When The Marathon Runs Through Deliverance - [Niedermeyer's Dead Horse]

This is perhaps the greatest thing I've ever seen on Twitter.

Enjoy it. Savor it. Make it last, because I don't see any content whatsoever in the queue.

When your race goes through Deliverance. pic.twitter.com/nOSkzjDvfX
— You had one job (@_youhadonejob) September 8, 2015

What's the greatest practical joke you've ever pulled, or wanted to pull?

Open thread.

UPDATE: Courtesy of Nip Sip, the long-form version

Posted by: Open Blogger at 10:43 AM

Comments

(Jump to bottom of comments)

1 I think that could have been about 30 miles from here. Also,first?

Posted by: BunkerinTheBurbs at September 12, 2015 10:44 AM (bA+CL)

2 When your race goes through Deliverance.

...keep going.

Posted by: t-bird at September 12, 2015 10:44 AM (FcR7P)

3 ha

Posted by: chemjeff - anti-Trump/anti-Jeb/pro-conservative/pro-beer/pro-Huskers at September 12, 2015 10:44 AM (2XMpf)

4 Why are people running in two different directions?

Posted by: BurtTC at September 12, 2015 10:46 AM (TOk1P)

5 Oh, and I'm pretty sure that was the first rule of the zombie apocalypse.

Cardio is king! If you can run, you can survive.

Posted by: BurtTC at September 12, 2015 10:47 AM (TOk1P)

6 Why are people running in two different directions?

IIRC, it was at a turnaround.

Posted by: Pappy O'Daniel at September 12, 2015 10:47 AM (oVJmc)

7 I think that could have been about 30 miles from here.

I remembered it was in Tennessee, found this:

http://tinyurl.com/otdc7n5

Posted by: t-bird at September 12, 2015 10:48 AM (FcR7P)

8 I love the "purty mouth" comment.

Posted by: Seems Legit at September 12, 2015 10:49 AM (Xa4vS)

9 Isn't there a group of these guys that do these sorts of skits at races? Is this them?

Posted by: buzzion at September 12, 2015 10:50 AM (zt+N6)

10 Hash House Harriers would both run the event, and staff that bandstand.
A drinking club, with a running problem.

Posted by: Stringer Davis at September 12, 2015 10:51 AM (xq1UY)

11 Heh, that sort of happened to hubby and me years ago - we were canoeing down the Shenandoah river and passed a dude on chair who switched what he was strumming to the Delievrance song and then laughed. We just ha ha'ed back, waved, and paddled faster.

Posted by: Lizzy at September 12, 2015 10:52 AM (NOIQH)

12 Unfortunately, Rick Perry got stumped by the very same question: "Why ya runnin'?"

Posted by: t-bird at September 12, 2015 10:52 AM (FcR7P)

13 I also love the "where y'all goin'?" comment

Posted by: Seems Legit at September 12, 2015 10:52 AM (Xa4vS)

14 Not a practical joke, really, but one of my favorite gags went like this:
An Officer from a different Battalion in my Battery lost a couple toes while mowing a lawn. When he returned to the Unit, everybody in my little wise-ass clique started carrying bags of Fritos with us all the time. Whenever we saw the Officer, we'd call out to each other "Hey, you got any "Free Toes"? "I sure love Free Toes, don't you?", "Man, don't you wish we could get some Free Toes around here?".
Lasted a day or two until we were told to give it a rest.

Posted by: Lincolntf at September 12, 2015 10:52 AM (2cS/G)

15 Now that's funny right there.

Posted by: TX ette at September 12, 2015 10:52 AM (sUJHF)

16 I remembered it was in Tennessee, found this:

http://tinyurl.com/otdc7n5

***

That's fantastic!

Posted by: Niedermeyer's Dead Horse at September 12, 2015 10:53 AM (PMlgt)

17 Wasn't this just up here t'other day?
http://tinyurl.com/ppknypq

After the whole dang world has gone PC, it will still be acceptable to mock
Mountain-Americans. Hell Geo Clooney did it, and he is one.

Posted by: Stringer Davis at September 12, 2015 10:54 AM (xq1UY)

18 Put this on the dead thread.

From iOTW, Muslim has a shit fit when woman puts her feet up on a seat. And the fucker's LOUD. That's so much a part of their indignation shtick.

http://tinyurl.com/pjmkq6r

Posted by: I am not a Trumpkin! at September 12, 2015 10:55 AM (hgBpU)

19 Battery in my Battalion, derp.

Posted by: Lincolntf at September 12, 2015 10:55 AM (2cS/G)

20 I just read on the previous thread:

Congrats, VBJonny! A new baby girl - welcome to this crazy world, Lorelei. You're in for quite a ride.

Getting ready to go visit my niece & Grand nephew in 1/2 hour, myself.
He should be turning one soon. Haven't seen him since last Christmas when he was fresh out of the oven...

Posted by: Chi at September 12, 2015 10:55 AM (gTnYz)

21 Why are people running in two different directions?

Bathrooms.

Posted by: BackwardsBoy at September 12, 2015 10:58 AM (LUgeY)

22 @14 Really, there's nothing more innately humorous than amputation, don't you think? Late friend of mine, ran a motorcycle shop, of course he'd lost a leg below the knee. His gait was so natural, you'd never notice. So when he'd hire a new kid, he'd put on an old spare leg, drop an engine block on the foot, and shrug it off. Just to break the new guy in.

And a Scout leader, would take the tenderfoots on their first 5-miler, yell "C'mere guys, I think I twisted my ankle!" And he'd have the foot turned backwards...

Posted by: Stringer Davis at September 12, 2015 10:58 AM (xq1UY)

23 I always wanted to do that gag where you replace a dude's main parachute with laundry. He'd still have a reserve so no sweat.

Posted by: fastfreefall at September 12, 2015 11:01 AM (imqkU)

24 Practical joke = machinists + tube of high spot blueing which is like grease with blue dye, used for checking fits between parts.

Suitable for application anywhere such as machine crank handles, eye loupes and telephone receivers.

Posted by: BackwardsBoy at September 12, 2015 11:02 AM (LUgeY)

25 Yeah, I don't think that happened at all. The lighting on the runners is not close to the lighting on the billies of hillness.

Posted by: Bandersnatch at September 12, 2015 11:02 AM (1xUj/)

26 That's fantastic!

And looking at all the pictures at the end of the article, them Bailey Bottom Boys was just havin' fun and people were having fun with them. The race director sounds like a retard.

Posted by: t-bird at September 12, 2015 11:03 AM (FcR7P)

27 It's old! The much longer YouTube video was on an ONT or somesuch a few months back.

Posted by: Roger Bannister at September 12, 2015 11:03 AM (xmE50)

28 that truck rocks.

Posted by: Chavez the Hugo at September 12, 2015 11:04 AM (ucDmr)

29
18 Put this on the dead thread.

From iOTW, Muslim has a shit fit when woman puts her feet up on a seat. And the fucker's LOUD. That's so much a part of their indignation shtick.

http://tinyurl.com/pjmkq6r
Posted by: I am not a Trumpkin! at September 12, 2015 10:55 AM (hgBpU)

If I were that lady, somebody would have gotten hurt on that train or tube or whatever....it might have been me that got the worst of it, but I would have made a scene that would have put his little snit fit to shame. I have gotten to the age that I just don't give a shit what anybody thinks. I *will* embarrass myself if I have to.

