Earth-ish (?) Planet Discovered Orbiting Proxima Centauri, Our Sun's Nearest Neighbor

Practically just up the street like a 7-11!

The star closest to the sun hosts a planet that may be very much like Earth, a new study reports.
Astronomers have discovered a roughly Earth-size alien world around Proxima Centauri, which lies just 4.2 light-years from our own solar system. What's even more exciting, study team members said, is that the planet, known as Proxima b, circles in the star's "habitable zone" — the range of distances at which liquid water could be stable on a world's surface.

I like how they put "habitable zone" in quotes as if it's this term of art you have to be alerted to. Like if they just said "It's in the habitable zone," no quotes, you would be missing out on some nuance.

Anyway.

Don't worry -- this affords us no hope at all. Microscopic black holes capable of incredible destructive force may be zipping around the universe like invisible million ton bullets.

Posted by: Ace at 06:42 PM

Comments

(Jump to bottom of comments)

1 "We come to bring you diversity!"

*ion cannon on planet blows earth ship out of the sky*

Posted by: Dack Thrombosis at August 25, 2016 06:43 PM (4ErVI)

2 It's a cookbook!

Posted by: Jinx the Cat at August 25, 2016 06:44 PM (rJEUr)

3 Microscopic Black Hole 2016

Posted by: steevy at August 25, 2016 06:44 PM (fA75F)

4 I have no recollection of the dinner conversation with the Proxima B Centaurians.

And I certainly do not remember advising them to destroy planet Earth.

Posted by: Colin Powell at August 25, 2016 06:45 PM (PL2OL)

5 Well, if Hillary wins, I know where I'm moving to...

Posted by: TexasJew at August 25, 2016 06:45 PM (mF5Yb)

6 It's already been declared the 3,451st most sacred place in all of Islam....

Posted by: Stateless Infidel at August 25, 2016 06:46 PM (tkZGK)

7 Did someone say "brown holes"?

Posted by: Hope's Rolo at August 25, 2016 06:46 PM (Tyii7)

8 So SMOD is going to be replaced by MBH?

Posted by: Minnfidel at August 25, 2016 06:47 PM (8dC42)

9 Hey, you have to take the bad with the good.

Posted by: rickl at August 25, 2016 06:47 PM (sdi6R)

10 Lets create a grant for those from the northeast to head that way. NC is screwed up enough already.

Posted by: Golfman at August 25, 2016 06:47 PM (48QDY)

11 I would someday like to take a trip to Uranus to meet the Klingons.

Posted by: Hope's Rolo at August 25, 2016 06:47 PM (Tyii7)

12 Did someone say "brown holes"?

Posted by: Hope's Rolo at August 25, 2016 06:46 PM

Amateur.

Posted by: Leslie Jones at August 25, 2016 06:47 PM (8dC42)

13 Why do they have to go outside the solar system when there's a perfectly good planet right here at home?

Posted by: Pluto, A Planet and a Damn Good One at August 25, 2016 06:48 PM (YHOiq)

14 #BlackHolesMatter

Lots of matter, come to think of it.

Posted by: rickl at August 25, 2016 06:48 PM (sdi6R)

15 Venus and Mars are both in the habitable zone. Also do they actually know what the habitable zone really is for other types of stars?

Also how is this planet affected by the close proximity to the other stars of Alpha Centauri?

Posted by: buzzion at August 25, 2016 06:48 PM (z/Ubi)

16 habitable zone... If you define "massive radiation zone" as habitable.

Posted by: wooga at August 25, 2016 06:48 PM (jbO2E)

17 Wouldn't that be Vulcan?

Posted by: Paladin at August 25, 2016 06:49 PM (LTquJ)

18 Proxima B? What kind of wimpy-ass name is that?

They should have called it Xenu.

Posted by: Cicero (@cicero) at August 25, 2016 06:50 PM (YHOiq)

19 And it's populated with insanely hot green chicks like a Star Trek episode. I say let's go. We've already fckd this place up enough. Come on MBH!!!!

Posted by: Minnfidel at August 25, 2016 06:50 PM (8dC42)

20 Did you know there are currently no "habitable zones" in the once-prosperous American Capitalist manufacturing stronghold city of Detroit?

It's a fact, comrades!

Posted by: True Facts Russian News at August 25, 2016 06:50 PM (DHDiP)

21 See, I told you guys yesterday. Aliens. They're going to come probe us.

Posted by: Ricardo Kill at August 25, 2016 06:50 PM (1KrpD)

22 That's no planet.

Posted by: Obi Wan at August 25, 2016 06:51 PM (YHOiq)

23 What's the deal with Hillary Rodbitch and the Chairman Mao look???

Posted by: Anti-Mary Clogginstien Not From Vermont at August 25, 2016 06:51 PM (sPR4R)

24 This thread has some Hope Solo overtones.

Posted by: MTF at August 25, 2016 06:52 PM (/m8T6)

25 It might be in the habital zone but with the special sauce ain't shit happening, you dig?

Posted by: Kreplach at August 25, 2016 06:52 PM (yk1RA)

26 Aliens. They're going to come probe us.

Well, that means they like butt stuff. I, for one, welcome our new underlords.

Posted by: Hope's Rolo at August 25, 2016 06:53 PM (Tyii7)

27 Soooooo, SMOD is actually my . . .

Posted by: Hope's Rollo at August 25, 2016 06:53 PM (pkiGl)

28 We need microscopic black hole control!

Posted by: Chupacabra at August 25, 2016 06:53 PM (McglG)

29 Autoplay videos are banned on Proxima b under pain of death.

Posted by: hey, let's crank the volume to MAX too! at August 25, 2016 06:53 PM (5dRGy)

30 It might be in the habital zone but without the special sauce ain't shit happening, you dig?

Posted by: Kreplach at August 25, 2016 06:53 PM (yk1RA)

31 23 What's the deal with Hillary Rodbitch and the Chairman Mao look???
========================

some have suggested those coats hide either her vest or her exoskeleton.

Personally, I'm going with "B"

Posted by: MTF at August 25, 2016 06:53 PM (/m8T6)

32 Is it too much to hope that one of those black holes takes care of the mosquito that somehow got into my bedroom?

Posted by: Gentlemen, this is democracy manifest at August 25, 2016 06:54 PM (LWu6U)

33 MBHOD 2016!

Posted by: gromulin at August 25, 2016 06:54 PM (uOmcB)

34 Just remember, these same scientists said that we will all be extinct in 2010 from global cooling, and in 2015 from global warming, and that you should give them all you money now to save the planet and shit.

Posted by: Mephitis at August 25, 2016 06:54 PM (pkAc3)

35 Because of Presdent Obama's grate leadership in the world of science this discovery was made. Thank You Presdent Obama for the great leap forward in science. We love you.....

Posted by: Mary Clogginstien from Brattleboro, Vt at August 25, 2016 06:55 PM (NuElX)

36 Amy Schumer is considered funny on Proxima b.

Posted by: Obi Wan at August 25, 2016 06:55 PM (YHOiq)

37 24 This thread has some Hope Solo overtones.
Posted by: MTF at August 25, 2016 06:52 PM (/m8T6)

No no. Proxima Centauri is a red dwarf. Not a brown dwarf.

Posted by: buzzion at August 25, 2016 06:55 PM (z/Ubi)

38 Microscopic black holes capable of incredible destructive force may be zipping around the universe like invisible million ton bullets.

Pfffft. You should see the universal damage caused by my macroscopic black holes.

Posted by: Sandra Fluke at August 25, 2016 06:56 PM (/kYMn)

39

On Earth, dead center in the habitable zone temperatures range from a hundred below in antartica and Siberia, to a hundred and thirty in death valley california, to name one desert environment.

I would suspect the habitable zone of a planet as estimated by experts could be well outside those two extremes.

There are a lot of variables left to guesstimation.

Posted by: Timothy Hay at August 25, 2016 06:56 PM (2THCd)

40 Cause science is our god, and you mouth breathers would not understand, or else ruin the whole experience with a trigger or something.

Posted by: Mephitis at August 25, 2016 06:56 PM (pkAc3)

41 34 Just remember, these same scientists said that we will all be extinct in 2010 from global cooling, and in 2015 from global warming, and that you should give them all you money now to save the planet and shit.

-------

Nuh-uh. Wasn't us.

Posted by: Some Astronomers Who Don't Appreciate Being Confused With Meteorologists at August 25, 2016 06:56 PM (YHOiq)

42 Man, Hope's bum must be worn out.

Posted by: Ricardo Kill at August 25, 2016 06:57 PM (1KrpD)

43 I'm betting there are habitable planets around Exacta Centauri.

Posted by: DaveA at August 25, 2016 06:57 PM (8J/Te)

44 I am sure some moron has mentioned this..

Crossbows! A Frog moron?

http://tinyurl.com/z9j7bnk

Posted by: Nip Sip at August 25, 2016 06:57 PM (F1iXz)

45 Hope should probably go in for a bleach job, since she's going to destroy the earth with it and have it be pictured in close-up on all the international news shows.

