Steven Hawking Leads $100 Million Effort to Find Intelligent Alien Life

No government money-- the project is being funded by Russian billionaire Yuri Milner.

Well, I guess that's a lot of Russian government money siphoned off, probably. But none of your money.

The project will just listen, not send out signals. Because, no seriously, you cannot simply assume these will be peaceful, Reeces Pieces eating ETs.

Hawking famously revealed his worry that any aliens advanced enough to contact earth would be "looking to conquer and colonize whatever planets they could reach" during a 2010 episode of the miniseries Into the Universe with Stephen Hawking.
And he clearly hasn’t changed his mind completely. "If you look at history, contact between humans and less intelligent organisms have often been disastrous from their point of view, and encounters between civilizations with advanced versus primitive technologies have gone badly for the less advanced," he told reporters at the Breakthrough announcement. "A civilization reading one of our messages could be billions of years ahead of us. If so, they will be vastly more powerful, and may not see us as any more valuable than we see bacteria."

The project will undertake to scan the million stars closest to us.

Posted by: Ace at 03:01 PM

Comments

(Jump to bottom of comments)

1
What difference, at this point, does it make?1/1/11/1!?!?!?1!?/

Posted by: Hillary Clinton at July 29, 2015 03:01 PM (HSmrB)

2 Steven Hawking Leads $100 Million Effort to Find Intelligent Alien Life

So aliens should normally be considered unintelligent!!!!!

Posted by: socalled justice weft cut-loop at July 29, 2015 03:02 PM (VY8H5)

3 Well, I guess that's a lot of Russian government money siphoned off, probably. But none of your money.

Made off our plutonium, though, eh Hillary?

Posted by: HR braucht ein Bier at July 29, 2015 03:02 PM (/kI1Q)

4 How is this new?
SETI was a Carl (Billions and Billions) Sagan thing.

Posted by: Roland THTG at July 29, 2015 03:02 PM (QM5S2)

5 The project will undertake to scan the million stars closest to us.

Good. That will keep Hawking busy so he can shut the hell up about global warming.

Posted by: ThePrimordialOrderedPair at July 29, 2015 03:02 PM (MYSVz)

6 We were talking about the Fermi Paradox the other day and I heard a lot of interesting ideas about why it might be harder to detect intelligent life and how brief the window of time in a civilization in which they use radio frequency that is easily detectable.

Posted by: dude guy at July 29, 2015 03:03 PM (q177U)

7 As much as I dearly, dearly, dearly want there to be aliens, I kind of don't really care if this project finds them.

Why?

Because all the other things that the project will find are going to be utterly fascinating.

Posted by: alexthechick - Team Joker Money Pile Being Hit By SMOD at July 29, 2015 03:04 PM (mf5HN)

8 I want Jeff Goldblum involved.

Posted by: Cicero (@cicero) at July 29, 2015 03:04 PM (8ZskC)

9

Why would the dude hire Hawking for this? Seems like a PR stunt, but I don't see the endgame.

Anyways, seems like a really stupid way to spend money if you are going to dump $100 million on space exploration.

Posted by: dan-O at July 29, 2015 03:04 PM (rnB5q)

10 thank God he's looking for the intelligent alien life and not the stupid alien life...

Posted by: phoenixgirl, i was born a rebel at July 29, 2015 03:05 PM (0O7c5)

11
Ace, RD, you should take that rescue thing off the sidebar (2005).

Posted by: Guy Mohawk at July 29, 2015 03:05 PM (ODxAs)

12
How is Hawking "leading" this?

For years he hasn't written so much as looked at letters on a screen and let his graduate assistance infer a meaning and write for him.

It's sad, I don't mean to snark, but I don't think he speaks for himself anymore.

Posted by: Bandersnatch at July 29, 2015 03:05 PM (JtwS4)

13 I want Jeff Goldblum involved.

With Will Smith?

Posted by: HR braucht ein Bier at July 29, 2015 03:06 PM (/kI1Q)

14
Let's think about this. Wouldn't a race billions of years ahead of us know if we're eavesdropping? I say we spend that money on shovels and camouflage.

Posted by: A Certain Nevada Democrat at July 29, 2015 03:06 PM (K/MPD)

15 Sidebar rescue story is ten years old.

Posted by: Bertram Cabot Jr. at July 29, 2015 03:06 PM (W5DcG)

16 2005 called and they want their rescued boys story back

Posted by: exhippie at July 29, 2015 03:06 PM (9STDh)

17 Space aliens all look like the ones from When Mars Attacks.

Posted by: Roland THTG at July 29, 2015 03:06 PM (QM5S2)

18 Shuddup, gimp.

*slap*

Hey, talk about ironic, huh? It's like, I'm the superior civilization.

Posted by: Semi-Literate Thug at July 29, 2015 03:06 PM (PAd5p)

19 Those aliens only WISH they were eating my pieces.

Posted by: Gabrielle Reece at July 29, 2015 03:06 PM (PFy0L)

20 Ummmm......don't we already have this?

Posted by: eleven at July 29, 2015 03:06 PM (jAuNn)

21 >>> Ace, RD, you should take that rescue thing off the sidebar (2005).

LOL that is hilarious!!!!

Posted by: dan-O at July 29, 2015 03:06 PM (rnB5q)

22 Eh. I adhere to the theory that we're the first and we will be the ones making contact with others much, much later. But that's just the carefully hidden optimistic part of me.

Posted by: joncelli, Boned like You at July 29, 2015 03:06 PM (RD7QR)

23 He doesn't need to spend $100 million. "Intelligent Life" is already here. But it's being ignored and marginalized for people's political preferences.

Just imagine, the first thing Liberals will probably tell extraterrestrials is that Republicans don't like immigrants.

Posted by: Marcus T at July 29, 2015 03:07 PM (GGCsk)

24 Jeff Goldblum is still too dead to help.

#twoweeks

Posted by: eleven at July 29, 2015 03:07 PM (jAuNn)

25 6 We were talking about the Fermi Paradox the other day and I heard a lot of interesting ideas about why it might be harder to detect intelligent life and how brief the window of time in a civilization in which they use radio frequency that is easily detectable.

it's pretty obvious the answer to the Fermi Paradox is socialism aka devolution.

Posted by: X at July 29, 2015 03:07 PM (xGNLA)

26 I've been to the Home Depot parking lot at 6:30 in the morning.

They may not speak the best english, but most of them seem intelligent.

Where do I go to collect my millions?

Posted by: Village Idiot's Apprentice at July 29, 2015 03:08 PM (VPLuQ)

27 @11

Yes, true. There are 2 kids missing off the Florida coast right now, though. Mixed up?

Posted by: Pecan Scandi at July 29, 2015 03:08 PM (JVWwF)

28 >>The project will just listen, not send out signals. Because, no seriously, you cannot simply assume these will be peaceful, Reeces Pieces eating ETs.-----

Men are from Earth. Women are from Hell?

Posted by: Mr. Spew Spew at July 29, 2015 03:08 PM (OLNwX)

29 I'd pay $5 just to find intelligent life in California.

Posted by: logprof at July 29, 2015 03:08 PM (B8PUe)

30 When the aliens nuke us from space then we will be sure.

Posted by: wrg500 at July 29, 2015 03:08 PM (FEAjO)

31 2005 called and they want their rescued boys story back

Posted by: exhippie

Calling attention to Rdbrewer's inability to read dates is racist.

Posted by: socalled justice weft cut-loop at July 29, 2015 03:08 PM (VY8H5)

32 those two kids were found alive!!!!! so awesome.......God is Great

Posted by: phoenixgirl, i was born a rebel at July 29, 2015 03:08 PM (0O7c5)

33 the project is being funded by Russian billionaire Yuri Milner.

Hell, find those micro giraffes!

Posted by: rickb223 at July 29, 2015 03:08 PM (TW49l)

34 Just imagine, the first thing Liberals will probably tell extraterrestrials is that Republicans don't like immigrants.

It's funny because it's true.

Posted by: HR braucht ein Bier at July 29, 2015 03:09 PM (/kI1Q)

35 Not enough money for me to be interested.

Posted by: Mr. Doo Doo at July 29, 2015 03:10 PM (OD2ni)

36 Great, and other group of illegal aliens.

Posted by: wrg500 at July 29, 2015 03:10 PM (FEAjO)

37 So when does that Neil Tyson Whats His Face get involved? He seems like a media attention sucking whore

Posted by: Mr. Spew Spew at July 29, 2015 03:10 PM (OLNwX)

38 those two kids were found alive!!!!!

And they aged ten years. Tim warp.

Posted by: Bertram Cabot Jr. at July 29, 2015 03:10 PM (W5DcG)

39 So 2 kids are missing from Florida but they were found alive in 2005? That's it, Ace needs to hand over the time machine.

Posted by: Ian S. at July 29, 2015 03:10 PM (B/VB5)

40 What makes him think that if there is indeed 'intelligent life' out there that they would want anything to do with us? I would think that if there is alien life capable of communication they would have done so already.

They've seen Detroit, DC, Los Angeles, Baltimore...

Posted by: Cheri at July 29, 2015 03:10 PM (oiNtH)

41 oh....not the kids still missing....

Posted by: phoenixgirl, i was born a rebel at July 29, 2015 03:10 PM (0O7c5)

42 Off Spew Spew sock

Posted by: Misanthropic Humanitarian at July 29, 2015 03:11 PM (OLNwX)

43 Hey, who put this big-ass monolith in in front of my Little Rascal?

Posted by: Stephen Hawking at July 29, 2015 03:11 PM (8ZskC)

44 There are intelligent aliens buried under Khufu's Great Pyramid. Also Stonehenge.

Posted by: Giorgio Tsoukalos at July 29, 2015 03:11 PM (B8PUe)

45 Eh. I adhere to the theory that we're the first and we will be the ones making contact with others much, much later. But that's just the carefully hidden optimistic part of me.

Posted by: joncelli, Boned like You at July 29, 2015 03:06 PM (RD7QR)

So you're telling me we'll develop some exotic cuisines.

Posted by: ConservativeMonster at July 29, 2015 03:11 PM (3edTg)

46 "So aliens should normally be considered unintelligent!!!!! "

If life does exist elsewhere, and it probably does, it's a good bet that more of it is lower, unintelligent life than advanced intelligent life.

Posted by: Ricardo Kill at July 29, 2015 03:11 PM (LA7Cm)

47 I don't know where this Ace guy came from, but he's an industrious little fella.

Posted by: Garrett at July 29, 2015 03:12 PM (Lgbou)

48 We won't just find them, we'll put them to work at Disney!

Posted by: El Gobernador Jeb Bush at July 29, 2015 03:12 PM (8ZskC)

49 That kind of coin can buy some very hawt research assistants

Posted by: USA at July 29, 2015 03:12 PM (brmlP)

50 Pfft. Nobody cares about that dummy, Hawking.

He talks funny and his shit's all retarded.

Posted by: Neil DeAss Tyson at July 29, 2015 03:12 PM (w9WoH)

51 It's grimly funny that a species which is still hugely and dangerously vulnerable to external local cosmic events is wasting scarce money and time on -- instead of taking concrete mitigating steps to ensure species survival -- farting about with dorm-room-stoner nonsense about finding other species at great distances away in space. Far out, man.

The proven count of planets which harbor genuinely intelligent life remains stuck at zero.

Posted by: torquewrench at July 29, 2015 03:12 PM (noWW6)

52 Barack Obama is a SCOAMT.

Posted by: AllenG (DedicatedTenther) - Not dead yet at July 29, 2015 03:12 PM (kff5f)

53 Burn it down.
Scatter the stones.
Salt the earth where it stood.

Posted by: AllenG (DedicatedTenther) - Not dead yet at July 29, 2015 03:13 PM (kff5f)

54 29
I'd pay $5 just to find intelligent life in California.

Posted by: logprof at July 29, 2015 03:08 PM (B8PUe)

I'm right here. I'll take that $5.

Posted by: kathysaysso at July 29, 2015 03:13 PM (fMQoG)

55 I hope the aliens can build an even better Lamborghini.

Posted by: Mr. Foo Foo at July 29, 2015 03:13 PM (Dwehj)

56 The teens are still lost, that's on older story the media is reporting on. Sidebar should be updated.

Posted by: Tammy al-Thor at July 29, 2015 03:13 PM (DI417)

57 BREAKING: Rescue story rescued after 10 years! It survived on server room dust bunnies and an abandoned bag on funions.

Posted by: rebel flounder at July 29, 2015 03:13 PM (Vf5rR)

58 Let's think about this. Wouldn't a race billions of years ahead of us know if we're eavesdropping? I say we spend that money on shovels and camouflage.

Posted by: A Certain Nevada Democrat at July 29, 2015 03:06 PM (K/MPD)
________

Let's take it a step further. Assuming they are eavesdropping, then they've developed defenses against computer viruses, regular viruses, and all the other weaknesses we've collectively imagined we could exploit in defeating them. But none of this will happen. Eventually there'll be a war, and they're going to win.

We should be spending our resources developing ways to survive as their slaves.

Posted by: FireHorse at July 29, 2015 03:13 PM (k9a6m)

59 There is no reason to assume that a longer span of planetary life means greater technological or intellectual advancement, that progress is inevitable.
500 years from now Earth may be ruled by cockroaches.

These ET hunters always talk as if they assume a necessary correlation between time and improvement.

