Boeing 777 Flight From Mauritius to Paris Makes An Emergency Landing In Kenya After a <i>Fake Bomb</i> Is Discovered in the Bathroom

Boeing 777 Flight From Mauritius to Paris Makes An Emergency Landing In Kenya After a Fake Bomb Is Discovered in the Bathroom

The Boeing 777, on its way from Mauritius to Paris, was evacuated at Mombasa airport and the suspicious device taken away for examination.
Air France chief Frederic Gagey later said it was made of a cardboard box, paper and a timer.
He described it as an "extremely aggressive act".

Nah. It was an invention. Invite him to the White House.

Cool clock, kid!

The fake bomb. Note the prominent ticking
digital clock which screams "I am a bomb."

This French account describes a man interviewed in connection with the incident, retired policeman who had aroused suspicions when he kept going to the bathroom.

The cost of 500,000 euros was caused by the alarm on the Boeing 777. A former policeman was in custody, then released Monday.
Monday night, the border police released the retired policeman who they'd interviewed since the morning after the discover of a simulated bomb in the toilets of flight AF 463 before reaching Paris from the island of Mauritius. Picked up without incident at 6:50 am. on the tarmac of Roissy, the former civil servant was put in custody [by] an inquest opened by the court of Bobigny for "hindering the navigation of the skies and putting in danger the lives of others." His companion (girlfriend, live-in girlfriend?) had been interviewed as a witness.
58 years old and retired for 8 years, the former policeman had aroused suspicions by taking many trips back and forth to the restrooms in which the object was discovered, in a little box cupboard behind a mirror [they have those in airplane bathrooms?!], by a passenger surprised by a worrying ticking...
The civil servant set free, the biggest mystery remains then the identity of the person who had concocted the device, assembling it, in all likelihood, from its component pieces in mid-flight.

Seems like an Inspire magazine DIY project.

Part of the reason they're saying it must have been assembled in mid-flight is that they're saying they would have spotted it in its assembled form had it gone through security.

Yeah, I don't know about that. A lot of this crap gets through.

One thing I cut out of the piece, which is important, is something I couldn't translate-- but I think it might mean they were hesitant to charge him because his frequent trips to the bathroom were explained by his prostate condition.

So this guy actually might be innocent, and his troublesome prostate might have alerted passengers despite having nothing to do with the bomb -- and then those suspicions led to the discovery of the fake bomb.

Like I said, that sentence baffled me. This is my best guess.

The evacuation was costly partly because the emergency air-chutes had been used in the evacuation. I guess those cost a lot of money to replace.

Posted by: Ace at 04:24 PM

Comments

(Jump to bottom of comments)

1 Mauritius is ruled over by the Pompatus of Love.

Posted by: Soledad O'Brien's Earpiece at December 21, 2015 04:26 PM (8ZskC)

2 not first, but close enough for government work

Posted by: Harry Paratestes at December 21, 2015 04:26 PM (AkOaV)

3 It was a clock!

Posted by: ahmed the clock-sucker at December 21, 2015 04:27 PM (DLIIY)

4 Oh gee Clock Boy has a copy-cat now?

And just in time for the Christmas plane madness. Planes, trains, and automobiles anyone?

Posted by: Anna Puma at December 21, 2015 04:27 PM (nGyiN)

5 Cool clock, Ahmed.

Posted by: the littl shyning man at December 21, 2015 04:27 PM (U6f54)

6 The Boeing 777, on its way from Mauritius to Paris, was evacuated at
Mombasa airport and the suspicious device taken away for examination.

They named the airport after the Lion King???

Posted by: Tex Lovera at December 21, 2015 04:27 PM (wtvvX)

7 >>>58 years old and retired for 8 years

good work if you can get it

Posted by: Harry Paratestes at December 21, 2015 04:28 PM (AkOaV)

8 Corgis called

Posted by: rickb223 at December 21, 2015 04:28 PM (Q1QrS)

9 Does anyone know the whereabouts of Ahmed?

Posted by: Skip at December 21, 2015 04:29 PM (k0xxN)

10 Hope no one is planning to fly in the near future.

Posted by: Google at December 21, 2015 04:29 PM (NOIQH)

11 Dry run?

Posted by: Jollyroger at December 21, 2015 04:29 PM (t06LC)

12 I'm shocked, SHOCKED to find fake bombs on this plane!

Posted by: Capt. Renault at December 21, 2015 04:29 PM (8ZskC)

13 7 Posted by: Harry Paratestes at December 21, 2015 04:28 PM (AkOaV)

so the "retired cop" was in all likelihood just being a clock kid at heart...

Posted by: Sven S Blade a.k.a. El Assassin@sven10077 at December 21, 2015 04:30 PM (g8Hfr)

14 Sadly, I predicted this sort of shit. It's something the IRA learned to do, to great effect.

Posted by: Papist Bograt at December 21, 2015 04:30 PM (326rv)

15 11 Dry run?
Posted by: Jollyroger at December 21, 2015 04:29 PM (t06LC)

Well, we've had a few similar ... strange incidents in the US lately.

Young muslim men seemingly staking out movie theaters and such, and nothing coming of it.

Maybe trying to desensitize people?

I don't know.

Posted by: Harry Paratestes at December 21, 2015 04:30 PM (AkOaV)

16 Was it a fake bomb?

...or a composite of failed bombs of the past?

Posted by: Hillary at December 21, 2015 04:30 PM (bcdMv)

17 Hope no one is planning to fly in the near future.

Posted by: Google

Yeah. I've got a wedding to go to in Phoenix in June.
28 hour drive or 3.5 hours flight time.

It's going to be a tough call at the rate things are going.

Posted by: Bruce at December 21, 2015 04:31 PM (8ikIW)

18 Dry run?
---
Or the passenger who smuggled the plastique in his ass didn't get his chance to contribute to the device because of the old guy who kept needing to piss.

Posted by: Methos at December 21, 2015 04:31 PM (ZbV+0)

19 Frequent bathroom visits? Male? Guilty.

*flushing sound*

Posted by: Hillary Redham Clinton at December 21, 2015 04:31 PM (7v/r5)

20 it didn't go off, so it wasn't credible.

I'm sooo wonderful.

Posted by: JEF at December 21, 2015 04:31 PM (326rv)

21 Early OT apologies.

'Sophisticated Trump' sits down with Barbara Walters

http://tinyurl.com/zway5q9

*end the day laughing

Posted by: RWC - Team BOHICA at December 21, 2015 04:31 PM (fWAjv)

22 Wonder if Barky heard about this on the news?

Posted by: Suppressed Flasher at December 21, 2015 04:32 PM (X+nFp)

23 They had a pic of the "device" at WZ or Tepid Air this AM. Looked like a bomb. Would have fooled me too. This was a dry run and I don't think the cop was involved either.

Posted by: Soona at December 21, 2015 04:32 PM (Fmupd)

24 58 and retired for 8 years. If i knew then what I know now I would have been a government drone.

Posted by: JackStraw at December 21, 2015 04:32 PM (/tuJf)

25 love how the frenchies call it a "confection artisanale"

Posted by: Feh at December 21, 2015 04:32 PM (2Wmrt)

26 The civil servant set free, the biggest mystery remains then the identity of the person who had concocted the device, most likely assembled from its component pieces in mid-flight.

Hmm. Was he French French, or just "French"?

Posted by: Cicero (@cicero) at December 21, 2015 04:33 PM (8ZskC)

27 The cost of 500,000 euros was caused by the alarm on the Boeing 777.

Where the hell do they come up with these figures?

Posted by: Bertram Cabot Jr. at December 21, 2015 04:33 PM (FkBIv)

28 a ticking digital clock? the old fake digital ones used to tick.

Posted by: X at December 21, 2015 04:33 PM (57fhp)

29 What is an "emergency air chute" exactly?

Posted by: The Least Interesting Man In The World at December 21, 2015 04:34 PM (mUsVF)

30 Why does pixy hate me so ?

Posted by: The Jackhole at December 21, 2015 04:34 PM (dULJN)

31 Dry run?
---
Or the passenger who smuggled the plastique in his ass didn't get his chance to contribute to the device because of the old guy who kept needing to piss.
Posted by: Methos

I totally did not think of that. Yikes.

Posted by: Blue Hen at December 21, 2015 04:34 PM (326rv)

32 What is an "emergency air chute" exactly?

Posted by: The Least Interesting Man In The World

Hillarys mouth?

Posted by: Bruce at December 21, 2015 04:34 PM (8ikIW)

33 Inspector Clouseau, "Kato! Why iz thiz mirror making ticking sounds?

Kato, "I dunno."

Inspector Clouseau, "It obviously iz a BOMB!"

Posted by: Anna Puma at December 21, 2015 04:34 PM (nGyiN)

34 That was no hoax, I had a whole pot of beans and it could have been ugly if yang know what I mean.

Posted by: McFart at December 21, 2015 04:35 PM (FCj3F)

35 The cost of 500,000 euros was caused by the alarm on the Boeing 777.

Where the hell do they come up with these figures?

The same place car dealers and such get them to replace airbags when deployed?

Posted by: Blue Hen at December 21, 2015 04:35 PM (326rv)

36 Where the hell do they come up with these figures?
---
Probably the same people who calculate GDP and determine fed policy.

