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White Dude Couldn't Get His Poem Published Anywhere, So He Resubmits It Under Name Yi-Fen Chou; Not Only Is It Published, But It's Now Being Collected in Book of America's Best Poems, 2015

A lot of issues here.

The left is only interested in talking about a couple of them, though.

The guy's real name is Hudson.

Hudson’s critics said the literary bait-and-switch was fraudulent, racist and fundamentally different from Charlotte Bronte publishing "Jane Eyre" under the name Currer Bell.

"When you're doing this from a position of entitlement, you're appropriating an ethnic identity that’s one, imaginary, and two, doesn't have access to the literary world," poet and Chapman University professor Victoria Chang told The Washington Post. "And it diminishes categorically all of our accomplishments. He sort of implies that minorities are published because we’re minorities, not because of our work. That's just insulting because it strips everything we’ve worked so hard for."

Phil Yu, the blogger better known as Angry Asian Man, wrote "if there is such a thing as employing yellowface in poetry, this has to be it."

But if this poem was serially rejected when it was submitted under a White Guy Name, only to be then published and feted as one of the best poems of the year under a Chinese Name, then that undermines this claim that minorities don't have some "entitlement" and special access here.

That's one of the most emotional tensions of Affirmative Action: the left pushes for it, but then wants to pretend no one at all has ever benefited from it (that is, that no one ever got special consideration for it).

The only time it can be acknowledged that minorities get a boost from Affirmative Action is when white liberals festoon each other with awards for boosting minorities at their various awards-giving ceremonies.

But only white liberals giving another white liberal a prize can admit that Affirmative Action has any actual beneficiaries; for anyone to acknowledge this is racist.

One little interesting thing: The editor of the volume is keeping the poem in, despite the controversy, reasoning that a poem stands or falls on its own merits, and if the acknowledgment of excellence was suddenly withdrawn, it would raise a lot of questions about the poetry community's standards.

I find this kind of thing interesting, how one's estimation of a work of art can change so much when one finds out that one's understanding of who wrote it is suddenly challenged.

It's not supposed to matter who wrote something -- but I think actually it does, more than even non-SJWs admit.

The Poem: Via Jazz Shaw, here's part of the poem:

Huh! That bumblebee looks ridiculous staggering its way

across those blue flowers, the ones I can never
remember the name of. Do you know the old engineer's

joke: that, theoretically, bees can't fly? But they look so

perfect together, like Absolute Purpose incarnate: one bee
plus one blue flower equals about a billion

years of symbiosis. Which leads me to wonder what it is

I'm doing here, peering through a lens at the thigh-pouches
stuffed with pollen and the baffling intricacies

of stamen and pistil. Am I supposed to say something, add
a soundtrack and voiceover?

Well I don't think that's very good at all. It's got a touch of I Love Science! (TM) to it, plus some annoying authorial interjections that sound like Carrie in Sex and the City adding her stupid observations to everything. In fact, he himself lampshades the voiceover by asking if he's supposed to add a voiceover to his experience.

Answer: You probably shouldn't. You know, the poem itself is your reflection upon your experience; you shouldn't add reflections upon your experience into the reflection upon your experience.


"Thigh-pouches" strikes me both as trying too hard and not trying hard enough.

It puts a powerful image in my mind: the image of a poet looking way too pleased with himself for shabby sophomore-level work.

So I'd be kind of surprised if this unremarkable poem did not get some extra points for coming from A Historically Excluded Minority Who Probably Comes From a Different Poetry-Tradition Than We In the West Do So We Can't Fully Appreciate The Dumb Crap He Says.

In fact, the editor of the Best American Poetry volume admits that, noting that he was "more amenable" to this terrible, terrible poem due to his misbelief that a Chinese guy had written it.

Frankly, I see far better Chinese poetry in Chinese restaurant menu item naming.

I like imagist poetry, but this seems like a really lazy stab at it. Instead of describing the blue flowers, he just calls them "blue," and says he always forgets what they're called. That last bit seems to me just a cutesy Carrie Bradshaw look at me instead of the flowers bit of laziness. What are their blooms like? Are they bells, little balls, splays of open petals?

The only description of the bees is "staggering" and "thigh-pouches." "Staggering" is pretty lazy too, since bees are frequently described as "drunkenly stumbling" from flower to flower.

Pretty SOP Bee Imagery, you know.

Everything else is about the poet himself, what he can and can't remember and jokes he's heard but doesn't quite relate.

Just not very good at all.


Posted by: Ace at 03:32 PM




Comments

(Jump to bottom of comments)

1 Game over man!

Posted by: Hutson at September 08, 2015 03:32 PM (Vf5rR)

2 First?

Posted by: sunny-dee at September 08, 2015 03:32 PM (EBoCD)

3 Good afternoon Ace- you are on fire today...

Posted by: BunkerintheBurbs at September 08, 2015 03:32 PM (WDySP)

4
This should help...

http://goo.gl/lXtPjg

Posted by: Hillary Clinton at September 08, 2015 03:32 PM (HSmrB)

5 FIRST, LOSERS!

That said, the "who" on who wrote it makes sense in some contexts. Something written by someone very young may not compare to something written by a seasoned writer, but could still be noteworthy because of where it came from. That has an implicit (and sometimes explicit) asterisk that it was good for someone so young.

In this case, the question is -- was the excellence of the poem only because it was good work for a person of color? Or is it that it was always good work, and people simply refuse to acknowledge good work from white people?

Posted by: sunny-dee at September 08, 2015 03:34 PM (EBoCD)

6 I can see hypocrisy from my house.

Posted by: Sarah Palin at September 08, 2015 03:34 PM (Vf5rR)

7 I think the big difference between this and something like The Education of Little Tree is that one is a piece of fiction and the other is purported to be autobiography, so there's a level of lying to the fake autobiography that makes it less true than a piece of well written fiction.

But yeah...minorities are always stepped on in every way in modern America. Amiright?

Can only get published by pretending to be white.

Or...did I get that backwards?

Posted by: David at September 08, 2015 03:35 PM (UtRhK)

8 Reminds me of some plates painted by Picasso at displayed at a Picasso museum in France. They could have been done by a 1st grader, but because Picasso, priceless art.

Posted by: Lizzy at September 08, 2015 03:35 PM (NOIQH)

9 Chong ching chong poetry ching chong chong cultural appropriation chong chong ching chong!

Posted by: Rosie O'Donnell at September 08, 2015 03:35 PM (2Ojst)

10 I'm sending in There Once Was a Man from Nantucket under the Nom de Plume

Ho Lee Fuk.

The best Jerry..THE BEST

Posted by: Bruce at September 08, 2015 03:35 PM (8ikIW)

11 One of the three-dozen or so executive orders to be signed on the first day of my Presidency prevents Federal student loans and grants and Federal research grants or contracts, from going to educational and research institutions that use race in any form as an admissions criterion, or a criterion for promotion/tenure.

Posted by: The Devoceleraptor at September 08, 2015 03:35 PM (o+SC1)

12 I'm unclear how this is different than Dolezal or the BLM dude. An individual is profiting because they can pretend to be a different race.

Posted by: joe at September 08, 2015 03:36 PM (KUaJL)

13 But if this poem was serially rejected when it was submitted under a
White Guy Name, only to be then published and feted as one of the best
poems of the year under a Chinese Name, then that undermines this claim
that minorities don't have some "entitlement" and special access here.



Dayum, ain't that some sh*t?

Posted by: Al Sharpton at September 08, 2015 03:36 PM (e8ge6)

14 If it is good enough to be published under an Asian-sounding name why isn't it good enough to be published under a European-sounding name?


The bigotry of low expectations extends to poetry.

Posted by: Mikey NTH - Autumnal Enormities have Arrived at the Outrage Outlet! at September 08, 2015 03:36 PM (hLRSq)

15 I don't see the problem.

Posted by: Wun Hung Low at September 08, 2015 03:36 PM (oKE6c)

16 Hmmm, what does Lizzie Warren think of this?

Posted by: Lizzy at September 08, 2015 03:36 PM (NOIQH)

17 I smell a Haiku Contest in the offing.

Posted by: Garrett at September 08, 2015 03:36 PM (ZHZBE)

18 Wait- so some white person got himself something important by pretending to be some other race?

Incredible!

Posted by: Elizabeth Warren at September 08, 2015 03:37 PM (BKV7y)

19 Our people held this land
Many moons ago
With its flowing streams and buffalo
Now bitter tears are our harvest.

Posted by: Princess Elizabeth Warren at September 08, 2015 03:37 PM (UlJ3l)

20 I've just never understood why anyone cares about the ethnic makeup of who writes a book, sings a song, drives a delivery truck, or anything else. It's either done well or it's not.

Posted by: Countrysquire, feeling reasonably fresh down there at September 08, 2015 03:37 PM (eEBON)

21 Saying something is good for a "colored person" (or woman or gay or whatever) is patronizing and insulting. Obviously. But it's insulting to that person and indicates that the work is, in itself, substandard. It's a personal insult, as it were.

What's more interesting -- and troubling to me -- is intentionally excluding work that is objectively good or even great because it is done by a white person (or as in scifi, someone of a different political persuasion or whatever). That is Orwellian; it is intentionally crushing beautiful things simply because beautiful things aren't allowed to exist. That's a culture-wide insult.

Posted by: sunny-dee at September 08, 2015 03:38 PM (EBoCD)

22 Well a poem about rice paddies, bamboo and squid street vendors in Hong Kong probably WOULDN"T look good coming from a white guy.

Posted by: Make America Great Again at September 08, 2015 03:38 PM (LXJ1e)

23 But you're not Chinese!

Posted by: estelle costanza at September 08, 2015 03:38 PM (5DdVJ)

24 Is this fundamentally different than women adopting male or gender-neutral gnomes with plumage to write their books to clear gatekeeping or crack into a genre, or the obverse? Is literary yellowface worse than literary cross-dressing? Why or why not?

Clearing the gatekeeper is nearly always the hardest step in publishing traditional-style. Once that's been done, the content can be judged on its merits, and not before.

Posted by: Sporkatus at September 08, 2015 03:38 PM (HtLSE)

25 12
I'm unclear how this is different than Dolezal or the BLM dude. An
individual is profiting because they can pretend to be a different race.


Posted by: joe at September 08, 2015 03:36 PM (KUaJL)

You have a point!

Posted by: Elizabeth Warren at September 08, 2015 03:38 PM (Vf5rR)

26 More proof, if any is yet needed, that diversity means Anything but White. To be more specific, anything but white, male, hetero, and Christian.
Those quotes in the story are beautiful in how they expose the ugliness of it all.

Posted by: OneEyedJack at September 08, 2015 03:38 PM (kKHcp)

27 The left is all about who you are and what your name is, not what you did.

Posted by: Bevel Lemelisk at September 08, 2015 03:38 PM (88fBD)

28 The guy's real name is Hudson.

Hudson-Fen Chou? I wouldn't make such a big deal about this. People use different first names (or last, in the case of Oriental names) all the time.

Posted by: ThePrimordialOrderedPair at September 08, 2015 03:38 PM (zc3Db)

29 NO AWARD

Posted by: Hugo Award Voters at September 08, 2015 03:38 PM (9TK8E)

30 Maybe to avoid this sort of thing they shouldn't have poems submitted under a name. Just submit the poem and then if it wins give a name.

Posted by: FenelonSpoke at September 08, 2015 03:38 PM (OSs/l)

31 How idiotic is it to assert that an Asian poet doesn't have "access to the literary world," when the only way some white guy can get his poem published by the literary world is to submit it while pretending to be Asian! It's the white guy who is being denied access here, Ms. Chang. It is the white guy who is not entitled to have his work considered on its merits. It is the white guy who is being discriminated against.

There is real discrimination against Asians in the U.S., but it happens mainly in universities which require Asian applicants to score far higher than any black or hispanic applicants, and slightly higher than white applicants. That's where Asians should be directing their ire, not at white poets who are just trying to get a fair shot at getting their work published.

Posted by: TrivialPursuer at September 08, 2015 03:39 PM (a31sM)

32 we should have thought of something like this; cultural free-for-all poo-slinging


Posted by: RinglingBros., Barnum & Bailey at September 08, 2015 03:39 PM (8CdUx)

33 That's one of the most emotional tensions of Affirmative Action: the left pushes for it, but then wants to pretend no one at all has ever benefited from it (that is, that no one ever got special consideration for it).

------

Other than Clarence Thomas.

Posted by: SH at September 08, 2015 03:39 PM (gmeXX)

34 Wait - people still write poetry?

Posted by: Chi - The New Sheriff Inn at September 08, 2015 03:39 PM (XeiJX)

35 Yo!

Posted by: Yo! at September 08, 2015 03:39 PM (GwIKd)

36 19 Our people held this land
Many moons ago
With its flowing streams and buffalo
Now bitter tears are our harvest.
Posted by: Princess Elizabeth Warren at September 08, 2015 03:37 PM (UlJ3l)



Bitter tears, and of course, tenure.

Posted by: Jay Guevara at September 08, 2015 03:39 PM (oKE6c)

37 Neil Gaiman recently got on board with a 'boycott white male authors for a year' concept. So this is out in the open.

As a white male author, let me tell you how thrilled I am at that.

Posted by: Bevel Lemelisk at September 08, 2015 03:40 PM (88fBD)

38 Art and literature for the most has been destroyed by Leftists and their politics.

But it is interesting that the editor seems to have chosen the poem because of a Leftist approved dedication to exoticism, he's excoriated by the Left for sticking with the choice.

The Left here couldn't be more clear; POLITICS UBER ALLES.

Posted by: weft cut-loop at September 08, 2015 03:40 PM (JmGFJ)

39 25 12
I'm unclear how this is different than Dolezal or the BLM dude. An
individual is profiting because they can pretend to be a different race.


Posted by: joe at September 08, 2015 03:36 PM (KUaJL)

You have a point!
Posted by: Elizabeth Warren
________

And how!

Posted by: Ward Churchill at September 08, 2015 03:40 PM (UlJ3l)

40 fundamentally different from Charlotte Bronte publishing "Jane Eyre" under the name Currer Bell.

IOW, not different at all?

We should start having blind literary submissions to just about everything at this point I guess.

Posted by: Lea at September 08, 2015 03:40 PM (lIU4e)

41 >> then that undermines this claim that minorities don't have some "entitlement" and special access here.

That's WHY they're complaining about it.

Posted by: Not Mitt Romney at September 08, 2015 03:40 PM (TULs6)

42 The truth is that standards (and laws, morals) are no longer enforced uniformly. It now depends on the person's group membership, whether it's race, religion, ethnicity, gender, sexual preference, or politics.

This is what the Left has been pushing for decades. You can say/do/value something that that other guy can't because of who you are.

These " emperor has no clothes" moments for this progressive sliding scale of values keep piling up with every Dolezal, etc.

Posted by: Lizzy at September 08, 2015 03:40 PM (NOIQH)

43 There once was a man from Nantucket Tai-Pei...

Posted by: Garrett at September 08, 2015 03:40 PM (ZHZBE)

44 Looks like Planned Parenthood in Chicago lost one of their UPS packages.

http://goo.gl/rAUmeB

Posted by: maddogg at September 08, 2015 03:41 PM (xWW96)

45 Also, how does one tell the difference in good and bad poetry?

Posted by: Countrysquire, feeling reasonably fresh down there at September 08, 2015 03:41 PM (eEBON)

46 But if this poem was serially rejected when it was submitted under a White Guy Name, only to be then published and feted as one of the best poems of the year under a Chinese Name, then that undermines this claim that minorities don't have some "entitlement" and special access here.

No entitlement or anything. The committee was just incredibly impressed taht a Chinaman could write in English using "L"s. It is a spectacular feat.

Posted by: ThePrimordialOrderedPair at September 08, 2015 03:41 PM (zc3Db)

47 34 Wait - people still write poetry?
Posted by: Chi - The New Sheriff Inn at September 08, 2015 03:39 PM (XeiJX)


There are eight hundred thousand people writing poetry for every person who reads it.

Posted by: Bevel Lemelisk at September 08, 2015 03:41 PM (88fBD)

48 My poem was great
But turned down because I'm white
I'm now Yi-Fen Chou

Posted by: Insomniac at September 08, 2015 03:41 PM (2Ojst)

49

Hut Sun. Hut Sun Fen Chow.

Posted by: fixerupper at September 08, 2015 03:42 PM (8XRCm)

50 OT, and probably not surprising, but Shep can't help but talk over the speakers at that Kim Davis rally. He may actually be dominating the clock at this point with his running commentary.

He's apparently not a fan.

Posted by: f2000 at September 08, 2015 03:42 PM (5xwgn)

51 I'd like to have a word or two with this Mexican guy, Anthony Quinn.

Posted by: Zorba the Greek at September 08, 2015 03:42 PM (l3vZN)

52 Yes, I know they are keeping it in the Anthology because answering the question I posed in No. 14 would be just a little too embarrassing to contemplate.

