<s>Eight Minute Abs Seven Minute Abs Six Minute Abs </s>Are You Ready for... One Minute Abs?

Eight Minute Abs
Seven Minute Abs
Six Minute Abs
Are You Ready for... One Minute Abs?

It is now put forward that one minute of all-out exercise may deliver the benefits of 45 minutes of lower-intensity conditioning.

You know what I call one minute of intense exercise? Sex twice a day.

For many of us, the most pressing question about exercise is: How little can I get away with? The answer, according to a sophisticated new study of interval training, may be very, very little. In this new experiment, in fact, 60 seconds of strenuous exertion proved to be as successful at improving health and fitness as three-quarters of an hour of moderate exercise.
Let me repeat that finding: One minute of arduous exercise was comparable in its physiological effects to 45 minutes of gentler sweating.

They tested three groups: the control group, who did nothing; the typical conditioning regimen group, doing 45 minutes of moderate/high cardio; and a last group, which did 10 seconds warm up, 20 seconds all-out-intensity bike pedaling, ten seconds cool down, 20 seconds all-out-intensity pedaling.

Total workout time: 60 seconds. I guess maybe they did a short cooldown after.

[W]hen the scientists retested the men's aerobic fitness, muscles and blood-sugar control now, they found that the exercisers showed virtually identical gains, whether they had completed the long endurance workouts or the short, grueling intervals. In both groups, endurance had increased by nearly 20 percent, insulin resistance likewise had improved significantly, and there were significant increases in the number and function of certain microscopic structures in the men’s muscles that are related to energy production and oxygen consumption.

No but seriously: Sex takes care of that. You just have to do it once per day.

I need to find someone willing to let me put my shame inside them. For 20 seconds, then a ten second change-up slow-down, then 20 seconds to the fast finish.

Posted by: Ace at 06:01 PM

Comments

(Jump to bottom of comments)

1 What TF was that?

Posted by: Skip at April 28, 2016 05:59 PM (8BJMp)

2 Oh Shit

Posted by: Village Idiot's Apprentice at April 28, 2016 05:59 PM (ptqRm)

3 love with sex does indeed cure many ills.

Posted by: willow at April 28, 2016 05:59 PM (L1+sh)

4 Almost thought it was a secret thread, we could use another one.

Posted by: Skip at April 28, 2016 06:00 PM (8BJMp)

5 lol, 1/2 minute man?

Posted by: willow at April 28, 2016 06:00 PM (L1+sh)

6
No but seriously: Sex takes care of that. You just have to do it once per day.

Does another person have to be involved? Because let's face it, for a lot of Teh Horde that might be a problem.

Posted by: IllTemperedCur at April 28, 2016 06:01 PM (aBa0A)

7 20 seconds? Nobody likes a braggart.

Posted by: Duke Lowell at April 28, 2016 06:01 PM (kTF2Z)

8 When I first was here everything was crossed out including the comment

Posted by: Skip at April 28, 2016 06:01 PM (8BJMp)

Posted by: Bossy Conservative...pondering the future at April 28, 2016 06:02 PM (RFeQD)

10 "1 minute ab nood"

- from previous thread, made me laugh

Posted by: ghost of hallelujah at April 28, 2016 06:02 PM (dBmVV)

11 Are we including foreplay in that figure?

Cause I could maybe give this a go.

Posted by: Village Idiot's Apprentice at April 28, 2016 06:02 PM (ptqRm)

12 Ace,

Sex twice a day?

You must be a "young man", under the age of 58.

Posted by: Grampa Jimbo at April 28, 2016 06:02 PM (1ijHg)

13 Lies. With my teenage masturbation schedule, I'd be an Olympic class athlete by now.

Posted by: broseidon king of the brocean at April 28, 2016 06:03 PM (kumBu)

14 Hilarious headline, thanks.

Posted by: BruinEric at April 28, 2016 06:03 PM (XQOtG)

15 I guess maybe they did a short cooldown after.

23 hours and 59 minutes is short?

Posted by: x at April 28, 2016 06:03 PM (nFwvY)

16
Me and my trainers:

Rosie Palmer and her five sisters.

Posted by: J.J. Sefton at April 28, 2016 06:03 PM (p4UlV)

17
Who's that other guy in the clip? He was a stand up comic but I forgot his name. I don't see him around much anymore.

Posted by: Mr. Rourke at April 28, 2016 06:03 PM (T0BVJ)

18 No! No, no, I said 7. Nobody's comin' up with 6. Who works out in 6 minutes? You won't even get your heart goin, not even a mouse on a wheel. 7's the key number here. Think about it. 7-Elevens. 7 dwarves. 7, man, that's the number. 7 chipmunks twirlin' on a branch, eatin' lots of sunflowers on my uncle's ranch. You know that old children's tale from the sea. It's like you're dreamin' about Gorgonzola cheese when it's clearly Brie time, baby.

Posted by: Josephistan at April 28, 2016 06:04 PM (7qAYi)

19 Sex for 60 SECONDS???

In a row???

What am I, Superman?

Posted by: Kasichs NeckWattle at April 28, 2016 06:04 PM (QX0Xt)

20 One minute abs? (hic)

Why, I play golf all day long, with a couple of tall boys out on the course, and some High Balls and Manhattens at the clubhouse. (hic)

Never felt better.

'thud'

Hey, Lucifer made me fall over like that!

Posted by: John Boehner, golf enthusiast at April 28, 2016 06:04 PM (RFeQD)

21 Bowflex has been advertising a machine that uses that same regimen. All out intensity, then a rest time, then repeat. A fifteen minute workout.

Posted by: Old Blue at April 28, 2016 06:04 PM (9iR5/)

22 "You know what I call one minute of intense exercise? Sex twice a day."
At least both hands get a little bit of work...

Posted by: astonerii at April 28, 2016 06:04 PM (o/DjS)

23 All cardio, no weights? How do they measure health and fitness?

Posted by: scoville at April 28, 2016 06:04 PM (0adl+)

24 I need to find someone willing to let me put my shame inside them. For 20 seconds, then a ten second change-up slow-down, then 20 seconds to the fast finish.

--

Paging jwest

Posted by: @votermom at April 28, 2016 06:05 PM (nbrY/)

25

My common sense instincts as well my limited knowledge of exercise tells me this study is deeply flawed.

Posted by: Mr. Rourke at April 28, 2016 06:05 PM (T0BVJ)

26 As long as it doesn't get in the way of my smoking habit?

https://youtu.be/GufMv9SAu7g?t=21

Posted by: 13times at April 28, 2016 06:05 PM (WHVu+)

27 I'm a Minuteman, baby...

Posted by: Citizen Cake at April 28, 2016 06:05 PM (ppaKI)

28 bs

it is all part of obamas plan to shift the demographics by giving destructive information to literate people.

Posted by: yankeefifth at April 28, 2016 06:05 PM (vb33c)

29 re 20: never heard of the man

Posted by: Satan of Charles Gibson at April 28, 2016 06:06 PM (qSIlh)

30 On a mildy related note:

Buy 1 dozen, get another dozen free of Krispy Kreme glazed donuts today.
http://krispykreme.com/heroday

Have something to work off of those abs!

Posted by: ReactionaryMonster Bravely supporting kittens at April 28, 2016 06:06 PM (uURQL)

31
12 oz abs.

Posted by: wth at April 28, 2016 06:06 PM (HgMAr)

32 So skip the long runs in favor of interval training and then hit the weights. Got it.

Posted by: Colorado Alex at April 28, 2016 06:07 PM (LUG6K)

33
Six Pack Flabs.

Posted by: J.J. Sefton at April 28, 2016 06:07 PM (p4UlV)

34 " All cardio, no weights? How do they measure health and fitness?

Posted by: scoville at April 28, 2016 06:04 PM (0adl+) "

Indeed. 60 seconds of strenuous work may help your overall fitness level, but it won't net you any sick gains, bruh.

Posted by: broseidon king of the brocean at April 28, 2016 06:07 PM (kumBu)

35 Will furious masturbation suffice?

Posted by: steevy at April 28, 2016 06:07 PM (B48dK)

36 I'm standing right here...

Posted by: Bull rider at April 28, 2016 06:08 PM (uUhhd)

37 So, does it have to be with a partner? If not, there are many very fit morons here.

Posted by: Tilikum KAW at April 28, 2016 06:08 PM (+aCe4)

38
Does another person have to be involved? Because let's face it, for a lot of Teh Horde that might be a problem.
Posted by: IllTemperedCur at April 28, 2016 06:01 PM (aBa0A)

LOL

Posted by: washrivergal at April 28, 2016 06:08 PM (CFc5L)

39 I need to find someone willing to let me put my shame inside them. For
20 seconds, then a ten second change-up slow-down, then 20 seconds to
the fast finish.

