The Preakness

"Preakness" is from an old French word, "prikenesse," meaning "The one after the Derby no one cares about."

Posted by: Ace at 06:47 PM

Comments

(Jump to bottom of comments)

1 Look at those mudder-fuckers go!

Posted by: Dr Spank at May 21, 2016 06:49 PM (TJCSB)

2 You can't bet after the race starts

Posted by: Skip at May 21, 2016 06:49 PM (3wHFl)

3
I'd rather watch Valerie Bertinelli on the Food channel.

Posted by: Mister Magoo at May 21, 2016 06:49 PM (XzuSc)

4 are you sure it doesn't mean "the thing golf watchers watch to convince themselves they are interesting persons"?

Posted by: weft cut-loop at May 21, 2016 06:50 PM (p2X2f)

5 Since this race will probably be over before I post this, is there another thread coming?

Posted by: Blano at May 21, 2016 06:51 PM (sdPF/)

6 Another thread?? But we weren't through making fun of ace's dorky bike accessories in the old one.

Posted by: OregonMuse at May 21, 2016 06:51 PM (FiRoZ)

7 Any other horseys dead?

Posted by: Monsieur Moo Moo at May 21, 2016 06:51 PM (0LHZx)

8 Ace should bump the "I might be gay" thread.

Posted by: Dr Spank at May 21, 2016 06:52 PM (TJCSB)

9 Exaggerator was brutal...

Posted by: Marge from Fargo at May 21, 2016 06:52 PM (kKWNP)

10 Try beating it some more.

Posted by: boulder terlit hobo at May 21, 2016 06:52 PM (6FqZa)

11 6 Another thread?? But we weren't through making fun of ace's dorky bike accessories in the old one.
Posted by: OregonMuse at May 21, 2016 06:51 PM (FiRoZ)

Odd coincidence...

Posted by: AD at May 21, 2016 06:53 PM (VtV1E)

12 I guess it's probably too late to find a video stream.

Posted by: rickl at May 21, 2016 06:53 PM (sdi6R)

13 OK race over....Run Silent Run Deep is on the TCM channel

Posted by: Nevergiveup at May 21, 2016 06:53 PM (Ozsfq)

14
Speaking of bikes, last week I was toying with getting one of those mini exercise bikes. It's for old people, tho.

Posted by: Mister Magoo at May 21, 2016 06:54 PM (XzuSc)

15 Hope he makes it back to the barn after the festivities.

Posted by: Marge from Fargo at May 21, 2016 06:54 PM (kKWNP)

16 John Kerry beats Sarah Jessica Parker by a nose.

Posted by: Joe Hallenbeck at May 21, 2016 06:55 PM (MNgU2)

17 "Preakness" is Latin for "mind the bullets!"

My family in MD were stunned by how nice Churchill Downs is compared to Pimlico, which I gather is a shithole in a verrry bad neighborhood.

Posted by: Y-not (@moxiemom) at May 21, 2016 06:55 PM (t5zYU)

18
I'm glad none of them slipped and fell and broke their legs in that mud.

Posted by: iforgot at May 21, 2016 06:55 PM (5o5ek)

19 I saw the father of Ted Cruz in the background of both dead horses.

Posted by: Valiant at May 21, 2016 06:55 PM (3MiF8)

20 If a jockey jumped off his horse only to bisect the course and remount the speeding animal, would he become the game's MVP?

Posted by: derit at May 21, 2016 06:55 PM (OC+TJ)

21
My family in MD were stunned by how nice Churchill Downs is compared to Pimlico, which I gather is a shithole in a verrry bad neighborhood.
Posted by: Y-not (@moxiemom) at May 21, 2016 06:55 PM (t5zYU)
----------------------

I did get a glimpse of a bunch of shitty cars or something there right off the track.

Posted by: iforgot at May 21, 2016 06:55 PM (5o5ek)

22 Hillary Clinton came in dead last, grazing on the infield grass dosen`t get it done!

Posted by: Marge from Fargo at May 21, 2016 06:56 PM (kKWNP)

23 BlackHorsesMatter

Posted by: redenzo at May 21, 2016 06:56 PM (WCnJW)

24 I will do the Bike on PRT tomorrow.

Posted by: Nevergiveup at May 21, 2016 06:56 PM (Ozsfq)

25 a shithole in a verrry bad neighborhood.

Posted by: Y-not (@moxiemom) at May 21, 2016 06:55 PM (t5zYU)

Pretty much describes Maryland except for VIA's and WeirdDave's places!

Posted by: Hrothgar at May 21, 2016 06:56 PM (wYnyS)

26 >>I've always kind of wanted them, but I thought they were dorky when I was younger.

Sometimes wisdom is realized at an early age and you shouldn't second yourself. This is one of those times.

Posted by: JackStraw at May 21, 2016 06:57 PM (/tuJf)

27
John Kerry beats Sarah Jessica Parker by a nose.
Posted by: Joe Hallenbeck at May 21, 2016 06:55 PM (MNgU2)
-------------------

Breaking: both disqualified for drugs.

Posted by: iforgot at May 21, 2016 06:57 PM (5o5ek)

28 Baby you can push my poop
Yes I'm gonna be a star
Baby you can push my poop
And maybe I love you!

Posted by: Dung Beetles fan at May 21, 2016 06:57 PM (9lCXX)

29 Its no Exaggerator had the Awesome Speed needed, Collected that Preakness trophy and get to spray the Cherry Wine on the podium. Guess Nyquist's Abiding Star faided, but still will stand in the Fellowship of c.hampions

Posted by: Skip at May 21, 2016 06:57 PM (3wHFl)

30 I think the fastest horse will win the race!

Posted by: chemjeff - Libertarian at May 21, 2016 06:58 PM (+4mdw)

31
Exaggerator was brutal...
Posted by: Marge from Fargo at May 21, 2016 06:52 PM (kKWNP)
----------------------

Man, did you see the way Nyquist switched lanes in the last seconds to try to break? Nice try, but Exaggerator had it.

Posted by: iforgot at May 21, 2016 06:59 PM (5o5ek)

32 Dumbest thing in the universe....referring to a horse as an "athlete".

Posted by: Monsieur Moo Moo at May 21, 2016 06:59 PM (0LHZx)

33 Horses are bad luck. Remember that Dustin Hoffman show they had to cancel bc the horses kept dying? And then there was David Milch who blew over a 100 million bucks on racing and horse races.

Posted by: Bruce With a Wang! at May 21, 2016 06:59 PM (iQIUe)

34 30 I think the fastest horse will win the race!

Posted by: chemjeff - Libertarian at May 21, 2016 06:58 PM (+4mdw)

Chris Collingsworth, is that you?

Posted by: OregonMuse at May 21, 2016 06:59 PM (FiRoZ)

35 >>>22 Hillary Clinton came in dead last, grazing on the infield grass dosen`t get it done!
Posted by: Marge from Fargo at May 21, 2016 06:56 PM (kKWNP)

Oh, you silly! That was my carpet she was munching on!

Posted by: Huma-Humina Abedin at May 21, 2016 06:59 PM (9lCXX)

36 Vice President Joe Biden advocated for diversity in the armed forces Saturday, telling West Point graduates in a commencement address that more women and openly gay soldiers will strengthen the countrys armed forces.

Having men and women together in the battlefield is an incredible asset, particularly when theyre asked to lead teams in parts of the world with fundamentally different expectations and norms, Biden said, according to the Associated Press.

Speaking of HORSESHIT

Posted by: Nevergiveup at May 21, 2016 07:00 PM (Ozsfq)

37 I think the fastest horse will win the race!

Posted by: chemjeff - Libertarian at May 21, 2016 06:58 PM (+4mdw)

Don't forget the diversity reallocation of the finish line location!

Posted by: Hrothgar at May 21, 2016 07:00 PM (wYnyS)

38
And bc I think this is newsworthy, Twitter is trying to impose the UK superinjunction laws on Americans.

Posted by: Bruce With a Wang! at May 21, 2016 07:00 PM (iQIUe)

39 Exaggerator was 10 Preakness winner sired by Preakness winners, nepotism

Posted by: Skip at May 21, 2016 07:00 PM (3wHFl)

40 My family in MD were stunned by how nice Churchill Downs is compared to Pimlico, which I gather is a shithole in a verrry bad neighborhood.
Posted by: Y-not (@moxiemom) at May 21, 2016 06:55 PM (t5zYU)

_____

There's like 4 blocks of Baltimore that aren't verrrry bad.

Posted by: Monsieur Moo Moo at May 21, 2016 07:01 PM (0LHZx)

41 Man, did you see the way Nyquist switched lanes in the last seconds to try to break? Nice try, but Exaggerator had it.
Posted by: iforgot at May 21, 2016 06:59 PM (5o5ek)
...........
It was a heck of a move but Exaggerator was a total force not to be denied...great race!

Posted by: Marge from Fargo at May 21, 2016 07:02 PM (kKWNP)

42 I'm at the airport and just experienced my first-ever intimate TSA pat down. You 'rons will appreciate that my agent was a very cute female (it was wasted on me). How much nicer if we could sect our molester from a lineup of hot yet capable patters-down.

They confiscated the wee little faux Swiss Army knife on my keychain, and my perfume triggered something in the sniffer bot.