Posted by: Methos at December 21, 2015 04:35 PM (ZbV+0)

37 Mombassa?!?! Why Mombassa??!!

Posted by: Oh We're From Nairobi Our Team Is a Good One at December 21, 2015 04:35 PM (laMCB)

38 29 What is an "emergency air chute" exactly?
Posted by: The Least Interesting Man In The World at December 21, 2015 04:34 PM (mUsVF)

Inflatable slides.

Posted by: RWC - Team BOHICA at December 21, 2015 04:36 PM (fWAjv)

39 Oh, probably those slides to exit the plane in an emergency, I bet...

Posted by: The Least Interesting Man In The World at December 21, 2015 04:36 PM (mUsVF)

40 Something is missing in this story. The guy was going to the bathroom a lot , supposedly because of prostate problems, and someone alerted the staff, and then this "device" is found. But was it his device? That was unclear from the story.

Posted by: JoeF. at December 21, 2015 04:36 PM (eD3tF)

41 "For they were not at once admitted to citizenship: just as it was law with some nations that no one was deemed a citizen except after two or three generations ... The reason for this was that if foreigners were allowed to meddle with the affairs of a nation as soon as they settled down in its midst, many dangers might occur, since the foreigners not yet having the common good firmly at heart might attempt something hurtful to the people."

St. Thomas Aquinas

Posted by: Feh at December 21, 2015 04:37 PM (2Wmrt)

42 Yeah, sorry, that wasn't the reason they had to evacuate. I had Chipotle's...

Posted by: Hillary! at December 21, 2015 04:37 PM (OLNwX)

43 What is an "emergency air chute" exactly?
Posted by: The Least Interesting Man In The World at December 21, 2015 04:34 PM (mUsVF)

Just like ordinary, everyday air chutes, only more urgent.

Posted by: BurtTC at December 21, 2015 04:37 PM (Dj0WE)

44 French media with their layers of fact checkers?

Posted by: Anna Puma at December 21, 2015 04:38 PM (nGyiN)

45 25
love how the frenchies call it a "confection artisanale"

Posted by: Feh

I'm getting hints of leather, blackberry, and ass in this C-4.

Posted by: Hipter douchebag with glitter beard and overly tight pants at December 21, 2015 04:38 PM (LAe3v)

46 He couldn't crap out the plastic explosive and fuse, therefore-

Fake bomb.

Remember:

AllBran makes you a better jihad terrorist.

Posted by: naturalfake at December 21, 2015 04:38 PM (0cMkb)

47 *bangs on bathroom stall*
Somebody help me! Is it front to back or back
to front?

Posted by: Hillary Redham Clinton at December 21, 2015 04:38 PM (7v/r5)

48 The new TSA motto

And YOU get an anal exam...And YOU get an anal exam..EVERYBODY gets and anal exam.

Posted by: Bruce at December 21, 2015 04:38 PM (8ikIW)

49 I guess I should have been a French cop.

Then, I could have retired a decade ago and spent my time flying to the islands.

Poor career choices have plagued me all my life.

Posted by: jwest at December 21, 2015 04:38 PM (Zs4uk)

50 Or the passenger who smuggled the plastique in his ass didn't get his chance to contribute to the device because of the old guy who kept needing to piss.
Posted by: Methos at December 21, 2015 04:31 PM (ZbV+0)

I must say, that would be a fantastic, not to mention hilarious, out come.

I tried and tried but Pierre over there kept pissing!

Posted by: alexthechick - love and despair bitches at December 21, 2015 04:38 PM (mf5HN)

51 Something is missing in this story. The guy was going to the bathroom a lot , supposedly because of prostate problems, and someone alerted the staff, and then this "device" is found. But was it his device? That was unclear from the story.
Posted by: JoeF. at December 21, 2015 04:36 PM (eD3tF)

Did the device smell like his anus? If so, I think we have our answer.

Posted by: BurtTC at December 21, 2015 04:39 PM (Dj0WE)

52 How much has Islamic immigration "cost" the west, in increased security measures and loss of freedoms (speech, movement) compared to immigration from other societies where other religions predominate?

Posted by: Lurker Primus at December 21, 2015 04:39 PM (tHP3B)

53 40 Something is missing in this story. The guy was going to the bathroom a lot , supposedly because of prostate problems, and someone alerted the staff, and then this "device" is found. But was it his device? That was unclear from the story.
Posted by: JoeF
_____________

Who needs facts? Let's prosecute him and imprison him!

Posted by: Italian Buffoons Who Prosecuted the Very Hawt Amanda Knox at December 21, 2015 04:40 PM (3GAnN)

54 48
The new TSA motto

And YOU get an anal exam...And YOU get an anal exam..EVERYBODY gets and anal exam.

Posted by: Bruce

Well, not you Muhammad.

Posted by: TSA at December 21, 2015 04:40 PM (LAe3v)

55 Air France fake bomb pic linked in my sock along with an interesting thought experiment re. Clock-Boy.

Posted by: andycanuck at December 21, 2015 04:40 PM (DLIIY)

56 i put up a picture of the fake bomb.

It looks... familiar in some ways.

Posted by: ace at December 21, 2015 04:40 PM (dciA+)

57 "How much has Islamic immigration "cost" the west"

868.3 billion

ok, I pulled that out of my ass

Posted by: Feh at December 21, 2015 04:40 PM (2Wmrt)

58 Constipated?

Try Poop de Semtex, guaranteed to clean out your colon and three square meters of surrounding area.

Posted by: Anna Puma at December 21, 2015 04:41 PM (nGyiN)

59 If they evacuated the plane via the emergency escape slides, then there were almost certain to have been injuries.

Anything in the reports to that? I don't think I've ever heard about a slide evac where someone didn't at least twist an ankle. Surely, some knickers were twisted, mate!

Jim
Sunk New Dawn
Galveston, TX

Posted by: Jim at December 21, 2015 04:41 PM (McRlu)

60 Somebody help me! Is it front to back or back

to front?

Posted by: Hillary Redham Clinton

Just shove a roll in each massive orifice and call it quits.
There's a line out here dammit.

Posted by: Bruce at December 21, 2015 04:41 PM (8ikIW)

61 Cool clock ,Amed!

Posted by: steevy at December 21, 2015 04:41 PM (8HTq1)

62 >>>Something is missing in this story. The guy was going to the bathroom a lot , supposedly because of prostate problems, and someone alerted the staff, and then this "device" is found. But was it his device? That was unclear from the story.

well they don't know yet. He was interviewed, placed in custody, and then released later that day... so it's up in the air.

Posted by: ace at December 21, 2015 04:41 PM (dciA+)

63 off topic, but speaking of crazy, from weaselzippers:

Senior Obama administration officials are expressing concern that congressional attempts to tighten laws preventing terrorists from entering the United States could violate the Iran nuclear agreement and prompt Tehran to walk away from the agreement.

Posted by: mallfly at December 21, 2015 04:41 PM (qSIlh)

64 Fake, but accurate !

Posted by: Oldbuffalo at December 21, 2015 04:42 PM (/pOl7)

65 I'd enjoy having dinner with this in-terror-esting ~~Italian~~ Mauritian.

Posted by: SCOAMF at December 21, 2015 04:42 PM (H9MG5)

66 It's an interesting fact that the French word for "plastique" isn't "plastique" but is "Kaboom!"

Posted by: cliff clavin, usps (ret.) at December 21, 2015 04:42 PM (DLIIY)

67 Cloward and Piven the security apparatus.

Posted by: Barack Alinksy at December 21, 2015 04:42 PM (k8tEg)

68 Planes, trains, and automobiles anyone?
Posted by: Anna Puma at December 21, 2015 04:27 PM (nGyiN)

I watched that movie a week or two ago and I apparently missed the ending/twist as a kid. I just remembered craziness...

I don't know what to make of this story except that it's possible to cause a big mess with clocks...

Posted by: Lea at December 21, 2015 04:42 PM (lIU4e)

69 Senior Obama administration officials are expressing concern that congressional attempts to tighten laws preventing terrorists from entering the United States could violate the Iran nuclear agreement and prompt Tehran to walk away from the agreement.
Posted by: mallfly

...Which they've already denounced...And abrogated.

Posted by: Blue Hen at December 21, 2015 04:43 PM (326rv)

70 so it's up in the air.
Posted by: ace at December 21, 2015 04:41 PM (dciA+)

Or, you know, NOT up in the air.

Posted by: BurtTC at December 21, 2015 04:43 PM (Dj0WE)

71 It looks... familiar in some ways.

Posted by: ace at December 21, 2015 04:40 PM

Like in every movie starring Arnold Schwarzenegger ever made.

Posted by: free range jihadist at December 21, 2015 04:43 PM (7v/r5)

72 re 69: well let's not call the race till Kerry has crossed the finish line

Posted by: mallfly at December 21, 2015 04:43 PM (qSIlh)

73 58 years old and retired for 8 years

Retired is journalistic code for "unemployed". Out of a job.

Terrorism is surely understandable under these conditions.

Posted by: Marie Harf, Spokesmodel to the Stars at December 21, 2015 04:44 PM (TxJGV)

74 #56 Jinx! Ace owes me a Coke!

