It was only last evening as I got ready for bed that I realized a substantial part of the reason I had blurry vision and such a headache yesterday was the fact that I had put my contacts in the wrong eyes that morning.
Boing!
I mentioned this to the family this morning and they immediately started advocating Lasic, a drum they've been beating ever since our next door neighbor announced she was getting the treatment. My philosophy on Lasic has always been this: that the original concept of sculpting the cornea was pioneered by the Soviets and I'll be damned if I trust my eyes -as awful as they already are - to Ivan. In ten years' time when all those Lasic'd people's peepers start swelling up like balloons and bursting, I'm just going to stand by and laugh.
UPDATE: Captain Ned brings up a very good point in the comments about vanity medicine, of which I consider Lasik to be a prime example. Others include cosmetic surgery and/or dentistry, hair replacement and that whole line of products and procedures devoted to, well, enabling older guys to act like randy teenagers again. Frankly, I increasingly find all such fripperies to be morally repellant. Further, I often wonder how so many people come up with the dosh for these sorts of things while, at the same time, howling to high heaven about the health care crisis this country seems to be facing perpetually. And don't tell me it's just Astors and Rockefellers getting boob-jobs, teeth-bleaching and Viagra, either, because it isn't.
1
I also think we've reached the age that - ahem - it's kinda late to the game. It seems like even Lasik'd eyes begin to decline again over time. But what do I know; my friend just had it done and is over the moon about it.
Posted by: Monica at February 23, 2008 11:10 AM (rh229)
Posted by: Robbo the LB at February 23, 2008 12:15 PM (QvCTU)
3
I've got friends and coworkers who've gone the LASIK route and are happy. I still refuse to do it for one reason. If the surgeon screws up, there ain't no way to fix things. I could care less about vanity, so I'll stick with contacts and/or glasses.
BTW, 44 here, and just starting to do the "hold it farther away to read it" thing. I figure I'm in bifocals in a couple of years.
Posted by: Captain Ned at February 23, 2008 12:50 PM (2b8Uy)
4
I know a guy who has problems from his LASIK surgery, which is just one more reason I won't have it done.
I'll wear glasses and contacts for the rest of my life, I won't take the chance of someone screwing up my already crappy vision.
Posted by: GroovyVic at February 23, 2008 02:45 PM (DVkb2)
5
One of my brothers was lasiked, and the very same day he had to go out and get readers because he'd instantly become farsighted.
I just don't see the point of getting it done if you're still going to have to wear glasses.
Posted by: Kathy at February 23, 2008 08:19 PM (xh/vO)
Obama's claim of underequipped troops in Afghanistan. Via Fox. It is a lot like SWMNBN's story about being turned away by a Marine recruiter when she was a law professor in Arkansas. The tale sounds impressive to the Lefty true-believers whose experience with the military is limited to watching "Stripes", but lacks the details which would allow serious investigation. In other words, it is completely unverifiable.
1
I am sure that in the time we've been in Afghanistan, there have been firefights where troops have run low on ammo; where they've exhausted their basic load of ammo. There may even have been firefights where troops, out of ammo, have grabbed a dead enemy's AK.
So, on the micro scale, has this happened? Undoubtedly. On the macro scale, do we have shortages of ammunition? No.
You carry a basic load of ammunition. When I was in Germany, it was 210 rounds, or 7 30 round magazines. You go through that ammo, you have to get resupplied either through cross-leveling (i.e., borrowing a magazine from someone else) or by the higher headquarters dropping off ammo. Typically, if a platoon is operating alone for a period of time for extended patrolling, or in a firebase, you're going to have a stockpile of ammunition more than the basic load.
Now if you're in a firebase besieged by 100 Taliban, you're going to radio higher headquarters for help, both tactical and logistical. Might take them awhile to respond depending on METT-T (mission, enemy, terrain, troops, time) and weather. So you pick your shots, and you try to strip nearby enemy dead of weapons. Eventually a helicopter shows up and drops you more ammo, or a fresh unit comes in and relieves you.
This is all "pretty standard stuff" as Dr. Evil would say. It is stuff the army trains for and practices. Not every private in the army has an infinite supply of instantaneously available ammuntion; this isn't HALO and there are no cheat codes.
The Vietnam experience also indicated to the Army that if troops have too much ammunition, they will burn it off indiscriminately, which is why the M16 was changed from having a fully-automatic mode to having a 3 round burst.