Just sayin'

Posted by: Sharkman at August 25, 2016 06:58 PM (pkiGl)

46 I'm always amazed at how these conjectures based on completely untested and, as yet, untestable scientific theory is presented as fact.

Posted by: gm at August 25, 2016 06:58 PM (4ueYo)

47 Even the second article says that we "know" that 80% of the universe is dark matter. Oh yeah? You *know* it, do you? Bully for you, dumb fuck.

Posted by: gm at August 25, 2016 06:59 PM (4ueYo)

48 Finally, an explanation on where DC Republicans come from.

Posted by: Anon Y. Mous at August 25, 2016 06:59 PM (R+30W)

49 How many habital planets evolve around Hillary's fat ass ???

Posted by: Anti-Mary Clogginstien Not From Vermont at August 25, 2016 06:59 PM (sPR4R)

50 Can I get a self driving taxi to take me there?

Posted by: Tinfoilbaby at August 25, 2016 06:59 PM (6Ll1u)

51 On Proxima b, sea monkeys really do have tiny faces and they wear little clothes.

Posted by: Some Astronomers Who Don't Appreciate Being Confused With Meteorologists at August 25, 2016 06:59 PM (YHOiq)

52 And Londo Mollari will be waiting for us, trying to sell us jump gate tech the like.

Some deals come with too high a price.

Posted by: Captain Ned at August 25, 2016 07:00 PM (WI6nT)

53 Anybody made a "Uranus" joke yet?

Posted by: Ricardo Kill at August 25, 2016 07:00 PM (1KrpD)

54 15 Venus and Mars are both in the habitable zone. Also do they actually know what the habitable zone really is for other types of stars?

Also how is this planet affected by the close proximity to the other stars of Alpha Centauri?
Posted by: buzzion at August 25, 2016 06:48 PM (z/Ubi)

I think it's defined as the zone where the temperature would allow liquid water to exist. The habitable zone (excuse me, "habitable zone") for a red dwarf like Proxima B will be closer than to the Sun, and farther away for a hotter, more massive star.

Alpha Centauri A&B are a close-orbiting pair, but Proxima is some distance away. I don't know how far. The two main stars are among the brightest stars in the sky (if you're in the Southern Hemisphere) but Proxima wasn't discovered until 1915.

Posted by: rickl at August 25, 2016 07:00 PM (sdi6R)

55

There is nothing funny about Uranus.

Posted by: Timothy Hay at August 25, 2016 07:01 PM (2THCd)

56 *beeep*

Posted by: Capt. Christopher Pike at August 25, 2016 07:01 PM (YHOiq)

57 I'm always amazed at how these conjectures based on completely untested and, as yet, untestable scientific theory is presented as fact.
Posted by: gm

This one is testable.

Posted by: boulder terlit hobo at August 25, 2016 07:01 PM (6FqZa)

58 They think they know that planet is there from star wobble. What if somethng else is making it wobble?

Posted by: freaked at August 25, 2016 07:01 PM (BO/km)

59 Proxima b sounds like the name of a medication.

Posted by: Weasel at August 25, 2016 07:01 PM (Sfs6o)

60 Uranus is ALWAYS funny!

Posted by: Weasel at August 25, 2016 07:02 PM (Sfs6o)

61 So....sleeper ships being out of the question for the time being, are we looking at generation ships?

Just asking.....

Posted by: Your Decidedly Devious Uncle Palpatine, Still Accepting Harem Applicants at August 25, 2016 07:02 PM (lutOX)

62 Let's send Jo Biden up to see if it's inhabitable.

Posted by: Jane D'oh at August 25, 2016 07:02 PM (1ZOkK)

63 Micro black holes may be zipping around. May.

I may grow a tail and run in the Kentucky Derby. May.

Posted by: Dave at Buffalo Roam at August 25, 2016 07:02 PM (LIaQb)

64 Sea monkeys were the assless chaps of mail order toys.

Posted by: That guy who always says... at August 25, 2016 07:02 PM (Tyii7)

65 Like a fully operational space station, freaked?

Posted by: Chupacabra at August 25, 2016 07:02 PM (McglG)

66 My understanding is that Venus is too close to the sun to be habitable, but it might have been habitable when the sun was cooler. Mars would be habitable now if it could hold on to its atmosphere... but it can't, so it isn't, and won't be.

Posted by: boulder terlit hobo at August 25, 2016 07:02 PM (6FqZa)

67
How many habital planets evolve around Hillary's fat ass ???
Posted by: Anti-Mary Clogginstien Not From Vermont at August 25, 2016 06:59 PM

Her ass is gas giant, so none.

Posted by: Flawless Male Logic at August 25, 2016 07:03 PM (lKyWE)

68 Bush's brain is not habitual !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Posted by: Mary Clogginstien from Brattleboro, Vt at August 25, 2016 07:03 PM (NuElX)

69 Release the microscopic black holes!

Posted by: LHC Egghead at August 25, 2016 07:03 PM (HVQlX)

70
Detroit - 'habitable zone'

Posted by: Mike Hammer, etc., etc. at August 25, 2016 07:03 PM (RrDm2)

71 I shall have it named Planet Baracka.

Posted by: the JEF at August 25, 2016 07:04 PM (1ZOkK)

72 Uranus is ALWAYS funny

har har har

Posted by: Hope Solo at August 25, 2016 07:04 PM (BO/km)

73 $2 on Dave to Place.

Posted by: goatexchange at August 25, 2016 07:04 PM (YFnq5)

74 Yeah um, they are assuming this is a planet based on the way the gravity is affecting light and other objects, but its too far away to see. So I always take these "discoveries" with a pretty big grain of salt.

Posted by: Christopher Taylor at August 25, 2016 07:04 PM (39g3+)

75 In grad school, I was told by my prof that back in the '60s when he was in grad school (same school), that they'd have visiting profs come and give scientific lectures (we had the same). During one such lecture, the talk had to be prematurely ended after 8 hours because the audience (including several soon to be Nobel laureates) was questioning the assertions and findings of the lecturer to such an extent. He'd only gotten to, iirc, his 6th slide. Now, I'm just supposed to take these fuckers' words as something because "science," or some dumb shit.

Posted by: gm at August 25, 2016 07:04 PM (4ueYo)

76 On Soviet Proxima b, Zone makes you habitable!

Posted by: Yakov Spockoff at August 25, 2016 07:04 PM (RKQ/v)

77 The planet is very intriguing. The question I have is whether a red dwarf star can generate enough solar radiation to enable plant life. Not so sure itcould. No plant life - no oxygen - no oxygen - no macro animal life.
Of course, other possibilities for life there, just not the sexy big stuff.

Posted by: tubal at August 25, 2016 07:05 PM (d6TTt)

78 Sheila Jackson Lee could use a trip to a planet.

Posted by: Jane D'oh at August 25, 2016 07:05 PM (1ZOkK)

79 Mars would be habitable now if it could hold on to its atmosphere... but it can't, so it isn't, and won't be.

Testify! I ain't stayin' with no man that blows all his atmosphere on whorish moons and slutty comets.

Posted by: Mrs. Venus-Mars at August 25, 2016 07:06 PM (/kYMn)

80 We have detected Klingons near Uranus. We're moving in to clean up.

Posted by: USS Charmin at August 25, 2016 07:06 PM (xhqXI)

81 There is nothing funny about Uranus.
Posted by: Timothy Hay
-----

No joking.

Posted by: Mike Hammer, etc., etc. at August 25, 2016 07:06 PM (RrDm2)

82 >>>This one is testable.
Posted by: boulder terlit hobo at August 25, 2016 07:01 PM (6FqZa)>>>

Yeah, once you get to the fucking planet it's testable. Once you've gotten to the star (or any star with the so-called "wobble"), you'll have the start of your testing.

Posted by: gm at August 25, 2016 07:06 PM (4ueYo)

83 55

There is nothing funny about Uranus.

Posted by: Timothy Hay at August 25, 2016 07:01 PM (2THCd)

You ever seen Barney's? You can drive a truck in it.

Posted by: Mrs. Barney at August 25, 2016 07:07 PM (F1iXz)

84 The evolution of any life there would certainly be different than what has evolved here.
Our evolution really did require our type of sun.

Posted by: tubal at August 25, 2016 07:07 PM (d6TTt)

85 66 My understanding is that Venus is too close to the sun to be habitable, but it might have been habitable when the sun was cooler.
Posted by: boulder terlit hobo at August 25, 2016 07:02 PM (6FqZa)

That's a good point. Main-sequence stars like the Sun slowly and gradually burn hotter as they age. I'm very curious what Venus might have been like 2 or 3 billion years ago.

I've read that the Sun will be hot enough to boil away the Earth's oceans in less than a billion years. Since life of Earth appeared nearly 4 billion years ago, it's sobering to realize that it has mostly run its course.

Posted by: rickl at August 25, 2016 07:07 PM (sdi6R)

86 78
Sheila Jackson Lee could use a trip to a planet.

Posted by: Jane D'oh at August 25, 2016 07:05 PM (1ZOkK)

I thought her and Johnson were going to Guam to tip it over?

