King Dave! [Weirddave]

I don't have any fundamental concepts today, but I do have some thoughts from a conversation I had earlier this week. We were talking about the upcoming election and issues and candidates and blah, blah, blah when my friend asked me “What would you do?”. I started to answer and he clarified. “No. What would you do? If you had complete and utter control of the country? If you were made King Dave?”.

Now that's an interesting thought.

Channeling my inner Tom Freidman, this is what I came up with:

Look, there's nothing wrong with this country that I couldn't fix pretty easily if I was made dictator of the US. I'd be the strangest damn dictator in human history, ruthlessly devolving the power of the state and then abdicating, but I'd leave behind a country richer and stronger than any ever imagined by the mind of men.

Wanna fix the economy? Gut the regulatory state. Abolish every agency not authorized by the Constitution and take all of their regs off the books. Remove from Congress the power to delegate. EVERY rule/law/regulation must be voted upon, individually, by Congress. No omnibus bills. Flatten the tax code. Personal and corporate rate of 15%, no deductions, no exemptions. All government agencies are now run on zero based budgeting. Everyone starts from zero every year and has to justify what they get. No automatic increases, no inflation assumptions, no cost plus. GAAP is now the law for the government of the US. No more accounting tricks. Public sector unions are abolished. That ought to turn the economy up to "boil". I'd expect double digit growth, year after year. That coupled with increased revenues from the flat tax ought to have the debt paid off within a decade.

Welfare? Privatized within five years.

SSDI? Well, for the SS part, unchanged for those 55 and older, for those younger than 55 a combination of a gradually increasing retirement age and privatized retirement accounts ought to eliminate that unfunded liability entirely.

Move the DI part to private insurance companies and watch fraud drop by 80%.

The US Government owns upwards of 90% of some states. Except for national parks, I return all of that land to the states. That gives them an asset to manage so that they can fund any state level expenditures they may desire (Example: I eliminated the EPA, in part because every state has their own state EPA. W/O the Federal EPA, some states are going to want to expand the scope of their EPAs to compensate. This allows them to fund that)

My immigration policy will be that I want the US to cherry pick the best and brightest from around the world. Those folks get expedited immigration status. If someone is here illegally, they get a one way ticket home, no questions asked. All illegals in prison get the same. Secure the border? “Oh, you can't build a fence, it won't work,” Bullshit. While there may have to be slight variations for geography in isolated spots, I'd build a 10 foot electrified chain link fence with razor wire on top, put another one 25 yards behind it, patrol the area in between with trained attack dogs and put a tower every ½ mile armed with machine guns. Try bringing your 11 foot ladder to that fence Rick Perry. Birthright citizenship would be a thing of the past (It shouldn't be a thing of the present, we only have it due to a deliberate misreading of the 14th Amendment by Justice Brennan in 1982 in Plyler v. Doe ).

And then on the second day.......

There's lots more, but I'm fairly confident I could clean house and go back to my plow pretty quickly. Most of this is just a matter of getting serious and just doing what needs to be done. What would you do if you were king?

Open Thread

Posted by: Open Blogger at 10:45 AM

Comments

(Jump to bottom of comments)

1 First?

Posted by: Daisy Cutter at July 25, 2015 10:51 AM (myGBe)

2 I'll settle for duke. Looks like King Dave has it handled.

Posted by: fluffy at July 25, 2015 10:52 AM (2iV3X)

3 I'd particularly enjoy the gutting of the IRS...you know, with crowds out front applauding and sneering as the former authoritarians shuffle off to their bus stops.

Posted by: Daisy Cutter at July 25, 2015 10:53 AM (myGBe)

4 I would actually empower the 2nd Amendment, expanding the CMP to be a standard educational feature, 'round about the 8th grade or so.

Then the kidlets would get an issued CMP rifle and ammo, along with their High School Diploma.

Honor Students and High Score marksmen, would of course get National Match variants of the issue rifle.

Oh, and I'd try to work up some method by which to hold the media accountable to some modicum of truth. Don't ask me exactly how right at the moment, but the seed of an idea is there. Might involve vats of boiling tar, I just haven't decided yet.

Jim
Sunk New Dawn
Galveston, TX

Posted by: Jim at July 25, 2015 10:54 AM (RzZOc)

5 Got to say, though, I do like national forests.

Posted by: fluffy at July 25, 2015 10:55 AM (2iV3X)

6 Term limits for Congress. 20 years max House/Senate. If you hit 20 before your Senate term is over, too bad.

Posted by: robschr at July 25, 2015 10:55 AM (Y8Hvr)

7 One thing I would add, make enacting a law 2/3 majority and repealing a law with a simple majority.

Posted by: Armed and Larry at July 25, 2015 10:59 AM (rTqn/)

8 Term limits too, on the Fed Bureaucracies.

Even if you make a career of being a Government Drone, you will NOT work in a single agency or branch for more than six years, before being shuffled off to a new assignment.

And repeal the Civil Service protection law, along with all the .gov unions.

Get 'em back to knowing that working in/for the government is a place of trust, lent by the populace. It is not a birthright.

Jim
Sunk New Dawn
Galveston, TX

Posted by: Jim at July 25, 2015 11:00 AM (RzZOc)

9 I'd gladly serve as Baron in a regime of King Dave.

Posted by: logprof at July 25, 2015 11:00 AM (UJvRO)

10 By acclamation all hail King Dave!!

Sir King. The jester has a minor suggestion. The illegals for payment of their breaking our laws shall serve 6 months at building that fence. Duke Arapaho can oversee the project.

Posted by: DrDog at July 25, 2015 11:01 AM (RHBWt)

11 Pro tip: Eliminate the following:
EPA
IRS
DOL
DoE (education)
DoE (energy)
Anything with the words bureau, commission, agency, department (except DoD), federal, institute, national, office and U.S...

Want to get your blood pressure up? Go here:
ht tps://www.usa.gov/federal-agencies/a
(take out the space between the 't's)

Posted by: Daisy Cutter at July 25, 2015 11:01 AM (myGBe)

12 If he'll appoint me Minister of Poontangenuity (for a one-time, four-year term), I'll happily go for King Dave. I'll be 60 when I step down, and can look forward to a long, exciting semi-retirement for the rest of my days. Or semi-something, anyhow.

Seriously, can you imagine the power of an unleashed economy based on Constitutional principles? We'd have 19th-century growth and optimism with 21st-century technology. Count me in.

Posted by: Cowboyneal at July 25, 2015 11:01 AM (cA3on)

13 You have my vote.

I would do nearly the exact same thing.

Couple other things:
- Bring back prison work camps. No sitting around secretly making homemade knives. If you want to eat, you better work.
- Repeal Obamacare and bring in Health Savings Accounts and bring in high deductible health care plans. "Insurance" isn't taking your kid in because he has a cold. Insurance is "Holy Crap, what kind of disease did you get, Maude?"
- Fix the University systems. No more professor tenure. No more government funds to pay for living in luxury apartment like dormitories. Professors to be paid based on what they actually do. If the rest of us can put in a 40-hour week (maybe 50 or 60), then the professors can to.
- Eliminate Teacher and public sector retirement at 55. OK, Firemen and police officers - maybe. Not sure if I want a 65 year old guy trying to haul my ass out of a fire. For the desk jockeys in the public sector - you can work until 65 or 70 just like the rest of us.

Posted by: Ghost of John Brown at July 25, 2015 11:02 AM (Jy5Y7)

14 Use our superior military power to control our enemies and buttress our allies. Think Iran wants a bomb if Isreal could with the plush of a button turn the entire country into a parking lot? Nope...and tell them just that in no uncertain terms.

Tell all of the other countries in the ME that if they don't control things then we will - and take their oil to boot. If we're going to have the most powerful military the world has ever seen then we should use it for our own benefit.

Posted by: volfan at July 25, 2015 11:03 AM (QJUXH)

15 Make a list of things, such as highways and air travel, that are actually interstate commerce.

Said list will be the entirety of the definition of the term unless congress, by 2/3rds majority, adds to it.

I would not be opposed to come state involvement in the definition too, but don't want to turn ever single interstate commerce issue into an amendment.

Posted by: Nick in South Bend at July 25, 2015 11:03 AM (Umz0g)

16 All of the above, so far.

Posted by: sock_rat_eez at July 25, 2015 11:04 AM (go6ud)

17 "Sir King. The jester has a minor suggestion. "

Oh...fcuk that noise.

Good King Dave.
I have been Apprenticing lo these many years, and my time is here.

Might you find it in your heart to appoint me as no..not the Villages Idiot.

But, the Kingdom's Idiot.
You would find no-one more qualified.

Sire.

Posted by: Village Idiot's Apprentice at July 25, 2015 11:04 AM (VPLuQ)

18 Dave, sign me up.
Easy peazy
Love hanging out with you guys

Posted by: Wyoming Lurker at July 25, 2015 11:06 AM (a0m5R)

19 Tuition at universities to be charged according to actual fully-burdened cost for a given course. Let industry provide subvention, if they wish, for courses whose students are of interest to them (STEM, primarily). For everything else, students pay what it costs to produce the course: instructor salary and benefits, building construction and maintenance, the lot. Oh, and administrators' salaries and benefits too.

Posted by: Jay Guevara at July 25, 2015 11:07 AM (oKE6c)

20 Think of the riots! Tax accountants and lawyers would be in fcuking kill-mode, slashing and burning everything within their chicken-wing grasp.

Posted by: Fritz at July 25, 2015 11:07 AM (UzPAd)

21 >>> ght you find it in your heart to appoint me as no..not the Villages Idiot.
But, the Kingdom's Idiot.

Cronyism, straight up. Youse guys are from the same state.

Posted by: fluffy at July 25, 2015 11:08 AM (2iV3X)

22 You'd get my vote.

More, please. Perhaps a quick something on pot & wasted American money & increased money and power in the hands of horrible horrible foreign criminals and governments.

Posted by: i like anchors at July 25, 2015 11:08 AM (6E2VN)

23 Restrict the franchise to those who make a contribution to society, either in cash (paying taxes) or in kind (serving or having served in the military). Everyone else can go hang. If you don't have skin in the game, you don't get a say in how the game is played.

Posted by: Jay Guevara at July 25, 2015 11:09 AM (oKE6c)

24 Dave has a keyboard, and he has a smartphone. Even on that level, he has me beat.

Posted by: Barack Obama at July 25, 2015 11:10 AM (WhB4J)

25 Cronyism, straight up. Youse guys are from the same state.

It's worse than that. His wife and my wife are sitting together knitting, not 10 feet away from my throne, right this very second. It's almost nepotism.

Posted by: Weirddave at July 25, 2015 11:10 AM (WvS3w)

26 George Washington only had the original three departments (State, Treasury, and War) and he did fine.

Posted by: logprof at July 25, 2015 11:11 AM (UJvRO)

27 "Unless the Lord guards the city,
The watchman stays awake in vain."

take roe v. wade...tear it up...put whats left into a shredder...take the remnants of that...douse it with gasoline...set it on fire...spread the ashes over the graves of blackmun, burger, douglas, brennan, stewart, marshall,and powell and then trample the ashes into the ground and then piss on what ashes are still visible and then kick the graves over and then set the grave markers on fire and then sledgehammer the gravemarkers into bits

Posted by: sound awake at July 25, 2015 11:11 AM (cpGPz)

28 Any government official who takes the Fifth Amendment is immediately fired, and deprived of any accrued benefits (e.g., pension). Adios, pendejo!

The Fifth Amendment protects against prosecution, but when asked, testifying fully and honestly should be a condition for government employment.

Posted by: Jay Guevara at July 25, 2015 11:12 AM (oKE6c)

29 >>> His wife and my wife are sitting together knitting

I better go mow the lawn before I get DeFarged.

Posted by: fluffy at July 25, 2015 11:12 AM (2iV3X)

30 "First Thing I'd do if I Were Queen"
By Ruth Ruben

Hire WeirdDave as CEO.

The End

Posted by: Ruth at July 25, 2015 11:12 AM (oo88B)

31 Any mathemagicians care enough to venture a ballpark number on how many votes could be gotten out of a "promise" (platform commitment, at least) to decriminalize MJ at the federal level?

And how much $$$ that would mean to our keep at home economy while slashing federal police (dea, military) budgets and incarceration $$$?

Posted by: i like anchors at July 25, 2015 11:12 AM (6E2VN)

32 I'd have Paolo publicly castrated in the town square.

Posted by: Michael Sonmore at July 25, 2015 11:13 AM (WhB4J)

33 One of the founding elements of the social welfare state was the development by Otto von Bismark of the social welfare and pension and worker's insurance. Part of this was the pooling of liability for industrial injury claims. Prior to this development when a worker was injured he could sue the employer under the Prussian civil courts for injury and damages and what-not and was a major expense for manufacturers. This was one of the benefits the industrialists had in buying into this plan, and to start with it was quite attractive from an accounting perspective.

The pooling of this risk under the state meant both that the employers could predict the costs, the system could use the credit and funding of the Prussian state to back it so there would not be a need for any major investment in setting up funding to tie up capital, and the state would regulate compensation.

Of course, this also took the financial emphasis off of modernization and safety improvements for fairly dangerous industrial facilities, it took part of the emphasis off of the drive to modernize and took away some of the advantage smaller, newer firms had over the older behemoths, and of course, the state never likes to pay off because it takes tax monies away from important things.

Also, when you have a major industrial giant who supports the state and the economy and plans to be around for a good long time, versus some grimy worker who probably won't survive for that long after his accident any ways... well equality becomes predictable.

So, I support diminishing, reducing and getting rid of the SSDI all together, or at least getting it out of the hands of the feds. For these very reasons.

Posted by: Kindltot at July 25, 2015 11:13 AM (3pRHP)

34 Oh, and summarily execute anyone who says, "It's for the children!"

Posted by: Jay Guevara at July 25, 2015 11:13 AM (oKE6c)

35 If you take away tenure protection for professors and teachers, the college and school administrators ( most of whom are failed teachers / professors ) will have the unfettered power to hire and fire their friends, lackeys, relatives, and anyone who pays them off or has blackmail info on them.

Get rid of tenure ONLY if you put some sort of real limits on the power of 'educational bureaucrats', otherwise you'll take a Bad system and make it Much Worse.

In my thirty + years as a college professor, I experienced about half of administrators being Totally F*cked-Up / Damaged people, maybe a quarter were Okay, and the other quarter being Good, at least marginally reasonable people.

