Amy Schumer: Yes, I Have a Sex Tape, and No, I'm Not Worried About It Leaking

Jane D'oh asked for a fun thread to goof on celebrities, and Amy Schumer has delivered.

"Yes, I have a sex tape, and I'm kind of proud of it." -- Kim Kardashian, 2003

"Yes, I have a sex tape, and I'm kind of proud of it." -- Amy Schumer, inevitably, 2016

Whatever.

She loves the spotlight.

If only that love were reciprocated...

Okay, explain this to me: Every time I see Amy Schumer on a magazine cover, she's sexualized.

Amy Schumer Goes Glam and Sexy, gushes the Jezebel-like Marie Claire.

Tell me: When does she not do photo shoots which are intended to be "glam and sexy"?

This offends me as a feminist because: Why? Her job has little to do with being sexy. Why is every shot of her sexed up?

This also offends me as a non-feminist, because, look: Some people shouldn't be sexualized. Like, the Pope, and Amy Schumer, and the Orc with one arm from The Hobbit. They should just wear the normal clothes of their occupation.

The Orc with one arm from The Hobbit might want to look sexy in fencenet pantyhose but, you know, he's not the only one with a vote here.

It all reminds me of 30 Rock's Tribute to the Women of Comedy photo shoot: Pose with the rubber chicken. Now make it sexy.

Posted by: Ace at 05:08 PM




Comments

(Jump to bottom of page)

1 Amy who?

Posted by: Diogenes at August 16, 2016 05:10 PM (0tfLf)

2 Okay, explain this to me: Every time I see Amy Schumer on a magazine cover, she's sexualized.



Fat women think they can shame men into changing what they think is attractive. They wish to change the rules, so come the revolution they are hot. It's a bit funny that the left claims that gay attraction is locked in stone, based completely in biology, but what hetero males are attracted to is completely up for negotiation.

Posted by: DFCtomm at August 16, 2016 05:11 PM (7/wAA)

3 If a person is liberal, I refuse to find that person funny or attractive! Why? Tribalism.

Posted by: Reality at August 16, 2016 05:11 PM (iX06C)

4
John McLaughlin goes BYE BYE for the last time...




(He's dead.)

Posted by: Mister Magoo's at August 16, 2016 05:12 PM (74GXa)

5 Amy Schumer: I have a sex tape!

Hetrosexual males: eh, I'll pass on this one.

Posted by: Cave Johnson at August 16, 2016 05:12 PM (LyISp)

6 >>>4 If a person is liberal, I refuse to find that person funny or attractive! Why? Tribalism.
Posted by: Reality a

um... she's attractive? She's among the class of women fortunate enough to look better the less clothes they're wearing?

Posted by: ace at August 16, 2016 05:12 PM (dciA+)

7 Nobody wants to see you leaking, Amy.

Posted by: wth at August 16, 2016 05:12 PM (HgMAr)

8 Amy Schumer: I have a sex tape!

I'm gonna need a bigger TV.

Posted by: Diogenes at August 16, 2016 05:13 PM (0tfLf)

9 Fat women think they can shame men into changing what they think is attractive. They wish to change the rules, so come the revolution they are hot. It's a bit funny that the left claims that gay attraction is locked in stone, based completely in biology, but what hetero males are attracted to is completely up for negotiation.
Posted by: DFCtomm at August 16, 2016 05:11 PM (7/wAA)

Y'know, if she was just a regular girl, working behind a bar or a cashier or something, she wouldn't be unattractive. But because she has to make her appearance some kind of socio-political jihad, she'll never be appealing.

Posted by: Rorschach at August 16, 2016 05:13 PM (7HtZB)

10 Me and the dog are trying to eat dinner here.

Posted by: Ricardo Kill at August 16, 2016 05:14 PM (cAGTh)

11 next year, I will be announcing I have AIDS.

after first denying it of course.

Posted by: Amy 'One Doughnut Shy Of En-Blimpening' Schumer at August 16, 2016 05:14 PM (27KAF)

12 6 She's not gorgeous. She's ok. If she were conservative, the members of the conservative tribe would say that she's both pretty and funny.

Posted by: Reality at August 16, 2016 05:14 PM (iX06C)

13
John McCalughlin looked like he was dead for the last 10 years, tho.

He outlived Louis Rukyser, tho.

Posted by: Mister Magoo's at August 16, 2016 05:15 PM (74GXa)

14 I guess the answer is simple, ace.

Amy wants a man.

So, anyone here willing to volunteer as tribute?


Come on ... we haven't got all day

Posted by: @votermom at August 16, 2016 05:15 PM (7lVbc)

15 And I love it that any woman who isn't genuinely skinny is called fat....if she's of the other tribe, of course.

Posted by: Reality at August 16, 2016 05:15 PM (iX06C)

16 OK, I looked at some pictures, and all I can say is that Kermit the Frog is going to be pissed off.

Posted by: Vashta Nerada at August 16, 2016 05:15 PM (7ZVPa)

17 Fat women think they can shame men into changing
what they think is attractive.

Posted by: DFCtomm at August 16, 2016 05:11 PM (7/wAA)

Nope....I disagree.

It's not that fat women can't be sexy, it's that the fat (really...pudgy) women who are involved here are angry and aggressive and stunningly critical of men. And THAT is the part that makes them objects of derision and not objects of desire.

Posted by: CharlieBrown'sDildo at August 16, 2016 05:15 PM (Zu3d9)

18
So um...who had a sex with her?

Posted by: Guy Mohawk at August 16, 2016 05:15 PM (ODxAs)

19 reality,

sure. She's a dish. Objective factors have nothing at all to do with perception of beauty; it's just all about *POLITICS*.

of course. that's why you find Eleanor Clift so hot huh?



maybe you should change your name, huh?

LIke: Seriously, change your name, idiot troll.

Posted by: ace at August 16, 2016 05:15 PM (dciA+)

20 Clap harder, proles!

Posted by: Ultimate Truth Guy w/ bonus raw reality at August 16, 2016 05:15 PM (V3IFq)

21
If she were conservative, the members of the conservative tribe would say that she's both pretty and funny.


Bullshit. She's fucking obnoxious.

Posted by: Mister Magoo's at August 16, 2016 05:16 PM (74GXa)

22 >>>This offends me as a feminist because:

Ace, our intrepid feminist reporter. Stay tune for his in-depth reporting from the bowels uterus of Cosmo.

Posted by: Anon Y. Mous at August 16, 2016 05:16 PM (R+30W)

23 I don't find her as unappealing as the rest of the 'rons.

Posted by: spongeworthy at August 16, 2016 05:16 PM (mrfTe)

24 Amy, you promised me you wouldn't leak our sex tape without telling me!

Surely billions of people will want to see it! And my agent will gets lots of calls again!

Posted by: Margaret Cho at August 16, 2016 05:16 PM (PL2OL)

25 If you got it flaunt it, if you don't, flaunt it anyway because no one cares

Posted by: Skip at August 16, 2016 05:16 PM (bksJQ)

26 I am waiting for the Lena Durham sex tape. It will be titled Gravel Vag or something like that as she is so smexy.

Dang it, Ace. I never would have heard of that hag or noticed her hideousness if it were not for you. Never known about gravel and her abuse of sister. She is hideous. Thanks much. bah.

When I see Amy I think Schumer in fatter form and then harf.

Posted by: ChristyBlinky, Infidel Queen at August 16, 2016 05:16 PM (h0PYG)

27 I think it was Iowahawk who explained the feminist rules of female nudity;

If an attractive woman poses nude and men enjoy looking at her that's EXPLOITATION

If a fat ugly woman poses nude and makes everyone want to gouge their own eyes out that's EMPOWERING

Posted by: kbdabear at August 16, 2016 05:16 PM (ru6DH)

28
Posted by: Reality

STFU, hector. You dunce.

Posted by: Mister Magoo's at August 16, 2016 05:16 PM (74GXa)

29 Leave us outta this!!!!!

Posted by: Rubber Chickens, Local 305 ... at August 16, 2016 05:16 PM (AoK0a)

30 >>>vIt's not that fat women can't be sexy, it's that the fat (really...pudgy) women who are involved here are angry and aggressive and stunningly critical of men. And THAT is the part that makes them objects of derision and not objects of desire.

i just don't think she's good looking, and I don't know why I'm being invited to make a judgment about her looks, given that she's not a model, or actress known for being hot, or woman just generally thought of as beautiful.

The judgment -- the dread Male Gaze -- is being invited here.

Why?

Posted by: ace at August 16, 2016 05:16 PM (dciA+)

31 I'd rather watch Hulk Hogan's sex tape.

Posted by: buzzion at August 16, 2016 05:17 PM (z/Ubi)

32 That time they sexed up the Fuji Film blimp. Right there. That was just over the damned line. Amy Schumer. Right there with it.

Posted by: Mr Macca Bean at August 16, 2016 05:17 PM (4ng05)

33 Watching Orcas mate is not my idea of a "sex tape".

Posted by: Grump928(c) says Free Soothie! at August 16, 2016 05:17 PM (evdj2)

34 I think that to be a comedienne you are required to be unfunny and unattractive. I can't think of any woman in that business that is both.

Posted by: L, Elle at August 16, 2016 05:17 PM (6IPEM)

35 That's odd because I'm very worried about accidentally seeing it.

Posted by: Dack Thrombosis at August 16, 2016 05:17 PM (4ErVI)

36 Sperm count:

(X) Low
(_) High

Posted by: wth at August 16, 2016 05:17 PM (HgMAr)

37 Scrunt. If only she were funny, she would have one redeeming value..

Posted by: Chi-Town Jerry at August 16, 2016 05:17 PM (so+oy)

38
Her Sex Number: Schumer dedicated an entire chapter in her new bio to fun facts you didn't know about her, and one of those things just so happened to be the number of people she's slept with.

"To date, I've slept with twenty-eight people. I can't remember all of their names.



1. Haven Monahan

Posted by: Laurie David's Cervix at August 16, 2016 05:17 PM (kdS6q)

39 if y'all lived in Florida, y'all could watch these funny TV ads saying that Marco and Charlie Crist..................ARE THE SAME


more or less

Posted by: Billy Occam at August 16, 2016 05:18 PM (/542q)

40 *sniff!* People with only one are can look sexy! *sniff!*

Posted by: Michelle Fields at August 16, 2016 05:18 PM (ukNFU)

41 I heard that avid porn watchers have put together a go fund page to raise enough money to pay Schumer not to release the tape.

Posted by: Joe Hallenbeck at August 16, 2016 05:18 PM (tGmdn)

42 Huh?
The last thing I think of when I look at a photo of Amy Schumer is "sexy". Even in make-up and fishnets, and almost no pants, she just looks like a slightly overweight twelve year old dressing up as a hooker for Halloween.

Am I missing something morons?

Posted by: nerdygirl at August 16, 2016 05:18 PM (+lVUW)

43 19 Yes, all beauty is objective. Everyone agrees fully on all beauty. There is clear objective truth in "beauty."

In reality, some people like more curves. Some people like women to be "thick." You don't have to. But the reason everyone here is quick to dump on Amy Schumer and call her a disgusting, fat, unfunny pig is because she's of the liberal tribe, not the conservative tribe.

Posted by: Reality at August 16, 2016 05:18 PM (iX06C)

44 Hector,

the first time you had a dick in your mouth, was it like weird or did it immediately feel like home?

Posted by: ace at August 16, 2016 05:18 PM (dciA+)

45 Fat women think they can shame men into changing
what they think is attractive. They wish to change the rules, so come
the revolution they are hot. It's a bit funny that the left claims that
gay attraction is locked in stone, based completely in biology, but what
hetero males are attracted to is completely up for negotiation.


Posted by: DFCtomm at August 16, 2016 05:11 PM (7/wAA)

I think they actually believe that men secretly do find fat women attractive, we're just embarrassed to admit it publicly so we're all "in the closet" about it, so to speak.

Posted by: Cave Johnson at August 16, 2016 05:18 PM (LyISp)

46 Let's be honest here...

I'd hit it. No, I wouldn't talk about afterwards or make a sex tape of it, but, if that was what's available while the bartender is making last call, then sure.

Posted by: jwest at August 16, 2016 05:18 PM (Zs4uk)

47 She's trying to make sex shameful and dirty again.

Posted by: Mr. Peebles at August 16, 2016 05:18 PM (Pby3z)

48 "This offends me as a feminist because: Why? Her job has little to do with being sexy. Why is every shot of her sexed up"

Could be to cover up the fact she sucks at her job as she's not funny. I mean, if Emily Ratajakowski were topless in front of me doing standup, I'd laugh the hardest I've ever laughed if she did a recycled Yakov Schmirnoff routine.

Then again, she sucks at the cover up too.

Posted by: Jollyroger at August 16, 2016 05:18 PM (t06LC)

49 >>>If she were conservative, the members of the conservative tribe would say that she's both pretty and funny.

Nobody says that about Meghan McCain.
Amy Schumer is less attractive, and equaly unfunny.

Posted by: wooga at August 16, 2016 05:18 PM (eH3x8)

50 >>>Her job has little to do with being sexy. Why is every shot of her sexed up?

Au contraire. Media whores of all genders are required to slut it up.

Posted by: Anon Y. Mous at August 16, 2016 05:19 PM (R+30W)

51 "Okay, explain this to me: Every time I see Amy Schumer on a magazine cover, she's sexualized."




Man, I don't know. She's not sexy. Or appealing.


Maybe if she was funny, which is marginal at best.


I don't know what the hell they're doing.

Posted by: Ricardo Kill at August 16, 2016 05:19 PM (cAGTh)

52 HAH!

Posted by: spongeworthy at August 16, 2016 05:19 PM (mrfTe)

53 Lena Dunham, doing the super model facial expressions. Now that's some retch inducing shit right there...

BRB

Posted by: Mr Macca Bean at August 16, 2016 05:19 PM (4ng05)

54 Top of the Muffin TO YOU!

Posted by: Grump928(c) says Free Soothie! at August 16, 2016 05:19 PM (evdj2)

55 Women have the crutch of using their you-know-what when their talent isn't enough.

Posted by: Mr. Peebles at August 16, 2016 05:19 PM (Pby3z)

56 My guess, she's a liberal so they are going out of their way to portray her as more attractive than she actually is.

Posted by: nerdygirl at August 16, 2016 05:19 PM (+lVUW)

57 19 reality,

sure. She's a dish. Objective factors have nothing at all to do with perception of beauty; it's just all about *POLITICS*.

of course. that's why you find Eleanor Clift so hot huh?



maybe you should change your name, huh?

LIke: Seriously, change your name, idiot troll.

Posted by: ace at August 16, 2016 05:15 PM (dciA+)



Ace, just so you know, this idiot was defending Hillary Clinton's defense of a child rapist. Just so you know the level of intelligence you're dealing with.

Or rather should decide to not deal with.

Posted by: buzzion at August 16, 2016 05:19 PM (z/Ubi)

58 I'm way more surprised she has a memoir than a sex tape.

Posted by: SH at August 16, 2016 05:19 PM (gmeXX)

59 Pam from "Archer" is hotter.

Posted by: josephistan at August 16, 2016 05:20 PM (7HtZB)

60 If she were conservative, the members of the conservative tribe would say that she's both pretty and funny.
..................

Nuh-uh. But we would say she might not fit in the pot.

Posted by: pygmy cannibals at August 16, 2016 05:20 PM (HgMAr)

61 only a dude who is not accustomed to directing the Male Gaze towards women could claim Amy Schumer is totally smokin' and would be acknowledged as such if only she was wearing a TRUMP/PENCE brassiere.

Posted by: ace at August 16, 2016 05:20 PM (dciA+)

62 Nobody says that about Meghan McCain.

In fairness, she's not a part of the conservative tribe.

Posted by: Grump928(c) says Free Soothie! at August 16, 2016 05:20 PM (evdj2)

63 "It's a bit funny that the left claims that gay attraction is locked in
stone, based completely in biology, but what hetero males are attracted
to is completely up for negotiation."

On the "based in biology" front, just a few days ago, there was a noisy flap on the identity-politics left about dietary guidelines which recommend dairy for bone health being RAYCISS ELEVENTY.

Because people from black African bloodlines are often lactose intolerant, went the explanation, and they have their own specifically evolved mechanisms for calcium absorption and retention from non-dairy sources. So they shouldn't be being instructed to drink milk. White cultural condescension!

To which my response was, "Um, wait a second here. Aren't you lot on the left the very same people who have lectured us for decades about race being 'merely a cultural construct'? When did that statement cease to be operative? When did differential racial biology suddenly become non-taboo for discussion?"

Posted by: torquewrench at August 16, 2016 05:20 PM (noWW6)

64 think that to be a comedienne you are required to be unfunny and unattractive. I can't think of any woman in that business that is both.
Posted by: L, Elle at August 16, 2016 05:17 PM (6IPEM)

My all time favorite hottie is also a great comedic actress if not a comedian. Heather Graham.

Posted by: Joe Hallenbeck at August 16, 2016 05:20 PM (tGmdn)

65 "To date, I've slept with twenty-eight people. I can't remember all of their names.



1. Haven Monahan
Posted by: Laurie David's Cervix at August 16, 2016 05:17 PM (kdS6q)

--

Most of them are Canadian and Australian so we wouldn't have met them anyway.

Posted by: @votermom at August 16, 2016 05:20 PM (7lVbc)

66 Amy Schumer her get down to her ideal weight and she would still be ugly. She has the second most punchable face in the world (behind Dylan Matthews).

Posted by: Emmett Milbarge at August 16, 2016 05:21 PM (nFdGS)

67 Hector doesn't like a tasteful sip of penis.

He's a chugger.

Posted by: buzzion at August 16, 2016 05:21 PM (z/Ubi)

68 "23 I don't find her as unappealing as the rest of the 'rons."


She's not repulsive like Lena Dunham. She's just flabby with a face like a cabbage patch doll. 2am at The Starboard (Dewey Beach reference)? Eh, who am I kidding.

Posted by: Benji Carver at August 16, 2016 05:21 PM (OD2ni)

69 56 My guess, she's a liberal so they are going out of their way to portray her as more attractive than she actually is.

Posted by: nerdygirl at August 16, 2016 05:19 PM (+lVUW)


Yeah, like that has ever happened.

Posted by: Lea Dunham at August 16, 2016 05:21 PM (t06LC)

70 44 Ace, insults about someone sucking cock is Trump-level immature. How do you feel about yourself when you make insults like that? Do you feel like a frustrated 12-year-old? Because that's how you're acting.

Posted by: Reality at August 16, 2016 05:21 PM (iX06C)

71 That's one sex tape I'm not be gonna be looking at.

Let's have a moment of silence for John McLaughlin, then, as a final tribute, we all shout "Wrong!" in unison.

Karl Denninger, the Market Ticket, has been on a HFLC kick for years. He just posted a piece about a new study. The authors contacted him, reading his stuff over the years.

Anyway, they authors were having trouble getting their study published.

Read Denninger's piece about it, which has a link to the .pdf.

They cured 2 out 3 participants with metabolic syndrome. No drugs required, which is likely why they're having such a hard time publishing.

Posted by: publius (not Breitbart publius) at August 16, 2016 05:21 PM (DW+jj)

72 I'd hit it. No, I wouldn't talk about afterwards or make a sex tape of it, but, if that was what's available while the bartender is making last call, then sure.

Like riding a moped.

Posted by: Grump928(c) says Free Soothie! at August 16, 2016 05:22 PM (evdj2)

73 Is "sexualized" a new synonym for "fat"?

Posted by: HiHo at August 16, 2016 05:22 PM (CPk08)

74
Hector is trying Alinsky Ace.


You picked the wrong man, dummy.

Posted by: Mister Magoo's at August 16, 2016 05:22 PM (74GXa)

75 Plagiarism is the new HOT.

Posted by: Mr. Peebles at August 16, 2016 05:22 PM (Pby3z)

76 I think yall are being extra harsh because she's not our side. She's not a knockout but she's not a leper either.

Posted by: thathalfrican - at work at August 16, 2016 05:22 PM (+8iaa)

77 >>>I think they actually believe that men secretly do find fat women attractive,

i actually don't mind a little weight on a woman if she's otherwise attractive (and frankly, if the weight accumulates more in some places than others)

It's not that Schumer is so ugly that I'm bothered by it. But she's very plain. Why is she always having herself photographed like a pin-up girl? Is it supposed to be ironic? Is it a daring political statement about lookism? Is she just narciisstic?

I dunno.

Posted by: ace at August 16, 2016 05:22 PM (dciA+)

78 Pam from "Archer" is hotter.
Posted by: josephistan at August 16, 2016 05:20 PM (7HtZB)

That reminds me. Aisha Tyler is hot and relatively funny.

Posted by: Joe Hallenbeck at August 16, 2016 05:22 PM (tGmdn)

79 *sniff!* People with only one are can look sexy! *sniff!*

Posted by: Michelle Fields at August 16, 2016 05:18 PM (ukNFU)
..........

No shit babe, call me.

Posted by: Inspector Krough at August 16, 2016 05:22 PM (HgMAr)

80 bitch stole my act.

Posted by: Meghan MacNCheese at August 16, 2016 05:22 PM (27KAF)

81 34 I think that to be a comedienne you are required to be unfunny and unattractive. I can't think of any woman in that business that is both.
Posted by: L, Elle at August 16, 2016 05:17 PM (6IPEM)


Tammy Pescatelli.

