aceofspadeshq at gee mail.com
CBD:
cbd at cutjibnewsletter.com
Buck:
buck.throckmorton at protonmail.com
joe mannix:
mannix2024 at proton.me
MisHum:
petmorons at gee mail.com
J.J. Sefton:
sefton at cutjibnewsletter.com
So This Guy... This Guy Isn't My Kind of Guy
Slate looked at the traffic NY Magazine was pulling in with its Cuckold Trolling, and, of course, being Slate -- and therefore click-hungry and shamelessly derivative -- said "Let's think of a story that will bring us some of those Cuckold Revulsion clicks!"
And so that's exactly what they did. They're extremely cynical. And that's the only masculine trait they have.Grillax, Bro I'm a feminist. I'm a dude. And I hate that I love to grill. By Jacob "Chelsea" BroganI might had added something to his name.
I hate how much I love to grill. It's not that I'm inclined to vegetarianism or that I otherwise object to the practice itself. But I'm uncomfortable with the pleasure I take in something so conventionally masculine.He said, waiting for his wife to get back from her date with Paolo. Or I should say: "Date." Whatever you call it when an unemployed Salsasize Instructor has your wife in the back of his Nissan Cube with her legs pinned back behind her head like the ears of a Dirty Bugs Bunny.
Looming over the coals, tongs in hand, I feel estranged from myself, recast in the role of suburban dad.Melvillean, really. Like Ishmael's watery wanderlust. Except, you know. For sissies.
At such moments, I get the sense that I've fallen into a societal trap, one that reaffirms gender roles I've spent years trying to undo. The whole business feels retrograde, a relic of some earlier, less inclusive era. I take food prep a little too seriously, curtly brushing others out of the way when I step up to the kitchen counter. In my online dating days....Wait, online dating? You? Was it really online dating or was it some kind of sordid Cuckold Match message board?
I tried to spin this fault as a feature, describing myself as "a finicky, meticulous cook."You don't take nearly enough opportunities to feminize yourself.
On reflection, I'm probably just kind of a jerk, but when I'm grilling I worry that I've become something even worse. Am I shoving others out of the way because it makes me feel like a man? Have I become some sort of monster?No, you're still a girl. Don't sweat it, Sally. Girls push all the time, especially when it involves cooking, shopping, or having dates behind your back with the hunk who pumps your gas and who looks like a borderline idiot but she just knows he has the soul of a poet.
I did not see that coming. Finally got that MA in American Studies, huh?
Paging through photographs of my years in grad school recently...
... I came across one in which two colleagues and I stand in a semicircle around a kettle grill... This picture captures so much of what delights me about grilling and so much of what embarrasses me about that delight. On the one hand, there's the peculiar alchemy of sun and smoke that makes summer days sprawl. On the other hand, it bears the stain of unintentional masculine cliche.Honestly: Not really. If cooking is the most masculine thing you do, I'd say your fears about being mistaken for a man are, like so much else about you, contrived and histrionic. By the way: Seems pretty clear you think you're hitting it out of the park with these attempted novel-like descriptions. How's that novel coming, Brian? You know, the novel you say you've been working on for three years?
Gathered around the coals with beers slung low, we're all but enacting a myth of the American man, telling a story in postures and poses. No longer mere Ph.D. students, we have become bros.This is the saddest thing I've ever read.
Pretty sure you know the under-bridge places where masculinity itself might be for sale. Okay, I can't take it any longer. Paolo just texted me. He said some American Studies dweeb's wife is just dying for a three-way. I'm not really into that, but Paolo says this woman is so starved for masculine attention, she's like a little suburban sex tiger.
It's not that I think we're doing anything consciously sexist. Friends who were there that day remind me that we were actively making light of cookout customs even as we were participating in them. I suspect that everyone in the photograph identifies as a feminist. Yet the three of us look suspiciously like characters in a commercial, one where masculinity itself seems to be for sale.
Comments
(Jump to bottom of comments)Posted by: Jinx the Cat at July 23, 2015 01:00 PM (l3vZN)
Posted by: El Kabong at July 23, 2015 01:01 PM (75gXb)
Posted by: Anna Puma at July 23, 2015 01:01 PM (z9220)
Posted by: Kate58 at July 23, 2015 01:01 PM (MvtKs)
Posted by: Lea at July 23, 2015 01:01 PM (lIU4e)
Posted by: El Kabong at July 23, 2015 01:03 PM (75gXb)
I just got back from lunch with three female co-workers who were telling me just how much they loved cooking out, grilling, etc. Of course, they could secretly be identifying as men or perhaps they are closet lesbians.
Posted by: bicentennialguy at July 23, 2015 01:03 PM (vg8iE)
Jacob Brogan holds a PhD in English literature from Cornell University where he studied contemporary American fiction and literary theory.
So, he probably also faints a lot from low blood sugar.
Posted by: Laurie David's Cervix at July 23, 2015 01:03 PM (kdS6q)
Shut the fuck up and grill, you pussy.
Posted by: Sponge at July 23, 2015 01:04 PM (F4u7C)
Posted by: Dirty Randy at July 23, 2015 01:06 PM (jjaLl)
Posted by: NotCoach at July 23, 2015 01:07 PM (rsudF)
Posted by: MTF at July 23, 2015 01:07 PM (TxJGV)
Posted by: Count de Monet at July 23, 2015 01:07 PM (JO9+V)
Posted by: Village Idiot's Apprentice at July 23, 2015 01:07 PM (VPLuQ)
You know, this is bordering, by which I mean can't see from here, on the line of being a sexual fetish. Oh oh oh look how feminist I am, I am denouncing all of the masculine things I do oh oh oh look at me.
No, rather not, thank you.
Posted by: alexthechick - Oh please intervene SMOD at July 23, 2015 01:08 PM (mf5HN)
If men can't grill, who the hell is going to kill the spiders?
Posted by: Attila (Pillage Idiot) at July 23, 2015 01:08 PM (XBUdh)
Hey! My sister has a PhD in American Studies, and she's got more testosterone in her pinky than this twink has in his entire body.
Oddly enough, her PhD dissertation was specifically about food culture, and how things have gone from handing recipes down within the family to sharing recipes on YouTube to a worldwide audience.
I bet she could write a whole book about THIS asshole.
Posted by: MWR, Proud Tea(rrorist) Party Assault Hobbit & Vaginassassin, aka Beth at July 23, 2015 01:08 PM (4df7R)
Posted by: Decaf at July 23, 2015 01:08 PM (xm2dE)
Posted by: Anderson Cooper at July 23, 2015 01:08 PM (VcOqI)
Next magnum opus up from Jake; "Oh, how I regret the atavistic maleness of peeing standing up!"
Whatta wuss.
Posted by: Sort-of-Mad Max at July 23, 2015 01:09 PM (DLu2s)
Posted by: Chupacabras at July 23, 2015 01:09 PM (XiVKO)
Posted by: Trump: The Horse that Stalks Like a Man at July 23, 2015 01:09 PM (bGLSw)
Posted by: Eric in Boise at July 23, 2015 01:09 PM (Iy5SM)
So....Trump is threatening a third party run, according to the news.
I guess we should all get used to saying 'President Hillary, and her 57 cats'.
Posted by: Sticky Wicket at July 23, 2015 01:10 PM (0IhFx)
Whoever wrote this article menstruates but does not identify as a woman.
Posted by: blaster at July 23, 2015 01:10 PM (3nTd6)
Overdramatising his rather prosaic existence. Nice try though still no cigar.
Posted by: Decaf at July 23, 2015 01:08 PM (xm2dE)
"Did someone say cigar?"
-Bill Clinton
Posted by: MWR, Proud Tea(rrorist) Party Assault Hobbit & Vaginassassin, aka Beth at July 23, 2015 01:10 PM (4df7R)
Posted by: Count de Monet at July 23, 2015 01:10 PM (JO9+V)
Plus he looks like a chick in that photo anyway.
Posted by: The Great White Scotsman at July 23, 2015 01:10 PM (iONHu)
Posted by: ace at July 23, 2015 01:10 PM (dciA+)
Posted by: Bandersnatch at July 23, 2015 01:10 PM (JtwS4)
Posted by: Village Idiot's Apprentice at July 23, 2015 01:10 PM (VPLuQ)
Posted by: Decaf at July 23, 2015 01:08 PM (xm2dE)
Uh, thanks for the Trigger Warning!! Now I'm panicking about all the places that cis-phallic cigar could be put!
Posted by: Chelsea B. at July 23, 2015 01:11 PM (jjaLl)
Posted by: TallDave at July 23, 2015 01:11 PM (/s1LA)
Posted by: Sort-of-Mad Max at July 23, 2015 01:12 PM (DLu2s)
Posted by: Village Idiot's Apprentice at July 23, 2015 01:12 PM (VPLuQ)
The day is still young.
Posted by: Decaf at July 23, 2015 01:12 PM (xm2dE)
Posted by: brak at July 23, 2015 01:12 PM (Tj+s6)
We had a name for his type: "pussy"
Posted by: Foghorn Leghorn at July 23, 2015 01:12 PM (UhRGU)
Posted by: Daniel Harless at July 23, 2015 01:12 PM (fWAjv)
OT: Repost reply to Duke. To sum up, I'm still skeptical about Trump. Below is what I think many people are starting to realize. If you actually do the research and watch the guy, you are going to be amazed. I have and I was.
Duke:
I was for Cruz. But Cruz can't win. He just can't. The same line of attack was used against Cruz supporters by many here on this blog: "you're like a ron paul fanatic", you're a "hero worshipper".
Excuse me? No, I've logically and coldly analyzed the situation and Cruz is the best one I see. And again, when this blog's proprietor was working for a great guy in Mike Flynn, tell me what politician bucked the establishment and came in to try and help what we all know was an unwinnable goal: Ted fucking Cruz. So maybe you don't like his speaking style or certain positions, but he's one of OURS and we shouldn't treat him like shit just because we may not "like" him.
As for Trump, I'm no hero worshipper, not at all. I've researched all his positions past and present. And as a Cruz-level conservative, I'm ok with him. I have my doubts, who wouldn't, but there is nothing I see that we can't get past or accommodate.
What really sold me is watching his speeches. The guy is fucking brilliant. Watch his Phoenix speech, watch his press conference with victim's families, watch his Arkansas speech.
I mean fuck, watch his interviews. He totally pwned Cooper last night and Anderson left it on the friendliest of terms with him. It's amazing.
He has done a very very good job and has not backed down one iota. That earns my respect, my vote, my loyalty, and the absolute putrid corrupt rotten lying mess that is the GOPe has outed itself, right here, on stage.
I'm still skeptical, but Trump gives me hope. That's something we haven't had in a long, long time.
Posted by: prescient11 at July 23, 2015 01:12 PM (q5APL)
Posted by: Bill H at July 23, 2015 01:12 PM (Baojj)
Some folks just clearly do not have enough to do. I'd share some of my workload with them, but it involves math. Sorry.
