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Official State Department Travel Warning: If You're Ugly, Be Very Suspicious of Swarthy Foreign Hustlers Trying to Con You Into Buying Them Drinks, Because, Like We Were Saying Earlier, You're Ugly And Why Would Someone Be Interested In You, Uggo?

It's been deleted.

To be honest, I'm not sure what the ruckus is all about, but this is an extremely slow news day and I'm willing to post just about anything.

"Not a '10' in the US? Then not a 10 overseas. Beware of being lured into buying expensive drinks or worse -- being robbed," the controversial tweet said.

I guess this warning is about strip-clubs or other clip-houses where attractive women suggest that you buy them a champagne and then it turns out that champagne was $200 for a mini-bottle?

But isn't that con well enough known in the US?

Or was that just me?!

From a Commenter: jwest i think.

The deleted words are "suck your d***," x2.

Posted by: Ace at 01:03 PM




Comments

(Jump to bottom of comments)

1 Is this a stomp?

Posted by: johnd01 at March 31, 2016 01:06 PM (ukNFU)

2 uggg they are on to me!

Posted by: sunny at March 31, 2016 01:06 PM (Xnxty)

3 has it only been a half hour since that post? It feels like forever.

Posted by: ace at March 31, 2016 01:07 PM (dciA+)

4 my hash is awesome! xanax thank you!

Posted by: sunny at March 31, 2016 01:07 PM (Xnxty)

5 My ugly beautiful girl.

Posted by: Wild Man Fischer at March 31, 2016 01:07 PM (FkBIv)

6 I was wondering why the State Dept issued me a head-sized bag along with my passport.

Posted by: johnd01 at March 31, 2016 01:07 PM (ukNFU)

7 Would you expect anything less from the Obama administration?

Posted by: Lizzy at March 31, 2016 01:07 PM (NOIQH)

8 I guess this warning is about strip-clubs or other clip-houses where
attractive women suggest that you buy them a champagne and then it turns
out that champagne was $200 for a mini-bottle?

=======

Pfft! This happened to me at a Time Square stripper bar in 1998. You don't have to leave the country for this.

Posted by: Kensington at March 31, 2016 01:08 PM (7Kbxu)

9 You mean the hot thin (and only slightly diseased) Slavic chick didn't really think I am cute?

If only State would be as honest WRT Islam.

Posted by: sven10077 at March 31, 2016 01:08 PM (g8Hfr)

10

Or was that just me?!

Nah, that stripper really liked my shirt too. The gratuity was coincidental.

Posted by: DaveA at March 31, 2016 01:08 PM (DL2i+)

11 There must be some feminyst term for this - "fug-shaming"?

Posted by: Lizzy at March 31, 2016 01:08 PM (NOIQH)

12 the state department issued me a jacket full of pork chops so that foreign dogs would sniff me.

Posted by: ace at March 31, 2016 01:09 PM (dciA+)

13 People always buy me drinks.

Bonjour!

Posted by: a French model at March 31, 2016 01:09 PM (H9MG5)

14 I've traveled quite a bit in foreign countries and read the State Department advisories.

Two regular themes in the advisories were:

1) Stay out of dodgy bars in foreign country X

2) Don't be drunk in public in foreign country X

I particularly remember Croatia, which advised you to stay out of strip clubs - apparently people were sometimes presented with a huge bill at the end of the evening, and a couple of husky males showed up to take you to the nearest ATM, to make you withdraw money to pay the bill.

Who knew that a Balkan strip club might try to rip you off?

I had no idea....

Posted by: Really? at March 31, 2016 01:09 PM (Mrl1e)

15 There is no sex in the champagne room.

Posted by: BunkerInTheBurbs at March 31, 2016 01:09 PM (kXzR8)

16 Yo!

Posted by: Yo! at March 31, 2016 01:09 PM (GwIKd)

17 Nice to know Trump isn't the only stupid person/agency, etc on Twitter.

Posted by: Misanthropic Humanitarian at March 31, 2016 01:09 PM (voOPb)

18 >>>Pfft! This happened to me at a Time Square stripper bar in 1998. You don't have to leave the country for this.

me too. not times square for me though, but general midtown area.

I refused to pay.

Posted by: ace at March 31, 2016 01:09 PM (dciA+)

19 Well, yeah. I knew a guy who was handsome enough until you got to his face, which looked like 5 miles of bad Pennsylvania road. He said that when he was on a tour in Prague a woman at the airport bar was trying to get him to buy her a drink and discuss what he did in the US and where he got his expensive watch. He said that he didn't see why this was surprising. I just shook my head.

Posted by: joncelli, Bridge Troll and Crossbow Afficianado at March 31, 2016 01:10 PM (PjWy4)

20 I was just going to post about 'The Five' and Guttfeld's comments when whoosh! this post came up.

Will these political divisions and fevered tone end after the election? Sadly, I think not. It is one of the many ramifications of having a political elite class that has favored few and pissed off a lot. Emotional tsunami.

Having a pretty woman or handsome man take advantage of an average person? Yeah, that's news.

Posted by: Cheri at March 31, 2016 01:10 PM (oiNtH)

21 Is this a test?

Posted by: Yo! at March 31, 2016 01:10 PM (GwIKd)

22 there's a state department advisory that I'm supposed to walk around with a Muppet so that I can use that to communicate with children and waiters.

Posted by: ace at March 31, 2016 01:10 PM (dciA+)

23 Hmm. I thought we were all Ugly Americans.

Posted by: Cicero (@cicero) at March 31, 2016 01:11 PM (8ZskC)

24 "Beware of being lured into buying expensive drinks or worse -- being robbed"

Wow, I might be robbed when I travel overseas?
Huh, did not see that coming.

Posted by: Lizzy at March 31, 2016 01:11 PM (NOIQH)

25 >>Or was that just me?!


You should be suspicious of any woman willing to look at your etchings, Ace.

Doubly so if she has slightly larger than expressive wrists.

Posted by: garrett at March 31, 2016 01:11 PM (mEs7I)

26 Ah, a post smack dab in the middle of the HQ's (and ace's, apparently ...) wheelhouse! Strippers and alcohol and con games.

Posted by: rhomboid at March 31, 2016 01:12 PM (QDnY+)

27 The thing is, the advice is sound. And true. But was unpopular with someone so apologized for and deleted. I guess it's just another example of the state of the world right now.

Posted by: Polliwog the 'Ette at March 31, 2016 01:12 PM (GDulk)

28 It wasn't just you if the State Dep't. was issuing a warning. However, it definitely did not include me.

My guess is that this has been part of a standard packet of overseas travel hints and tips that the state department has been handing out for years and now someone has once more declared reality offensive.

Posted by: *Mikey NTH - Rent Your Hill To Die On from the Outrage Outlet! at March 31, 2016 01:12 PM (hLRSq)

29 22 there's a state department advisory that I'm supposed to walk around with a Muppet so that I can use that to communicate with children and waiters.
Posted by: ace at March 31, 2016 01:10 PM (dciA+)

So that's not right?

(Cookie Monster Hand Puppet: "Don't listen to him joncelli.")

Posted by: joncelli, Bridge Troll and Crossbow Afficianado at March 31, 2016 01:12 PM (PjWy4)

30 >>I guess this warning is about strip-clubs or other clip-houses where attractive women suggest that you buy them a champagne and then it turns out that champagne was $200 for a mini-bottle?

Heading back to Chile on Monday and my Chilean distributor loves him some strip clubs which means I have to go to strip clubs. In my experience, and it is limited (stop laughing, its true) you can get clipped at a strip club in the US but that it about it.

In Chile you see lots of guys named Ivan and Vlad watching over the flock. You stand to lose a bit more than a few bucks if you screw up.

Posted by: JackStraw at March 31, 2016 01:12 PM (/tuJf)

31 Is Ace's Self-Stomping a sign?

Does he seem different to you guys?

More detached? Less intuitive? Moody?

Posted by: garrett at March 31, 2016 01:13 PM (mEs7I)

32 Not a '10' in the US? Then not a 10 overseas. Beware of being lured into buying expensive drinks or worse -- being robbed. Don't ask me how I know this...

Posted by: The State Deparment at March 31, 2016 01:13 PM (9mTYi)

33 Maybe they should have just advised people to watch "EuroTrip" before traveling?

Posted by: Lizzy at March 31, 2016 01:13 PM (NOIQH)

34 Nonsense. All women are beautiful. Drinks all around.

Posted by: William H . Cosby, Jr. at March 31, 2016 01:13 PM (bGLSw)

35 A 7 in the U.S. would translate to a 3 in Europe, so you're uglier in Europe than you are here because of the metric system.

Posted by: Cicero (@cicero) at March 31, 2016 01:13 PM (8ZskC)

36 Posted by: delayna at March 31, 2016 11:52 AM (KnC4k)

A much better teminder though would have been that there was a good chance the hot chick wasn't there of her own free will.

Posted by: Polliwog the 'Ette at March 31, 2016 01:14 PM (GDulk)

37 She faked it, needledick.

Posted by: Official State Department Travel Advisory at March 31, 2016 01:14 PM (dciA+)

38 If anybody in this hemisphere would know about being ugly and buying expensive things for mysterious foreigners and then getting rolled, that would be the U.S. State Department.
So good on them for writing about what they know about.

Posted by: Stringer Davis at March 31, 2016 01:14 PM (xq1UY)

39 I was sitting at a small café in Bavaria eating my pizza with a spork (for safety reasons) and the beautiful Bavarian Mädchens just wouldn't leave me alone.

Posted by: John "son of a pizza delivery man" Kasich at March 31, 2016 01:14 PM (NeFrd)

40 Pheww!! I'm safe since I'm a 10 1/2.

Posted by: Sphynx at March 31, 2016 01:14 PM (OZmbA)

41 >> which means I have to go to strip clubs.


Chilean Toothfish with a side of C-Scar?

Posted by: garrett at March 31, 2016 01:14 PM (mEs7I)

42 And I thought all those hot chicks in China really wanted to practice their English on me.

Posted by: Cicero (@cicero) at March 31, 2016 01:15 PM (8ZskC)

43 I'm glad the US State Department is finally willing to call me out on all my bullshit.

But so mean about it!

Posted by: ace at March 31, 2016 01:15 PM (dciA+)

44 What is next?


Beer goggle instructions?

Posted by: Yo! at March 31, 2016 01:15 PM (GwIKd)

45 35 Posted by: Cicero (@cicero) at March 31, 2016 01:13 PM (8ZskC)


Eh...

if I were "sevntlana" maybe....

EUtopian men are pretty dog looking, or well Liberace.

Posted by: sven10077 at March 31, 2016 01:15 PM (g8Hfr)

46
there's a state department advisory that I'm supposed to walk around with a Muppet so that I can use that to communicate with children and waiters.
Posted by: ace


Say hello to the folks, Bobby.

Posted by: Ventrilo at March 31, 2016 01:15 PM (FkBIv)

47 Poor Kerry, must of gotten shaken down in Tehran.

Posted by: Flyguy at March 31, 2016 01:15 PM (8DgV/)

48 23 Hmm. I thought we were all Ugly Americans.
Posted by: Cicero (@cicero) at March 31, 2016 01:11 PM (8ZskC)


That's what I was always told until, I actually went overseas.

False.

Not even close.

Posted by: 98ZJUSMC Staring at the Lake in the Rain at March 31, 2016 01:15 PM (jG7y7)

49 The capacity of stripes to "slenderize" is greatly overstated. Why don't you start exercising, Porkchop?

Posted by: Official State Department Travel Advisory at March 31, 2016 01:16 PM (dciA+)

50 If she plays with her hair, disregard this notice.

Posted by: Best, Mike - State Department at March 31, 2016 01:16 PM (mEs7I)

51 Also, piece of advice - don't read the State Department travel warnings, which are often mealy-mouthed so as not to offend the host country.

