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These Guys Emailed Me, They Said They Wanted You to Punch Them In Their Simpering Faces

But you already knew that, probably.


Posted by: Ace at 05:21 PM




Comments

(Jump to bottom of comments)

1 My G-d.

We are so doomed.

Posted by: Moderate Salami at January 20, 2015 05:22 PM (/Ho8c)

2 After the last thread?

Posted by: Golfman in NC at January 20, 2015 05:23 PM (wVWRM)

3 As a culture, we are completely screwed.


There is no more hope.

Posted by: Kinley Ardal at January 20, 2015 05:23 PM (Y9x3L)

4

pull on that thread
I dare ya

Posted by: artisanal 'ette at January 20, 2015 05:23 PM (IXrOn)

5 These pants look super duper in, omgz where do I buy?

Posted by: Obama's Son at January 20, 2015 05:23 PM (SuGsU)

6 These men brought the beatings on themselves

Posted by: Sally Kohn at January 20, 2015 05:23 PM (lOqu3)

7

Crotch-less shorts.

Posted by: artisanal 'ette at January 20, 2015 05:24 PM (IXrOn)

8 The men get shorts.

Posted by: Dr. Varno at January 20, 2015 05:24 PM (fIv/H)

9 Back to gay.....

Posted by: Stateless Infidel at January 20, 2015 05:24 PM (AC0lD)

10 Words spoken at that photo-shoot - "Dude", "Brohiem"

Posted by: Not an Artist at January 20, 2015 05:24 PM (uRumV)

11

doubles as a hat

Posted by: artisanal 'ette at January 20, 2015 05:24 PM (IXrOn)

12 do they come in thongs?

(enjoy the visual)

Posted by: brak at January 20, 2015 05:25 PM (Tj+s6)

13

Comes in only one size: Small

Posted by: artisanal 'ette at January 20, 2015 05:25 PM (IXrOn)

14 Could be worse. Not sure how, but it could be.

Posted by: Blanco Basura at January 20, 2015 05:25 PM (4WhSY)

15 I told you not to shove that stuff in my face.

Posted by: B. Crystal at January 20, 2015 05:25 PM (ZWRoJ)

16 Cum stains don't show. That's all I got.

Posted by: Nip Sip at January 20, 2015 05:25 PM (0FSuD)

17 Are these guys cousins of pajama boy?

Posted by: dantesed at January 20, 2015 05:25 PM (88xKn)

18
This is closely related to the previous post, I suspect a theme is developing

Posted by: Vashta Nerada at January 20, 2015 05:26 PM (2ePOO)

19 We are lost as a civilization. All we can do now is pray for SMOD.

Posted by: Old Blue at January 20, 2015 05:26 PM (vVSOO)

20

Real men wear embroidered...

Posted by: artisanal 'ette at January 20, 2015 05:26 PM (IXrOn)

21 Has "rapey" Tuesday been replaced by "foamy" Tuesday?

Posted by: OregonMuse at January 20, 2015 05:26 PM (I8YZX)

22



Grandma sweat factories, back in business!

Posted by: artisanal 'ette at January 20, 2015 05:27 PM (IXrOn)

23 So Ghey Tuesday replaces Rapey-rape Tuesday.

Posted by: Chet Cognomen, Oldest student in his Psych Class at January 20, 2015 05:27 PM (RwwCT)

24 My guess is a little levity before the Subterfuge Of The Ubama.

Posted by: Golfman in NC at January 20, 2015 05:27 PM (wVWRM)

25 i'll let my wife punch them...

Posted by: redc1c4 at January 20, 2015 05:27 PM (044Yr)

26 Anyone remember "Humiliated Easy Boyfriends"?
http://tinyurl.com/ow4ndoc

Posted by: bananaDream at January 20, 2015 05:27 PM (vLk7c)

27
Where have all the alphas gone?

We're lucky to have a beta for our leaders, today. We're a nation of deltas.

And these deltas are breeding and producing zetas. Human civilization is on the decline and soon will go the way of the Do-Do.

Posted by: Reflective Alternate-Reality Soothsayer at January 20, 2015 05:27 PM (suql3)

28 Hehehehe


Posted by: Ricardo Kill at January 20, 2015 05:27 PM (LA7Cm)

29 Those things scream Turd Tamper like nothing else. I'd rather be seen having an inappropriate relationship with a rooster than be seen in those things. Like a pink rabbit suit, just not "me".

Posted by: maddogg at January 20, 2015 05:27 PM (xWW96)

30 It's a shame The Dorcus Line of Menswear (cf. Lileks, of course) isn't being updated anymore...

Posted by: Additional Blond Agent at January 20, 2015 05:27 PM (PMGbu)

31 Dear God. Don't tell me what happens next.

Posted by: Billy Crystal at January 20, 2015 05:27 PM (MYCIw)

32 OK, going to work now.


Later roonz and roonettez, fear no evil!

Posted by: GGE of the Moron Horde, NC Chapter at January 20, 2015 05:27 PM (6fyGz)

33 I'm going to guess that this is not a trend so much as someone crocheted some shorts and then via social media garnered enough attention to make it a "thing."
Kinda like that whole dying your armpit hair "trend" where one feminists did it and tweeted pics, which inspired a few more women to follow suit. Not a trend.

Posted by: Lizzy at January 20, 2015 05:27 PM (ABcz/)

34

Crafty!

Posted by: artisanal 'ette at January 20, 2015 05:28 PM (IXrOn)

35 Maybe your gehy boyfriend knits so you have to wear them?

Posted by: Nip Sip at January 20, 2015 05:28 PM (0FSuD)

36 Posted by: Nip Sip at January 20, 2015 05:25 PM (0FSuD)


I laughed but that is sick.

Posted by: Golfman in NC at January 20, 2015 05:28 PM (wVWRM)

37 Breezy.

Posted by: filbert at January 20, 2015 05:28 PM (h6Mpm)

38 I actually stumbled over a site, diehipster.com, that documents this type of crap in Brooklyn.

It's bad and it's getting worse.

Posted by: Dack Thrombosis at January 20, 2015 05:28 PM (oFCZn)

39

Chia Pet Starter Kit

Posted by: artisanal 'ette at January 20, 2015 05:28 PM (IXrOn)

40 Is there a matching vest?

Posted by: Matchy matchy boy at January 20, 2015 05:28 PM (YtWJn)

41 No body hair.

Go figure.

Posted by: Mama AJ at January 20, 2015 05:28 PM (0xTsz)

42 Weezer has announced the upcoming release of a new single "Undone - The Shorts Song".

"If you want to destroy my shorts
Pull this thread as I walk away."

Posted by: junior at January 20, 2015 05:28 PM (UWFpX)

43 "Not a trend."

I would agree, but I saw last summer's "short suit" so...

Posted by: Billy Crystal at January 20, 2015 05:29 PM (MYCIw)

44 Sorry, should be "Etsy" boyfriends not Easy. LOL!!!

Posted by: bananaDream at January 20, 2015 05:29 PM (vLk7c)

45 If they had patterns of big busted super heroines, it would still be pretty gay....

Posted by: Stateless Infidel at January 20, 2015 05:29 PM (AC0lD)

46 This is exactly the reason the Roman Empire was sacked.

Posted by: Dr. Mr. Badman at January 20, 2015 05:29 PM (NFDop)

47 I thought Crystal was criticizing directors wanting him to do gehy secks scenes all the time. Maybe I misunderstood.


Oops, wrong thread. Or maybe not.

Posted by: Hurricane LaFawnduh at January 20, 2015 05:29 PM (HBAcW)

48 I'm going to guess that this is not a trend so much as someone crocheted some shorts and then via social media garnered enough attention to make it a "thing."

Posted by: Lizzy


This.

Now close the thread.

Posted by: weft cut-loop at January 20, 2015 05:30 PM (fADgx)

49 Comes in only one size: Small

Posted by: artisanal 'ette


ROFL!

Posted by: Moderate Salami at January 20, 2015 05:30 PM (/Ho8c)

50 SMOD. I beseech thee.

Posted by: rickb223 at January 20, 2015 05:30 PM (Fjr+q)

51 Holy crap, I work with a guy named Vikram Goyal.

Posted by: sunny-dee at January 20, 2015 05:30 PM (EBoCD)

52 I'm going to guess that this is not a trend so much as someone crocheted
some shorts and then via social media garnered enough attention to make
it a "thing."


Ace did a long post last year (I think) analyzing "the next big things" and realizing almost all of the "things" were something a single writer knew two people who had one/did that.

Posted by: HR needs donuts at January 20, 2015 05:30 PM (ZKzrr)

53 I can't...

This is sort-of...

Who would ever...

*hangs-up phone*

*dial tone*

Posted by: ColdBeer1 (Slap) (T) at January 20, 2015 05:31 PM (16bOT)

54 Punch them in their simpering faces?

Are you sure they weren't begging you to punch them in their bulging crochets?

Posted by: filbert at January 20, 2015 05:31 PM (h6Mpm)

55

Going Commando could be dangerous.

Might have to do some bikini shaving, ladies douchebags.

Posted by: artisanal 'ette at January 20, 2015 05:31 PM (IXrOn)

56 I bet the pee hole is in the back.

Posted by: Dr Spank at January 20, 2015 05:31 PM (Olokk)

57 How many 'broners' in that pic? I'm not looking but I gotta imagine males so sissified as to don such apparel aren't looking for vajaynigh.

Posted by: SE Pa Moron at January 20, 2015 05:31 PM (zxQ4h)

58 This is why God gave us flamethrowers.

Kill it with fire.

Posted by: Colorado Alex at January 20, 2015 05:31 PM (10ydV)

59 Fags.

Posted by: The Crystal Family Reunion at January 20, 2015 05:31 PM (Qs8ZN)

60 Comes in only one size:



Dangly bits-less.

Posted by: rickb223 at January 20, 2015 05:32 PM (Fjr+q)

61 Gayer than Obama.

Posted by: Yes means Maybe at January 20, 2015 05:32 PM (7wyDO)

62 Those are the perfect outfit for those who chain themselves to barrels on busy highways.

Bright, lively colors make much better aiming points for the oncoming snow-plows and various 4x4s being driven by pissed off, late to work drivers.



Jim
Sunk New Dawn
Galveston, TX

Posted by: Jim at January 20, 2015 05:32 PM (RzZOc)

63 Do not under any circumstances pull his finger!

Posted by: weirdflunkyonatablet at January 20, 2015 05:33 PM (5jKwU)

64 This is exactly the reason the Roman Empire was sacked.
Posted by: Dr. Mr. Badman


ehheheh, you said "sack," eheheh

Posted by: weft cut-butthead at January 20, 2015 05:33 PM (fADgx)

65 My garter thnake don't want none without crochet.

Posted by: Pudly Throbbington at January 20, 2015 05:33 PM (sH832)

66 Men without chests. Or balls. Or something.

Posted by: Hurricane LaFawnduh at January 20, 2015 05:33 PM (HBAcW)

67 I can't get worked up enough by stupid male or female fashions to want to punch people in the face over it, but if you want to Ace, perhaps some deep breathing and or/ chamomile tea might be in order. ;^)

Posted by: FenelonSpoke at January 20, 2015 05:33 PM (DXzRD)

68 Damn. I'll take 10.

Posted by: Totes not Reggie Love at January 20, 2015 05:33 PM (E8IHS)

69 I...just...

I mean...

Fcuk it, I got nuthin'.

