Posted by: kathysaysso at September 07, 2016 05:33 PM (43OZ6)

42 But that vest, man. That vest....I'm wishing I was gay....He's such a fine dude.....

Posted by: HiHo at September 07, 2016 05:33 PM (CPk08)

43 "the ancient greeks believed all matter was made up of five elemental substances: earth, air, water, fire, and atoms"

When I learned Greek science history, the fifth element was grapes, not atoms. Damn public schooling.

Posted by: AnonymousDrivel at September 07, 2016 05:34 PM (1CroS)

44 FACT: A fuckton is a weight equal to that of 1,000 consummation stones.

Posted by: FireHorse at September 07, 2016 05:34 PM (lh7g2)

45 In 5 billion years, the molecular composition of that fart you emitted during a massage will have dissipated on an atomic level to encompass the earth. Thus meaning that you actually farted on the entire planet, not just your masseuse's face. Fortunately, your shame has a half-life of only ten minutes.

Posted by: Banana Splits Guy, in your closet at September 07, 2016 05:34 PM (iNeKR)

46 That man is dumber than and a rotten creosote post. But he is a clean and articulate negro so they put him on TV. I wonder why they didn't make him President?

He was marginally smarter. He traded some extra bennies for lower expectations and came out happier in the long run.

Posted by: Brother Cavil, down with Eph 6:12-13 at September 07, 2016 05:34 PM (9krrF)

47 It's a lot to ask but a few powerball numbers from the future could help out a great deal.

Posted by: Skip at September 07, 2016 05:34 PM (0G2eQ)

48
FACT: Pickle jars are vacuum-sealed to keep out evil spirits.

Posted by: Mister Magoo's at September 07, 2016 05:34 PM (UEf0W)

49 The bong, a tubular instrument most often used for inhaling vaporous herbs, was invented by 15th C Italian chemist Guiseppe Bong[/b[


Huh.

Posted by: Gary Johnson at September 07, 2016 05:34 PM (1ZOkK)

50 Yo!

Posted by: Yo! at September 07, 2016 05:34 PM (uPt3V)

51 Fact: the half-life of this pot is six billion years. But by then it won't matter, because the sun will have smoked it.

Posted by: Stephen Price Blair at September 07, 2016 05:34 PM (2lndx)

52 37
FACT: Carl Sagan's Cosmos was way better.

Posted by: Brother Cavil, down with Eph 6:12-13 at September 07, 2016 05:33 PM (9krrF)

They both suck. Sagan was a smug dickhead.

Posted by: Nip Sip at September 07, 2016 05:34 PM (NbJXF)

53 FACT: Recent measurements reveal that both our universe and Gwyneth Paltrow are nearly perfectly flat.

Posted by: Cicero (@cicero) at September 07, 2016 05:34 PM (8ZskC)

54 When I learned Greek science history, the fifth element was grapes, not atoms. Damn public schooling.

Posted by: AnonymousDrivel


Ridiculous. The fifth element was Milla Jovovich in an orange wig.

Posted by: Brother Cavil, down with Eph 6:12-13 at September 07, 2016 05:35 PM (9krrF)

55 kathysaysso at September 07, 2016 05:33 PM (43OZ6)

You sodomize molluscs? Like, in the siphon or something?

Posted by: HiHo at September 07, 2016 05:35 PM (CPk08)

56 The Dyson Sphere is a speculative engineering concept of a shell completely enclosing a star to power a giant vacuum

Will the Dyson vacuum also have a fey, gaywad-sounding accent?

Posted by: pep at September 07, 2016 05:35 PM (LAe3v)

57 Dude, like let's go the planetarium after we smoke a bowl and watch Cosmos.

Posted by: no good deed at September 07, 2016 05:35 PM (9nt94)

58 A student who exclusively uses the Metric System when speaking to peers will find his asskickings multiplied precisely by ten


hahaha

Posted by: The Jackhole at September 07, 2016 05:35 PM (M+Lyo)

59 And this right here is what you can't get anywhere else.

Posted by: random lurker at September 07, 2016 05:35 PM (WF5ei)

60 Fact: according to the Star Trek documentary series, Iowa is home to something equivalent in size to the Grand Canyon.

No, it isn't Lena Dunham...

Posted by: Krebs v Carnot: Epic Battle of the Cycling Stars (TM) at September 07, 2016 05:35 PM (fOgSR)

61 For the last.fucking.time. The Fifth Element is Lee Loo.
Sheesh.

Posted by: tubal at September 07, 2016 05:35 PM (mHL0c)

62 After that, I'll demonstrate the red shift with my Camaro.

Posted by: no good deed at September 07, 2016 05:35 PM (9nt94)

63 They both suck. Sagan was a smug dickhead.

Posted by: Nip Sip

---

I love you.

He was so condescending on that goddamned show.

Posted by: RKae at September 07, 2016 05:35 PM (i+OYT)

64
True Fact:

The Dyson vacuum cleaner is named for Neil DeGrasse Tyson because both suck with incredible force.

Posted by: J.J. Sefton at September 07, 2016 05:35 PM (9P3OG)

65 The first time I heard that fact spouted at me in a pretentious manner was actually a Babylon 5 episode. No, wait, maybe Earth: Above and Beyond was first.

Posted by: Aetius451AD at September 07, 2016 05:36 PM (WV3Yp)

66 Only 5 billion years?!!!??? PANIC!!!!!!



Game over, man! Game over!

Posted by: rickb223 at September 07, 2016 05:36 PM (RRfF8)

67 I've read 115.5% of scientific experimentation cannot be duplicated now. I blame people like Tyson. He should stick to chicken.

Posted by: AnonymousDrivel at September 07, 2016 05:36 PM (1CroS)

68 P.s. In 5 billion years, you still won't know which bath towel I masturbated in and put neatly back on the shelf. In fact you probably dried your face off with it. Nice party, by the way!

Posted by: Banana Splits Guy, in your closet at September 07, 2016 05:36 PM (iNeKR)

69 Fact: String theory began when Professor Husband forgot to bring home milk and bread after a long day at university.

Posted by: Fritz at September 07, 2016 05:37 PM (HVQlX)

70 Tyson . Ain't he the Chicken King?

Posted by: tubal at September 07, 2016 05:37 PM (mHL0c)

71 The Fifth Element is Lee Loo.



It's love, man. The Fifth Element is love, and love is all you need.

Posted by: no good deed at September 07, 2016 05:37 PM (9nt94)

72
Neil Degrasse Tyson: I tweet useless information that can never be proven wrong!



Posted by: Mister Magoo's at September 07, 2016 05:37 PM (UEf0W)

73 What a colossal dumbass.

If something vaporizes, by definition there isn't a charred ember left.

Or am I making this way too complicated?

Posted by: Sharkman at September 07, 2016 05:37 PM (9KfYY)

74 Same science that says a star wiggled and therefor there is obviously an Earth twin ready for us, maybe.

Posted by: Tinfoilbaby at September 07, 2016 05:37 PM (6Ll1u)

75 De Grasse? Isn't that where Bo shits?

Posted by: Charles Gibson at September 07, 2016 05:37 PM (oXCdI)

76 66
Only 5 billion years?!!!??? PANIC!!!!!!







Game over, man! Game over!

Posted by: rickb223 at September 07, 2016 05:36 PM (RRfF


*frantically stockpiles more food and gold*

Posted by: Glenn Beck at September 07, 2016 05:37 PM (1ZOkK)

77 68 P.s. In 5 billion years, you still won't know which bath towel I masturbated in and put neatly back on the shelf. In fact you probably dried your face off with it. Nice party, by the way!
Posted by: Banana Splits Guy, in your closet at September 07, 2016 05:36 PM (iNeKR)


Schmuck. You jacked off in the towel I took a dump in.

But, 5 billion years.

Posted by: J.J. Sefton at September 07, 2016 05:37 PM (9P3OG)

78 Five billion years!

Think of what the national debt will be by then!

And how many genders we'll be recognizing!

Burning up in the sun will be a blessing.

Posted by: RKae at September 07, 2016 05:38 PM (i+OYT)

79 Isn't that fact also the whole rationale behind the "Golden Path" thing in the Dune series? A way to prevent the human species from ever becoming extinct?

You know, in between all of the sex and the giant worms of the later books. They were... odd.

Posted by: Aetius451AD at September 07, 2016 05:38 PM (WV3Yp)

80 FACT: Splitting beer atoms with your mind is not quite as impressive as splitting beer atoms with your dick.

Posted by: Pug Mahon at September 07, 2016 05:38 PM (RwwCT)

81 The Dyson Sphere is a speculative engineering concept of a shell completely enclosing a star to power a giant vacuum


Someone was watching Star Trek:Next Generation a hour ago....

Posted by: Tami at September 07, 2016 05:38 PM (Enq6K)

82 I saw Tyson in a cameo on the Big Bang Theory. Sheldon thought he was an ignorant douche. I laughed.

Posted by: tubal at September 07, 2016 05:38 PM (mHL0c)

83 Tyson isn't even doing his nihilism right. The sun heats up as its core gets denser (fusion, bitchez) and will turn this planet to Venus Two in a fifth or a tenth of that time, depending on whom you ask.

Posted by: Boulder terlit hobo at September 07, 2016 05:38 PM (5MZ2o)

84 70
Tyson . Ain't he the Chicken King?

Posted by: tubal at September 07, 2016 05:37 PM (mHL0c)

Shit, pork too!
http://tinyurl.com/ceyt8ag

Posted by: Nip Sip at September 07, 2016 05:38 PM (NbJXF)

85
Alright you science denying right wing clodhoppers!

What weighs more.
A ton of feathers or a ton of paste?

Mmmmm...paste.

Posted by: Joe Bide at September 07, 2016 05:38 PM (yfObW)

86 A fuckton is what it'd be if Trigglypuff was on top.

*cringe*


Jim
Sunk New Dawn
Galveston, TX

Posted by: Jim at September 07, 2016 05:38 PM (v5iqM)

87 Is Obama dumber than de grasse or is that the choom talking?

Posted by: torabora at September 07, 2016 05:38 PM (oXCdI)

88 Bro-science is fun

Posted by: Yo! at September 07, 2016 05:39 PM (uPt3V)

89 Schmuck. You jacked off in the towel I took a dump in.

----

In some (gay) cultures, that would mean that you're (gay) married.

Posted by: RKae at September 07, 2016 05:39 PM (i+OYT)

90 Burning up in the sun will be a blessing.
Posted by: RKae at September 07, 2016 05:38 PM (i+OYT)

Solar Expansion 2016!!!

Posted by: Aetius451AD at September 07, 2016 05:39 PM (WV3Yp)

91 45
In 5 billion years, the molecular composition of that fart you emitted
during a massage will have dissipated on an atomic level to encompass
the earth. Thus meaning that you actually farted on the entire planet,
not just your masseuse's face. Fortunately, your shame has a half-life
of only ten minutes.


I read an analysis a long time ago which showed that with every breath you take, you inhale something like 2,000 molecules once inhaled by DaVinci.

I reckon that with all the farting done by humanity over the millenia, we're pretty much inhaling nothing but intestinal effluent.

Posted by: pep at September 07, 2016 05:39 PM (LAe3v)

92 Beef too!


http://tinyurl.com/z9wgff2

Posted by: Nip Sip at September 07, 2016 05:39 PM (NbJXF)

93 For my education videos I'm working on, I've been reading various articles on the crisis in SCIENCE!



About 50% of what we believe to be true isn't, very low percentages of experiments can be successfully replicated, if you want to be published in a peer review journal - it'll help greatly to make friends with the editors, you keep running experiments until you get the numbers you need to get published and like any desperate hooker, you can get a scientist to say or do anything with enough grant money....

Posted by: Stateless Infidel at September 07, 2016 05:39 PM (rMWDw)

94 Fact: if you took all of Hillary's deleted emails and stacked them end to end, they still wouldn't reach as high as the bribes she took from foreign governments.

Posted by: Stephen Price Blair at September 07, 2016 05:39 PM (2lndx)

95 A fuckton is what it'd be if Trigglypuff was on top.

*cringe*


Jim
Sunk New Dawn
Galveston, TX

FACT: I just vomited, a lot.

Posted by: Pug Mahon at September 07, 2016 05:39 PM (RwwCT)

96 FACT: Women are not allowed to drive the Large Hadron Collider, or even hold the keys.

Posted by: Cicero (@cicero) at September 07, 2016 05:39 PM (8ZskC)

97
Any relation to Cicily or Mike?

Posted by: J.J. Sefton at September 07, 2016 05:39 PM (9P3OG)

98 He's one who spews shit out and no one has ever told him he does so.

Posted by: Skip at September 07, 2016 05:39 PM (0G2eQ)

99
And no one twitter replied to this jackass "And So What??"?

Posted by: Mister Magoo's at September 07, 2016 05:39 PM (UEf0W)

100 Fact: A box of hammers are smarter than NDT.

Posted by: dantesed at September 07, 2016 05:40 PM (88xKn)

101 Wasn't there a plan for the morons here to bomb Mercury and use its iron to make a mini Dyson around the sun?

Posted by: Boulder terlit hobo at September 07, 2016 05:40 PM (5MZ2o)

102 Insn't this guy THEO from cosby show
sure is as big a zero.

Posted by: Admiral_Ritt at September 07, 2016 05:40 PM (qs0d3)

103 It's love, man. The Fifth Element is love, and love is all you need.


Posted by: no good deed at September 07, 2016 05:37 PM (9nt94)


I thought it the Fifth Element was dropping in to see what condition your condition was in. Oh wait - that's the Fifth Dimension!

Posted by: kathysaysso at September 07, 2016 05:40 PM (43OZ6)

104 96 FACT: Women are not allowed to drive the Large Hadron Collider, or even hold the keys.
Posted by: Cicero (@cicero) at September 07, 2016 05:39 PM (8ZskC)


But the Large HardOn Collider is another thing entirely.

Posted by: J.J. Sefton at September 07, 2016 05:40 PM (9P3OG)

105
Really, so what?

If the Sun is gonna turn into a flower in 5 billion years, so fucking what??

Posted by: Mister Magoo's at September 07, 2016 05:40 PM (UEf0W)

106 >> The Dyson Sphere is a speculative engineering
>> concept of a shell completely enclosing a star to
>> power a giant vacuum

I believe an appropriate test of your theory would be how long it works.

Since a negative-gravity star will last a very long time, and a Dyson vacuum lasts about six weeks beyond the warranty (which in no case is greater than a hundred thousand years), I hereby declare your theory falsified.

