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Lindsay Graham: I'm Running for President or Something

Wonderful.

CENTRAL, S.C. — Senator Lindsey Graham of South Carolina on Monday returned to the neighborhood where he was raised and announced that he is running for president, injecting a hawkish foreign policy voice into a crowded field of Republican contenders.

...

"I want to be president to protect our nation that we all love so much from all threats foreign and domestic," he told the crowd assembled in his hometown. "So get ready. I know I'm ready."

...

As Mr. Graham traveled the country mulling a run, he mixed his usual wry humor with tough talk about terrorism. Speaking at the Lincoln Day Dinner in Iowa in April, the senator left no doubt about how he would handle the rise of the Islamic State group, also called ISIS or ISIL.

"If I'm president of the United States and you're thinking about joining Al Qaeda or ISIL, I’m not going to call a judge," he said. 'I'm going to call a drone, and we will kill you."

On domestic policy, Mr. Graham has left himself vulnerable to criticism from within his party. Open to making deals with Democrats to move bills forward, he is often criticized for sounding like a Democrat on climate change, spending and immigration.

And how.

Posted by: Ace at 11:56 AM




Comments

(Jump to bottom of comments)

1 Oh boy!

Posted by: HH at June 01, 2015 11:57 AM (Ce4DF)

2 Secretary of State Lindsey Graham? Sure.

Secretary of Defense Lindsey Graham? Okay.

President Lindsey Graham? Thanks but no thanks.

Posted by: The Devoceleraptor at June 01, 2015 11:58 AM (o+SC1)

3 "Off with their heads!" Shouted the Red Queen.

Posted by: wooga at June 01, 2015 11:58 AM (SOXWO)

4 Not first

Posted by: tbd at June 01, 2015 11:58 AM (2msJf)

5 Yes! Yes! Yes! We're saved!!!!

Posted by: Old Hob at June 01, 2015 11:58 AM (DkXQB)

6 YES!!!

Posted by: RWC - Team BOHICA at June 01, 2015 11:58 AM (fWAjv)

7 Yay!

Posted by: Circular Firing Squad at June 01, 2015 11:59 AM (RWGcK)

8 He's tanned, rested, and FABULOUS!

Posted by: joncelli at June 01, 2015 11:59 AM (RD7QR)

9 Sen. Graham Cracker.

When the going gets tough, he crumbles.

Posted by: Anna Puma (+SmuD) at June 01, 2015 11:59 AM (+WOB8)

10 "So get ready. I know I'm ready."

- Ben Dover -

Posted by: Bitter Clinger and All That at June 01, 2015 11:59 AM (zRby/)

11 To quote Abe Lincoln, Lindsay is like a rotten mackerel in the moonlight - he shines and stinks.

Posted by: Mary Poppins' Practically Perfect Piercing at June 01, 2015 11:59 AM (zF6Iw)

12 Bless his heart.

Posted by: huerfano at June 01, 2015 11:59 AM (bynk/)

13 Good luck on that, Pops. The entire GOP base knows you are a political opportunist with no long-term loyalty to the Republicans except where deviance would get you unelected. And if they decide they want a Country Club Republican, Jeb is younger than you, with deeper pockets.

Posted by: exdem13 at June 01, 2015 12:00 PM (ry4ab)

14 And how.

-----

THREADWINNAH!!!!!

Posted by: fixerupper at June 01, 2015 12:00 PM (8XRCm)

15 As I've said before, Progressives do not hold the monopoly on National Socialist tendencies.

Posted by: ScoggDog at June 01, 2015 12:00 PM (fTFPL)

16 Perfect.....

Posted by: Ricardo Kill at June 01, 2015 12:00 PM (LA7Cm)

17 [I\Open to making deals with Democrats to move bills forward, he is often criticized for sounding like a Democrat on climate change, spending and immigration.

---

And there's the tacit endorsement from the NYT.

Posted by: Stuart Rankin, proprietor of All Things Scottish at June 01, 2015 12:01 PM (PFy0L)

18 mccain announced it for him in april.....

Posted by: phoenixgirl at June 01, 2015 12:01 PM (0O7c5)

19 "I want to be president to protect our nation that we all love so much from all threats foreign and domestic," he told the crowd assembled in his hometown.

Talk is cheap.

You want to protect us from domestic enemies, Lissy? Then move articles of impeachment against the dog-eating crackhead infesting the Oval Office. Otherwise, FOAD.

Posted by: Mary Poppins' Practically Perfect Piercing at June 01, 2015 12:01 PM (zF6Iw)

20 He's got our vote!

Posted by: Ricky Martin, Barry Manilow, George Michael Alliance. at June 01, 2015 12:01 PM (0N9lD)

21 Good lord... enough already.

Posted by: Nonapod at June 01, 2015 12:01 PM (CLP9I)

22 Skynet here we come.

- Miss Lindsey Graham -

Posted by: Bitter Clinger and All That at June 01, 2015 12:01 PM (zRby/)

23 Just wait 'til you see my t-shirts!

Posted by: Miss Lindsay at June 01, 2015 12:01 PM (Dwehj)

24 Now here's a man that finally speaks for Americans, especially effeminate, buck-toothed, hillbilly Americans.

Posted by: Arson Wells at June 01, 2015 12:02 PM (UnJ7w)

25 Kicking Al Qaeda butt, while wearing lip gloss. Jump on board the Lindsey train.

Posted by: Old Hob at June 01, 2015 12:02 PM (DkXQB)

26 Maybe he should resign from the Senate so he can focus full time on his presidential campaign.

Posted by: buzz at June 01, 2015 12:02 PM (88DH9)

27 "Wonderful."
------------

My brain saw that as "Woeful."

Posted by: Mike Hammer, etc., etc. at June 01, 2015 12:02 PM (9mTYi)

28 Dial-A-Drone?

Posted by: Dirty Ape at June 01, 2015 12:02 PM (m3iiU)

29 Suck that Democrats...with Lindsey's entrance the GOP is going to be the flag bearer for first woman president of the United States.

Posted by: Grahmnesty Rules at June 01, 2015 12:02 PM (cYntP)

30 I haven't been this excited since Sean Penn's "The Gunman" hit theaters.

I haven't been this excited since .38 Special became a one drummer band.

I haven't been this excited since Mike Glennon became starting QB for the Tampa Bay Beccaneers.

Add yours below.

Posted by: Circa (Insert Year Here) at June 01, 2015 12:02 PM (659DL)

31 You know what, screw it. Since everyone else is running for President, so shall I.

*clambers on soapbox*

I hereby announce my candidacy for President of the United States. My platform shall be limited government, the elimination of the regulatory state, strong border security, strong national defense, a restoration of the 10th amendment and complete obeisance by all to the benevolentishness of my rule.

Mwahaha. Mwahahahahahahahahaha.

Posted by: alexthechick - Oh please intervene SMOD at June 01, 2015 12:02 PM (mf5HN)

32
Off sock.
Wonder if Graham will drone someone on U.S. soil?

Posted by: Tilikum Killer Assault Whale at June 01, 2015 12:02 PM (m3iiU)

33 "I want to be president to protect our nation that we all love so
much from all threats foreign and domestic," he told the crowd assembled
in his hometown.


Then stop trying to pass an Amnesty bill.


Posted by: McAdams at June 01, 2015 12:02 PM (qBmEy)

34 Somehow, the phrase "the more, the merrier" just seems all wrong in this instance.

Posted by: Janetoo at June 01, 2015 12:02 PM (iZ4xs)

35 The GOP electorate has been clamoring for an uber-hawkish candidate with a democrat's domestic agenda, without the POW bonafides of McCain.

But that's none of my business.

Posted by: Chupacabras at June 01, 2015 12:03 PM (5npD/)

36 alexthechick

what about....no more spiders?

Posted by: phoenixgirl at June 01, 2015 12:03 PM (0O7c5)

37 I guess each party needs it's crazy totalitarian.

Posted by: tsrblke (Tablet) at June 01, 2015 12:03 PM (U8W/7)

38

I havent been this excited since they announced the release of "Tron II".

Posted by: fixerupper at June 01, 2015 12:03 PM (8XRCm)

39 I haven't been this excited since I had the flu.

Posted by: Tilikum Killer Assault Whale at June 01, 2015 12:03 PM (m3iiU)

40 "If I'm president of the United States and you're thinking about joining Al Qaeda or ISIL, I'm not going to call a judge," he said. 'I'm going to call a drone, and we will kill you."

so, I'm reading that as he wants to use drones inside the U.S., troubling.

Posted by: wrg500 at June 01, 2015 12:04 PM (C278+)

41 Posted by: alexthechick - Oh please intervene SMOD at June 01, 2015 12:02 PM (mf5HN)

I would note that there doesn't seem to be anything in there about bewbs.

Posted by: Circa (Insert Year Here) at June 01, 2015 12:04 PM (659DL)

42 Posted by: McAdams at June 01, 2015 12:02 PM (qBmEy)

To be fair, he didn't say which nation that was.

Posted by: Bitter Clinger and All That at June 01, 2015 12:04 PM (zRby/)

43 Mwahaha. Mwahahahahahahahahaha.

Posted by: alexthechick - Oh please intervene SMOD at June 01, 2015 12:02 PM (mf5HN)

And raptors. Don't forget those.

Posted by: joncelli at June 01, 2015 12:04 PM (RD7QR)

44 I haven't been this excited since the Dallas Cowboys drafted Flozell Adams over Randy Moss.

Posted by: Arson Wells at June 01, 2015 12:04 PM (UnJ7w)

45 Gomer for President!

Posted by: booter at June 01, 2015 12:04 PM (Lg1F3)

46 I did not think miss. Lindsay could run seeing as how lame she is.

Posted by: Killerdog at June 01, 2015 12:05 PM (18QvC)

47 we are one candidate away from tipping guam!

Posted by: phoenixgirl at June 01, 2015 12:05 PM (0O7c5)

48
I declare my candidacy.
Free beer and legal to throat punch lefties.
I'll figure the other stuff out later.

Posted by: Tilikum Killer Assault Whale at June 01, 2015 12:05 PM (m3iiU)

49 As President, I promise that if you merely contemplate doing the wrong thing, I'll enthusiastically scoff at the rule of law and order your murder.

Posted by: Miss Lindsay at June 01, 2015 12:05 PM (/JdQf)

50 *clambers on soapbox*

Posted by: alexthechick - Oh please intervene SMOD at June 01, 2015 12:02 PM (mf5HN)

----

NOPE.

*opens 6' Stepladder

Posted by: fixerupper at June 01, 2015 12:05 PM (8XRCm)

51 Forget the Grand Old Party, let's have a Lemon Party!!!!

Posted by: Old Hob at June 01, 2015 12:05 PM (DkXQB)

52 So. Obama part Deux?

With white on the OUTSIDE and not the inside.

Posted by: Bitter Clinger and All That at June 01, 2015 12:05 PM (zRby/)

53 You would think if there was one state that could make an example out such a piece of shit RINO, it would be South Carolina.

How on Earth does this guy keep get reelected and then have the audacity to think he's Presidential material?

Posted by: McAdams at June 01, 2015 12:05 PM (qBmEy)

54 Well, the GOP already has its black candidate, its Latino candidates and a woman candidate.

Now they have a LBGTQWERTY candidate.

Posted by: Citizen X at June 01, 2015 12:06 PM (7ObY1)

55 >>"I want to be president to protect our nation that we all love so much from all threats foreign and domestic,"


Admission that he hasn't been doing this as a Senator?

Lame.

Posted by: Lizzy at June 01, 2015 12:06 PM (UJir/)

56 Oh AlextheChick, once you are President.

Can I be the Kigurumi ambassador to Japan? Will never hear a word from me. *thud*

How about just ambassador for reals. Skip the mask.

Posted by: Anna Puma (+SmuD) at June 01, 2015 12:06 PM (+WOB8)

57 I haven't been this excited since the Redskins announced the hiring of the coach before this one. Old whatsisname.

Posted by: joncelli at June 01, 2015 12:06 PM (RD7QR)

58
*clambers on soapbox*


*damn, short skirt, too bad that soapbox is so low*

Posted by: wrg500 at June 01, 2015 12:06 PM (C278+)

59 Posted by: alexthechick - Oh please intervene SMOD at June 01, 2015 12:02 PM (mf5HN)

Eh, still the least flawed candidate.

Also be careful, some GOP flunky may start calculating if you can get the woman and gay vote and try to draft you .

Posted by: tsrblke (Tablet) at June 01, 2015 12:06 PM (U8W/7)

60 I haven't been this excited since season 2 of 'Glee' was announced.

Posted by: Mike Hammer, etc., etc. at June 01, 2015 12:06 PM (9mTYi)

61 I haven't been this excited since Cousin Oliver joined the cast of The Brady Bunch.

Posted by: Mary Poppins' Practically Perfect Piercing at June 01, 2015 12:06 PM (zF6Iw)

62 thomas ravenel for President! why not the huguenot?

Posted by: phoenixgirl at June 01, 2015 12:06 PM (0O7c5)

63

You know, gonna miss that guy.

Posted by: The Hangers in Lindsay Graham's Closet

Posted by: Laurie David's Cervix at June 01, 2015 12:07 PM (kdS6q)

64 >>*clambers on soapbox*

Flat tax or graduated by height?

Posted by: Mama AJ at June 01, 2015 12:07 PM (0xTsz)

65 Just think there is somebody in America saying "Fukc Yes!, Graham's in!".

Posted by: Arson Wells at June 01, 2015 12:07 PM (UnJ7w)

66 I haven't been this excited since The Mindy Project got picked up by Hulu...

Posted by: Kensington (@NYKensington) at June 01, 2015 12:07 PM (YZcNj)

67 I haven't been this excited since Lena Dunham got naked.

Posted by: Citizen X at June 01, 2015 12:07 PM (7ObY1)

68 President AlextheChick, "Thank you Sen. McConnel and Rep. Boehner for meeting with me today. Here is my personal assistant Polly."

Posted by: Anna Puma (+SmuD) at June 01, 2015 12:07 PM (+WOB8)

69 I haven't been this excited since the much-anticipated release of the 1963 Sears catalog

Posted by: Muldoon, a solid man at June 01, 2015 12:07 PM (NeFrd)

70 e wants to use drones inside the U.S.