Read the Australian travel warnings - Australia wants to protect its citizens, and is less concerned whether they offend foreign governments or not.

Posted by: Really? at March 31, 2016 01:16 PM (Mrl1e)

52 43 Posted by: ace at March 31, 2016 01:15 PM (dciA+)


Dear Ace:

On your next trip to Slotvania it would behoove you NOT to take the offered treats....

the nice Slavic girl is not interested in communicating with you she wants your pelt.

//John Kerry Sec State

Posted by: sven10077 at March 31, 2016 01:16 PM (g8Hfr)

53
I've never been drunk in a foreign country....

*hic*

Posted by: Hillary Clinton at March 31, 2016 01:16 PM (HSmrB)

54
If You're Ugly, Be Very Suspicious of Swarthy Foreign Hustlers Trying to Con You Into Buying Them Drinks, Because, Like We Were Saying Earlier, You're Ugly And Why Would Someone Be Interested In You, Uggo?


So basically, the State Department is basing its travel protocols on my picture, now?

Posted by: Mary Poppins' Practically Perfect Piercing at March 31, 2016 01:17 PM (X6fMO)

55 We need to start a petition to ban reality. Got to give it a different name though -

shared cis-normativity?

Posted by: *Mikey NTH - Rent Your Hill To Die On from the Outrage Outlet! at March 31, 2016 01:17 PM (hLRSq)

56 Geez, if Hillary warned me of the important stuff like not accepting an invitation for drinks, I'd still be alive.

Posted by: zombie Amb. Stevens at March 31, 2016 01:17 PM (H9MG5)

57 This might be hard to hear, but you'll thank me for it one day.

You have Lower Class Teeth.

It was the elephant in the room.

Posted by: Official State Department Travel Advisory at March 31, 2016 01:17 PM (dciA+)

58 To be honest, I'm not sure what the ruckus is all about, but this is an extremely slow news day and I'm willing to post just about anything.

You could always post about celebrity lifestyles.

Especially mine, with the hookers, blow, and HIV.

Winning?


Posted by: Charlie Sheen at March 31, 2016 01:17 PM (4WhSY)

59 Slow news day? I'm surprised this Smell Justice Warrior's tale of microagression and un-safe space making isn't burning up the wire:

http://www.breitbart.com/london/2016/03/31/police-investigate-man-revenge-fart/

Posted by: Duncanthrax the Bellicose at March 31, 2016 01:17 PM (ml1PM)

60 I should forward this to my friend who got rolled in Rio.

Posted by: garrett at March 31, 2016 01:17 PM (mEs7I)

61 State Department: You can counteract some of your ugliness by wearing an onion on your belt.

Posted by: johnd01 at March 31, 2016 01:17 PM (ukNFU)

62 We used to print out and post the advisory cables for travel to Nuevo Laredo MX, with all the detail about organized violence, the systematic intimidation of law enforcement by gangs, etc.


This was in a war zone, we did it to mock the hysteria of the media sorts. Most didn't get it, naturally.

Posted by: rhomboid at March 31, 2016 01:17 PM (QDnY+)

63 Hey, Cristal loves and respects me, even if I don't tip her after the lap dance... and apologize for the, um, quick finish!

Posted by: Wyatt Earp at March 31, 2016 01:17 PM (kFnmp)

64 In Russia, the drinks buy YOU!

Posted by: Anya Onatop at March 31, 2016 01:18 PM (h1l3q)

65 61 State Department: You can counteract some of your ugliness by wearing an onion on your belt.

Which was the style at the time.

Posted by: Grampa Simpspon at March 31, 2016 01:18 PM (kFnmp)

66 See Presdent Obama's plan is working so quit lying abouts our Presdent of Color and arrest Buash now for his lies people.!!!!!!!!!!!!

Presdent Obama's policies on Advanced manufacturing technologies are helping to push the United States back toward being the most competitive manufacturing nation in the world, according to a new survey of global CEOs and other senior executives.

Posted by: Mary Clogginstien from Brattleboro, VT at March 31, 2016 01:18 PM (KRuzk)

67 Spent some time among just-folks in let's see, Belgium, Lux, southern Holland, Rhineland north of Koblenz. Saw one count'em one stunning woman, and she turned out to be an American tourist heading home. Die damen werden hunden.

Not saying every American girl is lookable. But Europe has its issues too.

Posted by: Stringer Davis at March 31, 2016 01:19 PM (xq1UY)

68 Official State Department Travel Warning: If You're Ugly, [/s[Be Very Suspicious of Swarthy Foreign Hustlers Trying to Con You Into Buying Them Drinks, Because, Like We Were Saying Earlier, You're Ugly And Why Would Someone Be Interested In You, Uggo?

Posted by: Jay Guevara at March 31, 2016 01:19 PM (oKE6c)

69 Debbie Wasserman-Schultz, Rosa Delauro, and Susan Rice, check your Twitter, please.

Posted by: Wyatt Earp at March 31, 2016 01:19 PM (kFnmp)

70 What is next?


Beer goggle instructions?

Posted by: Yo! at March 31, 2016 01:15 PM (GwIKd)


Let's see - I can either pass out advice that may actually help someone stay out of trouble or just take all of the phone calls from panicky tourists doing time in some Squalidvanian jail or laid up in the hospital.

Posted by: *Mikey NTH - Rent Your Hill To Die On from the Outrage Outlet! at March 31, 2016 01:19 PM (hLRSq)

71 Damn.

Official State Department Travel Warning: If You're Ugly, [/s[Be Very Suspicious of Swarthy Foreign Hustlers Trying to Con You Into Buying Them Drinks, Because, Like We Were Saying Earlier, You're Ugly And Why Would Someone Be Interested In You, Uggo?

Posted by: Jay Guevara at March 31, 2016 01:19 PM (oKE6c)

72 I give up.

Posted by: Jay Guevara at March 31, 2016 01:20 PM (oKE6c)

73 JUST the swarthy ones? OK, will keep that in mind.

Posted by: Sphynx at March 31, 2016 01:20 PM (OZmbA)

74 Third time's the charm, Jay?

Posted by: Wyatt Earp at March 31, 2016 01:20 PM (kFnmp)

75 This is known colloquially as the Waxman Rule.

Posted by: Cicero (@cicero) at March 31, 2016 01:20 PM (8ZskC)

76 "Psst, hey numbnuts. Your zipper's down."

/State Dept. advisory.

Posted by: Seamus Muldoon at March 31, 2016 01:20 PM (NeFrd)

77 I've never been drunk in a foreign country....

*hic*

Posted by: Hillary Clinton at March 31, 2016 01:16 PM (HSmrB)
_______

"...cause Im a Citizen Of The World, you know?"

Posted by: Dixie Wetsworth, Florida at March 31, 2016 01:20 PM (BUIPT)

78 63 Posted by: Wyatt Earp at March 31, 2016 01:17 PM (kFnmp)


SHE TOTALLY loves me and is not marrying me for a green card and a marital abandonment...

//Pvt Snuffy USA

Posted by: sven10077 at March 31, 2016 01:20 PM (g8Hfr)

79 Stay swarthy, my friends!

Posted by: The Dos Equis Guy at March 31, 2016 01:20 PM (kFnmp)

80 Well, now I feel sorry for ugly people.

Good job, Ace.

Posted by: jwest at March 31, 2016 01:20 PM (Zs4uk)

81 This video explains it all
https://youtu.be/j9yBPcn8IqU

Posted by: anon2020 at March 31, 2016 01:20 PM (yCcA0)

82 I guess this warning is about strip-clubs or other clip-houses where attractive women suggest that you buy them a champagne and then it turns out that champagne was $200 for a mini-bottle?
------------

No. This is actually an analogy for the larger Department-wide experience of Obama's State Department.

Every time someone offers them a metaphorical "Drink", they end up being mugged. The problem is that since they are untutored, inexperienced children (and yet, the 'smartest in the room'), they do not learn the lesson, nor are they called to account.

See: John Kerry, "They're not supposed to do that!"

Posted by: Mike Hammer, etc., etc. at March 31, 2016 01:20 PM (9mTYi)

83 At age 19 my ship pulled into port at Haifa. There were exceptionally good looking but extremely young women -- from the looks of them, teens to age 20, tops -- hovering around guys once they'd gotten into town. We'd been warned of such scammers but I don't now recall precisely what. Anyway, I was passed over by them thanks to my Cruzian radio face. Though that stung at the time I'm now very glad for it. Thinking back on it, I don't want to know how girls THAT young got into whatever line of work they were in (flat out prostitutes would likely not have overlooked anyone, including me...I'd probably have looked like a sure bet).

Posted by: doomed at March 31, 2016 01:20 PM (bGLSw)

84 //Pvt Snuffy USA

Poor bastard.

Posted by: The Dos Equis Guy at March 31, 2016 01:21 PM (kFnmp)

85 Tuck in your shirt, for God's sakes. Europe isn't a LAN Party.

Posted by: Official State Department Travel Advisory at March 31, 2016 01:21 PM (dciA+)

86
Let's see - I can either pass out advice that may actually help someone stay out of trouble or just take all of the phone calls from panicky tourists doing time in some Squalidvanian jail or laid up in the hospital.


I thought Squalidvania was a province of Peruvia.

Posted by: Mary Poppins' Practically Perfect Piercing at March 31, 2016 01:21 PM (X6fMO)

87 I'm suspicious of any time a woman is, without any prompting or obvious motivation, being super nice to me. Buying me free stuff? Clearly you're up to something, lady.

Sorry, just how my mind works.

Posted by: Christopher Taylor at March 31, 2016 01:21 PM (39g3+)

88 Yeah, I used to go to Europe all the time, and I stuck with hotel bars. There's no way they let scammers in there.

Posted by: Last at March 31, 2016 01:22 PM (8HiDF)

89 And there's Jay with the strikeout fail.

Posted by: johnd01 at March 31, 2016 01:22 PM (ukNFU)

90 In Peruvia ugly American men are considered quite desirable.

Posted by: Seamus Muldoon at March 31, 2016 01:22 PM (NeFrd)

91 Ah, yes. The "Champagne Hustle Bar" con. It was still working quite well in Paris in the early '90s.

Uh, I mean, that's what a friend told me.

Posted by: A Liberal AoS Reader, Really! at March 31, 2016 01:22 PM (7BtbV)

92 Its not at bad as the first draft, which warned ugly folks not to let foreigners do butt stuff to them, because they could be planting a delayed fuse bomb.

Posted by: Vashta Nerada at March 31, 2016 01:22 PM (Qvgg/)

93 Oh, and that mustache? We know you were going for the Tom Selleck look. What you got was Chester the Molester. Had to be said.

Posted by: State Dept. at March 31, 2016 01:22 PM (kTF2Z)

94 But isn't that con well enough known in the US?


Well, if you have served in the military.


Posted by: Justly Fletcher at March 31, 2016 01:22 PM (Z26Bf)

95 I'm suspicious of any time a woman is, without any prompting or obvious motivation, being super nice to me. Buying me free stuff? Clearly you're up to something, lady.

Sorry, just how my mind works.

Posted by: Christopher Taylor at March 31, 2016 01:21 PM (39g3+)
______

Being married to you must be a dream come true...

Posted by: Dixie Wetsworth, Florida at March 31, 2016 01:23 PM (BUIPT)

96 I'm suspicious of any time a woman is, without any prompting or obvious motivation, being super nice to me. Buying me free stuff? Clearly you're up to something, lady.
-------------

How do you feel about calls at 3:00 AM?

Posted by: Bill Clinton at March 31, 2016 01:23 PM (9mTYi)

97 Whatever you do, don't kill these swarthy hustlers. They are already dead inside.

Posted by: Wyatt Earp at March 31, 2016 01:23 PM (kFnmp)

98 >>Debbie Wasserman-Schultz, Rosa Delauro, and Susan Rice


That.
Right there.
That is about as mean to Susan Rice as anything I could have ever imagined.