Posted by: andycanuck at December 21, 2015 04:44 PM (DLIIY)

75 Yo!

Posted by: Yo! at December 21, 2015 04:44 PM (GwIKd)

76 Kerry corssing a finish line?

I think Bing Crosby is still waiting for his horse.

Posted by: Anna Puma at December 21, 2015 04:44 PM (nGyiN)

77 the packaging around the "explosives" looks pretty nice

the tape job is poor, though

the ladies at Barnes & Noble do a better job with the wrapping

Posted by: Feh at December 21, 2015 04:45 PM (2Wmrt)

78 Moslems sure are in the news a lot in 2015.....

Posted by: Yo! at December 21, 2015 04:45 PM (GwIKd)

79 re 73: retired at 50 in France sounds about right to me.

Posted by: mallfly at December 21, 2015 04:45 PM (qSIlh)

80 laws preventing terrorists from entering the United States could violate the Iran nuclear agreement

That must have quite an agreement. Helluvan achievement there, Barky.

Posted by: t-bird at December 21, 2015 04:45 PM (oFSUK)

81 63
off topic, but speaking of crazy, from weaselzippers:

Senior Obama administration officials are expressing concern that
congressional attempts to tighten laws preventing terrorists from
entering the United States could violate the Iran nuclear agreement and
prompt Tehran to walk away from the agreement.

Posted by: mallfly

The administration would clearly like nothing more, since the Iranians haven't signed the thing, and in any case, take every opportunity to wave their dicks in Obama's face to show their contempt. This way, Barry can blame the GOP when the whole thing blows up in his face (literally and figuratively).

"It wasn't my fault. I negotiated a great agreement, but those nasty Republicans were mean and hurt the Iranian's feelings".

Posted by: pep at December 21, 2015 04:46 PM (LAe3v)

82 retired at 50? damn, that's a lot of drinking to look forward to

Posted by: Feh at December 21, 2015 04:46 PM (2Wmrt)

83 Moslems sure are in the news a lot in 2015.....
Posted by: Yo! at December 21, 2015 04:45 PM (GwIKd)

How Rayciss of you to notice.

Posted by: BurtTC at December 21, 2015 04:46 PM (Dj0WE)

84 Perhaps, President Obama will have the bomb over to the White House

Posted by: Debbie Weaselwords Schultz at December 21, 2015 04:46 PM (e8kgV)

85 I don't think you people are speculating wildly enough.

Posted by: Merovign, Dark Lord of the Sith at December 21, 2015 04:46 PM (bLnSU)

86 This might sound dumb, but was it a fake bomb or an incomplete bomb? In other words, was it like a clock-boy thing where nothing much could have happened, or was it a bomb just missing a part?

Posted by: grammie winger, O Come Emmanuel at December 21, 2015 04:47 PM (dFi94)

87 "It wasn't my fault. I negotiated a great agreement, but those nasty Republicans were mean and hurt the Iranian's feelings".

that's EXACTLY what that treasonous bastard will say

Posted by: Feh at December 21, 2015 04:47 PM (2Wmrt)

88 Wait, wait, wait...

He was 58.

And a civil servant.

And had been retired 8 years.

Damn. Good (not) work if you can get it.

Posted by: AmishDude at December 21, 2015 04:47 PM (Xd2w5)

89 re 76: and speaking of horses, Eddie Canter is still waiting for a boy.

Posted by: mallfly at December 21, 2015 04:47 PM (qSIlh)

90 "r the passenger who smuggled the plastique in his ass didn't get his chance to contribute to the device because of the old guy who kept needing to piss."

God bless bad prostates.

Posted by: Lauren at December 21, 2015 04:47 PM (DLBJh)

91
Excusez-moi. Ma prostate est la taille d'une boule de bowling.

Posted by: Ed Anger at December 21, 2015 04:47 PM (RcpcZ)

92 Has anybody noticed that the Muslims seem to hate airplanes ?

Posted by: Francis Gary Powers at December 21, 2015 04:47 PM (e8kgV)

93 79 re 73: retired at 50 in France sounds about right to me.
Posted by: mallfly at December 21, 2015 04:45 PM (qSIlh)

Yeah, but after a relentless career of 30-hour work weeks and six to eight weeks of vacation of year, they've earned it.

Posted by: Bob's House of Flannel Shirts and Wallet Chains at December 21, 2015 04:47 PM (vgIRn)

94
Somebody help me! Is it front to back or back

to front?

Posted by: Hillary Redham Clinton

Just shove a roll in each massive orifice and call it quits.
There's a line out here dammit.
Posted by: Bruce at December 21, 2015 04:41 PM (8ikIW)
........................

This is why Islam hates us.

Posted by: Sheryl "Dingleberries" Crow at December 21, 2015 04:48 PM (HgMAr)

95 >>>retired at 50? damn, that's a lot of drinking to look forward to

Posted by: Feh at December 21, 2015 04:46 PM (2Wmrt)<<<

50? Damn... that's old.

Posted by: too many former MA gov hacks at December 21, 2015 04:48 PM (H9MG5)

96 69 Senior Obama administration officials are expressing concern that congressional attempts to tighten laws preventing terrorists from entering the United States could violate the Iran nuclear agreement and prompt Tehran to walk away from the agreement.
Posted by: mallfly

...Which they've already denounced...And abrogated.
Posted by: Blue Hen at December 21, 2015 04:43 PM (326rv)

-----------------------

Doesn't matter. Fredo will abide to every letter of this agreement. This is the biggest and most obvious set-up that any tyrant has ever done to his country and the world.

And the senate (and, yes, the repubs) voted overwhelmingly for it.

Posted by: Soona at December 21, 2015 04:49 PM (Fmupd)

97 Like in every movie starring Arnold Schwarzenegger ever made.
---
Nah, bro, mine was totally different

Posted by: Predator at December 21, 2015 04:49 PM (ZbV+0)

98 "r the passenger who smuggled the plastique in his ass ..."

I see this as an excuse for TSA agents to do what fraternity hazing isn't allowed to do .. paddle passengers in the ass.

Posted by: Greg Marmalard at December 21, 2015 04:50 PM (e8kgV)

99 I don't think you people are speculating wildly enough.

Posted by: Merovign, Dark Lord of the Sith at December 21, 2015 04:46 PM (bLnSU)

Fnord.

Posted by: ReactionaryMonster at December 21, 2015 04:51 PM (0NdlF)

100 Terrorists don't do dry runs that can be traced back to the person and to the person/group that sent them. I can't think of a case where there was a so called dry run where the person was caught. After they search the person home they find plans and real bombs ready to go. Digital times don't normally tick so how could someone hear it ticking.

Posted by: TJ at December 21, 2015 04:51 PM (6cDf/)

101 The GOPe wants to subsidize it, the Dems want to tax it. The perfect argument for our assholes in DC

Posted by: Misanthropic Humanitarian, Bamboozled by love at December 21, 2015 04:51 PM (voOPb)

102 Nearly five hundred passengers on this jumbo jet. If the airliner had gone down that would have cost the French airline nearly a cool billion in payouts to families of deceased.

But let's open the doors because 'that who we are.'

Posted by: free range jihadist at December 21, 2015 04:51 PM (7v/r5)

103 >>>his might sound dumb, but was it a fake bomb or an incomplete bomb? In other words, was it like a clock-boy thing where nothing much could have happened, or was it a bomb just missing a part?

good question but based on that picture it looks like the "bomb" had fake explosive attached to it. so it seems like a fake.

Interesting scenario, though, where several terrorist mules bring on component parts that do not alert suspicion taken individually, but then each deposits his part of the bomb in the bathroom for assembly by the last man.

Posted by: ace at December 21, 2015 04:52 PM (dciA+)

104 "And now for something completely different, a man with C4 up his nose!"

Posted by: Anna Puma at December 21, 2015 04:52 PM (nGyiN)

105 63 off topic, but speaking of crazy, from weaselzippers:

Senior Obama administration officials are expressing concern that congressional attempts to tighten laws preventing terrorists from entering the United States could violate the Iran nuclear agreement and prompt Tehran to walk away from the agreement.
Posted by: mallfly at December 21, 2015 04:41 PM (qSIlh

YAY!!!!!

Posted by: Misanthropic Humanitarian, Bamboozled by love at December 21, 2015 04:52 PM (voOPb)

106 interesting tj

Posted by: Feh at December 21, 2015 04:52 PM (2Wmrt)

107 I don't think you people are speculating wildly enough.
---
This is what happens when I let Pinky make the plan.

Posted by: The Brain at December 21, 2015 04:53 PM (ZbV+0)

108 Thanks ace.

Posted by: grammie winger, O Come Emmanuel at December 21, 2015 04:53 PM (dFi94)

109 "58 years old and retired for 8 years"

This sort of thing is by no means limited to France.

Here in Commiefornia, "public safety" workers can retire in their fifties on an ironclad, taxpayer-guaranteed, defined-benefit pension keyed to their highest salaried year while working (including OT and bonuses), plus free platinum-plated health care for life.

Former Scum Scamfrisco police chief Heather Fong is being talked up by the Obama administration for a top federal post. Fong doesn't need the money. Despite her "public safety" career having been spent almost entirely behind nice safe desks, Fong retired at something like age 52 on a pension that was north of a quarter of a million bucks per year.

