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"Sniper" To Take Our Fresh Targets in Weekend Deployment

Projected to notch just short of $60 million, which would be the second-best January weekend cume, following its own $93 million debut.

It will obliterate new movies from Jennifer Lopez and, get this, Johnny Depp.

I say "get this" because Johnny Depp is in a major career spin-out. I actually bought the book Don't Point That Thing At Me upon which "Mortdecai" is based, and, while I like the book, the trailers for the movie make it look as if it's not really based much on the book at all.

Posted by: Ace at 05:08 PM




Comments

(Jump to bottom of comments)

1 Long Bows! Long Bows! Long Bows!

Posted by: toby928(C) says Rubber Dingy Rapids, Bro! at January 23, 2015 05:10 PM (evdj2)

2 Don't point that derringer at me

Posted by: firsttimemoron at January 23, 2015 05:10 PM (DfEKU)

3 I liked Depp in 21 Jump Street.

Posted by: Turd Ferguson at January 23, 2015 05:11 PM (VAsIq)

4 My recollection is the book "Don't Point That Thing At Me!" ends with Mordecai hiding in a cave, running out of food, and preparing to shoot it out with the cops.

Imagine my surprise when I discovered there's a second and third book.

Posted by: Oschisms at January 23, 2015 05:12 PM (uqV2n)

5 Mortdecai? Isn't that Mr. Burns'first name?

Posted by: bergerbilder at January 23, 2015 05:12 PM (8MjqI)

6 Johnny Depp strikes me as the kind of guy it might be fun to have over to the house for dinner, but you hope he doesn't stay for dessert.

Posted by: Muldoon, a solid man at January 23, 2015 05:12 PM (NeFrd)

7 to take out .... to take on...?? wut?

Posted by: Norman at January 23, 2015 05:12 PM (CYS6Q)

8 I liked Depp in Top Gun.

Posted by: johnd01 at January 23, 2015 05:13 PM (ukNFU)

9 Yeah mortdecai looks to me like "hey look it's johnny deppbdoing another funny accent while acting weird and having odd facial hair!"

I hope it bombs hard.

Posted by: Buzzion at January 23, 2015 05:13 PM (z/Ubi)

10 Depp and Paltrow

pass

plus Depp is turning into this caricature of himself

foppish and now old. not good

Posted by: ThunderB, Professional Ball Deflator at January 23, 2015 05:13 PM (zOTsN)

11 Don't point that derringer at me
---
Relax. It's not an assault derringer.

Posted by: Turd Ferguson at January 23, 2015 05:13 PM (VAsIq)

12 The Dogs of War are called!!!
Here, corgis!

Posted by: zombie shih tzu at January 23, 2015 05:13 PM (L6/+u)

13 Can't these people spell?

Posted by: Esther at January 23, 2015 05:13 PM (Ua6T/)

14 I'm shocked Hollywood would dead horse a book in order to shoe-horn their goofy-assed ideas into a movie.

Posted by: FDR's Television at January 23, 2015 05:13 PM (ne2fm)

15 Oh and gwyneth Paltrow is in it too. So bonus points in enjoying its failure.

Posted by: Buzzion at January 23, 2015 05:14 PM (z/Ubi)

16 Barack Obama is a SCOAMT.

Posted by: AllenG (DedicatedTenther) - TrueCon at January 23, 2015 05:14 PM (kff5f)

17 I hope they put it on demand because I hate going to the movies. Comcast has some "just released" movies or something. I'll check.

Posted by: Carol at January 23, 2015 05:14 PM (sj3Ax)

18 Don't Point That Thing At Me II: Ouch, You're Hurting My Wrist

Posted by: Dr. Varno at January 23, 2015 05:15 PM (fIv/H)

19 Jennifer Lopez is a sure-fire sell! People will rush to see her films!

Posted by: Ben Affleck, from, like, a while ago at January 23, 2015 05:15 PM (VAsIq)

20 called!!!
Here, corgis!
Posted by: zombie shih tzu at January 23, 2015 05:13 PM (L6/+u)


Cry Nood and let slip the corgis of the horde!

Posted by: Buzzion at January 23, 2015 05:15 PM (z/Ubi)

21 The Modecai movie looks very similar to Jean Dujardin's great OSS 117 movies. Except it looks awful. Dep is manic, no charm.

Posted by: Lizzy at January 23, 2015 05:15 PM (ABcz/)

22 I say "get this" because Johnny Depp is in a major career spin-out.

Probably largely because he refuses to stop playing Cpt. Jack Sparrow.

We get it, Johnny, you can do cooky semi-effeminate characters. Great.

What else can you do?

Posted by: AllenG (DedicatedTenther) - TrueCon at January 23, 2015 05:15 PM (kff5f)

23

Hmmm, maybe we need to go see it this weekend.

Posted by: artisanal 'ette at January 23, 2015 05:15 PM (IXrOn)

24
this is not the longbow post

Posted by: Soothsayer of The Righteous And Harmonious Fists at January 23, 2015 05:16 PM (uEuCw)

25 5 Mortdecai? Isn't that Mr. Burns'first name?

Posted by: bergerbilder at January 23, 2015 05:12 PM (8MjqI)

Mr Burns first name is Montgomery

"Only a moron wouldn't cast his vote for Monty Burns!"

Posted by: kbdabear at January 23, 2015 05:16 PM (GrXXa)

26 Or should we say, Johnny DERP? Huh? Huh?

Posted by: Turd Ferguson at January 23, 2015 05:16 PM (VAsIq)

27 this is not the longbow post

Your powers of observation are astonishing.

Posted by: toby928(C) says Rubber Dingy Rapids, Bro! at January 23, 2015 05:16 PM (evdj2)

28 Sidebar: I don't think unrestricted word warfare between Obama & Netanyahu will end well for TFG.

Posted by: FDR's Television at January 23, 2015 05:16 PM (ne2fm)

29 >>> Oh and gwyneth Paltrow is in it too.

I loved her in Contagion.

Posted by: fluffy at January 23, 2015 05:16 PM (Ua6T/)

30 it's looks like


*Tusk spoiler*

he was practicing in Tusk for this role here in Morderciiaa.