Play it as it lays, man........

Posted by: John Adams ( me, not my idiot son Quincy ) at July 25, 2015 11:14 AM (8CdUx)

36
All Federal judgeship's limited to ten years maximum with a mandatory up and out at age 65! No pension accrual, and all government pension benefits limited to 401 deposit without matching funds, or a minimum of 2-5% match with no bonus paid for exemplary service.

Posted by: Doctor Fish at July 25, 2015 11:15 AM (OiFtZ)

37 "...I'd be the strangest damn dictator in human history, ruthlessly devolving the power of the state and then abdicating, but I'd leave behind a country richer and stronger than any ever imagined by the mind of men..."

++++++

** Ahem **

Posted by: George Washington at July 25, 2015 11:15 AM (uSM1W)

38 Find a solid candidate to use a nuke on, so the world knows we will do it again. Get our teeth back.

Posted by: Nick in South Bend at July 25, 2015 11:15 AM (Umz0g)

39 Posted by: Kindltot at July 25, 2015 11:13 AM (3pRHP)

Fun fact: Bismarck set retirement age at 65 because few people lived that long (mean lifespan at that time was 45, so a retirement age of 65 then would be like 85 now).

Posted by: Jay Guevara at July 25, 2015 11:15 AM (oKE6c)

40 Death penalty for voter fraud. Not the death penalty we have now, a real one.

Posted by: Blueberry at July 25, 2015 11:15 AM (YxUH3)

41 Create a class system of citizen hood. Starship Troopers was typical B movie trash but the concept contained within regarding different levels of citizen hood based upon ones contribution to the nation was thought provoking. Like say only members of Citizen A group (veterans, landowners, etc.) get to vote on our representatives. Only those with a vested stake in the outcome of an election should be able to cast a vote toward that outcome. Lots of wrinkles in there but there are too many LIV's out there voting for people they know nothing about and whose policies and/or plans they don't understand.

Posted by: volfan at July 25, 2015 11:16 AM (QJUXH)

42 38 Find a solid candidate to use a nuke on, so the world knows we will do it again. Get our teeth back.
Posted by: Nick in South Bend at July 25, 2015 11:15 AM (Umz0g)

Put the names of all countries on slips of paper in a fishbowl, draw one out, and nuke it.

Just to show a) we mean business, and b) we don't care who we have to splatter; if we decide it's you, you're in deep shit.

Posted by: Jay Guevara at July 25, 2015 11:17 AM (oKE6c)

43 K.I.S.S.

King for a day I would:

1) Secure the borders and charge people, including U.S. citizens to cross back and forth, oh I'd say $100.00 one way. This would pay for the border security and discourage scofflaws.

2) Repeal the Income Tax. Institute a national sales tax at around 7.5% with 100% of congress needed to go higher.

3) Have a poor/stupid tax. If you earn less than $12,000.00 a year you are taxed $1,000.00 each January 1st because we all know you are full of shit and working off the books somewhere or selling drugs or selling ass or just a POS and your stupid.

4) Ban Joe Biden.

No go forth and prosper and know that it's good to be the King.

Posted by: King For A Day at July 25, 2015 11:17 AM (JG47A)

44 Have to do something about the VA, too. I suggest that anyone who has been on welfare for more than three years, their payments immediately stop and that money gets diverted to veterans.

Posted by: Blueberry at July 25, 2015 11:17 AM (YxUH3)

45 King Burt:

Day 1: Get rid of the designated hitter rule, instant replay, prison sentences for any ump who calls a strike below the knees, or more than an inch off the plate. No interleague play, four four team divisions in each league, playoffs consisting of the division winners ONLY. No wild cards, no play-in games, and of course needless to say, no "this time it counts" nonsense where the All-Star exhibition game decides home field advantage in the World Series.

Day 2: Tackle Washington and all its works. Should be easy, compared to Day 1.

Posted by: BurtTC at July 25, 2015 11:17 AM (Dj0WE)

46 What, we're coming up on 50 comments and no one has yet said we should shitcan our UN membership and kick the UN out of the NYC?

I don't even know you guys.

Posted by: Jay Guevara at July 25, 2015 11:18 AM (oKE6c)

47 It's for the grandchildren!

Posted by: Hillary! at July 25, 2015 11:19 AM (9JjQ2)

48 1) Send the UN to Tehran.

2) Nuke Tehran.

3) Cackle with knowing glee.

4) Oh so much profit.

Posted by: Nick in South Bend at July 25, 2015 11:19 AM (Umz0g)

49 Posted by: Nick in South Bend at July 25, 2015 11:19 AM (Umz0g)

Now THAT'S the Horde I know and love.

Posted by: Jay Guevara at July 25, 2015 11:20 AM (oKE6c)

50 ** Ahem **

Posted by: George Washington at July 25, 2015 11:15 AM (uSM1W)
As much as I admire GW, and I do, a lot, not least because of exactly what you're hinting at, he wasn't a dictator. He was, in fact, the anti-dictator because he turned it down when it was being discussed.

Posted by: Weirddave at July 25, 2015 11:20 AM (WvS3w)

51 If I were king, hanging politicians would be the new national pastime. Personally, I'd want to start with John Boehner, but that's just me.

Posted by: Cloyd Freud, Unemployed at July 25, 2015 11:21 AM (YFw5T)

52 My first announcement would be that as a Nation of Laws, we will now apply all laws to all citizens. If Joe Schmoe can't do it, Congressman Dunghead and President Wackamole can't do it either. No exceptions.

I wouldn't kill of all agencies instantly. I would give each one ten days to come up with a written report (no more than a page) justifying their existence. Then I would shut down the losers (which might be all but DoD).

Sadly, human nature being what it is, there will always be people who try to game the system for personal gain. We need laws to restrain them. Again, such laws apply to everyone, and enforcement would be swift and merciless.

Posted by: MrScribbler at July 25, 2015 11:21 AM (rCmeG)

53 >>>What, we're coming up on 50 comments and no one has yet said we should shitcan our UN membership and kick the UN out of the NYC?<<<

That's part of the coronation ceremony. Kill all of the delegates and burn it to the ground.

Posted by: Fritz at July 25, 2015 11:21 AM (UzPAd)

54 Day 1: Get rid of the designated hitter rule, instant replay,
prison sentences for any ump who calls a strike below the knees, or
more than an inch off the plate. No interleague play, four four team
divisions in each league, playoffs consisting of the division winners
ONLY. No wild cards, no play-in games, and of course needless to say,
no "this time it counts" nonsense where the All-Star exhibition game
decides home field advantage in the World Series.

Umps call strikes up to the letters - per the rule book - and eject any player wearing his hat at an angle, or any batter who messes with his gloves once he begins his at-bat.

Posted by: Jay Guevara at July 25, 2015 11:22 AM (oKE6c)

55 If you have 7+ kids and a prison record, then to qualify for public assistance you must be sterilized, and undergo drug testing.

You'd get no cash, but a special card that would preapprove all purchases. It would reject attempts to by liquor, lotto, HDTV, xboxes or filet mignon. You could easily survive without those things.

You want help? We're gonna attach some strings.

Posted by: Michael Sonmore at July 25, 2015 11:23 AM (WhB4J)

56
The Social Democrat GOP Congress loses NOTHING by losing the White House again and in fact , could gain.

#werenumbertwo!

Posted by: some random meathead at July 25, 2015 11:23 AM (cNtqS)

57 Posted by: Jay Guevara at July 25, 2015 11:18 AM

Well, yeah. That would be part of an announcement that drops all non-emergency foreign aid to zero.

Posted by: MrScribbler at July 25, 2015 11:24 AM (rCmeG)

58 Aggressively protect the rights of American citizens. First, prosecute government agents who have intentionally violated the rights of citizens starting with Lerner and ending with Holder (or Obama). Shred every law and regulation that violates our rights, starting with the EPA and ending with the IRS. On foreign policy, go after any regime that has targeted US citizens or soldiers. Make sure our friends know we are their friends and our enemies know how much they should want to be our friends.

Posted by: Ian Deal at July 25, 2015 11:24 AM (QgD01)

59 Send a box of condoms 12 inches in length to Putin and stamp the outside of the box "MEDIUM".

Posted by: volfan at July 25, 2015 11:24 AM (QJUXH)

60 53 >>>What, we're coming up on 50 comments and no one has yet said we should shitcan our UN membership and kick the UN out of the NYC?<<<
That's part of the coronation ceremony. Kill all of the delegates and burn it to the ground.
Posted by: Fritz at July 25, 2015 11:21 AM (UzPAd)

Form the Turtle Bay Redevelopment Agency to blow up the UN building - while the UN is in session, of course - and build a Taco Bell there, then dissolve the Turtle Bay Redevelopment Agency.

Posted by: Jay Guevara at July 25, 2015 11:24 AM (oKE6c)

61 Pass the "Do what you want, pay for it yourself" law.

It might help steer us toward Promoting General Welfare and away from Providing General Welfare. Some people just grow up real slow, I guess.

A firm list of what we can help people with. Food, shelter, and clothing. Limit the ability to acquire peripherals to that with ebt cards. Software/firmware could help.

Force anyone who voted a liberal ticket to adopt a stranger. Make them put THEIR money where THEIR mouths are. A stranger taking a shit on THEIR stairs and telling them what is on TV every night will make them think twice about their ideas about human kindness and throwing money at guilt tripping expert adult children.

Posted by: i like anchors at July 25, 2015 11:26 AM (6E2VN)

62 Well, yeah. That would be part of an announcement that drops all non-emergency foreign aid to zero.

Posted by: MrScribbler at July 25, 2015 11:24 AM (rCmeG)

And conditions helping ANY country, for ANY reason, on kissing our ass. If you want to spout anti-American rhetoric, you're on your own, no matter what disasters befall you.

Posted by: Jay Guevara at July 25, 2015 11:26 AM (oKE6c)

63 ...and build a Taco Bell there, then dissolve the Turtle Bay Redevelopment Agency.

Posted by: Jay Guevara at July 25, 2015 11:24 AM

In-N-Out Burger, if you please. The new Official National Food of my country!

Posted by: MrScribbler at July 25, 2015 11:26 AM (rCmeG)

64 I'd have Paolo publicly castrated in the town square.
Posted by: Michael Sonmore at July 25, 2015 11:13 AM (WhB4J)

No you won't. You might have yourself castrated publicly, but then again, you already are, really.

Posted by: BurtTC at July 25, 2015 11:26 AM (Dj0WE)

65 Could a King rule by following the Constitution?

And could a King go all Untouchables "Blood Bat" on the members of his Court who violate the Constitution?

Askin' for a friend

Posted by: Village Idiot's Apprentice at July 25, 2015 11:27 AM (VPLuQ)

66 Members of parole boards granting parole draw lots to see who gets the parolee as a live-in servant. Think he's rehabilitated? How sure are you? Let's see ...

Oh, and sleep tight ...

Posted by: Jay Guevara at July 25, 2015 11:28 AM (oKE6c)

67 Make all LEO's smoke a blunt before and after each shift - less ego and assholes - more YooHoo and Cheetos.

Posted by: volfan at July 25, 2015 11:28 AM (QJUXH)

68 That fucking flashing light on my microwave?

Yeah, death penalty for that.

Posted by: Cloyd Freud, Unemployed at July 25, 2015 11:28 AM (YFw5T)

69 Umps call strikes up to the letters - per the rule book - and eject any player wearing his hat at an angle, or any batter who messes with his gloves once he begins his at-bat.
Posted by: Jay Guevara at July 25, 2015 11:22 AM (oKE6c)

I would say Ryan Howard should have his salivary glands removed, so he can't spit on his gloves between pitches, but at this point in his career that's just piling on.

Posted by: BurtTC at July 25, 2015 11:28 AM (Dj0WE)

70 In-N-Out Burger, if you please. The new Official National Food of my country!

Posted by: MrScribbler at July 25, 2015 11:26 AM (rCmeG)

That works!

Posted by: Jay Guevara at July 25, 2015 11:28 AM (oKE6c)

71 >He clarified. "What would you do? If you had complete and >utter control of the country? If you were made King?"

*squirt*

Posted by: Anthony Weiner - clarify dis! at July 25, 2015 11:29 AM (/f6Nd)

72 I would say Ryan Howard should have his salivary
glands removed, so he can't spit on his gloves between pitches, but at
this point in his career that's just piling on.

Posted by: BurtTC at July 25, 2015 11:28 AM (Dj0WE)

It's about the only thing he hits now, isn't it?

Posted by: Jay Guevara at July 25, 2015 11:29 AM (oKE6c)

73 Prima Nocta.

But no fat chicks. They get a pass.

Posted by: King Garrett at July 25, 2015 11:29 AM (S0Ca+)

74 "Send a box of condoms 12 inches in length to Putin and stamp the outside of the box "MEDIUM".

Couldn't you just leave them the way they are, with the "Youth/Small" stamp still visible?

Posted by: Village Idiot's Apprentice at July 25, 2015 11:30 AM (VPLuQ)

75 No Bastard Left Behind is the law of the land. Every child deserves to know his or her biological father. The mother is required to name the father and a DNA test paid for by the parents will be used to determine status. The biological father will support his child, if financially able. If he is unable to support his child, then the mother receives welfare. The mother will receive no form of welfare, unless the child's father is correctly identified and he is unable to support the child. If the mother guesses wrongly on the identity of the father (DNA test), then she pays for the DNA test, loses her child, does not collect any form of welfare, and is sterilized. Feel free to modify as needed.
It's for the Bastards.

Posted by: scrood at July 25, 2015 11:30 AM (3b9U4)

76 OT: We have officially designated the Royal Rack "Lefty" and "Scamp". This message is AtC approved.

Posted by: All Hail Eris at July 25, 2015 11:32 AM (PFcQG)

77 Have to do something about the VA, too. I suggest that anyone who has been on welfare for more than three years, their payments immediately stop and that money gets diverted to veterans.
Posted by: Blueberry at July 25, 2015 11:17 AM (YxUH3)

There is talk these days of essentially closing VA hospitals, and sending Veterans with vouchers to other facilities.

Of course that's silly. They'll never close VA hospitals. VA hospitals exist to employ VA employees, not to provide care for Veterans.