Posted by: garrett at March 31, 2016 01:23 PM (mEs7I)

99 I wonder how who ever made them delete this gets paid their cut?

Posted by: Buzzsaw at March 31, 2016 01:23 PM (P/aDH)

100 Ace, for this occasion, you need to bring back your swarthy foreign cuckholder that you used to do on Twitter.

Posted by: OregonMuse at March 31, 2016 01:23 PM (wZfYc)

101 89 And there's Jay with the strikeout fail.
Posted by: johnd01 at March 31, 2016 01:22 PM (ukNFU)



Hangs head in shame.

Posted by: Jay Guevara at March 31, 2016 01:24 PM (oKE6c)

102 When traveling, under what circumstances is it okay to smack a bitch?

Posted by: Cicero (@cicero) at March 31, 2016 01:24 PM (8ZskC)

103 Oh, and that mustache? We know you were going for the Tom Selleck look. What you got was Chester the Molester. Had to be said.
Posted by: State Dept.
----------------

This is about me, isn't ?

Posted by: Cliff Clavin at March 31, 2016 01:24 PM (9mTYi)

104 I think the State Dept. has too much time on their hands...

Posted by: donna at March 31, 2016 01:25 PM (O2RFr)

105 Special addendum on State Department warning, from King Putt:

"Watch the downhill drift on that 7th hole at Prague's Karlstejn course"

Posted by: Sphynx at March 31, 2016 01:25 PM (OZmbA)

106 84 Posted by: The Dos Equis Guy at March 31, 2016 01:21 PM (kFnmp)


It was the best 45 days of mah life...

//Pvt Snuffy USA

Posted by: sven10077 at March 31, 2016 01:25 PM (g8Hfr)

107 No. This is actually an analogy for the larger Department-wide experience of Obama's State Department.



Every time someone offers them a metaphorical "Drink", they end up
being mugged. The problem is that since they are untutored,
inexperienced children (and yet, the 'smartest in the room'), they do
not learn the lesson, nor are they called to account.



See: John Kerry, "They're not supposed to do that!"





Posted by: Mike Hammer, etc., etc. at March 31, 2016 01:20 PM


Given the magnitude of the fail, it's more like they end up in a bathtub full of ice minus a kidney.

Posted by: RedMindBlueState at March 31, 2016 01:25 PM (bzd8I)

108 When she says "Me love you long time", it may not actually be love and/or a long time.

Posted by: Official State Department Travel Advisory at March 31, 2016 01:25 PM (ml1PM)

109 98 >>Debbie Wasserman-Schultz, Rosa Delauro, and Susan Rice


That.
Right there.
That is about as mean to Susan Rice as anything I could have ever imagined.

Posted by: garrett at March 31, 2016 01:23 PM (mEs7I)

Rosa DeLauro is aware of how ugly she is and uses it as a weapon. (Have you seen the supervillain clothes she wears?) Susan Rice is ugly on the inside and doesn't know it. (DW-S is just plain ugly.)

Posted by: joncelli, Bridge Troll and Crossbow Afficianado at March 31, 2016 01:25 PM (PjWy4)

110 #71 is so damn ugly, it needs to be taken out and shot.

Posted by: OregonMuse at March 31, 2016 01:25 PM (wZfYc)

111 You mean grifters and con artists use empty flattery and dishonesty to get what they want from people? The hell you say!

Posted by: Insomniac at March 31, 2016 01:26 PM (0mRoj)

112 Paola, Pacalo?... something like that.

Posted by: Mike Hammer, etc., etc. at March 31, 2016 01:26 PM (9mTYi)

113 #68, too.

Posted by: OregonMuse at March 31, 2016 01:26 PM (wZfYc)

114 36
Posted by: delayna at March 31, 2016 11:52 AM (KnC4k)



A much better reminder though would have been that there was a good chance the hot chick wasn't there of her own free will.
----------------
That is what Dubya said, and he was promptly criticized for being a party pooper. Actually, it was a good advisory, that overseas romance directed at foreigners is frequently a hustle. I suppose a SJW at State threw a fit and it got taken down.

Posted by: exdem13 at March 31, 2016 01:26 PM (ry4ab)

115 Pretty common in the military to have a less than good looking dude bring home a beautiful, young wife. He because part of the deal is he gets to bang a beautiful woman that he never would have had the chance to do and she to escape whatever hell hole she came from.

Of course after awhile in the States, these women see what they could have and leave Sailor Porky.

Posted by: Cheri at March 31, 2016 01:27 PM (oiNtH)

116 >>Debbie Wasserman-Schultz, Rosa Delauro, and Susan Rice



*waves*

I'm sure you've left me off the list because my Anthropology Professor Chic is totes hawt.

Posted by: Samantha Powers at March 31, 2016 01:27 PM (NOIQH)

117 If your boss says he's going to send you abroad, it doesn't mean what you might think.

Posted by: Seamus Muldoon at March 31, 2016 01:27 PM (NeFrd)

118 Oh, and that Axe body spray you've been using? It's not making you sexier. We know you're trying to cover up your ass-stank.

Posted by: State Department at March 31, 2016 01:27 PM (X6fMO)

119 112 Paola, Pacalo?... something like that.
Posted by: Mike Hammer, etc., etc. at March 31, 2016 01:26 PM (9mTYi)


Yeah, that was the one. Paolo. The dusky foreign seducer of white women. Effing hilarious.

Posted by: OregonMuse at March 31, 2016 01:27 PM (wZfYc)

120 Given the magnitude of the fail, it's more like they end up in a bathtub full of ice minus a kidney.
Posted by: RedMindBlueState
------

That would be a metaphor for the billions shoveled into the UN.

Posted by: Mike Hammer, etc., etc. at March 31, 2016 01:28 PM (9mTYi)

121 102 When traveling, under what circumstances is it okay to smack a bitch?

Posted by: Cicero (@cicero) at March 31, 2016 01:24 PM (8ZskC)


1) When she gets mouthy.

2) When she gives you that "look".

3) When she reaches for Trump.

Posted by: jwest at March 31, 2016 01:28 PM (Zs4uk)

122 "On your next trip to Slotvania it would behoove you NOT to take the offered treats....

the nice Slavic girl is not interested in communicating with you she wants your pelt."

They might take you to an abandoned factory to be tortured and murdered for the entertainment of rich psychopathic clients.

Posted by: Insomniac at March 31, 2016 01:28 PM (0mRoj)

123 I never pay for a drink! As Barry says: assless chaps pay for themselves! Mmmm - mmm - mmm!

Posted by: Reggie at March 31, 2016 01:28 PM (FXW24)

124
Ummmmm........ Are we sure that wasnt an internal memo directed at Hillary????

Posted by: fixerupper at March 31, 2016 01:28 PM (8XRCm)

125 111 Posted by: Insomniac at March 31, 2016 01:26 PM (0mRoj)


I know right?

//Bronko Bama

Posted by: sven10077 at March 31, 2016 01:29 PM (g8Hfr)

126 See, my problem is, I'm so damn good looking, when hot chicks come on to me, I can't tell if they're really into me, or if they hope to gain some advantage for their international crime/spy syndicate.

It's a burden, let me tell you.

Posted by: BurtTC at March 31, 2016 01:29 PM (TOk1P)

127 Screw starbucks in the side bar.

Posted by: Draki at March 31, 2016 01:29 PM (6DZIZ)

128 Same rules for meeting nice looking chicks in Europe are the same ones we have here. Except in the Ukraine. Whole different game there. Young women there are generally pretty very friendly. And you don't have to go to strip clubs to meet them.

Posted by: Michele Fields at March 31, 2016 01:29 PM (Fmupd)

129 118 Oh, and that Axe body spray you've been using? It's not making you sexier. We know you're trying to cover up your ass-stank.
Posted by: State Department at March 31, 2016 01:27 PM (X6fMO)

Ah, Axe: The Smell of New Jersey.

Posted by: joncelli, Bridge Troll and Crossbow Afficianado at March 31, 2016 01:29 PM (PjWy4)

130 I should point out that there are travel advisories on the private sector about female company and partying hearty in a relatively safe environment. Look for it, find it, use at one's own discretion. But still, being suddenly approached by a hot chick in Brussels or Shanghai is probably no different than being approached by a hot chick in Vegas. If it feels to good to be true, it probably is. Then again, for $200 it may be good enough. YMMV

Posted by: exdem13 at March 31, 2016 01:29 PM (ry4ab)

131 What's next, a tweet warning about that cute Thai gal you met at the night market being a lady-boy?

Posted by: Lizzy at March 31, 2016 01:29 PM (NOIQH)

132 If your boss says he's going to send you abroad, it doesn't mean what you might think.

Posted by: Seamus Muldoon at March 31, 2016 01:27 PM (NeFrd)

A warning to never rely on spellcheck.

Posted by: *Mikey NTH - Rent Your Hill To Die On from the Outrage Outlet! at March 31, 2016 01:30 PM (hLRSq)

133 Two words for you, Mr. Chubby Foreign Traveler:

Sit-ups.

/State Dept. advisory.

Posted by: Seamus Muldoon at March 31, 2016 01:30 PM (NeFrd)

134 115 Posted by: Cheri at March 31, 2016 01:27 PM (oiNtH)


The deuce you say!

//Saul Goodman's Twin outside Ft Hood's Gates

Posted by: sven10077 at March 31, 2016 01:30 PM (g8Hfr)

135 In other words, Rosie O'Donnell can check her White Male Privilege at the border.

Posted by: ALH at March 31, 2016 01:30 PM (uLuPn)

136 And there's Jay with the strikeout fail.

"Every strike brings me that much closer to the next home run." -- George "Babe" Ruth

Posted by: Duncanthrax the Bellicose at March 31, 2016 01:30 PM (ml1PM)

137 Whenever they try to pick me up I use the same line. "Sorry, furniture, I got nothing to give." Then I steal the soap.

Posted by: Lt. Thorn at March 31, 2016 01:31 PM (bGLSw)

138 See, my problem is, I'm so damn good looking, when hot chicks come on to me, I can't tell if they're really into me, or if they hope to gain some advantage for their international crime/spy syndicate.

It's a burden, let me tell you.


Posted by: BurtTC


*****


Dude!!! You too?

Posted by: Seamus Muldoon at March 31, 2016 01:31 PM (NeFrd)

139 Jesss... ju american women are so confidant, so sexiful... I need ju to pay my art school tuition this month. Is twenty two thousand dollars.

Posted by: Paolo the Wifef***er at March 31, 2016 01:31 PM (dciA+)

140 See, my problem is, I'm so damn good looking, when hot chicks come on to me, I can't tell if they're really into me, or if they hope to gain some advantage for their international crime/spy syndicate.
--------------

Skin-tight blue jeans. Works every time.

Posted by: Mac Davis at March 31, 2016 01:32 PM (9mTYi)

141 This is going to do wonders for passport-fee revenues.
Hey tell you what, don't go out to eat either. The cooks spit in the food.
And the ice cream in those carts? Worms in it.
They water the whiskey at The Snag.
Your church offering? World Council. Commies.
Nothing is what it seems, and just when you think you've got it figured, ka-boom.
Oh, and vote for us. We're totes honest.

Posted by: Stringer Davis at March 31, 2016 01:32 PM (xq1UY)

142 Being married to you must be a dream come true...

Married? I'm not even dating. Hence my suspicion.

A beautiful woman isn't going to come up to a random dude and be super nice to him without an agenda, period.

Posted by: Christopher Taylor at March 31, 2016 01:32 PM (39g3+)

143 We need to talk.

Posted by: Official State Department Travel Advisory at March 31, 2016 01:32 PM (dciA+)

144 Screw starbucks in the side bar.
Posted by: Draki at March 31, 2016 01:29 PM (6DZIZ)

-----

I didnt know Starbucks had a side bar. There's more than one??