Posted by: Moderate Salami, mourning our Republic at July 23, 2015 01:12 PM (/Ho8c)
Posted by: JohnnyBoy at July 23, 2015 01:13 PM (l2Gqi)
Posted by: El Kabong at July 23, 2015 01:13 PM (75gXb)
Posted by: Super Creepy Eric Hoteham at July 23, 2015 01:13 PM (oDCMR)
Posted by: Bevel Lemelisk at July 23, 2015 01:14 PM (shLnc)
Posted by: OurCountryIsScrewed at July 23, 2015 01:14 PM (DlmoZ)
Posted by: buzzion at July 23, 2015 01:14 PM (zt+N6)
Posted by: Vic - Republicans help Obama commit treason at July 23, 2015 01:14 PM (GpgJl)
Posted by: typo dynamofo at July 23, 2015 01:14 PM (i7JE3)
Posted by: RoyalOil at July 23, 2015 01:15 PM (ZvKdv)
Wow. Just wow.
Bet the dude has an ironic, bushy beard and wears flannel shirts w/his skinny jeans, too.
Posted by: Lizzy at July 23, 2015 01:15 PM (NOIQH)
Well of course he is, bless his heart.
Posted by: Count de Monet at July 23, 2015 01:15 PM (JO9+V)
Posted by: AnonymousDrivel at July 23, 2015 01:15 PM (1CroS)
Posted by: Polliwog the 'Ette at July 23, 2015 01:15 PM (GDulk)
Posted by: Bluedog803 at July 23, 2015 01:15 PM (DjcIp)
Posted by: Bill Cosby at July 23, 2015 01:16 PM (DlmoZ)
----
Shut up and make me a sammich
Posted by: RWC - Team BOHICA at July 23, 2015 01:16 PM (fWAjv)
Fuck you, pussy. Any real man would be embarrassed to write an article like that. Put on a dress and call yourself Sally, you useless sack of skin.
Posted by: DangerGirl at July 23, 2015 01:16 PM (Rlakk)
I enjoy cookouts, gloomy masturbation, sexual humiliation by strong women and the men who love them, frequently in the next room, and long walks on the beach.
Posted by: Jacob "Nope, No Testicles" Brogan at July 23, 2015 01:16 PM (RD7QR)
So he's such a cuckold he's enserfed in the friendzone.
Posted by: Bevel Lemelisk at July 23, 2015 01:16 PM (shLnc)
Posted by: eleven at July 23, 2015 01:16 PM (IPzoI)
As a feminist the pleasure I take in squirting jizz on a girl's face just repulses me.
======
As a feminist, when I wipe my dick on the curtains, I know it makes her happy 'cause she likes to clean.
Posted by: RoyalOil at July 23, 2015 01:16 PM (ZvKdv)
Posted by: buzzion at July 23, 2015 01:16 PM (zt+N6)
------------------------------
Hey, Nancy. Your string is hanging out.
Posted by: The Chi at July 23, 2015 01:16 PM (EfRAJ)
Posted by: It's BBQ - not "grill" at July 23, 2015 01:17 PM (9pK6I)
Posted by: Bobby Flay at July 23, 2015 01:18 PM (JO9+V)
Posted by: Decaf at July 23, 2015 01:18 PM (xm2dE)
Posted by: Dirty Randy at July 23, 2015 01:18 PM (jjaLl)
"Dear diary,
Paolo has taken everything. My wife. My food. My clothes. But as I sit here and slowly starve to death at least I have still have my dignity in knowing I did not contribute to the patriarchy. I look around and see these so called men taking what they need to survive, and I stand firm in the face of societal rape! Gia preserve me."
Day three of the apocolypse.
"Dear diary,
I am now someone's bitch. DAMN YOU PATRIARCHY!!"
Posted by: NotCoach at July 23, 2015 01:18 PM (rsudF)
You mean like men who explored, like Lewis and Clark, or who settled the wild west, that needed to cook their meet over an open fire because they didn't have a wife to remodel their kitchen complete w/a commercial six-burner gas oven/stovetop and Sub-Zero fridge?
Posted by: Lizzy at July 23, 2015 01:18 PM (NOIQH)
Posted by: Bluedog803 at July 23, 2015 01:18 PM (DjcIp)
1. Fast
2. No Dishes
3. Heat stays outside
4. Yummy taste
This is why socialism always fails. It completely misses the point of everything in exchange for armed, catty, high-school/hunter-gatherer clique/tribal bartering.
Just fucking stop it already.
Posted by: First-Rate Political Hack at July 23, 2015 01:18 PM (R0UpV)
... this guy identifies as a woman, right?
Posted by: Cave Johnson at July 23, 2015 01:19 PM (2jQGY)
Posted by: Richard Simmons at July 23, 2015 01:19 PM (zF6Iw)
I shoulda spent thirty seconds over Harvard instead.
Posted by: General James Dolittle at July 23, 2015 01:19 PM (DLu2s)
Mostly because he would be the one being grilled.
Posted by: weft cut-loop at July 23, 2015 01:19 PM (VY8H5)
Posted by: MacGruber at July 23, 2015 01:19 PM (kQBSd)
Yeah, baby!
Posted by: Decaf at July 23, 2015 01:18 PM (xm2dE)
I don't like it.
Posted by: Sharif at July 23, 2015 01:19 PM (2Ojst)
Posted by: The Chi at July 23, 2015 01:19 PM (EfRAJ)
Posted by: Baldy at July 23, 2015 01:19 PM (sEXjW)
Posted by: Eisenhorn at July 23, 2015 01:19 PM (CrJzY)
This jackass might want to take another peek inside his shorts and make sure he has twigs and berries.
Early thread leader...
Posted by: Foghorn Leghorn at July 23, 2015 01:19 PM (UhRGU)
Man card. Cough it up. NO ONE stands around my grill but me. You can pass by if you are bringing me a beer. But stand? GTFO.
Posted by: rickb223 at July 23, 2015 01:20 PM (X88sA)
Jacob Brogan is a Future Tense research associate. He is writing a book about the cultural history of lovesickness. Follow him on Twitter.
a pic:
http://tinyurl.com/oqg4cxf
a bowtie? not surprising
Posted by: brak at July 23, 2015 01:20 PM (Tj+s6)
Or am I not thinking clearly today?
Posted by: Chupacabras at July 23, 2015 01:20 PM (XiVKO)
Posted by: ted at July 23, 2015 01:20 PM (j+6Qk)
Is this dweeb, if he's real, comfortable with making his wife/girlfriend wet? Or is that too traditionally masculine for him?
Posted by: Northernlurker at July 23, 2015 01:20 PM (6KXYh)
Posted by: weft cut-loop at July 23, 2015 01:20 PM (VY8H5)
Posted by: C3P0 at July 23, 2015 01:20 PM (ZtFr+)
Posted by: Wolfus Aurelius at July 23, 2015 01:20 PM (QrB1r)
You mean like men who explored, like Lewis and Clark, or who settled the wild west, that needed to cook their meet over an open fire because they didn't have a wife to remodel their kitchen complete w/a commercial six-burner gas oven/stovetop and Sub-Zero fridge?
Posted by: Lizzy at July 23, 2015 01:18 PM (NOIQH)
What's a high- or moderately-slung beer? Unless they are being tossed to someone after taking them out of a cooler, stop slinging your beers after opening them.
Posted by: First-Rate Political Hack at July 23, 2015 01:20 PM (R0UpV)
Posted by: George Foreman at July 23, 2015 01:21 PM (l3vZN)
I disagree. I think America's enemies absolutely LOVE guys like this and encourage more men to pursue this type of lifestyle.
Posted by: El Kabong at July 23, 2015 01:21 PM (75gXb)
Posted by: weft cut-loop at July 23, 2015 01:20 PM (VY8H5)
Which one? The Prancing Unicorn or The Road Warrior?
Posted by: Insomniac at July 23, 2015 01:21 PM (2Ojst)
Posted by: Chi-Town Jerry at July 23, 2015 01:21 PM (so+oy)
Posted by: Ricardo Kill at July 23, 2015 01:21 PM (LA7Cm)
Posted by: Bluedog803 at July 23, 2015 01:18 PM (DjcIp)
And he votes.
This guy is the reason I hate America.
Posted by: Mary Poppins' Practically Perfect Piercing at July 23, 2015 01:21 PM (zF6Iw)
Posted by: Caitlyn Jenner at July 23, 2015 01:21 PM (TxJGV)
I know a lot of guys, many of whom are millennials.
None of them are anywhere near this absurd.
Posted by: mynewhandle at July 23, 2015 01:21 PM (AkOaV)
Posted by: Bluedog803 at July 23, 2015 01:18 PM (DjcIp)
Nah, the cookouts and having fun and enjoying life it why Iran hates America.
This guy is why Iran thinks they can win.
Posted by: buzzion at July 23, 2015 01:21 PM (zt+N6)
Posted by: Bobby Flay at July 23, 2015 01:18 PM (JO9+V)
Put him up against some Grillmasters, we can see if his self-preservation instincts kick in.
Posted by: Bill H at July 23, 2015 01:21 PM (Baojj)
Posted by: BurtTC at July 23, 2015 01:21 PM (TOk1P)
Posted by: TrivialPursuer at July 23, 2015 01:21 PM (kGrdk)
Posted by: EndOfPatience at July 23, 2015 01:21 PM (xvblb)
Posted by: Anderson Cooper at July 23, 2015 01:21 PM (VcOqI)
like
killing her own spiders.
Posted by: rickb223 at July 23, 2015 01:21 PM (X88sA)
You know what's Really Galling?
The unspoken intimation that these leftist male feminists are actually *more masculine* because they embrace femnism and knock masculinity.
See? These are Real Men.
The above is true in Bizarro Land. The more you support hillary clinton for presdent, the more of a man you are. The more cock you put in your mouth? Yep, more masculine!
Posted by: Soothie at July 23, 2015 01:22 PM (fvMOw)
Posted by: eleven at July 23, 2015 01:22 PM (IPzoI)
Posted by: Anderson Cooper at July 23, 2015 01:22 PM (VcOqI)
Posted by: Super Creepy Eric Hoteham at July 23, 2015 01:22 PM (oDCMR)
like
Jacking their dick?
Posted by: Caitlyn Jenner at July 23, 2015 01:22 PM (2Ojst)
Posted by: Hairy Reid at July 23, 2015 01:22 PM (TxJGV)
Posted by: eleven at July 23, 2015 01:23 PM (IPzoI)
Posted by: Smallish Bees at July 23, 2015 01:23 PM (yjhOG)
So, he probably also faints a lot from low blood sugar.
Posted by: Laurie David's Cervix at July 23, 2015 01:03 PM (kdS6q)
Fixed it for you.
Posted by: Alberta Oil Peon at July 23, 2015 01:23 PM (jqGif)
Posted by: gwelf at July 23, 2015 01:23 PM (TJ8HB)
I know a lot of guys, many of whom are millennials.
