The LLama Butchers

February 08, 2008

Mmmmmmm, Peggy

Quote of the day, Hillary Division:

One part of the Clinton mystique maintains: Deep down journalists think she's a political Rasputin who will not be dispatched. Prince Yusupov served him cupcakes laced with cyanide, emptied a revolver, clubbed him, tied him up and threw him in a frozen river. When he floated to the surface they found he'd tried to claw his way from under the ice. That is how reporters see Hillary.

"She does grace the way George W. Bush does nuance" was a close runner-up.

Posted by: Steve-O at 09:09 AM | Comments (11) | Add Comment | Trackbacks (Suck)

February 07, 2008

Conservative: Noun Or Adjective?

Huh? OK, Gary's been hitting the cooking sherry again.

I've been thinking about this the last week trying to figure out how John McCain got the lion's share of votes and delegates to date because I used to really believe that - when the rubber met the road - the level (or lack thereof) support for McCain could not possibly result in his getting the nomination. Clearly, that instinct was based on a fallacy.

(continued below the fold)

Posted by: Gary at 08:37 PM | Comments (24) | Add Comment | Trackbacks (Suck)

Huck Off!

Mike Huckabee supporters now reaching out to Romney voters "Give Mike another look".

Hey, I know I've pledged not to bad-mouth any Republican candidates but Huckabee doesn't have a snowball's chance in hell anyway. It ain't happenin'. On behalf of many a disappointed GOP voter, allow me to extend a sincere "thanks for nothing". Oh, and no thanks.

A post over at Race42008.com says it all.

Posted by: Gary at 07:00 PM | Comments (15) | Add Comment | Trackbacks (Suck)

Pucker Up, Baybee!

ProfessorFrink.gif

The Science of Kissing, or Why Researchers Never Get To First Base:

Since kissing evolved, the act seems to have become addictive. Human lips enjoy the slimmest layer of skin on the human body, and the lips are among the most densely populated with sensory neurons of any body region. When we kiss, these neurons, along with those in the tongue and mouth, rocket messages to the brain and body, setting off delightful sensations, intense emotions and physical reactions.

Of the 12 or 13 cranial nerves that affect cerebral function, five are at work when we kiss, shuttling messages from our lips, tongue, cheeks and nose to a brain that snatches information about the temperature, taste, smell and movements of the entire affair. Some of that information arrives in the somatosensory cortex, a swath of tissue on the surface of the brain that represents tactile information in a map of the body. In that map, the lips loom large because the size of each represented body region is proportional to the density of its nerve endings.

"Uh, when we kiss my somatosensory cortex brain-dump! system overload! Whooneeeeguhh! Wowwweee!!!! can't help noticing the size of your lips as represented in a figurative tactile map of your body Oooooboy! goodbye holodeck come to papa neeeerrgggh!!!"

I jest. It's actually an interesting article. But there is a certain amount of the Duh Factor. To wit:

According to new findings, kissing may play a crucial role in the progression of a partnership but one that differs between men and women. In a study published in September 2007 Gallup and his colleagues surveyed 1,041 college undergraduates of both sexes about kissing. For most of the men, a deep kiss was largely a way of advancing to the next level sexually. But women were generally looking to take the relationship to the next stage emotionally, assessing not simply whether the other person would make a first- rate source of DNA but also whether he would be a good long-term partner.

As James Taranto is wont to say, what would we do without findings. Hell, I was an English major and even I knew that.

Via Arts & Letters Daily.

Posted by: Robert at 05:21 PM | Comments (11) | Add Comment | Trackbacks (Suck)

Ask The Llamas

We're No. 4 out of just shy of 74,000 google hits for "Would you go out to lunch with Kevin Costner?"

Me? I'd grab a beer with Crash Davis maybe, but Costner his own self? Naaaah.

Posted by: Robert at 03:50 PM | Comments (14) | Add Comment | Trackbacks (Suck)

Jo Harding Was Right!

Dusty.jpg
"Now there's some good news. At least it flies!"

A bright spot out of the recent bout of nasty weather:

The Super Tuesday tornadoes killed at least 48 people, including four in this town. But a year-old siren system in the rural Arkansas county may have saved lives. Sirens blared 20 minutes before the tornado hit, enough time for Mr. Austin and his family to find shelter in his brother's basement.