Posted by: Nip Sip at August 25, 2016 07:08 PM (F1iXz)

87 Does that new planet have Taco/Rapey Tuesday?
If so, I'm in.

Posted by: Bruce at August 25, 2016 07:08 PM (8ikIW)

88 There is a reason that they are looking for people to go to Mars on a one way ticket.

Posted by: Tinfoilbaby at August 25, 2016 07:08 PM (6Ll1u)

89 76 On Soviet Proxima b, Zone makes you habitable!
Posted by: Yakov Spockoff at August 25, 2016 07:04 PM (RKQ/v)
***
The Zone is a complicated system. It must be respected, or it will punish you.

(Recommend the Horde see 'Stalker' by Tarkovsky. Amazing film.)

Posted by: Your Decidedly Devious Uncle Palpatine, Still Accepting Harem Applicants at August 25, 2016 07:08 PM (lutOX)

90 ***78 Sheila Jackson Lee could use a trip to a planet.

Mars. She can bring the flag back.

Posted by: Dave at Buffalo Roam at August 25, 2016 07:08 PM (LIaQb)

91 This exclusionary rhetoric from scientists pisses me off. They are basing "habitable" on water-based life. For all they know, we are the exception in this galaxy, and almost all life is silicon-based, big lumpy natural computers sitting around calculating all the time.

Free the alternate lifeforms!

Silicone Life Matters!

Posted by: Meremortal at August 25, 2016 07:09 PM (3myMJ)

92 When pointy-headed scientists make these wide-sweeping assertions, I can't help but think of the hoopla surrounding the debut of Prometheus and the stench it left on the history of science fiction.

Posted by: Fritz at August 25, 2016 07:09 PM (HVQlX)

93 Donald Trump has already declared the new planet for whites only.

Posted by: DNC Press Releases at August 25, 2016 07:10 PM (vP09u)

94 Silicone Life Matters!
Posted by: Meremortal

Here here.

Posted by: Pam Anderson at August 25, 2016 07:11 PM (xhqXI)

95 Posted by: Fritz at August 25, 2016 07:09 PM (HVQlX)
***
The nightmare thread was yesterday, Fritz......

What you speak of never happened, nor could it ever.

Posted by: Your Decidedly Devious Uncle Palpatine, Still Accepting Harem Applicants at August 25, 2016 07:11 PM (lutOX)

96 Silicon-based life forms are way more perkier than others. They defy gravity more, too.

Posted by: goatexchange at August 25, 2016 07:11 PM (YFnq5)

97

That's a good point. Main-sequence stars like the Sun slowly and gradually burn hotter as they age. I'm very curious what Venus might have been like 2 or 3 billion years ago.

I've read that the Sun will be hot enough to boil away the Earth's oceans in less than a billion years. Since life of Earth appeared nearly 4 billion years ago, it's sobering to realize that it has mostly run its course.
Posted by: rickl at August 25, 2016 07:07 PM (sdi6R)

Yeah it is. It took a couple of billion years for earth conditions to settle enough for things to get stable enough for life to take off.
If we judge a place like Venus, or Mars, by Earth standards,then maybe there was not enough time.

Posted by: tubal at August 25, 2016 07:12 PM (d6TTt)

98 Man, Hope's bum must be worn out.
Posted by: Ricardo Kill at August 25, 2016 06:57 PM (1KrpD)

The Chicken is her mentor.

Posted by: Country Boy at August 25, 2016 07:12 PM (8oIxH)

99 >>> This thread has some Hope Solo overtones

There is no Hope Solo "over" tone. It is always an undertone.

Posted by: wooga at August 25, 2016 07:12 PM (jbO2E)

100 Take your protein pills and put your helmet on.

Posted by: Hope's Rolo at August 25, 2016 07:13 PM (Tyii7)

101 Venus and Mars are both in the habitable zone. Also do they actually know what the habitable zone really is for other types of stars?

Planets, in order to be habitable to most life, need a magnetic field to shear off their stars radiation, which means molten core. Mars once had some molten core, but it ended. So any life which might have been there once ended. Venus has a runaway molten core, with runaway volcanic activity. No life, ever.

But pop science likes the word 'Goldilocks'. There's more to it than that.

Posted by: free range 'sorta' conservative at August 25, 2016 07:13 PM (ZFUt7)

102 I'm dumping SMOD for the MBHs.

Posted by: Insomniac at August 25, 2016 07:13 PM (0mRoj)

103 Hey I know!! Let's launch a spaceship to it containing a typical American family of supersmart overachievers, plus a handsome pilot, and a robot.

Posted by: Count de Monet at August 25, 2016 07:13 PM (JO9+V)

104 I saw Million Ton Bullets open for Guns N' Roses

Posted by: Retard Strength Trumps Smart Power at August 25, 2016 07:14 PM (RKQ/v)

105 Thanks for pointing out the need for a magnetic field, free range. Lots of requirements.

Posted by: tubal at August 25, 2016 07:15 PM (d6TTt)

106 Man, Hope's bum must be worn out.
Posted by: Ricardo Kill

Well, it's just made the Kessel Run in less than 12 parsecs.

Posted by: Hope Solo at August 25, 2016 07:15 PM (xhqXI)

107 103 Hey I know!! Let's launch a spaceship to it containing a typical American family of supersmart overachievers, plus a handsome pilot, and a robot.
Posted by: Count de Monet at August 25, 2016 07:13 PM (JO9+V)

Aren't you worried they'll get lost?

Posted by: Insomniac at August 25, 2016 07:15 PM (0mRoj)

108 ***get stable enough for life to take off. If we judge a place like Venus, ***

Maybe life happened and then it just got too dang hot. Boiled off the sea monkeys.

Posted by: Dave at Buffalo Roam at August 25, 2016 07:15 PM (LIaQb)

109 Hey I know!! Let's launch a spaceship to it containing a typical American family of supersmart overachievers, plus a handsome pilot, and a robot.

Posted by: Count de Monet

Can the robot be gay?

Asking for a friend.

Posted by: C-3PO at August 25, 2016 07:15 PM (VAsIq)

110 Speaking of Earthlike planets:

Please check the sidebar for info on this year's Southwest Ohio Moron Meetup.

Posted by: ibguy at August 25, 2016 07:16 PM (vUcdz)

111 Maybe life happened and then it just got too dang hot. Boiled off the sea monkeys.

Posted by: Dave at Buffalo Roam

There was intelligent life on Venus, but they drove SUVs and global warming and DEATH!

Posted by: Bill Nye, the "Science" Guy at August 25, 2016 07:17 PM (VAsIq)

112 Aren't you worried they'll get lost?

Only if they bring along a senselessly hostile and corrupt sneaky scumbag who tries constantly to ruin everything for not reason.

Posted by: Christopher Taylor at August 25, 2016 07:17 PM (39g3+)

113 For a planet to be habitable, it also needs good schools, mass transit, and Universal Healthcare.

Posted by: DNC Press Releases at August 25, 2016 07:17 PM (vP09u)

114 Practically just up the street like a 7-11!

----

I'mma rob a xeno-planet!

Posted by: Zombie Michael Brown at August 25, 2016 07:17 PM (VAsIq)

115 The habitable zone is for immediate loading and unloading of passengers only. There is no stopping in the forbidden zone.

Posted by: Count de Monet at August 25, 2016 07:17 PM (JO9+V)

116 Microscopic black holes capable of incredible destructive force may be zipping around the universe like invisible million ton bullets.

See? I told you!

Posted by: Don Lemon at August 25, 2016 07:18 PM (7qAYi)

117
Venus has runaway global warming. The atmosphere is carbon dioxide, and sulferic acid. Atmospheric pressure at the surface will crush anything not designed to withstand the pressure, and is able to remain sealed in a highly acidic environment. And the surface temperature is high enough to melt led.

You might be able to float some kind of habitat somewhere in the upper atmosphere the same way a submarine maneuvers through the earth's oceans. But that is all speculation. Any resource gathering you might do on the planetary surface would be technically difficult with our current state of materials science.

But we have a billion or so years to work on it. If we can stay focused.

Posted by: Timothy Hay at August 25, 2016 07:18 PM (2THCd)

118 Hey I know!! Let's launch a spaceship to it containing a typical American family of supersmart overachievers, plus a handsome pilot, and a robot.

-
Oh, that's right. Let's go all cis-normative, Mr. White Privilege.

Posted by: Anonosaurus Wrecks, Now With More Je Ne Sais Quoi! at August 25, 2016 07:18 PM (Nwg0u)

119 I sense that by finding worlds other than our own, man will chase the twin demons of superstition and German scat porn from the realm of acceptable public discourse.

Posted by: Neil deGrasse Tyson at August 25, 2016 07:19 PM (8ZskC)

120 Hey I know!! Let's launch a spaceship to it containing a typical American family of supersmart overachievers, plus a handsome pilot, and a robot.

Needs an elderly gay man.

Posted by: Irwin Allen at August 25, 2016 07:19 PM (vP09u)

121
So you're saying that is was one of those pesky Microscopic Black Holes that slammed into Frau Gruppencankles' bathroom server and deleted a shitload of convenient emails.

