Saturday Afternoon Chess/Open Thread 05-21-2016 [OregonMuse]

The Moment When Trigglypuff's Mom Set Her Daughter's Destiny

Chess Thread pic courtesy of @JonasChr88 (by way of long-time moron @ThePoliticalHat), thanks to both.

And speaking of which, one good thing about chess is that the social justice weenies and crybullies haven't tried to ruin it. For sure there are chess players whose politics are far on the kook left way past where the buses run, but even so, nobody has tried to "reinvent" or "reimagine" chess along feminist lines, or promote "homo chess" or whatever they might want to call something like that. I don't know what they could do, make biodegradable chess pieces, I guess.

Even the commies didn't try to ruin chess. They just took it as it was and made it an instrument to promote commie superiority. They may have tried to rig international competitions back in the day, but they didn't change the game itself.

I had heard that the Nazis tried to replace chess with their own strategy game, called 'Taktik' or 'Tactik', something like that. I couldn't find any reference to it online, but the wiki entry for Nazi board games makes for an interesting read, and by 'interesting', I mean kind of disturbing and creepy.

Since chess is all about fighting and attacking and capturing and the like, they'd basically have to build a new game, one based on "feminist" values such as ~~hatred of normal life, whining as a virtue, and vaginal worship~~ cooperative effort, mutually beneficial relationship-building, and emotional healing. Only nobody would want to play it, because it would be boring as hell. Because feminism and fun go together like fishes and bicycles.

White Mates In 1 - Simple

We have two mates-in-1 problems this week. This one I consider the easier one:

FEN: [rnb3r1/pp1pb2p/2pk1nq1/6BQ/8/8/PPP3PP/4RRK1 w - - 0 1]

The first thing I notice about this position is, we're deep in the middle game and holy crap, look at Black's queen's side (upper left corner of the diagram), it's completely undeveloped. So Black is fighting with only half of his army. No wonder he's about to go down.

White Mates In 1 - Trickier

FEN: [1Bb3BN/R2Pk2r/1Q5B/4q2R/2bN4/4Q1BK/1p6/1bq1R1rb w - - 0 1]

This problem was featured in one of the daily Tactics Time e-mails of a few days ago. If you're on the list, you've already seen it.

This is not a position that would ever occur in an actual game. I mean, really, look at it. Black has 4 bishops, and they're all on the same color? Right. There are other improbable piece arrangements, too.

But it makes for a good puzzle. You'd think a mate-in-1 would be easy to find, but this one's a bit tricky. Naturally, I didn't find it. I thought I did at first, but here is what happened:

1. Studied tricky mate-in-1 problem
2. Found the solution
3. Looked up the "official" problem solution to check it against mine
4. Discovered that my solution was different than the "official" solution
5. Stared at problem to try to figure out why my solution failed; failed to find failure
6. Ran my solution through a chess engine app, which made it obvious what my failure was.
7. Cursed wildly and threw a trigglypuff tantrum because I had failed to find the correct solution and also, I had forever spoiled the puzzle for myself.

As in chess, so, too, in real life, move order is often critically important. Here, I should've done step 6 before step 3. If I had, I might have avoided step 7.

Argh.

Anyway, I hope you morons can do better with this problem than I did.

A Chess Tactics Book For Absolute, Rock-Bottom Beginners

I discovered this by accident on Amazon, A very first book on chess tactics: A first step for young beginners by Job Rodrigues:

THIS LITTLE Book was written for you, beginner looking for an easy starting point for your studies on chess.

NO THEORY, Just diagrams with practical tests.

IF YOU Have learned how to play chess last week, this book is for you.

IF YOU Are looking for an easy book for a child, any 10-years old boy is able to read this "diagram-based" book.

You don't even have to know chess notation in order to profit from this book.

Available for cheap on Kindle ($2.99). Also, paperback ($9.99).

Another book just like this one is the more famous Bobby Fischer Teaches Chess by Himself:

This book is essentially a chess teaching machine. The way a teaching machine works is: It asks you a question. If you give the right answer, it goes on to the next question. If you give the wrong answer, it tells you why the answer is wrong and tells you to go back and try again. This is called "programmed learning".

Just to be clear, other than writing a short intro, I don't think Fischer did any actual work on this book other than lend his name to it. But it is a worthwhile book nonetheless. And as with the first book I mentioned, no knowledge of chess notation is required; the book consists of diagrams of simple checkmates.

I read Fischer's book many years ago and I remember thinking "oh come on, these problems are too easy", but I still remember the patterns they taught, even years later, so despite my complaints, I think I must've learned some things that I thought I didn't need to learn.

White To Play And Win

FEN: [r1bq4/1p4kp/3p1n2/5pB1/p1pQ4/8/1P4PP/4RRK1 w - - 0 1]

For this problem, a demonstrated checkmate is not necessary, just show how White can achieve a decisive material or positional advantage.

Swipe the line to the right of these words if you need a hint: Deflect/remove a crucial defender.

Endgame Of The Week

This is an endgame problem that will be tough on you noobs. It's White to play and force a draw:

FEN: [k4K2/8/4P1p1/8/8/8/4b3/8 w - - 0 1]

At at first glance, you'd think there's no way White can draw. White's king will never catch that 'g' pawn, and if he tries to queen his 'e' pawn, Black can drop his bishop back to b5 and prevent that from happening.