Posted by: BurtTC at July 25, 2015 11:32 AM (Dj0WE)

78 As King, I immediately implement the "Affordable Firearm" act.

Posted by: Village Idiot's Apprentice at July 25, 2015 11:32 AM (VPLuQ)

79
But no fat chicks. They get a pass.

Posted by: King Garrett at July 25, 2015 11:29 AM (S0Ca+)

To fat camp.

Posted by: Jay Guevara at July 25, 2015 11:33 AM (oKE6c)

80 Most federal agencies can simply be abolished. I'd like to purge publicc schools, universties and courts of radical communist nutjobs.

Problem is, the rot is so widespread. How to do this wthout creating a vacuum? I guess put good people at the top, and those beneath them would for the most part follow the new policy?

Posted by: Kevin Jennings at July 25, 2015 11:33 AM (WhB4J)

81 As King, I immediately implement the "Affordable Firearm" act.
Posted by: Village Idiot's Apprentice at July 25, 2015 11:32 AM (VPLuQ)

Hello from Dallas-FT Worth International Airport Terminal D and I like the way you think

Posted by: Nevergiveup at July 25, 2015 11:34 AM (BmLKf)

82 You're hired.

Posted by: jacke at July 25, 2015 11:34 AM (i8Shl)

83 Wait...how did I miss this one?

First act as King?

Hillary, meet Ye Ole Royal Dungeon-master

Posted by: Village Idiot's Apprentice at July 25, 2015 11:35 AM (VPLuQ)

84 America deserves a sober government. All federal elected officials and employees will consent to a random drug and alcohol test every month. Elected officials consent to a breathalyzer test every morning, noon, afternoon, and evening, while Congress is in session.

Posted by: scrood at July 25, 2015 11:35 AM (3b9U4)

85 I would say Ryan Howard should have his salivary
glands removed, so he can't spit on his gloves between pitches, but at
this point in his career that's just piling on.

Posted by: BurtTC at July 25, 2015 11:28 AM (Dj0WE)

It's about the only thing he hits now, isn't it?
Posted by: Jay Guevara at July 25, 2015 11:29 AM (oKE6c)

Heh, sadly yes. He actually seems like a good guy, although not very bright. Got caught up in an era where big slugging guys are no longer effective... primarily because they call strikes at his ankles, three inches inside, and five inches outside.

Posted by: BurtTC at July 25, 2015 11:35 AM (Dj0WE)

86 Any politician caught in a lie gets 12 lashes in the public square.

Posted by: Fritz at July 25, 2015 11:35 AM (UzPAd)

87 "Hello from Dallas-FT Worth International Airport Terminal D and I like the way you think"

Damn Doc, I forgot all about your flight.

Have a safe one.

Posted by: Village Idiot's Apprentice at July 25, 2015 11:36 AM (VPLuQ)

88 Most federal agencies can simply be abolished. I'd like to purge publicc schools, universties and courts of radical communist nutjobs.

Problem is, the rot is so widespread. How to do this wthout creating a vacuum? I guess put good people at the top, and those beneath them would for the most part follow the new policy?
Posted by: Kevin Jennings at July 25, 2015 11:33 AM (WhB4J)

most people don't need College for the yobs they do. At lwast not 4 years at a Country Club. You could cut the Colleges and Universities by 70% and nobody would be the wiser

Posted by: Nevergiveup at July 25, 2015 11:36 AM (BmLKf)

89 The best way to deal with welfare is to make the states administer it and fund it. Because we can easily travel from state to state, it will ensure that welfare is run efficiently, is not too generous to drive out the producers and not too attractive as to get too many consumers.

Posted by: AmishDude at July 25, 2015 11:36 AM (JIElb)

90 I'm voting for King Dave

Posted by: Skip at July 25, 2015 11:37 AM (2baGi)

91 Yoga Pants on Fat Chicks is now a Crime.

Posted by: King Garrett at July 25, 2015 11:37 AM (S0Ca+)

92 K Street and all lobbying firms abolished. This includes groups like ACLU, SPLC, NRA, ABA, etc. Bribery of public officials becomes a capital offense.

Removal of "hate crimes" from the legal lexicon.

Jury pools consisting of those who can pass a civics IQ test. No more idiots sitting on juries.

Frivolous lawsuits not only thrown out but paid for by plaintiff.

And yes, the above idea of not only withdrawal from the UN, but the entire organization frog-marched out of Turtle Bay and sent packing: i.e. UN out of the US.

Lots more ideas, too numerous to mention...

Posted by: Shakespeare was right-Kill All the Lawyers at July 25, 2015 11:39 AM (u7A9M)

93 Damn Doc, I forgot all about your flight.

Have a safe one.
Posted by: Village Idiot's Apprentice at July 25, 2015 11:36 AM (VPLuQ)

I'm good. I got upgraded to Business from Dallas to Tokyo

Posted by: Nevergiveup at July 25, 2015 11:39 AM (BmLKf)

94 Fun mental exercise and all. Really. But it is futile.

Sir Isaac Newton calculated the onslaught of the Apocalypse at ~ 2060 or so (the season, mind you, not a date).

I don't have the credentials, or the time, to argue with that.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8wtQvbA0WC4

I guess I better plant some treasure while I can.

SMOD

Also, I sure hope the Rapture is real. I can't make fire, let alone skin a squirrel.

Posted by: i like anchors at July 25, 2015 11:40 AM (6E2VN)

95 I'm voting for King Dave
Posted by: Skip at July 25, 2015 11:37 AM (2baGi)

That's not how this works. That's not how ANY of this works.

Posted by: Autocracy Through the Ages at July 25, 2015 11:40 AM (Dj0WE)

96 raise the voting age back to 21

It was only lowered because of guys being drafted at 19, with the result of under-21s being killed in combat. Register to vote when you join the military or turn 21.

or 25; 30 for wimmin, as in was in the UK during the 1920s

Posted by: John Adams ( me, not my idiot son Quincy ) at July 25, 2015 11:40 AM (8CdUx)

97 NIH will fund research that focuses on the genetic basis of psychopathy. With a new genetic test for psychopathy, all Federal employees and elected officials will be tested for psychopathy and terminated for positive test results. All candidates for elected office at local, state, and federal levels will be required to be tested for psychopathy by a new Federal laboratory akin to the Underwriters Laboratory.

Posted by: scrood at July 25, 2015 11:40 AM (3b9U4)

98 "I'm good. I got upgraded to Business from Dallas to Tokyo"

Whoo hoo!!

Asian Carrier?
If so, eat...eat..then eat some more, you lucky devil.

Posted by: Village Idiot's Apprentice at July 25, 2015 11:40 AM (VPLuQ)

99 "I'm good. I got upgraded to Business from Dallas to Tokyo"

Whoo hoo!!

Asian Carrier?
If so, eat...eat..then eat some more, you lucky devil.
Posted by: Village Idiot's Apprentice at July 25, 2015 11:40 AM (VPLuQ)

American Airlines. I have a Million miles.

Posted by: Nevergiveup at July 25, 2015 11:42 AM (BmLKf)

100 Disband and imprison all members of the NE Patriots including all players, coaches, management and cheerleaders. Any person caught with Patriots paraphernalia will be forced to wear a dunce cap, forever, and register as a sex offender. Second offense would be death, no appeals.

Have Giselle bathed and perfumed and brought to my tent.

Posted by: JackStraw at July 25, 2015 11:42 AM (OGm46)

101 Cull the number of "alliances" we have as a nation, which is really just us protecting them.

How many countries do we need to go to war to protect? Canada and Mexico are obvious for border reasons. Who else.

Posted by: Nick in South Bend at July 25, 2015 11:43 AM (Umz0g)

102 NIH will fund research that focuses on the genetic basis of psychopathy. With a new genetic test for psychopathy, all Federal employees and elected officials will be tested for psychopathy and terminated for positive test results. All candidates for elected office at local, state, and federal levels will be required to be tested for psychopathy by a new Federal laboratory akin to the Underwriters Laboratory.
Posted by: scrood at July 25, 2015 11:40 AM (3b9U4)

Interesting idea. Some years ago there was lots of talk about how personality disorders (including Anti-Social, which is the official term for psychopathy) might be largely genetic. There was a great deal of resistance to that, and now we're talking mostly about childhood trauma, abuse and neglect.

It may very well be a chicken/egg sort of thing, but yeah. Genetic testing for personality disorders? It might not solve much, but it sure as heck would be very very educational and informative, which is probably why it won't happen.

Posted by: BurtTC at July 25, 2015 11:45 AM (Dj0WE)

103 The San Francisco City Council will be fed to the Lions from the National Zoo before the Inaugural Desert is served.

Posted by: King Garrett at July 25, 2015 11:45 AM (gN/Xg)

104 Get out of my mind!!

Posted by: Leonard Pinth-Garnell at July 25, 2015 11:46 AM (PtuJp)

105 Tofu is banned. Brussels sprouts too.

Posted by: JackStraw at July 25, 2015 11:47 AM (OGm46)

106 Disband and imprison all members of the NE Patriots including all players, coaches, management and cheerleaders. Any person caught with Patriots paraphernalia will be forced to wear a dunce cap, forever, and register as a sex offender. Second offense would be death, no appeals.

Have Giselle bathed and perfumed and brought to my tent.
Posted by: JackStraw at July 25, 2015 11:42 AM (OGm46)

You sure wouldn't have to look far for your pool of court jesters. The Giants players and coaches will provide you with a rich supply.

Posted by: BurtTC at July 25, 2015 11:47 AM (Dj0WE)

107 >>> The San Francisco City Council will be fed to the Lions from the National Zoo before the Inaugural Desert is served.

May I be so bold as to suggest starving rats instead of lions?

It's for the rodents.

Posted by: fluffy at July 25, 2015 11:48 AM (2iV3X)

108 Posted by: scrood at July 25, 2015 11:30 AM (3b9U4)

---
^This. The biological fathers should be the ones funding their own families. Not everybody else.

Posted by: Kevin Jennings at July 25, 2015 11:49 AM (WhB4J)

109 Soccer will be a hate crime.

Posted by: JackStraw at July 25, 2015 11:50 AM (OGm46)

110 103 The San Francisco City Council will be fed to the Lions from the National Zoo before the Inaugural Desert is served.
Posted by: King Garrett at July 25, 2015 11:45 AM (gN/Xg)

Also the Ninth Circuit.

Posted by: Jay Guevara at July 25, 2015 11:50 AM (oKE6c)

111
"AVE. AVE WEIRD DAVE, IMPERATOR!"

Posted by: Brendan at July 25, 2015 11:51 AM (gkvx9)

112 Every law will have a sunset clause. Every three years the law must be voted on to continue or it automatically goes bye-bye.

Posted by: Terentia at July 25, 2015 11:51 AM (reqJm)

113 Implement all of the Heritage Foundation's policies.

Posted by: Randall Hoven at July 25, 2015 11:52 AM (YXzTH)

114 "How many countries do we need to go to war to protect? Canada and Mexico are obvious for border reasons. Who else."

Peruvia, of course.

Posted by: Village Idiot's Apprentice at July 25, 2015 11:52 AM (VPLuQ)

115 OT-Another good news story

Coastguardsman swims a mile in dark and rough seas to save fisherman:

http://tinyurl.com/p5ndwn8

Now I'll let you get back to politics. :^)

Posted by: FenelonSpoke at July 25, 2015 11:53 AM (OSs/l)

116 Soccer will be a hate crime.
Posted by: JackStraw at July 25, 2015 11:50 AM (OGm46)

Let's not be so hasty. Can we keep women's soccer?

I'll pick the team rosters. You won't be displeased. I have some changes in mind for women's softball as well. Women's basketball though is right out.

Posted by: BurtTC at July 25, 2015 11:54 AM (Dj0WE)

117 Let's not be so hasty. Can we keep women's soccer?

I'll pick the team rosters. You won't be displeased. I have some
changes in mind for women's softball as well. Women's basketball though
is right out.

Posted by: BurtTC at July 25, 2015 11:54 AM (Dj0WE)

Why? Because they're the only lesbians who aren't grossly overweight?

Posted by: Jay Guevara at July 25, 2015 11:55 AM (oKE6c)

118 so, in regards to the commerce clause, since I have dictatorial powers:

Henceforth, the commerce clause will interpreted to mean only that the federal government will have the obligation to judge and resolve disputes between states having to do with the restriction, impedance and hindrance of trade, transit, economic activity, and the hindrance and restrictions on the transit of funds, capital and earnings between or across states. The federal government will also have the obligation to judge disputes between states having to do with disputes over resource extraction, resource exploitation, pollution and environmental degradation, but only in cases where economic harm can be shown, and actual monetary damages can be assessed.
To have standing in such a case, a petition for review under the commerce clause must be passed by the legislature of the initiating state and signed by its executive, or otherwise passed by the same mechanism as is prescribed by the state for the passage of legislation. However, no matter what the process is in passing such a petition it must be signed by the state's executive. The commission is directed in special circumstances to review written petitions directly from the legislature of the state if signed by 2/3 of the legislature and a case can be made that the executive of that state has refused to sign the petition for review.
Decisions by the federal government on such cases is final, one appeal is allowed by an appeals court found acceptable to both parties, any appeals decision may be requested for review to the supreme court.
Congress must maintain a record and explanation of these decisions to base further acceptance and decisions on.
Cost for the review will be paid by the loosing state, in addition to any monetary damages.

Oh, and minimum wage is zero.

Posted by: Kindltot at July 25, 2015 11:55 AM (3pRHP)

119 Bring back the patronage system. Then, if the postmaster offends me, I can vote for the opposition party.

Posted by: Grump928(C) at July 25, 2015 11:56 AM (rwI+c)

120 Safe Trade Act, because Free and Fair Trade have put humans at risk somewhere in this world!
All trade with countries will be evaluated based on the safety standards for manufacture of products. All foreign manufacturers must be aligned with USA safety standards including labor, environmental, health, retirement planning, etc. All foreign products that do not meet USA safety standards will be charged a Safety Tariff. Safety Uber Alles!

Posted by: scrood at July 25, 2015 11:56 AM (3b9U4)

121 >>Let's not be so hasty. Can we keep women's soccer?

Of course. And women's volleyball.

I will be a despot of the people.

Posted by: JackStraw at July 25, 2015 11:57 AM (OGm46)

122 Legalize imaginary rape.

Posted by: Haven Monahan at July 25, 2015 11:57 AM (rwI+c)

123 I would leave in place the unions for the Fire and Police. They serve the public in very dangerous situations - and lets face it - not everyone is clamoring for those jobs, are they?

