EMT 2/27/16 Eff you too, TSA. [krakatoa]

NYC this past week.

Worst visit ever. Then spent more times in airports than I would have if I'd just driven the 630 miles.

TSA was a dream as usual.

- First, 80% of the people were getting waved by the cancer-box and through the metal detector. Not I.

- Cancer-box director wouldn't pass me through until my feet were absolutely perfectly aligned with the cartoon feet on the floor.

- Luggage x-ray fascist decided the screwdriver I'd packed in my carry-on for the past 2 years with no issue now needed extra scrutiny. Apparently none of the other 4 TSA gestapo lazing around had the qualifications to check my baggage, and this guy keeps passing through other luggage while my carry-on sits.

I finally tell them pointedly that they need to move their asses, I have a flight to catch. He gets all butthurt of course.

Asks me if there's anything sharp in my luggage. I said I'm sure you'll figure it out, it's a toolbag you're rooting through, so you'll have to take your chances.

He makes the same silly rationalization that it's to keep us safe. I explain the latest report that showed in the past year, the TSA has improved all the way from failing to find 97% of contraband in security tests, to failing to find 95%. "Not really a lot to hang your shiny hat on, now is it?" I ask.

"Well we caught this" he says, waving the screwdriver triumphantly.

"Measure it" sez I.

He then proceeds to measure and measure and measure.

"Is 7 inches the cutoff?" he yells to one of his fellows, and they grunt an affirmative.

And then he measures some more.

"Measure all you want, chief. It's not going to magically grow another eighth of an inch."

He finally puts it back in my bag, and we go back our separate ways.

Had my plane not have been boarding, I would have loved to engage him on why an eighth of an inch is the difference between an everyday tool that 99.999% of the people use with no fear of death, and an implement of terror and mass destruction.

I am so done with the charade.

Posted by: Open Blogger at 06:00 AM

Comments

(Jump to bottom of comments)

1 Good morning horde

Posted by: Skip at February 27, 2016 06:02 AM (fizMZ)

2 Haven't flown since before 9/11, can't see any trips in the future where I can't drive to. It's all smoke and mirrors anyway.

Posted by: Skip at February 27, 2016 06:05 AM (fizMZ)

3 Sow, Reap.

Posted by: Snorri Sturluson at February 27, 2016 06:05 AM (n4SUB)

4 I'd get the others but as I can't go set their alarm clocks it would be useless.

Posted by: Skip at February 27, 2016 06:06 AM (fizMZ)

5 No work today and I was up at 4 am. Funny how that works.

Posted by: Molly k. at February 27, 2016 06:10 AM (4aaDj)

6 Watching Foxes with legs, new woman did say shooter had a AUTOMATIC weapon. Idiots who don't know should shut up.

Posted by: Skip at February 27, 2016 06:12 AM (fizMZ)

7 Morning, Horde.

Off to read the ONT content. BRB.

Posted by: fluffy at February 27, 2016 06:14 AM (UhKT0)

8 Good Saturday Morning to You!

Posted by: French Jeton at February 27, 2016 06:14 AM (WMvHw)

9
"Is 7 inches the cutoff?"

Man, if I had a nickle for every time I've heard that.....

Posted by: Laurie David's Cervix at February 27, 2016 06:25 AM (kdS6q)

10
Poll round-up:

Alabama Republican Opinion Savvy Trump +13
Rubio 2nd, Cruz distant 3rd.

Virginia Republican Roanoke College Trump +23
Cubans tied.

Massachusetts Republican WBUR/MassINC Trump +21
Rubio and Kasich tied. Cruz 4th.

Florida Republican PPP(D) Trump +20
Rubio 2nd. Cruz -- you just don't wanna know.

Illinois Republican WeAskAmerica Trump +17
Rubio 2nd. And WeAskAmerica? Really?

Posted by: Laurie David's Cervix at February 27, 2016 06:26 AM (kdS6q)

11 They pretend to work, we actually do pay them.

Posted by: Retard Strength Trumps Smart Power at February 27, 2016 06:26 AM (RKQ/v)

12
Polls HTH:

Florida: Trump vs. Clinton PPP(D) Trump +2
Florida: Rubio vs. Clinton PPP (D) Clinton +2
Florida: Cruz vs. Clinton PPP (D) Clinton +8

Posted by: Laurie David's Cervix at February 27, 2016 06:27 AM (kdS6q)

13 During a passage through LA airport, three twenty-year old Japanese female tourists were in front of me in line. As we approached the metal detector, the TSA agent instructed them to remove their sweatshirts and sweaters. In a flash, the girl in front of my had her sweatshirt off. Other than her sandals, the sweatshirt was the only thing she was wearing. The TSA agent went into panic mode. The girl was standing there, beautiful and totally at ease. For once, the TSA performed did a good job.

Posted by: French Jeton at February 27, 2016 06:29 AM (WMvHw)

14
DAY 1,208

255 to go (328 to Inauguration Day )

Muzzies, Marxists, Maoists, Mau-Maus, MFM's, Moochelle, Mao-suits, McCain's, McConnell's, Mahdi megatons, machiavellian Mississippi mudslingers, McAuliffe's, Maduro's, MIRV's, Mexifornians, McKesson's, Mizzou malefactors, mewling mattress-myth manufacturers, marriage maimers, menacing Mozillan 'mo's, Myrmidons, Mugwumps, Monrovian microbes, mutants, malcontents, malthusians, maniacs, malignant medical mandates, martial law, miscreants, microaggressors, minions, maladjusted masochistic multiculturalists, momzers, mamalukes, mooks, mopes, mariuoli, meeskeits, maricons, marauders, malodorous militants, menstruating mons veneri, malfunctioning Moron microsites and miscellaneous meshugas notwithstanding.

Posted by: J.J. Sefton at February 27, 2016 06:32 AM (zLP1L)

15 krakatoa, totally agree with you that TSA is a complete waste of time and money, staffed by the dumbest people in America who couldn't otherwise be hired to do anything more difficult than putting special sauce on Big Macs, but if you travel that much with shiny tools that the squirrels in the blue shirts can find you should really spring for the Pre Check.

Posted by: turfmann at February 27, 2016 06:32 AM (jtNgL)

16
Krakatoa: You were in town and didn't call me?

Tsk, tsk, tsk.

Such a shonda.

Posted by: J.J. Sefton at February 27, 2016 06:32 AM (zLP1L)

17
Lost in the media splash that was the Gov Christie cannonball into the
political pool, current Maine Gov. Paul LePage also endorsed
Donald Trump yesterday.

Posted by: Laurie David's Cervix at February 27, 2016 06:33 AM (kdS6q)

18
So, do I add "Mario" to the "M" list?

Posted by: J.J. Sefton at February 27, 2016 06:33 AM (zLP1L)

19 I used to hold to the rule that if I could drive somewhere in 12 hours or less and there is no reason to be in a rush, I'd drive instead of flying. I've recently upped that to 15.

Posted by: Stephanie Richer at February 27, 2016 06:33 AM (A00OP)

20 17
Lost in the media splash that was the Gov Christie cannonball into the
political pool, current Maine Gov. Paul LePage also endorsed
Donald Trump yesterday.
Posted by: Laurie David's Cervix at February 27, 2016 06:33 AM (kdS6q)

Let's see. A failed governor who never got above like 2-3% and is generally reviled is a "game-changer?" And how many people know who LePage is? Most would say tape or glue.

Pfft.

Posted by: J.J. Sefton at February 27, 2016 06:35 AM (zLP1L)

21 totally agree with you that TSA is a complete waste of time and money, staffed by the dumbest people in America

-
Excuse me.

- GOPe

Posted by: The Great White Snark at February 27, 2016 06:35 AM (Nwg0u)

22 One day these Federal strip searches at airports will be only a historical footnote.

Posted by: Eric Clickone at February 27, 2016 06:37 AM (S+58G)

23
Pfft.
Posted by: J.J. Sefton

The online and on air reaction of the GOPe Axis of Evil yesterday shows otherwise.

Brandy snifters were dropped and pantaloons soiled from Harvard Yard to Herald Square.

Posted by: Laurie David's Cervix at February 27, 2016 06:41 AM (kdS6q)

24 Every damn time I fly I get hauled out of the cancer box for a pat down.

The excuse, every time, is some variation on "we picked up something in your pocket(s) and we told you to empty your pockets before entering the cancer box."

Which, of course, I had done. And every time, they grope me for ten minutes and find nothing but lint.

It has to be something about the cargo pockets. I usually wear cargo shorts or cargo pants to fly, because the extra pockets come in handy for all the crap you need close at hand while traveling.

Posted by: WhatWhatWhat? at February 27, 2016 06:41 AM (HMt16)

25 When the TSA "agents" look like The People of Wal-Mart, you know you're in trouble.

Posted by: WhatWhatWhat? at February 27, 2016 06:42 AM (HMt16)

26 "9

"Is 7 inches the cutoff?"

Man, if I had a nickle for every time I've heard that.....

Posted by: Laurie David's Cervix at February 27, 2016 06:25 AM (kdS6q)"

I can work with less than 7 inches.

Posted by: Lorena Bobbit at February 27, 2016 06:43 AM (QHgTq)

27 Molly K - Same thing happened to me today, I normally get up at 4am and didn't get to bed until after the ONT started, was still up at 4am.

Posted by: Skip at February 27, 2016 06:44 AM (fizMZ)

28 TSA precheck and Global Entry for the win. Well actually, TSA being defunded and those ass clowns being unemployed for the win.

Just RTB'd from a cross country trip. At the airport in Denver one guy was actually sleeping at the entry checkpoint. The TSA at TRI basically gave everyone the precheck waiver.

If its a 12 hour drive or less; I'll drive. I hate the clown show that is the TSA with the heat of a thousand suns.

Posted by: CrotchetyOldJarhead at February 27, 2016 06:47 AM (oUvFa)

29
p0wned:

Hackers compromised a UC Berkeley computer network containing the financial data of 80,000 people, the university said Friday, exposing both Social Security and bank account numbers of students, alumni, employees and former employees.

Those affected were mostly people who received electronic fund transfers, such as financial aid awards and work-related reimbursements. Vendors whose financial information was in the system for payment purposes also were affected.

Posted by: Laurie David's Cervix at February 27, 2016 06:47 AM (kdS6q)

30 Here is something to amuse the horde:

A 1980 election Jimmy Carter TV commercial. While these jackasses are expressing their fears of a Reagan Presidency, keep in mind that Ronald Reagan started off a quarter century of prosperity and won the Cold War without firing a shot.

https://youtu.be/MhkL-mji9UE

Posted by: Obnoxious A-Hole at February 27, 2016 06:48 AM (QHgTq)

31 Here's a disaster waiting,
Seattle business men want Livable Schedule
Limits of hrs between shifts
Week notice for work schedule
11 hrs maximum
Have fun with that Seattle, you know if you limit when businesses can operate that would make it fairer, limiting hours the man can make the people work.