Give Lena Dunham a call. I'll bet she'd give you a work out.

*runs*

Posted by: Jane D'oh at April 28, 2016 06:08 PM (FsuaD)

40 This thread is a group cry for help.

Posted by: MTF at April 28, 2016 06:08 PM (/m8T6)

41 You know what I call one minute of intense exercise? Sex twice a day.

So THAT's what my ex-wife meant when she said she was 'going out to the gym.'

Posted by: Kasichs NeckWattle at April 28, 2016 06:08 PM (QX0Xt)

42
u mirin', brah?

Posted by: Mr. Rourke at April 28, 2016 06:09 PM (T0BVJ)

43 If I exercise intensely for 20 seconds I'll drop my chalupa.

Posted by: Kasichs NeckWattle at April 28, 2016 06:09 PM (QX0Xt)

44 You know what I call one minute of intense exercise? Sex twice a day.

********

That'll keep the girls coming,

Posted by: Biden Is In The Ball Pit at April 28, 2016 06:09 PM (mcm0N)

45 It's business time.

Posted by: Lauren at April 28, 2016 06:09 PM (6GBZO)

46 careful or you'll get carpal tunnel syndrome

Posted by: wth at April 28, 2016 06:09 PM (HgMAr)

47 "Will furious masturbation suffice?"

Who in the hell masturbates when they're angry?

Smile......
Feel the love.

Posted by: Village Idiot's Apprentice at April 28, 2016 06:09 PM (ptqRm)

48 Ace, do we get a podcast tomorrow?

By the way, Ms. Flappy McArmfat O'Screamy says she's available to accept your shame.

Posted by: chique d'afrique at April 28, 2016 06:09 PM (6bMel)

49 You know what I call one minute of intense exercise? Sex twice a day.

Who knew Ewoks were that frisky?

Posted by: BlaxPac at April 28, 2016 06:09 PM (tL0rn)

50 I'm down with 3 times a day, ace

Posted by: TrigglyPuff at April 28, 2016 06:10 PM (uUhhd)

51 All out intensity, then a rest time, then repeat.

Spazzercise!

Posted by: wooga at April 28, 2016 06:10 PM (fnK0F)

52 35 Will furious masturbation suffice?
Posted by: steevy at April 28, 2016 06:07 PM (B48dK)

I saw Furious Masturbation open for Josie and the Pussycats every Saturday morning at 8 on CBS in 1972.

Posted by: J.J. Sefton at April 28, 2016 06:10 PM (p4UlV)

53 This is actually no surprise....

This is MEN's fitness, which is all about levels of Testosterone.

Hard fast workouts of major muscle groups helps build testosterone faster than aerobic exercise.

Posted by: Don Q. at April 28, 2016 06:10 PM (qf6WZ)

54 This thread is a group cry for help.

Posted by: MTF

Help! I've fallen and I can't get up! (hic)

Posted by: John Boehner, golf enthusiast at April 28, 2016 06:11 PM (RFeQD)

55
All out intensity, then a rest time, then repeat.

Spazzercise!

Posted by: wooga at April 28, 2016 06:10 PM (fnK0F)

*snort*

Posted by: IllTemperedCur at April 28, 2016 06:11 PM (aBa0A)

56 Ace, have you tried Prancersize?

Posted by: Jane D'oh at April 28, 2016 06:11 PM (FsuaD)

57 Strenuous yard work is also good. And you see results right away.

Posted by: washrivergal at April 28, 2016 06:11 PM (CFc5L)

58 "By the way, Ms. Flappy McArmfat O'Screamy says she's available to accept your shame."

You mean Roz?

http://quotesgram.com/monsters-inc-roz-quotes/

Posted by: Village Idiot's Apprentice at April 28, 2016 06:12 PM (ptqRm)

59
So this is Jizzercise?

Posted by: IllTemperedCur at April 28, 2016 06:12 PM (aBa0A)

60 Beat it like it owes you money,twice a day.

Posted by: steevy at April 28, 2016 06:12 PM (B48dK)

61 Oh wow. Beaten to the joke multiple times. Guess I should have read...

Posted by: Tilikum KAW at April 28, 2016 06:12 PM (m3iiU)

62 Thanks for that visual. I hate you now.

*Chugs grain alcohol*

Posted by: Duke Lowell at April 28, 2016 06:12 PM (kTF2Z)

63
Indeed. 60 seconds of strenuous work may help your overall fitness level, but it won't net you any sick gains, bruh.
Posted by: broseidon king of the brocean at April 28, 2016 06:07 PM (kumBu)

No agony, no brag-ony!

Posted by: Josephistan at April 28, 2016 06:13 PM (7qAYi)

64 Hard fast workouts of major muscle groups helps build testosterone faster than aerobic exercise.

Posted by: Don Q

We're going to be building some really great testosterone in the next four years! It's gonna be YUGE and really luxurious!

Posted by: Donald Trump at April 28, 2016 06:13 PM (RFeQD)

65 The talk about a 60 second sex act reminds me of a joke. Why do women fake orgasm? They think we care.

Posted by: obnoxious ahole at April 28, 2016 06:13 PM (MpvuV)

66 "I saw Furious Masturbation open for Josie and the Pussycats every Saturday morning at 8 on CBS in 1972.

Posted by: J.J. Sefton at April 28, 2016 06:10 PM (p4UlV)"
Too funny. I am a little older than you. By the time of Josie and the Pussycats, I was too old for that shit.I did like George of the Jungle though.

Posted by: Grampa Jimbo at April 28, 2016 06:13 PM (1ijHg)

67 56 Ace, have you tried Prancersize?
Posted by: Jane D'oh at April 28, 2016 06:11 PM (FsuaD)

Ve tried Panzer-cise back in the 40s. It vas not vell received.

Posted by: Wehrmacht at April 28, 2016 06:14 PM (7qAYi)

68 This is a job for:

SJW BLOB GIRL

Her partners finish in 60 seconds not out of passion but out of fear.

Posted by: Ghost of kari - certified sidebar at April 28, 2016 06:14 PM (wOKJp)

69 Some of Zip's links are just laugh inducing.

http://www.weaselzippers.us/?p=268866

Posted by: Village Idiot's Apprentice at April 28, 2016 06:14 PM (ptqRm)

70
Ever notice there are a handful of commenters who only comment in the Trump or Cruz threads? They never participate in the non-Trump or non-Cruz threads such as this one or the economy thread below.

Those are the bad apples.

Posted by: Mr. Rourke at April 28, 2016 06:14 PM (T0BVJ)

71 Strenuous yard work is also good. And you see results right away.---------washrivergal

Yeah, that's called throwing up.

Posted by: Tilikum KAW at April 28, 2016 06:14 PM (m3iiU)

72 So where's that Pete guy?

Posted by: Bertram Cabot Jr. at April 28, 2016 06:15 PM (k4M/B)

73 I think you have to find a partner or at least a blow-up doll.

Posted by: Margarita DeVille at April 28, 2016 06:15 PM (T/5A0)

74 The way most of you guys do sex to yourselves--it probably doesn't equate to the full body one minute experience of the sprinters--or whatever.

Posted by: Biden Is In The Ball Pit at April 28, 2016 06:15 PM (mcm0N)

75 Joke time? I heard this from a friend from Sicilian descent.

"Why do Italian men like to wear mustaches?"

"To look like their mothers."

Posted by: Grampa Jimbo at April 28, 2016 06:16 PM (1ijHg)

76 Copy&paste fail. FML

Posted by: Duke Lowell at April 28, 2016 06:16 PM (kTF2Z)

77 10 "1 minute ab nood"

- from previous thread, made me laugh
Posted by: ghost of hallelujah at April 28, 2016 06:02 PM (dBmVV)

I sat there in the other thread for a while trying to figure out what this Welsh sentence meant in English.

I really should start drinking again.

Posted by: filbert at April 28, 2016 06:16 PM (s5o+q)

78 Someone asked Jenna Jameson what work out she did and she said I have lots of sex.

Just. You know. Mentioning that.

Posted by: alexthechick - Love and despair bitches at April 28, 2016 06:16 PM (dEQP3)

79 Yeah, that's called throwing up.
Posted by: Tilikum KAW at April 28, 2016 06:14 PM (m3iiU)

Not to get too personal but why would you throw up?