Posted by: Margarita DeVille at July 29, 2015 03:13 PM (cN9Sk)

60 There are intelligent aliens buried under Khufu's Great Pyramid. Also Stonehenge.

Also, Denver International Airport.

You didn't hear it from me.

Posted by: Cicero (@cicero) at July 29, 2015 03:14 PM (8ZskC)

61 You still around, Chi? I saw your post in the last thread.

Posted by: Lauren at July 29, 2015 03:14 PM (nRlDG)

62 49 That kind of coin can buy some very hawt research assistants
Posted by: USA at July 29, 2015 03:12 PM (brmlP)

It's a bummer. They fall for you, or you fall for them.

Posted by: Tim Hunt at July 29, 2015 03:14 PM (B8PUe)

63 >>Let's think about this. Wouldn't a race billions of years ahead of us know if we're eavesdropping

Heh. Kind of like that spider creeping across the ceiling spying on you.

Posted by: Lizzy at July 29, 2015 03:14 PM (NOIQH)

64 I'd like to rent a micro giraffe just to see my dog freak out.

Posted by: Dave at Buffalo Roam at July 29, 2015 03:15 PM (MDvKH)

65
Steven Hawking obviously has not been watching my show.

Posted by: Giorgio A. Tsoukalos at July 29, 2015 03:15 PM (wAQA5)

66 "There are ~~intelligent~~ dead aliens buried under Khufu's Great Pyramid. Also Stonehenge.
"

Fixed

Posted by: Village Idiot's Apprentice at July 29, 2015 03:15 PM (VPLuQ)

67 "If you look at history, contact between humans and less intelligent
organisms have often been disastrous from their point of view, and
encounters between civilizations with advanced versus primitive
technologies have gone badly for the less advanced,"

Tell me about it.

Posted by: amoeba at July 29, 2015 03:15 PM (BjKDP)

68 Vogon Poetry Slam?

Posted by: Garrett at July 29, 2015 03:15 PM (Lgbou)

69 We should be spending our resources developing ways to survive as their slaves.

Posted by: FireHorse at July 29, 2015 03:13 PM (k9a6m)

My plan is to hang outside of their Home Depots, or whatever they call them, looking for work that their species is unwilling to do.

Posted by: rebel flounder at July 29, 2015 03:15 PM (Vf5rR)

70 I want Jeff Goldblum involved.

Posted by: Cicero (@cicero) at July 29, 2015 03:04 PM (8ZskC)

Isn't that, per the style guide, Zombie Jeff Goldblum? Who, for some reason, is now hawking Apartments.com?

Posted by: AllenG (DedicatedTenther) - Not dead yet at July 29, 2015 03:15 PM (kff5f)

71 I bet Hawking could bring in the donations. He's a smooth talker.

Posted by: Saltydonnie at July 29, 2015 03:15 PM (i6shs)

72 45 Eh. I adhere to the theory that we're the first and we will be the ones making contact with others much, much later. But that's just the carefully hidden optimistic part of me.

Posted by: joncelli, Boned like You at July 29, 2015 03:06 PM (RD7QR)

So you're telling me we'll develop some exotic cuisines.
Posted by: ConservativeMonster at July 29, 2015 03:11 PM (3edTg)

Q'thy reygublt snertygh!*

*It's a cookbook!

Posted by: Tentacled alien, yelling at his cohorts at July 29, 2015 03:15 PM (RD7QR)

73 Heh. Kind of like that spider creeping across the ceiling spying on you.
Posted by: Lizzy at July 29, 2015 03:14 PM (NOIQH)

Lizzy, I mean this is the politest possible way.

You shut your whore mouth.

Posted by: alexthechick - Team Joker Money Pile Being Hit By SMOD at July 29, 2015 03:16 PM (mf5HN)

74 "Assuming they are eavesdropping, then they've developed defenses against
computer viruses, regular viruses, and all the other weaknesses we've
collectively imagined we could exploit in defeating them. But none of
this will happen. Eventually there'll be a war, and they're going to
win. We should be spending our resources developing ways to survive as their slaves."

But enough about China for now.

Posted by: torquewrench at July 29, 2015 03:16 PM (noWW6)

75 Also: did I just *miss* the "It doesn't matter when it's Arcturian" post?

Because if it didn't get posted, I'm going to be severely disappointed in the Horde.

Posted by: AllenG (DedicatedTenther) - Not dead yet at July 29, 2015 03:16 PM (kff5f)

76 If the Universe is infinite, which it kind of has to be, but really can't be (to my puny human brain), then this should be a fun hunt. The first million stars are just a warm up.

Posted by: Lincolntf at July 29, 2015 03:16 PM (2cS/G)

77 Aliens fucked over the carbunator on Engine 4, we're gonna head to Juniper to try and refuckulate it.

Posted by: Ricky at July 29, 2015 03:17 PM (B8PUe)

78
We come...........in peace!

(Shoot to kill, men)

Posted by: James T Kirk at July 29, 2015 03:17 PM (jtStN)

79 And when those colonizing violent aliens find us, they will be so disappointed that we still have wars and nuclear weapons and shit.

*tokes*

Posted by: Neil DeGrasse Tyson at July 29, 2015 03:17 PM (1M0+8)

80 If the Universe is infinite, which it kind of has to be, but really can't be (to my puny human brain), then this should be a fun hunt. The first million stars are just a warm up.

The Universe isn't infinite, and logically cannot be.

But it's certainly close enough that it can see "infinite" on a good day.

Posted by: AllenG (DedicatedTenther) - Not dead yet at July 29, 2015 03:17 PM (kff5f)

81 Jeff Goldblum is dead?

*fist bump*

Posted by: Abe Vigoda at July 29, 2015 03:18 PM (8ZskC)

82 Of course ... the great probability is that any more advanced civilization that we could detect has already detected us. The only ones that we can find first are the galactic retards.

Posted by: ThePrimordialOrderedPair at July 29, 2015 03:18 PM (MYSVz)

83 Isn't SETI already just listening?

And I'm inclined to believe we just might be the most advanced species in our galaxy. So let us find some planets to conquer!

Posted by: NotCoach at July 29, 2015 03:18 PM (rsudF)

84 I certainly hope they aren't Clingons. Oh, my.

Posted by: Sulu at July 29, 2015 03:18 PM (Dwehj)

85 That kind of coin can buy a lot of Dr. Dre headphones

Posted by: USA at July 29, 2015 03:18 PM (brmlP)

86 Maybe you could write about how Turkey said they were joining the fight against IS, which Obama welcomed with open arms, and they are now violating Iraqi sovereignty by running non-stop airstrikes against the Kurds.

These are the same Kurds who chased IS out of Iraq.

SO Turkey joins the "fight" under false pretenses, doesn't attack their spawn, IS, and instead takes it to our allies, the Kurds.

Both Reuters and the WSJ had stories on how the Turks are destroying the Kurds.

Crickets everywhere else.

Posted by: Marcus T at July 29, 2015 03:18 PM (GGCsk)

87 they've developed defenses against

computer viruses, regular viruses, and all the other weaknesses we've

collectively imagined we could exploit in defeating them.

Get some good ol' boys (if they're not trophy-hunted to extinction) and get some pretty girls to offer to hold their beer. No problems.

Posted by: HR braucht ein Bier at July 29, 2015 03:19 PM (/kI1Q)

88 "If so, they will be vastly more powerful, and may not see us as any more valuable than we see bacteria."
---

Hey man, what the fuck?

Posted by: Bacteria at July 29, 2015 03:19 PM (UypUQ)

89 We're coming again, AND THIS TIME WE HAVE NORTON ANTIVIRUS!!!!

Posted by: The Aliens at July 29, 2015 03:19 PM (8ZskC)

90 Heh. Kind of like that spider creeping across the ceiling spying on you.
Posted by: Lizzy at July 29, 2015 03:14 PM (NOIQH)

Let's not even talk about the little spider mites that hide in your bed and eat your dead skin cells while you sleep. That may freak AtC out too much. ok?

Posted by: wrg500 at July 29, 2015 03:19 PM (FEAjO)

91 Posted by: ThePrimordialOrderedPair at July 29, 2015 03:18 PM (MYSVz)

Unless we find each other at the same time!

Also, per relativity, any other civilization which has "already" discovered us, discovered us tens if not hundreds of thousands of years ago.

Which means they know absolutely nothing about us.

Posted by: AllenG (DedicatedTenther) - Not dead yet at July 29, 2015 03:19 PM (kff5f)

92 Are there any interesting Italians who can explain all this to me?

Posted by: Low Information President at July 29, 2015 03:19 PM (UlJ3l)

93 I think the money could be better spent searching for dragon eggs.

Posted by: Lizzy at July 29, 2015 03:20 PM (NOIQH)

94 Hopefully the aliens have some Space Weed.

Posted by: Ricky at July 29, 2015 03:20 PM (B8PUe)

95 You can take three lasers and make something that appears to be a white laser but there is no such thing as a white laser. Well you could, maybe, but besides being racist the coherence length would be microscope making it NOT a laser for any practical distance.

Posted by: SpongeBobSaget at July 29, 2015 03:20 PM (zauWW)

96 If the Universe is infinite, which it kind of has to be, but really can't be (to my puny human brain),

Posted by: Lincolntf at July 29, 2015 03:16 PM (2cS/G)

The single most important direction in modern physics is to remove all notions of existing infinities. Modern physics is about the finitization of everything.

Posted by: ThePrimordialOrderedPair at July 29, 2015 03:20 PM (MYSVz)

97 What if the aliens are completely annoying jerks?

That would be awkward.

Posted by: eleven at July 29, 2015 03:20 PM (jAuNn)

98 alexthechick, I'm really hiding in your underwear drawer.

Posted by: A Large Spider at July 29, 2015 03:20 PM (LWWrf)

99
How could we possibly be less advanced than any civilization we may encounter? Just have the writers and staff of the NYT speak for us. Krugman, Friedman, Brooks and the like would represent us quite well, I'm sure.

Posted by: Krebs v Carnot: Epic Battle of the Cycling Stars(TM) at July 29, 2015 03:20 PM (hACQf)

100 "76 If the Universe is infinite, which it kind of has to be, but really can't be (to my puny human brain), then this should be a fun hunt. The first million stars are just a warm up.
Posted by: Lincolntf at July 29, 2015 03:16 PM (2cS/G)"

________________________________________________

We aren't going to find anything beyond our own backyard, our backyard being the Milky Way galaxy, and that is a very finite area compared to the rest of the universe.

Posted by: NotCoach at July 29, 2015 03:20 PM (rsudF)

101 So you're telling me we'll develop some exotic cuisines.

PP is on it!

Posted by: rickb223 at July 29, 2015 03:20 PM (TW49l)

102 Multi-cellular animals including humans are the best thing that's ever happened to bacteria.

Posted by: Cicero (@cicero) at July 29, 2015 03:20 PM (8ZskC)

103
So what will they do if they hear Mars needs women?

Posted by: wth at July 29, 2015 03:20 PM (wAQA5)

104 ~~Life~~ Death finds a way.

Posted by: zombie Jeff Goldblum at July 29, 2015 03:20 PM (w9WoH)

105 Can we stop referring to them as "aliens"? Maybe "undocumented future overlords"?

Posted by: Jeb! at July 29, 2015 03:21 PM (UlJ3l)

106 89
We're coming again, AND THIS TIME WE HAVE NORTON ANTIVIRUS!!!!

Posted by: The Aliens at July 29, 2015 03:19 PM (8ZskC)

You'll only die itching your crotch.

Posted by: Sandra Fluke at July 29, 2015 03:21 PM (Vf5rR)

107 How could the Universe terminate, with nothing beyond that boundary? And wouldn't that "nothing beyond" actually be part of the Universe?

Posted by: Lincolntf at July 29, 2015 03:21 PM (2cS/G)

108
Well when they're done discovering alien life forms maybe they can voxsplain the whole "cuckservative" thing to me.

Still completely baffled by the whole thing/non-thing, and it's one of those situations where you immediately and correctly sense it's all stupid and meaningless anyway, so you can't be bothered to get the details straight.

Posted by: rhomboid at July 29, 2015 03:21 PM (QDnY+)

109 Yeah, how come they think ETs will be just like us only better?

Posted by: Margarita DeVille at July 29, 2015 03:21 PM (cN9Sk)

110 I could be a better disabled genius than Stephen Hawkings, if I was allowed to be.

Posted by: B. Obama at July 29, 2015 03:21 PM (hiT/m)

111 Speaking of aliens:

Last night I reported a rumor that was going around Santa Cruz that the (as-yet unnamed) teen killer of Maddy Middleton came from an illegal alien family.

Just now, he being charged as an adult, and his name has finally been released:

Adrian Jerry Gonzalez

http://tinyurl.com/plp7b26

Pics from his (now deleted) Instagram account:

http://tinyurl.com/pv7pryd

So, we're halfway there to the rumor being confirmed.

More grist for the racial mill.

Posted by: zombie at July 29, 2015 03:21 PM (jBuUi)

112 82 Of course ... the great probability is that any more advanced civilization that we could detect has already detected us. The only ones that we can find first are the galactic retards.
Posted by: ThePrimordialOrderedPair at July 29, 2015 03:18 PM (MYSVz)

Well, this is the "We are as cockroaches to them" alien contingent. I figure that since they can smash us like, well, cockroaches, they don't actually care about us and we can go about the business of destroying the aliens on a technological par with us and raping their, uh, whatever they call them.