Posted by: Skip at February 27, 2016 06:49 AM (fizMZ)

32 Posted by: Laurie David's Cervix at February 27, 2016 06:41 AM

*snort*

Posted by: CrotchetyOldJarhead at February 27, 2016 06:50 AM (oUvFa)

33 They cut my "TSA approved" locks off. They use a bolt cutter for a master key, I guess.

Posted by: BignJames at February 27, 2016 06:51 AM (x9c8r)

34
Meanwhile, this:

San Francisco Public Library hosts drag queen story hour for children

Radar Productions, a group giving voice to queer writers and artists, will be hosting Honey Mahogany at the Eureka Valley Harvey Milk Memorial Library, March 12, noon to 2 p.m, in the heart of the Castro District. Dressed in fabulous drag-queen garb and full makeup, Honey will be reading stories, painting children's faces and passing out cookies.

http://tinyurl.com/zpnhkjr

"Mommy, why does that lady have a doodle?"

Posted by: Laurie David's Cervix at February 27, 2016 06:51 AM (kdS6q)

35 ONT stuff, kid makes a American flag with plastic soldiers spray painting them red, white and blue, and did it for a school project.

Posted by: Skip at February 27, 2016 06:54 AM (fizMZ)

36 Heading to Phoenix for a wedding in May.. we haven't flown in maybe 10 years.. it will be interesting! I cannot imagine having to fly for business on a regular basis.. used to do that, but that was all pre 9/11.

Morning, horde!

Posted by: Chi-Town Jerry at February 27, 2016 06:54 AM (UpGcq)

37
In Mitt Romney news:

Pony dressed as unicorn escapes, prances around town for several hours

The horse had been "posing with kids" during a photo shoot, when she "became frightened" and broke away from her owner. She ran to the streets of Madera Rancheros, at which point onlookers began phoning the California Highway Patrol, reporting that they were seeing a unicorn trotting about the city.

"The search became so desperate," KTLA 5 reports, "that the local police had to use a helicopter and thermal imaging to locate the pony, which was hiding out in an orchard."

http://tinyurl.com/hcdty67

"Take the shot!"

Posted by: Laurie David's Cervix at February 27, 2016 06:55 AM (kdS6q)

38
The sexiest American professions on Tinder

Women right-swipe the most on the profiles of pilots and entrepreneurs. Men, on the other hand, opted for physical therapists and interior designers.

http://blog.gotinder.com/

Posted by: Laurie David's Cervix at February 27, 2016 06:58 AM (kdS6q)

39 13 During a passage through LA airport, three twenty-year old Japanese female tourists were in front of me in line. As we approached the metal detector, the TSA agent instructed them to remove their sweatshirts and sweaters. In a flash, the girl in front of my had her sweatshirt off. Other than her sandals, the sweatshirt was the only thing she was wearing. The TSA agent went into panic mode. The girl was standing there, beautiful and totally at ease. For once, the TSA performed did a good job.
Posted by: French Jeton

Pics??

Posted by: Puddleglum at February 27, 2016 06:58 AM (zVLMU)

40 g'mornin, Horde.

24 degrees, clear(ish), all is well.

Me, I like taking road trips, and I got nothing going on that requires haste. Three days instead of six hours ? Cool ! See the sights, meet the people.
Interstates are nice if ya like concrete and big trucks.
Potato skins, frozen egg custard, what kinda bbq ya make in this state ? Moar coffee !

/rant

Posted by: sock_rat_eez at February 27, 2016 06:58 AM (Z8DIA)

41 It's rabbit season
No its pony season
Rabbit season!
Pony season!
RABBIT SEASON!
PONY SEASON!
PONY SEASON!
ok, it's pony season, you may fire when ready

Posted by: Skip at February 27, 2016 07:00 AM (fizMZ)

42 Sock rat eez, we share a bit in common.

Posted by: Jinx the Cat at February 27, 2016 07:02 AM (l1pkh)

43 "More bwiefing?"

"More briefing."

Posted by: Corona at February 27, 2016 07:02 AM (ragzU)

44 One day, In California, prancing unicorns will no longer be thought of as a euphemism for a sexual fetish.

Posted by: Eric Clickone at February 27, 2016 07:02 AM (S+58G)

45 Feel sorry for the unicorn. Shouldnt a pony have pony friends? It looked so lonely.

Posted by: Bruce With a Wang! at February 27, 2016 07:03 AM (iQIUe)

46 Eff you too, TSA.

Evidently, airlines used to issue pre-check certifications to frequent travelers but the TSA decided that that was unsafe so they have taken over that role. Now, people have to apply with the TSA to get pre-check status and be fingerprinted and such.

Just another one of Bush's enduring turds left stinking up the nation. I am still dumbfounded that anyone took that pathetic 9/11 commission seriously. What a friggin pathetic (and borderline criminal) joke that was.

Posted by: ThePrimordialOrderedPair at February 27, 2016 07:06 AM (zc3Db)

47 Glad to hear it, Jinx !

Posted by: sock_rat_eez at February 27, 2016 07:07 AM (Z8DIA)

48 Feel sorry for the unicorn. Shouldnt a pony have pony friends? It looked so lonely.

Posted by: Bruce With a Wang! at February 27, 2016 07:03 AM (iQIUe)

Don't worry. Once its nose starts flashing bright red it will have all the pony friends in the world.

Posted by: ThePrimordialOrderedPair at February 27, 2016 07:08 AM (zc3Db)

49 One day Prancing Reindeer will be considered an insult to the Prophet Mohammed and it will be illegal to allow your reindeer to prance in public.

Posted by: Eric Clickone at February 27, 2016 07:10 AM (S+58G)

50 Airport security: America's Maginot Line.

Posted by: FireHorse at February 27, 2016 07:11 AM (m2CBz)

51 Posted by: ThePrimordialOrderedPair at February 27, 2016 07:06 AM

The only thing that 'commission' was ever intended to do was to embarrass Bush and leverage that opportunity to embiggen the gummint; you know, the union tools that provide auto deduction funding for the Dems.

The GOP is so pathetic and the Dems are just plain evil. A perfect combination. WASTF.

Posted by: CrotchetyOldJarhead at February 27, 2016 07:11 AM (oUvFa)

52
Feel sorry for the unicorn...It looked so lonely.
Posted by: Bruce With a Wang!

You'll see green alligators and long-necked geese
Some humpty backed camels and some chimpanzees
Some cats and rats and elephants, but sure as you're born
You're ain't gonna see no unicorn

Man, was that a bleak song for kids. Right down there with "Puff the Magic Dragon".

Posted by: Laurie David's Cervix at February 27, 2016 07:12 AM (kdS6q)

53 The only thing that 'commission' was ever intended to do was to embarrass Bush and leverage that opportunity to embiggen the gummint; you know, the union tools that provide auto deduction funding for the Dems.

Yep. And Bush seemed happy about it all. What a douchebag.

The GOP is so pathetic and the Dems are just plain evil. A perfect combination. WASTF.

Posted by: CrotchetyOldJarhead at February 27, 2016 07:11 AM (oUvFa)

Uh ... yep.

Posted by: ThePrimordialOrderedPair at February 27, 2016 07:14 AM (zc3Db)

54 Seven years ago, in a rash moment, I told my wife I would build her a steam shower. The bill has come due at long last.

It is all framed out, and roughing in the plumbing and electrical now. I'm thinking of using a Kerdi system enclosure for the vapor.

There are times I wish I was a rich man......*

*not complaining, really.

Posted by: Jinx the Cat at February 27, 2016 07:15 AM (l1pkh)

55 Sounds like you're the one who's butthurt.

Posted by: xpo172 at February 27, 2016 07:17 AM (1PDwB)

56 "America's Maginot Line"

A line that deserves immortality at the very least.

Posted by: sock_rat_eez at February 27, 2016 07:17 AM (Z8DIA)

57 I had not flown for quite a few years. Went through the TSA bullshit, and they treat you like you are the scum of the earth. Here you are with a carry on, a computer, remove your shoes, empty your pockets and if you don't do it right they get upset with you. Sorry asswipe, I'm on my way to a vacation. I didn't read all the fine print while I was standing in line. Shut the fuck up!

Posted by: Bruce at February 27, 2016 07:17 AM (8ikIW)

58
"No citations were issued in this case, but had the pony been hit by a car it would have been a different story. The business or owner providing the pony would have been financially liable for all injuries, property damages and other costs."

Try explaining that one to your auto insurance company.

"Why do you mean I don't have uninsured mythical animal coverage?!"

Posted by: Laurie David's Cervix at February 27, 2016 07:18 AM (kdS6q)

59 Morning, 'rons and 'ronettes.

1948 saw the publication of Norman Mailer's novel The Naked and the Dead, which featured a prolix amount of F-bombs. Times being what they were, however, Mailer was pressured by his publisher to change the offending word to "Fug."

The novel received rave reviews and, in due course, Mailer found himself in Hollywood. One night, at a party, he was introduced to the actress Tallulah Bankhead.

"Oh, yes," Bankhead crowed, "you're the young man who can't spell 'fuck!'"

Here's a pic of La Bankhead:

http://goo.gl/gqsBOQ

Posted by: Mary Poppins' Practically Perfect Piercing at February 27, 2016 07:20 AM (GUDMx)

60 One day, in America, airline passengers will be considered innocent and not criminal suspects for wanting to travel to a different city.

Posted by: Eric Clickone at February 27, 2016 07:20 AM (S+58G)

61 Saw a youtube video of Rayvn Symone was on "The View". She said that if any Republican gets NOMINATED she will move to Canada with her entire family.
Of course the Kackling Kunts don't actually listen to what she says, they just pile on.

Posted by: Bruce at February 27, 2016 07:22 AM (8ikIW)

62 55 Sounds like you're the one who's butthurt.
Posted by: xpo172 at February 27, 2016 07:17 AM (1PDwB)

Wow. The TSA reads Ace. Who knew?

Posted by: Cloyd Freud, Unemployed at February 27, 2016 07:24 AM (Dttnn)

63 I usually fly with a test meter, small oscilloscope and some hand tools. When returning from a project in Puerto Rico I found they pre-screen all your bags for fruits before the regular screening. When one bag went by with all of the tools, circuit cards, spools of wire and a full size hacksaw they got really animated until I explained that the bag would be checked (like that would make a difference)

I bought a couple of small snow globes as a gift for the grandkids at the Denver science museum. That got me a private interview as they might of been a clever winter explosive. It was either check them or discard them. As the check on bag with the evil test equipment was already checked it was now another $35 for bag two. --but that was cheaper than showing up empty-handed.