None of them are anywhere near this absurd.
Posted by: mynewhandle at July 23, 2015 01:21 PM (AkOaV)
This is the kind of roving writer/journalist hipster that caused GamerGate.
Most millennials hate these people.
Posted by: Bevel Lemelisk at July 23, 2015 01:23 PM (shLnc)
Posted by: BurtTC at July 23, 2015 01:23 PM (TOk1P)
Posted by: Buzzsaw at July 23, 2015 01:23 PM (81UWZ)
Posted by: rickb223 at July 23, 2015 01:20 PM (X88sA)
I see it as a space of honor.
For example, at family parties, my girlfriends cousin who I am good friends with is allowed to stand near me (not over the grill, but near the girl) while we drink beers and bullshit and I cook.
In other words, its an honor to be allowed in another mans grill zone without being chased out with snapping tongs.
Posted by: mynewhandle at July 23, 2015 01:24 PM (AkOaV)
Posted by: MacGruber at July 23, 2015 01:24 PM (kQBSd)
Posted by: Smallish Bees at July 23, 2015 01:24 PM (yjhOG)
Posted by: RWC - Team BOHICA at July 23, 2015 01:24 PM (fWAjv)
Posted by: Foghorn Leghorn at July 23, 2015 01:24 PM (UhRGU)
Posted by: Ang Lee at July 23, 2015 01:25 PM (TxJGV)
Posted by: Bluedog803 at July 23, 2015 01:18 PM (DjcIp)
And he votes.
This guy is the reason I hate America.
============
And why I identify as a Texan, not an American.
Posted by: RoyalOil at July 23, 2015 01:25 PM (ZvKdv)
Posted by: EndOfPatience at July 23, 2015 01:21 PM (xvblb)
If this were Cracked, the chances would be good. But this is Slate- they're just too damn self-important to do satire.
Posted by: Bill H at July 23, 2015 01:25 PM (Baojj)
Posted by: Bevel Lemelisk at July 23, 2015 01:23 PM (shLnc)
Seriously.
If anything, I see the opposite. Millennials seem to be rebelling or snapping back against those faggy Gen X'ers and their pillow crying.
Guns, grilling, hunting / camping / whatnot all seem to be making a big comeback.
Posted by: mynewhandle at July 23, 2015 01:25 PM (AkOaV)
Posted by: The Dude at July 23, 2015 01:26 PM (SyKbw)
Posted by: Leo Tolstoy at July 23, 2015 01:26 PM (DLu2s)
Posted by: Dave at Buffalo Roam at July 23, 2015 01:26 PM (yFRl/)
Cracked employs the same type of unfunny self-important hipster as Slate.
Posted by: Bevel Lemelisk at July 23, 2015 01:26 PM (shLnc)
Posted by: Count de Monet at July 23, 2015 01:26 PM (JO9+V)
Posted by: Dack Thrombosis at July 23, 2015 01:26 PM (oFCZn)
Posted by: Jacob "Chelsea" Brogan at July 23, 2015 01:26 PM (TJ8HB)
Posted by: The Producers at July 23, 2015 01:26 PM (UhRGU)
Posted by: troyriser at July 23, 2015 01:27 PM (XHR9b)
http://tinyurl.com/oqg4cxf
a bowtie? not surprising
Posted by: brak at July 23, 2015 01:20 PM (Tj+s6)
That entire get-up screams "my body hasn't known a surge of testosterone since high school."
Posted by: Jacob at July 23, 2015 01:27 PM (RD7QR)
Posted by: Chupacabras at July 23, 2015 01:27 PM (XiVKO)
Posted by: Just Some Guy at July 23, 2015 01:27 PM (vgIRn)
Posted by: DangerGirl at July 23, 2015 01:27 PM (Rlakk)
Posted by: azjaeger at July 23, 2015 01:27 PM (xVtTP)
Posted by: Caitlyn Jenner at July 23, 2015 01:22 PM (2Ojst)
Well not you, Caitman, but I sure think it's cool when REAL women are willing to give it a shot at jacking mine.
Posted by: BurtTC at July 23, 2015 01:27 PM (TOk1P)
Posted by: Tinfoilbaby at July 23, 2015 01:28 PM (Ii765)
I mean it can't be real right?
What's next "I'm a feminist and I can't believe I like poker night."
"I'm a feminist and am ashamed that I like whiskey."
"I'm a feminist and I find my attraction to women disgusting."
Posted by: tsrblke, PhD(c) rogue bioethicst at July 23, 2015 01:28 PM (hhQEJ)
Posted by: Bertram Cabot Jr. at July 23, 2015 01:28 PM (W5DcG)
Yeah....
no.
Posted by: RWC - Team BOHICA at July 23, 2015 01:28 PM (fWAjv)
This guy is why Iran thinks they can win.
Nailed it.
These columns claiming self-hatred is really enlightenment are so depressing.
Posted by: Lizzy at July 23, 2015 01:28 PM (NOIQH)
Posted by: Anderson Cooper at July 23, 2015 01:28 PM (VcOqI)
Posted by: Jebbie Bush at July 23, 2015 01:28 PM (TxJGV)
OK, you have to click through to the article. (I know, I know). First picture only, captioned "the author, grilling".
He's lifting the lid on his Weber (pro tip: if the lid's on you're not grilling; you're roasting, steaming, or at best braising) and revealing something green (unlikely to have been living flesh, unless he's been on a successful alien safari) which is not even on the grill but in a dainty little holder.
And, of course, skinny jeans For The Lose.
Posted by: Bandersnatch at July 23, 2015 01:28 PM (JtwS4)
Yeah, cracked.com has really gone down the shitter these last few years. Unfunny SJW assholes essentially bashing their own audience every week. And then banning them in the comments whenever they complain. I stopped going there a few months ago, it was getting so over the top.
Posted by: El Kabong at July 23, 2015 01:28 PM (75gXb)
Guns, grilling, hunting / camping / whatnot all seem to be making a big comeback.
I wouldn't go that far. Millenials have a strong amoral libertarian streak, but the really dumb ones who believed what their teachers told them are the most hideous SJWs ever created.
Posted by: Bevel Lemelisk at July 23, 2015 01:28 PM (shLnc)
Posted by: BurtTC at July 23, 2015 01:23 PM (TOk1P)
:thinks:
I have a picture from my wedding of me and my friends in grad school with me.
And maybe a few pics with them hanging out at conferences. But hardly "pages"
Posted by: tsrblke, PhD(c) rogue bioethicst at July 23, 2015 01:29 PM (hhQEJ)
Posted by: The 40-Year Old Brogan at July 23, 2015 01:29 PM (R0UpV)
Catherine Zeta Jones' butt going under the laser tripwire in
"Entrapment" on a loop, and flog myself for my reaction, sometimes for
2-3 minutes.
Posted by: Just Some Guy at July 23, 2015 01:27 PM (vgIRn)
Two to three minutes? Well look at you, all masculine and stuff. Who do you think you are... Hercules?
Posted by: BurtTC at July 23, 2015 01:29 PM (TOk1P)
a bowtie? not surprising
Posted by: brak at July 23, 2015 01:20 PM (Tj+s6)
Gawd, what a pussy!
Posted by: Pajama Boi at July 23, 2015 01:29 PM (jqGif)
I see it as a space of honor.
For example, at family parties, my girlfriends cousin who I am good
friends with is allowed to stand near me (not over the grill, but near
the girl) while we drink beers and bullshit and I cook.
In other words, its an honor to be allowed in another mans grill zone without [getting a meat fork stabbed in your chest].
========
FIFY.
My house, my grill.
It may be 100 degrees but, you know what you can do to help? Bring me another fucking beer. Then go back and sit and watch the maestro conduct this symphony of meat, smoke and flame.
Posted by: RoyalOil at July 23, 2015 01:29 PM (ZvKdv)
I'm pretty sure he'll never get pregnant
Posted by: Foghorn Leghorn at July 23, 2015 01:24 PM (UhRGU)
I'm pretty sure his hand falls asleep when he tries to pleasure himself.
Posted by: OurCountryIsScrewed at July 23, 2015 01:29 PM (DlmoZ)
©
Posted by: Soothie at July 23, 2015 01:30 PM (fvMOw)
Really, and I know most of this comes from over-educated nancy-boys, but what the hell is wrong with masculinity? or femininity in women for that matter?
Those were rhetorical questions.
Posted by: Guy Mohawk at July 23, 2015 01:30 PM (ODxAs)
Posted by: The Producers at July 23, 2015 01:30 PM (UhRGU)
Posted by: Anderson Cooper at July 23, 2015 01:30 PM (VcOqI)
Posted by: spd rdr at July 23, 2015 01:30 PM (+fXXA)
Posted by: Adirondack Patriot at July 23, 2015 01:30 PM (NjiZL)
To be fair, grilled asparagus is nice as are grilled peppers.
Great now I want kabobs. (Also I've used those holder things before, usually more trouble than useful. I actually just used mine to grill bacon. First batch went really well, second batch flared up quicker than I expected.
Posted by: tsrblke, PhD(c) rogue bioethicst at July 23, 2015 01:30 PM (hhQEJ)
Posted by: mrp at July 23, 2015 01:30 PM (JBggj)
I have a picture of one of the buildings I went to school in so my wife could see where I was going once a week.
Posted by: Bevel Lemelisk at July 23, 2015 01:31 PM (shLnc)
Posted by: Grump928(C) denounces himself so you don't have to at July 23, 2015 01:31 PM (rwI+c)
Well, I gave it to them for free, but I get to look at it on line all I want to at no extra charge! I'm so happy, I think I might just cry now.....(sobs into blanky)
Posted by: Jacob "Little Missy" Brogan at July 23, 2015 01:31 PM (DLu2s)
I have a picture from my wedding of me and my friends in grad school with me.
And maybe a few pics with them hanging out at conferences. But hardly "pages"
Posted by: tsrblke, PhD(c) rogue bioethicst at July 23, 2015 01:29 PM (hhQEJ)
Exactly. If you are a real student, in a real grad school program, you don't have time to be putting together your scrapbook of experiences.
Posted by: BurtTC at July 23, 2015 01:31 PM (TOk1P)
Posted by: Jake Brogan at July 23, 2015 01:31 PM (W5DcG)
'It was our wedding night. It should have been one of the happiest times of my life. But then it happened. Things took their course, as they say. And I realized, to my horror and disgust, that I had penetrated her! I had invaded her very body! But she had a near-saintly capacity for forgiveness. She held me gently and stroked my hair while I wept bitter tears of shame.
