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Harry Reid Breaks His Face

That's Drudge's headline. Drudge also has funny flashbacks about Reid's troubling history of Mysterious Injuries. He reports the injuries with Doubt Quotes, suggesting something may be amiss.

So what happened to Reid? And will this shed any light on the man authorities know as the Searchlight Strangler?

Senate Democratic leader Harry Reid is in a Las Vegas hospital following injuries sustained while exercising at home.

A statement issued Friday by Reid's office said doctors expect a "full recovery."

"A piece of equipment Senator Reid was using to exercise broke, causing him to fall and break a number of ribs and bones in his face," according to the statement.

Can you think of a fall that causes you to break your face and ribs, but not, somehow, an arm or wrist?

harryreidshiner.jpg
(c) AP. Found at The Daily Mirror.

The Daily Mail notes this is Reid's second "exercise-related accident" in three years. Supposedly, three years ago, he was out jogging and "dislocated his shoulder."

He dislocated his shoulder and bumped his forehead in May 2011 when he slipped and fell during a morning jog in the rain.

Reid leaned on a wet car near his home in Washington, D.C.'s Ritz-Carlton hotel and tumbled to the ground.

That fall left him with a contusion just below his left eye, but he was back in action later that night at a fundraiser for California Sen. Barbara Boxer.

What time did that allegedly happen? Because, according to my watch, "morning" could also be "very late night."

Eh, nothing suspicious here. Just that our outgoing Majority Leader is a in Fight Club. Nothing to see here, folks. Move on.


Posted by: Ace at 12:42 PM




Comments

(Jump to bottom of comments)

1 Puts some ice on it.

Posted by: Billy Jeff at January 02, 2015 12:44 PM (XzRw1)

2 Little children can fight savagely when you try to pull them into a van.

Posted by: ejo at January 02, 2015 12:44 PM (rsGj7)

3 So... all those comments section lawyers are going to come in here and tell us NOT to speculate...

Right?

Posted by: BurtTC at January 02, 2015 12:44 PM (TOk1P)

4 3rd!

Posted by: OregonMuse at January 02, 2015 12:44 PM (W8CO7)

5 Dang.

Posted by: OregonMuse at January 02, 2015 12:45 PM (W8CO7)

6 Top 10?

Posted by: Diogenes at January 02, 2015 12:45 PM (08Znv)

7 I'll open the betting with $5 on "Coffee mug thrown by enraged wife"

Posted by: Secundus at January 02, 2015 12:45 PM (t9hL9)

8 Little children can fight savagely when you try to pull them into a van.

Those Cub Scouts pack a punch.

Posted by: Mary Poppins' Practically Perfect Piercing at January 02, 2015 12:45 PM (zF6Iw)

9 WHAT PROOF DO YOU HAVE THAT HARRY REID WAS BEAT UP BY A 14 YEAR OLD MALE PROSTITUTE?

You have none. So stop saying it.

Posted by: BurtTC at January 02, 2015 12:46 PM (TOk1P)

10 The Mob roughed him up i bet.

Posted by: Pmzey at January 02, 2015 12:46 PM (pmzey)

11 The Horde is extra-surly today.

Posted by: Bandersnatch at January 02, 2015 12:46 PM (JtwS4)

12 More likely an SM club than a fight club.

Posted by: Chi-Town Jerry at January 02, 2015 12:46 PM (4+IgA)

13 Some victims fight back pretty ferociously. Harry's staff is going to have to be more careful.

Posted by: Null at January 02, 2015 12:46 PM (xjpRj)

14 6 words.


Don't you think he looks tired?

Posted by: buzzion at January 02, 2015 12:46 PM (zt+N6)

15 our outgoing Majority Leader is a in Fight Club.

He is not a fight club. He is in a pedophile ring. And one of the kidnapped boys fought back as Harry tried to rape him.

Posted by: zombie at January 02, 2015 12:47 PM (K4YiS)

16 Best wishes to Sen. Reid for a speedy recovery. I do hope this doesn't lead to a violent backlash against peaceful exercise machines.

Posted by: Susan Olivia Cuthbertson-Klein at January 02, 2015 12:47 PM (Ks4nX)

17 Any physical tic is evidence of the mental breakdown of a Republican.

Nothing, including incapacity due to stroke, gunshot, or death, disqualifies a Democrat.

Posted by: --- at January 02, 2015 12:47 PM (MMC8r)

18 New Years in Nevada...a dangerous place eh?

Posted by: Diogenes at January 02, 2015 12:47 PM (08Znv)

19 I'll bet he's very glad he made all of us get health coverage.

Maybe he ask Moochelle if she'd gained a few pounds.

Posted by: mallfly at January 02, 2015 12:47 PM (bJm7W)

20 WHAT PROOF DO YOU HAVE THAT HARRY REID WAS BEAT UP BY A 14 YEAR OLD MALE PROSTITUTE?

Posted by: Al Sharpton at January 02, 2015 12:48 PM (MMC8r)

21 Drunk.Simple as that...

Posted by: hello, it's Me Donna ....again at January 02, 2015 12:48 PM (Bn6aD)

22 It rubs the lotion on its skin, or else it gets the hose again.

Posted by: Buffalo Bill at January 02, 2015 12:48 PM (27KAF)

23 I understand the accident had something to do with chewing gum

Posted by: Islamic Rage Boy at January 02, 2015 12:49 PM (e8kgV)

24 Maybe he tried to commit suicide by jumping off a 1st floor balcony.

Posted by: Berserker-Dragonheads Division at January 02, 2015 12:49 PM (FMbng)

25 This isn't funny, guys. I ruptured my colon falling onto a piece of equipment once.

Posted by: Barack Obama at January 02, 2015 12:49 PM (nFdGS)

26 Looks like the Majority Leader was just finalizing work on his Rough Trade Agreement.

Posted by: --- at January 02, 2015 12:49 PM (MMC8r)

27 So, is he going to blame the Koch brothers, or the Bush administration's lax guidelines for "health equipment"?

Posted by: RoadRunner at January 02, 2015 12:49 PM (I/JNw)

28 It was an exercise band. How does that happen?
I know they break easy, not clear how some flimsy rubber band snapping then breaks your face and ribs.

What was he really doing?

Chris @Chris_1791 12m
Harry Reid Suffers Broken Ribs & Bones In His Face When Exercise Band Breaks at Home via @gatewaypundit http://bit.ly/1vR53A7

Posted by: Costanza Defense at January 02, 2015 12:49 PM (ZPrif)

29 This had to have dome fem the Obama White House:

Iraqi counteroffensive to push back ISIS planned for new year

Posted by: Islamic Rage Boy at January 02, 2015 12:49 PM (e8kgV)

30 Maybe be forgot his safety word?

P.S. It's "Palomino" Harry!

Posted by: scot at January 02, 2015 12:49 PM (G74SD)

31 26 Looks like the Majority Leader was just finalizing work on his Rough Trade Agreement.
Posted by: ---


It's early, but -- threadwinner.

Posted by: zombie at January 02, 2015 12:50 PM (K4YiS)

32 His magic underwear didn't protect him? It must've been soiled.

Posted by: Zombie Seamus Romney at January 02, 2015 12:50 PM (QWiro)

33 Drunk Mormons are a pain in the ass.

Posted by: NV State Poleese at January 02, 2015 12:50 PM (0FSuD)

34 Wow... that shiner really does look like it's in the shape of a tiny fist.

A tiny male fist. Right hand. You can tell by the thumb.

Posted by: BurtTC at January 02, 2015 12:50 PM (TOk1P)

35 Photo made my fucking day. More please.

We are stuck in an ice storm in far west Texas, coming back from Bisbee, AZ. Should be home by now but maybe late tomorrow. Was lucky to get a bad hotel room, hundreds of others didn't.

Posted by: Mr. Dave at January 02, 2015 12:51 PM (9z/Dk)

36 10
The Union Mob roughed him up i bet.


Posted by: Pmzey at January 02, 2015 12:46 PM (pmzey)

FIFY

Posted by: NV State Poleese at January 02, 2015 12:51 PM (0FSuD)

37 194 I have exercise bands. If it breaks the hard handle can fling back and hit you in the face, hilarity and broken bones ensue. Not sure how he got the broken ribs. Unless he was so startled he threw himself forward landed chest first on a chair back---really this is getting ridiculous.

Posted by: Seems Legit at January 02, 2015 12:51 PM (A98Xu)

38 off poleese sock

Posted by: Nip Sip at January 02, 2015 12:51 PM (0FSuD)

39 i'm having a hard time coming up with scenarios for generating Mystery Injuries that don't involve illicit sex

Posted by: ace at January 02, 2015 12:52 PM (E+pqw)

40 If you fall without using your arms to break your fall you end up with a face like Harry's. He did a face plant while drunk without breaking his fall in any way, and his ribs breaking just means there was something on the floor that he fell on.

Posted by: Trunk Monkey at January 02, 2015 12:52 PM (jucos)

41 21 Drunk.Simple as that...
Posted by: hello, it's Me Donna ....again at January 02, 2015 12:48 PM (Bn6aD)

Yep. Had a good time on New Year's Eve, stepped outside for some air, fell on the pavement in some weird position. Mormon or no, he was drunk off his ass.

Posted by: joncelli at January 02, 2015 12:52 PM (RD7QR)

42 They always said that power only transfers thru the use of violence

Posted by: Islamic Rage Boy at January 02, 2015 12:52 PM (e8kgV)

43 Exercise band, testicle cuff, what's the difference?

Posted by: --- at January 02, 2015 12:52 PM (MMC8r)

44 A broken exercise band supposedly broke, snapped back and hit him in the face, which caused him to fall onto other exercise equipment that broke his ribs. STFU! Wiley Coyote doesn't even fuck up like this! Wandering around drunk in the dark and he took one hell of a fall is most probable.

Posted by: homewithflu at January 02, 2015 12:52 PM (MVzEb)

45 Sucks when the victim fights back, right Harry?

Posted by: TBolt69 at January 02, 2015 12:53 PM (dNYmW)

46 Posted by: Costanza Defense at January 02, 2015 12:49 PM (ZPrif)

I suppose if it snapped, and you couldn't catch your balance fast enough, you could fall. But you'd have to be pulling *forward*, or you'd just land on your ass.

Dunno. Yet another reason free weights and kettlebells are better.

Posted by: Secundus at January 02, 2015 12:53 PM (t9hL9)

47 On a serious note, he probably was doing some chest or shoulder exercises. Exercise band tied to the doorknob or hanging from the top of the door. He's putting all his body weight into instead of doing it proper and isolating the chest or shoulder muscles. He's just leaning his full 125lb frame into it when - *snap* - it breaks and he falls to the floor. His reaction time is too slow to get his arms out to break his fall so he takes it straight on the face and ribs.

Maybe he had a little aerobic stair step there for cardio and his ribs landed on that as his face bounced off the floor.

Posted by: Costanza Defense at January 02, 2015 12:53 PM (ZPrif)

48 Yikes, Reid has a face only a mother could love.

Posted by: Seems Legit at January 02, 2015 12:53 PM (A98Xu)

49 like i said below i was raised by drunks. i know one when i see one

Posted by: ThunderB at January 02, 2015 12:53 PM (zOTsN)

50 He is going to get Obama add a %500 tax to kids karate lessons, like the tanning bed tax. That will show them.

Posted by: Jean at January 02, 2015 12:53 PM (TETYm)

51 Mormon or no, he was drunk off his ass.

He's Mormon like Pelosi's a Catholic.

Posted by: --- at January 02, 2015 12:53 PM (MMC8r)

52 You're godddamned right I hit him. I did NOT want to take off my pants.

Posted by: Little Timmy at January 02, 2015 12:54 PM (jucos)

53 "Can you think of a fall that causes you to break your face and ribs, but not, somehow, an arm or wrist?"

Vito and Rocco called.

They were a bit miffed about being referred to as "pieces of equipment".

