Russia Hacks the Joint Chiefs. Yawn.

Isn't there some Quality Premium Cable Series on tonight?

U.S. officials tell NBC News that Russia launched a "sophisticated cyberattack" against the Pentagon's Joint Staff unclassified email system, which has been shut down and taken off line for nearly two weeks. According to the officials, the "sophisticated cyber intrusion" occurred sometime around July 25 and affected some 4,000 military and civilian personnel work for the Joint Chiefs of Staff.

What is "sophisticated," to our government? The last "hack" was carried out by sophisticated hackers who, when our government gave them the passwords to root access to our sensitive personnel files, accepted that email.

So... Sure. "Sophisiticated."

Sources tell NBC News that it appears the cyberattack relied on some kind of automated system that rapidly gathered massive amounts of data and within a minute distributed all the information to thousands of accounts on the Internet. The officials also report the suspected Russian hackers coordinated the sophisticated cyberassault via encrypted accounts on social media.
While the officials say its not clear whether the attack was sanctioned by the Russian government or conducted by individuals given the scope of the attack, "It was clearly the work of a state actor."

Obama's administration is riddled by the cancer of failure, but shhh. Don't tell anyone.

Just keep them watching their TVs.

Unrelated: We must ban axes and chemicals.

Police: Attacker “abruptly, without any provocation” doused women with chemical spray #Tennessee theater attack #CNN http://t.co/Yhzc8zLkz0
— Brooke Baldwin (@BrookeBCNN) August 6, 2015

Posted by: Ace at 03:39 PM

Comments

(Jump to bottom of comments)

1 The Chinese did it first!

Posted by: andycanuck at August 06, 2015 03:39 PM (kivUY)

2 "Sophisticated" means "I was told I wouldn't have to report on math and science."

Posted by: Feh at August 06, 2015 03:40 PM (vZT7S)

3 the cyberattack relied on some kind of automated system that rapidly gathered massive amounts of data
Perhaps through a former SoS's private server?

Posted by: andycanuck at August 06, 2015 03:40 PM (kivUY)

4 SMOD or Yellowstone are quickly turning into much desired mercy killings...

The social sites that were ordered to be allowed when Gates was this President's Sec. of Defense? Reason being - to reduce deployment hardship by allowing service members to connect to families back in the States.

Posted by: Anna Puma at August 06, 2015 03:42 PM (63D73)

5 Hey, this is "the most transparent administration ever."

Posted by: Feh at August 06, 2015 03:42 PM (vZT7S)

6 You know, I keep reading unclassified as unencrypted.

Posted by: alexthechick - Team Joker Money Pile Being Hit By SMOD at August 06, 2015 03:43 PM (mf5HN)

7
#1- Yup. And our tepid lack of a response has emboldened any and every state actor to hack our systems with impunity. Because when they succeed, even if we identify the hack, we won't dare criticize them or take any firm response.*

*Except if Israel hacked us. Then all bets are off with this administration.

Posted by: Virginia SoCon at August 06, 2015 03:43 PM (+/C3g)

8 Hey, this is "the most transparent administration ever."

You got that right. Every Country can see right through it...

Posted by: donna at August 06, 2015 03:43 PM (hUdMz)

9 All they had to do was look up Hillary's personal server on their media server. They probably had it all nicely indexed. Maybe they could sell that back, so the Pentagon can find their shit easier.

Posted by: Roy at August 06, 2015 03:43 PM (VndSC)

10
My boys are great, and they kicked the Great Satan's ass!

Posted by: Vlad the Impaler at August 06, 2015 03:44 PM (OiFtZ)

11 What's the big deal? The Joint Chiefs' computers were perfectly secure. They were in a location guarded by the Secret Service.

You idiots don't know how computers work.

Posted by: Masturbatin' Pete at August 06, 2015 03:44 PM (xN1DB)

12 21st century warfare by a 20th century enemy. Its all very confusing.

Posted by: SH at August 06, 2015 03:44 PM (gmeXX)

13 The snowball rolling downhill gathers speed and mass.

Posted by: navybrat at August 06, 2015 03:44 PM (JgC5a)

14
What is "sophisticated," to our government? The last "hack" was carried
out by sophisticated hackers who, when our government gave them the
passwords to root access to our sensitive personnel files, accepted that email

Did they turn over the admin username and password to a government contractor/Chicom spy in South America like OPM?

Posted by: some random meathead at August 06, 2015 03:44 PM (Yrjee)

15 I'll second the "yawn."
I figured this is / has been happening on a regular basis for quite a while now.

Posted by: Chi at August 06, 2015 03:45 PM (yB0WD)

16 The Pentagon got the last laugh, because the Chinese hacked the Russian hackers.

Posted by: Roy at August 06, 2015 03:45 PM (VndSC)

17 For the record, and I do believe my distaste for Romney the candidate is well known, if Romney runs again using Insty's advice to have his campaign slogan be I FUCKING TOLD YOU SO! I would totes get behind that.

Posted by: alexthechick - Team Joker Money Pile Being Hit By SMOD at August 06, 2015 03:45 PM (mf5HN)

18 Wait - 4,000 people work for the Joint Chiefs? Seems excessive.

Posted by: SH at August 06, 2015 03:45 PM (gmeXX)

19 Sophisticated: "Hello! This is Bob American with Tech Support USA! Please provide passwords and usernames for all employees so that we can fix problems, ja?"

Posted by: El Kabong at August 06, 2015 03:45 PM (75gXb)

20 I don't know about the rest of you, but I was always squeamish about going to a dot mil domain and downloading a dot pdf file.

I don't dare go near a dot gov web site.

Even the dot com websites can be redirected to that building in Russia where the trolls live.

The internet is just getting to be much too dangerous.

Posted by: Pyromancy tells all. at August 06, 2015 03:45 PM (yjJan)

21
Don't worry America, my Reset Button working perfectly.

Posted by: Sir Edmund Cankles Clinton at August 06, 2015 03:45 PM (OiFtZ)

22 The US security apparatus is focused inward.

Posted by: Bevel Lemelisk at August 06, 2015 03:46 PM (dhHd4)

23 Barack Obama is a SCOAMT.

Posted by: AllenG (DedicatedTenther) - Derringer Bandit at August 06, 2015 03:46 PM (kff5f)

24 The nation is being run by a bunch of twenty-something's.

On second thought, its like the IT side is being run by some senile old people that are don't know how to turn on a computer.

On third thought, if you were trying to ruin America, what would you do differently?

Posted by: Golfman at August 06, 2015 03:47 PM (48QDY)

25
Fortunately, no classified information is ever discussed or disseminated over unsecure, unencrypted networks. Am I right, Hillary?

Posted by: Virginia SoCon at August 06, 2015 03:47 PM (+/C3g)

26 did they get six months of AOL for free?

Posted by: Pvt Hudson at August 06, 2015 03:47 PM (8CdUx)

27
It's simply a mouse fart and of no importance.

Posted by: Huma Abedin at August 06, 2015 03:47 PM (OiFtZ)

28 "a 'sophisticated cyberattack' against the Pentagon's Joint Staff unclassified email system"

Meh. Wake me up when they are storing classified info on their home servers.

Posted by: LiV at August 06, 2015 03:47 PM (Vf5rR)

29 *reads AlextheChick's comment, looks at NDA, and decides to keep mum*

Posted by: Anna Puma at August 06, 2015 03:48 PM (63D73)

30 Fortunately, no classified information is ever discussed or disseminated over unsecure, unencrypted networks. Am I right, Hillary?
Posted by: Virginia SoCon at August 06, 2015 03:47 PM (+/C3g)

----

You mean... not classified at the time.

Posted by: fixerupper at August 06, 2015 03:48 PM (8XRCm)

31 Hey, on the upside, I got an email from the daughter of a former member of the Czar's family who needs help in getting $23 million out of the Ukraine.
How lucky is that???

Posted by: Diogenes at August 06, 2015 03:48 PM (Z9g7j)

32 insecure, dammit.

Posted by: Virginia SoCon at August 06, 2015 03:48 PM (+/C3g)

33 I WILL GET TO THE BOTTOM OF THIS

Posted by: Barney Frank at August 06, 2015 03:48 PM (vZT7S)

34 Good thing my buddy Barry and I mocked Romney for saying Russia was a threat.

Posted by: Candi Crowley at August 06, 2015 03:48 PM (OD2ni)

35 The sophisticated hackers gained root access by somehow deducing the username, admin, as well as the password, admin.

Posted by: mugiwara at August 06, 2015 03:48 PM (D5hxK)

36
Paging Marie Harf, Marie Harf, pick up the white teleconference phone for a call from the Pentagon.

Posted by: Hilton Hotel Messaging Service at August 06, 2015 03:48 PM (OiFtZ)

37 I must hack you.

Posted by: Ivan Drago at August 06, 2015 03:49 PM (Ui7Rt)

38 "Sophisticated"

You keep using that word. I do not think it...

oh hell. One can't even keep up the old'n'busted memes with this crowd of idiots.

Posted by: anon a mouse at August 06, 2015 03:49 PM (C9pBZ)

39 In Russia, computer hacks you.

Posted by: Roy at August 06, 2015 03:49 PM (VndSC)

40 Isn't there some Quality Premium Cable Series on tonight?
------------------------------
You could always rent "Breaking Away" and make some hot boiled peanuts. No?