If White tries to rush things with an immediate 1.e7, Black responds with 1...Bb5. And if 2.Kg7, then 2...g5, the pawn says 'bye-bye',and White is hosed.

So that's not the way you do it. As the Wicked Witch of the West said to Dorothy as she was trying to figure out how to get her ruby slippers, "these things must be done delllllllll-icately."

If you're playing White, despite what you may see, you can actually finagle a draw out of this position, which will leave Black cursing you and your little dog, too. Good luck finding it.

I will be posting the solution not as a comment, but here as an update, at an appropriate time.

___________

Note: that cryptic line of letters and numbers you see underneath each board diagram is a representation of the position in what is known as "Forsyth-Edwards Notation", or F.E.N. It's actually readable by humans. Most computer applications nowadays can read FEN, so those of you who may want to study the position, you can copy the line of FEN and paste into your chess app and it should automatically recreate the position on its display board.

___________

So that about wraps it up for this week. Chess thread tips, suggestions, bribes, rumors, threats, and insults may be sent to my yahoo address: OregonMuse little-a-in-a-circle yahoo dott com.

[Update]: Here are the solutions to this week's puzzles.

A. Simple Mate in 1: 1.Bf4#. First in with the solution: bensadoo at comment #5

B. Tricky Mate in 1: 1.Qa3#, first found by Connortown at #15.

C. White to play and win: I think jsg at #49 got this first:

1.Re8 is the key move. Now the Queen has to either move or take the Rook, so if 1...Qxe8 then:

2.Qxf6+ Kg8 3. Bh6 Qf7 4. Qd8+ Qf8 5. Qxf8#

My chess app preferred 1...h6 instead of taking the rook, but he'll still lose, just in a different way:

1.Re8 h6 2.Rxd8 hxg5 3.Rxd6 Be6 4.Rxe6 Rf8 5.Rxf5 a3 6.Rxg5+ Kh8
7.Rxf6 Rxf6 8.Qxf6+ Kh7 9.Qg7#

D) Endgame of the week:

Protest Manager, jsb, and blogforce all contributed to the solution.

In order to win, Black must accomplish two tasks:

1. Stop White from queening his 'e' pawn
2. Promote his own 'g' pawn

The problem Black faces is that he doesn't have time to do both. White's main weapon is his king, which needs to be centrally deployed in order to guard against either of Black's courses of action. So the (critical) first move is

1.Ke7! g5

Black decides to run his pawn (goal #2)

2.Kd6 g4

How does White have the time to catch that pawn?

3.e7 Bb5

Black is forced to divert his attention away from his pawn and bring his bishop up to guard e8, the queening square. And now

4.Kc5!

The point. By attacking the bishop, White now gains the time he needs to catch the 'g' pawn.

4...Bd7

Black removes his bishop from harm's way

5. Kd4 Kb7

Black brings his king over to pick off White's pesky 'e' pawn.

6. Ke4 Kc6

Meanwhile, White now closes in on the 'g' pawn.

7. Kf4 Kd6 8. e8=Q Bxe8 9. Kxg4 draw

There are a couple of variations worth looking at. First, let's say that instead of pushing his pawn, Black wants to immediately go after White's advanced pawn. Then it would look like this:

1.Ke7 Bb5 2. Kf6 Bd3

To protect his 'g' pawn. If 2...Be8, then 3.Ke7.

3. e7 Bb5

Back to guarding the queening square.

4. Kxg6 draw

The other variation arises if Black does not bring his King over on move 5, but tries to promote. So:

5. Kd4 g3 6. Ke3 g2 7. Kf2 Bc6

Black tried to protect his asset, but it's to no avail:

8. e8=Q+ Bxe8 9. Kxg2, draw

So, by adroit positioning of his King and the use of his advanced pawn as a threat at the appropriate moment, White is able to force the draw. And this despite his being behind by a bishop.

here is the entire solution without the yammering commentary, the main line is in bold:

1.Ke7 g5
(1...Bb5 2.Kf6 Bd3 3.e7 Bb5 4.Kxg6, draw)
2.Kd6 g4
(2...Bh5 3.Ke5 Kb7 4.e7 Kc7 5.Kf5 g4 6.e8=Q Bxe8 7.Kxg4, draw)
3.e7 Bb5 4.Kc5 Bd7 5.Kd4 Kb7
(5...g3 6.Ke3 g2 7.Kf2 Bc6 8.e8=Q+ Bxe8 9.Kxg2, draw)
6.Ke4 Kc6 7.Kf4 Kd6 8.e8=Q Bxe8 9.Kxg4, draw

Posted by: Open Blogger at 04:30 PM

Comments

(Jump to bottom of comments)

1 I have to run an errand, I will be back in about an hour.

Posted by: OregonMuse at May 21, 2016 04:28 PM (FiRoZ)

2 I came here to chew gum and play chess. And I'm all outta chess.

/s

*all deferences to OM*

Posted by: Ricardo Kill at May 21, 2016 04:30 PM (9ym/8)

3 Fess up, morons and 'ettes. You can't hide these two forever:
http://tinyurl.com/z2ztv5s

Posted by: boulder terlit hobo at May 21, 2016 04:33 PM (6FqZa)

4 If that first position was from an actual game, it must have come as a shock to White as well.

"Holy shit, I have a mate in 1!"

