Revealed: Painter of Official White House Portrait of Bill Clinton Says He Included Monica Lewinsky's Shadow in Portrait, As a Goof

I did not want to write "portrait" twice in one sentence but what are you going to do.

What's done is done. Let's move on.

Aren't we all, in a way, to blame?

Man, that hands-on-hips, hips-bucked-forward is
kind of a giveaway now that it's pointed out

Philadelphia area painter Nelson Shanks cunningly included a shadow over the fireplace cast from a blue dress on a mannequin.
Shanks said painting Clinton was his hardest assignment because "he is probably the most famous liar of all time." So he added the nod to the Lewinsky scandal because it had cast a shadow over Clinton’s presidency.

If you look at the left-hand side of it there’s a mantle in the Oval Office and I put a shadow coming into the painting and it does two things. It actually literally represents a shadow from a blue dress that I had on a mannequin, that I had there while I was painting it, but not when he was there. It is also a bit of a metaphor in that it represents a shadow on the office he held, or on him.

He says Bill and Hillary Clinton are "aware" of the "symbolism" in the painting, and of course hate it.

Posted by: Ace at 12:47 PM

Comments

(Jump to bottom of comments)

1 first?

Posted by: mynewhandle at March 02, 2015 12:48 PM (AkOaV)

2 That dress shadow isn't blue -- it's gold!!!!!

Posted by: zombie at March 02, 2015 12:48 PM (K4YiS)

3 The Crusades!

Posted by: Y-not on her phone at March 02, 2015 12:49 PM (9BRsg)

4 That is some epic trolling right there.

*golf clap*

Posted by: Mikey NTH - The Outrage Outlet requests that whoever ticked off Elsa go and apologize right now! at March 02, 2015 12:49 PM (hLRSq)

5 Also, funny.

Also, who hired him? Does the tax payer pay for these portraits, or the presidents?

Cuz that seems a little... shitty of the guy if Clinton paid for it.

Posted by: mynewhandle at March 02, 2015 12:49 PM (AkOaV)

6 Something I don't understand. I thought congress cut off funds for all those presidential portraits during the sequester wars.

Posted by: Vic at March 02, 2015 12:50 PM (wlDny)

7 Nelson Shanks to be audited in 3...2....1

Posted by: The Commie Press at March 02, 2015 12:50 PM (hKyl0)

8 What's done is done. Let's move on.

Aren't we all, in a way, to blame?

What difference, at this point, does it make?

Posted by: Mikey NTH - The Outrage Outlet requests that whoever ticked off Elsa go and apologize right now! at March 02, 2015 12:50 PM (hLRSq)

9 Or maybe he just had a shadow that didn't mean anything and decided to give it meaning.

Posted by: SH at March 02, 2015 12:51 PM (gmeXX)

10 Feel good story of the day !

Posted by: Spyoeach at March 02, 2015 12:51 PM (/vbEv)

11 I see three shadows. And the one on far left is kneeling.

Posted by: uh huh at March 02, 2015 12:51 PM (pYs3u)

12 You want ballsy? Look up Goya's portrait of the Spanish Royal Family, easily the most unflattering portrait of any royal family at any time anywhere--and this back in a day when royalty could still order the execution of its moreinsubordinate subjects.

Goya rocks.

Posted by: troyriser at March 02, 2015 12:51 PM (f56b1)

13 Wait until you see the Crescent Moon I painted into the my portrait of Imam Obama!

Posted by: Nelson Shanks at March 02, 2015 12:51 PM (hKyl0)

14 He couldn't use the Beast's shadow, would have taken over the painting.

Posted by: maddogg at March 02, 2015 12:51 PM (xWW96)

15 Bill was sweating that there was a shadow of a plane taking him to pedophile island

Posted by: Dr Gorgonzola at March 02, 2015 12:52 PM (e0JlW)

16 Like Bill was ever that thin

Posted by: brak at March 02, 2015 12:52 PM (Tj+s6)

17 Hey, why weren't we included, too?

Posted by: Girls of Pedophile Island at March 02, 2015 12:52 PM (lHHyw)

18 I could use a smoke.

Posted by: flounder at March 02, 2015 12:53 PM (FHh8u)

19 What shadow will our Low Information President have in his official portrait? Reggie? The blind IRS investigator? Mitch McConnell in a bustier?

Posted by: Furious George at March 02, 2015 12:53 PM (UlJ3l)

20
"Man, that hands-on-hips, hips-bucked-forward is
kind of a giveaway now that it's pointed out"

Reminds me of the Henry VIII classic pose of feet wide apart, hands on hip, giant codpiece.

Posted by: Bruce J. at March 02, 2015 12:53 PM (iQIUe)

21 All of us down at the Brattleboro Women's Reproductive Health Choice
Clinic think President Obama should not let that Netanyahoo guys airplane land in Washington. He is troublemaker and does not about presons of color and also supported Bush. If we do this we can show them we hate Bush too and support persons of every color in Iraq and Irann and wherever in the Egypt area.

Posted by: Mary Clogginstein from Brattleboro, VT at March 02, 2015 12:53 PM (Sd++4)

22 Should've just given him the hint of a boner.

Posted by: Lizzy at March 02, 2015 12:53 PM (lHHyw)

23 Troll Level: Obama.

Posted by: alexthechick - Mmm pizza tower at March 02, 2015 12:53 PM (mf5HN)

24 What an asshole this painter is. I totally approve!

Posted by: L, Elle at March 02, 2015 12:53 PM (6J/xZ)

25 Why was the mannequin upright?

Posted by: redsweater at March 02, 2015 12:53 PM (q5JWV)

26 You want ballsy? Look up Goya's portrait of the Spanish Royal Family, easily the most unflattering portrait of any royal family at any time anywhere--and this back in a day when royalty could still order the execution of its moreinsubordinate subjects.

There's also Michaelangelo, who featured the likenesses of a number of Vatican muckety mucks in his Sistene Chapel paintings in rather, um, unflattering ways...

Posted by: @JohnTant at March 02, 2015 12:54 PM (eytER)

27 Ha. Get that man an honorary moron t-shirt.

Posted by: Lauren at March 02, 2015 12:54 PM (MYCIw)

28 Holy crap. My wife's family will be having fits. They adore this guy, and tore into Monica and anyone who dared question him.

Good.

Posted by: Blue Hen at March 02, 2015 12:54 PM (Spluw)

29 Reminiscent of Washington in Washington Crossing the Delaware.

Posted by: dogfish at March 02, 2015 12:54 PM (1vYi0)

30 Posted by: Mary Clogginstein from Brattleboro, VT at March 02, 2015 12:53 PM (Sd++4)

Ah, yes. If Netanyahu is smart, he'll fly commercial.... especially if what the Kuwaiti's are reporting about Obamas threat to Israeli aircraft is true.

Posted by: mynewhandle at March 02, 2015 12:54 PM (AkOaV)

31 Will Biden's portrait be a paint-by-the-numbers job? Crayon on Big Chief Tablet paper?

Posted by: Furious George at March 02, 2015 12:54 PM (UlJ3l)

32 That dress shadow isn't blue -- it's gold!!!!!
Posted by: zombie at March 02, 2015 12:48 PM (K4YiS)

Less filling!

Posted by: Anderson Cooper's Rascal Scooter Brigade at March 02, 2015 12:55 PM (Q819Q)

33 Is this artist a moron, or what?

Pretty gutsy move for someone in the "artistic" community.

Posted by: Boots at March 02, 2015 12:55 PM (l9mF2)

34 giant codpiece.
Posted by: Bruce J. at March 02, 2015 12:53 PM

Not...the Black Russian?!

Posted by: RedMindBlueState at March 02, 2015 12:55 PM (h4vJk)

35 Touche, Mr. Painter.

Posted by: Turd Ferguson at March 02, 2015 12:55 PM (VAsIq)

36 They should hire Jackson Pollack to touch that up.

Posted by: irright at March 02, 2015 12:55 PM (pMGkg)

37 Crayon on Big Chief Tablet paper?

---

Big Chief...the best!

Posted by: Kid from Sandlot at March 02, 2015 12:56 PM (VAsIq)

38
An early morning jogger at Fort Marcy Park discovered Shanks. The body was lying next to a suicide note and the knife that he had repeatedly plunged into the back of his skull.

Posted by: Laurie David's Cervix at March 02, 2015 12:56 PM (kdS6q)

39 Holy crap. My wife's family will be having fits. They adore this guy, and tore into Monica and anyone who dared question him.

Good.
Posted by: Blue Hen at March 02, 2015 12:54 PM (Spluw)

I have this not at all thought through in any possible way theory that the current state of utter bat shit insanity of third wave feminism is public cognitive dissonance over having to support the Kennedys and Clinton all those years.

Posted by: alexthechick - Mmm pizza tower at March 02, 2015 12:56 PM (mf5HN)

40 They should hire Jackson Pollack to touch that up.

*applause*

Posted by: Kid from Sandlot at March 02, 2015 12:56 PM (VAsIq)

41 How long before painting is redone?

So, let me guess the artist got stiffed and decided to do a little payback?

Posted by: Nip Sip at March 02, 2015 12:56 PM (0FSuD)

42 "Symbolism" eh?

Is that what they're calling it these days?