Posted by: All Hail Eris at May 21, 2016 07:02 PM (S7sC7)

43 Welcome to the Preakness Thread, which has already lasted 3x times longer than the actual race!

Posted by: That Effin' Guy at May 21, 2016 07:02 PM (9lCXX)

44 8 years of this shit! It only took 8 years for progs to eff up this country.

Posted by: Bruce With a Wang! at May 21, 2016 07:03 PM (iQIUe)

45 Brush with the semi famous today.

At car show/swap meet today, Ted Vernon, the "star" of the show South Beach Classics was there buying and selling cars. When we first noticed him he was driving through the parking lot in a Cobra. Very nice car by the way.

A little black boy (9 years old maybe) noticed him and dragged/begged gangsta dad to ask to take picture with Ted.

He was very nice to the boy and posed with him for some pictures.

Good for him.

Posted by: weirdflunkyonatablet at May 21, 2016 07:03 PM (5OSXq)

46 UK has a lot of goofy laws such as no 1st amendment rights, ownership ect. The other website I go gets lots of international traffic mainly other English speaking countries but everywhere else too. They often try to push their rules on the US based sites.

Posted by: Skip at May 21, 2016 07:03 PM (3wHFl)

47 At least Nyquist made the podium

Posted by: Skip at May 21, 2016 07:05 PM (3wHFl)

48
Batman Begins in on tv. This is a very good movie, far better than either of its mediocre prequels.

Did we ever know why Raza Ghoul turned bad?

Ra za' goul?

Posted by: Mister Magoo at May 21, 2016 07:06 PM (XzuSc)

49 Two brothers were fighting over who would inherit the crown from their father the King. Both had claimed that they had the fastest horse. The King thought and then told them that there would be a race to determine who would inherit the Crown. The son who lost the race would be King.

Both sons argued with their father that it would not be possible to run a race like that.

What was the King thinking?

Posted by: Joe Hallenbeck at May 21, 2016 07:07 PM (MNgU2)

50 Batman Begins in on tv. This is a very good movie, far better than either of its mediocre prequels.

There is no 'prequel' to BB.

Did we ever know why Raza Ghoul turned bad?

Ra za' goul?
Posted by: Mister Magoo

Ra's al Ghul = in the Nolan trilogy the 3rd movie has a sequence to explain it.

Posted by: weft cut-loop at May 21, 2016 07:09 PM (p2X2f)

51 A horse is a horse, of course, of course.

Posted by: Mr. Ed at May 21, 2016 07:10 PM (8N2JI)

52
It was a heck of a move but Exaggerator was a total force not to be denied...great race!

Posted by: Marge from Fargo at May 21, 2016 07:02 PM (kKWNP)
------------------------
Sigh. Poor horsey. #3 of all things.

Posted by: iforgot at May 21, 2016 07:10 PM (5o5ek)

53 Nyquist didn't win?

Crap!

Posted by: The Belmont Stakes at May 21, 2016 07:11 PM (NeFrd)

54
In the Bane movie? That one sucked. I remember the boring story by the girl about her and Bane.

Posted by: Mister Magoo at May 21, 2016 07:11 PM (XzuSc)

55 What was the King thinking?
Posted by: Joe Hallenbeck at May 21, 2016 07:07 PM (MNgU2)

It's good to be King

Posted by: Nevergiveup at May 21, 2016 07:12 PM (Ozsfq)

56
Was it necessary for Liam Neeson to wear the worst fake fu manchu in cinematic history?

Posted by: Mister Magoo at May 21, 2016 07:13 PM (XzuSc)

57 >>>What was the King thinking?
Posted by: Joe Hallenbeck at May 21, 2016 07:07 PM (MNgU2)

The King wanted the son who believed he had a winner, even if it wasn't?

Posted by: That Effin' Guy at May 21, 2016 07:14 PM (9lCXX)

58 Who would name a horse after a multi-symptom cold medicine? Nyquil!? Really??

Posted by: Seamus Muldoon at May 21, 2016 07:14 PM (NeFrd)

59
It only took 8 years for progs to eff up this country.
Posted by: Bruce With a Wang!

Oh, they've been at it a lot longer than that.

Posted by: Bertram Cabot Jr. at May 21, 2016 07:15 PM (k4M/B)

60 Sigh. Poor horsey. #3 of all things.
Posted by: iforgot at May 21, 2016 07:10 PM (5o5ek
..............
I feel comfortable, at least more comfortable then Ace striding the seat pole, that Nyquist will do well in the Belmont Stakes.

Posted by: Marge from Fargo at May 21, 2016 07:15 PM (kKWNP)

61 What was the Queen thinking?

Balls! If I had them, I'd be King.

Posted by: Duncanthrax (formerly the Bellicose) at May 21, 2016 07:17 PM (8N2JI)

62 42 I'm at the airport and just experienced my first-ever intimate TSA pat down. You 'rons will appreciate that my agent was a very cute female (it was wasted on me). How much nicer if we could sect our molester from a lineup of hot yet capable patters-down.
Posted by: All Hail Eris at May 21, 2016 07:02 PM (S7sC7)

Yes, I could possibly tolerate a TSA patdown from a cute female, provided that it included a happy ending.

Posted by: rickl at May 21, 2016 07:18 PM (sdi6R)

63 49
What was the King thinking?
Posted by: Joe Hallenbeck at May 21, 2016 07:07 PM (MNgU2)

The chess thread is over there. >>>

Posted by: rickl at May 21, 2016 07:20 PM (sdi6R)

64 What was the King thinking?
Posted by: Joe Hallenbeck at May 21, 2016 07:07 PM (MNgU2)

1. The King reasoned that the son that could control a fast horse and make it lose the race would be able to control the Kingdom!
2. The King figured that as long as both sons were trying to lose the race, he had a lot of time where they wouldn't be plotting against is and he could sleep well at night!

Posted by: Hrothgar at May 21, 2016 07:21 PM (wYnyS)

65 "The one after the Derby no one cares about."

But that only applies to silly retards who know nothing about thoroughbred racing.

Posted by: Monty James at May 21, 2016 07:21 PM (7EqBj)

66 Great memory- Galloping horses at Golden Gate Fields in the fog. You could hear the other horses on the track but couldn't see them till you next to them. Loved every minute of it.

Posted by: Ben Had at May 21, 2016 07:21 PM (ksg8X)

67 When the horses died, did either jockey start punching it while yelling, "Hey, guys, what am I doing???"

Posted by: Preakniss Everdeen at May 21, 2016 07:22 PM (AjTgU)

68 I think Joe Hallenbeck has discovered how to keep a moron in suspense.

Posted by: bluebell at May 21, 2016 07:23 PM (2WwbN)

69
The other day I mentioned EDC (every day carry). This is a thing. People post vids on youtube on what they carry in their pockets every day. Usually preppers or survivalists, but many others, too.

We all have our own EDC's. Because we're men.
Women, though, I believe, are the originators of EDC with their 'essentials' in their pocketbooks. Like tissues and lipstick, for examples.

What is your EDC?

A watch? A gun? A flashlight? $$? Mints? A knife? A pen? A phone? Stuff you never leave the house without.

Posted by: Mister Magoo at May 21, 2016 07:23 PM (XzuSc)

70 Both horses in their dying breaths said, "Wilburrrrr"

Posted by: eman at May 21, 2016 07:26 PM (MQEz6)

71 Both horses in their dying breaths said, "Wilburrrrr"

Posted by: eman at May 21, 2016 07:26 PM (MQEz6)

They have gone where the good horsies go, the Purina plant.

Posted by: Alberta Oil Peon at May 21, 2016 07:27 PM (2w1g0)

72 Posted by: bluebell at May 21, 2016 07:23 PM (2WwbN)

Yeah this moron screwed it up. I should have said whichever son had the slowest horse would be King.

Each son had to ride the others horse in the race.

I lose.

Posted by: Joe Hallenbeck at May 21, 2016 07:28 PM (MNgU2)

73 I could not get myself into carrying a knife when I ride because the riding pants often have no pocket + forgetfulness but I really wanted to develop the habit for safety. So now I have a knife on a string and am pretty good at slipping it over my head when I go outside at home. It doesn't come to work with me though.

Posted by: PaleRider at May 21, 2016 07:29 PM (wYRTH)

74 What was the King thinking?
Posted by: Joe Hallenbeck

The 'race' was a tour of the kingdom. Across hill and dale, but, more importantly, through city, village, and town. Through the kingdom's land in detail.

A fast horse and the most impatient lord would never see much of the peasants, the minor lords, the workmen, or the land.

The loser, the slower would have found more interest in the details of the course than the prize, and hence a kingly respect.

Posted by: weft cut-loop at May 21, 2016 07:30 PM (p2X2f)

75 I lose.
Posted by: Joe Hallenbeck at May 21, 2016 07:28 PM (MNgU2)
---------------

No, no, you win! Because that's the most moron way to tell a joke ever!

Posted by: bluebell at May 21, 2016 07:30 PM (2WwbN)

76
I don't carry a knife -- just my multi-tool's knife I wear on my belt.

Posted by: Mister Magoo at May 21, 2016 07:31 PM (XzuSc)

77 Posted by: bluebell at May 21, 2016 07:30 PM (2WwbN)

Not a joke. A brain teaser .