Posted by: joncelli, Boned like You at July 29, 2015 03:21 PM (RD7QR)

113 Hey man, what the fuck?

Posted by: Bacteria

Love what you did with the Gruyere.

Posted by: HR braucht ein Bier at July 29, 2015 03:22 PM (/kI1Q)

114 40
What makes him think that if there is indeed 'intelligent life' out
there that they would want anything to do with us? I would think that
if there is alien life capable of communication they would have done so
already.

-----------------

Our main problem in getting other intelligent lifeforms to notice us, let alone give a damn, is our location. Mother Sol is in the sticks, in terms of galactic location. We orbit a modest star on the outer layer of the outer edge of our arm of the galaxy. It is more likely that stars with intelligent life are located further in the center of the arm in the direction of the galactic core. There is some serious distance and a lot of galactic electromagnetic "noise" to be overcome before the likely located alien civilizations become aware of our presence.

Posted by: exdem13 at July 29, 2015 03:22 PM (ry4ab)

115 I've been playing the Breencasts from Half-Life 2 in preparation of being Earth's Administrator when the aliens finally purge the world of the unintelligent.

No more "magical thinking", peasants!

Posted by: Baked Neil Degrasse Tyson at July 29, 2015 03:22 PM (RsSZQ)

116 But but but-

What if they find Cuckstraterrestrials?

will they be racist?

Will we be racist?

Will they be Cucky?

Wiil we be Cucky?

These are the questions people.

These are the questions!!!!

Posted by: naturalfake at July 29, 2015 03:23 PM (0cMkb)

117 88
"If so, they will be vastly more powerful, and may not see us as any more valuable than we see bacteria."
---

Hey man, what the fuck?

Posted by: Bacteria at July 29, 2015 03:19 PM (UypUQ)

Word. Are bacteria considered a species? If so that comment was Spec-ist.

Posted by: amoeba at July 29, 2015 03:23 PM (BjKDP)

118 We're coming again, AND THIS TIME WE HAVE NORTON ANTIVIRUS!!!!

Posted by: The Aliens

So we have nothing to fear then, is what you're saying.

Posted by: weft cut-loop at July 29, 2015 03:23 PM (VY8H5)

119 What if C-A-T spelled dog?

Posted by: Ogre at July 29, 2015 03:23 PM (7WXUO)

120 >>Yeah, how come they think ETs will be just like us only better?

There are two certainties of most/all alien life forms:

A. They will speak English
B. There will be hot ones that I can bed.

Posted by: James T. Kirk at July 29, 2015 03:23 PM (NOIQH)

121 I look forward to, how you say, *welcoming* the ET wives to our world.

Posted by: Paolo at July 29, 2015 03:23 PM (eytER)

122 Leaving Earth today, we would arrive on Kepler 186f on July 29th, 3415. Assuming we travel at light speed.

We need better engines.

Posted by: rickb223 at July 29, 2015 03:23 PM (TW49l)

123 97 What if the aliens are completely annoying jerks? That would be awkward.

Nanu nanu.

Posted by: Alf at July 29, 2015 03:23 PM (hiT/m)

124 "107 How could the Universe terminate, with nothing beyond that boundary? And wouldn't that "nothing beyond" actually be part of the Universe?
Posted by: Lincolntf at July 29, 2015 03:21 PM (2cS/G)"

__________________________________________________

Imagine a doughnut. Now imagine the universe exists on the surface of this doughnut. Now pick a direction and travel in a straight line (staying on the surface of the doughnut). Where do you end up?

Posted by: NotCoach at July 29, 2015 03:24 PM (rsudF)

125 Hating bacteria is anti-moneran kingdomism.

Posted by: logprof at July 29, 2015 03:24 PM (7WXUO)

126 And once we find them - then what? Try to find a way to hide earth in a pan-dimensional rift?

Posted by: Mikey NTH - Sound Less Rage-Crazy, Get Quality Euphemisms at the Outrage Outlet! at July 29, 2015 03:24 PM (hLRSq)

127 How could the Universe terminate, with nothing beyond that boundary? And wouldn't that "nothing beyond" actually be part of the Universe?

Because we know (to the extent these things are knowable) that the universe is expanding. Also, since space and time are the same thing, and time must necessarily be finite (anything that is infinite can have no end, right now is the end of time (in a moment there will be a *new* end of time, but still), therefore time is not infinite), then space (which is to say - the Universe) must also be finite.

Also, an infinite thing would have no beginning - but also no end. We know (again, as far as we can know these things) that the universe will end. Therefore it must have had a beginning. Therefore it cannot be infinite.

As to what's "outside" the universe? I'm putting that solidly in the "unknowable" camp.

Posted by: AllenG (DedicatedTenther) - Not dead yet at July 29, 2015 03:24 PM (kff5f)

128
I wish I was intelligent. But there was free meat man. Meat!

Posted by: Cecil teh lion at July 29, 2015 03:24 PM (ODxAs)

129 But but but-

What if they find Cuckstraterrestrials?

will they be racist?

Will we be racist?

Will they be Cucky?

Wiil we be Cucky?

These are the questions people.

These are the questions!!!!

I have a related issue.

What if the extraterrestrials have named their species "Cuck?"

Would Gabe insist that we call them something else because "Cuck" is supposedly a racist term?

Posted by: VA GOP Sucks at July 29, 2015 03:25 PM (eytER)

130 Leaving Earth today, we would arrive
on Kepler 186f on July 29th, 3415.
Assuming we travel at light speed.
We need better engines.

Check that. Arriving 2505.
Wiki has it at 490 light years away, not 1400.

Posted by: rickb223 at July 29, 2015 03:25 PM (TW49l)

131 Imagine a doughnut. Now imagine the universe exists on the surface of this doughnut. Now pick a direction and travel in a straight line (staying on the surface of the doughnut). Where do you end up?

In the cup of coffee?

Posted by: wrg500 at July 29, 2015 03:25 PM (FEAjO)

132 >>Where do you end up?

In a sea of chocolate donut frosting?
Unless it's a boston crème filled, and then in the pudding center.

Feeling hungry now...

Posted by: James T. Kirk at July 29, 2015 03:25 PM (NOIQH)

133
The project will just listen, not send out signals.
......................
So they're monitoring for alien AM talk shows?

Posted by: wth at July 29, 2015 03:25 PM (wAQA5)

134 Their twitter will prolly has more characters than ours

Posted by: USA at July 29, 2015 03:25 PM (brmlP)

135 108

Well when they're done discovering alien life forms maybe they can voxsplain the whole "cuckservative" thing to me.

Still
completely baffled by the whole thing/non-thing, and it's one of those
situations where you immediately and correctly sense it's all stupid and
meaningless anyway, so you can't be bothered to get the details
straight.

Posted by: rhomboid at July 29, 2015 03:21 PM (QDnY+)

Heh. Exact same thoughts.

Posted by: rebel flounder at July 29, 2015 03:25 PM (Vf5rR)

136 Imagine a doughnut. Now imagine the universe exists on the surface of this doughnut.

I could lick that donut...FOREVER.

Posted by: Ariana Grande at July 29, 2015 03:25 PM (8ZskC)

137

As if the mere act of listening wouldn't be detected.

For all we know it would sound off alarms, and grow an alien an 18th tentacle.

Nobel Peace Prize, once again.

Posted by: artisanal 'ette at July 29, 2015 03:26 PM (qCMvj)

138 encounters between civilizations with advanced versus primitive technologies have gone badly for the less advanced,"

-----

Say what now?

Posted by: islam at July 29, 2015 03:26 PM (z/Ubi)

139
Imagine a doughnut. Now imagine the universe exists on the surface of this doughnut

That's a big doughnut.

Posted by: Winston Zeddemore at July 29, 2015 03:26 PM (eytER)

140 Imagine a doughnut. Now imagine the universe
exists on the surface of this doughnut. Now pick a direction and travel
in a straight line (staying on the surface of the doughnut). Where do
you end up?

Posted by: NotCoach at July 29, 2015 03:24 PM (rsudF)

Can it be a bagel?

Posted by: Einsteins at July 29, 2015 03:26 PM (BjKDP)

141 Still on the donut, where I started. What surrounds the donut? Who made the donut? What's in the hole? How many donuts are there?

Posted by: Lincolntf at July 29, 2015 03:26 PM (2cS/G)

142 Yes, I'm here, Lauren.

Sadly, the Navy called off their search for the boys yesterday. The Coast Guard, today.
The news will not be funny, and neither are any of the "jokes." 2 kids are probably dead, y'all - have a heart...

Posted by: Chi at July 29, 2015 03:26 PM (bHEwy)

143 Imagine a doughnut. Now

lick it?

Posted by: rickb223 at July 29, 2015 03:26 PM (TW49l)

144 "131 Imagine a doughnut. Now imagine the universe exists on the surface of this doughnut. Now pick a direction and travel in a straight line (staying on the surface of the doughnut). Where do you end up?

In the cup of coffee?
Posted by: wrg500 at July 29, 2015 03:25 PM (FEAjO)"

__________________________________________________

Also imagine this is a doughnut you don't want to eat, but just stare at.

Posted by: NotCoach at July 29, 2015 03:26 PM (rsudF)

145 "alexthechick, I'm really hiding in your underwear drawer."

No he isn't

Posted by: A small spider at July 29, 2015 03:26 PM (VPLuQ)

146 Donuts?

Posted by: Ariana Grandouche at July 29, 2015 03:26 PM (Dwehj)

147 Unless we find each other at the same time!

The illusive simultaneous interstellar orgasm.

Also, per relativity, any other civilization which has "already" discovered us, discovered us tens if not hundreds of thousands of years ago.

Same for us. That still puts them way ahead. And, for those who are into Star Trek, there is only one common universal time, anyway. Relativity be damned ...

Which means they know absolutely nothing about us.

Posted by: AllenG (DedicatedTenther) - Not dead yet at July 29, 2015 03:19 PM (kff5f)

Thank G-d. I'd be embarrased if they knew that we elected an 84 IQ dog-eating spazz to be president. That would just solidify in their minds that we need to be excised form the universe, post-haste.

Posted by: ThePrimordialOrderedPair at July 29, 2015 03:26 PM (MYSVz)

148 Leaving Earth today, we would arrive
on Kepler 186f on July 29th, 3415.

*With 65% on-time performance.

Posted by: American Airlines at July 29, 2015 03:27 PM (8ZskC)

149 Also, per relativity, any other civilization which has "already" discovered us, discovered us tens if not hundreds of thousands of years ago.

Which means they know absolutely nothing about us.

Sounds like the starting point for a sci-fi novel...

Posted by: Grey Fox at July 29, 2015 03:27 PM (a42f0)

150 "Can it be a bagel?
Posted by: Einsteins at July 29, 2015 03:26 PM (BjKDP)"

_______________________________________________

Yes.

Posted by: NotCoach at July 29, 2015 03:27 PM (rsudF)

151 Aliens, we have Tom Brady heah.

Wilcock and Weklah are gone though.

Posted by: Zombie Menino at July 29, 2015 03:27 PM (7WXUO)

152 112
82 Of course ... the great probability is that any more advanced
civilization that we could detect has already detected us. The only ones
that we can find first are the galactic retards.

Posted by: ThePrimordialOrderedPair at July 29, 2015 03:18 PM (MYSVz)

Well, this is the "We are as cockroaches to them" alien contingent. I
figure that since they can smash us like, well, cockroaches, they don't
actually care about us and we can go about the business of destroying
the aliens on a technological par with us and raping their, uh, whatever
they call them.
=============

The next thing besides location is finding a reason for the aliens to get in their spaceships and make the effort of a journey out here. What do we have to offer them when they arrive? Land? Water? Gems? Naked mole rats? Coca-cola? Never mind what the Vulcan fanboys and the Greys freaks think, space voyages will still need to be budgeted and accounted for, and any space people who make it here will be looking for something to take back home that is more interesting than a bunch of primitives who haven't even mastered nuclear fusion yet, let alone used it to power a spacecraft and show they can be addressed as civilized beings.

Posted by: exdem13 at July 29, 2015 03:27 PM (ry4ab)

153 He's worried that aliens would be superintelligent, amoral, and violent.

And he wants to find them.

Sounds like Stephen has a death wish.

Posted by: Feh at July 29, 2015 03:27 PM (wfznB)

154 "will just listen, not send out signals."

Just like when I hide in the closet while the left treats America like a cheap whore.

Posted by: Cuckservative at July 29, 2015 03:28 PM (w9GWK)

155
Imagine a doughnut. Now imagine the universe exists on the surface of this doughnut. Now pick a direction and travel in a straight line (staying on the surface of the doughnut). Where do you end up?
Posted by: NotCoach at July 29, 2015 03:24 PM (rsudF)

In the belly of Chris Christie?

Posted by: Krebs v Carnot: Epic Battle of the Cycling Stars(TM) at July 29, 2015 03:28 PM (hACQf)

156 Also imagine this is a doughnut you don't want to eat, but just stare at.

Burn the witch!

Posted by: HR braucht ein Bier at July 29, 2015 03:28 PM (/kI1Q)

157 Their obamaphones prolly have longer battery life

Posted by: USA at July 29, 2015 03:28 PM (brmlP)

158 Also imagine this is a doughnut you don't want to eat, but just stare at.

Posted by: NotCoach at July 29, 2015 03:26 PM (rsudF)

Easy. I don't like donuts much.

