Another Viral Media Story Turns Out To Be, Get This, Completely Fabricated

New York magazine ran a piece about Mohammad Islam, a Bedford-Stuyvesant high school senior who made a whopping $72 million playing the stock markets.

Rumors, on Wall Street, can be powerful. A whisper can turn into a current that moves markets, driving a stock price up or sending it tumbling. There may be only one other place where gossip holds such sway, and that is high school.
Late last year, a rumor began circulating at Stuyvesant that a junior named Mohammed Islam had made a fortune in the stock market. Not a small fortune, either. Seventy-two million.
...
As the news spread, Mo’s stock went up. The school paper profiled him, Business Insider included him on a list of "20 Under 20," and Mo became "a celebrity," as his friend Damir Tulemaganbetov put it on a recent Friday night at Mari Vanna near Union Square. "A VIP!"
...
Mo got into trading oil and gold, and his bank account grew. Though he is shy about the $72 million number, he confirmed his net worth is in the "high eight figures." More than enough to rent an apartment in Manhattan--though his parents won’t let him live in it until he turns 18--and acquire a BMW, which he can’t drive because he doesn't yet have a license.

The 72 million dollars figure turns out to be slightly exaggerated.

"Mo's" real take from the stock market is more modest: Zero dollars. Zero point zero dollars, and zero cents.

American.

It was just kids making up a story, but Business Insider ran it, then New York, and then the New York Post.

You seem to be quoted saying "eight figures." That’s not true, is it?
No, it is not true.

Is there ANY figure? Have you invested and made returns at all?
No.
So it's total fiction?
Yes.
Are you interested in investing? How did you get this reputation?
I run an investment club at Stuy High which does only simulated trades.
If you had been playing with real money, would you have done really well?
The simulated trades percentage was extremely high relative to the S&P.
Where did [New York magazine writer] Jessica Pressler come up with the $72 million figure?
I honestly don’t know. The number's a rumor.
She said'‘have you made $72 million'?

[I led her to believe] I had made even more than $72 million on the simulated trades.
At this point the PR reps jumped in with Law & Order style objections. A conference outside the room ensued. Back into the room came Mr. Islam.
All I can say is for the simulated trades, I was very successful. The returns were incredible and outperformed the S&P.

And I've won the championship eight times straight on simulated seasons of Tecmo Bowl.

Posted by: Ace at 12:13 PM

Comments

(Jump to bottom of comments)

1 Aaaand, it's gone.

Posted by: Insomniac at December 16, 2014 12:13 PM (2Ojst)

2 NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

Posted by: alec at December 16, 2014 12:15 PM (DxQWB)

3

Oh.My.

How embarrassing for Fritz to have his html loose ends cleaned up by .... Ace.

Posted by: fixerupper at December 16, 2014 12:15 PM (NaV4z)

4 NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!

Posted by: tu3031 at December 16, 2014 12:16 PM (i0wGQ)

5 You know it only went viral because he was "Mohammed Islam". Any other name in the world and they'd've been suspicious.

Posted by: AmishDude at December 16, 2014 12:16 PM (L2xDv)

6 I just heard that space aliens have landed in New Jersey.
Honest.

Posted by: Bertram Cabot Jr. at December 16, 2014 12:16 PM (W5DcG)

7 Hey.... is this guy interested in an Internship?

Posted by: Global Warming Model Programmer at December 16, 2014 12:16 PM (f0pWu)

8 "a Bedford-Stuyvesant high school senior "

Er, no.

It's "Stuyvesant High School". Requires passing an admissions test to get in. I know...

Posted by: anon a mouse at December 16, 2014 12:16 PM (/jpU8)

9 This kid is my hero.

Posted by: spade at December 16, 2014 12:16 PM (1Js6H)

10 And I've won the championship eight times straight on simulated seasons of Tecmo Bowl

Using Bo Jackson doesn't count.

Posted by: buzzion at December 16, 2014 12:16 PM (zt+N6)

11 He used the cheat codes.

Posted by: EC at December 16, 2014 12:17 PM (GQ8sn)

12 Hey Ace, it also seems to be another case of "fake but accurate". Straight from the horse's, I mean author's, mouth:

"But Pressler (the original author of the story) seemed perplexed by all the scrutiny. 'Holding it to the standard of a financial publication? It's just a different thing,' she said. 'That's not to say it isn't important if he lied.' 'If he lied, then he lied,' she added. 'But I just want to be clear that we didn't 100% follow this lie. That's just not what happened.'

The story, in her mind, was still worth doing. 'The story is the reason to love New York,' she said. 'And I came to love the fact that these kids are running around the city with these big dreams. It can only happen in New York, these kids eating caviar, talking about how they're going to be the new Koch bothers. It seems like a uniquely New York milieu.'"

Even though the part she loved about the story was a complete fabrication. What happened to journalistic integrity? It doesn't seem to matter at all any more.

Posted by: Chairman LMAO at December 16, 2014 12:17 PM (TMUWU)

13 And the Chicago Bears make the playoffs.

Posted by: Fritz at December 16, 2014 12:17 PM (UzPAd)

14 Another well vetted story by the glorious MSM.

Posted by: Diogenes at December 16, 2014 12:17 PM (s2LSa)

15 And I've won the championship eight times straight on simulated seasons of Tecmo Bowl.

You must have had the Bills or the Giants, they were incredible in that game. And Christian Okoye of the Chiefs ... according to Tecmo he was better than Jim Brown.

Posted by: Blacksheep at December 16, 2014 12:17 PM (8/DeP)

16 I just heard that space aliens have landed in New Jersey.
Honest.

Do I have to alert the Irregulars near Grover's Mill again?

Posted by: Brother Cavil, Unrepresented at December 16, 2014 12:17 PM (DT3rQ)

17 And I've won the championship eight times straight on simulated seasons of Tecmo Bowl

The 49's Joe Montana-Jerry Rice slant pass in Tecmo Bowl can't be beaten.

Posted by: EC at December 16, 2014 12:18 PM (GQ8sn)

18 Would you believe 50 million?

How about 30 bucks and a smoking 1992 Beemer.

Posted by: Maxwell Smart at December 16, 2014 12:18 PM (WCnJW)

19 "The story, in her mind"

Pretty much says it all, doesn't it?

Posted by: anon a mouse at December 16, 2014 12:18 PM (/jpU8)

20 Late last year, a rumor began circulating at Stuyvesant that a junior named Mohammed Islam had made a fortune in the stock market. Not a small fortune, either. Seventy-two million.

That's an audit.

Posted by: rickb223 - #IWROY at December 16, 2014 12:18 PM (RJzmI)

21 You don't want to know how many times, and how satisfied Kate Upton was when I made sweet love to her... simulated.

Posted by: BurtTC at December 16, 2014 12:18 PM (TOk1P)

22 The news-media business is just that a business. Fascinating viral stories generate money, something the media business is good at, but the news business is not. So less is spent on news and more on media. There will be more of this.

Posted by: SH at December 16, 2014 12:18 PM (gmeXX)

23 Psh, I whooped Hitler's ass in Castle Wolfenstein twenty years ago.

Posted by: DangerGirl at December 16, 2014 12:19 PM (7/YOc)

24 I bet his real name is Jesus Protestant, too...

Posted by: Tex Lovera at December 16, 2014 12:19 PM (wtvvX)

25 "outperformed the SP"

Well, woopdie-fuckin'-doo, you towel-headed fuck stick.

Posted by: Jeb Bush at December 16, 2014 12:19 PM (MNq6o)

26 Such disgraceful behavior.

Posted by: Jon Gruber at December 16, 2014 12:19 PM (Spluw)

27 Why didn't you come to me like a ****ing man and say it was all made up?

Posted by: John Edward at December 16, 2014 12:19 PM (hHFOx)

28 I just heard that Jeb Bush is the secret President of the Birch society.
Honest.

Posted by: Cathy McMorris-Rogers at December 16, 2014 12:19 PM (XzRw1)

29

Wait!!!! WUUUTTTTTT?????

You mean...... there are still SOME people the press will applaud for making money in the stock market??

Why wasnt Mohammed Islam being derided as a lazy one percenter make money off the backs of hard working producers and exploiting the system for his own personal, selfish enrichment.????

Why wasnt THAT article written???

Posted by: fixerupper at December 16, 2014 12:19 PM (NaV4z)

30 The story, in her mind, was still worth doing. 'The story is the reason to love New York,' she said. 'And I came to love the fact that these kids are running around the city with these big dreams. It can only happen in New York, these kids eating caviar, talking about how they're going to be the new Koch bothers. It seems like a uniquely New York milieu.'"

Posted by: Chairman LMAO at December 16, 2014 12:17 PM (TMUWU)

so.... this writer will write an untrue piece, to put forth the 'dreams' of a guy named... Mohammad Islam?

Posted by: Global Warming Model Programmer at December 16, 2014 12:19 PM (f0pWu)

31 I never lose. At anything. Honest...

Posted by: tu3031 at December 16, 2014 12:19 PM (i0wGQ)

32 I have 38 drops under my belt. Simulated.

Posted by: Lt. Gorman at December 16, 2014 12:19 PM (GQ8sn)

33 Professional journalists!

Posted by: Y-not at December 16, 2014 12:20 PM (9BRsg)

34 Make big money on penny stocks by following this one weird tip!!

Posted by: fluffy at December 16, 2014 12:20 PM (Ua6T/)

35 Another reason to love New York: a journo class that makes sh!t up and then tells its readers, "so sue me".

I wonder what Jayson Blair thinks of this

Posted by: boulder terlit hobo at December 16, 2014 12:20 PM (hp71M)

36 "The story, in her mind"

Was that a Moody Blues song?

Posted by: Bertram Cabot Jr. at December 16, 2014 12:20 PM (W5DcG)

37 And, I'm married to..... Morgan Fairchild

Yeah, that's the ticket!

Posted by: Tex Lovera at December 16, 2014 12:20 PM (wtvvX)

38 "Fascinating viral stories generate money"

Clicks. Which some foolishly equate with money, as in alleged advertising. See late 1990s "tech boom" for more.

And Ace, FIX IT - It's SHS, no "Bedford" involved. Sheesh.

Posted by: anon a mouse at December 16, 2014 12:20 PM (/jpU8)

39 Makes as much sense as Congressional plans for the debt

Posted by: brak at December 16, 2014 12:20 PM (Tj+s6)

40 If having big dreams was all it took...

Posted by: Skandia Recluse at December 16, 2014 12:20 PM (ulJ9/)

41 And I've won the championship eight times straight on simulated seasons of Tecmo Bowl.

Using Bo Jackson doesn't count.

Jim Thorpe FTW!

Posted by: rickb223 - #IWROY at December 16, 2014 12:20 PM (RJzmI)

42 Did I mention I popped a boner using only my mind?

Posted by: Mohammed Islam at December 16, 2014 12:20 PM (MNq6o)

43 People are skeptical about the money thing, but the kid's name is allegedly "Mohammed Islam" and that passes unnoticed? What, "Dirka Dirka Goathumper" was taken?

Posted by: Ian S. at December 16, 2014 12:21 PM (B/VB5)

44 Mohammed Islam. Never heard of it.

Posted by: Charlie Gibson at December 16, 2014 12:21 PM (hHFOx)

45 I forgot about Bo Jackson, dude was god-like in Tecmo.

Still, if you had Lawrence Taylor or Derrick Thomas you could stop almost anyone. Almost

Posted by: Blacksheep at December 16, 2014 12:21 PM (8/DeP)

46 As part of the research process, the magazine sent a fact-checker to Stuyvesant, where Islam produced a document that appeared to be a Chase bank statement attesting to an eight-figure bank account.

Ew.... what they say now...

So the guy Forged a Bank Statement...

Posted by: The Big Bad Wolf... at December 16, 2014 12:21 PM (f0pWu)

47 15 -

I had a version of Tony Larussa baseball back in the day, and Julian Tavares was unhittable. Albert Belle hit home runs, pretty much every time he came to bat.

Posted by: BurtTC at December 16, 2014 12:21 PM (TOk1P)

48 If I can fake it there
I can fake it anywhere
It's up to you
New York
Newwwwwwww York

Posted by: tu3031 at December 16, 2014 12:21 PM (i0wGQ)

49 Ace, what you're saying is that the MSM lies. And sir, that is an outrageous accusation. How dare you sully the good name of our nation's true heroes, the reporters?