For Obama to try to demagogue the realities of logistics to try to assert we are logistically screwed up or that the military is logistically incompetent is just beyond stupidity. He simply doesn't know what he's talking about.
Posted by: The Abbot at February 23, 2008 10:32 AM (QBuXz)
Condoleeza Rice is not interested in being McCain's running mate. Looks like John will have to look elsewhere if he wants to balance the ticket with a gal who has the hot older chick "my fantasy job is to be commissioner of the NFL" thing going on. Via Drudge and Reuters.
Storm of the Century of the Week - Winning Ten Cents In The Lottery UPDATE
Despite the fact that the grocery store was mobbed with panicked suburbanites stocking up on durable goods and provisions when I stopped off last evening to get some ice cream for the Missus' poor strep-ravaged throat, it appears that the latest SOTCOTW has only made things unpleasant in the Dee Cee area, not brought them to a standstill. While there was a moderate amount of ice on the ol' Orgle Manor drive this morning, by the time I got downtown I was only a soggy Llama, not a frozen one.
Last evening I picked up the middle Llama-ette from her brownie troupe "thinking day". While we were waiting for the gels to finish, well, whatever it was they were supposed to be doing (imitating savages possessed by the blood-lust from what I could see), I was chatting with another father, trying to recall when the last really big (by Dee Cee standards) blizzard came through. I remembered the big storms of '98, '96 and '93, and we recall one some time in either 2000 or 2001, but since then there really haven't been that many gen-u-ine "snow events".
'Bout time Snow Miser got off his duff, it seems to me.
"YEAH, I'M TALKIN' TO YOU" UPDATE:
Stop with the show tunes and get to @#$()* work!
(The Missus and I went to a law school Halloween party as Snow Miser and Heat Miser one year. No, you don't get to see the pictures.)
1
The last big blizzard was 96. I was in NH in 98, but I don't remember you guys getting a huge storm here then. We had no snow in 2001 that I remember - I was back in the area at that point and I left a solid snowpack and came back to near spring in January 01.
I think the last "big" snow we had was in 2003 around President's Day, I think.
Posted by: jen at February 22, 2008 11:27 AM (NcuXj)
2
I had just moved to MD when the storm of 96 rolled in, twice. I remember laughing when the kids wanted to go out and play and the snow was over their heads. We couldn't get out for 4 days, until the plowers arrived and then it took a day to get rid of the mound they left at the end of our driveway.
Posted by: LeeAnn at February 22, 2008 11:56 AM (wearR)
3
'Memba Dee Cee in '96? Mr. Mayor had not gotten around to paying to fix the snowplows, so none of Georgetown was plowed. I can tell you, it was a joy to get a running start coming off Key Bridge (in my little 5-speed VW Fox) to get up the hill of Wisconsin Avenue (I worked at NAS at the time). Traffic signals were not functioning, and there seemed to be 6 inches of ice that lasted for ages. Ah, good times!
Posted by: Monica at February 22, 2008 01:43 PM (IExDK)
In a news conference held in the outfield of Al Lang Field, team officials, Florida governor Charlie Crist, and MLB president and chief operating officer Bob DuPuy praised the design of the state-of-the-art ballpark, which will include a unique retractable roof made of a weatherproof fabric that will be pulled along cables suspended between arches on one end and a central mast structure on the other.
"This is one of the most exciting things I've ever seen," said Crist, who owns a condominium that will have an unobstructed view of the outfield.
Just two days before December, Crist and the other officials sweated in suits and ties on a dais located just a relay throw from the Mahaffey Theater, site of Wednesday night's CNN/YouTube debate among Republican presidential hopefuls. It was a reminder of how sultry conditions could be during late-summer games.
The roof, likened to a giant sail, will produce an umbrella effect, retaining the open-air feel. Rays officials, working with HOK Sport architects, deemed a traditional retractable roof impractical because of the small site and undesirable, since it would block the water views.
My guess is that the thing is going to produce something more like a wind-tunnel effect. Wind pushing on the sails of a boat make it go through the water. Where's the wind going to go if the boat won't move? Swirling all over the diamond, that's where.
I have to confess that I'm not exactly in love with the Nats' new stadium, which seems, well, kinda boring. But at least it doesn't look like this thing.
1
Jeeze Robert... You are such a sour puss. I think it lookj beautiful.