Posted by: wrg500 at July 29, 2015 03:28 PM (FEAjO)

159 "141 Still on the donut, where I started. What surrounds the donut? Who made the donut? What's in the hole? How many donuts are there?
Posted by: Lincolntf at July 29, 2015 03:26 PM (2cS/G)"

_____________________________________________

No idea. I assume God is in there somewhere (everywhere?), but we are talking about the universe, not what is inside or outside of it.

Posted by: NotCoach at July 29, 2015 03:28 PM (rsudF)

160 I'm trying to recreate dorm room convos I had 25 years ago. We went through an astrophysics/pop-space-science phase one semester, thought we had it all figured out. Good times...

Posted by: Lincolntf at July 29, 2015 03:28 PM (2cS/G)

161 >>>"alexthechick, I'm really hiding in your underwear drawer."

No he isn't
Posted by: A small spider at July 29, 2015 03:26 PM (VPLuQ)<<<

You guys need to stop lying, and trying to scare her. I can clearly see you on the shower curtain.

Posted by: medium sized spider, waiting to dangle down from the shower head at July 29, 2015 03:29 PM (w9WoH)

162
logprof, tell me about it (intelligent life in CA).

So today I'm looking for some obscure info on a tool for a milsurp rifle on Calguns, and I come across a thread wherein I learn that real mineral spirits have now been banned in most of CA. I'm not kidding.

Last year, painting some rooms in the house, the guys at the paint store, almost apologetically, were telling me to consider buying extra paint in one color, because matching colors was going to instantly become (possibly) difficult on January 1- due to CA "environmental" edicts, their paint chemistry was going to change. We had a long discussion about the insanity of CA regs outside the paint/chemical arena, by the end the whole staff there was participating. Everybody was baffled and angry about the endless, endless new intrustions on every aspect of life, all for "environmental" reasons.

Just confirms my darkest fear that there aren't many Americans left. Nobody with the historically American independent mindset would put up with 1/10 the nonsense that is choking life, freedom, and prosperity from a thousand angles in CA and elsewhere.

Posted by: rhomboid at July 29, 2015 03:29 PM (QDnY+)

163

The response to ace and the rest of us on the cuck-castrophe is an interesting read.

http://therightstuff.biz/2015/07/25/cuckservatism-response-to-ace/

Shorter version: the term can be and is used by racists, but we shouldn't bother with those using it racially. The Left doesn't showcase its crazies, why should we?

Posted by: imp at July 29, 2015 03:29 PM (XIXZz)

164 "In the belly of Chris Christie?
Posted by: Krebs v Carnot: Epic Battle of the Cycling Stars(TM) at July 29, 2015 03:28 PM (hACQf)"

______________________________________________

Also imagine the doughnut is shielded from fat cuckservatives.

Posted by: NotCoach at July 29, 2015 03:29 PM (rsudF)

165 And I, for one, would like to welcome our new Alien Overlords...

as long as they have a Green Card...

Posted by: BB Wolf at July 29, 2015 03:30 PM (qh617)

166 They prolly think their sh#t don't stink 'cause they're more intelligent and sh#t

Posted by: USA at July 29, 2015 03:30 PM (brmlP)

167 Also imagine this is a doughnut you don't want to eat, but just stare at.

Posted by: NotCoach at July 29, 2015 03:26 PM (rsudF)

Staring....staaring......if I squint my eyes I see....OMG!!!!!!

Posted by: Badda Bing at July 29, 2015 03:30 PM (BjKDP)

168 "No he isn'tPosted by: A small spider "Well I'm hiding in someone's underwear drawer and they should be ashaaaamed.

Posted by: A Large Spider at July 29, 2015 03:30 PM (LWWrf)

169 If they're listening to us, I hope they tune in to KPIG occasionally.

Posted by: wth at July 29, 2015 03:30 PM (wAQA5)

170 That's cute. You boys have fun.

Posted by: Dang at July 29, 2015 03:31 PM (2oWD2)

171 99

How could we possibly be less advanced than any civilization we may
encounter? Just have the writers and staff of the NYT speak for us.
Krugman, Friedman, Brooks and the like would represent us quite well,
I'm sure.
------------
We want to start relations with the spacemen on a good level, not have them go all Cortes on us.

Posted by: exdem13 at July 29, 2015 03:31 PM (ry4ab)

172 ...And pray that there's intelligent life somewhere out in space, 'cause there's bugger all down here on Earth.

Posted by: Brother Cavil, down with Eph 6:12-13 at July 29, 2015 03:31 PM (2l5vw)

173 Heh, I'm reminded of the old T-shirts with "Beam me up Scotty. There's no intelligent life here."

And the ones with "The only sign of intelligent life in Gainesville" with a sign indicating the distance to Tallahassee.

Posted by: logprof at July 29, 2015 03:32 PM (7WXUO)

174 "You guys need to stop lying, and trying to scare her. I can clearly see you on the shower curtain. "

Pffft

Posted by: Spider on the ceiling above the toilet. Gotta poop some time at July 29, 2015 03:32 PM (VPLuQ)

175 Yuri Milner, ah, the breakthrough prize guy.

Posted by: Feh at July 29, 2015 03:33 PM (wfznB)

176 The aliens will be kind to us. We came up with the Rolling Stones and there's a chance we'll get something right again.

Posted by: Bandersnatch at July 29, 2015 03:33 PM (JtwS4)

177 You guys need to stop lying, and trying to scare her. I can clearly see you on the shower curtain.

Posted by: medium sized spider, waiting to dangle down from the shower head at July 29, 2015 03:29 PM (w9WoH)

Pikers, hide in on of her bra's. Plenty of room and when she see you as she is putting it on. Well, let me just say OH MY!!

Posted by: face size spider in AtC's closet at July 29, 2015 03:33 PM (FEAjO)

178 An eclair is still a doughnut. So what now? I've moved and now have fallen off.

I'd really like an eclair right now.

Posted by: Misfortune & Pestilence at July 29, 2015 03:33 PM (w9GWK)

179
Imagine a doughnut. Now imagine the universe exists on the surface of this doughnut
.......................
so are we glazed or sprinkled?

Posted by: wth at July 29, 2015 03:33 PM (wAQA5)

180 " this is a doughnut you don't want to eat, but just stare at. "

I don't understand these words, in this order.

Posted by: Village Idiot's Apprentice at July 29, 2015 03:33 PM (VPLuQ)

181
Thanks for the update zombie (although I hadn't heard of the case before). Just sad, I have an 8 year old. And if the dude is an illegal, hoo boy.

Posted by: Guy Mohawk at July 29, 2015 03:33 PM (ODxAs)

182 Posted by: rhomboid at July 29, 2015 03:29 PM (QDnY+)

Its not that Californians like these regulations, its that the Legislature (like the US Congress had done), has outsourced to the unelected making said regulations.

And it is impossible to fight them.... hell, even when we voted DOWN Gay Marriage, we lost...

Its like the High Speed Rail boondoggle... makes no sense, most don't want it... yet the State is pushing it through anyway because our Elected Officials are NOT really accountable to the electorate anymore (or at least, both they and the electorate ACT like they are not).

Posted by: BB Wolf at July 29, 2015 03:33 PM (qh617)

183 I bet we see angels before we see aliens.

Posted by: Dave at Buffalo Roam at July 29, 2015 03:34 PM (MDvKH)

184 Still on the donut, where I started. What surrounds the donut? Who made the donut? What's in the hole? How many donuts are there?

Mmmmm...donuts...

Posted by: Homeractus, Devourer of Analogies at July 29, 2015 03:34 PM (2l5vw)

185 The star maker says, "It ain't so bad"
The dream maker's going make you mad
The spaceman says, "Everybody look down
Its all in your mind"

Posted by: Killers at July 29, 2015 03:34 PM (7WXUO)

186 It is quite possible the spacemen think we are the galactic version of North Sentinel Island, and they will come back later when the response to their arrival is for us not to gibber, howl, and hurl rocks and darts at them.

Posted by: exdem13 at July 29, 2015 03:34 PM (ry4ab)

187 "179
Imagine a doughnut. Now imagine the universe exists on the surface of this doughnut
.......................
so are we glazed or sprinkled?
Posted by: wth at July 29, 2015 03:33 PM (wAQA5)"

_______________________________________________

Chocolate frosted.

Posted by: NotCoach at July 29, 2015 03:34 PM (rsudF)

188 While I give credence to the Fermi paradox, I'd like to know how we'd recognize alien life if we found it. It's making a leap to assume it'll look like Star Trek.

Posted by: AD at July 29, 2015 03:34 PM (c+ORA)

189 I view Hawking about the same as Neil degrasse Tyson. The media loved him. They wanted him to be the next Einstein. But has he really achieved that much? Has his research really given us some groundbreaking understanding of the universe beyond what his other contemporaries have given that we should know his name but not theirs?

Posted by: Buzzion at July 29, 2015 03:34 PM (z/Ubi)

190 Don't we have enough aliens invading our borders already? Do we really have to go looking for more? Hell, I'm in Southern California, and I thought they were all here already.

Posted by: Keith Arnold at July 29, 2015 03:35 PM (iIzG7)

191 167
Also imagine this is a doughnut you don't want to eat, but just stare at.

Posted by: NotCoach at July 29, 2015 03:26 PM (rsudF)

What the heeeell is dat ting?

Posted by: Bill Murray-Steve Martin at July 29, 2015 03:35 PM (BjKDP)

192 Interesting, but I wish He would go the f**k away...

Posted by: donna at July 29, 2015 03:35 PM (hUdMz)

193 Why? Why not leave sleeping dogs lie? They have no idea whether or not they would obliterate us so why risk it? I resent that he is risking getting us killed. I bet he supports that Iran deal, too.

Posted by: Bruce With a Wang! at July 29, 2015 03:35 PM (iQIUe)

194 While I give credence to the Fermi paradox, I'd like to know how we'd recognize alien life if we found it. It's making a leap to assume it'll look like Star Trek.

I'm thinking Stanislaw Lem is going to be more on the mark here.

Posted by: Brother Cavil, down with Eph 6:12-13 at July 29, 2015 03:35 PM (2l5vw)

195 All your doughnuts, and Kate Upton, are belong to us. That is all.

Posted by: Lurking Alien, Delurked at July 29, 2015 03:35 PM (Vf5rR)

196 Isn't the NSA already listening?

Posted by: parteagirl at July 29, 2015 03:35 PM (Plx/u)

197 Isn't Yuri Milner the guy who can bend spoons with his mind?

Apparently he made a killing at it.

Posted by: logprof at July 29, 2015 03:35 PM (7WXUO)

198 There's a star man waiting in the skies. He'd like to come and meet us, but he thinks he'd blow our minds.

Posted by: Bandersnatch at July 29, 2015 03:36 PM (JtwS4)

199 While I give credence to the Fermi paradox, I'd like to know how we'd recognize alien life if we found it.

Look for the hawt green chick with big cans and some horns on her head.

Posted by: Capt. Kirk at July 29, 2015 03:36 PM (8ZskC)

200 "Well I'm hiding in someone's underwear drawer and they should be ashaaaamed."

Wait, what...?

A fleshlight??

Who's room do you think you're in?

Posted by: Village Idiot's Apprentice at July 29, 2015 03:36 PM (VPLuQ)

201 141 Still on the donut, where I started. What surrounds the donut? Who made the donut? What's in the hole? How many donuts are there?

Posted by: Lincolntf at July 29, 2015 03:26 PM (2cS/G)

Your question about the universe can be finite in 3-dimensional volume could easily be stated in higher dimensions - how can the universe not extend in the nth dimension. There is no difference between a universe that has a finite character in three dimensions versus one that doesn't even have any size in a higher spacial dimension. But, you have no problem imagining a universe that only extends in three spatial dimensions (coinciding with your perceptions) so you just have to take your attitude to a universe that sits in a 1000 dimensional "space" but only takes up three of them and relate that feeling to the idea that the universe can be finite in those three dimensions.

Posted by: ThePrimordialOrderedPair at July 29, 2015 03:36 PM (MYSVz)

202 so are we glazed or sprinkled?

Sprinkles are for winners.

Posted by: rickb223 at July 29, 2015 03:37 PM (TW49l)

203 Maybe they'll do the Battleship thing and attract some monstrous alien race that will come and brutally murder us all - starting with the fucked up leftists and muzzies, naturally.

Maybe we could pay to watch.

At least there would be some good news for a change. Certainly couldn't get any worse.

Posted by: Semper In Stercus at July 29, 2015 03:37 PM (BZAd3)

204 The aliens are going to steal our wimmenz! Don't be a Cuckearthling, fight back!

Posted by: Lincolntf at July 29, 2015 03:37 PM (2cS/G)

205
Isn't Yuri Milner the guy who can bend spoons with his mind?

That was Yuri Geller.

Posted by: Bandersnatch at July 29, 2015 03:37 PM (JtwS4)

206 Heh, Milner paid 100M for a CA property assessed at 50M.

Posted by: Feh at July 29, 2015 03:37 PM (wfznB)

207

166 They prolly think their sh#t don't stink 'cause they're more intelligent and sh#t

Posted by: USA

They'll talk like a fag and their shit will be all retarded. They'll say (whiny voice) "you GOTTA believe meeee!!!!"

Posted by: imp at July 29, 2015 03:37 PM (XIXZz)

208 180 " this is a doughnut you don't want to eat, but just stare at. "

I don't understand these words, in this order.
Posted by: Village Idiot's Apprentice at July 29, 2015 03:33 PM (VPLuQ)

--Reminds me of theJim Gaffigan joke.