1. So what? I can imagine that any person in PR can see the ads for the movie and see they suck.

2. What about Sniper? Do we get an Ace movie review?

Posted by: joe-impeachin44 at January 23, 2015 05:16 PM (9brB7)

31 I can't remember the last I went to see a movie. 7 or 8 years ago, maybe.

Posted by: dantesed at January 23, 2015 05:16 PM (88xKn)

32
I liked Depp as the lead in "The Brian Dennehy Story".

Posted by: Guy Mohawk at January 23, 2015 05:16 PM (Qs8ZN)

33

But will it obliterate Rambo: Last Blood?

we shall see
we shall see

Posted by: artisanal 'ette at January 23, 2015 05:17 PM (IXrOn)

34 the Lopez movie, like isn't the plot where she sleeps with her hot new neighbor and discovers he's her high school kids friend and he turns in to a crazed stalker

Posted by: ThunderB, Professional Ball Deflator at January 23, 2015 05:17 PM (zOTsN)

35 I loved her in Contagion.

Posted by: fluffy at January 23, 2015 05:16 PM (Ua6T/)


Never saw it. Let me guess: she dies.

Posted by: AllenG (DedicatedTenther) - TrueCon at January 23, 2015 05:17 PM (kff5f)

36 "Very nice meeting you Mr. Depp. No, really, we must make an early evening of it, work in the a.m., what. No, no, I don't believe you do smell brownies. G'night now!"

Posted by: Muldoon, a solid man at January 23, 2015 05:17 PM (NeFrd)

37 At least there's someone who wants Western snipers to kill terrorists even if it's not Michael Moore. See da sock.

Posted by: andycanuck at January 23, 2015 05:17 PM (L6/+u)

38
I'm just so sick of the same people being in all the movies.

The A-list is, what, 20 people??

Give other people a chance, eh?

Posted by: Soothsayer of The Righteous And Harmonious Fists at January 23, 2015 05:18 PM (uEuCw)

39 I'll wait and watch American Sniper on my new tv.

Oh, and Johnny Depp. I like him when he's playing a more serious role, without the spaz.

Posted by: Soona at January 23, 2015 05:18 PM (qbgxo)

40 what good movie has Lopez ever been in

like ever

ok maybe the first one with Clooney

otherwise its all suck

Posted by: ThunderB, Professional Ball Deflator at January 23, 2015 05:18 PM (zOTsN)

41 >>> Let me guess: she dies.

Patient zero. They kept flashing back, unfortunately.

Posted by: fluffy at January 23, 2015 05:19 PM (Ua6T/)

42

I loooovveed Gwyneth Paltrow in...

nothing.

Posted by: artisanal 'ette at January 23, 2015 05:19 PM (IXrOn)

43

woohoo movie post

Posted by: artisanal 'ette at January 23, 2015 05:19 PM (IXrOn)

44 American Sniper is not here on demand. Some movies are $9.99 & The Interview is only $2.99 for SD & & $3.99 for HD.

I wouldn't pay to see it.

Posted by: Carol at January 23, 2015 05:19 PM (sj3Ax)

45 So what says the Horde about this Jupiter Ascending movie with Sean "Guy who Dies in the 2nd Act" Bean?

I can't tell if it's just basic Sci-Fi action fare, or if it's trying to Say Something.

If the former, I'd probably like it.
If the latter, I'll skip it.

Posted by: AllenG (DedicatedTenther) - TrueCon at January 23, 2015 05:20 PM (kff5f)

46 Depp was all hype to begin with so a spin out is understandable.

Posted by: Vic at January 23, 2015 05:20 PM (wlDny)

47 The last movies I saw were 300 and Master and Commander. I can't recall the ones previous to those.

Posted by: andycanuck at January 23, 2015 05:20 PM (L6/+u)

48 I do want to see Sniper though. I have heard nothing but good about it.

Posted by: Vic at January 23, 2015 05:20 PM (wlDny)

49 I'll wait and watch American Sniper on my new tv.

Oh, and Johnny Depp. I like him when he's playing a more serious role, without the spaz.
Posted by: Soona at January 23, 2015 05:18 PM (qbgxo)


That's what we were going to do, but...
then it's free. I should throw some $'s at it.

Posted by: artisanal 'ette at January 23, 2015 05:20 PM (IXrOn)

50 It must gall the hollywood liberal elites that Sniper is destroying all comers at the box office.

Maybe patriotism isn't so easy to stamp out after all....

Posted by: Tex Lovera at January 23, 2015 05:21 PM (wtvvX)

51

Depp does the kiddie thing for his kids I think.
That's okay.

I don't know what happened to him otherwise.

Not exactly a Jim Carey.

Maybe the divorce.

Posted by: artisanal 'ette at January 23, 2015 05:21 PM (IXrOn)

52 I like way more Keanu Reeves movies than I have Johnny Depp Movies. Of course I'm not the biggest fan of Tim Burton so that's half his movies there. e/

Posted by: Bob Belcher at January 23, 2015 05:21 PM (3jmxp)

53 Depp was all hype to begin with so a spin out is understandable.

I don't know that that's true.

Overrated? Certainly.
"All hype?" Nah.

Jack Sparrow was genuinely good.

And when he can be serious for 5 minutes, he's not a bad actor.

The problem is that ever since Pirates of the Caribbean, he hasn't done anything *except* play Cpt. Jack.

Posted by: AllenG (DedicatedTenther) - TrueCon at January 23, 2015 05:22 PM (kff5f)

54 >>>> I actually bought the book Don't Point That Thing At Me

RINO!!!

Posted by: L, elle at January 23, 2015 05:22 PM (wwx67)

55 >>>Jupiter Ascending

Made by the people who did The Matrix movies, which I didn't care for. At all. YMMV.

Posted by: Turd Ferguson at January 23, 2015 05:22 PM (VAsIq)

56 **whispers**

"Shhh. Keep the lights turned off, honey. He's still out there, just pacing up and down the driveway gesticulating like Jack Sparrow, talking to himself. Yeah, I know it's almost midnight. I don't think we can risk eating the brownies right now, he might smell them. Shhhh."