(I think I know the move, but I don't want to spoil it so soon.)

Posted by: rickl at May 21, 2016 04:34 PM (sdi6R)

5 Problem 1 Bishop to F4 - Mate
Problem 2 Pawn to d8 (Queen) - Mate

Posted by: bensdad00 at May 21, 2016 04:39 PM (zd3um)

6 Poor Trigglypuff. I hope she found a safe space.

Posted by: Emory University Snowflake at May 21, 2016 04:42 PM (Tyii7)

7 POPCORN ALERT: Bernie has endorsed Debbie WasAMan/Schultz's primary opponent.

Posted by: Kanye Wes' at May 21, 2016 04:46 PM (3hIZX)

8 5 Problem 1 Bishop to F4 - Mate
Problem 2 Pawn to d8 (Queen) - Mate
Posted by: bensdad00 at May 21, 2016 04:39 PM (zd3um)

That's what I got for both.

Posted by: rickl at May 21, 2016 04:47 PM (sdi6R)

9 There are some fun endgame problems that you can solve by realizing that the king can chase down pawns just as well by moving diagonally as by going in a straight line.

For the posted one you want to run out towards b5 then push your pawn as soon as black hits g4. I'm pretty sure that sews up the draw.

Posted by: Jake (not officially a regular) at May 21, 2016 04:51 PM (agq3q)

10 Missed the pet thread, I see.

Two pieces of news:

1. We're getting a "new" cat on Wednesday. She's not a kitten, so that's why I put the scare quotes in. Really looking forward to her joining the family.

2. My oldest cat, not 10 minutes ago, tried to bring a chipmunk into the house. He rarely goes outside, and frankly I didn't think he had it in him to catch prey. He did. But I wouldn't let him bring it in, so eventually he lost his grip and the thing scurried away. Damn proud of my boy, I am. I really thought he'd spent too much of his life indoors. They never stop being wild animals though.

Posted by: BurtTC at May 21, 2016 04:52 PM (Dj0WE)

11 5 Problem 2 Pawn to d8 (Queen) - Mate

Pawn can't move to d8. The black bishop is pinning it to the white King. I was thinking dxc8=K but then the King has e8...

Posted by: jsg at May 21, 2016 04:55 PM (2xQEd)

12 I have been playing my tablet a lot, not sure I'm getting better. But your thread OM has got me interested again. Now onto the problems.

Posted by: Skip at May 21, 2016 04:57 PM (3wHFl)

13 11 5 Problem 2 Pawn to d8 (Queen) - Mate

Pawn can't move to d8. The black bishop is pinning it to the white King.
Posted by: jsg at May 21, 2016 04:55 PM (2xQEd)

Oh, wow, you're right. That is truly an evil problem.

Posted by: rickl at May 21, 2016 04:58 PM (sdi6R)

14 The first problem was a pretty quick find, and not unlike some games I've been suckered into when playing a much stronger computer which is prone to gambits. Black may have half his army activated, but White sacrificed half his to get this position.

So Ben looks like he nailed it at #5 on both. At first I thought the second problem was going to be one of those rare times when you'd promote a pawn to a knight, but there was an escape square.

Posted by: Burn the Witch at May 21, 2016 04:58 PM (Wckf4)

15 On #2, I got queen to A3. That looks like a mate, too. But I can't see what's wrong with pawn to D8..

Posted by: Connertown at May 21, 2016 05:01 PM (xSeGq)

16 And DOH! Missed the pin on the pawn.

Posted by: Burn the Witch at May 21, 2016 05:01 PM (Wckf4)

17 Twitter is threatening a guy for commenting on the Elton John sex scandal. There is a superinjunction against publishing info on it. However, that only applies to the UK. Now they are threatening Americans??

Elton John is also threatening to sue him. For what?

https://twitter.com/MarkDice

Posted by: Bruce With a Wang! at May 21, 2016 05:01 PM (iQIUe)

18 13 oops. Correction PXB (Queen) revealed rook mate?

Posted by: bensdad00 at May 21, 2016 05:01 PM (zd3um)

19 Ke7 g5
Kd6 g4
e7 Bb5 (have to do the pawn push here, when Bishop is blocked from H5 by the pawn on G4
Kc5 B moves

Doesn't matter when the bishop moves, that move gives White the tempo it needs to Kd4. After which, the Black pawn is dead

Posted by: Protest Manager at May 21, 2016 05:02 PM (EHXFy)

20 18 Bishop on h1 can come flying in for the block. Turning it into the knight makes a double check but gives the king a spot to move.

Posted by: Jake (not officially a regular) at May 21, 2016 05:03 PM (agq3q)

21
What's the scandal on Elton John?

Posted by: Mister Magoo at May 21, 2016 05:03 PM (XzuSc)

22 21
What's the scandal on Elton John?

Posted by: Mister Magoo at May 21, 2016 05:03 PM (XzuSc)

============
Threesomes. Prostitutes. I cant believe twitter would attempt to enforce a superinjunction here.

Posted by: Bruce With a Wang! at May 21, 2016 05:05 PM (iQIUe)

23 The Moment When Trigglypuff's Mom Set Her Daughter's Destiny

Mom? It's a man, baby!