Posted by: Joe Hallenbeck at May 21, 2016 07:32 PM (MNgU2)

78 Now that Nyquist lost, will his jockey be deported?

Posted by: Preakniss Everdeen at May 21, 2016 07:32 PM (AjTgU)

79
But I always carry a flashlight, too.

Posted by: Mister Magoo at May 21, 2016 07:33 PM (XzuSc)

80 "The one after the Derby no one cares about."

Unless the Derby winner wins it, then people actually care about it as well that red-headed stepchild known as the Belmont that is sort of a secret society thing.

Posted by: Meremortal, wine needed at May 21, 2016 07:34 PM (3myMJ)

81 56
Was it necessary for Liam Neeson to wear the worst fake fu manchu in cinematic history?

Posted by: Mister Magoo

I know, it make me raff.

Posted by: Charlie Chan at May 21, 2016 07:37 PM (LAe3v)

82 What was the King thinking?

Posted by: Joe Hallenbeck at May 21, 2016 07:07 PM (MNgU2)

I'm going to turn my life around. Stop doing drugs, lose weight and get my career back on track but first I've got to hit the crapper

Posted by: TheQuietMan at May 21, 2016 07:38 PM (45oDG)

83 You need panniers for your horse, you could carry knives, flashlights, extra horseshoes if you get a flat.

Posted by: Skip at May 21, 2016 07:38 PM (3wHFl)

84 Someday there will be horse races on the Moon.

Posted by: eman at May 21, 2016 07:39 PM (MQEz6)

85 83 You need panniers for your horse, you could carry knives, flashlights, extra horseshoes if you get a flat.

Posted by: Skip

It's what all the Europeans do.

Posted by: pep at May 21, 2016 07:39 PM (LAe3v)

86 84
Someday there will be horse races on the Moon.

Posted by: eman at May 21, 2016 07:39 PM (MQEz6)
And the really fast ones will float off into space

Posted by: chemjeff - Libertarian at May 21, 2016 07:40 PM (+4mdw)

87 I was thinkin, "hoo boy, these drugs are great. I don't have any sons, thankyavurrahmuch."

Posted by: Elvis Presley at May 21, 2016 07:41 PM (AjTgU)

88 The greatest bicycle movie of all time(and perhaps the only bicycling movie) is-

"Breaking Away"

hilarious and heartfelt movie from the 70's

100% Guaranteed Moron Friendly

Rent it tonight from amazon video.

It's great.

Literally, the kind of movie you'll smile and laugh all through.

Posted by: naturalfake at May 21, 2016 07:41 PM (0cMkb)

89 Oops.

Wrong thread.

Posted by: naturalfake at May 21, 2016 07:42 PM (0cMkb)

90 Literally, the kind of movie you'll smile and laugh all through.
Posted by: naturalfake

I wonder what the hot girl looks like now?

Posted by: pep at May 21, 2016 07:42 PM (LAe3v)

91 So we are driving home in B'More tonight, literally 30 seconds after the horses crossed the finish line.

Nobody, I mean nobody on the roads.

It was nice.

Posted by: Village Idiot's Apprentice at May 21, 2016 07:44 PM (ptqRm)

92 Posted by: naturalfake at May 21, 2016 07:41 PM (0cMkb)

Very good movie. Moo Moo may root against the cutters though.

Posted by: Joe Hallenbeck at May 21, 2016 07:46 PM (MNgU2)

93 My guess is that it's a sword of Damocles tale. The king regards the kingship as a burden. If one of the sons is smart enough to see it, he will win the race to lose the kingship.

Posted by: Preakniss Everdeen at May 21, 2016 07:46 PM (AjTgU)

94 Many years came back from Myrtle Beach and drove through Baltimore during the race. It has been like that for years.

Posted by: Skip at May 21, 2016 07:47 PM (3wHFl)

95
I feel comfortable, at least more comfortable then Ace striding the seat pole, that Nyquist will do well in the Belmont Stakes.
Posted by: Marge from Fargo at May 21, 2016 07:15 PM (kKWNP)
--------------------------

Yeah, what the hell, he won the DERBY and showed in the Preakness. Not bad.

Posted by: iforgot at May 21, 2016 07:49 PM (5o5ek)

96 So, then the Chinese General says to me, "Ah, yes, Mistah Biden, we Chinese will run in fear from you Army of gays and transgenders....", and I said, "Just don't bend over, Charlie Chan, you'll be fine!"

Posted by: Joey "Lead Paint Chip" Biden at May 21, 2016 07:51 PM (9lCXX)

97
*Insert obligatory John Kerry joke here*

Posted by: IllTemperedCur at May 21, 2016 07:51 PM (LuZz8)

98
Yeah this moron screwed it up. I should have said whichever son had the slowest horse would be King.

--------------------------

OH ffs. No wonder I couldn't find the answer on the internet.

Posted by: iforgot at May 21, 2016 07:51 PM (5o5ek)

99
*Insert obligatory Sarah Jessica Parker joke here*

Posted by: IllTemperedCur at May 21, 2016 07:53 PM (LuZz8)

100

At work I carry a Spyderco Endura, a Stonebridge tactical pen with microlight, and Readyman pick and E & E cards in my wallet.

The keychain which stays in the office has a Leatherman Squirt, Streamlight Nano, Nite-Ize Doohickey and handcuff key on a Dimple paracord biner key fob.

Posted by: In Vino Veritits at May 21, 2016 07:53 PM (qul7b)

101 Nyquist will be getting lots of fillys , even if he didn't win.

Posted by: Skip at May 21, 2016 07:54 PM (3wHFl)

102 Posted by: iforgot at May 21, 2016 07:51 PM (5o5ek)

It really doesn't make that big of a difference.

Posted by: Joe Hallenbeck at May 21, 2016 07:55 PM (MNgU2)

103 There once was a derby named Preakness
A coincidence amazing with freakiness
Turned the race into sadness and bleakness
When the audience cried
As the two horses died
After their display of prowess and meekness.

Posted by: Preakniss Everdeen at May 21, 2016 07:56 PM (AjTgU)

104 There once was a derby named Preakness
A coincidence amazing with freakiness
Turned the race into sadness and bleakness
When the audience cried
As the two horses died
After their display of prowess and meekness.

Posted by: Preakniss Everdeen at May 21, 2016 07:56 PM (AjTgU)

105 There once was a derby named Preakness
A coincidence amazing with freakiness
Turned the race into sadness and bleakness
When the audience cried
As the two horses died
After their display of prowess and meekness.

Posted by: Preakniss Everdeen at May 21, 2016 07:56 PM (AjTgU)

106
o, then the Chinese General says to me, "Ah, yes, Mistah Biden, we Chinese will run in fear from you Army of gays and transgenders....", and I said, "Just don't bend over, Charlie Chan, you'll be fine!"
Posted by: Joey "Lead Paint Chip" Biden at May 21, 2016 07:51 PM (9lCXX)
------------------------

"Y'know, you can't cause a traffic accident unless you have a Chinese accent!"

Posted by: iforgot at May 21, 2016 07:58 PM (5o5ek)

107

How much for that big black one, the stallion?

Asking for a friend.

Posted by: POTUS at May 21, 2016 07:58 PM (qul7b)

108
At work I carry a Spyderco Endura, a Stonebridge tactical pen with microlight, and Readyman pick and E & E cards in my wallet.

The keychain which stays in the office has a Leatherman Squirt, Streamlight Nano, Nite-Ize Doohickey and handcuff key on a Dimple paracord biner key fob.

All this sounds most awesome.

How about a mini cord -- you know, for strangling people?

Posted by: Mister Magoo at May 21, 2016 07:58 PM (XzuSc)

109 You could google -King two sons fastest horse- and get twenty versions of that riddle .

Posted by: Joe Hallenbeck at May 21, 2016 07:58 PM (MNgU2)

110 Did Ace name his bike? She we have a Name Ace's New Bike contest?

Swifty!
Pedals!
Chick Magnet!

Posted by: Bruce With a Wang! at May 21, 2016 07:59 PM (iQIUe)

111
It really doesn't make that big of a difference.
Posted by: Joe Hallenbeck at May 21, 2016 07:55 PM (MNgU2)
----------------------

It makes a yuuuuge difference. Moron.

Posted by: iforgot at May 21, 2016 07:59 PM (5o5ek)

112
Did Ace name his bike? She we have a Name Ace's New Bike contest?

Swifty!
Pedals!
Chick Magnet!

Posted by: Bruce With a Wang! at May 21, 2016 07:59 PM (iQIUe)

Ooooo, great idear. Someone call a cob-logger!

Posted by: IllTemperedCur at May 21, 2016 08:00 PM (LuZz8)

113 //107

How much for that big black one, the stallion?

Asking for a friend.
Posted by: POTUS at////

I'm the friend.

Posted by: Mooch at May 21, 2016 08:01 PM (LAe3v)

114
You could google -King two sons fastest horse- and get twenty versions of that riddle .

Posted by: Joe Hallenbeck at May 21, 2016 07:58 PM (MNgU2)
----------------------

Yeah, okay, I lost the google contest. But really. Why did the chicken not stay on the side of the road?

See what I mean?

Posted by: iforgot at May 21, 2016 08:01 PM (5o5ek)

115 Pannier packing peddle pusher

Posted by: Skip at May 21, 2016 08:01 PM (3wHFl)

116 Horses are magnificent animals.

Posted by: Hairyback Guy at May 21, 2016 08:01 PM (ej1L0)

117 So my suggestion is 4P

Posted by: Skip at May 21, 2016 08:02 PM (3wHFl)

118 Double post up there.

Lower yourself halfway into the barrel, swish your feet around and then you can come back out.