Posted by: Muldoon, a solid man at January 23, 2015 05:22 PM (NeFrd)

57 Gwennie Paltrow was o.k. in "Emma" maybe because she played a stuck up woman who wants to organize everyone's life.

Posted by: FenelonSpoke at January 23, 2015 05:23 PM (DXzRD)

58 Made by the people who did The Matrix movies, which I didn't care for. At all.

I liked 'em.

Well, except for the last one. The first 2 were good, but the last one seemed forced to me.

Posted by: AllenG (DedicatedTenther) - TrueCon at January 23, 2015 05:23 PM (kff5f)

59 I have not gone to see a movie in a theater since Star Wars Episode II.

Hollywood can suck my inflated balls (American Sniper notwithstanding)

Posted by: Tex Lovera at January 23, 2015 05:23 PM (wtvvX)

60 "Jack Sparrow was genuinely good. "


Agree for the first movie or two but damn has that whole thing just been beaten to death.

Posted by: Ricardo Kill at January 23, 2015 05:25 PM (AbFmZ)

61 Sniper vs Depp, isn't even close to longbows vs crossbows. Longbows vs slingers with wicker shields, maybe.

Posted by: Jean at January 23, 2015 05:25 PM (TETYm)

62 Depp movies I liked.

Donnie Brasco
Benny and June
Pirates of the Caribbean (first one) he got gayer as they progressed

Posted by: Bob Belcher at January 23, 2015 05:25 PM (3jmxp)

63 I overact in every movie and few notice. Hell, I'm just a hick who got a few breaks.

Posted by: Johnny Derp at January 23, 2015 05:25 PM (5voqw)

64 I haven't seen Depp's Captain Jack movie. Probably will not see it.

Posted by: Vic at January 23, 2015 05:25 PM (wlDny)

65
I'll bet a half decent film student could edit out Gwyneth Paltrow in all her roles and the movies would improve.

Same goes for Morgan Freeman.

There are so many actors today whose roles are totes superfluous.

Posted by: Soothsayer of The Righteous And Harmonious Fists at January 23, 2015 05:25 PM (uEuCw)

66 " I have not gone to see a movie in a theater since Star Wars Episode II."



I am truly sorry.

Posted by: Ricardo Kill at January 23, 2015 05:25 PM (AbFmZ)

67 Agree for the first movie or two but damn has that whole thing just been beaten to death.

Yeah, that was basically my point.

By the 3rd movie, that crap had gotten old.

And he doesn't just play Cpt Jack for those movies- it seems like its the only character he plays anymore. Almost as if the credits should read "Jack Sparrow as Tanto" or whatever.

Posted by: AllenG (DedicatedTenther) - TrueCon at January 23, 2015 05:26 PM (kff5f)

68 Depp does a British Clouseau.

Posted by: Squirrel at January 23, 2015 05:26 PM (Cfzj6)

69 As for the Matrix, the first one was good and a genuine new idea for a change. The next two blew chunks.

Posted by: Vic at January 23, 2015 05:26 PM (wlDny)

70 25 5 Mortdecai? Isn't that Mr. Burns'first name?

Posted by: bergerbilder at January 23, 2015 05:12 PM (8MjqI)

Mr Burns first name is Montgomery

"Only a moron wouldn't cast his vote for Monty Burns!"

Posted by: kbdabear at January 23, 2015 05:16 PM (GrXXa)


Actually, it's Charles. Montgomery (Monty) is his middle name.

(if only I retained useful information...)

Posted by: No One of Consequence at January 23, 2015 05:27 PM (b0LbM)

71 I went into Sniper expecting the kind of harrowing experience Saving Pr. Ryan was, with its vivid characters, and found A.S. deficient in that quality. Whats-his-face died in surgery? Oh, that was supposed to be devastating.

Posted by: Raw monger at January 23, 2015 05:27 PM (FGEvF)

72 >.I like way more Keanu Reeves movies than I have Johnny Depp Movies.

Heh, me, too.
Keanu knows his, uh, strengths and sticks to films that cater to them. Depp is just....weird and (now) bloated. That movie "The Tourist" was so, so bad,

Posted by: Lizzy at January 23, 2015 05:28 PM (ABcz/)

73 American Sniper is playing at the church I go to. I could maybe stick around after the benediction and see it, but I'm afraid it would be too intense for me. I'll have my kids see it and report back whether I should go or not.

Posted by: grammie winger, watching the fig tree at January 23, 2015 05:28 PM (dFi94)

74

We watched

Foxcatcher - truly bizarre yet gripping
Her, which was weird.
Nebraska, good
The Equalizer, okay, Denzel's old for Action
Alan Partride (I laughed a lot - stupid funny)

don't remember, these are recent

We want to see The Grand Budapest Hotel.


Posted by: artisanal 'ette at January 23, 2015 05:28 PM (IXrOn)

75 Depp was great in Beetlejuice, even better in Edward Scissorhands.

Posted by: AnonymousDrivel at January 23, 2015 05:28 PM (1CroS)

76 "Depp does a British Clouseau."


That is exactly the thought I had. I have no idea who "Moredecai" is what books he's from so no reference point.

Posted by: Ricardo Kill at January 23, 2015 05:28 PM (AbFmZ)

77 Are the Left trying to drum up business for Sniper? Having tubby man-boobed Progs attack and mock it seems like almost ideal advertising for the film.

Posted by: Costanza Defense at January 23, 2015 05:29 PM (ZPrif)

78 D*mn.

Apparently that *was* Daddy Warpig earlier. And it seems I might have scared him off...

Posted by: AllenG (DedicatedTenther) - TrueCon at January 23, 2015 05:30 PM (kff5f)

79 The problem is that ever since Pirates of the Caribbean, he hasn't done anything *except* play Cpt. Jack.
Posted by: AllenG (DedicatedTenther) - TrueCon at January 23, 2015 05:22 PM


Yep. It's like watching Samuel L. Jackson playing Samuel L. Jackson in every freakin' movie.

Posted by: RedMindBlueState at January 23, 2015 05:30 PM (knoK7)

80 >>As for the Matrix, the first one was good and a genuine new idea for a change. The next two blew chunks.