They're meticulously trained professionals, very disciplined, with considerable pride in their work.

Posted by: torquewrench at January 02, 2015 12:54 PM (noWW6)

54 And i am suppose to care about this? Wait I have to scratch my balls first

Posted by: Nevergiveup at January 02, 2015 12:54 PM (nzKvP)

55 Karma !!

Posted by: SE Pa Lurker at January 02, 2015 12:54 PM (llVa4)

56 Sacred Honor compels me to admit that I kicked his ass.

Posted by: Will Folks at January 02, 2015 12:54 PM (hKyl0)

57 49 like i said below i was raised by drunks. i know one when i see one
Posted by: ThunderB at January 02, 2015 12:53 PM (zOTsN)

He's Mormon, Jack?

Posted by: Jean at January 02, 2015 12:54 PM (TETYm)

58 Can you think of a fall that causes you to break your face and ribs, but not, somehow, an arm or wrist?

No.

*shifty eyes*


Actually, last year my dad fell down a hill while golfing and broke his ribs and collarbone and banged up his face pretty good and he didn't break anything else.

Given the number of times I've bit it spectacularly tripping over the damn invisible dogs that follow me around, it's a miracle I haven't done this.

Posted by: alexthechick - SMOD/Orion Death Star 2016 at January 02, 2015 12:54 PM (mf5HN)

59 HOW BOUT SHOWING THE RIGHT RESPECT FOR THIS REVERED, AUGUST ELDER STATESPERSUN?!

Posted by: KayInMaine at January 02, 2015 12:55 PM (zW/rD)

60 Mitch McConnell was unavailable for comment

Posted by: Islamic Rage Boy at January 02, 2015 12:55 PM (e8kgV)

61 Honestly, all kidding aside - does Hairy Reed even look as though he could manage one push-up, let alone an exercise band and a treadmill? The bastard probably gets winded just rummaging through his nephew's underwear drawer.

Posted by: Mary Poppins' Practically Perfect Piercing at January 02, 2015 12:55 PM (zF6Iw)

62 the car accident, the previous fall, the timing of this fall

he is a drunk. explains alot

Posted by: ThunderB at January 02, 2015 12:55 PM (zOTsN)

63 He has creepy, shifty eyes.

And a soft doughy face, even after the face lift.

Posted by: Seems Legit at January 02, 2015 12:55 PM (A98Xu)

64 On 24-hour loop at the vital, life-filled Harry Reid residence: Cocoon.

"You won't get sick, you won't grow old, and you'll never die."

Posted by: Kirk at January 02, 2015 12:55 PM (GBnWt)

65 good thing he was wearing the leather gimp mask

Posted by: Retard Strength Trumps Smart Power at January 02, 2015 12:55 PM (27KAF)

66 The picture is from a previous injury, don't think there's pics out yet of the injuries he suffered this time as his victim fought him off.

Posted by: Costanza Defense at January 02, 2015 12:55 PM (ZPrif)

67 HOW BOUT SHOWING THE RIGHT RESPECT FOR THIS REVERED, AUGUST ELDER STATESPERSUN?!

I just went.

Posted by: --- at January 02, 2015 12:55 PM (MMC8r)

68 The corrupt Harry Reid really is like Senator Pat Geary from "The Godfather," isn't he? Don't be surprised if a dead prostitute from Nevada shows up any day now, the victim of a night of mutually violent sexual escapades with Senator Reid.

"Strap on! Strap off! Strap on, strap off! The Strapper!!!"

Posted by: Slappy at January 02, 2015 12:55 PM (Am9Tn)

69 Ted Cruz just thought it was a dream

Posted by: Islamic Rage Boy at January 02, 2015 12:55 PM (e8kgV)

70 Clearly he is the victim of rape.

Posted by: Sabrina Ruben Erdely at January 02, 2015 12:55 PM (9GG/0)

71
Reid spokesperson said no gerbils were harmed during Harry's "workout".

Posted by: PETAphile at January 02, 2015 12:55 PM (1sVzz)

72 > Can you think of a fall that causes you to break your face and ribs, but not, somehow, an arm or wrist?

Sex swing pulled out of the ceiling? I've always assumed that he pitched to young boys, but maybe he catches instead.

Posted by: WaitingForMartel at January 02, 2015 12:56 PM (BxDum)

73 Posted by: Costanza Defense at January 02, 2015 12:53 PM (ZPrif)

You'd think the Senate Majority Leader could afford something better than rubber bands attached to a doorknob...

Posted by: Secundus at January 02, 2015 12:56 PM (t9hL9)

74 Drunken driving accident. Check his car.

Posted by: Thin veneer of civility at January 02, 2015 12:56 PM (XzRw1)

75 You would think the Ritz Carlton would be worried about having a known pedophile on residence?

Posted by: garrett at January 02, 2015 12:56 PM (WaVe5)

76 thinks he might have partaken of one of the more feisty boys last night

Posted by: chemjeff at January 02, 2015 12:56 PM (9GG/0)

77
>>>i'm having a hard time coming up with scenarios for generating Mystery Injuries that don't involve "illicit sex"

There's a D after my name. There's no such thing.

Posted by: Hairy Reed, unindicted pederast at January 02, 2015 12:56 PM (XMDuf)

78 Given the number of times I've bit it spectacularly tripping over the damn invisible dogs that follow me around, it's a miracle I haven't done this.


Not as far to fall?

Posted by: rickb223 at January 02, 2015 12:56 PM (nfmRC)

79 Given the number of times I've bit it spectacularly tripping over the damn invisible dogs that follow me around, it's a miracle I haven't done this.
Posted by: alexthechick - SMOD/Orion Death Star 2016 at January 02, 2015 12:54 PM (mf5HN)

----

Yeah..... but...... you dont have that far to fall either....

Posted by: fixerupper at January 02, 2015 12:56 PM (NaV4z)

80 Some of those S&M harnesses are considered 'exercise equipment'. Or so I hear

Posted by: Sammy Shades of Grey at January 02, 2015 12:56 PM (l0lja)

81 The exercise equipment raped him

Posted by: Islamic Rage Boy at January 02, 2015 12:56 PM (e8kgV)

82 Those 7-8 year olds can cause a ruckus when they get wound up.

Posted by: Bitter Clinger and All That at January 02, 2015 12:56 PM (RZzX3)

83 I wish my 'exercise band' had snapped.

Posted by: David Carradine at January 02, 2015 12:57 PM (MMC8r)

84 The more painful the sequence you morons imagine, the more it pleases me. Thanks.

Posted by: Mr. Dave at January 02, 2015 12:57 PM (9z/Dk)

85 My favorite way to stay in shape is chasing little boys around the living room. Have to remember to move the ottoman next time.


Posted by: Sen. Harry Reid at January 02, 2015 12:57 PM (t72+4)

86 See you next Thursday Harry!

Posted by: John Boehner's Liver at January 02, 2015 12:57 PM (pmzey)

87 Yes, I can think of how one would not break an arm or wrist when falling: By stroking out and face planting.

You don't extend your arms to break a fall when you're unconscious.

Posted by: Kirk at January 02, 2015 12:57 PM (GBnWt)

88 What sissy uses rubber bands for a workout? Pee Wee Herman? Tiny Tim? Aaron Rogers?

Posted by: Hans & Franz at January 02, 2015 12:57 PM (iAUf+)

89 Look, accidents can happen.

**eyes dart left and right**

**looks over shoulder**

**sees Valerie Jarrett**

You know... forget I said anything.

Posted by: Chuck Hagel's mystery bandage at January 02, 2015 12:57 PM (t1dCc)

90
**high fives rickb223**

**pushes rickb233 down, then RUNS**

Posted by: fixerupper at January 02, 2015 12:57 PM (NaV4z)

91 47 On a serious note, he probably was doing some chest or shoulder exercises. Exercise band tied to the doorknob or hanging from the top of the door. He's putting all his body weight into instead of doing it proper and isolating the chest or shoulder muscles. He's just leaning his full 125lb frame into it when - *snap* - it breaks and he falls to the floor. His reaction time is too slow to get his arms out to break his fall so he takes it straight on the face and ribs.

Maybe he had a little aerobic stair step there for cardio and his ribs landed on that as his face bounced off the floor.
Posted by: Costanza Defense


The Golden Rule is:

Treat others as they treat you.

Hary Reid, as a matter of policy, makes unsubstantiated felony accusations against his political opponents, because he is a bad human being.

It is unfair to the cosmos to treat him differently.

When Harry Reid makes excuses for a conservative, I will let your comment stand unchallenged. But not until then.

Posted by: zombie at January 02, 2015 12:57 PM (K4YiS)

92

Good.

Posted by: All 2014 Soothsayers Must Go Clearance Sale! at January 02, 2015 12:58 PM (haxo2)

93 83
I wish my 'exercise band' had snapped.

Tell me about it.

Posted by: Robin Williams at January 02, 2015 12:58 PM (XzRw1)

94 Show us on the doll where you punched the Majority Leader.

Posted by: Emmett Milbarge at January 02, 2015 12:58 PM (nFdGS)

95 Harry Reid raped by gang of UVa Frat Boys

Posted by: Rolling Stone at January 02, 2015 12:58 PM (MMC8r)

96 Harry Reid fall down go boom?

Posted by: The Great White Snark at January 02, 2015 12:58 PM (LImiJ)

97 I've always assumed that he pitched to young boys, but maybe he catches instead.


Driven like Ms. Daisey.

Posted by: rickb223 at January 02, 2015 12:58 PM (nfmRC)

98 We have no comment. We refer all inquiries to our attorney.

Posted by: Nor-Dick Track at January 02, 2015 12:58 PM (l0lja)

99 Ace, Do not know if anyone else corrected this on previous thread, but, Bridenstine is from Oklahoma, specifically Tulsa, which is the First District. He is my Congresscritter. This is his second term. His first vote as a freshman was to vote against confirming Boehner as speaker. How Conservative is Tulsa? Answer: He ran unopposed.

Posted by: Sherry McEvil, Stiletto Corsettes at January 02, 2015 12:59 PM (kXoT0)

100 he is still in the hospital thats why there are no pics

now, if you drive drunk and hit something, you bang your face on the airbag or steering wheel, and break you ribs on the seat belt or steering wheel

just saying

Posted by: ThunderB at January 02, 2015 12:59 PM (zOTsN)

101 Every. Senior. Citizen. Should. Have. Life Alert

Posted by: brak at January 02, 2015 12:59 PM (Tj+s6)

102 Wasn't Harry Reid played by one of The Smother's Brothers in Casino?

Posted by: JoeF. at January 02, 2015 12:59 PM (QbuHa)

103 "Honestly, all kidding aside - does Hairy Reed even look as though he could manage one push-up, let alone an exercise band and a treadmill?"

Perhaps he borrowed those five-pound stroke-victim-rehab dumbbells that the skinny SCOAMF was pictured "working out" with.

Those things can put on a real hurting if they get away from you.

Posted by: torquewrench at January 02, 2015 12:59 PM (noWW6)

104 **high fives rickb223**
**pushes rickb233 down, then RUNS**


**breaks, arm, collar bone, ribs**

Posted by: rickb223 at January 02, 2015 12:59 PM (nfmRC)

105 Hey, I'd pitch to Harry Reid *anytime*

Posted by: Rosie O'Donnell at January 02, 2015 01:00 PM (BxDum)

106 He touched me where my bathing suit covers.

Posted by: What You Talkin Bout Willis at January 02, 2015 01:00 PM (27KAF)

107 28 It was an exercise band. How does that happen?
I know they break easy, not clear how some flimsy rubber band snapping then breaks your face and ribs.

Posted by: Costanza Defense at January 02, 2015 12:49 PM (ZPrif)



Where I work we use large rubber bands (size #107) to hold boxes of files closed. About a month ago I was trying to stretch a new one to fit on the box. It broke, and I punched myself *hard* in the mouth. I was damn lucky I didn't knock out a tooth.

Would have made a great YouTube.