Posted by: buzzion at August 16, 2016 05:22 PM (z/Ubi)

82 Next they'll do a glam/sexy photoshoot of Deb Whatsername Schitz.
Tons of make-up, fishnets, a bustier, and the pube hair on her head hanging over one eye, ala Veronica Lake.
You're welcome, morons.
(ducks, and runs)

Posted by: nerdygirl at August 16, 2016 05:22 PM (+lVUW)

83 Reality blows ponies.

Posted by: Mr. Peebles at August 16, 2016 05:22 PM (Pby3z)

84 I don't know what the hell they're doing.
Posted by: Ricardo Kill at August 16, 2016 05:19 PM (cAGTh)

The same thing they're doing with Lena Dunham, trying to create the narrative that she's the most sexiest "it" girl of the decade when she's actually a pasty plastic sack of potatoes. Which actually takes us right back to not knowing what the hell they're doing.

Posted by: Insomniac at August 16, 2016 05:22 PM (0mRoj)

85 I think she's a dumbass, but I think she's actually kind of attractive, maybe a little out of shape in some pictures, but she's not ugly, her politics and stupidity and vulgarity, yes those are ugly.

Posted by: spypeach at August 16, 2016 05:22 PM (nyYhO)

86 "Pam from "Archer" is hotter."



Totally.

Posted by: Ricardo Kill at August 16, 2016 05:22 PM (cAGTh)

87 65 "To date, I've slept with twenty-eight people. I can't remember all of their names.



1. Haven Monahan
Posted by: Laurie David's Cervix at August 16, 2016 05:17 PM (kdS6q)

--

Most of them are Canadian and Australian so we wouldn't have met them anyway.
Posted by: @votermom at August 16, 2016 05:20 PM (7lVbc)

Eduardo... Carrochio!

Posted by: josephistan at August 16, 2016 05:22 PM (7HtZB)

88 Meggie Mac is waaay prettier. I'm guessing (hoping) she doesn't have a sex tape.

Posted by: Jane D'oh at August 16, 2016 05:23 PM (1ZOkK)

89 Hmm.
Must be a NYC thingy...

She never crosses the radar elsewhere.

Posted by: Anon a mouse... at August 16, 2016 05:23 PM (C9pBZ)

90 the first time you had a dick in your mouth, was it like weird or did it immediately feel like home?

Just because Hector sucks someone else's dick doesn't make that other person gay.

Posted by: John P. Squibob at August 16, 2016 05:23 PM (rJOC2)

91
Joe's Law: Trolls believe none of the things they post.
Joe's Corollary: Your disgust is their oxygen.
Joe's Conjecture: All trolls are Average Joe
Joe's Tautology: Average Joe sucks cock by choice.

Posted by: Grump928(c) reminds you at August 16, 2016 05:23 PM (evdj2)

92 Like riding a moped.

Posted by: Grump928(c)


--

More like riding a waterbed.

Posted by: Vashta Nerada at August 16, 2016 05:23 PM (7ZVPa)

93 Duncanthrax's Law:

At all times, there exists at least one cis-normative male member of The Horde who will check the 'Hit it' box.

[ X ] Hit it
[ ] Not Hit it

Posted by: Duncanthrax at August 16, 2016 05:23 PM (0q4vG)

94 >>>70 44 Ace, insults about someone sucking cock is Trump-level immature. How do you feel about yourself when you make insults like that? Do you feel like a frustrated 12-year-old? Because that's how you're acting.

I feel like I'm gettig to know the man inside you, and finding out what finds attractive about you

Posted by: ace at August 16, 2016 05:23 PM (dciA+)

95
To which my response was, "Um, wait a second
here. Aren't you lot on the left the very same people who have lectured
us for decades about race being 'merely a cultural construct'? When did
that statement cease to be operative? When did differential racial
biology suddenly become non-taboo for discussion?"


Posted by: torquewrench at August 16, 2016 05:20 PM (noWW6)

It's because it's all a big lie. The establishment can't even get dietary requirements correct. Everything you've been told is a load of horseshit.

Posted by: DFCtomm at August 16, 2016 05:24 PM (7/wAA)

96 >>>59 Pam from "Archer" is hotter.

Coked up Pam or sober Pam?

Posted by: wooga at August 16, 2016 05:24 PM (eH3x8)

97 I'd rather snark about Hilz. Stompy and pouty. I am always ready for her.

This Amy person bores me somehow. Tries too hard to be unique when she is a two bit playa. LOOK AT ME!!! No, I'd rather not, thanks all the same. She ain't no comedian. Not funny, nor cute, nor smart, nor pretty. Says me.

Posted by: ChristyBlinky, Infidel Queen at August 16, 2016 05:24 PM (h0PYG)

98 I don't know why Amy Schumer does so many photoshoots where she's trying to look very sexy. I don't know why anyone would care that she does or why she does. That's what she wants to do for her career. It will end up helping her, hurting her or having no impact. So what? No idea why you are so offended. It's bizarre, really.

Posted by: Reality at August 16, 2016 05:24 PM (iX06C)

99 I think yall are being extra harsh because she's not our side. She's not a knockout but she's not a leper either.

She's a sub-talented wannabe who tries the sexy angle to compensate, and that's reason enough to scoff.

Posted by: Mr. Peebles at August 16, 2016 05:25 PM (Pby3z)

100 I'm a face guy and I don't mind curves. I am not attracted to schumers face at all. Confession time. I one time I was attracted to Ellen based on combo of funny and cute. Funny made her cuter.

Posted by: Joe Hallenbeck at August 16, 2016 05:25 PM (tGmdn)

101 >>>85 I think she's a dumbass, but I think she's actually kind of attractive, maybe a little out of shape in some pictures, but she's not ugly, her politics and stupidity and vulgarity, yes those are ugly.

she does not look like the other girls I routinely see half-naked in fencenet pantyhose on magazine covers

Posted by: ace at August 16, 2016 05:25 PM (dciA+)

102 She's not gorgeous. She's ok. If she were conservative, the members of the conservative tribe would say that she's both pretty and funny.

Posted by: Reality at August 16, 2016 05:14 PM (iX06C)

Meghan McCain when she's pushing 200 lbs, I don't want to see naked because I'm not a chubby chaser

Meghan McCain after someone has slapped the fork out of her hand for a year I might enjoy naked.

Meggie's politics wouldn't have changed, just her weight

I'm fine with seeing boob pics of Katy Perry even though she's a Hillary drone.

For me, Boobs Transcend Politics

Posted by: kbdabear at August 16, 2016 05:25 PM (ru6DH)

103 81 34 I think that to be a comedienne you are required to be unfunny and unattractive. I can't think of any woman in that business that is both.
Posted by: L, Elle at August 16, 2016 05:17 PM (6IPEM)

Tammy Pescatelli.
Posted by: buzzion at August 16, 2016 05:22 PM (z/Ubi)

Oh my, yes. I was in tears laughing listening to her on a local radio show, without knowing what she looked like. Then the host mentioned that she'd be a great Wonder Woman, so off to Bing images I went.

Posted by: josephistan at August 16, 2016 05:25 PM (7HtZB)

104 "Which actually takes us right back to not knowing what the hell they're doing."




So, it's like the circle of non-sensitivity.....?

Posted by: Ricardo Kill at August 16, 2016 05:25 PM (cAGTh)

105 *wanders in*

Amy wants a man.

So, anyone here willing to volunteer as tribute?


*spins on heels and slams door*

Posted by: 98ZJUSMC Staring at the Lake in the rain at August 16, 2016 05:25 PM (72N6L)

106 She is constantly trolling. She is INSISTENT she is a size 6, when she is easily an 8-10. In her new book, she talks about how she's only had one, one night stand, when for years she boasted of nothing but. Like Lena Dunham, she wants to be called on it so she can play the victim.

Posted by: Kas at August 16, 2016 05:25 PM (Bl4dy)

107 The judgment -- the dread Male Gaze -- is being invited here.


Why?

Posted by: ace at August 16, 2016 05:16 PM (dciA+)

I can think of several reasons, one of which is that by forcing the male gaze on a plain chick it cheapens the attention being paid to genuinely beautiful women.

But to be honest, my personal "Male Gaze" is visited upon all women...sometimes briefly, as in the case of Amy Schumer, and sometimes for far too long and I am asked to leave the restaurant....

Posted by: CharlieBrown'sDildo at August 16, 2016 05:25 PM (Zu3d9)

108
We heard the same exact bullshit about michelle obama.

You'd think she was beautiful if she was a conservative!!


NO. I. WOULDN'T.

Posted by: Mister Magoo's at August 16, 2016 05:25 PM (74GXa)

109 As conservatives, if any of us were objectifying Amy Schumer sexually, it would be full flame thrower for three days over the conservative war on women. If Amy Schumer objectifies herself, and by extension, her entire gender, she's some kind of progressive heroine.

Point of order on the typical progressive double-standard, self-awareness deficit BS.

Posted by: Mr Macca Bean at August 16, 2016 05:25 PM (4ng05)

110 76
I think yall are being extra harsh because she's not our side. She's not a knockout but she's not a leper either.





Posted by: thathalfrican - at work at August 16, 2016 05:22 PM (+8iaa)


She's on the cover of every magazine, semi-nude, and the left keeps telling us how gorgeous she is. No, she's not ugly (at least on the outside), but there are gorgeous women on the right who *never* get that kind of press.

Posted by: Jane D'oh at August 16, 2016 05:25 PM (1ZOkK)

111 >>> I one time I was attracted to Ellen based on combo of funny and cute. Funny made her cuter.

yeah she was very cute. Frankly, I kinda dug paula pounstone too.

Posted by: ace at August 16, 2016 05:25 PM (dciA+)

112 61 Ace, did I say that Amy Schumer is smokin' hot? No, I said she's merely ok. That's all.

And yes, your bashing of her looks and comedy is entirely about tribalism. You do that all the time. You decry tribalism and yet you live by it.

Posted by: Reality at August 16, 2016 05:26 PM (iX06C)

113 and the Orc with one arm from The Hobbit
You thought he was shirtless for the whole movie by accident?

Posted by: Azog fetishists at August 16, 2016 05:26 PM (eXSOZ)

114 I'd hit it.

Posted by: Joe Biden at August 16, 2016 05:26 PM (HgMAr)

115 The America I knew, someone's sex life was mostly private. Or at least not on tape at 11

Posted by: Nevergiveup at August 16, 2016 05:26 PM (Ozsfq)

116 @82...sweetie,they already tried. Vogue, I think. She was photo shopped into being unrecognizable. Which is a good thing.

Posted by: ChristyBlinky, Infidel Queen at August 16, 2016 05:26 PM (h0PYG)

117 Melissa McCarthy offends my sensibilities much less and she's as round as she is tall.

Posted by: Grump928(c) reminds you at August 16, 2016 05:26 PM (evdj2)

118 NO. I. WOULDN'T.
Posted by: Mister Magoo's at August 16, 2016 05:25 PM (74GXa)

You wouldn't say that if you were a Mack truck.

Posted by: Mr Macca Bean at August 16, 2016 05:26 PM (4ng05)

119 Always comes up Pam

Posted by: thathalfrican - at work at August 16, 2016 05:26 PM (+8iaa)

120 I like alcohol. But if I woke up next to Amy Schumer I'd quit.

It's time to recognize when you've hit rock bottom.

Like Hillary Clinton, I might have trouble on step six.

Posted by: free range 'sorta' conservative but not 'true' conservative at August 16, 2016 05:26 PM (ZnIt3)

121 >>>I think they actually believe that men secretly do find fat women attractive,



i actually don't mind a little weight on a woman if she's otherwise
attractive (and frankly, if the weight accumulates more in some places
than others)



Yeah, it's not so much women with a "little" extra weight that think this way.

Posted by: Cave Johnson at August 16, 2016 05:27 PM (LyISp)

122 >>>"Yes, I have a sex tape, and I'm kind of proud of it." -- Amy Schumer, inevitably, 2016

Even we won't touch that thing.

Posted by: Gawker Media at August 16, 2016 05:27 PM (R+30W)

123 Tammy Pescatelli

*spins around and comes back in*

Posted by: 98ZJUSMC Staring at the Lake in the rain at August 16, 2016 05:27 PM (72N6L)

124 101 Yes Ace, she looks different from most women in fishnets, etc. on magazine covers. So what? Why is that a problem?

Posted by: Reality at August 16, 2016 05:27 PM (iX06C)

125 Well, enough about me.

Hey, did any of you notice how much that early morning pic looked like Slash from Guns 'N Roses?

You know... Slash!

Am I right? Am I right?!?!


Posted by: Amy Schumer at August 16, 2016 05:27 PM (H9MG5)

126 >>> don't know why Amy Schumer does so many photoshoots where she's trying to look very sexy. I don't know why anyone would care that she does or why she does. That's what she wants to do for her career. It will end up helping her, hurting her or having no impact. So what? No idea why you are so offended. It's bizarre, really.

do you pay any attention to the balls or are you just all-in on the main member?

Posted by: ace at August 16, 2016 05:27 PM (dciA+)

127
I'm a Rita Rudner man, myself.


Posted by: Mister Magoo's at August 16, 2016 05:27 PM (74GXa)

128 My Sleep with Amy Number is 7 beers.

Posted by: Roland [OMITTED] at August 16, 2016 05:27 PM (QM5S2)

129 "More like riding a waterbed."


*snorts*


Always HATED those things.

Posted by: Ricardo Kill at August 16, 2016 05:27 PM (cAGTh)

130

I think they actually believe that men secretly do find fat women attractive,


Actually in the Arab world, chubs are prized

Posted by: Nevergiveup at August 16, 2016 05:28 PM (Ozsfq)

131 @111...yes, both were very funny.

This was pre whatever it is now. When people are mostly unfunny. Except me.

Posted by: ChristyBlinky, Infidel Queen at August 16, 2016 05:28 PM (h0PYG)

132
Besides her family, Schumer also revealed shocking details about a physically and emotionally abusive relationship the star endured in her early 20s.

During one especially volatile fight, Schumer wrote that her then-boyfriend, who had pushed her into a car, then "grabbed a huge butcher knife from a drawer. And that's when I was sure he was going to kill me." She escaped, but concedes that reliving that moment remains difficult. "It can happen to anyone," she wrote. "You're not alone if it's happening to you, and you're not exempt if it hasn't happened to you yet."



"Haven, stop! You're hurting me!", I insisted. But he was so strong, his muscles rippling beneath his Quebec Nordiques hockey jersey.

And apparently cars have "drawers" or something. Don't blame me. Blame her book, via people mag.

Posted by: Laurie David's Cervix at August 16, 2016 05:28 PM (kdS6q)

133 And yes, your bashing of her looks and comedy is entirely about tribalism. You do that all the time. You decry tribalism and yet you live by it.
Posted by: Reality at August 16, 2016 05:26 PM (iX06C)

No matter how you qualify it or repeat it... still a crock. Sorry.

Posted by: Mr Macca Bean at August 16, 2016 05:28 PM (4ng05)

134 We all secretly want to have sex with Carlos Mencia. That's why we make fun of him.

Posted by: wooga at August 16, 2016 05:28 PM (eH3x8)

135 What's this "magazine" thing yall keep yakkn about?
It's the 21st century. Who buys magazines?

Posted by: Anon a mouse... at August 16, 2016 05:28 PM (C9pBZ)

136 Why is Trump going to Milwalkee because persons of color supports Presdent Obama and all the things he did to help them get jobs. Block unemployment is 0% and we have Presdent Obama to thank for that. Persons of no color unemployment is at 20% and we are heppy that these people feel the pain of personstens of color for once.

Posted by: Mary Clogginstien from Brattleboror, VT at August 16, 2016 05:28 PM (NuElX)

137 "My Sleep with Amy Number is 7 beers."


You're easy.

Posted by: Ricardo Kill at August 16, 2016 05:29 PM (cAGTh)

138 >>>124 101 Yes Ace, she looks different from most women in fishnets, etc. on magazine covers. So what? Why is that a problem?
Posted by: Reality

Let me give you an analogy you can understand:

If you've just gotten your monthly issue of Beefmuffin magazine in the mail, and you take off the brown paper wrapper, and you see this issue's Cover Boy is Gilbert Gotfried sucking on a rubber chicken like a dick, you're probably going to say "Why?" aren't you?

Posted by: ace at August 16, 2016 05:29 PM (dciA+)

139 There are quite objective standards of beauty, evolutionary standards, that are easily identified and hold across all cultures.

Then there is a subjective component that does vary with time and culture.

Posted by: publius (not Breitbart publius) at August 16, 2016 05:29 PM (DW+jj)

140 "Reality", I find this confusing. Why would anyone objectify a fat chick?

Posted by: HiHo at August 16, 2016 05:29 PM (CPk08)

141 Fencenet?

Liked barbed wire?

What am I a cow? What am I some heifer, here to a-moos you?

Posted by: Amy Schumer at August 16, 2016 05:29 PM (H9MG5)

142 126 No wonder you're all-in for Trump now. You've adopted his rhetorical style. Don't talk about the issues; just make juvenile insults.

Posted by: Reality at August 16, 2016 05:30 PM (iX06C)

143 I think people who make sex tapes are either wanting them to get leaked or they're nuts/naive thinking it won't be..

Posted by: FenelonSpoke at August 16, 2016 05:30 PM (6HqlZ)

144 I've yet to see this vid. Is there any 'butt stuff''?

Askin' for a friend...

Posted by: Zettai Ryoiki at August 16, 2016 05:30 PM (kP16F)

145 I agree--I think she's trying to be ironic. And stick a finger in the eye of "male beauty standards."

Deep down every straight woman wants to be considered attractive. Schumer's constant mugging for the camera comes off as a pathetic cry for attention.

Posted by: fly gal at August 16, 2016 05:30 PM (8TdcF)

146 she does not look like the other girls I routinely see half-naked in fencenet pantyhose on magazine covers

Posted by: ace at August 16, 2016 05:25 PM (dciA+)

That's true, she's no Lena Dunham, but that might be setting the bar a little high

Posted by: spypeach at August 16, 2016 05:30 PM (nyYhO)

147 You decry tribalism and yet you live by it.

Posted by: Reality at August 16, 2016 05:26 PM (iX06C)

Actually, if you were less of a troll and showed some real interest, you would discover that Ace discusses tribalism as a powerful driver of many things, and also recognizes it in himself.

But that would require more motivation than just stirring up shit and being combative.

Posted by: CharlieBrown'sDildo at August 16, 2016 05:31 PM (Zu3d9)

148 128 My Sleep with Amy Number is 7 beers.
Posted by: Roland [OMITTED] at August 16, 2016 05:27 PM (QM5S2)



More like the entire inventory of the local Miller distributor.

Posted by: 98ZJUSMC Staring at the Lake in the rain at August 16, 2016 05:31 PM (72N6L)

149 That's the other thing.

"Tape " ?

As in VHS?

Posted by: Anon a mouse... at August 16, 2016 05:31 PM (C9pBZ)

150 "Haven, stop! You're hurting me!", I insisted. But he was so strong, his muscles rippling beneath his Quebec Nordiques hockey jersey.


Posted by: Laurie David's Cervix at August 16, 2016 05:28 PM (kdS6q)

Only thing that makes me laugh harder than a Nordiques reference is a Hartford Whalers reference.

Posted by: josephistan at August 16, 2016 05:31 PM (7HtZB)

151 No wonder you're all-in for Trump now. You've adopted his rhetorical style. Don't talk about the issues; just make juvenile insults.

Posted by: Reality


No, the only question is why you keep coming back for the ass-kickings.

Posted by: Ultimate Truth Guy w/ bonus raw reality at August 16, 2016 05:31 PM (V3IFq)

152 CNN Commentator Sally Kohn Defends Sharia Law, Says Many Progressive Muslims Believe In Sharia

Pro tip for Sally: If they believe in Sharia they are not progressive.


Here are some progressive Muslims in Mosul last week throwing a man off a building for being gay (just like Sally):

Weasel Zippers

Ever notice all the gay guys they throw off buildings are thin? No Gay Girls? So I guess that means gay muslim women fly?

Posted by: Nevergiveup at August 16, 2016 05:31 PM (Ozsfq)

153 Reality, I agree. Calling you a cocksucker is DEEPLY offensive. I'd waaaayyy rather have Amy Schumer suck my cock, and I really don't like fat chicks.

Posted by: HiHo at August 16, 2016 05:31 PM (CPk08)

154 Boobs Transcend Politics
..............

Ah, Grasshopper!

Posted by: Po at August 16, 2016 05:32 PM (HgMAr)

155 She craves attention more than a Kardashian.

And sex tapes. Why?

Posted by: Jane D'oh at August 16, 2016 05:32 PM (1ZOkK)

156 Japanese pole vault guy probably could've used some Amy Schumer vids.

Posted by: bananaDream at August 16, 2016 05:32 PM (Ag8Mw)

157 We have to celebrate everyone for being beautiful even though we all know that they aren't. Because people today can't accept reality and must be coddled lest their fragile psyches be harmed.

Posted by: Joe, living mobile at August 16, 2016 05:32 PM (aJcfp)

158 >>>112 61 Ace, did I say that Amy Schumer is smokin' hot? No, I said she's merely ok. That's all.