Oh, "public safety" workers around here include beach lifeguards and milk inspectors. Don't laugh! It's dangerous work! You never know when the bullets will start to fly in what appears to be a peaceful rural dairy.

Posted by: torquewrench at December 21, 2015 04:53 PM (noWW6)

110 Interesting scenario, though, where several
terrorist mules bring on component parts that do not alert suspicion
taken individually, but then each deposits his part of the bomb in the
bathroom for assembly by the last man.

Posted by: ace

True, but then each person involved can get cold feet about blowing himself into chowder, and pretty soon, there's a high probability that someone rats out the plot.

Posted by: pep at December 21, 2015 04:56 PM (LAe3v)

111 Merovign, wasn't there an RPG where the bomb would announce itself as a bomb? Or am I thinking of a movie?

Posted by: Anna Puma at December 21, 2015 04:57 PM (nGyiN)

112 I'd say trial run.

Posted by: Lauren at December 21, 2015 04:57 PM (DLBJh)

113 29�What is an "emergency air chute" exactly?

Posted by: The Least Interesting Man In The World at December 21, 2015 04:34 PM (mUsVF)

It is exactly like a non-emergency air chute, only different.

Posted by: Killerdog at December 21, 2015 04:58 PM (FCj3F)

114 where several terrorist mules

Multiple coordinated suiciders, not a JV or lone-wolf operation.

Posted by: DaveA at December 21, 2015 04:58 PM (DL2i+)

115 Merovign, wasn't there an RPG where the bomb would announce itself as a bomb? Or am I thinking of a movie?
Posted by: Anna Puma

Dark Star ?

Posted by: Bertram Cabot Jr. at December 21, 2015 04:59 PM (FkBIv)

116 I'd say trial run.

Posted by: Lauren at December 21, 2015 04:57 PM (DLBJh)
===========================================

That sounds like the most likely explanation.

Posted by: grammie winger, O Come Emmanuel at December 21, 2015 04:59 PM (dFi94)

117 Cool plane Mohammed Atta!

Posted by: President Obama at December 21, 2015 04:59 PM (LYCUN)

118 I can't believe it's not butter...

Posted by: Tilikum Moderately Nefarious Killer Whale at December 21, 2015 04:59 PM (hVdx9)

119 School teachers in Illinois, as well as many other states, can retire as early as 55 with full pension - roughly 75% of what they made the last few years before retiring.

I chose the wrong profession!

My teacher friend in AZ retired and has a second career he's about to retire from for a second pension!

Posted by: Chi-Town Jerry at December 21, 2015 04:59 PM (so+oy)

120 "True, but then each person involved can get cold feet about blowing
himself into chowder, and pretty soon, there's a high probability that
someone rats out the plot."

Assuming they know what they're carrying.

There appears to be some evidence that the lower level muscle types involved in the 9/11 attacks had not been told they were going to be doing anything other than a hijacking for ransom. The reality of it as a deliberate suicide mission was confined to the jihadis tasked with flight deck duty.

Also remembering here the dimwitted Irish chick who after being knocked up by her Palescummian "boyfriend" was talked by him into boarding an airline flight carrying a package to bring to him, said package unbeknownst to her containing a bomb.

Posted by: torquewrench at December 21, 2015 05:00 PM (noWW6)

121 *sulks back into bomb-bay*

Posted by: Bomb Nine at December 21, 2015 05:00 PM (DL2i+)

122 Test run...

Posted by: setnaffa at December 21, 2015 05:00 PM (BtRXi)

123 nteresting scenario, though, where several terrorist mules bring on component parts that do not alert suspicion taken individually, but then each deposits his part of the bomb in the bathroom for assembly by the last man.

Posted by: ace at December 21, 2015 04:52 PM (dciA+)

Nah that wouldn't happen. We shouldn't worry about something like that. That's almost as dumb as terrorists flying planes into buildings.

Posted by: Homeland Security at December 21, 2015 05:00 PM (z/Ubi)

124 Ramzi Yousef (the first WTC bomber) did a dry run on a JAL flight. Killed one passenger. His big plan was to put bombs on about ten US flagged airliners and have them all blow up over the Pacific.
He was successful in smuggling the components onto the aircraft, planting the bomb under a seat, and leaving the plane at an intermediate stop.

Posted by: Old Blue at December 21, 2015 05:01 PM (9iR5/)

125 Why would it be ticking if it's a digital readout?

Posted by: Scott at December 21, 2015 05:01 PM (Bo7uZ)

126 True, but then each person involved can get cold feet about blowing himself into chowder, and pretty soon, there's a high probability that someone rats out the plot.
Posted by: pep

Too many kooks spoil the bomb.

Posted by: Bertram Cabot Jr. at December 21, 2015 05:01 PM (FkBIv)

127 Merovign, wasn't there an RPG where the bomb would announce itself as a bomb? Or am I thinking of a movie?

Posted by: Anna Puma
****

Reminds me of an RPG called Paranoia. Great game with a sick sense of humor.

Posted by: Tilikum Moderately Nefarious Killer Whale at December 21, 2015 05:01 PM (hVdx9)

128 Yousef, it was a flight out of the Philippines that went kinda boom.

Posted by: Anna Puma at December 21, 2015 05:02 PM (nGyiN)

129 Assuming they know what they're carrying....

Posted by: torquewrench

I was assuming they were carrying Semtex suppositories, which doesn't really leave a lot of room for doubt as to what the end of the play looks like.

Posted by: pep at December 21, 2015 05:05 PM (LAe3v)

130 That fucknugget really concentrates inthe important shit.First Bear Grylls now this...

http://tinyurl.com/z7jea2v

Posted by: steevy at December 21, 2015 05:05 PM (8HTq1)

131 126 True, but then each person involved can get cold feet about blowing himself into chowder, and pretty soon, there's a high probability that someone rats out the plot.
Posted by: pep

Too many kooks spoil the bomb.

Seamus Muldoon! You're up!

Posted by: rickb223 at December 21, 2015 05:06 PM (Q1QrS)

132 I think I could be a better comedian than Jerry Seinfeld, honestly.

Posted by: Barack Obama at December 21, 2015 05:06 PM (LYCUN)

133 Philippines Airline Flt 434 in 1994

https://youtu.be/I283jWjcwlE

Posted by: Anna Puma at December 21, 2015 05:06 PM (nGyiN)

134
Fixed fight news:

Fox said Monday that the two-hour debate in Des Moines Iowa on Jan. 28 ahead of that state's caucuses will be anchored by Bret Baier, Megyn Kelly and Chris Wallace. That's the same team that moderated the campaign's first GOP debate in August, which drew a cable news record audience of 24 million people.

Posted by: Laurie David's Cervix at December 21, 2015 05:06 PM (kdS6q)

135 I zink zee bomb may have been brought on board by a specially-trained minkey.

Posted by: Inspector Clouseau at December 21, 2015 05:07 PM (8ZskC)

136 I was assuming they were carrying Semtex suppositories, which doesn't really leave a lot of room for doubt as to what the end of the play looks like.

It eventually leaves a lot of room in the end. IYKWIMAIKTYD

Posted by: rickb223 at December 21, 2015 05:07 PM (Q1QrS)

137 Have the feds investigate those bigots who think this innocent clock is a bomb

Posted by: Ben H at December 21, 2015 05:07 PM (gJEsZ)

138 134 Alternate title :Trump vs Megyn II

Posted by: steevy at December 21, 2015 05:08 PM (8HTq1)

139 Why would it be ticking if it's a digital readout?

Posted by: Scott at December 21, 2015 05:01 PM (Bo7uZ)

Overeager Foley artist?

Posted by: Cicero (@cicero) at December 21, 2015 05:08 PM (8ZskC)

140 39 Oh, probably those slides to exit the plane in an emergency, I bet...
Posted by: The Least Interesting Man In The World at December 21, 2015 04:36 PM (mUsVF)

Lots of materials costs in making them 30,000 feet long.

Posted by: Insomniac - Pale Horse/Death 2016 at December 21, 2015 05:09 PM (kpqmD)

141 They've ruled out terrorism, of course, yes?

Posted by: fly gal at December 21, 2015 05:10 PM (8TdcF)

142 The evacuation was costly partly because the emergency air-chutes had been used in the evacuation. I guess those cost a lot of money to replace.

Like wiper blades when you get them installed at the dealer.

Posted by: Cicero (@cicero) at December 21, 2015 05:10 PM (8ZskC)

143
Alternate title :Trump vs Megyn II
Posted by: steevy

At this point, they've got a Dave and Maddie "will they won't they" Moonlighting thing going on between them.

Posted by: Laurie David's Cervix at December 21, 2015 05:11 PM (kdS6q)

144 I just want to tell you both good luck. We're all counting on you.

Posted by: Dr. Rumack at December 21, 2015 05:11 PM (Ui7Rt)

145 How hard is it to place explosives in a laptop battery compartment?

Posted by: Make America Great Again at December 21, 2015 05:12 PM (LXJ1e)

146 Why would it be ticking if it's a digital readout?

Posted by: Scott at December 21, 2015 05:01 PM (Bo7uZ)

Overeager Foley artist?
Posted by: Cicero

Golf clap.

