At Brandeis, Where an Indifferent, Mediocre Semi-Education Will Set You Back $60,000 Per Year, An Attempt to Educate Students About "Microagressions" and "Triggers" Is Deemed to Itself be a Triggering Microaggression

We used to call "microaggressions" our personal peeves, but the Social Justice Warriors want to make it sound important (and give it the false sheen of academic rigor), so they called it "microaggressions." Note this word also shifts the party responsible -- it used to be understood that if you had a pet peeve, it was your pet peeve.

Now comes the word "microaggression" to make it sound like the guy who activated your pet peeve did so voluntarily and, well, aggressively -- instead of it just being you getting annoyed, because you're sensitive.

For a long time, I've heard Asians, in particular, talking about the particular "microaggression" of asking "Where are you from?" When they say "Fort Lee, New Jersey," the other person says, "No really, but where are you from?"

Several things here. One, I can see how this would be annoying.

Two, I don't think many people actually ask the question this way. I think the question is here being deliberately made to sound more stupid than it was actually posed. Like, I'd ask, "I mean, where does your family originate from?"

But I wouldn't ask that, because now I know it's the Worst Thing Ever to try to find out if the person you're speaking to is of Korean or Chinese, or Korean or Japanese, extraction, because like You Should Just Know Or Something. *

At any rate, what these questions are actually getting at is that. For me, I can tell Chinese and Japanese apart pretty easily (I think -- don't test me), but I get a little confused by Koreans and Vietnamese, and I have no real idea what Laotian might be.

These questions are said to be "microaggressing" or "othering" or "exoticizing."

One could also call them A stranger taking an interest in you and your culture, but of course we can't call it that, because Special Snowflakes need to live dramatic lives in which they are always put-upon and suffering the worst tragedy of anyone in all of history.

Thus, an inartfully-phrased question which is just seeking some cultural information is turned into a Racist Taunt.

Um, it's not. I can see how Asians would be annoyed that white people are always asking about their culture (especially when they themselves might not know much about it, hailing from Fort Lee, NJ and all) but the fact is, this is a compliment, basically: Whites have long been interested in Asian culture.

Look at all the Rising Sun flags and samurai swords that dweebs own.

Now, you can be "otherized" or "exoticized" by a compliment -- it is true, someone can "otherize" you, treat you as the distant other, while actually being (overly) interested in you, just as clueless liberal can attempt to give praise to a minority but come off as condescending and presumptuous -- but in the history of racism, I'm going to go ahead and say that "Other people have the racist misimpression that my culture is cooler than it really is" is pretty fucking low on the list of Racial Harms.

It ranks just a few steps under the Holocaust and slavery. Just a few.

This is why I say this used to be called a "peeve."

Do I understand why Asians complain about this? Yes.

Would I think it was annoying if I were Asian? Yes. In fact, I can see it as annoying even as whitey who rarely faces the "Where do you come from?" question.

Would I bring it up, in talking with my fellow Asians, as an example of how clueless and stupid White People are? Sure would.

But I'm afraid that's about the limit of it. It cannot really be pushed beyond that to a true racial affront, and damnsure not a racist one.

But, as I say: Special Snowflakes have empty gray lives, which they feel the need to color up with Hallucinated Persecutions.

And thus "Where are you from?" becomes the Worst Crisis Ever Faced by 18 year old, Upper Middle Class Asian kids whose actual worst crisis was not getting accepted by an Ivy League school and having to settle for one of the very expensive faux-Ivies like Brandeis.

And I'm not going to sugarcoat it -- Braindeis is for the dumber, weaker Upper Middle Class kids -- but again, in the history of suffering, this isn't quite up there with Anne Frank.

So anyway, the Brandeis Asian American Student Association put up some fliers to indicate microaggressions they hated -- things like "I totally have an Asian fetish" and "you're my favorite Asian" (notice these are actually awkward compliments, btw).

Here's the thing: Other students seeing those fliers felt "triggered" -- and thus, the BAASA's attempt to alert people to the dangers of "microagressions" has itself deemed as triggering.

I do think there is a point to this "microaggression" stuff. Sometimes people will reference race, attempting, they think, to pay someone a compliment, or "put this whole cross-racial awkwardness behind us." But what they don't realize is that the person they're saying that to hears that constantly, so to them, the "cross-racial awkwardness" is never put behind.

Even if you're attempting to be nice to an Asian, and tell him how cool you think karate and Giant Robots are, what the Asian is hearing, for the hundredth time in a conversation with an Anglo, is that he is an Exotic Asian Boy From Faraway Lands.

So I do think they have a point. And I know that I do this myself. I try to be friendly and put the race thing aside by underlining it.

You know what? This never works. I was once having a great night with friends and this from-County-Cork Irish bartender and I said to him something like "God bless you you Irish son of a bitch!"

You know what he did? Threw me out of the fucking bar, that's what he did, even after I apologized profusely for ten minutes.

So, it never works, and Anglos should probably just never say a word about an acquaintance's race, unless that acquaintance brings it up.

So I do think they have a point. And I do think Anglos should know this annoying.

As Leader of The White People,* I declare that it's time to realize this I'll Prove I'm Totally Not Racist By Calling Attention to Race gambit must be retired.

Still, the whole Oppressed People nonsense? C'mon.

Stop using a petty annoyance as a justification for a formalized structure of racial hatred.**

Via Instapundit, with more.

Thanks to MWR for the tip.

* Like most SJW microkvetches, this one is a bit incoherent, insisting, as it does, that Anglos should simultaneously take no interest in Asians' heritage and also have perfect native-level fluency in cultural differences between Asian cohorts.

BTW, the other day I had a cabdriver who commented upon what he found odd in America. So I asked him where he was from (Ethiopia) and where in Ethiopa (Addis, he said -- I guess that's the cool shorthand for Addis Adaba? I dunno).

Anyway, know why I asked him these things? Not to "otherize" him, but rather because I was, get this, interested.

And honestly I didn't have much else going on.

Then again, in fairness, he did broach the subject (his comment implicitly announced he was interested in cross-cultural observations) and furthermore he was a recent immigrant, not someone whose tribe had, since the Sixth Dynasty, resided in Fort Lee, New Jersey.

Still, one should, I think, distinguish between intentional insult and unintentional awkwardness.

The first is something one could be justifiably angry about.

The latter is something that assholes who just want an excuse to shout will gin up some drama over.

More: Actually, now that I see a True Asshole making this kind of joke, I begin to see how abrasive it really is, and why it should be retired.

@AceofSpadesHQ check out the Microaggressor-in-Chief https://t.co/keDXPnkez1
— The H2 (@TheH2) May 1, 2015

* Technically, Jeff Winger is Leader of the White People, but actually the Position is open to which ever White Person holds the Conch at any particular moment, and I just got a hold of it now.

** Many citizens of foreign countries will decry "American nationalism" as a passive-aggressive (and dishonest) way of expressing their own jingoistic nationalism. When you hear a Frenchman screaming about how America thinks it's the best, but really it's not very good at all, who do you think he's implying really is the Best?

Likewise, many minorities now employ a constant, codified, ritualized attack on White People as their method of engaging in some bumptious, egotistical Racial Triumphalism.

And this becomes more obvious every single day.

Guys? If you think your own culture or race is the best, stop being dishonest, and just express your honest chauvanistic and/or racist feelings.

Stop using the nasty passive-aggressive subterfuge of always strongly, strongly implying that you are Superior to Whitey as your chickenshit method of proclaiming racial superiority.

Posted by: Ace at 04:02 PM

Comments

(Jump to bottom of comments)

1 Bring on the Ides of Thermidor

Posted by: Vashta Nerada at May 01, 2015 04:04 PM (/i3Yt)

2 I can tell Chinese and Japanese apart pretty easily (I think -- don't test me), but I get a little confused by Koreans and Vietnamese, and I have no real idea what Laotian might be.

--

It is like pornography; you know it when you see it. In fact, it is very much like pornography.

Posted by: Vashta Nerada at May 01, 2015 04:06 PM (/i3Yt)

3
Microaggression. Is that like "Fantastic Voyage" or something?

Posted by: J.J. Sefton at May 01, 2015 04:06 PM (St6BJ)

4 2 Posted by: Vashta Nerada at May 01, 2015 04:06 PM (/i3Yt)

There are definite facial cues as well as skin coloration. I can guess fairly accurately most of the time, but I keep it to myself.

Posted by: J.J. Sefton at May 01, 2015 04:08 PM (St6BJ)

5 >So I do think they have a point. And I do think Anglos should know this annoying.

So fucking what. Everyone is annoying, even if unintentionally. I like to know where white people's families originate from too.

Yeah, microaggressions have a point. But the bigger point is that they're complete bullshit for anyone who is sincerely trying to just be pleasant or make conversation, and for the people who aren't, they don't give a shit that someone is flipping out.

Asians who get furious over the 'microaggression' of asking their ancestry deserve to be told "So I'm guessing you're filipino, right?" immediately. They'll love that.

Posted by: Crude at May 01, 2015 04:08 PM (DUynq)

6 "White people have always been interested in Asian culture."

White people (men) have always been into Asian women...

Posted by: JoeF. at May 01, 2015 04:08 PM (7AGnl)

7 So anyway, the Brandeis Asian American Student Association put up some
fliers to indicate microaggressions they hated -- things like "I totally
have an Asian fetish" and "you're my favorite Asian" (notice these are
actually awkward compliments, btw).

Dorky men do the same thing to redheads, fat women, and drag queens.

Posted by: HR braucht ein Bier at May 01, 2015 04:08 PM (/kI1Q)

8 ~~My pet peeve~~ Painful microaggression? Not "othering," not "exoticizing;" it's mofos "verbing" and otherwise polluting a beautiful and expressive language with butt-ugly neologisms.

Posted by: Jay Guevara at May 01, 2015 04:08 PM (oKE6c)

9 When Kate Upton triggers a boner I micro-agress the shit out of it as punishment.

Posted by: Dr Spank at May 01, 2015 04:08 PM (TJCSB)

10 HAPPY MAY DAY everyone! Don't forget may 4th 45th anniversary of kent state.

Posted by: captain*arizona at May 01, 2015 04:09 PM (bctrG)

11 This was a funny Seinfeld

Posted by: Garrett at May 01, 2015 04:09 PM (/ODk4)

12 9 When Kate Upton triggers a boner I micro-agress the shit out of it as punishment.
Posted by: Dr Spank at May 01, 2015 04:08 PM (TJCSB)

I think you just insulted yourself.

Posted by: J.J. Sefton at May 01, 2015 04:09 PM (St6BJ)

13 It's like a recursive loop with no limit on repetition

Posted by: MikeH at May 01, 2015 04:09 PM (a5BHX)

14 10 HAPPY MAY DAY everyone! Don't forget may 4th 45th anniversary of kent state.
Posted by: captain*arizona at May 01, 2015 04:09 PM (bctrG)

When the Weathermen fired first and probably killed the students and the Guard got the blame.

Posted by: J.J. Sefton at May 01, 2015 04:10 PM (St6BJ)

15 It is often uncomfortable asking Asians about tentacle hentai, yet where else can you get an educated opinion?

Posted by: Vashta Nerada at May 01, 2015 04:10 PM (/i3Yt)

16 I don't give a micro-fuck.

Posted by: maddogg at May 01, 2015 04:10 PM (xWW96)

17 You just can't be sure about anything.

Posted by: Werner Heisenberg at May 01, 2015 04:11 PM (cgxNI)

18 Yeah, microaggressions have a point. But the bigger point is that
they're complete bullshit for anyone who is sincerely trying to just be
pleasant or make conversation, and for the people who aren't, they don't
give a shit that someone is flipping out.

Next up: people bitching that white people take no interest in them or their culture.

You heard it here first.

Posted by: Jay Guevara at May 01, 2015 04:11 PM (oKE6c)

19 Ace, I think you macro-aggressed me with your Scandi ravings. I'm crying into my glogg right now just thinking about it.

Posted by: Mary at May 01, 2015 04:11 PM (cOMI0)

20 Ace: Well said. You're a credit to your race.

Posted by: Furious George at May 01, 2015 04:12 PM (UlJ3l)

21 Next up: people bitching that white people take no interest in them or their culture.

You heard it here first.
Posted by: Jay Guevara at May 01, 2015 04:11 PM (oKE6c)

Mandatory watching of old "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air" shows beginning in September

Posted by: FTC at May 01, 2015 04:12 PM (a5BHX)

22 Did I pee on your carpet, Sir?

Posted by: Jeffrey Lebowski at May 01, 2015 04:12 PM (/ODk4)

23 You know what Ace? Any time we got a newbie in our plant on the ship the first question asked was "where ya' from"? It is a normal question asked by people in groups who are made up of people from all over. The same thing happened when we got a new hire at the company where I worked.

Posted by: Vic We Have No Party at May 01, 2015 04:12 PM (wlDny)

24 When the Weathermen fired first and probably killed the students and the Guard got the blame.

Posted by: J.J. Sefton at May 01, 2015 04:10 PM (St6BJ)

Is that established? I hadn't heard that one before.

Posted by: Jay Guevara at May 01, 2015 04:12 PM (oKE6c)

25
>>For a long time, I've heard Asians, in particular, talking about the particular "microaggression" of asking "Where are you from?"

I had a friend who had moved here when he was 14 or so and still had a thick accent. People would ask him 'where are you from' all the time and he would just say 'pennsylvania'. The look on people's faces as they tried to decide if it was polite to keep asking to get to the answer they were actually looking for was hysterical.

Now, I saw this happen multiple times, I'm sure he got it all the time. The real problem with this is that people just aren't all that original and they ask the same questions over and over again. It has nothing to do with race. (he was white).

Posted by: Lea at May 01, 2015 04:12 PM (lIU4e)

26 I was once having a great night with friends and this from-County-Cork Irish bartender and I said to him something like "God bless you you Irish son of a bitch!"

---

Let me guess: you thought you had a connection because he was furry, and didn't realize his fur came from his mother's side of the family - the Labradors.

Posted by: Vashta Nerada at May 01, 2015 04:13 PM (/i3Yt)

27 I feel this entire post, and comments, are a micro-aggression worthy of deletion/burning.

Posted by: Dr Spank at May 01, 2015 04:13 PM (TJCSB)

28 My dad gave me a piece of advice for the working world, to never recognize a coworker's new hair or outfit. To do so could set you up for failure at the moment, and in the future if you failed to acknowledge a subsequent change. All these rules around gender, race and ethnicity feel the same. There is a lot, culturally, I'd like to know about people and their backgrounds, but I'd never ask. Fuck 'em. I'll treat everyone like a bland white guy, and if understanding and appreciation of other cultures dies through fear and/or ignorance, it's their own damn fault.

Posted by: Grimaldi at May 01, 2015 04:13 PM (uIVCO)

29 For a long time, I've heard Asians, in particular, talking about the
particular "microaggression" of asking "Where are you from?" When they
say "Fort Lee, New Jersey," the other person says, "No really, but where
are you from?"

Stick with the safe questions, such as their views on bukkakke.

Posted by: Jay Guevara at May 01, 2015 04:13 PM (oKE6c)

30 7,

One of those three is not like the other, HR. Care to elaborate on dorky guys and drag queens?

Posted by: Brandon In Baton Rouge at May 01, 2015 04:13 PM (FE+I8)

31 17 You just can't be sure about anything.
Posted by: Werner Heisenberg at May 01, 2015 04:11 PM (cgxNI)

wait sec, I have to go check my cat

Posted by: Schrodinger at May 01, 2015 04:13 PM (a5BHX)

32 17 You just can't be sure about anything.
Posted by: Werner Heisenberg at May 01, 2015 04:11 PM (cgxNI)

wait sec, I have to go check my cat

Posted by: Schrodinger at May 01, 2015 04:13 PM (a5BHX)

33
OT: There is a giant mural in the East Village that "artists" paint every few months. This one is totally political and it has every painful left-wing meme you can imagine.

Being a leftist is like being a perpetual infant and never having changed your soiled diaper while still shitting and pissing in it, thinking it's heaven.

Posted by: J.J. Sefton at May 01, 2015 04:13 PM (St6BJ)

34 I think it would be much simpler if everyone would just stop being whiny little shits about everyF'n-thing.

Posted by: irright at May 01, 2015 04:13 PM (8GKDa)

35 "Braindeis is for the dumber, weaker Upper Middle Class kids"

GIGO

Posted by: Mr Wizard at May 01, 2015 04:14 PM (eOpVe)

36 Is you really want to piss off a mainland Chinese, pretend you think he is from Japan.

Posted by: The Walking Dude at May 01, 2015 04:14 PM (cCxiu)

37 @14 it was police informant and agent provocateur who fired first shot. Look it up on google

Posted by: captain*arizona at May 01, 2015 04:14 PM (bctrG)

38 If the actual penetration is pixelated out it's Japanese.

Posted by: Bandersnatch at May 01, 2015 04:14 PM (JtwS4)

39 Dang, I could have raised such a stink about all of the micro-aggressions perpetrated against me my freshman year in college. I went to a small MA university with mostly MA and NYC students. Being from Colorado I was asked questions like:

- "Did you live in an A-frame on the prairie?"
- "Did you have indoor plumbing" and
- "Boulder - that's where Liquor Mart is, right? Think I went there after a Dead concert..."

Silly me, I just wrote them down and laughed about it w/friends when I went home for Christmas.

Posted by: Chairman Mao at May 01, 2015 04:14 PM (2TN4k)

40 Would I think it was annoying if I were Asian? Yes. In fact, I can see it as annoying even as whitey who rarely faces the "Where do you come from?" question.

----

I grew up in Utah--land of Whitey. This question gets asked a lot, because people who care are people who like to know.

For the record--I'm mostly Welsh and English, with some Dutch and rogue Scot in the mix.

Posted by: Turd Ferguson at May 01, 2015 04:14 PM (VAsIq)

41 #1 question to ask an Asian: are you good at math?

Posted by: EC at May 01, 2015 04:15 PM (cJ1t+)

42 37 @14 it was police informant and agent provocateur who fired first shot. Look it up on google
Posted by: captain*arizona at May 01, 2015 04:14 PM (bctrG)

Google. The most trusted name in news.

Posted by: J.J. Sefton at May 01, 2015 04:15 PM (St6BJ)

43
>>But I wouldn't ask that, because now I know it's the Worst Thing Ever to try to find out if the person you're speaking to is of Korean or Chinese, or Korean or Japanese, extraction, because like You Should Just Know Or Something.

Well, imo, the polite thing to do would be wait until you are close enough friends with someone that they actually tell you. But as I said, people are not original, and many of them are in fact kind of dumb, and lord knows few have any manners anymore. So they just blurt stuff out.

Posted by: Lea at May 01, 2015 04:15 PM (lIU4e)

44 Yeah, microaggressions have a point. But the bigger point is that they're complete bullshit for anyone who is sincerely trying to just be pleasant or make conversation,
and for the people who aren't, they don't give a shit that someone is flipping out.

If someone is talking to you, they are at least interested in you.
Because if they are not, they are ignoring you.

Posted by: rickb223 at May 01, 2015 04:15 PM (BdP+C)

45 They're ALL Celestials. It was a setup!

Posted by: George Costanza at May 01, 2015 04:15 PM (/ODk4)

46 41 #1 question to ask an Asian: are you good at math?

Posted by: EC at May 01, 2015 04:15 PM (cJ1t+)

I still want to know about that ancient Chinese secret.

Posted by: Calgon at May 01, 2015 04:15 PM (St6BJ)

47 38,

Or if there are tentacles involved.

Posted by: Brandon In Baton Rouge at May 01, 2015 04:15 PM (FE+I8)

48 The pussification of America is complete. Time to cut switches and beat ass.

Posted by: maddogg at May 01, 2015 04:15 PM (xWW96)

49 Word to the wise, if you see a chick with a prominent belly, best to let someone else ask when the due date is.

Posted by: Vashta Nerada at May 01, 2015 04:16 PM (/i3Yt)

50 I've been trolling the hell out of college kids on Yik Yak about all this stuff. Logic escapes them. And irony.

Posted by: NCKate at May 01, 2015 04:16 PM (DWBxb)

51 May 4th is also the anniversary of the Haymarket riot where commie agitators threw dynamite at the Chicago cops.

But then they knew how to handle that. Some when to jail, some got hanged by the neck until dead.

Posted by: Vic We Have No Party at May 01, 2015 04:16 PM (wlDny)

52 Uh.... how about just treating them like People... instead of part of some group?

Why???? because its just plain natural to try to categorize people... EVERY culture has done it... and we do it without thinking. Its part of what I think of as the Cave Man who lives in the back of my heads programming...