And yes, your bashing of her looks and comedy is entirely about tribalism. You do that all the time. You decry tribalism and yet you live by it.

...

When a rest-stop trick is humping your head like your heart is on fire and he's trying to put it out with Man-Water, do you ever close your eyes and think of Ben Kingsley in a speedo?

Posted by: ace at August 16, 2016 05:32 PM (dciA+)

159 138 Sure. Because Gilbert Gotfried is physically unattractive to almost anybody. Such is not the case for Schumer. She has a pretty face (to many) and she's thick. Some guys like thick. And it seems like you're more than merely curious as to why she's in all these sexy photoshoots. You are, in your own words, "offended" because she's so hideous.

Ace, it's tribalism. Don't run from it. Just embrace it. That's how you react to celebrities. If they are on the left, then they are talentless and ugly to you. Because they are in the wrong tribe.

Posted by: Reality at August 16, 2016 05:32 PM (iX06C)

160
Pro tip for Sally: If they believe in Sharia they are not progressive.

Actually, they are. Progressivism is really just Fascism under all the lies.

Posted by: Mister Magoo's at August 16, 2016 05:33 PM (74GXa)

161 She's on the cover of every magazine, semi-nude, and the left keeps telling us how gorgeous she is. No, she's not ugly (at least on the outside), but there are gorgeous women on the right who *never* get that kind of press.

Posted by: Jane D'oh at August 16, 2016 05:25 PM (1ZOkK)

I just assume it's because she's politically connected. We are such a 3rd world country now ...

Posted by: @votermom at August 16, 2016 05:33 PM (7lVbc)

162 "Why would anyone objectify a fat chick?"


Just not doing anything here. What you want me to do?

Posted by: Any Average Penis at August 16, 2016 05:33 PM (cAGTh)

163 Don't talk about the issues; just make juvenile insults.

Heh.

Posted by: Grump928(c) reminds you at August 16, 2016 05:33 PM (evdj2)

164 Not even with my dick.

Posted by: Bill Clinton at August 16, 2016 05:33 PM (FqgrG)

165 126 No wonder you're all-in for Trump now. You've adopted his rhetorical style. Don't talk about the issues; just make juvenile insults.
Posted by: Reality at August 16, 2016 05:30 PM (iX06C)

I hear HuffPo appreciates people who stick their little tea finger out like that.

Posted by: Mr Macca Bean at August 16, 2016 05:33 PM (4ng05)

166 Dammit, Ace. *tea all over keyboard*

Posted by: Jane D'oh at August 16, 2016 05:33 PM (1ZOkK)

167 No wonder you're all-in for Trump now. You've adopted his rhetorical style. Don't talk about the issues; just make juvenile insults.Posted by: Reality


We have plenty more, so please stick around.
Buy I'm always a gentleman to your mom. Except when she likes it rough.

Posted by: free range 'sorta' conservative but not 'true' conservative at August 16, 2016 05:34 PM (ZnIt3)

168 So we're not allowed to criticize her cynical bid for publicity by playing on her marginal looks to cover her lack of talent?

Posted by: Mr. Peebles at August 16, 2016 05:34 PM (Pby3z)

169 I'd hit that, hic.

Posted by: Hillary! at August 16, 2016 05:34 PM (A0rxz)

170 >>>>38 Sure. Because Gilbert Gotfried is physically unattractive to almost anybody. Such is not the case for Schumer. She has a pretty face (to many) and she's thick. Some guys like thick. And it seems like you're more than merely curious as to why she's in all these sexy photoshoots. You are, in your own words, "offended" because she's so hideous.

Ace, it's tribalism. Don't run from it. Just embrace it. That's how you react to celebrities. If they are on the left, then they are talentless and ugly to you. Because they are in the wrong tribe.

...

Look, I don't tell you which are the Cute Guys in this month's Playgirl.

Maybe you should refrain from making claims about the Male Gaze, and stick to the safer shoals of the Male Gays.


Posted by: ace at August 16, 2016 05:34 PM (dciA+)

171 I mean, just the thought of you engaging in any sexual activity...it's like...I dunno. Mechanical tentacle porn, but not recognizeable as conceivably porn.

Posted by: HiHo at August 16, 2016 05:34 PM (CPk08)

172 Buzz, Iook up Tammy Pescatelli. I like her name. It sounds like a hot girls name.

JoeH, Heather Graham is super cute but she really is an actress though she can pull off comedic role as Doing stand up and writing your own material takes a whole different level of talent.

See: Bonnie McFarlane and her unfunny documentary "Women aren't funny." She had to do the same thing. She did this one staged scene where she she was bottomless to keep your attention, and the skit still wasn't funny

Posted by: L, Elle at August 16, 2016 05:34 PM (6IPEM)

173 Lol reality. Schumer ain't thick at all

Posted by: thathalfrican - at work at August 16, 2016 05:34 PM (+8iaa)

174 It was the Best of Times. It was the Worst of Times. And there were Dragons having sex with me.

Posted by: Amy R.R. Schumer at August 16, 2016 05:34 PM (3b9U4)

175 Back in HS, I once doubled dated, well double made out, with a couple of girls and my friend. Afterwards I asked him how it went in the back seat and he told me 'I think I made it to 2nd base, unless that was just a fat roll.'

Posted by: Grump928(c) reminds you at August 16, 2016 05:35 PM (evdj2)

176
Where's "person?"

I want to see hector and person in the same thread at the same time. It would be epic!

Posted by: Mister Magoo's at August 16, 2016 05:35 PM (74GXa)

177
142
126 No wonder you're all-in for Trump now. You've adopted his
rhetorical style. Don't talk about the issues; just make juvenile
insults.

Posted by: Reality at August 16, 2016 05:30 PM (iX06C)







Nuh-uh.

Posted by: IllTemperedCur at August 16, 2016 05:35 PM (LuZz8)

178 Ashley Judd is a raving lefty, and she has been praised and heckled here - depending on her current level of puffiness. Politics makes her someone of interest/ notoriety. But they don't make her ugly or attractive.

For most non-lefties, politics and personal can be separated.

Posted by: wooga at August 16, 2016 05:35 PM (eH3x8)

179 ""Tape " ?

As in VHS?"


*points to the sky.....mouthes "Thank You*

Posted by: Ricardo Kill at August 16, 2016 05:35 PM (cAGTh)

180 Don't talk about the issues; just make juvenile insults.

Posted by: Reality


Being an asshole doesn't make your dick look bigger, y'know.

Posted by: Mr. Peebles at August 16, 2016 05:35 PM (Pby3z)

181 Nope

Posted by: Will Folkes at August 16, 2016 05:35 PM (kTF2Z)

182 I thought I saw her in a Wal Mart commercial.

Posted by: BignJames at August 16, 2016 05:35 PM (9Kdhp)

183 >>>See: Bonnie McFarlane and her unfunny documentary "Women aren't funny." She had to do the same thing. She did this one staged scene where she she was bottomless to keep your attention, and the skit still wasn't funny

maybe but she's cute and I want to see this scene

Posted by: ace at August 16, 2016 05:35 PM (dciA+)

184 Is Reality gerg? I get the trolls confused.

Posted by: Jane D'oh at August 16, 2016 05:36 PM (1ZOkK)

185 Sorry. This: " I mean, just the thought of you engaging in any sexual activity...it's like...I dunno. Mechanical tentacle porn, but not recognizeable as conceivably porn." was addressed to the "Reality" person.

Posted by: HiHo at August 16, 2016 05:36 PM (CPk08)

186 I'd rather see a CHUCK Schumer sex tape.

That guy loooves a camera.

Posted by: Mr. Peebles at August 16, 2016 05:36 PM (Pby3z)

187
So this is Jane D'oh's light hearted fun thread?

Posted by: Flawless Male Logic at August 16, 2016 05:36 PM (lKyWE)

188 Like Lena Dunham they put her on magazine covers in glamorous poses because you are supposed to find her attractive H8ter!

Posted by: steevy at August 16, 2016 05:36 PM (fA75F)

189 Ace, do you recognize that your reactions to people and what they do (publicly, at least) is about tribalism? Also, of course, this extends to politics. Like if a Republican you support is in come kind of scandal or controversey, then it's no big deal really. But if the same fact pattern were applied to a Democrat, then it's a massive scandal that should lead to resignation and quite possibly prosecution. You don't ever attempt to be fair or objective. It's all just Spy vs. Spy to you.

Posted by: Reality at August 16, 2016 05:36 PM (iX06C)

190 I don't give a rat farht about tribalism or any other ism.

She is wanting attention. Won't bless her heart for looking like a slut to get the attention. Hail, she probably has abuse issues like Gravel Girl. It is not normal. It is not cool. It is not ok, it is trash. Lowest bidder. I mean, WHO secretly imagines wanting to see her stupid clumsy tape? How original. How artsy. harf.

I have to look at Kardashian butts out of peripheral vision when I wade into UK Daily Mail. Overblown, silicone bare giant butts. What is the deal? Everyone has one. "Oh, a giant butt!" Yawn.

I guess Amy needs to blow up her butt with some of that Kardashian special silicone. Then maybe she'll get the attention she needs. pfft

Posted by: ChristyBlinky, Infidel Queen at August 16, 2016 05:36 PM (h0PYG)

191 168 Posted by: Mr. Peebles at August 16, 2016 05:34 PM (Pby3z)

She looks like Miss Piggy.

Not being an asshole either, she *really* does look like Miss Piggy when "dolled" up.

She blocked me when I sent her a pic of her and Miss Piggy side by side.

At any rate if we are to overlook "as funny as a dead baby" bad female comics' "talents" for "looks" I'd say http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Natasha_Leggero has it on "six pack and a 1/2 a fifth" Schumer.

Posted by: sven10077 at August 16, 2016 05:36 PM (SzZnW)

192 Being an asshole doesn't make your dick look bigger, y'know.

Posted by: Mr. Peebles at August 16, 2016 05:35 PM (Pby3z)

Pro tip: Shaving your pubes and having sex with midgets does.

Posted by: Lea Dunham at August 16, 2016 05:37 PM (t06LC)

193 Posted by: Mr. Peebles at August 16, 2016 05:34 PM (Pby3z)

That was an insightful way to phrase it.

Posted by: FenelonSpoke at August 16, 2016 05:37 PM (6HqlZ)

194 Is Reality gerg? I get the trolls confused.

*ahem*

Posted by: Grump928(c) reminds you that all trolls are Average Joe at August 16, 2016 05:37 PM (evdj2)

195 Is Reality gerg? I get the trolls confused.

Posted by: Jane D'oh


nope, he's Hector.

Gerg fell into a volcano.

Posted by: Ultimate Truth Guy w/ bonus raw reality at August 16, 2016 05:37 PM (V3IFq)

196
Amy has also slept with a number of famous athletes, whose names sadly remain undisclosed, including a lacrosse player, an NFL player, a professional wrestler she met on Twitter, and an NHL player.



"I'm a millionaire NFL player who can have any woman I want, but Amy -- it is you I desire."

"Oh Haven", I said, "I don't know. Must I let your flames of desire consume me too?"

Posted by: Laurie David's Cervix at August 16, 2016 05:37 PM (kdS6q)

197 Sven!

Posted by: Grump928(c) reminds you that all trolls are Average Joe at August 16, 2016 05:37 PM (evdj2)

198 The 'I am Cait' reality series has been cancelled, & will not return for a third season.

Posted by: Moron News Service, Sewing Circle, & Timing Association at August 16, 2016 05:37 PM (0q4vG)

199 Oh, and Reality, you bore me, too. Go ism somewhere else, you twit.

Posted by: ChristyBlinky, Infidel Queen at August 16, 2016 05:37 PM (h0PYG)

200 A Sven sighting is getting as rare as a Wicked Pinto.

Posted by: Grump928(c) reminds you that all trolls are Average Joe at August 16, 2016 05:38 PM (evdj2)

201 "Lol reality. Schumer ain't thick at all"


Come on over here and sit down. You need water? I'll make you a drink too.

Posted by: Ricardo Kill at August 16, 2016 05:38 PM (cAGTh)

202 But the reason everyone here is quick to dump on Amy Schumer and call her a disgusting, fat, unfunny pig is because she's of the liberal tribe, not the conservative tribe.
Posted by: Reality at August 16, 2016 05:18 PM (iX06C)


Actually, John McCain's daughter was, if anything, mocked even more.
But, hey, you're really open-minded. Right?

Posted by: nerdygirl at August 16, 2016 05:38 PM (+lVUW)

203 Anyone that disagrees with me is a beta male or gay. Because that's how simplistic my worldview is.

Posted by: ace of tribalism at August 16, 2016 05:38 PM (iX06C)

204 >>>189 Ace, do you recognize that your reactions to people and what they do (publicly, at least) is about tribalism?

when you're picking out which dick you're going to let play Dirty Bumper Cars with your tonsils, do you ask "who did you vote for in the 2008 primary first," or do you mostly just concentrate on whether his hands will feel strong and firm holding your ears?

Posted by: ace at August 16, 2016 05:38 PM (dciA+)

205 My ex BIL was a chubby chaser, I was doing some work for them and found his fat pron mags under the guest bathroom sink. Those images still haunt me 20 yrs later.

Posted by: Tinfoilbaby at August 16, 2016 05:38 PM (6Ll1u)

206 So this is Jane D'oh's light hearted fun thread?
Posted by: Flawless Male Logic at August 16, 2016 05:36 PM (lKyWE)

haha, it's the horde, we can argue about anything, it's what we do.

Posted by: spypeach at August 16, 2016 05:38 PM (nyYhO)

207 Tribalism?

Well I am an MOT.

Posted by: Nevergiveup at August 16, 2016 05:38 PM (Ozsfq)

208 189 Posted by: Reality at August 16, 2016 05:36 PM (iX06C)

Your friend Urkle had doubled the national debt, Killed healthcare, and blown up the middle east handing it to Iran and Russia....

yet no leftoid is capable of admitting SCOAMF is shit midas....

Go hug a rainbow moonbat.

Posted by: sven10077 at August 16, 2016 05:38 PM (SzZnW)

209 sven!!

Posted by: Jane D'oh at August 16, 2016 05:39 PM (1ZOkK)

210 186 I'd rather see a CHUCK Schumer sex tape.

--

He's probably on Amy's tape.
It would explain her issues.

Posted by: @votermom at August 16, 2016 05:39 PM (7lVbc)

211 I'd rather see a CHUCK Schumer sex tape.

That guy loooves a camera.


As Bob Dole once said, the most dangerous place in the world is between Chuck Schemer and a live microphone.

Posted by: Bob Dole at August 16, 2016 05:39 PM (rJOC2)

212 180 Don't talk about the issues; just make juvenile insults.

Posted by: Reality


Why do you do that? Go ahead and post your issues.

I'll promise not to laugh. Pinky swearsies.

Posted by: 98ZJUSMC Staring at the Lake in the rain at August 16, 2016 05:39 PM (72N6L)

213 Posted by: Reality at August 16, 2016 05:36 PM (iX06C)

Your text reads likes Charlie Brown's teacher . Wah wah wah wah Wha wah wah.,,

Posted by: Joe Hallenbeck at August 16, 2016 05:39 PM (tGmdn)

214 sven, how's the situation?

Posted by: Ricardo Kill at August 16, 2016 05:39 PM (cAGTh)

215 Reality is still waiting on his Skittle-shitting unicorn. Waiting...and waiting...and waiting...

Posted by: Jane D'oh at August 16, 2016 05:39 PM (1ZOkK)

216 >>>203 Anyone that disagrees with me is a beta male or gay. Because that's how simplistic my worldview is.
Posted by: ace of tribalism

Seriously? Miss?

Only someone who is gay could be sitting here claiming that Amy Schumer should be plenty hot enough to gratify any men's passions.

You're like a girl who can't tell the difference in quality between Die Hard and Die Hard 5.

Because you don't like this genre.

This genre of gender, I mean.

Posted by: ace at August 16, 2016 05:39 PM (dciA+)

217 204 Posted by: ace at August 16, 2016 05:38 PM (dciA+)

Quite, Ace...

I think shitheads who voted for Preznit Pants' Crease based on hue and "hope" have sorta ceded their moral outrage card for the rest of their lives.

Posted by: sven10077 at August 16, 2016 05:40 PM (SzZnW)

218 202 Megan McCain was not mocked until she revealed herself to be insufficiently conservative. And then suddenly she was a disgusting, fat Jabba the Hutt-like monster by many conservatives, like the tribalists here at Ace of Spades.

Posted by: ace of tribalism at August 16, 2016 05:40 PM (iX06C)

219 Ricardo,

She's not thick, she really has no sexy shape to her. She's just a lil chubby but unfortunately for her it didn't goto her butt or boobs.

Posted by: thathalfrican - at work at August 16, 2016 05:40 PM (+8iaa)

220 142 126 No wonder you're all-in for Trump now. You've adopted his rhetorical style. Don't talk about the issues; just make juvenile insults.

Posted by: Reality at August 16, 2016 05:30 PM (iX06C)

++++

I think you are onto something. Before Trump came along, these pages were never besmirched with juvenile insults. We were too high-minded for those hijinks.

Posted by: Anon Y. Mous at August 16, 2016 05:40 PM (R+30W)

221 205 Should have been onbvious from the covers,yet you looked.Oh well,we probably all would have anyway.

Posted by: steevy at August 16, 2016 05:40 PM (fA75F)

222 First time I ever saw Amy Schumer was her Comedy Central half hour show. She was wearing a short dress. She came off as being ok looking and trying way to hard, and not that funny. Long before knowing anything of her politics or her ever getting any spotlight.

Posted by: buzzion at August 16, 2016 05:40 PM (z/Ubi)

223 "Well I am an MOT. "


Member of Tribe...?



?

Posted by: Ricardo Kill at August 16, 2016 05:40 PM (cAGTh)

224 214 Posted by: Ricardo Kill at August 16, 2016 05:39 PM (cAGTh)

Had a good visit, am getting settled in back in Montana...

Sister was on her best behavior, and I got to see all my siblings but my baby brother.

Posted by: sven10077 at August 16, 2016 05:41 PM (SzZnW)

225 I'd watch a Phyllis Diller sex tape before Amy.

And she would be funny in it.

Posted by: publius (not Breitbart publius) at August 16, 2016 05:41 PM (DW+jj)

226
Hector, the ghosts of John McLaughlin and Eleanor Clift have an Exit Question for you:

Do you believe a single word you say?

Posted by: Mister Magoo's at August 16, 2016 05:41 PM (74GXa)

227 >>>219 Ricardo,

She's not thick, she really has no sexy shape to her. She's just a lil chubby but unfortunately for her it didn't goto her butt or boobs.
Posted by: thathalfrican

...

exactly.

I know thick.

I've worked with thick.

You, madame, are no thick.

Posted by: ace at August 16, 2016 05:41 PM (dciA+)

228 Megan McCain was not mocked until she revealed herself to be insufficiently conservative.

In fairness, she also put on 30 pounds.

Posted by: Grump928(c) reminds you that all trolls are Average Joe at August 16, 2016 05:41 PM (evdj2)

229 an NHL player.


He's from Canada, you don't know him.

Posted by: Amy Schumer at August 16, 2016 05:41 PM (LyISp)

230 Amy strikes me as the type of girl who would get pissed off if you didn't invite two of your friends to help you sport fuck her.

Posted by: Fritz at August 16, 2016 05:41 PM (HVQlX)

231 "Well I am an MOT. "


Member of Tribe...?



?
Posted by: Ricardo Kill at August 16, 2016 05:40 PM (cAGTh)

Google it Bubbie

Posted by: Nevergiveup at August 16, 2016 05:42 PM (Ozsfq)

232 You know how people say, "Oh, she'd be so pretty if she just lost some weight"?


They don't say that about Amy Shumer.


That face! Am I right?

Posted by: DangerGirl and her 1.21 gigawatt Sanity Prod at August 16, 2016 05:42 PM (+eR2D)

233 I hear Sally Kohn has a sex tape out.

*runs* *hides*

Posted by: Jane D'oh at August 16, 2016 05:42 PM (1ZOkK)

234 209 Posted by: Jane D'oh at August 16, 2016 05:39 PM (1ZOkK)

Ma'am.

Hope all is well.

Try Ace's intermittent fasting for your BP...it knocked 10 off my systolic and diastolic.

Posted by: sven10077 at August 16, 2016 05:42 PM (SzZnW)

235 216 I wonder if you are serious or if you are just playing a juvenile game. Are you seriously arguing that no straight man could really find Amy Schumer attractive? Even when dolled up to look her best? Do you live in that small and bizarre of a world. I know your political thought exists in a tiny conservative bubble, but I didn't know that extended to your view of the non-political world as well.

Posted by: ace of tribalism at August 16, 2016 05:42 PM (iX06C)

236 Amy Shummer is sexy and attractive in the way Moochelle Obama is. In other words, we are being told we are too racist and ignorant to see it the right way.

Posted by: Chillin the most at August 16, 2016 05:42 PM (Cl52v)

237 @177, Reality? Really...REALLY?

We were making tribalism (whatever the hail that fancy word is) way before Mr. Trump ran for president. Where have you been all this time? Go read NRO or cut your toe nails. Eat boogers, my man.

Wait! You are the guy with the security monkey that went wild on the plane and threw feces, right? bah.