Posted by: Meremortal, wine. oh yeah at May 21, 2016 08:02 PM (3myMJ)

119 Bikey Mcbikerface

Posted by: pep at May 21, 2016 08:02 PM (LAe3v)

120 110 Did Ace name his bike? She we have a Name Ace's New Bike contest?
Posted by: Bruce With a Wang! at May 21, 2016 07:59 PM (iQIUe)

I call dibs on Bikey McBikeface.

Posted by: rickl at May 21, 2016 08:03 PM (sdi6R)

121 Hah, suck it Rickl!

Posted by: pep at May 21, 2016 08:03 PM (LAe3v)

122 Horses are magnificent animals.

Yep, and if they were as smart as a post, they'd really be something.

I love 'em though.

Posted by: Meremortal, wine. oh yeah at May 21, 2016 08:04 PM (3myMJ)

123 My reflexes are a little slow, but at least I spelled it correctly.

Posted by: rickl at May 21, 2016 08:04 PM (sdi6R)

124
Nyquist will be getting lots of fillys , even if he didn't win.

Posted by: Skip at May 21, 2016 07:54 PM (3wHFl)
------------------

It'll be Muslim horse-heaven -- except he won't have to blow himself up.

Posted by: iforgot at May 21, 2016 08:04 PM (5o5ek)

125 Bikey Mcbikerface

Posted by: pep at May 21, 2016 08:02 PM (LAe3v)

Perfect!

Posted by: Hrothgar at May 21, 2016 08:04 PM (wYnyS)

126 How about naming the bike "the Dung Beetle" or "S.S. Minnow"?

Posted by: That Effin' Guy at May 21, 2016 08:08 PM (9lCXX)

127 Except I was following the wrong comment on the wrong thread.

Posted by: Skip at May 21, 2016 08:09 PM (3wHFl)

128 The tail, still flickering, became a tail of hair that flickered between huge and glossy buttocks. Suddenly I started back, rubbing my eyes. What stood before me was the greatest stallion I have ever seen, silvery white but with mane and tail of gold. It was smooth and shining, rippled with swells of flesh and muscle, whinneying and stamping with its hoofs. At each stamp the land shook and the trees dindled. And then it won the Preakness.

Posted by: C. S. Lewis at May 21, 2016 08:11 PM (AjTgU)

129 Me: Hey, how about naming the bike "Passover"?

Acey McAcerface: Too Jewish......

Posted by: That Effin' Guy at May 21, 2016 08:11 PM (9lCXX)

130 Bike name suggestions on the bike thread

Posted by: Skip at May 21, 2016 08:12 PM (3wHFl)

131 The clueless rich ladies with the hats...why the hats at horse races?

Posted by: Citation X Driver at May 21, 2016 08:12 PM (sZfr8)

132
Check out this neat micro crossbow on ebay.

http://tinyurl.com/hgjb6ak

Posted by: Mister Magoo at May 21, 2016 08:13 PM (XzuSc)

133
Bikey Mcbikerface

Posted by: pep at May 21, 2016 08:02 PM (LAe3v)

Perfect!
Posted by: Hrothgar at May 21, 2016 08:04 PM (wYnyS)
----------------

Take out the "r" and capitalize the "B" in "McBikeface."

Or name the bike The Editor -- nothing gets past it.

Posted by: iforgot at May 21, 2016 08:13 PM (5o5ek)

134
The clueless rich ladies with the hats...why the hats at horse races?
Posted by: Citation X Driver at May 21, 2016 08:12 PM (sZfr

------------------

There are so many things about horse races. Why the horse-escort up to the gate? I don't get that. Why can't the horse go up to the gate by itself?

Posted by: iforgot at May 21, 2016 08:15 PM (5o5ek)

135 134
The clueless rich ladies with the hats...why the hats at horse races?
Posted by: Citation X Driver

Aping British royalty at Ascot.

Posted by: pep at May 21, 2016 08:16 PM (LAe3v)

136 134
The clueless rich ladies with the hats...why the hats at horse races?
Posted by: Citation X Driver at May 21, 2016 08:12 PM (sZfr
------------------

There are so many things about horse races. Why the horse-escort up to the gate? I don't get that. Why can't the horse go up to the gate by itself?
Posted by: iforgot at May 21, 2016 08:15 PM (5o5ek)

I've heard it's to keep the horse calm; distracted.

Posted by: Citation X Driver at May 21, 2016 08:16 PM (sZfr8)

137 .why the hats at horse races?

Posted by: Citation X Driver at May 21, 2016 08:12 PM

To keep the horse flys away

Posted by: Skip at May 21, 2016 08:16 PM (3wHFl)

138
They also make a tiny cannon that I think actually works.

Posted by: Mister Magoo at May 21, 2016 08:17 PM (XzuSc)

139 Posted by: iforgot at May 21, 2016 08:13 PM (5o5ek)

Nice catch, I had this nagging thought that there was something just not quite right there, but then I said get serious this is an AoS weekend thread!

Posted by: Hrothgar at May 21, 2016 08:17 PM (wYnyS)

140 Anybody know where that big girls' ride for charity parked for lunch today?

Posted by: C. Lost Johnson at May 21, 2016 08:18 PM (3myMJ)

141 3
I'd rather watch Valerie Bertinelli on the Food channel.

Posted by: Mister Magoo at May 21, 2016 06:49 PM (XzuSc)

Yeah, well I'd rather watch Dom DeLuise and Nell Carter going at it on the porn channel. Though I have to admit that I do have some curiosity about what that would actually look like.

Posted by: Slappy at May 21, 2016 08:20 PM (rtfSu)

142 Anybody else here ever bet the horses at TVG.com?

I admit I haven't in quite a while. Seems like I'm really good at picking the wrong horses.

Posted by: qdpsteve at May 21, 2016 08:21 PM (ntObR)

143 Speaking of horses, why is it an oft-used insult to call someone a "horse's ass"? Aren't there even worse animals asses to reference when you want to insult someone? (Make sure you read this post in Jerry Seinfeld's voice.)

Posted by: Slappy at May 21, 2016 08:23 PM (rtfSu)

144 Yeah, well I'd rather watch Dom DeLuise and Nell Carter going at it on the porn channel.

Ooo! Ooo!! Covered in caramel!!!

Posted by: qdpsteve at May 21, 2016 08:23 PM (ntObR)

145 Man this is a pretty good little Pino from Bogle.

Posted by: Meremortal, vino! at May 21, 2016 08:23 PM (3myMJ)

146

ONE TIME AT HORSE CAMP WE WERE RECREATING THE CHARGE OF THE LIGHT BRIGADE WHEN IDI AMIN LOST HIS SELF CONTROL AND USED A FLAMETHROWER TO COOK A FELLOW CAMPER AND THEN ATE HIS BRAIN AND WIENER. WE PLACED BETS ON HIM MAKING EARRINGS OUT OF THE HORSE'S NADS BUT ALL LOST WHEN HE JUST STUFFED THEM UP HIS POOTER.

Posted by: MIRROR UNIVERSE MASSIVE HORSEHOCKEY at May 21, 2016 08:24 PM (qul7b)

147
I had this nagging thought that there was something just not quite right there, but then I said get serious this is an AoS weekend thread!

Posted by: Hrothgar at May 21, 2016 08:17 PM (wYnyS)
-------------------

To an Editor, it's all camera-ready copy.

It's actually a bit hellish.

Posted by: iforgot at May 21, 2016 08:24 PM (5o5ek)

148 My family in MD were stunned by how nice Churchill
Downs is compared to Pimlico, which I gather is a shithole in a verrry
bad neighborhood.

Posted by: Y-not

I always thought Churchill Downs was kind of dumpy, but I guess they have cleaned it up and made it nicer in recent years.

Go to Keeneland in April and October (the only months it is open). Very beautiful racetrack in Lexington, the heart of Blue Grass country. They walk the horses around in the courtyard before every race, and you can see the horses close up, and those thoroughbreds are beautiful animals. You'll see the top 3 year olds in April at Keeneland before the Derby.

They do love their horses down there.

Posted by: Bossy Conservative...pondering the future at May 21, 2016 08:24 PM (+1T7c)

149 Pushing a peddle bike with a hobo spiked on the grill like the road warrior is going to play hell on the ewok's conditioning.

My vote is for Mad Maxxine.

Posted by: Fritz at May 21, 2016 08:24 PM (f40FU)

150 Literally, the kind of movie you'll smile and laugh all through.
Posted by: naturalfake at May 21, 2016 07:41 PM (0cMkb)

The Dad was hilarious....."How come he is never tired and miserable? When I was young I was tired and miserable".

Great movie.

Posted by: Hairyback Guy at May 21, 2016 08:26 PM (ej1L0)

151 "Speaking of horses, why is it an oft-used insult to call someone a "horse's ass"?"

That comes from when a horse was your living-pet-automobile-survival-prepper. Think of the relationship some have with their cars, love-hate shall we say.

With horses, it's a order of magnitude more intense.

Posted by: Meremortal, vino! at May 21, 2016 08:27 PM (3myMJ)

152
Refund?

Refund?!?!