Posted by: rickl at January 02, 2015 01:00 PM (zoehZ)

108 Yeah..... but...... you dont have that far to fall either....

Posted by: fixerupper at January 02, 2015 12:56 PM (NaV4z)


Chicks have air bags.

Posted by: Berserker-Dragonheads Division at January 02, 2015 01:00 PM (FMbng)

109 Every. Senior. Citizen. Should. Have. Life Alert



#FallenCan'tGetUp

Posted by: rickb223 at January 02, 2015 01:00 PM (nfmRC)

110
>>>He's just leaning his full 125lb frame into it

Yeah, right. The bullshit alone in his frame goes 140 at least.

Posted by: Hairy Reed, unindicted pederast at January 02, 2015 01:00 PM (XMDuf)

111 Poor Harry can't keep from running into things with this face.

Posted by: Ricardo Kill at January 02, 2015 01:01 PM (LA7Cm)

112 Hmmmm, his big exercise play is an elastic band?

How much is this guy worth?

Posted by: Seems Legit at January 02, 2015 01:01 PM (A98Xu)

113 he probably was doing some chest or shoulder exercises

-
Yeah, twelve ounce curls.

Posted by: The Great White Snark at January 02, 2015 01:01 PM (LImiJ)

114 Harry Reid really is like Senator Pat Geary from "The Godfather," isn't he?

Well in reality, the corrupt politician in Casino played by the Smother's Brother IS bases DIRECTLY on Reid

Posted by: Nevergiveup at January 02, 2015 01:01 PM (nzKvP)

115 That's Drudge's headline


Actually, the headline was Reid Breaks Face

It's funnier because more minimalist.

Posted by: Citizen X at January 02, 2015 01:01 PM (7ObY1)

116 Posted by: rickl at January 02, 2015 01:00 PM (zoehZ)

Or at least that's what you told the wife.

Posted by: Bitter Clinger and All That at January 02, 2015 01:01 PM (RZzX3)

117 It really is strange. Here's my speculation though. My grandmother had a condition called normal pressure hydrocephalous that started in her late 60s. It presents similarly to Parkinson's, but without the shakes. She would inexplicably fall almost every day. Eventually it progresses to the point that you lose bladder control, and finally goes into dementia. It's treatable, but the treatment is very intense. My grandmother was in the ICU for months and if you fall after the surgery, it's catastrophic. She fell one more time and very nearly died and was left with a traumatic brain injury.

All that to say, he's unfit for office and likely quite ill.

Posted by: Lauren at January 02, 2015 01:01 PM (MYCIw)

118 I didn't punch him in the ribs! I kicked him in the goddamn balls!

Posted by: Hairy Reed's Latest Victim at January 02, 2015 01:01 PM (9GG/0)

119 'Exercise Equipment' is a funny name for a tranny hooker.

Posted by: --- at January 02, 2015 01:01 PM (MMC8r)

120 Pro-tip - put tennis balls on the feet of that walker, Harry.

Posted by: Hillary Clinton at January 02, 2015 01:01 PM (fWLrt)

121 Sock off.

Posted by: LibertarianJim at January 02, 2015 01:02 PM (XMDuf)

122 Like I said earlier, I see how a band could snap back and hurt his face, but the ribs?

Posted by: Seems Legit at January 02, 2015 01:02 PM (A98Xu)

123 just saying
Posted by: ThunderB at January 02, 2015 12:59 PM (zOTsN)

Let's see... That'd be, what-- nose broken, raccoon eyes, lips split/ possible tooth damage, busted ribs maybe lower right side?

We'll see what he turns up with.

Posted by: Secundus at January 02, 2015 01:02 PM (t9hL9)

124 Check all glass doors for face prints.

Posted by: Thin veneer of civility at January 02, 2015 01:02 PM (XzRw1)

125 The only thing left to do is find out which Koch brother snuck in and loosened the bolts on my Nordic track. Chuck or David?

Posted by: Sen. Harry Reid at January 02, 2015 01:02 PM (t72+4)

126 I can vouch for his 'exercise' program.

He was going at it with me when the 2x4 strapped to his butt broke. He fell. Let's just say I'm deep. IYKWIMAITYD

At least that's my testimony to the insurance investigator.

Posted by: Lena Dunham at January 02, 2015 01:02 PM (l0lja)

127 I'm glad to know fundraising constitutes "work".

Fucking pieces of shit, every single one of them.

Posted by: Dack Thrombosis at January 02, 2015 01:02 PM (oFCZn)

128 the roofies wore off.

Posted by: OG Celtic-American at January 02, 2015 01:03 PM (S5kDr)

129 A broken exercise band supposedly broke, snapped back and hit him in the face, which caused him to fall onto other exercise equipment that broke his ribs.

Then he staggered into the room full of mousetraps, then out the open window...

Posted by: toby928(C) at January 02, 2015 01:03 PM (rwI+c)

130 Check all glass doors for face prints.



Stairs for skid marks.

Posted by: rickb223 at January 02, 2015 01:03 PM (nfmRC)

131 20

So if we post this same thing on different threads, can it be Googled?

Posted by: Bretzysdude at January 02, 2015 01:03 PM (Vgq9g)

132 We need to find out his real relationship with that pomegranate tree!

Posted by: Pmzey at January 02, 2015 01:03 PM (pmzey)

133 Harry needs to take calcium supplements with vitamin D because he must have brittle bones.
How old is he?

My doctor made me start taking calcium 15 years ago because I'm a little white woman, her words, not mine, and more prone to get osteoporosis.

I take them twice a day, breakfast & dinner.

Posted by: Carol at January 02, 2015 01:03 PM (sj3Ax)

134 ...and onto exploding bomb...

Posted by: --- at January 02, 2015 01:04 PM (MMC8r)

135 Then he staggered into the room full of mousetraps, then out the open window...
Posted by: toby928(C) at January 02, 2015 01:03 PM (rwI+c)

---
amen--- this is ridiculous

Posted by: Seems Legit at January 02, 2015 01:04 PM (A98Xu)

136 So we make up this fucking story, you know you fell. Then I'll do the face lift.



Kids love a smooth face.

Posted by: Da Plastic Surgeon at January 02, 2015 01:04 PM (0FSuD)

137 Conservatives are beating the shit out of him in his sleep.

Posted by: Citation X driver at January 02, 2015 01:04 PM (Sqmjr)

138 . . and just missed the big spring.

Posted by: Bitter Clinger and All That at January 02, 2015 01:04 PM (RZzX3)

139 Was beautiful night, Harry.

I come in you, you fall on floor. Break ribs and face.

Posted by: Thai Tranny Hooker at January 02, 2015 01:05 PM (nmeI4)

140 He tripped and fell into someone's fists.

Or he's blacking out and collapsing, maybe the bathroom which has a lot of hard surfaces.

But I love how they blame it on *broken* equipment, because dear Hairy is faultless.

Posted by: Lizzy at January 02, 2015 01:05 PM (ABcz/)

141 He's Montgomery Burns, but with less drive, mental acuity, and charming personality. He doesn't exercise; some minion does it for him and then compliments him on his "magnificent effort." The mysterious injuries were probably sustained while attempting to either give or take a shit. One of the two. A major cardiovascular effort either way.

Posted by: AMartel at January 02, 2015 01:05 PM (WWgnZ)

142 @51 He's Mormon like Pelosi's a Catholic.
----------------------

My understanding is that he still attends services frequently (I don't think Pelosi does that). If someone were to get proof that he was drinking, I think it would hurt him critically in Nevada.

Posted by: junior at January 02, 2015 01:05 PM (UWFpX)

143 @ 2. I lol'ed. Nice!

Posted by: fly gal at January 02, 2015 01:05 PM (8TdcF)

144 Where I work we use large rubber bands (size #107) to hold boxes of files closed. About a month ago I was trying to stretch a new one to fit on the box. It broke, and I punched myself *hard* in the mouth. I was damn lucky I didn't knock out a tooth.

Would have made a great YouTube.


You shouldn't be so hard on yourself, it was only a broken band.

Posted by: homewithflu at January 02, 2015 01:05 PM (MVzEb)

145 Senator, she has no family and the media will report that you fell off your bicycle while staying at Mr Escobar's home, and it'll be as if none of this ever happened.

Posted by: Tom Hagen at January 02, 2015 01:06 PM (GrXXa)

146 ok so he was chasing down some children to haul into his "free candy" van and face planted into the side of it while the children escaped. why are the children racist?

- media

Posted by: Jay in CDA at January 02, 2015 01:06 PM (xGt2P)

147 Dingy Harry was kicked by a goat. No means no.

Posted by: myiq2xu at January 02, 2015 01:06 PM (5fSr7)

148 Lauren,
I'm sorry about your grandmother.

Posted by: Carol at January 02, 2015 01:06 PM (sj3Ax)

149 And then he fell into the vat of tar and climbed out just as the explosion caused all the feathers to fly around and stick to the Searchlight Strangler.

Posted by: Furious George at January 02, 2015 01:06 PM (UlJ3l)

150 his security detail took him to the hospital. they would know

but his injuries are just like my dads when he went through a windshield

and he didnt hurt his hands or wrists

just face and ribs

Posted by: ThunderB at January 02, 2015 01:06 PM (zOTsN)

151 Perhaps the "punching bag" he was exercising with punched back.

Posted by: chique d'afrique (the artist formerly known as african chick) at January 02, 2015 01:06 PM (oa/c7)

152 I still can't get over the '...outside his residence at the Ritz Carlton'.

Posted by: garrett at January 02, 2015 01:06 PM (nmeI4)

153 If someone were to get proof that he was drinking, I think it would hurt him critically in Nevada.
Posted by: junior at January 02, 2015 01:05 PM (UWFpX)


Yeah just like if someone got proof that Rangel was crooked senile bigot it might hurt him in his district in NYC?

Posted by: Nevergiveup at January 02, 2015 01:06 PM (nzKvP)

154 My understanding is that he still attends services
frequently (I don't think Pelosi does that). If someone were to get
proof that he was drinking, I think it would hurt him critically in
Nevada.



Posted by: junior at January 02, 2015 01:05 PM (UWFpX)

He loves wearing the magical underwear. Little Johnny likes the look

Posted by: Nip Sip at January 02, 2015 01:07 PM (0FSuD)

155 Well, I was a little concerned when the woman -- or man, I wasn't entirely sure -- told me to "Bite the pillow" but I didn't think they would push my head and face THAT hard into the bed's headboard.

Posted by: Harry Reid at January 02, 2015 01:07 PM (Am9Tn)

156 Thank you, Carol. She was a fighter to the end.

Posted by: Lauren at January 02, 2015 01:07 PM (MYCIw)

157 OR
Senator Geary slipped and fell in hooker blood.

Posted by: AMartel at January 02, 2015 01:07 PM (WWgnZ)

158 Harry Reid has a BowFlex machine?

Posted by: Midnight Panhandler at January 02, 2015 01:07 PM (wv4qu)

159 Maybe it was a bizarre gardening accident.

Posted by: Dave Shanahan at January 02, 2015 01:07 PM (VtXJ6)

160 Wile E. Harry.

Posted by: joncelli at January 02, 2015 01:07 PM (RD7QR)

161 Random unexplained injuries can be chalked up to substance abuse.

Posted by: Kreplach at January 02, 2015 01:07 PM (IGt06)

162 Nanny Goats say NAH NAH

Billy goats'll kick your ass.

Posted by: Bitter Clinger and All That at January 02, 2015 01:08 PM (RZzX3)

163 Dear Diary,
Today I found myself a hot little Puerto Rican number. Although at age 12, I fear he might be a bit old. Should I try the strap-on or the ball gag? Well the ball gag always hurts my face when I use it so I think I'll stick with the exercise bands.

Posted by: Hairy Reed's Diary Entry, Jan. 1, 2015 at January 02, 2015 01:08 PM (9GG/0)

164 now, if you drive drunk and hit something, you bang your face on the airbag or steering wheel, and break you ribs on the seat belt or steering wheel

just saying


Are you suggesting he crashed his windowless van in a drunken stupor?