Next two....?I have no idea what you're talking about. There was only one Matrix movie. You cannot convince me there were any sequels.

Posted by: Lizzy at January 23, 2015 05:30 PM (ABcz/)

81 American Sniper is playing at the church I go to. I could maybe stick around after the benediction and see it, but I'm afraid it would be too intense for me. I'll have my kids see it and report back whether I should go or not.
Posted by: grammie winger, watching the fig tree at January 23, 2015 05:28 PM (dFi94)



same here
I think I would fall apart.

every time I see my dad with one of his navy caps on, I break down now

Posted by: artisanal 'ette at January 23, 2015 05:30 PM (IXrOn)

82 40
what good movie has Lopez ever been in



like ever



ok maybe the first one with Clooney



otherwise its all suck

Posted by: ThunderB, Professional Ball Deflator at January 23, 2015 05:18 PM (zOTsN)

I know a lot of Morons don't like Nick Cage but I liked the movie Ghost Rider and Lopez was OK in that movie.

Posted by: Vic at January 23, 2015 05:30 PM (wlDny)

83 Edward Scissorhands.


****


Topiary was a much better hobby for him than say, baby seal juggling.

Posted by: Muldoon, a solid man at January 23, 2015 05:30 PM (NeFrd)

84 Star Wars Episode II is by far the best of all Star Wars movies. "Your skin is so soft, not like the sand in your vajayjay." George Lucas only got better as he went along.

Posted by: Millenial at January 23, 2015 05:30 PM (VAsIq)

85 Don't Point That Thing at Me III: How to Look Like a Real
Pirate.

Posted by: Hairy Reed at January 23, 2015 05:30 PM (8MjqI)

86 Depp was great in Beetlejuice, even better in Edward Scissorhands.

I don't even remember him from Beetlejuice.

I liked Scissorhands when I was younger, but I tried to watch it recently and just found it execrable.

Posted by: AllenG (DedicatedTenther) - TrueCon at January 23, 2015 05:31 PM (kff5f)

87 I can't help but think of Fear and Loathing when I think of Depp. Too. Much. Weird.

Posted by: dudenolongerinsantacruz at January 23, 2015 05:31 PM (PGXA8)

88

Saving Ryan's Privates was stupid.

Posted by: Soothsayer of The Righteous And Harmonious Fists at January 23, 2015 05:31 PM (uEuCw)

89
Ref Mortdecai

It has Olivia Munn. shut up.

Posted by: Arthur at January 23, 2015 05:31 PM (h53OH)

90 Saw AS last night. Powerful.

Posted by: west at January 23, 2015 05:31 PM (1Rgee)

91 I cast Johnny in 'Platoon'. Told him to stay in the background and be quiet. The result: best perf ever!

Posted by: Oliver Stone at January 23, 2015 05:32 PM (5voqw)

92 >>>> 29 >>> Oh and gwyneth Paltrow is in it too.

I loved her in Contagion.
Posted by: fluffy at January 23, 2015 05:16 PM (Ua6T/)

Her performance in Seven deserved an Oscar.

Posted by: L, elle at January 23, 2015 05:32 PM (wwx67)

93 I like Mordecai and Rigby from Regular Show.

Posted by: mugiwara at January 23, 2015 05:32 PM (06U11)

94 The best part of Keanu Reeves is his wide range, wildly emotive face, and insightful, extensive monologues. Nobody does a mannequin better.

Posted by: AnonymousDrivel at January 23, 2015 05:32 PM (1CroS)

95 Foxcatcher was filled with bullshit, massively changed reality to create a story mocking 80s Republicans as closeted gays waving their guns and tanks around in a desperate, pathetic attempt to hide their homosexuality.

The guy had paranoid schizophrenia, that's all. There was not lesson of Reagan Republicanism to be drawn.

The movie also lied about the time line, the actual events happened in the 90s, not the 80s.

Foxcatcher was all sorts of bullshit. Well done. But manipulative and lying.

Posted by: Costanza Defense at January 23, 2015 05:32 PM (ZPrif)

96 I like way more Keanu Reeves movies than I have Johnny Depp Movies.

Heh, me, too.
Keanu knows his, uh, strengths and sticks to films that cater to them. Depp is just....weird and (now) bloated. That movie "The Tourist" was so, so bad,
Posted by: Lizzy at January 23, 2015 05:28 PM (ABcz/)


hellz yea

I'll watch any Keanu movie.

We want to see John Wick.

Posted by: artisanal 'ette at January 23, 2015 05:32 PM (IXrOn)

97 Posted by: AllenG (DedicatedTenther) - TrueCon at January 23, 2015 05:30 PM (kff5f)

He's commented a few times before. Often enough that I knew to follow him on Twitter and add him to the Horde list there. Hadn't realized he was *that* big of a deal though.

Posted by: Polliwog the 'Ette at January 23, 2015 05:32 PM (GDulk)

98 Posted by: artisanal 'ette at January 23, 2015 05:28 PM (IXrOn)

I thought Her was excellent based on my preconception that there was no way in hell that they could make a 90 minute movie on that subject without it being totally unbelievable and too silly. It wasn't a great movie but think the pulled it off so I give them credit for that.

Posted by: Bob Belcher at January 23, 2015 05:33 PM (3jmxp)

99 The best part of Keanu Reeves is his wide range, wildly emotive face, and insightful, extensive monologues. Nobody does a mannequin better.

Posted by: AnonymousDrivel at January 23, 2015 05:32 PM (1CroS)


No one says "Dude" with as much... flavor.

Posted by: AllenG (DedicatedTenther) - TrueCon at January 23, 2015 05:33 PM (kff5f)

100 "Saving Ryan's Privates was stupid. "


What, no. You've got two different......not the same thing....



Oh, forget it.

Posted by: Ricardo Kill at January 23, 2015 05:33 PM (AbFmZ)

101
I like Mordecai and Rigby from Regular Show.

Best show everrrrrrrr!

Posted by: Soothsayer of The Righteous And Harmonious Fists at January 23, 2015 05:33 PM (uEuCw)

102

It has Olivia Munn. shut up.