With better weather monitoring and the wider use of sirens and other warning systems, the number of tornado deaths per million Americans has been decreasing in the United States for decades. Yet the tornadoes that swept the mid-South served as a reminder, experts say, that better public education and new technology, such as text-messaging on cellphones, could augment traditional warning systems.

I smell sequel here: Twister 2: D.O.R.O.T.H.Y.'s Revenge. In this one, that whacky pair of squabbling storm jocks Jo & Bill must fight their way into the sooper-sekret NOAA lab buried under Mt. Rushmore where all the data from the first successful encounter of D.O.R.O.T.H.Y with the killer F-5 is held by top men. (Who? Top. Men.) However, little do our heroes and their rag-tag band of meteorological BoHos know that the Guv'mint has actually already figured out a way not only to breed tornados, but to steer them. Further unbeknownst to the good guys, the Guv'mint has managed to pull the remains of Dr. Jonas "Nightcrawler" Miller from the Oklahoma field where he was splattered by the same F-5 and rebuild him as an all-but-indestructable killer cyborg. And NOAA knows they're coming.........

Posted by: Robert at 01:57 PM | Comments (13) | Add Comment | Trackbacks (Suck)

I picked a bad year to give up meth and Red Bull for Lent

Romney's out.

MCCAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAIN!

I really need to learn how to dub that clip so Kirk is yelling that. Maybe put a big neon EIB behind him, too.


Posted by: Steve-O at 01:05 PM | Comments (14) | Add Comment | Trackbacks (Suck)

The Archbishop Surrenders the Citadel

I've seen this floating about these here internets today: Rowan Williams welcomes pre-emptively surrenders to Sharia Law in Britainistan the U.K.:

The Archbishop of Canterbury says the adoption of certain aspects of Sharia law in the UK "seems unavoidable".

Dr Rowan Williams told Radio 4's World at One that the UK has to "face up to the fact" that some of its citizens do not relate to the British legal system.

Dr Williams argues that adopting parts of Islamic Sharia law would help maintain social cohesion.

For example, Muslims could choose to have marital disputes or financial matters dealt with in a Sharia court.

He says Muslims should not have to choose between "the stark alternatives of cultural loyalty or state loyalty".

I suppose that by "maintain social cohesion," the Archbish is trying to politely say, "keep Johnny D'himmi from blowing up St. Paul's."

Let me be absolutely brutal about this: It is a simple fact of history that a society which no longer believes in itself dies. Sometimes it simply withers away. Usually, it is devoured by another society that very much does believe it itself. Hint: there's no isolated withering going on here.

As much as I admire much of what Britain has stood for over her history, when I read of this kind of tripe coming out of the mouths of her leaders (and Church politics aside, the Arch-Freakin'-Bishop of Canterbury is supposed to be one of the mainstays of that society), I'm not really sure any more that she isn't about to get exactly what she deserves.

Once the Caliphate is established, we'll see just how much the new state will be willing to grant autonomy to those not willing to go along with its cultural mandates as well. My guess? It'll bring a whole new meaning to the policy of "hands off".

Yips! (for first sighting) to TitusOneNine.

WELL AT LEAST THE ARCHBISHOP DOESN'T THINK HE'S A COWGIRL YIPS from Steve-O:

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Giddyup!
I guess papal infallibility doesn't extend to fashion choices, either.

And yes, I'm going to pshop that picture together with Uma Thurman next time. The time after that? It's with Rosie. Them's the stakes.

Weapons-Free Yips! back from Robbo: Well, I thought I'd made it clear that I was commenting on the collapse of Brit culchah, not stirring up the Ecclesiastic Authority debate again. However, as Steve-O has run up the black flag, you may fire at will.

YEAH, I WENT THERE YIPS from Steve-O: Consider it nailed to the mast.

Mr. Chekov, set phasers on "mirth"

Puzzled Yips! Back from Robbo: No, folks, I dunno where he's going with that one either. And ironically, if you believe Mark Steyn's data on the shifting demographics and declining native populations across Europe, this clip becomes funny in a way perhaps not intended by its writers.