Posted by: Babs at February 21, 2008 09:39 PM (iZZlp)
2
yeah, I work at the Washington Navy Yard so I have been watching the Nats stadium go up. We are so looking forward to trying to get home on the days there is a game there. Still not sure they've successfully cracked the lack of parking nut.
Posted by: Mike at February 22, 2008 09:05 AM (mhzqV)
Our pal Sarah over at Life at Full Volume got a couple of good snaps of last night's lunar eclipse.
I tried to watch it myself, but it was so dark I couldn't see a thing. Heeeeeey-oh!!!
(No, as a matter of fact, the clouds rolled out of the NoVa suburbs so that by the time the big show started, it was clear as a bell. I took a quick peek but was so worn from a long day that I pretty much said "urmph" and went to bed.)
1
I know living in CST would totally screw up your Letterman viewing habits, but if you lived here, you could have seen it start at around eight. I watched it from my chair in the living room...highly convenient. Very cool, indeed.
Posted by: Kathy at February 21, 2008 03:45 PM (buzNL)
2
Letterman, is it now? Haven't watched him in donkey's years. I'm lucky if I can remain conscious until 10 these days.
Posted by: Robbo the LB at February 21, 2008 05:35 PM (C31gH)
... Winter Storm Warning in effect from 10 PM this evening to
10 PM EST Friday...
The National Weather Service in Sterling Virginia has issued a
Winter Storm Warning... which is in effect from 10 PM this evening
to 10 PM EST Friday. The Winter Storm Watch is no longer in
effect.
A storm moving in from the southwest will bring precipitation into
the cold air already in place over the region. The result will be
light snow overnight... followed by freezing rain Friday into
Friday night.
Light snow will begin during the late evening hours tonight...
likely close to 10 PM. One to two inches of snow is expected
overnight. The snow will change to freezing rain early Friday
morning.
The freezing rain will be on and off during the day on Friday and
into Friday night. Significant icing... around a quarter of an
inch... is expected. This will likely cause substantial travel
problems and power outages. Stay tuned to the latest forecasts
through this event.
A Winter Storm Warning means significant amounts of snow...
sleet... and ice are expected or occurring. This will make travel
very hazardous or impossible.
As a matter of fact, it looks like tomorrow is going to be an unpleasant day, but not enough so to justify staying home and snuggling back under the blankets. Rats. As I believe Calvin once said, getting an inch of snow is like winning ten cents in the lottery.
***Can you tell how much I enjoy using this post title?
1
Two inches of snow make a snow day? What a difference it makes when you aren't used to snow on a regular basis. We (SE Wisconsin) have over two inches of snow and more accumulated ice on the roads, still left from the great dump on 2/6 (18"? Bah - just an ordinary day).
Still, be careful out there.
Posted by: diane at February 22, 2008 08:09 AM (jc9oB)
The almost-ten-year-old is off on a ski trip today with her class at St. Marie of the Blessed Educational Method. It's her first trip to the slopes and, as such, involved a tremendous amount of fussing about over the past few days to ensure that she had all her outdoor gear packed, together with a side trip by Self in the snow last evening to pick up a pair of ski goggles she's borrowing from a friend. It also involved the gel being wide-awake by three-thirty this morning and Self staggering out of bed an hour early in order to get her over to school to meet the bus in time.
The Powers That Be had stated in no uncertain terms that all the kids had to be at school no later than 6:30 AM or else! This meant, of course, that most of them rolled in between 6:35 and 6:45. It also meant, as I am neurotically compulsive about punctuality to the point of near obsessiveness and the gel - at least when she wants something - is getting that way, that we were at school by 6:15, utterly alone in the parking lot. This actually proved to be quite nice. There wasn't much advice I could give her about skiing (I've only been once myself), except to say that of course she was going to fall down but that is to be expected, and also that there is no shame in the bunny slope. Apart from that, we simply chatted in a desultory manner about historical trivia (the gel seems captivated by my Cliff Clavin-like font of knowledge) and politics. (The gel is taking a real interest in the electoral process this time around and wants to know all about the mechanics of the primary and general elections. FWIW, she thinks Obama is enjoying so much support right now because he's cute and people have a crush on him, but that this will fade. You might consider taking that to the bank.) The gel was also eager to try out a string of jokes on me. (Sample - Q: What do you get when you cross a skunk with a sixty-story building? A: I don't know, but it stinks to high heaven. Yes, folks, she'll be here all week. Don't forget to tip your server.) We also watched the dawn slowly break, mused about which planet it was we could see in the eastern sky and just generally had a nice few moments together.
