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Wednesday Morning News Dump

Posted by: BenK at 09:17 AM




Comments

(Jump to bottom of comments)

1 Morning all.

Posted by: HH at April 01, 2015 09:17 AM (Ce4DF)

2 APOD is pretty cool today.

Posted by: rickl at April 01, 2015 09:18 AM (zoehZ)

3 OK, new thread...

Posted by: Lizzy at April 01, 2015 09:18 AM (TLTHv)

4 /wave

Posted by: artisanal 'ette at April 01, 2015 09:18 AM (IXrOn)

5
In before the liberal trolls, but keeping a sharp eye for the serial prevaricating dick wigglers.

Posted by: Doctor Fish at April 01, 2015 09:18 AM (P330y)

6 Hillary Clinton's Approval Ratings Have Fallen And Can't Get Up

heh. perfect headliner

Posted by: artisanal 'ette at April 01, 2015 09:19 AM (IXrOn)

7 Good morning!

Posted by: Michael Haz at April 01, 2015 09:19 AM (APCKW)

8 BRING ME THE HEAD OF BENK FOR LEADING ME ON

/weeps uncontrollably

Posted by: Brother Cavil, Unrepresented Christian Objectivist at April 01, 2015 09:20 AM (DT3rQ)

9 Netflix Announces That It Has Bought The Rights To Firefly From Fox Studios

*Squirt*

Posted by: Colorado Alex at April 01, 2015 09:20 AM (YQ4mh)

10 That Netflix link doesn't exactly match the headline.

Posted by: HH at April 01, 2015 09:20 AM (Ce4DF)

11 >>Ed Schultz Embarrasses Himself

This does not really qualify as news.

Posted by: JackStraw at April 01, 2015 09:20 AM (g1DWB)

12 Je suis Hoosier

Posted by: Roy at April 01, 2015 09:20 AM (VndSC)

13 SO....new season of Firefly then?

Posted by: Lizzy at April 01, 2015 09:21 AM (TLTHv)

14 Who knew McConnell had a sense of humor? April Fools Day and all.

http://yhoo.it/1BPJUJR

Posted by: MTF, Vote for someone the GOP insiders hate! at April 01, 2015 09:21 AM (LISuA)

15
The democrat party line is that we need a new set of Jim Crow laws, applied to people of faith.

Funny how the same party that created slavery, separate but equal, and the original Jim Crow laws still have the same principles, just different targets.

Posted by: Vashta Nerada at April 01, 2015 09:22 AM (eoeps)

16 Morning, Ricardo.
I had to restart iPad because I posted in last thread & nothing happened.,

Posted by: Carol at April 01, 2015 09:22 AM (sj3Ax)

17 Vegas bookies have the Cubs as odds-on favorites to win the World Series this fall.

Posted by: Roy at April 01, 2015 09:22 AM (VndSC)

18 Hey Ben, is this you? Its an old family video and I wondered if you're the second guy from the front.

http://bit.ly/1ETd7Ha

Posted by: MTF, Vote for someone the GOP insiders hate! at April 01, 2015 09:23 AM (LISuA)

19 Miley Cyrus Speaks Out Against Indiana's 'Religious Freedom' Law: 'It Is Unevolved Unjust!'





I'm so glad this mental heavy weight has let us know her well informed opinion on this and that the MFM has dutifully reported it. Legions of LIVs of course, will use this as their only source of information on this

Posted by: TheQuietMan at April 01, 2015 09:23 AM (3UGBQ)

20 BRING ME THE HEAD OF BENK FOR LEADING ME ON



/weeps uncontrollably

Posted by: Brother Cavil, Unrepresented Christian Objectivist at April 01, 2015 09:20 AM (DT3rQ)


It shall be done Brother. It shall be done.

Posted by: GGE of the Moron Horde, NC Chapter at April 01, 2015 09:23 AM (6fyGz)

21 The left wages total war, then plays the victim.

Just like the muslims. No wonder they love them so much.

Posted by: Lauren at April 01, 2015 09:23 AM (MYCIw)

22 I'm glad it's a new month.

Posted by: Carol at April 01, 2015 09:24 AM (sj3Ax)

23
During the time preceding Chelsea's birth, I was not dorking Hillary and therefore, Chelsea is not my child.

Posted by: Webb Hubbell at April 01, 2015 09:25 AM (P330y)

24 I used "own goal" in jest yesterday, because it is becoming prevalent in conservative writings (including Ace's own posts).

Here it is again over at RedState

These bills are an "own goal" for the homosexual lobby and their dishonest and vicious smears about these laws and the people connected with them will come back to haunt them. What the protests do is give away the game. The homosexual lobby is not interested in tolerance. They are not even interested in acceptance. They have had both for decades. What they are after is celebration and the eradication of Christian (or any other religion's) moral theology from public discussion. They are focused on driving religion into as space confined to a single building for a hour or so each week.

interesting... chuckle worthy

excerpt from redstate's Arkansas passes a state RFRA story

Posted by: artisanal 'ette at April 01, 2015 09:25 AM (IXrOn)

25 Let's face it,Joss Whedon would have ruined Firefly if it hadn't been cancelled.

Posted by: steevy at April 01, 2015 09:25 AM (KETbL)

26 No lie and no joke, I am thrilled for all the Firefly fans that Netflix bought the rights.

Posted by: alexthechick - Scariest. Evah. at April 01, 2015 09:25 AM (mf5HN)

27 Clicked the Firefly link immediately.

Remembered it was April Fools a second too late.

Yooooou sonofabitch.

Posted by: SombraStewart at April 01, 2015 09:25 AM (y9wxf)

28 And motherfucker.

You know what, shit like this is why I hate April Fool's Day.

Posted by: alexthechick - Scariest. Evah. at April 01, 2015 09:26 AM (mf5HN)

29 A series of mysterious pulsing signals coming from outside our solar system form a strange unexplained pattern, researchers have revealed.

Known as Fast Radio Bursts (FRBs), just 10 have been discovered

Now a new study has found that all 10 bursts' dispersion measures are multiples of a single number: 187.5

Scientist discover the 187.5 bursts are a language discovered 4000 years ago and the bursts of frequency is speaking to us ;
Translation; 'You people suck down there, knock it off'

Posted by: comrade willow at April 01, 2015 09:26 AM (nqBYe)

30 I do this.
Every chance I get.

Ben Shapiro

How to Debate Leftists and Destroy them: 11 Rules for winning and argument

...

Rule#10: Let the other side have meaningless victories. That means cede them a meaningless point to soften them up and show that you are not a right a winger.


http://bit.ly/1xyytcP

Posted by: artisanal 'ette at April 01, 2015 09:26 AM (IXrOn)

31 Webb
She looked a lot like you until Chelsea had plastic surgery.

Posted by: Carol at April 01, 2015 09:27 AM (sj3Ax)

32 five young black men accused of rape in the dorm in northern new jersey were exonerated by a grand jury yesterday

they found witnesses and other proof (cell phone video?) that there was no rape, that any sexual conduct was consensual

they have already been kicked out of school. Any google search will reveal the accusations falsely made against them

Posted by: ThunderB at April 01, 2015 09:27 AM (zOTsN)

33 Netflix Announces That It Has Bought The Rights To Firefly From Fox Studios

So. Cruel.

Posted by: Bandersnatch at April 01, 2015 09:27 AM (JtwS4)

34 Where are the most influential Lefty comment boards. I need a spotter.

Posted by: Feh at April 01, 2015 09:27 AM (HJcwu)

35 As of April 30th, Ace of Spades HQ will be closing

Posted by: uAce at April 01, 2015 09:27 AM (+hB3s)

36 Look Penceive for press = immediate 2016 fail.

Posted by: DaveA at April 01, 2015 09:28 AM (DL2i+)

37 Barack Obama is a SCOAMT.

Posted by: AllenG (DedicatedTenther) - TrueCon at April 01, 2015 09:28 AM (kff5f)

38
13 SO....new season of Firefly then?
Posted by: Lizzy at April 01, 2015 09:21 AM (TLTHv)

Yesssssss, my precioussss. (Featuring the new fat, weepy , oh so sensitve Nathan Filion).

Posted by: kraken at April 01, 2015 09:28 AM (5+mPY)

39 Obama reacts to Indian and Arkansas discrimination against homosexuals

http://bit.ly/1AX8TOE

Posted by: MTF, Vote for someone the GOP insiders hate! at April 01, 2015 09:28 AM (LISuA)

40 Burn it down.
Scatter the stones.
Salt the earth where it stood.

Posted by: AllenG (DedicatedTenther) - TrueCon at April 01, 2015 09:28 AM (kff5f)

41 Netflix Announces That It Has Bought The Rights To Firefly From Fox Studios

Be still, my heart.

Posted by: AllenG (DedicatedTenther) - TrueCon at April 01, 2015 09:29 AM (kff5f)

42 Good morning, all you April Fools!

Posted by: Insomniac at April 01, 2015 09:29 AM (2Ojst)

43 BBC reporting that Kerry has formed a close friendship with his Iranian negotiating partner and Can't Wait! to visit Tehran

Posted by: ThunderB at April 01, 2015 09:29 AM (zOTsN)

44 " five young black men accused of rape in the dorm in northern new jersey were exonerated by a grand jury yesterday
"

Was this the case where they had video of the blacked out girl being drug into a dorm room?

Posted by: Lauren at April 01, 2015 09:29 AM (MYCIw)

45 so did we finally win and the Iranians finally concede to Obama they'll only make 100 nukes by the end of the year and not 500?

Posted by: comrade willow at April 01, 2015 09:29 AM (nqBYe)

46

Okawa had been eating well until losing her appetite 10 days ago, enjoying her daily cup of coffee and her favourite dishes such as ramen, Okada said.

rip

Posted by: artisanal 'ette at April 01, 2015 09:29 AM (IXrOn)

47 Sadly, we seem to be in the process of suffering a long April Fools, which commenced November 5, 2008.

Posted by: Brother Cavil, Unrepresented Christian Objectivist at April 01, 2015 09:29 AM (DT3rQ)

48 They are rebooting Firefly with an all black,transgender cast.

Posted by: steevy at April 01, 2015 09:30 AM (KETbL)

49 click the Firefly link

its april fools day

Posted by: ThunderB at April 01, 2015 09:30 AM (zOTsN)

50
With a unanimous vote, the Joint Chiefs of Staff have selected Ace of Spades, the Smart Military Blog, as advisers to senior military staff worldwide.