Posted by: BackwardsBoy, who did not vote for this sh1t at March 02, 2015 12:56 PM (0HooB)

43 It's the classic porn position for a standing man getting head. Hand closest to the camera resting on his hip, elbow back, so the arm does not obstruct the view.

Posted by: John P. Squibob at March 02, 2015 12:57 PM (DQZLr)

44 All of us down at the Brattleboro Women's Reproductive Health Choice
Clinic think Bush's painting show have a shadow of a skunk to show the world what he was really like. That way we can show the world we knew Bush was a liar and acheat that hated persons of color in New Orleans.

Posted by: Mary Clogginstein from Brattleboro, VT at March 02, 2015 12:57 PM (Sd++4)

45 What dress?

Posted by: blind investigator at March 02, 2015 12:57 PM (2KB+E)

46 Call a doctor! Guaranteed the schadenboner will last longer than 4 hours!

Posted by: rickb223 at March 02, 2015 12:57 PM (Hmawh)

47 @22 by actual court records, he's 5 1/2". He could have a Falstaff fullstaff and discerning art critics would never notice.

Posted by: Stringer Davis at March 02, 2015 12:57 PM (xq1UY)

48 Will Obama do his own portrait? Because he's that good you know.

Posted by: wrg500 at March 02, 2015 12:58 PM (S+el1)

49 Painting was paid for by you, the taxpayer.

Posted by: Nip Sip at March 02, 2015 12:58 PM (0FSuD)

50 Cuz that seems a little... shitty of the guy if Clinton paid for it.
Posted by: mynewhandle at March 02, 2015 12:49 PM (AkOaV)

I've done a few portrait commissions. Those commissions come with a one-revision rule; that is, the client is entitled to a single revision prior to finalization. Otherwise, I'd be reworking that damn thing every day from here to eternity. As it is, I don't do them any more. The money's good but the work is a grind.

Anyway, if Clinton didn't want any Monica overtones in his portrait, he should've looked more closely.

Posted by: troyriser at March 02, 2015 12:58 PM (f56b1)

51 HAHAHAHA
HAHAHAHA
HAHAHAHA
HAHAHAHA
HAHAHAHA
HAHAHAHA

I needed this today. Thank you artist guy you are awesome!

Posted by: 18-1 at March 02, 2015 12:58 PM (78TbK)

52 RWC...

Will $2.70 per work for you?

http://tinyurl.com/oq8wpel

Posted by: Village Idiot's Apprentice at March 02, 2015 12:58 PM (LQGUr)

53 What's done is done. Let's move on.

Aren't we all, in a way, to blame?

What difference, at this point, does it make?

Isn't this the story of Barack Obama?

Posted by: John P. Squibob at March 02, 2015 12:58 PM (DQZLr)

54 I have this not at all thought through in any possible way theory that the current state of utter bat shit insanity of third wave feminism is public cognitive dissonance over having to support the Kennedys and Clinton all those years.
Posted by: alexthechick - Mmm pizza tower

That might be the case. Sadly, it's worked to help through a brick through the Overton window. I see people blithely post crap about obama wanting a constitutional amendment overturning the SC decision about campaign funding. As if it would pass, and as if it would apply to dems.

The colleges = rape factories is an even worse example.

Posted by: Blue Hen at March 02, 2015 12:59 PM (Spluw)

55 Will Obama do his own portrait? Because he's that good you know.

---

Of course he will!

*ghost painted by Bill Ayers*

Posted by: Turd Ferguson at March 02, 2015 12:59 PM (VAsIq)

56 Seriously, the length of his penis is documented? Did not know that. I learn so many interesting things that I should not know in the comments.

Posted by: L, Elle at March 02, 2015 12:59 PM (6J/xZ)

57 @38

Yeah! Hey, it could happen. Like the guy who committed suicide by beating himself upside the head with a hammer

http://tinyurl.com/p7l2ogn

Posted by: mynewhandle at March 02, 2015 01:00 PM (AkOaV)

58 >>Will Obama do his own portrait? Because he's that good you know.

Somehow I don't think mandatory Obamao portraits in numerous public spaces would be out of the question at this point. Like how Saddam Hussein loved his portrait murals....

Posted by: Lizzy at March 02, 2015 01:00 PM (lHHyw)

59 Maybe the portray of George W. Bush should feature the shadows of all those american soldiers he led to death in Iraq. His portray would show nothing but shadow. How fitting for a Republican president.

Posted by: Mama Revolution at March 02, 2015 01:00 PM (qc92g)

60 Seriously, the length of his penis is documented? Did not know that. I learn so many interesting things that I should not know in the comments.

---

I could tell you some other things you shouldn't know...

Posted by: Bill Clinton at March 02, 2015 01:00 PM (VAsIq)

61 49 Painting was paid for by you, the taxpayer.
Posted by: Nip Sip at March 02, 2015 12:58 PM (0FSuD)

Oh... Well, then well played, Mr artist.

Posted by: mynewhandle at March 02, 2015 01:01 PM (AkOaV)

62 Today is my turn to say inane things that are utterly risible.

Posted by: Mama Revolution at March 02, 2015 01:01 PM (VAsIq)

63 Trolls working a lunch time? Library must have opened early.

Posted by: Nip Sip at March 02, 2015 01:01 PM (0FSuD)

64 Is the urn on the mantle holding Vince Foster's ashes?

Posted by: Super Creepy Rob Lowe at March 02, 2015 01:01 PM (oDCMR)

65 52 RWC...

Will $2.70 per work for you?

http://tinyurl.com/oq8wpel

Posted by: Village Idiot's Apprentice at March 02, 2015 12:58 PM (LQGUr)

*digs in pocket.....lint*

Now if I only had a .50

Posted by: RWC - Team BOHICA at March 02, 2015 01:02 PM (fWAjv)

66 BOOOOOOOOOOSH!

Posted by: Mama Revolution at March 02, 2015 01:02 PM (VAsIq)

67 >>by actual court records, he's 5 1/2". He could have a Falstaff fullstaff and discerning art critics would never notice.

Ugh, TMI! And *that* is Clinton's legacy....

Posted by: Lizzy at March 02, 2015 01:02 PM (lHHyw)

68 Anyway, if Clinton didn't want any Monica overtones in his portrait, he should've looked more closely.

There's only one shadow on there; I got off easy. But enough about my social life in the oval office.........

Posted by: Bubba at March 02, 2015 01:02 PM (Spluw)

69 Please ignore me--menopause has not been kind to me.

Posted by: Mama Revolution at March 02, 2015 01:02 PM (VAsIq)

70 Posted by: Mama Revolution at March 02, 2015 01:00 PM (qc92g)

I think his includes Scotty dogs. And feet.

Posted by: Mikey NTH - The Outrage Outlet requests that whoever ticked off Elsa go and apologize right now! at March 02, 2015 01:02 PM (hLRSq)

71 47 @22 by actual court records, he's 5 1/2". He could have a Falstaff fullstaff and discerning art critics would never notice.
Posted by: Stringer Davis at March 02, 2015 12:57 PM (xq1UY)

You're KIDDING, right?

There cannot possibly be court records with that kind of information in it...

...Can there?

Posted by: mynewhandle at March 02, 2015 01:02 PM (AkOaV)

72 The Shadow ~~Knows~~ Blows.

Posted by: Garrett at March 02, 2015 01:03 PM (66Sda)

73 Nip Sip

45ACP

http://tinyurl.com/kh6u5au

Posted by: Village Idiot's Apprentice at March 02, 2015 01:03 PM (LQGUr)

74 66 BOOOOOOOOOOSH!

Posted by: Mama Revolution at March 02, 2015 01:02 PM (VAsIq)

More of a chest man, myself.

Posted by: Mammary Revolution at March 02, 2015 01:03 PM (q5JWV)

75 Mama Revolution must be pissed that the military loved W while thoroughly despising TFG

Posted by: RWC - Team BOHICA at March 02, 2015 01:03 PM (fWAjv)

76 BOOOOOOOOOOSH!

Posted by: Mama Revolution at March 02, 2015 01:02 PM (VAsIq)

That's pResident Chimpy McHalliBusHitler to you, pal.

Posted by: Mikey NTH - The Outrage Outlet requests that whoever ticked off Elsa go and apologize right now! at March 02, 2015 01:03 PM (hLRSq)

77 Mama, get back in the kitchen and make me a sammich!

Posted by: Papa Revolution at March 02, 2015 01:04 PM (VAsIq)

78 Whatever can be said about Bubba, at least he doesn't hate America and Americans, unlike the current WH occupant.

Posted by: kbdabear at March 02, 2015 01:04 PM (GrXXa)

79 Posted by: Mammary Revolution at March 02, 2015 01:03 PM (q5JWV)

Motorboating. You're doing it wrong.

Posted by: flounder at March 02, 2015 01:04 PM (FHh8u)

80 Objection! Assuming facts not in evidence.

You really think the Clinton's are capable of feeling shame?

Posted by: Nevergiveup at March 02, 2015 01:04 PM (rDqRv)

81 Obama's portrait: golf clubs, dunce cap and if you look closely enough, he may or may not be wearing clothes.

Posted by: Stateless Infidel at March 02, 2015 01:04 PM (AC0lD)

82 >>Mama Revolution must be pissed that the military loved W while thoroughly despising TFG

But not that more soldiers have died under Obama than Bush. Funny that....

