Support




Contact
Ace:
aceofspadeshq at gee mail.com
CBD:
cbd.aoshq at gee mail.com
Buck:
buck.throckmorton at protonmail.com
joe mannix:
mannix2024 at proton.me
MisHum:
petmorons at gee mail.com
J.J. Sefton:
sefton at cutjibnewsletter.com
Powered by
Movable Type





Michele Obama: Someone Asked Me to Reach Something for Them at Target So That Was Racism

Or, as some are noting, just asking a tall woman to reach something on a high shelf.

This is an odd thing. I actually live in fear of asking someone for help at Target who doesn't work at Target. I have a phobia about asking someone where the vitamins are, only to have him turn angrily on me and announce, "Just because I'm wearing a jazzy red polo shirt and loose-fit khakis, does that mean you own me??!"

So I kind of don't ask people, unless I see someone else asking them. Or I see them stocking stuff.

But you can get into trouble that way, too. Because if you ask the guy stocking the Coke where the bacon is, he might go, "I don't work here, I work for the Coca-Cola distributing company. And go fuck yourself for that insult, Sirrah!"

Social horror.

Anyway, not making this up, I really do have a phobia about this.

On the other hand, I ask people for help who I know don't work at the store.

It's a weird thing. I get panicky about mistaking someone as store help, but I have little problem asking someone I know does not work for the store for information, just on the theory that hey, we're in this store together, why shouldn't we help each other out?

Have you ever been a male in the spice aisle looking for, I don't know, corriander, and not being able to find it (Yeah I know they're in alphabetical order, but just go with me on this), so you see someone who seems to be knowledgable, and sure, this person just happens to be female, so you ask, "Do you know where the corriander is?"

I always want to say, "I know you don't work here, but that doesn't mean you don't know the basic layout of this super-market you obviously come to twice a week" before asking them, but I don't.

Anyway, the point is, Michele Obama, sometimes people, get this, ask other citizens for help, advice, or information, not thinking they're (horrors!) an employee making only a dollar or two above the minimum wage (aah! the social insult! I shall not live), but just thinking, "This person could help me and I see no good reason why I shouldn't ask her for help."

But Michele Obama goes through life like a china shop in a stockyard, looking to be shattered by hoof-fall.

Posted by: Ace at 06:46 PM




Comments

(Jump to bottom of comments)

1 Fisted!

I mean "first".

Posted by: 'jackie' at December 17, 2014 06:47 PM (Dw98+)

2 How dare anyone tell me to do what servants are for!

OFF WITH THEIR HEADS!

Posted by: Michelle Obama at December 17, 2014 06:48 PM (lN8KC)

3 First of all: bullshit.

Posted by: dogfish at December 17, 2014 06:48 PM (1vYi0)

4 If someone asked Michelle where the Halloween masks were, I could see how that could be a problem.

Posted by: Dr Spank at December 17, 2014 06:49 PM (9sMMW)

5 Second of all: she's offended to help someone.

Posted by: dogfish at December 17, 2014 06:49 PM (1vYi0)

6 The Obama's are what my family would have called 'New Rich.'

It is not a compliment.

Posted by: Jinx the Cat at December 17, 2014 06:49 PM (l3vZN)

7 Let he who has not been mistaken as a store employee cast the first stone ...

This is absurd on so many levels. All of us have at one point been mistaken as a store employee at one time or another.

Posted by: SH at December 17, 2014 06:49 PM (gmeXX)

8 The last time she talked about this incident, she thought it was sweet; just two citizens being nice to each other and stuff.

Posted by: Buck Farky at December 17, 2014 06:49 PM (0wiDy)

9 Her first thought is that she has been slighted in some way. It's telling as hell.

Posted by: dogfish at December 17, 2014 06:50 PM (1vYi0)

10 Would it be acceptable to ask Shemp Smith to get something off the shelf for you?

Posted by: Bertram Cabot Jr. at December 17, 2014 06:50 PM (W5DcG)

11 Pardon me sir, do you have any grey poupon?

Posted by: The guy who mistook Michelle for a tall, british man at December 17, 2014 06:50 PM (zv0fB)

12 The real outrage per Mooch, is one time the JEF was leaving an event in his tux, and was mistaken for a valet.

So RACIIIIISSSST.

Posted by: Jane D'oh at December 17, 2014 06:50 PM (FsuaD)

13 Major inferiority complex.

Posted by: Stephie at December 17, 2014 06:50 PM (TkOOR)

14 Lt Worf is 6'10" tall...the poor customer thought she played Power Forward for the Bulls...

Posted by: Sven S Blade a.k.a. El Assassin@sven10077 at December 17, 2014 06:51 PM (/4AZU)

15 Mooch is the Empress grinding her boot in our face -- yet constantly demands that she's the real victim.

Her college thesis was about how blacks are disrespected at Yale.

At Yale!!

Posted by: Costanza Defense at December 17, 2014 06:51 PM (ZPrif)

16 It's all civility and good manners, all the way down. Having a chip on one's shoulder is not a monopoly held by people of color, Ace. But then, they do seem to be trying to corner the market of late.

Posted by: Kraken at December 17, 2014 06:51 PM (5+mPY)

17 So she wasn't dressed anything at all like a Target employee and had sunglasses on; and when she first told this anecdote the 6 (?) months ago wasn't given as a "we're just ordinary folks and this proves it" meme?

Posted by: andycanuck at December 17, 2014 06:51 PM (Dw98+)

18 Another failed racism meme:
http://tinyurl.com/p3v5l98

Posted by: RobertM at December 17, 2014 06:51 PM (g9tFC)

19 Go ahead knock this chip off. I dare ya.

Posted by: Mooch "Robert Conrad" Teh 1st at December 17, 2014 06:51 PM (1vYi0)

20 THEY'RE IN ALPHABETICAL ORDER? :O

Posted by: Jay at December 17, 2014 06:52 PM (8oCSY)

21 As an LDS missionary, out shopping at the grocery store, I was frequently mistaken for staff. People saw the slacks and the white shirt, and possibly the name tag (which they evidently didn't note beyond the fact that it existed), and apparently thought "store employee!"

Posted by: junior at December 17, 2014 06:52 PM (UWFpX)

22 She's a liar. Like John Boehner.

Posted by: Thin veneer of civility at December 17, 2014 06:52 PM (XzRw1)

23 But Michele Obama goes through life like a china shop in a stockyard, looking to be shattered by hoof-fall.


delete

delete

delete

nevermind

Posted by: Jane D'oh at December 17, 2014 06:53 PM (FsuaD)

24 I actually like how she specifically references that she is the first lady - just a subtle reminder to people.

Posted by: SH at December 17, 2014 06:53 PM (gmeXX)

25 Michelle needs to check her height privilege!

Posted by: LizLem at December 17, 2014 06:53 PM (/4J14)

26 Called this story BS this morning.

So someone gets through Michelle's security cordon and asks her to get something?

She is just trying to act like what she thinks is a normal person.

Posted by: Anna Puma (+SmuD) at December 17, 2014 06:53 PM (UtvsI)

27 One guy asked me where the fishing rods were even though I was wearing a winter coat and a Stetson. He thought I worked in the sporting goods section.

Posted by: Man with the Stetson at December 17, 2014 06:53 PM (zv0fB)

28 "Can you recommend a good back hair shaver?"

Posted by: Cicero (@cicero) at December 17, 2014 06:53 PM (8ZskC)

29 15 Posted by: Costanza Defense at December 17, 2014 06:51 PM (ZPrif)

We can at least read it, imagine how bad Ogabe's must be that it is a closer held state secret than the A-bomb was...

Posted by: Sven S Blade a.k.a. El Assassin@sven10077 at December 17, 2014 06:53 PM (/4AZU)

30 I am sooooo f*cking tired of everything anyone does is teh RACISSSSS! Good God, people! Get a f*cking grip!

Posted by: Old Blue at December 17, 2014 06:53 PM (vVSOO)

31 A better way of saying what I tried to say is that we're just not that damned important. Especially if you're a grifter.

Posted by: Kraken at December 17, 2014 06:53 PM (5+mPY)

32
Well, its really Target's fault for only hiring black people to work there. Otherwise...

Posted by: Guy Mohawk at December 17, 2014 06:53 PM (NtzGn)

33 Sony has cancelled their film about Michelle Obama being asked to help a shopper in Cuba.

Posted by: Bertram Cabot Jr. at December 17, 2014 06:54 PM (W5DcG)

34
Asking a black person to help you reach something on a high shelf is the same thing as saying hey, you must be good at basketball!

Posted by: Soothsayer's Imaginary Home For Incorrigible Boys & Girls at December 17, 2014 06:54 PM (sattt)

35 Her college thesis was about how blacks are disrespected at Yale.

At Yale!!
Posted by: Costanza Defense

I think it was Princeton

Posted by: dogfish at December 17, 2014 06:54 PM (1vYi0)

36 Since I am over this anecdotal imaginary racism already, I'll share that at age 4 or 5 my son was obsessed w/nametags, and when we went to Target he would regularly address them by name. Like, "John, where's the Lego aisle?" It was amusing to see their reaction as a kid (who looked like a toddler) did this.
And amazingly, none of them thought it was racism, this asking from a (tiny) white male...

Posted by: Lizzy at December 17, 2014 06:54 PM (ABcz/)

37 I'm sure her Secret Service detail allowed some poor shorty to just amble up to the Mooch and ask her to reach for something.

A couple of days ago, I asked a tall, black guy to please reach for some seafood cocktail sauce in the back of a top shelf at Kroger.

I had no idea I was being racist.

Posted by: Jane D'oh at December 17, 2014 06:54 PM (FsuaD)

38 Should have been there when Luke wanted to put the handcuffs on...

Posted by: Han Solo at December 17, 2014 06:54 PM (6fyGz)

39 I cannot set foot in a museum without someone asking for directions to the ladies room, or the special exhibit, or the igneous rocks. Actually, at the Field Museum in Chicago, other employees thought I was an employee. That was pretty funny, guess they saw me directing me to the igneous rocks. Never happens anywhere else, though. I guess I have a museum face.

Posted by: Persnickety at December 17, 2014 06:54 PM (Vqay0)

40 How about being a class snob? She was insulted by being mistaken for an employee.

Posted by: daninmichigan at December 17, 2014 06:54 PM (2yD4G)

41 And she change her story. Meaning she lied. Meaning we already knew that. Meaning I hate those fucks with all my heart and soul

Posted by: Nevergiveup at December 17, 2014 06:54 PM (nzKvP)

42 Guess I should be offended, I get asked this shit all the time.

Posted by: traye at December 17, 2014 06:54 PM (W+gNy)

43 Everyone knows that when Target hires black people it doesn't give them uniforms.

Posted by: Cicero (@cicero) at December 17, 2014 06:55 PM (8ZskC)

44 28 "Can you recommend a good back hair shaver?"
Posted by: Cicero (@cicero) at December 17, 2014 06:53 PM (8ZskC)
I just pop in with my big dog, and let His groomer give me a touch-up.

Posted by: Kraken at December 17, 2014 06:55 PM (5+mPY)

45 Can you imagine what it's like to go on vacation with Michelle for 17 days, -- she's sleeping in every morning and ordering room service?

I'd make it a habit of stealing her bacon while she's still rubbing the crust out of her eyes.

Posted by: Fritz at December 17, 2014 06:55 PM (dVmLD)

46 >>"Do you know where the corriander is?"


Worst. Pick-up move. Ever.

Posted by: Dr Spank at December 17, 2014 06:55 PM (9sMMW)

47 I mean, others. not me. I wasn't directing myself; I am lost and directionless. I mean. .

o never mind.

Posted by: Persnickety at December 17, 2014 06:55 PM (Vqay0)

48 38 Posted by: Han Solo at December 17, 2014 06:54 PM (6fyGz)


Punch it Chewie!

BARACK!

//Star Wars outtakes

Posted by: Sven S Blade a.k.a. El Assassin@sven10077 at December 17, 2014 06:56 PM (/4AZU)

49 I really can't tell what she is upset about, but I think it is because that only one person came up to her even though she is the first lady, and it wasn't to adore her as the first lady, but just to get her help, when don't you know it, but she is the first lady.

Posted by: SH at December 17, 2014 06:56 PM (gmeXX)

50 Her college thesis was about how blacks are disrespected at Princeton.



Which is funny in and of itself. Her liberal university made her all butt-hurt.

Posted by: dogfish at December 17, 2014 06:56 PM (1vYi0)

51
obama: "Go to the movies."

Now I'm sure of it. obama had Sony pull the movie. obama didn't even want people to see a comedy about an evil regime he was in the midst of trying to deal with.

Posted by: Soothsayer's Imaginary Home For Incorrigible Boys & Girls at December 17, 2014 06:56 PM (sattt)

52 So when a boyscout helps an old lady with her groceries he automatically is seen as an employee?

Posted by: Swatara at December 17, 2014 06:56 PM (V8aMM)

53 "Hey lady, do you suppose you could pick some cotton balls off that top shelf for me?"


Wait, what?

Posted by: Seamus Muldoon, a solid man at December 17, 2014 06:56 PM (NeFrd)

54
I was raped by an republican elf on a shelf. Don't go up there.

Posted by: Lena Dunham at December 17, 2014 06:56 PM (NtzGn)

55 I actually live in fear of asking someone for help at Target who doesn't work at Target.

I can see how Ewoks might have trouble with anything above the first two shelves.

Posted by: oblig. at December 17, 2014 06:56 PM (BNp5c)

56 So someone gets through Michelle's security cordon and asks her to get something?

Posted by: Anna Puma (+SmuD) at December 17, 2014 06:53 PM (UtvsI)
-------------
I read this as "security condom".

Posted by: All Hail Eris at December 17, 2014 06:56 PM (KH1sk)

57 I've repeated this a couple of times today, but it bears repeating again.

In 2011 at a black tie event, a four-star general was walking by Valerie Jarrett's table, when she stopped him and asked for another glass of wine.

Being the class act he was, he politely obliged. Then sat at the table near her.

She either mistakenly thought he was a waiter (with all those decorations), or knew he was a general, and wanted to make him an example of her dislike (and Barry's and Mooch's) of the military.

I'm going with the latter.

Posted by: Jane D'oh at December 17, 2014 06:57 PM (FsuaD)

58 I know her pain. It reminds me of the time I was at the grove in hollywood, when a woman asked me where a store was. Look lady, just because I'm a clean cut young white guy with a suit and tie on doesn't mean I'm concierge, or trustworthy for that matter.

Posted by: Adam Smith's Invisible Pimp Hand at December 17, 2014 06:57 PM (JjJUC)

59

woo hoo Wookiee woman
see how high she flies
woo hoo Wookiee woman
she got the moon in her eye

Posted by: Bertram Cabot Jr. at December 17, 2014 06:58 PM (W5DcG)

60 Isn't the undertone of her complaint basically "I'm the First Lady and so obviously above the serfs that to treat me like a normal person and ask for menial help is an insult?" That is to say, when she's not pretending to be regular folk like you and me in proximity to election years.

Posted by: Alec Leamas at December 17, 2014 06:58 PM (lh89W)

61
I have another sub-theory as to why obama had Sony pull the movie:

obama didn't want to people to see any similarities whatsoever between himself and Kim Un -- especially the parts about how he is supposedly adored by All.

Posted by: Soothsayer's Imaginary Home For Incorrigible Boys & Girls at December 17, 2014 06:58 PM (sattt)

62 "Hey lady, do you suppose you could pick some cotton balls off that top shelf for me?"


Wait, what?
Posted by: Seamus Muldoon, a solid man


Jeez, that is the best laugh I've had all week. Thanks for brightening the day!

Posted by: Jinx the Cat at December 17, 2014 06:58 PM (l3vZN)

63 >>> Michelle needs to check her height privilege!

Bingo!

I have been asked for assistance when I was clearly shopping. Some nice lady of a certain age asked me to get something of the top shelf, because I was markedly taller (and stronger) than she.

FLOTUS is fairly tall. That is what it amounts to.

Posted by: fluffy at December 17, 2014 06:58 PM (Ua6T/)

64 Nice our school district in Columbia is sending out an influenza warning....

*nice*

Newer better Americans

Posted by: Sven S Blade a.k.a. El Assassin@sven10077 at December 17, 2014 06:58 PM (/4AZU)

65 >>Can you imagine what it's like to go on vacation with Michelle for 17
days, -- she's sleeping in every morning and ordering room service?

IIRC, the hotel staff from Michelle's big China trip said she and her mother were real pills.

Posted by: Lizzy at December 17, 2014 06:58 PM (ABcz/)

66 46 >>"Do you know where the corriander is?"


Worst. Pick-up move. Ever.)))

Maybe not as bad as " do you know wher the Chloroform is?"

Posted by: Swatara at December 17, 2014 06:58 PM (V8aMM)

67 You can tell the really good waiters by the number of combat ribbons on their jacket.

Posted by: Cicero (@cicero) at December 17, 2014 06:58 PM (8ZskC)

68 But Michele Obama goes through life like a china shop in a stockyard, looking to be shattered by hoof-fall.

You've been saving that one up, admit it.

Posted by: pep at December 17, 2014 06:59 PM (4nR9/)

69 But..., did they give her the key to their car?

Posted by: Mike Hammer, etc., etc. at December 17, 2014 06:59 PM (kgisg)

70 I would never even approach Mooch, let alone ask her for, well, anything. My phobia is getting my head chewed off and eaten, after the initial unpleasantness.

Posted by: Kraken at December 17, 2014 06:59 PM (5+mPY)

71 She also tells people, "I think people forget we've lived in the White House for six years."

A. No one forgets that. Trust us, we know. It actually feels longer.

B. She says that only to remind us that she and Barack live in the White House - for six years - we are pretty important.

Posted by: SH at December 17, 2014 06:59 PM (gmeXX)

72 Finally! A topic on which I have The Absolutest Of All Moral Authority Ever Suck It Bitches Mwahahahahaha.


I still do not comprehend how asking someone to get something off a shelf can possibly be racist.

Look. Let's just cut to the chase. The Horde will be shocked, shocked to discover that I am not particularly fond of asking for help. However. People in stores are constantly *volunteering* to get stuff off the high shelves (by which I mean anything over the second shelf) for me, what with feeling pity after watching me hop up and down trying to get stuff.

I'm not exaggerating about this. There I will be, attempting to get something down, and I will hear "Do you want me to get that for you?" Male. Female. Young. Old. People of every color and creed have gotten stuff off of high shelves for me.

Honestly, I've spent the whole day going wait, what, how is that racist? How? I don't get it.

It's basic freaking common human decency and huh. Huh. I just now suddenly understand why the hell Michelle Obama doesn't get it.

Posted by: alexthechick - Come to us SMOD at December 17, 2014 07:00 PM (IrByp)

73 Helping a fellow shopper get something off the top shelf? How mighty white of her.

Posted by: Detective Harry Callahan at December 17, 2014 07:00 PM (JO9+V)

74 I suppose the Royal Navy was just being racist by having the ship's turret pointed fore and aft in line with her hotel room.

Posted by: Jinx the Cat at December 17, 2014 07:00 PM (l3vZN)

75 Yeah Ace, sometimes I ask a woman for help in the grocery store playing my ignorant guy role, because some women know more stuff than I do about cooking.

Posted by: sawhorse at December 17, 2014 07:00 PM (jm3+c)

76 Grow up Ace.

I mean literally, GROW UP so you'll be normal size and you won't have to ask me anymore to put your crap in the overhead compartment on a plane.

Sheesh.

Posted by: John P. Squibob at December 17, 2014 07:01 PM (aKNoC)

77 But if you don't ask an employee to help you, that's racism, too.

Posted by: t-bird at December 17, 2014 07:01 PM (FcR7P)

78 You can tell the really good waiters by the number of combat ribbons on their jacket.
Posted by: Cicero
---------------------------

ISWYDT

Posted by: Mike Hammer, etc., etc. at December 17, 2014 07:01 PM (kgisg)

79 This is the culture we have created -- where there is currency in being offended and victimized.

So much currency in fact, that you have to find it wherever you can, and make it up if there is none.

Posted by: Gentlemen, This is democracy manifest at December 17, 2014 07:01 PM (LWu6U)

80 Imagine the JEF actually trying to work as a valet.

It's raining, he can't operate an umbrella, and fails at parallel parking.

Posted by: Jane D'oh at December 17, 2014 07:01 PM (FsuaD)

81 I once ask Kate Upton if she could get something off the bottom shelf for me.




(Of course I was still sleeping.)

Posted by: dogfish at December 17, 2014 07:01 PM (1vYi0)

82 Bloody peasants

Posted by: f'd at December 17, 2014 07:01 PM (JdEZJ)

83 I wonder if any of this story is true?

Posted by: Skandia Recluse at December 17, 2014 07:01 PM (X4b03)

84 It's basic freaking common human decency and huh. Huh. I just now suddenly understand why the hell Michelle Obama doesn't get it.

Posted by: alexthechick - Come to us SMOD at December 17, 2014 07:00 PM (IrByp)


Does the phrase "bitch on wheels" mean anything to you?

Posted by: Berserker-Dragonheads Division at December 17, 2014 07:01 PM (FMbng)

85 ...

Posted by: the Marine who is asked/forced to stand in the rain while holding SCOAMF's umbrella at December 17, 2014 07:02 PM (qfd4W)

86 The MSM isn't trying to track down this racist shopper and ruin their lives? Funny that.

Posted by: Thin veneer of civility at December 17, 2014 07:02 PM (XzRw1)

87 Of course, it's just fine for Barry to order a couple of Marines in dress blues to hold umbrellas over Himself and his guest, disobeying the Uniform Code of Conduct.

Posted by: Jane D'oh at December 17, 2014 07:02 PM (FsuaD)

88 I get panicky about mistaking someone as store help,

No. Whatever it is, no. Snowflake.

Posted by: Prof. Raney at December 17, 2014 07:02 PM (FcR7P)

89 Have you ever been a male in the spice aisle looking for, I don't know, corriander, and not being able to find it



Only when I have too much thyme on my hands.

Posted by: rickb223 at December 17, 2014 07:02 PM (XAGDQ)

90
Axel, can you reach the Debit/Credit card swiping machine?


Posted by: Soothsayer's Imaginary Home For Incorrigible Boys & Girls at December 17, 2014 07:02 PM (sattt)

91 "Have you ever been a male in the spice aisle looking for coriander"?



Uh, male? No.

Posted by: Cyrus Pants at December 17, 2014 07:03 PM (scDPS)

92 Do you know where the corriander is?"

Worst. Pick-up move. Ever.



I can think of one that's worse.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p9ZjOCSLYlc

Posted by: Otter at December 17, 2014 07:03 PM (4nR9/)

93 It's basic freaking common human decency and huh. Huh. I just now suddenly understand why the hell Michelle Obama doesn't get it.
Posted by: alexthechick
-------------------

* ponders stepladder that folds down to purse size *

Posted by: Mike Hammer, etc., etc. at December 17, 2014 07:03 PM (kgisg)

94 Passing through the lobby of the hospital the other day I saw a man looking at the directory. I stopped and asked him if he was finding what he needed. He smiled pleasantly and said, "No thanks, I'm just waiting for my wife." I nodded and went on about my business. This is how normal people interact. I didn't think he was weak or incompetent, he didn't think I was overbearing and privileged.


Oh, he was black.

Posted by: Seamus Muldoon, a solid man at December 17, 2014 07:03 PM (NeFrd)

95 Imagine the JEF actually trying to work as a valet.

It's raining, he can't operate an umbrella, and fails at parallel parking.


And then, "just throw me the keys..."

Posted by: t-bird at December 17, 2014 07:03 PM (FcR7P)

96 When you are a racist, everything is racial.

Posted by: Mike Hammer, etc., etc. at December 17, 2014 07:03 PM (kgisg)

97 So, I shouldn't ask her to take the wheel of the Millennium Falcon while I run the laser cannon?

Posted by: Brave Sir Robin at December 17, 2014 07:04 PM (5buP8)

98 Her complaint is that she is the first lady, she should be adored wherever she goes, even if she feigns trying to disguise herself.

Posted by: SH at December 17, 2014 07:04 PM (gmeXX)

99 79
This is the culture we have created -- where there is currency in being offended and victimized.

So much currency in fact, that you have to find it wherever you can, and make it up if there is none.


Posted by: Gentlemen, This is democracy manifest at December 17, 2014 07:01 PM (LWu6U)
--------^^^^^^^^^ This!

Posted by: Old Blue at December 17, 2014 07:04 PM (vVSOO)

100 The Secret Service just lets people wander up to her and ask stuff? And the people don't even notice the crowd of husky men in mirrored sunglasses with earpieces?

My white ass they do.

And I've had people ask me for help. They don't assume I work there, they just know I can reach a higher shelf than they can.

This is a bullshit story.

Posted by: --- at December 17, 2014 07:04 PM (MMC8r)

101 Does the phrase "bitch on wheels" mean anything to you?

Angry black woman scare me. Especially when the finger(s) start pointing towards the ground and going back and forth.

Posted by: Thin veneer of civility at December 17, 2014 07:04 PM (XzRw1)

102 Randy Newman was right all along.

Posted by: BackwardsBoy, Curmudgeon Extraordinaire at December 17, 2014 07:04 PM (0HooB)

103 Is it possible Michelle was just telling a boring and pointless story and People misunderstood and added the "racism" frame?

Posted by: DF at December 17, 2014 07:04 PM (ItYIR)

104
* ponders stepladder that folds down to purse size * )))

GoGo Gadget Stompy Boots?

Posted by: Swatara at December 17, 2014 07:04 PM (V8aMM)

105 Maybe not as bad as " do you know wher the Chloroform is?"

Posted by: Swatara


I always ask chicks where the Magnum Condoms are, sure their disappointed but they selodom put their clothes back on.

Posted by: Dr Spank at December 17, 2014 07:04 PM (9sMMW)

106
I just go over to the sports dept, grab a hockey stick and knock off whatever highly placed item they put up there.

Posted by: Guy Mohawk at December 17, 2014 07:05 PM (NtzGn)

107 It's raining, he can't operate an umbrella, and fails at parallel parking.
----------------

Manual transmission..., blank stare.

Posted by: Mike Hammer, etc., etc. at December 17, 2014 07:05 PM (kgisg)

108 Oh, he was black.

Posted by: Seamus Muldoon, a solid man at December 17, 2014 07:03 PM (NeFrd)



It wasn't Bill Cosby, was it?

Posted by: Cicero (@cicero) at December 17, 2014 07:05 PM (8ZskC)

109
When staying at hotels/motels, can you see through the peepholes in the door? -- they're usually placed at about 5'.

Posted by: Soothsayer's Imaginary Home For Incorrigible Boys & Girls at December 17, 2014 07:05 PM (sattt)

110 Ace


If you really worry about people reacting that badly to innocent requests for help, assuming that you have some experience with these bad reactions, it might be time for you to get out of New York. Armies have long known that people have limits and if you keep them under stress for too long they just break. I would personally recommend that you move to Houston or Fort Worth but there are probably some snow ravaged Yankee cities that have the amenities you like and yet are not a constant assault on your sanity.

Posted by: Obnoxious A-Hole at December 17, 2014 07:05 PM (PD6iL)

111 hey first lady!...didn't you famously say?..."barack's gonna make you work harder!"


well that includes you too.

Posted by: north and judd at December 17, 2014 07:05 PM (ZMxIT)

112 Barack's mythical son also appears in that People article.

Posted by: SH at December 17, 2014 07:05 PM (gmeXX)

113 I'm not exaggerating about this. There I will
be, attempting to get something down, and I will hear "Do you want me to
get that for you?" Male. Female. Young. Old. People of every color
and creed have gotten stuff off of high shelves for me.
Posted by: alexthechick - Come to us SMOD at December 17, 2014 07:00 PM
(IrByp)



You know, if I hadn't found out today how racist this is, I'd have just assumed all these peeps were hitting on you.

Posted by: mugiwara at December 17, 2014 07:05 PM (3a584)

114 >> It's basic freaking common human decency...

Which should have been outlawed by now. This is the role of government. where are the laws requiring equal access to all people, regardless if stature? Are there no camps for these shopkeepers?

Helping people reach detergent on high shelves is something we should be doing together. How can we rely on ourselves or each other without gov. oversight?

Posted by: Gentlemen, This is democracy manifest at December 17, 2014 07:06 PM (LWu6U)

115 This is a bullshit story.





Yep

Posted by: f'd at December 17, 2014 07:06 PM (JdEZJ)

116
In handicap-accessible rooms, they install a second peephole at wheelchair/midget height.

Posted by: Soothsayer's Imaginary Home For Incorrigible Boys & Girls at December 17, 2014 07:06 PM (sattt)

117 Only when I have too much thyme on my hands.

*** golf clap ***

Posted by: fluffy at December 17, 2014 07:06 PM (Ua6T/)

118 Does the phrase "bitch on wheels" mean anything to you?
Posted by: Berserker-Dragonheads Division at December 17, 2014 07:01 PM (FMbng)



Why, no. No one has ever said anything like that to me before, why do you ask?

Posted by: alexthechick - Come to us SMOD at December 17, 2014 07:06 PM (IrByp)

119 Does the phrase "bitch on wheels" mean anything to you?
Posted by: Berserker-Dragonheads Division at December 17, 2014 07:01 PM (FMbng)



Why, no. No one has ever said anything like that to me before, why do you ask?

Posted by: alexthechick - Come to us SMOD at December 17, 2014 07:06 PM (IrByp)

120 >>The Secret Service just lets people wander up to her and ask stuff? And
the people don't even notice the crowd of husky men in mirrored
sunglasses with earpieces?


This was the Target in Alexandria, VA. I shopped there when I lived in VA. There is no way people didn't know who she was. Impossible, when so many of the people in N VA are in some way employed by the govt or a related industry.

Posted by: Lizzy at December 17, 2014 07:06 PM (ABcz/)

121
8 The last time she talked about this incident, she thought it was sweet; just two citizens being nice to each other and stuff.
Posted by: Buck Farky at December 17, 2014 06:49 PM (0wiDy)



Do you have a link for that. It would be just a great comparison of her views and how she is nothing but a female race baiting Jesse Jackson.

Posted by: Buzzion at December 17, 2014 07:06 PM (z/Ubi)

122 Have you ever been a male in the spice aisle looking for, I don't know, corriander, and not being able to find it



Only when I have too much thyme on my hands.


I hate it when that happens,especially at the Indian grocery. After awhile, I start to smell, especially my nether regions. Then someone asks "where's the asafoetida".

Posted by: pep at December 17, 2014 07:06 PM (4nR9/)

123
Only when I have too much thyme on my hands.

Posted by: rickb223 at December 17, 2014 07:02 PM (XAGDQ)


****

Now that's some sage advice.

Posted by: Seamus Muldoon, a solid man at December 17, 2014 07:06 PM (NeFrd)

124 I'm 6'4". People ask me to reach for stuff at stores ALL THE FUCKING TIME. Get over it already.

Posted by: Timon at December 17, 2014 07:06 PM (1aUjs)

125
The shocking part of the story would be that she actually helped anyone. That's what the headline out of this should be.

Posted by: Guy Mohawk at December 17, 2014 07:06 PM (NtzGn)

126 Called this story BS this morning.

So someone gets through Michelle's security cordon and asks her to get something?

She is just trying to act like what she thinks is a normal person.


Posted by: Anna Puma (+SmuD) at December 17, 2014 06:53 PM (UtvsI)


When was Mooch last in a Target, anyway? Targets are for the little people.

Posted by: Alberta Oil Peon at December 17, 2014 07:06 PM (8Fl6F)

127 46 >>"Do you know where the corriander is?"

--------------
Worst. Pick-up move. Ever.



Trying to make pancakes. Do you know where the pancake mix is?

Posted by: Hapless Moron at December 17, 2014 07:07 PM (0NdlF)

128 So that was you that asked me Ace? So you're a midget? Huh. Go figure. Next time can I just lift you up to get your box of Kaboom...because racism. oh, and rape.

Posted by: Viv Savage at December 17, 2014 07:07 PM (HRo7B)

129 Posted by: DF at December 17, 2014 07:04 PM


That was the point of her story. Her and her husband's mistreatment because they are black. So, no, to answer your question.

Posted by: dogfish at December 17, 2014 07:07 PM (1vYi0)

130 A tall woman took offense for being asked to help reach for something, and that was "being a bitch".

Posted by: Roy at December 17, 2014 07:07 PM (tiOTz)

131 Thank God no one asked her where the brown sugar was.

Posted by: Count de Monet at December 17, 2014 07:07 PM (JO9+V)

132 I'll never forget the ashen, terrified face of a man entering the maw of hell that is Sephora. He kept gawping like the fish out of water he was. He turned to me, a female, in desperation and I said "give me your list and wait right here".

It's called helping each other, Michelle! A lot will be asked of you when Barack is president.

Posted by: All Hail Eris at December 17, 2014 07:08 PM (KH1sk)

133 Honestly, I never fail to offer to help elderly people, black, white, purple, whatever when I'm in a store. It's how I was raised.

I watched my late mother, years ago, standing in a grocery store line behind a black lady who was having trouble coming up with the cash to buy her groceries.

Mother reached in her purse, pulled out a twenty, and quietly handed in to the lady.

Of course, my Southern mother was clearly a racist.

Posted by: Jane D'oh at December 17, 2014 07:08 PM (FsuaD)

134

Maybe if she didn't look like Patrick Ewing with a 3 day stubble, people wouldn't ask her to do anything physical.

Posted by: imp at December 17, 2014 07:08 PM (XIXZz)

135 I would never ask (or speak to) a Black person in a store (or on the street) for help.

They might cut a bitch (or something).

I'm so racist I even hate that guy in my mirror.

(like: why's he so pasty looking? And Angry. He's always so angry looking. He looks like he hasn't got laid in a while maybe. And old. Looks like he's just come back from a loooonnngg visit to the cemetery IYKWIM.)

*for those of you super sensitive to triggers and dog whistles and such: THIS WAS SARCASM*

Posted by: Bitter Clinger and All That at December 17, 2014 07:08 PM (RZzX3)

136 "not thinking they're (horrors!) an employee making only a dollar or two above the minimum wage (aah! the social insult! I shall not live)"

That's really why Mooch was so indignantly butthurt over this.

It's not a racial matter. It's more important than that to her. It's a perceived class slight.

New Class mandarins attend elite law schools, fly around the world on luxury jets to various "conferences", and imperially decree policies to the serf class on everything from what the serfs may eat to how much water the serfs' toilets may use.

But the New Class mandarinate _do not_ do physical labor, even of the most minor sort. Ever. EVER. Even merely getting a jar off of a shelf. Those are serf-class roles, and it's a grave insult that it even be suggested of one of the mandarins that they do so.

Posted by: torquewrench at December 17, 2014 07:08 PM (noWW6)

137 I get stuff for people at the store fairly frequently if they are disabled and seem to need help. Sometimes I even ask them. But, I'm polite.

Posted by: huerfano at December 17, 2014 07:08 PM (bAGA/)

138 That should be :

Worst. Pick-up LINE. Ever.

Posted by: Dr Spank at December 17, 2014 07:08 PM (9sMMW)

139 With 35 personal assistants, it seems like Mooch could have directed one to get that woman's stuff off the high shelf.