Posted by: RedMindBlueState at January 20, 2015 05:34 PM (knoK7)

70
no way

only on Fulton street and only during the parade

Posted by: ThunderB, Sharia Compliance Officer at January 20, 2015 05:34 PM (zOTsN)

71 On the bright side, if you shart in your shorts, a couple of good dunkings will wash that shit out.

On the dark side, Grandma is not going to be happy with what you did to her doilies.

Posted by: Fritz at January 20, 2015 05:34 PM (dVmLD)

72 Maybe I will wear those when I am on Duty in Washington DC this weekend. I am sure they will go over big time

Posted by: Nevergiveup at January 20, 2015 05:34 PM (nzKvP)

73 You know what would go really well with the queerthreads? A big old Idaho spud down the crotch. Front or rear, doesn't matter.

Posted by: maddogg at January 20, 2015 05:34 PM (xWW96)

74 ehheheh, you said "sack," eheheh
Posted by: weft cut-butthead at January 20, 2015 05:33 PM (fADgx)

"utilize"

Posted by: HoboJerk, Completely Unreasonable at January 20, 2015 05:34 PM (E8IHS)

75 No black models.

Racists....

Posted by: Stateless Infidel at January 20, 2015 05:34 PM (AC0lD)

76 But it would give work to some of the knitters and crocheters on this board. :^)

Posted by: FenelonSpoke at January 20, 2015 05:34 PM (DXzRD)

77 ...They Said They Wanted You to Punch Them In Their Simpering Faces
Why yes, this does make me feel strangely violent. One of the first things that popped into my mind was "which gun?"

Posted by: Clutch Cargo at January 20, 2015 05:34 PM (sH832)

78 the one on the far right is a lady right?

Posted by: ThunderB, Sharia Compliance Officer at January 20, 2015 05:34 PM (zOTsN)

79 No, I would not punch them in the face or anywhere else.

Not without top-notch HAZMAT gear on.

Posted by: Brother Cavil, Unrepresented at January 20, 2015 05:34 PM (DT3rQ)

80

Started out as a joke from Grandma...

Now she's laughing all the way to the bank with her knitting needles.

Posted by: artisanal 'ette at January 20, 2015 05:34 PM (IXrOn)

81 Andy Sully just snapchatted me to say this is too ghey.

Posted by: HoboJerk, Completely Unreasonable at January 20, 2015 05:35 PM (E8IHS)

82 Those are afghan shorts and you are all islamaphopes for not buying a pair immediately.

Posted by: FDR's Television at January 20, 2015 05:35 PM (ne2fm)

83 Embarrassing.

Posted by: The Banana Hammock at January 20, 2015 05:35 PM (16bOT)

84 Dear God. Don't tell me what happens next.

Posted by: Billy Crystal at January 20, 2015 05:27 PM (MYCIw)


Here, bite this pillow.

Posted by: Lavender Mafia at January 20, 2015 05:35 PM (0Ew3K)

85 No black models.

Racists....
Posted by: Stateless Infidel


Nah, they just knew better.

Posted by: Brother Cavil, Unrepresented at January 20, 2015 05:35 PM (DT3rQ)

86 "Look, my mommy knitted me a putzholder".

Posted by: mc at January 20, 2015 05:35 PM (xuXpE)

87 As seen on Ghey Sex TV!

Posted by: Billy Kristol at January 20, 2015 05:35 PM (nbGZj)

88 Men without chests. Or balls. Or something.



Low T is a bitch.

Posted by: rickb223 at January 20, 2015 05:35 PM (Fjr+q)

89
in fact I think the far left and far right are ladies

the guys in the middle are their gay boyfriends

Posted by: ThunderB, Sharia Compliance Officer at January 20, 2015 05:35 PM (zOTsN)

90 I forgot where I read it but someone was saying that if you are a 25-40 male hetero, have a stable job, own a home, you will have to beat the whores off with a stick. Even if said male is married the women will be forced to share him because the pickins are slim.


Posted by: Red Mexican at January 20, 2015 05:35 PM (SuGsU)

91 I'm out. Ugh.

Posted by: Golfman in NC at January 20, 2015 05:35 PM (wVWRM)

92 I laugh but I cringe when I see pics of me in the short ,tight cut off jeans. Lord help me.

Posted by: Bob Belcher at January 20, 2015 05:36 PM (3jmxp)

93 I'd punch them in the ballsack, but the pants would cushion the blow.

Posted by: FDR's Television at January 20, 2015 05:36 PM (ne2fm)

94
Posted by: junior at January 20, 2015 05:28 PM (UWFpX)
I was about to post something to that effect! Mindtwin.*looks at junior a little more suspiciously**puts on tinfoil hat*

Posted by: LizLem at January 20, 2015 05:36 PM (yRwC8)

95 Wear your pants around your knees so you appear to be down with the struggle in hood? Wear these as a smart fashion statement to show just how down you are! Sure to be a conversation starter!

Posted by: Old Blue at January 20, 2015 05:36 PM (vVSOO)

96

If they had the AOSHQ's logo on it, I guess I'd resort to buying it, because the polo's are no longer in stock.

Posted by: artisanal 'ette at January 20, 2015 05:36 PM (IXrOn)

97 the one on the far right is a lady right?

Posted by: ThunderB, Sharia Compliance Officer at January 20, 2015 05:34 PM


Could be...dude looks like a lady.

Posted by: RedMindBlueState at January 20, 2015 05:36 PM (knoK7)

98

How do we know they're shorts?

Posted by: artisanal 'ette at January 20, 2015 05:36 PM (IXrOn)

99 This thread smells like stale smegma and old yarn.

New thread please?

Posted by: filbert at January 20, 2015 05:37 PM (h6Mpm)

100 But it would give work to some of the knitters and crocheters on this board. :^)

Or their dead grandmothers--the crafter cut up 40-year-old afghans from thrift stores.

We laugh, but when the Burning Times Come and your local farm supply store can't get in new Carhartts, y'all gonna be improvising just like that.

Posted by: HR needs donuts at January 20, 2015 05:37 PM (ZKzrr)

101 "Crochet Shorts for Home Sapiens with a (real or imagined) Penis"

'cause the term "men" has nothing whatsoever to do with those... things.

Posted by: anon a mouse at January 20, 2015 05:37 PM (/jpU8)

102 I think one of those is a kilt, so they're even going after the Scottish demo.

Posted by: FDR's Television at January 20, 2015 05:37 PM (ne2fm)

103 So...can we get the vagina knitter to make some of these?

Posted by: Lizzy at January 20, 2015 05:37 PM (ABcz/)

104 No black models.

Racists....
Posted by: Stateless Infidel



Barky and Reggie were busy. IYKWIM.

Posted by: rickb223 at January 20, 2015 05:37 PM (Fjr+q)

105 93 I'd punch them in the ballsack, but the pants would cushion the blow.
Posted by: FDR's Television
---------------------

That would be "nothing but net".

Posted by: Roy at January 20, 2015 05:37 PM (fWLrt)

106 Note that none of the "models" can muster enough testosterone to grow any leg hair. I can braid mine.

Posted by: maddogg at January 20, 2015 05:38 PM (xWW96)

107
I am judging the gender by the hands and knees

far left and right are ladies

middle two are gay boyfriends

Posted by: ThunderB, Sharia Compliance Officer at January 20, 2015 05:38 PM (zOTsN)

108 Well, that's turning me into a lesbian.

Posted by: Dusty at January 20, 2015 05:38 PM (0rpac)

109 Obama's typical white person grandma made him a pair every Christmas

Posted by: Billy Kristol at January 20, 2015 05:38 PM (nbGZj)

110 This thread smells like stale smegma and old yarn.

New thread please?

Posted by: filbert at January 20, 2015 05:37 PM (h6Mpm)


I'm ready for my close-up...

Posted by: The Sloth at January 20, 2015 05:38 PM (0Ew3K)

111 Cat toys for spinsters. MoDo needs one.

Posted by: Roy at January 20, 2015 05:38 PM (fWLrt)

112


technically these aren't shorts

they're sharts

Posted by: ThunderB, Sharia Compliance Officer at January 20, 2015 05:39 PM (zOTsN)

113 @90 I forgot where I read it but someone was saying that if you are a 25-40 male hetero, have a stable job, own a home, you will have to beat the whores off with a stick. Even if said male is married the women will be forced to share him because the pickins are slim.
------------------

Isaiah 4:1

Posted by: junior at January 20, 2015 05:39 PM (UWFpX)

114 Wear your pants around your knees so you appear to be down with the struggle in hood? prison.


FIFY

Posted by: rickb223 at January 20, 2015 05:39 PM (Fjr+q)

115 It's a koolaid test for sorting purposes. No other answer.

Posted by: Gross Busters at January 20, 2015 05:39 PM (Up6g7)

116 Daddy, when did you know for sure the zombies were coming?

Posted by: My children, soon at January 20, 2015 05:39 PM (vgIRn)

117 Still not as bad as "mini-skirts for men" articles that came out a few years ago. That was when I finally realized that some parts of this nation have become hopeless.

Posted by: Soona at January 20, 2015 05:39 PM (qbgxo)

118

1,001 ways to re-gift your crochet throw blanket.

Posted by: artisanal 'ette at January 20, 2015 05:39 PM (IXrOn)

119 Also, if you ever wore bell-bottom jeans--voluntarily, not because you were 5 and your mother forced you--you've forfeited your right to mock anyone else's sartorial choices.

Posted by: HR needs donuts at January 20, 2015 05:39 PM (ZKzrr)

120 Well, that's turning me into a lesbian.

Posted by: Dusty at January 20, 2015 05:38 PM (0rpac)


A little mood music:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ptC9N9YJ24Y

Posted by: The Uncroched Hat at January 20, 2015 05:39 PM (0Ew3K)

121 ...they're sharts

I thought a shart was a fart with "body".

Posted by: Clutch Cargo at January 20, 2015 05:40 PM (sH832)

122 If you're going to knit underwear, maybe something with some testicular support so I don't need to manspread. A couple of nutsacks...


And a loop or something that I could tighten for those occasions where I don't want to be dangling.


Oh, and a metal cup. Because if I'm going to wear something like this, I'd expect to get kicked in the balls a lot.

Posted by: Stateless Infidel at January 20, 2015 05:40 PM (AC0lD)

123 @94 I was about to post something to that effect! Mindtwin.*looks at junior a little more suspiciously**puts on tinfoil hat*
--------------

Must be that shared religion thing.


Posted by: junior at January 20, 2015 05:40 PM (UWFpX)

124 its what ISIS wears under their man burkas

Posted by: ThunderB, Sharia Compliance Officer at January 20, 2015 05:40 PM (zOTsN)

125 Private Pyle who told you to dork that doily?

Posted by: SergeantWTF at January 20, 2015 05:40 PM (DL2i+)

126 It's like someone recycled their old granny's quilts...that or they lost their pants in a horrific bear attack at their rented cabin and had to make do.

Hipsters, doing their best to out-twee one another. To you hipsters, you have my congratulations. To civilization, you have my condolences.


Posted by: LizLem at January 20, 2015 05:40 PM (yRwC8)

127 And this kids is what you will grow up to look like if you continue to eat Kaboom cereal.

Posted by: weirdflunkyonatablet at January 20, 2015 05:40 PM (5jKwU)

128 Are they an undergarment? I wonder if they are magic?

Posted by: Willard Romney at January 20, 2015 05:40 PM (XzRw1)

129 I am judging the gender by the hands and knees

far left and right are ladies

middle two are gay boyfriends


Middle two are women.......

Posted by: rickb223 at January 20, 2015 05:40 PM (Fjr+q)

130

The United Colors of Benetton - on drugs.