Posted by: ChristyBlinky, Infidel Queen at August 16, 2016 05:42 PM (h0PYG)

238 So, Amy Schumer's doing so well she has time to troll blog comment sections...

Posted by: Mr. Peebles at August 16, 2016 05:42 PM (Pby3z)

239 "She's not thick, she really has no sexy shape to her. She's just a lil chubby but unfortunately for her it didn't goto her butt or boobs."



I don't like to cause a stir by disagreeing, but, our taste in wimmenz takes a wide divergence at this point.

Posted by: Ricardo Kill at August 16, 2016 05:42 PM (cAGTh)

240 She may not be worried, but everyone else who stands a chance of accidental exposure is less than thrilled about its existence.

But that's the thing with liberals/celebrities -- it's always about them.

Posted by: VideoSavant at August 16, 2016 05:43 PM (vEoE1)

241
Sven is right, she looks like Miss Piggy.

And Sarah Silverman looks like ALF.

Posted by: Mister Magoo's at August 16, 2016 05:43 PM (74GXa)

242 218 202 Megan McCain was not mocked until she revealed herself to be insufficiently conservative. And then suddenly she was a disgusting, fat Jabba the Hutt-like monster by many conservatives, like the tribalists here at Ace of Spades.

Posted by: ace of tribalism at August 16, 2016 05:40 PM (iX06C)


That ain't true, and sure as hell no one here ever said she was hot

Posted by: Jollyroger at August 16, 2016 05:43 PM (t06LC)

243 Plenty of lefty actresses I don't mind seeing in the buff. Hell, even Jane Fonda was hot in her Barbarella costume 50 years ago.

I don't want to see Amy Schumer nor Lena Dunham naked, and I wouldn't even if they suddenly sang the praises of Ted Cruz.

If Hector wants to fap to Amy Schumer, Google is at his service

Posted by: kbdabear at August 16, 2016 05:43 PM (vzTqZ)

244 Part of the wave of female comedians who think they can be edgy and funny like guys comics by talking about having sex and periods and doing shit and fart jokes.

Posted by: steevy at August 16, 2016 05:43 PM (fA75F)

245 151 No wonder you're all-in for Trump now. You've adopted his rhetorical style. Don't talk about the issues; just make juvenile insults.

Posted by: Reality


At least he doesn't get a belly laugh out of getting child rapists off.

Posted by: nerdygirl at August 16, 2016 05:43 PM (+lVUW)

246 Fun idea, we should live blog/drinking game Trumps town hall in Milwaukee tonight, I have a feeling it might be interesting.

Posted by: spypeach at August 16, 2016 05:43 PM (nyYhO)

247 Wait! You are the guy with the security monkey that went wild on the plane and threw feces, right? bah.

He is that monkey.

Posted by: Grump928(c) reminds you that all trolls are Average Joe at August 16, 2016 05:43 PM (evdj2)

248 208 202 McCain was nowhere on the radar screen until 2008 when her dad got the nod.

And then she spoke...

Posted by: John P. Squibob at August 16, 2016 05:43 PM (rJOC2)

249 The lefty press gives Amy +50 attractiveness points, just like Lena Dunham and Michelle O., and there's your fucking tribalism, douchebag.

Posted by: Mr. Peebles at August 16, 2016 05:43 PM (Pby3z)

250 Amy Schumer's face looks like someone hit in in the head with a shovel whose blade was shaped like a Chubby Jay Leno and the Chubby Jay Leno shape imprinted on her fat, malleable face.




Posted by: ace at August 16, 2016 05:44 PM (dciA+)

251 Give them credit for always being closing on the proposition that fat chicks are hot.

Still though,no sale.

Posted by: x at August 16, 2016 05:44 PM (nFwvY)

252 That's fine Ricardo. I respect that

Posted by: thathalfrican - at work at August 16, 2016 05:44 PM (+8iaa)

253 That ain't true, and sure as hell no one here ever said she was hot

Wait .. her mom owns a beer distributorship. That's got to win a few hotness points.

Now if she were only a mute.

Posted by: Grump928(c) reminds you that all trolls are Average Joe at August 16, 2016 05:45 PM (evdj2)

254 @222 First time I ever saw Amy Schumer was her Comedy Central half hour show.
----------------

First place I saw her was that "naked in bed with C3-PO" photo shoot.

Thought it was stupid. Thought she must be stupid to be associated with it.

Posted by: junior at August 16, 2016 05:45 PM (mUM5y)

255
All this hype is probably because they have her starring in a couple of movies in the near future.

Posted by: Mister Magoo's at August 16, 2016 05:45 PM (74GXa)

256 Posted by: ace at August 16, 2016 05:44 PM (dciA+)

What?

Posted by: FenelonSpoke at August 16, 2016 05:45 PM (6HqlZ)

257 "Google it Bubbie"



Google thinks it's an Irish slang term for "girlfriend."




Posted by: Ricardo Kill at August 16, 2016 05:45 PM (cAGTh)

258 Amy is Chuckie Schumer's niece. 'Nuff said.

Posted by: Jane D'oh at August 16, 2016 05:45 PM (1ZOkK)

259 Woman who not worried about "it" leaking on sex tape, should never do sex tape that time of month.

Posted by: Po at August 16, 2016 05:45 PM (HgMAr)

260 I would not know who schumer is if I hit her with my car....would i damage my car?

Posted by: Nevergiveup at August 16, 2016 05:46 PM (Ozsfq)

261 @200. Now I miss Wicked Pinto. I sort of remember him. Not for anything particular but liked his name.

Posted by: ChristyBlinky, Infidel Queen at August 16, 2016 05:46 PM (h0PYG)

262
I'd hit it

Posted by: Chuck Schumer at August 16, 2016 05:46 PM (lKyWE)

263 I have a quick and easy litmus test for these stunts female comedians pull. If the exact same thing were done by, say... Jim gaffigan, would you be celebrating it? If the answer is no, ew, what is wrong with you, then the humor of the comedian isn't the primary reason why you're promoting the stunt. And that makes it sexism. And sexism is wrong.

I think this pretty clearly falls into that category.

Posted by: Joe, living mobile at August 16, 2016 05:46 PM (aJcfp)

264 >>>Some people shouldn't be sexualized. Like, the Pope, and Amy Schumer, and the Orc with one arm from The Hobbit. <<<

Speak for yourself, bub.

Posted by: Gollum at August 16, 2016 05:46 PM (jV8Mq)

265 Megan McCain was not mocked until she revealed herself to be insufficiently conservative. And then suddenly she was a disgusting, fat Jabba the Hutt-like monster by many conservatives, like the tribalists here at Ace of Spades.
Posted by: ace of tribalism at August 16, 2016 05:40 PM
*******
I guess you missed all the Sarah Palin commentary here.

Posted by: L, Elle at August 16, 2016 05:46 PM (6IPEM)

266 241 I dunno. I'd hit Silverman.
Not Alf though. Not into furries.

Posted by: HiHo at August 16, 2016 05:46 PM (CPk08)

267 Google thinks it's an Irish slang term for "girlfriend."




Posted by: Ricardo Kill at August 16, 2016 05:45 PM (cAGTh)

Well most Jews I know, well Jewish guys, are into red heads so there is a symmetry there I guess

Posted by: Nevergiveup at August 16, 2016 05:47 PM (Ozsfq)

268 172 Buzz, Iook up Tammy Pescatelli. I like her name. It sounds like a hot girls name.


Posted by: L, Elle at August 16, 2016 05:34 PM (6IPEM)


If you have Netflix, one of her specials are on there. I also find Iliza Shlesinger quite fetching as well.

Both female comics much better looking than Schumer, and both funnier.

Posted by: buzzion at August 16, 2016 05:47 PM (z/Ubi)

269 You know who REALLY needs mocking? Huma's "husband."

Idiot is back to sexting again.

Posted by: Jane D'oh at August 16, 2016 05:47 PM (1ZOkK)

270 " That's fine Ricardo. I respect that"



To each, his own. Not saying it's wrong but saying.....you can have it.

Posted by: Ricardo Kill at August 16, 2016 05:47 PM (cAGTh)

271 Jane, how are you? Labs ok? That's the last I remember with your high BP. Hope all is well. xoxo

Posted by: ChristyBlinky, Infidel Queen at August 16, 2016 05:48 PM (h0PYG)

272 I'd hit Silverman.


I'd have hit Amy Winehouse, so I'm not really that picky.

Posted by: Grump928(c) reminds you that all trolls are Average Joe at August 16, 2016 05:48 PM (evdj2)

273 I have nude pics too, wanna see them!

Posted by: John McSkidmark at August 16, 2016 05:48 PM (wiMhy)

274 Sven is right, she looks like Miss Piggy.

And Sarah Silverman looks like ALF.

Posted by: Mister Magoo's at August 16, 2016 05:43 PM (74GXa)
...........

and Sarah Jessica Parker looks like John Kerry

Posted by: wth at August 16, 2016 05:48 PM (HgMAr)

275 Amy Schumer, Hillary! and Sarah Silverman walk into a bar, and run into Sally Kohn....

Posted by: Jane D'oh at August 16, 2016 05:48 PM (1ZOkK)

276 My favorite female comic is Kathleen Madigan. Haven't heard much from her lately.

Posted by: Joe Hallenbeck at August 16, 2016 05:48 PM (tGmdn)

277 266 241 I dunno. I'd hit Silverman.
Not Alf though. Not into furries.


Posted by: HiHo at August 16, 2016 05:46 PM (CPk0

"Would you throw her out of bed for eating crackers?"

Posted by: El Skippito Friskito at August 16, 2016 05:48 PM (q/kmn)

278 @269...oh, yeah, I am "up" for Carlos Danger Mongoose Ostrich.

Posted by: ChristyBlinky, Infidel Queen at August 16, 2016 05:49 PM (h0PYG)

279 Antknee Weenuh is Fredo, isn't he? The Family needs to take him for a little boat ride.

Posted by: publius (not Breitbart publius) at August 16, 2016 05:49 PM (DW+jj)

280 >>>16 I wonder if you are serious or if you are just playing a juvenile game. Are you seriously arguing that no straight man could really find Amy Schumer attractive? Even when dolled up to look her best? Do you live in that small and bizarre of a world. I know your political thought exists in a tiny conservative bubble, but I didn't know that extended to your view of the non-political world as well.

i'm saying that a woman I might throw a dick into on a drunken bar night at 3am is not necessarily the same woman I'd hire to be a cover model for a fashion magazine.

Let me ask you: Imagine the straight men you know, or the straight men you occasionally see at the unemployment office. Now do you imagine any of them with an arm around Amy Schumer saying "How lucky am I? Come on, how lucky am I?"

Posted by: ace at August 16, 2016 05:49 PM (dciA+)

281 272 Errrrr...Amy's dead.....

Posted by: HiHo at August 16, 2016 05:49 PM (CPk08)

282 Soon you will all find fat women attractive.

Posted by: $19,422,512,268,483.91 at August 16, 2016 05:50 PM (evdj2)

283
I always found that lady on SCTV to be cute. She was in Home Alone and Best In Show, I think.

Posted by: Mister Magoo's at August 16, 2016 05:50 PM (74GXa)

284 On a side note my MIL is driving me insane.

Posted by: ChristyBlinky, Infidel Queen at August 16, 2016 05:50 PM (h0PYG)

285 How much money does Amy Schumer expect to add to the bottom line for playing up her sexuality?

Posted by: Mr. Peebles at August 16, 2016 05:50 PM (Pby3z)

286 Errrrr...Amy's dead.....

Your point?

Posted by: Grump928(c) says Free Soothie! at August 16, 2016 05:50 PM (evdj2)

287 Starting to think that reality is an epic AtC sock. Just has that vibe.

Posted by: Duke Lowell at August 16, 2016 05:50 PM (kTF2Z)

288 And because she is contractually obligated to appear in everything filmed now a days, Melissa McCarthy is in it to make it a three way.

Posted by: Landofskybluewater at August 16, 2016 05:51 PM (jYUyH)

289 284
On a side note my MIL is driving me insane.

Posted by: ChristyBlinky, Infidel Queen at August 16, 2016 05:50 PM (h0PYG)


Seemingly overnight mine turned old and sort of sweet. So I've got that going.

Posted by: Jane D'oh at August 16, 2016 05:51 PM (1ZOkK)

290 Starting to think that reality is an epic AtC sock. Just has that vibe.

Too grammatically correct?

Posted by: Grump928(c) says Free Soothie! at August 16, 2016 05:51 PM (evdj2)

291 On a side note my MIL is driving me insane.
Posted by: ChristyBlinky, Infidel Queen at August 16, 2016 05:50 PM (h0PYG)

My MIL was deaf, senile, and lived with me for 12 years.

Posted by: Nevergiveup at August 16, 2016 05:51 PM (Ozsfq)

292
Sarah Silverman got naked in a shower scene. The most boring naked body I've ever seen.

Posted by: Mister Magoo's at August 16, 2016 05:51 PM (74GXa)

293 If we keep mocking Amy, maybe she will spend the next 40 yrs getting plastic surgery and then die at 80 getting yet more surgery. Still won't make her funny though.

Posted by: Tinfoilbaby at August 16, 2016 05:51 PM (6Ll1u)

294 She may not be cute in literal sense but I am one of those guys who finds her fake, overly feminine parody personality pretty hot.

Like if a chick were ever to come on to me in that manner I am embarrassed to admit it would be a huge turn on.

Posted by: Max Power at August 16, 2016 05:51 PM (q177U)

295 In fairness, she also put on 30 pounds.
Posted by: Grump928(c) reminds you that all trolls are Average Joe at August 16, 2016 05:41 PM (evdj2)

...and said plenty of stupid shit, which auto-qualifies her for multi-category shaming by current (and emeritus) members of the AoSHQ tribe.*

*Includes up to four family members on qualifying threads only.

Posted by: Mr Macca Bean at August 16, 2016 05:51 PM (4ng05)

296 Seth Rogen and Schumer have those unfunny Bud commercials too.

Posted by: Joe Hallenbeck at August 16, 2016 05:52 PM (tGmdn)

297 What dos thick mean? You guys don't mean fat. You mean no discernible waistline?

Posted by: L, Elle at August 16, 2016 05:52 PM (6IPEM)

298
Oh, and wet, Sarah Silverman looks even more like ALF.

Posted by: Mister Magoo's at August 16, 2016 05:52 PM (74GXa)

299 So we are sitting on the Boardwalk in Ocean City Md right this minute. People watching has gotten me at least two Amy Schumer look-alikes, and three trigglypuff replicas.

All stuffing their faces with Boardwalk chunkster specials.

Posted by: Village Idiot's Apprentice at August 16, 2016 05:52 PM (35w+z)

300 I like big butts and I cannot lie...

But Amy Schumer I just can't abide,
That Miss Piggy face,
And ever expanding waist,
My anaconda don't want none, son...

Posted by: Sir Mix-A-Lot at August 16, 2016 05:52 PM (H9MG5)

301 >>>Sarah Silverman got naked in a shower scene. The most boring naked body I've ever seen.

really?! How disappointing. I never knew she got naked.

Posted by: ace at August 16, 2016 05:52 PM (dciA+)

302
lets just say she's very Rubenesque

Posted by: Flawless Male Logic at August 16, 2016 05:52 PM (lKyWE)

303 I'm sure that there are some men, mostly half-bagged and close to last call at the local bar, who would be willing to crawl into the sack with her. Some, I'd imagine, would slink away while she was still asleep., and some few would wait until she woke.

I'm not among them.

What I'm more curious about is:
- in this alleged sex tape, is there a partner, or did she solo?
- if there was a partner, if the partner was male
- whether the partner was either developmentally disabled, or recently out of prison
- how much she had to pay the poor bastard, and
- did he know there was a camera running?

Posted by: Qoheleth at August 16, 2016 05:52 PM (iIzG7)

304
Amy who?Posted by: Diogenes at August 16, 2016 05:10 PM (0tfLf)

I second that emotion, who is she and why should anyone care?

Posted by: Locke Common at August 16, 2016 05:52 PM (I6Am+)

305 Any Hope Solo jokes yet?

Posted by: Max Power at August 16, 2016 05:52 PM (q177U)

306 Completely off topic, but, it's so hot here and I just ran some errands and WOW, JUST WOW, do I hate some people

To wit:

To the woman in line behind me at Hobby Lobby, when your child turned to you and said my elbow hurts, it was because he had just slammed that elbow into my spine. But, hey, sweetie, stay glued to that smartphone while the children one foot in front of you run wild!

To the woman who interrupted my conversation with the PetSmart cashier about a return, waving a piece of paper and asking if you could just pay for the service done on your dog and I said, Sure, go ahead. You then frowned at me and said in a very snotty loud voice, "No, I don't feel like your heart was in it, so I will go to this other line." Honey, baby, sweetie, had I but known that you were the person who left her Chrysler van double parked in front of the door with the engine running, I would have begged you to go first. Silly old me, I just had no clue how durned important you were!!!

Posted by: Sherry McEvil, Stiletto Corsettes Ima going long on popcorn and butter futures!! at August 16, 2016 05:52 PM (kXoT0)

307 Sarah Silverman got naked in a shower scene. The most boring naked body I've ever seen.


Disco bush?

Posted by: Grump928(c) says Free Soothie! at August 16, 2016 05:52 PM (evdj2)

308 I dunno. I'd hit Silverman.

Posted by: HiHo at August 16, 2016 05:46 PM (CPk0

She was cute enough back in the 90s where I wouldn't have minded seeing her take it in the squeaker. But that's mainly because the pain would have taken that stupid look off her face.

Posted by: kbdabear at August 16, 2016 05:53 PM (vzTqZ)

309 296
Seth Rogen and Schumer have those unfunny Bud commercials too.

Posted by: Joe Hallenbeck at August 16, 2016 05:52 PM (tGmdn)


Ugh. I used to find Seth Rogen kind of funny. Now? Not so much.

Posted by: Jane D'oh at August 16, 2016 05:53 PM (1ZOkK)

310
"Thick" is one step up from "Curvy," which is a half-step up from "Buxom."

After "thick," your "plump."

After plump, you're just fat.

Posted by: Mister Magoo's at August 16, 2016 05:53 PM (74GXa)

311 Whitney Cummings is not bad looking but talk about crazy. She is also the creator of Two Broke Girls so that drops her at least two points.

Posted by: Joe Hallenbeck at August 16, 2016 05:53 PM (tGmdn)

312 Hey Reality.

Since Seth Rogen is the gender you're attracted to -- do you find him attractive? Would you think it was normal if every gay mag you opened had a glamour spread of Seth Rogan drooping a banana-hammock?

Posted by: ace at August 16, 2016 05:54 PM (dciA+)

313

Disco bush?


Yeah, so probably fake. But what a lousy body.

Posted by: Mister Magoo's at August 16, 2016 05:54 PM (74GXa)

314 Ugh. I used to find Seth Rogen kind of funny. Now? Not so much.

Posted by: Jane D'oh at August 16, 2016 05:53 PM (1ZOkK)


Then he came out of the closet as a crazy left wing nut...and now I can't stand his face

Posted by: Nevergiveup at August 16, 2016 05:54 PM (Ozsfq)

315
Sarah Silverman got naked in a shower scene. The most boring naked body I've ever seen.
Posted by: Mister Magoo's




"Tante Sarah! Shut the door!"

Posted by: Laurie David's Cervix at August 16, 2016 05:54 PM (kdS6q)

316 L, Elle -

A woman - an attractive one, in physical terms - needs to have a certain ratio of waist to hips. The actual ratio varies, and there are many opinions on the comparative value of certain trimmings, as it were. But a chick with no waist is just a lump. She's gonna need one hell of a personality to overcome that fundamental, evolutionarily hard-wired (heh... I said 'hard') disadvantage.

Posted by: Your Decidedly Devious Uncle Palpatine, Still Accepting Harem Applicants at August 16, 2016 05:55 PM (NIwEs)

317 "Okay, explain this to me: Every time I see Amy Schumer on a magazine cover, she's sexualized."

Because Amy Schumer is not hot, but she desperately wants to be hot and wanted.

Her comedy is just to fill that void. The attention she gets from being funny is a poor, poor substitute for what she really wants.

Posted by: Taco Shack at August 16, 2016 05:55 PM (C+qQ0)

318 Will her sex tape have a laugh track?

Posted by: Willy J. at August 16, 2016 05:55 PM (CDowr)

319 Let me ask you: Imagine the straight men you know, or the straight men you occasionally see at the unemployment office. Now do you imagine any of them with an arm around Amy Schumer saying "How lucky am I? Come on, how lucky am I?"


Posted by: ace at August 16, 2016 05:49 PM (dciA+)


I dunno. She's got an estimated net worth of $10m (based mostly) off the $9m advance she got for her book). I suppose I could deal for a while, at least, if I could hook up with a little of that.

It's like the people who say Chelsea is unattractive. Firstly, she's not, and second, she stands to inherit at least some portion of all that loot.

Posted by: El Skippito Friskito at August 16, 2016 05:55 PM (q/kmn)

320 >>>302
lets just say she's very Rubenesque

but she's not. the misfortune for her is not that she looks like a fat woman; the misfortune for her is that she looks like a fat boy.