Posted by: Lizzy at March 02, 2015 01:04 PM (lHHyw)

83 Anyway, if Clinton didn't want any Monica overtones in his portrait, he should've looked more closely.

Heh heh heh.

Posted by: HR needs cheeseburgers at March 02, 2015 01:04 PM (/kI1Q)

84 They should hire Jackson Pollack to touch that up.
Posted by: irright at March 02, 2015 12:55 PM (pMGkg)

O man,, that is subtle.

Posted by: jwpaine at March 02, 2015 01:04 PM (a3NCX)

85 Obama's official portrait will be a selfie of him golfing.

Posted by: JackStraw at March 02, 2015 01:04 PM (g1DWB)

86 57
Had a friend stabbed 26 times in the back down at Ft. Knox. And the Army called it a suicide.

Posted by: wrg500 at March 02, 2015 01:04 PM (S+el1)

87 77
Mama, get back in the kitchen and make me a sammich!

Posted by: Papa Revolution at March 02, 2015 01:04 PM (VAsIq)

lol

Posted by: flounder at March 02, 2015 01:05 PM (FHh8u)

88 Hi RWC

http://tinyurl.com/ohfn7xx

Anything else?

Posted by: Village Idiot's Apprentice at March 02, 2015 01:05 PM (LQGUr)

89 84 They should hire Jackson Pollack to touch that up.
Posted by: irright at March 02, 2015 12:55 PM (pMGkg)

O man,, that is subtle.
Posted by: jwpaine at March 02, 2015 01:04 PM (a3NCX)

Have they put the painting under a blacklight?

Posted by: Insomniac at March 02, 2015 01:05 PM (2Ojst)

90 >>
There cannot possibly be court records with that kind of

according to records, it has an elbow, too.

Posted by: Garrett at March 02, 2015 01:05 PM (66Sda)

91
So the portrait of Obama will have a white shadow?

i.e. the silhouette of actor Ken Howard!

Posted by: J.J. Sefton at March 02, 2015 01:05 PM (CMkNk)

92 Anyway, if Clinton didn't want any Monica overtones in his portrait, he should've looked more closely.

Or found a partner that swallows

Posted by: Nevergiveup at March 02, 2015 01:05 PM (rDqRv)

93 You want ballsy? Look up Goya's portrait of the Spanish Royal Family, easily the most unflattering portrait of any royal family at any time anywhere--and this back in a day when royalty could still order the execution of its more insubordinate subjects.

Painting here:
http://goo.gl/JroxxQ

Yep. Awesomely bad. The King's brother, Don Pascual, looks insane with intense eyes. Fernando VII (King's first son) is in shadow in the back.

Goya must have liked Maria Luisa because she's the only one whose face looks normal and attractive. (far right, holding the baby).

Posted by: bonhomme at March 02, 2015 01:05 PM (jhqr1)

94 Obama's portrait: golf clubs, dunce cap and if you look closely enough, he may or may not be wearing clothes.

----

Shadow will be Reggie coming from behind...

Posted by: Turd Ferguson at March 02, 2015 01:05 PM (VAsIq)

95 Obama's portrait will be an empty chair.

You don't think he has time to pose with all of that golfing, fundraising, vacationing and ESPN, do you?

Posted by: Lizzy at March 02, 2015 01:05 PM (lHHyw)

96 Barack Obama is a SCOAMT.

Posted by: AllenG (DedicatedTenther) - TrueCon at March 02, 2015 01:06 PM (kff5f)

97 Tacky in more than one way.

Posted by: weft cut-loop at March 02, 2015 01:06 PM (EwP4K)

98 BOOOOOOOOOOSH!

Posted by: Mama Revolution at March 02, 2015 01:02 PM (VAsIq)

Posted by: Turd Ferguson at March 02, 2015 12:55 PM (VAsIq)

Socking again, eh?

Posted by: Mikey NTH - The Outrage Outlet requests that whoever ticked off Elsa go and apologize right now! at March 02, 2015 01:06 PM (hLRSq)

99 So Obama's portrait will have a shadow of Reggie Love in the background and Barry's hips jutting back, correct?

Posted by: brevity at March 02, 2015 01:06 PM (rRBI0)

100 So the portrait of Obama will have a white shadow?

i.e. the silhouette of actor Ken Howard!

Posted by: J.J. Sefton at March 02, 2015 01:05 PM (CMkNk)

I liked that show. Not sure why and for sure would not like it today, but back then it was ok

Posted by: Nevergiveup at March 02, 2015 01:06 PM (rDqRv)

101 Or found a partner that swallows

faster.

Posted by: rickb223 at March 02, 2015 01:06 PM (Hmawh)

102
Not unrelated.

This was a thing this weekend. Photoshopping terrified anime girls into Joe Biden creep photos:

http://tinyurl.com/nxeycnd

Posted by: Laurie David's Cervix at March 02, 2015 01:07 PM (kdS6q)

103 Posted by: Mama Revolution at March 02, 2015 01:00 PM (qc92g)

You're just kind of a one-trick pony, aren't you, alockstep party-line duckspeaking little Untergruppenführer without a single thought of his own.

Now bark like a dog. Speak, boy, speak!

Posted by: troyriser at March 02, 2015 01:07 PM (f56b1)

104 Obama's portrait will be an empty chair.

ValJar

Posted by: wrg500 at March 02, 2015 01:07 PM (S+el1)

105 Anything else?

Posted by: Village Idiot's Apprentice at March 02, 2015 01:05 PM (LQGUr)

Don't happen to have a winning powerball ticket laying around?

Posted by: RWC - Team BOHICA at March 02, 2015 01:07 PM (fWAjv)

106 It would have been a funnier morning if the IRS investigator was making Monica jokes, and the Bill Clinton artist was blind, but oh well

Posted by: mynewhandle at March 02, 2015 01:07 PM (AkOaV)

107 So Obama's portrait will have a shadow of Reggie Love in the background and Barry's hips jutting back, correct?

The Prancing Ponce pose.

Posted by: rickb223 at March 02, 2015 01:07 PM (Hmawh)

108 Whatever let us discuss truly important things.

Sharknado 3 will feature President Mark Cuban, Vice President Ann Coulter and, most importantly, Bo Derek as Tara Reid's mom.

http://bit.ly/18FfCSw

Oh Asylum. I heart you so.

Posted by: alexthechick - Mmm pizza tower at March 02, 2015 01:07 PM (mf5HN)

109 Mikey NTH

#2 puppeteer last week!

Trolls just need to die.

Posted by: Turd Ferguson at March 02, 2015 01:07 PM (VAsIq)

110 @90 Yup. It's in the "Put some ice on that" testimony. A blow by blow account.

Posted by: Stringer Davis at March 02, 2015 01:08 PM (xq1UY)

111 Not unrelated.

This was a thing this weekend. Photoshopping terrified anime girls into Joe Biden creep photos:

http://tinyurl.com/nxeycnd

Posted by: Laurie David's Cervix at March 02, 2015 01:07 PM (kdS6q)

And whoever posted the link to the Hillary photoshop on the FB page deserves a special place in the afterlife.

Posted by: RWC - Team BOHICA at March 02, 2015 01:08 PM (fWAjv)

112 "57
@38

Yeah! Hey, it could happen. Like the guy who committed suicide by beating himself upside the head with a hammer

http://tinyurl.com/p7l2ogn

Posted by: mynewhandle at March 02, 2015 01:00 PM (AkOaV)"

I have read of several guys (or maybe it was several accounts of the same guy) who committed suicide by drilling a hole into his head with a power drill. And the first hole did not do it so he drilled several more until he finally succeeded.

And then there was the guy who walked into a pawn shop in Phoenix and asked them to plug in a power saw to demonstrate that it worked. He then used the saw to cut off his own head.

Posted by: Obnoxious A-Hole at March 02, 2015 01:08 PM (KDbAT)

113 His fingers are pointing to his wiener.

Posted by: Seems Legit at March 02, 2015 01:08 PM (A98Xu)

114 I did not want to write "portrait" twice in one sentence but what are you going to do.

Since the portrait was already the subject of the sentence, you really didn't need to. It would be understood that the reference to the shadow would be reflexive back to the subject, the portrait.

Posted by: Citizen X at March 02, 2015 01:08 PM (7ObY1)

115 That's a rather large dress Bill is holding.

Posted by: Bertram Cabot Jr. at March 02, 2015 01:08 PM (W5DcG)

116 Enjoy the Audit, ArtBoy.

Posted by: Inspector General Stevie Wonder with his eyes closed in the dark at March 02, 2015 01:08 PM (MMC8r)

117 "Don't happen to have a winning powerball ticket laying around?"

How many you want?

Already sold the blind guy three of them.

Posted by: Village Idiot's Apprentice at March 02, 2015 01:09 PM (LQGUr)

118
OT:

Mark Cuban and Ann Coulter will co star in "Sharknado 3"

I. Shit. You. NOT.

hat tip = imdb.com

Posted by: J.J. Sefton at March 02, 2015 01:09 PM (CMkNk)

119 A blow by blow account.
Posted by: Stringer Davis at March 02, 2015 01:08 PM

Which would be an excellent title for a Clinton biography. Or a rock band...

Posted by: RedMindBlueState at March 02, 2015 01:09 PM (h4vJk)

120 HAHAHA!!!

I guess it's Billy's turn now to "suck it".