Posted by: rickb223 at December 21, 2015 05:12 PM (Q1QrS)

147 We've ruled out terrorism. Still don't know the motive, though, because we don't understand Arabic...

Posted by: French Police at December 21, 2015 05:12 PM (oFSUK)

148 104 "And now for something completely different, a man with C4 up his nose!"
Posted by: Anna Puma at December 21, 2015 04:52 PM (nGyiN)

Now watch him blow his nose!

Posted by: ReactionaryMonster at December 21, 2015 05:13 PM (0NdlF)

149 Still don't know the motive, though, because we don't understand Arabic...

Posted by: French Police at December 21, 2015 05:12 PM (oFSUK)
=================================================

Take a calligraphy class.

Posted by: grammie winger, O Come Emmanuel at December 21, 2015 05:13 PM (dFi94)

150 Mauritius is just off Madascar,
Seems like muzzie territory

Posted by: Yo! at December 21, 2015 05:13 PM (GwIKd)

151 No. Writing ACME on the side of it would have screamed it's a bomb.

Posted by: The Coyote at December 21, 2015 05:13 PM (8ZskC)

152 Also in terms of the costs involved in such a diversion, the airline gets stuck with landing fees by the local airport authority, and those fees go up by landing weight.

Posted by: torquewrench at December 21, 2015 05:14 PM (noWW6)

153 150 Mauritius is just off Madascar,
Seems like muzzie territory
Posted by: Yo! at December 21, 2015 05:13 PM (GwIKd)

Madagascar is penguin country.

Posted by: Insomniac - Pale Horse/Death 2016 at December 21, 2015 05:14 PM (kpqmD)

154 We are not releasing the motive at this time because it makes us uncomfortable.

Posted by: Police Nationale at December 21, 2015 05:15 PM (LYCUN)

155 Making emergency landings is just what ISIS wants.

Posted by: Cave Johnson at December 21, 2015 05:15 PM (5/vU+)

156 Doing this gets you disruption of our lives without provoking a military response.

Posted by: eman at December 21, 2015 05:16 PM (mR7Es)

157 145 How hard is it to place explosives in a laptop battery compartment?

Posted by: Make America Great Again at December 21, 2015 05:12 PM (LXJ1e)

Don't they make you turn on your laptop in security? So that wouldn't work if you have a fake battery. Also the last laptop I bought and the last one my sister bought did not have removable batteries.

Posted by: buzzion at December 21, 2015 05:16 PM (z/Ubi)

158 Just be comforted by Obama's declaration that we are safe. There are no credible threats at this time.

Posted by: Tuna at December 21, 2015 05:16 PM (JSovD)

159 Mauritius is just off Madascar,

Was it the one in Kim Basinger's necklace in the Bond film?

Posted by: t-bird at December 21, 2015 05:17 PM (w/iDp)

160 Merovign, wasn't there an RPG where the bomb would announce itself as a bomb? Or am I thinking of a movie?
Posted by: Anna Puma

Dark Star ?

Posted by: Bertram Cabot Jr. at December 21, 2015 04:59 PM (FkBIv)

Dan O'bannon! The guy who [re]wrote [that movie as] Alien. Great stuff. I liked the bit about him being a low IQ fuel tech who gets accidentally shanghaied into going on the mission.

Posted by: Snoodling World Champion 1997 at December 21, 2015 05:17 PM (k9qR4)

161 >>>Also remembering here the dimwitted Irish chick who after being knocked up by her Palescummian "boyfriend" was talked by him into boarding an airline flight carrying a package to bring to him, said package unbeknownst to her containing a bomb.

Posted by: torquewrench at December 21, 2015 05:00 PM (noWW6)

I think that was hidden in a compartment of her luggage and that she did not know it was there. El Al agents profiled her, kept questioning her, and found it.

Posted by: m at December 21, 2015 05:17 PM (d4uu4)

162

498
This French account describes a man interviewed in connection with the incident, retired policeman who had aroused suspicions when he kept going to the bathroom.

TSA to start profiling middle-aged white guys and checking their prostates. Just to be sure.

Posted by: J.J. Sefton at December 21, 2015 05:17 PM (uRmWf)

163 Chelsea clinton is pregnant again???

Her husband must be a klutz to have slipped twice and fell into her

Posted by: Nevergiveup at December 21, 2015 05:17 PM (gf8BH)

164 those fees go up by landing weight.

Is the cost of emergency bathroom use offset by the sale of fresh undies?

Posted by: DaveA at December 21, 2015 05:18 PM (DL2i+)

165 Maybe the dude did this as a warning that it ain't hard to do.

Posted by: eman at December 21, 2015 05:19 PM (mR7Es)

166 Her husband must be a klutz to have slipped twice and fell into her

I told that bitch he'd better give me another baby to drag around on the campaign next year if he didn't want his body found in a public park.

Posted by: Hilary Clinton at December 21, 2015 05:19 PM (LYCUN)

167 Hey, can anybody here scream in Arabic? We've got a mystery on our hands.

Posted by: Les Polices at December 21, 2015 05:19 PM (w/iDp)

168 161 El Al agents profiled her, kept questioning her, and found it.
Posted by: m at December 21, 2015 05:17 PM (d4uu4)

El Al has not had an incident in well over 45 years. But we need an army of unionized burger flippers who don't know what they fuck they're doing, except when it comes to humiliating people and molesting children. THAT is what they're good at.

Posted by: J.J. Sefton at December 21, 2015 05:19 PM (uRmWf)

169 Chelsea clinton is pregnant again???

Her husband must be a klutz to have slipped twice and fell into her

Posted by: Nevergiveup at December 21, 2015 05:17 PM (gf8BH)

Web Hubbell ain't still doggin' around, is he?

Posted by: Snoodling World Champion 1997 at December 21, 2015 05:20 PM (k9qR4)

170 It's readily apparent that cutting the red wire would have rendered this apparatus inoperative. Unless the blue wire and the red wire were interchanged. Irregardless, I'll be wearing a bulletproof vest on future flights, despite the fact they provide no protection to the neck, head, or groin. I have no use for those areas.

Posted by: Neil deGrassy Tyson at December 21, 2015 05:20 PM (7v/r5)

171 157 145 How hard is it to place explosives in a laptop battery compartment?

Posted by: Make America Great Again at December 21, 2015 05:12 PM (LXJ1e)

Don't they make you turn on your laptop in security? So that wouldn't work if you have a fake battery. Also the last laptop I bought and the last one my sister bought did not have removable batteries.
Posted by: buzzion at December 21, 2015 05:16 PM (z/Ubi)

------------------

Buy a used one that does, and keep the explosive batteries as a spare in the backpack.

In fact, I think some older laptops have extra compartments to put in an extra battery. Should be simple enough to wire up the explosives as the secondary batteries, insert them into the computer in flight and have program do the countdown to send power to the explosives.

Posted by: Make America Great Again at December 21, 2015 05:20 PM (LXJ1e)

172 163 Chelsea clinton is pregnant again???

Her husband must be a klutz to have slipped twice and fell into her
Posted by: Nevergiveup at December 21, 2015 05:17 PM (gf8BH)

"What you mean 'wrong hole?' "

*punchline to old joke* Which is in fact what Chelsea Clinton is.

Posted by: J.J. Sefton at December 21, 2015 05:20 PM (uRmWf)

173 El Al 1986 flight, via wikipedia:

Another terrorist attack was foiled on 18 April 1986 in what became known as the Hindawi Affair. A pregnant Irishwoman named Anne-Marie Murphy was about to board an El Al flight at London's Heathrow airport when her bag was found to contain three pounds of plastic explosives. These had been planted by her fianc� Nezar Hindawi, who was booked on a different flight. Hindawi was jailed for 45 years, the longest sentence ever delivered by a British court.[100] There was evidence that Syrian officials were involved and as a result, Britain cut off diplomatic relations with Syria

Posted by: m at December 21, 2015 05:21 PM (d4uu4)

174 Bonus SF geek question:
The Tnuctipun blew up stars to break free of the Thrintun.
Name another star detonating species.

Posted by: DaveA at December 21, 2015 05:21 PM (DL2i+)

175 Of course when they say "retired policeman" we get a certain image - fat white guy who's eaten too many donuts - that may be very, very misleading in this case.

Posted by: despair at December 21, 2015 05:21 PM (VrdxH)

176 169 Chelsea clinton is pregnant again???

Her husband must be a klutz to have slipped twice and fell into her

Posted by: Nevergiveup at December 21, 2015 05:17 PM (gf8BH)

Web Hubbell ain't still doggin' around, is he?
Posted by: Snoodling World Champion 1997 at December 21, 2015 05:20 PM (k9qR4)

Come on dude, that's her Dad for crying out loud!

Posted by: Insomniac - Pale Horse/Death 2016 at December 21, 2015 05:21 PM (kpqmD)

177
Alinsky, Mezvinsky
Mezvinsky, Alinsky
Let's call the whole thing off . . .

Posted by: J.J. Sefton at December 21, 2015 05:21 PM (uRmWf)

178 Her husband must be a klutz to have slipped twice and fell into her
Posted by: Nevergiveup at December 21, 2015 05:17 PM (gf8BH)

Oh, come on. Imagine her hair splayed over the pillow in the moonlight, her hands desperately clawing at your back, and the welcoming face of Webb Hubbell looking up and imploring you for more, more, more...