Posted by: TheQuietMan at May 21, 2016 05:05 PM (45oDG)

24 Second position: Qf6#

Posted by: rickl at May 21, 2016 05:06 PM (sdi6R)

25 POPCORN ALERT: Bernie has endorsed Debbie WasAMan/Schultz's primary opponent.

Posted by: Kanye Wes' at May 21, 2016 04:46 PM (3hIZX)

I hope that old commie goes all Stalingrad on the Dems and digs in for a long bloody fight

Posted by: TheQuietMan at May 21, 2016 05:06 PM (45oDG)

26 20 RRGGHH. Qg5

Posted by: bensdad00 at May 21, 2016 05:06 PM (zd3um)

27 NO! Then Kxd7.

Posted by: rickl at May 21, 2016 05:07 PM (sdi6R)

28 What's the scandal on Elton John?

Posted by: Mister Magoo at May 21, 2016 05:03 PM (XzuSc)

He's gay.

Posted by: BurtTC at May 21, 2016 05:07 PM (Dj0WE)

29
Threesomes seems to be the hardest word.

Posted by: PreZombie Elton John at May 21, 2016 05:07 PM (0cMkb)

30 9 There are some fun endgame problems that you can solve by realizing that the king can chase down pawns just as well by moving diagonally as by going in a straight line.

This is true. One of the things that stuck with me is telling if you can catch a pawn if you're a bit away from it. In that endgame, the g pawn can be caught if the King can step into the 'box'. Take the diagonal from the pawn to b1. The 'box' is then b1,b6,g6, and g1. White is one move out of the box and needs an extra tempo to draw. Somehow.pawn to e8 eventually. Make the bishop move twice.

Posted by: jsg at May 21, 2016 05:08 PM (2xQEd)

31 27 d7 is protected by a rook

Posted by: bensdad00 at May 21, 2016 05:08 PM (zd3um)

32 27 NO! Then Kxd7.
Posted by: rickl at May 21, 2016 05:07 PM (sdi6R)

I was right the first time. The pawn is protected by the rook. Qf6 is mate.

I'm too drunk for this.

Posted by: rickl at May 21, 2016 05:10 PM (sdi6R)

33 Hoy!

I'm a lyricist with Elton John

and

the lyricist for a musical called "Chess".

And now, I hereby declare the memes and themes of this thread conjoined!

Posted by: Tim Rice at May 21, 2016 05:10 PM (0cMkb)

34 I don't know what I'm missing. In the 2nd case it seems like move the pawn to become a queen and the black king has no out but I can't see a 1 move mate in the first puzzle.

Posted by: PaleRider at May 21, 2016 05:11 PM (wYRTH)

35 32 I can't see a difference between Qf6 and Qg5

Posted by: bensdad00 at May 21, 2016 05:11 PM (zd3um)

36 28 What's the scandal on Elton John?

Posted by: Mister Magoo at May 21, 2016 05:03 PM (XzuSc)

He's gay.
Posted by: BurtTC at May 21, 2016 05:07 PM (Dj0WE)

LOL

Posted by: washrivergal at May 21, 2016 05:12 PM (CFc5L)

37 Problem 2 I get Kn - g6 ch
But either way the pawns have been busy

Posted by: Skip at May 21, 2016 05:12 PM (3wHFl)

38 You losers should be playing live chess while the thread is young.

Posted by: Burn the Witch at May 21, 2016 05:13 PM (Wckf4)

39 37 Bishop on b1 can capture the knight

Posted by: bensdad00 at May 21, 2016 05:14 PM (zd3um)

40 Qf6 is safe from the black queen on c1.

Posted by: Jake (not officially a regular) at May 21, 2016 05:15 PM (agq3q)

41 OTOH Kxf6 seems legal.

Posted by: Jake (not officially a regular) at May 21, 2016 05:15 PM (agq3q)

42 19 Ke7 g5
Kd6 g4
e7 Bb5 (have to do the pawn push here, when Bishop is blocked from H5 by the pawn on G4
Kc5 B moves

Doesn't matter when the bishop moves, that move gives White the tempo it needs to Kd4. After which, the Black pawn is dead
Posted by: Protest Manager at May 21, 2016 05:02 PM (EHXFy)

You then have to make the bishop move again with Kc5, then the King can get to d4, and it's over.

Posted by: jsg at May 21, 2016 05:16 PM (2xQEd)

43 and don't forget...

3) the Queen is expected to mate the other King

Posted by: t-bird at May 21, 2016 05:17 PM (eeTCA)

44 And as an aside, I'm not the biggest fan of manudfactured problems like this - i.e. ones that have a practical 0 chance of actually happening (3 pawns all promoted to white-square bishops?) The only thing that should ever result from a promotion besides a Queen is a Knight - and even then only rarely. Bishop and Rook promotions are useless since the never provide an advantage that a Queen doesn't.

Posted by: bensdad00 at May 21, 2016 05:17 PM (zd3um)

45 Even the commies didn't try to ruin chess.

In fact, they gave us boxing chess- or chess boxing, not sure what it's called.

Posted by: t-bird at May 21, 2016 05:20 PM (eeTCA)

46 Sooooo Bg5 Mate?

Posted by: bensdad00 at May 21, 2016 05:20 PM (zd3um)

47 43 and don't forget...