Posted by: fixerupper at March 31, 2016 01:32 PM (8XRCm)

145 Clue :

Starbucks with a barista in the hot tub.

Posted by: Justly Fletcher at March 31, 2016 01:34 PM (Z26Bf)

146 Hilarious post.
Laughing while reading all the comments got rid of my migraine.
65 here today but rainy. Barometric pressure wreaking havoc on me in the form of intense migraines. :-(

Posted by: Sassy at March 31, 2016 01:34 PM (q7eWh)

147
Screw starbucks in the side bar.

I don't even need to read it. I guarantee it's some version of "our voices are raised too much in anger these days. We need to find the angels of our better selves and do what's right to move America forward. And that means exterminating those flag-humping, sister-fingering, Bible-clutching Trump teabagging Nazi Klansmen."

Posted by: State Department at March 31, 2016 01:34 PM (X6fMO)

148 Let's talk about your fashion sense. You need garanimals for adults. And what the fuck is that smell?

Posted by: State Dept. at March 31, 2016 01:34 PM (kTF2Z)

149
STATE DEPT MEMO:

Youre not really traveling in that out fit with those shoes. Right??

Posted by: fixerupper at March 31, 2016 01:34 PM (8XRCm)

150 "our voices are raised too much in anger these days. We need to find the angels of our better selves and do what's right to move America forward. And that means exterminating those flag-humping, sister-fingering, Bible-clutching Trump teabagging Nazi Klansmen."

Preach it brother!

Posted by: Lefties everywhere at March 31, 2016 01:35 PM (39g3+)

151 Ciao Paolo

We hang out at the tourist hotel, look for the signoras molti soldi, eh?

Posted by: Sphynx at March 31, 2016 01:35 PM (OZmbA)

152 During periodic Security training, we were constantly reminded that security breaches were inevitably brought about by women, alcohol, or money.

I once assured a trainer that I had never been compromised, but, had never been offered any of the above either.

Posted by: Mike Hammer, etc., etc. at March 31, 2016 01:35 PM (9mTYi)

153 We recommend washing your beef curtains before going abroad. Preferably with a wire brush.

Posted by: State Department at March 31, 2016 01:35 PM (gA69l)

154 I like your shirt. Is that Tommy Bahama? From the Outlet Store?

Posted by: State Department at March 31, 2016 01:35 PM (mEs7I)

155 Well, not surprised.

I've taken it as given for quite a while now that any remaining competent employees (who have not been driven out by the culture) are keeping their heads down and acting stupid to fit in.

Posted by: sock_rat_eez at March 31, 2016 01:35 PM (dhpfK)

156 Same scam as those Girl Scout cookies.

Posted by: Headless Body of Agnew at March 31, 2016 01:35 PM (FtrY1)

157 From the daily "Voice of the Martyrs" e-mail:

But while President Obama was watching baseball, Pastor Mario Felix Lleonart Barroso was sitting in a police station. Barroso, a Baptist pastor, blogger and friend of VOM, was thrown to the ground, handcuffed and detained at his home (which also serves as his church) just hours before Air Force One landed in Havana. A few hours after the president left Cuba, Pastor Barroso was set free and returned to his family. He was tired and weak, having fasted throughout his detention, but happy to be home.

Pastor Barroso is a bold pastor and outspoken advocate for religious freedom in his nation, and as such he is seen as a threat to the communist government of Fidel and Raul Castro. The Cuban government decided to make sure there would be no "distractions" during President Obama's visit, so Barroso and dozens of other dissidents were detained by police in the days leading up to the president's arrival.


Meanwhile, Obama was busy glad-handing at his 'Che in the background' photo op.

Posted by: OregonMuse at March 31, 2016 01:35 PM (wZfYc)

158 Hey traveler- you've got a piece of spinach in your teeth.

/State Dept. advisory

Posted by: Seamus Muldoon at March 31, 2016 01:36 PM (NeFrd)

159 So, are they providing any helpful advice, such as avoiding high zika virus areas, or, you know, places where ISIS might be planning another attack or kidnapping?

Posted by: Lizzy at March 31, 2016 01:36 PM (NOIQH)

160
Ah, Axe: The Smell of New Jersey.


I've been through Joisey. They'd have to market a "Snooki's skanky vag" to really get the smell right.

Posted by: Mary Poppins' Practically Perfect Piercing at March 31, 2016 01:36 PM (X6fMO)

161 Um ma'am, your deodorant ain't cutting it. Plus, mustache bleach is your friend.

Posted by: State Department at March 31, 2016 01:36 PM (gA69l)

162 153 We recommend washing your beef curtains before going abroad. Preferably with a wire brush.
Posted by: State Department at March 31, 2016 01:35 PM (gA69l)


Thanks, we got the memo.

Posted by: Huma at March 31, 2016 01:36 PM (wZfYc)

163 Off armless sock

Posted by: Soona at March 31, 2016 01:36 PM (Fmupd)

164 You gotta watch it truck stops too! Quartzite,Az is crawling with sexy, lethal lot lizards.

Posted by: Trucker BR549 at March 31, 2016 01:37 PM (FXW24)

165 Not into bestiality in America?
Don't go to a donkey show in Tijuana.

Posted by: State Department Travel Advisory at March 31, 2016 01:38 PM (LUtLU)

166 >>During periodic Security training, we were constantly reminded that security breaches were inevitably brought about by women, alcohol, or money.


This.

Posted by: Chelsea Elizabeth Manning at March 31, 2016 01:38 PM (mEs7I)

167 I started boycotting starbucks last year when their CEO said muslim wedding singers should go to jail/fined for refusing to perform at gay weddings.

I should've known DDs are better.

Posted by: Draki at March 31, 2016 01:38 PM (6DZIZ)

168 Beware of sex clubs offering free t-shirts (NSFW)....

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O09K8EmURhM

Posted by: Lizzy at March 31, 2016 01:38 PM (NOIQH)

169 Let me apply some sock-B-gon.

Posted by: OregonMuse at March 31, 2016 01:38 PM (wZfYc)

170 Posted by: Draki at March 31, 2016 01:29 PM (6DZIZ)

The Starbucks CEO already said he didn't want my WrongThought contaminated cash and I have chosen to honor his scruples.

Posted by: Polliwog the 'Ette at March 31, 2016 01:38 PM (GDulk)

171 DARWIN AWARD SEMIFINALIST....

http://tinyurl.com/zthhdfg

Posted by: Tex Lovera at March 31, 2016 01:38 PM (wtvvX)

172 Posted by: OregonMuse at March 31, 2016 01:35 PM (wZfYc)
============================================


I just sent a pack of Bibles to Cuba. Apparently they've got quite the church thing goin' on.

Posted by: grammie winger, watching the fig tree at March 31, 2016 01:39 PM (dFi94)

173 A threesome in Europe always involves two dudes.

Posted by: State Department Travel Advisory at March 31, 2016 01:39 PM (LUtLU)

174 The State Department should do an "age of consent" ad like they had on Reno 9/11.

Posted by: Lefties everywhere at March 31, 2016 01:39 PM (39g3+)

175 81
This video explains it all
https://youtu.be/j9yBPcn8IqU
---------
Testify brother Rock.

Posted by: exdem13 at March 31, 2016 01:40 PM (ry4ab)

176 Posted by: Polliwog the 'Ette at March 31, 2016 01:38 PM (GDulk)

Sounds reasonable. I've put lots of my dirty money in DDs. Not going back anytime soon.

Posted by: Draki at March 31, 2016 01:40 PM (6DZIZ)

177 >>During periodic Security training, we were constantly reminded that security breaches were inevitably brought about by women, alcohol, or money.

This.

Posted by: Chelsea Elizabeth Manning at March 31, 2016 01:38 PM (mEs7I)
_____

Im a rich chick with an alcohol problem. Im fuckin danger on legs, fellas!

Posted by: Dixie Wetsworth, Florida at March 31, 2016 01:40 PM (BUIPT)

178 DARWIN AWARD SEMIFINALIST....

http://tinyurl.com/zthhdfg
Posted by: Tex Lovera at March 31, 2016 01:38 PM (wtvvX)

-----

Damn. They call him Eileen now.

Posted by: fixerupper at March 31, 2016 01:41 PM (8XRCm)

179 164 You gotta watch it truck stops too! Quartzite,Az is crawling with sexy, lethal lot lizards.
Posted by: Trucker BR549 at March 31, 2016 01:37 PM (FXW24)

Truck stops are about the only place to get laid in Quatrzite. So I'm told.

Posted by: joncelli, Bridge Troll and Crossbow Afficianado at March 31, 2016 01:41 PM (PjWy4)

180 kind of odd but goes along with the general theme of 'good advice not allowed'

Posted by: Ben H at March 31, 2016 01:41 PM (gJEsZ)

181 128 Same rules for meeting nice looking chicks in Europe are the same ones we have here. Except in the Ukraine. Whole different game there. Young women there are generally pretty very friendly. And you don't have to go to strip clubs to meet them.

Posted by: Michele Fields at March 31, 2016 01:29 PM (Fmupd)


Interesting. Would a trip to Ukraine cost an arm and a leg?

Posted by: Big McLargehuge Mk I at March 31, 2016 01:41 PM (u9OP6)

182 A threesome in Europe always involves two dudes.
Posted by: State Department Travel Advisory at March 31, 2016 01:39 PM (LUtLU)

-----

At a minimum.

Posted by: Elton John at March 31, 2016 01:42 PM (8XRCm)

183 164 Posted by: Trucker BR549 at March 31, 2016 01:37 PM (FXW24)


A lot like Texarkana....

you need a stick...preferably not attached to one's body.

Posted by: sven10077 at March 31, 2016 01:42 PM (g8Hfr)

184 >>During periodic Security training, we were constantly reminded that
security breaches were inevitably brought about by women, alcohol, or
money.


Huma, check out this warning!

Posted by: Hillary! at March 31, 2016 01:42 PM (NOIQH)

185 To be honest, I'm not sure what the ruckus is all about, but this is an extremely slow news day


Why do people say this, why?

That's just taunting the Universe to say Challenge Accepted.

Posted by: alexthechick - Destroyer of Gaia and Seductress of Savagery at March 31, 2016 01:42 PM (mf5HN)

186 170 Posted by: Polliwog the 'Ette at March 31, 2016 01:38 PM (GDulk)


Quite...I go there is one of us is sick on the road...

otherwise I can make better spiced cider cheaper.

Posted by: sven10077 at March 31, 2016 01:42 PM (g8Hfr)

187 No hustlers here at Man's Country! Come join Barry, Rahm and the boys for rollicking and frolicking!

Posted by: Man's Country at March 31, 2016 01:43 PM (FXW24)

188 I've been married to my beautiful American wife for over thirty years. I'm starting to suspect she might be a deeply imbedded, Czech Secret Service sleeper cell operative. I'm trying not to act like I'm on to her.

Posted by: Seamus Muldoon at March 31, 2016 01:43 PM (NeFrd)

189 Hmmmmm
T bought me a drink a long time ago
I paid her college off, gave her all my pay checks for 16+ years, and I'm paying for her kid
Guess it's true

Posted by: Navycopjoe at March 31, 2016 01:43 PM (FOThK)

190 And why is the State Department talking about international travel anyway? I could understand if they were warning me about Illinois or Kansas... but why would anyone want to travel to Illinois or Kansas, so...

I think Rick Perry would have gotten somewhere if he talked about eliminating the State Department. We got 50 state governments already.

Posted by: BurtTC at March 31, 2016 01:43 PM (TOk1P)

191 How many times are gov workers are warned about honey traps? Yet, they still go it.

Some category of workers have to report in advance if they date foreigners. Yet, they dont and get fire. This includes CIA stationed abroad. Not sure why they dont report it. Are they embarrassed? Is just dating a foreigner a career killer?