Posted by: AE24 at February 27, 2016 07:25 AM (+ft6G)

64
Meanwhile, over at RedState -- Conservatives!:

To Stop Trump, A Rubio/Kasich Ticket
by Guy Benson

http://tinyurl.com/zzh9gx7

Posted by: Laurie David's Cervix at February 27, 2016 07:25 AM (kdS6q)

65
steam shower?

Anyhoo...krakatoa sounds like a name I haven't heard around these here parts in a coons age.

Posted by: eleven at February 27, 2016 07:26 AM (qUNWi)

66 Something is going on here locally, and I'm curious to hear if this is a trend. Seems that some of the local long-time Repub congressmen around here are getting primaried this year. My congressman, Kevin Brady (and yes, I must admit he's pretty much your typical GOPe douchebag), along with John Culberson (another long time GOPe congressman in the Houston area) are both getting the primary treatment from Tea Party candidates. And it seems that the TP guys have the GOPe's on the run. Both Brady and Culberson are spending a LOT of money on radio ads, mass mailings and the like, expounding on how "conservative" they are, blah, blah, blah, and how e-vil their TP opponents are., and so forth.

My question to the Horde is this; is this just a fluke, something that is just coincidentally happening here locally in southeast Texas, or is the not-so-dead-after-all Tea Party making a concerted effort to run the usual GOPe suspects out of Congress?

Posted by: The Oort Cloud - Source of all SMODs at February 27, 2016 07:26 AM (2Bjv9)

67 One day ~~these Federal strip searches at~~ airports will be only a historical footnote.

Proles won't need to travel, they will be bonded to the land and their lord.

(good morning, I always think the way I wake up sets the tone for the day. )

Posted by: Kindltot at February 27, 2016 07:28 AM (q2o38)

68 >>> Times being what they were, however, Mailer was pressured by his publisher to change the offending word to "Fug."

In "The Dirty Dozen" they would contemptuously refer to 'lovers'.

"The lover was running off with the medical supplies."

Posted by: fluffy at February 27, 2016 07:28 AM (UhKT0)

69 "Proles won't need to travel, they will be bonded to the land and their lord."

Yup. That's my read on the direction "Progressivism" is taking us, too.

Posted by: sock_rat_eez at February 27, 2016 07:32 AM (Z8DIA)

70 *not complaining, really.
Posted by: Jinx the Cat at February 27, 2016 07:15 AM (l1pkh)

If you can use it to get the wrinkles out of your shirts you might come out ahead.

Posted by: Kindltot at February 27, 2016 07:33 AM (q2o38)

71
is this just a fluke, something that is just coincidentally happening here locally in southeast Texas
Posted by: The Oort Cloud

Looks like Texas still has relatively easy ballot qualifying, just 500 signatures and runoffs. Makes a protest candidacy doable:

http://tinyurl.com/zw48e54

Posted by: Laurie David's Cervix at February 27, 2016 07:34 AM (kdS6q)

72 >>> My question to the Horde is this; is this just a fluke, something that is just coincidentally happening here locally in southeast Texas, or is the not-so-dead-after-all Tea Party making a concerted effort to run the usual GOPe suspects out of Congress?

Here in the People's Republic of Massachusetts, there is a contested election for Republican state committee. I'm not voting for the slate endorsed by the governor. There is one local guy I know and a woman I don't, but I like the cut of her jib.

Posted by: fluffy at February 27, 2016 07:34 AM (UhKT0)

73 If you can use it to get the wrinkles out of your shirts you might come out ahead.
Posted by: Kindltot

I like the way you reason.

Posted by: Jinx the Cat at February 27, 2016 07:34 AM (l1pkh)

74 Posted by: The Oort Cloud - Source of all SMODs at February 27, 2016 07:26 AM (2Bjv9)

No such activity in my district in Pennsylvania.

Posted by: ThePrimordialOrderedPair at February 27, 2016 07:36 AM (zc3Db)

75 McDonalds is calling out to me; potato cakes, sausage and egg McMuffin, orange juice. If only I could remember where I left my pants, because I'm pretty sure I left my car keys in my pants pocket.

If I could remember where I left my pants, I'm pretty sure I could remember where I left my car.

Posted by: Eric Clickone at February 27, 2016 07:37 AM (S+58G)

76 Yo! It's Saturday! Time to partay!

Posted by: sinalco at February 27, 2016 07:39 AM (yODqO)

77 Just use the new flight uniform I have devised for TSA searches.

Adult diaper and Crocs. No pat down and they just waive you through.....

Posted by: Hairyback Guy at February 27, 2016 07:39 AM (ej1L0)

78 Looks like Texas still has relatively easy ballot qualifying, just 500 signatures and runoffs. Makes a protest candidacy doable:

http://tinyurl.com/zw48e54

Posted by: Laurie David's Cervix at February 27, 2016 07:34 AM (kdS6q)

So what are you saying here? That this is indeed a fluke, because it's relatively easy to get on the ballot in Texas, as opposed to the rest of the country?

Posted by: The Oort Cloud - Source of all SMODs at February 27, 2016 07:40 AM (2Bjv9)

79 The quality of the pro-Mario paid Concern Trolls doesn't seem to be much better than that of the pro-Jeb! Concern Trolls.

I wonder if they're the same people.

Posted by: VidOmnia at February 27, 2016 07:40 AM (r630q)

80
That this is indeed a fluke, because it's relatively easy to get on the ballot in Texas, as opposed to the rest of the country?
Posted by: The Oort Cloud

Yes. Especially when combined with the run-off.

Posted by: Laurie David's Cervix at February 27, 2016 07:42 AM (kdS6q)

81 I made the mistake years ago of engaging with a border control agent in Canada.

After some frustrating conversation, I mentioned that I had just spent more on lunch than he made in a month.

Shortly afterward, a supervisor of his was staring between my spread cheeks with a flashlight.

Posted by: jwest at February 27, 2016 07:42 AM (Zs4uk)

82 Watching Foxes with legs, new woman did say shooter had a AUTOMATIC weapon.

I've heard that repeatedly-- an 'automatic handgun.'

Posted by: Pappy O'Daniel at February 27, 2016 07:44 AM (oVJmc)

83 Slow morning at the HQ. Think I'll go get myself some breakfast. See you all later.

Posted by: Mary Poppins' Practically Perfect Piercing at February 27, 2016 07:47 AM (GUDMx)

84 I haven't flown in years; only traveled by airplane a few times in my life. But I drive, so there's all the DMV nonsense.

I've never had a problem with DMV. (Once, I had to renew my license in a biggish city so I had to wait in line but even that wasn't unreasonable.) But my last experience was to turn in plates for a car I'd just sold. It was in the county building, and it was post-San Bernadino, so the biggest hassle was just getting into the building.

A deputy sheriff said, "Walk through the metal detector." BEEP!

"Do you have any metal?" I handed him my plates. BEEP! "Steel-toe shoes?" Yes. "Empty your pockets." BEEP! So he did the wand, lift your arms, front and back. And he kept the box cutter because he thought I was going to take the elevator all the way up to an airplane and crash it into the county building or something.

After about 80 seconds in the DMV office I came back down to get my box cutter and leave - and the deputy was nowhere to be found. The cop was nice enough throughout the whole ordeal, but I'm still scratching my head about the "security" of that building.

Posted by: FireHorse at February 27, 2016 07:47 AM (m2CBz)

85 >>> So what are you saying here? That this is indeed a fluke, because it's relatively easy to get on the ballot in Texas

You need 2,000 signatures in Massachusetts. You need some organization to get that done. Makes it harder to sneak up on the incumbent.

Posted by: fluffy at February 27, 2016 07:48 AM (UhKT0)

86 "77
Just use the new flight uniform I have devised for TSA searches.

Adult diaper and Crocs. No pat down and they just waive you through.....

Posted by: Hairyback Guy at February 27, 2016 07:39 AM (ej1L0)"

For some reason this reminds me of some advice I read back in the day for how to behave at the draft board in order to not be selected. They recommended putting peanut butter between your ass cheeks and then, while talking to the evaluators, reach in your pants from time to time, pull out some peanut butter and eat it off your finger.

Posted by: Obnoxious A-Hole at February 27, 2016 07:49 AM (QHgTq)

87 "Charade" is the correct term. But it will stay with us like death and taxes

Posted by: BBReggie at February 27, 2016 07:50 AM (K1RXR)

88
For some reason this reminds me of some advice I read back in the day for how to behave at the draft board in order to not be selected.

I just a few minutes ago read this about pop star Fabian on Wiki:

"He was drafted, but rejected, for military service during the Vietnam War. According to USMC Lt. Col. Arthur Eppley, Forte was declared 4F (unfit for service) after presenting a doctor's note stating that induction into the Army could cause him to develop homosexual tendencies.[38]"

If they thought that would work, the Left would bring back the draft.

Posted by: Pappy O'Daniel at February 27, 2016 07:52 AM (oVJmc)

89 >>> I've heard that repeatedly-- an 'automatic handgun.'

They have voice command.

"Jeeves, go shoot some random school children, then return to the cabinet."

Posted by: fluffy at February 27, 2016 07:52 AM (UhKT0)

90 reach in your pants from time to time, pull out some peanut butter and eat it off your finger.
Posted by: Obnoxious A-Hole at February 27, 2016 07:49 AM (QHgTq)

Haha...yup. An old melted Hershey bar worked too. Almonds or no almonds.

Posted by: Hairyback Guy at February 27, 2016 07:53 AM (ej1L0)

91 "82
Watching Foxes with legs, new woman did say shooter had a AUTOMATIC weapon.

I've heard that repeatedly-- an 'automatic handgun.'

Posted by: Pappy O'Daniel at February 27, 2016 07:44 AM (oVJmc)"

I think that the Spanish used to make some selective fire hand guns in the 1930s or 1940s. I am not sure why. All the reports I read about them said that after the second or third shot full auto, recoil had them pointing up at the sky.

Posted by: Obnoxious A-Hole at February 27, 2016 07:54 AM (QHgTq)

92 I agree - anything less than about a 12 hour drive and I'm getting in the car.

Posted by: Weasel at February 27, 2016 07:56 AM (e3bId)

93 Posted by: Laurie David's Cervix at February 27, 2016 07:25 AM

Fuck Erikson and Red State in particular; the personification and the epitome of the GOPe respectively.

Posted by: CrotchetyOldJarhead at February 27, 2016 07:56 AM (oUvFa)

94 I think that the Spanish used to make some selective
fire hand guns in the 1930s or 1940s. I am not sure why. All the
reports I read about them said that after the second or third shot full
auto, recoil had them pointing up at the sky.