Posted by: washrivergal at April 28, 2016 06:16 PM (CFc5L)

80
Nothing new really. the interval training is sometimes called Tabata exercises. and it does work, if you don't die of a heart attack while trying to get your sack of blubber up to 100% of maximum effort. Which brings up another good question, how do you determine what 100% is?
Where do they stick the meter in to measure that?

Posted by: Put that kid back where it came from or So Help Me at April 28, 2016 06:16 PM (HPNqc)

81 think how much you gain/lose if you actually put some Effort into it.

Posted by: willow at April 28, 2016 06:17 PM (L1+sh)

82 If you're not ambidextrous you'll end up looking like a fiddler crab.

Posted by: Bertram Cabot Jr. at April 28, 2016 06:17 PM (k4M/B)

83 think how much you gain/lose if you actually put some Effort into it.

Is that what the kids call it these days?

Posted by: ReactionaryMonster Bravely supporting kittens at April 28, 2016 06:17 PM (uURQL)

84 btw, the sponsor for "George of the Jungle" was H R Block.

They knew their audience.

Posted by: Grampa Jimbo at April 28, 2016 06:17 PM (1ijHg)

85 70
Ever notice there are a handful of commenters who only comment in the Trump or Cruz threads? They never participate in the non-Trump or non-Cruz threads such as this one or the economy thread below.

Those are the bad apples.
Posted by: Mr. Rourke at April 28, 2016 06:14 PM (T0BVJ)

----------------

I've noticed that too.

Posted by: Duke Lowell at April 28, 2016 06:17 PM (kTF2Z)

86 Hey, AtC. Guess what I found at Publix?

Breyer's orangesicle ice cream.

Guess what I have in my freezer right now?

*smug smile*

Posted by: Jane D'oh at April 28, 2016 06:18 PM (FsuaD)

87 I saw Furious Masturbation open for Josie and the Pussycats every Saturday morning at 8 on CBS in 1972.

Posted by: J.J. Sefton at April 28, 2016 06:10 PM (p4UlV)

I heard they kept getting up in front of J & the P's but could never finish in time.

Posted by: filbert at April 28, 2016 06:18 PM (s5o+q)

88 >>Too funny. I am a little older than you. By the time of Josie and the Pussycats, I was too old for that shit.I did like George of the Jungle though.

Not for the exercise I hope. Not that there's anything wrong with that.

Posted by: JackStraw at April 28, 2016 06:18 PM (/tuJf)

89
#66:
You masturbated to George of the Jungle?
I know Bella and Ursula stayed in step and all, but dang. your easy.

Posted by: Put that kid back where it came from or So Help Me at April 28, 2016 06:18 PM (HPNqc)

90 reactionary, i just don't get the sex/make love thing on a string budget. that's all.

Posted by: willow at April 28, 2016 06:19 PM (L1+sh)

91 Some of you probably put more effort into grinding one out on the toilet--and you are going to be found dead in the "John".

Posted by: Biden Is In The Ball Pit at April 28, 2016 06:19 PM (mcm0N)

92 my wife and I have an agreement: no smoking except after sex.

I haven't had a smoke in six years, my wife is up to two cartons a week.

Posted by: Rodney Dangerfield at April 28, 2016 06:19 PM (qSIlh)

93 Hey, AtC. Guess what I found at Publix?

Breyer's orangesicle ice cream.

Guess what I have in my freezer right now?

*smug smile*
Posted by: Jane D'oh at April 28, 2016 06:18 PM (FsuaD)

Oooooooohhhhhhhh.

Posted by: alexthechick - Love and despair bitches at April 28, 2016 06:19 PM (dEQP3)

94 Mark Twain wrote some interesting things about Polyamory.

A woman can service many, many men.

In fact, some have historically made a business of it.

Posted by: Grampa Jimbo at April 28, 2016 06:19 PM (1ijHg)

95 I imagine if I threw a pork chop in the middle of the floor and fought the dog for it, it would be pretty good exercise.

Posted by: Margarita DeVille at April 28, 2016 06:19 PM (T/5A0)

96 17
Who's that other guy in the clip? He was a stand up comic but I forgot his name. I don't see him around much anymore.

Posted by: Mr. Rourke at April 28, 2016 06:03 PM (T0BVJ)

++++

Harland Williams. He was also the state trooper who drank from the piss filled beer bottles in Dumb and Dumber.

Posted by: Anon Y. Mous at April 28, 2016 06:20 PM (R+30W)

97 This is a job for:

SJW BLOB GIRL

Her partners finish in 60 seconds not out of passion but out of fear.
Posted by: Ghost of kari - certified sidebar at April 28, 2016 06:14 PM (wOKJp)

Not fear.

Horror.

Posted by: filbert at April 28, 2016 06:20 PM (s5o+q)

98 i have never understood porn

Posted by: willow at April 28, 2016 06:20 PM (L1+sh)

99 55

All out intensity, then a rest time, then repeat.

Spazzercise!

Posted by: wooga at April 28, 2016 06:10 PM (fnK0F)

Sooooo, I can get ripped by dropping a hungry gerbil down my pants twice a day?

Posted by: pep at April 28, 2016 06:20 PM (LAe3v)

100 Creamsicle? a 50-50 bar?

Happy you.

Posted by: Grampa Jimbo at April 28, 2016 06:20 PM (1ijHg)

101
Josie and the Pussycats had two versions. The original and two years later Josie and the Pussycats in Outer Space.

Posted by: Mr. Rourke at April 28, 2016 06:20 PM (T0BVJ)

102 Here's the deal, after deciding to get into shape so I can do spartan races, improving from the Sprint to now being able to do Beasts and Super Beasts here are the things I learned.

You have to commit, which means 24/7/365.

You're on 90pct of the time, meaning your exercising every day wherever and whenever you can.

You're diet has to be adhered to 90pct of the time.

Get yourself a fitbit and set hourly reminders to move or do something no matter where you are.

The buzzer goes off, you bang out 20 air squats.

The buzzer goes off you bang out 20 pushups.

The buzzer goes off take a short walk around your office.

Drink water, lots of it.

You want one exercise to focus on?

Do a plank hold twice a day once before you go to bed and once when you get up.

In the beginning you may be able to hold it for a minute, do it till you build up to 5-10 minutes.

Do burpees, lots of them.

Get a couch-to-5k app and hit the streets, it really does work.

Remember, only you can build a better you.

No excuses.

SPARTAN THE FUCK UP!

Posted by: Kreplach at April 28, 2016 06:21 PM (WVvzl)

103 Before my right knee gave out, I would do three miles of power walking every day. The walking was interspersed with 15 seconds of running. Sounds weird, but it was a great workout.

Posted by: Jane D'oh at April 28, 2016 06:21 PM (FsuaD)

104 You know what I call one minute of intense exercise? Sex twice a day.

I need to find someone willing to let me put my shame inside them. For 20 seconds, then a ten second change-up slow-down, then 20 seconds to the fast finish.
----------------------

Your math is not adding up. It should be 10 seconds, then a 5 second change-up slow-down, then 10 seconds to the fast finish to a 5 second cool down. Twice a day.

Your welcome.

Posted by: MATH BITCH at April 28, 2016 06:21 PM (/So8Q)

105 i like the milky cream orangesickles. looks in Jane's freezer.

Posted by: willow at April 28, 2016 06:21 PM (L1+sh)

106 Just heard on Special Report:

Teen pregnancies are down. The CDC says, and no shit this is what they said, it may be due to decreased sexual activity.

Posted by: Duke Lowell at April 28, 2016 06:22 PM (kTF2Z)

107 "Watching porn is like watching people eat."

A wise comment made by a colleague many, many years ago.

So true.

Posted by: Grampa Jimbo at April 28, 2016 06:22 PM (1ijHg)

108 "i have never understood porn"

It's not like it's rocket science.

Posted by: Village Idiot's Apprentice at April 28, 2016 06:22 PM (ptqRm)

109 "Nothing new really. the interval training is sometimes called Tabata exercises. and it does work, if you don't die of a heart attack while trying to get your sack of blubber up to 100% of maximum effort. Which brings up another good question, how do you determine what 100% is?
Where do they stick the meter in to measure that?

Posted by: Put that kid back where it came from or So Help Me at April 28, 2016 06:16 PM (HPNqc) "

Usually based on a theoretical max heart rate - 220 or 215 minus your age. Which obviously isn't really correct, but it's meant to be a ballpark figure. If you're usually around "100%" at your max effort, that's good enough. But even Tabatas aren't only a minute - usually more like 6 or 8 minutes from my experience.