BTW, and this has nothing to do with religious opinion, but I've never understood why people fall all over themselves about this clip. The idea is funny for about the first five seconds, but then the Team proceeds to drive it into the ground with a sledgehammer, a flaw notable in most of the humour in this movie.

Posted by: Robert at 12:44 PM | Comments (25) | Add Comment | Trackbacks (Suck)

There I Go Again...

Via our Maximum Leader I came across this little prezdents quiz. If I've done it before, I don't remember. Perhaps that's why I scored the way I did:

TheGipper.jpg

Which Great US President Are You Most Like?

You scored as a Ronald Reagan
40th President, in office from 1981-1989 Born: 1911 Died: 2004

Ronald Reagan..........76%
Thomas Jefferson.......71%
George Washington....69%
Abraham Lincoln........57%
Dwight Eisenhower.... 55%
Franklin Roosevelt..... 53%
Theodore Roosevelt...50%
Harry Truman............48%
Woodrow Wilson........38%
John Kennedy........... 33%
Lyndon Johnson........ 31%

Frankly, I'm a bit surprised TJ slipped into second place. Probably because of my belief in the necessity of beating the crap out of all pirates. Otherwise, I pretty much loathe the man.

Posted by: Robert at 09:28 AM | Comments (16) | Add Comment | Trackbacks (Suck)

February 06, 2008

Cashmere Mafia-trashy and every bit as addictive as Melrose Place

Tonight's plot summary: Mia gets frisky with Zoe's "manny"; Zoe thinks about having a fling with her "work husband" but winds up jumping her real husband on their tenth anniversary; Juliette tries to retain the best lawyer in town but discovers her cheating husband beat her to it; and the sexually confused chick's girlfriend reveals she is pregnant but our would-be lesbian is proving herself to be an equal opportunity skank. Meanwhile, the teasers for next week's episode reveal that the lesbian girlfriend's ex is none other than Audrey, Jack Bauer's girlfriend! So, the CHICOMs did not grease her after all . . .

Posted by: LMC at 11:06 PM | Comments (15) | Add Comment | Trackbacks (Suck)

Prediction #3: This will become the title of a book on the role of the youth vote and technology in election 2008

Obama Girl Didn't Vote.

Heart. Ache.

Posted by: Steve-O at 06:11 PM | Comments (11) | Add Comment | Trackbacks (Suck)

Prediction 2: Have you actually looked at the calendar after Super Tuesday?

Holy smokes, talk about a diversified table. Here in Virginia, the media schedulers are already in full mojo mode with the Virginia primary next week, but looking ahead:

this weekend: Washington, Louisiana, and Kansas;
next Tuesday: Virginia and Maryland
two Tuesdays: Wisconisn
March 4: Texas & Ohio
March 11: Mississippi

and then, NOTHING FOR FIVE WEEKS

April 22: Pennsylvania.

and then NOTHING FOR TWO WEEKS

until NC and Indiana go in mid-May.

It looks like Maverick is in need of @400 delegates to wrap it up, which isn't really mathematically possible until Wisconsin in two weeks. The key for the eventual nominee is to wrap it up before Mississippi on the eleventh, because that hiatus is going to be the real Thunderdome of the campaign. The Donks are going to be eating each other alive, when a media machine fueled to high octane by a compressed schedule suddenly hits a no real news zone. Expect bimbo erruptions on the HRC side, as well as the long-awaited "Messiah Stumbles" reaction against Obama. The trick for the Republicans is to enter the dead zone with a clear nominee, and let the shredding occur on the other side, as the Donks march to the inevitable "Selected, Not Elected" nominee.

Posted by: Steve-O at 04:19 PM | Comments (14) | Add Comment | Trackbacks (Suck)

Gratuitous Ash Wednesday Poetry Posting

I like this:

TO KEEP A TRUE LENT.
by Robert Herrick

IS this a fast, to keep
The larder lean ?
And clean
From fat of veals and sheep ?

Is it to quit the dish
Of flesh, yet still
To fill
The platter high with fish ?

Is it to fast an hour,
Or ragg’d to go,
Or show
A downcast look and sour ?

