Talk Like Trump Thread

If you follow Trump on Twitter, you see he has a specific style of messaging. The formula is Brief Opening Thought, Vague Elaboration, and then a Brief Summary With an Exclamation Point!

Like he'll go (I'm making this up, but this is the pattern):

Immigration policy is a disaster. A real shambles. People ought to be ashamed. Build the wall!

Anyway, I noticed that and started doing a Trump impression on Twitter.

I thought maybe you guys would want to try, because it's kind of fun.

Here are some Trumpian thoughts to get you started:

Bill DeBlasio. Face like a firetruck. Probably not nice to his kids. Bad mayor!

...

Marco Rubio. Nice guy. A little too nice. Not so nice with his credit cards. Slick bandit!

...

Casino business. Tough business. I don't have to tell Chris Christie. I made a lot of money, to be honest. Always split 8s!

...

Darth Vader. Nice guy, loved his son. Controversial guy. Tough guy, maybe too tough. Got things done. Ted Cruz is a foreigner!

...

Robin Williams, terrible shame. Clown who cried inside. Saw him on Mork, used to sit on his head. Hairier than a yak!

...

Refractory period. Some guys need longer to "go" again. Like Jeb Bush. Probably takes three weeks. Not me. I'm bing-bing-bing. Once had Tanya Roberts!

...

Adele's new album. People say it's good. In all fairness, she's a little heavy. But that's fine, some people like that. Like Jeb Bush!

...

Channing Tatum. I don't know who this is. I hear the name. Can't tell you who he is. Gays seem to like him. And that's ok. I like cupcakes!

...

Anyway, try some Trumpkus if you like. Or open thread. I'll put another thread up, like with real content, up soon, but keep coming back to this one. I'm going to post more. I like this joke.

Posted by: Ace at 04:51 PM

Comments

(Jump to bottom of comments)

1 I was a wee bit early. Posted one in the last thread.

Posted by: Dack Thrombosis at November 20, 2015 04:58 PM (4ErVI)

2 Poke poke...

Posted by: Pixy and the Hamsters at November 20, 2015 04:59 PM (2yngH)

3 False alarm. Back to sleep...

Posted by: Pixy and the Hamsters at November 20, 2015 04:59 PM (2yngH)

4 I watched his Wednesday presser on YouTube.

Never apologizes, relentlessly on message, all facts at his disposal, and owns the room Like. A. Boss.

That's how you treat the chattering class.

Ever since that, well, whatever it was that happened in Iowa, he's been at the very top of his game. He's getting better by the week.

Posted by: WhatWhatWhat? at November 20, 2015 05:00 PM (HMt16)

5 Adele's album dropped today. She's a tremendous talent. The weight is a problem, ok? It makes her look like a loser. Like Chris Christie!

Posted by: Dack Thrombosis at November 20, 2015 05:01 PM (4ErVI)

6

do we have to count the characters here,
because, it's too late

Posted by: artisanal 'ette: TGIF! at November 20, 2015 05:01 PM (qCMvj)

7 Thanksgiving. There's turkey, there's some stuffing. There's cranberry sauce and what have you. Big Meal!

Posted by: Not Real Donald Trump at November 20, 2015 05:01 PM (dciA+)

8 That's freaking hilarious.

I'll wait for some on to come with an app that generates is automatically after inputting three things.
Like the Porn Star Name Generator....

Posted by: Emperor C at November 20, 2015 05:01 PM (jpW6t)

9 This Ace guy. People say he's really hairy. I think he's funny. Good Ewok!

Posted by: @votermom at November 20, 2015 05:02 PM (cbfNE)

10 Nightranger. What happened to Nightranger. Sister Christian. Big song. Made lots of money. I played golf with Ricky Martin!

Posted by: Not Real Donald Trump at November 20, 2015 05:02 PM (dciA+)

11 6

do we have to count the characters here,
because, it's too late

Very Haiku - like these trump tweets are...

Posted by: Emperor C at November 20, 2015 05:02 PM (jpW6t)

12 I like families. I like my family. I have a tremendous family. They're all winners!

Posted by: Dack Thrombosis at November 20, 2015 05:02 PM (4ErVI)

13 Bernie Sanders. Long time in Congress. Complains about things like he had nothing to do with it. Psycho commie leftard!

Posted by: BackwardsBoy at November 20, 2015 05:02 PM (LUgeY)

14 Hilarious!

Posted by: Whitney at November 20, 2015 05:02 PM (aF1ln)

15 This Ace guy. Never up before 11. On Twitter 'til 4 AM. How can you work like that? He should ban himself!

Posted by: Pappy O'Daniel at November 20, 2015 05:03 PM (oVJmc)

16 Barack Obama. Leads from behind. Weakest president ever. That jug-eared Fuck!

Posted by: Valiant at November 20, 2015 05:03 PM (2bqlb)

17 Diarrhea. Some people think it's funny. It's really loose and smelly. Diarrhea !

Posted by: Bigby's Fistful of Dice at November 20, 2015 05:03 PM (wKmat)

18 They were funny Ace. thanks.

-----------------------------------------------

Thanksgiving. Nice holiday. Some people eat too way much. Like Jeb Bush, although in fairness I think he's lost some weight recently. He's not as funny looking as he used to be.

Posted by: FenelonSpoke at November 20, 2015 05:04 PM (No/ki)

19 Devo. Never got them, ok? They went out there with the black clothing and the funny little hats. They had whips or whatever. No staying power!

Posted by: Dack Thrombosis at November 20, 2015 05:04 PM (4ErVI)

20 Barack Obama. Nice guy-- what do you think? I don't think he's so nice. Let people die in Benghazi. Secret Muslim!

Posted by: Not Real Donald Trump at November 20, 2015 05:04 PM (dciA+)

21 Charlie Sheen. Great guy. Troubled though. Had sex with him. Lost 40 lbs!

Posted by: Herr Morgenholz at November 20, 2015 05:05 PM (EUMr7)

22 This Book Horde site. Never heard of it. But they like my book. It's a fabulous book!

Posted by: @votermom at November 20, 2015 05:05 PM (cbfNE)

23 Too funny! Perfect for a Friday afternoon.

Posted by: IC at November 20, 2015 05:05 PM (a0IVu)

24 Hillary Clinton. Kind of a bitch. Had sex with her. Huma on top. Anthony took pics!

Posted by: Herr Morgenholz at November 20, 2015 05:06 PM (EUMr7)

25 Barack Obama. Ears like a jug. I didn't know jugs had ears! What a fucking asshole!

Posted by: Dang at November 20, 2015 05:06 PM (2oWD2)

26 Melania. Very classy. Luxurious. Like my buildings!

Posted by: johnd01 at November 20, 2015 05:06 PM (ukNFU)

27

Adele's not streaming. I like Adele. Adele can suck it!

Posted by: artisanal 'ette: TGIF! at November 20, 2015 05:06 PM (qCMvj)

28 Like the Porn Star Name Generator....

Porn Star Names: Fun game. Names not always great but mine is. Mercy Desoto!

OK, I suck at these, but I only have a few minutes left till weekend...

Posted by: Lea at November 20, 2015 05:06 PM (lIU4e)

29 I'll hang up and listen.

Posted by: Grump928(c) at November 20, 2015 05:07 PM (evdj2)

30 Princeton says it will consider changing the name of the Woodrow Wilson School, which would be shocking if they actually follow through. I question if they even can follow through, because the name was undoubtedly attached as part of an endowment agreement and as the university recently learned (in the Robertson case), its hard to change endowment deals after the fact.

But I have a proposal! Republicans should propose America erase all references to Wilson in our history. Jackson too, while we are at it. And Byrd! Lets get rid of all references to the foul Grand Kleagle.

Democrats should have to answer one by fucking one: are you supporting the GOP idea or are you a racist?

Posted by: MTF at November 20, 2015 05:07 PM (TxJGV)

31 Obama. Terrible president. I built a great company. Had sex with him. Tasted like dog!

Posted by: Herr Morgenholz at November 20, 2015 05:07 PM (EUMr7)

32 College Activism: I don't see their point. really. What's their point? All this because Cockroach got expelled? That doesn't sound right...
But, this College stuff, It's a Different World...
I'l tell you what I would do.
I'd fuck the shit out of a young Lisa Bonet!

Posted by: Trumpism at November 20, 2015 05:07 PM (DxKQL)

33 LauraW. Grooms Ace well, considering. Nice hump for a girl!

Posted by: BackwardsBoy at November 20, 2015 05:08 PM (LUgeY)

34 Really though if you're a comedian you're going to vote for Trump. The comedy potential is just tremendous.

Posted by: Dack Thrombosis at November 20, 2015 05:08 PM (4ErVI)

35 Rip Tide. Great show. With a robot. Let's Rip It!

Posted by: Grump928(c) at November 20, 2015 05:08 PM (evdj2)

36 Ivana. Great lady. Still love her. Had sex with her. She has all my shit!

Posted by: Herr Morgenholz at November 20, 2015 05:09 PM (EUMr7)

37 Jeb Bush. Lost weight. Used to be heavy, now not so much. Takes discipline to lose weight. Or amphetamines!

Posted by: Not Real Donald Trump at November 20, 2015 05:09 PM (dciA+)

38 Divorce. Painful thing. Still have sex though. Worth it!

Posted by: Herr Morgenholz at November 20, 2015 05:09 PM (EUMr7)

39 Purity tests. Seems like a no-win situation. But these squishy fence-sitting Republicans will come around to my way of thinking. It's going to be tremendous!

Posted by: Fritz at November 20, 2015 05:09 PM (3tjn4)

40 But I have a proposal! Republicans should propose America erase all
references to Wilson in our history. Jackson too, while we are at it.
And Byrd! Lets get rid of all references to the foul Grand Kleagle.

And FDR.

Posted by: Pappy O'Daniel at November 20, 2015 05:09 PM (oVJmc)

41 Yes! It's Haiku by Trump. Trumpku.
It's Art, I tells ya.
The martial art version is Trump Fu.

Posted by: AMartel at November 20, 2015 05:10 PM (WWgnZ)

42 Its like a haiku for assholes

Posted by: Jason at November 20, 2015 05:10 PM (8hctH)

43 Charlie Sheen. Great guy. Troubled though. Had sex with him. Lost 40 lbs!

...

hahaha

Posted by: Not Real Donald Trump at November 20, 2015 05:10 PM (dciA+)

44 And FDR.

Indeed. The Great Interner shouldn't be spared.

Posted by: Grump928(c) at November 20, 2015 05:10 PM (evdj2)

45 Trumpisms. Mirror into the posters soul. Had sex with that poster. Socks dirty!

Posted by: Herr Morgenholz at November 20, 2015 05:10 PM (EUMr7)

46

Sipping some scotch. Alcohol can be dangerous (and silly). Why do Scottish men wear skirts?!