-
Yeah, the drones are card carrying Democrats.

Posted by: The Great White Snark at June 01, 2015 12:07 PM (vk+Kb)

71 Just think there is somebody in America saying "Fukc Yes!, Graham's in!".

Prove. It.

Posted by: Circa (Insert Year Here) at June 01, 2015 12:08 PM (659DL)

72 >>How about just ambassador for reals.

Dibs on Ambassador to Texas.

Posted by: Mama AJ at June 01, 2015 12:08 PM (0xTsz)

73 How on Earth does this guy keep get reelected and then have the audacity to think he's Presidential material?
Posted by: McAdams
-------------
Repeat after me, "The media, the media, the media..."

Posted by: Mike Hammer, etc., etc. at June 01, 2015 12:08 PM (9mTYi)

74 I haven't been this excited since the Right Said Fred reunion.

Posted by: Citizen X at June 01, 2015 12:08 PM (7ObY1)

75 I haven't been this excited since Coy and Vance replaced Bo and Luke on Dukes of Hazzard

Posted by: @JohnTant at June 01, 2015 12:08 PM (eytER)

76 Just think there is somebody in America saying "Fukc Yes!, Graham's in!".

Prove. It.
Posted by: Circa (Insert Year Here) at June 01, 2015 12:08 PM (659DL)

----

**waves**

Posted by: Lindsey Grahms Mother at June 01, 2015 12:08 PM (8XRCm)

77 Just shoot me now...

Posted by: Gmac- Pulling in feelers in preperation... at June 01, 2015 12:08 PM (4CRfK)

78 If he wins, who will be the first man?

Posted by: Bruce with a Wang! at June 01, 2015 12:08 PM (iQIUe)

79 I'm all for an amendment that bans senators from becoming presidents.

Posted by: Shoot Me at June 01, 2015 12:08 PM (EQcfE)

80 Hey Lindsey: just install a 1/4 gram of c4 with radio activated detonator to everyone's neck.

You step out of line; boom goes your head.

No pesky drones and flight plans and sissy assed warrants n' stuff.

And no coming to take you away either.

Posted by: Bitter Clinger and All That at June 01, 2015 12:09 PM (zRby/)

81 He reminds me of Opie, but grown up.

Posted by: Carol at June 01, 2015 12:09 PM (sj3Ax)

82 >>If he wins, who will be the first man?

His esteemed colleague John McCain, of course!

Posted by: Lizzy at June 01, 2015 12:09 PM (UJir/)

83 Isn't it more accurate to say that he is sashaying for president?

Gives that old presidential maxim "Walk softly and carry a big stick" a new and uncomfortable context.

Posted by: Pete Moss, The Agrostologist of the Apocolypse at June 01, 2015 12:09 PM (GgGgG)

84 Did you see that Enrique Inglesias got sliced up by one of those small drones? I would think there wd have been a bigger uproar unless he knew who was using it.

Posted by: Bruce with a Wang! at June 01, 2015 12:09 PM (iQIUe)

85
31You know what, screw it. Since everyone else is running for President, so shall I.

*clambers on soapbox*

I hereby announce my candidacy for President of the United States. My platform shall be limited government, the elimination of the regulatory state, strong border security, strong national defense, a restoration of the 10th amendment and complete obeisance by all to the benevolentishness of my rule.
Posted by: alexthechick - Oh please intervene SMOD at June 01, 2015 12:02 PM (mf5HN
I'm in for that. Let's vote now.

Posted by: River Commander at June 01, 2015 12:09 PM (T/j6V)

86 My friendsh, you have nothing to fear from the candidacy of Ms. Lindsay Graham.

Posted by: John McCain at June 01, 2015 12:09 PM (OZmbA)

87 "I haven't been this excited since Microsoft announced Windows ME" - said no one ever.

Posted by: Anna Puma (+SmuD) at June 01, 2015 12:09 PM (+WOB8)

88 Just think there is somebody in America saying "Fukc Yes!, Graham's in!".
------------------

* raises hand *

Posted by: A certain Upcountry Nancy Boy at June 01, 2015 12:10 PM (9mTYi)

89 Lindsey Graham.. the Republican option for first President with a vagina...

Posted by: HowardDevore at June 01, 2015 12:10 PM (1lln4)

90 Wonder what his wife thinks.

Posted by: Dan in Michigan at June 01, 2015 12:10 PM (2yD4G)

91 Mwahaha. Mwahahahahahahahahaha.
Posted by: alexthechick - Oh please intervene SMOD at June 01, 2015 12:02 PM (mf5HN)

Some might find your villainous laughter and that power-mad glint in your eye somewhat off-putting. Not me.

Posted by: troyriser at June 01, 2015 12:10 PM (S08gh)

92 82 >>If he wins, who will be the first man?

His esteemed colleague John McCain, of course!
Posted by: Lizzy at June 01, 2015 12:09 PM (UJir/)

There are some disturbing mental images to be had there.

Posted by: joncelli at June 01, 2015 12:10 PM (RD7QR)

93 I doubt the msm is going to be unearthing any Graham rape fantasy stories if you know what I mean.

Posted by: JackStraw at June 01, 2015 12:10 PM (g1DWB)

94 i haven't been this excited since the happy days spin off...joanie loves chachi

Posted by: phoenixgirl at June 01, 2015 12:10 PM (0O7c5)

95 Is there anyone seriously interested in President Lindsey Fucking Graham?

Posted by: DangerGirl at June 01, 2015 12:10 PM (hpmES)

96 Hay -ay!

This presidency needs an enema !

Posted by: Miss Lindsey at June 01, 2015 12:10 PM (N2PoX)

97 I haven't been this excited since Justin Timberlake got into acting.

Posted by: Lizzy at June 01, 2015 12:10 PM (UJir/)

98 Holy hell.

I consider myself fairly hawkish but...

Holy hell.

Posted by: Tex Lovera at June 01, 2015 12:10 PM (wtvvX)

99 This is GOPe skullduggery at work.

Remember: Iowa, NH, SC

SC is the anti-conservative firebreak. A pro-military, conservative candidate usually does well in SC. But it'd be hard-sailing against the GOPe native son and his in-state political machine.

He's in it for Jeb.

Posted by: mrp at June 01, 2015 12:10 PM (JBggj)

100 Oh AlextheChick, once you are President.

Can I be the Kigurumi ambassador to Japan? Will never hear a word from me. *thud*

How about just ambassador for reals. Skip the mask.
Posted by: Anna Puma (+SmuD) at June 01, 2015 12:06 PM (+WOB


Yes. Yes, you may.

And I presumed the utter annihilation of all spiders and the yaaaay bewbs were implied in my presidency.

If elected, and you better vote for me if you know what's good for you, bitches, I promise that I will hold weekly press conferences.

In completely and totally unrelated news, during the first week of my Presidency, I'll reopen the pool that's under the press room floor.

Posted by: alexthechick - Oh please intervene SMOD at June 01, 2015 12:10 PM (mf5HN)

101


**Menacingly shakes fist at Circa**

Posted by: John McCain at June 01, 2015 12:10 PM (UnJ7w)

102 He will drop out after Jeb wins FL. He is there to make sure no conservative wins SC.

Posted by: Vic We Have No Party at June 01, 2015 12:10 PM (GpgJl)

103 And I'm LGBT-friendly!

Posted by: Miss Lindsay at June 01, 2015 12:11 PM (Dwehj)

104 That'd be one way to get Lindsey out of the friggin' Senate.

Posted by: Buddha at June 01, 2015 12:11 PM (3CczE)

105 Posted by: Lindsey Grahms Mother at June 01, 2015 12:08 PM (8XRCm)

she's dead

Posted by: phoenixgirl at June 01, 2015 12:11 PM (0O7c5)

106 Did you see that Enrique Inglesias got sliced up by one of those small drones? I would think there wd have been a bigger uproar unless he knew who was using it.

----

He knew. It was a drone with a live feed to one of the jumbotrons, so the crowd could get an aerial look at him or whatever.

Iglesias wanted to do a Drone Selfie so he grabbed it, not thinking that there are propellors on the thing keeping it aloft.

And I'm ashamed beyond words that I know this.

Posted by: @JohnTant at June 01, 2015 12:11 PM (eytER)

107 Posted by: DangerGirl at June 01, 2015 12:10 PM (hpmES)

barneyfwank?

Posted by: phoenixgirl at June 01, 2015 12:12 PM (0O7c5)

108 Why is he running? I think it's probably to take out someone else.

I had television on & he said if he doesn't do well in Iowa or NH, he will drop out before SC!

I don't understand what purpose is.

Posted by: Carol at June 01, 2015 12:12 PM (sj3Ax)

109 South Carolina's very own Charlie Crist.

Posted by: Furious George at June 01, 2015 12:12 PM (UlJ3l)

110 >>Just think there is somebody in America saying "Fukc Yes!, Graham's in!".

Pics or it didn't happen.



Wait...

Posted by: Mama AJ at June 01, 2015 12:12 PM (0xTsz)

111 Posted by: Lindsey Grahms Mother at June 01, 2015 12:08 PM (8XRCm)

she's dead
Posted by: phoenixgirl at June 01, 2015 12:11 PM (0O7c5)

-----

well.... Ok... then

**waves**

Posted by: Zombie Lindsey Grahms Mother at June 01, 2015 12:12 PM (8XRCm)

112 You know what America needs more of? Socially conservative, fiscally liberal politicians.

Posted by: Right at June 01, 2015 12:12 PM (XpAxm)

113 "reopen the pool" is a euphemism for "trap door over shark infested waters?"

Posted by: Anna Puma (+SmuD) at June 01, 2015 12:12 PM (+WOB8)

114 Oh, wait a minute. He's running as a Republican?? When did that happen?

Posted by: Buddha at June 01, 2015 12:12 PM (3CczE)

115 40 "If I'm president of the United States and you're thinking about joining Al Qaeda or ISIL, I'm not going to call a judge," he said. 'I'm going to call a drone, and we will kill you."

so, I'm reading that as he wants to use drones inside the U.S., troubling.

Posted by: wrg500 at June 01, 2015 12:04 PM (C278+)



I'm reading that he wants to be able to take a big old Cleveland Steamer on the Bill of Rights.

Posted by: buzzion at June 01, 2015 12:12 PM (zt+N6)

116 President Lindsey Fucking Graham?
Posted by: DangerGirl
-----------

Who is Lindsey?

Posted by: Mike Hammer, etc., etc. at June 01, 2015 12:12 PM (9mTYi)

117 Well, Gaoouuuaaaaaaallllleeeeeee.

Posted by: Gomer for Graham at June 01, 2015 12:12 PM (OZmbA)

118 >>If elected, and you better vote for me if you know what's good for you,
bitches, I promise that I will hold weekly press conferences.

Can you also do QA sessions with Congress similar to the annual QA the British PM has w/Parliament? You know, the ones where they openly insult each other with biting sarcasm, boos, etc..

Posted by: Lizzy at June 01, 2015 12:13 PM (UJir/)

119 "If elected, and you better vote for me if you know what's good for you,
bitches, I promise that I will hold weekly press conferences."

Might I humbly suggest instead weekly press executions, Your Majesty???

Posted by: Tex Lovera at June 01, 2015 12:13 PM (wtvvX)

120 I promise that I will hold weekly press conferences.


You'll need new lower lecterns

Posted by: wrg500 at June 01, 2015 12:13 PM (C278+)

121 You all know we are going to get an amnesty guy as the nominee right? You also all know that this site will tell us to vote for him no matter what cuz Hillary. I have seen the future!

Posted by: Duncan MacLeod, the Highlander at June 01, 2015 12:13 PM (COpZ4)

122 the last time I was this excited was on the series premiere of Manimal.

Posted by: @JohnTant at June 01, 2015 12:13 PM (eytER)

123 I'll reopen the pool that's under the press room floor & fill it with sharks what have lasers on their heads.

Posted by: alexthechick - Oh please intervene SMOD at June 01, 2015 12:10 PM


just finishing the thought, my Leige

Posted by: AltonJackson at June 01, 2015 12:13 PM (KCxzN)

124 Only I can effectively reach out to the grievance theater crowd.

Posted by: Miss Lindsay at June 01, 2015 12:13 PM (Dwehj)

125 Open to making deals with Democrats to move bills forward, he is often criticized for sounding like a Democrat on climate change, spending and immigration.
---
He didnt announce a willingness to make deals with Republicans, did he?

Posted by: Harley Quinn at June 01, 2015 12:13 PM (5/k5Q)

126 Repeat after me, "The media, the media, the media..."



Posted by: Mike Hammer

At the end of the day though, South Carolina is about as conservative as a state can be. I just don't see a SC Republican primary voter being that influenced by Graham on Meet the Press.

You're talking about Strom Thurmond and Jim DeMint being Senators from there not too long ago.

I could understand someone like Graham having support in a a more purple state, but not South Carolina.

The problem is no quality candidate wants to step up to the plate and challenge him. It's the same with McCain in Arizona. Very vulnerable but only if a real candidate steps up.

Posted by: McAdams at June 01, 2015 12:14 PM (qBmEy)

127 what about....no more spiders?


Posted by: phoenixgirl at June 01, 2015 12:03 PM (0O7c5)


A bottle of valu-rite in every cupboard?

Posted by: Cicero Kaboom! Kid at June 01, 2015 12:14 PM (YEqE0)

128 I haven't been this excited since the McRib.

Posted by: RWC - Team BOHICA at June 01, 2015 12:14 PM (fWAjv)

129 >>so, I'm reading that as he wants to use drones inside the U.S., troubling.


I'm reading this as dude has no idea how to talk tough.

Seriously, "I will drone your ass?" Obama's been doing that --- and little else --- and what has that gotten us?

Posted by: Lizzy at June 01, 2015 12:14 PM (UJir/)

130 As God is my witness, I thought drones had no propellers.

- Enrique "Three Fingers" Inglesias

Posted by: Citizen X at June 01, 2015 12:14 PM (7ObY1)

131 95 Is there anyone seriously interested in President Lindsey Fucking Graham?

------------------------
I do declare a general sense of anger with this one.