Is she the girl Aaron Rodgers is dating?

Posted by: grammie winger, watching the fig tree at January 23, 2015 05:33 PM (dFi94)

103 Depp was good in Ed Wood.

Pirates was okay ONCE, not four (5?) times.

Posted by: Squirrel at January 23, 2015 05:33 PM (Cfzj6)

104 Stoopid people can be endearing, otherwise parents would snuff out their kids left and right

Posted by: Raw monger at January 23, 2015 05:33 PM (FGEvF)

105
Remember when Paltrow got her head cut off in that movie. Great ending.

Posted by: Guy Mohawk at January 23, 2015 05:33 PM (Qs8ZN)

106 Foxcatcher was filled with bullshit, massively changed reality to create a story mocking 80s Republicans as closeted gays waving their guns and tanks around in a desperate, pathetic attempt to hide their homosexuality.

The guy had paranoid schizophrenia, that's all. There was not lesson of Reagan Republicanism to be drawn.

The movie also lied about the time line, the actual events happened in the 90s, not the 80s.

Foxcatcher was all sorts of bullshit. Well done. But manipulative and lying.
Posted by: Costanza Defense at January 23, 2015 05:32 PM (ZPrif)


I know

The whole thing was a lie, other than like one thing. No spoilers.

I couldn't believe it. I read the interview with the real Mark. He was spittin' mad.

The interview was more value than the movie itself.

Posted by: artisanal 'ette at January 23, 2015 05:33 PM (IXrOn)

107 80 Next two....?I have no idea what you're talking
about. There was only one Matrix movie. You cannot convince me there
were any sequels.


Posted by: Lizzy at January 23, 2015 05:30 PM (ABcz/)

Well, I made the mistake of buying them.

Posted by: Vic at January 23, 2015 05:33 PM (wlDny)

108 >>The best part of Keanu Reeves is his wide range, wildly emotive face,
and insightful, extensive monologues. Nobody does a mannequin better.


"There is no spoon."
"I know kung fu."

Posted by: Lizzy at January 23, 2015 05:33 PM (ABcz/)

109 I don't even remember him from Beetlejuice.
--
Probably cause he wasn't in it?

Posted by: Costanza Defense at January 23, 2015 05:34 PM (ZPrif)

110 Oh, forget it.

Posted by: Ricardo Kill at January 23, 2015 05:33 PM (AbFmZ)


I think you mean:

"That's not how this works. That's not how any of this works."

Posted by: AllenG (DedicatedTenther) - TrueCon at January 23, 2015 05:34 PM (kff5f)

111 AllenG: "I don't even remember him from Beetlejuice."

He was one of the ghosts in the Well of Souls. Probably.

Posted by: AnonymousDrivel at January 23, 2015 05:34 PM (1CroS)

112 Johnny Depp as Johnny Depp in Johnny Depp

Guy makes Jerry Lewis look like Sir Laurence Olivier these days.

Posted by: Sven10077 at January 23, 2015 05:34 PM (/4AZU)

113 "There is no spoon."
"I know kung fu."
Posted by: Lizzy at January 23, 2015 05:33 PM


"Whoa..."

Posted by: RedMindBlueState at January 23, 2015 05:34 PM (knoK7)

114 Johnny has been cast in the 'Inspector Gadget' sequels! WTF? Now I have to stay home and feed my wife carrots.

Posted by: Matthew Broderick at January 23, 2015 05:34 PM (5voqw)

115 Be advised- Sniper viewing at a church? Not the kind of language you normally hear in church.

Movie is good and Cooper was very good.

Posted by: weirdflunkyonatablet at January 23, 2015 05:35 PM (WMyrX)

116 The best part of Keanu Reeves is his wide range, wildly emotive face, and insightful, extensive monologues. Nobody does a mannequin better.

Posted by: AnonymousDrivel at January 23, 2015 05:32 PM (1CroS)

No one says "Dude" with as much... flavor.
Posted by: AllenG (DedicatedTenther) - TrueCon at January 23, 2015 05:33 PM (kff5f)



*swoon*

Posted by: artisanal 'ette at January 23, 2015 05:35 PM (IXrOn)

117

Depp wasn't in Beetlejuice

That was Michael Keeton

Posted by: ThunderB, Professional Ball Deflator at January 23, 2015 05:35 PM (zOTsN)

118 I don't even remember him from Beetlejuice.
--
Probably cause he wasn't in it?

Sure he was! Depp was also great in Mr. Mom and the first two Burton Batman films.

Posted by: Film Kritik at January 23, 2015 05:36 PM (VAsIq)

119 In the Hot Latino category, I prefer Salma Hayek.

Posted by: bergerbilder at January 23, 2015 05:36 PM (8MjqI)

120 109 Constanza Defense,

That was Michael Keaton as Johnny Depp...

Posted by: Sven10077 at January 23, 2015 05:36 PM (/4AZU)

121 Be advised- Sniper viewing at a church? Not the kind of language you normally hear in church.

I guess that depends on your church, you mother f'in mother f'er.

Posted by: AllenG (DedicatedTenther) - TrueCon at January 23, 2015 05:36 PM (kff5f)

122 That was Michael Keeton

Posted by: ThunderB, Professional Ball Deflator at January 23, 2015 05:35 PM (zOTsN)


****

No, that was Batman

Posted by: Muldoon, a solid man at January 23, 2015 05:36 PM (NeFrd)

123 don't mind Depp but his schtick doesn't age well

paltrow is a cringe but it might worth it to find out precisely how underwhelming she is in the sack, provided she doesn't talk

free advice here

Posted by: Feh at January 23, 2015 05:36 PM (QEgj7)

124 Nobody does a mannequin better.

Posted by: AnonymousDrivel at January 23, 2015 05:32 PM (1CroS)



this is paltrow to me

Posted by: artisanal 'ette at January 23, 2015 05:36 PM (IXrOn)

125 I like Mordecai and Rigby from Regular Show.

Best show everrrrrrrr!
Posted by: Soothsayer of The Righteous And Harmonious Fists at January 23, 2015 05:33 PM (uEuCw)



That show is has more routine laugh out loud funny moments than just about anything else on tv.