But I would ax the rest. I mean I get that being an "Educator" is challenging, but it's not like crawling up four flights of smoke filled stairs with a massive tank on your back and extremely heavy gear - while a fire burns somewhere inside the walls. IMO.

Posted by: GrandeMe at July 25, 2015 11:57 AM (xhawg)

124 I would kick my feet up, confident that what needed doing had largely been accomplished on King Dave's first day in office.

Posted by: Nom de Blog at July 25, 2015 11:57 AM (wnXYZ)

125 I would also like to introduce you all to Queen Blurred Lines Brunette.

Posted by: King Garrett at July 25, 2015 11:58 AM (gN/Xg)

126 >>>Every law will have a sunset clause. Every three years the law must be voted on to continue or it automatically goes bye-bye.
Posted by: Terentia at July 25, 2015 11:51 AM (reqJm)

So many good ideas, I feel like a kid at a candy store. But the reality is, the Mochelles are coming to raze that store to the ground.

Posted by: Ariana Grande at July 25, 2015 11:58 AM (WhB4J)

127 Just to show a) we mean business, and b) we don't care who we have to splatter; if we decide it's you, you're in deep shit.

Posted by: Jay Guevara at July 25, 2015 11:17 AM (oKE6c)
ANDORRA!?!?!?!!!!

Posted by: Kindltot at July 25, 2015 11:59 AM (3pRHP)

128 Article 1 Section 9 Clause 8 is known ans the "Title of Nobility Clause" only to obfuscate its meaning.

It is actually a design of politically "out of bounds" organizations and principles. Madison intended it to permanently outlaw by revocation of citizenship those who intended to return the US to the then-majority system of inherited government , or as I put it - the venereal transmission of power.

That clause permanently puts all monarchists as non-Americans on their public support of their principles. The idea of free speech and political speech ENDS at the point of supporting and promoting aristocracy and monarchism. It is disallowed forever.

I would add operative language in an amendment that explicitly strips citizenship as intended - and include in it; Authoritarian Militarism (such as 1940's Japan), Socialism (national/fascist), Socialism (International/Communist), and Socialism (fabian) as being contrary to liberty forever and those who have advocated for it are to be deported immediately.

No more Commies, no more Maoists, no more KKK or Illinois Nazis. All to be shipped to random areas or just dropped in the ocean.

Posted by: Inspector Cussword at July 25, 2015 11:59 AM (NuQb/)

129 123 I would leave in place the unions for the Fire and Police. They serve the public in very dangerous situations - and lets face it - not everyone is clamoring for those jobs, are they?

But I would ax the rest. I mean I get that being an "Educator" is challenging, but it's not like crawling up four flights of smoke filled stairs with a massive tank on your back and extremely heavy gear - while a fire burns somewhere inside the walls. IMO.
Posted by: GrandeMe at July 25, 2015 11:57 AM (xhawg)

why unions for police and fire?

I don't get that. Unions exist to keep bad employees on the job and stifle the growth of good employees.

Posted by: mynewhandle at July 25, 2015 12:00 PM (AkOaV)

130 The guys get shirts.

Posted by: Dewey at July 25, 2015 12:01 PM (hHXBG)

131 I see Obama is lecturing Kenyans on the need for gay rights and , presumably, gay marriage in their country. This despite being warned by religious and govt officials to just drop it and screw you anyway on that issue. What ever happened to the liberal ideal of respect for other cultural and not forcing our way of life down their throat? I guess the gay agenda trumps that. It would seem it trumps everything else, at least for the moment, in the leftist coalition of competing interests.

Posted by: George Orwell de Leon at July 25, 2015 12:01 PM (1BQGO)

132 AT&T Lily will henceforth be known as the Mouth of the King.

Posted by: King Garrett at July 25, 2015 12:03 PM (gN/Xg)

133 Let's not be so hasty. Can we keep women's soccer?
I'll pick the team rosters. You won't be displeased. I have some
changes in mind for women's softball as well. Women's basketball though
is right out.

Posted by: BurtTC at July 25, 2015 11:54 AM (Dj0WE)

Why? Because they're the only lesbians who aren't grossly overweight?
Posted by: Jay Guevara at July 25, 2015 11:55 AM (oKE6c)

See, that's the problem right there. They've convinced you that female sport and lesbianism go hand in hand (or other things in other things) somehow. They do not! The lesbians have taken over these sports to a large extent, and that, in and of itself, is the problem.

As Jack's Minister for Sport, I will see to it that not only will lesbians not be allowed to play or coach women's sports, but they will not be allowed in the stands either.

Empty seats? Of course! At first at least, and it won't be a bad thing. Wait until you see what I have in mind for promotions. I'm thinking lingerie and heels on the field of play, Win-a-Date events. That sort of thing. We could make this work. Honest.

Posted by: BurtTC at July 25, 2015 12:03 PM (Dj0WE)

134 Anyone using the term Social Justice will be exiled.

And Prima Nocta will be instituted. Selectively.

Posted by: JackStraw at July 25, 2015 12:04 PM (OGm46)

135 Whoa. Republican Party favorability rating at all time low and unfavorability at an all high! And biggest drop in favorability is among Republicans! And I thought their "To Serve Republican Man" program was a sure fire winner.

Posted by: The Great White Snark at July 25, 2015 12:04 PM (QfQ1Q)

136 OT: WSJ says Obongo is going to free Pollard as part of his support for American traitors such as Bergdahl Co. The Marine in the Tijuana jail can rot, of course, as can the Americans held in Iran. Stab America in the back, however, and he drops everything to go to bat for you.

Posted by: Jay Guevara at July 25, 2015 12:04 PM (oKE6c)

137 Make all LEO's smoke a blunt before and after each shift - less ego and assholes - more YooHoo and Cheetos.
Posted by: volfan at July 25, 2015 11:28 AM (QJUXH)

Oh, yea man. Smoking weed makes you really mellow and totally not a paranoid power hungry murderer. That's why they shot me so many times.

Posted by: Zombie Pablo Escobar at July 25, 2015 12:04 PM (3pRHP)

138 >>> What ever happened to the liberal ideal of respect for other cultural and not forcing our way of life down their throat?

The American left hasn't been liberal for decades.

Posted by: fluffy at July 25, 2015 12:05 PM (2iV3X)

139 The question is moot.

Posted by: Math, dancing 'round the flames of the Burning Time at July 25, 2015 12:06 PM (rwI+c)

140 The American left hasn't been liberal for decades.
Posted by: fluffy at July 25, 2015 12:05 PM (2iV3X)

It never was liberal. It was just undercover.

Posted by: Jay Guevara at July 25, 2015 12:06 PM (oKE6c)

141 And the people said,"Hail King Dave!!!"
And King Dave said, "Hell yes!!!"

Posted by: Diogenes at July 25, 2015 12:06 PM (08Znv)

142 I see Obama is lecturing Kenyans on the need for gay rights and , presumably, gay marriage in their country. This despite being warned by religious and govt officials to just drop it and screw you anyway on that issue. What ever happened to the liberal ideal of respect for other cultural and not forcing our way of life down their throat? I guess the gay agenda trumps that. It would seem it trumps everything else, at least for the moment, in the leftist coalition of competing interests.
Posted by: George Orwell de Leon at July 25, 2015 12:01 PM (1BQGO)

True story: Kenya was (and may still be) one of the few African nations that was not overwhelmed by the AIDS epidemic.

Why?

They didn't mess around with the gay nonsense. And readily acknowledged that gay sex was the thing that was spreading this virus, and didn't pretend that it wasn't, like most of the rest of Africa.

Posted by: BurtTC at July 25, 2015 12:08 PM (Dj0WE)

143 I throw myselfat the feet andin serviceof King Dave - Long Live King Dave!

Posted by: Mac Gootbone at July 25, 2015 12:08 PM (a3o7n)

144 All that you said, plus show-trials, and show sentences being carried out on TV. One a week for 5 seasons, then a big finale for the leftovers, like Seinfeld's last show.

That would cover it.

Posted by: Dirks Strewn at July 25, 2015 12:08 PM (QdAXQ)

145 I see Obama is lecturing Kenyans on the need for gay rights and , presumably, gay marriage in their country.

-
Imma gonna let you finish but he's the greatest speechifier of all time.

P.S. He also advised them to not make terrorism worse by "painting with to broad a brush."

Posted by: The Great White Snark at July 25, 2015 12:08 PM (QfQ1Q)

146 AT&T Lily is Hawt!

Posted by: Diogenes at July 25, 2015 12:08 PM (08Znv)

147 "That's
the path whereby freedoms begin to erode and bad things happen," Obama
added during a joint news conference with Kenyan President Uhuru
Kenyatta.

Obama really does have a way with words that accounts for foreign policy successes.. That phrase and choice of words is just so erudite, well stated and elegant there's no doubt it left a lasting impression on his hosts.

Posted by: George Orwell de Leon at July 25, 2015 12:09 PM (1BQGO)

148 >>> P.S. He also advised them to not make terrorism worse by "painting with to broad a brush."

Did the boo the worthless grifter?

Posted by: fluffy at July 25, 2015 12:10 PM (2iV3X)

149 And I thought their "To Serve Republican Man" program was a sure fire winner.
Posted by: The Great White Snark at July 25, 2015 12:04 PM (QfQ1Q)

It wasn't a bad idea. The problem was, they printed many more copies of the Spanish version "Servir a Hombre Republicano."

Posted by: BurtTC at July 25, 2015 12:11 PM (Dj0WE)

150 Let's not be so hasty. Can we keep women's soccer?

-
As long as it's nude.

Posted by: The Great White Snark at July 25, 2015 12:11 PM (QfQ1Q)

151 Did They boo, etc?

Posted by: fluffy at July 25, 2015 12:11 PM (2iV3X)

152 I think Obama has poisoned government. The people who depend on government will die out as the poison takes hold. The people who don't depend on government will create things we can't predict. All King Dave would do is get himself killed by people he least expected it from.

Posted by: spoil sport at July 25, 2015 12:12 PM (PGh+Q)

153 AT&T Lily is Hawt!
Posted by: Diogenes at July 25, 2015 12:08 PM (08Znv)

The bedazzling chick?

Meh... I'll take Red from Wendys instead.

Posted by: BurtTC at July 25, 2015 12:12 PM (Dj0WE)

154 Ace must post his first thread before 10 am PST.

Posted by: King Garrett at July 25, 2015 12:13 PM (gN/Xg)

155 Hail to the king baby
Heavily armed 'ettes to comprise Gingy's retinue

Posted by: ginaswo at July 25, 2015 12:14 PM (qxNrP)

156 147 "That's the path whereby freedoms begin to erode and bad things happen," Obama added during a joint news conference with Kenyan President Uhuru Kenyatta.

Obama really does have a way with words that accounts for foreign policy successes.. That phrase and choice of words is just so erudite, well stated and elegant there's no doubt it left a lasting impression on his hosts.
Posted by: George Orwell de Leon at July 25, 2015 12:09 PM (1BQGO)

I think you misunderstood. He was advocating their taking that path, not warning them against it.

Posted by: Jay Guevara at July 25, 2015 12:14 PM (oKE6c)

157 Oh, yea man. Smoking weed makes you really mellow and totally not a paranoid power hungry murderer. That's why they shot me so many times.
Posted by: Zombie Pablo Escobar at July 25, 2015 12:04 PM (3pRHP)

Escobar was a coke head, not a pot head.

Haha.

Big difference.

Posted by: mynewhandle at July 25, 2015 12:14 PM (AkOaV)

158 >>Ace must post his first thread before 10 am PST

Somebody always has to put up unrealistic ideas.

Posted by: JackStraw at July 25, 2015 12:15 PM (OGm46)

159 OK, Dave, we'll trust you with a dictatorship. But just this once.

Posted by: rickl at July 25, 2015 12:15 PM (sdi6R)

160 I would round up all SJWs and use them as court jesters.

Bwahahahaha.

Posted by: chique d'afrique (the artist formerly known as african chick) at July 25, 2015 12:15 PM (iCUDL)

161 150 Let's not be so hasty. Can we keep women's soccer?
-
As long as it's nude.
Posted by: The Great White Snark at July 25, 2015 12:11 PM (QfQ1Q)

Now THAT'S hasty. Let's first wait and see if BurtTC can deliver on his promise to 86 the lesbians.

Posted by: Jay Guevara at July 25, 2015 12:16 PM (oKE6c)

162 "The American left hasn't been liberal for decades."

It's amazing how many lefty drones still call themselves liberals, completely ignorant of the fact that their positions are straight-up Marxist.

Posted by: Cloyd Freud, Unemployed at July 25, 2015 12:17 PM (YFw5T)

163 Smoking will be mandatory in all bars.

Posted by: JackStraw at July 25, 2015 12:17 PM (OGm46)

164 159 OK, Dave, we'll trust you with a dictatorship. But just this once.
Posted by: rickl at July 25, 2015 12:15 PM (sdi6R)

And on his way out the door, Dave can channel Ben Franklin redux: "A republic, if you can keep it, this goddamned time.

Posted by: Jay Guevara at July 25, 2015 12:17 PM (oKE6c)

165 Gut the Code of Federal Regulations - not only to kill all the alphabet agencies, but to get rid of the concept of a federal criminal offense except for treason, which includes illegal invasion (levying war). Let civil and criminal prosecution be managed by the States, according to Article III.

PS: Why so many comments about managing tuition & tenure at the Universities? Get the Federal government out of the Universities entirely; let the States of Foundations or whomever run the damn things. And no Federal bucks, no Federal research grants, etc. That ain't the job of government.

Posted by: LCMS Rulz! at July 25, 2015 12:17 PM (PEgKF)

166 "why unions for police and fire?

I don't get that. Unions exist to keep bad employees on the job and stifle the growth of good employees.~Posted by: mynewhandle"

Because the unions also work to keep conditions, equipment, training, compensation, etc, adequate. I think that for Fire and Police those things are pretty important. Managers in non-union jobs have been known to keep bad employees around, and refuse to promote good employees.
It isn't just a union trick.

Posted by: GrandeMe at July 25, 2015 12:18 PM (xhawg)

167 repeal the tax code and prohibit the federal government from direct taxation. instead have the states collect all the taxes in a manner they seem fit and then they can fund the federal government directly. reverse the flow of funds from states to the feds and the fed budget will collapse and the 10th amendment restored.