Then the other kids started showing up and things changed rayther rapidly. There are two boys in the gel's class about whom she talks almost constantly, mostly to relay a long string of allegations concerning stupid or insulting things they had said or done to her. Nonetheless, I couldn't help noticing that she immediately glommed on to them when they appeared, leaving the other girl who had arrived by then standing awkwardly alone on one foot.
I loitered about for a few minutes, but when the gel noticed that the trip chaperone had arrived, she immediately swung round on me and said, "You can go now, Dad." "What, are you trying to get rid of me?" I replied. She simply grinned and laughed. And as she scurried off, she also wouldn't let me kiss her. ("Not in front of them, Dad!") So far as I can recollect, this is the very first time that's happened. I must say that it caused my heart to thump just a bit off-rhythm for a second as I contemplated the Undiscovered Country. I'm not yet like stout Cortez's soldiers standing in wild surmise on that peak in Darien, but I'm increasingly of the opinion that I'm not all that far below the crest anymore.
1
What Cliff didn't know he made up. I'm guessing you do that too?
Posted by: Chai-rista at February 21, 2008 09:30 AM (ERCKE)
2
The baby sitting co-op I alluded to in the peanut thread had a "keeper of the snow gear." One woman had a huge trunk of ski/snow gear for children that you could loan out for the infrequent trip to the snow. Recall we lived in SoCal. Anyone that actually bought snow gear that their children had outgrown was compelled to donate it.
That really worked out well.
Posted by: Babs at February 21, 2008 11:16 AM (iZZlp)
3 Play a free online Backgammon game against friends, the computer or jump into a Quick Match and we\\\'ll find a player for you.
online backgammon - http://www.nacr.net/
I am so terribly proud of the men and women that serve our country and the technology that this great nation has pioneered. God Bless every one of you...
Now go out and re-polish that bell!
Posted by: Babs at February 21, 2008 11:21 AM (iZZlp)
2
I got a chuckle out of your use of CHICOMs. I thought I was the only person left who speaks of it as "Red China" anymore.
Posted by: The Abbot at February 21, 2008 03:16 PM (FxbQI)
*** A stock phrase from my yoot, originally coined by my brother (in a more garbled form) in connection with turning on the dishwasher, but gradually applied to competition among my siblings and me for the operation of many different appliances and mechanical apparati. It is now a family joke. And in the apples-not-falling-far-from-the-tree department, the Llama-ettes routinely spar over who gets to turn on Daddy's coffee-maker in the morning.
1
For my children the button of choice is the one inside the elevator. The button outside is of complete unimportance, but apparently great honor is attached to being able to press "the inside button."
Posted by: Jordana at February 20, 2008 11:47 AM (MZH8a)
2
The pentagon is saying with a straight face 'this is not a weapons test'. I bet there was a scuffle among the joint chiefs regarding who got to go out and proclaim that whopper. After China had its little escapade a while back, you know that our guys have been itching to shoot something down.
Posted by: tdp at February 20, 2008 12:02 PM (7CsBg)
3
At the nursing home where my 96 year old grandmother lives, the lowest and most accessible elevator button is the shiny red one with big white letters on it. It is hard to intercept a two year old when there are three walkers and a wheel chair in the way.
Posted by: AKL at February 20, 2008 01:58 PM (ntc61)
4
Jordana, perhaps you can introduce one of my favorite sniglets to the kids: Elecelleration: The mistaken belief that repeatedly pressing the elevator button will make it arrive faster.
Hope the baby's feeling better.
Posted by: Monica at February 20, 2008 06:07 PM (8LP/G)
I know a lot of pundits are simply quaking over the potential candidacy of "The Chosen One". But, mark my words, the campaign of SWMNBN is only "mostly dead". And even if it were "all dead" I can't - for the life of me - see this unprecedented level of unscrutinized adulation lasting past this spring. Frequent readers know full well that my political prognostications have fallen far short of reality but I know this: 2008 is going to be a trial run for Sen. Obama. When the record is examined, he will be the Adlai Stevenson of our generation.
UPDATE:
Chris Matthews (of all people) creates a "humana-humana" moment.
Wow. That was just...uncomfortable. It actually reminds me of the SNL debate skit from 2000 when Gov. George W. Bush (as played by Will Ferrell) responded to a particularly difficult question by leaning in to the microphone and saying authoritatively..."pass".