Posted by: Mr. Moo Moo at December 16, 2014 12:21 PM (0LHZx)

50 Well, at least no one was raped this time

Posted by: L, elle at December 16, 2014 12:22 PM (2x3L+)

51 "I wonder what Jayson Blair thinks of this"

"I should've waited a few years" sounds about right...

Posted by: anon a mouse at December 16, 2014 12:22 PM (/jpU8)

52
he isn't even of legal age

what makes these soooper geniuses think he can legally enter a contract, which is what a trade is

journalists are idiots and must have the lowest IQ of any of the "disciplines"

Posted by: ThunderB at December 16, 2014 12:22 PM (zOTsN)

53
I boned Kate Upton 72 times.

Sticking with my story.

Posted by: Guy Mohawk at December 16, 2014 12:22 PM (NtzGn)

54
43 People are skeptical about the money thing, but the kid's name is allegedly "Mohammed Islam" and that passes unnoticed? What, "Dirka Dirka Goathumper" was taken?
Posted by: Ian S. at December 16, 2014 12:21 PM (B/VB5)

There was a basketball player for the University of Cincinnati a few years ago name Jihad Muhammed.

Posted by: buzzion at December 16, 2014 12:22 PM (zt+N6)

55 7
And, I'm married to..... Morgan Fairchild

YOU ARE NOT A YOUNG MAN ARE YOU ? YEA ME NEITHER. LOL ! ( she is way hotter than kate uppity ) !!

Posted by: alec at December 16, 2014 12:22 PM (DxQWB)

56 Wow. So, the stock market raped him?

Posted by: Cicero Kaboom! Kid at December 16, 2014 12:23 PM (uSAVP)

57 Maybe we should change April Fool's Day to Journalism Appreciation Day.

Posted by: The Great White Snark at December 16, 2014 12:23 PM (XUKZU)

58 Ripley: How many drops is this for you, Lieutenant?
ISLAM: Thirty eight... simulated.
Vasquez: How many *combat* drops?
ISLAM: Uh, NONE. Including this one.
Drake: Shit.
Hudson: Oh, man...

Posted by: fixerupper at December 16, 2014 12:23 PM (NaV4z)

59 so.... this writer will write an untrue piece, to put forth the 'dreams' of a guy named... Mohammad Islam?

Libs are fucking bizarre. They will lie about virtually anything. I swear, it's like a mental illness with these people.

Posted by: Blacksheep at December 16, 2014 12:23 PM (8/DeP)

60 And I came to love the fact that these kids are running around the city with these big dreams. It can only happen in New York, these kids eating caviar, talking about how they're going to be the new Koch bothers. It seems like a uniquely New York milieu.'"

______________

LOL. I guess the reporter has never been to Silicon Valley or Hollywood.

A liar and a fucking moron.

Posted by: Mr. Moo Moo at December 16, 2014 12:23 PM (0LHZx)

61 Maybe we can get this kid to fix Obamacare.

Posted by: Fritz at December 16, 2014 12:23 PM (UzPAd)

62 but if Sarah Palin claimed to have killed about 50 moose while hunting and it turned out it was 48, the MSM would scream "Palin Lies!!"

Posted by: mallfly at December 16, 2014 12:23 PM (bJm7W)

63 Well, at least no one was raped this time
Posted by: L, elle at December 16, 2014 12:22 PM (2x3L+)

Other than the "truth".

Posted by: Bertram Cabot Jr. at December 16, 2014 12:23 PM (W5DcG)

64 72 should have been the giveaway.

Posted by: Mega at December 16, 2014 12:23 PM (hHFOx)

65 Imaginary rape, imaginary stock market wealth, imaginary story of comforting a Muslim woman on a train after the Sydney hostage crisis.

I, for one, am glad we have a credentialed press. Because making up such high quality narrative-er, b.s. takes several years of Journalist degree-level training!

Posted by: Lizzy at December 16, 2014 12:24 PM (ABcz/)

66 "Makes as much sense as Congressional plans for the debt"

Sure. They'll make it up on volume.

Posted by: anon a mouse at December 16, 2014 12:24 PM (/jpU8)

67 I am like the Don Juan of simulated sex.

Been in the game since I was like 14.

Posted by: Jollyroger at December 16, 2014 12:24 PM (t06LC)

68 To the credit of Mo's parents, they're furious with their weasel spawn for ruining their rep and have threatened to disown him.

Mo's lucky he hasn't been stoned yet.

Posted by: boulder terlit hobo at December 16, 2014 12:24 PM (hp71M)

69
Doesn't hurt to tell the young Bettys at Starbucks that I just won the lottery. Doesn't hurt at all.

Posted by: wth at December 16, 2014 12:24 PM (wAQA5)

70
You cannot make a trade until you are at least 18

she is retarded

Posted by: ThunderB at December 16, 2014 12:24 PM (zOTsN)

71 In fairness to media, it would have taken extraordinary, almost super-human effort to verify this story.

Let me put my information in you: they don't care. They get hits when the made-up stuff breaks, and they get even more hits when it turns out to be false.

Posted by: Nicholas Kronos at December 16, 2014 12:24 PM (mPYNA)

72 Isn't usry haram for the goat fucking child molesting mohomedans?

Posted by: Boss Moss at December 16, 2014 12:24 PM (wVBo0)

73 72 should have been the giveaway.
Posted by: Mega at December 16, 2014 12:23 PM (hHFOx)

----

Ooooooo..... nice catch.

Posted by: fixerupper at December 16, 2014 12:24 PM (NaV4z)

74 Ace, what you're saying is that the MSM lies. And sir, that is an outrageous accusation. How dare you sully the good name of our nation's true heroes, the reporters?
Posted by: Mr. Moo Moo

Lying is such an ugly, laden term. Most of them are lazy, and by definition don't begin to understand the topics they attempt to express. 35 years ago, Harry Stein said that all of the so-called science and aerospace reporters could all fit into one VW bug along with sufficient dynamite to blow them all to Hell.

Apparently he didn't think much of them.

Posted by: Blue Hen at December 16, 2014 12:24 PM (Spluw)

75 Well, at least no one was raped this time

Not so fast....

Posted by: Math at December 16, 2014 12:25 PM (ABcz/)

76 I found the cure to cancer by mixing the cleaning stuff and Nyquil junk under the sink in my bathroom. * returns to online cos play*

Posted by: Mohammed Islam at December 16, 2014 12:25 PM (MNq6o)

77 This just in: President Obama has just nominated Mohammed Islam to be Chairman of the Federal Reserve.

Posted by: Jay Guevara at December 16, 2014 12:25 PM (oKE6c)

78

his AGE should have been the give away. It is not possible for him to trade. He is not 18

Posted by: ThunderB at December 16, 2014 12:25 PM (zOTsN)

79 Who did he rape again?

Posted by: RWC - Shopping for Justice! at December 16, 2014 12:25 PM (fWAjv)

80 "Let me put my information in you: they don't care. They get hits when the made-up stuff breaks, and they get even more hits when it turns out to be false."

Yep, that's it.

Posted by: anon a mouse at December 16, 2014 12:25 PM (/jpU8)

81 There was a basketball player for the University of Cincinnati a few years ago name Jihad Muhammed.

Posted by: buzzion at December 16, 2014 12:22 PM (zt+N6)

There was another player at Providence in the 90's named God Shammgod. I think he made it to the NBA.

Posted by: Tex Lovera at December 16, 2014 12:25 PM (wtvvX)

82 I beat all of the other contestants watching Jeopardy last night.

Posted by: The Great White Snark at December 16, 2014 12:25 PM (XUKZU)

83 There was a basketball player for the University of Cincinnati a few years ago name Jihad Muhammed.

Remember Providence point guard God Shammgod? He couldn't play in the pros (I think the Wizards drafted him so of course he couldn't), but still, great name.

Posted by: Blacksheep at December 16, 2014 12:26 PM (8/DeP)

84 So where is the rape angle? How does a story get reported without a rape?

Posted by: Super Creepy Rob Lowe at December 16, 2014 12:26 PM (oDCMR)

85 "all of the so-called science and aerospace reporters could all fit into one VW bug along with sufficient dynamite to blow them all to Hell."

The Gell - Mann amnesia effect.

Posted by: anon a mouse at December 16, 2014 12:26 PM (/jpU8)

86 I've won the Super Bowl 12 times with my fantasy football simulations.

Posted by: Jack at December 16, 2014 12:26 PM (53CCM)

87 Suck it, Mo.

Posted by: praisegod barebones at December 16, 2014 12:26 PM (hp71M)

88
super human effort?

if he is trading it is illegally and under someone elses name

Posted by: ThunderB at December 16, 2014 12:26 PM (zOTsN)

89 I just hope that no one lashes out at the Religion of Islam because of this article because that is what is really important....stopping the non-existent problem of lashing out at Islam.....and stopping the rape culture on campuses....and protecting the rights of gay people.

Posted by: Mallamutt, RINO President of the Sheena Easton Fan Club at December 16, 2014 12:26 PM (OWjjx)

90 D'oh, Tex! You're a genius, obviously.

Posted by: Blacksheep at December 16, 2014 12:26 PM (8/DeP)

91 so.... this writer will write an untrue piece, to put forth the 'dreams' of a guy named... Mohammad Islam?
Posted by: Global Warming Model Programmer at December 16, 2014 12:19 PM (f0pWu)

The book version will be called Dreams From My Sources

Posted by: Vic's Centurion, at the siege of Jerusalem at December 16, 2014 12:26 PM (lZ1M5)

92 Yeah, but does this student wear an offensive shirt?

Posted by: Womyns Studies Graduate with no science credits at December 16, 2014 12:27 PM (ABcz/)

93 The midget mohamed wasn't much for obeying laws.

Posted by: Boss Moss at December 16, 2014 12:27 PM (wVBo0)

94 Soon to be a very successful NYC politician.
Gruber!!

Posted by: This is a Faux News Alert at December 16, 2014 12:27 PM (hKyl0)

95 off centurion sock

Posted by: Secundus at December 16, 2014 12:27 PM (lZ1M5)

96 What a great story...

Posted by: Walter Duranty at December 16, 2014 12:27 PM (LoIJo)

97 Not surprising. When the President opens his mouth a lie vomits forth. So he has set the bar.

Posted by: Vic at December 16, 2014 12:27 PM (u9gzs)

98 What's a "decimal" and what exactly does it do? Sounds made up.

Posted by: Mohammed Islam at December 16, 2014 12:28 PM (MNq6o)

99 reporters need to be more sophisticated than fat short high school students

Posted by: ThunderB at December 16, 2014 12:28 PM (zOTsN)

100 We find out about all the hoaxes now cuz the interwebs and such. Makes me think how many MSM stories pre 1995ish were total fucking bullshit, but nobody ever found out they were made up. It's 1986 you read a story in the NY Times, you think, hmmm, doesn't make much sense, but how are you going to prove it's false? It would take weeks of work vs 5 minutes of Google.

Posted by: Mr. Moo Moo at December 16, 2014 12:28 PM (0LHZx)

101 the funny thing about the hoax is that it would have BLOWN UP if the reporter had simply asked for a brokerage statement.

The simplest, most basic attempt at a fact check.

Posted by: Arthur at December 16, 2014 12:28 PM (h53OH)

102 I've rescued hundreds of princesses.

Posted by: Shoot Me at December 16, 2014 12:28 PM (EQcfE)

103 90
D'oh, Tex! You're a genius, obviously.

Posted by: Blacksheep at December 16, 2014 12:26 PM (8/DeP)

I will accept your compliment.
(Great minds think alike

)

Posted by: Tex Lovera at December 16, 2014 12:28 PM (wtvvX)

104 Rush is covering this now.

Posted by: Truck Monkey, Aiming His Torpedo at December 16, 2014 12:28 PM (32Ze2)

105 I've won the Republican sim game several times! I'm a high eight figure man myself!

Posted by: Jeb Bush at December 16, 2014 12:28 PM (6um35)

106 Rush is talking about this idiocy now.

Don't reporters check stories before publishing? It should be in journalism #1.

Posted by: Carol at December 16, 2014 12:29 PM (sj3Ax)

107 That SOB Limbaugh is talking about this now. He must read your extremist blog.

Posted by: Cathy McMorris-Rogers at December 16, 2014 12:29 PM (XzRw1)

108 I'm going to have to start dating reporters.

Because if the last month is any indication, those chicks will fall for ANYTHING.

Posted by: Secundus at December 16, 2014 12:29 PM (lZ1M5)

109 It always works in simulation, kid. Real life, not so much.

Posted by: K. Marx at December 16, 2014 12:29 PM (TOk1P)

110 Imagine that, someone named Mohammed made up a fairy tale and duped a bunch of people. Why, that hasn't happened since at least the 7th century.