Posted by: scofflaw at July 25, 2015 12:18 PM (8b/pd)

168 162 "The American left hasn't been liberal for decades."
It's amazing how many lefty drones still call themselves liberals, completely ignorant of the fact that their positions are straight-up Marxist.
Posted by: Cloyd Freud, Unemployed at July 25, 2015 12:17 PM (YFw5T)

Or alternatively they style themselves as "progressives," apparently unaware (I hope it's lack of awareness, at any rate) that the USSR used routinely to refer to foreign Communists as "progressives."

Posted by: Jay Guevara at July 25, 2015 12:18 PM (oKE6c)

169 Taxes and the consumption economy have cratered. Illegal immigration and Iran deal is all about getting things going again without admitting anything is wrong. Like John DeLorean trying to sale illegal drugs to refinance his company.
http://davidstockmanscontracorner.com/

Posted by: deep or at least different thinker at July 25, 2015 12:18 PM (PGh+Q)

170 Escobar was a coke head, not a pot head.

Haha.

Big difference.
Posted by: mynewhandle at July 25, 2015 12:14 PM (AkOaV)

No. Not to start with.
Oh my God, you BASTARD! Are you saying pot is a gateway drug?

Posted by: Santiago Meza Lopez, "El Pozolero" at July 25, 2015 12:19 PM (3pRHP)

171 Let's not be so hasty. Can we keep women's soccer?
-
As long as it's nude.
Posted by: The Great White Snark at July 25, 2015 12:11 PM (QfQ1Q)

Now THAT'S hasty. Let's first wait and see if BurtTC can deliver on his promise to 86 the lesbians.
Posted by: Jay Guevara at July 25, 2015 12:16 PM (oKE6c)

Yes, sports bras exist for a reason. They are your friend. Do not discard them until after the match is completed... and for pete's sake, stay out of the dirty sports bra hamper!

Posted by: BurtTC at July 25, 2015 12:20 PM (Dj0WE)

172 >Because the unions also work to keep conditions, equipment, training, compensation, etc, adequate

When you work for the taxpayer, he's the one who decides what's adequate.

Posted by: kartoffel at July 25, 2015 12:20 PM (uEmgg)

173 And on his way out the door, Dave can channel Ben Franklin redux: "A republic, if you can keep it, this goddamned time.

A-fucking-men

Posted by: Weirddave at July 25, 2015 12:20 PM (WvS3w)

174 So, I support diminishing, reducing and getting rid of the SSDI all together, or at least getting it out of the hands of the feds. For these very reasons.

How about long term disability insurance? Pay for your own shit. The Work Comp system is just as corrupt as any other government agency. Illegals are pros at gaming the system along with the dr's.

Been working in this system almost 15 yrs. It disgusts me. Especially when I have to hire translators.

Posted by: Infidel at July 25, 2015 12:21 PM (3b6dx)

175 New England will be traded to Canada for the Yukon, Alberta and British Columbia.

Sorry, but I want to be able to ride with Queen Hannah, on her horse, to Alaska without leaving my borders.

Posted by: King Garrett at July 25, 2015 12:22 PM (gN/Xg)

176 PS: Why so many comments about managing tuition tenure at the Universities? Get the Federal government out of the Universities entirely; let the States of Foundations or whomever run the damn things. And no Federal bucks, no Federal research grants, etc. That ain't the job of government.
Posted by: LCMS Rulz! at July 25, 2015 12:17 PM (PEgKF)

I'd say that there's an argument for Federal research grants, not to study why dykes are fat, mind you, but for basic scientific research, which no individual / company / state will fund because it's more sensible to wait for someone else to fund it, and thereby to get the benefit of that research for free. (It's why California's program to fund stem cell research was politically-inspired madness.)

In this connection, basic research is much like building highways and protecting the border; in everyone's collective interest, but in no one's individual interest.

Posted by: Jay Guevara at July 25, 2015 12:23 PM (oKE6c)

177 My bf fisted you this week!

Posted by: Reggie! at July 25, 2015 12:23 PM (gwG9s)

178 "Yoga Pants on Fat Chicks is now a Crime."

Yoga pants on good-looking, fit chicks is now mandatory.

Posted by: PD Quig at July 25, 2015 12:23 PM (N1WR3)

179 re ...167 repeal the tax code and prohibit the federal government from direct taxation....

This probably can't be done and wouldn't last. I think the history of USA and also the bible where they made Saul King and quit being lead by Judges gives evidence to that. In the end we would end up with the situation in Europe with New York and California fighting it out like France and Germany.

Posted by: deep or at least different thinker at July 25, 2015 12:25 PM (PGh+Q)

180 Soccer will be a hate crime.

Posted by: JackStraw at July 25, 2015 11:50 AM (OGm46)

Yes

Posted by: Velvet Ambition at July 25, 2015 12:25 PM (R8hU8)

181 Gut the Code of Federal Regulations [...]
Posted by: LCMS Rulz! at July 25, 2015 12:17 PM (PEgKF)

Yes X 1000. I used to live my life according the CFR 29, pertaining to the Fair Labor Standards Act, determining wages, overtime, exemptions, and a whole host of other things having only to do with that and MSPA. Tiny print, thick as the phone book for the capitol of your state and ONE OF 50 volumes in the series.

Posted by: Kindltot at July 25, 2015 12:26 PM (3pRHP)

182 And no capes!

Posted by: Edna Mode at July 25, 2015 12:26 PM (+1T7c)

183 How about long term disability insurance? Pay for your own shit. The Work Comp system is just as corrupt as any other government agency. Illegals are pros at gaming the system along with the dr's.

Been working in this system almost 15 yrs. It disgusts me. Especially when I have to hire translators.
Posted by: Infidel at July 25, 2015 12:21 PM (3b6dx)

In a real world, it would be interesting if we had a national conversation about a mandatory system of disability insurance. I mean, it seems like a logical next step after health insurance, right?

Only this time, you qualify if you were injured on the job. Congenital defects are another thing, getting your head crashed in by doing 90 on city streets on your motorcycle is another thing. Being a general overall deadbeat of course, is something else altogether.

You can go to charities for help with those things, but on the job? Sure. Two-ton blocks of cement fall on your head, we'll pay for your care and upkeep. That was the intent of disability Social Security in the first place, so widow and orphans don't starve when their husbands die young.

Posted by: BurtTC at July 25, 2015 12:27 PM (Dj0WE)

184 Jefferson will be removed from the Nickel and replaced with a life-sized depiction of AtC.

Posted by: King Garrett at July 25, 2015 12:28 PM (gN/Xg)

185 "I'd be the strangest damn dictator in human history, ruthlessly devolving the power of the state and then abdicating,.."

You sound like an excellent "dictator." You would have my support -- in this and most else of what you prescribe.

Posted by: rrpjr at July 25, 2015 12:28 PM (s/yC1)

186 Increase the school year to 250 days. Use the extra time to make the kids do all their "homework" in the school. If the kids have idle time, make them do more classes and work. (and no salary increase for teachers for making them work same number of days as everybody else.)

All teachers must take SAT, and any who score below 45th percentile are booted out.

Lock up everybody who identifies as a member of a criminal gang. Lock up everybody who identifies as a jihadi.

Rigidly enforce laws already on the books re: guns, immigration.

Repeal the 1964 Civil Rights Act, and restore freedom of association to Americans.

Audit the Federal Reserve. Stop deficit spending and stop creating dollars out of phlogiston.

Posted by: king gp at July 25, 2015 12:29 PM (mk9aG)

187 ATT Lily is Hawt!

Posted by: Diogenes at July 25, 2015 12:08 PM

*heads over to Google Images*

Brb. Bunk.

Posted by: RedMindBlueState at July 25, 2015 12:31 PM (QiBX8)

188 Jefferson will be removed from the Nickel and replaced with a life-sized depiction of AtC.

Posted by: King Garrett at July 25, 2015 12:28 PM (gN/Xg)

And it will still fit on the Nickle

Posted by: Velvet Ambition at July 25, 2015 12:32 PM (R8hU8)

189 I would only add for now that I would uproot the educational system. Mandatory American history and civics. Any student entering high school would need to pass a comprehensive civics test and know the Constitution backwards and forwards.

Posted by: rrpjr at July 25, 2015 12:32 PM (s/yC1)

190 Eliminate daylight savings time
Ban "blackouts" for sports coverage

but seriously:
-Deport all radical Muslims who preach or practice effective war on the USA: if necessary, exile them and strip visas, even citizenship in the most radical extremists.
-Start with the latest executive orders, and analyze every one of them, one order at a time and eliminate all that are excessive, meaningless, or unconstitutional.
-Audit the Federal Reserve, ruthlessly.
-Cut every federal agency, salary, and benefit by a flat 25% baseline, as a minimum.
-Ruthlessly audit all jobs and agencies to clear out waste, fraud, duplication, and unnecessary workers. There's a guy getting six figures a year to make sure the border between Canada and the USA doesn't change. That's his job.
-Strip all laws from the books that are obscure, inapplicable, duplicated, or so ignored that they effectively aren't laws any longer.
-Fire everyone in every agency and force them to reapply, hiring only the minimum and highest quality.
-Destroy and outlaw public sector unions. Jail union heads for fraud and theft.
-Wipe out the system the left uses to redistribute taxes through non profits and radical activist groups to Democrat politicians.
-Decimate congress at random. Literally. Then fire them all and randomly draft people from the citizenry to serve a term, rebooting the entire system.
-Rewrite the 14th amendment to more specifically and literally focus on its original intent. As written its too broad and can be used to defend nearly anything.
-Ban abortion.
-Vacate many Supreme Court rulings such as the latest homosexual "marriage" one and Kelo.
-Selectively delete unconstitutional laws from the books. Require all legislation to specifically state where in the constitution they are allowed to take this action.
-Rewrite the commerce clause in the constitution to be more specific and less easy to abuse.
-Tear down the UN Building and force them to build it somewhere else. Eliminate funding to the UN until they change the basic charter to recognize the difference between a dictatorship and a free nation.
-Jail about 100 specific people for treason and various tax violations; you can guess who most of them are off the top of your head, such as George Soros. Ensure they have no contact with any media and are unable to manipulate the press or public opinion.
-Remove "most favored nation status" from China. Treat it as the enemy at war with the USA that it plainly is.
-Cut off all ties with Cuba, returning it to pre-Obama status until it removes communists from the Island.
-Create Limbaugh's "sh*t list" of nations: if you piss us off, we stop being nice to you. If you're good to us, you get favorable treatment.

And that's just getting started.

Posted by: Christopher Taylor at July 25, 2015 12:32 PM (39g3+)

191 No tax deductions? So corporations and small businesses would pay 15% on their GROSS revenue rather than profits? Most businesses don't clear 15% in pretax profits so they would be paying all of their profits, and more, to the state. I wonder how long they would stay in business.

You'd better rethink that one, Your Wonkishness.

Posted by: Cicero (@cicero) at July 25, 2015 12:32 PM (oZr5y)

192 Problem is, the rot is so widespread. How to do this wthout creating a vacuum?

Posted by: Kevin Jennings at July 25, 2015 11:33 AM (WhB4J)

Most Federal bucks are spent in the States. Block grant the whole shebang to the States, no strings attached, for about two years to allow the States to build up their own agencies (should they choose to) and then write the whole mess out of the Federal Code, and let the States manage it all. Lots of unemployment at DC, but the States ought to be hiring... There needn't be a vacuum - just a transfer of responsibility to the States, which is where it has always belonged.

That gives everyone two whole freakin' years to figure out if their gravy train is going to continue, and what to do about it. From that point on, the welfare of the individual citizen is a matter between the citizen and the State in which he/she/it resides.

Posted by: LCMS Rulz! at July 25, 2015 12:33 PM (PEgKF)

193 >In this connection, basic research is much like building highways and protecting the border; in everyone's collective interest, but in no one's individual interest.

Problem is there's no such thing as a collective interest. The tragedy of the commons isn't so much a tragedy as a misunderstanding of property. The entity tasked with protecting the border only has an interest in doing so until a greater interest conflicts with it, as we've seen, because the entity has no long-term interest in the health of what's inside the borders. Eliminate the commons, eliminate the problem.

Posted by: kartoffel at July 25, 2015 12:33 PM (uEmgg)

194 New Zealand will be annexed and renamed Happy Party Land.

Air Force one will be a Stealth Bomber.

Posted by: JackStraw at July 25, 2015 12:33 PM (OGm46)

195 Oh yeah: eliminate the penny, and replace the dollar bill with dollar coin.

Posted by: Christopher Taylor at July 25, 2015 12:34 PM (39g3+)

196

Posted by: Kindltot at July 25, 2015 12:34 PM (3pRHP)

197 Well I'm here way too late for any dukedoms.
I'd rather be a peasant under King Dave than a taxpayer for King Barry.

Posted by: JohnnyBoy at July 25, 2015 12:35 PM (KG0mU)

198 Posted by: LCMS Rulz! at July 25, 2015 12:33 PM

I, however, remain.....

Posted by: The Barrel at July 25, 2015 12:35 PM (QiBX8)

199 Jefferson will be removed from the Nickel and replaced with a life-sized depiction of AtC.
Posted by: King Garrett at July 25, 2015 12:28 PM (gN/Xg)

I would much rather we eliminate coins altogether. Replace them with other small, semi-useful items being recognized as legal tender. Things like extra buttons, three-pronged outlet adapters, single socks, and magnets.

There you go: Those items, buttons = 1 cent, adapters = 5, a sock is a dime, and magnets a quarter.

No need for coins. Evar.

Posted by: BurtTC at July 25, 2015 12:35 PM (Dj0WE)

200 You're smart friend are already here! Soetoro has ruined your country. You know it's true.

Posted by: BELIZE! at July 25, 2015 12:36 PM (gwG9s)

201 No tax deductions?[/em]

Flat tax for everyone, without deductions would not have to be as high a rate as people think. But I'd use a fixed sales tax instead and require a 2/3rds majority to raise, while eliminating all other taxes (inheritance, capital gains, income, etc)

Posted by: Christopher Taylor at July 25, 2015 12:36 PM (39g3+)

202 Oh one last addition: require someone to own property before they can vote. And yes, that would mean I don't get a vote.