Posted by: artisanal 'ette: TGIF! at November 20, 2015 05:10 PM (qCMvj)

47

OT

that American boy who was killed in Israel. He was delivering food to soldiers on patrol. A close friends daughter rooms with his sister. They are heart broken. Please send prayers for the family

Posted by: ThunderB at November 20, 2015 05:10 PM (zOTsN)

48 Adult diapers. No, don't laugh. It's no laughing matter. Tough for older people. Like Jeb Bush -- Crappy Pants!

Posted by: Not Real Donald Trump at November 20, 2015 05:11 PM (dciA+)

49 I think all legislation passed during Wilson's presidency should be voided.

Posted by: Pappy O'Daniel at November 20, 2015 05:11 PM (oVJmc)

50 FDR. Interned American. Pretty slow in the 40. Dead!

Posted by: Grump928(c) at November 20, 2015 05:11 PM (evdj2)

51 Charlie Sheen. Great guy. Troubled though. Had sex with him. Lost 40 lbs!

boom

Posted by: artisanal 'ette: TGIF! at November 20, 2015 05:11 PM (qCMvj)

52 Watched Avatar. Kinda dumb. Liked it though. Who knew Smurfs were so friggin' yuge?

Posted by: Pug Mahon at November 20, 2015 05:11 PM (RwwCT)

53 Ace. Gets up late. Thinks he knows everything, close but not there. Has great commenters. Hates Rubio!

Posted by: JEM at November 20, 2015 05:11 PM (o+SC1)

54 >>>Trumpku.

Presidency mine
No idea what I'll do
Ron Popeil rocks!

Posted by: Herr Morgenholz at November 20, 2015 05:12 PM (EUMr7)

55 Posted by: ThunderB at November 20, 2015 05:10 PM (zOTsN)

That was terrible. I will certainly send prayers.

Posted by: FenelonSpoke at November 20, 2015 05:12 PM (No/ki)

56

Andy Murray lost. Tennis is fun and good exercise. Why do British tennis players suck?

Posted by: artisanal 'ette: TGIF! at November 20, 2015 05:12 PM (qCMvj)

57 Islam. Curse on the world. Every Islamic country is a shithole. Can I say shithole? Just did.

Anyways, did you know in Islam you can have 4 wives? Four! Hell, three was too much for me. Anyone that marries 4 women at the same time, you know is crazy.

Posted by: Stateless Infidel at November 20, 2015 05:12 PM (AC0lD)

58 Trump could've been a fun George Steinbrenner like character on Seinfeld.

Posted by: Y-not on the phone at November 20, 2015 05:12 PM (t5zYU)

59 Watched Avatar. Kinda dumb. Liked it though. Who knew Smurfs were so friggin' yuge?

Ponytail sex. It's other worldly!

Posted by: Grump928(c) at November 20, 2015 05:12 PM (evdj2)

60 Marco Rubio. Makes his dad sound like a great guy. Hey, maybe we should get his dad to run for president. Cut out the middleman!

Posted by: Not Real Donald Trump at November 20, 2015 05:13 PM (dciA+)

61 That buzzion fella. Nice for a dead guy. Good service except for all the coffin banging. Great music.

Posted by: BackwardsBoy at November 20, 2015 05:13 PM (LUgeY)

62 Jeans. This country was built by strong men wearing jeans. George Will hates jeans. George Will is a loser!

Posted by: Dack Thrombosis at November 20, 2015 05:14 PM (4ErVI)

63 Martin O'Malley. Wasn't he on Roseanne? Played the boss. Tough job, being the boss, I can tell you. But it's probably easier when you're reading a script.

Posted by: Tonald Drump at November 20, 2015 05:14 PM (2WoCi)

64 Just realized how little I know about KulturTrump, but here goes.

So much chaos, inane thoughts clouding judgement, I've got straw-blonde hair, HEY! THAT'S MY F"N FOOT YER STANDIN' ON!

Posted by: 13times at November 20, 2015 05:14 PM (WHVu+)

65 Buzzion, one of the greats. We all miss him. Went too young. Like Lynnyrd Skynnyrd. Freebird!

Posted by: Not Real Donald Trump at November 20, 2015 05:15 PM (dciA+)

66 I got laid last night. Really classy lady, your mom. And reasonably priced!

Posted by: Colorado Alex at November 20, 2015 05:15 PM (fC9RO)

67 The Simpsons? Hasn't been funny in years. Everyone's yellow and the baby never ages!

Posted by: Paulbot at November 20, 2015 05:15 PM (JVIKI)

68 Marco Rubio. Great guy. Get his dad and Kasich's together and I could have a drink while reading my mail. Twofer!

Posted by: Herr Morgenholz at November 20, 2015 05:15 PM (EUMr7)

69 >> Anyways, did you know in Islam you can have 4 wives?
>> Four! Hell, three was too much for me. Anyone that
>> marries 4 women at the same time, you know is crazy.

Chick with the soapsuds nipple in France. I could do her. She didn't blow herself up after all. Fuck a Muslim, it's the best way to show you care.

Posted by: Donald Trump at November 20, 2015 05:15 PM (o+SC1)

70 Was Obama abused by Frank Marshall as a boy? Is that why he and Hairy Reid get along so well?

Posted by: MTF at November 20, 2015 05:15 PM (TxJGV)

71 Jihad. What a bunch of assholes. Need killing. Do it!

Posted by: ThunderB at November 20, 2015 05:16 PM (zOTsN)

72 Islam : they call this a religion. ok I guess. I mean, it seems like a lot of them don't like us. We should make a list of those people. Someone is Raping the Goats!

Posted by: Garrett at November 20, 2015 05:16 PM (DxKQL)

73 English. Not my best subject, Complex, compound sentences. What's the point, anyway? Keep things simple. Be a winner like me.

Posted by: FenelonSpoke at November 20, 2015 05:16 PM (No/ki)

74 Cowboys. Probably a great job. Riding a horse. Roping up cows. Only problem -- Jeb Bush's Face!!

Posted by: Not Real Donald Trump at November 20, 2015 05:16 PM (dciA+)

75 My buildings. All named after me. Luxurious, every one. My pilot's a hoot.

Posted by: BackwardsBoy at November 20, 2015 05:16 PM (LUgeY)

76 Here's the thing about ISIS, ok? They wear dark clothing in the desert. Who does this? They must smell like a toilet and they've got flags no one can read them. Pew!

Posted by: Dack Thrombosis at November 20, 2015 05:17 PM (4ErVI)

77 Ulysses Grant? Fantastic general, just keep him away from my liquor cabinet!

Posted by: Paulbot at November 20, 2015 05:17 PM (JVIKI)

78 Charlie Sheen, there's a screwed up guy. Caught AIDS from hookers and drugs. Loved two-and-a-half men!

Posted by: V the K at November 20, 2015 05:17 PM (LKuz+)

79 Tried cock stew once. Did not like it. Would like to try Adele. She's classy / huge. Would eat for a week!

Posted by: Cannibal Trump at November 20, 2015 05:17 PM (ysFo+)

80 Huma's husband sends dick pics. I don't know why, because he's really small. Really small. If I sent dick pics you'd see a yuuuuuuuuge picture, but I don't need to do that to get girls.

Posted by: MTF at November 20, 2015 05:18 PM (TxJGV)

81 John Kasich. Total loser, no supporters. Dads works for USPS, which is horrible. UPS does a much better job!

Posted by: Harry Paratestes at November 20, 2015 05:18 PM (AkOaV)

82 Rosie O'Donnell. Fat disgusting slob of a woman. If you tied a pork chop around her neck so the dog would play with her, she'd eat it. Eat the dog too!

Posted by: Fritz at November 20, 2015 05:18 PM (3tjn4)

83 Jared Fogle? What a loser Went from ham planet to child molester. If he drops the soap, he's gonna get a footlong IYKWIMAITTYD!

Posted by: V the K at November 20, 2015 05:19 PM (LKuz+)

84 Hillary Clinton. Those funny glasses, like Mr Magoo. Did she have a stroke? Brain damage!

Posted by: ThunderB at November 20, 2015 05:19 PM (zOTsN)

85 John Kasich, I mean is he on amphetamines? He's here he's there he's doing that thing with his face. What's going on there? Not presidential material!

Posted by: Dack Thrombosis at November 20, 2015 05:19 PM (4ErVI)

86 Rosie, Big Fat Lovable Rosie, She's LBGT y'know, OMFG YOU'RE STANDING ON MY FOOT YOU HUGE COW OF A WOMAN.

Posted by: 13times at November 20, 2015 05:20 PM (WHVu+)

87

Kasich, another GOP Trojan Horse. What's a Trojan Horse? John Kasich, that's who!

Posted by: artisanal 'ette: TGIF! at November 20, 2015 05:20 PM (qCMvj)

88 Ace of Spades. Face like an Ewok. Pounds on his "Imperial Helmet" like he just won a war on Endor. Endor! Dude needs a room.

Posted by: krakatoa at November 20, 2015 05:20 PM (RCS9o)

89 Bill Clinton. Love the guy! Knows his cigars. Terrible taste in women!

Posted by: ThunderB at November 20, 2015 05:20 PM (zOTsN)

90 Emperor Palpatine? Not such a nice guy. Kicked Yoda's ass!

Posted by: V the K at November 20, 2015 05:20 PM (LKuz+)

91 You see that reporter tried to set me up? Loser. Not just that, morbidly obese. I mention food stamps and he hits the buffet line. Not low energy when it comes to free food. But the wall, so tall. *points at empire state building* That tall. And I'll make the mayor of New York pay for it.

ISIS. Big problem. High energy. Oil fields. See what the Russians did? That's what I said last week. Cut off the money.

Posted by: se pa moron at November 20, 2015 05:21 PM (7v/r5)

92 Ace. Great guy, love his blog. Clearly not a morning person!

Posted by: Harry Paratestes at November 20, 2015 05:21 PM (AkOaV)

93 Mali terrorism. I love the south Pacific. If I'd bought that hotel, it never would have happened. Mali High!

Posted by: the littl shyning man at November 20, 2015 05:21 PM (U6f54)

94 I never fucked anyone Charlie Sheen fucked. God knows where Bill's been. And if Hillary called him in - yikes! Surgeon General doesn't have to worry about me!

Posted by: Donald Trump at November 20, 2015 05:21 PM (o+SC1)

95 I like Marco Rubio, seems like a nice kid. I believe his family does landscaping and sells burritos. LOVE burritos, but he's too much of a hot-head!

Posted by: Dr Spank at November 20, 2015 05:21 PM (TJCSB)

96 Tom Friedman. A loser in any media. Likes cats though. Gotta find what feet are going for these days in Cairo.

Posted by: Cannibal Trump at November 20, 2015 05:21 PM (ysFo+)

97 The finale of BSG? Oh it was a disaster. A total disaster. It coulda been great. I mean, to let that show, with that fan base. And let me tell you something, that was a terrific fan base. Just YYYUUUGE. And dedicated. They were the best. But that Ronald D Moore. Now clearly, clearly he had lost the energy for that project. I mean that was just a disaster. Now who would have done a great job, an excellent job? JJ Abrams. JJ Abrams is a great guy awesome guy. Really terrible the way that turned out.

Posted by: ginaswo at November 20, 2015 05:21 PM (qxNrP)

98 Chris Hayes. Maybe a nice guy, wears glasses. Probably no kind of dynamite in the bedroom. Bad ratings!

Posted by: Not Real Donald Trump at November 20, 2015 05:21 PM (dciA+)

99 Couldn't have White Castle for lunch today. Great food! But not before an important business meeting!

Posted by: Paulbot at November 20, 2015 05:22 PM (JVIKI)

100 Rand Paul never does well. He looks like he's wearing a helmet made out of brillo pads. He'll never set foot in the oval office!