Posted by: Chi at August 06, 2015 03:49 PM (yB0WD)

41 How does this fit in with the "flexibility" our Low Information President gained with his re-election?

Posted by: Furious George at August 06, 2015 03:49 PM (UlJ3l)

42
In the end, I fuck everybody!

Posted by: Rasputin at August 06, 2015 03:49 PM (OiFtZ)

43 MARRY AND REPRODUCE

Posted by: The Signs of the Times at August 06, 2015 03:49 PM (evdj2)

44 The sophisticated hackers gained root access by somehow deducing the username, admin, as well as the password, admin.
Posted by: mugiwara at August 06, 2015 03:48 PM (D5hxK)

------

Wasnt our nuke launch codes set to 1-1-1-1-1 at one point in time??

Posted by: fixerupper at August 06, 2015 03:50 PM (8XRCm)

45
"The nation is being run by a bunch of twenty-something's."

I just turned 30 I'll have you know.

Posted by: Marie Harf at August 06, 2015 03:50 PM (OD2ni)

46 35-The sophisticated hackers gained root access by somehow deducing the username, admin, as well as the password, admin.Posted by: mugiwara at August 06, 2015 03:48 PM (D5hxK) Dude, I told them three times- The passwordshould bedrowssap. No one ever guesses that one!

Posted by: Virginia SoCon at August 06, 2015 03:50 PM (+/C3g)

47 But guys, the real problem in the military is the lack of diversity, yo!

That and the fact that the American public just doesn't give a shit anymore.

Posted by: weft cut-loop at August 06, 2015 03:50 PM (ZCFje)

48 Wasnt our nuke launch codes set to 1-1-1-1-1 at one point in time??
-------------------

I recall it was a string of zeros.

Posted by: Roy at August 06, 2015 03:51 PM (VndSC)

49 I still don't see why a banana republic that is over 18 trillion in debt would have any expectations of competent cyber-security.

Posted by: SpongeBobSaget at August 06, 2015 03:51 PM (ktt8p)

50
Holy pixel-eating, Pixy! My comment said, "The password should be drowssap."

Posted by: Virginia SoCon at August 06, 2015 03:51 PM (+/C3g)

51 did they get six months of AOL for free?

Posted by: Pvt Hudson"

Game over, man, game over!

Posted by: anon a mouse at August 06, 2015 03:51 PM (C9pBZ)

52 They may have stolen our sensitive data but they're on the wrong side of history.

Now watch this drive.

Posted by: Prez'nit Shit Midas at August 06, 2015 03:51 PM (8ZskC)

53 >>>>Wasnt our nuke launch codes set to 1-1-1-1-1 at one point in time??

That's the same combination on my luggage!

Posted by: President Scroobama at August 06, 2015 03:52 PM (75gXb)

54 http://map.norsecorp.com

Posted by: SMFH at it all at August 06, 2015 03:52 PM (zyIlW)

55 Joshua was more secure.

Posted by: Anna Puma at August 06, 2015 03:52 PM (63D73)

56 #BringBackOurUrls

Posted by: Jen Psaki at August 06, 2015 03:52 PM (Vf5rR)

57 I must hack you.
Posted by: Ivan Drago at August 06, 2015 03:49 PM (Ui7Rt)

-----

Isnt it better than two men beat each others servers in here than millions of men hack each other out there.???

Posted by: Rocky Balboa v 5.0 at August 06, 2015 03:52 PM (8XRCm)

58 I was hacked by a sophisticated Nigerian prince who wanted to give me some money.

Posted by: Bertram Cabot Jr. at August 06, 2015 03:52 PM (W5DcG)

59 Eat, drink, and be merry for tomorrow it will burn.

Posted by: The Great White Snark at August 06, 2015 03:53 PM (lKSyl)

60 Allyourpixelsarebelongtous

Posted by: eleven at August 06, 2015 03:53 PM (Fety7)

61 Tanned , rested and ready!

Posted by: Olivetti Underwood Lettera Studio 44 at August 06, 2015 03:53 PM (Yrjee)

62 I can't believe responsible people let this happen!

Posted by: Hillary! at August 06, 2015 03:54 PM (LISuA)

63 So all the top heads blackberry's are not secure?

Posted by: willow at August 06, 2015 03:54 PM (nqBYe)

64 I know what will fix our sieve-like security at the Peenergon...

Mandatory Sexual Harassment seminars! With self-denunciation sessions!

Posted by: weft cut-loop at August 06, 2015 03:54 PM (ZCFje)

65 Yo!

Posted by: Yo! at August 06, 2015 03:54 PM (W6iIX)

66 That's the same combination on my luggage!
Posted by: President Scroobama"

That's 1,2,3,4,5. Far more "sophisticated".

Posted by: anon a mouse at August 06, 2015 03:54 PM (C9pBZ)

67 Having the Russians and Chinese hack into our most sensitive systems would be a small price to pay if it led to an emergency executive order overriding all existing laws and regulations entitled "The Government Worker Responsibility Act".

This order would allow any government employee to be fired for incompetence, failure to achieve goals, inability to function in a professional atmosphere or any other reason that would be detrimental to the taxpayers of the U.S.

This order would be final and not open to appeal.

Clean house.

Posted by: jwest at August 06, 2015 03:54 PM (P/xrJ)

68 Affirmative Action has consequences.

Posted by: Garrett at August 06, 2015 03:54 PM (C/bZe)

69
There is no evidence to suggest that Russian hackers have penetrated the Pentagon's highly guarded and protected mail servers.

Posted by: Josh Earnest at August 06, 2015 03:54 PM (OiFtZ)

70 What happened to your Nuclear Launch Codes ?
All of your files were protected by a strong encryption with RSA-2048 using CryptoWall 3.0.
More information about the encryption keys using RSA-2048 can be found here: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/RSA_(cryptosystem)

What does this mean ?
This means that the structure and data within your nuclear launch codes have been irrevocably changed, you will not be able to work with them, read them or see them, it is the same thing as losing them forever, but with our help, you can restore them.

How did this happen ?
Especially for you, on our server was generated the secret key pair RSA-2048 - public and private.
All your files were encrypted with the public key, which has been transferred to your computer via the Internet.
Decrypting of your files is only possible with the help of the private key and decrypt program, which is on our secret server.

What do I do ?
Alas, if you do not take the necessary measures for the specified time then the conditions for obtaining the private key will be changed.
If you really value your data, then we suggest you do not waste valuable time searching for other solutions because they do not exist.

Posted by: The Signs of the Times at August 06, 2015 03:55 PM (evdj2)

71 42

In the end, I fuck everybody!

Posted by: Rasputin at August 06, 2015 03:49 PM (OiFtZ)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VmkySNDX4dU

Posted by: Jen Psaki at August 06, 2015 03:55 PM (Vf5rR)

72 Hey I have a good idea! Let's be world citizens and give control of the internet to the Chinese and the Russians?! Good idea, right? Yeah, they'll love me even more.

Posted by: TFG at August 06, 2015 03:55 PM (LISuA)

73 Huh.

France and the UAE are going at it hot and heavy.

Posted by: SMFH at it all at August 06, 2015 03:55 PM (zyIlW)

74 I know what will fix our sieve-like security at the Peenergon...

Mandatory Sexual Harassment seminars! With self-denunciation sessions!
Posted by: weft cut-loop at August 06, 2015 03:54 PM (ZCFje)

----

PT belts for the WIN!!!!

Posted by: fixerupper at August 06, 2015 03:55 PM (8XRCm)

75 Pentagon's Joint Staff unclassified email system
----
at least they weren't classified emails.

Posted by: willow at August 06, 2015 03:55 PM (nqBYe)

76 Wouldn't it be funny is Hillary's private server actually WAS more secure than the US government servers?

Posted by: El Kabong at August 06, 2015 03:55 PM (75gXb)

77 Wasnt our nuke launch codes set to 1-1-1-1-1 at one point in time??
-------------------
I recall it was a string of zeros.
Posted by: Roy at August 06, 2015 03:51 PM (VndSC)

That's a good code with an easy mnemonic device. Just think of the string of GOP presidential nominees over the last 30 years or so.

Posted by: mugiwara at August 06, 2015 03:56 PM (D5hxK)

78 The US is like a drunken sorority girl passed out at a fraternity party.

Posted by: The Great White Snark at August 06, 2015 03:56 PM (lKSyl)

79 The Russians (and Edward Snowden) hacked the Pentagon?

You know what that means?

Time to roll up my sleeves, board Marine 1 and . . . vacation at Martha's Vineyard!

Posted by: Adirondack Patriot at August 06, 2015 03:56 PM (YqcVw)

80 69 Posted by: Josh Earnest at August 06, 2015 03:54 PM (OiFtZ)
============================

This just in! The Secret Service was guarding the pentagon unclassified email servers so its all totes cool.

Posted by: MSDNC Anchor at August 06, 2015 03:56 PM (LISuA)

81 Hey, on the upside, I got an email from the daughter
of a former member of the Czar's family who needs help in getting $23
million out of the Ukraine.

How lucky is that???

Posted by: Diogenes at August 06, 2015 03:48 PM (Z9g7j)
------I got one from her brother, wants to make me his heir because he is a hemophiliac. What coincidence!!

Posted by: Penfold at August 06, 2015 03:57 PM (Fbt5B)

82 45
"The nation is being run by a bunch of twenty-something's."

------------------

More like twenty-nothings. And that's their collective IQ.