Few people like being told that they are being accommodated because everyone else feels sorry for them and wants to feel better about themselves, sort of like how when you were a kid you might let your little brother win a game because you feel sorry for his ineptitude and mom said she'd ground you if didn't let him win once in a while.

Posted by: Mikey NTH - Autumnal Enormities have Arrived at the Outrage Outlet! at September 08, 2015 03:42 PM (hLRSq)

53 And people actually read it?

Posted by: Chi at September 08, 2015 03:42 PM (XeiJX)

54 Saying something is good for a "colored person" (or
woman or gay or whatever) is patronizing and insulting. Obviously. But
it's insulting to that person and indicates that the work is, in itself,
substandard. It's a personal insult, as it were.




Posted by: sunny-dee at September 08, 2015 03:38 PM (EBoCD)

And how, precisely, is that different from having womens' divisions in tennis, golf, volleyball, and even chess?
Show your work.

Posted by: Jay Guevara at September 08, 2015 03:42 PM (oKE6c)

55 45 Also, how does one tell the difference in good and bad poetry?
Posted by: Countrysquire, feeling reasonably fresh down there at September 08, 2015 03:41 PM (eEBON)



If it reminds you of Walt Whitman, it sucks the tap root to poetic hell. He was the worst, by far, I EVER read.

Posted by: maddogg at September 08, 2015 03:43 PM (xWW96)

56 Everyone needs several names, apparently.

You need the ghetto-black name to get into college, the Chinese name to publish poetry, what else?

Posted by: The Devoceleraptor at September 08, 2015 03:43 PM (o+SC1)

57 in at least one American city, auditions for the symphony where held behind a screen ( for those of you in Marin County, that means the judges could not see the person who was playing her Instrument )


the result was that no Afros were chosen, so they voided the results and held new auditions with no stinkin' screens.

Posted by: Ringling Bros., Barnum & Bailey at September 08, 2015 03:43 PM (8CdUx)

58 What ever happened to Rachel Doleslaw or Coleslaw or whatever her name was?

Posted by: Spellcheck at September 08, 2015 03:43 PM (j+aWk)

59 I grew up a poor, black boy . . . .

Posted by: RoyalOil at September 08, 2015 03:43 PM (ZvKdv)

60 Asians can't publish
Their poems because white guys
But Yi-Fen Chou did

Posted by: Insomniac at September 08, 2015 03:43 PM (2Ojst)

61 The best asian poets lack all conviction, while the worst white poets are full of passionate intensity

Posted by: ed gibbon at September 08, 2015 03:44 PM (5DdVJ)

62 56
Everyone needs several names, apparently.



You need the ghetto-black name to get into college, the Chinese name to publish poetry, what else?



Posted by: The Devoceleraptor at September 08, 2015 03:43 PM (o+SC1)

Your plain old white guy name to cash all those white privilege dividend checks.

Posted by: rebel flounder at September 08, 2015 03:44 PM (Vf5rR)

63 "I've just never understood why anyone cares about the ethnic makeup of who writes a book, sings a song, drives a delivery truck, or anything else."

For a Progressive there is a moral imperative to be a patronizing snot. You can feel superior to both the object of your "charity" and the knuckle-dragging conservatives.

Posted by: Mikey NTH - Autumnal Enormities have Arrived at the Outrage Outlet! at September 08, 2015 03:45 PM (hLRSq)

64 All art's subjective. And I guess if you're a huge racist, that can color your view of an artists work.

Though that never seems to happen with pedophiles and pederasts, which I find interesting.

Posted by: Chupacabras at September 08, 2015 03:45 PM (CGjum)

65 Little known fact - I am actually Arab.

Posted by: Bill Shakespeare at September 08, 2015 03:45 PM (8TdcF)

66
Im going to watch this story with a jaundiced eye.

Posted by: fixerupper at September 08, 2015 03:45 PM (8XRCm)

67 There once was a man from Tai-Pei.
Who wasn't Asian at all, so you say.....

Posted by: FenelonSpoke at September 08, 2015 03:45 PM (OSs/l)

68 I read a story a few years ago about a medical student who had a gofundme or whatever page. He was a fourth year student who had been in a car wreck or something just before graduation and needed money to get physical therapy to start his residency. He received nothing. Zip. His fundme page was right next to a premed student who wanted money so he wouldn't have to get loans when he started school. He got tens of thousands. First guy was White, premed guy was Black.

Just sayin'

Posted by: Daybrother unleashed at September 08, 2015 03:45 PM (jpjzh)

69 Quick, someone ask Donald Trump a question about this

Posted by: deach by bunga-bunga at September 08, 2015 03:45 PM (8CdUx)

70 What's really amazing is that Orientals, comprising more than 1/4 of the world's population, are considered a minority. That's a pretty nifty trick.

The fact is that the real minority in the world is white people. By miles.

Posted by: ThePrimordialOrderedPair at September 08, 2015 03:45 PM (zc3Db)

71

Everyone should use the name Pat.

Oh, that won't work.

Paht.

Posted by: artisanal 'ette at September 08, 2015 03:45 PM (qCMvj)

72 Race, Class, Gender. Race, Class, Gender... Their game is wearing thin.

Posted by: dfbaskwill at September 08, 2015 03:46 PM (zllbf)

73 54 And how, precisely, is that different from having womens' divisions in tennis, golf, volleyball, and even chess?
Show your work.
Posted by: Jay Guevara
______________

Oh! My! God! Did you see that?! A lefthanded layup!

Posted by: Women's Basketball Announcer at September 08, 2015 03:46 PM (UlJ3l)

74 Maya Angelou wrote incomprehensible horseshit, but because she's black it's Nobel and Pullitzer prize-worthy.

Posted by: Hank at September 08, 2015 03:46 PM (kHkDb)

75
You need the ghetto-black name to get into college, the Chinese name to publish poetry, what else?


Posted by: The Devoceleraptor at September 08, 2015 03:43 PM (o+SC1)


Better have an Eskimo name for a fishing license in Alaska.

Posted by: jwest at September 08, 2015 03:46 PM (Zs4uk)

76 deach ???? Death, man: It's the only way to Go

Posted by: death by bunga-bunga at September 08, 2015 03:46 PM (8CdUx)

77 There are eight hundred thousand people writing poetry for every person who reads it.
Posted by: Bevel Lemelisk

_________________________________________________

And yet, every single one of us knows verbatim the most famous Chinese poem ever written.

Posted by: Countrysquire, feeling reasonably fresh down there at September 08, 2015 03:46 PM (eEBON)

78 Everybody was Kung Fu Fighting

Those kicks were fast as lightning

In fact, it was a little bit frightening

But they fought with expert timing




Posted by: Bruce at September 08, 2015 03:46 PM (8ikIW)

79 Hudson #2.

Hudson #1 got real job as Lawyer.

Posted by: Jackie Chan at September 08, 2015 03:47 PM (ZHZBE)

80 @26 - no, that's not true at all.

If you're trying to get into college the LAST thing you want is a Chinese name.

http://www.latimes.com/local/california/la-me-adv-asian-race-tutoring-20150222-story.html

Not a new article, but a definite wedge issue here in California between the Latino powers in the Democrat Party and the Asians who are Democrat because that's where the power's been in the urban areas they mostly live in.

Posted by: The Devoceleraptor at September 08, 2015 03:47 PM (o+SC1)

81 It's the same story when you misattribute a quote to someone that is either loved or hated. You will get a different opinion on its value based solely on the purported author.

Posted by: Max Rockatanksy at September 08, 2015 03:47 PM (Ok9RO)

82 Greetings:

As opposed to gender bait and switch ???

Posted by: 11B40 at September 08, 2015 03:47 PM (abx5/)

83 There once was a man from Tai-Pei.
Who wasn't Asian at all, so you say.....
Posted by: FenelonSpoke at September 08, 2015 03:45 PM (OSs/l)

-------

So We spun him around.
Around and around
And he's still "disoriented" to this day.

Posted by: fixerupper at September 08, 2015 03:47 PM (8XRCm)

84 You need the ghetto-black name to get into college, the Chinese name to publish poetry, what else?
Posted by: The Devoceleraptor at September 08, 2015 03:43 PM (o+SC1)



Don't look at me.

Posted by: Caitlyn Jenner at September 08, 2015 03:47 PM (oKE6c)

85 Asians don't have "access" to the literary establishment? Has Victoria Chang been in a bookstore lately? Check the fiction aisle--especially younger writers. Plenty of Asian-mostly female- novelists out there....

Posted by: JoeF. at September 08, 2015 03:47 PM (OcYFi)

86 Aw,, yeah, we're #4 now! WOO

Posted by: The Vogons at September 08, 2015 03:48 PM (zgHLA)

87 poem added, with criticism

Posted by: ace at September 08, 2015 03:48 PM (dciA+)

88 Chinese poetry?

Who knew?

I thought the guy just had a speech impediment.

Posted by: Bossy Conservative....lost in America at September 08, 2015 03:48 PM (RFeQD)

89 Publishing as an asian works?

I shall publish as The Shredder!

Posted by: Bevel Lemelisk at September 08, 2015 03:48 PM (88fBD)

90 You need the ghetto-black name to get into college, the Chinese name to publish poetry, what else?

Hispanic name for employment purposes.

Posted by: Brother Cavil, down with Eph 6:12-13 at September 08, 2015 03:48 PM (9krrF)

91 What's really amazing is that Orientals, comprising more than 1/4 of the world's population, are considered a minority. That's a pretty nifty trick.

Posted by: ThePrimordialOrderedPair at September 08, 2015 03:45 PM (zc3Db)


Relatively speaking, of course.

Posted by: ThePrimordialOrderedPair at September 08, 2015 03:48 PM (zc3Db)

92 >>And how, precisely, is that different from having womens' divisions in tennis, golf, volleyball, and even chess?

I think womens sports are separate because of their physical difference. Female athletes just can't perform at the same level as male athletes (comparing the top athletes for both genders), which is why the women marathoners always come in after the male winner, etc. For chess, I got nothing.

Posted by: Lizzy at September 08, 2015 03:48 PM (NOIQH)

93 I'm having a fair and balanced moment. I want Shep to fall from on high. How did that viper ever get into our camp? He whines that "these Christians rant about Sharia ... but then want to have our laws have a religious component." Or some such drivel. Note to Shep ... Christians are not beheading people, Shep! Yeah, we believe we are right, but we don't kill people that disagree with us, asshole! I am not referring to any commenter here, of course, but to the Shepard Smith of FoxNews.

Posted by: goon at September 08, 2015 03:48 PM (gy5kE)

94 I'm watering my lawn here in SoCal, and whenever anyone gives me the stink eye, I just tell them I self-identify as a delta smelt.

Posted by: Jay Guevara at September 08, 2015 03:48 PM (oKE6c)

95 lack all conviction, while the worst white poets are full of passionate intensity

Posted by: ed gibbon at September 08, 2015 03:44 PM (5DdVJ)


Stop stealin' my sh*t, man

Posted by: Willie B Yeats at September 08, 2015 03:48 PM (8CdUx)

96 My guess if he used the name Leroy Screaming Eagle he would have been signed to a book deal. OTH, who the hell reads poetry these days? Serial question.

Posted by: Jonah Goldberg at September 08, 2015 03:48 PM (oDCMR)

97 And yet, every single one of us knows verbatim the most famous Chinese poem ever written.
Posted by: Countrysquire, feeling reasonably fresh down there at September 08, 2015 03:46 PM (eEBON)

----

Ricky Ticky Tembo???

Posted by: fixerupper at September 08, 2015 03:48 PM (8XRCm)

98 So I wonder if will get a hat tip and update in the main post for this comment

Posted by: Wi Tu Lo at September 08, 2015 03:49 PM (2Ocf1)

99 Neil Gaiman hasn't written anything worth a shit in quite a while, I have no problem boycotting him for more than a year.

Posted by: Chupacabras at September 08, 2015 03:49 PM (CGjum)

100
*recalls the Skoal Affair*

Posted by: Mike Hammer, etc., etc. at September 08, 2015 03:49 PM (9mTYi)

101 99 Neil Gaiman hasn't written anything worth a shit in quite a while, I have no problem boycotting him for more than a year.
Posted by: Chupacabras at September 08, 2015 03:49 PM (CGjum)


I'm planning to boycott him forever.

Posted by: Bevel Lemelisk at September 08, 2015 03:49 PM (88fBD)

102 Publishing as an asian works?

I shall publish as The Shredder!


Also good for working under Democrat administrations.

Posted by: Brother Cavil, down with Eph 6:12-13 at September 08, 2015 03:49 PM (9krrF)

103 Barack Obama is a SCOAMT.

Posted by: AllenG (DedicatedTenther) - Fire-hooks and Rock Salt for sale at September 08, 2015 03:50 PM (kff5f)

104 Burn it down.
Scatter the stones.
Salt the earth where it stood.

Posted by: AllenG (DedicatedTenther) - Fire-hooks and Rock Salt for sale at September 08, 2015 03:50 PM (kff5f)

105 92 >>And how, precisely, is that different from having womens' divisions in tennis, golf, volleyball, and even chess?

I think womens sports are separate because of their physical difference. Female athletes just can't perform at the same level as male athletes (comparing the top athletes for both genders), which is why the women marathoners always come in after the male winner, etc. For chess, I got nothing.
--------------------
You would think boobies would give them an advantage at chess.

Posted by: Jonah Goldberg at September 08, 2015 03:50 PM (oDCMR)

106 I Am Grant

Posted by: I Am Groot at September 08, 2015 03:50 PM (Cq0oW)

107 I've read Consekus that were better poetry than that.

Posted by: AllenG (DedicatedTenther) - Fire-hooks and Rock Salt for sale at September 08, 2015 03:50 PM (kff5f)

108 87
poem added, with criticism

Posted by: ace at September 08, 2015 03:48 PM (dciA+)

I'd hate to see the white crap that did not make the cut.

Posted by: rebel flounder at September 08, 2015 03:50 PM (Vf5rR)

109 Well, fucked up my Charlie Chan sock.

Posted by: Garrett at September 08, 2015 03:50 PM (ZHZBE)

110 OT, but I'm visiting my mom for a few days, and she has the Kim Davis rally playing on Fox. I don't think I've ever seen a show hosted by Shep Smith for more than 5 minutes. Has he always sounded so Southern? Has he always spouted the progressive line as he is doing here? And has he officially come out as one of the ghey's? I'm finding it hard to take his bitchiness... Ok, thanks. And pardon my snark.

Posted by: OCD 'Ron at September 08, 2015 03:50 PM (7h/1w)

111 I lived across the street from a poet but he died and became useful.

Posted by: X at September 08, 2015 03:51 PM (xGNLA)

112 Reminds me of some plates painted by Picasso at displayed at a Picasso museum in France. They could have been done by a 1st grader, but because Picasso, priceless art.
Posted by: Lizzy at September 08, 2015 03:35 PM (NOIQH)


this is tricky

If you follow the progression of an artist from birth to death, sometimes the work in between, or "studies" that stand alone look that way.

I had more appreciation for Picasso after going through the Picasso museum - his early years - in Spain. Knocked my socks off.

Some of the work artists do became abstract only after a lot of realism, or realism to expressionism, etc.

People will pay for the artist, versus the piece. Always jockeying for the "collection" in the end. Buying a piece here a piece there.

Posted by: artisanal 'ette at September 08, 2015 03:51 PM (qCMvj)

113 Posted by: fixerupper at September 08, 2015 03:47 PM (8XRCm)

Very good!; Next time please submit it under an non European ethnic name,

Posted by: FenelonSpoke at September 08, 2015 03:51 PM (OSs/l)

114 And yet, every single one of us knows verbatim the most famous Chinese poem ever written.
--------------

There was a young lady from Madras?

No, wait, that's Indian.

Posted by: Mike Hammer, etc., etc. at September 08, 2015 03:51 PM (9mTYi)

115 There once was a man from Tai-Pei.
Who wasn't Asian at all, so you say
They saw his deceit rather tawdry
When he couldn't do laundry
And drove on the road the right way

Posted by: Insomniac at September 08, 2015 03:51 PM (2Ojst)

116 I think womens sports are separate because of their physical difference.

Posted by: Lizzy at September 08, 2015 03:48 PM (NOIQH)


But it's not just that. There are women's categories in non-physical competitions, too, like chess, pool, ... and women still can't beat the men.

Of course, I'm all for women's tennis because the Eastern European babes wouldn't be allowed to wear their hot mini-skirts if they played in the men's league, which is the only real interest in women's tennis.

Posted by: ThePrimordialOrderedPair at September 08, 2015 03:51 PM (zc3Db)

117 And that's actually a spoof on some dialogue from "Get Smart!" back in the '60's.

And just a little while ago, a Black lady who works in our office walked by talking to someone else, say how much she liked "Blazing Saddles", as it was....get this...funny.