Posted by: The Pentagon at April 01, 2015 09:30 AM (P330y)

51 >>So. Cruel.

In other words, a perfect April Fool's prank.

April Fool's pranks are supposed to be funny to the pranked, it's for the pranker.

Posted by: JackStraw at April 01, 2015 09:30 AM (g1DWB)

52 Dammit Ben.

Posted by: AllenG (DedicatedTenther) - TrueCon at April 01, 2015 09:30 AM (kff5f)

53 Obama reacts to Indian and Arkansas discrimination against homosexuals

Hmm. Heap Big Anus in heap big trouble.

Posted by: Indian discriminator at April 01, 2015 09:30 AM (2Ojst)

54 On the local news today they reported it will snow tomorrow - thought it was an April Fools's joke, since it was 81 yesterday and 70's for days.
Sadly, no.

Posted by: Lizzy at April 01, 2015 09:31 AM (TLTHv)

55 Horseface issues a 'greeting' to Iranian people ahead of agreement announcement, offering advice.


http://bit.ly/1J9O2cS

Posted by: MTF, Vote for someone the GOP insiders hate! at April 01, 2015 09:31 AM (LISuA)

56 49 click the Firefly link

its april fools day
Posted by: ThunderB at April 01, 2015 09:30 AM (zOTsN)

April Fool's jokes should be funny, not insufferably cruel. You're a vicious bastard, Ben, a vicious bastard!

Posted by: Insomniac at April 01, 2015 09:31 AM (2Ojst)

57 The bad part is, the SOB recycled a four year old gag:

http://tinyurl.com/d69boup

Posted by: Brother Cavil, Unrepresented Christian Objectivist at April 01, 2015 09:31 AM (DT3rQ)

58 Did everyone here also get the email from AOSQ headquarters last week??

sigh, so ace will still post movie reviews but comments will no longer be allowed?

Posted by: comrade willow at April 01, 2015 09:32 AM (nqBYe)

59 SO....new season of Firefly then?



How? They killed off Wash.
Mal has porked up. Totally unbelievable now.

Posted by: rickb223 at April 01, 2015 09:32 AM (1OvE7)

60 Posted by: Indian discriminator at April 01, 2015 09:30 AM (2Ojst)
=================

ooops!

'Indiana'

Posted by: MTF, Vote for someone the GOP insiders hate! at April 01, 2015 09:33 AM (LISuA)

61 alex, tea .
with a shot of sumthin- sumthin. Because it is probably going to be one of those days.

Posted by: comrade willow at April 01, 2015 09:33 AM (nqBYe)

62 I went outside but it's too cold to stay out in garden.

Posted by: Carol at April 01, 2015 09:33 AM (sj3Ax)

63 April Fool's jokes should be funny, not insufferably cruel. You're a vicious bastard, Ben, a vicious bastard!
Posted by: Insomniac


Cut him!

Posted by: rickb223 at April 01, 2015 09:33 AM (1OvE7)

64 How? They killed off Wash.
Mal has porked up. Totally unbelievable now.
Posted by: rickb223 at April 01, 2015 09:32 AM (1OvE7)

It can be done. In his natural state, Chris Pratt is kind of a tub, but he got pretty buff for GotG.

Posted by: Insomniac at April 01, 2015 09:34 AM (2Ojst)

65 A Joe Bastardi (the renegade weather guy) tweet:


Big upturn in Global Ace this year,


He says this like it's a good thing.

Could be an April Fools Joke, I suppose.

But, Bastardi is basically One Of Us. -at-BigJoeBastardi if you care to follow, or weather bell.com if you've got the cash. His Saturday weather updates are always amusing, if nearly incomprehensible.

Posted by: filbert at April 01, 2015 09:34 AM (h6Mpm)

66 Barack Obama loves America.

Posted by: by Posted at April 01, 2015 09:35 AM (0xN9u)

67 Membership in the Chamber of Commerce is becoming the kiss of death for me. I avoid giving members my custom if it is at all possible.

Posted by: toby928(C) at April 01, 2015 09:35 AM (evdj2)

68 I actually love this.


Steinway's New Piano Can Play a Perfect Concerto by Itself

http://wrd.cm/1xX8vAf

steep in price, of course

When you buy a Spirio---not you, necessarily; they run upwards of $110,000---it comes with an iPad loaded with a Spotify-like app. This app communicates with the piano via Bluetooth, prompting the piano to play any one of the 1,700 songs recorded specifically for the instrument. New songs will sync every week. By itself, an iPad-controlled piano is nifty, if not exactly a technological marvel. What makes Spirio different is that it can play songs with an unprecedented level of accuracy and nuance.

Wired.com

not a joke

http://bit.ly/1aiFFjk (steinway.com)

love it
smart

Posted by: artisanal 'ette at April 01, 2015 09:35 AM (IXrOn)

69 no video of her drugged that led to the charges. Campus cops arrested them based on her say so

and the grand jury would not indict. None of the five have a criminal record

Posted by: ThunderB at April 01, 2015 09:35 AM (zOTsN)

70
I have conclusive evidence that the vaccines I was forced to receive at age five made me a homosexual.

Posted by: Elton John at April 01, 2015 09:35 AM (P330y)

71 Jen Psaki-Psak says "no prisoners will be left behind" after Iran agreement concluded.

http://tws.io/1xB8yz6

Posted by: MTF, Vote for someone the GOP insiders hate! at April 01, 2015 09:35 AM (LISuA)

72 59 SO....new season of Firefly then?



How? They killed off Wash.
Mal has porked up. Totally unbelievable now.
Posted by: rickb223 at April 01, 2015 09:32 AM (1OvE7)

Yeah.... Stana Katic as the courtesan, Susan Sullivan as the ship's harridan, and that pudgy dough-faced girl as River? TNT would give that a go, sadly.

Posted by: kraken at April 01, 2015 09:35 AM (5+mPY)

73 66 Barack Obama loves America.
Posted by: by Posted at April 01, 2015 09:35 AM (0xN9u)

Like Ike loved Tina.

Posted by: Insomniac at April 01, 2015 09:35 AM (2Ojst)

74 But, Bastardi is basically One Of Us. -at-BigJoeBastardi if you care to follow, or weather bell.com if you've got the cash. His Saturday weather updates are always amusing, if nearly incomprehensible.
Posted by: filbert at April 01, 2015 09:34 AM (h6Mpm)


The Saturday Bastardi Update is free, btw.

Posted by: filbert at April 01, 2015 09:35 AM (h6Mpm)

75 California law unanimously passed a bill yesterday stating there shall be no more marriage licenses passed out unless the parties seeking a license agree to having their marriage night recorded for a new game show .
California revenue bill 287678.

Posted by: comrade willow at April 01, 2015 09:36 AM (nqBYe)

76 Willow
I didn't get an email? April Fools Joke??

Posted by: Carol at April 01, 2015 09:36 AM (sj3Ax)

77 69 no video of her drugged that led to the charges. Campus cops arrested them based on her say so

and the grand jury would not indict. None of the five have a criminal record
Posted by: ThunderB at April 01, 2015 09:35 AM (zOTsN)

To what are you referring?

Posted by: Insomniac at April 01, 2015 09:37 AM (2Ojst)

78 Gay Marriage Isn't About Justice, It's About Selma Envy

No. It's about power and control. They mimic the Civil Rights Movement (all of it- they just don't admit to mimicking some of the darker parts) because it is an effective means to assert control over a generally moral people.

It would not have worked in Germany circa 1939. It would not have worked in Soviet Russia. It would not work today in any number of places. Because those are not "a generally moral people."

It does work in America because we are: at the same time they are trying to call Christians evil and bigoted; at the same time they are calling us backwards and saying we want "a new Jim Crow," it is only the fact that the Judeo-Christian tradition is so deeply seeded in this nation that allows them to do so.

Posted by: AllenG (DedicatedTenther) - TrueCon at April 01, 2015 09:37 AM (kff5f)

79 Trevor Noah is returning from his gig in Oman to perform at four venues in the United States, the last one in Irvine CA which may as well be Oman

Posted by: ThunderB at April 01, 2015 09:38 AM (zOTsN)

80 Joe Biden announces he will personally protect America from Iranian nuclear aggression.

http://thebea.st/1IJfoHv

Posted by: MTF, Vote for someone the GOP insiders hate! at April 01, 2015 09:38 AM (LISuA)

81 I didn't get an email? April Fools Joke??
Posted by: Carol at April 01, 2015 09:36 AM (sj3Ax)

(whispers yes)

Posted by: comrade willow at April 01, 2015 09:38 AM (nqBYe)

82 I texted three people before I even clicked the firefly link and got zonked.

Perfect April Fool's joke. Well played.

/heartbreak

Posted by: Rory Vincent at April 01, 2015 09:39 AM (Tc9bP)

83 It does work in America because we are: at the same time they are trying to call Christians evil and bigoted; at the same time they are calling us backwards and saying we want "a new Jim Crow," it is only the fact that the Judeo-Christian tradition is so deeply seeded in this nation that allows them to do so.
Posted by: AllenG (DedicatedTenther) - TrueCon at April 01, 2015 09:37 AM (kff5f)

And what they're advocating is essentially a new Jim Crow against Christians.

Posted by: Insomniac at April 01, 2015 09:39 AM (2Ojst)

84 World's Oldest Person, Born In 1898, Died Yesterday



****


Woo Hoo!

Posted by: World's Second Oldest Person at April 01, 2015 09:40 AM (NeFrd)

85 Barack Obama is a Constitutional scholar.

Posted by: by Posted by at by at April 01, 2015 09:40 AM (0xN9u)

86 zzzzZZZZZzzzzz

Posted by: World's Third Oldest Person at April 01, 2015 09:41 AM (evdj2)

87 Insomnic

there was a sensational allegation of gang rape at William Patterson College last fall in northern New Jersey. Five black freshman were immediately arrested, jailed and kicked out of college

Grand Jury no billed. Said clearly it was not rape. Witnesses came forward to corraborate the version of events told by the defendents.