Posted by: Stu-22 at August 06, 2015 03:57 PM (vd4oB)

83 The sophisticated hackers gained root access by somehow deducing the username, admin, as well as the password, admin.

Username: MyPC
Password: Yes

Posted by: rickb223 at August 06, 2015 03:57 PM (5weRM)

84 Pentagon's Joint Staff unclassified email system
-------
we'll get back to you next mth about what happened to the classified servers.

Posted by: willow at August 06, 2015 03:57 PM (nqBYe)

85 I was shocked to hear about this on the news.
In response...I'll see you on the Vineyard. John Kerry promised me a ride on his snazzy sailboat!

Posted by: Emperor Clusterfuck I at August 06, 2015 03:57 PM (YFFpo)

86 I think it would be prudent for the Obama Administration to hire Morgan Freeman and Jack Black to convince us that the Russian hack is good deal for America and sound foreign policy.

With a frisbee.

Posted by: Fritz at August 06, 2015 03:57 PM (UzPAd)

87 So all the top heads blackberry's are not secure?

Govt is moving to Google from Blackberry.

Posted by: wrg500 at August 06, 2015 03:57 PM (S+el1)

88 PT belts protect against everything.

Posted by: SMFH at it all at August 06, 2015 03:57 PM (zyIlW)

89 Meanwhile Major Motoko Kusanagi is giving herself a memory erase because this is just too stupid.

Posted by: Anna Puma at August 06, 2015 03:58 PM (63D73)

90 Jeb will give the Russkie hackers a Medal of Freedom.

Posted by: maddogg at August 06, 2015 03:58 PM (xWW96)

91

Password? ******
Incorrect

Password? ******
Incorrect

Password? OVERRIDE
Entry granted

Posted by: The Super Powerful Text Interface in all the Movies at August 06, 2015 03:58 PM (evdj2)

92 At what point does "Massive Airburst EMP" become a feature, not a bug?

Posted by: some random meathead at August 06, 2015 03:58 PM (Yrjee)

93 Only Trump will say, "You're fired". Reason enough to show on Tuesday.

Posted by: nip at August 06, 2015 03:58 PM (a6Odp)

94 According to this Norse attack map, it's already WWIII, just with 0s and 1s.

Posted by: SMFH at it all at August 06, 2015 03:58 PM (zyIlW)

95 Ayn Rand called all of this. Well, maybe not Trump. Or maybe.

Posted by: Ynot you say at August 06, 2015 03:59 PM (TFWFz)

96 probably occurred on beer pong night.

no one cannot join.

Posted by: willow at August 06, 2015 03:59 PM (nqBYe)

97 Let me put my hack in you.

- Rootin' Tootin' Putin

Posted by: The Great White Snark at August 06, 2015 03:59 PM (lKSyl)

98 Whenever these slightly-tech stories break, the media goes in to "everyone is stupid, so we're going to make up scary words" mode.

I'm sure the "attack" on the "unclassified" email servers was a rather ho hum "attack" probably initiated by phishing a stupid employee.

Corporate America deals with this all the time.

Now, should the Pentagon have better security than Bubbas Hotdog stand & bait shop? Yeah, probably.

But I mean... we're talking government. They're incompetent.

These "hacks" will continue forever, because hackers are always a step ahead of security experts, and government is always 10-15 steps behind security experts.

Posted by: mynewhandle at August 06, 2015 03:59 PM (AkOaV)

99 Affirmative Action Hires, what can't they fcuk up?

Posted by: Nip Sip at August 06, 2015 03:59 PM (0FSuD)

100 Can I start drinking now? Or do I have to wait until the kids' debate starts?

Posted by: spd rdr at August 06, 2015 03:59 PM (+fXXA)

101 Aren't we told that war with Russia and China would be an easy win for us because of our Superior Technology that enables us to order a pizza from the beach while the Russkies still have VCR's and 8-tracks?

Putin; "Hey Barry, game for a rematch? I'm LAUGHING at the Superior Technology"

Posted by: kbdabear at August 06, 2015 03:59 PM (GrXXa)

102 The national socialist government is loaded with failure and failures. But yeah, lets give these bozos more power.

Posted by: El Jeb!! Prince of Wales at August 06, 2015 03:59 PM (hKyl0)

103 According to this Norse attack map, it's already WWIII, just with 0s and 1s.

Has been for years.

Posted by: wrg500 at August 06, 2015 04:00 PM (S+el1)

104 OK. I got another question, why does NBC, the most pro Obama network, just all of a sudden get exclusives? ALL the time.

I smell rat.

Posted by: Nip Sip at August 06, 2015 04:00 PM (0FSuD)

105 At what point does "Massive Airburst EMP" become a feature, not a bug?
Posted by: some random meathead at August 06, 2015 03:58 PM (Yrjee)

----

Ive maintained for more than a few years now that a Massive Coronal Ejection that knocks out technology for about a year might be the planet cleansing pallette we've been looking for.

Most certainly would bring Darwins theory to apply to humans.

Posted by: fixerupper at August 06, 2015 04:00 PM (8XRCm)

106 So, I guess ace's no reply means no live blog tonight?

Posted by: Nip Sip at August 06, 2015 04:01 PM (0FSuD)

107 wrg500,

I kinda figured as much, but seeing it in real time, it's both amazing and terrifying.

It's just a matter of time before we really get slammed to the mat...and tapping out will not be an option.

Posted by: SMFH at it all at August 06, 2015 04:01 PM (zyIlW)

108 You gots to love you some Jebbie.

https://goo.gl/688uCg

Posted by: maddogg at August 06, 2015 04:01 PM (xWW96)

109 Meanwhile Major Motoko Kusanagi"

Is it a bad thing that I got this reference without the googling?

Heh.

Posted by: anon a mouse at August 06, 2015 04:01 PM (C9pBZ)

110 ChiCom involvement in Project Narwhal revealed in 3...2...1...

Posted by: The Honey Badger on Donald Trump's head at August 06, 2015 04:01 PM (2l5vw)

111 New game, Horde. Let's play: Jeb that Story!

Take the subject of the post, and make a comment in the vein of Jeb's response to the PP videos. The goal is to make a statement that' "intended to appeal to the conservative voters" while still framing the argument in the terms that the Left uses. Bonus points for coming in the form of a soundbite that can be used by the MSM.

Posted by: joe at August 06, 2015 04:01 PM (KUaJL)

112 Posted by: Adirondack Patriot at August 06, 2015 03:56 PM (YqcVw)

Edward Snowden?

Dude, anyone can hack any emails anywhere at any time.

The hard part is not getting caught.

Clearly, these people "the russians" got caught (IPs traced back to russia). If they were in the US, they'd be in jail. Which is why people don't tend to hack from the US, or use a lot of proxies to hide their origin.

Posted by: mynewhandle at August 06, 2015 04:01 PM (AkOaV)

113 Siri down for just three months would cause mass starvation of the LIV...

Posted by: Anna Puma at August 06, 2015 04:01 PM (63D73)

114 99
Affirmative Action Hires, what can't they fcuk up?

Posted by: Nip Sip at August 06, 2015 03:59 PM (0FSuD)

Diversity! FTW!

Posted by: Commissar Archuleta at August 06, 2015 04:02 PM (Vf5rR)

115 I guess the UAE don't like France's cozying up to Iran, so they've been going at it in cyberspace for a while now.

Posted by: SMFH at it all at August 06, 2015 04:02 PM (zyIlW)

116 Aren't we told that war with Russia and China would be an easy win for us because of our Superior Technology that enables us to order a pizza from the beach while the Russkies still have VCR's and 8-tracks?

Superior Technology + Inferior Leadership = lots of high-tech junk

Posted by: The Honey Badger on Donald Trump's head at August 06, 2015 04:02 PM (2l5vw)

117 It's just a matter of time before we really get slammed to the mat...and tapping out will not be an option.

Naa, the good stuff isn't anywhere near the internet.

Posted by: wrg500 at August 06, 2015 04:03 PM (S+el1)

118 Ayn Rand called all of this. Well, maybe not Trump. Or maybe."

More like Jean Raspail...

Posted by: anon a mouse at August 06, 2015 04:03 PM (C9pBZ)

119 Not that I support him for president, but I really would like to see Trump square off with Putin in a room. He would have the bald-headed prick for lunch.

After five decades of dealing with hardened New York City communists, Trump would tear Putin up.

Posted by: Adirondack Patriot at August 06, 2015 04:03 PM (YqcVw)

120 You'll excuse the lag on the sock. The Honey Badger keeps his own timetables, you understand.

Posted by: Brother Cavil, down with Eph 6:12-13 at August 06, 2015 04:03 PM (2l5vw)

121 117,

True, but it the first domino to fall will be.

Posted by: SMFH at it all at August 06, 2015 04:03 PM (zyIlW)

122 Posted by: kbdabear at August 06, 2015 03:59 PM (GrXXa)

When it comes to security of networks and IT infrastructure, we are about as open as they come.

It really wouldn't take much to knock down our electrical grid or cause a nuclear plant to blow itself up or something like that.

The fact that it hasn't happened means no one has had a good enough reason to do it yet.

But if, god forbid, there ever were another world war -- well, i expect most of our networked infrastructure would be the first to go down. And we'd be fairly helpless without it.

Posted by: mynewhandle at August 06, 2015 04:04 PM (AkOaV)

123 probably how it happened

E-mail from AFGE local xyz to typical Federal employee: We require action Now!
We have gone long enough without a hike in pension rates, We Demand to be noticed, Send this email to all your 650k federal friends and get Involved Now!