Posted by: TX ette at September 12, 2015 11:04 AM (sUJHF)

30 And looking at all the pictures at the end of the article, them Bailey Bottom Boys was just havin' fun and people were having fun with them. The race director sounds like a retard.

***

It seemed to me that the race officials were totally into it too. The link to the Tennessean article is pretty good too.

Posted by: Niedermeyer's Dead Horse at September 12, 2015 11:05 AM (PMlgt)

31
When The Marathon Runs Through AoSHQ:

LONGBOWS OR CROSSBOWS!!!!!!!!!!!!

Posted by: Bruce With a Wang! at September 12, 2015 11:06 AM (iQIUe)

32 I can neither confirm nor deny that I may have once filled and lightly pressurized a jerk's VW Bug with shaving cream.

What I can tell you is that I learned in high school through a chemistry teacher that if you dip a can of aerosol style shaving cream, then use tongs to peel away the metal, you are left with a nice little cylinder that will expand to several times its normal size when it finally heats back up.

And I can tell you the same professor told me five cans would fill and lightly pressurize a VW Bug.

Posted by: CLS at September 12, 2015 11:06 AM (cdiDN)

33 And looking at all the pictures at the end of the article, them Bailey Bottom Boys was just havin' fun and people were having fun with them. The race director sounds like a retard.

Posted by: t-bird at September 12, 2015 11:03 AM (FcR7P

He might be in the on joke. Or he might be one of those humorless scolds.

Posted by: buzzion at September 12, 2015 11:06 AM (zt+N6)

34 Back in the olden days, when people could do all sorts of shit without getting sued, pranking each other at work was pretty common.

Probably the best I ever did was hide the bike of a co-worker who was the biggest dick - got his job via friendship with another manager. Nobody liked him. He was consistently, without fail, the jerk of all times. We were always amazed at his ability to top his own douchebaginess.

Anyway, the creep rode a bike to work (no car in his 30's - total winner) so I hid it in one of the stockrooms. I let him runaround for 30 minutes before I finally told him where it was. He couldn't even find the damn bike - seriously, it wasn't that hard. Such a loser.

Posted by: I am not a Trumpkin! at September 12, 2015 11:06 AM (hgBpU)

35
When The Marathon Runs Through AoSHQ:

LONGBOWS OR CROSSBOWS OR SMOD OR DOOM!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Posted by: Bruce With a Wang! at September 12, 2015 11:07 AM (iQIUe)

36 re 32 "dip a can of aerosol style shaving cream in liquid nitrogen"

Posted by: CLS at September 12, 2015 11:07 AM (cdiDN)

37 I don't know if its real or just something someone wanted to do, but how about this for a practical joke for high schoolers. Release 4 animals like say a chicken in your school, with numbers written on them. Those numbers being 1, 2, 3, and 5.

Posted by: buzzion at September 12, 2015 11:09 AM (zt+N6)

38 Wait, recycling threads and no elbow threads so far this year?

ace's Val-U-Rite habit must be cutting into the operational budget.

Posted by: Burn the Witch at September 12, 2015 11:09 AM (Wckf4)

39 34: I would never had told that mewling quim where that bike was. He wasn't smart enough to figure out who did it, let the idiot walk.

Posted by: Chavez the Hugo at September 12, 2015 11:09 AM (ucDmr)

40 I have heard someone once removed ALL the lightbulbs from a college stadium's scoreboard, the night before the season's Big Game...... the officials thought it was an 'electrical' problem and played the game anyway.... the crowd had NO idea what was going on on the field....

Posted by: uh huh at September 12, 2015 11:09 AM (SxLqa)

41 that if you dip a can of aerosol style shaving cream

There are words missing. Is it frozen? In a fridge or do you need dry ice?

Posted by: t-bird at September 12, 2015 11:09 AM (FcR7P)

42 Lincolntf,
speaking of gags in the Army, one i did that still kills me to this day: i came out of a meeting at company HQ and told my platoon Sgt that being tthat we were well ahead with maintenance stuff, I volunteered the whole plt for ash n trash duty to help other platoons catch up. His cigarette fell out of his mouth and his face got beet red as his blood pressure spiked. He was getting ready to beat my ass when i said, "Haaaaah! Just kidding!" He got pissed for making him get pissed but later admitted it was a good prank. Best damn NCO and trainer any LT could ask for.

Posted by: fastfreefall at September 12, 2015 11:11 AM (imqkU)

43 Shaving cream in nitrogen trick sounds awesome.

We did a much lower-tech thing in the dorms for shaving cream wars. You stick a needle in the spout of the shaving cream can and hold a lighter around it until it melts down to the diameter of the needle.

Pull the needle out and you can fire shaving cream 20-30'.

Usually freshmen vs. sophs.

Posted by: Bandersnatch at September 12, 2015 11:11 AM (1xUj/)

44 I am a giver, the long version complete with dancing.

http://tinyurl.com/p6tbfsv

Posted by: Nip Sip at September 12, 2015 11:11 AM (0FSuD)

45 During my parents' New Years Eve party in 1999, I considered sneaking downstairs while everyone was watching the ball drop, and tripping all the circuit breakers at midnight to make everyone freak out about Y2K. But I was in my teens and didn't really know much about how such things worked, and was afraid of damaging the circuits or something if I did them all at once. So I backed out.

Should have done it. =)

Posted by: Dante at September 12, 2015 11:11 AM (MhcoS)

46 Pranking friends.

About 35 years ago (in college of course) , a friend of mine and I moved another friend's Triumph Spitfire across the parking lot one night. Two men could lift up the back end (defeat the parking brake and gear being set) and push it all over the place.

Boy, was he mad.

Posted by: Bossy Conservative....lost in America at September 12, 2015 11:11 AM (+1T7c)

47 Good gag for the Office?

Capture a screen shot of someone's Home screen. Set that image as their home page background. Go in and change settings to "Hide desktop icons".

Then, laugh and laugh......

Posted by: ManWithNoParty, unperson from Free Market Jesus Paradise at September 12, 2015 11:12 AM (cygkw)

48 I don't know if its real or just something someone wanted to do, but how about this for a practical joke for high schoolers. Release 4 animals like say a chicken in your school, with numbers written on them. Those numbers being 1, 2, 3, and 5.

****

Love it.

Posted by: Niedermeyer's Dead Horse at September 12, 2015 11:12 AM (PMlgt)

49 What I find amusing about the video is that it's Franklin, TN. For those unfamiliar, it's a rather hoity-toity community south of Nashville. Average home price in that area is about $400k.

Posted by: Country Singer at September 12, 2015 11:12 AM (nL0sw)

50 I've never watched Deliverance. Should I?

Posted by: @votermom at September 12, 2015 11:13 AM (cbfNE)

51 Some asshole in my freshman dorm "cooked" a dead bird in the lounge microwave and basically destroyed the dorm for a week with the stench. Nobody ever admitted to it, it was so bad.

Posted by: Lincolntf at September 12, 2015 11:14 AM (2cS/G)

52 votermom - true story. my first date as a teen was to take a girl to Deliverance. worst. date. choice. ever. she was even more na�ve than me, and at the after-soda I had to explain... things. see the movie, and you'll know why I still cringe to this day.

Posted by: uh huh at September 12, 2015 11:15 AM (SxLqa)

53 Does anybody in the race squeal like a pig?

Posted by: dantesed at September 12, 2015 11:15 AM (88xKn)

54 I am a giver, the long version complete with dancing.

http://tinyurl.com/p6tbfsv

***

Thanks. Updated.