Posted by: JEM at September 07, 2016 05:40 PM (TppKb)

107 NDT is Deep Thoughts for Shallow People.

Posted by: Mr. Peebles at September 07, 2016 05:41 PM (mL2BD)

108 Ok, the shoe one was pretty funny.

Posted by: Stay out da bushes at September 07, 2016 05:41 PM (A5B6s)

109 Former President Bill Clinton ridiculed Republican presidential nominee Donald Trump for his slogan Make America Great Again suggesting that it was a false promise to American voters and racially motivated.
That message, Ill give you America great again If youre a white southerner, you know exactly what it means, Clinton said.

Ya no Honky

Posted by: Nevergiveup at September 07, 2016 05:41 PM (Ozsfq)

110 Neil Degrassi High Tyson loves trolling his fans sexually, even more than he loves science sexually. Kind of rude for a dude running a planetarium.That is literally all I know him from, using science to crap on other people.

That and his cameos in pop culture stuff, which lets be honest is just an LIV virtue signaling shortcut for "cool science brah!"

Posted by: LizLem at September 07, 2016 05:41 PM (hvf9s)

111 Damn. The only black celebrity scientist. And this is what they have to offer.

Posted by: RKae at September 07, 2016 05:41 PM (i+OYT)

112 FACT: Muslims invented the zero in order to accurately quantify the ways in which their presence improved a society.

Posted by: Cicero (@cicero) at September 07, 2016 05:41 PM (8ZskC)

113 20 > Don't actual real scientists that actually do work on this stuff and aren't dumbass celebrities with a degree now figure that the earth won't be vaporized when the sun expands? Sure it will be engulfed but once the sun begins to shrink there will still be something left afterwards.

Nope. Friction will slow it down, drawing it further and further into the sun. Plus, once the surface is hot enough to vaporize, it'll be blasted away from the Earth - like steam from coffee.


Posted by: ArthurK at September 07, 2016 05:30 PM (h53OH)


Nah.... not gonna last that long anyway.... we got the word its in the way of a Freeway offramp....

Posted by: The Dolphins at September 07, 2016 05:41 PM (qf6WZ)

114 And in 10^10^10^56 years we will reach the heat death of the universe where there will not be any energy left in the universe at an level to perform work of any kind which the Tyson has decided to get early start by farting such inanities.

Posted by: Kreplach at September 07, 2016 05:41 PM (x7u1x)

115 82
I saw Tyson in a cameo on the Big Bang Theory. Sheldon thought he was an ignorant douche. I laughed.

Posted by: tubal at September 07, 2016 05:38 PM (mHL0c)

Sheldon didn't like him because he demoted Pluto from planetary status.

Posted by: Tami at September 07, 2016 05:41 PM (Enq6K)

116 Methinks we should leave off his middle name always.

I was told that it was offensive to do that in certain situations, so best be careful.

Posted by: AoSHQ Style Guide at September 07, 2016 05:42 PM (gTQoY)

117 President Barack Obama tells a group of young Asians that when Americans are economically stressed, they turn to racism to cope with their struggles.

????

See a pattern here?

Posted by: Nevergiveup at September 07, 2016 05:42 PM (Ozsfq)

118 if you want to be published in a peer review journal - it'll help
greatly to make friends with the editors, you keep running experiments
until you get the numbers you need to get published and like any
desperate hooker, you can get a scientist to say or do anything with
enough grant money....



What? Why is everyone looking at me?

Posted by: Climate scientists at September 07, 2016 05:42 PM (LAe3v)

119 Well Stu I'll tell you, science is not a sport, it's a way of life, it's no hobby. It's a way of looking at that sine wave and saying, "Hey bud, let's party!"

Famous Quotes, Neil DeGrasse Spicoli

Posted by: Keith at September 07, 2016 05:42 PM (nFB1w)

120 NdGT thinks that because he thinks he is one of the smartest black dudes alive, he is one of the smartest dudes alive.

Shhhh.

Don't anyone tell him that he is as dumb as a bag of hammers.


Posted by: Grampa Jimbo at September 07, 2016 05:43 PM (4+VII)

121 FACT: h2o is commonly known as water. It's impossible to walk on h2o unless you're Jesus or its winter.

Posted by: Joe Hallenbeck at September 07, 2016 05:43 PM (F4kQO)

122 117
President Barack Obama tells a group of young Asians that when Americans
are economically stressed, they turn to racism to cope with their
struggles.



????



See a pattern here?

Posted by: Nevergiveup at September 07, 2016 05:42 PM (Ozsfq)


Gotta hand it to him. He's been one hell of a uniter.

Posted by: Jane D'oh at September 07, 2016 05:44 PM (1ZOkK)

123 115
Sheldon didn't like him because he demoted Pluto from planetary status.
Posted by: Tami at September 07, 2016 05:41 PM (Enq6K)

Yeah, what's up with that any way?
Like his fucking opinion is all that?

Posted by: tubal at September 07, 2016 05:44 PM (mHL0c)

124 The best part was when you called him Professor Kindergarten.

Posted by: Xander Crews at September 07, 2016 05:44 PM (1qMH6)

125 Ed Martin: Eagle Forum Office Spray-Painted with Slurs and Nasty Stuff from the Left After Phyllis Schlaflys Death

Now I am not blaming anyone specifically bUT....

Posted by: Nevergiveup at September 07, 2016 05:44 PM (Ozsfq)

126
I swear this idiot is gonna tweet that it's a fact that bees shouldn't be able to fly, next.

Posted by: Mister Magoo's at September 07, 2016 05:44 PM (UEf0W)

127 NdGT didn't demote Pluto.

A guy named Mike Brown did it.


Posted by: Grampa Jimbo at September 07, 2016 05:44 PM (4+VII)

128 >> President Barack Obama tells a group of young
>> Asians that when Americans are economically
>> stressed, they turn to racism to cope with their
>> struggles.

In other words:

"When the politicians try to jack up university entrance requirements for you to let more black people in instead of you, don't turn to racism to cope with your struggles."

Posted by: JEM at September 07, 2016 05:44 PM (TppKb)

129
They want you to believe the Sun is hot. I urge you to ask yourself 'Have they ever touched it? Think about it.

Posted by: Shit Jaden Smith Said at September 07, 2016 05:44 PM (yfObW)

130 He could be Clock Boy's dad.

Posted by: Jane D'oh at September 07, 2016 05:45 PM (1ZOkK)

131 I read an analysis a long time ago which showed that with every breath you take, you inhale something like 2,000 molecules once inhaled by DaVinci.

I reckon that with all the farting done by humanity over the millenia, we're pretty much inhaling nothing but intestinal effluent.


Posted by: pep at September 07, 2016 05:39 PM (LAe3v)


Yep.... its a scientifically valid theory, that you are, at this exact moment, inhaling Jesus Farts...

Posted by: Don Q., going straight to hell... at September 07, 2016 05:45 PM (qf6WZ)

132
Fact: every human being now alive has at least one atom in their body that once was part of Hitler's body.

#WeAreAllHitlerNow

Posted by: Krebs v Carnot: Epic Battle of the Cycling Stars (TM) at September 07, 2016 05:45 PM (fOgSR)

133 FACT: The wavefunction never collapses.

Posted by: Hugh Everett at September 07, 2016 05:45 PM (8ZskC)

134 "In 5-billion yrs the Sun will expand & engulf our orbit as the charred ember that was once Earth vaporizes."

Drat. And me without my escape pod.

Posted by: AnonymousDrivel at September 07, 2016 05:45 PM (1CroS)

135 N deG T isn't stupid, but his head has been turned by his fame.

Posted by: JEM at September 07, 2016 05:45 PM (TppKb)

136 11 This hasn't been postedyet, thats science

Did you know postedyet is a Russian word? It means you hold your vodka well.

Posted by: Northernlurker at September 07, 2016 05:45 PM (hJrjt)

137


oh oh

Posted by: artisanal 'ette at September 07, 2016 05:45 PM (qCMvj)

138 I thought it the Fifth Element was dropping in to see what condition your condition was in. Oh wait - that's the Fifth Dimension!



This is the dawning of the age of aquarius!

Posted by: rickb223 at September 07, 2016 05:46 PM (RRfF8)

139 Wednesday on MSNBCs Morning Joe, Chuck Todd, the moderator of NBCs Meet the Press, quipped that anti-intellectualism had taken over the Republican Party.

They hate us so much.

Posted by: Nevergiveup at September 07, 2016 05:46 PM (Ozsfq)

140 Mike Brown, a real astronomer at Cal Tech.

Not a planetarium barker.


Posted by: Grampa Jimbo at September 07, 2016 05:46 PM (4+VII)

141 They want you to believe the Sun is hot. I urge you to ask yourself 'Have they ever touched it? Think about it.

Posted by: Shit Jaden Smith Said

----

I touched it.

...But I did it at night when it was turned off. So I don't know if that counts.

Posted by: RKae at September 07, 2016 05:46 PM (i+OYT)

142 That message, Ill give you America great again If youre a white southerner, you know exactly what it means, Clinton said.

Did you learn that from Senator Fulbright, Bubba?

Posted by: Mr. Peebles at September 07, 2016 05:46 PM (mL2BD)

143 So do you think the murderer in a murder suicide thought it through? Like hey , really didn't expect to see you again, kind of awkwardness.

Posted by: Joe Hallenbeck at September 07, 2016 05:46 PM (F4kQO)

144 Does Tyson even have a show now? Because that bow-tie wearing cockholster, Bill Nye, seems to be doing quite well for himself.

Posted by: Fritz at September 07, 2016 05:46 PM (HVQlX)

145 "FACT: the earth orbits the Sun in exactly one solar year. Astronomers have long pondered this cosmic coincidence"


That's up there with Lou Gherig dying of Lou Gherig'so disease as a huge coincidence.

Posted by: bergerbilder at September 07, 2016 05:46 PM (27WlQ)

146 I don't think we consciously realize how we subconsciously force Neil Degrasse Tyson to tweet about science as if he didn't need to locked inside his locker after getting an atomic wedgie.

Posted by: simplemind at September 07, 2016 05:46 PM (xVRrG)

147 FACT: the abacus was invented by a guy trying to explain his ben wa balls to his mother in law.

Posted by: Banana Splits Guy, in your closet at September 07, 2016 05:46 PM (iNeKR)

148 I thought we were all going to burn up in a few hundred years from global warming

Posted by: Tinfoilbaby at September 07, 2016 05:47 PM (msvyE)

149 Isn't he kind of a pudgy black version of Bill Nye?

Posted by: tubal at September 07, 2016 05:47 PM (mHL0c)

150 Mike Brown, a real astronomer at Cal Tech.

---

Or he was, anyway, until that cop in Ferguson shot him!

He was trying to turn his life around!!!!

Posted by: RKae at September 07, 2016 05:47 PM (i+OYT)

151 In Peruvia, a "neil degrasse tyson" is an adult diaper.

Posted by: Jane D'oh at September 07, 2016 05:47 PM (1ZOkK)

152 They hate us so much.
Posted by: Nevergiveup at September 07, 2016 05:46 PM (Ozsfq)

Am starting to return their loathing...Really , I tried not to, but it's a matter of self preservation: they care nothing for me and mine and would off us all if given half a chance..

Posted by: RondinellaMamma at September 07, 2016 05:47 PM (oQQwD)

153 NdGT didn't demote Pluto.

A guy named Mike Brown did it.




He's f'n Goofy!

Posted by: rickb223 at September 07, 2016 05:48 PM (RRfF8)

154 FACT: If you like doughnuts, you can thank a Muslim. Muhammad invented good taste.

Posted by: I love Science in the ass at September 07, 2016 05:48 PM (svFmG)

155 He is the Cliff Clavin of science, but without the charm or humor.

Posted by: Gentlemen, this is democracy manifest at September 07, 2016 05:48 PM (LWu6U)

156 5 elements my ass...Earth Wind & Fire is all you need.

Posted by: Cu'Chulainn at September 07, 2016 05:48 PM (vmsda)

157 Wednesday on MSNBCs Morning Joe, Chuck Todd, the moderator of NBCs Meet the Press, quipped that anti-intellectualism had taken over the Republican Party.

Intellectualism: The Earth Has A Fever, The War on Poverty, Bruce Jenner's a Chick, Give Iran the Bomb, Open Borders + Welfare State, More Taxes Will Fix It...

Posted by: Mr. Peebles at September 07, 2016 05:48 PM (mL2BD)

158 "They both suck. Sagan was a smug dickhead.
Posted by: Nip Sip"


I liked the SCTV spoof where Sagan gets whacked in the head by a model planet as he is describing the show. Cut to the guy in the booth who says "Serves him right, I told the jerk not to go in there."

Posted by: Benji Carver at September 07, 2016 05:48 PM (OD2ni)

159 To be fair, NDT is just rolling out the new t-shirt slogans now available in the museum gift shop. It's his primary responsibility.

Posted by: Emmett Milbarge at September 07, 2016 05:48 PM (nFdGS)

160 Posted by: Mama AJ at September 07, 2016 05:31 PM (gTQoY)

Hah!

Posted by: LizLem at September 07, 2016 05:48 PM (hvf9s)

161 No, Neil Bag Of Gas Tyson is stupid. You dont make insipid comments like this unless you got nothin' but banality upstairs. Any comment on any thread here is more insightful, including those about Hope Solo' s colon

Posted by: Boulder terlit hobo at September 07, 2016 05:48 PM (5MZ2o)

162 142 That message, Ill give you America great again If youre a white southerner, you know exactly what it means, Clinton said.

Did you learn that from Senator Fulbright, Bubba?
Posted by: Mr. Peebles at September 07, 2016 05:46 PM (mL2BD)



Senator Robert Byrd.

Posted by: rickb223 at September 07, 2016 05:49 PM (RRfF8)

163 Fact: my gender has 23 different sexual organs and I have 8 different orgasms at any one moment.


...10 orgasms if I'm sharing a multi-gender bathroom with a pissed off feminist who resents me peeing standing up, which is a new form of rape I'm working on....


SCIENCE!

Posted by: Stateless Infidel at September 07, 2016 05:49 PM (rMWDw)

164 NDT is truly the Carrot Top of Science.

Be sure to catch him Sept. 14-18 at the CERN Chuckle Hut.

Posted by: Mr. Peebles at September 07, 2016 05:49 PM (mL2BD)

165 "A student who exclusively uses the Metric System when speaking to peers will find his asskickings multiplied precisely by ten"

This is why I visit here everyday.

Posted by: Samuel Adams at September 07, 2016 05:49 PM (cbW3l)

166 >> They hate us so much.

Actually, if 'anti-intellectualism' means 'lanterne all the Harvards' I might not disagree with the sentiment.

Yes, I've developed an abiding hatred for the ivies, to the point that were I President I might just float the occasional Reaper over them just to make them think.

But I don't consider myself anti-intellectual, just opposed to what it's become since the '80s Reagan-hate took over the academe.