Posted by: Just Some Guy at December 21, 2015 05:22 PM (vgIRn)

179 What you mean 'wrong hole?' "

*punchline to old joke* Which is in fact what Chelsea Clinton is.
Posted by: J.J. Sefton at December 21, 2015 05:20 PM (uRmWf)

Nah. She's doesn't have enough personality to be a joke.

Posted by: buzzion at December 21, 2015 05:22 PM (z/Ubi)

180 176
Come on dude, that's her Dad for crying out loud!
Posted by: Insomniac - Pale Horse/Death 2016 at December 21, 2015 05:21 PM (kpqmD)

I'd insert an Arkansas joke but that would be unfair.

Posted by: J.J. Sefton at December 21, 2015 05:22 PM (uRmWf)

181 In fact, I think some older laptops have extra compartments to put in an extra battery. Should be simple enough to wire up the explosives as the secondary batteries, insert them into the computer in flight and have program do the countdown to send power to the explosives.

Wow, you should put this in a book or something. Make sure there's an Arabic edition.

Posted by: Cicero (@cicero) at December 21, 2015 05:22 PM (8ZskC)

182 Mauritius? Isn't he the boyfriend of the ho that Oldsmobiled the sidewalks at the strip?

Posted by: the littl shyning man at December 21, 2015 05:23 PM (U6f54)

183
The prostate takes a licking and the bathroom is ticking.

I think that is how the commercial went.

Posted by: Guy Mohawk at December 21, 2015 05:23 PM (ODxAs)

184 179 Nah. She's doesn't have enough personality to be a joke.
Posted by: buzzion at December 21, 2015 05:22 PM (z/Ubi)

My comment is pregnant with subtext. Maybe I'm a bit too subtle.

Posted by: J.J. Sefton at December 21, 2015 05:23 PM (uRmWf)

185 161 >>>Also remembering here the dimwitted Irish chick who after being knocked up by her Palescummian "boyfriend" was talked by him into boarding an airline flight carrying a package to bring to him, said package unbeknownst to her containing a bomb.

Posted by: torquewrench at December 21, 2015 05:00 PM (noWW6)

I think that was hidden in a compartment of her luggage and that she did not know it was there. El Al agents profiled her, kept questioning her, and found it.
Posted by: m at December 21, 2015 05:17 PM (d4uu4)

------------

So the profile was "you married to a Palestinian?"

I mean if she didn't really know there was a bomb AND her story on visiting was on the up and up. How did profiling work in this case?

Posted by: Make America Great Again at December 21, 2015 05:23 PM (LXJ1e)

186 182 Mauritius? Isn't he the boyfriend of the ho that Oldsmobiled the sidewalks at the strip?
Posted by: the littl shyning man at December 21, 2015 05:23 PM (U6f54)

Mauritius is the Pompatous of Love . . .

Posted by: J.J. Sefton at December 21, 2015 05:24 PM (uRmWf)

187 Upon examining the airplane clock, it's clear that the reason it looks so scary is only due to the electrical tape. Therefore, all electrical tape should be banned from flights. There is no reason anyone needs electrical tape on a flight (though it can come in handy on Malaysian Air flights when electrical systems are failing left and right ... but that's another story) and just possessing some electrical tape is clear evidence of the desire to terrorize.

In fact, we should have background checks for all purchases of electrical tape to ward off this dangerous threat all over our society.

"If clear scotch tape can't do the job ... you're probably up to no good!" -- Barky and his DHS goons

Posted by: ThePrimordialOrderedPair at December 21, 2015 05:24 PM (zc3Db)

188 Of course when they say "retired policeman" we get a certain image - fat white guy who's eaten too many donuts - that may be very, very misleading in this case.
Posted by: despair at December 21, 2015 05:21 PM (VrdxH)

---------------------

First off, is this retired French policeman blanc? They do have diversity in their police forces too.

Posted by: Soona at December 21, 2015 05:24 PM (Fmupd)

189 Mauritus likes to be called Maurice.

Posted by: Anna Puma at December 21, 2015 05:24 PM (nGyiN)

190 guy with the explosive missed his connecting flight.

Posted by: Bigby's Knuckle Sandwich at December 21, 2015 05:25 PM (F+xWX)

191 181 In fact, I think some older laptops have extra compartments to put in an extra battery. Should be simple enough to wire up the explosives as the secondary batteries, insert them into the computer in flight and have program do the countdown to send power to the explosives.

Wow, you should put this in a book or something. Make sure there's an Arabic edition.
Posted by: Cicero (@cicero) at December 21, 2015 05:22 PM (8ZskC)

----------------

Just a makers faire invention officer.

Posted by: Make America Great Again at December 21, 2015 05:25 PM (LXJ1e)

192 The TSA is a step below the DMV. My husband just flew through Phoenix, he landed late, but his connection was late as well. The departure time had passed. There was a group of 10 guys that went through customs. 2 of them made it through TSA with old tickets. The rest had to get new tickets and missed the flight. They also took his tequila.

Posted by: CaliGirl at December 21, 2015 05:25 PM (BHl9S)

193 In fact, I think some older laptops have extra compartments to put in an extra battery. Should be simple enough to wire up the explosives as the secondary batteries, insert them into the computer in flight and have program do the countdown to send power to the explosives.

Posted by: Make America Great Again at December 21, 2015 05:20 PM (LXJ1e)

...Even some newer laptops. Also, I've never been made to turn my laptop on during inspection.

That being said, theoretically, those highly trained brilliant TSA x-ray machine watchers should be able to tell the difference between battery cells and plastic explosives, but uh... yeah.

Don't give the TSA any ideas on what to ban next

Posted by: Harry Paratestes at December 21, 2015 05:25 PM (AkOaV)

194 Mauritus likes to be called Maurice.

Posted by: Anna Puma at December 21, 2015 05:24 PM (nGyiN)

The Gangster of Love?

Posted by: ThePrimordialOrderedPair at December 21, 2015 05:26 PM (zc3Db)

195 Okay, somebody ref'd one of my favorite movies, Dark Star. Here's the sequence where the astronaut tries to talk the bomb down using Cartesian logic:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h73PsFKtIck

Posted by: All Hail Eris, Literate Savage at December 21, 2015 05:27 PM (jR7Wy)

196 Is that a clock or a thermostat?

Perhaps his plan was to make it uncomfortably hot on the flight?

Posted by: Garrett at December 21, 2015 05:27 PM (bcdMv)

197 192 They also took his tequila.
Posted by: CaliGirl at December 21, 2015 05:25 PM (BHl9S)

I've had experiences with Central American policemen that were more above board than the TSA.

Paging Mr. Trump: another talking point to blast away on and further cement your lead.

(abolition of TSA)

Posted by: J.J. Sefton at December 21, 2015 05:27 PM (uRmWf)

198 194 Mauritus likes to be called Maurice.

Posted by: Anna Puma at December 21, 2015 05:24 PM (nGyiN)

The Gangster of Love?
Posted by: ThePrimordialOrderedPair at December 21, 2015 05:26 PM (zc3Db)

That's what some people call him.

Posted by: Insomniac - Pale Horse/Death 2016 at December 21, 2015 05:27 PM (kpqmD)

199 The text of the Obama administrations Trans Pacific Partnership (TPP) trade deal between the United States and 11 other countries reverses policies that were originally put into place to prevent a foreign takeover of the nations infrastructure, argues political consultant Curtis Ellis, who adds that the deal threatens U.S. national security interests.

Breitbart

Great deal there Ryan....CUE THE SHILL

Posted by: Nevergiveup at December 21, 2015 05:27 PM (gf8BH)

200 Make America great, I guarantee they profile behavior as well. She lied.

Posted by: CaliGirl at December 21, 2015 05:27 PM (BHl9S)

201 194 The Gangster of Love?
Posted by: ThePrimordialOrderedPair at December 21, 2015 05:26 PM (zc3Db)

Pompatous of Love, although the Gangster of Love was a lyric from Steve Miller's earlier tune "Space Cowboy."

Posted by: J.J. Sefton at December 21, 2015 05:28 PM (uRmWf)

202 Pompatous of Love, although the Gangster of Love was a lyric from Steve Miller's earlier tune "Space Cowboy."

Posted by: J.J. Sefton at December 21, 2015 05:28 PM (uRmWf)

I believe it was "Space Clockboy".

Posted by: ThePrimordialOrderedPair at December 21, 2015 05:29 PM (zc3Db)

203 JJ, He was pissed, he knew they wanted to drink it. Don Julio.

Posted by: CaliGirl at December 21, 2015 05:29 PM (BHl9S)

204 Merovign, wasn't there an RPG where the bomb would announce itself as a bomb?

Sorta both. Killer is the usual. "I am a five second bomb..."

I always wanted to do one with this countdown: "I am a five second bomb...I am a four second bomb...I am a lying SOB. BOOM."

Some people, no sense of humor.

Posted by: Brother Cavil, down with Eph 6:12-13 at December 21, 2015 05:29 PM (9krrF)

205 Great deal there Ryan....CUE THE SHILL

Posted by: Nevergiveup at December 21, 2015 05:27 PM (gf8BH)
================================================

Speaking of which, I got his family Christmas card today. Cute kids. The dog is adorable. No facial hair was in sight. I mean on Ryan. The dog had oodles of facial hair.