REFUND!

Posted by: Mister Magoo at May 21, 2016 08:28 PM (XzuSc)

153 144 Yeah, well I'd rather watch Dom DeLuise and Nell Carter going at it on the porn channel.

Ooo! Ooo!! Covered in caramel!!!

Posted by: qdpsteve at May 21, 2016 08:23 PM (ntObR)

Can you imagine the clean up? They would be calling in the EPA for help. Plus, the friction caused by all that skin slapping together would probably start a fire.

Posted by: Slappy at May 21, 2016 08:28 PM (rtfSu)

154 >>>In the Bane movie? That one sucked. I remember the boring story by the girl about her and Bane.

No it was awesome because of the Bane voice. He could have read the phone book and it would still have been a great movie.

Posted by: Preakniss Everdeen at May 21, 2016 08:29 PM (AjTgU)

155
That comes from when a horse was your living-pet-automobile-survival-prepper. Think of the relationship some have with their cars, love-hate shall we say.

With horses, it's a order of magnitude more intense.
Posted by: Meremortal, vino! at May 21, 2016 08:27 PM (3myMJ)
--------------------

Exactly. This is why nowadays we invite someone to suck on a tailpipe.

Posted by: iforgot at May 21, 2016 08:29 PM (5o5ek)

156 Posted by: Slappy at May 21, 2016 08:20 PM (rtfSu)

Well first, take two balls of play-doh...

Posted by: Dom DeLuise and Nell Carter at May 21, 2016 08:30 PM (+4mdw)

157 Refund?
Refund?!?!
REFUND!
Posted by: Mister Magoo at May 21, 2016 08:28 PM (XzuSc)

Hahahah...Yup. When he wakes up in bed with the Doc he is still yelling "refund!?".....

Too funny!

Posted by: Hairyback Guy at May 21, 2016 08:30 PM (ej1L0)

158 Cutest actress in recent TV commercials:

Ice Breaker's gum unicorn fan and dancing girl for Sprint Mobile: Erika Soto

https://www.ispot.tv/topic/actor-actress/ArU/erika-soto

Posted by: derit at May 21, 2016 08:31 PM (OC+TJ)

159 151 "Speaking of horses, why is it an oft-used insult to call someone a "horse's ass"?"

That comes from when a horse was your living-pet-automobile-survival-prepper. Think of the relationship some have with their cars, love-hate shall we say.

With horses, it's a order of magnitude more intense.

Posted by: Meremortal, vino! at May 21, 2016 08:27 PM (3myMJ)

Ahhhhh. That makes sense. But I still think I'd prefer to refer to the ass of a disgusting animal when insulting someone. For example, a pig, a yak, a warthog, Lena Dunham, etc.

Posted by: Slappy at May 21, 2016 08:34 PM (rtfSu)

160 Horse racing is boring because there's no suspense; a horse always wins.

They should give the jockeys a head start. Affirmative action, as it were.

Posted by: Jay Guevara at May 21, 2016 08:38 PM (oKE6c)

161
I'd rather watch Dom DeLuise and Nell Carter going at it on the porn channel.

Doing the French Mistake.

Posted by: Bertram Cabot Jr. at May 21, 2016 08:40 PM (k4M/B)

162 For example, a pig, a yak, a warthog, Lena Dunham, etc.

Pic of one of Lena's used tampons:

https://pbs.tw___.com/media/CjBJvaDUkAE4m-_.jpg

Posted by: qdp "no thread is complete without a Lena Dunham joke" steve at May 21, 2016 08:41 PM (ntObR)

163
Horse racing is boring because there's no suspense; a horse always wins.

They should have a figure 8 or demolition derby horse race.

Posted by: Bertram Cabot Jr. at May 21, 2016 08:42 PM (k4M/B)

164 LMAO...just ready the Vox thingy highlighted on the sidebar. What a pant load. Jr. Journalist over there used descriptors in his article proving he can visualize. He's lying for attention. Hilarious.

Posted by: OrsonSnow at May 21, 2016 08:42 PM (3w14i)

165 162
For example, a pig, a yak, a warthog, Lena Dunham, etc.

Pic of one of Lena's used tampons:

https://pbs.tw___.com/media/CjBJvaDUkAE4m-_.jpg

Posted by: qdp "no thread is complete without a Lena Dunham joke" steve at May 21, 2016 08:41 PM (ntObR)

Yeah....not clicking that

Posted by: A dude in MI at May 21, 2016 08:42 PM (0LQ4f)

166 Dang it...

http://tinyurl.com/z9h9gyt

Posted by: qdpsteve at May 21, 2016 08:43 PM (ntObR)

167 They should have the jockeys snag horse like the Comanches used to do, choke them out and breathe into their nostrils just before they die. made for very loyal horses. Which made the Comanche the best horsemen in America.

Posted by: Pug Mahon at May 21, 2016 08:43 PM (vVhlK)

168 These horse murders are a devilish business, Watson.

Posted by: Fetlock Holmes at May 21, 2016 08:44 PM (AjTgU)

169 A pig, a yak, a warthog and Lena Dunham walk in to a bar.

Posted by: Bertram Cabot Jr. at May 21, 2016 08:44 PM (k4M/B)

170 They should give the jockeys a head start. Affirmative action, as it were.

Posted by: Jay Guevara at May 21, 2016 08:38 PM (oKE6c)

Next year, the Derby will have multiple diversity assigned finish lines to ensure that horses that self-identify as Horses of Color (HoC) get to overcome #WhiteHorsePrivilege!

Posted by: Hrothgar at May 21, 2016 08:45 PM (wYnyS)

171 "Exactly. This is why nowadays we invite someone to suck on a tailpipe."

Well there ya go.

One day there were buggy whip makers. The next day there weren't. They had to learn how to weld and shit. Blacksmiths were OK with it.

Posted by: Meremortal, vino! at May 21, 2016 08:45 PM (3myMJ)

172 @167 Stockhorse Syndrome? I thought only humans could be that dumb.

Posted by: Fetlock Holmes at May 21, 2016 08:46 PM (AjTgU)

173 158 Cutest actress in recent TV commercials:

Ice Breaker's gum unicorn fan and dancing girl for Sprint Mobile: Erika Soto

https://www.ispot.tv/topic/actor-actress/ArU/erika-soto
Posted by: derit at May 21, 2016 08:31 PM (OC+TJ)

I like the "Stay Giant" commercial. That belongs on the pet thread.

Posted by: rickl at May 21, 2016 08:46 PM (sdi6R)

174 Dick Francis did write some great stories.

Posted by: auscolpyr at May 21, 2016 08:47 PM (Ht/4p)

175 Hooves are boring. If only they could graft human feet onto horses, I'd watch.

Posted by: Quentin Tarantino at May 21, 2016 08:47 PM (AjTgU)

176 >>>A pig, a yak, a warthog and Lena Dunham walk in to a bar.<<<

And the bartender says to the pig, yak and warthog, "We don't serve child molesters here."

Posted by: Fritz at May 21, 2016 08:50 PM (f40FU)

177 Test___urtest

Posted by: Quentin Tarantino at May 21, 2016 08:51 PM (AjTgU)

178 If humans had evolved with hooves instead of hands... would we have come up with the word "handy"? I think not.

Posted by: neil degrasse tyson at May 21, 2016 08:52 PM (EWg9n)

179 Test___test

Posted by: Quentin Tarantino at May 21, 2016 08:52 PM (AjTgU)

180 @Fetlock, 172

Well, Gus McCrae opined that pigs are smarter than horses, and I am inclined to agree. Horses are smart enough to comply, and also dumb enough to comply.

Posted by: Pug Mahon at May 21, 2016 08:53 PM (vVhlK)

181 Ha! Dad found his second set of glasses we'd been looking for since he went to rehab! It was in his bed among the bedding somehow...no wonder we couldn't find it, I never thought to look there and, well, it's not like there was anyone sleeping there until recently...

Posted by: Brother Cavil at May 21, 2016 08:56 PM (D0J8L)

182 4 are you sure it doesn't mean "the thing golf watchers watch to convince themselves they are interesting persons"?

Posted by: weft cut-loop at May 21, 2016 06:50 PM (p2X2f)

...........

Wait one second. That was a horrible thing to say, Golf is a fun sport to watch!

Posted by: Molly k at May 21, 2016 09:02 PM (R33tx)

183 Posted by: Pug Mahon at May 21, 2016 08:53 PM (vVhlK)

I always thought it was a good thing that almost all horses don't realize how powerful they are compared to us puny humans!

Posted by: Hrothgar at May 21, 2016 09:02 PM (wYnyS)

184 Posted by: Brother Cavil at May 21, 2016 08:56 PM (D0J8L)

Nice, and that should ease his mind a bit as well!

Posted by: Hrothgar at May 21, 2016 09:03 PM (wYnyS)

185 Puns are our strong horse

Posted by: derit at May 21, 2016 09:03 PM (OC+TJ)

186 Just found out at FB, it's Cher's birthday.

She turns 97 today!!

Posted by: qdpsteve at May 21, 2016 09:04 PM (ntObR)

187 186 Just found out at FB, it's Cher's birthday.

She turns 97 today!!

Posted by: qdpsteve at May 21, 2016 09:04 PM (ntObR)

...........

If only she could turn back time...

