Well!

The "babypod" allows you to play music for a growing fetus. I guess this takes the idea of stimulating babies with music to an earlier phase.

One catch: The speaker goes up your yiyi.

Is that a catch or a feature? I don't know.

Exit question: What songs have you always dreamed of playing in your snooch and/or dickhole?

If I know young women -- and believe me, I know young women -- this will be the first song on all of their genital playlists.

Posted by: Ace at 01:16 PM

Comments

(Jump to bottom of comments)

1 Shouldn't that be BabiPod?

Posted by: Bigby's Butterfingers at January 05, 2016 01:18 PM (3ZtZW)

2 Also, what's the bass on those things?

Asking for a friend.

Posted by: Bigby's Butterfingers at January 05, 2016 01:19 PM (3ZtZW)

3 Think I'll skip this post...

Posted by: HH at January 05, 2016 01:19 PM (DrCtv)

4 Concert for my woody?

Posted by: VA MK Z at January 05, 2016 01:19 PM (+0aiQ)

5 I mean cmon, Purple Haze yo

Posted by: Bigby's Butterfingers at January 05, 2016 01:20 PM (3ZtZW)

6 Ace, I hope you realize this means that if you insert "London Boys" into some poor woman's playlist, it's rape.

Posted by: MTF at January 05, 2016 01:20 PM (TxJGV)

7 I'm looking towards when the company gets bought by Bose.

Posted by: Bill H at January 05, 2016 01:21 PM (pAH7H)

8 CAT SCRATCH FEVER!

Posted by: Heh at January 05, 2016 01:21 PM (PspVA)

9 I wonder how Andrea Dworkin will feel about the new iPIV?

Posted by: MTF at January 05, 2016 01:22 PM (TxJGV)

10 Let's Get Drunk and Screw

Posted by: The Great White Snark at January 05, 2016 01:22 PM (euo3L)

11 If I was still in my child bearing years, I'd play play AC/DC's "Highway to Hell" for the little spawn as it travels down the ol' birth canal.

Posted by: Hellary Clinton at January 05, 2016 01:22 PM (H9MG5)

12 Don't forget to order it with the handy remote control.

Posted by: CooterSonics Corp. at January 05, 2016 01:22 PM (8ZskC)

13 Admit it, you just posted this so you could come up with new names for a hooha.

Posted by: Jackstraw at January 05, 2016 01:22 PM (/tuJf)

14 Vagina Speaker of the House!

Posted by: WhatWhatWhat? at January 05, 2016 01:23 PM (r9tFS)

15 If I could find my car keys I'd just turn on the radio.

Posted by: Disembodied Punchlines at January 05, 2016 01:23 PM (8ZskC)

16 Never before has one post contained so much nope.

Posted by: Lauren at January 05, 2016 01:24 PM (GZ6Pf)

17 Hey ladies! Buy my new Trump iPIV and it comes with my name printed in gold along the side and preloaded with some of my romantic favorites!

Posted by: Donald J. Trump at January 05, 2016 01:24 PM (TxJGV)

18 Mom please stop banging that speaker against my head!

Posted by: Womb Baby at January 05, 2016 01:24 PM (XtAzU)

19 I nomination Bob Seger's "The Fire Down Below," for no good reason at all.

Posted by: Qoheleth at January 05, 2016 01:24 PM (iIzG7)

20 Who's the black private dick that's a sex machine to all the chicks?

SHAFT!

Posted by: The Great White Snark at January 05, 2016 01:24 PM (euo3L)

21 I got the same effect by putting a Victrola up mine.

Posted by: Sandra Fluke at January 05, 2016 01:24 PM (8ZskC)

22
Inserting Elton John into a woman's vagina would make me chuckle

Posted by: dan-O at January 05, 2016 01:24 PM (ByqK7)

23 So does this mean that dubstep will now have a use?

Posted by: Azenogoth (Freedom or Fire) at January 05, 2016 01:25 PM (4nmNX)

24 Admit it, you just posted this so you could come up with new names for a ~~hooha~~ crankcase.

Posted by: Bigby's Butterfingers at January 05, 2016 01:25 PM (3ZtZW)

25 Exit question: What songs have you always dreamed of playing in your snooch and/or dickhole?

For the ladies: https://youtu.be/sa6ej4OqAIo

For the gents: https://youtu.be/4tYQlzKo9V8

Posted by: Country Singer at January 05, 2016 01:25 PM (GUBah)

26 I'm guessing there will be a lot of Barry White songs on the play list

Posted by: Or Songs that have a lot of humming at January 05, 2016 01:26 PM (nbGZj)

27 All I would care is that the bpm starts at about 120, ramps up into the 150s or so and then goes back down to the, ohhh, let's say 100s.

Posted by: alexthechick - Here SMOD SMOD SMOD at January 05, 2016 01:26 PM (mf5HN)

28 Baby's first words will be a complaint to the landlord.

Posted by: Cicero (@cicero) at January 05, 2016 01:26 PM (8ZskC)

29 Smoke On The Water Breaking

Posted by: whatmeworry? at January 05, 2016 01:26 PM (dZGNV)

30 13 Admit it, you just posted this so you could come up with new names for a hooha.

Heh, and to run the chicks-don't-dig-Rush meme.

Which ain't so true anymore. When I saw Rush live last summer, there were more women than I've ever seen at a Rush show.

My girl said it was the first time she's waited in line at the restroom at a Rush show.

Better late than never, I guess.

Posted by: WhatWhatWhat? at January 05, 2016 01:26 PM (r9tFS)

31 My new iPIV is vintage Cuban and is smokin' !!

Posted by: Billy Clinton, Cigar Man at January 05, 2016 01:26 PM (TxJGV)

32 >>> Admit it, you just posted this so you could come up with new names for a hooha crankcase.

i did but then got bored.

I think the game was already won when someone here started calling it "scamper."

Posted by: ace at January 05, 2016 01:26 PM (dciA+)

33 If I was still in my child bearing years, I'd play play AC/DC's "Highway to Hell" for the little spawn as it travels down the ol' birth canal.
Posted by: Hellary Clinton

Babies With Rabies

Posted by: The Great White Snark at January 05, 2016 01:26 PM (euo3L)

34 anything with heavy bass ?