Posted by: willow at August 06, 2015 04:04 PM (nqBYe)

124
Most certainly would bring Darwins theory to apply to humans.

Posted by: fixerupper

I would have to admit to finding some measure of enjoyment watching the pale, slug-like 'sooperhackers' blinking and staggering into the sunlight... and getting sideswiped by cars and falling into random ditches.

Posted by: some random meathead at August 06, 2015 04:05 PM (Yrjee)

125 The good news is all these people were previously exposed in the OPM hack, so no harm no foul.

And since now all our battle plans consist of "ask the UN for permission", see above.

And in case everyone has forgotten, the WH unclassified email system was also hacked a few months ago. I'm still hoping wikileaks gets a zip file with all those documents.

Posted by: GnuBreed at August 06, 2015 04:05 PM (jPlFu)

126 Superior Technology + Inferior Leadership = lots of high-tech junk
Posted by: The Honey Badger on Donald Trump's head at August 06, 2015 04:02 PM (2l5vw)

our technology may be superior, but it's also a HUGE achilles heal.

If anyone really wanted to fuck with us... let's just say our technology security is no where near caught up to where the technology is. And best practices (not to mention common practices) are way behind even that.

Posted by: mynewhandle at August 06, 2015 04:05 PM (AkOaV)

127 "It's just a matter of time before we really get slammed to the mat...and tapping out will not be an option."

Well, wrg's got the right idea. Head for the hills. Way away.

Probably won't even know when the next war breaks out.

Posted by: Ricardo Kill at August 06, 2015 04:05 PM (LA7Cm)

128 They wouldn't have pulled this shit on Reagan.

Posted by: Pappy O'Daniel at August 06, 2015 04:05 PM (oVJmc)

129 mynewhandle,

Take a look at this map and tell me we are not already in another world war.

http://map.norsecorp.com

Posted by: SMFH at it all at August 06, 2015 04:06 PM (zyIlW)

130 Now would be a good time for a

MORON PUBLIC SERVICE ANNOUNCEMENT

Backup your hard drives and other data storage.

Best option is to buy a second hard drive and clone your current os hard drive. Then disconnect. Redo this process at least monthly depending on how quickly your data has changed.

By cloning and disconnecting, you keep any and all out side attackers from destroying the majority of your data and by cloning it, you can have a working system identical to when you last cloned your drive up and running within 5 minutes by changing a few cables and adjusting your bios.

I recommend this process. You can back up your data but cloning gives you an instant operating system unaffected by any attacker. This is much easier than reloading an opsys and then restoring plus it eliminates the possibility that system files have been changed to reinfect the newly loaded op sys.

There are lots of reliable and free cloning software out there.

Use it or Lose it!

Posted by: Bitter Clinger and All That at August 06, 2015 04:06 PM (x3GpS)

131 The Russians and Chinese know they only have about another sixteen months before TFG is gone from office, so they're grabbling the chance to break into as many systems as possible. They probably have a count-down clock going in their offices, and they are working frantically.

Kind of like this little beauty from the NY Post, in reverse.

http://deblasio.fail/

Posted by: MTF at August 06, 2015 04:06 PM (LISuA)

132 What is "sophisticated," to our government? The last "hack" was carried out by sophisticated hackers who, when our government gave them the passwords to root access to our sensitive personnel files, accepted that email.

So... Sure. "Sophisiticated."

Yannow, we could hire these sophisticated hackers to look for Lerners emails. Sure couldn't hurt.

Posted by: Bill H at August 06, 2015 04:06 PM (Baojj)

133 But if, god forbid, there ever were another world war -- well, i expect most of our networked infrastructure would be the first to go down. And we'd be fairly helpless without it."

Hey, let me google that for you....

Heh.

Posted by: anon a mouse at August 06, 2015 04:06 PM (C9pBZ)

134 Spain is getting in on the act...lol.

Posted by: SMFH at it all at August 06, 2015 04:06 PM (zyIlW)

135 The russkies hacked the Pentagon, but no way they ever hacked the Beast's super secure private email server, and even if they did, all they got was Hillary's fat ass in a leotard rooting around on the floor like a legless hog.

Posted by: maddogg at August 06, 2015 04:06 PM (xWW96)

136 It's just a matter of time before we really get slammed to the mat...and tapping out will not be an option.

Naa, the good stuff isn't anywhere near the internet.

The pr0n is on the tubes. Repeat. The pr0n is on the tubes.

Posted by: rickb223 at August 06, 2015 04:07 PM (5weRM)

137 This is tempting...
http://preview.tinyurl.com/pxodyuk

Just hope in the time of Bartertown would be able to find a giant white wolf.

Posted by: Anna Puma at August 06, 2015 04:07 PM (63D73)

138 They wouldn't have pulled this shit on Reagan.

Their 300baud modems would still be dialing.

Posted by: Grump928(c) at August 06, 2015 04:07 PM (evdj2)

139 If it crashes, it crashes.

Posted by: Ivan Drago at August 06, 2015 04:07 PM (Ui7Rt)

140 "Ive maintained for more than a few years now that a Massive Coronal Ejection that knocks out technology for about a year might be the planet cleansing pallette we've been looking for.

Most certainly would bring Darwins theory to apply to humans.

Posted by: fixerupper at August 06, 2015 04:00 PM (8XRCm) "

This.

Though I'm thinking it would be more like a decade or two.

Posted by: sock_rat_eez at August 06, 2015 04:08 PM (go6ud)

141 "Sources tell NBC News that it appears the cyberattack relied on some kind of automated system that rapidly gathered massive amounts of data and within a minute distributed all the information to thousands of accounts on the Internet."

Reply to all?

Posted by: X at August 06, 2015 04:08 PM (xGNLA)

142 Posted by: SMFH at it all at August 06, 2015 04:06 PM (zyIlW)

Heh. Well its a cool graphic, but ultimately probably doesn't mean much.

Most, if not all of those "origins" are going to be proxies. And many are going to be internet nerds trying to hack porn sites or kids trying to steal naked selfies of Kim Kardashian or what not.

Posted by: mynewhandle at August 06, 2015 04:08 PM (AkOaV)

143 You know, a cynical person might at this point begin to lose faith in the level of competency of our federal employees.

Posted by: Brewdog at August 06, 2015 04:08 PM (ZgUuK)

144 our technology may be superior, but it's also a HUGE achilles heal.

And everything hinges on it. It's all efficiency now, even at the cost of resilience. I've believed for years "just in time" was a disaster waiting to happen.

Posted by: Brother Cavil, down with Eph 6:12-13 at August 06, 2015 04:09 PM (2l5vw)

145 4,000 military and civilian personnel work for the Joint Chiefs of Staff.

Four-fucking-Thousand?

*grabs Tylenol bottle*

The fuq is up with that..........

Posted by: 98ZJUSMC Staring at the Lake in the rain at August 06, 2015 04:09 PM (WIIRD)

146 "Sophisticated hack" = phishing email with link "Click here for tits!"

Posted by: Brewdog at August 06, 2015 04:09 PM (ZgUuK)

147 I would have to admit to finding some measure of enjoyment watching the pale, slug-like 'sooperhackers' blinking and staggering into the sunlight... and getting sideswiped by cars and falling into random ditches.
Posted by: some random meathead at August 06, 2015 04:05 PM (Yrjee)

----

Yup....

"Whaddaya mean THATs where milk comes from."

"I still dont get why there are no oranges this winter".

"Ow ow ow.... damn that rifle is LOUD. ... and my shoulder hurts"

*flicks light switch on.... *flicks off *flicks on *flicks off

"You mean you can use old socks as toilet paper???"

Posted by: fixerupper at August 06, 2015 04:09 PM (8XRCm)

148 4,000?

WTF?

No wonder our military is in the toilet.

Posted by: SMFH at it all at August 06, 2015 04:10 PM (zyIlW)

149 >>Spain is getting in on the act...lol.

The rain in Spain is mainly on the mainframe.

Posted by: Garrett at August 06, 2015 04:10 PM (C/bZe)

150 146
"Sophisticated hack" = phishing email with link "Click here for tits!"

Posted by: Brewdog at August 06, 2015 04:09 PM (ZgUuK)

Where's the link? Where's the tits?

Tease.

Posted by: rebel flounder at August 06, 2015 04:10 PM (Vf5rR)

151 "Superior Technology"

Let these other countries fuck around for now.

Pretty soon we'll have a sky full of F35's. Then they'll be sorry.

Posted by: jwest at August 06, 2015 04:10 PM (P/xrJ)

152 I bet less than 500 are military and the rest are career bureaucrats

Posted by: Anna Puma at August 06, 2015 04:11 PM (63D73)

153 Those young Spanish wags have a lot of free time on their hands, what.

Putin will be sending the hackers a case of the good stuff.

Posted by: Barney Frank at August 06, 2015 04:11 PM (vZT7S)

154 Notice we haven't heard a single thing more about that Planned Parenthood 'hack.'

Posted by: Pappy O'Daniel at August 06, 2015 04:11 PM (oVJmc)

155 "Whaddaya mean THATs where milk comes from."

"I still dont get why there are no oranges this winter".

"Ow ow ow.... damn that rifle is LOUD. ... and my shoulder hurts"

*flicks light switch on.... *flicks off *flicks on *flicks off

"You mean you can use old socks as toilet paper???"