Posted by: grammie winger, O Come Emmanuel at December 21, 2015 05:30 PM (dFi94)

206 Steve Miller is awful.

Posted by: Garrett at December 21, 2015 05:30 PM (bcdMv)

207 So does All Hail Eris desire a space cat-suit?

Posted by: Anna Puma at December 21, 2015 05:31 PM (nGyiN)

208 Speaking of which, I got his family Christmas card today. Cute kids. The dog is adorable. No facial hair was in sight. I mean on Ryan. The dog had oodles of facial hair.

Nice. But that card probably cost you $500.

Posted by: Cicero (@cicero) at December 21, 2015 05:31 PM (8ZskC)

209 >>>I mean if she didn't really know there was a bomb AND her story on visiting was on the up and up. How did profiling work in this case?

That's what was fascinating about the incident at the time: her story was just not adding up, to the interrogators. They were profiling her, correctly, as some combination of young and pregnant and naive and too trusting--I should quit guessing, but you get the idea.

Posted by: m at December 21, 2015 05:32 PM (d4uu4)

210 184 179 Nah. She's doesn't have enough personality to be a joke.
Posted by: buzzion at December 21, 2015 05:22 PM (z/Ubi)

My comment is pregnant with subtext. Maybe I'm a bit too subtle.
Posted by: J.J. Sefton at December 21, 2015 05:23 PM (uRmWf)

My comment is direct that Chelsea Clinton is a boring uninteresting person with zero personality. I'm not one for subtlety

Posted by: buzzion at December 21, 2015 05:32 PM (z/Ubi)

211 Steve Miller is awful.

Greatst lyricist since Norm Crosby.

Posted by: Cicero (@cicero) at December 21, 2015 05:32 PM (8ZskC)

212 207 So does All Hail Eris desire a space cat-suit?
Posted by: Anna Puma at December 21, 2015 05:31 PM (nGyiN)
---
Still eBaying selections from your closet, Anna?

How much we talking?

Posted by: All Hail Eris, Literate Savage at December 21, 2015 05:32 PM (jR7Wy)

213 Nice. But that card probably cost you $500.

Posted by: Cicero (@cicero) at December 21, 2015 05:31 PM (8ZskC)
==================================================

I'd rather have the 500 bucks. Okay, maybe I would pay 2 or 3 dollars for the pics of the dog. But other than that ....

Posted by: grammie winger, O Come Emmanuel at December 21, 2015 05:33 PM (dFi94)

214 211 Steve Miller is awful.

Greatst lyricist since Norm Crosby.
Posted by: Cicero (@cicero) at December 21, 2015 05:32 PM (8ZskC)

You don't listen to Miller for the lyrics. You listen for the guitar. Sheesh.

Posted by: J.J. Sefton at December 21, 2015 05:33 PM (uRmWf)

215 They have to dump most of the fuel before landing, so that's where a lot of the cost came from.

Posted by: AshevilleRobert at December 21, 2015 05:33 PM (9ltS8)

216 Next time you're stunned by large Moon on horizon, bend over and view it between your legs. The effect goes away entirely.

Posted by: Neil deGrassy Tyson at December 21, 2015 05:34 PM (7v/r5)

217 Let's see here:

1. Tape . . . $1.59.

2. Digital clock . . . $6.99.

3. Four unopened packages of saltine crackers . . . $4.99.

4. Spending the rest of my short remaining years behind bars . . . PRICELESS!!!!

Posted by: Mysterious Frequent Pisser, Er, Flyer at December 21, 2015 05:34 PM (QWtgr)

218 None of this will end well.

Posted by: Soona at December 21, 2015 05:35 PM (Fmupd)

219 214 211 Steve Miller is awful.

Greatst lyricist since Norm Crosby.
Posted by: Cicero (@cicero) at December 21, 2015 05:32 PM (8ZskC)

You don't listen to Miller for the lyrics. You listen for the guitar. Sheesh.

Posted by: J.J. Sefton at December 21, 2015 05:33 PM (uRmWf)

He really loved your peaches. Wanted to shake your tree.

Posted by: Insomniac - Pale Horse/Death 2016 at December 21, 2015 05:35 PM (kpqmD)

220 I thought you already had a space suit
http://www.e2046.com/product/Eris/13644/

Posted by: Anna Puma at December 21, 2015 05:35 PM (nGyiN)

221 203 JJ, He was pissed, he knew they wanted to drink it. Don Julio.
Posted by: CaliGirl at December 21, 2015 05:29 PM (BHl9S)

And you cannot say a word because if the don't slap cuffs on you, they'll make your life hell before allowing you to board a plane.

I hate generalizing about people, but the TSA as an organization does, as all Federal agencies do, not one bit of good and a shit-ton of harm.

That Leviathan needs to be eviscerated.

Posted by: J.J. Sefton at December 21, 2015 05:35 PM (uRmWf)

222 Until civilized people put an end to this evil, it will be unsafe to fly. And that's what islam wants. No flying. Except of course if you're flying on a buraq. That's ok.

Posted by: Eromero at December 21, 2015 05:36 PM (b+df9)

223 >>>200 Make America great, I guarantee they profile behavior as well. She lied.
Posted by: CaliGirl at December 21, 2015 05:27 PM (BHl9S)

This was way back there before suicide bombers were a household term. My recollection is that she had no idea there was a bomb. (Wikipedia summary at 173.)

Posted by: m at December 21, 2015 05:36 PM (d4uu4)

224 220 I thought you already had a space suit
http://www.e2046.com/product/Eris/13644/
Posted by: Anna Puma at December 21, 2015 05:35 PM (nGyiN)
---
Dwarf planets indeed!

Posted by: All Hail Eris, Literate Savage at December 21, 2015 05:36 PM (jR7Wy)

225 Clock guy to Stevie Miller, were else can you go for this free entertainment

Posted by: Skip at December 21, 2015 05:38 PM (k0xxN)

226 I'm calling Maet. Some of you are pitching for a Yoko Ono ONT.

Posted by: Soona at December 21, 2015 05:38 PM (Fmupd)

227 219 He really loved your peaches. Wanted to shake your tree.
Posted by: Insomniac - Pale Horse/Death 2016 at December 21, 2015 05:35 PM (kpqmD)

Bonk bonk on the head, Mr. Lovey Dovey!

Oops, wrong reference.

Posted by: J.J. Sefton at December 21, 2015 05:38 PM (uRmWf)

228 And from one of Hat's favorite anime shows...

http://www.e2046.com/product/23721

No dwarf planets here.

Posted by: Anna Puma at December 21, 2015 05:40 PM (nGyiN)

229 Secretary of State John Kerry is working to reassure Iranian leaders that recent congressional efforts to tighten counter-terrorism measures will not harm Iranian interests, according to a letter sent by Kerry to Irans foreign minister.

The assurances come following efforts by Congress to tighten restrictions in the visa waiver program, which they claim has gaping loopholes that may enable suspected terrorists to legally enter the United States with few background checks.

Iranian leaders expressed anger over the move in recent days, prompting senior Obama administration officials to convey their own concerns to lawmakers.

Kerry wrote to Iranian Foreign Minister Javad Zarif late last week, promising that the Obama administration could veto these new counter-terrorism laws in order ensure Iran is not negatively impacted.

7 Days in May

Who the fuck do these cock suckers think they are?
Hey I have an idea let's pass a budget and give them everything they want

Thanks RINOs and SHILLs

Posted by: Nevergiveup at December 21, 2015 05:40 PM (gf8BH)

230 I wonder how many fake bombs have never been found because they didn't use a ticker? This one wanted to be found.

Posted by: t-bird at December 21, 2015 05:40 PM (w/iDp)

231 SF answer:

The Batrachia stopped the Vang.
https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/1257783.The_Vang

Posted by: DaveA at December 21, 2015 05:40 PM (DL2i+)

232 Piker.

Posted by: Clock-med at December 21, 2015 05:41 PM (48QDY)

233 *goes searching for the Tar-Aiym-Krang*

Posted by: Anna Puma at December 21, 2015 05:41 PM (nGyiN)

234 UN chief condemns rocket fire on northern Israel

UN Secretary-General Ban Ki-moon notes that rocket fire on northern Israel was a violation of resolution that ended Second Lebanon War.

hey that's mighty white of you

Posted by: Nevergiveup at December 21, 2015 05:41 PM (gf8BH)

235 >>The evacuation was costly partly because the emergency air-chutes had been used in the evacuation. I guess those cost a lot of money to replace.

If no one has mentioned it yet. Minimum 25K per slide.

Posted by: Aviator at December 21, 2015 05:42 PM (c7vUv)

236 To any male person reading this post. If you have a wife, a mother, a significant other or anyone else that will kill you if you don't give them a Christmas present - your time is running out.

This has been a not so subtle public service announcement. Go. Shop. Wrap.

Posted by: grammie winger, O Come Emmanuel at December 21, 2015 05:42 PM (dFi94)

237 Thanks RINOs and SHILLs
Posted by: Nevergiveup at December 21, 2015 05:40 PM (gf8BH)

Well. Fcuk Thom Tillis in particular.