No ; ‘tis a fast to dole
Thy sheaf of wheat,
And meat,
Unto the hungry soul.

It is to fast from strife,
From old debate
And hate ;
To circumcise thy life.

To show a heart grief-rent ;
To starve thy sin,
Not bin ;
And that’s to keep thy Lent.


Posted by: Robert at 02:23 PM | Comments (15) | Add Comment | Trackbacks (Suck)

Prediction 1: Today, from behind the Golden Microphone...

MCCAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAIN!

Yips! from Gary:
EIB lockdown today? Should be interesting.

McCain hasn't reached the brass ring yet but it's in his sights. Had no idea just how well the Huckster would do. I just pray there's no side deal for the VP slot. That would be just...a disaster. McCain may want to consider giving his CPAC speech tomorrow behind chicken wire. And start off with something simple, like a Tammy Wynette song.**

**spot the gratuitous movie reference

YIPS from Steve-O:


McCain 08---We had a band powerful enough to turn goat piss into gasoline.

Posted by: Steve-O at 10:13 AM | Comments (17) | Add Comment | Trackbacks (Suck)

February 05, 2008

Green: It's The New Color of Lent

From one of our regular Llama readers comes the latest in fashionable piety:

London - Two senior Church of England bishops called on Tuesday for Britons to cut back on carbon, rather than the more traditional chocolate and alcohol, for the Christian period of Lent this year.

The Bishop of London, Richard Chartres, and Bishop of Liverpool, James Jones, have teamed up with aid agency Tearfund to invite the public to take part in a "carbon fast" for the next 40 days.

During Lent, which starts on Wednesday and lasts until Easter, Christians are supposed to fast and pray. In the bishops' green drive, those taking part can choose how they reduce their carbon footprint on a daily basis.

"For example, on the first day, people can take out one of their light bulbs and whenever they go to turn that light on, and it doesn't work, they can remember why they are fasting from carbon - to help the poor of the world.

"At the end of the fast they can replace it with an energy-saving light bulb," Jones - who is vice-president of Tearfund - explained.

Other activities include avoiding plastic bags and insulating the house.

The bishops and Tearfund said they had launched carbon fast because of the urgent need to cut emissions and protect poor communities, who are already being affected by climate change and will be the worst hit in the future.

"There's a moral imperative on those of us who emit more than our fair share of carbon to rein in our consumption," Jones said.

Chartres added: "We all have a pivotal role to play in tackling the stark reality of climate change.

"Now is the time for individual and collective action in addressing the unsustainable way in which we are exploiting the earth's resources."

Yadda, yadda. Know what? As far as I'm concerned, there really isn't anything wrong with seeking to conserve resources and being better about not wasting them (although to me this is simply a matter of common-sense stewardship, not a response to global climate change alarums). But leave that kind of hectoring to the enviro-groups. Bishops are supposed to be concentrating on, well, higher matters. (I wonder does anybody go to Confession with a laundry list of the number of times they've forgotten to turn off a lamp, used plastic bags or failed to separate their paper and glass recycling?)

BTB, as this is as good a place to mention it as any, I may note that after this evening I am laying off both the bottle and coffee until Easter. Since this will be the first time I've done so since I was about twelve, I'm not quite sure what effect it's going to have on me. If my posting gets somewhat...screwy, you'll know why.

Posted by: Robert at 03:33 PM | Comments (16) | Add Comment | Trackbacks (Suck)

Happy Birthday Nigel Tufnel

(AKA Christopher Guest, 5th Baron Haden-Guest) who turns...ahem...60 today.

Nigel Tufnel.jpg

Rock On!

Gratuitous "This Is Spinal Tap" YouTube Posting:

Posted by: Gary at 11:55 AM | Comments (14) | Add Comment | Trackbacks (Suck)

Polling Nightmare

Swell. I have to take my town to the woodshed for the way they set up my polling place today.

It was at my oldest son's school (which is in session today) so I figured I'd drive him instead of having him take the bus since I was headed over there anyway. Smart, right?

Wrong. For some inexplicable reason they moved the student drop off from the front of the school to the back, where all the buses go. The result was I ended up sitting in a line of cars for twenty-five minutes while I waited for all the buses to unload their cargo.