Posted by: ace at August 16, 2016 05:55 PM (dciA+)

321 Posted by: Village Idiot's Apprentice at August 16, 2016 05:52 PM (35w+z)

Why do you care? You're not going to date them, are you? Unless you were planning to b the food police and snatch the food out of their faces and say, "You can't eat this. You're FAT! FAT"

Posted by: FenelonSpoke at August 16, 2016 05:55 PM (6HqlZ)

322 286 Rank the following in order of capacity to sexually arouse: a) Mechanical tentacle porn that is not clearly porn (ie "reality" being sexually active)
b) Amy Winehouse necrophilia
c) Amy Schumer

Mine:
#1 b)

#2 and #3 : Dead even tie.

OK, consider your point taken.

Posted by: HiHo at August 16, 2016 05:56 PM (CPk08)

323
Ace, the movie is Take This Waltz (2012).

It's about women and their problems, or something.

Posted by: Mister Magoo's at August 16, 2016 05:56 PM (74GXa)

324 "Seth Rogen and Schumer have those unfunny Bud commercials too."


ace sorta nailed it. Hit in the face with a frying pan.


After too many double cheeseburgers.

Posted by: Ricardo Kill at August 16, 2016 05:56 PM (cAGTh)

325 269 You know who REALLY needs mocking? Huma's "husband."

Idiot is back to sexting again.
Posted by: Jane D'oh at August 16, 2016 05:47 PM (1ZOkK)


Hillary is sexting?
Oh, wait. You meant Huma's other guy.

Posted by: nerdygirl at August 16, 2016 05:56 PM (+lVUW)

326 311 Whitney Cummings is not bad looking but talk about crazy. She is also the creator of Two Broke Girls so that drops her at least two points.
Posted by: Joe Hallenbeck at August 16, 2016 05:53 PM (tGmdn)



Whitney Cummings looks like someone that could be attractive. But she applies lipstick like she's the Joker and shouts all her comedy. You can also tell that it is her humor on 2 Broke Girls. And the only reason that show hasn't been cancelled like the sitcom she was the star of is because the blond is attractive, and Kat Dennings looks like she's smuggling watermelons under her shirt.

Posted by: buzzion at August 16, 2016 05:57 PM (z/Ubi)

327 It's like the people who say Chelsea is unattractive. Firstly, she's not, and second, she stands to inherit at least some portion of all that loot.
Posted by: El Skippito Friskito at August 16, 2016 05:55 PM (q/kmn)

????
You ever see her up close and personal? The word hideous comes to my mind...but yeah the money is the honey.

Posted by: Nevergiveup at August 16, 2016 05:57 PM (Ozsfq)

328 296 Seth Rogen and Schumer have those unfunny Bud commercials too.

Posted by: Joe Hallenbeck at August 16, 2016 05:52 PM (tGmdn)


Those make me actively not want to drink bud light ever again. Like I needed another reason.

Posted by: Jollyroger at August 16, 2016 05:57 PM (t06LC)

329 When a rest-stop trick is humping your head like your heart is on fire and he's trying to put it out with Man-Water, do you ever close your eyes and think of Ben Kingsley in a speedo?

Posted by: ace at August 16, 2016 05:32 PM (dciA+)

Whoa! I thought I was the only one who did that.

Posted by: ObjectionSustained at August 16, 2016 05:58 PM (uCrjJ)

330 Those make me actively not want to drink bud light ever again. Like I needed another reason.
Posted by: Jollyroger at August 16, 2016 05:57 PM (t06LC)

Ya mean that Dutch beer?

Posted by: Nevergiveup at August 16, 2016 05:58 PM (Ozsfq)

331 283 I always found that lady on SCTV to be cute. She was in Home Alone and Best In Show, I think.

She is in a new Canadian sitcom with Eugene Levy called "Shitt's Creek". If you like her and SCTV cast people you'll probably like the show.

It's about a wealthy Kardashian like family that loses everything and has to move to small town Ontario.

Posted by: bananaDream at August 16, 2016 05:58 PM (Ag8Mw)

332
Silverman also gets topless in I Smile Back, whatever that is.

Posted by: Mister Magoo's at August 16, 2016 05:59 PM (74GXa)

333 Now Kat Dennings is definitely Good Thick.

Posted by: ace at August 16, 2016 05:59 PM (dciA+)

334 Re: her sex tape.

How does it differ from a Three Stooges short?

Answer - while both make viewers laugh and wince, the Three Stooges were respected professionals.

Posted by: Your Decidedly Devious Uncle Palpatine, Still Accepting Harem Applicants at August 16, 2016 05:59 PM (NIwEs)

335
What I'm more curious about is:- in this alleged sex tape, is there a partner, or did she solo?- if there was a partner, if the partner was male- whether the partner was either developmentally disabled, or recently out of prison- how much she had to pay the poor bastard, and - did he know there was a camera running?
Posted by: Qoheleth at August 16, 2016 05:52 PM (iIzG7)

Did the partner have 4 legs

Posted by: Flawless Male Logic at August 16, 2016 05:59 PM (lKyWE)

336 Since Seth Rogen is the gender you're attracted to
-- do you find him attractive? Would you think it was normal if every
gay mag you opened had a glamour spread of Seth Rogan drooping a
banana-hammock?





Posted by: ace at August 16, 2016 05:54 PM (dciA+)


Nope, not gonna be able to eat dinner tonight.

Posted by: DangerGirl and her 1.21 gigawatt Sanity Prod at August 16, 2016 05:59 PM (+eR2D)

337 Whoa! I thought I was the only one who did that.

Posted by: ObjectionSustained at August 16, 2016 05:58 PM (uCrjJ)

Which part?

Posted by: BignJames at August 16, 2016 05:59 PM (9Kdhp)

338 lets just say she's very Rubenesque

Let's just say she's very Fisher-Price-esque.

Posted by: accuracy at August 16, 2016 05:59 PM (yLazh)

339 Oh my God, this is the greatest comment thread ever.

I'm actually crying right now. I should save all these Ace comments somehow for later, like say mid-November, when I need some cheering up.

"When you're choosing which dick to play Dirty Bumper Cars with your tonsils" -- that might be my favorite. So many great ones here, too good to choose just one.

Posted by: Pastafarian at August 16, 2016 05:59 PM (sgHEm)

340 "You ever see her up close and personal? The word hideous comes to my mind...but yeah the money is the honey."

The old adage that, for some men, a 3 with six million dollars is a 9.

Posted by: Qoheleth at August 16, 2016 05:59 PM (iIzG7)

341
She is in a new Canadian sitcom with Eugene Levy called "Shitt's Creek". If you like her and SCTV cast people you'll probably like the show.

Thanks I'll check it out.

Posted by: Mister Magoo's at August 16, 2016 06:00 PM (74GXa)

342 With Chelsea Clinton, you can close your eyes and hear the cash register.

With Amy Schumer, the roar of chunky desperation surrounds and devours your soul.

Posted by: wooga at August 16, 2016 06:00 PM (eH3x8)

343 El skippito. We got a live one here.

Posted by: x at August 16, 2016 06:00 PM (nFwvY)

344 Thanks Buzz. I do have Netflix. I'll watch and report back to you.

Posted by: L, Elle at August 16, 2016 06:00 PM (6IPEM)

345 Let's just say she's very Fisher-Price-esque.


ISWYDT, and it hurt.

Posted by: Mrs Weeble at August 16, 2016 06:00 PM (evdj2)

346 "A woman - an attractive one, in physical terms - needs to have a certain ratio of waist to hips. The actual ratio varies, and there are many opinions on the comparative value of certain trimmings, as it were. "



Zackly.


A women carrying extra weight who is pretty in the face, pleasant, funny can be VERY attractive.

Posted by: Ricardo Kill at August 16, 2016 06:00 PM (cAGTh)

347 Actually Amy could double her sex appeal if she were to whip out a cheesesteak and eat it during coitus.

Posted by: Fritz at August 16, 2016 06:00 PM (HVQlX)

348 kat dennings in Thor played the "fat girl" but even buried under Fat Girl Clothes, so much hotter than Natalie Portman.

On the other hand, Amy Schumer looks like Chunk from the Goonies except with Dead Eyes that totally fail to make a connection with the viewer

Posted by: ace at August 16, 2016 06:01 PM (dciA+)

349 No no no, Schumer is NOT Rubenesque. Rubens babes had cute perky tits.

Posted by: HiHo at August 16, 2016 06:01 PM (CPk08)

350 Posted by: Jollyroger at August 16, 2016 05:57 PM (t06LC)

I bet they thought saying " their party has the biggest caucus ever' was the most witty and funniest line ever. It was embarrassingly unfunny for an adult to say. Admittedly I would have laughed myself silly as an 8 year old.

Posted by: Joe Hallenbeck at August 16, 2016 06:01 PM (tGmdn)

351 Definitely not me but there are guys who like well rounded women, guys on a construction site and a woman might pass by and everyone gives approval or not. But I do work with a guy who sees a large rounded woman and he's like Wow look at her and the rest of us look at eachother and we know hes in his own world.

Posted by: Skip at August 16, 2016 06:01 PM (bksJQ)

352 I hear Amy was shopping around for male talent, you know the pros, for her forthcoming secret sex tape which would then be leaked. She asked Danny D.

When he heard, the poor guy's member shrank in half. It was only 6" after that. And the worst case of ED his docs had ever seen resulted. The tried IV infusion of Viagra. Nothing would work. They finally tried some new experimental memory wiping drug.

Thankfully that worked.

Posted by: publius (not Breitbart publius) at August 16, 2016 06:02 PM (DW+jj)

353 346 "A woman - an attractive one, in physical terms - needs to have a certain ratio of waist to hips. The actual ratio varies, and there are many opinions on the comparative value of certain trimmings, as it were. "



Zackly.


A women carrying extra weight who is pretty in the face, pleasant, funny can be VERY attractive.
Posted by: Ricardo Kill at August 16, 2016 06:00 PM (cAGTh)

Witty smart girl makes my junk tingle .

Posted by: Joe Hallenbeck at August 16, 2016 06:02 PM (tGmdn)

354 Seth Rogen and Schumer have those unfunny Bud commercials too.

Posted by: Joe Hallenbeck at August 16, 2016 05:52 PM (tGmdn)

What the hell is the "equal pay" narrative supposed to prove for beer drinkers anyway? It's not like Bud Lite drinkers have the power or position to determine the pay of women.

Maybe Schumer and Rogen should take that schtick to commercials for expensive wines or a Subaru commercial since those of the rich proggies who can do something about equal pay.

Posted by: kbdabear at August 16, 2016 06:02 PM (vzTqZ)

355 "... Did the partner have 4 legs..."

I'm not saying that she's unappealing, but let's just say I won't be surprised when her next booking is in Tijuana.

Posted by: Qoheleth at August 16, 2016 06:02 PM (iIzG7)

356 >>>No no no, Schumer is NOT Rubenesque. Rubens babes had cute perky tits.

they also had cheeks instead of formless, sad expanses between their eyes and their chin

Posted by: ace at August 16, 2016 06:02 PM (dciA+)

357 I watch the end if there is blasting in the face.

Posted by: comedy gold at August 16, 2016 06:02 PM (Wztg5)

358
Silverman also gets topless in I Smile Back
Posted by: Mister Magoo's



Silverman gets topless if you spring for the Cheeseburger Egg Rolls appetizer at Applebees.....

Posted by: Laurie David's Cervix at August 16, 2016 06:03 PM (kdS6q)

359 Hey you guys!

Posted by: Amy Schumer in a Superman T-Shirt at August 16, 2016 06:03 PM (eH3x8)

360 To wit:

To the woman in line behind me at Hobby Lobby, when your child turned to you and said my elbow hurts, it was because he had just slammed that elbow into my spine. But, hey, sweetie, stay glued to that smartphone while the children one foot in front of you run wild!

To the woman who interrupted my conversation with the PetSmart cashier about a return, waving a piece of paper and asking if you could just pay for the service done on your dog and I said, Sure, go ahead. You then frowned at me and said in a very snotty loud voice, "No, I don't feel like your heart was in it, so I will go to this other line." Honey, baby, sweetie, had I but known that you were the person who left her Chrysler van double parked in front of the door with the engine running, I would have begged you to go first. Silly old me, I just had no clue how durned important you were!!!
Posted by: Sherry McEvil, Stiletto Corsettes Ima going long on popcorn and butter futures!! at August 16, 2016 05:52 PM (kXoT0)

You are my spirit animal.

Posted by: Moki at August 16, 2016 06:03 PM (ezHMO)

361 There's always the nba

Posted by: x at August 16, 2016 06:03 PM (nFwvY)

362 Amy Schumer once said the following...

"I'm probably like 160 pounds right now and I can catch a dick whenever I want, like that's the truth. It's not a problem!"

What is sad is that Amy really doesn't understand the difference between male and female sexuality and how it is perceived.

A key that that can open many locks is a master key.

A lock that opens for many keys is a defective lock.

Also, she wasn't anywhere near 160 lbs, then or now.

Posted by: Taco Shack at August 16, 2016 06:03 PM (C+qQ0)

363 Uh oh. Someone is sooo fired at Comcast. They actually have a positive (temporarily, I'm sure) headline up on their homepage.

Trump leads in military households.

I think that may be 'underhanded' positive, given the attitude of progs toward the military.

Posted by: Mr Macca Bean at August 16, 2016 06:04 PM (4ng05)

364 Chunk was funny.
Sloth would have been better.

Posted by: wooga at August 16, 2016 06:04 PM (eH3x8)

365 Laurie David's Cervix -

Heh....a reputed chemist of my acquaintance will be interested and gratified to learn this.

Posted by: Your Decidedly Devious Uncle Palpatine, Still Accepting Harem Applicants at August 16, 2016 06:04 PM (NIwEs)

366 @342...well, that is a whole nuther can to kick down the road, Sonny. Whoa. Even with plastic surgery her face resorts back to Hubble or whoever hit Hilz (since Bubba was firing blanks and all).

And, bless her,she has her Mama's legs.

Posted by: ChristyBlinky, Infidel Queen at August 16, 2016 06:04 PM (h0PYG)

367 " When a rest-stop trick is humping your head like your heart is on fire and he's trying to put it out with Man-Water, do you ever close your eyes and think of Ben Kingsley in a speedo? "



That's. Boy. Well something right there.

Posted by: Ricardo Kill at August 16, 2016 06:05 PM (cAGTh)

368 I'm glad I haven't met most of you in person, with all the shit you'd talk about me being fat.

Posted by: DangerGirl and her 1.21 gigawatt Sanity Prod at August 16, 2016 06:05 PM (+eR2D)

369 Trump leads in military households.

Well that's wonderful, but there are not that many of us and anyway the left is great at seeing that those of us overseas never get their vote counted

Posted by: Nevergiveup at August 16, 2016 06:05 PM (Ozsfq)

370 "333 Now Kat Dennings is definitely Good Thick.

Posted by: ace"


Also, see Milana Vayntrub (AT&T Liliy).

Posted by: Benji Carver at August 16, 2016 06:05 PM (OD2ni)

371 "Witty smart girl makes my junk tingle ."



Personality makes so much difference.

Posted by: Ricardo Kill at August 16, 2016 06:06 PM (cAGTh)

372 I know very little about porn and all it's genres and sub-genres, etc., but, I trust there is a niche out there just slavering at the thought of Amy's sex tape.

Posted by: Sherry McEvil, Stiletto Corsettes Ima going long on popcorn and butter futures!! at August 16, 2016 06:07 PM (kXoT0)

373 Benji -

Yep. A womanly lady.

Posted by: Your Decidedly Devious Uncle Palpatine, Still Accepting Harem Applicants at August 16, 2016 06:07 PM (NIwEs)

374 Posted by: DangerGirl and her 1.21 gigawatt Sanity Prod at August 16, 2016 06:05 PM (+eR2D)


I sort of doubt that you'd bring up how proud you were of your sex tale.

Posted by: Joe, living mobile at August 16, 2016 06:07 PM (aJcfp)

375 Silverman gets topless if you spring for the Cheeseburger Egg Rolls appetizer at Applebees.....


Posted by: Laurie David's Cervix at August 16, 2016 06:03 PM (kdS6q)

Heh....imagine if you bought her a drink.

Posted by: BignJames at August 16, 2016 06:07 PM (9Kdhp)

376 (ducks and runs from Dangergirl)

Posted by: Skip at August 16, 2016 06:07 PM (bksJQ)

377 >>>No no no, Schumer is NOT Rubenesque. Rubens babes had cute perky tits.

they also had cheeks instead of formless, sad expanses between their eyes and their chin

Posted by: ace at August 16, 2016 06:02 PM (dciA+)


Schumer is Rubesque, as in Rube Goldberg.

Posted by: Old Hippie at August 16, 2016 06:07 PM (zc3Db)

378 I'm a liberal and don't find Amy Schumer funny at all. I've never thought about her looks either way. It is a shame that these women who are adored by young high school girls say idiotic things about their sex lives that will cause girls to believe they have to act like porn stars to gain favorable attention from men.

Now, OT, but WTF?


Rep. Steve King (R-Iowa), a conservative stalwart and adamant Ted Cruz supporter, told MSNBC's Morning Joe Hillary Clinton, if elected president, would be "someone I can work with." King praised Clinton for the way she conducted herself as Secretary of State when she met with the immigration subcommittee where he was a senior member.

"I found those conversations to be reasonable policy based because there was no one in the room listening," King said about the meetings.

"You can talk business with her," King said. "Whether she reacts to that outside that room or not is unproven as far as I am concerned."

Posted by: Bernette at August 16, 2016 06:07 PM (3LwCF)

379 Fen.

These individuals in particular are the ones who dont ride the motorized shopping cart because they are too large to walk.
They are too large to walk becauseof riding the motorized shopping cart, and filling it with twinkies.

We all have areas where we could improve.
Me?
i suffer from terminal uggliness wath a face for radio, a voice for print and a body which is suffering from excessive lower chest development.

Posted by: Village Idiot's Apprentice at August 16, 2016 06:07 PM (35w+z)

380 DG has a sex tale?


Posted by: Ricardo Kill at August 16, 2016 06:08 PM (cAGTh)

381 Two of the greatest lovers and most attractive women in my career were both heavier than I was.

But they carried it well, and were both sharp as new razors.

Posted by: Your Decidedly Devious Uncle Palpatine, Still Accepting Harem Applicants at August 16, 2016 06:08 PM (NIwEs)

382 Also, see Milana Vayntrub (AT&T Liliy).

Posted by: Benji Carver at August 16, 2016 06:05 PM (OD2ni)


You're Velcome.

Posted by: ThePrimordialOrderedPair at August 16, 2016 06:08 PM (zc3Db)

383 Maybe Amy should start sexting Carlos Danger. She could be "Sex Kitten" or something and catfish him in. I think we all need to see his masterful exhibit again. About as much as I want to see a sex tape of anyone. Thank you very much.

Posted by: ChristyBlinky, Infidel Queen at August 16, 2016 06:08 PM (h0PYG)

384 I wouldn't talk about you being fat. Unless you had a sex tape and released it. Then I'd talk about you in any way that you (or people who expressed repressed crushes on you) might find annoying.

I prefer a pumpkin left in the sun for a while to just about anyone. Fewer complications.

Posted by: HiHo at August 16, 2016 06:08 PM (CPk08)

385 All I can say is Amy Schumer is totally hot, and if I were interested in women, instead of Fat Bi-Curious Male Furries, I'd be totally into her.

Instead, i'm over here stroking off this plus-sized Fozzie the Bear

Posted by: Reality at August 16, 2016 06:09 PM (dciA+)

386 DG has a sex tale?







Posted by: Ricardo Kill at August 16, 2016 06:08 PM (cAGTh)


I think he meant "sex table".
That contraption I strap my victims to, you know.

Posted by: DangerGirl and her 1.21 gigawatt Sanity Prod at August 16, 2016 06:09 PM (+eR2D)

387 385
All I can say is Amy Schumer is totally hot, and if I were interested in
women, instead of Fat Bi-Curious Male Furries, I'd be totally into her.



Instead, i'm over here stroking off this plus-sized Fozzie the Bear

Posted by: Reality at August 16, 2016 06:09 PM (dciA+)


Lol. Ace. *dies*

Posted by: Jane D'oh at August 16, 2016 06:10 PM (1ZOkK)

388 Crap. I posted this:
"I wouldn't talk about you being fat. Unless you had a sex tape and released it. Then I'd talk about you in any way that you (or people who expressed repressed crushes on you) might find annoying.

I prefer a pumpkin left in the sun for a while to just about anyone. Fewer complications."
in response to Posted by: DangerGirl and her 1.21 gigawatt Sanity Prod at August 16, 2016 06:05 PM (+eR2D)

Posted by: HiHo at August 16, 2016 06:10 PM (CPk08)

389 Ugh. I used to find Seth Rogen kind of funny. Now? Not so much.

Posted by: Jane D'oh at August 16, 2016 05:53 PM (1ZOkK)

I thought he was funny until he equated Chris Kyle with a Nazi.

I try real hard to keep my politics away from my entertainment, but smearing a war hero was a bridge too far for me. it was back when the commies were desperate to tear down Kyle so the movie wouldn't do well. I'm still so disgusted.

Posted by: stace...TEXIT at August 16, 2016 06:10 PM (ozZau)

390 WeaselDog likes pork rinds.

Posted by: Weasel at August 16, 2016 06:10 PM (Sfs6o)

391 "That contraption I strap my victims to, you know."