Posted by: Trumpanarchy With a Wang! at March 31, 2016 01:44 PM (iQIUe)

192 I spend all my money on booze, gambling and girls. I waste the rest.

Posted by: Joe Hallenbeck at March 31, 2016 01:44 PM (MSiSP)

193 And why is the State Department talking about international travel anyway? I could understand if they were warning me about Illinois or Kansas... but why would anyone want to travel to Illinois or Kansas, so...

I think Rick Perry would have gotten somewhere if he talked about eliminating the State Department. We got 50 state governments already.
Posted by: BurtTC at March 31, 2016 01:43 PM (TOk1P)



Okay, that right there is funny.

Posted by: alexthechick - Destroyer of Gaia and Seductress of Savagery at March 31, 2016 01:45 PM (mf5HN)

194
What's next, a tweet warning about that cute Thai gal you met at the night market being a lady-boy?


You mean that's not an eight inch clitoris?

Posted by: Charlie Sheen at March 31, 2016 01:45 PM (4WhSY)

195 185. Meh
Like you wouldn't do anything for a really tasty lemon bar

Posted by: Navycopjoe at March 31, 2016 01:45 PM (FOThK)

196 "Vultures -- vultures everywhere..."

Posted by: Qoheleth at March 31, 2016 01:45 PM (iIzG7)

197 Didnt Malcom X's creepy grandson get suckered in Mexico City and when he refused to pay up for the overpriced booze they beat him to death?

Posted by: Trumpanarchy With a Wang! at March 31, 2016 01:45 PM (iQIUe)

198 Interesting. Would a trip to Ukraine cost an arm and a leg?
Posted by: Big McLargehuge Mk I at March 31, 2016 01:41 PM (u9OP6


------------

Bad sock fail by me. Seriously though. Eastern European women are a whole other breed of cat. The young ones are very aggressive in their sexuality.

Posted by: Soona at March 31, 2016 01:46 PM (Fmupd)

199 Same rules for meeting nice looking chicks in Europe
are the same ones we have here. Except in the Ukraine. Whole
different game there. Young women there are generally pretty very
friendly. And you don't have to go to strip clubs to meet them.

Posted by: Michele Fields at March 31, 2016 01:29 PM (Fmupd)


Do they bruise easy?


Asking for a friend...

Posted by: BurtTC at March 31, 2016 01:46 PM (TOk1P)

200 I'm trying not to act like I'm on to her.
Posted by: Seamus Muldoon at March 31, 2016 01:43 PM (NeFrd)


Careful, I think I saw this episode of The Americans last night. Her name is not Elizabeth Jennings is it?

Posted by: Arson Wells at March 31, 2016 01:46 PM (/E+t2)

201 I just sent a pack of Bibles to Cuba. Apparently they've got quite the church thing goin' on.


Posted by: grammie winger

They need copies of the liturgy, too.
It's a regular Cuban Missal Crisis.

Posted by: Stringer Davis at March 31, 2016 01:46 PM (xq1UY)

202
I always love when guys whine, she was just using me for my money! Well, you were just using her for her looks. Seems like an even trade to me.

Posted by: Trumpanarchy With a Wang! at March 31, 2016 01:47 PM (iQIUe)

203 So I thought Trump was a longshot but I do think the abortion comment officially made him unelectable.

Trump had an outside shot BECAUSE he wasn't a traditional SoCon. The politics of abortion is what turns off HUGE swaths of the country.

That is why Republicans CAN win in blue states once they promise to remain neutral on abortion.

Trump can no longer expand the electoral map now that he sounds like Akin all to placate the pro-life community.

What he said though is common sense if you're actually serious about being pro-life. Of course there would have to be a legal penalty for the mother.

Posted by: Swingline at March 31, 2016 01:47 PM (e6bkB)

204 152
During periodic Security training, we were constantly reminded that
security breaches were inevitably brought about by women, alcohol, or
money.



------------------
The classic honey pot spy trick is a classic because it WORKS.

Posted by: exdem13 at March 31, 2016 01:47 PM (ry4ab)

205 Interesting. Would a trip to Ukraine cost an arm and a leg?Posted by: Big McLargehuge Mk


I hate that expression. Not everyone has functioning arms, you know.

Posted by: michelle fields at March 31, 2016 01:47 PM (fbovC)

206
Interesting. Would a trip to Ukraine cost an arm and a leg?

Posted by: Big McLargehuge Mk I at March 31, 2016 01:41 PM (u9OP6)
_____________________-

That was hurtful....

Posted by: Michelle Fields at March 31, 2016 01:48 PM (HSmrB)

207 "The classic honey pot spy trick is a classic because it WORKS."

The question afterwards is always whether or not she was worth it. I'm guessing usually not.

Posted by: Qoheleth at March 31, 2016 01:48 PM (iIzG7)

208 At least this has nothing about trump.
My iPad doesn't autocorrect & capitalize his name & I really don't care.

Posted by: Carol at March 31, 2016 01:48 PM (sj3Ax)

209 I DID NOT GET A HOT UKRAINIAN CHICK!

//Michelle FIelds

Posted by: sven10077 at March 31, 2016 01:48 PM (g8Hfr)

210 202 I always love when guys whine, she was just using me for my money! Well, you were just using her for her looks. Seems like an even trade to me.

Pls stop talking about my marriage

Posted by: Navycopjoe at March 31, 2016 01:48 PM (FOThK)

211 Next thing you'll tell me is that strippers don't really like me for me, but just my money??!? What has this world come to

Posted by: Monsieur Moo Moo at March 31, 2016 01:49 PM (0LHZx)

212 >>During periodic Security training, we were constantly reminded that
security breaches were inevitably brought about by women, alcohol, or
money.

>>The classic honey pot spy trick is a classic because it WORKS.

I believe Randall P. McMurphy addressed this issue when speaking with his admittance shrink.

Posted by: JackStraw at March 31, 2016 01:49 PM (/tuJf)

213 Official U.S. State Department Travel Advisory:

Discreetly check the Adam's apple before proceeding.

Posted by: torquewrench at March 31, 2016 01:49 PM (noWW6)

214 No, the women in Slobovia really, honestly don't have adam's apples.

Posted by: State Department at March 31, 2016 01:49 PM (PjWy4)

215 I'm trying not to act like I'm on to her.

Posted by: Seamus Muldoon at March 31, 2016 01:43 PM (NeFrd)





Careful, I think I saw this episode of The Americans last night. Her name is not Elizabeth Jennings is it?

Posted by: Arson Wells at March 31, 2016 01:46 PM (/E+t2)


Ooh, don't say more! I haven't watched last night's episode yet.


I do think I would give up state secrets to the lovely Mrs. Jennings. She can kill me after... I wouldn't mind.

Posted by: BurtTC at March 31, 2016 01:50 PM (TOk1P)

216 "Official U.S. State Department Travel Advisory: Discreetly check the Adam's apple before proceeding."

If the five-o'clock shadow isn't a dead giveaway, you mean.

Posted by: Qoheleth at March 31, 2016 01:50 PM (iIzG7)

217 Ace,
American Thinker usually has good articles.

Posted by: Carol at March 31, 2016 01:50 PM (sj3Ax)

218 The question afterwards is always whether or not she was worth it. I'm guessing usually not.

Sometimes it IS worth it!

http://tinyurl.com/go95kb8

Posted by: State Department at March 31, 2016 01:50 PM (gA69l)

219 "Not a '10' in the US? Then not a 10 overseas. Beware of being lured
into buying expensive drinks or worse -- being robbed," the
controversial tweet said.



Sounds like a warning to stay the hell away from Roppongi's hostess clubs in Japan.

Posted by: MWR, Proud Tea(rrorist) Party Assault Hobbit & Vaginassassin, aka Beth at March 31, 2016 01:50 PM (4df7R)

220 Traveler Advisory: If you want to look young and thin hang out with old fat guys.

Posted by: Seamus Muldoon at March 31, 2016 01:50 PM (NeFrd)

221 216 "Official U.S. State Department Travel Advisory: Discreetly check the Adam's apple before proceeding."

If the five-o'clock shadow isn't a dead giveaway, you mean.

Except in Italy.....

Posted by: donna at March 31, 2016 01:51 PM (O2RFr)

222
Eastern European women are a whole other breed of cat. The young ones are very aggressive in their sexuality.


**looks in mirror**

**checks wallet**

**looks in mirror again**

**puts on glasses and looks in mirror again**

**slumps in chair, chugs bottle of Fernet while crusing "Rule 34" website**

Posted by: Mary Poppins' Practically Perfect Piercing at March 31, 2016 01:51 PM (X6fMO)

223 >>>Ooh, don't say more! I haven't watched last night's episode yet.


Fear not my friend, I never reveal spoilers. That drives me INSANE.

Posted by: Arson Wells at March 31, 2016 01:51 PM (/E+t2)

224 I have a feeling no swarthy foreigners are buying drinks for plain, middle aged women wearing no expensive jewelry or clothes and probably accompanied by a husband and son, so if I go to anywhere outside the U.S. anytime soon. I doubt I'll have a problem.

Posted by: FenelonSpoke at March 31, 2016 01:52 PM (w4NZ8)

225 I guess this warning is about strip-clubs or other clip-houses where attractive women suggest that you buy them a champagne and then it turns out that champagne was $200 for a mini-bottle?
=======



Ok. But first, .......

Posted by: rickb223 at March 31, 2016 01:52 PM (hpmES)

226 "Sometimes it IS worth it!"

I understand those five words were the official after-action report filed by the Secret Service after hobnobbing with some of the local talent on an overseas trip.

Posted by: Qoheleth at March 31, 2016 01:52 PM (iIzG7)

227 I hate that expression. Not everyone has functioning arms, you know.

Posted by: michelle fields at March 31, 2016 01:47 PM (fbovC)


Have you checked into an after-market arm?

Posted by: *Mikey NTH - Rent Your Hill To Die On from the Outrage Outlet! at March 31, 2016 01:52 PM (hLRSq)

228 219. Sounds like a warning to stay the hell away from Roppongi's hostess clubs in Japan

Sailors on liberty call that "the place to go"

Posted by: Navycopjoe at March 31, 2016 01:53 PM (FOThK)

229 222
Eastern European women are a whole other breed of cat. The young ones are very aggressive in their sexuality.


**looks in mirror**

**checks wallet**

**looks in mirror again**

**puts on glasses and looks in mirror again**

**slumps in chair, chugs bottle of Fernet while crusing "Rule 34" website**
Posted by: Mary Poppins' Practically Perfect Piercing at March 31, 2016 01:51 PM (X6fMO)

Stop living my life!

Posted by: Insomniac at March 31, 2016 01:53 PM (0mRoj)

230 Just, pleeeease, Lord, let my son be well behaved in Europe so I don't have to go over there are retrieve him!

Posted by: FenelonSpoke at March 31, 2016 01:53 PM (w4NZ8)

231 Heh. My wife just looked up from her laptop and said, "Czech operative, eh?"


I guess I'm busted.

Posted by: Seamus Muldoon at March 31, 2016 01:53 PM (NeFrd)

232 Have you checked into an after-market arm?>>>

Uh OH the start of another arms race.

Posted by: Buzzsaw at March 31, 2016 01:54 PM (P/aDH)

233 "Not a '10' in the US? Then not a 10 overseas. Beware of being lured into buying expensive drinks or worse -- being robbed," the
controversial tweet said.


Sounds like a warning to stay the hell away from Roppongi's hostess clubs in Japan.




Thai lady-boi clubs, ala The Hangover, pt 2.

Posted by: rickb223 at March 31, 2016 01:54 PM (hpmES)

234


Video added is awesome


Man he used to be so funny. He used to have this bit about how people always talk about their mamas but no one thanks their daddies


Daddy sure is bright in here, thanks for the light!

Or thanks daddy for knocking out that rent!