I. am. so. starving.

The Onion

http://tinyurl.com/o99mkzb

Posted by: some random meathead at August 06, 2015 04:12 PM (Yrjee)

156 >>>Wasnt our nuke launch codes set to 1-1-1-1-1 at one point in time??

-------------------

I recall it was a string of zeros.
.
.
.That is correct. It stayed that way for quite some time IIRC.

Posted by: The Great White Scotsman at August 06, 2015 04:12 PM (iONHu)

157 The PP hack wasn't sophisticated enough to report. We at NBC are a serious news organization!

Posted by: NBC, Pulse of Genius America at August 06, 2015 04:13 PM (vZT7S)

158 About a year and a half ago the Iranians hacked the Navies HR data base. The Navy/Marines were unable to hire civilians for about 3 month. Stuff like this happens all the time. I read a stat awhile back that on average DoD gets 10000 attacks a day. Probable more than that now. Granted most are script kiddies but still a high number to deal with.

Posted by: wrg500 at August 06, 2015 04:13 PM (S+el1)

159
Govenrment employees are the stoopid aparently.

Now if a major corporation was hacked this bad the DOJ will file charges....

Posted by: Yo! at August 06, 2015 04:14 PM (W6iIX)

160 Sure does seem to be a lot of hacking since Snowden went to China and then on to Russia.

I'm sure it's totally unrelated.

Posted by: JackStraw at August 06, 2015 04:14 PM (OGm46)

161 I'll vote for the first Republican candidate who says they'll authorize letters of marque and reprisal to get the Russian hackers. Article I, Section 8.

Posted by: Brewdog at August 06, 2015 04:14 PM (ZgUuK)

162 1-1-1-1-1

Yes, but it was written right there on the console with a Sharpie, so you only knew it if you were standing right there.

Posted by: Feh at August 06, 2015 04:14 PM (vZT7S)

163 160
Sure does seem to be a lot of hacking since Snowden went to China and then on to Russia.

I'm sure it's totally unrelated.

Posted by: JackStraw at August 06, 2015 04:14 PM (OGm46)

We, the leader of the free world, have superior cat pictures.

Posted by: rebel flounder at August 06, 2015 04:15 PM (Vf5rR)

164 Whaddaya mean THATs where milk comes from."
"I still dont get why there are no oranges this winter".
"Ow ow ow.... damn that rifle is LOUD. ... and my shoulder hurts"
*flicks light switch on.... *flicks off *flicks on *flicks off "You mean you can use old socks as toilet paper???"

Just go to the supermarket and get some meat. You know. Where they make it.....

Posted by: rickb223 at August 06, 2015 04:15 PM (5weRM)

165 Don't worry, our Gay Lesbo Transgendered Seals will get RIGHT on this.

Posted by: Nip Sip at August 06, 2015 04:15 PM (0FSuD)

166 I don't think the Russians are going to care when Obama retaliates by calling them racist.

Posted by: Ken Railings at August 06, 2015 04:16 PM (lU0bX)

167 F-35s to soften them up then the Ospreys swoop in with boots on the ground. All under the watchful eye of our Littoral Combat Ships.

'Merica. Fuck Yeah.

We are Technology.

Posted by: jwest at August 06, 2015 04:16 PM (P/xrJ)

168

*psst*

Invest in ribbon futures!

Posted by: Mouse over image to zoom Olivetti-Underwood-Lettera-Studio-44-Typewriter-with-Cover-Case-NICE- at August 06, 2015 04:16 PM (Yrjee)

169 What did we do, if anything, to punish the Iranian hackers a year and a half ago?

Posted by: Feh at August 06, 2015 04:16 PM (vZT7S)

170 I'm assuming Obama sent drag queens to Iranian and Russian gay pride parades.

That'll show 'em.

Posted by: Feh at August 06, 2015 04:17 PM (vZT7S)

171 Gay Lesbo Transgendered

--------

wait..... wouldnt that be a be woman trapped in a mans body that likes women???

Posted by: fixerupper at August 06, 2015 04:17 PM (8XRCm)

172 Username: admin
Password: 1234

Posted by: Jay Guevara at August 06, 2015 04:17 PM (oKE6c)

173 Posted by: Feh at August 06, 2015 04:16 PM (vZT7S)

Gave them a nuclear treaty.

Posted by: wrg500 at August 06, 2015 04:17 PM (S+el1)

174 160 Sure does seem to be a lot of hacking since Snowden went to China and then on to Russia.

I'm sure it's totally unrelated.
Posted by: JackStraw at August 06, 2015 04:14 PM (OGm46)

oh please. I'm sure it is entirely unrelated.

Posted by: mynewhandle at August 06, 2015 04:17 PM (AkOaV)

175
I sure hope we have some hackers hacking everyone else.

We have hackers right?

Posted by: Yo! at August 06, 2015 04:18 PM (W6iIX)

176 Puny humans!

Witness my unhackableness!

Marvel at my security!

Posted by: Minx 0.7 alpha. at August 06, 2015 04:18 PM (Yrjee)

177 Mouse over image to zoom Olivetti-Underwood-Lettera-Studio-44-Typewriter-with-Cover-Case-NICE"

I've a Selectric and a Royal. Both work, too. Sort of.

Posted by: anon a mouse at August 06, 2015 04:19 PM (C9pBZ)

178 oh please. I'm sure it is entirely unrelated.

Posted by: mynewhandle at August 06, 2015 04:17 PM (AkOaV)

The Chinese Army has a whole fucking Division dedicated to cyber warfare. 50,000 men

Posted by: wrg500 at August 06, 2015 04:19 PM (S+el1)

179 Boy, that affirmative action is really paying off.

Posted by: Jay Guevara at August 06, 2015 04:19 PM (oKE6c)

180 Seriously, I'll pose the question again: Is there some good cable TV on tonight? I have not founf anything to watch on Thursdays.

(Can't wait for Thursday Night Football to return.)

Posted by: logprof at August 06, 2015 04:19 PM (vsbNu)

181

There's a new line item added to every government worker's "Benefit's Package*."

*Personal info probably hacked. What difference does it make?

Posted by: artisanal 'ette at August 06, 2015 04:19 PM (qCMvj)

182 The Chinese Army has a whole fucking Division dedicated to cyber warfare. 50,000 men

Posted by: wrg500 at August 06, 2015 04:19 PM (S+el1)

What? No diversity? So we've got 'em there.

Posted by: Jay Guevara at August 06, 2015 04:20 PM (oKE6c)

183 Boy, that affirmative action is really paying off.
Posted by: Jay Guevara at August 06, 2015 04:19 PM (oKE6c)

It is indeed having its intended effect.

Posted by: Bertram Cabot Jr. at August 06, 2015 04:20 PM (W5DcG)

184 The scandals with this admin...this should be big news. That our national secrets are not safe should be huge. But nope, no one cares.

I have a theory. The purpose is to cram so many scandals in at once that no one knows which to actually pursue. They all gram into the door at once, none can get though (except on the very rare occasion.) It looks a bit like the Monty Burns doctor's disease door.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FYFcT9sDSBs

Meanwhile, the media attacks he LIVs with squirrel non-issue topics like Cecil, or how global warming is causing the recent shark infestations. A two for one gambit that works every time!

Posted by: LizLem at August 06, 2015 04:20 PM (hvf9s)

185

The government's probably running Kaspersky. ha

Posted by: artisanal 'ette at August 06, 2015 04:21 PM (qCMvj)

186 The Chinese Army has a whole fucking Division dedicated to cyber warfare. 50,000 men
Posted by: wrg500 at August 06, 2015 04:19 PM (S+el1)

Well, I don't know the numbers, but there are tons of government sanctioned and non-government sanctioned hackers all over asia, eastern europe, and really the entire world.

I don't think Snowden has ANYTHING to do with it. The vast majority of these attacks are basic phishing attacks or script kiddies running hacks against known vulnerabilities that our government and many businesses are way behind in fixing and updating.

Posted by: mynewhandle at August 06, 2015 04:21 PM (AkOaV)

187 What? No diversity? So we've got 'em there.

Posted by: Jay Guevara at August 06, 2015 04:20 PM (oKE6c)

One child policy.

Posted by: wrg500 at August 06, 2015 04:21 PM (S+el1)

188 The Chinese have lots and lots of surplus men. Hmmm, what do nations do when their economy is going into the crapper and they have lots ands lots of surplus men. hmmmmm

Posted by: Gouverneur morris at August 06, 2015 04:21 PM (02oLK)

189 Posted by: Minx 0.7 alpha. at August 06, 2015 04:18 PM (Yrjee)

I can hack that software in...

two weeks.

Posted by: GnuBreed at August 06, 2015 04:21 PM (jPlFu)

190

Maybe the Debates will be hacked by some VOIP overlay or some such thing.

Ruski Deep Throat Voice overs

Posted by: artisanal 'ette at August 06, 2015 04:22 PM (qCMvj)

191 >>I have a theory. The purpose is to cram so many scandals in at once that no one knows which to actually pursue.

Another guy had a similar theory. His name was Alinsky.

But that's just conspiracy stuff.

Posted by: JackStraw at August 06, 2015 04:22 PM (OGm46)

192 I don't think Snowden has ANYTHING to do with it. The vast majority of these attacks are basic phishing attacks or script kiddies running hacks against known vulnerabilities that our government and many businesses are way behind in fixing and updating.