Posted by: artisanal 'ette at January 20, 2015 05:40 PM (IXrOn)

131 Mods, I hate to say this, but TangoNine may have gone off the rails over in the other thread . . .

Posted by: filbert at January 20, 2015 05:40 PM (h6Mpm)

132 I believe Ace is just lowering expectations for the SOTU

Posted by: Vashta Nerada at January 20, 2015 05:41 PM (2ePOO)

133 Why does its look like the sky is surrounded by basket weave? It has suddenly become very hot and I think I spy flames in the distance.

but looking on the bright side, at least such things allow you to easily winnow ou tthe guys who are just unacceptable.

Sigh.

Posted by: chique d'afrique (the artist formerly known as african chick) at January 20, 2015 05:41 PM (oa/c7)

134 Also, if you ever wore bell-bottom jeans--voluntarily, not because you were 5 and your mother forced you--you've forfeited your right to mock anyone else's sartorial choices.

-
You leave my Nehru jacket alone!

Posted by: The Great White Snark at January 20, 2015 05:41 PM (XUKZU)

135 Dear God!


Just how ghey is the HQ going to get today?



No "accidental" fisting pictures, please.

Posted by: naturalfake at January 20, 2015 05:41 PM (0cMkb)

136 Nah, the pretentious level of this is merely a 6 or 7, compared to the pretentiousness of claiming to read "To Kill A Mockingbird" to a 1 month old. Which rings in at eleventy billion.

Posted by: nnptcgrad at January 20, 2015 05:41 PM (Opyrm)

137 "It's a shame The Dorcus Line of Menswear (cf. Lileks, of course) isn't being updated anymore...


Posted by: Additional Blond Agent"
I was just thinking that...but it looks like this *is* the continuation of the Dorcus Line, or of Seventies fashion in general. And having lived through the Seventies once, I really don't want to see it again.

Posted by: Annalucia at January 20, 2015 05:41 PM (a5bF3)

138
Cripes! I thought MY legs were hairy.

http://tinyurl.com/k3gnwby

Posted by: maddogg at January 20, 2015 05:41 PM (xWW96)

139 This looks like the start of some horrible gay granny porn movie.

Posted by: wooga at January 20, 2015 05:41 PM (Rg/iI)

140
short plus art is shart

they're sharts

any other use of the word is purely coincidental

Posted by: ThunderB, Sharia Compliance Officer at January 20, 2015 05:41 PM (zOTsN)

141 Also, if you ever wore bell-bottom jeans--voluntarily, not because you
were 5 and your mother forced you--you've forfeited your right to mock
anyone else's sartorial choices.


It was the 1970's!

Shutup!

Posted by: Additional Blond Agent at January 20, 2015 05:41 PM (PMGbu)

142 Cat toys for spinsters.

I say this because I care about your health--please stop huffing spray paint.

Posted by: HR needs donuts at January 20, 2015 05:41 PM (ZKzrr)

143

Nah, no men and women there.

We are in the Androgynous Zone here folks.

Posted by: artisanal 'ette at January 20, 2015 05:41 PM (IXrOn)

144 The only thing that could make these shorts better is if there were beer cans crocheted in.

Posted by: Trunk Monkey at January 20, 2015 05:42 PM (fLKzW)

145 Islam's Conquest of the West: Tragedy, or Mercy Killing?

Posted by: Brother Cavil, Unrepresented at January 20, 2015 05:43 PM (DT3rQ)

146

It's like watching an episode of Black Mirror.

Posted by: artisanal 'ette at January 20, 2015 05:43 PM (IXrOn)

147 wouldn't it, like stick out through the holes?

Function first is the hallmark of a great society.

Form over function is country that produces this

Posted by: Grumpyguy at January 20, 2015 05:43 PM (6OScs)

148 wouldn't it, like stick out through the holes?

Function first is the hallmark of a great society.

Form over function is country that produces this

Posted by: Grumpyguy at January 20, 2015 05:43 PM (6OScs)

149
Same complaint as in the last thread--where is that errant fuck I'm compelled to give here?

Little rascal is pissing me off.

Posted by: irongrampa at January 20, 2015 05:43 PM (jeCnD)

150 Still not as bad as "mini-skirts for men" articles that came out a few years ago


Utilikilts?

Posted by: rickb223 at January 20, 2015 05:43 PM (Fjr+q)

151 115 It's a koolaid test for sorting purposes. No other answer.

Posted by: Gross Busters at January 20, 2015 05:39 PM (Up6g7)




It's fashion's way of saying "I'm a disease vector."

Posted by: Jay Guevara at January 20, 2015 05:43 PM (oKE6c)

152 Can you pee through them without taking them off?

Posted by: Thin veneer of civility at January 20, 2015 05:43 PM (XzRw1)

153 /turns to Horde

ok so, here's what we do:

kick in the door (it's not like these douches own guns) and we rob them.

on 3.

1.... 2....

Posted by: TangoNine at January 20, 2015 05:43 PM (x3YFz)

154 When they start showing up on the shelves at Wallyworld and Targhey I'll worry.

Posted by: Hank at January 20, 2015 05:44 PM (EU/xj)

155 They may be real shorts, but not worn by Real Men.

Posted by: Diogenes at January 20, 2015 05:44 PM (08Znv)

156 I see your pretentiousness and raise you.
I will read "The Vagina Monologues" to an 80 year old male turtle.

Posted by: wooga at January 20, 2015 05:44 PM (Rg/iI)

157 Anyone remember "Humiliated Easy Boyfriends"?

http://tinyurl.com/ow4ndoc

Posted by: bananaDream at January 20, 2015 05:27 PM (vLk7c)
YESS

Posted by: LizLem at January 20, 2015 05:44 PM (yRwC8)

158 Can you pee through them without taking them off?

Posted by: Thin veneer of civility at January 20, 2015 05:43 PM (XzRw1)


Well ya know, there is only way to find out

Posted by: Nevergiveup at January 20, 2015 05:44 PM (nzKvP)

159 Same complaint as in the last thread--where is that errant fuck I'm compelled to give here?

Don't ask me, mine committed suicide two years ago.

Posted by: Brother Cavil, Unrepresented at January 20, 2015 05:44 PM (DT3rQ)

160 Same complaint as in the last thread--where is that errant fuck I'm compelled to give here?

Little rascal is pissing me off.

Posted by: irongrampa at January 20, 2015 05:43 PM (jeCnD)


Getting a rise out of you?

(Sorry, sorry, sorry . . .)

Posted by: filbert at January 20, 2015 05:45 PM (h6Mpm)

161 Can you pee through them without taking them off?

Posted by: Thin veneer of civility at January 20, 2015 05:43 PM (XzRw1)
********
You actually undo your slacks to pee?

Posted by: Trunk Monkey at January 20, 2015 05:45 PM (fLKzW)

162 /turns to Horde

ok so, here's what we do:

kick in the door (it's not like these douches own guns) and we rob them.

on 3.

1.... 2....


Posted by: TangoNine at January 20, 2015 05:43 PM


What...you think any of these man-children have jobs and possessions worth robbing?

Posted by: RedMindBlueState at January 20, 2015 05:45 PM (knoK7)

163 Must be that shared religion thing.







Posted by: junior at January 20, 2015 05:40 PM (UWFpX)

Ha, must be! What ARE they putting into those jello salads, I wonder...

Posted by: LizLem at January 20, 2015 05:45 PM (yRwC8)

164 How I'd Advertise:

"These whimsical panties are sublime for skipping about the bath house, enjoying a hazelnut latte at Steve's; or simply parading around the living room with an undeserved sense of enlightened glee.
-100% cotton.

$49.99-$79.99

Posted by: ColdBeer1 (Slap) (T) at January 20, 2015 05:45 PM (16bOT)

165 Looks about as comfortable as Ralphie's bunny outfit in The Christmas Story.

Posted by: Roy at January 20, 2015 05:46 PM (fWLrt)

166 wouldn't it, like stick out through the holes?

-
It's gonna blow!

Posted by: The Great White Snark at January 20, 2015 05:46 PM (XUKZU)

167 Anyone who eats green bean casserole and green jello would wear those shorts. Just a natural fact.

Posted by: maddogg at January 20, 2015 05:46 PM (xWW96)

168 Also, if you ever wore bell-bottom jeans

I really should destroy all the photographic evidence.

Posted by: DaveA at January 20, 2015 05:46 PM (DL2i+)

169 /turns to Horde

ok so, here's what we do:

kick in the door



And throw in grenades.

Posted by: rickb223 at January 20, 2015 05:46 PM (Fjr+q)

170 an you pee through them without taking them off?

Posted by: Thin veneer of civility
-----------------------------

Yes, but only if you squat.

Posted by: Roy at January 20, 2015 05:46 PM (fWLrt)

171 What...you think any of these man-children have jobs and possessions worth robbing?

Posted by: RedMindBlueState at January 20, 2015 05:45 PM (knoK7)


well, we can take their Katy Perry pics off the wall over their beds. Maybe that'll make 'em man the hell up.

Posted by: TangoNine at January 20, 2015 05:47 PM (x3YFz)

172 Fortunately they used gluten free and artisinal yarn.

Posted by: Dack Thrombosis at January 20, 2015 05:47 PM (oFCZn)

173 >>> Are they an undergarment? I wonder if they are magic?

Junk cozy?

Posted by: LizLem at January 20, 2015 05:47 PM (yRwC8)

174 I forgot where I read it but someone was saying that if you are a 25-40 male hetero, have a stable job, own a home, you will have to beat the whores off with a stick. Even if said male is married the women will be forced to share him because the pickins are slim.

Hasn't been my experience. Of course, Colorado Springs is a weird town for dating, IMHO. I do seem to recall better luck when I was staying in Portland.

Posted by: Colorado Alex at January 20, 2015 05:47 PM (10ydV)

175 @167 Anyone who eats green bean casserole and green jello would wear those shorts. Just a natural fact.
------------------

Mormon Mafia?

Yes, I'd like to send a hitman to the following address. And make it painful...

Posted by: junior at January 20, 2015 05:47 PM (UWFpX)

176 >>155 They may be real shorts, but not worn by Real Men.

Depends®.

Posted by: Dr. Varno at January 20, 2015 05:47 PM (fIv/H)

177 So we've already got crocheted skivvies and deflated balls, shaping up to be another year to be forgotten.

Posted by: Lincolntf at January 20, 2015 05:47 PM (2cS/G)

178 Page 3 gone and we get this.Hell is upon us.

Posted by: steevy at January 20, 2015 05:47 PM (v5UtH)

179 Islam's Conquest of the West: Tragedy, or Mercy Killing?
Posted by: Brother Cavil, Unrepresented at January 20, 2015 05:43 PM (DT3rQ)


--------------------------------------------


That's actually a good question.

Posted by: Soona at January 20, 2015 05:47 PM (qbgxo)

180 "Anyone who eats green bean casserole"



Not this shit again.

Posted by: Ricardo Kill at January 20, 2015 05:47 PM (LA7Cm)

181 100% sustainably grown, organiccotton.

$49.99-$79.99 79.99-$99.99
Posted by: ColdBeer1 (Slap) (T) at January 20, 2015 05:45 PM


FIFY

Posted by: RedMindBlueState at January 20, 2015 05:47 PM (knoK7)

182 And throw in grenades.

Posted by: rickb223 at January 20, 2015 05:46 PM (Fjr+q)

9-bangers! have a case of them I'm waiting to use.

Posted by: TangoNine at January 20, 2015 05:48 PM (x3YFz)

183 So the sucky obama economy has reduced us to making shorts from grandma's afghans? I think that's taking reusing and recycling to a whole new, unacceptable level.