I watched it a few days ago and LMAO

Posted by: Niedermeyer's Dead Horse at September 12, 2015 11:16 AM (PMlgt)

55 I don't know if its real or just something someone
wanted to do, but how about this for a practical joke for high
schoolers. Release 4 animals like say a chicken in your school, with
numbers written on them. Those numbers being 1, 2, 3, and 5.

Posted by: buzzion

One of my son's classmates in high school released some chickens at the high school as a graduation prank. The ensuing scenes of chasing them down was like something out of Benny Hill. He actually got arrested and was not allowed to graduate.
Talk about a massive loss of sense of humor. Jeeez.

Posted by: Bossy Conservative....lost in America at September 12, 2015 11:16 AM (+1T7c)

56 I knew an assistant fire chief in Wauseon. They got a boom-lift crane, and he had to do a safety instruction session in a classroom setting. When he came out, the guys had used the crane to park his car on top of the firehouse.

Posted by: Stringer Davis at September 12, 2015 11:16 AM (xq1UY)

57 I got Americans to elect Marxist - twice! Politburo, er I mean Cabinet still laughing from Crimean dachaus.

Posted by: Vlad at September 12, 2015 11:17 AM (hqjPT)

58 The best practical joke I can think of was pulled by film director John Huston. At the time, he was in Ireland with his film crew, filming "Moby Dick". Staying with him at the castle he's rented was the man who wrote the script, Ray Bradbury. One day, Huston arranged for a friend in LA to send a telegram to Bradbury, purportedly signed by the film's producer, Samuel Goldwyn, demanding that the script be rewritten to include a female love interest. Huston confessed what he'd done after he'd peeled Bradbury off the ceiling.

As a rule, I don't like practical jokes: they're cruel. But that one was funny.

Posted by: Brown Line at September 12, 2015 11:17 AM (a5bF3)

59 Wait, recycling threads and no elbow threads so far this year?

***

Recycling? What recycling?

Posted by: Niedermeyer's Dead Horse at September 12, 2015 11:18 AM (PMlgt)

60 ok...that right there...if funny

Posted by: phoenixgirl, i was born a rebel at September 12, 2015 11:18 AM (0O7c5)

61 I've never watched Deliverance. Should I?

Posted by: @votermom

do you like canoes? crossbows or longbows?

Posted by: Bossy Conservative....lost in America at September 12, 2015 11:19 AM (+1T7c)

62 Huston confessed what he'd done after he'd peeled Bradbury off the ceiling.

I believe Bradbury wrote about that whole experience, and wasn't fond of Houston.

Posted by: Pappy O'Daniel at September 12, 2015 11:20 AM (oVJmc)

63 27 It's old! The much longer YouTube video was on an ONT or somesuch a few months back.
Posted by: Roger Bannister at September 12, 2015 11:03 AM (xmE50)

We don't come here for the content, the content!

Posted by: Jimmy Two-Times at September 12, 2015 11:22 AM (sJuWI)

64 So after WWII there were a lot of veterans on the GI bill at NC State. NC State and UNC were and still are arch rivals.

The NCSU v UNC basketball game was being held in old Thompson Gym, it only held about 1500 people. It was packed, so the fire marshal kicked everyone out except the teams and their families.

Well, in the 40's fire alarms were a one time use deal, when you pulled the alarm it sent a message that printed out a tape of the location. Once used, it had to be reset. Like this......... http://tinyurl.com/pw584qd

The GIs at State pulled every fire alarm in Raleigh that night. EVERYONE. The fire marshal didn't show up at the next game.

Posted by: Nip Sip at September 12, 2015 11:22 AM (0FSuD)

65 Really, there's nothing more innately humorous than amputation, don't you think?

Ahh, bikers, prosthetics and alcohol were made to go together.

My first gig at a biker bar went something like this:

We played, no one applauded or even acted like we were there at all. Dejected we were. After the first set, we (band and SO's) gathered at a smaller outside bar that wasn't in use that day. Two guys, apparently inebriated, loudly made their way through us to the unmanned bar and started demanding drinks from a barkeep that wasn't there.

One pulled the other one back, saying, "I was here first." His buddy pulled him back saying he was first. They started pushing on each other, yelling, then squared off against each other.

All this going on within reach of most of us.

Well, one guy pulls out a Bowie knife and threatens the other guy with it. Cuss words were exchanged and Bowie Knife Guy rears back and jams it into the other guy's shin so it's sticking out unassisted.

You could've heard a pin drop. We all thought we were going to meet our Maker right then and there.

The two guys stood there for what seemed like 10 minutes, ready to go at each other, with that knife still sticking out of one's leg. While they were standing there, I noticed that the guy with the knife sticking out of him isn't bleeding. I thought to myself, "Hmm, either he's the baddest mofo I've ever seen, or that's not a real leg."

Sure enough, they couldn't contain themselves and broke into laughter as they hugged each other and pulled the knife out of the one guy's leg. They bought us all drinks and we were best buds with them for the rest of the afternoon. The guy had stepped on a land mine in VN and rode away on a scooter instead of a Harley.

They still didn't applaud, but said they really liked us and our music.

My kind of people...

Posted by: BackwardsBoy at September 12, 2015 11:22 AM (LUgeY)

66 Totally OT, but is it racist to hate Latin music?
I'm sitting in my office across the street from a softball field, and apparently, it's pre-game prep for all the players to arrive in their Toyotas and Hondas with the most annoying, obnoxious, repetitious music blasting out of their cars at ear-shattering volume. And during the game itself, it continues. Why?
What's wrong with the sound of the crack of the bat and applause?
I'm open to all kinds of music--except hip-hop and Latin music. So am I a racist?

Posted by: JoeF. at September 12, 2015 11:22 AM (cnd0E)

67 @58 You're gonna mess around and get MP3 in here, and then we'll all get one-upped. But, Cecil B DeMille, set up the Migration walk for Ten Commandments, the longest, highest-population shot in film history. And he was very persnickety about it. Thousands of native extras, camera crews up in the hills, radio co-ordination, the works. And finally he calls Action!, and the Twelve Tribes parade past, with animals, carts, palm fronds, and receded into the dusty distance.

Whereupon his chief of cinematography comes bailing up in his Jeep, and yells, "Ready when you are, C.B.!"

Gave him a heart attack.

Posted by: Stringer Davis at September 12, 2015 11:22 AM (xq1UY)

68 Posted by: Chavez the Hugo at September 12, 2015 11:09 AM (ucDmr)

Heh. I had to. I was the closing manager and it was time to leave the store.

One day I was in the warehouse talking to a couple of the guys, and up he comes. That song Maneater by Hall & Oates was playing on the loudspeakers and he says, "Hey, they're playing your song." Yuk-yuk-yuk. We all turned to look at the dink and I said, "Maneater, something you'll never know."

Needless to say the guys all started laughing at him. And it was loud laughter. The story was repeated to everyone who came in the warehouse, and was much appreciated.

Then the next day he did something else equally as stupid, I'm sure. The guy never learned, never.

Posted by: I am not a Trumpkin! at September 12, 2015 11:22 AM (hgBpU)

69
Nothing of interest in the Queue?

Woof.

President Barry "Cicero's Traitor" Soetoro has brought us more fun than you can shake a bowl of popcorn at, and the fine minds want to discuss practical jokes.