Posted by: The Jackhole at January 05, 2016 01:26 PM (3mTyP)

35 >>> Which ain't so true anymore. When I saw Rush live last summer, there were more women than I've ever seen at a Rush show.

only because Rush fans have made some money and can afford girlfriends

Posted by: ace at January 05, 2016 01:27 PM (dciA+)

36 Hooked on a feelin ?

Posted by: The Jackhole at January 05, 2016 01:27 PM (3mTyP)

37 If you want the very best in fetal audio systems, trust Crotch Rock-It (tm).

Posted by: Crotch Rock-It, Inc. at January 05, 2016 01:27 PM (H9MG5)

38
She Just Loves My Big 10 Inch....

~Aerosmith

Posted by: fixerupper at January 05, 2016 01:27 PM (8XRCm)

39 If I was still in my child bearing years, I'd play play AC/DC's "Highway to Hell" for the little spawn as it travels down the ol' birth canal.
Posted by: Hellary Clinton

#BabyLivesDoNot Matter

Posted by: The Great White Snark at January 05, 2016 01:27 PM (euo3L)

40 That clump of cells really likes Mozart!

Posted by: Mikey NTH - The Outrage Outlet has Overstocked! Cranky-Pants and Grumpy Sweaters Buy 1 Get 1 Free! at January 05, 2016 01:27 PM (hLRSq)

41
30Days in the Hole

Posted by: flawless male logic at January 05, 2016 01:28 PM (lKyWE)

42 What do you play for a baby you are about to abort?

Posted by: Nevergiveup at January 05, 2016 01:28 PM (gf8BH)

43 Lube doesn't hurt it!

Posted by: Anderson Cooper at January 05, 2016 01:28 PM (TxJGV)

44 I wish was in
yur vagina
Eatin barbecued iguana
I play this band
just a little
muy orgazmo? its a riddle

Posted by: Bigby's Butterfingers at January 05, 2016 01:28 PM (3ZtZW)

45 42 What do you play for a baby you are about to abort?
Posted by: Nevergiveup
----------------

Obama's speeches

Posted by: Roy at January 05, 2016 01:28 PM (VndSC)

46 35: "only because Rush fans have made some money and can afford girlfriends"

Or they have Caitlynned themselves.

Posted by: Azenogoth (Freedom or Fire) at January 05, 2016 01:28 PM (4nmNX)

47 George thorogood bad to the bone.

Posted by: CaliGirl at January 05, 2016 01:29 PM (egOGm)

48 Put it in the refrigerator first.
Maybe as her eyes are Wide!

Posted by: DaveA at January 05, 2016 01:29 PM (DL2i+)

49 What do you play for a baby you are about to abort?
Posted by: Nevergiveup
----------------

Obama's speeches

Baby will abort itself.

Posted by: Cicero (@cicero) at January 05, 2016 01:29 PM (8ZskC)

50 What do you play for a baby you are about to abort?
Posted by: Nevergiveup

----

Fade to Black.

*drop mic*

Posted by: President Barrack Obama at January 05, 2016 01:29 PM (8XRCm)

51 The Chase is better than the Catch, Motorhead.

Posted by: dc at January 05, 2016 01:29 PM (oY/R7)

52 I am a drummer and I had read that it's the rythm, not the melody, that influences the baby's pre-natal behavior.

So, I'd get out the sticks and the foot pedal thingie from the bass drum, and I'd start to go to work on her abdomen. Mostly light riffs and fills, but occasionally a vibrant solo all around her belly button.

She started complaining about the bruising, but I pointed the bass drum striker right at her hoo-ha and she shut up might quick.

After a while she's flinch from the drum play and roll over to protect herself. That's when I'd take the knob-headed sticks from my marching band drum days and pounce on her for three or four good beats.

Now, in fairness, this particular rythm method wasn't perfect. The boys both came out a little "tetched".

I blame her genetics. God knows how usesless the boys would be if I hadn't helped them in the womb.

Posted by: Bandersnatch at January 05, 2016 01:30 PM (1xUj/)

53 (if it's a boy)

Man in the Box

Posted by: Alice in Chains at January 05, 2016 01:30 PM (H9MG5)

54 Also, and this is very very very important, EVERYONE GO LISTEN TO BC AND I'S NEW PODCAST!

https://t.co/uRmaEGU0BH

In which BC rants more than I do and I am not an elf.

Posted by: alexthechick - Here SMOD SMOD SMOD at January 05, 2016 01:30 PM (mf5HN)

55 A steady diet of Peruvian vuvuzela marching tunes.

Posted by: Cicero (@cicero) at January 05, 2016 01:30 PM (8ZskC)

56 44; Wall of Voodoo. Mexican Radio

Posted by: dc at January 05, 2016 01:30 PM (oY/R7)

57 I foresee a resurgence in 2 Live Crew album sales.

Everybody say heeeeeeeeeyyy we want some...

Posted by: Azenogoth (Freedom or Fire) at January 05, 2016 01:30 PM (4nmNX)

58 Frontier Psychiatrist by the Avalanches would be appropriate for any orifice.

Posted by: Jinx the Cat at January 05, 2016 01:31 PM (l3vZN)

59 For the playlist...

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9udxbvHiqGw

Into the Valley by The Skids

Posted by: Dang at January 05, 2016 01:31 PM (2oWD2)

60 Dead Kennedy's too drunk to @#%& comes to mind.

That baby is going to be hammering the cervix trying to get the guy in the basement to turn down his stereo.

Posted by: TexasDan at January 05, 2016 01:31 PM (QVfCp)

61 George Thorogood. "Bad to the Bone."

"On the day I was born, the nurses all gathered 'round..."

Posted by: Qoheleth at January 05, 2016 01:31 PM (iIzG7)

62 Why would you play music to a fetus? A fetus isn't even human. It's just a bunch of tissue that you can cut out if you don't want it, kinda like a mole. I have never played music for any of my moles. I think there would be a definite lack of response.

Posted by: grammie winger, sign of The Time at January 05, 2016 01:31 PM (dFi94)

63 Concert with the absolute shortest lines to the ladies' room?

Primus.

Posted by: Lauren at January 05, 2016 01:32 PM (GZ6Pf)

64 All I would care is that the bpm starts at about 120, ramps up into the 150s or so and then goes back down to the, ohhh, let's say 100s.

Posted by: alexthechick - Here SMOD SMOD SMOD

I'm all about the bass, baby. 'Bout the bass, no treble.