Posted by: Cicero (@cicero) at December 17, 2014 07:08 PM (8ZskC)

140 Why, no. No one has ever said anything like that to me before, why do you ask?

Posted by: alexthechick - Come to us SMOD at December 17, 2014 07:06 PM (IrByp)


Its all you need to know when trying to figure out Mooch. Bitch on wheels.

Posted by: Berserker-Dragonheads Division at December 17, 2014 07:08 PM (FMbng)

141 Totally made up story to fit her agenda.


These people are lying assholes.

Posted by: Nip Sip at December 17, 2014 07:08 PM (0FSuD)

142 >> they're usually placed at about 5'.

As specified by law.
Also the security door bar. also the fire exit map,....

You need a team of lawyers to open a business in the states.

Posted by: Gentlemen, This is democracy manifest at December 17, 2014 07:09 PM (LWu6U)

143 So I suffered from racism last week when a white woman who was a foot shorter than I asked me (also white) to get a box of cereal off the top shelf?

Who knew?

Posted by: MrDave at December 17, 2014 07:09 PM (E2g2d)

144 She's used it TWICE, as another poster mentioned. This is how starved these Mandarin are for real human experience. And, because of the gobs of cash they get AFTER leaving office, it will never change.

Posted by: Brave Sir Robin at December 17, 2014 07:09 PM (5buP8)

145 I hate those racist fucks so much I am spitting blood

Posted by: Nevergiveup at December 17, 2014 07:09 PM (nzKvP)

146 Check your tall privilege, Timon.

Posted by: Tom Thumb at December 17, 2014 07:09 PM (mPYNA)

147 131
Thank God no one asked her where the brown sugar was.

Posted by: Count de Monet at December 17, 2014 07:07 PM (JO9+V)

brooown sugaaah!!!!

Posted by: Mick Jagger at December 17, 2014 07:09 PM (HRo7B)

148 This was the Target in Alexandria, VA. I shopped there when I lived in
VA. There is no way people didn't know who she was. Impossible, when so
many of the people in N VA are in some way employed by the govt or a
related industry.


The phalanx of shopping carts with lights and sirens probably gave it away too.

Posted by: pep at December 17, 2014 07:09 PM (4nR9/)

149 >>I'm 6'4". People ask me to reach for stuff at stores ALL THE FUCKING TIME. Get over it already.

Yup. I'm 5'3" and I get asked to reach for stuff by little old ladies. I've even - gasp! - offered to do so when I see them struggling. It's called kindness to your fellow man.

Posted by: Lizzy at December 17, 2014 07:09 PM (ABcz/)

150 What does Target have in their stores that the wife of the President can't get it any where else? Or staff can't find it for her?

I don't know anyone who shops at Target.

Posted by: Skandia Recluse at December 17, 2014 07:09 PM (X4b03)

151 HEY! THE SAME THING HAPPENED TO ME!!!

IT WAS TOTALLY LIKE RAPE!!!!

Posted by: UVA Jackie at December 17, 2014 07:09 PM (MMC8r)

152 Excuse me, could you grab that off the shelf for me, ma'am? I'd get it myself, but I can't get by your gigantic ass.

Posted by: tu3031 at December 17, 2014 07:09 PM (i0wGQ)

153 Excuse me Mr Dorn. Could you get that off the shelf for me?

Posted by: Target Shopper at December 17, 2014 07:09 PM (8LTOS)

154 That was pretty funny, guess they saw me directing
me to the igneous rocks. Never happens anywhere else, though. I guess I
have a museum face.

Posted by: Persnickety at December 17, 2014 06:54 PM (Vqay0)


"The ignominious rocks? They're over there, hiding behind the metaphoric rocks. But don't wake up the sedentary rocks."

Posted by: Alberta Oil Peon at December 17, 2014 07:10 PM (8Fl6F)

155 After hailing a taxi in London, I was holding the door open waiting for Mrs. Hammer to exit the hotel, when a lady walks out and climbs in. It was like a comedy. She did say 'Thank you'. I was amused..., but not angry. There was plenty of reason to assume that I was the doorman.

Posted by: Mike Hammer, etc., etc. at December 17, 2014 07:10 PM (kgisg)

156 Would it be considered progressive of the woman to assume that Target would allow black employees out of the stock rooms and onto the sales floor?

Posted by: Seamus Muldoon, a solid man at December 17, 2014 07:10 PM (NeFrd)

157

True story:

About a month ago I was at Target shopping for a small electric heater. I had just spied the one I wanted -- the last one on the shelf...it was on sale...and a lady who was there asked me for a favor.

I said, "Of course."

She said, "Can you take that box down for me?" pointing to the heater I was just about to grab for myself.

Because of that lady, I now own an electric heater I did not want.

Posted by: Soothsayer's Imaginary Home For Incorrigible Boys & Girls at December 17, 2014 07:10 PM (sattt)

158 Wait is this the same as the fake, Bush never saw a scanner?


Yes, like that story, totally fake.

Posted by: Nip Sip at December 17, 2014 07:10 PM (0FSuD)

159 153 Posted by: Target Shopper at December 17, 2014 07:09 PM (8LTOS)

I love you in Nemesis...

you've put on some weight...

//Target Shopper to Moochelle "Worf" Ewing

Posted by: Sven S Blade a.k.a. El Assassin@sven10077 at December 17, 2014 07:10 PM (/4AZU)

160 I was amused..., but not angry. There was plenty of reason to assume that I was the doorman.

Posted by: Mike Hammer, etc., etc. at December 17, 2014 07:10 PM (kgisg)


****

Did she tip you?

Posted by: Seamus Muldoon, a solid man at December 17, 2014 07:11 PM (NeFrd)

161 Target shopper: Do you know where the douche is?
Michelle O: He should be at the 19th hole by now. Now GTFO of my way.

Posted by: Thin veneer of civility at December 17, 2014 07:11 PM (XzRw1)

162 The ten guys in suits with sunglasses and earphones talking into little microphones would have clued me in that I should probably just get my own stuff off the high shelf.

Posted by: Cicero (@cicero) at December 17, 2014 07:11 PM (8ZskC)

163
Thank God no one asked her where the brown sugar was.


or the pancake syrup

Posted by: kj at December 17, 2014 07:11 PM (lKyWE)

164 I guess that is a reasonable phobia. Better than a fear of asking the crack whore with the white stains on the shirt and the worn out knees in the jeans if you could have a BJ.

Posted by: Roy at December 17, 2014 07:12 PM (tiOTz)

165 I think she's pissed that some random shopper didn't who she is.

Posted by: otho at December 17, 2014 07:12 PM (tBSrv)

166 AtC,
I have found a pogo stick is invaluable for those awkward high shelves. Isle 4 in Toys and Sporting Goods.

Posted by: Michael Bloomberg at December 17, 2014 07:12 PM (fiVFD)

167 Maybe not as bad as " do you know wher the Chloroform



Most effective line? "Does this rag smell like chloroform?"

Posted by: rickb223 at December 17, 2014 07:12 PM (XAGDQ)

168 Excuse me but could you cotton pick that box off the top shelf for me?

Posted by: Nevergiveup at December 17, 2014 07:12 PM (nzKvP)

169 There was plenty of reason to assume that I was the doorman.

Posted by: Mike Hammer, etc., etc. at December 17, 2014 07:10 PM (kgisg)


Maybe that was a clue that it's time to retire the red velvet jacket with the epaulets.

Posted by: Cicero (@cicero) at December 17, 2014 07:13 PM (8ZskC)

170 AtC- Has anyone ever asked you for help getting something off the bottom shelf for them?

Posted by: Seamus Muldoon, a solid man at December 17, 2014 07:13 PM (NeFrd)

171 >>What does Target have in their stores that the wife of the President can't get it any where else?

A photo op of her rubbing elbows with the common folk.
Apparently, the *racist, ungrateful* common folk.

Posted by: Lizzy at December 17, 2014 07:13 PM (ABcz/)

172 I find that coriander tastes best when applied judiciously to Taco Bell take out.

Posted by: Fritz at December 17, 2014 07:13 PM (dVmLD)

173 Yeah, because the Secret Service totally allows strangers to approach the 1st lady.

Put me in the camp believing this story is a silly lie.

Posted by: Jay in PA at December 17, 2014 07:13 PM (7T0u2)

174 163


Thank God no one asked her where the brown sugar was.





or the pancake syrup

or the buckwheat

Posted by: Thin veneer of civility at December 17, 2014 07:13 PM (XzRw1)

175 That chip on Mooch's shoulder is the size of Mt. Rushmore.

I feel for her staff. Hopefully, a tell-all book will come out after she and Barry are back in Chi-town. Or Hawaii. Or Indonesia.

Posted by: Jane D'oh at December 17, 2014 07:13 PM (FsuaD)

176 Lithium. Lots and lots of Lithium.

Posted by: The Great White Snark at December 17, 2014 07:13 PM (9teII)

177 Totally made up story to fit her agenda.

These people are lying assholes.
Posted by: Nip
----------------------------

Speaking of which, did you see the total bullshit hit-piece on McCrory via AP and the News & Observer?

Posted by: Mike Hammer, etc., etc. at December 17, 2014 07:13 PM (kgisg)

178 161 Posted by: Thin veneer of civility at December 17, 2014 07:11 PM (XzRw1)

Hey-o!

Posted by: Sven S Blade a.k.a. El Assassin@sven10077 at December 17, 2014 07:13 PM (/4AZU)

179 I'm tall and look like the assistant manager at every major box store.

For ace's benefit - I take no offense when somebody asks me for help, either reaching for something off the top shelf, or if they ask the location of something and I happen to know where it is.

Even if it's where we keep the Val-u-Rite, the baby oil, and e-cigs.

Posted by: BumperStickerist at December 17, 2014 07:13 PM (4CVLy)

180 175 That chip on Mooch's shoulder is the size of Mt. Rushmore.
I feel for her staff. Hopefully, a tell-all book will come out after she and Barry are back in Chi-town. Or Hawaii. Or Indonesia.
Posted by: Jane D'oh at December 17, 2014 07:13 PM (FsuaD)



Could be Leavenworth.

Posted by: Jay Guevara at December 17, 2014 07:14 PM (oKE6c)

181 Yeah, Jake at State Farm what are you wearing.

Posted by: Moochie at December 17, 2014 07:14 PM (0FSuD)

182 Thank God no one asked her where the brown sugar was.


"Excuse me, do you know where the Mrs. Butterworth's and Aunt Jemima are?"

Posted by: rickb223 at December 17, 2014 07:14 PM (XAGDQ)

183 When I see a perplexed woman in the produce aisle, I'm always glad to assist.

Posted by: Eric Stratton at December 17, 2014 07:14 PM (mPYNA)

184 I, for one, enjoy watching the short busty chicks hop up and down and up and down as they try to reach an item on the upper shelves.


Especially when they just came over from the frozen food aisle.


I denounce myself, of course.

Posted by: Count de Monet at December 17, 2014 07:14 PM (JO9+V)

185 The white person was just 'a composite'.

Posted by: Mike Hammer, etc., etc. at December 17, 2014 07:14 PM (kgisg)

186 170
AtC- Has anyone ever asked you for help getting something off the bottom shelf for them?

Posted by: Seamus Muldoon, a solid man at December 17, 2014 07:13 PM (NeFrd)


You have a death wish, don't you?

Posted by: Jane D'oh at December 17, 2014 07:14 PM (FsuaD)

187 "bitch on stilts" surmounts "dog bites man"

Posted by: A Separate Piece at December 17, 2014 07:15 PM (KG1MP)

188

That's a good and legitimate question, Seamus.

I suffer from lower back pain and have trouble bending over. It'd be nice if a small person would pick up my items for me from the lower shelves.

Posted by: Soothsayer's Imaginary Home For Incorrigible Boys & Girls at December 17, 2014 07:15 PM (sattt)

189 But Michele Obama goes through life like a china shop in a stockyard, looking to be shattered by hoof-fall.



Moo, baby.

Posted by: Grievance Cow at December 17, 2014 07:15 PM (uSAVP)

190 People in stores are constantly *volunteering* to get stuff off the high shelves (by which I mean anything over the second shelf) for me, what with feeling pity after watching me hop up and down trying to get stuff.


Where's the trampoline? Why is there never one around when you need one.


Posted by: Hanoverfist at December 17, 2014 07:15 PM (fvkPE)

191 Maybe you should just consider a little kindness to be payback to the taxpayer who's been pampering your fat ass on its endless vacationing around the world on their dime, you ungrateful cow.

Posted by: --- at December 17, 2014 07:15 PM (MMC8r)

192 You wanna talk oppression?

I've been in the corporate world for about 30 years. I'm 6'2" 230 lbs, and a gym rat. Guess who's been commandeered by the women (and far too many girly men) in the office for almost three decades to pick up or move anything heavier than a damn stapler?

Women's lib, my ass...

Posted by: B at December 17, 2014 07:15 PM (6iEQd)

193 So someone gets through Michelle's security cordon and asks her to get something?

Had to knock down two guys wearing sunglasses and earphones.

Posted by: Bertram Cabot Jr. at December 17, 2014 07:15 PM (W5DcG)

194 >>When I see a perplexed woman in the produce aisle, I'm always glad to assist.

Otter!!!!!!!

Posted by: Lizzy at December 17, 2014 07:15 PM (ABcz/)

195 That wookie could go goose hunting with a rake.

Posted by: redenzo at December 17, 2014 07:16 PM (WCnJW)

196 Could you get that box of Aunt Jemima pancake mix down for me.



Wait is that you on the box?

Posted by: Target customer at December 17, 2014 07:16 PM (0FSuD)

197 Jeebus, I'm five foot seee...... iiiix...... and a half, and have frequently been asked to get stuff on higher shelves by the ladies.

Usually I'll joke with them, "you sure you're picking the right guy for the job?" or something along those lines, but then I stretch like hell, or Spiderman my way up the shelving to retrieve said item.

Posted by: not the tallest Moron in the world at December 17, 2014 07:16 PM (qfd4W)

198 Nipsy Russell got his start as a car hop at the Varsity in Atlanta.

I'm trying to picture a young Obama trying to wait cars.

And failing.

Posted by: Jane D'oh at December 17, 2014 07:16 PM (FsuaD)

199 I was asked by a man if I knew where the Kaboom was and I had to turn around to answer him so by switching positions that was clearly position rape and oppression.

Posted by: Bitchy, angry, fugly gender studies prof. at December 17, 2014 07:16 PM (HRo7B)

200 I remember the time that cop shot her execution style for just walking in the middle of the street. She had her hands up saying 'don't shoot' and everything.

Posted by: --- at December 17, 2014 07:17 PM (MMC8r)

201 1. hang around the freezer case.

2. kinda look like u know what ur doin

3. wait for perky breasts to arrive.

4. wait a few minutes longer.

5. ask her out.

Posted by: Cicero Kaboom! Kid at December 17, 2014 07:17 PM (uSAVP)

202 196 Could you get that box of Aunt Jemima pancake mix down for me.



Wait is that you on the box?
Posted by: Target customer at December 17, 2014 07:16 PM (0FSuD)

Nah, the lady on the box looks nice. Not like Kali.

Posted by: Kraken at December 17, 2014 07:17 PM (5+mPY)

203 Ask not what Mooch can for you; ask what you can do for Mooch. And then before you decide to not do it, ask what Mooch can do to you.

Posted by: The Great White Snark at December 17, 2014 07:17 PM (AZi6C)

204 You can tell she doesn't go grocery shopping much if she thinks it's a big deal to for her, gigantic as she is, to be asked to reach for something on the top shelf.

I ask white people for help. Does that make them my slave?

Come on.

Posted by: chique d'afrique (the artist formerly known as african chick) at December 17, 2014 07:17 PM (r+7wo)

205 In recent news, Michelle Obama is still an angry, unsatisfied woman.

Posted by: exdem13 at December 17, 2014 07:17 PM (/mTq0)

206 196 Posted by: Target customer at December 17, 2014 07:16 PM (0FSuD)

Mrs. Butterworth you're a lot bitchier than I remember in the commercials and when the hell'd you become a transgendered bears' defensive end?


//Target Shopper

Posted by: Sven S Blade a.k.a. El Assassin@sven10077 at December 17, 2014 07:18 PM (/4AZU)

207 Last Sunday I was waiting for my parents at the restaurant where we were going for lunch. Since I was waiting, I held the door open for all the people going in and out. It was a pretty long line, so I just held the door open with my foot with poking around on my phone. Why? Because I wasn't doing anything other than standing there and I could spare the energy to hold the door open for the old people and the people with kids.

If you ever want to see utter confusion, watch Southern men attempt to deal with having a woman hold the door open for them.

Posted by: alexthechick - Come to us SMOD at December 17, 2014 07:18 PM (IrByp)

208 We were at IKEA the other day, and the hubby went off to browse beds while the kiddos and I looked elsewhere. He hears a guy near him on the phone with his wife who is having trouble finding him, and the guy says, "I'm looking at beds and standing next to the tallest guy in the store." Sure enough, the wife showed up in less than a minute. My husband got a good chuckle and was glad to serve as a landmark for the poor lost woman.

But, you know, racism or something.

Posted by: Erin at December 17, 2014 07:18 PM (c2Syg)

209 Could you grab me that box of Uncle Ben's Rice?



Wait is that your husband?

Posted by: Target customer at December 17, 2014 07:18 PM (0FSuD)

210 Ok, so what is the most offensive thing they could have asked mooch for?

Where's the facial hair bleach?

Posted by: Gentlemen, This is democracy manifest at December 17, 2014 07:18 PM (LWu6U)

211
Daddy, why am I taller than you now?

Posted by: wth at December 17, 2014 07:18 PM (wAQA5)

212 You're a real sage, rickb223.

Posted by: andycanuck at December 17, 2014 07:18 PM (Dw98+)

213 205
In recent news, Michelle Obama is still an angry, unsatisfied woman.



She's married to a man with expressive wrists. Can you blame her?

Posted by: Jane D'oh at December 17, 2014 07:18 PM (FsuaD)

214 Let them eat cake get their own shit down.

Posted by: Michelle Antoinette at December 17, 2014 07:19 PM (MMC8r)

Posted by: Michelle Antoinette at December 17, 2014 07:19 PM (MMC8r)

216 I'm seeing a patern in the comments here. Many of you are slow to take offence at common interactions when out in public. You all need to work harder at taking offence. Get the back to public school where this is being taught effectively.

Posted by: Swatara at December 17, 2014 07:19 PM (V8aMM)

217 sigh.

Posted by: --- at December 17, 2014 07:19 PM (MMC8r)

218 Ace reminds me of John Cleese's character in AFCW:

Wanda, do you have any idea what it's like being English? Being so correct all the time, being so stifled
by this dread of, of doing the wrong thing, of saying to someone, 'Are
you married?' and hearing, ' My wife left me this morning,' or saying,
uh, ' Do you have children?' and being told they all burned to death on
Wednesday. You see, Wanda, we're all terrified of embarrassment. That's
why we're so - dead. Most of my friends are dead, you know; we've these
piles of corpses to dinner. But you're alive, God bless you, and I want
to be, I'm so fed up with all this. I want to make love with you, Wanda.
I'm a good lover - at least, used to be, back in the early 14th
century. Can we go to bed?

Posted by: docweasel at December 17, 2014 07:19 PM (DzQH3)

219 Same shit as Emmit Till. When will 'Merica get unracist?

Posted by: california red at December 17, 2014 07:19 PM (UyEG4)

220 210
Ok, so what is the most offensive thing they could have asked mooch for?

Where's the facial hair bleach?


Midol, extra strength.

Posted by: pep at December 17, 2014 07:19 PM (4nR9/)

221 With 35 personal assistants, it seems like Mooch could have directed one to get that woman's stuff off the high shelf.

A true narcissist would ensure that none of their 35 personal assistants were taller.

Posted by: SpongeBobSaget at December 17, 2014 07:19 PM (zauWW)

222 Jeez, I was at the KMart two weeks ago and TWO people asked me for help finding stuff. I'm whiter than TiO. If that's a typical example of American racism, then let's wrap it up: there is NO problem here folks.

Posted by: gp at December 17, 2014 07:20 PM (mk9aG)

223 Well, she WAS in the 'microaggressions' aisle...

Posted by: --- at December 17, 2014 07:20 PM (MMC8r)

224 If you ever want to see utter confusion, watch Southern men attempt to deal with having a woman hold the door open for them.



Not funny. If you knew the confusion that causes.

Posted by: rickb223 at December 17, 2014 07:20 PM (XAGDQ)

225 I was in Brooklyn once, and I asked a Hasidic Jew if he knew where Grimaldi's was (best pizza on Earth). He said sarcastically, "I don't know if you noticed, but I eat kosher". So I said, "I noticed, but I just thought you might know where shit is in your neighborhood, but you obviously don't, so thanks for nothing, asshole".

Anyway, Michelle Obama is a cartoon and I asked for directions from the one dickhead I met in Brooklyn.

Posted by: UGAdawg at December 17, 2014 07:20 PM (c+vBe)

226 I saw this this at WZ earlier, and made a conscious decision: instead of getting depressed about "the news," now I just make a mixed drink & giggle.

Fook it. The end is near. Bring on the SMOD. If more than half of the country can make the decision to put these classless race-baiting idiots in the White House, I can make the decision to ignore them, and the rest of the world.

Bottoms up, Morons

Posted by: shredded chi at December 17, 2014 07:20 PM (n7tOS)

227 I want to know where Barry was in this story. Why wasn't he there? It's not like he was busy working, or anything.

Posted by: otho at December 17, 2014 07:20 PM (tBSrv)

228
wow these high shelf anecdotes we are all sharing are great -- we ought to do this more often

Posted by: Soothsayer's Imaginary Home For Incorrigible Boys & Girls at December 17, 2014 07:20 PM (sattt)

229 Can you point me to the athletic cups?

Posted by: Target shopper at December 17, 2014 07:20 PM (XzRw1)

230 >>Ok, so what is the most offensive thing they could have asked mooch for?

SlimFast?

Posted by: Lizzy at December 17, 2014 07:20 PM (ABcz/)

231 This happened to me at Target once. I made the mistake of wearing a red shirt with black slacks while shopping. A lady asked me where the Barbie display was. I told her it was in the garden department. es, Ma'am, I know it's crazy, but that's where it is. Felt bad about it later. Not really.

Posted by: Duke Lowell at December 17, 2014 07:21 PM (KFdZd)

232 Excuse me women with the asshole look, where are the douche bags sold?


I figured you would know.

Posted by: Target customer at December 17, 2014 07:21 PM (0FSuD)

233 Arms up... Can't reach.

Posted by: new idea for a protest t-shirt at December 17, 2014 07:21 PM (qfd4W)

234 Her reach does not exceed her tongue's rasp.

Posted by: East Wing Unceasing at December 17, 2014 07:21 PM (KG1MP)

235 Wait, People is interviewing Michelle and Barack *again*???

Posted by: chique d'afrique (the artist formerly known as african chick) at December 17, 2014 07:21 PM (r+7wo)

236 Along these lines Hillary! hasn't driven a vee-hickle in over 20 years.

Imagine the press coverage when she comments on cars THAT CAN PARK THEMSELVES! ...

Posted by: BumperStickerist at December 17, 2014 07:21 PM (4CVLy)

237

Ok, so what is the most offensive thing they could have asked mooch for?


The name of the plastic surgeon that specializes in ameliorating severe prognathism.

Posted by: imp at December 17, 2014 07:22 PM (XIXZz)

238 235
Wait, People is interviewing Michelle and Barack *again*???



Wait until the movie about their "love story" comes out.

Seriously. It's in the works.

Posted by: Jane D'oh at December 17, 2014 07:22 PM (FsuaD)

239 but then I stretch like hell, or Spiderman my way up the shelving to retrieve said item.

Being on a high horse helps.

Posted by: M'chelle at December 17, 2014 07:22 PM (FcR7P)

240 Ace: You should really update this post to reflect the update in the blog you linked -- Michelle Obama was LYING about the Target incident. She told the SAME story on Letterman in 2011, not to accuse the shopper of racism, but to laugh at the fact that her disguise worked and the she was not recognized. It's really quite appalling that she's so deliberately race baiting like this in the post Mike Brown/Eric Garner atmosphere.

Posted by: Average Joe at December 17, 2014 07:22 PM (WL/ot)

241 Posted by: chique d'afrique (the artist formerly known as african chick) at December 17, 2014 07:17 PM (r+7wo)

They're probably just glad you didn't mug them or something.


Posted by: Bitter Clinger and All That at December 17, 2014 07:22 PM (RZzX3)

242 "Excuse me, you look like someone who knows where the vagisil is..."

Posted by: --- at December 17, 2014 07:22 PM (MMC8r)

243 235 Wait, People is interviewing Michelle and Barack *again*???
Posted by: chique d'afrique (the artist formerly known as african chick) at December 17, 2014 07:21 PM (r+7wo)

I'd say "only 2 more years", Chique, we we both know they're never going to go away. Classless louts and all.

Posted by: Kraken at December 17, 2014 07:23 PM (5+mPY)

244
Ok, so what is the most offensive thing they could have asked mooch for?

Gigantic assed, angry Klingon action figures.

Posted by: tu3031 at December 17, 2014 07:23 PM (i0wGQ)

245 >>Ok, so what is the most offensive thing they could have asked mooch for?


Where's the noose aisle?


What do I win?

Posted by: Dr Spank at December 17, 2014 07:23 PM (9sMMW)

246 I usually just knock the higher items down with my walker.

Posted by: Cankles Clinton at December 17, 2014 07:23 PM (qfd4W)

247 This happened to me at Target once. I made the mistake of wearing a red shirt with black slacks while shopping. A lady asked me where the Barbie display was. I told her it was in the garden department. es, Ma'am, I know it's crazy, but that's where it is. Felt bad about it later. Not
really.



Never wear kakhis and a royal blue polo shirt into Wal Mart. Never.

Posted by: rickb223 at December 17, 2014 07:24 PM (XAGDQ)

248 Finally, my husband is on the way home from work. Because he's a business owner and works his ass off, unlike the JEF and Mooch.

Gotta start a nice dinner.

Later.

Posted by: Jane D'oh at December 17, 2014 07:24 PM (FsuaD)

249 Asking a black person to help you reach something on a high shelf is the same thing as saying hey, you must be good at basketball!

-
Basketball and robbery.

Posted by: Saint Swisher of Sweet at December 17, 2014 07:24 PM (QTEtN)

250 People magazine--bah. The bootlicking toady interviewing Michelle should have pointed out that reaching up would help keep her toned arms all toney-like.

Posted by: Furious George at December 17, 2014 07:24 PM (UlJ3l)

251 AtC- Has anyone ever asked you for help getting something off the bottom shelf for them?

Posted by: Seamus Muldoon, a solid man at December 17, 2014 07:13 PM (NeFrd)



First of all *throatpunch*

II. Yup. There have been more than one occasion where someone in a wheelchair has asked me to get something or I've volunteered to get it for them.

You know, like the decent person I pretend to be.

Posted by: alexthechick - Come to us SMOD at December 17, 2014 07:24 PM (IrByp)

252 Let's see:

Obviously unqualified Senator (and unqualified for that, see also "Present" voting record)? Check.

President with certain melanin skin content unimpeached despite scores of impeachable offenses? Check.

Lapdog media covering for said President? Check.

Wife of then-Senator (unqualified) scoring a no-show $300k hospital job despite a barely junior-high level "thesis"? Check.

Michelle is right, there IS lots of racism -- just not any of it the way she wants people to think.

I really, really REALLY wish this low-class harpy and her cakeboy "husband" were getting even a thimbleful of the bad karma they have earned for years of their grievance-mongering and race-baiting ...

Posted by: acethepug at December 17, 2014 07:24 PM (37xk6)

253 >>Ok, so what is the most offensive thing they could have asked mooch for?

Brillo pads?

Posted by: Lizzy at December 17, 2014 07:24 PM (ABcz/)

254 >>> You all need to work harder at taking offence.

Get lost.

Posted by: fluffy at December 17, 2014 07:24 PM (Ua6T/)

255 I like how the Obamas are trying to calm the waters of racial unrest.

Posted by: chique d'afrique (the artist formerly known as african chick) at December 17, 2014 07:24 PM (r+7wo)

256 'Scuse me sir, know where the cock balm is?

Posted by: mugiwara at December 17, 2014 07:25 PM (3a584)

257 "That chip on Mooch's shoulder is the size of Mt. Rushmore. I feel
for her staff. Hopefully, a tell-all book will come out after she and
Barry are back in Chi-town. Or Hawaii. Or Indonesia."

Apparently Mooch's publicly salaried White House "staff" are mostly a bunch of hangers-on from elsewhere in her social circle. Daughters of girlfriends and what have you. They have it easy.

The people upon whom our sympathies should be showered are the private-sector workers in hotels and restaurants who have to deal with the Obamas in an official capacity.

The last time al-Buraq went to China for an economic summit, he took along all four of the womenfolk: Mooch, Mooch's mom, Septicemia, and Malaria. There's a priceless photo of the four women getting off of Air Force One in Beijing, all apparently in bad moods after the long flight. It proves that the curled-lip Mooch scowl is genetic. She inherited it from the maternal side and she has passed it on to both daughters. Unmistakable.

Anyway, someone from the UK press who speaks conversational Chinese called the hotel, and got through to a top-floor concierge who had the "opportunity", if you can call it that, to handle the Obama women as guests.

They were by report crass, crude, incessantly demanding, and racially abusive to the Chinese staff. Gosh. Go figure.

Posted by: torquewrench at December 17, 2014 07:25 PM (noWW6)

258 Posted by: alexthechick - Come to us SMOD at December 17, 2014 07:18 PM (IrByp)

It say thank you and smile as it happens so rarely.

Then later I weep for my lost virility and youth as women usually hold doors only for older (and more decrepit looking) men.

*sigh*

Posted by: Bitter Clinger and All That at December 17, 2014 07:25 PM (RZzX3)

259 225
I was in Brooklyn once, and I asked a Hasidic Jew if he knew where
Grimaldi's was (best pizza on Earth). He said sarcastically, "I don't
know if you noticed, but I eat kosher". So I said, "I noticed, but I
just thought you might know where shit is in your neighborhood, but you
obviously don't, so thanks for nothing, asshole".



Anyway, Michelle Obama is a cartoon and I asked for directions from the one dickhead I met in Brooklyn.

Posted by: UGAdawg at December 17, 2014 07:20 PM (c+vBe)

LOL! Assholes come in all sizes, styles and colors.

Posted by: Viv Savage at December 17, 2014 07:25 PM (HRo7B)

260 Ok, so what is the most offensive thing they could have asked mooch for?


Where's the noose aisle?



Where's the white sheets at?

Posted by: rickb223 at December 17, 2014 07:25 PM (XAGDQ)

261 >>I like how the Obamas are trying to calm the waters of racial unrest.

All that time spent with Sharpton is really paying off, eh?

Posted by: Lizzy at December 17, 2014 07:25 PM (ABcz/)

262 valerie jarret ordered a drink from a US Army General because she thought he was a waiter

these people are just grade a stupid, one time I was painting my own house and there was a news van on the street, they thought I was just a handyman because I was painting a house, I took no offense, I have a fairly nice house and I was covered in paint and messy clothes . . . and I do not believe the idea that poor obama could not get a cab, if he is dressed in a suit while he is a lawyer over there, he gets a cab, nonsense that cabs apparently drive around "bad neighborhoods" in cities just to not pick up the people who live there

Posted by: Chelsea Danger at December 17, 2014 07:26 PM (SZWTt)

263 Ok, so what is the most offensive thing they could have asked mooch for?
over the counter male enhancement supplements

Posted by: kj at December 17, 2014 07:26 PM (lKyWE)

264 Wait until the movie about their "love story" comes out.

Seriously. It's in the works.
Posted by: Jane D'oh at December 17, 2014 07:22 PM (FsuaD)

Ugh. Please don't remind me.

I'm sure it will all be entirely true, just like everything else Barack says.

Posted by: chique d'afrique (the artist formerly known as african chick) at December 17, 2014 07:26 PM (r+7wo)

265 253
>>Ok, so what is the most offensive thing they could have asked mooch for?

Pomade?

Posted by: Viv Savage at December 17, 2014 07:27 PM (HRo7B)

266 Hey buddy, how's the watermelon look?


Posted by: Target shopper at December 17, 2014 07:27 PM (XzRw1)

267 Keep in mind the Obama Paradigm.

Obama could not get a cab, for free.
_

Posted by: BumperStickerist at December 17, 2014 07:27 PM (4CVLy)

268 261 >>I like how the Obamas are trying to calm the waters of racial unrest.

All that time spent with Sharpton is really paying off, eh?
Posted by: Lizzy at December 17, 2014 07:25 PM (ABcz/)

Sometimes I almost get the feeling that Barry and Michelle would like to ship me back to Scotland.

Posted by: Kraken at December 17, 2014 07:27 PM (5+mPY)

269 This would seem to be news.

John Cardillo @johncardillo 10m
Obama released #2 of Taliban group that killed the kids in Pakistan 2 weeks prior to shooting.
http://t.co/qDonu0WMVy

Posted by: Costanza Defense at December 17, 2014 07:27 PM (ZPrif)

270 Excuse me large Black Lady, were are the Cuban Black beans?

Posted by: Target customer at December 17, 2014 07:27 PM (0FSuD)

271 Hair straightener?

Posted by: Viv Savage at December 17, 2014 07:27 PM (HRo7B)

272 230 >>Ok, so what is the most offensive thing they could have asked mooch for?

SlimFast?
Posted by: Lizzy at December 17, 2014 07:20 PM (ABcz/)


A copy of "Liberty & Tyranny" and a box of Ultra Sheen.

Posted by: J.J. Sefton at December 17, 2014 07:28 PM (CMkNk)

273 256
'Scuse me sir, know where the cock balm is?


Posted by: mugiwara


Well played.

Posted by: Dr Spank at December 17, 2014 07:28 PM (9sMMW)

274 Heightist bitch needs to check her vertical privilege.

Posted by: Fringe at December 17, 2014 07:28 PM (oWl4T)

275 Price check on Vagiclean. Can I get a price check on Vagiclean. Vagiclean. Price check.

Posted by: Me, Myself and Moochelle at December 17, 2014 07:28 PM (uSAVP)

276 Where's the wig aisle?

Posted by: otho at December 17, 2014 07:28 PM (tBSrv)

277 @72

I have the opposite problem of alexthechick.

People- typically foreigners and the elderly- constantly ask me where things are even if I am pushing a cart, wearing a coat and obviously shopping. If I can help them I will. I have always filed it under "I'm approachable."

Obviously, the world is full of racist foreigners and old people who just can't wait to prey on a white woman.

/also, I don't want to ask people where things are in the store, or ask directions. I NEVER want to ask for directions.

Posted by: shibumi who is exceptionally cynical today at December 17, 2014 07:28 PM (q9alm)

278 At the grocery store I am so politically correct I don't ask black employees for vinegar in case I am misunderstood.

Posted by: anchovy at December 17, 2014 07:28 PM (PtVFw)

279 Yo ho, where the grape drank at?

Posted by: mugiwara at December 17, 2014 07:28 PM (3a584)

280 >>>But Michele Obama goes through life like a china shop in a stockyard, looking to be shattered by hoof-fall.