Posted by: JEM at September 07, 2016 05:49 PM (TppKb)

167 Any comment on any thread here is more insightful, including those about Hope Solo' s colon

Posted by: Boulder terlit hobo

----

Hope Solo farted first!!!!

Posted by: RKae at September 07, 2016 05:50 PM (i+OYT)

168 True Fact: The destruction of Pompeii was caused by global warming.

Posted by: Jane D'oh at September 07, 2016 05:50 PM (1ZOkK)

169 FACT: ancient people used to wipe their ass with papyrus grass. This led to the creation of bath towels.

Posted by: Banana Splits Guy, in your closet at September 07, 2016 05:50 PM (iNeKR)

170 Hilarious!

Posted by: Cheri at September 07, 2016 05:50 PM (oiNtH)

171 The earth turning to cinders in 5 bullion years is not the most pressing thing on my mind right now, Thanks anyway, Neil. Have nice day!

Posted by: FenelonSpoke at September 07, 2016 05:50 PM (EnGQE)

172 If someone tells you that you're dumber than NDT, tell everyone that's impossible.

Posted by: dantesed at September 07, 2016 05:51 PM (88xKn)

173 FACT: If you hit a baseball 32 lightyears, your grandson could catch it.

Posted by: I love Science in the ass at September 07, 2016 05:51 PM (svFmG)

174 Nevergiveup: "Chuck Todd, the moderator of NBCs Meet the Press, quipped that anti-intellectualism had taken over the Republican Party."

No, it's all the anti-pseudo-intellectualism that is starting to take over.

So Todd the Intellectual doesn't know his ass from a hole in the ground.

Posted by: AnonymousDrivel at September 07, 2016 05:51 PM (1CroS)

175 So I guess that means Chuck Todd considers himself an intellectual?

Posted by: Mr. Peebles at September 07, 2016 05:51 PM (mL2BD)

176 If youre a white southerner, you know exactly what it means, Clinton said.

Riiiiight, funny how he's the white southerner hearing that dog whistle.

Posted by: no good deed at September 07, 2016 05:51 PM (9nt94)

177 FACT: a pound of feathers weighs the same as a pound of lead. And lead feathers would not weigh twice as much.

Posted by: Joe Hallenbeck at September 07, 2016 05:51 PM (F4kQO)

178 I tweeted some #JackedScienceFacts (if I'm gettin' jacked, I want my science to be jacked, too) at him:

You need to add "Have a nice day." to the end of them, Ace.

Posted by: FenelonSpoke at September 07, 2016 05:52 PM (EnGQE)

179 FACT: Lena Dunham's vagina smells like sour milk and shame.

Posted by: Wyatt Earp at September 07, 2016 05:52 PM (gA69l)

180 Fact: When Neil Tyson shook hands with Cliff Clavan on Cheers, a new black hole was formed. And the Los Angeles NAACP immediately sued Paramount.

Posted by: Stephen Price Blair at September 07, 2016 05:52 PM (2lndx)

181 >> True Fact: The destruction of Pompeii was caused
>> by global warming.

Well, given that the climate models out there don't get volcanic activity correct, you're not ENTIRELY wrong. But you're not right either.

Posted by: JEM at September 07, 2016 05:52 PM (TppKb)

182 "Any comment on any thread here is more insightful, including those about Hope Solo' s colon

Posted by: Boulder terlit hobo
----
Hope Solo farted first!!!!"


I bet she farts when getting a massage. Ace is in good company.

Posted by: Benji Carver at September 07, 2016 05:52 PM (OD2ni)

183 FACT: All stars were named by Arabs. Except for the Dog Star. That was named by Dogs. Now who's the racist, Racist?



FACT: The Dog Star was named by my dog.

She's very old. And pees a lot on the rug.

Not unlike Hillary!

Posted by: naturalfake at September 07, 2016 05:52 PM (0cMkb)

184 ... as the charred ember that was once Earth is vaporized.

What difference at this point does it make?

Posted by: Abuela Borracha at September 07, 2016 05:53 PM (2BiKh)

185 They hate us so much.
=======================

No. They really loath themselves. Us - they construct in their minds as imaginary mouth breathing horrors - so that they can be better than that low bar.

They hate themselves. The sight of themselves in the light of the mirror of truth is so abhorrent they must wrap themselves in layers and layers of lies.

They are all in pain. Self made pain, which they try to escape by cutting themselves again, and again and again. Because the new pain makes the old go away, and that pain goes away with new pain . . .and so on and so on until death takes them to wherever the pain never stops.

Pray for them.

Posted by: simplemind at September 07, 2016 05:53 PM (xVRrG)

186 177 FACT: a pound of feathers weighs the same as a pound of lead. And lead feathers would not weigh twice as much.

Posted by: Joe Hallenbeck at September 07, 2016 05:51 PM (F4kQO)


But, it would hurt twice as much to be hit by a Pound of Lead Feathers, as opposed to a Pound of regular Feathers...

ergo...

Posted by: Don Q., at September 07, 2016 05:53 PM (qf6WZ)

187 FACT: if you shit in one hand and wish in the other, you will have a lot of explaining to do at the faculty luncheon.

Posted by: Banana Splits Guy, in your closet at September 07, 2016 05:53 PM (iNeKR)

188 No. Pompeii was destroyed by fracking.

Posted by: RKae at September 07, 2016 05:53 PM (i+OYT)

189 "Chuck Todd, the moderator of NBCs Meet the Press, quipped that anti-intellectualism had taken over the Republican Party."

To which the obvious answer is: "and how would you recognize intellectualism, much less its opposite, Mr. Todd?"

Posted by: pep at September 07, 2016 05:53 PM (LAe3v)

190 FACT: Pacific typhoons can transport an aircraft carrier back to December 7, 1941.

Posted by: Wyatt Earp at September 07, 2016 05:54 PM (gA69l)

191
Check out the kitten cam now!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H0euSoQ4Ue8

Posted by: Mister Magoo's at September 07, 2016 05:54 PM (UEf0W)

192 >>So Todd the Intellectual doesn't know his ass from a
>> hole in the ground.

Chuck Todd intellectual.

Period.

Posted by: JEM at September 07, 2016 05:54 PM (TppKb)

193 FACT: Tapirs would have become Earth's dominant life form if aliens hadn't dropped that monolith near the monkeys.

Posted by: Cicero (@cicero) at September 07, 2016 05:54 PM (8ZskC)

194 FACT: 94,874,804 American workers without jobs = 4.9% unemployment and inching lower.

Posted by: washrivergal at September 07, 2016 05:54 PM (CFc5L)

195
Does Tyson even have a show now? Because that bow-tie wearing cockholster, Bill Nye, seems to be doing quite well for himself.
Posted by: Fritz at September 07, 2016 05:46 PM (HVQlX)

"No one ever went broke underestimating the intelligence of the American people."

Posted by: Shit H.L. Mencken Said at September 07, 2016 05:54 PM (yfObW)

196 Ugh, Bill Nye the "science" guy is getting a talkshow - so we'll get even more of this stuff.

Posted by: Lizzy at September 07, 2016 05:54 PM (NOIQH)

197
114 And in 10^10^10^56 years we will reach the heat death of the universe where there will not be any energy left in the universe at an level to perform work of any kind.


The universe is evolving to become composed solely of EBT cards, in other words.

Posted by: Krebs v Carnot: Epic Battle of the Cycling Stars (TM) at September 07, 2016 05:54 PM (d6Zcu)

198 Another Deep Thought with NDT:

"Objective truths are established by evidence. Personal truths by faith. Political truths by incessant repetition."

Of course, he doesn't mean HIS political truths, he means YOURS.

Posted by: Mr. Peebles at September 07, 2016 05:54 PM (mL2BD)

199 Phew! When I first read that I thought it said MILLION years!

Posted by: bergerbilder at September 07, 2016 05:54 PM (27WlQ)

200
the three kittens are smacking each other around

Posted by: Mister Magoo's at September 07, 2016 05:54 PM (UEf0W)

201 What Chuck Todd said is a meaningless statement, based on absolutely nothing. The fact that the Progressives do this constantly, are never called on it by anyone else in the MSM, tells me that we truly live in an authoritarian, Fascist state. The Media might as well be run by Goebbels.

Posted by: tubal at September 07, 2016 05:55 PM (mHL0c)

202 Sheldon didn't like him because he demoted Pluto from planetary status.
Posted by: Tami at September 07, 2016 05:41 PM (Enq6K)

Exactly my point: using science to crap on other people.

And whether he came up with the demoting Pluto idea or not, he is credited with it in the hallowed halls of public opinion.

Posted by: LizLem at September 07, 2016 05:55 PM (hvf9s)

203 FACT: Fallopian tubes can transport eggs from ovaries or hold .2 liter orange soda. You still want to go down on that???

Posted by: I love Science in the ass at September 07, 2016 05:55 PM (svFmG)

204 Ugh, Bill Nye the "science" guy is getting a talkshow - so we'll get even more of this stuff.

Didn't they notice what an insufferable asshat he is?

Posted by: Mr. Peebles at September 07, 2016 05:55 PM (mL2BD)

205 188 No. Pompeii was destroyed by fracking.

Posted by: RKae at September 07, 2016 05:53 PM (i+OYT)


I thought that was Sodom and Gomorah....

Posted by: Don Q., at September 07, 2016 05:55 PM (qf6WZ)

206 Fact: Neil douchebag Tyson was blown away by "what if C-A-T spelled 'dog' and he wasn't even stoned.

Posted by: Buzzion at September 07, 2016 05:55 PM (z/Ubi)

207 RondinellaMamma: "...they care nothing for me and mine and would off us all if given half a chance."

Yeah, when SMOD arrives on the way to D.C., I hope it goes through ABCMSNBCBSCNNNYTWAPO first.

Posted by: AnonymousDrivel at September 07, 2016 05:55 PM (1CroS)

208 >> To which the obvious answer is: "and how would
>> you recognize intellectualism, much less its
>> opposite, Mr. Todd?"

His only possible answer is that he'll know it when it's hanging out of his bunghole like one of Keith Vaz' Romanian rentboys' dicks*.

* if you don't follow UK politics google 'keith vaz rentboy' for a good laugh.

Posted by: JEM at September 07, 2016 05:56 PM (TppKb)

209
Pray for them.
Posted by: simplemind at September 07, 2016 05:53 PM (xVRrG)

I'm done praying for them. I'm praying for myself right now.

Posted by: washrivergal at September 07, 2016 05:56 PM (CFc5L)

210 My name is Chuck Todd and I read news copy people hand to me. I am an intellectual.

Posted by: Joe Hallenbeck at September 07, 2016 05:56 PM (F4kQO)

211 Hey Tyson, answer this:
How high is up?


Dickhead

Posted by: Diogenes at September 07, 2016 05:56 PM (r65B3)

212 Fact: A blackhole is like a puckering sphincter to another dimension of space and time and dark matter.

Posted by: Fritz at September 07, 2016 05:56 PM (HVQlX)

213 Very funny ace.

Esp loved the Dyson vacuum bit.

Posted by: Max Power at September 07, 2016 05:56 PM (q177U)

214 Hope Solo farted first!!!!"


I bet she farts when getting a massage. Ace is in good company.
Posted by: Benji Carver at September 07, 2016 05:52 PM (OD2ni)



I'll bet she doesn't complain about a finger in the butt.

Posted by: rickb223 at September 07, 2016 05:56 PM (RRfF8)

215 FACT: Tattaglia is a pimp who could never have outfought Santino.

Posted by: Cicero (@cicero) at September 07, 2016 05:57 PM (8ZskC)

216 FACT: "laugh-a while you can, monkey boy" is meaningless. Clearly a monkey boy can only laugh while he can, and cannot laugh when he cannot.

Posted by: Banana Splits Guy, in your closet at September 07, 2016 05:57 PM (iNeKR)

217 FACT: In 5 million years, humans will have evolved to have no teeth.

Instead they will have a conical orifice not unlike the anteater.

However, they will not eat ants but instead obtain most of their nutrition by giving blowjobs to marmots.

Posted by: naturalfake at September 07, 2016 05:57 PM (0cMkb)

218 The chick who wrote eat pray love has decided she's now a lesbian. Apparently the sequel to eat pray love will be eat pray love me some pussy now.

Posted by: nckate at September 07, 2016 05:57 PM (/6xSK)

219 >> Chuck Todd intellectual.

That was supposed to say:

Chuck Todd != intellectual

But somehow it got eaten.

Posted by: JEM at September 07, 2016 05:57 PM (TppKb)

220 FACT: you can take a museum tour guide out of a museum but you cannot take the unwarranted smugness out of him.

Posted by: weft cut-loop at September 07, 2016 05:57 PM (V3IFq)

221 IF NdGT knew twice as much, he'd still only know half as much as he thinks he does.

Posted by: random lurker at September 07, 2016 05:58 PM (WF5ei)

222 I have an idea, why not a pickle jar on the podium before each debate. Who opens it first, wins....Hillary will always win...she gets the pre-opened jar...ladies first...

Posted by: Colin at September 07, 2016 05:58 PM (hIWCG)

223 FACT: Pluto was removed as a planet but soon will be replaced by a larger, more terrible planet called Bluto.

Posted by: Joe Hallenbeck at September 07, 2016 05:59 PM (F4kQO)

224 FACT: You will not find a more smug punchable asshole face than Neil thedouchebag Tyson.

Posted by: Timon at September 07, 2016 05:59 PM (396pH)

225 Interesting weather pattern incoming to DC. TStorms descending in a line from due north. They usually come in from the west. Lots of thunder, and the dog is unhappy.

Posted by: pep at September 07, 2016 05:59 PM (LAe3v)

226 FACT: Hillary is both physically and mentally unfit for office, but by God, they're going to vote for her anyway.

Posted by: washrivergal at September 07, 2016 05:59 PM (CFc5L)

227 >> Fact: A blackhole is like a puckering sphincter to
>> another dimension of space and time and dark
>> matter

And sometimes even to the White House.

Posted by: Beyonce (pronounced Bee-on-SAY!) at September 07, 2016 05:59 PM (TppKb)

228 The universe is recursive.

Proof: NdGT can stare out his mouth and see the inside of his rectum - ad infinitum.

Posted by: Roy at September 07, 2016 05:59 PM (fWLrt)

229 FACT: the odds that you chose the stall without toilet paper are exponentially proportional to the urgency of your shit.

Posted by: Banana Splits Guy, in your closet at September 07, 2016 06:00 PM (iNeKR)

230 151
In Peruvia, a "neil degrasse tyson" is an adult diaper.


Posted by: Jane D'oh at September 07, 2016 05:47 PM (1ZOkK)

Astonishing! In Austrian "neil degrasse tyson" means "smeared shorts." Peruvian and Austrian are so similar!

Posted by: kathysaysso at September 07, 2016 06:00 PM (43OZ6)

231 >> Lots of thunder, and the dog is unhappy.