Posted by: Thatch at December 16, 2014 12:29 PM (m/nBa)

111 In a world where website hits are more valuable than the truth...

Posted by: brak at December 16, 2014 12:29 PM (Tj+s6)

112 We had this software in HS which was a stock simulator... Not real world. This was 1998 or 1999. I noticed penny stocks tended to spike but never went below the nominal penny.

After the "main" week was over for the class I just started going in whole hog on these and what would happen is that these penny stocks would occasionally pop and be worth a few dollars. So I'd take my profit then reinvest in the next penny stock.

The game didn't account for the real world where bankrupcy occurs and things become worthless. So the strategy was no risk with highly variable payoffs. Of course the purpose was to get the user to believe in dividend stocks and the rest... Not so much as propaganda but to teach about the financial mechanisms at a classroom level.

I'm not saying that is what happened here but play land is not the real world.

Posted by: Patrick J. at December 16, 2014 12:29 PM (3KcdH)

113 There may be some discrepancies in his story, but I still think that SOMETHING happened between Mohammed Islam and his stocks

#IStandWithMohammedIslam

Posted by: Average Joe at December 16, 2014 12:29 PM (CkjRf)

114 Around here, when we simulate something, it's called fapping.

I guess they should call it that there, too.

Posted by: Roy at December 16, 2014 12:29 PM (VndSC)

115 Isn't usry haram for the goat fucking child molesting mohomedans?

It's taquiyya all the way down.

Posted by: BackwardsBoy, Curmudgeon Extraordinaire at December 16, 2014 12:29 PM (0HooB)

116 New York mag should be mocked without mercy for going with this story without ever demanding to see the guy's portfolio and trading history.

The returns required to achieve his claims tells anyone with a functioning brain that his story was impossible.

Posted by: Meremortal at December 16, 2014 12:29 PM (1Y+hH)

117 Everyone reads the same wire services and newspapers.

Posted by: Boss Moss at December 16, 2014 12:30 PM (wVBo0)

118 Has anyone confirmed that there really is a Mohammad Islam at Stuyvesant?

Do I have to read the article? Why? It's all fiction.

Posted by: Skandia Recluse at December 16, 2014 12:30 PM (ulJ9/)

119 "Mo's" real take from the stock market is more modest: Zero dollars. Zero point zero dollars, and zero cents.

American.

Well played, Ace.

Posted by: Cicero (@cicero) at December 16, 2014 12:30 PM (8ZskC)

120 I hold the world record for the highest score on BOTH PacMan AND Donkey Kong...

Posted by: Tex Lovera at December 16, 2014 12:30 PM (wtvvX)

121 It would take weeks of work vs 5 minutes of Google.
Posted by: Mr. Moo Moo at December 16, 2014 12:28 PM (0LHZx)

Remember the Maine!

Posted by: Secundus at December 16, 2014 12:30 PM (lZ1M5)

122 Here is what I really want to know....did it help the kid get laid cause, if so......well, he got sex under false pretense which I think is now rape so Rolling Stone needs to get on this story.

Posted by: Mallamutt, RINO President of the Sheena Easton Fan Club at December 16, 2014 12:30 PM (OWjjx)

123 When you can't trust someone named Mohammad, the world no longer makes sense.....

Posted by: Stateless Infidel at December 16, 2014 12:30 PM (AC0lD)

124 The MFM duped again. That's hard to believe

Posted by: TheQuietMan at December 16, 2014 12:30 PM (1Jaio)

125 We'll have to remember these hoaxes for the next time some Lefty Congressman pushes for jounalist licensing to keep the jammie-wearing, untrained internet riff-raff from spoiling such a fine, upstanding profession.

Posted by: Lizzy at December 16, 2014 12:30 PM (ABcz/)

126 Wait until that poor goatf*cker sees his tax bill next spring.

Posted by: IRS at December 16, 2014 12:30 PM (VndSC)

127 Hey kid, just have all the money tragically die. Then everyone will feel sorry for you.

Posted by: Mantei Teo at December 16, 2014 12:31 PM (TOk1P)

128 Chumps.

That's all they are.

Chumps.

Posted by: Mikey NTH - The Outrage Outlet for all of Your Holiday Needs! at December 16, 2014 12:31 PM (hLRSq)

129 35 years ago, Harry Stein said that all of the
so-called science and aerospace reporters could all fit into one VW bug
along with sufficient dynamite to blow them all to Hell.

Apparently he didn't think much of them.

Posted by: Blue Hen at December 16, 2014 12:24 PM (Spluw)

In fairness, really good reporting on science must be very difficult indeed. The frontiers of modern science are pretty arcane, and pretty much out of reach for the layman and even other scientists* from other fields. Ask a natural products chemist to weigh in on developments in high energy physics, or a high energy physicist to do so on developments in natural product chemistry, and you'll get an opinion no better than a layman's. The requisite knowledge to render an informed opinion takes many years of study. (This is why science news almost always relates any advance to its impact on "curing cancer.")

* By "scientist" I mean a real scientist, not a bullshit "social scientist."

Posted by: Jay Guevara at December 16, 2014 12:31 PM (oKE6c)

130
moo moo it would not take weeks worth of research in the precomputer era

it would take one phone call

minors cannot trade

Posted by: ThunderB at December 16, 2014 12:31 PM (zOTsN)

131 Has Mohammed at least stayed at a Holiday Inn?

Posted by: Cicero (@cicero) at December 16, 2014 12:31 PM (8ZskC)

132 Kate Upton loves me and she wants to have my children.

Posted by: Truck Monkey, Aiming His Torpedo at December 16, 2014 12:31 PM (32Ze2)

133 Bronx Science grads > Stuyvesant grads

You can't study hard knocks in TriBeCa.

Posted by: Oschisms at December 16, 2014 12:31 PM (uqV2n)

134 "Because if the last month is any indication, those chicks will fall for ANYTHING."

Something tells me you haven't met many of those "chicks".

Or have really low/no standards.

Posted by: anon a mouse at December 16, 2014 12:31 PM (/jpU8)

135 They should nail him for tax evasion and securities fraud.

Posted by: Boss Moss at December 16, 2014 12:31 PM (wVBo0)

136 #IWillInvestWithYou

Posted by: Tex Lovera at December 16, 2014 12:31 PM (wtvvX)

137 119 "Mo's" real take from the stock market is more modest: Zero dollars. Zero point zero dollars, and zero cents.

American.

Well played, Ace.

Posted by: Cicero (@cicero) at December 16, 2014 12:30 PM (8ZskC)

Well.... they do say the a Moslem created the Zero.... soooo....

Posted by: The Big Bad Wolf... at December 16, 2014 12:32 PM (f0pWu)

138 Let me tell you about taking Jeanette Littledove to the Senior Prom.

Posted by: Jinx the Cat at December 16, 2014 12:32 PM (l3vZN)

139 Hey kid, just have all the money tragically die. Then everyone will feel sorry for you.
Posted by: Mantei Teo at December 16, 2014 12:31 PM (TOk1P)

----

Dammit..... Mt Dew out the nose again.

Posted by: fixerupper at December 16, 2014 12:32 PM (NaV4z)

140 i own the last of the V8 Interceptors

Posted by: Pac Man at December 16, 2014 12:32 PM (X05fp)

141 I'm not saying that is what happened here but play land is not the real world.
Posted by: Patrick J. at December 16, 2014 12:29 PM (3KcdH)

There's also the bit where you're dealing with Monopoly money vs. tens of millions of other people's dollars that will be missed.

Posted by: Secundus at December 16, 2014 12:32 PM (lZ1M5)

142 "This Way to the Egress"!!!

Posted by: Works every time at December 16, 2014 12:32 PM (VndSC)

143 A paying subscriber might care if the information he reads is false, but Web advertisers care only if their ads are working.

Lots of impetus to move toward the model that tabloids use in print.

Likewise, I bet this story about the guy who got his book pulled from Amazon for too many hyphens is not kosher either. It's a way to attract attention to his book.

Posted by: Nicholas Kronos at December 16, 2014 12:32 PM (mPYNA)

144 My brother Yusuf used to be Cat Stevens. True story.

Posted by: Mohammed Islam at December 16, 2014 12:32 PM (8ZskC)

145 Let's not start calling all teen multimillionaires liars just because Mohammed Islam is broke

#IStandWithMohammedIslam

Posted by: Average Joe at December 16, 2014 12:32 PM (CkjRf)

146 If Obama had a son, he'd look like Islam Muhammad. Oh, and a little bit like Reggie.

Posted by: Brave Sir Robin at December 16, 2014 12:32 PM (5buP8)

147 Where you always save Mo money.

Posted by: Roy at December 16, 2014 12:33 PM (VndSC)

148 Bronx Science grads > Stuyvesant grads

You got NdGT.

SHS FTW, baby!

(What do you call the kids who couldn't get into SHS? Bronx Science!)

Posted by: anon a mouse at December 16, 2014 12:33 PM (/jpU8)

149 But isn't it really about the greater narrative and not the facts in this particular story?
I think this shows that we must have Congress do something about out of control stock market investment speculation. Do something NOW to stop this child from potentially upending Wall Sreet, er, or bankrupting his family.

Posted by: Lizzy at December 16, 2014 12:33 PM (ABcz/)

150 I've rescued hundreds of princesses.

The only reason we're all safe is because of all the invading aliens I've dispatched over the years.

That's the ONLY REASON!!11!!

Posted by: BackwardsBoy, Curmudgeon Extraordinaire at December 16, 2014 12:33 PM (0HooB)

151 Really?

No one bothered to like ask to see a bank statement?

$0.00 you say? I mean FFS, I made more than that in the stock market by that age. (I had one mutual fund investment. It went bust not long after.)

Posted by: tsrblke, PhD(c) And father to be in 3 (short) weeks! at December 16, 2014 12:33 PM (HDwDg)

152 ***** Alphabet Networks *****
Let us supply all your fabrication needs

Posted by: Illiniwek at December 16, 2014 12:34 PM (sXWe5)

153 Did I ever tell you I'm the most winningest player evah in HALO CTF?

Really. It's true...

Posted by: Chi-Town Jerry at December 16, 2014 12:34 PM (4+IgA)

154 Whatever the truth is in this particular case, young Mohammed has done us all a favor by raising awareness about the huge profits that can be made by teenagers in the stock market.

Posted by: Cicero (@cicero) at December 16, 2014 12:34 PM (8ZskC)

155 Thankfully the Muslims invented 'zero' so he can describe exactly what he made.

Posted by: RWC - Shopping for Justice! at December 16, 2014 12:34 PM (fWAjv)

156 The MFM is populated with "reporters" who could not even pass muster at a high school paper.

Posted by: maddogg at December 16, 2014 12:34 PM (xWW96)

157 In my undergrad days, one of my finance class assignments was to simulate trading stocks. Everyone did amazingly well since when it's not your money, you don't give a fuck. You take insane risks and if they pay off, great. This was the mid 90s when stocks were going only up. So you buy some options on some no name NASD listing, in a few days you can be up 1000%. Rinse repeat the next week.

Of course nobody actually does this in the real world.

Posted by: Mr. Moo Moo at December 16, 2014 12:34 PM (0LHZx)

158 Barack Obama is a SCOAMT.

Posted by: AllenG (DedicatedTenther) - TrueCon at December 16, 2014 12:34 PM (M1uf/)

159
#Icantearn.

#Noearningsnopeace.

#HANDSUPWHERESTHELOOT

#MyStatementIsaComposite

#BARRYRAPEDMYACCOUNT

Posted by: fixerupper at December 16, 2014 12:34 PM (NaV4z)

160 Now if he said he'd invented a new kind of bomb ...

Posted by: Jay Guevara at December 16, 2014 12:34 PM (oKE6c)

161 Piker. I made way more money than that in Skyrim.

Posted by: Boss Moss at December 16, 2014 12:35 PM (wVBo0)

162 No one bothered to like ask to see a bank statement?

$0.00 you say? I mean FFS, I made more than that in the stock market by that age. (I had one mutual fund investment. It went bust not long after.)

Posted by: tsrblke, PhD(c) And father to be in 3 (short) weeks! at December 16, 2014 12:33 PM (HDwDg)

Article says he showed them what looked like a Bank Statement.... it was apparently photo shopped...