Posted by: Obnoxious A-Hole

Duh... that's why you put a black silencer on them to counterbalance the recoil.

Posted by: Bruce at February 27, 2016 07:57 AM (8ikIW)

95 While I've personally never encountered a rude TSA agent, nor suffered the indignity of the intimate patdown -- should I feel snubbed? -- I relish the freedom that driving offers. Leave when you want, stop when you want, and haul as much crap as you can carry, all for a tank or two of gas.

Posted by: All Hail Ace, Literate Savage at February 27, 2016 08:01 AM (jR7Wy)

96 I cross the US/Canadian border a couple of times a year to attend rifle matches in Ottawa. The US border guys are much bigger assholes. Much. Bigger.

Posted by: Weasel at February 27, 2016 08:01 AM (e3bId)

97 "94
I think that the Spanish used to make some selective

fire hand guns in the 1930s or 1940s. I am not sure why. All the

reports I read about them said that after the second or third shot full

auto, recoil had them pointing up at the sky.

Posted by: Obnoxious A-Hole

Duh... that's why you put a black silencer on them to counterbalance the recoil.

Posted by: Bruce at February 27, 2016 07:57 AM (8ikIW)"

Why? Does reducing decibels reduce recoil somehow or is it the color black that does the trick?

Posted by: Obnoxious A-Hole at February 27, 2016 08:02 AM (QHgTq)

98 It's been so long but does anyone remember what the security measures were prior to 9/11? Were there metal detectors? We go through this bs every time we fly to detect something that has a miniscule chance of happening. Not that the TSA detects anything anyways. Didn't the last test show that 95% of banned items passed without being detected? But if grandma in her wheelchair comes through, let's make sure to strip her and pat her down.

The last time I flew, I saw around five agents standing around yakking it up while there was only one person checking IDs. Utterly worthless. The TSA is a joke. Too bad that the joke is on us.

Posted by: Titanium at February 27, 2016 08:02 AM (u9UgT)

99 37
In Mitt Romney news:

Pony dressed as unicorn escapes, prances around town for several hours

The horse had been "posing with kids" during a photo shoot, when she "became frightened" and broke away from her owner. She ran to the streets of Madera Rancheros, at which point onlookers began phoning the California Highway Patrol, reporting that they were seeing a unicorn trotting about the city.

"The search became so desperate," KTLA 5 reports, "that the local police had to use a helicopter and thermal imaging to locate the pony, which was hiding out in an orchard."

http://tinyurl.com/hcdty67

"Take the shot!"

Posted by: Laurie David's Cervix

Careful, its lower intestine is filled with Obamacare savings.

Posted by: Dirks Strewn at February 27, 2016 08:03 AM (QdAXQ)

100 Turn in your old plates at the dmv ?
Too dangerous to leave unattended in the hands of a civilian ?

Posted by: sock_rat_eez at February 27, 2016 08:03 AM (Z8DIA)

101 "After some frustrating conversation, I mentioned that I had just spent more on lunch than he made in a month.

Shortly afterward, a supervisor of his was staring between my spread cheeks with a flashlight."

I'd agree with the TSA on this one.

Posted by: Cloyd Freud, Unemployed at February 27, 2016 08:03 AM (Dttnn)

102 I think that the Spanish used to make some selective
fire hand guns in the 1930s or 1940s. I am not sure why. All the
reports I read about them said that after the second or third shot full
auto, recoil had them pointing up at the sky.
Posted by: Obnoxious A-Hole at February 27, 2016 07:54 AM (QHgTq)

The Astra 900 series select fire pistols were developed to fill the gap that was left when Mauser was forbidden to make the schnelfeur broomhandles.

Designed as a type of carbine, they had a detachable magazine, the ability to fix the wooden holster a butt-stock and had sights graduated optimistically out to 600 or 800 meters. They were a real favorite of the Chinese Warlords who were doing turf wars pre-WW2.

Barretta made a select fire pistol, it helpfully had a half-fore-grip that flipped down to control the muzzle rise.
I understand Astra also made a version of that.
Those were used mostly by Carabineri and Guardia Civil personnel.

Glock makes a select fire too.

Posted by: Kindltot at February 27, 2016 08:04 AM (q2o38)

103 "96
I cross the US/Canadian border a couple of times a year to attend rifle
matches in Ottawa. The US border guys are much bigger assholes. Much.
Bigger.

Posted by: Weasel at February 27, 2016 08:01 AM (e3bId)"

I have heard of several cases of retired people driving their SUV to Alaska. The Canadian border folks unloaded everything in the vehicles looking for handguns. Maybe it was the Texas plates. It sounds like being bigger assholes than the Canadians is a considerable achievement that takes a lot of effort and dedication.

Posted by: Obnoxious A-Hole at February 27, 2016 08:06 AM (QHgTq)

104 102
Barretta made a select fire pistol, it helpfully had a half-fore-grip that flipped down to control the muzzle rise.

Posted by: Kindltot at February 27, 2016 08:04 AM (q2o3

It had a thing that goes down??!!!???

Posted by: rickl at February 27, 2016 08:06 AM (sdi6R)

105 Posted by: Kindltot at February 27, 2016 08:04 AM (q2o3

Local gun shop imported a bunch of broomhandles from China in the mid '80s. Like a dumbass, I passed.

Posted by: BignJames at February 27, 2016 08:08 AM (x9c8r)

106 "101
"After some frustrating conversation, I mentioned that I had just spent more on lunch than he made in a month.

Shortly afterward, a supervisor of his was staring between my spread cheeks with a flashlight."

I'd agree with the TSA on this one.

Posted by: Cloyd Freud, Unemployed at February 27, 2016 08:03 AM (Dttnn)"

I wonder if that was the lead up conversation to that guy in New Mexico getting several enemas and a colonoscopy?

Posted by: Obnoxious A-Hole at February 27, 2016 08:10 AM (QHgTq)

107 TSA is working perfectly
once you accept their real job
is to discourage the peasantry from traveling.

Posted by: Storm Saxon's Gall Bladder at February 27, 2016 08:10 AM (Nn1+y)

108 I am so done with the charade.

In Soviet America, charade not done with you!

Posted by: t-bird at February 27, 2016 08:12 AM (Z58Xa)

109 103 I think it mostly depends on whether you have your shit together, form-wise. Last year I was chatting with the Canadian guy as he was going over my paperwork and he said a LOT of people try and sneak in handguns.

The U.S. Guys just seem to like treating every encounter as a felony stop. Bullshit.

Posted by: Weasel at February 27, 2016 08:12 AM (e3bId)

110 Or see the photo on an ONT a week or so ago; Dillinger had a 1911 converted to full auto with a Thompson foregrip retrofitted and what looked like about a 20 round magazine.

Pre-911 airport security as I remember it was a metal detector only, with fairly lax settings and loose standards of what was permitted to have in your pockets .... pocketknives, hand tools, stuff like that was perfectly OK. My Gerber multitool never even drew a comment.

Posted by: sock_rat_eez at February 27, 2016 08:13 AM (Z8DIA)

111 If you had a micro-penis you'd know how important an extra eighth of an inch was. I mean that's what someone told me.

Posted by: Linsey Graham at February 27, 2016 08:14 AM (NA4Je)

112 I detect a bad attitude, serf. You will give us our 6 7/8 inches when we demand it! with a smile and a "Sir, may I have another?" on your degraded citizen lips!

Sheesh, the crap we aristocrats in government have to put up with when all we are trying to do is keep the zoo animals safe...

Posted by: Your Government Overlords at February 27, 2016 08:15 AM (TxJGV)

113 Last time I flew was in '02, when daughter SOS'ed me to come help her with the new grandchild. Got pulled out of line coming and going. They paid special attention to my shoes.
I was wearing huaraches.

As I have never liked to fly, just more added stress. But a good excuse not to get on the plane.

Posted by: Sal at February 27, 2016 08:16 AM (MRX6w)

114 Posted by: Obnoxious A-Hole at February 27, 2016 08:02 AM

Physics; how does that shit even work?!

Posted by: CrotchetyOldJarhead at February 27, 2016 08:17 AM (oUvFa)

115 ...Krakatoa's TSA story reminds me of the time I flew Amish.

My costume for Halloween of '08 had me as an Amish man (in authentic Amish clothing...I live near Amish settlements) I added some scary make-up...hosile Amish. Anyway, I knew I'd be flying to LAX to see my sis in December and figured that I'd continue growing my beard and wear my Amish clothing (sans make-up) for the trip.

So I get dropped off by friends at CLE and proceed toward the gate...in my whole get-up: straw hat w plain band, plain jeans w suspenders, plain shirt, wire framed glasses and my hunting boots. And I've never since or before been through TSA faster...no questions, no boots off, no hat off...nothing. I was pretty mute throught the whole way to LA including the plane -- no one knew what to say or do with me -- I guess they didn't want to offend. I'll never forget that experience...a frightening realization of just how inept TSA was/is and witnessing the beginnings of true-PC madness.

And for the record, there's nothing like standing outside of Tito's tacos in LA 'round midnight, eating tacos while dressed Amish...but there Los Angelenos had me pegged as just another freak on the streets.

Posted by: billygoat at February 27, 2016 08:17 AM (INxoa)

116 I've heard that repeatedly-- an 'automatic handgun.'

Posted by: Pappy O'Daniel at February 27, 2016 07:44 AM (oVJmc)

To be fair, it is well-accepted shorthand to call a semi-automatic pistol an "automatic" or an "auto" - not in the way you are pointing out, exactly, but in general. The difference is whether the person knows that this is just a shorthand label or an actual description.

Posted by: ThePrimordialOrderedPair at February 27, 2016 08:18 AM (zc3Db)

117 The silencer acts as a compensator. A pistol is like a reaction motor, following those Newtonian laws - every action has a counter action - and a lot of pistols are designed to pivot in the hand to mitigate the kick. The idea is that it pivots off target and you can then bring it back on target easiest.
When you do a burst, it keeps climbing on that pivot point in your hand, and you don't have a chance to bring it back on target.

There are solutions to that, stocks, fore-grips are used to modify standard frames, and the silencers act as a compensator, spreading and modifying the blast and kick while dampening the sound.
It is like putting a muffler on a rocket. It won't give you enough impulse to launch.

Sorry. Going all obsessive gun-nerd

Posted by: Kindltot at February 27, 2016 08:19 AM (q2o38)

118 116 The 'A' in .45ACP stands for automatic (colt pistol)

Posted by: Weasel at February 27, 2016 08:20 AM (e3bId)

119 In 1982 I flew from Istanbul to Tel Aviv on an El Al flight. This was the only flight from an Islamic country to Israel at the time.