I was wondering if you have a newsletter to which I might be able to subscribe...

Posted by: Qoheleth at August 16, 2016 06:10 PM (iIzG7)

392
When a rest-stop trick is humping your head like your heart is on fire
and he's trying to put it out with Man-Water, do you ever close your
eyes and think of Ben Kingsley in a speedo?



Posted by: ace at August 16, 2016 05:32 PM (dciA+)










Teh Ewok is on fire.

Posted by: IllTemperedCur at August 16, 2016 06:11 PM (LuZz8)

393
Two of the greatest lovers and most attractive women in my career were both heavier than I was.


Uh....career? Nuh-uh.

Posted by: BignJames at August 16, 2016 06:11 PM (9Kdhp)

394 378 You have nothing to fear from Hillary Clinton presidency.

Posted by: steevy at August 16, 2016 06:11 PM (fA75F)

395 "385 All I can say is Amy Schumer is totally hot, and if I were interested in women, instead of Fat Bi-Curious Male Furries, I'd be totally into her.

Instead, i'm over here stroking off this plus-sized Fozzie the Bear
Posted by: Reality"


Ah, so that was you in the room that Wendy saw at the end of The Shining. "Great party isn't it."

Posted by: Benji Carver at August 16, 2016 06:11 PM (OD2ni)

396 306 Completely off topic, but, it's so hot here and I just ran some errands and WOW, JUST WOW, do I hate some people

Ugh. There is a reason Amazon is so successful.

The reason I do not CCW is because of convenience stores. You go in those places and invariably there is someone playing scratch-off lottery tickets, and they are leaning on the counter scratching it off ever so slowly, and chatting it up with the cashier as if they are some high roller in Monte Carlo. The worst part is when they win a small amount and commence to buy more tickets, and in real time strategize their next move more carefully than Bobby Fisher kicking Boris Spaasky's ass. And they usually are dirty and smell bad.

Posted by: ObjectionSustained at August 16, 2016 06:11 PM (uCrjJ)

397 I think he meant "sex table".
That contraption I strap my victims to, you know.
Posted by: DangerGirl and her 1.21 gigawatt Sanity Prod
******
That is explains the use of the Sanity Prod and what you did with that.

Posted by: L, Elle at August 16, 2016 06:11 PM (6IPEM)

398 Seriously, I am not offended.


Sometimes though, when I see the kind of women that are called "fat" I just have to shake my head. I would kill to have some of these "fat" bodies.

Posted by: DangerGirl and her 1.21 gigawatt Sanity Prod at August 16, 2016 06:11 PM (+eR2D)

399 I happy to report I have no fucking clue what an Amy Schumer is. Please Lord, keep me ignorant.

Posted by: LAST WEEK'S NEWS TODAY at August 16, 2016 06:12 PM (svFmG)

400 I've said before you can have identical twins, pretty face but overweight. One constantly complains about her weight but makes no attempt to do anything about it and eats like crap. The other is active and exercises. Watches what she eats . People who don't know them can't tell them apart.

They look completely different to me.

Posted by: Joe Hallenbeck at August 16, 2016 06:12 PM (tGmdn)

401 BignJames -

Fine. Career is perhaps not the mot juste.

Catalogue? Roll-call?

Posted by: Your Decidedly Devious Uncle Palpatine, Still Accepting Harem Applicants at August 16, 2016 06:12 PM (NIwEs)

402

I've never been the same since I saw that Nora Dunn sextape.

So corrosive to not only the eyes and genitals, but to the heart, as well as young children.

Posted by: Rev Dr E Buzz The Main Dude My Man Esq at August 16, 2016 06:12 PM (mop5z)

403 "I think he meant "sex table".



This isn't near the kitchen where you make the jam, is it?

Posted by: Ricardo Kill at August 16, 2016 06:12 PM (cAGTh)

404 >>>Sometimes though, when I see the kind of women that are called "fat" I just have to shake my head. I would kill to have some of these "fat" bodies.
Posted by: DangerGirl

well, i don't think Amy Schumer is fat. She's just kind of... formless.

she also has no charisma or sparkle or life in the eyes nor an alluring turn of the mouth or... anything. Anything at all.

I can usually find one good feature on a woman to focus on but with schumer, i don't know.

I guess she's got a nice enough fivehead.

Posted by: ace at August 16, 2016 06:13 PM (dciA+)

405 Milana Vayntrub!!!


Back into the hot soapy shower...

Posted by: Diogenes at August 16, 2016 06:13 PM (r65B3)

406 RK -

And now I'm thinking of what was to become my favorite desk at my old office.....

Posted by: Your Decidedly Devious Uncle Palpatine, Still Accepting Harem Applicants at August 16, 2016 06:14 PM (NIwEs)

407 Posted by: Joe Hallenbeck at August 16, 2016 06:12 PM (tGmdn)

Effort and attitude contribute significantly to attractiveness.

Posted by: Joe, living mobile at August 16, 2016 06:14 PM (aJcfp)

408 I know she is beloved here, but some of you guys describe Kate Upton as thick which is why elbows are a meme here

Posted by: L, Elle at August 16, 2016 06:14 PM (6IPEM)

409 "Seriously, I am not offended."



Shouldn't be. What some people "fat" for women these days is ridiculous. Who wants a waif?

Posted by: Ricardo Kill at August 16, 2016 06:14 PM (cAGTh)

410 I did not look at links, Ace, but I figure she looks about like one of those peoples from Walmart. So, not looking. Between this and my MIL I might blow a carotid.

Ok, so here's the deal, peeps. My MIL, who used to drive me cray when she was not senile (and I do bless her heart as she does have good qualities and all that, and is the mother of my husband)...welp, she has some issues with bladder. Which, I figure, lots of ladies at 85ish have. Ok. Here's the deal: some wacko doctor has put it in her head that she needs BOTOX in her bladder. She barely drinks enough water on any given day to not drop her unstable BP to 70/30 and get fainty. Ok. So I have told her my opinion, that I am conservative in all ways (threw that one in as she leans left). She does not a) need botox in any part of body, b) does not need sedation of any type with her unstable BP and wonky brain, c) could have bladder infections (yes, looked up), d) could need to be cathed, and e) needs to repeat every 9 months or so. I mean, wear the damn diaper!! I get to take her to discuss this with this urologist next week and I will go insane, no doubt, and cause a fracas as I am going to speak up. ugh. And this is a good day if she does not pull a fainting spell in heat, in car or walking (with her walker, by damn). I suddenly feel the urge to move back to Floriduh pronto.

Posted by: ChristyBlinky, Infidel Queen at August 16, 2016 06:15 PM (h0PYG)

411
Actually Amy could double her sex appeal if she were to whip out a cheesesteak and eat it during coitus.

Posted by: Fritz at August 16, 2016 06:00 PM (HVQlX)









Hell yes. You could pretend you were having a threesome with Schumer and Hope Solo.

Posted by: IllTemperedCur at August 16, 2016 06:15 PM (LuZz8)

412 kate Upton as "thick"? Holy crap no.

Posted by: HiHo at August 16, 2016 06:15 PM (CPk08)

413 Posted by: Your Decidedly Devious Uncle Palpatine, Still Accepting Harem Applicants at August 16, 2016 06:12 PM (NIwEs)


Why not conquest?....piss some people off.

Posted by: BignJames at August 16, 2016 06:16 PM (9Kdhp)

414
Shouldn't be. What some people "fat" for women these days is ridiculous. Who wants a waif?
Posted by: Ricardo Kill at August 16, 2016 06:14 PM (cAGTh)


I do find Katherine Timpf from Fox hot.

Posted by: Flawless Male Logic at August 16, 2016 06:16 PM (lKyWE)

415
Actually Amy could double her sex appeal if she were to....
Posted by: Fritz




...flip over?

Posted by: Laurie David's Cervix at August 16, 2016 06:16 PM (kdS6q)

416 "A woman - an attractive one, in physical terms - needs to have a certain ratio of waist to hips. The actual ratio varies, and there are many opinions on the comparative value of certain trimmings, as it were. "


This is why I find Kate Upton NOT that attractive. Her waistline begins at her sternum. Yes, enormous tracts of land, but without the proper WTHR, she's just a curiosity. Plus, in 10 years she's gonna be bloated and blowsy.

Posted by: pep at August 16, 2016 06:17 PM (LAe3v)

417 >>>well, i don't think Amy Schumer is fat. She's just kind of... formless.


Posted by: ace at August 16, 2016 06:13 PM (dciA+)<<<




**squirt**

Posted by: Gloop and Gleep (from the Herculoids) at August 16, 2016 06:17 PM (H9MG5)

418 "but some of you guys describe Kate Upton as thick which is why elbows are a meme here"




Supple. Filled out. Curvy.


Doesn't look like a 10-year boy.


*I know Harry Reid with show up now*

Posted by: Ricardo Kill at August 16, 2016 06:17 PM (cAGTh)

419 415 Which side is up generally?

Posted by: HiHo at August 16, 2016 06:17 PM (CPk08)

420 Posted by: Village Idiot's Apprentice at August 16, 2016 06:07 PM (35w+z)

Well, you have a good sense of self deprecating humor which makes up for your supposed pulchritudinous deficiencies. :^)

Posted by: FenelonSpoke at August 16, 2016 06:18 PM (6HqlZ)

421 A woman - an attractive one, in physical terms - needs to have a certain ratio of waist to hips. The actual ratio varies, and there are many opinions on the comparative value of certain trimmings, as it were.

There have been studies done, and in general, worldwide, the preferred ratio is 0.7.

Just to keep the "I was told there would be no math on this blog" subset of the Horde universe pacified Sir Mix-A-Lot prefers a lower ratio.

Posted by: Duncanthrax at August 16, 2016 06:18 PM (0q4vG)

422 I think the thing that bugs the hell out of most of us here, is the left *telling us* who is beautiful and who isn't.

Michelle Obama is the most glamorous, gorgeous FLOTUS ever.

Melania Trump was a racist in the white dress she wore for her speech (seriously, that was said by someone in the media).

I'm so sick and f*cking tired of being told that if I don't find someone on the left beautiful, I'm a window-licking, mouth-breathing rube from flyover country.

Posted by: Jane D'oh at August 16, 2016 06:18 PM (1ZOkK)

423 well, i don't think Amy Schumer is fat. She's just kind of... formless.


What do you have against Amoeboid Americans?

Posted by: pep at August 16, 2016 06:18 PM (LAe3v)

424 BignJames -

How can they be conquests when it was me they won over?

And for the horde - check out the Catalogue Aria from Don Giovanni. Pull up the libretto and prepare to smile, knowingly.

Posted by: Your Decidedly Devious Uncle Palpatine, Still Accepting Harem Applicants at August 16, 2016 06:19 PM (NIwEs)

425 This isn't near the kitchen where you make the jam, is it?

Posted by: Ricardo Kill at August 16, 2016 06:12 PM (cAGTh)


HA! No, I make the jam in the dungeon room.

Posted by: DangerGirl and her 1.21 gigawatt Sanity Prod at August 16, 2016 06:19 PM (+eR2D)

426 "I do find Katherine Timpf from Fox hot."



Oh, Hell yeah. That thing she does with her eyes and the rimmed glasses.

Posted by: Ricardo Kill at August 16, 2016 06:19 PM (cAGTh)

427 410 I did not look at links, Ace, but I figure she looks about like one of those peoples from Walmart. So, not looking.

Posted by: ChristyBlinky, Infidel Queen at August 16, 2016 06:15 PM (h0PYG)

I give that a pass, too. If someone's at the point in their life where they need to color their hair that color and pierce that thing and wear those clothes and that's what it took to be able to look in the mirror and say "ok enough, I guess" then it's not for me to say different.

I feel terrible for the people in awful physical condition- heavy, old, or whatever else- that I pass by, but I can't assume from looking at them it was bad choices that got them there.

Posted by: El Skippito Friskito at August 16, 2016 06:20 PM (q/kmn)

428
What do you have against Amoeboid Americans?
Posted by: pep




Gelatinous Cube Lives Matter!

Posted by: Laurie David's Cervix at August 16, 2016 06:20 PM (kdS6q)

429 I saw a video of Kate Upton on tmz the other day, she lost weight almost looked like to much

Posted by: Tinfoilbaby at August 16, 2016 06:20 PM (6Ll1u)

430 btw for 'ettes who are offended let me make this clear:

Obviously, there is the Civilian Standard of beauty, and the pro standard.

Most of us guys judge girls in real life on the Civilian Standard. It's more forgiving -- but then, we want to be judged by that looser standard ourselves!

The Pro-Standard is tougher.

I'm judging Amy Schumer by the pro standard because everytime I see her she's in fishnets and a bra trying to appear enticing.

Most normal girls with normal looks don't do that.

Schumer is a plain woman -- nothing wrong with that -- who seems to insist only on being photographed in glamour shots better suited for models.

Like I said: She's inviting the Male Gaze

It's almost as if she's daring me to lay the Male Gaze on her, and then say "Nah, not for me," so she can then criticize me for it.

Posted by: ace at August 16, 2016 06:21 PM (dciA+)

431 "HA! No, I make the jam in the dungeon room."


Okay, good.


Er.......wait.

Posted by: Ricardo Kill at August 16, 2016 06:21 PM (cAGTh)

432 Posted by: Your Decidedly Devious Uncle Palpatine, Still Accepting Harem Applicants at August 16, 2016 06:19 PM (NIwEs)

So, you're a slut? Yeah, me too.

Posted by: BignJames at August 16, 2016 06:21 PM (9Kdhp)

433 I remember reading a piece by an anthropologist. The dude was an expert on the subject of evolutionary beauty standards and all that.

Fashion models are an aberration -- and we all can guess why. They sort of look like teenage boys, body shape wise. That's what the men who design fashion actually like.

Porn however, is the true market deciding. The women there meet the criteria ( exaggerated in many cases) of this evolutionary standard.

It's why we all like Kate Upton, but the high fashion prefers a different type.

Posted by: publius (not Breitbart publius) at August 16, 2016 06:21 PM (DW+jj)

434 I happy to report I have no fucking clue what an Amy Schumer is. Please Lord, keep me ignorant.
Posted by: LAST WEEK'S NEWS TODAY at August 16, 2016 06:12 PM (svFmG)'

I have only seen one short monologue by her, because my kid showed me, and I thought it was amusing, but I don't like how she always devolves to talking about her cooch.

If it's a vulgar fictional character doing that I don't mind, but I don't want to receive running reports on what's going on with some other woman's actual personal hoohah.

Posted by: stace...TEXIT at August 16, 2016 06:21 PM (ozZau)

435 Awwww, Ace. We love ya.


Now how about some hot men for the 'ettes to drool over?

Posted by: Jane D'oh at August 16, 2016 06:22 PM (1ZOkK)

436 "Enter the Dojo"'s "Cynthia" is thick hot....

http://www.imdb.com/name/nm3053274/?ref_=ttfc_fc_cl_t5

Juliet Lopez

Posted by: sven10077 at August 16, 2016 06:23 PM (SzZnW)

437 >>>

This is why I find Kate Upton NOT that attractive. Her waistline begins at her sternum. Yes, enormous tracts of land, but without the proper WTHR, she's just a curiosity. Plus, in 10 years she's gonna be bloated and blowsy.

let me jump on that grenade for you, Soldier

Posted by: ace at August 16, 2016 06:23 PM (dciA+)

438 Now how about some hot men for the 'ettes to drool over?


Posted by: Jane D'oh


No, I'm camera shy.

Posted by: pep at August 16, 2016 06:23 PM (LAe3v)

439 kate Upton as "thick"? Holy crap no.

Posted by: HiHo at August 16, 2016 06:15 PM (CPk0


She's not thick. She's a bit misshapen ... but her tits make up for it.

Posted by: ThePrimordialOrderedPair at August 16, 2016 06:23 PM (zc3Db)

440 Like I said: She's inviting the Male Gaze
It's almost as if she's daring me to lay the Male Gaze on her, and then say "Nah, not for me," so she can then criticize me for it.
Posted by: ace at August 16, 2016 06:21 PM (dciA+)
********
Post comes full circle. You answered the original question posed.

Yup, that's exactly it. It's a trap

Posted by: L, Elle at August 16, 2016 06:23 PM (6IPEM)

441 Reality seems to have left the room.

Probably checking out Weiner's latest sex text.

Posted by: Jane D'oh at August 16, 2016 06:24 PM (1ZOkK)

442
We don't go around judging fat women and putting them down UNLESS they stick their fat in your face and DEMAND you judge them and judge them positively.

Posted by: Mister Magoo's at August 16, 2016 06:24 PM (74GXa)

443 439 Preeeeecisely.

Posted by: HiHo at August 16, 2016 06:24 PM (CPk08)

444 Gentleman. In my day I was hot, thinner but athletic and had curves, smart and fun. Hollow leg at parties, could drink men under the table.

Two very large babies and many decades later, still have curves, and fatter, but not peoples of Walmart fat or butt the size of Kardsashian, I am still a former super model. Husband still loves me cause I do not look like Chelsea even when I wake up looking like a corpse in the am. I am a good cook, good companion, and still smart and funny.

The slight adipose tissue in face keeps it from falling in (see: Pelosi). After forty women need to decide on their face or their behind. I chose my face. No need for botox. Smiles help, too. The fat on my hindquarters may work as an airbag if I still have it in twenty years and fall down. Women with a little padding have less broken hips.

Saying all this, I am (thankfully) healthy, can still look good in a swimsuit if not up against that skinny Kate Moss, and, in some corners, would be "fat." I swim the equivalent of five football field laps and call it a day. So, bite moi.xoxo

Posted by: ChristyBlinky, Infidel Queen at August 16, 2016 06:24 PM (h0PYG)

445 let me jump on that grenade for you, Soldier

All yours. I'll be over here with Sophie.

Posted by: pep at August 16, 2016 06:24 PM (LAe3v)

446
You know who was thick?

Anna Nicole Smith.

She went from thick to plump, tho.

Posted by: Mister Magoo's at August 16, 2016 06:25 PM (74GXa)

447
Now how about some hot men for the 'ettes to drool over?





Posted by: Jane D'oh

Matt Damon!

Posted by: BignJames at August 16, 2016 06:25 PM (9Kdhp)

448 Well, nobody is talking about the one-armed Orc with fencenet stockings.


I don't know whether to be surprised, disappointed or just ambivalent about the whole thing.

Why can't we talk about Orcs?

Posted by: Bossy Conservative...pondering the future at August 16, 2016 06:25 PM (RFeQD)

449 434 Posted by: stace...TEXIT at August 16, 2016 06:21 PM (ozZau)

Miss Piggy is "mocking" a funhouse mirror version of what she thinks male comics joke about and what men talk about amongst themselves.

I assure you that even with friends of mine of 38 of my 44 years we do not devolve into long analytical diatribes on penile discharge or the preferred hanging vector of our cranks.

Modern "female" comics trend heavily towards having the restraint and tact of lobotomized sub-average intellect five year olds.

Posted by: sven10077 at August 16, 2016 06:26 PM (SzZnW)

450 Matt Damon!


Posted by: BignJames at August 16, 2016 06:25 PM (9Kdhp)


Um, no.

Who was that soap star who spoke at the RNC? Jeebus. *fans self*

Posted by: Jane D'oh at August 16, 2016 06:26 PM (1ZOkK)

451 Now how about some hot men for the 'ettes to drool over?
Posted by: Jane D'oh at August 16, 2016 06:22 PM


You've got Muldoon. What more do you want? There aren't too many bigger


senses of humor out there...

Posted by: Duncanthrax at August 16, 2016 06:27 PM (0q4vG)

452 It's almost as if she's daring me to lay the Male
Gaze on her, and then say "Nah, not for me," so she can then criticize
me for it.





Posted by: ace at August 16, 2016 06:21 PM (dciA+)


Well sure, that way she can fit you into her box (SWIDT?) of "men bad!" and reinforce her stereotyping of her little liberaltard feminazi world.

Posted by: DangerGirl and her 1.21 gigawatt Sanity Prod at August 16, 2016 06:27 PM (+eR2D)

453 Adam Baldwin is hot. Very.

Posted by: Jane D'oh at August 16, 2016 06:27 PM (1ZOkK)

454 420 Posted by: Village Idiot's Apprentice at August 16, 2016 06:07 PM (35w+z)

Well, you have a good sense of self deprecating humor which makes up for your supposed pulchritudinous deficiencies. :^)


Anybody know how to post comments, and look up definitions at the same time?

Its hard enought just to cut and paste, and I think Fen just called me a bad name.

Posted by: Village Idiot's Apprentice at August 16, 2016 06:28 PM (35w+z)

455 [Blaine and Antoine together]

HATED IT!

Posted by: Men on Film at August 16, 2016 06:28 PM (DHDiP)

456 Fashion models are an aberration -- and we all can guess why. They sort of look like teenage boys, body shape wise. That's what the men who design fashion actually like.

Porn however, is the true market deciding. The women there meet the criteria ( exaggerated in many cases) of this evolutionary standard.

It's why we all like Kate Upton, but the high fashion prefers a different type.