Posted by: mugiwara at January 23, 2015 05:36 PM (06U11)

126

Ace would make a good new Depp.

Posted by: artisanal 'ette at January 23, 2015 05:37 PM (IXrOn)

127 Now I bet Johnny Depp could pull off being Batman. Everyone else in Hollywood has had a shot at it.

Posted by: Muldoon, a solid man at January 23, 2015 05:37 PM (NeFrd)

128
saw Michael Keaton in Birdman

truly bizarre

saw Budapest Hotel. I liked it. I like Wes Anderson movies. I know he isn't everyone's cup of tea

Posted by: ThunderB, Professional Ball Deflator at January 23, 2015 05:37 PM (zOTsN)

129 118 Film Kritik,

I also enjoyed Johnny Depp in "Fletch"

Posted by: Sven10077 at January 23, 2015 05:37 PM (/4AZU)

130 115 Be advised- Sniper viewing at a church? Not the kind of language you normally hear in church.
Posted by: weirdflunkyonatablet at January 23, 2015 05:35 PM (WMyrX)



LOL. My church meets in a Cinemax movie theater. God in the morning, who knows what else in the afternoon.

Posted by: grammie winger, watching the fig tree at January 23, 2015 05:37 PM (dFi94)

131 D*mn. Apparently that *was* Daddy Warpig earlier. And it seems I might have scared him off...
Posted by: AllenG (DedicatedTenther) - TrueCon at January 23, 2015 05:30 PM (kff5f)


--------------------------------------------


I think this place does that to a lot of people. I tried to introduce it to a woman at work, but she said that it moves too fast. I told her that there's usually multi-conversations going on and to just jump in to any one (or all) of them. But she's quite shy and hesitant (but conservative), and this place isn't the place for shy and hesitant.

BUT, at the same time, a lot of people feel at home here, as I do.

Posted by: Soona at January 23, 2015 05:37 PM (qbgxo)

132 "Ace would make a good new Depp."

Yub nub

Posted by: dudenolongerinsantacruz at January 23, 2015 05:38 PM (PGXA8)

133 Posted by: AllenG (DedicatedTenther) - TrueCon at January 23, 2015 05:36 PM (kff5f)

Fuckin A

Posted by: weirdflunkyonatablet at January 23, 2015 05:38 PM (WMyrX)

134 thumbs up wes, coen bros too

Posted by: Feh at January 23, 2015 05:38 PM (QEgj7)

135

Michael Keeton was Beetlejuice, Batman and Birdman

Posted by: ThunderB, Professional Ball Deflator at January 23, 2015 05:38 PM (zOTsN)

136 And he doesn't just play Cpt Jack for those movies- it seems like its the only character he plays anymore.

It's worse: my first thought on seeing him in Pirates was, my god, it's a pirate Hunter Thompson! I think he's been playing the same character since Fear and Loathing.

Posted by: Stephen Price Blair at January 23, 2015 05:38 PM (J0IP0)

137 Keanu Reeves movies that are really good.


Walk in the Clouds
Street Kings
Matrix
Speed
Constantine
Devils advocate
Sweet November
Feeling Minnesota
Much Ado About Nothing

Posted by: Bob Belcher at January 23, 2015 05:38 PM (3jmxp)

138 I'm just so sick of the same people being in all the movies.

The A-list is, what, 20 people??

Give other people a chance, eh?
Posted by: Soothsayer of The Righteous And Harmonious Fists at January 23, 2015 05:18 PM (uEuCw)



all the cool people are on TV now

Posted by: artisanal 'ette at January 23, 2015 05:39 PM (IXrOn)

139
God -- I'm locked in CoveredCalifornia hell.

FU Obama

FU Mitt Romney

Posted by: Laurie David's Cervix at January 23, 2015 05:39 PM (kdS6q)

140 I love Depp from his Little Rascals days.

Posted by: Film Kritik at January 23, 2015 05:39 PM (VAsIq)

141 Brian Dennehy was great as the scissors in Edward Scissorhands.

Posted by: dantesed at January 23, 2015 05:39 PM (88xKn)

142 >>No one says "Dude" with as much... flavor.


"Vaya con Dios, Brah"

Posted by: Lizzy at January 23, 2015 05:39 PM (ABcz/)

143 Foxcatcher was a well-made movie. It was Michael Moore level lying, though, telling the audience it was a true story but constantly lying. Almost nothing in the movie was real. The mother was long dead before the wrestling stuff. The shooting happened in the 90s during Clinton, not 80s under Reagan. There was no gay affair with Schultz, none of that happened.

Posted by: Costanza Defense at January 23, 2015 05:40 PM (ZPrif)

144 Oops, Lopez was not in Ghost Rider. That was Eva Mendez.

Posted by: Vic at January 23, 2015 05:40 PM (wlDny)

145 Jack Sparrow was popular, he sells, that's why we hire Johnny to do Jack.

Posted by: Hollywood Producer at January 23, 2015 05:40 PM (fBxC6)

146 Now I have to stay home and feed my wife carrots.
Posted by: Matthew Broderick at January 23, 2015 05:34 PM (5voqw)


He has a wife named Carrots? The Hollywood names get weirder all the time.

Posted by: bergerbilder at January 23, 2015 05:40 PM (8MjqI)

147 keanu strikes me as someone whose agent is significantly smarter than he is

Posted by: Feh at January 23, 2015 05:40 PM (QEgj7)

148 Who is Daddy Warpig?

Posted by: Carol at January 23, 2015 05:40 PM (sj3Ax)

149 Depp was all hype to begin with so a spin out is understandable.
Posted by: Vic at January 23, 2015 05:20 PM (wlDny)



When he started hiding all of his freckles, he just crashed and burned.

In a fire.

j/k

Posted by: artisanal 'ette at January 23, 2015 05:40 PM (IXrOn)

150

Wes Anderson movies do have a slight undercurrent of loathing for busy bodies and officials who are ruining your life by do-gooding on your behalf

like Moonrise Kingdom and the Grand Budapest Hotel

I know politics shouldn't be inserted to everything, but it just occurred to me that is a recurring theme of his

Posted by: ThunderB, Professional Ball Deflator at January 23, 2015 05:41 PM (zOTsN)

151 O/T I think Eric Erickson secretly reads Ace and is stealing his idea. You guys probably already read it, but his piece today at Red State suggests that Renee Ellmers be first on "A List" to be taken out in 2016 and that if we can't primary her out, we vote for the Dem in the general election.