Posted by: The Big Bad Wolf... at December 16, 2014 12:35 PM (f0pWu)

163 "they do say the a Moslem created the Zero"

Only Moslems say that. And those wanting them to feel good about themselves.

Posted by: anon a mouse at December 16, 2014 12:35 PM (/jpU8)

164 In the kid's defense, a babe was asking him questions and acting all impressed. And she seemed gullible.

Posted by: @votermom at December 16, 2014 12:35 PM (cbfNE)

165 This story I am SURE is true..... Just ask my wife.... MORGAN FAIRCHILD! Yeah, .... That's the ticket.

Posted by: Tommy Flanagan at December 16, 2014 12:35 PM (32Ze2)

166 This story I am SURE is true..... Just ask my wife.... MORGAN FAIRCHILD! Yeah, .... That's the ticket.

Posted by: Tommy Flanagan at December 16, 2014 12:35 PM (32Ze2)

167 We were all told that SOMETHING MUST HAVE HAPPENED to Jackie, so using that logic, Mohammed MUST HAVE MADE SOME MONEY.

Yes?

Posted by: Mr. Moo Moo at December 16, 2014 12:35 PM (0LHZx)

168 No one bothered to like ask to see a bank statement?

The article said that there was a Chase bank statement with a figure matching the alleged amount. Aside from this sentence, no one confirmed this at all.

Posted by: EC at December 16, 2014 12:35 PM (GQ8sn)

169
Other than the "truth".
---
After the thousandth time, you notice it a bit less

Posted by: the truth at December 16, 2014 12:36 PM (/eTPT)

170 30 The story, in her mind, was still worth doing. 'The story is the reason to love New York,' she said. 'And I came to love the fact that these kids are running around the city with these big dreams. It can only happen in New York, these kids eating caviar, talking about how they're going to be the new Koch bothers. It seems like a uniquely New York milieu.'"

Yeah, only in New York do people dream of being rich.

Posted by: Jay Guevara at December 16, 2014 12:36 PM (oKE6c)

171 163 "they do say the a Moslem created the Zero"

Only Moslems say that. And those wanting them to feel good about themselves.

Posted by: anon a mouse at December 16, 2014 12:35 PM (/jpU

Which is why I stated it that way.... /smile

Posted by: The Big Bad Wolf... at December 16, 2014 12:36 PM (f0pWu)

172 What is that saying? "Layers and layers...?"

Posted by: blaster at December 16, 2014 12:36 PM (Rx8ML)

173 Are we this desperate for "positive news" ?

Posted by: Brandon Finnigan at December 16, 2014 12:36 PM (wf/lo)

174 Okay, this is utterly ridiculous.

Does *no one* fact-check anymore?

I guess in this case, though, some reporter did at least interview the subject of the piece and he lied to her. But c'mon, man. This is journalism 101, "If your mom says she loves you, confirm with 2 other sources."

Posted by: AllenG (DedicatedTenther) - TrueCon at December 16, 2014 12:36 PM (M1uf/)

175 Everything that mohomodans say they invented was invented by an actual civilization.

Posted by: Boss Moss at December 16, 2014 12:36 PM (wVBo0)

176
150 I've rescued hundreds of princesses. The only reason we're all safe is because of all the invading aliens I've dispatched over the years. That's the ONLY REASON!!11!!
Posted by: BackwardsBoy, Curmudgeon Extraordinaire at December 16, 2014 12:33 PM (0HooB)

Don't be so dismissive and sarcastic about that.

Posted by: Ender at December 16, 2014 12:37 PM (zt+N6)

177 WTF is Business Insider (other than a POS aggregator of crap)?

Posted by: ParisParamus at December 16, 2014 12:37 PM (wAGum)

178 His full name is Mohammed Madoff Islam.

Posted by: The Great White Snark at December 16, 2014 12:37 PM (XUKZU)

179 164 In the kid's defense, a babe was asking him questions and acting all impressed. And she seemed gullible.
Posted by: @votermom at December 16, 2014 12:35 PM (cbfNE)

So ... did he get any?

Posted by: Jay Guevara at December 16, 2014 12:37 PM (oKE6c)

180 So, fake success, padded resume, based on lies, from an elite school, and with a foreign name.

He could run for President on the Democrat ticket. He'd be their darling.

Posted by: Keith Arnold at December 16, 2014 12:37 PM (iIzG7)

181 Yeah, only in New York do people dream of being rich.
Posted by: Jay Guevara at December 16, 2014 12:36 PM (oKE6c)

_________

Outside of NYC, everyone is too busy being racist to dream about anything else.

Posted by: Mr. Moo Moo at December 16, 2014 12:37 PM (0LHZx)

182 #I'llRapeWithYou

Posted by: Bill Cosby at December 16, 2014 12:37 PM (32Ze2)

183 Yeah, only in New York do people dream of being rich.

I know, right? Puke!
And with online trading it literally could happen anywhere ther is internet service available.

Posted by: Lizzy at December 16, 2014 12:37 PM (ABcz/)

184 How do you write 'zero' in Roman Numerals?

Posted by: Skandia Recluse at December 16, 2014 12:37 PM (ulJ9/)

185 163 "they do say the a Moslem created the Zero"

And don't forget the clitorectomy. That was ours too.

Posted by: The Religion of Peace at December 16, 2014 12:37 PM (8ZskC)

186 "Everything that mohomodans say they invented was invented by an actual civilization"

Nah, I'd give them the 72 raisins and goat humping.

Especially the goat humping.

Posted by: anon a mouse at December 16, 2014 12:37 PM (/jpU8)

187 I thought the Chicago Bears invented the zero?

Posted by: Boss Moss at December 16, 2014 12:37 PM (wVBo0)

188

I don't care if he showed them a bank statement

he is a minor. there is no way he traded under his own name

how stupid are they? 14 year old wins the indy 500!!!

Posted by: ThunderB at December 16, 2014 12:38 PM (zOTsN)

189
The only reason we're all safe is because of all the invading aliens I've dispatched over the years.

That's the ONLY REASON!!11!!
---
You meest a few gringo

Posted by: 11,000,000 mexicans at December 16, 2014 12:38 PM (/eTPT)

190 Posted by: Mr. Moo Moo at December 16, 2014 12:34 PM (0LHZx

The London Whale would like to have a word.

Posted by: The Big Bad Wolf... at December 16, 2014 12:35 PM (f0pWu)

Really? Some one shows me a $72 million bank statement I'm going to check for things like photoshop.

Posted by: tsrblke, PhD(c) And father to be in 3 (short) weeks! at December 16, 2014 12:38 PM (HDwDg)

191 It can only happen in New York, these kids eating caviar, talking about how they're going to be the new Koch bothers. It seems like a uniquely New York milieu.

Wait. What?

Besides, I thought "Koch brothers bad." Why would you want people to emulate them? Or any other of those rich greedy bastards who (because you believe there is a finite amount of wealth in the world and commerce is a zero-sum game) are obviously stealing from poor people?

Posted by: AllenG (DedicatedTenther) - TrueCon at December 16, 2014 12:38 PM (M1uf/)

192 171 163 "they do say the a Moslem created the Zero"
Only Moslems say that. And those wanting them to feel good about themselves.
Posted by: anon a mouse at December 16, 2014 12:35 PM (/jpU

They invented the zero so they could provide a succinct answer when someone asked them what they'd accomplished in the last millennium.

Posted by: Jay Guevara at December 16, 2014 12:38 PM (oKE6c)

193 But it was such a GREAT story...

Puts Islam in a good light... probably an immigrant or child of immigrant parents... some Profit without being a real part of Wall Street and those evil banks...

Come on... the 'Narrative' was dynamite on soooo many levels..

Posted by: The Big Bad Wolf... at December 16, 2014 12:38 PM (f0pWu)

194 177 WTF is Business Insider (other than a POS aggregator of crap)?
Posted by: ParisParamus at December 16, 2014 12:37 PM (wAGum)

__________

It's the Huffington Post of business media. Every story is basically greed is evil, the workers are awesome, taxes are too low.

Posted by: Mr. Moo Moo at December 16, 2014 12:38 PM (0LHZx)

195 The excitement of reading newspapers now will be to check the corrections and corrections of the corrections the next day!!

Posted by: Arcadehero at December 16, 2014 12:38 PM (27BfC)

196 I thought the Chicago Bears invented the zero?
Posted by: Boss Moss at December 16, 2014 12:37 PM (wVBo0)

No, but they did invent negative distances

Posted by: Secundus at December 16, 2014 12:39 PM (lZ1M5)

197 Business Insider is a right leaning publication. Stunning that they fell for this

Posted by: ThunderB at December 16, 2014 12:39 PM (zOTsN)

198 And the voters supported the Dems but just didn't turn out to vote.(When fantasy and reality collide.)

Posted by: Clarice Feldman at December 16, 2014 12:39 PM (hTLqd)

199 "The excitement of reading newspapers now will be to check the corrections and corrections of the corrections the next day!! "

so more clicks, then? FORWARD!

Posted by: anon a mouse at December 16, 2014 12:39 PM (/jpU8)

200 "they do say the a Moslem created the Zero"

-
Mistranslation. It should be "Muslims created zero."

Posted by: The Great White Snark at December 16, 2014 12:39 PM (XUKZU)

201 Fact checkers? We don't need no stinkin' fact checkers!

That's raaaaacist.

Salute to Stacy Mc: I put all 5 a's in Raaaaacism.

Posted by: 1bulwetweft at December 16, 2014 12:39 PM (5Un6g)

202 I thought BI was right leaning

Posted by: ThunderB at December 16, 2014 12:39 PM (zOTsN)

203
Zero dollars. Zero point zero dollars, and zero cents.
---
Fat lying and muslim is no way to go through life son

Posted by: Dean wormer at December 16, 2014 12:39 PM (/eTPT)

204 It just reinforces the fact: The left no longer cares about truth. it's all about feelings. FEEEEEEEEEEEEEeeeeeeelings! Woah, woah, woha FEEEEEEeeeeelings!
True story: While the Mike Brown shooting was raging here in StL, my wife got into a FB skirmish w/a lib acquaintance. She was talking about taking up a collection for his mother. My wife said she better check out the facts of the case before starting her 501-C3 for the Gentle Giant. Woman replied: "Oh, I haven't been following the FACTS of this case, I just FEEL bad for his mother."
Yep.

Posted by: Brave Sir Robin at December 16, 2014 12:40 PM (5buP8)

205 168 -

So if I am to understand you correctly, this proves George Bush did not complete his National Guard service?

Posted by: D. Rather at December 16, 2014 12:40 PM (TOk1P)

206 Ya know, this also reminds me of Obama claiming he heard the non-voters with the 2014 mid-terms.

Posted by: Lizzy at December 16, 2014 12:40 PM (ABcz/)

207 186 "Everything that mohomodans say they invented was invented by an actual civilization"

Nah, I'd give them the 72 raisins and goat humping.

Especially the goat humping.

Posted by: anon a mouse at December 16, 2014 12:37 PM (/jpU

Nah....

Posted by: Ug, the Neandrathal Outcast, who never had children for some reason at December 16, 2014 12:40 PM (f0pWu)

208 On the one hand the story seems, on its face, highly improbable.

On the other hand, Jay Cutler is a highly compensated starting quarterback for a professional football team.

Strange times....strange times indeed.

Posted by: Mallamutt, RINO President of the Sheena Easton Fan Club at December 16, 2014 12:40 PM (OWjjx)

209 I'm uncomfortable with some the analogies being made here. The financial world is made up of esteemed financial institutions such as Goldman Sachs, JPMorgan Chase and Citibank, which provide essential services to the American public. How is there any comparison to what may or may not have happened in a college fraternity?

Posted by: Average Joe at December 16, 2014 12:40 PM (CkjRf)

210 (What do you call the kids who couldn't get into SHS? Bronx Science!)

---------------------

What do you call a decapitated body found in a dumpster under the Jerome Avenue el? A Stuy kid visiting the Bronx!

Posted by: Oschisms at December 16, 2014 12:40 PM (uqV2n)

211 People in Dot India invented the zero.

Posted by: Boss Moss at December 16, 2014 12:41 PM (wVBo0)

212 they do say the a Moslem created the Zero

LOLWUT

Posted by: Pythagorus and Euclid at December 16, 2014 12:41 PM (M1uf/)

213 All I can say about this guy is: Cut. Jib. Newsletter.

He probably parlayed this one rumor into more ass than most of us will see in a lifetime.