I love this metaphor.

Posted by: MikeTheMoose at December 17, 2014 07:29 PM (0q2P7)

281 Obama released #2 of Taliban group that killed the kids in Pakistan 2 weeks prior to shooting.

Oh, look, Kardashians.

Posted by: The MSM, 24/7 at December 17, 2014 07:29 PM (MMC8r)

282 Excuse me, Miss. Can you tell me where the Arugula and Star Wars action figures and personal lubricant is?

Posted by: Minnfidel at December 17, 2014 07:29 PM (bXdYS)

283 A copy of "Liberty Tyranny" and a box of Ultra Sheen.





Posted by: J.J. Sefton at December 17, 2014 07:28 PM (CMkNk)

Ultra-Sheen!! THAT'S what i was trying to think of JJ!

Posted by: Viv Savage at December 17, 2014 07:29 PM (HRo7B)

284 I'm only 5-10, not short, not tall. I was in a guitar store one day, and the best stuff is always hung higher on the walls. I was reaching up trying to test the waters to see if I could safely get this guitar off the hook. Out of nowhere this arm comes up along mine and its much taller than me. I hear "do you want me to try?" I look to the right and I'm staring directly at a pair of boobehs. It was a chick who was well over 6ft tall. The worst part was I was so shocked at her height and eye level boobehs I froze. After a few seconds I slowly looked up. She smiled and said "Sorry if I confused you, but do you still want me to try get this guitar down?' All I could get out was uh huh. lol

The kicker was she didn't even work there, she played keyboards and was just walking around looking at stuff. If she was working there I would have bought the sucker just to give her the commission.

Posted by: Berserker-Dragonheads Division at December 17, 2014 07:29 PM (FMbng)

285
>>Ok, so what is the most offensive thing they could have asked mooch for?
.......................
Excuse ma'am, did you find that dress in the shower curtain section, or the picnic table cover aisle?

Posted by: wth at December 17, 2014 07:29 PM (wAQA5)

286 I heard you can't buy KY here. Send Reggie to Wal Mart.

Posted by: Target customer at December 17, 2014 07:29 PM (0FSuD)

287 Not long ago at WalMart a black woman approached me [I'm non-black] and asked where something was in the electronics department. Since I'm fairly familiar with that section, I told her it was two aisles down on the right, about eye level.

I did briefly consider telling her I didn't work there but since I was able to help, what was the point?

And then she came back for more help locating things. It was a hoot, and the WalMart employees who were nearby, but busy with other customers, were amused.

Now I'm wondering if I was the victim of racism, since a woman of another race automatically asked me for assistance. It was probably sexism, too. Can I sue WalMart or the electronics manufacturer?.

Posted by: Xavier at December 17, 2014 07:29 PM (RHLb7)

288 "Do you know where the corriander is?"

It's spelled clitoris.

Posted by: wooga at December 17, 2014 07:29 PM (OuLBr)

289 Excuse me, honey, but where are the really BIG underpants?

Posted by: --- at December 17, 2014 07:29 PM (MMC8r)

290 "Ok, so what is the most offensive thing they could have asked mooch for?"

"Pardon me if this seems like a personal question, m'am, but have you heard anything about these new health care sharing ministries? I'm very curious to learn more about them. Because this Obamacare thing is like having to eat a plateful of syphilitic donkey anuses."

Posted by: torquewrench at December 17, 2014 07:30 PM (noWW6)

291 Where is the beard conditioner you use?

Posted by: ManWithNoParty, unperson from Free Market Jesus Paradise at December 17, 2014 07:30 PM (5kNXS)

292 225 Posted by: UGAdawg at December 17, 2014 07:20 PM (c+vBe)

At my college radio station, I was asked as a favor to interview this crunchy vegan about her new cookbook. When she arrived we exchanged pleasantries and I asked, in all innocence, if I could get her a Coke.

Oops . . .

Posted by: J.J. Sefton at December 17, 2014 07:30 PM (CMkNk)

293 Pardon me, are the Hoho's up there?

Posted by: Target shopper at December 17, 2014 07:30 PM (XzRw1)

294 When people live and are comfortable in what would generally be considered a segregated neighborhood, this is the kind of idiocy you get when people venture out into the real world.

Posted by: Fritz at December 17, 2014 07:30 PM (dVmLD)

295 -

Excuse me, ma'am, while your hands are up, and you're asking to not be shot, could you hand me a box of Weet-a-Bix

Posted by: BumperStickerist at December 17, 2014 07:31 PM (4CVLy)

296 There have been a couple of times when I was in a store and someone mistook me for an employee and asked me where to find something. If I know the answer, I'll help them out. If not, I'll tell them I don't work there and to ask a store employee.

What I don't do is get all pissy and offended about it.

Posted by: rickl at December 17, 2014 07:31 PM (sdi6R)

297 Posted by: Berserker-Dragonheads Division at December 17, 2014 07:29 PM (FMbng)
LOL.

Posted by: chique d'afrique (the artist formerly known as african chick) at December 17, 2014 07:31 PM (r+7wo)

298 Lord. I ask people to help me all the time that I know don't work wherever. I couldn't find black eyed peas the other day and after staring at all the beans for 10 minutes I asked a another shopper if she know where they were. We finally found them and had a pleasant conversation about their really odd placement. Maybe I should say we had a "civil" conversation

Posted by: Whitney at December 17, 2014 07:31 PM (7tx7T)

299 hey look, I did an anonymous comment (285) let's see if I can do that again

Posted by: wth at December 17, 2014 07:31 PM (wAQA5)

300 Coriander mite b ezier 2 find if u spelled it corektly

Posted by: Jake from State Farm at December 17, 2014 07:32 PM (ifjKw)

301 Hey, where's the moustache wax?

Posted by: --- at December 17, 2014 07:32 PM (MMC8r)

302 Scare me up a folded towel, fair-share maiden of scowls

Posted by: Prithee at December 17, 2014 07:32 PM (KG1MP)

303 Yes mam, they sell Ben and Jerry's in gallon containers.

Posted by: Target customer at December 17, 2014 07:32 PM (0FSuD)

304 Where did you find that mustache wax?

Posted by: mugiwara at December 17, 2014 07:32 PM (3a584)

305 So I was in the elevator yesterday and some guy, get this, asked me to push a button for him! The nerve! What am I, some bellhop? Racist bastard!

Posted by: wooga at December 17, 2014 07:32 PM (OuLBr)

306 If you ever want to see utter confusion, watch Southern men attempt to deal with having a woman hold the door open for them.

-
Southern man don't need you around anyhow.

Posted by: Lynard Skinard at December 17, 2014 07:32 PM (59BSV)

307 that was weird

Posted by: wth at December 17, 2014 07:33 PM (wAQA5)

308 283 Ultra-Sheen!! THAT'S what i was trying to think of JJ!
Posted by: Viv Savage at December 17, 2014 07:29 PM (HRo7B)


Speaking of all this racialism shit, I was pulled over in Santa Monica for running a red light. The cop was black, and when he asked for my license and registration, I reached into the glove box to retrieve the documents but had to pull out a bunch of CD's. James Brown, Aretha Franklin, Al Green, etc. I swear, as G-d as my witness, I was just looking for my registration and not consciously aware of the discs I was taking out.

The guy let me go with a mild warning.

Emmes truth!

Posted by: J.J. Sefton at December 17, 2014 07:33 PM (CMkNk)

309 Did he say his name was J.J., Viv?

Posted by: andycanuck at December 17, 2014 07:33 PM (Dw98+)

310 Miss, do you know where the "mane and tail" shampoois, it's almost Friday?

Posted by: Gentlemen, This is democracy manifest at December 17, 2014 07:33 PM (LWu6U)

311 Damn, missed it by that --- much, lol.

Posted by: mugiwara at December 17, 2014 07:33 PM (3a584)

312 Obese Troll Michael Moore Congratulates Cuba For Winning Against The US

Weasel Zippers

As much as I hate that fat bastard, he is right

And the chip on mooch's shoulder is bigger than her ass

Posted by: Nevergiveup at December 17, 2014 07:34 PM (nzKvP)

313 And since Michelle is usually dolled up when she's photographed for magazines and such and for the Target trip, she deliberately dressed down, it's very possible the person asking for help didn't recognize her.

Posted by: chique d'afrique (the artist formerly known as african chick) at December 17, 2014 07:34 PM (r+7wo)

314 305 So I was in the elevator yesterday and some guy, get this, asked me to push a button for him! The nerve! What am I, some bellhop? Racist bastard!
Posted by: wooga at December 17, 2014 07:32 PM (OuLBr)


". . . elevator operator, table cleaners at Horn & Hardart," as the song goes.

Posted by: J.J. Sefton at December 17, 2014 07:34 PM (CMkNk)

315 Pardon me, ma'am, but can you tell me where to find a greeting card for a bitchy middle-aged woman who's in a loveless marriage with a closeted homosexual?

Posted by: --- at December 17, 2014 07:34 PM (MMC8r)

316 #309 Correction: did he say his name to you, UGAdawg?!

Posted by: andycanuck at December 17, 2014 07:34 PM (Dw98+)

317 Obama released #2 of Taliban group that killed the kids in Pakistan 2 weeks prior to shooting.

Is there a group of murderous thugs whom I have NOT helped this year? Seriously, anywhere in the world...

Posted by: Barack Almighty at December 17, 2014 07:34 PM (FcR7P)

318

in b4 Buckwheat cereal??

Posted by: Soothsayer's Imaginary Home For Incorrigible Boys & Girls at December 17, 2014 07:34 PM (sattt)

319 I go out of my way to help clueless ppl, esp elderly, at the store. Apparently I am not FLOTUS material.

Damn she's a bitch.

Posted by: Y-not on the phone at December 17, 2014 07:35 PM (9BRsg)

320 Mam, after you buy the stuff watch this. It gets rid of the smell.


http://tinyurl.com/p4tg93g

Posted by: Target customer at December 17, 2014 07:35 PM (0FSuD)

321 318

in b4 Buckwheat cereal??
Posted by: Soothsayer's Imaginary Home For Incorrigible Boys & Girls at December 17, 2014 07:34 PM (sattt)

Nope, fraid you got Stymied.

Posted by: Kraken at December 17, 2014 07:35 PM (5+mPY)

322 Once I was in an elevator and some guy said "jew wanna go to the 5th floor?" So i beat him to death with my umbrella. Fuckin racist.

Posted by: Viv Savagestein at December 17, 2014 07:35 PM (HRo7B)

323 Mooch sure is easily offended helping out the little people when they specify what help they need.

Posted by: Swatara at December 17, 2014 07:35 PM (V8aMM)

324 I always appeal to random strangers while shopping.

I had a perfectly adorable chick helping me pick out Xmas gifts in REI yesterday. Way better than any of the tofu sucking employees.

Posted by: Garrett at December 17, 2014 07:35 PM (F7vVo)

325 Excuse me Miss? Can you reach up and grab that humility for me? Thank you.

Posted by: Minnfidel at December 17, 2014 07:35 PM (bXdYS)

326 312 Posted by: Nevergiveup at December 17, 2014 07:34 PM (nzKvP)


This too shall pass. Be of good cheer on Hanukkah.

Posted by: J.J. Sefton at December 17, 2014 07:36 PM (CMkNk)

327 But you could still make it with Farina.

Posted by: Kraken at December 17, 2014 07:36 PM (5+mPY)

328 Where might I find the Wide Load signs?

Posted by: wth at December 17, 2014 07:36 PM (wAQA5)

329 Why would anyone ask Michelle Obama to reach for anything?

Isn't it obvious she is a very small person?

A very small person.

Posted by: (not JJ) Sefton at December 17, 2014 07:37 PM (wi0rD)

330 Target shopper: Do you know where the douche is?
Michelle O: He should be at the 19th hole by now. Now GTFO of my way.



Posted by: Thin veneer of civility at December 17, 2014 07:11 PM (XzRw1)

I'm gonna vote thread winner here. lol weeeee

Posted by: Berserker-Dragonheads Division at December 17, 2014 07:37 PM (FMbng)

331 I'm going to go ahead and suggest we remove the 'resting' from Resting Bitch Face.

Posted by: Garrett at December 17, 2014 07:37 PM (F7vVo)

332 242 "Excuse me, you look like someone who knows where the vagisil is..."

Vagisil, *shudder*: when my wife and I were in college, we went camping together. We were in our sleeping bags, and I was going to brush my teeth. I asked her for some, and she hands me her dop kit. I dug around, and pulled out the "tooth-paste." That was when toothpaste tubes were still heavy foil. Anyway, it was an ancient tube of Vagisil, and my mouth was numb for 2 days.

Posted by: Brave Sir Robin at December 17, 2014 07:37 PM (5buP8)

333 I had a perfectly adorable chick helping me pick out Xmas gifts in REI yesterday. Way better than any of the tofu sucking employees.

Like Chevy Chase at the lingerie counter?

Posted by: t-bird at December 17, 2014 07:37 PM (FcR7P)

334 And since Michelle is usually dolled up when she's photographed for magazines and such and for the Target trip, she deliberately dressed down, it's very possible the person asking for help didn't recognize her.

Posted by: chique d'afrique (the artist formerly known as african chick) at December 17, 2014 07:34 PM

That's why she's pissed. She wants to look she's going incognito, but wants to be recognized anyway. That's when you know you've made it and you're "somebody".
*takes off sunglasses* Why yes, it IS me. How on earth did you know?!"

Posted by: otho at December 17, 2014 07:38 PM (tBSrv)

335 329 Posted by: (not JJ) Sefton at December 17, 2014 07:37 PM (wi0rD)


Pardon me, but, uh, can you find a nic that is not so close to mine?

Posted by: J.J. Sefton at December 17, 2014 07:38 PM (CMkNk)

336 As a person of color, it never occurred to me to think of racism when asked for help. I need to up my game.

Somewhat off-topic, it cracks me up when people try to describe a black person and describe everything but his/her race, even if the person they're describing is one of the few black people around and it would be so much easier to say something like, the tall bald black dude.

Posted by: chique d'afrique (the artist formerly known as african chick) at December 17, 2014 07:38 PM (r+7wo)

337 OK, the watermelon is on aisle three. Idiot.

Posted by: Target customer at December 17, 2014 07:39 PM (0FSuD)

338 Hands Up, Grab the Soap!

Posted by: Minnfidel at December 17, 2014 07:39 PM (bXdYS)

339 332 Posted by: Brave Sir Robin at December 17, 2014 07:37 PM (5buP


Lou Costello with the "ant paste" "antipasta" mix up.

Posted by: J.J. Sefton at December 17, 2014 07:39 PM (CMkNk)

340 Ok, so what is the most offensive thing they could have asked mooch for?

Psst. Where did you park the ship?

Posted by: The Aliens at December 17, 2014 07:39 PM (FcR7P)

341 This too shall pass. Be of good cheer on Hanukkah.

Posted by: J.J. Sefton at December 17, 2014 07:36 PM (CMkNk)

Your right. And you too my friend. Next year in Jerusalem

Posted by: Nevergiveup at December 17, 2014 07:39 PM (nzKvP)

342 funny stuff happens in stores all the time. A while ago I was in a store picking out shirts and asked a guy for help in finding a different size. it turns out he did not work in the store but he made fun of it and acted as if he did. I have been on the other side of the same situation and did not get all bent out of shape.

I have had lots of instances where shorter people have asked me to help get something from a taller shelf and done so gladly. I have even offered help when I noticed someone having trouble reaching something.

maybe our stupid special snowflake princess could offer to help once in a while.




Posted by: n at December 17, 2014 07:40 PM (iBXmZ)

343 I'm 6' tall and I have had people ask me if I could get an item off the top shelf for them.

Guess what? I did it.

"Thank you."

"You're welcome."

Is that so complicated?

Posted by: rickl at December 17, 2014 07:40 PM (sdi6R)

344 8 The last time she talked about this incident, she thought it was sweet; just two citizens being nice to each other and stuff.

Posted by: Buck Farky


Wrong. There's no hint as to what she was really thinking. That interpretation fit her narrative at that time, "Hey Im just another person. Im like you. Vote for my hubby." Now this fits the racist narrative they are pushing. You want to know what she's thinking--"I like pie". No more complicated than that.

Posted by: dirks strewn at December 17, 2014 07:40 PM (TIgJq)

345 in b4 Buckwheat cereal??
Posted by: Soothsayer's Imaginary Home For Incorrigible Boys & Girls

Nope, fraid you got Stymied.
Posted by: Kraken



Alfalfa grass, pet aisle.

Posted by: rickb223 at December 17, 2014 07:41 PM (XAGDQ)

346
Actually Ultra Sheen is Emilio Estevez's superhero identity.

Posted by: J.J. Sefton at December 17, 2014 07:41 PM (CMkNk)

347 I really, really hate the Obamas.

Posted by: Kensington (@NYKensington) at December 17, 2014 07:41 PM (7Kbxu)

348 340 Posted by: The Aliens at December 17, 2014 07:39 PM (FcR7P)

Want some candy?

//http://youtu.be/ygJSyQ4XscA

Posted by: Sven S Blade a.k.a. El Assassin@sven10077 at December 17, 2014 07:41 PM (/4AZU)

349 U know what would have been more funny? It the person were in a wheelchair! hardeeharrharr!

Posted by: Me, Myself and Moochelle at December 17, 2014 07:42 PM (uSAVP)

350 /also, I don't want to ask people where things are in the store, or ask directions. I NEVER want to ask for directions.


Posted by: shibumi who is exceptionally cynical today at December 17, 2014 07:28 PM (q9alm)
-----Of course you know why Moses wandered in the desert for forty years? He didn't want to stop and ask for directions! I'm here all week folks! Please tip your waitresses and bartenders.

Posted by: Old Blue at December 17, 2014 07:42 PM (vVSOO)

351 Excuse me, Mr Ewing...

Do you think you could grab me a box of Pancake mix and maybe autograph it?

Posted by: Garrett at December 17, 2014 07:42 PM (F7vVo)

352 Breath mints? Aisle four, get the watermelon favor.

Posted by: Target customer at December 17, 2014 07:42 PM (0FSuD)

353 332 Posted by: Brave Sir Robin at December 17, 2014 07:37 PM (5buP


Actually the bit from "Amelie" when the guy brushes his teeth with the foot cream. And that shriek he lets out in the middle of the night was hilarious.

Posted by: J.J. Sefton at December 17, 2014 07:42 PM (CMkNk)

354 They are still running adds for "The Interview" on TV. Pretty funny.

Posted by: Nevergiveup at December 17, 2014 07:43 PM (nzKvP)

355 It all depends on whose eyes your looking through I guess. I had (key word, had) a friend when I first moved to MD who was an amputee. He delighted in making people feel uncomfortable. He used to box in people who illegally parked in Handicap spots and make an ass of himself in reprimanding the scofflaws, and he made everyone part of the whole sorry experience. The worst was we went out to eat once and the Waiter handed me the check. This set him off. He raised hell and accused the waiter of handing me the check because I had two legs. I tired of him relatively quickly. He was tough to hang out with.

Posted by: Trunk Monkey at December 17, 2014 07:43 PM (jucos)

356 347 I really, really hate the Obamas.
Posted by: Kensington (@NYKensington) at December 17, 2014 07:41 PM (7Kbxu)


Me too. BTW, are you in Brooklyn?

Posted by: J.J. Sefton at December 17, 2014 07:43 PM (CMkNk)

357 Douche Bags? Why do you need em, you sleep with one.

Posted by: Target customer at December 17, 2014 07:43 PM (0FSuD)

358 "wearing a jazzy red polo shirt and loose-fit khakis, does that mean you own me??!""

Yeah, screw you buddy, tired a of helping your short ass

Posted by: jake, from State Farm at December 17, 2014 07:43 PM (RGgMp)

359 I always appeal to random strangers while shopping.

I had a perfectly adorable chick helping me pick out Xmas gifts in REI yesterday. Way better than any of the tofu sucking employees.

Posted by: Garrett at December 17, 2014 07:35 PM
...........................I was at REI not long ago and most of the employees are dirt nerds. There was a smoking hot girl that started helping me with snow shoes. Telling me all the features and how she loved the pair she had. I hadn't even realized she didn't work there until I asked her if they would be on sale anytime soon and she informed me that she was not an employee. I must be sexist or racist or something. And yes I bought them.

Posted by: Minnfidel at December 17, 2014 07:43 PM (bXdYS)

360 Actually the bit from "Amelie" when the guy brushes his teeth with the foot cream. And that shriek he lets out in the middle of the night was hilarious.




Was he running off at the mouth?

Posted by: rickb223 at December 17, 2014 07:44 PM (XAGDQ)

361 It really pisses me off when I am at a store and I see a guy just rolling along, lounging in a chair and he asks me to get something off a high shelf.

I can clearly see he's tall enough to reach the item, so I know he's just being lazy, and I 'll literally have to say, "Stand up Chuck (or Fred, or Bob), God love ya! He helps those who help themsleves."

True story, I'm not joking.

Posted by: Joke Biden at December 17, 2014 07:45 PM (qfd4W)

362 The Dr Scholls foot machine?



Don't bother it only goes up to size 12.

Posted by: Target customer at December 17, 2014 07:45 PM (0FSuD)

363 "maybe our stupid special snowflake princess could offer to help once in a while"

calling Moo-Chelle a snowflake is racist.

even her heart is black.

Posted by: redc1c4 at December 17, 2014 07:46 PM (7vjeC)

364 Scuse me, can you tell me where the weight room is...cuz, uh...

Posted by: Tommy Callahan at December 17, 2014 07:46 PM (Dhdnu)

365 Dear Penthouse letters,
I never thought I would be writing to you, but on a recent shopping trip to buy snowshoes, the most incredible thing happened to me...

Posted by: Brave Sir Robin at December 17, 2014 07:46 PM (5buP8)

366 If someone said to her, "nice wookie mask" i would snicker.

There's no way in hell she's shopping at Target btw.

Posted by: torabora at December 17, 2014 07:46 PM (9dSsW)

367 Had a friend who lived in an apartment building that was converted from an old Planter's Peanut factory. The elevators were always acting up and the doors closed way too quickly. Also living in this building was a militant handicapped guy in a wheelchair who was very big on doing everything himself. One day I entered the elevator with several strangers, and saw wheelchair dude coming down the hall and pumping those rollers for all he was worth trying to make it before the doors shut. I put my hand on the door to keep it from closing as he approached, and as he enters the compartment he doesn't say "thanks", as I expected, but instead tells me that he doesn't need any special assistance just because he's in a wheelchair.

I paused, somewhat stunned at his rudeness, and told him I would have done the same thing for a non-handicapped person out of common courtesy, but I would make it a point to never hold the door for him again.

The people in the elevator laughed - they all knew he was an asshole and were glad someone finally jerked his chain.

Posted by: Xavier at December 17, 2014 07:46 PM (RHLb7)

368 360 Was he running off at the mouth?
Posted by: rickb223 at December 17, 2014 07:44 PM (XAGDQ


Droll.

*clap*

Posted by: J.J. Sefton at December 17, 2014 07:47 PM (CMkNk)

369 Excuse me ma'am, but can you direct me to the oxygen bottles?

Posted by: wth at December 17, 2014 07:47 PM (wAQA5)

370 Read the lady's Princeton Thesis. Besides her obvious problems with grammar, the woman has a bigger chip on her shoulder than Jesus on the Via Dolorosa.

Posted by: toby928(C) at December 17, 2014 07:47 PM (rwI+c)

371 "You holding?"

Posted by: otho at December 17, 2014 07:47 PM (tBSrv)

372 Fetch me the Kaboom at once !!!

Posted by: Bill D. Cat at December 17, 2014 07:48 PM (HkkyM)

373 Dear Penthouse letters,
I never thought I would be writing to you, but on a recent shopping trip to buy snowshoes, the most incredible thing happened to me...

Posted by: Brave Sir Robin at December 17, 2014 07:46 PM
..........................Well I did buy them It was rare since most of the females that work at the one I frequent make Lena Dunham seem feminine.

Posted by: Minnfidel at December 17, 2014 07:48 PM (bXdYS)

374 I actually didn't buy anything at Target, I left the carriage and just walked out. Only racist shop at Target.

Posted by: Michelle Obama at December 17, 2014 07:48 PM (53CCM)

375 I actually didn't buy anything at Target, I left the carriage and just walked out. Only racist shop at Target.

Posted by: Michelle Obama at December 17, 2014 07:48 PM (53CCM)

376 >>>Ok, so what is the most offensive thing they could have asked mooch for?<<<

When Kanye West is plowing your nethers, do you find K-Y or Astroglide to be a superior anal lubricant?

Posted by: Fritz at December 17, 2014 07:48 PM (dVmLD)

377 You know who nobody asks to get shit off the top shelf?

Kim Jong Un.

Cause he's short. And mean. And there's nothing on the shelf except dandelion margarine.

Posted by: Big Fat Meanie at December 17, 2014 07:48 PM (Dhdnu)

378


Bit nipply out....

Posted by: imp at December 17, 2014 07:49 PM (XIXZz)

379 367 The people in the elevator laughed - they all knew he was an asshole and were glad someone finally jerked his chain.
Posted by: Xavier at December 17, 2014 07:46 PM (RHLb7)


Kick him down the stairs, like Tommy Udo.

Posted by: J.J. Sefton at December 17, 2014 07:49 PM (CMkNk)

380 Probably a good time to remember that Michelle's childhood BFF was Jesse Jackson's daughter, and the family even joked that she was over at their home so often that she was Jesse's unofficial daughter.

Posted by: Lizzy at December 17, 2014 07:49 PM (ABcz/)

381 I think with the apparent failure of her school lunch program, she's feeling a bit unimportant or no longer making an impact so she decided to climb on the "6 degrees to racism" band wagon after the Occupant decides to goof about being taken for a valet somewhere.

Now if someone was really racist, the last thing they'd do would turn their keys over to some Black guy.

The only kind of racism this stuff points out is the kind of racism that Liberals practice. The underhanded sneaky assumptions kind of racism practiced by elite white folks.

Posted by: Bitter Clinger and All That at December 17, 2014 07:49 PM (RZzX3)

382 Excuse me sir, can you see any 150W light bulbs up there?

Posted by: Target shopper at December 17, 2014 07:49 PM (XzRw1)

383 17 So she wasn't dressed anything at all like a Target employee and had sunglasses on; and when she first told this anecdote the 6 (?) months ago wasn't given as a "we're just ordinary folks and this proves it" meme?
Posted by: andycanuck at December 17, 2014 06:51 PM (Dw98+)


Yes, it was. She's just pulling this BS now to show how she's down with the struggle. IOW, it's a petty attempt to stay relevant.

Look, I live in an area heavily populated by retirees. Every single time I got to the store for anything, be it
Publix, Walgreens, whatever, I'm asked by **multiple** people to help, not because I look like an employee (and hauling two kids with me in my cart would disabuse anyone of that notion very quickly anyway), but because I'm young and can see and/or reach whatever it is they're looking at. It's really no frigging big deal, and I don't mind helping people if they need it.

Which really just goes to show that all the crap she and her husband are always spouting in their public personas about being "my brother's keeper" is just a steaming pile of political bull. They're hypocrites, as we all know, and this is just in keeping with their real personalities.

Posted by: Mandy P., lurking lurker who lurks at December 17, 2014 07:49 PM (KkVB6)

384 Asking me to help anyone is racist.

Posted by: Michelle Obama at December 17, 2014 07:50 PM (53CCM)

385 They say your get the Leadership your deserve? Oh G-D what have I done to deserve this? Ya do know my name is not Job right?

Posted by: Nevergiveup at December 17, 2014 07:50 PM (nzKvP)

386 Tall shelves are RAAAAAACISSSSST!!!!!!!

Posted by: torabora at December 17, 2014 07:50 PM (9dSsW)

387 380 Probably a good time to remember that Michelle's childhood BFF was Jesse Jackson's daughter, and the family even joked that she was over at their home so often that she was Jesse's unofficial daughter.
Posted by: Lizzy at December 17, 2014 07:49 PM (ABcz/)


More irony and truth in that statement than you may realize, old girl.

Posted by: J.J. Sefton at December 17, 2014 07:50 PM (CMkNk)

388 I'm trying to remember that other bullshit story spun by some other member of The Perpetually Aggrieved Group. Something about being offended over a fcking purse or some shit.

Posted by: Kraken at December 17, 2014 07:51 PM (5+mPY)

389 some time ago I was in the grocery store and some guy was rifling through the milk moving stuff around and making a huge mess. when he was done half were knocked over and everything was a mess. he was walking away and I said "hey, who makes a mess like that and walks away." he came back and five minutes later everything was fine. I was really proud of myself for standing up for our little corner grocer then I realized he was not a customer but an employee.

Posted by: n at December 17, 2014 07:51 PM (iBXmZ)

390 I'd ask her to point me toward the barf bags.

Posted by: Feh at December 17, 2014 07:51 PM (g/zj9)

391 One things for sure: she's rape proof.

Posted by: torabora at December 17, 2014 07:51 PM (9dSsW)

392 Yeah, I always look for the person with a hat and big sunglasses surrounded by a bunch of guys in black suits in sunglasses talking to their wrists to ask for some TP on the top shelf.

As you would suspect, I haven't had any TP in a very, very long time.

Posted by: Clutch Cargo at December 17, 2014 07:51 PM (sH832)

393 To JJ, CBD, and all of our Jewish Horde (Oh, I hope I get this right)
Chag Chanukah Sameach!

Posted by: Old Blue at December 17, 2014 07:51 PM (vVSOO)

394 Just had this conversation:

My kid: We learned in class that Asian Americans have the highest average incomes.
Me (while folding clothes) : RACISM!
My kid: and that Asian Americans have the highest graduation rate
Me ( throwing a shirt at her to fold): OPPRESSION!

Kid collapses in laughter.

Just a typical parenting moment here LOL

Posted by: @votermom at December 17, 2014 07:51 PM (cbfNE)

395 On which aisle did find that sexy belt?

Posted by: wth at December 17, 2014 07:51 PM (wAQA5)

396 OK.... Sea story time...

Back in 1979, we did not have 'civilian clothes' Liberty in the USN for our early schools...

So... being stationed in San Diego, me and a bud jumped a bus to Disneyland, in the old White Uniform... white shirt... white pants, Combination Cap....

We were standing by the Marc Twain Riverboat when a Woman came up and asked us for directions...

Me and him still laugh about it...

Posted by: The Big Bad Wolfy at December 17, 2014 07:52 PM (f0pWu)

397 Pet peave, I always hold the door open for people male or female as it was how I was raised. When they walk through and don't say a word I say your welcome. The looks are priceless. Which makes me wonder, do all those raycisss think I am a door man?

Posted by: Minnfidel at December 17, 2014 07:52 PM (bXdYS)

398 334
That's why she's pissed. She wants to look she's going incognito, but wants to be recognized anyway. That's when you know you've made it and you're "somebody".
*takes off sunglasses* Why yes, it IS me. How on earth did you know?!"

Posted by: otho at December 17, 2014 07:38 PM (tBSrv)



It's funny, Bob Dylan is the exact opposite. He's one of the most famous people on Earth, and I've read countless stories about him going out in public incognito. He likes to get out of his bubble now and then to observe people and be treated like a regular person.

The last thing he wants to hear is "OMG, it's you!

Even when he got picked up by the police in New Jersey as a possible vagrant a few years ago, he didn't pull the "Do you know who I am?" card. The cop said he was very nice and cooperative.

Posted by: rickl at December 17, 2014 07:52 PM (sdi6R)

399 This set him off. He raised hell and accused the waiter of handing me the check because I had two legs. I tired of him relatively quickly. He was tough to hang out with.

Posted by: Trunk Monkey at December 17, 2014 07:43 PM (jucos)

I worked at an auto parts store right out of highschool for a few months. We had some sale on oil going on, and it was soo cheap that the limit was 5 bottles of oil per customer per visit. Of course people were coming back 3 and 4 times a day. A guy who was disabled and using crutches came up to me and said "look, I'm disabled and have a really hard time getting around, and I can't play this game of coming back every few hours to get oil like everybody else can, so can I just get 10 bottles?" Before I could answer, the boss overheard the guy and said "sure, take what you need".


I go to hold the door open for him on his way out and the dude goes nuke on me saying shit like " just because I'm crippled doesn't mean everybody has to do stuff for me, I can open my own door"

Fucking unreal.

Posted by: Berserker-Dragonheads Division at December 17, 2014 07:52 PM (FMbng)

400 335 329 Posted by: (not JJ) Sefton at December 17, 2014 07:37 PM (wi0rD)


Pardon me, but, uh, can you find a nic that is not so close to mine?

Posted by: J.J. Sefton at December 17, 2014 07:38 PM (CMkNk)

Hey buddy, no need to get chippy!

Posted by: Kraken at December 17, 2014 07:52 PM (5+mPY)

401 I thought I was in K-mart after seeing your husband's blue lip special--and stop playing keep-away with the Chapstick, you gangly nightmare of Lovecraft.

Posted by: Honeyed Words for Homely Birds at December 17, 2014 07:52 PM (KG1MP)

402 388 I'm trying to remember that other bullshit story spun by some other member of The Perpetually Aggrieved Group. Something about being offended over a fcking purse or some shit.
Wasn't Orca going off about shopping for purses in Switzerland?

Posted by: Brave Sir Robin at December 17, 2014 07:52 PM (5buP8)

403 Hey, you people on twitface. I see some people following 2k people. I'm following 50. I get home and there's 894 new tweets. Do people actually read all this stuff? It's like looking into the ONT in the morning.

Posted by: toby928(C) at December 17, 2014 07:53 PM (rwI+c)

404 Posted by: Xavier at December 17, 2014 07:46 PM (RHLb7)
------------------
I would've put my foot on his chair and gently shoved his ass right back out the door.


It never fails - whenever I'm at HD or Lowe's getting supplies, someone will ask for advice. I not only don't mind, I take it as a compliment ("this guy knows what he's doing").
What I get disappointed in is the fact that I can give better advice to a homeowner than their electrical aisle specialist.

I know what's in stock, where it is, and how to use it. Deiondre, not so much.

Posted by: shredded chi at December 17, 2014 07:53 PM (n7tOS)

405 Lady, you don't need any bug spray. Just put those panties in the window.

Posted by: Target customer at December 17, 2014 07:53 PM (0FSuD)

406 Excuse me ma'am, where can I find the Poligrip?

Posted by: wth at December 17, 2014 07:54 PM (wAQA5)

407 >>Something about being offended over a fcking purse or some shit.

Oprah claimed the sales clerk at a Swiss boutique refused to show her a $20,000 purse.


Posted by: Lizzy at December 17, 2014 07:54 PM (ABcz/)

408 Excuse me Miss, What aisle is the humility in?

Posted by: Minnfidel at December 17, 2014 07:54 PM (bXdYS)

409 403 Posted by: toby928(C) at December 17, 2014 07:53 PM (rwI+c)

I read a bunch...

I follow ~800 or so

Posted by: Sven S Blade a.k.a. El Assassin@sven10077 at December 17, 2014 07:55 PM (/4AZU)

410 We were standing by the Marc Twain Riverboat when a Woman came up and asked us for directions...

Surprised she didn't ask you to share some of your Cracker Jacks.