Posted by: Tex Lovera at March 02, 2015 01:09 PM (wtvvX)

121 Mikey NTH #2 puppeteer last week! Trolls just need to die.
Posted by: Turd Ferguson

I totally dropped off the list. Work does tend to distract one.

Posted by: Blue Hen at March 02, 2015 01:09 PM (Spluw)

122 I got good mail today. Happy Happy Happy

Posted by: Nevergiveup at March 02, 2015 01:09 PM (rDqRv)

123
I did not want to write "portrait" twice in one sentence but what are you going to do.

Synonym?

Posted by: Laurie David's Cervix at March 02, 2015 01:09 PM (kdS6q)

124 Had a friend stabbed 26 times in the back down at Ft. Knox. And the Army called it a suicide.

Suicide by biker club? Similar to suicide by cop but done by insulting a bunch of Bandidos?

Posted by: bonhomme at March 02, 2015 01:10 PM (jhqr1)

125 Romance is in the air

http://tinyurl.com/mqp3ack

Posted by: RWC - Team BOHICA at March 02, 2015 01:10 PM (fWAjv)

126 >>>> A blow by blow account.
Posted by: Stringer Davis at March 02, 2015 01:08 PM (xq1UY)

ISWYDT, lol

Posted by: L, Elle at March 02, 2015 01:10 PM (6J/xZ)

127 >>>Have they put the painting under a blacklight?<<<

That's not varnish you're looking at.

Posted by: Fritz at March 02, 2015 01:10 PM (dVmLD)

128 Will Biden's portrait be a paint-by-the-numbers job? Crayon on Big Chief Tablet paper?

Posted by: Furious George at March 02, 2015 12:54 PM (UlJ3l)

It will have the shadow of a propeller beanie.

Posted by: Berserker-Dragonheads Division at March 02, 2015 01:10 PM (FMbng)

129 Posted by: J.J. Sefton at March 02, 2015 01:09 PM (CMkNk)

You had me a Bo Derek

Posted by: wrg500 at March 02, 2015 01:10 PM (S+el1)

130 'Ode to A Presidential Schlong,' 1998, Larry Flynt Press.

Posted by: Zap Rowsdower at March 02, 2015 01:10 PM (MMC8r)

131 Image is a nice substitute for portrait.

Posted by: john at March 02, 2015 01:10 PM (W1geG)

132 Maybe the portray of George W. Bush should feature the shadows of all thosevirgins he led to death in a volcano in Philadelphia. His portray would show nothing but superego. How fitting for a Republican president.

Posted by: Mama ERG!, who apparently can't spell "portrait" at March 02, 2015 01:10 PM (XMDuf)

133 Impeach him? Disbar him? He don't care.

But make fun of him? Mockingly? Then he gets mad.

#MuntzLaugh

Posted by: Tex Lovera at March 02, 2015 01:11 PM (wtvvX)

134 Posted by: Obnoxious A-Hole at March 02, 2015 01:08 PM (KDbAT)

"Yeah officer, the guy just came in, tried to steal some shit, and you know... next thing we know, we ask him to leave and he plugs in a circular saw and beheads himself. You know how it goes"

"Ah, the old self-beheading by circular saw move..."

Just saying if I were the DA, I'd be double checking the security cameras on that one

Posted by: mynewhandle at March 02, 2015 01:11 PM (AkOaV)

135 Suicide by biker club? Similar to suicide by cop but done by insulting a bunch of Bandidos?

Posted by: bonhomme at March 02, 2015 01:10 PM (jhqr1)
Done on base before pt.

Posted by: wrg500 at March 02, 2015 01:11 PM (S+el1)

136 Boy CNN is freaking out about netanyahus speech

Not about the deal with Iran

About a speech

Posted by: ThunderB, Shapeshifter at March 02, 2015 01:11 PM (zOTsN)

137 You had me a Bo Derek

---

No, *I* had me a Bo Derek.

Posted by: John Derek at March 02, 2015 01:11 PM (VAsIq)

138 Obama's portrait will be an empty chair.

I think I've found it:
http://tinyurl.com/mm5trve

Posted by: Blanco Basura at March 02, 2015 01:11 PM (YEelc)

139 127 >>>Have they put the painting under a blacklight?

That's not varnish you're looking at.
Posted by: Fritz at March 02, 2015 01:10 PM (dVmLD)

That will be Obama's portrait. Painted on black velvet with the panther. Or the dogs playing poker.

Posted by: J.J. Sefton at March 02, 2015 01:11 PM (CMkNk)

140 Portrait, a fancy way of sayin' painted pitcher

Posted by: Misanthropic Humanitarian at March 02, 2015 01:12 PM (l1zOH)

141 138 Obama's portrait will be an empty chair.

I think I've found it:
http://tinyurl.com/mm5trve
Posted by: Blanco Basura at March 02, 2015 01:11 PM (YEelc

Too much color. You need a black & white one.

Posted by: Misanthropic Humanitarian at March 02, 2015 01:12 PM (l1zOH)

142 Holy crap.

Suicide by table saw.

http://tinyurl.com/m4xowjh

(WARNING - There are pictures)

Posted by: RWC - Team BOHICA at March 02, 2015 01:13 PM (fWAjv)

143 122 I got good mail today. Happy Happy Happy

=========================

Your Algerian government check came too? Oh happy day!

Posted by: Hillary! at March 02, 2015 01:13 PM (FCsIb)

144 To quote a movie I like, if you put a black light up to that thing it would look like a Pollack

Posted by: ThunderB, Shapeshifter at March 02, 2015 01:13 PM (zOTsN)

145 So now the MFM will send a crack team of reporters to investigate everything this artist has ever done or said.

Posted by: Northernlurker at March 02, 2015 01:13 PM (XohZJ)

146 Obama's portrait will be an empty
chair.
I think I've found it:
http://tinyurl.com/mm5trve
Posted by: Blanco Basura

Too much color. You need a black & white one.

Um,

Posted by: rickb223 at March 02, 2015 01:14 PM (Hmawh)

147 Posted by: RWC - Team BOHICA at March 02, 2015 01:13 PM (fWAjv)

Why did a pdf just try to download?

Trust me, I don't need to see a pdf of someone destroyed by a table saw.

Posted by: mynewhandle at March 02, 2015 01:14 PM (AkOaV)

148 Boy CNN is freaking out about netanyahus speech Not about the deal with Iran About a speech
Posted by: ThunderB

So much for that whole "speaking truth to power" listening to others, multiculturalism and every other line of crap.

Posted by: Blue Hen at March 02, 2015 01:14 PM (Spluw)

149
Why have official portraits? At one time, we didn't have photography and mass and wide spread reproduction. We all know what the fkers look like and have access to their photo/painting at our fingertips.

Posted by: Bruce J. at March 02, 2015 01:14 PM (iQIUe)

150 Why would they hate it? "It's just sex", I'm reliably informed, absolves the painter and his work of any wrongdoing.

Also, "old news" has a similar effect.

Posted by: t-bird at March 02, 2015 01:15 PM (Lnp4L)

151 Does anyone know who owns the portrait?

Billy Clinton can't reclaim it to get it pulled from the National Portrait Gallery, correct? I'm assuming this is so because the artist says Billy knows about the shadow and hasn't pulled it.

Posted by: bonhomme at March 02, 2015 01:15 PM (jhqr1)

152 Serves 'em right, I didn't get the job.

Posted by: R. Crumb at March 02, 2015 01:15 PM (l3vZN)

153 Why did a pdf just try to download?

Trust me, I don't need to see a pdf of someone destroyed by a table saw.
Posted by: mynewhandle at March 02, 2015 01:14 PM (AkOaV)

It's in PDF format.

Posted by: RWC - Team BOHICA at March 02, 2015 01:15 PM (fWAjv)

154 "122 I got good mail today. Happy Happy Happy
"

Anything to do with a Selection Board?

*Hoping*

Posted by: Village Idiot's Apprentice at March 02, 2015 01:15 PM (LQGUr)

155 Posted by: Bruce J.

Shut up peasant.

Posted by: Your Betters at March 02, 2015 01:16 PM (1vYi0)

156 So much for that whole "speaking truth to power" listening to others, multiculturalism and every other line of crap.

----

It is because of when the Jews launched the Crusades atop shapeshifting High Horses.

Posted by: Vox at March 02, 2015 01:16 PM (VAsIq)

157 I just got a phone call from maybe the single stupidest prospective patient I ever talked to.

Posted by: Nevergiveup at March 02, 2015 01:16 PM (rDqRv)

158
We shd have an AoShq Portrait Painting Competition. We all paint a portrait of ace, with or without paper bag or smily face. Winner will have their painting (oil/acrylic/watercolor) hung in the AoShq Library.

Posted by: Bruce J. at March 02, 2015 01:16 PM (iQIUe)

159 157 I just got a phone call from maybe the single stupidest prospective patient I ever talked to.
Posted by: Nevergiveup at March 02, 2015 01:16 PM (rDqRv)

Did he, by any chance, attempt suicide with a hand tool?

Posted by: mynewhandle at March 02, 2015 01:16 PM (AkOaV)

160
obama's portrait will be entirely shadows

Posted by: kj at March 02, 2015 01:16 PM (lKyWE)

161 This begs out for some "treatment"

Perhaps the shadow of a girl on her knees

Posted by: ThunderB, Shapeshifter at March 02, 2015 01:17 PM (zOTsN)

162 157
I just got a phone call from maybe the single stupidest prospective patient I ever talked to.