Posted by: A Proper Southern Gentlemen at June 01, 2015 12:15 PM (cYntP)

132 Never met a two-bit special interest group I didn't like.

Posted by: Miss Lindsay at June 01, 2015 12:15 PM (Dwehj)

133 The problem with Graham always getting re-elected is probably the problem I saw with Thad Cochran. Too many who said they were Republican were unwilling to toss him out because of his seniority and the Federal gravy train he brought to the state.

Posted by: Anna Puma (+SmuD) at June 01, 2015 12:15 PM (+WOB8)

134 "reopen the pool" is a euphemism for "trap door over shark infested waters?"
Posted by: Anna Puma (+SmuD) at June 01, 2015 12:12 PM (+WOB



You say potayto I say potahto . . . .

Posted by: alexthechick - Oh please intervene SMOD at June 01, 2015 12:15 PM (mf5HN)

135 Slap fight with ISIL !

Posted by: wth at June 01, 2015 12:16 PM (wAQA5)

136 Schmuck.

Posted by: Wendy at June 01, 2015 12:16 PM (KydDZ)

137 AtC - Of course you have my vote. I'll even vote more than once if you run. (just kidding, Bob from NSA!! *wink, wink).

Posted by: Lizzy at June 01, 2015 12:16 PM (UJir/)

138 I haven't been this excited since 'The View' got new chairs for the ladies to sit on.

Posted by: Gregory of Yardale at June 01, 2015 12:16 PM (O7MnT)

139 I don't care if he's a non-homophobic RethugliKKKan and would be the first openly swishy President. I am completely opposed to that warmongering hick.

SANDERS IN 2016!

Posted by: Mary Cloggenstein from Brattleboro, Vermont at June 01, 2015 12:17 PM (KPj2t)

140
Text of speech:

www.postandcourier.com/article/20150601/PC1603/150609959

Posted by: Laurie David's Cervix at June 01, 2015 12:17 PM (kdS6q)

141 Might I humbly suggest instead weekly press executions, Your Majesty???
Posted by: Tex Lovera at June 01, 2015 12:13 PM (wtvvX)


Execution is such a harsh term.

I prefer seeing the Darwinian process in action. It's a Teaching Moment. For The Children.

Posted by: alexthechick - Oh please intervene SMOD at June 01, 2015 12:17 PM (mf5HN)

142 I haven't been this excited since they changed Darrens on Bewitched.

Posted by: Muldoon, a solid man at June 01, 2015 12:18 PM (NeFrd)

143 128 I haven't been this excited since the McRib.
Posted by: RWC - Team BOHICA at June 01, 2015 12:14 PM (fWAjv)

Hey hey hey, no dissing the McRib! It's probably made of pressed llama pancreas but it STILL tastes awesome!

Posted by: joncelli at June 01, 2015 12:18 PM (RD7QR)

144 SANDERS IN 2016!

Posted by: Mary Cloggenstein from Brattleboro, Vermont at June 01, 2015 12:17 PM (KPj2t)

you'd like him and 2 of his friends to rape you and he'd love to tie you up........

Posted by: phoenixgirl at June 01, 2015 12:18 PM (0O7c5)

145 I'm laughing so much, I'm getting a headache.

tres amuse.

Posted by: Bitter Clinger and All That at June 01, 2015 12:18 PM (zRby/)

146 Graham will stimulate.........nobody. Milquetoast personified. Plain vanilla. Grits without condiment, boring.

Posted by: maddogg at June 01, 2015 12:18 PM (xWW96)

147 I haven't been this excited since Geraldo opened Al Capone's Vault on national television!

Posted by: John McCain at June 01, 2015 12:18 PM (UnJ7w)

148 Hey hey hey, no dissing the McRib! It's probably made of pressed llama pancreas but it STILL tastes awesome!



Pressed hobo pancreas.

Posted by: rickb223 at June 01, 2015 12:18 PM (Gv8zm)

149 I want to be "Boots on the ground!" President, and I'll make any deal necessary to get what I want.

Any. Deal.

Posted by: President Lindsay Graham at June 01, 2015 12:19 PM (DkJ4E)

150 *pauses*

Ambassadors make pretty good cash. And their digs and all are government funded. Wow could really go nutty in Akihabara - hug pillows oh my!

Posted by: Anna Puma (+SmuD) at June 01, 2015 12:19 PM (+WOB8)

151 I haven't been this excited since John manscaped me!

Posted by: Lindsay Graham at June 01, 2015 12:19 PM (UnJ7w)

152 >>I prefer seeing the Darwinian process in action. It's a Teaching Moment. For The Children.


May I suggest the dodgeball technique in "Bad Teacher" where she lined them up in the gym and if they get the answer wrong she'd fling the ball at their head?

Posted by: Lizzy at June 01, 2015 12:19 PM (UJir/)

153 I haven't been this excited since 'The View' got new chairs for the ladies to sit on.


****


Neither have we.

Posted by: Old chairs from The View at June 01, 2015 12:19 PM (NeFrd)

154

I haven't been this excited since Bewitched switched Sick Darren to Sissy Darren.

Posted by: Laurie David's Cervix at June 01, 2015 12:20 PM (kdS6q)

155 I haven't been this excited since Howie Kurtz got his own show on Fox.

Posted by: Lizzy at June 01, 2015 12:20 PM (UJir/)

156 Lindsey Graham: for those who think John McCain was too conservative.

Posted by: Harley Quinn at June 01, 2015 12:20 PM (5/k5Q)

157 Just think there is somebody in America saying "Fukc Yes!, Graham's in!".

Prove. It. Posted by: Circa (Insert Year Here) at June 01, 2015 12:08 PM (659DL) ----

**waves**
Posted by: Lindsey Grahms Mother at June 01, 2015 12:08 PM (8XRCm)


Oh, FTS!

Posted by: Lindsay Graham's Dad at June 01, 2015 12:20 PM (zF6Iw)

158 I can't remember being this excited since the Segway was announced.

Posted by: @JohnTant at June 01, 2015 12:20 PM (eytER)

159 146 Graham will stimulate.........nobody.
Posted by: maddogg at June 01, 2015 12:18 PM (xWW96)




I say, I say, speak for yourself, boy.

Posted by: Elderly Southern "Confirmed Bachelors" Everywhere at June 01, 2015 12:20 PM (vgIRn)

160 Guy sounds like a fag.

Posted by: Brian Schweitzer at June 01, 2015 12:20 PM (IrH2i)

161 It sure would be fun to watch the race to bank $100 million in campaign donations if Sarah Palin jumped in.

Posted by: jwest at June 01, 2015 12:21 PM (9ZZd+)

162 May I suggest the dodgeball technique in "Bad Teacher" where she lined them up in the gym and if they get the answer wrong she'd fling the ball at their head?
Posted by: Lizzy at June 01, 2015 12:19 PM (UJir/)


Go on . . . .

Posted by: alexthechick - Oh please intervene SMOD at June 01, 2015 12:21 PM (mf5HN)

163 158 I can't remember being this excited since the Segway was announced.
Posted by: @JohnTant at June 01, 2015 12:20 PM (eytER)

A red letter day for nerdy white boys everywhere.

Posted by: joncelli at June 01, 2015 12:21 PM (RD7QR)

164 Iglesias wanted to do a Drone Selfie so he grabbed it, not thinking that there are propellors on the thing keeping it aloft.

*snicker*

Posted by: HR braucht ein Bier at June 01, 2015 12:21 PM (ZKzrr)

165 The only good thing about Lindsay running is that he evidently takes votes away from one of the other RINOs in the race--Jeb.

Posted by: Rachel Jeantel at June 01, 2015 12:21 PM (y5bPZ)

166 Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.....................

Posted by: Diogenes at June 01, 2015 12:21 PM (08Znv)

167 I can't remember being this excited since the introduction of Windows 8.

Posted by: RWC - Team BOHICA at June 01, 2015 12:22 PM (fWAjv)

168 I haven't been this excited since 'The View' got new chairs for the ladies to sit on. Posted by: Gregory of Yardale at June 01, 2015 12:16 PM (O7MnT)........................................The design load for those chairs was simply insufficient.

Posted by: Whoopie at June 01, 2015 12:22 PM (wAQA5)

169 133
The problem with Graham always getting re-elected is probably the
problem I saw with Thad Cochran. Too many who said they were Republican
were unwilling to toss him out because of his seniority and the Federal
gravy train he brought to the state.


Posted by: Anna Puma (+SmuD)

I definitely think that's part of it, the thing is, but Thad Cochran was not an "in your face" RINO, he was just a fossil that was there too long and was basically just an elected lobbyist insider. He flew under the radar

And even then , he only won by the skin of his teeth in a runoff. Had that clown not broke into his "wife's" nursing home to snap pictures of her, I think he would have been defeated.

Graham enjoys poking the eye of conservatives and is usually the lead on any sort of Amnesty bill in the Senate. He's a much fatter target.



Posted by: McAdams at June 01, 2015 12:22 PM (qBmEy)

170 I haven't been this excited since Gucci became a publicly-traded company!

Posted by: Elle Woods at June 01, 2015 12:22 PM (eOpVe)

171 *ponders*

Going Kigurumi for the confirmation hearings would be amusing. Have the lawyer hand the Senators note cards with my 'answers' since as Kigurumi not supposed to talk.

Posted by: Anna Puma (+SmuD) at June 01, 2015 12:22 PM (+WOB8)

172 I had television on he said if he doesn't do well in Iowa or NH, he will drop out before SC! I don't understand what purpose is.
Posted by: Carol at June 01, 2015 12:12 PM (sj3Ax)


And what constitutes doing well in Iowa and NH? Why Ibet Miss Lindsey is the one that gets to determine that!

Posted by: buzzion at June 01, 2015 12:22 PM (zt+N6)

173 I like the idea of this being a great way to get him out of the senate. Didn't he have a good primary challenger last time?

Posted by: Burn the Witch at June 01, 2015 12:22 PM (xSCb6)

174 Since Klinger replaced Radar.

Posted by: Ricardo Kill at June 01, 2015 12:22 PM (LA7Cm)

175 I haven't been this exited since Valerie Harper walked away from "Rhoda in breach of contract.


Posted by: Grampa Jimbo at June 01, 2015 12:22 PM (V70Uh)

176 I haven't been this excited since the new phonebooks got here.

Posted by: thrill at June 01, 2015 12:22 PM (qLfij)

177 Move along greek boy. And take your lantern with you.

No Honest men around here.

Posted by: Bitter Clinger and All That at June 01, 2015 12:22 PM (zRby/)

178 I love the crease in AtC's pantlegs. That platform are pure leg thrills.

Posted by: MTF at June 01, 2015 12:23 PM (DkJ4E)

179 The only people excited by this news are people that are already on his payroll.

Also, doesn't SC have a problem with NE liberals moving there rather than Florida? Is that why we're stuck with this asshole, or am I giving the retirees too much weight?

Posted by: Chupacabras at June 01, 2015 12:23 PM (kZVsz)

180 I would think that U.S. Americans would be very excited about Mrs. Graham.

Posted by: Miss Teen U.S. America at June 01, 2015 12:23 PM (Dwehj)

181 The excitement for me rivals the announcement of the Arch Deluxe.

Posted by: @JohnTant at June 01, 2015 12:23 PM (eytER)

182 I can't remember being this excited since pixy updated and gave us the awesome error 500.

Posted by: RWC - Team BOHICA at June 01, 2015 12:23 PM (fWAjv)

183 I haven't been this excited since we got toilet paper at the State Store in Moscow!

Posted by: Sergi Valiszistov at June 01, 2015 12:24 PM (eOpVe)

184 I haven't been this excited since New Coke came out.

Posted by: Lindsay Graham at June 01, 2015 12:24 PM (UnJ7w)

185 I haven't been this excited since I learned that George Lucas had agreed to direct Howard the Duck.

Posted by: Chupacabras at June 01, 2015 12:24 PM (kZVsz)

186 Shemp Smith on the Graham announcement. "People have not been this excited1" Starts waving hands. "Since the Edsel cam out!"

Posted by: Anna Puma (+SmuD) at June 01, 2015 12:24 PM (+WOB8)

187 Two Weeks

Posted by: Miss Teen U.S. America at June 01, 2015 12:24 PM (Dwehj)

188 Have been this exited since my wife took a sleeping pill on our wedding night.

Posted by: wrg500 at June 01, 2015 12:24 PM (C278+)

189 Would it not be faster to note who is not running for president?


(Note: I am not concerned by the number of people in the race because a few will drop out after Iowa, more after New Hampshire, and by the time South Carolina comes around it will be down to the real contenders and Santorum.)

Posted by: Mikey NTH - The Outrage Outlet Salutes All Who Have Protected Our American Right To Gripe! at June 01, 2015 12:24 PM (hLRSq)

190 I haven't been this exited since the introduction of Jar Jar Binks.

Posted by: RWC - Team BOHICA at June 01, 2015 12:24 PM (fWAjv)

191 I haven't been this excited since Olive Garden gave me food poisoning on Valentines day.

Posted by: Tilikum Killer Assault Whale at June 01, 2015 12:25 PM (m3iiU)

192 Have been this exited since my wife took a sleeping pill on our wedding night.
Posted by: wrg500 at June 01, 2015 12:24 PM (C278+)

----

Call me....

Posted by: Bill Cosby at June 01, 2015 12:25 PM (8XRCm)

193 188
Have been this exited since my wife took a sleeping pill on our wedding night.

Posted by: wrg500 at June 01, 2015 12:24 PM (C278+)

i haven't been this excited since my mother in law came on my honeymoon......

Posted by: phoenixgirl at June 01, 2015 12:25 PM (0O7c5)

194 Carly has company. But unlike Carly, this little bitch is a media whore and sellout. +spit+

Posted by: John Doe@AnotherQuidam at June 01, 2015 12:25 PM (g1MTt)

195 I haven't been this excited since America elected it's first African American president.

Posted by: RWC - Team BOHICA at June 01, 2015 12:25 PM (fWAjv)

196 I also am running for President!

Posted by: Jar Jar Binks at June 01, 2015 12:25 PM (F7PsT)

197 @gaypatriot says he will endorse Graham


If


He

Will

resign from the Senate to run

Posted by: tmitsss at June 01, 2015 12:26 PM (1nj96)

198 Well, at least he's not one of those filthy flyover socons.

Posted by: Mr. Foo Foo at June 01, 2015 12:26 PM (Dwehj)

199 I haven't been this excited since the fundamental transformation of America.

Posted by: RWC - Team BOHICA at June 01, 2015 12:26 PM (fWAjv)

200
173 I like the idea of this being a great way to get him out of the senate. Didn't he have a good primary challenger last time?
Posted by: Burn the Witch at June 01, 2015 12:22 PM (xSCb6)


Brilliant!