Check in was a preflight interview consisting of such questions as:

Why are you travelling to Israel?
How did you get to the airport today?
How much did it cost?
You have an unusual middle name, is it Arabic? (it's Welsh!)
Did anyone handle your bags today?
Are you travelling with anyone on board today?
How come you and her have different names?
How long have you known each other?

Looking back, it was about where we are now, minus the high tech stuff that was unavailable then.

Posted by: Jinx the Cat at February 27, 2016 08:20 AM (l1pkh)

120 I was given a bag of change by my grandmother-in-law (as an inside joke), and the TSA told me that it wasn't allowed.

Posted by: Turd Ferguson at February 27, 2016 08:20 AM (/ciMI)

121 billygoat, great story !
I might try that if I ever have to fly again.

Posted by: sock_rat_eez at February 27, 2016 08:21 AM (Z8DIA)

122 Posts such as this are why they hate us, comrade.

Posted by: Jake from Planet State Farm at February 27, 2016 08:23 AM (msVAP)

123 59
Times being what they were, however, Mailer was pressured by his publisher to change the offending word to "Fug."
Posted by: Mary Poppins' Practically Perfect Piercing at February 27, 2016 07:20 AM (GUDMx)

That must have been the origin of the name of the 60s band The Fugs.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ljxnEep6d-c

Posted by: rickl at February 27, 2016 08:25 AM (sdi6R)

124 A friend of my son had his dog declared a service animal and so the dog travels with him on planes. He's a fierce looking German Shepard (with a jolly disposition). I can't imagine how that dog gets through a TSA inspection.

Posted by: MTF at February 27, 2016 08:26 AM (TxJGV)

125 121
billygoat, great story !

I might try that if I ever have to fly again.

Posted by: sock_rat_eez at February 27, 2016 08:21 AM (Z8DIA)

...even funnier was my sisters reaction when she and my BIL picked me up at the ramp --- why was I dressed like a farmer? Clearly, she'd been gone from Ohio for far too long.

Posted by: billygoat at February 27, 2016 08:27 AM (INxoa)

126 A friend of my son had his dog declared a service
animal and so the dog travels with him on planes. He's a fierce looking
German Shepard (with a jolly disposition). I can't imagine how that
dog gets through a TSA inspection.

Posted by: MTF

Is the dog an East German Shepherd? Cuz they know how to cooperate with authorities.

Posted by: Turd Ferguson at February 27, 2016 08:28 AM (/ciMI)

127
120 I was given a bag of change by my grandmother-in-law (as an inside joke), and the TSA told me that it wasn't allowed.
Posted by: Turd Ferguson at February 27, 2016 08:20 AM (/ciMI)

Federal government commissioned and sanctioned highwaymen is what they are.

Posted by: Krebs v Carnot 'Who Decides?' at February 27, 2016 08:29 AM (BK3ZS)

128 Federal government commissioned and sanctioned highwaymen is what they are.

Posted by: Krebs v Carnot 'Who Decides?'

To be fair, I was given the option to mail several pounds of pennies and nickels home.

Posted by: Turd Ferguson at February 27, 2016 08:30 AM (/ciMI)

129 Trump on FNC

Posted by: Valiant- Hot Air Suicide Watcher at February 27, 2016 08:30 AM (2bqlb)

130 "102
I think that the Spanish used to make some selective

fire hand guns in the 1930s or 1940s. I am not sure why. All the

reports I read about them said that after the second or third shot full

auto, recoil had them pointing up at the sky.
Posted by: Obnoxious A-Hole at February 27, 2016 07:54 AM (QHgTq)

The
Astra 900 series select fire pistols were developed to fill the gap
that was left when Mauser was forbidden to make the schnelfeur
broomhandles.

Designed as a type of carbine, they had a
detachable magazine, the ability to fix the wooden holster a butt-stock
and had sights graduated optimistically out to 600 or 800 meters. They
were a real favorite of the Chinese Warlords who were doing turf wars
pre-WW2.

Barretta made a select fire pistol, it helpfully had a half-fore-grip that flipped down to control the muzzle rise.
I understand Astra also made a version of that.
Those were used mostly by Carabineri and Guardia Civil personnel.

Glock makes a select fire too.

Posted by: Kindltot at February 27, 2016 08:04 AM (q2o3

"

Is the Astra 900 that big squirt gun looking blow back pistol that shot some oddball 9mm cartridge? I did not know they had a wooden shoulder stock available for them.

Posted by: Obnoxious A-Hole at February 27, 2016 08:30 AM (QHgTq)

131 Thank you for reminding me why I quit volunteering to travel for work. Checking a 70 lb. tool box at the counter was already a gigantic pain in the ass pre-9/11. I can only imagine what it would be like today.
I used to love to fly. TSA has taken care of that.
I used to love to stay at hotels when I traveled. YouTube has taken care of that. (The sh1t people do in hotel rooms divided by the sh1t housekeeping DOESN'T do when said people check out equals OH HELL NO.)

Posted by: antisocialist at February 27, 2016 08:31 AM (cDs+4)

132 Flying back from a project in Jamaica, my. teenage son made it off the plane first. A minute or two later I made it to the end of the jetway, where my son was surrounded by DEA agents.

I just stood next to them and looked at them, they looked back, I looked at them, they looked back, finally they asked "Is he with you?" "Yup, he's my son" and they said "OK you can go"

So the secret to running drugs is to have a nerdy engineer as a dad.

Posted by: AE24 at February 27, 2016 08:31 AM (+ft6G)

133 A 1980 election Jimmy Carter TV commercial. While these jackasses are expressing their fears of a Reagan Presidency, keep in mind that Ronald Reagan started off a quarter century of prosperity and won the Cold War without firing a shot.

https://youtu.be/MhkL-mji9UE

Posted by: Obnoxious A-Hole at February 27, 2016 06:48 AM (QHgTq)

I remember Reagan being portrayed as a crazy cowboy who couldn't wait to get his hands on the nukes and start WW III. Fortunately, enough people saw Jimmah as the worthless loser he was and the mess we were in at the time. It's too bad all of that crumbled into the even bigger mess we're in now

Posted by: TheQuietMan at February 27, 2016 08:31 AM (45oDG)

134 So the secret to running drugs is to have a nerdy engineer as a dad.

Posted by: AE24

*takes note for when sons are a little older*

Posted by: Turd Ferguson at February 27, 2016 08:32 AM (/ciMI)

135 *peeks*

Nope, no nood.

Posted by: Turd Ferguson at February 27, 2016 08:35 AM (/ciMI)

136 Trifecta?

Posted by: Turd Ferguson at February 27, 2016 08:35 AM (/ciMI)

137 Quatro!

Posted by: Turd Ferguson at February 27, 2016 08:35 AM (/ciMI)

138 Fu(umlaut)nf?

Posted by: Turd Ferguson at February 27, 2016 08:36 AM (/ciMI)

139 *strips nude and streaks across thread*
WHEEEEEE!

Posted by: Turd Ferguson at February 27, 2016 08:36 AM (/ciMI)

140 In 2008 my high school son returned from a Latin Club trip to Athens with a two foot long sword he picked up at some bazaar strapped to his backpack. Athens security, the hole in the system.

Posted by: Jinx the Cat at February 27, 2016 08:37 AM (l1pkh)

141 Leavin' on a jetplane
Gonna die so I don't get screened again

Posted by: John Denver at February 27, 2016 08:37 AM (/ciMI)

142 Posted by: jwest at February 27, 2016 07:42 AM (Zs4uk)

Well, that was a rather foolish thing to say, wasn't it?

Posted by: FenelonSpoke at February 27, 2016 08:37 AM (w4NZ8)

143 Sorry about your big hassles, Krakatoa.

Posted by: FenelonSpoke at February 27, 2016 08:38 AM (w4NZ8)

144
In 2008 my high school son returned from a Latin Club trip to Athens
with a two foot long sword he picked up at some bazaar strapped to his
backpack. Athens security, the hole in the system.

Posted by: Jinx the Cat

Who knows how many Greek soldiers they packed into that sword.

Posted by: Turd Ferguson at February 27, 2016 08:38 AM (/ciMI)

145 Saw a youtube video of Rayvn Symone was on "The View". She said that if any Republican gets NOMINATED she will move to Canada with her entire family.
Of course the Kackling Kunts don't actually listen to what she says, they just pile on.

Posted by: Bruce at February 27, 2016 07:22 AM (8ikIW)

The stupid that oozes off of that show is painful. If all of the "celebrities" who said they were going to leave the country actually did when a Republican got elected this would be a much better country

Posted by: TheQuietMan at February 27, 2016 08:38 AM (45oDG)

146 Posted by: antisocialist at February 27, 2016 08:31 AM (cDs+4)

...truer words. Up until 2007, I worked in corporate sales and had to travel...never do I miss those days.

Posted by: billygoat at February 27, 2016 08:38 AM (INxoa)

147 Good morning all!

From this date in 1944- Anzio

Feb 27, 1944 - The EZ Dog Journal
Cloudy and rainy. Visibility practically nil. Gerry is still working on the British. "Other" fronts fairly quiet. We fired some really heavy concentrations on some of his arty positions. 120 guns converged in one instance. Hope that softens him up.

Posted by: Seamus Muldoon at February 27, 2016 08:39 AM (NeFrd)

148 So, do I add "Mario" to the "M" list?

Posted by: J.J. Sefton at February 27, 2016 06:33 AM (zLP1L)

Please good sir, please do!

Posted by: Hrothgarace at February 27, 2016 08:39 AM (wYnyS)

149

Male announcer:
The red zone is for immediate loading and unloading of passengers only. There is no stopping in the white zone.

Female announcer:
No, the white zone is for loading of passengers and there is no stopping in a RED zone.

Male announcer:
The red zone has always been for loading and unloading of passengers. There's never stopping in a white zone.

Female announcer:
Don't you tell me which zone is for loading, and which zone is for stopping!

Male announcer:
Listen Betty, don't start up with your white zone shit again.

Posted by: Turd Ferguson at February 27, 2016 08:40 AM (/ciMI)

150 Posted by: FenelonSpoke at February 27, 2016 08:37 AM (w4NZ

Oh, sorry. West. I now realize that afterwards you knew it was not the best thing to say. Hopefully Border Agents in Canada have not had to examine your rear since then.

Posted by: FenelonSpoke at February 27, 2016 08:41 AM (w4NZ8)

151 Was there a consensus last night as to the name of the B-21?

Posted by: Turd Ferguson at February 27, 2016 08:41 AM (/ciMI)

152 Posted by: Turd Ferguson

Municipal bonds, Turd, best investment in America.

Posted by: Jinx the Cat at February 27, 2016 08:42 AM (l1pkh)

153 U.S. Has Record 10th Straight Year Without 3% Growth in GDP

"The average growth rate for economic recoveries since the 1960s is 3.9 percent ranking the Obama recovery, with an average GDP growth rate of just 2.1 percent, among the slowest in history," said Sen. Dan Coats (R.-Ind,)

But the economy has never been better comrades.