Posted by: Bandersnatch at January 05, 2016 01:32 PM (1xUj/)

65 Tunnel of Love. Dire Straits

Posted by: huerfano at January 05, 2016 01:32 PM (NSb9d)

66 Wouldn't it be better acoustics to just make belly phones? Or was this just another excuse to play with the vajayjay?

Posted by: Gumby Roberts at January 05, 2016 01:32 PM (oDCMR)

67 We gotta get an edge on the other kids. It's like Baby Einstein or pre-pre school. So pointless. Your unborn baby doesn't need music for brain development. He/She needs you not smoke and drink and not get punched in the abdomen. Also, don't have shitty genes. That's about it.

Posted by: Naes at January 05, 2016 01:32 PM (Ypc8j)

68 On a lighter, less gross note: To this day, my daughter loves Scott Joplin and will sing along to "The Entertainer" (she just turned 3). I used to play my whole album when I was pregnant with her and she would daaaaance!

Posted by: pookysgirl at January 05, 2016 01:32 PM (K27gs)

69 The "babypod" allows you to play music for a growing fetus. I guess this takes the idea of stimulating babies with music to an earlier phase.

One catch: The speaker goes up your yiyi.

Lame transparent attempt to develop a wearable vibrator under the guise of a "speaker".

Women have been putting headphones on their bellies and playing music for years.

Posted by: rickb223 at January 05, 2016 01:33 PM (Yu4ah)

70 Born To Be Wild has to be the hands down favorite pooter song.

Posted by: Puddin Head at January 05, 2016 01:33 PM (oDCMR)

71 Qoheleth at January 05, 2016 01:31 PM (iIzG7)
Someone got my joke.

Posted by: CaliGirl at January 05, 2016 01:34 PM (egOGm)

72 Your unborn baby doesn't need music for brain development. He/She needs you not smoke and drink and not get punched in the abdomen. Also, don't have shitty genes.

None of this explains my genius.

Posted by: Cicero (@cicero) at January 05, 2016 01:34 PM (8ZskC)

73 Why would you play music to a fetus?

Serious question. Are they saying the baby can't hear unless you put the speakers in that particular spot?

Because that doesn't sound right.

Posted by: Lea at January 05, 2016 01:34 PM (lIU4e)

74 Also, don't have shitty genes.

Damnit!

Posted by: Blanco Basura at January 05, 2016 01:34 PM (4WhSY)

75 When I hold you in my arms (oh yes)
When I feel my finger on your trigger (oh yes)
I know nobody can do me no harm
Because
happiness is a warm gun, momma
Happiness is a warm gun
Yes it is.
Happiness is a warm, yes it is . . .
Gun!

Posted by: The Great White Snark at January 05, 2016 01:34 PM (euo3L)

76 Why would you play music to a fetus? A fetus isn't even human. It's just a bunch of tissue that you can cut out if you don't want it, kinda like a mole. I have never played music for any of my moles.

No Mole Traaaaaiiiin!?

Posted by: rickb223 at January 05, 2016 01:35 PM (Yu4ah)

77 The "babypod" allows you to play music for a growing fetus. I guess this takes the idea of stimulating babies with music to an earlier phase.
One catch: The speaker goes up your yiyi.
Is that a catch or a feature? I don't know.

Big upswing in sales of Barry White songs?

Posted by: Jay Guevara at January 05, 2016 01:35 PM (oKE6c)

78 Ace, I hope you realize this means that if you insert "London Boys" into some poor woman's playlist, it's rape.

Posted by: MTF at January 05, 2016 01:20 PM (TxJGV)

I'm pretty sure that if you try to insert London Boys there that they will recoil in horror.

Posted by: Emmett Milbarge at January 05, 2016 01:35 PM (nFdGS)

79 To this day, my daughter loves Scott Joplin and will
sing along to "The Entertainer" (she just turned 3). I used to play my
whole album when I was pregnant with her and she would daaaaance!

Posted by: pookysgirl at January 05, 2016 01:32 PM (K27gs)
============================================

My daughter and I went to a Fleetwood Mac concert when she was about 4 months pregnant. I'll have to see if grandgirl #1 has any special affinity for Rhiannon.

Posted by: grammie winger, sign of The Time at January 05, 2016 01:35 PM (dFi94)

80 Serious question. Are they saying the baby can't hear unless you put the speakers in that particular spot?

They say its best when you sing from your diaphragm.

Posted by: Cicero (@cicero) at January 05, 2016 01:35 PM (8ZskC)

81 Overture of 1812?

Posted by: Jean at January 05, 2016 01:35 PM (fBkaR)

82 I mean cmon, Purple Haze yo

Posted by: Bigby's Butterfingers at January 05, 2016 01:20 PM (3ZtZW)

1812 Overture.

Posted by: Jay Guevara at January 05, 2016 01:36 PM (oKE6c)

83 Sasha and Malia are thankful this wasn't around when they were born.

Or they would have been treated to their father's greatest lectures.

Posted by: Anna Puma at January 05, 2016 01:36 PM (/fW7M)

84 Assembly instruction song.

The Neck bone is connected to the...

Posted by: Buzzsaw at January 05, 2016 01:36 PM (XtAzU)

85 73: "Serious question. Are they saying the baby can't hear unless you put the speakers in that particular spot?"

The original vibrators were marketed as "massagers" that had no relation to their intended purpose.

Nothing is new anymore.

Posted by: Azenogoth (Freedom or Fire) at January 05, 2016 01:36 PM (4nmNX)

86 Missed it by thaaaaat much.

Posted by: Jay Guevara at January 05, 2016 01:36 PM (oKE6c)

87 Horrible thought: what if someone plays a Yoko Ono retrospective?

Posted by: Jay Guevara at January 05, 2016 01:37 PM (oKE6c)

88 Which orifice would be best for Hot Blooded?

Posted by: The Great White Snark at January 05, 2016 01:37 PM (euo3L)

89 Tunnel of Love. Dire Straits

Take The Dirt Road.

Posted by: rickb223 at January 05, 2016 01:37 PM (Yu4ah)

90 88: "Which orifice would be best for Hot Blooded?"

Nostril. Definitely.