Yep, your right.

Posted by: wrg500 at August 06, 2015 04:22 PM (S+el1)

193 I'm gonna be out during the first debate, counting on people here to keep me updated on gaffes, zingers, etc. when I can sneak away from the table. Normally I'd just bust out the phone at the table, but this is the annual "Dad takes us out to dinner at a fancy place" episode. I have to at least pretend to be engaged in the conversation.

(I'm leaning towards the..."Fruta de pescatore, little neck clams, mussels calamari, shrimp, scallops, grilled lobster tail, in a light tomato saffron broth served over housemade linguini.").

Posted by: Lincolntf at August 06, 2015 04:22 PM (dgfje)

194 In Russia, ______ ______ YOU!

Posted by: Hey, have you heard this one yet? at August 06, 2015 04:23 PM (VAsIq)

195
What is a 'zip file' and why can't I open one in an email from someone I'm not famialiar with?

what if it is important?

Posted by: 57 year old goverment employee at August 06, 2015 04:23 PM (W6iIX)

196 Russia's sophisticated attack is known as "Operation One Weird Trick".

Posted by: Ken Railings at August 06, 2015 04:23 PM (lU0bX)

197 I used to think the whole "well-regulated militia" thing was just supposed to be a back-up plan.

Posted by: Feh at August 06, 2015 04:23 PM (vZT7S)

198 if Romney runs again using Insty's advice to have his campaign slogan be I FUCKING TOLD YOU SO! I would totes get behind that.

Posted by: alexthechick - Team Joker Money Pile Being Hit By SMOD at August 06, 2015 03:45 PM (mf5HN)

I really wish something like that could happen. Because come on.

Posted by: Lea at August 06, 2015 04:23 PM (lIU4e)

199 Is this on a Russian dash cam vid?

Posted by: Yo! at August 06, 2015 04:24 PM (W6iIX)

200 I have a theory. The purpose is to cram so many scandals in at once...

-----

I've done that! Wait, scandals? Oops--never mind.

Posted by: Lena Dunham at August 06, 2015 04:24 PM (VAsIq)

201 "what if it is important?"

If it's not from Bristol Palin, it's not important.

Posted by: Lois Lerner at August 06, 2015 04:24 PM (vZT7S)

202 The Chinese have lots and lots of surplus men. Hmmm, what do nations do when their economy is going into the crapper and they have lots ands lots of surplus men. hmmmmm
Posted by: Gouverneur morris at August 06, 2015 04:21 PM (02oLK)

------

Fly rainbow flags....

Posted by: fixerupper at August 06, 2015 04:24 PM (8XRCm)

203
Russia: Elite group of highly motivated, patriotic military hackers

USA: Pentagon lame-asses digging Cheetos out from under their moobs while they watch porn and play League of Legends

Posted by: naturalfake at August 06, 2015 04:24 PM (0cMkb)

204 The hacking of the DoD is actually good for you and here's why ....

Posted by: Grump928(c) at August 06, 2015 04:24 PM (evdj2)

205 Is this on a Russian dash cam vid?

Is now.

Posted by: rickb223 at August 06, 2015 04:25 PM (5weRM)

206 if Romney runs again using Insty's advice to have his campaign slogan be I FUCKING TOLD YOU SO! I would totes get behind that.

Posted by: alexthechick

Of course, it would really be "Darn it, I told you!"

Posted by: Turd Ferguson at August 06, 2015 04:25 PM (VAsIq)

207

If the GOP had the balls, they could spend 10 minutes as ONE, during the debates, running down the sh*t this administration and the Democrats have to done to take away our freedoms, increase our taxes and lower our incomes, stomping on the Constitution and abusing the potus position.

There is just so much.

All of them could stand there in harmony, but they could never do that. It's just a pipedream.

Posted by: artisanal 'ette at August 06, 2015 04:25 PM (qCMvj)

208 202
The Chinese have lots and lots of surplus men. Hmmm, what do nations do
when their economy is going into the crapper and they have lots ands
lots of surplus men. hmmmmm

Posted by: Gouverneur morris at August 06, 2015 04:21 PM (02oLK)

------

Fly rainbow flags....

Posted by: fixerupper at August 06, 2015 04:24 PM (8XRCm)

Throw a fabulous sausage party?

Posted by: rebel flounder at August 06, 2015 04:25 PM (Vf5rR)

209 Russia: Elite group of highly motivated, patriotic military hackers

USA: Pentagon lame-asses digging Cheetos out from under their moobs while they watch porn and play League of Legends

Posted by: naturalfake

Well, I know which one I'd want to work for.

Posted by: USA! USA! at August 06, 2015 04:25 PM (VAsIq)

210 Ten Things You Should NEVER Say To Your New Chinese Overlords

Posted by: some random meathead at August 06, 2015 04:26 PM (Yrjee)

211 Commonsense axe control is vital to our nation.

Posted by: Grump928(c) at August 06, 2015 04:26 PM (evdj2)

212 Enjoy sifting through 8,000 pages of memos re: diversity awareness and transgender bathrooms, Russkies!

Posted by: Ken Railings at August 06, 2015 04:26 PM (lU0bX)

213 We must ban Axes and Alliances!

Posted by: Turd Ferguson at August 06, 2015 04:27 PM (VAsIq)

214 Ten Things You Should NEVER Say To Your New Chinese Overlords

Posted by: some random meathead

10) Is it true what they say about Asian wieners?

Posted by: Turd Ferguson at August 06, 2015 04:27 PM (VAsIq)

215 I have a theory. The purpose is to cram so many scandals in at once...

No, it's an ingenious security strategy. We flood their intelligence services with so much shit that they stroke and/or have nervous breakdowns from working so hard to wade through it all.

Genius.

Posted by: Jay Guevara at August 06, 2015 04:28 PM (oKE6c)

216 "they could never do that"

Rush was talking the other day about an interview Rep. Boehner gave to a golf channel guy (not making this up) years ago who had asked him what his goals were, now that he'd been elected to the House. This was before he was elected Speaker. Boehner's response?

"I guess I'd like to be Speaker."

Not "I'd like to reduce the size and scope of the federal government, eliminate waste, stimulate small business, etc." He said no such thing.

That's why they could never do that. They're bounders.

Posted by: Feh at August 06, 2015 04:29 PM (vZT7S)

217 214
Ten Things You Should NEVER Say To Your New Chinese Overlords

Posted by: some random meathead

10) Is it true what they say about Asian wieners?

Posted by: Turd Ferguson at August 06, 2015 04:27 PM (VAsIq)

9) Who put pee pee in this coke?

Posted by: rebel flounder at August 06, 2015 04:29 PM (Vf5rR)

218 SO...another inside job like OPM (by OPM IR manager hiring a Chinese "firm" to manage security), of is it possible that they could've been led to this email server via emails they culled from, say, Hillary's server?

Posted by: Lizzy at August 06, 2015 04:29 PM (NOIQH)

219 snowden. lol.

Posted by: X at August 06, 2015 04:29 PM (xGNLA)

220 Did Boobs Baldwin actually say that? Video won't play for me.

Posted by: Mr. Healthy Penis at August 06, 2015 04:29 PM (HstNY)

221 "Sophisiticated."

Every hack ever hacked was hacked by the most sophisticated hackers in the world. Even Planned Parenthood in their statement said they were hacked by the most sophisticated hackers in the world. No one, especially not anyone who has lost a bunch of other people's sensitive records, is ever going to say their IT security is fucked and they were hacked by unemployed hipsters who tried the default password.

Posted by: Nobody at August 06, 2015 04:29 PM (TULs6)

222 I too doused your woman with my chemical spray

Posted by: Paolo the Merciless at August 06, 2015 04:29 PM (LAliD)

223 Ten Things You Should NEVER Say To Your New Chinese Overlords

Posted by: some random meathead

10) Is it true what they say about Asian wieners?
Posted by: Turd Ferguson at August 06, 2015 04:27 PM (VAsIq)

----

9.) dude.... why you squinting all the time.

Posted by: fixerupper at August 06, 2015 04:30 PM (8XRCm)

224 No, it's an ingenious security strategy. We flood their intelligence services with so much shit that they stroke and/or have nervous breakdowns from working so hard to wade through it all.

Genius.

Posted by: Jay Guevara

Sweet Mother Vodka--so much pron! In America, pron rules YOU.

Posted by: Russian Hacker at August 06, 2015 04:30 PM (VAsIq)

225 These Twelve Ugly Girlfriends of Joint Chiefs Will Make You Feel Almost Sorry That The Chinese Used Them For Blackmail

Posted by: some random meathead at August 06, 2015 04:30 PM (Yrjee)

226
Pfft.

Posted by: Anonymous at August 06, 2015 04:30 PM (9mTYi)

227 Ten Things You Should NEVER Say To Your New Chinese Overlords

Posted by: some random meathead

7.) You Orientals are all the same.

Posted by: fixerupper at August 06, 2015 04:30 PM (8XRCm)

228 Ten Things You Should NEVER Say To Your New Chinese Overlords

Posted by: some random meathead

10) Is it true what they say about Asian wieners?

Posted by: Turd Ferguson at August 06, 2015 04:27 PM (VAsIq)

9) Who put pee pee in this coke?

Do you deliver?

Posted by: wrg500 at August 06, 2015 04:31 PM (S+el1)

229
-----

I got your "ancient chinese secret" right here Slanty.