3) the Queen is expected to mate the other King
Posted by: t-bird at May 21, 2016 05:17 PM (eeTCA)

---------------

What a slut!

Posted by: Duke Lowell at May 21, 2016 05:21 PM (kTF2Z)

48 The suck - it is embraced.

Posted by: Insomniac at May 21, 2016 05:21 PM (0mRoj)

49 On the White to win, I'm going 1. Re8, Qxe8 2. Qxf6+, Kg8 3, Bh6

Posted by: jsg at May 21, 2016 05:21 PM (2xQEd)

50 Bd6 looks better to me.

Posted by: Jake (not officially a regular) at May 21, 2016 05:21 PM (agq3q)

51 Another reason why Megyn Kelly is a scrunt:

https://goo.gl/oxFtQo

Posted by: Bruce With a Wang! at May 21, 2016 05:22 PM (iQIUe)

52 I take it back, you can't cover up the queen on the sixth rank or the king escapes. How about Bh4?

Posted by: Jake (not officially a regular) at May 21, 2016 05:23 PM (agq3q)

53 44 And as an aside, I'm not the biggest fan of manudfactured problems like this - i.e. ones that have a practical 0 chance of actually happening

Ditto !

Posted by: Taggart at May 21, 2016 05:26 PM (2xQEd)

54 ok, now that its been mentioned I see the pawn pin on the 2nd puzzle, looks like white queen taking out black queen nails the king.

Posted by: PaleRider at May 21, 2016 05:27 PM (wYRTH)

55 ***"Another reason why Megyn Kelly is a scrunt: "***

I think her intelligence has been highly overrated, as evidenced by that clip. Not that the dude she was questioning was a bright bulb...

Posted by: Burn the Witch at May 21, 2016 05:28 PM (Wckf4)

56 Since we're makin' shite up - PxB (QN) mate.

Posted by: bensdad00 at May 21, 2016 05:28 PM (zd3um)

57 CNN reporting a Taliban leader was wacked by a drone strike today.

Posted by: Skip at May 21, 2016 05:29 PM (3wHFl)

58 ***"ok, now that its been mentioned I see the pawn pin on the 2nd puzzle, looks like white queen taking out black queen nails the king."***

Black interposes the bishop from c4 to e6.

Posted by: Burn the Witch at May 21, 2016 05:29 PM (Wckf4)

59 > Even the commies didn't try to ruin chess. They just took it as it was ...

Welcome to the People's Republic of China where they solved the problem of Draw by Three Move Repetition and Perpetual Check by making repeating a move illegal. This rule applied to national games only.

They also changed the rules for GO - those changes were popular enough that they became official worldwide. Something about black starting the game with a 5 � (or 3 �) point advantage. Since scoring is done by full points, draws become impossible.

Posted by: ArthurK at May 21, 2016 05:30 PM (h53OH)

60 49 On the White to win, I'm going 1. Re8, Qxe8 2. Qxf6+, Kg8 3, Bh6
Posted by: jsg at May 21, 2016 05:21 PM (2xQEd)

Yep, that's what I see. That threatens mate at g7, and I don't see how Black can stop it.

If 3...Qf7, 4. Qd8+ Qf8 5. Qxf8#

Posted by: rickl at May 21, 2016 05:30 PM (sdi6R)

61 Ick. That should read 5 and a half (or 3 and half)

Posted by: ArthurK at May 21, 2016 05:30 PM (h53OH)

62
You then have to make the bishop move again with Kc5, then the King can get to d4, and it's over.
Posted by: jsg at May 21, 2016 05:16 PM (2xQEd)

Meant to say the Kc5 move was what I was missing to gain that extra move. Good stuff.

Posted by: jsg at May 21, 2016 05:31 PM (2xQEd)

63 35 32 I can't see a difference between Qf6 and Qg5
Posted by: bensdad00 at May 21, 2016 05:11 PM (zd3um)

Qg5 can be captured by the black queen on the bottom row.

Posted by: MrX at May 21, 2016 05:35 PM (if9v9)

64 "Because feminism and fun go together like fishes and bicycles."

Touche'

Posted by: Germaine Greer at May 21, 2016 05:35 PM (1ijHg)

65 Somehow got on CNN ( black box pinging found in think) but panelist saying Hillary has more experience in international affairs is like saying General Custer had more military command experience.

Back to chess problems

Posted by: Skip at May 21, 2016 05:37 PM (3wHFl)

66 40 Qf6 is safe from the black queen on c1.
Posted by: Jake (not officially a regular) at May 21, 2016 05:15 PM (agq3q)

But not from the black king himself.

Posted by: MrX at May 21, 2016 05:37 PM (if9v9)

67 Last problem is KE7. Pg5 KD6 BB5 K c5 BA4 KD4! And he can now catch the black pawn and the bishop is overworked. It can't protect the black pawn and stop the white pawn from queening . Also, the black king is too far away to catch the white pawn

Posted by: blogforce one at May 21, 2016 05:39 PM (CG+Mw)

68 Chess sets* on sale !

*Transgendered King sold separately

Posted by: Target at May 21, 2016 05:40 PM (2xQEd)

69 66 40 Qf6 is safe from the black queen on c1.
Posted by: Jake (not officially a regular) at May 21, 2016 05:15 PM (agq3q)

But not from the black king himself.
Posted by: MrX at May 21, 2016 05:37 PM (if9v9)

D'OH!