Posted by: Thin veneer of civility at December 17, 2014 07:55 PM (XzRw1)

411 393 To JJ, CBD, and all of our Jewish Horde (Oh, I hope I get this right)
Chag Chanukah Sameach!
Posted by: Old Blue at December 17, 2014 07:51 PM (vVSOO)


Works for me. Thanks!

Posted by: J.J. Sefton at December 17, 2014 07:55 PM (CMkNk)

412 >>> Posted by: (not JJ) Sefton at December 17, 2014 07:37 PM (wi0rD)

Hey, don't do that. His nic first.

Posted by: L, elle at December 17, 2014 07:55 PM (2x3L+)

413 Michelle's childhood BFF was Jesse Jackson's daughter, and the family even joked that she was over at their home so often that she was Jesse's unofficial daughter.


So, that's the secret to her buff man arms?

Rubbing Lotion on Jesse's Thighs?

Posted by: garrett at December 17, 2014 07:55 PM (OrQba)

414 Read the lady's Princeton Thesis. Besides her obvious problems with grammar, the woman has a bigger chip on her shoulder than Jesus on the Via Dolorosa.

Here's what Christopher Hitchens had to say about M Obama's Princeton Thesis, "To describe it as hard to read would be a mistake; the thesis cannot be "read" at all, in the strict sense of the verb. This is because it wasn't written in any known language."

Posted by: bonhomme at December 17, 2014 07:55 PM (jhqr1)

415 MOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO shel

Posted by: seamrog at December 17, 2014 07:56 PM (4OQKP)

416 400 Hey buddy, no need to get chippy!
Posted by: Kraken at December 17, 2014 07:52 PM (5+mPY)


Quoi? Moi?!

Posted by: J.J. Sefton at December 17, 2014 07:56 PM (CMkNk)

417 Address her as "Old Man" from behind her back.

Posted by: Dennis the Peasant at December 17, 2014 07:57 PM (JO9+V)

418 414 Here's what Christopher Hitchens had to say about M Obama's Princeton Thesis, "To describe it as hard to read would be a mistake; the thesis cannot be "read" at all, in the strict sense of the verb. This is because it wasn't written in any known language."
Posted by: bonhomme at December 17, 2014 07:55 PM (jhqr1)


Please tell me there is a link!

Posted by: J.J. Sefton at December 17, 2014 07:57 PM (CMkNk)

419 336Somewhat off-topic, it cracks me up when people try to describe a black person and describe everything but his/her race, even if the person they're describing is one of the few black people around and it would be so much easier to say something like, the tall bald black dude.
Posted by: chique d'afrique (the artist formerly known as african chick) at December 17, 2014 07:38 PM (r+7wo)
===

Hah, I know what you mean. I think the stated rationale is that one doesn't want to "reduce someone to their skin color"...and I can sort of see that argument from the context of a certain mentality...

But the catch for me is always that it seems so disingenuous, like there's something so unmitigably wrong with noticing skin color, or that such an identification somehow boxes that person into all sort of stereotypes and negative social associations that apparently must --MUST-- attend any reference to skin color for any reason whatsoever.

Quite honestly, that's the main reason I hate PC stuff: It makes it HARDER for me to treat normally those people who are different from me in ways that the PC police want me to notice, since to comply with their rules I have to go through all sorts of social contortions to pretend that I haven't noticed those differences.

Posted by: JeremiadBullfrog at December 17, 2014 07:57 PM (Y5I9o)

420 I like Dylan a lot, and would love to have a beer or whatever, but my God, what a personal life that guy has.

Posted by: Feh at December 17, 2014 07:57 PM (g/zj9)

421 Honey, you need to head to the makeup aisle. Leave some for the rest of us while you're over there.

Posted by: Target shopper at December 17, 2014 07:57 PM (XzRw1)

422 Michelle, "What did she take me for , a common working person@!"

"or someone taller than her!"

no it couldn't be that it must be because i'm black

Posted by: willow at December 17, 2014 07:57 PM (nqBYe)

423 417 Address her as "Old Man" from behind her back.
Posted by: Dennis the Peasant at December 17, 2014 07:57 PM (JO9+V)

Meh. Call her Stymie to her face

Posted by: J.J. Sefton at December 17, 2014 07:57 PM (CMkNk)

424 Excuse me ma'am, I saw the No Panty Lines section over on aisle 3.

Posted by: wth at December 17, 2014 07:58 PM (wAQA5)

425
JJ, do you know Robert Evans, too?

Posted by: Soothsayer's Imaginary Home For Incorrigible Boys & Girls at December 17, 2014 07:58 PM (sattt)

426 When I go to BestBuy, particularly when I worked as a NASA contractor in wore mission polo shirts; I would constantly get asked to provide assistance. I didn't think it was racist. How little did I know...

Posted by: Leland at December 17, 2014 07:58 PM (3R7WS)

427 425 JJ, do you know Robert Evans, too?
Posted by: Soothsayer's Imaginary Home For Incorrigible Boys & Girls at December 17, 2014 07:58 PM (sattt)


Nope. Never met the man.

Posted by: J.J. Sefton at December 17, 2014 07:58 PM (CMkNk)

428 I usually try to ask the short women to reach stuff on high shelves for me...


... makes it waaaay easier to snap the upskirt shots with my cell phone.

Posted by: Bill Clinton at December 17, 2014 07:59 PM (qfd4W)

429 Squatter's Rights! Come down from your lofty heights and share in commoners' delights. i have a reservation for two in the rape tent with a view.

Posted by: Occupy Seton Hall at December 17, 2014 07:59 PM (KG1MP)

430 416 400 Hey buddy, no need to get chippy!
Posted by: Kraken at December 17, 2014 07:52 PM (5+mPY)


Quoi? Moi?!

Posted by: J.J. Sefton at December 17, 2014 07:56 PM (CMkNk)
Just funnin', nic jumping is really not good form. Says so in the style sheet, what I misplaced the other day.

Posted by: Kraken at December 17, 2014 07:59 PM (5+mPY)

431 The point of PC is to humiliate you and put you at odds with your feelings and perceptions.

Posted by: Feh at December 17, 2014 07:59 PM (g/zj9)

432 I'm trying to remember that other bullshit story spun by some other member of The Perpetually Aggrieved Group. Something about being offended over a fcking purse or some shit.

-
That was Okra Windy in Switzerland.

Posted by: The Great White Snark at December 17, 2014 07:59 PM (zAK3w)

433 Maybe Michelle's thesis was written in Klingon, then translated into English.

Posted by: Big Fat Meanie at December 17, 2014 07:59 PM (Dhdnu)

434 Be an asshole to everyone at all times.
It's the only way to make sure you aren't racist.

Posted by: wooga at December 17, 2014 08:00 PM (OuLBr)

435 chag sameach, chaverim.

Posted by: willow at December 17, 2014 08:00 PM (nqBYe)

436 Excuse me ma'am, could you reach that frying pan? Please don't hit me.

Posted by: wth at December 17, 2014 08:00 PM (wAQA5)

437 Apropos of nothing, I started watching Guardians of the Galaxy late last night and I was being so entertained, I had to stop after twenty minutes because I don't won't to waste the entertainment value by being sleepy.

Toby recommends!

Posted by: toby928(C) at December 17, 2014 08:01 PM (rwI+c)

438 422 Michelle, "What did she take me for , a common working person@!"

"or someone taller than her!"

no it couldn't be that it must be because i'm black
Posted by: willow at December 17, 2014 07:57 PM (nqBYe)
First time I saw her, kinda had her pegged for a working girl.

Posted by: Kraken at December 17, 2014 08:01 PM (5+mPY)

439 433 Maybe Michelle's thesis was written in Klingon, then translated into English.
Posted by: Big Fat Meanie at December 17, 2014 07:59 PM (Dhdnu)


One of my top 5 "Frasier" episodes, when Frasier says the blessing at his son's bar mitzvah, but the guy who tutored him did it in Klingon to get back at him.

Posted by: J.J. Sefton at December 17, 2014 08:01 PM (CMkNk)

440 Please tell me there is a link!

Posted by: J.J. Sefton at December 17, 2014 07:57 PM (CMkNk)


It's here:
http://goo.gl/Pv0JWI

Posted by: bonhomme at December 17, 2014 08:02 PM (jhqr1)

441 I used to work in a hardware store. One day an very very nice looking woman walked in all dolled up, she looked pretty well to do based on her clothing, obviously her husband had sent her to the store. She looked at me and said, I need cock, where is it? My first inclination was of course to tell her that if she didn't know where it was located I couldn't help her. Not wanting to get fired I asked her what kind of "cock" she wanted and what size?

Posted by: Minnfidel at December 17, 2014 08:02 PM (bXdYS)

442 Excuse me maam, but can you direct me to the aisle that has the $600 sneakers?

Ace, try this variant for getting help from a gal at the grocery store --

"Did you know that the ancient Peruvians used coriander to enlarge their breasts?"

She will soon find it for you, and buy a bottle for herself.

Posted by: GnuBreed at December 17, 2014 08:02 PM (BywSN)

443 Young lady, I have a bad back. Could you reach that can of peas on the bottom shelf for me? No, not that one, the one way in the back ... yes. ..

Posted by: toby928(C) at December 17, 2014 08:02 PM (rwI+c)

444 Excuse me ma'am, we can't see what we're doing here. Could you move out of the light?

Posted by: wth at December 17, 2014 08:02 PM (wAQA5)

445 "New rich" kinda nailed it. I know plenty of smart black women with tact and class. They're all depressed.

Posted by: Feh at December 17, 2014 08:02 PM (g/zj9)

446 ok i'm going to go ahead and admit, i didn't understand why someone asking me to help them reach something makes me whitish or Tan-ish
although i think it would indicate i'm short though.

Posted by: willow at December 17, 2014 08:03 PM (nqBYe)

447 Now I want to watch the Seinfeld where Jerry tries to date Elaine's Native American Friend.

Posted by: garrett at December 17, 2014 08:03 PM (OrQba)

448 *asking

Posted by: willow at December 17, 2014 08:03 PM (nqBYe)

449 Under this rubric I too am an African American.












A very, very white African American.

Posted by: typo dynamofo at December 17, 2014 08:04 PM (IVgIK)

450
First time I saw her, kinda had her pegged for a working girl.>>>

You spelled Tranny wrong.

Posted by: Swatara at December 17, 2014 08:04 PM (V8aMM)

451 437 Apropos of nothing, I started watching Guardians of the Galaxy late last night and I was being so entertained, I had to stop after twenty minutes because I don't won't to waste the entertainment value by being sleepy.

Toby recommends!
Posted by: toby928(C) at December 17, 2014 08:01 PM (rwI+c)
Is that the one with the smart-ass raccoon cartoon character? From the trailer, it looked like "Over the Hedge" has more gravitas.

Posted by: Kraken at December 17, 2014 08:04 PM (5+mPY)

452 Notice how we don't hear any anecdotes about their time in college.

Or when the Occupant was an Illinois Senator and she was at the University of Chicago Hospitals.

(where at 32 she pulled down over 200k in a job that disappeared when she left)

Yeah let's hear some stories of racism from them times, hmmm?

Posted by: Bitter Clinger and All That at December 17, 2014 08:04 PM (RZzX3)

453 Honey, that "hair relaxer" you be looking for? Aisle 6, next to the lie and magnum Trojans.

Posted by: Target customer at December 17, 2014 08:04 PM (0FSuD)

454 First time I saw her, kinda had her pegged for a working girl.
Posted by: Kraken at December 17, 2014 08:01 PM (5+mPY)

Tranny hooker look...

Posted by: MikeH at December 17, 2014 08:04 PM (4OZqu)

455 Maybe Michelle's thesis was written in Klingon, then translated into English.

I'm too lazy to Google right now, but there was an amusing website that would put text through multiple Google translate cycles. What came out was hilariously bad.

Posted by: bonhomme at December 17, 2014 08:04 PM (jhqr1)

456 Frasier couldn't summon the nerve to tell off Dr. Mary, which led to Niles' near heart attack.

Posted by: Tossed Salads and Scrambled Egg Whites at December 17, 2014 08:05 PM (KG1MP)

457 Figures you'd be afraid to ask for help. Why should it be different from everything else?

Try this: "You look like you know what you're doing - where is the farking coriander?"


Posted by: Adjoran at December 17, 2014 08:05 PM (QIQ6j)

458 Is that the one with the smart-ass raccoon cartoon
character? From the trailer, it looked like "Over the Hedge" has more
gravitas.

Posted by: Kraken at December 17, 2014 08:04 PM (5+mPY)



It's not supposed to be a magnus opus ffs, it's just an enjoyable way to spend a couple of hours is all. Sheesh.

Posted by: GGE of the Moron Horde, NC Chapter at December 17, 2014 08:05 PM (6fyGz)

459 "How much for a gram?"

Posted by: otho at December 17, 2014 08:06 PM (tBSrv)

460 Posted by: Minnfidel at December 17, 2014 08:02 PM (bXdYS)

Now you're doing Opie and Anthony skits.

Posted by: Bitter Clinger and All That at December 17, 2014 08:06 PM (RZzX3)

461 >>(where at 32 she pulled down over 200k in a job that disappeared when she left)

$300+K and her boss was Valerie Jarrett. Part of her job was finding ways to get the riffraff transferred to a different hospital. Irony is lost on these people.

Posted by: Lizzy at December 17, 2014 08:06 PM (ABcz/)

462 Cool kids shop at Costco. Workers there are really nice, too.

Posted by: Feh at December 17, 2014 08:06 PM (g/zj9)

463 Check cashing? You'll need to go to Wal Mart. We not taking your check.


EBT card? OK, you good girl.

Posted by: Target customer at December 17, 2014 08:06 PM (0FSuD)

464 People "void" of color don't understand and don't recognize the racism we do. It is possible to feel good about helping someone and yet recognize how ignorant they are because they only see people of color as someone to help them get something or do something. This sort of thing happens to us everyday. Couldn't tell you how many times I have been "dressed up", pushing a cart and with my child and still a person "void" of color will ask that dreaded question Can you help me? Do you work here? Especially at Wal-Mart and every wal-mart employee wears a blue smock emblazoned with the words Wal-mart in white. So Ms. Salgado don't work Mrs. Michelle Obama, The First Lady has got her story straight.

Posted by: Gail Felder Gilkey at December 17, 2014 08:06 PM (WL/ot)

465 For any Canadians that may care, "Corner Gas: The Movie" is playing on CTV tonight.

Posted by: Stateless Infidel at December 17, 2014 08:06 PM (AC0lD)

466 Are you sure this was at Target and not Bed, Bat'Leth and Beyond.

Posted by: garrett at December 17, 2014 08:06 PM (OrQba)

467 One time my employer raised my salary by only 150 percent. Racism!

Posted by: Moochelle at December 17, 2014 08:07 PM (nFdGS)

468 Jordan presents draft of resolution on Palestinian state to UN

Kerry says US has "no problem" with resolution.

Up next on credo's agenda: To fuck Israel but good

Posted by: Nevergiveup at December 17, 2014 08:08 PM (nzKvP)

469 I know what you mean, girlfriend.

Went shopping last week and some beeotch asked me where the corn was! Like, just because I look like the Mazola model?!

Posted by: Fauxahauntas at December 17, 2014 08:08 PM (uSAVP)

470 440 Posted by: bonhomme at December 17, 2014 08:02 PM (jhqr1)


I was looking for something humorous, but instead I got depressed.

But thanks.

Posted by: J.J. Sefton at December 17, 2014 08:08 PM (CMkNk)

471 440 Posted by: bonhomme at December 17, 2014 08:02 PM (jhqr1)


I was looking for something humorous, but instead I got depressed.

But thanks.

Posted by: J.J. Sefton at December 17, 2014 08:08 PM (CMkNk)

472 Now you're doing Opie and Anthony skits.


Posted by: Bitter Clinger and All That at December 17, 2014 08:06 PM (RZzX3)
.........I've never listened to them so sorry, but I am sure the look on my face was priceless. There was no L in the caulk. I knew what she meant, but it took me back for a moment. Made my day laughing about it too.

Posted by: Minnfidel at December 17, 2014 08:09 PM (bXdYS)

473 450 You spelled Tranny wrong.
Posted by: Swatara at December 17, 2014 08:04 PM (V8aMM)


That's the sequel to "Liberty and Tyranny." "Liberty and Tranny."

Posted by: J.J. Sefton at December 17, 2014 08:10 PM (CMkNk)

474 451 Posted by: Kraken at December 17, 2014 08:04 PM (5+mPY)

Don't insult my cousin Rocket....

there ain't nobody like we but we...

and I am groot.

Posted by: Sven S Blade a.k.a. El Assassin@sven10077 at December 17, 2014 08:11 PM (/4AZU)

475 Jerry Pournelle had a small stroke.

http://tinyurl.com/onfh9ug

Probably Pixy caused

Posted by: DaveA at December 17, 2014 08:11 PM (DL2i+)

476 One time my employer raised my salary by only 150 percent. Racism!

Posted by: Moochelle at December 17, 2014 08:07 PM
..........Well you're supposedly a woman too so a dude would have gotten even more #waronwomenz

Posted by: Minnfidel at December 17, 2014 08:12 PM (bXdYS)

477 That's funny, they didn't ask Michelle to take anything off the shelf at the University of Chicago Medical Center.

Posted by: Uncle Bob at December 17, 2014 08:12 PM (3GFMN)

478 I like helping people when they ask nicely. I was trained to enjoy this by my father who asking nicely was not in his wheelhouse. Six kids no time for that shit and I appreciate how much easier my life is now because of all the life lessons he taught me growing up.

Posted by: Swatara at December 17, 2014 08:12 PM (V8aMM)

479 Translation:

I am your queen.

Talking to me like I'm a commoner is racism because I'm black.

Fuck you Michele. Get my fucking juicebox.

Posted by: eleven at December 17, 2014 08:14 PM (MDgS8)

480 477 That's funny, they didn't ask Michelle to take anything off the shelf at the University of Chicago Medical Center.
Posted by: Uncle Bob at December 17, 2014 08:12 PM (3GFMN)


Potassium, 60 mili equivalent should do it.

Posted by: J.J. Sefton at December 17, 2014 08:14 PM (CMkNk)

481 Happy independence-day, JJ Sefton, ngu and c.

Just think, this could have been an annual celebration of buggery, lame street festivals and worship of grandiose faux-hellenic despots but noooo. The Jews had to ruin everything again

Posted by: boulder terlit hobo at December 17, 2014 08:14 PM (AVEe1)

482 It's not supposed to be a magnus opus ffs, it's just an enjoyable way to spend a couple of hours is all. Sheesh.
Posted by: GGE of the Moron Horde, NC Chapter at December 17, 2014 08:05 PM (6fyGz)

Aw hell, don't get me wrong. I'll watch anything. I have stunted taste. I even watched "The Lone Ranger", you know, the one with the aging actor walking around with a dead bird on his head, acting foolish? That sort of lacked gravitas too, some said. I just may wait until BluRay for "Guardians of the Galaxy".

Posted by: Kraken at December 17, 2014 08:14 PM (5+mPY)

483 Oh, the life of the perpetually offended. I'm tall, and I've been asked by short, usually elderly, women if I can reach something for them on a high shelf. What's wrong with that? I'm happy to help, but then I'm not an entitled bitch who is looking for racism behind every blade of grass.

Posted by: Guns Gardens and Yarn at December 17, 2014 08:15 PM (/K1AJ)

484 This was the Target in Alexandria, VA. I shopped there when I lived in VA. There is no way people didn't know who she was. Impossible, when so many of the people in N VA are in some way employed by the govt or a related industry.
********

Hey! I shopped there too. Yep, bullshit. I thought she was out in the boonies or something.

Posted by: Lea at December 17, 2014 08:15 PM (/bd0t)

485

464 People "void" of color don't understand and don't recognize the racism we do. It is possible to feel good about helping someone and yet recognize how ignorant they are because they only see people of color as someone to help them get something or do something. This sort of thing happens to us everyday


Posted by: Gail Felder Gilkey at December 17, 2014 08:06 PM (WL/ot)



What?

Posted by: grammie winger, joy to the world at December 17, 2014 08:16 PM (3B+O8)

486 arrogant Dem's demanding respect, because they don't earn it

like "call me Senator" Boxer, wanting to hear her title from a general

Posted by: Illiniwek at December 17, 2014 08:16 PM (MXSv3)

487 Posted by: Gail Felder Gilkey at December 17, 2014 08:06 PM (WL/ot)

Actually, no one is "void" of color as they would be transparent.

The color "white" is the reflection of all wavelengths of light.

The color "black" is the absorption of all wavelengths.

But then "color" is a misnomer when speaking of the hue of someone's skin. And is only a very loose and inaccurate term of phrase for use in language.

There are many stories of implied/assumed racism and they are not limited to only one racial or ethnic group.

Posted by: Bitter Clinger and All That at December 17, 2014 08:16 PM (RZzX3)

488 What aisle is the Mad Dog 20/20 in? Asking for a friend.

Posted by: Minnfidel at December 17, 2014 08:17 PM (bXdYS)

489 Gail Felder Gilkey

just an average post by our workin' joe

Posted by: boulder terlit hobo at December 17, 2014 08:17 PM (AVEe1)

490 I've asked women for help in a supermarket several times.


They have without fail been only too pleased to help.

Women are social critters after-all.

Posted by: eleven at December 17, 2014 08:18 PM (MDgS8)

491 Say, would you happen to know where the beard cleaner is? Or, as you probably refer to it, the soap?

Posted by: ManWithNoParty, unperson from Free Market Jesus Paradise at December 17, 2014 08:18 PM (z2f1n)

492 481 Happy independence-day, JJ Sefton, ngu and c.

Just think, this could have been an annual celebration of buggery, lame street festivals and worship of grandiose faux-hellenic despots but noooo. The Jews had to ruin everything again
Posted by: boulder terlit hobo at December 17, 2014 08:14 PM (AVEe1)


Oh dreidl, dreidl, dreidl,
I made it out of matzo,
And when it's dry and ready,
I'll give it to a schvar . . .

Posted by: J.J. Sefton at December 17, 2014 08:18 PM (CMkNk)

493 I have been asked many times to help some one in a store. I now know they did that because they thought inferior to themselves.

I have been wounded.

Posted by: Jack at December 17, 2014 08:19 PM (53CCM)

494 Say, would you happen to know where the beard cleaner is? Or, as you probably refer to it, the soap?


Ouch.

Posted by: Grey Fox at December 17, 2014 08:19 PM (09/yf)

495

Happy Hanukkah , Jew friends.

Posted by: grammie winger, joy to the world at December 17, 2014 08:19 PM (3B+O8)

496 Can you tell me where the exit is?

Posted by: Jay Cutler at December 17, 2014 08:19 PM (Dhdnu)

497 Well it is trivial, but it's a good glimpse into the life of Moochelle and her attitude. So apparently this mystery lady didn't also notice a bunch of secret service guys around her? Sure.

Posted by: Minnfidel at December 17, 2014 08:20 PM (bXdYS)

498 Probably been mentioned numerous times by now but she actually played this up a year or two ago being a cutesy type story.

But now it's racist.

Posted by: Kenway at December 17, 2014 08:20 PM (xeTkh)

499 Happy Hannukah from the Land of Misfit Dreidels!

Posted by: Hermie the Dentist at December 17, 2014 08:21 PM (Dhdnu)

500 Yes, that morning after pill is in the pharmacy.

Posted by: Target customer at December 17, 2014 08:21 PM (0FSuD)

501 You know, it was like asking Dean Wormer's wife about cucumbers.

Posted by: Minnfidel at December 17, 2014 08:21 PM (bXdYS)

502 I have been asked many times to help some one in a store. I now know they did that because they thought inferior to themselves. >>>

Maybe me knowing I am

Posted by: Swatara at December 17, 2014 08:21 PM (V8aMM)

503 Ever notice how anecdotal evidence is usually a lie? Or at least a tall tale.

Humans love to tell stories.

Even bad stories.

Posted by: Bitter Clinger and All That at December 17, 2014 08:21 PM (RZzX3)

504 Kenway : I'm wondering if the Obamas are suffering a slow-motion descent into madness.

Posted by: boulder terlit hobo at December 17, 2014 08:22 PM (AVEe1)

505 g'early evenin', 'rons

Posted by: AltonJackson at December 17, 2014 08:22 PM (KCxzN)

506 I hope someone reads this thread to Michelle, maybe she'll realize what a corn hole she is. Naaaahhh.

Posted by: Target shopper at December 17, 2014 08:23 PM (XzRw1)

507 6 The Obama's are what my family would have called 'New Rich.'

It is not a compliment.
Posted by: Jinx the Cat at December 17, 2014 06:49 PM (l3vZN)


My family would have called them 'a basket of assholes'

Posted by: model_1066 at December 17, 2014 08:23 PM (kCxMY)

508 Happy Hannukah from the Land of Misfit Dreidels!

Posted by: Hermie the Dentist at December 17, 2014 08:21 PM

Nobody wants to play with a Hymie in the box!

Posted by: Hymie at December 17, 2014 08:23 PM (bXdYS)

509 504 Kenway : I'm wondering if the Obamas are suffering a slow-motion descent into madness.
Posted by: boulder terlit hobo at December 17, 2014 08:22 PM (AVEe1)
It's all that champagne swillin' outta lead goblets.

Posted by: Kraken at December 17, 2014 08:23 PM (5+mPY)

510 502 started a being superior joke decided against it but accidently hit post vs reload.

Posted by: Swatara at December 17, 2014 08:23 PM (V8aMM)

511 495 Happy Hanukkah , Jew friends.
Posted by: grammie winger, joy to the world at December 17, 2014 08:19 PM (3B+O


Why does that sound bad, "Jew friends?"

Sadly, the word Jew is an accurate descriptor that has been turned into an epithet.

But, thanks Grammie. For real!

Posted by: J.J. Sefton at December 17, 2014 08:23 PM (CMkNk)

512 That's funny, they didn't ask Michelle to take anything off the shelf at the University of Chicago Medical Center.
Posted by: Uncle Bob at December 17, 2014 08:12 PM (3GFMN)

No, they just asked her to move the poor patients to Cook County Hospital like she was some kind of orderly.

Posted by: Emmett Milbarge at December 17, 2014 08:24 PM (nFdGS)

513 Kenway : I'm wondering if the Obamas are suffering a slow-motion descent into madness.
Posted by: boulder terlit hobo at December 17, 2014 08:22 PM (AVEe1)

******

I'm thinking they both took a jump off of the madness high dive long ago, but by both being Sociopaths with Narcissistic Personality Disorder, They were able to hide it until they no longer felt it necessary.

Posted by: ManWithNoParty, unperson from Free Market Jesus Paradise at December 17, 2014 08:25 PM (5kNXS)

514 Michelle Obama associates working retail with race?

Why?

Posted by: Dustin at December 17, 2014 08:25 PM (a7sQX)

515
Moo-chelle,
You smell,
Do us all a favor and go to hell,
My Moo-chelle . . .

Posted by: J.J. Sefton at December 17, 2014 08:25 PM (CMkNk)

516 "Yeah I know they're in alphabetical order . . . ."

You're no help.

Posted by: 47% at December 17, 2014 08:26 PM (sDapq)

517 Yes, you can buy the pill for your daughters, just say it's for you.



Everyone will believe that, ha ha.

Posted by: Target customer at December 17, 2014 08:26 PM (0FSuD)

518 Why does that sound bad, "Jew friends?"

Sadly, the word Jew is an accurate descriptor that has been turned into an epithet.

But, thanks Grammie. For real!
Posted by: J.J. Sefton at December 17, 2014 08:23 PM (CMkNk)

I sure she didn't mean to offend jew

Posted by: MikeH at December 17, 2014 08:26 PM (4OZqu)

519
Excuse me miss, but do you know anything about birthin' babies?

Posted by: J.J. Sefton at December 17, 2014 08:26 PM (CMkNk)

520 If I had the media kissing my ass 24/7 I'd turn into a monster too.

Posted by: eleven at December 17, 2014 08:26 PM (MDgS8)

521 Posted by: J.J. Sefton at December 17, 2014 08:23 PM (CMkNk)



It did sound kinda bad, didn't it? I hope you know I love you. Well, not love-love. You know. More like,- like a lot.

I'll stop now.

Posted by: grammie winger, joy to the world at December 17, 2014 08:26 PM (3B+O8)

522 511 495 Happy Han...
Why does that sound bad, "Jew friends?"

Sadly, the word Jew is an accurate descriptor that has been turned into an epithet.

But, thanks Grammie. For real!
Posted by: J.J. Sefton at December 17, 2014 08:23 PM (CMkNk)
I think Martin Luther kinda spoiled things. Ducks. Runs away.

Posted by: Kraken at December 17, 2014 08:26 PM (5+mPY)

523 isn't it just as reasonable to interpret the situation as not racist, that is evidence that people are not racist? Shes tall and thus can reach high things. Person asks her for help b.c. she is tall ignoring the fact that shes a black woman, who a racist would a)be too proud to ask for help and/or b) would be afraid to ask for help because you know knock out game

Posted by: steve9 at December 17, 2014 08:26 PM (a1ol9)

524 Michelle jumped the racism shark. Comments on yahoo were ridiculing how only a self-absorbed elitist would consider an act of courtesy racist.

Posted by: ever at December 17, 2014 08:27 PM (QZdJj)

525 518 I sure she didn't mean to offend jew
Posted by: MikeH at December 17, 2014 08:26 PM (4OZqu)


I know she didn't! I was just having some fun!

Posted by: J.J. Sefton at December 17, 2014 08:27 PM (CMkNk)

526 >>>> But you can get into trouble that way, too. Because if you ask the guy stocking the Coke where the bacon is, he might go, "I don't work here, I work for the Coca-Cola distributing company. And go fuck yourself for that insult, Sirrah!"

This is very funny bc it's true, Ace. I worked at a Safeway, and the Frito Lay guys used to get so indignant at being mistaken for a grocery store employee.

Posted by: L, elle at December 17, 2014 08:27 PM (2x3L+)

527 I even watched "The Lone Ranger", you know, the one
with the aging actor walking around with a dead bird on his head,
acting foolish? That sort of lacked gravitas too, some said. I just may
wait until BluRay for "Guardians of the Galaxy".

Posted by: Kraken at December 17, 2014 08:14 PM (5+mPY)


I actually haven't seen that one, but I did see a presentation on how they built a complete working railroad with two different trains for it.

Posted by: GGE of the Moron Horde, NC Chapter at December 17, 2014 08:27 PM (6fyGz)

528 521 I'll stop now.
Posted by: grammie winger, joy to the world at December 17, 2014 08:26 PM (3B+O


Don't stop on my account!

Posted by: J.J. Sefton at December 17, 2014 08:27 PM (CMkNk)

529 Hey Mooch, where did you get the slacks that gave you that nice mooseknuckle?

Posted by: Chavez the Hugo at December 17, 2014 08:27 PM (ucDmr)

530 Well, damn, now I feel terrible for helping people reach things on the top shelf and holding doors open out of courtesy. All these years I've been a doormat and didn't know it. The next person to ask me, a tall white woman for help, they are getting an earful. Down with the patriarchy!

Posted by: no good deed at December 17, 2014 08:28 PM (w3a0Z)

531 I'm guessing I probably shouldn't say "Happy Hanukkah, Hebe friends", then.

Posted by: rickl at December 17, 2014 08:28 PM (sdi6R)

532 God forbid she should ever do something nice for somebody.
People who practice the Golden Rule are chumps.

Posted by: ALH at December 17, 2014 08:28 PM (btTLZ)

533 507
6 The Obama's are what my family would have called 'New Rich.'



It is not a compliment.

Posted by: Jinx the Cat at December 17, 2014 06:49 PM (l3vZN)





My family would have called them 'a basket of assholes'


My family would call them help. Or long lost "relatives"

Posted by: Nip Sip at December 17, 2014 08:28 PM (0FSuD)

534 525 518 I sure she didn't mean to offend jew
Posted by: MikeH at December 17, 2014 08:26 PM (4OZqu)


I know she didn't! I was just having some fun!

Posted by: J.J. Sefton at December 17, 2014 08:27 PM (CMkNk)

I'm glad Jew know that

Posted by: MikeH at December 17, 2014 08:28 PM (4OZqu)

535 522 I think Martin Luther kinda spoiled things. Ducks. Runs away.
Posted by: Kraken at December 17, 2014 08:26 PM (5+mPY)


"Oh my gawd! I freed the what??!!"

-- from Congress of Wonders, 1968

Posted by: J.J. Sefton at December 17, 2014 08:29 PM (CMkNk)

536 I see the tea party is in meltdown mode over Obama recognizing Cuba. How will this effect anyone's lives?

Posted by: Tea Party meltdown at December 17, 2014 08:29 PM (I3C7c)

537 My family would have called them 'a basket of assholes'

Posted by: model_1066 at December 17, 2014 08:23 PM (kCxMY)



By an odd coincidence...

Posted by: GGE of the Moron Horde, NC Chapter at December 17, 2014 08:29 PM (6fyGz)

538 529 Hey Mooch, where did you get the slacks that gave you that nice mooseknuckle?
Posted by: Chavez the Hugo at December 17, 2014 08:27 PM (ucDmr)


Mooseknuckle?! Is that like a mutated camel toe?

Ugh!

Posted by: J.J. Sefton at December 17, 2014 08:29 PM (CMkNk)

539 529 Hey Mooch, where did you get the slacks that gave you that nice mooseknuckle?
Posted by: Chavez the Hugo at December 17, 2014 08:27 PM (ucDmr)


Mooseknuckle?! Is that like a mutated camel toe?

Ugh!

Posted by: J.J. Sefton at December 17, 2014 08:29 PM (CMkNk)

540 I'm glad Jew know that
Posted by: MikeH at December 17, 2014 08:28 PM (4OZqu)

BTW, Chag Urim Sameach!

Posted by: MikeH at December 17, 2014 08:30 PM (4OZqu)

541 Maybe when she mixed up her pills before the People interview.

Posted by: Kenway at December 17, 2014 08:30 PM (xeTkh)

542 Her trip to Target was staged to begin with to make her somehow real to women voters. She relayed the story on Letterman as a way to seem so down to earth that she was in the detergent aisle. Election over, mission accomplished and now it's not some funny anecdote that's racism!

Posted by: Minnfidel at December 17, 2014 08:30 PM (bXdYS)

543 I know she didn't! I was just having some fun!





Posted by: J.J. Sefton at December 17, 2014 08:27 PM (CMkNk)

So JJ give us gentiles a run down on Chanukah. Do you get gifts every night?
Wife gives BJ on last night? ha ha

Posted by: Nip Sip at December 17, 2014 08:30 PM (0FSuD)

544 I sure she didn't mean to offend jew

Posted by: MikeH at December 17, 2014 08:26 PM


ISWYDT

golf clap

Posted by: AltonJacksonsteinberg at December 17, 2014 08:30 PM (KCxzN)

545 @132 - I'll never forget the ashen, terrified face of a man entering the maw of hell that is Sephora. He kept gawping like the fish out of water he was. He turned to me, a female, in desperation and I said "give me your list and wait right here".

It's called helping each other, Michelle! A lot will be asked of you when Barack is president.