Nothing personal, but if DC got washed 300 miles into the Atlantic I'd petition for a new national holiday.

Posted by: JEM at September 07, 2016 06:00 PM (TppKb)

232 Science schmience this is more fun . . .

http://tinyurl.com/gktpkaj

Posted by: simplemind at September 07, 2016 06:01 PM (xVRrG)

233 I repeat, the dog is unhappy. Wound my heart with a monotonous langour and all that.

Posted by: pep at September 07, 2016 06:01 PM (LAe3v)

234 Fact: NDT has a 70's hairy pussy shaped mouth.

Posted by: Pepe, founder of the fn-right at September 07, 2016 06:01 PM (Xa+bj)

235 FACT: God can create a rock so big he could not move it. But God can create a bulldozer big enough to help him move it.

Posted by: Joe Hallenbeck at September 07, 2016 06:02 PM (F4kQO)

236

Tyson is a man who knows how to use twitter.

Posted by: Knapping Man at September 07, 2016 06:02 PM (DFIly)

237 FACT: Neil deGrasse Tyson scored the winning goal in next year's Stanley Cup Final game 7.

Posted by: Roy at September 07, 2016 06:02 PM (fWLrt)

238 >> I repeat, the dog is unhappy. Wound my heart with
>> a monotonous langour and all that.

Is that code for "rise up and slaughter your oppressors"?

Posted by: JEM at September 07, 2016 06:02 PM (TppKb)

239 Fact: If I ever find myself giving one iota of a damn about NdGT, I will be doing tequila shooters until the feeling passes.

Posted by: Sherry McEvil, Stiletto Corsettes now with tiny wizened charcoal grey lump that is the McEvil heart at September 07, 2016 06:02 PM (kXoT0)

240 Lesbians?! Again???

Posted by: Yo! at September 07, 2016 06:03 PM (uPt3V)

241 Random true story alert.
One of my dad's friends was a good ol' country boy. He bore witness to a car accident and was asked to testify in court. So, the defense lawyer was cross-examining him and asked what he was doing at the time of the accident. He said he was standing in his field working on his fence. The lawyer asked him how far away he was standing from the accident. He said about two hundred yards. The lawyer thought he would make a fool out of him and asked him, "Well, that's pretty far. Just how far can you see?" My dad's buddy replied, "I can see to the moon. How far is that?"

Posted by: no good deed at September 07, 2016 06:03 PM (9nt94)

242 235 FACT: God can create a rock so big he could not move it. But God can create a bulldozer big enough to help him move it.


Do You Believe!!

Posted by: Rachel Corrie at September 07, 2016 06:03 PM (fWLrt)

243 "Tell me that mouth hasn't sucked a cock,"

Posted by: Gentlemen, this is democracy manifest at September 07, 2016 06:03 PM (LWu6U)

244 226
FACT: Hillary is both physically and mentally unfit for office, but by God, they're going to vote for her anyway.

Posted by: washrivergal


Yeah, I'm not a medical doctor, but that guy convinced me. WTH is wrong with people that they would vote for someone in this condition?

Posted by: pep at September 07, 2016 06:03 PM (LAe3v)

245 I am pretty sure that Tyson is capable of saying some monumentally stupid statement like "the science is settled", probably the most ignorant unscientific statement ever made.

(Not because he's stupid, mind, but because he's a sold-out whore to the Left).

Posted by: tubal at September 07, 2016 06:03 PM (mHL0c)

246 The chick who wrote eat pray love has decided she's now a lesbian. Apparently the sequel to eat pray love will be eat pray love me some pussy now.
Posted by: nckate at September 07, 2016 05:57 PM (/6xSK)


Publicity tolling for her new book "Eat Pray Queef"?

Posted by: LizLem at September 07, 2016 06:04 PM (hvf9s)

247 The earth turning to cinders in 5 bullion years is not the most pressing thing on my mind right now, Thanks anyway, Neil. Have nice day!

Posted by: FenelonSpoke
________

I know it was a typo, but I'm going with it -

FACT: If you made a can of alphabet soup and stirred it in a bowl so the letters were constantly rearranging randomly, it would read "HAVE A NICE DAY" in 1 bullion years.

Posted by: FireHorse at September 07, 2016 06:04 PM (lh7g2)

248 FACT: Neil deGrasse Tyson hasn't published a paper in years, but he is on DANCING WITH THE STARS this fall!

Posted by: Mr. Peebles at September 07, 2016 06:04 PM (mL2BD)

249 >> But God can create a bulldozer big enough to help
>> him move it.

Unfortunately, we just closed the plant that builds those. China isn't buying shit right now.

Light a few more candles and we might open a line to build those in Mexico.

Posted by: God, sales agent for Caterpillar Inc at September 07, 2016 06:04 PM (TppKb)

250 If the Earth is consumed by solar fire in billions of years. The left is still going to blame Bush.

Posted by: Roy at September 07, 2016 06:05 PM (fWLrt)

251
Bullion is a perfectly cromulent word.

Posted by: Knapping Man at September 07, 2016 06:05 PM (DFIly)

252 Lots of thunder, and the dog is unhappy.

Yeah, my daughter isn't too happy about it either. She hates thunder. I told her don't worry about the thunder. It's the lightening that gets ya'. She should sleep well tonight.

Posted by: no good deed at September 07, 2016 06:05 PM (9nt94)

253 >> Neil deGrasse Tyson hasn't published a paper in
>> years

Has he EVER? I thought he was basically a mouth.

Posted by: God, sales agent for Caterpillar Inc at September 07, 2016 06:06 PM (TppKb)

254 Who the hell said God was a cobbler?

Posted by: Diogenes at September 07, 2016 06:06 PM (r65B3)

255 Yeah, my daughter isn't too happy about it either. She hates thunder. I told her don't worry about the thunder. It's the lightening that gets ya'. She should sleep well tonight.
Posted by: no good deed
------------------------

It's that dead tree next to the hole for the swimming pool she should keep an eye on.

Posted by: Roy at September 07, 2016 06:06 PM (fWLrt)

256 For years, philosophers have pondered if God could make a shoe so large that even He would say, "Shit, big shoe"



That would be a really big shoe.

Posted by: zombie Ed Sullivan at September 07, 2016 06:07 PM (BO/km)

257 In 100 years people will still be talking about Einstein. In 50 years nobody will have a fucking clue who Neil DeGrasse Tyson was.

Posted by: Buzzion at September 07, 2016 06:07 PM (z/Ubi)

258 Fact: NdGT has a uterus where his thyroid should be to go along with his pussy shaped mouth.

Posted by: Pepe, founder of the fn-right at September 07, 2016 06:07 PM (Xa+bj)

259 Fact: "Astronomy for Dummies" is easier than "Astrophysics for Dummies."

Posted by: Neil DeGrasse Tyson at September 07, 2016 06:07 PM (NbTeC)

260 It's that dead tree next to the hole for the swimming pool she should keep an eye on.

Yeah, that scared the crap out of me when I was a kid. LOL

Posted by: no good deed at September 07, 2016 06:08 PM (9nt94)

261 >>>The chick who wrote eat pray love has decided she's now a lesbian. Apparently the sequel to eat pray love will be eat pray love me some pussy now.<<<

Damn it! That book or movie or whatever the fuck it was, got me laid by some pretty hot divorcees.

Posted by: Fritz at September 07, 2016 06:08 PM (HVQlX)

262 When you say Ancient Greeks, I'm assuming you mean Ancient Geeks. Which makes more sense. And is more inclusive, cause racism.

Posted by: Goomba 'wants a Jerkey thread so bad he can taste it.' at September 07, 2016 06:08 PM (pERRc)

263 >> If the Earth is consumed by solar fire in billions of
>> years. The left is still going to blame Bush.

You won't have to wait that long.

Posted by: SMOD 2016, the mystery meteor at September 07, 2016 06:09 PM (TppKb)

264 >>In 100 years people will still be talking about Einstein. In 50 years nobody will have a fucking clue who Neil DeGrasse Tyson was.

I doubt there are many people outside of the very politically aware who have a clue who the guy is.

Posted by: JackStraw at September 07, 2016 06:09 PM (/tuJf)

265 'Apparently the sequel to eat pray love will be eat pray love me some pussy now. '


How about Eat, Pray You Don't Get Throat Cancer.

Posted by: zombie Michael Douglas at September 07, 2016 06:09 PM (BO/km)

266 Fact: "Astronomy for Dummies" is easier than "Astrophysics for Dummies."





Posted by: Neil DeGrasse Tyson at September 07, 2016 06:07 PM (NbTeC)


Which begs the question: "Wouldn't you be more in your depth as an astrologer?"

Posted by: Country Singer at September 07, 2016 06:09 PM (GUBah)

267 261 >>>The chick who wrote eat pray love has decided she's now a lesbian. Apparently the sequel to eat pray love will be eat pray love me some pussy now.

Damn it! That book or movie or whatever the fuck it was, got me laid by some pretty hot divorcees.
Posted by: Fritz at September 07, 2016 06:08 PM (HVQlX)


Well now you can try taking a couple of them into a threesome.

Posted by: Buzzion at September 07, 2016 06:10 PM (z/Ubi)

268 Nishikori just beat Murray in 5 sets. Wow, what a match.

Posted by: OregonMuse at September 07, 2016 06:10 PM (AfPeg)

269 Funny that. My mind always want to scan the book title as " Eat, Pay, Love".

Posted by: tubal at September 07, 2016 06:10 PM (mHL0c)

270 Well, when I get someone who is puttering along in the left lane, it's usually a woman.
So at least some women are inferior drivers.

Posted by: Tilikum KAW at September 07, 2016 06:10 PM (uhftQ)

271 I look through telescopes and shit.

Posted by: Neil DeGrease Tyson at September 07, 2016 06:10 PM (4ErVI)

272 Well just dipping back in for a sec, but I can't focus on Dyson Tyson whoever that is, cuz I can't stop thinking about Mr. Macca Bean having the Stanley Cup in his kitchen.


Dayum.


That sort of trumps any other brush-with-greatness I can think of. And I've had a few myself.


About Gurkhas, from the side-bar. For half of my govt.-sponsored vacation overseas, they were the security at the compound (contract basis - leaders were actual ex-officers from the Gurkha battalion, I believe). They were small, very friendly, and giggled a lot. And they wore their kukri knives.


I believe the Brits did psycho warfare on the Argies back in that little '82 misunderstanding, with rumors that the Gurkhas were being deployed to the Falklands.

Posted by: rhomboid at September 07, 2016 06:11 PM (QDnY+)

273 >> Damn it! That book or movie or whatever the fuck
>> it was, got me laid by some pretty hot divorcees.

Y'know, it's funny, but the single most memorable such experience of my life probably came immediately after watching 'The Chicken Chronicles' on HBO.

A very long time ago, but there are certain things you remember.

Posted by: SMOD 2016, the mystery meteor at September 07, 2016 06:11 PM (TppKb)

274 Eat, Pray, Goat was always one of my favorites.

Posted by: Achmed at September 07, 2016 06:11 PM (BO/km)

275 Drunk Tweeting?

Posted by: Mellow at September 07, 2016 06:12 PM (OQY7D)

276 Fact:.after having a shifty Fay surrounded by assholes I loathe, the first thing I read on the interenet is NdGT tweeting science for 5year olds. Worse is the number of people who liked And retweeted such idiocy.

Fuck him in his vagina face.

Posted by: Pepe, founder of the fn-right at September 07, 2016 06:12 PM (Xa+bj)

277 Neil DeGrasse Tyson is to science as Barack Hussein Obama is to presidentin'.

Posted by: Jane D'oh at September 07, 2016 06:12 PM (1ZOkK)

278 FACT: Obama loves to go to other "superior" countries and trash Americans, 'cause he can.

Posted by: washrivergal at September 07, 2016 06:13 PM (CFc5L)

279 269 Funny that. My mind always want to scan the book title as " Eat, Pay, Love".

Posted by: tubal at September 07, 2016 06:10 PM (mHL0c)


Remember money can't buy love but it can something that looks and acts just like it.

Posted by: Goomba 'wants a Jerkey thread so bad he can taste it.' at September 07, 2016 06:13 PM (pERRc)

280 Dunno, buzzion. Here you've been dead what, six months or more? And people still talk about you.

Posted by: rhomboid at September 07, 2016 06:13 PM (QDnY+)

281 Now, that's an entertaining sockfail.

Posted by: JEM at September 07, 2016 06:13 PM (TppKb)

282 "Eat, Pray, Eat, Eat, Eat, Oh, hey, I'm a Lesbian"

Posted by: Mr. Peebles at September 07, 2016 06:13 PM (mL2BD)

283 Fact: In laymans terms Lightspeed is how fast you can run in sneakers, which is much faster than running in boots. Science!

Posted by: NG(Keds)Tyson at September 07, 2016 06:13 PM (geNHc)

284 NdGT hasn't counted my teeth. Still got all four wisdoms, I do.

Posted by: scovilleunit at September 07, 2016 06:13 PM (hWh8W)

285 276 Fact:.after having a shifty Fay surrounded by assholes I loathe, the first thing I read on the interenet is NdGT tweeting science for 5year olds. Worse is the number of people who liked And retweeted such idiocy.

Fuck him in his vagina face.

Posted by: Pepe, founder of the fn-right at September 07, 2016 06:12 PM (Xa+bj)


98% of them are White SJWs because black science man.

Posted by: Dack Thrombosis at September 07, 2016 06:13 PM (4ErVI)

286 According to news media, a large meteor is going to pass close by the Earth in a week. And just after that, another one, even bigger; one that was only discovered a week ago.

So you have to ask, where are these things coming from?

Has Tyson seen the meteor?

Posted by: Knapping Man at September 07, 2016 06:13 PM (DFIly)

287 271 I look through telescopes and shit.

Posted by: Neil DeGrease Tyson at September 07, 2016 06:10 PM (4ErVI)


What is it that you're seeing in the telescope that's causing you to defecate?

Posted by: OregonMuse at September 07, 2016 06:13 PM (AfPeg)

288 'Well just dipping back in for a sec, but I can't focus on Dyson Tyson whoever that is, cuz I can't stop thinking about Mr. Macca Bean having the Stanley Cup in his kitchen.'


Pfft. I've got a painting of Billy Carter's horse in the hallway upstairs.

Posted by: freaked at September 07, 2016 06:13 PM (BO/km)

289 Big T storms in Fargo now

Posted by: Yo! at September 07, 2016 06:14 PM (uPt3V)

290 Fact: Tweeting facts that every 5 year old knows proves you are a fraud.

Posted by: Pepe, founder of the fn-right at September 07, 2016 06:14 PM (Xa+bj)

291 277 Neil DeGrasse Tyson is to science as Barack Hussein Obama is to presidentin' science.
Posted by: Jane D'oh at September 07, 2016 06:12 PM (1ZOkK)



FTFY

Posted by: buzzion at September 07, 2016 06:14 PM (z/Ubi)

292 I was reading a blogger the other day and she wondered if NDT "wasn't too smart for Twitter", after reading one of his deep as a puddle tweets....