Posted by: Azenogoth (Freedom or Fire) at January 05, 2016 01:37 PM (4nmNX)

91 I guessing it depends upon the grooming preferences, but The Psychedelic Furs would be a good choice.

Posted by: Wyatt Earp at January 05, 2016 01:37 PM (Agn5J)

92 They need to get another speaker to cram up the cornhole so the kid can have stereo.

Posted by: TexasDan at January 05, 2016 01:38 PM (QVfCp)

93 Assembly instruction song.
The Neck bone is connected to the...

Can we get a copy of that?

Posted by: Telosian surgical team at January 05, 2016 01:38 PM (4WhSY)

94 I never heard it called a yiyi before. I like it. I really like this song! Oh stick it up your yiyi!

Posted by: StrawMan at January 05, 2016 01:38 PM (rIQuo)

95 Is the yiyi the same as the jojo? Or is the yiyi the round-the-corner no-no spot?

Asking for a friend.

Posted by: Dang at January 05, 2016 01:38 PM (2oWD2)

96 Playing muskrat love in your cooze is guaranteed to raise you up a limp wristed metrosexual pussy boy.

Posted by: maddogg, now certified infrequently vile at January 05, 2016 01:38 PM (xWW96)

97 Wait.....this product was necessary?

Because, news flash to idiots who buy this, the kid can hear things going on outside the womb while they're inside the womb.

Ask any mother whose kid responded to their voice or to music, etc.

Posted by: BCochran1981 - Credible Hulk at January 05, 2016 01:38 PM (gW5Vg)

98 I am sure from my time in the ER that few dim wits will get the speaker stuck up there

Posted by: Nevergiveup at January 05, 2016 01:38 PM (gf8BH)

99 Um, I thought it was just a "clump of cells" until it exited the vagina - why would this random mass of flesh need music??????

Posted by: Lizzy at January 05, 2016 01:39 PM (NOIQH)

100 Come to think of it, tiny baby grandgirl #1 did swing her arms around and get a big smile on her face everyday at noon when the All My Children theme would start. Daughter and I were big fans, before ABC killed it off after 40 years. I don't think I've watched ABC since. Why yes, I do hold a grudge.

Posted by: grammie winger, sign of The Time at January 05, 2016 01:39 PM (dFi94)

101 >>Ask any mother whose kid responded to their voice or to music, etc.

Yep

Posted by: Lizzy at January 05, 2016 01:40 PM (NOIQH)

102 I suspect liberals won't buy this because why play music for a clump of cells?

Posted by: Wyatt Earp at January 05, 2016 01:40 PM (Agn5J)

103 "What songs have you always dreamed of playing in your snooch and/or dickhole?"

something by Tom Jones?

Posted by: Feh at January 05, 2016 01:40 PM (jCu9t)

104 99 Um, I thought it was just a "clump of cells" until it exited the vagina - why would this random mass of flesh need music??????
Posted by: Lizzy at January 05, 2016 01:39 PM (NOIQH)

To comfort it before it's leftard mother has it ripped up and vacuumed out.

Posted by: maddogg, now certified infrequently vile at January 05, 2016 01:40 PM (xWW96)

105 Nugent's Stranglehold

Posted by: kathysaysso at January 05, 2016 01:40 PM (fMQoG)

106 Also, don't have shitty genes. That's about it.
Posted by: Naes at January 05, 2016 01:32 PM (Ypc8j)

I am fortunate to not look mumblety years old. I'm asked from time to time to what do I credit this. Here are my secrets.

Moisturize, moisturize, moisturize.

Stay out of the sun.

Drink lots of water and green tea.

And this is the most important and if you do this you can ignore those other three, hit the genetic lottery.

Posted by: alexthechick - Here SMOD SMOD SMOD at January 05, 2016 01:40 PM (mf5HN)

107 "You're ruining a good pair of earbuds!"

Posted by: Dang at January 05, 2016 01:41 PM (2oWD2)

108 103:"something by Tom Jones?"

Everyone was Kung-Fu Fighting.

Yes. He sang a version of it for the Supercop soundtrack.

Posted by: Azenogoth (Freedom or Fire) at January 05, 2016 01:41 PM (4nmNX)

109 Nugent's Stranglehold

Cat Scratch Fever.

In more ways than one.

Posted by: rickb223 at January 05, 2016 01:41 PM (Yu4ah)

110 I am sure from my time in the ER that few dim wits will get the speaker stuck up there

===

I SAT ON IT SWEARZIES

Posted by: Bigby's Butterfingers at January 05, 2016 01:41 PM (3ZtZW)

111 "What songs have you always dreamed of playing in your snooch and/or dickhole?"

something by Tom Jones?

It's not unusual.

Posted by: Blanco Basura at January 05, 2016 01:41 PM (4WhSY)

112 The original vibrators were marketed as "massagers" that had no relation to their intended purpose.

Nothing is new anymore.

There was a great Mad Men episode where they were supposed to advertise a weight loss belt which vibrated.

Nobody lost any weight, but they discovered "other benefits".

Posted by: Bandersnatch at January 05, 2016 01:41 PM (1xUj/)

113 Beat It!

Posted by: Anthony Weiner at January 05, 2016 01:41 PM (2cS/G)

114 by the way, as a father of multiple kids, I'd like to tell the young Hordelings that viewing ultrasounds and playing with kids before they're even born are among the most wondrous experiences in life

bar none

Posted by: Feh at January 05, 2016 01:41 PM (jCu9t)

115 "Big Beaver" by Bob Wills and the Texas Playboys?

Posted by: Furious George at January 05, 2016 01:41 PM (3GAnN)

116 Hey, good lookin' baby, we'll be back to pick you up later!

Posted by: Mr. Vaginaphone at January 05, 2016 01:42 PM (Ui7Rt)

117 Wait.....this product was necessary?

Posted by: BCochran1981 - Credible Hulk at January 05, 2016 01:38 PM (gW5Vg)

You know that leg warmers were a thing for awhile even though there were already socks, right?

Posted by: TexasDan at January 05, 2016 01:42 PM (QVfCp)

118 For single mothers, "The Lady is a Tramp," by Sinatra?

Posted by: Wyatt Earp at January 05, 2016 01:42 PM (Agn5J)

119 Ride of the Valkyries

Posted by: kathysaysso at January 05, 2016 01:42 PM (fMQoG)

120 "What songs have you always dreamed of playing in your snooch and/or dickhole?"

something by Tom Jones?
----
It's not unusual.