Posted by: IllTemperedCur at August 25, 2016 07:19 PM (LuZz8)

122 The cosmos has a fever.

Posted by: Neil Tyson of Grass at August 25, 2016 07:20 PM (Tyii7)

123 Needs an elderly gay man.

Posted by: Irwin Allen

That's what we've been saying for years!

Posted by: NAMBLA at August 25, 2016 07:20 PM (VAsIq)

124
Only if they bring along a senselessly hostile and corrupt sneaky scumbag who tries constantly to ruin everything for not reason.

You forgot gay

Posted by: Dr.Zachary Smith at August 25, 2016 07:20 PM (lKyWE)

125 115 The habitable zone is for immediate loading and unloading of passengers only. There is no stopping in the forbidden zone.
Posted by: Count de Monet at August 25, 2016 07:17 PM (JO9+V)

You want me to have an abortion, don't you?

Posted by: josephistan at August 25, 2016 07:20 PM (7qAYi)

126 So, this planet is very close in astronomical terms, yet SETI hasn't gotten any signals.

Maybe SETI isn't collecting data from that position and needs to do so.

Oh crap, wait. That would be profiling. Haram, um I mean forbidden.

Posted by: Meremortal at August 25, 2016 07:20 PM (3myMJ)

127 The cosmos has a fever.

Posted by: Neil Tyson of Grass

*takes a deep breath*
Okay.

Posted by: Cowbell at August 25, 2016 07:20 PM (VAsIq)

128 Hey I know!! Let's launch a spaceship to it containing a typical
American family of supersmart overachievers, plus a handsome pilot, and a
robot.

If the family includes Mimi Rogers and Heather Graham, I'm stowing away aboard.

Posted by: zero-G bosoms at August 25, 2016 07:20 PM (5dRGy)

129 The thing to be careful of if it is indeed habitable by humans. We cannot allow too many people on one side, we'll tip that fucker over!

Posted by: Minnfidel at August 25, 2016 07:21 PM (8dC42)

130 117
And the surface temperature is high enough to melt led.
Posted by: Timothy Hay at August 25, 2016 07:18 PM (2THCd)

Guess we won't be touring there anytime soon.

Posted by: Robert Plant at August 25, 2016 07:22 PM (sdi6R)

131 You're not getting off this planet. I have, like most women, no interest in math or science. The Clinton Global Initiative is confined to shaking down the inhabitants of this planet. Once we've finished our work here, *then* we'll talk.

Posted by: Hillary Clinton at August 25, 2016 07:22 PM (ZFUt7)

132 At least we don't have to put all of our annihilation eggs in the SMOD basket.

Posted by: Mr Macca Bean at August 25, 2016 07:22 PM (4ng05)

133 I was forced to lie about the sea monkeys.

Posted by: Neil Tyson deChicken at August 25, 2016 07:23 PM (Tyii7)

134 Only if they bring along a senselessly hostile and corrupt sneaky scumbag who tries constantly to ruin everything for not reason.
Posted by: Christopher Taylor

Oh the pain, the pain...

Posted by: Dr. TFG at August 25, 2016 07:23 PM (xhqXI)

135 Earth is a space station and we are here to go. Burroughs was right.

Posted by: Your Decidedly Devious Uncle Palpatine, Still Accepting Harem Applicants at August 25, 2016 07:23 PM (lutOX)

136 >>You want me to have an abortion, don't you?

It's really the only sensible thing to do.

Posted by: JackStraw at August 25, 2016 07:23 PM (/tuJf)

137 "Habitable zone" is a scientific term, meaning nothing more than it is within the broad range in which human life could conceivably survive. There's no indication whether one could do so comfortably, or could do anything more than just scrape by.

Technically, Detroit is also in the "habitable zone," but you're not going to see me move there anytime soon, either.

Posted by: Qoheleth at August 25, 2016 07:23 PM (iIzG7)

138 Sea Monkeys are actually just brine shrimp from the Great Salt Lake!

Posted by: Mormon Sea Monkeys at August 25, 2016 07:23 PM (VAsIq)

139 Can I get the coordinates of Bill Nye's cranium? I can direct microscopic black holes with this new app I got.

Posted by: Dave at Buffalo Roam at August 25, 2016 07:24 PM (LIaQb)

140
Any post having to do with manned spaceflight is incomplete without Kate Upton in zero G.

http://tinyurl.com/zeb43oy

Posted by: IllTemperedCur at August 25, 2016 07:24 PM (LuZz8)

141 That's no moon...!

Posted by: O.W. Kenobi at August 25, 2016 07:24 PM (vP09u)

142 Only if they bring along a senselessly hostile and
corrupt sneaky scumbag who tries constantly to ruin everything for not
reason.

You forgot gay

Posted by: Dr.Zachary Smith at August 25, 2016 07:20 PM (lKyWE)

I should have secretly tossed you out of the airlock from the get go. Then gone back below and banged the everlovin' tar out of Judy Robinson.

Posted by: Don West at August 25, 2016 07:24 PM (JO9+V)

143 Needs an elderly gay man.
---------
*snap*

That's it! All of the DNC shills remind me of Dr. Smith.

Posted by: Mike Hammer, etc., etc. at August 25, 2016 07:25 PM (RrDm2)

144 In the ads sea monkeys were completely non-denominational.

Posted by: Cicero (@cicero) at August 25, 2016 07:25 PM (8ZskC)

145 Amy Schumer is considered funny on Proxima b.

-
So it's Bizarro World.

Posted by: Anonosaurus Wrecks, Now With More Je Ne Sais Quoi! at August 25, 2016 07:25 PM (Nwg0u)

146 I should have secretly tossed you out of the airlock from the get go. Then gone back below and banged the everlovin' tar out of Judy Robinson.

Posted by: Don West

Yes, yes, so you said during filming. But it would have been a very short-lived family drama that way.

Posted by: Series Creators at August 25, 2016 07:25 PM (VAsIq)

147 The Proxima Centaurians just donated that planet to the Clinton Foundation.

That earned them some big influence over our Proxima Centaurian policy, lemme tell you!

Posted by: Hillary=> at August 25, 2016 07:26 PM (/m8T6)

148 Inhabitants of the earthlike planets?

Giant intelligent (though unsympathetic and merciless) spiders whose sole source of sustenance is oddly human shaped prey.

Posted by: Mr Macca Bean at August 25, 2016 07:26 PM (4ng05)

149 If that planet is Earth-ish, then people should go there and settle the North America-ish and South America-ish continents first, then send in a Santa Maria-ish spaceship later to wipe them all out.

(I think that's what they're implying with the quotation marks.)

Posted by: FireHorse at August 25, 2016 07:26 PM (EUDLj)

150 I coined a new word for the celebrity science types like NDT and Bill Nye: "Sci-lebrities."

Every time you use that, I get three cents.

Posted by: Mr. Peebles at August 25, 2016 07:27 PM (vP09u)

151 Giant intelligent (though unsympathetic and merciless) spiders whose sole source of sustenance is oddly human shaped prey.

Posted by: Mr Macca Bean

On second thought, let's not go to Proxima Centauri. 'Tis a silly place.

Posted by: Arthur, King of the Astronauts at August 25, 2016 07:27 PM (VAsIq)

152 Wow, I'm really excited you guys! This means there is life on other planets and there is no God!!!!!!

Posted by: Science Guy at August 25, 2016 07:27 PM (3GFMN)

153 Sea Monkeys are actually just brine shrimp from the Great Salt Lake!

They're finger lickin' good.

Posted by: Neil Tyson deChicken at August 25, 2016 07:28 PM (Tyii7)

154 Heh...go watch 'Pandora,' bitches......

Posted by: Your Decidedly Devious Uncle Palpatine, Still Accepting Harem Applicants at August 25, 2016 07:28 PM (lutOX)

155 Note for Huma:

Wasn't Proxima B Centauri the planet that contributed 20 million Imperial Credits to us in exchange for the dilithium crystal mining rights?

If so, would you please wipe them out with BleachBit?

Posted by: Hillary at August 25, 2016 07:28 PM (PL2OL)

156 I sense that with the first mention of Uranus, this thread has taken a decidedly ugly turn.

Posted by: Neil deGrasse Tyson at August 25, 2016 07:28 PM (8ZskC)

157 "The atmosphere is carbon dioxide, and sulferic acid."

It's my favorite quiet-time recharge spot!

Posted by: Reptillian Alien Hillary at August 25, 2016 07:28 PM (3myMJ)

158 Don't pack your bags just yet. SETI has just announced that they have detected a radio signal from Proxima Centauri. For some strange reason, the Centaurians refer to that Earth-ish planet at "R'lyeh."

Posted by: Qoheleth at August 25, 2016 07:28 PM (iIzG7)

159 Hmm. 1.3 times earths gravity. Does that make it harder or easier to climb nine inches into a limousine? Or empty a colonoscopy bag?

Asking for a friend.

Posted by: Hillary Clinton at August 25, 2016 07:29 PM (ZFUt7)

160 I sense that with the first mention of Uranus, this thread has taken a decidedly ugly turn.

Posted by: Neil deGrasse Tyson

Toxic. Noxious.