A lot of Black Americans think "Blazing Saddles" is funny, yet, it could not be made today, with the same dialogue, etc.

What a wretched collection of wimpies we've become.

Posted by: Bossy Conservative....lost in America at September 08, 2015 03:51 PM (RFeQD)

118 It's not supposed to matter who wrote something -- but I think actually it does, more than even non-SJWs admit.

Oh here's something I've been screeching about for freaking ever.

Look, knowing an author's background and views and blah blah blah can be interesting to inform a view of the background in which the work was created. However, the work ultimately stands on its own and should be judged on its own.

That being said, if something is presented as autobiographical and it turns out that it's not, well, that is a piece of information that is fundamental to the interpretation of the work.

Look, this is all part of my loathing of the politicization of everything. Is the poem good, yes or no? By good I mean aesthetically and intellectually. I do not mean good because it advances a social justice agenda or because it allows an excluded voice to be heard.

Is the poem good? That's it. That's what I care about in a work.

Here, I'll present a somewhat heretical view. I think Crichton was an incredibly accomplished author. I also think that State of Fear fails as a novel because he gave more attention to the polemics than to plot, characterization and pacing. State of Fear is just as social justice warriory as anything from the Left and that poisons the work in exactly the same manner. I don't care that it's on "my" side. It still detracts from the work.

That being said, the text of a speech he gave on the topic that is included in State of Fear is quite delightful. Why? Because that's supposed to be a polemic and it succeeds masterfully. Different formats. Different goals. Same author. Wildly different results.

I'm so sick of every person being shoved into tiny categories and then judged by how well they do or do not fit into those categories when they do, well, anything at all. Individuals are individuals and should be judged as such.

Now, if you'll excuse me, that dino porn isn't going to read itself.

Posted by: alexthechick - Yeah I give up at September 08, 2015 03:51 PM (mf5HN)

119 Anthology closed. YOU GO NOW!!!

Posted by: Victoria Chang at September 08, 2015 03:51 PM (8ZskC)

120 67 There once was a man from Tai-Pei.
Who wasn't Asian at all, so you say.....
Posted by: FenelonSpoke

But you published his po-em
When you didn't even know him

Posted by: Furious George at September 08, 2015 03:52 PM (UlJ3l)

121 74 Maya Angelou wrote incomprehensible horseshit, but because she's black it's Nobel and Pullitzer prize-worthy
----------------
And what's the other one? 3 names. Joyce something. ..
I once went on a date with a young, hot teacher the made Carrie Underwood look lame.

When authors came up, and I heard her prattle on about how great she is, I basically waited a little while, paid the tab & never called her back.

Posted by: Chi at September 08, 2015 03:52 PM (XeiJX)

122 The secret is to spell your name backward and write an autobiography about being abandoned by your daddy and being raised by nasty white women. Totes money in the bank.

Posted by: Jonah Goldberg at September 08, 2015 03:52 PM (oDCMR)

123 Indian actress Mindy Kaling's brother did something similar. All of his applications for med school were rejected, so he shaved his head and gave himself an Africa-American sounding nickname and - voila! - got into med school.

http://www.cnn.com/2015/04/07/living/
feat-mindy-kaling-brother-affirmative-action/index.html

Posted by: Lizzy at September 08, 2015 03:52 PM (NOIQH)

124 I think womens sports are separate because of their
physical difference. Female athletes just can't perform at the same
level as male athletes (comparing the top athletes for both genders),
which is why the women marathoners always come in after the male winner,
etc. For chess, I got nothing.

Posted by: Lizzy at September 08, 2015 03:48 PM (NOIQH)

Of course. My point was to the comment that saying something is "good for an X" was demeaning. Isn't that exactly what we're saying in the womens' championship of ... well ... everything?
If you're the champion, you're the champion. If you're the champion given some restriction on who can compete, then you're "good for an X," where X is that restriction.

Isn't that true?

Posted by: Jay Guevara at September 08, 2015 03:52 PM (oKE6c)

125 On topic ... those chickenshit liberals are not going to let this kind of basterdization of their oversight of what is art and what is not slip away like this ever again. They will drill deep to keep this kind of subterfuge from ever embarrassing them again. We might want to learn from their example, for once. We really need to pull on our batting gloves kids.

Posted by: goon at September 08, 2015 03:52 PM (gy5kE)

126 One little interesting thing: The editor of the volume is keeping the poem in, despite the controversy, reasoning that a poem stands or falls on its own merits, and if the acknowledgment of excellence was suddenly withdrawn, it would raise a lot of questions about the poetry community's standards.

You mean like, "Oh, hey, you can get absolute drek published if you're the right 'minority' class?"

Those kinds of questions? Because I think it's past time those questions were asked.

Posted by: AllenG (DedicatedTenther) - Fire-hooks and Rock Salt for sale at September 08, 2015 03:52 PM (kff5f)

127 Have you met my girlfriend....

Donna Chang?

Posted by: Required Seinfeld Reference at September 08, 2015 03:52 PM (Jktp1)

128 Is this fundamentally different than women adopting male or gender-neutral gnomes with plumage to write their books to clear gatekeeping or crack into a genre, or the obverse?
Posted by: Sporkatus at September 08, 2015 03:38 PM (HtLSE)


Especially in sci-fi.

Romance? Not so much.

Posted by: artisanal 'ette at September 08, 2015 03:53 PM (qCMvj)

129 Ace,

I find this kind of thing interesting, how one's estimation of a work of
art can change so much when one finds out that one's understanding of
who wrote it is suddenly challenged.


I do as well. I long argued regarding Milli Vanilli that everyone loved their music until it was discovered that the two black dudes didn't really sing it. And then the music disappeared off the airwaves and the grammy was taken back. Why? The music everyone loved was still the same. The music hadn't changed one iota.

Same thing with Vanilla Ice after he lost his "street cred". Suddenly, nobody would admit to liking Ice Ice Baby. But it was the same song whether Ice was a bad-boy BMX champion or just a typical suburban white kid.

One homo-erotic cheesy video ruined Billy Squier's career - and I loved that album of his.

I can understand in some circumstances. It DOES make a difference if the guy writing the alleged autobiography really suffered through the things claimed or not - because how the story reaches you emotionally is different when you believe you are reading fiction versus non-fiction.

but for music? Or paintings? Or poetry? What difference does it make who the artist is if you like the art?

Posted by: Monkeytoe at September 08, 2015 03:53 PM (3ZtZW)

130 baffling intricacies

of stamen and pistil.




aaaaaand, now it's a sex thread!

Posted by: Bandersnatch at September 08, 2015 03:53 PM (JtwS4)

131 I think this is how Peter Lorre got the Mr. Moto job...

Posted by: tu3031 at September 08, 2015 03:53 PM (YFFpo)

132 "When you're doing this from a position of entitlement, you're appropriating an ethnic identity that's one, imaginary, and two, doesn't have access to the literary world," poet and Chapman University professor Victoria Chang told The Washington Post"

NEWS FLASH TO VICTORIA CHANG and everyone else like her in academia:

YOU ARE NOW THE PRIVILEGED CLASS.

That's right, you.

Minorities get special treatment and special privilege and get hired and get promotions and get awards and all the rest SOLELY BECAUSE THEY ARE MINORITIES.

YEs, there used to be a anti-minority bias is various aspects of society. But in most areas, not only has htta bias disappeared, IT HAS BEEN REVERSED.

There is now overt, blatant, unapologetic anti-White bias and pro-minority bias in almost every field of academic endeavor (and a lot of other fields as well).

What happened to this guy's poem PROVES this.

As a white man, he is a failure. But fool people into thinking he's a minority, and suddenly he's a genius.

Happens all the time, day in, day out, in every academic and literary scene.

The Left is exploding because this incident has revealed their racism and bias for the world to see.

Posted by: zombie at September 08, 2015 03:53 PM (jBuUi)

133 Of course, I'm all for women's tennis because the
Eastern European babes wouldn't be allowed to wear their hot mini-skirts
if they played in the men's league, which is the only real interest in
women's tennis.

Posted by: ThePrimordialOrderedPair

But (butt) when it comes to beach volleyball, the womens kick ass.

Posted by: Bruce at September 08, 2015 03:53 PM (8ikIW)

134 >>119 Anthology closed. YOU GO NOW!!!



And we have a Winner.

Posted by: Garrett at September 08, 2015 03:54 PM (ZHZBE)

135 >>bees can't fly

Wrong. Bees Can't 'lie'. Didn't he watch Jupiter Ascending?

(man that poem was terrible)

Posted by: Lea at September 08, 2015 03:54 PM (lIU4e)

136 The Alan Sokal sociology paper still stands as the pre-eminent example demonstrating that leftists don't know jackshit about anything, as much as they like to pretend they do.

Posted by: ThePrimordialOrderedPair at September 08, 2015 03:54 PM (zc3Db)

137 Is all the feminine hygiene ads in Spanish because too many have said that Jeb is a bleeding pussy here?

Posted by: Buzzion at September 08, 2015 03:54 PM (z/Ubi)

138 What ever happened to Rachel Doleslaw or Coleslaw or whatever her name was?


It's Rachel-Yi Feng-Sui now, gwei-lo.

Posted by: Rachel-Yi Feng-Sui at September 08, 2015 03:54 PM (8ZskC)

139 What if he self-id's as Asian?

Posted by: Iblis at September 08, 2015 03:54 PM (9221z)

140 One time there was man from Nantuckee...

Posted by: The Book of Asian Limericks at September 08, 2015 03:54 PM (nFdGS)

141 The purported poem is a parody, right? I know I don't get or like poetry, but really?

Oh, and thanks, white leftists and colored people agitators, for ensuring that many people's first impression of me will be that I'm probably somewhat dumb and got where I am because of extra melanin.

Even if I outperformed the vast majority of people on various tests regardless of race.

Thanks a lot.

Posted by: chique d'afrique (the artist formerly known as african chick) at September 08, 2015 03:55 PM (SEFXb)

142 Shit,I've seen way better poetry by people here at the HQ.I've seen better scrawled in a toilet stall.

Posted by: steevy at September 08, 2015 03:55 PM (sPO3u)

143 The irony is running strong today, wherever I look.

Posted by: sock_rat_eez at September 08, 2015 03:55 PM (go6ud)

144 You would think boobies would give them an advantage at chess.

Otherwise Evil Ex-Girlfriend had lovely boobies and would strip when we played chess. I never won a game.

Posted by: Bandersnatch at September 08, 2015 03:55 PM (JtwS4)

145 As a white man, he is a failure. But fool people into thinking he's a minority, and suddenly he's a genius.



Happens all the time, day in, day out, in every academic and literary scene.



The Left is exploding because this incident has revealed their racism and bias for the world to see.

Posted by: zombie at September 08, 2015 03:53 PM (jBuUi)

And that is the true poetry, here.

Posted by: rebel flounder at September 08, 2015 03:55 PM (Vf5rR)

146 95 lack all conviction, while the worst white poets are full of passionate intensity

Posted by: ed gibbon at September 08, 2015 03:44 PM (5DdVJ)


Stop stealin' my sh*t, man


Posted by: Willie B Yeats at September 08, 2015 03:48 PM (8CdUx)


thank you. I thought I was being ignored because I'm white - worse, English Ed G

Posted by: ed gibbon at September 08, 2015 03:56 PM (ALcbf)

147 Posted by: Insomniac at September 08, 2015 03:51 PM (2Ojst)

Dude, I know who you are!
You're actually John Rocker!

pretty funny, though.

Posted by: OneEyedJack at September 08, 2015 03:56 PM (kKHcp)

148 But it's not just that. There are women's
categories in non-physical competitions, too, like chess, pool, ... and
women still can't beat the men.



Posted by: ThePrimordialOrderedPair at September 08, 2015 03:51 PM (zc3Db)




I wasn't deprecating women's sports per se, I was deprecating the comment that adding a qualification to praise ("good ... for an X") is demeaning.


I just chose X = women because that was an obvious choice, but X could be any number of segmentation variables.

Posted by: Jay Guevara at September 08, 2015 03:56 PM (oKE6c)

149 This is a Seinfeld episode where George's mom is fine with taking advice from a woman over the phone when she thinks it is a Chinese women talking to her, but when she finds out she is just a white jewish girl, mom freaks out. lol

The left is obsessed with race and ethnicity. They view an "ethnic" sounding name as superior and confer upon on it superior intelligence and morality.

Fucking crazy, I know, but that is the Left for ya!

Posted by: Duncan MacLeod, the Highlander at September 08, 2015 03:56 PM (COpZ4)

150 I lived across the street from a poet but he died and became useful.
Posted by: X
----------------------
I recall a story about a painter, who, in attendance at a cocktail party, was asked what he was doing lately. "Nothing", he replied. When it was explained to him that it was not possible in a fully-employed economy to be doing nothing the poor fellow fled to Italy.

Posted by: Mike Hammer, etc., etc. at September 08, 2015 03:56 PM (9mTYi)

151 91 What's really amazing is that Orientals, comprising more than 1/4 of the world's population, are considered a minority.
--------------------
You mean Asians, right?
Orientals are rugs. Or so I've been told for years.

Posted by: Chi at September 08, 2015 03:56 PM (XeiJX)

152 Maya Angelou wrote incomprehensible horseshit, but because she's black it's Nobel and Pullitzer prize-worthy.

Posted by: Hank at September 08, 2015 03:46 PM (kHkDb)


And her Presidential Inaugural benediction "poem" stood as one of the worst public speeches in history ... until Rev. Joseph Lowery gave his infantile rant ... "when yellow will be mellow ... when white will embrace what is right ..."

Posted by: ThePrimordialOrderedPair at September 08, 2015 03:57 PM (zc3Db)

153 Posted by: Monkeytoe at September 08, 2015 03:53 PM (3ZtZW)

I disagree about Millie Vanili specifically because I view that as very different. It wasn't that people suddenly didn't like the music, it was that those two specific dudes (and their con-man producer IIRC) were being specifically punished/black-listed.

Otherwise, I agree. If your "appreciation" for "art" changes based on your perception of the artist, then I suspect you never appreciated the art in the first place.

Posted by: AllenG (DedicatedTenther) - Fire-hooks and Rock Salt for sale at September 08, 2015 03:57 PM (kff5f)

154 144 You would think boobies would give them an advantage at chess.

Otherwise Evil Ex-Girlfriend had lovely boobies and would strip when we played chess. I never won a game.
--------------------
So you never forked her?

Posted by: Jonah Goldberg at September 08, 2015 03:57 PM (oDCMR)

155 >>
peering through a lens
at the pollen stuffed pouches
Blue Pollen. Crab cake.

Posted by: Elizabeth Warren-Chang at September 08, 2015 03:57 PM (ZHZBE)

156 Phil Yu, the blogger better known as Angry Asian Man, wrote "if there is such a thing as employing yellowface in poetry, this has to be it."


Honorable brother have head up his ass.

Posted by: Fuk Yu at September 08, 2015 03:57 PM (8ZskC)

157 "Roses are red,
Violets are blue,
If you're a chink,
We'll publish you too."

Posted by: Victoria Chang at September 08, 2015 03:58 PM (oKE6c)

158 You're not Chinese, you know.

Posted by: Jerry Seinfeld at September 08, 2015 03:58 PM (ZHZBE)

159 CHARLIE CHAN WAS A WHITE GUY !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!



Posted by: emhatic Asian commenter at September 08, 2015 03:58 PM (8CdUx)

160 "Individuals are individuals and should be judged as such."



That's all well and good, but the cheap sanctimony posing as the knight in shining armor for the oppressed downtrodden members of some group is just to good to give up on that easily. The appearance of principles, after all, looks exactly the same as having principles but without having to deal with difficult decisions and hard choices.

Posted by: Mikey NTH - Autumnal Enormities have Arrived at the Outrage Outlet! at September 08, 2015 03:58 PM (hLRSq)

161 http://i.___ur.com/tIxmqZ8.jpg

Posted by: dan-O at September 08, 2015 03:59 PM (ByqK7)

162 Have you met my girlfriend....

Donna Chang?
Posted by: Required Seinfeld Reference

____________________________________

She's not Chinese, she's from Long Island!

Posted by: Countrysquire, feeling reasonably fresh down there at September 08, 2015 03:59 PM (eEBON)

163 149 This is a Seinfeld episode where George's mom is fine with taking advice from a woman over the phone when she thinks it is a Chinese women talking to her, but when she finds out she is just a white jewish girl, mom freaks out. lol

The left is obsessed with race and ethnicity. They view an "ethnic" sounding name as superior and confer upon on it superior intelligence and morality.

Fucking crazy, I know, but that is the Left for ya!

Posted by: Duncan MacLeod, the Highlander at September 08, 2015 03:56 PM (COpZ4)

Would you people please read the comments


23 But you're not Chinese!

Posted by: estelle costanza at September 08, 2015 03:38 PM (5DdVJ)

Posted by: ed gibbon at September 08, 2015 03:59 PM (ALcbf)

164 I think playing in burkas, and in beards for the guys, is only reasonable. It shouldn't slow the game down any, or make it any less fun, just because the girls will all look like cloth Daleks! Plus, then it will be fair for everyone. No special advantage for the scantily clothed non-believers!