Posted by: Blanco Basura at January 05, 2016 01:41 PM (4WhSY)

Then the kid comes out dancing like this:

https://youtu.be/zS1cLOIxsQ8

Posted by: Country Singer at January 05, 2016 01:42 PM (GUBah)

121 Soothing music? - Finlandia

Posted by: grammie winger, sign of The Time at January 05, 2016 01:42 PM (dFi94)

122 113: "Beat It!"

Isn't that for the fleshlight version?

Posted by: Azenogoth (Freedom or Fire) at January 05, 2016 01:42 PM (4nmNX)

123 no votes for Metallica's "Enter Sandman"?

Posted by: Feh at January 05, 2016 01:42 PM (jCu9t)

124 Nugent's Stranglehold

Cat Scratch Fever.

Wang Dang Sweet Poontang. It's like Ted saw this coming years ago.

Posted by: Dang at January 05, 2016 01:43 PM (2oWD2)

125 You know that leg warmers were a thing for awhile even though there were already socks, right?

Posted by: TexasDan at January 05, 2016 01:42 PM (QVfCp)

*handwaves*

The 80s don't count. Everyone was strung out on coke. As the fashion clearly indicates.

Posted by: BCochran1981 - Credible Hulk at January 05, 2016 01:43 PM (gW5Vg)

126 52 I am a drummer and I had read that it's the rythm, not the melody, that influences the baby's pre-natal behavior.

Posted by: Bandersnatch at January 05, 2016 01:30 PM (1xUj/)

Ah, so anything from the Gene Hoglan catalog would be a great candidate for the cooter-speaker.

"Let's crank up the 'Strapping Young Lad,' honey!"

Posted by: antisocial justice beatnik's on vacation at January 05, 2016 01:43 PM (a3mAP)

127 If mommy had only discovered the babypod before she wouldn't have gotten pregnant.

Posted by: StrawMan at January 05, 2016 01:44 PM (rIQuo)

128 PAUL ANKA morons

Posted by: Bigby's Butterfingers at January 05, 2016 01:44 PM (3ZtZW)

129 Zamfir the King of the panflute.

Posted by: Buzzsaw at January 05, 2016 01:44 PM (XtAzU)

130 When you use your snoochbox, play Babymetal on it for maximum effect.

https://youtu.be/MhvDxBMezXU

Posted by: Christopher Taylor at January 05, 2016 01:44 PM (39g3+)

131 I wonder what this kid's parents played for him:

http://cbsn.ws/1UpnKrv

Exceptional jazz piano at age TWELVE. Holy cats.

Posted by: Feh at January 05, 2016 01:44 PM (jCu9t)

132 I can envision ladies using these to play a lot of club and dance music.

Posted by: Christopher Taylor at January 05, 2016 01:44 PM (39g3+)

133 If it's a boy....

Big Balls (AC/DC)

Posted by: Lady in Black....sigh at January 05, 2016 01:44 PM (pVkEV)

134 +1 Paul Anka's rant

Posted by: Feh at January 05, 2016 01:44 PM (jCu9t)

135 I expect Bernie Sanders to craft a speech to say that This Is What Is Wrong With America And Capitalism. Millions of poor and near poor, hungry on the streets, and we're spending money on Dolby 5.1 for the vajayjay...

Posted by: Qoheleth at January 05, 2016 01:45 PM (iIzG7)

136 Dem lady-What does the Fox say?

Rep lady-Bolero

Posted by: wrg500 at January 05, 2016 01:45 PM (oyjl/)

137 When you use your snoochbox, play Babymetal on it for maximum effect.

"Daddy plays the squeezebox, momma can't sleep at night"

Posted by: rickb223 at January 05, 2016 01:45 PM (Yu4ah)

138 Why would you play music to a fetus? A fetus isn't even human. It's just a bunch of tissue that you can cut out if you don't want it, kinda like a mole. I have never played music for any of my moles. I think there would be a definite lack of response.
Posted by: grammie winger, sign of The Time at January 05, 2016 01:31 PM (dFi94)

--------------

Heh. Good point. You should go to their website and ask them if they support abortion on demand. This sounds like a hipster product, so their answer could be enough for another post.

Posted by: Soona at January 05, 2016 01:45 PM (Fmupd)

139 Ok, totally and completely off the topic of musical ladyparts, but this could be big. Or it could be nothing.

Gov. Abbott just posted this on his facebook page:

"I will be making an announcement about this later this week: In Federalist 45, James Madison explains how America is supposed to work.

The powers delegated by the proposed constitution to the federal government are few and defined. Those which are to remain in the State governments are numerous and indefinite. "

I'm guessing this is in response to Obama's EO,but we'll see.

Posted by: Lauren at January 05, 2016 01:45 PM (GZ6Pf)

140 What's funny is that *after* my son was born, the best way to sooth him into sleep was setting him down (in the baby carrier) next to the running dishwasher (i.e. womb sounds).

The only music that worked was reggae...

Posted by: Lizzy at January 05, 2016 01:45 PM (NOIQH)

141 Obama has one of these for playing back his speeches.

Posted by: Damiano at January 05, 2016 01:45 PM (XItbt)

142 Speaking of lottery Empress, the Mega is tonight.

Posted by: Anna Puma at January 05, 2016 01:45 PM (/fW7M)

143 Air On A G String.

Because sometimes you gotta go with the classics.

Posted by: Zombie JS Bach at January 05, 2016 01:46 PM (JBggj)

144 Wang Dang Doodle

Posted by: Feh at January 05, 2016 01:46 PM (jCu9t)

145 It's not a snatchbox its a twat tweeter.

Posted by: StrawMan at January 05, 2016 01:46 PM (rIQuo)

146 "Obama has one of these for playing back his speeches."

distributed for free at a Planned Parenthood location near you

Posted by: Feh at January 05, 2016 01:47 PM (jCu9t)

147 I will lease my mind for $199/month to Allah or Obama.

Posted by: Ta Nehisi-Coates at January 05, 2016 01:47 PM (lHyWr)

148 Then the kid comes out dancing like this:

https://youtu.be/zS1cLOIxsQ8

Better than I can.

Posted by: Blanco Basura at January 05, 2016 01:47 PM (4WhSY)

149 Rolling Stones - Can you hear me knocking.

Posted by: DaveA at January 05, 2016 01:48 PM (DL2i+)

150 Air On A G String.

I prefer to see G-strings moist.