Posted by: Nevergiveup at March 02, 2015 01:16 PM (rDqRv)

Hey!

Posted by: Marie Harf's Weird Red Sexface at March 02, 2015 01:17 PM (FHh8u)

163 I'm assuming this is so because the artist says Billy knows about the shadow and hasn't pulled it.

Billy Jeff loves it because it pokes a finger in Hillary's eye.

Posted by: rickb223 at March 02, 2015 01:17 PM (Hmawh)

164 "71
47 @22 by actual court records, he's 5 1/2". He could have a Falstaff fullstaff and discerning art critics would never notice.

Posted by: Stringer Davis at March 02, 2015 12:57 PM (xq1UY)

You're KIDDING, right?

There cannot possibly be court records with that kind of information in it...

...Can there?

Posted by: mynewhandle at March 02, 2015 01:02 PM (AkOaV)"

IIRC 5 1/2" is what Paula Jones testified to. I didn't know that Juanita Broadrick also testified to the same dimension.

Posted by: Obnoxious A-Hole at March 02, 2015 01:17 PM (KDbAT)

165 147 Posted by: RWC - Team BOHICA at March 02, 2015 01:13 PM (fWAjv)

Why did a pdf just try to download?

Trust me, I don't need to see a pdf of someone destroyed by a table saw.
Posted by: mynewhandle at March 02, 2015 01:14 PM (AkOaV)

You too? I don't either.

Posted by: Misanthropic Humanitarian at March 02, 2015 01:17 PM (l1zOH)

166 Why would they hate it? "It's just sex", I'm reliably informed, absolves the painter and his work of any wrongdoing.

It wasn't even that, according to Mr. "It depends on what the meaning of "is" is." He did not have secksual relations with that woman.

Posted by: BackwardsBoy, who did not vote for this sh1t at March 02, 2015 01:17 PM (0HooB)

167 Posted by: Nevergiveup

You work on mouths?

Posted by: The Question? at March 02, 2015 01:17 PM (1vYi0)

168 I just got a phone call from maybe the single stupidest prospective patient I ever talked to.

Let me guess. They want you to surgically implant some healing crystals so they don't have to go to the trouble of holding them?

Posted by: bonhomme at March 02, 2015 01:18 PM (jhqr1)

169
We shd have an AoShq Portrait Painting Competition. We all paint a portrait of ace, with or without paper bag or smily face. Winner will have their painting (oil/acrylic/watercolor) hung in the AoShq Library.

Should it have the shadow of Marco Rubio's garbage can covering it?

Posted by: The Lost Dutchman at March 02, 2015 01:18 PM (XMDuf)

170 Posted by: kj at March 02, 2015 01:16 PM (lKyWE)

Knowing Obama, his portrait will be 10 times bigger than any other previous presidents and will probably partially cover the last 6 presidents when hung on the wall.

Posted by: mynewhandle at March 02, 2015 01:18 PM (AkOaV)

171 Obama's portrait will be an empty chair. ValJar
Posted by: wrg500 at March 02, 2015 01:07 PM (S+el1)

------------------------------------------

If only. Someone should commission something like that. I'd even contribute to the cost. Let it be rotated around in red-state capital building rotundas.

Posted by: Soona at March 02, 2015 01:18 PM (/HX7u)

172 "IIRC 5 1/2" is what Paula Jones testified to. I didn't know that Juanita Broadrick also testified to the same dimension."

Is that Laden, or unladen?

Posted by: Village Idiot's Apprentice at March 02, 2015 01:18 PM (LQGUr)

173 Did he, by any chance, attempt suicide with a hand tool?

Posted by: mynewhandle at March 02, 2015 01:16 PM

Floss noose.

Posted by: RedMindBlueState at March 02, 2015 01:18 PM (h4vJk)

174 We should have an AoShq Portrait Painting Competition. We all paint a portrait of ace, with or without paper bag or smiley face. Winner will have their painting (oil/acrylic/watercolor) hung in the AoShq Library.

----

I like those glitter paintings, but I always wind up eating all the paste.

Posted by: Joey Biden at March 02, 2015 01:19 PM (VAsIq)

175 Shadow or no shadow, that's the gayest pose since Blue Boy.

Posted by: Bob Belcher at March 02, 2015 01:19 PM (glJL/)

176 IIRC 5 1/2" is what Paula Jones testified to. I didn't know that Juanita Broadrick also testified to the same dimension.
Posted by: Obnoxious A-Hole at March 02, 2015 01:17 PM (KDbAT)

Oh for gods sake...

Yuck.

Posted by: mynewhandle at March 02, 2015 01:19 PM (AkOaV)

177 5 1/2" is what Paula Jones testified to.

Quite, I had Hillary thinking that was foot long.

Posted by: Bill Clinton at March 02, 2015 01:19 PM (S+el1)

178 @73 VIA

Thanks, ordered some, but not much of a deal, shipping from MT was $50.

Posted by: Nip Sip at March 02, 2015 01:20 PM (0FSuD)

179 Quite, I had Hillary thinking that was foot long.
Posted by: Bill Clinton at March 02, 2015 01:19 PM (S+el1)

I'm no expert, but messing with dementia patients sounds like elder abuse to me...

Posted by: mynewhandle at March 02, 2015 01:20 PM (AkOaV)

180 Yep. Awesomely bad. The King's brother, Don Pascual, looks insane with
intense eyes. Fernando VII (King's first son) is in shadow in the back.

Goya must have liked Maria Luisa because she's the only one whose
face looks normal and attractive. (far right, holding the baby).

Fernando is in the foreground left, in blue The figure in shadow in the back is Goya himself, notice he's got a large canvass. The woman to Fernando's left with her face turned away was a stand in for Fernando's future wife. Fernando launched a coup and then chased Goya out of the country, so maybe that's why her face was never added.

Posted by: Weirddave at March 02, 2015 01:20 PM (WvS3w)

181 My dentist claimed he'd never seen "Marathon Man."
I flat-out called him a liar. No dentist hasn't seen "Marathon Man."

Suicide by dentist would be awfully like "Law Abiding Citizen" outtakes.

Posted by: Stringer Davis at March 02, 2015 01:20 PM (xq1UY)

182 "IIRC 5 1/2" is what Paula Jones testified to. I didn't know that Juanita Broadrick also testified to the same dimension. "

First black President?

Don't think so.

Posted by: Village Idiot's Apprentice at March 02, 2015 01:21 PM (LQGUr)

183 Billy Jeff loves it because it pokes a finger in Hillary's eye.

I don't think Billy laughs about this one. I forget the interview but someone noteworthy mentioned Monica in an interview a few years after Clinton's term ended and BJ was livid. The reporter noted that BJ's anger didn't subside after a minute or so, it was sustained over a period of several minutes.

Posted by: bonhomme at March 02, 2015 01:21 PM (jhqr1)

184 IIRC 5 1/2" is what Paula Jones testified to. I didn't know that Juanita Broadrick also testified to the same dimension.

Posted by: Obnoxious A-Hole at March 02, 2015 01:17 PM (KDbAT)

"Hey baby, guess who's hung better than Bubba Clinton?"

Posted by: Morons With A New Pickup Line at March 02, 2015 01:21 PM (8hctH)

185 I think some enterprising young reporter should hunt down some of the young ladies from pedo island and see if any of them can confirm or deny the 5 1/2 rumor.

Posted by: mynewhandle at March 02, 2015 01:21 PM (AkOaV)

186 320 million people in this country.

For the love of God can we please find some not named Clinton or Bush to be President? I do not want this goof hanging around in a semi-official capacity again.

Posted by: Circa (Insert Year Here) at March 02, 2015 01:21 PM (659DL)

187 >>Knowing Obama, his portrait will be 10 times bigger than any other
previous presidents and will probably partially cover the last 6
presidents when hung on the wall.

Dang, you're so right:

http://nation.foxnews.com/2013/12/18/ creepiest-obama-story-yet-just-got-creepier

Posted by: Lizzy at March 02, 2015 01:21 PM (lHHyw)

188 If the schlong is long, Ken Starr was wrong!

Posted by: Lincolntf at March 02, 2015 01:22 PM (2cS/G)

189
Ms Jones details what she claims to be the President's "distinguishing characteristics".

These, she is reported to have said, amount to three. His erect penis is about five inches long, has the circumference of a quarter and heads off at an angle, presumably rather like a finger bent at the joint.

Posted by: Laurie David's Cervix at March 02, 2015 01:22 PM (kdS6q)

190 Posted by: Nevergiveup

You work on mouths?
Posted by: The Question? at March 02, 2015 01:17 PM (1vYi0)

She said her "Boyfriend" was swollen and said she live in the town I am in and said she did not know where the hudson river or the GW Bridge was? I am on the fuckin River

Posted by: Nevergiveup at March 02, 2015 01:22 PM (rDqRv)

191 I just got a phone call from maybe the single stupidest prospective patient I ever talked to.

Wants teeth moved "down there" for rape protection?

Posted by: Blanco Basura at March 02, 2015 01:22 PM (YEelc)

192 Quiet, I had Hillary thinking that was foot long.

Posted by: Bill Clinton

----

Well, it's been years since I had to see it. The memory plays tricks in your old age.