But if you do not REALIZE and admit that programming is there... it will creep up on you.

And trying to rationalize an irrational thought... instead of just acknowledging it, and then disregarding it... leads you down silly paths of justification.

Posted by: BB Wolf at May 01, 2015 04:16 PM (qh617)

53 Know who can never claim microaggression? White males.

Because there's nothing subtle or micro about the aggressions, basically. And boy howdy are we Othered.

Posted by: Bigby's Finger Pointing to the Future at May 01, 2015 04:16 PM (3ZtZW)

54 For some reason, this reminds me of Norman Mineta being invited to Italian-American gatherings and functions. IIRC, he'd actually go.

Posted by: Lance McCormick at May 01, 2015 04:16 PM (CrRlu)

55 Is you really want to piss off a mainland Chinese, pretend you think he is from Japan.

You VC! You VC!

Posted by: rickb223 at May 01, 2015 04:16 PM (BdP+C)

56 I was once having a great night with friends and this from-County-Cork Irish bartender and I said to him something like "God bless you you Irish son of a bitch!"

you left out the part where you ordered a round of Irish Car Bombs, didn't you?

Posted by: brak at May 01, 2015 04:16 PM (Tj+s6)

57 New challenge on twitter..

Stomp on the American flag.

Cocksuckers.

Posted by: RWC - Team BOHICA at May 01, 2015 04:16 PM (fWAjv)

58 48 The pussification of America is complete. Time to cut switches and beat ass.
Posted by: maddogg at May 01, 2015 04:15 PM (xWW96)

My dad just got out the whipping belt, wish I knew where it was

Posted by: MikeH at May 01, 2015 04:16 PM (a5BHX)

59 You know the favorite movie of Asian students at Brandeis?

"Torah, Torah, Torah."

I denounce myself.

Posted by: Jay Guevara at May 01, 2015 04:17 PM (oKE6c)

60 I think Japanese women are hotter than Chinese and Vietnamese women are hotter than Korean. Don't know how you tell the men apart.

Posted by: George Orwell de Leon at May 01, 2015 04:17 PM (1BQGO)

61 ...asking "Where are you from?"

Thus, an inartfully-phrased question which is just seeking some cultural information is turned into a Racist Taunt.

****

I think the trick is to wait until you have shared a couple of beers with the person.

Then maybe ease into it with, "So, how about them Yokohama BayStars?" or "Hey, know any good ways to cook rice without it sticking together?"

Posted by: Muldoon, a solid man at May 01, 2015 04:17 PM (mvenn)

62 Brandeis lost all legitimacy over how the school treated Ayaan Hirsi Ali, at the instigation of a small faculty hate group.

Stepping back one level, higher education is an hopelessly compromised institution. The Progs run the whole shebang.

Posted by: MTF at May 01, 2015 04:17 PM (FCsIb)

63 At any rate, what these questions are actually getting at is that. For me, I can tell Chinese and Japanese apart pretty easily (I think -- don't test me), but I get a little confused by Koreans and Vietnamese, and I have no real idea what Laotian might be.

I think this demands pics. And maybe music videos of the various Pop groups.

Heck, and throw in Mongolian metal while we're at it.

Posted by: ConservativeMonster at May 01, 2015 04:17 PM (0NdlF)

64 and I said to him something like "God bless you you Irish son of a bitch!"

You know what he did? Threw me out of the fucking bar

The Irish are well known for disliking redundancy.

Posted by: Lurking Canuck at May 01, 2015 04:17 PM (G4aHK)

65 or "How long is the plane ride when you go visit your grandparents?"

Posted by: Muldoon, a solid man at May 01, 2015 04:17 PM (mvenn)

66 Being, as I am, from a large East Coast city, among whites it was not uncommon to ask "what are you?" or "what's your nationality?" if it wasn't expressly stated and/or easily derived from a person's name. I think these questions of Asians are little more than that, probably phrased differently due to the relative recent immigration of most Asians opposed to white Americans of European extraction. It seems that at a certain point Asians got on the grievance bandwagon for some reason in spite of their commendable successes as immigrant groups in the U.S.

The other one that always pissed me off was that "oriental" suddenly became a slur. The word simply etymologically means "East" or "of the East" and is of Latin origin. I suppose one could object that this is Eurocentric, except for the fact that "Asia" is a Latin place name also not used outside of the West.

Posted by: Alec Leamas at May 01, 2015 04:18 PM (kz2eW)

67 Cotton Hill could recognize a Laotian.

Posted by: Sam Haysom at May 01, 2015 04:18 PM (KRi8S)

68 Word to the wise, if you see a chick with a prominent belly, best to let someone else ask when the due date is.

You NEVER ask a woman if she is pregnant until you see the head crowning.

Posted by: rickb223 at May 01, 2015 04:18 PM (BdP+C)

69
I love banging oriental chicks.

Posted by: William Jefferson Clinton at May 01, 2015 04:18 PM (OeJe4)

70 Don't know how you tell the men apart.
Posted by: George Orwell de Leon at May 01, 2015 04:17 PM (1BQGO)

Not really my place to tell you. Men are the ones with the penis...

Posted by: MikeH at May 01, 2015 04:18 PM (a5BHX)

71
Asian languages are a snap. Just speak very loud and add the suffix "ee" after most words.

EG: You wash-ee clothes-ee. Chop chop.

Posted by: J.J. Sefton at May 01, 2015 04:18 PM (St6BJ)

72 "I'm from Liverpool, the Bare Knuckles Capitol of the World. Here, let me show you my bona fides."

Posted by: Guy with the Scouse Accent at May 01, 2015 04:18 PM (eOpVe)

73
Word to the wise, if you see a chick with a prominent belly, best to let someone else ask when the due date is.

OMG. There was a bartender at a place I loved who was a big girl, not fat, not a belly, I always thought "Dutch farm girl". Guy at the bar asked her when she was due.

It did not go well.

Posted by: Bandersnatch at May 01, 2015 04:18 PM (JtwS4)

74 >> #1 question to ask an Asian: are you good at math?

Just don't ask them for a ride!

(Just kidding

)

Posted by: Lizzy at May 01, 2015 04:18 PM (2TN4k)

75 I can verify that Asians are touchy people. And delicious.

Posted by: Godzilla at May 01, 2015 04:18 PM (TJCSB)

76 Maybe the silver lining to the Burning Times is that fools like that will no longer be humored. When you have REAL problems to worry about, like getting your next meal and not ending up something ELSE'S next meal, this micro-aggression scam and bullshit should be seen for what it, utter folly.

Posted by: acethepug at May 01, 2015 04:18 PM (WK825)

77 57,

New challenge - Punch someone in the back of the head who is stomping on the flag.

Posted by: Brandon In Baton Rouge at May 01, 2015 04:18 PM (FE+I8)

78 Please leave your trigger warnings privilege at the door
#TriggerWarningsPrivilege

Posted by: James Truslow Adams at May 01, 2015 04:18 PM (e8kgV)

79 72 "I'm from Liverpool, the Bare Knuckles Capitol of the World. Here, let me show you my bona fides."
Posted by: Guy with the Scouse Accent at May 01, 2015 04:18 PM (eOpVe)

I hate fuckin' pikeys.

Posted by: J.J. Sefton at May 01, 2015 04:19 PM (St6BJ)

80 This is universal. My family has a business and for decades we've had customers from all over Latin America and The Middle East. And because the see the Italian name, we are forever being asked, "You Italian?", or "Are you from Italy?" This never bothered me, but it used to bug the hell out of my (since retired) father. He always felt it was their way of trying to bring us down to their level, i.e. new immigrant status.

I think Asians have a bug up their ass because they are tired of being referred to as "model immigrants." I think they perceive that compliment as a slight. Maybe it is patronizing to a point. I think they want to be cool and hip now. And edgy. And talk of microagressions and other bullshit is their way of trying to appear so.

Posted by: JoeF. at May 01, 2015 04:19 PM (7AGnl)

81 Ancestry.com is a microaggression.

Allowing white people to use it is a macroaggression.

Posted by: Stephen Price Blair at May 01, 2015 04:19 PM (J0IP0)

82 #70...
leftie men have piaginas

Posted by: Guy with the Scouse Accent at May 01, 2015 04:19 PM (eOpVe)

83 When I meet an Asian I ask them how long they've been driving.

Posted by: Cruzinator at May 01, 2015 04:19 PM (dBm7S)

84 77 57,

New challenge - Punch someone in the back of the head who is stomping on the flag.
Posted by: Brandon In Baton Rouge at May 01, 2015 04:18 PM (FE+I

I'm down with that struggle.

Posted by: J.J. Sefton at May 01, 2015 04:19 PM (St6BJ)

85 " I think Japanese women are hotter than Chinese and Vietnamese women are hotter than Korean. Don't know how you tell the men apart."

Micro-aggression dick joke.

Posted by: Sam Haysom at May 01, 2015 04:19 PM (KRi8S)

86

60 bills a year to turn my kid into a whiny neurotic asshole?

Where do I sign?

Posted by: Wodeshed at May 01, 2015 04:20 PM (OeJe4)

87 Being from Colorado I was asked questions like:
- "Did you live in an A-frame on the prairie?"
- "Did you have indoor plumbing" and
- "Boulder - that's where Liquor Mart is, right? Think I went there after a Dead concert..."
Silly me, I just wrote them down and laughed about it w/friends when I went home for Christmas.
Posted by: Chairman Mao
____________________

Simply having a Yankee express any kind of interest once he or she found out that you were from Oklahoma was an invitation to tell harrowing tales of narrow escapes from Indian raids.

Posted by: Furious George at May 01, 2015 04:20 PM (UlJ3l)

88 or "What part of Jamaica are you from?"

Posted by: Muldoon, a solid man at May 01, 2015 04:20 PM (mvenn)

89 The other one that always pissed me off was that
"oriental" suddenly became a slur. The word simply etymologically means
"East" or "of the East" and is of Latin origin. I suppose one could
object that this is Eurocentric, except for the fact that "Asia" is a
Latin place name also not used outside of the West.

Posted by: Alec Leamas at May 01, 2015 04:18 PM (kz2eW)

So I guess "Occidental" is a slur then too? What does Barky say when asked which college he went to before Columbia?

Posted by: Jay Guevara at May 01, 2015 04:20 PM (oKE6c)

90 You know what? This never works. I was once having a great night with friends and this from-County-Cork Irish bartender and I said to him something like "God bless you you Irish son of a bitch!

Heh.
On a similar vein, I did something similar once and got "I'm Welsh you ass." back at me.
Bartender was a good guy though, we got along pretty well and I kept drinking there.

Posted by: tsrblke, PhD(c) rogue bioethicst at May 01, 2015 04:20 PM (HDwDg)

91 80 I think they want to be cool and hip now. And edgy. And talk of microagressions and other bullshit is their way of trying to appear so.
Posted by: JoeF. at May 01, 2015 04:19 PM (7AGnl)

Tell them to go watch the M*A*S*H episode with "the slicky boys."

Posted by: J.J. Sefton at May 01, 2015 04:20 PM (St6BJ)

92 I like asians. They are such quaint, eccentric people with their funny accents. They may not be good at sports, but they have made many valuable contributions to America, namely in the area of cuisine and laundry and voting Democrat.

What I don't understand is that if they have the ability to pronounce both 'l' and 'r' properly, why can't they figure out how to pronounce them in the correct places?

Posted by: Barack Obama at May 01, 2015 04:20 PM (xkSSa)

93 Also, telling Asians apart by looks/name is made more difficult because many Southeast Asian countries have ethnic Chinese merchant or ruling classes. So for many Asians the correct answer could be one or both of two possible answers - one could be Taiwanese or Chinese, or Cambodian or Chinese, etc.

Posted by: Alec Leamas at May 01, 2015 04:21 PM (kz2eW)

94 This one time I was in sweden and although I'm 5'7" and like a midget girl there, I can pass because I am pale, have light hair and a few Vikings in the ancestral woodpile. They get mad at first when you turn out to be American for some reason. Then it's all quotes from American movies after that.

Posted by: Sarahw at May 01, 2015 04:21 PM (lv2k0)

95 86

60 bills a year to turn my kid into a whiny neurotic asshole?

Where do I sign?
Posted by: Wodeshed at May 01, 2015 04:20 PM (OeJe4)

Thread winner nominee.

Posted by: J.J. Sefton at May 01, 2015 04:21 PM (St6BJ)

96 Holy Mobius Triggering Microaggressions, Batman !!!

Posted by: The Boy Wonder at May 01, 2015 04:21 PM (e8kgV)

97 "you're my favorite Asian"

I laughed out loud at this, it's such a horribly awkward thing to say.

Now, I must deploy it on one of my Asian friends.

I think it'll go over well, since she recently told me a joke that made fun of Chinese accents.

Posted by: Heralder at May 01, 2015 04:21 PM (ECROs)

98 One of those three is not like the other, HR. Care to elaborate on dorky guys and drag queens?

I was just reading something the other day about straight guys who have a thing for drag queens, although I suppose gay guys do it, too. Reminded me of the doofs who just want to say they were out with a redhead and have no interest in the person under the hair.

Posted by: HR braucht ein Bier at May 01, 2015 04:21 PM (/kI1Q)

99 Cork people are notoriously sensitive. Be especially careful not to mention that they all smell like peat

I was keenly sensitive to the whole Peat Bog Thing, until I was dead ( then it didn't matter )

Posted by: Michael Collins at May 01, 2015 04:21 PM (8CdUx)

100 Asians trying to jump on the victimhood train are just plain embarasssing. It's beyond pathetic.

I get the "where are you from?" question all the time. It doesn't bother me that people ask. I get people are for some reason super interested in finding out what flavor of Asian a person is and for whatever reason it's limited to Asians getting this question. I like making people guess.

I also like playing dumb and telling them I was born in Los Angeles and when they ask me where my parents are born, I say California (it's true) so then they get exasperated and ask about my grandparents. I just think it's hilarious.

Posted by: Rum (coming back just this once) at May 01, 2015 04:21 PM (yogeF)

101 If I were the father of one of these fools I think I'd be making a phone call.

Sometime in middle school I'm going to have to have a conversation with my daughter about how there's money for her to go to college but not a penny for certain schools or certain programs and she better look around at the doctors and engineers among her cousins who came from nothing.

Posted by: The Devoceleraptor at May 01, 2015 04:22 PM (o+SC1)

102 Yes, I love that they vote Democrat.

http://tinyurl.com/lvw5dog

Posted by: Barack Obama at May 01, 2015 04:22 PM (xkSSa)

103 I'm bloody sick and tired of being microaggressed by Asians driving slowly in the left lane. I know they're doing on purpose to me, and me alone.

Posted by: pep at May 01, 2015 04:22 PM (LAe3v)

104 >>>> - "Did you live in an A-frame on the prairie?"

Wait. Thats a thing??

Posted by: Bigby's Finger Pointing to the Future at May 01, 2015 04:22 PM (3ZtZW)

105 93 Also, telling Asians apart by looks/name is made more difficult because many Southeast Asian countries have ethnic Chinese merchant or ruling classes. So for many Asians the correct answer could be one or both of two possible answers - one could be Taiwanese or Chinese, or Cambodian or Chinese, etc.
Posted by: Alec Leamas at May 01, 2015 04:21 PM (kz2eW)

There are only about 20 Chinese surnames. Most of the Chinese people who migrate are from one distinct area in China (told to me by my FiLs new Chinese wife)

Posted by: MikeH at May 01, 2015 04:22 PM (a5BHX)

106 ". The real problem with this is that people just aren't all that original and they ask the same questions over and over again"

Yeah, and that happens to *everyone*.

Do you know how many times I've been told "you sure have your hands full!" when I'm out with the kids? About 13.56 million.

And it *is* annoying. Yeah, no shit random stranger.

But "microaggressive"? No. It's just people are stupid and want to say something because silence makes them uncomfortable and they all think they're clever.

My husband is really, really blonde. People think he's albino. Every day of his life he's told "Wow! You are SOOOO blonde" Yep. People make annoying observations. That's life.

Posted by: Lauren at May 01, 2015 04:22 PM (MYCIw)

107 What I don't understand is that if they have the ability to pronounce both 'l' and 'r' properly, why can't they figure out how to pronounce them in the correct places?

So solly lound eye. Try the flied lice.
You been heah fo owa! You go now!

Posted by: rickb223 at May 01, 2015 04:23 PM (BdP+C)

108 I'll be back with triggering microaggressions

Posted by: Terminator at May 01, 2015 04:23 PM (e8kgV)

109 This was a sock, but I like it, and I think I'll ride it for a while.

Posted by: The Devoceleraptor at May 01, 2015 04:23 PM (o+SC1)

110 >>Simply having a Yankee express any kind of interest once he or she found
out that you were from Oklahoma was an invitation to tell harrowing
tales of narrow escapes from Indian raids.

Heh. Yeah, I got some stupid questions about knowing Indians, too.
It was especially funny when it came from a person from a W MA hick town who assumed everyone out West was way hickier, like, no exposure to culture at all.

Posted by: Lizzy at May 01, 2015 04:23 PM (2TN4k)

111 A cousin of mine finished college at Binghamton. He is born and raised in Baton Rouge. One day, a girl from Brooklyn looked him straight in the eye and earnestly said "how do you live with the guilt from slavery?" My cousin, raised properly, pointed out that his family came to the States in the 20th Century and had not owned any slaves and had no guilt over it.

Posted by: Penfold at May 01, 2015 04:23 PM (Fbt5B)

112 Little Known Fact: ace's real name is Sum Gai Ace

Posted by: Some Guy at May 01, 2015 04:23 PM (8o4xV)

113 where's the rum????????????

Posted by: John of Salisbury at May 01, 2015 04:23 PM (8CdUx)

114 or, "It's been so nice sharing a beer with you. Can I get you another TsingTao? Or would you prefer a Kirin? Corona? Smithwicks?"

Posted by: Muldoon, a solid man at May 01, 2015 04:23 PM (mvenn)

115 The more I ponder it, the more I realize that for a whole bunch of people on both sides of the political spectrum I am, in fact, the Scariest Thing Evah.

This is utterly hilarious in ways nearly too numerous to recount.

Oh and, ace? The end of this post is why you slice like a f'n hammer.

Posted by: alexthechick - Come to us SMOD at May 01, 2015 04:23 PM (UNFxP)

116 87 Being from Colorado I was asked questions like:
- "Did you live in an A-frame on the prairie?"
- "Did you have indoor plumbing" and
- "Boulder - that's where Liquor Mart is, right? Think I went there after a Dead concert..."
Silly me, I just wrote them down and laughed about it w/friends when I went home for Christmas.
Posted by: Chairman Mao

As an American in Europe years ago I was asked all kinds of questions that made clear that people thought that Americans all lived like the characters in Dynasty.

But my favorite one was when I was asked what impact a rain storm would have on a national election (an evergreen question there, because rain is supposed to disfavor the leftist parties, whose adherents apparently cannot afford umbrellas). They clearly had no grasp of the size of this country; if a rain storm hit the entire country, I told them, it was time to start building arks.

Posted by: Jay Guevara at May 01, 2015 04:23 PM (oKE6c)

117 I *wish* someone would ask where I'm from. Interesting story, including some district in Bavaria with my last name. A very not common last name.

Geez, is being *ashamed* of where your ancestors originated now something to be taken for granted?

Posted by: SE Pa Moron at May 01, 2015 04:23 PM (xQX/f)

118 One problem with asking women if they are pregnant is that you can have other conditions that cause a belly-that are not due to that. I knew a 30 something women who had tee shirt printed up-"No, I'm not pregnant; I have uterine cancer." She has since died but I admired her gutzy attitude to the intrusive questions of people she didn't know.

Posted by: FenelonSpoke at May 01, 2015 04:23 PM (DXzRD)

119 My worry is that they will try to ban the Hangover franchise someday.

Posted by: Zack Galifianakis at May 01, 2015 04:24 PM (xkSSa)

120 "Men are the ones with the penis..."

Much truth to that

Posted by: Chaz Bono at May 01, 2015 04:24 PM (VPLuQ)

121
I loved that guy who played Wo Fat on "Hawaii 5-0" as well as the bad guy in the original "Manchurian Candidate." But his name, as spelled, is unpronounceable.

I always say it as "Nyah Nyah."

Posted by: J.J. Sefton at May 01, 2015 04:24 PM (St6BJ)

122 I was drinking a few years ago with a Russian co-worker. He was complaining that he felt his English wasn't good enough for a promotion he was hoping to get.