Posted by: Sharkman at December 16, 2014 12:41 PM (rXB/r)

214
104Rush is covering this now.
---
i'm looking forward to the drum solo...

Posted by: Geddy at December 16, 2014 12:41 PM (/eTPT)

215 At some point, you've made enough fake money.

Posted by: SCOAMF at December 16, 2014 12:41 PM (Ks4nX)

216 "they do say the a Moslem created the Zero"

Only Moslems say that. And those wanting them to feel good about themselves.

That actually got lost in translation. The original quote was, "Moslems have invented nothing."

Posted by: BackwardsBoy, Curmudgeon Extraordinaire at December 16, 2014 12:41 PM (0HooB)

217 206 Ya know, this also reminds me of Obama claiming he heard the non-voters with the 2014 mid-terms.
Posted by: Lizzy at December 16, 2014 12:40 PM (ABcz/)

72 million of 'em.

Coinky-dink?

Posted by: Jay Guevara at December 16, 2014 12:41 PM (oKE6c)

218 OT: Freedom Fighters in Pakistan kill over 100 school children in fight for freedom, or something.

Posted by: Meremortal at December 16, 2014 12:42 PM (1Y+hH)

219 Salute to Stacy Mc: I put all 5 a's in Raaaaacism.

Posted by: 1bulwetweft at December 16, 2014 12:39 PM (5Un6g)

Well.. it is mandatory here as well, or at least greatly encouraged.

Posted by: AoS Stylebook Editor at December 16, 2014 12:42 PM (f0pWu)

220 You know how they say that making your first million is the hardest one?

Posted by: George Costanza at December 16, 2014 12:42 PM (7dN+w)

221 I score this story "mostly true"

Posted by: MSM at December 16, 2014 12:42 PM (/W/f0)

222
What is that saying? "Layers and layers...?"
---
i believe it is "Liar and Liars"

Posted by: buzzsaw90 at December 16, 2014 12:43 PM (/eTPT)

223 I score this story "mostly true"
Posted by: MSM at December 16, 2014 12:42 PM (/W/f0)

In the sense that there is such a thing as a stock market, and on this market, money changes hands?

Posted by: Secundus at December 16, 2014 12:43 PM (lZ1M5)

224 Hindu-Arabic Numerals. The goatfuckers stole those even.

Posted by: Boss Moss at December 16, 2014 12:43 PM (wVBo0)

225 Fake but accurate!?!!?

Posted by: Mary Mapes at December 16, 2014 12:43 PM (LoIJo)

226 On the other hand, Jay Cutler is a highly compensated starting quarterback for a professional football team.

Okay... It seemed mean to ask, but after last night's... performance... I have to.

Who in their right mind highers Jay Cutler as a starting quarterback? Especially for 54 million (guaranteed)?

Posted by: AllenG (DedicatedTenther) - TrueCon at December 16, 2014 12:43 PM (M1uf/)

227 In so many ways, this is the story of Obama.

Posted by: garrett at December 16, 2014 12:43 PM (7dN+w)

228 So, fake success, padded resume, based on lies, from an elite school, and with a foreign name.

He could run for President on the Democrat ticket. He'd be their darling.

Posted by: Keith Arnold at December 16, 2014 12:37 PM (iIzG7)

Oh come one racist Amerikkka would never elect some guy with a Muslim name President....

Oh, wait.

Posted by: blaster at December 16, 2014 12:43 PM (Rx8ML)

229 While the story of Mohammed's capital gains windfall is "in dispute", the larger point remains---We should let high school kids take care of all our investment accounts!

Posted by: Kasper Agonista at December 16, 2014 12:43 PM (HqpV0)

230 hires.

Posted by: Boss Moss at December 16, 2014 12:44 PM (wVBo0)

231 >>>He probably parlayed this one rumor into more ass than most of us will see in a lifetime.<<<

Does simulated poontang count?

Posted by: Fritz at December 16, 2014 12:44 PM (UzPAd)

232
this kid is fat and about 3'11". His family has money. He made up this story to be cool

and all of that escaped the reporter. Oh, and his age making it impossible to trade

Posted by: ThunderB at December 16, 2014 12:44 PM (zOTsN)

233 Posted by: Brave Sir Robin at December 16, 2014 12:40 PM (5buP8

Having lost cousins younger than me, it sucks to loose someone, even a thug.

And yet, a collection? He wasn't bringing in any money for the mom. Financially she's no worse off.

You want to feel bad, I just lost a classmate in that plane crash in the DC area. He left behind a wife who's three months pregnant.

FFS people's priorities are messed up.

Posted by: tsrblke, PhD(c) And father to be in 3 (short) weeks! at December 16, 2014 12:44 PM (HDwDg)

234 On the other hand, the kid's lies were still more coherent than anything Joe Biden has said.

Posted by: Mallamutt, RINO President of the Sheena Easton Fan Club at December 16, 2014 12:44 PM (OWjjx)

235 They admit they were duped in fact checking. Fact checking should have been done first.

Posted by: Carol at December 16, 2014 12:45 PM (sj3Ax)

236 Muslims invented Poontang.

Posted by: garrett at December 16, 2014 12:45 PM (7dN+w)

237 218
OT: Freedom Fighters in Pakistan kill over 100 school children in fight for freedom, or something. Posted by: Meremortal at December 16, 2014 12:42 PM (1Y+hH)

Yeah, saw this. The story I read said the muzzie sadists also burnt their teacher alive in front of them. If true, and it CERTAINLY is within their wheelhouse, then hell is too good for these assholes. But I'd love the chance to send as many there as I could. Fcuking savages.

Posted by: 1bulwetweft - food and ammo, folks. Food and ammo. at December 16, 2014 12:45 PM (5Un6g)

238 And here at CNN, we are proud to welcome our new Financial Analyst, Mohammed Islam to our team....

Posted by: CNN, next week at December 16, 2014 12:46 PM (f0pWu)

239 Not only did I make 72 Million last week but my slong is bigger than Shag's

Posted by: Nevergiveup at December 16, 2014 12:46 PM (Zmw74)

240 The New York Times, all the Fiction that's fit to Print.

Posted by: ALH at December 16, 2014 12:46 PM (yAPdC)

241 Malaria is heartbroken?

Posted by: Boss Moss at December 16, 2014 12:46 PM (wVBo0)

242 gentle giants mama didn't raise him. Grandma did and a parade of other relatives. mamma beat up grandma for the memorial t shirt money and got arrested for it. don't send her anything

Posted by: ThunderB at December 16, 2014 12:46 PM (zOTsN)

243 In the old days, didn't anyone ever wonder why the years were going backwards?

Posted by: Joe Biden at December 16, 2014 12:46 PM (8ZskC)

244 Speaking of Kate Upton, didja know that those commercials where she and her Funbags are leading troops into battle use actual combat footage of a real war?

True.

I'm the guy who shot down the dragon after she let me rub up against her.

Posted by: Sharkman at December 16, 2014 12:47 PM (rXB/r)

245

We're going to need some kind of online index - simple to read and check (no membership) that accumulates these, with the publication attached.

The NY Times would probably lead the list.

Posted by: artisanal 'ette: Joyfully doing Christmas stuff. at December 16, 2014 12:47 PM (IXrOn)

246 was it bitcoin ?

Posted by: seamrog at December 16, 2014 12:47 PM (hFAQK)

247 We stand by the story.

Posted by: Dan Rather at December 16, 2014 12:47 PM (ZWRoJ)

248 Yeah, saw this. The story I read said the muzzie sadists also burnt their teacher alive in front of them. If true, and it CERTAINLY is within their wheelhouse, then hell is too good for these assholes. But I'd love the chance to send as many there as I could. Fcuking savages.

Posted by: 1bulwetweft - food and ammo, folks. Food and ammo. at December 16, 2014 12:45 PM (5Un6g)

----

Supposedly.... this was "revenge" for that one girl that won the Nobel.

Im sure somebody will chime in about "not really Islamic" and "backlash" and second now.

Posted by: fixerupper at December 16, 2014 12:47 PM (NaV4z)

249 Hey.... is this guy interested in an Internship?
Posted by: Global Warming Model Programmer
----------------

Or analyzing the Ferguson Grand Jury report?

Posted by: PBS at December 16, 2014 12:47 PM (F2IAQ)

250
235 They admit they were duped in fact checking. Fact checking should have been done first.
-------------------
In know, right. What a bunch of frauds. I'm shocked and embarrassed for my profession.

Posted by: Sabrina Rubin Erdsley at December 16, 2014 12:48 PM (OD2ni)

251 So, pretty much all of the media is, at least from the factual standpoint, Penthouse Forum?

Posted by: blaster at December 16, 2014 12:48 PM (Rx8ML)

252 244 Speaking of Kate Upton, didja know that those commercials where she and her Funbags are leading troops into battle use actual combat footage of a real war?

True.

I'm the guy who shot down the dragon after she let me rub up against her.

Posted by: Sharkman at December 16, 2014 12:47 PM (rXB/r)

Yeah.... I woulda been there... if it hadn't been for the arrow through the knee....

Posted by: NPC... at December 16, 2014 12:48 PM (f0pWu)

253 Hey, it wasn't us. We're the one with all the unfunny cartoons and shit.

Posted by: The New Yorker at December 16, 2014 12:48 PM (8ZskC)

254 We'd like to announce our newest diversity hire!

Posted by: Dept. of The Treasury at December 16, 2014 12:48 PM (GQ8sn)

255 Has he seen Morgan Fairchild naked?

Posted by: Teresa in Fort Worth, TX (@Teresa_Koch) at December 16, 2014 12:48 PM (PZ6/M)

256 did they interview the parents? you think they would

Posted by: ThunderB at December 16, 2014 12:48 PM (zOTsN)

257 Or analyzing the Ferguson Grand Jury report?

Or running the federal gubmint?

Posted by: BackwardsBoy, Curmudgeon Extraordinaire at December 16, 2014 12:49 PM (0HooB)

258 All reporters should have good resumes since it's all bull$hit anyway.

Posted by: Boss Moss at December 16, 2014 12:49 PM (wVBo0)

259 I'm the guy who shot down the dragon after she let me rub up against her.
Posted by: Sharkman
--------------------------

Funny you should say that, I brushed up against Mary Travers, and shortly thereafter Puff disappeared.

Posted by: Mike Hammer, etc., etc. at December 16, 2014 12:49 PM (F2IAQ)

260 >>> Another Viral Media Story Turns Out To Be, Get This, Completely Fabricated

A million little fibbers.

Posted by: LizLem at December 16, 2014 12:50 PM (yRwC8)

261 Reporter is moving up to Bloomberg News. I hope offer is rescinded.

Posted by: Carol at December 16, 2014 12:50 PM (sj3Ax)

262 @197 actually, they posted the only skeptical article about it, before it unraveled.

Posted by: Chairman LMAO at December 16, 2014 12:50 PM (TMUWU)

263 Mohammed Islam?

Guilty.

Posted by: Citizen X at December 16, 2014 12:50 PM (7ObY1)

264 Has he seen Morgan Fairchild naked?
Posted by: Teresa in Fort Worth, TX (@Teresa_Koch) at December 16, 2014 12:48 PM (PZ6/M)
***********
Yeahhhhhh........

Posted by: Tommy Flanagan at December 16, 2014 12:51 PM (32Ze2)

265 Liberty Valance? I'm the guy that shot him.
Have New York magazine call me. I'll tell them the whole story.

Posted by: tu3031 at December 16, 2014 12:51 PM (i0wGQ)

266 Having lost cousins younger than me, it sucks to loose someone, even a thug.
Agreed. I wasn't trying to be crass about death and loss. just to round out the picture: The woman in question had strong feelings b/c Mike Brown's mother waited on her at a (very) high-end supermarket. White guilt run rampant.

Posted by: Brave Sir Robin at December 16, 2014 12:51 PM (5buP8)

267 He owes 15% of 72 million in taxes.

Posted by: Boss Moss at December 16, 2014 12:51 PM (wVBo0)

268 Give the poor guy a break. He's in the news, his name is Mohammed, and he hasn't murdered people.

Posted by: Cicero (@cicero) at December 16, 2014 12:51 PM (8ZskC)

269 All reporters should have good resumes since it's all bull$hit anyway.
Posted by: Boss Moss at December 16, 2014 12:49 PM (wVBo0)
***********
Heh....

Posted by: Preznit Urkel X at December 16, 2014 12:52 PM (32Ze2)

270 $72 million in non-existent trades, but stuck with Michelle O's school lunches...should have been somewhat of a clue to the so-called reporter.