Posted by: Ktgreat at September 07, 2016 06:14 PM (Bl4dy)

293 286
According to news media, a large meteor is going to pass close by the
Earth in a week. And just after that, another one, even bigger; one that
was only discovered a week ago.



So you have to ask, where are these things coming from?



And why do they keep missing us? SMOD, please.

Posted by: Jane D'oh at September 07, 2016 06:14 PM (1ZOkK)

294
What is it that you're seeing in the telescope that's causing you to defecate?
Posted by: OregonMuse at September 07, 2016 06:13 PM (AfPeg)


His neighbor getting undressed

Posted by: Flawless Male Logic at September 07, 2016 06:15 PM (lKyWE)

295 And I wouldn't even know who NdGT is, except for this blog.

Posted by: scovilleunit at September 07, 2016 06:15 PM (hWh8W)

296 Sometimes, in the evening, I stare up into the great big cosmos and wonder, "Where did I leave my hair pick? It was just in my back pocket, but now it's missing"

Posted by: Neil DeGrasse Tyson at September 07, 2016 06:15 PM (NbTeC)

297 Eat, Pray, Eat, Eat, Eat, Oh, hey, I'm a Lesbian"
Posted by: Mr. Peebles at September 07, 2016 06:13 PM (mL2BD)

And off to buy those +++ size men's style " slacks". And the big-assed wrist watch.

Posted by: tubal at September 07, 2016 06:15 PM (mHL0c)

298 277 Neil DeGrasse Tyson is to science as Barack Hussein Obama is to presidentin'.
Posted by: Jane D'oh at September 07, 2016 06:12 PM (1ZOkK)


Progressives: Replacing Real Achievement With Fake Achievement Since 1793.

Posted by: OregonMuse at September 07, 2016 06:15 PM (AfPeg)

299 were actual ex-officers from the Gurkha battalion
---------------------
Those tiny see pickles? Weird. I always thought that the spicy dill pickles were the badasses.

Posted by: Chi at September 07, 2016 06:15 PM (QnDgl)

300 Fact: Gravity is a mysterious force that causes us to stick to the Earth, like flies on a wall.

Posted by: AGeorge Orwell's Ghost at September 07, 2016 06:15 PM (VPvxh)

301 That would be a really big shoe.
Posted by: zombie Ed Sullivan at September 07, 2016 06:07 PM


LOL!

Posted by: Duncanthrax at September 07, 2016 06:15 PM (2BiKh)

302 Chlorine gas being used in Syria,
SCIENCE,

Posted by: Skip at September 07, 2016 06:16 PM (0G2eQ)

303
FACT: Silly Putty is neither silly nor putty.

Posted by: naturalfake at September 07, 2016 06:16 PM (0cMkb)

304 286 According to news media, a large meteor is going to pass close by the Earth in a week. And just after that, another one, even bigger; one that was only discovered a week ago.

So you have to ask, where are these things coming from?

Has Tyson seen the meteor?
Posted by: Knapping Man at September 07, 2016 06:13 PM (DFIly


ATC is preparing a feast and bathing in sweet perfumed water.

Posted by: Goomba 'wants a Jerkey thread so bad he can taste it.' at September 07, 2016 06:16 PM (pERRc)

305 Chi ....


Paging Dr. Muldoon, paging Dr. Muldoon .....

Posted by: rhomboid at September 07, 2016 06:16 PM (QDnY+)

306 297 Eat, Pray, Eat, Eat, Eat, Oh, hey, I'm a Lesbian"

Posted by: Mr. Peebles at September 07, 2016 06:13 PM (mL2BD)

And off to buy those +++ size men's style " slacks". And the big-assed wrist watch.
Posted by: tubal at September 07, 2016 06:15 PM (mHL0c)


Don't forget a matched set of flannel shirts.

Posted by: OregonMuse at September 07, 2016 06:16 PM (AfPeg)

307 Fact: Tomorrow, NDT will still be a self important dumbass.

Posted by: AGeorge Orwell's Ghost at September 07, 2016 06:17 PM (VPvxh)

308 292 I was reading a blogger the other day and she wondered if NDT "wasn't too smart for Twitter", after reading one of his deep as a puddle tweets....

Posted by: Ktgreat at September 07, 2016 06:14 PM (Bl4dy)

I knew it, he probably has a big following. There are plenty of dopes who believe that he is super-genius level smart.

Posted by: washrivergal at September 07, 2016 06:17 PM (CFc5L)

309 Is this guy bold because he's black? Are his hands up? Can he breathe? Why is he not gaining traction with urban yutes? Can he even get down? Not go down, of that we can have no doubt.

Posted by: Eromero at September 07, 2016 06:17 PM (zLDYs)

310 303
FACT: Silly Putty is neither silly nor putty.

Posted by: naturalfake at September 07, 2016 06:16 PM (0cMkb)


Huh...I'll be pondering that over a drink tonight.

Posted by: Goomba 'wants a Jerkey thread so bad he can taste it.' at September 07, 2016 06:17 PM (pERRc)

311 NGT is an ass, but if you really want to contend for the title, check out Comey's new tack regarding the Hillary investigation:

"At
the end of the day, the case itself was not a cliff-hanger; despite all
the chest-beating by people no longer in government, there really
wasn't a prosecutable case," he said in the memo."

--

Bullshit. Anyone who reads the memo and who knows the case should have a good faith belief that Hillary committed prosecutable offenses.

Posted by: Revenant at September 07, 2016 06:17 PM (3DSAh)

312 >> Chlorine gas being used in Syria,
>> SCIENCE,

Hey, climate-science believers! We're gonna do a little experiment to demonstrate how the atmosphere can change to the detriment of mankind!

You'll need a bottle of chlorine bleach, and a bottle of ammonia...

Posted by: JEM at September 07, 2016 06:18 PM (TppKb)

313 I was reading a blogger the other day and she wondered if NDT "wasn't
too smart for Twitter", after reading one of his deep as a puddle
tweets....


My aforementioned dog is too smart for Twitter. That still leaves half the human population who aren't though, and my dog isn't very smart as dogs go.

Posted by: pep at September 07, 2016 06:18 PM (LAe3v)

314 Fact: Ice floats in water. How weird is that shit?

Posted by: AGeorge Orwell's Ghost at September 07, 2016 06:18 PM (VPvxh)

315 FACT: If our universe did not include time, everything would happen all at once.

Posted by: Cicero (@cicero) at September 07, 2016 06:18 PM (8ZskC)

316 >> Bullshit. Anyone who reads the memo and who
>> knows the case should have a good faith belief that
>> Hillary committed prosecutable offenses.

As President I'd have Comey locked up immediately, and if he wants to peach to who got to him, great. Otherwise, I'd expend vast sums to put him away forever.

That shitheel's worse than Hillary.

Posted by: JEM at September 07, 2016 06:19 PM (TppKb)

317 Bullshit. Anyone who reads the memo and who knows the case should have a good faith belief that Hillary committed prosecutable offenses.

Posted by: Revenant at September 07, 2016 06:17 PM (3DSAh)


Yeah. Comey is just doing The Big Lie. Standard procedure for our Fascist Government.

Posted by: tubal at September 07, 2016 06:19 PM (mHL0c)

318
FACT: Quarks have funny names designating their qualities like Strange, Charm, and Diarrhea Squirt Gun.

Posted by: naturalfake at September 07, 2016 06:20 PM (0cMkb)

319 Neil DeGrasse Tyson is to science as Barack Hussein Obama is to presidentin' science.
Posted by: Jane D'oh at September 07, 2016 06:12 PM

FTFY
Posted by: buzzion at September 07, 2016 06:14 PM


But I was told the science is settled!

Posted by: Uncle Joe Biden at September 07, 2016 06:20 PM (2BiKh)

320 When planet X comes back around in it's orbit, it will cause another Ice Age just like it does every time. Why aren't they teaching these science facts in schools?

Posted by: Tinfoilbaby at September 07, 2016 06:20 PM (6Ll1u)

321 I once knew a man from Nantucket,
He had a cock, but he'd always tuck it.
Became an NPR hero,
though he knew nearly zero.
When he planet-shamed Pluto,
I said Fuck It.

Posted by: Lincolntf at September 07, 2016 06:20 PM (2cS/G)

322 Fact: If you collected all the magnets in the world and made a giant pile...um...I bet some sort of weird magnetic shit would happen. Like compasses would spin around all crazy like.

Posted by: AGeorge Orwell's Ghost at September 07, 2016 06:20 PM (VPvxh)

323 268
Nishikori just beat Murray in 5 sets. Wow, what a match.


Posted by: OregonMuse at September 07, 2016 06:10 PM (AfPeg)
That was a pretty damn good match - happy for Nishikori; his time to shine.

Posted by: IC at September 07, 2016 06:21 PM (a0IVu)

324 318
FACT: Quarks have funny names designating their qualities like Strange, Charm, and Diarrhea Squirt Gun.

Posted by: naturalfake at September 07, 2016 06:20 PM (0cMkb)


Made me laugh.

Posted by: tubal at September 07, 2016 06:21 PM (mHL0c)

325 Fact: I had a triple meat sub at Subway today.

Posted by: George Orwell's Ghost at September 07, 2016 06:22 PM (VPvxh)

326 Comey isn't just a small, stupid, disgraceful failure, he's an arrogant little twit, huh?


Some lawyer with patience should assemble/categorize the obvious, must-have-occurred serious violations of law with respect to the Public Records Act and the Espionage Act that are represented by publicly known facts.


Classified info out of allowed channels/locations everywhere you look, every bit of it transferred in felonious acts every time it happened, records and emails destroyed (with obvious intent to avoid investigation - BleachBit, excuse me??) contrary to long-held practice and well-known laws.


And no prosecutable case? You little worm, Comey, show me a single successfully prosecuted case in the last 20 years that was half as outrageous and slam-dunk as this multi-faceted case is, based on basic publicly known facts alone.

Posted by: rhomboid at September 07, 2016 06:22 PM (QDnY+)

327 Brian Dennehy, who played a star in such classic movies and series as Solaris, Event Horizon and The Expanse, just e mailed to say:

"NdT, you are to science as Barack Hussein Obama is to presidents. That's not a compliment, Dumbass."

Posted by: Sharkman at September 07, 2016 06:22 PM (9KfYY)

328 >>The chick who wrote eat pray love has decided she's now a lesbian.
Apparently the sequel to eat pray love will be eat pray love me some
pussy now.


Somehow that seems exactly right.
Wonder id she got a publishing deal for this epiphany before she went 'all in' like her eat pray love book?

Posted by: Lizzy at September 07, 2016 06:22 PM (NOIQH)

329 I was told there would be no math.

Posted by: Neil DeGrasse Tyson in his first Astrophysics class at September 07, 2016 06:23 PM (NbTeC)

330 FACT: The observable universe isn't observable by you, rube.

Posted by: Cicero (@cicero) at September 07, 2016 06:23 PM (8ZskC)

331 Anyone who reads the memo and who knows the case should have a good faith belief that Hillary committed prosecutable offenses.

Posted by: Revenant
________

A prosecutable case means all the jurors will live long enough to reach a verdict. So maybe Comey's right.

Posted by: FireHorse at September 07, 2016 06:23 PM (lh7g2)

332 Anyone who reads the memo and who knows the case should have a good faith belief that Hillary committed prosecutable offenses.

Posted by: Revenant
________

A prosecutable case means all the jurors will live long enough to reach a verdict. So maybe Comey's right.

Posted by: FireHorse at September 07, 2016 06:23 PM (lh7g2)

333 Put a a tab of alka seltzer in a coke or something and shit gets real.

I think it's coke.

Posted by: Goomba 'wants a Jerkey thread so bad he can taste it.' at September 07, 2016 06:23 PM (pERRc)

334 einstein also observed women's brains were smaller than men's and attributed that to the predominance of men in science.

of course, as we all know it is because mens' brains are bigger than womyns'.

Posted by: musical jolly chimp at September 07, 2016 06:23 PM (WTSFk)

335 FACT: If Neil deGrasse Tyson were a white guy, even the libs wouldn't care who he is.

Posted by: Mr. Peebles at September 07, 2016 06:23 PM (mL2BD)

336 >> Like compasses would spin around all crazy like.

Or maybe CNN would be honest.

About three seconds before I demonstrate the permeability of the Earth atmosphere.

Heh.

Posted by: SMOD Soon, or Sooner, or Soonest at September 07, 2016 06:24 PM (TppKb)

337 FACT: A ukulele on the moon wouldn't make any noise when you dropped it. Not even a funny bong sound.

Posted by: George Orwell's Ghost at September 07, 2016 06:24 PM (VPvxh)

338 Didn't Neil deGrasse Tyson invent the Range-fed Chicken?

Posted by: bergerbilder at September 07, 2016 06:24 PM (27WlQ)

339 >>>314 Fact: Ice floats in water. How weird is that shit?


Fact: And when the ice melts, your glass overflows.

Posted by: HH at September 07, 2016 06:24 PM (DrCtv)

340 Fact: The New Horizons spacecraft proved Pluto is made from Hawaiian shaved ice. So, definitely not a planet.

Posted by: George Orwell's Ghost at September 07, 2016 06:24 PM (VPvxh)

341 So then riddle me this Einstein,. Why is Ms. Goombas head bigger than mine?

I'm tired of her line. Big barn for a big tractor...she from MN.

Posted by: Goomba 'wants a Jerkey thread so bad he can taste it.' at September 07, 2016 06:25 PM (pERRc)

342 FACT: The atomic symbol of carbon is C. That is because there is a lot of carbon in sea water due to global warming.

Posted by: chemjeff at September 07, 2016 06:25 PM (+4mdw)

343 328 >>
Somehow that seems exactly right.
Wonder id she got a publishing deal for this epiphany before she went 'all in' like her eat pray love book?
Posted by: Lizzy at September 07, 2016 06:22 PM (NOIQH)



Didn't they make a movie out of the book? With that funny looking actress?
Was she a lesbian in it?
Or did she have some major malfunction?

Posted by: tubal at September 07, 2016 06:25 PM (mHL0c)

344 In 5-billion yrs the Sun will expand engulf our orbit as the charred ember that was once Earth vaporizes.

Posted by: Amy Schumer at September 07, 2016 06:25 PM (ywQ/K)

345 "If you're in the United States, sometimes you can feel lazy and think we're so big we don't have to really know anything about other people."