Must be a weekend.

Posted by: GBruno at September 12, 2015 11:23 AM (u49WF)

70 I've never watched Deliverance. Should I?

Posted by: @votermom

Of course you should. It's a fine expression of the majesty of the outdoors framed by enchanting folk music.

Posted by: Country Singer at September 12, 2015 11:25 AM (nL0sw)

71 I've never watched Deliverance. Should I?

Posted by: @votermom at September 12, 2015 11:13 AM (cbfNE)

NO! One of the worst movies - even though you really have to see it to fully appreciate the historical references.

Posted by: I am not a Trumpkin! at September 12, 2015 11:26 AM (hgBpU)

72 Being a newly minted Christian, it would hack me off when the guys in the dorm room next door would play "Sympathy for the Devil" at 1am and bounce my head off the pillow.

I had built a set of transmission line speakers for engineering credit and in testing found that the dorm room resonated at 38Hz. As the dorm rooms were the same size, every room resonated at 38Hz.

The dorm was co-ed by floor. When they would wake us up, I hooked up the Heathkit signal generator and shook the whole dorm for 30 seconds.

The girls from the 2nd and 4th floors would converge on our floor looking for the loud stereo. They would kick the living crap out of the guys door. "You motherf'ing GD assholes! Turn it down!!!!" They would then sic the RA (resident adviser) on them.

If that failed, we knew that the building fuses were 15A per block of rooms. Ours was split electrically, but we shared a fuse on one side of the room with the guys next door. Two 10 Amp hot plates on that side did the trick and then they would have to find the RA to unlock the fuse box. When they asked us engineers next door why the fuse kept blowing we told them: "huh, your stereo must have been too loud"

We would go back to our room and snicker "heh, business majors"

Posted by: AE at September 12, 2015 11:27 AM (+ft6G)

73
When this OLD vid came up in the sidebar, I chuckled through most of it.....until they "kidnapped" a runner near the end. That got me LOLing.

Posted by: IllTemperedCur at September 12, 2015 11:27 AM (o98Jz)

74 37 I don't know if its real or just something someone wanted to do, but how about this for a practical joke for high schoolers. Release 4 animals like say a chicken in your school, with numbers written on them. Those numbers being 1, 2, 3, and 5.
Posted by: buzzion at September 12, 2015 11:09 AM (zt+N6)

I'm pretty sure that's been done.

Once I knew a guy who worked at a very small local radio station. They bought a car to use to go out and cover local events. They painted it up all nice with the station's logo and such. At his suggestion, they put a "3" on one front fender and a "7" on the other.

Posted by: rickl at September 12, 2015 11:28 AM (sdi6R)

75 Also, I think guys always play the best practical jokes. Nothing can top having testosterone to think up the truly bizarre.

Posted by: I am not a Trumpkin! at September 12, 2015 11:28 AM (hgBpU)

76 O there are worse first dates than Deliverance. I was going to impress this girl with my classical background. You got it: "Caligula." Bob.Guccione's.Caligula.

Dear Penthouse Diary:

Posted by: Stringer Davis at September 12, 2015 11:28 AM (xq1UY)

77

OT any word on the Arizona highway sniper? Yesterday they had a man in custody for questioning. Nothing since? Was he released? Any news from AZ morons?

Posted by: ThunderB at September 12, 2015 11:29 AM (zOTsN)

78 A friend and I were up late one saturday night in our high school days, trippin' on LSD. We came across a church with a sign outside that said "Come join us for Sunday worship". We changed it to "Come join us for porn".

Posted by: model_1066 at September 12, 2015 11:31 AM (WEvvb)

79
Deliverance is an excellent movie and book. Go ahead -- I bet you will then cut the sleeves off all your shirts.

Posted by: Bruce With a Wang! at September 12, 2015 11:32 AM (iQIUe)

80 ***"Recycling? What recycling?"***

I thought one of the other cobs posted this last weekend or thereabouts.

Not that I really have a problem with it, I was just using it as an excuse to lament the lack of elbows of late.

Posted by: Burn the Witch at September 12, 2015 11:32 AM (Wckf4)

81
A guy I used to work with was a terror around other people's computers. One of his favorites was to get into Windows and change your language settings, usually to Chinese or Russian.

Posted by: IllTemperedCur at September 12, 2015 11:33 AM (o98Jz)

82 If all those shots were on I-17, 15 miles north of Phoenix, that would be the Ben Avery Shooting Facility and some range engineer is about to lose his job.

Posted by: Stringer Davis at September 12, 2015 11:34 AM (xq1UY)

83 I cant believe any of you wd criticize Deliverance. Unfortunately, even tho it still got a high rating on imdb, it shd be higher. Old films never get justice rating wise b/c you worthless young ins dont know nuffin!

Posted by: Bruce With a Wang! at September 12, 2015 11:35 AM (iQIUe)

84 We in the office once had a boss who wore a rain hat to the office every day (I think it was a plaid Totes).
Anyway, he would come in every day and put it on the rack.
We replaced it daily with a series of identical hats, only in progressively smaller sizes.
You should have seen him, by the end of the week, trying to cram that thing on his head as he went home.

Posted by: navybrat at September 12, 2015 11:35 AM (ETxiG)

85
The latest hashtag is

#PregnancyForAll

lol!

Posted by: Bruce With a Wang! at September 12, 2015 11:35 AM (iQIUe)

86 66
I'm open to all kinds of music--except hip-hop and Latin music. So am I a racist?
Posted by: JoeF. at September 12, 2015 11:22 AM (cnd0E)

Yes.

Posted by: Heb! at September 12, 2015 11:36 AM (sdi6R)

87 I was on a business trip many years ago to one of our plants with my boss. I talked him into going to a strip club. After one particular lovely young lady had finished her act, I told my boss I was going to the can. But I actually intercepted the dancer on her way back to the dressing room. I told her it was my dad's 50th birthday, handed her a five, and asked if she would give him a big birthday kiss.

A couple minutes later she came out to the bar sans everything but a g-string. She got my attention and I pointed to my boss sitting next to me. She tapped on his shoulder, wrapped her body around him, planted a big one full on his lips and said cheerily, "Happy birthday, Dad!"

Posted by: bergerbilder at September 12, 2015 11:37 AM (+jijM)

88 "Deliverance" was written by poet laureate and ex-Clemson football player James Dickey. That grumpy sheriff who tells the guys "Don't evah come up heah no more" is played by James Dickey. And that's a pretty good practical joke right there.

Posted by: Stringer Davis at September 12, 2015 11:37 AM (xq1UY)

89 Put me down with the Deliverance Is A Good Movie crowd.

Then again, I've got pretty low standards for movies.

Posted by: Burn the Witch at September 12, 2015 11:37 AM (Wckf4)

90 One thing to remember about Deliverance. Ned Beatty Had The Hardest Part.

https://youtu.be/j1KZOApOVlg

Posted by: buzzion at September 12, 2015 11:38 AM (zt+N6)

91 e latest hashtag is

#PregnancyForAll

lol!
Posted by: Bruce With a Wang! at September 12, 2015 11:35 AM (iQIUe)

***

Godfrey Elfwick will be missed.

Posted by: ManWithNoParty, unperson from Free Market Jesus Paradise at September 12, 2015 11:38 AM (cygkw)

92
Narcos had very good latin music. Srugim, the Israeli tv show I watched also had excellent music at the end of each episode.