Posted by: Senator John McCain 2008 Presidential Candidate still a Senator at June 01, 2015 12:26 PM (zt+N6)

201 I would like to be ambassador to either Bermuda or New Zealand. Yes, there will be some "incidents" but it's not like we have to worry about an attack from radical Bernudians in funny shorts.

Posted by: JackStraw at June 01, 2015 12:26 PM (g1DWB)

202 Posted by: phoenixgirl at June 01, 2015 12:25 PM (0O7c5)

If your mother in law came on your honeymoon, You were doing it wrong.

Posted by: Bitter Clinger and All That at June 01, 2015 12:26 PM (zRby/)

203 I keep pinching myself to make sure I'm not dreaming, ahh.

Posted by: Arson Wells at June 01, 2015 12:26 PM (UnJ7w)

204 My next stop will be to speak to Yogi and Boo-boo at Jellystone park.

Paid for summer vacay FTW.

Posted by: Lindsay Grham at June 01, 2015 12:26 PM (81UWZ)

205 The last time I was this excited was when I called a radio show and got two free tickets to see Nickelback.

Posted by: @JohnTant at June 01, 2015 12:26 PM (eytER)

206 Since GM introduced the Aztec.

Posted by: Ricardo Kill at June 01, 2015 12:26 PM (LA7Cm)

207 This is just like Arbor Day!

Posted by: Inspector Cussword at June 01, 2015 12:26 PM (Ze7RU)

208 I haven't been this excited since the Redskins picked up RGIII's option.

Posted by: MacGruber at June 01, 2015 12:26 PM (S+el1)

209 I just received confirmation from Ulf in Paraguay that the necessaries are in place therefore I am now accepting applications for Cabinet positions.

Once the initial application process has cleared, applicants will receive instructions on how to access the Proving Grounds for state II of the vetting process.

Posted by: alexthechick - Oh please intervene SMOD at June 01, 2015 12:27 PM (mf5HN)

210 Trigger Warning: Do NOT GO to Drudge. The Bruce Jenner photo can never be unseen.

Posted by: MTF at June 01, 2015 12:27 PM (DkJ4E)

211 196 I also am running for President!

Posted by: Jar Jar Binks at June 01, 2015 12:25 PM (F7PsT)



That was rather clean and articulate for your kind.

Posted by: RWC - Team BOHICA at June 01, 2015 12:27 PM (fWAjv)

212
Fuck that warmongering pickle smoocher.

Posted by: Soothsayer at June 01, 2015 12:27 PM (TJbU1)

213 Posted by: alexthechick - Oh please intervene SMOD at June 01, 2015 12:02 PM (mf5HN)

You'd be elected on Tuesday and we'd be at war with the rest of the world by Friday noon.


I'm investing in bunkers.

Posted by: Mikey NTH - The Outrage Outlet Salutes All Who Have Protected Our American Right To Gripe! at June 01, 2015 12:27 PM (hLRSq)

214 *clambers on soapbox*

Posted by: alexthechick - Oh please intervene SMOD at June 01, 2015 12:02 PM (mf5HN)


You misspelled "matchbox".

Posted by: physics geek at June 01, 2015 12:27 PM (MT22W)

215 >>Go on . . . .


You throw the dodgeball at the head of any reporter who asks you a stupid question.

*I* would watch every press conference if those were the rules.

Posted by: Lizzy at June 01, 2015 12:27 PM (UJir/)

216 202
Posted by: phoenixgirl at June 01, 2015 12:25 PM (0O7c5)

If your mother in law came on your honeymoon, You were doing it wrong.


Posted by: Bitter Clinger and All That at June 01, 2015 12:26 PM (zRby/)

that was the beginning of the long decline

Posted by: phoenixgirl at June 01, 2015 12:27 PM (0O7c5)

217 Posted by: Senator John McCain 2008 Presidential Candidate still a Senator at June 01, 2015 12:26 PM (zt+N6)



Call it a missed opportunity.

Posted by: Burn the Witch at June 01, 2015 12:27 PM (xSCb6)

218 >>I love the crease in AtC's pantlegs.

SHE'S WEARING PANTS?

Oh la di da, I guess she's gotten all fancy now that she's a candidate.

Posted by: Mama AJ, back to the SMOD camp at June 01, 2015 12:28 PM (0xTsz)

219 Perhaps he will resign so we will not have to put up with his ass until 2020. I suspect a lot of Democrats voted for him in the primary.

Posted by: Vic We Have No Party at June 01, 2015 12:28 PM (GpgJl)

220 Yeah! Just what this country needs, "leadership" under that turd. What's he plan to give away next, Canada?

Posted by: flounder at June 01, 2015 12:28 PM (ecDRv)

221 I haven't been this excited since I got a new laptop with (freakin') Windows 8 on it.

Posted by: Lizzy at June 01, 2015 12:29 PM (UJir/)

222 "If I'm president of the United States and you're thinking about joining Al Qaeda or ISIL, I'm not going to call a judge," he said. 'I'm going to call a drone, and we will kill you."

So, no due process then. Though if you read the article in the morning thread, due process has become a farce anyway, so that right is gone either way.

alexthechick 2016

Posted by: despair at June 01, 2015 12:29 PM (J6suc)

223 SHE'S WEARING PANTS?

Oh la di da, I guess she's gotten all fancy now that she's a candidate.

Posted by: Mama AJ, back to the SMOD camp at June 01, 2015 12:28 PM (0xTsz)

----

Well.... to be fair..... Ive seen longer split skirts.....

Posted by: fixerupper at June 01, 2015 12:29 PM (8XRCm)

224 I haven't be this excited since Paul Lind's last performance as 'Center Square' on Hollywood Squares.

Posted by: weft cut-loop at June 01, 2015 12:29 PM (uctT+)

225 I haven't anticipated an event this much since Benji got spayed.

Posted by: Old chairs from The View at June 01, 2015 12:29 PM (NeFrd)

226 Lizzy, you are making a strong showing to be Press Secretary.

You'd be elected on Tuesday and we'd be at war with the rest of the world by Friday noon.


I'm investing in bunkers.
Posted by: Mikey NTH - The Outrage Outlet Salutes All Who Have Protected Our American Right To Gripe! at June 01, 2015 12:27 PM (hLRSq)


That is so mean!

I would wait until Inauguration Day. I have *manners*.

Posted by: alexthechick - Oh please intervene SMOD at June 01, 2015 12:29 PM (mf5HN)

227 41
Might I humbly suggest instead weekly press executions, Your Majesty???

Posted by: Tex Lovera at June 01, 2015 12:13 PM (wtvvX)



Execution is such a harsh term.



I prefer seeing the Darwinian process in action. It's a Teaching Moment. For The Children.

Posted by: alexthechick - Oh please intervene SMOD at June 01, 2015 12:17 PM (mf5HN)

Well, I think teaching should involve some fun, personally. Soooo....
How about we put the press corps in the middle of a pit, with three ladders on one said, and release several Grizzly Bears on the other side? The fittest ones would get up the ladders first! #Darwinian!!!!

Posted by: Tex Lovera at June 01, 2015 12:29 PM (wtvvX)

228 209 I just received confirmation from Ulf in Paraguay that the necessaries are in place therefore I am now accepting applications for Cabinet positions.

Once the initial application process has cleared, applicants will receive instructions on how to access the Proving Grounds for state II of the vetting process.
Posted by: alexthechick - Oh please intervene SMOD at June 01, 2015 12:27 PM (mf5HN)

Uh, is there any pain involved?

Posted by: joncelli at June 01, 2015 12:29 PM (RD7QR)

229 I like the suggestion on the Podcast. Just have Fox announce now who they are going to be giving a tv show and jobs too so those guys can drop out.

Posted by: buzzion at June 01, 2015 12:30 PM (zt+N6)

230 Oh man, I would love to have the helium franchise supplying Lindsey Graham's campaign.

Posted by: Muldoon, a solid man at June 01, 2015 12:30 PM (NeFrd)

231 You throw the dodgeball at the head of any reporter who asks you a stupid question.>>>

How about a auto targeting pitching machine (hardball) instead of dodgeballs?

Posted by: Buzzsaw at June 01, 2015 12:30 PM (81UWZ)

232 That Oval Office needs a splash of color take out those walls...FABULOUS!

Posted by: Miss Lindsey at June 01, 2015 12:30 PM (9QUPT)

233 Wow. The extent of improvements in makeup (or photoshop) are simply amazing.

If you're old and crumbling or a man; hire that cosmetologist, stat.

Posted by: Bitter Clinger and All That at June 01, 2015 12:31 PM (zRby/)

234 173 I like the idea of this being a great way to get him out of the senate. Didn't he have a good primary challenger last time?

Posted by: Burn the Witch at June 01, 2015 12:22 PM (xSCb6)



Brilliant!

Posted by: Senator John McCain 2008 Presidential Candidate still a Senator
The difference is, McCain went on to actually be the Presidential nominee and I think there was still a lot of goodwill there 2 years later (but not from me)
Graham is obviously not going to be the Presidential nominee and I could easily see him losing his home state Primary as well. This vanity campaign could be incredibly embarassing and end him. He's going to be losing to people like Santorum and Huckabee

Posted by: McAdams at June 01, 2015 12:31 PM (qBmEy)

235 I haven't been this excited since they announced they were making Rocky V!!

Posted by: DangerGirl at June 01, 2015 12:31 PM (hpmES)

236 I personally believe that U.S. Americans are excited about Senator Graham because, uh,...

Posted by: Lauren Upton at June 01, 2015 12:31 PM (eOpVe)

237 I haven't been this excited since Lindsey Lohan's pimp er agent announced she's back in rehab.

Posted by: Wonkish Rogue at June 01, 2015 12:31 PM (hLs7M)

238 173 I like the idea of this being a great way to get him out of the senate. Didn't he have a good primary challenger last time?

Posted by: Burn the Witch at June 01, 2015 12:22 PM (xSCb6)


Not really he won by more than 50%. Didn't even have to have a run-off. The last primary he didn't get 50%.

Posted by: Vic We Have No Party at June 01, 2015 12:31 PM (GpgJl)

239 Uh, is there any pain involved?

Posted by: joncelli at June 01, 2015 12:29 PM (RD7QR)

Not for AtC.

Posted by: wrg500 at June 01, 2015 12:31 PM (C278+)

240 Lindsay Graham and the new KFC ads with an actor playing Col. Sanders. Two days in a row - wow.

Posted by: An Observation at June 01, 2015 12:31 PM (Hv5Rk)

241 With AlextheChick as President, the White House Press Secretary will be armed with a CO2 powered paint-ball gun to deal with stupid questions.

Posted by: Anna Puma (+SmuD) at June 01, 2015 12:32 PM (+WOB8)

242 I like the idea of dog catcher Lindsay Graham, maybe sewer inspector. That's about the extent of power I'd extend him.

Every time someone posts on that rape statement by Bernie Sanders, its on east coast time so its 3 posts back by the time I even wake up. So I'm gonna post here.

From what I've read, rape fantasies are among the top five sexual fantasies among women. That's not a particularly controversial position - its not that they actually want to be really raped, its just a fantasy. Some women probably have no interest in it, but you can get a hint of how popular this fantasy is by bodice ripper novels and romance movies where the guy violently seizes the girl, rips her clothes, 'bruises her lips' with such a rough kiss, yadda yadda. Its like how in a romance, its perfectly fine for rich, charming hunk du jour to basically stalk the girl to show his love and dedication, but no woman wants a guy to be stalking her for real.

But guys do not fantasize about rape. That's not even in the top 10, unless there's something really wrong with you. I mean, seriously, fantasies sex with an animal ranks higher, and that's twisted enough (don't laugh or go ew ladies, its in the top 5 for women. This is about fantasies, not genuine lusts or inclination).

And that's where the problems start, for me. Sanders basically thinks most guys want to rape a woman and that's just not true, at any level. No way.

Posted by: Christopher Taylor at June 01, 2015 12:32 PM (39g3+)

243 I love the crease in AtC's pantlegs.

SHE'S WEARING PANTS?

****


Technically, shorts.

Posted by: Muldoon, a solid man at June 01, 2015 12:32 PM (NeFrd)

244 Well, I think teaching should involve some fun, personally. Soooo....
How about we put the press corps in the middle of a pit, with three ladders on one said, and release several Grizzly Bears on the other side? The fittest ones would get up the ladders first! #Darwinian!!!!
Posted by: Tex Lovera at June 01, 2015 12:29 PM (wtvvX)


You left out the bit about the Zombeavers coming down the ladders at the same time but, yes, something like that.

Posted by: alexthechick - Oh please intervene SMOD at June 01, 2015 12:32 PM (mf5HN)

245 Here;s the method - Bad teacher = Atc, kids = MSM (imagine they're asking stupid questions):

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XyO635BBySM

Posted by: Lizzy at June 01, 2015 12:33 PM (UJir/)

246 How about we put the press corps in the middle of a pit, with three ladders on one said, and release several Grizzly Bears on the other side? The fittest ones would get up the ladders first! #Darwinian!!!!

Posted by: Tex Lovera at June 01, 2015 12:29 PM (wtvvX)


NOOOOOOOOO !!!!!!!

Posted by: Candy "Cruller" Crowley at June 01, 2015 12:33 PM (fWAjv)

247 SHE'S WEARING PANTS?

****


Technically, shorts.

Posted by: Muldoon, a solid man at June 01, 2015 12:32 PM (NeFrd)


Boxers in heels, briefs otherwise.

Posted by: physics geek at June 01, 2015 12:33 PM (MT22W)

248 I haven't been this excited since the premiere of Hudson Hawk.

Posted by: Lindsay Graham's Dad at June 01, 2015 12:33 PM (zF6Iw)

249 Gosh. Who will be next? If Susan Collins jumps in, it'll be like Groundhog Day combined with the hustle and bustle of Leif Erikson Day! With tits!