Posted by: Kathleen Sebelius at December 16, 2014 12:52 PM (MelgH)

271 Muslims enriching Pakistan schools, complete with incineration of teachers, bombs and shooting children.

Something about a Noble Peace Prize.

Posted by: Meremortal at December 16, 2014 12:53 PM (1Y+hH)

272 Any of y'all keeping up with the murder of the MS girl, Jessica Chambers? She was found burning to death on a country road ten days ago. Largely ignored my MSM, but I read Greta gave mention last night.

It reads like fiction but, whoa (see: The Conservative Treehouse blog coverage as well as an anonymous twitter who kept digging and the FBI, ATF, US Marshall's are now in the town. Apparently, the Dixie Mafia of Memphis have spilled into rual Mississippi. On top of gangsta stuff, the owner of the little shop/gas/grocery store is from: Yemen. A 19 yr old "owner" (father owns several of these type stores), of a store in the middle of nowhere MS, making around $500-$1 million a year. #blownaway

Times are busy at my chateau with holidays.

Merry Christmas to All Morons and 'Ettes. xoxo

Posted by: ChristyBlinky at December 16, 2014 12:53 PM (dMEBN)

273 I have simulated fucking Kate Upton at least 72 million times. Does that count

Posted by: Nip Sip at December 16, 2014 12:53 PM (osxzA)

274 248

Nobels are haram. Its why you hardly ever see ME names on the lists.

Posted by: Pac Man at December 16, 2014 12:53 PM (G1Mfv)

275
They admit they were duped in fact checking. Fact checking should have been done first.
---
So their defense is they can be fooled by children...

Posted by: buzzsaw90 at December 16, 2014 12:53 PM (/eTPT)

276 Senate may confirm up to 88 federal judges in '14

I wish this were fake.

Posted by: TVoC Hates the GOP at December 16, 2014 12:54 PM (XzRw1)

277 Zero point zero dollars and zero cents is worth a lot in Russian rubles.

Posted by: 3.14159 at December 16, 2014 12:54 PM (MaINI)

278 typo fail.

Posted by: Meremortal at December 16, 2014 12:54 PM (1Y+hH)

279 >>A million little fibbers.

And a million little squirrels distracting the masses....

Posted by: Lizzy at December 16, 2014 12:54 PM (ABcz/)

280 That isn't even enough money to hire Jay Cutler.

Posted by: Boss Moss at December 16, 2014 12:55 PM (wVBo0)

281 I can't believe this guy would lie about getting 72 of something.

Posted by: Mega at December 16, 2014 12:55 PM (hHFOx)

282 226 -

Granted, Cutler looks really bad these days, and I'm not going to ever say he was worth the contract, but the NFL is currently populated by about half a dozen really good QBs, another dozen or so serviceable guys, and then everyone else is trotting out some scrub who... well, is somewhere between Hoyer and Manzel (yeah, I misspelled it, sue me!).

I would say Cutler is on the high end of the scrubs list, really.

Posted by: BurtTC at December 16, 2014 12:55 PM (TOk1P)

283 #I'llRideWithYouToTheATM

Posted by: ThunderB at December 16, 2014 12:55 PM (zOTsN)

284
I'm wondering if THIS is how we destroy the MFM. Troll the shit out of them with patently false stories that pander to their prejudices, then tear them down when they publish without proper fact checking.

......and a little child shall lead them. *snort*

Posted by: IllTemperedCur at December 16, 2014 12:55 PM (TIIx5)

285 You know also turned out to be a total figment of the media's imagination??

Posted by: Barack Obama 2008! at December 16, 2014 12:56 PM (DLu2s)

286 281 I can't believe this guy would lie about getting 72 of something.
Huh. Just, huh. Why is 72 the magic muzzie number?

Posted by: Brave Sir Robin at December 16, 2014 12:56 PM (5buP8)

287
they got tricked by a high school student
she must not be a parent

Posted by: ThunderB at December 16, 2014 12:56 PM (zOTsN)

288 This story is racist.

Posted by: Boss Moss at December 16, 2014 12:57 PM (wVBo0)

289 Posted by: IllTemperedCur at December 16, 2014 12:55 PM (TIIx5)

Love the reference to Isaiah. That verse has been popping up in my mind on a regular basis these days.

Posted by: 1bulwetweft - food and ammo, folks. Food and ammo. at December 16, 2014 12:57 PM (5Un6g)

290 72 million and he is still at PS 72 in Queens? The "reporter" is a retard.

Posted by: Truck Monkey, Aiming His Torpedo at December 16, 2014 12:57 PM (32Ze2)

291 If he had said 19 million, I would have believed it.

Posted by: Louis Farrakhan at December 16, 2014 12:57 PM (OD2ni)

292 Oh and the article calls him and his friend, both with beards, boyish. They look like jihadis.

Posted by: Baldy at December 16, 2014 12:57 PM (+35FH)

293 OT a little,
So Pakistanis find that harboring UBL near their version of West Point for several years is no shield in the jihadi game, when it come to killing their children.

Posted by: Desmond Dekker at December 16, 2014 12:58 PM (/WmRg)

294
287 they got tricked by a high school studentshe must not be a parent
Posted by: ThunderB at December 16, 2014 12:56 PM (zOTsN)

Or they are, and always want to be their kid's friend.

Posted by: buzzion at December 16, 2014 12:58 PM (zt+N6)

295 Couldn't he afford a private school for that?

Posted by: Boss Moss at December 16, 2014 12:58 PM (wVBo0)

296 284 I'm wondering if THIS is how we destroy the MFM. Troll the shit out of them with patently false stories that pander to their prejudices, then tear them down when they publish without proper fact checking.......and a little child shall lead them. *snort*

Posted by: IllTemperedCur at December 16, 2014 12:55 PM (TIIx5)

Had a similar thought: we need to push stories like these far and wide, to undermine the credibility of the MSM, which liberals tend to cite in support of their views. Stories like these make it clear how easily duped the MSM are, while others make it equally clear how all-in they are for the leftist agenda.

Posted by: Jay Guevara at December 16, 2014 12:58 PM (oKE6c)

297
I am a moronette who just landed a gig as Playmate of the Year, hosting the next Oscars, and as Kate Upton's body double.

Sure. Don't laugh!

Posted by: cheri at December 16, 2014 12:58 PM (oiNtH)

298 Posted by: IllTemperedCur at December 16, 2014 12:55 PM (TIIx5)

Well, it just so happens I've invented a nano-drone that eats CO2 and shits manna.

Now, with the propoer backing to produce 40 million of these little guys....I can save the world!!!

Posted by: Meremortal at December 16, 2014 12:58 PM (1Y+hH)

299 gonna look great on his application to Columbia

Posted by: ThunderB at December 16, 2014 12:59 PM (zOTsN)

300 I would like to point out that I claimed Kate Upton first (#21, upthread), but I suppose that's the good thing about simulated whoopee. It's not like we have to take turns.

Posted by: BurtTC at December 16, 2014 12:59 PM (TOk1P)

301 Yeah, we need more unrest in Pakistan. Like Arabs with nucs aren't already a growing concern......

Posted by: 1bulwetweft - food and ammo, folks. Food and ammo. at December 16, 2014 12:59 PM (5Un6g)

302 OT: Freedom Fighters in Pakistan kill over 100 school children in fight
for freedom, or something. Posted by: Meremortal at December 16, 2014
12:42 PM (1Y+hH)

Hey, hold on! From the link in today's headlines.....

It was a Taliban led attack on a Pakistan military run school.

Let's scratch this one up as a win.... yeah, yeah,,, but the children....Muslim children in a PAKISTAN military school. I'm seeing upsides here.

Posted by: Stateless Infidel at December 16, 2014 12:59 PM (AC0lD)

303 @264 Anyone remember Sybil Danning in the 80s? Yeah, I had her.

Posted by: Chairman LMAO at December 16, 2014 12:59 PM (TMUWU)

304 I found Mr Islams story totally believable.

Remember, I was the one that a few short decades ago converted my house hold money into hundreds of thousands of dollars and never, ever lost on a futures trade.

Posted by: Hillary, the Annointed One at December 16, 2014 12:59 PM (i4eXO)

305 >>> It can only happen in New York, these kids eating caviar, talking
about how they're going to be the new Koch bothers. It seems like a
uniquely New York milieu.

I wonder if this "journalist" also think that the ads on TV with the kids playing like actual adults, flipping houses and having successful startups, are real.

And yes I find those commercials with the precocious kids annoying. I might need to start looking for a good lawn so I can properly tell them to keep off it...

Posted by: LizLem at December 16, 2014 12:59 PM (yRwC8)

306

even high school girls prolly didn't fall for that

Posted by: ThunderB at December 16, 2014 12:59 PM (zOTsN)

307 Huh. Just, huh. Why is 72 the magic muzzie number?
Posted by: Brave Sir Robin at December 16, 2014 12:56 PM (5buP

----

Honest answer???

Its divisible by 2,3,4,6,8,9,12,18,24 and 36. Highest number of factors.

Posted by: fixerupper at December 16, 2014 01:00 PM (NaV4z)

308 I won Miss America in 2012 but was disqualified when they found naked pictures of me on the internet.

Posted by: Bandersnatch at December 16, 2014 01:00 PM (JtwS4)

309 $hitPackistan is having a war between the military and their spy agency?

Posted by: Boss Moss at December 16, 2014 01:00 PM (wVBo0)

310
Had a similar thought: we need to push stories like these far and wide, to undermine the credibility of the MSM, which liberals tend to cite in support of their views. Stories like these make it clear how easily duped the MSM are, while others make it equally clear how all-in they are for the leftist agenda.

Posted by: Jay Guevara at December 16, 2014 12:58 PM (oKE6c)

Even if we can't destroy the MFM with such tactics, it'll be one hell of a lot of fun.

Posted by: IllTemperedCur at December 16, 2014 01:00 PM (TIIx5)

311 It's not that the $72M was fake - it was stolen. By Manti Te'o's girlfriend.

Posted by: Keith Arnold at December 16, 2014 01:01 PM (iIzG7)

312 Anybody else get a Michael Eric Dyson vibe from that kids picture. Dude, neck....where is it?

Posted by: RWC - Shopping for Justice! at December 16, 2014 01:01 PM (fWAjv)

313
notice the photo of the group is him with his guys friends, and it mentions him buying lunch etc

no girls

no friends without spending money on them

Posted by: ThunderB at December 16, 2014 01:01 PM (zOTsN)

314 NYT is laying off 100 employees starting today. I wonder why?

Posted by: Carol at December 16, 2014 01:01 PM (sj3Ax)

315 I invented queso.

Posted by: Mohammed Islam at December 16, 2014 01:01 PM (MNq6o)

316 $hitPackistan is having a war between the military and their spy agency?
Posted by: Boss Moss at December 16, 2014 01:00 PM (wVBo0)

Is it possible that they nuke themselves?

BRB

Bunk

Posted by: Sean Bannion at December 16, 2014 01:01 PM (sbV1u)

317 What do necks cost?

Posted by: Boss Moss at December 16, 2014 01:02 PM (wVBo0)

318 LMAO!

"Our fact-checking process was obviously inadequate"

No shit.

Posted by: RWC - Shopping for Justice! at December 16, 2014 01:02 PM (fWAjv)

319 Posted by: Stateless Infidel at December 16, 2014 12:59 PM (AC0lD)

Hands Up, Never Mind.

Posted by: Meremortal at December 16, 2014 01:02 PM (1Y+hH)

320 297 -

**Taps foot; checks watch; waits for link to pics; does NOT mind if this is a slight exaggeration.**

Posted by: BurtTC at December 16, 2014 01:02 PM (TOk1P)

321
I am a moronette who just landed a gig as Playmate of the Year, hosting the next Oscars, and as Kate Upton's body double.

Sure. Don't laugh!

Posted by: cheri at December 16, 2014 12:58 PM (oiNtH)

You know the rule.....

Posted by: IllTemperedCur at December 16, 2014 01:02 PM (TIIx5)

322 as Kate Upton's body double.
--------------------------------------

Kate Upton is already Kate Upton's body double.

Posted by: Mega at December 16, 2014 01:02 PM (hHFOx)

323 Yeah, we need more unrest in Pakistan. Like Arabs with nucs aren't already a growing concern......
Posted by: 1bulwetweft - food and ammo, folks. Food and ammo. at December 16, 2014 12:59 PM (5Un6g)
************
Technically the Pakis are Asian.