Posted by: Dack Thrombosis at November 20, 2015 05:22 PM (4ErVI)

101 Syria. What a dump. I would send the Syrians back, and they could build a Trump Golf Course! Winning!

Posted by: ThunderB at November 20, 2015 05:22 PM (zOTsN)

102 Irritable Bowel Syndrome? Yeah, that can cause a lot of discomfort. Then, you shit your pants!

Posted by: V the K at November 20, 2015 05:22 PM (LKuz+)

103 Since I've been watching nearly every rally and interview of Trump's since July, I've noticed I'm beginning to sound like him, lol. It's easy to fall into his speech pattern. He uses smaller words than most and it packs a stronger punch.

Posted by: Aslan's Girl at November 20, 2015 05:23 PM (xetep)

104 Megyn Kelly is terrible. Ugly and bloody. Loud, but terrible. No one watches her show. She begs me to go her show. Ailes begs me too, great friend of mine.

Posted by: MTF at November 20, 2015 05:23 PM (TxJGV)

105 Romans. Started out okay, senators and stuff, but started getting emperors. Some were pretty bad, then barbarians everywhere. Goths, Vandals, everyone and their hairy smelly brother started showing up. Collapse!

Posted by: Cicero (@cicero) at November 20, 2015 05:23 PM (8ZskC)

106 Kittens. Like little baby versions of cats. So soft!

Posted by: V the K at November 20, 2015 05:24 PM (LKuz+)

107 Julian Castro. Horrible homely short guy. Big fat mother. She shaves her face! Check his papers!

Posted by: ThunderB at November 20, 2015 05:24 PM (zOTsN)

108

Cruz crushes ABC reporter. Reporters all go to the same school. Jonathan Karl need to learn his ABC's!

Posted by: artisanal 'ette: TGIF! at November 20, 2015 05:24 PM (qCMvj)

109 Huma Abedin. Smart woman. Huge smile. I mean, have you seen her teeth? She smiles and I'm thinking of Tom Sawyer and the picket fence over here. Hillary wears her like a scarf!

Posted by: Dack Thrombosis at November 20, 2015 05:24 PM (4ErVI)

110 I <3 NYC, It's huge happy family, except for the mafia labor unions getting in on my AC action, OMFG YOU'RE STANDING ON MY FOOT YOU SILLY FRAKN IMMIGRANT

Posted by: 13times at November 20, 2015 05:24 PM (WHVu+)

111 Pumpkin pie. So good. You eat it, you wonder: This is so good, why do we only eat it once per year? Then you forget. That's the way it goes. CNBC-- a disaster!

Posted by: Not Real Donald Trump at November 20, 2015 05:25 PM (dciA+)

112 Twitter trolls. Total losers. I could teach them a thing or two. I should have them for a private dinner. I'll carve!

Posted by: Cannibal Trump at November 20, 2015 05:25 PM (ysFo+)

113 Thai streetwalkers. Nice people, but not trustworthy. Harry agrees. Made some great deals!

Posted by: Harry Ballagna at November 20, 2015 05:25 PM (ewk40)

114 Obama. A stuttering clusterfuck. Miserable failure.

Posted by: aquaviva at November 20, 2015 05:26 PM (M0TPG)

115

This new Pope. Nice guy, a little naive. He's anti captalist. Commie!

Posted by: ThunderB at November 20, 2015 05:26 PM (zOTsN)

116 Hillary. Wears a wig. Still doesn't help. Face like a rutted road.

Posted by: ChristyBlinky, aging supermodel Redneck Queen at November 20, 2015 05:26 PM (Mopd7)

117 Kegel exercises for men. Or PC exercises. Love them. They strengthen a man's sexual stamina. And you can do them anywhere. I'm doing them now. Hold on, eight, nine, ten - release. See real easy. I can lift a bucket of rocks with my erection!

(I only bring this up because I've started lifting weights again and during all rest breaks - PC exercises. There you go....)

Posted by: Stateless Infidel at November 20, 2015 05:26 PM (AC0lD)

118 The Battle of Hastings? What a disaster for the Saxons. Total disaster. Now William the Bastard. Theres a leader! Great guy, terrific guy. But those Saxons, really unfortunate the way they fought Hardrada and William back to back. But William did a terrific job there, really terrific. YYYUUUUGE growth, job creation through the roof.

Posted by: ginaswo at November 20, 2015 05:26 PM (qxNrP)

119 Not sure. Great guy. But he talks like a fag, and his shit is all retarded.

Posted by: Harry Paratestes at November 20, 2015 05:27 PM (AkOaV)

120 >>>19 Devo. Never got them, ok? They went out there with the black clothing and the funny little hats. They had whips or whatever. No staying power!
Posted by: Dack Thrombosis at November 20, 2015 05:04 PM (4ErVI)

Hilarious.

Posted by: m at November 20, 2015 05:27 PM (tElZn)

121 Elizabeth Shu? Like totally naked in "Leaving Las Vegas," It's like 39 minutes 45 seconds in. Really exceptional sequence, I mean, Nick Cage is poisoning himself with alcohol, he's a failed writer who just decides hey I'm gonna have a big glass of rye in Las Vegas. Then he, meets a whore and pays her a bunch a' money to stay with him, and have sex with him while he murders himself slowly. And she's game for it, but she catches his feeling midway through and the whole thing changes. But... um... still so hot!

Posted by: V the K at November 20, 2015 05:28 PM (LKuz+)

122 Charlie Sheen. Great actor. Two and half men was so great, funny. Don't sleep with trannies!

Posted by: Hillary's alcoholic depression at November 20, 2015 05:28 PM (DkXQB)

123

this is sort of awesome. Makes you condense your thoughts

Posted by: ThunderB at November 20, 2015 05:28 PM (zOTsN)

124 Christmas music in the middle of November is for losers.

Posted by: derit at November 20, 2015 05:28 PM (jT+gh)

125 Oh, ffs. Did I just get willowed making a Spinal Tap joke? That's what happens when I walk away from the blog to do work.

Posted by: RedMindBlueState at November 20, 2015 05:28 PM (pLwjI)

126 Anthony Weiner? Total Perv. His wife fucks Hillary. Don't want near the WH!

Posted by: Harry Paratestes at November 20, 2015 05:28 PM (AkOaV)

127 I'm on the toilet, taking a dump. I went to Wharton you know. So this is going to be just huge, and spectacular.

Posted by: Donald Trump at November 20, 2015 05:29 PM (mcm0N)

128 Guy fucked horses. Had a bucket for it and everything. I mean, what kind of total loser fucks a horse? Does the horse mind? Better stick to chickens where you're closer to the ground!

Posted by: Cicero (@cicero) at November 20, 2015 05:29 PM (8ZskC)

129 Legos are fun. My kid builds little luxurious hotels with them. Stepped on one once with bare feet and lost the will to live!

Posted by: Dack Thrombosis at November 20, 2015 05:29 PM (4ErVI)

130
Caitlyn Jenner. Great Guy! Terrific golfer. Whats with the dress? Confusing

Posted by: ThunderB at November 20, 2015 05:29 PM (zOTsN)

131 Harry Reid : have you ever seen a creepier guy? That thing with the excercise band? Who makes up a story like that? I work out. Like with weights. Reps. Many, many, many reps. Searchlight Strangler!

Posted by: Garrett at November 20, 2015 05:30 PM (DxKQL)

132 Juan Williams. Makes a lot of stupid faces on TV. Makes a lot of stupid statements on TV. Wotta maroon!

Posted by: Bertram Cabot Jr. at November 20, 2015 05:30 PM (FkBIv)

133 Barack Obama? Nice guy, real nice guy. Hates America, though. Needs to go!

Posted by: Harry Paratestes at November 20, 2015 05:30 PM (AkOaV)

134 Thai streetwalkers. Nice people, but not trustworthy. packin' a little something extra, you know? Harry agrees. Made some great deals!

Posted by: Harry Ballagna at November 20, 2015 05:25 PM

FIFY

Posted by: RedMindBlueState at November 20, 2015 05:30 PM (pLwjI)

135 S/o should send a link of this thread to teh Donald. He'd get a kick out of it and deliver a few of his own.

Everybody see the video in the side bar of Trump heckling the food stamp heckler? Gold!

Posted by: some dope at November 20, 2015 05:30 PM (yvwr7)

136 Muhammad was crappy prophet. Lied to his followers about getting rich. I made a lot more money!

Hillary looks lost a lot. Probably has brain damage. What a wig!

Rubio's supporters pretend not to be because they know their guy is a loser. I am a winner. Make America Great Again!

Wilson was such a loser. TR would made a much better war president. Of course I am better than TR!

Putin has a nice mistress. Look at some properties with him. Best since Peter the Great!

Posted by: William Eaton at November 20, 2015 05:31 PM (q52Ma)

137 Democrats. Say they want to help the poor. But the poor are worse off now. Only self-serving policies that hurt the poor. Complete liars!

Republicans who attack other Republicans. Say they are supporting their guy. Only really they hurt the brand. Idiots!

No offense, but I'm looking at you Ace.

Posted by: petunia at November 20, 2015 05:31 PM (VoCyE)

138 Vlad the Impaler. Terrible guy, tough guy. Lined the road with bodies. May have saved Europe from the muslim hordes. Considering

Posted by: ThunderB at November 20, 2015 05:31 PM (zOTsN)

139 Hillary. Yeah I gave her some money. Like the lint at the bottom of my pocket. What a face.

But Bill, what a guy. Got the most dangerous humidor in the world. Blue dress. High energy sperm. Still wiggling around a year later when the FBI gets ahold of the dress.

I got dry cleaners at my hotel's woulda fixed that. Good people, high energy. Not losers.

Posted by: se pa moron at November 20, 2015 05:31 PM (7v/r5)

140 Trumpism. NYT brainiac says it's more an attitude than an ideology. Welcome to the party, pal! Loser

Posted by: Raylan Givens at November 20, 2015 05:31 PM (NOIQH)

141 Hillary Clinton. Completely wrong for America. Looking forward to beating her. She was great at my wedding!

Posted by: Hillary's alcoholic depression at November 20, 2015 05:32 PM (DkXQB)

142 Amazon Prime? Great product YYYUGE product, really terrific. Use it all the time. That Jeff Bezos, what a great guy. A real leader. Visionary. I was an early investor. I saw that talent. That hour delivery in Manhattan. That's terrific! Really stupendous job Bezos has done there.

Posted by: ginaswo at November 20, 2015 05:32 PM (qxNrP)

143 This is a new kind of "Ace awesomeness!"

I wish I had the time and the creativity right now, but I will have to depend on the "morons" for this, and know I will not be disappointed!...

Posted by: Optimizer at November 20, 2015 05:32 PM (/q6+P)

144 The Battle of Hastings? What a disaster for the Saxons. Total disaster. Now William the Bastard. Theres a leader! Great guy, terrific guy. But those Saxons, really unfortunate the way they fought Hardrada and William back to back. But William did a terrific job there, really terrific. YYYUUUUGE growth, job creation through the roof.

HAHAHAHA!

Posted by: Aunt Ralph at November 20, 2015 05:32 PM (6VG2o)

145 Putin. Whats with his face? He looks like he escaped from Madam Toussauds. I think he is really Joan Rivers. Leader!

Posted by: ThunderB at November 20, 2015 05:32 PM (zOTsN)

146 Plinko? Challenging game. There's chance involved but there's some skill there, too. Best game on The Price is Right!