Posted by: Inspector Cussword at June 01, 2015 12:33 PM (Ze7RU)

250 Culottes are right out...

Posted by: Anna Puma (+SmuD) at June 01, 2015 12:33 PM (+WOB8)

251 Technically, shorts.

Posted by: Muldoon, a solid man at June 01, 2015 12:32 PM (NeFrd)


Well, the terms are different for little people. Really little people.

Posted by: Circa (Insert Year Here) at June 01, 2015 12:34 PM (659DL)

252
And video of Graham's announcement:

https://youtu.be/suzwaW_SqtU?t=15s

Posted by: Laurie David's Cervix at June 01, 2015 12:34 PM (kdS6q)

253 If Central, SC was any further north it would be in NC and he would be their problem.

Posted by: Vic We Have No Party at June 01, 2015 12:34 PM (GpgJl)

254 Someone has already pointed it out upthread but best guess is that Graham is locking down SC for Jeb Bush. An SC primary win has strategic importance, particularly for a strong conservative candidate like, say, Cruz. A favorite son candidate like Graham would effectively take it out of play, denying a conservative candidate the win.

If Graham's campaign is being bankrolled bydonors from the Bush network, then we'll know for sure.

Posted by: troyriser at June 01, 2015 12:34 PM (S08gh)

255 I mean, seriously, fantasies sex with an animal ranks higher, and that's twisted enough (don't laugh or go ew ladies, its in the top 5 for women.

Word.

Posted by: Lancelot Link, Secret Chimp at June 01, 2015 12:34 PM (zF6Iw)

256 You left out the bit about the Zombeavers coming down the ladders at the same time but, yes, something like that.

Posted by: alexthechick - Oh please intervene SMOD at June 01, 2015 12:32 PM (mf5HN)

Remembering the little details like that is why YOU are our Queen!!

Posted by: Tex Lovera at June 01, 2015 12:34 PM (wtvvX)

257 You left out the bit about the Zombeavers coming down the ladders at the same time but, yes, something like that.

Posted by: alexthechick - Oh please intervene SMOD at June 01, 2015 12:32 PM


Zombeavers? *ponders*

Posted by: RedMindBlueState at June 01, 2015 12:34 PM (h4vJk)

258 I haven't been this excited since the introduction of Sandra Dee on Scooby Doo.

Posted by: RWC - Team BOHICA at June 01, 2015 12:35 PM (fWAjv)

259 Well, the terms are different for little people. Really little people.
Posted by: Circa (Insert Year Here) at June 01, 2015 12:34 PM (659DL)

-----

Well..... shoe DOES have to have her capris shortened.

Posted by: fixerupper at June 01, 2015 12:35 PM (8XRCm)

260 I like the idea of the paint gun. They hurt a lot but can't kill. Have to give people eye protection though. Ya can put an eye out with those things.

I'd reserve it for really, really stupid questions though, the temptation to just cut loose all the time would be too great.

Posted by: Christopher Taylor at June 01, 2015 12:35 PM (39g3+)

261 SHE'S WEARING PANTS?
Technically, shorts.

Posted by: Muldoon, a solid man at June 01, 2015 12:32 PM (NeFrd)


she's outfitted from a Barbie doll collection

Posted by: wrg500 at June 01, 2015 12:35 PM (C278+)

262 And that's where the problems start, for me. Sanders basically thinks most guys want to rape a woman and that's just not true, at any level. No way.



Midget nympho that owns a bar.

Posted by: rickb223 at June 01, 2015 12:35 PM (Gv8zm)

263 ***"Not really he won by more than 50%. Didn't even have to have a run-off. The last primary he didn't get 50%."***



I meant from a conservative perspective. I knew he wasn't going to lose, but IIRC his best challenger was far more desirable.

Posted by: Burn the Witch at June 01, 2015 12:35 PM (xSCb6)

264 OT, but Jason Kipnis is teh awesomest.


This has been your Cleveland Indians Appreciation Moment. You may now rise back off your knees and resume standing.

Posted by: MTF at June 01, 2015 12:35 PM (DkJ4E)

265 *flamesthrows everyone but Lizzy*


Posted by: alexthechick - Oh please intervene SMOD at June 01, 2015 12:36 PM (mf5HN)

266 Finally. A president that Putin and Iran will take seriously.

Posted by: some random meathead at June 01, 2015 12:36 PM (9QUPT)

267 Jodhpurs on every ass, Swagger sticks in every hand.
Graham 2016

Posted by: weft cut-loop at June 01, 2015 12:36 PM (uctT+)

268 Midget nympho that owns a bar.

So... you're Kevin Klein's character from Silverado?

Posted by: Christopher Taylor at June 01, 2015 12:36 PM (39g3+)

269 Posted by: alexthechick - Oh please intervene SMOD at June 01, 2015 12:29 PM (mf5HN)


You say "mean" I say "sober assessment of probabilities".


BTW - thanks for the heads-up with respect to completion and move-in dates. I appreciate that.

Okay, where'd I put the keys to the back-hoe?

Posted by: Mikey NTH - The Outrage Outlet Salutes All Who Have Protected Our American Right To Gripe! at June 01, 2015 12:36 PM (hLRSq)

270 ll aborad thwe Lindsay train!

Posted by: Baldy at June 01, 2015 12:36 PM (sEXjW)

271 How does this guy keep getting re-elected. He's clearly playing for the other team on everything except the WoT.

Posted by: 18-1 at June 01, 2015 12:36 PM (78TbK)

272 Zombeavers? *ponders*



1 star movie on netflix

Posted by: rickb223 at June 01, 2015 12:36 PM (Gv8zm)

273 You left out the bit about the Zombeavers coming down the ladders at the same time but, yes, something like that.

Posted by: alexthechick - Oh please intervene SMOD at June 01, 2015 12:32 PM

Zombeavers is a 'recommended' title for me on Netflix. No shit.

Posted by: RWC - Team BOHICA at June 01, 2015 12:36 PM (fWAjv)

274 But Christopher Taylor to watch the press corps stagger out looking like a Jackson Pollack painting. Every day.

I would be greatly amused.

Posted by: Anna Puma (+SmuD) at June 01, 2015 12:37 PM (+WOB8)

275 Great. Now we have the Killer Fascist Drama Queen Lunatic part of the field covered.

Posted by: Stu-22 at June 01, 2015 12:37 PM (vd4oB)

276 If you slow down the sound track on a Lindsey Graham speech he sounds just like the mayor of Munchkinland.

Posted by: Muldoon, a solid man at June 01, 2015 12:37 PM (NeFrd)

277 Since it was announced the original Duke boys were coming back to the show.

Posted by: Ricardo Kill at June 01, 2015 12:37 PM (LA7Cm)

278 This is as exciting as getting the full collection of "Wings" albums for a gift! Yes! I do realize I just compared Senator Graham to the musical genius of Linda "Tamborine" McCartney! And I stand by that! He's Just That Awesome!

Posted by: Inspector Cussword at June 01, 2015 12:37 PM (Ze7RU)

279 Zombeaver


http://tinyurl.com/numo5mw

Posted by: RWC - Team BOHICA at June 01, 2015 12:37 PM (fWAjv)

280 I can't be the only one who thinks Lindsey is running as McCain: the awful sequel.

Posted by: Mallamutt, RINO President for Life at June 01, 2015 12:38 PM (/HC6x)

281 271
How does this guy keep getting re-elected. He's clearly playing for the other team on everything except the WoT.


Posted by: 18-1 at June 01, 2015 12:36 PM (78TbK)

The only explanation is fraud or cross-over Democrat votes.

Posted by: Vic We Have No Party at June 01, 2015 12:38 PM (GpgJl)

282 "1 star movie on Netflix"



Any shower or skinny-dipping scenes?

Posted by: Ricardo Kill at June 01, 2015 12:38 PM (LA7Cm)

283 "Call Me Caitlyn"


Like any other red-blooded American boy in 1976, I looked at Bruce Jenner as a hero. The Greatest Athlete in the World.

I will not call him/her "Caitlyn."

I will call him/her The Creepiest Freakshow in the World.

Posted by: Citizen X at June 01, 2015 12:38 PM (7ObY1)

284 Flamethrower? Glad am the ambassador to Japan. Yikes Hot time in the thread.

Posted by: Anna Puma (+SmuD) at June 01, 2015 12:38 PM (+WOB8)

285 I like dyke
Graham 2016

Posted by: weft cut-loop at June 01, 2015 12:38 PM (uctT+)

286 Great. Now we have the Killer Fascist Drama Queen Lunatic part of the field covered.

Posted by: Stu-22 at June 01, 2015 12:37 PM (vd4oB)

Lindsey or AtC?

Posted by: wrg500 at June 01, 2015 12:38 PM (C278+)

287 Everybody I know hates him.

Posted by: Vic We Have No Party at June 01, 2015 12:38 PM (GpgJl)

288 That VF cover is a joke. It's all photo shop. Now he has boobs? Before it was just hormones but now they are implants. This is getting ridiculous. He is not ever going to be a good looking woman. And considering his age, it will get worse.

Posted by: Bruce with a Wang! at June 01, 2015 12:38 PM (iQIUe)

289 Zombeavers is a 'recommended' title for me on Netflix. No shit.

Posted by: RWC - Team BOHICA at June 01, 2015 12:36 PM


Wait....that's an actual thing? Ok...I got nuthin'.

Posted by: RedMindBlueState at June 01, 2015 12:39 PM (h4vJk)

290 Any shower or skinny-dipping scenes?



Yes.

Posted by: rickb223 at June 01, 2015 12:39 PM (Gv8zm)

291 During AtC's reign thigh-high boots and short leather skirts will be the fashion. Yup, small government, press executions and leather.

This is going to be a great eight years for America and the world.

Posted by: MTF at June 01, 2015 12:39 PM (DkJ4E)

292 this is not the candidate we were looking for

Posted by: phoenixgirl at June 01, 2015 12:39 PM (0O7c5)

293 Maybe the people in his district are just idiots

Posted by: Christopher Taylor at June 01, 2015 12:40 PM (39g3+)

294 We're number two!
We're number two!

Posted by: GOP at June 01, 2015 12:40 PM (9QUPT)

295 Any shower or skinny-dipping scenes?

Posted by: Ricardo Kill at June 01, 2015 12:38 PM (LA7Cm)


College friends find their weekend of sex and debauchery ruined when deadly zombie beavers swarm their riverside cabin.


So probably.

Posted by: RWC - Team BOHICA at June 01, 2015 12:40 PM (fWAjv)

296 Great. Now we have the Killer Fascist Drama Queen Lunatic part of the field covered.

Posted by: Stu-22 at June 01, 2015 12:37 PM (vd4oB)



Yeah Alex is something, isn't she?

Posted by: Mikey NTH - The Outrage Outlet Salutes All Who Have Protected Our American Right To Gripe! at June 01, 2015 12:40 PM (hLRSq)

297 OT, but Jason Kipnis is teh awesomest.


This has been your Cleveland Indians Appreciation Moment. You may now rise back off your knees and resume standing.
Posted by: MTF at June 01, 2015 12:35 PM (DkJ4E)


*fistbump*

Also I'm just going to reflamethrow everyone else again for what I know will be said.

Posted by: alexthechick - Oh please intervene SMOD at June 01, 2015 12:40 PM (mf5HN)

298 Sanders basically thinks most guys want to rape a woman and that's just not true, at any level. No way.

American guys. The cultures where women are livestock and men are told they're entitled to take whatever they want from any woman who isn't bagged up and locked down, OTOH...

Posted by: HR braucht ein Bier at June 01, 2015 12:40 PM (ZKzrr)

299 another DIABLO...

nope.

just nope.

Posted by: redc1c4 at June 01, 2015 12:40 PM (yi8ar)

300 Posted by: MTF at June 01, 2015 12:39 PM (DkJ4E)

So, toe mirrors make a comeback.

Posted by: wrg500 at June 01, 2015 12:40 PM (C278+)

301 This is all rino kabuki. When the democrats and Washington City Propaganda Ministry decide who the 'republican' candidate will be, they will inform the rinos. My candidate is Ted Cruz. If he is not the choice, I will write him in.

Posted by: Eromero at June 01, 2015 12:40 PM (go5uR)

302 I haven't been this excited since Roseanne Barr filed for divorce from Tom Arnold.

Posted by: booter at June 01, 2015 12:40 PM (Lg1F3)

303 Wait....that's an actual thing? Ok...I got nuthin'.



IIRC, it's Zombiebeavers. Cause by medical waste being accidentally dropped into their pond.

Posted by: rickb223 at June 01, 2015 12:41 PM (Gv8zm)

304 Caitlyn? Wtf is he, twelve?

Posted by: DangerGirl at June 01, 2015 12:41 PM (hpmES)

305 Zombie Piranha is probably legit also as a movie.

Posted by: Anna Puma (+SmuD) at June 01, 2015 12:41 PM (+WOB8)

306
Ummmm no.


The pic of Jenner over at Drudge looks suspiciously like Rene Russo.....

Posted by: fixerupper at June 01, 2015 12:41 PM (8XRCm)

307 >>Maybe the people in his district are just idiots

His district is the state of SC.

Posted by: JackStraw at June 01, 2015 12:41 PM (g1DWB)

308 I'm certain I just offended some Moron named Caitlyn.

Posted by: DangerGirl at June 01, 2015 12:42 PM (hpmES)

309 There's a zombie grade school kids movie called "Cooties" out there. I really wish the zombie apocalypse thing would just go away, it always was the dumbest idea ever.

Most of them aren't zombies anyway, they're ghouls but I don't want to go on a geek rant.

Posted by: Christopher Taylor at June 01, 2015 12:42 PM (39g3+)

310 I might vote for Graham if he were to drop trou and lay a cleveland steamer on obama's desk in the Oval Office. Maybe.

Posted by: Arson Wells at June 01, 2015 12:42 PM (UnJ7w)

311 WAR, goo-GAH, what isn't it good for?!
Graham 2016

Posted by: weft cut-loop at June 01, 2015 12:42 PM (uctT+)

312 Oh this is just Fabulous!!
The GOP now has five Senators, two ex governors, a CEO and a Neurosurgeon in the race.
Me, I'd like to see a sitting governor from the upper Midwest. Somebody who's taken on some tough political opponents while in office; maybe run in several hotly contested high profile elections.
Of course he has to be a college graduate too.