And if you call your grandma "mama" and your mama "Pam" you are going on the pole ( be a stripper)

Posted by: ThunderB at March 31, 2016 01:54 PM (zOTsN)

235 Beauty is only skin deep but ugly goes all the way to Europe.

Posted by: Anonosaurus Wrecks at March 31, 2016 01:54 PM (Nwg0u)

236 Dont go changing to try to please me.

Ya know cos whos in charge around here anyway?

Posted by: DM at March 31, 2016 01:55 PM (9Oz8g)

237 by: Swingline at March 31, 2016 01:47 PM (e6bkB)

Apparently you know about the pro-life position as well as Trump.

Posted by: Joe Hallenbeck at March 31, 2016 01:55 PM (MSiSP)

238
Will the Americans kill Pastor Ted?

Will someone finally call childrens services on them for leaving their kids alone almost every freaking night as they screw and kill people?

Posted by: Trumpanarchy With a Wang! at March 31, 2016 01:55 PM (iQIUe)

239 231 Heh. My wife just looked up from her laptop and said, "Czech operative, eh?"


I guess I'm busted.
Posted by: Seamus Muldoon at March 31, 2016 01:53 PM (NeFrd)

Dammit, now I have to put some pants on.

Posted by: State Department at March 31, 2016 01:55 PM (PjWy4)

240 Posted by: Insomniac at March 31, 2016 01:53 PM (0mRoj)

The sexually aggressive women probably don't care if you are supposedly plain, and they guess if you're an American you probably have money.

Posted by: FenelonSpoke at March 31, 2016 01:55 PM (w4NZ8)

241 Have you checked into an after-market arm?>>>

Uh OH the start of another arms race.


*The sound of one hand clapping.

Posted by: rickb223 at March 31, 2016 01:55 PM (hpmES)

242
Have you checked into an after-market arm?

Posted by: *Mikey NTH - Rent Your Hill To Die On from the Outrage Outlet! at March 31, 2016 01:52 PM (hLRSq)
_____________________

Yeah,, I've been shopping around. I kinda' like the ones with the hook hand, I think they're sexxxy....

Posted by: Michelle Fields at March 31, 2016 01:55 PM (HSmrB)

243 Men don't get described as "10s"


Women do. So it seems to me this warning is directed at women in Europe. Arab men hit on big girls. Just saying

Posted by: ThunderB at March 31, 2016 01:56 PM (zOTsN)

244 >>My wife just looked up from her laptop and said, "Czech operative, eh?"


Checked it yesterday. It was working fine.




Posted by: Paolo at March 31, 2016 01:56 PM (mEs7I)

245 old trick.
Ginger Ale Girl:
Girl in the strip club asks you to buy her a drink, you say ok, she orders a champagne cocktail which costs you maybe eight bucks, the champagne bottle contains ginger ale. Everyone wins except you and maybe the girl, since she probably has a boyfriend who spends all her money.

Posted by: Satan of Cloggenstein Vt at March 31, 2016 01:56 PM (qSIlh)

246 I'm laughing so hard right now. Somebody tweeted what we have all thought when we had some American kid wander into the American Citizens Service office, smelling like a sewer, and asking for money to get home because he got rolled by that nice girl at the bar. Kos was the problem spot when I worked in Athens. I must have had fifty guys come in, with the same scenario. The regulations require that we call home and get mom and dad to pay for a ticket home-the govt isn't supposed to bail you out of stupidity. (Remember, this was 27 years ago. I am fairly certain things have changed drastically in Consular Affairs since I was there.)

Most of those kids REALLY did not want you to call their parents.

Posted by: Moki at March 31, 2016 01:56 PM (7q2ch)

247 241 Have you checked into an after-market arm?>>>

Uh OH the start of another arms race.


*The sound of one hand clapping.
Posted by: rickb223 at March 31, 2016 01:55 PM (hpmES)

*whiff whiff whiff whiff*

Posted by: Insomniac at March 31, 2016 01:56 PM (0mRoj)

248 I'd wouldn't touch E. Euro women with a 10 Foot Pole...or a 10 foot Czech for that matter.

Posted by: Monsieur Moo Moo at March 31, 2016 01:57 PM (0LHZx)

249 I hate that expression. Not everyone has functioning arms, you know.

Posted by: michelle fields at March 31, 2016 01:47 PM (fbovC)


Have you checked into an after-market arm?

*****


Maybe take a look at the army surplus store?

Posted by: Seamus Muldoon at March 31, 2016 01:57 PM (NeFrd)

250 And if you call your grandma "mama" and your mama "Pam" you are going on the pole ( be a stripper)

Posted by: ThunderB at March 31, 2016 01:54 PM (zOTsN)


Sad, because it's true.

Posted by: BurtTC at March 31, 2016 01:58 PM (TOk1P)

251
Doesn't this go against the whole "you're as beautiful as you *think* you are" crap?

Today we live in a world that says you are whatever you think you are. You can be a woman trapped in a man's body. You can be a Size 2 trapped in a Size 14. In Joe Biden's case, you can be a smart person trapped in a imbecile's body. And so on.

Posted by: intellectual nudity at March 31, 2016 01:58 PM (IV1em)

252 What's the spy acronym for why people flip again?

MICE?

Posted by: alexthechick - Destroyer of Gaia and Seductress of Savagery at March 31, 2016 01:58 PM (mf5HN)

253 *whiff whiff whiff whiff*



That sounds more like a Cubs batter.

Posted by: rickb223 at March 31, 2016 01:58 PM (hpmES)

254 Yeah,, I've been shopping around. I kinda' like the ones with the hook hand, I think they're sexxxy....

Posted by: Michelle Fields at March 31, 2016 01:55 PM (HSmrB)

-----

Hey.... Im assuming since youve lost your left arm...... you are all right now.

Posted by: fixerupper at March 31, 2016 01:59 PM (8XRCm)

255 219
"Not a '10' in the US? Then not a 10 overseas. Beware of being lured

into buying expensive drinks or worse -- being robbed," the

controversial tweet said.


Sounds like a warning to stay the hell away from Roppongi's hostess clubs in Japan.
------------
Go to a club in Roppongi or Ikebukuro if your Japanese friend taking you has a club membership. You are then cool and only get gouged at the usual rate. (Tokyo people spend money like New Yorkers, you have been warned.) Otherwise, no. If the doorman has tattoos and a "Whachoo doin' here roundeye?" expression, oh hell no.

Now, the basic neighborhood hostess bar is OK. The hostesses are there to help you party down, brighten the mood, and will help encouraging you to buy booze and snacks. However, they are NOT hos and will NOT go home with anyone on the first night.

Posted by: exdem13 at March 31, 2016 01:59 PM (ry4ab)

256 A friend of a friend went to Prague. The guy was bi polar and not on meds and making poor decisions. Someone offered him drugs. He went off with them and ended up beaten, robbed ad naked out in the country. I've known other people who went looking for drugs in foreign countries which is incredibly stupid.

Posted by: Trumpanarchy With a Wang! at March 31, 2016 01:59 PM (iQIUe)

257 >>Have you checked into an after-market arm?


The new ones are supposed to be limber and more realistic.

Posted by: garrett at March 31, 2016 01:59 PM (mEs7I)

258 249 I hate that expression. Not everyone has functioning arms, you know.

Posted by: michelle fields at March 31, 2016 01:47 PM (fbovC)


Have you checked into an after-market arm?

*****


Maybe take a look at the army surplus store?
Posted by: Seamus Muldoon at March 31, 2016 01:57 PM (NeFrd)

She can keep them in her armoire.

Posted by: Insomniac at March 31, 2016 01:59 PM (0mRoj)

259 Think about it


This is a travel advisory for young AMERICAN women traveling in Europe


Hello

Posted by: ThunderB at March 31, 2016 01:59 PM (zOTsN)

260 This is a travel advisory for young AMERICAN women traveling in Europe

Liam Neeson hardest hit.

Posted by: Wyatt Earp at March 31, 2016 02:00 PM (gA69l)

261

Who is having trouble traveling in Europe these days. Why young women. Why is that, why refugees

Posted by: ThunderB at March 31, 2016 02:00 PM (zOTsN)

262 She can keep them in her armoire.
Posted by: Insomniac at March 31, 2016 01:59 PM (0mRoj)

----

Shes conservative... well sort a....

She would use an armory.

Posted by: fixerupper at March 31, 2016 02:00 PM (8XRCm)

263
Considering how much Aunt Esther Obama travels this must happen to her all of the time.

Posted by: TheQuietMan at March 31, 2016 02:01 PM (493sH)

264 I knew a guy who went to Thailand in 1998 for some, er, research.

He is still missing.
Or maybe he just likes it there.

Posted by: navybrat at March 31, 2016 02:01 PM (8QGte)

265 "Come on folks, give this brave young journalist a hand!"

Posted by: Seamus Muldoon at March 31, 2016 02:01 PM (NeFrd)

266 >>This is a travel advisory for young AMERICAN women


Stay away from me - e.

Posted by: Guess Who at March 31, 2016 02:01 PM (mEs7I)

267

Who describes men as "10s"?

Posted by: ThunderB at March 31, 2016 02:01 PM (zOTsN)

268
Hey.... Im assuming since youve lost your left arm...... you are all right now.

Posted by: fixerupper at March 31, 2016 01:59 PM (8XRCm)
______________________________

That too was hurtful....

~sniff-sniff~

Posted by: Michelle Fields at March 31, 2016 02:01 PM (HSmrB)

269 250. My rule of thumb for naming daughters is try it with "and next on stage is ______"
If it works, get a new name

Should have done that before I named nck Diamond
(Her name isn't that btw)

Posted by: Navycopjoe at March 31, 2016 02:01 PM (FOThK)

270 This is a travel advisory for young AMERICAN women traveling in Europe


"Dirty Rotten Scoundrels" - Steve Martin - Michael Cain

Posted by: Justly Fletcher at March 31, 2016 02:01 PM (Z26Bf)

271 So really attractive people don't have to be worried about ripped off while travelling by swarthy foreigners in other countries?

Posted by: FenelonSpoke at March 31, 2016 02:01 PM (w4NZ8)

272 "This is a travel advisory for young AMERICAN women traveling in Europe"

Waiting for some airline to make "Taken" the mandatory in-flight movie for transatlantic flights from the States to Europe...

Posted by: Qoheleth at March 31, 2016 02:02 PM (iIzG7)

273 I knew a guy who went to Thailand in 1998 for some, er, research.

He is still missing.
Or maybe he just likes it there.
Posted by: navybrat at March 31, 2016 02:01 PM (8QGte)

-----

I forgot all about Honest Cloud.

Posted by: fixerupper at March 31, 2016 02:02 PM (8XRCm)

274
There was a guy shot and killed in a home invasion robbery. He won about 400k before taxes on some fantasy five game. His first name was Craigory. I shouldnt laugh but what sort of moron mom came up with that name?

Posted by: Trumpanarchy With a Wang! at March 31, 2016 02:02 PM (iQIUe)

275 >>I have a feeling no swarthy foreigners are buying drinks for plain, middle aged women....

Oh yes, that happens - middle-aged women hook up with young swarthy men in the ME. Just as lucrative as hot young women seducing men in Europe. In a previous job I traveled to Dubai with my boss. She embarked on a 3 week fling with a local tour guide she met in the first few days. Ran off with him almost every night. Was even sending him presents from the US after she returned home. It was quite a spectacle.

Posted by: Hillary! at March 31, 2016 02:02 PM (NOIQH)

276 Why would they have a advisory against someone who they claim isn't a problem?

Posted by: Skip at March 31, 2016 02:02 PM (fizMZ)

277 230 Just, pleeeease, Lord, let my son be well behaved in Europe so I don't have to go over there are retrieve him!
Posted by: FenelonSpoke at March 31, 2016 01:53 PM (w4NZ

Fenelon, he most likely won't be in the places where these "ladies" ply their trade. They tend to congregate in the adult areas, where there is money to be taken.