Posted by: V the K at November 20, 2015 05:33 PM (LKuz+)

147 FDR was an overrated president! Pretty lame guy if you ask me! Great work with the March of Dimes though

Posted by: Paulbot at November 20, 2015 05:33 PM (JVIKI)

148 My manhood, just ask Melanka -is just like my hotels--GOLDEN!

Posted by: Donald Trump at November 20, 2015 05:33 PM (mcm0N)

149 Miley Cyrus...what can I say? Cute kid, helluva tongue. Serious issues, though. Wouldn't hit it, all things considered!

Posted by: RedMindBlueState at November 20, 2015 05:33 PM (pLwjI)

150 Donald Trump. Comb-over fat-head. He thinks has a lot more class than he really has. Beat 'em Ted!

Posted by: Grampa Jimbo at November 20, 2015 05:34 PM (1ijHg)

151 ISIS? Horrible people, burned a pilot. Bomb the SHIT out of them!

Posted by: Harry Paratestes at November 20, 2015 05:34 PM (AkOaV)

152
Some people say I don't like Mexicans. That's silly. I ate a taco for lunch today. A fabulous beef taco. I don't know. It could've been cat. I mean, I don't know. You shouldn't serve people cat tacos!

Posted by: naturalfake at November 20, 2015 05:34 PM (0cMkb)

153 Ace of Spades, it's a nice place, I mean, if you like all the swearing and conservatives and that kind of stuff. Lots of people don't. I personally don't, but if you do, if someone does, go ahead, knock yourself out. Ace is, well, he's a little tyranty- He bans people for insults. That's what tyrants do, dictators. But hey, if that's what you're into... I hear he's small and hairy too. That's what I hear, from people who know. But some like that, some people are into that: small hairy tyrants, I'm not, but some are, so who knows... Basically Ace is an ewok Hitler- I didn't say he was Hitler. I didn't say anything bad about Hitler, or Ace. Or ewoks. Just that Ace is basically ewok Hitler...so sue me. Or ban me, I don't care. Do you know how much money I have?

Posted by: Donald Hates Ace at November 20, 2015 05:34 PM (2Hkbk)

154

Andrea Mitchell. NBC reporter. Married to Alan Greenspan, twenty years her senior. Gold Digger!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6vwNcNOTVzY

Posted by: artisanal 'ette: TGIF! at November 20, 2015 05:34 PM (qCMvj)

155 Adele. Beautiful singer. Great great voice. Whats with the couch covers? Stylist!

Posted by: ThunderB at November 20, 2015 05:34 PM (zOTsN)

156
This IS real content, Ace.

Great idea. Great post.

Posted by: Soothsayer at November 20, 2015 05:35 PM (xiDlM)

157 These threads are almost my reason for living...

New York City. YUUGE crime problem, but there's like, what, 150 superheroes living here? I don't get it. We'll put up a wall around Manhattan, have Spiderman do patrols. Reed Richards is a Liberal hack.

Posted by: SGT York at November 20, 2015 05:35 PM (q2vfd)

158 Ivana, Great woman but a lousy cook, Peg Bundy without the toaster leavin's, OMFG YOU'RE STANDING ON MY FOOT YOU BOG JUMPIN" MIC

Posted by: 13times at November 20, 2015 05:35 PM (WHVu+)

159 Bill Clinton. The places his dick has seen. STDs are rampant. Someone test Hillary for AIDS!

Posted by: Valiant at November 20, 2015 05:36 PM (2bqlb)

160
Hillary Clinton. Acts like a high class whore. Doesn't look like one, What a face!

Posted by: Guy Mohawk at November 20, 2015 05:36 PM (ODxAs)

161 Chris Christie will never be the nominee for president. He's from New Jersey. Maybe I'll buy Dunkin' Donuts and make him the president and CEO!

Posted by: Fritz at November 20, 2015 05:36 PM (3tjn4)

162 Black Lives Matter. Absolutely. Because we all do. And they, them, whatever you want, they're part of us. Not the little us, but the Big us. That slavery thing, though, terrible. Can't Send Em Back !

Posted by: Aunt Ralph at November 20, 2015 05:36 PM (6VG2o)

163 Bloomberg? Great guy. Totally wrong on guns. Everyone should carry, like me!

Posted by: Harry Paratestes at November 20, 2015 05:36 PM (AkOaV)

164 Trump is running for president like he might play Second Life or Farmville. He's competitive, but he really doesn't seem to give a shit about the substance. He contradicts himself sometimes even offering different positions in the same speech. The GOPe created this monster though and I think their squealing over Trump's continuing success in the race is unseemly.

Posted by: MTF at November 20, 2015 05:36 PM (TxJGV)

165 Lindsay Graham. Total loser. He's at zero percent. And he minces a lot, ok? I mean you probably couldn't see it home on the television, but take it from me he minces everywhere. Not oval office material!

Posted by: Dack Thrombosis at November 20, 2015 05:36 PM (4ErVI)

166 Pedro the Cruel, now there was a guy with image problems. Tough guy, good leader, imposed lots of discipline. Could have used some brand management. Got a bad rap because of the brand.

Posted by: Cicero (@cicero) at November 20, 2015 05:37 PM (8ZskC)

167

oh, 154 probably nsfw

Posted by: artisanal 'ette: TGIF! at November 20, 2015 05:37 PM (qCMvj)

168 I will get rid of ISIS just like my cold sore, CHAP STICK!

Posted by: Donald Trump at November 20, 2015 05:37 PM (mcm0N)

169 First spouses. You really want unsupervised Bill playing with interns in the Lincoln bedroom while Hillary travels? Not that crap again!

Posted by: Lizzy at November 20, 2015 05:37 PM (NOIQH)

170 Rand Paul? Total loser. Looks like a kid who is boycotting the barbershop. His old man was better!

Posted by: Harry Paratestes at November 20, 2015 05:38 PM (AkOaV)

171 I see I went long in my last post. And that's gonna get me in trouble with the tyrants who police long posts. But you know what? I don't care. I say what needs to be said. And people like that- I mean, what are my poll numbers now? 60% favorable? 75% in favor? Probably higher than that- so what do I know? I just say what needs to be said and people respond, favorably. I don't think Ace can say that, maybe he can, but I don't think so...

Posted by: Donald Hates Ace at November 20, 2015 05:39 PM (2Hkbk)

172 The Inquisation. Terrible, horrible, nobody expected it. Love Mexican food. Queso!

Posted by: ThunderB at November 20, 2015 05:39 PM (zOTsN)

173 The Crusades? Very violent. Lots of people died. Maybe not a horrible idea!

Posted by: Harry Paratestes at November 20, 2015 05:39 PM (AkOaV)

174 Mitch McConnell. I don't know him. I've heard things though. Somebody says he looks like a turtle. I think he looks scared all the time. Like a kid who had a party that trashed the house and his parents are coming home. I love my Dad!

Posted by: Dack Thrombosis at November 20, 2015 05:39 PM (4ErVI)

175 Is it wrong that this makes me actually like Trump a little more?

I'm still a Cruz man but...he is a better communicator than I've been giving him credit for.

Posted by: Mark Andrew Edwards at November 20, 2015 05:39 PM (CLKLh)

176 Jessica Jones. Never heard of her. Sharp elbows though. Iowa knows!

Posted by: Komissar Vladimir at November 20, 2015 05:40 PM (voUxQ)

177
Cheetos. Taste great but sounds like Patriots. And orange fingers are terrible.

Posted by: Guy Mohawk at November 20, 2015 05:40 PM (ODxAs)

178 Megan? Very controversial girl. Cute face. Does butt stuff!

Posted by: Harry Paratestes at November 20, 2015 05:40 PM (AkOaV)

179

Headphones can cause ear damage. Good sound systems can shake the house from its foundations. Cops at my door!

Posted by: artisanal 'ette: TGIF! at November 20, 2015 05:40 PM (qCMvj)

180 Hillary Clinton. Never actually in charge of anything. Never ran a business. Untested. You know who else was untested? Charlie Sheen!

Posted by: Not Real Donald Trump at November 20, 2015 05:40 PM (dciA+)

181 JJ Abrams? Total hack! My DVR cut off the last five minutes of the Lost finale. His Star Trek was better than Voyager though.

Posted by: Paulbot at November 20, 2015 05:41 PM (JVIKI)

182 George Washington was a great man. Founded the nation. Lost lots of battles though.

Posted by: William Eaton at November 20, 2015 05:41 PM (q52Ma)

183

TheModernMan

Ben Carson. His eyes are never all the way open. You ever notice that? How can you trust a guy whose eyes are always closed? Mr. Magoo!

nailed it!

Posted by: artisanal 'ette: TGIF! at November 20, 2015 05:41 PM (qCMvj)

184 We are meant to laugh at a man who has mastered the enemy's communications platform? Who has matched the luftwaffe of the left from a position of relative weakness then used the "outwit and punch on" strategy?

Conservatives everywhere bitch about the lapdog media or lamestream media etc. but as I have urged for 15 years, the enemy must be fought where and how the engagement occurs, anywhere, any time, by any means necessary, with no retreat and no surrender.

I still think Trump's original role was as a spoiler to split the vote as the latest in a long line from Wallace to Perot, but in the reality of the war HClinton has spiralled into the ground and he can see no percentage in continuing the kabuki. So he has adapted to actually get the contract for President instead of just tendering in bad faith.

Hoping that this revision is true, he will make a superb Reagan style President if so.

And massive thanks are due to Palin for being the Wonder Woman type lightning rod blocking for the QB.

Posted by: Flying Tiger Comics at November 20, 2015 05:41 PM (7JUwl)

185 Dallas Keuchel. Great pitcher. Have you seen his beard? I like beards. Barack has a beard!

Posted by: Trav at November 20, 2015 05:41 PM (PEKYn)

186 Press conferences. When I'm POTUS I'm putting all the pretty women in the front row. I support women that way!

Posted by: Lizzy at November 20, 2015 05:41 PM (NOIQH)

187 I will block the flow of refugees, like Ivanka blocked her flow:
TAMPAX!

Posted by: Donald Trump at November 20, 2015 05:42 PM (mcm0N)

188
John Kasich says he's going to take me down. Guy's face looks like a potato. Seriously, his face is all pitted and lumpy like a potato. And nobody likes him. Maybe if he fried his face in hot oil people would like him. Everybody likes French Fries!

Posted by: naturalfake at November 20, 2015 05:42 PM (0cMkb)

189 Charlie Sheen. Mediocre actor. New show? Law and Order: HIV!

Posted by: Blanco Basura at November 20, 2015 05:42 PM (YEelc)

190
Megan Kelly. Used to be good looking, now about a 5. Bleeds alot.

Posted by: Guy Mohawk at November 20, 2015 05:43 PM (ODxAs)

191 Terrible tweet. Just awful from Rubio. Why so angry? Billionaire's money, probably. Horrible candidate!

Posted by: eureka! is troubled these days at November 20, 2015 05:43 PM (g1MTt)

192 >>We are meant to laugh at a man who has mastered the enemy's communications platform? Who has matched the luftwaffe of the left from a position of relative weakness then used the "outwit and punch on" strategy?

Laughing with, not laughing at.