Posted by: Turd Ferguson at August 25, 2016 07:29 PM (VAsIq)

161 I claim this planet in the name of Alt-right.

Posted by: Mr Macca Bean at August 25, 2016 07:29 PM (4ng05)

162 We have nothing to fear from the giant man eating spiders of Proxima B.

We've polluted our environment with DDT. It's in our food supply, in our bodies. They can't eat us, the DDT in our bones would kill them.

And mercury too, and other chemicals.

Posted by: Timothy Hay at August 25, 2016 07:29 PM (2THCd)

163 I coined a new word for the celebrity science types like NDT and Bill Nye: "Sci-lebrities."

Every time you use that, I get three cents.

SAVERS TIP: "Shitbag" is free. It's in the public domain!

Posted by: Cicero (@cicero) at August 25, 2016 07:30 PM (8ZskC)

164 I claim this planet in the name of Alt-right.

Posted by: Mr Macca Bean

*flies back to earth sadly*

Posted by: Cuck Ferguson at August 25, 2016 07:30 PM (VAsIq)

165 Then gone back below and banged the everlovin' tar out of Judy Robinson.

Danger!!11!! *flaps dryer vent hoses*

Posted by: The Robot at August 25, 2016 07:30 PM (Tyii7)

166 Microscopic black holes you say?

There is Niven's 'The Hole Man' but that one is set on Mars.

'The Krone Experiment' is set on and through the Earth. A man-made micro black hole is falling through the crust eating.

Posted by: Anna Puma at August 25, 2016 07:31 PM (A73dY)

167 Then gone back below and banged the everlovin' tar out of Judy Robinson.

------------------
Danger!!11!! *faps with dryer vent hoses*

Posted by: The Robot

*edited slightly*

Posted by: Turd Ferguson at August 25, 2016 07:31 PM (VAsIq)

168 On second thought, let's not go to Proxima Centauri. 'Tis a silly place.
Posted by: Arthur, King of the Astronauts at August 25, 2016 07:27 PM (VAsIq)

When danger reared it's ugly head, brave Sir Arthur turned and fled. Brave, brave Sir Arthur.

Posted by: Mr Macca Bean at August 25, 2016 07:31 PM (4ng05)

169 Then gone back below and banged the everlovin' tar out of Judy Robinson.

The word around the galaxy is that her thermal exhaust port has no shielding whatsoever.

Posted by: Cicero (@cicero) at August 25, 2016 07:31 PM (8ZskC)

170 We have nothing to fear from the giant man eating spiders of Proxima B.

We've polluted our environment with DDT. It's in our food supply, in our bodies. They can't eat us, the DDT in our bones would kill them.

And mercury too, and other chemicals.
Posted by: Timothy Hay at August 25, 2016 07:29 PM (2THCd)

all that and the stoopid will keep them away

mostly teh stoopid

Posted by: ghost of hallelujah at August 25, 2016 07:31 PM (oAY8z)

171 141 That's no moon...!
Posted by: O.W. Kenobi at August 25, 2016 07:24 PM (vP09u)

Aren't we done with the Hope Solo jokes by now?

Posted by: josephistan at August 25, 2016 07:32 PM (7qAYi)

172 'Aren't we done with the Hope Solo jokes by now?'

I predict a hole lot more.

Posted by: Hope Solo at August 25, 2016 07:33 PM (BO/km)

173 Colin Powell told Proxima B Centaurians to kick some off-worlder ass and collect their souls in a delicious pie crust.

Posted by: Fritz at August 25, 2016 07:33 PM (HVQlX)

174 Aren't we done with the Hope Solo jokes by now?

Posted by: josephistan

Ugh, right? But they'll probably squeak a few more through.

Posted by: Turd Ferguson at August 25, 2016 07:33 PM (VAsIq)

175 Triggers, Will Robinson!!11!!

Posted by: The Millennial Robot at August 25, 2016 07:34 PM (Tyii7)

176 Who is it that sings "Moon over My Ami?"

Posted by: Timothy Hay at August 25, 2016 07:34 PM (2THCd)

177 Triggers, Will Robinson!!11!!

Posted by: The Millennial Robot

Sit down and shut up.

Posted by: University of Chicago at August 25, 2016 07:34 PM (VAsIq)

178
The word around the galaxy is that her thermal exhaust port has no shielding whatsoever.

What about Penny's? just asking.

Posted by: Will Robinson at August 25, 2016 07:34 PM (lKyWE)

179 I can sell them colonists all they need for farmin' on Proxima b.

Posted by: Mr Haney at August 25, 2016 07:34 PM (JO9+V)

180 I'm the World's Best Sandwich Maker!!

because I never skimp on the meat

Posted by: Hope Solo at August 25, 2016 07:35 PM (oAY8z)

181 Who is it that sings "Moon over My Ami?"

Don Hole.

Posted by: The Millennial Robot at August 25, 2016 07:35 PM (Tyii7)

182 Ask your doctor if Proxima b is right for you.

Posted by: Weasel at August 25, 2016 07:35 PM (Sfs6o)

183 141 That's no moon...!

Posted by: O.W. Kenobi at August 25, 2016 07:24 PM (vP09u)

Aren't we done with the Hope Solo jokes by now?

Posted by: josephistan at August 25, 2016 07:32 PM (7qAYi)

Thought we were doing Kardashian jokes still.

Posted by: Count de Monet at August 25, 2016 07:36 PM (JO9+V)

184 So someone needs to get out there in a hell of a hurry before the anti-everything crowd gets there.

How does one crowdfund two guys, a rocket, and a Gadsden flag?

Posted by: JEM at August 25, 2016 07:37 PM (o+SC1)

185 Ask your doctor if Proxima b is right for you.

Posted by: Weasel

9 out of 10 doctors agreed--Proxima B is out of this world!

Posted by: Turd Ferguson at August 25, 2016 07:37 PM (VAsIq)

186 If you go to Proxima b, remember to defang the womp rats first.

Posted by: Richard Gere at August 25, 2016 07:37 PM (xhqXI)

187 We should go to Proxima b and drop a big-ass black monolith on it. It'll drive the monkeys crazy.

Posted by: Arthur C. Clarke at August 25, 2016 07:37 PM (8ZskC)

188 Does Proxima b have surf?

Posted by: wth at August 25, 2016 07:37 PM (HgMAr)

189 For a change of pace, check out this 20 year old Canadian chess star Alexandra Botez. She's no cake girl but she's probably smarter

http://tinyurl.com/gul9rbp

Posted by: Christopher Taylor at August 25, 2016 07:37 PM (39g3+)

190 If you go to Proxima b, remember to defang the womp rats first.

Posted by: Richard Gere

"Womp rats used to bulls-eye me in my T-16 (iykwim) back home!"

Posted by: Turd Ferguson at August 25, 2016 07:38 PM (VAsIq)

191 "You have reached the transmitting signal for the Big Giant Head. All Big Giant circuits are busy right now. Please stay on the line... (singing) doo doo doo..."

Posted by: Mike Hammer, etc., etc. at August 25, 2016 07:38 PM (RrDm2)

192 I take comfort in knowing that when the Proxima Centurians attack, we are led my a... ahem... man who will fire warning shots. Of course he will pay them first.

Posted by: Mr Macca Bean at August 25, 2016 07:38 PM (4ng05)

193 Does Proxima b have surf?

ET doesn't surf.

Posted by: Col. Kilgore at August 25, 2016 07:38 PM (8ZskC)

194 When the Lost In Space movie came out, I more than half expected Major West to thaw Judy out of her suspended animation tube, and greet her with "How YOU doin'?"

Posted by: Qoheleth at August 25, 2016 07:39 PM (iIzG7)

195 >> http://tinyurl.com/gul9rbp

Cute enough. Suggest she doesn't stay in an Australian hostel around any French Muslims.

Posted by: JEM at August 25, 2016 07:39 PM (o+SC1)

196 Gee...too bad we pissed away hundreds of billions of dollars to feed, clothe, and house people whose only contribution to the nation is keeping the prison industry busy.

Just imagine if we HADN'T scrapped the Saturn V line, and had even dared build Orion ships and more....

Talk about dodging a bullet......

Posted by: Your Decidedly Devious Uncle Palpatine, Still Accepting Harem Applicants at August 25, 2016 07:39 PM (lutOX)

197 We should go to Proxima b and drop a big-ass black monolith on it. It'll drive the monkeys crazy.
Posted by: Arthur C. Clarke

"All these planets are yours, just stay away from the one called Arby's."

Posted by: weft cut-monolith at August 25, 2016 07:39 PM (V3IFq)

198 189 For a change of pace, check out this 20 year old Canadian chess star Alexandra Botez. She's no cake girl but she's probably smarter

http://tinyurl.com/gul9rbp
Posted by: Christopher Taylor at August 25, 2016 07:37 PM (39g3+)

Playing against her would be...distracting.