Posted by: rickl at May 21, 2016 05:41 PM (sdi6R)

70 Gave up on the manufactured puzzle. It's like looking at some chick at 7-eleven with shit dangling from every possible piercable part in her head. And blue hair.

Posted by: jsg at May 21, 2016 05:45 PM (2xQEd)

71 Hi, I'm back.

The only thing that should ever result from a promotion besides a Queen is a Knight - and even then only rarely.

There's a very famous position where in order to win, you need to underpromote to a Rook, otherwise it'd be stalemate if you promoted to Queen. To me, sounds like it might have some practical applications.

Posted by: OregonMuse at May 21, 2016 05:47 PM (FiRoZ)

72
I think her intelligence has been highly overrated, as evidenced by that clip. Not that the dude she was questioning was a bright bulb...
Posted by: Burn the Witch at May 21, 2016 05:28 PM (Wckf4)

==========
He was taken back by the stupidity of her questions. I know I was. "Why wont America stand for it?" Gee, Megs, let you daughter share a locker room with an adult male and see if you would stand for it.

Posted by: Bruce With a Wang! at May 21, 2016 05:49 PM (iQIUe)

73 Casting Call for Horde members interested in doing voice-overs as a favor to a young 'Ette. Eldest Kidlet is working on a project and needs two more male voices. The final product will go up on her YouTube channel and voice actors will be credited.

Posted by: Polliwog the 'Ette at May 21, 2016 05:49 PM (GDulk)

74 My sister came up with her own varient of chess recently, but it had nothing to do with feminism. She basically mixed a couple of SE Asian variants together with an innovation or two of her own, then made a very nice set out of some sort of modelling clay, using animals for the different pieces. I tried a game with her and was winning handily for awhile, but then lost after I was unable to figure out how to use the new pieces effectively and lost track of how they moved or even what the animal figures stood for...very frustrating.
She was also writing a book (she writes fantasy stories) based on the moves of this particular chess variant - a little like a less obvious version of Through the Looking Glass, I gather. Kind of a weird idea and I'm not sure how it worked out in the end.

Posted by: Grey Fox at May 21, 2016 05:50 PM (bZ7mE)

75 @jsg
It is a weird one. Solution is up, #15.

Posted by: Anon Y. Mous at May 21, 2016 05:51 PM (R+30W)

76 53 44 And as an aside, I'm not the biggest fan of manudfactured problems like this - i.e. ones that have a practical 0 chance of actually happening

Normally, I'm not either. Like you guys, I prefer problems that look like actual games. But this one looked so outlandish and silly, I just had to use it.

Posted by: OregonMuse at May 21, 2016 05:51 PM (FiRoZ)

77 Qa3 for puzzle #2.

Posted by: MrX at May 21, 2016 05:54 PM (if9v9)

78 75 Solution is up, #15.

Posted by: Anon Y. Mous at May 21, 2016 05:51 PM (R+30W)

OK, thanks. Didn't see that one.

Posted by: jsg at May 21, 2016 05:55 PM (2xQEd)

79 Not really into chess but that cartoon cracked me up.

Posted by: Corona at May 21, 2016 05:57 PM (ragzU)

80 Oh, I got it! Nice. That black pawn on the second row tripped me up. I thought it could capture the queen if I moved to a3, but it's going in the other direction. lol.

Posted by: MrX at May 21, 2016 05:57 PM (if9v9)

81 I would appreciate this thread much more if you would please refer in terms that match my Star Trek Chess Set from the Franklin Mint (ie, Kirk takes Kahn, Tribble takes Sulu, etc.).

Posted by: 45 year old virgin at May 21, 2016 06:00 PM (SEFXb)

82 Polliwog. Having met and phoned, you'd know my voice. Would it fit your young 'ette's casting?

If so, I'd be happy to help.

That's if, you need a grumpy, grouchy sounding deep old geezer voice, right?

Jim
Sunk New Dawn
Galveston, TX

Posted by: Jim at May 21, 2016 06:00 PM (McRlu)

83 80 Oh, I got it! Nice. That black pawn on the second row tripped me up. I thought it could capture the queen if I moved to a3, but it's going in the other direction. lol.

Posted by: MrX at May 21, 2016 05:57 PM (if9v9)

That puzzle is such a goofy-assed configuration of pieces that it's hard to tell which side is which.

Posted by: OregonMuse at May 21, 2016 06:03 PM (FiRoZ)

84
Polliwogs, I checked out you knitnkittens website yesterday.

Although I'm not into knitting, you website is very nice. As someone who buys a lot of stuff online, your website looks professional and is easy to use.

I give knitnkittens 10/10 Magoos.

Posted by: Mister Magoo at May 21, 2016 06:06 PM (XzuSc)

85 81 I would appreciate this thread much more if you would please refer in terms that match my Star Trek Chess Set from the Franklin Mint (ie, Kirk takes Kahn, Tribble takes Sulu, etc.).
Posted by: 45 year old virgin at May 21, 2016 06:00 PM (SEFXb)

Queen to R2D2.