Posted by: RWC - Team BOHICA at July 23, 2015 01:31 PM (fWAjv)
Posted by: Jacob Brogan at July 23, 2015 01:31 PM (TxJGV)
Posted by: Achmed at July 23, 2015 01:32 PM (es0c0)
Posted by: Foghorn Leghorn at July 23, 2015 01:32 PM (UhRGU)
Posted by: rickb223 at July 23, 2015 01:32 PM (X88sA)
Posted by: Mag reader at July 23, 2015 01:32 PM (VcOqI)
Posted by: Super Creepy Eric Hoteham at July 23, 2015 01:32 PM (oDCMR)
I would have thought that all the cocksucking would unaffirmed his gender role to everyone's satisfaction.
Posted by: Grump928(C) denounces himself so you don't have to at July 23, 2015 01:32 PM (rwI+c)
Fun fact: the prenup b/w Michael Douglas and Zeta Jones has a provision on it that places a specific dollar amount every time Douglas gets busted with some side action.
So when Douglas is out at a bar and looking over some broad, he literally can put a dollar figure on how much that piece of ass is going to cost him.
Posted by: prescient11 at July 23, 2015 01:32 PM (q5APL)
Chelsea Brogan puts a tampon in his rectum once a month in support of women across the globe.
Posted by: Soothie at July 23, 2015 01:32 PM (fvMOw)
Posted by: Dave at Buffalo Roam at July 23, 2015 01:32 PM (yFRl/)
these last few years. Unfunny SJW assholes essentially bashing their own
audience every week. And then banning them in the comments whenever
they complain. I stopped going there a few months ago, it was getting so
over the top.
Posted by: El Kabong at July 23, 2015 01:28 PM (75gXb)
============================
Cracked really has gotten worse with all the SJW stuff in the last year. I still go to the main page but find myself clicking on fewer and fewer articles.Though, reading the comments occasionally on the SJW posts can be fun as the commenters really shred the main post.
Posted by: gwelf at July 23, 2015 01:32 PM (TJ8HB)
Posted by: El Kabong at July 23, 2015 01:32 PM (75gXb)
He would soil himself around real men......
Posted by: CharlieBrown'sDildo at July 23, 2015 01:33 PM (k2fxD)
Posted by: Jim in Virginia at July 23, 2015 01:33 PM (niL3p)
Posted by: eleven at July 23, 2015 01:33 PM (IPzoI)
I mean it can't be real right?
I think it's more like signaling what he believes is attractive to women. Like a peacock displaying his feathers to attract a mate.
I'm sure he likes to grill, but knows that in order to appear feminists-friendly he has to make a show of knowing it's a typically male activity, and therefore cis-normative/icky traditional, patriarchal male-adjacent behavior so he must make a show of guilt/un-ease for it. Because this is what he has been programmed to do in order to win approval from the women he's surrounded by (in college through PhD.).
Sad.
Posted by: Lizzy at July 23, 2015 01:33 PM (NOIQH)
Posted by: Grump928(C) denounces himself so you don't have to at July 23, 2015 01:31 PM (rwI+c)
Fixed for extra manliness.
Posted by: Insomniac at July 23, 2015 01:33 PM (2Ojst)
To be fair, grilled asparagus is nice as are grilled peppers.
They both are.
When served alongside something which used to love its mommy and is now bleeding meat juice profusely.
Posted by: Bandersnatch at July 23, 2015 01:34 PM (JtwS4)
============================
Cracked really has gotten worse with all the SJW stuff in the last year. I still go to the main page but find myself clicking on fewer and fewer articles.Though, reading the comments occasionally on the SJW posts can be fun as the commenters really shred the main post.
Posted by: gwelf at July 23, 2015 01:32 PM (TJ8HB)
Cracked.com has sucked ever since they tried to organize a boycott of Orson Scott Card over gay marriage.
Posted by: Bevel Lemelisk at July 23, 2015 01:34 PM (shLnc)
Posted by: Bevel Lemelisk at July 23, 2015 01:28 PM (shLnc)
amoral libertarian streak?
Heh.
I guess i should specify that I'm a millennial. Well, on the upper end of millennial, but I'll take it.
And I guess I have an amoral libertarian streak.
Posted by: mynewhandle at July 23, 2015 01:34 PM (AkOaV)
Comment over there...
'It was our wedding night. It should have been one of the
happiest times of my life. But then it happened. Things took their
course, as they say. And I realized, to my horror and disgust, that I
had penetrated her! I had invaded her very body! But she had a
near-saintly capacity for forgiveness. She held me gently and stroked
my hair while I wept bitter tears of shame.
Posted by: RWC - Team BOHICA at July 23, 2015 01:31 PM (fWAjv)
===================
That's either some very fine trolling or....these people are really damaged.
Posted by: gwelf at July 23, 2015 01:34 PM (TJ8HB)
Posted by: Ace
I saw Little Suburban Sex Tiger open for Anyone But Her Husband.
Posted by: Turd Ferguson at July 23, 2015 01:34 PM (VAsIq)
FTFY
Posted by: Grump928(C) denounces himself so you don't have to at July 23, 2015 01:34 PM (rwI+c)
Posted by: Mag reader at July 23, 2015 01:34 PM (VcOqI)
After they gave Zoe Quinn a forum to lie her ass off and shill her patreon account, I knew it was over.
Posted by: El Kabong at July 23, 2015 01:34 PM (75gXb)
Posted by: eleven at July 23, 2015 01:33 PM (IPzoI)
And if the guy next to him takes his meat, he stabs him the neck and throws him on the fire!
Posted by: Insomniac at July 23, 2015 01:34 PM (2Ojst)
This guy tucks it under in front of the mirror, no doubt about it
Posted by: The Fucking Truth at July 23, 2015 01:35 PM (LPHFE)
We're all so fucking OLD here...this ponce is "paging" through iPhone photos.
Posted by: HR braucht ein Bier at July 23, 2015 01:35 PM (/kI1Q)
What the fuck does that even mean?
Beers slung low?
Does he mean that he and his boy friends are holding their light beers at testicle level to increase the testicularocity of the moment?
Does he mean that he and his boy friends wear little beer purses in which they put their beers, then-
wear their beer purses slung low so that they ride on their hips?
Pitiful overwriting writer has overwritten pitifully.
Posted by: naturalfake at July 23, 2015 01:35 PM (0cMkb)
And ask Bannion, I'm not even in a real program!
(A group of us were pretty good friends and would even go out to dinner about once a month, but no one really brought cameras, I mean FFS. And those pics at the conference was because it was DC so I went down early to hit up the Smithsonian.)
Posted by: tsrblke, PhD(c) rogue bioethicst at July 23, 2015 01:35 PM (hhQEJ)
They both are.
When served alongside something which used to love its mommy and is now bleeding meat juice profusely.
Posted by: Bandersnatch at July 23, 2015 01:34 PM (JtwS4)
Yeah, I grill vegetables, too.
Nothing wrong with that.
But it's a side. I don't think I've ever fired up the grill just for vegetables.
Posted by: mynewhandle at July 23, 2015 01:35 PM (AkOaV)
Posted by: Bandersnatch at July 23, 2015 01:35 PM (JtwS4)
It may be 100 degrees but, you know what you can do to help? Bring me another fucking beer. Then go back and sit and watch the maestro conduct this symphony of meat, smoke and flame.
Posted by: RoyalOil
------------------------------
Well, if you were cool, you'd pop the hood on the family sedan so the rest of us guys could stand around in the driveway with our beers and have a REAL conversation...
Posted by: The Chi at July 23, 2015 01:35 PM (EfRAJ)
Posted by: Bevel Lemelisk at July 23, 2015 01:34 PM (shLnc)
===================================
True
Posted by: gwelf at July 23, 2015 01:35 PM (TJ8HB)
some broad, he literally can put a dollar figure on how much that piece
of ass is going to cost him.
Posted by: prescient11 at July 23, 2015 01:32 PM (q5APL)
Yeah, and a real man writes down that figure so he knows how much to tell the accountant to write the check for.
Posted by: BurtTC at July 23, 2015 01:35 PM (TOk1P)
It's a candy mint AND a breath mint.
Posted by: Bertram Cabot Jr. at July 23, 2015 01:35 PM (W5DcG)
------
Dear Washington Blade,
Posted by: RWC - Team BOHICA at July 23, 2015 01:35 PM (fWAjv)
Ever see scenes in Sons of Anarchy where some pussy whipped douchecanoe comes across one of the biker in a way that annoys him, and then has his bloodied ass handed to him along with his dislocated bones? Like that.
Posted by: My Grill is Bigger than Yours at July 23, 2015 01:35 PM (rTG3v)
Pansy! REAL men hold chunks of meat in their teeth and singe it with their MAPP gas torch!
Posted by: Sort-of-Mad Max at July 23, 2015 01:36 PM (DLu2s)
He is a successful barista and lives in his mom's basement with his three cats.
We're not bullying, are we? I certainly don't want to commit any micro aggressions .
Posted by: Jim in Virginia at July 23, 2015 01:36 PM (niL3p)
Posted by: wrg500 at July 23, 2015 01:36 PM (sWgE+)
Posted by: Hank Hill at July 23, 2015 01:36 PM (JO9+V)
Jacob Brogan, Grad, English Photo:
Fun fact: Im working on an essay about how the current raw denim craze is a reflection of a cultural fantasy about romanticized Americana
http://tinyurl.com/ptl2lal
So, that scarf is like, what, 15 or 20 feet long, right?
Also, pensive pose.
Posted by: Laurie David's Cervix at July 23, 2015 01:36 PM (kdS6q)
Posted by: Foghorn Leghorn at July 23, 2015 01:36 PM (UhRGU)
Posted by: Bandersnatch at July 23, 2015 01:34 PM (JtwS4)
Go sit down with the women and watch a real man grill.
Meat (especially red meat) has to rest before you eat it. If it's gushing meat juice then you are doing it wrong.
Posted by: CharlieBrown'sDildo at July 23, 2015 01:36 PM (k2fxD)
Posted by: CharlieBrown'sDildo at July 23, 2015 01:33 PM (k2fxD)
One evening at Deer camp and he'd run screaming for the road.
Seriously: Grilling is probably the least manly part of deer camp!
Posted by: tsrblke, PhD(c) rogue bioethicst at July 23, 2015 01:36 PM (hhQEJ)
Posted by: grandmalcaesar at July 23, 2015 01:37 PM (CmAdp)
After a beer he says, " I have to go pee" to his grill mates.
Posted by: The Fucking Truth at July 23, 2015 01:37 PM (LPHFE)
Posted by: gwelf at July 23, 2015 01:34 PM (TJ8HB)
Fine trolling. They were making fun of Caitlyn.
Posted by: RWC - Team BOHICA at July 23, 2015 01:37 PM (fWAjv)
Posted by: Dack Thrombosis at July 23, 2015 01:37 PM (oFCZn)
Posted by: Grump928(C)
Fixed for extra manliness.
Posted by: Insomniac
Golf Clap.
Posted by: rickb223 at July 23, 2015 01:37 PM (X88sA)
And I guess I have an amoral libertarian streak.
I'm a millenial, also. Same deal.
Posted by: Bevel Lemelisk at July 23, 2015 01:37 PM (shLnc)
women. Like a peacock displaying his feathers to attract a mate.