Best summary of Obama's candidacy I've read so far - from Sean Oxendine at Race42008:
People will inevitably tire of his stump speech, the same way that “Macarena” was a fun dance song the first million times or so that I heard it, before it started to piss me off. You can start to feel this in the punditocracy and in news analysis — what exactly DOES it mean to talk about the “audacity of hope” or to say that “you are the change that we’ve been waiting for”? When Leno and SNL start making fun of Obama’s lofty rhetoric, what exactly will Obama be left with (this isn’t to say “nothing,” but it is to say I really don’t know).
1
Entertaining, and yet Chris Matthews is being classic media bulldog. He's going after a nobody state senator (and a safely white male one at that) to prove himself as a tough interviewer. Let's see Matthews treat Oprah or even Ted Kennedy that way. Not going to happen.
Posted by: tdp at February 20, 2008 01:06 PM (7CsBg)
2
Sucks when the teflon is on the "left" wing, doesn't it?
Obama will never admit it (and may not even be conscious of it), but for the first eight years of his adult life, the President was Ronald Reagan, and Obama learned one hell of a lot from Reagan, via osmosis if nothing else.
He communicates. He inspires. He's fuzzy about the details, but he just oozes sincerity and a sense of genuineness. Policies might be 180 degrees apart, but the style is dead on target.
And even if you can't, or won't, agree with ANY of this, he is sending Clintonism to the dust bin of history. For that, all of you ought to be puckering up and moving quickly in the direction of his backside.
Posted by: Pep at February 20, 2008 03:58 PM (l8Mlr)
I am informed that owning to the changing out or hooking up or hammering on some kind of doohickee or other in her computer with a pipe-wrench, Mom is now again able to visit Llama Nation after a long hiatus. So, you know, just keep that in mind.
As for the pic, no, Mom looks nothing like Dame Wendy Hiller playing Lady Bracknell. But the notion of her saying to Steve-O, "Rise, sir, from this semi-recumbent posture!" fills me with mirth.
Yip! Yip!
AWW, MAAA UPDATE: Botched quote fixed. At least you know I didn't wiki it. But no last names in the comments, please!
Gratuitous Domestic Posting (TM) - "Weekend of 'Auuugh!'" Wrap-Up
Veeeeeery busy today, so only a brief summary of my four straight days dealing with the Llama-ettes single-handedly: I'm happy to report that there was no permanent structural damage and only limited bloodshed.
Indeed, the only real trouble I encountered was when I went to make the gels' lunches this morning. Absent-mindedly reverting to the diet of my own school days, I was just reaching for the sandwich-spread-of-death-formerly-known-as-peanut-butter when I was brought up short by the klaxon-like calls of the gels bursting out in alarum about kids at St. Marie of the Blessed Educational Method who were so sensitive to the stuff that apparently you couldn't even say "peanut butter" around them lest they burst out in life-threatening cases of hives and respiratory failure.
I confess that I was momentarily thrown. However, the discovery of stashes of yoghurts, apples and left-over mac-n-cheese soon settled the lunch diet issue.
So all I have left to do this evening is pick the gels up at their little friend's house on the way home, cart them off to Orgle Manor and summarily put them to bed (they having been fed at their friend's.) And then? Mommy comes home!
Yip! Yip! Yip!
1
Years ago, when we were young, did you know of any friends to have dropped dead of peanut butter exposure? I know at my kid's school there are three kids with "deadly" peanut butter allergies. I'd never heard of this prior to my kids going to school.
How many of our friends mysteriously died after eating peanut butter? Did they die before they went to school and before they became our friends? I wonder...
2
I have to think that it is some strange genetic marker, activated in our generation and passed onto our children, that comes from sitting too close to the television set.
Or perhaps DDT. I remember each summer the town truck would pass through our neighborhood (which was wooded) releasing the billowing clouds of DDT from the back.
We actually used to run though it. It was mixed with some other chemical that gave it a kind of sickly sweet, orchid smell.
Explains a lot, really.
I wonder about the allergy sensitivities, autism, and other odd miseries of today's youth. There does seem to be a lot of it. I have to think a lot of it is environmental in cause.
Or, alternatively, I wonder if our parents generation simply didn't leave a lot of our contemporaries exposed on the hillsides as babies, then simply kept it all quiet in that strange discipline they learned during the War.