Posted by: As a boy, Barack Obama Sr. tended goats and walked to school barefootl at September 07, 2016 06:25 PM (BO/km)

346 Fact: NDG was going to call himself "the science guy" but that name was taken by engineer Bill Nye. Which is like, total bullshit.

Posted by: George Orwell's Ghost at September 07, 2016 06:26 PM (VPvxh)

347 FACT: Someone once filmed a movie using a shaky camera. Then the rest of cinematographers of the world thought this was incredibly awesome.

Posted by: washrivergal at September 07, 2016 06:26 PM (CFc5L)

348 FACT: The AE-35 unit will go 100% failure within 72 hours.

Posted by: HAL at September 07, 2016 06:26 PM (8ZskC)

349 You mean like the giant vacuum in Spaceballs?

Posted by: Emily Litella at September 07, 2016 06:26 PM (LMcFk)

350 >> FACT: A ukulele on the moon wouldn't make any
>> noise when you dropped it. Not even a funny bong
>> sound.

You mean there's not enough atmosphere out there to even make, like, a ukelele noise when I go by? For shame. That's embarrassing.

Posted by: SMOD, that fly-by ain't a B-2 ladies and gentlemen at September 07, 2016 06:27 PM (TppKb)

351 Toilets below the Equator flush up...and make quite a nasty mess I'd say.

Posted by: Goomba 'wants a Jerkey thread so bad he can taste it.' at September 07, 2016 06:27 PM (pERRc)

352 If the Octopus had six legs, it would be called a Sextopus. And the right wing would ban them!

Posted by: Neil Degrasse Tyson at September 07, 2016 06:27 PM (2cS/G)

353 FACT: A photon does not experience time at all, while Madonna experiences it at twice its normal speed.

Posted by: Cicero (@cicero) at September 07, 2016 06:28 PM (8ZskC)

354 There's an old joke about that. Prof explains the Sun will become a red giant in 5 billion years. Student freaks out. Prof says 5 billion years is a very long time. Student says, oh you said 5 billion. I thought you said 5 *million*. Wheeww.

Posted by: publius (not Breitbart publius) at September 07, 2016 06:28 PM (DW+jj)

355 Assange dumps thousands of cables from Hillary denoting "C" for classified/confidential which she claims not to know what it stood for.

Posted by: Malcolm Tent at September 07, 2016 06:28 PM (FHIrg)

356 FACT: Someone once filmed a movie using a shaky camera. Then the rest of cinematographers of the world thought this was incredibly awesome.
Posted by: washrivergal at September 07, 2016 06:26 PM (CFc5L)

Fact: I would like to kill whoever thought that was "art" except I'm not that kind of guy.

Posted by: tubal at September 07, 2016 06:28 PM (mHL0c)

357 FACT: Some people do not know who I am

Posted by: Neal DeGasbag Tyson at September 07, 2016 06:28 PM (qJhUV)

358 In 5 billion years nearly anything might happen. *bok, bok*

Posted by: Neil Tyson deChicken at September 07, 2016 06:28 PM (Tyii7)

359 FACT: We are having a sale at the gift shop for the planetarium...all solar system mobiles are now 20% off!

Posted by: George Orwell's Ghost at September 07, 2016 06:29 PM (VPvxh)

360 'If the Octopus had six legs, it would be called a Sextopus. And the right wing would ban them!'


We for one welcome our Sextopus overlords.

Posted by: Japan at September 07, 2016 06:29 PM (BO/km)

361
They couldn't convict O.J.
They can't convict Hillary.

ipso facto

Posted by: Knapping Man at September 07, 2016 06:29 PM (DFIly)

362


That was delightful. Like sitting in a cool cup of applesauce

Posted by: ThunderB at September 07, 2016 06:29 PM (wpKFM)

363 >> In 5-billion yrs the Sun will expand engulf our orbit
>> as the charred ember that was once Earth
>> vaporizes.

And the only thing left will be termites and unisex bathrooms, or so I'm told.

Posted by: SMOD, in space no one can hear you gender-identify at September 07, 2016 06:29 PM (TppKb)

364
Fact:
IT'S A TRAP!

Posted by: Admiral Ackbar at September 07, 2016 06:29 PM (yfObW)

365 I thought the "c" stood for comrade.

Posted by: Ready For Hillary!!11!! at September 07, 2016 06:29 PM (Tyii7)

366 Fact: A blackhole is like a puckering sphincter to another dimension of space and time and dark matter

Either The Horde is enamored of Ms. Solo, or meme escape velocity has not been reached.

Posted by: Duncanthrax at September 07, 2016 06:30 PM (2BiKh)

367 You, too, can be a Thought Leader.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_ZBKX-6Gz6A

Posted by: Anonosaurus Wrecks, Now With More Je Ne Sais Quoi! at September 07, 2016 06:30 PM (Nwg0u)

368 In 5-billion yrs the Sun will expand & engulf our orbit as the charred ember that was once Earth vaporizes.

Or we will have moved it to orbit Jupiter.

Posted by: Grump928(C) says Free Soothie! at September 07, 2016 06:30 PM (rwI+c)

369 And the only thing left will be termites and unisex bathrooms

ahem

Posted by: Keith Richards at September 07, 2016 06:30 PM (Tyii7)

370 I think some of these old Jack Handey's Deep Thoughts could be repurposed as NdGT's "wisdom". Such as:

"I think people tend to forget that trees are living creatures. They're sort of like dogs. Huge, quiet, motionless dogs, with bark instead of fur.

"If I ever do a book on the Amazon, I hope I am able to bring a lightheartedness to the subject, in a way that tell the reader we are going to have fun with this thing.

"To me, truth is not some vague, foggy notion. Truth is real. And, at the same time, unreal. Fiction and fact and everything in between, plus some things I can't remember, all rolled into one big 'thing'. This is truth, to me.

"When the age of the Vikings came to a close, they must have sensed it. Probably, the gathered together one evening, slapped each other on the back and said, "Hey, good job."

"I think somebody should come up with a way to breed a very large shrimp. That way, you could ride him, then after you camped at night, you could eat him. How about it, science?

"Contrary to what most people say, the most dangerous animal in the world
is not the lion or the tiger or even the elephant. It's a shark riding
on an elephant's back, just trampling and eating everything they see.

"Perhaps, if I am very lucky, the feeble efforts of my lifetime will
someday be noticed, and maybe, in some small way, they will be
acknowledged as the greatest works of genius ever created by Man."

Posted by: OregonMuse at September 07, 2016 06:31 PM (AfPeg)

371 Fact: Octomom somehow found enough sperm donors to have a sequential litter that we will pay for until the Earth becomes a cinder.

Posted by: tubal at September 07, 2016 06:31 PM (mHL0c)

372

I have the sense something batshit is about to occur


A shitstorm of oppo research

Posted by: ThunderB at September 07, 2016 06:31 PM (wpKFM)

373 FACT: If there was a highway that followed the equator and you drove west to east at a rate equal to the speed of the rotation of the Earth, you would eventually run out of fuel.

Posted by: Cicero (@cicero) at September 07, 2016 06:31 PM (8ZskC)

374 Fact: you can hit the Jump to top of page button and then hit the Jump to bottom of page like to infinity...if you don't throw up first.

Posted by: Goomba 'wants a Jerkey thread so bad he can taste it.' at September 07, 2016 06:32 PM (pERRc)

375 >> Either The Horde is enamored of Ms. Solo, or meme
>> escape velocity has not been reached.

Target locked in and ready for entry. Purell sprayers activated.

Posted by: SMOD can hit that thing at September 07, 2016 06:32 PM (TppKb)

376 NDT is the Lysenko of his day....just darker and dumber.

Rocket Fuel Malt Liqour......Damn!

Posted by: Hairyback Guy at September 07, 2016 06:32 PM (ej1L0)

377 fun fact: Mugabe says that Obola should prove he's not the son of a whore...

http://vesselnews.io/mugabe-obama-prove-hes-not-son-whore/

Posted by: redc1c4 at September 07, 2016 06:32 PM (ztENr)

378 A shitstorm of oppo research
Posted by: ThunderB at September 07, 2016 06:31 PM (wpKFM)

I too, sense a disturbance in the force. An August 1914 sort of disturbance.

Posted by: tubal at September 07, 2016 06:33 PM (mHL0c)

379 In 500 years it will be illegal for dumb guys to make money using smart guy credentials, even if they are a "minority".

or maybe we go the idocracy route ... or a meteor takes earth out of its current orbit, and puts humans out of their Hillamisery.

Posted by: illiniwek at September 07, 2016 06:33 PM (ZRaCn)

380
328
>>The chick who wrote eat pray love has decided she's now a lesbian.

Apparently the sequel to eat pray love will be eat pray love me some

pussy now.


Somehow that seems exactly right.
Wonder id she got a publishing deal for this epiphany before she went 'all in' like her eat pray love book?


Posted by: Lizzy at September 07, 2016 06:22 PM (NOIQH)







Isn't she the one who kicked her husband to the curb so she could slut around the world for a year, then expected everyone to buy her book and praise her for spreading her legs for every bo-hunk in Europe?

Posted by: IllTemperedCur at September 07, 2016 06:33 PM (LuZz8)

381 People say "eat a bag of dicks" to me all the time, but none of them are willing to do it themselves.

Posted by: Neil Degrasse Tyson at September 07, 2016 06:33 PM (2cS/G)

382 They are having a 50th Star Trek anniversary on METV this weekend, who would buy a green alien sexbot?

Posted by: Tinfoilbaby at September 07, 2016 06:33 PM (6Ll1u)

383 >> Posted by: Keith Richards

If you're in Hope Solo's ass then you're probably dead. Otherwise, yeah, you might make it.

Posted by: SMOD 2016 what you think we can do EVERYTHING? at September 07, 2016 06:33 PM (TppKb)

384 rhomboid: "And no prosecutable case? You little worm, Comey, show me a single successfully prosecuted case in the last 20 years that was half as outrageous and slam-dunk as this multi-faceted case is, based on basic publicly known facts alone."

What does Team Clinton and its hundreds of millions $US have on Comey to make him such a stooge? I truly wonder because no rational or honest person looks at this evidence and the timelines collected (nevermind that which was purposefully destroyed) and concludes no justifiable case. No. One.

And, yes, Comey should be investigated for his mismanagement. And the DOJ could use a good fumigation if not a sterilization.

Posted by: AnonymousDrivel at September 07, 2016 06:34 PM (1CroS)

385 Target locked in and ready for entry. Purell sprayers activated.


Cover me, Porkins. I'm going in.

Posted by: Grump928(C) says Free Soothie! at September 07, 2016 06:34 PM (rwI+c)

386 Another in the ever growing list of people that I wish I had never heard of.

Posted by: tu3031 at September 07, 2016 06:34 PM (qJhUV)

387 Dont blame the bohunks

Posted by: ThunderB at September 07, 2016 06:34 PM (wpKFM)

388 Earth-vaporizing sun will kill unarmed, black males.

FACT: The Sun is racist.

Posted by: Malcolm Tent at September 07, 2016 06:35 PM (FHIrg)

389 If you're in Hope Solo's ass then you're probably dead. Otherwise, yeah, you might make it.
Posted by: SMOD 2016 what you think we can do EVERYTHING? at September 07, 2016 06:33 PM (TppKb)

Yeah, betting that cooter is bad, talking Mordor bad.

Posted by: tubal at September 07, 2016 06:35 PM (mHL0c)

390 FACT: Neil deGreasy Tyson is a dumb person's idea of a smart person.

Posted by: Mr. Peebles at September 07, 2016 06:35 PM (mL2BD)

391 381 People say "eat a bag of dicks" to me all the time, but none of them are willing to do it themselves.
Posted by: Neil Degrasse Tyson at September 07, 2016 06:33 PM (2cS/G)

Nice. Almost laugh choked on my beef Jerkey.

Wait that didn't sound right.

Posted by: Goomba 'wants a Jerkey thread so bad he can taste it.' at September 07, 2016 06:35 PM (pERRc)

392 >>>Fact: Ice floats in water. How weird is that shit?<<<

Fact: Mass sinks in gravity. Light sources.

Posted by: Fritz at September 07, 2016 06:35 PM (HVQlX)

393 Cover me, Porkins. I'm going in.

It's a trap!

Posted by: Admiral Dingleberry at September 07, 2016 06:35 PM (Tyii7)

394 >> Obola should prove he's not the son of a whore...

That's a little like proving climate change is really happening, in'nt it?

Posted by: JEM at September 07, 2016 06:36 PM (TppKb)

395 Cut the guy some slack. His bigger and more eloquent brother Mike probably kicked his ass every day. And that gift shop don't stock itself, you know! Still trying to move those inflatable Pluto globes with floppy black ears he went long on...

Posted by: Ray Van Dune at September 07, 2016 06:36 PM (Xwrt2)

396 Or we will have moved it to orbit Jupiter.
Posted by: Grump928(C) says Free Soothie! at September 07, 2016 06:30 PM (rwI+c)

Well, in 7 billion years, the Sun will collapse into a white dwarf. Nothing will survive.

Posted by: MrX at September 07, 2016 06:36 PM (i5s+r)

397 I predict hillarys horfs will hurl hundreds of hateful harbingers of hell at Trump. And then a wiki dump on the frump

Posted by: ThunderB at September 07, 2016 06:37 PM (wpKFM)

398 Jeebus, check out that Federalist page with the quotes from the disgraceful statements of the idiot affirmative action non-entity president while in Laos.


(thanks #345 for pointing it out)


This ignorant, unworldly, uninteresting disaster who thinks Austrian is a language and lacks the intelligence or discipline to learn any foreign language himself, and who knows less of the world than I did at age 15, slanders Americans for their laziness and ignorance?


I've said it before, I don't think the country ever recovers from the self-degradation that both permitted, and resulted from, the election of this absurd figure to the formerly most important post in the world.


Would be nice if that horrible, scary, dangerous and uncouth tycoon running for president would bitch-slap this vile embarrassment of a president, publicly, even profanely, on precisely this sort of thing. It's the sort of thing that resonates with many voters of many stripes.

Posted by: rhomboid at September 07, 2016 06:37 PM (QDnY+)

399 Hairyback Guy: "Rocket Fuel Malt Liqour......Damn!"

Ahhh, memories. Loved Phil Hartman.

Posted by: AnonymousDrivel at September 07, 2016 06:37 PM (1CroS)

400 390 FACT: Neil deGreasy Tyson is a dumb person's idea of a smart person.

Posted by: Mr. Peebles at September 07, 2016 06:35 PM (mL2BD)


Lol. Stealing that line to use generally, about...well lots of people.

Posted by: Goomba 'wants a Jerkey thread so bad he can taste it.' at September 07, 2016 06:37 PM (pERRc)

401 was once Earth vaporizes.