Posted by: broseidon king of the brocean at April 28, 2016 06:22 PM (kumBu)

110 re 94: according to a college term paper I once typed for a woman I knew, that's almost the norm in Tibet. No dividing the farm from generation to generation, all the brothers are technically the father of all the sons the one wife has, so the sons all inherit and repeat.

Posted by: Satan of Rodney Dangherfield at April 28, 2016 06:22 PM (qSIlh)

111 Your welcome.

Posted by: MATH BITCH

You're

Posted by: Grammar Bitch at April 28, 2016 06:22 PM (LAe3v)

112 102 You have your plan and I have mine...

Posted by: steevy at April 28, 2016 06:22 PM (B48dK)

113 7 minute crabs to the next lucky fella.

Posted by: Lena Dunatethewholeham at April 28, 2016 06:22 PM (CUk0C)

114 100
Creamsicle? a 50-50 bar?

Happy you.

Posted by: Grampa Jimbo at April 28, 2016 06:20 PM (1ijHg)

It's ice cream in a tub.

Posted by: Jane D'oh at April 28, 2016 06:23 PM (FsuaD)

115 Crap! We're dead.

Posted by: IsMishe at April 28, 2016 06:23 PM (2WiEX)

116 Teen pregnancies are down. The CDC says, and no shit this is what they said, it may be due to decreased sexual activity.

Posted by: Duke Lowell

OTOH, Hairy Palm Syndrome is skyrocketing.

Posted by: pep at April 28, 2016 06:23 PM (LAe3v)

117 The sun refuses to come out today so no yard exercise for me. Another bad thing, no one planted any pistachio ice cream in my freezer.

Posted by: washrivergal at April 28, 2016 06:23 PM (CFc5L)

118 VIA, kinda wrecks the whole make love thing. no one can compete , but many would love to have their real time lovers back.

Posted by: willow at April 28, 2016 06:23 PM (L1+sh)

119 115 Crap! We're dead.
Posted by: IsMishe at April 28, 2016 06:23 PM (2WiEX)

Bummer. I was gonna make steak stir-fry, too.

Posted by: filbert at April 28, 2016 06:23 PM (s5o+q)

120 It takes 20 minutes for my generic Viagra from North Korea to kick in, 20 minutes to comb the Backpage ads for my special friend, 20 minutes to do the introductions and then get it on and the last 20 minutes for clean up and good byes and see you next month honey.

I can't get all that done in 1 minute so I'm sticking with the 80.

Posted by: Hairyback Guy at April 28, 2016 06:24 PM (ej1L0)

121 >>I need to find someone willing to let me put my shame inside them.

I'm your huckleberry.

Posted by: Fat Bastard's Fatter Sister at April 28, 2016 06:24 PM (c7vUv)

122 Ha, I knew I'd smoke you out, Grammar bitch.

Posted by: MATH BITCH at April 28, 2016 06:24 PM (/So8Q)

123 I get it now. Those ISIS idiots in the sidebar were really just trying to get buff. Run away, run away!

Posted by: pep at April 28, 2016 06:24 PM (LAe3v)

124 OTOH, Hairy Palm Syndrome is skyrocketing.

Posted by: pep at April 28, 2016 06:23 PM (LAe3v)

Tell me about it..My barber is FURIOUS at me.

Posted by: BlaxPac at April 28, 2016 06:24 PM (tL0rn)

125
You know what I call one minute of intense exercise? Sex twice a day.
..................

So where do you keep the robot the other 23 hours and 59 minutes a day?

Posted by: wth at April 28, 2016 06:24 PM (HgMAr)

126 It occurs to me that another way to get intense muscle contraction would be for somebody to shoot you with a taser every day. Also good for building up your wind and endurance would be running away from a guy who will shoot you with a taser if he gets close enough.

Posted by: obnoxious ahole at April 28, 2016 06:25 PM (MpvuV)

127 I carry winter weight and lose it in the spring when I can get outside and move around working. On the dot every year. When that stops, I'll have to do something else, but I'm good with it for now.

Posted by: jsg at April 28, 2016 06:25 PM (uUhhd)

128 "Watching porn is like watching people eat."

I usually tell some of Little VIA's college friends that their opinions on life are sort of like a teenager watching porn, and thinking he's an expert in bed.

Soo much of what they know is purely theoretical.

Posted by: Village Idiot's Apprentice at April 28, 2016 06:25 PM (ptqRm)

129 107 "Watching porn is like watching people eat."

But with boobs. And points south.

Posted by: Wehrmacht at April 28, 2016 06:25 PM (7qAYi)

130 Teen pregnancies are down.

More guys are gay than ever before.

Posted by: Grampa Jimbo at April 28, 2016 06:25 PM (1ijHg)

131
Jabberjaw was about a teen band and their talking shark friend's zany under-sea adventures.

Not to be confused with Misterjaw of the Pink Panther show.

Posted by: Mr. Rourke at April 28, 2016 06:25 PM (T0BVJ)

132 The other term you might see is HIIT - High Intensity Interval Training. And it definitely works - 15 minutes of high intensity is probably more beneficial than an hour of jogging. But as always, the media message distorts the picture - if you tell someone they only need to exercise for 60 seconds a day, you're not really telling them the truth.

Posted by: broseidon king of the brocean at April 28, 2016 06:25 PM (kumBu)

133 Off to prepare baked pork chops for the husband. (And hide the orange creamsicle ice cream in the back of the freezer.)

Posted by: Jane D'oh at April 28, 2016 06:26 PM (FsuaD)

134 Teen pregnancies are down. The CDC says, and no shit this is what they said, it may be due to decreased sexual activity.
Posted by: Duke Lowell at April 28, 2016 06:22 PM (kTF2Z)

Scientists say we should beware mistaking correlation with causation.

Posted by: ReactionaryMonster Bravely supporting kittens at April 28, 2016 06:26 PM (uURQL)

135 Magilla Gorilla and Grape Ape.

Posted by: steevy at April 28, 2016 06:26 PM (B48dK)

136 Jane, that is just cruel.

Posted by: willow at April 28, 2016 06:26 PM (L1+sh)

137 Not to get too personal but why would you throw up?------washrivergal

Just being silly. Vigorous yardwork, vigorous exercise, watching CNN....hurl

Posted by: Tilikum KAW at April 28, 2016 06:26 PM (m3iiU)

138 Teen pregnancies are down. The CDC says, and no shit this is what they said, it may be due to decreased sexual activities

Fox Butterfield pronounces himself "mystified".

Posted by: pep at April 28, 2016 06:27 PM (LAe3v)

139 NBC Nightly news is covering Ace's one minute workout.

Posted by: Village Idiot's Apprentice at April 28, 2016 06:27 PM (ptqRm)

140 But as always, the media message distorts the picture - if you tell
someone they only need to exercise for 60 seconds a day, you're not
really telling them the truth.

Hey! We're The New York Fucking Times!

Posted by: The New York Fucking Times at April 28, 2016 06:27 PM (YFFpo)

141
Atom Ant.
Secret Squirrel.

Posted by: Mr. Rourke at April 28, 2016 06:27 PM (T0BVJ)

142 136
Jane, that is just cruel.

Posted by: willow at April 28, 2016 06:26 PM (L1+sh)

He'll thank me later.

Posted by: Jane D'oh at April 28, 2016 06:28 PM (FsuaD)

143 >>Guess what I have in my freezer right now?

*smug smile*
Posted by: Jane D'oh

A dead hobo?

Posted by: Aviator at April 28, 2016 06:28 PM (c7vUv)

144
Yes Bro,
My Trainer set me up on a 18 minutes door-to-door plan:
2 minute warm up
4 minute tabata set
4 minute rest
4 minute tabata
4 minute cool down.
Now, health concerns make this a not so smart thing to do these days (Ain't he dead yet??) but I did do them a few years ago.

Posted by: Put that kid back where it came from or So Help Me at April 28, 2016 06:28 PM (HPNqc)

145 Someone asked Jenna Jameson what work out she did and she said I have lots of sex.

Just. You know. Mentioning that.

Posted by: alexthechick - Love and despair bitches at April 28, 2016 06:16 PM (dEQP3)
She should open a gym. The machines are a little scary people really come for the group classes.

Posted by: Colorado Alex at April 28, 2016 06:28 PM (LUG6K)

146 Jane, heh, he will.

Posted by: willow at April 28, 2016 06:28 PM (L1+sh)

147 i have never understood porn
Posted by: willow at April 28, 2016 06:20 PM (L1+sh)

Starving people fantasize about food.