Posted by: Jim in Virginia at June 01, 2015 12:42 PM (tQt1U)

313 Bless you. my queen

*checks behind self to be sure there isn't a tarp

Posted by: Lizzy at June 01, 2015 12:42 PM (UJir/)

314 Posted by: alexthechick - Oh please intervene SMOD at June 01, 2015 12:40 PM (mf5HN)

Cleveland Indians.....team full of catchers.

Posted by: wrg500 at June 01, 2015 12:42 PM (C278+)

315 Great. Now we have the Killer Fascist Drama Queen Lunatic part of the field covered.

Posted by: Stu-22



Theatre majors most excited.

Posted by: rickb223 at June 01, 2015 12:42 PM (Gv8zm)

316 Well there will be plenty of jobs open to kill people.

Posted by: Dack Thrombosis at June 01, 2015 12:42 PM (oFCZn)

317 It would be nice if Graham, Jeb, and Fiorina manage to confuse the establishment primary voters long enough to allow a Tea Party conservative to get some momentum. Maybe Cruz, although I'm beginning to find his earnest tone grating. His vote for the Patriot Act was kind of stupid though. Playing to the wrong base there, Ted.

Posted by: Ummberto Echo at June 01, 2015 12:42 PM (f/Al9)

318 I haven't been this excited since "New Coke" was rolled out.

Posted by: Mallamutt, RINO President for Life at June 01, 2015 12:42 PM (/HC6x)

319 Every time someone posts on that rape statement by Bernie Sanders, its on east coast time so its 3 posts back by the time I even wake up. So I'm gonna post here.

It makes more sense when you substitute "taxpayer" for "woman".

Posted by: Bernie the bolshie at June 01, 2015 12:42 PM (Spluw)

320 #144, if his two friends look like my French art instructor in college and her dreamy husband, I could be persuaded.

Put that in your pipe and smoke it, you Reich-wing homophobic hater.

Posted by: Mary Cloggenstein from Brattleboro, Vermont at June 01, 2015 12:42 PM (KPj2t)

321 Star of 'Zombeavers'


http://tinyurl.com/qewx7hu


I really should give that movie a shot.

Posted by: RWC - Team BOHICA at June 01, 2015 12:43 PM (fWAjv)

322 IIRC, it's Zombiebeavers. Cause by medical waste being accidentally dropped into their pond.
Posted by: rickb223 at June 01, 2015 12:41 PM (Gv8zm)



No, it's Zombeavers.

http://zombeavers.com/

And, yes, Netflix really really really thinks I want to watch that. Of course I do! I'm kind of insulted at all the reminders about it.

Posted by: alexthechick - Oh please intervene SMOD at June 01, 2015 12:43 PM (mf5HN)

323 The pic of Jenner over at Drudge looks suspiciously like Rene Russo.....

Well she always looked suspiciously like a dude with hoots to me anyway. And a crescent moon profile.

Posted by: Christopher Taylor at June 01, 2015 12:43 PM (39g3+)

324 I'll call Lindsay Graham "Caitlyn".

Posted by: Furious George at June 01, 2015 12:43 PM (UlJ3l)

325 I have this vision of ATC in her mid thigh, high heel, size 00, leather boots curb stomping Teh Hillary! - then really rubbing it in by stealing her girlfriend.

ATC 2016

Posted by: An Observation at June 01, 2015 12:43 PM (Hv5Rk)

326 302 I haven't been this excited since Roseanne Barr filed for divorce from Tom Arnold.
========================

Wait, wut?!

Posted by: Tom Arnold's Frustrated Girlfriend at June 01, 2015 12:43 PM (DkJ4E)

327 There is no way I'm voting for Graham. I'll vote for Sanders first, as least he's honest about hating people different from himself.

Posted by: Null at June 01, 2015 12:44 PM (xREOo)

328 if his two friends look like my French art instructor in college and her dreamy husband, I could be persuaded. Put that in your pipe and smoke it, you Reich-wing homophobic hater.
Posted by: Mary Cloggenstein from Brattleboro, Vermont
Your goats will be sad to learn that you're cheatin'

Posted by: Bernie the bolshie at June 01, 2015 12:44 PM (Spluw)

329 Well Cooties stars Elija 'Precious' Wood. And its the chicken McNuggets.

I guess we could always dig out of the VHS bin The Stuff. Or the anime High School of the Dead.

https://youtu.be/08R-c8Hid_E

Posted by: Anna Puma (+SmuD) at June 01, 2015 12:44 PM (+WOB8)

330
*scans patronage jobs in alextopia*

Ah. This will work.

Posted by: Bandersnatch, Lord Guardian, Protector, and Moisturizer to The Rack at June 01, 2015 12:45 PM (JtwS4)

331 I think Lindsey Graham would make a fabulous President.

Posted by: Jay Guevara at June 01, 2015 12:45 PM (oKE6c)

332 327 There is no way I'm voting for Graham. I'll vote for Sanders first, as least he's honest about hating people different from himself.

Posted by: Null at June 01, 2015 12:44 PM (xREOo)


A vote for Bernie means you get a free rape.

Posted by: Dack Thrombosis at June 01, 2015 12:45 PM (oFCZn)

333 "So probably."


Sweet.

Posted by: Ricardo Kill at June 01, 2015 12:45 PM (LA7Cm)

334

test

Posted by: Tex Lovera at June 01, 2015 12:45 PM (wtvvX)

335 I haven't been this excited since 'The View' got new chairs for the ladies to sit on.

****


Did they re-upholster the Whoopi cushion?

Posted by: Muldoon, a solid man at June 01, 2015 12:45 PM (NeFrd)

336 My candidate is Ted Cruz. If he is not the choice, I will write him in.
***
I think conservative communities, including AoS, should put together a list of candidates like JEB and Lady Lindsey that we won't vote for.

Let the RINOs know that if they force one of these people on us that they will not get to control Obama's Leviathan which is what they want to do through JEB.

Of course if I as I had suggested we all refused to vote for Mitt Romneycare in 2012 this wouldn't be an issue. The RINOs would know we were serious and would actually be standing up to Obama, if only to save their own jobs.

Posted by: 18-1 at June 01, 2015 12:45 PM (78TbK)

337
I might vote for Graham if he were to drop trou and lay a cleveland steamer on obama's desk in the Oval Office. Maybe.
Posted by: Arson Wells at June 01, 2015 12:42 PM (UnJ7w)
.......................................................
Bonus points if he makes it a coyote omelette.

Posted by: wth at June 01, 2015 12:46 PM (wAQA5)

338 Posted by: Bandersnatch, Lord Guardian, Protector, and Moisturizer to The Rack at June 01, 2015 12:45 PM (JtwS4)

Ahhh, which rack?

Posted by: wrg500 at June 01, 2015 12:46 PM (C278+)

339 The cultures where women are livestock and men are told they're entitled to take whatever they want from any woman who isn't bagged up and locked down,




So, islam then?

Posted by: rickb223 at June 01, 2015 12:46 PM (Gv8zm)

340 Zombeavers. Summarized thusly on imdb.com:

"A fun weekend turns into madness and horror for a bunch of groupies looking for fun in a beaver infested swamp."

*insert your own beaver-infested swamp joke here*

Posted by: RedMindBlueState at June 01, 2015 12:46 PM (h4vJk)

341 >>The pic of Jenner over at Drudge looks suspiciously like Rene Russo.....

Unpossible - Renee is da bomb

Also the pose make him (her?) look like a captive. Weird.

Posted by: Lizzy at June 01, 2015 12:47 PM (UJir/)

342 Cooties looked mildly interesting but it took 99% of the fear in zombie movies away by making the disease non-communicable to adults. So they have no real reason to run away from the little kids.

Posted by: Christopher Taylor at June 01, 2015 12:47 PM (39g3+)

343 Bonus points if he makes it a coyote omelette.
Posted by: wth at June 01, 2015 12:46 PM (wAQA5)

----

What's a coyo....... wait.... nevermind.

Do.Not.Want.To.Know.

Posted by: fixerupper at June 01, 2015 12:47 PM (8XRCm)

344 Who goes to these rallies of candidates that have neither chance nor clue? Are they paid ? Are they drunk? Are they paid in alcohol so they will be drunk? Who is telling Graham to run ? Who claims they would vote for him ? Its the mirror image of the Sanders rollout (old, fat, white people showed up for that - does that imply socialist voters are old, fat and white?). I felt the same way watching the Santorum and Huckabee rollout. Why would anyone possibly show up ?

I don't get it. I know, I Know. "You were not put on this earth to 'get it' Mistah Burton".

Posted by: What, me worry? at June 01, 2015 12:47 PM (vDEpI)

345
Ahhh, which rack?

The Rack, when capitalized, refers to The Rack.

There be only one.

Posted by: Bandersnatch, Lord Guardian, Protector, and Moisturizer to The Rack at June 01, 2015 12:47 PM (JtwS4)

346 Lindsey's mom loves my chicken!

Posted by: Zombie Colonel Sanders at June 01, 2015 12:47 PM (8uhgy)

347 So Sanders compared his rape fantasy essay to "50 Shades of Grey"??

That's the problem with capitalism. Too many choices. If we only had one or two shades of grey we could totally feed all the starving children.

Posted by: Muldoon, a solid man at June 01, 2015 12:47 PM (NeFrd)

348 A vote for Bernie means you get a free rape.
___
Hey Hilary are you sure you wouldn't be ok with being VP this time around? This Sanders guy has some really interesting ideas.

Posted by: Bill Clinton at June 01, 2015 12:47 PM (78TbK)

349 Countdown clock to the Al Gore Steamroller Candidacy has begun.

Posted by: MTF at June 01, 2015 12:47 PM (DkJ4E)

350 he voted to confirm holder, sotomayor, kagan, and lynch

hes a scumbag


Posted by: sound awake at June 01, 2015 12:47 PM (X3/E7)

351 "The pic of Jenner over at Drudge looks suspiciously like Rene Russo....."



No shit. It's uncanny.

Posted by: Ricardo Kill at June 01, 2015 12:48 PM (LA7Cm)

352 No one can ever accuse Miss Lindsay of having waged a war on women, so, he's got that going for him.

Posted by: fly gal at June 01, 2015 12:48 PM (+OHMN)

353 Would this be AlextheChick's inauguration theme?

https://youtu.be/VEJ8lpCQbyw

Posted by: Anna Puma (+SmuD) at June 01, 2015 12:48 PM (+WOB8)

354
Sweet.

Posted by: Ricardo Kill at June 01, 2015 12:45 PM (LA7Cm)

Direct Ricardo Kill to post 321.


*she was Miss Illinois 2014. So maybe no ta-ta shots of her.

Posted by: RWC - Team BOHICA at June 01, 2015 12:48 PM (fWAjv)

355





I would like to be considered for the position of Commander of the Alextopia Corps of Engineers.

First project: Grizzly Pit with Zombeaver Ladders.

And there won't be any permits to pull, either.

Posted by: Tex Lovera at June 01, 2015 12:48 PM (wtvvX)

356 beaver infested swamp.

So this guy didn't waste any time at all actually learning about beavers before writing, then?

Posted by: Christopher Taylor at June 01, 2015 12:48 PM (39g3+)

357 The Rack, when capitalized, refers to The Rack.

There be only one.

Posted by: Bandersnatch, Lord Guardian, Protector, and Moisturizer to The Rack at June 01, 2015 12:47 PM (JtwS4)

So the torture device.

Posted by: wrg500 at June 01, 2015 12:48 PM (C278+)

358 *insert your own beaver-infested swamp joke here*

Posted by: RedMindBlueState at June 01, 2015 12:46 PM (h4vJk)


What is "The View", Alex?

Posted by: Mikey NTH - The Outrage Outlet Salutes All Who Have Protected Our American Right To Gripe! at June 01, 2015 12:48 PM (hLRSq)

359
340 Zombeavers. Summarized thusly on imdb.com: "A fun weekend turns into madness and horror for a bunch of groupies looking for fun in a beaver infested swamp." *insert your own beaver-infested swamp joke here*
Posted by: RedMindBlueState at June 01, 2015 12:46 PM (h4vJk)


Theater lobby after Magic Mike 2 lets out?

Posted by: buzzion at June 01, 2015 12:48 PM (zt+N6)

360 I haven't been this excited since I heard Bruce Vilanch was doing a comedy set in town.

Posted by: bonhomme at June 01, 2015 12:48 PM (jhqr1)

361 Countdown clock to the Al Gore Steamroller Candidacy has begun.

Posted by: MTF at June 01, 2015 12:47 PM (DkJ4E)

Gore/Chakra 2016

Posted by: Tex Lovera at June 01, 2015 12:49 PM (wtvvX)

362 The perfect ticket: Lindsey Graham and Caitlyn/ Bruce Kardashian!

Posted by: Jim in Virginia at June 01, 2015 12:49 PM (tQt1U)

363 In completely and totally unrelated news, during the first week of my Presidency, I'll reopen the pool that's under the press room floor.

Posted by: alexthechick - Oh please intervene SMOD at June 01, 2015 12:10 PM (mf5HN)
.......................................................

Can we fill it with gators and crocs...pretty please?

Posted by: CrowSting at June 01, 2015 12:49 PM (61BD9)

364 Tanned, rested and ready!

Posted by: Ross Perot at June 01, 2015 12:49 PM (9QUPT)

365 If we only had one or two shades of grey we could totally feed all the starving children.

Classic.

Posted by: Christopher Taylor at June 01, 2015 12:49 PM (39g3+)

366
So the torture device.

That would be Blaspheming of The Rack.

*looks through punishment guide*

Oh, you're not going to like this.

Posted by: Bandersnatch, Lord Guardian, Protector, and Moisturizer to The Rack at June 01, 2015 12:50 PM (JtwS4)

367 No one can ever accuse Miss Lindsay of having waged a war on women, so, he's got that going for him.
___
I prefer a nice safe DMZ between myself and women. Wouldn't want to catch the cooties or whatever they have after all.

Posted by: Lady Lindsay at June 01, 2015 12:50 PM (78TbK)

368 Lindsey Graham is some sort of soft-shelled turtle, right?

Posted by: bonhomme at June 01, 2015 12:50 PM (jhqr1)

369 SANDERS IN 2016!
Posted by: Mary Cloggenstein
----------------

And who are the other two?