My understanding is real women prefer nibbling on salad to pounding down bratwurst, so you may be on to something. *srednop*
Posted by: HR braucht ein Bier at July 23, 2015 01:37 PM (/kI1Q)
Is this for real?
...
i know it is standard practice to pitch, and write, contrived and therefore false stories, in hopes of outrage clicks.
the Daily Mail does this all the time. It's a big traffic thing, and I can easily see US webzines doing it too.
For a writer, hey, it's just a check -- fiction like any other.
Posted by: ace at July 23, 2015 01:38 PM (dciA+)
I brought up how horrendously the left had treated Malkin in the comments. The lefties had no idea what I was talking about.
And the next week the photoshop contest featured several submissions depicting Michelle Bachman sucking a cock.
Posted by: gwelf at July 23, 2015 01:38 PM (TJ8HB)
Posted by: DanInMN at July 23, 2015 01:38 PM (XqeyF)
Posted by: fly gal at July 23, 2015 01:38 PM (8TdcF)
Which would I suppose be a decent excuse for why the veggies are on the grill by themselves.
For a normal guy.
Posted by: tsrblke, PhD(c) rogue bioethicst at July 23, 2015 01:38 PM (hhQEJ)
usually more trouble than useful. I actually just used mine to grill
bacon. First batch went really well, second batch flared up quicker
than I expected.
=======
The holder thing doesn't work. Usually not high enough and wastes too much grill space.
You put them all close together, use the tongs to lift each stick and set it half on top of the nearest kabob. Let it roll down to turn. Easy.
Lately, I've been using wood charcoal rather than the coal-wood charcoal. Burns hotter and is cheaper.
Posted by: RoyalOil at July 23, 2015 01:38 PM (ZvKdv)
Are you talking about lesbians here, or...?
Posted by: Insomniac at July 23, 2015 01:38 PM (2Ojst)
Everything else in the article is bullshit but this is not entirely wrong.
Posted by: the real ch3 at July 23, 2015 01:38 PM (IG5KL)
If I were to have a full-frontal lobotomy, the piece of my brain that they take out could get a PhD in English literature from Cornell University studying contemporary American fiction and literary theory.
Posted by: AmishDude at July 23, 2015 01:39 PM (b65cm)
Jacob Brogan, Grad, English Photo:
Fun fact: Im working on an essay about how the current raw denim craze is a reflection of a cultural fantasy about romanticized Americana
http://tinyurl.com/ptl2lal
So, that scarf is like, what, 15 or 20 feet long, right?
Also, pensive pose.
Posted by: Laurie David's Cervix at July 23, 2015 01:36 PM (kdS6q)
What a pussy.
Posted by: Pajama Boy at July 23, 2015 01:39 PM (shLnc)
Posted by: Paolo at July 23, 2015 01:39 PM (75gXb)
Posted by: Zombie Frank Sinatra at July 23, 2015 01:39 PM (rwI+c)
Feminist boi who loves to suck on cigars. With graphic descriptions of what ought to be just a cigar.
Posted by: Bigby's ASL at July 23, 2015 01:39 PM (3ZtZW)
Chelsea Brogan supports feminism so vigorously he sits down to urinate because standing is so typcally male it sickens him and insults women the world over.
Posted by: Soothie at July 23, 2015 01:39 PM (fvMOw)
@Jacob_Brogan I'm actually seriously considering adding a honesuki for adventures in boning chicken.
Posted by: Foghorn Leghorn at July 23, 2015 01:39 PM (UhRGU)
Pansy! REAL men hold chunks of meat in their teeth and singe it with their MAPP gas torch!
Posted by: Sort-of-Mad Max
Fruitcake!
Real men stalk, kill, and gut a lion. They then crawl into the lion meat-suit only to stalk, kill, other animals that are roasted over an exposed coal seam on fire.
Posted by: weft cut-loop at July 23, 2015 01:39 PM (VY8H5)
The dude's knife skills are legendary.
Posted by: CharlieBrown'sDildo at July 23, 2015 01:39 PM (k2fxD)
That has to be the case.
Posted by: OregonMuse at July 23, 2015 01:40 PM (/LM8/)
Posted by: dude guy at July 23, 2015 01:40 PM (q177U)
So, pink shirt, bow tie, corduroy top and bottom:
www.catherinekchen.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/09/BRR1-2.jpg
"Quick Henry, the Flit!"
Posted by: Laurie David's Cervix at July 23, 2015 01:40 PM (kdS6q)
Posted by: Jacob Brogan at July 23, 2015 01:40 PM (OD2ni)
Posted by: This guy's Boomhauer at July 23, 2015 01:40 PM (vgIRn)
Chelsea Brogan makes a point of peeing a little every time he laughs because, yeah, feminism solidarity.
Posted by: Soothie at July 23, 2015 01:40 PM (fvMOw)
Posted by: Humongous Ears at July 23, 2015 01:40 PM (7wyDO)
What the fuck does that even mean?
Beers slung low?
Does he mean that he and his boy friends are holding their light beers at testicle level to increase the testicularocity of the moment?
...
very good question. I think he means the latter, and he his trying to parrot the idea of "Guns slung low," like the beers are their "guns," except you can't sling a beer like a gun, as there's no such thing as a beer holster.
Though, you know: Admittedly, perhaps there *should* be.
Posted by: ace at July 23, 2015 01:41 PM (dciA+)
Real men "fire up" the grill with flint & steel.
Posted by: rickb223 at July 23, 2015 01:41 PM (X88sA)
Posted by: Lindsay Graham at July 23, 2015 01:41 PM (shLnc)
Posted by: dude guy at July 23, 2015 01:40 PM (q177U)
Indeed. The closest I've ever come to a Zen-like state is staring into a low-burning campfire.
Posted by: Insomniac at July 23, 2015 01:41 PM (2Ojst)
That has to be the case.
...
well you know my theory: Slate has been doing this for years and years, and in fact it's pretty much their business model.
Still, this writer felt comfortable attaching his real name to this.
Posted by: ace at July 23, 2015 01:42 PM (dciA+)
There's a word the Germans have that basically means:
a fellow who should only be around an outdoor grill for the purpose of slamming his face onto the grate over flaming hot coals and dousing his head in BBQ sauce while his face crackles and crisps then later slicing off his cheeks and making sandwiches out of them to be served with large flagons of lager
But, it's a pretty long word and I can't remember it right now.
Posted by: naturalfake at July 23, 2015 01:42 PM (0cMkb)
Posted by: The Fucking Truth at July 23, 2015 01:37 PM
FIFY
Posted by: AltonJackson at July 23, 2015 01:42 PM (ZQfW9)
Infidel, if you're lurking, I have emailed you. Please check your spam folder.
Your regular programming will now resume.
Posted by: Mindy at July 23, 2015 01:42 PM (8s/Ln)
Real men stalk, kill, and gut a lion. They then crawl into the lion meat-suit only to stalk, kill, other animals that are roasted over an exposed coal seam on fire.
Posted by: weft cut-loop at July 23, 2015 01:39 PM (VY8H5)
You're all a bunch of girly-men.
Real men nuke animals from orbit. It's the only way to be sure.
Posted by: OregonMuse at July 23, 2015 01:42 PM (/LM8/)
Meat (especially red meat) has to rest before you eat it. If it's gushing meat juice then you are doing it wrong.
*steak forks at 5 paces!*
I'm talking about the cooking thereof. You let the juice come to the surface, turn the meat one time only, Vassily, and come to the other surface.
Posted by: Bandersnatch at July 23, 2015 01:42 PM (JtwS4)
Actually when I go to beer festivals I have seen both beer holsters and beer holders worn around the neck.
Posted by: tsrblke, PhD(c) rogue bioethicst at July 23, 2015 01:42 PM (hhQEJ)
Confusion ensued.
Posted by: Sort-of-Mad Max at July 23, 2015 01:42 PM (DLu2s)
Posted by: Anthony Weiner at July 23, 2015 01:42 PM (VAsIq)
Posted by: Lyle at July 23, 2015 01:42 PM (JO9+V)
I'm talking about dinner.
Used to tailgate with cow-orkers up in Milwaukee. The women would all simper around the veggie tray. We men would be eating brats. The best tailgate of all was the day we ended up with all the Racing Sausages except Chorizo; guy who was supposed to bring Chorizo pussed out and brought salad.
Posted by: HR braucht ein Bier at July 23, 2015 01:43 PM (/kI1Q)
I thought he was grilling the beers to make them warm and therefore European and therefore sophisticated.
Posted by: Bevel Lemelisk at July 23, 2015 01:43 PM (shLnc)
Posted by: Dave at Buffalo Roam at July 23, 2015 01:43 PM (yFRl/)
Problem solved
Posted by: Ken in NH at July 23, 2015 01:43 PM (MqjGP)
Posted by: Plastic Sturgeon at July 23, 2015 01:43 PM (/WmRg)
What the fuck does that even mean?
Beers slung low?
Does he mean that he and his boy friends are holding their light beers at testicle level to increase the testicularocity of the moment?
...
very good question. I think he means the latter, and he his trying to parrot the idea of "Guns slung low," like the beers are their "guns," except you can't sling a beer like a gun, as there's no such thing as a beer holster.
Though, you know: Admittedly, perhaps there *should* be.
Posted by: ace at July 23, 2015 01:41 PM (dciA+)
There is. It's a hat so your hands are free to properly grill.
Posted by: Buzzion at July 23, 2015 01:44 PM (hqy5d)
Though, you know: Admittedly, perhaps there *should* be.
Posted by: ace at July 23, 2015 01:41 PM (dciA+)
********
You are wrong. Remember those Helmets that had 2 Beer Can Holders on the sides with straws provided for sipping? Like that
Posted by: Truck Monkey is a Mime..... Serious at July 23, 2015 01:44 PM (fLKzW)
Dude. There is everything. http://tinyurl.com/pmegrur
Posted by: Zombie Frank Sinatra at July 23, 2015 01:44 PM (rwI+c)
Every guy that ever described himself as a "feminist", even if really drunk and trying to get into some chicks pants, should be punched in the face.
You're a male! With male parts and the freaking Y chromosome!
You're not super sensitive and down with womyns!
You are a douchebag of the first order and you should STFDASTFU!
Posted by: Suppressed Flasher at July 23, 2015 01:44 PM (X+nFp)
Posted by: Grump928(C) at July 23, 2015 01:44 PM (rwI+c)
Those pictures are a trip. It looks like shish kebobs maybe? With Chicken (I hope). Meh.
Posted by: Lea at July 23, 2015 01:44 PM (lIU4e)
Posted by: wrg500 at July 23, 2015 01:45 PM (sWgE+)
You need to get out more. The same holster that holds a Ruger Vaquero, will hold beer.
Posted by: rickb223 at July 23, 2015 01:45 PM (X88sA)
Posted by: Obama's Dog at July 23, 2015 01:45 PM (aUQgu)
With the empty eyesocket of your enemy peering back from the coals.