Posted by: Hillary(!) at March 02, 2015 01:22 PM (VAsIq)

193 187 >>Knowing Obama, his portrait will be 10 times bigger than any other
previous presidents and will probably partially cover the last 6
presidents when hung on the wall.

Maybe He'll just have himself stuffed and put on permanent display

Posted by: hello, it's Me Donna ....again at March 02, 2015 01:22 PM (Bn6aD)

194 IIRC 5 1/2" is what Paula Jones testified to.

There. Are. FOUR. Inches!

Posted by: Monica at March 02, 2015 01:23 PM (BrQrN)

195 Cuz that seems a little... shitty of the guy if Clinton paid for it.

HA! that's a good one!!... a Clinton actually paying for something out of their own pocket!

Posted by: Paladin at March 02, 2015 01:23 PM (hxLER)

196 I was in the pool!!!

Posted by: Bill Clinton at March 02, 2015 01:23 PM (glJL/)

197 188
If the schlong is long, Ken Starr was wrong!

Posted by: Lincolntf at March 02, 2015 01:22 PM (2cS/G)

If the witness didn't spit, you must acquit.

Posted by: flounder at March 02, 2015 01:23 PM (FHh8u)

198 If his dick is 5 1/2 hard, he would have a hard time screwing the ho's he screwed. They wouldn't know he was screwing them.

Could Monica get that little thing out of his pants?

Surely they are not talking about width?

Posted by: Nip Sip at March 02, 2015 01:23 PM (0FSuD)

199 Posted by: Lizzy at March 02, 2015 01:21 PM (lHHyw)

Yep!

Posted by: mynewhandle at March 02, 2015 01:24 PM (AkOaV)

200 186
Point of clarification. Please be clear of the "goof" you are referring too. Thank you for your assistance.

Posted by: wrg500 at March 02, 2015 01:24 PM (S+el1)

201 Someone may have pointed this out, but this is not the official White House portrait. This is the one that hangs in the National Portrait Gallery.

Posted by: Bob's House of Flannel Shirts and Wallet Chains at March 02, 2015 01:24 PM (vgIRn)

202 Obama's portrait will be done by Banksy.

Posted by: Lincolntf at March 02, 2015 01:24 PM (2cS/G)

203 Point of clarification. Please be clear of the "goof" you are referring too.

TOO MANY TO COUNT.

Man, are we in trouble.

Posted by: Circa (Insert Year Here) at March 02, 2015 01:24 PM (659DL)

204 "Whatever can be said about Bubba, at least he doesn't hate America and Americans, unlike the current WH occupant."

Yeah, he doesn't hate us, where just a bunch of rubes necessary for his own power, wealthand aggrandizement.

Posted by: Ken at March 02, 2015 01:24 PM (LXJ1e)

205 Maybe He'll just have himself stuffed and put on permanent display

----

*grunt* Workin' on it! *grunt*

Posted by: Reggie at March 02, 2015 01:25 PM (VAsIq)

206 What Difference At This Point Does It Make?

Posted by: Hillary at March 02, 2015 01:25 PM (3CczE)

207 Ms Jones details what she claims to be the President's "distinguishing characteristics".

These, she is reported to have said, amount to three. His erect penis is about five inches long, has the circumference of a quarter and heads off at an angle, presumably rather like a finger bent at the joint.

::fishing out a quarter:::

Dayum.

Posted by: @JohnTant at March 02, 2015 01:25 PM (eytER)

208 Surely they are not talking about width?

"So what if it's only two inches long? It's as big around as a beer can."

Posted by: BackwardsBoy, who did not vote for this sh1t at March 02, 2015 01:25 PM (0HooB)

209 Maybe He'll just have himself stuffed

Nope. Chuck Testa.

Posted by: Stringer Davis at March 02, 2015 01:25 PM (xq1UY)

210 She said her "Boyfriend" was swollen and said she live in the town I am in and said she did not know where the hudson river or the GW Bridge was? I am on the fuckin River
Posted by: Nevergiveup at March 02, 2015 01:22 PM (rDqRv)

Her...

...huh?

Posted by: mynewhandle at March 02, 2015 01:25 PM (AkOaV)

211 "Whatever can be said about Bubba, at least he doesn't hate America and Americans, unlike the current WH occupant."

Yeah, he doesn't hate us, where just a bunch of rubes necessary for his own power, wealthand aggrandizement.

That's why I'm so loved. With me you get it all.

Posted by: President Shortpants McFuckstick at March 02, 2015 01:26 PM (BrQrN)

212 I am on the fuckin River
Nevergiveup

You work on a houseboat? Sweet!

Posted by: wrg500 at March 02, 2015 01:26 PM (S+el1)

213 A little over 5 erect and the girth of a quarter

Duuuude. Over compensating. It's all clear now

Posted by: ThunderB, Shapeshifter at March 02, 2015 01:26 PM (zOTsN)

214 Yeah, he doesn't hate us, where just a bunch of rubes necessary for his own power, wealthand aggrandizement.

---

Yeah, a classic politician! Can't we go back to those days?

Posted by: Turd Ferguson at March 02, 2015 01:26 PM (VAsIq)

215 Nope. Chuck Testa.

Posted by: Stringer Davis at March 02, 2015 01:25 PM (xq1UY)
I almost spit coffee on my screen.

Posted by: Country Singer at March 02, 2015 01:26 PM (8hctH)

216 Posted by: Nip Sip at March 02, 2015 01:23 PM (0FSuD)

Shaddup, asshole

Posted by: men everywhere at March 02, 2015 01:26 PM (AkOaV)

217 I am wondering what Mooch's portrait will look like. Rage with bangs?

Posted by: jmel at March 02, 2015 01:26 PM (cfFqn)

218 ::fishing out a quarter:::

Oh good, I'm not the only one.

Posted by: HR needs cheeseburgers at March 02, 2015 01:27 PM (/kI1Q)

219 So much more than I ever wanted to know about Bubba.

Posted by: Lauren at March 02, 2015 01:27 PM (MYCIw)

220 I have tongue like a lizard though.

Posted by: Bill Clinton at March 02, 2015 01:28 PM (glJL/)

221 I am on the fuckin River
Nevergiveup

You work on a houseboat? Sweet!
Posted by: wrg500 at March 02, 2015 01:26 PM (S+el1)

A block away, and up a hill so the flooding never effects me

Posted by: Nevergiveup at March 02, 2015 01:28 PM (rDqRv)

222 A little over 5 erect and the girth of a quarter

Did someone verify that?

Posted by: hello, it's Me Donna ....again at March 02, 2015 01:28 PM (Bn6aD)

223 Speaking of dicks

Wold Blitzer is saying jews hate Netanyahu speaking

And cites Bernie Sanders as an example

Posted by: ThunderB, Shapeshifter at March 02, 2015 01:28 PM (zOTsN)

224 213 A little over 5 erect and the girth of a quarter

...oh...

Well... okay.

Posted by: men everywhere at March 02, 2015 01:28 PM (AkOaV)

225 Michelle's dress will eventually be turned into a Christo installation.

Posted by: Lincolntf at March 02, 2015 01:28 PM (2cS/G)

226 Rage with bangs?
Posted by: jmel
----
Band Name!

Posted by: Turd Ferguson at March 02, 2015 01:28 PM (VAsIq)

227 I can't wait until this winter is over. I'm so ready for spring.

Posted by: Soona at March 02, 2015 01:28 PM (/HX7u)

228 Like many of you, I occasionally fall into the trap of thinking "Buba wasn't so bad compared to you know who." And then I remember the moment in late 1998 when it occurred to me that I hated everyone involved in the Lewinsky thing--everyone. The ultimate responsibility for this was Bubba's, who for some reason thought hitting on his interns was in-bounds.

Never. Again.

Posted by: Circa (Insert Year Here) at March 02, 2015 01:28 PM (659DL)

229 ""Yeah officer, the guy just came in, tried to steal
some shit, and you know... next thing we know, we ask him to leave and
he plugs in a circular saw and beheads himself. You know how it goes"

"Ah, the old self-beheading by circular saw move..."

Just saying if I were the DA, I'd be double checking the security cameras on that one

Posted by: mynewhandle at March 02, 2015 01:11 PM (AkOaV)"

Those guys who ran that place would have been happy to shoot somebody attempting to rob them but the power saw beheading caused them to have to close the place down for a week to clean up the mess.

However, if Youtube had been around in those days they would have told the DA to save himself the trouble of driving down to look at the video.

Posted by: Obnoxious A-Hole at March 02, 2015 01:28 PM (KDbAT)

230 These, she is reported to have said, amount to three. His erect penis is about five inches long, has the circumference of a quarter and heads off at an angle, presumably rather like a finger bent at the joint.

Circumference of a quarter!! Please tell me this is real. That's hilarious!

Seriously, I've always thought talk of peen size was distasteful, (it is), but that's hilarious. Sounds like Billary's in the lowest quintile for peen size.

Posted by: bonhomme at March 02, 2015 01:28 PM (jhqr1)

231 Surely they are not talking about width?

"So what if it's only two inches long? It's as big around as a beer can."
Posted by: BackwardsBoy

So THAT'S why his buddies call him "Plug"!