Posted by: Darth Helmet at May 21, 2016 06:07 PM (2xQEd)

86 Posted by: Jim at May 21, 2016 06:00 PM (McRlu)

She says thanks and she can indeed use your voice and to please contact her at nyrdak . gaming @ gmail (with all the usual things about removing spaces).

Posted by: Polliwog the 'Ette at May 21, 2016 06:09 PM (GDulk)

87
Flipping through the channels right now...

Grease is on. The Shining is on. And Valerie Bertinelli is on the Food channel.

Posted by: Mister Magoo at May 21, 2016 06:10 PM (XzuSc)

88 And Valerie Bertinelli is on the Food channel.

Posted by: Mister Magoo at May 21, 2016 06:10 PM (XzuSc)

VB used to be a little hottie back in the day. What does she look like now?

Posted by: OregonMuse at May 21, 2016 06:11 PM (FiRoZ)

89 I'm still mad at myself I can't find either of my chess sets. I found the board but sure the sets are in two different boxes. Not that it matters but one is ceramic I painted in a art class in high school, the other is American Revolution set with American vs British figures.

Posted by: Skip at May 21, 2016 06:11 PM (3wHFl)

90 Posted by: Mister Magoo at May 21, 2016 06:06 PM (XzuSc)

Yay! I want it to be as effective and efficient as possible because I want to be able to show that funding through market-based sources is a viable alternative to being dependent on donations or government grants.

Posted by: Polliwog the 'Ette at May 21, 2016 06:12 PM (GDulk)

91 I don't care what Elton John does privately, but I do care yhat he and his husband adopted a couple of boys and they were being portrayed as the perfect family. I feel sorry for the kids.

Posted by: Barb the Evil Genius at May 21, 2016 06:13 PM (FQKBL)

92 Posted by: Skip at May 21, 2016 06:11 PM (3wHFl)

Both sets sound amazing. I'm guessing "Where did you use them last?" isn't very helpful in this case.

Posted by: Polliwog the 'Ette at May 21, 2016 06:13 PM (GDulk)

93
For someone who quit twitter Ace is sure on twitter a lot. lol

Posted by: Bruce With a Wang! at May 21, 2016 06:15 PM (iQIUe)

94
What does she look like now?

Well, she's on the Food channel. I'd eat her.

Posted by: Mister Magoo at May 21, 2016 06:15 PM (XzuSc)

95 In line with the beginner books OM mentioned, I'll add "399 Super Easy Chess Tactics" by Tim Brennan. Same people who do the "tactics Time" books and website. The purpose of the book is to let newbies learn to capture pieces and maybe check. All it requires is knowing how the pieces move and algebraic notation. The ebook version presents the board on one page and solution on the next. I am finding it helpful to recognize opportunities.

Gotta check out the other books OM referenced. My pride isn't tied up in the game, just a desire to learn and improve.

Posted by: JTB at May 21, 2016 06:17 PM (V+03K)

96 Preakness about to go on NBC.

Posted by: weirdflunkyonatablet at May 21, 2016 06:17 PM (5OSXq)

97 I think at the Preakness the horses could use intermediate wet shoes and not full wets.

I've searched for those sets since the chess threads have started.

Posted by: Skip at May 21, 2016 06:18 PM (3wHFl)

98
/flips channel

college baseball

/flips channel

college women's softball

/quickly flips channel

Posted by: Mister Magoo at May 21, 2016 06:19 PM (XzuSc)

99 "VB used to be a little hottie back in the day. What does she look like now?"

Google-check. 2015.

Still a MILF at 56. Just sayin'.

Posted by: Ricardo Kill at May 21, 2016 06:19 PM (9ym/8)

100 Took me a while to find the food channel, Valerie looks the same as ODAAT just gained a few lbs.

Posted by: Skip at May 21, 2016 06:20 PM (3wHFl)

101 Little Bobby Costas was standing next to a jockey to interview him.

"Little Bobby" is right.

The red eyed devil could be a jockey himself.

Posted by: weirdflunkyonatablet at May 21, 2016 06:20 PM (5OSXq)

102 "Preakness about to go on NBC."

Holy shit!!

*Turns TV on.*

Posted by: Ricardo Kill at May 21, 2016 06:21 PM (9ym/8)

103 I was able to solve a couple of the daily puzzles on chess.com this week. I hope this doesn't come under the heading of a broken clock is right twice a day. :-)

Posted by: JTB at May 21, 2016 06:22 PM (V+03K)

104
Valerie Berinelli and Heather Locklear are the same age. Both look almost as good as they always did.

Posted by: Mister Magoo at May 21, 2016 06:23 PM (XzuSc)

105 94
Well, she's on the Food channel. I'd eat her.
Posted by: Mister Magoo at May 21, 2016 06:15 PM (XzuSc)

I Bing imaged her, and yes. This.

Posted by: rickl at May 21, 2016 06:23 PM (sdi6R)

106
You know who's a fat pig now?

That ugly broad "Flo" in the Progressive tv ads.

Posted by: Mister Magoo at May 21, 2016 06:24 PM (XzuSc)

107 In the second problem, pawn to c8, taking the bishop. Convert to queen.

Mate.

Posted by: NukemHill at May 21, 2016 06:24 PM (oxLh6)

108 Is the Preakness the race where the men dress like women and the women dress like men, and

they paint zebras to look like horses and they race against ocelots risen by spider monkeys

and at the end of the race they all have a big orgy on the racetrack. Animals included?