Posted by: toby928(C) at January 02, 2015 01:08 PM (rwI+c)

165 I still can't get over the '...outside his residence at the Ritz Carlton'.

Posted by: garrett at January 02, 2015 01:06 PM (nmeI4)

" Be a shame if something happened to your liquor license at this Hotel"? Now let's talk about the Senator's room

Posted by: Nevergiveup at January 02, 2015 01:08 PM (nzKvP)

166 Harry Reid has a BowFlex machine?

Posted by: Midnight Panhandler at January 02, 2015 01:07 PM (wv4qu)

----

Yup. And if you cross the cables and put on a bungee chord.... you can launch a five year old across the room onto my "landing pad"......

Posted by: Hairy Reed at January 02, 2015 01:08 PM (NaV4z)

167 Maybe it's Karma for the evil SOB he is?

Posted by: Carol at January 02, 2015 01:08 PM (sj3Ax)

168 He likes his boys strong and rough?

Posted by: Common Sense at January 02, 2015 01:09 PM (+YNzP)

169 "Thank you, Carol. "


Sorry to hear, Lauren.

Posted by: Ricardo Kill at January 02, 2015 01:09 PM (LA7Cm)

170
I'm going to go with "bar fight".

Posted by: I R A Darth Aggie at January 02, 2015 01:10 PM (1hM1d)

171 Two things I really can't picture Harry Reid doing are (i) excercising, and (b) engaging in a sex act of any kind.

Posted by: Bandersnatch at January 02, 2015 01:10 PM (JtwS4)

172 To be fair, prancercising is pretty tricky.

Posted by: RWC at January 02, 2015 01:10 PM (fWAjv)

173 Such a punchable face, he did it himself.

Posted by: Shoot Me at January 02, 2015 01:10 PM (EQcfE)

174
Ok yall..... gotta run. Happy New Year.

Posted by: fixerupper at January 02, 2015 01:10 PM (NaV4z)

175 I squeezed him between my index finger and thumb...like a bug.

Posted by: The Hand Of God at January 02, 2015 01:10 PM (XzRw1)

176 AN INLIGHTENED RENISANCE MAN SLOWS DOWN YOUR RACISM AND Y'ALL ARE BLOODTHIRSTY! SPIT!

Posted by: KayInMaine at January 02, 2015 01:10 PM (zW/rD)

177 Maybe it's a Twilight Zone thing. Every time sleeps all his victims come and punch him.

Posted by: The Great White Snark at January 02, 2015 01:11 PM (LImiJ)

178 But the important thing is, does Ted Cruz have an alibi? If not then we should totally get one for him and encourage him to do it again.

Posted by: chemjeff at January 02, 2015 01:11 PM (9GG/0)

179 ribs and face. just like a car accident

Posted by: ThunderB at January 02, 2015 01:11 PM (zOTsN)

180 The more painful the sequence you morons imagine, the more it pleases me. Thanks.

Posted by: Mr. Dave at January 02, 2015 12:57 PM (9z/Dk)


Sepsis-infected wounds.

You're welcome.

Posted by: Mary Poppins' Practically Perfect Piercing at January 02, 2015 01:11 PM (zF6Iw)

181 I'm going with he's behind on his vigorish.

And he just lost the majority leadership.

Some people'll bet on anything.

Posted by: Bitter Clinger and All That at January 02, 2015 01:11 PM (RZzX3)

182 171
Two things I really can't picture Harry Reid doing are (i) excercising, and (b) engaging in a sex act of any kind.

Posted by: Bandersnatch at January 02, 2015 01:10 PM (JtwS4)

I wouldn't call it sex either.

Posted by: Hairy Reed's Strapon at January 02, 2015 01:12 PM (9GG/0)

183 The more painful the sequence you morons imagine, the more it pleases me. Thanks.

Posted by: Mr. Dave at January 02, 2015 12:57 PM (9z/Dk)

Sepsis-infected wounds.

You're welcome


Earwigs?

Posted by: --- at January 02, 2015 01:12 PM (MMC8r)

184 Garrett, where did you see the Ritz reference?

Posted by: Secundus at January 02, 2015 01:12 PM (t9hL9)

185 Maybe it's Karma for the evil SOB he is?

Posted by: Carol at January 02, 2015 01:08 PM (sj3Ax)


My idea of karma would have involved the breaking band hurling his silly ass through a 10th story plate glass window.

Posted by: Berserker-Dragonheads Division at January 02, 2015 01:12 PM (FMbng)

186 Security footage of the accident:

http://gifsoup.com/view/1943851/guy-falls-off-treadmill.html

Posted by: tdarrington at January 02, 2015 01:12 PM (dnWSK)

187 We know for a fact that Reid lies like an SOB.

Why should I believe he cracked his face and ribs on a broken exercise band?

I'm entitled to think the worst.

Posted by: Seems Legit at January 02, 2015 01:12 PM (A98Xu)

188 Crap. Never mind. Belay my last

Posted by: Secundus at January 02, 2015 01:13 PM (t9hL9)

189 184 Garrett, where did you see the Ritz reference?
Posted by: Secundus at January 02, 2015 01:12 PM (t9hL9)

---

In Ace's post.

Posted by: Seems Legit at January 02, 2015 01:13 PM (A98Xu)

190 No means NO!

Posted by: Dirty Harry's Underage 'Friends' at January 02, 2015 01:13 PM (LeFwz)

191 Actually, if he was drunk off his ass and got on the treadmill, I could see that happening. There's more than a few YouTube videos showing sober people tripping on a treadmill and taking a nasty tumble. Being drunk and telling family and stuff to shove it while clambering on the treadmill and accidentally punching it up to "4" seems good.

Then again, my earlier post sounds valid too. I bet Lance the "personal trainer" got a little too crazy, and the staff had to make something up on the ride to the ER.

No I don't think that's inappropriate humor. The LSM and Hollywood friends got their laughs from Cheney accidentally giving a friend a dose of bird shot. The honorable in the closet gentleman from Nevada definitely deserves all the mean snark aimed his way.


Posted by: exdem13 at January 02, 2015 01:13 PM (/mTq0)

192 I think it's pretty obvious the guy is not 100% lucid, the way he mumble-tirades about the eeevil Koch brothers on the Senate floor. Doubt he's the only Senator dealing with some bit of dimentia or senility (I'm looking at you, Juan McCain angry old man!).

Seriously, there should be an age limit to serving in office and/or like driving tests, required regular check-ups/proof of health after a certain age as confirmation. Aw, who am I kidding, there was that one Congressman who was still serving while in a coma....

Posted by: Lizzy at January 02, 2015 01:13 PM (ABcz/)

193 141

I was thinking more like the accident-prone waiter who wouldn't pronounce "Chowdah" in the way Quimby's nephew wanted it.

Posted by: Bretzysdude at January 02, 2015 01:13 PM (Vgq9g)

194 Bow Flex....A DIVISION OF KOCH INDUSTRIES!

Posted by: Sen. Harry Reid at January 02, 2015 01:13 PM (t72+4)

195 JAAANNNNEEEE! STOP THIS CRAZY THING!!!

Posted by: Harry Reid at January 02, 2015 01:14 PM (rwI+c)

196 @153 Yeah just like if someone got proof that Rangel was crooked senile bigot it might hurt him in his district in NYC?
-------------------------

You're not thinking about this in the right way. Rangel gets his power base from the black community. Being a crooked senile bigot (you forgot tax dodger) isn't a big deal so long as you're a pro-black bigot. If, on the other hand, he endorsed the KKK, it would cause all sorts of problems.

Reid gets votes in part because he passes himself off to LIVs as a devout Mormon in heavily LDS Nevada. If it were discovered that he was getting fall-down drunk, then it would cause problems with the image that he's presented.

Posted by: junior at January 02, 2015 01:14 PM (UWFpX)

197
I'll just say boys will be boys.

Posted by: Harry Reid at January 02, 2015 01:14 PM (t2Yjj)

198 Ever seen someone get thrown off a treadmill? It ain't pretty. Neither is Harry. I bet that's what happened.

Posted by: Cornfed at January 02, 2015 01:14 PM (Hoy9u)

199 Obviously a Jhoon Rhee student.

Posted by: RWC - Nobody Bodda Me at January 02, 2015 01:14 PM (fWAjv)

200 I bet Lance the "personal trainer" got a little too crazy, and the staff had to make something up on the ride to the ER.

But I'm only 13!

Posted by: Lance at January 02, 2015 01:14 PM (9GG/0)

201 The more painful the sequence you morons imagine, the more it pleases me. Thanks.



Posted by: Mr. Dave at January 02, 2015 12:57 PM (9z/Dk)


Botfly hatchings.


Posted by: Thin veneer of civility at January 02, 2015 01:14 PM (XzRw1)

202 the Ritz reference is from a previous incident.

Posted by: Bitter Clinger and All That at January 02, 2015 01:15 PM (RZzX3)

203 I'm thinking pedo BD session gone bad.

Posted by: cthulhu at January 02, 2015 01:15 PM (T1005)

204 MITT ROMNEY'S TAX RETURN KICKED MY ASS!

Posted by: --- at January 02, 2015 01:15 PM (MMC8r)

205 He was demonstrating to some cub scouts that the trampoline (the one with the pillow on it) was perfectly safe. Kind of got his feet tangled up in the pillowcase.

Posted by: boulder terlit hobo at January 02, 2015 01:15 PM (7j5N9)

206
he is a drunk. explains alot
Posted by: ThunderB at January 02, 2015 12:55 PM (zOTsN)

Plausible. Maybe even probable. It may explain all the insane stuff he has said in the past. Black heart + alcoholism. Could might be.

But who knows, maybe he really is an exercise fiend, but permit me to have my doubts.

Remember that the Lion of the Senate was also a drunk.

Posted by: chique d'afrique (the artist formerly known as african chick) at January 02, 2015 01:15 PM (oa/c7)

207 Senator Reid working out on his treadmill: http://tinyurl.com/p8rn9km

Posted by: Slappy at January 02, 2015 01:15 PM (Am9Tn)

208 Some years ago, my family gathered for Christmas. Santa brought someone a treadmill. Someone turns it on. My 80 year old aunt steps up on it, not realizing she has to grab the support handles first. Legs go jerk back out from under her. Aunt plants face on treadmill. But fortunately no injuries.

Posted by: saltlick at January 02, 2015 01:15 PM (4JTFf)

209 Too much bondage, not enough discipline.

Posted by: --- at January 02, 2015 01:16 PM (MMC8r)

210 Some of those young boys put up quite the struggle.

Posted by: steevy at January 02, 2015 01:16 PM (v5UtH)

211 Something happened in that hotel room.

Posted by: Nancy Grace at January 02, 2015 01:16 PM (rwI+c)

212 Good news. 20 states will had an increase in the minimum wage yesterday. I look forward to spending $9 for a Big Mac meal in the near future.

Posted by: Mr. Moo Moo at January 02, 2015 01:16 PM (0LHZx)

213 This is what you get when trying to take a selfie - just inches from a moving train.

Posted by: Islamic Rage Boy at January 02, 2015 01:16 PM (e8kgV)

214 I hate it when the Susanne Summers thigh machine flies out of your legs and bounces off the wall and smacks your face and ribs

Posted by: Jay in CDA at January 02, 2015 01:17 PM (xGt2P)

215 Good thing botox is safe and doesn't affect one's cognitive abilities, huh?

Posted by: Nancy Pelosi at January 02, 2015 01:17 PM (ABcz/)

216 Maybe his 'date' saw the Princess Bride and switched the cups of hot cocoa around.

Posted by: adolfo_velasquez at January 02, 2015 01:17 PM (Lp6I1)

217 He's 75 & we really should have mandatory retirement for senators & reps. If they reach age 70 when term ends out you go.