LOL. Poor things - trying to shop for presents for their girlfriends/wives at Sephora! I have daughters, so I have unwillingly become a Sephora expert. I will be there this weekend. If I see any males there, I will ask them if they need help! Geez....Sephora is difficult enough to maneuver as a female.

Posted by: Jen at December 17, 2014 08:31 PM (msAGT)

546 I think Martin Luther kinda spoiled things. Ducks. Runs away.



@: Kraken at December 17, 2014 08:26 PM (5+mPY)
I hope Martin Luther and John Calvin are burning in hell along with their icon Mohamed.

Posted by: Tea Party meltdown at December 17, 2014 08:31 PM (3ysMx)

547 531 I'm guessing I probably shouldn't say "Happy Hanukkah, Hebe friends", then.
Posted by: rickl at December 17, 2014 08:28 PM (sdi6R)


Her Golden Rule means Golden Shower.

Posted by: J.J. Sefton at December 17, 2014 08:31 PM (CMkNk)

548 I3C7c = Hector

Wonder why he's working the night-shift

Posted by: boulder terlit hobo at December 17, 2014 08:31 PM (AVEe1)

549 Mooseknuckle is cameltoe's big sister. And big as in fat, not older.

Posted by: ALH at December 17, 2014 08:31 PM (btTLZ)

550 539: J.J. Exactly.

Posted by: Chavez the Hugo at December 17, 2014 08:31 PM (ucDmr)

551 It's just good to see you still have some energy after a 10 hour shift at the glory hole Hector.

Posted by: Kenway at December 17, 2014 08:31 PM (xeTkh)

552 Would a basket of assholes be raw or fried or something?

Posted by: eleven at December 17, 2014 08:31 PM (MDgS8)

553 I see the tea party is in meltdown mode over Obama recognizing Cuba. How will this effect anyone's lives?


Posted by: Tea Party meltdown at December 17, 2014 08:29 PM
...................Go get my car and a cup of coffee.

Posted by: Minnfidel at December 17, 2014 08:31 PM (bXdYS)

554 Happy Brit Milah jew guys!



too soon?

Posted by: GGE of the Moron Horde, NC Chapter at December 17, 2014 08:32 PM (6fyGz)

555 543 So JJ give us gentiles a run down on Chanukah. Do you get gifts every night?
Wife gives BJ on last night? ha ha
Posted by: Nip Sip at December 17, 2014 08:30 PM (0FSuD)


That would be your wife. 1313 Mockingbird Lane. . .

Posted by: J.J. Sefton at December 17, 2014 08:32 PM (CMkNk)

556
BTW, Chag Urim Sameach!
Posted by: MikeH at December 17, 2014 08:30 PM (4OZqu)


Is that Hebrew for "make me a sammich"?

Posted by: grammie winger, joy to the world at December 17, 2014 08:32 PM (3B+O8)

557 529 Hey Mooch, where did you get the slacks that gave you that nice mooseknuckle?
Posted by: Chavez the Hugo at December 17, 2014 08:27 PM (ucDmr)


Those are not slacks. It's that stuff used as a spray-on liner for pickup truck beds.

Posted by: model_1066 at December 17, 2014 08:32 PM (kCxMY)

558 539 529 Hey Mooch, where did you get the slacks that gave you that nice mooseknuckle?
Posted by: Chavez the Hugo
Mooseknuckle?! Is that like a mutated camel toe?

Ugh!
Posted by: J.J. Sefton at December 17, 2014 08:29 PM (CMkNk)

Curse you, Son of Abraham,,, I, because of my mental... I mean, vivid imagination, will never get that image out of my head!

Posted by: Kraken at December 17, 2014 08:32 PM (5+mPY)

559 I hope Martin Luther and John Calvin are burning in hell along with their icon Mohamed.

ruh roh....

Posted by: eleven at December 17, 2014 08:32 PM (MDgS8)

560 Mooseknuckle is cameltoe's big sister.

A mooseknuckle is what you get when stuff a hipster dude into a pair of skinny jeans. It's just as hideous as it sounds.

Posted by: no good deed at December 17, 2014 08:33 PM (w3a0Z)

561 548 I3C7c = Hector

Wonder why he's working the night-shift
Posted by: boulder terlit hobo at December 17, 2014 08:31 PM (AVEe1)

Not his turn at the glory hole?

Posted by: MikeH at December 17, 2014 08:33 PM (4OZqu)

562 554 Happy Brit Milah jew guys!

too soon?
Posted by: GGE of the Moron Horde, NC Chapter at December 17, 2014 08:32 PM (6fyGz)


8 days.

Posted by: J.J. Sefton at December 17, 2014 08:33 PM (CMkNk)

563 It had to be the impeccably toned arms that we've been reminded so much about.

Posted by: Golfman in NC at December 17, 2014 08:33 PM (wVWRM)

564 Wife gives BJ on last night? ha ha


Posted by: Nip Sip at December 17, 2014 08:30 PM (0FSuD)



You DO know why a bride smiles as she walks down the aisle, right?

Posted by: GGE of the Moron Horde, NC Chapter at December 17, 2014 08:33 PM (6fyGz)

565 Slacks.



I just hate that word.



Slacks.

Posted by: eleven at December 17, 2014 08:33 PM (MDgS8)

566 That would be your wife. 1313 Mockingbird Lane. . .





Posted by: J.J. Sefton at December 17, 2014 08:32 PM (CMkNk)

Only you and I will get that joke. ha ha.

Posted by: Nip Sip at December 17, 2014 08:33 PM (0FSuD)

567 Can someone parse and grok #637 in the Cuba Deal thread? I'm puzzled.

Posted by: Anna Puma (+SmuD) at December 17, 2014 08:33 PM (UtvsI)

568 552 Would a basket of assholes be raw or fried or something?
Posted by: eleven at December 17, 2014 08:31 PM (MDgS

Definitely raw. With something on the side.

Posted by: model_1066 at December 17, 2014 08:34 PM (kCxMY)

569 I give Obama kudos. He really knows how to rile up the tea party crazies. I am enjoying the hysteria over having diplomatic relations with Cuba. I am going to enjoy the meltdowns by the tea party the next 2 years. It will be epic and priceless!

Posted by: Tea Party meltdown at December 17, 2014 08:34 PM (I3C7c)

570 556
BTW, Chag Urim Sameach!
Posted by: MikeH at December 17, 2014 08:30 PM (4OZqu)


Is that Hebrew for "make me a sammich"?
Posted by: grammie winger, joy to the world at December 17, 2014 08:32 PM (3B+O

Happy Lights Holiday

Posted by: MikeH at December 17, 2014 08:34 PM (4OZqu)

571 1313 Mockingbird Ln?

"Oh dear our poor cousin Marilyn..."

Posted by: Anna Puma (+SmuD) at December 17, 2014 08:34 PM (UtvsI)

572 556 Is that Hebrew for "make me a sammich"?
Posted by: grammie winger, joy to the world at December 17, 2014 08:32 PM (3B+O

(**furiously reviews 40 year old notebook from Hebrew school**)

Posted by: J.J. Sefton at December 17, 2014 08:34 PM (CMkNk)

573 give us gentiles a run down on Chanukah.

Background (from Edgar Allen Poe, so you know it's good):
http://books.eserver.org/fiction/poe/four_beasts_in_one.html

That's the asshole the Jews were rebelling against. (Antiochus IV Epiphanes, not Poe.)

Posted by: boulder terlit hobo at December 17, 2014 08:35 PM (AVEe1)

574 Posted by: Tea Party meltdown at December 17, 2014 08:34 PM (I3C7c)


I hope you have a blessed Christmas this year Hector.

Posted by: grammie winger, joy to the world at December 17, 2014 08:35 PM (3B+O8)

575 I am planning a trip to Cuba, to have some rum and enjoy a Cuban cigar. I will be in Havana laughing at the tea party losers.

Posted by: Tea Party meltdown at December 17, 2014 08:35 PM (3ysMx)

576 566 Only you and I will get that joke. ha ha.
Posted by: Nip Sip at December 17, 2014 08:33 PM (0FSuD)


That's why I did it. And they said computers would never be a big thing in our lives . . .

Posted by: J.J. Sefton at December 17, 2014 08:36 PM (CMkNk)

577 I give Obama kudos. He really knows how to rile up the tea party crazies. I am enjoying the hysteria over having diplomatic relations with Cuba. I am going to enjoy the meltdowns by the tea party the next 2 years. It will be epic and priceless!


Posted by: Tea Party meltdown at December 17, 2014 08:34 PM
.........Yes, the hysteria and melt down is huge as you can tell. Almost as big as your vagina shaped face.

Posted by: Minnfidel at December 17, 2014 08:36 PM (bXdYS)

578 Raaarrrrghhhhh.......cuba....rrrrarrrrghhhhh.


Hulk ANGRY!!!!!

Posted by: eleven at December 17, 2014 08:36 PM (MDgS8)

579 575 I am planning a trip to Cuba, to have some rum and enjoy a Cuban cigar. I will be in Havana laughing at the tea party losers.
Posted by: Tea Party meltdown at December 17, 2014 08:35 PM (3ysMx)

Good one. I'll have to remember that when I'm climbing off your mom.

Posted by: J.J. Sefton at December 17, 2014 08:37 PM (CMkNk)

580 We always tell our children that if some one asks for their help they are racists.

Posted by: Barack and Michelle at December 17, 2014 08:37 PM (53CCM)

581 (**furiously reviews 40 year old notebook from Hebrew school**)





Posted by: J.J. Sefton at December 17, 2014 08:34 PM (CMkNk)



I'm certainly glad you and CBD have such a good sense of humor. Cause I've seen NCIS, I know all about you Mossad dudes...

Posted by: GGE of the Moron Horde, NC Chapter at December 17, 2014 08:37 PM (6fyGz)

582 What if someone asks her to get the Falcon ready for take-off and to get ready to kick in the hyperdrive?

Posted by: eman at December 17, 2014 08:37 PM (MQEz6)

583 Uh oh, I'm getting shunted down the advertising wormhole again. Anybody else?

Posted by: All Hail Eris at December 17, 2014 08:37 PM (KH1sk)

584 @574
I hope you and your family have a blessed Christmas as well. I really think Green Bay is the team to beat in the NFC. That loss at Buffalo was the exception to how great they have been playing.

Posted by: Tea Party meltdown at December 17, 2014 08:37 PM (3ysMx)

585 Having a tea party meltdown
It's always a shame.

Posted by: f'd zepplun at December 17, 2014 08:37 PM (JdEZJ)

586 Raaarrrrghhhhh.......cuba....rrrrarrrrghhhhh.


Hulk ANGRY!!!!!

Posted by: eleven at December 17, 2014 08:36 PM
I LOLed.

Posted by: Minnfidel at December 17, 2014 08:37 PM (bXdYS)

587 >>Posted by: Jen at December 17, 2014 08:31 PM (msAGT)

Too funny, Jen. Sephora confuses me, too!

Posted by: Lizzy at December 17, 2014 08:37 PM (ABcz/)

588 Have the Cubs sent scouts to Havana yet?

Posted by: eman at December 17, 2014 08:37 PM (MQEz6)

589 Did you take your laptop to the bar again Hector?

Posted by: Kenway at December 17, 2014 08:37 PM (xeTkh)

590 All Hail Eris


No problemos for me-os.

Posted by: eleven at December 17, 2014 08:38 PM (MDgS8)

591 581 I'm certainly glad you and CBD have such a good sense of humor. Cause I've seen NCIS, I know all about you Mossad dudes...
Posted by: GGE of the Moron Horde, NC Chapter at December 17, 2014 08:37 PM (6fyGz)


You're lucky. My laser-Joo-shark is in the shop, getting the ball joints replaced.

Posted by: J.J. Sefton at December 17, 2014 08:38 PM (CMkNk)

592 Posted by: Tea Party meltdown at December 17, 2014 08:35 PM (3ysMx)



Good one. I'll have to remember that when I'm climbing off your mom.

Posted by: J.J. Sefton at December 17, 2014 08:37 PM (CMkNk)



Sorry Sir, Imma have to cite you for that. You're supposed to be wearing hard hats and a harness if you're that far off the ground.

Posted by: OSHA Inspector at December 17, 2014 08:38 PM (6fyGz)

593 Nothing I like better than travelling in a communist country where 13 yr old girls only cost 20 bucks.

Posted by: Shep Smith at December 17, 2014 08:38 PM (53CCM)

594 @579
That's the best you got? It sucks to be a tea partier. Always angry and bitter at life.

Posted by: Tea Party meltdown at December 17, 2014 08:38 PM (3ysMx)

595 And boys only cost 15

Posted by: Shep Smith at December 17, 2014 08:39 PM (53CCM)

596 That's why I did it. And they said computers would never be a big thing in our lives . . .





Posted by: J.J. Sefton at December 17, 2014 08:36 PM (CMkNk)

Yeah, the Four grand I paid for the Apple II? It was a good investment. Fired six people.

Posted by: Nip Sip at December 17, 2014 08:39 PM (0FSuD)

597 588 Have the Cubs sent scouts to Havana yet?
Posted by: eman at December 17, 2014 08:37 PM (MQEz6)



Don't you scoff now. We might, just possibly might, have an actual team this year.

Posted by: grammie winger, joy to the world at December 17, 2014 08:39 PM (3B+O8)

598 You DO know why a bride smiles as she walks down the aisle, right?

----------

I'll bite......... Why?

Posted by: fixerupper at December 17, 2014 08:40 PM (wFSLW)

599 597 588 Have the Cubs sent scouts to Havana yet?
Posted by: eman at December 17, 2014 08:37 PM (MQEz6)



Don't you scoff now. We might, just possibly might, have an actual team this year.
Posted by: grammie winger, joy to the world at December 17, 2014 08:39 PM (3B+O

Steady now.

Posted by: eman at December 17, 2014 08:40 PM (MQEz6)

600 Look at me everyone, look, no really, over here, look at me! Right here, hey, you, over here, yes you, look at me, look at me damnit!

Posted by: Pea Party Meltdown at December 17, 2014 08:40 PM (bXdYS)

601 I can'tw ait to see what Obama does next to piss off the tea party. He's having a great time and getting under the skin of the tea party. It's fun to watch!

Posted by: Tea Party meltdown at December 17, 2014 08:40 PM (3ysMx)

602

Ace hasn't posted about rape in a while -- doesn't he love us anymore?

Posted by: Soothsayer's Imaginary Home For Incorrigible Boys & Girls at December 17, 2014 08:40 PM (sattt)

603 Don't you scoff now. We might, just possibly might, have an actual team this year.


lol

Don't make me lol.

Posted by: eleven - Raiderfan at December 17, 2014 08:40 PM (MDgS8)

604 Have the Cubs sent scouts to Havana yet?

They could turn the double play Castro to Guevara to Bolivar.

Man, it sucks to park there.

Posted by: Big Fat Meanie at December 17, 2014 08:40 PM (Dhdnu)

605 I'll bite......... Why?

Posted by: fixerupper at December 17, 2014 08:40 PM (wFSLW)



Because they have given their last bj.

Posted by: OSHA Inspector at December 17, 2014 08:41 PM (6fyGz)

606 >>>But Michele Obama goes through life like a china shop in a stockyard, looking to be shattered by hoof-fall.


I believe her doctoral (masters?) thesis was on this very topic.

Posted by: Mindy at December 17, 2014 08:41 PM (rcXlm)

607
Old and Busted: Wookies, Worf and Patrick Ewing

New Hotness: Buffalo jokes

Posted by: IllTemperedCur at December 17, 2014 08:41 PM (8v9fw)

608 594 @579
That's the best you got? It sucks to be a tea partier. Always angry and bitter at life.
Posted by: Tea Party meltdown at December 17, 2014 08:38 PM (3ysMx)


I'm actually a very content and fulfilled person. I'm reminded of that when I read your drivel. But, since this is a time of joy I can honestly say "Shteyner of'n beyner" and "Vayr ge hargit" in the truest sense of the words.



Posted by: J.J. Sefton at December 17, 2014 08:41 PM (CMkNk)

609 Wrigleyville, not Havana.

Posted by: Big Fat Meanie at December 17, 2014 08:41 PM (Dhdnu)

610 580 We always tell our children that if some one asks for their help they are racists.
Posted by: Barack and Michelle at December 17, 2014 08:37 PM (53CCM)

If someone is offended on behalf of someone else, they're also racists.

Posted by: model_1066 at December 17, 2014 08:41 PM (kCxMY)

611 I'll bite......... Why?

Posted by: fixerupper at December 17, 2014 08:40 PM (wFSLW)

Seriously, you don't know she's given her last BJ?

Posted by: Nip Sip at December 17, 2014 08:41 PM (0FSuD)

612 We might, just possibly might, have an actual team this year.

And maybe the Astros can go a whole year without a "Blutarsky" Neilsen-rating.

Posted by: boulder terlit hobo at December 17, 2014 08:41 PM (AVEe1)

613 Hello sailor!!!!!

Posted by: Pea Party Meltdown at December 17, 2014 08:42 PM (bXdYS)

614 Don't make me lol.
Posted by: eleven - Raiderfan at December 17, 2014 08:40 PM (MDgS




There will be no jocularity on this thread about the Cubs. Or it's coal for everyone.

Posted by: grammie winger, joy to the world at December 17, 2014 08:42 PM (3B+O8)

615 The Queen was offended that she wasn't recognized.

Posted by: The Mega Independent at December 17, 2014 08:42 PM (QCo5R)

616 Don't you scoff now. We might, just possibly might, have an actual team this year.
Posted by: grammie winger, joy to the world at December 17, 2014 08:39 PM (3B+O

Bless your heart... I love a glass half full person. I am Cardinals all the way. But if the Little Bears ever make it to the Series, I will be rooting for them. (I hope, at least, you are not a Bears fan too. One can only "Bear" so much pain, after all).

Posted by: Kraken at December 17, 2014 08:42 PM (5+mPY)

617 605 I'll bite......... Why?

Posted by: fixerupper at December 17, 2014 08:40 PM (wFSLW)



Because they have given their last bj.
Posted by: OSHA Inspector at December 17, 2014 08:41 PM (6fyGz)



golf. clap.

Posted by: model_1066 at December 17, 2014 08:43 PM (kCxMY)

618 @608
If you are so content, why are you online bitching on a daily basis.

Posted by: Tea Party meltdown at December 17, 2014 08:43 PM (3ysMx)

619 614 There will be no jocularity on this thread about the Cubs. Or it's coal for everyone.
Posted by: grammie winger, joy to the world at December 17, 2014 08:42 PM (3B+O


The way the EPA is going, there won't be coal either. Gonna be cold over at Kaminsky Field.

Posted by: J.J. Sefton at December 17, 2014 08:43 PM (CMkNk)

620 I demand attention! I demand outrage!
Placate me!

Posted by: Pea Party Meltdown at December 17, 2014 08:44 PM (bXdYS)

621 615
The Queen was offended that she wasn't recognized.

Posted by: The Mega Independent at December 17, 2014 08:42 PM (QCo5R)

Trust me the fucking Queen has NEVER been in a Target. Help buys her shit at Harrods.

Posted by: Nip Sip at December 17, 2014 08:44 PM (0FSuD)

622 Obama got another win against the tea party!

Posted by: Tea Party meltdown at December 17, 2014 08:44 PM (3ysMx)

623 Posted by: Kraken at December 17, 2014 08:42 PM (5+mPY)



Packers all the way.

Posted by: grammie winger, joy to the world at December 17, 2014 08:44 PM (3B+O8)

624 You're lucky. My laser-Joo-shark is in the shop, getting the ball joints replaced.





Posted by: J.J. Sefton at December 17, 2014 08:38 PM (CMkNk)



hah!

http://youtu.be/KA5II5AlO7w

Posted by: GGE of the Moron Horde, NC Chapter at December 17, 2014 08:44 PM (6fyGz)

625 618 @608
If you are so content, why are you online bitching on a daily basis.
Posted by: Tea Party meltdown at December 17, 2014 08:43 PM (3ysMx)


I'm flattered that you read my comments. Anger and contentment are not mutually exclusive. Should I explain that concept or do I have to wait while you get the Chicago Style Manual?

Posted by: J.J. Sefton at December 17, 2014 08:45 PM (CMkNk)

626 Somewhat off-topic, it cracks me up when people try to describe a black person and describe everything but his/her race....
Posted by: chique d'afrique (the artist formerly known as african chick) at December 17, 2014 07:38 PM (r+7wo)


I got a serious chewing out once from a raging liberal co-worker for describing someone she needed to talk to as black.

Posted by: Michael the Hobbit at December 17, 2014 08:45 PM (oWhIO)

627 So anyway, I'm at the glory hole, for like 10 hours today. You'll never guess who knocked on my wall!

Posted by: Tea Party Meltdown at December 17, 2014 08:45 PM (bXdYS)

628
I'll bite......... Why?

Posted by: fixerupper at December 17, 2014 08:40 PM (wFSLW)



Because they have given their last bj.

Posted by: OSHA Inspector at December 17, 2014 08:41 PM (6fyGz)








So that's something ELSE that gay marriage is making obsolete......

Posted by: IllTemperedCur at December 17, 2014 08:45 PM (8v9fw)

629 Wait...... laser Jew sharks?????



Fuck that shit. I'm outta here!

Posted by: eleven - Raiderfan at December 17, 2014 08:46 PM (MDgS8)

630
Packers all the way.
Posted by: grammie winger, joy to the world at December 17, 2014 08:44 PM (3B+O
Colts here, Grammie. See you in the playoffs!!!

Posted by: Kraken at December 17, 2014 08:46 PM (5+mPY)

631 614 There will be no jocularity on this thread about the Cubs. Or it's coal for everyone.
Posted by: grammie winger, joy to the world at December 17, 2014 08:42 PM (3B+O


The way the EPA is going, there won't be coal either. Gonna be cold over at Kaminsky Field.

Posted by: J.J. Sefton at December 17, 2014 08:43 PM (CMkNk)

*Scratches head and remembers growing up in Chicago and where the Cubs and Sox each played*

Posted by: ManWithNoParty, unperson from Free Market Jesus Paradise at December 17, 2014 08:46 PM (eLjug)

632 Vagisil, *shudder*: when my wife and I were in
college, we went camping together. We were in our sleeping bags, and I
was going to brush my teeth. I asked her for some, and she hands me her
dop kit. I dug around, and pulled out the "tooth-paste." That was when
toothpaste tubes were still heavy foil. Anyway, it was an ancient tube
of Vagisil, and my mouth was numb for 2 days.
Posted by: Brave Sir Robin at December 17, 2014 07:37 PM (5buP


Yikes. Got rid of that fish breath though I'll bet.

Posted by: mugiwara at December 17, 2014 08:46 PM (3a584)

633 Wasn't there recent news about the Navy having a shark drone?

Posted by: Anna Puma (+SmuD) at December 17, 2014 08:46 PM (UtvsI)

634 Thammph joketh ishhh shomph wrongthph.

Posted by: Mrs Fixer at December 17, 2014 08:46 PM (wFSLW)

635 'If you are so content, why are you online bitching on a daily basis.'

Therapy?

Posted by: f'd zepplun at December 17, 2014 08:47 PM (JdEZJ)

636 Validate me!

Posted by: Hector, King of Serbs at December 17, 2014 08:47 PM (xeTkh)

637 569 I give Obama kudos. He really knows how to rile up the tea party crazies. I am enjoying the hysteria over having diplomatic relations with Cuba. I am going to enjoy the meltdowns by the tea party the next 2 years. It will be epic and priceless!
Posted by: Tea Party meltdown at December 17, 2014 08:34 PM (I3C7c)



You'll change your tune when the first Burger King opens there.

Posted by: model_1066 at December 17, 2014 08:47 PM (kCxMY)

638

be careful when you sock a troll -- it's a fast way to get banned along with the real troll

Posted by: Soothsayer's Imaginary Home For Incorrigible Boys & Girls at December 17, 2014 08:47 PM (sattt)

639 Got rid of that fish breath though I'll bet.


Posted by: mugiwara at December 17, 2014 08:46 PM (3a584)




yep...going to hell for laughing so hard at that...

Posted by: GGE of the Moron Horde, NC Chapter at December 17, 2014 08:47 PM (6fyGz)

640 And maybe the Astros can go a whole year without a "Blutarsky" Neilsen-rating.

Zero point zero

Posted by: Dean Wormer at December 17, 2014 08:47 PM (KCxzN)

641 I dug around, and pulled out the "tooth-paste." . . . my mouth was numb for 2 days

OMGLOLROTFLMAOXYZ.

Posted by: boulder terlit hobo at December 17, 2014 08:48 PM (AVEe1)

642 @625

I'm flattered that you read my comments. Anger and
contentment are not mutually exclusive. Should I explain that concept
or do I have to wait while you get the Chicago Style Manual?





Posted by: J.J. Sefton at December 17, 2014 08:45 PM (CMkNk)
i don't care about your psychological issues. I am making money in the stock market and planning a trip to Cuba. Life is good for me. I just come on here to rattle your cages. You guys are easy to get angry. The tea party has anger management issues.

Posted by: Tea Party meltdown at December 17, 2014 08:49 PM (3ysMx)

643 567 Can someone parse and grok #637 in the Cuba Deal thread? I'm puzzled.

Noise. Maybe concerned conservative concerned over Ace's conservative-ness. But overall not worth brainpower to parse.

Posted by: CM at December 17, 2014 08:49 PM (0NdlF)

644 632
Vagisil, *shudder*: when my wife and I were in

college, we went camping together. We were in our sleeping bags, and I

was going to brush my teeth. I asked her for some, and she hands me her

dop kit. I dug around, and pulled out the "tooth-paste." That was when

toothpaste tubes were still heavy foil. Anyway, it was an ancient tube

of Vagisil, and my mouth was numb for 2 days.
Posted by: Brave Sir Robin at December 17, 2014 07:37 PM (5buP



I don't believe I'd a told that.

Posted by: Nip Sip at December 17, 2014 08:49 PM (0FSuD)

645 The other day I was standing outside of a restaurant and some people came out and handed me their car keys and a big bag of money. They said keep it as a gift. Being a person of whiteness rocks balls!

Posted by: Mr. Feverhead at December 17, 2014 08:49 PM (i0vkQ)

646 Yep, see you guys in the playoffs.........

Posted by: Anon NFC South Fan at December 17, 2014 08:49 PM (xeTkh)

647 What he's trying to say is that Obama made you guys angry by dealing with the Cubans.

Posted by: Ben Roethlisberger at December 17, 2014 08:49 PM (MDgS8)

648 Gimme yo wallet and keyz m'fker.

(no black male hasn't been handed keys)

Posted by: B+arry Cripz, cash or clunker at December 17, 2014 08:49 PM (9dSsW)

649 565
Slacks.





I just hate that word.





Slacks.

Trousers.

Posted by: Target shopper at December 17, 2014 08:50 PM (XzRw1)

650 Asking Michelle Obama to do a lick of work, THAT'S RACISS!

Posted by: richard mcenroe at December 17, 2014 08:50 PM (XO6WW)

651 I caught a whiff of this story earlier and tried to avoid it since I could feel my blood pressure rising... but there is no avoiding this today. My God, I can't stand these grifters!

Ace, I know how you feel... I once asked someone (a white person, I hasten to add!!) for help thinking they worked there and it is embarrassing to be told they don't. I'm also short, so there is a dilemma! So, I usually go to the front of the store and ask there. Usually it means walking quite a way (these Targets/Walmarts are SUPER size now)...

Back to Michelle Whiny Obama: these silly stories diminish REAL racism. So, gee, I'm sure the black community is thrilled by this from them.

I wish I could stay away from all things Obama -- he is really bad for my health.

Posted by: Aslan's Girl at December 17, 2014 08:50 PM (rldyO)

652 Brave Sir Robin, "One time at band camp..."

Posted by: Anna Puma (+SmuD) at December 17, 2014 08:50 PM (UtvsI)

653 Will you guys tone down your Cuba rage please.

Posted by: Minnfidel at December 17, 2014 08:51 PM (bXdYS)

654 This is the first time I ever heard the joke about the bride. I live a sheltered life.

Posted by: ALH at December 17, 2014 08:51 PM (btTLZ)

655 @642

Wait, we have a lurking troll? Oh, boy let's pile on.


No need to come here, Chuck Johnson would love to have your comments, you rich fellow.

Posted by: Nip Sip at December 17, 2014 08:51 PM (0FSuD)

656 Wasn't there recent news about the Navy having a shark drone?
Posted by: Anna Puma (+SmuD) at December 17, 2014 08:46 PM (UtvsI)
---
The GhostSwimmer:

http://tinyurl.com/l8q4j3l

I love it when life imitates SyFy. Me, I would make it look like a Megalodon and freak everybody out.

Posted by: All Hail Eris at December 17, 2014 08:51 PM (KH1sk)

657 ...I am making money in the stock market and planning a trip to Cuba...

Posted by: Tea Party meltdown at December 17, 2014
08:49 PM


I heard you made 72 million...

Posted by: Dean Wormer at December 17, 2014 08:51 PM (KCxzN)

658 I used to spend so much time in bookstores I helped people find stuff all the time.

Posted by: steevy at December 17, 2014 08:51 PM (v5UtH)

659 Um...if this actually happened while she was First Lady...probably even a Senator's wife...there would be pics. Lots of pics.

I can find none.

Getting tired of the bullshit 'narratives'.

Posted by: SGT York at December 17, 2014 08:52 PM (zh7yG)

660 Will you guys tone down your Cuba rage please.



I am insane with ANGER!!!!!!!

Posted by: eleven at December 17, 2014 08:52 PM (MDgS8)

661 I was in a Dollar store recently, and I go there all the time. I know the ladies that work there and give them a full ration of shit.

So I'm talking to one of the lady employees, just small talk, and a kid who couldn't have been more than 16 or so walked up and asked "Excuse me, where are the condoms"?

So I answered, "I'm not sure, but socks are on sale in aisle 3".

That's not the same, is it?

Posted by: Herr Morgenholz at December 17, 2014 08:52 PM (RubNX)

662 658 I used to spend so much time in bookstores I helped people find stuff all the time.

Find any hot librarians that way?

Posted by: CM at December 17, 2014 08:52 PM (0NdlF)

663 If Meagan would show up one night with a tit hanging out, she would blow up the Neislon meter.

Posted by: Nip Sip at December 17, 2014 08:52 PM (0FSuD)

664 653 Will you guys tone down your Cuba rage please.
Posted by: Minnfidel at December 17, 2014 08:51 PM (bXdYS)



I'm trying, I'm trying. But you know my little old tea party self is all rage, all the time.

Posted by: grammie winger, joy to the world at December 17, 2014 08:52 PM (3B+O8)

665 520 If I had the media kissing my ass 24/7 I'd turn into a monster too.

Tell me about it.

Posted by: Lena Dunham at December 17, 2014 08:52 PM (qyomX)

666 Jew Sharks? Joonado! A Hanukah Special On TBS!

Posted by: Minnfidel at December 17, 2014 08:53 PM (bXdYS)

667 All Hail Eris, a Megalodon? Could equip it with Mk.48ADCAPs and cruise missiles.

All controlled from an XBox One in Nevada.

Posted by: Anna Puma (+SmuD) at December 17, 2014 08:53 PM (UtvsI)

668 I used to spend so much time in bookstores I helped people find stuff all the time.

Yeah... I "used to"... too...

*eyes dart left and right*

Posted by: boulder terlit hobo might have a problem at December 17, 2014 08:53 PM (AVEe1)

669 Will you guys tone down your Cuba rage please.
Posted by: Minnfidel at December 17, 2014 08:51 PM (bXdYS)

*******

Welcome to the HQ! Please do feel free to post more often.

Posted by: ManWithNoParty, unperson from Free Market Jesus Paradise at December 17, 2014 08:53 PM (z2f1n)

670
It's not like someone called her a Klingon or Wookie. Amirite?

Posted by: I R A Darth Aggie at December 17, 2014 08:53 PM (VvOZ5)

671 CM thanks for looking. So second opinion is 'full of sound and fury signifying nothing.'

Posted by: Anna Puma (+SmuD) at December 17, 2014 08:54 PM (UtvsI)

672 They sell condoms at the Dollar Store?


Posted by: fixerupper at December 17, 2014 08:54 PM (wFSLW)

673 662 Of course I was extra helpful to hot chicks.

Posted by: steevy at December 17, 2014 08:54 PM (v5UtH)

674 >>>Will you guys tone down your Cuba rage please.

Posted by: Minnfidel at December 17, 2014 08:51 PM (bXdYS)<<<

**slowly backs away from thread**




Posted by: Cuba Gooding, Jr. at December 17, 2014 08:54 PM (qfd4W)

675 >>Um...if this actually happened while she was First Lady...probably even a Senator's wife...there would be pics. Lots of pics.

Worse, there's video of her telling this as a cutesy, I secret shopped at Target story on Letterman, which completely invalidates her current racism spin.

http://www.thegatewaypundit.com/2014/12/ barack-michelle-obama-were-victims-of-racism-in-america/

Posted by: Lizzy at December 17, 2014 08:54 PM (ABcz/)

676 If Meagan would show up one night with a tit hanging out, she would blow up the Neislon meter.


Posted by: Nip Sip at December 17, 2014 08:52 PM
.........If you mean Megyn as in the one and only Ms Kelly,.... YES, yes it would. If you mean Meagan as in McCain, it would make every male viewer flaccid for weeks and ratings would plummet.

Posted by: Minnfidel at December 17, 2014 08:55 PM (bXdYS)

677 670
It's not like someone called her a Klingon or Wookie. Amirite?
Posted by: I R A Darth Aggie at December 17, 2014 08:53 PM (VvOZ5)

Those were compliments!

Posted by: model_1066 at December 17, 2014 08:55 PM (kCxMY)

678 642 Posted by: Tea Party meltdown at December 17, 2014 08:49 PM (3ysMx)

You really are a tiresome acne-encrusted adolescent. Your writing is a string of juvenile non-sequiters akin to Michelle Obama's masters thesis, with about 10% more fatuousness. If you have an intellectual point/observation to make, then do so. So far, all you've succeeded in doing is typing the equivalent of "nyah-nyah!" without adding anything to the discourse.

Go to bed, kid.

Posted by: J.J. Sefton at December 17, 2014 08:56 PM (CMkNk)

679 As one of the vertically challenges, I find her smug assumption of racism to be quite rude. Furthermore, why did the person even have to ask? What has happened to our society? Isn't polite to open the door for someone when you see that their hands are full and they are trying to do the latte-balancing act? Isn't it polite to let someone go first in line when you have 50 items and they have 3? Isn't it just good manners to pick up something that someone has dropped? Is it being nice to allow someone to merge on the freeway? Honestly, wouldn't it just be polite to help some vertically challenged person reach that item on the top shelf when you see them struggling to reach it? I may not be gifted with height, but I do have small hands, narrow wrists, and a small bone structure. I've done my part. I once saw a guy banging on a vending machine because his soda was stuck up inside the machine. Feeling finally able to help out, I said, "No worries. I got this," and I easily slid my skinny little arm up inside the machine, knocking loose his soda. He couldn't have been happier, and I walked away happy that I could help. With that being said, it's a sad commentary that the First Lady, who happens to be 5'11, doesn't have the observational skills to notice that a shorty is having trouble reaching the laundry detergent on the top shelf. You'd think the First Lady would have some first class manners and offer to help. But no. Instead, the First Lady sees an this common everyday event as some sort of anecdote of hate. This is ludicrous, and it only shows how deep rooted her paranoia really is. I know if I was a tall, no one would have to ask me to get something down off of the shelf. I would just do it because it's the nice, well mannered thing to do. I guess it's too much to expect the same from the First Lady of the United States of America.