Posted by: fixerupper at August 06, 2015 04:31 PM (8XRCm)

230 Ten Things You Should NEVER Say To Your New Chinese Overlords

What is it with you folks and driving, anyway?

Posted by: Jay Guevara at August 06, 2015 04:32 PM (oKE6c)

231 Ten Things You Should NEVER Say To Your New Chinese Overlords

Less starch on my shirts next time.

Posted by: wrg500 at August 06, 2015 04:32 PM (S+el1)

232 Ten Things You Should NEVER Say To Your New Chinese Overlords

Fire drill!

Posted by: Jay Guevara at August 06, 2015 04:32 PM (oKE6c)

233

The USA has no secrets.
Not one left.
Oh, except the Clintons. Many secrets there.

Posted by: artisanal 'ette at August 06, 2015 04:32 PM (qCMvj)

234 >>> "I guess I'd like to be Speaker." Not "I'd like to reduce the size and scope of the federal government, eliminate waste, stimulate small business, etc." He said no such thing. That's why they could never do that. They're bounders.

Did he at least take back the cushy offices of speaker with the nice view from Nancy Pelosi? If at the very least he did not do that he is feckless. I thought I heard she'd refused to vacate at first.

Posted by: LizLem at August 06, 2015 04:32 PM (hvf9s)

235 Ten Things You Should NEVER Say To Your New Chinese Overlords
Posted by: some random meathead
(

'Ching-chong, ching-chong. Danny DeVito. Ching-chong, ching-chong-chong. Drunk. The View. Ching-chong.'?

Posted by: Rosie 'Fire Can't Melt Steel' O'Donnell at August 06, 2015 04:33 PM (XHR9b)

236 Ten Things You Should NEVER Say To Your New Chinese Overlords

- I can't tell any of you apart.

- This isn't real Chinese food, it doesn't taste anything like Panda Express.

Posted by: Country Singer at August 06, 2015 04:33 PM (nL0sw)

237 Ten Things You Should NEVER Say To Your New Chinese Overlords

----

Ummmm since when is "Labradoodle" a flavor???

Posted by: fixerupper at August 06, 2015 04:33 PM (8XRCm)

238 10) Is it true what they say about Asian wieners?
Posted by: Turd Ferguson at August 06, 2015 04:27 PM (VAsIq)

----

9.) dude.... why you squinting all the time.
Posted by: fixerupper at August 06, 2015 04:30 PM (8XRCm)

Rice. Again?

Posted by: Golfman at August 06, 2015 04:33 PM (We9N5)

239 Ten Things You Should NEVER Say To Your New Chinese Overlords

Posted by: some random meathead

6) Is it true you name your children just by dropping silverware? (Ching Ting Chang!)

Posted by: Turd Ferguson at August 06, 2015 04:33 PM (VAsIq)

240 OT: Anybody read the glowing Vanity Fair profile of Chelsea Clinton? I'm sure everybody found it puke worthy and quit reading in disgust. In case you made it to the end, where they start discussing Chelsea's future and place in the coming Clinton 2.0 administration they finish with this:

"The ultimate foundation is the U.S. government., so why would you toil with a foundation on the side?"

F*ing speechless. Attitudes in the ruling class are even worse than I imagined, which I didn't think possible. SMOD, please take us now.

Posted by: George Orwell de Leon at August 06, 2015 04:33 PM (1BQGO)

241 Ten Things You Should NEVER Say To Your New Chinese Overlords

How does every Chinese joke start?

Posted by: rebel flounder at August 06, 2015 04:33 PM (Vf5rR)

242 Ten Things You Should NEVER Say To Your New Chinese Overlords

With how many you get egg roll?

Posted by: Jay Guevara at August 06, 2015 04:33 PM (oKE6c)

243 The USA has no secrets.
Not one left.
Oh, except the Clintons. Many secrets there.

Posted by: artisanal 'ette

You know Barry's grades?

Posted by: Turd Ferguson at August 06, 2015 04:34 PM (VAsIq)

244 Ten Things You Should NEVER Say To Your New Chinese Overlords

Hey, let's get some American takeaway!

Posted by: Jay Guevara at August 06, 2015 04:34 PM (oKE6c)

245 5) why can't I buy my wife tits?

Posted by: Nip Sip at August 06, 2015 04:35 PM (0FSuD)

246 Anyone going to watch the tier 2 debate?
I think I'm going to. Gotta run up to get a six pack for it, though...

Posted by: Chi at August 06, 2015 04:35 PM (yB0WD)

247 BTW, for the LIV/SJWs lurking: being 1/2 Asian, I can say this shit and not be rayciss.

Posted by: Country Singer at August 06, 2015 04:35 PM (nL0sw)

248 9) Who put pee pee in this coke?

Do their slits go sideways?

Posted by: rickb223 at August 06, 2015 04:36 PM (5weRM)

249 @246

I want too, but FOUR hours of BS is a lot to swallow.

Posted by: Nip Sip at August 06, 2015 04:36 PM (0FSuD)

250 Ten Things You Should NEVER Say To Your New Chinese Overlords

----

Let me spin you around twenty times and Ill make you dis-oriented.

Posted by: fixerupper at August 06, 2015 04:36 PM (8XRCm)

251 Wonder if David Brooks thinks any of these hacks constitute a "scandal" or if he stands by his assertion that the Obama admin is "scandal free"?

Posted by: Lizzy at August 06, 2015 04:36 PM (NOIQH)

252 8.) Say, how did that Cultural Revolution thing work out?

7.) Have you ever vacationed in Taiwan?

6.) Is there a Tiananmen Square festival this year?

Posted by: Mike Hammer, etc., etc. at August 06, 2015 04:36 PM (9mTYi)

253 5) Flied Lice?

Posted by: Turd Ferguson at August 06, 2015 04:36 PM (VAsIq)

254 >>> Ummmm since when is "Labradoodle" a flavor???

Labrodoodle noodles, coming to a Panda Express near you! Severe case of the runs sold separately.

Posted by: Panda Express, authentic chinese n stuff at August 06, 2015 04:36 PM (hvf9s)

255 BTW, for the LIV/SJWs lurking: being 1/2 Asian, I can say this shit and not be rayciss.

Posted by: Country Singer

And I currently identify as a black female Afro-gender studies student, so I'm safe, too.

Posted by: Turd Ferguson at August 06, 2015 04:37 PM (VAsIq)

256 Current chair of the Joint Chiefs is Dempsey, an Irish Catholic. He'll be succeeded in October by Joseph Dunford of the USMC, also an Irish Catholic.

What's with all the Irish Catholics?

Posted by: Feh at August 06, 2015 04:38 PM (vZT7S)

257 4) So you're Japanese, right?

Posted by: Turd Ferguson at August 06, 2015 04:38 PM (VAsIq)

258 >>F*ing speechless. Attitudes in the ruling class are even worse than I imagined, which I didn't think possible. SMOD, please take us now.

The Wash Post *just* did a long profile on Chelsea this week, too.

The funny part was the comments that I saw sent a clear message that they were Not Buying the Spin. And considering how proggy Wash Post commenter are....

Posted by: Lizzy at August 06, 2015 04:38 PM (NOIQH)

259 What's with all the Irish Catholics?

Posted by: Feh

Right?

Posted by: Boston--Irish Need Not Apply at August 06, 2015 04:39 PM (VAsIq)

260 Actually, handing over control of the Internet to the same people who regularly hack US Defence & Govt networks is a great idea, and here's why!

Posted by: #VoxSmartTakes at August 06, 2015 04:39 PM (zPc5p)

261 We should offer immunity to the hackers in exchange for them recovering the Lois Lerner e-mails for us.

Posted by: Cruzinator at August 06, 2015 04:39 PM (rfjjV)

262 6.) Can you tell my fortune? How about a lotto number?

Posted by: Mike Hammer, etc., etc. at August 06, 2015 04:40 PM (9mTYi)

263 I'm excited to hear Presn't Obama condemn these hacks tomorrow, after he reads about it in the paper.

Maybe he'll learn about it tonight, if it's mentioned on ESPN.

Posted by: Turd Ferguson at August 06, 2015 04:40 PM (VAsIq)

264 if Romney runs again using Insty's advice to have his campaign slogan be I FUCKING TOLD YOU SO! I would totes get behind that.

Posted by: alexthechick - Team Joker Money Pile Being Hit By SMOD at August 06, 2015 03:45 PM (mf5HN)

I really wish something like that could happen. Because come on.

Posted by: Lea at August 06, 2015 04:23 PM (lIU4e)

That fact that Romney doesn't have the grit to do exactly that-

and set Obama's pretend playhouse on fire every day

is what left an opening for Trump.

So, once again Romney would rather be Mr Nice Guy Go Along to Get Along

instead of standing up and fighting for your country

and the main part, having fun doing it.

How awesome would that be to kick TFG figuaratively in the nuts every day.

NGNG

Posted by: naturalfake at August 06, 2015 04:40 PM (0cMkb)

265 246 >> Anyone going to watch the tier 2 debate?

I think I'm going to. Gotta run up to get a six pack for it, though...

Of forties.

Posted by: GnuBreed at August 06, 2015 04:41 PM (jPlFu)

266 Ten Things You Should NEVER Say To Your New Chinese Overlords

"They can turn a television into a watch!"

Posted by: Reggie White at August 06, 2015 04:41 PM (nL0sw)

267 Chi,

You can give me a play by play, love.