Posted by: ThunderB at April 01, 2015 09:41 AM (zOTsN)

88 " Jen Psaki-Psak says "no prisoners will be left behind" after Iran agreement concluded.
"

So Pastor Saeed will be released then? I'm not holding my breath.

Posted by: Lauren at April 01, 2015 09:41 AM (MYCIw)

89 the last one in Irvine CA which may as well be Oman

Posted by: ThunderB at April 01, 2015 09:38 AM (zOTsN)

UC Irvine may be ground-zero for Jew hate in America.

Amazing, isn't it? I guess the Holocaust wasn't enough for the world.

Posted by: CharlieBrown'sDildo at April 01, 2015 09:41 AM (Zu3d9)

90 that was a mean Firefly April 1st joke.

Browncoat sad.

Posted by: Browncoat at April 01, 2015 09:41 AM (xsOGI)

91
@25
Yep, Whedon would've screwed it up on his own. Nothing new there.

Posted by: lurkingestlurker-Giant Plush Porcupine at April 01, 2015 09:41 AM (k8xvx)

92 84 World's Oldest Person, Born In 1898, Died Yesterday
****
Woo Hoo!
Posted by: World's Second Oldest Person at April 01, 2015 09:40 AM (

Hehehe.

Posted by: kraken at April 01, 2015 09:41 AM (5+mPY)

93 I will give this advice to young men. Don't participate in a gang bang, no matter how consensual. Sad it needs to be said, but apparently there's some confusion on this point.

Posted by: Lauren at April 01, 2015 09:42 AM (MYCIw)

94 And what they're advocating is essentially a new Jim Crow against Christians.

Exactly.

Though, if history is any guide, they won't like that either. Christianity tends to spread when it's repressed to heavily. We've become complacent about it here in the States, because the US has traditionally been a Christian nation. If they take that away, I don't think they realize what they'll be unleashing.

The Civil Rights Movement worked because the US was a generally moral nation. It also worked because it's most iconic advocates were *also* Christian, and suffered legal consequences with dignity.

It's very hard to say a man shouldn't be able to eat at a lunch counter when that man is quite willing to be set upon by dogs and do time in jail- largely without complaint- to assert his Right to do so.

I don't see any of the Gaystapo being set upon by dogs, beaten, or sent to prison.

Posted by: AllenG (DedicatedTenther) - TrueCon at April 01, 2015 09:43 AM (kff5f)

95 Steinway's New Piano Can Play a Perfect Concerto by Itself



Steinway? You should see the Henway.

Posted by: rickb223 at April 01, 2015 09:43 AM (1OvE7)

96 91
@25
Yep, Whedon would've screwed it up on his own. Nothing new there.
Posted by: lurkingestlurker-Giant Plush Porcupine at April 01, 2015 09:41 AM (k8xvx

I give you Buffy, and Dollhouse as evidence, yer honor.

Posted by: kraken at April 01, 2015 09:44 AM (5+mPY)

97
Rights to Firefly? Why?

I did see an article on how Larurence Fishbourne's 80 yr old mother faces eviction and he wont help her. Larry is married to Gina Torres who was in Firefly. The comments to the story were horrendous. The woman is not living the high life. People kept saying she shd learn to manage her money. She's freaking 80 yrs old! Give her a break! The cruelty exhibited in the comments was terrible.

Posted by: Bruce J. at April 01, 2015 09:44 AM (iQIUe)

98 Steinway will come.

Posted by: Arnold Hitler at April 01, 2015 09:44 AM (evdj2)

99 Aaron Hernandez trial clickiing along. WEEI reading live Tweets from the court room. Aaron's weed guy just sold him down the river, said he always had a gun in the basement, that's the gun the girlfriend ditched in a dumpster the day after the shooting, allegedly. The fact that the weed guy had previously been shot in the face by Hernandez probaly didn't help Aaron's case.

Posted by: Lincolntf at April 01, 2015 09:44 AM (2cS/G)

100 IRS Ignoring 60% of Taxpayer Calls announces shortest wait times in its history.


***


"You have reached the Internal Revenue Service. In order to keep wait times to a minimum we are not currently accepting new callers. Please try again later. Click. zzzzzzzzzzzz"

Posted by: Harumphey Bogart at April 01, 2015 09:45 AM (NeFrd)

101
Dollhouse was creepy. It was glammed up prostitution.

Posted by: Bruce J. at April 01, 2015 09:45 AM (iQIUe)

102 Grand Jury no billed. Said clearly it was not rape. Witnesses came forward to corraborate the version of events told by the defendents.
Posted by: ThunderB at April 01, 2015 09:41 AM (zOTsN)

So...what actually happened? A consensual gangbang that she later regretted?

Posted by: Insomniac at April 01, 2015 09:45 AM (2Ojst)

103 agree Lauren. Althought he fact it was a gang bang means someone must have filmed it on their cell phone

either way

gross

it happened at about 1:30 in the afternoon on a snow day. Most students do not live on campus but these ones did

Posted by: ThunderB at April 01, 2015 09:45 AM (zOTsN)

104

11-Year-Old Girl Suspended After Recording Teacher's Inappropriate Behavior!

http://madworldnews.com/suspended-recording-teacher/

video at link

The incident, which occurred inside a fifth grade classroom in Fort Pierce, Florida, caught the teacher being mean to another student. In the video captured by Brianna, the teacher's remarks to another student are clearly heard.

"Don't let size fool you. I will drop you ... You Don't know me, that's all I'm saying. So, don't give me no look."

The teacher went on to further belittle the student in front of the class.

"You're the biggest kid in the 5th grade and you're acting like the smallest one ... I wonder what your mom looks like."

St. Lucie County School District released the following statement:

"The staff at Sam Gaines Academy investigated the incident involving unprofessional behavior by the teacher and took swift, appropriate action. The teacher was dismissed and no longer works for the school system."

Posted by: artisanal 'ette at April 01, 2015 09:45 AM (IXrOn)

105
@93
Yeah that is sad that it needs to be said.Young menthese daysare aware that almost nothing in porn is really real, right? That drugs and painkillers play a fairly large role in the functioning of the industry? No? Well, we're f**ked as a culture, then.

Posted by: lurkingestlurker-Giant Plush Porcupine at April 01, 2015 09:45 AM (k8xvx)

106 >>> Netflix Announces That It Has Bought The Rights To Firefly From Fox Studios

Alternative title: BenK taunts happy fun ball, tempts fate.

I knew it had to be false, yet clicked in hope anyway. Well played, sir.

Posted by: LizLem at April 01, 2015 09:45 AM (jzdPq)

107 Belichick in the court room, about to take the stand.

Posted by: Lincolntf at April 01, 2015 09:46 AM (2cS/G)

108 college president says she will still look at taking the case to a student conduct board so they are prolly still kicked out.

Posted by: ThunderB at April 01, 2015 09:46 AM (zOTsN)

109 107 Wearing a cut off hoodie?

Posted by: steevy at April 01, 2015 09:46 AM (KETbL)

110 101
Dollhouse was creepy. It was glammed up prostitution.
Posted by: Bruce J. at April 01, 2015 09:45 AM (iQIUe)

I found the concept interesting. Also, that wasn't the endgame.

Posted by: Insomniac at April 01, 2015 09:46 AM (2Ojst)

111 I give you Buffy, and Dollhouse as evidence, yer honor.

Posted by: kraken at April 01, 2015 09:44 AM (5+mPY)


Is that evidence contra "Whedon would screw it up?" Because... that's how it should be taken.

Buffy is still awesome pushing 20 years later. Dollhouse was remarkable while it lasted.

Actually, it was what Fox did to Firefly that made Whedon purposely tank some shows (like Dollhouse, and... another one I don't remember the name of- also with Eliza Dushku) because he was so mad at them.

Which, as a fan, sucks.

Posted by: AllenG (DedicatedTenther) - TrueCon at April 01, 2015 09:47 AM (kff5f)

112 >>Jen Psaki-Psak says "no prisoners will be left behind" after Iran agreement concluded.

Yeah, knowing Iran and Obama this means that they'll be executed and Obama will only find out the next day when he hears about it from MSNBC,

Posted by: Lizzy at April 01, 2015 09:47 AM (TLTHv)

113 I knew it was an April Fool's joke before I clicked the link, but I still think that the person who thought up that prank should have his/her pubic hair infested with some sort of painful parasite. Some things you just don't joke about.

Posted by: physics geek at April 01, 2015 09:47 AM (MT22W)

114 Netflix still has the Firefly series in the catalog but "Serenity" (the movie) appears to have been deleted.

Posted by: mrp at April 01, 2015 09:47 AM (JBggj)

115 she didnt report it until the next day. no medical exam. she never pulled on of the campus alarm boxes

i think she discovered she was the talk of the campus and then reported

Posted by: ThunderB at April 01, 2015 09:48 AM (zOTsN)

116 114 Netflix still has the Firefly series in the catalog but "Serenity" (the movie) appears to have been deleted.
Posted by: mrp at April 01, 2015 09:47 AM (JBggj)

Maybe not for streaming, but I'm sure it's available on DVD.

Posted by: Insomniac at April 01, 2015 09:48 AM (2Ojst)

Posted by: Lizzy at April 01, 2015 09:48 AM (TLTHv)

118 Meh. Never gave a shit about Firefly.

Yeah, heresy, I know.

Posted by: Zap Rowsdower at April 01, 2015 09:48 AM (MMC8r)

119 They said Bill's "looking spiffy", so I guess he dressed up for the big day. "It is what it is, Your Honor, it is what it is".

Posted by: Lincolntf at April 01, 2015 09:48 AM (2cS/G)

120 115 she didnt report it until the next day. no medical exam. she never pulled on of the campus alarm boxes

i think she discovered she was the talk of the campus and then reported
Posted by: ThunderB at April 01, 2015 09:48 AM (zOTsN)

Figures.

Posted by: Insomniac at April 01, 2015 09:48 AM (2Ojst)

121 So, I got my girlfriend and most of you guys today.

I just need to get the rest of my immediate family and today will be a total success.

Posted by: Ben at April 01, 2015 09:49 AM (LpnAb)

122 World's Oldest Person, Born In 1898, Died Yesterday

Considering what this world has turned into, they probably wished they had died years ago.