Posted by: Mike Hammer, etc., etc. at June 01, 2015 12:50 PM (9mTYi)

370
Problem with Zombeavers is that the currents/resistance swimming, would cause them to fall apart. Or, would the skin and fur hold them together longer? hmmmmm

Posted by: Bruce with a Wang! at June 01, 2015 12:50 PM (iQIUe)

371 So Yahoo just helpfully showed me Bruce Jenner as a woman.

Posted by: Lauren at June 01, 2015 12:51 PM (MYCIw)

372 Oh, you're not going to like this.

Posted by: Bandersnatch, Lord Guardian, Protector, and Moisturizer to The Rack at June 01, 2015 12:50 PM (JtwS4)

Never assume..

Posted by: wrg500 at June 01, 2015 12:51 PM (C278+)

373 For people who think Jeb Bush isn't RINO enough : Lindsey Graham. He already has a girl's name!

Posted by: Iblis at June 01, 2015 12:51 PM (9221z)

374 Lindsey Graham is some sort of soft-shelled turtle, right?

Posted by: bonhomme at June 01, 2015 12:50 PM


or it's a type of weasel...

Posted by: AltonJackson at June 01, 2015 12:51 PM (KCxzN)

375 With my lawsuit against Al Jizzeera I've taken more concrete action against international terror than anyone in the Zoobama administration, including Hilldogger.

Posted by: Al Gore at June 01, 2015 12:52 PM (DkJ4E)

376 Fast zombeavers or slow zombeavers?

Posted by: Pappy O'Daniel at June 01, 2015 12:52 PM (oVJmc)

377 My platform is free beer, free pot, and assless chaps for everybody!

Posted by: The Great White Snark at June 01, 2015 12:52 PM (vk+Kb)

378 Problem with Zombeavers is that the currents/resistance swimming, would cause them to fall apart. Or, would the skin and fur hold them together longer? hmmmmm

Posted by: Bruce with a Wang! at June 01, 2015 12:50 PM (iQIUe)

Not if the zombeavers read the Necronomicon.

Posted by: RWC - Team BOHICA at June 01, 2015 12:52 PM (fWAjv)

379 she was Miss Illinois 2014. So maybe no ta-ta shots of her


Courtney Palm is the ta-ta shots. (Just saw the movie Sat night, AFTER Netflix put it 1st or 2nd in almost every catagory)

Posted by: rickb223 at June 01, 2015 12:52 PM (Gv8zm)

380 Lindsey Graham gives graham crackers a bad name.

Posted by: Christopher Taylor at June 01, 2015 12:52 PM (39g3+)

381 *scans patronage jobs in alextopia*

Ah. This will work.
Posted by: Bandersnatch, Lord Guardian, Protector, and Moisturizer to The Rack at June 01, 2015 12:45 PM (JtwS4)


*checks confirmation email from Ulf*

Welcome to the Administration.

Posted by: alexthechick - Oh please intervene SMOD at June 01, 2015 12:52 PM (mf5HN)

382 Not to go all OT, but did anybody else notice the big stain on the sofa on Gutfield's new show?

Posted by: jwpaine, tastes great, less filling at June 01, 2015 12:52 PM (0bXhD)

383
Ya know.... Ive heard the legend and the tales and the lore of "The Rack" for years now. Mostly second hand sightings or drunken hazy recollections

But.... I'll wager NONE of us have ever SEEN the rack.

So.... according to page 17 of the AoSHQ Style Guide governing such siutations.....

....pics, or it didnt happen.

Posted by: fixerupper at June 01, 2015 12:53 PM (8XRCm)

384 Oh kami, trying to apply physics and logic to a zombie movie?

Posted by: Anna Puma (+SmuD) at June 01, 2015 12:53 PM (+WOB8)

385 I will not get excited until Alan Keyes jumps in the race.

Posted by: Mallamutt, RINO President for Life at June 01, 2015 12:53 PM (/HC6x)

386 Lindsey Graham. One more candidate who won't make the debate cut.

Posted by: Jim in Virginia at June 01, 2015 12:53 PM (tQt1U)

387 >>With my lawsuit against Al Jizzeera I've taken more concrete action
against international terror than anyone in the Zoobama administration,
including Hilldogger.


Except for the "selling a national cable channel to the enemy from which they can spread their propaganda within our borders" part, right?

Posted by: Lizzy at June 01, 2015 12:53 PM (UJir/)

388 I would vote for Graham if one of his campaign promises is if every time he appears in public a recording of Yakety Sax is played. Maybe.


https://youtu.be/MK6TXMsvgQg

Posted by: Arson Wells at June 01, 2015 12:54 PM (UnJ7w)

389 I saw beaver-infested Swamp open for the Little River Band in '87, with special guest appearances by Emerson, Lake and Palmer and Billy Ocean.

Wasn't a dry eye in the house.

Posted by: Muldoon, a solid man at June 01, 2015 12:54 PM (NeFrd)

390 Posted by: fixerupper at June 01, 2015 12:47 PM (8XRCm)

Fearless that I am, I actually googled it and it a FOOD!!!!!!!


Some tex mex conglomerations of beans and peppers and other stuff mixed in with EGGS!!!!

So a real omelet not some psycho definition of some weird off the wall sexual by product listed in the Urban Dictionary.

Posted by: Bitter Clinger and All That at June 01, 2015 12:55 PM (zRby/)

391 369 we see what you did there

Posted by: Mr Wizard at June 01, 2015 12:55 PM (eOpVe)

392
Welcome to the Administration.

*swoons*

Posted by: Bandersnatch, Lord Guardian, Protector, and Moisturizer to The Rack at June 01, 2015 12:55 PM (JtwS4)

393 Got Mulct?
Graham 2016

Posted by: weft cut-loop at June 01, 2015 12:55 PM (uctT+)

394 Not to go all OT, but did anybody else notice the big stain on the sofa on Gutfield's new show?

That's just Colin Quinn.

Posted by: bonhomme at June 01, 2015 12:55 PM (jhqr1)

395 We already have our 1st gay preezy, and Miss Lindsey isn't even black. So WTF? Is this part of the GOP "big <s>tent</s>condom strategery?"

Posted by: Jim Denney at June 01, 2015 12:56 PM (X9yuX)

396 Not to go all OT, but did anybody else notice the big stain on the sofa on Gutfield's new show?


Was Al Roker a guest?

Posted by: rickb223 at June 01, 2015 12:56 PM (Gv8zm)

397
387 >>With my lawsuit against Al Jizzeera I've taken more concrete action against international terror than anyone in the Zoobama administration, including Hilldogger.Except for the "selling a national cable channel to the enemy from which they can spread their propaganda within our borders" part, right?
Posted by: Lizzy at June 01, 2015 12:53 PM (UJir/)


Don't forget that its also essentially an EVIL OIL COMPANY as well. I believe he was once asked that and gave some bullshit answer.

Posted by: buzzion at June 01, 2015 12:56 PM (zt+N6)

398 Posted by: Arson Wells at June 01, 2015 12:54 PM (UnJ7w)

I think that should be the background music to ANY politicians announcement on TV.

Just so we know how serious and important it is.

Posted by: Bitter Clinger and All That at June 01, 2015 12:56 PM (zRby/)

399 Ok, no ta-ta shots from Lexi Atkins.

Posted by: RWC - Team BOHICA at June 01, 2015 12:56 PM (fWAjv)

400 Except for the "selling a national cable channel to the enemy from which they can spread their propaganda within our borders" part, right?


Posted by: Lizzy at June 01, 2015 12:53 PM (UJir/)
==========================

It was a trap! A lawsuit trap!

Posted by: Al Gore at June 01, 2015 12:56 PM (DkJ4E)

401 We already have our 1st gay preezy, and Miss Lindsey isn't even black. So WTF? Is this part of the GOP "big tentcondom strategery?"
Posted by: Jim Denney at June 01, 2015 12:56 PM (X9yuX)

----

So close.... so close and yet so far....

Posted by: The Barrel at June 01, 2015 12:56 PM (8XRCm)

402 Lindsey Graham. One more candidate who won't make the debate cut.

I would pay big money to get a video of Graham being told he didn't even make the debate cut.

Posted by: bonhomme at June 01, 2015 12:57 PM (jhqr1)

403 Welcome to the Administration.
Posted by: alexthechick
--------------

* submits resume for EPA Deconstruction Czar position*

* as backup, submits application for spot as Chief Terminator of Alternative Energy Grants *

Posted by: Mike Hammer, etc., etc. at June 01, 2015 12:57 PM (9mTYi)

404 As annoying as the GOP candidate circus is, it's a good sign. People only run when they think they have a chance to win, and the Democrats are looking weak for 2016. When Hillary is considered inevitable in the Democrat circles, it's a bad sign, and the Republicans smell blood in the water. Hopefully their thoughts are well founded.

Posted by: Grimaldi at June 01, 2015 12:57 PM (V2kaI)

405 Up next.... Trump

Posted by: RWC - Team BOHICA at June 01, 2015 12:57 PM (fWAjv)

406 I would pay big money to get a video of Graham being told he didn't even make the debate cut.

Honey Boo-Boo is that you crying there?

Posted by: Anna Puma (+SmuD) at June 01, 2015 12:57 PM (+WOB8)

407 **Has Beau Biden joke fired up and ready to go**

**Waves at The Barrel**

Posted by: Arson Wells at June 01, 2015 12:58 PM (UnJ7w)

408 *insert your own beaver-infested swamp joke here*

Posted by: RedMindBlueState at June 01, 2015 12:46 PM (h4vJk)


HEY!?!!

Posted by: Sandra Fluke at June 01, 2015 12:58 PM (zF6Iw)

409 Looks like this blog has a case o'the Mondays.

Posted by: eleven at June 01, 2015 12:58 PM (IPzoI)

410 I didn't even bother watching Gutfeld's new show.

He's becoming more and more of a Big Government statist.

I liked him when he was an uncategorizable "Conserv-a-tarian." He's been thoroughly Fox-ified now.

Posted by: Citizen X at June 01, 2015 12:58 PM (7ObY1)

411 "...and you're thinking about joining Al Qaeda or ISIL..."

Thought Police/Judge/ Jury/ Executioner=>Graham

Posted by: socalcon at June 01, 2015 12:58 PM (vHlQ5)

412 My platform is free beer, free pot, and assless chaps for everybody!

What kind of beer?

Posted by: HR braucht ein Bier at June 01, 2015 12:58 PM (ZKzrr)

413 >>Don't forget that its also essentially an EVIL OIL COMPANY as well. I
believe he was once asked that and gave some bullshit answer.


And he rejected an offer from Glen Beck.
Because an icky conservative is worse than the Al Qeda news network.

Posted by: Lizzy at June 01, 2015 12:59 PM (UJir/)

414
386 Lindsey Graham. One more candidate who won't make the debate cut.
Posted by: Jim in Virginia at June 01, 2015 12:53 PM (tQt1U


I guarantee that if there is a tie at the cutoff point Miss Lindsey will be one that gets in.

Posted by: buzzion at June 01, 2015 12:59 PM (zt+N6)

415 * submits resume for EPA Deconstruction Czar position*

* as backup, submits application for spot as Chief Terminator of Alternative Energy Grants *
Posted by: Mike Hammer, etc., etc. at June 01, 2015 12:57 PM (9mTYi)



You remembered to include the plans for the Protected Species List Cafe, yes?

Posted by: alexthechick - Oh please intervene SMOD at June 01, 2015 12:59 PM (mf5HN)

416 "Looks like this blog has a case o'the Mondays."


Please don't ever say that again.

Posted by: Ricardo Kill at June 01, 2015 01:00 PM (LA7Cm)

417 You all KNOW Al Gore's sitting around the house (and when he sits around the house, he sits AROUND the house) thinking:

"hey I could fcuking run against this crowd of dorks"

Let the Inconvenient Truth begin.

Posted by: Bitter Clinger and All That at June 01, 2015 01:00 PM (zRby/)

418
"Introducing Caitlyn Jenner"
..............................................
Yikes. Anybody want to call dibs on First?

Posted by: wth at June 01, 2015 01:00 PM (wAQA5)

419 I would vote for Graham if one of his campaign promises is if every time he appears in public a recording of Yakety Sax is played. Maybe.
------

roflmao

Posted by: Mike Hammer, etc., etc. at June 01, 2015 01:00 PM (9mTYi)

420 Lindsey, Lindsey, he's our Gurl!

If she don't make it, we'll cook some squirrel!

Posted by: SC Log Cabin GOP Bandwagon at June 01, 2015 01:00 PM (sCHw2)

421 Protected Species List Cafe?

Delta Smelt in a garlic and butter sauce is real popular.

Posted by: Anna Puma (+SmuD) at June 01, 2015 01:00 PM (+WOB8)

422 I haven't been this excited since Pat Paulsen ran for President.

Posted by: Tex Lovera at June 01, 2015 01:00 PM (wtvvX)

423
Open to making deals with Democrats to move bills forward, he is often criticized for sounding like a Democrat on climate change, spending and immigration.


And how.


Politicians say a lot of shit.
It is what he does that pisses people off.

Posted by: OneEyedJack at June 01, 2015 01:00 PM (XmOA9)

424 >>*insert your own beaver-infested swamp joke here*



Amanda Marcotte having a girls-only pool party?

Posted by: Lizzy at June 01, 2015 01:01 PM (UJir/)

425 Since Republican now means spineless, simpering establishment crack whores, what does RINO stand for?

Royal Incestuous Nepotism Officials?

Redundant Ignorant National Opportunists?

Posted by: Ross Perot at June 01, 2015 01:01 PM (9QUPT)

426 Zombeavers Opening Weekend March 20, 2015
Gross - $8,163.00

Posted by: rickb223 at June 01, 2015 01:01 PM (Gv8zm)

427 By the way that new "Freedom Bill" after much Yada Yada Yada and some more Yada Yada Yada today and tomorrow will pass. And in the end, it is much to do about nothing, as is most shit with this COngress.

Posted by: Nevergiveup at June 01, 2015 01:01 PM (rDqRv)

428 "Yikes. Anybody want to call dibs on First?"


No. But xe looks better than I would have expected.