Posted by: elaine at January 20, 2015 05:48 PM (Y0Piu)

184 Unasked question:

What the hell did Ace do to get on an e-mail list that THIS gets sent out to?

Posted by: filbert at January 20, 2015 05:48 PM (h6Mpm)

185 Crochet is so fun. But there is really very little that can be done with it other than afgans and scrafs... This looks like the time I tried to make a sweater for my grandson, knit, don't crochet for boys. Crochet is too girly.

Posted by: petunia at January 20, 2015 05:48 PM (M1eBo)

186 Also, if you ever wore bell-bottom jeans--voluntarily, not because you were 5 and your mother forced you--you've forfeited your right to mock anyone else's sartorial choices.


Unless it falls under the exception DD clause.

Posted by: Colorado Alex at January 20, 2015 05:49 PM (10ydV)

187 well, we can take their Katy Perry pics off the wall over their beds. Maybe that'll make 'em man the hell up.
Posted by: TangoNine at January 20, 2015 05:47 PM


I'm in.

Posted by: RedMindBlueState at January 20, 2015 05:49 PM (knoK7)

188 164 How I'd Advertise:

"These whimsical panties are sublime for skipping about the bath house, enjoying a hazelnut latte at Steve's; or simply parading around the living room with an undeserved sense of enlightened glee.
-100% cotton.

$49.99-$79.99
Posted by: ColdBeer1 (Slap) (T) at January 20, 2015 05:45 PM (16bOT)

Nah, either the price has to be only a few dollars, or a few hundred. $50 would be too mainstream for hipsters. Sell them as "reclaimed retro" for $3000. And mention they are a limited release. Watch them get snapped up like cronuts.

Posted by: nnptcgrad at January 20, 2015 05:49 PM (Opyrm)

189 ok so, here's what we do:



kick in the door




And throw in grenades.

Posted by: rickb223 at January 20, 2015 05:46 PM (Fjr+q)


Is this the SOTU thread already?

Posted by: Jay Guevara at January 20, 2015 05:49 PM (oKE6c)

190 >>>The only thing that could make these shorts better is if there were beer cans crocheted in.<<<

Aluminum codpiece for the men, pop-topper pull-tabs for the women!

Posted by: Fritz at January 20, 2015 05:49 PM (dVmLD)

191 145
That made me laugh. A kernel of truth in every joke.

Posted by: Bob from table9 at January 20, 2015 05:49 PM (WNERA)

192 Also, if you ever wore bell-bottom jeans

I really should destroy all the photographic evidence.
Posted by: DaveA at January 20, 2015 05:46 PM (DL2i+)


----------------------------------------


Already have.


Posted by: Soona at January 20, 2015 05:50 PM (qbgxo)

193 You realize, of course, that gendered clothing is a societal construct.

This fashion beautifully deconstructs our oppressive, societal-imposed gender norms and liberates the working class.

BTW, down with boobies on Page 3.

Posted by: Screeching feminist harpy at January 20, 2015 05:50 PM (HBAcW)

194 O M G. Those guys are whipped for sure.
Though....
They look like something Dreads Boy from yesterday's ONT might feel comfy in.

Posted by: Tuna at January 20, 2015 05:50 PM (JSovD)

195 Crochet Rockets?

Posted by: the guy who typos sockpuppets at January 20, 2015 05:50 PM (zBYDH)

196 @113 @90 I forgot where I read it but someone was saying that if you are a 25-40 male hetero, have a stable job, own a home, you will have to beat the whores off with a stick. Even if said male is married the women will be forced to share him because the pickins are slim.
------------------

Isaiah 4:1
--------------------

And just because it fits so perfectly, here's the text -

"And in that day seven women shall take hold of one man, saying, We will eat our own bread, and wear our own apparel: only let us be called by thy name, to take away our reproach."

Posted by: junior at January 20, 2015 05:50 PM (UWFpX)

197 My testicles retracted just from seeing that picture.
How can you tell if your life partner is trying to emasculate you?

She buys you a pair of crochet shorts.

Posted by: Northernlurker at January 20, 2015 05:50 PM (xNkaN)

198 Why are the standing like that?

Posted by: the guy who typos sockpuppets at January 20, 2015 05:51 PM (zBYDH)

199 I'm going to ask Ms. Veneer if she can craft up a pair using 550 cord.

Posted by: Thin veneer of civility at January 20, 2015 05:51 PM (XzRw1)

200 181 100% sustainably grown, organiccotton.

$49.99-$79.99 79.99-$99.99
Posted by: ColdBeer1 (Slap) (T) at January 20, 2015 05:45 PM


FIFY

Posted by: RedMindBlueState at January 20, 2015 05:47 PM (knoK7)




100% sustainably grown, organic, fair trade, free range cotton.

Posted by: Jay Guevara at January 20, 2015 05:51 PM (oKE6c)

201 "we get this. Hell is upon us."



This just might fall under Chaos.


Posted by: Ricardo Kill at January 20, 2015 05:51 PM (LA7Cm)

202 Lovey's dead first husband's bank account bought me a pair of those to go along with the scarf I wore to the NE Patriots' football match.

Posted by: Secretariat of State Kerry at January 20, 2015 05:51 PM (LKBn6)

203 OBAMA DONOR WHO MADE RACIST JINDAL COMMENT BOOTED FROM MSNBC

Surprised he did not get his own show

Posted by: Nevergiveup at January 20, 2015 05:52 PM (nzKvP)

204 Now that is some Kaboom in your pants

Posted by: Big Mike the steam shovel at January 20, 2015 05:52 PM (W6iIX)

205 http://lileks.com/institute/70s/sears1973/10.html

Posted by: Anderson Cooper's Smoked Sausages at January 20, 2015 05:52 PM (MbqmP)

206 Crochet is so fun. But there is really very little that can be done with it other than afgans and scrafs...

Amigurumi!

Posted by: HR needs donuts at January 20, 2015 05:52 PM (ZKzrr)

207 They're European!

Posted by: Jerry Seinfeld at January 20, 2015 05:52 PM (JpprL)

208 That isn't even a modeling pose you posing poseurs!

Posted by: the guy who typos sockpuppets at January 20, 2015 05:52 PM (zBYDH)

209 every dude here is thinking: how can I get mr happy through the crochet?

Posted by: TangoNine at January 20, 2015 05:52 PM (x3YFz)

210 If you click the link you find they come in 2 sizes, "Given Up Hope" and "Please Shoot Me".

Posted by: Dr Spank at January 20, 2015 05:52 PM (Olokk)

211 181 100% sustainably grown, organiccotton.

$49.99-$79.99 79.99-$99.99
Posted by: ColdBeer1 (Slap) (T) at January 20, 2015 05:45 PM


FIFY

Posted by: RedMindBlueState at January 20, 2015 05:47 PM (knoK7)



Order now, and we'll throw in a free bottle of Nair!

Posted by: Jay Guevara at January 20, 2015 05:52 PM (oKE6c)

212 Is The Prophet Ace going to do a live blog of SOTU?



Posted by: Nip Sip at January 20, 2015 05:52 PM (0FSuD)

213 He might drunk blog it.

Posted by: maddogg at January 20, 2015 05:53 PM (xWW96)

214 I could do a crochet nut sack if it's warm enough.

warm cajones = good

Posted by: TangoNine at January 20, 2015 05:53 PM (x3YFz)

215 Now if they were crocheted out of steel wool.

Posted by: Northernlurker at January 20, 2015 05:53 PM (xNkaN)

216 I hope to be immersed in some Netflix binge by the time The Smarm Of The Unctuous Address begins, I'll periodically check a liveblog, mainly for punch lines.

Posted by: Lincolntf at January 20, 2015 05:53 PM (2cS/G)

217 So three new podcasts dropped this weekend: AOS with peabody award winning Nick Searcy, ATC and BCochran, and PO'd with Dennis Miller and Adam Carolla. Anyone know if the latter was any good? The first two must be, obviously, how could they not, the third sounds intriguing. Moron review always appreciated.

Posted by: LizLem at January 20, 2015 05:53 PM (yRwC8)

218 "Also, if you ever wore bell-bottom jeans--voluntarily, not because you were 5 and your mother forced you"

Uncle Sam had something to say about bell bottoms for years...

Posted by: anon a mouse at January 20, 2015 05:54 PM (/jpU8)

219 213 It isn't 5 oclock here but I'm ok with it. What are the rules?

Posted by: Bob from table9 at January 20, 2015 05:54 PM (WNERA)

220 213 He might drunk blog it.
Posted by: maddogg at January 20, 2015 05:53 PM (xWW96)

There's another way to get through it?

Posted by: nnptcgrad at January 20, 2015 05:54 PM (Opyrm)

221 let's talk about real men !
just spied Nick Searcy on Return to Lonesome Dove.

Posted by: north and judd at January 20, 2015 05:54 PM (OAyZM)

222 since we seem determined to redo the seventies I'm going to do all the drugs

Posted by: alexthechick at January 20, 2015 05:54 PM (Ul37N)

223 So we've gone from a smart military blog to a fashion obsessed queer blog?

Posted by: Iblis at January 20, 2015 05:55 PM (9221z)

224 Amigurumi!

Posted by: HR needs donuts at January 20, 2015 05:52 PM (ZKzrr)



What would be the Horde mascot? An Ewok with a Spades eye-patch?

Posted by: CM at January 20, 2015 05:55 PM (0NdlF)

225 LOLing over the crochet shorts. Even the 70s were not that bad.
Maybe it's granny's condition for continuing the trust fund allowance.

Posted by: @votermom at January 20, 2015 05:55 PM (cbfNE)

226 His name is Richard Levine.

Pennsylvanians?... Meet your newly appointed Physician General:

http://tinyurl.com/krt8vpq

Posted by: franksalterego at January 20, 2015 05:55 PM (Fh+WR)

227 219213 It isn't 5 oclock here but I'm ok with it. What are the rules?Posted by: Bob from table9 at January 20, 2015 05:54 PM (WNERA) I don't have a clue. I haven't watched a State of the Union address in six years. Mostly the state of the union sucks, and I don't need to listen to any of Zero's crapola to know it.

Posted by: maddogg at January 20, 2015 05:56 PM (xWW96)

228 The first Hipster I see wearing these is going to get the look of doom!

Posted by: Minnfidel at January 20, 2015 05:56 PM (KBIDy)

229 The first Hipster I see wearing these is going to get the look of doom!

Posted by: Minnfidel at January 20, 2015 05:56 PM (KBIDy)

230 221 let's talk about real men !
just spied Nick Searcy on Return to Lonesome Dove.
Posted by: north and judd at January 20, 2015 05:54 PM (OAyZM)

Nick Searcy's wife was the other plot hole in Cast Away.

Posted by: the guy who typos sockpuppets at January 20, 2015 05:56 PM (zBYDH)

231 Pajama Boy wupped all their asses.


At the same time

Posted by: Village Idiot's Apprentice at January 20, 2015 05:56 PM (GYpiw)

232 221 let's talk about real men !
just spied Nick Searcy on Return to Lonesome Dove.
Posted by: north and judd at January 20, 2015 05:54 PM (OAyZM)

Nick Searcy's wife was the other plot hole in Cast Away.

Posted by: the guy who typos sockpuppets at January 20, 2015 05:56 PM (zBYDH)

233 215 Now if they were crocheted out of steel wool.

Posted by: Northernlurker at January 20, 2015 05:53 PM (xNkaN)

-------------


Barbed wire.