But if something happens, contact AmCit Services in the country in which it happened, and put out an alert on your child, before you go. The Consular officer is obligated to check on the welfare of American Citizens if a concern is raised by a family member. That can start the ball rolling on keeping him safe.

Posted by: Moki at March 31, 2016 02:02 PM (7q2ch)

278 Michelle Fields sobs uncontrollably every time she eats elbow macaroni.

Posted by: Seamus Muldoon at March 31, 2016 02:02 PM (NeFrd)

279 If a woman in almost any foreign country tells you that she's horny, it is safe to presume that it means the same thing there tat it does here. But it may not be true.

if a woman in Moosesylvania tells you that she's horny, it may very well be true but things do get lost in the translation.

Posted by: Official State Department Travel Warning: at March 31, 2016 02:02 PM (326rv)

280 Who describes men as "10s"?
Posted by: ThunderB at March 31, 2016 02:01 PM (zOTsN)

---

big anus

Posted by: fixerupper at March 31, 2016 02:03 PM (8XRCm)

281 That sock down your pants isn't fooling anyone, you know.

Posted by: The State Department at March 31, 2016 02:03 PM (X6fMO)

282 Who describes men as "10s"?


HELLO!!1!

Posted by: Anderson Cooper at March 31, 2016 02:03 PM (12kBq)

283 Think about it


This is a travel advisory for young AMERICAN women traveling in Europe




Sounds like the lead in to Criminal Minds: Beyond Borders.
"Every year 60 million people leave the protection of our borders".

My question? WHY? I am fully capable of being mugged in Dallas. Why pay to get mugged in Mumbai?

Posted by: rickb223 at March 31, 2016 02:03 PM (hpmES)

284 271 So really attractive people don't have to be worried about ripped off while travelling by swarthy foreigners in other countries?

No, I don't.

Posted by: Wyatt Earp at March 31, 2016 02:03 PM (gA69l)

285 You know the Cruz adultery scandal? Now, that's a Cuban missle crisis!

Posted by: Anonosaurus Wrecks at March 31, 2016 02:04 PM (Nwg0u)

286 This Michelle Fields stuff...

can't we have an armistice?

Posted by: Bandersnatch at March 31, 2016 02:04 PM (1xUj/)

287
I wished I had peeked into that website before they shut it down that people used to deal drugs. It was big and the quantities were YUGE. Curious how they bought and sold, the prices and the amounts.

Posted by: Trumpanarchy With a Wang! at March 31, 2016 02:04 PM (iQIUe)

288
Who describes men as "10s"?

Posted by: ThunderB at March 31, 2016 02:01 PM (zOTsN)
__________________________

I wouldn't have a clue...

Posted by: Shep Smith at March 31, 2016 02:04 PM (HSmrB)

289 >>Who describes men as "10s"?


A 2 will do.

Posted by: Barney Frank at March 31, 2016 02:05 PM (OZmbA)

290 >>This is a travel advisory for young AMERICAN women traveling in Europe



Oh, so a "Hostel 2" scenario?

Posted by: Hillary! at March 31, 2016 02:05 PM (NOIQH)

291 I thought the State Department tweet was directed at the Obama Administration itself, rating it on a 1-10 scale against previous administrations:

"Not a '10' in the US? Then not a 10 overseas. Beware of being lured into thinking you know how to conduct diplomacy, and don't sign treaties you know the Senate would never confirm."

Posted by: zombie at March 31, 2016 02:05 PM (jBuUi)

292 That too was hurtful....

~sniff-sniff~



Posted by: Michelle Fields at March 31, 2016 02:01 PM (HSmrB)


Look on the bright side - your deodorant will last twice as long. Think of the savings!

Posted by: *Mikey NTH - Rent Your Hill To Die On from the Outrage Outlet! at March 31, 2016 02:05 PM (hLRSq)

293 His first name was Craigory. I shouldnt laugh but what sort of moron mom came up with that name?

*****


I saw that and thought the same thing. Then I realized his name was Craigory Burch, Jr. So he was named after his dad.

Posted by: Seamus Muldoon at March 31, 2016 02:05 PM (NeFrd)

294 Pro golfer , Robert Allenby got jumped and robbed after visiting a strip club in Honolulu just over a year ago.

Posted by: Joe Hallenbeck at March 31, 2016 02:06 PM (MSiSP)

295

A lot of the mugging in places like Paris is being done by one particular group. Just saying

Posted by: ThunderB at March 31, 2016 02:06 PM (zOTsN)

296 This Michelle Fields stuff...

can't we have an armistice?
Posted by: Bandersnatch at March 31, 2016 02:04 PM (1xUj/)

----

Im going out on a limb here.... but.... youll never get them to lay down their Armalites.

Posted by: fixerupper at March 31, 2016 02:06 PM (8XRCm)

297 260 This is a travel advisory for young AMERICAN women traveling in Europe

Liam Neeson hardest hit.
Posted by: Wyatt Earp at March 31, 2016 02:00 PM (gA69l)

We are SO tired of cleaning up after this guy. I mean, dude, get a hold of your bitches!

Posted by: State Department at March 31, 2016 02:06 PM (PjWy4)

298 A lot of the mugging in places like Paris is being done by one particular group. Just saying

The Amish.

Posted by: Wyatt Earp at March 31, 2016 02:06 PM (gA69l)

299 291 I thought the State Department tweet was directed at the Obama Administration itself, rating it on a 1-10 scale against previous administrations:

"Not a '10' in the US? Then not a 10 overseas. Beware of being lured into thinking you know how to conduct diplomacy, and don't sign treaties you know the Senate would never confirm."
Posted by: zombie at March 31, 2016 02:05 PM (jBuUi)


That brought tears to my eyes!

Posted by: Moki at March 31, 2016 02:07 PM (7q2ch)

300 You've REALLY got to watch out for those Scandinavian women.

Posted by: Tiger Woods at March 31, 2016 02:07 PM (OZmbA)

301 This Michelle Fields stuff...



can't we have an armistice?

Posted by: Bandersnatch at March 31, 2016 02:04 PM (1xUj/)


If Miss Fields would bake us some of her famous cookies, we'll stop. I'll even supply her with baking soda. Arm [ampersand] Hammer, of course.

Posted by: BurtTC at March 31, 2016 02:07 PM (TOk1P)

302 Well, all joking aside, don't ever let that Fields woman put her arm on you.

Posted by: Justly Fletcher at March 31, 2016 02:07 PM (Z26Bf)

303 246
Most of those kids REALLY did not want you to call their parents.
------------
I just bet they did not want you to!
Yeah, stupidity abroad is proof of Franklin's proverb about fools and the school of experience.

Posted by: exdem13 at March 31, 2016 02:07 PM (ry4ab)

304 I live in NW WI. I heard my very first Trump radio ads today. It was Ivanka saying how awesome her Dad is, basically. Cruise has been running ads here for weeks. Have heard nothing from Kasich.

Posted by: Muad'dib at March 31, 2016 02:08 PM (ByLlW)

305
Some journalists write.

Some journalists talk

Some put themselves in arms way.

Posted by: fixerupper at March 31, 2016 02:08 PM (8XRCm)

306 I could see the need for a travel warning for young American females. After all this is when people are applying for study abroad courses for the summer. Europe is different now. Really different

Posted by: ThunderB at March 31, 2016 02:08 PM (zOTsN)

307 271 So really attractive people don't have to be worried about ripped off while travelling by swarthy foreigners in other countries?
Posted by: FenelonSpoke


Of course not. Look what happened to Grace Kelly. She was a '10," and the guy who picked her up turned out to be the Prince of a sovereign nation.

That's what happens to every beautiful girl overseas. Nothing to worry about.

Posted by: zombie at March 31, 2016 02:08 PM (jBuUi)

308
Michelle Fields sobs uncontrollably every time she eats elbow macaroni.

Posted by: Seamus Muldoon at March 31, 2016 02:02 PM (NeFrd)
______________________________

That was most hurtful...

~sniff-sniff~

Posted by: Shep Smith at March 31, 2016 02:08 PM (HSmrB)

309 Posted by: Moki at March 31, 2016 02:02 PM (7q2ch)

Thanks; I think he'll be o,k, I was sort of kidding. He's very shy and with a group who won't be going into bars. They are not allowed to drink, About a week or more before his trip he showed me a short video, "Worst school trip disasters ever" and one scenario was where a kid went to a bar, picked up a girl, the teacher on the trip said he could take the girl to the teacher's room and the teacher secretly filmed them having sex. (They didn't show the sex, just gave the account) I don't think this trip will have such irresponsible ignoramuses as chaperones.

Posted by: FenelonSpoke at March 31, 2016 02:08 PM (w4NZ8)

310 298 Jobs Frenchmen wont do.

Posted by: steevy at March 31, 2016 02:09 PM (B48dK)

311 I missed the earlier pizza-centric thread...


So, I'll just say-

the Best Pizza in the World is at Conan's Pizza in Austin, TX.

If you're ever in Austin, try their-

"Savage and Barbaric Cosmic Pie"

And you will achieve cosmic enlightenment.

Perfect crust, perfect sauce (and the proper amount), real cheese, fresh ingredients and quality meats.

Yum!




Oh, and if you want a great fancy Meican dinner while you're there, try "Fonda San Miguel".

Posted by: naturalfake at March 31, 2016 02:09 PM (0cMkb)

312 These arm puns have really got my nose out of joint!

Posted by: Duke Lowell at March 31, 2016 02:09 PM (kTF2Z)

313 303 Posted by: exdem13 at March 31, 2016 02:07 PM (ry4ab)


Eh old Ben was the ORIGINAL party animal...

I'm certain he had so much honey his British, French, Spanish, and Dutch codename was "Grizzly Bear"

Posted by: sven10077 at March 31, 2016 02:09 PM (g8Hfr)

314 That was most hurtful...

~sniff-sniff~
Posted by: Shep Smith at March 31, 2016 02:08 PM (HSmrB)

----

I found it humerus.

Posted by: fixerupper at March 31, 2016 02:09 PM (8XRCm)

315 294 Pro golfer , Robert Allenby got jumped and robbed after visiting a strip club in Honolulu just over a year ago.

Even more pathetic
It was actually a wine bar

Posted by: Navycopjoe at March 31, 2016 02:10 PM (FOThK)

316
Look on the bright side - your deodorant will last twice as long. Think of the savings!

Posted by: *Mikey NTH - Rent Your Hill To Die On from the Outrage Outlet! at March 31, 2016 02:05 PM (hLRSq)
____________________________

It will last longer than that.... I can't reach my underarm...

Posted by: Shep Smith at March 31, 2016 02:10 PM (HSmrB)

317 Yup. This is the "Taken" travel warning

Posted by: ThunderB at March 31, 2016 02:10 PM (zOTsN)

318 >>These arm puns have really got my nose out of joint!


They don't tickle your funny-bone?

Posted by: Hillary! at March 31, 2016 02:10 PM (NOIQH)

319
I'm staying an arm's length from these puns.

Posted by: Guy Mohawk at March 31, 2016 02:10 PM (ODxAs)

320
a topless wine bar?

Posted by: intellectual nudity at March 31, 2016 02:10 PM (IV1em)

321 I thought the State Department tweet was directed at
the Obama Administration itself, rating it on a 1-10 scale against
previous administrations:



"Not a '10' in the US? Then not a 10 overseas. Beware of being lured
into thinking you know how to conduct diplomacy, and don't sign
treaties you know the Senate would never confirm."

Posted by: zombie at March 31, 2016 02:05 PM (jBuUi)


Reads like a really REALLY specific horoscope. As in:

Leo, Beware of being lured
into thinking you know how to conduct diplomacy, and don't sign
treaties you know the Senate would never confirm.

Posted by: BurtTC at March 31, 2016 02:10 PM (TOk1P)

322 Powerball and stripclubs. Someone somewhere is gonna get lucky, it just won't be you

Posted by: tmitsss at March 31, 2016 02:11 PM (BnAGc)

323 320
a topless wine bar?