Posted by: Bandersnatch at January 05, 2016 01:48 PM (1xUj/)

151 Anka did Havin My Baby so that's all kinds of hysterical right there

Posted by: Bigby's Butterfingers at January 05, 2016 01:48 PM (3ZtZW)

152 What would Megan that does butt stuff inesrt?
Well, I guess she's All 'Bout That Bass, so...

Posted by: Chi at January 05, 2016 01:48 PM (gQfxF)

153 Monster Mash

Posted by: Sandra Fluke at January 05, 2016 01:48 PM (2cS/G)

154 Donald Fagen arrested for assaulting his wife at their UES
apartment.

Posted by: boniface ballers at January 05, 2016 01:48 PM (m/Gc2)

155 Not gonna get a lot of that really satisfying bass response from a little thing like that, I agree. Plus, people will wonder why music is coming from your skirt.

Posted by: Christopher Taylor at January 05, 2016 01:49 PM (39g3+)

156 Foghorn sounds.

Posted by: Jay Guevara at January 05, 2016 01:49 PM (oKE6c)

157 There was a great Mad Men episode where they were supposed to advertise a weight loss belt which vibrated.

didn't vibrators start as a cure for hysteria?

which is also a song.

Posted by: Lea at January 05, 2016 01:49 PM (lIU4e)

158 Squeeze Box would be a great choice.

Posted by: Pete Townsend at January 05, 2016 01:49 PM (TxJGV)

159 Monster Mash

===

November Spawned a Monster

Posted by: Bigby's Butterfingers at January 05, 2016 01:50 PM (3ZtZW)

160 Dirty deeds done dirt cheap.

Posted by: Sandra Fluke at January 05, 2016 01:50 PM (LYCUN)

161 Muse - "Super Massive Hole"?

Posted by: Lizzy at January 05, 2016 01:50 PM (NOIQH)

162 didn't vibrators start as a cure for hysteria?

I was massaging her womb!

Posted by: Dr. Lionel Badger at January 05, 2016 01:51 PM (39g3+)

163 23rd Psalms

Posted by: wrg500 at January 05, 2016 01:51 PM (oyjl/)

164
LET THE BABIES SLEEP!!!!1!!!!

Posted by: Bruce With a Wang! at January 05, 2016 01:51 PM (iQIUe)

165 My wife touched my penis, but it fell off and rolled under the sofa.

Can someone reach under there and grab it for me?

Thanks, I'd really appreciate it. My arms aare kinda short.

Posted by: Chazz Bono at January 05, 2016 01:51 PM (lHyWr)

166 Ugh, that's - "Super Massive Black Hole"?

Posted by: Lizzy at January 05, 2016 01:52 PM (NOIQH)

167 Muse has a lot of bass centric songs that could be.... fun.

Posted by: Nigel West Dickens at January 05, 2016 01:52 PM (LYCUN)

168 sorry to hear that about Fagen's wife

love the music, but shaking head

Posted by: Feh at January 05, 2016 01:52 PM (jCu9t)

169 People Are Strange

Posted by: typo dynamofo at January 05, 2016 01:52 PM (/cTov)

170 Foghorn sounds.
Posted by: Jay Guevara

Leghorn?

Posted by: Jinx the Cat at January 05, 2016 01:53 PM (l3vZN)

171 Inna Twatta Da Vida

Posted by: DangerGirl and her 1.21 Gigawatt Sanity Prod (tm) at January 05, 2016 01:53 PM (FTf+m)

172 Sisters Are Doin' It For Themselves - Eurythmics

Posted by: Lena Dunham at January 05, 2016 01:53 PM (2cS/G)

173 Babies will be fabulous is this is played...

https://youtu.be/gzoEK545j64

And groovy

Posted by: Anna Puma at January 05, 2016 01:54 PM (/fW7M)

174 The Age of Stupid abides.

Posted by: Circa (Insert Year Here) at January 05, 2016 01:54 PM (659DL)

175 Muse has a lot of bass centric songs that could be.... fun

Bingo!

Posted by: Lizzy at January 05, 2016 01:54 PM (NOIQH)

176 I predict the song women will play will be,

WE LIKE THE CARS, THE CARS THAT GO BOOM!

Posted by: Pastorius at January 05, 2016 01:54 PM (gMAUH)

177 PT Barnum is alive and well...There is a sucker born every minute.

Posted by: Diogenes at January 05, 2016 01:54 PM (r65B3)

178 155 Not gonna get a lot of that really satisfying bass response from a little thing like that, I agree. Plus, people will wonder why music is coming from your skirt.
Posted by: Christopher Taylor at January 05, 2016 01:49 PM (39g3+)

--------------------

I didn't know that song had such an echo effect.

Posted by: Soona at January 05, 2016 01:54 PM (Fmupd)

179 U2 - "Mysterious Ways"

Posted by: Lizzy at January 05, 2016 01:55 PM (NOIQH)

180 Nobody mentioned Paul Anka's song??

Posted by: Big Freakin Al at January 05, 2016 01:55 PM (iWo0u)

181 Honestly, I thought Donald Fagan was the gay.
Go know.

Posted by: Chi at January 05, 2016 01:55 PM (gQfxF)

182 simplistic jangly girl music

http://is.gd/D9P1mJ

sambassadeur

Posted by: Bigby's Butterfingers at January 05, 2016 01:55 PM (3ZtZW)

183 Pro Abortion supporters can't acknowledge that this product exists.

Posted by: Max Rockatansky at January 05, 2016 01:56 PM (L8slQ)

184 Plus, people will wonder why music is coming from your skirt.
Posted by: Christopher Taylor
--------------------
Leave GGE out of this.

Posted by: Chi at January 05, 2016 01:56 PM (gQfxF)

185 I came to the guitar solo in November Rain.

Posted by: Lena Dunham at January 05, 2016 01:56 PM (lHyWr)

186 sorry missed #151

Posted by: Big Freakin Al at January 05, 2016 01:56 PM (iWo0u)

187 No. Just no. Sing to your baby. Talk to your baby. Don't get so bloody lazy that you need to stick something up your hoo-haa and have someone else sing to the baby you are carrying.

Posted by: IC at January 05, 2016 01:56 PM (a0IVu)

188 I Touch Myself-- DiVinyls

Posted by: Big Freakin Al at January 05, 2016 01:58 PM (iWo0u)

189 You shdnt be sticking anything up there that doesnt belong there. You also need to connect it to an ipod. Also it costs $133 bucks.