Posted by: Christopher Taylor at July 25, 2015 12:38 PM (39g3+)

203 The Statue of Liberty would be slightly remodeled to get rid of the torch for an upraised middle finger. It will now be called the Statue of Wrath Upon Those Who would Overstay Their Visa.

Posted by: Cicero (@cicero) at July 25, 2015 12:39 PM (oZr5y)

204 Heh, The Barrel is due.

Posted by: Ricardo Kill at July 25, 2015 12:39 PM (/QgGG)

205 195 Oh yeah: eliminate the penny, and replace the dollar bill with dollar coin.
Posted by: Christopher Taylor at July 25, 2015 12:34 PM (39g3+)

And I shall lead the rebellion against your reign.

...unless you're bringing back silver dollars. Then, let's talk.

Posted by: AD at July 25, 2015 12:40 PM (s4wTA)

206 NCJ will be forcefully relocated to Chicago until such time as the Cubs win a World Series.

Posted by: King Garrett at July 25, 2015 12:40 PM (gN/Xg)

207 You'd better rethink that one, Your Wonkishness.

You're right, I meant no deductions for individuals. 15% of profit for corporations.

Posted by: Weirddave at July 25, 2015 12:40 PM (WvS3w)

208 My, requests King Dave:

All federal and state employees must be U.S. born (overreach in states' business but tough titty).

Legal Immigration: Freeze for 5 years; after 5 years, 4 years; after 4 years, 3 years, etc. All sponsorship of relatives will be limited to immediate family, wife/husband and kids; parents do not qualify.

Mandatory: all federal elected officials and their staff retirement benefits are for six years only.

Mandatory: all federally elected officials and their staff must be audited yearly; no extensions. After leaving office, mandatory audits for 10 years to be paid for by said official, no extensions (these costs will be tax deductible). All investigations stemming from audits to be paid for by said official, not U.S. taxpayer and are not tax deductible.

Mandatory: all federally elected officials must retire at 68-70.

Mandatory: all federally elected officials and their staff are prohibited from ever, ever, ever, to work for any lobbying firms in any capacity.

I am not for term limits but do advocate for limiting incentives for "lifers".

Current same sex marriage ruling will be declared invalid; can only be determined by each state, but prohibited through state legislation and courts; can only be approved by legal residents of each state by voting and must achieve 60% approval to be enacted into law. Further, it will be prohibited from being enshrined in states constitutions.

Regarding our beloved military: no transgender bullshit. If you are a man who wants to be a woman or vice versa, you cannot inflict your mental illness on our brave fighting force. You will be discharged immediately with no benefits. As to the gay stuff, go back to the Don't Ask, Don't Tell. All recognition of gay partnerships will cease; no benefits will be paid for gay partners by U.S. taxpayers. All discrimination of religious opinion or practices will be fully prosecuted.

Posted by: Joanne at July 25, 2015 12:41 PM (indTK)

209 I lied. Remove pissant laws like the one making it a crime to lie to a federal cop, and the one that makes it illegal to deposit or take out less than x amount of money multiple times to avoid IRS reporting.

And take a serious, long look at the constitutionality of RICO. I'm not kidding, that one makes me really uneasy no matter how nice it was in breaking up organized crime.

Posted by: Christopher Taylor at July 25, 2015 12:42 PM (39g3+)

210 ATT Lily is Hawt!

Posted by: Diogenes at July 25, 2015 12:08 PM

*heads over to Google Images*

Brb. Bunk.

Posted by: RedMindBlueState at July 25, 2015 12:31 PM (QiBX

... oh. Oh my. Those AT and T commercials sure do sex her down. She is tasty. Very tasty indeed.

Posted by: BurtTC at July 25, 2015 12:43 PM (Dj0WE)

211 Baseball season will end on Labor Day, and the team with the most wins is declared champion.

Posted by: Bobby Cox at July 25, 2015 12:43 PM (Ui7Rt)

212 ***"I'd say that there's an argument for Federal research grants, not to study why dykes are fat, mind you, but for basic scientific research..."***

No federal funding for Humanities, Social Sciences, Behavioral Studies, Psychology, or any other "science" in which you cannot obtain reliable data.

Any federally funded research found to contain fraudulently manipulated data gets jail time for the researchers and the department/organization has to return the money.

Posted by: Burn the Witch at July 25, 2015 12:44 PM (xSCb6)

213 "one that makes it illegal to deposit or take out less than x amount of money"

Chaps my ass too. Made to fight the drug war but a great big fcuking problem for the average citizen as well. I want my money, I take it, it's between me and the bank.

Posted by: Ricardo Kill at July 25, 2015 12:45 PM (/QgGG)

214 Because the unions also work to keep conditions, equipment, training, compensation, etc, adequate. I think that for Fire and Police those things are pretty important. Managers in non-union jobs have been known to keep bad employees around, and refuse to promote good employees.
It isn't just a union trick.
Posted by: GrandeMe at July 25, 2015 12:18 PM (xhawg)

Objection: assumes facts not in evidence.

Posted by: mynewhandle at July 25, 2015 12:45 PM (AkOaV)

215 King Dave-
"The Lady of the Lake, her arm clad in the purest shimmering samite held aloft Excalibur from the bosom of the water, signifying by divine providence that I, Weird Dave was to carry Excalibur. That is why I am your king.

Peasant Muldoon-
"Listen, strange women lyin' in ponds distributin' swords is no basis for a system of government. Supreme executive power derives from a mandate from the masses, not from farcical aquatic ceremony."

Posted by: Muldoon, Serf City USA at July 25, 2015 12:45 PM (NeFrd)

216 ATT Lily is a cute kid but hot? I guess I'm getting old.

Baseball season will end on Labor Day, and the team with the most wins is declared champion.

I'm fine with rolling back to 154 games, eliminating the DH, removing the wild card, eliminating interleague play, and adding Caribbean and Pacific leagues. Although without all those central American and Caribbean players, the NL and AL are going to start to suck

Posted by: Christopher Taylor at July 25, 2015 12:46 PM (39g3+)

217 There you go: Those items, buttons = 1 cent, adapters = 5, a sock is a dime, and magnets a quarter.

No need for coins. Evar.

Posted by: BurtTC
------------------------------
I bet a sock full of magnets will do some damage in a prisonfight.

Posted by: Chi at July 25, 2015 12:46 PM (EfRAJ)

218 I'd say that there's an argument for Federal research grants

Not in the constitution, there's not.

Posted by: Christopher Taylor at July 25, 2015 12:47 PM (39g3+)

219 'The Salaminizer' is now the National Anthem.

Posted by: King Garrett at July 25, 2015 12:47 PM (gN/Xg)

220 "Problem is there's no such thing as a collective interest."

Sure there is. A collective interest is one in which at least some fraction of the population has an interest, but at the present no one knows whether or not he is in that fraction.

It's the same logic as that behind insurance. Socializing the risk makes sense there because you don't know if you're going to suffer a catastrophic loss, so you lay off most of the risk, thereby converting a small chance of a large loss into a 100% chance of a small loss.

Subvention of basic research costs is similar. Somebody will benefit from the research, but right now no one knows who, and so no one wants to pay for it. Look at, e.g., Michael Milken. Before, rapacious greedy SOB with zero interest in paying for prostate cancer research. Once he got it, and thus perceived his personal interest, he was a rapacious greedy SOB who was all for it.

The problem is that in many cases, if you wait to fund research until you know you need the results of that research, you're done, because you need them now, and the research timescale is the decade. Milken benefited from research others had paid for.

Posted by: Jay Guevara at July 25, 2015 12:47 PM (oKE6c)

221
How many countries do we need to go to war to protect? Canada and Mexico are obvious for border reasons. Who else.

Posted by: Nick in South Bend

Hey Uncle Sam, don't fuck with us!

Posted by: Peruvia at July 25, 2015 12:47 PM (OiFtZ)

222 And yeah, I've had a little crush on AT&T Lily for awhile. First time I saw her I knew she was one of those chicks who conceals major hawtness.

Posted by: Burn the Witch at July 25, 2015 12:48 PM (xSCb6)

223 218 I'd say that there's an argument for Federal research grants
Not in the constitution, there's not.
Posted by: Christopher Taylor at July 25, 2015 12:47 PM (39g3+)

"Promoting the General Welfare" covers it, I'd say.

Posted by: Jay Guevara at July 25, 2015 12:48 PM (oKE6c)

224 Oh, and summarily execute anyone who says, "It's for the children!"

Posted by: Jay Guevara at July 25, 2015 11:13 AM (oKE6c)

Also, "Shovel-ready jobs."

Posted by: Joanne at July 25, 2015 12:48 PM (indTK)

225 As I always say, if people are the solution, it stands to reason they were the problem to begin with. Keeping that in mind, King Cavil the Great and Terrible would begin with people.

Specifically: Firing nearly all of them working for government; banning public sector unions of any kind at any level; banning any prior members of such from ever holding any government post (elected, appointed, or hired); clearing out the corrupt judicial system; requiring picture ID and ironclad proof of citizenship to vote or collect any government benefit; slash said benefits to the core; dump any agency not specifically authorized in the Constitution and all their regulations (and slash the regs at the survivors to a bare minimum). Oh, and the Federal student loan programs are done.

And then I get serious. Want to riot and loot because Pooky got shot? Hello, Insurrection Act! Border's got fences getting built and patrolled by helicopter gunships and men with dogs. Remember that anti-land mind treaty? Buh-bye!

Oh, UN? Please vacate the premises within 90 days. That's some prime real estate you're wasting there! (Also, we're out, and if we see you here again you'll be arrested. Have a nice day.)

First Islamofucktard attack under the new regime, we flatten a city. Second, we flatten two. Third, we just nuke all major Islamic population centers including your "holy" cities except Jerusalem, which is the capital of Israel by the will and grace of God alone.

Yeah, Muslims might want to consider relocating. Bad enough some of our own think they deserve their own laws and perks, I'll be damned if anyone will be colonizing us with an alien culture. That goes for everyone now, assimilate or GTFO.

As for the media...I wonder what's in those files the NSA keeps? That should help straighten that crap out...

No greater friend. No worse enemy.

Posted by: Brother Cavil, by the Pale Moon light at July 25, 2015 12:49 PM (m9V0o)

226 Dave's on the money, but how about, in addition:

"Loser pays" for lawsuits.
Voting rights for taxpayers only.
Criminal/Legal penalties for the parents of minor children who commit crimes.
Compel accountability for bad parenting: cirminal/legal penalties for parents of minor children who commit crimes and withdrawing a portion of welfare payments/benefits for bad behavior of kids - for instance, lose the obamaphone.
Secure the border...and put welfare cases to work to build two fences.
Offer a bounty for anyone who can prove SSDI fraud.
Term limits for "reporters."
Require foundations/NGO's and other wetsmacks to accept accountability for their measures. Hey, Coalition for the Homeless lady - you've got a permanent houseguest!

Posted by: vivi at July 25, 2015 12:49 PM (/wu0m)

227 re-institute a fully backed currency and make sure all paper money and make sure the backing a) is in gold, b) at least at the level of 90%, and c) the reserve is in actual gold and not is promises, rehypothectated promises or stocks, bonds, or other instruments based on someone-else's promise.

As for the argument like Paul Krugman's (who once won a Nobel Prize, like Obama!) that printing money for loans is the only way to distort the economy into a condition that he feels is suitable, that function of extra liquidity should be taken over by private investment firms, and not a government or a federal reserve that can print money to meet their needs.

Hard money ends inflation caused by inflation, so no need for a dollar coin - except for the silver cartwheels.

Posted by: Kindltot at July 25, 2015 12:49 PM (3pRHP)

228 "Promoting the General Welfare" covers it, I'd say.

Good and Plenty clause, I presume?

Posted by: Brother Cavil, by the Pale Moon light at July 25, 2015 12:50 PM (m9V0o)

229 216 ATT Lily is a cute kid but hot? I guess I'm getting old.
------------------------------
CT,
I'm sure one of the more respected Morons will post a couple REAL pics of her. And possibly her actual name. Y'know - for further "research."

Yeah. She's a clockstopper. Scorching

Posted by: Chi at July 25, 2015 12:52 PM (EfRAJ)

230 Good and Plenty clause, I presume?
Posted by: Brother Cavil, by the Pale Moon light at July 25, 2015 12:50 PM (m9V0o)

Yep. I think it's right before the "Good and Hard" clause.

Posted by: Jay Guevara at July 25, 2015 12:53 PM (oKE6c)

231 Oh, and summarily execute anyone who says, "It's for the children!"

Posted by: Jay Guevara at July 25, 2015 11:13 AM (oKE6c)

Also, "Shovel-ready jobs."

Posted by: Joanne at July 25, 2015 12:48 PM (indTK)

*****************

I would like to submit these:

"National conversation"

and

"**** Community***

Posted by: Burn the Witch at July 25, 2015 12:53 PM (xSCb6)

232 Stay away from my Lily!

Posted by: King Garrett at July 25, 2015 12:53 PM (gN/Xg)

233 Her name is Milana Vayntrub, but she still just looks like a cute kid to me.

http://tinyurl.com/oqzudqo

Posted by: Christopher Taylor at July 25, 2015 12:53 PM (39g3+)

234 Meant that last one to be "*** Community"

Posted by: Burn the Witch at July 25, 2015 12:54 PM (xSCb6)

235 - No one on any public assistance gets to vote while taking said assistance and for 6 months after it stops.

- Kill public service unions, hell all unions. They aren't needed anymore.

-get the fuck out of the UN and quit funding it.

- purge and/or kill most federal agencies, i.e. EPA

- Raise voting age to 25 unless you have military service.

- Build a fence, Israeli style, on both borders. Make illegal aliens actual criminals and kick them out.

- implement a real and tough foreign policy. If you want us to help defend your country, you have to pay for it with money, resources, or territory. Except for Israel, they get a pass since they actually buy their own defense. They get help from us in return for a base.

- Term limits for elected officials. A 20-25 year period for SCOTUS

I'll stop for now

-

Posted by: lindafell de Spair at July 25, 2015 12:54 PM (xVgrA)

236 @223

One image search will turn up a ton of better pics than that one.

Posted by: Burn the Witch at July 25, 2015 12:56 PM (xSCb6)

237 "Promoting the General Welfare" covers it, I'd say.

Opening up that can of worms in the newly rebooted Republic would be its hasty demise.

I'd quote a bunch of times from the founding fathers on the topic, but you ought to know better without them.