Posted by: Truck Monkey, Aiming His Torpedo at December 16, 2014 01:02 PM (32Ze2)

324 297

I am a moronette who just landed a gig as Playmate of the Year, hosting the next Oscars, and as Kate Upton's body double. Sure. Don't laugh! Posted by: cheri at December 16, 2014 12:58 PM (oiNtH)

We They aren't laughing, they're fapping. True or not, if you're not careful, you could unleash a moron fapping extravaganzsa ("fappaganza"?).

Posted by: 1bulwetweft - food and ammo, folks. Food and ammo. at December 16, 2014 01:02 PM (H8u6z)

325 what exactly was their fact checking process? just asking the kid?

Posted by: ThunderB at December 16, 2014 01:03 PM (zOTsN)

326 Even if we can't destroy the MFM with such tactics, it'll be one hell of a lot of fun.
Posted by: IllTemperedCur at December 16, 2014 01:00 PM (TIIx5)

Exactly. Ridicule is a potent weapon, and any tactic that your people enjoy is a good one.

Alinsky, you ~~magnificent~~ bastard, we read your book!

Posted by: Jay Guevara at December 16, 2014 01:03 PM (oKE6c)

327 I invented queso.
Posted by: Mohammed Islam at December 16, 2014 01:01 PM (MNq6o)

I invented the question mark

Posted by: Dr. Evil's Father at December 16, 2014 01:03 PM (sbV1u)

328 You all do know they jammed this story...urh I mean fairy tail-- thru because of his muslim name. I mean if his name was Shlomo Jew Boy, someone would have asked questions

Posted by: Nevergiveup at December 16, 2014 01:03 PM (Zmw74)

329 Just, huh. Why is 72 the magic muzzie number?
------------------------

Because 7 and 2 are prime numbers, and their sum is 9.

9 is magic because any arrangement of the digits 1,2,3,4,5,6,7,8,9 will produce a number that can be divided by 9. For instance: 381794256 is divisible by 9.

Moreover, the greatest common divisor of *all* of those sequences is..., 9.

Or..., it may just be a number that Mohammad dreamed up after eating some bad goat.

Posted by: Sheldon Cooper at December 16, 2014 01:03 PM (F2IAQ)

330 325 what exactly was their fact checking process? just asking the kid?
Posted by: ThunderB at December 16, 2014 01:03 PM (zOTsN)

Making him pinky-swear.

Posted by: Gullible Reportette at December 16, 2014 01:03 PM (oKE6c)

331 what exactly was their fact checking process? just asking the kid?

I'm not sure, but I think it had layers.

Posted by: BackwardsBoy, Curmudgeon Extraordinaire at December 16, 2014 01:03 PM (0HooB)

332 Posted by: Jay Guevara at December 16, 2014 12:58 PM (oKE6c)

But how would we know it was working?

Posted by: Mega at December 16, 2014 01:03 PM (hHFOx)

333 my father is the inventor of Toaster Strudel

Posted by: ThunderB at December 16, 2014 01:04 PM (zOTsN)

334 319
Posted by: Stateless Infidel at December 16, 2014 12:59 PM (AC0lD)

Hands Up, Never Mind.

Posted by: Meremortal at December 16, 2014 01:02 PM (1Y+hH)

No problem. Maybe I've gazed into the abyss too long but for me, this is my heartwarming feel-good story of the day.

Posted by: Stateless Infidel at December 16, 2014 01:04 PM (AC0lD)

335 >>> You know also turned out to be a total figment of the media's imagination??

I guess the old saying "if it's too good to be true it probably is" is not being taught to people anymore? So much wisdom squandered.

Of course, half of the mother goose stories and fairy tales we grew up on are quite conservative (ants and grasshopper, little red hen, etc), and obviously those lessons didn't sink in either...

Posted by: LizLem at December 16, 2014 01:04 PM (yRwC8)

336 It is not as if they have a reputation to protect.

Posted by: Boss Moss at December 16, 2014 01:04 PM (wVBo0)

337 Journalism and NY where dreams are made...

up.

Posted by: willow at December 16, 2014 01:04 PM (nqBYe)

338 297
I am a moronette who just landed a gig as Playmate of the Year, hosting the next Oscars, and as Kate Upton's body double.

Posted by: cheri at December 16, 2014 12:58 PM (oiNtH)

I won't ask for pics. I'll just take your word for it.

Posted by: rickl at December 16, 2014 01:04 PM (zoehZ)

339 I had a Lamborghini in High School, but don't ya know.... It was always in the shop. I rarely got to show off my mansion by the river either because of the renovations that were always being done.

Posted by: Truck Monkey, Aiming His Torpedo at December 16, 2014 01:04 PM (32Ze2)

340 I was told there would be no math

Posted by: ThunderB at December 16, 2014 01:04 PM (zOTsN)

341 I invented the question mark
Posted by: Dr. Evil's Father
---------------

We invented Zero.

Posted by: The Media at December 16, 2014 01:04 PM (F2IAQ)

342 They did run this through their fact-checking process. Their fact-checker responded with "reply hazy try again."

Posted by: Keith Arnold at December 16, 2014 01:04 PM (iIzG7)

343
$hitPackistan is having a war between the military and their spy agency?

Posted by: Boss Moss at December 16, 2014 01:00 PM (wVBo0)

Considering that the Pakis have had their murderously dirty little hands in just about every conflict in the world for the past 60 years and only have a talent for destruction? Time to get the popcorn.

Posted by: IllTemperedCur at December 16, 2014 01:05 PM (TIIx5)

344 Or..., it may just be a number that Mohammad dreamed up after eating some bad goat.
Posted by: Sheldon Cooper at December 16, 2014 01:03 PM (F2IAQ)

Eating?

LOL. No infidel, I did not eat the goat.

I will tell you what I did with the goat. But first...I keeel you!

Posted by: Mohammad at December 16, 2014 01:05 PM (d4ZzM)

345 Jay Culter tossed 12 super bowl TD passes!!

Posted by: Navpopojoe at December 16, 2014 01:05 PM (MaUQj)

346 I invented the escape key.

Posted by: Bob Hussein Bemer at December 16, 2014 01:05 PM (oKE6c)

347 so did the journalist also help write Jack and the Greenie -stock?

Posted by: willow at December 16, 2014 01:05 PM (nqBYe)

348 Posted by: willow at December 16, 2014 01:04 PM (nqBYe)

Threadwinner.

Posted by: BackwardsBoy, Curmudgeon Extraordinaire at December 16, 2014 01:05 PM (0HooB)

349 We invented Zero.

Posted by: The Media at December 16, 2014 01:04 PM (F2IAQ)

Nicely done.

Posted by: Mega at December 16, 2014 01:06 PM (hHFOx)

350 Of course, half of the mother goose stories and fairy tales we grew up on are quite conservative (ants and grasshopper, little red hen, etc), and obviously those lessons didn't sink in either...
Posted by: LizLem
-----------------

They don't read those anymore..., especially not The Little Red Hen.

Posted by: The Media at December 16, 2014 01:06 PM (F2IAQ)

351 Comment #1 wins.

Posted by: Corona at December 16, 2014 01:06 PM (fh2Y7)

352 325 what exactly was their fact checking process? just asking the kid?

Posted by: ThunderB at December 16, 2014 01:03 PM (zOTsN

Magic 8 Ball

Ouija Board

Posted by: RWC - Shopping for Justice! at December 16, 2014 01:06 PM (fWAjv)

353 I invented post-it notes.

Posted by: blaster at December 16, 2014 01:06 PM (Rx8ML)

354 "Islam produced a document that appeared to be a Chase bank statement attesting to an eight-figure bank account"

What's this "Photoshop" thing I keep hearing about?

Posted by: New York magazine fact checker at December 16, 2014 01:07 PM (MNq6o)

355 OK, I will play anyone in Tecmo Bowl. Only rules are you can't be the Raiders or the Broncos.

Posted by: John Elway at December 16, 2014 01:07 PM (XpAxm)

356 Shlomo Jew Boy , some body would ask questions? @328

Are you kidding me that happens every day in Beverly Hills and Miami, and The Diamond District of New Yawk

Posted by: Desmond Dekker at December 16, 2014 01:07 PM (/WmRg)

357
BTW, this story made the German tabloid Bild.

I didn't believe it there either.

Posted by: Bandersnatch at December 16, 2014 01:07 PM (JtwS4)

358 blaster I'm the Mary!

Posted by: ThunderB at December 16, 2014 01:07 PM (zOTsN)

359

Fact check?

Well, they aren't totally stupid and realize from past experience that they don't have to be anywhere near the truth. The people who run these comapnies need revenue, you don't get that with stories of bunnies. You get that by lying.

We must face that our entire media system is transforming into the worst sort of tabloids, always going for revenue generation. They may always have, but times will be desperate and pressure greater and greater.

Wait until the current generation steeped and marinated in reletivism gets their foothold.

Posted by: Rev. Dr. E Buzz Miller at December 16, 2014 01:07 PM (jzdfJ)

360 Quick fact...

Did you know, that each of the 72 virgins is re-virginized each and every time after the act when the 'martyr' is in Paradise.

And, being faithful to the Prophet Mohammad, the number one phrase uttered in Paradise when a newly arrived Martyr first sees the bevy of exquisite 72 virgins is "Do you have any that are younger?"

True facts...

Posted by: Stateless Infidel at December 16, 2014 01:08 PM (AC0lD)

361 Wait until the current generation steeped and marinated in reletivism gets their foothold.

Posted by: Rev. Dr. E Buzz Miller at December 16, 2014 01:07 PM (jzdfJ)
**********
^^THIS^^
Truth as a movable target will not serve us well.

Posted by: Truck Monkey, Aiming His Torpedo at December 16, 2014 01:08 PM (32Ze2)

362 "Islam produced a document that appeared to be a Chase bank statement attesting to an eight-figure bank account"

What's this "Photoshop" thing I keep hearing about?
Posted by: New York magazine fact checker at December 16, 2014 01:07 PM (MNq6o)

Bank statements on accounts like that come on 100 lb vellum paper, usually sent registered mail, by your personal banker.

But yeah, I'm totally sure they asked him those questions like, "Can we talk to your banker?"

Totally.

Posted by: Sean Bannion at December 16, 2014 01:08 PM (sbV1u)

363 What's this "Photoshop" thing I keep hearing about?
Posted by: New York magazine fact checker at December 16, 2014 01:07 PM (MNq6o)

----

Its where we buy our stock pictures.... at the photo shop.

Trust Me.

Posted by: New York Magazine Reporter at December 16, 2014 01:08 PM (NaV4z)

364 No problem. Maybe I've gazed into the abyss too long but for me, this is my heartwarming feel-good story of the day.
Posted by: Stateless Infidel at December 16, 2014 01:04 PM (AC0lD)

Yeah, I think you have a bit of a problem there. But to each his own.

Posted by: Meremortal at December 16, 2014 01:09 PM (1Y+hH)

365 They don't read those anymore..., especially not The Little Red Hen.

Or Chicken Little.

Or The Boy Who Cried "Wolf."

Lots of good stories that help 'splain human nature, and kids don't know them. Sad, it is.

Posted by: BackwardsBoy, Curmudgeon Extraordinaire at December 16, 2014 01:09 PM (0HooB)

366 The Weeble of Wall Street.

Posted by: NCKate at December 16, 2014 01:09 PM (FPQut)

367 I invented the beard made of fat. *strokes his alleged "chin" area*

Posted by: Mohammed Islam at December 16, 2014 01:09 PM (MNq6o)

368 I cant believe there has been no Charlie Gibson sock

Posted by: ThunderB at December 16, 2014 01:09 PM (zOTsN)

369 I didn't buy this story when I read it either. It was on Bing. You would have to already have millions to make millions.

Posted by: Boss Moss at December 16, 2014 01:09 PM (wVBo0)

370 I'm finally going to come out with the truth.

I am a Princess -Really!
from fkinstan.
If you help me recover my Fathers King Dumb I will share all i have with you!

(No small print here)

Posted by: willow at December 16, 2014 01:10 PM (nqBYe)

371 They were goofing on this dumb bint the whole time. Could you imagine their delight to see this actually appear in the IBD? They must have wet themselves with laughter.

Posted by: Truck Monkey, Aiming His Torpedo at December 16, 2014 01:10 PM (32Ze2)

372 They don't read those anymore..., especially not The Little Red Hen.

Or Chicken Little.

Or The Boy Who Cried "Wolf."