I hate hip hop - violent and vulgar.

Posted by: Bruce With a Wang! at September 12, 2015 11:39 AM (iQIUe)

93 The latest hashtag is

#PregnancyForAll

lol!

We had a secretary in one shop named Nancy who started dating the president of the company's son. In three months she was pregnant.

One day, the foreman and I changed the sign on her office door to read "Preg-Nancy."

She was good natured about it, thank goodness.

Posted by: BackwardsBoy at September 12, 2015 11:40 AM (LUgeY)

94 Practical jokes:

Back in the day, officers and higher ranking NCOs used to, upon entering a building, set their field caps down wherever they felt like it.

I made a habit of swiping them.

Generally I would discard the caps, and keep the rank pins. I still have a bunch of them, to this day.

My prized possession? A chaplain's pin. A nice gold cross.

Posted by: BurtTC at September 12, 2015 11:41 AM (TOk1P)

95 Confession here: I recycle. My city gives free pickup for recycle materials. Have to pay $3 for a sticker for everything else (including grass clippings and leaves).

Going to any of the local rivers, seeing ducks and geese (and I hate the Canadian geese with the heat of a thousand suns) trapped in the six-pack plastic and fouled nets also makes me use kitchen shears to cut up the six-pack plastic before putting it in the trash.

So there. I'm an AOSHQ heretic.

Posted by: mustbequantum at September 12, 2015 11:42 AM (MIKMs)

96 Posted by: navybrat at September 12, 2015 11:35 AM (ETxiG)

We had a guy on the ship that was busting his ass dieting and working out to get back into height/weight standards and he was making great progress. Of course, a few of our guys were compelled to mess with him. Every two or three days, they'd trim about 1/8th of an inch off his dungaree belt. This was working great until one of the guys got a little scissor-happy and cut about two inches off at one time.

Posted by: Country Singer at September 12, 2015 11:43 AM (nL0sw)

97 Posted by: BurtTC at September 12, 2015 11:41 AM (TOk1P)

I don't think that's a prank. Just kleptomania.

Posted by: @votermom at September 12, 2015 11:44 AM (cbfNE)

98 Just watched the Dueling Banjos scene from Deliverance. The alien kid really kicks ass.

Posted by: Burn the Witch at September 12, 2015 11:45 AM (Wckf4)

99 Mattress exchange day when I was in tech school in the Air Force. We had linen exchange day, when you turned in your old bed linens to the laundry, but I convinced a bunch of newbies fresh out of basic training that it was mattress exchange day. Our barracks NCO took about an hour to realize there were mattresses piling up in front of the barracks for some reason, and we'd almost finished the third floor. Totally worth it.

Posted by: Zoomie at September 12, 2015 11:45 AM (3l9k4)

100 So there. I'm an AOSHQ heretic.

Posted by: mustbequantum at September 12, 2015 11:42 AM (MIKMs)

I put recyclables in the correct bin (usually) because they are bulky, and tend to rip trashbags if tossed in with the normal stuff.

I pay for recycling whether I want to or not, but I have no illusions about the fact that almost all of it ends up in the same landfill as the other trash.

Posted by: BurtTC at September 12, 2015 11:45 AM (TOk1P)

101 I thought the video was dumb after about 10 seconds. Yeah, we get it. Also, having lived in the South, I find the Deliverance references stupid. The best people I've ever met were rednecks.

Posted by: rrpjr at September 12, 2015 11:46 AM (s/yC1)

102 Just watched the Dueling Banjos scene from Deliverance. The alien kid really kicks ass.

Posted by: Burn the Witch at September 12, 2015 11:45 AM (Wckf4)

Interview with adult banjo kid:

http://tinyurl.com/q2hsof6

Posted by: Country Singer at September 12, 2015 11:47 AM (nL0sw)

103 Posted by: BurtTC at September 12, 2015 11:41 AM (TOk1P)

I don't think that's a prank. Just kleptomania.

Posted by: @votermom at September 12, 2015 11:44 AM (cbfNE)

I can accept that. However, the cap stolen had to be an E7 or above.

And really, it had nothing to do with anything other than making the guy have to walk outside without his cap on.

Posted by: BurtTC at September 12, 2015 11:47 AM (TOk1P)

104 The best practical joke I did was to my boss. There is a gadget on ThinkGeek that beeps at random every couple of minutes. I placed it on the bottom of his office chair. Because the sound was coming from the centerline equidistant from both ears he couldn't tell where the sound was coming from, despite the fact that it was about 2 inches from his ass. He even shutdown every electronic device in his office trying to find it.

Then I got mean. I added a second one just above the AC return in the ceiling. That made beeps coming from two different directions. The ceiling beep was just as hard to locate.

I left this go on for about 5 months, and he slowly went crazy trying to figure out where that beep was coming from.

Posted by: Eric at September 12, 2015 11:47 AM (LiN1N)

105 One of the guys in the warehouse - Steve - was quite amusing. He called up the nice but dopey receptionist and asked her to page stuff like Roman Polanski to the Children's Department, with customers in the store.

"May I have your attention, members and guests, would Mr. Roman Polanski go to the Children's Department, please. Mr. Roman Polanski to the Children's Department. Thank you."

He had great timing, too. Knew which managers would laugh and let him get away with it.

He's think up all kinds of weird things for her to page. She always fell for it.

Posted by: I am not a Trumpkin! at September 12, 2015 11:47 AM (hgBpU)

106 I recycle, specially paper and metal.
Also reuse - as in I use plastic grocery bags for trash, etc.
Just because I'm a skinflint.

Posted by: @votermom at September 12, 2015 11:47 AM (cbfNE)

107 I remember a story of a "prank" where some Michigan or Minnesota students took a boat out into the middle of a lake late at night. They then dropped a LARGE chunk of elemental sodium into the lake and hauled ass. It apparently lit up the sky for miles around, and the fishing is still not so great there.

Posted by: Brave Sir Robin at September 12, 2015 11:48 AM (5buP8)

108 I believe I have witnessed the epitome of *Troll Level: Expert*

http://bit.ly/1iEZNzT

Posted by: Niedermeyer's Dead Horse at September 12, 2015 11:49 AM (PMlgt)

109 I like the running/Deliverance clip. It shows that Southerners/rednecks can poke fun at themselves, in good humor. You'll Never see that from the rap, latino, or lesbian rock crowds.

Posted by: uh huh at September 12, 2015 11:49 AM (SxLqa)

110 So there. I'm an AOSHQ heretic.

Posted by: mustbequantum at September 12, 2015 11:42 AM (MIKMs)
i used to cut them up for the sake of the dolphins...but then i found out dolphins were rapists....

Posted by: phoenixgirl, i was born a rebel at September 12, 2015 11:49 AM (0O7c5)

111 it's Franklin, TN.
----------

Well, sure.
Marathon(n.) - An activity by people of leisure.

Posted by: Mike Hammer, etc., etc. at September 12, 2015 11:50 AM (9mTYi)

112 replacing listerine with jack daniels

Posted by: vizzy at September 12, 2015 11:51 AM (iumjx)

113 Posted by: Eric at September 12, 2015 11:47 AM (LiN1N)

5 months!? Shit dude, that crosses the line from funny to mean. I hope he got you back.