Sex deprived people fantasize about sex.

Posted by: ReactionaryMonster Bravely supporting kittens at April 28, 2016 06:28 PM (uURQL)

148 Booyah! I get this kind of workout before my first cup of coffee while sitting on the crapper.

Posted by: Fritz at April 28, 2016 06:28 PM (51YEm)

149 One minute of burpees will make you barf and cry.

Posted by: Max Power at April 28, 2016 06:28 PM (QCc6B)

150 Then there was my older brother who wanted to publish one of those little books that you can buy at the check-out of the Supermarket.

"The water-diet"

"Jump into 50 degree water. stay there for at least 5 minutes. Burn calories through heat dissipation."

It would have been a short book.

Posted by: Grampa Jimbo at April 28, 2016 06:29 PM (1ijHg)

151 Your math is not adding up. It should be 10 seconds, then a 5 second change-up slow-down, then 10 seconds to the fast finish to a 5 second cool down. Twice a day.

Your welcome.
Posted by: MATH BITCH at April 28, 2016 06:21 PM (/So8Q)

**********

LOL! Oh snap.

Posted by: Biden Is In The Ball Pit at April 28, 2016 06:29 PM (mcm0N)

152 >>NBC Nightly news is covering Ace's one minute workout.

NBA is doing a piece on ace spanking his monkey?

Gross.

Posted by: JackStraw at April 28, 2016 06:29 PM (/tuJf)

153 Of course, check with your doctor to make sure your heart is healthy enough for sex. And those pesky + 4 hour erections... don't put em to use guys, cause blisters.

Posted by: kraken at April 28, 2016 06:30 PM (zuTLp)

154 149 One minute of burpees will make you barf and cry.
Posted by: Max Power at April 28, 2016 06:28 PM (QCc6B)

Well you're supposed to plant the seeds & wait for the damn crops to grow first.

Posted by: Josephistan at April 28, 2016 06:30 PM (7qAYi)

155 Ace, have you tried Prancersize?

Posted by: Jane D'oh at April 28, 2016 06:11 PM (FsuaD)

I'll just leave this here:

https://youtu.be/565tXd1UyYI

Posted by: Country Singer at April 28, 2016 06:30 PM (GUBah)

156 >>NBC Nightly news is covering Ace's one minute workout.

NBA is doing a piece on ace spanking his monkey?

Gross.
Posted by: JackStraw at April 28, 2016 06:29 PM (/tuJf)

Ewok sex documentary?

Posted by: ReactionaryMonster Bravely supporting kittens at April 28, 2016 06:30 PM (uURQL)

157 Just being silly. Vigorous yardwork, vigorous exercise, watching CNN....hurl
Posted by: Tilikum KAW at April 28, 2016 06:26 PM (m3iiU)

The last time I watched CNN was when Anderson Cooper was covering the truck bomb incident around Times Square. The were looking for suspect and happened upon some guy changing his shirt on the sidewalk. Cooper kept saying that it's got to be him, and saying "Looks like our suspect is a WHITE MALE" over and over again like he was wetting his pants over it. The end of CNN.

Posted by: washrivergal at April 28, 2016 06:31 PM (CFc5L)

158 Reactionary , i've observed that some people are deprived of actual lovemaking because they exhausted their one minute of fun to porn.

Posted by: willow at April 28, 2016 06:31 PM (L1+sh)

159 Dancing is the best exercise. Or was.

Posted by: the artist formerly known as alive at April 28, 2016 06:31 PM (HgMAr)

160 I hate to rain on the parade, but PLOS is a POS journal. They have 6000 "editors" with no specialization. All it takes to get published there is one editor. It's one notch above self-publishing.

Posted by: Y-not (@moxiemom) at April 28, 2016 06:31 PM (t5zYU)

161 There's a bit of truth to the porn = watching people eat analogy.

On the other hand, no matter how long I watch other people eat, it won't make my stomach full. So there is a difference.

Posted by: broseidon king of the brocean at April 28, 2016 06:32 PM (kumBu)

162
Ewok sex documentary?
Posted by: ReactionaryMonster Bravely supporting kittens at April 28, 2016 06:30 PM (uURQL)

Yub-yub!

Posted by: Josephistan at April 28, 2016 06:32 PM (7qAYi)

163 Reactionary , i've observed that some people are deprived of actual lovemaking because they exhausted their one minute of fun to porn.
Posted by: willow at April 28, 2016 06:31 PM (L1+sh)

Addictions will do that. Pleasurable self-harm.

Posted by: ReactionaryMonster Bravely supporting kittens at April 28, 2016 06:32 PM (uURQL)

164 You know what I call one minute of intense exercise? Sex twice a day.

hahahahahahahahahaah I love it !!!!!

Posted by: James Douglas at April 28, 2016 06:32 PM (blnJH)

165 Ever notice there are a handful of commenters who only comment in the Trump or Cruz threads? They never participate in the non-Trump or non-Cruz threads such as this one or the economy thread below.

Those are the bad apples.
Posted by: Mr. Rourke at April 28, 2016 06:14 PM (T0BVJ)

So the good ones talk about sex, poop, and/or orangesicles?

Preferably not all at the same time, though, I should say, IMHO.

NTTAWWT.

Posted by: filbert at April 28, 2016 06:32 PM (s5o+q)

166 true.

Posted by: willow at April 28, 2016 06:32 PM (L1+sh)

167 If only Abu Haajar knew about this, he might still be alive.

Posted by: tu3031 at April 28, 2016 06:34 PM (YFFpo)

168
So the good ones talk about sex, poop, and/or orangesicles?

And politics.

Otherwise it seems like there's a specific agenda.

Posted by: Mr. Rourke at April 28, 2016 06:34 PM (T0BVJ)

169 So the good ones talk about sex, poop, and/or orangesicles?

And politics.

Otherwise it seems like there's a specific agenda.
Posted by: Mr. Rourke at April 28, 2016 06:34 PM (T0BVJ)

Our politics is in dire need of moar orangesicles. This seems obvious.

Posted by: filbert at April 28, 2016 06:35 PM (s5o+q)

170 No wonder HIIT is so popular these days. You can HIIT it and quit it.

Posted by: no good deed at April 28, 2016 06:35 PM (GgxVX)

171 Also If you want to get the best bang for your buck of exercising without exercising go hiking.

Hiking at elevation is even better.

Posted by: Kreplach at April 28, 2016 06:36 PM (WVvzl)

172 The Teen Angels really did not have the bodies of teens IYKWIMAITTYD.

Posted by: Banana Splits Guy at April 28, 2016 06:36 PM (ej28x)

173 "I need to find someone willing to let me put my shame inside them."

Uh..oh, the chicken better run. NOW!

Posted by: Watch Out Chicken at April 28, 2016 06:36 PM (/So8Q)

174 I thought poop was sex.

Posted by: Don Lemon at April 28, 2016 06:36 PM (HgMAr)

175 So the progression is... exercise begets sex begets porn and down to poop and orangesicles. And people wonder why we love it here....

Posted by: kraken at April 28, 2016 06:36 PM (zuTLp)

176 It's not the "one minute sex" that's the workout.

No, it's the forty-five minutes of begging that passes as "foreplay". That's what wears ya down.

Jim
Sunk New Dawn
Galveston, TX

Posted by: Jim at April 28, 2016 06:36 PM (McRlu)

177 "I need to find someone willing to let me put my shame inside them."
========

Let's talk.

Posted by: DC Barry at April 28, 2016 06:37 PM (7Kbxu)

178 As Woody Allen would say, don't knock masturbation. It's sex with someone I love.

Of course, Woody Allen also said "Damn, my step-daughter is foxy." So not all of his wisdom was sound.

Posted by: broseidon king of the brocean at April 28, 2016 06:37 PM (kumBu)

179 BRB, off to do some high intensity interval training.

Posted by: no good deed at April 28, 2016 06:37 PM (GgxVX)

180 re 161: no, watching someone else eat when you're hungry will do you no good. I suspect that for a lot of guys, an important part of the joy of doing... it while watching porn is that the guy can say to himself, "look that girl... in high school she wouldn't have given me the time of day and now look what she's doing."

Posted by: Satan of Rodney Dangherfield at April 28, 2016 06:38 PM (qSIlh)

181 I'm a control group.

Posted by: Weasel at April 28, 2016 06:38 PM (e3bId)

182 SPARTAN THE FUCK UP!

-------------

Yeah, no.

*Slurps beer*

*Munches on chili dog*

Posted by: Duke Lowell at April 28, 2016 06:38 PM (kTF2Z)

183 jim, up the ante to at least quadruple , maybe begging will be lessened.