Posted by: Jay Guevara at January 20, 2015 05:56 PM (oKE6c)

234 I notice several of the cough, cough..men are also sporting cute little sweaters. Sorry we can see the entire photo.

Posted by: Tuna at January 20, 2015 05:56 PM (JSovD)

235 So we've gone from a smart military blog to a fashion obsessed queer blog?
Posted by: Iblis at January 20, 2015 05:55 PM (9221z)

Since they repealed don't ask, don't tell. Do you think my ass is getting big?

Posted by: Nevergiveup at January 20, 2015 05:57 PM (nzKvP)

236 "http://tinyurl.com/krt8vpq"



What the entire fcuk is that...?

Posted by: Ricardo Kill at January 20, 2015 05:57 PM (LA7Cm)

237 No trigger warning? C'mon, Ace!

Posted by: Turd Ferguson at January 20, 2015 05:57 PM (VAsIq)

238 Alan Alda is the left's ideal real man.

Posted by: maddogg at January 20, 2015 05:57 PM (xWW96)

239 "since we seem determined to redo the seventies I'm going to do all the drug."
-Posted by: alexthechick at January 20, 2015 05:54 PM (Ul37N)

If you took the purple microdot, please report to the safety tent for your comforting and orange slices.

Posted by: ColdBeer1 (Slap) (T) at January 20, 2015 05:57 PM (16bOT)

240 "So we've gone from a smart military blog "

Nah, some of us old timers recall when bell bottoms was a good thing...

*walks off humming Mitch Miller tunes*

Posted by: anon a mouse at January 20, 2015 05:57 PM (/jpU8)

241 226 His name is Richard Levine.

Pennsylvanians?... Meet your newly appointed Physician General:

http://tinyurl.com/krt8vpq
Posted by: franksalterego at January 20, 2015 05:55 PM (Fh+WR)

My better judgement says do not click. But I am a moron and in pa...

Posted by: the guy who typos sockpuppets at January 20, 2015 05:57 PM (zBYDH)

242 Posted by: franksalterego at January 20, 2015 05:55 PM (Fh+WR)

That freaky chick is a dude?

Posted by: weirdflunkyonatablet at January 20, 2015 05:58 PM (5jKwU)

243 What would be the Horde mascot? An Ewok with a Spades eye-patch?
Posted by: CM at January 20, 2015 05:55 PM (0NdlF)


And crocheted too-tight boy shorts.

Posted by: filbert at January 20, 2015 05:58 PM (h6Mpm)

244 NICK SEARCY'S OTHER WIFE WAS THE WHOLE PLOT OF CASTAWAY?!

Posted by: AL SHARPTON?! at January 20, 2015 05:58 PM (MbqmP)

245 And just because it fits so perfectly, here's the text -



"And in that day seven women shall take hold of one man, saying, We
will eat our own bread, and wear our own apparel: only let us be called
by thy name, to take away our reproach."



Posted by: junior at January 20, 2015 05:50 PM (UWFpX)

Sounds like my singles ward...
I keeed, I keeed! (kinda.) Crazy how the bible manages to apply to modern times, right? Whoda thunk.

Posted by: LizLem at January 20, 2015 05:58 PM (yRwC8)

246 This is gonna be a long 4 years

Posted by: the guy who typos sockpuppets at January 20, 2015 05:58 PM (zBYDH)

247 I think my dear departed MIL had a blanket in the same pattern as the second one from the right.

Posted by: Northernlurker at January 20, 2015 05:58 PM (xNkaN)

248 Grandma sweat factories, back in business!

Posted by: artisanal 'ette at January 20, 2015 05:27 PM
...........I LOL'ed.

Look here Gertrude, you want your daily ration of Metamucil and raisin toast! We need 6 more squares by 9:00!!!! Step on it Granny!

Posted by: Minnfidel at January 20, 2015 05:58 PM (KBIDy)

249 The turtle is on FNC giving us hard hitting commentary on the SOTU.

Posted by: Soona at January 20, 2015 05:58 PM (qbgxo)

250 Since they repealed don't ask, don't tell. Do you think my ass is getting big?
Posted by: Nevergiveup at January 20, 2015 05:57 PM (nzKvP)


*eyes appreciatively*

Looks good to me, big guy.

Posted by: filbert at January 20, 2015 05:59 PM (h6Mpm)

251 "I'm going to do all the drugs"

*starts looking around for lost 70's memories*

Posted by: anon a mouse at January 20, 2015 05:59 PM (/jpU8)

252 I should also point out the reason I wear so much black is because it's the adult version of granimals

Posted by: alexthechick at January 20, 2015 05:59 PM (Ul37N)

253 I'd love to see those guys walk in to my local American Legion on a Saturday night. The ass kickening would be swift and just!

Posted by: Minnfidel at January 20, 2015 06:00 PM (KBIDy)

254 If there hasn't been a thread winner yet, my submission is....

Hot Air is selling stuff now?

Posted by: Stateless Infidel at January 20, 2015 06:00 PM (AC0lD)

255 So we've gone from a smart military blog to a fashion obsessed queer blog?

Posted by: Iblis at January 20, 2015 05:55 PM (9221z)

Don't ask, and we won't tell.

Posted by: Teh Cobs at January 20, 2015 06:00 PM (yRwC8)

256 You know, I do need a skosh more room than most men.

Posted by: Tom Clancy at January 20, 2015 06:00 PM (8MjqI)

257 Who's up for some macrame wall hangings?

Posted by: anon a mouse at January 20, 2015 06:00 PM (/jpU8)

258 I could do a crochet nut sack if it's warm enough.

warm cajones = good

----

I know a guy who's pretty handy....

Posted by: Presn't Obama at January 20, 2015 06:01 PM (VAsIq)

259 By the time Zero and his crab lice leave office, that will become standard BDU's for all our (dis)armed forces.

Posted by: maddogg at January 20, 2015 06:01 PM (xWW96)

260 @245 Sounds like my singles ward...
I keeed, I keeed! (kinda.) Crazy how the bible manages to apply to modern times, right? Whoda thunk.
---------------------

Mine's still just at the whining stage (at least according to our old RS President). The sisters haven't yet gotten to the point of actually getting proactive about the whole thing. They'd still rather sit and whine while they wait for the right guy to call them up.

Posted by: junior at January 20, 2015 06:01 PM (UWFpX)

261 All right now, this really ISshoving it my face.

Posted by: Billy Crystal at January 20, 2015 06:01 PM (6n332)

262 259 By the time Zero and his crab lice leave office, that will become standard BDU's for all our (dis)armed forces.
Posted by: maddogg at January 20, 2015 06:01 PM (xWW96)


___________________________

The next president is hoping the Brits come back and burn it down again.

Posted by: Bob from table9 at January 20, 2015 06:02 PM (WNERA)

263 Bad news: The Sweet Asteroid Of Death (SMOD mini me) scheduled for 1/26/15 is expected to miss by 3x Earth to Moon distances. I think it's real name is "2004 BL86".
Write it taunty letters.

Posted by: New Phone at January 20, 2015 06:02 PM (EoKem)

264 So three new podcasts dropped this weekend: AOS with peabody award winning Nick Searcy, ATC and BCochran, and PO'd with Dennis Miller and Adam Carolla. Anyone know if the latter was any good? The first two must be, obviously, how could they not, the third sounds intriguing. Moron review always appreciated.
Posted by: LizLem at January 20, 2015 05:53 PM (yRwC


I honestly thought the Nick Searcy podcast wasn't really very good compared to other AoS pods. It just wasn't clicking.

The ATC/BC pod has promise, but it was pretty obviously a first-effort and, I dunno, needs a moderator or something. ATC can be a bit overwhelming. Who knew?

Haven't listened to the other pod.

Posted by: filbert at January 20, 2015 06:02 PM (h6Mpm)

265 I should also point out the reason I wear so much black is because it's the adult version of granimals

Posted by: alexthechick at January 20, 2015 05:59 PM (Ul37N)


girls like bad boys.

guys like bad girls.

Black is couture chic always.

Posted by: TangoNine at January 20, 2015 06:02 PM (x3YFz)

266 That's disturbing.

Posted by: jewells45 trying to keep from going crazy at January 20, 2015 06:03 PM (/IQip)

267 ONN: Biden Arrives Early To Set Up State Of The Union Fog Machine

I only just realized this was a parody headline.

Posted by: the guy who typos sockpuppets at January 20, 2015 06:03 PM (zBYDH)

268 Those bastards stole my Grandma's afghans!

Posted by: Drill Thrawl at January 20, 2015 06:03 PM (xtpUs)

269 Look, y'all need to get this straight...
Its Peabody Award winning, international film and tv star, Nick Searcy.
**goes back to lounging in my perfectly heated pool**

Posted by: Art Mullen's Marshal stiffy at January 20, 2015 06:03 PM (LKBn6)

270 fyi

Joni Ernst is only 44yo

Posted by: Big Mike the steam shovel at January 20, 2015 06:04 PM (W6iIX)

271 Honest Obama...."The State of the Union is...ummm...er...well, we lie at 4 strokes on a par-5 hole, and we're in a sand trap, facing a pond, 300 yards from the pin, with only a ball scoop left in the bag. So not great."

Posted by: Lincolntf at January 20, 2015 06:04 PM (2cS/G)

272 261 All right now, this really ISshoving it my face.
Posted by: Billy Crystal at January 20, 2015 06:01 PM (6n332)

Ya know maybe we need to return to earlier standards like when Rob and Laura slept in separate beds. Then it's not being shoved in anybody's face.

Posted by: Northernlurker at January 20, 2015 06:04 PM (xNkaN)

273 >>261 All right now, this really ISshoving it my face.
Posted by: Billy Crystal at January 20, 2015 06:01 PM (6n332)


#icantbreathe

Posted by: Dr. Varno at January 20, 2015 06:04 PM (fIv/H)

274 252

Black Clothes Matter

Posted by: Tuna at January 20, 2015 06:04 PM (JSovD)

275 me? I like (and married) Lagurtha.

I needed a shield maiden as a bride and got one.

Posted by: TangoNine at January 20, 2015 06:05 PM (x3YFz)

276 I'll come back when the thread gets, ahem, straightened out.

Posted by: Turd Ferguson at January 20, 2015 06:05 PM (VAsIq)

277 A poor example of Apres Gaucho butt sex wear.

Posted by: J. Peterman at January 20, 2015 06:05 PM (XzRw1)

278 This is exactly how I envisioned the evolution of the Comfyballs fashion line.

Posted by: Fritz at January 20, 2015 06:06 PM (dVmLD)

279 270
fyi



Joni Ernst is only 44yo

and she can suck likes she's still 18.

Posted by: Mitch McConnell at January 20, 2015 06:06 PM (XzRw1)

280 All Special Forces will get to wear three color crocheted beanies with a spinner on top.

Posted by: maddogg at January 20, 2015 06:06 PM (xWW96)

281 They don't come for you they come for your kids.

Posted by: Bob from table9 at January 20, 2015 06:07 PM (WNERA)

282 I think somebody needs to convince the SCOAMF to wear these for the SOTU.

Posted by: Northernlurker at January 20, 2015 06:07 PM (xNkaN)

283 This is exactly how I envisioned the evolution of the Comfyballs fashion line.


Posted by: Fritz at January 20, 2015 06:06 PM (dVmLD)


hey... if my junk is warm, I'm happy.

Posted by: TangoNine at January 20, 2015 06:07 PM (x3YFz)

284 Send them to Afghanistan!

Posted by: Minnfidel at January 20, 2015 06:07 PM (KBIDy)

285 281 They don't come for you they come for your kids.

-----------

It's a damned lie!