Posted by: Mistress O at December 17, 2014 08:56 PM (2/oBD)

680 I did help out the ugglos and fatties as well.I'm good like that.

Posted by: steevy at December 17, 2014 08:56 PM (v5UtH)

681 666
Jew Sharks? Joonado! A Hanukah Special On TBS!

Posted by: Minnfidel at December 17, 2014 08:53 PM (bXdYS)

We are on it! But first you will blow me.

Posted by: Scott Rudin at December 17, 2014 08:56 PM (0FSuD)

682 Hey, it's after 9pm EST. Time for the early bird ONT.

Posted by: ALH at December 17, 2014 08:56 PM (btTLZ)

683 672 They sell condoms at the Dollar Store?


Posted by: fixerupper at December 17, 2014 08:54 PM (wFSLW)



Just retreads.

Posted by: model_1066 at December 17, 2014 08:56 PM (kCxMY)

684 651 Back to Michelle Whiny Obama: these silly stories diminish REAL racism.

Shorter Michelle: don't ask black people for help, the way you might do to anyone else. You can't even imagine how they might interpret it.

Which of course I am not going to listen to. I'll assume a certain amount of goodwill by default in my fellow beings, until they make clear that that was a mistake. But I'll also check for hostile-face and crazy-trimmed eyebrows first.

Posted by: Splunge at December 17, 2014 08:57 PM (qyomX)

685 Maybe all she's good at is getting things off of tall shelves?

Posted by: torabora at December 17, 2014 08:57 PM (9dSsW)

686 Just retreads.



::gakk::

Posted by: eleven at December 17, 2014 08:57 PM (MDgS8)

687 Test

Just posted something that disappeared.

Posted by: Jane D'oh at December 17, 2014 08:57 PM (FsuaD)

688 >>>Hey, it's after 9pm EST. Time for the early bird ONT.

Posted by: ALH at December 17, 2014 08:56 PM (btTLZ)<<<

Asking for an early ONT is racist.

Posted by: M'chelle Obama at December 17, 2014 08:57 PM (qfd4W)

689 683 Just retreads.
Posted by: model_1066 at December 17, 2014 08:56 PM (kCxMY)


Miss, could you please get the Coney Island whitefish?

Posted by: J.J. Sefton at December 17, 2014 08:57 PM (CMkNk)

690 Ok, so I'm just getting caught up here. Why hasn't anyone told me I'm supposed to be melting down about Cuba? And when can I expect my Koch check for my contribution?

Posted by: mugiwara at December 17, 2014 08:57 PM (3a584)

691 Welcome to the HQ! Please do feel free to post more often.

Posted by: ManWithNoParty, unperson from Free Market Jesus Paradise at December 17, 2014 08:53 PM (z2f1n)
.......Thanks! Not a newbie, just haven't posted in quite some time. But the AOSHQ to me is like the Hotel California, you can check out any time you like, but you can never leave.

Posted by: Minnfidel at December 17, 2014 08:57 PM (bXdYS)

692 123
Only when I have too much thyme on my hands.

Posted by: rickb223 at December 17, 2014 07:02 PM (XAGDQ)


****

Now that's some sage advice.
Posted by: Seamus Muldoon, a solid man at December 17, 2014 07:06 PM (NeFrd)


Stop trying to curry his favor.

Posted by: Weirddave at December 17, 2014 08:58 PM (KAmzK)

693 672 They sell condoms at the Dollar Store?


Posted by: fixerupper at December 17, 2014 08:54 PM (wFSLW)

~

Only the best.

Posted by: Mr. Feverhead at December 17, 2014 08:58 PM (i0vkQ)

694 All controlled from an XBox One in Nevada.
Posted by: Anna Puma (+SmuD) at December 17, 2014 08:53 PM (UtvsI)
------------
That right there is so crazy it's begging to be used against the Norks.

Posted by: All Hail Eris at December 17, 2014 08:59 PM (KH1sk)

695
The tea party has anger management issues.

And yet, somehow has not managed to burn down a neighborhood. Curious, that.

Posted by: I R A Darth Aggie at December 17, 2014 08:59 PM (VvOZ5)

696 <<Shorter Michelle:>>

heh.

Posted by: SGT York at December 17, 2014 08:59 PM (zh7yG)

697 I wonder if she liked "Big Momma's House" ?

Posted by: Amy Pascal & Scott Rudin - SO NYot Gonna Work Here No More at December 17, 2014 08:59 PM (QKIQb)

698
Asking for an early ONT is racist.

More like ageist.

Posted by: ALH at December 17, 2014 08:59 PM (btTLZ)

699 Cuba?


Price of hookers to sky rocket.


Same supply, more demand. No more $50 fucks.


JJ told me about this, ha ha

Posted by: Nip Sip at December 17, 2014 08:59 PM (0FSuD)

700 So I guess Mooch is teaching her daughters that helping someone is racist.

That should work out well. For us all.

Posted by: Jane D'oh at December 17, 2014 08:59 PM (FsuaD)

701 The GhostSwimmer:

http://tinyurl.com/l8q4j3l


Followed by other countries shooting all marine life on suspicion that they're drones.

And identifying the drones because they shoot back.

Posted by: CM at December 17, 2014 08:59 PM (0NdlF)

702 No more puns or I'll shoot this dog----->{cute puppy}

Posted by: eleven at December 17, 2014 08:59 PM (MDgS8)

703 687 Test

Just posted something that disappeared.
Posted by: Jane D'oh at December 17, 2014 08:57 PM (FsuaD)

You pass.

Posted by: Kraken at December 17, 2014 09:00 PM (5+mPY)

704
Remarkable how every troll we get at the HQ, bar none, has mad skilz in the stock market.....or are mega-successful businessmen.....or possess BOTH Harvard MBA and law degrees....

Posted by: IllTemperedCur at December 17, 2014 09:00 PM (8v9fw)

705 Stop trying to curry his favor.
Posted by: Weirddave at December 17, 2014 08:58 PM (KAmzK)

salt of the earth right there.

Posted by: model_1066 at December 17, 2014 09:00 PM (kCxMY)

706 ...I wonder if Michelle gave her famous scowl when she did this...

Posted by: Mistress O at December 17, 2014 09:00 PM (2/oBD)

707 Stop trying to curry his favor.

---------
Racist!!!!!!!

Posted by: National Association of Dot Indians at December 17, 2014 09:01 PM (wFSLW)

708 693 672 They sell condoms at the Dollar Store?


Posted by: fixerupper at December 17, 2014 08:54 PM (wFSLW)

~

Only the best.
Posted by: Mr. Feverhead at December 17, 2014 08:58 PM (i0vkQ)


I was on an Aeroflot flight from Moscow to Krasnoyarsk in 1992. The stewardess rolling an old TV tray down the aisle, selling all sorts of weird, crappy items and detritus. Including what I presumed was an unused condom, unrolled on top of a Coke bottle.

And this is the Russia that will defeat us somehow?

Posted by: J.J. Sefton at December 17, 2014 09:01 PM (CMkNk)

709 This is the first time I ever heard the joke about the bride. I live a sheltered life.

Posted by: ALH at December 17, 2014 08:51 PM (btTLZ)



Stick around, it just gets better...


Dogzard needs to go out. BBL.

Posted by: GGE of the Moron Horde, NC Chapter at December 17, 2014 09:01 PM (6fyGz)

710 CM, Greenpeace and PETA would be so conflicted.

Do they root for the sealife that shoots back?

Posted by: Anna Puma (+SmuD) at December 17, 2014 09:01 PM (UtvsI)

711 Damn right da tea party be racist and angry. Come on boo

*tries to pick up two year old and walk out of looted liquor store with five bottles of vodka simultaneously*

Posted by: Cousin Pookie at December 17, 2014 09:01 PM (xeTkh)

712 704


Remarkable how every troll we get at the HQ, bar none, has mad skilz
in the stock market.....or are mega-successful businessmen.....or
possess BOTH Harvard MBA and law degrees....



It's like they're Soros drones or something.

Posted by: Jane D'oh at December 17, 2014 09:01 PM (FsuaD)

713 Sales of People magazine with Hillary were bad. Please make sales of magazine with Mooch abysmal.

Posted by: Edmund Burke's Shadow at December 17, 2014 09:01 PM (cmBvC)

714 Remarkable how every troll we get at the HQ, bar none, has mad skilz in the stock market.....or are mega-successful businessmen.....or possess BOTH Harvard MBA and law degrees....

They are never short, bald, fat, dickless losers, are they.

Posted by: ALH at December 17, 2014 09:01 PM (btTLZ)

715 @704

Fuck yeah, Harvard MBA and Yale Law! I am the man! And Erg sucks my dick.

Posted by: Palin Steele at December 17, 2014 09:01 PM (0FSuD)

716 you know, for what it's worth, I did bring this story up in Ben K's empty morning thread, so I think I am entitled to put in my two cents.

Did you guys ever think that maybe, just maybe, the woman who asked Michelle to get something off the high shelf called her a moo-lin-yon..?

Posted by: mallfly at December 17, 2014 09:01 PM (zjcTL)

717 But the AOSHQ to me is like the Hotel California, you can check out any time you like, but you can never leave.
Posted by: Minnfidel at December 17, 2014 08:57 PM (bXdYS)

***

I was well aware of that when I posted.

See, that meant that you must not have.....eehhhh, if you have to explain it.....

*Stuffs hands in pockets and pouts*

Posted by: ManWithNoParty, unperson from Free Market Jesus Paradise at December 17, 2014 09:02 PM (5kNXS)

718
Excuse me miss, but is Fred "Rerun" Berry hiding in the back of your pants?

Posted by: J.J. Sefton at December 17, 2014 09:02 PM (CMkNk)

719 Sub-herb commentary

Posted by: Mike Hammer, etc., etc. at December 17, 2014 09:02 PM (kgisg)

720 >>>They sell condoms at the Dollar Store?

Posted by: fixerupper at December 17, 2014 08:54 PM (wFSLW)<<<




Bullshit! Condoms are unobtainable by anyone who does not earn a high 6 figure salary, and therefore should be supplied by the government.

Posted by: Sandra Fluke at December 17, 2014 09:02 PM (qfd4W)

721 Don't want her touching anything I might possibly put in my mouth. Nossir.

Posted by: Erowmero at December 17, 2014 09:02 PM (go5uR)

722 Furthermore, why did the person even have to ask? What has happened to our society?

When someone starts a conversation with me I'm steeling myself for the request for free-money or else a discourse on alien invasions. The reason for this is because 90% of the time it's the former and 10% the latter.

When I was about 19 years old it was 36 year old men wanting me to go home with them.

As a result of this I don't want to start a conversation with someone else because I'm afraid s/he'll think I'm a hobo and/or a lunatic. Oh and if it's female I then have to worry she thinks I'm a creep.

Posted by: boulder terlit hobo at December 17, 2014 09:02 PM (AVEe1)

723 Over/under there's a Castro decoration on the WH "Christmas" tree. To go with the (actual) Mao one and the Obama on Mt. Rushmore one (actual).

Posted by: Jane D'oh at December 17, 2014 09:03 PM (FsuaD)

724 704: And never get laid.

Posted by: Chavez the Hugo at December 17, 2014 09:03 PM (ucDmr)

725 I was on an Aeroflot flight from Moscow to Krasnoyarsk in 1992. The stewardess rolling an old TV tray down the aisle, selling all sorts of weird, crappy items and detritus. Including what I presumed was an unused condom, unrolled on top of a Coke bottle.

And this is the Russia that will defeat us somehow?

Posted by: J.J. Sefton at December 17, 2014 09:01 PM (CMkNk)

~

You pay to see what she does with it.

Posted by: Mr. Feverhead at December 17, 2014 09:03 PM (i0vkQ)

726 717 See, that meant that you must not have.....eehhhh, if you have to explain it.....
*Stuffs hands in pockets and pouts*


"Pockets?" You're wearing pants?

Posted by: Splunge at December 17, 2014 09:03 PM (qyomX)

727 Ace missed the best part of this story: the fact that Moochelle has told this story a few times before, but oddly this is the first time it was a "racist" request.

Posted by: Rusty Nail at December 17, 2014 09:03 PM (DGbOH)

728 So is holding the door sexist now too? If I don't hold it I am #waronwomyns. If I do I am sexist because women can open their own damn door neophyte! If I ask a tall Black lady to get something off the shelf I a racist. If I merely exist as a white guy I am racist and chock full of white privilege. If I judge people on the content of their character and not give special consideration, well I am racist. If I want the laws of our nation like our borders protected, yes, racist. I can't keep up anymore at the way I offend people.

Posted by: Minnfidel at December 17, 2014 09:03 PM (bXdYS)

729 *Stuffs hands in pockets and pouts*





THERE'S NO POUTING IN ACEBALL!!!!!


And get yer hands out yer pants!

Posted by: eleven at December 17, 2014 09:03 PM (MDgS8)

730 >>Good one. I'll have to remember that when I'm climbing off your mom.
Posted by: J.J. Sefton

Oh yeah?
You and what army?

Uh... wait.

Posted by: The Tea Party Twit at December 17, 2014 09:04 PM (3rrMW)

731 'scuse me biatch, wherz da ass wipe?

Posted by: People of Wall Mart at December 17, 2014 09:04 PM (9dSsW)

732
Okay kids. I think I drove Hector/Tea Party teenybopper momzer away.

Have a better one and see you tomorrow.

Posted by: J.J. Sefton at December 17, 2014 09:04 PM (CMkNk)

733 Wherz da gorilla snacks?

Posted by: People of Wall Mart at December 17, 2014 09:05 PM (9dSsW)

734 It is harder in them thinking the world is prejudice than it is on me not giving a shit what they think.

Posted by: Bob from table9 at December 17, 2014 09:05 PM (WNERA)

735 731
'scuse me biatch, wherz da ass wipe?


Posted by: People of Wall Mart at December 17, 2014 09:04 PM (9dSsW)


LOL! I'd kill for Mooch to visit a Walmart.

Posted by: Jane D'oh at December 17, 2014 09:05 PM (FsuaD)

736 *Stuffs hands in pockets and pouts*

Posted by: ManWithNoParty, unperson from Free Market Jesus Paradise at December 17, 2014 09:02 PM
.............Sorry I missed that. LOL

And um, well. about the pants.

Posted by: Minnfidel at December 17, 2014 09:05 PM (bXdYS)

737 Bullshit! Condoms are unobtainable by anyone who does not earn a high 6 figure salary, and therefore should be supplied by the government.
Posted by: Sandra Fluke at December 17, 2014 09:02 PM (qfd4W)

Hillary's figure is sorta shaped like a 6.

Posted by: model_1066 at December 17, 2014 09:05 PM (kCxMY)

738 Lace wigs bitches!

Posted by: Palin Steele at December 17, 2014 09:06 PM (0FSuD)

739 Well Sefton has done one thing the Soviet Pacific Fleet command never did. Survive an Aeroflot flight.

Posted by: Anna Puma (+SmuD) at December 17, 2014 09:06 PM (UtvsI)

740 THERE'S NO POUTING IN ACEBALL!!!!!

Shoot, we're playing ACEBALL? Is that like Calvinball?

Posted by: CM at December 17, 2014 09:06 PM (0NdlF)

741 732


Okay kids. I think I drove Hector/Tea Party teenybopper momzer away.



Have a better one and see you tomorrow.





Posted by: J.J. Sefton at December 17, 2014 09:04 PM (CMkNk)


'Night!

Posted by: Jane D'oh at December 17, 2014 09:06 PM (FsuaD)

742 737 Hillary's figure is sorta shaped like a 6.

More of an 8, if you include the walker.

Posted by: Splunge at December 17, 2014 09:06 PM (qyomX)

743 Have a good one Sefton. Back to the writing for moi.

Posted by: Anna Puma (+SmuD) at December 17, 2014 09:07 PM (UtvsI)

744 Minnfidel, everything you do, think, or say is now racist, by default, assuming you are a colorless person. All you can do is work tirelessly to absolve yourself of you blatant racism, because skin tone.

Posted by: Kraken at December 17, 2014 09:07 PM (5+mPY)

745 Good Night, JJ. Pleasant dreams!

Posted by: ALH at December 17, 2014 09:07 PM (btTLZ)

746 And this is the Russia that will defeat us somehow?

Posted by: J.J. Sefton
--------------

Waaay back in the early 60's, I was shooting the breeze with a friend, when a hyper-cool, hot-rodded '55 Chevy came cruising by. My friend pointed and said, "That's why The Russians will never catch up. There's something in our soul that makes us different".

Posted by: Mike Hammer, etc., etc. at December 17, 2014 09:07 PM (kgisg)

747 Aeroflot went down more than Sandra Fluke on a Friday night.

Posted by: steevy at December 17, 2014 09:07 PM (v5UtH)

748 Now the corporate world (Cronytown) has a beef with NK.

Their analysts may suggest removing NK from existence is a viable and optimal option.

If they do, governments will be directed to carry out the assigned task.

Posted by: eman at December 17, 2014 09:07 PM (MQEz6)

749 Shoot, we're playing ACEBALL? Is that like Calvinball?


It's like Calvinball but without all the rules.

Posted by: eleven at December 17, 2014 09:08 PM (MDgS8)

750 #725 in Russia you don't wear condom, condom wear YOU!

Posted by: USSA at December 17, 2014 09:08 PM (9dSsW)

751 Shoot, we're playing ACEBALL? Is that like Calvinball?
Posted by: CM
---------------

ACEBALL rules are more flexible...

Posted by: Mike Hammer, etc., etc. at December 17, 2014 09:08 PM (kgisg)

752 When I ordered clam chowder last night they brought it with crackers. CRACKERS! Damn Racists.

Posted by: Mr. Feverhead at December 17, 2014 09:09 PM (i0vkQ)

753
Fuck yeah, Harvard MBA and Yale Law! I am the man! And Erg sucks my dick.

Posted by: Palin Steele at December 17, 2014 09:01 PM (0FSuD)







Heh. That's EXACTLY who I was thinking of. Same guy who bitched about being out of work in the horrid Bush Economy and when pressed on his less-than-strenuous work search habits, claimed he was prepping to attend......a job fair.

But I'm not mean and misanthropic (shut up). Here's hoping that PS got his dream job as a Captain America writer.

Posted by: IllTemperedCur at December 17, 2014 09:09 PM (8v9fw)

754 Ok, so I'm just getting caught up here. Why hasn't anyone told me I'm supposed to be melting down about Cuba? And when can I expect my Koch check for my contribution?


Posted by: mugiwara at December 17, 2014 08:57 PM
.................You didn't get the message? We're looting Target and the Liquor store at 11:00.

Posted by: Minnfidel at December 17, 2014 09:09 PM (bXdYS)

755 "Pockets?" You're wearing pants?
Posted by: Splunge at December 17, 2014 09:03 PM (qyomX)

*******

I hope so, or I had Damn well better hit the gym and see a plastic surgeon, stat.

Posted by: ManWithNoParty, unperson from Free Market Jesus Paradise at December 17, 2014 09:09 PM (eLjug)

756 739 Well Sefton has done one thing the Soviet Pacific Fleet command never did. Survive an Aeroflot flight.
Posted by: Anna Puma (+SmuD) at December 17, 2014 09:06 PM (UtvsI)


2 flights. It was roundtrip and if we missed the flight back, we would be stranded in Siberia for lack of jet fuel.

G'night!

Posted by: J.J. Sefton at December 17, 2014 09:09 PM (CMkNk)

757 It's like Calvinball but without all the rules.

But when you manage to break the rules anyways, I take it you go to the Barrel.

Posted by: CM at December 17, 2014 09:09 PM (0NdlF)

758 I'll loot the liquor store.

You and you and you get the Target!

Posted by: eleven at December 17, 2014 09:10 PM (MDgS8)

759 Waaay back in the early 60's, I was shooting the breeze with a friend, when a hyper-cool, hot-rodded '55 Chevy came cruising by. My friend pointed and said, "That's why The Russians will never catch up. There's something in our soul that makes us different".

--------

** watches a Prius with a " Run Lizzy Run" bumper sticker dive by.....

Posted by: fixerupper at December 17, 2014 09:10 PM (wFSLW)

760 Minnfidel, everything you do, think, or say is now racist, by default, assuming you are a colorless person. All you can do is work tirelessly to absolve yourself of you blatant racism, because skin tone.

Posted by: Kraken at December 17, 2014 09:07 PM
...........Silently hangs head in shame.

Posted by: Minnfidel at December 17, 2014 09:10 PM (bXdYS)

761 Minnfidel, everything you do, think, or say is now racist, by default, assuming you are a colorless person. All you can do is work tirelessly to absolve yourself of you blatant racism, because skin tone.

Posted by: Kraken at December 17, 2014 09:07 PM
...........Silently hangs head in shame.

Posted by: Minnfidel at December 17, 2014 09:10 PM (bXdYS)

762 So, those out there still protesting in the name of Mike Brown, here's some news.

The Combine has move on.

Please return to your regularly scheduled dipshitery.

Posted by: eman at December 17, 2014 09:11 PM (MQEz6)

763 * watches a Prius with a " Run Lizzy Run" bumper sticker dive by.....
Posted by: fixerupper
--------------------

* gloom settles *

Posted by: Mike Hammer, etc., etc. at December 17, 2014 09:11 PM (kgisg)

764 I am still here! Erg is going to suck my dick again and then I will be the old asshole you use to love.


Lace Wigs!

Posted by: Palin Steele at December 17, 2014 09:12 PM (0FSuD)

765 Leave JJ Walker alone to shop! Good Times was forty years ago, for pete's sake!

Posted by: S eft on at December 17, 2014 09:12 PM (KG1MP)

766 Followed by other countries shooting all marine life on suspicion that they're drones.



And identifying the drones because they shoot back.

Posted by: CM at December 17, 2014 08:59 PM (0NdlF)



Most of the Marines I know would shoot back, too. The rest would drop napalm on you...cause they're pilots.

And my kilt has pockets, so there.

Posted by: GGE of the Moron Horde, NC Chapter at December 17, 2014 09:12 PM (6fyGz)

767 I'll loot the liquor store.

You and you and you get the Target!

Posted by: eleven at December 17, 2014 09:10 PM
....Ok I'll....Hey wait a minute.....

Posted by: Minnfidel at December 17, 2014 09:12 PM (bXdYS)

768 728
I can't keep up anymore at the way I offend people.
Posted by: Minnfidel at December 17, 2014 09:03 PM (bXdYS)


No, I think you've got the hang of it. You're racist.

Posted by: rickl at December 17, 2014 09:12 PM (sdi6R)

769 ** watches a Prius with a " Run Lizzy Run" bumper sticker dive by.....


*puts same sticker on the front bumper of my car*

Posted by: Jane D'oh at December 17, 2014 09:13 PM (FsuaD)

770 Posted by: Kraken at December 17, 2014 09:07 PM
...........Silently hangs head in shame.
Posted by: Minnfidel at December 17, 2014 09:10 PM (bXdYS)

Well, that's a start. Now sell everything you own, give it to Rainbow/Push, and go, follow the Reverend Al.

Posted by: Kraken at December 17, 2014 09:13 PM (5+mPY)

771 Posted by: Ben Roethlisberger at December 17, 2014 08:49 PM (MDgS

Nice.

Posted by: The Mega Independent at December 17, 2014 09:13 PM (QCo5R)

772 Nearly 800 comments?? Seems like I should make one, I suppose.

Posted by: CJ at December 17, 2014 09:13 PM (jbdp1)

773
So is holding the door sexist now too? If I don't hold it I am #waronwomyns. If I do I am sexist because women can open their own damn door neophyte!







I can open my own door!

Okay, knock yourself out. *slams door in chickie's face*

Posted by: IllTemperedCur at December 17, 2014 09:13 PM (8v9fw)

774 * watches a Prius with a " Run Lizzy Run" bumper sticker dive by.....

Posted by: fixerupper

--------------------



* gloom settles *

Posted by: Mike Hammer, etc., etc. at December 17, 2014 09:11 PM (kgisg)



*listens to the melodious rumble of a modern American 440 HP V8 through MRT Interceptor axlebacks*

I think we'll be OK.

Posted by: GGE of the Moron Horde, NC Chapter at December 17, 2014 09:14 PM (6fyGz)

775 OK Home boys and girls, I am out of here.


Drinking all day wears your ass out.



Posted by: Nip Sip at December 17, 2014 09:14 PM (0FSuD)

776 Ace, even my little Pirates ask for help from random strangers. I sent Pirate #3 to get dried peas for her favorite meal and she couldn't find them, so she asked a random shopper (who then pointed to the bin on the bottom shelf).

Posted by: Steve the Pirate's Wife at December 17, 2014 09:14 PM (GAZnQ)

777 Apparently being polite and helpful is a problem in the Northeast. And upper Midwest. And Clownifornia.

I'm appreciating Georgia and the South more every day.

Posted by: Jane D'oh at December 17, 2014 09:14 PM (FsuaD)

778 Well played D'oh. Well played indeed.

Posted by: fixerupper at December 17, 2014 09:15 PM (wFSLW)

779
*puts same sticker on the front bumper of my car*


Posted by: Jane D'oh at December 17, 2014 09:13 PM (FsuaD)



Not an endorsement, just advice.

Posted by: GGE of the Moron Horde, NC Chapter at December 17, 2014 09:15 PM (6fyGz)

780 *listens to the melodious rumble of a modern American 440 HP V8 through MRT Interceptor axlebacks*

I think we'll be OK.
Posted by: GGE
-------------------

The guy built the '55 in his barn.
Therein lies the distinction.

Posted by: Mike Hammer, etc., etc. at December 17, 2014 09:15 PM (kgisg)

781
You know how in the US, the rule for pilots and alcohol is 24 hours from bottle to throttle?

Aeroflot has VERY strict rules, where the pilot is prohibited from drinking within 24 feet of the aircraft.

Posted by: IllTemperedCur at December 17, 2014 09:16 PM (8v9fw)

782 I'm amazed the American people never turned on the Obama's for playing the race card as much as they have, I honestly thought that schtick would have even Democrats running from it.

Posted by: Altec at December 17, 2014 09:17 PM (13G+x)

783 "I'll never forget the ashen, terrified face of a man entering the maw of
hell that is Sephora. He kept gawping like the fish out of water he
was. He turned to me, a female, in desperation and I said "give me your
list and wait right here".

Eris, you earned yourself a plenary indulgence for that one.

Posted by: Annalucia at December 17, 2014 09:17 PM (a5bF3)

784 I just noticed I have a black stove and refridgerator. You know what that means,.

Posted by: Chavez the Hugo at December 17, 2014 09:17 PM (ucDmr)

785 A grandma stopped me on the street and asked directions to a bank. I mean, just because I'm a white guy doesn't mean I'm a banker. Stop the racism!

I blame her white privileged and the bag marked $$$ I was holding.

The top hat and black pencil thin mustache might have contributed as well.

But mostly straight up racism.

Posted by: Mr. Feverhead at December 17, 2014 09:17 PM (i0vkQ)

786 *puts same sticker on the front bumper of my car*
Posted by: Jane D'oh at December 17, 2014 09:13 PM (FsuaD)

Man, I need to design a removable bumper cover so the Horde could do stuff like this without having to scrape off a bumper sticker one tiny strip at a time. Think of the potential! I could be a Thousandaire.

*Puffs chest*

Posted by: ManWithNoParty, unperson from Free Market Jesus Paradise at December 17, 2014 09:17 PM (5kNXS)

787 This story is so ridiculous. Doing a good deed for a stranger is one of the easiest day-brighteners around. Honestly, getting something down off a shelf for someone else is so easy, but you feel like a better person for having helped somebody out. And having a stranger cheerfully help you restores your faith in mankind. This is just so dumb, and I feel sorry for Michelle that instead of being happy that she was able to help someone out, she views this interaction as an insult.

Just today I had to carry three heavy boxes from my office to my car. I stacked the boxes up near the elevator and when the elevator came there was an older man who kept the elevator door open while I dragged the boxes in one at a time. He apologized that he couldn't carry the boxes for me because he had damaged his hand. When we got to the ground floor he again kept the elevator open while I carried the boxes, one at a time, to the main door. I left the boxes by the door and drove my car up to the door. The man had exited the building, but came back and held the door open while I carried the boxes to my car, one by one. At the time I thought it was one of those nice human-to-human moments where one person helps out another, but the guy was Asian so really it was all RAAAACISM!

Posted by: biancaneve at December 17, 2014 09:17 PM (6Turu)

788 We're watching Professor Xavier be Scrooge on the teevee.
Spirit of ONT future, wheeere aaare youuuuu....

Posted by: @votermom at December 17, 2014 09:17 PM (cbfNE)

789 If its out of Mooch's reach she can just use her bat'leth to get it.

Posted by: Insomniac at December 17, 2014 09:17 PM (mx5oN)

790 The guy built the '55 in his barn.

Therein lies the distinction.

Posted by: Mike Hammer, etc., etc. at December 17, 2014 09:15 PM (kgisg)




I still think we'll be OK.

http://tinyurl.com/q43yu8u

Posted by: GGE of the Moron Horde, NC Chapter at December 17, 2014 09:18 PM (6fyGz)

791 Of course, I'm over 6'2" with gorilla arms and can reach my own damn vodka.

Posted by: Erowmero at December 17, 2014 09:18 PM (go5uR)

792 how all you racist, hatin' mofos doin' tonight?

Posted by: Peaches at December 17, 2014 09:19 PM (6uib1)

793 how all you racist, hatin' mofos doin' tonight?


Posted by: Peaches at December 17, 2014 09:19 PM (6uib1)



Just lookin' fo all de white wimmin...

Posted by: GGE of the Moron Horde, NC Chapter at December 17, 2014 09:21 PM (6fyGz)

794 Peaches!

Posted by: Jane D'oh at December 17, 2014 09:21 PM (FsuaD)

795 Posted by: Jane D'oh at December 17, 2014 07:08 PM (FsuaD)

If I had a dollar for every time someone asked my tall long-armed self to hand them down something off a shelf, we could all retire. If she had had any manners at all, she'd have gotten it down for the lady without being asked.

As far as ace's phobia, you know us Southerners tend to get in 5 minute conversations with total strangers in the grocery store over things like how sad we still are that we can't get White Lily flour any more. I certainly hope no one would be afraid to ask me where the coriander was.

Posted by: Tammy al-Thor at December 17, 2014 09:21 PM (725ye)

796 Peaches! Doing great. Tomorrow is my Fiday, so extra racist tonite.

Posted by: Chavez the Hugo at December 17, 2014 09:21 PM (ucDmr)

797 Aeroflot has VERY strict rules, where the pilot is prohibited from drinking within 24 feet of the aircraft.

Da, very strict.

*inserts vodka IV*

Posted by: Russian Pilot at December 17, 2014 09:21 PM (0NdlF)

798 Hi Peaches, How was your day?

Posted by: ALH at December 17, 2014 09:21 PM (btTLZ)

799 PEACHES!

Posted by: Tammy al-Thor at December 17, 2014 09:21 PM (725ye)

800 Peaches!!!

How you doin'?

Posted by: AltonJackson at December 17, 2014 09:21 PM (KCxzN)

801 I honestly thought that schtick would have even Democrats running from it.

Posted by: Altec at December 17, 2014 09:17 PM (13G+x)


Delete Democrats and insert (D)Marxists.

Makes sense now, don' it?

Posted by: 98ZJUSMC Suntanning in Bizarro World at December 17, 2014 09:22 PM (UtwNa)

802 What is looting etiquette as far as asking someone to hand you an item?

Posted by: Minnfidel at December 17, 2014 09:22 PM (bXdYS)

803 D'oh!!!! What an absolute pleasure to see you, my darlin'! Been far too long. xoxo!

Posted by: Peaches at December 17, 2014 09:22 PM (6uib1)

804 As far as ace's phobia, you know us Southerners tend
to get in 5 minute conversations with total strangers in the grocery
store over things like how sad we still are that we can't get White Lily
flour any more. I certainly hope no one would be afraid to ask me where
the coriander was.

Posted by: Tammy al-Thor at December 17, 2014 09:21 PM (725ye)



One of the things I love about the South. No strangers, just folks you haven't met yet.

Posted by: GGE of the Moron Horde, NC Chapter at December 17, 2014 09:22 PM (6fyGz)

805

Vagisil, *shudder*: when my wife and I were in college, we went camping together. We were in our sleeping bags, and I was going to brush my teeth. I asked her for some, and she hands me her dop kit. I dug around, and pulled out the "tooth-paste." That was when toothpaste tubes were still heavy foil. Anyway, it was an ancient tube of Vagisil, and my mouth was numb for 2 days.
Posted by: Brave Sir Robin at December 17, 2014 07:37 PM (5buP


Got the best oral I've ever had that weekend.....*sigh*

Posted by: Sir Robin's Brave Wife at December 17, 2014 09:22 PM (KAmzK)

806 Putin: 1
Obama: 0

Fracking: 1
Putin: 0

Posted by: Splunge at December 17, 2014 09:22 PM (qyomX)

807 OK, now I am really confused.

I am a middle aged non-African non Latino non Asian.

I was at the grocery store today, and an older African American woman approached me and asked if I was done checking out at the self check out yet. I said no. She handed me a coupon for $1.50 off and said she did not buy enough items to earn the coupon, and I could have it, since it expired tomorrow. I said thank you and used it.

Reverse Racism?

/oh God, what world do we live in now?

Posted by: shibumi who is exceptionally cynical today at December 17, 2014 09:23 PM (q9alm)

808 TAMMY!!!!! I heard you're gettin' a tractor for Christmas - you musta sucked up to Santa something fierce, girl. Kudos!!

Posted by: Peaches at December 17, 2014 09:23 PM (6uib1)

809 802: Don't ask, just tear down the damn shelf. We be lootin, remeber?

Posted by: Chavez the Hugo at December 17, 2014 09:24 PM (ucDmr)

810 >>>how all you racist, hatin' mofos doin' tonight?


Posted by: Peaches at December 17, 2014 09:19 PM (6uib1)<<<

We'ew aww white.

Posted by: racist, hatin' Elmer Fudd at December 17, 2014 09:24 PM (qfd4W)

811 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uWu4aynBK7E

Posted by: GGE of the Moron Horde, NC Chapter at December 17, 2014 09:24 PM (6fyGz)

812 As far as ace's phobia, you know us Southerners tend
to get in 5 minute conversations with total strangers in the grocery
store over things like how sad we still are that we can't get White Lily
flour any more. I certainly hope no one would be afraid to ask me where
the coriander was.

Posted by: Tammy al-Thor at December 17, 2014 09:21 PM (725ye)


A Yankee friend was visiting us from Illinois several years ago.

I'm standing in line at Kroger, and strike up a conversation with the black lady in front of me about, I can't remember. We're chuckling and talking.