Posted by: Mary Poppins' Practically Perfect Piercing at April 01, 2015 09:49 AM (zF6Iw)

123 118 Meh. Never gave a shit about Firefly.

Yeah, heresy, I know.
Posted by: Zap Rowsdower at April 01, 2015 09:48 AM (MMC8r)

We had a cancellation, so we can fit you in for your burning at 2:00 this afternoon.

Posted by: Insomniac at April 01, 2015 09:49 AM (2Ojst)

124 Dollhouse was creepy. It was glammed up prostitution.

Posted by: Bruce J. at April 01, 2015 09:45 AM (iQIUe)


It was glammed up sex-slavery. Thus the whole point of the show being one of the Dolls waking up, realizing how bad it all was, and trying to take down the corporation behind it.

It was deeply disturbing on several levels- but very, very well done.

Posted by: AllenG (DedicatedTenther) - TrueCon at April 01, 2015 09:49 AM (kff5f)

125 "Serenity"

Posted by: mrp at April 01, 2015 09:47 AM (JBggj)

Yes. George Lucas actually bought the movie. Supposedly he will be re-releasing it with additional scenes and CGI.

Posted by: CharlieBrown'sDildo at April 01, 2015 09:49 AM (Zu3d9)

126 there Ben Is! Burn the Witch!

Posted by: comrade willow at April 01, 2015 09:50 AM (nqBYe)

127 Yes. George Lucas actually bought the movie. Supposedly he will be re-releasing it with additional scenes and CGI.
Posted by: CharlieBrown'sDildo at April 01, 2015 09:49 AM (Zu3d9)

Please tell me that's an April Fool's joke. It's bad enough he f*cked up his own franchise.

Posted by: Insomniac at April 01, 2015 09:50 AM (2Ojst)

128 the horde will find you ben and you will wake up with a little ewok doll head in your bed

Posted by: ThunderB at April 01, 2015 09:50 AM (zOTsN)

129
Nathan Fillion needs to lose weight. His extra weight has aged him terribly.

Alan Tudyk's guest spot on Justified was great.

Posted by: Bruce J. at April 01, 2015 09:50 AM (iQIUe)

130 "Serenity"Posted by: mrp at April 01, 2015 09:47 AM (JBggj)Yes. George Lucas actually bought the movie. Supposedly he will be re-releasing it with additional scenes and CGI.
Posted by: CharlieBrown'sDildo

me'sa veeeerry happy by this a news!

Posted by: Jar Jar is back baby at April 01, 2015 09:51 AM (Spluw)

131 End of tolerance and forced morality?

It's like Ben never heard of the Soviet Union.

Look, the reason these chucklehead socialists are winning is because too many newbies on the scene, like the aforementioned Ben, insist on playing Charlie Brown to their Lucy.

Bringing words... too many words, to a gun fight. The left is out to take away your freedom. And you feel the need to post a "hey, that's not fair!" column?

Posted by: BurtTC at April 01, 2015 09:51 AM (TOk1P)

132 Posted by: CharlieBrown'sDildo at April 01, 2015 09:49 AM (Zu3d9)

...That's not funny.

Posted by: AllenG (DedicatedTenther) - TrueCon at April 01, 2015 09:51 AM (kff5f)

133 Yes. George Lucas actually bought the movie. Supposedly he will be re-releasing it with additional scenes and CGI.

Mal headshots JarJar every episode.

Posted by: Brother Cavil, Unrepresented Christian Objectivist at April 01, 2015 09:51 AM (DT3rQ)

134
@121, @126
*Runs around in a lather with quills rattling*

Posted by: lurkingestlurker-Giant Plush Porcupine at April 01, 2015 09:51 AM (k8xvx)

135 They assured me that SSM wouldn't affect me.

If I didnt like gay marriage, I didnt have to get married to a guy - they said

but now I'm required to DJ their wedding ?

Posted by: McCool at April 01, 2015 09:51 AM (TQxRy)

136 Yes. George Lucas actually bought the movie. Supposedly he will be re-releasing it with additional scenes and CGI.

Posted by: CharlieBrown'sDildo at April 01, 2015 09:49 AM (Zu3d9)


That's a pretty nasty April Fool's joke. Stop it.

Posted by: physics geek at April 01, 2015 09:51 AM (MT22W)

137 Posted by: Bruce J. at April 01, 2015 09:44 AM (iQIUe)

Gah, that is sad to hear. Fishbourne and Torres play husband and wife roles in Hannibal, are excellent. So it's not like he isn't working...must be a deeper story there, maybe.

Posted by: LizLem at April 01, 2015 09:51 AM (jzdPq)

138 They said Bill's "looking spiffy", so I guess he dressed up for the big day.

IT'S FUNNY BECAUSE HE'S WEARING A SUIT!

Posted by: Ben Rothelisburger at April 01, 2015 09:51 AM (zF6Iw)

139 Hilarious.

Breitbart includes bathroom photos and floor plans to disprove Reid's exercise band story.

lol

http://bit.ly/1EZTr1D

WHY HARRY REID'S HOME EXERCISE ACCIDENT STORY DOES NOT ADD UP

too funny

Posted by: artisanal 'ette at April 01, 2015 09:52 AM (IXrOn)

140 Iranian agreement reached!

Negotiators have a tentative agreement on the rough outline of a possible public statement on the progress they have made so far that would also highlight areas of disagreement, diplomats close to the talks said.

at @ha

hahahaha

Posted by: comrade willow at April 01, 2015 09:52 AM (nqBYe)

141 Yes. George Lucas actually bought the movie. Supposedly he will be re-releasing it with additional scenes and CGI. Mal headshots JarJar every episode.
Posted by: Brother Cavil

Datsa sucks ass boss.

Posted by: Jar Jar is back baby at April 01, 2015 09:52 AM (Spluw)

142 Steinway will come.
Posted by: Arnold Hitler at April 01, 2015 09:44 AM


Depends how well you tickle the ivories, I guess.

Posted by: RedMindBlueState at April 01, 2015 09:52 AM (h4vJk)

143 If we had an opposition party they would defund the EPA and put all of them on the street. And impeachment would not be "off the table".

Posted by: Vic We Have No Party at April 01, 2015 09:52 AM (wlDny)

144
George Lucas' Firefly, now with 400% more wooden acting, ham dialogue, and badly done pathos.

Posted by: lurkingestlurker-Giant Plush Porcupine at April 01, 2015 09:52 AM (k8xvx)

145 Nathan Fillion needs to lose weight. His extra weight has aged him terribly.

Yes, he does.

But he also can, if he will.

At this point, I think any new FireFly would have to be a reboot with a new cast, simply because *everyone* has aged... what? 10 Years?

And they killed Wash.

Posted by: AllenG (DedicatedTenther) - TrueCon at April 01, 2015 09:52 AM (kff5f)

146 Meh. Never gave a shit about Firefly. Yeah, heresy, I know.
Posted by: Zap Rowsdower


We had a cancellation moved Ben's burning up, so we can fit you in for your burning at 2:00 this afternoon.
Posted by: Insomniac



Get him!

Posted by: rickb223 at April 01, 2015 09:53 AM (1OvE7)

147
It still pisses me off the way they are treating this death of Arthur Getty. He was found dead with a large amt of rectal bleeding. A number of life threatening medical conditions could cause that. To release that info so the papers could make a joke of it is revolding.

Posted by: Bruce J. at April 01, 2015 09:53 AM (iQIUe)

148 U.S. private employers added 189,000 jobs last month, below economists'
expectations and the lowest since January 2014, a report by a payrolls
processor showed on Wednesday.






But hey let's ignore how shitty the economy is and the Iran deal and just let's focus on Indiana

Posted by: TheQuietMan at April 01, 2015 09:53 AM (3UGBQ)

149 Today's Rev. Fun cartoon:

http://www.reverendfun.com

Did I ever mention that my father had a idea for an April's Fools Joke? He pretended he had a gun in his pocket and he went to our door and said "Stick 'em up." Problem was-It was the wrong apartment building. The only reason nobody called the police was probably because he had a five year old with him. It's not in a very good section of the state of NJ now. Today he might have been shot.

Don't do stupid practical jokes. ;^)

Posted by: FenelonSpoke at April 01, 2015 09:53 AM (DXzRD)

150 What's this I see on twitter about #Obamastepsdown?

Posted by: Methos at April 01, 2015 09:54 AM (ZbV+0)

151 I'm not 'homophobic' but Mr. Happy has a no crossing swords policy which rule out any gangbangs.

Posted by: Cruzinator at April 01, 2015 09:54 AM (sIhFA)

152 @147

Yeeaah, I didn't need to know about how David Carradine went out either.

Posted by: lurkingestlurker-Giant Plush Porcupine at April 01, 2015 09:54 AM (k8xvx)

153 At this point, I think any new FireFly would have to be a reboot with a new cast, simply because *everyone* has aged... what? 10 Years?

And they killed Wash.

Posted by: AllenG (DedicatedTenther) - TrueCon at April 01, 2015 09:52 AM (kff5f)


Morena and Jewel still look fabulous, but Wash and Shepherd being dead puts a bit of a damper on things.

Posted by: physics geek at April 01, 2015 09:54 AM (MT22W)

154

Which, as a fan, sucks.
Posted by: AllenG (DedicatedTenther) - TrueCon at April 01, 2015 09:47 AM (kff5f)

I didn't do a good job with my irony or whatever, plead lack of coffee. Buffy and Dollhouse are excellent, Dollhouse in particular. The story of Dollhouse was fascinating, and some episodes were very moving, to me anyway. The complaints I have with the series are not with Whedon, but with Network mischief.

Posted by: kraken at April 01, 2015 09:55 AM (5+mPY)

155 Don't do stupid practical jokes. ;^)
Posted by: FenelonSpoke at April 01, 2015 09:53 AM (DXzRD)

Er, yeah. Like those YouTube idiots who go into the hood and steal people's phones, ask if they want to buy a gun, etc.

Posted by: Insomniac at April 01, 2015 09:55 AM (2Ojst)

156
Cruzinator I thinks thats a good policy. Like Highlander, there can only be one

Posted by: ThunderB at April 01, 2015 09:55 AM (zOTsN)

157 Indiana is about to get a double helping of hate.

They prosecuted a woman who induced an abortion at 25 weeks and then killed her child who was born alive.