Posted by: Molly k at May 21, 2016 09:06 PM (R33tx)

188 Molly k, yup. Her face is starting to crack and peel.

Posted by: qdpsteve at May 21, 2016 09:06 PM (ntObR)

189 This thread is withers-ing away

Posted by: Josephistan at May 21, 2016 09:07 PM (7qAYi)

190 FTSB: Proof that Vox Is Staffed Entirely by Mentally Deranged Nitwits

I have to believe this is bs clickbait. To be unable to visualize a red triangle in your mind is to be severely brain damaged.

Posted by: Grump928(c) notes at May 21, 2016 09:07 PM (apyCW)

191 "She turns 97 today!! "

What's that in horse years?

Posted by: Village Idiot's Apprentice at May 21, 2016 09:08 PM (ptqRm)

192 Yep, and if they were as smart as a post, they'd really be something.

I love 'em though.

Posted by: Meremortal, wine. oh yeah at May 21, 2016 08:04 PM (3myMJ)

.............

Apparently they are. We have one as secretary of state.

Posted by: Molly k at May 21, 2016 09:09 PM (R33tx)

193 You take an ordinary horse, cut off 'is legs, paint 'im grey, simple metal tube through the back of 'is head so he can breathe and Voila! 'es a dolphin!

Posted by: Grump928(c) notes at May 21, 2016 09:10 PM (apyCW)

194 178 If humans had evolved with hooves instead of hands... would we have come up with the word "handy"? I think not.
Posted by: neil degrasse tyson at May 21, 2016 08:52 PM (EWg9n)

It behooves you not to ask such questions.

Posted by: Jay Guevara at May 21, 2016 09:10 PM (oKE6c)

195 I would also give kudos to a horse being the democratic nominee as in horse terms of "being rode hard and put away wet" but I suspect she plays the jockey role in that.

Posted by: Molly k at May 21, 2016 09:11 PM (R33tx)

196 At each stamp the land shook and the trees dindled. And then it won the Preakness.
Posted by: C. S. Lewis at May 21, 2016 08:11 PM (AjTgU)

Trees only "dindle" in Lewis Carroll, you ass!

Unless you want some sort of beamish boy vorpalling his sword next to a snowy lamp-post.

And THEN where would we be?

I suppose you lot would just chuck a ring at him and start writing Christian apologetics.

Fuckin' departmental overreach, is what this is! Well, you're not getting MY college's sommallier budget and that's FINAL!

Posted by: Deety (Oxford Don) at May 21, 2016 09:13 PM (xPWMR)

197
Reviews coming in for Weiner. I'm going to see it this week.

Posted by: iforgot at May 21, 2016 09:15 PM (5o5ek)

198 Do centaurs speak in jive, refering to each other as their "mane man"?

Posted by: derit at May 21, 2016 09:15 PM (OC+TJ)

199 Ace should do another literary thread: he could assign us Equus.

Posted by: Quentin Tarantino at May 21, 2016 09:16 PM (AjTgU)

200 Review of "Weiner" at rogerebert.com.

http://www.rogerebert.com/reviews/weiner-2016

Posted by: qdpsteve at May 21, 2016 09:17 PM (ntObR)

201
Exactly how dumb are horses?

Posted by: iforgot at May 21, 2016 09:20 PM (5o5ek)

202 Ace should do another literary thread: he could assign us Equus.

Hay, cut out that horse play!

Posted by: derit at May 21, 2016 09:20 PM (OC+TJ)

203 Exactly how dumb are horses?

Thanks to science, not furlong

Posted by: derit at May 21, 2016 09:23 PM (OC+TJ)

204 197
Reviews coming in for Weiner. I'm going to see it this week.
Posted by: iforgot at May 21, 2016 09:15 PM (5o5ek)

It's yuuuge & fabulous.

Posted by: Donald Trump at May 21, 2016 09:23 PM (7qAYi)

205 Oh Nyquist, you let me down. And Nyquist knows that. The equine body language of the beast knows that he screwed the pooch. We will have to see what Exaggerator and Nyquist do in the Belmont.

Posted by: Comanche Voter at May 21, 2016 09:24 PM (Sda6L)

206
Yep, and if they were as smart as a post, they'd really be something.

Wilbur Post?

Posted by: Bertram Cabot Jr. at May 21, 2016 09:28 PM (k4M/B)

207 a shithole in a verrry bad neighborhood.

...
Pretty much describes Maryland

Most of Mary's Land is beautiful, full of Democrats but pretty.

Posted by: DaveA at May 21, 2016 09:28 PM (DL2i+)

208
Review of "Weiner" at rogerebert.com.

http://www.rogerebert.com/reviews/weiner-2016
Posted by: qdpsteve at May 21, 2016 09:17 PM (ntObR)
--------------------

Thanks, hadn't seen that one. It's amazing, there is no lefty apology anywhere for the ass.

Can you imagine if St. Breitbart hadn't snagged that dicpic? Weiner headed for his umpteenth term in Congress? I hope Huma is miserable with him. Evil of me, I know.

Posted by: iforgot at May 21, 2016 09:29 PM (5o5ek)

209 I might have watched it. May have given shit to Ace about a bike.

Maybe.

Posted by: Ricardo Kill at May 21, 2016 09:29 PM (9ym/8)

210 Preakness actually means, future dog food.

Posted by: Tilikum Killer Assault Whale at May 21, 2016 09:29 PM (hVdx9)

211
Oh Nyquist, you let me down. And Nyquist knows that. The equine body language of the beast knows that he screwed the pooch. We will have to see what Exaggerator and Nyquist do in the Belmont.
Posted by: Comanche Voter at May 21, 2016 09:24 PM (Sda6L)
-------------------

Now THAT'S what I mean by asking how smart they are! Laura Hillenbrand (author of Seabiscuit) says the racers love to compete, know when they've won, and get discouraged if they have too many losses.

Posted by: iforgot at May 21, 2016 09:31 PM (5o5ek)

212 "There are so many things about horse races. Why the horse-escort up to the gate? I don't get that. Why can't the horse go up to the gate by itself?"

Horses are herd animals, they are also very fight or flight, and this instinct is reified by breeding and training into thoroughbreds.

Getting up to the gate is fucking *fraught* for a horsey brain. Especially, one that has every fiber in their being sing, "FIGHT NOW, FLY NOW!!!"

Having a horsey companion, that you KNOW, walking with you up to the gate, maybe even companionably or even bossily bumping against you, let's you know that, "This is OK, I can do this. I don't have to absolutely lose my shit just...yet!"

Posted by: Deety (Oxford Don) at May 21, 2016 09:32 PM (xPWMR)

213 I heard Ace got a bike.

Posted by: Dr. Varno at May 21, 2016 09:32 PM (GdFQh)

214 Preakness, sponsored by Purina, whose medical tents attend to injured contestants with almost unseemly interest

Posted by: derit at May 21, 2016 09:33 PM (OC+TJ)

215 Ace should've gotten a horse instead of a bike.

Posted by: Dr. Varno at May 21, 2016 09:33 PM (GdFQh)

216
Preakness actually means, future dog food.
Posted by: Tilikum Killer Assault Whale at May 21, 2016 09:29 PM (hVdx9)
--------------------

Hah. More like "Hi, filly. Now stand still while I get on your back."

Posted by: iforgot at May 21, 2016 09:34 PM (5o5ek)

217 That way, when Ace rides into the room on his horse, he can tip his hat and say, "Howdy, morons."
It would be cool.

Posted by: Dr. Varno at May 21, 2016 09:35 PM (GdFQh)

218 Rain drops keep failing on my head
bit that never means the puns will end

Posted by: derit at May 21, 2016 09:35 PM (OC+TJ)

219 I was off watching Postmodern Jukebox for a while.

All of their female singers are just gorgeous. *sigh*

Posted by: rickl at May 21, 2016 09:35 PM (sdi6R)

220 213 he could have sprung for a decent hooker with what he blew on the bike.

Posted by: Weasel at May 21, 2016 09:35 PM (e3bId)

221 Oh Nyquist, you let me down.
-----------

It was the sampling rate, dammit. The jockey undersampled.

Posted by: Mike Hammer, etc., etc at May 21, 2016 09:35 PM (OLNwX)

222 Charging a horse into combat must have been an incredible thing

Posted by: Josephistan at May 21, 2016 09:36 PM (7qAYi)

223 ewoks on horseback is not as such a new thing as you imagine

Posted by: Dr. Varno at May 21, 2016 09:36 PM (GdFQh)

224
Posted by: Deety (Oxford Don) at May 21, 2016 09:32 PM (xPWMR)

-----------------------

Wow. Sounds like a lot to manage.

Posted by: iforgot at May 21, 2016 09:36 PM (5o5ek)

225 I feel bad for Felelonspoke. As a Catholic I am accustomed to really shitty homilies. If it weren't for my cognisant disonnance, and my hope and faith in transsubstantiantion, I probably would have quit the Church years ago.

Wifey is a cradle Catholic. I love her too much to quit.

Pray for universal salvation

. btw, this is a good article

http://tinyurl.com/hbqz8e5

The old God and the New God

Posted by: Grampa Jimbo at May 21, 2016 09:37 PM (1ijHg)

226 *piinches self"

Hello?