Posted by: Golfman at December 21, 2015 05:43 PM (48QDY)

238 A tribute to the always funny Leslie Neilson:

Rumack: Captain, how soon can you land?
Captain Oveur: I can't tell.
Rumack: You can tell me. I'm a doctor.
Captain Oveur: No. I mean I'm just not sure.
Rumack: Well, can't you take a guess?
Captain Oveur: Well, not for another two hours.
Rumack: You can't take a guess for another two hours?

Posted by: Cheri at December 21, 2015 05:44 PM (oiNtH)

239 236 To any male person reading this post. If you have a wife, a mother, a significant other or anyone else that will kill you if you don't give them a Christmas present - your time is running out.

I ain't got nobody
Nobody cares for me
Nobody, nobody cares for me
I'm so sad and lonely
Sad and lonely
Won't some sweet mamma come and take a chance with me
Cause I ain't so bad.

Posted by: Insomniac - Pale Horse/Death 2016 at December 21, 2015 05:45 PM (kpqmD)

240 They can rename the lavatory as the Hillary Clinton memorial crapper.

So for a two hour debate she can't wait?

Posted by: Cheri at December 21, 2015 05:46 PM (oiNtH)

241 m
Those guys rock then. I would feel so much safer if I were flying only on el al.

Posted by: CaliGirl at December 21, 2015 05:46 PM (BHl9S)

242 I hate generalizing about people, but the TSA as an organization does, as all Federal agencies do, not one bit of good and a shit-ton of harm.

That Leviathan needs to be eviscerated.
Posted by: J.J. Sefton at December 21, 2015 05:35 PM (uRmWf)

Thanks GWB.

He is a good hearted soul but some of the shit we ended up with...

Posted by: Golfman at December 21, 2015 05:46 PM (48QDY)

243 nood Miss Universe

Posted by: m at December 21, 2015 05:46 PM (d4uu4)

244 Finally put my wife's first present under the tree. So there's that.

Posted by: Guy Mohawk at December 21, 2015 05:48 PM (ODxAs)

245 228 And from one of Hat's favorite anime shows...

http://www.e2046.com/product/23721

No dwarf planets here.
Posted by: Anna Puma at December 21, 2015 05:40 PM (nGyiN)

Teacher, I've been a very naughty schoolboy and need you to punish me.

Posted by: Insomniac - Pale Horse/Death 2016 at December 21, 2015 05:48 PM (kpqmD)

246
236 To any male person reading this post. If you have a wife, a mother, a significant other or anyone else that will kill you if you don't give them a Christmas present - your time is running out.

This has been a not so subtle public service announcement. Go. Shop. Wrap.
Posted by: grammie winger, O Come Emmanuel at December 21, 2015 05:42 PM (dFi94)

Vacuum cleaners are always in stock at wal mart.

Posted by: Buzzion at December 21, 2015 05:48 PM (z/Ubi)

247 For any of you 'rons who are wondering what the hell to get for your gal - don't forget, spa day certificates are easy and I haven't met a woman yet who doesn't like to be Queen for a day.

Posted by: Cheri at December 21, 2015 05:48 PM (oiNtH)

248 I ain't got nobody

Nobody cares for me

Nobody, nobody cares for me

Posted by: Insomniac - Pale Horse/Death 2016 at December 21, 2015 05:45 PM (kpqmD)
=================================================

Now that is just plain out flat wrong. You are cared for. Never forget that.

Posted by: grammie winger, O Come Emmanuel at December 21, 2015 05:48 PM (dFi94)

249 your time is running out.

A number of men said they liked to shop on Christmas Eve Day so they still have plenty of time. ;^)

Posted by: FenelonSpoke at December 21, 2015 05:49 PM (qES5k)

250 Vacuum cleaners are always in stock at wal mart.

Posted by: Buzzion at December 21, 2015 05:48 PM (z/Ubi)
==========================================

They make excellent tools to crack somebody over the head with.

Posted by: grammie winger, O Come Emmanuel at December 21, 2015 05:49 PM (dFi94)

251 A number of men said they liked to shop on Christmas Eve Day so they still have plenty of time. ;^)

Posted by: FenelonSpoke at December 21, 2015 05:49 PM (qES5k)
======================================

I know!! What is wrong with men ?? By Christmas Eve, you get whatever is left that nobody else wanted! In the wrong size!

Posted by: grammie winger, O Come Emmanuel at December 21, 2015 05:50 PM (dFi94)

252 I ain't got nobody

Nobody cares for me

Nobody, nobody cares for me

Wrong.

What about the several under twenty who share your genes? And there are a lot of people here. I posted a video today. I don't know if you saw it but some of the words were "Don't you ever give into all the darkness around you" (or for that mater the darkness inside you).

Posted by: FenelonSpoke at December 21, 2015 05:52 PM (qES5k)

253
247 For any of you 'rons who are wondering what the hell to get for your gal - don't forget, spa day certificates are easy and I haven't met a woman yet who doesn't like to be Queen for a day.
Posted by: Cheri at December 21, 2015 05:48 PM (oiNtH)

And some men too probably.

Posted by: Buzzion at December 21, 2015 05:53 PM (z/Ubi)

254 FYI: Muslims invented night flight, as evidenced by
Mohammed's one-night journey covering the 766 miles from Mecca to Jerusalem, a distance equivalent to the US/Mexican border. No Gabriel to bring us a vessel of wine and a vessel of milk after that journey.

Posted by: Neil deGrassy Tyson at December 21, 2015 05:53 PM (7v/r5)

255 Now that is just plain out flat wrong. You are cared for. Never forget that.

That's sweet of you Grammie. They're song lyrics from a tune performed by Louis Prima and later covered by David Lee Roth. Catchy tune.

Posted by: Insomniac - Pale Horse/Death 2016 at December 21, 2015 05:56 PM (kpqmD)

256 Or the passenger who smuggled the plastique in his ass didn't get his
chance to contribute to the device because of the old guy who kept
needing to piss.

Posted by: Methos

Thanks God for oldish guys with enlarged prostates.

Posted by: redbanzai at December 21, 2015 05:59 PM (OrI3J)

257 Posted by: grammie winger, O Come Emmanuel at December 21, 2015 05:50 PM (dFi94)

I don't think FSpouse and I are giving each other anything. Spouse said, "I want a piece of paper"
What?!! No, it's some kind of artistic paper related to painting that it costs $?60.00 if you get one piece shipped. The only really good art supply store around here went out of business. I think it's going to be chocolate for the Spouse too-who likes chocolate- if I can drag myself to the store before Christmas. And I got my Christmas present. They prepared the bulletin for the Christmas service, dragged the heavy sign outside to put up, and didn't complain when I spent an hour afterwards talking to people afterwards.

Posted by: FenelonSpoke at December 21, 2015 06:00 PM (qES5k)

258 *sulks back into bomb-bay*

Posted by: Bomb Nine at December 21, 2015 05:00 PM (DL2i+)

AoSHQ: Come for the terrorism stories, stay for the obscure movie references. Well done!

Posted by: Sharkman at December 21, 2015 06:01 PM (QWtgr)

259 Catchy tune.

Hey;;We note that you didn't post the lyrics of (Katrina and the wave(?) "I'm walking on sunshine". We weren't born yesterday-but you knew that. ;^)

Posted by: FenelonSpoke at December 21, 2015 06:05 PM (qES5k)

260 Hey! Don't forget about me!

Now, for some poetry . . .

Posted by: Prostetnic Vogon Jeltz at December 21, 2015 06:09 PM (QWtgr)

261

This thing was definitely an Air France deal--eg revengeful employee who formerly fcuked goats in the ME or something. ....you know..... a good Baptist.

Posted by: Lower Class person whose opinions need to be guided at December 21, 2015 06:10 PM (3ZttN)

262 Wait.

They let everyone else on the plane go?

Because anyone who carried a bomb timer onto a plane can be reliably assumed to have traveled under their own name with legitimate proofs of identity.

And they will certainly stay in the area for convenience of the authorities should any questions arise.

No need to question everyone, just the guy with the enlarged prostate.

On the plus side its good to know we are finally profiling aging dudes on the basis of their suspicious behavior. Because every competent terrorist will be sure to draw attention to themselves as part of the mission.

If you found a ticking half-bomb in a bathroom would you not look for the 20-something male who went in there exaclty once?

Posted by: TexasDan at December 21, 2015 06:15 PM (QVfCp)

263 After careful study in the comfort of my own home I have come to the conclusion that I have never see explosives packages as the brown rectangular boxes, therefore this does not even rise to the level of being a fake bomb, it is just a clock taped to some boxes.

Posted by: Burnt Toast at December 21, 2015 06:17 PM (T78UI)

264 If you see something, say something. Just don't see anything.

Posted by: Barky Ofailure at December 21, 2015 06:24 PM (BfPSD)

265 Merovign, wasn't there an RPG where the bomb would announce itself as a bomb? Or am I thinking of a movie?

Thats the start of Starship Troopers IIRC.

Posted by: TexasDan at December 21, 2015 06:32 PM (QVfCp)

266 264 If you see something, say something. Just don't see anything.

If her name is Tashfeen, don't report what you've seen.

Posted by: Splunge at December 21, 2015 07:07 PM (iMxBJ)

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