Posted by: rickl at August 25, 2016 07:39 PM (sdi6R)

199 Are there cats on Proxima b?

Posted by: ALF at August 25, 2016 07:39 PM (JO9+V)

200 182 Ask your doctor if Proxima b is right for you.
Posted by: Weasel at August 25, 2016 07:35 PM (Sfs6o)

Proxima B may cause depression, incontinence or erectile dysfunction. Do not handle broken Proxima B. Do not taunt Proxima B. Do not look in a mirror & say "Proxima B" three times.

Posted by: josephistan at August 25, 2016 07:40 PM (7qAYi)

201 Are there cats on Proxima b?

Posted by: ALF

Ha! You kill me!

Posted by: Turd Ferguson at August 25, 2016 07:40 PM (VAsIq)

202 We should send ShitMidas there to gin up some bullshit grievances between the whites and the greys.

Posted by: Cicero (@cicero) at August 25, 2016 07:41 PM (8ZskC)

203 Hillary! dresses like Dr. Zaius.

Posted by: Weasel at August 25, 2016 07:42 PM (Sfs6o)

204 "Astronomers have discovered a roughly Earth-size alien world around Proxima Centauri..."

Yes, but was anyone wearing an inappropriate shirt?

Posted by: SJWs at August 25, 2016 07:42 PM (VAsIq)

205 Only if they bring along a senselessly hostile and corrupt sneaky scumbag who tries constantly to ruin everything for not reason.

Obama?

Posted by: Johnny at August 25, 2016 07:42 PM (I1KBZ)

206 Does Proxima b need women?

Posted by: wth at August 25, 2016 07:43 PM (HgMAr)

207 150 I coined a new word for the celebrity science types like NDT and Bill Nye: "Sci-lebrities."

Every time you use that, I get three cents.
Posted by: Mr. Peebles at August 25, 2016 07:27 PM (vP09u)

I think lying sacks of dog shit works nicely too.

Posted by: Killerdog at August 25, 2016 07:43 PM (rdUX3)

208 >> Just imagine if we HADN'T scrapped the Saturn V
>> line, and had even dared build Orion ships and
>> more....

It would take about six weeks to get the Saturn V into production and a year to get it flying. If there were the political will. And if it were REALLY the right thing to do. It's kinda the T-Rex of the space biz, big motor small brain.

I'm comfortable with what the privateers are doing now. If you want to go a long way then you pick two or three and throw them a competitive contract the way it used to be done.

Posted by: JEM at August 25, 2016 07:43 PM (o+SC1)

209 Hillary! dresses like Dr. Zaius.
Posted by: Weasel

Just because:
https://youtu.be/M2E1m90YSpA

Posted by: Prince Ludwig the #Problematic at August 25, 2016 07:43 PM (xhqXI)

210 The Reverend Al Sharpton held a press conference earlier today where he outlined all the ways the Proxima Centaurians (or "Proxmull Centaurs" as the good reverend called them) have oppressed and aggrieved African Americans and demanded restitution.

Posted by: Turd Ferguson at August 25, 2016 07:44 PM (VAsIq)

211 #DicksOutForZaius

Posted by: josephistan at August 25, 2016 07:44 PM (7qAYi)

212
I'm comfortable with what the privateers are doing now. If you want to go a long way then you pick two or three and throw them a competitive contract the way it used to be done.
Posted by: JEM at August 25, 2016 07:43 PM (o+SC1)
***
Yes, low-earth-orbit payloads.

That's totes the future.

Posted by: Your Decidedly Devious Uncle Palpatine, Still Accepting Harem Applicants at August 25, 2016 07:45 PM (lutOX)

213 I love you Doctor Zaius!

Posted by: Christopher Taylor at August 25, 2016 07:45 PM (39g3+)

214 Microscopic Black Holes? Raaaacist.

Posted by: Adobe Juan Kenobe at August 25, 2016 07:45 PM (CX88n)

215 g'early evenin', 'rons

Posted by: AltonJackson at August 25, 2016 07:45 PM (dWUAh)

216 >> I'm comfortable with what the privateers are doing
>> now. If you want to go a long way then you pick
>> two or three and throw them a competitive contract
>> the way it used to be done.

Oh, and open-source the F-5 motor and put all the drawings up on the 'net as a bunch of Solidworks models.

Posted by: JEM at August 25, 2016 07:45 PM (o+SC1)

217 Won't you be, won't you be, won't you be my neighbor?

Posted by: Mr. Rogerffflxnar'ak'zaa at August 25, 2016 07:46 PM (H9MG5)

218 Microscopic Black Holes? Naw, man--Black Holes are hung.

Posted by: A Frican American at August 25, 2016 07:46 PM (VAsIq)

219 Bad news, friends. The new high-resolution pictures of the planet at Proxima Centauri have been uploaded from the Hubble Space Telescope. It looks like an Amazon delivery truck has arrived in low orbit there, and they're delivering a large brown box labeled "Illudium Q-36 Explosive Space Modulator."

Posted by: Qoheleth at August 25, 2016 07:46 PM (iIzG7)

220 Oh, and open-source the F-5 motor and put all the drawings up on the 'net as a bunch of Solidworks models.

I'd like to get one of those F-5s installed on the Trans Am.

Posted by: Joe Biden at August 25, 2016 07:46 PM (8ZskC)

221 Yes, low-earth-orbit payloads.

That's totes the future.
Posted by: Your Decidedly Devious Uncle Palpatine

Yes, because the moon shot was the first mission into space.

Posted by: weft cut-monolith at August 25, 2016 07:46 PM (V3IFq)

222
Oh, and open-source the F-5 motor and put all the drawings up on the 'net as a bunch of Solidworks models.
Posted by: JEM at August 25, 2016 07:45 PM (o+SC1)
****
Forgive my earlier snark - THAT I could go for.

Posted by: Your Decidedly Devious Uncle Palpatine, Still Accepting Harem Applicants at August 25, 2016 07:46 PM (lutOX)

223 Yes, because the moon shot was the first mission into space.

Posted by: weft cut-monolith

Really? That was lucky!

Posted by: LIV at August 25, 2016 07:47 PM (VAsIq)

224 Huma has entered the Forbidden Zone!

Posted by: Weasel at August 25, 2016 07:47 PM (Sfs6o)

225 Yes, because the moon shot was the first mission into space.
Posted by: weft cut-monolith at August 25, 2016 07:46 PM (V3IFq)
***
Silly me. I'd assumed that once man had mastered fire, he wouldn't have to go back to the time before it.

Posted by: Your Decidedly Devious Uncle Palpatine, Still Accepting Harem Applicants at August 25, 2016 07:47 PM (lutOX)

226 SEND MORE AMY SCHUMER

Posted by: A Message from Proxima B at August 25, 2016 07:48 PM (8ZskC)

227 Microscopic Black Holes? Naw, man--Black Holes are hung.

Posted by: A Frican American at August 25, 2016 07:46 PM (VAsIq)

Space is cold!
Yeah, and deep, too!

Posted by: 2 Black Holes taking a leak at August 25, 2016 07:48 PM (JO9+V)

228 >> I'd like to get one of those F-5s installed on the
>> Trans Am.
>> Posted by: Joe Biden at August 25, 2016 07:46 PM

The only way you're going to get on Mt Rushmore is as a splat. Amazon has great deals on scrapers and scrub brushes.

Posted by: JEM at August 25, 2016 07:48 PM (o+SC1)

229 >>>She's no cake girl but she's probably smarter<<<

Bishop to Queen's level one, - just the tip, dear.

Posted by: Fritz at August 25, 2016 07:48 PM (HVQlX)

230 Huma has entered the Forbidden Zone!
Posted by: Weasel

And what would you call that zone if it were really dangerous?

Posted by: Sterling Archer at August 25, 2016 07:49 PM (xhqXI)

231 SEND MORE AMY SCHUMER

Posted by: A Message from Proxima B

Okay, but just her left thigh is going to be a bitch to get out of the gravity well!

Posted by: NASA at August 25, 2016 07:49 PM (VAsIq)

232 Say, next time we send an astronaut up to the orbital RV that is the space station, make sure you thank the Russians, 'cause they're the only ones putting men in orbit these days.

pathetic.....

Posted by: Your Decidedly Devious Uncle Palpatine, Still Accepting Harem Applicants at August 25, 2016 07:49 PM (lutOX)

233 ***
Silly me. I'd assumed that once man had mastered fire, he wouldn't have to go back to the time before it.
Posted by: Your Decidedly Devious Uncle Palpatine

Fire's cheap.

A Federal Reserve ain't.

Posted by: weft cut-monolith at August 25, 2016 07:50 PM (V3IFq)

234 Crap. More reading on the Little Ice Age:

https://nextgrandminimum.files.wordpress.com/2016/07/little_ice_age_theory.pdf

Floods, famine, pestilence!

Eskimos in Scotland!

We need a thread on dealing with the coming winter. Maybe fat reduction isn't such a good thing *fingers crossed*

Posted by: All Hail Eris, Literate Savage at August 25, 2016 07:50 PM (jR7Wy)

235 Silly me. I'd assumed that once man had mastered fire, he wouldn't have to go back to the time before it.
Posted by: Your Decidedly Devious Uncle Palpatine

*shifty eyes*
Yeah. Forcing mankind back to the stone-age in the name of global warming would be ridiculous.