That would clean out half of the problems.

Posted by: Carol at January 02, 2015 01:17 PM (sj3Ax)

218 Remember that the Lion of the Senate was also a drunk.

Posted by: chique d'afrique (the artist formerly known as african chick) at January 02, 2015 01:15 PM (oa/c7)

What Irish Catholic isn't?

Posted by: Nip Sip at January 02, 2015 01:17 PM (0FSuD)

219 In Ace's post.


I don't read those.

Posted by: garrett at January 02, 2015 01:17 PM (nmeI4)

220 Someone should buy Hairy a wood chipper for Kwanzaa.

Posted by: Thin veneer of civility at January 02, 2015 01:17 PM (XzRw1)

221 I hate it when the Susanne Summers thigh machine flies out of your legs and bounces off the wall and smacks your face and ribs

FTFY

Posted by: Circa (Insert Year Here) at January 02, 2015 01:18 PM (659DL)

222 Look, I told and told and TOLD him that I DID NOT want to watch any gladiator movies.

Posted by: Little Timmy at January 02, 2015 01:18 PM (D75QO)

223 i am sure its really difficult to cover up a car accident in las vegas

especially for the most powerful politician in the state. he would never pay the damages out of pocket and use his clout to avoid prosecution

Posted by: ThunderB at January 02, 2015 01:18 PM (zOTsN)

224

My tag ability sucks today.

Posted by: Circa (Insert Year Here) at January 02, 2015 01:18 PM (659DL)

225 Maybe be forgot his safety word?

P.S. It's "Palomino" Harry!

I know Harry Palomino, and you sir, are NO Harry Palomino!

Posted by: JB1000 at January 02, 2015 01:18 PM (16OL0)

226 Senator Reed Should be fine since the impilcation of the Affartable Health Care Act given to us by Presdent Obama. Thank You for everything you have done for all of us that need help because of Bush's poor policies.

Posted by: Mary Clogginstien from Brattleboro, VT at January 02, 2015 01:18 PM (Sd++4)

227 Can you think of a fall that causes you to break your face and ribs, but not, somehow, an arm or wrist?

One that involves slow reflexes?

Semi-seriously, only the goats know what happened.

Posted by: steveegg at January 02, 2015 01:18 PM (cL79m)

228 Back when I was a teenager my mom had one of those spring exercise contraptions connected to feet stirrups. I was making fun of mom , telling her that she wasted her money while I was pulling it like a retarded monkey, when my foot slipped out of the stirrup, slingshoting the hard plastic stirrup right into my eye. Hate to say it looked something like Reid's eye afterwards.

Posted by: Bob Belcher at January 02, 2015 01:18 PM (3jmxp)

229 Guess I picked the wrong time for a three-way.

Posted by: Captain Oveur at January 02, 2015 01:19 PM (9GG/0)

230 He's clearly a bottom/submissive. And he forgot the safe word.

Or, you know, he "forgot" it, the little perv.

Posted by: Phinn at January 02, 2015 01:19 PM (i5GO4)

231 I thought a 'Ritz Carlton' was when you jerked off on a cracker and fed it to a clean young black man who lacks a negro accent?

Posted by: garrett at January 02, 2015 01:19 PM (nmeI4)

232 Those desert roads can be treacherous at night, especially when you are tired from shoveling.

Posted by: toby928(C) at January 02, 2015 01:19 PM (rwI+c)

233 And I don't care how much candy he wants to give me, he's not touching my pee-pee!

Posted by: Little Timmy at January 02, 2015 01:19 PM (D75QO)

234 Prolly already been said, if I know my Moron Horde, but it sounds like the small boys are fighting back!

Good for them!

Posted by: Theresa2theD at January 02, 2015 01:19 PM (Ez5Cr)

235 Daily Mail has good stories.

Posted by: Carol at January 02, 2015 01:20 PM (sj3Ax)

236 Hate to say it looked something like Reid's eye afterwards.
Posted by: Bob Belcher at January 02, 2015 01:18 PM (3jmxp)

----

Bob, that's an old picture from a previous accident. And your experience only accounts for his face, not his ribs.

Posted by: Seems Legit at January 02, 2015 01:20 PM (A98Xu)

237 212
Good news. 20 states will had an increase in the minimum wage yesterday.
I look forward to spending $9 for a Big Mac meal in the near future.

Posted by: Mr. Moo Moo at January 02, 2015 01:16 PM (0LHZx)

NY Slime says this is wonderful and everyone should be excited that we will become France in a few years.

Posted by: Nip Sip at January 02, 2015 01:20 PM (0FSuD)

238 Well, I just looked up the D.C. Ritz and the bargain basement room is $250 per night. Suites look like they start at five grand and head north from there.

I'm sure ol' Harry gets a discount, but even at two-fifty per night that's still over $91,000 a year (assuming he keeps it year round).

You're welcome, asshole.

Posted by: Secundus at January 02, 2015 01:20 PM (t9hL9)

239 Sooo.... this happened THURSDAY?

What time was he admitted? on New Years DAY?

Question the timing....

Posted by: BB Wolf at January 02, 2015 01:21 PM (qh617)

240 Am I alone in picturing Hairy Reed using one of those vibrating weight loss belts like you see in films from the 1930s? And the belt snaps and sends him flying and breaks his face and ribs.

Posted by: MWR, Proud Tea(rrorist) Party Assault Hobbit & Vaginassassin, aka Beth at January 02, 2015 01:21 PM (4df7R)

241 Look if you're going to have rough sex with young boys, do it with style!

Posted by: Zombie Liberace at January 02, 2015 01:21 PM (9GG/0)

242 Reid gets votes in part because he passes himself off to LIVs as a devout Mormon in heavily LDS Nevada.



Irony lost to the casinos.

Posted by: rickb223 at January 02, 2015 01:21 PM (nfmRC)

243 To be fair, I skimmed Ace's pull quote and got that all wrong. His residence is near the Ritz.

But let's not let facts get in the way of bashing in Harry Reid's face.

Posted by: garrett at January 02, 2015 01:21 PM (nmeI4)

244 If that old man tries to take me to a Turkish bath one more time, I'll shine his other eye.

Posted by: Little Timmy at January 02, 2015 01:22 PM (D75QO)

245 I don't care if I'm getting a merit badge, my pants stay ON!

Posted by: Little Timmy at January 02, 2015 01:22 PM (zF6Iw)

246 233
And I don't care how much candy he wants to give me, he's not touching my pee-pee!


Posted by: Little Timmy at January 02, 2015 01:19 PM (D75QO)

I just want to "kiss it"

Posted by: Harry Reid, Pederast at January 02, 2015 01:22 PM (0FSuD)

247 John Kerry had "hockey" injuries, otherwise known as plastic surgery. This is bizarre unless he is a drunk or has a neuro issue.

Posted by: Baldy at January 02, 2015 01:22 PM (+35FH)

248 Saw it mentioned on Twitter - possibly by one of the 'Rons here -- that "injured by exercise equipment" is a cute euphemism for "Florida State didn't cover."

Posted by: MWR, Proud Tea(rrorist) Party Assault Hobbit & Vaginassassin, aka Beth at January 02, 2015 01:22 PM (4df7R)

249 Posted by: Seems Legit at January 02, 2015 01:20 PM (A98Xu)

I forgot to say it knocked me off my feet but I was young so the fall didn't really cause any injury. Can't say it would not effected a 75 year old. Last thing I want to do is defend Reid.

Posted by: Bob Belcher at January 02, 2015 01:23 PM (3jmxp)

250 Posted by: Mr. Moo Moo at January 02, 2015 01:16 PM (0LHZx)

Not to worry. McD's will just speed up the roll out of the new ATM style order taker. Coming to a store near you.

Walmart's got em. Many relatively small grocery stores have 'em.

For people with no special requirements and the intelligence to deal with a machine interface.

And who don't want to deal with a stupid human interface. Or a mumbly one. Or one who doesn't speak the language. Or who is too busy talking to their co-workers to get your order. Or who looks like someone who escaped from a garbage dump just last week. Or who looks like "spot city". Or who has an attitude a yard wide. Or who's I.Q. is less than their waist size. Or the one's that act more confused than you are. Or the one's who think they're so cool but they're like 17 and boy do they have a surprise coming.

Posted by: Bitter Clinger and All That at January 02, 2015 01:23 PM (RZzX3)

251 "Can you think of a fall that causes you to break your face and ribs, but not, somehow, an arm or wrist?"

I'm an injury magnet, partly because I've ledan active life and partly because I took incredibly stupid risks when I was younger, and happen to know a lot about sprains and breaks and bumps and bruises. Harry Reid is a former amateur boxer. A former amateur boxer and longtime student of themartial arts myself, Reid's injuries; rather, the pattern of Reid's injuries,look/seem like training injuries from boxing. I looked like that too when I was doing lots of sparring and contact stuff. I no longer do contact stuff because (a) I can't afford the medical care and (b) it nowtakes weeks to heal from injuries from which I used to recover ina few days.

Harry should not do contact stuff, either. There comes a point when you're entirely too old for that shit.

Posted by: troyriser at January 02, 2015 01:23 PM (CAJL/)

252 @238

You do know you are paying for his room, right?


They get a per Diem allowance for their rooms, TAX FREE.

Posted by: Harry Reid, Pederast at January 02, 2015 01:23 PM (0FSuD)

253 >>But let's not let facts get in the way of bashing in Harry Reid's face.

Just like Hairy never lets facts get in the way of one of his Koch bros. or Romney mumble-tirades!

Posted by: Lizzy at January 02, 2015 01:23 PM (ABcz/)

254 243 To be fair, I skimmed Ace's pull quote and got that all wrong. His residence is near the Ritz.

----

I just straight up read it incorrectly.

Posted by: Seems Legit at January 02, 2015 01:23 PM (A98Xu)

255 This time, Mitch, let's re-enact the scene in "Pulp Fiction" that takes place in the back room of the pawn shop. I'll play Marcellus Wallace, you play Zed. I'll go get my ball gag from my bedroom closet. Meet you downstairs by the pommel horse.

Posted by: Harry Reid at January 02, 2015 01:23 PM (Am9Tn)

256
Buy head injury concussion at Amazon!
Free Shipping on Qualified Orders.

Posted by: Islamic Rage Boy at January 02, 2015 01:24 PM (e8kgV)

257 Seriously, about the only piece of exercise equipment that would cause those type of injuries upon breaking and causing one to fall is a treatmill. The funny thing is, Dingy Harry isn't exactly a heavyweight.

I'll charitably say that he's lying about the equipment failure.

Posted by: steveegg at January 02, 2015 01:24 PM (cL79m)

258 when i was a kid my dad got in a one car accident while drunk out in the boonies

he went through the windshield, banged up his face and his ribs. his arms and hands were fine. see when you are really drunk, passed out, you dont brace yourself for impact

he was taken by ambulance to the hospital. he was there a few days

he had the car towed to a junk yard

he bought a new car

no dui, no body knew. we werent allowed to say

reid in las vegas? does he live on a big property? like a ranch?

he could easily do this

Posted by: ThunderB at January 02, 2015 01:24 PM (zOTsN)

259 195 JAAANNNNEEEE! STOP THIS CRAZY THING!!!

Posted by: Harry Reid at January 02, 2015 01:14 PM (rwI+c)


Thread winner....

Posted by: BB Wolf at January 02, 2015 01:24 PM (qh617)

260 Ace's quote:

"Reid leaned on a wet car near his home in Washington, D.C.'s Ritz-Carlton hotel and tumbled to the ground."

I assume 'in' means he resides in the hotel.

Posted by: Secundus at January 02, 2015 01:24 PM (t9hL9)

261 Never get into an elevator with a black man like Ray Rice... no matter how clean & articulate he is....

Posted by: Sen. Harry Reid at January 02, 2015 01:24 PM (t72+4)

262 Posted by: troyriser at January 02, 2015 01:23 PM (CAJL/)

----

The picture in this post is from a previous injury.