Posted by: L, elle at January 23, 2015 05:41 PM (wwx67)

152 >>Keanu Reeves movies that are really good....

*Ahem* Point Break

Posted by: Lizzy at January 23, 2015 05:42 PM (ABcz/)

153 148 Carol,

A good writer who is a force in #gamergate...

I hope he sticks....

Posted by: Sven10077 at January 23, 2015 05:42 PM (/4AZU)

154 Agreed. Batman plays a bitchin' Michael Keaton. Who knew, however, that The Riddler could make his career seemingly fall off the face of the Earth?

Posted by: AnonymousDrivel at January 23, 2015 05:42 PM (1CroS)

155 I actually bought the book Don't Point That Thing At Me

RINO!!!

Posted by: L, elle at January 23, 2015 05:22 PM (wwx67)



don't know what Ace is

maybe a LIBINDARIAN

Posted by: artisanal 'ette at January 23, 2015 05:42 PM (IXrOn)

156 Nood

Posted by: Vic at January 23, 2015 05:43 PM (wlDny)

157 >>> Keanu Reeves movies that are really good
...
Devils advocate

THE KID WAS FANTASTIC!

Posted by: Al Pacino at January 23, 2015 05:43 PM (Ua6T/)

158 151 L, elle

Diogenes Lamp and a few of us have been saying that since 2010

Posted by: Sven10077 at January 23, 2015 05:43 PM (/4AZU)

159 Speaking of Ellmers -- check out the GotNews rumor. Crazy. I have trouble believing it. Probably too crazy.

Posted by: Costanza Defense at January 23, 2015 05:43 PM (ZPrif)

160 Keanu Reeves movies that are really good....*Ahem* Point Break
Posted by: Lizzy at January 23, 2015 05:42 PM (ABcz/)


---------------------------------------


I liked "Speed". He played his character well in that movie.

Posted by: Soona at January 23, 2015 05:43 PM (qbgxo)

161 I say "get this" because Johnny Depp is in a major career spin-out.

Weed will do that to you.

In terms of total dollars, Sniper is the best winter release ever. Probably not in terms of inflation-adjusted.

Posted by: Christopher Taylor at January 23, 2015 05:44 PM (39g3+)

162 Only slightly tangential--I'm enjoying the TV series Constantine as well as Gotham.

Posted by: Turd Ferguson at January 23, 2015 05:44 PM (VAsIq)

163 Sven,
Thank you.

Posted by: Carol at January 23, 2015 05:45 PM (sj3Ax)

164 artisanal 'ette: "this is paltrow to me"

Good point. Her range might be narrower than even Reeves'. I guess her best acting talent is her height.

Posted by: AnonymousDrivel at January 23, 2015 05:46 PM (1CroS)

165 I watched some sci-fi on netflix, about robots...

Automata with antonio banderas

Man writing into their code two protocols

they can not harm any form of life,
and they may not modify themselves or other robots

interesting

leaves you hollow

Posted by: artisanal 'ette at January 23, 2015 05:46 PM (IXrOn)

166 Good point. Her range might be narrower than even Reeves'. I guess her best acting talent is her height.
Posted by: AnonymousDrivel at January 23, 2015 05:46 PM (1CroS)


and she's cute
and she has a decent voice

Posted by: artisanal 'ette at January 23, 2015 05:47 PM (IXrOn)

167 Have you racist crackers seen Affirmative Action Annie? Thought so! Mmmm...mmmm...mmmmm.

Posted by: Tyler Perry IS Selma in Selma at January 23, 2015 05:47 PM (5voqw)

168 LONGBOWS THREAD! FLEE!

Posted by: Turd Ferguson at January 23, 2015 05:47 PM (VAsIq)

169 What shocked me about Her is Joaquin Phoenix's voice.

so .... high and squeeky
and lispy

and, gosh, I love him in any movie, but yikes

Posted by: artisanal 'ette at January 23, 2015 05:48 PM (IXrOn)

170 need to put a pizza in the oven

while walking on clouds

weeeee

tgif

movie thread

Posted by: artisanal 'ette at January 23, 2015 05:49 PM (IXrOn)

171 >>
Good point. Her range might be narrower than even Reeves'. I guess her best acting talent is her height.

She's unoffensive on screen, such as with her Pepper Potts. But yeah, not much range, just a brit accent she can throw in when needed. The problem is her offscreen, real-life persona is so repellent.

Posted by: Lizzy at January 23, 2015 05:50 PM (ABcz/)

172 Depp didn't do the Jack Sparrow shtick in a semi recent movie seen by myself & maybe five other poor a-holes in the US. It was the box-office prolapse "Transcendent".

The movie sucked....
Sucked balls.

Posted by: Landofskybluewater at January 23, 2015 05:53 PM (JoIcn)

173 Ace put this up after 5 & I was going to leave when MUMR showed up. He's on old thread all by himself.

Great timing Ace!

He must open blog & post on bus or train.

Posted by: Carol at January 23, 2015 05:54 PM (sj3Ax)

174 Transcendence did suck balls.

Posted by: Lizzy at January 23, 2015 05:55 PM (ABcz/)

175 Costanza Defense,
I'm reading Got News now because you or someone wrote about it in last thread.

Posted by: Carol at January 23, 2015 05:59 PM (sj3Ax)

176 Johnny Depp was good in the movie where he tries to catch Jack the Ripper

Posted by: ginaswo at January 23, 2015 06:02 PM (2EgyQ)

177 Even though it's apparently not true the Longbow Salute originated at Agincourt as a "pluck you" to the Frogs, I still *feel* it's True.