Lots of good stories that help 'splain human nature, and kids don't know them. Sad, it is.
Posted by: BackwardsBoy, Curmudgeon Extraordinaire at December 16, 2014 01:09 PM (0HooB)

----

The "Emperor Has No Clothes" is so appropo ......

Posted by: fixerupper at December 16, 2014 01:10 PM (NaV4z)

373 I invented the beard made of fat. *strokes his alleged "chin" area*
Posted by: Mohammed
-------

* chortles *

Posted by: Mike Hammer, etc., etc. at December 16, 2014 01:11 PM (F2IAQ)

374 I invented the face FUPA

Posted by: M.Islam at December 16, 2014 01:11 PM (zOTsN)

375 One thing for sure, that $72,000,000 bank balance, he didn't build that.

Posted by: The Great White Snark at December 16, 2014 01:11 PM (XUKZU)

376 Okay, okay......I'm Spartacus. The stunt double Spartacus. For the TV series.

For the sex series.

And yes, I'm gladiator.

Posted by: Blue Hen at December 16, 2014 01:12 PM (Spluw)

377 Dah fuq???

"Islamic State Firing Bombs Packed With Hundreds of Live Scorpions Into Iraqi Towns"

Posted by: RWC - Shopping for Justice! at December 16, 2014 01:12 PM (fWAjv)

378 tis is why it is forbidden to draw Mohammad

Posted by: ThunderB at December 16, 2014 01:12 PM (zOTsN)

379 I invented tits. *licks own nipple*

Posted by: Mohammed Islam at December 16, 2014 01:12 PM (MNq6o)

380 OT: Freedom Fighters in Pakistan kill over 100 school children in fight for freedom, or something. Posted by: Meremortal at December 16, 2014 12:42 PM (1Y+hH)

Yeah, saw this. The story I read said the muzzie sadists also burnt their teacher alive in front of them. If true, and it CERTAINLY is within their wheelhouse, then hell is too good for these assholes. But I'd love the chance to send as many there as I could. Fcuking savages.

-
Hillary! wants to empathize with them and Feinkenstein wants to make sure we don't muss their hair.

Posted by: The Great White Snark at December 16, 2014 01:12 PM (XUKZU)

381 Islam? Never heard of it/him

Posted by: Charlie Gibson at December 16, 2014 01:12 PM (32Ze2)

382 You would have to already have millions to make millions.
Posted by: Boss
---------------

* checks wallet *
* is seized by a feeling of despair *

Posted by: Mike Hammer, etc., etc. at December 16, 2014 01:13 PM (F2IAQ)

383 377 That's a violation of the good neighbor policy.

Posted by: Boss Moss at December 16, 2014 01:13 PM (wVBo0)

384 I think little Mohammed has a bright future in the financial business. Especially the three-card-monte branch down on Nassau Street...

Posted by: richard mcenroe at December 16, 2014 01:13 PM (XO6WW)

385 @358 I love movies that look back at the 80s.

And Mira Sorvino was very yummy.

Posted by: blaster at December 16, 2014 01:13 PM (Rx8ML)

386 The "Emperor Has No Clothes" is so appropo ......

Posted by: fixerupper at December 16, 2014 01:10 PM (NaV4z)

Not to mention "Jack and the Beanstalk," for our economic overlords.

Posted by: Jay Guevara at December 16, 2014 01:14 PM (oKE6c)

387 Barky's 'JV Team' comment deemed lie of the year.

Shatter that bastards ego.

Posted by: RWC - Shopping for Justice! at December 16, 2014 01:14 PM (fWAjv)

388 would the explosion to propel the rocket kill the scorpions? not tothe idiot that had to collect and load them all?

Posted by: ThunderB at December 16, 2014 01:14 PM (zOTsN)

389 New York Mag's email contact line needs to be flooded with some good claims.

My CO2 eating, manna shitting nano-drone is heading their way.

I think they might go for it.

Posted by: Meremortal at December 16, 2014 01:14 PM (1Y+hH)

390 I like the moxie on this Mohammed guy

Posted by: Madoff at December 16, 2014 01:14 PM (Zmw74)

391 101 the funny thing about the hoax is that it would have BLOWN UP if the reporter had simply asked for a brokerage statement.

The simplest, most basic attempt at a fact check.
Posted by: Arthur at December 16, 2014 12:28 PM (h53OH)

Or called his Mom.

Posted by: Jean at December 16, 2014 01:14 PM (TETYm)

392 I think little Mohammed has a bright future in the financial business. Especially the three-card-monte branch down on Nassau Street...
Posted by: richard mcenroe

You may want to shy away from the free lance cigarette trade.

Posted by: zombie eric Garner at December 16, 2014 01:14 PM (Spluw)

393 And Mira Sorvino was very yummy.
Posted by: blaster at December 16, 2014 01:13 PM (Rx8ML)
*********
She is not CLOSE to being as hot as MY wife....... MORGAN FAIRCHILD...... Yeah....

Posted by: Tommy Flanagan at December 16, 2014 01:15 PM (32Ze2)

394 Wouldn't the bomb blast kill the scorpions?

Posted by: Boss Moss at December 16, 2014 01:15 PM (wVBo0)

395 You would have to already have millions to make millions.

Posted by: Boss

---------------

* checks wallet *

* is seized by a feeling of despair *

Posted by: Mike Hammer, etc., etc.

HA! Sucker! *continues scratching lottery scratch-offs with a nickel*

Posted by: Dang at December 16, 2014 01:15 PM (MNq6o)

396 you are talking to a high school zillionaire to writea feel good story and you don't talk to his proud parents? really?

Posted by: ThunderB at December 16, 2014 01:15 PM (zOTsN)

397 would the explosion to propel the rocket kill the scorpions? not tothe idiot that had to collect and load them all?
Posted by: ThunderB

Well, the exoskeletons may be sufficient.

Posted by: sick teenager who put catepilars into the Estes rocket..and then had to clean it out at December 16, 2014 01:16 PM (Spluw)

398 The guys name was Mohammed Islam which sounds like a bad stereotype but 1) you can't question him he's Muslim thus a victim class and 2) you can't question him he might cut off your head.

Posted by: blaster at December 16, 2014 01:16 PM (Rx8ML)

399 Wouldn't the bomb blast kill the scorpions?
Posted by: Boss Moss at December 16, 2014 01:15 PM (wVBo0)

**blink**
**blink**

Oh. Achemed meant the band.

Nevermind.

Posted by: ISIS Weapons Development Department at December 16, 2014 01:17 PM (NaV4z)

400 388 would the explosion to propel the rocket kill the scorpions? not tothe idiot that had to collect and load them all?

Posted by: ThunderB at December 16, 2014 01:14 PM (zOTsN)

No. They said they are very robust and can survive being launched miles. And it doesn't explode but rather just breaks open.

Posted by: RWC - Shopping for Justice! at December 16, 2014 01:17 PM (fWAjv)

401 Wouldn't the bomb blast kill the scorpions?
Posted by: Boss Moss at December 16, 2014 01:15 PM (wVBo0)
***************
Shhhhhhhhhhhhhh....... More mohammedans will die stuffing those critters into shells that those downrange. There is a reason 6 million Jews can stymie the whole lot of these islamics.

Posted by: Truck Monkey, Aiming His Torpedo at December 16, 2014 01:17 PM (32Ze2)

402 Help Wanted. Scorpion Gatherer.

Posted by: Boss Moss at December 16, 2014 01:17 PM (wVBo0)

403 396 you are talking to a high school zillionaire to writea feel good story and you don't talk to his proud parents? really?
Posted by: ThunderB at December 16, 2014 01:15 PM (zOTsN)

Or any of his classmates or teachers? Wouldn't the readership be interested in their reaction?

Posted by: Jay Guevara at December 16, 2014 01:17 PM (oKE6c)

404 Nood. Jus' sayin'.

Posted by: Keith Arnold at December 16, 2014 01:17 PM (iIzG7)

405 When do we get to the story of the Billy goats butting the troll off of the bridge?

Posted by: B. G. Gruff at December 16, 2014 01:18 PM (F2IAQ)

406 I invented Whiteout. Srsly.

Posted by: Mike Nesmith's mom at December 16, 2014 01:18 PM (5buP8)

407 Scorpion story is at WZ BTW.

Posted by: RWC - Shopping for Justice! at December 16, 2014 01:18 PM (fWAjv)

408
you are talking to a high school zillionaire to writea feel good story and you don't talk to his proud parents? really?

Posted by: ThunderB at December 16, 2014 01:15 PM (zOTsN)

I imagine that there are journalistic ethical rules against doing feature stories on minors without the consent or notification of their parents.

Of course, those rules are actually more.....guidelines than rules.

Posted by: IllTemperedCur at December 16, 2014 01:18 PM (TIIx5)

409 396 you are talking to a high school zillionaire to writea feel good story and you don't talk to his proud parents? really?
Posted by: ThunderB at December 16, 2014 01:15 PM (zOTsN)

Of course, if you're gullible enough to believe seven guys romped around in the dark with their rampant todgers out on a floor covered with broken glass, you're gullible enough to believe pretty much anything.

Posted by: Jay Guevara at December 16, 2014 01:19 PM (oKE6c)

410 I won't ask for pics. I'll just take your word for it.Posted by: rickl Whew! Thanks

Posted by: cheri at December 16, 2014 01:19 PM (oiNtH)

411 Of course, those rules are actually more.....guidelines than rules.

Posted by: IllTemperedCur at December 16, 2014 01:18 PM (TIIx5)

Kinda like the Constitution, then? A series of suggestions, not absolutes?

Posted by: Jay Guevara at December 16, 2014 01:20 PM (oKE6c)

412 No. They said they are very robust and can survive being launched miles. And it doesn't explode but rather just breaks open.
Posted by: RWC - Shopping for Justice! at December 16, 2014 01:17 PM (fWAjv)

And so the people who can't figure out how to take a shit by sitting down (talk to anyone who's been to Iraq) are going to figure out how to make a scorpion cluster munition?

Mmmmm hmmmmm. OK.

Posted by: Sean Bannion at December 16, 2014 01:20 PM (d4ZzM)

413 Maybe the Jeb Bush story is a hoax too.

Posted by: CJ at December 16, 2014 01:22 PM (9KqcB)

414 Wouldn't the bomb blast kill the scorpions?
-
And do they have lasers on their heads?

Posted by: The Great White Snark at December 16, 2014 01:22 PM (XUKZU)

415 How mush with the simulated audit by the IRS cost?

Posted by: Jean at December 16, 2014 01:22 PM (TETYm)

416 They invented the number, "bazillion" because of me. *stuffs three Nutty Bars into his mouth, mumbles something unintelligible*

Posted by: Mohammed Islam at December 16, 2014 01:23 PM (MNq6o)

417 And so the people who can't figure out how to take a shit by sitting down (talk to anyone who's been to Iraq) are going to figure out how to make a scorpion cluster munition?

Mmmmm hmmmmm. OK.
Posted by: Sean Bannion at December 16, 2014 01:20 PM

Chercher la vache....

Posted by: Some French Dude at December 16, 2014 01:33 PM (knoK7)

418 Fuck. A good Monty Python reference Willowed...

Posted by: Some French Dude at December 16, 2014 01:35 PM (knoK7)

419 I knew better than to trust a guy name Mohammed Islam claiming he knew the way to get 72 of anything...

Posted by: Someone Had to Say It at December 16, 2014 01:48 PM (Z2OIC)

420 Why are you calling it Bed-Stuy? It's Stuyvesant High School and it's the school all the city kids that couldn't get into Hunter College High School went to. The 2nd best academic high school in the city that isn't private.

Posted by: NJRob at December 16, 2014 01:59 PM (vQ9nH)

421 Sounds like some kids read "JR" by William Gaddis and appropriated its story line to sucker in the media. Or maybe his real name is Barry Minkow.

Posted by: keninnorcal at December 16, 2014 05:46 PM (On0/h)

422 Escort girls http://regmodels.ru

Posted by: Regmodels.ru at December 16, 2014 06:33 PM (eIfCM)

423 Does anyone remember that the Billionaire Boys Club back in the 1980s committed murder over just this kind of deception? Some young, brash men formed the BBC and turned over money to an investment whiz who produced massive returns for them, as documented by computer trading reports. When they found out that the reports came out of the brokerage firm's SIMULATION package, meaning they didn't have any of the money they'd already spent, they kidnapped and tortured (and ultimately murdered) their investment guru in an attempt to get at least their capital back.

Posted by: stuiec at December 17, 2014 03:58 PM (eetvJ)

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