Posted by: publius (not Breitbart publius) at August 16, 2016 06:21 PM (DW+jj)

Fashion models are different, but I'm curious if adult female stars are different from the anthropological standard, too. I saw a short documentary a year or two ago about a photographer who'd published several very well-received books of professional shots of regular people; each page had a shot of the person, clothed, next to a shot of the person, nude. He finally decided to do one of adult actors and actresses. It was interesting to see them with just them in the shot, barely posed.

Posted by: El Skippito Friskito at August 16, 2016 06:28 PM (q/kmn)

457 While I may be trashier and nastier than a portapotty after a Luke Bryant concert, I'm still not Amy Schumer's face.

Posted by: Hope Solo's HooHoo and Butthole at August 16, 2016 06:28 PM (Wztg5)

458 I may not have been much to look at but I made people laugh. And Gene loved me just as I was.

Posted by: Gilda Radner at August 16, 2016 06:28 PM (FXW24)

459 >>>Now how about some hot men for the 'ettes to drool over?


see, in a way, I think women have it easier.

While different guys have different ideals as far as women (I'd take kat dennings over natalie portman any day; a lot of guys would say i'm crazy for picking the "fat" girl), isn't the female idea of male beauty kind of... generally the same?

I imagine women aren't going to disagree that Chris Evans is hot, for example.

Well, I guess what it comes down to, for both men and woman, are which flaws do you really hate and which virtues do you really love, so, given we can't have it all in a romantic partner, we wind up taking things we don't necessarily love, but which aren't really the things we seriously don't like.

Posted by: ace at August 16, 2016 06:28 PM (dciA+)

460 Amy Schumer's idea of a sex tape is Photoshopping her fat fucking face on Jennifer Lawrence's body.

Posted by: Fritz at August 16, 2016 06:29 PM (HVQlX)

461
Say what you want about Amy Schumer but after 450 comment the thread is still on topic

Posted by: Flawless Male Logic at August 16, 2016 06:29 PM (lKyWE)

462 I enjoy profanity. In comedy it's pretty much a necessity, if you've got a really great joke to begin with.

Amy Schumer doesn't have great jokes but insists on the profanity. I can listen to maybe five minutes before the remote beckons.

Posted by: free range 'sorta' conservative but not 'true' conservative at August 16, 2016 06:29 PM (ZnIt3)

463 Because I don't have a TV or do social media very much (The only thing I know about Amy Schumer or see a picture o here is what I read and see here) I can't get excited about what she says or does. And maybe it has to do with being happily married and not on the dating market, but looks are not terribly important to me, which isn't to say I don't find attractive people.. well, very attractive, but I'm more likely to find someone attractive who is funny, kind and smart and who probably shares my faith. I've been bowled over by people who aren't gorgeous, but they made up for it in other ways.

Posted by: FenelonSpoke at August 16, 2016 06:30 PM (6HqlZ)

464 You know who was thick?
Anna Nicole Smith.
She went from thick to plump, tho.
Posted by: Mister Magoo's at August 16, 2016 06:25 PM
*******
That's a better example of thick than I can think of. I think she was a plus size model at some point too. When she was in great form though, man, she was beautiful.

Posted by: L, Elle at August 16, 2016 06:31 PM (6IPEM)

465 something for the ettes

https://www.pinterest.com/pin/307370743288625956/

YW

Posted by: spypeach at August 16, 2016 06:31 PM (nyYhO)

466 fashion models are selling the clothes, not the model

maybe fashion guys want the fabric to "flow" or hang or what not?

Not me. I'd like to see the fabric strain a bit in places.

Posted by: ace at August 16, 2016 06:31 PM (dciA+)

467 Flaws in women?

Navel lint is a big turnoff for me.

And bloodshot eyes. A women with bloodshot eyes is trouble on two legs.

Posted by: Bossy Conservative...pondering the future at August 16, 2016 06:32 PM (RFeQD)

468 You know who was thick?

Anna Nicole Smith.

She went from thick to plump, tho.

--

Hot at all sizes, imo.
It was the eyes & lips.

Posted by: @votermom at August 16, 2016 06:32 PM (7lVbc)

469 I imagine women aren't going to disagree that Chris Evans is hot, for example.

I not going to disagree but iI simply have no idea who Chris Evans is.

Posted by: FenelonSpoke at August 16, 2016 06:32 PM (6HqlZ)

470 Posted by: FenelonSpoke at August 16, 2016 06:30 PM (6HqlZ)

You mean there could be more to relationships than shallowness and superficiality?

Posted by: BignJames at August 16, 2016 06:32 PM (9Kdhp)

471 I think intelligence and a great sense of humor trumps looks every time.

Also, I love manly men, not some wispy metrosexual type.

I met Adam Sandler last summer, and he took my hand as we were talking. I totally lost focus because he had the softest, smoothest hands I had ever felt.

All I could think was, "Jeeze, I wonder what skin care product he uses on his hands? They're amazing!"

Clearly, they're the hands of a guy who doesn't labor at anything other than his craft.

Posted by: Jane D'oh at August 16, 2016 06:32 PM (1ZOkK)

472 469 Posted by: FenelonSpoke at August 16, 2016 06:32 PM (6HqlZ)

Chris Evans=Captain America

Posted by: sven10077 at August 16, 2016 06:32 PM (SzZnW)

473 i like the downturned Bitch Lips that Anna Nicole Smith, Kat Dennings, and Kate Winslet all have.

I say "Bitch Lips" but I don't think they're bitches. But that kind of sour look? With nice fat lips?

Yeah, I'm down with that.

Posted by: ace at August 16, 2016 06:33 PM (dciA+)

474 I not going to disagree but iI simply have no idea who Chris Evans is.

Posted by: FenelonSpoke at August 16, 2016 06:32 PM (6HqlZ)


He was the only sane person (i.e. non-leftist) in Sunshine and the one who saved the Earth and everyone on it.

Posted by: ThePrimordialOrderedPair at August 16, 2016 06:33 PM (zc3Db)

475 Amy may not be worried but by God the rest of us are.

Posted by: Richard McEnroe at August 16, 2016 06:33 PM (+hd5N)

476 If she's worried about her "sex tape" "leaking" I wonder if she understands that "sex tape" is a videotape of her having sex, not a VHS tape she uses as a sex toy. Which God help us all, I did not need to know about.

Posted by: scooter (not libby) at August 16, 2016 06:34 PM (WKeEA)

477
Yeah, Anna Nicole Smith was a legit beauty.

Speaking of, say, Natalie Portman, no one will ever say she's beautiful.

Also a true beauty: Audrey Hepburn.

They are quite rare.

Posted by: Mister Magoo's at August 16, 2016 06:34 PM (74GXa)

478 Posted by: sven10077 at August 16, 2016 06:32 PM (SzZnW)

O.k. You name the film and I probably haven't seen it so yes, I have never seen Captain America.

Posted by: FenelonSpoke at August 16, 2016 06:34 PM (6HqlZ)

479 Here's a pic of my package.

Check out my nuts!

http://tinyurl.com/z9975qy

Posted by: eleven at August 16, 2016 06:34 PM (qUNWi)

480 471 Posted by: Jane D'oh at August 16, 2016 06:32 PM (1ZOkK)

He makes insane money to craft substandard product of late.

Say what you will about FLotUS but if the whole "Kronos Konsort" thing doesn't work out for her she can go back to playing middle linebacker for the Bears or bricklaying.

Posted by: sven10077 at August 16, 2016 06:34 PM (SzZnW)

481 There was an article in the Daily mail that showed pron stars with and without makeup, you could be standing right next to a pron star and never know it. Makeup artist really had meaning to me after that, it is art.

Posted by: Tinfoilbaby at August 16, 2016 06:34 PM (6Ll1u)

482 i like the downturned Bitch Lips that Anna Nicole Smith, Kat Dennings, and Kate Winslet all have.

I say "Bitch Lips" but I don't think they're bitches. But that kind of sour look? With nice fat lips?

Yeah, I'm down with that.

Posted by: ace at August 16, 2016 06:33 PM (dciA+)


I think they used to be described as "pouty" lips.

Posted by: ThePrimordialOrderedPair at August 16, 2016 06:35 PM (zc3Db)

483 Queen Latifa.

To me, she is a beautiful woman.
Larger then some?
Yes.


But very attractive.

Posted by: Village Idiot's Apprentice at August 16, 2016 06:35 PM (35w+z)

484 That's a better example of thick than I can think
of. I think she was a plus size model at some point too. When she was
in great form though, man, she was beautiful.

Posted by: L, Elle

I heard Anna Nicole Smith talk some years ago (before she got dead).

That woman was an imbecile. Really. She was stupid. She talked like a drooling 8 year old.

Women can be a lot less than supermodel good lookin', even plain. But being dumb is just a deal killer.

Posted by: Bossy Conservative...pondering the future at August 16, 2016 06:35 PM (RFeQD)

485 I imagine women aren't going to disagree that Chris Evans is hot, for example.
*******
Yeah, he isn't hot. He is just way too pretty. I hate pretty men.

I thought of a thick girl example, Jessica Simpson. Her weight has gone up and down, but she has what seems to be a body naturally inclined toward thick.

Posted by: L, Elle at August 16, 2016 06:35 PM (6IPEM)

486
I say "Bitch Lips" but I don't think they're bitches. But that kind of sour look? With nice fat lips?

Ace, the ultimate bitch lips:

Alicia Silverstone!

She's adorable. Always thought she was hot. Elizabeth Shoo, too.

Posted by: Mister Magoo's at August 16, 2016 06:35 PM (74GXa)

487 Amy Schumer has resting bitch body.

Posted by: eleven at August 16, 2016 06:35 PM (qUNWi)

488 well, i don't think Amy Schumer is fat. She's just kind of... formless.

Yeah, she's looks less like a woman and more like a girl that's put on extra baby fat right before she undergoes puberty.

I suspect if she lost the extra fat, she'd look ok for guys who like the big ass, small tits look.

and losing fat would make her eyes pop and lose that two raisins pushed into a suet pudding thing she has going on.

Posted by: naturalfake at August 16, 2016 06:35 PM (HGtd0)

489 Speaking of, say, Natalie Portman, no one will ever say she's beautiful.

Posted by: Mister Magoo's at August 16, 2016 06:34 PM (74GXa)


I will. She's very beautiful.

Posted by: ThePrimordialOrderedPair at August 16, 2016 06:36 PM (zc3Db)

490 478 Posted by: FenelonSpoke at August 16, 2016 06:34 PM (6HqlZ)

Captain America 1,2,and 3...

The Avengers flicks....

http://tinyurl.com/hvjpxsj

Posted by: sven10077 at August 16, 2016 06:36 PM (SzZnW)

491 Posted by: Village Idiot's Apprentice at August 16, 2016 06:2

Work on your terpsichorean ecdysiastical skills, and you'll never not be in demand.

Posted by: Duncanthrax at August 16, 2016 06:36 PM (0q4vG)

492 In fact, I don't know if this is true of guys-but I would assume so and it's true of women generally, but if you grow to know and really like or love someone who is average looking, the become more attractive because you like or love them.

Posted by: FenelonSpoke at August 16, 2016 06:37 PM (6HqlZ)

493 You know who is still really beautiful? Sophia Loren.

Posted by: Jane D'oh at August 16, 2016 06:37 PM (1ZOkK)

494 >>>Ace, the ultimate bitch lips:

Alicia Silverstone!

She's adorable. Always thought she was hot. Elizabeth Shoo, too

...

oh I was trying to think of Alicia Silverstone. She's got the ultimate Bitch Lips.

I just saw her in a (replay of) Blast from the Past. What a mouth.

Posted by: ace at August 16, 2016 06:37 PM (dciA+)

495
Blast From The Past is on my Top 20 movies. Great movie.

Posted by: Mister Magoo's at August 16, 2016 06:38 PM (74GXa)

496 See never said it was a straight sex tape.

You're welcome.

Posted by: trouble with the curve at August 16, 2016 06:38 PM (Wztg5)

497 It's a funny thing, cultural ideals of beauty....

My angel has hips, good, strong legs, and a lovely rump.

But, for cultural reasons, she's self-conscious, precisely about those features. She has sisters who conform more closely to what theu consider ideal, and I swear, a machinist could use them as straight-edge gauges.

Posted by: Your Decidedly Devious Uncle Palpatine, Still Accepting Harem Applicants at August 16, 2016 06:38 PM (NIwEs)

498 Anna Nicole Smith also has that problem with looking like a corpse in the morning

Posted by: Boulder terlit hobo at August 16, 2016 06:38 PM (0QzMM)

499 >>>492 In fact, I don't know if this is true of guys-but I would assume so and it's true of women generally, but if you grow to know and really like or love someone who is average looking, the become more attractive because you like or love them.
Posted by: FenelonSpoke

goes the other way too. I've met women who I thought were attractive and then when I got to know them I just didn't see them as physically attractive any longer.

Posted by: ace at August 16, 2016 06:38 PM (dciA+)

500 "It's why we all like Kate Upton, but the high fashion prefers a different type."

Kate Upton is a classic Sports Illustrated model, which fits with what most guys think is a beautiful woman. There's a bell curve of female pulchritude and she's six sigma. Yes she's full bodied, but so is everything else on her, and she has moves. Google "Kate Upton dance." You're welcome.

I used to joke that Giselle Bundchen, another SI model, is what gay guys think is an attractive woman -- slightly androgynous. I'd still hit it.

I'd need Mister Magoo beer goggles to get Amy to a five. Not that there's anything wrong with that but she's built a career out of doing what she thinks is guy humor, from a woman's perspective. I don't find her funny, except for the jokes that she steals.

Posted by: Ignoramus at August 16, 2016 06:38 PM (r1fLd)

501 Posted by: sven10077 at August 16, 2016 06:36 PM (SzZnW)

Thanks Sven. You're a good sport for trying to educate me :^) but the last thing having to do with Avengers I saw was with Emma Peel and John Steed. :^)

Posted by: FenelonSpoke at August 16, 2016 06:38 PM (6HqlZ)

502 >> Fashion models are different, but I'm curious if adult female stars are
>> different

I'll try to find that article -- I may not have much luck.

But I remember as the "porn model" sample, he used Twisty's "Treats", actually measured the relevant variables. This is the waist-hip ratio, as well as more detailed stuff like like a "masculine" vs "feminine" facial shape. Testosterone has a marked effect on the facial bone structure.

Anyway, IIRC, the Twisty's "Treats" all met the "very feminine" standards, while fashion modes, had more masculine faces and other features.

Posted by: publius (not Breitbart publius) at August 16, 2016 06:38 PM (DW+jj)

503

I will. She's very beautiful.


PoP, you also like Shemp. So we have nothing further to discuss.

Posted by: Mister Magoo's at August 16, 2016 06:38 PM (74GXa)

504 That's weird. Alicia Sivelstone's mouth is a huge turnoff for me.

People literally do see things differently.

Posted by: eleven at August 16, 2016 06:38 PM (qUNWi)

505 481 Posted by: Tinfoilbaby at August 16, 2016 06:34 PM (6Ll1u)

They trend towards subpar complexions.

When I did some guarding for them they definitely have the "before" and "after" warpaint thing going on.

Whore E Wood as a whole has taken "make-up" damn near to VR heights.

Posted by: sven10077 at August 16, 2016 06:38 PM (SzZnW)

506 Evans is hard if you don't watch the superhero stuff, as that's what made him a star. I haven't seen Sunshine, but I liked him in Push, but that's really just a superhero movie without costumes.

Posted by: El Skippito Friskito at August 16, 2016 06:39 PM (q/kmn)

507 You know who was thick? Anna Nicole Smith. She went from thick to plump, tho.Posted by: Mister Magoo's 

But she 'scaled' well. She kept the same ratio of chest to waist, waist to hip, while packing on the pounds. So, still 'attractive'.

I don't think women understand the concept of mathematical ratios.

Posted by: free range 'sorta' conservative but not 'true' conservative at August 16, 2016 06:39 PM (ZnIt3)

508
You know who is still really beautiful? Sophia Loren.


Posted by: Jane D'oh

She's graceful, feminine and always carried herself with a lot of dignity.

Yes, that makes a woman very attractive. She was very sexual, but you knew she knew it, and she wasn't trashy.

Posted by: Bossy Conservative...pondering the future at August 16, 2016 06:39 PM (RFeQD)

509 PoP, you also like Shemp. So we have nothing further to discuss.

Posted by: Mister Magoo's at August 16, 2016 06:38 PM (74GXa)


Shemp was an artiste!

Posted by: ThePrimordialOrderedPair at August 16, 2016 06:39 PM (zc3Db)

510 >>>Anna Nicole Smith also has that problem with looking like a corpse in the morning

Posted by: Boulder terlit hobo at August 16, 2016 06:38 PM (0QzMM)<<<

So did that rich husband of hers.

Posted by: the Grim Reaper at August 16, 2016 06:39 PM (H9MG5)

511 Yes...Anna Nicole Smith is looking rather corpulent these days.

Posted by: eleven at August 16, 2016 06:39 PM (qUNWi)

512 501 Posted by: FenelonSpoke at August 16, 2016 06:38 PM (6HqlZ)

Heh "good luck" the Uma Thurman remake was "YEARRRGH" not even Sean Connery chewing on scenery could save it.

Posted by: sven10077 at August 16, 2016 06:39 PM (SzZnW)

513 Posted by: ace at August 16, 2016 06:38 PM (dciA+)

I've never had that experience but I believe you. I always thought people were good looking whether they turned out to be unpleasant people or not.

Posted by: FenelonSpoke at August 16, 2016 06:39 PM (6HqlZ)

514 Kathy Griffin sex tape. Discuss.

Posted by: Jane D'oh at August 16, 2016 06:40 PM (1ZOkK)

515 493 You know who is still really beautiful? Sophia Loren.

--


She is a goddess.

Posted by: @votermom at August 16, 2016 06:40 PM (7lVbc)

516
I don't think women understand the concept of mathematical ratios.

In art and photography there's something called the Rule Of Thirds (1/3rds), I think.

Proportions, my man. Proportions are the key.

Posted by: Mister Magoo's at August 16, 2016 06:40 PM (74GXa)

517 I haven't seen Sunshine, but I liked him in Push, but that's really just a superhero movie without costumes.

Posted by: El Skippito Friskito at August 16, 2016 06:39 PM (q/kmn)


I really liked Push. That was one fun, fun movie.

Posted by: ThePrimordialOrderedPair at August 16, 2016 06:40 PM (zc3Db)

518
Proportions and Symmetry.

Posted by: Mister Magoo's at August 16, 2016 06:41 PM (74GXa)

519 Posted by: sven10077 at August 16, 2016 06:39 PM (SzZnW)

Didn't see that either, sven. I was talking about the British show from the 60s. :^)

Posted by: FenelonSpoke at August 16, 2016 06:41 PM (6HqlZ)

520 I'll take Adam Baldwin any day.

Posted by: Jane D'oh at August 16, 2016 06:41 PM (1ZOkK)

521
502 >> Fashion models are different, but I'm curious if adult female stars are
>> different

I'll try to find that article -- I may not have much luck.

But I remember as the "porn model" sample, he used Twisty's "Treats", actually measured the relevant variables. This is the waist-hip ratio, as well as more detailed stuff like like a "masculine" vs "feminine" facial shape. Testosterone has a marked effect on the facial bone structure.

Anyway, IIRC, the Twisty's "Treats" all met the "very feminine" standards, while fashion modes, had more masculine faces and other features.


Posted by: publius (not Breitbart publius) at August 16, 2016 06:38 PM (DW+jj)

Here's the one I was thinking of: 30 stars, photographed clothed and unclothed in the same pose. It's actually from 2004.

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0438492/

Posted by: El Skippito Friskito at August 16, 2016 06:41 PM (q/kmn)

522
Has the guy who loves Winona Ryder shown up yet?

Posted by: Flawless Male Logic at August 16, 2016 06:42 PM (lKyWE)

523
Shemp was an artiste!

Shemp was the man who replaced one of the Stooges.
He was no Stooge.

Posted by: Mister Magoo's at August 16, 2016 06:42 PM (74GXa)

524 514 Posted by: Jane D'oh at August 16, 2016 06:40 PM (1ZOkK)

That's the one where she eats Anderson Cooper and splits into two smaller Ginger "comics" via binary fission....like an amoeba?

Posted by: sven10077 at August 16, 2016 06:42 PM (SzZnW)

525 >>>You know who was thick? Anna Nicole Smith. She went from thick to plump, tho.

>>>Posted by: Mister Magoo's

But she 'scaled' well.

Posted by: free range 'sorta' conservative but not 'true' conservative at August 16, 2016 06:39 PM (ZnIt3)


After surgery, at least.

Posted by: ThePrimordialOrderedPair at August 16, 2016 06:42 PM (zc3Db)

526 Natalie Portman and Audrey Hepburn are (were) TOTAL babes.

Hepburn was the second woman I had a crush on back when I was 9.

The first being my grade 3 teacher who got married and broke my heart. The faithless bimbo.

Posted by: HiHo at August 16, 2016 06:42 PM (CPk08)

527
That's the one where she eats Anderson Cooper and splits into two smaller Ginger "comics" via binary fission....like an amoeba?


Posted by: sven10077 at August 16, 2016 06:42 PM (SzZnW)


Lol. I'm convinced she's a tranny.