Posted by: All Hail Eris at January 23, 2015 06:02 PM (KH1sk)

178 Trailers made Mordecai look like a manic cross between Poirot and The Thin Man. Or rather, tried to. Except Depp and Paltrow have but a mere shadow of the chemistry that Powell and Loy had, and a tenth of the charisma of David Suchet. I'd rather marathon Poirot on Netflix and sit through this obvious disaster of a film.

Posted by: LizLem at January 23, 2015 06:03 PM (yRwC8)

179 Paltrows best acting was in Seven

Her best talent is her mother and GodDaddy Speilberg

Posted by: ginaswo at January 23, 2015 06:03 PM (2EgyQ)

180 He was also in another little gem called Secret Window. I fell asleep about 30 minutes in, woke about 45 minutes later & was still able to immediately guess the "twist" while wiping crusties from my eyes.

This wasn't while watching at home after a beer or eight. This was watching it in a semi full theater.....in a dirty mall....in Jersey.

Posted by: Landofskybluewater at January 23, 2015 06:04 PM (JoIcn)

181 She was good in Hush too but Jessica Lange gave her so much to work with there

Posted by: ginaswo at January 23, 2015 06:04 PM (2EgyQ)

182 Oh yeah Secret Window!!!! I love that one

Posted by: ginaswo at January 23, 2015 06:05 PM (2EgyQ)

183 Any full length film based on a shirt story by Stephen king is going to draaaag

But I like the way he dealt with a cheating wife

Maria Bello was the wife

Posted by: ginaswo at January 23, 2015 06:07 PM (2EgyQ)

184 Depp was also very convincing playing the part of the Froot-Loops being gobbled up by Gozell Green in the tub.

Posted by: Landofskybluewater at January 23, 2015 06:08 PM (JoIcn)

185 Maria Bello......mmmm. I forgot about that. That IS a plus!

Posted by: Landofskybluewater at January 23, 2015 06:10 PM (JoIcn)

186
Don't Point That Thing At Me 2: Electric Bukakke-loo



Meh.

I got nothing except I read the book and this looks to be an extremely loose adaptation.

Posted by: naturalfake at January 23, 2015 06:14 PM (0cMkb)

187 "She's unoffensive on screen, such as with her Pepper Potts. But yeah, not much range, just a brit accent she can throw in when needed. The problem is her offscreen, real-life persona is so repellent."

Posted by: Lizzy at January 23, 2015 05:50 PM (ABcz/)

I didn't even notice that she was Pepper Pots. I've been able to avoid most actors' ignorance and outright stupidity IRL. It is only when They Won't Let You avoid and ignore their politics when I decide to avoid their work.

I can't stand the fact that "Bull Durham" has been forever tainted by Sarandon and Robbins' In Your Face politics. I love baseball too much not to watch it, however. It is a quality flick for junkies like me.

I will also watch "The Shawshank Redemption" almost every time I find it.

Good stories allow me the cognitive dissonance it takes for a little "escapism".

Posted by: ColdBeer1 (Slap) (T) at January 23, 2015 06:16 PM (16bOT)

188 Yeah, Bull Durham and Shawshank Redemption are so good that I can ignore Tim Robbins, too.

Posted by: Lizzy at January 23, 2015 06:19 PM (ABcz/)

189
mugiwara, Adventure Time is also a hoot.

Posted by: Soothsayer of The Righteous And Harmonious Fists at January 23, 2015 06:20 PM (uEuCw)

190 John Wick was excellent. Never seen the wife so amped to see bad guys die gruesome deaths.

Posted by: WinLinBSD Admin at January 23, 2015 06:42 PM (eMJ+y)

191 I really liked Depp's work in 21 Jump Street. And, um, the one where his hands were knives? "Wolverine"? (Not sure about the title.)

Posted by: Shoutingboy at January 23, 2015 06:52 PM (uxmOV)

192 Depp is clearly a talented dude, but he would do better with a director who had the balls and good sense to rain him in a bit

Posted by: VA MK Z at January 23, 2015 07:09 PM (RjkRJ)

193 So Sniper is just a little bit short of a record for weekend 2? It's our duty to go see it again and carry it over the line. Wish my back didn't hurt so much or I would go a couple of times. I love to read all the excuses about why it's so popular and how puzzled all the glitterati are! LOL!

So now they're coming back at us dunderheads with a REAL story of Amerikkka. The writing and acting lineups are frightening.

http://tinyurl.com/njx3bdy

Posted by: PJ at January 23, 2015 07:15 PM (cHuNI)

194 Hey, can someone direct me to the explanation of the corgi joke?

Posted by: PJ at January 23, 2015 07:16 PM (cHuNI)

195 "Hey, can someone direct me to the explanation of the corgi joke?"
-Posted by: PJ at January 23, 2015 07:16 PM (cHuNI)

There was a video posted by AtC, (I believe), that showed a bunch of Corgi puppies coming around a corner toward their bowl.

There were like five or six Corgi puppies, scampering on a linoleum floor, intent on getting to the bowl of food.

They abandoned whatever they were doing and rushed "to the next thread".

Posted by: ColdBeer1 (Slap) at January 23, 2015 07:27 PM (16bOT)

196 No posts for 45 minutes? Record?

Posted by: GMB - Tyrant 2nd Class at January 23, 2015 08:07 PM (U7H1n)

197 "No posts for 45 minutes? Record?"
-Posted by: GMB - Tyrant 2nd Class at January 23, 2015 08:07 PM (U7H1n)

It is a dead-thread. There is a NOOD!

...has been for One-and-a-half hours!

Posted by: ColdBeer1 (Slap) (T) at January 23, 2015 08:20 PM (16bOT)

198 Has Depp made any movie outside Scissorhands and the Pirates franchise worth watching? Because I can't think of any. Oh wait, Private Resort way back in the 80's, stupid teen flick but still funnier than any of his other stuff.

Posted by: booger at January 23, 2015 08:52 PM (tzcDX)

199 Oh gotcha Coldbeer. Tx.

Posted by: pj at January 23, 2015 09:03 PM (cHuNI)

200 Well there was Gilbert Grape.

Posted by: kansas at January 23, 2015 10:36 PM (uBVzH)

201 Escort girls http://REGMODELS.RU

Posted by: Tina at January 26, 2015 07:26 PM (95udX)

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