"I don't get the stereotype of cops liking doughnuts. You know who else likes doughnuts? Everybody!!"

Posted by: logprof at July 29, 2015 03:37 PM (7WXUO)

209 Boy the donut comment got legs...amirite? I bit.

Posted by: Badda Bing at July 29, 2015 03:37 PM (BjKDP)

210 My friendshhh, you have nothing to fear from our new alien overlords.

Posted by: John Lord McCain at July 29, 2015 03:38 PM (wfznB)

211 The aliens are going to steal our wimmenz! Don't be a Cuckearthling, fight back!

Give 'em the feminists. Sounds win-win to me.

Posted by: Brother Cavil, down with Eph 6:12-13 at July 29, 2015 03:38 PM (2l5vw)

212 I don't care much for yeast doughnuts, unless then have cream or lemon filling inside them.

Posted by: logprof at July 29, 2015 03:38 PM (7WXUO)

213 I'm still waiting to find intelligent life on this Planet...

Posted by: donna at July 29, 2015 03:38 PM (hUdMz)

214
What makes him think that if there is indeed 'intelligent life' out there that they would want anything to do with us? I would think that if there is alien life capable of communication they would have done so already.

They've seen Detroit, DC, Los Angeles, Baltimore...

Posted by: Cheri at July 29, 2015 03:10 PM (oiNtH)

Some wag used to opine that the most convincing evidence of truly intelligent extraterrestrial life is that they've chosen not to reveal themselves to us humans.

Might have been a joke from Robin Williams.....or from the guy Williams stole the joke from.

Posted by: IllTemperedCur at July 29, 2015 03:38 PM (BcfrM)

215 Perhaps Hawking should try finding some intelligent life here first?

Posted by: blaster at July 29, 2015 03:38 PM (2Ocf1)

216 Sci-fi author Ian Banks (lefty, but he wrote a good tale) called this the Outside Context Problem (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Excession#Outside_Context_Problem) and explored it in one of his novels:

"The usual example given to illustrate an Outside Context Problem was imagining you were a tribe on a largish, fertile island; you'd tamed the land, invented the wheel or writing or whatever, the neighbors were cooperative or enslaved but at any rate peaceful and you were busy raising temples to yourself with all the excess productive capacity you had, you were in a position of near-absolute power and control which your hallowed ancestors could hardly have dreamed of and the whole situation was just running along nicely like a canoe on wet grass... when suddenly this bristling lump of iron appears sailless and trailing steam in the bay and these guys carrying long funny-looking sticks come ashore and announce you've just been discovered, you're all subjects of the Emperor now, he's keen on presents called tax and these bright-eyed holy men would like a word with your priests."

Posted by: Bitblt at July 29, 2015 03:38 PM (qc3jm)

217 I don't think it's a big donut.
I think it's a Moebius strip.
But I do think it is glazed.

Posted by: Margarita DeVille at July 29, 2015 03:39 PM (cN9Sk)

218 >>>Pffft

Posted by: Spider on the ceiling above the toilet. Gotta poop some time at July 29, 2015 03:32 PM (VPLuQ)<<<

Eww. Sicko. What are you... German?

Posted by: medium sized spider, waiting to dangle down from the shower head at July 29, 2015 03:39 PM (w9WoH)

219 211
The aliens are going to steal our wimmenz! Don't be a Cuckearthling, fight back!

Give 'em the feminists. Sounds win-win to me.

Posted by: Brother Cavil, down with Eph 6:12-13 at July 29, 2015 03:38 PM (2l5vw)

hell they look like aliens.

Posted by: Badda Bing at July 29, 2015 03:39 PM (BjKDP)

220 44 There are intelligent aliens buried under Khufu's Great Pyramid. Also Stonehenge.
Posted by: Giorgio Tsoukalos at July 29, 2015 03:11 PM

You should see what all is rattling around up here!

Posted by: Giorgio Tsoukalos's Hair at July 29, 2015 03:39 PM (+HxkQ)

221 Ugly aliens...wait.

Posted by: Badda Bing at July 29, 2015 03:39 PM (BjKDP)

222
I'm still waiting to find intelligent life on this Planet...

And *here* is where you came to look?

Posted by: Bandersnatch at July 29, 2015 03:39 PM (JtwS4)

223 They ain't gonna conquer us.

They're gonna bukkake us. Not out of hate or anything, but because they think that's how we say Hi now.

Posted by: Bigby's Poking Finger at July 29, 2015 03:39 PM (3ZtZW)

224 Boy the donut comment got legs...amirite? I bit.

You single handedly destroyed our universe! You were just supposed to look!

Posted by: rickb223 at July 29, 2015 03:40 PM (TW49l)

225 The aliens are going to steal our wimmenz! Don't be a Cuckearthling, fight back!

I'd offer my wife in tribute, but they would just give her back.

Posted by: wrg500 at July 29, 2015 03:40 PM (FEAjO)

226 " this is a doughnut you don't want to eat, but just stare at. "

Unpossible!

Posted by: Misfortune & Pestilence at July 29, 2015 03:40 PM (w9GWK)

227 A sci fi movie made a few year ago...we sent out messages in all directions about where we are in the cosmos and we finally got a reply, were we ever sorry, they came to destroy us...

Posted by: Colin at July 29, 2015 03:40 PM (pU8wz)

228 The only person on the planet capable of communicating clearly with such aliens would be our 11-dimensional chess playing preznint, of course.

De-boned and served on a bed of salad greens and wild rice we are.

Posted by: Krebs v Carnot: Epic Battle of the Cycling Stars(TM) at July 29, 2015 03:41 PM (hACQf)

229
I'd offer my wife in tribute, but they would just give her back.

Posted by: wrg500 at July 29, 2015 03:40 PM (FEAjO)

*rim shot*

Posted by: Alien at July 29, 2015 03:41 PM (BjKDP)

230 Hawking famously revealed his worry that any aliens advanced enough to contact earth would be "looking to conquer and colonize whatever planets they could reach" during a 2010 episode of the miniseries Into the Universe with Stephen Hawking.

-
Can't we just tell them we want to coexist?

Posted by: The Great White Snark at July 29, 2015 03:41 PM (XUKZU)

231 Good night! Go gentle into that donut!

Posted by: Rage, rage against the dying of the light. at July 29, 2015 03:41 PM (hiT/m)

232 I'm still waiting to find intelligent life on this Planet...

And *here* is where you came to look?

Odd huh...

Posted by: donna at July 29, 2015 03:41 PM (hUdMz)

233 They can't have your wives! They're already mine!

Posted by: Paolo at July 29, 2015 03:41 PM (1M0+8)

234
Heh, Milner paid 100M for a CA property assessed at 50M.

Posted by: Feh at July 29, 2015 03:37 PM (wfznB)

Who knew that the TV residuals for Adam 12 would be so lucrative?

Posted by: IllTemperedCur at July 29, 2015 03:42 PM (BcfrM)

235 I like cake doughnuts, but that raises the methaphysical question:

Are cake doughnuts really doughnuts, or just small, doughnut-shaped cakes?

Did I just blow your mind?

Pass the bong, man.

Posted by: logprof at July 29, 2015 03:42 PM (7WXUO)

236 John Kerry, please report to the transporter room.

Posted by: John Lord McCain at July 29, 2015 03:42 PM (wfznB)

237 Now I want a doughnut..

Posted by: donna at July 29, 2015 03:43 PM (hUdMz)

238 I would pony up $10.00 if you can find intelligent life on Earth let alone aliens.

I glad I'm dead.

Posted by: Zombie Albert Einstein at July 29, 2015 03:43 PM (D0NZx)

239 We should already be sending out a message saying, "We surrender!"

Posted by: SCOAMF and Lurch Kerry at July 29, 2015 03:43 PM (w9WoH)

240
Are cake doughnuts really doughnuts, or just small, doughnut-shaped cakes?

Cake doughnuts are an abomination. A tasty abomination, but an abomination nonetheless.

Posted by: IllTemperedCur at July 29, 2015 03:43 PM (BcfrM)

241 Just because Hawkings wants to be anally probed, doesnt mean the rest of us do.

Posted by: Bruce With a Wang! at July 29, 2015 03:43 PM (iQIUe)

242 I'm in the minority but I think we are the only intelligent life in the Universe. If the chances of life arising out of a primordial mixture of chemicals on earth is is 4^300 what are the chances it would happen twice?

Posted by: Cruzinator at July 29, 2015 03:44 PM (p/8Bt)

243 "...they think that's how we say Hi now."

Bukakke: Because it's all fun and games until someone takes a load in the eye.

Posted by: Azenogoth (Freedom or Fire) at July 29, 2015 03:44 PM (UPYPp)

244 Well maybe the little green martians from Mars Attacks! can come and blow up Congress...

Posted by: donna at July 29, 2015 03:44 PM (hUdMz)

245 Go gentle into that donut!

Pervert.

Posted by: Toasterfucker at July 29, 2015 03:44 PM (/kI1Q)

246 The universe just came out of this giant doughnut fryer in the sky.

Posted by: Neil deGrasse Tyson at July 29, 2015 03:45 PM (w9GWK)

247
I'd like to know how we'd recognize alien life if we found it. It's making a leap to assume it'll look like Star Trek.
...........................
Even so, I volunteer to look under Uhura's skirt. To be safe.

Posted by: wth at July 29, 2015 03:45 PM (wAQA5)

248 186 It is quite possible the spacemen think we are the galactic version of North Sentinel Island, and they will come back later when the response to their arrival is for us not to gibber, howl, and hurl rocks and darts at them.

Posted by: exdem13 at July 29, 2015 03:34 PM (ry4ab)

Nuke them from orbit, its the only way to be sure...

Posted by: Alien Sgt. looking down on Earth at July 29, 2015 03:45 PM (qh617)

249 Just gonna leave this here for AtC:

https://goo.gl/1rQu9P

Posted by: physics geek at July 29, 2015 03:46 PM (MT22W)

250 We should already be sending out a message saying, "We surrender!"

We're on it!

Posted by: The GOPe at July 29, 2015 03:46 PM (w9GWK)

251 If the chances of life arising out of a primordial mixture of chemicals on earth is is 4^300 what are the chances it would happen twice?

Posted by: Cruzinator at July 29, 2015 03:44 PM (p/8Bt)

3:1 ... at least.

Posted by: Reverend Jim at July 29, 2015 03:46 PM (MYSVz)

252 One thing is certain: Their wheels will be fly

Posted by: USA at July 29, 2015 03:47 PM (brmlP)

253 Well maybe the little green martians from Mars Attacks! can come and blow up Congress...

When I saw that in the theater, some in the audience clapped!

Posted by: Colin at July 29, 2015 03:47 PM (pU8wz)

254 Can't we just tell them we want to coexist?

Posted by: The Great White Snark at July 29, 2015 03:41 PM (XUKZU)

If their more intelligent, they will never fall for that one, rube.

Posted by: Social Justice Walker at July 29, 2015 03:48 PM (Vf5rR)

255 Trains, planes, or automobiles, you betta have my DO-nutsss

https://youtu.be/ZukVN_djZds

Posted by: Delonte West at July 29, 2015 03:48 PM (7WXUO)

256 They're - doh!

Posted by: Social Justice Walker at July 29, 2015 03:48 PM (Vf5rR)

257 This whole thing is just a front for the Clinton Foundation.

Posted by: Roy at July 29, 2015 03:48 PM (VndSC)

258 "Just gonna leave this here for AtC: "

It was nice knowing you.

Posted by: Village Idiot's Apprentice at July 29, 2015 03:49 PM (VPLuQ)

259 Saw your message, Chi. I'm happy to help. What can I do for you?

Posted by: Lauren at July 29, 2015 03:49 PM (nRlDG)

260 It was nice knowing you.

Posted by: Village Idiot's Apprentice at July 29, 2015 03:49 PM (VPLuQ)

Drink a beer in memory at next year's MoMee.

Posted by: physics geek at July 29, 2015 03:49 PM (MT22W)

261 It wouldn't surprise me if bi-pedalism is a common trait of intelligent life in the U.

At least of "terrestrial" beings.

Some thing evolved, say, in the clouds of Jupiter would certainly not be like us at all.

Posted by: eleven at July 29, 2015 03:50 PM (jAuNn)

262 Twice? With infinite time and space, twice is nothing. This is where I divorce myself from the mathematical "infinity" and use the, for lack of a better word, vulgar, understanding of "infinity". If time and space last forever, then won't everything happen sooner or later, an infinite number of times?

Posted by: Lincolntf at July 29, 2015 03:50 PM (2cS/G)

263 Go gentle into that donut!

Pervert.
Posted by: Toasterfucker at July 29, 2015 03:44 PM (/kI1Q)
********
Fuck you Dude!

Posted by: Couch Fucker at July 29, 2015 03:50 PM (fLKzW)

264 I should have known better than trying to teach hobo killing morons about the finite nature of the universe with no walls by using doughnuts as an example. And now I'm also hungry for doughnuts. Time to leave work. Maybe I'll pick up some chocolate frosted universes on the way home.

Posted by: NotCoach at July 29, 2015 03:50 PM (rsudF)

265
I like cake doughnuts, but that raises the methaphysical question:

Are cake doughnuts really doughnuts, or just small, doughnut-shaped cakes?