Posted by: TheQuietMan at February 27, 2016 08:42 AM (45oDG)

154 Hopefully Border Agents in Canada have not had to examine your rear since then.

Posted by: FenelonSpoke

Amen, eh?

Posted by: Canadian Border Agents at February 27, 2016 08:42 AM (/ciMI)

155 Is the Astra 900 that big squirt gun looking blow
back pistol that shot some oddball 9mm cartridge? I did not know they
had a wooden shoulder stock available for them.
Posted by: Obnoxious A-Hole at February 27, 2016 08:30 AM (QHgTq)

No, the Astra 900's were the C-96 broomhandle looking things. They were actually re-engineered, but they kept the look.

You are thinking of the Astra A-400, with the 9mm Largo, that looks like it has a bicycle pump in its ancestry. It has an odd design aspect to it, very different from Browning-FN designs. It has a lot to do with the adoption of the Bergmann-Bayard early on, and that Spanish firms were competing against the Belgian ones I think.
I will point out that the A-400 looks normal when you think of its predecessor, the Campo-Giro.

Posted by: Kindltot at February 27, 2016 08:43 AM (q2o38)

156 151 Was there a consensus last night as to the name of the B-21?
Posted by: Turd Ferguson at February 27, 2016 08:41 AM (/ciMI)
----
Too many great ideas. But I'm still holding out for Atomic Wedgie.

Posted by: All Hail Ace, Literate Savage at February 27, 2016 08:43 AM (jR7Wy)

157 Looks like I picked the wrong week to quit drinking.

Posted by: Steve McCrosky at February 27, 2016 08:45 AM (/ciMI)

158 Joey, do you like movies about gladiators?

Posted by: Captain Oveur at February 27, 2016 08:47 AM (/ciMI)

159 Too many great ideas. But I'm still holding out for Atomic Wedgie.

Posted by: All Hail Ace

I like it.

Posted by: Turd Ferguson at February 27, 2016 08:47 AM (/ciMI)

160 In regards to The Burning Times, The Royal Blue Nazis are marked men (and women), and they really won't like the Rewards Miles they got coming for "joost followink the orderss of mein fuhrer!"

You wanted to see the 'real-life' "Who Goes Nazi"?

Your soaking in it, Madge.

Posted by: Max Manus at February 27, 2016 08:48 AM (LyiQq)

161 Spent quite a few years where I put in 100,000 miles commercial plus close to that company planes, that was prior to 9/11, no way now. As long as it isn't overseas, I drive.

TSA is a jobs program for half wits.

Posted by: jpintx at February 27, 2016 08:48 AM (eY2fu)

162 Do you know what it's like to fall in the mud and get kicked... in the
head... with an iron boot? Of course you don't, no one does. It never
happens. Sorry, Ted, that's a dumb question... skip that.

Posted by: Rex Kramer at February 27, 2016 08:48 AM (/ciMI)

163 You're ain't gonna see no unicorn

Man, was that a bleak song for kids. Right down there with "Puff the Magic Dragon".

Posted by: Laurie David's Cervix

*****

I must have been 10 or 11 years old. Loved that song. Begged mom to let me buy the record and she finally approved after pre-screening it to make sure it wouldn't corrupt my tender sensibilities. Played it and sand along with that song repeatedly. I think it helped form my conservative mindset, because I didn't really get upset about the little unicorns floating away with the flood waters. I just took it as a recognition that there are no unicorns and that there comes a time in life to move on from childhood fantasies. And that's while you've never seen a unicorn...to this very day!

That, or I'm just a cold-hearted, ruthless bastidge.

Posted by: Seamus Muldoon at February 27, 2016 08:50 AM (NeFrd)

164 Spent quite a few years where I put in 100,000 miles
commercial plus close to that company planes...

Posted by: jpintx

Why, you're qualified to be Secretary of State, or even PRESIDENT!

Posted by: Hillary(!) at February 27, 2016 08:50 AM (/ciMI)

165 In Turkish a "C" is pronounced like a "J."
My host's assistant was named Cihad.

You need to go through three checks to get on the USA bound plane, first to get in the terminal, second to get to the gates and then a third time with an additional baggage inspection at your departing gate.

"Did anyone help you with your bags?"
I was tempted to say: "Oh, just some guy named Jihad," but the thought of missing the flight and spending a night wandering the airport in Istanbul was not appealing.

Posted by: AE24 at February 27, 2016 08:51 AM (+ft6G)

166 the thought of missing the flight and spending a night wandering the airport in Istanbul was not appealing.

Posted by: AE24

Joey, have you ever been in a... in a Turkish prison?

Posted by: Captain Oveur at February 27, 2016 08:52 AM (/ciMI)

167 One day ~~these Federal strip searches at~~ airports will be only a historical footnote.

FTFY

Posted by: Grump928(C) says Free Soothie! at February 27, 2016 08:52 AM (rwI+c)

168 Even though little exercises in defiance like that are pointless and tend to prolong the misery at the worst times, damn they sure can be cathartic.

Well done krak.

Posted by: Burn the Witch at February 27, 2016 08:52 AM (Wckf4)

169 I saw jwest open for Border Agents In Canada at the Palladium back in '04.

Posted by: Seamus Muldoon at February 27, 2016 08:53 AM (NeFrd)

170 You little people do suffer while travelling, don't you.

Posted by: Your Betters at February 27, 2016 08:53 AM (l1pkh)

171 "Measure all you want, chief. It's not going to magically grow another eighth of an inch."

------

One weird trick to make your screwdriver grow another eighth of an inch!

Posted by: Click on this ad at February 27, 2016 08:53 AM (/ciMI)

172 I want to try using my dad's long neglected smoker. It is a charcoal fired thing, looks like a small water heater, and I think I get the charcoal fired up and start feeding it fruit wood chips.

What do I use, sugar cure rubbed brisket? Do I let it sit and draw the juice? How do I cut it, in strips for jerky or as a roast?
I have no idea what I am doing. It has no moving parts.

Posted by: Kindltot at February 27, 2016 08:54 AM (q2o38)

173 But God forbid you try to being a WDW snowglobe on the plane. Little, palm-sized and more deadly than TSA can imagine.

Posted by: Count de Monet at February 27, 2016 08:54 AM (JO9+V)

174 Looks like I picked the wrong week to quit amphetamines.

Posted by: Steve McCrosky at February 27, 2016 08:55 AM (/ciMI)

175 162- Not I wouldn't like it

Posted by: Skip at February 27, 2016 08:56 AM (fizMZ)

176 I just took it as a recognition that there are no unicorns and that there comes a time in life to move on from childhood fantasies. And that's while you've never seen a unicorn...to this very day!

That, or I'm just a cold-hearted, ruthless bastidge.
Posted by: Seamus Muldoon at February 27, 2016 08:50 AM (NeFrd)
---

Why no unicorns?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qEeZtjQYJBM

Go to 02:25

Posted by: All Hail Ace, Literate Savage at February 27, 2016 08:56 AM (jR7Wy)

177 Posted by: Prescient12 at February 27, 2016 08:54 AM (BfxxB)

Just stop this nonsense, please.

Posted by: FenelonSpoke at February 27, 2016 08:56 AM (w4NZ8)

178 She said that if any Republican gets NOMINATED she will move to Canada with her entire family.

****

If Hillary gets elected I'm moving to Galt's Gulch. Metaphorically speaking anyway. Doubt if Ravyn Simone will miss me.

Posted by: Seamus Muldoon at February 27, 2016 08:56 AM (NeFrd)

179 A double agent for the establishment.

Love, America

Posted by: Prescient12

Pfft. Don't be absurd. Spies have two names. "Bond. James Bond." Doesn't work here. "Ace. ...Ace Ace?"

Posted by: Turd Ferguson at February 27, 2016 08:57 AM (/ciMI)

180 Then spent more times in airports than I would have if I'd just driven the 630 miles.
===========

Oh yeah. Came to this conclusion years ago.

If its less than a five hour drive each way (and that's pretty close to your 630 total miles), its a total no-brainer to drive. By the time you add in time to GET to the airport, park, check your luggage go through security, wait, board, wait, fly, wait, deplane, get luggage, get to transport, there isn't much time savings. ANY trip to the airport adds two hours (at least) to total travel time.

Factor in lower cost of driving, ability to leave and return any time you like without delays (including early OR late), ability to take whatever you want with you, ability to stop wherever/whenever for food, and then arrive where you're going with vehicle, its a no-brainer to drive.

Posted by: looking closely at February 27, 2016 08:57 AM (hoiM7)

181 Was there a consensus last night as to the name of the B-21?

Posted by: Turd Ferguson

If we name it Brad and it gets in an accident, will the insurance buy us a new one?
I mean, we checked the torque ratios and everything on it!!

Posted by: Bruce at February 27, 2016 08:58 AM (8ikIW)

182 Pfft. Don't be absurd. Spies have two names. "Bond. James Bond." Doesn't work here. "Ace. ...Ace Ace?"

Posted by: Turd Ferguson at February 27, 2016 08:57 AM (/ciMI)

I think it would be-

"Of Spades....Ace Of Spades."

Posted by: naturalfake at February 27, 2016 08:59 AM (KUa85)

183 If we name it Brad and it gets in an accident, will the insurance buy us a new one?
I mean, we checked the torque ratios and everything on it!!

Posted by: Bruce

You're in good hands, with All State.

Posted by: President Palmer at February 27, 2016 09:00 AM (/ciMI)

184 #140
Flew Swiss Air *after* 9/11 and with your dinner, they gave you an actual METAL KNIFE.

Admittedly, it wasn't that big nor that sharp, but you couldn't board the plane with that knife at the airport.

Posted by: looking closely at February 27, 2016 09:01 AM (hoiM7)

185 I think it would be-

"Of Spades....Ace Of Spades."

Posted by: naturalfake

Ah, you're right. I take back my objection, crazy guy! Ace is a spy!

Posted by: Turd Ferguson at February 27, 2016 09:01 AM (/ciMI)

186 LA and NY have the biggest TSA assholes. I really haven't had a problem with them anywhere else. The whole TSA idea is nothing but political correctness though. Instead of pulling out the people who normally do terrorist activities, GWB decided that everyone was a terrorist.

Posted by: Soona at February 27, 2016 09:02 AM (Fmupd)

187 The last time I flew I swore it was the last time. A decade ago, now. I could fly three or four times a year. I now choose not to.

Philadelphia international airport. The standing in line, the shoe removal, the emptying of pockets. Yeah annoying. But not the straw.