But you know, ANTI WOMAN CRAZY!!!11!

So, yeah. Expect to her that for the next week or so.

Posted by: Lauren at April 01, 2015 09:55 AM (MYCIw)

158 151 I'm not 'homophobic' but Mr. Happy has a no crossing swords policy which rule out any gangbangs.
Posted by: Cruzinator at April 01, 2015 09:54 AM (sIhFA)

Under the new definitions, that makes you a homophobe.

Posted by: Insomniac at April 01, 2015 09:56 AM (2Ojst)

159 Morena and Jewel still look fabulous, but Wash and Shepherd being dead puts a bit of a damper on things.

They do. And Summer Glau is still teh hawt. But she's a 10 year older teh hawt, and I'm not sure she could bring the innocence that River had back at this point.

So... yeah. Probably another 10 years, at least, before new FireFly, and probably not even then.

Posted by: AllenG (DedicatedTenther) - TrueCon at April 01, 2015 09:56 AM (kff5f)

160
#1 is an April Fools Day joke, right?

Although Adam is apparently persona non grata for a bunch of people because politics...

Posted by: Lea at April 01, 2015 09:56 AM (lIU4e)

161 "Gah, that is sad to hear. Fishbourne and Torres play husband and wife roles in Hannibal, are excellent. So it's not like he isn't working...must be a deeper story there, maybe. Posted by: LizLem at April 01, 2015 09:51 AM (jzdPq)"

I cant think of what it could be. He's worth 20-30 million and Torres is also making good money. Help the old lady with her rent.

Posted by: Bruce J. at April 01, 2015 09:57 AM (iQIUe)

162 Ed Schultz would have to have a shred of dignity left to humiliate himself.

He's MSNBC's carny geek, biting the heads off chickens.

Posted by: Zap Rowsdower at April 01, 2015 09:57 AM (MMC8r)

163 They do. And Summer Glau is still teh hawt. But she's a 10 year older teh hawt, and I'm not sure she could bring the innocence that River had back at this point.

She wouldn't necessarily need it, since she was basically "cured" after the crew went to Miranda and she was able to resolve all the other peoples' thoughts that were embedded in her mind.

Posted by: Insomniac at April 01, 2015 09:57 AM (2Ojst)

164 Or, I guess to be accurate the claim the lefties are making is "Indiana is prosecuting this poor woman who had a miscarriage!"

Which is, you know, complete bullshit, but it won't stop them from saying it.

Also, funny they suddenly care about women who have miscarriages. They were never there for my three.

Posted by: Lauren at April 01, 2015 09:57 AM (MYCIw)

165 The Final Four in Indy will be a shitshow of Code Pinkos, LGBTQ Social Justice Warriors and the rest of the Lefty menagerie of mooks.


Posted by: Lincolntf at April 01, 2015 09:57 AM (2cS/G)

166 >>>>I don't see any of the Gaystapo being set upon by dogs, beaten, or sent to prison.
.
.
.
.Well they are and it is happening all over the place but the government is covering it up. The NYT told me so.

Posted by: Typical Liberal at April 01, 2015 09:57 AM (4oSLk)

167 No lie and no joke, I am thrilled for all the Firefly fans that Netflix bought the rights.
Posted by: alexthechick - Scariest. Evah. at April 01, 2015 09:25 AM (mf5HN)

---------------
Oh, you're going to burn in avery special level of hell.A level that they reserve for child molesters and people who talkat the theater.

Posted by: Shepherd Book at April 01, 2015 09:58 AM (6n332)

168 Also, funny they suddenly care about women who have miscarriages. They were never there for my three.
Posted by: Lauren at April 01, 2015 09:57 AM (MYCIw)

{{{Lauren}}}

Posted by: Insomniac at April 01, 2015 09:58 AM (2Ojst)

169 MSNBC still exists?

Posted by: mrp at April 01, 2015 09:58 AM (JBggj)

170 Firefly: The Next Generation.

Posted by: Colorado Alex at April 01, 2015 09:59 AM (YQ4mh)

171 Best April Fool's joke ever happened years ago when George Plimpton penned an article for Sports Illustrated about a pitching protege that was discovered by the Mets in Nepal. He had never played organized baseball but went to Nepal to become enlightened and somehow learned to throw a fastball at over 110 mph. The guy was about 6'6" and weighed about 100 pounds, total goober.

And millions of us win starved Mets fans bought it hook, line and sinker.

Posted by: JackStraw at April 01, 2015 09:59 AM (g1DWB)

172 I didn't do a good job with my irony or whatever,
plead lack of coffee. Buffy and Dollhouse are excellent, Dollhouse in
particular. The story of Dollhouse was fascinating, and some episodes
were very moving, to me anyway. The complaints I have with the series
are not with Whedon, but with Network mischief.

Posted by: kraken at April 01, 2015 09:55 AM (5+mPY)


Network television is designed to suck. If Dollhouse were made today, it would be on FX, it would run for as long as it wanted, and it would have been great.

Posted by: BurtTC at April 01, 2015 09:59 AM (TOk1P)

173 MSNBC still exists?

According to latest ratings, only theoretically.

Posted by: Zap Rowsdower at April 01, 2015 09:59 AM (MMC8r)

174 I have been tuning out the whole indiana thing. Its the new two minutes of hate, the new Goldstein.

I seriously think thats why the media immdiately ignored the NSA gate crashers. They were two tranny prostitutes who had just robbed a john and stole his car. Which has nothing to do with Indiana but does not advance the narrative.

Actually heard John Fugelsang say yesterday that Bruce Jenner is a hero for trying to make a tv show about his transition. A hero. No, no I dont think so.

All trannies are victims and heroes. Thus says the dogma

Posted by: ThunderB at April 01, 2015 10:00 AM (zOTsN)

175 Ed Schultz Embarrasses Himself


On a nightly basis.

Even by MSNBC's rock-bottom standards, Fat Ed is the pits.

Completely unwatchable. At least Sharpton vs. his Teleprompter is (unintentionally) hilarious. Fat Ed has nothing going for him.

Even Lefties can't stand him, hence his ratings, which, again, are rock bottom even by MSNBC's lower-than-low standards.

Posted by: Citizen X at April 01, 2015 10:00 AM (7ObY1)

176 The "Total War" and "Selma" articles are just outstanding.

Posted by: AmishDude at April 01, 2015 10:01 AM (L2xDv)

177 >>>>I don't see any of the Gaystapo being set upon by dogs, beaten, or sent to prison.

.

.

.

.Well they are and it is happening all over the place but the government is covering it up. The NYT told me so.

Christian bakers are apparently throwing them off tall buildings

Posted by: Another LIV wunderkind at April 01, 2015 10:01 AM (ZbV+0)

178 171Sidd Finch

Posted by: steevy at April 01, 2015 10:01 AM (KETbL)

179 To heck with the Final Four. Watch the Frozen Four. For the hate

Posted by: ThunderB at April 01, 2015 10:01 AM (zOTsN)

180 Eat a whole bag of dicks, BenK, you tease.

Posted by: Tee09 at April 01, 2015 10:01 AM (3enQb)

181 Not getting a cock-shaped wedding cake that shoots icing out the tip when you squeeze the "testicles", from a Christian bakery- is just like being attacked by water cannons and Police dogs in prison!

Posted by: Lugubrious Liberal Lint-Shifter at April 01, 2015 10:01 AM (8xAlA)

182 >>171Sidd Finch

Bingo. It was hilarious once I got over wanting to kick Plimpton in the balls.

Posted by: JackStraw at April 01, 2015 10:02 AM (g1DWB)

183 There is a high probability that Jenner's sex change will go to shit when he finds that his life has not improved. Why would they want to film that? Suicide is so high with males who do this.

Posted by: Bruce J. at April 01, 2015 10:02 AM (iQIUe)

184 I don't see any of the Gaystapo being set upon by dogs, beaten, or sent to prison

Well, the Arab states don't get a lot of play on US television. Local issues, you know.



Posted by: Kindltot at April 01, 2015 10:02 AM (t//F+)

185 They do. And Summer Glau is still teh hawt. But
she's a 10 year older teh hawt, and I'm not sure she could bring the
innocence that River had back at this point.



She wouldn't necessarily need it, since she was basically "cured"
after the crew went to Miranda and she was able to resolve all the other
peoples' thoughts that were embedded in her mind.

Posted by: Insomniac at April 01, 2015 09:57 AM (2Ojst)


Which is pretty much why the show doesn't need a reboot. We can fill in the blanks from here on. The Alliance is going to die a painful death, and she's going to be delivering the arse wupping.

Posted by: BurtTC at April 01, 2015 10:02 AM (TOk1P)

186 Well, the Arab states don't get a lot of play on US television. Local issues, you know.


Is religious freedom, yes?

You still buy my oil?


Posted by: Abdul Mohammed-Mohammed at April 01, 2015 10:03 AM (7ObY1)

187 HE wants them to film. They crave the attention and by they I mean his awful awful family. They would pay per view their own funerals

Posted by: ThunderB at April 01, 2015 10:03 AM (zOTsN)

188 >>Network television is designed to suck. If Dollhouse were made today, it
would be on FX, it would run for as long as it wanted, and it would
have been great.


Or it would be on HBO and include graphic sex scenes of the Dol and john activity.

Posted by: Lizzy at April 01, 2015 10:04 AM (TLTHv)

189 During the time preceding Chelsea's birth, I was not dorking Hillary and therefore, Chelsea is not my child.
Posted by: Webb Hubbell at April 01, 2015 09:25 AM (P330y)


Ya got one thing right, Hubbell: any process capable of producing Chelsea could only be called a "dorking."

Posted by: jwpaine at April 01, 2015 10:04 AM (a3NCX)

190 Five ACC teams entered the Sweet 16 round. Only one is left - duck. Fingers are crossed for an all Big 10 final.

Posted by: mrp at April 01, 2015 10:04 AM (JBggj)

191 Dear America: Stop Pretending To Be Offended By Everything

Real Title: "You Stupid Jews Don't Know When Someone Is Making A Joke."

Well, F that.

It is precisely *that* the jokes are so flippant and unfunny that marks a problem as existing. "Oh, it's funny because it's about Jews!" such jokes say.