Posted by: Grump928(C) at July 23, 2015 01:46 PM (rwI+c)
Someone explain the Paulo joke to those of us who missed it?
Posted by: rebel flounder at July 23, 2015 01:46 PM (Vf5rR)
Posted by: The Fucking Truth at July 23, 2015 01:37 PM
FIFY
Posted by: AltonJackson at July 23, 2015 01:42 PM (ZQfW9)
********
And then he grabs his Man Satchel and asks who wants to go with him
Posted by: Morgan Freeman at July 23, 2015 01:46 PM (fLKzW)
Posted by: HR braucht ein Bier at July 23, 2015 01:46 PM (/kI1Q)
Posted by: eleven at July 23, 2015 01:46 PM (IPzoI)
Posted by: CharlieBrown'sDildo at July 23, 2015 01:36 PM (k2fxD)
Yeah, 5 minutes under aluminum foil makes a big difference.
Posted by: mynewhandle at July 23, 2015 01:46 PM (AkOaV)
Fun fact: I'm working on an essay about how the current raw denim craze is a reflection of a cultural fantasy about romanticized Americana
OMG, just come out already!
He's really into romanticized Americana, huh?
Wearing Levis and grilling doesn't make you a manly man anymore than wearing "low-slung" oversized jeans, gold chains and wonky baseball hat makes you a hip-hop artist.
Posted by: Lizzy at July 23, 2015 01:47 PM (NOIQH)
I think that's partially correct. I think their liberal articles are for their liberal audience, and those are pretty much legit, but then they put out this crap to troll conservatives to their site so we can be all outraged, but by that time, Slate has the click traffic.
Posted by: OregonMuse at July 23, 2015 01:47 PM (/LM8/)
if only because there isn't always somebody around to hold your beer. This is also why Go Pros exist.
Posted by: Bigby's ASL at July 23, 2015 01:47 PM (3ZtZW)
Posted by: Mag reader at July 23, 2015 01:47 PM (VcOqI)
Posted by: Seinfeld at July 23, 2015 01:47 PM (JO9+V)
You see a lot of this exact shit going on with the SJW and GamerGate stuff. Internet White Knights. Beta Males rushing to the aid of beleaguered feminists...because...patriarchy? No, pussy. They think they'll get some lovin' or at least a kind word from the harpy they're defending.
Posted by: El Kabong at July 23, 2015 01:47 PM (75gXb)
as there's no such thing as a beer holster
Dude. There is everything. http://tinyurl.com/pmegrur
Posted by: Zombie Frank Sinatra at July 23, 2015 01:44 PM (rwI+c)
I dig the beer bandolier. Even has a nice ring to it for the fancy types.
Posted by: rebel flounder at July 23, 2015 01:47 PM (Vf5rR)
Posted by: Mindy at July 23, 2015 01:47 PM (8s/Ln)
Posted by: RoyalOil at July 23, 2015 01:47 PM (ZvKdv)
right?
Posted by: eleven at July 23, 2015 01:46 PM (IPzoI)
already exists.
I have insulated beer holders on my framing belt. I'm not a carpenter anymore, but sometimes I just wear the belt, sans tools when I need some extra beer carrying capacity.
Posted by: mynewhandle at July 23, 2015 01:47 PM (AkOaV)
OFFS:
It starts with this: Shortly after I met Catherine, a rash appeared on my lower back. I had been wandering through the woods of my childhood that morning, reminding myself of its sacred spaces, the cave, the broken dam, the spring. It occurred to me that I could have brushed up against poison ivy, but how would it have touched my lower back alone? A single swath just above my right iliac crest, it resembled a crudely charted island on an otherwise unmapped sea.
Passing through Pittsburgh on my way back to Catherine, I showed my flushed, rough skin to Celeste who nonchalantly diagnosed me with shingles. What triggers shingles, I asked the Internet, embarrassed by my ignorance. Excess cortisol, probably. And what produces excess cortisol? Lots of things, it turned out, but one caught my eye: Falling in love. And I was.
Posted by: Laurie David's Cervix at July 23, 2015 01:48 PM (kdS6q)
Posted by: rickl at July 23, 2015 01:48 PM (zoehZ)
Someone explain the Paulo joke to those of us who missed it?
Posted by: rebel flounder at July 23, 2015 01:46 PM (Vf5rR)
There was an article by a male feminist in an open relationship about his wife coming home from a date with 'Paolo', a man she fucked, and how he felt no anger or jealousy because he realized those were sexist and shameful emotions.
Posted by: Bevel Lemelisk at July 23, 2015 01:48 PM (shLnc)
Posted by: Roy at July 23, 2015 01:48 PM (VndSC)
Posted by: RedMindBlueState at July 23, 2015 01:48 PM (QiBX8)
Posted by: AllenG (DedicatedTenther) - Not dead yet at July 23, 2015 01:48 PM (kff5f)
Posted by: Cruzinator at July 23, 2015 01:48 PM (N4pek)
This calls for a drive-by trolling.
HEY LOSER DUDE!! YOU STILL SAD ABOUT THOSE WEDGIES IN JUNIOR HIGH?!? LOSER!! HEY CHELSEA, DO YOU STILL GO DOWN ON FRAT BOYS?!! I BET YOUR FEMINAZI GIRLFRIEND WHO OWNS YOUR BALLS WROTE THIS ARTICLE!! HEY LOSER-LOSER!!
Posted by: exdem13 at July 23, 2015 01:49 PM (ry4ab)
Someone explain the Paulo joke to those of us who missed it?
Paolo. That makes it Italian not Brazilian and I'm a dick about that.
Cuckhold thread. Some Nancy-boy wrote a thing about why he was cool with his wife screwing around on him.
Posted by: Bandersnatch at July 23, 2015 01:49 PM (JtwS4)
Posted by: D the J at July 23, 2015 01:49 PM (eR5v5)
Posted by: AllenG (DedicatedTenther) - Not dead yet at July 23, 2015 01:49 PM (kff5f)
Posted by: jack burton at July 23, 2015 01:49 PM (20XS1)
Posted by: Bruce With a Wang! at July 23, 2015 01:49 PM (iQIUe)
Posted by: Paolo at July 23, 2015 01:49 PM (75gXb)
Posted by: REAL real men at July 23, 2015 01:49 PM (VAsIq)
Posted by: Mrs. Brogan at July 23, 2015 01:49 PM (5fSr7)
Posted by: AllenG (DedicatedTenther) - Not dead yet at July 23, 2015 01:49 PM (kff5f)
Chelsea Brogan is such a feminist, he works for Slate at only 77% of the full rate.
Posted by: Soothie at July 23, 2015 01:49 PM (fvMOw)
Posted by: Buzzion at July 23, 2015 01:49 PM (hqy5d)
Posted by: Colorado Alex at July 23, 2015 01:49 PM (OiH3z)
It starts with this: Shortly after I met Catherine, a rash appeared on my lower back. I had been wandering through the woods of my childhood that morning, reminding myself of its sacred spaces, the cave, the broken dam, the spring. It occurred to me that I could have brushed up against poison ivy, but how would it have touched my lower back alone? A single swath just above my right iliac crest, it resembled a crudely charted island on an otherwise unmapped sea.
Passing through Pittsburgh on my way back to Catherine, I showed my flushed, rough skin to Celeste who nonchalantly diagnosed me with shingles. What triggers shingles, I asked the Internet, embarrassed by my ignorance. Excess cortisol, probably. And what produces excess cortisol? Lots of things, it turned out, but one caught my eye: Falling in love. And I was.
...
what is this foulness you have posted on my blog?!!?!
Posted by: ace at July 23, 2015 01:49 PM (dciA+)
Archive.today - Let the world know what retards they are without a single click of revenue.
Posted by: Bevel Lemelisk at July 23, 2015 01:49 PM (shLnc)
Posted by: Village Idiot's Apprentice at July 23, 2015 01:49 PM (VPLuQ)
Posted by: HR braucht ein Bier at July 23, 2015 01:50 PM (/kI1Q)
Rocks pulled from the blazing fire ring at one pace.....
Speaking of fire rings....a buddy of mine had his wedding and reception on his property outside of Jacksonville.
He has three fire rings (yup there is some near-existential envy right there), and 90% of the men at the party spent most of their time walking between the beer fridge, the fire ring, and the pile of seasoned wood.
Posted by: CharlieBrown'sDildo at July 23, 2015 01:50 PM (k2fxD)
Posted by: AllenG (DedicatedTenther) - Not dead yet at July 23, 2015 01:50 PM (kff5f)
As my two friends and I work at skinning out the hanging deer carcass, occasionally taking a swig of beer, I ponder the caricature of maleness in which we are falsely engaged.
Soon we will begin with the butchering process, all of the time secretly wishing that the screaming, suffering, metrosexual within could escape to a spa, where, rather than with blood, we would anointed with avocado/cucumber balms.
Posted by: Mike Hammer, etc., etc. at July 23, 2015 01:50 PM (9mTYi)
Posted by: Mikey NTH - Quality Paper and Inks for Your Enemies List at The Outrage Outlet! at July 23, 2015 01:50 PM (hLRSq)
Posted by: Bruce With a Wang!
-------------------------
Grilling vegetables while sucking down cock isn't, however.
Posted by: Roy at July 23, 2015 01:50 PM (VndSC)
I was minding my own business, grilling tofurgers and holding a beer slung low when my friend Brad showed up. You'll never believe what happened next...
Jacob
Posted by: DangerGirl at July 23, 2015 01:50 PM (Rlakk)
Posted by: Garrett at July 23, 2015 01:50 PM (dlJT5)
Posted by: Apple at July 23, 2015 01:51 PM (kff5f)
Posted by: Bruce With a Wang! at July 23, 2015 01:51 PM (iQIUe)
Posted by: Sharkman at July 23, 2015 01:51 PM (72D6h)
what is this foulness you have posted on my blog?!!?!
Posted by: ace
www.jacobbrogan.com/blog/2014/9/10/survival-iv-love-sick
Posted by: Laurie David's Cervix at July 23, 2015 01:51 PM (kdS6q)
maybe
Posted by: burp at July 23, 2015 01:51 PM (es0c0)
Posted by: weft cut-loop at July 23, 2015 01:51 PM (VY8H5)
Posted by: Count de Monet at July 23, 2015 01:52 PM (JO9+V)
Posted by: KGB at July 23, 2015 01:52 PM (AJj50)
Posted by: Satan at July 23, 2015 01:52 PM (shLnc)
Posted by: Bigby's ASL at July 23, 2015 01:52 PM (3ZtZW)
Posted by: rebel flounder at July 23, 2015 01:52 PM (Vf5rR)
Posted by: Bruce With a Wang! at July 23, 2015 01:52 PM (iQIUe)
I heard Bloom County is coming back, but isn't it a bit early to be transreversing people's brains?