Posted by: Seems Legit at January 02, 2015 01:25 PM (A98Xu)

263 This isn't funny, guys. I ruptured my colon falling onto a piece of equipment once.

Posted by: Barack Obama at January 02, 2015 12:49 PM (nFdGS)


What is funny is that all of your equipment is dildo shaped

Posted by: TheQuietMan at January 02, 2015 01:25 PM (1Jaio)

264 This ice cream cone is great, and all, but I don't want to see a grown man naked. So stop asking.

Posted by: Little Timmy at January 02, 2015 01:25 PM (D75QO)

265 @242 Irony lost to the casinos.
-------------------

No doubt. But it was a Mormon Colony before the vice industries arrived.

The LDS Church's stance is that it's fine for members to work in the casinos, but they're not allowed to gamble. The quip about the temple in Las Vegas is that it faces away from The Strip.

Posted by: junior at January 02, 2015 01:25 PM (UWFpX)

266 Needs more two-by-four.

Posted by: flounder at January 02, 2015 01:25 PM (FHh8u)

267 All kidding aside, there's a marked increase in exercise-related injuries in the ER for the first few weeks of the new year. This continues until the "stuff lost in the butt" brigade shows up for Valentine's Day before everything returns to normal.

Posted by: 3.14159 at January 02, 2015 01:26 PM (MaINI)

268 Seriously, about the only piece of exercise
equipment that would cause those type of injuries upon breaking and
causing one to fall is a treatmill. The funny thing is, Dingy Harry
isn't exactly a heavyweight.



I'll charitably say that he's lying about the equipment failure.

Posted by: steveegg at January 02, 2015 01:24 PM (cL79m)


Maybe he was using a treadmill, but because he's an old, wheezy bastard, he had himself strapped to it with one of those elastic workout bands so he wouldn't fall off while practicing his "quick burst of speed to capture nubile young boys" attack. Only he stretched the band too tight, it snapped, and he went face first into the still running treadmill, which kicked his ass like an angry father at a YMCA orientation.

Posted by: MWR, Proud Tea(rrorist) Party Assault Hobbit & Vaginassassin, aka Beth at January 02, 2015 01:26 PM (4df7R)

269 I assume 'in' means he resides in the hotel.
Posted by: Secundus at January 02, 2015 01:24 PM (t9hL9)

----

Okay, I've gotten this wrong 3 times.

Does the asshole live at the Ritz Carlton in DC when he's not in Henderson?

Posted by: Seems Legit at January 02, 2015 01:26 PM (A98Xu)

270 #13: "Harry's staff is going to have to be more careful."

I see what you did there. You don't want to go to one of Harry's "staff parties".

Posted by: Ray Van Dune at January 02, 2015 01:26 PM (LIyA2)

271 You do know you are paying for his room, right?


They get a per Diem allowance for their rooms, TAX FREE.
Posted by: Harry Reid, Pederast at January 02, 2015 01:23 PM (0FSuD)

Yes. Hence the 'asshole' bit.

Posted by: Secundus at January 02, 2015 01:27 PM (t9hL9)

272 Okay, I've gotten this wrong 3 times.



Does the asshole live at the Ritz Carlton in DC when he's not in Henderson?

Posted by: Seems Legit at January 02, 2015 01:26 PM (A98Xu)


That has been my understanding for several years, though his situation may have changed.

Posted by: MWR, Proud Tea(rrorist) Party Assault Hobbit & Vaginassassin, aka Beth at January 02, 2015 01:27 PM (4df7R)

273 this happened thursday

he has been in the hospital since then

there are no pictures of this yet

the picture above is from a previous incident

this did not happen at the ritz carlton, a previous incident did

this happened in las vegas

and hwat happens in vegas, stays in vegas

Posted by: ThunderB at January 02, 2015 01:27 PM (zOTsN)

274 >>"This isn't funny, guys. I ruptured my colon falling onto a piece of equipment once," - Obama

Yeah, and about that recent trip to the hospital for "acid reflux"....

Posted by: Lizzy at January 02, 2015 01:27 PM (ABcz/)

275 How come no hurt hand?

Posted by: Mr. Miyagi at January 02, 2015 01:27 PM (2Ojst)

276 He didn't just slip on his tea, did he?

Posted by: al zimer at January 02, 2015 01:27 PM (ScUhd)

277 Yuck. That one was the worst one yet. What a sleazeball. Rough 'im up a little and then throw him back.

Posted by: Anal Probing Aliens at January 02, 2015 01:27 PM (9GG/0)

278 263
This isn't funny, guys. I ruptured my colon falling onto a piece of equipment once.



Posted by: Barack Obama at January 02, 2015 12:49 PM (nFdGS

That's our story and we are sticking to it.

Posted by: Reggie, the butt fucker at January 02, 2015 01:27 PM (0FSuD)

279 What is funny is that all of your equipment is dildo shaped
Posted by: TheQuietMan at January 02, 2015 01:25 PM (1Jaio)

Okay... What are the odds Obama owns a shake weight?

Posted by: Secundus at January 02, 2015 01:28 PM (t9hL9)

280 ThunderB, you may be onto something.

Posted by: Seems Legit at January 02, 2015 01:28 PM (A98Xu)

281 No doubt. But it was a Mormon Colony before the vice industries arrived.

Huh. I thought LV was pretty much founded by East Coast mob guys.

Posted by: Little Timmy at January 02, 2015 01:28 PM (D75QO)

282 You break your face and ribs when you're shitfaced drunk and fall face first into the pavement. Just spitballing.

Posted by: Insomniac at January 02, 2015 01:29 PM (2Ojst)

283 The Koch Brothers should send him a "get well" bouquet.

Of stinkweed and poison sumac.

Posted by: Mary Poppins' Practically Perfect Piercing at January 02, 2015 01:29 PM (zF6Iw)

284 **Sobbing**

That's him, Officer.

That's the man from the Bike Shop!

Posted by: Dudley at January 02, 2015 01:29 PM (FWU+0)

285 Vito and Rocco called.

They were a bit miffed about being referred to as "pieces of equipment".

They're meticulously trained professionals, very disciplined, with considerable pride in their work.

Posted by: torquewrench at January 02, 2015 12:54 PM (noWW6)


The exercise equipment we install doesn't break until we decide it should break, and then it will fail spectacularly.

Posted by: V and R Exercise Equipment Installation at January 02, 2015 01:29 PM (cL79m)

286 279 What is funny is that all of your equipment is dildo shaped
Posted by: TheQuietMan at January 02, 2015 01:25 PM (1Jaio)

Okay... What are the odds Obama owns a shake weight?
Posted by: Secundus at January 02, 2015 01:28 PM (t9hL9)

Now with refreshing mist spraying feature!

Posted by: Insomniac at January 02, 2015 01:29 PM (2Ojst)

287 this happened in las vegas
and hwat happens in vegas,


Usually takes penicillin to get rid of.

Posted by: rickb223 at January 02, 2015 01:29 PM (nfmRC)

288 I thought LV was basically the Hoover Dam workers' "relaxation" town?

Posted by: chemjeff at January 02, 2015 01:30 PM (9GG/0)

289 Huh. I thought LV was pretty much founded by East Coast mob guys.


Posted by: Little Timmy at January 02, 2015 01:28 PM (D75QO)

And Mormon bankers who processed everything and took a cut.

Posted by: Nip Sip at January 02, 2015 01:30 PM (0FSuD)

290 Huh. I thought LV was pretty much founded by East Coast mob guys.
Posted by: Little Timmy at January 02, 2015 01:28 PM (D75QO)



I want to say that it's PJ O'Rourke who said what's great about America is that someone will look at a desert wasteland and go hey! I'm going to build a casino there and make a ton of money!

Posted by: alexthechick - SMOD/Orion Death Star 2016 at January 02, 2015 01:30 PM (mf5HN)

291 Kerry had "hockey" injuries, otherwise known as plastic surgery.

And he turned orange after touch football, as I recall.

Posted by: --- at January 02, 2015 01:30 PM (MMC8r)

292 The real problem with increasing the minimum wage isn't the burger flipper making $10 instead of $7. The true issue is everyone else ends up getting a $3 raise as well. The guy making $10 for a $10 job will now demand $13. The guy making $13 will now demand $16. And so on up the ladder.

And every union contract is based on a formula that uses the minimum wage as a base. When that base goes up, every union member gets a raise as well.

Posted by: Mr. Moo Moo at January 02, 2015 01:30 PM (0LHZx)

293 I want to say that it's PJ O'Rourke who said what's great about America is that someone will look at a desert wasteland and go hey! I'm going to build a casino there and make a ton of money!

Posted by: alexthechick - SMOD/Orion Death Star 2016 at January 02, 2015 01:30 PM (mf5HN)


Well, you got the 'build a casino' bit right. . .

Posted by: Bugsy Siegel at January 02, 2015 01:31 PM (zF6Iw)

294 Finally - a NEW YEAR and Boehner is KICKING ASS and taking names!!

Posted by: Stateless Infidel at January 02, 2015 01:31 PM (AC0lD)

295 My Mom has had two of these sort of injuries, but then she is 74, half blind...

On the other hand she once told me years ago that she thought he was "a very handsome man, but crooks and conmen usually are."

Posted by: RoyL at January 02, 2015 01:32 PM (wdHQo)

296 >>A statement issued Friday by Reid's office said doctors expect a "full recovery."


How sad.

Posted by: Aviator at January 02, 2015 01:32 PM (3rrMW)

297 I think that he has a case of the Hillary Malfunction Syndrom. Unexplained and multiple falls attributed to somethink other than what really happened. Drunken stupor? Confused Haze?

Posted by: cheri at January 02, 2015 01:32 PM (oiNtH)

298 "This isn't funny, guys. I ruptured my colon falling onto a piece of equipment once.



Posted by: Barack Obama "



Fusilli Barry....?

Posted by: Ricardo Kill at January 02, 2015 01:32 PM (LA7Cm)

299 And Mormon bankers who processed everything and took a cut.



Because you can only do the Lord's work for so long without a big bankroll.

Posted by: rickb223 at January 02, 2015 01:32 PM (nfmRC)

300 " The true issue is everyone else ends up getting a $3 raise as well. The guy making $10 for a $10 job will now demand $13. The guy making $13 will now demand $16. And so on up the ladder. "

That's not always true. A lot of times the guy making $10 keeps on making $10, but has now seen his buying power slashed.

Posted by: Lauren at January 02, 2015 01:32 PM (1cnJC)

301 I knew it was a mistake letting Andrew Sullivan into the Fight Club, guys always end up on the concrete, 'face down ass-up'....

Posted by: Sen. Harry Reid at January 02, 2015 01:32 PM (t72+4)

302 So what are the odds any of the late night shows touch this?


Slim, he's a democrat. Think about the SNL Ford skits, he was a GOPe. Think we will see ANYTHING about this on SNL?



I take no for a $1000, Alex.

Posted by: Nip Sip at January 02, 2015 01:32 PM (0FSuD)

303 Harry Reid was never a handsome man.

He's creepy looking and only good for fetish sex.

Posted by: Seems Legit at January 02, 2015 01:32 PM (A98Xu)

304 Pillow fight. Pillow full of doorknobs.

Posted by: Bertram Cabot Jr. at January 02, 2015 01:32 PM (W5DcG)

305 Yeah, he's a functioning alcoholic.

Posted by: Quint&Jessel, Sea of Azof, Bly, UK at January 02, 2015 01:33 PM (0I3D8)

306 Looks like the sort of injuries one would suffer when motor-boating a stripper with breast enhancements.

Posted by: Blor Utar at January 02, 2015 01:33 PM (IKa7V)

307 LV was a western town until the 30s. Then it was a boom town thanks to Boulder(Hoover) Dam followed closely by WW2.

It didn't get all casino-y until the mid to late 40s.