I said "Shit Serge, for a Russian, I think you speak great English"
and he said... "I'm from fucking Scranton".
True story.

Posted by: jdub at May 01, 2015 04:24 PM (WDySP)

123 Argo ...

... go fuck yourself

Posted by: Microagression at May 01, 2015 04:25 PM (e8kgV)

124 Thing is, this stuff isn't really new.

We were suffering through this, and "rape culture," and whatnot in college 25 years ago.

It's just getting more play now, because Interwebs.

Posted by: Bob's House of Flannel Shirts and Wallet Chains at May 01, 2015 04:25 PM (vgIRn)

125 Size of fuxigive - micro.

Posted by: DaveA at May 01, 2015 04:25 PM (DL2i+)

126 I speak fluent Ching Chong, Ching Chong

Posted by: Rosie O'Donnel at May 01, 2015 04:25 PM (eOpVe)

127 120 "Men are the ones with the penis..."

Much truth to that
Posted by: Chaz Bono at May 01, 2015 04:24 PM (VPLuQ)

Thai lady boy love you LOOOOONG time, gwei lo!

Posted by: J.J. Sefton at May 01, 2015 04:25 PM (St6BJ)

128 Ace in a bar with "friends." I'm trying to picture that.

Posted by: Cicero (@cicero) at May 01, 2015 04:25 PM (8ZskC)

129 "Did you live in an A-frame on the prairie?"

Wait. Thats a thing??

****

My wife's father's widow's new boyfriend lives in an A-frame on the prairie (well it's a sagebrush flats) in the San Luis Valley of Southern Colorado. So yeah, it's a thing.

Posted by: Muldoon, a solid man at May 01, 2015 04:25 PM (mvenn)

130
103 I'm bloody sick and tired of being microaggressed by Asians driving slowly in the left lane.
Posted by: pep at May 01, 2015 04:22 PM

....with Maryland tags.

FIFY

Posted by: Some Guy at May 01, 2015 04:25 PM (8o4xV)

131 This is a true story: I know a woman who is the grand-daughter of Chinese immigrants and who was raised in North America. She once went on a trip to China and the people there just assumed, because of racism, that she could speak the language and she was forced to say, in English, that she could not understand them. She laughed when she told me this story, as though she thought it was funny but I know better because I have been to university and internet.

Posted by: the humanity at May 01, 2015 04:25 PM (lqQnn)

132 Also, I like Oriental because it sounds so much more exotic than Asian.

Posted by: Rum (coming back just this once) at May 01, 2015 04:26 PM (yogeF)

133 lots of Chinese in South Vietnam, there were ( but not in the ARVN )

'Cholon' in Saigon can be translated as either 'Chinatown' or 'Chink-town'

Posted by: John of Salisbury at May 01, 2015 04:26 PM (8CdUx)

134 I loved that guy who played Wo Fat on "Hawaii 5-0" as well as the bad guy in the original "Manchurian Candidate." But his name, as spelled, is unpronounceable.

I always say it as "Nyah Nyah."

Posted by: J.J. Sefton at May 01, 2015 04:24 PM (St6BJ)

Khigh Dhiegh, a great actor.

Posted by: MikeH at May 01, 2015 04:26 PM (a5BHX)

135 You know the favorite movie of Asian students at Brandeis?

"Torah, Torah, Torah."

Lumping in the non-Japanese with Japanese is a macro-aggression in some parts.

Posted by: ConservativeMonster at May 01, 2015 04:26 PM (0NdlF)

136 124 It's just getting more play now, because Interwebs.
Posted by: Bob's House of Flannel Shirts and Wallet Chains at May 01, 2015 04:25 PM (vgIRn)

The internet, in essence, has placed us all into a vast prison.

Posted by: J.J. Sefton at May 01, 2015 04:26 PM (St6BJ)

137 Ace in a bar with "friends." I'm trying to picture that.

****

Which part are you struggling with? The bar? Or the friends?

Posted by: Muldoon, a solid man at May 01, 2015 04:26 PM (mvenn)

138 I don't give a micro-fuck.
Posted by: maddogg at May 01, 2015 04:10 PM (xWW96)

I won't say you won the internet (because that's ace's 24/7) but you've definitely hit the microaggressing nail on it's racist little head.

Posted by: Bitter Clinger and All That at May 01, 2015 04:26 PM (zRby/)

139 Posted by: Rum (coming back just this once) at May 01, 2015 04:21 PM (yogeF)

Rum!

You need to collect the souls from the ONT. There's a giant pile somewhere next to the Barrel.

Posted by: ConservativeMonster at May 01, 2015 04:27 PM (0NdlF)

140 Simply having a Yankee express any kind of interest once he or she found out that you were from Oklahoma was an invitation to tell harrowing tales of narrow escapes from Indian raids.

Posted by: Furious George

Not. Funny.

Posted by: Elizabeth "High Cheeks Running Gag" Warren at May 01, 2015 04:27 PM (VAsIq)

141 All I know is that the Asian's I saw on election day were the same "F' whitey you owe me" Obama voters as ALL the other minority voters.

So much for them being so smart.

All second and third generation non-white immigrants really thrive on turning America into their non-white shit hole countries. The First generations were so thankful. Their spawn are spoiled MINORITIES.

Posted by: Misfortune & Pestilence at May 01, 2015 04:27 PM (8RxjS)

142 I have an uncanny skill to determine immediately if a female is Asian with only seeing her from behind. I'm correct 99% of the time.

Posted by: Cruzinator at May 01, 2015 04:27 PM (dBm7S)

143 Fucking Irish.

Posted by: Olson Johnson at May 01, 2015 04:27 PM (8ZskC)

144 Posted by:Lauren at May 01, 2015 04:22 PM (MYCIw)

I can see why that'd be annoying, at least take comfort in the fact they're not trying to be unkind. Like if they said "Wow, what happened to your face?!"

Posted by: Heralder at May 01, 2015 04:27 PM (ECROs)

145 134 Khigh Dhiegh, a great actor.
Posted by: MikeH at May 01, 2015 04:26 PM (a5BHX)

Yes. But still, Nyah Nyah.

Posted by: J.J. Sefton at May 01, 2015 04:27 PM (St6BJ)

146 You been heah fo owa! You go now!
Posted by: rickb223 at May 01, 2015 04:23 PM (BdP+C)

**************************************

Michael Graham once played the "Buffet" skit. That was hilarious.

Posted by: Sunni LeBeouf at May 01, 2015 04:27 PM (xkSSa)

147 Wife has a Chinese coworker, he's lived in the US since he was 2, I don't think she speaks a word of Chinese.

He has a Chinese first name, but more or less had it formally changed to "Bob" some time back.

Hates when he goes to Chinese restaurants and they talk to him in Chinese.

Relatedly, in my class we have a lot of Asian students. My liberal as hell boss tries very hard with the names. One of them has an Asian (Chinese maybe?) name on the attendance sheet, tells us she goes by something like "Sarah." (I forget what it was, fairly common American name)

My boss says "no I'll get this" and tries again. I look back and go "you really prefer just going by "Sarah" don't you." She says "yes." I briefly mention my wife's coworker being that way too.

I felt bad for my boss, her liberal multiculturalism was ironically somewhat offensive here.

Posted by: tsrblke, PhD(c) rogue bioethicst at May 01, 2015 04:27 PM (HDwDg)

148 But I wouldn't ask that, because now I know it's the Worst Thing Ever to
try to find out if the person you're speaking to is of Korean or
Chinese, or Korean or Japanese, extraction, because like You Should Just Know Or Something.

And if you DON'T know, that's also a microaggression.

Posted by: Pappy O'Daniel at May 01, 2015 04:28 PM (oVJmc)

149 "As an American in Europe years ago I was asked all kinds of questions
that made clear that people thought that Americans all lived like the
characters in Dynasty."

That and "how many guns to you own?" Unfortunately or not I couldn't dispel the stereotype, but many Euros and Australians seem fascinated by the very fact of firearms.

Posted by: Alec Leamas at May 01, 2015 04:28 PM (kz2eW)

150 135 You know the favorite movie of Asian students at Brandeis?

"Torah, Torah, Torah."

Lumping in the non-Japanese with Japanese is a macro-aggression in some parts.
Posted by: ConservativeMonster at May 01, 2015 04:26 PM (0NdlF)

Jews bombing Pearl Harbor. With lawsuits.

Posted by: J.J. Sefton at May 01, 2015 04:28 PM (St6BJ)

151 142
it's called boney ass

Posted by: Mr Wizard at May 01, 2015 04:28 PM (eOpVe)

152 Ace, a jap, a chink and gook walk into a bar . . .

(this joke is slanted so; TRIGGER WARNING)

Posted by: Bitter Clinger and All That at May 01, 2015 04:28 PM (zRby/)

153 They clearly had no grasp of the size of this country; if a rain storm hit the entire country, I told them, it was time to start building arks.

20th floor of my office building in Dallas looking west.
Cloud tops at 72,000 ft.

Only place in the state with clouds that big that day?
Abilene.

Posted by: rickb223 at May 01, 2015 04:28 PM (BdP+C)

154 I had an Asian coworker complain one morning ...

"I hate eggs" ..

.. "Eggs ?" ..

.. "you know .. white on the outside but yellow on the inside.
I hate these Whites who pal around with you because they want to be Asian."

True story.

Posted by: Microagression at May 01, 2015 04:28 PM (e8kgV)

155 "God bless you you Irish son of a bitch!"
ace

As an American of Irish descent, I can say that it probably wasn't the fact that you called him an "irish son of a bitch" that offended him, it was probably the fact that you were drinking red wine in an Irish pub.

Just saying.

Posted by: mynewhandle at May 01, 2015 04:28 PM (AkOaV)

156 >>>> except for the fact that "Asia" is a Latin place name also not used outside of the West.

Not to mention that Asia is the hugest continent with a population consisting of Yellow, White, Brown, Red, and Black ethnicities. So them claiming to be Asian is Cultural and Geographic Imperialism at its worst, doods

Posted by: Bigby's Finger Pointing to the Future at May 01, 2015 04:28 PM (3ZtZW)

157 Ace, you should always provide a safe space thread for those who come here and have a thread like this enter their field of vision without their consent.

Posted by: Marmo at May 01, 2015 04:28 PM (QW+AD)

158 I think Asians have a bug up their ass because they
are tired of being referred to as "model immigrants." I think they
perceive that compliment as a slight. Maybe it is patronizing to a
point. I think they want to be cool and hip now. And edgy. And talk of
microagressions and other bullshit is their way of trying to appear so.

Posted by: JoeF. at May 01, 2015 04:19 PM (7AGnl)

Yeah, much better to be referred to as an obnoxious group that creates a lot of problems.

Posted by: Jay Guevara at May 01, 2015 04:28 PM (oKE6c)

159 Which part are you struggling with? The bar? Or the friends?

The bar is the easy part, if you include the area behind the dumpster behind the bar as part of "the bar."

It's the "friends" part I'm not getting.

Posted by: Cicero (@cicero) at May 01, 2015 04:29 PM (8ZskC)

160 152 Ace, a jap, a chink and gook walk into a bar . . .

(this joke is slanted so; TRIGGER WARNING)
Posted by: Bitter Clinger and All That at May 01, 2015 04:28 PM (zRby/)

You are on a slippery slope.

Posted by: J.J. Sefton at May 01, 2015 04:29 PM (St6BJ)

161 @102 - that's not an absolute.

Asians have mostly ended up in urban areas, and they gravitate toward the power structure of where they're at (it's either that or be totally disenfranchised like, uh, me)

Here in California we've already seen the first little tussle between the Ascendant Hispanics who have numbers and the Asians who have money, organization, and above all commitment over affirmative action.

If you're gonna tell a Chinese parent their kid can't go to UC because forty Mexicans with lower grades and lower scores have to get in for 'equity', that's casus belli.

Really. That's war.

Posted by: The Devoceleraptor at May 01, 2015 04:29 PM (o+SC1)

162 @74 Lizzy. "Just don't ask them for a ride"

I see you've met my wife and her friends, whom I often accuse of DWO (driving while oriental).

One of her friends took the cake though. Totalled her car by running off the road into a horse barn during the day, with no other traffic around. And yes, she managed to injure a horse too.

Posted by: The Walking Dude at May 01, 2015 04:29 PM (cCxiu)

163

Jews bombing Pearl Harbor. With lawsuits.

Naturally, on a Sunday.

Posted by: Pappy O'Daniel at May 01, 2015 04:29 PM (oVJmc)

164 .. "you know .. white on the outside but yellow on the inside.
I hate these Whites who pal around with you because they want to be Asian."

True story.

Posted by: Microagression at May 01, 2015 04:28 PM (e8kgV)

*quietly burns kimono*

Posted by: MikeH at May 01, 2015 04:29 PM (a5BHX)

165 lol @ liberal Asians

they're lower on the victim hierarchy than liberal jews

Posted by: Grad School Fool at May 01, 2015 04:29 PM (A9KzJ)

166 My sister's best friend, who is Chinese, does this thing in explaining Chinese vs Japanese vs Korean in which he differentiates them according to the folds in the corners of their eyes, then demonstrates the folds. He had a phase where he wanted to be Japanese because they were cooler, but he always thought Koreans were just gross.

Did I mention that Asians can be some of the worst racists on the whole planet? I love her BFF to death but seriously.

Posted by: LizLem at May 01, 2015 04:29 PM (yRwC8)

167
>>even as whitey who rarely faces the "Where do you come from?" question.

Also, EVERYONE in college gets asked where they are from, immediately.

Being from Arkansas I got a lot of questions about Bill Clinton, whether people wore shoes and the civil war *eyeroll*

Posted by: Lea at May 01, 2015 04:29 PM (lIU4e)

168 I went to an evening market in far western China a few years back. Basically a farmer's market plus homemade goods. My group was two Americans, one Brit, and one Indonesian who spoke Chinese.

The fact that people ran to get their children from bed so they could see a white person for the first time amused me, certainly did not offend.

Posted by: Vashta Nerada at May 01, 2015 04:29 PM (/i3Yt)

169 >>My wife's father's widow's new boyfriend lives in an A-frame on the
prairie (well it's a sagebrush flats) in the San Luis Valley of Southern
Colorado. So yeah, it's a thing

I was asked that by a smirky guy who thought it was cute to pretend life in CO was like an episode of "Little House on the Prairie."

Posted by: Lizzy at May 01, 2015 04:29 PM (2TN4k)

170 Ace, a jap, a chink and gook walk into a bar . . .

Hey, WTF???

Posted by: A Rabbi at May 01, 2015 04:29 PM (8ZskC)

171 God bless you you Irish son of a bitch!"

Well we do love our mothers.

Posted by: DaveA at May 01, 2015 04:30 PM (DL2i+)

172 Oh, that's an interesting accent you have, where are you from? Isn't it funny that I take no offense when people ask me this? Of course, my answer is Texas. It's like a whole other country. Oh, so you have an oil well in your backyard and road a horse to school? Umm, no.

Posted by: no good deed at May 01, 2015 04:30 PM (GgxVX)

173 I think this is a sign of things to come.

When no one else will even talk to them, the special little snowflakes are going to revert to attacking their own.
Circular firing squad, if you will.

Who has the popcorn?

Posted by: Felonious Monk at May 01, 2015 04:30 PM (3241I)

174 Ever listen to the comic Henry Cho. He has a very southern accent. He has great comedic takes on this subject.

Posted by: Cruzinator at May 01, 2015 04:30 PM (dBm7S)

175 Little known fact

Maryland Governor, Larry Hogan (R).

Check out his personal life.

Nothing wrong with it.
Actually pretty interesting.

Posted by: Village Idiot's Apprentice at May 01, 2015 04:30 PM (VPLuQ)

176 It's the "friends" part I'm not getting.
Posted by: Cicero (@cicero) at May 01, 2015 04:29 PM (8ZskC)

he does have "friends", they are magic and invisible and love everything about him

Posted by: MikeH at May 01, 2015 04:30 PM (a5BHX)

177 I dream of a day when we can all get along, black, white, I don't even care if they are purple. LOL, All men living in peace and harmony for 1000 years, but not the fuckin Dutch.

Posted by: People Corp at May 01, 2015 04:31 PM (TzeLs)

178 142
I have an uncanny skill to determine immediately if a female is Asian
with only seeing her from behind. I'm correct 99% of the time.

Posted by: Cruzinator at May 01, 2015 04:27 PM (dBm7S)

Holy shit dude, I thought I was the only one with this power.

Posted by: Heralder at May 01, 2015 04:31 PM (ECROs)

179
Barack Obama walks into a bar with a parrot on his head.
Bartender says "Hey, that's cool! Where'd you get it?"
Parrot says "Kenya".

Posted by: Wodeshed at May 01, 2015 04:31 PM (OeJe4)

180 Geez, stupid autocorrect. "rode a horse"

Posted by: no good deed at May 01, 2015 04:31 PM (GgxVX)

181 166 Posted by: LizLem at May 01, 2015 04:29 PM (yRwC

The Koreans are known as the Irish of Asia. Anyway, doesn't one of these Asiatic groups get surgery on their eyes to make them almond shaped? Costs like thousands of dollars or something?

Posted by: J.J. Sefton at May 01, 2015 04:31 PM (St6BJ)

182 I'm bloody sick and tired of being microaggressed by Asians driving slowly in the left lane.

BIL has a funny system for IDing micro-aggressing drivers.

Score them on the number of Os.

Old
Oriental
Ovaries

Posted by: ConservativeMonster at May 01, 2015 04:32 PM (0NdlF)

183 "Men are the ones with the penis..."

Much truth to that

Posted by: Chaz Bono

While technically true, we rate this claim "Mostly False"

Posted by: PunditFuct at May 01, 2015 04:32 PM (VAsIq)

184 I've always believed people will tell you what they think is important about themselves in the first 5 minutes of conversation. To that end, I confine my remarks to those points, or to generalized observations about the weather.

Posted by: jwpaine at May 01, 2015 04:32 PM (0bXhD)

185 Also, EVERYONE in college gets asked where they are from, immediately.

No! It's just me! I'm special!

Posted by: Zpecial Znowflake at May 01, 2015 04:32 PM (J0IP0)

186 AtC, why scary to the Right?

Posted by: acethepug at May 01, 2015 04:33 PM (WK825)

187 "Did you have indoor plumbing"

I've heard that a few times from people when I tell them I grew up in Iowa.

Posted by: HR braucht ein Bier at May 01, 2015 04:33 PM (/kI1Q)

188 Being from Arkansas I got a lot of questions about Bill Clinton, whether people wore shoes and the civil war *eyeroll*
Posted by: Lea at May 01, 2015 04:29 PM (lIU4e)

It's only understandable if you're from Pine Bluff.

You're not from Pine Bluff, right?

Posted by: Sean Bannion at May 01, 2015 04:33 PM (8o4xV)

189 Such a vicious cycle. I am guilty of microaggressions, because I myself am a victim of microaggressions. And it loops infinitely as we approach critical stupid.

Posted by: Microaggressing the Microaggressor at May 01, 2015 04:33 PM (pS7Ne)

190 And on and on it goes ad infinitum.

Enough!

Your feelings are hurt? Really?

Hmmm. I really don't giaf! No seriously, I thought about it and decided I don't give half a fuck!

How about that? Get over yourself or don't, I do not care one way or the other!

Next!

Posted by: Suppressed Flasher at May 01, 2015 04:33 PM (X+nFp)

191 As a redhead I just need to say, damn you all are some sensitive little bitches.

Microaggression my ass.

Posted by: typo dynamofo at May 01, 2015 04:33 PM (i7JE3)

192 I also had a white liberal teacher ask me my senior year of high school what it was like to grow up Asian in America. He had just adopted two babies from China and was looking for insight about raising them knowing their culture. I couldn't give him any advice because I consider myself American.

Also went on a first and last date where the guy told me if he hadn't know I was Asian, he would've thought I was white because I had no accent. I flipping grew up in Los Angeles, dude!

Posted by: Rum (coming back just this once) at May 01, 2015 04:33 PM (yogeF)

193 " Oh, so you have an oil well in your backyard and road a horse to school? Umm, no."

It's also funny when you don't have an accent.
"But...but...you don't sound like you're from Texas!"

Posted by: Lauren at May 01, 2015 04:33 PM (MYCIw)

194 Posted by: Jay Guevara at May 01, 2015 04:28 PM (oKE6c)

In college, I used to date a girl from Korea (like, from Korea. foreign exchange student) so I got to know a lot of the Asian kids on campus.