Posted by: the international Left at August 25, 2016 07:51 PM (VAsIq)

236 We need a thread on dealing with the coming winter.

Here's a little secret. It really isn't coming.

Posted by: George R.R.R.r. Martin at August 25, 2016 07:51 PM (8ZskC)

237 Heh, day after Dr Drew says he's "gravely concerned" about Hillary's health... his show gets canceled off CNN's HLN. He had poor ratings, but he's had them for a while now, and other than endless reruns of Forensic Files, everything on HLN has low ratings.

Posted by: Christopher Taylor at August 25, 2016 07:51 PM (39g3+)

238 "Say, next time we send an astronaut up to the orbital RV that is the space station, make sure you thank the Russians..."

If there's anything up there that looks like an RV, check you see if the co-pilot looks like a dog and they've got a princess from Druidia on board.

Posted by: Qoheleth at August 25, 2016 07:52 PM (iIzG7)

239 SEND MORE AMY SCHUMER

Posted by: A Message from Proxima B

4.3000001 light years later... NO MORE AMY SCHUMER

Posted by: free range 'sorta' conservative at August 25, 2016 07:52 PM (ZFUt7)

240 So - the future is in the past, eh?

As I age, it seems that way to me, more and more so. Could we, if national survival depended on it, send a man to the moon and bring him back again safely?

I doubt it.

Posted by: Your Decidedly Devious Uncle Palpatine, Still Accepting Harem Applicants at August 25, 2016 07:52 PM (lutOX)

241 >> Say, next time we send an astronaut up to the
>> orbital RV that is the space station, make sure you
>> thank the Russians,

You thank them for bringing them back.

Thanking them for sending our astronauts up is like thanking the Iranians for taking our patrol boats.

Oh damn, that's a cynical remark.

But would you send Americans into orbit on an Iranian rocket?

I bet Ojarrett would try.

Posted by: JEM at August 25, 2016 07:52 PM (o+SC1)

242 187 We should go to Proxima b and drop a big-ass black monolith on it. It'll drive the monkeys crazy.

OMG that's the funniest thing I've read in a long time.

Posted by: Johnny at August 25, 2016 07:53 PM (I1KBZ)

243
If there's anything up there that looks like an RV, check you see if the co-pilot looks like a dog and they've got a princess from Druidia on board.
Posted by: Qoheleth at August 25, 2016 07:52 PM (iIzG7)

***
Funny... she doesn't look Druish.

Posted by: Your Decidedly Devious Uncle Palpatine, Still Accepting Harem Applicants at August 25, 2016 07:53 PM (lutOX)

244 Heh, day after Dr Drew says he's "gravely concerned" about Hillary's health... his show gets canceled off CNN's HLN. He had poor ratings, but he's had them for a while now, and other than endless reruns of Forensic Files, everything on HLN has low ratings.

Posted by: Christopher Taylor

Hey! People remembered Dr. Drew! This'll be a ratings bonanza!

PULL THE PLUG! CANCEL THE SHOW!

Posted by: HLN Execs, who don't understand money at August 25, 2016 07:54 PM (VAsIq)

245 >> 4.3000001 light years later... NO MORE AMY
>> SCHUMER

I'm quite fine with dumping her in liquid nitrogen for the trip.

Posted by: JEM at August 25, 2016 07:54 PM (o+SC1)

246 Proxima b is billions and billions of nautical miles away and was formed from star stuff.

Posted by: Zombie Carl Sagan at August 25, 2016 07:55 PM (JO9+V)

247 Could we, if national survival depended on it, send a man to the moon and bring him back again safely?

I doubt it.

Posted by: Your Decidedly Devious Uncle Palpatine,

Sure! We'd just have to explain that the moon is the safest of safe spaces, and we'll have the best and brightest college students working to get there.

Posted by: Turd Ferguson at August 25, 2016 07:55 PM (VAsIq)

248 Proxima B has been known to have certain side effects. Vomiting, diarrhea, anal leakage, dizziness and arterial hemorrhaging. If you experience any of these effects or have a raging hard on lasting longer than 4 days please contact your doctor immediately! Do not drink Valurite or pudding with Proxima B or take Proixma B while hobo hunting. Consult your doctor to find out if your heart is healthy enough for pudding. Make sure you tell your doctor if you are taking other medications that may cause a reaction to Proxima B. Proxima B for a more micro black hole!

Posted by: Minnfidel at August 25, 2016 07:56 PM (8dC42)

249 Sure! We'd just have to explain that the moon is the safest of safe spaces, and we'll have the best and brightest college students working to get there.
Posted by: Turd Ferguson at August 25, 2016 07:55 PM (VAsIq)

Problem - the truly best and brightest don't give a shit about safe spaces.

Posted by: Insomniac - Pale Horse/Death 2016 at August 25, 2016 07:56 PM (0mRoj)

250 >>>We should go to Proxima b and drop a big-ass black monolith on it. It'll drive the monkeys crazy.<<<

This has all been done before.

youtube.com/watch?v=t_KXgFpguE0&feature=player_detailpage#t=19

Posted by: Fritz at August 25, 2016 07:57 PM (HVQlX)

251 "SEND MORE AMY SCHUMER"

Do it.

And then nuke it from orbit. It's the only way to be sure.

Posted by: Ricardo Kill at August 25, 2016 07:57 PM (agvMi)

252 "... and we'll have the best and brightest college students working to get there."

The problem with that is that the best and brightest students in our colleges are from Taiwan and India.

Posted by: Qoheleth at August 25, 2016 07:57 PM (iIzG7)

253 Problem - the truly best and brightest don't give a shit about safe spaces.

Posted by: Insomniac

Sorry--should have been "the best and brightest college students working to get their idiot classmates there."

Posted by: Turd Ferguson at August 25, 2016 07:58 PM (VAsIq)

254 252 "... and we'll have the best and brightest college students working to get there."

The problem with that is that the best and brightest students in our colleges are from Taiwan and India.
Posted by: Qoheleth at August 25, 2016 07:57 PM (iIzG7)
***
Bt the many arms of Vishnu, you speak lies, lah.

Posted by: Your Decidedly Devious Uncle Palpatine, Still Accepting Harem Applicants at August 25, 2016 07:59 PM (lutOX)

255 "Funny... she doesn't look Druish. "

What's that supposed to mean?

Posted by: Druish Anti-Defamation League at August 25, 2016 07:59 PM (agvMi)

256 who is up to talking about bill clinton ? new thread

Posted by: runner at August 25, 2016 07:59 PM (c6/9Q)

257 How long does it take to get there, assuming you're in a space vehicle that is designed to go places?

Posted by: grammie winger at August 25, 2016 08:00 PM (dFi94)

258
What happened to Proxima A, then?

Posted by: Mister Magoo's at August 25, 2016 08:00 PM (0IkTk)

259 NOOD. Journalist discovers that Bill Clinton is allegedly an adulterer.

Posted by: Qoheleth at August 25, 2016 08:00 PM (iIzG7)

260 Well, this doesn't belong on the nood thread, but we were talking about dreams last night, and early this morning I had a doozy. There was a big party at my house. Not a wild party, just a bunch of people of various ages standing around talking. I didn't know any of them, yet I didn't find that disturbing. There were a number of odd details, like a coat hanger with a long downward-pointing spike whose purpose I did not understand.

It was raining heavily, and at one point I noticed water flowing in the living room. That meant the sump pump had stopped working. I frantically went through my dad's old rolodex looking for the plumber he used to use.

About that time I heard a persistent beeping. There were several small pager-like devices scattered around the house. No sooner would I shut one off than another one would start, and I had to go looking for it. I still hadn't found the name of the plumber.

Eventually I realized that the beeping was coming from my alarm clock. Time to wake up!

One other thing: Several years ago I dreamed that I opened a door in my house and discovered an entire floor that I never knew existed. It was mostly empty, but there were a few items of furniture. The rooms were spacious. One had a fireplace, and there was even an exterior entrance. The rooms looked like they had been abandoned for decades. That was one of the strangest and most vivid dreams I've ever had. It wasn't a nightmare. I was fascinated by the discovery. I should have written about that one in last night's thread but didn't think of it.

That "mystery floor" has made appearances in other subsequent dreams, including the one this morning.

Posted by: rickl at August 25, 2016 08:02 PM (sdi6R)

261 Me and Hobbes has been there and it's meh.

Posted by: Spaceman Spiff at August 25, 2016 08:02 PM (WqEER)

262 Hey, whatever happened to CAC's astrology posts?

Posted by: All Hail Eris, Literate Savage at August 25, 2016 08:02 PM (jR7Wy)

263 As I age, it seems that way to me, more and more so. Could we, if national survival depended on it, send a man to the moon and bring him back again safely?

I doubt it.
Posted by: Your Decidedly Devious Uncle Palpatine

I don't.

Would be nice to know if that 'survival' could be determined by actual data as opposed to political campaigns based on modeling. That said...

There's no technical barrier or shortage of competent workers to go to the moon or farther.