Some fuck up in full Muslim garb paraded around like he owned the entire concourse. Some others in muslim garb, male and female working the shops. Annoying fuck up makes a big deal of talking to them. This goes on for an hour. Finally boarding is called. Passengers get checked off list. Annoying fuck up no where to be seen. Announcement over PA system for 'typical muslim male name' to come to gate x. My gate. Message repeated three or four times. Annoying fuck up finally shows up. That was what he wanted, to have that little scene. The outfit. The 'typical muslim male name' announced repeatedly. The entire theatre. If looks could kill he would have been dead.

That's when I said to wife, 'That's it. I'm done with this shit'.

I'll fly again. But in anything close to being the same time, when the time of getting up early, waiting in concourse, waiting on runway, flying, waiting on runway, waiting for baggage... is all calculated, if its close, I'd rather drive.

I don't choose to be someone's audience in a show. Nor groped, nuked, scanned, treated like crap.

Posted by: mega machines at February 27, 2016 09:03 AM (fbovC)

188 I was on a Delta flight a couple of weeks ago and got a little metal knife with my meal. Not much of a weapon, really, but I could have given someone a good buttering with it!

Posted by: Weasel at February 27, 2016 09:03 AM (e3bId)

189

Ted Striker:
My orders came through. My squadron ships out tomorrow. We're bombing
the storage depots at Daiquiri at 1800 hours. We're coming in from the
north, below their radar.

Elaine Dickinson:
When will you be back?

Ted Striker:
I can't tell you that. It's classified.

Posted by: Turd Ferguson at February 27, 2016 09:04 AM (/ciMI)

190 ace couldn't be a spy. He doesn't look good in a white dinner jacket under his wet suit. With all the fur, he looks like the kid brother from A Christmas Story in his snowsuit.

Posted by: Count de Monet at February 27, 2016 09:04 AM (JO9+V)

191 This song goes out to Prepubescent 12....

here's a man who leads a life of danger
To everyone he meets he stays a stranger
With every move he makes another chance he takes
Odds are he won't live to see tomorrowSecret agent man, secret agent man
They've given you a number, I know they've take away your name

Posted by: Turd Ferguson at February 27, 2016 09:05 AM (/ciMI)

192 Todays the day I'm afraid Bernie is going to faid

Posted by: Skip at February 27, 2016 09:05 AM (fizMZ)

193 If Hillary gets elected I'm moving to Galt's Gulch. Metaphorically speaking anyway.

Posted by: Seamus Muldoon at February 27, 2016 08:56 AM (NeFrd)

This. In my case, Galt's Gulch will be in Texas, not Colorado. (I'm starting out in Connecticut, though, so almost anything would be better.)

Posted by: right wing whippersnapper- quietly rebellious at February 27, 2016 09:06 AM (26lkV)

194 Why? Does reducing decibels reduce recoil somehow or is it the color black that does the trick?
==
Both. . .

No, more weight up front acts to counter the guns' upward flip, that's all.

Also, suppressor delays gas escape from behind the bullet (that's how it works) so it slightly "softens" the force of the recoil impulse by spreading it out over more time.

Posted by: looking closely at February 27, 2016 09:06 AM (hoiM7)

195 When he was in the running, Chris Christie made it crystal clear that if elected POTUS he would use the full jackboot of the Federal Government to stomp all over state's rights.

The thought of him as AG scares the shit out of me.

Posted by: WhatWhatWhat? at February 27, 2016 09:07 AM (HMt16)

196 Krakatoa is a trouble maker.
We're keeping an eye on him.

Posted by: TSA groper at large at February 27, 2016 09:07 AM (cbfNE)

197 I always get picked for a pat down. It's because I'm an attractive woman. No question. The TSA is run by pervs.

Posted by: Lauren at February 27, 2016 09:07 AM (vA1V9)

198 I'd start with ribs. Then a chicken. They don't take as long.

Brisket
is, of course, and without question, the holy of the holies of smoked
meats. I would wait until you have a bit of experience before
attempting.

Posted by: Duncanthrax the Bellicose at February 27, 2016 09:02 AM (OF/aZ)

I will try that, then. Thank you. It might be a Weber. It looks like a Weber at least.

Posted by: Kindltot at February 27, 2016 09:07 AM (q2o38)

199 Wait, Romney is running? Jeb is his running-mate?
I'm so confused .

Posted by: Uncle Touchy at February 27, 2016 09:08 AM (G+mgP)

200 I'd start with ribs.

---

I'm already short one!

Posted by: Adam at February 27, 2016 09:08 AM (/ciMI)

201
I always get picked for a pat down. It's because I'm an attractive woman. No question. The TSA is run by pervs.

Posted by: Lauren

Pics!

Posted by: TSA/Horde Overlap at February 27, 2016 09:09 AM (/ciMI)

202 Wait, Romney is running?

Posted by: Uncle Touchy

Well, jogging.

Posted by: Mitt Romney at February 27, 2016 09:10 AM (/ciMI)

203 Brisket
is, of course, and without question, the holy of the holies of smoked
meats. I would wait until you have a bit of experience before
attempting.
Posted by: Duncanthrax the Bellicose at February 27, 2016 09:02 AM (OF/aZ)

Yup...I use an old Jewish Grandmother's recipe which involves brisket, beer, brown sugar and onion soup mix which turns brisket into ambrosia.

By the way, Drudge has Billy Jeff losing his cool. The man needs to retire.

Posted by: Hairyback Guy at February 27, 2016 09:10 AM (ej1L0)

204 Adam's Ribs is a BBQ restaurant off by the Capitol Mall in Salem, Oregon. They do good business.

Posted by: Kindltot at February 27, 2016 09:11 AM (q2o38)

205 I just want to tell you both good luck. We're all counting on you.

Posted by: Turd Ferguson at February 27, 2016 09:12 AM (/ciMI)

206 Adam: Well, what can I get for a rib?

*just the punchline

Posted by: Count de Monet at February 27, 2016 09:13 AM (JO9+V)

207 The man needs to retire.

Posted by: Hairyback Guy

I agree. I'm too old for this shit. I've already got a lovely place picked out, a private island....

Posted by: Bill Clinton at February 27, 2016 09:15 AM (/ciMI)

208 Bro, have a snickers.

Posted by: Lauren at February 27, 2016 09:15 AM (vA1V9)

209 Well, thats weird.

Posted by: MTF at February 27, 2016 09:15 AM (TxJGV)

210 I still can't believe how shockingly bad the Democratic options for president are this year. An inept, unhealthy corruptocrat on the verge of being indicted and an old, senile commie who has never worked for a living and wants to party like its 1917. Whoever the R candidate is, their campaign slogan should be "Hey, at least I'm not one THOSE fuckin' guys!"

Posted by: Citizen Cake at February 27, 2016 09:15 AM (ppaKI)

211 Posted by: Prescient12

Use your inside voice. And maybe wait for a pertinent thread to exorcise your inner demons.

Posted by: Turd Ferguson at February 27, 2016 09:16 AM (/ciMI)

212 Howdy, podners!

I see Krak is back, with a Monday-worthy content-laden EMT!

That was worth getting up for.

♥

O Lord, rebuke me not in your anger, neither chasten me in your hot displeasure. Have mercy upon me, O Lord; for I am weak: O Lord, heal me; for my bones are vexed. My soul is also sore vexed: but you, O Lord, how long? Return, O Lord, deliver my soul: oh save me for your mercies' sake.

Posted by: mindful webworker - old whippersnapper at February 27, 2016 09:16 AM (xkaSw)

213 Pfft. Don't be absurd. Spies have two names. "Bond. James Bond." Doesn't work here. "Ace. ...Ace Ace?"

Posted by: Turd Ferguson at February 27, 2016 08:57 AM (/ciMI)

I think it would be-

"Of Spades....Ace Of Spades."

Posted by: naturalfake at February 27, 2016 08:59 AM (KUa85)

Reilly: Ace of Spies. We should have known it all along!!1!

Posted by: TheQuietMan at February 27, 2016 09:16 AM (45oDG)

214 Posted by: Prescient12 at February 27, 2016 09:14 AM (BfxxB)

It sure wouldn't bother me at all if you went back to HA!

Posted by: Hrothgar at February 27, 2016 09:16 AM (wYnyS)

215 "The stupid that oozes off of that show is painful.
If all of the "celebrities" who said they were going to leave the
country actually did when a Republican got elected this would be a much
better country

Posted by: TheQuietMan at February 27, 2016 08:38 AM (45oDG)"

I think it was The View where Cameron Diaz said that if George Bush was elected, rape would be legal.

Imagine that you were really, really drunk or stoned all the time so that you have trouble tying your shoes or understanding how to tell time. That is what it must be like to be as stupid as Cameron Diaz.

Posted by: Obnoxious A-Hole at February 27, 2016 09:16 AM (QHgTq)

216 What do I use, sugar cure rubbed brisket? Do I let it sit and draw the juice? How do I cut it, in strips for jerky or as a roast?
I have no idea what I am doing. It has no moving parts.
Posted by: Kindltot at February 27, 2016 08:54 AM (q2o3

Brisket is the big old chest muscle of the cow. Tough. You really can't hurt it. Cook low and slow and add any flavors/liquids you like. And always slice it against the grain, so it chews nice and tender. Remember low and slow. Like Jeb!

Posted by: Hairyback Guy at February 27, 2016 09:16 AM (ej1L0)

217 Bro, have a snickers.

Posted by: Lauren

lol

Posted by: Turd Ferguson at February 27, 2016 09:16 AM (/ciMI)

218
210 Ace lied and said he liked Trump.

Ace lied and said he supported Cruz.

Ace is a Rubio/establishment guy.

He/she will do what his paymasters say to do.

A true traitor.

Fuck Ace.
Posted by: Prescient12 at February 27, 2016 09:14 AM (BfxxB)

Bless your heart. You licked the paint can lid as a child, right?

Posted by: AlaBAMA at February 27, 2016 09:17 AM (pUDQf)

219 Posted by: Turd Ferguson at February 27, 2016 09:05 AM (/ciMI)

...Dats a gut vone!

Posted by: AHNOLD! at February 27, 2016 09:17 AM (INxoa)

220 NOOD

Posted by: Y-not (@moxiemom) at February 27, 2016 09:18 AM (t5zYU)

221 Person of Interest has this hot red head therapist, played by a woman called "Wrenn Schmidt". There's an interesting name for you. She is on twitter, so there I go, and wouldn't you know it? She is so in the tank for Obumbles that every single tweet for a long string (so long I finally just gave up) was whining about the GOP not being willing to replace Scalia with a soul-sucking Marxist (though she didn't put it exactly that way).

Why do hot actresses always go full left, even minor ones? What is it about being in the entertainment biz that does this?