Posted by: Brave Sir Robin at September 12, 2015 11:51 AM (5buP8)

114
We in the office once had a boss who wore a rain hat to the office every day (I think it was a plaid Totes).
Anyway, he would come in every day and put it on the rack.
We replaced it daily with a series of identical hats, only in progressively smaller sizes.
You should have seen him, by the end of the week, trying to cram that thing on his head as he went home.

Posted by: navybrat at September 12, 2015 11:35 AM (ETxiG)

On the set of Predator, Schwartzenegger and Ventura had a bet going as to who had bigger arms. Arnold basically duped Ventura into the bet by having the wardrobe dept alter his costume shirts to seem tighter, and Ventura, being an arrogant jackass, fell for it.

Posted by: IllTemperedCur at September 12, 2015 11:51 AM (o98Jz)

115 You'll Never see that from the rap, latino, or lesbian rock crowds.
Posted by: uh huh

There's nothing funny about lesbians. Nothing.

Posted by: Bossy Conservative....lost in America at September 12, 2015 11:52 AM (+1T7c)

116
Those guys owe me royalty money.

Posted by: Arthur Smith at September 12, 2015 11:53 AM (9mTYi)

117 Watched the first 3 minutes of Longmire and like it. Forgot all the A Man Called Horse nonsense on previous seasons. Hope they keep doing what they are doing on episode one...

Posted by: Bruce With a Wang! at September 12, 2015 11:54 AM (iQIUe)

118 So there. I'm an AOSHQ heretic.

Posted by: mustbequantum at September 12, 2015 11:42 AM (MIKMs)

Are you kidding???!!! The horde started recycling before it was THE thing to do - the horde OWNS recycling.

Posted by: I am not a Trumpkin! at September 12, 2015 11:54 AM (hgBpU)

119 Funny story about "dueling banjos" It was written my Arthur Smith who had a show on TV in CLT in the 50's. The producers didn't give him credit in the movie. He sued that shit out of them and won.

http://tinyurl.com/o7b3ws8

Posted by: Nip Sip at September 12, 2015 11:54 AM (0FSuD)

120 You'll Never see that from the rap, latino, or lesbian rock crowds.
Posted by: uh huh
------------

Actually, slutwalkers strongly resemble the banjo bunch.

Posted by: Arthur Smith at September 12, 2015 11:55 AM (9mTYi)

121 Years and years ago in college, a girl that worked in the lab pulled a great practical joke. She took a bunch of Oreos, separated them, and put toothpaste between them and put them back together. Then took them to school and put a plate of Oreos out in the lab.

April 1.

Posted by: Bossy Conservative....lost in America at September 12, 2015 11:55 AM (+1T7c)

122 No football thread again today I guess.

Posted by: buzzion at September 12, 2015 11:55 AM (zt+N6)

123 In my teens I worked in retail. We had somewhat lifelike looking mannequins. I was a tall skinny lad who had to wear the clothes we sold. If the setup was right, I could jump up on the platform, don a pair of sunglasses, put my arm around the mannequin and freeze. People would breeze right past me. When people would browse around me, I'd say psssst. Many times they would look right at me and keep shopping. Then I'd fall laughing off the platform and they'd have a slight freak.

Posted by: Brave Sir Robin at September 12, 2015 11:56 AM (5buP8)

124 122
No football thread again today I guess.

Posted by: buzzion at September 12, 2015 11:55 AM (zt+N6)

did i miss the football yahoo thing?

Posted by: phoenixgirl, i was born a rebel at September 12, 2015 11:56 AM (0O7c5)

125 I wonder if some of the younger runners even got the reference.

Posted by: Infidel at September 12, 2015 11:56 AM (zz1pw)

126 ATTENTION ALL MORONS!! TCM, at 12 Eastern: The Mouse that Roared!!!

Posted by: uh huh at September 12, 2015 11:56 AM (SxLqa)

127
it's Franklin, TN.
----------

Well, sure.
Marathon(n.) - An activity by people of leisure.

Posted by: Mike Hammer, etc., etc. at September 12, 2015 11:50 AM (9mTYi)

Even better, it's an event that commemorates the slaughter of thousands of violent, invading Iranians.

Posted by: IllTemperedCur at September 12, 2015 11:57 AM (o98Jz)

128 108 funny but having seen the volume of stuff that gets tweeted at Trump (mostly vile) I'm incined to shrug.
It's a mistake for Jindal to get involved though, imo. Asking for a beatdown.

Posted by: @votermom at September 12, 2015 11:57 AM (cbfNE)

129 I've never watched Deliverance. Should I?
Posted by: @votermom at September 12, 2015 11:13 AM (cbfNE)

What surprises me about that movie is I haven't seen it on History Channel yet.

Posted by: Bill H at September 12, 2015 11:57 AM (Baojj)

130 Oh you poor intelligent **cks who disagree with me yet still remain sane: Its the Trumpettes.

Posted by: fnord at September 12, 2015 11:57 AM (kW2Ka)

131 Moving cars? I had an old roommate that I sold a car to. He drank heavily. About once a month we would move his car, I still had a key.

They drove him nuts. We would just move it a little bit at first, but as the joke continued, we keep moving it further away from his place.

When he reported it stolen, be decided to stop the prank. He never had a clue.

Posted by: Nip Sip at September 12, 2015 11:57 AM (0FSuD)

132 95
Going to any of the local rivers, seeing ducks and geese (and I hate the Canadian geese with the heat of a thousand suns) trapped in the six-pack plastic and fouled nets also makes me use kitchen shears to cut up the six-pack plastic before putting it in the trash.

Posted by: mustbequantum at September 12, 2015 11:42 AM (MIKMs)

I buy beer by the case. No six-pack rings. I am environmentally conscious.

Posted by: Heb! at September 12, 2015 11:58 AM (sdi6R)

133 You want a practical joke? An all-lesbian remake of Deliverance.

Posted by: Stringer Davis at September 12, 2015 11:58 AM (xq1UY)

134
Nitrogen triodide, sprinkled in the hallways of the chemistry building. A friend told me.

Posted by: Mike Hammer, etc., etc. at September 12, 2015 11:59 AM (9mTYi)

135 No Elbow Thread yet?

Cook just ran a hellaceous 78-yarder in for FSU.

'Noles 7 Bulls 0

Posted by: logprof at September 12, 2015 11:59 AM (vsbNu)

136 133 You want a practical joke? An all-lesbian remake of Deliverance.

Posted by: Stringer Davis at September 12, 2015 11:58 AM (xq1UY)

I'm pretty sure you can find those in the back room of the video rental store.

Posted by: buzzion at September 12, 2015 11:59 AM (zt+N6)

137 Okay, this is funny. Trumpbart News.

http://tinyurl.com/pwrvrdm

Posted by: I am not a Trumpkin! at September 12, 2015 12:00 PM (hgBpU)

138 The second best prank I did was to one of the salesman in our office. This was in the late 90's during the Clinton impeachment. One day somebody noticed that the salesman John, looked a lot like Bill Clinton. So everyone started goofing on him about it, and he HATED every minute of it. One day when he was out he left his computer logged on and unlocked. So I changed his wallpaper to be the Presidential Seal, his startup sound to be Hail to the Chief and turned the speakers up to full. The best thing, was that I printed off a picture of Hillary and put it in the picture frame he had of his wife.

He comes in and turns on his computer and it blared Hail to the Chief really loud. He didn't notice the picture of Hillary. It took about 2 months before somebody asked him why he had a picture of Hillary Clinton framed on his desk.