Or we will have moved it to orbit Jupiter.


BECAUSE JUPITER IS COOL UNLIKE URANUS.

Posted by: Ben Roethlisberger Stands at September 07, 2016 06:38 PM (8J/Te)

402 If matter is tightly bound energy then isn't the whole universe a BDSM farce?

Posted by: Bandersnatch at September 07, 2016 06:38 PM (mgbwf)

403

Bah, that sun expanding and collapseing is all just theory. Wake me up when it happens. I wanna see it.

Posted by: Knapping Man at September 07, 2016 06:38 PM (DFIly)

404 If you're in Hope Solo's ass then you're probably dead. Otherwise, yeah, you might make it.
Posted by: SMOD 2016 what you think we can do EVERYTHING? at September 07, 2016 06:33 PM (TppKb)

Oh yeah! Hope Solo, me and a razor.....heaven.

Rocket Fuel Malt Liquor.......Damn!

Posted by: Hairyback Guy at September 07, 2016 06:38 PM (ej1L0)

405 >> Yeah, betting that cooter is bad, talking Mordor
>> bad.

No, I'm told it's actually pretty sweet in there. Not at all like something out of a South Park video game.

Posted by: SMOD 2016 - The Detonation at September 07, 2016 06:39 PM (TppKb)

406 FACT: Arby's designed their iconic hat logo to look like Hope Solo's clitoris.

Posted by: wooga at September 07, 2016 06:39 PM (UIIdr)

407
Earth-vaporizing sun will kill unarmed, black males.
FACT: The Sun is racist.


There will finally be equality. Everyone will be black.

Posted by: Bertram Cabot Jr. at September 07, 2016 06:39 PM (IqV8l)

408 Sun Expands, Earth Vaporized
Women, Minorities Hardest Hit

Posted by: The New York Fucking Times at September 07, 2016 06:39 PM (qJhUV)

409 Fact: Frank Perdue made a lousy fryer.

Posted by: Neil Tyson deChicken at September 07, 2016 06:40 PM (Tyii7)

410 397 I predict hillarys horfs will hurl hundreds of hateful harbingers of hell at Trump. And then a wiki dump on the frump
Posted by: ThunderB at September 07, 2016 06:37 PM (wpKFM)


I laughed when Megyn Kelly had Assange on and asked him if he also had anything on Trump.
Assange said "a few things, but nothing he hasn't already said publicly".

Posted by: jwb7605 at September 07, 2016 06:40 PM (DofIg)

411 FACT: Chloroform is not the same as chlorophyll. You can't make someone go unconscious by holding leaves in their face.

Posted by: FireHorse at September 07, 2016 06:40 PM (lh7g2)

412 The chicken came before the egg.

Posted by: Neil Tyson deChicken at September 07, 2016 06:41 PM (Tyii7)

413 Hairyback Guy: "Rocket Fuel Malt Liqour......Damn!"

Ahhh, memories. Loved Phil Hartman.
Posted by: AnonymousDrivel at September 07, 2016 06:37 PM (1CroS)

I can't take credit...another wise poster here reminded me of it. Gone to soon Phil was.
Too funny!
RIP Phil.......Damn!

Posted by: Hairyback Guy at September 07, 2016 06:42 PM (ej1L0)

414 You can't make someone go unconscious by holding leaves in their face.







Yes you can, if you hold them tight enough. So I've been told.

Posted by: Knapping Man at September 07, 2016 06:42 PM (DFIly)

415 "engulf our orbit". The use of language is slightly off, tipping you off to the fact that the man is a moron. Orbits are immaterial things, hence cannot be engulfed. It's the Earth that would be engulfed.

Posted by: Yuimetal at September 07, 2016 06:42 PM (g6yUI)

416 as the charred ember that was once Earth vaporizes.

The "charred ember" will still be Earth.

Posted by: ThePrimordialOrderedPair at September 07, 2016 06:42 PM (zc3Db)

417 FACT: Arby's designed their iconic hat logo to look like Hope Solo's clitoris.
Posted by: wooga at September 07, 2016 06:39 PM (UIIdr)

OT, but how desperate would a guy have to be to wear a fucking Burger King Crown, and make a total ass of himself a 100 times a night?
Or, play 1/2 of a faggy couple in a Sonic bit?
Jesus, I'd rather rob Seven Elevens.

Posted by: tubal at September 07, 2016 06:42 PM (mHL0c)

418 FACT: although it's true that bulls defecate, when most people use the term "bullshit," it is with a metaphorical making, suggesting the speaker does not believe something.

Posted by: Sobek at September 07, 2016 06:42 PM (92+Kv)

419 The chick who wrote eat pray love has decided she's now a lesbian.
Apparently the sequel to eat pray love will be eat pray love me some
pussy now.


Somehow that seems exactly right.
Wonder id she got a publishing deal for this epiphany before she went 'all in' like her eat pray love book?

-
I don't know about that but Roger Ailes can sexually harass me for $2M. It's like a bargain.

Posted by: Anonosaurus Wrecks, Now With More Je Ne Sais Quoi! at September 07, 2016 06:42 PM (Nwg0u)

420 Brah, that's some seriously jacked science, brah.

Posted by: Mark Andrew Edwards at September 07, 2016 06:43 PM (6Rgp9)

421 Little known fact, Daily Horoscopes are actually based on science and are all true.

Posted by: Neil DeGrasse Tyson at September 07, 2016 06:44 PM (NbTeC)

422
I can't take credit...another wise poster here reminded me of it. Gone to soon Phil was.

Too funny!

RIP Phil.......Damn!

Posted by: Hairyback Guy at September 07, 2016 06:42 PM (ej1L0)







*bows theatrically*

I'd just watched that episode again the night before.....

Posted by: IllTemperedCur at September 07, 2016 06:45 PM (LuZz8)

423
Well, in 7 billion years, the Sun will collapse into a white dwarf.

So, the Sun will become Billy Barty.

Posted by: Bertram Cabot Jr. at September 07, 2016 06:45 PM (IqV8l)

424 How the hell does someone get a middle name of "DeGrasse"? Is that Neil's maiden name?

Posted by: ThePrimordialOrderedPair at September 07, 2016 06:45 PM (zc3Db)

425 Daily Horoscopes are actually based on science and are all true.

















The one on Yahoo has me pegged. Never been wrong. Not even once.

Posted by: Knapping Man at September 07, 2016 06:46 PM (DFIly)

426 It's not known with certainty if the Sun will engulf Earth in the red giant phase anyway. It will certainly eat up Mercury and Venus (if they're still there). Mass loss of the sun will decrease it's gravitational field and earth's orbit will slowly go higher over that 5 billion years. It might escape being engulfed.

But it's impossible to calculate any of it with certainty. In fact there is a small, but non-zero probability that one of the inner planets might be ejected over that same 5 billion year period.

And complex multi-cellular life will be impossible here in about 1 billions years anyway. As the Sun ages, it's output increases, and by then it will start getting too hot.

A crazy idea (requiring tech for beyond anything we can muster now) is to slowly move the earth away, increasing the orbital radius gradually to compensate.

Posted by: publius (not Breitbart publius) at September 07, 2016 06:46 PM (DW+jj)

427
415
"engulf our orbit". The use of language is slightly off, tipping you off
to the fact that the man is a moron. Orbits are immaterial things,
hence cannot be engulfed. It's the Earth that would be engulfed.

Posted by: Yuimetal at September 07, 2016 06:42 PM (g6yUI)







Perhaps, but wouldn't Jupiter's orbit be considered "engorged" in comparison to Earth's?

Posted by: IllTemperedCur at September 07, 2016 06:46 PM (LuZz8)

428 So, the Sun will become Billy Barty.
Posted by: Bertram Cabot Jr. at September 07, 2016 06:45 PM (IqV8l)

Heh.

Posted by: tubal at September 07, 2016 06:46 PM (mHL0c)

429 NDT is to science what Samantha Bee is to humor.

Posted by: steevy at September 07, 2016 06:47 PM (fA75F)

430 Do you think the descendants of Michael Mann will scream "Finally, hockey stick! Told you!" ?

Posted by: Malcolm Tent at September 07, 2016 06:47 PM (FHIrg)

431 Perhaps, but wouldn't Jupiter's orbit be considered "engorged" in comparison to Earth's?

Posted by: IllTemperedCur

---

Embiggened maybe.

Posted by: RKae at September 07, 2016 06:47 PM (i+OYT)

432 Fact: If you cover your naked body with garlic oil and sulfur it will ward off werewolf attacks during full moons.

Posted by: Neil DeGrasse Tyson at September 07, 2016 06:48 PM (NbTeC)

433 421 Little known fact, Daily Horoscopes are actually based on science and are all true.
Posted by: Neil DeGrasse Tyson at September 07, 2016 06:44 PM (NbTeC)



Also little known is that phrenology is totes scientific. The lumps on your head represent knowledge, and you can always gain more knowledge just by mouthing off to a cop who has a nightstick.

Posted by: Jay Guevara at September 07, 2016 06:48 PM (SRKgf)

434 And complex multi-cellular life will be impossible here in about 1 billions years anyway. As the Sun ages, it's output increases, and by then it will start getting too hot.

Posted by: publius (not Breitbart publius) at September 07, 2016 06:46 PM (DW+jj)


Some like it hot. The pussies will melt away. And "good riddance," I say.

Posted by: ThePrimordialOrderedPair at September 07, 2016 06:48 PM (zc3Db)

435 If there's no lettuce, it's not a salad. Unless you count the mayo-based salads, which are actually more like cold casseroles. #ThingsWhiteAmericaWon'tTeachYou

Posted by: Neil Degrasse Tyson at September 07, 2016 06:49 PM (2cS/G)

436 Fact: If you took all the blood vessels out of an average-sized man and laid them end to end... that man would die.

Posted by: RKae at September 07, 2016 06:49 PM (i+OYT)

437 424 How the hell does someone get a middle name of "DeGrasse"? Is that Neil's maiden name?
Posted by: ThePrimordialOrderedPair at September 07, 2016 06:45 PM (zc3Db)



No. It is a reference to where he was conceived.

Posted by: Jay Guevara at September 07, 2016 06:49 PM (SRKgf)

438 The engorged orbit will engulf itself. Itz science.

Posted by: some moron at September 07, 2016 06:49 PM (BO/km)

439 The sun, in its final stages, will be played by Brian Dennehy

Posted by: ThunderB at September 07, 2016 06:49 PM (wpKFM)

440
Winston-Salem comic book store features new transgender superheroine who takes on North Carolina's 'bathroom bill'

http://preview.tinyurl.com/hj7jyqz

THE ADVENTURES OF WOMANMAN!!!

Posted by: Mr. Peebles at September 07, 2016 06:49 PM (mL2BD)

441 FACT: This thread will expand beyond 400 comments and engulf the charred remains that was once the previous thread. Have a good day.

And Neil Gassy sucks...

Posted by: Rgallegos at September 07, 2016 06:49 PM (59GQk)

442 The sun be engulphin sh*t like orbits, and the future existence on this plant.

Posted by: Sheila Jackson-Lee at September 07, 2016 06:50 PM (g6yUI)

443 If there's no lettuce, it's not a salad.

----

Caprese salad begs to differ.

Posted by: RKae at September 07, 2016 06:50 PM (i+OYT)

444 How the hell does someone get a middle name of "DeGrasse"? Is that Neil's maiden name?

Posted by: ThePrimordialOrderedPair at September 07, 2016 06:45 PM (zc3Db)





No. It is a reference to where he was conceived.

Posted by: Jay Guevara at September 07, 2016 06:49 PM (SRKgf)

no, no, deGrasse is French for casserole

Posted by: runner at September 07, 2016 06:50 PM (c6/9Q)

445 NDT is to science what Samantha Bee is to humor.
Posted by: steevy at September 07, 2016 06:47 PM (fA75F)
God, that pinched faced little horror.
From Canada, like Bill Maher,only much more masculine.

Posted by: tubal at September 07, 2016 06:50 PM (mHL0c)

446 Where de grass at?
Gary Johnson

Posted by: steevy at September 07, 2016 06:51 PM (fA75F)

447 That's one sciency Mo-Fo.

Posted by: Ricardo Kill at September 07, 2016 06:51 PM (9ym/8)

448 Posted by: Neil Degrasse Tyson at September 07, 2016 06:49 PM (2cS/G)

LOL

Posted by: washrivergal at September 07, 2016 06:51 PM (CFc5L)

449 Fact: Mayonnaise - it's a white people thing.

Posted by: Neil DeGrasse Tyson at September 07, 2016 06:51 PM (NbTeC)

450 He got the "de grasse" in high school


Smoking like a raggae band

Posted by: ThunderB at September 07, 2016 06:52 PM (wpKFM)

451 >>FACT: Someone once filmed a movie using a shaky camera. Then the rest of
cinematographers of the world thought this was incredibly awesome.


FACT: Michael has been using a new camera specifically designed for him by RED Camera called the BAYHEM, which he uses to film Transformers movie explosions and Victoria Secrets ads, buts mostly BOOBS.

Posted by: Lizzy at September 07, 2016 06:52 PM (NOIQH)

452 413
Gone to soon Phil was.

Posted by: Hairyback Guy at September 07, 2016 06:42 PM (ej1L0)


He and Michael Brown went to the same place?

Posted by: rickl at September 07, 2016 06:52 PM (sdi6R)

453 The chick who wrote eat pray love has decided she's now a lesbian.
Apparently the sequel to eat pray love will be eat pray love me some pussy now.



Working title: Eat Pray Muff Dive.

Posted by: Jay Guevara at September 07, 2016 06:52 PM (SRKgf)

454 NDT is to science what a fish is to a bicycle.

Posted by: Mr. Peebles at September 07, 2016 06:52 PM (mL2BD)

455 OT (yet again), but wondering if the side-bar will soon feature something on Glenn Beck's latest step further into cloud cuckoo-land.


Didn't some candidate have Beck as a side-kick recently?


Posted by: rhomboid at September 07, 2016 06:52 PM (QDnY+)

456 Fight back, everyone, on all fronts, at all times.

Here's an example:

A local Bay Area news site had a completely random article about a beach on a local lake being closed because there was too much toxic algae in the water.

In the article, they quote a random non-expert park ranger, who (yep) blamed the algae on GLOBAL WARMING!!!

http://www.berkeleyside.com/2016/09/02/ toxic-algae-forces-closure-of-lake-anza-to-swimmers-dogs/

So I logged into the multi-user "aperson" account and dropped this comment on the article:

---

"I'm grateful to EBRPD spokeswoman Carolyn Jones for unwittingly revealing the laughable cult-like advocacy concerning "climate change" which every person in authority in California must parrot, when, after conceding that the reason for the algae is "one of the great mysteries of science," she STILL has the un-self-aware audacity to chalk it up to "climate change" nonetheless. Essentially, what Jones said was "Neither I nor anyone else has the slightest idea what causes this, but I guarantee that it was caused by climate change." That's not "science," that toeing the party line, in which EVERY natural phenomenon MUST be ascribed to "climate change," whether there's any evidence for it or not. (Usually "not.")