Posted by: willow at April 28, 2016 06:38 PM (L1+sh)

184 Posted by: Kreplach at April 28, 2016 06:21 PM (WVvzl)

I might try the plank hold thing

Posted by: @votermom at April 28, 2016 06:38 PM (nbrY/)

185 Sex takes care of that. You just have to do it once per day.

I'm in like Flynn.

Posted by: Sandra Flook at April 28, 2016 06:39 PM (Dwehj)

186 >>I need to find someone willing to let me put my shame inside them.

Great, so you get your sixty seconds of exercise.

You're still going to need an hour or so for post-coital remorse and questioning your life choices.

Posted by: Bandersnatch at April 28, 2016 06:39 PM (1xUj/)

187 Posted by: Kreplach at April 28, 2016 06:36 PM (WVvzl
Hiking uphill is hard. I'm basically lazy.

Posted by: CaliGirl at April 28, 2016 06:39 PM (egOGm)

188
Interesting thing about the Teen Angels was the brunette, Brenda, was the daffy character and the blonde, Taffy, was a smart one. The black Teen Angel, Dee Dee, was the smartest and the leader.

Posted by: Mr. Rourke at April 28, 2016 06:40 PM (T0BVJ)

189 I'm a control group.

I'm a placebo.

Posted by: Michael Moore at April 28, 2016 06:40 PM (Dwehj)

190 After meeting with union negotiators Thursday, Verizon bumped up its proposed wage increase for 36,000 striking workers, from 6.5 percent over three years to 7.5 percent, calling the proposal its last, best and final offer.

But the unions representing the strikers, including 4,800 in New Jersey, rejected the proposal

Hey assholes the Military is only getting 1.6% ...better check your Civilian Privilege I'd say

Posted by: Nevergiveup at April 28, 2016 06:40 PM (Ozsfq)

191 Do burpees, lots of them.

What is a burpee-aside from the seeds or something to do with indigestion?

Posted by: FenelonSpoke at April 28, 2016 06:41 PM (w4NZ8)

192 Masturbation--- "the solitary vice". Rarely leading to pregnancies, STDs, messy breakups, or child support.
On the other hand, theire is blindness and insanity.

Posted by: kraken at April 28, 2016 06:41 PM (zuTLp)

193 This will not work for virgins. If they can top 3 seconds. They get elected like Obama.

Posted by: biscuiteater at April 28, 2016 06:41 PM (2apy7)

194 Hey, this election season could be worse. Today I saw a car with a "Miley for President" bumper sticker.

Posted by: rickl at April 28, 2016 06:41 PM (sdi6R)

195 It's not an authentic Spartan workout without the gay sex, though. NTTAWWT.

Posted by: broseidon king of the brocean at April 28, 2016 06:42 PM (kumBu)

196 so that's what Achmed has been doing all this time...

exercising

sure wish he'd go back to the chicken

Posted by: The goat at April 28, 2016 06:42 PM (bl96H)

197
Who allows their teen daughters and drive around all the time with a caveman in an RV?

Posted by: Mr. Rourke at April 28, 2016 06:42 PM (T0BVJ)

198 So opening one of those clamshell packages a day should do it.

Posted by: The Jackhole at April 28, 2016 06:42 PM (3mTyP)

199 Today I saw a car with a "Miley for President" bumper sticker.

Free tongue baths for all Amerikans.

Posted by: Michael Moore at April 28, 2016 06:42 PM (Dwehj)

200 On the other hand, theire is blindness and insanity.
Posted by: kraken at April 28, 2016 06:41 PM (zuTLp)

Uh Ooh

Posted by: Nevergiveup at April 28, 2016 06:42 PM (Ozsfq)

201 Of course, Woody Allen also said "Damn, my step-daughter is foxy." So not all of his wisdom was sound.
Posted by: broseidon king of the brocean at April 28, 2016 06:37 PM (kumBu)

Yeah, you gotta be a sicko to marry your step-daughter.

Posted by: Jerry Lee Lewis at April 28, 2016 06:43 PM (7qAYi)

202 >>> I'll just leave this here:

I only had to watch that for 30 seconds IYKWIMAITTYD

Posted by: fluffy at April 28, 2016 06:43 PM (2hcmo)

203 @184

The plank hold is probably one of the best bang for your buck exercises you can do for overall ab and upper body strength.

You can start off in a proper plank and drop down into a modified plank and build up to holding it longer and longer.

You will be amazed at how quickly you will see results.

In the beginning you'll be a shaking quivering mess but you will improve really quickly.

Posted by: Kreplach at April 28, 2016 06:43 PM (WVvzl)

204 Whole lotta shakin' goin' on.

Posted by: Michael Moore at April 28, 2016 06:43 PM (Dwehj)

205 "What is a burpee-aside from the seeds or something to do with indigestion?

Posted by: FenelonSpoke at April 28, 2016 06:41 PM (w4NZ

"

Basically a squat thrust, except you jump at the top, and sometimes you do a pushup at the bottom, though those are usually called, believe it or not, burpee pushups.

They're a vile tool of Satan. But they're also a pretty good workout.

Posted by: broseidon king of the brocean at April 28, 2016 06:44 PM (kumBu)

206
You're still going to need an hour or so for post-coital remorse and questioning your life choices.
Posted by: Bandersnatch at April 28, 2016 06:39 PM (1xUj/)

that was very cynical.

Kraken, fgs, love makes the world go round, even if it's crazy and filled with tots.

Posted by: willow at April 28, 2016 06:44 PM (L1+sh)

207 Taffy was smart but she always had the Daffy Taffy plans! Dee Dee was brown sugah!!

Posted by: Banana Splits Guy at April 28, 2016 06:44 PM (ej28x)

208 What is a burpee-aside from the seeds or something to do with indigestion?

Squat
Legs back to pushup position
Pushup
Legs back to squat
Stand.

Posted by: Bandersnatch at April 28, 2016 06:44 PM (1xUj/)

209
What is a burpee-aside from the seeds or something to do with indigestion?
Posted by: FenelonSpoke at April 28, 2016 06:41 PM (w4NZ

combo exercise where you squat down, do a push up, and then stand up.

Or something like that.

Posted by: ReactionaryMonster Bravely supporting kittens at April 28, 2016 06:44 PM (uURQL)

210 I thought burpee was a seed catalogue

Posted by: @votermom at April 28, 2016 06:44 PM (nbrY/)

211 187 Posted by: Kreplach at April 28, 2016 06:36 PM (WVvzl
Hiking uphill is hard. I'm basically lazy.
Posted by: CaliGirl at April 28, 2016 06:39 PM (egOGm)

Yeah. And once I get up there I can't even "look out" because I'm afraid of heights.

Posted by: washrivergal at April 28, 2016 06:45 PM (CFc5L)

212 Basically a squat thrust, except you jump at the top, and sometimes you do a pushup at the bottom, though those are usually called, believe it or not, burpee pushups.

Inconceivable.

Posted by: ReactionaryMonster Bravely supporting kittens at April 28, 2016 06:45 PM (uURQL)

213 alright, that's the time i allotted for the day, to argue with myself and others.

be well, lotsa love.

Posted by: willow at April 28, 2016 06:45 PM (L1+sh)

214 The last time I watched CNN was when Anderson Cooper was covering the truck bomb incident around Times Square. The were looking for suspect and happened upon some guy changing his shirt on the sidewalk. Cooper kept saying that it's got to be him, and saying "Looks like our suspect is a WHITE MALE" over and over again like he was wetting his pants over it. The end of CNN.------washrivergal

You have more intestinal fortitude than I.
I have avoided CNN since the Operation Tailwind scandal broke. I figured it would get even worse when Zucker became it's president.

Posted by: Tilikum KAW at April 28, 2016 06:45 PM (uhftQ)

215 This is a burpee, FenelonSpoke. They look deceptively easy. Do not be fooled. The person who thought this up is a sadist. http://tinyurl.com/jj9kofj

Posted by: no good deed at April 28, 2016 06:45 PM (GgxVX)

216 I need to find someone willing to let me put my shame inside them.

This could actually revive the economy. See if you can get a grant.

Posted by: DaveA at April 28, 2016 06:46 PM (DL2i+)

217 @187

You don't have to hike at appreciable elevation.

You can hike in the city you can hike at little to moderate elevation.

Because you're outside and not exercising-exercising it's something you can rationalize yourself into doing on a consistent basis.