Posted by: goon at September 08, 2015 03:59 PM (gy5kE)

165
Have you ever read any of my shit?

Posted by: Maya Angelou at September 08, 2015 03:59 PM (OiFtZ)

166 Huh! That curry looks ridiculous slithering its way

from that crooked kitchen utensil that looks like a small bowl with a long handle, the one I can never
remember the name of. Do you know

the old cook's joke: that, theoretically, wine can't go with salad?

But they look soup perfect together, like Absolute Vodka incarnate: one still plus one blue filter equals about a billion

years of double vision-ness. Which leads me to wonder what it is

I'm doing here, peering through a door at the thigh-pockets stuffed with Bidis and the baffling intricacies

of cumin and chicken. Am I supposed to say something, add a soundtrack and voiceover?

Posted by: Mahatma Coat at September 08, 2015 03:59 PM (qSIlh)

167 There is now overt, blatant, unapologetic anti-White bias and pro-minority bias in almost every field of academic endeavor (and a lot of other fields as well).

There are advocates for every group except whites. Advocates for whites are called racists.

Hell, someone is debating calling me a racist for even saying that.

Posted by: Bevel Lemelisk at September 08, 2015 03:59 PM (88fBD)

168 The Poem: Via Jazz Shaw, here's part of the poem:

eek!

but how was the cadence in Mandarin? Cantonese? Burmese?

Posted by: artisanal 'ette at September 08, 2015 03:59 PM (qCMvj)

169 http://tinyurl.com/ogr5ep2

Posted by: dan-O at September 08, 2015 03:59 PM (ByqK7)

170
White boy pretend be China Boy and fool many but not me.

Posted by: Charlie Chan at September 08, 2015 04:00 PM (OiFtZ)

171 "When you're doing this from a position of entitlement, you're appropriating an ethnic identity that's one, imaginary, and two, doesn't have access to the literary world," poet and Chapman University professor Victoria Chang told The Washington Post.


------


Veronica Chang, if that is your real name, that is one of the most brilliant insights I have ever laid eye on. If it is not your name, it is submoronic waste and is unworthy of my time.

Posted by: Dave S. at September 08, 2015 04:00 PM (mhkbv)

172 Reminds me of the Left's penchant for wise African proverbs, such as the "It takes a village to raise a child" variety.

Jonah Goldberg wrote a mocking column about this - how they never can attribute it to any person or tribe, and if they were so wise then how come....yeah, it's just patronizing PC crap.

Posted by: Lizzy at September 08, 2015 04:00 PM (NOIQH)

173 There once was a man from Tai-Pei.
Who wasn't Asian at all, so you say.....

But you published his po-em
When you didn't even know him

And now we all think you're cray-cray.

Posted by: FenelonSpoke at September 08, 2015 04:00 PM (OSs/l)

174 Here's a poem I wrote about my work. Never got anywhere, but thanks to this Hudson fellow, I now have a plan moving forward.

The anesthesiologist
Gives you a simple task
He asks that when he passes gas
You breathe it through a mask

Posted by: Doctor Cynic at September 08, 2015 04:00 PM (Zls+j)

175 If the music industry was about music, than that may be true, Monkeytoe.

However, music is about image, and you better have one if you want to succeed. Even people that eschew an image have one.

Posted by: Chupacabras at September 08, 2015 04:00 PM (CGjum)

176 It's ironic that white men need to use pen names to get published. Remember when women had to use male pen names? Some of their efforts have been considered some the best ever written; An inconvenient truth I suppose.

Posted by: Walknot at September 08, 2015 04:00 PM (FnHBZ)

177 no, an "Oriental" is a blow job lasting less than three minutes


also called an 'egg-timer'

Posted by: emphatic Asian commenter at September 08, 2015 04:00 PM (8CdUx)

178 Posted by: Mahatma Coat at September 08, 2015 03:59 PM (qSIlh)


ahaha

Posted by: artisanal 'ette at September 08, 2015 04:00 PM (qCMvj)

179 You mean Asians, right?
Orientals are rugs. Or so I've been told for years.

Posted by: Chi at September 08, 2015 03:56 PM (XeiJX)


No. I meant Orientals, which is the correct label. Asians comprise a much larger class. The two labels are not synonymous in any way. There are many Asians who aren't Orientals. The left just wanted to get rid or "Orientals" for some stupid reason and chose an incorrect replacement. In Britain, when someone says "Asian" they mean Pakistani or Indian, which Americans almost never use "Asian" for.

Posted by: ThePrimordialOrderedPair at September 08, 2015 04:01 PM (zc3Db)

180 I have a dream that all poetry will one day exist in a
nation where it will not be judged by the color of their skin or the ethnicity of the name of the author but by the content of it's verses.
I have a dream today!

Posted by: Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. at September 08, 2015 04:01 PM (e8kgV)

181 White boy pretend be China Boy and fool many but not me.


Posted by: Charlie Chan at September 08, 2015 04:00 PM (OiFtZ)

Only fool #1 son. Not Charlie.

Posted by: Jay Guevara at September 08, 2015 04:01 PM (oKE6c)

182 Poets should all be crucified. They put images of impurity into our heads, as all apostates do, so we don't care what yer' stinkin' name is boy, get down on your knees and repent .... he said, while channeling the future.

Posted by: goon at September 08, 2015 04:01 PM (gy5kE)

183 "all look like cloth Daleks!"

Thank you ! First good laugh I had today !

Posted by: sock_rat_eez at September 08, 2015 04:01 PM (go6ud)

184 I got stung by a yellowjacket - twice today. First in the foot, then in the chest. What does this have to do with bumblebees, Asians, and poetry?

Everything.

The angry yellow bee is not to be taken lightly.

Posted by: se pa moron at September 08, 2015 04:02 PM (sI4OA)

185 >>116 I think womens sports are separate because of their physical difference.



Weak Arms.

Posted by: Dwight K Schrute at September 08, 2015 04:02 PM (ZHZBE)

186 The Alan Sokal sociology paper still stands as the pre-eminent example demonstrating that leftists don't know jackshit about anything, as much as they like to pretend they do.

Posted by: ThePrimordialOrderedPair


Or, rather, that scholarship isn't the point of the humanities; it's tribal signaling and cargo cultism.

Posted by: weft cut-loop at September 08, 2015 04:02 PM (JmGFJ)

187 I'm sure when among the Cherokee's, Elizabeth Warren becomes Princess spend your wompum.

Posted by: Colin at September 08, 2015 04:02 PM (eoM8x)

188 no, an "Oriental" is a blow job lasting less than three minutes



And 20 minutes later you want another one.

Posted by: Jay Guevara at September 08, 2015 04:02 PM (oKE6c)

189 Have you ever read any of my shit?

Posted by: Maya Angelou at September 08, 2015 03:59 PM (OiFtZ)


Yes, I've read your entire oeuvre and I loved it.

Posted by: No Sane Person Ever at September 08, 2015 04:02 PM (8ZskC)

190 176 It's ironic that white men need to use pen names to get published. Remember when women had to use male pen names? Some of their efforts have been considered some the best ever written; An inconvenient truth I suppose.
----------------------------
Name three great women authors.

Posted by: Puddin Head at September 08, 2015 04:02 PM (oDCMR)

191 I have a friend who has the kind of name that is commonly perceived as "black." She's isn't black, though -- she's totally white.

I can't reveal the exact name here, for obvious reasons, but it's along the lines of "Yolanda Washington" or "Latasha Jones."

(Don't ask me what her mother was thinking when my friend was born -- that's a different tale altogether.)

Anyway, my friend is in a creative/artistic field. Again, for her privacy, I won't reveal the exact field. Something literary or art-related.

They story of her lie, of her entire career, is being MISTAKENLY perceived as black in submissions, and then one of two things happens:

1. The editors/judges think she's black, then give her what she wants -- publication, prize money, and exhibition, etc. -- and there is no real pubicity around what happens, and my friend "gets away with it." Gets away with what? Well, she says, it's quite obvious in many instances that the judges/editors thought she was black, and awarded her with success based on that.

or

2. She AT FIRST is given success, based on the presumption that she is black, but then there is some kind of nosy querry or underhanded investigation as to her "identity," and when they discover she is white, THEY RETRACT THE AWARD/PRIZE/PUBLICATION etc.

This happens to her on a regular basis, year in, year out. And it gets worse every year.

She's not trying to defraud anyone -- she can't help what her name is -- but she ends up being in a situation like this poetry guy's ALL THE TIME.

Posted by: zombie at September 08, 2015 04:02 PM (jBuUi)

192 Posted by: ThePrimordialOrderedPair at September 08, 2015 04:01 PM (zc3Db)


Hell, Russians are Asians, though they'll deny it vehemently.

Posted by: Bevel Lemelisk at September 08, 2015 04:02 PM (88fBD)

193 I just got finished eating Mongolian BBQ. The only poetry that mattered was my waitress's butt in the yoga pants she was wearing.

Posted by: Country Singer, Laid Back Asian Man at September 08, 2015 04:03 PM (nL0sw)

194

cream of sum yung gai?

Not appetizing to my

jaded western eye.

Shrimp ho li fuk?

I'd rather have the peking duck.

Who can say if the pu pu hot pot

Is really authentic or not?

Not I, says I, let's just go

to eat dim sum at hung far lo.

Posted by: imp at September 08, 2015 04:03 PM (XIXZz)

195 That's all well and good, but the cheap sanctimony posing as the knight in shining armor for the oppressed downtrodden members of some group is just to good to give up on that easily. The appearance of principles, after all, looks exactly the same as having principles but without having to deal with difficult decisions and hard choices.
Posted by: Mikey NTH - Autumnal Enormities have Arrived at the Outrage Outlet! at September 08, 2015 03:58 PM (hLRSq)



Wait, I thought we weren't yelling about Boehner et al in this thread.

Posted by: alexthechick - Yeah I give up at September 08, 2015 04:03 PM (mf5HN)

196 Thanks a lot.

Posted by: chique d'afrique (the artist formerly known as african chick) at September 08, 2015 03:55 PM (SEFXb)


Chique, by patronizing you the Progressives are now able to feel morally superior to both you and the knuckle-draggers.

Posted by: Mikey NTH - Autumnal Enormities have Arrived at the Outrage Outlet! at September 08, 2015 04:03 PM (hLRSq)

197 Chop suey with egg rolls and maybe some pot stickers.

Posted by: Killerdog at September 08, 2015 04:04 PM (dyNnE)

198 The atheists are going to have a particularly rough morning one of these days. I'm not saying that they are wrong, but Islam will.

Posted by: goon at September 08, 2015 04:04 PM (gy5kE)

199 Name three great women authors.
Posted by: Puddin Head at September 08, 2015 04:02 PM (oDCMR)

----

Shelly
Wolf
Cather

Posted by: fixerupper at September 08, 2015 04:04 PM (8XRCm)

200 I'm puzzled. I thought Asians were not part of the oppressed.

Posted by: Northernlurker at September 08, 2015 04:04 PM (4rzL1)

201 Good afternoon Ace- you are on fire today...
Posted by: BunkerintheBurbs
----------------------------------------

You go, Ewok!

Posted by: Alicia Keyes at September 08, 2015 04:04 PM (E5UB0)

202 Terrible poem. Awful. Its lead-weighted mediocrity makes my head hurt.

I write that as someone who loves poetry, who has had a few of his more worthwhile poems published in literary journals, who believes the arts--prose, poetry, music, painting, sculpture--immeasurably enrich the lives of those who experience them. Reading dreck like this breaks my heart. Knowing the arts are nearly fully politicized now breaks it even more.

Posted by: troyriser at September 08, 2015 04:05 PM (XHR9b)

203 but maybe he's asian on the inside

Posted by: buzzsaw90 at September 08, 2015 04:05 PM (/eTPT)

204 Hell, Russians are Asians, though they'll deny it vehemently.

Posted by: Bevel Lemelisk at September 08, 2015 04:02 PM (88fBD)


Most Russians are Asian, but I believe that the original La Rus were Vikings. But, as you point out, as much as Russia wants to consider itself part of Europe ... it ain't.

Posted by: ThePrimordialOrderedPair at September 08, 2015 04:05 PM (zc3Db)

205 You go, Ewok!
Posted by: Alicia Keyes at September 08, 2015 04:04 PM (E5UB0)

------

In this thread ...... E-Wok

Posted by: fixerupper at September 08, 2015 04:05 PM (8XRCm)

206 You mean Asians, right?

====


Which? The white, black, yellow or red ones? Its a big continent

Posted by: I Am Groot at September 08, 2015 04:05 PM (Cq0oW)

207 I've read better poems written by 15 year old goth girls.

Posted by: Chupacabras at September 08, 2015 04:05 PM (CGjum)

208 I have a friend who has the kind of name that is commonly perceived as "black." She's isn't black, though -- she's totally white.

I can't reveal the exact name here, for obvious reasons, but it's along the lines of "Yolanda Washington" or "Latasha Jones."

Posted by: zombie at September 08, 2015 04:02 PM (jBuUi)




Is her name "Airwrecka McBride?"


http://tinyurl.com/ncvam4b

Posted by: Country Singer, Laid Back Asian Man at September 08, 2015 04:07 PM (nL0sw)

209 >>, an "Oriental" is a blow job lasting less than three minute


They are an efficient people.

Posted by: Garrett at September 08, 2015 04:07 PM (ZHZBE)

210 It's funny that the construct that is biological fact - sex, you've got one set of chromosomes or you've got the other or you're a lizard - is the one that the left wants people to be able to disavow.

While race - which has largely been mixed and mingled ever since wandering prehistoric man figured out how to distill Everclear for the local girls wherever he happened to be - is clear and immutable for all progressive purposes.

Posted by: The Devoceleraptor at September 08, 2015 04:07 PM (o+SC1)

211 There once was a man from Tai-Pei.
Who wasn't Asian at all, so you say.....

....So he went to Nantuckett.....

Posted by: Norman at September 08, 2015 04:07 PM (CYS6Q)

212
"Phil Yu, the blogger better known as Angry Asian Man, wrote "if there is such a thing as employing yellowface in poetry, this has to be it."


Honorable brother have head up his ass."


Phil Yu, some hotshot.

Posted by: Lady in Calgon commercial at September 08, 2015 04:07 PM (OD2ni)

213 here's part of the poem:

--------

Well..... that reads ALOT like a bunch of Jose Conseco haikus...

Posted by: fixerupper at September 08, 2015 04:07 PM (8XRCm)

214 not rhyme-y enough

Posted by: buzzsaw90 at September 08, 2015 04:07 PM (/eTPT)

215 So now using a nom de plume is racist?

If everything is racist (sexist, ageist, etc) then nothing is.

Posted by: steve walsh at September 08, 2015 04:07 PM (UPLmD)

216 George Eliiot

Willa Cather

Edith Wharton

Posted by: FenelonSpoke at September 08, 2015 04:08 PM (OSs/l)

217 Since SMOD is taunting us, at least we have the Siberian Zombie Virus to start the ZA.

Yaaaaay.


http://news.yahoo.com/frankenvirus-emerges-siberias-frozen-wasteland-142859117.html

Posted by: alexthechick - Yeah I give up at September 08, 2015 04:08 PM (mf5HN)

218 Most Russians are Asian, but I believe that the original La Rus were
Vikings. But, as you point out, as much as Russia wants to consider
itself part of Europe ... it ain't.>>>

Which has given them a inferiority complex that has led to a whole lot of killing over the past several centuries.

Posted by: Buzzsaw at September 08, 2015 04:08 PM (tf9Ne)

219 E-Wok! ha! Slap! I get it!!

Posted by: goon at September 08, 2015 04:08 PM (gy5kE)

220 And really, if music were about music, we'd know the names of the session players that are on almost every album.

Posted by: Chupacabras at September 08, 2015 04:08 PM (CGjum)

221 re 194: real poetry for many decades has generally had no sort of rhyming or phrasing.

from an article about repairing laptops:

We live and work in a cold, cruel world where our laptops take a lot of abuse. Regardless of how gentle we try to be, it's inevitable that sooner or later our notebooks will get dropped, spilled on and worse.

poetry:

We live and work in a cold,
cruel world where
our laptops take a lot of abuse. Regardless
of how gentle we try to
be, it's inevitable that sooner or later our
notebooks will get dropped,
spilled on
and worse.

now read it with heavy breathing and lots of feeling. Bingo.

Posted by: Mahatma Coat at September 08, 2015 04:08 PM (qSIlh)

222 Huh!
Huh?

That's my shorter poem. It's better, but I'm a white guy, so

Bumblebees.