Did I just blow your mind?

Pass the bong, man.
Posted by: logprof
...............................
Puuuuuuffff. *cough cough*
I think it's like doughnut atoms are really little solar systems in a Hostess Donette universe, man.

Posted by: wth at July 29, 2015 03:50 PM (wAQA5)

266 I'm in the minority but I think we are the only intelligent life in the Universe. If the chances of life arising out of a primordial mixture of chemicals on earth is is 4^300 what are the chances it would happen twice?

Posted by: Cruzinator at July 29, 2015 03:44 PM (p/8Bt)

Indistinguishable from the chances it happens once.

Posted by: ConservativeMonster at July 29, 2015 03:51 PM (3edTg)

267 Earthlings! I did come to conquer you. But not in the way that you mean.

Posted by: Paolo at July 29, 2015 03:51 PM (c+ORA)

268 "Drink a beer in memory at next year's MoMee."

Mrs VIA is going to be so disappointed.

She had a blast with you guys.

Posted by: Village Idiot's Apprentice at July 29, 2015 03:51 PM (VPLuQ)

269 Thing is, even if aliens were well-disposed towards Humanity they'd still probably foment terrible wars between us all by their interactions with us.

Imagine, for example, if the aliens brought with them a new religion - not necessarily The Truth, but just something new and at odds with what we collectively believe - and a wide swath of Humanity adopted that?

Posted by: Bigby's Poking Finger at July 29, 2015 03:51 PM (3ZtZW)

270 Just because Hawkings wants to be anally probed, doesnt mean the rest of us do.

How would he know?

Posted by: rickb223 at July 29, 2015 03:51 PM (TW49l)

271
It's donuts all the way down...

Posted by: Krebs v Carnot: Epic Battle of the Cycling Stars(TM) at July 29, 2015 03:51 PM (hACQf)

272 Physics geek, AtC gets kittens

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v5h_SGV5SYA

Posted by: wrg500 at July 29, 2015 03:51 PM (FEAjO)

273
Linda Tripp speaks. " 'Hillary must NEVER become President', says the woman who exposed Bill's affair with Monica. Former Clinton West Wing assistant Linda Tripp says Democratic contender is a liar who treats the public with contempt"

http://preview.tinyurl.com/pvmg3wx

Posted by: Mike Hammer, etc., etc. at July 29, 2015 03:51 PM (9mTYi)

274 261 It wouldn't surprise me if bi-pedalism is a common trait of intelligent life in the U.

At least of "terrestrial" beings.

Some thing evolved, say, in the clouds of Jupiter would certainly not be like us at all.
Posted by: eleven at July 29, 2015 03:50 PM (jAuNn)

--We could not use simple tools if we were quadrupeds.

Posted by: logprof at July 29, 2015 03:51 PM (7WXUO)

275

if they ask whether you are a god, remember to always say yes.

Posted by: imp at July 29, 2015 03:52 PM (XIXZz)

276
I should have known better than trying to teach hobo killing morons about the finite nature of the universe with no walls by using doughnuts as an example.
................................
maybe you should have tried boobehs instead?

Posted by: wth at July 29, 2015 03:52 PM (wAQA5)

277 It's all coming down to cockroaches anyway.
If there is life on other planets, I say most of them just stopped once they got to cockroaches in the first place. Then there might be a few (like us) that developed so-called higher forms that gradually gave way to cockroaches.

Posted by: Margarita DeVille at July 29, 2015 03:52 PM (cN9Sk)

278 Is anyone else tired of the media shoving Tom Brady's balls in our faces?

Posted by: logprof at July 29, 2015 03:53 PM (7WXUO)

279 Earthlings! I did come to conquer you. But not in the way that you mean.

Does that mean they will watch some internet porn, and get new ideas?

Posted by: Colin at July 29, 2015 03:53 PM (pU8wz)

280 Posted by: Lincolntf at July 29, 2015 03:50 PM (2cS/G)

Except we are talking about an infinite number right now. If conventional scientific wisdom is to be believed , the Universe is about 14 billion years old.

Posted by: Cruzinator at July 29, 2015 03:53 PM (p/8Bt)

281

We could not use simple tools if we were quadrupeds.

Posted by: logprof

We could if we were hexapods.

Posted by: imp at July 29, 2015 03:53 PM (XIXZz)

282 279: "Does that mean they will watch some internet porn, and get new ideas?"

One does not simply browse through PornHub.

Posted by: Azenogoth (Freedom or Fire) at July 29, 2015 03:53 PM (UPYPp)

283 If time and space last forever, then won't everything happen sooner or later, an infinite number of times?

Posted by: Lincolntf at July 29, 2015 03:50 PM (2cS/G)

Yes. And if Quantum Theory is to be believed then totally ridiculous, "laws-of-physics" violating events will occur infinite times, too ... because, in Quantum Theory, there are no "Laws of Physics"; things just happen with frequencies that give the impression that the universe is rational and obeys certain concrete laws.

Posted by: ThePrimordialOrderedPair at July 29, 2015 03:53 PM (MYSVz)

284
There's already a recipe for Ace of Spades in the How To Serve Man cookbook.

That episode terrified me as a kid.

Posted by: Bruce With a Wang! at July 29, 2015 03:54 PM (iQIUe)

285 Paolo

Everyday you say your going to take my wife, and every night I go home and there she is. WHAT THE HELL IS TAKING YOU SO LONG!!!!

Posted by: wrg500 at July 29, 2015 03:54 PM (FEAjO)

286 Is anyone else tired of the media shoving Tom Brady's balls in our faces?
Posted by: logprof at July 29, 2015 03:53 PM (7WXUO)
******
No.... not really

Posted by: Bawney Fwank at July 29, 2015 03:54 PM (fLKzW)

287 "maybe you should have tried boobehs instead?
"

So imagine licking around the surface of the boobeh. Starting at one point and working your tongue around the smooth surface until.........

No, no, that wouldn't work.

Posted by: Village Idiot's Apprentice at July 29, 2015 03:54 PM (VPLuQ)

288 "Does that mean they will watch some internet porn, and get new ideas?"

It means they'll watch internet porn and then never get out of their alien chairs.

There is nothing fapping cannot solve.

Posted by: John Lord McCain at July 29, 2015 03:54 PM (wfznB)

289 My plan is to hang outside of their Home Depots, or whatever they call them, looking for work that their species is unwilling to do.

-
And not pay taxes.

Posted by: The Great White Snark at July 29, 2015 03:54 PM (XUKZU)

290 242
I'm in the minority but I think we are the only intelligent life in the
Universe. If the chances of life arising out of a primordial mixture of
chemicals on earth is is 4^300 what are the chances it would happen
twice?

Posted by: Cruzinator at July 29, 2015 03:44 PM (p/8Bt)

4^300 x 2, duh! Do you even science, bro?

Posted by: Neil DeGrasse Tyson at July 29, 2015 03:54 PM (Vf5rR)

291 I should have known better than trying to teach hobo killing morons about the finite nature of the universe with no walls by using doughnuts as an example.
---------------

This is about me, right?

Posted by: Topology at July 29, 2015 03:55 PM (9mTYi)

292 274 --- It wouldn't surprise me if bi-pedalism is a common trait of intelligent life in the U.
--We could not use simple TOOLS if we were quadrupeds.

Posted by: logprof at July 29, 2015 03:51 PM (7WXUO)
----------------
Fuck you.

Posted by: Galactic horde of cockroaches at July 29, 2015 03:56 PM (cN9Sk)

293 "things just happen"

I thought probabilities at the quantum level were known, just not locations of where and which quanta would show up.

Posted by: John Lord McCain at July 29, 2015 03:56 PM (wfznB)

294 If television signals are travelling the universe as theorized and inhabitants searching for signals from another star system will eventually receive "Keeping Up With The Kardashians" and "Jersey Shore"

The whole project will then be scrapped and its research scientists will be eaten

Posted by: kbdabear at July 29, 2015 03:56 PM (GrXXa)

295 Speaking of lower live forms ...

Prosecutors charged Rep. Chaka Fattah, D-Pa., Wednesday in a 29-count indictment with racketeering conspiracy, bribery and wire fraud as part of a probe into the 11-term congressman launched by the FBI and IRS in March 2013.

... notice anything about this lead paragraph ?
If you caught it, you know Chaka Fattah is toast.

Hint: they mentioned something that is usually missing.

Posted by: Dr. Jeremy Stone at July 29, 2015 03:56 PM (e8kgV)

296 --We could not use simple tools if we were quadrupeds.

Exactly. How could any tech civilization exist without "Hands"?

Posted by: eleven at July 29, 2015 03:56 PM (jAuNn)

297 67 "If you look at history, contact between humans and less intelligent
organisms have often been disastrous from their point of view, and
encounters between civilizations with advanced versus primitive
technologies have gone badly for the less advanced,

Tell me about it

Posted by: The Spanish Flue and The Plague at July 29, 2015 03:56 PM (XhzTz)

298 We could if we were hexapods.
Posted by: imp at July 29, 2015 03:53 PM (XIXZz)

--Come to think of it, we could have cool mandibles like ants to wield tools.

Posted by: logprof at July 29, 2015 03:56 PM (7WXUO)

299 Last night I reported a rumor that was going around Santa Cruz that the (as-yet unnamed) teen killer of Maddy Middleton came from an illegal alien family.

-
When I first heard this story on the radio news yesterday or the day before they said he "had been here since 2009."

Posted by: The Great White Snark at July 29, 2015 03:56 PM (XUKZU)

300 --We could not use simple tools if we were quadrupeds.

She's not that simple.

Posted by: HR's cats at July 29, 2015 03:57 PM (/kI1Q)

301 If you look at history, contact between humans and less intelligent
organisms have often been disastrous from their point of view, and
encounters between civilizations with advanced versus primitive
technologies have gone badly for the less advanced,

=====

Exception for the Sentinel Islanders noted

Posted by: Bigby's Poking Finger at July 29, 2015 03:57 PM (3ZtZW)

302 That's the other thing that semanticizes the discussion, which I always enjoy because nobody can ever know if they're right or wrong, the definitions of "Universe", "Infinity" and "Infinite Universe". When talking about The Meaning of Life-type things, I use all three to indicate the same thing. That everything is and has been in existence forever. Whatever existed/happened before 14 billion years ago is just as much a part of "Infinity" as what happened after. I know, that presupposes time existed before 14 billion years ago, but how could it not? Something led to the Event, or some"One" caused it to happen.

Posted by: Lincolntf at July 29, 2015 03:58 PM (2cS/G)

303 This is about me, right?
Posted by: Topology
-----------------

Kind of...

Posted by: Homeomorphism at July 29, 2015 03:58 PM (9mTYi)

304 "What do we have to offer them when they arrive? Land? Water? Gems? Naked mole rats? Coca-cola?"

I welcome our new alien masters and offer them prime specimens of humanity:

Here's Lena Dunham! Hillary and Bill! Bill Ayers! Joe Biden! Jack Black!

Take them with our blessings!

Posted by: Donna V. (sans ampersands) at July 29, 2015 03:58 PM (u0lmX)

305

Won't someone think of the children!

And deport all these criminal motherfuckers.

Posted by: imp at July 29, 2015 03:58 PM (XIXZz)

306 >>> Come to think of it, we could have cool mandibles like ants to wield tools.

You'll rivet your eye out, kid

Posted by: Bigby's Poking Finger at July 29, 2015 03:59 PM (3ZtZW)

307 When I first heard this story on the radio news yesterday or the day before they said he "had been here since 2009."

Translation: BOOSH'S FAULT!

Posted by: HR braucht ein Bier at July 29, 2015 03:59 PM (/kI1Q)

308 I nominate John Kerry to negotiate the terms of our surrender.

Posted by: Cicero (@cicero) at July 29, 2015 03:59 PM (8ZskC)

309 Posted by: Homeomorphism

That's hot.

Posted by: Ricky Martin at July 29, 2015 04:00 PM (7WXUO)

310
Yeah don't worry about any invasion. Here's why.
Recall the story of how the Europeans (I forget which ones) bought manhattan island for some blankets beads and a mirror? No gunshots needed right?
Any Space faring polity would be able to "buy" from us whatever they wanted by exchanging trinkets. The cost of invasion fleet isridiculously high. Just grab some junk "toys" out of the basement to trade to the rube humans.
Space invasion fiction is fun, but it is fantasy. The distortion of economic power from higher technology is so greatspace aliens with high techwon't have to fire a shot or say even say"boo" to get what they want. We will throw willinglywhatever we have to get even the tiniest bit of advanced tech since the ability to exploit that tech in our own market would yield a ginormous economic benefit.

Posted by: simplemind at July 29, 2015 04:00 PM (5vV+V)

311 Exactly. How could any tech civilization exist without "Hands"?

Posted by: eleven at July 29, 2015 03:56 PM (jAuNn)

Phthink outhide the box.

Posted by: Tongue Using Alien at July 29, 2015 04:01 PM (3edTg)

312 I thought probabilities at the quantum level were known, just not locations of where and which quanta would show up.

Posted by: John Lord McCain at July 29, 2015 03:56 PM (wfznB)

Probability distributions are hypoithesized but given enough time even the near infinitesimal probabilities of certain configurations will occur - again and again and again.