Posted by: Eric at September 12, 2015 12:00 PM (LiN1N)

139 117 Watched the first 3 minutes of Longmire and like it. Forgot all the A Man Called Horse nonsense on previous seasons. Hope they keep doing what they are doing on episode one...
Posted by: Bruce With a Wang! at September 12, 2015 11:54 AM (iQIUe)

It's too bad Branch really IS dead this time.

Posted by: Jeff Weimer at September 12, 2015 12:02 PM (uZnX2)

140 Ray Lewis pissed off DeRay McKesson. He had the effrontery to suggest we drop the "black" from BLM and just go with "Lives Matter".

Posted by: The Great _______ Snark at September 12, 2015 12:02 PM (TgIjP)

141 Just hit this on a quick youtube suggested links surfing session.

Not bad for a hillbilly.

http://tinyurl.com/o7tfek4

I knew Roy Clark was good, but holy fvck.

Posted by: Burn the Witch at September 12, 2015 12:03 PM (Wckf4)

142 Posted by: Country Singer at September 12, 2015 11:47 AM (nL0sw)

Thanks for that link CS! Always wondered about him.

Posted by: Burn the Witch at September 12, 2015 12:04 PM (Wckf4)

143 @137

That's some good shit, don't let P 11 see it, his head will explode like poor dead Buzzion.

Posted by: Nip Sip at September 12, 2015 12:05 PM (0FSuD)

144 5 months!? Shit dude, that crosses the line from funny to mean. I hope he got you back.

Actually, that was me getting back at him. He got me good. He found a stapler that zaps you with an electric charge when you used it. He switched out my stapler and waited months for me to use my stapler. When I did it hurt like a mother fucker.

Posted by: Eric at September 12, 2015 12:05 PM (LiN1N)

145 Posted by: mustbequantum at September 12, 2015 11:42 AM (MIKMs)

Also, speaking as a hateful racist, the ignorant immigrants here in Kalifornia - Chinese and Hithpanic, legal and illegal, doesn't matter - faithfully dump shit all over the place. All.The.Time.

Trash and shopping carts. Geez louise.

And the non-Chinese illegals love to camp and start forest fires.

Posted by: I am not a Trumpkin! at September 12, 2015 12:06 PM (hgBpU)

146 My younger son was about six years old when he decided he wanted to "get Mom" for April Fool's Day. He put soap on my toothbrush (which I caught) and was trying other things. I knew that this would just keep going unless I did something to him. So I taped the button down on the sink sprayer, aimed it toward the front and asked him to get me a glass of water. His face was just the right height. No more April Fool's Day pranks!

Posted by: California Girl at September 12, 2015 12:07 PM (l+qoZ)

147 In the last thread, there was a link to a story about a couple arrested for having drunken sex in a parking lot.

It included a video, and I was instantly smitten by the lovely reporterette who covered the story, Gabriella Deluca.

Whilst stalking Ms. Deluca online, I found this gem:

https://tinyurl.com/nft5bm8

Rocket. Surgeon.

Posted by: rickl at September 12, 2015 12:07 PM (sdi6R)

148 After the whole dang world has gone PC, it will still be acceptable to mock
Mountain-Americans.

-
You can buy this to keep yourself on the straight and narrow. (I did not know that "daughter" was now verboten.)

http://tinyurl.com/qbehfs2

Posted by: The Great _______ Snark at September 12, 2015 12:08 PM (TgIjP)

149 A beef bullion cube in someone's shower head.

Posted by: rrpjr at September 12, 2015 12:08 PM (s/yC1)

150 Hi. I'm "That Guy."
Fifty years ago, after my uncle had blowed his hand up real good, he worked for a year or two at the tire-changing shop of a major truck line. Back when there were still split-rims, and you used v.large hammers a lot. Tough crew.

One guy was the welder, and would always weld this other guy's lunchbox shut. Every damn day. They had already had words and come to blows, but he kept it up anyway.

So one day, in the top of the lunch box where a thermos belongs, the guy leaves a can of ether starting fluid.

Killed him, it did. "It's all fun and games, until somebody..."

Posted by: Stringer Davis at September 12, 2015 12:10 PM (xq1UY)

151 I did not know that "daughter" was now verboten
------------

Actually, so are 'mother' and 'father'.

Posted by: Mike Hammer, etc., etc. at September 12, 2015 12:11 PM (9mTYi)

152 >>You can buy this to keep yourself on the straight and narrow. (I did not know that "daughter" was now verboten.)

Ugh! I's like giving language the Harrison Bergeron treatment - so many restraints the message loses all meaning.

What if Maria has more than one child? What if Maria is offended that you won't acknowledge that she is, in fact, a woman?
*pulls hair out at the idiocy of it all*

Posted by: Lizzy at September 12, 2015 12:12 PM (NOIQH)

153 "After the whole dang world has gone PC, it will still be acceptable to mock
Mountain-Americans. Hell Geo Clooney did it, and he is one."

True but that's not a bad thing. It means M-As are the only free ones left. Everyone else is a protected pet. To be mocked is to be a citizen, ancient Athens style.

Posted by: Knemon at September 12, 2015 12:13 PM (AuPdD)

154 Just don't understand seining (? throwing nets for fishing) in the rather shallow places in local rivers. Then they are just left there, so kids and wildlife get fouled up in those darned things.

Bad enough novice fishermen cutting lines and leaving them, but those nets are awful.

Denouncing myself, but never have seen a blonde (no matter how dumb) leaving stuff around like that.

Posted by: mustbequantum at September 12, 2015 12:14 PM (MIKMs)

155 Just don't understand seining (? throwing nets for fishing) in the rather shallow places in local rivers. Then they are just left there, so kids and wildlife get fouled up in those darned things.

***

I can't believe that's legal

Posted by: Niedermeyer's Dead Horse at September 12, 2015 12:18 PM (PMlgt)

156 Class of 1985, Patch High, Vaihingen, Germany

They bought a piece of crap, ridden hard late 60s VW Bug, and painted it in school colors, Black and Gold (well close, yellow with some black), for use as a float to human-tow around at Rallies, Parades and such.

They managed to smuggle it into the High School foyer on the first day of school, lock the doors, flatten the tires, set and break the Emergency Brake in the locked position - and IIRC, superglue the lock cylinders .

For that first school day in 1984, sitting in front of the Principal's Office, in the main foyer of the school, on an Army Base in Germany, HQEUCOM (Commanding Headquarters all USA forces Europe), sat this yellow smelly disheveled, drunken cousin VW to Herbie the Love Bug.

I have been pranked, pranked others well, and seen many great pranks - still, to me 30 years later, the '85 VW is best prank ever I've yet witnessed.

Patch, Class of 86, Salutes

Posted by: UpGefucht at September 12, 2015 12:20 PM (B9vWW)

157 We made some simple parts out of lead once. Unsuspecting rookie target puts them in the heat treatment oven, thinking they were tool steel.

They evaporated. Poor kid searched for them for two days before we finally told him what happened.

Posted by: BackwardsBoy at September 12, 2015 12:21 PM (LUgeY)

158 TD Bulls, about to tie it up.

Posted by: logprof at September 12, 2015 12:22 PM (vsbNu)

159 Well, if I did it no doubt the Game Wardens would be on me like stink. Son pays out through the nose for fishing licenses every year and is stopped to check his license every time.