Posted by: Ricardo Kill at May 21, 2016 09:37 PM (9ym/8)

227 Ace always wanted a pony.

Posted by: Dr. Varno at May 21, 2016 09:37 PM (GdFQh)

228 Ace should have gotten a rescue dog. It would have made his walks interesting and he could even ride his bike with his dog, too.

Posted by: Bruce With a Wang! at May 21, 2016 09:38 PM (iQIUe)

229 rescue bikes are indeed a thing

Posted by: Dr. Varno at May 21, 2016 09:39 PM (GdFQh)

230 Hold it... are those horsehide panniers? Because, they look like horsehide.

Posted by: Mike Hammer, etc., etc at May 21, 2016 09:40 PM (OLNwX)

231 Charging a horse into combat must have been an incredible thing

I dun no, shoving a Testla cord up a mustang's rear end would result in a predictable outcome

Posted by: derit at May 21, 2016 09:40 PM (OC+TJ)

232 Emotional Support Python has boarding pass

Posted by: Dr. Varno at May 21, 2016 09:40 PM (GdFQh)

233 If it weren't for my cognisant disonnance, and my hope and faith in transsubstantiantion, I probably would have quit the Church years ago.

Word. I love the values and traditions, it's the f***ers that took it over that are on the brink of driving me off.

Posted by: Brother Cavil at May 21, 2016 09:40 PM (D0J8L)

234 OK so I'm sitting here playing with a shortwave receiver and tune into Radio Havana. After the propaganda about how their wonderful hydropower system they start a program featuring the music of Jackson Brown.

Posted by: freaked at May 21, 2016 09:41 PM (BO/km)

235 "They" want to automate our 18-wheeler trucks. They want to put all those people out of work. They want to reduce the cost of cargo by a few dollars.

Sometimes, you have to say no. Just because you can, doesn't mean you should.

We already have 94 million people permanently out of work.

Posted by: Great Reagan's Ghost at May 21, 2016 09:41 PM (kfoLf)

236 CrossPosting:

2 words for you

Recumbent Tricycle

http://www.greenspeed.com.au/
anura_main.html

No pain, stop whenever you want, same grin you had when you we're a kid.
3 wheel drifting.

They're all $$$$ though.

Posted by: DaveA at May 21, 2016 09:41 PM (DL2i+)

237 "Ahhhhh. That makes sense. But I still think I'd prefer to refer to the ass of a disgusting animal when insulting someone. For example, a pig, a yak, a warthog, Lena Dunham, etc."

I would imagine that back in our more agricultural days, busting, sod, plowing, etc. (backbreaking, mind numbing, drudgery) one might have hours and hours and hours to contemplate an horses ass and come to think THAT the most hateful symbol of every thing wrong in this universe.

But that's just me...

Being IMAGINATIVE!!

Posted by: Deety at May 21, 2016 09:41 PM (xPWMR)

238 I mean wtf I tuned in to hear some Cuban music not this bullshit.

Posted by: freaked at May 21, 2016 09:42 PM (BO/km)

239 The one part of that Weiner review that is jarring is how it offhand says "the American public's often infantile prudishness about sex". I've been hearing this all my life, by the same urban sophisticates in several countries.

No, the scandal wasn't "about sex" and it wasn't about "the American public" either. It was about this one nitwit who cannot control himself. The American public does have its faults but in this case, it was right to mock him.

Posted by: boulder terlit hobo at May 21, 2016 09:42 PM (6FqZa)

240 234 RH has some excellent music programming.

Posted by: Weasel at May 21, 2016 09:42 PM (e3bId)

241 >>234 OK so I'm sitting here playing with a shortwave receiver and tune into Radio Havana. After the propaganda about how their wonderful hydropower system they start a program featuring the music of Jackson Brown.

John Kerry must've twisted Castro's arm.
Or twisted something.

Posted by: Dr. Varno at May 21, 2016 09:42 PM (GdFQh)

242 it's the f***ers that took it over that are on the brink of driving me off.
Posted by: Brother Cavil
----------

C'mon over to my church.

Posted by: Bisophp Spong at May 21, 2016 09:43 PM (OLNwX)

243 OK so I'm sitting here playing with a shortwave receiver and tune into Radio Havana. After the propaganda about how their wonderful hydropower system they start a program featuring the music of Jackson Brown.
--------------

The great thing about Radio Havana's reporting is that it's more honest than NPR's.

Posted by: Bisophp Spong at May 21, 2016 09:45 PM (OLNwX)

244 Found an enjoyable spot on You Tube
Police Shooting Criminals

http://preview.tinyurl.com/he6pee9

Posted by: Tilikum Killer Assault Whale at May 21, 2016 09:45 PM (hVdx9)

245 I swear, if I ever hear a Catholic priest within my person earshot speak about getting away from "that God stuff" I will make the police blotter in a very singular manner that day, so f'ing help me God.

Posted by: Brother Cavil at May 21, 2016 09:46 PM (D0J8L)

246 I swear, if I ever hear a Catholic priest within my person earshot speak about getting away from "that God stuff" I will make the police blotter in a very singular manner that day, so f'ing help me God.
Posted by: Brother Cavil
------------

On second thought, perhaps you're not a good fit in my church.

Posted by: Bisophp Spong at May 21, 2016 09:47 PM (OLNwX)

247
The one part of that Weiner review that is jarring is how it offhand says "the American public's often infantile prudishness about sex". I've been hearing this all my life, by the same urban sophisticates in several countries.

------------------

Oh yeah, I admit I skimmed the review, and I've seen that line in quite a few of them. What a lying, lowlife, compulsive, family-pimping, vain, self-gratifying, useless piece of shit that man is. I don't have any infantile prudishness about sex, but whatever gets people like Weiner out of office suits me.

Posted by: iforgot at May 21, 2016 09:48 PM (5o5ek)

248 Oh god, Peter Jackson's "Heavenly Creatures" is creepy.

Close your eyes and think of the Fourth World

Posted by: boulder terlit hobo at May 21, 2016 09:49 PM (6FqZa)

249 I swear, if I ever hear a Catholic priest within my person earshot speak about getting away from "that God stuff"...

but when a radical comes to get you released, it'll be you and Raul freed from the prison yard

Posted by: derit at May 21, 2016 09:49 PM (OC+TJ)

250 'The great thing about Radio Havana's reporting is that it's more honest than NPR's.'

Ain't that the truth. National Propaganda Radio.

Posted by: freaked at May 21, 2016 09:49 PM (BO/km)

251 Weiner is clearly not getting "IT" at home.

Couldn't happen to a nicer fella.

Posted by: Grampa Jimbo at May 21, 2016 09:49 PM (1ijHg)

252 "I swear, if I ever hear a Catholic priest within my person earshot speak about getting away from "that God stuff" I will make the police blotter in a very singular manner that day, so f'ing help me God."

BC, that's pretty awesome.

Posted by: Ricardo Kill at May 21, 2016 09:50 PM (9ym/8)

253 "the American public's often infantile prudishness about sex".
--------------------------------------
Girls need to get over their discomfort with seeing male genitalia in their locker rooms.

Posted by: The Charlotte Observer at May 21, 2016 09:50 PM (OLNwX)

254 NPR" National Commie Radio.

Posted by: Grampa Jimbo at May 21, 2016 09:50 PM (1ijHg)

255 Seems Cuba likes Jackson Brown cause he sings songs against the evil capitalists.

Posted by: freaked at May 21, 2016 09:51 PM (BO/km)

256 I visited the Reagan Presidential Library out in Simi Valley, CA today. What struck me the most were all the Reagan quotes about America and its special status as being much more than just a piece of geography --the brilliance of its Founders, the incredible spirit of its people, and the selfless valor of its warriors. Quotes that I could never imagine issuing from the putrid purple-rimmed piehole of Prez'nit ShitMidas.

God, I miss the days when we had grownups in charge. And to have grownups in charge who understand America's uniqueness and importance -- well, I don't expect I'll ever see that again in my lifetime.

I'll be drinking heavily now if anyone is looking for me.

Posted by: Cicero (@cicero) at May 21, 2016 09:51 PM (sl+zA)

257 Radio Havana has better music. Most of the time.

Posted by: freaked at May 21, 2016 09:52 PM (BO/km)

258 I bet they also like themselves some Cat Stevens,

Posted by: Grampa Jimbo at May 21, 2016 09:52 PM (1ijHg)

259 We've been at Saratoga when a horse goes down. Heavy equipment goes out, screens go up so you can't see what they do, you never see the horse again, the trucks and tractors drive away.

Posted by: the littl shyning man at May 21, 2016 09:53 PM (kuz0E)

260 I've been hearing this all my life, by the same urban sophisticates in several countries.

They say sophistication I say eighth-graders.

Posted by: t-bird at May 21, 2016 09:54 PM (Z58Xa)

261
Girls need to get over their discomfort with seeing male genitalia in their locker rooms.
Posted by: The Charlotte Observer

New article - How the Charlotte Observer got it's name.

Posted by: Bertram Cabot Jr. at May 21, 2016 09:54 PM (k4M/B)

262 We've been at Saratoga when a horse goes down. Heavy equipment goes out, screens go up so you can't see what they do, you never see the horse again, the trucks and tractors drive away.
Posted by: the littl shyning man
------------

Stalin used to do the same thing.

Posted by: The Charlotte Observer at May 21, 2016 09:54 PM (OLNwX)

263 248 Oh god, Peter Jackson's "Heavenly Creatures" is creepy.