Posted by: Lizzy at November 20, 2015 05:43 PM (NOIQH)

193 Russians? Great people, excellent people. Love to bomb ISIS. Not so great with gulags though!

Posted by: Harry Paratestes at November 20, 2015 05:43 PM (AkOaV)

194 The Hundred Years War? I could have finished it in twenty! Joan of Arc was a class act though.

Posted by: Paulbot at November 20, 2015 05:43 PM (JVIKI)

195 Mexicans. They all love me. I pay them cash, no withholding. Hillary Clinton, Terrible.

Posted by: Stay out da bushes at November 20, 2015 05:44 PM (yioUz)

196 Melania would make a much better first spouse than Bill. In every way.

Posted by: IC at November 20, 2015 05:44 PM (a0IVu)

197 >>>Thai streetwalkers. Nice people, but not trustworthy. Harry agrees. Made some great deals!

so funny.

Posted by: Not Real Donald Trump at November 20, 2015 05:45 PM (dciA+)

198 Shame about Charlie Sheen. Hope the chicks he banged are okay. Wonder about Bill Clinton. Hillary's safe!

Posted by: Komissar Vladimir at November 20, 2015 05:45 PM (voUxQ)

199

A Royal Flush with all Ace's is righteous. Poker Friday is fun. What else is in Ace's hand?!

Posted by: oh no I di'nt at November 20, 2015 05:45 PM (qCMvj)

200 The Republican Party. They hate me! Super Pacs making ads, sending reporters to smear me. I just laugh. Its totally incredible, the more the try and crush me, the better I do in the polls! I can see why they never do anything. Losers!

Posted by: ThunderB at November 20, 2015 05:45 PM (zOTsN)

201 Women love me , it's true. #Paco Rabbane! And,I got paid for this tweet,#Went to Warton!

Posted by: Donald Trump at November 20, 2015 05:45 PM (mcm0N)

202 My VP at work. He's an ok guy. Fabulous! Didn't fire me today. Great guy, just great.

Posted by: DangerGirl and her 1.21 gigawatt Hardline Sanity Prod at November 20, 2015 05:45 PM (+eR2D)

203 An "abundance of caution"? Pussies. How about an abundance of American firepower? Kill ISIS where they live!

Posted by: Lizzy at November 20, 2015 05:45 PM (NOIQH)

204 King Arthur was a great king. Ruled Camelot. Lancelot banged his wife. So sad!

Posted by: William Eaton at November 20, 2015 05:45 PM (q52Ma)

205 Rubio had delicious trash. Then hung out with the Hateful 8. Like throwing a gallon of bleach in the garbage. Let's all scavenge somewhere else!

Posted by: Madamex at November 20, 2015 05:45 PM (sgOz/)

206 >>>We are meant to laugh at a man who has mastered the enemy's communications platform? Who has matched the luftwaffe of the left from a position of relative weakness then used the "outwit and punch on" strategy?

Conservatives everywhere bitch about the lapdog media or lamestream media etc. but as I have urged for 15 years, the enemy must be fought where and how the engagement occurs, anywhere, any time, by any means necessary, with no retreat and no surrender.

...

oh grow up, and here's a tissue for all the crying you're doing.

Posted by: Not Real Donald Trump at November 20, 2015 05:46 PM (dciA+)

207 From the Princeton Newspaper online...If the students (black) want a dedicated space for blacks - yes. Picture of Pres Wilson in dining hall - gone.
Remove all vestiges of Wilson - gone. Diversity training all white students - yes...on and on Kiss our ass every morning by cheer leading squad - yes

Posted by: Colin at November 20, 2015 05:46 PM (8BlfF)

208 Marco Rubio. Why can't he be Mark Rubio? What's with the Marco this and Marco that all the time? You're in America. Act like it. Ivanka is just great!

Posted by: Dack Thrombosis at November 20, 2015 05:46 PM (4ErVI)

209 People whining about silly jokes. Must be fun people. Must be a hoot and a half to hang out with. Total prunes. Like Megyn Kelly -- not a nice lady!

Posted by: Not Real Donald Trump at November 20, 2015 05:46 PM (dciA+)

210 Me and Kanye are tight! #GOLD DIGGAS

Posted by: Donald Trump at November 20, 2015 05:47 PM (mcm0N)

211 Chelsea Clinton. What a face. Alot of money. What a waste. Ivanka's great!

Posted by: ThunderB at November 20, 2015 05:47 PM (zOTsN)

212 Indians, 'call center not casino'. Foreigners. Good people but I can't understand a word they say. Build another wall!

Posted by: Rino sanctuary at November 20, 2015 05:47 PM (2tySh)

213
Oedipus Rex. Killed his dad, banged his mom. He's a doer.

Posted by: Guy Mohawk at November 20, 2015 05:47 PM (ODxAs)

214 209
People whining about silly jokes. Must be fun people. Must be a hoot and
a half to hang out with. Total prunes. Like Megyn Kelly -- not a nice
lady!

Posted by: Not Real Donald Trump at November 20, 2015 05:46 PM (dciA+)

Heh.

Posted by: Dack Thrombosis at November 20, 2015 05:47 PM (4ErVI)

215 Obama foreign policy. Vague and disinterested. Epic fail. How about too muscular to be mocked?!

Posted by: Lizzy at November 20, 2015 05:47 PM (NOIQH)

216 No, I think the concerned commenter was correct.

We should not be making fun of Trump (pbuh) as he may some day be the president.

Posted by: Harry Paratestes at November 20, 2015 05:48 PM (AkOaV)

217 Hillary. She has a face for a call center. And that cackle. Is that a type of cancer? It's gotta be bad because healthy people don't sound like that. Bill's great though!

Posted by: Dack Thrombosis at November 20, 2015 05:49 PM (4ErVI)

218 World War II. What a disaster! They sink our ships, we nuke two of their cities. And the Germans. Even worse.
Some of those Jap girls are cute, though. Germans too.

Posted by: The Great White Snark at November 20, 2015 05:49 PM (IWLe1)

219 People say megyn kelly is "good-looking". It's ridiculous, because they mean by tv anchor standards. If she were a model she couldn't get work!

Posted by: trickamsterdam at November 20, 2015 05:49 PM (kfZE0)

220
Marco Rubio. Marco spelled backwards is O cram. You think that doesn't mean something? I think that means something!

Posted by: naturalfake at November 20, 2015 05:49 PM (0cMkb)

221 We are meant to laugh at a man who has mastered the enemy's communications platform?

Yes. Because people with no humor are bad. I have a great sense of humor. Not like Obama!

Posted by: The Donald at November 20, 2015 05:49 PM (No/ki)

222 President Obama. Terrible awful Commander in Chief. Just unbelievably bad. Wont let the Air Force destroy ISIS. Traitor!

Posted by: ThunderB at November 20, 2015 05:49 PM (zOTsN)

223 I beat Tom Brady at golf! He's not as smart as Gisele! #there's gold in my golf balls

Posted by: Donald Trump at November 20, 2015 05:49 PM (mcm0N)

224
Whose this Ace guy calling me out. Ace of what? Hardware? He attracts losers who like to drool at cheerleader pictures and talk about elbows. Take it from someone who always wins at blackjack at my casinos, he's a joker.

Posted by: TheReallyRealDonaldTrump at November 20, 2015 05:50 PM (s26zM)

225

Donald J. Trump @realDonaldTrump 3m3 minutes ago

Just got back from South Carolina. Going to Alabama tomorrow!

Posted by: oh no I di'nt at November 20, 2015 05:50 PM (qCMvj)

226 220

Marco Rubio. Marco spelled backwards is O cram. You think that doesn't mean something? I think that means something!

Posted by: naturalfake at November 20, 2015 05:49 PM (0cMkb)

lol

Posted by: Dack Thrombosis at November 20, 2015 05:51 PM (4ErVI)

227 Obama and Golf! Don't get me started. You'd think at this point he'd be good at it. Probably has no swing. Limp wrists!

Posted by: Not Real Donald Trump at November 20, 2015 05:51 PM (dciA+)

228

this is actually a pretty effective way of communicating, if simplistic and hokey

sort of like the anti Cruz method of communication. Not debate or serman style but bullet points

Posted by: ThunderB at November 20, 2015 05:51 PM (zOTsN)

229 Hillary's speech yesterday. So now it's "radical jihadiism"? Let's just call 'em DEAD!

Posted by: Lizzy at November 20, 2015 05:51 PM (NOIQH)

230 Hillary Clinton: She came to my wedding. It was a deal I made. Her brother's a crook. Both of them are and she too. Kankles.

Posted by: MaxMBJ at November 20, 2015 05:52 PM (Uq9ly)

231 Tried changing my Facebook filter to support Paris. Couldn't figure it out! Maybe I'll buy the Eiffel Tower instead

Posted by: Paulbot at November 20, 2015 05:52 PM (JVIKI)

232 Cheeseburgers. Is the cheese really necessary? Not really, no. But that' s alright. Bacon burgers, you're onto something, something quintessentially American. Meat as a condiment!

Posted by: -Shawn- at November 20, 2015 05:52 PM (N7jvU)

233 The Chinese are killing us. They've got all the killers and we have a guy whose face looks like an elbow. And their hotels are tiny? I couldn't get into the bathroom they're so small. Make America Great Again!

Posted by: Dack Thrombosis at November 20, 2015 05:52 PM (4ErVI)

234 We are meant to laugh at a man who has mastered the enemy's communications platform? Who has matched the luftwaffe of the left from a position of relative weakness then used the "outwit and punch on" strategy?

Conservatives everywhere bitch about the lapdog media or lamestream media etc.

Friday is Fun Day. Orange is a nice color. Boehner can teach you something!

Posted by: artisanal 'ette: TGIF! at November 20, 2015 05:52 PM (qCMvj)

235 Reminds me of Dale Carnegie public speaking class: Always end with restating main point + benefit!!

Posted by: Lizzy at November 20, 2015 05:52 PM (NOIQH)

236 The Chinese, what's with them anyway? They build a YUUUGE wall, I mean, major, major capital investment. Then, NO INCOME STREAM. HELLO! What was the business plan there? You know, business plan? I would have had those Mongols lined up at slot machines six deep. Believe me, I can handle the Chinese. They're just not that smart.

Posted by: Cicero (@cicero) at November 20, 2015 05:53 PM (8ZskC)

237 First Ladys. Melania will to a terrific amazing job. Just fantastic. Cant let Bill Clinton near her. Not even in an elevator. He humps her leg!

Posted by: ThunderB at November 20, 2015 05:53 PM (zOTsN)

238 He is Branding his opponents. And he is a genius at communicating those brands.

Posted by: jim at November 20, 2015 05:53 PM (RaGP7)

239 Ted Cruz: I like him. He's been nice to me. Not sure how Cuban he is, though.

Posted by: Xerxes at November 20, 2015 05:53 PM (Uq9ly)

240 Muslims. Religion of Peace. But they blow shit up and kill people. Hillary likes them though.

Posted by: Your Totally Objective Members of the MSM at November 20, 2015 05:54 PM (YFFpo)

241 Bill O'Reilly.. thinks he's a smart guy. He's not. He cheats on his wife and then pays people off to keep their mouth shut! I had sex with his wife.. she was pretty good! Your loss Bill!

Posted by: jewells45 at November 20, 2015 05:54 PM (5fvBZ)

242 congress....you're fired...now get out of here

Posted by: phoenixgirl, i was born a rebel at November 20, 2015 05:54 PM (0O7c5)

243

Jeb can Fix It! says Jeb!'s campaign. Campaigns can be taxing on the family. Jeb!'s campaign is broken!