Or is that The Freakness?

I always get those two confused.

Posted by: naturalfake at May 21, 2016 06:25 PM (0cMkb)

109 "In fact, they gave us boxing chess- or chess boxing, not sure what it's called."

Was that anything like Hockey golf?

Where you get to check your opponent just as he is teeing off?

Posted by: Germaine Greer at May 21, 2016 06:26 PM (1ijHg)

110 I'd like to see a race where the horses do a lap then pit,change horseshoes and have to do another lap.

Posted by: Skip at May 21, 2016 06:26 PM (3wHFl)

111 Rancid feminazi sock off.

Posted by: Grampa Jimbo at May 21, 2016 06:27 PM (1ijHg)

112 Is the Preakness the race where the men dress like women and the women dress like men, and

they paint zebras to look like horses and they race against ocelots risen by spider monkeys

and at the end of the race they all have a big orgy on the racetrack. Animals included?

Or is that The Freakness?

I always get those two confused.
Posted by: naturalfake at May 21, 2016 06:25 PM (0cMkb)

No, that's the Democratic convention later this summer.

Posted by: weirdflunkyonatablet at May 21, 2016 06:27 PM (5OSXq)

113 And Valerie Bertinelli is on the Food channel.

Posted by: Mister Magoo at May 21, 2016 06:10 PM (XzuSc)

VB used to be a little hottie back in the day. What does she look like now?

Matronly.

But I would still do her.

Posted by: Grampa Jimbo at May 21, 2016 06:29 PM (1ijHg)

114 O/T and apologies in advance, but I just wanted to congratulate Mullah Mansour for the nice catch of that Hellfire missle. UAV boys did another really nice job of putting that one right over the plate.

Posted by: goon at May 21, 2016 06:29 PM (WCaSy)

115 Nood, the bicycle thread

Posted by: Skip at May 21, 2016 06:29 PM (3wHFl)

116 12 minutes....

Posted by: Ricardo Kill at May 21, 2016 06:29 PM (9ym/8)

117 This week's puzzle solutions are now posted as an update at the end.

Posted by: OregonMuse at May 21, 2016 06:35 PM (FiRoZ)

118 107 In the second problem, pawn to c8, taking the bishop. Convert to queen.
Mate.

Posted by: NukemHill at May 21, 2016 06:24 PM (oxLh6)

No.

Posted by: OregonMuse at May 21, 2016 06:36 PM (FiRoZ)

119 OM, Thanks for the thread and the solution update. It helps being able to work through the correct moves.

Posted by: JTB at May 21, 2016 06:42 PM (V+03K)

120 Oh yeah. Chess is THE game of the Patriarchy.

To be admitted to the White Peoples Patriarchy Association and Bowling Club you must know how all the pieces move AND order a sammich and a beer without moving a muscle.

Posted by: Bitter Clinger and All That at May 21, 2016 06:48 PM (Xo1Rt)

121 Thinking about Edward II, if the Queen gets fed up with King hanging with one the other pieces, is there a branch of chess that allows a combination with a knight or two to mess with theKing?

Posted by: goatweed at May 21, 2016 07:18 PM (CBcnm)

122 Anybody else here have Chess Titans on their Windows 7 computer?

I admit since these chess threads started up, I've been playing again. But in the past, I was playing at level 4 (it goes up to 10) and losing most of the time; now I'm playing at level 2 and usually winning, and-- call me crazy-- I think I'm learning more about how to win at the lower level.

Or maybe I's just a dum dum. I dunno. ;-)

Posted by: qdpsteve at May 21, 2016 08:19 PM (ntObR)

123 @122 Anybody else here have Chess Titans on their Windows 7 computer?
...
Posted by: qdpsteve at May 21, 2016 08:19 PM (ntObR)

I ended up having to use an old laptop back around Xmas, and happened to use "Chess Titans". I hadn't played in years. I had similar results - kicking butt at level 2, being competitive at Level 3, MY butt being kicked at Level 4.

Posted by: Optimizer at May 21, 2016 10:03 PM (jPHi7)

124 Or maybe I's just a dum dum. I dunno. ;-)

Posted by: qdpsteve at May 21, 2016 08:19 PM (ntObR)

If you're winning consistently on Level 2, you need to kick it up to Level 3 so you'll be forced to up your game in order to win.

Posted by: OregonMuse at May 21, 2016 10:26 PM (FiRoZ)

125 Gotta wake up early for CA Civil Warl

Night horde.

Posted by: RWC - Team BOHICA at May 22, 2016 12:50 AM (hlMPp)

126 I'm sure someone has gotten the second trickier mate in one by now. I saw a lot of wrong answers. I think Bh4 does the trick.

Posted by: Ironwood at May 22, 2016 03:55 PM (WLOZI)

127 Black can
drop his bishop back to b5 and prevent that from happening.

It costs black one move to do that though, doesn't it?

Posted by: Steve D at May 22, 2016 06:11 PM (HljS4)

128 White to play and win, what's wrong with bxk ch, qxb, r-e7ch. Queen is pinned, king must retreat and is lost. The first response is forced or the queen is lost anyway. What am I missing ?

Posted by: Ed Snack at May 22, 2016 11:25 PM (xdWix)

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