I have fantasy football to "work" on.

Posted by: SMFH at it all at August 06, 2015 04:41 PM (zyIlW)

268 Ten Things You Should NEVER Say To Your New Chinese Overlords

3) Is it true that you are required to vote when you have erections?

Posted by: rebel flounder at August 06, 2015 04:41 PM (Vf5rR)

269 >>> What's with all the Irish Catholics?
Posted by: Feh at August 06, 2015 04:38 PM (vZT7S)

Aye, lad, this be truth; wot's the point you're makin'?

Posted by: Preezie Barry O'Bama of Kilkenny at August 06, 2015 04:41 PM (GMJgv)

270 President Nugent would not let this go unanswered.

Posted by: Weasel at August 06, 2015 04:41 PM (ijjnr)

271 We should offer immunity to the hackers in exchange for them recovering the Lois Lerner e-mails for us.

Barky's grades.

Posted by: rickb223 at August 06, 2015 04:42 PM (5weRM)

272 2.) How come there seem to be so few Chinese female babies?

Posted by: Mike Hammer, etc., etc. at August 06, 2015 04:42 PM (9mTYi)

273 We've had this incompetency before prior to the Internet age. Read about the history of the US Embassy we built in the USSR and the one we allowed them to build here.

Posted by: Cruzinator at August 06, 2015 04:42 PM (rfjjV)

274 Aye, lad, this be truth; wot's the point you're makin'?

Posted by: Preezie Barry O'Bama of Kilkenny

Ugh. Black Irish.

Posted by: Turd Ferguson at August 06, 2015 04:43 PM (VAsIq)

275 Not a smidgen ... of competence.

Posted by: Jay Guevara at August 06, 2015 04:43 PM (oKE6c)

276 Ten Things You Should NEVER Say To Your New Chinese Overlords

So, where's these geisha girls in the hot tubs I've heard about? That's Japan? What's the difference?

Posted by: Country Singer at August 06, 2015 04:43 PM (nL0sw)

277 263 >> I'm excited to hear Presn't Obama condemn these hacks tomorrow, after he reads about it in the paper.

He's on vacation again. His fortieth one.

Presidentin' be hard, Yo!

Posted by: GnuBreed at August 06, 2015 04:44 PM (jPlFu)

278 2.) How come there seem to be so few Chinese female babies?

Posted by: Mike Hammer

You shut your whore mouth!

Posted by: Planned Parenthood, choppin' up babies for profit at August 06, 2015 04:44 PM (VAsIq)

279 273 We've had this incompetency before prior to the Internet age. Read about the history of the US Embassy we built in the USSR and the one we allowed them to build here.
Posted by: Cruzinator at August 06, 2015 04:42 PM (rfjjV)

Yeah, that story always pissed me off. They did the same thing with the Soviet consulate in SF, which was located at a high point that could eavesdrop on everything for a long way around.

Posted by: Jay Guevara at August 06, 2015 04:44 PM (oKE6c)

280 We've had this incompetency before prior to the Internet age. Read about the history of the US Embassy we built in the USSR and the one we allowed them to build here.
Posted by: Cruzinator
---------------------

Pales in comparison to the level of direct aid that Roosevelt gave to the Rooskies. He just could not believe that Uncle Joe wasn't a swell guy.

Posted by: Mike Hammer, etc., etc. at August 06, 2015 04:45 PM (9mTYi)

281 Yeah, Nip Sip - 4 hours is stoopid.
I really only care about Perry & Fiorina.

I have a couple beers in the fridge, still.
I may watch an hour or so, then when my head feels like going all "Scanners," run to the store for replenishment.

Posted by: Chi at August 06, 2015 04:45 PM (yB0WD)

282

using social media to reverse track and hack?

nice to see you again Mr Snowden

Posted by: ThunderB at August 06, 2015 04:45 PM (zOTsN)

283 So, where's these geisha girls in the hot tubs I've heard about? That's Japan? What's the difference?

Posted by: Country Singer

I've always liked Sumo!

Posted by: Turd Ferguson at August 06, 2015 04:46 PM (VAsIq)

284 At lunch, a well-meaning but ignorant lady informed me that the PP videos had been 'doctored'. I asked her if she had seen them and she said 'no'.

I asked how it is that she knew. She told me that she listened to NPR.

Posted by: Mike Hammer, etc., etc. at August 06, 2015 04:48 PM (9mTYi)

285 Mike Flynn sighting on the previous Jeboosh! thread.

Posted by: some random meathead at August 06, 2015 04:49 PM (Yrjee)

286

Alabama governor just defunded Planned Parenthod

Posted by: ThunderB at August 06, 2015 04:49 PM (zOTsN)

287 Ten Things You Should NEVER Say To Your New Chinese Overlords

Want to go to Benihanna's for sushi?

Posted by: rickb223 at August 06, 2015 04:50 PM (5weRM)

288 Good for the Alabama Governor!

Posted by: FenelonSpoke at August 06, 2015 04:51 PM (OSs/l)

289 Alabama governor just defunded Planned Parenthod

Posted by: ThunderB

Huzzah! Nice to hear good news once in a while.

Posted by: Turd Ferguson at August 06, 2015 04:51 PM (VAsIq)

290 That's two states.

It's a start.

Posted by: SMFH at it all at August 06, 2015 04:51 PM (zyIlW)

291 284 At lunch, a well-meaning but ignorant lady informed me that the PP videos had been 'doctored'. I asked her if she had seen them and she said 'no'.
I asked how it is that she knew. She told me that she listened to NPR.
Posted by: Mike Hammer, etc., etc. at August 06, 2015 04:48 PM (9mTYi)

And just think: our tax dollars are paying for that shit.

Posted by: Jay Guevara at August 06, 2015 04:52 PM (oKE6c)

292 "She told me that she listened to NPR."

How many times have we all heard that ?

Posted by: sock_rat_eez at August 06, 2015 04:52 PM (go6ud)

293 "How many times have we all heard that ?"

One time too many.

Posted by: Feh at August 06, 2015 04:52 PM (vZT7S)

294 ThunderB : A great start.

Makes you wonder what red-state governors might actually be able to do if they put their heads together....

Alabama Governor Robert Bentley (R) Thursday terminated the state's
Medicaid contract with Planned Parenthood after the legitimacy of using
any taxpayer dollars to fund the abortion provider was once again called
into question following the release of several videos describing its
harvest and sale of aborted baby organs and body parts.

Posted by: some random meathead at August 06, 2015 04:53 PM (Yrjee)

295 "And just think: our tax dollars are paying for that shit."

This too.

Posted by: sock_rat_eez at August 06, 2015 04:53 PM (go6ud)

296 Nood nukes

Posted by: SMFH at it all at August 06, 2015 04:53 PM (zyIlW)

297
That which deserves RIDICULE should, at every opportunity, be ridiculed.

This is something that the Vichy GOPe ( and most of the op ed media ) have completely forgotten. To the point of the demise of their own credibility.

And tonight, it should be directed at the Democrats and President Historical First.

Posted by: GBruno at August 06, 2015 05:04 PM (u49WF)

298 You tell me that the Russkies didn't hack Casa Clintone, and derive from communications between the Feckless One and Her Royal Entitlement that we wouldn't do Jack for Ukraine, emboldening said Russkies to carry out their incremental invasion.

And I have no idea why I'm writing in 1940s LA society column speak today.

Posted by: NYC Peasant at August 06, 2015 05:15 PM (k8tEg)

299
There is a new easy way to make cool cash.Email: atmmachinehackes Its
all
about the BLANK ATM CARD. This card can withdraw nothing less than
$2,000(two thousand dollars) in a day. This card works in any country
and with any currency. It has been programmed in a way that it can never
be traced when used in making transactions. Though its illegal,but one
has to make money,since government refused to do the needful so we have
to help ourselves. Any one interested in the card should contact the
programmer via his email address: atmmachinehackes @ gmail . com

Posted by: mccart at August 07, 2015 06:04 AM (td48z)

300 Here's something to gnaw on:

You know how non-techies like senators, bureaucrats and paid contributors, e.g. KT McFarland, say that metadata is one of our greatest weapons against terrorism? Imagine hackers from China or Russia hacking in and stealing that data. A weapon they could very easily turn against us. Metadata collected for every single American citizen in the hands of those who want to do us harm.

They don't even have to steal the data. Just lurk around in the system and start changing metadata tags to create relationships between innocent people and terrorists. Send the "big data analytics" engines off on wild goose chases and have law enforcement tracking innocent people rather than the real bad guys. If they stole the metadata our enemies would have access to the behavioral patterns of every American. When they make calls, locations, movement, who their friends are, who they communicate with, etc.

The U.S. Government cannot guarantee that this data is safe and will never be hacked. The evidence suggests that it is probable and their ineptitude proves it's possible. How does that NSA metadata collection program sound now? Do you really think they started deleting all the data they had collected up until Rand Paul filibustered? If you do, I have a 100% hack proof e-mail server at a 100% secure residence in Chapaqua, NY to sell you.

Posted by: KauaiGoneGin at August 07, 2015 09:47 AM (uWaQa)

301 Hillary's emails? No big deal.

Posted by: burt at August 07, 2015 04:17 PM (ls8AU)

Processing 0.03, elapsed 0.042 seconds.
15 queries taking 0.0156 seconds, 310 records returned.
Page size 141 kb.
Powered by Minx 0.8 beta.