Posted by: Mr. Moo Moo at January 02, 2015 01:34 PM (0LHZx)

308 @281 Huh. I thought LV was pretty much founded by East Coast mob guys.
---------------

I don't know about LV specifically (the Mormons established a fort there around 1855, though it was apparently abandoned not long afterwards). But I do know that quite a few communities throughout the state were Mormon colonies.

Posted by: junior at January 02, 2015 01:34 PM (UWFpX)

309 I guess one bad turn deserves another but I can't bring myself to make fun of Reid's injury when I condemned the Left for going after Bush when he had his bike accident. Inconsistency is a pet peeve of mine I try to avoid.

Posted by: Bob Belcher at January 02, 2015 01:34 PM (3jmxp)

310 And Mormon bankers who processed everything and took a cut.

Heh. This sounds like an interesting bit of history that nobody has written very much about.

Posted by: OregonMuse at January 02, 2015 01:34 PM (D75QO)

311 Like Christmas in April!


http://tinyurl.com/qfm6y3t

Half of Obamacare subsidy recipients may owe refunds to the IRS

Posted by: RWC - Nobody Bodda Me at January 02, 2015 01:34 PM (fWAjv)

312 Most modern treadmills have a dead mans lanyard. Then again, considering what a crusty relic Reid is, his might have been designed by Noah....or Vic.

Posted by: Thin veneer of civility at January 02, 2015 01:34 PM (XzRw1)

313 The first rule about Stroke Club is you never talk about Stroke Club...

Posted by: Hillary Clinton at January 02, 2015 01:34 PM (XO6WW)

314

His wife has one helluva jab, uppercut, and hook. Probably more sucker punches than any other, I suspect.

Posted by: artisanal 'ette at January 02, 2015 01:35 PM (IXrOn)

315 The powers that be in Las Vegas are still very Mormon today.

Posted by: Mr. Moo Moo at January 02, 2015 01:35 PM (0LHZx)

316 Half of Obamacare subsidy recipients may owe refunds to the IRS
Posted by: RWC - Nobody Bodda Me at January 02, 2015 01:34 PM (fWAjv)

_____________

Prediction: EO coming out around April 10th saying they don't have to pay the money back.

Posted by: Mr. Moo Moo at January 02, 2015 01:35 PM (0LHZx)

317 Posted by: Thin veneer of civility at January 02, 2015 01:34 PM (XzRw1)

You mean that bit of string that's always wrapped around the handles so it stays out of the way?

Posted by: Secundus at January 02, 2015 01:36 PM (t9hL9)

318 313 The first rule about Stroke Club is you never talk about Stroke Club...
Posted by: Hillary Clinton at January 02, 2015 01:34 PM (XO6WW)

---

My favorite so far.

Posted by: Seems Legit at January 02, 2015 01:36 PM (A98Xu)

319 Posted by: Bob Belcher at January 02, 2015 01:34 PM (3jmxp)

Yeah but Bush wasn't an obnoxious prick like Harry' been.

Posted by: Bitter Clinger and All That at January 02, 2015 01:36 PM (RZzX3)

320

He probably lost focus while day dreaming of new ways to destroy the Koch Bros.

Posted by: artisanal 'ette at January 02, 2015 01:36 PM (IXrOn)

321 @302 So what are the odds any of the late night shows touch this?


Slim, he's a democrat. Think about the SNL Ford skits, he was a GOPe. Think we will see ANYTHING about this on SNL?



I take no for a $1000, Alex.
--------------------

Given that SNL mocked Romney in 2012 by having him do something that Biden did in real life in 2008...

I'd say that we'll shortly see a skit in which Mitch McConnell gets fall-down drunk, and tries to blame it on exercise equipment.

Posted by: junior at January 02, 2015 01:36 PM (UWFpX)

322

It'd be a shame if an aneurism would develop from this...

I'd hate to pay to this jerk's funeral.

Posted by: All 2014 Soothsayers Must Go Clearance Sale! at January 02, 2015 01:36 PM (haxo2)

323 @311

Wait, so you are saying LIVs lied about their income to get free shit?



Nah, that never happens. Just some racist story.

Posted by: Nip Sip at January 02, 2015 01:36 PM (0FSuD)

324 A statement issued Friday by Reid's office said doctors expect a "full recovery."

I think they said "fool recovery."

Posted by: Bertram Cabot Jr. at January 02, 2015 01:36 PM (W5DcG)

325 Prediction: EO coming out around April 10th saying they don't have to pay the money back.
Posted by: Mr. Moo Moo at January 02, 2015 01:35 PM (0LHZx)

...Unless you gave money to Republicans.

Posted by: Secundus at January 02, 2015 01:37 PM (t9hL9)

326
kicked his ass like an angry father at a YMCA orientation

*puts on super quiet ninja line-stealing shoes*

*steals this*

Posted by: Bandersnatch at January 02, 2015 01:37 PM (JtwS4)

327 You mean that bit of string that's always wrapped around the handles so it stays out of the way?


Yes, the same type on boats and jet ski's. LOL

Posted by: Thin veneer of civility at January 02, 2015 01:37 PM (XzRw1)

328 Prediction: EO coming out around April 10th saying they don't have to pay the money back.

Posted by: Mr. Moo Moo at January 02, 2015 01:35 PM (0LHZx)

I don't think so. Why should he care about the little people and their suffering anymore.

Posted by: RWC - Nobody Bodda Me at January 02, 2015 01:37 PM (fWAjv)

329 Huh. I thought LV was pretty much founded by East Coast mob guys.




Posted by: Little Timmy at January 02, 2015 01:28 PM (D75QO)





Yeah, I heard it by a guy named Moe Greene

Posted by: TheQuietMan at January 02, 2015 01:38 PM (1Jaio)

330 Cuomo, Reid...

They come in 3's.

Posted by: artisanal 'ette at January 02, 2015 01:38 PM (IXrOn)

331 what was his amyl nitrate level?

Posted by: avi at January 02, 2015 01:38 PM (viqX2)

332
You messa wit me, I breaky you face.

Posted by: 10 year old Italian boy in Searchlight, NV at January 02, 2015 01:38 PM (Qs8ZN)

333 I guess one bad turn deserves another but I can't bring myself to make fun of Reid's injury when I condemned the Left for going after Bush when he had his bike accident. Inconsistency is a pet peeve of mine I try to avoid.

Posted by: Bob Belcher at January 02, 2015 01:34 PM (3jmxp)


I keep a mental file of the most vicious things the left has said about Bush and, especially, Palin. I use them whenever some lefty gives me crap about mocking some poor Democrat's pain or suffering. It never shuts them up, but they go nuclear when you use their own words against them.

Posted by: Bugsy Siegel at January 02, 2015 01:39 PM (zF6Iw)

334 It was terrible!!! The smell in the room was a combination of Brylcreem, Bengay, and ass!!! He also yelled something about the Koch Brothers when he got REALLY excited!!!

Posted by: Little Timmy at January 02, 2015 01:39 PM (Am9Tn)

335
>>>And Mormon bankers who processed everything and took a cut.


Oh, yeah, I forgot about those Five Mormon Bankers.

Posted by: Black Debbie from Sealab at January 02, 2015 01:39 PM (XMDuf)

336 Cuomo, Reid...



They come in 3's.

Posted by: artisanal 'ette at January 02, 2015 01:38 PM (IXrOn)


'Cept Reid's not dead.

*forces self not to add "unfortunately"*

Posted by: MWR, Proud Tea(rrorist) Party Assault Hobbit & Vaginassassin, aka Beth at January 02, 2015 01:39 PM (4df7R)

337
Cuomo...

almost Reid (soon...)

Buffet?
Soros?


Posted by: All 2014 Soothsayers Must Go Clearance Sale! at January 02, 2015 01:39 PM (haxo2)

338 So, either someone with a good right haymaker has tagged him twice in three years under that left eye, or somebody's collection enforcer has been working him over.

Either that, or he forgot his safeword again. "Palomino!"

Posted by: Keith Arnold at January 02, 2015 01:39 PM (iIzG7)

339 Posted by: Bob Belcher at January 02, 2015 01:34 PM (3jmxp)

I don't like making fun of others' physical misfortunes either, even loathsome creeps like Reid, but I think a lot of us are not buying the explanation for the injuries.

Posted by: chique d'afrique (the artist formerly known as african chick) at January 02, 2015 01:39 PM (oa/c7)

340 Whoops, off criminal sock.

Posted by: Mary Poppins' Practically Perfect Piercing at January 02, 2015 01:40 PM (zF6Iw)

341 Who would think a 10 year old would have a dick big enough to knock me over?



I think I am in love.

Posted by: Harry Reid, Pederast at January 02, 2015 01:40 PM (0FSuD)

342 o/t -

It appears that a Russian spy ring was just busted at a NATO airbase in Lithuania.

Posted by: junior at January 02, 2015 01:40 PM (UWFpX)

343 Cuomo...



almost Reid (soon...)



Buffet?

Soros?







Posted by: All 2014 Soothsayers Must Go Clearance Sale! at January 02, 2015 01:39 PM (haxo2)


Cankles?

Posted by: MWR, Proud Tea(rrorist) Party Assault Hobbit & Vaginassassin, aka Beth at January 02, 2015 01:40 PM (4df7R)

344 I want to say that it's PJ O'Rourke who said what's great about America is that someone will look at a desert wasteland and go hey! I'm going to build a casino there and make a ton of money!

-
Kids today don't understand that kind of vision. They don't know that their ancestors packed all their hopes and dreams and came to a new land with their Tommy guns and they built Las Vegas.

Posted by: The Great White Snark at January 02, 2015 01:40 PM (LImiJ)

345 Cuomo...

almost Reid (soon...)

Buffet?
Soros?

Posted by: All 2014 Soothsayers Must Go Clearance Sale! at January 02, 2015 01:39 PM (haxo2)


The Peanut Farmer.

Posted by: V and R Exercise Equipment Installation at January 02, 2015 01:41 PM (cL79m)

346 I love making fun of others physical misfortunes when they are lying, POS, country ruiners.

LOVE IT.

Posted by: Seems Legit at January 02, 2015 01:41 PM (A98Xu)

347 It appears that a Russian spy ring was just busted at a NATO airbase in Lithuania.
Posted by: junior at January 02, 2015 01:40 PM (UWFpX)

Holy crap. Western intel actually caught someone?

Were they wearing their "Russian Spy" t-shirts or something?

Posted by: Secundus at January 02, 2015 01:41 PM (t9hL9)

348 harry reid lives in a gated community, a country club in henderson called the anthem country club


i still say car accident

Posted by: ThunderB at January 02, 2015 01:42 PM (zOTsN)

349 Nood, but this one is too good until I read every comment!

Posted by: Carol at January 02, 2015 01:42 PM (sj3Ax)

350 Down goes Reid! Down goes Reid! Down goes Reid!!!

Posted by: Weasel at January 02, 2015 01:42 PM (e3bId)

351 337


Cuomo...



almost Reid (soon...)



Buffet?

Soros?



Henry Prince Of The Gorged Tick People Kissinger?


Posted by: Thin veneer of civility at January 02, 2015 01:42 PM (XzRw1)

352 Cankles?

Lord, could you imagine? The DNC would be falling all over themselves to get Chelsea to run "to continue her mother's trailblazing work."

Posted by: Mary Poppins' Practically Perfect Piercing at January 02, 2015 01:43 PM (zF6Iw)

353 This hospital as some cute Candy Stripers, wish they were boys.

Posted by: Harry Reid, Pederast at January 02, 2015 01:43 PM (0FSuD)

354 I don't like making fun of others' physical misfortunes either, even loathsome creeps like Reid, but I think a lot of us are not buying the explanation for the injuries.
Posted by: chique d'afrique

I sometimes think you're to nice a person to associate with the likes of us.

Posted by: The Great White Snark at January 02, 2015 01:43 PM (LImiJ)

355 Were they wearing their "Russian Spy" t-shirts or something?

A NYC street vendor fingered them?