The rationale behind this relentless anti-scientific propaganda (which always masquerades as science) is to create generations of people who just assume that "climate change" is serious and is bad and is caused by us and can be rectified -- none of which has actually be demonstrated. But they've gone "all in" on this latest manufactured crisis and will not let go until the political goals have been reached. (Needless to say, they never will be reached, but that's too big of a topic to fit into a small comment.)

Despite the debunked claims that the overall GLOBAL temperature has gone up some negligible percentage of one degree over the last several decades, the average temperature for the Bay Area has DROPPED since records started being kept. So the temperature of Lake Anza is not higher now than it was during, for example, the summer and fall of 1972, which made 2016 feel like the new Ice Age. And yet more algae is detected now.

I posit that what's going on is that the TESTING is superior and more sensitive now than in the past (if they even did test at all in the past), so we're detecting the toxins more accurately. Also, ecosystems slowly change and evolve over time inevitably, which happens continuously in every ecosystem in existence in every epoch, so it just could be that the percentage of one kind of algae is simply growing in relation to a different kind of algae that may have had less toxins.

But Carolyn Jones (who I assume isn't the famous "Morticia Addams" Carolyn Jones) assures us that it's because of climate change, so I guess that's settled."

---

Then, when a commenter implied I was a professor who was a paid shill of the oil companies, I made a follow-up reply:

---

"I am not a professor, and no one has paid me anything to express myself.

Part of the conspiracy-thinking slander is to spread the ludicrous lie that anyone and everyone who challenges the indoctrination is a paid shill of the oil companies. Sorry, I won't play that game, either.

You are the one who is the dupe, because you are swallowing a narrative uncritically, without examining the real facts, nor the motivation for the deception.

And if you follow the money trail, it actually leads in the opposite direction: Something like $100 million in grants are handed out each year EXCLUSIVELY to researchers who pre-announce that they will do some study to advance the climate change agenda -- while exactly $0 in grants ever get handed out to researchers who make no promises as to what their results will be.

In other words, in order to garner the $$$ and keep your job, you must toe the climate change line and promise to join Team Propaganda.

And now the Democrats in Congress are trying to get a bill passed to make "climate denial" a CRIMINAL OFFENSE.

Totalitarianism always arrives like this, in the guise of do-gooder-ism and coercive altruism, and if you don't want to cooperate, it's off to prison for you."

---

Yeah, it's a small punch in a much larger melee, but my intended audience is everyone reading the article who silently agrees with me who who feels outnumbers and socially shamed from expressing themselves. I'm trying to change the cultural ecosystem so more people can speak out.

Little by little. THat's how you fight back.

Posted by: zombie at September 07, 2016 06:52 PM (jBuUi)

457 I don't know about that but Roger Ailes can sexually harass me for $2M. It's like a bargain.

Posted by: Anonosaurus Wrecks, Now With More Je Ne Sais Quoi! at September 07, 2016 06:42 PM

Hell....for $2,000,000 I'd have a threesome with Van Susteren and Carlson!

Posted by: CharlieBrown'sDildo at September 07, 2016 06:53 PM (Zu3d9)

458 don't wanna scroll up , but Science : Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus, gay men are from Uranus and lesbians are from Lesbos - has that been covered yet ??

Posted by: runner at September 07, 2016 06:53 PM (c6/9Q)

459 FACT: The manatee is an acquatic form of weasel.

Posted by: Cicero (@cicero) at September 07, 2016 06:53 PM (8ZskC)

460 Nood. And that IS a fact.

Posted by: HH at September 07, 2016 06:53 PM (DrCtv)

461 455 OT (yet again), but wondering if the side-bar will soon feature something on Glenn Beck's latest step further into cloud cuckoo-land.
Didn't some candidate have Beck as a side-kick recently?
Posted by: rhomboid at September 07, 2016 06:52 PM (QDnY+)

Yep. They were in a new Sonic commercial.


Posted by: tubal at September 07, 2016 06:53 PM (mHL0c)

462 442 The sun be engulphin sh*t like orbits, and the future existence on this plant.
Posted by: Sheila Jackson-Lee at September 07, 2016 06:50 PM (g6yUI)



If all de planets be on one side of the Sun, the solar system be like capsizing.

Word.

Peace out.

Posted by: Hank Johnson at September 07, 2016 06:54 PM (SRKgf)

463 What % of all internet search hits for NdGT's name would be AOSHQ, ya think?


Have never heard of the guy outside this place.



Posted by: rhomboid at September 07, 2016 06:54 PM (QDnY+)

464 They both suck. Sagan was a smug dickhead.
Posted by: Nip Sip at September 07, 2016 05:34 PM (NbJXF)


Fun Carl Sagan Facts:

His house was on the side of a cliff in Ithaca. Across the gorge was a fraternity--I think they were called Rockledge because no one is as painfully derivative in coming up with names than an ivy league frat boy. Anyway. Rockledge thinks it would be entertaining to invite Sagan to a Christmas party or somesuch, what with them being neighbors and all.

Sagan sends them back a list of his appearance fees.

Which brings up a very real question: what level of dick move do you assign to that? Was he serious, as in I'm happy to whore myself out and condescend to show up at your party, so long as the price is right, or was it a completely douchebag way of saying no? Because he could have politely declined, but obviously took the time to send his list of appearance fees, because he cared.

Well, Rockledge was a bunch of Ivy league frat boys, and yeah, two years later one of them died in their chimney trying to climb down inside it like Santa, but you have to give them credit: they erected, on the side of the gorge, in Christmas lights, in huge letters, right across from Sagan's house and presumably directly in view of his living room window, the following message:

FUCK YOU CARL.

Campus police got involved and made them take down the FU part, so it was only CARL when I saw it.

Later, Carl Sagan died. You tell me who won that round.

Also, I have a friend who tripped Carl Sagan at a party, he says unintentionally, and I have to believe him, I guess. But the story would be better if he did it on purpose.

Posted by: TexasDan at September 07, 2016 06:54 PM (FnuZG)

465 The lunatic is on DeGrasse.

Posted by: Bertram Cabot Jr. at September 07, 2016 06:55 PM (IqV8l)

466 As I read this post I could feel my brain getting bigger and bigger, as it filled with knowledgey goodness.

#426 - " A crazy idea (requiring tech for beyond anything we can muster now) is
to slowly move the earth away, increasing the orbital radius gradually
to compensate."

We could all jump up and down a lot every day at just the right time and - by God! - we'd STOMP the earth out to a bigger orbit. Voila! Problem solved...

Posted by: Steamboat McGoo at September 07, 2016 06:56 PM (M6etg)

467 460 Nood. And that IS a fact.
Posted by: HH


Classic willowing. Change the term to "zombie-ing"?

Posted by: zombie at September 07, 2016 06:56 PM (jBuUi)

468 Posted by: zombie at September 07, 2016 06:52 PM (jBuUi)


Well done.

Posted by: Jay Guevara at September 07, 2016 06:56 PM (SRKgf)

469 This format reminds me of the 'facts about penguins' topic, still one of the funniest things I've ever read on the internet.

Posted by: broseidon king of the brocean at September 07, 2016 06:57 PM (kumBu)

470 Have never heard of the guy outside this place.

Posted by: rhomboid at September 07, 2016 06:54 PM (QDnY+)


He shows up in lots of Learning/Science Channel stuff. They love putting his mug on screen - to prove that there are black physicists. Tyson and a couple of other guys. Of course, no one ever doubted that there were black physicists. Over the past 40+ years about 430 blacks have been awarded PhDs in physics in America. And pretty much every one of them gets calls from the Science Channel to narrate some program.

Posted by: ThePrimordialOrderedPair at September 07, 2016 06:59 PM (zc3Db)

471 "Yep. They were in a new Sonic commercial.


Posted by: tubal at September 07, 2016 06:53 PM (mHL0c) "

Fuckin' Sonic. He already has a perfectly good sidekick in Tails, and he's outsourcing. No wonder he hasn't had a good game in 15 years.

Posted by: broseidon king of the brocean at September 07, 2016 06:59 PM (kumBu)

472 Glenn Beck's latest step further into cloud cuckoo-land.

-
?

Posted by: Anonosaurus Wrecks, Now With More Je Ne Sais Quoi! at September 07, 2016 06:59 PM (Nwg0u)

473 Posted by: TexasDan at September 07, 2016 06:54 PM (FnuZG)


Carl Sagan and acolytes excreted the notion of "nuclear winter," the forerunner to "global warming," and equally valid scientifically.

Turns out Sagan just guessed at the parameters in his model - in the total absence of any empirical evidence - plugged them in, voila! Nuclear winter.

A cynic (looks around nervously) might suspect he chose parameters that would show nuclear winter, if necessary through iterations with various parameters.

Posted by: Jay Guevara at September 07, 2016 07:00 PM (SRKgf)

474
He shows up in lots of Learning/Science Channel stuff. They love putting his mug on screen - to prove that there are black physicists. Tyson and a couple of other guys. Of course, no one ever doubted that there were black physicists. Over the past 40+ years about 430 blacks have been awarded PhDs in physics in America. And pretty much every one of them gets calls from the Science Channel to narrate some program.

Posted by: ThePrimordialOrderedPair at September 07, 2016 06:59 PM (zc3Db)



His resume screams "an affirmative action passenger in a Ph.D. program who was carried across the finish line with the understanding that he would not try to actually work in the field, but rather would find some other way to make a living."

I have one of those too. He ended up as a secondary school teacher, with a Ph.D. in chemistry from an elite university.

Posted by: Jay Guevara at September 07, 2016 07:02 PM (SRKgf)

475 Fact: bovine flatulence poses just as big a threat from Global Warming as with burned fossil fuels do.

Posted by: Neill DeGrasse Bison at September 07, 2016 07:03 PM (g6yUI)

476 NGT is supposedly the greatest living scientific mind because, what, he runs a planetarium? Just cue up "Dark Side of the Moon" and show the 5th graders where Orion's Belt is, dipshit.

Posted by: broseidon king of the brocean at September 07, 2016 07:03 PM (kumBu)

477 464
FUCK YOU CARL.

Posted by: TexasDan at September 07, 2016 06:54 PM (FnuZG)


I have a story too, which I heard from someone who was there. I used to be a member of an astronomy club. This happened before my time, but one of the other members told me about it.

They invited Sagan to give a presentation at one of their meetings (and presumably paid his speaking fee).

When he arrived, introductions were made all around, and the members helped Sagan set up the equipment for his presentation.

As they were working, he would say things like, "Tom, could you bring that over here" and "Bill, you can put that down right there".

Then somebody said, "Hey Carl--" and was immediately cut off with, "That's DOCTOR Sagan to you."

Posted by: rickl at September 07, 2016 07:04 PM (sdi6R)

478 In 4 billion years, all grocery stores will have $4.99 rotisserie chicken - and nothing else.

Posted by: bergerbilder at September 07, 2016 07:05 PM (27WlQ)

479 12
Wait, what?

Women have only 30 teeth??

Posted by: Mister Magoo's


He's either just talking about the one's in their heads, or he's not counting the fangs and tusks as teeth.

Posted by: Dirks Strewn at September 07, 2016 07:07 PM (2ktpL)

480 A cynic (looks around nervously) might suspect he chose parameters that would show nuclear winter, if necessary through iterations with various parameters.
Posted by: Jay Guevara at September 07, 2016 07:00 PM (SRKgf)


I suspect he forced his grad students to do all that part.

He finally condescended my senior year to teach an undergraduate course. One can only guess how much money Cornell threw at him to have him there, this marquee presence, and the guy was utterly unavailable to 99.9% of the student body.

You had to have an astounding GPA and submit to a personal interview with him to take the class.

Posted by: TexasDan at September 07, 2016 07:08 PM (FnuZG)

481 9 Only 5 billion years?!!!??? PANIC!!!!!!


Posted by: DangerGirl

Crikey, I thought you said 5 MILLION years. What a relief.

Posted by: Dirks Strewn at September 07, 2016 07:09 PM (2ktpL)

482 "In five billion years, yatta yatta..."
"Well, isn't this awkward..." Christopher Hitchens with no place else to go.

Posted by: Richard McEnroe at September 07, 2016 07:19 PM (39cXK)

483 Y'all all probably be passed away in a 100 years. Have a nice day.

Posted by: Neill DeGrasse Tiresome at September 07, 2016 07:38 PM (g6yUI)

484 Referring to kilometers as "klicks" sounds 50% less geeky because it makes it sound like you were in the military or something.

Posted by: Moron Labia at September 07, 2016 08:20 PM (wumlz)

485 Winston-Salem comic book store features new transgender superheroine who takes on North Carolina's 'bathroom bill'

http://preview.tinyurl.com/hj7jyqz

THE ADVENTURES OF WOMANMAN!!!
Posted by: Mr. Peebles at September 07, 2016 06:49 PM (mL2BD)
-------------------------------------------------------
Trying to copy the Freakonomics KKK story for transgenders. Don't think it will work out the way they think.

Posted by: WinLinBSDAdmin at September 07, 2016 08:27 PM (B11vO)

486 NdGT does realize he's repeating an old Woody Allen joke from 'Annie Hall,' doesn't he?
.
Doesn't he?

Posted by: RNB at September 07, 2016 08:52 PM (DjjZJ)

487 You, Sir, top of your game. You have me literally stitches.

Stitches, so named from the repairs of early Saint's britches.

Posted by: bour3 at September 07, 2016 09:05 PM (/qi0q)

488 Ahhh...thanks, I needed a good laugh.

Posted by: SplatticusFinch at September 07, 2016 09:33 PM (BJosZ)

489 zombie at comment 456, you have my eternal admiration. Well done.

Posted by: pendejo at September 07, 2016 10:08 PM (pJgMQ)

490 FACT: The element Wulfram is so named because it is found only in wolves' tongues. That's why it is also called Tungsten

Tungsten literally means "heavy stone" in Swedish. FACT.

Posted by: Miley's Bone Booth at September 08, 2016 12:21 AM (L2UGl)

491 All of this is why so many of us love you, Ace.

Posted by: m at September 08, 2016 02:49 AM (/4GEs)

492 For years, philosophers have pondered if God could make a shoe so large that even He would say, "Shit, big shoe"
---
That got a LoL.

Posted by: Axeman at September 08, 2016 10:00 AM (lWper)

493 Fact: Wherever you go, there you are.

Posted by: eamonkelly at September 10, 2016 07:03 PM (vGRGV)

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