Close your eyes and think of the Fourth World
Posted by: boulder terlit hobo at May 21, 2016 09:49 PM (6FqZa)

==========
Because the brits really love their criminals, one of them was allowed to change their name and was issued a passport under that name. She was then allowed to move to the US and she lived here for a while. So, no one knew that she was a convicted murderer when she was allowed entry.

Posted by: Bruce With a Wang! at May 21, 2016 09:54 PM (iQIUe)

264 Cicero, I weep for my grandchildren.

And my stupid daughter buys into the lie.

Posted by: Grampa Jimbo at May 21, 2016 09:54 PM (1ijHg)

265 Huma has already let it be known that if Hillary is elected, she will leave her husband and young son to live in the white house much as Eleanor Roosevelt moved her dear friend into the white house. This is no marriage I am familiar with. What mother leaves her child?

Posted by: ThunderB at May 21, 2016 09:55 PM (zOTsN)

266 The Charlotte Observer needs to get over its diminishing readership.

Posted by: Mike Hammer, etc., etc at May 21, 2016 09:55 PM (OLNwX)

267 If it's Wiener's kid, I can understand.

Posted by: Grampa Jimbo at May 21, 2016 09:57 PM (1ijHg)

268 265 Huma has already let it be known that if Hillary is elected, she will leave her husband and young son to live in the white house much as Eleanor Roosevelt moved her dear friend into the white house. This is no marriage I am familiar with. What mother leaves her child?

Posted by: ThunderB at May 21, 2016 09:55 PM (zOTsN)

I can see her leaving that Weiner but a kid? This is bordering on beyond weird.

Posted by: Molly k at May 21, 2016 09:58 PM (R33tx)

269 Cicero, I weep for my grandchildren.

And my stupid daughter buys into the lie.

Posted by: Grampa Jimbo
****

Unfortunately the dems are very good at manipulating women emotionally. This is one of several reasons why it was thought women should not be allowed to vote.

Posted by: Tilikum Killer Assault Whale at May 21, 2016 09:58 PM (hVdx9)

270 Poor little boy born to a woman who hates his father

Posted by: ThunderB at May 21, 2016 09:58 PM (zOTsN)

271 ONT up

Posted by: weft cut-loop at May 21, 2016 09:58 PM (p2X2f)

272 Hello, Horde.

I'm single again.
People ruin everything.
Anyone know where I can get a good Pan-Galactic Gargle Blaster?

Posted by: Captain Whitebread On The All-Night Request Line at May 21, 2016 09:58 PM (rJUlF)

273 235 "They" want to automate our 18-wheeler trucks. They want to put all those people out of work. They want to reduce the cost of cargo by a few dollars.

Sometimes, you have to say no. Just because you can, doesn't mean you should.

We already have 94 million people permanently out of work.
Posted by: Great Reagan's Ghost at May 21, 2016 09:41 PM (kfoLf)

Yes, but those people can get new jobs building & servicing the robot trucks. Until robots start building & servicing the robot trucks. Which won't be for another 6 months or so.

Posted by: Josephistan at May 21, 2016 09:59 PM (7qAYi)

274 I'll be drinking heavily now if anyone is looking for me.

Posted by: Cicero (@cicero) at May 21, 2016 09:51 PM (sl+zA)

..............

Me too but I only have 2 left. Stay clear of my fridge will ya..

Posted by: Molly k at May 21, 2016 09:59 PM (R33tx)

275 Huma cried when she heard Hillary once had to carry her own bags up the stairs.
I say she cried because she knew it meant she'd get the strap-on in the butt- the one with the built in taser.

Posted by: Tilikum Killer Assault Whale at May 21, 2016 09:59 PM (hVdx9)

276 It was the sampling rate, dammit. The jockey undersampled.

Posted by: Mike Hammer, etc., etc at May 21, 2016 09:35 PM (OLNwX)

Heh! I knew there was a Nyquist joke waiting there.

Posted by: Alberta Oil Peon at May 21, 2016 09:59 PM (hyBvW)

277 Crap CW have one on me.

Posted by: Ford Prefect at May 21, 2016 10:01 PM (BO/km)

278 "Exactly how dumb are horses?"

Well, they're not chickens, I'll give them that much but they're not exactly dogs either.

There's variation by breed characteristics and individuals to be sure but the main thing that you HAVE to bear in mind when dealing w/ horsies is, they are so very INSTINCTUAL.

Even the most placid Belgian Draft horse, if you freak them out enough (and horses are SUPER easily freaked out) wants to just RUN and GET OUT OF HERE!!!

They are ALSO, by instinct, members of an hierarchical herd. So, if they look up to you as (an elder? I don't know, more dominant, source of food and comfort, interesting deformed 2-legged horsey that alleviates boredom once in a while?) you can reassure them that, "Nah, brah, we got's this."

I think that's the big part of working with horses.

The WE part.

They are individually curious and can be aggressive or absolute shrieking ninnies (sometimes all 3 in a blink of an eye) but as long as they FEEL like there's a WE there, they'll do just about anything you ask of them.

Posted by: Deety at May 21, 2016 10:02 PM (xPWMR)

279 Recumbent Tricycle

http://www.greenspeed.com.au/
anura_main.html

No pain, stop whenever you want, same grin you had when you we're a kid.
3 wheel drifting.

They're all $$$$ though.

Posted by: DaveA at May 21, 2016 09:41 PM (DL2i+)

"Recumbent Tricycle"? Is that Aussie slang for "road kill"?

Posted by: Alberta Oil Peon at May 21, 2016 10:03 PM (hyBvW)

280 239 The one part of that Weiner review that is jarring is how it offhand says "the American public's often infantile prudishness about sex". I've been hearing this all my life, by the same urban sophisticates in several countries.

No, the scandal wasn't "about sex" and it wasn't about "the American public" either. It was about this one nitwit who cannot control himself. The American public does have its faults but in this case, it was right to mock him.
Posted by: boulder terlit hobo at May 21, 2016 09:42 PM (6FqZa)

Serious question - would people have been as outraged over what Weiner did if he looked like Tom Brady instead of Beavis? And had a less ridiculous last name given the offense?

Posted by: Josephistan at May 21, 2016 10:03 PM (7qAYi)

281 Sorry to hear that Cap'n

Posted by: Brother Cavil at May 21, 2016 10:04 PM (D0J8L)

282
I visited the Reagan Presidential Library out in Simi Valley, CA today. What struck me the most were all the Reagan quotes about America and its special status as being much more than just a piece of geography --the brilliance of its Founders, the incredible spirit of its people, and the selfless valor of its warriors. Quotes that I could never imagine issuing from the putrid purple-rimmed piehole of Prez'nit ShitMidas.
----------------------

Srsly, what's TFG going to have in his presidential library?

I believe there's an excellent chance his entire legacy will have been overturned before the site is picked.

Posted by: iforgot at May 21, 2016 10:04 PM (5o5ek)

283 We've been at Saratoga when a horse goes down. Heavy equipment goes out, screens go up so you can't see what they do, you never see the horse again, the trucks and tractors drive away.

Posted by: the littl shyning man at May 21, 2016 09:53 PM (kuz0E)

But the "forklift" with the one big spike on it is a dead giveaway.

Posted by: Alberta Oil Peon at May 21, 2016 10:06 PM (hyBvW)

284
Serious question - would people have been as outraged over what Weiner did if he looked like Tom Brady instead of Beavis? And had a less ridiculous last name given the offense?
Posted by: Josephistan at May 21, 2016 10:03 PM (7qAYi)
-------------------------

Gary Hart and Jonathan Edwards were pretty good looking and they went down. As for the name, it never stopped him from getting elected to Congress and almost mayor of NY.

Posted by: iforgot at May 21, 2016 10:08 PM (5o5ek)

285
Posted by: Deety at May 21, 2016 10:02 PM (xPWMR)
--------------------

Interesting. I guess that's why they also like animal companions.

Posted by: iforgot at May 21, 2016 10:11 PM (5o5ek)

286 Exactly how dumb are horses?

Smart enough to star in a TV show! Oh, come to think of it, bad example...

Posted by: Mr. Ed at May 21, 2016 10:34 PM (Z58Xa)

287 you never see the horse again, the trucks and tractors drive away.

Don't be so sure about that.

Posted by: The Soylent Corporation at May 21, 2016 10:36 PM (Z58Xa)

288 Evening horde.

Watching SNL. I don't learn.

Posted by: RWC - Team BOHICA at May 22, 2016 12:30 AM (hlMPp)

289 Re the Vox guy: look up Temple Grandin.

Posted by: bruce at May 22, 2016 02:40 AM (312Q/)

290 Temple Grandin says she only thinks in pictures. The Vox guy says he only thinks in words. It's called the Autism Spectrum, and I'm diagnosed on it too. I seem to mostly think in pictures. I only found out that I was different in the last decade, my 60th. My whole life I learned to mask my oddness. Well I thought everyone else was doing that too. I can use words, but only by moving vocal muscles (leaned to do it with my mouth closed). Otherwise its all pictures. I can't "think". So you guys are telling me that you don't reason by stumbling suddenly upon a profound conjunction of images, and then have to struggle to find words to fit all these non-verbal insights? Wow, lucky you I guess. I'd rather be me though.

Posted by: bruce at May 22, 2016 02:55 AM (312Q/)

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