My Yankee friend, aghast, says, "Do you know that woman??"

That's the difference between the New South and liberal Yankeeland.


Me: "No." She was beyond shocked.

Posted by: Jane D'oh at December 17, 2014 09:24 PM (FsuaD)

813 Hi Peaches!

Kinda in a funk because of Sony's cowardice.

Reminds me - a lot - of Rushdie. "Satanic Verses" wasn't all that great of a book. And it had some nasty things to say about us English. So on some level, yeah, maybe this isn't the hill to die on...

... until you realise that this IS the hill to die on.

... ... until you realise that the point isn't whether or not the book is all that, or whether or not the author is all that. What is all that, is the right to say whatever you want to say, or reading what you want to read, without some murderous bastard leveraging his "honour" to suppress you from saying it or reading it.

I'm literally in tears here.

Posted by: boulder terlit hobo at December 17, 2014 09:25 PM (AVEe1)

814 Hey, Chavez! Hey, ALH! Hey, AltonJackson! Now you've made me feel all warm and fuzzy. That doesn't happen by accident. {blushes}

Posted by: Peaches at December 17, 2014 09:25 PM (6uib1)

815 807 OK, now I am really confused.

I am a middle aged non-African non Latino non Asian.

I was at the grocery store today, and an older African American woman approached me and asked if I was done checking out at the self check out yet. I said no. She handed me a coupon for $1.50 off and said she did not buy enough items to earn the coupon, and I could have it, since it expired tomorrow. I said thank you and used it.

Reverse Racism?

/oh God, what world do we live in now?
Posted by: shibumi who is exceptionally cynical today at December 17, 2014 09:23 PM (q9alm)

Great.

You just added another $1.50 to the reparations tab.

Good one.

Posted by: eman at December 17, 2014 09:25 PM (MQEz6)

816 Well all, must be off to getting my little Minnfidels off to slumber. Good to see you all. Later Haters!

Posted by: Minnfidel at December 17, 2014 09:26 PM (bXdYS)

817 803
D'oh!!!! What an absolute pleasure to see you, my darlin'! Been far too long. xoxo!


Posted by: Peaches at December 17, 2014 09:22 PM (6uib1)


I took a sabbatical. I don't make the ONT very often.

{{hug}}

Posted by: Jane D'oh at December 17, 2014 09:27 PM (FsuaD)

818 I guess I should shut off the "red-neck humidifier" (gumbo pot filled with water over a burner) before I burn the place down...

Posted by: AltonJackson at December 17, 2014 09:27 PM (KCxzN)

819 We'ew aww white.


Posted by: racist, hatin' Elmer Fudd at December 17, 2014 09:24 PM (qfd4W)



http://tinyurl.com/7gsvcr3

Posted by: GGE of the Moron Horde, NC Chapter at December 17, 2014 09:27 PM (6fyGz)

820 818
I guess I should shut off the "red-neck humidifier" (gumbo pot filled with water over a burner) before I burn the place down...

Posted by: AltonJackson at December 17, 2014 09:27 PM (KCxzN)


Don't burn the roux!!!!!

Posted by: Jane D'oh at December 17, 2014 09:28 PM (FsuaD)

821 Yes I am, girl! A subcompact. I am so damned excited. GOt Thor a side-by-side, which is probably too small for his feet, but it's the thought that counts, right?!

And there'd better still be plenty for me to unwrap or the sucking will stop post haste!

I keed, I keed.

How are you? Your Feline Overlords? Have you sent Tommy a bar of soap to appease all the pearl clutchers??

Posted by: Tammy al-Thor at December 17, 2014 09:29 PM (725ye)

822 There is a benefit to dressing like a Target employee.

If you are barking mad


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1k1G0zRtHto

Posted by: Kindltot at December 17, 2014 09:29 PM (t//F+)

823 You guys ever fixed beef ribs with sauerkraut in the crockpot?

Posted by: ALH at December 17, 2014 09:29 PM (btTLZ)

824 Jeebus: Fox playing Mooch talking about the short woman asking her to reach for detergent on the tall shelf.

On Letterman.

Posted by: Jane D'oh at December 17, 2014 09:29 PM (FsuaD)

825 Posted by: boulder terlit hobo at December 17, 2014 09:25 PM (AVEe1)

dood, are you also a victim of Sony's perfidy? because I drive by Sony a minimum of twice a day (it's a couple blocks down the street). so, naturally, some of my friends at the pub work there. sony had a warning about this shit, some months back. did nothing. employees have been given a letter advising them how to contact Experian and the other two and sort out their shit. SRSLY, SONY??? why didn't Sony just contact them with EVERY ss# that's been compromised and pay for protection? apparently there is already a mother of all class action suits being filed or prepared for the former employees, none of whom even had the courtesy of an "oops" communication. srsly, fuck sony. they have ruined the lives of 47,000 people world-wide and most of those folks' relatives and friends. and they ain't doin' shit about it.

Posted by: Peaches at December 17, 2014 09:29 PM (6uib1)

826 Alton, is it a black pot?

Posted by: Chavez the Hugo at December 17, 2014 09:29 PM (ucDmr)

827 Whomever the woman who is accusing Ray Macdonald of rape is, it isn't the wookie.

Posted by: torabora at December 17, 2014 09:30 PM (9dSsW)

828 >>>http://tinyurl.com/7gsvcr3

Posted by: GGE of the Moron Horde, NC Chapter at December 17, 2014 09:27 PM (6fyGz)<<<

Vewwy, vewwy afwaid to cwick.

Posted by: racist, hatin' Elmer Fudd at December 17, 2014 09:30 PM (qfd4W)

829
Doing a good deed for a stranger is one of the easiest day-brighteners around.

Posted by: biancaneve at December 17, 2014 09:17 PM (6Turu)










Yup. My standard response is to say "You're welcome. Good, that's my one good deed of the month, now I can be mean and nasty until the first!"

Best part is, they THINK I'm kidding. *shifty eyes*

Posted by: IllTemperedCur at December 17, 2014 09:30 PM (8v9fw)

830 A Rushdie translator literally DIED to get his work to foreign audiences

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hitoshi_Igarashi

Posted by: boulder terlit hobo at December 17, 2014 09:31 PM (AVEe1)

831 I'm literally in tears here.
Posted by: boulder terlit hobo at December 17, 2014 09:25 PM (AVEe1)

Yea, it is so gut wrenching.

I'd like to think it's as much about Sony fearing being sued if they go forward and something does happen and people get killed, but even so, the terrorists win.

Posted by: Tammy al-Thor at December 17, 2014 09:31 PM (725ye)

832 OK guys... I'm done for the day.

Remember.... according to the First Family..... absolutely no asking blacks for help in Target.... and DEFINITELY no handing your car keys to strange black men.

Posted by: fixerupper at December 17, 2014 09:32 PM (wFSLW)

833 I got here late, but I have to say, Michelle has EVERYTHING and she's still whining.
She seems like one of those people that no matter what she has is always going to be pissing and groaning.

I don't even think this is about her obsession with American being raaaacist. I think it's just her awful personality.

Posted by: nerdygirl at December 17, 2014 09:33 PM (2pq7O)

834 Vewwy, vewwy afwaid to cwick.


Posted by: racist, hatin' Elmer Fudd at December 17, 2014 09:30 PM (qfd4W)


That's because you are a very wise shotgun totin' big hat wearing guy...but this one is OK, I promise. *nibbles carrot* Ya trust me, don'tcha Doc?

Posted by: GGE of the Moron Horde, NC Chapter at December 17, 2014 09:33 PM (6fyGz)

835 Bitch is seven feet tall. What does she expect?

(Hi. Longtime no see.)

Posted by: baldilocks at December 17, 2014 09:33 PM (GE9Jc)

836 Don't burn the roux!!!!!

Posted by: Jane D'oh at December 17, 2014 09:28 PM


My wisk hand is strong...

I should tell you about my Alfredo sauce...

Posted by: AltonJackson at December 17, 2014 09:33 PM (KCxzN)

837 "The other day I was standing outside of a restaurant and some people
came out and handed me their car keys and a big bag of money. They said
keep it as a gift. Being a person of whiteness rocks balls!"

It's like when I'm out driving, and I get pulled over for speeding, and the cop asks to see my license, and I say, "Oh, my *license*, right?" with a big broad wink.

And then I instead quietly pull out my White Guy Card.

At which point he decides to "let me off with a warning".

And calls me "Sir," of course. I love that part.

Sometimes I'll quietly ask how he intends to make his ticket quota without me, and he'll confide that he'll just go pull someone over for driving while black, and write them up for everything he can find. Haw! Haw!

White Guy Card. Don't leave home without it.

Posted by: torquewrench at December 17, 2014 09:33 PM (noWW6)

838
*Peaches*

Posted by: IllTemperedCur at December 17, 2014 09:33 PM (8v9fw)

839 She should be happy they didn't ask her where the Weight Watchers' (R) meeting was.

Posted by: Baldy at December 17, 2014 09:34 PM (+35FH)

840 I read a piece once which suggested that people are statistically more likely to ask a blonde woman for help than anyone else. In my experience, this applies particularly to people asking for handouts. Or about the difference between jam and preserves. Or Muslim men asking if the ground beef is really pork.

Posted by: KTbarthedoor at December 17, 2014 09:34 PM (qahv/)

841 Baldi! How are you????

Posted by: Tammy al-Thor at December 17, 2014 09:34 PM (725ye)

842 Hey baldilocks, good to see you.

Posted by: no good deed at December 17, 2014 09:34 PM (w3a0Z)

843 waves wildly at ITC!!!! still a national treasure, I see . . .

Posted by: Peaches at December 17, 2014 09:35 PM (6uib1)

844
*Baldilocks*

Posted by: IllTemperedCur at December 17, 2014 09:35 PM (8v9fw)

845 omg, baldilocks!!! mwah!!!

Posted by: Peaches at December 17, 2014 09:35 PM (6uib1)

846 In Rudolph the Red nosed Reindeer they get the Abominable Snowman to put the Star on top of the Christmas Tree.

Posted by: Boss Moss at December 17, 2014 09:35 PM (wVBo0)

847
Hey Peaches, don't jump off the shrimp boat.

Posted by: IllTemperedCur at December 17, 2014 09:36 PM (8v9fw)

848 Shouldn't

Posted by: Baldy at December 17, 2014 09:36 PM (+35FH)

849 Hi, baldilocks. Good to see some more heavy hitters here at the HQ.

Posted by: Lincolntf at December 17, 2014 09:37 PM (2cS/G)

850 (Hi. Longtime no see.)



Posted by: baldilocks at December 17, 2014 09:33 PM (GE9Jc)


*waves and blows kisses*

Posted by: Jane D'oh at December 17, 2014 09:37 PM (FsuaD)

851 hey, baldilocks

good to see you again

Posted by: AltonJackson at December 17, 2014 09:37 PM (KCxzN)

852 In Rudolph the Red nosed Reindeer they get the Abominable Snowman to put the Star on top of the Christmas Tree.


Posted by: Boss Moss at December 17, 2014 09:35 PM
...................Everyone knows Bumbles Bitch!

Posted by: Yukon Cornelius at December 17, 2014 09:38 PM (bXdYS)

853 Okay, Horde. I'm outta here. Ya'll behave, if possible.

Posted by: Jane D'oh at December 17, 2014 09:38 PM (FsuaD)

854 Okay, you guys have convinced me to come out from my Yankee hibernation cellar and say "Hi, everybody!"

Posted by: bergerbilder at December 17, 2014 09:39 PM (8MjqI)

855 Good night, D'oh!!! I have been quite hit or miss here lately too, but tonight is like old home week. I wish you and your wonderful family a happy and blessed Christmas!

Posted by: Peaches at December 17, 2014 09:39 PM (6uib1)

856 Good Night, Jane.

Posted by: ALH at December 17, 2014 09:40 PM (btTLZ)

857 Here's the thing. If that is the worst form of racism either of them has experienced, they can count themselves lucky.

I think about little bitty girls who got killed when someone bombed their CHURCH, who got spit on for going to school, of people who had DOGS SET ON THEM for marching, of people cowering in bushes and hiding in a god damned SWAMP for days on end while some fuckers burnt their town to the ground, about a man who got DRAGGED TO DEATH behind a truck so bad he was in pieces all up and down the road just a few years ago, and then I hear this heifer whining about having to help some old lady in Target and I could PUKE.

Posted by: Tammy al-Thor at December 17, 2014 09:40 PM (725ye)

858 SD does Speaker for the Dead, and you might cry:

http://theconservativetreehouse.com/2014/12/17/who-buys-14-in-gas-jessicas-story/

My hat is off to SD.

Posted by: taqiyyologist at December 17, 2014 09:40 PM (1AgbC)

859 bergerbilder!!!!! bout time you came out and played again!

Posted by: Tammy al-Thor at December 17, 2014 09:40 PM (725ye)

860 *blows nighty nite kisses to Horde*

Posted by: Jane D'oh at December 17, 2014 09:41 PM (FsuaD)

861 .....Everyone knows Bumbles Bitch!

Posted by: Yukon Cornelius at December 17, 2014 09:38 PM


I knew Bumbles Bitch in the biblical sense...

self denouncing in 3...2...1...

Posted by: AltonJackson at December 17, 2014 09:41 PM (KCxzN)

862 I bent over in the spice department looking for xanthan gum when a guy walked up and asked me where the plumbing department was.

Posted by: Joe at December 17, 2014 09:41 PM (8L7/J)

863 g'night, Jane

Posted by: AltonJackson at December 17, 2014 09:42 PM (KCxzN)

864 night, Jane!!!! Sleep sweet!

Posted by: Tammy al-Thor at December 17, 2014 09:43 PM (725ye)

865 How is it that the media has not found and strangled for our snuff film viewing pleasure the thrice cursed sub-human that made this racist verbal assault on the Still First Lady Bitches?

Posted by: TexasDan at December 17, 2014 09:43 PM (mtEv6)

866 Posted by: Tammy al-Thor at December 17, 2014 09:40 PM (725ye)

standing ovation, Tammy, well said!

Posted by: Peaches at December 17, 2014 09:43 PM (6uib1)

867 Just got in from the cold so I didn't read the post or the comments but

Pro-tip: Never ask a tall scowling woman wearing a red Che shirt for assistance, even if she actually is a Target employee!

Posted by: Hrothgar at December 17, 2014 09:45 PM (fL/7/)

868 857: that should be required reading for all the commies in the media. Well said.

Posted by: Chavez the Hugo at December 17, 2014 09:46 PM (ucDmr)

869

Putin: 1
Obama: 0

Fracking: 1
Putin: 0
Posted by: Splunge at December 17, 2014 09:22 PM (qyomX)


New York: 1
Fracking: 0

Posted by: Bertram Cabot Jr. at December 17, 2014 09:46 PM (W5DcG)

870 I think about little bitty girls who got killed when someone bombed their CHURCH, who got spit on for going to school, of people who had DOGS SET ON THEM for marching, of people cowering in bushes and hiding in a god damned SWAMP for days on end while some fuckers burnt their town to the ground, about a man who got DRAGGED TO DEATH behind a truck so bad he was in pieces all up and down the road just a few years ago, and then I hear this heifer whining about having to help some old lady in Target and I could PUKE.

Posted by: Tammy al-Thor at December 17, 2014 09:40 PM


do you have an un-married sister / cousin / whatever?

Cut / jib / newsletter?

Posted by: AltonJackson at December 17, 2014 09:47 PM (KCxzN)

871 Posted by: TexasDan at December 17, 2014 09:43 PM (mtEv6)


I think right at the time she apologized and said she didn't have her glasses on, so she didn't realize she should have prostrated herself, rather than ask for help.

Posted by: Tammy al-Thor at December 17, 2014 09:47 PM (725ye)

872 900 comments or bust

Posted by: Mr. Moo Moo at December 17, 2014 09:48 PM (0LHZx)

873 taqiyyologist - i sent that link to Orson Scott Card's website

Posted by: boulder terlit hobo at December 17, 2014 09:48 PM (AVEe1)

874 True story, when I was 14, browsing in the Menswear department of Nordstom on 5th Avenue in NYC, a woman asked me if I worked there. I was so thrilled that I dressed well enough and held myself with enough confidence that I was mistaken for a Nordstrom salesperson. I was very fashion conscious (and simply a vacationing Canadian), it was a highlight of my trip.

Michelle should be proud, most of us think she's a carpetbagger, that someone thought she actually worked for a living should have been a Nirvana moment.

Posted by: Brian in BC at December 17, 2014 09:49 PM (y8GrP)

875 Kisses back to you all. You too, Ace.

Holy Cow, 800 comments? I'm going to see what else is on the front page and wait for a new thread.

Posted by: baldilocks at December 17, 2014 09:49 PM (GE9Jc)

876 I really like these whole wheat dinner rolls that they sell at the Kroger. I wonder if they are hard to bake.

Posted by: Boss Moss at December 17, 2014 09:49 PM (wVBo0)

877 Thanks, Tammy! Been in a funk lately, and i'm trying to work my way throught it. Another 4-5 months should do it.

Posted by: bergerbilder at December 17, 2014 09:50 PM (8MjqI)

878 This is utter BS by Her Highness. She's a big woman, and it's perfectly natural that someone shorter might ask for help reaching something that was too high to reach otherwise.

As a matter of fact, many years ago I was in a supermarket when a tiny little Vietnamese lady asked me in broken English if I could reach a bottle of some kind of juice on a top shelf. This was completely understandable. I am a woman just short of 5'8" and the lady of whom I speak came to about the level of my ribcage. I felt like a giant beside her. I didn't even hesitate to help her.

Of course, I am white, so naturally no one could possibly call this "racism". On the other hand, the big Moo may be black, but I'd say she is groping around looking for something to be offended over, just like all the rest of the perpetually and professionally offended class.

Get over it, woman. This stuff has gotten so old it smells like a corpse flower.

Posted by: Nancy at December 17, 2014 09:50 PM (iQoIE)

879 Little known fact... I'm a Grand Kleagle.

Posted by: Vern "Mini Me" Troyer at December 17, 2014 09:50 PM (qfd4W)

880 Between Fredo, the selling out of America, and a royal fuck in the Navy that I have to clean up I am so worked up I am not sure I will get much sleep tonight

Posted by: Nevergiveup at December 17, 2014 09:51 PM (nzKvP)

881 "How is it that the media has not found and strangled for our snuff film
viewing pleasure the thrice cursed sub-human that made this racist
verbal assault on the Still First Lady Bitches?"

The possibility must be admitted that this individual never existed. The Obamas have a history of inventing imaginary persons which puts Cory Booker to shame.

Posted by: torquewrench at December 17, 2014 09:51 PM (noWW6)

882 I fly quite a bit and I'm tall. So I get asked to help people put their shit in the overhead bin all the time. All this time I thought it was because I was tall. Turns out it was really because all those short/old people hate white men.

Posted by: Mr. Moo Moo at December 17, 2014 09:52 PM (0LHZx)

883 I have a buddy who is in a wheelchair. He has full use of all his limbs, but his muscles are weak and can't support his (very slight) weight (I hopped up on the back of his chair to ride downhill like you would a shopping cart one time and I wound up on my back with him on top of me asking if I had anymore bright ideas. I did. I took up rollerblades so I could keep up with him going downhill, but then say "Sorry man, I can't push, I'm on 'blades" when we got to the bottom), so he walks his chair around (sits in the chair and propels himself with his feet).

Anyhow, we were out having a few drinks in Towson one night and decided to go to another bar. We were waiting to cross York Rd when this dowager looking lady says to him "Young man, you do so well with being physically challenged". Now, I'll give her her due, she was trying to be nice and offer a compliment, but it came off condescending as hell. My buddy looked up at her, grinned his big I-don't-give-a-fuck grin, and said "Physically challenged? Lady, I'm a fucking cripple!"

The look on her face! Until that moment I didn't know that it was physically possible to laugh so hard you spit up your spleen.

Posted by: Weirddave at December 17, 2014 09:52 PM (KAmzK)

884 You Crackers have no idea what you're talking about. Having that women ask me for assistance brought back all the horrid memories of slavery.

Posted by: Stretch Obama at December 17, 2014 09:52 PM (bXdYS)

885 Michelle, does it eat you up inside that Bill Cosby never tranquilized your hide?

Posted by: That's not RINO skin at December 17, 2014 09:52 PM (KG1MP)

886 831 I'm literally in tears here.
Posted by: boulder terlit hobo at December 17, 2014 09:25 PM (AVEe1)

Yea, it is so gut wrenching.

I'd like to think it's as much about Sony fearing being sued if they go forward and something does happen and people get killed, but even so, the terrorists win.
Posted by: Tammy al-Thor at December 17, 2014 09:31 PM (725ye)


A couple of threads ago someone suggested that maybe the Sony people are afraid that the Nork hackers have some very very nasty information of a sexual nature about the movie bigwigs, and that's the real reason why they're cooperating. I think she may be onto something.

Posted by: rickl at December 17, 2014 09:53 PM (sdi6R)

887 Fox News just reported that some Texas theater is going to be playing Team America: World Police in place of the interview.

'Murica (well, Texas at least)... fuck yeah.

Posted by: Vern at December 17, 2014 09:55 PM (qfd4W)

888 A couple of threads ago someone suggested that maybe the Sony people are afraid that the Nork hackers have some very very nasty information of a sexual nature about the movie bigwigs, and that's the real reason why they're cooperating. I think she may be onto something.

Crazy talk.

Posted by: Bryan Singer at December 17, 2014 09:55 PM (AVEe1)

889 Fox News just reported that some Texas theater is going to be playing Team America: World Police in place of the interview.

Bahaha!

So ronery . . .

Posted by: boulder terlit hobo at December 17, 2014 09:55 PM (AVEe1)

890 RE: Sony sexual emails

I dunno, I think if there were some really juicy sexual emails, that's the first thing they would have released.

Posted by: Mr. Moo Moo at December 17, 2014 09:56 PM (0LHZx)

891 I hope I didn't come across as thinking they should not be bothered by racism. I just meant that none of what they described struck me as racist.

I have my doubts about that valet story. All the valets I have ever seen were all dressed alike and they were not wearing suits. It would be pretty hard to mistake someone for a valet, unless they were wearing the uniform.

So, if he was wearing a white shirt, black pants and was hanging out near valet parking ( smoking a cig, perhaps?) then yea, okay. But that's not racism.

And another thing that irked me about that... the "professional" remark. I gather then, that it's okay for me to assume just a regular ol blue collar black guy is a valet?

And what is the big shame about being a valet anyway??

These are some serious snobs running the joint these days.

Posted by: Tammy al-Thor at December 17, 2014 09:56 PM (725ye)

892 Al Sharpton organizing a march on Target in 3,,,,2,,,,

Posted by: Minnfidel at December 17, 2014 09:56 PM (bXdYS)

893 "Between Fredo, the selling out of America, and a royal fuck in the Navy that I have to clean up I am so worked up I am not sure I will get much sleep tonight"


So, Nevergiveup, you have to swab the deck tonight? Do they still issue bell-bottoms for that?

Posted by: bergerbilder at December 17, 2014 09:57 PM (8MjqI)

894 The fact Sony is Japanese and Koreans hate Japanese with the intensity of 1000 rising suns is a big part of this. That...or the Nokos are just fucking nuts. Or a mix of the two.

In either case, I'm glad Seth Rogen got fucked, I can't stand that guy. James Franco on the other hand....how can you hate James Franco? He's the one guy in all of this I feel bad for.

Posted by: Mr. Moo Moo at December 17, 2014 09:58 PM (0LHZx)

895 I think she may be onto something.
Posted by: rickl at December 17, 2014 09:53 PM (sdi6R)


Then it's Disney and all the pedophiles there they need to go after.

Posted by: Tammy al-Thor at December 17, 2014 09:59 PM (725ye)

896 So, Nevergiveup, you have to swab the deck tonight? Do they still issue bell-bottoms for that?
Posted by: bergerbilder at December 17, 2014 09:57 PM (8MjqI)

No I have to clean up someone else's fuck up and use up some of hard earned good will.

Posted by: Nevergiveup at December 17, 2014 09:59 PM (nzKvP)

897 The movie now will generate more interest than it probably ever deserved. I know the only way I would have seen this movie is if there was a snow storm coming and all Redbox had left was this or a Michael Moore movie.

Posted by: Minnfidel at December 17, 2014 10:00 PM (bXdYS)

898 I mistakenly axed Moooochelle to empty my bedpan.......

Posted by: Trunk Monkey at December 17, 2014 10:01 PM (jucos)

899 900?

Posted by: Peaches at December 17, 2014 10:01 PM (6uib1)

900 >>> Had a friend who lived in an apartment building that was converted from an old Planter's Peanut factory.

From this first line I was expecting that this was one of Seamus' shaggy dog stories.

Posted by: fluffy at December 17, 2014 10:01 PM (Ua6T/)

901 dammit!

Posted by: Peaches at December 17, 2014 10:01 PM (6uib1)

902 Posted by: Tammy al-Thor at December 17, 2014 09:56 PM (725ye)

_________

2007....Raleigh, NC.

I'm at a gas station heading to the airport after a meeting. I'm wearing a navy blue suit with a white shirt. Due next to me (a black guy) asks me if I'm a preacher. I ask, what? He says are you a preacher? I said uhm, no why would you think I'm a preacher? He says, oh just the suit you're wearing, made me think you were a preacher.

I thought that was kinda weird, but whatever. Had it been the other way around he'd probably be screaming about how racist I am.

Posted by: Mr. Moo Moo at December 17, 2014 10:01 PM (0LHZx)

903 In either case, I'm glad Seth Rogen got fucked, I can't stand that guy.

That's not the point.

You are sounding like the rightwing people who threw Rushdie under the bus back when rightwing people didn't like Rushdie.

I'm pretty far rightwing myself. (In many ways too far rightwing for the Horde in fact.) There are some principles that are beyond siding with Team Red. Far beyond.

Posted by: boulder terlit hobo at December 17, 2014 10:02 PM (AVEe1)

904 900?
Posted by: Peaches at December 17, 2014 10:01 PM (6uib1)

Nope. 900 for sure here. No? Damnit!

Posted by: ManWithNoParty, unperson from Free Market Jesus Paradise at December 17, 2014 10:03 PM (5kNXS)

905 America's new Motto: Hide under the Bed

Posted by: Nevergiveup at December 17, 2014 10:03 PM (nzKvP)

906 She's a special kind of snowflake, one that's perpetually offended.

She can jam it up her ass and stay that way because it's fairly obvious nothing is going to sway her attitude, f'in bitch.

What's worse is she thinks she knows how to make children eat healthy food, which is totally bullshit. She has a SJW whispering in her ear on how to do this and they have a major ax to grind against healthy children, hence the bullshit meals being forced on schoolchildren everywhere. I wonder how many conservatives she's creating by doing this.

Posted by: Gmac- who is tired of all this at December 17, 2014 10:04 PM (baiNQ)

907 Shelter in place.

Posted by: Boss Moss at December 17, 2014 10:04 PM (wVBo0)

908 You are sounding like the rightwing people who threw Rushdie under the bus back when rightwing people didn't like Rushdie.

I'm pretty far rightwing myself. (In many ways too far rightwing for the Horde in fact.) There are some principles that are beyond siding with Team Red. Far beyond.
Posted by: boulder terlit hobo at December 17, 2014 10:02 PM (AVEe1)

___________

Whatevehs. I have a hard time generating too much sympathy for these Hollywood cunts..actors, Sony execs, all of them. Remember these people for the most part think communism is a good thing. Well now they get to experience the joy that is communism. So fuck them.

Posted by: Mr. Moo Moo at December 17, 2014 10:04 PM (0LHZx)

909 895: Tammy I hate Disney as much as the norks hate Japan.

Posted by: Chavez the Hugo at December 17, 2014 10:05 PM (ucDmr)

910 So I never even knew Sony had a movie studio. Is it called something else?

Posted by: mugiwara at December 17, 2014 10:05 PM (3a584)

911 Someone said in an earlier thread that Seth Rogan should be used to releasing Bombs in Theaters at this point.

Posted by: Trunk Monkey at December 17, 2014 10:06 PM (jucos)

912 Really early ONTs are going to average out the ONT time with really late one?

Posted by: I want my... I want my O N T at December 17, 2014 10:06 PM (lN8KC)

913 Posted by: Mr. Moo Moo at December 17, 2014 10:01 PM (0LHZx)

Exactly.

Some people do make assumptions based on what you wear as much as anything else.

Years ago I had to quit wearing polo shirts anywhere but for my job at the Y, because women kept asking me out.

Posted by: Tammy al-Thor at December 17, 2014 10:06 PM (725ye)

914 Someone Asked Me to Reach Something for Them

"Hey, lady, my arms are full and my ballz itch..."

Posted by: A Target Hobo at December 17, 2014 10:06 PM (FcR7P)

915 So I never even knew Sony had a movie studio. Is it called something else?
Posted by: mugiwara at December 17, 2014 10:05 PM (3a584)

*****

Sony Pictures USA.

Posted by: ManWithNoParty, unperson from Free Market Jesus Paradise at December 17, 2014 10:07 PM (z2f1n)

916 I have a hard time generating too much sympathy for these Hollywood cunts

It's not about sympathy for Sony, it's about giving in to terrorism like this.

Posted by: Tammy al-Thor at December 17, 2014 10:07 PM (725ye)

917 Years ago I had to quit wearing polo shirts anywhere but for my job at the Y, because women kept asking me out.

Posted by: Tammy al-Thor at December 17, 2014 10:06 PM (725ye)


At least they had good taste...

Posted by: The Political Hat at December 17, 2014 10:08 PM (lN8KC)

918 [adjusting Cloak of Invisibility]

I was never here. You never saw me. Said Admiral Painter as he pushed the red button that detonated the torpedo prematurely.

Posted by: Incongruent Heretic at December 17, 2014 10:08 PM (dF7zr)

919 Tristar?

Posted by: Boss Moss at December 17, 2014 10:08 PM (wVBo0)

920 Someone said in an earlier thread that Seth Rogan should be used to releasing Bombs in Theaters at this point.
Posted by: Trunk Monkey at December 17, 2014 10:06 PM (jucos)



I'm so stealing that line.

Posted by: James Franco at December 17, 2014 10:08 PM (3a584)

921 Posted by: A Target Hobo at December 17, 2014 10:06 PM (FcR7P)


OMG, I choked on my Coke!

Posted by: Tammy al-Thor at December 17, 2014 10:08 PM (725ye)

922 So I never even knew Sony had a movie studio. Is it called something else?
Posted by: mugiwara at December 17, 2014 10:05 PM (3a584)


My bitch.

Posted by: Kim Jong Un at December 17, 2014 10:08 PM (lN8KC)

923 Peaches, I grabbed 900 (is that something now?) because I was pure of heart.

Posted by: fluffy at December 17, 2014 10:09 PM (Ua6T/)

924 and that's the real reason why they're cooperating.

If that's the case, there'll be no end to the demands.

Posted by: t-bird at December 17, 2014 10:09 PM (FcR7P)

925 Posted by: The Political Hat at December 17, 2014 10:08 PM (lN8KC)

Posted by: Tammy al-Thor at December 17, 2014 10:09 PM (725ye)

926 Hard on the hamsters to refresh these long threads.

Posted by: Boss Moss at December 17, 2014 10:10 PM (wVBo0)

927 Months before President Obama announced on Wednesday that he is seeking to do away with decades of U.S. economic sanctions against the communist regime in Cuba, Russia concluded a security deal with Havana aimed at bolstering intelligence and military ties to the island dictatorship.


Thanks Fredo

Posted by: Nevergiveup at December 17, 2014 10:10 PM (nzKvP)

928 Whatevehs. I have a hard time generating too much
sympathy for these Hollywood cunts..actors, Sony execs, all of them.
Remember these people for the most part think communism is a good thing.
Well now they get to experience the joy that is communism. So fuck
them.

Posted by: Mr. Moo Moo at December 17, 2014 10:04 PM (0LHZx)


Principles matter. It's left that believes the ends justify the means, not us.
I don't have any particular sympathy for them either, but means used against them, once established, can be used against us.

Posted by: Just some guy at December 17, 2014 10:11 PM (yxw0r)

929 I have the same phobia. It sucks. I think it's just an offshoot of general social anxiety, for me at least, I don't know you man. I pretty much don't like asking strangers anything.

Posted by: matt at December 17, 2014 10:11 PM (jIR9p)

930 So I never even knew Sony had a movie studio. Is it called something else?
Posted by: mugiwara at December 17, 2014 10:05 PM (3a584)

___________

Sony bought Columbia/Tri-Star a while back.

Posted by: Mr. Moo Moo at December 17, 2014 10:11 PM (0LHZx)

931 >>> Hard on the hamsters

What?!? Who said that? They're lying, lying I say!

Posted by: Richard Gere at December 17, 2014 10:12 PM (Ua6T/)

932 So I never even knew Sony had a movie studio. Is it called something else?

Posted by: mugiwara at December 17, 2014 10:05 PM (3a584)

*****

Sony Pictures USA.
Posted by: ManWithNoParty, unperson from Free Market Jesus Paradise at December 17, 2014 10:07 PM (z2f1n)



They new or just put out crap? First I've ever heard of them.

Posted by: mugiwara at December 17, 2014 10:12 PM (3a584)

933 There is absolutely no point in giving in to blackmail. It will never stop.

They need to start determining what the worst possible shit is that these clowns have on them, and start planning damage control now.

But since Liberals are pussies, they will give in.

Posted by: Tammy al-Thor at December 17, 2014 10:12 PM (725ye)

934 It would be really easy to troll everyone by announcing the ONT right now.

Is that a banning offense? Theoretically?

Posted by: TexasDan at December 17, 2014 10:12 PM (mtEv6)

935
So I never even knew Sony had a movie studio. Is it called something else?

Posted by: mugiwara at December 17, 2014 10:05 PM (3a584)






Columbia, TriStar, Sony Pictures Classics and MGM for starters.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sony_Pictures_Entertainment

Posted by: IllTemperedCur at December 17, 2014 10:12 PM (8v9fw)

936 Really early ONTs are going to average out the ONT time with really late one?

Posted by: I want my... I want my O N T at December 17, 2014 10:06 PM


maybe you should go ask Mæt on Twitter...he really likes the human touch...

Ask, then duck

trust me

Posted by: AltonJackson at December 17, 2014 10:12 PM (KCxzN)

937 Sony bought Columbia/Tri-Star a while back.

Posted by: Mr. Moo Moo at December 17, 2014 10:11 PM (0LHZx)

Ok, these I've heard of.

Posted by: mugiwara at December 17, 2014 10:13 PM (3a584)

938 926
Hard on the hamsters to refresh these long threads.


Posted by: Boss Moss

I use puppy uppers, seems to do the trick.

Posted by: Gmac- who is tired of all this at December 17, 2014 10:13 PM (baiNQ)

939 Years ago I had to quit wearing polo shirts anywhere but for my job at the Y, because women kept asking me out.

Posted by: Tammy al-Thor at December 17, 2014 10:06 PM (725ye)

****

Wow. Some of my fondest, non rapey or cisnormative memories from my arguably misspent youth include girls in Polo shirts. Of course, this was the early to Mid 80s. That which is old does not always become new again, I guess. The leggings and long sweater look, along with jeans tucked into boots return does warm the cockles of my black heart these days though.