Figuring I was late for work anyway, I stopped for a CNN/ABC/CBS/WSJ, etc. exit poll (the first one I've ever done). In hindsight my answers will be a little confusing as some would seem a little contradictory. I voted for Romney but listed the War on Terror as my number one issue. I chose experience as the qualification most important in my decision yet I also listed as important agreement on the issues.

Turnout was pretty sparse, which probably helps Romney, but I expect McCain to win CT pretty handily. Even my son's teachers (they have two "team teachers" in the sixth grade) are enthusiastic McCain backers, which I found a little strange. One of his assignments this year was to write a letter thanking him for his service to this country. And they have an autographed photo on display in the classroom.

CT seems also to be shaping up as Obama country.

Stay tuned.

Posted by: Gary at 09:27 AM | Comments (17) | Add Comment | Trackbacks (Suck)

Gratuitous Llama Mardi Gras Salute

mobile mardi gras.jpg

Before Gary starts in on Thunderdome Tuesday Posting in earnest, let me here throw out some Fat Tuesday Yips! to the good folks of Mobile, Alabama.

It wasn't until I was down there a couple years ago that I discovered Mobile strenuously insists that it was the site of the original Mardi Gras celebrations in America and that johnny-come-lately Noo Orleens hijacked the whole business and stole Mobile's limelight. The Mobile natives I talked to about this were mighty prickly on the whole subject.

BTW, I should mention that when I visited, I did not actually get there in time for Mardi Gras, but instead found myself on the streets of downtown Mobile early in the morning on Ash Wednesday. The trash, and above all the smell, boggled the mind. I should think there was enough post-debauch clutter to send the entire population scuttling off to church in shame and remorse.

Posted by: Robert at 09:06 AM | Comments (15) | Add Comment | Trackbacks (Suck)

February 04, 2008

Gratuitous Musickal Posting

BrookStreetBand.jpg

These lovely and talented ladies are the Brook Street Band, an up-and-coming young period instrument group. The other day I heard a selection from their recording of Handel's Opus 5 Trio Sonatas on the radio while headed for work, and immediately dashed off to the devil's website to order the CD as soon as I got to the office. Having just got it into my hot little hands and heard it all the way through, I can say that it does not disappoint in the least.

I used to have a cassette recording of these pieces performed by Trevor Pinnock & friends. I was never able to find a CD version of it, nor have I until now found what I considered to be a really good alternative. I'm happy to report that the ladies of the BSB fill that bill very well indeed.

Posted by: Robert at 04:31 PM | Comments (17) | Add Comment | Trackbacks (Suck)

Heading Into Thunderdome Tuesday

Well, I've been pretty bad with predictions but I might as well keep trying.

Polls in the "winner-take-all" states favor McCain and California - which awards delegates by congressional districts - looks to be trending Romney, who is also leading in Western states.

I'm guessing that the Huckleheads are bound and determined to still vote for their guy in sufficient numbers to damage Romney pretty badly. I wish I was wrong but I'm guessing that McCain will come out of tomorrow with at least a two to one advantage in delegates.

On Wednesday, the Romney camp will look at the remaining states and delegates up for grabs and make a call. Only if it looks promising enough will he continue. Romney doesn't strike me as the kind of candidate who would pursue a brokered convention. If the writing is on the wall, he'll pull out by the end of the week. If he makes a surprise showing and remains a lot closer in the hunt, he'll probably go a bit longer hoping for his own momentum.

I don't see it, though. So, Thunderdome Tuesday: McCain and Romney enter. McCain leaves and runs bartertown.

The Dems? This one should really be interesting. Things must be getting tight because SWMNBN is turning on the water works again. Hey, whatever works, right? My guess is that Obama will win enough to keep going and the focus after this week will be all on the protracted fight in that race.

Me? Tomorrow, I'll be pulling the lever for Giuliani Thompson Romney, despite the fact that McCain has anywhere from a 16-28 lead in the polls here in Connecticut. So, let the chips fall where they may.

Posted by: Gary at 02:06 PM | Comments (18) | Add Comment | Trackbacks (Suck)

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