Posted by: USA at September 08, 2015 04:08 PM (tfM+W)

223 Actually, this is kind of good. Bad to mediocre to able white guys will be winnowed out, leaving only the most talented.

On the other hand, this AA crap will degrade the quality of works from politically correct groups. And the lefties will still keep raging in a bewildered fashion why the white guys keep finishing first. Same as the Muzzies wonder why they don't control the world right now, given that Allah is on their side.

Posted by: Caitlyn Jenner at September 08, 2015 04:09 PM (E5UB0)

224 >>. Knowing the arts are nearly fully politicized now breaks it even more.



This isn't a new thing. Perhaps the racial component, but the Literary Arts have been political for ages.

Posted by: Garrett at September 08, 2015 04:10 PM (ZHZBE)

225 What was it called? The soft racism of low expectations?

Posted by: Chupacabras at September 08, 2015 04:10 PM (CGjum)

226 From AtC's link:
Scientists said they will reanimate a 30,000-year-old giant virus unearthed in the frozen wastelands of Siberia

O_o

Have these people never read a book or seen a movie? Ever?

There is only one way this ends.

Posted by: AllenG (DedicatedTenther) - Fire-hooks and Rock Salt for sale at September 08, 2015 04:10 PM (kff5f)

227 Which has given them a inferiority complex that has led to a whole lot of killing over the past several centuries.


Posted by: Buzzsaw at September 08, 2015 04:08 PM (tf9Ne)


Not nearly enough, IMHO.

Posted by: goon at September 08, 2015 04:10 PM (gy5kE)

228 I want to thank the city council of Brattleboro for passing a 1/2 % sales tax increase within the city limits to raise money to build a Gay and lesbian animal hospital/clinic to help those animals with different life styles or the life styles of their owners. We challenge other cities to do the same as Brattleboro and stop spending money on follish things like more police and new stop ligts when the old ones work fine.

Posted by: Mary Clogginstein from Brattleboro, VT at September 08, 2015 04:10 PM (lNSdJ)

229

Barry Soetoro
Jonathan Stuart Leibowitz
Thomas Cruise Mapother IV

Posted by: artisanal 'ette at September 08, 2015 04:10 PM (qCMvj)

230 191
They story of her lie = The story of her life

Sheesh

Posted by: zombie at September 08, 2015 04:10 PM (jBuUi)

231 "I'm unclear how this is different than Dolezal or the BLM dude. An individual is profiting because they can pretend to be a different race."


It's a dude using double standards within the industry to advance his own work

He's wrong for doing it.
The industry is a bunch of lying liars who lie about double standards not existing.

A perfect collision.


Just like the Rachel Dolezal (Now with more fetus) clown show.

Posted by: Village Idiot's Apprentice at September 08, 2015 04:11 PM (VPLuQ)

232 Scientists said they will reanimate a 30,000-year-old giant virus unearthed in the frozen wastelands of Siberia, and warned climate change may awaken dangerous microscopic pathogens.

Um.......?
We know not to do this with dinos. So, why????

Posted by: Lizzy at September 08, 2015 04:11 PM (NOIQH)

233 #RealChinesePoetryMatters

Posted by: Ho Lo Bang at September 08, 2015 04:11 PM (e8kgV)

234 re 199: if you meant Virginia Woolf, I read three of her novels some years ago and would sooner read Zeppo Marx's autobiography again than read another volume of her plodding prose.

Posted by: Mahatma Coat at September 08, 2015 04:11 PM (qSIlh)

235

"Phil Yu" = false advertising

Everyone knows that Asians are not so filling.


Posted by: imp at September 08, 2015 04:11 PM (XIXZz)

236 O_o

Have these people never read a book or seen a movie? Ever?

There is only one way this ends.
Posted by: AllenG (DedicatedTenther) - Fire-hooks and Rock Salt for sale at September 08, 2015 04:10 PM (kff5f)



No, no, no, they aren't going to reanimate it until they prove it's totes safe first.

Totes.

I mean, there's noooooo way that can go wrong.

Posted by: alexthechick - Yeah I give up at September 08, 2015 04:11 PM (mf5HN)

237 220 And really, if music were about music, we'd know the names of the session players that are on almost every album.
Posted by: Chupacabras
---------------------
Tell us about it!

Posted by: Deny Diaz & Skunk Baxter at September 08, 2015 04:12 PM (XeiJX)

238 There once was a man from Tai-Pei.
Who wasn't Asian at all, so you say
They discovered his ruse
While he was trying on shoes
And saw his dick got in the way

Posted by: Insomniac at September 08, 2015 04:12 PM (2Ojst)

239 This isn't a new thing. Perhaps the racial component, but the Literary Arts have been political for ages.
Posted by: Garrett at September 08, 2015 04:10 PM (ZHZBE)

I'm old. I read very old books.

Posted by: troyriser at September 08, 2015 04:12 PM (XHR9b)

240 great wimmin authors with Chinese names, you ask?


Erica Jong


esp that line about her being so aroused that she 'could mop up the streets of Vienna with my underpants'. Context, man; it's all about context

Posted by: emphatic Asian commenter at September 08, 2015 04:12 PM (8CdUx)

241 But, as you point out, as much as Russia wants to consider itself part of Europe ... it ain't.

How is it not? Don't we use the Urals as a dividing line? Moscow has all the neoclassical architecture of any city on the Danube. And their aristocracy were all the same Krautish louts as the rest of Europe's.

St. Petersburg is on the Baltic, (oh I cheated and looked this up, I thought St. Petersburg was a Hanseatic city, but Novgorod was).

Posted by: Bandersnatch at September 08, 2015 04:12 PM (JtwS4)

242 Remember the island of Lesbos?

it's got problems.


http://www.weaselzippers.us/?p=233774

Posted by: Village Idiot's Apprentice at September 08, 2015 04:12 PM (VPLuQ)

243 Hey, Ace, don't be too hard on naming blue flowers blue flowers. It worked for Sinclair Lewis in Babbit. Guy got a Nobel prize for it.

Posted by: Alex at September 08, 2015 04:12 PM (lDNRa)

244 Honey do you ro o o ove
As good as you rook ?

Posted by: The Asianry Brothers at September 08, 2015 04:12 PM (3FBAK)

245 If there's one thing that really chaps my ass, it's poseurs pretending to be of another ethnicity to get ahead.

Posted by: Ward Churchill at September 08, 2015 04:13 PM (oKE6c)

246 217 Since SMOD is taunting us, at least we have the Siberian Zombie Virus to start the ZA.

Yaaaaay.


http://news.yahoo.com/frankenvirus-emerges-siberias-frozen-wasteland-142859117.html
Posted by: alexthechick - Yeah I give up at September 08, 2015 04:08 PM (mf5HN)



Hmmmm. I'm going to have to find me a guy with a crossbow. A guy with a bo staff. And a chick with a samurai sword.

Posted by: Buzzion at September 08, 2015 04:13 PM (z/Ubi)

247 Better than Pop

Posted by: USA at September 08, 2015 04:13 PM (tfM+W)

248 The song, "House of the Rising Sun" was written by a Japanese dude.

Posted by: Soona at September 08, 2015 04:13 PM (Fmupd)

249 >>I mean, there's noooooo way that can go wrong.


Tangentially, I so want my own dragon, "Lucky".

Posted by: Lizzy at September 08, 2015 04:13 PM (NOIQH)

250 Willa Cather?


like watching paint dry...

Posted by: emphatic Asian commenter at September 08, 2015 04:13 PM (8CdUx)

251 Wait, I thought we weren't yelling about Boehner et al in this thread.

Posted by: alexthechick - Yeah I give up at September 08, 2015 04:03 PM (mf5HN)


The lack of a spine and the absence of any moral compass does render it hard to distinguish between the Progressive and the garden variety politician.

To do so you have to look for the expression of smugness and sanctimoniousness on the Progressive's face while the politician tends towards unctuousness and sincerity.

Posted by: Mikey NTH - Autumnal Enormities have Arrived at the Outrage Outlet! at September 08, 2015 04:14 PM (hLRSq)

252 here once was a man from Tai-Pei.
Who wasn't Asian at all, so you say.....

....So he went to Nantucket.

But barfed in a bucket....

Posted by: FenelonSpoke at September 08, 2015 04:14 PM (OSs/l)

253 209
>>, an "Oriental" is a blow job lasting less than three minute





They are an efficient people.

Posted by: Garrett at September 08, 2015 04:07 PM (ZHZBE)

That's a slanted perspective.

Posted by: rebel flounder at September 08, 2015 04:14 PM (Vf5rR)

254 Boy, that guy's poetry sucks. Nothing even about "crunchy figs."

Posted by: B. Hussein Obama at September 08, 2015 04:14 PM (oKE6c)

255 #RealChinesePoetryMatters

Posted by: Capt. Sum Ting Wong at September 08, 2015 04:15 PM (e8kgV)

256 Why yes, I do indeed have ninety-nine difficulties at this time ... but an irksome young lass simply is not on that list.

Posted by: White Z at September 08, 2015 04:15 PM (3FBAK)

257 Just so you all know, my moniker here is my astrological symbol - my CHINESE astrological symbol.

(Something to keep in mind as you peruse the comments, carefully reading some and skipping over others.)

Posted by: FireHorse at September 08, 2015 04:15 PM (/LXLs)

258 242
Remember the island of Lesbos?



it's got problems.





http://www.weaselzippers.us/?p=233774

Posted by: Village Idiot's Apprentice at September 08, 2015 04:12 PM (VPLuQ)

Sounds like a sticky situation.

Posted by: rebel flounder at September 08, 2015 04:15 PM (Vf5rR)

259 Pro tip for Victoria Chang: to weed out imposters, next time include a driving test.

Posted by: Jay Guevara at September 08, 2015 04:15 PM (oKE6c)

260 People should not be judged on their names.

Posted by: Bo N. Herr at September 08, 2015 04:16 PM (Ui7Rt)

261 Imagine the award if he'd used my name.

Posted by: Al Sharpton at September 08, 2015 04:16 PM (53CCM)

262 I mean, there's noooooo way that can go wrong.

Posted by: alexthechick - Yeah I give up at September 08, 2015 04:11 PM (mf5HN)


Also, the US Government didn't store, and then lose, live anthrax (or whatever that was).

Posted by: AllenG (DedicatedTenther) - Fire-hooks and Rock Salt for sale at September 08, 2015 04:16 PM (kff5f)

263 >>Willa Cather?
like watching paint dry...


OMG, was just warning my son that he'll have to read some books for school that he won't like, with my example being "Death Comes to the Archbishop."

Posted by: Lizzy at September 08, 2015 04:16 PM (NOIQH)

264 Isn't that Cowboy Poetry ?

Posted by: Capt. Sum Ting Wong, Wi Tu Lo, Ho Lee Fuk and Bang Ding Ow at September 08, 2015 04:16 PM (e8kgV)

265 He sort of implies that minorities are published because we're minorities, not because of our work.

He doesn't imply it, he proves it.

Posted by: Grump928(c) at September 08, 2015 04:16 PM (evdj2)

266 94 I'm watering my lawn here in SoCal, and whenever anyone gives me the stink eye, I just tell them I self-identify as a delta smelt.
Posted by: Jay Guevara at September 08, 2015 03:48 PM (oKE6c)

I'm in Northern Clownifornia and I just tell anyone who asks about my lawn, "old man Brown can kiss my green ass"

Posted by: the Butcher at September 08, 2015 04:16 PM (fUjxW)

267 The best Jerry..THE BEST


Posted by: Bruce at September 08, 2015 03:35 PM (8ikIW)

Limericks actually rhyme, and are therefore unacceptable.

Posted by: Secundus at September 08, 2015 04:16 PM (8Neph)

268 Crap passed off as promoting different races is in and of itself racism.

Our first half black President cannot be criticized when he fucks up badly because to do so would be racist.

The soft bigotry as lowered expectations.

Posted by: Cheri at September 08, 2015 04:16 PM (oiNtH)

269 Remember the island of Lesbos?





it's got problems.



About to tip over? Get those 300 lb. Lesbians evenly distributed, for God's sake!

Posted by: Hank Johnson at September 08, 2015 04:17 PM (oKE6c)

270 Since SMOD is taunting us, at least we have the Siberian Zombie Virus to start the ZA.

Yaaaaay.

...
Posted by: alexthechick -



"Scientists said they will reanimate a 30,000-year-old giant virus unearthed in the frozen wastelands of Siberia,"

Oh, there's no way that could possibly go wrong.

Posted by: Bandersnatch at September 08, 2015 04:17 PM (JtwS4)

271 Not the Craw. The Craw.

Posted by: The Craw at September 08, 2015 04:17 PM (OD2ni)

272 the implication that it is
a poem because it is

broken into couplets, despite
there being no metrical reason,

is another academic pretension
that leaves the reader with no

other conclusion but that
poetry is dead.

if the author had simply written it out as it sounds, you'd get a paragraph of descriptive prose.

clang clang clang clang clang
clang clang clang clang clang

clang clang clang
clang clang clang

clang clang clang clang

clang.

Posted by: musical jolly chimp at September 08, 2015 04:17 PM (WTSFk)

273 Posted by: emphatic Asian commenter at September 08, 2015 04:13 PM (8CdUx)

I could name other fine women writers, but I think the point of the original post was that there are no great women writers which I disagree with. Besides, people often don't agree on who's  a good writer. I loathe Hemingway, yet (In keeping with the them of the poetry selection) some people think he's the bees knees. :^)

Posted by: FenelonSpoke at September 08, 2015 04:17 PM (OSs/l)

274 This all seems like yellow journalism.

(I might really be Asian, but I'm certainly no journalist )

Posted by: Connie Chung at September 08, 2015 04:17 PM (XeiJX)

275 They view an "ethnic" sounding name as superior and *pretend to* confer upon on it superior intelligence and morality.


FIFY

In reality, they think we are all inferior savages.

Posted by: chique d'afrique (the artist formerly known as african chick) at September 08, 2015 04:17 PM (SEFXb)

276 I've often thought it would be a great guerilla tactic for conservatives to have their kids apply to Ivy League Schools and list themselves as African-American en masse.

We've sat around waiting for the courts to strike it down but they never do.

Imagine hundreds of thousands of kids being denied entrance because they found out what skin color they are.

Posted by: Coolio at September 08, 2015 04:17 PM (bDiF7)

277 If there's one thing that really chaps my ass, it's poseurs pretending to be of another ethnicity to get ahead.

Speak for yourself, I am of Cherokee blood!

Posted by: Elizabeth Warren at September 08, 2015 04:18 PM (eoM8x)

278 >>>Most Russians are Asian, but I believe that the original La Rus were Vikings. But, as you point out, as much as Russia wants to consider itself part of Europe ... it ain't.

It really is, Muscovy is. The Czar was not asian, it was a typical european monarchy. Communism is German, again, european. The dominant ethnic group, the Rus, are white european. In what way is Russia asian?

Posted by: Not Mitt Romney at September 08, 2015 04:18 PM (TULs6)

279 I feel the onset of a ton of running and screaming whenever I hear rumors of "reanimating" ANYTHING! Will they never follow art? Must we always run and scream down dark sewage tunnels or beneath jungle canopies before they learn the lesson? Idiots! Maybe it would be best if Arab science was still running things, and doing the exploring. We'd be doing steam engines about now and I'd feel a whole lot safer ...

Posted by: goon at September 08, 2015 04:18 PM (gy5kE)

280 I seem to recall an author bio the publisher used for Obama's first book (unearthed by Breitbart) that claimed he was born in Kenya. Heh.

Posted by: Lizzy at September 08, 2015 04:18 PM (NOIQH)

281 re 243: Hey Babbitt!!!!

http://tinyurl.com/qxu9c9r

(warning: extreme violence)

Posted by: Mahatma Coat at September 08, 2015 04:18 PM (qSIlh)

282
There once was a man from Tai-Pei.
Who wasn't Asian at all, so you say.....
Posted by: FenelonSpoke at September 08, 2015 03:45 PM (OSs/l)

-------

So We spun him around.
Around and around
And he's still "disoriented" to this day.
Posted by: fixerupper at September 08, 2015 03:47 PM (8XRCm)
...............................
Ah, the old Chinese basket trick.

Posted by: Confucius say: at September 08, 2015 04:18 PM (wAQA5)

283 OMG, was just warning my son that he'll have to read some books for school that he won't like, with my example being "Death Comes to the Archbishop."

------

For some reason I've started that book about five times and never made it past the first 5 pages.

Great cure for Insomnia.

Posted by: SH at September 08, 2015 04:18 PM (gmeXX)

284

How does one chamber a round in the vagina?

http://www.wfaa.com/story/news/crime/2015/09/08/woman-with-pistol-in-vagina -charged-with-unlawful-carry/71888032/?utm_source=twitterfeed &utm_medium=twitter

Posted by: imp at September 08, 2015 04:19 PM (XIXZz)

285
Now, I haven't read the whole post, much less the original article (I'm totes an O.G. Moron). But after reading the poem excerpt, I can't help thinking the dude was actively trolling the publishing company.