Posted by: ManWithNoParty, unperson from Free Market Jesus Paradise at December 17, 2014 10:14 PM (z2f1n)

940 Principles matter. It's left that believes the ends justify the means, not us.
I don't have any particular sympathy for them either, but means used against them, once established, can be used against us.
Posted by: Just some guy at December 17, 2014 10:11 PM (yxw0r)

_______

They're already doing it to us. Need I remind you about the IRS targeting conservative groups?

Posted by: Mr. Moo Moo at December 17, 2014 10:14 PM (0LHZx)

941 Show the movie.

Theaters get bombed.

Nuke NK into a glow-in-the-dark parking lot.

Posted by: eman at December 17, 2014 10:15 PM (MQEz6)

942 Years ago I had to quit wearing polo shirts anywhere but for my job at the Y, because women kept asking me out.


oh, girl, I was off watching Jeopardy, came back and saw that. falling all about laughing!

Posted by: Peaches at December 17, 2014 10:15 PM (6uib1)

943 In a way I feel sorry for Moochelle since she has wasted her life feeling angry, and there in so much in life to be joyful for. And she will go to her grave as someone who was so blessed materially, but just had a bad attitude about life.

Posted by: bergerbilder at December 17, 2014 10:16 PM (8MjqI)

944 941 Show the movie.

Theaters get bombed.

Nuke NK into a glow-in-the-dark parking lot.

Posted by: eman at December 17, 2014 10:15 PM (MQEz6)

___________

Yeah right. If some shit were to go down, Obama would be on the phone that night apologizing to the Norks for offending them with a movie. Probably jail the producer too.

Posted by: Mr. Moo Moo at December 17, 2014 10:17 PM (0LHZx)

945 944 941 Show the movie.

Theaters get bombed.

Nuke NK into a glow-in-the-dark parking lot.

Posted by: eman at December 17, 2014 10:15 PM (MQEz6)

___________

Yeah right. If some shit were to go down, Obama would be on the phone that night apologizing to the Norks for offending them with a movie. Probably jail the producer too.
Posted by: Mr. Moo Moo at December 17, 2014 10:17 PM (0LHZx)

Well, yeah.

President Cruz is the fellow I had in mind.

Posted by: eman at December 17, 2014 10:19 PM (MQEz6)

946 Posted by: ManWithNoParty, unperson from Free Market Jesus Paradise at December 17, 2014 10:14 PM (z2f1n)


Yea, I'm guessing it's not just the, er, cockles of your heart that got warmed!

And yes, this was the mid 80s and I still wear long sweaters and leggings with boots! It's a good look for me, cause i have big boobs, long legs and I am grotesquely short-waisted, so if I wear anything that ties around the waist, I look like a 50 pound sack of potatoes tied in the middle.

Posted by: Tammy al-Thor at December 17, 2014 10:20 PM (725ye)

947 It would be really easy to troll everyone by announcing the ONT right now.



Is that a banning offense? Theoretically?

Posted by: TexasDan at December 17, 2014 10:12 PM (mtEv6)



Banning? Probably not...but there are worse things...

Posted by: GGE of the Moron Horde, NC Chapter at December 17, 2014 10:20 PM (6fyGz)

948 What difference does it make at this point?

Posted by: Boss Moss at December 17, 2014 10:20 PM (wVBo0)

949 Gosh, remember when Hollywood cried "if only one person would have stood up to the HUAC and not named names, no one would have been blackballed." Well, guess what, you just missed your chance to be brave...again.

Posted by: no good deed at December 17, 2014 10:20 PM (w3a0Z)

950 What's wrong with Polo Shirts on women. I think they are fetching. Now would one of you tall misogynists hand me the Tide spring breeze off the top shelf.

Posted by: Martina Navirtalova at December 17, 2014 10:21 PM (bXdYS)

951 Asking a tall person to reach something on the top shelf, is now raaaacissss?

Alrighty, I got it.

So, is there anything left? Anything at all, that is NOT raaaaacissss?

Not that I really give a damn at this point, because F-it, *they* can just kiss my privileged whitey-cracker ass, I'm done twisting for their shits'n'giggles.

Posted by: JeanQ Flyover at December 17, 2014 10:21 PM (rhjQp)

952 Going to 1000 maybe?

Posted by: GGE of the Moron Horde, NC Chapter at December 17, 2014 10:21 PM (6fyGz)

953 Insty reports a Texas theater is going to show Team America:World Police in place of The Interview.

Posted by: eman at December 17, 2014 10:22 PM (MQEz6)

954 Whatshisname over at that other place doesn't have his last post up either, so they must be struggling to find the words to explain the historic announcement by our beloved president on normalizing diplomatic relations with our dear comrades in Cuba.

Winston Smith is working overtime rewriting history and needs a few more minutes.

I can't sleep until I know what it is that I am supposed to think about this historic event in world history.

Posted by: Incongruent Heretic at December 17, 2014 10:22 PM (dF7zr)

955 Movie critics should auction their screener DVDs of The Interview to raise money for Lil Kim's eating disorder.

Posted by: Dem Sum at December 17, 2014 10:22 PM (KG1MP)

956 Going to 1000 maybe?

Might as well try.

Posted by: Grey Fox at December 17, 2014 10:22 PM (09/yf)

957 The House UnAmerican Activities Committee. Of course led by Senator McCarthy.

Posted by: Boss Moss at December 17, 2014 10:22 PM (wVBo0)

958 It would be really easy to troll everyone by announcing the ONT right now.

Is that a banning offense? Theoretically?

Posted by: TexasDan at December 17, 2014 10:12 PM


Theoretically, it'll get your ass whipped with a car antennae from a 1968 Chrysler Imperial. One does not *simply* fuck with Super Happy Fun Ball or the ONT.

Posted by: AltonJackson at December 17, 2014 10:22 PM (KCxzN)

959 The problem with getting close enough to Mooch to ask for help with items on the top shelf is you can also see up her dress. Her junk is bigger than mine.

I'm expecting to be audited by the IRS for this post. I'm just gonna tell em I'm a little short this year.

Posted by: Circus Midget at December 17, 2014 10:22 PM (o/YKJ)

960 Going to 1000 maybe?
Posted by: GGE of the Moron Horde



PUSH!

Posted by: rickb223 at December 17, 2014 10:23 PM (cSU3r)

961 Man just lemme at them little North Korean Devils

Posted by: MAJ. T.J. "King" Kong at December 17, 2014 10:23 PM (nzKvP)

962 If I had gone off to take a nap at seven and not gotten up until midnight, the ONT would have come on at 7:15.

Posted by: GGE of the Moron Horde, NC Chapter at December 17, 2014 10:23 PM (6fyGz)

963 Posted by: Peaches at December 17, 2014 10:15 PM (6uib1)


Girl, it was laughable. I had just moved to SoCal and had not one clue about gheyness. The first girl kept asking and I was always too busy and finally someone told me if you don't want to go out with her, just tell her. I didn't realize she meant go out romantically. (We were co-workers) By the time the other two asked, I knew the drill. Women are much more gracious than men with getting turned down, let me tell ya.

Posted by: Tammy al-Thor at December 17, 2014 10:23 PM (725ye)

964 And yes, this was the mid 80s and I still wear long sweaters and leggings with boots! It's a good look for me, cause i have big boobs, long legs
Posted by: Tammy al-Thor at December 17, 2014 10:20 PM
...............You know the rules.

Posted by: Minnfidel at December 17, 2014 10:24 PM (bXdYS)

965 Movie critics should auction their screener DVDs of The Interview to raise money for Lil Kim's eating disorder.
Posted by: Dem Sum at December 17, 2014 10:22 PM (KG1MP)


When will it hit the torrent sites?

Posted by: Bertram Cabot Jr. at December 17, 2014 10:24 PM (W5DcG)

966 Insty reports a Texas theater is going to show Team America:World Police in place of The Interview.
Posted by: eman



God Bless Texas.

Posted by: rickb223 at December 17, 2014 10:24 PM (cSU3r)

967 [iu]Going to 1000 maybe?

Posted by: GGE of the Moron Horde, NC Chapter at December 17, 2014 10:21 PM (6fyGz)

I would read 500 posts, and
I would read 500 more

Posted by: The Proclaiming Hat at December 17, 2014 10:24 PM (lN8KC)

968 >>>Show the movie.



Theaters get bombed.



Nuke NK into a glow-in-the-dark parking lot.



Posted by: eman at December 17, 2014 10:15 PM (MQEz6)
<<<





Offensive YouTube video = Ok to attack American embassy



Offensive major motion picture = Ok to nuke major American city

Posted by: Hussein Clown Posse at December 17, 2014 10:25 PM (qfd4W)

969 I see the White House is considering issuing a sternly worded letter to the Norks. I guess they are waiting to see if North Korea hacked the IRS and found Lois Lerner's emails before they proceed.

Posted by: no good deed at December 17, 2014 10:25 PM (w3a0Z)

970 This is complete and utter bullshit... I'm 6' 4" (any moron who was at the SWOHMoMe will attest to that) and haven't the slightest problem helping anybody who politely asks me for assistance in reaching for something.

This woman has a head full of snakes... dark venomous snakes.

Posted by: CPT. Charles at December 17, 2014 10:25 PM (/mTq0)

971 No ONT after 10:30pm EST is racist!!

Posted by: puddleglum not at work at December 17, 2014 10:25 PM (Abt0S)

972 Show the Lone Ranger instead.

Posted by: Boss Moss at December 17, 2014 10:25 PM (wVBo0)

973 When will it hit the torrent sites?



Posted by: Bertram Cabot Jr. at December 17, 2014 10:24 PM (W5DcG)



Straight to DVD...

Posted by: GGE of the Moron Horde, NC Chapter at December 17, 2014 10:25 PM (6fyGz)

974 Going to 1000 maybe?
Posted by: GGE of the Moron Horde

PUSH!

Posted by: rickb223 at December 17, 2014 10:23 PM (cSU3r)


The requisite mood music:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YleXlgHI1oM

Posted by: Hat n' Pepa at December 17, 2014 10:25 PM (lN8KC)

975 just a little more...

Posted by: GGE of the Moron Horde, NC Chapter at December 17, 2014 10:26 PM (6fyGz)

976 No ONT after 10:30pm EST is racist!!

Posted by: puddleglum not at work at December 17, 2014 10:25 PM (Abt0S)


Mwahahaha!

Posted by: White Privilege at December 17, 2014 10:26 PM (lN8KC)

977 Roger Alpha Oscar Sierra, you are cleared for 1,000. Maintain rage speed.

Posted by: Minnfidel at December 17, 2014 10:26 PM (bXdYS)

978 Team America is a puppet movie? Seriously?

Posted by: Incongruent Heretic at December 17, 2014 10:26 PM (dF7zr)

979 SO

Posted by: Nevergiveup at December 17, 2014 10:26 PM (nzKvP)

980 If 25 morons/ettes make one comment each...

Posted by: GGE of the Moron Horde, NC Chapter at December 17, 2014 10:26 PM (6fyGz)

981 The thread that won't die. It's an Undead Thread. What happens when we summon Moochistopheles, I guess.

Posted by: Kraken at December 17, 2014 10:26 PM (5+mPY)

982 I don't care if anyone thinks I'm racist. They have nothing else to play against whitey so they will keep doing it. Did you hear Fredo wants to have cops involved in a shooting not being granted a grand jury? Bet it will matter what pigment everyone involved is.

Posted by: Chavez the Hugo at December 17, 2014 10:27 PM (ucDmr)

983 Theoretically, it'll get your ass whipped with a car antennae from a 1968 Chrysler Imperial. One does not *simply* fuck with Super Happy Fun Ball or the ONT.
Posted by: AltonJackson at December 17, 2014 10:22 PM (KCxzN)


Unless it's April 1

Posted by: Bertram Cabot Jr. at December 17, 2014 10:27 PM (W5DcG)

984 I was in Wallmart today and an old lady asked me to help lift a big bag of cat food into her cart. I just looked her in the eye and yelled "What do I look like? Michelle Fucking Obama?"

Posted by: Khauser at December 17, 2014 10:27 PM (OVmhO)

985 fifteen...

Posted by: GGE of the Moron Horde, NC Chapter at December 17, 2014 10:28 PM (6fyGz)

986 947

Fine then.

Its airplane mode with no downloaded ONT for me. I feel oppressed.

Posted by: TexasDan at December 17, 2014 10:28 PM (yYYqu)

987 And yes, this was the mid 80s and I still wear long sweaters and leggings with boots! It's a good look for me, cause i have big boobs, long legs and I am grotesquely short-waisted, so if I wear anything that ties around the waist, I look like a 50 pound sack of potatoes tied in the middle.

Posted by: Tammy al-Thor at December 17, 2014 10:20 PM


*fingers on temples* Telepathy engaged.

Posted by: otho at December 17, 2014 10:28 PM (tBSrv)

988 No the padding pre-1k dumplings, round eye

Posted by: Dem Sum be illing at December 17, 2014 10:28 PM (KG1MP)

989 Yea, I'm guessing it's not just the, er, cockles of your heart that got warmed!

And yes, this was the mid 80s and I still wear long sweaters and leggings with boots! It's a good look for me, cause i have big boobs, long legs and I am grotesquely short-waisted, so if I wear anything that ties around the waist, I look like a 50 pound sack of potatoes tied in the middle.
Posted by: Tammy al-Thor at December 17, 2014 10:20 PM (725ye)

*****

OK, so we're gonna go all ONT early. Cool. Back then it warmed much more than my blackish heart cockles, true enough. Today, if done well, and by all that is Holy, a woman that can pull it off well, the furnace does indeed fire up. Trouble is that many that think they can kinda ruin that look for me, a guy of ya know, discerning tastes now and shit like that.

Posted by: ManWithNoParty, unperson from Free Market Jesus Paradise at December 17, 2014 10:28 PM (z2f1n)

990 Team America is a puppet movie? Seriously?

Posted by: Incongruent Heretic at December 17, 2014 10:26 PM (dF7zr)


They are not puppets.

They are supermarionettes!

Posted by: ThunderHats are GO! at December 17, 2014 10:29 PM (lN8KC)

991 Affirmative Alpha Oscar Sierra, you are cleared for 1,000, climb and maintain until Oscar November Tango.

Posted by: Minnfidel at December 17, 2014 10:29 PM (bXdYS)

992 >>> Team America is a puppet movie? Seriously?

Fuck yeah!

Posted by: fluffy; 'Merican at December 17, 2014 10:29 PM (Ua6T/)

993 Team America is a puppet movie? Seriously?
Posted by: Incongruent Heretic at December 17, 2014 10:26 PM (dF7zr)


They could play Fireball XL5 and Supercar.

Posted by: Bertram Cabot Jr. at December 17, 2014 10:29 PM (W5DcG)

994 Walmart Shoppers? Have you ever seen a Walmart shopper riding in one of those motorized shopping carts ever stand up to get something off the top shelf?

Posted by: Incongruent Heretic at December 17, 2014 10:29 PM (dF7zr)

995 Comment 1000 wins an autographed Mooch lunch box.

Posted by: eman at December 17, 2014 10:29 PM (MQEz6)

996 987 And yes, this was the mid 80s and I still wear long sweaters and leggings with boots! It's a good look for me, cause i have big boobs, long legs

_________

Pics or it didn't happen

Posted by: Mr. Moo Moo at December 17, 2014 10:29 PM (0LHZx)

997 I don't care if anyone thinks I'm racist. They have nothing else to play against whitey so they will keep doing it.



The race card has been declined due to over-use and non-payment of the bill.

Posted by: rickb223 at December 17, 2014 10:30 PM (cSU3r)

998 How could anyone possibly forget that Michelle Obama has lived in the WH for six years? Forgive us, ma'am, if we all forgot to do a deep bow or a curtsey everything time we came into your presence.

Posted by: FenelonSpoke at December 17, 2014 10:30 PM (Dj3AB)

999 Purity of essence

Posted by: fluffy at December 17, 2014 10:30 PM (Ua6T/)

1000 Yup

Posted by: Trunk Monkey at December 17, 2014 10:30 PM (jucos)

1001 1000?

Posted by: Grey Fox at December 17, 2014 10:30 PM (09/yf)

1002 Maybe.

Posted by: Wi Tu Low at December 17, 2014 10:30 PM (wVBo0)

1003 Roger Alpha Oscar Sierra. Maintain 1,000 racist.

Posted by: Minnfidel at December 17, 2014 10:30 PM (bXdYS)

1004 Roger Alpha Oscar Sierra. Maintain 1,000 racist.

Posted by: Minnfidel at December 17, 2014 10:30 PM (bXdYS)

1005 Dang!

Posted by: Grey Fox at December 17, 2014 10:31 PM (09/yf)

1006 Trouble is that many that think they can kinda ruin that look for me


The disturbing trend of tights as pants has just about burned out my eyeballs a couple of times. The crazy thing is, you can't not look. It's like a train wreck.

Posted by: no good deed at December 17, 2014 10:31 PM (w3a0Z)

1007 Walmart Shoppers? Have you ever seen a Walmart shopper riding in one of those motorized shopping carts ever stand up to get something off the top shelf?

Posted by: Incongruent Heretic at December 17, 2014 10:29 PM (dF7zr)



Brother fell off a ladder a couple of months ago (he's going to be OK), just had the last surgery on his knee last week and posted a picture of himself on one of those carts. I asked him if he found anyone to race with it.

Posted by: GGE of the Moron Horde, NC Chapter at December 17, 2014 10:31 PM (6fyGz)

1008 982 I don't care if anyone thinks I'm racist. They have nothing else to play against whitey so they will keep doing it. Did you hear Fredo wants to have cops involved in a shooting not being granted a grand jury? Bet it will matter what pigment everyone involved is.
Posted by: Chavez the Hugo at December 17, 2014 10:27 PM (ucDmr)

Doesn't work with me either, Chavez. Don't care. Not ashamed to be white. Never ashamed of swinging my white privilege around, sitting in my little house, washing my aging car, mowing my dinky yard. Privilege, baby!

Posted by: Kraken at December 17, 2014 10:32 PM (5+mPY)

1009 Thread padding for the (not so) win...

Posted by: CPT. Charles at December 17, 2014 10:32 PM (/mTq0)

1010 Congratulations, Truck Monkey.

Grey Fox #1001, for second place you get the autographed Mooch lunch box, bikini edition.

Posted by: boulder terlit hobo at December 17, 2014 10:33 PM (AVEe1)

1011 Missed the Target.....Hey oooooh.

Posted by: Minnfidel at December 17, 2014 10:33 PM (bXdYS)

1012 Tammy is getting a tractor!

You know the rules. Post pics

of tractor.

--Just The Punchline

Posted by: Stringer Davis at December 17, 2014 10:33 PM (xq1UY)

1013 939
The leggings and long sweater look, along with jeans tucked into boots return does warm the cockles of my black heart these days though.

Posted by: ManWithNoParty, unperson from Free Market Jesus Paradise at December 17, 2014 10:14 PM (z2f1n)



Lots of women wear long tall stompy boots nowadays. I approve.

Posted by: rickl at December 17, 2014 10:33 PM (sdi6R)

1014 bejeezus...I'm in Walmart like eight times each week...I'm always fetching something down from a top shelve for someone...

Posted by: AltonJackson at December 17, 2014 10:33 PM (KCxzN)

1015 Terrorist throws acid on family in West Bank; seven wounded

Family, bystanders wounded near Jerusalem after Palestinian throws acid at them; terrorist shot after attempting to flee scene, seriously wounded.

http://bit.ly/1AJo6Q8

Posted by: The Political Hat at December 17, 2014 10:33 PM (lN8KC)

1016 1007 He could race George Costanza.

Posted by: Chavez the Hugo at December 17, 2014 10:33 PM (ucDmr)

1017 My grandmother was a typical white person who asked me to reach for things all the time.

Posted by: SCOAMF at December 17, 2014 10:33 PM (qfd4W)

1018 Bow Caster?

Posted by: Boss Moss at December 17, 2014 10:33 PM (wVBo0)

1019 Numerology for the win.
1010

Missed it by >< that much.

Posted by: Incongruent Heretic at December 17, 2014 10:33 PM (dF7zr)

1020 cause i have big boobs, long legs

Posted by: Tammy al-Thor at December 17, 2014 10:20 PM (725ye)



******************



Jib? Cut? Newsletter?



Posted by: Bob's House of Flannel Shirts and Wallet Chains at December 17, 2014 10:34 PM (yxw0r)

1021 1014 bejeezus...I'm in Walmart like eight times each week...I'm always fetching something down from a top shelve for someone...
Posted by: AltonJackson at December 17, 2014 10:33 PM (KCxzN)

I like to watch them jump for it first.

Posted by: eman at December 17, 2014 10:34 PM (MQEz6)

1022 Comment 1000 wins an autographed Mooch lunch box.

Posted by: eman at December 17, 2014 10:29 PM
..........Damn, and it came packed full of a Mooch Inc. approved kids meal too! So close. And yet so far.

Posted by: Minnfidel at December 17, 2014 10:35 PM (bXdYS)

1023 You people still here?


Are we still mad about Cuba?


I know I am.

Posted by: eleven at December 17, 2014 10:35 PM (MDgS8)

1024 This is NOT the kind of advertising you want...

http://tinyurl.com/p32vtue

Posted by: CPT. Charles at December 17, 2014 10:35 PM (/mTq0)

1025 1020 cause i have big boobs, long legs

Posted by: Tammy al-Thor at December 17, 2014 10:20 PM (725ye)
You are a Mommy longlegs.

Posted by: Kraken at December 17, 2014 10:35 PM (5+mPY)

1026 Grey Fox #1001, for second place you get the autographed Mooch lunch box, bikini edition.

Awesome. White elephant gift exchange, here I come!

Posted by: Grey Fox at December 17, 2014 10:35 PM (09/yf)

1027 Welcome to Maets revenge for all the comments about an early EEONT.

Posted by: ManWithNoParty, unperson from Free Market Jesus Paradise at December 17, 2014 10:36 PM (eLjug)

1028 In the year 2525


If man is still alive........

Posted by: eleven at December 17, 2014 10:36 PM (MDgS8)

1029 Michelle laments in song, "he thinks my tractor salesman is sexy."

Posted by: Don't ask Her for that CD at December 17, 2014 10:36 PM (KG1MP)

1030 Nope. It's about the Sony hack and terrorist threats.

at that other place where we get exiled to if we complain about lack of interesting content here.

Posted by: Incongruent Heretic at December 17, 2014 10:36 PM (dF7zr)

1031 almost to Hastings. William FTW

Posted by: toby928(C) at December 17, 2014 10:36 PM (rwI+c)

1032 I live and work in the DC area and see hundreds of women just like MObama. Bitter, entitled, nasty, and they all span age and race.

Posted by: puddleglum not at work at December 17, 2014 10:36 PM (Abt0S)

1033 I am making money in the stock market and planning a trip to Cuba.


They have a glory hole in the Stock Exchange Tower? Who knew?

Posted by: Alberta Oil Peon at December 17, 2014 10:36 PM (8Fl6F)

1034 I'm just going to post links to goofy 80's songs until the ONT.



https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wv-34w8kGPM

Posted by: GGE of the Moron Horde, NC Chapter at December 17, 2014 10:37 PM (6fyGz)

1035 almost to Hastings. William FTW

Posted by: toby928(C) at December 17, 2014 10:36 PM (rwI+c)


Asshole.

Posted by: Harold Godƿinson at December 17, 2014 10:37 PM (lN8KC)

1036 **swats down ONT**

**wags giant finger**


No no no, not today!

Posted by: Dikembe Maet-ombo at December 17, 2014 10:37 PM (qfd4W)

1037 Oh man.....I so got the 1066 thang.


I'm such a dork.

Posted by: eleven at December 17, 2014 10:38 PM (MDgS8)

1038 Asshole.

Stick an arrow in your eye, lamebrain.

Posted by: William the Conqueror at December 17, 2014 10:38 PM (rwI+c)

1039 hah...it worked...

Posted by: GGE of the Moron Horde, NC Chapter at December 17, 2014 10:38 PM (6fyGz)

1040 @1024 Bet if they just offered that plumber his truck back, complete with AA, he'd be plenty satisfied. I know I would, bad throwout bearing or not.

Nothing adds gravitas to a 3/4 ton like twin Bofors. Should be a factory option.

Posted by: Stringer Davis at December 17, 2014 10:38 PM (xq1UY)

1041 You people still here?


Are we still mad about Cuba?


I know I am.

Posted by: eleven at December 17, 2014 10:35 PM
..........Yep. I just got up on top of a dumpster and yelled at the top of my lungs. Burn This Bitch Down!!!!!

My rage is understandable.

Posted by: Minnfidel at December 17, 2014 10:39 PM (bXdYS)

1042 ONT up

Posted by: The Political Hat at December 17, 2014 10:39 PM (lN8KC)

1043 I had just moved to SoCal and had not one clue about gheyness. The first girl kept asking and I was always too busy and finally someone told me if you don't want to go out with her, just tell her. I didn't realize she meant go out romantically. (We were co-workers) By the time the other two asked, I knew the drill. Women are much more gracious than men with getting turned down, let me tell ya.
Posted by: Tammy al-Thor at December 17, 2014 10:23 PM (725ye)



I had the spear equivalent of this after moving to the Northeast from the Bay Area. Fruits are pretty much out in the Bay Area, and so paradoxically they're not much of a problem.

Not so much in the Northeast, where they were (at least then) more clandestine, and so tried it on because it wasn't obvious who was so inclined and who wasn't. As a young assistant professor (still single at the time) I got gonged on enough in the university gym that I eventually gave up and joined a private gym where it wasn't a problem.

Posted by: Jay Guevara at December 17, 2014 10:39 PM (oKE6c)

1044 The one thing nobody is saying about this movie that the North Koreans got purged is that it looked terrible. The ads for it weren't funny. They should have left it alone and the movie would have died the old fashion way, by losing money.

Posted by: puddleglum not at work at December 17, 2014 10:40 PM (Abt0S)

1045 ONT is up!

Posted by: GGE of the Moron Horde, NC Chapter at December 17, 2014 10:40 PM (6fyGz)

1046 I live and work in the DC area and see hundreds of women just like MObama. Bitter, entitled, nasty, and they all span age and race.

In Boulder we get the white / Jewish / mixed women just like MObama.

All the entitlement of Moochey, except they also look like me! Yay!

Posted by: boulder terlit hobo at December 17, 2014 10:40 PM (AVEe1)

1047 Corgis, you may not be first.

Posted by: ManWithNoParty, unperson from Free Market Jesus Paradise at December 17, 2014 10:41 PM (z2f1n)

1048 Grey Fox #1001, for second place you get the autographed Mooch lunch box, bikini edition.

Awesome. White elephant gift exchange, here I come!

Posted by: Grey Fox at December 17, 2014 10:35 PM
......Ahhh so you'll only exchange gifts with Whites? RAYCISS!!!!!!

Posted by: Minnfidel at December 17, 2014 10:41 PM (bXdYS)

1049 "china shop in a stockyard". Heh. Never heard that one before.

Would it be better if it were "china shop in a bullring"? More symmetrical, I mean?

Posted by: jwpaine at December 17, 2014 10:42 PM (a3NCX)

1050 Michele had to search her petty little brain to come up with an actual instance of "racism" directed at her - and this is what she came up with. This is her big example.

When she first told this story it was meant to be humourous in a "royalty gets mistaken for a serf" sort of way. The sad thing is I'll bet that in her mind, she really has converted it into a racist incident. She undoubtedly has recovered memories of how the woman sneered at her and muttered the n word under her breath. It was so traumatic Michele Antoinette just plumb forgot to mention them first time around.

Posted by: Donna &&&&&& V. (brandishing ampersands but not hot pink armpit hair) at December 17, 2014 10:45 PM (+XMAD)

1051 Have we ever reached 6666?

Posted by: bergerbilder at December 17, 2014 10:47 PM (8MjqI)

1052 1046 I live and work in the DC area and see hundreds of women just like MObama. Bitter, entitled, nasty, and they all span age and race.

Once I was walking with a pregnant friend to a restaurant near Dupont Circle. We were standing there waiting for the light to change on Connecticut Ave. when a very butch woman standing next to us said to my friend, sneeringly and for no reason whatsoever, "Breeder."

That was the first time we had ever heard a gay person use the term in a contemptuous manner and we were too startled to say anything.
My friend, whose hormones were making her more sensitive than usual, was extremely upset by it: "Why did she say that to me? What did I do to her?"

Of course, that was exactly the effect that nasty b wanted to have on her.

Posted by: Donna &&&&&& V. (brandishing ampersands but not hot pink armpit hair) at December 17, 2014 10:53 PM (+XMAD)

1053 What I'm getting from Obama's 'mistaken for a valet' story is that far fewer people saw or remember the 1999 comedy 'Go.' One of the sub-plots has Taye Diggs' character being repeatedly mistaken for an employee in a Las Vegas hotel. At one juncture he is handed the keys to a Ferrari, which he borrows and discovers a gun in the glove compartment.

Posted by: Epobirs at December 17, 2014 11:02 PM (IdCqF)

1054 265
253

>>Ok, so what is the most offensive thing they could have asked mooch for?

*************
"My dad's a huge Nicks fan. May I have your autograph Mr. Ewing?"

Posted by: eureka! at December 17, 2014 11:08 PM (uB6Jm)

1055 You know, I don't get it. Since when are you not allowed to ask a Chinese man where a Chinese restaurant is? I mean, aren't we getting a little too sensitive here? If someone asks me, "which direction is Israel," I don't go flying off the handle.

Posted by: Jerry Seinfeld at December 17, 2014 11:25 PM (7A4qQ)

1056 So much hatred, concentrated in one family.

Posted by: Null at December 18, 2014 12:20 AM (xjpRj)

1057 I work construction so i where a safety vest, often i have to make a run to the local big box hardware store and because of the vest am asked ? ever time by the customers. Am happy to help them if i can and if not direct them to who can.Why the butt hurt ?

Posted by: Reno at December 18, 2014 12:24 AM (+d+gG)

1058 I'm white and have been asked for help in stores many times by people who thought I worked there. I have also been near constructions sites and had passerbys ask me what is being built and how long things will take because they thought I was some kind of foreman.

Never thought it was racism. Did think it was because I looked nice enough to be approachable and together enough to know what is going on.

Posted by: wodun at December 18, 2014 01:31 AM (DD0s8)

1059 so close

Posted by: William the Conqueror at December 18, 2014 07:49 AM (rwI+c)

1060 taking up a collectoion

Posted by: William the Conqueror at December 18, 2014 07:49 AM (rwI+c)

1061 hiring some mercenaries

Posted by: William the Conqueror at December 18, 2014 07:50 AM (rwI+c)

1062 haggling for ships

Posted by: William the Conqueror at December 18, 2014 07:50 AM (rwI+c)

1063 damn, waiting out the storm

Posted by: William the Conqueror at December 18, 2014 07:50 AM (rwI+c)

1064 finally set out

Posted by: William the Conqueror at December 18, 2014 07:50 AM (rwI+c)

1065 get your asses on shore

Posted by: William the Conqueror at December 18, 2014 07:51 AM (rwI+c)

1066 Mine! All Mine!

Posted by: William the Conqueror at December 18, 2014 07:51 AM (rwI+c)

1067 I'm late to the party on this one. But yeah, I'm 6'3" and a "privileged" white male. I get asked to reach something on the top shelf by some 5' tall lady about 4 out of 10 trips to the store. I've never even thought about being offended. I view it as a chance to do a simple kindness for someone that costs me nothing.

In fact, last night I was asked by a black lady to grab a bottle of wine off the top shelf at Total Wine. I said sure, she said thanks, I said "you're welcome ma'am" and we both went on our way. No grievances were needed.

Posted by: DanInMN at December 18, 2014 08:15 AM (15ZVX)

1068 "But Michele Obama goes through life like a china shop in a stockyard, looking to be shattered by hoof-fall." And Michelle is not the only one.
Marvelous writing that....

Posted by: BJ54 at December 18, 2014 08:45 AM (Y0wT4)

1069 I can just see the secret service bodyguards letting some random shopper within touching distance of her majesty. It was originally a put up so she could be 'just one of the folks' for the campaign. Now she apparently feels that she needs to bond with her bros by being 'discriminated' against. Bitch.

Posted by: rabidfox at December 18, 2014 02:25 PM (COIkl)

1070 I'm 6' 2". I've been asked a few times by a fellow shopper if I would grab something for them on a top shelf. When a black woman asked me to do that, was she being racist, or was she just hoping that, unlike Michelle Obama, I might be a gracious fellow shopper?

Posted by: RonF at December 18, 2014 02:50 PM (l8nW6)

1071 Escort girls www.regmodels.ru

Posted by: Linda at December 18, 2014 06:20 PM (Dj10Y)

(Jump to top of page)






Processing 0.1, elapsed 0.1118 seconds.
15 queries taking 0.0369 seconds, 1080 records returned.
Page size 476 kb.
Powered by Minx 0.8 beta.



MuNuvians
MeeNuvians
Polls! Polls! Polls!

Real Clear Politics
Gallup
Frequently Asked Questions
The (Almost) Complete Paul Anka Integrity Kick
Top Top Tens
Greatest Hitjobs

The Ace of Spades HQ Sex-for-Money Skankathon
A D&D Guide to the Democratic Candidates
Margaret Cho: Just Not Funny
More Margaret Cho Abuse
Margaret Cho: Still Not Funny
Iraqi Prisoner Claims He Was Raped... By Woman
Wonkette Announces "Morning Zoo" Format
John Kerry's "Plan" Causes Surrender of Moqtada al-Sadr's Militia
World Muslim Leaders Apologize for Nick Berg's Beheading
Michael Moore Goes on Lunchtime Manhattan Death-Spree
Milestone: Oliver Willis Posts 400th "Fake News Article" Referencing Britney Spears
Liberal Economists Rue a "New Decade of Greed"
Artificial Insouciance: Maureen Dowd's Word Processor Revolts Against Her Numbing Imbecility
Intelligence Officials Eye Blogs for Tips
They Done Found Us Out, Cletus: Intrepid Internet Detective Figures Out Our Master Plan
Shock: Josh Marshall Almost Mentions Sarin Discovery in Iraq
Leather-Clad Biker Freaks Terrorize Australian Town
When Clinton Was President, Torture Was Cool
What Wonkette Means When She Explains What Tina Brown Means
Wonkette's Stand-Up Act
Wankette HQ Gay-Rumors Du Jour
Here's What's Bugging Me: Goose and Slider
My Own Micah Wright Style Confession of Dishonesty
Outraged "Conservatives" React to the FMA
An On-Line Impression of Dennis Miller Having Sex with a Kodiak Bear
The Story the Rightwing Media Refuses to Report!
Our Lunch with David "Glengarry Glen Ross" Mamet
The House of Love: Paul Krugman
A Michael Moore Mystery (TM)
The Dowd-O-Matic!
Liberal Consistency and Other Myths
Kepler's Laws of Liberal Media Bias
John Kerry-- The Splunge! Candidate
"Divisive" Politics & "Attacks on Patriotism" (very long)
The Donkey ("The Raven" parody)
News/Chat