Posted by: Ricardo Kill at June 01, 2015 01:01 PM (LA7Cm)

429 McCain put him up to this.

Posted by: L, Elle at June 01, 2015 01:01 PM (O+0DS)

430 McCain. V 2.0 thanks, no.

Posted by: Minnfidel at June 01, 2015 01:01 PM (aEYPl)

431 Maybe, in Alextopia, we should outsource our press relations to the Saudi sword executioners.

Just a small policy suggestion, designed to take advantage of multicultural opportunities in the new era.

Posted by: MTF at June 01, 2015 01:01 PM (DkJ4E)

432 "hey I could fcuking run against this crowd of dorks"
-------------

* sloshes some more bourbon into a tall glass *

Posted by: Tipper at June 01, 2015 01:01 PM (9mTYi)

433
Protected Species List Cafe?

Delta Smelt in a garlic and butter sauce is real popular.


Posted by: Anna Puma (+SmuD) at June 01, 2015 01:00 PM (+WOB

The Spotted Owl is fabulous...

Posted by: Tex Lovera at June 01, 2015 01:02 PM (wtvvX)

434 Posted by: Ross Perot at June 01, 2015 12:49 PM (9QUPT)

I thought you were dead.

Well you're dead to me anyways.

Posted by: Bitter Clinger and All That at June 01, 2015 01:02 PM (zRby/)

435 /voodoo economic sock off

Posted by: some random meathead at June 01, 2015 01:02 PM (92YAX)

436 Posted by: Mike Hammer, etc., etc. at June 01, 2015 12:57 PM (9mTYi)

You guys want jobs in the administration. High profile jobs.

Me, I just want the cost-plus supply contracts. With you guys around the outrage is going to go beyond eleventy, maybe all the may to twelveteen thousand, and I'm the one that can keep all of the magazines and armories at capacity.

So sign right here and welcome to the wonderful world of Government Graft!

Posted by: Mikey NTH - The Outrage Outlet Salutes All Who Have Protected Our American Right To Gripe! at June 01, 2015 01:02 PM (hLRSq)

437 The Spotted Owl is fabulous...
Posted by: Tex Lovera at June 01, 2015 01:02 PM (wtvvX)

-----

Tastes just like Bald Eagle.

Posted by: fixerupper at June 01, 2015 01:03 PM (8XRCm)

438 >>You remembered to include the plans for the Protected Species List Cafe, yes?


Heh, "The Freshman."

Open one up in Vermont.

Posted by: Lizzy at June 01, 2015 01:03 PM (UJir/)

439 The Supreme court has ruled in favor of a muzzie woman who was denied a job at Abacrombie and Fitch because she wore a head scarf.


http://fxn.ws/1AIUTtm

Posted by: Vic We Have No Party at June 01, 2015 01:03 PM (GpgJl)

440 Protected Species List Cafe?

Delta Smelt in a garlic and butter sauce is real popular.



Clubbed baby seal sammiches.

Posted by: rickb223 at June 01, 2015 01:03 PM (Gv8zm)

441
Please don't ever say that again.

Turn that frown upside down mister!

::lolcatz::

Posted by: eleven at June 01, 2015 01:03 PM (IPzoI)

442 "The Spotted Owl is fabulous..."


Well, as Rush would say, if they were any good to eat we'd have millions of 'em.

Posted by: Ricardo Kill at June 01, 2015 01:03 PM (LA7Cm)

443 In my next rape fantasy I include really short women who know the law. I'll bring the mattress.

Posted by: Bernie Sanders at June 01, 2015 01:03 PM (xQX/f)

444 Posted by: Bandersnatch, Lord Guardian, Protector, and Moisturizer to The Rack at June 01, 2015 12:55 PM (JtwS4)

Great you get to moisten the royal rack, and I get to wear the royal bite suit for the raptors. geez....

Posted by: wrg500 at June 01, 2015 01:03 PM (C278+)

445 And B Jenner's new name is Caitlyn. Ugh

Posted by: Nevergiveup at June 01, 2015 01:03 PM (rDqRv)

446
President Dill?

Yeah, that'll never happen...

Posted by: Krebs v Carnot: Epic Battle of the Cycling Stars(TM) at June 01, 2015 01:03 PM (95CzI)

447 426 Zombeavers Opening Weekend March 20, 2015
Gross - $8,163.00

Posted by: rickb223 at June 01, 2015 01:01 PM (Gv8zm)

Or what Moo Moo makes per minute.

Posted by: RWC - Team BOHICA at June 01, 2015 01:04 PM (fWAjv)

448
*daubs at Rack*

If it please you, AnnaP has sent up some fresh Piping Plover.

Posted by: Bandersnatch, Lord Guardian, Protector, and Moisturizer to The Rack at June 01, 2015 01:04 PM (JtwS4)

449 *insert your own beaver-infested swamp joke here*


Were they flat beavers like mine?

Posted by: Rachel Treadmark Corrie at June 01, 2015 01:04 PM (Hv5Rk)

450 Since Republican now means spineless, simpering establishment crack whores, what does RINO stand for?

Reagan conservative.

Posted by: Christopher Taylor at June 01, 2015 01:04 PM (39g3+)

451 Wait..

President Caitlyn 'Dill' Jenner?

Nah.

Posted by: Anna Puma (+SmuD) at June 01, 2015 01:04 PM (+WOB8)

452
Hah....

Girl rhymes with squirrel.

Posted by: eleven at June 01, 2015 01:05 PM (IPzoI)

453 Protected Species List Cafe?


BBQ Pulled Panda

Posted by: RWC - Team BOHICA at June 01, 2015 01:05 PM (fWAjv)

454 well, at least Graham has a better chance than Rand in being the President

Posted by: The Dude at June 01, 2015 01:05 PM (SyKbw)

455 I haven't been this excited since the last time Moo Moo posted.

Posted by: Mary Poppins' Practically Perfect Piercing at June 01, 2015 01:05 PM (zF6Iw)

456 President Dill?

Yeah, that'll never happen...



If it did, we'd be in a pickle!

Posted by: rickb223 at June 01, 2015 01:05 PM (Gv8zm)

457 "Zombeavers Opening Weekend March 20, 2015
Gross - $8,163.00 "


Heh. I would have figured straight to DVD or download.

Posted by: Ricardo Kill at June 01, 2015 01:05 PM (LA7Cm)

458 Y-Not needs to do a Saturday poll on Who Do We Hate The Most Who Is Running For President

Posted by: L, Elle at June 01, 2015 01:05 PM (O+0DS)

459 Posted by: Grimaldi at June 01, 2015 12:57 PM (V2kaI)

The corollary to that is that they also think the other candidates are just as weak.

But then EGO!

Posted by: Bitter Clinger and All That at June 01, 2015 01:05 PM (zRby/)

460
Crane operator catches his wife cheating and decides to use her lover's BOAT as a wrecking ball.

https://goo.gl/bHTs99

Posted by: Bruce with a Wang! at June 01, 2015 01:05 PM (iQIUe)

461 "If it did, we'd be in a pickle!"



Or a jam.

Posted by: Ricardo Kill at June 01, 2015 01:06 PM (LA7Cm)

462 >>And B Jenner's new name is Caitlyn.


Could be worse. Could be Kaitlyn.

Posted by: Lizzy at June 01, 2015 01:06 PM (UJir/)

463
No. But xe looks better than I would have expected.
Posted by: Ricardo Kill at June 01, 2015 01:01 PM (LA7Cm)
................................................
You spelled "it" wrong.

Posted by: wth at June 01, 2015 01:06 PM (wAQA5)

464 Lindsay Graham for President?

How many quatloos on the newcomer lasting through March 2016?


Posted by: Bossy Conservative....lost in America at June 01, 2015 01:07 PM (RFeQD)

465 How about we put the press corps in the middle of a pit, with three ladders on one said, and release several Grizzly Bears on the other side? The fittest ones would get up the ladders first! #Darwinian!!!!
Posted by: Tex Lovera at June 01, 2015 12:29 PM (wtvvX)


Do you really wants reporters out there who can outrun a grizzly bear? I say, give the losers a posthumous Pulitzer, and shoot the others as they climb out.

Win-win.

Posted by: jwpaine melts in your mouth, not in your hands at June 01, 2015 01:07 PM (0bXhD)

466
445 And B Jenner's new name is Caitlyn. Ugh
Posted by: Nevergiveup at June 01, 2015 01:03 PM (rDqRv)


Has he legally changed it? Or did he just decide that will be his name now? And the Media will of course accommodate in the opposite manner they always do for those muslim converts that take a new name and then proceed to kill people.

Posted by: buzzion at June 01, 2015 01:07 PM (zt+N6)

467 Okay.

Caitlyn Jenner, Marie Harf, or Jan Psaki?

Posted by: Anna Puma (+SmuD) at June 01, 2015 01:08 PM (+WOB8)

468 So were going from "my friendsh" to my frenths" ...Progress!

Posted by: Minnfidel at June 01, 2015 01:08 PM (aEYPl)

469 You remembered to include the plans for the Protected Species List Cafe, yes?

Posted by: alexthechick - Oh please intervene SMOD at June 01, 2015 12:59 PM


*submits resume for post of Executive Chef*

Posted by: RedMindBlueState at June 01, 2015 01:08 PM (h4vJk)

470 Nood hillary

Posted by: rickb223 at June 01, 2015 01:08 PM (Gv8zm)

471 Can I be the royal hunter of Manatees?

Posted by: wrg500 at June 01, 2015 01:09 PM (C278+)

472 *daubs at Rack*

If it please you, AnnaP has sent up some fresh Piping Plover.
Posted by: Bandersnatch, Lord Guardian, Protector, and Moisturizer to The Rack at June 01, 2015 01:04 PM (JtwS4)



You missed a spot.

*noms delicately* Is there any snow leopard pate left?

Posted by: alexthechick - Oh please intervene SMOD at June 01, 2015 01:09 PM (mf5HN)

473 He can't be the first gay president, or first RINO douchebag president, or first scary-strange bucktoothed Southern Gothic president -- already been done.

And although as president he would be a stuttering clusterfuck of a miserable failure, that also has been done.

Where's the innovation and novelty the public demands?

Get your johnson removed and put on a dress, Lindsey. Then we'll know you're serious.


Posted by: Edgar Allan Schmoe at June 01, 2015 01:09 PM (3q/4X)

474 I haven't been this excited since the last time Hector handled his "snake"

Posted by: Blue Hen at June 01, 2015 01:10 PM (Spluw)

475 Posted by: Bruce with a Wang! at June 01, 2015 01:05 PM (iQIUe)


I hope he enjoys his time in the state pen. And by the way, this may actually be why your wife is unfaithful Mr. Crane-Guy - you're a loony.*


*No I do not condone adultery.

Posted by: Mikey NTH - The Outrage Outlet Salutes All Who Have Protected Our American Right To Gripe! at June 01, 2015 01:10 PM (hLRSq)

476 If Bernie Sanders is elected he will tie up your wife! If I am elected I will ensure Bernie has the help of two new citizens on the government payroll. A vote for me is a vote for a more passionate, intimate government. If you even think of dissenting I'll drone you with a marital aid.

Posted by: Miss Lindsey Wearing a Ball Gag at June 01, 2015 01:10 PM (HAqfD)

477 Get your johnson removed and put on a dress, Lindsey. Then we'll know you're serious.
Posted by: Edgar Allan Schmoe at June 01, 2015 01:09 PM


Objection. Assumes facts mercifully not in evidence.

Posted by: RedMindBlueState at June 01, 2015 01:10 PM (h4vJk)

478 Who is telling Graham to run ? Who claims they would vote for him ?...Why would anyone possibly show up ?

I don't get it. I know, I Know. "You were not put on this earth to 'get it' Mistah Burton".

Posted by: What, me worry? at June 01, 2015 12:47 PM (vDEpI)


Bonus points for the David Lo Pan quote. And I agree with you. Which leads me to conclude that this is not a serious campaign, but some tactical plan to do well enough in South Carolina that a timely withdrawal/endorsement of another candidate might earn him a position in a future Republican administration as AG, SecDef, or even SecState.

Posted by: A. Guy at June 01, 2015 01:10 PM (d6iMX)

479 We are hereby declaring the following debate-schedule for all GOP candidates:

GOPe/RINO Group (Graham, Bush, Huckabee, Pataki, Christie, Kasich, Rubio, Trump) : MTWTh 8:00 PM on PBS/CNN/MSNBC/ABC/CBS with Candy Crowley, George Stephalphabet, Marc Lamont Hill, Al Sharpton acting as moderators


Teabagger Group (Cruz, Carson, Fiorina, Perry, Santorum, Jindal, Paul, Walker) : F 10:00 PM on Fox with Bill O'Reilly as moderator

That is all.

Posted by: RNC Debate Committee at June 01, 2015 01:12 PM (sCHw2)

480 You remembered to include the plans for the Protected Species List Cafe, yes?
Posted by: alexthechick
-----------------

Shoves bribe of smoked Snail Darters into USB port. They are wonderful on Wheat Thins. Some Gruyère on the side, and white wine.

Posted by: Tipper at June 01, 2015 01:15 PM (9mTYi)

481 Off with drunken Gore sock

Posted by: Mike Hammer, etc., etc. at June 01, 2015 01:15 PM (9mTYi)

482 Not really he won by more than 50%. Didn't even have to have a run-off. The last primary he didn't get 50%.


Posted by: Vic We Have No Party at June 01, 2015 12:31 PM (GpgJl)
No, he got over 50% in the last primary too, and this one was closer. In 2008 he won the primary with 67%, in 2014 he won with 56%.

Posted by: Jon (not the troll) at June 01, 2015 01:16 PM (HA+/6)

483 Seriously, has anyone here ever had anyone say to them, 'you know who would make good President? Lindsay Graham.'?

On the other hand now that Dennis Hastert has demonstrated all the good a dedicated closet queen can do for his party and country...

Posted by: richard mcenroe at June 01, 2015 01:48 PM (XO6WW)

484 Graham will announce "officially" in two weeks ... from The Island of Dr. Moreaux.

Posted by: someguy at June 01, 2015 02:31 PM (3z91g)

485 we need Gramnesty like a hole in the head...

Posted by: standfast24 at June 01, 2015 02:39 PM (wx/BY)

486 Graham-Jenner 2016

Posted by: Leonard Pinth-Garnell at June 01, 2015 04:23 PM (8grkz)

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