Posted by: artisanal 'ette: TGIF! at November 20, 2015 05:54 PM (qCMvj)

244 Bacon and eggs? Terrific really terrific. Every Sunday Melania and I sit down to breakfast and I always always have bacon and eggs. Melania of course has fruit. I know I know I could lose a little weight maybe? Probably. But bacon and eggs. An American breakfast. Really fabulous.

Posted by: ginaswo at November 20, 2015 05:55 PM (qxNrP)

245 Marco Rubio. Loves cheerleaders and money. Who doesn't. He should get his own. Bought!

Posted by: ThunderB at November 20, 2015 05:55 PM (zOTsN)

246 ace -- good blogger, great guy. Easily distracted though. Won't hang out in the comments for long!

Posted by: Harry Paratestes at November 20, 2015 05:56 PM (AkOaV)

247 Frank Luntz: This guy is so bad. He stacks his, what do you call them? Focus group? Whatever. He's a loser. I'm up 13 in Reuters. Luntz is fat.

Posted by: LuntzDunce#36 at November 20, 2015 05:56 PM (Uq9ly)

248 What's with this Jarod guy? Eats subs, loses weight discovers young girls. Total loser. I've got hotels, huge hotels that have been standing longer then he's gonna spend in jail.
Gitmo. Got a lease. When I get through Castro will pay me to keep it open. And pay for the wall and shark moat I'll put around it. Real sharks, huge sharks. You won't need a bigger boat, you'll need a bigger island.
What's with Hillary and the green dress? She looked like Fidel in drag. The Cubans have some great classic cars. Use 'em every day. Day after day.

Posted by: se pa moron at November 20, 2015 05:56 PM (7v/r5)

249 Chitlins! Not classy. Damn things taste like pigshit. Like they were pig entrails. Or something.

Posted by: Eromero at November 20, 2015 05:56 PM (b+df9)

250 China. It's bad, folks. I've been there. There isn't a single letter H in the entire country. It's a problem. Try singing Christmas carols with an H. It doesn't work. Good food though!

Posted by: Dack Thrombosis at November 20, 2015 05:57 PM (4ErVI)

251 Megyn Kelly is a disgusting "reporter". I turn the sound down when she's on and the show gets better, believe me. If she didn't have that Barry White voice, I wouldn't kick her out of bed!

Posted by: trickamsterdam at November 20, 2015 05:58 PM (kfZE0)

252 Michelle Obamas lunch program. Terrible. Just awful. Inedible. Ever notice only fat people diet? Wookie!

Posted by: ThunderB at November 20, 2015 05:58 PM (zOTsN)

253 Dammit without an H.

Posted by: Dack Thrombosis at November 20, 2015 05:58 PM (4ErVI)

254 Kasich. Is that how you spell it? The mailman's kid. He's always the guy down at the end. What the fuck is he even doing here.

Posted by: tu3031 at November 20, 2015 05:58 PM (YFFpo)

255 Putin did ballet, I did Sarah Jessica Parker #STABLEMATES

Posted by: Donald Trump at November 20, 2015 05:58 PM (mcm0N)

256

Tweeting on a blog is... different. Tweeting can be time-consuming and constrictive. Blog tweeting is da bommb!

Posted by: artisanal 'ette: TGIF! at November 20, 2015 05:58 PM (qCMvj)

257 Jeb! Bush. Low energy. Soft. Not very smart.
And they say his father had a syntax problem. Republicans should have sent a Bill taxing condoms when Bill Clinton was president. Now there's a Sin Tax problem!

Posted by: Not Necessarily The Donald at November 20, 2015 05:58 PM (nbGZj)

258 Chris Matthews. Been on his show. Nice guy. Soft. Seems like the kind of guy who got beaten up a lot as a kid. But not enough to learn!

Posted by: Not Real Donald Trump at November 20, 2015 05:59 PM (dciA+)

259 Kasich is just a terrible, terrible person. Got a face that looks like a wadded up tissue and his head looks like a toilet brush. And what's with the constant moving thing? He makes Michael J. Fox look like a statue. Christoper Lloyd was great though in that movie, wasn't he?

Posted by: Dack Thrombosis at November 20, 2015 05:59 PM (4ErVI)

260 Kind of like talk like a pirate day arrrg.. You're fired!

Posted by: donna at November 20, 2015 06:00 PM (/dSsq)

261 Dogs? Who doesn't love dogs? Absolutely amazing animals. Unconditional love. Loyal. Protective. Everything you could want. Come to think of it you know whats strange. Something that I have never understood? The Koran bans dogs. Yes. Unbelievable. Absolutely terrible. And why? I mean why would anyone do that? Unbelievable. What kind of people don't like dogs?

Posted by: ginaswo at November 20, 2015 06:00 PM (qxNrP)

262 ace? big fan.....he loves me...he hates me....so what....he's an ewok...he looks like my hair...

Posted by: phoenixgirl, i was born a rebel at November 20, 2015 06:00 PM (0O7c5)

263 Hillary. Look. She's a nice person. I invited her to my wedding. But did you see her plan to beat ISIS? Come on?! She's too old and confused. Somebody call Kevorkian.

Posted by: Teh Donald at November 20, 2015 06:01 PM (REdlt)

264 Bernie Sanders: Larry David's funnier. And Larry David's not funny. Never did get him. I'm up 17 in Bloomberg.

Posted by: MaxMBJ at November 20, 2015 06:01 PM (Uq9ly)

265 Root causes. I don't care why some loser straps a bomb on his ugly wife and kills a police dog. Let Allah straighten out their butthurt. Kill ISIS now!

Posted by: Lizzy at November 20, 2015 06:01 PM (NOIQH)

266 lol phoenix girl.

Posted by: jewells45 at November 20, 2015 06:01 PM (5fvBZ)

267 ace -- good blogger, great guy. Easily distracted though. Won't hang out in the comments for long!
Posted by: Harry Paratestes at November 20, 2015 05:56 PM (AkOaV)

When does Ace write blog posts? Posts take time, especially with ewok fingers. Ace's posts are pulled from a Magic Hat!

Posted by: artisanal 'ette: TGIF! at November 20, 2015 06:01 PM (qCMvj)

268 I'd give Obama a lifetime golf membership at any of my resorts if he resigns. But he's a loser. Our greens keepers are disgusted by homosexual activities in the out-of-bounds areas!

Posted by: Fritz at November 20, 2015 06:01 PM (3tjn4)

269 Obama. Terrible President. Actually likes dogs...to eat.

Posted by: Not Necessarily The Donald at November 20, 2015 06:02 PM (nbGZj)

270 ace? Total loser, can't even get invited to the Conservative jorn-o-list for his talking points. Great Blog Software!

Posted by: Harry Paratestes at November 20, 2015 06:02 PM (AkOaV)

271 Rubio. Saw him last night on television. Smiling like the Steeplechase guy at Coney Island. Looked like a fucking idiot.

Posted by: tu3031 at November 20, 2015 06:02 PM (YFFpo)

272 Jeb Bush. Guy's like a Vienna Sausage. I mean, nobody wants a Vienna Sausage. They'll eat them if they have to. Disgusting!

Posted by: naturalfake at November 20, 2015 06:03 PM (0cMkb)

273 obama wants his face on the 20? i say why not....i wipe my ass with 20's

Posted by: phoenixgirl, i was born a rebel at November 20, 2015 06:03 PM (0O7c5)

274 The Obama Doctrine. What is it? Does anybody know? I think it means "lose slowly", only it hasnt been so slow lately. Paris!

Posted by: ThunderB at November 20, 2015 06:03 PM (zOTsN)

275 my low lying fruit got retweeted, yay
Kars for Kids? Good Charity, always on the radio. But kids can't drive. Let me tell you, Trump has the most cars.Drives well!

Posted by: joe-impeachin44 at November 20, 2015 06:03 PM (AWe5n)

276 This post. Funny post. I sense jealousy but hey, Ace is a good guy, I'll let it slide.

At least I'm not asking for everyone's numbers that are making fun of me here like Hillary did to that poor comedy club owner! Terrible woman, just awful. Bad for America!

Posted by: Donaldus Magnus at November 20, 2015 06:03 PM (hvf9s)

277 When does Ace write blog posts? Posts take time, especially with ewok fingers. Ace's posts are pulled from a Magic Hat!
Posted by: artisanal 'ette: TGIF! at November 20, 2015 06:01 PM (qCMvj)

Ace? His hash has been floating around the comments on this thread. Terrible hash though, barely gets you high!

Posted by: Harry Paratestes at November 20, 2015 06:03 PM (AkOaV)

278 George Clooney likes me, Melanka and his wife shop together.#NESPRESSO

Posted by: Donald Trump at November 20, 2015 06:03 PM (mcm0N)

279 ace? Total loser, can't even get invited to the Conservative jorn-o-list for his talking points. Great Blog Software!
Posted by: Harry Paratestes at November 20, 2015 06:02 PM (AkOaV)

bwahaha

Posted by: artisanal 'ette: TGIF! at November 20, 2015 06:03 PM (qCMvj)

280 260 Kind of like talk like a pirate day arrrg.. You're fired!
Posted by: donna at November 20, 2015 06:00 PM (/dSsq)

Better than talk like Shakespeare day. That was terrible. Terrible! What was Ace thinking? Hobo-hunting.

Posted by: @votermom at November 20, 2015 06:04 PM (cbfNE)

281 This post. Funny post. I sense jealousy but hey, Ace is a good guy, I'll let it slide. And hey who can blame him, my life is pretty fantastic!

At least I'm not asking for everyone's numbers that are making fun of me here like Hillary did to that poor comedy club owner! Terrible woman, just awful. Bad for America!

Posted by: Donaldus Magnus at November 20, 2015 06:04 PM (hvf9s)

282

Most t-shirts are made in China. I wish I had an Ace t-shirt. Two Weeks!

Posted by: artisanal 'ette: TGIF! at November 20, 2015 06:04 PM (qCMvj)

283 I just watched a Trump speech online. The guy is an absolute master populist.

Posted by: Herr Morgenholz at November 20, 2015 06:05 PM (EUMr7)

284 282

Most t-shirts are made in China. I wish I had an Ace t-shirt. Two Weeks!

Posted by: artisanal 'ette: TGIF! at November 20, 2015 06:04 PM (qCMvj)
i used to want a t shirt....then i lost my ampersands...now i just want my ampersands

Posted by: phoenixgirl, i was born a rebel at November 20, 2015 06:05 PM (0O7c5)

285 Someone should infuse some Sharpton. Infuse some Sharpton!!!????

Posted by: Clarney at November 20, 2015 06:06 PM (xInLn)

286 Megyn Kelly may have been a ten when she was younger. You lose points when you get older, it happens. You also lose points when you do a disgusting, biased tv show- that doesn't have to happen. The point is she is no longer a ten!

Posted by: trickamsterdam at November 20, 2015 06:06 PM (kfZE0)

287 Obama's priorities. Spends every weekend golfing with 'the boys'. Meets with Joint Chiefs maybe every two weeks. My 8 year old has a better short game!

Posted by: Lizzy at November 20, 2015 06:06 PM (NOIQH)

288 All my wives are fabulous decorators!#NEO-DAGO

Posted by: Donald Trump at November 20, 2015 06:06 PM (mcm0N)

289 Russia says over 500 air strikes, nothing in MSM in US...Probably Obama doesn't approve of them...think of the women and children.