If they were funny jokes riffing on Jewish stereotypes- or at least jokes which required some effort- I would be less concerned. It is precisely the fact that such things come without effort and are unfunny that makes me think they say much more about the ones making (and giving passes to) the jokes.

Yes. Americans need to re-find our senses of humor. The grievance industry needs to be stopped. That doesn't make the growing culture of antisemitism okay.

Posted by: AllenG (DedicatedTenther) - TrueCon at April 01, 2015 10:04 AM (kff5f)

192


April Fools' Day: the best (and worst) tech pranks of 2015

Every year, the Telegraph is inundated with terrible April Fools' pranks, pitches and ideas. Here are the best and worst we've seen


http://bit.ly/19CWB2X

Posted by: artisanal 'ette at April 01, 2015 10:04 AM (IXrOn)

193 I love my country

Posted by: Barack Hussein Obama at April 01, 2015 10:05 AM (zOTsN)

194 There is a high probability that Jenner's sex change will go to shit
when he finds that his life has not improved. Why would they want to
film that? Suicide is so high with males who do this.


I think you just answered your own question.

Posted by: typical tv executive at April 01, 2015 10:05 AM (ZbV+0)

195 WHY ISN'T ANYONE TALKING ABOUT JADE HELM 15?!?!?!

Posted by: Joshua at April 01, 2015 10:05 AM (AUZJW)

196 Since Indiana's Republican political class publicly gave the bully their lunch-money yesterday, yeah, I don't expect the drumbeat to end until the next election puts Democrats in.

Posted by: boulder terlit hobo at April 01, 2015 10:05 AM (uYUVu)

197 I know the Firefly reboot was an April Fools joke but Sony is remaking a third Red Dawn starring Adam Baldwin and Kate Upton.

Posted by: Cruzinator at April 01, 2015 10:05 AM (sIhFA)

198


fragrance-pie

Posted by: artisanal 'ette at April 01, 2015 10:06 AM (IXrOn)

199 There's a famed German, ahem...ART film actress named April Stools

Posted by: Citizen X at April 01, 2015 10:06 AM (7ObY1)

200 I feel bad for Bruce Jenner. It's very sad to see someone so obviously mentally ill being used for other's purposes.

I hope he can find peace somehow, but I too imagine that he will probably face a lot of depression after the surgery when he realizes that his mental health issues still remain.

Posted by: Lauren at April 01, 2015 10:06 AM (MYCIw)

201 >>Network television is designed to suck. If Dollhouse were made today, it

would be on FX, it would run for as long as it wanted, and it would

have been great.


Or it would be on HBO and include graphic sex scenes of the Dol and john activity.


Posted by: Lizzy at April 01, 2015 10:04 AM (TLTHv)


Totally not necessary. Eliza and Co. in their various outfits were plenty well all that was needed. And for the ladies, I understand some of the bare-chested dudes were satisfying enough.

Posted by: BurtTC at April 01, 2015 10:06 AM (TOk1P)

202 Oh, you're going to burn in avery special level of hell.A level that they reserve for child molesters and people who talkat the theater.
Posted by: Shepherd Book at April 01, 2015 09:58 AM (6n332)



What the hell, I didn't know it was a joke and I was trying to be the better person and set aside my Whedon hate and be happy for other people.

I've learned my lesson.

Posted by: alexthechick - Scariest. Evah. at April 01, 2015 10:06 AM (mf5HN)

203 Which is pretty much why the show doesn't need a reboot. We can fill in the blanks from here on. The Alliance is going to die a painful death, and she's going to be delivering the arse wupping.

There's a comic book continuation ongoing, but that's neither here nor there. Personally I consider the story well ended with Serenity.

I'm still reserving a spot on my mantle for BenK's head.

Posted by: Brother Cavil, Unrepresented Christian Objectivist at April 01, 2015 10:06 AM (DT3rQ)

204 193 I love my country

Posted by: Barack Hussein Obama at April 01, 2015 10:05 AM (zOTsN)



LOL

Nicely done. Best April Fool's joke I've seen all day.

Posted by: Citizen X at April 01, 2015 10:06 AM (7ObY1)

205 time will tell on this Trevor Noah. All these edgy comics seem very timid about excoriating Islam and muslims

Posted by: ThunderB at April 01, 2015 10:06 AM (zOTsN)

206
188
....
Or it would be on HBO and include graphic sex scenes of the Dol and john activity.
Posted by: Lizzy at April 01, 2015 10:04 AM (TLTHv)

I'm supposed to think that's a terrible thing, ...but

Posted by: kraken at April 01, 2015 10:07 AM (5+mPY)

207 Kansas to become 5th state to allow con carry w/o a permit?
All it needs is gov sig.
May have been signed and I haven't heard.

Posted by: teej at April 01, 2015 10:07 AM (Cel0r)

208 Speaking of not a joke, did y'all see the previews for the movie, Unfriended?

I never laughed so hard in all my life.

Posted by: BurtTC at April 01, 2015 10:07 AM (TOk1P)

209 I feel bad for Bruce Jenner. It's very sad to see someone so obviously mentally ill being used for other's purposes.

Me too. Especially since I was a 16 year old track runner when he won the Olympic decathlon. We all idolized him.

Posted by: Bandersnatch at April 01, 2015 10:07 AM (JtwS4)

210 So, I got my girlfriend and most of you guys today.

It's ok Ben most of us got your girlfriend also.
*don't mess with Firefly*

Posted by: wrg500 at April 01, 2015 10:08 AM (sWgE+)

211


http://www.bing.com/

Posted by: artisanal 'ette at April 01, 2015 10:08 AM (IXrOn)

212 Anybody else think this Trevor Noah fella has an extremely punchable face?

There are articles saying he's hot. Ummm, bullshit.

I'm sorry and I mean no disrespect but he looks like he has downs.

Posted by: RWC - Team BOHICA at April 01, 2015 10:08 AM (fWAjv)

213 There's a comic book continuation ongoing, but
that's neither here nor there. Personally I consider the story well
ended with Serenity.



I'm still reserving a spot on my mantle for BenK's head.

Posted by: Brother Cavil, Unrepresented Christian Objectivist at April 01, 2015 10:06 AM (DT3rQ)


My daughter has read the comic book continuation of Buffy, and from what I've been told... nah. I'm going to just keep it in my head that the show was the end of it, and leave it at that.

Posted by: BurtTC at April 01, 2015 10:09 AM (TOk1P)

214 April Fools' Day: the best (and worst) tech pranks of 2015

The reverse google is odd.

Posted by: toby928(C) at April 01, 2015 10:10 AM (evdj2)

215 I notice the NCAA isn't pulling out of Indy, despite being leading-edge SJW's on every other issue. I guess the logistics trump their principles. I love that UConn won't be going to Indy as a protest against the law. Yeah, no shit, Huskies, also because you lost, you're not needed there, mainly because you lost.

Posted by: Lincolntf at April 01, 2015 10:10 AM (2cS/G)

216 Trevor Noah. I think he is good looking but not very clever, original or funny. He's ok. I think he gets these glowing reviews for the same reason POTUS does. It makes the reviewer feel better about himself

Posted by: ThunderB at April 01, 2015 10:10 AM (zOTsN)

217 How many Jews does it take to change a light bulb?

One. I'm not anti-Semitic .

Posted by: Cruzinator at April 01, 2015 10:10 AM (sIhFA)

218 Today is Sergei Rachmaninov's birthday. Saaaaaaaluuuute!

Posted by: mrp at April 01, 2015 10:11 AM (JBggj)

219 Trevor Noah. I think he is good looking but not
very clever, original or funny. He's ok. I think he gets these glowing
reviews for the same reason POTUS does. It makes the reviewer feel
better about himself

Posted by: ThunderB at April 01, 2015 10:10 AM (zOTsN)


Like the President, he has the exact right skin tone. Mocha is the new black.

Posted by: BurtTC at April 01, 2015 10:11 AM (TOk1P)

220 "There are articles saying he's hot"

It's the Obama phenomena. Guilty white ladies are over compensating by saying "I find this black guy hot!" when he's just...not.

It's ridiculous. There are very attractive black men, and there are very unattractive black men. Just like every other race. Pretending that the unattractive black men are Teh Hot only makes you look like a pathetic race groupie.

As for hot black men, I'll take the Old Spice Guy.

Posted by: Lauren at April 01, 2015 10:12 AM (MYCIw)

221 speaking of light bulbs

half of Turkey lost power day before yesterday and they do not know why

Turkey is a large country geographically

they had to divert flights away from Istanbul to other nations They are wondering if it was an act of cyber terrorism

Posted by: ThunderB at April 01, 2015 10:12 AM (zOTsN)

222 218 Today is Sergei Rachmaninov's birthday. Saaaaaaaluuuute!
Posted by: mrp at April 01, 2015 10:11 AM (JBggj)

You spelled his name right. I think.

Posted by: kraken at April 01, 2015 10:12 AM (5+mPY)

223 Not getting a cock-shaped wedding cake that shoots icing out the tip when you squeeze the "testicles", from a Christian bakery- is just like being attacked by water cannons and Police dogs in prison!
Posted by: Lugubrious Liberal Lint-Shifter at April 01, 2015 10:01 AM (8xAlA)


these guys might have one

New Documentary Features Montreal's Pagan 'Penis Temple'

http://bit.ly/1bPArvH

truthrevolt.org

On Monday, HuffPost Gay Voices highlighted that a new documentary about the male penis, irreverently titled "The Dickumentary," gives extensive coverage of a pagan temple in Montreal and San Francisco that literally worships the male penis.

Posted by: artisanal 'ette at April 01, 2015 10:13 AM (IXrOn)

224
@168
I second your post, Insomniac.

Posted by: lurkingestlurker - Giant Plush Porcupine at April 01, 2015 10:13 AM (k8xvx)

225 So I watched about a minute of Craig Ferguson's replacement host last night - he was explaining how Google works as a joke set up (or maybe endorsement?) while his 3 guests sat there looking bored to death - Matthew Perry and two others from his new show.
Sigh. Ferguson was the only one worth watching.