Posted by: Bruce With a Wang! at January 05, 2016 01:58 PM (iQIUe)

190 to stick something up your ~~hoo-haa~~ flange

Posted by: Bigby's Butterfingers at January 05, 2016 01:59 PM (3ZtZW)

191 The late, great Lemmy playing Ace of Spades of course.

Posted by: Dave at Buffalo Roam at January 05, 2016 01:59 PM (kJ/ZP)

192 Hole - Teenage Whore

Posted by: NotCoach at January 05, 2016 01:59 PM (rsudF)

193 Are they going to display these in stores like stereos and earphones where you can try them out?

Posted by: TexasDan at January 05, 2016 01:59 PM (QVfCp)

194 Boy? Bad To The Bone by George and the Delaware Destroyers. Girl? Thing Called Love by Bonnie Raitt. By the way, can one of youse guys put me some knowledge on iPhones? My iPhone 5S went toes up over night. Had to get a 6S this morning. Problem is I don't know my apple old password or how to change to a new password. The apple 'help' number routed me to a non-engrish speaker who offered to help me for a one time fee of '$49.9999'. Direct quote from him. All the hell I want a password for is to get apps like weather bug or english-spanish translator. Advice?

Posted by: Eromero at January 05, 2016 02:00 PM (b+df9)

195 The glorious and beautiful Mrs naturalfake was convinced that all of our kids could hear the outside and especially music just fine.

The kiddos in utero always reacted to music, even that which was not particularly loud.

I'm calling both BS and unnecessary on the "babypod".

Of course, now you can have a kid born with pre-damaged hearing- so they don't have to go to rock concerts during their teen years.

so...you have that working for you.

Posted by: naturalfake at January 05, 2016 02:00 PM (0cMkb)

196 So, I was getting all inventy and decided to make one of these things.

I started out with a simple cylinder about 7" long. I put the vibrating bit on what would be the anterior side of the shaft. To secure it in place I found it was helpful to have one extension that could anchor lightly in the butthole.

Another would sort of clamp it from the outside, gently, in a region just above the labial opening. I made that part vibrate too.

In the end, it turned out the thing didn't even need music.

Posted by: Bandersnatch at January 05, 2016 02:00 PM (1xUj/)

197 And obviously, the best song to play to your uterus is "Stay up Late" by Talking Heads

Posted by: Lauren at January 05, 2016 02:01 PM (LzzEz)

198 Baby Got Back

Posted by: Kim Kardashian at January 05, 2016 02:01 PM (L8slQ)

199 Upcoming commercial on TV.

"We here at Sackem and Loot have a class action lawsuit pending against the makers of the Babypod product. If your infant was delivered Kung-Fu dancing or with other strange habits such as doing 'Hammer Time,' you may be eligible for monetary compensation. Please contact our law office for a consultation. You will be charged nothing unless we win."

Posted by: Anna Puma at January 05, 2016 02:02 PM (/fW7M)

200 I guess She-Bop by Cindy Lauper will get a resurgence with this.

Posted by: Christopher Taylor at January 05, 2016 02:02 PM (39g3+)

201 Hoo-hah. That's always a good one.

Posted by: DangerGirl and her 1.21 Gigawatt Sanity Prod (tm) at January 05, 2016 02:02 PM (FTf+m)

202 Coming to America

Posted by: Anchor Baby at January 05, 2016 02:02 PM (2cS/G)

203 196
Bandersnatch, won't a sybian just be easier?

Posted by: wrg500 at January 05, 2016 02:02 PM (oyjl/)

204 O/T

Just back from lunch. NY Slime story on nothing gun speech,

"With tears running down his fake ass cheeks, Obama announced a nothing burger for everyone"

Well that is not exactly what they said.

Posted by: Nip Sip at January 05, 2016 02:02 PM (jJRIy)

205 Are they going to display these in stores like stereos and earphones where you can try them out?

"Clean up on aisle 9! Wet mop to aisle 9 please!"

Posted by: rickb223 at January 05, 2016 02:03 PM (Yu4ah)

206 In honor of the JEF's last year in office:

THE FINAL COUNTDOWN, by Europe

Posted by: ALH at January 05, 2016 02:07 PM (JrKKc)

207 The funny thing is, the research says that newborns can recognize their mothers' voices almost immediately, meaning they can hear things happening in utero. In other words, they can hear things just fine without needing speakers shoved up the hoohah.

I mean, unless that's your thing.

Posted by: Hal at January 05, 2016 02:10 PM (O7cgj)

208 Suspect our slow bunny slope decline is tipping over to double diamond.

Posted by: Man from Wazzustan at January 05, 2016 02:10 PM (FtrY1)

209 "Down In A Hole" - Alice in Chains

Posted by: Jeffrey Pelt at January 05, 2016 02:11 PM (veJi0)

210 How are they going to handle returns?

Posted by: Nevergiveup at January 05, 2016 02:12 PM (gf8BH)

211 I'm getting an echo.

Posted by: Caitlyn Jenner at January 05, 2016 02:13 PM (lHyWr)

212 Blister in the sun- Violent femmes

Let me go out
like a blister in the sun
let me go out

Posted by: Suppressed Flasher at January 05, 2016 02:13 PM (X+nFp)

213
"Close to the Vag" YES

Posted by: naturalfake at January 05, 2016 02:13 PM (0cMkb)

214 Are they gonna make an anal one for stereo?

Posted by: Nevergiveup at January 05, 2016 02:14 PM (gf8BH)

215 O/T

Obama's new thug background check!

http://tinyurl.com/z7chltt

Posted by: Nip Sip at January 05, 2016 02:16 PM (jJRIy)

216 How are they going to handle returns?

With latex gloves.

Posted by: Blanco Basura at January 05, 2016 02:16 PM (4WhSY)

217 Taps?

Posted by: Planned Parenthood at January 05, 2016 02:16 PM (lHyWr)

218 I'd bet on the young girls going for the live version of Moby Dick with the 12 minute John Bonham drum solo.

http://bit.ly/1VFShTh

Posted by: Strategic Corporal USMC at January 05, 2016 02:17 PM (nCdjo)

219 1812 Overture - with cannons, of course !!