Did not find any of them to have sticks up their ass about race.

Did hear some complaints about the "where are you from?" type questions, but I mean... I don't know, I never got the impression that they were deeply offended by it.

And frankly, Koreans at least, were very, uh... un-PC about race.

Posted by: mynewhandle at May 01, 2015 04:33 PM (AkOaV)

195 185 Also, EVERYONE in college gets asked where they are from, immediately.

No! It's just me! I'm special!
Posted by: Zpecial Znowflake at May 01, 2015 04:32 PM (J0IP0)

You from Queens? No, I'm from normal folks.

Posted by: J.J. Sefton at May 01, 2015 04:33 PM (St6BJ)

196 Ace, a jap, a chink and gook walk into a bar . . .
(this joke is slanted so; TRIGGER WARNING)
Posted by: Bitter Clinger

You are on a slippery slope.

If you squint, you can see it.

Posted by: rickb223 at May 01, 2015 04:34 PM (BdP+C)

197 >>Ever listen to the comic Henry Cho. He has a very southern accent.

Russell Peters - quick, guess his ethnicity!

Posted by: Lizzy at May 01, 2015 04:34 PM (2TN4k)

198 But....

CHARLIE CHAN!!!!

Posted by: Asian Activists at May 01, 2015 04:34 PM (oVJmc)

199 98,

Are the guys who don't care about what's under the hair more annoying or less than the ones who ask about carpet matching the drapes?

Posted by: Brandon In Baton Rouge at May 01, 2015 04:35 PM (FE+I8)

200 196 If you squint, you can see it.
Posted by: rickb223 at May 01, 2015 04:34 PM (BdP+C)

Too much dinking around here.

Posted by: J.J. Sefton at May 01, 2015 04:35 PM (St6BJ)

201 Fucking Irish.

Posted by: Olson Johnson

Fooking Scandi Snow-wop.

Posted by: Irish at May 01, 2015 04:35 PM (VAsIq)

202 ATC: "The more I ponder it, the more I realize that for a whole bunch of people on both sides of the political
spectrum I am, in fact, the Scariest Thing Evah. "

Please elaborate. Ma'am.

Posted by: phunctor unsocked at May 01, 2015 04:35 PM (alVBS)

203 198 But....

CHARLIE CHAN!!!!
Posted by: Asian Activists at May 01, 2015 04:34 PM (oVJmc)

Fuck you. It's Paul Muni and Louise Rainer so deal with it!

Posted by: zombie L.B. Mayer at May 01, 2015 04:35 PM (St6BJ)

204
>>Ever listen to the comic Henry Cho. He has a very southern accent.

Russell Peters - quick, guess his ethnicity!<<

I have a good friend who's a Chinese dude from South Carolina. Went to school at Alabama, and sounds like it. He's a meat-and-three restaurant aficionado too.

Posted by: Wodeshed at May 01, 2015 04:36 PM (OeJe4)

205 Yeah, the whole "you speak with the wrong accent" thing really gets old.

Posted by: B. Jindal at May 01, 2015 04:36 PM (LAe3v)

206
Henry Cho? Any relation to Margaret?

Posted by: J.J. Sefton at May 01, 2015 04:36 PM (St6BJ)

207
Henry Cho? Any relation to Margaret?

I think they're brothers.

Posted by: Pappy O'Daniel at May 01, 2015 04:37 PM (oVJmc)

208 Yeah, the whole "you speak with the wrong accent" thing really gets old.

Ah can't tell y'all how tahrrred I am of that.

HillaryIsJustLikeYouMeaningBlack

Posted by: Sir Hillary Edmund Rodham Clinton at May 01, 2015 04:38 PM (8ZskC)

209

Wonder what would happen if I wore my "I'm big in Japan" tee shirt around the Brandeis campus.

Posted by: Wodeshed at May 01, 2015 04:38 PM (OeJe4)

210 Posted by: Wodeshed at May 01, 2015 04:36 PM (OeJe4)

I used to work with an Indian guy who grew up in South Carolina.

Talked with the guy on the phone for over a year before I met him in person.

Had no idea he was Indian until I met him.

Posted by: mynewhandle at May 01, 2015 04:38 PM (AkOaV)

211 Are the guys who don't care about what's under the hair more
annoying or less than the ones who ask about carpet matching the drapes?

They're all annoying, but asking guarantees you won't find out.

Posted by: HR braucht ein Bier at May 01, 2015 04:38 PM (/kI1Q)

212 I'm sorry I've always wanted to understand the driving into horse barn phenomenon. There has to be something physiological behind it but it's an impolite curiosity.

Posted by: Sarahw at May 01, 2015 04:38 PM (lv2k0)

213 Asians who get furious over the 'microaggression' of asking their ancestry deserve to be told "So I'm guessing you're filipino, right?" immediately. They'll love that.
Posted by: Crude at May 01, 2015 04:08 PM (DUynq)

I ain't gonna lie - I LOLed.

Posted by: Grabthar's Hammer at May 01, 2015 04:39 PM (Edob3)

214 Honestly, I do not get what's so aesthetically appealing about the angular, buggy eyed look. I think this is another case of the survivor guilt/pity f*ck mentality. A whole civilization committing suicide over that nonsense, and the rivals being so depraved that they feel no pangs of conscience over it.

Posted by: Sunni LeBeouf at May 01, 2015 04:39 PM (xkSSa)

215
202 ATC: "The more I ponder it, the more I realize that for a whole bunch of people on both sides of the political
spectrum I am, in fact, the Scariest Thing Evah. "

Please elaborate. Ma'am.

Posted by: phunctor unsocked at May 01, 2015 04:35 PM (alVBS)

*licks chops*

Posted by: Raptor Ravage at May 01, 2015 04:39 PM (0NdlF)

216 Wonder what would happen if I wore my "I'm big in Japan" tee shirt around the Brandeis campus.

It'd be funnier it it was a belt buckle.

Posted by: no good deed at May 01, 2015 04:39 PM (GgxVX)

217 "Did you have indoor plumbing"

----

Isn't that question sexist?

Posted by: Turd Ferguson at May 01, 2015 04:39 PM (VAsIq)

218 When I graduated from University in Louisiana I went to NYC to try and get a job in advertising. Went I went for interviews I could tell my accent at that time was like stabbing them in the eardrums with an ice pick. I definitely felt some bias but did my best to assimilate.

Posted by: Cruzinator at May 01, 2015 04:39 PM (dBm7S)

219 It was funny a bunch of years ago when a friend of mine, second-generation US-born Chinese, went to Hong Kong and came home infatuated with 'cute chicks who speak with a British accent'.

Posted by: The Devoceleraptor at May 01, 2015 04:40 PM (o+SC1)

220 Chicagoans are easy to tell apart
It's either Cubs or that other team which is worthless of course

Posted by: Navycopjoe at May 01, 2015 04:40 PM (3sozU)

221
Talked with the guy on the phone for over a year before I met him in person.

Had no idea he was Indian until I met him.

Call center?

Posted by: Pappy O'Daniel at May 01, 2015 04:40 PM (oVJmc)

222 And frankly, Koreans at least, were very, uh... un-PC about race.

Posted by: mynewhandle at May 01, 2015 04:33 PM (AkOaV)

Oh yes. Koreans look down on whites. Their views on other races are off-scale.

Posted by: Jay Guevara at May 01, 2015 04:40 PM (oKE6c)

223
Kitties demanding food. Must feed them.

Be back later. Chop chop!

Posted by: J.J. Sefton at May 01, 2015 04:40 PM (St6BJ)

224 sorry I've always wanted to understand the driving into horse barn phenomenon. There has to be something physiological behind it but it's an impolite curiosity.
Posted by: Sarahw at May 01, 2015 04:38 PM (lv2k0)

Ah. You must be sven's sister. Welcome.

Posted by: Sean Bannion at May 01, 2015 04:40 PM (8o4xV)

225 @216 - it'd be funnier if it were a Speedo.

Posted by: The Devoceleraptor at May 01, 2015 04:40 PM (o+SC1)

226 "The more I ponder it, the more I realize that for a whole bunch of people on both sides of the political
spectrum I am, in fact, the Scariest Thing Evah. "

I admit to a healthy fear, but it's just self-preservation and awe.

Posted by: HR braucht ein Bier at May 01, 2015 04:41 PM (/kI1Q)

227 Take the micro-aggression from my hand, grasshopper.

Posted by: Citizen Cake at May 01, 2015 04:41 PM (ppaKI)

228 So does this mean I can claim microaggression when people ask about my ancestors country of origin of problems in pronouncing my last name? I mean it's German and it sometimes give people pause is how to say it. So woohoo I'm a victim!

Posted by: Buzzion at May 01, 2015 04:41 PM (z/Ubi)

229 mumble still kinda curious about the a frame whatever mumble

Posted by: Bigby's Finger Pointing to the Future at May 01, 2015 04:41 PM (3ZtZW)

230 218 When I graduated from University in Louisiana I went to NYC to try and get a job in advertising. Went I went for interviews I could tell my accent at that time was like stabbing them in the eardrums with an ice pick. I definitely felt some bias but did my best to assimilate.

Posted by: Cruzinator at May 01, 2015 04:39 PM (dBm7S)

I can't imagine how the Boston accent goes down in the South. It makes my ears bleed.

Posted by: Jay Guevara at May 01, 2015 04:41 PM (oKE6c)

231 >>>What I don't understand is that if they have the ability to pronounce both 'l' and 'r' properly, why can't they figure out how to pronounce them in the correct places?

i don't think they do "have the ability." if you're not taught how to pronounce word sounds from a very young age, it is very hard to learn. I know the Japanese, for one example, have relatively few word sounds in their language, so when they try to speak english, they're at a disadvantage.

i am having a lot of trouble learning the Italian/Spanish rolled r and am pretty much going to give up, I think. French people cannot pronounce "th," as th doesn't exist in french, so they say "weavveh" for "weather."

Posted by: ace at May 01, 2015 04:41 PM (PA7DS)

232 Hi, Rum! Long time no see!

Posted by: Otis Criblecoblis at May 01, 2015 04:42 PM (IAe6t)

233 Also somewhat annoying, referring to me as Grrrrl! I may be black, but I never actually talk that way, being African and all?

Now, after someone says that to me, do I go off in a corner and form myself into a fetal ball of microaggression- (OMG, Google didn't underline that as a nonword!) induced PTSD victimhood? Nope, I just brush it off and continue my interaction with the person, not really holding it against the person, who is usually just trying to be friendly.

Oh, and ACE, Jim Geraghty has been mentioning you a lot in the Morning Jolt and his Three Martini Lunch podcast. I think he's begging you to have him back on the podcast, LOL. (Or maybe you just frequently make very good points.)

Posted by: chique d'afrique (the artist formerly known as african chick) at May 01, 2015 04:42 PM (shFKH)

234
>>Had no idea he was Indian until I met him.

Call center?<<

Lol.

Posted by: Wodeshed at May 01, 2015 04:42 PM (OeJe4)

235
Your feelings are hurt? Really?
---
I once worked with a guy that would call his wife constantly, and one day came and sat down mad, and I asked what was wrong. He said him and his wife had an agreement, he would call at lunch and she would answer. So I said, well, shes probably fucking the neighbor. (fkin whiny bitch)

Posted by: People Corp at May 01, 2015 04:42 PM (TzeLs)

236 Posted by: Cruzinator at May 01, 2015 04:39 PM (dBm7S)

Yes, accents from the deep south can be very annoying for us yankees.

It's like "spit it out, asshole, there is no reason to drag out syllables like that. And there's no reason to mush those two words together, either. Just enunciate. Quickly.

Posted by: mynewhandle at May 01, 2015 04:43 PM (AkOaV)

237 Those racist white Christian Americans made me get my plastic surgery to make my eyes more white looking.

They tied me up and dragged me to the plastic surgeon. Even made me have an affair with a married man who just happened to be my Jewish boss, the head of CBS entertainment, Les Moonves.

Thank God were now married now and he gave me my own show. The Talk - you know the rip off of The View and I have so I can tell you all about what those rotten, racist white Christian people did to me.

I like to tell this story repeatedly so you all know just how bad I've had it as a minority in racist, white America.

Posted by: Julie Chen at May 01, 2015 04:43 PM (8RxjS)

238 C'mon, dammit! We gotta get in on this "microagression" scam!

Posted by: The Asians at May 01, 2015 04:43 PM (YFFpo)

239 If you're friends with anyone Asian, particularly more recently-arrived Asians, get a few drinks in them and get them going on what they think of other Asians. Summary: everyone hates the Japanese

Posted by: brak at May 01, 2015 04:43 PM (Tj+s6)

240 I can't imagine how the Boston accent goes down in the South. It makes my ears bleed.
Posted by: Jay Guevara at May 01, 2015 04:41 PM

I was born and raised here and it makes me want to take an ice pick to my ears. Somehow I managed to grow up without a discernible accent. No one at school believed I was from MA.

Posted by: RedMindBlueState at May 01, 2015 04:43 PM (h4vJk)

241 @235 - text instead, it's only polite.

Posted by: The neighbor at May 01, 2015 04:44 PM (o+SC1)

242 192. RUM!!!!!!
The woman my wife wants to shop with!
Hope life is treating you great!!

Posted by: Navycopjoe at May 01, 2015 04:44 PM (3sozU)

243 Posted by: Rum (coming back just this once) at May 01, 2015 04:33 PM (yogeF)

I had a lab instructor one time who was of Chinese-Jamaican descent. She didn't have the accent (clearly raised here in the States), but I've known a few who do.

Also in college, the man who ran the physics lab was very obviously of Asian descent, but was normally very quiet. The one time he did talk, he was having a conversation with my lab instructor in Spanish. His accent was Cuban.

Posted by: Microaggressing the Microaggressor at May 01, 2015 04:44 PM (78OXS)

244 Chicagoans are easy to tell apart

It's either Cubs or that other team which is worthless of course

You mean the one with a world series win in living memory?

Posted by: Methos at May 01, 2015 04:44 PM (ZbV+0)

245 French people cannot pronounce "th," as th doesn't exist in french, so they say "weavveh" for "weather."

Posted by: ace at May 01, 2015 04:41 PM (PA7DS)

Heck, some British people can't pronounce it either.

Ace, have you listened to the Coffee Break French podcasts? I think they're really good. I paid for some other thing, but I think Coffee Break French is superior and I'll probably buy some of the advanced lessons soon.

Posted by: chique d'afrique (the artist formerly known as african chick) at May 01, 2015 04:44 PM (shFKH)

246 It's like "spit it out, asshole, there is no reason
to drag out syllables like that. And there's no reason to mush those two
words together, either. Just enunciate. Quickly.

Posted by: mynewhandle at May 01, 2015 04:43 PM (AkOaV)

Speak for yourself, I love a southern accent.

Posted by: Heralder at May 01, 2015 04:44 PM (ECROs)

247 218
When I graduated from University in Louisiana I went to NYC to try and
get a job in advertising. Went I went for interviews I could tell my
accent at that time was like stabbing them in the eardrums with an ice
pick. I definitely felt some bias but did my best to assimilate.

Posted by: Cruzinator

You can understand why. I mean, who wants to listen to Scarlett O'Hara when you can listen to Fran Drescher.

Posted by: pep at May 01, 2015 04:44 PM (LAe3v)

248 >>>I was once having a great night with friends and this from-County-Cork Irish bartender and I said to him something like "God bless you you Irish son of a bitch!"

You know what he did? Threw me out of the fucking bar, that's what he did, even after I apologized profusely for ten minutes.

I don't understand why this required an apology. It's endearing. Isn't it?

Posted by: m at May 01, 2015 04:44 PM (WIUGG)

249 If you're friends with anyone Asian, particularly more recently-arrived Asians, get a few drinks in them and get them going on what they think of other Asians. Summary: everyone hates the Japanese

Posted by: brak

We humbly apologize.
*bow*

Posted by: Japanese at May 01, 2015 04:44 PM (VAsIq)

250 Posted by: Pappy O'Daniel at May 01, 2015 04:40 PM (oVJmc)

No, high end sales guy for a vendor I worked with.

Posted by: mynewhandle at May 01, 2015 04:44 PM (AkOaV)

251 >>> One day, a girl from Brooklyn looked him straight in the eye and earnestly said "how do you live with the guilt from slavery?"

Can I say that I love that the Breitbart team has been doing in depth reports on Ben Affleck's ancestry since he tried to whitewash that dumb PBS show? Over a dozen of his relatives now have been found to be slaveholders or slaveowners. The white guilt must be crushing his soul.

I wish I thought it would lead to a period of self reflection and enlightenment on his part, about the sins of the fathers not being the responsibility of the sons and such. But in reality it will probably just make him an even bigger A-hole than before.

Will someone bring up his ancestry when he finally does a batman press junket? If he were a conservative you know they would.

Posted by: LizLem at May 01, 2015 04:45 PM (yRwC8)

252 Wonder what would happen if I wore my "I'm big in Japan" tee shirt around the Brandeis campus.

My wife and I are both on the tall side for our gender, and we felt like Godzilla and Rodan in Japan. In out of the way villages (where apparently few foreigners ever ventured) children used to follow us around, astonished.

Posted by: Jay Guevara at May 01, 2015 04:45 PM (oKE6c)

253 Naaa.... There has to be more to this story.
How can a bartender in a big city ( I always picture ace in NYC) be that sensitive?

There has to be something ace isn't remembering like drinking white russians and fingering his ass.

Posted by: River Guide at May 01, 2015 04:45 PM (RJMhd)

254 Somehow I managed to grow up without a discernible accent. No one at school believed I was from MA.

Posted by: RedMindBlueState

I thank television for teaching me how to speak properly.

Posted by: Turd Ferguson at May 01, 2015 04:45 PM (VAsIq)

255 222 And frankly, Koreans at least, were very, uh... un-PC about race.

Posted by: mynewhandle at May 01, 2015 04:33 PM (AkOaV)

Oh yes. Koreans look down on whites. Their views on other races are off-scale.
Posted by: Jay Guevara at May 01, 2015 04:40 PM (oKE6c)

And the Japanese look down on Koreans....

Posted by: Jeff Weimer at May 01, 2015 04:45 PM (Edob3)

256 Being from Arkansas I got a lot of questions about Bill Clinton, whether people wore shoes and the civil war *eyeroll*
Posted by: Lea
_________________

The proper answer to whether people "back home" wear shoes is to look irritated and reply, "Only the pretentious ones."

Posted by: Furious George at May 01, 2015 04:45 PM (UlJ3l)

257 Women tell me that I'm tall, hairy and hung like a moose. It's only when they tell me that I need to take a bath that I feel the microaggression coming on.

Posted by: Sasquatch at May 01, 2015 04:45 PM (3lbck)

258
That and "how many guns to you own?" Unfortunately or not I couldn't dispel the stereotype, but many Euros and Australians seem fascinated by the very fact of firearms.

I used to work in the language services (translation) industry. Everyone in the industry is liberal. What I liked about it is that everyone speaks multiple languages and is interested in all sorts of cultures.

I was at dinner at a conference in Dublin a few years ago and we were having a good old time. I was the only American at the table, but I'm the kind who speaks languages and is interested in cultures so they assumed I was one of them. And one of them said "how 'bout those Americans and their guns" or similar. And jokingly asked me if I had guns.

And oh sure, I do. And here's why, and not duck hunting, and self-sovereignty.

It was so much fun to watch all the jaws drop.

Posted by: Bandersnatch at May 01, 2015 04:46 PM (JtwS4)

259 Posted by: Heralder at May 01, 2015 04:44 PM (ECROs)

Well, I mean... Maryland or Virginia is fine... little hint of a southern twang, but still very understandable.

Once you get past Georgia, forget it.

Posted by: mynewhandle at May 01, 2015 04:46 PM (AkOaV)

260
>>he always thought Koreans were just gross. Did I mention that Asians can be some of the worst racists on the whole planet?

Apparently Chinese people hate Koreans. I learned this from a chinese friend who would randomly talk smack about koreans for no reason. Kind of took me by surprise the first few times...

Posted by: Lea at May 01, 2015 04:46 PM (lIU4e)

261 You mean the one with a world series win in living memory?

You mean both teams in this case
Ie: Vic was there

Posted by: Navycopjoe at May 01, 2015 04:46 PM (3sozU)

262 Yes, accents from the deep south can be very annoying for us yankees.

Oh hell no! I know you didn't go there.

From the land of the silent freaking "r"?

It's not a cah! It is in fact a car.