Posted by: Harry Reid, Perfectly Upstanding Citizen at January 20, 2015 06:08 PM (VAsIq)

286 Bad news: The Sweet Asteroid Of Death (SMOD mini me) scheduled for 1/26/15 is expected to miss by 3x Earth to Moon distances. I think it's real name is "2004 BL86".

Posted by: New Phone at January 20, 2015 06:02 PM (EoKem)

-----

Can we at least get some major tidal forces that wreck Washington, D.C.? Or is it too small?

Posted by: Hurricane LaFawnduh at January 20, 2015 06:08 PM (HBAcW)

287 I think somebody needs to convince the SCOAMF to wear these for the SOTU.

Posted by: Northernlurker at January 20, 2015 06:07 PM (xNkaN)


That's for a special speech with Reggie...

Posted by: Barry "Short-Shorts" Obama at January 20, 2015 06:08 PM (0Ew3K)

288 I think somebody needs to convince the SCOAMF to wear these for the SOTU.
Posted by: Northernlurker at January 20, 2015 06:07 PM (xNkaN)


He'd never do it. That way we'd find out he became a eunuch during his years in Indonesia.

Hey, Barack, what you're eating? That's not dog!

Posted by: filbert at January 20, 2015 06:08 PM (h6Mpm)

289 3 pairs of socks:

feet, hands, cock and balls.

laugh if you want. But it's true.

Posted by: TangoNine at January 20, 2015 06:09 PM (x3YFz)

290 Biden, his macrame unfurled.

Posted by: Dr. Varno at January 20, 2015 06:09 PM (fIv/H)

291 286 Bad news: The Sweet Asteroid Of Death (SMOD mini me) scheduled for 1/26/15 is expected to miss by 3x Earth to Moon distances. I think it's real name is "2004 BL86".

Posted by: New Phone at January 20, 2015 06:02 PM (EoKem)


-----
Maybe we can lasso it in. I saw that in a movie once.

Posted by: Hurricane LaFawnduh at January 20, 2015 06:09 PM (HBAcW)

292 By the time Zero and his crab lice leave office, that will become standard BDU's for all our (dis)armed forces.


Drill will be two snaps and a twirl.

Posted by: rickb223 at January 20, 2015 06:10 PM (Fjr+q)

293 All Special Forces will get to wear three color crocheted beanies with a spinner on top.
Posted by: maddogg at January 20, 2015 06:06 PM (xWW96)


The propeller beanie is only for aviation...

Posted by: Colorado Alex at January 20, 2015 06:10 PM (10ydV)

294 Biden could never learn to crochet. He was in high school before he could peel his own bananna.

Posted by: maddogg at January 20, 2015 06:10 PM (xWW96)

295 I wonder if they make assless chaps.

Posted by: Soona at January 20, 2015 06:10 PM (qbgxo)

296 Sum Ting Wong. Ho Lee Fook. That is so....never fuckin mind.

Posted by: Chavez the Hugo at January 20, 2015 06:11 PM (ucDmr)

297 Your mockery means nothing to me.

I have several cashmere cock socks and I won't apologize for that.

Posted by: CozMark at January 20, 2015 06:11 PM (u761t)

298 Now if these were crafted into assless chaps I'd be totally down with it.

Nothing beta about chaps!

Posted by: All Hail Eris at January 20, 2015 06:11 PM (KH1sk)

299 Indeed. I freely admit that if I saw a man wearing crochet shorts, I would have to punch them in the face.

Posted by: deadrody at January 20, 2015 06:12 PM (meyeF)

300 Not just no, but Hell no. I now have Internet service at my house in Arizona. Lets see if it lets me post here.

Posted by: Alberta Oil Peon at January 20, 2015 06:12 PM (upitO)

301 Well, if you think the crocheted shorts are bad, don't look at the
Crochet Body Suit Onesie For Men on the same website.
http://tinyurl.com/lgarp2y


I'm going to go fondle some of my guns now.

Posted by: Thin veneer of civility at January 20, 2015 06:12 PM (XzRw1)

302 Black Clothes Matter

Posted by: Tuna at January 20, 2015 06:04 PM


.....Crocheted pants up! Don't toot!

Posted by: Minnfidel at January 20, 2015 06:13 PM (KBIDy)

303
two words: white cable-knit turtle-neck sweaters

Posted by: Reflective Alternate-Reality Soothsayer at January 20, 2015 06:13 PM (suql3)

304 Wieners.
Floppy wieners.

Posted by: george rr marrtin at January 20, 2015 06:13 PM (L6/+u)

305 Y'know how your college roommate would put a sock on the door to indicate "Do Not Disturb"? These shorts are similar, in that they send a clear message that they like it up the rear.

Posted by: Turd Ferguson at January 20, 2015 06:13 PM (VAsIq)

306 >>299 Indeed. I freely admit that if I saw a man wearing crochet shorts, I would have to punch them in the face.
Posted by: deadrody at January 20, 2015 06:12 PM (meyeF)


Even if he were just the passenger in a Prius.

Posted by: Bob from table9 at January 20, 2015 06:13 PM (WNERA)

307 Somebody already ask Gingy how much for a custom set of these shorts?

Posted by: fastfreefall at January 20, 2015 06:14 PM (pqOzY)

308 In full disclosure: I've worn nothing except underarmour undies and cold weather goodies over the last 14 years. In-theater or at home.

can't see that changing.

Posted by: TangoNine at January 20, 2015 06:14 PM (x3YFz)

309 >>Why are the standing like that?

Elephant walk. Guy on the right is doing it wrong.

Posted by: Aviator at January 20, 2015 06:14 PM (3rrMW)

310 Japans PM Defends Islam After ISIS Threatens To Behead Two Japanese Hostages Extremism And Islam Are Completely Different Things

Weasel Zippers

Yeah not so much. And PM just so we are clear, you 2 citizens are dead men, you do know that right? So no need to make a fool of yourself

Posted by: Nevergiveup at January 20, 2015 06:14 PM (nzKvP)

311 Yea, wearing those is a good way to get your ass kicked for you.

Posted by: Minnfidel at January 20, 2015 06:15 PM (KBIDy)

312 This guy does not want any punch in the FACE.

http://preview.tinyurl.com/notheseones

Posted by: SarahW at January 20, 2015 06:15 PM (Lbv/k)

313 Hey, did I luck out or what? A cool hash: up it O. What am I bid for this jewel of a hash?

Posted by: Alberta Oil Peon at January 20, 2015 06:15 PM (upitO)

314 I never had a college roommate put a sock on the door. They just went somewhere else to have sex, I assume,which I was grateful for. although we didn't discuss it.

Posted by: FenelonSpoke at January 20, 2015 06:16 PM (DXzRD)

315 I wonder if Chuck Norris has a set of those, certainly Chuck Johnson does.

Posted by: maddogg at January 20, 2015 06:16 PM (xWW96)

316 Did the models supply their own vagina wool for the crocheter?

Posted by: andycanuck at January 20, 2015 06:16 PM (L6/+u)

317 I meant the guy in the blue pants in the last picture.

Posted by: SarahW at January 20, 2015 06:16 PM (Lbv/k)

318 My G_d. Lacy Underalls are back!!!! I can't unsee that. Ever. Send them to Afghanistan. At least they will have hipster fashion going when they get beheaded.

Posted by: Minnfidel at January 20, 2015 06:16 PM (KBIDy)

319 Crotch and Crochet come from the same middle-French word "curescu" meaning "to nuzzle"."

Posted by: berberbilder at January 20, 2015 06:17 PM (8MjqI)

320 there was a place and time at which it was so cold I had on full MARPAT, and under that was 3 pairs of undies + leggings + 3 pairs of socks.

socks first, then leggings. thermodynamics is a mfr.

Posted by: TangoNine at January 20, 2015 06:17 PM (x3YFz)

321 I'm going to go fondle some of my guns now.
Posted by: Thin veneer of civility at January 20, 2015 06:12 PM (XzRw1)


---------------------------------------


After this excursion into AoSHQ "Gay Tuesday", I'm going to go out and throw bags of cement across the yard.

Posted by: Soona at January 20, 2015 06:17 PM (qbgxo)

322 Alberta Oil Peon at January 20, 2015 06:15 PM (upitO)

Yes, very cool hastag.

Posted by: FenelonSpoke at January 20, 2015 06:17 PM (DXzRD)

323 I've always found vagina fur always makes the best cockwarmer.

Posted by: maddogg at January 20, 2015 06:17 PM (xWW96)

324 BAM!

Posted by: David Serotta at January 20, 2015 06:18 PM (JpprL)

325 Just in time for Spring the all new line of hipster dong cozies!

Posted by: Minnfidel at January 20, 2015 06:18 PM (KBIDy)

326 Even the most drug addled '70's designer didn't come up with crochet shorts for men.

Powder blue leisure suits are the height of taste and refinement compared to this.

Today's blog theme must be the Left's continuing war against the testicles of straight men.

Posted by: Donna &&&&&& V. is still shellshocked at January 20, 2015 06:18 PM (+XMAD)

327 Rep. Mac Thornberry (R., Texas), the new chairman of the House Armed Services Committee, criticized the Obama administration on Tuesday after a report indicated that officials would be content with a settlement in the Syrian civil war that leaves President Bashar al-Assad in power.

Well to be honest, from the get go, I and others here said that as bad as Assad was, he was the best of a bed bunch and we should have been backing him from the get go. Someone should clue this R no nothing into that.

Posted by: Nevergiveup at January 20, 2015 06:19 PM (nzKvP)

328 Crochet shorts: a symptom of low T or a cause?

Posted by: Prince Ludwig the Indestructible at January 20, 2015 06:19 PM (GuwT9)

329 >>> Mine's still just at the whining stage (at least according to our old RS
President). The sisters haven't yet gotten to the point of actually
getting proactive about the whole thing. They'd still rather sit and
whine while they wait for the right guy to call them up.



Yeah, I see that too. But it also feels like the guys are too timid to actually ask anyone out. Just ask us! It is very elementary school dance, with boys on one side and girls on the other. Except we are all in our 30s-40s...heaven help us lol.

It feels like I see three types of people in my ward. The first are independent types that for one reason or another, never met the right person or haven't just yet, but have a good chance of doing so if they remain open to it. Then there are those that are single due to divorce, looking to start over and find a new path for themselves. Then there are those very special people that are sweet souls, but it is probably not in the cards that they will find someone in this life. Just a touch too awkward to really connect with another person. Most days I think I'm in the first category but on my bad days when I'm full of self doubt I'm positive I'm in the latter. But more good days than bad at the moment, thank goodness.

Posted by: LizLem at January 20, 2015 06:20 PM (yRwC8)

330 Instructions on the Label,

Wash in cold water
Sit to pee

Posted by: Bob from table9 at January 20, 2015 06:20 PM (WNERA)

331 325
Just in time for Spring the all new line of hipster dong cozies!

Posted by: Minnfidel at January 20, 2015 06:18 PM (KBIDy)

______________________________
They're called cock socks and it's perfectly normal behavior to have several on hand for any occasion (formal, business, hunting, etc.)

Posted by: CozMark at January 20, 2015 06:20 PM (u761t)

332 Today's blog theme must be the Left's continuing war against the testicles of straight men.

Posted by: Donna V. is still shellshocked at January 20, 2015 06:18 PM (+XMAD)


trust me, our testicles will fight back.

Posted by: TangoNine at January 20, 2015 06:20 PM (x3YFz)

333 Well, beer break is over. Back to fixing the hole I cut in the bathroom floor to replace the clogged drainpipe for the basin. Then rig in the water heater. No rest for the wicked.

Posted by: Alberta Oil Peon at January 20, 2015 06:20 PM (upitO)

334 Drill will be two snaps and a twirl.
Posted by: rickb223 at January 20, 2015 06:10 PM (Fjr+q)


The HELL with that!