Posted by: Lizzy at April 01, 2015 10:13 AM (TLTHv)

226 The comic continuation doesn't suck, exactly, but it does kind of try too hard. "Let's bring back Jubal Early! And the operative! Oh and now Kaylee gets her revenge!" ... yeah, uh, that's fanfic, not a continued story, and with hints of BDSM slash too.

Posted by: boulder terlit hobo at April 01, 2015 10:13 AM (uYUVu)

227 The most enjoyable part of the Trevor Noah story is that I don't have to do a damn thing. If I did, then it would be OMG RIGHT WINGARZ ATTACK NOAH, so I just sit back and watch the Left eat their own. I'm surprised it's gone on this long, may be its actually got legs.

Posted by: Zap Rowsdower at April 01, 2015 10:14 AM (MMC8r)

228 Posted by: AllenG (DedicatedTenther) - TrueCon at April 01, 2015 10:04 AM (kff5f)


I'd be less concerned with the "jewish" jokes if her ever told ANY Muslim jokes. Or is he scared he might lose his head?

Posted by: Nevergiveup at April 01, 2015 10:14 AM (/tNwW)

229 I was trying to be the better person and set aside my Whedon hate and be happy for other people.

I know you've explained, but I have limited ability to retain irrational ideas, why the Whedon hate?

Posted by: Bandersnatch at April 01, 2015 10:14 AM (JtwS4)

230 Green Orion Slave Girls - HOT!

Posted by: mrp at April 01, 2015 10:14 AM (JBggj)

231 Alan and Nathan join forces for something... awesome!

http://goo.gl/uAGAtr

Posted by: physics geek at April 01, 2015 10:15 AM (MT22W)

232 Trevor Noah looks like a black Leonardo DiCaprio.

Posted by: toby928(C) at April 01, 2015 10:15 AM (evdj2)

233 I'd be less concerned with the "jewish" jokes if her ever told ANY Muslim jokes. Or is he scared he might lose his head?

Posted by: Nevergiveup at April 01, 2015 10:14 AM (/tNwW)


or is he a muslim?

Posted by: phoenixgirl at April 01, 2015 10:15 AM (u8GsB)

234 Trevor Noah looks like a black Leonardo DiCaprio.
Posted by: toby928(C) at April 01, 2015 10:15 AM (evdj2)

You mean an asshole?

Posted by: Nevergiveup at April 01, 2015 10:15 AM (/tNwW)

235 Istanbul, Ankara (the capital) and Izmir had no power. No trains. Nothing. I pretty sure those are the three largest cities

Posted by: ThunderB at April 01, 2015 10:15 AM (zOTsN)

236 Saw a pic on Fb of Jewel flipping of the camera. The caption read: (something like)

X-Files is coming back?
Thanks Fox!

Posted by: rickb223 at April 01, 2015 10:15 AM (1OvE7)

237 125 "Serenity"

Posted by: mrp at April 01, 2015 09:47 AM (JBggj)

Yes. George Lucas actually bought the movie. Supposedly he will be re-releasing it with additional scenes and CGI.
Posted by: CharlieBrown'sDildo at April 01, 2015 09:49 AM (Zu3d9)

Oh, God, no.

"Meesa be in my bunk!"

Posted by: eman at April 01, 2015 10:16 AM (MQEz6)

238 the oldest person in the world has died.....may she rest in peace.....i'm going to burn for this .....the pictures of her made her look dead before she died..........i denounce myself...

Posted by: phoenixgirl at April 01, 2015 10:16 AM (u8GsB)

239 It's gonna be one of those days. Check out Rd's nood.

Posted by: HH at April 01, 2015 10:17 AM (Ce4DF)

240
During the time preceding Chelsea's birth, I was not dorking Hillary and therefore, Chelsea is not my child.
Posted by: Webb Hubbell at April 01, 2015 09:25 AM (P330y)

________________________________

What difference, at this point, does it make?1/1/1!?1/!?!!?1


Posted by: Hillary Clinton at April 01, 2015 10:17 AM (HSmrB)

241 28
And motherfucker.



You know what, shit like this is why I hate April Fool's Day.





Posted by: alexthechick - Scariest. Evah. at April 01, 2015 09:26 AM (mf5HN)


Joking about Firefly coming back is just mean to us Browncoats :-/

Posted by: redbanzai at April 01, 2015 10:17 AM (5DGKy)

242 Washington Redskins just signed Tim Tebow as a backup QB.

Posted by: joncelli, sensitive guy at April 01, 2015 10:17 AM (RD7QR)

243 >>I'm supposed to think that's a terrible thing, ...but

Nah, it would make more sense to be on HBO, like the True Blood series.

Posted by: Lizzy at April 01, 2015 10:17 AM (TLTHv)

244 I imagine most of these are April fools jokes. That the first link is hidden with tinyurl is a dead giveaway.

Posted by: Buzzion at April 01, 2015 10:18 AM (z/Ubi)

245 One of the recurring themes in the Star Citizen forums is which spaceship most resembles "Serenity".

Posted by: mrp at April 01, 2015 10:18 AM (JBggj)

246 extensive coverage of a pagan temple in Montreal and San Francisco that literally worships the male penis.

And the Pink Mafia thinks the state government of Indiana should be able to shut that down. Huh.

Posted by: HR braucht ein Bier at April 01, 2015 10:19 AM (/kI1Q)

247 Sigh. At least I have the upcoming Evil Dead TV series staring Bruce MF'ing Campbell hizzelf.

Posted by: Brother Cavil, Unrepresented Christian Objectivist at April 01, 2015 10:19 AM (DT3rQ)

248
Yes. George Lucas actually bought the movie. Supposedly he will be re-releasing it with additional scenes and CGI.
Posted by: CharlieBrown'sDildo at April 01, 2015 09:49 AM (Zu3d9)

Oh, God, no.
"Meesa be in my bunk!"
Posted by: eman at April 01, 2015 10:16 AM (MQEz6)



I think Mr. Plinkett has perfectly captured the Essence of Lucas...

Posted by: kraken at April 01, 2015 10:19 AM (5+mPY)

249 half of Turkey lost power day before yesterday and they do not know why


Half of Turkey didn't know that they had power......

Posted by: rickb223 at April 01, 2015 10:19 AM (1OvE7)

250 Dammit. More coffee please.

The Firefly link is a joke.

Dammit dammit dammit

Posted by: RWC - Team BOHICA at April 01, 2015 10:20 AM (fWAjv)

251 I imagine most of these are April fools jokes. That the first link is hidden with tinyurl is a dead giveaway.

Yeah...I kinda knew but...haaaaaaad to look...

Posted by: Brother Cavil, Unrepresented Christian Objectivist at April 01, 2015 10:20 AM (DT3rQ)

252 Half of Turkey didn't know that they had power......
Posted by: rickb223 at April 01, 2015 10:19 AM (1OvE7)


Oh Rim Shot!

Posted by: Nevergiveup at April 01, 2015 10:20 AM (/tNwW)

253 Ben wears blue glves today.

Posted by: eman at April 01, 2015 10:20 AM (MQEz6)

254 I have to meet with my accountant this PM. And that ain't going to be no April Fool's joke since I don't have all the money moo ass says he has

Posted by: Nevergiveup at April 01, 2015 10:21 AM (/tNwW)

255 I know you've explained, but I have limited ability to retain irrational ideas, why the Whedon hate?
Posted by: Bandersnatch at April 01, 2015 10:14 AM (JtwS4)



Here. I'll cross the streams for you.

Obviously, I hate Whedon because he's a seafood chef.

Posted by: alexthechick - Scariest. Evah. at April 01, 2015 10:21 AM (mf5HN)

256 World's Oldest Person, Born In 1898, Died Yesterday

I'd hit it.

Posted by: Zap Rowsdower at April 01, 2015 10:21 AM (MMC8r)

257 Are they trying to remind us how bad the Clinton years were?
Drudge headline: Lew(insky0 to The View.
Please be a joke,

Posted by: Lizzy at April 01, 2015 10:22 AM (TLTHv)

258 rdbrewer to the Barrel?

Posted by: Brother Cavil, Unrepresented Christian Objectivist at April 01, 2015 10:22 AM (DT3rQ)

259 Drudge headline: Lew(insky0 to The View.

She's as qualified as any of them.

Posted by: Zap Rowsdower at April 01, 2015 10:23 AM (MMC8r)

260 258 rdbrewer to the Barrel?
Posted by: Brother Cavil, Unrepresented Christian Objectivist at April 01, 2015 10:22 AM (DT3rQ)

Dang, the comments were epically funny while they lasted.

Posted by: joncelli, sensitive guy at April 01, 2015 10:23 AM (RD7QR)

261 heh

Posted by: eman at April 01, 2015 10:23 AM (MQEz6)

262 Well, that was odd.

Posted by: toby928(C) at April 01, 2015 10:23 AM (evdj2)

263 i got kicked downstairs?

Posted by: phoenixgirl at April 01, 2015 10:24 AM (u8GsB)

264 Posted by: Brother Cavil, Unrepresented Christian Objectivist at April 01, 2015 10:22 AM (DT3rQ)



Looks like it.

Posted by: HH at April 01, 2015 10:24 AM (Ce4DF)

265 time machine. I was in a post. then it moved to the side bar

Posted by: ThunderB at April 01, 2015 10:24 AM (zOTsN)

266 All those comments lost ... like tears .. in .. rain.

Posted by: toby928(C) at April 01, 2015 10:24 AM (evdj2)

267
255 I know you've explained, but I have limited ability to retain irrational ideas, why the Whedon hate?
Posted by: Bandersnatch at April 01, 2015 10:14 AM (JtwS4)


Here. I'll cross the streams for you.

Obviously, I hate Whedon because he's a seafood chef.
Posted by: alexthechick - Scariest. Evah. at April 01, 2015 10:21 AM (mf5HN)

My Queen, sometimes you just speak way over my head... I need to find a shaman to translate.

Posted by: kraken at April 01, 2015 10:24 AM (5+mPY)

268 Are they trying to remind us how bad the Clinton years were?

They keep saying those were the good old days.

Posted by: Bertram Cabot Jr. at April 01, 2015 10:25 AM (W5DcG)

269
i got kicked downstairs?


Next time, wear a cup.