In the quantum universe, there is no "movement". There is no physical continuity of any sort, only states of quantum systems that appear to an observer, and these possible states include things appearing out of nowhere, gravity seeming to disappear, all manner of "miracles". We just don't see these in our lifetimes because the probabilities are too low, but given the time we would see them - all of them and infinite number of times. There are no 100% physical predictions that can be made in quantum theory because there are no "laws of Physics. This is what Einstein hated about the theory. Einstein believed in a rational universe.

Posted by: ThePrimordialOrderedPair at July 29, 2015 04:01 PM (MYSVz)

313 Yeah don't worry about any invasion. Here's why.
Recall the story of how the Europeans (I forget which ones) bought manhattan island for some blankets beads and a mirror? No gunshots needed right?
Any Space faring polity would be able to "buy" from us whatever they wanted by exchanging trinkets. The cost of invasion fleet isridiculously high. Just grab some junk "toys" out of the basement to trade to the rube humans.
Space invasion fiction is fun, but it is fantasy. The distortion of economic power from higher technology is so greatspace aliens with high techwon't have to fire a shot or say even say"boo" to get what they want. We will throw willinglywhatever we have to get even the tiniest bit of advanced tech since the ability to exploit that tech in our own market would yield a ginormous economic benefit.

Posted by: simplemind at July 29, 2015 04:00 PM (5vV+V)

We can ask them to build us another pyramid.

Posted by: George Tsoukalos at July 29, 2015 04:01 PM (7WXUO)

314 Mark Meadows is a rock star.

Posted by: Golfman at July 29, 2015 04:02 PM (48QDY)

315 Any Space faring polity would be able to "buy" from us whatever they wanted by exchanging trinkets.

Imagine a Magic 8 Ball that really works.

Posted by: Cicero (@cicero) at July 29, 2015 04:02 PM (8ZskC)

316 In "V", the aliens were so nice...and helpful.

Posted by: Colin at July 29, 2015 04:02 PM (pU8wz)

317 We can't find the dark matter because the aliens have it all behind a cloaking shield.

Posted by: Buzzion at July 29, 2015 04:03 PM (z/Ubi)

318 Heh, Belicheat is in full-on surly mode.

Posted by: logprof at July 29, 2015 04:03 PM (7WXUO)

319 It just occurred to me that Bruce Jenner may become an example of homeomorphism.

Posted by: Homeomorphism at July 29, 2015 04:03 PM (9mTYi)

320
Twice? With infinite time and space, twice is nothing. This is where I divorce myself from the mathematical "infinity" and use the, for lack of a better word, vulgar, understanding of "infinity". If time and space last forever, then won't everything happen sooner or later, an infinite number of times?

Posted by: Lincolntf at July 29, 2015 03:50 PM (2cS/G)

I was told that there would be no math on this blog.

Posted by: IllTemperedCur at July 29, 2015 04:03 PM (BcfrM)

321 The Mi-go from Yoggoth are going to take over the planet anyways, so what's the point?

Posted by: Insomniac at July 29, 2015 04:03 PM (mx5oN)

322
I should have known better than trying to teach hobo killing morons about the finite nature of the universe with no walls by using doughnuts as an example.
...................................
We learned that doughnuts are a universal favorite.

Posted by: wth at July 29, 2015 04:03 PM (wAQA5)

323 "Imagine a Magic 8 Ball that really works."

I would trade Mecca for one of those.

Posted by: Village Idiot's Apprentice at July 29, 2015 04:04 PM (VPLuQ)

324 298--Come to think of it, we could have cool mandibles like ants to wield tools.
Posted by: logprof at July 29, 2015 03:56 PM (7WXUO)
-------------
Now we're talking.
And considering that the universe is a giant donut,....it all makes sense.

Posted by: Margarita DeVille at July 29, 2015 04:04 PM (cN9Sk)

325 We can ask them to build us another pyramid.

What planet needs more than three fucking pyramids?

Posted by: Cicero (@cicero) at July 29, 2015 04:04 PM (8ZskC)

326 Well that was quick. From the sidebar, first Alien areolas found.

Posted by: Neil DeGrasse Tyson at July 29, 2015 04:04 PM (Vf5rR)

327
Hey how about nice little fun story about amateur astronauts plummeting their to their deaths?

Posted by: Soothsayer II, twelve-time Top Commenter at July 29, 2015 04:04 PM (ZbU4g)

328 >>> Space invasion fiction is fun, but it is fantasy

I think the scenario you postulate is equally entertaining, TBH.

Posted by: Bigby's Poking Finger at July 29, 2015 04:05 PM (3ZtZW)

329 What planet needs more than three fucking pyramids?
Posted by: Cicero (@cicero) at July 29, 2015 04:04 PM (8ZskC)
**********
There can never be TOO MANY Fucking Pyramids.

Posted by: Pyramid Fucker at July 29, 2015 04:05 PM (fLKzW)

330 We can't find the dark matter because the aliens have it all behind a cloaking shield.
Posted by: Buzzion
----------------------

They also have the missing terrestrial heat, the bodies of the victims of second-hand smoke, and Jimmy Hoffa. Possibly Amelia Earhart.

Posted by: Homeomorphism at July 29, 2015 04:05 PM (9mTYi)

331 Off with shape-shifter sock.

Posted by: Mike Hammer, etc., etc. at July 29, 2015 04:06 PM (9mTYi)

332 "Well that was quick. From the sidebar, first Alien areolas found. "

It won't be long till we find one with three boobehs.

Posted by: Village Idiot's Apprentice at July 29, 2015 04:06 PM (VPLuQ)

333 315 Any Space faring polity would be able to "buy" from us whatever they wanted by exchanging trinkets.

Imagine a Magic 8 Ball that really works.
Posted by: Cicero (@cicero) at July 29, 2015 04:02 PM (8ZskC)

If they haven't cut the purity down too much, it should work just fine...oh, wait, different 8 ball.

Posted by: Insomniac at July 29, 2015 04:06 PM (mx5oN)

334
326 Well that was quick. From the sidebar, first Alien areolas found.
Posted by: Neil DeGrasse Tyson at July 29, 2015 04:04 PM (Vf5rR)

Rule 34

Posted by: Buzzion at July 29, 2015 04:07 PM (z/Ubi)

335 What planet needs more than three fucking pyramids?
Posted by: Cicero (@cicero) at July 29, 2015 04:04 PM (8ZskC)

You forgot the Mayan pyramids. Aliens built those too.

Posted by: Giorgio Tsoukalos at July 29, 2015 04:07 PM (7WXUO)

336 What a waste...

If I had $100 million to blow, I'd develop molten salt thorium reactors. Or devise a way to communicate effectively with the functionally insane, aka, the left.

Posted by: Smashmaster at July 29, 2015 04:07 PM (NjCPp)

337 We're being invaded! From space! By invaders! From space!

Posted by: Insomniac at July 29, 2015 04:07 PM (mx5oN)

338 What if the signal they discover is an alien porn site?

Posted by: wrg500 at July 29, 2015 04:07 PM (FEAjO)

339 What if the aliens are completely annoying jerks?

-
You mean like people from Jersey?

Posted by: The Great White Snark at July 29, 2015 04:07 PM (XUKZU)

340 You forgot the Mayan pyramids. Aliens built those too.

And the one at the Louvre.

Posted by: HR braucht ein Bier at July 29, 2015 04:07 PM (/kI1Q)

341 And considering that the universe is a giant donut,....it all makes sense.
Posted by: Margarita
---------------

THE UNIVERSE IS A GIANT DONUT?

Posted by: Al Sharpton at July 29, 2015 04:07 PM (9mTYi)

342 339 What if the aliens are completely annoying jerks?

-
You mean like people from Jersey?
Posted by: The Great White Snark at July 29, 2015 04:07 PM (XUKZU)

Intergalactic Guidos? The horror...

Posted by: Insomniac at July 29, 2015 04:08 PM (mx5oN)

343 So we meet the super smart Aliens.

And Al Gore starts explaining Global Warming to them.

Posted by: Village Idiot's Apprentice at July 29, 2015 04:08 PM (VPLuQ)

344 You forgot the Mayan pyramids. Aliens built those too.

And the one at the Louvre.
Posted by: HR braucht ein Bier at July 29, 2015 04:07 PM (/kI1Q)
********
AND Las Vegas

Posted by: Truck Monkey is a Mime..... Serious at July 29, 2015 04:08 PM (fLKzW)

345 I heard on the galactic grapevine that aliens were all set to come and hook Steven Hawking up with a new body, - until he insulted them with his hand-wringing paranoia.

Posted by: Fritz at July 29, 2015 04:08 PM (UzPAd)

346 looking to conquer and colonize whatever planets they could reach"

It's reasonable to assume to cost of conquest would be more than the savings of planetary vs. space living. It's not reasonable to assume they wont want to eat your face anyways because - reasons.

Posted by: DaveA at July 29, 2015 04:08 PM (DL2i+)

347
Isnt that idiotic, though? And presumptious, to say the least, for Hawking to assume other intelligent life is anything like humans?

Does Hawking know something we don't? He has no idea whatsoever what aliens, if they exist, would be like. It is the most unfathomable thng, aside from God, I can think of.

Posted by: Soothsayer II, twelve-time Top Commenter at July 29, 2015 04:09 PM (ZbU4g)

348 Pikers, hide in on of her bra's. Plenty of room and when she see you as she is putting it on. Well, let me just say OH MY!!
Posted by: face size spider in AtC's closet at July 29, 2015 03:33 PM (FEAjO)

One of the managers (male) at an old office had a voice mail from one of his employees (female). This voice mail went into extended detail about how this lady had a GIANT SPIDER BITE on her boob, and thus could not come to work today!

It was hilarious. He played it for us.

Posted by: Lea at July 29, 2015 04:09 PM (lIU4e)

349 "Heh, Milner paid 100M for a CA property assessed at 50M."

Some high dollar real estate transactions are essentially in-kind payments for undisclosed private deals elsewhere.

Posted by: torquewrench at July 29, 2015 04:09 PM (noWW6)

350 AND Las Vegas

Pretty sure aliens didn't have anything to do with that one, except possibly running the casino.

Posted by: Cicero (@cicero) at July 29, 2015 04:09 PM (8ZskC)

351 336: "If I had $100 million to blow, I'd develop molten salt thorium reactors. Or devise a way to communicate effectively with the functionally insane, aka, the left."

Nah. Hookers and blow.

Posted by: Azenogoth (Freedom or Fire) at July 29, 2015 04:10 PM (UPYPp)

352 Why do we care? Don't we have enough problems we can't solve without looking for more?

And BTW, Jack Black is a Jack Hole.

Posted by: Bitter Clinger and All That at July 29, 2015 04:10 PM (x3GpS)

353 What if the aliens are completely annoying jerks?

-
You mean like people from Jersey?
Posted by: The Great White Snark
--------------

I was thinking France, courtesy of HR.

Posted by: Mike Hammer, etc., etc. at July 29, 2015 04:10 PM (9mTYi)

354
Well that was quick. From the sidebar, first Alien areolas found.

Found? Like no one ever wore out a VHS tape of Fifth Element when Milla Jovovich reconstituted?

Posted by: Bandersnatch at July 29, 2015 04:11 PM (JtwS4)

355 350 AND Las Vegas

Pretty sure aliens didn't have anything to do with that one, except possibly running the casino.
Posted by: Cicero (@cicero) at July 29, 2015 04:09 PM (8ZskC)

The all you can eat buffets are an alien plot to fatten up the populace before the culling and slaughter.

Posted by: Insomniac at July 29, 2015 04:11 PM (mx5oN)

356 What if the aliens are completely annoying jerks?

Aliens will be lawyers?

Posted by: wrg500 at July 29, 2015 04:11 PM (FEAjO)

357 Aliens cut my lawn, weekly.

Posted by: Roy at July 29, 2015 04:12 PM (VndSC)

358
The project will undertake to scan the million stars closest to us.
...............................
Idiot. Stars are too f--king hot to support life.

Posted by: Neil DeAss Tyson at July 29, 2015 04:12 PM (wAQA5)

359
Imagine a reactionless drive that looks like a copper steam kettle.
The problem is if they exist wereally don't have anything they want. Seriously why would they bother coming here? For what our culture? <Snort> Raw materials? They fly through outerspace and their are more raw materials in the asteroid belt that are not stuck inthe gravity well of earth? What else? Chicks? Seriously man have you seen the modern woman these days? Not crossing light years for that.
The best science fiction I read on this was JohnRingo's series where he imagined the aliens got high on maple syrup and it couldn't be found anywhere else in the galaxy. The guy who realized it first cornered the maple syrup market and booby trapped it so the aliens couldn't just steal it. They had to trade tech for it. Guy got rich. Best thing he's written that I've read but he stopped after 3 books.

Posted by: simplemind at July 29, 2015 04:12 PM (5vV+V)

360 Some high dollar real estate transactions are essentially in-kind payments for undisclosed private deals elsewhere.

Posted by: torquewrench
-----------------

I've never heard of Tony Rezko. He was just some guy in the neighborhood.

Posted by: Barky, Barky, pants on fire at July 29, 2015 04:12 PM (9mTYi)

361 "Idiot. Stars are too f--king hot to support life."

We'll look at night.
When it's cooler.

Posted by: Village Idiot's Apprentice at July 29, 2015 04:12 PM (VPLuQ)

362 The all you can eat buffets are an alien plot to fatten up the populace before the culling and slaughter.

Look at this cool serpentine pathway!