Posted by: Colin at November 20, 2015 06:06 PM (8BlfF)

290 65 Buzzion, one of the greats. We all miss him. Went too young. Like Lynnyrd Skynnyrd. Freebird!

Posted by: Not Real Donald Trump at November 20, 2015 05:15 PM (dciA+)

And like them I still perform

Posted by: buzzion at November 20, 2015 06:07 PM (zt+N6)

291 Poop swastika. Racism? I know people who met the dog. He's tremendous. Good thing he isn't a Rottweiler. The smear would have been YYYUUUGE!

Posted by: Harry Ballsagna at November 20, 2015 06:07 PM (hSeST)

292 Bernie Sanders. Hey, you kids get off my lawn. I'm sorry, that's what I think every time I see him. Cranky old communist..

Posted by: tu3031 at November 20, 2015 06:07 PM (YFFpo)

293 Ace? His hash has been floating around the comments on this thread. Terrible hash though, barely gets you high!
Posted by: Harry Paratestes at November 20, 2015 06:03 PM (AkOaV)

Libertarians are live loose, and free. I suppose some Libertarians smoke hash. Vote Rand Paul!

Posted by: artisanal 'ette: TGIF! at November 20, 2015 06:07 PM (qCMvj)

294 Paul Lynde: I knew him. I could imitate his fruity voice when I was 14. But let me tell you, if I had run that show no way he sitting in the center square, believe me. Rip Taylor, maybe. Not Paul Lynde.

Posted by: MaxMBJ at November 20, 2015 06:07 PM (Uq9ly)

295 In seriousness, according to Scott Adams (creator of Dilbert), there's method and science behind what Trump's doing. Check his blog. (And Ace, you've done very well at it.)

Posted by: Chip Diller at November 20, 2015 06:08 PM (GWySV)

296 FDR. Kind of a lame president. Truman started out selling hats. He was the bomb.

Posted by: Bertram Cabot Jr. at November 20, 2015 06:08 PM (FkBIv)

297 >>>Most t-shirts are made in China. I wish I had an Ace t-shirt. Two Weeks!

Posted by: artisanal 'ette: TGIF! at November 20, 2015 06:04 PM (qCMvj)

i used to want a t shirt....then i lost my ampersands...now i just want my ampersands
Posted by: phoenixgirl, i was born a rebel at November 20, 2015 06:05 PM (0O7c5)
<<<

Winners wouldn't whine about ampersands. Come on. I'm a winner. Some people say I whine too much. And if I did whine about ampersands, I'd get them. Cuz I win.

Posted by: Teh Donald at November 20, 2015 06:09 PM (REdlt)

298 Benghazi. Still don't know where Obama and Hillary were while Americans fought and died.
Ambassadors' lives matter!

Posted by: Lizzy at November 20, 2015 06:09 PM (NOIQH)

299

its a very effective way of rapid communication

Cruz should take note

Posted by: ThunderB at November 20, 2015 06:09 PM (zOTsN)

300 Obama's birth certificate: So they tell me it's just some Photoshop hack. Is that true? Who knows? I didn't know they even had Photoshop in Kenya.

Posted by: MaxMBJ at November 20, 2015 06:10 PM (Uq9ly)

301 Climate change? It's called seasons. Buy a winter coat FFS. Focus on the real threat: ISIS!

Posted by: Lizzy at November 20, 2015 06:11 PM (NOIQH)

302 They actually might make a good combination-Trump and Cruz-Totaly different communication styles.

Posted by: FenelonSpoke at November 20, 2015 06:11 PM (No/ki)

303 Bernie Sanders. Now, there's a weird old guy. Thinks beautiful women want to kneel in front him. Give him blow jobs. Gets drunk a lot. Once I saw him all drunk banging a fire hydrant on Christmas Eve. Christmas Eve!

Posted by: naturalfake at November 20, 2015 06:11 PM (0cMkb)

304

Sometimes Ace links to groovy music. Music is good for the soul. Elvis Lives!

Posted by: artisanal 'ette: TGIF! at November 20, 2015 06:11 PM (qCMvj)

305 How about Kerry? Travels around the world on our dime, but does he ever say anything good about us? I wish the horse face would just stay in the barn.

Posted by: Skip at November 20, 2015 06:11 PM (KSdzX)

306 One American among dead in Mali.

Posted by: USA at November 20, 2015 06:12 PM (tfM+W)

307 I'm Batman.

Ok. I'm not really Batman. But he's got toys. I got toys. But my toys have gold plating. So Batman loses.

Posted by: Teh Donald at November 20, 2015 06:12 PM (REdlt)

308 Marco's a good speaker but his sense of humor is lacking a bit. Just a bit. I asked him to do the Say hello to my leetle friend thing and he was angry. It's not my fault he came over on a boat made out of a 1950s Chevy. Love the Cuban people though!

Posted by: Dack Thrombosis at November 20, 2015 06:12 PM (4ErVI)

309 For some reason, I started reading Trumpkus using Christopher Walken's voice in my head. And now I can't stop.

Posted by: CausticConservative at November 20, 2015 06:12 PM (5q6rm)

310 Just had dinner. Pork tenderloin. Very overrated cut of meat. No one is looking into this!

Posted by: Slapweasel (Cold1) (T) at November 20, 2015 06:13 PM (OQ9R7)

311 Paris, so sad. Terrorists must be kept out of #COCO CHANEL

Posted by: Donald Trump at November 20, 2015 06:14 PM (mcm0N)

312 Abraham Lincoln c. 1861-63 Trump style...

The south is so stupid. They can get rich staying in the Union. Wait till I hire Lee.

Simon Cameron keeps stealing things! Had to fire him. Loser!

Why does McClellan always go backwards? He said he was Napoleon!

McClellan is such a loser. Told me Lee had a five trillion men. Had to fire him twice!

Can someone find me a general? I just fired Hooker. He said he wanted to be dictator. He Lost!

At Gettysburg. Founders set up country for people. Jeff Davis is a hack. Will Build New Great America. #Winning

Posted by: William Eaton at November 20, 2015 06:14 PM (q52Ma)

313 John Kerry. Not a serious person I think. And what's with the white face. Is there a disease that makes you look like Martha Washington? It's a problem, ok? Not taken seriously!

Posted by: Dack Thrombosis at November 20, 2015 06:14 PM (4ErVI)

314 Over 300 posts about me. I'm good, right? Even when I'm not good, I'm good. All the other losers should take note!

Posted by: The Donald at November 20, 2015 06:15 PM (No/ki)

315 Ghandi, great guy. Made a lot of progress preaching non-violence. Unarmed when he was shot by some nut with a pistol. Not smart!

Posted by: Grimaldi at November 20, 2015 06:15 PM (Lj3vp)

316 Dack.. you're killing me here.

Posted by: jewells45 at November 20, 2015 06:16 PM (5fvBZ)

317 >>> For some reason, I started reading Trumpkus using Christopher Walken's voice in my head. And now I can't stop.

Sometimes...your brain just...gets STUCK
and there's nothing, LITERALLY, that you can do.

Posted by: fluffy at November 20, 2015 06:16 PM (AfsKp)

318 Kung-Fu : Dave Carradine. Great Show. He had some problems...But great show. Loved that show. Autoerotic Asphyxiation!

Posted by: Garrett at November 20, 2015 06:16 PM (DxKQL)

319 Scott Adams of Dilbert fame talks about Trump quite a bit on his blog. He talks about Trump being a master persuader , and I think he is really on to something.He talks about how
Trump is using the art of persuasion in his campaign. One of the posts was about the elite mocking him for speaking at something like a 4th grade level, and then not being able to understand his popularity. But by speaking as he does, a lot of the time the impacts are greater to the average person. It's really fascinating

Posted by: Confuzzled at November 20, 2015 06:17 PM (4JudN)

320 Marco Rubio's undocumented yacht. Is he running illegals in from Cuba? Drugs? On my yacht we call his yacht a life boat! For the crew!

Posted by: Fritz at November 20, 2015 06:18 PM (3tjn4)

321 Pelosi? Not a lot creeps me out. Pelosi creeps me out. She wants some decent work done, I'll give her the name of my guy. The best...

Posted by: tu3031 at November 20, 2015 06:18 PM (YFFpo)

322 my skin is orange? i eat a lot of carrots....what can i say?

Posted by: phoenixgirl, i was born a rebel at November 20, 2015 06:20 PM (0O7c5)

323 Jared Fogle. Former Subway spokesman. Now kiddie diddler in prison. Footlongs everyday!

Posted by: SMFH at November 20, 2015 06:20 PM (zyIlW)

324 This Ace guy. Low energy, then high energy. The software though, see the interface on that thing?

It's Friday. He should put up an open thread and go.

Posted by: se pa moron at November 20, 2015 06:21 PM (7v/r5)

325 Look at our First Lady. I know, I know. Sorry 'bout that. If I had a dog as ugly as Mooch, I'd shave it's ass and make it walk backwards!

Posted by: Hildebeest at November 20, 2015 06:26 PM (ZzKdu)

326 309 For some reason, I started reading Trumpkus using Christopher Walken's voice in my head. And now I can't stop.

Posted by: CausticConservative at November 20, 2015 06:12 PM (5q6rm)

Thanks. Thanks a lot. The pattern. Very similar. Identical, really!

Posted by: Pug Mahon at November 20, 2015 06:29 PM (RwwCT)

327 Rand Paul. I've known him for awhile. He's out there though. He once came to my office looking to fund a start up that makes bongs out of Nerf. No business running for president!

Posted by: Dack Thrombosis at November 20, 2015 06:29 PM (4ErVI)

328 15 years. Long time. 18-age of prostitute = prison term. That's tough enought!

Posted by: bjk at November 20, 2015 06:29 PM (x2rNW)

329 Megan Kelly. Follow the slime trail. Really bad hair.

Posted by: Ronster at November 20, 2015 06:30 PM (mUa7N)

330 Megyn Kelly. Bad reporter, hack journalist. And she's skinny. Normally that's not a problem, but she's really skinny. She looks like a chicken wishbone in a skirt. Horrible!

Posted by: Dack Thrombosis at November 20, 2015 06:31 PM (4ErVI)

331 #66 is classic. I am so stealing that. My vote for thread winner so far. But they're all funny. You guys are a stitch.

Posted by: Wind Breaker at November 20, 2015 06:33 PM (xtbpH)

332 Jenner's right. Men are gross. Never too late. Lop it off! Donna or Danielle?

Posted by: Caitlyn Jenner at November 20, 2015 06:35 PM (xU0ng)

333 Ace! What a guy, right? Working late on Friday. Nood!

Posted by: RedMindBlueState at November 20, 2015 06:37 PM (pLwjI)

334 The Bible. Great book. Lousy movie. Total flop!

Posted by: bjk at November 20, 2015 06:38 PM (x2rNW)

335 Omg my kids keep asking what I'm laughing about.

Posted by: Cathy at November 20, 2015 06:39 PM (Va9Q4)

336 Chris Christie. You know a lot of us are a little overweight, ok? We can admit it. But Chris, you've got a problem. It's yuge. And so are you. I couldn't hear anything he said at the debate because they kept firing up the defibrillator every time he started talking. Whose heart rate goes up just by talking? It's insane. And not good. But what a debate!