Posted by: Thin veneer of civility at January 02, 2015 01:43 PM (XzRw1)

356 Cankles?

Posted by: MWR, Proud Tea(rrorist) Party Assault Hobbit Vaginassassin, aka Beth at January 02, 2015 01:40 PM (4df7R)


She's just like Cuomo - a never-will-be-nominee. Unless a Rat somehow becomes VP, said Rat has at most 4 years between becoming prominent and becoming the Presidential nominee.

Posted by: steveegg at January 02, 2015 01:44 PM (cL79m)

357 The regular dominatrix was out sick. The substitute wasnt familiar with the safe word.

Posted by: CatO9Tails at January 02, 2015 01:44 PM (Dql1m)

358
I love making fun of others physical misfortunes when they are lying, POS, country ruiners.

LOVE IT.

Posted by: Seems Legit at January 02, 2015 01:41 PM (A98Xu)






If you don't have anything nice to say about someone......come sit by me.

Posted by: Zombie Dorothy Parker at January 02, 2015 01:44 PM (TIIx5)

359 Injured while writing Cowboy poetry ?

Signed Carlos " Iceman" Danger

Posted by: Drpullit at January 02, 2015 01:44 PM (FBeqI)

360 Always make sure your electrolyte levels are up to par or else you could pass out unexpectedly while bending over too quickly to help an 8 year old boy pick up his Legos..... and his clothing.

Posted by: Sen. Harry Reid at January 02, 2015 01:45 PM (t72+4)

361 Busted ribs and facial bones does nothing, other than imply there was a barstool between him and the floor on his way down.

Posted by: Keith Arnold at January 02, 2015 01:45 PM (iIzG7)

362 @347 Holy crap. Western intel actually caught someone?

Were they wearing their "Russian Spy" t-shirts or something?
---------------------

Apparently, Military Intelligence got suspicious when "I heart Anna Chapman" posters started going up all over the base.

Posted by: junior at January 02, 2015 01:46 PM (UWFpX)

363 Now I could be consistent in making fun of Hillary and her fall because the cause of her fall was a lie and she used it to get out of testifying.

Posted by: Bob Belcher at January 02, 2015 01:48 PM (3jmxp)

364 Given that SNL mocked Romney in 2012 by having him do something that Biden did in real life in 2008...

I'd say that we'll shortly see a skit in which Mitch McConnell gets fall-down drunk, and tries to blame it on exercise equipment.


Brilliant! I'll get right on it.

Posted by: Lorne Michaels at January 02, 2015 01:48 PM (D75QO)

365 CUT , MICK ! I GOTTA GET BACK OUT ON THAT PLAYGROUND !

Posted by: Sen. Harry Reid at January 02, 2015 01:49 PM (t72+4)

366 Gerald Ford was a first class athlete who could have kicked Chevy Chase's pasty white butt.

I remember one time he went on a skiing vacation.

The accompanying article quoted a ski instructor, who referred to Ford as "the best skier over 60 [he] had ever seen".

So what photo gets run with the article?

The one of Ford falling, of course.


Posted by: OregonMuse at January 02, 2015 01:53 PM (D75QO)

367 Between Cuomo and now this, 2015 is off to an outstanding start

Posted by: Trump at January 02, 2015 01:53 PM (mctSY)

368 It was just an accident, youse guys.

Lotsa folks woik out with steel pipes.

Posted by: jimmy the weasel at January 02, 2015 01:59 PM (9ty8a)

369 It is against God's law to bear false witness against another so I can only say this about Senator Reid:


To the best of my knowledge Senator Reid's most recent injuries did not come from attempting to rape a teenage runaway boy who fought back and hit the Senator in the face with the 14" dildo Senator Reid was holding at the time - knocking the Senator backwards into the bondage rack - causing him to lose his balance and slip on the ball gag on the floor and fall onto the metal Ben Dover rack causing his broken ribs.

There is no way that happened.

Posted by: An Observation at January 02, 2015 02:01 PM (ylhEn)

370 ESTO = equipment smarter than operator. In this case, it's the most likely scenario.

Posted by: hadoop at January 02, 2015 02:01 PM (2X7pN)

371 Were they wearing their "Russian Spy" t-shirts or something?

Nope, just ugly. The pretty ones always get away with it.

Posted by: hadoop at January 02, 2015 02:03 PM (2X7pN)

372 >>I'll charitably say that he's lying about the equipment failure.
Posted by: steveegg

And he hasn't even begun to explain how the kettle bell ended up his ass.

Posted by: Aviator at January 02, 2015 02:05 PM (3rrMW)

373 Drunken fool got hurt beating on his Obama blow up.

Posted by: Pat at January 02, 2015 02:06 PM (AivPA)

374 He loves wearing the magical underwear. Little Johnny likes the look
Posted by: Nip Sip at January 02, 2015 01:07 PM (0FSuD)

Come on now, there are Mormon's on this board who approve of the mocking of Reid, but don't appreciate the digs at their religion.

Posted by: Scully Wog at January 02, 2015 02:10 PM (CV0/i)

375 Broke his face but saved the bottle of Jack Daniels..

Posted by: Buffalobob at January 02, 2015 02:13 PM (w+5ie)

376 Setting up his too injured to testify defense once the calvary arrives, before McDougal and Boner cancel all investigatin..

Posted by: concealedkerry or submitt at January 02, 2015 02:13 PM (vXqv3)

377 I saw Broken Exercise Band open for the Village People in 1989.

Posted by: Reggie L at January 02, 2015 02:14 PM (KKP6T)

378 One Full Proof way to figure out his Story is Bull.

If this ultra liberal does not sue the equipment manufacturer, than it will be proof it did not happen on an exercise equipment.

Posted by: JoeNYC at January 02, 2015 02:15 PM (kf+qe)

379 That will teach the old fool to ride bareback....
giddy up barrack!

Posted by: concealedkerry or submitt at January 02, 2015 02:16 PM (vXqv3)

380 I don't care for the politics of Harry Reid, but, yes could we please stay away from the "magic underwear" comments?. That sounds like something a leftist would say. Conservatives of various denominations are on the same "team" here. Let's not attack each others traditions. Besides, the is a theology behind the use of special undergarments:

http://tinyurl.com/ct5u8tu

Posted by: FenelonSpoke at January 02, 2015 02:21 PM (Dj3AB)

381 A bag of oranges would do that too.

Posted by: Niedermeyer's Dead Horse at January 02, 2015 02:50 PM (ZrDPU)

382 "Rumors of my dominatrix hooker are mostly exaggerated."

Posted by: me at January 02, 2015 03:15 PM (SC+jr)

383 87 Yes, I can think of how one would not break an arm or wrist when falling: By stroking out and face planting.

You don't extend your arms to break a fall when you're unconscious.
Posted by: Kirk at January 02, 2015 12:57 PM (GBnWt)

A seizure or a stroke is my thought on this. Especially if he is still in the hospital as lots is tests are being run to determine the blackout.

One test is prob his BAC

Posted by: Sunny at January 02, 2015 03:30 PM (Xnxty)

384 Was he giving Debbie Wassermann Schulz a mustache ride?
Seems to fit the nature of the injuries.

Posted by: kraki at January 02, 2015 03:32 PM (krvsp)

385 347: Were they wearing their "Russian Spy" t-shirts or something?

No, they were deep cover. Their tee shirts said "I'm Not Putin You On."

Posted by: Ray Van Dune at January 02, 2015 03:35 PM (LIyA2)

386 Remember the movie Casino? Wasn't the senator scumbag in the movie supposed to be based on Reid? I bet a prostitute in a hotel room got ticked off at him because he did all of her coke.

Posted by: Mistress NOpe at January 02, 2015 03:46 PM (2/oBD)

387 It's never pretty when Guido comes to visit and "talk".

Posted by: Comanche Voter at January 02, 2015 03:53 PM (wdHk6)

388 Couldna happened to a nicer guy.

Was as drunk as a fiddler's bitch, I bet.

Posted by: Beverly Cooper at January 02, 2015 04:04 PM (UF00q)

389 So, let me get this straight: making snarky comments about an event in the Palin houselhold is vile left-wing propaganda, but making snarky comments about an event in the Reid household is fine..

Posted by: JEA at January 02, 2015 04:21 PM (hpPAv)

390 I don't know one Mormon who doesn't absolutely despise Harry Reid and hold him in utter contempt. The LDS Church would have more credibility if they excommunicated that jerk.

Posted by: mac at January 02, 2015 04:28 PM (G8U2M)

391 389, Are you saying that dog was drunk?

Posted by: Pat at January 02, 2015 05:09 PM (AivPA)

392 392nd!

Face it. Reid's an old queen who's into SM.

Posted by: ahem at January 02, 2015 05:19 PM (lKGzI)

393 Looks like he's been cold-Koch'd.

Posted by: someguy at January 02, 2015 05:22 PM (3z91g)

394 He was injured by a shake-weight slipping out of his hands and hitting him in the face.


A 14 year old ward of the state shake-weight.

Posted by: Mr. Feverhead at January 02, 2015 05:48 PM (i0vkQ)

395 389 So, let me get this straight: making snarky comments about an event in the Palin houselhold is vile left-wing propaganda, but making snarky comments about an event in the Reid household is fine..

Posted by: JEA at January 02, 2015 04:21 PM (hpPAv)

So, you're saying that conservatives criticize Democrats and liberals criticize Republicans and each side is more offended when the other side criticizes them and the politicians they support?!? Wow, what a "persuasive" point. Yet, you seem to be implying that only conservatives are hypocrites, right? I don't think it's much of a "gotcha" moment when you're not even acknowledging that both sides do it.

Also, for the record, one of the two you mentioned is the Majority Leader of the U.S. Senate, with significant power over the country's citizens (e.g., do you remember how ObamaCare passed?), while the other is a former Governor and VP candidate with zero power over the country's citizens. So, when the former has something happen to him physically that may indicate something more disconcerting about his ability to serve in his prominent role in the U.S. Senate, it's eminently more relevant than the latter's disabled child standing on a pet dog.

In addition, perhaps Republicans would leave Reid alone, like they do in regards to various Democrats in the Senate who don't try to interject themselves into political debates, if Reid wasn't so hateful, such as lying and making up claims about Romney's tax returns and calling Bush a "loser," the latter of which is very unbecoming for a U.S. Senator (and involves the use of projection), don't you think? I won't even point out the reaction by the Left when Bush has accidents in which he fell down and suffered minor injuries (i.e., "pretzel" incident, "biking" accident). Perhaps you should go lecture the Left about their behavior in regards to those Bush accidents.

Posted by: Slappy at January 02, 2015 06:29 PM (Am9Tn)

396 That's what happens when caught peeking into Moochelle's bathroom key hole.

Posted by: JeffersonOh at January 02, 2015 07:33 PM (ZOfEI)

397 he didnt fall far enough!!

Posted by: skoot at January 02, 2015 07:48 PM (g0zrq)

398 First rule in Nevada, don't feel up an Italian-American child, they might be connected.
Second rule, tell everyone it was an accident.

Posted by: ubik at January 02, 2015 10:54 PM (lCc6O)

399 Looks like newglasses (his old,spare ones) to me.

Posted by: MoJoTee at January 03, 2015 12:09 AM (E3ArJ)

400 I figured it out: He's an alcoholic.

Posted by: ahem at January 03, 2015 10:23 AM (lKGzI)

401 How many black eyes would a woman have to get before someone figured out someone was beating the crap out of her? Not that many. She could only walk into a door just so many times before friends would be doing an intervention. Exercise equipment indeed? We should expect to see a hefty law suit against it's maker. Something tells me that will not occur.

Posted by: JMc at January 03, 2015 06:36 PM (19ryl)

402 Next time Harry needs a good a$$ whippin' ...................

Posted by: JMc at January 03, 2015 06:38 PM (19ryl)

403 Escort girls http://REGMODELS.RU

Posted by: Tina at January 03, 2015 06:56 PM (rKEiy)

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