Posted by: Suppressed Flasher at May 01, 2015 04:46 PM (X+nFp)

263 Lol. Henry Cho.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0Ca1ozykhJI

Posted by: Raptor Ravage at May 01, 2015 04:46 PM (0NdlF)

264
APAHM 2015: SKIN Red Carpet
Brandeis Asian American Students Association - BAASA

www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1556531565

[pic] http://tinyurl.com/lpp7y8n

Second from the left, in the pink dress.

Mmmmmmmm....trigger warning.

Posted by: Laurie David's Cervix at May 01, 2015 04:46 PM (kdS6q)

265 My first real girlfriend was ethnically Chinese, but her family had come to the US from Latin America where they'd been for something like three generations.

So, yeah.

Excuse me. Memories. Bunk. Bye all.

Posted by: The Devoceleraptor at May 01, 2015 04:46 PM (o+SC1)

266 ""The more I ponder it, the more I realize that for a whole bunch of people on both sides of the political
spectrum I am, in fact, the Scariest Thing Evah. "

Shallow minded people are terrified by the smallest of things.

Although seriously, if someone were to ask me "Tell me the most notable thing about AtC", my immediate response would be "She does not suffer fools gladly".

I could see where some people would be scared by that.

Posted by: Village Idiot's Apprentice at May 01, 2015 04:46 PM (VPLuQ)

267 I can quote this cause I have a Smoking Hot Asian Wife (TM).

BILL: They look Japanese.
DALE: Nope. I think they're Chinese.
BILL: How can you tell?
DALE: Japanese guys usually have glasses and a suit and a tie, and stuff like that.
BOOMHAUER: Yeah, man, them Chinese, man, you can't understand a dang-ol' word they say, man, just try, dang ol' whole upside-down and whatnot.
HANK: So, are you Chinese or Japanese?
KAHN: I live in California last twenty years, but first come from Laos.
HANK: Huh?
KAHN: Laos. We Laotian.
BILL: The ocean? What ocean?
KAHN: We are Laotian. From Laos, stupid! It's a landlocked country in Southeast Asia. It's between Vietnam and Thailand, okay? Population 4.7 million.
HANK: So, are you Chinese or Japanese?

Posted by: @PeeteySDee at May 01, 2015 04:47 PM (+eO7o)

268
True story:

I was working with one of our reps recently who had a courier show up with his delivery of medical equipment for one of his hospitals. The rep starts speaking to the guy in broken Spanish. I look at the courier and ask where he's from. Guy says "I'm from Lebanon, but I speak Spanish."

Posted by: Wodeshed at May 01, 2015 04:47 PM (OeJe4)

269 I was born and raised here and it makes me want to take an ice pick to my ears. Somehow I managed to grow up without a discernible accent. No one at school believed I was from MA.
Posted by: RedMindBlueState at May 01, 2015 04:43 PM

Ditto. And the Army eliminated any remaining trace of my MA accent.

Unless you gimme tree beahs from da packy.

Posted by: Sean Bannion at May 01, 2015 04:47 PM (8o4xV)

270
>>Ever listen to the comic Henry Cho. He has a very southern accent. He has great comedic takes on this subject.

Aziz ansari had this bit in parks and rec I think where he was like 'i'm from south carolina. These colors don't run'. Heh.

Posted by: Lea at May 01, 2015 04:47 PM (lIU4e)

271 The popular Japanese and Chinese stereotype of Caucasian Americans (the default type) is that we are Nordic cowboys with no inside voice, have no personal space, and will shoot you with a big-ass six-gun if you complain about it. Black American men are gangsta rappers who are also star basketball players, have no idea of personal space, and will shoot you with an automatic pistol if you complain about it. (Black women? Never heard of 'em over there!) Asian Americans are ASIAN Americans, and expected to be down with the old country, even if they are as American as apple pie.

Posted by: exdem13 at May 01, 2015 04:48 PM (/mTq0)

272 I can't imagine how the Boston accent goes down in the South. It makes my ears bleed.
Posted by: Jay Guevara at May 01, 2015 04:41 PM (oKE6c)

----

Ooooh..... y'all'll do jest fine.... bless yer hearts.

Posted by: fixerupper at May 01, 2015 04:48 PM (8XRCm)

273 sock off.

Posted by: ConservativeMonster at May 01, 2015 04:48 PM (0NdlF)

274 And the Japanese look down on Koreans....

And the Chinese hate the Japanese.

Because White Privilege.

Posted by: Pappy O'Daniel at May 01, 2015 04:48 PM (oVJmc)

275 Posted by: Jay Guevara at May 01, 2015 04:40 PM (oKE6c)

Yeah. Although their complaints about "white" culture were not totally off base. We don't seem to be as disciplined or whatever to them.

But I mean... so what?

Posted by: mynewhandle at May 01, 2015 04:48 PM (AkOaV)

276 I know African Americans stationed in Japan used to get touched a lot by the Japanese. They just wanted to see what they felt like because they were different.

I don't know if it still happens I heard about it years ago.

Also, I like Asian chicks with big hooters. Is that a microagression? I argue no.

Posted by: blaster at May 01, 2015 04:48 PM (kGsA2)

277 As I understand it, the Japanese look down on the Koreans, the Koreans look down on the Chinese and the Chinese look down on everyone.

And all of them think they're better than white people. (but only behind their back)

Posted by: Bitter Clinger and All That at May 01, 2015 04:48 PM (zRby/)

278 Russel Peters on Chinese Language:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jL8hV-zjJ_4

Posted by: ConservativeMonster at May 01, 2015 04:48 PM (0NdlF)

279 Shallow minded people are terrified by the smallest of things.
Posted by: Village Idiot's Apprentice at May 01, 2015 04:46 PM

That's our Empress!

Posted by: RedMindBlueState at May 01, 2015 04:49 PM (h4vJk)

280 It's not a cah! It is in fact a car.

Posted by: Suppressed Flasher

It is, in fact, Satan's sleigh ride to hell.

Posted by: Greenies at May 01, 2015 04:49 PM (LAe3v)

281
Nom nom nom:

[pic] http://tinyurl.com/l62pm3v

Posted by: Laurie David's Cervix at May 01, 2015 04:49 PM (kdS6q)

282 @260 - Everyone hates everyone unless they're in business together.

The Korean attitude toward the Chinese is basically 19th-century Massachusetts-South Carolina.

The Chinese invaded everybody for a thousand years, once China was screwed up the Japanese invaded everybody for the next two hundred.

Posted by: The Devoceleraptor at May 01, 2015 04:49 PM (o+SC1)

283 Although seriously, if someone were to ask me "Tell me the most notable thing about AtC", my immediate response would be "She does not suffer fools gladly".
Posted by: Village Idiot's Apprentice at May 01, 2015 04:46 PM (VPLuQ)

For me it's....the bewbs. The glorious bewbs.

::: shifty eyes ::::

Did I say that out loud?

Posted by: Sean Bannion at May 01, 2015 04:49 PM (8o4xV)

284
>>My wife and I are both on the tall side for our gender, and we felt like
Godzilla and Rodan in Japan. In out of the way villages (where
apparently few foreigners ever ventured) children used to follow us
around, astonished.<<

I'm not sure you got the joke.

Posted by: Wodeshed at May 01, 2015 04:49 PM (OeJe4)

285 You mean both teams in this case

Ie: Vic was there

heh

Posted by: Methos at May 01, 2015 04:49 PM (ZbV+0)

286 Posted by: Suppressed Flasher at May 01, 2015 04:46 PM (X+nFp)

Only people in Rhode Island and isolated areas of Mass speak like that.

Also an annoying accent, but easily understandable.

Same with the New England ME / NH / VT accent. Weird inflections, but totally understandable.

Posted by: mynewhandle at May 01, 2015 04:49 PM (AkOaV)

287 Posted by: The Devoceleraptor at May 01, 2015 04:46 PM (o+SC1)

In Honduras the kids say "chiname" when asking to be picked up and carried.

Chinese came and served as nannies for a long time in the early 1800s and it just stuck as a word.

Posted by: tsrblke, PhD(c) rogue bioethicst at May 01, 2015 04:49 PM (HDwDg)

288 @168, Vashta Nerada......."The fact that people would get their children out of bed becasue they never seen a white person amused me".

Yep. I work in Asia alot. There are places in China where they have never seen a white person. I got that all the time especially in Xinjiang and away from the cities in Henan, Hunan, Shandong and Gansu provinces etc.

They come up to you and ask where are you from? What are doing here? How do you like China? They want to take pictures of you with them and their kids.. Several restaurant owners took pix of me eating there and posted them on the wall later. My wife said it was advertising so they could say the food was so good even foreigners ate there.

Went back a few years later to some of those restaurants and the pix are still there on the wall. I guess it beats having my pix on the Post office wall. heh.

I thought it was kind of neat and did not get offended at all.

Posted by: The Walking Dude at May 01, 2015 04:50 PM (cCxiu)

289 >>> I can't imagine how the Boston accent goes down in the South. It makes my ears bleed.

I'm from upstate NY. When in Maryland this old lady was listening to me and I could see she was trying to figure it out. Eventually she asked if I were from Northern Ireland. Yeah, there are a few verbal tics...

Posted by: Bigby's Finger Pointing to the Future at May 01, 2015 04:50 PM (3ZtZW)

290 Most of the other drivers here are either Korean or Vietnamese
The way to tell the difference is the Vietnamese exhale before they talk
And the Koreans are just mean

Posted by: Navycopjoe at May 01, 2015 04:50 PM (3sozU)

291 >>>
268
True story:

I was working with one of our reps recently who had a courier show up with his delivery of medical equipment for one of his hospitals. The rep starts speaking to the guy in broken Spanish. I look at the courier and ask where he's from. Guy says "I'm from Lebanon, but I speak Spanish."
Posted by: Wodeshed at May 01, 2015 04:47 PM (OeJe4)

What a fun guy!

Posted by: m at May 01, 2015 04:50 PM (WIUGG)

292 "Also, I like Asian chicks with big hooters. Is that a microagression? "

No, more a matter of personal taste.

Posted by: Ricardo Kill at May 01, 2015 04:50 PM (LA7Cm)

293 Oh yes. Koreans look down on whites.

Koreans look down on everyone. From roofs!

Posted by: rickb223 at May 01, 2015 04:50 PM (BdP+C)

294 Swedes also have trouble with TH and often substitute an f sound. Or effy sounding v.

I can't roll my r's except for this sort of fake rrrrrr that takes a lot of conscious will to do. Frustrated my dreams of becoming a UN translator that's for sure. I heard Lenin couldn't roll his rs, it's a speech impediment of some kind. So unfair

Posted by: Sarahw at May 01, 2015 04:50 PM (lv2k0)

295 And all of them think they're better than white people. (but only behind their back)

-----

......gaijin

Posted by: fixerupper at May 01, 2015 04:50 PM (8XRCm)

296
>>It's only understandable if you're from Pine Bluff.
You're not from Pine Bluff, right?

Heck no! I do remember asking me pre monica if I thought Clinton really did any of that womanizing he was accused of, lol. Um, "Yes'. I don't think they believed me though.

Posted by: Lea at May 01, 2015 04:51 PM (lIU4e)

297 Apparently Chinese people hate Koreans. I learned this from a chinese friend who would randomly talk smack about koreans for no reason. Kind of took me by surprise the first few times...
Posted by: Lea at May 01, 2015 04:46 PM (lIU4e)

Heh. Everyone else is comfortable in their racism and prejudices except white people.

For example, I found out that Africans (and West Indians?) generally don't like African-Americans, and African-Americans are only too happy to return the compliment.

I don't involve myself in these petty prejudices. I just dislike everyone equally and can find something to complain about (to myself mostly, and also my Scandi BFF) in all people groups.

OK, seriously, I generally like people a lot, but the second part of that last sentence is true.

Posted by: chique d'afrique (the artist formerly known as african chick) at May 01, 2015 04:51 PM (shFKH)

298 Ever listen to the comic Henry Cho. He has a very southern accent. He has great comedic takes on this subject

Very funny comedian. I think he's toured with the Blue Collar guys.

Posted by: buzzion at May 01, 2015 04:51 PM (z/Ubi)

299 I can't see ever asking an Asian what part of Asia they are from, but its more that thats the last thing I care about on earth. And it would never be brought up by me. Same goes for any other nationality. But what I don't get is how people somehow know a person is Jewish on sight.

Posted by: People Corp at May 01, 2015 04:51 PM (TzeLs)

300 You know...

If you go back to where you came from,

EVERYONE will know 'where you are from'.

Just sayin.

Posted by: some random meathead at May 01, 2015 04:51 PM (NUCTk)

301 Posted by: Bitter Clinger and All That at May 01, 2015 04:48 PM (zRby/)

Pretty much.

Except pretty much all Asian cultures agree on one thing, and that's that they hate the Japanese.

WWII and all that. Very brutal. Rapes, murders, sick shit.

Posted by: mynewhandle at May 01, 2015 04:51 PM (AkOaV)

302 262
Yes, accents from the deep south can be very annoying for us yankees.
-------------
You have to take Tim Wilson's course in identifying Southern accents via Southern Rock. Then you will be able to become bilingual in style.

Posted by: exdem13 at May 01, 2015 04:51 PM (/mTq0)

303 Also, I like Asian chicks with big hooters. Is that a microagression?

----

With your dick??

....yes.

Posted by: fixerupper at May 01, 2015 04:51 PM (8XRCm)

304 "Also, I like Asian chicks with big hooters.

Asian chicks with owls?
Kinky.

Posted by: rickb223 at May 01, 2015 04:51 PM (BdP+C)

305 "2
I can tell Chinese and Japanese apart pretty easily (I think -- don't
test me), but I get a little confused by Koreans and Vietnamese, and I
have no real idea what Laotian might be.

--

It is like pornography; you know it when you see it. In fact, it is very much like pornography.

Posted by: Vashta Nerada at May 01, 2015 04:06 PM (/i3Yt)"

Excellent idea. I recommend going to your friendly local pornographer and purchasing imported pr0n from each of the countries of which you have trouble identifying the identifying characteristics. Of course, this could lead to embarrassment if the identifying features you have noticed require asking a young lady to doff her panties and show you her snatch so that you could determine her ethnicity. In today's social climate she might take your attempt to be culturally sensitive as a microaggression.

Posted by: Obnoxious A-Hole at May 01, 2015 04:52 PM (KDbAT)

306 Ditto. And the Army eliminated any remaining trace of my MA accent.

Unless you gimme tree beahs from da packy.
Posted by: Sean Bannion at May 01, 2015 04:47 PM

I had a companymate from around Worcester who had an accent you could cut with a knife. The upperclassmen used to razz her about it constantly. She got pissed when I started laughing about it. Her: "You're from MA, too!" Me: "Right. But they can't tell. LOL!"

Posted by: RedMindBlueState at May 01, 2015 04:52 PM (h4vJk)

307 This whole post has an anti-trigger slant to it.

Posted by: Insomniac at May 01, 2015 04:52 PM (2Ojst)

308 French people always pluralize hair.

They'll say -"I have to go comb my hairs."

They actually made a joke of it sorta on Orphan Black which if you are looking for something to binge watch it is pretty good.

Posted by: River Guide at May 01, 2015 04:52 PM (RJMhd)

309 230 I can't imagine how the Boston accent goes down in the South. It makes my ears bleed.
Posted by: Jay Guevara at May 01, 2015 04:41 PM (oKE6c)

Uh, Mister Gambini?

Actually, I had a science teacher in high school, Mr. Charles Lewis from Mo-beel Alabama, who had a hell of a time pronouncing Italian surnames.

Posted by: J.J. Sefton at May 01, 2015 04:52 PM (St6BJ)

310 The only problem with racism in America is that the Left has tried to monetize it.

Posted by: Pappy O'Daniel at May 01, 2015 04:52 PM (oVJmc)

311 when I am in Europe and people give me s*** about being American I tell them I am from quote British Honduras unquote and get in their face about judging me by appearance, insulting my ancestry, and etc they always s*** their pants trying to apologize.

when in Asia I just pick a state. They are genuinely interested but have absolutely no clue and what is a state or a country outside of their sphere of influence. For example in China they have a mandatory world geography class but its not graded so all the students ignore the entire class and use the time as a study hall.it's not graded because Chinese in particular don't think the rest of the world is especially important.

Posted by: OG CELTIC AMERICAN at May 01, 2015 04:53 PM (lIDy4)

312 This is how you out a German spy: http://youtu.be/ejuK8_12Fmg

SKREEIL

Posted by: Sarahw at May 01, 2015 04:53 PM (lv2k0)

313 This whole post has an anti-trigger slant to it.

----

*narrows eyes*

*more than normal*

I see what you did there....

Posted by: Confucious at May 01, 2015 04:53 PM (8XRCm)

314 276
Also, I like Asian chicks with big hooters. Is that a microagression? I argue no.
-----------
A lot of guys, Asian and not, would agree with you. Japanese girly magazines bear this out. Except of course for all the lolicon losers who obsess over washboard chests.

Posted by: exdem13 at May 01, 2015 04:54 PM (/mTq0)

315 Posted by: chique d'afrique (the artist formerly known as african chick) at May 01, 2015 04:51 PM (shFKH)

I worked as a valet driver with 2 Africans (one from Ethiopia, the other from Sierra Leone I think) and 4 American black guys. I was the only white guy there, and kept my mouth shut during all of this shit.

But the African guys were ... I mean, they were out of a movie on Southern slave holders. They said the most horrific shit to the black guys all of the time, had absolutely no respect for them.

It really set me aback. The only time in my life (to this day) I've heard the "n" word casually thrown around in an insulting manner toward black people.

Posted by: mynewhandle at May 01, 2015 04:54 PM (AkOaV)

316 311. The only place in Europe is catch shit for being an American was France
And they're French so who cared

Posted by: Navycopjoe at May 01, 2015 04:55 PM (3sozU)

317 Weird inflections, but totally understandable.

My first boyfriend was from SW Virginia, in the Appalachians*. When I'd go there, I could understand people, but for some reason people there could not understand me. Poor bastard would end up having to translate my lunch order, my request to buy stamps. Very strange.

* Fun story, my dad's ancestors were from the same county, before they all moved up to Ohio at the turn of the 20th century. He was always disappointed he couldn't prove we were related.

Posted by: HR braucht ein Bier at May 01, 2015 04:55 PM (/kI1Q)

318 If I was living in a foreign country and was obviously not a native, I wouldn't mind people asking me where I was from, and I wouldn't name the local town where I was living.

One time I was working at a company and planning a personal vacation to Africa. So I just happen to get a new manager - an African. And in our get-acquainted meeting I ask him where his family is from.

"I am a British citizen."

But I just want to know where he's from. I'm going to South Africa and a few other countries and I'm curious if he's from that area or not. Just simple curiosity.

Posted by: despair at May 01, 2015 04:55 PM (J6suc)

319 My wife said it was advertising so they could say the food was so good even foreigners ate there.

Our food is so good that people come from other planets to eat it!

Posted by: China Cafe at May 01, 2015 04:56 PM (W5DcG)

320 Yes, accents from the deep south can be very annoying for us yankees.

Trust me, the women in the Godfather type movies and Fran Drescher in The Nanny, have my skin crawling.

Posted by: rickb223 at May 01, 2015 04:56 PM (BdP+C)

321 289
>>> I can't imagine how the Boston accent goes down in the South. It makes my ears bleed.

I'm from upstate NY. When in Maryland this old lady was listening to
me and I could see she was trying to figure it out. Eventually she
asked if I were from Northern Ireland. Yeah, there are a few verbal
tics...
------------------
Heavy duty Scots-Irish immigration there back in the pre-1776 days.

Posted by: exdem13 at May 01, 2015 04:56 PM (/mTq0)

322

"... it's the Worst Thing Ever to try to find out if the person you're speaking to is of Korean or Chinese, or Korean or Japanese, extraction, because like You Should Just Know Or Something."

... but trying to find out if they're Gaysian ...

... Eau My ...

Posted by: Mr. Sulu at May 01, 2015 04:56 PM (FlRtG)

323 311 Posted by: OG CELTIC AMERICAN at May 01, 2015 04:53 PM (lIDy4)

Meh. Fuck Europe. My mother was right; we should have let the Russians take the whole damn continent to teach them a lesson.

Posted by: J.J. Sefton at May 01, 2015 04:57 PM (St6BJ)

324 afternoon all.

Just got home.

Actually was talking about Liberals with my Israeli Friends who are here while we were at the Holocaust Museum. About Liberal censorship and the like. Very interesting conversation.