Posted by: Christopher Taylor at July 25, 2015 12:57 PM (39g3+)

238 215 Muldoon, Serf City

Watch it, wise guy, or you'll experience the violence inherent in the system.

Posted by: Weirddave at July 25, 2015 12:57 PM (WvS3w)

239 I would much rather we eliminate coins altogether.
Replace them with other small, semi-useful items being recognized as
legal tender. Things like extra buttons, three-pronged outlet adapters,
single socks, and magnets.

There you go: Those items, buttons = 1 cent, adapters = 5, a sock is a dime, and magnets a quarter.

No need for coins. Evar.
Posted by: BurtTC at July 25, 2015 12:35 PM (Dj0WE)

I am told that, in Italy toward when they dumped the Lira, there was a small-change/small currency shortage. Small stores did not have the currency on hand to make exact change, and I suspect a sales tax was messing with everyone too.
So, when you rang up a charge of, say 850 lira and paid with a thousand, they would make up the difference with small toys, keychains, super balls and dental floss. They wouldn't accept the stock BACK, but the point was to even up accounts.

I was also told that the Italian telecom company at that time had a pre-paid tokens that you could use for public pay phone calls, and the larger ones were set up for one-coin calls to Germany and France, and had the country outline struck on it. When I was told about that I mentioned that clearly the only non-inflationary currency in Italy was private, I got a rather disgusted look.

Posted by: Kindltot at July 25, 2015 12:58 PM (3pRHP)

240 231 Oh, and summarily execute anyone who says, "It's for the children!"
Posted by: Jay Guevara at July 25, 2015 11:13 AM (oKE6c)
Also, "Shovel-ready jobs."
Posted by: Joanne at July 25, 2015 12:48 PM (indTK)
*****************
I would like to submit these:
"National conversation"
and
"**** Community***
Posted by: Burn the Witch at July 25, 2015 12:53 PM (xSCb6)

Add "community organizer." Oh yes.

Posted by: Jay Guevara at July 25, 2015 12:58 PM (oKE6c)

241 Cut and pasted from the original Constitution:

Article V Section 6b subparagraph 14 line 7-

"Monies for the scientific study of jumbo jogging fhrimp, overweight lefbians and other fimilar aquatic organifms when allocated by the Exceutive for Purposes of advancement of general Welfare shall be difburfed from the general Revenue fund.

(Tough sledding with all those esses that look like effs).

Posted by: Muldoon, Serf City USA at July 25, 2015 12:59 PM (NeFrd)

242 >Sure there is. A collective interest is one in which at least some fraction of the population has an interest, but at the present no one knows whether or not he is in that fraction.

Elected government can't function as an insurance company. Time preference is too high. Beyond that, I don't trust my infinitely well-informed fellow citizens to determine what my future interests might be.

Posted by: kartoffel at July 25, 2015 01:00 PM (uEmgg)

243
This thread is simply a snapshot look at the condescending conservative thought on how to further enslave you and your family. We've worked for years to protect the children, homosexuals, lesbians, transgendered, and friends of Bill, but now the right wing cabal seeks to undo all of our gains and return America to the hollowed out shell of the Reagan dictatorship.

We must not let this happen, and I'm the only candidate that will maintain the status quo, and provide for the collective good for one and all. Seize the moment and vote for Hillary as the savior of our planet.

Posted by: Sir Rodham the Social Warrior at July 25, 2015 01:01 PM (OiFtZ)

244 233
You're right, CT.
You're getting old.

Posted by: Chi at July 25, 2015 01:01 PM (EfRAJ)

245 Help! I'm being oppressed!

Posted by: Muldoon, Serf City USA at July 25, 2015 01:01 PM (NeFrd)

246 I'd quote a bunch of times from the founding fathers on the topic, but you ought to know better without them.
Posted by: Christopher Taylor at July 25, 2015 12:57 PM (39g3+)

The Constitution explicitly provides for "mail roads," which are essentially the same concept of a collective good. Sticking to the literally construed language of someone written in the 18th century is silly. I'm not an "adumbrations and penumbrae" man, but a little bit of flexibility is certainly called for. One could hardly expect the Founding Fathers to have included an explicit proviso to support mapping the human genome.

Posted by: Jay Guevara at July 25, 2015 01:02 PM (oKE6c)

247 ATT Lily, not such a kid:

http://media.247sports.com/Uploads/Assets/998/356/3356998.jpg

Posted by: Weirddave at July 25, 2015 01:02 PM (WvS3w)

248 One image search will turn up a ton of better pics than that one.

Indeed:
http://wp.me/pIgnu-4sQG

Posted by: Brother Cavil, by the Pale Moon light at July 25, 2015 01:04 PM (m9V0o)

249 167 repeal the tax code and prohibit the federal government from direct taxation. instead have the states collect all the taxes in a manner they seem fit and then they can fund the federal government directly.

Posted by: scofflaw at July 25, 2015 12:18 PM (8b/pd)
************************
That's the way it was set up under the Articles of Confederation. It didn't work, 'cause it's not unenforceable; the States weren't paying their levies, and there wasn't much the Feds could do about it. That's a big reason why they called the Constitutional Convention in the first place.

Posted by: LCMS Rulz! at July 25, 2015 01:05 PM (PEgKF)

250 I'm not an "adumbrations and penumbrae" man, but a little bit of flexibility is certainly called for.

Until I know I can trust our hypothetical new government, they ain't getting it. I saw what happened before when they had it. No, no, oh hell no.

Posted by: Brother Cavil, by the Pale Moon light at July 25, 2015 01:06 PM (m9V0o)

251 What would you do if you were king?

Cut off your head and then the heads of the rest of you right wing nut jobs.

Posted by: carlito at July 25, 2015 01:07 PM (f/+XK)

252 Always straight to the decapitation, no subtlety.

Posted by: kartoffel at July 25, 2015 01:09 PM (uEmgg)

253 Elected government can't function as an insurance
company. Time preference is too high. Beyond that, I don't trust my
infinitely well-informed fellow citizens to determine what my future
interests might be.

Posted by: kartoffel at July 25, 2015 01:00 PM (uEmgg)
No, but they (assuming they're not total dickheads, a big assumption to be sure) can be trusted to determine what their future interests might be, and their future interests might actually be yours, not theirs after all.
To choose an emotive example, do you support research on, e.g., heart disease? Cancer? Why? Do you have them now? I certainly hope not, but in the future you may, and certainly some of us will.

Companies can't and won't support basic (as opposed to applied) research because they don't know whether it will benefit them, a competitor, or possibly nobody, and arguably pissing money away on a civic service violates their fiduciary responsibility to their shareholders. Individuals generally cannot pony up enough money over a long enough time to make any difference. States are much the same, and all three have the same problem: someone will generally benefit, but it may not be whoever paid. So the strong incentive is to sit on your hands and wait for someone ELSE to pay, which means no one pays, and it doesn't get done.

Posted by: Jay Guevara at July 25, 2015 01:10 PM (oKE6c)

254 Leftists suffer from a severe lack of imagination. Maybe that's where the universalism comes from.

Posted by: kartoffel at July 25, 2015 01:10 PM (uEmgg)

255 What would you do if you were king?

Deport everyone named "carlito."

Posted by: Jay Guevara at July 25, 2015 01:11 PM (oKE6c)

256 In this connection, basic research is much like building highways and protecting the border; in everyone's collective interest, but in no one's individual interest.

Posted by: Jay Guevara at July 25, 2015 12:23 PM (oKE6c)

That's what venture capital firms are for. In his farewell address, Eisenhower warned about the growth of the Federal research grant, and how it would come to eventually replace real science. He proved quite prescient in that.

Posted by: LCMS Rulz! at July 25, 2015 01:13 PM (PEgKF)

257 All jihadi assholes caught in this country or any other are stripped naked, covered in canine and porcine pheromones, then dropped nekkid into a large cage with dogs and hogs, tied face down on the ground to the bars of the cage by wrists and ankles, all on live TV. Take over the airwaves of every Muslim country and make them watch what happens.

The animals will have their way with jihadi Ali for days, he will be drenched in their waste, and they eat him when he eventually starves to death, rendering him unfit on several levels for paradise and those 72 raisins.

We need to have a comeback for the beheading videos and a way to disincentivize jihad against us.

Posted by: Tammy al-Thor at July 25, 2015 01:13 PM (DI417)

258 It didn't work, 'cause it's not unenforceable; the
States weren't paying their levies

Posted by: LCMS Rulz! at July 25, 2015 01:05 PM (PEgKF)

This is exactly what would happen with research subvention. Why should one state pay for research that will benefit all of the states? They won't (if they're sensible).

Posted by: Jay Guevara at July 25, 2015 01:13 PM (oKE6c)

259 209 I lied. Remove pissant laws like the one making it a crime to lie to a federal cop,

Posted by: Christopher Taylor at July 25, 2015 12:42 PM (39g3+)

I say get rid of the idea of a Federal cop altogether. If the Feds need something enforced (under what few rules we're going to leave them) then let them engage the State Marshals.

Posted by: LCMS Rulz! at July 25, 2015 01:15 PM (PEgKF)

260 1. Eliminate withholding, everyone must actually write a check
2. Allow citizen apportioning of their tax dollars to government agencies. Just like we can allocate funds in a retirement account, let me put 25% to navy, 10% to nasa, 5% to highway... etc..
3. Random SSN draw for representation for house, senate and president. Qualifications are the same for owning a gun. Anyone can turn down if drawn. 1 term of each only. All assets frozen and turned over to an independent trust.

Posted by: emporer marshall at July 25, 2015 01:16 PM (RbJbz)

261 Leftists suffer from a severe lack of imagination.
Posted by: kartoffel at July 25, 2015 01:10 PM (uEmgg)

Very true. Something many unhappy people and rigid thinkers have in common.

Posted by: rrpjr at July 25, 2015 01:19 PM (s/yC1)

262 That's what venture capital firms are for. In his
farewell address, Eisenhower warned about the growth of the Federal
research grant, and how it would come to eventually replace real
science. He proved quite prescient in that.

Posted by: LCMS Rulz! at July 25, 2015 01:13 PM (PEgKF)
You don't understand the VC community. At all. VCs support commercialization of applied research, and that very selectively. (I have firsthand experience with this.) If you pitch a basic research business plan to a VC firm, they'll have security throw you out. Actually, you'd never get that far; your initial blurb would line a trash can. VCs generally look for a liquidity event (IPO or acquisition) within 10 years on the outside, and you usually have to make a case that you can get them liquid in five years. (Which practically nobody does, but never mind.)

They do not operate on the generational timescale. Bear in mind that VCs are generally partnerships who are managing money provided by the limited partners (university endowments, pension funds, insurance companies, etc.) looking for dramatic upsides. Piss money away on magic beans and your partners will kick you out on your ass, and if they don't, the limited partners will kick all of the general partners out on their asses.

Posted by: Jay Guevara at July 25, 2015 01:20 PM (oKE6c)

263 One could hardly expect the Founding Fathers to have included an explicit proviso to support mapping the human genome.

The concept of funding scientific research was not alien to men such as Benjamin Franklin. They left that out of the constitution on purpose

Posted by: Christopher Taylor at July 25, 2015 01:20 PM (39g3+)

264 The concept of funding scientific research was not alien to men such as Benjamin Franklin. They left that out of the constitution on purpose
Posted by: Christopher Taylor at July 25, 2015 01:20 PM (39g3+)

No way. Scientific research was only in its infancy in 1789. Hell, oxygen had only been discovered a few years earlier. Scientific research was largely the province of wealthy aristos with time on their hands. There was little or no funding of scientific research by others. "Natural philosophy" was generally a hobby of the gentleman.

But to extend your argument, would you get rid of NASA and the FAA, then? They left those out too.

Posted by: Jay Guevara at July 25, 2015 01:25 PM (oKE6c)

265 To implement elimination of federal agencies, appoint specific people to investigate and prosecute all employees of that agency.

For example, Giuliani to DOJ, Allen West to DOD, Ken Cuccinelli to IRS, etc.

Fuckers need some life sentences.

Posted by: Joanne at July 25, 2015 01:31 PM (indTK)

266 Woah woah woah.

Gentlemen, what's with letting this devolve into a fine discussion at midday on a Saturday?

Please recalibrate.

Posted by: Burn the Witch at July 25, 2015 01:40 PM (xSCb6)

267 Posted by: Jay Guevara at July 25, 2015 12:48 PM (oKE6c)

***************
"Promote the general welfare" is not the same as providing it. Providing it, if there is to be government welfare, is for the States or the Municipalities to do, not the Feds. The States are sovereign entities and they can damn well start acting like it. The involvement of government in the lives of the citizens is a State, not a Federal, responsibility.

Posted by: LCMS Rulz! at July 25, 2015 01:45 PM (ATbhd)

268 I would add operative language in an amendment that explicitly strips citizenship as intended - and include in it; Authoritarian Militarism (such as 1940's Japan), Socialism (national/fascist), Socialism (International/Communist), and Socialism (fabian) as being contrary to liberty forever and those who have advocated for it are to be deported immediately.

No more Commies, no more Maoists, no more KKK or Illinois Nazis. All to be shipped to random areas or just dropped in the ocean.

Posted by: Inspector Cussword at July 25, 2015 11:59 AM (NuQb/)

Add islam to that list, since it's as much a political system as it is a religion. Moreso, really.

Posted by: Alberta Oil Peon at July 25, 2015 01:45 PM (DAtNG)

269 ***"Promote the general welfare" is not the same as providing it."***

I don't think you'll get any argument on the plain language interpretation of that, but the problem is that plain language interpretation is clearly no longer operational.

Posted by: Burn the Witch at July 25, 2015 01:47 PM (xSCb6)

270 On the first day of the reign of Brett, the first of his name, I shall revoke all university degrees awarded from 1980 to the present.

Posted by: Brett at July 25, 2015 01:48 PM (PqVpp)

271 "If someone is here illegally, they get a one way ticket home, no questions asked."

Screw that -- I'd say, turn 'em over to Planned Parenthood to be sold as parts.

Posted by: cthulhu at July 25, 2015 01:53 PM (EzgxV)

272 Posted by: Jay Guevara at July 25, 2015 01:20 PM (oKE6c)

That still doesn't make it a Federal responsibility. How many Federal bucks went into developing fracking? Microchips? Space-X? Moreover, once the perversion of the University system by Federal bucks is ended, and they get back to their real purpose, they can chip in some of their grants and endowments toward real research.