Posted by: MTF at February 27, 2016 09:19 AM (TxJGV)

222 Mrs. Hammen: Jim never vomits at home.

Posted by: Count de Monet at February 27, 2016 09:19 AM (JO9+V)

223 Imagine that you were really, really drunk or stoned all the time so that you have trouble tying your shoes or understanding how to tell time. That is what it must be like to be as stupid as Cameron Diaz.

Posted by: Obnoxious A-Hole at February 27, 2016 09:16 AM (QHgTq)

What's worse is the idiots in the audience that clap, cheer and believe the stupidity.

Posted by: TheQuietMan at February 27, 2016 09:19 AM (45oDG)

224 �I always get picked for a pat down. It's because I'm an attractive woman. No question. The TSA is run by pervs.Posted by: Lauren

Jane D'oh told some story years ago about her encounter with some TSA dude with a foot fetish. She was pissed.

Posted by: mega machines at February 27, 2016 09:20 AM (fbovC)

225 Ace is a Rubio/establishment guy.

Posted by: Prescient12 at February 27, 2016 09:14 AM

Uh...okay

*backs away slowly*

Posted by: Uncle Touchy at February 27, 2016 09:20 AM (G+mgP)

226 Is MUMR posting again under the name prescient 12?

Posted by: Obnoxious A-Hole at February 27, 2016 09:23 AM (QHgTq)

227 I will try that, then. Thank you. It might be a Weber. It looks like a Weber at least.

Posted by: Kindltot at February 27, 2016 09:07 AM (q2o3

If it's a Weber make sure it has the water pan, if you're smoking stuff.

Or you can tend the fire and keep it really small and low.

Eh, if you wanna do brisket, I'd say go for it.

Get a nice fatty cut like, the Point.

Use a good rub.

Put it close to the water pan, if it's a double level Weber. Keep the internal temp around 225F.

Brisket can't be hurried at all. So, plan about a 8 hour wait (and that's for a small 4-5 lbs).

Slice perpendicular to the grain.

Other stuff is more idiot proof.

Chicken is easy peasy.

Ribs are easy. And work well with an overnight brown sugar cure, if that's what you want. Low heat on them too 225F. somewhere between 3.5-4.5 hours depending on cut.

Pork butt/shoulder is almost idiot proof. Very fatty. So, will stay moist. Just leave enough time or buy a smaller piece.

Posted by: naturalfake at February 27, 2016 09:23 AM (KUa85)

228 Figuring out the logistics of flying with my 100-pound dog to Cape Cod this summer, it's not easy. A few airlines offer Pet Travel options for large dogs, but the requirements/restrictions are pages long, not sure if it will be practical. Other option is a long-ass drive from NC and back.

Posted by: Lincolntf at February 27, 2016 09:25 AM (2cS/G)

229 What happened to Prescients 1 through 11?

Posted by: rickl at February 27, 2016 09:27 AM (sdi6R)

230 I think it's more like

"Spades, Aceof Spades!"

Posted by: Hrothgar at February 27, 2016 09:27 AM (wYnyS)

231 What happened to Prescients 1 through 11?

Posted by: rickl at February 27, 2016 09:27 AM (sdi6R)

Bellevue, Ward C, rooms 1-11!

Posted by: Hrothgar at February 27, 2016 09:29 AM (wYnyS)

232 My question to the Horde is this; is this just a fluke, something that is just coincidentally happening here locally in southeast Texas, or is the not-so-dead-after-all Tea Party making a concerted effort to run the usual GOPe suspects out of Congress?
Posted by: The Oort Cloud - Source of all SMODs at February 27, 2016 07:26 AM (2Bjv9)

San Antonio too. Both my state rep and US rep are longtime GOPs with tea partyish guys challenging them.

Posted by: stace at February 27, 2016 09:29 AM (c80mr)

233 Bless your heart. You licked the paint can lid as a child, right?

Posted by: AlaBAMA at February 27, 2016 09:17 AM (pUDQf)

The "Lead paint" can!

Posted by: Hrothgar at February 27, 2016 09:31 AM (wYnyS)

234 Fuck you Ace. You fucking liar. Traitor.

Posted by: Prescient12 at February 27, 2016 09:02 AM (BfxxB)

I thought you were just drunk yesterday. Determined to go out in a bl*zer of glory, I see.

Posted by: Grump928(C) says Free Soothie! at February 27, 2016 09:31 AM (rwI+c)

235 Well, of all the B-21 names I liked "Ring Knocker Boondoggle" the best, but ymmv.

Posted by: sock_rat_eez at February 27, 2016 09:33 AM (Z8DIA)

236 238
I thought you were just drunk yesterday.

Posted by: Grump928(C) says Free Soothie! at February 27, 2016 09:31 AM (rwI+c)

Could still be. Hey, it's 5 pm somewhere.

Posted by: rickl at February 27, 2016 09:33 AM (sdi6R)

237 And still they tell me that Islam is the religion of peace. I say, can't we at least call it the religion of airline inconvenience?

Posted by: FredB at February 27, 2016 09:34 AM (mkgf1)

238 Every Saturday I do a weekly wrap-up of my blog's posts.
Link in nic for those who are interested.

Btw, a big thanks to everyone who read my blog posts on Stacy McCain and on Twitter and Social Media. My eyes almost bugged out of my head when I saw the stats on how many people checked it out.
Thank you very much!

Posted by: @votermom at February 27, 2016 09:35 AM (cbfNE)

239 Since there are five of us, often a dog (and even a cat a couple of times) we drive if it doesn't involve crossing oceans. John used to fly for work post 9-11 and he pretty much had it down to a science. Not sure how the most recent TSA stuff would have affected his system.

Posted by: Polliwog the 'Ette at February 27, 2016 09:36 AM (GDulk)

240 Nice site, votermom, went there yesterday.
Might buy that Japanese clutter book for Mrs Eez, it might be kinda like a master class for her since that sounds like her natural state.
We are exact opposites on that, btw.

Posted by: sock_rat_eez at February 27, 2016 09:44 AM (Z8DIA)

241 My rule of thumb: If the time required to drive is nearly equal to the time to fly, including all the security and other crap around airports, I drive. Unless there is some other extenuating circumstances, this is almost always a win.

Get yourself the TSA known traveler bit so you can go through pre-check. Sooooo much better than not.

Posted by: Vladimir Putin at February 27, 2016 10:21 AM (80GjT)

242 Might buy that Japanese clutter book for Mrs Eez, it might be kinda like a master class for her since that sounds like her natural state.

Check out http://www.flylady.net It is free, and does the same thing without the Hello Kitty.

Posted by: Grump928(C) says Free Soothie! at February 27, 2016 10:22 AM (rwI+c)

243 Morning horde.

Hopefully the last fitting for my teeth today. Woo hoo!

Posted by: RWC - Team BOHICA at February 27, 2016 10:35 AM (hlMPp)

244 My travel experiences have been different. I have fount that if you treat people as you would like to be treated they are more pleasant to deal with.

Posted by: Mario's Luxury Yacht, the Flying WASP at February 27, 2016 10:35 AM (6HWvp)

245 TSA about shit themselves when the body scanner picked up a tums in my pocket and when questioned about it I just ate it.

Splodey splodey little disk.

Posted by: RWC - Team BOHICA at February 27, 2016 10:41 AM (hlMPp)

246 Airports are like suppositories, the bigger they are, the more painful. I've flown through many tiny airports without much trouble.

I once had a flight from Dayton to New York, through Cincinnati. I lived in Cincinnati. So I drove 45 minutes north to catch a flight through my hometown. That may have been a benefit, since the airport is tiny.

Posted by: BourbonChicken at February 27, 2016 10:44 AM (VdICR)

247 >>>>>237 And still they tell me that Islam is the religion of peace. I say, can't we at least call it the religion of airline inconvenience?
Posted by: FredB at February 27, 2016 09:34 AM (mkgf1)

------

I nominate this for threadwinner.

Posted by: Emmie at February 27, 2016 10:45 AM (ezXrF)

248 Last time I flew the TSA caught me with a water bottle in my carry on that I had spaced out throwing away before entering the security line. Quelle horreur!

Posted by: Emmie at February 27, 2016 10:50 AM (ezXrF)

249 I done been willowed.

Posted by: Emmie at February 27, 2016 10:52 AM (ezXrF)

250 "Measure all you want, chief. It's not going to magically grow another eighth of an inch."

Boy, if I had a nickel for everytime I heard that.

Posted by: potsie at February 27, 2016 10:54 AM (Ihoz7)

251 Well in less politically correct times there used to be schools for morons. And on graduation day, all of them were handed job applications for the TSA.

Posted by: Comanche Voter at February 27, 2016 12:10 PM (Sda6L)

252 229
What happened to Prescients 1 through 11?

Posted by: rickl at February 27, 2016 09:27 AM (sdi6R)

...they were inferior and needed to be destroyed.

Posted by: HAL 9000 at February 27, 2016 01:08 PM (INxoa)

253 Thank you krakatoa for standing up to that crap. I had a recent run-in with the TSA and I sadly admit I took it like a puss.

Posted by: dogfish at February 27, 2016 01:47 PM (0O2Lr)

254 The Canadian version of TSA was deeply frightened that I was going to take down a 747 with a cuticle trimmer and a used razor blade.

Sigh. They don't like it when you laugh at them.

Posted by: LCMS Rulz! at February 27, 2016 03:17 PM (O4NI/)

255 Open Blogger, I want to fly with you! I just hate it. Worst ever was taking my 17-year-old daughter on a college visit. The TSA at the Minneapolis-St. Paul airport saw fit to pull my daughter out of line for a feel-up, due to the bling on her jeans pockets. Why that flags you for a feel-up, I'll never know. A fugly fat lezbo TSA'er instructed my daughter to follow her to a private feel-up area. My rather shy teen looked at me in panic, so I said, "I am her mother and I will accompany her." The TSA beotch snarked at my kid, "Oh, do you want your mommy?" I could not believe my ears. I snarked right back, "I WILL accompany my MINOR child, thank you very much." The feel-up process was nothing short of a molestation. Afterwards, my daughter said to me, "Mom, that's the farthest I've ever gone." I didn't get what she meant by that, so she explained: "Sexually. That's the farthes I've ever gone." I'm still sick about it, and I'd still like to smack the snark out of that TSA scum.

Posted by: Tired Mom at February 27, 2016 04:22 PM (VqWZX)

256 * I must footnote myself: "fugly fat lezbo"... Not that there's anything wrong with that.

Posted by: Tired Mom at February 27, 2016 04:33 PM (VqWZX)

257 My God, a tool bag! You could have climbed on the wing mid-flight and removed an engine. Surprised they let you through.

Posted by: mh53j at February 27, 2016 06:04 PM (ThW3U)

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