-----------
It won't last long. The strip in its heyday and into the Outland years had no trouble goofing on the Left for its insecurities and thought police moments as well as goofing on the Right. The short-lived Opus strip showed how out of touch with the new Left Breathed had become. The SJW crowd that was watching Teletubbies while Opus, Bill, Mortimer, and the pig were sitting on the couch in their underwear would turn on him in an instant, and like a lot of Lefties of a Certain Age he'd be left stunned roadkill wondering what he did wrong.
Posted by: exdem13 at July 23, 2015 01:53 PM (ry4ab)
I have used a .22lr blank to start a campfire before.
Why? Because I could.
Posted by: rickb223 at July 23, 2015 01:53 PM (X88sA)
Posted by: Paulo at July 23, 2015 01:53 PM (VndSC)
Posted by: artisanal 'ette at July 23, 2015 01:53 PM (qCMvj)
Posted by: Plastic Sturgeon at July 23, 2015 01:53 PM (/WmRg)
Posted by: Stu Podaso at July 23, 2015 01:53 PM (tSYB0)
Posted by: Mindy at July 23, 2015 01:53 PM (8s/Ln)
As a feminist I am appalled at the emotional exploitation I engage in when banging my wife's hotter little sister.
But the wife won't do anal, so...
Posted by: Bandersnatch at July 23, 2015 01:54 PM (JtwS4)
Posted by: Laurie David's Cervix at July 23, 2015 01:51 PM (kdS6q)
Oh no.
that's real? And from the guys blog?
Alright, guys, let's stop. I'm really starting to feel embarrassed for this person now. And his wife.
Posted by: mynewhandle at July 23, 2015 01:54 PM (AkOaV)
Posted by: Grump928(C) at July 23, 2015 01:54 PM (rwI+c)
OFFS:
It starts with this: Shortly after I met Catherine, a
rash appeared on my lower back. I had been wandering through the woods
of my childhood that morning, reminding myself of its sacred spaces, the
cave, the broken dam, the spring. It occurred to me that I could have
brushed up against poison ivy, but how would it have touched my lower
back alone? A single swath just above my right iliac crest, it resembled
a crudely charted island on an otherwise unmapped sea.
Passing
through Pittsburgh on my way back to Catherine, I showed my flushed,
rough skin to Celeste who nonchalantly diagnosed me with shingles. What
triggers shingles, I asked the Internet, embarrassed by my ignorance.
Excess cortisol, probably. And what produces excess cortisol? Lots of
things, it turned out, but one caught my eye: Falling in love. And I
was.
------------
This is 300% better writing than that gamma-male douchebag.
Posted by: exdem13 at July 23, 2015 01:54 PM (ry4ab)
I dunno, Ace. In the backyard, grilling meat while sucking down a beer, is pretty masculine.
Posted by: Bruce With a Wang! at July 23, 2015 01:49 PM (iQIUe)
But writing an article about how much you fret about it and the feely feels it invokes in you? Not so much.
Posted by: rebel flounder at July 23, 2015 01:55 PM (Vf5rR)
Posted by: Mr. Chow at July 23, 2015 01:55 PM (QiBX8)
That Ginger is Smoking Hot in the Video.....
Posted by: Plastic Sturgeon at July 23, 2015 01:53 PM (/WmRg)Agreed. Damn shame she's a lib.
Posted by: Colorado Alex at July 23, 2015 01:55 PM (OiH3z)
Thumb over the hole.
So no one can use it for a spit bottle.
Posted by: rickb223 at July 23, 2015 01:55 PM (X88sA)
-------------------------
On *very* rare occasions, they will have a useful article. But it's very rare. Stopped clock, and all that.
I usually let Glenn Reynolds find those articles for me, and then follow the link.
Posted by: junior at July 23, 2015 01:55 PM (3m3mw)
------------
I know people who have done that..., which gave Tim the idea.
Posted by: Mike Hammer, etc., etc. at July 23, 2015 01:55 PM (9mTYi)
Posted by: Obama's Dog at July 23, 2015 01:55 PM (aUQgu)
http://tinyurl.com/o3ayjzm
Only difference is on mine above the stereo on the left is also a 40 inch tv.
Posted by: wrg500 at July 23, 2015 01:55 PM (sWgE+)
the Daily Mail does this all the time. It's a big traffic thing, and I can easily see US webzines doing it too.
==========
Yes. I follow several of their writers on twitter. Sometimes it backfires when they get attacked for some phoney b.s. they were assigned to write.
Posted by: Bruce With a Wang! at July 23, 2015 01:55 PM (iQIUe)
Posted by: AllenG (DedicatedTenther) - Not dead yet at July 23, 2015 01:55 PM (kff5f)
Posted by: ManWithNoParty, unperson from Free Market Jesus Paradise at July 23, 2015 01:56 PM (nLXsk)
Posted by: KGB at July 23, 2015 01:52 PM (AJj50)
Trust me, you don't want to get involved with the kind of chick who is attracted to this gamma male shit.
Ever heard the phrase dont stick your dick in crazy?
Yeah.
10 out 10 girls who are in to gamma males are Jackie from UVa.
Posted by: mynewhandle at July 23, 2015 01:56 PM (AkOaV)
The only type of women who are attracted to this type of pathetic confused wimp are those looking for a dope they can easily dominate and control.
Posted by: chique d'afrique (the artist formerly known as african chick) at July 23, 2015 01:56 PM (fWspx)
Posted by: exdem13 at July 23, 2015 01:56 PM (ry4ab)
"Fun fact: I'm working on an essay about how the current raw denim craze is a reflection of a cultural fantasy about romanticized Americana"
Yes because America is pure evil and should be demonized at every turn.
Posted by: Tilikum Killer Assault Whale at July 23, 2015 01:56 PM (8marX)
Posted by: Cruzinator at July 23, 2015 01:57 PM (N4pek)
Posted by: Roy at July 23, 2015 01:57 PM (VndSC)
As my two friends and I work at skinning out the hanging deer
carcass, occasionally taking a swig of beer, I ponder the caricature of
maleness in which we are falsely engaged.
Soon we will begin with the butchering process, all of the time
secretly wishing that the screaming, suffering, metrosexual within could
escape to a spa, where, rather than with blood, we would anointed with
avocado/cucumber balms.
------------
Now THAT is trolling!
Posted by: exdem13 at July 23, 2015 01:57 PM (ry4ab)
Posted by: Bruce With a Wang! at July 23, 2015 01:58 PM (iQIUe)
Its a reference to the way gunslingers wear their pistols in western literature/movies. His degree is in literature, remember?
Posted by: Grey Fox at July 23, 2015 01:58 PM (a42f0)
Posted by: Mikey NTH - Quality Paper and Inks for Your Enemies List at The Outrage Outlet! at July 23, 2015 01:58 PM (hLRSq)
Posted by: Bruce With a Wang! at July 23, 2015 01:59 PM (iQIUe)
Posted by: ace at July 23, 2015 01:49 PM (dciA+)
Threadweiner.
Posted by: rebel flounder at July 23, 2015 01:59 PM (Vf5rR)
--------------------
I keep a can on Coors Light around for this purpose. I drink the real beer.
Posted by: Roy at July 23, 2015 01:59 PM (VndSC)
Posted by: El Kabong at July 23, 2015 01:59 PM (75gXb)
Exactly so. It's like ace said yesterday, never say it can't get any more stupid, because that is a statement that's never true.
Posted by: OregonMuse at July 23, 2015 01:59 PM (/LM8/)
Posted by: Soothie at July 23, 2015 02:00 PM (fvMOw)
Real men "fire up" the grill with flint steel.
=========
I "fire up" mine with a roman candle.
Posted by: RoyalOil at July 23, 2015 01:47 PM (ZvKdv)
Wimp. Real men strike their erect penis against a flint to start a fire.
Posted by: Jacob at July 23, 2015 02:00 PM (RD7QR)
Posted by: Mikey NTH - Quality Paper and Inks for Your Enemies List at The Outrage Outlet! at July 23, 2015 01:58 PM (hLRSq)
Speaking of transitioning... I watched "I am Jazz" on TLC last night.
Horrific.
I mean, I have a fairly thick skin and can find humor in most situations. But I was just sitting there horrified. His parents started "transitioning" him at age 3.
Oh, and he called it "bigoted" that 14 year old boys are in to a 14 year old boy who dresses like a girl and thinks he is a girl.
And his gay doctor was talking about "bottom surgery" and "top surgery". That's when I had to change the channel.
Sick culture.
Posted by: mynewhandle at July 23, 2015 02:00 PM (AkOaV)
Posted by: Count de Monet at July 23, 2015 02:00 PM (JO9+V)
http://tinyurl.com/o3ayjzm
Only difference is on mine above the stereo on the left is also a 40 inch tv.
Mine is a 36" dia, 3/16's" steel, 48" long, with plate steel for end caps on a 4" pipe sunk in the ground. Cut & welded it after work one night with a buddy's help.
Posted by: rickb223 at July 23, 2015 02:00 PM (X88sA)
Posted by: mynewhandle at July 23, 2015 02:00 PM (AkOaV)
Posted by: shillelagh at July 23, 2015 02:01 PM (bqNKV)
This guy probably can't drive stick. Actually he probably can't drive.
Ace nails it again skewering these wimps.
Posted by: fb at July 23, 2015 02:01 PM (JVEmw)
Posted by: Terrance Shuman at July 23, 2015 02:01 PM (dmXZt)
"10 out 10 girls who are in to gamma males are Jackie from UVa."
Or they prefer getting boned by Paulo, but need gamma male to clean the house and take care of the kids.
Posted by: Benji Carver at July 23, 2015 02:01 PM (OD2ni)
Posted by: ace at July 23, 2015 02:01 PM (dciA+)
Posted by: Bandersnatch at July 23, 2015 02:01 PM (JtwS4)
-------------------------
You laugh, but...
I think I remember reading that this is an actual thing in Germany.
Posted by: junior at July 23, 2015 02:01 PM (3m3mw)
Posted by: Hank at July 23, 2015 02:02 PM (terLs)
Posted by: Mag reader at July 23, 2015 02:02 PM (VcOqI)
Posted by: mynewhandle at July 23, 2015 01:56 PM (AkOaV)
I understand that, but it's "any port in a storm" for this guy.
Posted by: KGB at July 23, 2015 02:02 PM (AJj50)
Do you swing them to and fro?
Are your panties in a knot?
Is your hair in a bow?
I'm really not sure where else to take that...
Posted by: AllenG (DedicatedTenther) - Not dead yet at July 23, 2015 02:02 PM (kff5f)
Just think about it: man has been huddled around a fire grilling meat since the dawn of time....
Posted by: Bruce With a Wang! at July 23, 2015 02:02 PM (iQIUe)
/sarc
Posted by: Bigby's ASL at July 23, 2015 01:52 PM (3ZtZW)
Work from home. Maybe I'll swing by your place.