Posted by: Kreplach at April 28, 2016 06:46 PM (WVvzl)

218 I usually do burpees after my 12 oz abs.

Posted by: wth at April 28, 2016 06:47 PM (HgMAr)

219 Kreplach, what's a proper plank vs a modified plank?

I was thinking plank = as if doing a push up but your forearms are on the floor

Posted by: @votermom at April 28, 2016 06:47 PM (nbrY/)

220 The person who thought this up is a sadist.

The most sadistic thing to my mind was a track thing called a Fartlek.

(Turned out it was named after a guy. I always thought we were being told to do "fart licks").

Run along in single file at a decent pace. Guy in the back has to sprint to the front and maintain the pace. New guy in the back...etc.

Posted by: Bandersnatch at April 28, 2016 06:48 PM (1xUj/)

221 Bye willow come back soon!

Posted by: @votermom at April 28, 2016 06:48 PM (nbrY/)

222
Actually the very best ab exercise is the "vacuum."

I shit you not. It is incredibly simple and effective, but a lot harder to do than you'd think.

The vacuum: You can do it standing up, but it's best done kneeling on all fours. You exhale as hard as you can and pull your bellybutton into your back and hold it for 15 seconds.

I know most of you don't believe me but the Vacuum is amazing when done right. It can actually shrink your waist. If you ever saw a photo of Arnold in his prime, he got his tiny waist (and that vacuumed look in the rib cage) by doing Vacuums.

Posted by: Mr. Rourke at April 28, 2016 06:48 PM (T0BVJ)

223 Wonder Woman and Jana on Superfriends - plus that giant chick that would fight Mr. Giant Indian. Lots of candy for the eyes!

Posted by: Banana Splits Guy at April 28, 2016 06:49 PM (ej28x)

224 Seven chipmunks twirlin on a branch, eatin lots of sunflowers on my
uncle's ranch. You know that old children's tale from the sea. It's like
you're dreamin about Gorgonzola cheese when its clearly Brie time,
baby. Step into my office. Because you're fired!

Posted by: DangerGirl and her 1.21 gigawatt Sanity Prod at April 28, 2016 06:50 PM (+eR2D)

225 Well good to know. I only have to do exercise 1 minute a day.

Posted by: chemjeff at April 28, 2016 06:50 PM (uAvJJ)

226 >>>>I need to find someone willing to let me put my shame inside them.

The barrel is always there for you, Ace.

Posted by: garrett at April 28, 2016 06:50 PM (etV2e)

227 Burpess on their own aren't too bad - they can be tough if you do a ton of them, but that's true of just about anything. Where they get sadistic is that trainers tend to like to throw them into other exercises they way you grate some cheese onto a salad. Finished your pushups? Do 15 burpees then go right back to pushups.

Posted by: broseidon king of the brocean at April 28, 2016 06:50 PM (kumBu)

228 After meeting with union negotiators Thursday, Verizon bumped up its
proposed wage increase for 36,000 striking workers, from 6.5 percent
over three years to 7.5 percent, calling the proposal its last, best and
final offer.

But the unions representing the strikers, including 4,800 in New Jersey, rejected the proposal

Hey assholes the Military is only getting 1.6% ...better check your Civilian Privilege I'd say

What is this "raise" thing?

Posted by: Grey Fox at April 28, 2016 06:50 PM (bZ7mE)

229 @219

A proper plank is you in a standard push position except your forearms are on the floor.

Modified is your knees touching the floor, for lack of a better way to explain it, a girls pushup position with your forearms on the floor.

Posted by: Kreplach at April 28, 2016 06:51 PM (WVvzl)

230
Whole lotta shakin' goin' on.
Posted by: Michael Moore
.......................

I know you'd like to do "one minute of intense exercise" if you could just find the damn thing.

Posted by: wth at April 28, 2016 06:51 PM (HgMAr)

231 Yes, Fartleks are evil too, Bandersnatch. Wall sits and lunges down the football field. *thud*

Posted by: no good deed at April 28, 2016 06:51 PM (GgxVX)

232
224 Seven chipmunks twirlin on a branch, eatin lots of sunflowers on my
uncle's ranch. You know that old children's tale from the sea. It's like
you're dreamin about Gorgonzola cheese when its clearly Brie time,
baby. Step into my office. Because you're fired!
Posted by: DangerGirl

That makes total sense to me, DG. Should I see a counselor?

Posted by: kraken at April 28, 2016 06:51 PM (zuTLp)

233
Ab Vacuums explained

http://physicalculturist.ca/stomach-vacuum/

Posted by: Mr. Rourke at April 28, 2016 06:51 PM (T0BVJ)

234
What is this "raise" thing?

Posted by: Grey Fox at April 28, 2016 06:50 PM (bZ7mE)

Seriously. The last time we got raises was 2010. I am happy to see that my company is hiring more and more managers and supervisors though. We're almost at a 1 sup per 2 employee ratio. A wise way to spend all of our current and future raises, let me say.

Posted by: DangerGirl and her 1.21 gigawatt Sanity Prod at April 28, 2016 06:52 PM (+eR2D)

235 208
Squat
Legs back to pushup position
Pushup
Legs back to squat
Stand.
Posted by: Bandersnatch at April 28, 2016 06:44 PM
----------------
I think that would kill me.
Seriously.

It's not that I mind the dying so much.
We all have to go sometime.
It's the thought of someone having to tell my mother I died doing a "burpee."

Posted by: Margarita DeVille at April 28, 2016 06:52 PM (T/5A0)

236 'No but seriously: Sex takes care of that. You just have to do it once per day'

What if you do it with a vacuum cleaner? Does that count?

Posted by: Cy.Borg.Robot.Drifter at April 28, 2016 06:52 PM (BO/km)

237 >>Run along in single file at a decent pace. Guy in the back has to sprint to the front and maintain the pace. New guy in the back...etc.

We used to do this for football. And burpies. In pads.

Being young made things a lot easier.

Posted by: JackStraw at April 28, 2016 06:52 PM (/tuJf)

238 Didn't they used to call those suicides?

Posted by: steevy at April 28, 2016 06:52 PM (B48dK)

239 The most sadistic thing to my mind was a track thing called a Fartlek.

(Turned out it was named after a guy. I always thought we were being told to do "fart licks").

Run along in single file at a decent pace. Guy in the back has to
sprint to the front and maintain the pace. New guy in the back...etc.

I think that is how the Apaches used to run down animals/people they were pursuing - keeps the target sprinting while allowing the pursuers to conserve their strength.

Posted by: Grey Fox at April 28, 2016 06:53 PM (bZ7mE)

240 And with that, I'm off to go lift heavy shit for about 45 minutes. Unfortunately, there's no 60 second workout that can replicate that.

Posted by: broseidon king of the brocean at April 28, 2016 06:53 PM (kumBu)

241 I know that everyone says that I have to do squats in order to get in shape. But they are damn hard. Can anyone recommend how to do a squat for someone who is out of shape and has terrible balance?

Posted by: chemjeff at April 28, 2016 06:53 PM (uAvJJ)

242 This new Clooney movie Money Monster....looks like shit.

Posted by: steevy at April 28, 2016 06:53 PM (B48dK)

243 That makes total sense to me, DG. Should I see a counselor?

Posted by: kraken at April 28, 2016 06:51 PM (zuTLp)

Nope. We are perfectly sane. WHARRGARBL!

Posted by: DangerGirl and her 1.21 gigawatt Sanity Prod at April 28, 2016 06:53 PM (+eR2D)

244 If you do Spartan races or any obstacle type race if you fail to complete an obstacle the penalty is 30 burpees.

My first Spartan race was basically jogging to an obstacle, failing the obstacle and doing 30 burpees.

Posted by: Kreplach at April 28, 2016 06:54 PM (WVvzl)

245 You have more intestinal fortitude than I.
I have avoided CNN since the Operation Tailwind scandal broke. I figured it would get even worse when Zucker became it's president.
Posted by: Tilikum KAW at April 28, 2016 06:45 PM (uhftQ)

As I am not familiar with this story I had to look it up. Naturally, I mis-read Tailwind, thought you wrote Thailand and ended up looking at penis surgery in Thailand. When I saw my mistake I took a glance at the story Operation Tailwind and the whole effing mess doesn't surprise me in the least.

Posted by: washrivergal at April 28, 2016 06:54 PM (CFc5L)

246
plus that giant chick that would fight Mr. Giant Indian.

Giganta, I think her name was on the Super Friends. Apache Chief was the Indian who could grow when he said "In-yuk-chuk!"