No quatloos for you!

Posted by: Drill Thrawl at January 20, 2015 06:20 PM (xtpUs)

335
socks first, then leggings. thermodynamics is a mfr.


Posted by: TangoNine at January 20, 2015 06:17 PM
.............I have three words for you........... Fleece Long Underwear. They're way better than the underarmor shit and you can still move your junk if needed and you get full range of motion vs. being stuffed in a restrictive casing all day. Way warmer too.

Posted by: Minnfidel at January 20, 2015 06:21 PM (KBIDy)

336 Cows must believe in reincarnation.

One was quoted as saying

" We have all been Herbivore"

Posted by: seamrog at January 20, 2015 06:22 PM (7mWQT)

337 ABC News sucks. ET light.

Posted by: Nip Sip at January 20, 2015 06:22 PM (0FSuD)

338
some people in Washington are still hellbent on turning Syrian into another Libya

Posted by: Reflective Alternate-Reality Soothsayer at January 20, 2015 06:23 PM (suql3)

339 Crochet shorts: a symptom of low T or a cause?

Posted by: Prince Ludwig the Indestructible at January 20, 2015 06:19
.........What would it matter. Face it, if you're wearing those, you could care less about the ladies.

Posted by: Minnfidel at January 20, 2015 06:23 PM (KBIDy)

340 NO!

Crochet shorts for Males? yes...

MEN? uh.... no...

Voluntarily wearing anything crocheted... unless by your Mom, or a Woman you are sleeping with... is an immediate Manly Violation, and may result in Man Card revocation.

Posted by: BB Wolf at January 20, 2015 06:23 PM (qh617)

341 >>> Look, y'all need to get this straight...
Its Peabody Award winning, international film and tv star, Nick Searcy.
**goes back to lounging in my perfectly heated pool**

Another addition for the AoS style guide, which hopefully one day has an online version for easy referencing!

Posted by: LizLem at January 20, 2015 06:23 PM (yRwC8)

342 4

pull on that thread
I dare ya

Posted by: artisanal 'ette at January 20, 2015 05:23 PM (IXrOn)


Heh heh... hee hee.... that not a thread...

Posted by: Beavis at January 20, 2015 06:24 PM (qh617)

343
remember that psycho Deb Frisch?

I think she coined the term War$hington. So childish. But...

Posted by: Reflective Alternate-Reality Soothsayer at January 20, 2015 06:24 PM (suql3)

344 Harry Reid is back and he's not looking too sharp. That must have been one badass toddler.

Posted by: Fritz at January 20, 2015 06:24 PM (dVmLD)

345 He's so gay.

Posted by: Guy who relates everything to a Zappa song at January 20, 2015 06:24 PM (JdEZJ)

346 I have three words for you........... Fleece Long Underwear. They're way better than the underarmor shit and you can still move your junk if needed and you get full range of motion vs. being stuffed in a restrictive casing all day. Way warmer too.
Posted by: Minnfidel at January 20, 2015 06:21 PM (KBIDy)


---------------------------------------


Encapsulated junk is sweaty junk. And nothing is colder in the cold than sweaty junk.

Posted by: Soona at January 20, 2015 06:24 PM (qbgxo)

347 So is this peak crochet?

Posted by: Iblis at January 20, 2015 06:24 PM (9221z)

348 @329 Yeah, I see that too. But it also feels like the guys are too timid to actually ask anyone out. Just ask us! It is very elementary school dance, with boys on one side and girls on the other. Except we are all in our 30s-40s...heaven help us lol.
-----------------

If your ratio is anywhere near ours (1.5 to 1), then you're going to need to be a bit more cut throat.



Plus, we share the building (and meeting times - our schedule is the reverse of theirs) with a YSA ward, and since it's less of an issue for guys to date younger women...

Posted by: junior at January 20, 2015 06:24 PM (UWFpX)

349 That Baby Hippo is 1000 times smarter than that idiot Bush !!!!!!!!!!

Posted by: Mary Clogginstien of Brattleboro, Vt at January 20, 2015 06:25 PM (Sd++4)

350 He's really really gay.

Posted by: Guy who relates everything to a Zappa song at January 20, 2015 06:25 PM (JdEZJ)

351 311 Yea, wearing those is a good way to get your ass kicked for you.
Posted by: Minnfidel at January 20, 2015 06:15 PM (KBIDy)

I wish a bunch of pajama boys SJWs would wear them around Ferguson when they're protesting. Oakland too, that would be great.

Rich Brookline SJW Noah what's his name definitely needs a pair for the next time he blocks the highway in Boston. They'd go great with his dreadlocks and Che T-shirt.

Posted by: Donna &&&&&& V. is still shellshocked at January 20, 2015 06:25 PM (+XMAD)

352 Another reason why sperm count in the civilized world is declining precipitously?

Posted by: berberbilder at January 20, 2015 06:26 PM (8MjqI)

353 I would sooner remove my own gall bladder with a spork than wear those.

Posted by: Duke Lowell at January 20, 2015 06:26 PM (KFdZd)

354 Yeah, I see that too. But it also feels like the guys are too timid to actually ask anyone out. Just ask us! It is very elementary school dance, with boys on one side and girls on the other. Except we are all in our 30s-40s...heaven help us lol.

It feels like I see three types of people in my ward. The first are independent types that for one reason or another, never met the right person or haven't just yet, but have a good chance of doing so if they remain open to it. Then there are those that are single due to divorce, looking to start over and find a new path for themselves. Then there are those very special people that are sweet souls, but it is probably not in the cards that they will find someone in this life. Just a touch too awkward to really connect with another person. Most days I think I'm in the first category but on my bad days when I'm full of self doubt I'm positive I'm in the latter. But more good days than bad at the moment, thank goodness.
Posted by: LizLem at January 20, 2015 06:20 PM (yRwC


I've had people smack me over the head and say, "She was interested in you!". I tend to be oblivious.

Posted by: Colorado Alex at January 20, 2015 06:26 PM (10ydV)

355 Posted by: BB Wolf at January 20, 2015 06:23 PM (qh617)

Note.... Jayne Cobb's hat... while being crochted... does fit within Manly Rules, as it was made by his Mom.

Posted by: Beavis at January 20, 2015 06:27 PM (qh617)

356 And his evening's not complete
Without some meat
in the seat.

Posted by: Guy who relates everything to a Zappa song at January 20, 2015 06:27 PM (JdEZJ)

357 .............I have three words for you...........
Fleece Long Underwear. They're way better than the underarmor shit and
you can still move your junk if needed and you get full range of motion
vs. being stuffed in a restrictive casing all day. Way warmer too.

Posted by: Minnfidel at January 20, 2015 06:21 PM (KBIDy)


I hear you. This ain't my first rodeo and I've tried everything under the sun but UA is the best bottom layer i've found.

That ain't to say that a thicker layer of leggings doesn't go over it.

The one downside of UA (and for those of you who've never been in the field for 8 weeks without a shower, you might want to look away) is the mudbutt factor.

For those of you playing at home: when you're in the field for weeks or months, a guy gets a bit... gamey.

You do your best with wet wipes: face, pits, balls and ass, in that order, but nonetheless, badness builds up without a good hot shower.

So that's where your kit comes in. Get stuff that'll breathe and yet keep your ass warm.

Posted by: TangoNine at January 20, 2015 06:29 PM (x3YFz)

358 New Packer Uniforms?

(Too soon?)

Posted by: Minnfidel at January 20, 2015 06:30 PM (KBIDy)

359 For a small fee, my daughter will knit you some out of pure cat hair.

Posted by: berberbilder at January 20, 2015 06:30 PM (8MjqI)

360 @354 I've had people smack me over the head and say, "She was interested in you!". I tend to be oblivious.
------------------

Guilty as charged, as well.

Ironically, I did figure out just recently that a couple of women were interested in me...

Just before they became roommates.

^^;;

Posted by: junior at January 20, 2015 06:31 PM (UWFpX)

361 Why are these shorts being shoved explicitly in my face like this?

Posted by: Billy Chrystal at January 20, 2015 06:31 PM (tt3kE)

362 Good Lord.Did you read that Jonah Goldberg post in the sidebar?

Posted by: steevy at January 20, 2015 06:32 PM (v5UtH)

363 For those of you playing at home: when you're in the field for weeks or months, a guy gets a bit... gamey. Posted by: TangoNine

Makes you wonder how humanity survived back in the day, when it was normal to only bathe once a year.

Posted by: Prince Ludwig the Indestructible at January 20, 2015 06:32 PM (GuwT9)

364 Do they wear crochet shorts in Yemen?

Posted by: Bertram Cabot Jr. at January 20, 2015 06:33 PM (W5DcG)

365 >>> If your ratio is anywhere near ours (1.5 to 1), then you're going to need to be a bit more cut throat.

That is so not my style; "All's fair in love and war" seemed so...innapropriate in a church setting when I was younger. And I'm glad for once to be in a ward where the relief society is more like a real sisterhood and less like a tamer episode of The Bachelor. But you are right of course, sigh.

*looks to see if any of the fiercer ettes have an dating/empowerment course online* Okay I see footwear 101, but no dating class just yet... *keeps looking*

Posted by: LizLem at January 20, 2015 06:35 PM (yRwC8)

366 307 - I'm sure gingy will be inundated for requests..., or not. Still, her other half is WeirdDave.

Posted by: Mike Hammer, etc., etc. at January 20, 2015 06:35 PM (F2IAQ)

367 @364 Do they wear crochet shorts in Yemen?
----------------------

Better question - do they trust their women with sharp pointy objects such as crochet needles?

Posted by: junior at January 20, 2015 06:35 PM (UWFpX)

368 For those of you playing at home: when you're in the field for weeks or months, a guy gets a bit... gamey. Posted by: TangoNine

Makes you wonder how humanity survived back in the day, when it was normal to only bathe once a year.
Posted by: Prince Ludwig the Indestructible at January 20, 2015 06:32 PM (GuwT9)


You get used to the smell. Not to mention that there were other smells that were worse.

Also, there's a reason that incense and perfume were major commodities of ancient trading.

Posted by: Colorado Alex at January 20, 2015 06:35 PM (10ydV)

369 I've had people smack me over the head and say, "She was interested in you!". I tend to be oblivious.

------------------



Guilty as charged, as well.



Ironically, I did figure out just recently that a couple of women were interested in me...



Just before they became roommates.



^^;;



Posted by: junior at January 20, 2015 06:31 PM (UWFpX)


same same. had a hottie chicana after me and had no idea.

she walked up to my buddy while I was 2-stepping with some random girl and ask: "why is he with that puta chica?"

She was cute as hell but... eh... never date a mexican girl. ever. why? You date her and you also date all of her cousins. bad juju. bad bad juju.

Posted by: TangoNine at January 20, 2015 06:35 PM (x3YFz)

370 Later yall.

Posted by: Minnfidel at January 20, 2015 06:37 PM (KBIDy)

371 Later yall.

Posted by: Minnfidel at January 20, 2015 06:37 PM (KBIDy)

372 she walked up to my buddy while I was 2-stepping with some random girl and ask: "why is he with that puta chica?"

She was cute as hell but... eh... never date a mexican girl. ever. why? You date her and you also date all of her cousins. bad juju. bad bad juju.
Posted by: TangoNine at January 20, 2015 06:35 PM (x3YFz)


I dated a couple of Mexican girls when I was stationed in El Paso. Never again. Too much drama.