As a side note, I've always had this fantasy of making a low-budget movie chock-stuffed with EVERY leftist Hollywood cliche I could think of, doing press where I earnestly embraced the lefty philosophy, at least, up until the Oscars. Where I would give a sneering Best Picture acceptance speech, chortling about how a political conservative pulled the wool over the eyes of a bunch of drug-addled jackasses in Hollywood and made a film that was INTENTIONALLY bad, but PC.

Posted by: IllTemperedCur at September 08, 2015 04:19 PM (1QsMy)

286 Re: the scientists reviving the zombie virus...

I love how *they* are about to do just that, and then turn around and blame GLOBAL WARMING!!!!

Posted by: AllenG (DedicatedTenther) - Fire-hooks and Rock Salt for sale at September 08, 2015 04:19 PM (kff5f)

287 I took some creative writing classes in college--that poem is actually not far off from what we read in "Best of" anthologies.

That is to say, contemporary poetry sucks ballz.

Posted by: Turd Ferguson at September 08, 2015 04:19 PM (VAsIq)

288 I'm so sick of every person being shoved into tiny categories and then judged by how well they do or do not fit into those categories when they do, well, anything at all. Individuals are individuals and should be judged as such.

Now, if you'll excuse me, that dino porn isn't going to read itself.

Posted by: alexthechick - Yeah I give up


We tried polling it your way but decided we needed new voters.

Posted by: Political Consultants at September 08, 2015 04:19 PM (c3y9H)

289 There once was a poem from Nantucket ...

Posted by: President Azzhole Obama at September 08, 2015 04:19 PM (e8kgV)

290
The Leftists are mad simply because he exposed their charade.


And from that line, a poem could be

Made. In America, it matters

Not. Whether you succeed or sneeze but

The color of your snot.

Posted by: Guy Mohawk at September 08, 2015 04:19 PM (ODxAs)

291 No, no, no, they aren't going to reanimate it until they prove it's totes safe first.

Totes.

I mean, there's noooooo way that can go wrong.



Seen that movie too.

Posted by: rickb223 at September 08, 2015 04:19 PM (W4LFA)

292 OMG, was just warning my son that he'll have to read some books for
school that he won't like, with my example being "Death Comes to the
Archbishop."




The Archbishop caught a break.

Posted by: Jay Guevara at September 08, 2015 04:20 PM (oKE6c)

293 Seems like this imposter needs his poetic license revoked.

Posted by: se pa moron at September 08, 2015 04:20 PM (sI4OA)

294 How is it not? Don't we use the Urals as a dividing line? Moscow has all the neoclassical architecture of any city on the Danube. And their aristocracy were all the same Krautish louts as the rest of Europe's.

A Russian History professor once told the class that Russia was best thought of as like Wile E. Coyote while Europe was the Road Runner.

Russia always lagged behind Europe due to its conquest by the Mongols and its sheer size. Russia would attempt to catch up at great exertion, but by the time it did, Europe would have moved ahead, chirping "Beep beep!" as it did so.

An example would be that Russia adopted serfdom in order to make itself more like Europe, but fully implemented it right before the French Revolution happened. It would only ditch serfdom in the late 19th century.

Even in the 20th century, Stalinism made Russia the apex of an early 20th century nation...in the 1970s, when steel factories were less important than computer tech.

Russia has always wanted to be in Europe, but sadly it's always been behind a bit.

Posted by: Bevel Lemelisk at September 08, 2015 04:20 PM (88fBD)

295 I liked "Death Comes For the Archbishop" but I would be willing to substitute Flannery O'Connor for Willa Cather as a great woman writer.

Posted by: FenelonSpoke at September 08, 2015 04:20 PM (OSs/l)

296 My brother and I joked about that. If I'd contacted agents as a woman or with a clear minority name, I'd have had many more responses.

There's absolutely no question that the publishing business is filled with abject retards these days, but the Chinese market is quite big, so perhaps they're thinking "hey, Chinese name, maybe more sales there!"

Posted by: Christopher Taylor at September 08, 2015 04:21 PM (39g3+)

297 I see a red door and I want to paint it ... white with starkly contrasting accents in black, stainless steel, and chrome. I would also like to observe and partake of unspeakable acts of sexual deviancy behind that door.

Posted by: The German Stones at September 08, 2015 04:21 PM (3FBAK)

298 All this over poetry. I can barely handle birthday cards and now you want me to read poetry.

Posted by: Penfold at September 08, 2015 04:21 PM (Fbt5B)

299 273 Posted by: emphatic Asian commenter at September 08, 2015 04:13 PM (8CdUx)
---
My sense is there are no great women authors. There are several good women authors. No female Tolstoy, Conrad, Faulkner, Melville, Dostoevsky.. The women are decidedly a level beneath great. My opinion.

Posted by: Puddin Head at September 08, 2015 04:21 PM (oDCMR)

300 I imagine it would be easier to get plastic surgery to look more asianized, than to get de-asianized.

I wonder what mutation is responsible for that look. Did it occur in several people at once or just one person?

Posted by: Caitlyn Jenner at September 08, 2015 04:22 PM (E5UB0)

301 damnit. i thought my comment was perceptive, but knew there would be brilliant cuts and jabs so i decided to post without reading any of the other comments. and, of course, now that i posted and read the other comments, brilliant and hilarious trumps my bland observation. i should have just left it at clang.

Posted by: musical jolly chimp at September 08, 2015 04:22 PM (WTSFk)

302 Ace, I *love* your thigh pouches.

Posted by: Shodu (she's a female Ewok--look it up, haters) at September 08, 2015 04:22 PM (VAsIq)

303 Speaking of Sympathy for the Devil, Motorhead covered it on their newest album, and it is way, way, good.

Posted by: Chupacabras at September 08, 2015 04:22 PM (CGjum)

304 Fleas. Adam had'em.
Because all men rape, and oppress.

And God is shiny, and light is rape, and oppress.

Kill Whitey, kill whitey, kill.

Where is my grant money, bitches? I want the Pope. I want a seat on the G8. And a pool, with robots.

Posted by: neal at September 08, 2015 04:22 PM (2z4UX)

305
No, no, no, they aren't going to reanimate it until they prove it's totes safe first.

Totes.

I mean, there's noooooo way that can go wrong.



Seen that movie too.
Posted by: rickb223 at September 08, 2015 04:19 PM (W4LFA)
................................
I'll do it, sir.

Posted by: Black Scientist Dude at September 08, 2015 04:22 PM (wAQA5)

306
in b4 I See London, I See France, I Go Pee Pee In My Pants!

Posted by: Soothsayer, now with a low profile tip and ergonomical handle at September 08, 2015 04:22 PM (WdCTZ)

307 Well, at least it wasn't a fucking haiku.

Posted by: that guy who hates haiku at September 08, 2015 04:22 PM (ZtFr+)

308 clang clang clang clang clang clang clang clang clang clang clang clang clang clang clang clang clang clang clang clang clang.
Posted by: musical jolly chimp at September 08, 2015 04:17 PM (WTSFk)


-----------------------------------


That's beautiful, man. Fucking beautiful. *weeps*

Posted by: Soona at September 08, 2015 04:22 PM (Fmupd)

309 Hey, can I get my poetry published too?

Posted by: Rick Shaw at September 08, 2015 04:22 PM (oKE6c)

310 He sort of implies that minorities are published because we're minorities, not because of our work.

He doesn't imply it, he proves it.

Posted by: Grump928(c) at September 08, 2015 04:16 PM (evdj2)


But think about how good he felt when he did that! He helped a poor, oppressed downtrodden poet get published (see how noble and generous I am!) and he showed those knuckle-draggers how much more enlightened and superior he was (see how I helped break the Asian-Poet ceiling!)


The Pharisee-like self-righteousness simply oozes out of the pores of Sherman Alexie.

Posted by: Mikey NTH - Autumnal Enormities have Arrived at the Outrage Outlet! at September 08, 2015 04:22 PM (hLRSq)

311 Err, the Stones I mean.

Posted by: Chupacabras at September 08, 2015 04:22 PM (CGjum)

312 Kil my landlord K-I-L

Posted by: Grump928(c) at September 08, 2015 04:23 PM (evdj2)

313
People should not be judged on their names.

Posted by: Bo N. Her

Thank you for recognizing my plight.

Posted by: Bony Knee Chapman at September 08, 2015 04:23 PM (OiFtZ)

314 All the gatekeepers in publishing are women. Agents, editors, acquisition desk, all of them. And they're not only frustrated would-be authors, but they are hard left literature degree-bearers fresh out of college looking to fix the world, right all wrongs, and reverse the domination of white european men in literature for far too long, sister. Its a joke.

But you know what? They can have their dying industry and keep the ashes of what was once their total dominance of publishing. I'll take 70% profits and total control over my own work, thank you.

Posted by: Christopher Taylor at September 08, 2015 04:23 PM (39g3+)

315 I am fairly certain someone has already pointed this out but.

Doesn't
Even
Rhyme

Posted by: AndrewsDad at September 08, 2015 04:23 PM (C2//T)

316 wait .. shit. It's C-I-L, isn't it?

dammit.

Posted by: Grump928(c) at September 08, 2015 04:23 PM (evdj2)

317 Hey, can I get my poetry published too?


Posted by: Rick Shaw at September 08, 2015 04:22 PM (oKE6c)

---------------
ISWYDT

Posted by: Penfold at September 08, 2015 04:24 PM (Fbt5B)

318 >> I liked "Death Comes For the Archbishop" but I would be willing to substitute Flannery O'Connor for Willa Cather as a great woman writer.

I think with some books it really depends on your age. That Cather book was just a bore for 16 year old me. I finally got around to reading "Wuthering Heights" in my 40's and man, did I hate that book. Apparently this book makes teen girls swoon? Gah!

Posted by: Lizzy at September 08, 2015 04:24 PM (NOIQH)

319

Rosie O'Donnell paraphrases:

"Ching-chong ching ching chong"

Posted by: imp at September 08, 2015 04:24 PM (XIXZz)

320 Yes, 30,000 year old virus reanimations. That's a great idea.

Jane Austen's writing is brilliant.

Posted by: Lea at September 08, 2015 04:24 PM (lIU4e)

321 clang clang clang clang clang clang clang clang clang clang clang clang clang clang clang clang clang clang clang clang clang.

Posted by: musical jolly chimp at September 08, 2015 04:17 PM (WTSFk)




The lyrics for Yoko Ono's next, long threatened, album?

Posted by: Jay Guevara at September 08, 2015 04:24 PM (oKE6c)

322 Lying poet lies
Cultural appropriates
Haters gonna hate

Posted by: Qoheleth at September 08, 2015 04:24 PM (iIzG7)

323 Tangentially, I so want my own dragon, "Lucky".
Posted by: Lizzy at September 08, 2015 04:13 PM (NOIQH)



http://bit.ly/1VM4bLL

Posted by: alexthechick - Yeah I give up at September 08, 2015 04:25 PM (mf5HN)