Posted by: Vegas tourist at July 29, 2015 04:13 PM (ZtFr+)

363 F#ck. Those. Pointy. Eared. Freaks.

Posted by: stephen hawking at July 29, 2015 04:13 PM (kivUY)

364 Are we really sure that Commerce will drive aliens? I picture more of a native need, for food or shelter or reproduction, driving a race of space-traveling beasties to find our little blue marble. You don't need tools to build a spaceship if you're a space locust, that's what Grandpaw always said.

Posted by: Lincolntf at July 29, 2015 04:13 PM (2cS/G)

365 re: "plankton" on space stations

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Green_Slime

Posted by: Doomed at July 29, 2015 04:13 PM (bGLSw)

366 354
Well that was quick. From the sidebar, first Alien areolas found.

Found? Like no one ever wore out a VHS tape of Fifth Element when Milla Jovovich reconstituted?
Posted by: Bandersnatch at July 29, 2015 04:11 PM (JtwS4)

Available on Netflix you know.

Posted by: Buzzion at July 29, 2015 04:13 PM (z/Ubi)

367 Re: the donut thing: Just because you get back to where you were doesn't mean the donut is infinite. Precisely the opposite, in fact. Only in finite things could you proceed in a single direction and return to where you started.

Posted by: AllenG (DedicatedTenther) - Not dead yet at July 29, 2015 04:14 PM (kff5f)

368
"Imagine a Magic 8 Ball that really works."

I would trade Mecca for one of those.

Posted by: Village Idiot's Apprentice at July 29, 2015 04:04 PM (VPLuQ)

I'd trade Mecca for a Diet Coke and a handful of pocket lint. But that's me, I drive a hard bargain.

Posted by: IllTemperedCur at July 29, 2015 04:14 PM (BcfrM)

369 Are my comments disappearing or are the mushrooms kicking in?

Posted by: Dr Spank at July 29, 2015 04:14 PM (YW47b)

370 Also: I, too, now want a donut.

Posted by: AllenG (DedicatedTenther) - Not dead yet at July 29, 2015 04:14 PM (kff5f)

371 The all you can eat buffets are an alien plot to fatten up the populace before the culling and slaughter.
Posted by: Insomniac
------------------

They are going to pissed at PP for messing with the seed stock.

Posted by: Mike Hammer, etc., etc. at July 29, 2015 04:14 PM (9mTYi)

372
Did you hear this?

obama's HHS predicted that health care premiums will increase 6% annually over the next 10 years.

See? obamacare works even better than obama expected!

Posted by: Soothsayer II, twelve-time Top Commenter at July 29, 2015 04:15 PM (ZbU4g)

373 Are my comments disappearing or are the mushrooms kicking in?

Posted by: Dr Spank at July 29, 2015 04:14 PM (YW47b)

*hiding mushrooms*

They're totally disappearing.

Posted by: AllenG (DedicatedTenther) - Not dead yet at July 29, 2015 04:15 PM (kff5f)

374 As long as the aliens aren't like the ones in "Attack the Block" - or if they are, then they need to land in Detroit.

Posted by: Lizzy at July 29, 2015 04:15 PM (NOIQH)

375 Also: I, too, now want a donut.
Posted by: AllenG
-----------------

*hands AG a mug*

Posted by: Homeomorphism at July 29, 2015 04:16 PM (9mTYi)

376 CNN: Headline: Digging up story about Trump calling lawyer who wanted to pump breast milk in middle of deposition disgusting, it happened in 2011. Lets go back and see what else we can dig up in the past that is disgusting.

Posted by: Colin at July 29, 2015 04:17 PM (pU8wz)

377 >>obama's HHS predicted that health care premiums will increase 6% annually over the next 10 years.

Sure, why not? They were just making up this sh#t as they went along, and I bet they poll-tested that amount and found it to be the most acceptable %.

Posted by: Lizzy at July 29, 2015 04:17 PM (NOIQH)

378 Are we really sure that Commerce will drive aliens? I picture more of a native need, for food or shelter or reproduction,

Mining precious metals.

Posted by: rickb223 at July 29, 2015 04:17 PM (TW49l)

379 obama's HHS predicted that health care premiums will increase 6% annually over the next 10 years.

"Exceeded Expectations"

Posted by: Self Evaluation at July 29, 2015 04:17 PM (3edTg)

380 Are Apple Fritters donuts or cakes? I would kill for one now.

Posted by: wrg500 at July 29, 2015 04:17 PM (FEAjO)

381 A radiation wave hit and I got shot through a wormhole. Now I'm lost in some distant part of the universe on a ship, a living ship, full of strange alien life forms. Help me. Listen, please. Is anybody out there who can hear me? I'm being hunted ... by an insane military commander.

Posted by: John Crichton at July 29, 2015 04:17 PM (VAsIq)

382 Barky and the head alien could have a game of ono-on-one for control of the solar sytstem. Or horse. Or pig. Or maybe we should wait to see how tall they are.

Posted by: bergerbilder at July 29, 2015 04:17 PM (+jijM)

383 the donut thing: Just because you get back to where you were doesn't mean the donut is infinite. Precisely the opposite, in fact. Only in finite things could you proceed in a single direction and return to where you started.
Posted by: AllenG
---------------

No matter where you go....

Posted by: Buckaroo Banzai at July 29, 2015 04:18 PM (9mTYi)

384
I shit you not, I pay $20K a year for Health, which I do not use.

6% for me is another $1200.

Posted by: Soothsayer II, twelve-time Top Commenter at July 29, 2015 04:18 PM (ZbU4g)

385 So it's just my ROBOTS comment that keeps disappearing? That's....disconcerting.

Posted by: Dr Spank at July 29, 2015 04:18 PM (YW47b)

386 I thought his Time Traveler Party was pretty cool.

Pardon the HuffPuff link http://is.gd/VcJNQw

Posted by: Grump928(c) at July 29, 2015 04:18 PM (evdj2)

387 That's a big doughnut.

Posted by: Winston

Just saw the bit in GBII where they echo, Hello, Hello - Hello, Winston!

That bit wouldn't have been as funny with a white actor. And the callback screaming would've made no sense.

Posted by: DaveA at July 29, 2015 04:18 PM (DL2i+)

388 Posted by: John Crichton at July 29, 2015 04:17 PM (VAsIq)

Sorry, have to make the donuts.

Posted by: wrg500 at July 29, 2015 04:18 PM (FEAjO)

389
I heard on the galactic grapevine that aliens were all set to come and hook Steven Hawking up with a new body, - until he insulted them with his hand-wringing paranoia.

Posted by: Fritz at July 29, 2015 04:08 PM (UzPAd)

Worse. They saw he was wearing flip flops.

Posted by: IllTemperedCur at July 29, 2015 04:18 PM (BcfrM)

390 Nood Alien post.

Posted by: AllenG (DedicatedTenther) - Not dead yet at July 29, 2015 04:18 PM (kff5f)

391 Barky and the head alien could have a game of ono-on-one for control of the solar sytstem. Or horse. Or pig. Or maybe we should wait to see how tall they are.

Posted by: bergerbilder at July 29, 2015 04:17 PM (+jijM)

Wouldn't matter. Barky went 1 for 23 when he was trying to show off his jump shots for kids at the White House.

Posted by: ThePrimordialOrderedPair at July 29, 2015 04:20 PM (MYSVz)

392 you don't look for radio signals, you have to find planets that are warmer than they are supposed to be, preferably with fricking lights all over the place, do IO have to teach Hawking everything?

Posted by: AC at July 29, 2015 04:20 PM (TzeLs)

393 It's probably the best not to let any aliens know we are here, but leftists think they are all friendly are would.love to help us humans but chances are they are very dangerous and
would use us as food or enslave us.

Posted by: Skip aka Eagles fan at July 29, 2015 04:21 PM (CFAPf)

394
you don't look for radio signals, you have to find planets that are warmer than they are supposed to be, preferably with fricking lights all over the place, do IO have to teach Hawking everything?
Posted by: AC at July 29, 2015 04:20 PM (TzeLs)
....................
Also, look for all the reflective space junk circling the planet.

Posted by: wth at July 29, 2015 04:24 PM (wAQA5)

395 James Carville!

Fap

Fap

Fap

Fap

Fap

Fap

Posted by: Fapping Alien at July 29, 2015 04:25 PM (7WXUO)

396
Hawking knows there's no chance of an invasion. He just says stuff like this to get attention.
Aliens would not bother coming here because, no reason. If there were something here they wanted they could give us the equivalent of a child's toy (to them) and it would be worth more than all the money in circulation in the US right now.
If they gave us the formula for a conductor that did not heat up. We could use it in place of power lines and lose no power to heat in transmitting power from one side of the earth to the other. Problem is the wire would be worth more than diamonds and people would steal it from the poles even at the risk of death. So trade is tricky but its way more efficient than a battle cruiser at a sufficient tech imbalance. If the aliens are close to us in tech they need to use military power, but then if they are close to us in tech they can't get here.

Posted by: simplemind at July 29, 2015 04:33 PM (5vV+V)

397 "367 Re: the donut thing: Just because you get back to where you were doesn't mean the donut is infinite. Precisely the opposite, in fact. Only in finite things could you proceed in a single direction and return to where you started.
Posted by: AllenG (DedicatedTenther) - Not dead yet at July 29, 2015 04:14 PM (kff5f)"

-------------------------------------------------------------------

That was my point when some asked about the edge of the universe and someone else brought up an infinite universe. It can be finite without a detectable end.

Posted by: NotCoach at July 29, 2015 04:35 PM (jU7Af)

398 "How to Cook for Forty Humans"

Posted by: bergerbilder at July 29, 2015 04:37 PM (+jijM)

399 This far down in the thread this has likely been mentioned twice .
extraterrestrial aliens manual after contact with Earthlings: "To Serve Humanity".

"It"s a cookbook!"

Posted by: King Herod at July 29, 2015 04:41 PM (B1b6B)

400 encounters between civilizations with advanced versus primitive technologies have gone badly for the less advanced," he told reporters at the Breakthrough announcement.

A common leftist/colonialist trope but not really true. Large numbers of the primitive were killed by new diseases and their elites often suffered badly, but the median member of a primitive civilization who survived disease benefited immensely from contact with more advanced societies in the long run (obviously few if any of them would have achieved their current living standards).

Genocide, rape, and theft were how nearly everyone lived in all of human history up to the Age of Exploration. Europeans generally didn't make these problems worse so much as they failed to improve them much, at least initially.

Posted by: TallDave at July 29, 2015 04:49 PM (74ZYB)

401 The novel "The Killing Star" dealt with this well, in a depressing kind of way. In the first couple of pages, the forst 3 minutes of the novel, 99.999% of humanity was exterminated by near-light-speed missles.

It's the ultimate extension of the Precautionary Principle - if a species could possibly, ever, present a danger to your own, and you can eliminate it with a minimal expenditure of energy, you should do so.

Not saying that I subscribe to that philosophy, but some (say, a machine intelligence) might.

Posted by: West at July 29, 2015 04:52 PM (1Rgee)

402 a.k.a. "It's a cookbook",

Between Hollywood's love for scare mongering and liberal bias for the likes of PETA, I'm surprised Hawking's concern hasn't made its way into a summer block buster movie.

Posted by: Levin at July 29, 2015 05:08 PM (RA9sm)

403
It's been many years since my two semesters of astronomy.
But one of the profound impressions it left on me was that the simple logistics of space travel (primarily that of distance) means that humanity will never reach another solar system and therefore will never live on another life-giving planet.

Moreover, it is highly unlikely that a billion years from now there will be any humans alive on Earth. There will simply be far too many catastrophic global and solar changes during that time. (And that's not counting the plausibility of massive asteroids or other objects striking our planet.)
That doesn't mean there won't be any life whatsoever on Earth a billion years from now - though that could turn out to be true too.
But it's HIGHLY doubtful there will be any human life on Earth then.

So: What makes us think that some other intelligent life form many light years away could develop the technology to travel to us?
Sci-Fi fantasies aside (which I enjoy), there is nothing in science that provides any credible reason to believe an E.T. visit is plausible.
Yes, it is _logically possible_ that another intelligent life form could develop the UBER-Transcendent Technology to leave their solar system and sustain themselves to visit other living planets.
But it is far more plausible that the human species will still be around and thriving on planet Earth a billion years from now. - And that simply will not be the case.

So if Steven "I needed the money" Hawking teams up with Ursula K. Le Guin, and they do manage to build the Ansible: it won't matter if they maintain total Ansible-silence or shout fuck you.
E.T. won't be able to do a thing about it.

Posted by: _Dave_ at July 29, 2015 05:22 PM (l2dSQ)

404 You laugh.

Your time will come.

Posted by: The Bacteria at July 29, 2015 06:14 PM (Fh+WR)

405 Fermi and Hart laugh at their waste of money.

The math says there's no one out there that we can find.

It has become an article of religious faith for the leftists that we can't be the apex of intelligence in the universe.

The silence of the universe mocks their hubris.

Posted by: Dave in Fla at July 29, 2015 06:52 PM (sH0gC)

406 Oh, so Hawkins entertains the idea that Aliens just might have presuppositions about aborting all or most of humanity? Kind of like a intergalactic PP? Maybe our organ parts would be worth more to them than they are to us?

Posted by: Denise at July 29, 2015 07:40 PM (v2/TY)

407 Isn't Hawkings dead yet? Geez!

Posted by: Doom at July 29, 2015 09:41 PM (7RdIv)

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