Posted by: Colorado Alex at January 20, 2015 06:37 PM (10ydV)

373 "362 Good Lord.Did you read that Jonah Goldberg post in the sidebar?"



I've been reading "Brave New World" to my daughter's fetus.



Posted by: berberbilder at January 20, 2015 06:37 PM (8MjqI)

374
steevy, I haven't had a chance to read Jonah's piece yet because I've been busy explaining to the laws of thermodynamics to my dog

Posted by: Reflective Alternate-Reality Soothsayer at January 20, 2015 06:37 PM (suql3)

375
Posted by: junior at January 20, 2015 06:31 PM (UWFpX)

Hilarious! Shhh, it's okay. *passes you a plate of pants shaped sugar cookes iced to look like they are crocheted*

Posted by: LizLem at January 20, 2015 06:38 PM (yRwC8)

376 I'm reading War and Peace to my cat.He seems to dig it.

Posted by: steevy at January 20, 2015 06:38 PM (v5UtH)

377 The marketing company for these crocheted crotch coverers is called

"Wriggly Feeled"

not surprised.

Posted by: seamrog at January 20, 2015 06:39 PM (7mWQT)

378 I dated a couple of Mexican girls when I was stationed in El Paso. Never again. Too much drama.

Posted by: Colorado Alex at January 20, 2015 06:37 PM (10ydV)

mmmm hmmm. yup.

Posted by: TangoNine at January 20, 2015 06:40 PM (x3YFz)

379 I've had people smack me over the head and say, "She was interested in you!".
----------

Right..., like at the 15 year reunion someone says, "Boy , Sharlene was really crazy about you". What?! Sharlene?..., the really sweet, attractive girl?
* rends garments *
* gnashes teeth *

Posted by: Mike Hammer, etc., etc. at January 20, 2015 06:40 PM (F2IAQ)

380 >>>Good Lord.Did you read that Jonah Goldberg post in the sidebar?<<<

If that single malt whisky was less than 18 years old, Rhodes' progeny will likely be in the bottom 3% at Sidwell Friends.

Posted by: Fritz at January 20, 2015 06:40 PM (dVmLD)

381 I've had people smack me over the head and say, "She was interested in you!". I tend to be oblivious.

Posted by: Colorado Alex at January 20, 2015 06:26 PM (10ydV)


I think they should invest in giant neon signs.

And maybe one of these:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B8Wd831gUt4

Posted by: CM at January 20, 2015 06:41 PM (0NdlF)

382 I'm reading War and Peace to my cat.He seems to dig it.

Posted by: steevy at January 20, 2015 06:38 PM (v5UtH)


now *that* is depressing.

Posted by: TangoNine at January 20, 2015 06:41 PM (x3YFz)

383 Why am I feeling itchy..., in my nether regions.

Posted by: Mike Hammer, etc., etc. at January 20, 2015 06:41 PM (F2IAQ)

384 Some sequins would be festive on those um, things. Then add spandex and a parasol and you're ready to go to your government job!

Posted by: model_1066 at January 20, 2015 06:41 PM (uCgaE)

385 O/T (you're welcome): a Democrat who understands that Obama is a SCOAMF.
http://hatrack.com/osc/reviews/everything/2015-01-15.shtml

Posted by: Turd Ferguson at January 20, 2015 06:41 PM (VAsIq)

386 "Why am I feeling itchy..., in my nether regions."
-Posted by: Mike Hammer, etc., etc. at January 20, 2015 06:41 PM (F2IAQ)

Yeast?

Posted by: ColdBeer1 (Slap) (T) at January 20, 2015 06:43 PM (16bOT)

387 252 I should also point out the reason I wear so much black is because it's the adult version of granimals
Posted by: alexthechick at January 20, 2015 05:59 PM (Ul37N)

I wear a lot of black because it matches my mood much of the time.

Posted by: Donna &&&&&& V. is still shellshocked at January 20, 2015 06:43 PM (+XMAD)

388 I'm reading War and Peace to my cat.He seems to dig it.
Posted by: steevy at January 20, 2015 06:38 PM (v5UtH)


------------------------------------


Read "1984" to my cats. They seemed to be upset that Winston rejected the rats for big brother.

Posted by: Soona at January 20, 2015 06:44 PM (qbgxo)

389 Right..., like at the 15 year reunion someone says,
"Boy , Sharlene was really crazy about you". What?! Sharlene?..., the
really sweet, attractive girl?

* rends garments *

* gnashes teeth *



Posted by: Mike Hammer, etc., etc. at January 20, 2015 06:40 PM (F2IAQ)


i'd go back to a HS reunion except those bitches would completely understand my awesomeness or how I'd managed to wrastle in this here hot filly that is my wife.

ok... beyond the shit talking: I hated most of them so why the fuck would I go back to see them?

Posted by: TangoNine at January 20, 2015 06:45 PM (x3YFz)

390 I am so tired the Gay Sex being paraded around.

Posted by: Billy Crystal at January 20, 2015 06:45 PM (V70Uh)

391 "It feels like I see three types of people in my ward."

Actually, when it comes to single men, there's a fourth type who you are not seeing because they're not there.

The ones who were married before, some of them with kids, and who ended up being absolutely mauled in divorces and family courts, and who after that experience aren't going near any women romantically ever again.

I know a couple of guys just like this, and it's a damn shame, because some of them really are still husband material. Solid stable solvent happy friendly guys. But now fem shy.

Posted by: torquewrench at January 20, 2015 06:45 PM (noWW6)

392 NEVER read Animal Farm to your pigs.

Posted by: ColdBeer1 (Slap) (T) at January 20, 2015 06:45 PM (16bOT)

393 >>> 362 Good Lord.Did you read that Jonah Goldberg post in the sidebar?

Someone who may or may not have been a troll this weekend, I've been gone so I couldn't tell, talked about the pretentiousness of book themed baby showers. And yes, you could argue that "baby" is the only theme of a baby shower, but I liked the idea, especially if it is children's books, and everyone brought you a book for the nursery. That's kind of sweet actually.

But To Kill A Mockingbird??? Great book but man, there are some idiot parents in the world. I guess you can never get those kids started too young on literary plots dealing with racism, rape, and murder. Poky Little Puppy? Hungry Caterpillar? Soooo last year.

Posted by: LizLem at January 20, 2015 06:45 PM (yRwC8)

394 Well, you wonder why I always dress in black
Why you never see bright colors on my back
And why does my appearance seem to have a somber tone
Well, there's a reason for the things that I have on

Posted by: Johnny Cash at January 20, 2015 06:45 PM (F2IAQ)

395 No I have something to do with my left over yarn

Posted by: hello, it's Me Donna ....again at January 20, 2015 06:45 PM (Bn6aD)

396 Nood; Rathergate.

Posted by: ColdBeer1 (Slap) (T) at January 20, 2015 06:46 PM (16bOT)

397 NEVER read Animal Farm to your pigs.
Posted by: ColdBeer
----------------

... or Lord of the Flies

Posted by: Mike Hammer, etc., etc. at January 20, 2015 06:46 PM (F2IAQ)

398 Apparently crocheting Obama is a thing.

http://tinyurl.com/q4slscf

Posted by: dont just dont at January 20, 2015 06:46 PM (klzyR)

399 Let me guess: the yarn used to crochet those shorts came out of someone's vagina.

Probably from the vag of one of the "men" in the picture.

Posted by: Donna &&&&&& V. is still shellshocked at January 20, 2015 06:46 PM (+XMAD)

400 I also wear black.

Posted by: Ninja at January 20, 2015 06:46 PM (VAsIq)

401 Castrate the man and then require that he be fertile.


Posted by: C. S. Lewis at January 20, 2015 06:46 PM (V70Uh)

402 Posted by: Mike Hammer, etc., etc. at January 20, 2015 06:46 PM (F2IAQ)

Hell, even Charlotte's Web causes a breakdown.

Pigs are sensitive.

Posted by: Donna &&&&&& V. is still shellshocked at January 20, 2015 06:47 PM (+XMAD)

403 since we're evidently in pets and entertainment (superior to the SOTUA), my African greys love The Rabbids.

bwa bwaaa!

Posted by: TangoNine at January 20, 2015 06:48 PM (x3YFz)

404 Scotch whiskies are like jailbait: Anything less than 18 years old, and you've earned a place in jail.

Posted by: Fritz at January 20, 2015 06:48 PM (dVmLD)

405 There must be something to that whole "estrogen in the water" deal.

Pajama boy, skinny jeans, now this--FFS we need to air drop testosterone over the country, stat.

Posted by: Seems Legit at January 20, 2015 06:50 PM (A98Xu)

406 Makes you wonder how humanity survived back in the day, when it was normal to only bathe once a year.
Posted by: Prince Ludwig the Indestructible at January 20, 2015 06:32 PM (GuwT9)

We are doing just fine, mon ami.

Posted by: The French at January 20, 2015 06:50 PM (+XMAD)

407 ...my African greys love The Rabbids.
bwa bwaaa!
-Posted by: TangoNine at January 20, 2015 06:48 PM (x3YFz)

I love The Rabbids!

Posted by: ColdBeer1 (Slap) (T) at January 20, 2015 06:51 PM (16bOT)

408 The ones who were married before, some of them with kids, and who ended up being absolutely mauled in divorces and family courts, and who after that experience aren't going near any women romantically ever again.

I know a couple of guys just like this, and it's a damn shame, because some of them really are still husband material. Solid stable solvent happy friendly guys. But now fem shy.


Posted by: torquewrench at January 20, 2015 06:45 PM (noWW6)

Change it so won't go near MARRIAGE... and you have my story...

Posted by: Bb Wolf at January 20, 2015 06:51 PM (qh617)

409 400
I also wear black.

Me too.

Posted by: Executioner at January 20, 2015 06:51 PM (XzRw1)

410 @ 389


Bingo, T9.

Like I told my wife--didn't lose nothing back there I want to find.

Posted by: irongrampa at January 20, 2015 06:54 PM (jeCnD)

411
Posted by: torquewrench at January 20, 2015 06:45 PM (noWW6)

I can see that. I love being a woman, but man, some of us are cray cray, literally.
And there are also plenty of single women I know also too skittish to try dating again. It takes time. A few of them are dealing with the fact that they did not marry the men they thought they were marrying, but instead married an infantilized man child who refused to grow up and become real dads and partners. Some had actual kids along the way, in addition to the kid that is their spouse, some didn't.
But all of us singles are trying to navigate the crazy world of modern dating together, yaaaaaay.

Posted by: LizLem at January 20, 2015 07:00 PM (yRwC8)

412
Some of us get lucky.

Like standing at the edge of a dance floor at a wedding reception, just looking, getting tapped on the shoulder, turning, looking OVER and then looking down into those green eyes.

And the rest is history, 47 years later.

Posted by: irongrampa at January 20, 2015 07:06 PM (jeCnD)

413
Posted by: irongrampa at January 20, 2015 07:06 PM (jeCnD)
Awwwwwww Lucky for both of you, congrats.

Posted by: LizLem at January 20, 2015 07:21 PM (yRwC8)

414 Every bone in their crotches; that's what I'm going to break.

Posted by: J. Clarkson at January 20, 2015 07:31 PM (cL79m)

415 They can lay on them while they bone each other....

Posted by: Dave at January 20, 2015 08:10 PM (/iRd9)

416 The Horror!!!

Posted by: Callawyn at January 21, 2015 05:12 AM (+7Wfv)

417 Escort girls http://REGMODELS.RU

Posted by: Tina at January 21, 2015 07:35 AM (b7Eqh)

418 Maybe they're just English?

Posted by: NYC Parent at January 21, 2015 09:16 AM (HEo6y)

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