324 "Just not very good at all."
~~~

How bad were the poems it 'beat out'?

Posted by: socalcon at September 08, 2015 04:25 PM (vHlQ5)

325 Hey, can I get my poetry published too?
Posted by: Rick Shaw



ISWYDT.
Golf clap.

Posted by: rickb223 at September 08, 2015 04:25 PM (W4LFA)

326 The last poet I actually liked was Bukowski, and he was a woman-beating alcoholic.

Not sure he'd get much play in today's market.

Posted by: Chupacabras at September 08, 2015 04:25 PM (CGjum)

327
I never speak with Asian men because they only want to bone me, and I'm not into being boned but into the loving taco.

Posted by: Margaret Cho at September 08, 2015 04:25 PM (OiFtZ)

328 It really is, Muscovy is. The Czar was not asian, it was a typical european monarchy. Communism is German, again, european. The dominant ethnic group, the Rus, are white european. In what way is Russia asian?

Post-Mongol Russia considered Europe to be evil and wanted no part of it, owing to the fourth crusade's sake of Constantinople. They considered themselves inheritors of Byzantium and the Third Rome, and believed if the Third Rome fell it meant the end of the world. Mongolian rule had made Russia different from say France or England in ways they weren't different from each other.

It was only under Peter the Great that great effort was taken - with mixed success - to bring Russia into Europe.

Posted by: Bevel Lemelisk at September 08, 2015 04:26 PM (88fBD)

329 The new poetry: writing unimaginative mundane full sentences and arbitrarily breaking them up into lines because you're too lazy to put any effort into it.

Here's my contribution:

My friend tells me that Italian

men are specifically hot. And I say you must be kidding because everyone

knows that Scandinavian men - Danish, Norwegian

, Swedish - that's where it's

at. She agrees and adds that Finnish men are hot

,too, you know. But

I correct her and say that they aren't technically

Scandinavian. And anyway, how

many Finns has she met? She says, huh, then we

both agree that Frenchmen are

smelly and go on our way.

Posted by: chique d'afrique (the artist formerly known as african chick) at September 08, 2015 04:26 PM (SEFXb)

330

Forcing me to rhyme
You know it is a great crime
First you will blow me

Posted by: Grump928(c) at September 08, 2015 04:26 PM (evdj2)

331 I go back and forth over releasing things under my own name. I've created a strange situation where I have about 4 different pseudonyms that are used for various purposes.

Thus, my political satire and my bored housewife crap are published under different names and my young adult fantasy under yet another. My professional writing is published under whatever random pseudonym that the company chooses.

I decided to put my real name on the political satire because I decided that putting my real name on it is taking a stand.

Anyway sorry to be all me me me me me me me there, but I find the whole question of what an author calls himself to be rather interesting.

Posted by: Lauren at September 08, 2015 04:26 PM (TgyJ/)

332
I think we should all communicate with each other using lyrics from Stairway To Heaven. It makes me wonder. It makes me wonder.

Posted by: Soothsayer, now with a low profile tip and ergonomical handle at September 08, 2015 04:26 PM (WdCTZ)

333 The lyrics for Yoko Ono's next, long threatened, album?


Posted by: Jay Guevara at September 08, 2015 04:24 PM (oKE6c)

I thought that was AAAAAAAIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEAAAAA!

Posted by: Secundus at September 08, 2015 04:26 PM (bv/yq)

334 >>>Hudson's critics said the literary bait-and-switch was fraudulent, racist and fundamentally different from Charlotte Bronte publishing "Jane Eyre" under the name Currer Bell.

Certainly there is racism and fraud at work here, but not on Hudson's part.

>>>Phil Yu, the blogger better known as Angry Asian Man, wrote "if there is such a thing as employing yellowface in poetry, this has to be it."

Phil Yu? Phuk Yu.

Posted by: Caitlyn Jenner at September 08, 2015 04:26 PM (E5UB0)

335 How bad were the poems it 'beat out'?
Posted by: socalcon
-----

One poem had a line about apes and grapes or something.

Posted by: Political Consultants at September 08, 2015 04:26 PM (c3y9H)

336 278 >>>Most Russians are Asian, but I believe that the original La Rus were Vikings. But, as you point out, as much as Russia wants to consider itself part of Europe ... it ain't.

It really is, Muscovy is. The Czar was not asian, it was a typical european monarchy. Communism is German, again, european. The dominant ethnic group, the Rus, are white european. In what way is Russia asian?
------------------------------
They are of European phenotype but they have a distinct 'Asian' way of thinking. They straddle both continents and have been conquered by anyone coming by from the east so it should not be a surprise.

Posted by: Puddin Head at September 08, 2015 04:26 PM (oDCMR)

337 The Hugarian media may be different than ours:

Hungarian camerawoman for N1TV caught kicking and tripping refugees as they fled from police [photos, video] http://bit.ly/1hUjK52

Posted by: Mike Hammer, etc., etc. at September 08, 2015 04:27 PM (9mTYi)

338 NAMING OF PARTS




To-day we have naming of parts. Yesterday,

We had daily cleaning. And to-morrow morning,

We shall have what to do after firing. But to-day,

To-day we have naming of parts. Japonica

Glistens like coral in all of the neighboring gardens,

And to-day we have naming of parts.



This is the lower sling swivel. And this

Is the upper sling swivel, whose use you will see,

When you are given your slings. And this is the piling swivel,

Which in your case you have not got. The branches

Hold in the gardens their silent, eloquent gestures,

Which in our case we have not got.



This is the safety-catch, which is always released

With an easy flick of the thumb. And please do not let me

See anyone using his finger. You can do it quite easy

If you have any strength in your thumb. The blossoms

Are fragile and motionless, never letting anyone see

Any of them using their finger.



And this you can see is the bolt. The purpose of this

Is to open the breech, as you see. We can slide it

Rapidly backwards and forwards: we call this

Easing the spring. And rapidly backwards and forwards

The early bees are assaulting and fumbling the flowers:

They call it easing the Spring.



They call it easing the Spring: it is perfectly easy

If you have any strength in your thumb: like the bolt,

And the breech, and the cocking-piece, and the point of balance,

Which in our case we have not got; and the almond-blossom

Silent in all of the gardens and the bees going backwards and forwards,

For to-day we have naming of parts.

Posted by: Zombie Henry Reed at September 08, 2015 04:27 PM (fMQoG)

339 Hudson's bees
Were not their knees?
But, Chou's thigh pouches
Managed to please?


Posted by: OldDominionMom at September 08, 2015 04:27 PM (GzDYP)

340 Haha. I nominate Chique for Best Takedown of Bad Poetry.

Posted by: Lauren at September 08, 2015 04:27 PM (TgyJ/)

341
I shouted out, "who killed the Kennedys?" When after all, it was you and me.

Posted by: Soothsayer, now with a low profile tip and ergonomical handle at September 08, 2015 04:27 PM (WdCTZ)

342 The last poet I actually liked was Bukowski, and he was a woman-beating alcoholic.

Not sure he'd get much play in today's market.


Posted by: Chupacabras

Yeah, the Left hates a man who hits a woman.

Posted by: Bill Clinton at September 08, 2015 04:27 PM (VAsIq)

343 154 144 You would think boobies would give them an advantage at chess.

Otherwise Evil Ex-Girlfriend had lovely boobies and would strip when we played chess. I never won a game.
--------------------
So you never forked her?
Posted by: Jonah Goldberg at September 08, 2015 03:57 PM (oDCMR)

No, but I bet he "castled long"...

Posted by: Tex Lovera at September 08, 2015 04:27 PM (wtvvX)

344 It was only under Peter the Great that great effort was taken - with mixed success - to bring Russia into Europe.

Viking rape put a lot of Europe in Russia centuries before Peter.

Posted by: Bandersnatch at September 08, 2015 04:27 PM (JtwS4)

345 Ha-haw!

Posted by: Nelson to SJWs at September 08, 2015 04:28 PM (dEwvU)

346 >>http://bit.ly/1VM4bLL

Love it!

Posted by: Lizzy at September 08, 2015 04:28 PM (NOIQH)

347 Thus, my political satire and my bored housewife crap are published under different names and my young adult fantasy under yet another. My professional writing is published under whatever random pseudonym that the company chooses.

Everything I print is in my name. I don't really care if anyone knows and I've heard its really tough to build a reliable brand and fan base if you use pseudonyms. However, in the internet age? Maybe not such an issue any longer, considering how easy it is to dig up info on people.

Posted by: Christopher Taylor at September 08, 2015 04:28 PM (39g3+)

348 >>>Russia has always wanted to be in Europe, but sadly it's always been behind a bit.

If you compare it to the most successful Euro empires. What if you just compare it to states? There are lots of poor places in Europe. Is Russia so backwards compared to Greece? Portugal? Ireland?

And besides the european governments (czarism and communism) and the ruling european ethnic population of slavs, they also have a european religion, orthodox christianity. And a european alphabet - Cyrillic.

Posted by: Not Mitt Romney at September 08, 2015 04:28 PM (TULs6)

349 Yes, 30,000 year old virus reanimations. That's a great idea.

Jane Austen's writing is brilliant.


Bliss and Bacteriophage, the recently-discovered final novel of Jane Austen!

Posted by: Penguin Classics presents at September 08, 2015 04:28 PM (ZtFr+)

350 "I'll take 70% profits and total control over my own work, thank you."

*high five*

Posted by: Lauren at September 08, 2015 04:28 PM (Pul1H)

351 "And it diminishes categorically all of our accomplishments.'

What really diminishes your accomplishments is that you need a rigged contest to accomplish anything.

Posted by: CJ at September 08, 2015 04:28 PM (9KqcB)

352 Posted by: Soothsayer, now with a low profile tip and ergonomical handle at September 08, 2015 04:26 PM (WdCTZ)

There's a bustle in your hedgerow.

Like you didn't know.

Posted by: Secundus at September 08, 2015 04:28 PM (bv/yq)

353 wait a minute, that's what prize winning modern poetry even sounds like? it's just pointless babbling. No wonder I don't read poetry, I'm not missing anything.

Posted by: azjaeger at September 08, 2015 04:28 PM (ubkaX)

354 How bad were the poems it 'beat out'?
Posted by: socalcon

____________________________________________

I think they are judged on a slope.

Posted by: Countrysquire, feeling reasonably fresh down there at September 08, 2015 04:29 PM (eEBON)

355 I thought that was AAAAAAAIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEAAAAA!>>>

Watch it there buddy that's copyrighted.

Posted by: Howard Dean's lawyers at September 08, 2015 04:29 PM (tf9Ne)

356 Because this matters, how?

I mean, seriously, who gives a shit?

Here's something else to publish, here at the beginning of the school year:

If you are a High School English Teacher, teaching "literature?" Yeah, you're a parasite. You suck our blood and give us essentially nothing in return. Every time a kid asks "when will I need this in real life?" and you smile indulgently? Yeah, you're wrong and they are write. Emily Dickinson, Hemingway, Bronte, eecummings and the rest of them are a COLOSSAL waste of time.

I read Hemingway - he wasn't as good as Stephen King, even though Hemingway was cool and King is a dick. I read Poe. Meh. I read Emily Dickinson and somehow survived with my scrotum intact. Charles Dickens was OK, sometimes.

And here's the thing: like most "readers," I've been reading voraciously since I was around 8 years old. You couldn't, and can't, keep me away from books. I'm so "well read," it's disgusting. I read history. I read economics. I read political theory. I read science.

I read Shit That Matters.

And once in a blue moon, I'll read poetry. Usually Frost, but not always.

And this is how I know: you truly did waste a huge amount of my time, and a huge amount of our tax dollars. I should have been learning more Science, or Computer Programming, or sports, or languages, or damned near anything else.

Instead of writing Essays, I should have been taught How To Communicate For Business. Today that would include How To Make You Tube Videos.

For a graduate of 2016 to read James Joyce or - worse! - write an essay on "why it matters" is as pure a waste of time as I can think of.

Posted by: RobM1981 at September 08, 2015 04:29 PM (zurJC)

357 And still there are mexican tampon ads? I think Jeb hacked the site just to humiliate ace.

Posted by: Caitlyn Jenner at September 08, 2015 04:29 PM (E5UB0)

358
There's still time to change the road you're on.

Posted by: Soothsayer, now with a low profile tip and ergonomical handle at September 08, 2015 04:29 PM (WdCTZ)

359 The lyrics for Yoko Ono's next, long threatened, album? Posted by: Jay Guevara at September 08, 2015 04:24 PM (oKE6c)


------------------------------------------


SSSHHHHH! Maet might be lurking.

Posted by: Soona at September 08, 2015 04:29 PM (Fmupd)

360 I remember a Chinese Poem...or was it a joke, I'm not sure but I think it was racist !!11! It went something like this:

What time does the china-man go to the dentist ?
Answer: 2:30


Think about it.... it will come to you...


Posted by: RonUSA at September 08, 2015 04:29 PM (EaqMa)

361
if you meant Virginia Woolf, I read three of her novels some years ago and would sooner read Zeppo Marx's autobiography again than read another volume of her plodding prose.

Posted by: Mahatma Coat at September 08, 2015 04:11 PM (qSIlh)









The best thing that Virginia Woolf ever did was her involvement in the Dreadnought Hoax.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dreadnought_hoax

Posted by: IllTemperedCur at September 08, 2015 04:29 PM (1QsMy)

362 Me Chinese,
me play joke /
Me put peepee,
in your coke.


Now give me a damn Newbery prize.

Posted by: Totally Chinese Guy at September 08, 2015 04:30 PM (t5sHJ)

363 Can anyone tell me why I give a flying fcuk about China anymore?

Posted by: Ai Weiwei at September 08, 2015 04:30 PM (ahBY0)

364 "I seem to recall an author bio the publisher used for Obama's first book
(unearthed by Breitbart) that claimed he was born in Kenya. Heh."

When that subject came up, Obama's publishers panicked and immediately claimed that it wasn't Obama's fault, it was totally on them, and it was their normal practice at that time to have anonymous low level interns write the authorial bios in-house for inclusion in the publishers' catalogue.

So it was obviously the fault of the unnamed intern from years past, who could not be reached for comment, that Obama's bio made the "born in Kenya" claim. Based on what again exactly? The publisher refused to say.

Someone actually had the bright idea to contact another one of the authors whose book and bio had appeared in the same edition of the catalogue as Obama's book and bio.

He said, to the no doubt immense chagrin of the publishers, that he had never heard of any such system of bios being written for authors by third parties. The publishers had asked him to write his own bio blurb and send it in to them, he had complied, and they then had printed it in the catalogue exactly as he had provided it. Word for word.

So, yeah, it's pretty obvious that Obama himself has at times used the "born in Kenya" bit when he found it advantageous to do so, and discarded it just as easily when it was disadvantageous. For instance, when having to claim to be qualified to stand for the Presidency.

Posted by: torquewrench at September 08, 2015 04:30 PM (noWW6)

365 I wrote a poem:

My lily-white ass
Is second class
In my own country.
If I were person of color
I could just holler
And it would all be rumbly rumbly.

- Malik Kwanza Sh-Boom

Posted by: The Great ____ Snark at September 08, 2015 04:30 PM (XUKZU)

366 Save us Hot Topless Redheads! You're our only hope.

Posted by: Grump928(c) at September 08, 2015 04:31 PM (evdj2)

367 You would think boobies would give them an advantage at chess.

Otherwise Evil Ex-Girlfriend had lovely boobies and would strip when we played chess. I never won a game.
--------------------
So you never forked her?
Posted by: Jonah Goldberg



What a rook!

Posted by: rickb223 at September 08, 2015 04:31 PM (W4LFA)

368 Meh.

Needs moar under water grottos.

Posted by: Phinn at September 08, 2015 04:31 PM (DLUnW)

369 Thigh-pouches? I know about those.

Posted by: Hillary! at September 08, 2015 04:31 PM (ZWRoJ)

370 They are of European phenotype but they have a distinct 'Asian' way of thinking. They straddle both continents and have been conquered by anyone coming by from the east so it should not be a surprise.

Posted by: Puddin Head at September 08, 2015 04:26 PM (oDCMR)

RUSSIAN, noun. A person with a Caucasian body and a Mongolian soul.

--Ambrose Bierce

Posted by: Secundus at September 08, 2015 04:31 PM (bv/yq)

371 Bliss and Bacteriophage, the recently-discovered final novel of Jane Austen!
Posted by: Penguin Classics presents at September 08, 2015 04:28 PM (ZtFr+)


Ha! I feel like I need to write a book about Elizabeth Bennett fighting off an old reanimated virus now.

Posted by: Lea at September 08, 2015 04:32 PM (lIU4e)

372 It's not literary work, but Agatha Christie was great.

Posted by: chique d'afrique (the artist formerly known as african chick) at September 08, 2015 04:32 PM (SEFXb)

373 He may ride forever 'neath the streets of Boston
He's the man
Who never returned.

Posted by: The New Christie Minstrels at September 08, 2015 04:32 PM (c3y9H)

374 Remember Rik from the Young Ones?

http://preview.tinyurl.com/q5yv7cv

Posted by: Caitlyn Jenner at September 08, 2015 04:32 PM (E5UB0)

375 "Yes, 30,000 year old virus reanimations. That's a great idea."

Necromance if we want to
Necromance all the time
But your friends aren't dead
And if they aren't dead
Then they're no friends of mine

Posted by: Qoheleth at September 08, 2015 04:32 PM (iIzG7)

376 In '98 I bought a copy of America's Best Poems because I like to read good poetry. I still want my money back.

I think everyone's missing the real opportunity here. There's a lot of liberal money out there that wants to be taken.

You don't even need a quality product, just a persona.

Posted by: heartofdarkness at September 08, 2015 04:32 PM (MQ0Jr)

377 Is all the feminine hygiene ads in Spanish because too many have said that Jeb is a bleeding pussy here?
Posted by: Buzzion at September 08, 2015 03:54 PM (z/Ubi)
---
Beat me to it. I thought you were deceased.

Posted by: Caitlyn Jenner at September 08, 2015 04:33 PM (E5UB0)

378
Pigeons on the grass alas.
Pigeons on the grass alas.
Short longer grass short longer longer shorter yellow grass. Pigeons
large pigeons on the shorter longer yellow grass alas pigeons on the
grass.

Posted by: Gertrude Stein, widely admired for something, something at September 08, 2015 04:33 PM (9mTYi)

379
Where now are the horse and the rider? Where is the horn that was blowing?
Where is the helm and the hauberk, and the bright hair flowing?
Where is the harp on the harpstring, and the red fire glowing?
Where is the spring and the harvest and the tall corn growing?
They have passed like rain on the mountain, like a wind in the meadow;
The days have gone down in the West behind the hills into shadow.
Who shall gather the smoke of the deadwood burning,
Or behold the flowing years from the Sea returning?

Posted by: Grump928(c) at September 08, 2015 04:33 PM (evdj2)

380 I read Hemingway - he wasn't as good as Stephen King, even though
Hemingway was cool and King is a dick. I read Poe. Meh. I read Emily
Dickinson and somehow survived with my scrotum intact. Charles Dickens
was OK, sometimes.




Some of the classics are nigh unto unreadable. One I remember started with two hundred pages of Russian genealogy. Pretty engaging stuff. Kinda like reading the phone book.

Posted by: Jay Guevara at September 08, 2015 04:33 PM (oKE6c)

381 Nood Warren

Posted by: Buzzsaw at September 08, 2015 04:34 PM (tf9Ne)

382 " I don't really care if anyone knows and I've heard its really tough to build a reliable brand and fan base if you use pseudonyms"