Posted by: Mr. Rourke at April 28, 2016 06:54 PM (T0BVJ)

247
Yeah, you gotta be a sicko to marry your step-daughter.
Posted by: Jerry Lee Lewis

Oh LAYDEEEEEEE!

Posted by: The other Jerry Lewis at April 28, 2016 06:54 PM (k4M/B)

248 Can anyone recommend how to do a squat for someone who is out of shape and has terrible balance?

Start out with body weight squats, chemjeff.

Posted by: no good deed at April 28, 2016 06:54 PM (GgxVX)

249 The most sadistic thing to my mind was a track thing called a Fartlek.

(Turned out it was named after a guy. I always thought we were being told to do "fart licks").

Run along in single file at a decent pace. Guy in the back has to sprint to the front and maintain the pace. New guy in the back...etc.------Bandersnatch

I think that violates the Geneva Convention. Wish the coach would have believed that.
Bad memories...

Posted by: Tilikum KAW at April 28, 2016 06:54 PM (uhftQ)

250 >>I think that is how the Apaches used to run down animals/people they were pursuing - keeps the target sprinting while allowing the pursuers to conserve their strength

I would still bet on the Kenyan.

Posted by: garrett at April 28, 2016 06:55 PM (etV2e)

251 246 Yeah,created for the TV shoe because there was "diversity" pressure from the left even than.

Posted by: steevy at April 28, 2016 06:55 PM (B48dK)

252 that's funny Achmed Muhammed, thanks for making a profile for me on both Tinder AND Grinder...

really thanks

Posted by: The goat at April 28, 2016 06:55 PM (bl96H)

253 >>Can anyone recommend how to do a squat for someone who is out of shape and has terrible balance?

Stand closer to the wall.

Posted by: garrett at April 28, 2016 06:55 PM (etV2e)

254
Can anyone recommend how to do a squat for someone who is out of shape and has terrible balance?

Start with a very wide stance until you get comfortable. Also, if you have a railing or something to hold on to, use that.

Posted by: Mr. Rourke at April 28, 2016 06:56 PM (T0BVJ)

255 As Woody Allen said, "Sex without love is an empty nothing. As empty nothings go, it's pretty good." From "Love and Death."

Woody Allen also said "Damn, my step-daughter is foxy." So not all of his wisdom was sound.

Posted by: NaCly Dog at April 28, 2016 06:56 PM (u82oZ)

256
This new Clooney movie Money Monster....looks like shit.
Posted by: steevy at April 28, 2016 06:53 PM (B48dK)
.................

could be a few good minutes if he gets lost in space again

Posted by: wth at April 28, 2016 06:56 PM (HgMAr)

257
Apache Chief was the Indian who could grow when he said "In-yuk-chuk!"
Posted by: Mr. Rourke

Sounds like Capital G

http://dexterslab.wikia.com/wiki/Capital_G

Posted by: Bertram Cabot Jr. at April 28, 2016 06:57 PM (k4M/B)

258 "Posted by: NaCly Dog at April 28, 2016 06:56 PM (u82oZ) "

I wonder if Amy Schumer has anything to say about Woody Allen and Soon Yi?

Posted by: broseidon king of the brocean at April 28, 2016 06:57 PM (kumBu)

259 251 246 Yeah,created for the TV shoe because there was "diversity" pressure from the left even than.
Posted by: steevy at April 28, 2016 06:55 PM (B48dK)

And is now considered to be an unfortunate stereotype.

Posted by: Jerry Lee Lewis at April 28, 2016 06:59 PM (7qAYi)

260 I always say, "Sex without love is an empty nothing. As empty nothings go, it's pretty good."

Posted by: Amy Schumer at April 28, 2016 06:59 PM (etV2e)

261 This thread is making me tired and sore. Need moar martinis.

Posted by: rickl at April 28, 2016 07:00 PM (sdi6R)

262 I forgot RED HOT RIDING HOOD!! Totally spankworthy!

We're still in the safe space, right?

Posted by: Banana Splits Guy at April 28, 2016 07:00 PM (ej28x)

263 261 This thread is making me tired and sore. Need moar martinis.
Posted by: rickl at April 28, 2016 07:00 PM (sdi6R)
------------
I wonder if drinking in high intensity intervals would help?

Posted by: Margarita DeVille at April 28, 2016 07:01 PM (T/5A0)

264
The Super Friends, because of stupid diversity, introduced a few stupid characters such as "El Dorado" and "Samurai" which were insulting to Latinos and Asians.

Posted by: Mr. Rourke at April 28, 2016 07:01 PM (T0BVJ)

265 When I look at Woody Allen, I see perv. Wonder if that's just me....

Posted by: kraken at April 28, 2016 07:02 PM (zuTLp)

266 Screaming and flapping your wind whippers in a 30 second rageburst is giving it the new college try

Posted by: jsg at April 28, 2016 07:02 PM (uUhhd)

267
damn nood

Posted by: Mr. Rourke at April 28, 2016 07:02 PM (T0BVJ)

268 265 When I look at Woody Allen, I see perv. Wonder if that's just me....
Posted by: kraken at April 28, 2016 07:02 PM (zuTLp)
------------------
I see money!

Posted by: Soon Yi at April 28, 2016 07:03 PM (T/5A0)

269 I know that everyone says that I have to do squats
in order to get in shape. But they are damn hard. Can anyone recommend
how to do a squat for someone who is out of shape and has terrible
balance?

Posted by: chemjeff at April 28, 2016 06:53 PM (uAvJJ)

Starting Strength, by Mark Rippetoe, tends to get thrown around a lot as a good manual on strength training.

Posted by: Colorado Alex at April 28, 2016 07:06 PM (LUG6K)

270 Ace? Buddy?

I'm no expert (I only stayed in a Motel 6 ONCE outside of Tulsa in the 90's because of a catalytic converter problem) but I think you are probably sexing wrong.

You are DEFINITELY sexting wrong.

WRONG VIBE dude.

20 seconds of under performance, I could deal with (as a well meaning friend) but you are almost PROMISING 2 hours of weird, man-baby crying while I hold you and constantly think about the scalding hot water and shitty Motel conditioner to cleanse away our smallish sins.

The ratio is all out of proportion!

Just not...efficient!

(Blog groupies, huh!)

Posted by: Deety at April 28, 2016 07:15 PM (xPWMR)

271 Pretty much everyone already has washboard abs.
It's just that you can't see them because they are hidden by a layer of fat.
Diet is what causes the fat, not lack of exercise, and you can't "spot reduce" an area where you want to see a difference.

Posted by: Speller at April 28, 2016 07:16 PM (hHs1b)

272 I am just concerned that "Starting Strength" might be too advanced for me.

Posted by: chemjeff at April 28, 2016 07:27 PM (uAvJJ)

273 Do me a favor... If you ever look up my old drill sergeants, please get video when you try to tell them that...

Posted by: richard mcenroe at April 28, 2016 07:42 PM (Kucy5)

274 chemjeff, after my last knee injury, they had me doing squats leaning against a wall, and holding that position until my knee screamed, "Enough!"

I still do those. I don't dare do anything without support because the left knee tends to dislocate, which is a trip to the ER to get the damned thing back in place.

Posted by: Jane D'oh at April 28, 2016 07:46 PM (FsuaD)

275 feels like i'm miscin' agiain

Posted by: thathalfrican - lemonade in the shade disposition at April 28, 2016 07:48 PM (R5HRU)

276 Posted by: chemjeff at April 28, 2016 07:27 PM (uAvJJ)

It's not, youtube proper form. Rippetoe has plenty of videos, but the squat and dead lift are the kings of lifts.

Master those and increase your strength.

Posted by: thathalfrican - lemonade in the shade disposition at April 28, 2016 07:50 PM (R5HRU)

277 " I know that everyone says that I have to do squats
in order to get in shape. But they are damn hard. Can anyone recommend how to do a squat for someone who is out of shape and has terrible balance?"

Start with bodyweight squats with proper form. When those get easier, get under the bar and start to add weight.

Posted by: UGAdawg at April 28, 2016 08:13 PM (c+vBe)

278 68 This is a job for:
SJW BLOB GIRL Her partners finish in 60 seconds not out of passion but out of fear.
Posted by: Ghost of kari - certified sidebar at April 28, 2016

Ha, I misread that as social justice blow job girl and thought why would anyone chance their junk in her mouth?!

Posted by: bebe's boobs destroy at April 28, 2016 08:26 PM (BYJ2T)

279 It's official. All nutrition/health journalism (if not research) is crap.

Posted by: sinalco at April 28, 2016 08:55 PM (yODqO)

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