Posted by: rickb223 at March 02, 2015 01:28 PM (Hmawh)

232 "Whatever can be said about Bubba, at least he doesn't hate America and Americans, unlike the current WH occupant."

Yeah, ask all the people who lost their jobs after that bastard signed NAFTA. Over 40,000 businesses closed in the years immediately following that.

Also, you might want to look up that pic of that SOB signing the Motor Voter Act with both Cloward and Piven standing behind him.

He's a despicable America-hating whore-monger.

Posted by: BackwardsBoy, who did not vote for this sh1t at March 02, 2015 01:29 PM (0HooB)

233 Suck it.

Posted by: Taco Bill at March 02, 2015 01:29 PM (TaO1J)

234 I say it's about the size of a cigar.

Posted by: Monica at March 02, 2015 01:29 PM (glJL/)

235 The average size of an erect member is only 5.5 inches. Just sayin'. It is the distinguishing hook that I find funny.

Posted by: Trunk Monkey at March 02, 2015 01:29 PM (fLKzW)

236
has the circumference of a quarter

::fishing out a quarter:::
Dayum.
Posted by: @JohnTant

*sigh*

I know, I know....

Posted by: Hillary

Posted by: Laurie David's Cervix at March 02, 2015 01:29 PM (kdS6q)

237 Wold Blitzer is saying jews hate Netanyahu speaking

And cites Bernie Sanders as an example

"Wold"--accurate.

Posted by: Circa (Insert Year Here) at March 02, 2015 01:29 PM (659DL)

238 A block away, and up a hill so the flooding never effects me
Posted by: Nevergiveup at March 02, 2015 01:28 PM (rDqRv)

Well that makes more sense.

On the river would indicate you were either Jesus, or had some sort of flotation device.

In the river would have been a problem...

Near the river ... now I get ya!

Posted by: men everywhere at March 02, 2015 01:29 PM (AkOaV)

239 ? I am on the fuckin River
Posted by: Nevergiveup at March 02, 2015 01:22 PM (rDqRv

obviously some one is doing it wrong.

Posted by: Misanthropic Humanitarian at March 02, 2015 01:30 PM (vPh3W)

240 Sorry Lauren. Blame Lizzy. I know I do.
She pushed the sewer grate aside, and a bunch of us dived right in the gutter.
Heh.

Posted by: Stringer Davis at March 02, 2015 01:30 PM (xq1UY)

241 Five (inches) and a quarter (girth)

Duuuddee

Posted by: ThunderB, Shapeshifter at March 02, 2015 01:30 PM (zOTsN)

242 well, how the hell was I supposed to recognize her when she wasn't on her knees?

Posted by: The Great White Snark at March 02, 2015 01:30 PM (XUKZU)

243 "His erect penis is about five inches long, has the circumference of a quarter"

----

No no--I used this one weird trick and gained four inches!

Posted by: Bill Clinton at March 02, 2015 01:30 PM (VAsIq)

244 Michelle's dress will eventually be turned into a Christo installation.

Is it fireproof? Because we may be interested.

Posted by: Circus Vargas at March 02, 2015 01:31 PM (8ZskC)

245
Did someone verify that?
Posted by: hello, it's Me Donna

Go right ahead.

Posted by: Laurie David's Cervix at March 02, 2015 01:31 PM (kdS6q)

246 A little over 5 erect and the girth of a quarter

A small dick's like a disability, man! Would you make fun of a guy in a wheelchair?

Posted by: wrg500 at March 02, 2015 01:31 PM (S+el1)

247 218 ::fishing out a quarter:::

Oh good, I'm not the only one.
Posted by: HR needs cheeseburgers at March 02, 2015 01:27 PM (/kI1Q)

You have a penis of below-average size?

Posted by: Insomniac at March 02, 2015 01:31 PM (2Ojst)

248 The theme song of the Clinton Presidency is Pink Floyd's "Have A Cigar"

http://youtu.be/hMr3KtYUCcI

Posted by: filbert at March 02, 2015 01:31 PM (h6Mpm)

249 I thought five flaccid, about seven erect was the average

Posted by: ThunderB, Shapeshifter at March 02, 2015 01:32 PM (zOTsN)

250 I say it's about the size of a cigar.

Swisher Sweets?

Posted by: rickb223 at March 02, 2015 01:32 PM (Hmawh)

251 >>Sorry Lauren. Blame Lizzy. I know I do.

Hey now, don't blame me for your TMI!
I just said 'hint of a boner'. Considering Clinton's presidency was finally brought down by his inability to control little Bill....

Posted by: Lizzy at March 02, 2015 01:32 PM (lHHyw)

252 Would you make fun of a guy in a wheelchair?

Yes!

Posted by: Wendy Davis at March 02, 2015 01:33 PM (YEelc)

253 I love you all.

Posted by: Lauren at March 02, 2015 01:33 PM (MYCIw)

254 inability to control little Bill....

Sounds like the description all right...

Posted by: hello, it's Me Donna ....again at March 02, 2015 01:33 PM (Bn6aD)

255 Remember that ONT that had the chart with penis size by country

This here is Japanese kind of numbers

Posted by: ThunderB, Shapeshifter at March 02, 2015 01:33 PM (zOTsN)

256 249 I thought five flaccid, about seven erect was the average
Posted by: ThunderB, Shapeshifter at March 02, 2015 01:32 PM (zOTsN)

Er, no. Average American male erection is about 5 1/2 inches.

Posted by: Insomniac at March 02, 2015 01:33 PM (2Ojst)

257 "204
"Whatever can be said about Bubba, at least he doesn't hate America and Americans, unlike the current WH occupant."

Yeah, he doesn't hate us, where just a bunch of rubes necessary for his own power, wealthand aggrandizement.

Posted by: Ken at March 02, 2015 01:24 PM (LXJ1e)"

Sad to state but that was better than the current President who is using all of his considerable power to damage the United States and western civilization.

Posted by: Obnoxious A-Hole at March 02, 2015 01:33 PM (KDbAT)

258
Cite:

http://tinyurl.com/peohw42

You layabouts want it in MLA format too?

Posted by: Laurie David's Cervix at March 02, 2015 01:33 PM (kdS6q)

259 239
? I am on the fuckin River

Posted by: Nevergiveup at March 02, 2015 01:22 PM (rDqRv

obviously some one is doing it wrong.

Posted by: Misanthropic Humanitarian at March 02, 2015 01:30 PM (vPh3W)

Sick bastards!

Posted by: Couch Fucker at March 02, 2015 01:34 PM (FHh8u)

260 249 I thought five flaccid, about seven erect was the average
Posted by: ThunderB, Shapeshifter at March 02, 2015 01:32 PM (zOTsN)

5.5 erect, according to webmd
http://tinyurl.com/knvt2gt

and thats all of the research I will do on said topic.

Posted by: mynewhandle at March 02, 2015 01:34 PM (AkOaV)

261 Never mind then.

Posted by: ThunderB, Shapeshifter at March 02, 2015 01:34 PM (zOTsN)

262 A little over 5 erect and the girth of a quarter

Is wrong for me to feel good about myself right now, REAL good about myself. *sits back and smiles*

Posted by: wrg500 at March 02, 2015 01:34 PM (S+el1)

263 Would you make fun of a guy in a wheelchair?

Stand up, Chuck!

Posted by: Your Crazy Uncle Joe Biden at March 02, 2015 01:35 PM (h6Mpm)

264
Average American male erection is about 5 1/2 inches.
Posted by: Insomniac

Of course dear.

Besides, it was -- nice. And I like to cuddle anyway.

Posted by: Mrs Insomniac

Posted by: Laurie David's Cervix at March 02, 2015 01:35 PM (kdS6q)

265 Photos of the braggarts, or you're smaller than Bill Clinton!

Posted by: Moronettes at March 02, 2015 01:35 PM (VAsIq)

266 The average size of an erect member is only 5.5 inches. Just sayin'. It is the distinguishing hook that I find funny.

Yes, but the average girth is 4.8 inches according to a study by Debby Herbenick, a researcher at Indiana University.

A quarter's circumference is 3.09 inches, putting Billy Jeff at 64% of avg in girth.

Posted by: bonhomme at March 02, 2015 01:35 PM (jhqr1)

267 I think web md is rounding down. Or something.

Posted by: ThunderB, Shapeshifter at March 02, 2015 01:36 PM (zOTsN)

268 This thread is going down like a $5 Tijuana whore.

Posted by: Tijunaa Juan at March 02, 2015 01:36 PM (1BQGO)

269 The old saying , it's not the size of the boat ... Is dead wrong. The bigger the yacht you have the more girls will say that you satisfy them.

Posted by: Bob Belcher at March 02, 2015 01:36 PM (glJL/)

270 Posted by: Laurie David's Cervix at March 02, 2015 01:35 PM (kdS6q)

I'm divorced, so not very funny.

Posted by: Insomniac at March 02, 2015 01:36 PM (2Ojst)

271 President pencil dick

Two bit dick

Posted by: ThunderB, Shapeshifter at March 02, 2015 01:37 PM (zOTsN)

272 the pants are also unzipped in the painting

Posted by: Nelson Shanks at March 02, 2015 01:37 PM (fUjxW)

273 Photos of the braggarts, or you're smaller than Bill Clinton!
Posted by: Moronettes at March 02, 2015 01:35 PM (VAsIq)

Alright, let's nip this in the bud.

ace-- new thread please? It's getting a little out of control down here in the trenches.