Oh and fuck all liberals and the PC crap. They can shove it up their asses along with the murder charges against the Baltimore Cops

Posted by: Nevergiveup at May 01, 2015 04:57 PM (/tNwW)

325 Posted by: mynewhandle at May 01, 2015 04:54 PM (AkOaV)

Interesting.

Well, when I was visiting my friend last year, a Ghanaian guy was talking about how an American guy said the most horrific and racist things to him. I was shocked until he said it was an African American guy, LOL.

Africans are soooo different from African Americans. The only similarities - skin color (up to an extent), African/colored people's time, we both love to dance and dress up.

Posted by: chique d'afrique (the artist formerly known as african chick) at May 01, 2015 04:57 PM (shFKH)

326 318. Ughhhh
In Italy when I would tell someone I was from Chicago it was either Michael Jordon or they'd act like they were shooting a tommy gun

Posted by: Navycopjoe at May 01, 2015 04:57 PM (3sozU)

327 @277 Bitter Clinger.."The Chinese look down on everyone".

Yep, that's kinda true. The symbol or word in Chinese for China is a trapezoid with a line thru the center. It's pronounced 'Zhong".

In the old days when they were developing the written language and just carving the symbols in stone it was meant to be a circle (but that's harder to carve so they settled for a trapezoid).

Basically it was meant to be a circle with a line through the center because China has always considered itself to be the center of the world, kinda like everyone else.

Posted by: The Walking Dude at May 01, 2015 04:57 PM (cCxiu)

328 French people always pluralize hair.

They'll say -"I have to go comb my hairs."

Nose? Ear? Armpit?

Posted by: rickb223 at May 01, 2015 04:58 PM (BdP+C)

329 "So, it never works, and Anglos should probably just never say a word about an acquaintance's race, unless that acquaintance brings it up."

This Anglo is happy to do it one better and never fcuking bother to talk to anyone outside of his house again.

Works for me. This sh!t is getting so goddamned stupid that, from a logistical communicative standpoint, I don't know how any of us are supposed to get through our days.

Posted by: Hawkins1701 at May 01, 2015 04:58 PM (WtH8C)

330
" "

...

SJW: I am offended!

Posted by: some random meathead at May 01, 2015 04:58 PM (NUCTk)

331 The valley girl or southern accent in the Midwest makes you ask this question, and girls still get pissed. They ask each other what ARE you?

Posted by: Leo at May 01, 2015 04:58 PM (o05UX)

332 Just as long as I can still gawk at LBFM's, I'm good.

Posted by: bkeyser at May 01, 2015 04:58 PM (dG7DS)

333 320. Yes, accents from the deep south can be very annoying for us yankees

T's southern twang is smoking hot!
Or I'm looking at her boobs

....one of those

Posted by: Navycopjoe at May 01, 2015 04:59 PM (3sozU)

334 >>Talked with the guy on the phone for over a year before I met him in person.

Had no idea he was Indian until I met him.

Had a friend when I worked in customer service call center who is a naturalized citizen from Thailand - and she has a heavy Boston accent. She always got a kick out of how people from other offices reacted upon meeting her in person. She would say stuff like "Bet ya didn't know I was a rice-picker, huh?!!"

Posted by: Lizzy at May 01, 2015 04:59 PM (2TN4k)

335 we both love to dance and dress up.
Posted by: chique d'afrique (the artist formerly known as african chick) at May 01, 2015 04:57 PM (shFKH)

So then I'll put you down as a "yes" for NoVAMoMee.

Posted by: Sean Bannion at May 01, 2015 04:59 PM (8o4xV)

336 "299
I can't see ever asking an Asian what part of Asia they are from, but
its more that thats the last thing I care about on earth. And it would
never be brought up by me. Same goes for any other nationality. But what
I don't get is how people somehow know a person is Jewish on sight.

Posted by: People Corp at May 01, 2015 04:51 PM (TzeLs)"

I used to get that all the time. My grandparents came from County Galway on the west coast of Ireland where the "Black Irish" are from. When I was a skinny kid with a head of curly brown hair and a tendency to tan rather than burn, that was apparently enough to look Jewish. That had interesting consequences both good and bad.

Posted by: Obnoxious A-Hole at May 01, 2015 05:00 PM (KDbAT)

337 I like some southern accents. NY and New England accents entertain me.

Posted by: chique d'afrique (the artist formerly known as african chick) at May 01, 2015 05:00 PM (shFKH)

338 "Just as long as I can still gawk at LBFM's, I'm good."

I was taught that by my Filipino MM2, when I checked onto my first ship as an E-2

Posted by: Village Idiot's Apprentice at May 01, 2015 05:00 PM (VPLuQ)

339 So then I'll put you down as a "yes" for NoVAMoMee.
Posted by: Sean Bannion at May 01, 2015 04:59 PM (8o4xV)

Heh. Maybe. I have to think of what to do with my nephew child.

Posted by: chique d'afrique (the artist formerly known as african chick) at May 01, 2015 05:01 PM (shFKH)

340
When my mother was a child in Hungary back in the 30's, an American circus came to town with black people. You paid them a penny and they'd let you scratch his skin to prove that it wasn't paint.

Oh those wacky Magyars.

Posted by: J.J. Sefton at May 01, 2015 05:01 PM (St6BJ)

341 Posted by: chique d'afrique (the artist formerly known as african chick) at May 01, 2015 04:57 PM (shFKH)

Well, I will say this... the two African guys I worked with were some of the hardest workers I've ever met.

Both hustled their ass off (for tips), worked multiple jobs...

Posted by: mynewhandle at May 01, 2015 05:01 PM (AkOaV)

342 I was the only American at
the table, but I'm the kind who speaks languages and is interested in
cultures so they assumed I was one of them. And one of them said "how
'bout those Americans and their guns" or similar. And jokingly asked me
if I had guns.

Posted by: Bandersnatch at May 01, 2015 04:46 PM (JtwS4)
On several occasions I was introduced as "an American, but one of the good ones."

Yeah, I was under cover. Deep cover.

Posted by: Jay Guevara at May 01, 2015 05:01 PM (oKE6c)

343 @318 - I like his answer.

It's what he says because he can't bring himself to say "My parents were born in dung-floored huts in BFE, and I went to college, and thank God for the Empire."

Posted by: The Devoceleraptor at May 01, 2015 05:01 PM (o+SC1)

344 NY and New England accents entertain me.

Posted by: chique d'afrique (the artist formerly known as african chick) at May 01, 2015 05:00 PM

Entertain you? Entertain you how? Like we're clowns, we make you laugh?

Posted by: Joe Pesci at May 01, 2015 05:02 PM (h4vJk)

345 "Had a friend when I worked in customer service call
center who is a naturalized citizen from Thailand - and she has a heavy
Boston accent. She always got a kick out of how people from other
offices reacted upon meeting her in person. She would say stuff like
"Bet ya didn't know I was a rice-picker, huh?!!"

Posted by: Lizzy at May 01, 2015 04:59 PM (2TN4k)"

I know she did not say that because people from Boston are incapable of pronouncing the letter "R".

Posted by: Obnoxious A-Hole at May 01, 2015 05:02 PM (KDbAT)

346 Night all

[would sound like: Nigh dollllll ]

Posted by: Bigby's Finger Pointing to the Future at May 01, 2015 05:03 PM (3ZtZW)

347
instead of it just being you getting annoyed, because you're sensitive.

You misspelled "whiney bitch".

Posted by: IllTemperedCur at May 01, 2015 05:03 PM (Txrlv)

348 A true southern accent spoken by a Lady is beautiful to listen to.

Honey Boo-Boo?

Not so much.

Posted by: Village Idiot's Apprentice at May 01, 2015 05:03 PM (VPLuQ)

349 Entertain you? Entertain you how? Like we're clowns, we make you laugh?
Posted by: Joe Pesci at May 01, 2015 05:02 PM (h4vJk)

Yes.

Posted by: chique d'afrique (the artist formerly known as african chick) at May 01, 2015 05:03 PM (shFKH)

350 Better the Deep South than Yankee ladies. Owowowowowow. The former talk too fast and honk like they are trying to kill people.

Posted by: Sarahw at May 01, 2015 05:03 PM (lv2k0)

351 >>> So does this mean I can claim microaggression when people ask about my ancestors country of origin of problems in pronouncing my last name? I mean it's German and it sometimes give people pause is how to say it. So woohoo I'm a victim!

A lot of Ashkenazi Jews have surnames with Germanic roots. I studied German in High School because of my Swiss roots, so when I see their last names my brain instantly thinks it should be spoken the proper Germanic way, but I know it has most likely been anglicized.

Am I the victim in the awkward pronunciation microaggression game? Or is it the Jewish person? We're both technically white. Soooo many SJW rules to remember!

Posted by: LizLem at May 01, 2015 05:03 PM (yRwC8)

352
Being a mutt is great. I get to sponge off so many cultures I've never actually been a part of - Irish, Italian, English, German, Peedee Indian. I can slug down whiskey, chase it with a doppelbock, eat a slice of pizza, and then shoot a bow and arrow while wearing a bowler hat. DAMMIT, IT'S MY CULTURE!!!

Posted by: radar at May 01, 2015 05:03 PM (kQfqk)

353 Oh shoot I wrote that backwards

Posted by: Sarahw at May 01, 2015 05:04 PM (lv2k0)

354 I worked with a gal with a really really cute Southern accent. It was a long-distance telephone work relationship. I imagined this cute little blond southern belle.

What a surprise when I finally met her. Her parents or grandparents were immigrants from China.

Posted by: Grampa Jimbo at May 01, 2015 05:04 PM (V70Uh)

355 345 I know she did not say that because people from Boston are incapable of pronouncing the letter "R".
Posted by: Obnoxious A-Hole at May 01, 2015 05:02 PM (KDbAT)

Actually, they stick the "r" on the end of words that end in vowels. And drop the "r" from words that end in it.

"We must blockade the island of Cuber."

Posted by: J.J. Sefton at May 01, 2015 05:04 PM (St6BJ)

356 It's the Yankee ladies that cause the ear bleeds

Posted by: Sarahw at May 01, 2015 05:04 PM (lv2k0)

357 348. Depends
When T is pissed it makes it horrific

Posted by: Navycopjoe at May 01, 2015 05:04 PM (3sozU)

358 A true southern accent spoken by a Lady is beautiful to listen to.

Posted by: Village Idiot's Apprentice at May 01, 2015 05:03 PM (VPLuQ)

I agree 100%. I remember when I was in the south part of VA on a roadtrip and the receptionist at the hotel had an accent right out of Designing Women. *swoon, in a totally heterosexual way*

Posted by: chique d'afrique (the artist formerly known as african chick) at May 01, 2015 05:05 PM (shFKH)

359 354 Posted by: Grampa Jimbo at May 01, 2015 05:04 PM (V70Uh)

I always get a kick out of Southern or foreign Jews. Weird accents and such.

Posted by: J.J. Sefton at May 01, 2015 05:05 PM (St6BJ)

360 A true southern accent spoken by a Lady is beautiful to listen to.

Honey Boo-Boo?

Not so much.
Posted by: Village Idiot's Apprentice at May 01, 2015 05:03 PM

Exactly. Worlds of difference between a soft, educated drawl and a Honey Boo Boo twang.

Posted by: RedMindBlueState at May 01, 2015 05:05 PM (h4vJk)

361 344
NY and New England accents entertain me.

Posted by: chique d'afrique (the artist formerly known as african chick) at May 01, 2015 05:00 PM

Entertain you? Entertain you how? Like we're clowns, we make you laugh?

Posted by: Joe Pesci at May 01, 2015 05:02 PM (h4vJk)
Wow, talk about a hanging curve ball. Excellent.

Posted by: pep at May 01, 2015 05:05 PM (LAe3v)

362 Although I've never liked the way some Tenneseans. Say pin for pen and kin for can, and make du of central Virginians for the way they order cokes. I DID not order any kook bring me some sweet tea then.

Posted by: Sarahw at May 01, 2015 05:06 PM (lv2k0)

363 So Brandeis can get over being anti Israeli and focus on something else?

Posted by: FenelonSpoke at May 01, 2015 05:06 PM (DXzRD)

364 Posted by: Joe Pesci at May 01, 2015 05:02 PM (h4vJk)
Wow, talk about a hanging curve ball. Excellent.

Posted by: pep at May 01, 2015 05:05 PM

Couldn't resist that one. Good answer, too.

Posted by: RedMindBlueState at May 01, 2015 05:07 PM (h4vJk)

365 So wearing an I want a Japanese Girlfriend, Tshirt to the Cherry Blossom Festival a micro aggression if it is in Kanji?

Posted by: Jean at May 01, 2015 05:07 PM (ztOda)

366 Had a Chinese buddy--said in high school his buddies would flip him off, then apologize, since he couldn't see the vertical finger. They would then rotate the hand so the middle finger was horizontal.

He--and I--found it a pretty funny joke.

Posted by: Turd Ferguson at May 01, 2015 05:07 PM (VAsIq)

367 So the moral of the story is:

If you see any differences, pretend not to notice.

Unless they are offended.

And then you should notice , but only in a good way. Quietly with no sudden movements.

Ok.

Anybody notice that the SJW psychology is exactly the same as chicks with Borderline Personality Disorder ?

Posted by: some random meathead at May 01, 2015 05:07 PM (NUCTk)

368 362. That's the Memphis area ones
Cause that's how T talks

Posted by: Navycopjoe at May 01, 2015 05:07 PM (3sozU)

369 363 So Brandeis can get over being anti Israeli and focus on something else?
Posted by: FenelonSpoke at May 01, 2015 05:06 PM (DXzRD)

They'll ban wearing a Star of David as jewelry, but force you to sew one on your jacket.

Posted by: J.J. Sefton at May 01, 2015 05:07 PM (St6BJ)

370 My coworkers when I lived in NYC used to make fun of me by leaving notes on my desk around lunch time that said 'wanna goweat' .

They also liked my polite inquiry ' how's ya mom and them'

Posted by: Cruzinator at May 01, 2015 05:08 PM (dBm7S)

371 This Gray family is making demands? Fuck them

Posted by: Nevergiveup at May 01, 2015 05:09 PM (/tNwW)

372 So when I hear a bit of an accent and ask "where ya from?" And they reply Australia, New Zealand, Ukraine, Germany, UK, South Africa etc - then I'm micro aggressive at white ppl?

Good to know!

Posted by: Jade Sea at May 01, 2015 05:09 PM (5BYiI)

373 >>Actually, they stick the "r" on the end of words that end in vowels. And drop the "r" from words that end in it.

Took French class with a gal from Rhode Island (like a Boston accent on steroids) and she couldn't even hear the "r's" she was adding to the words. Drove the professor crazy!

"Ou se trouve leR biblioth�que?"

Posted by: Lizzy at May 01, 2015 05:09 PM (2TN4k)

374 Posted by: J.J. Sefton at May 01, 2015 05:04 PM (St6BJ)

Others have argued with me about JFK's accent, but it certainly wasn't the typical "Boston accent."

Similar to the "Boston Brahmin" accent (think John Kerry, especially when he was younger), but definitely different.

Posted by: mynewhandle at May 01, 2015 05:09 PM (AkOaV)

375
One of the oddities of muttitude - our family name is Italian, but my sister got all her genes from mom's side of the family so she looks like a straight-outta-central-casting Irish girl, with very pale skin, freckles, and strwaberry blonde hair. When she went to Italy, she got double-takes all the time from hotel clerks who would ask her "Aren't you Irish?"

Also amusing is our cousin, who is Jewish yet looks totally Irishjust like my sister. She definitely stood out at her bat mitzvah.

Posted by: radar at May 01, 2015 05:10 PM (kQfqk)

376 Posted by: Lizzy at May 01, 2015 05:09 PM (2TN4k)

Yeah, Rhode Island is where you'll find the most people with the "boston accent."

In Boston itself and surrounding areas, it's pretty rare.

Posted by: mynewhandle at May 01, 2015 05:10 PM (AkOaV)

377 >>>Ace, have you listened to the Coffee Break French podcasts? I think they're really good. I paid for some other thing, but I think Coffee Break French is superior and I'll probably buy some of the advanced lessons soon.

yeah it's how I started. I like them. Lately I'm listening to Coffee Break German and Coffee Break Italian, trying to figure out which language to start up on next.

Posted by: ace at May 01, 2015 05:10 PM (PA7DS)

378 I did nothing but tell my Israeli Friends what a bunch of scumbags many Jewish Americans are all week. And also that you know who is a scumbag, but we also saw that SOBs Helo and Car twice...wanted to puke

Posted by: Nevergiveup at May 01, 2015 05:10 PM (/tNwW)

379 Winner winner chicken dinner.

"Anybody notice that the SJW psychology is exactly the same as chicks with Borderline Personality Disorder ?
Posted by: some random meathead at May 01, 2015 05:07 PM (NUCTk)"

Posted by: Sarahw at May 01, 2015 05:10 PM (lv2k0)

380
At Brandeis, Where an Indifferent, Mediocre Semi-Education Will Set You Back $60,000 Per Year,

Whoa! Whoa! Whoa!

That there statement is chock full of macro-microaggression, ace...

Posted by: Krebs v Carnot: Epic Battle of the Cycling Stars (TM) at May 01, 2015 05:10 PM (95CzI)

381 It's really a shame that a university sponsored by Jews could become so anti semetic.

Posted by: FenelonSpoke at May 01, 2015 05:11 PM (DXzRD)

382 We texans drop the g off most verbs. Watch, I'm fixin to do it.

Posted by: Dave at Buffalo Roam at May 01, 2015 05:11 PM (U8sWC)

383 >>Others have argued with me about JFK's accent, but it certainly wasn't the typical "Boston accent."

Ugh, yes, not the typical accent.

Posted by: Lizzy at May 01, 2015 05:11 PM (2TN4k)

384 370 My coworkers when I lived in NYC used to make fun of me by leaving notes on my desk around lunch time that said 'wanna goweat' .

They also liked my polite inquiry ' how's ya mom and them'
Posted by: Cruzinator at May 01, 2015 05:08 PM (dBm7S)

And when you got your lunch, did you make it gone?

Posted by: m at May 01, 2015 05:11 PM (WIUGG)

385 The southern accent actual lay is a derivative of the high society English accent.

Posted by: Cruzinator at May 01, 2015 05:11 PM (dBm7S)

386 By the way driving back from Washington DC today I passed Ace's Horse Farm and Riding Stable. Hey who knew?

Posted by: Nevergiveup at May 01, 2015 05:11 PM (/tNwW)

387 Others have argued with me about JFK's accent, but it certainly wasn't the typical "Boston accent."

Similar to the "Boston Brahmin" accent (think John Kerry, especially when he was younger), but definitely different.

Posted by: mynewhandle at May 01, 2015 05:09 PM

I swear they're doing that just to annoy us. I know no normal Bostonian who talks like that.

Posted by: RedMindBlueState at May 01, 2015 05:11 PM (h4vJk)

388 We texans drop the g off most verbs.
Watch, I'm fixin to do it.

Ain't nothin wrong with that.

Posted by: rickb223 at May 01, 2015 05:13 PM (BdP+C)

389
The old-time Virginia accent of the upper crust sounds almost British. You don't hear it much these days - even Virginians who still have southern accents have much more conventional ones, similar to those in the Carolinas and Tennessee. My parents recently got a new neighbor, an older lady, and she has it. Sounds just like my grandmother did, which was wonderfully comforting.

Posted by: radar at May 01, 2015 05:13 PM (kQfqk)

390 So if you take notice of their race/ethnicity, you're a racist. If you ignore their race/ethnicity, you're also a racist. Maybe they should be somewhere else.

Posted by: despair at May 01, 2015 05:13 PM (J6suc)

391 By the way driving back from Washington DC today I passed Ace's Horse Farm and Riding Stable. Hey who knew?

Mendoza.

Posted by: rickb223 at May 01, 2015 05:13 PM (BdP+C)

392 370 My coworkers when I lived in NYC used to make fun of me by leaving notes on my desk around lunch time that said 'wanna goweat' .

They also liked my polite inquiry ' how's ya mom and them'

Posted by: Cruzinator at May 01, 2015 05:08 PM (dBm7S)

A Welsh friend and colleague living in Boston used to ask people how to pronounce "YIPWOT."

He'd tell them, "YIPWOT. You know, I'm catching a plane at Logan YIPWOT."

Posted by: Jay Guevara at May 01, 2015 05:14 PM (oKE6c)

393 Posted by: ace at May 01, 2015 05:10 PM (PA7DS)

Took 6 years of German in school.