Yeah, I'm sure it probably has serious downfalls. I just figured that any fan base I developed would be wildly divergent between the groups. I mean, wouldn't you be sort of shocked to find William Gibson* writing bodice rippers?**

Actually, that might be awesome.

*Not comparing myself to William Gibson

**Also, do not write bodice rippers

Posted by: Lauren at September 08, 2015 04:34 PM (Pul1H)

383 A mos

quito just bit

me. Shoulda

used OFF.

Posted by: chique d'afrique (the artist formerly known as african chick) at September 08, 2015 04:34 PM (SEFXb)

384 >>>They are of European phenotype but they have a distinct 'Asian' way of thinking. They straddle both continents and have been conquered by anyone coming by from the east so it should not be a surprise.

Continents are meaningless as it relates to peoples or countries. Continents are geology. North Africa and sub-Saharan Africa are the same continent but North Africa is more European (these days middle eastern) than African. And much of the middle east and western central Asia as well as north Africa used to be a part of Europe until Islam over-ran it.

As for their distinct way of asian thinking - czarism historically, communism in the 20th century and orthodox christianity forms their thinking. Certainly not Confucianism.

Posted by: Not Mitt Romney at September 08, 2015 04:34 PM (TULs6)

385 Poem:

To A Crippled Girl

It's not your peg-leg,

It's not your hook.

What turns me on

Is that spastic look.

Posted by: Soona at September 08, 2015 04:35 PM (Fmupd)

386 Have read better garbage here than that garbage every day for years.

Posted by: sifty at September 08, 2015 04:35 PM (cT+cB)

387 I think it really depends on the person. Certain books matter to me. They always have and I remember them long after I read them. We're they practical? Probably not, but the fact that I have read some of them over about 10 times means I have spent a good deal of my time with them. I don't know why anyone should be the sole arbriter of what matters as far as reading-not you, not me not anyone. Unless you're suggesting that no literature should be taught in school?

Posted by: FenelonSpoke at September 08, 2015 04:35 PM (OSs/l)

388 It's not literary work, but Agatha Christie was great.

See, here's my question: by what metric is Agatha Christie "not literary work?"

Few types of fiction are harder to write than mystery. A mystery novel hits all of those "literary" thing you learn in HS (and even college) lit classes - characterization, foreshadowing, etc. And Agatha Christie was incredibly popular.

So is that the metric? Your work's literary value is inversely proportional to how popular it is?

I will actually suggest that, yes, that is exactly the metric - with very, very rare exceptions.

Posted by: AllenG (DedicatedTenther) - Fire-hooks and Rock Salt for sale at September 08, 2015 04:35 PM (kff5f)

389 Also, the Mongolians didn't stop at Kiev they conquered much of modern Europe, as did the Turks.

Posted by: Not Mitt Romney at September 08, 2015 04:35 PM (TULs6)

390 190 176 It's ironic that white men need to use pen names to get published. Remember when women had to use male pen names? Some of their efforts have been considered some the best ever written; An inconvenient truth I suppose.
----------------------------
Name three great women authors.
_______________________________________

3 great works by female authors with male pseudonyms:
Nelle Harper Lee/Harper Lee: To Kill A Mockingbird.
Charlotte Bronte/Currer Bell: Jane Eyre
Louisa Mary Alcott/A.M Barnard: Little Women

There are several more albeit their "greatness" is subjective.

Posted by: Walknot at September 08, 2015 04:36 PM (FnHBZ)

391
Tikki Tikki tembo no sarembo chari bari ruchi pip perry pembo has fallen into the well.

Posted by: fixerupper at September 08, 2015 04:36 PM (8XRCm)

392 Shades of Martin Eden!

Posted by: Ponsonby Britt at September 08, 2015 04:36 PM (tNSR3)

393 Lost in a Roman wilderness of pain
And all the children are insane
All the children are insane
Waiting for the summer rain
There's danger on the edge of town
Ride the king's highway
Weird scenes inside the goldmine
Ride the highway West baby
------------------
This is an example of what I expect from Asian poets.

Posted by: Puddin Head at September 08, 2015 04:36 PM (oDCMR)

394 He said, to the no doubt immense chagrin of the
publishers, that he had never heard of any such system of bios being
written for authors by third parties. The publishers had asked him to
write his own bio blurb and send it in to them, he had complied, and
they then had printed it in the catalogue exactly as he had provided it.
Word for word.




Posted by: torquewrench at September 08, 2015 04:30 PM (noWW6)

Of course. That's standard procedure. Who knows someone's bio better than the person? Besides which, there might be aspects that the author would prefer glossed over or maybe left out entirely.

Posted by: Jay Guevara at September 08, 2015 04:37 PM (oKE6c)

395 Here's a poem I wrote way long ago that I always thought was cool. It was during my punk days where black was all I wore (late 70's). It is called "Worm"

Worm...
slip, slide,
subterranean slime
you are not worth.
the earth
that envelopes you.
Worm.

Oh, the happy days of yutes.

Posted by: eureka! at September 08, 2015 04:37 PM (g1MTt)

396 3 great works by female authors with male pseudonyms:

Nelle Harper Lee/Harper Lee: To Kill A Mockingbird.

Charlotte Bronte/Currer Bell: Jane Eyre

Louisa Mary Alcott/A.M Barnard: Little Women



There are several more albeit their "greatness" is subjective.

Posted by: Walknot at September 08, 2015 04:36 PM (FnHBZ)/i]
Who was it who wrote "Meter Maids in Bondage?"

That was a great book.

Posted by: Jay Guevara at September 08, 2015 04:38 PM (oKE6c)

397 I think they are judged on a slope.
Posted by: Countrysquire
--------------
Golf clap.

Posted by: Connie Chung at September 08, 2015 04:38 PM (XeiJX)

398 This is just as bad as Anthony Weiner adopting a fake hispanic name and occupying a slot meant for a qualified minority pervert.

Posted by: Semiliterate Thug at September 08, 2015 04:38 PM (WAjuC)

399
Life and Death have been in love since the beginning.

Life brings death millions of presents.

And Death keeps them forever.

Posted by: fixerupper at September 08, 2015 04:39 PM (8XRCm)

400 The last poet I actually liked was Bukowski, and he was a woman-beating alcoholic.

Not sure he'd get much play in today's market.


Posted by: Chupacabras at September 08, 2015 04:25 PM (CGjum)


You've perhaps never heard of this new thing called Hip Hop, or Rap?
Your pal Bukowski could perhaps do well there, but that name of his....

Posted by: OneEyedJack at September 08, 2015 04:39 PM (kKHcp)

401 You watched Sex and the City?? All these years I thought Ace was a guy . . .

Posted by: bof at September 08, 2015 04:39 PM (Bu4wL)

402 I get the contempt for what is called poetry today, but there's great stuff out there.

HALF a league, half a league,
Half a league onward,
All in the valley of Death
Rode the six hundred.
'Forward, the Light Brigade!
Charge for the guns! ' he said:
Into the valley of Death
Rode the six hundred.

'Forward, the Light Brigade! '
Was there a man dismay'd?
Not tho' the soldier knew
Some one had blunder'd:
Their's not to make reply,
Their's not to reason why,
Their's but to do and die:
Into the valley of Death
Rode the six hundred.

Posted by: Bill Clinton at September 08, 2015 04:40 PM (VAsIq)

403
190 176 It's ironic that white men need to use pen names to get published. Remember when women had to use male pen names? Some of their efforts have been considered some the best ever written; An inconvenient truth I suppose.
----------------------------
Name three great women authors.
_______________________________________

3 great works by female authors with male pseudonyms:
Nelle Harper Lee/Harper Lee: To Kill A Mockingbird.
Charlotte Bronte/Currer Bell: Jane Eyre
Louisa Mary Alcott/A.M Barnard: Little Women

There are several more albeit their "greatness" is subjective.

Posted by: Walknot at September 08, 2015 04:36 PM (FnHBZ)









You, monseiur, are le suck.

Posted by: Zombie George Sand at September 08, 2015 04:41 PM (1QsMy)

404 Oops--sock fail. Bill Clinton probably does not like Tennyson.

Posted by: Turd Ferguson at September 08, 2015 04:41 PM (VAsIq)

405 Re: my white artist/writer friend with the "black-sounding" name:

The funniest/worst (i.e. most revealing) thing that has yet happened to her is that she was contacted by a radio station (in another city) to be interviewed live on-air about one of her successful projects.

She didn't research the station ahead of time and didn't really think much about the upcoming -over-the-phone interview.

Then the appointed day and time arrived, and about five minutes before the hour (as is standard for on-air radio phone interviews) the producer called to establish the connection and set the sound levels before putting the interview subject on hold for the moment the actual interview begins.

Well, the producer woman seemed a little taken aback by my friend's white accent, and after a minute of semi-probing racially-tinged questions, said "Hold on a moment," then put my friend on hold, and then came back 15 seconds later and abruptly announced that the interview was canceled, and hung up. This was one minute before it was scheduled to begin.

My friend once again had to sigh and conceded to herself that, a. She was chosen for the interview in the first place because they thought she was black, and b. Had it canceled because they found out she was white.

In fact, she's suffering from what I now dub "Faux Affirmative Action Inadequacy Syndrome," in which she has self-doubts and low self-esteem because she can never be completely sure whether any of her literary/artistic accomplishments have been on their own merits, or instead handed to her as mistaken attempts at Affirmative Action.

Posted by: zombie at September 08, 2015 04:42 PM (jBuUi)

406 Have any of you listened to modern "poets" recite their "poetry" is "slam poetry jams"?

It punctuated ranting where they rant and then randomly emphasize a word here and there.

This is what modern "poetry is like":

http://preview.tinyurl.com/q8fsr63

Posted by: The Poetic Hatr at September 08, 2015 04:42 PM (AM+tj)

407 AllenG, to me, literary stuff is the "high minded" stuff that often ends up boring. Agatha Christie wrote about murderers being committed for the basest of reasons and robberies and the like. Which is awesome.

I am a proud Philistine and I have no use for flowery language for the sake of being flowery.

Yes, I studied engineering. Why do you ask?

Posted by: chique d'afrique (the artist formerly known as african chick) at September 08, 2015 04:44 PM (SEFXb)

408
I know which way the current's flowin
I see which way the wind's a blowin
Opportunity's up and flown
Fields of blood to be sown

Posted by: Tilikum Killer Assault Whale at September 08, 2015 04:46 PM (uhftQ)

409 Jane Austen.

There have been good female authors. Is that really in question?

Posted by: chique d'afrique (the artist formerly known as african chick) at September 08, 2015 04:46 PM (SEFXb)

410 "I watched a flower - oh! and there's this bee -
The bee went "buzz" - the flower, it was blue;
I watched and watched and watched 'til ten of three
Then thought about some stuff 'til 4:02.

"I'll write a poem but I don't know how;
I'm not a poet. Alas, it is a curse;
Haiku by Basho: Those words strike you: POW!
But as for me, I just cannot write verse."

Good gracious, man! Just try to rhyme some words!
I don't expect a sonnet or the like,
A little bit of rewrite afterwards,
You might just make a real poem, Spike.

Poetic virtue, you don't own a trace;
But you'll get published if you yellowface.

Posted by: FireHorse at September 08, 2015 04:48 PM (3Ey9q)

411 Excellent, FireHorse.

Posted by: chique d'afrique (the artist formerly known as african chick) at September 08, 2015 04:50 PM (SEFXb)

412 I've never seen a poem
As lovely as my pee-pee.

Posted by: Anthony Weiner at September 08, 2015 04:51 PM (VAsIq)

413 There once was a man from Nan King,
Who couldn't (or wouldn't) stop wanking.
"Just can't put it down"
He said with a frown,
"I probably need a good spanking."

Posted by: real asian poet, totally at September 08, 2015 04:51 PM (wKcQA)

414 There have been good female authors. Is that really in question?

The poster above thinks there were no "great" ones. Once again, it depends on how one defines "great".

Posted by: FenelonSpoke at September 08, 2015 04:53 PM (OSs/l)

415 I like the poem. It's certainly not a good poem, but the last line amused me a bit, which is more than most contemporary poems manage to do.

Of course, if this is one of the best poems of the year, then poetry has definitely fallen on hard times.


Posted by: Brown Line at September 08, 2015 04:56 PM (zcbZo)

416 Thanks, chique!

(You're not just saying that because you think I'm Chinese, are you?)

Posted by: FireHorse at September 08, 2015 05:00 PM (3Ey9q)

417 The last poet I actually liked was Bukowski, and he was a woman-beating alcoholic.

Not sure he'd get much play in today's market.


Posted by: Chupacabras at September 08, 2015 04:25 PM (CGjum)


If he just changed it to Bukake he'd have no problem.

Posted by: ThePrimordialOrderedPair at September 08, 2015 05:00 PM (zc3Db)

418 The poster above thinks there were no "great" ones. Once again, it depends on how one defines "great".

Posted by: FenelonSpoke at September 08, 2015 04:53 PM (OSs/l)


Hitler was a great author.

Posted by: Louis Farrakhan at September 08, 2015 05:01 PM (zc3Db)

419 There once was a man from Tai-Pei
who wrote poems on toilet papier
they smelled quite a bit
also sounded like shit
and all began "Confucius say.."

Posted by: Hong Kong Fuey at September 08, 2015 05:06 PM (ats44)

420 Unofficial fall;
Ninety-frickin'-two degrees.
Yeah, it's still summer.

Posted by: FireHorse at September 08, 2015 05:10 PM (3Ey9q)

421 I've seen better poetry in crab meat recipes.

Posted by: Fritz at September 08, 2015 05:13 PM (3tjn4)

422 100
*recalls the Skoal Affair*
Posted by: Mike Hammer, etc., etc. at September 08, 2015 03:49 PM (9mTYi)

Sokal

Posted by: m at September 08, 2015 05:15 PM (ELEPX)

423 (You're not just saying that because you think I'm Chinese, are you?)

You'll be published because you're obviously Native American, FireHorse. ;^)

And I liked it too.

Posted by: FenelonSpoke at September 08, 2015 05:18 PM (OSs/l)

424 @54, um, women's leagues exist because they can't compete with men physically. If all sports were coed, there would be no female athletes. That is, itself, a concession to biological differences.

To note, those segregations do *not* exist for sexual orientation or race because those do not impact gameplay -- or, at least, not to the significant degree that sex does.

Applying those same segregations or prejudices is implicitly saying that women (or PoC) are mentally inferior to white men. That may be the argument you (or the biased judges) are intending to make, but then it should be explicit. Part of the insult is that it's a veiled insult.

Posted by: sunny-dee at September 08, 2015 05:28 PM (EBoCD)

425 Modern literature, including poetry, has been co-opted by the left. Through "deconstruction" and "postmodernism," they force all literature to fit into their SJW models of race, sex, ethnic policies. Also because they aren't intelligent enough to understand Keats, say, on his own terms, so they must invent their own.

So, yes - it's crap no matter who wrote it, and anyone selecting it for anything but the circular file has no business judging poetry, period.

Posted by: Adjoran at September 08, 2015 05:38 PM (QIQ6j)

426 They pointed out this phenomenon on Seinfeld when George's mom took Donna Chang's advice as sage when she thought she was Chinese but disregarded it as nonsense when it turned out she was white.

Posted by: gates at September 08, 2015 05:50 PM (2u8LP)

427 Stop criticizing my people. Did you ever try to rhyme a picture?

Posted by: Hung Low at September 08, 2015 06:20 PM (OC/e1)

428
"Frankly, I see far better Chinese poetry in Chinese restaurant menu item
naming. "

Fortune cookie poem:

Help me,

I'm am held captive,

in a cookie factory.

Posted by: Leung Dong Waang at September 08, 2015 06:23 PM (hHs1b)

429 No need for the overly dramatic name change to get published. He should have just made the bumble bee trans-gender (aka mentally ill) and he could have submitted under his own name.

Incidentally, this is the same mentality that ruined the Hugo Awards for Science Fiction and Fantasy. Substance had nothing to do with recognition...only the proper ideology or ethnicity was supported. Same deal here. The SJW's rule the roost of the unimportant....but they rule with an iron glove.

Posted by: OrsonSnow at September 08, 2015 06:44 PM (OgO9f)

430 Identify the following: "Ze, Hir, Hirs, Xe, Xem or Xyr".
a) geographical names
b) pronouns
c) famous poet names
d) all of the above
e) racist


Posted by: Desicat at September 08, 2015 06:48 PM (xXiRt)

431 Didn't Seinfeld do an episode about this?
Some white chick with a Chinese name or somesuch.

Posted by: Jack O'Spades at September 08, 2015 06:53 PM (xQZ/Y)

432 Oh freddled gruntbuggly,
Thy micturations are to me,
As plurdled gabbleblotchits,
On a lurgid bee,
That mordiously hath blurted out,
Its earted jurtles,
Into a rancid festering confectious organ squealer. [drowned out by moaning and screaming]
Now the jurpling slayjid agrocrustles,
Are slurping hagrilly up the axlegrurts,
And living glupules frart and slipulate,
Like jowling meated liverslime,
Groop, I implore thee, my foonting turling dromes,
And hooptiously drangle me,
With crinkly bindlewurdles,
Or else I shall rend thee in the gobberwarts with my blurglecruncheon,
See if I don't.

Posted by: Chris Balsz at September 08, 2015 06:54 PM (EioIi)

433 oops, I forgot item (f)

Identify the following: "Ze, Hir, Hirs, Xe, Xem or Xyr".
a) geographical names
b) pronouns
c) famous poet names
d) all of the above
e) racist
f) homophobic

Posted by: Desicat at September 08, 2015 06:58 PM (xXiRt)

434 Just throwing this in at the end. The author of "Deliverance" was a pretty famous poet. He was in the movie (the sheriff). He played football for Clemson. His best-known poem is about bees, and, well, football.

http://www.poemhunter.com/poem/the-bee-10/

Posted by: Stringer Davis at September 08, 2015 07:04 PM (xq1UY)

435 Sounds to me like ace is challenging everyone to write bee poems in the comments.

Haikus are easiest

Drunkenly stum'bling
Engineers say you can't fly
Thigh pouches swollen

Posted by: docweasel at September 08, 2015 07:42 PM (XxzcU)

436 Dark and lonely on a summer's night.

Kill my landlord. Kill my landlord.

Watchdog barking. Do he bite?

Kill my landlord. Kill my landlord.

Slip in his window. Break his neck.

Then his house I start to wreck.

Got no reason. What the heck?

Kill my landlord. Kill my landlord.

C-I-L my land lord!

Posted by: Wong Hung Lo at September 08, 2015 07:50 PM (YoBuY)

437 Heck, I've been going about being an author all wrong. White Male Texan? Not anymore! From now on I'm a . . . Trans Tibetan. Yeah. That's the ticket.

Posted by: WannabeAnglican at September 08, 2015 08:21 PM (96Dar)

438 Yi-Fen Chou? He insists upon himself.

Posted by: Cloyd Freud, Unemployed at September 08, 2015 09:56 PM (u5gzz)

439 Hmmmm, I don't read much poetry anymore. I guess this is why.

That is just dumb. Shouldn't there be a feeling that happens when you read it? I guess that is only white people's poems. The ones that can't get into books called "the" best.

Posted by: petunia at September 08, 2015 10:38 PM (VoCyE)

440 Secundus (#370) quotes Ambrose Bierce:
"RUSSIAN, noun. A person with a Caucasian body and a Mongolian soul."

One of the Elizabethans (I think it was) put it in two words: "baptized bears".

Posted by: Dr Weevil at September 08, 2015 11:03 PM (B81dz)

441 I'm actually surprised he got play w the Asian name. Asians are quite smart and hold themselves to high academic standards. Whereas that poem is a piece of shit that any tiger mom would have verbally eviscerated him for writing.

Posted by: keena at September 09, 2015 12:49 AM (KTbb0)

442 Maybe Hudson just self-identified as an Asian for a little while. No harm in that.

Posted by: Case, Mors Semper Tyrannis at September 09, 2015 01:20 AM (Bbcs8)

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