Posted by: rebel flounder at July 23, 2015 02:02 PM (Vf5rR)
Posted by: no good deed at July 23, 2015 02:02 PM (GgxVX)
Oh shit yeah, not only does everything exist, but they made a prono about it too.
Posted by: Soothie at July 23, 2015 02:02 PM (fvMOw)
------------------------------
Not before you eat the peanuts out of my shit, Pilgrim.
Posted by: John Wayne at July 23, 2015 02:03 PM (EfRAJ)
Naa, our insults go right over her head.
Posted by: wrg500 at July 23, 2015 02:03 PM (sWgE+)
Posted by: Mindy at July 23, 2015 02:03 PM (8s/Ln)
I can't quite put my finger on it.
While we all wear the same uniform, why is Jean-Luc adored by the ladies? Deanna, the men?
I don't get it.
Dr. Spock: May I say that I have not thoroughly enjoyed serving with humans? I find their illogic and foolish emotions a constant irritant.
Data: Hm. I understand. I am also fond of you, Commander. And you as well, Counselor.
Captain Kirk: You know the greatest danger facing us is ourselves, an irrational fear of the unknown. But there's no such thing as the unknown -- only things temporarily hidden, temporarily not understood.
Posted by: Pick any ole Star Trek at July 23, 2015 02:03 PM (qCMvj)
In the recesses of tumblr, part of the transtrender movement considers it bigotry if a heterosexual man refuses to sleep with a trans woman.
That hasn't gone mainstream yet, but it will in a few years.
Posted by: Bevel Lemelisk at July 23, 2015 02:04 PM (shLnc)
Just think about it: man has been huddled around a fire grilling meat since the dawn of time....
Posted by: Bruce With a Wang! at July 23, 2015 02:02 PM (iQIUe)
Almost like this anti-masculinity hucksterism is based in what is essentially an anti-humanity and anti-civilization philosophy, so much so that they have to decry the basics of not just survival, but existence.
Posted by: shillelagh at July 23, 2015 02:04 PM (bqNKV)
Posted by: Eric in Boise at July 23, 2015 01:09 PM (Iy5SM)
------------------------
Probably uses mustard as his BBQ medium too.
Posted by: Soona at July 23, 2015 02:04 PM (P25Hh)
You may be technically "male" in the chromosomal sense but these two things do not go together. You are not in any way a man, nor a dude, nor even a (cringe) "bro". At best, such a pathetic wuss is a mangina. Grilling meat, drinking beer and watching ESPN will not change that. Growing a stupid bushy beard and wearing expensive, tight flannel shirts with your pencil leg black "meggings" and over-priced sneakers will not change that.
Posted by: Commissar M at July 23, 2015 02:05 PM (KSF9t)
Posted by: Groty at July 23, 2015 02:05 PM (Bk9Zz)
Ace of Spades: Please shine some light on the story of the Bay Area
Officer shot to death by the Hispanic gang member. The gang member shot
in exchange of gunfire with police. His "relatives" in Oakland dropped
him off at a community hospital. He is not talking, and no evidence he
was born in the U.S.
-----------
"I told you so. Now when I am President, those people will get deported and I'll sign a bill for building the fence and staffing it with out of work veterans." - Trump 2016
Posted by: exdem13 at July 23, 2015 02:05 PM (ry4ab)
Posted by: Bandersnatch at July 23, 2015 02:01 PM (JtwS4)
You have a funny way of spelling "dead."
Posted by: Mikey NTH - Quality Paper and Inks for Your Enemies List at The Outrage Outlet! at July 23, 2015 02:05 PM (hLRSq)
John Kerry rebukes fellow Democrat Robert Menendez for revealing what he says is a "classified" clause in the Iran nuclear deal stating that Iran will be the one to supply the UN atomic agency with samples from sites with suspected nuclear activity.
I wonder what other Sooper Sekret little clauses Choom Boy and Jon Cary sprinkled through the deal?
Interesting that both ChoomTrade and ChoomDoom, both recently acquiesced to by Congress, have all sorts of secret shit in 'em that we're not supposed to know about....
You'll never read about it in Slate, though.
Posted by: MrScribbler at July 23, 2015 02:05 PM (rCmeG)
At the Quatre Bras battlefield, Patrick whatsisname slices a hunk of meat off the rear haunch of a dead cavalry horse and then proceeds to put the meat in a sizzling-hot cuirass (an armored breastplate worn by a French cuirrassier) for a quick broil over a campfire.
Posted by: mrp at July 23, 2015 02:05 PM (JBggj)
Fixed for accuracy.
Double fixed.
Posted by: rickb223 at July 23, 2015 02:05 PM (X88sA)
Ugh, I've seen ads for that. Started at age 3?!? That is messed up.
And I think 14 year old boys (and girls) are acting on hormones, not bigotry. They want what they want - they were born that way.
It's only after years of social programming in public schools and college that they become totes submissive like Jacob Grillin' with Male Guilt.
Posted by: Lizzy at July 23, 2015 02:06 PM (NOIQH)
Posted by: ABC Family and TLC at July 23, 2015 02:06 PM (GgxVX)
And, if there is a grillmaster around who wants to show his or her prowess...WTFG. Here, take over, let me know when my burger is done, I'll be in the back having a beer.
Posted by: Keith at July 23, 2015 02:07 PM (aGv81)
Do you swing them to and fro?
Are your panties in a knot?
Is your hair in a bow?
I'm really not sure where else to take that...
Posted by: AllenG (DedicatedTenther) - Not dead yet at July 23, 2015 02:02 PM (kff5f)
For your sack
Use no wax.
Burma Shave
Posted by: Mikey NTH - Quality Paper and Inks for Your Enemies List at The Outrage Outlet! at July 23, 2015 02:07 PM (hLRSq)
Maybe this is the corruption in the educational system finally yielding its poisoned harvest -- what the progressives have been working at for generations.
Posted by: rrpjr at July 23, 2015 02:07 PM (s/yC1)
Just think about it: man has been huddled around a fire grilling meat since the dawn of time....
....and the panty-waist SJW crowd thinks it is time to discontinue the process.
Posted by: exdem13 at July 23, 2015 02:07 PM (ry4ab)
Was there ever such a time?
Posted by: V the K at July 23, 2015 02:07 PM (O7MnT)
WTF, is this guy the Anal Retentive Chef?
http://tinyurl.com/nr5udpf
Posted by: Ashley Judd's Puffy Scamper at July 23, 2015 02:08 PM (Z7G74)
Posted by: Bruce With a Wang! at July 23, 2015 01:59 PM (iQIUe)
That article was hilarious in a sad way.
Well, anyway I laughed.
The bedroom scene would make a great cringe comedy scene in a movie.
For some reason I hear the guy with a German accent screaming in horror:
"I've got scheisse on mein schnitzengruben!"
Posted by: naturalfake at July 23, 2015 02:08 PM (0cMkb)
I'm a bigot.
Posted by: rickb223 at July 23, 2015 02:08 PM (X88sA)
In the recesses of tumblr, part of the transtrender movement considers it bigotry if a heterosexual man refuses to sleep with a trans woman.
That hasn't gone mainstream yet, but it will in a few years.Posted by: Bevel Lemelisk at July 23, 2015 02:04 PM (shLnc)Years ago, on another bulletin board, there was a discussion about whether transgendered women should tell their partners that they were trans.The eventual conclusion was that they should, but only because it might be dangerous to them if their partner found out another way. No mention of the fact that their partner has a right to know that. No mention that otherwise they'd basically lie about their entire past.No, it was all about their safety.
Posted by: Colorado Alex at July 23, 2015 02:09 PM (OiH3z)
....and the panty-waist SJW crowd thinks it is time to discontinue the process.
Then they don't have to eat.
Posted by: rickb223 at July 23, 2015 02:10 PM (X88sA)
Posted by: BourbonChicken at July 23, 2015 02:10 PM (+4uXG)
Sort of like an over-reaction to all of the over-wrought self-esteem and participation trophies that little snowflakes were buried under when they were little.
Posted by: Mikey NTH - Quality Paper and Inks for Your Enemies List at The Outrage Outlet! at July 23, 2015 02:10 PM (hLRSq)
Posted by: rickb223 at July 23, 2015 02:11 PM (X88sA)
Posted by: Arnie Fufkin at July 23, 2015 02:11 PM (3GUVH)
....and the panty-waist SJW crowd thinks it is time to discontinue the process.
Posted by: exdem13 at July 23, 2015 02:07 PM (ry4ab)
There is a town in CA I think that I read about was trying to ban outdoors grilling to save Gaia.
Posted by: wrg500 at July 23, 2015 02:12 PM (sWgE+)
Posted by: Haven Monahan at July 23, 2015 02:15 PM (Spluw)
Are your beers slung low?
Do you swing them to and fro?
Are your panties in a knot?
Is your hair in a bow?
I'm really not sure where else to take that...
Posted by: AllenG (DedicatedTenther) - Not dead yet at July 23, 2015 02:02 PM (kff5f)
Do you like to gargle boulders like a feminazi soldier?
Are your beers slung low?
Posted by: rebel flounder at July 23, 2015 02:16 PM (Vf5rR)
Posted by: Hank_Scorpio at July 23, 2015 02:17 PM (nQREt)
Posted by: notJCred at July 23, 2015 02:20 PM (b2Qci)
Posted by: Hank at July 23, 2015 02:22 PM (terLs)
Fuck, Northeastern men are a bunch of navel-gazing pussies. Find a tall bridge and clean the fucking gene pool already.
Posted by: Jack O'Spades at July 23, 2015 02:24 PM (xQZ/Y)
Is this crap a rehash of the Alan Alda "sensitive guy" thing from the 80's?
*
*
SNAGs. Sensitive New Age Guys.
[need vomit icon]
Posted by: Wolfus Aurelius at July 23, 2015 02:27 PM (QrB1r)
Posted by: Guest at July 23, 2015 02:29 PM (uingK)
Can I assume the converse is true and it's sexist for women to like traditionally girlie things?
When I see women wailing in self-pity and guilt over enjoying shopping or mani/pedi's and going to the salon...
Then I'll think maybe this guy understands what he's talking about and we've decided the genders must be reversed for "equality" and only women should be permitted to do "masculine' things.
Until then, he's an idiot even by the feminist standards he claims to have as his goal.
He's even failing at being a failure... what the hell do you call that?
Posted by: gekkobear at July 23, 2015 03:01 PM (kq7Of)
But there is an upside. Most, if not all, of the "men" like this, won't survive it.
Posted by: py at July 23, 2015 04:46 PM (Ob9gS)
Posted by: pahound at July 23, 2015 05:10 PM (JjECE)
dying for a three-way. I'm not really into that, but Paolo says this
woman is so starved for masculine attention, she's like a little
suburban sex tiger."
Sure it's not "I am Laslo" from Althouse's blog? I hear he gets around.
Posted by: Bill Peschel at July 24, 2015 02:27 PM (4zwHN)
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