Posted by: Jane D'oh at August 16, 2016 06:43 PM (1ZOkK)

528 "While different guys have different ideals as far as women (I'd take kat dennings over natalie portman any day; a lot of guys would say i'm crazy for picking the "fat" girl), isn't the female idea of male beauty kind of... generally the same?

I imagine women aren't going to disagree that Chris Evans is hot, for example. "

Eh, not really. (I don't know who Evans is, so can't speak to him.)

I ran into a picture online the other day that had all the covers of the People Magazine Sexiest Man Alive, and a good portion of them were a big meh to me.

I don't care for pretty boys, usually.

Posted by: stace...TEXIT at August 16, 2016 06:43 PM (ozZau)

529 DO you remember Curly trying to get off the COUCH with a spring stuck to his Pants?

Posted by: elevenwing plover at August 16, 2016 06:43 PM (qUNWi)

530 As the robot in the movie Ex Machina, Alicia Vikander is designed by Genius Guy from an analysis of the Nerdy Guy's pron viewing, but with bigger breasts than Alicia's natural ones. Or did he hack my computer?

Posted by: Ignoramus at August 16, 2016 06:44 PM (r1fLd)

531 Magoo :

Rule of Thirds works..... you don't want perfect symmetry in all planes. No, you want a certain dynamic tension to draw the eye.

True for women.

Posted by: Your Decidedly Devious Uncle Palpatine, Still Accepting Harem Applicants at August 16, 2016 06:44 PM (NIwEs)

532 I was watching an old Fred Astaire movie on TCM the other day (don't judge me!) and they had a scene in which a Russian watches women modeling lingerie. My overwhelming impression was that they liked 'em heavier in those days. I mean, heavy legs.

Posted by: pep at August 16, 2016 06:44 PM (LAe3v)

533 I'll take Adam Baldwin any day.
Posted by: Jane D'oh at August 16, 2016 06:41 PM (1ZOkK)

Love him. I like rugged manly guys.

Posted by: stace...TEXIT at August 16, 2016 06:44 PM (ozZau)

534 Marilyn Monroe would be considered fairly chunky these days.

Posted by: Jane D'oh at August 16, 2016 06:45 PM (1ZOkK)

535
Am I the only one who noticed how "thick" Ginger was on Gilligan's Island?

She was not slender at all. She had big thick legs and a big bumbum. Nearly perfect.

Posted by: Mister Magoo's at August 16, 2016 06:45 PM (74GXa)

536 Thick women and no mention of that red head from Mad Men?

This place is slipping.

Posted by: the Grim Reaper at August 16, 2016 06:45 PM (H9MG5)

537 482 i like the downturned Bitch Lips that Anna Nicole Smith, Kat Dennings, and Kate Winslet all have.

I say "Bitch Lips" but I don't think they're bitches. But that kind of sour look? With nice fat lips?

Yeah, I'm down with that.

Posted by: ace at August 16, 2016 06:33 PM (dciA+)

I think they used to be described as "pouty" lips.
Posted by: ThePrimordialOrderedPair at August 16, 2016 06:35 PM (zc3Db)


Yes, Brigitte Bardot used to be described that way.

Posted by: rickl at August 16, 2016 06:45 PM (sdi6R)

538 Natalie Wood (pre-death) was very attractive.

You know who else strikes me as about as unattractive qs Amy?


Miley Cyrus.

Posted by: Village Idiot's Apprentice at August 16, 2016 06:45 PM (35w+z)

539 If it's a vulgar fictional character doing that I don't mind, but I don't want to receive running reports on what's going on with some other woman's actual personal hoohah.
Posted by: stace...TEXIT at August 16, 2016 06:21 PM (ozZau)

Give me the damn nuclear codes, give them to me now!

Posted by: Hiillary's Superannuated HooHah at August 16, 2016 06:45 PM (kXoT0)

540 My angel has hips, good, strong legs, and a lovely rump.

But, for cultural reasons, she's self-conscious, precisely about those features.
Posted by: Your Decidedly Devious Uncle Palpatine, Still Accepting Harem Applicants at August 16, 2016 06:38 PM


Your mission, Mr. Palpatine, should you choose to accept it, is to disabuse her, frequently and with vigor, of that notion.

Good luck, Uncle!

Posted by: The voice on the recording at August 16, 2016 06:45 PM (0q4vG)

541 533 I'll take Adam Baldwin any day.
Posted by: Jane D'oh at August 16, 2016 06:41 PM (1ZOkK)

Love him. I like rugged manly guys.
Posted by: stace...TEXIT at August 16, 2016 06:44 PM (ozZau)



Amen. Sam Elliott comes to mind too...

Posted by: Moki at August 16, 2016 06:46 PM (ezHMO)

542
Meanwhile,

there's a nood going on without us.

Posted by: Mister Magoo's at August 16, 2016 06:47 PM (74GXa)

543
The Pro-Standard is tougher.



I'm judging Amy Schumer by the pro standard because everytime I see her she's in fishnets and a bra trying to appear enticing.



Most normal girls with normal looks don't do that.



Schumer is a plain woman -- nothing wrong with that -- who seems to
insist only on being photographed in glamour shots better suited for
models.



Like I said: She's inviting the Male Gaze



It's almost as if she's daring me to lay the Male Gaze on her, and
then say "Nah, not for me," so she can then criticize me for it.





Posted by: ace at August 16, 2016 06:21 PM (dciA+)







The thing is, the Pro Standard isn't just about being forward, or inviting the Male Gaze. She's doing it as a targeted publicity campaign in order to sell books, movie tickets, live performance tickets, magazines at the grocery store etc. It has NOTHING to do with her self-esteem or her well-being.

She's working. This is part of her JOB. And when she inevitably starts whining about fat-shaming or whatever, it's a case of the Jon Stewart-esque "clown nose on/clown nose off" thing, except that she's working in the Pro Standard world, but expecting to all of the sudden have her looks/sexuality judged by the Civilian Standard when the Pro Standard becomes inconvenient.

She deserves to be criticized not because she is unable to fulfill the Pro Standard, but because she is cynically flip-flopping between the two Standards in order to manipulate public opinion in order to sell products.

Posted by: IllTemperedCur at August 16, 2016 06:47 PM (LuZz8)

544 Amy Schumer is hot for a Minion. Her fireplug form is hot, hot, hot!

Posted by: Minion Sex Representative at August 16, 2016 06:48 PM (3b9U4)

545
By todays standard Marilyn Monroe would be thick

Posted by: Flawless Male Logic at August 16, 2016 06:48 PM (lKyWE)

546 As for thick women, Marilyn Monoe and Jane Russell would not be able to work today, they wore a size 16 and 18 respectively. In today's world only size 0 to 2 need apply.

I am a size 8 and that is considered YUGE.

Posted by: Sherry McEvil, Stiletto Corsettes Ima going long on popcorn and butter futures!! at August 16, 2016 06:49 PM (kXoT0)

547 Marilyn Monroe would be considered fairly chunky these days.Posted by: Jane D'oh

Probably just in the hips. Nice chest to waist ratio. But to my eye, probably 38" hips.

Posted by: free range 'sorta' conservative but not 'true' conservative at August 16, 2016 06:49 PM (ZnIt3)

548
No, by today's standards, Marilyn Monroe would've been Voluptuous...just like she was back then.

Posted by: Mister Magoo's at August 16, 2016 06:50 PM (74GXa)

549 No, by today's standards, Marilyn Monroe would've been Voluptuous...just like she was back then.
Posted by: Mister Magoo's at August 16, 2016 06:50 PM (74GXa)

But, today, she wouldn't get the bombshell leading lady roles, she would be the funny pretty BFF who is always dieting.

Posted by: Sherry McEvil, Stiletto Corsettes Ima going long on popcorn and butter futures!! at August 16, 2016 06:51 PM (kXoT0)

550 547 Marilyn Monroe would be considered fairly chunky these days.Posted by: Jane D'oh

Probably just in the hips. Nice chest to waist ratio. But to my eye, probably 38" hips.
Posted by: free range 'sorta' conservative but not 'true' conservative at August 16, 2016 06:49 PM (ZnIt3)

Christina Hendricks = Marilyn Monroe

Posted by: Joe Hallenbeck at August 16, 2016 06:52 PM (MNgU2)

551 How "chubby" is too much does vary with time, and with cultures. It's one of those subjective cultural things. But underlying it all, you find the same basic things like waist-hip ratios, the facial proportions, and other hard-wired standards in the male brain.

Posted by: publius (not Breitbart publius) at August 16, 2016 06:53 PM (DW+jj)

552 Amy Schumer = Can of Play-Doh = Heavenly!

Posted by: Minion Sex Representative at August 16, 2016 06:53 PM (3b9U4)

553
Amen. Sam Elliott comes to mind too...
Posted by: Moki at August 16, 2016 06:46 PM (ezHMO)

GAH! Even just his voice.
Dodge
Ram

Posted by: stace...TEXIT at August 16, 2016 06:53 PM (ozZau)

554 "Shemp was the man who replaced one of the Stooges."
=====

Nope. Shemp was one of the originals. Curly replaced him, and then he came back after Curly had a stroke.

Posted by: Kensington at August 16, 2016 06:53 PM (7Kbxu)

555 The last time I had the misfortune to see Kathy Griffin on TV, it was for some New Years thing on some channel. She looked like Martin Short in a wig doing an 'unflattering celebrity impersonation of Kathy Griffin', which made it hilarious.

We give Martin Short two snaps up, with a twist.

Posted by: Men on Film at August 16, 2016 06:54 PM (DHDiP)

556 I'm still trying to find that article. I'm remembering more. There is the clothes-hanger argument, the "big breasts would take away from the clothes", and the "tall women naturally select for more masculine features" argument. About why high fashion models look like teenage boys.

Posted by: publius (not Breitbart publius) at August 16, 2016 06:55 PM (DW+jj)

557 Marilyn Monroe would have been dating an NBA player.

Posted by: Joe Hallenbeck at August 16, 2016 06:55 PM (MNgU2)

558
485 I imagine women aren't going to disagree that Chris Evans is hot, for example.
*******
Yeah, he isn't hot. He is just way too pretty. I hate pretty men.

I thought of a thick girl example, Jessica Simpson. Her weight has gone up and down, but she has what seems to be a body naturally inclined toward thick.
Posted by: L, Elle at August 16, 2016 06:35 PM (6IPEM)


I'll give simple metric for what a woman wants that can fall into two categories for attractiveness. Do you want Legolas or Aragorn?

Posted by: buzzion at August 16, 2016 06:57 PM (ubNJB)

559 You can research MM's dress size. Apparently the sizing system has changed over the years

MM was 5'5"/5'6" and mostly weighed 117 to 120, although she got up to 140 in the late 1950s She was 36D 24 34.

I wouldn't call her chubby,

Posted by: Ignoramus at August 16, 2016 06:57 PM (r1fLd)

560 Hillary's really good about looking the other way with rapists.

Not only with Bill, but she also got that guy who raped a 12 year old off the hook when she was a young defense attorney.

And she was really willing to forgive and forget (well, mostly forget) about all those guys that violated me in Benghazi.

What a great lady!

Posted by: zombie Chris Stevens at August 16, 2016 06:58 PM (H9MG5)

561 oops. wrong thread.

Posted by: zombie Chris Stevens at August 16, 2016 06:58 PM (H9MG5)

562 I'm just amazed she could find a partner. I wonder if she pays for sex.

Posted by: Bob at August 16, 2016 06:58 PM (fVGlW)

563
Miley Cyrus.
Posted by: Village Idiot's Apprentice at August 16, 2016 06:45 PM (35w+z)


Her voice sounds like she came out of the womb smoking a pack a day and hasn't quit.

Posted by: buzzion at August 16, 2016 07:01 PM (z/Ubi)

564 >>>Do you want Legolas or Aragorn?

um you mean Edward or Jacob dork

Posted by: Twilight4Ever at August 16, 2016 07:07 PM (dciA+)

565 Okay, explain this to me: Every time I see Amy Schumer on a magazine cover, she's sexualized.

Promoting the idea that Amy Schumer is sexy is in-line with the totalitarian strategy of forcing subjects to say things that are obviously untrue.

Posted by: zincfinger at August 16, 2016 07:10 PM (dwCy9)

566 Yup, there you go, Ace. She's ok looking. Not great and not bad. If she were conservative, you'd think she's ok looking. You certainly wouldn't bash her looks. But since she's liberal, she's fucking hideous, looking like the monster from the Goonies.

Your opinions are all tribalism, all the time.

Enjoy president Hillary Rodham Clinton. And enjoy the raging dumpster fire that is the Republican Party. I know I've been enjoying the hell out of it. And you just keep throwing gasoline on that fire, fighting the various factions that you dislike. "Circular firing squad" just isn't quite enough. It's more like you're stuffed in a pit tossing grenades at each other. And the rest of us get to enjoy you blowing each other up.

So we have 8 years of President Hillary Rodham Clinton to look forward to. And I will particularly look forward to your "preference cascade" analysis 4 years from now (everyone is going to abandon her any day now!). And then maybe President Michelle Obama after that. This isn't the country you want it to be. I don't think it ever was. And it never will be. Just relax and enjoy it.

Posted by: Reality at August 16, 2016 07:10 PM (iX06C)

567 Posted by: Reality at August 16, 2016 07:10 PM (iX06C)

mere trolling

Posted by: FenelonSpoke at August 16, 2016 07:13 PM (6HqlZ)

568 566 what does that have to do with Amy schumer's wildly out-of -whack -with- reality self image?

Really to be fair. She's a miss piggy knock off. It's schitck. Miss piggy isn't all that but everyone acts like it. Basically Amy Schumer is a Muppet. The meanest and most annoying one.

We about done here?

Posted by: Simplemind at August 16, 2016 07:19 PM (1/dEZ)

569 Your opinions are all tribalism, all the time.

Says the Chief Harridan of the Amy Schumer Dare Not Be Mocked Tribe.

Posted by: projection, thy name is progressivism at August 16, 2016 07:22 PM (yLazh)

570 Ace: This fixation on PC feminist icons is kind of making you look like a mouthbreather, you know? Just let it go.

Posted by: Fnord at August 16, 2016 07:24 PM (ZgRru)

571 This isn't the country you want it to be. I don't think it ever was. And it never will be. Just relax and enjoy it.

Meh. In the world you want, I'll be eating your liver, Joe.

Posted by: Grump928(C) says Free Soothie!, with purchase of commenter of equal or greater value at August 16, 2016 07:25 PM (rwI+c)

572 Just let it go.

Why?

Posted by: Grump928(C) says Free Soothie!, with purchase of commenter of equal or greater value at August 16, 2016 07:26 PM (rwI+c)

573 568 I don't think she thinks she's hot. I think she's trying to make herself look as good as possible to try to sell "hot" because she can be more successful if people think she's better looking.

Posted by: Reality at August 16, 2016 07:33 PM (iX06C)

574 572 Why?

Because it makes him look petty and ridiculous. But he doesn't need to stop if he wants to continue to look petty and ridiculous.

Posted by: Reality at August 16, 2016 07:35 PM (iX06C)

575 "Promoting the idea that Amy Schumer is sexy is in-line with the totalitarian strategy of forcing subjects to say things that are obviously untrue."
======

See also this sentence I read today in an article about a certain celebrity's reality show getting cancelled.

"There will be no third season for "I Am Cait" its star Caitlyn Jenner revealed online today. The docuseries starring the former Bruce Jenner as she embraced her life as a woman..."

There are at least five elements in that which are untrue but which we are now pressured to pretend are true.

Posted by: Kensington at August 16, 2016 07:38 PM (7Kbxu)

576 575 My god that "totalitarian" line is paranoid nonsense. I'm surprised Ace didn't write it.

Posted by: Reality at August 16, 2016 07:49 PM (iX06C)

577 Keep preaching your sense, brother. May it serve you well.

Posted by: zincfinger at August 16, 2016 07:52 PM (dwCy9)

578 Your viewpoint is becoming increasingly rare and marginalized in this country. But I'm glad you've found a corner of the internet where you share your crazy opinions and theories. They become less relevant with each passing year (except for the deep south).

Posted by: Reality at August 16, 2016 07:58 PM (iX06C)

579 Because it makes him look petty and ridiculous.

Just like that snot-nosed little kid! How dare he declare the obviously true!

Posted by: some Emperor dressed in finery visible only to the good-hearted prog at August 16, 2016 07:59 PM (yLazh)

580 Hector, when you're going down on a guy, do you know He's Not The One if the tip of your nose gets bruised before the back of your throat?

Posted by: ace at August 16, 2016 07:59 PM (dciA+)

581 Amy Schumer is a Muppet. The meanest and most annoying one.

Posted by: Simplemind at August 16, 2016 08:06 PM (1/dEZ)

582 Your viewpoint is becoming increasingly rare and marginalized in this country. But I'm glad you've found a corner of the internet where you share your crazy opinions and theories. They become less relevant with each passing year (except for the deep south).

Putting aside your sillier assumptions, you are correct. My public policy views were minority from the time I developed them, and have likely become moreso.

Posted by: zincfinger at August 16, 2016 08:07 PM (dwCy9)

583 Right. She is an utter slob. Ridiculous.

Posted by: TedCruzLegThrill at August 16, 2016 08:19 PM (i1KHZ)

584 Amy Schumer sex tape, aka, the least searched for thing on the internet.

Posted by: sniffybigtoe at August 16, 2016 08:28 PM (bKHc1)

585 580 Hector, when you're going down on a guy, do you know He's Not The One if the tip of your nose gets bruised before the back of your throat?

I have no idea what this is about and am far too lazy to figure it out but it does seem like a good start to a line of questioning.

Posted by: TedCruzLegThrill at August 16, 2016 08:43 PM (i1KHZ)

586 585 No one knows what Ace's odd fixation with homosexual imagery is about. But he enjoys it and it's harmless.

Posted by: Reality at August 16, 2016 09:12 PM (iX06C)

587 Oooooooh, I get it now. All of Ace's cock sucking talk was because he was fasting. And that fasting clearly makes him cranky, hungry, horny and leads to particularly stupid, tribal, thought-free commentary.

Oh, and never give up on that preference cascade, Ace!

Posted by: Reality at August 16, 2016 09:15 PM (iX06C)

588 Never give up proclaiming the attractiveness of Amy Schumer, "Reality"!

Because she's hot.

Really.

NBC told you so.

Posted by: progressivism is a mental illness at August 16, 2016 10:09 PM (yLazh)

589 UMMM YUCK!!

Posted by: someassholestolemypen at August 16, 2016 10:59 PM (XfJV2)

590 I (sort of) remember an episode of the Drew Carey show in which he made a sex tape with his girlfriend -- a VHS, which you whippersnappers may not have heard of, but you can probably Google, or whatever kids these days call it -- and they were going to just put it in with his other videotapes, but they didn't want anyone else to find it. They were pondering what label to put on it, and his girlfriend said, "it has to be something that won't make anyone want to watch it," and he suggested, "how about `Drew Carey sex tape'?"

Posted by: Steven at August 17, 2016 12:59 AM (esHk0)

(Jump to top of page)






Processing 0.06, elapsed 0.0734 seconds.
15 queries taking 0.016 seconds, 599 records returned.
Page size 277 kb.
Powered by Minx 0.7 alpha.



MuNuvians
MeeNuvians
Polls! Polls! Polls!
Frequently Asked Questions
The (Almost) Complete Paul Anka Integrity Kick
Top Top Tens
Greatest Hitjobs

The Ace of Spades HQ Sex-for-Money Skankathon
A D&D Guide to the Democratic Candidates
Margaret Cho: Just Not Funny
More Margaret Cho Abuse
Margaret Cho: Still Not Funny
Iraqi Prisoner Claims He Was Raped... By Woman
Wonkette Announces "Morning Zoo" Format
John Kerry's "Plan" Causes Surrender of Moqtada al-Sadr's Militia
World Muslim Leaders Apologize for Nick Berg's Beheading
Michael Moore Goes on Lunchtime Manhattan Death-Spree
Milestone: Oliver Willis Posts 400th "Fake News Article" Referencing Britney Spears
Liberal Economists Rue a "New Decade of Greed"
Artificial Insouciance: Maureen Dowd's Word Processor Revolts Against Her Numbing Imbecility
Intelligence Officials Eye Blogs for Tips
They Done Found Us Out, Cletus: Intrepid Internet Detective Figures Out Our Master Plan
Shock: Josh Marshall Almost Mentions Sarin Discovery in Iraq
Leather-Clad Biker Freaks Terrorize Australian Town
When Clinton Was President, Torture Was Cool
What Wonkette Means When She Explains What Tina Brown Means
Wonkette's Stand-Up Act
Wankette HQ Gay-Rumors Du Jour
Here's What's Bugging Me: Goose and Slider
My Own Micah Wright Style Confession of Dishonesty
Outraged "Conservatives" React to the FMA
An On-Line Impression of Dennis Miller Having Sex with a Kodiak Bear
The Story the Rightwing Media Refuses to Report!
Our Lunch with David "Glengarry Glen Ross" Mamet
The House of Love: Paul Krugman
A Michael Moore Mystery (TM)
The Dowd-O-Matic!
Liberal Consistency and Other Myths
Kepler's Laws of Liberal Media Bias
John Kerry-- The Splunge! Candidate
"Divisive" Politics & "Attacks on Patriotism" (very long)
The Donkey ("The Raven" parody)
News/Chat