Posted by: mynewhandle at March 02, 2015 01:37 PM (AkOaV)

274 I am hung like a Baby!

Posted by: Billy Jeff Clinton at March 02, 2015 01:37 PM (fLKzW)

275 Boom chicka wow wow

Posted by: ThunderB, Shapeshifter at March 02, 2015 01:38 PM (zOTsN)

276 274 I am hung like a Baby!
Posted by: Billy Jeff Clinton at March 02, 2015 01:37 PM (fLKzW)

What, 20 inches long and 8 pounds, 8 ounces?

Posted by: mynewhandle at March 02, 2015 01:38 PM (AkOaV)

277 I am hung like a Baby!

Posted by: Billy Jeff Clinton at March 02, 2015 01:37 PM (fLKzW)

Yes,yes I know.

Posted by: Hillary at March 02, 2015 01:38 PM (S+el1)

278 Alright, let's nip this in the bud.

ace-- new thread please? It's getting a little out of control down here in the trenches.

But this is where I shine!

Posted by: Brett Favre at March 02, 2015 01:38 PM (YEelc)

279 It's getting a little out of control down here in the trenches.

Pffft.

Newbie.

Posted by: Circa (Insert Year Here) at March 02, 2015 01:38 PM (659DL)

280
the average girth is 4.8 inches according to a study by Debby Herbenick, a researcher at Indiana University.
Posted by: bonhomme

Not with her it wouldn't be.

Not bad.

indianapublicmedia.org/profiles/files/2011/03/Debby-Herbenick-Web.jpg

Posted by: Laurie David's Cervix at March 02, 2015 01:38 PM (kdS6q)

281 We're beating Bill's dick to death with this thread.

Posted by: L, Elle at March 02, 2015 01:39 PM (6J/xZ)

282 It's close, but no cigar.

- just the punchline

Posted by: Fritz at March 02, 2015 01:39 PM (dVmLD)

283 oh there is already a new thread. thank god.

Posted by: mynewhandle at March 02, 2015 01:39 PM (AkOaV)

284 "266
The average size of an erect member is only 5.5 inches. Just sayin'. It is the distinguishing hook that I find funny.

Yes, but the average girth is 4.8 inches according to a study by Debby Herbenick, a researcher at Indiana University.

A quarter's circumference is 3.09 inches, putting Billy Jeff at 64% of avg in girth.

Posted by: bonhomme at March 02, 2015 01:35 PM (jhqr1)"

I believe that she said the girth was about that of a roll of quarters. At the time, quarters were usually rolled in a paper tube rather than heat shrink like they are today so there may be some additional diameter to consider.

Posted by: Obnoxious A-Hole at March 02, 2015 01:39 PM (KDbAT)

285 the pants are also unzipped in the painting
Posted by: Nelson Shanks

As the stampede starts back to the top to see.

Posted by: rickb223 at March 02, 2015 01:40 PM (Hmawh)

286 I hear the sound of rulers and measuring tape

Posted by: ThunderB, Shapeshifter at March 02, 2015 01:41 PM (zOTsN)

287 You have a penis of below-average size?

I can't hear you, I have a banana in my ear.

Posted by: HR needs cheeseburgers at March 02, 2015 01:42 PM (/kI1Q)

288 Penis.

Posted by: Ricardo Kill at March 02, 2015 01:49 PM (DmjB0)

289 Does the Clinton portrait hang in the vast right wing of the gallery?

For that matter, does it hang crooked?

Posted by: Furious George at March 02, 2015 01:50 PM (UlJ3l)

290 Are those papers in his other hand or a jiz-rag (Not that Clintons being caught near a roaring fire with a handful of papers would be a surprise).

Posted by: Richard McEnroe at March 02, 2015 01:50 PM (XO6WW)

291 W's portrait seems a bit dull to me.

http://is.gd/SsSPoD

Posted by: toby928(C) is #8 at March 02, 2015 01:51 PM (rwI+c)

292 Worse than the 5 1/2" is the fact that it had the girth of a roll of quarters--according to Gennifer Flowers.

Posted by: JoeF. at March 02, 2015 01:54 PM (/cl2M)

293 Perhaps the painter should have inscribed the names of my friends Clinton got killed in Mogadishu.

Low life, man-whore, molesting douche.

Posted by: Marcus T at March 02, 2015 02:09 PM (GGCsk)

294 Clinton also appears to have some sort of rag or towel in his right hand. What does he need to wipe up? lol

Posted by: wodun at March 02, 2015 02:10 PM (DD0s8)

295 I am officially tired of Bill Clinton. If he decided to convert, enter a Cistercian monastery and we never heard of him again I'm be quite content They don't take monks that old though.

Posted by: FenelonSpoke at March 02, 2015 02:20 PM (DXzRD)

296 Wikipedia shows a different official portrait for Clinton. Here: http://tinyurl.com/kxen6j4

I hope they are wrong and the shadow one hangs in the Whitehouse.

Posted by: adolfo_velasquez at March 02, 2015 02:31 PM (FFIoe)

297 #21, at least you spelled my name right this time, you vile Reich-wing impersonator. Die in a fucking fire, you teatard troll.

Posted by: Mary Cloggenstein from Brattleboro, VT at March 02, 2015 02:37 PM (boHn2)

298 ha. perfect.

Posted by: chemjeff at March 02, 2015 02:41 PM (uOAjL)

299 At this point what difference does it make?

Posted by: Sambo at March 02, 2015 02:44 PM (bskyt)

300 297 #21, at least you spelled my name right this time, you vile Reich-wing impersonator. Die in a fucking fire, you teatard troll.
Posted by: Mary Cloggenstein from Brattleboro, VT at March 02, 2015 02:37 PM (boHn2

To all Marys, stop pissing in your Wheaties. Just add milk.

Posted by: Misanthropic Humanitarian at March 02, 2015 02:45 PM (vPh3W)

301 Michelangelo painted one of the demons in The Last Judgement on the wall of the Sistine chapel with the face of Pope Julius II. Like Bubba or Hildebeast, I'm sure the pope knew about that at the time the portrait was painted. Right.

Posted by: jrg at March 02, 2015 03:09 PM (7M30H)

302 Obama do his own portrait? Because he's that good you know.

-----
Thread winner!

Posted by: Chilling the most at March 02, 2015 03:18 PM (eucWk)

303 It looks like he zipped up his boxers in his zipper in a hurry to me (or tp hanging out the fly).

Speaking of Cankles...do y'all know anyone who has adopted or has a pit-bull mix? My son decided to adopt from a shelter. The doggie seems sweet. My son was told by shelter a lab mix. No way. She looks, to me, to be pit-bull boxer. Three yrs old. I am, of course, concerned about future grandchildren as we have had 1) a great dog, looked like an Akita, but mix of German Shepherd, Huskiy, and Malamute. She got very aggressive and bit our son when he was two and got adopted. 2) Airedale terrier. Who was great with children but, uh, insane and liked the high life of running away, often and with drama, and 3) a pure Golden retriever, who took part of my heart when he died. Now other son has a Golden. Note: I grew up with an Australian shepherd and brothers had mutts: brindle dog, huge, of unknown origin, other mutts, bird dog pointers, red setter, and, last dog of brother's, a mix of blue heel, shepherd and possible coyote.

I KNOW pit bulls have a bad reputation for some. Emma, who we met last night after being with son in his apt for a week, growled but did not show teeth (we were carrying in large baskets and stuff for him, not smart). She settled down and seemed to like me better (but who doesn't?), sat on my foot, showed her belly in submissive style. Adores my son...BUT could she become territorial and a one-man doggie? She is sweet and around 3 yrs old and a stray. But the moment I saw her I thought: pit bull, due to her skull and the way she holds her ears. Sort of semi-scary as I am not used to this breed. She is also not aggressive with son when he removes her food while she is eating. She sweetly got her ball from us strangers and went to her open crate. She is crate trained and house trained and, again, seems sweet. *visions of attack dog dancing in head*

Should any of you morons know about mixed breed pits, please adivse. Thank you.

Tomorrow I am on the wagon train again to find a new home. Crosses fingers, toes and eyes this is the week I can start on path to sort of not Duchess of Alba crazy. xoxo

Posted by: ChristyB now looks like Duchess of Alba at March 02, 2015 03:21 PM (TIGDR)

304 Well, at least we have b. clitton officially framed for his "doing the people's work".

Posted by: Heltau at March 02, 2015 05:11 PM (MXPs3)

305 For Obama, I recommend damnatio memoriae. Give to him what the 19th dynasty gave to Akhenaton and Tutankhaton/amen.

Don't mention his name. Don't paint his portrait. Don't count his acts as lawful. Don't count his legislation as binding. Post his time in office as an interregnal era.

yimakh shemo

Posted by: boulder terlit hobo at March 02, 2015 08:18 PM (AVEe1)

306 and it is such symbolism that separates great art from crap. this is a clever work that says so much. bravo!

Posted by: Mistress Overdone at March 02, 2015 10:40 PM (2/oBD)

307 Egotistical and adulterer. Two strikes. Democrat. Three strikes and you're out!

Posted by: Braden Lynch at March 03, 2015 11:47 PM (Yu9cJ)

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