It's just that

A ) you'd need a threat that is equal to international communism of the mid 20th century,

B ) a populace serious enough to appreciate the threat,

C ) the unlimited funding that is provided by a Federal Reserve.

C is the advantage the Apollo program had over private efforts now. And the idea that over-all space tech is regressing because of that is nothing short of an angle greater than 90.

Posted by: weft cut-monolith at August 25, 2016 08:02 PM (V3IFq)

264 257 How long does it take to get there, assuming you're in a space vehicle that is designed to go places?
Posted by: grammie winger at August 25, 2016 08:00 PM (dFi94)

I believe it would take thousands of years with our current technology.

Posted by: rickl at August 25, 2016 08:03 PM (sdi6R)

265 The problem with that is that the best and brightest students in our colleges are from Taiwan and India.
Posted by: Qoheleth at August 25, 2016 07:57 PM (iIzG7)
---
So why do they have to come to Big Dumb America?

Posted by: All Hail Eris, Literate Savage at August 25, 2016 08:04 PM (jR7Wy)

266 I believe it would take thousands of years with our current technology.

Posted by: rickl at August 25, 2016 08:03 PM (sdi6R)
============================================

Well, I'm in my sixties. Better not send me then.

Posted by: grammie winger at August 25, 2016 08:04 PM (dFi94)

267
Damn. Just had a wild turkey stroll across the front yard. I went out to take his picture, and he ran across the highway, right in front of a big truck.

Posted by: Timothy Hayfield at August 25, 2016 08:04 PM (3eKxw)

268 China says that they are going to be mining the moon in just a few short years, paid for with our debt payments and insatiable consumer driven egotism. We are out of money, we aren't going anywhere. But we'll look good and have a bunch of stuff while we do it.

Posted by: Tinfoilbaby at August 25, 2016 08:05 PM (6Ll1u)

269 258
What happened to Proxima A, then?
Posted by: Mister Magoo's at August 25, 2016 08:00 PM (0IkTk)
-------------
I don't think we're supposed to talk about Proxima A.

Posted by: Weasel at August 25, 2016 08:06 PM (Sfs6o)

270 267 It's still good for casserole.

Posted by: Johnny at August 25, 2016 08:07 PM (I1KBZ)

271 269 258
What happened to Proxima A, then?
Posted by: Mister Magoo's at August 25, 2016 08:00 PM (0IkTk)
-------------
I don't think we're supposed to talk about Proxima A.
Posted by: Weasel at August 25, 2016 08:06 PM (Sfs6o)

Are you Sirius?

Posted by: josephistan at August 25, 2016 08:08 PM (7qAYi)

272 Proxima A is a composite planet

Posted by: Count de Monet at August 25, 2016 08:10 PM (JO9+V)

273 This is a much more interesting thread than the newer one. It was just getting going.

Posted by: rickl at August 25, 2016 08:13 PM (sdi6R)

274 269 258
What happened to Proxima A, then?
Posted by: Mister Magoo's at August 25, 2016 08:00 PM (0IkTk)
-------------
I don't think we're supposed to talk about Proxima A.
Posted by: Weasel at August 25, 2016 08:06 PM (Sfs6o)

The first rule of Proxima A club is you do not talk about Proxima A club.

Posted by: Insomniac at August 25, 2016 08:15 PM (0mRoj)

275 Agreed, Rickl. What more can be said on Clinton affairs de Coors?

Posted by: All Hail Eris, Literate Savage at August 25, 2016 08:15 PM (jR7Wy)

276 263
And the idea that over-all space tech is regressing because of that is nothing short of an angle greater than 90.
Posted by: weft cut-monolith at August 25, 2016 08:02 PM (V3IFq)

Landing the first stage of a large rocket on a floating platform in Earth's gravity while fighting crosswinds--completely automated--is a hella lot more difficult than landing a small piloted lander on dry land with no wind in the Moon's gravity.

Posted by: rickl at August 25, 2016 08:17 PM (sdi6R)

277 If you had a Saturn V in space and pointed in the direction of Prox B how long would it take you to get there once you set it off? All 5 stages?

Posted by: freaked at August 25, 2016 08:17 PM (BO/km)

278 0.05 AU orbit, 11 & 1/2 day period. Works out to sunlight levels between Earth and Mars, given how dim Proxima Centauri is. If it has a decent magnetic field it should have liquid water and be in decent shape. Surface gravity is probably Earthlike, too; it's a bit more massive, but gravity is proportional to the cube root of mass if density is similar.

Given the orbit, it would either be tidally locked or in a 3/2 ratio with its orbit (rotates three times every two years) depending on how eccentric the orbit is. If it's tidally locked then its star just sits there in the sky, more or less motionless. If it's in a 3/2 resonance you can get much weirder apparent motions in its star. And, of course, you have its companion stars, which would be pretty bright, even if Proxima is so far from them that they're just ludicrously bright stars rather than visible discs.

As far as taking a look, it's close enough that the next generation of telescopes should be able to differentiate it from its star. James Webb Telescope could take a spectrographic reading of the thing (which would be able to distinguish an 'Earth' vs 'Venus' scenario for this planet) and the US 30-meter telescope (currently being blocked by leftist assholes) or European 30+ meter telescope could pick it out in an image with the right kind of coronagraph.

Posted by: Locarno at August 25, 2016 08:20 PM (HhYvn)

279 Course when you have to slow down so you would need a second Saturn V for a retro rocket.

Posted by: freaked at August 25, 2016 08:21 PM (BO/km)

280 279 Course when you have to slow down so you would need a second Saturn V for a retro rocket.
Posted by: freaked at August 25, 2016 08:21 PM (BO/km)

And if you had to carry that around you'd need to start with a Saturn XXV.

Posted by: rickl at August 25, 2016 08:25 PM (sdi6R)

281 Oldest kid has informed me that ion drive has the highest specific impulse. Tossing nukes out behind you is a better option than chemical rockets.

Posted by: freaked at August 25, 2016 08:27 PM (BO/km)

282 (A "coronagraph". I feel enlightened by that.}

The planet they're talking about has an 11 day year. All our holidays jammed into 11 days. It's like a 24/7 Black Friday.

Posted by: Corona at August 25, 2016 08:29 PM (ragzU)

283 Ion engines are too slow. Hell, nukes are too slow.

The only really feasible thing we could do with current technology is:

(1) Build power plants in space
(2) Attach lasers
(3) Use the lasers to push the spacecraft, by bouncing the light off a lightsail.

Light actually has momentum (a tiny amount, but still) and a lightsail is basically just aluminum foil or trashbag material - not exactly high tech stuff. You also don't need to tote all your fuel along, since the power stations are doing the driving and they stay back near Earth. Speed is pretty much whatever you're willing to pay for up to huge chunks of lightspeed, basically limited by how much total power is on hand and how good a focus your laser pusher can have.

On the other hand, you have to build a large number of power plants in orbit. You can reuse them for more missions, but that's still a huge capital investment.

As a side note, when you're not sending stuff to the stars, the giant laser array would make one hell of a Department of Defense asset.

Posted by: Locarno at August 25, 2016 08:40 PM (HhYvn)

284 282
The planet they're talking about has an 11 day year. All our holidays jammed into 11 days. It's like a 24/7 Black Friday.
Posted by: Corona at August 25, 2016 08:29 PM (ragzU)

Everything would be cheaper because stuff would be on sale all the time.

Posted by: Paul Krugman at August 25, 2016 08:41 PM (sdi6R)

285 There was an actually an event, well the aftermath of an event that met the criteria for what a micro-black hole slamming through atmosphere and impacting the ground would likely be like.

I mean it's serious -- it's could well be that -- it had to something very tiny, but with extreme mass and density for that size.

And I was all excited about this Proxima Centauri find last night when I first stumbled across.

The "habitable zone" is the distance from a star where liquid water could likely exist.

Promixa -- it's name is such a coincidence. Why it's the closet, and thus much proximate to us, and that's what it's name. It's a red dwarf -- very low energy and the habitable zone is thus much, much closer.

The planet is at least 1.3 earth masses, upper end could be 3. It's orbital parameters aren't known. The eccentricity could be as high as 0.35 or so.

This is important. If the orbit is near 0 eccentricity, close to circular, it's going to be in 1:1 tide lock with Proxima, just like the Moon is to Earth. Now, if it's eccentric enough, then it will most likely be a 3:2 lock, just like Mercury.

If it keeps the same side to the star all the time, one side will be in perpetual daylight, the other night, and that's not too good for a climate, unless the atmosphere is thick enough to convect heat.

If it's in 3:2 resonance, then it will have a day night cycle of a few days, with the very low orbital period. It's a tight, close orbit.

Posted by: publius (not Breitbart publius) at August 25, 2016 08:50 PM (DW+jj)

286 So what you are indicating is taking out homesteading rights on Wunderland is probably premature?

Posted by: Kindltot at August 25, 2016 10:07 PM (ry34m)

287 Microscopic black holes capable of incredible destructive force may be zipping around the universe like invisible million ton bullets.
==========================
Now that's what I call hope!

Posted by: simplemind at August 26, 2016 02:46 PM (xVRrG)

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