They sell Three Penis Wine.

Posted by: Wyatt Earp at March 31, 2016 02:11 PM (gA69l)

324 Some journalists write. Some journalists talk Some put themselves in arms way.Posted by: fixerupper

Your words are hurtful. I think I'll sue. Perhaps your attorney can twist my arm for a lowered settlement.

Posted by: michelle fields at March 31, 2016 02:11 PM (fbovC)

325 291
I thought the State Department tweet was directed at the Obama
Administration itself, rating it on a 1-10 scale against previous
administrations:



"Not a '10' in the US? Then not a 10 overseas. Beware of being lured
into thinking you know how to conduct diplomacy, and don't sign
treaties you know the Senate would never confirm."
---------------
Zombie wins this thread.

Posted by: exdem13 at March 31, 2016 02:11 PM (ry4ab)

326 Anybody read the Starbucks CEO link in the sidebar? I haven't bothered.


The "talk about race" fiasco was appreciated, in that it sort of confirmed just how clueless, dumbed-down, and alien the US "elite" has become. I think I'd already sold my S-bux stock by then (did fine with it), but I would have then if I still had it.


I did needle a few young employees with it that week - they were only vaguely aware of the whole thing, and to my shock and satisfaction they had a generally "WTF? sounds stupid" reaction to it all.

Posted by: rhomboid at March 31, 2016 02:11 PM (QDnY+)

327
317 Yup. This is the "Taken" travel warning

Posted by: ThunderB at March 31, 2016 02:10 PM (zOTsN)


which is... if you are related in any way to Liam Neeson... don't travel?

Posted by: Don Quixote at March 31, 2016 02:11 PM (qf6WZ)

328 Then there was the time I woke up in a Hong Kong back alley, naked, getting licked by cats .... Good times .... Good times ...

Posted by: Ignoramus at March 31, 2016 02:12 PM (r1fLd)

329

Knock it off Shep!!!

Posted by: Michelle Fields at March 31, 2016 02:12 PM (HSmrB)

330
What kind of robber would jump somebody after going to a strip club? Those dudes have no money, they already been robbed by the strippers.

Posted by: Guy Mohawk at March 31, 2016 02:12 PM (ODxAs)

331 Friends, Romans, Countymen, lend me an arm!

- Michelle Fields

Posted by: Anonosaurus Wrecks at March 31, 2016 02:12 PM (Nwg0u)

332 Posted by: Wyatt Earp at March 31, 2016 02:11 PM (gA69l)

No, that's the EBDBBnB

Posted by: joe, living dangerously at March 31, 2016 02:12 PM (KUaJL)

333 320. a topless wine bar

Which serves spam pupus
You know....this could work here

Posted by: Navycopjoe at March 31, 2016 02:12 PM (FOThK)

334 Dana Loesch said Michelle has been forced out of her apartment and phone has been shut down from calls

Posted by: Skip at March 31, 2016 02:13 PM (fizMZ)

335 No, that's the EBDBBnB

Eskimo brothers unite!

Posted by: Wyatt Earp at March 31, 2016 02:13 PM (Agn5J)

336 They really should issue a travel warning for young women

Posted by: ThunderB at March 31, 2016 02:13 PM (zOTsN)

337 So is there actually no sex in the champagne room or is that what Rock wanted his then-wife to believe?

Posted by: Bandersnatch at March 31, 2016 02:14 PM (1xUj/)

338 306-Bingo.

Again, it was 27 years ago, but I had very few young women come in with problems. I had one poor lady with severe schizophrenia, who had taken her 6 year old to Athens, "looking for her father," and ended up trying to sell the little girl on the streets. She would come to AmCit services each day, to check in, but on the last day, took off all her clothes and started screaming. That precious little girl just picked up the clothes, and tried to put them on her mommy. We were able to get them local help at that point, which was a relief. But the rolled? All young men.

Now, with the "migrant" problem, there will be an increase in sexual assault, rape, etc, and frankly, the Consulate is ill equipped to deal with those issues. Consular officers don't get adequate training to handle those kinds of traumas, and don't really have the time to be adequately trained for it, under current training schedules. This was pre-emptive, but badly done.

Posted by: Moki at March 31, 2016 02:14 PM (7q2ch)

339 a topless wine bar?



Dadeee! Look at meeeee!

Oh, wrong whine.

Posted by: rickb223 at March 31, 2016 02:14 PM (hpmES)

340 334 Posted by: Skip at March 31, 2016 02:13 PM (fizMZ)


Poor dear....

//Joe the Plumber

Posted by: sven10077 at March 31, 2016 02:14 PM (g8Hfr)

341 Posted by: Navycopjoe at March 31, 2016 02:10 PM (FOThK)

I think that was his initial story. From what I understand he also visited a strip club. That of course may also just be talk. Of course you would know better than me. Something funny was going on and they didn't continue to report on it on the mainland.

Posted by: Joe Hallenbeck at March 31, 2016 02:15 PM (MSiSP)

342
I like Michelle Fields reporting.

She used to be well articulated before her attempted murder.

Posted by: fixerupper at March 31, 2016 02:15 PM (8XRCm)

343
Dana Loesch said Michelle has been forced out of her apartment and phone has been shut down from calls

Quick, let's set up a gofuckme page for Michelle Fields!

Posted by: intellectual nudity at March 31, 2016 02:15 PM (IV1em)

344 Nood

Posted by: Skip the thread sniper at March 31, 2016 02:15 PM (fizMZ)

345 The Wine Bar is nowhere near as devastating a submission move as a good old fashioned Arm Bar.

Posted by: Michele Fields at March 31, 2016 02:15 PM (mEs7I)

346 Posted by: Michelle Fields at March 31, 2016 02:12 PM (HSmrB)

-----------

Be honest, Michele. Did you tell a little fibia?

Posted by: Duke Lowell at March 31, 2016 02:16 PM (kTF2Z)

347 Otoh, telling that cute foreign girl chatting you up that 'I have a hundred dollar bill sticking out of my ass' will make her very anxious to get your pants off.

*hopefully she won't use a razor blade to get there*

Also, soaking your dollar bills in cayenne pepper is a good way to get that stripper to shed her g-string.

*be sure to have a good health insurance plan*

Posted by: GnuBreed at March 31, 2016 02:16 PM (gyKtp)

348 You mean that's not an eight inch clitoris?


Posted by: Charlie Sheen at March 31, 2016 01:45 PM (4WhSY)

You know why women can't measure?
It's because all their lives they've been told that
________________________

is eight inches.

Posted by: ALH at March 31, 2016 02:17 PM (uLuPn)

349 is there actually no sex in the champagne room or is that what Rock wanted his then-wife to believe?

Bandersnatch


Yes there is plenty of sex going on in the champagne room. Lots.

Posted by: Joe Hallenbeck at March 31, 2016 02:17 PM (MSiSP)

350 Dana Loesch said Michelle has been forced out of her apartment and phone has been shut down from calls

Posted by: Skip at March 31, 2016 02:13 PM (fizz)



I'm sure they mean her no arm.

Posted by: naturalfake at March 31, 2016 02:17 PM (0cMkb)

351 341. Long story short
Got drunk at a wine bar and was flashing his money and being loud
Asked some dudes where he can get a hooker
They took him to a dark skate park and whooped him and took his cash
Then some meth heads took his cell phone, jewelry, and credit cards

Posted by: Navycopjoe at March 31, 2016 02:18 PM (FOThK)

352
I've got good news and bad news... The good news is just six more short weeks and I'll be out of this body cast (yea me!). Bad news is I'm still gonna' have to wear this inverted funnel over my head so I don't lick myself when I'm sleeping...

Posted by: Michelle Fields at March 31, 2016 02:18 PM (HSmrB)

353 So is there actually no sex in the champagne room or is that what Rock wanted his then-wife to believe?Posted by: Bandersnatch at March 31, 2016 02:14 PM (1xUj/)Isn't that the whole point of going to a strip club? To get laid? If it's naked women you're after, the internet is a mouse click away.

Posted by: Mary Poppins' Practically Perfect Piercing at March 31, 2016 02:20 PM (X6fMO)

354 Would a trip to Ukraine cost an arm and a leg?

Eastern Europe is pretty cheap to visit, once you're there. And they lurve Americans. And the young ladies are outrageously beautiful. Sorry ladies, the young guys are... less attractive :/

Problem is they all smoke like chimneys, can drink Dean Martin under the table, and have been brought up without almost any discernable moral system.

Posted by: Christopher Taylor at March 31, 2016 02:23 PM (39g3+)

355 Posted by: Navycopjoe at March 31, 2016 02:18 PM (FOThK)

Thanks. Likely the hooker request got turned into strip club as is apt to happen upon repetition of a story.

Posted by: Joe Hallenbeck at March 31, 2016 02:23 PM (MSiSP)

356 Was the State Dept tweet directed at women or was it directed at men? I think it was directed at men, who are assumed to be buying the drinks.

Posted by: Jim at March 31, 2016 02:35 PM (golr6)

357 The last form of discrimination on this planet will be "Ugly Discrimination"

Posted by: Mark Green at March 31, 2016 02:38 PM (e8kgV)

358 Magnum PEE EYE......

whats the difference between a Dill Pickle and a Chickpea?

never had a dill pickle on my face.................

Posted by: saf at March 31, 2016 02:43 PM (qKiBT)

359 I was sorta suckered into a $20 lap dance in New York. I told the stripper I couldn't believe the dance she was doing was only $20. She said, "Oh no, honey, we're about four songs in. We're up to $80 now, sweetheart." I gasped, shrugged and said "OK." Men are easy.

Posted by: CrustyB at March 31, 2016 02:47 PM (GvSpB)

360 I'm pretty sure the State tweet was aimed at men - like don't go overseas and think that hottie at the bar in Prague is really, really into American men even though you can't get laid at home in Buffalo. Don't know why the feminists got so worked up.

Also, there is most definitely sex in the champagne room. Many, maybe most, strippers will bang if you have enough money. I've done this in strip clubs in NYC, Vegas, Tampa, Raleigh, and Key West. I mean, not every stripper, but plenty of them will. #notallstrippers

Posted by: Um at March 31, 2016 02:56 PM (Pl1FV)

361 This is a very common scam in Budapest.

I saw a vague reference to it in my guidebook, but it didn't say what actually happens.

Then I was walking around in Budapest and two girls approached me on the street, started talking to me, and almost immediately suggested we go have a drink. They were kinda cute, but not gorgeous. In any case, it all felt odd to me, so I demurred, at which point the lead girl(doing all the talking) became VERY insistent. Of course, then I knew it was a scam.

I left and didn't find out what exactly the scam was . . .until I later talked to someone else who fell for it. A group of guys were approached by a girl and convinced to go to a bar for a drink. The bar was up an elevator, which should have been the first warning sign. After they all had their drink, the bill came, about 100 euros for a drink. The girl feigns shock, acting like she's just as surprised by it as they are.(obviously she is in on it and will be reimbursed, plus her cut). And the bar has big bouncers to make sure you pay. They will also escort you to the ATM. Very considerate.

Posted by: Bill at March 31, 2016 03:35 PM (Wg3o4)

362 This has long been a play in the book of intelligence agencies because it works, especially to get blackmail against married people. And try they do. No surprise that criminals would try it.

Honey traps are basically the real life version of Black Widow, minus the assassin part. Think Elizabeth from The Americans, or Anna Chapman.

Posted by: FailRabbit at March 31, 2016 04:21 PM (CwMlq)

363 Man, President Clinton gets left alone for a minute and then the State Department starts warning everyone.

Posted by: Maxims at March 31, 2016 09:28 PM (T3hOB)

364 I've worked at Foggy Bottom. Trust me, there are no 10s at Department of State. Also, there are no mirrors in the rest rooms.

Posted by: DL at April 01, 2016 05:01 AM (ycgMR)

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