Posted by: Dack Thrombosis at November 20, 2015 06:42 PM (4ErVI)

337 Rachel Dolezal. I saw her on a channel called BET I think. What a loser. Really ugly. Really confused. I mean, I feel bad for her. Im sorry. Her hair dresser is tremendous!

Posted by: Harry Ballsagna at November 20, 2015 06:45 PM (hSeST)

338 The Twin Towers. Great buildings, really classy. But jet fuel doesn't melt steel beams, OK? Total joke!

Posted by: bjk at November 20, 2015 06:48 PM (x2rNW)

339 Chris Christie. He's fat, ok? I could hear him sweating at the debate. Tremendous venue though!

Posted by: Dack Thrombosis at November 20, 2015 06:51 PM (4ErVI)

340 Geraldo is a good friend, known him long time. Glad his daughter in Paris didn't get shot or wounded. Rivera, that's Mexican. See, some of my great friends are here legally and Mexican. The wall will be great. The great Trump wall.

Posted by: DailyDish at November 20, 2015 07:02 PM (vPSIa)

341 Hillary Clinton hasn't aged very well at all, she's all dried up, fat and and wrinkly and ugly. She can't find her wig or teeth in the morning, but her assistant Huma is kinda cute, and most likely gives great hummers!

Posted by: blogforce one at November 20, 2015 07:04 PM (JVBsW)

342 Peter Pan. Never grows up. Abducts kids. Just like Trump!

Posted by: THE big old fat guy at November 20, 2015 07:07 PM (uFW3M)

343 This is a new form. Call it Trumpku.

Posted by: Michael Haz at November 20, 2015 07:14 PM (x9jNY)

344 Mercedes station wagon. Terrific car, totally classy. But what's the point? It won't get you laid!

Posted by: bjk at November 20, 2015 07:15 PM (x2rNW)

345 The economy. I know the economy, totally fixable. I'll kick it's ass....twice! I also know Ben Carson (sly grin).

Posted by: OrsonSnow at November 20, 2015 07:21 PM (P4TB5)

346 I love my wife, but when I'm in the White House she'll be too old for me. Since I can't marry Ivanka, I think I'll have a beauty contest on TV for my future wife. It'll be huuuuge, highest ratings ever!

Posted by: Trumpadoodledoo at November 20, 2015 07:34 PM (GxhCK)

347 Database in mosques. What is the problem with that? It is going to come to this, morons. I'm lookin' at you, Baroque.

(I would totally vote Trump for this alone). Let's roll.

Posted by: ChristyBlinky, aging supermodel Redneck Queen at November 20, 2015 07:45 PM (Mopd7)

348 "If you follow Trump on Twitter, you see he has a specific style of messaging. The formula is Brief Opening Thought, Vague Elaboration, and then a Brief Summary With an Exclamation Point!"

And people call him a clown. He knows what he's doing. A master salesman.

Posted by: Misfortune & Pestilence at November 20, 2015 07:55 PM (C+Q5F)

349 The Dude, the guy abides. Bowls with Rosanne's husband and that funny looking guy. Shame about the rug. Tied the while room together. Fuck'in Germans.

Posted by: Mose at November 20, 2015 08:48 PM (bgKtr)

350 Ace of Spades HQ. Solid blog. Site owner sleeps too late, though. Nothing written before noon!

Posted by: lolgoats at November 20, 2015 08:53 PM (7l0Lm)

351 Ben Carson. Nice guy, pretty smart. Always looks like he's about to sneeze. Low energy, and once tried to shank a friend. Pathological!

Posted by: lolgoats at November 20, 2015 08:55 PM (7l0Lm)

352 "I like this joke."

i thought jokes were supposed to be funny?

Posted by: redc1c4 at November 20, 2015 08:55 PM (YBR3Y)

353 Heinrich Himmler. Looked vaguely Asian. Liked chickens, Jews not so much. Suicide is for faggots!

Posted by: lolgoats at November 20, 2015 08:57 PM (7l0Lm)

354 Golf. Obama plays golf. On mediocre golf courses that are not as amazing as mine. Obama would be good at golf.....if he had balls.

Posted by: Lower Class person whose opinions need to be guided at November 20, 2015 09:07 PM (3ZttN)

355 Mali. Great place to vacation. They need a Trump hotel badly, though. The Radisson sucks!

Posted by: lolgoats at November 20, 2015 09:13 PM (7l0Lm)

356 Rich. I'm very rich. I can make you rich. A big pile of money!

Posted by: Willy at November 20, 2015 09:23 PM (ersJc)

357 This is a beautiful blog. Such a beautiful blog! Always on target. And then you look at this piece of shit over here. You see what I mean? Is that a glorious piece of shit or what? It's so fucking glorious, but they're talking out of their ass. Gimme a break. They had every chance this blog here had...but they screwed up. They totally fucking screwed it up. I love 'em but God they really fucked up.

Posted by: Corona at November 20, 2015 09:24 PM (tWUja)

358 This blog. Lousy for news. Rips off Hot Air for that. Great comments, the best commenters on the intertubes!

Posted by: Bret at November 20, 2015 09:25 PM (ZzKdu)

359 Like Ace's place. Deep sometimes racy too. Not sure about elbows. Though!!!

Posted by: Baldy at November 20, 2015 09:36 PM (sEXjW)

360 Neal Armstrong? Walked on Moon! Loser - should have built a casino and waited for the Chinese to land. Money!

Posted by: Algore at November 20, 2015 09:46 PM (w1eL+)

361 Nancy Pelosi: Strange lady. What is she, 70? 75? Getting up there, that's for sure. Reminds me of Mary Tyler Moore who, I gotta tell ya, is a whole lot better looking that the chopping woman. She makes these chopping motions with her hands. Haven't you noticed? Chops the air. Scares me, that's for sure.

Posted by: Xerxes at November 20, 2015 10:09 PM (Uq9ly)

362 It's like a new haiku form - trump-ku

Posted by: venus velvet at November 20, 2015 10:16 PM (g94P/)

363 They're forming this superPAC just to attack me, and they're saying John Kasich will be the "tip of their spear"; I don't know how this is supposed to benefit them. I mean, the guy's a loser, a real low-class slob. This is the face of their campaign? They call him the tip of their spear? I say he's just the tip.

How's that for a slogan? Kasich 2016: Just The Tip.

How does this get them anywhere, except for a few hundred million dollars poorer between them?

Posted by: Prothonotary Warbler... Trump/Camacho 2016! at November 20, 2015 10:38 PM (0OG8D)

364 oh the "bad hair" thing... I'm going to steal that for my own joke... that's good

another one I have to steal is someone's upthread who tossed out "Bad for America." So good.

I'm stealing those for my own.

Posted by: Not Real Donald Trump at November 20, 2015 10:39 PM (dciA+)

365 Lace wigs? No, my hair is real. Really, touch it! See? I'll tell you who needs a lace wig, though. That Hillary! She could use a lace wig. It'd draw attention away from that face. Can a wig cackle? We'd find out, I bet. Tell ya what; I'll buy a few and send them to Hillary. Huma can put 'em on her.

Posted by: Urban Farm Girl at November 20, 2015 10:40 PM (NiWjZ)

366 >>>The Bible. Great book. Lousy movie. Total flop! -- bjk

great one.

Posted by: Not Real Donald Trump at November 20, 2015 10:43 PM (dciA+)

367 Someone threatened Chris Christie on a train. Threatened him with what? Steamed broccoli? Lose weight!

Posted by: Not Real Donald Trump at November 20, 2015 10:46 PM (dciA+)

368 Cat litter. It's a national catastrophe! The Persians, the Himalayans, the Siamese - leaving trash everywhere all over this great country. BORDER PAWTROL!

Posted by: Birdeye at November 20, 2015 11:05 PM (07LZ7)

369 Jesus is the best

Posted by: camel toe at November 20, 2015 11:08 PM (dxWzu)

370 I personally believe Montac, may be gay.... Just saying, not saying I know anything for fact.

Posted by: camel toe at November 20, 2015 11:10 PM (dxWzu)

371 Holy Hell, Ace...you just created the PERFECT drinking game.

Bravo.

Posted by: BlaxPac at November 20, 2015 11:10 PM (tL0rn)

372 Not to mention, it's 100% nonpartisan...as long as you have a sense of humor.

No matter if you like the guy or not...

Posted by: BlaxPac at November 20, 2015 11:12 PM (tL0rn)

373 Who the hell here does not like camel toe?

Posted by: camel toe at November 20, 2015 11:14 PM (dxWzu)

374 I bought a Kershaw 00350 txz (no serrations) something or not. Zero dark 30 I believe.

Posted by: camel toe at November 20, 2015 11:18 PM (dxWzu)

375 Zero tolerance, now I remember.

Kershaw

Arriving tomorrow.

USPS

Posted by: camel toe at November 20, 2015 11:20 PM (dxWzu)

376 CNN, total propaganda! Met Ted Turner, not all there anymore! Wolf Blitzer -- functionally retarded!

Posted by: Not Real Donald Trump at November 20, 2015 11:23 PM (dciA+)

377 The Game:

Each person has a turn to do the cadence; others vote majority wins if they really did it. Loser takes a drink.

But you have to be *REALLY* honest about it.

More importantly, you can only use only the BEST, expensive Spirit or beer you can afford. None of those pu$$y, pink umbrella fruit salad garnish.

Don't use the bargain-basement stuff, you'd just cheapen it.

Posted by: BlaxPac at November 20, 2015 11:56 PM (tL0rn)

378 LTC Allen West. Great guy. Smart guy. Patriot. Smartest guy in the room. Endorses Fiorina. What's up with that? Snarly!

Posted by: Doubting Thomasina at November 21, 2015 12:20 AM (tSTeR)

379 @378

I dunno...I was thinking it should end "That face!"

Posted by: Grimaldi at November 21, 2015 01:23 AM (Lj3vp)

380 And now I'm the last one standing. I'm the last one here, the last one left. And I always am, because it's in my nature, to be in the thick of things, fighting until the last shot is fired- to fire the last shot, actually. I fire the first shot, and I fire the last shot, and let me tell you, I don' t miss when I fire my shots. Everyone else is firing all over the place, bing, bang, blammo, shooting out the lights, shooting out the windows, shooting out their eyes- Not me. I never miss a shot. What I aim at, I hit- Boom! Bullseye, every time! ...Ace, well, I think he's got a Red Ryder BB gun- and one eye...or so I've heard...

Posted by: Donald Hates Ace at November 21, 2015 04:31 AM (2Hkbk)

381 Funniest comments ever. The wife & I haven't laughed so hard in ages! Thanks to all.

Posted by: Cee3po'ed at November 21, 2015 10:01 AM (ofmt0)

382 Woodrow Wilson. Great guy. Unbelievable racist though. On #BLM shit list. Can't let lo-info losers know cray-cray herstory of d-crap party. Expunge.

Posted by: Dildocks at November 21, 2015 01:20 PM (xryAj)

383 Yeah. Pretty much nails it.

Alternative headline: "Why Cruz will be our next President".

Posted by: Aarradin at November 22, 2015 01:58 AM (E1dWk)

384 @383 - Gentlemen's bet you're fucking wrong.

Posted by: mossomo at November 22, 2015 04:03 AM (mYFHC)

385 I have a fighting knife.

Posted by: If u are gay at November 24, 2015 10:24 PM (XJ7xV)

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