Easy enough language until you get to the tenses, then it gets really confusing.

But basic vocabulary and sentence structure is easy for English speakers to pick up. English is, after all, a Germanic language.

Posted by: mynewhandle at May 01, 2015 05:15 PM (AkOaV)

394
Asians who get furious over the 'microaggression' of asking their ancestry deserve to be told "So I'm guessing you're filipino, right?" immediately. They'll love that.

My sister, too much filthy scandi (like me), was told by an elderly coworker years and years ago that she "walked like a filipino".

She asked me what that meant (the guy was my boss).

I said, "How the fcuk would I know? He probably was drunk... again."

Posted by: Krebs v Carnot: Epic Battle of the Cycling Stars (TM) at May 01, 2015 05:15 PM (95CzI)

395 I have no real idea what Laotian might be.

It rubs the laotian on its skin.

Posted by: Dang at May 01, 2015 05:15 PM (FRkJH)

396 Southern Gentleman: "Suh I accept your challenge. Meet me at dawn. You may choose yoah weapon."

"D'oh, why did I have to slap someone who says "suh?"

Posted by: Homer Simpson at May 01, 2015 05:15 PM (RwwCT)

397 Those who have been microaggressed have been microaggressed.

Posted by: Ralph the Wonder Llama at May 01, 2015 05:16 PM (1CroS)

398 A guy I used to work with once lived in a town in Central California which had a large population of displaced Okies, who were then followed by a quite a number of Portuguese immigrants.

He said it was a kick to be around Portuguese guys wearing cowboy hats and speaking English with a Southern drawl and an Okie twang.

Posted by: Furious George at May 01, 2015 05:17 PM (UlJ3l)

399 Posted by: RedMindBlueState at May 01, 2015 05:11 PM (h4vJk)

Me neither. I don't know anyone who speaks with the Brahmin accent.

However, I do know people who went to elite boarding schools in CT and MA who have a sort of JFK-esque accent, but it's clearly a learned accent.

Posted by: mynewhandle at May 01, 2015 05:17 PM (AkOaV)

400 Posted by: Jay Guevara at May 01, 2015 05:14 PM (oKE6c)

Heh

Posted by: Cruzinator at May 01, 2015 05:17 PM (dBm7S)

401 So, is being a ginger Scandi macro-aggressive

Posted by: GT 5.0 at May 01, 2015 05:17 PM (M5GVk)

402 But basic vocabulary and sentence structure is easy for English speakers to pick up.

Don't eat the Giftpilz.

Eh. I find myself agreeing with Mark Twain.
http://german.about.com/library/blmtwain01.htm

Posted by: HR braucht ein Bier at May 01, 2015 05:17 PM (/kI1Q)

403 OF COURSE the attorney for the Gray family has a pony tail.

OF COURSE.

Posted by: Sean Bannion at May 01, 2015 05:17 PM (8o4xV)

404 >>The old-time Virginia accent of the upper crust sounds almost British.

I've heard a N VT/N NY accent that is similar to an Irish brogue. Wouldn't have believed it but one of them was the sister of a college roommate from Plattsburgh, NY.

Posted by: Lizzy at May 01, 2015 05:18 PM (2TN4k)

405 389
The old-time Virginia accent of the upper crust sounds almost British. You don't hear it much these days - even Virginians who still have southern accents have much more conventional ones, similar to those in the Carolinas and Tennessee. My parents recently got a new neighbor, an older lady, and she has it. Sounds just like my grandmother did, which was wonderfully comforting.
Posted by: radar at May 01, 2015 05:13 PM (kQfqk)

Hubs and I have been accused of being from Great Britain by Virginians in the hotel and hospitality industry not a hundred miles away. I'm not sure why but I think i might talk funny. With a lot of round vowels. Not an old Richmond accent, but midadlantic sumpthin sumpthin.

Posted by: Sarahw at May 01, 2015 05:18 PM (lv2k0)

406 The French teacher at my high school was a Viet woman. Her accent was definitely fun.

Posted by: Lauren at May 01, 2015 05:18 PM (MYCIw)

407 I've only heard the "where are you from?" question spoken once.

It was during college and the Lefties were going to throw a temper tantrum protest. My friend, who is half-filipino and half-sicilian, tipped off the cops.

He and I ended up doing a peaceful counter protest by holding up an anti-Affirmative Action sign in front of the police barrier. The leftists spit at us and asked my friend "where are you from?" They got really pissed when he kept on saying he was from the San Fernando Valley.

The police, btw, said that if we were physically attacked by the protesters, we could jump behind the barriers.

Posted by: The Political Hat at May 01, 2015 05:19 PM (0Ew3K)

408 mynewhandle: "But basic vocabulary and sentence structure is easy for English speakers to pick up. English is, after all, a Germanic language."

You do, of course, understand that you're almost speaking NAZI there, right?

Posted by: The Even More Microaggressed at May 01, 2015 05:19 PM (1CroS)

409 What the heck does Obama know about anime or karate? I will kick his butt. BELIEVE IT!

Posted by: N. Uzumaki at May 01, 2015 05:19 PM (TOk1P)

410 I know she did not say that because people from Boston are incapable of pronouncing the letter "R".

Wrong.
Nomah Gahseeahpahra!
See. We pronounce the last "R"...

Posted by: The Asians at May 01, 2015 05:19 PM (YFFpo)

411 The Attorney for the grey family donated money and supported the DA who brought charges. Nice set up if you ask me

Posted by: Nevergiveup at May 01, 2015 05:19 PM (/tNwW)

412 We discovered on an ONT a few nights back that "warsh" is apparently a scots-irish holdover.

Posted by: Lauren at May 01, 2015 05:20 PM (MYCIw)

413 Do you all know Fredo travels around Washington with 2 ambulances?

Posted by: Nevergiveup at May 01, 2015 05:20 PM (/tNwW)

414 >>>Took 6 years of German in school.

Easy enough language until you get to the tenses, then it gets really confusing.

But basic vocabulary and sentence structure is easy for English speakers to pick up. English is, after all, a Germanic language.

...

we'll see!

Posted by: ace at May 01, 2015 05:20 PM (PA7DS)

415 "Also, I like Asian chicks with big hooters. Is that a microagression? I argue no.

Posted by: blaster at May 01, 2015 04:48 PM (kGsA2)"

Since all heterosexual attraction is oppression, of course it is microaggression at the least if not some new and interesting variety of rape.

Posted by: Obnoxious A-Hole at May 01, 2015 05:21 PM (KDbAT)

416 Posted by: HR braucht ein Bier at May 01, 2015 05:17 PM (/kI1Q)

Ha! Yep, just read that.

That about sums it up.

Posted by: mynewhandle at May 01, 2015 05:21 PM (AkOaV)

417 Except pretty much all Asian cultures agree on one thing, and that's that they hate the Japanese.
WWII and all that. Very brutal. Rapes, murders, sick shit. Posted by: mynewhandle at May 01, 2015 04:51 PM (AkOaV)

Understandable. Though IMO China's cultural revolution and gobbling up its fellow neighbors made it lose whatever high ground it had after the war.

Posted by: LizLem at May 01, 2015 05:21 PM (yRwC8)

418 401 So, is being a ginger Scandi macro-aggressive
Posted by: GT 5.0 at May 01, 2015 05:17 PM (M5GVk)

Probably. scandis are really tall.

Posted by: Sarahw at May 01, 2015 05:21 PM (lv2k0)

419 Why should I get offended when someone asks where I'm from? It's someone showing an interest in me. I thought people sometimes did that. And I would appreciate that. Maybe reciprocate and have a conversation. Ya know?

Posted by: Dang at May 01, 2015 05:21 PM (FRkJH)

420 The old-time Virginia accent of the upper crust sounds almost British.

A number of English accents are noticeably similar to Southern accents, the difference being subtle variances in intonation and cadence, and the absence of the retroflexed "r". (As in the standard American pronounciation of "Starrrrr Warrrrs," which is distinctively American, I've been told by linguists.)

I suspect that that soft "r" is also the source of the ugly "cah" for "car" in the Boston accent; it's just an exaggeration of the soft "r" of the British Isles and Ireland.

Interestingly, the BBC English accent is apparently a recent phenomenon, deriving from the Home Counties accent in the late Victorian period, i.e., long after the American Revolution, which is why we don't have it. Upshot: Shakespeare is thought to have spoken much more like modern Americans than modern Brits.

Posted by: Jay Guevara at May 01, 2015 05:22 PM (oKE6c)

421 Geraldo fits right in with the scumbags in Baltimore

Posted by: Nevergiveup at May 01, 2015 05:22 PM (/tNwW)

422 People from New Orleans have a similar accent at times to people in Brooklyn .

Posted by: Cruzinator at May 01, 2015 05:22 PM (dBm7S)

423 By the way driving back from Washington DC today I passed Ace's Horse Farm and Riding Stable. Hey who knew?

Posted by: Nevergiveup at May 01, 2015 05:11 PM (/tNwW)

Whoa there! The riding stable I believe, but a horse farm??

Posted by: BurtTC at May 01, 2015 05:22 PM (TOk1P)

424 Do you all know Fredo travels around Washington with 2 ambulances?

Anal bleeding must be a big thing.

Posted by: rickb223 at May 01, 2015 05:23 PM (BdP+C)

425 But basic vocabulary and sentence structure is easy for English speakers to pick up. English is, after all, a Germanic language.

Sentence structure for Yoda especially easy is.

Posted by: Jay Guevara at May 01, 2015 05:23 PM (oKE6c)

426 When you work with someone long enough, you can tell where they're from by the toxic odors their lunchtime victuals emit.

Posted by: Fritz at May 01, 2015 05:23 PM (UzPAd)

427 I know she did not say that because people from Boston are incapable of pronouncing the letter "R".

---

Chowdah! Say it! Chowdah!

Posted by: Mayor Quimby's Nephew at May 01, 2015 05:23 PM (VAsIq)

428 Since we've been bustin' on accents,

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VSRVy91LPVE

Jack Chop!

Posted by: RedMindBlueState at May 01, 2015 05:23 PM (h4vJk)

429 Culture Lesson: The dude in the dress is the Tranny.

Posted by: commentorior at May 01, 2015 05:23 PM (ODxAs)

430 OF COURSE the attorney for the Gray family has a pony tail.

AKA, 'The Kuby.'

Posted by: Pappy O'Daniel at May 01, 2015 05:23 PM (oVJmc)

431 Regarding asking Asians where they're from, I spent a long time in the western Pacific. It is usually very easy to tell where their from although most Americans think everyone is either Japanese or Chinese.

Posted by: Bill R. at May 01, 2015 05:24 PM (CXNZK)

432 People from New Orleans have a similar accent at times to people in Brooklyn .

Worked with a guy who was from NO. Sounded like Corleone.

Posted by: rickb223 at May 01, 2015 05:24 PM (BdP+C)

433 Chowdah! Say it! Chowdah!

Posted by: Mayor Quimby's Nephew at May 01, 2015 05:23 PM (VAsIq)

From Cuber! You know, where the cigars come from!

Posted by: Jay Guevara at May 01, 2015 05:24 PM (oKE6c)

434 I know she did not say that because people from Boston are incapable of pronouncing the letter "R".
-------

Bah!
'Worcester'. See? We pronounce the 'r'.

Posted by: Bostonian at May 01, 2015 05:25 PM (QyBQv)

435 So, ace, I don't mean to pry...but where are you from?

Posted by: Turd Ferguson at May 01, 2015 05:25 PM (VAsIq)

436 OF COURSE the attorney for the Gray family has a pony tail.

Ah, the Eighties ...

Posted by: Jay Guevara at May 01, 2015 05:25 PM (oKE6c)

437 And they're ALL 'ching chong, ching chong', who the hell can tell them apart?

Posted by: Rosie O'Donnell, With A Glass Of Night Train And A Kool 100 at May 01, 2015 05:25 PM (DLu2s)

438 435 So, ace, I don't mean to pry...but where are you from?
Posted by: Turd Ferguson at May 01, 2015 05:25 PM (VAsIq)

What, like all Endorians look alike?

Posted by: Bob's House of Flannel Shirts and Wallet Chains at May 01, 2015 05:25 PM (vgIRn)

439 So, ace, I don't mean to pry...but where are you from?

Posted by: Turd Ferguson at May 01, 2015 05:25 PM

Look! Look! He's being microaggressed!

Posted by: Dennis the Peasant at May 01, 2015 05:26 PM (h4vJk)

440
My grand parents were born in sweden, but to the sjw's I'm just white.
they seem incapable of seeing the cultural diff's between Swede's, Germans,Brist etc.

sjw's are ignorant, which is why they get thier heart rate up all the time about everything

Posted by: yo! at May 01, 2015 05:26 PM (q+zA9)

441 Tried for 20 minutes to come up with a form of address for someone that would not be a trigger. Best I could come up with was space-time occupant. Surely that is safe.

Posted by: Man from Wazzustan at May 01, 2015 05:26 PM (uPxUo)

442 I used to mimic the Boston accent by speaking while grasping the tip of my tongue. Bostonians used to get pissed, but non-Bostonians who were familiar with the accent laughed, because it actually does kind of sound like the Boston accent.

Posted by: Jay Guevara at May 01, 2015 05:27 PM (oKE6c)

443 Yankee Realtor: "Now, this is a house without a flaw.

Southern prospective buyer: "Really? Then what do y'all walk on around here?

Posted by: Muldoon, a solid man at May 01, 2015 05:27 PM (mvenn)

444 So, ace, I don't mean to pry...but where are you from?
Posted by: Turd Ferguson at May 01, 2015 05:25 PM (VAsIq)

What, like all Endorians look alike?

Posted by: Bob's House of Flannel Shirts and Wallet Chains

Well, you know, East Forest, West Forest, Brown fur, Gray fur, I just want to zero in on which tree Ace grew up on.

Posted by: Turd Ferguson at May 01, 2015 05:28 PM (VAsIq)

445 People from New Orleans have a similar accent at times to people in Brooklyn .

Worked with a guy who was from NO. Sounded like Corleone.

Posted by: rickb223

I was wondered why there were so many people from the Northeast in N.O. until I figured out that was the actual N.O. accent. I really hate the Hollywood effed up version. It's always wrong. Almost as bad as the "Southern Belle" accent Hollywood and advertisers have actresses use. NO ONE TALKS LIKE THAT - OR EVER HAS!

Posted by: Dang at May 01, 2015 05:28 PM (FRkJH)

446 Turd Ferguson: "So, ace, I don't mean to pry...but where are you from?"

Marco Rubio's dumpster? He has to be at least half-Dumpster.

Posted by: AnonymousDrivel at May 01, 2015 05:28 PM (1CroS)

447 By the way driving back from Washington DC today I passed Ace's Horse Farm and Riding Stable. Hey who knew?

Posted by: Nevergiveup
-------------------------

I recall a posted British stable sign:
"Exercise care when mounting young ladies."

Posted by: Bostonian at May 01, 2015 05:29 PM (QyBQv)

448 To avoid offending anyone, I just assume everyone darker than me is Mexican. Works like a charm.

Posted by: Old Hob at May 01, 2015 05:29 PM (Lp6I1)

449 Asians as in from Russia, or are we talking Pakistan?

The term is Oriental, as in from the Orient, where the Express is.

FYNQ.

Posted by: nip at May 01, 2015 05:29 PM (a6Odp)

450 I was wondered why there were so many people from the Northeast in N.O. until I figured out that was the actual N.O. accent.

NO was a big mafia town also.

Posted by: rickb223 at May 01, 2015 05:29 PM (BdP+C)

451 So, ace, I don't mean to pry...but where are you from?

****

What he really means is, er..."How long is the Millenium Falcon ride when you go to visit your grandparents?"

Posted by: Muldoon, a solid man at May 01, 2015 05:30 PM (mvenn)

452 sjw's are ignorant, which is why they get thier heart rate up all the time about everything

Posted by: yo!

Amen to that! Ignorance of facts will do that.

Posted by: Dang at May 01, 2015 05:30 PM (FRkJH)

453 Almost as bad as the "Southern Belle" accent Hollywood and ~~advertisers have actresses~~ Hillary use. NO ONE TALKS LIKE THAT - OR EVER HAS!
------------

Just saying...

Posted by: Mike Hammer, etc., etc. at May 01, 2015 05:30 PM (QyBQv)

454 When will more asian americans come out as having blepharoplasties and cheek bone reductions. I'm sure Diane Sawyer would love to interview you.

Posted by: Bruce Jenner at May 01, 2015 05:30 PM (xkSSa)

455 When I hear an interesting accent I will almost always try to guess where they are from. And I have no problem asking if I am correct.

It's called human interaction.

These special snowflakes ought to try it some day.

Posted by: CharlieBrown'sDildo at May 01, 2015 05:31 PM (k2fxD)

456 Being blessed with not only a pretty obvious Italian name, but the same one as a prominent local mobster, people have been known to ask if I'm any relation to the guy infamous for crushing people's heads in vices.

Depends on my mood. Either laugh it off and say 'No', or just deadpan them and ask, 'why do you want to know? Work for the Feds? Why do you want to know?'

I just console myself with automatically getting the best table in Italian restaurants.

Posted by: Sort-of-Mad Max at May 01, 2015 05:31 PM (DLu2s)

457 I love how kindergarten teaches you how to get along with others and college teaches you how not to.

Posted by: Caiwyn at May 01, 2015 05:31 PM (nU8lz)

458 > I do think there is a point to this "microaggression" stuff. Sometimes people will reference race, attempting, they think, to pay someone a compliment, or "put this whole cross-racial awkwardness behind us."

The problem (and I'm not talking specifically about the US or anywhere else, here) is that sometimes it's not misjudged but kindly meant, not really. *Sometimes* it's the sly little poke in the ribs that quite deliberately says "you know we let you stick around, little man/woman, but don't ever forget who's really in charge around here". But of course it's always deniable: just a joke, ho ho, can't you take a little joke? Of course, the irony is that the person who's always on the lookout for a real, accidental or imagined microaggression against themselves to go to DEFCON 1 over is playing the same game: in both cases, it's the power game of demonstrating that you can swing your elbows about merrily while others around you have to cower. Of course the answer is the robustness principle: be mindful not to to give offence, *and* be slow to take it. But that's the kind of message that will never appeal to assholes of any background.

Posted by: anonymous irishman at May 01, 2015 05:32 PM (DJgfL)

459 OT:

Hours after Wisconsin's elections results were certified, Supreme Court justices voted to replace Abrahamson.

http://bit.ly/1Is18mU

Posted by: The Political Hat at May 01, 2015 05:32 PM (0Ew3K)

460 Dang: "It's always wrong. Almost as bad as the 'Southern Belle' accent Hollywood and advertisers have actresses use. NO ONE TALKS LIKE THAT - OR EVER HAS!"

I ain't no ways tahred of rejectin' such offense.

Posted by: Hillary! at May 01, 2015 05:32 PM (1CroS)

461 Dang: "It's always wrong. Almost as bad as the 'Southern Belle' accent Hollywood and advertisers have actresses use. NO ONE TALKS LIKE THAT - OR EVER HAS!"

I ain't no ways tahred of rejectin' such offense.

Posted by: Hillary! at May 01, 2015 05:32 PM (1CroS)

462 So, ace, I don't mean to pry...but where are you from?

Um. He asked me to call him Mr. OfSpades.

Posted by: Dang at May 01, 2015 05:33 PM (FRkJH)

463 Everybody's a bit xenophobic I'd think. Nothing to beat yourself up over, since it seems to be a universal. Just get over it and move on.

Posted by: Sax Rohmer at May 01, 2015 05:33 PM (xkSSa)

464 BTW, what was the race of each of the six indicted cops?

Posted by: The Political Hat at May 01, 2015 05:34 PM (0Ew3K)

465 Just think . With the PC today we would never had had that wonderful AlkaSeltzer commercial.

Man thatsa spicy a meatball.

Posted by: Cruzinator at May 01, 2015 05:34 PM (dBm7S)

466 Let's face it, and indictment of police here is indictment of Baltimore a wrongheaded incompetent leftist shenanigans and worthlessness, and cops who had one job and failed it and lied about it. They killed a person, an American,through ignorance and callous indifference to his well being, after arresting him on a pretext (a law that need rescinding too).

Lawsuits have been plentiful in Baltimore because cops regularly inflict catastrophic paddywagon justice there. They have so far made no real revision in some dangerous practices. Maybe this one will get them to clean up their act.