Posted by: txmarko at January 05, 2016 02:17 PM (auEkj)

220 Since a speaker actually has to move air to function, I'm thinking this device could have awkward side effects.

Posted by: TexasDan at January 05, 2016 02:19 PM (QVfCp)

221 In the end, it turned out the thing didn't even need music.
Posted by: Bandersnatch at January 05, 2016 02:00 PM (1xUj/)

Dolphin noses are better than rabbit ears.

So I've been told.

By other people.

Who are not me.

Posted by: alexthechick - Here SMOD SMOD SMOD at January 05, 2016 02:24 PM (mf5HN)

222 "The "babypod" allows you to play music for a growing fetus. I guess this takes the idea of stimulating babies with music to an earlier phase."

*****

How is this possible.

I keep hearing from the "I fucking LOVE science!!!!111" crowd that fetuses are just clumps of cells.

Posted by: Vyce at January 05, 2016 02:26 PM (ggX8y)

223 Well, "Bat Chain Puller", natch.

Or "When I See Mommy I Feel Like a Mummy"

Posted by: Bat Chain Puller at January 05, 2016 02:34 PM (SCcgT)

224 Todd Terry "Bango" (To the Batmobile) circa August 1988

Posted by: Strategic Corporal USMC at January 05, 2016 02:44 PM (nCdjo)

225 I also brought Rush to play while he sleeps to make him smarter, because leading experts say Rush makes babies smarter.

Posted by: Jason M at January 05, 2016 02:45 PM (A+9q9)

226 If it vibrates, it's a plus....

Posted by: macleod at January 05, 2016 02:45 PM (Qf5bp)

227 215 O/T

Obama's new thug background check!

http://tinyurl.com/z7chltt
Posted by: Nip Sip at January 05, 2016 02:16 PM (jJRIy)

IF Obama had a son...

Posted by: Strategic Corporal USMC at January 05, 2016 02:45 PM (nCdjo)

228 Stop it! When I read the exit question I nearly lost the entire bong puff.

Posted by: bour3 at January 05, 2016 02:54 PM (5x3+2)

229 Soooo, what do liberals play for an about to be aborted fetus? DaDaDa!

Posted by: JerryAtrick at January 05, 2016 02:54 PM (BYU98)

230
Okay, ace, now I am laughing so hard that I am thankful I'm not drinking milk.

Especially when I thought of the following lyric in relation to a young woman's "snooch":
"And the space he invades..."

Posted by: Trump Super Fan at January 05, 2016 02:56 PM (l2dSQ)

231 Exit question: What songs have you always dreamed of playing in your snooch and/or dickhole?

I hate to break his to you, Ace, but unless a father is holding his amplified d******e up to the abdomen of his wife or girlfriend like some kind of stethoscope, or having sex with his amplified d***** the baby will get no benefit from the music. ;^)

And no I don't want any musical amplifiers shoved up any part of me.

Posted by: FenelonSpoke at January 05, 2016 02:57 PM (M+RRn)

232 I just love the word snooch. It sounds both nasty and yet Seussian at the same time.

I will not kiss your snooch
I will not even if you mooch
I do not, will not kiss it now
I do not even like you, cow!

Posted by: Christopher Taylor at January 05, 2016 03:04 PM (39g3+)

233 I wonder how all these touchy-feely libs would feel if someone used this to play Rush Limbaugh and Mark Levin to their kid?

Bwahahahahaha!

Posted by: Dr. Doomsday at January 05, 2016 03:04 PM (W41Dn)

234

...
A slightly more poetic consideration of the lyrics:
"Love and life are deep."

Posted by: Trump Super Fan at January 05, 2016 03:05 PM (l2dSQ)

235 If you're headed to the Planned Parenthood clinic, why not treat 'em some Black Sabbath?

Posted by: Yankee_Doodler at January 05, 2016 03:14 PM (lpHpD)

236 Soothing music? - Finlandia

-
I was a music major in undergrad. A music history professor told us a dramatic story about how in WWII the Finns would gather secretly to listen to Finlandia without the occupying Nazis finding out. There were just two problems: 1) It must have been kinda hard to sneak an orchestra around. (Is that a bassoon in your pocket or are you just happy to see Ilsa She-Wolf of the SS?) 2) Finland was an ally of Nazi Germany.

Posted by: The Great White Snark at January 05, 2016 03:17 PM (Nwg0u)

237 My buddy at college wanted Cher to sing Halfbreed using his dick for a microphone.

Posted by: yoptvoimat at January 05, 2016 03:23 PM (Q4sxC)

238
Doodler @ comment #235:

Now that's some funny "black" humor.

Posted by: Trump Super Fan at January 05, 2016 03:27 PM (l2dSQ)

239 If these came with a woofer, that would sort of start to make sense.

Posted by: Smallish Bees at January 05, 2016 03:32 PM (YPgXi)

240 If it vibrates, it's a plus....
Posted by: macleod at January 05, 2016 02:45 PM (Qf5bp)

Turn it up to 11. It'll vibrate.

Posted by: Bill H at January 05, 2016 03:46 PM (pAH7H)

241 Dunno why these came to mind...

Blackalicious - Alphabet Aerobics
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MvPnM2Q1nwU

Hava Nagila
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uSTOcyevIOE

"Hey Mom, why'd these pop into my head?"

Posted by: Onus at January 05, 2016 03:50 PM (ef0Pq)

242 Why, "Waiting for Jimmy to Kick", by the Butthole Surfers, of course!

Posted by: Gunslinger at January 05, 2016 03:58 PM (4S7hN)

243 Inna-Gadda-da-Vida!

Posted by: sandras fluke at January 05, 2016 04:35 PM (wKcQA)

244 Babies are protected from noise in the womb. They hear Mommy's heartbeat clearly, tho. Interfering with that, plus the risk of overstimulation, seems like a bad idea.

Posted by: Anonymous-9 at January 05, 2016 04:54 PM (vmHHv)

245 The ONLY audio that a women should be sticking up her yi-yi for her vag-spawn should be feminist slam poetry: http://tinyurl.com/nq7ov52

Posted by: Brisco_County at January 05, 2016 05:01 PM (5Rikf)

246 Crappy day. I really needed this laugh.

Posted by: Boot at January 05, 2016 05:46 PM (06wpe)

247 If I were playing music up my woman's yodeler, it would have to be ZZ Top's La Grange.

Posted by: Rusty Nail at January 05, 2016 06:23 PM (S2VsH)

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