Posted by: mustbequantum at September 12, 2015 12:23 PM (MIKMs)

160 TD Bulls, about to tie it up.

Kid and Gkid at that game.

Posted by: BackwardsBoy at September 12, 2015 12:23 PM (LUgeY)

161 My prankster friend David Zartman graduated high school right after Waco. The teachers were watching him like a hawk expecting graduation ceremony shenanigans. Zart was the last to graduate. They announced his name as written: David Koresh Zartman.

Posted by: Zartman Wins Again at September 12, 2015 12:23 PM (nc+gz)

162 160 TD Bulls, about to tie it up.

Kid and Gkid at that game.
Posted by: BackwardsBoy at September 12, 2015 12:23 PM (LUgeY)

--Cool. Now that I think of it, it's been 20 years since I went to my first game at Doak.

Posted by: logprof at September 12, 2015 12:27 PM (vsbNu)

163 --Cool. Now that I think of it, it's been 20 years since I went to my first game at Doak.

Gkid just started at USF.

Posted by: BackwardsBoy at September 12, 2015 12:29 PM (LUgeY)

164 I think Mike Luckovich's greatest practical joke was convincing anyone he had any talent either as an artist or as a remotely funny cartoonist.

http://www.gocomics.com/mikeluckovich

No doubt there could be amusing editorial cartoon you could do regarding the KY clerk and the marriage licenses, but that wasn't one of them.

Posted by: FenelonSpoke at September 12, 2015 12:32 PM (dKQ1C)

165 O.K. This is slightly funnier, but stupid:

http://www.gocomics.com/mikeluckovich/2015/09/06

Posted by: FenelonSpoke at September 12, 2015 12:38 PM (dKQ1C)

166 All this time, I thought it was Nip Slip.

Posted by: Grampa Jimbo at September 12, 2015 12:46 PM (1ijHg)

167 Look, Im a socialist and even I remember tying up firecrackers into explosives as a kid :-) We aint all that different.

Posted by: fnord at September 12, 2015 12:52 PM (kW2Ka)

168 who are they running from? they just want to gay marry them for a little while.

Posted by: X at September 12, 2015 12:59 PM (57fhp)

169 Bulls and 'Noles still tied at 7 at the half.

Posted by: logprof at September 12, 2015 12:59 PM (vsbNu)

170 Uh oh, Harbaugh may start 0-2.

Posted by: logprof at September 12, 2015 01:02 PM (vsbNu)

171 >>>You want a practical joke? An all-lesbian remake of Deliverance.

have you ever seen an actual lesbian? it's all Deliverance all the time without the good looks.

Posted by: X at September 12, 2015 01:02 PM (57fhp)

172 As a kid in the 60s, I had a pet cat which wandered into a neighbor's yard across the street. A guy living there was a gun nut who liked to shoot any animals appearing in his yard with wax bullets. When my cat got hit, the back injury resulted in an infection which killed it.

The gun-nut-neighbor also had a pet cat. A few days after my cat died, I grabbed his cat after dark and fed it a bowl of milk laced with Ex-Lax powder. I placed the cat inside his owner's brand new Chrysler New Yorker sedan (those were the days when people didn't bother to lock their cars, and had carports rather than garages).

Not surprisingly, the next morning the entire interior of the New Yorker was destined to be replaced. The Ex-Lax cat seemed to survive, no worse for the wear.

Posted by: Kevin C. at September 12, 2015 01:32 PM (OT5Lm)

173 I was a theater techie in Hogh School, and after I graduated I did summer theater with a company that used my HS theater as their base. My buddy and I had become quite adept at breaking into the school after hours when we discovered certain fire doors never locked for safety reasons. With some "tools" we made in the scene shop we could easily get into any locked door in the building - including the theater. Our recurring bit was rearranging whatever was set on the stage before everyone left for the night. Stage set for act 1 scene 1? We'd change it to act 2 scene 1. We did this for two seasons and they never figured out who did it. We also started the rumor that the theater was haunted.

Posted by: Hamilton at September 12, 2015 02:10 PM (4djZu)

174 Screencapped co-worker's computer screen, made that the background image, hid the icons.

*click* *clickclick* *clicketyclicketyclicketyclick*

Different co-worker got the Gunny treatment. We set sound clips from "Full Metal Jacket" for various apps and messages. Error message was "WHAT IS YOUR MAJOR MALFUNCTION?!?" New email message was "You're so ugly, you could be a modern art masterpiece!"

Posted by: roamingfirehydrant at September 12, 2015 03:12 PM (A8ZgE)

175 My son traveled 2 hours one way to a friend's house in the wee hours of the morning. He jacked up the front wheels of the dude's car and placed half a watermelon under each wheel and slowly lowered the car into its melon slippers. He knew his buddy would be mostly asleep when he left for work in the pre-dawn light.

His buddy did not disappoint. He put the car in reverse and the wheels spun wildly but he went no where. Thinking transmission trouble he put in forward but got the same. Reverse again, the melons wore down and shot out, and the car bolted down the driveway. He never did know what all the red stuff on his car and garage door was.

Posted by: Joan of Argghh! at September 12, 2015 05:57 PM (BC6+0)

176 I had an employee at a dry cleaners I managed that was always coming in late and stoned. Called in late one day too many so I had a friend climb inside a laundry bag in the middle of the floor(anyone seen Audition?) Stoner comes in slurring excuses and I just shrug and ask him to shift the bag. She grabs his hand just as he grabs the bag and this big boy screams like a little girl and tries to climb the wall to get away from the bag. Yup he was late the next day but I didn't mind.

Posted by: wilbeforce at September 12, 2015 06:40 PM (C59A6)

177 The greatest practical joke of my life was in the Navy, in 1993. We had a shipmate, Damon, who was irresponsible with money and also on BAS (i.e., he received money for meals, which he misspent, instead of having a pass for the chow hall). This shipmate consequently was a mooch, and by the 12th or 13th of the month would be scavenging for anything he could beg, borrow, or steal. (Watch your sandwiches lest they mysteriously disappear.)

So we're in the shopette and see that Feenamint is on sale for fifty cents a pack of 24 chocolated laxatives. And Margueron noticed that the size of the packaging was remarkably similar to that of a Korean chocolate bar on sale in the ville. We bought four packages for two bucks, almost 100, and then ran out to the ville to see if they match.

We carefully re-wrapped three of them in the livery of the Korean chocolate, and returned to our workspace to bait the trap.

Sure enough, moments later, Damon was complaining that "this chocolate tastes funny".

I exploded, cursing him as a damnable mooch, and demanded that he sure as hell better finish that up if he's opened and gnawed on my candy bar. Damon asked whether this was "Ex Lax, or something, you guys" and we pushed back hard. "If it's Ex Lax, why does it say 'F A M' on each piece, you idiot!" He ate two Korean candy bars, 48 doses in total.

So about 30 minutes later Damon is running to the head. We lurked outside the door with tears running down our faces while the "Dumb And Dumber" noises gurgled out of the head.

Damon came back, white as a sheet and clutching his abdomen.

And then Margueron took it to the conclusion. "Damon, if you're not feeling well, it could be because you're not eating enough. Here, take our last candy bar."

The irony of this is that almost 25 years later, when I recall this prank, I risk wetting my pants.

Damon died in 2002 but his shipmates will always remember him with a smile.

Posted by: Brendon Carr at September 12, 2015 10:21 PM (jBrIY)

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