Posted by: The Abbot at February 19, 2008 04:24 PM (FxbQI)
3
It is amazing how many kids today have the dread peanut allergy when no one we knew as kids did. We all ate peanut butter in copious amounts and live to tell about it.
Makes you wonder.
I blame Algore.
Posted by: jen at February 19, 2008 05:07 PM (UMVKj)
4
It has become such an issue at the local YMCA where I work out that the ONLY acceptable food to bring in for your kids to eat while you excersise is Goldfish. Not even pretzel goldfish..just the regular cheese kind. I think someone even said some thing about the extra cheese flavor being off limits!!!What the ____??
Posted by: Mrs. LMC at February 19, 2008 06:51 PM (W54Wt)
5
I was on a Jet Blue flight in December (maybe September, they all blur together) wherein they made an announcement that the snacks had been altered because there was someone with a severe peanut allergy on board. Apparently it was so bad we couldn't even eat things that had peanut oil in them.
Strange.
Posted by: beth at February 19, 2008 08:44 PM (AwZ3/)
6
I actually think it is a mutation from all the vaccines kids get these days, and at the ridiculously early age of a few days old. I am only 43, went to large public schools, you did not see all these kids with these super sensitivities, as well as so many that have asthma.
Sorry, I just have a little "hippie" in me, not trying to be a flaming troll. PS: yes, I have children, yes, I have a real college education AND a career in medicine.
Posted by: cheri at February 19, 2008 11:14 PM (8YrD8)
7
I was in a babysitting co-op for many years. One of the kids in the co-op had an extreme allergy to peanuts. His mother bought some "health bars" from Mother's Health Food Store. The kid ate one and died before his parents could boot him with the eppie shot... Right in front of the TV the kid dropped dead.
I don't know why this whole peanut allergy is happening. Yeah, I've eaten my weight in peanut butter as has everyone my age. The fact is that it is now deadly to some.
Posted by: Babs at February 19, 2008 11:19 PM (iZZlp)
8
Cheri - You say vaccines? You might be on to something there. As far as asthma is concerned, I always chalked that up to air pollution as I raised my children in SoCal. EVERYONE seemed to have an inhaler...
Actually, a pathetic little story; when the boys were in public elementary school we used to have a jog-a-thon (can't remember what the money was raised for). Anyhoo, the jog-a-thon needed to be scheduled during a "clean air" day. Adults would stand by with various children's inhalers... Kind of like giving water to marathon runners the kids would huff their inhalers before going another lap.
Posted by: Babs at February 19, 2008 11:29 PM (iZZlp)
9
One wonders if peanuts are being processed differently now than they were in our youth and if perhaps the allergy is not directly to the peanut oil but to some endemic parasite that a good dose of some illegal pesticide or chemical additive used to eradicate.
Posted by: AKL at February 20, 2008 02:04 PM (ntc61)
10
I grew up in a small town in Virginia where peanuts were processed. Peanuts grew all around. There was peanut dust all over, and on certain days when the factory roasted, the whole town smelled like roasted peanuts. No allergies there! Maybe the weak died young? Or early exposure kept them well? And, Abbot, we too ran behind the DDT truck and played in the mist. Lived to tell about it, too.
Posted by: Pnutqueen at February 25, 2008 04:53 PM (xCLHW)
Clinton, Inc. accuses Obama of lifting lines from Deval Patrick without attirbution. Obama seems to concede the point by saying he and Patrick borrow each other's lines all the time. Joe Biden used soundbites from Neil Kinnock's speeches during his 1988 presidential run. His failure to provide proper attribution on at least one occasion helped bury his chances of clinching the nomination.
1
Molly Ringwald & Russ from Winterset share the same birthday! Cooo-el! (Yeah, we have to share it with Vanna White, but Molly and I were born the same year, so we've got more claim to it as a pair than Vanna does).
Posted by: Russ from Winterset at February 22, 2008 10:58 AM (dyz/7)
In case you hadn't seen, the Crack Young Staff of the Hatemonger's Quarterly have emerged briefly from their collective burrow after a loooooooong hibernation. Whether "Chip" saw his shadow and, if so, what he proposes to do in response remains to be seen, but I'm hoping it doesn't mean another six weeks of hiatus.
1
Chip needs to get on the stick. We have the poetry contest coming up and I intend to win it this year (being the 2nd runner up last year, I really think I have a shot at it).