Posted by: Sarahw at May 01, 2015 05:34 PM (lv2k0)

467 I love how kindergarten teaches you how to get along with others and college teaches you how not to.

"I love you!
You love me!
Even micro-aggressively!"

Posted by: Barney, The Big Green Dinosaur With The Hincky Sex Habits at May 01, 2015 05:34 PM (DLu2s)

468 Hours after Wisconsin's elections results were certified, Supreme Court justices voted to replace Abrahamson.

http://bit.ly/1Is18mU

Posted by: The Political Hat at May 01, 2015 05:32 PM (0Ew3K)

Adios, Chief Justice Beeyotch.

Posted by: Jay Guevara at May 01, 2015 05:34 PM (oKE6c)

469 I just want to zero in on which tree Ace grew up on.

Kinda rapey there, non?

Posted by: HR braucht ein Bier at May 01, 2015 05:34 PM (/kI1Q)

470 >>I was wondered why there were so many people from the Northeast in N.O.
until I figured out that was the actual N.O. accent. I really hate the
Hollywood effed up version. It's always wrong. Almost as bad as the
"Southern Belle" accent Hollywood and advertisers have actresses use. NO
ONE TALKS LIKE THAT - OR EVER HAS!

The ALWAYS get the Boston accent wrong - too exaggerated.
Only actors who do it right are the ones from there who can lapse into is as needed, like Mark Wahlberg and Matt Damon

Posted by: Lizzy at May 01, 2015 05:35 PM (2TN4k)

471 You know, looking at the Brandeis article, the 'microagressions' read like a bad script.

These people are fantasizing this shit.

Like all these 'enlightened' types, they imagine all this is rife around them.

Posted by: Pappy O'Daniel at May 01, 2015 05:35 PM (oVJmc)

472 464 BTW, what was the race of each of the six indicted cops?

Posted by: The Political Hat at May 01, 2015 05:34 PM (0Ew3K)

The MSM is maintaining strict radio silence, so ... connect the dots.

Posted by: Jay Guevara at May 01, 2015 05:35 PM (oKE6c)

473 "Anybody notice that the SJW psychology is exactly the same as chicks with Borderline Personality Disorder ?

Posted by: some random meathead at May 01, 2015 05:07 PM (NUCTk)"

I have a brother in Portland, Oregon who tells me that people are always trying to do him the favor of granting him victim status. He says that they are always baffled when he insists to them that he is not a victim. I think a lot of this stuff is status seeking among people who buy into the blue state worldview. It's kind of like gangsters flashing a thick roll of money or bling. Status is kind of an odd thing among various human societies.

Posted by: Obnoxious A-Hole at May 01, 2015 05:36 PM (KDbAT)

474 Barney, The Big Green Dinosaur With The Hincky Sex Habits at May 01, 2015 05:34 PM (DLu2s)

*****

Wait a second. I thought you were purple.

Posted by: Muldoon, a solid man at May 01, 2015 05:36 PM (mvenn)

475 Ace is a VAX 11/780 in a basement museum at Stanford that has achieved self awareness.
Ewok. Pffft.

Posted by: Man from Wazzustan at May 01, 2015 05:37 PM (uPxUo)

476 I love how kindergarten teaches you how to get along with others and college teaches you how not to.

Posted by: Caiwyn

The SJWs are not happy people and never will be. They're miserable people. So they've set up a system of rules to make sure everyone else will ever be miserable. They want everyone perpetually annoyed and/or walking on eggshells. While they themselves will be in charge, of course.

Posted by: Dang at May 01, 2015 05:37 PM (FRkJH)

477 Freddie Gray Family Attorney Is Mentor To Prosecutor Who Just Charged Officers, Donor To Her Election And Part Of Her Transition Team

Weasel Zippers

Posted by: Nevergiveup at May 01, 2015 05:37 PM (/tNwW)

478 Microaggressions are like a nover-ending set of Russian nesting dolls...

Posted by: The Political Hat at May 01, 2015 05:38 PM (0Ew3K)

479 I was wondered why there were so many people from the Northeast in N.O. until I figured out that was the actual N.O. accent. I really hate the Hollywood effed up version. It's always wrong. Almost as bad as the "Southern Belle" accent Hollywood and advertisers have actresses use. NO ONE TALKS LIKE THAT - OR EVER HAS! Posted by: Dang at May 01, 2015 05:28 PM (FRkJH)

German always sounds wrong in Hollywood shows, the actors always make the consonants too guttural and harsh. High German has a pleasant flow to it, and the consonants are much softer. I wouldn't say it's French pretty, but Hochdeutsch has a nice cadence to it when spoken properly.

Posted by: LizLem at May 01, 2015 05:39 PM (yRwC8)

480 I have a brother in Portland, Oregon who tells me that people are always trying to do him the favor of granting him victim status. He says that they are always baffled when he insists to them that he is not a victim. I think a lot of this stuff is status seeking among people who buy into the blue state worldview. It's kind of like gangsters flashing a thick roll of money or bling. Status is kind of an odd thing among various human societies.
Posted by: Obnoxious A-Hole at May 01, 2015 05:36 PM (KDbAT)

I'm trying to imagine some context. Is he a minority of some kind? Was he actually a victim of something?

Posted by: Sambo at May 01, 2015 05:39 PM (sPp6M)

481 Barney, The Big Green Dinosaur With The Hincky Sex Habits at May 01, 2015 05:34 PM (DLu2s)

*****

Wait a second. I thought you were purple.

Posted by: Muldoon, a solid man

Rub harder...

Posted by: Barney at May 01, 2015 05:40 PM (FRkJH)

482 They are just white people who are grout deficient.

Posted by: Caulk Asian at May 01, 2015 05:40 PM (xkSSa)

483 I honesy believe that the true purpose of turning honest cultural misunderstandings/ awkwardness into a social crime is to keep whites and non-whites from interacting at all - one can't accidentally say something offensive to a person of another race if they never speak to a person of another race.

That way, the self appointed spokesmen for racial/ethnic group X that shows up on CNN will be the only people from group X that whites ever see, and there will be no way to check whether what that spokesman is saying about group X is true or complete self serving bullshit.

Posted by: Irving Washington at May 01, 2015 05:40 PM (EC2rI)

484 So when Frank Dux fought Chong Li at the Kumite were you hoping that Chong Li kicked his azz? Did you watch it in person?

Posted by: Random questions for our Asian friends at May 01, 2015 05:40 PM (dqxMS)

485 That and "how many guns to you own?"

Yeah, I basically got that from Canadian customs last year going into Niagara.

Posted by: Stephen Price Blair at May 01, 2015 05:40 PM (J0IP0)

486 From the photos I've seen 4 appear to be White..

Posted by: hello, it's Me Donna ....again at May 01, 2015 05:41 PM (Bn6aD)

487 Ace is a VAX 11/780 in a basement museum at Stanford that has achieved self awareness.
Ewok.

----

Ewww--we're anti-vaxxers.

Posted by: Idiots in the Pacific Northwest at May 01, 2015 05:41 PM (VAsIq)

488 477 Freddie Gray Family Attorney Is Mentor To Prosecutor Who Just Charged Officers, Donor To Her Election And Part Of Her Transition Team

Weasel Zippers
Posted by: Nevergiveup at May 01, 2015 05:37 PM (/tNwW)

In other words, a Loretta Lynch mob.

Posted by: J.J. Sefton at May 01, 2015 05:42 PM (St6BJ)

489 Chowdah?

So wait, Arnold is from Boston?
"It's not a toomah!"

Posted by: Felonious Monk at May 01, 2015 05:42 PM (idmwx)

490 I'm trying to imagine some context. Is he a minority of some kind? Was he actually a victim of something?

Posted by: Sambo

He said it's his "brotha", playa!

Posted by: Guy who speaks the "jive" at May 01, 2015 05:43 PM (VAsIq)

491
I can't think of too many actors who can do a credible southern accent, except those who grew up there like Reese Witherspoon or Matthew McConaughey (yeah, yeah, I know, he's got a Texas accent not southern. Same principle)

Posted by: radar at May 01, 2015 05:43 PM (kQfqk)

492 Hochdeutsch has a nice cadence to it when spoken properly.

Posted by: LizLem

I like hitting the consonants really hard to make pleasantries sound awful. Like saying "Happy Birthday!" of "Chocolate Cake" auf Deutsch. It can sound like you're about to murder someone.

Posted by: Dang at May 01, 2015 05:43 PM (FRkJH)

493 Can a faux pas really be considered an "aggression"? And does it justify urinating in people's caffeinated soft drinks? Now that seems aggressive.

Posted by: Bruce Lee at May 01, 2015 05:44 PM (xkSSa)

494 "Try the flied lice."

That's not misspelled.

Posted by: despair at May 01, 2015 05:44 PM (J6suc)

495 Posted by: The Political Hat at May 01, 2015 05:34 PM (0Ew3K)

They're not saying, but one had a spanish name.

The fact that they're not saying probably means at least one black cop was involved.

Posted by: mynewhandle at May 01, 2015 05:44 PM (AkOaV)

496 I have a real fly problem at my home. Can you bring your chopsticks over and help me catch them?

Posted by: Random questions for our Asian friends at May 01, 2015 05:45 PM (dqxMS)

497 nood

Posted by: yo! at May 01, 2015 05:46 PM (q+zA9)

498 That and "how many guns to you own?"

No nearly as many as I want!

Posted by: rickb223 at May 01, 2015 05:47 PM (BdP+C)

499 When I was in Rome a monk at a church gift shop asked where I was from. I told him Texas and the holds up his finger like a pistol and says, "Texas- bang bang!". I thought that was great.

Posted by: Dang at May 01, 2015 05:47 PM (FRkJH)

500 Freddie Gray Family Attorney Is Mentor To Prosecutor Who Just Charged Officers, Donor To Her Election And Part Of Her Transition Team

Yeah, the Baltimore Police Union is all over that shit. The police involved have as much chance of justice as Nicole Brown and Ron Goldman.

#JusticeForHeroinDealersSellingToYourKids

Posted by: SE Pa Moron at May 01, 2015 05:49 PM (xQX/f)

501 American indians/hispanics are descended from asians. It's odd there don't seem to be any cultural vestiges left. Not sure if there are linguistic vestiges. That would be interesting.

Posted by: Elizabeth Warren at May 01, 2015 05:49 PM (xkSSa)

502 "I'm trying to imagine some context. Is he a minority of some kind? Was he actually a victim of something?

Posted by: Sambo at May 01, 2015 05:39 PM (sPp6M)"

No. The only thing he is a victim of is marrying a woman from Oregon without knowing that, like the salmon, Oregonians all must return home to spawn.

Posted by: Obnoxious A-Hole at May 01, 2015 05:49 PM (KDbAT)

503 Since all heterosexual attraction is oppression, of course it is microaggression at the least if not some new and interesting variety of rape.

Head's up - hugs are now a form of rape according to UVA. Get affirmative consent before you engage in any such activity.

I'm looking at you, 'Ettes. Trading hugs all the time with nary a thought.

Posted by: ConservativeMonster at May 01, 2015 05:50 PM (0NdlF)

504 Oh hey, got willowed. To the Nood!

Posted by: ConservativeMonster at May 01, 2015 05:52 PM (0NdlF)

505 I like hitting the consonants really hard to make pleasantries sound awful. Like saying "Happy Birthday!" of "Chocolate Cake" auf Deutsch. It can sound like you're about to murder someone.
Posted by: Dang at May 01, 2015 05:43 PM (FRkJH)

So true! An awesome series of vids poking fun of German:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?t=30&v=-_xUIDRxdmc
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1YQAYEmwBvs
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hDWw_0deJ3c

Posted by: LizLem at May 01, 2015 06:00 PM (yRwC8)

506 boo fucking hoo if these people are tired of other people trying to find a hook to show interest and talk to someone about them self

Seriously, this post is great and I would take it further. It is not a microagression, it is a peeve, and fuck them for having a peeve about people trying to talk to them and find interest.

This is what happens why we take civilization too far. People no longer worry about who is trying to kill them or what they are going to eat, and they worry about someone seeing their facial features and trying to push a conversation along based on a supposed subject that interests them.

Posted by: Gentlemen, this is democracy manifest at May 01, 2015 06:01 PM (LWu6U)

507 Horrible accents??

Every actor on NCIS New Orleans

Posted by: Village Idiot's Apprentice at May 01, 2015 06:02 PM (VPLuQ)

508 420 "(As in the standard American pronounciation of "Starrrrr Warrrrs," which is distinctively American, I've been told by linguists.)"

Nearer the other way round: the Non-Rhotic Heresy https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rhotic_and_non-rhotic_accents has swept most of England by now, as well as the Southern Hemisphere English accents, but most people in Scotland, Ireland and the southwest of England can still pronounce 'car park' in the manner that God and Shakespeare intended.

Posted by: anonymous irishman at May 01, 2015 06:08 PM (DJgfL)

509 I'm a white guy, but I have an Italian name. Not one of those cute Italian names that end in "-ini", but one of the scary looking names with odd vowel combinations that sounds like a villain from the Godfather. So, I get the "where you from question" All. The. Time. It is no big deal. But then this snowflake melted long ago. These Asians need to spend some time in Frosty's hothouse.

Posted by: tommylotto at May 01, 2015 06:10 PM (A3a8d)

510 467 I love how kindergarten teaches you how to get along with others and college teaches you how not to.

As seen on twitter (if memory serves):

K-12: "We're all winners!"
College: "We're all victims!"

Posted by: Dr. Varno at May 01, 2015 06:12 PM (TF10X)

511 K-12: "We're all winners!"
College: "We're all victims!"
Posted by: Dr. Varno at May 01, 2015 06:12 PM (TF10X)

Our favorite synonyms!

Posted by: The Left, herp a derping at May 01, 2015 06:20 PM (yRwC8)

512 I have two things to say about "micro-aggressions".

1) Micro is a metric term that means one millionth.
Or clearly put it takes 1 million "micro-aggressions" to equal 1 "aggression".

2) After some careful and delicate measuring; I've found the common "micro-aggression" is actually one quadrillionth of a normal aggression not one millionth
Therefore these are properly "femto-aggressions" not "micro-aggressions".

So please, for mathematical accuracy, and proper use of metric terms; these should be referred to as "femto-agressions" in the future.

Posted by: gekkobear at May 01, 2015 06:24 PM (H0IZc)

513 this whole non-troversy is a #FirstWorldProblem...

these assholes need to get a fing life.

Posted by: redc1c4 at May 01, 2015 07:05 PM (RiMtm)

514 I was chatting up a girl one time, and asked where she was from, and she told me that she was Korean. So, perhaps microaggressively, I assumed she was born in Korea and immigrated. A little while later, I found out she was born and raised in Texas, and I'm sitting there confused asking "then why did you say you were from Korea?".

Can't win for losing.

Posted by: malclave at May 01, 2015 07:16 PM (W1Ndc)

515 > Guys? If you think your own culture or race is the best, stop being dishonest, and just express your honest chauvanistic and/or racist feelings.

That would destroy the entire Canadian non-culture of being Smug Not Americans.

Posted by: sodak at May 01, 2015 07:33 PM (17B/j)

516 Tommylotto: "I'm a white guy, but I have an Italian name."

Me, too. Ever get those implications that you must be in the Mafia? I do, on occasion, It's obnoxious, and the person is usually drunk. So I play dumb, stringing out the conversation until they say the word "Mafia."

That's when I half-smile and say "There's no such thing a the Mafia." Then I drop it, and watch the other guy backpedal and squirm. It's actually kind of fun.

Posted by: FireHorse at May 01, 2015 07:38 PM (8LT/S)

517 "We're through the looking glass here, people. Up is down, black is white..."

Posted by: HAL at May 01, 2015 08:30 PM (OmBeX)

518 I've had that "Where are you from?" question asked of me at least 100 times. I always say "California", knowing damn well what they mean, I just like to fuck with people. I never thought they were being assholes for asking though. I also get asked what tribe I'm a member of, usually by Native Americans, since I live in an area that has lots of them. I usually answer "Pinoy". They'll ask where they're found and I tell them it's a Pacific Rim tribe known for a history of cannibalism and headhunting.

Posted by: digitalbrownshirt at May 01, 2015 08:55 PM (YikDz)

519 I'm of English extraction, so people automatically assume that I can't cook tasty food.

I tell you, it pisses me off to no end!

...Now come on over to my flat for some wet barley served in a pie crust.

Posted by: RKae at May 02, 2015 01:01 AM (pkqtv)

520 I've been stationed in three Asian countries, and spent time in three more.

I will ask people where they are from, as a matter of interest, not a matter on condescension. I've had interesting conversations with Vietnamese, Lao(Hmong) and Thai as a result. They have not appeared insulted, or offended, especially if I throw in a few words of their native language (which few I drag up from memory). I also realize that many of these folks do not know any of their parents' native language.

Posted by: Coarsehair at May 02, 2015 10:14 AM (u3Oww)

521 My parents are from India. One time this guy, when finding out where they were from, said "You must find it so strange to see cars everywhere." I was puzzled, as I am from New York, so I asked, "How come?"
He said, "Well, they ride camels where you're from."
I said, "No, you have us confused with Arabs. We ride elephants."

I found the whole thing really funny, but not a reason for rage. I told this story to a black friend as a funny story, and she got offended on my behalf, which I also found strange.

I have not had the African-American experience of slavery, Jim Crow, etc. But I think rage is not a productive response to racism or (in this case) ignorance.

Sometimes people are genuinely curious and that's great. Sometimes people are outright racists, and that's not so great, but, really, how big a percentage are those people? I have mostly white friends. Most of my employers have been white. Same with neighbors. And I have to say - it's been fine. Racism exists in America but it's just not that big a deal if you don't let it be a big deal.

It's the same with sexism. My first boss used to call me honey all the time. He also gave me great assignments and raises when I deserved them. So - do I focus on the one little thing, which is actually sorta endearing, or the more important stuff?

As an American, I CHOOSE to focus on the positive things about this country instead of the negatives. I will be a happier, healthier and more productive person because of it.

Posted by: Shefali at May 02, 2015 04:30 PM (tdnfQ)

522 A black friend told me of a good deed he had done, and without thinking, I said , " that's mighty white of you." He did not react to my statement , but I realized it later and sent him an apologetic email. He wrote back , " you're not a racist . I hear these kinds of expressions all the time. It is not your fault. "

That was mighty polite of him. Yet another good deed!

Posted by: Bob Ellison at May 02, 2015 05:49 PM (2P0aJ)

523 Is it Brandeis University, or "Brain Dies" University?

Posted by: Stumpy at May 02, 2015 06:06 PM (67ZTl)

524 I don't think it's so much the Special Little Snowflakes needing drama in their existence as much as they've been taught from kindergarten through high school that the world is a bigoted, racist, classist, misogynistic place. When they get to college (which they mistakenly think of as the "real world" when it's anything but) they just KNOW there's some oppression going on somewhere, and so they have to find something that confirms their preconceptions no matter how trivial it is.

Posted by: Socratease at May 02, 2015 06:07 PM (2GbWn)

525 This was a little too long to read so I'd just like to comment fuck you all. Thank you. Go about your day.

Posted by: Zak Mikolasc at May 02, 2015 06:39 PM (PQ4ec)

526 "Addis" is what Ethiopians often say to refer to Addis Ababa. It's not "cool", its common/idiom. (Possible analogy: some people say "New York" when they mean "New York, New York".)

Posted by: Henry at May 02, 2015 09:33 PM (4QKwx)

527 I'm Caucasian (a fancy way of saying the rather distasteful "white") and have lived in Taiwan for the last 5+ years. I get asked where "I'm from"
at least every other day. I answer, "My mother." full stop. Then I say, "and she happened to be in California when I was born." Causes people to actually think and usually starts a pretty interesting conversation.

Posted by: Bill Bahn at May 02, 2015 11:25 PM (634Bw)

528 There have been actual television game shows in Japan and South Korea where contestants try to guess whether people are Japanese, Korean, or Chinese. They often get it wrong. Just FYI.

Posted by: Exurban at May 03, 2015 01:32 AM (H5lM2)

529 Exactly ACE. Everything these days is incoherent, for example those who claim to believe in scientific progress, oppose fracking. But think about it, what does all this 'You should just know and at the same time how dare you?' modern reasoning remind you of?

That's right, it's how women have always argued. The more women in the public sphere, the more incoherent public debates become. Instead of being elevated by education, they have dragged education down to kitchen-squabble level.

Posted by: bruce at May 11, 2015 06:32 PM (sOEaJ)

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