Posted by: LCMS Rulz! at July 25, 2015 01:56 PM (ATbhd)

273 53 >>>What, we're coming up on 50 comments and no one has yet said we should shitcan our UN membership and kick the UN out of the NYC?<<<

That's part of the coronation ceremony. Kill all of the delegates and burn it to the ground.

Posted by: Fritz at July 25, 2015 11:21 AM (UzPAd)

Demo the building while it's in session.

Posted by: cthulhu at July 25, 2015 02:03 PM (EzgxV)

274 To much common sense in one post Weirddave. Lord knows how quickly this country would turn around if we enacted all that you stated. Now, on the 2nd day do you procalim Bacon as the National Food?

Posted by: Scuba Dude at July 25, 2015 02:15 PM (YLciO)

275 Moi? Too much to list. How about these two items of the top of my head:

1) 6
Term limits for Congress. 20 years max House/Senate. If you hit 20 before your Senate term is over, too bad.

Posted by: robschr at July 25, 2015 10:55 AM (Y8Hvr)
>>2 years in jail for every year served in Congress. Automatically.

2) Insider trading. Elected officials must publically annouce all investments/business deals/etc within 24 hours (or 7 days in advance). Let US in on your deals!

Posted by: Tonic Dog at July 25, 2015 02:20 PM (Xhvpw)

276 And, once and for all, appoint Nor Luap as Chairman of the Fed. Just for the fun of it.

Free silver dimes for everyone!

Posted by: Tonic Dog at July 25, 2015 02:21 PM (Xhvpw)

277 53 >>>What, we're coming up on 50 comments and no one has yet said we should shitcan our UN membership and kick the UN out of the NYC?
****************
The UN is not a high priority. They're just a bunch of clerks, anyway, and they should be treated as such. We can get around to defunding / disbanding that happy little coterie on Day 2.

Posted by: LCMS Rulz! at July 25, 2015 02:24 PM (PEgKF)

278 Because the unions also work to keep conditions, equipment, training, compensation, etc, adequate.

Fireman is not a caste. If conditions are not to their liking, they can seek other employment.

Posted by: Grump928(C) at July 25, 2015 02:36 PM (rwI+c)

279 Something akin to this may have been mentioned already, but early on there was mention of "gutting the IRS". My heart went pitty-pat, because my first thought was the ancient Japanese method of testing new Samurai swords. It involved a line of criminals sitting cross legged on a bench and a swordsman doing a horizontal strike just above the pelvis. A sword made by a master could cleanly go through 3.

We have more than a few actual criminals in Federal office and the bureaucracy. They need to become a series of condign and terminal examples for those who would work for the government in the future to ponder as a possible fate if they follow the same path.

The only question is whether it would be "pay per view" or broadcast every night on the educational channel.

Posted by: Subotai Bahadur at July 25, 2015 02:45 PM (PgzJm)

280 Massive legal reform.

Start by codifying (whats correct from current) Common Law, down to the level of specifying the dictionary used. For the "Legem Firma" Common law / precedent will work going forward but as a far lesser standard than the legal code.

Something to check judges from writing law that way.... maybe a case only is valid precedent for x years?

Everything in the legal code going forward must be specific, targeted, and have a defined, legitimate purpose. In any case where an individual has violated the law but in a manner which does not obstruct its purpose they must be found not guilty/liable.

I'll admit I haven't gotten to the specifics of fixing tort and civil law - tempted to just nuke them but I know better.

Posted by: Sweyn at July 25, 2015 02:48 PM (xLxoc)

281 As for the U.N., I would request they impose sanctions on Mexico for their unconscionable invasion of the United States. When the U.N. refuses, I have a justification for a U.S. withdrawal from that organization.

Then I would have Congress declare war on Mexico. We wouldn't have to kill any Mexicans, simply interdict all international remittances and blockade their trade until all their illegals return home.

Posted by: Brett at July 25, 2015 02:50 PM (PqVpp)

282 Also? Sovereign immunity has to go. If you're a police officer, judge, prosecutor, or even general employee of the government, you'd better be sure that you can get 10 out of 12 jurors to believe any action you take to be legit.

Posted by: Sweyn at July 25, 2015 02:56 PM (xLxoc)

283 282
Also? Sovereign immunity has to go. If you're a police officer, judge,
prosecutor, or even general employee of the government, you'd better be
sure that you can get 10 out of 12 jurors to believe any action you take
to be legit.

Posted by: Sweyn at July 25, 2015 02:56 PM (xLxoc)

Jib. Cut. Newsletter.

Posted by: Tonic Dog at July 25, 2015 03:00 PM (Xhvpw)

284 You really should read an old series of books by Piers Anthony, called Bio Of A Space Tyrant. Yes, the translation of the 1970s political situation into outer space is rather transparent, and some of the ideas are extremely libertarian (not conservative), but the final book of the original* series is EXACTLY what you're talking about.

Though, he doesn't abdicate. But I won't post any spoilers here.

(* He wrote another book since the 80s and added it to the end. I have not read that one.)

Posted by: GWB at July 25, 2015 03:02 PM (wrn0T)

285 Like your list though it may be helpful for purposes of promoting peaceful return to governing by the Constitution to string up some of the most egregious national violators of the law and the Constitution.
Or just exile them to Hawaii....Feeling Napoleonic today.

Posted by: Lower Class person whose opinions need to be guided at July 25, 2015 03:12 PM (7GI9v)

286 I'd support King Dave in a heartbeat. However, I would add one more royal decree:

"From this moment forward, no person who is, or has ever been, associated in any way with any of the institutions known collectively as 'the Ivy League' is eligible for any position of trust in the government of the United States."

That alone would clear out 90% of the dead wood in the government. IMHO, the Ivy Leaguers have been screwing things up for quite long enough. Time to give somebody else a shot at it.

Posted by: Brown Line at July 25, 2015 03:19 PM (a5bF3)

287 No need for a fancy wall on the border. $10,000 fine for every illegal alien employed by your company per incident. After the first million go back to their country of origin, the word would spread and 2 guys running drones could monitor the border.

Posted by: Spock at July 25, 2015 03:21 PM (OIRPe)

288 Let me put it this way: If I were made King and could only do "one thing", what would it be?

I'd decrease the power shareholders have over corporate boards and executive officers...

Yawn, right?

Not really. American corporations (not all, but most of the lasting ones) used to be positive contributors to American society - instead of super-leeches.

Back in the 70s, the left drove changes in SEC and tax codes to give more power to shareholders (actually to very large share holders). They did so for two reasons: To empower environmental activist groups and channel the power of public sector union retirement funds to control corporations.

Along the way, they figured out they could not only control corporations, they could manipulate corporations to make s*itload of money.

CALPERS (California Public Employee Retirement System) is one of the largest institutional investment funds on the planet. There are many environmental (and other "cause") funds that have many boards wrapped around their fingers to one degree or another.

This has resulted in a radical distortion of corporate capitalism most notable perhaps in the change from long-term growth views by corporations to the drive to maximize next-quarter profit at all costs.

That effect drives corporations to bed politicians to pass regulations favorable to maximizing short-term returns to please institutional investors who also donate to politicians.

Win-win politicians and big-investors. Lose-lose America.

Posted by: Dean Strong at July 25, 2015 03:21 PM (x18S2)

289 Would it be possible to vote off the New American island a few dogshit places like Chicago that seem, imo, to have NO reason to be part of New America?....having giving us the devil's spawn and some really really bad baseball it would seem instructive to set Chicago adrift from the New American experiment.

Posted by: Lower Class person whose opinions need to be guided at July 25, 2015 03:34 PM (7GI9v)

290 I'd like to see an end to lawfare, where the process is the punishment.

Posted by: vivi at July 25, 2015 03:49 PM (/wu0m)

291 Here is a couple of small, seemingly insignificant, measures I'd take if I Were Dictator
--I would ban all broadcast, cable, cyberspace ads for lawyers and other legal services, especially the ones that state, " you may be entitled to....".
--I would ban all those creepy "ask your doctor" ads for pharmaceuticals of all types from Cialis to Zoloft and everything in between.

If you need a television commercial to tell you that you need a doctor or lawyer, you don't need a doctor or lawyer...

Posted by: JoeF. at July 25, 2015 03:50 PM (dWhxd)

292 And of course, English is the official language of the United States. Period.

Posted by: vivi at July 25, 2015 03:52 PM (/wu0m)

293 A few highlights include-
Term limits for all elected offices and appointed positions. 12 years for legislators, 2 six year terms for Senate and 3 four year terms for HoR. 12 years in judiciary with possibly 18 for SCOTUS. Exec gets either the current two 4 year terms or maybe one 6 year term.
Repeal of all cofiscatory taxation and replacement with the Fair Tax.
Gutting the alphabet soup of federal agencies and severly restricting the mandates of the few that remain. The remnant of the FCC, for example, would be responsible for mundane signal assignments but have authority over content. Homeland Security, DEA, BATF, IRS, EPA, Dept of Education would be disbanded.
There's more but real life beckons, so I must cut this short.

Posted by: Commissar M at July 25, 2015 03:53 PM (KSF9t)

294 Automatic sunset provision on all laws after 5 years... force the fuckers to expend political energy and capital to renew pos legislation

Posted by: Waiting for the rain at July 25, 2015 04:00 PM (284UF)

295 No legislation longer than 100 pages and it must be produced in final form 10 days before voting.

Repeal of the 17th Amendment.

Add 1 Senator to each state by method of random selection. This would make a third of the Senate average joes.

Governments at all levels must abide the lies they write.

Make it illegal to tie new regs to old funding; highway funds, etc.

Posted by: typo dynamofo at July 25, 2015 04:18 PM (i7JE3)

296 I don't smile often, much less laugh, but these comments had me in absolute stitches! I mean tears and snot!!

Thanks, guys!!

(oh, and Fuck. You. "Carlito".)

Posted by: Fuel Filter at July 25, 2015 04:23 PM (nly/4)

297 BTW, Dave, I would make it a moat in-between the fences, and fill it with alligators. (You could relocate all those ones in the NYC sewer system, I'm sure.) Dogs (sadly) can be bribed.

Posted by: GWB at July 25, 2015 04:28 PM (wrn0T)

298 I'm penciling you in on my ballot. What's your last name?

Posted by: kimoloka at July 25, 2015 04:47 PM (Ra8VF)

299 "Move the DI part to private insurance companies and watch fraud drop by 80%".==
COCKSUCKER DAVE.
I guess I'm in that 20%
But I'm sick of getting lumped in w/the other 80%
You're a shit-bag w/a undigested kernel of truth.
Let's see you ride, strapped to a telephone pole, 22' to the ground after a dead tree falls on you.
Then you can call me whatever you like.
I get followed by the workmens comp detectives weekly.
How about I follow you & your family for a while. Dickhead!

Posted by: hutch1200 at July 25, 2015 04:52 PM (Kdd08)

300 Hutch, you're in the wrong forum. Please re-navigate to huffingtonpost.com

Posted by: kimoloka at July 25, 2015 05:00 PM (Ra8VF)

301 kimoloka =blow ME!!!

Posted by: hutch1200 at July 25, 2015 05:04 PM (Kdd08)

302 kimoloka .....Make my spine straight again.
Were you at "ACEAPALOOZA IN BOSTON?
I don't comment here often, but I've seen some of the "Originals" go along w/myself because of assholes like you.
I still have 1 good arm to swing a bag of Dicks at you, and make jerky out of your HOBO ass!.

Posted by: hutch1200 at July 25, 2015 05:11 PM (Kdd08)

303 Lucius Cornelius Sulla Dave

Posted by: The Fucking Truth at July 25, 2015 05:14 PM (LPHFE)

304 Yea Hutch, he's the asshole, ranting and screaming about some tangent to the main post. Yup. It's definitely Kimoloka who is the asshole in this thread.

Posted by: Weirddave at July 25, 2015 05:30 PM (WvS3w)

305 So where's the fucking gun thread, huh?

Posted by: jc at July 25, 2015 05:36 PM (/tRS6)

306 Your "Tangent" DAVEY. Keep chewing those leeches in your cesspool. Just like Gummy bears, No?

Posted by: hutch1200 at July 25, 2015 05:48 PM (Kdd08)

307 Lace wigs for everyone.

Posted by: Old Hob at July 25, 2015 06:03 PM (FFIoe)

308 Hey Hutch, I'd love to blow you, but i left my magnifying glass at home, and don't think i could find it.

Posted by: kimoloka at July 25, 2015 06:41 PM (Ra8VF)

309 Sorry. My bad. I know you're not supposed to encourage them.

Posted by: kimoloka at July 25, 2015 06:43 PM (Ra8VF)

310 Uh, Dave? Could you make a law prohibiting any new surfers? It's already too crowded in the water.

Posted by: kimoloka at July 25, 2015 06:45 PM (Ra8VF)

311 Well, except for Hutch, that is. His thingy is so long, he'd probably trip over it and drown on his first wave.

Posted by: kimoloka at July 25, 2015 06:47 PM (Ra8VF)

312 179
re ...167 repeal the tax code and prohibit the federal government from direct taxation....

This probably can't be done and wouldn't last.

Posted by: deep or at least different thinker at July 25, 2015 12:25 PM
Funny, but it worked for 124 years in our country. It wasn't until progressives got hold of our gov't that we "needed" direct national direct taxation.

Posted by: GWB at July 25, 2015 07:46 PM (wrn0T)

313 I would do much the same as your ideas, except for FairTax instead of Flat tax. Government has no business knowing how much a person earns.

Posted by: JJ at July 25, 2015 08:33 PM (5UORH)

314 How did privatization get to be such a dirty word when it's seriously what we need? We could eliminate $1 trillion a year in federal spending and not hurt anybody.

Posted by: norrin radd, sojourner of the spaceways at July 25, 2015 09:42 PM (FZ1Nt)

315 Annex Mexico, make it a territory. It's economy is already based on repatriated US funds, and 20% of 'their population' already lives in the US. Bite the bullet, take it over. Slaughter the drug lords and their military as an act of war. Take over the drug farms, and use the proceeds toward funding the US government.

Posted by: dustydog at July 25, 2015 11:11 PM (JgGr4)

Processing 0.03, elapsed 0.0395 seconds.
15 queries taking 0.0141 seconds, 324 records returned.
Page size 192 kb.
Powered by Minx 0.8 beta.