My poetry is so bad that I can't imagine being outdone. I have plunged new depths this year and demand that the HMQ recognize my genius!
Posted by: Babs at February 19, 2008 11:37 PM (iZZlp)
When I was in the Army, one of our personnel NCO's punked our company chemical NCO by having a friend at the post personnel facility cut him exceptionally realistic orders for a transfer to the chemical weapons disposal facility at Johnston Island.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Johnston_Atoll
Needless to say, it didn't go over quite as well as the Phillies prank.
Posted by: The Abbott at February 18, 2008 12:28 PM (FxbQI)
2
Also reminds me of the April 1, 1985 article in Sports Illustrated by Ge0rge Plimpton.
Can't link it as the spamfilter is acting up again, but Gary doubtless remembers Sidd Finch.
Posted by: The Abbot at February 18, 2008 01:04 PM (FxbQI)
Actually, I'm surprised the result isn't higher, given that a) I'm quite hungry at the moment, and b) I'm feeling quite malevolent regarding my doofus colleague. Perhaps if the quiz had asked whether one would be willing to eat one's co-workers instead of one's friends, the results might have been more gruesome.
Yips! to Beth via Jen, neither of whom is quite so bloody-minded.
*** Spot the quote.
WHICH DOOFUS COLLEAGUE YIPS from Steve-O: 100%.
UPDATE: Typo (which is what it was) corrected. Bloody vikings.
I am writing to object to the insinuation that cannibalism is rife within the Royal Navy. As everyone knows it is now a greater problem within the RAF.
Sincerely,
Cpt. B.J. Smethig, R.N. (Ret)
With a side of Spam, Spam, Spam, baked beans, and Spam)
Posted by: BWS at February 18, 2008 01:12 PM (WIFkt)
3
48%!? I thought I'd be much higher. I definitely would do it if circumstances forced it, I just wouldn't do it on a lark again.
Posted by: rbj at February 18, 2008 01:42 PM (UgG6+)
HODGES: We can't go on much longer, sir. We haven't eaten since the fifth day.
MORLEY: We're done for, we're done for!
LIEUTENANT: Shut up, Morley.
HODGES: We've got to keep hoping. Someone may find us.
LEWIS: How we feeling, Captain?
CAPTAIN: Not too good. I...I feel so weak.
MORLEY: We can't hold out much longer.
CAPTAIN: Listen...chaps...there's still a chance. I'm...done for, I've...got a gamey leg and I'm going fast; I'll never get through. But...some of you might. So...you'd better eat me.
HODGES: Eat you, sir?
CAPTAIN: Yes. Eat me.
HODGES: Ewwww! With a gamey leg?
CAPTAIN: You don't eat the leg, HODGES. There's still plenty of good meat. Look at that arm.
MORLEY: It's not just the leg, sir.
CAPTAIN: What do you mean?
MORLEY: Well, sir...it's just that �
CAPTAIN: Why don't you want to eat me?
MORLEY: I'd� I�d� I�d rather eat Johnson, sir!
HODGES: So would I, sir.
LEWIS: Definitely.
CAPTAIN: I see.
JOHNSON: I'm not an hors doeuvre, everyone's gonna eat me!
LIEUTENANT: Uh, well.
MORLEY: What, sir?
LIEUTENANT: Go ahead, please, but I won't �
MORLEY: Oh nonsense, sir, you're starving.
LIEUTENANT: No, no, it's not that.
MORLEY: What's the matter with Johnson, sir?
LIEUTENANT: Well,�. he's not kosher.
MORLEY: That depends how we kill him, sir.
LIEUTENANT: Yes, that's true. But to be perfectly frank I...I like my meat a little more lean. I'd rather eat Hodges.
HODGES: Blimey! Oh well, all right.
MORLEY (sulking): I still prefer Johnson.
CAPTAIN: I wish you'd all stop bickering and eat me!
LEWIS: Look. I tell you what. Those who want to can eat Johnson. And you, sir (to Lieutenant), can have my leg. And we make some stock from the Captain, and then we'll have Johnson cold for supper.
CREW: (cacophonous, all at once)
CAPT: Hmm, yes, good idea.
MORL: Excellent thinking, very good.
LIEUT: I don't suppose we could have Hodges in the morning?
HODGES: Good idea, yes.
JOHN: Wonderful menu. Yes.
Posted by: Binks, WebElf at February 19, 2008 07:58 AM (Lqgnd)