Posted by: Zap Rowsdower at April 01, 2015 10:25 AM (MMC8r)

270 It's only a matter of time before someone buys the rights to Safron : Intergalactic Space Whore.

Posted by: Al Sharpton at April 01, 2015 10:25 AM (Luw9J)

271 Howard Dean: U.S. Should Walk Away from Iran Negotations

http://bit.ly/1NJ7I9G

whatev

Posted by: artisanal 'ette at April 01, 2015 10:25 AM (IXrOn)

272 Well that's good news.



It's tax time and millions of Americans are looking for extra deductions to get the maximum refund possible. Some Americans may be surprised to know that, if they aborted their baby last year, they're eligible for a deduction.

Posted by: RWC - Team BOHICA at April 01, 2015 10:25 AM (fWAjv)

273 My Queen, sometimes you just speak way over my head... I need to find a shaman to translate.

We really need a Rants Index for things like this. Or maybe Ace-o-pedia.

Posted by: Brother Cavil, Unrepresented Christian Objectivist at April 01, 2015 10:26 AM (DT3rQ)

274 "if they aborted their baby last year, they're eligible for a deduction."

The fuck?

Posted by: Lauren at April 01, 2015 10:26 AM (MYCIw)

275 what enemy has Kerry not been smitten with

Posted by: ThunderB at April 01, 2015 10:26 AM (zOTsN)

276 271 Howard Dean: U.S. Should Walk Away from Iran Negotations

http://bit.ly/1NJ7I9G

whatev
Posted by: artisanal 'ette at April 01, 2015 10:25 AM (IXrOn)

When you've lost Screamin' Howard...

Posted by: Insomniac at April 01, 2015 10:26 AM (2Ojst)

277 Drudge headline: Lew(insky0 to The View.
She's as qualified as any of them.


She's as qualified as Barky to be president. She has already mastered sucking off world leaders.

Posted by: rickb223 at April 01, 2015 10:26 AM (1OvE7)

278 My Queen, sometimes you just speak way over my head... I need to find a shaman to translate.
Posted by: kraken at April 01, 2015 10:24 AM (5+mPY)



Heh.

I do not like seafood. Bander does not comprehend this.

I do not like Whedon because hell hath no fury like a fangirl scorned. Bander does not comprehend that either.

Thus, to make it easy for Bander to remember both things, there, I hate Whedon because he's a seafood chef.

Posted by: alexthechick - Scariest. Evah. at April 01, 2015 10:27 AM (mf5HN)

279 Ok, Real Art Thread up.

Posted by: HH at April 01, 2015 10:27 AM (Ce4DF)

280 @ 223


Montreal's "Pagan Penis Temple"??

AKA any adult book store.

Posted by: irongrampa at April 01, 2015 10:27 AM (jeCnD)

281 SharptonSockOFF

Posted by: Garrett at April 01, 2015 10:27 AM (Luw9J)

282 270 It's only a matter of time before someone buys the rights to Safron : Intergalactic Space Whore.

Posted by: Al Sharpton at April 01, 2015 10:25 AM (Luw9J)

Had to search for that. LMAO!

Posted by: RWC - Team BOHICA at April 01, 2015 10:28 AM (fWAjv)

283 WRT Apple's Watch

Couldn't they have done the same in the format of a ring, say? And maybe have it charge up when you touch your phone and say sommat like "In brightest day, in darkest night etc" then they'd have corned the comix geek crowd, tell ya whut

Posted by: Bigby's Powerglove at April 01, 2015 10:28 AM (3ZtZW)

284 Here. I'll cross the streams for you.

Obviously, I hate Whedon because he's a seafood chef.

Posted by: alexthechick - Scariest. Evah. at April 01, 2015 10:21 AM (mf5HN)


I've been a moron since Ace was at his old site, but this comment makes my head hurt. Would the Empress please explain so that my tiny brain can comprehend it?

Posted by: physics geek at April 01, 2015 10:29 AM (MT22W)

285
270 It's only a matter of time before someone buys the rights to Safron : Intergalactic Space Whore.
Posted by: Al Sharpton at April 01, 2015 10:25 AM (Luw9J)

Companion Academy

Posted by: eman at April 01, 2015 10:29 AM (MQEz6)

286 Drudge headline: Lew(insky0 to The View.

She's as qualified as any of them.
Posted by: Zap Rowsdower at April 01, 2015 10:23 AM (MMC8r)


She's like a younger Rosie.

I do like Wawa's purse in the article, however.

Posted by: artisanal 'ette at April 01, 2015 10:30 AM (IXrOn)

287 Ah, I see the explanation which, of all things, reminds me that Miller Time isn't far off. Because my head still hurts.

Posted by: physics geek at April 01, 2015 10:30 AM (MT22W)

288 A medal-throwing serial liar who lied about US military atrocities in a 1971 media circus is now US Secretary of State ...and currently licking the balls of one of the world's most evil regimes.

I am content to shuffle tunes on my IPod.

Posted by: Lugubrious Liberal Lint-Shifter at April 01, 2015 10:33 AM (8xAlA)

289 Let Tim Cook sell the Apple Watch is Saudi Arabia. Hopefully, this dumbf*ck and hislemming companytake a huge bath on this ridiculous product.

Posted by: Bob Ross at April 01, 2015 10:33 AM (hKyl0)

290 BenK,

I swear on my pretty floral bonnet that I will brave Reavers and turn The Verse inside out to find you and kick you square in the nuts for what you've done here.

Posted by: Jaws at April 01, 2015 10:33 AM (WKNX4)

291 Bander does not comprehend this.

This is what they call a standing head. So many applications.

Posted by: Bandersnatch at April 01, 2015 10:34 AM (JtwS4)

292 Apple Watch, What Is It Good For?

It's the hipster douchebag equivalent of a Masonic handshake; a discreet signal to the cognoscenti that you're of the Body and not one of those thoughtcrime undoubleplusgood Jesus freaks.

Posted by: Ben Rothelisburger at April 01, 2015 10:34 AM (zF6Iw)

293 Fuck me. Off, football sock.

Posted by: Mary Poppins' Practically Perfect Piercing at April 01, 2015 10:35 AM (zF6Iw)

294 The Apple Eyepatch is next.

One eye sees as usual the other eye sees an Apple Interface screen.

Posted by: eman at April 01, 2015 10:39 AM (MQEz6)

295 147
It still pisses me off the way they are treating this death of Arthur Getty. He was found dead with a large amt of rectal bleeding. A number of life threatening medical conditions could cause that. To release that info so the papers could make a joke of it is revolding.
Posted by: Bruce J. at April 01, 2015 09:53 AM (iQIUe)
True. They are not ashamed. It's all about headline-clicking.

Posted by: m at April 01, 2015 10:51 AM (WIUGG)

296 259 Drudge headline: Lew(insky0 to The View.

She's as qualified as any of them.
Posted by: Zap Rowsdower at April 01, 2015 10:23 AM (MMC8r)



Remember. She's a victim of what she's had to go through. It's been so hard for her to get a job because of her reputation. I'm so sure that if she hadn't been receiving pearl necklaces from Billy Jeff she would totally have gotten the job by now already.

Posted by: Buzzion at April 01, 2015 10:56 AM (z/Ubi)

297 Remember. She's a victim of what she's had to go through. It's been so hard for her to get a job because of her reputation. I'm so sure that if she hadn't been receiving pearl necklaces from Billy Jeff she would totally have gotten the job by now already.
Posted by: Buzzion

her guilt was blown out of proportion

Posted by: Jar Jar is back baby at April 01, 2015 11:00 AM (Spluw)

298 Good fucking morning everyone.

Posted by: jewells45has a secret at April 01, 2015 11:01 AM (l/N7H)

299 "Netflix Announces That It Has Bought The Rights To Firefly From Fox Studios"

You fargin' sneeeeeaky bastige!!!

Posted by: Roman Maroni at April 01, 2015 11:12 AM (ILfVM)

300 YOU BASTARDS!!! You gave me hope and then ripped it away.

Posted by: BigDamnedHeroes at April 01, 2015 11:22 AM (3ChI5)

301 Clicked the Firefly link immediately.



Remembered it was April Fools a second too late.



Yooooou sonofabitch.

Posted by: SombraStewart at April 01, 2015 09:25 AM (y9wxf)

I fell for it too..."I'm gona barbeque your ass, you sumbitch!"

Posted by: Paladin at April 01, 2015 11:22 AM (E1aoU)

302 Nood.

Posted by: olddog in mo at April 01, 2015 11:43 AM (2vRRd)

303 Anytime I wa to give my blood pressure a good workout I watch Ed Schultz. What an irritating SOB.

Posted by: katya the designated driver at April 01, 2015 12:15 PM (czIfS)

304 Oh, and the Firefly joke was brilliant. Cruel, but brilliant.

Posted by: katya the designated driver at April 01, 2015 12:16 PM (czIfS)

305 Can't believe the gender psychotherapist I hired is giving me pushback on my feeling that male sexuality is predatory and bestial, and I just want to distance myself from it. She's a lesbian for goodness' sake and I hired her precisely because I thought a lesbian would understand me. What is this world coming to when not even a butch lesbian will rubberstamp you sex change?

Posted by: Bruce Jenner at April 01, 2015 12:20 PM (3F6F8)

306
Netflix Announces That It Has Bought The Rights To Firefly From Fox Studios

If I ever kill you, you'll be awake, you'll be facing me, and you'll be armed.

FILL YER HANDS, YOU SONAFBITCH!

Posted by: I R A Darth Aggie at April 01, 2015 01:17 PM (1hM1d)

307 That was entirely too cruel about Firefly.

Posted by: Joseph at April 01, 2015 04:09 PM (m+AK1)

308 That was mean.

Not because it wasn't a fair April Fools joke.

But because on my morning headline reads, I open 7-8 tabs (one for each story), then read them; and had no clue why that youtube video was even open.

I had to sort out why that tab was open.

Posted by: gekkobear at April 01, 2015 04:21 PM (v9FkB)

309 Just FYI, Firefly without the original cast would be like the new Star Trek and new Coke. Suckalicious.

Is anyone else following/donating to Fillion/Tudyk's new internet project ConMan, that will feature an *ahem* cancelled space ship show? I think they raised like 2.5 million in a day and a half, just from fans, hungry for more.

Posted by: BigDamnedHeroes at April 01, 2015 06:45 PM (3ChI5)

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